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Chapter Text

Chapter 1: Introductions and Impressions

Kitty liked riding in her family's carriage. It was smaller than would be considered comfortable, and somewhat stuffy when it housed herself, her parents, and her older sister. But, despite the small annoyances, the rumble of the road beneath the wheels was soothing, and there was something exciting about travel. Kitty had hardly been anywhere outside of Hertfordshire. The idea of new buildings and land and perhaps even different trees and plants was exciting.

“Kitty, sit up straight would you? You give me back pains just looking at the way you twist yourself!” Mrs. Bennet cried when the silence had become too much for her.

Kitty sighed and straightened herself out of the corner. She couldn't see the passing countryside unless leaning against the side of the carriage where the curtains left a crack. The curtains had been closed to avoid her mother's headache from increasing in severity, although it had done little to improve her mood.

Mrs. Bennet had emotions that were like the tide. They would ebb and flow at a rhythm that Kitty could predict with a decided measure of accuracy. Mrs. Bennet's mood would fall with too little stimulation, and if she were bored enough she was likely to find something to be cross at, especially if her focus could turn to her daughters.

Mary avoided most of the insult, by simply never being bothered by the words of others. She had a book she had brought, but the movement of the carriage and the fine print would make her ill. She had spent most of their days traveling, making herself sick and then recovering enough to repeat the process. Kitty could hardly understand the point when it wasn't even a novel.
Kitty, on the other hand, was used to having a companion in her sister Lydia, or at the very least her sisters, Jane and Elizabeth, who would not have ignored her so greatly as Mary. But, her other sisters were gone, Lydia was married and Jane and Elizabeth would soon follow suit.
It felt odd to travel so far only to be saying goodbye, although Kitty was certain she was alone in her sentiments.

“Oh, I shouldn't think I could ever be more overwhelmed with happiness than I am now!” Mrs. Bennet exclaimed when the carriage had reached a level of silence that she could not abide, “Don't you agree Mr. Bennet?”

Mr. Bennet had been nearly dozing when his wife questioned him, but he was good enough to respond, “I am quite overwhelmed. I shall be giving away my two most sensible daughters. There should be little respite of peace with my Lizzie so far removed.”

“Oh, you do tease me! Are you not at peace with the knowledge that your daughters should be married so well! It is all I have dreamed about since I first saw my dearest Jane in my arms. To think three of my five daughters have found husbands in such a short time. I would hope to say five but three is just as well. I worry that my last two will not be so quickly engaged,” Mrs. Bennet said with more ease than was kind.

Kitty did not protest her mother's words. She wished to, but did not have the sharp tongue of Lydia and Elizabeth. Kitty did not like being insulted so openly, but to protest would also be admitting that they thought her lesser than her sisters, and saying such things out loud was too terrible to try.

“If I am never engaged I would not be upset. I have no need for the frivolities that the weaker of the fairer sex are prone to. I have my books to keep me company and most I find hold more value than the acquaintance of a gentleman can bring,” Mary said. Her book on her lap once more.

“Perhaps we can find a clergyman who would see you and your book wed. I'm sure no one would object at mass,” Kitty said, and for a moment she felt like she sounded like Lydia.

Mary let out a noise that had no name but did not hide her anger, turning away, and Mrs. Bennet did not tell her to sit up straight. Kitty felt guilty for the jab, but she had endured far worse with more poise. Lydia was fond of teasing. She had been the youngest, but with her height and the way she carried herself, most had assumed her Kitty's senior. It was her mannerisms that had won her the heart of Mr Wickham as well, even if their actions afterwards had nearly led the Bennet family into ruin.

It had been three months since Lydia Bennet had become Mrs. Wickham and moved Newcastle. The only person to willingly bring her name up in conversation had been Mrs. Bennet. Everyone else is embarrassed by her. Kitty had only been left to hear pieces of a whole story. They had fallen in love and ran away to London, were eventually found and persuaded to wed. Lydia was still sending letters to Kitty, but her story of the tale was fanciful, and it was too hard to tell what was fact and what was false.

“I am disappointed that my brother will not be there to see my daughters wed,” Mrs. Bennet said, as if on cue.

“Aunt and Uncle will visit Pemberley after we leave right?” Kitty asked.

“Yes, that was what they said in their letter, but more interesting I believe is that Mr. Gardiner said that along with his wife he will bring another guest,” Mrs. Bennet said.

“Who?” Kitty asked, thankful for the interesting conversation.

“A young gentleman who my brother has taken under his wing, teaching him the ways of trade and business. I think it is very inconsiderate of him to not bring this young man earlier so that we may meet him. He is too careless when he knows that I still have two girls in desperate need of suitors,” Mrs. Bennet scoffed.

“Mother! I hope you don't think we are so desperate. Lydia had offered to have me visit her. Why, she says they have a ball every fortnight and she dines with officers nearly every evening.”

“Absolutely not,” Mr. Bennet said, and Kitty had the good sense not to counter him. Her father had been abundantly clear about his position on Kitty visiting her sister, and Kitty did not want to argue in a place where she couldn't retreat to her room when the yelling became too great.

“I wrote my brother back and told him my feelings. I do hope he rethinks his schedule,” Mrs. Bennet said, and there was little anyone could add. Mary picked up her book and Kitty opened the curtain enough to watch a sliver of passing hills on the horizon.

Pemberly was more grand than Kitty could imagine a house. Netherfield Park had been impressive, but Pemberly was wholly different. It was old, but well taken care of and the gardens were vast. The carriage traveled up a tree-lined road that went nearly a mile before the manor came into view. Mrs. Bennet's headache was completely forgotten and all curtains were opened so they might see the house the very moment they were able. Even Mary put aside her indifference for wonder. There was talk of the costs such a building would take. It was known that Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth's betrothed, made 10,000 pounds a year and owned much of Derbyshire.

Kitty had only met Mr. Darcy a few times outside of balls. He had never spoken to her or Lydia and that had made Lydia nearly boil over with terrible opinions. Kitty had not liked him much either, but he must be good somehow if Elizabeth loved him. He had stayed in Hertfordshire after the engagement for a time, but business and Kitty suspected nerves had taken him away.

Elizabeth and Jane had gone to Pemberly a week earlier to prepare for their weddings. Mrs. Bennet had been inconsolable for a time at the perceived slight of not taking her with them, but had quickly recovered. The joy of her daughters marrying was too great to be suppressed for long.

Jane and Lizzie were waiting for them when they arrived. There was luggage to bring in, and rooms to be shown to, and a different servant for every task and every door to be opened. Kitty was swept up in the energy of it all. Pemberly was even larger inside. The ceilings were tall and the doorways wide and every inch was accounted for and decorated. Even the guest room for Kitty and Mary was beautiful. The furniture was a dark wood and the size was twice the size of her room at home. Everything was so perfectly in place that Kitty could not ignore the feeling of being out of place herself.

“I have heard that Mr. Darcy has quite the library. I should like to see what volumes he may have,” Mary was saying, “and I am aware his sister is in possession of a piano forte that I would be most remiss to leave without a chance to play.”

Kitty finally gave herself leave to walk about the room, “What do you suppose his sister in like?” she asked.

“I have heard that she is most accomplished.” Mary said. She was opening her luggage, which seemed to house more books than dresses.

“I have heard her to be prideful and standoffish,” Kitty said, running her hand along the baseboard of the bed, feeling the valleys and mountains of the carved wood, “That is what Lydia says that Mr. Wickham has told her. She also said that Miss Darcy had once loved Mr. Wickham but he rejected her. She said he did it most nobly, but I'm not sure how one can say they don't love someone back in any way other than heartbreakingly.”

“Gossip is the way to ruin,” Mary answered, and Kitty's face flushed. She missed Lydia most of all during times like this. Lydia could be sharp with her words and tease someone without mercy, but she never made Kitty feel like she was silly or foolish or rude.

Kitty didn't continue the conversation, and Mary made no indication that she minded at all.

The weddings were to take place the following morning. Kitty was fairly sure that that was to keep her mother's influence at a minimum. Mrs. Bennet had immediately demanded to see how the ballroom had been made up and what dresses they would wear and what flowers would be brought in. Kitty was thankful that she was not a bride, the stress seemed too great.

The hour had been so late that they were seated to a supper, but the other members of the household had already eaten. Kitty would not see anyone but her family until the wedding itself.

Kitty lay awake worrying. She wasn't exactly sure what she was nervous about, but somehow this wedding seemed important, as if she were being presented to Elizabeth and Jane's new families and if she didn't make a good enough impression that she would lose them as well.

There was always chaos at Longbourn before a ball or dinner. Kitty and her sisters were always rushing about, flitting from one room to another, always late and always in a hurry. Jane would be ready first and would have found a sensible seat in the sitting room to await their leave. Elizabeth would always have one thing or another that she would remember to need done. Lydia would change her mind on her dress or fan or hair three times. It was always three, never more and absolutely never less. Mary would find the call to practice her newest learned piano piece and fill the home with songs that hardly fit the feel of the day. And Kitty would just walk from room to room, enjoying the chaos and helping Lydia with her hair and have the favor returned.

The morning of the weddings was chaotic as well, Kitty did not feel at ease by it. Servants were rushing by her door, causing Kitty to jump with a start at every heavy footfall that passed. The kitchen sat across the courtyard, and with their window open, the shouts could be heard. A {kitchen girl} had burnt a pot of soup and they had to dump it out. Kitty could hear her mother fretting loudly in the room across the hall, her cries rising like high tide. Mary was reading in the chair that sat beside the morning light.
Kitty was trying to pull her dark hair up into a bun, but her curls were too unruly. The moment she had the right side pulled up, curls from the left would fall out of place. She had to be careful to not ruin the ringlets. She had put her hair into paper curls the night before easily enough, but she had lost her usual help in styling. Jane and Elizabeth had aided her in the last few months, but they were likely too busy now.

“Mary?” Kitty looked over at her sister, “Could you help me? I could do your makeup, I used to do Lydia's make up and I think I'm quite good at it.”

Marry sniffed, “A young girl's completion should not be muddied with perfumes and powders. I have no need for such things.”

Kitty watched as Mary returned to her book, “Fine! I wish from the bottom of my heart that you should never need my help with such things for as long as you live, because I will never help you.” her hand squeezed on the wooden handle of her brush hard enough to hurt and she turned away to focus her energies on keeping her tears at bay, for they would ruin her own perfumes and powders.

Mrs. Bennet would sometimes say that Mary was her only plain daughter, but Kitty knew that was only by choice. Mary hardly wore ribbons or lace and she seemed content to own a single nice dress that she wore for Sunday service as well as most formal functions. Her hair was sharply parted and pulled back into a low sitting bun. A few curls sat in front of her ears but that was it. Kitty had never known her to wear flowers or ribbons in her hair, even at balls. Her hair was a pretty chestnut, the reddest of all the Bennet girls, and her skin clear, if a little red from the harsh morning wash.

Kitty's skin was freckled a bit too much for most's taste, but her face was round and she thought her smile to be very good. Her hair was the darkest of her sisters, but if she brushed it well it would shine prettily.

Today her hair frizzed from curls falling out and looked dull. Kitty relented and pulled her hair back tighter than she would have liked and fixed a bun that did not show off the hours work of setting her curls the night before, but would guarantee her hair would stay in place. She tried to reset the curls that framed her face with her fingers, but pulled most back with a thick blue bandeau. She didn't need to look her best, she had decided, it wasn't her day to shine anyway.

The wedding was beautiful. They had set up chairs and flowers in the ballroom to account for the amount of family who had come for the double wedding. Jane stood up with Mr. Bingley and they both seemed to share the same overwhelming happiness. IT flowed through them and infected most in the room. Mr. Bingley's sister, Miss Charlotte Bingley stood beside Jane and had a face masked with indifference when she thought no one was looking at her. The third Bingley sibling sat with her husband, Mr. Hurst. Mr. Hurst looked bored, which seemed unreasonable to Kitty, when so much of interest was going on.

Elizabeth looked happy as well and, like Jane, looked very beautiful. Jane had a new dress of soft pink and Elizabeth had a new sash around her old dress that made the green of the embroidery around her sleeves pop. The same flowers around the room were woven in their hair.

Mr. Darcy stood tall and proper, and his face was hard to read. Kitty wasn't sure if he was happy or not. His cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam stood beside him in uniform. He reminded Kitty of Mr. Wickham, even if he bares little resemblance excepting a similarly hued coat. Colonel Fitzwilliam was older and less handsome, but not embarrassingly less than Mr. Wickham, but Kitty wasn't sure if that was simply her memories making things more pretty than they had been.

Standing beside Elizabeth was Georgiana Darcy. Her hair was a lighter blond than Jane's and she had a very pretty face with a light blush that sat high on her cheekbones. Her dress was fine and light and she stood still and graceful and didn't look around the room once.

“That is Miss Darcy right? She is our age is she not?” Kitty whispered to Mary, her anger from the morning had since simmered.

Mary did not turn towards her, but still whispered back, “She is sixteen.”

“Sixteen, just a year younger than I, and she has not been out in society yet? I heard she lives in London, how can that be possible?” Kitty kept her voice low, even at their distance from others, she did not want to be overheard.

“She has been bettering herself. Women of such beauty and fortune cannot simply flaunt themselves without risk,” Mary said.

“I suppose after the issue with Mr. Wickham,” Kitty shrugged, “She certainly looks very serious.”

“It is good to be serious,” Mary insisted, straightening her back.

Kitty could only stifle a giggle and remain silent, for fear of insulting her sister.

The wedding breakfast seemed to awaken some of the most silent guests. There was a large cake that sat at the center with browned almond icing and white refined sugar icing and enough alcohol soaked into the cake that Kitty could not take more than a bite of it. There were eggs boiled hard and thick cuts of ham seasoned with brown sugar and berry jams and soft buttery rolls. The soup hardly seemed missed.

Elizabeth sat beside her husband but Kitty had managed to be seated beside her as well. Her sister had not changed with her new title of Mrs. Darcy. She still joked with Jane across the table and spoke animatedly to Mr. Bingley, describing a story of a missing shoe with lively spirits.

Mary was trying to explain the finer contents of her book to their mother, but Mrs. Bennet kept interrupting her to try to converse with Miss. Bingley, who was not interested in the slightest. The men were discussing hunting in the area, but as Kitty listened, it sounded as if hunting in Derbyshire was identical to the rest of England.

“Kitty, how have you found Pemberly?” Elizabeth asked.

Kitty was thoughtful for a moment, “It's very beautiful. I think that a lot of thought and care has been placed into its design and I have seen only four rooms so far.”

Elizabeth laughed, “I cannot agree more. I think I was as speechless as you have been on my first viewing of it too. Come now, I know you to be lively and loud, why the change?”

“I wonder if you confuse me with Lydia, she can hold conversations with much more ease,” Kitty answered.

The mention of Lydia was sobering, but Elizabeth still smiled, “If you insist on the characterization, sister. What plans do you have in Meryton? I think I may even miss the assemblies. I know there to be some in Derbyshire should the nostalgia become too great.”

Kitty looked away, “I have not been to an assembly for a time. There had been one a week ago, but Mary does not enjoy them and mother is not always keen on going with me alone.”

“I'm sorry, Kitty,” Elizabeth tried, but Kitty only returned a smile.

“There is nothing to be sorry for. Today is a happy day, and I have found much to do without the need to travel to Meryton much at all. I think I should much rather talk of this missing shoe I heard you mention than assemblies or plans.” Kitty said.

Elizabeth began the story once more and Kitty looked down at her plate until it no longer blurred.

Chapter Text

Chapter Two – Solitude and Society

Kitty had never been in a home with quite so many rooms and nowhere to be by herself. The sitting rooms always seemed to be occupied by people and sounds and Kitty was exhausted. Mary hardly wanted to talk, and if she did, it was never a topic Kitty cared for. Elizabeth and Jane had new husbands to focus on. Neither had planned a newlywed trip and Kitty thought it only fair to give them some alone time. Jane would be easy enough to visit when she returned to Netherfield Park. Kitty sat with her mother mostly, but Mrs. Bennet required more attention than Kitty could handle by herself.

So, a few mornings after the wedding, when their visit was not yet halfway through, Kitty found herself with an armful of embroidery work walking through the halls to find a spot she may sit for a moment to regain her composure and energy.

In the western wing there was a bench that sat across three large windows. The doors around it remained closed, and Kitty was unsure of their purpose, but the seat looked comfortable and the light was favorable, so Kitty sat down and became lost in work.

“Good morning, Miss Bennet,” a soft voice startled Kitty from her hoop, her needle and thread in the middle of a french knot.

Miss Darcy stood above her, far enough away as to not block the light. She had a small leather bound book in her hand. Her skin looked nearly translucent in the sun.

“I... Miss Bennet is my sister Mary now. I'm Miss Catherine Bennet still,” Kitty said softly, her words felt heavy, almost clumsy even if they sounded polite enough.

“I'm sorry,” Miss Darcy shook her head, “I could call you Catherine if you like. I heard your mother call you Kitty, is that a nickname then?”

Kitty nodded, “Don't be sorry, please call me whatever you like.”

“Then, I would like to call you Kitty if you would call me Georgiana?” Miss Darcy said and when Kitty nodded she added, “May I join you? This bench is where I usually spend my mornings if I can.”

Kitty jumped up with a start, “I can leave! I didn't mean to intrude.”

“No, please stay. It is a nice spot,” Georgiana said. She sat down and Kitty slowly did as well. There was plenty of room for each to take a side and set their items in the center. Kitty bit her lip. Georgiana had not spoken much with her. She was not often with the others, and when she was Miss Bingley liked to take up much of her time. But, she seemed nice and everyone loved her so. Kitty wasn't sure how to converse with her, at least without falling quickly out of favor by being too silly.

“My brother placed this bench here for me years ago, when I still lived here at Pemberly,” Georgiana said quietly. The hallways was silent enough that Kitty did not need to strain to hear her soft words, “I was not a weak child, but I caught colds easily, so our physician recommended sunlight to improve my condition, but limited my time out in the cold. These windows give good light in the morning. I'm not so prone to sickness anymore, but I have found this spot is useful in other ways as well.”

“Other ways?” Kitty asked.

“Perhaps if we wait long enough, you will see,” Georgiana smiled, and Kitty was surprised to see a glint of mischievousness in her expression.

They sat much of the morning in silent company. Kitty continued her embroidery work. She had been given an older magazine from her aunt, Mrs. {whatever} before she had left Hertfordshire that had a pattern she had yet to try. It involved an exceeding amount of french knots, but if she could figure out the connecting stitch they almost looked to be daisy chains.

Quick glances at Georgiana revealed her book to be blank. She had a small charcoal pencil and was drawing a portrait of her brother from memory, a skill that impressed Kitty and made her embroideries seem less accomplished.

It was nearly noon when Kitty first heard the noise. She had to make herself very still to hear it clearly. It was coming from the floor. She looked down to see a vent for letting warm air circulate the second floor was opened slightly. Words drifted up from the floor.

“Anabelle, I swear I'm telling you truths. I heard John clear as day say he was the one who bumped you and made you drop the soup,” A maid told the other girl as they cleaned dishes from breakfast in the day room below them.

“Why would he do such a thing? He was no where near me. It is a lie!” the other girl, Kitty presumed to be Anabelle said.

Kitty looked at Georgiana, but Georgiana only put a finger to her lips and smiled.

“He fancies you, and you know Mrs. Harris dotes on him so. He wont be punished, not like you have been. Now you might not have to keep washing all the dishes!” The first girl said.

“Do you think?” Anabelle mused. Their conversation continued, but they drifted out of earshot when they left the room.

Georgiana clapped her hands together and then seemed embarrassed by the noise, “I have thought he liked her, now this confirms it.”

“So you like this spot so you may hear the servants?” Kitty asked.

Georgiana had the poise to look {embarrassed}, When I was younger I was often excluded. My brother is 11 years my senior and with my mother gone, I had little company save for governesses. I spent many years in solitude, but this helped me feel more connected to the home. I swear I have never used what I have learned for ill.”

“You certainly are surprising Georgiana, but I understand you reasons,” Kitty said.

“I have only been home for a little while now, so I have not frequented this spot as often as I used to,” she paused, “Am I really surprising? However so?”

Kitty looked away briefly, “I'm sorry. I only meant I thought you were much more like you brother. Extremely formal.”

“And, have I disappointed you? I will admit that my brother has tendencies that lead to him to assume a stoic manor that requires a sort of grace around him. His expectations can be strict, but never severe,” Georgiana said.

“Disappointment is not at all the word I would use. I have already used surprising, but if you wish another I can say that I am glad,” Kitty said, and then with the same suddenness wished she had not said something so strong.

Georgiana turned away, and Kitty thought she had made an error, as she always did, but Georgiana was smiling and said, “I cannot say I understand. I would hope you could give me some clarity. You are glad I am not so formal?”

“Oh, now you are teasing me, surely. I was too brash, and now you hope to make jest of my words,” Kitty said.

“I would never,” Georgiana said, all soberness, “I apologize, I let myself get carried away. I am... unused to talking with another woman my age, an equal.”

“I've spoken with my sisters, but I think that is different. Lydia was often the one who would form friendships. I don't know if I could call them friends as well, or if only by association,” Kitty explained.

“Are we friends then?” Georgiana asked, and then suddenly added, her voice raising in concern, “please forgive me for being bold! I don't wish to force you into a rejection, or worse still, accept a friendship you don't wish if only to keep composure. You can forget I said anything, I beg you to in fact.”

Kitty was silent, trying to piece her words together, “I don't know exactly how companionship is supposed to work. I think there are many unspoken rules that you are expected to know.”

“I am too, new and unused to friendship,” Georgiana nodded, relief spilling out with her words. Her emotions were so open that Kitty felt as if she could reach out and feel them.

“Then we might forge our own way,” Kitty said.

“Pilgrims on this sacred journey?” Georgiana suggested.

Kitty smiled, “Yes, we don't need unspoken rules. We each have a voice don't we? I think that asking to become friends is a good way to start.”

“You do? That is a comfort,” Georgiana laughed, pushing her curls behind her ear.

“Georgiana, would you like to be friends?” Kitty asked.

Georgiana straightened her back and smiled widely, “Yes, Kitty, I would like that very much.”

Kitty would visit the bench every morning after, and without fail Georgiana would join her. They had begun speculation about Anabelle and John, but had resolved to not involve themselves, as romance was best left to naturally develop. Kitty felt an ease she had not felt since Lydia had left month prior. Spending time with Georgiana, even when in silence, had reminded Kitty of how lonesome she had become in her solitude. It was disheartening to think that in four days time she would leave Pemberly all together and likely not see Georgiana for many months. Still, she would find joy the time they could have now.

Georgiana was fond of drawing, and had brought many sketches for Kitty to look over. Sometimes she would bring so many that they would need to leave them on the floor in stacks. They were mostly of portraits and still lifes. Kitty liked the ones she had drawn of the veiw of the garden outside of the window in different seasons. When she told Georgiana that, Georgiana turned away, but brought her larger sketching tray to do another the following morning.

When Kitty was on her fifth day of her visit the two of them had met again. Her mother had begun packing, and because of this she was constantly running through the halls from room to room looking for her haphazardly thrown shawls and fans and her very favorite bracelet that she could never dream of leaving behind. They would leave the morning after their seventh day, and Kitty had to accept that it would mean tommorow would be her last morning with Georgiana.

They still did not talk as much as Kitty believed that friends ought to, but the quiet was more peaceful that suffocating, and she often did not have much to say.

Elizabeth's voice rang out from below them, her words quiet, “I believe she will not bother us here,”

Mr. Darcy answered her, “We may go to my study, I would hate to think that perhaps your mother may remember leaving her petticoats in her porriage.”

“I think not, Mr. Darcy, she is most careful you see. Breakfast is extremely important,” Elizaeth said, but let her words follow with a laugh.

“I trust your judgement, Mrs. Darcy,” Mr. Darcy said.

“Good, I should hope you would. It is often correct.”

“And what is the cause of us needing this respite. I can see how your brow furrowed all morning. There is something you wish to discuss. I am correct in the manner am I not?”

Elizabeth sighed and her voice began to raise and fall as if she was pacing, “I am worried about my sister, Kitty.”

Kitty hand to cover her mouth to keep from gasping loud enough to be heard. Georgiana had let her book fall to her lap.

Elizabeth continued, “With Lydia gone, she had lost her main companion.”

“To her betterment I believe,” Mr. Darcy said.

“Yes, but, to lose a sister, especially one you are so close to is not easy. She has not been herself. With Mary I do worry less. She is more content at home, at least I believe she is. My father has kept her close to home and not allowed her to venture by herself, which I not terrible. If I, or Jane were home we may go out with her and not let her wilther in solitude,” Elizabeth continued.

“Am I also correct to assume that you have a sollution to propose?” Mr. Darcy asked. Kitty tried, but she could not tell Mr. Darcy's emotions from only his voice.

“I do,” Elizabeth continued, “Perhaps she could extend her visit. Her only. And, if she is a good companion for Georgiana then they could both come with us to London for the season. Neither have had a season, and while it is not neccesary for finding a husband, as I'm sure you can agree, they might benefit from the change in company and environment.”

Both remained silent for a time. Kitty was so involved in listening that she did not realise that Georgiana and put her hand in Kitty's until she squeesed it lightly. Kitty bit her lip and did not pull away.

“Miss Catherine Bennet is the youngest unmarried of you sisters correct? Miss Mary Bennet is older. Would it not be a slight to give Kitty a season and exclude Mary?” Mr. Darcy asked, and Kitty found herself nodding in disapointing agreement.

“She is, but, my aunt and uncle have taken Jane to London before, and I think if I talked to them, they may enjoy the opportuniy to take Mary when the season begins in full. I think of Kitty because I think Pemberly can do good to her, and I know that your sister needs girls her age to spend time with. I adore your sister, but I am older and married and that is a much different friendship to be had,” Elizabeth continued.

“Will Miss Catherine be able to be sensible?”

“I believe so. I have already seen the calming of her temperence with Lydia gone.”

“And her belongings? Does she have dresses enough? What of if we go to London? What then?”

That seemd to give Elizabeth some pause, “She has gowns, that I know. Perhaps Georgiana might have some that she no longer needs. Kitty can mend and hem well enough. If she is willing, that can be done in the time before the season. To stay here. She has well enough. I do not ask you to sponser her completely. That is unfair to ask of you.”

Mr. Darcy sighed, “I will see her composure in these two days and consider it. I do not want Georgiana's feelings to not be taken into consideration. I also worry about her society as well. If Miss Catherine leads Georgiana's temperance astray, I hope you understand that I cannot allow Kitty to stay.”

“I know, my dear Mr. Darcy, your opinion once lost, is indeed lost forever,” Eliuzabeth laughed.

Kitty waited, but with the click of the door, it was clear they had moved on from their hidden place. She looked down at her embroidery, trying to decide how she felt. Her sister wanted her to stay, but had in the same breath insulted her character and made no more to defend her when Mr. Darcy had done the same.

“Miss Kitty,” Georgiana said quietly. Kitty looked up and realised they were still holding hands. Georgiana pulled away first, looking embarrassed.

Georgiana spoke again, “Miss Kitty, you might stay.”

Kitty only nodded.

“Do you wish to stay? You may be candid with me, I promise,” Georgiana said.

“I would like it,” Kitty said slowly, “I would also like to be spoken about in a much more kind manner. Your brother thinks I may corrupt you to accomplish some terrible evils it seems.”

“IT really inst fair. I have known you only shortly and you have been nothing but a proper gentlewoman! What evil plans could you even have? I'm sure I would fall for them, for I can not see issue in your conduct and must then be completely fooled,” Georgisana shook her head. Their voices low, fear of being caught still overwhelming.

“Perhaps I have some grand scheme,” Kitty laughed at the thought, “maybe I hope to steal the Darcy crown jewels!”

“Well, I must be the bearer of bad news it seems, because we do not have any crown jewels,” Georgiana giggled.

“No? With a house so grand I thought this must be a castle and with a castle there must be royalty and crown jewels to outfit them,” Kitty said.

“I cannot even fathom such a jest. By this logic I must be a princess or some other royalty, and that cannot be so,” Georiana said.

“Why not? You certainly look the part,” Kitty said, and when Georgiana stood with a start, she worried that she had gone too far.

“Let's go then,” Georgiana said, ignoring the last statement.

“Go where?” Kitty asked, gathering her things without waiting for an answer.

“To my room. We have a much better chance of you staying if we can find you clothes to be lent before they ask it of us,” Georgiana said.

Georgiana held out her hand, and Kitty did not not think twice before taking it.

Chapter Text

Chapter Three - Convenience and Customs

Georgiana's room was large and beautiful. Striped blue and while wallpaper was adorned with delicate white roses. The curtains fluttered in the warm breeze when Georgiana had opened the tall windows.

Kitty was helping Georgiana sort her dresses. Georgiana would first pull them from her wardrobe and Kitty would carefully drape them over the bed or the sitting couch or the cleaned desk. Georgiana was only pulling out the dresses she would be happy to gift to Kitty, and to Kitty's surprise the number vastly outnumbered the dresses she aimed to keep. It was only after Kitty's pressing that Georgiana relented to taking back most of the dresses.

They were left with seven dresses that Georgiana had deemed acceptable to offer. One had to be discarded as it was too small and there would not be enough fabric to even make it wearable. A few others had tears and stains that were too large to simply mend, but Kitty knew that with work she may be able to salvage them.

Georgiana was looking over a pair of simple white day dresses when she spoke softly, “My brother is unfair to judge you so, when out of the two, I am the one to have caused him the most strife.”

Kitty looked up, “Do you mean regarding Mr. Wickham?”

“Yes, I do. My brother has kept a closer, stricter eye on me since that incident. I did not know that you have heard of it, although I suspected that Mr. Wickham might tell you sister something. May I ask what you have heard?” Georgiana asked.

“I don't wish to upset you,” Kitty tried.

Georgiana shook her head, “I will not be upset. I think my mind can create terrible realities, and hearing the truth will set me at ease.”

“If you are a sure,” Kitty sighed, “My sister said that you had loved Mr. Wickham, but he had rejected you. Really nothing more. I always suspected their was more to the story for Mr. Darcy to hold him in such low regard, but I never pressed it.”

Georgiana seemed relieved. She even smiled slightly, “There is more to the story, or maybe less. I did not love Mr. Wickham, not more than a brother at the most. He grew up with us here and he was much older than I was. He had come to me, and offered a marriage of convenience.”

“A marriage of convenience? Why would you need such a thing? You are so young and your fortune is not too little,” Kitty said.

Georgiana began to play with the dress at her side, “My brother had just begun to talk about finding a marriage for me and I was frightened. I didn't want to marry, and Mr. Wickham had told me he did not love me and if we married then there would be no expectations for either of us to fulfil. We were halfway to Greta Green before my brother learned of our plan.”

“To Greta Grene!” Kitty exclaimed.

“Yes. My brother saw Mr. Wickham's actions as a hope to gain access to my dowries and I couldn't find the words to explain my reasoning, so my brother thought I was just blind with love,” Georgiana paused, “Would you tell me of your sister, Lydia?”

“Lydia? What would you hope to know?” Kitty asked.

“I'm not particular. Everyone speaks of her in only whispers. I wonder what she was like,” Georgiana shrugged and turned away, but she was no actress. Her smile was forced and her nonchalant airs were carefully crafted. Kitty wondered if her affections toward Mr. Wickham were more serious than she had put on she was jealous of his new wife.

“Lydia is my mother's favorite. I was closest to her of all my sisters. She is smart and knows how to flatter anyone she meets. She enjoys jokes and likes to learn all she can about the goings on in whatever town she is in,” Kitty said.

“Do you think she might have made an arrangement with Mr. Wickham? A marriage of convenience?” Georgiana asked.

Kitty let out a breathy laugh,” I would be quite surprised if that was the case. All of her letters show her very much in love, or at the very least the strongest desire to be. She always had a liking for army men.”

“Army men,” Georgiana repeated softly. Kitty could not ignore how disappointed Georgiana looked, and wanted nothing more than to cheer her.

“So, I think perhaps I would need a dress for walking about and then one for formal things such as balls. One of each is enough for starting. I have some dresses already of course. Not as many as before, but still enough,” Kitty continued. Her hands lingered on a dress of pale peach. A large tear ran up the center. It was fine and the lace overlay on the bodice and sleeves were detailed and beautiful.

“Not as many as before? Did you lose some?” Georgiana asked.

Kitty looked away, “When Lydia came after her wedding to pack before moving she took a lot of the dresses we would share. We would lend each other dresses so we did not have to repeat so often, but when it came time to collect her belongings, I suppose she considered them too familiar to part with. It's no matter though, they were more hers than mine anyway, and always looked better on her than me.”

“I would never insult your sister, but I cannot imagine any good will in such an action. That seems hardly fair, especially with her married already!” Georgiana cried. Kitty watched, her eyes widening, as Georgiana's fists tightened and she stood quickly and took a turn around the room to calm her energy. Kitty wondered if Georgiana may apologize for her outburst, but found herself oddly pleased when no words of remorse were uttered.

They looked through the clothing. Georgiana had many ideas on how to repurpose dresses and skirts and ways to end and hem clothes. Kitty thought she might have the skill to complete Georgiana's designs and she was willing to try.

Kitty wanted to start immediately, but Georigiana advised they wait until they were told of the plans. She didn't want to make their spying so obvious, and Kitty readily agreed. They stored the dresses away and waited with anticipation that was almost too lively to conceal.

That afternoon there were guests that few knew would be arriving so ahead of schedule. Mr. Gardiner, Mrs. Gardiner, and Mr. Gardiner's protege, Mr. Ernest Price, had arrived four days before their announced arrival. Mr. Gardiner quickly explained to those misinformed that at his sister's urging he had come early enough to make introductions for Mr. Price and to see his family off. As one is expected to do in honor of respectfulness, he had first gotten the permission of Mr. Darcy, but to all else it was a joyous surprise.

All gathered into the parlor to make acquaintances and reunions. Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner were happy to see their family and did not hide their good naturedness. Mr. Bingley was overjoyed by their good countenance and let his good impressions be known. Even Mr. Darcy seemed quite warm to their arrival.

Mr. Ernest Price was a well dressed man of early twenties. Kitty could tell his jacket was new, but he knew how to stand and sit without creating unflattering lines. He was handsome, but not overly so and he smiled widely, but not as much as Mr. Bingley seemed to do.

Mr. Price was introduced and Mr. Gardiner explained how his friend, Sir Thomas Bertram had mentioned his nephew currently in Oxford who had a noticeable skill in numbers and figures. Mr. Gardiner had been impressed enough to ask to visit the man. When he learned the stories were truth beyond doubt, he had offered Mr. Price a job and training under him in his business. His sons were still young, and Mr. Gardiner could have use of an assistant and with time, a partner. Mr. Price had recently graduated and was traveling down to London with the Gardiners. He would have a room with them until he could find a suitable townhouse.

Kitty wanted to ask many questions, but held back. Her mother was already quite open with her curiosities, and her demands were causing discomfort to some of the more sensible in the room. Kitty did not want to look like her mother when the reactions were so negative. So instead she folded her hands as prettily as she could and sat straight and quiet, the itching in her mind ignored.

Mr. Price seemed respectful and proper, and answered all questions directed towards him with a comfortable openness that set everyone at ease.

The evening continued smoothly, if not stuffily. Elizabeth would smile at Kitty warmly when their eyes caught, and it gave Kitty the reassurance that she was not disappointing her. Kitty sat with her sister, Mary, although Mary was often moving about. Whenever there was a gathering, Mary liked to play if the opportunity arose. There were times that Kitty was sure that Mary was going to play regardless of opportunity. With the amount of young ladies with musical skill, Mary found herself waiting with an intensity as the other women had their turn at the pianoforte.

“What do you plan to play?” Kitty asked, desperate for any conversation.

“I have papers for Hasselmann's Fifth Overture,” Mary answered without engaging, her eyes trained on Georgiana as Miss. Bingley chose a song for her to play.

“I have heard you play that one,” Kitty said, cringing, “It is sadder song is it not?”

Mr. Price interrupted, “Oh, exceedingly devastating.” He stood beside them, having left his seat overlooking the card game with Mr. and Mrs. Hurst and Mr. and Mrs. Bingley. He gave a light bow at his interruption and Kitty nodded her head in return.

“It is very slow as well,” Kitty said. Mary turned to look at the two as Mr. Price sat down near them.

“It must be slow though, you see Hasselmann loves to build up emotions into large rolling crescendos of feelings,” Mr. Price explained. He moved his hands as he talked in such broad strokes it looked as if he were trying to paint his words into the air.

“I am not sure I heard much of a build up to anything when I have listened to the song,” Kitty shook her head, “Just sad notes that repeat until the composer had a cramp, one can only suppose.”

Mr. Price laughed, “I see you are a critic. You will find many of your kind in London I think.”

“You do not speak highly of these critics I do not think,” Kitty shook her head.

“You do not speak highly of Hasselmann,” Mr. Price said, and then turned to Mary, “You might find his Ode to June of interest. It is much deeper and more rich in its feelings, still sad I'm afraid.”

Mary seemed unable to find a response that she found adequate, and instead of answering, she stood up and made her way to the recently vacant pianoforte. Kitty and Mr. Price watched as Mary began her concert, and halfway through Mr. Price was called away by Mr. Gardiner for his assistance in aiding in the telling of a story.

With such a short meeting, Kitty decided that she liked Mr. Price exceedingly well, and that she was very complimented by his attention, however small.

The next day Kitty was interrupted on her way to the bench she now referred to as her and Georgiana's bench by Elizabeth.

“Good morning,” Elizabeth let out a laugh, “I had trouble finding you. You disappeared from the breakfast table with such suddenness that I wondered if you wanted to be unnoticed.”

Kitty did not know how to respond to that so she only answered, “Good morning, Lizzie.”

“Would you like to walk with me? The gardens are very nice and I fear I have yet to walk them completely. I always find a new path or bush that catches my interest, and I get so distracted,” Elizabeth said.

Kitty faltered, “I usually spend my mornings with my work. There is a seat, the light is good.”

With a start she realised that she had kept her friendship with Georgiana secret from her family. Her mind immediately pushed to wonder why. She was not ashamed of Georgiana, quite the opposite. Everyone loved Georgiana and no one would think Georgiana to be her lesser, the opposite was more likely to be an opinion people held. She had little to offer in such a relation.

She tried to think how her mother would react. Mrs. Bennet would see Miss Darcy as an insurmountable competition. Georgiana was pretty and sweet and accomplished and had a dowry that would serve her well and with ease. Kitty grimaced at the swirl of supposed slights and terrible things her mother might say of Miss Darcy if given the chance.

Kitty liked being Georgiana's friend and she liked the feeling of having that friendship to herself. It was something she hadn't had to share with her sisters. A feeling that she knew was silly and immature.

“I sit with Georgiana, I mean Miss Darcy!” Kitty blurted out suddenly.

“I had wondered if you two had a chance to speak a little,” Elizabeth smiled.

“She is my friend. We have said as much,” Kitty said. Her face felt hot and she felt dizzy with embarrassment. Was she a child who had to speak every thought that crossed her mind? Elizabeth didn't seem to mind, but her patience had always been admirable.

“Then, let's invite Miss Darcy along. She may know the secret ways about and know of points of interest to show us,” Elizabeth said.

They retrieved Georgiana, who was delighted to accompany them, and they resolved to spend all morning outdoors. The weather was clear and bright and suited the women well. Elizabeth and Georgiana got on very well, even if Georgiana treated Elizabeth with some hesitation. There was a reservedness there that Kitty had not seen before.

Kitty did not forget herself, and even though she wanted nothing more than to speak about Mr. Price, she kept her thoughts and wonders to herself.

The longer they spent outside, the more Georgiana became relaxed and happy. She would talk animatedly with the Bennet sisters about whichever topic they had found interesting. Her energy was young and no one was opposed to it.

Near the end of their travels, Elizabeth explained her hopes that Kitty would remain at Pemberley. Everyone in the party was most accepting of the idea and Elizabeth had all but promised it. There were people to inform and convince, but Elizabeth often had her way when her mind was set. Kitty and Georgiana shared a knowing look, but their replies were all surprise.

Kitty spent the day in a state of incurable unease. She could not focus on anything of interest. She knew in other rooms of the home her sister was convincing their father to relinquish his control of Kitty. She had no idea if Mr. Darcy had found her behavior acceptable enough. If any number of people thought ill of the plans they could all come crashing down.

Her nerves felt full of fire and worry and she could only ease them by pacing, but she didn't dare let herself do something that could easily be seen as unladylike. In fact everything action did Kitty a disservice in how she presented herself. She could find no actions that felt acceptable.

Kitty found herself sitting with her mother, trying to read a book that Kitty was certain was written by someone who very much did not want their words read. Her mother had acquired a number of pastries, but had fallen asleep on the couch with most untouched. Kitty herself was dozing off when a Gentleman entered the room.

She sat up with a start, terrified of being found in such a state by Mr. Darcy, but it was only Mr. Price in the doorway. He held a leather bound book of numbers that looked well used.

“Oh, it is only you,” Kitty sighed, her shoulders loosening some.

“I was not aware that I was so unwelcome, Miss,” Mr. Price said. He had a mischief about him that let all his words feel easy.

Kitty shook her head, “I did not mean any offence.”

“I find that hard to believe. How should I take your meaning? Did you hope for another to arrive through the door? Or perhaps, you find yourself so at ease with me that my presence does not draw forth a need to be so formal,” Mr. Price mused.

“I should be afforded some mystery don't you think?” Kitty smiled, despite the teasing.

“That is no good, I'm afraid. No good at all. For, I like mysteries too much to leave them be. If there is a puzzle I must solve it or I will know no peace,” Mr. Price said. He had made his way into the room and found a suitable seat.

Kitty scoffed at him, “You would say such things to a woman?”

“I would say such things to anyone,” Mr. Price said. He shrugged his shoulders slightly but a smile still played on his lips.

“I am truly shocked. To think you have the right to learn a woman's secrets. I cannot imagine a more ungentlemanly action. Even now you are in a room unaccompanied with a single woman,” Kitty said.

“I believe her mother is present, and that should be company enough. Should someone enter the room it would only give us a larger party to protect the woman's mysteries,” Mr. Price said. He had begun to look through the writing he had brought with him.

Kitty could not help but laugh, “Your view on good societal customs is sorely lacking, alarming even. I hope you have no sisters or they may be quite disadvantaged by your manners.”

“I have 4 sisters actually, and they are all quite fine, regardless of my influence. My eldest sister is married to a clergyman in Northamptonshire and they are expecting their first child next season.”

“That is a relief to hear. I hope you tell her I wish her congratulations and offer sympathies for her relations to a man who finds joy in teasing women.”

“I shall be sure to tell her exactly such.”

“Wait, you are not serious are you? I should die from humiliation to know that someone heard such rude things!”

“Am I not someone? Another mystery it seems.” Mr. Price mussed with a false curiosity.

“I am quite convinced now, Mr. Price, that you should never be satisfied,” Kitty said.

“Perhaps not, Miss Catherine, perhaps not.”

Chapter Text

Chapter Four: Familiarity and Friendship

Kitty had never spent time away from home without the companionship of one or both of her parents. Lydia had been given that opportunity before her older sister, and had in turn, nearly ruined it for Kitty.

Kitty could see the worry creased into her mother’s brow, but it did not last for long. Soon she was singing Elizabeth's praises and commending Mr. Darcy’s great generosity, as if Kitty was some terrible burden being lifted off her shoulders. Mr. Darcy had the grace enough to not voice his earlier concerns to the rest of the Bennet family, and Kitty could be thankful for that small kindness.

Mr. Bennett was mostly silent, allowing his wife to speak for him, but Kitty could see the concern written plainly on his face. What surprised Kitty was the distrust he let show. Her father did not trust Kitty to behave. She stood back to hide her emotions from her family.

“So, you will stay here,” Mary said to Kitty, and Kitty was not sure if her sister meant it as a question or statement.

“I will,” Kitty answered anyway.

“What fault do you find with Loungborne?” Mary asked, and Kitty could hardly hold the shock back.

“I find no fault with my home, Mary. I am going to stay to be a companion for Georgiana.” Kitty explained, casting a glance at Miss Darcy, who was sitting in the corner of the drawing room, pretending to read. The two had shared a few smiles that morning at Kitty’s notice that Georgiana did not make nearly enough page turns to be believable enough.

“There is merit in a young woman’s skill at occupying solitude,” Mary huffed, standing straighter.

“There is a loneliness there too,” Kitty said quietly, and with that Mary seemed to find a need to display her own merits by retiring to a seat across the room and opening a book of her own.

Kitty couldn’t help but feel a dash of guilt at leaving her sister to go home wholly alone, but reminded herself of Elisabeth’s promise of Mary getting a season at London of her own.

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“Kitty, this is such an opportunity for you. I scarcely ever dreamed you would find such fortune!” Mrs. Bennet exclaimed, embracing her daughter. The two stood near the carriage Mr. Darcy had arranged for Bennett's return. The others stood enough distance away, and Mary had already made her way inside the carriage, her focus still on her book.

“Yes, mama. I think I will enjoy spending time with Miss Darcy,” Kitty nodded, stepping awkwardly out of her mother’s grip.

“Oh, I do not mean that!” Mrs. Bennet said, “I am speaking of your extra time with Mr. Price!”

“Mr. Pri- Mama!” Kitty’s voice lowered, a red flaring across her cheeks, “I have no idea what you could mean. You are quite wrong if you think I have set some sights on Uncle’s protege,”

“It is such a fortunate turn of events indeed,” Mrs. Bennet continued, ignoring her daughter’s remarks entirely. She clasped her hands together and lowered her voice as well, “I should hope you mind yourself Kitty and win his heart quickly. I should think he will be thinking of you through Christmas indeed. I shall of course be inviting them to Longbourne and you must come as well! I should think a winter engagement is quite recommended. My engagement was in spring and it was such a muddy event as well. It rained throughout my entire engagement. You will see how lucky you are for my council indeed.”

Kitty could barely muster a response, “Mother please, I have hardly met the gentleman. I am not like Lydia. I do not make connections so quickly."

Mrs. Bennet looked over her daughter and Kitty wondered what she found lacking, "No, you are not Lydia. A shame I think. Good luck, my dear, I still know I shall be speaking of your engagement in time."

----

Kitty could not see the carriage off, and had made her way inside before the carriage had left the long drive in front of Pemberly. Her mood had been considerably soured by the negative reactions of her family. Only Mary’s feelings could be met with compassion, but even her reaction seemed to differ from her character and that alone was enough to vex Kitty.

Kitty had retired to the sitting room and was determined to make way for one of the dresses that Georgiana had officially gifted her. It was one of the easier dresses, a simple day dress of a pale brown with frayed trim and stains along the hem that Kitty thought may be from a walk that had been caught in the rain.

“I always thought a pink ribbon would have been much prettier than the black trim,” Georgiana stood above Kitty’s work smiling lightly.

“It would,” Kitty agreed, “I have only enough ribbon of white or a dark orange in my supplies, though so I suppose white will be fine.”

Georgiana sat at the other end of the long couch, sheets of music in her arms. She set them before her on the table and nodded briefly to the maid who offered to fetch tea before turning to Kitty again, “I think we may ask my brother for some new ribbons and threads. That is quite different from a new dress altogether!”

Kitty shook her head, “I do not want to ask for more when your brother has already been so generous.”

Georgiana was silent for a moment, and even with Kitty focused on the work in her lap she knew the other girl was looking at her. Kitty felt like she was being picked apart and it was a feeling she did not like much.

“He will not send you home to ask for something. He has agreed for you to stay and you are my guest now. We may wait until you are more settled to ask, if it leaves you with less stress. There is plenty of time to find materials for the dresses,” Georgiana said with enough earnesty that Kitty found herself smiling and nodding and even finding the prospect of pink trim exciting.

Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner and Mr. Price joined the girls soon after. Tea was soon brought as well as small sugar crusted tea cakes with raspberry preserves. Kitty took one, but found them too sweet for her. Mr. Price seemed to find them quite agreeable, enough to leave a brushing of sugar across his nose.

“It seems I forgot myself,” Mr. Price moved to clean his nose when he saw the smile and raised eyebrows of Kitty. His tone was apologetic, but his eyes betrayed his mirth.

Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner seemed to not take any offense towards the manners forgotten. They were never so strict as some, and it put Kitty at ease.

Kitty turned towards her work, “Pemberly cannot be considered miserly with its sweets.”

“Yes, I have found that everything is sweeter in the countryside. Perhaps there is too much excitement and business in the city that there is not enough time to reflect on the simpler pleasures,” Mr. Price nodded as if he had made some great discovery. A fact that Kitty found most incorrect.

“Mr. Price, I fear you have found yourself in a common misconception of the country,” Kitty shook her head.

Mr. Price smiled, “I should hope Miss Catherine that you may have the generosity to enlighten me on my blunder.”

Mr. Gardiner nodded his forgotten paper, “Yes, I would like you to put the man in his place my dear.”

Georgiana stood silently and made her way to the piano. She shuffled her papers a bit more in hand before deciding on one and adding a background of practice to their conversation. Kitty watched her go before turning back to the gentleman before her.

“The country is not full of us poor simple folk who can only delight in excess whether it be of dessert or what other judgment you can make upon us,” Kitty said.

“Miss Bennet, I assure you that my observations are of the highest flattery,” Mr. Price smiled.

Kitty nearly laughed, “To accuse us of excess and to be simple are meant to be compliments? I am sorry to have placed any doubts in your intentions.”

Her sarcasm was met with a laugh from Mr. Gardiner and a laugh and shake of her head from Mrs. Gardiner. There was a sense of pride at not being seen as rude to the others in the room, but Kitty couldn't help but wonder at how her family might see her, jesting with a man she had met but a few days ago. A man her mother was sure would become something more to her with time. The thought was enough to quiet Kitty’s good mood.

She could hardly explain how relaxed she felt with Mr. Price, or Georgianna for that matter. With Lydia there was always a rush, a challenge to be someone worth keeping a relation with. Lydia’s moods were fickle like their mother’s. She could be sweet one moment and cross the next and back again. There was a merit in knowing a person for most of your life. To be familiar with their mannerisms.

Kitty did not know Mr. Price’s feelings. Did he think she was clever? Or was he only holding back annoyance at her outbursts? Kitty wasn’t sure if her hesitence was due to his gender, or her mother’s words. She could only wait and see. He would only remain at Pemberly for a few days still before moving towards London with her aunt and uncle. If her impression was good, she would have to wait until December to know for certain.

“I shall take to heart know that simple pleasures are a topic to never breach with those who find their time in the country,” Mr. Price nodded solemnly, but there was a mischief in his eyes that he let show to Kitty.

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The men eventually were joined with the others and they set off for fishing, a trip that Mr. Gardiner was keen for. Elizabeth and Jane and Miss Bingly joined the other women and more tea was brought for them as well as additional tea cakes as the others had been coveted by another previously.

Georgiana came to join the group, her playing abandoned. She sat beside Kitty before Miss Bingly could request her presence beside herself. Miss Bingly did not look pleased, but she kept her thoughts to herself if she had any.

Kitty had decided the stains along the dress’s edge were not removable. She reasoned that if they had been, then the washes before would have removed it. Instead she took her embroidery hoop and attached it to the edges.

“Are you going to embroider the edges?” Georgiana asked.

“Is that one of the dresses that Miss Darcy has given you?” Jane asked.

“Yes and yes,” Kitty nodded to each.

Miss Bingly wrinkled her nose and remarked, “That dress should have been thrown away with the fraying and mess along the hem.”

Georgiana did not respond and instead kept her focus on the dress, “What sort of design will you do? I have seen your work, it is very good.”

“I am not sure, I figured something simple. I am not so good with design. Some stitching around the edge might hide the stain.” Kitty admitted. Her skills were not often praised. Elisabeth and Jane had been talented enough at embroidery. Kitty had enjoyed figuring the more complicated steps in pattern magazines, but had never been good at putting them to use.

“Well, I think that if you look right here,” Georgiana leaned in, trading her fingers around a curved edge of the stain, “It resembles a rose to me. Perhaps you could create a floral pattern and should think that no one would think the coloration to be anything but purposeful!”

“If you could draw it out on the fabric, I think I could embroider it,” Kitty said.

Georgiana quickly found a pencil in a stationary kit and the girls huddled around the fabric tracking on the edges of the dress and speaking quietly among themselves. Unfortunately it was not quiet enough.

“I am quite shocked, Elisabeth,” Miss Bingly admonished, “Do you really think such a large and burdensome craft is best done in a public setting with polite company?”

Kitty stood with a start, quickly gathering her supplies and her face flushing, “I’m sorry. I will clean this up.”

“I really do not think that it is quite so distracting,” Jane quietly said, but it was not her home and the new lady of the house was still too shocked at the outburst to respond.

“I will help,” Georgiana said, standing as well, the graphite still in her hand.

This seemed to give Miss Bingley pause. She looked between the girls gathering the sewing tools for a moment before speaking, "Georgiana, I'm sure Miss Bennet can collect her own things. Come sit beside me. I have much to talk with you about."

"I will help Ki- Miss Bennet. I can return after," Georgiana's voice was quiet but decisive.

Elizabeth came to her senses quick enough to steer the topic away from the matter at hand to safer waters of weather and walks, and Jane was more than happy to oblige.

Kitty could not do much more than collect her things and retire from the room, Georgiana following quickly after. They traveled through Pemberley in silence and only when they were in the relative safety of Kitty's room with the door fully shut that Georgiana spoke.

"We were in the room before any of them. To think she could tell you what you may or may not do to accommodate her sensitive sensibilities is unbelievable," Georgiana paced the room, her anger too great to be at ease standing still.

"I was taking up a lot of room. It was distracting," Kitty set the dress on her bed and turned to her friend. She wanted to calm Georgiana, but she also was touched at the strength of Georgiana's feelings.

"The room is quite large. She had an entire couch to herself! Was her hope to spread across the table to rest her feet between us?" Georgiana continued and only stopped her movements when Kitty came over to gently remove the sewing basket from her arms.

"It is no real trouble. We might find a space to continue the work later. Perhaps even when the Bingley's take their leave. Then we might not be interrupted or asked to quit," Kitty offered. She was used to calming Lydia or her mother when they became overcome with feeling.

To Kitty’s relief that was enough to calm Georgiana. The girl took a breath and smiled, "I will be quite pleased to spend afternoons working with you."

It was Kitty's turn to feel overwhelmed with feeling but she could not give her emotions names, "As will I. You are very kind to me."

Kitty turned away and put the basket away. She suddenly felt hesitant, like she had said too much, or perhaps too little. Could she express emotions she could not herself define? Wouldn't they come out as twisted as they felt?

"I think you are worth being kind to," Georgiana answered, and the girls let the rest of their thoughts, should they have them, remain unsaid.

Chapter Text

Chapter 5: Regard and Respect

Kitty Bennet had grown used to Lydia's help with her hair. She could not put it up in any way that suited her well. Kitty had the most curls of her sisters, but if she did not keep them nice, they liked to frizz about her face, losing all shape and style. She had finally bought the issue up to Elizabeth when her frustrations or curls could not be soothed. She had hoped her sister could help her, and she had, but not in a way that could ease Kitty's nerves.

Elizabeth had said she would send her maid to help Kitty with her hair after Elizabeth had gotten ready. The loan was greatly appreciated, but Kitty could not help but feel uneasy. She had only ever had her sisters or mother for help with such things. Their maids had been few and left to take care of household duties. She was unused to relying on the help of those who were paid for it. Surely they had other things they wished to accomplish, and the thought made Kitty feel a pang of guilt that she could not shake.

Elisabeth’s maid did indeed have other things she wanted to do. When Kitty thanked the woman for coming to her aid, the maid had said, “Of course miss, I am to be at my own breakfast after this.” which did not feel genuine to Kitty at all.

The maid was older than her and Elizabeth. Kitty guessed her to be 5 and 30 at least and she had been introduced as Mrs. Hooper so Kitty could guess she was married with a relative ease of certainty. She did not carry herself with the sadness of a widower and Kitty knew she had just enough sense to not voice her wonder.

Mrs. Hooper kept her hair pulled back clean and neat, but she also knew how to lay Kitty’s curls prettily around her face. Her skills were greater than Lydia’s self taught abilities, but Lydia had often said that Kitty’s hair was too thick to style properly anyway.

“I am going to town today,” Kitty said, hoping to ease the sharpness that seemed to have settled into the room.

“Yes, miss,” Mrs. Hooper answered almost curtly.

Kitty bit her lip to keep from saying more, but once the pain became too much she tried again, “I am going with Miss Darcy and Miss Bingley and my elder sisters,” and when Mrs. Hooper did not answer, Kitty continued, “I hope to find some ribbon. Mr. Darcy has been so kind to me and has given me funds to purchase some materials for my dresses. I am going to find a pink ribbon because Miss Darcy has said that it will look very nice on the brown day dress I have. I also hope to find a white or perhaps a light blue. I really think blue can go with most light colors. Miss Darcy’s eyes are blue as well. Mrs. Hooper do you have a favorite ribbon color?”

“I do not. This will take more time if you continue to speak,” Mrs. Hooper said.

“I’m sorry,” Kitty said softly, and remained silent and still even when her hair was pulled a bit too sharply.

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On her way to breakfast, Kitty’s heart sunk sharply when she passed the servant’s quarters and saw the finished breakfast dishes being pulled from it. She had kept Mrs. Hooper from her meal, no wonder she had been cross with Kitty’s attempts at conversation.

Breakfast was still on the table when she came in to sit down. Mr. Darcy was speaking to Mr. Gardiner about business about Derbyshire he had need to take care of today. He spoke simply, but without malice or any degree of rudeness as he went through the morning mail and drank a cup of dark coffee. Mr. Gardiner seemed to be interested in riding through the country and he and Mr. Price and Mr. Bingley were given the opportunity to join Mr. Darcy.

Elizabeth was extending the invitation into town to Mrs. Gardiner, but she had a letter she wished to write and send before they made their leave to London later in the week.

Jane and Miss Bingley were discussing the trip as well, but were interrupted by Jane greeting her sister warmly. The men at the table rose when they saw Kitty, and she made her way to the table quickly to not force the men to stand for her sake too long.

Kitty sat beside her aunt. She wished to sit beside Georgianna, and she felt disheartened by the way her friend’s face face fell when she did not sit next to her, but Miss Bingely seemed to be in better moods when Kitty did not sit near Georgiana, and Kitty did not want to cause an tensions so early in the day, especially when they were all to spend so much time together today. Miss. Bingley did not give Kitty more than a glance, and Kitty counted that as a success.

“Your hair looks beautiful today,” Georgiana said, her disappointment forgotten. Kitty smiled towards Elizabeth in thanks, and her sister smiled into her tea, but did not say anything.

“Thank you, Miss Darcy. Your hair always looks very nice,” Kitty was careful to treat Georgiana with respect among the others, but tried to sound as genuine as she truly felt.

“I do have to say, Georgiana,” Miss Bingely cut in, “You might have the best colored hair in all of England.”

Georgianna laughed, embarrassed, “I cannot say that is true.”

“Well, I can. Everyone is envious of how pale and gold your hair is. Most cannot be so lucky. It is a quite desired thing for a young lady. I should think that Men are more suited for dark hair, and woman light,” Miss Bingley continued.

There was a pause among the table. Mr. Darcy did not look up from his newspaper, so Kitty could not tell if he took offense to such a statement, with his own wife sporting hair just a few shades lighter than his own. Mr. Price moved to touch his own hair but quickly made the move to eat his breakfast instead. His hair was brown but a soft and light color, so unlike Kitty’s shiny dark hair.

Georgina seemed to shrink in her seat an inch, “Thank you, Miss Bingley.” her thanks not seeming genuine.

If Miss Binbgley took notice of Georgiana's tone she made no mood to comment on it, only happily returning to her conversations with Jane. Kitty looked over towards Georgina, but the other girl was too focused on her meal to see her mood well enough. Kitty hoped Mrs. Hooper’s breakfast was at least a bit more successful than her own.

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When breakfast was finished and the men made their leave to the stables and Mrs. Gardiner was secured in the small parlor, the rest of the woman gathered at the entrance.

Jane and Miss Bingley sported new spencers that looked to be made from the same spring green fabric but Jane’s was trimmed in a darker green ribbon and Miss Bingley’s had embroidered thin white lines among the front and back creating a pattern of small diamonds. Elizabeth had her old spencer of brown and black that was not yet a year old and looked quite nice, though not as fine as the other women’s. Kitty herself had had a nice orange Spencer that she had liked very much and had matched her bonnet with it’s pink and orange trim, but Lydia had taken it with her on her last visit to Longbourne. All she had left was a terribly old cape that had once been either Jane’s or Mary’s and was nearly too long for Kitty. It’s color had once been a bright deep red, but had faded with wash and age. It was still red, but not nearly as striking as Kitty had suspected it had once been. For now she was thankful it was not lined so thickly, but she knew come the london season, she would wish the opposite.

When Georgiana emerged last, Kitty’s silent complaints were all but forgotten. Georgiana had a cloak of her own, one of a deep pink color with embellishment at the neck and shoulders. She smiled brightly when she saw Kitty and bounded over to her, nearly forgetting herself as she grasped the edges of Kitt’s cloak.

“Kitty! We both chose cloaks today,” Georgiana exclaimed happily.

“Well, I did not so much as choose it, as I am only wearing the outwear I have,” Kitty said, a smile creeping on her face anyways.

“I love red cloaks. I always saw girls in London wearing red cloaks. I would look through my window and watch them,” Georgiana leaned closer and lowered her voice, “Cloaks and bonnets are good for whispering secrets.”

“Well, if I think of a secret I will make use of our clothing to tell you,” Kitty whispered back.

Georgiana grabbed Kitty’s hand and linked her pinky in her own, “Promise?” She asked, completely serious, with a furrowed brown.

Kitty laughed, “I promise.”

Their attentions were shifted when the carriage came into view. Kitty’s mood dipped and she looked to Elizabeth and asked, “Are we not walking to Lambton?”

Miss Bingley laughed, her gloved hand covering her mouth, as if embarrassed, although the party knew her well enough to know her not to be, “Walk to Lambton? And arrive well exhausted and have no way to carry our purchases.”

Kitt looked away and instead looked at the cloudless sky and the soft rustle of trees around the property, “I am used to walking, I did not think the distance too far. The weather is just so nice today.”

“Yes, I often forget your family had only one carriage to spare,” Miss Bingley nodded as she made her way into the carriage. Kitty felt foolish for even speaking. The other women entered the carriage and it was clear it would be a tight fit with five women.

Miss Bingley suddenly spoke as Kitty neared the carriage, “If you enjoy walks so much, perhaps you may meet us in Lambton after your exercise. It might give us enough room to be comfortable. It would be a great kindness.”

Kitty’s mouth fell open at the slight. She knew she could not refuse, she was the one who had expressed the desire to walk without prompting. She would look petty if she would refuse.

Kitty took a step back and smiled as sweetly as she could manage, “I will be glad for the walk, Miss Bingley. I will be happy to meet you all there. The country is very beautiful here and I would be remiss to forgo a chance to enjoy it.”

“You don’t need to if you don’t wish,” Elizabeth said, shooting a sharp look towards Miss Bingley. This was her carriage now and Elizabeth was learning to avail oneself the position that her marriage had afforded her.

“No, I am happy to walk, truely,” Kitty held up her hands and shook her head to convince her sister. While she felt excluded and slighted, the idea of cramping herself into the carriage with the others and most likely more of Miss Bingley’s quips was not a sweeter thought.

Her assurances seemed to calm the furrowed brow of Elizabeth and the wide upset eyes of Jane. Georgiana's eyes only narrowed and she quickly climbed from the carriage.

“I think walking is a wonderful idea,” Georgiana said brightly.

“What?” Miss Bingley’s voice came out with a breath of shocked air, “Miss Darcy, you may ruin your skirt, surely you would prefer the comfort a carriage can offer you.

Georgiana closed the carriage door decidedly and said, “I am quite sure the roads are dry. I shall walk.”

Kitty could see a hint of a smile one Elizabeth’s lips and shock on Miss Bingley that looked like it could take over her entire countenance.

The girls watched at the carriage made it’s way down the road ahead of them. Kitty turned to Georgiana and tried to think of what she wanted to say. To tell her she had not needed to sacrifice her own comfort? To thank her for the act of kindness that the others would not have done? To tell her she liked her company exceedingly well and that she was thankful that it had been Georgiana she could spend her day with? All felt like she would be saying too much, and too little all at once. So instead she only smiled toward Georgiana and hoped her feelings were clear and evident even when they were not clear enough for herself.

Georgiana smiled back,” Shall we go?”

They both continued for the first quarter hour in silence. The greenery around Pemberley was very lovely. Kitty was again thankful for the walk. With Georgiana she was not so alone and could properly enjoy herself. She glanced at her friend and was overcome with the need to speak.

“Georgiana, why do you smile so largely when we are alone?” Kitty asked.

Georgiana let her small fall, “Do I look silly?”

“No, not at all,” Kitty shook her head, “You have a very nice smile. I only wonder why you hide it with company?”

“Perhaps Mrs. Darcy would call me shy? I believe she has before. When the crowds grow, I find it so much easier to be quieter and softer. It is well received,” Georgiana answered.

“I like your smile,” Kitty said again, “and I like your anger and excitement as well.”

“My anger? How could anyone like such a thing?” Georgiana asked, her eyes wide.

Kitty shrugged, “I have seen anger in others, my sisters, my parents. It is sometimes frightening, too much rage, wanting to be directed at a person. That sort of anger I am not fond of. I don’t wish for anyone’s ire to be directed towards me.”

Georgiana nodded solemnly and Kitty took her hand and continued, “But, Georgiana, your anger is always so warranted and controlled. You let yourself feel so freely when you are away from others. You are so righteous and always good in your anger,” Kitty seemed to faulther, flustered at her sudden outburst, “I am not afraid of your anger,” she finally said.

Georgiana turned away, her other hand over her her mouth and Kitty pulled her own hand away from Georgiana’s. Kitty decided to focus on the sennery around them, her cheeks cooling in the autumn breezes.

“I am sometimes so surprised by what you have to say,” Georgiana finally said, “You always make me so pleased.”

“I think I speak my mind too much,” Kitty countered, her face still warm.

“I think you speak your mind a splendid amount,” Georgiana said assuredly.

Kitty could not respond in anyway she found satisfactory, so she continued her walking.

Eventually Georgiana pointed to the letter tucked in Kitty’s pocket, “Are you mailing a letter today? Why didn’t you leave it at Pemberly?

Kitty paused, “I did not want my sister or your brother to know I was mailing a letter.”

“They would surely see no issue with you mailing a letter. I have seen you write to your mother without issue,” Georgiana said.

“It is for Lydia,” Kitty admitted.

“Your sister,” Georgiana breathed. Kitty could not tell Georgiana’s feelings from such a small sentence.

“I know Elizabeth would not be pleased. I know that they see Lydia as some terrible influence, but she is still my sister,” Kitty said.

“Of course,” Georgiana said quietly, “She is very dear to you. Of course you should be able to write to her.”

“Will you not mention it to your brother? If he asks I won't ask you to lie, but I should like to avoid his poor opinions if I am able,” Kitty asked.

“I will keep your secret,” Georgiana said firmly, and Kitty felt a relief wash over her.

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Kitty and Georgiana had a walk that they both enjoyed immensely. The air was cool enough and the sun warm enough that it created a nice balance between the two. Georgiana knew all of the land between Pemberly and Lambton and would relate as such to Kitty.

Kitty guessed that she and Georgiana had arrived in town only three quarters of an hour later than the rest of their party and met with them quite easily in the local tailory shop.

Miss Bingley quickly called Georgiana over and was all pleasantries and smiles towards her. She had found a fabric with a delicate white lace pattern and wanted to share it with Georgiana. Kitty could find no fault in it and knew she had her own materials to find.

Kitty had surveyed the dresses she was going to fix and had managed to figure a list of the materials she might need. She had brought the list to Elizabeth who had then let Kitty share it with Mr. Darcy. He did not show it, but Elizabeth had said that he had been much pleased with the care that Kitty was showing and was comfortable letting the allowances fall on Elizabeth’s decisions. Elizabeth had given Kitty a limit of how much she may spend for her alterations for now. It was more than Kitty could have hoped for and Elizabeth had even said that she may have more should she have a good need.

There were enough ribbons to keep Kitty busy for many days if she should wish to live in the shop, and Kitty half wished she could. She wondered what it might be like to own a tailory of her own, and it was a pretty dream. She knew as a woman the most she could achieve was to marry a tailor and that would not be such a great match. It was one her mother would surely bemoan.

“Have you seen these yet?” Georgiana showed Kitty a selection of velvet ribbons that were too fine and priced much too high for their worth. Miss Bingley smirked from a distance at the two, and Kitty wondered what she was playing at.

“They are beautiful,” Kitty agreed, “I am looking at these for the day dress.” Kitty showed Georgiana a collection of satin spools. There were a few pinks in the mix.

“Oh, I should think they will work perfectly!” Georginana exclaimed, “You have an eye for such things. I am jealous. Sometimes I fear that I cannot tell which fabrics work the best. I can only imagine the color and style.”

“You are very skilled in design,” Kitty nodded. She wished to say more, but Miss. Bingley called from across the shop.

“Come and see these new fabrics that have come from London, Georgiana dear. I can always tell when fabrics have arrived from London,” Miss Bingley held up a muslin of a deep green. Kitty wished to see it closer, but she had not been invited. Georgiana made her way over, and Kitty turned back to the ribbons.

“Have you found what you need?” Jane asked softly as she looked over Kitty’s shoulder.

“I think so,” Kitty said and then added quietly, “I don’t know what I have done to vex Miss Bingley so, but I would like to fix it if I could.”

Jane was quiet for a touch longer than Kitty felt at ease with, “Miss Bingley is not cross at you, I am sure. She only wishes to spend time with Miss Darcy while she is here still. We leave for Loungbourn in a few days and we will not see each other until December.”

“I have tried to be courteous towards her. It is not fair to be so cold towards me,” Kitty insisted.

“Miss Bingley has always had her own way of thinking of the world. She is not trying to cause you harm,” Jane said. Kitty could see the distress of her sister’s face, and she did not want to be the cause of it. She thanked Jane and smiled and Jane smiled back, her shoulders reacting.

Kitty watched Miss. Bingley and Georgiana from a distance. Her friendship with Georgiana was new and exciting, and she could see how her appearance would have disappointed Miss. Bingley. She wanted to give the two time together before they were separated. Perhaps that would soften Miss. Bingley’s feelings towards Kitty.

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The party spent a good time in Lambton, enjoying the chance to visit shops and see people. Elizabeth spent a good deal of her time introducing herself as the new mistress of Pemberley. Everyone was curious to see the woman who had earned Mr. Darcy’s affections and they were all quite pleased with Elizabeth.

Kitty had managed to sneak away to give her letter to the post while the rest had visited a bakery that had set out a beautiful wedding cake. Kitty was a little disappointed to miss it, but had been thankful for the distraction nonetheless.

When Kitty returned, Jane presented her will a small ribbon wrapped box with candied nuts inside, “For you,” Jane insisted, “They have just begun making them for fall.”

Kitty had thanked her sister, but didn’t mention how Lydia had been the one to prefer sweets. She had no reason to think Jane had confused her with Lydia. Most enjoyed sweet things. It had been a kind gesture and Kitty should be thankful for the gift, and she was.

Kitty left her purchases on the carriage and was ready to walk back to Pemberley. She had asked Miss Bingley to join her and Georgiana on the walk back. She did not know how to ask Georgiana to ride on the carriage without hurting her feelings, and she half expected Georgiana to refuse. She hoped that Miss Bingley would accept the offer to walk with Georginana and that Kitty could walk behind them to give them a chance to talk. Her plans were dashed quickly.

“I should not enjoy the work of walking. I’m sure you find the need for exercise, but I take my walks in the morning, something I do not see you do. I think the carriage is much more suitable for me,” Miss Bingley answered. Kitty saw no reason to press the issue.

Georgiana seemed to simmer at Miss Bingley’s words, but Kitty could not find herself to care at the slight. She had made every opportunity for Miss Bingley to simply tolerate her. She tried to give Miss Bingley room, she moved to understand Miss Bingley’s reasons, she only spoke politely. Still her efforts did not lift Miss Bingley’s sour spirits. Kitty could only admit she had done all that was expected of her and to let it go.

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The next morning Kitty sat in her chair with a nervous anticipation. She set her candied nuts as well as two apples that she had cut into wedges with a borrowed knife onto the dresser in front of her. Kitty fidgeted with the sleeve of her dress and bit at her lip as she waited for the maid.

Mrs. Hooper knocked and entered Kitty’s room with an impatience that was clear to read from her face.

“Good morning,” Kitty said with too forced of a brightness.

“Morning Miss,” Mrs. Hooper replied, not even trying to mirror Kitty’s inflection.

Kitty took a breath and continued anyway, “I know that helping me is an extra duty that makes your day more difficult. I was wondering because of that, that you might teach me to do my hair?”

That seemed to bring some shock to Mrs. Hooper’s face, “I beg your pardon, Miss?”

“I am unused to doing my hair myself. My sisters used to help me. If I knew how to keep my curls under control, I would not need to bother you for aid on most days. I don't want to keep you from breakfast with the other servants. So, if you would be willing to teach me, it might be helpful for us both,” Kitty said. She glanced at Mrs. Hooper hopefully.

Mrs. Hooper looked almost remorseful, “I should not have been so harsh with you Miss Bennet. You are a guest of the house and I allowed my impatience cloud my manners.”

“Oh no!” Kitty insisted, “I understand how you must feel being late for breakfast. I would be frustrated if I had to do the same. I also have some fruit, it is only apples, but they are in season and I would be very pleased if you had some with me,” Kitty reached and opened the box of candied nuts as well, “My sister, Jane.. Mrs. Bingley, gave me these nuts from town yesterday, but I am not very fond of sweet foods and have noone to regift them to as Miss Darcy has her own box. As a thank you for your help, perhaps you might like them. Or you may share them?”

Kitty took a deep breath, realizing she had not given herself pause. She watched the older woman, searching her face for a reaction. She wanted Mrs. Hooper to feel seen and considered, because she was. Kitty had no desire to be a burden.

Mrs. Hooper stood a bit straighter, “Well, Miss, shall we begin your lesson then?” and Kitty could feel her tension unwind.

Chapter Text

Chapter 6: Connection and Company

Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner and their companion, Mr. Price, were finally to continue their journey to London, and all were sad to see them leave. Even Miss Bingley was unable to diminish the good company the Gardiners could bring to a drawing room or dining table. Without her sister, Mrs. Hurst, and her brother in law, Mr. Hurst, to keep her company, she had been forced to let herself be enveloped in the company of those she may had considered beneath her before. It had been agreed that the Bingley’s would travel with the Gardiners nearly all the way to London on their way to {home}. The entire household had gathered in the courtyard to see them off. The morning air biting as the sun still made work of the low fog.

“I shall be so very glad to see you in London this season,” Mrs. Gardiner said to Kitty.

Kitty’s cold hands found each other underneath her shawl, “If I might be perfectly honest, I am fairly nervous of the entire venture. This is my first time outside of my home, I cannot imagine what London will be like,” Kitty admitted.

Mrs. Gardiner shook her head and smiled warmly, “I believe it will be a grand adventure. You have matured handsomely in this last year and your temperance has greatly improved.”

“Thank you,” Kitty said, even if she could not see the improvements herself.

“You will also have your sisters to join you. Elizabeth and Mary and even Jane I believe. It will be a merry party indeed. And even some friends as well. There will be little want for company I am sure,” Mrs. Gardiner’s eyes twinkled as she glanced across the courtyard. Kitty’s eyes followed to see Mr. Gardiner and Mr. Price standing near Georgiana. Georgiana’s eye met Kitty and she smiled, her cheeks pink from the chilled air.

“Yes, we will all be together won’t we,” Kitty smiled and allowed her aunt to give her a quick hug before joining Jane to help with the separations of luggage.

Kitty made her way towards Georgina who had a thick white shawl over her day dress. When Kitty reached her friend, Georgiana pulled Kitty’s hands to hers.

“You are so cold!” Georgiana exclaimed.

“Only my hands,” Kitty countered. Her cheeks felt warm enough.

“It is indeed a good day for travel, although a most sad one,” Mr. Price gave a quick bow and an even quicker smile that managed to reach his eyes all the same.

"Not sad enough to tempt one to remain though I'm sure," Kitty return the bow with a nod of her own and a small smile.

"If we could," Mr. Gardiner said, "I would extend our stay and happily fish all the trout to be found on Pemberly. There is always an end to a visit I'm afraid, and a good guest knows when their time to leave is overdue. I should hope we may find ourselves in the same party again quicker than later."

"In London," Kitty answered.

"In london," Mr. Gardiner smiled before he was called away. Mr. Price made no move to leave the company. Georgiana's lips had formed a thin line and Kitty gave her hands a gentle squeeze which was returned and Georgiana's shoulders relaxed some.

"I know we may often jest," Mr. Price began warmly.

Kitty held her head high, "I do not jest," she protested, but her easy grin betrayed her instantly.

Mr. Price smiled and continued, "Of course, my deepest apologies. I am only trying to compliment the good company you have been to me, both of you."

"We have had little conversation, I did not know you thought my company was worth such praise," Georgiana suddenly said. Kitty glanced at her. Georgiana's eyes were bright and wide with innocence, but her mouth was tight and her grip unrelenting.

Mr. Price did not seem to notice Georgiana's masked temperment, "Miss Darcy, I am truly saddened that our time together was brief and wanting, but you have been only the most courteous of hosts and I will certainly hold fast in my compliments and only refrain from giving you more for fear you will not accept them."

Kitty thought his response to be very good and gentlemanly and hoped that Georgiana may think so as well. But Georgiana only gave him the lightest of curtsies and said, "I hope that your journey is quick and safe, Mr. Price."

Mr. Price’s smile did not waver, "I shall hope for the same as well, and if I may, I shall hope to find your aquatencies in London come the season."

"Or sooner still, should you find yourself accompanying my aunt and uncle in law for Christmas to Netherfield," Mr. Bingley said warmly, walking up to the party with Jane at his arm.

"It has already been decided that you will both shall come stay with us during the holidays," Jane said to Kitty and Georgiana, "Elizabeth too, while Mr. Darcy takes care of business in London."

"I do hope another ball with be to your liking, Miss Kitty," Mr. Bingley added and Kitty could not hide her smile.

"I should love that so very much," Kitty managed to say with enough composure to be satisfactory. She looked at Georgiana who seemed excited as well, if not a touch nervous. This would be one of Georgiana's first balls if not her first. Kitty smiled at her, they would be together so she shouldn't be worried. Her thoughts of reassurance seemed to reach Georgina and her nervousness left her with a light giggle.

"There shall be more than enough time that I should very much hope for the both of your help in planning," Mr. Bingley continued.

Kitty could not help but gasp, "Do you really mean so? That would be wonderful! I have always wanted to plan a party! I would be so very happy to help."

[Their home] had been a host to a few dinner parties and even a couple luncheons and get together while Kitty grew up. But, her mother or her elder sisters had always done the planning necessary. It had always been interesting to Kitty, the work involved to keep home, but Lydia could not sit still long enough to give Kitty leave to join them in planning. And they never called only for Kitty.

"We are looking forward to seeing you both in a few month's time," Jane told them and Kitty could not agree more.

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The sadness in seeing her family off was dulled considerably by the excitement of planning a ball at Netherfield. The date may be far off, but the excitement was still fresh, spreading to Kitty’s fingertips as they tapped atop the book she was supposed to be reading. The day had warmed markedly with the sun, and Kitty and Georgiana had been persuaded easily to bring their reading to the garden. They had set a blanket out on the grass beside one of the great oaks that dotted the greens and its shade was welcome. Georgina sat quietly with another blanket warming her lap, but Kitty found herself too warm to be covered, even her cloak seemed too much for the weather and her mood.

Feeling like she may burst, Kitty shut her book and turned towards Georgiana, "A ball at Netherfield, and we may help plan it! Oh, I am unsure if I have ever been so excited. I know it is a time away, but it is all I can think of. I don't know how I could ever be expected to be calm enough to read!"

Georgiana giggled and looked up from her own reading, "it would seem so. You've scarcely finished a page since we sat down a half hour ago. I've never been to a ball. There were some held at Pemberley, when I was very little, but I only really remember watching the carriages come and the loud music and merriment."

"Balls and dances are the most entertaining thing I can possibly think of," Kitty set her book aside and scooted closer to Georgiana, "There is food and music and some people like to play cards, but the most enjoyable of all is the dancing. If the amount of gentlemen and women is good and even it is easy to fill up your dance card for the entire night if you'd like."

"I hardly think many would be interested in dancing with me as I've little practice," Georgiana said. She slid a finger into her book to hold her page but let it sit closed on her lap.

"Oh, you certainly will have no problems with that. You're likely to be the most handsome girl at the ball," Kitty said, and then faltered slightly at the shocked expression on Georgiana's face, "I don't mean to insult my sisters or Miss Bingley for they are all very pretty. I only mean that you have probably the prettiest face I've yet to see."

Georgiana turned her head away from Kitty and the rest of her nearly followed. Kitty bit her lip and waited a moment for Georgiana to speak, and then she waited another moment for good measure.

Finally the silence became too much for her, "I've said something wrong haven't I?" Kitty sighed, "I'm sorry."

"No!" Georgiana exclaimed and then turned back to look out at the garden, "I apologize. Sometimes you say the kindest things and I get too overwhelmed to respond."

"Surely you have heard similar things from your brother or Miss Bingley. My sister speaks so very highly of you as well," Kitty said.

"It's different," she insisted.

"How so?" Kitty furrowed her brow. Sometimes she felt foolish for not understanding what she felt like she ought.

Georgiana seemed hesitant to answer, still looking out across the field toward the treeline. Finally she gave a small shrug and said, "Because we are friends."

They sat in silence for some time afterwards and Kitty managed to read another page despite her thoughts threatening to distract her yet again. She could not help but feel she had messed up once again. Whenever Lydia had been cross with Kitty she had always made her ill mood known regardless of the situation. There had been times that Kitty had misspoke and Lydia had reprimanded her in front of company. At least then Kitty knew what she had done to upset her sister. Now Kitty could not understand why Georgiana did not look at her for only saying a compliment. The silence did not feel comfortable and Kitty could not help wanting to end it.

"Do you think that my aunt and uncle will bring Mr. Price in time for the ball?" Kitty asked.

Georgiana's demeanor changed at once. Her mouth turned down and her shoulders tensed, "I cannot think of a reason as to why it would matter either way to me."

"What?" Kitty let out a surprised laugh, "I am certain he will make a very good dance partner and if nothing else he is good company. The more gentlemen the better since we can only dance no more than twice with one."

"I fear that I have not found his company to be as good as you give him credit for. You are much too nice," Georgiana said, her shoulders still rigid.

"If he has slighted you in any way I am very sorry. I don't want to praise anyone who has treated you poorly. I only can say that from my experiences, Mr. Price has been courteous and well mannered and everything a man of his station ought to be," Kitty said.

"He has not been courteous to you!" Georgiana started and then softened some in her disposition, "He teases you as if he knows you well. It is unbecoming of him."

"Unbecoming?" Kitty remarked, her eyes widening. She had never had similar feelings towards her interactions with Mr. Price. Was this how Georgiana saw the two of them, as an embarrassment in manners?

"He treats you too casually. And he treats others the same, I'm sure. He must, for I cannot see him acting this way with only you. At least that judgment of character I will allow him, even if it does him little justice," Georgiana continued.

"Your judgement is harsh," Kitty breathed. She was used to her mother’s careless tongue and Lydia's sharper one, but the words Georgiana had been just barely holding at bay surprised her.

"I think you judgement ought to be sharper. You let Mr. Price get away with much more than he should have been allowed. I am surprised my brother or Elizabeth didn't comment on it," Georgiana said.

Kitty felt a spell of dizziness come over her, even though she remained seated. She wanted to jump to her feet, but thought better of it and stood slowly, her novel clutched to her chest a bit too tightly.

"I think I may be getting a headache," Kitty said, even though the words were true, they felt false on her tongue.

Georgiana stood as well, "Oh? Should we head inside?"

Kitty shook her head, "No, I don't want to interrupt your reading. I've been enough of a distraction anyway. I can return alone. I think I need to lie down for a time."

Kitty didn't wait for a response, and turned towards the home and away from Georgiana.

Kitty spent the rest of the day in her room. First she thought she may only stay for a short while, just enough to calm her thoughts, but they only continued to tangle in her mind with each passing minute. The idea of rejoining the others seemed too great a challenge in the end.

Kitty still felt shocked by Georgiana's remarks and her entire demeanor around Mr. Price. To have such an ill opinion after such a short visit made Kitty worry if Georgiana's opinion of her was as soured. Did Georgiana believe Kitty to have been too casual as well?

Kitty paced her room. It felt too big now that Mary was gone. She reconsidered the conversations she had had with Mr. Price. They had all seemed friendly to her, but never overly so.

Kitty swallowed. There had been the time when they had been nearly alone while her mother had napped. They were perhaps too close then. They had only just met and still joked and teased. Mr. Price had an easy countenance that made Kitty feel like she needn't put up any front with him.

Had her mother heard their conversation that day? Had she only pretended to nap? She had seemed excited about the prospect of Mr. Price falling for her, but the thought only made Kitty laugh.

If her mother knew of their conversation she may have mentioned it to others, convinced it meant something that it did not. Kitty sobered at the thought. She could imagine her mother all too well claiming outlandish things about Kitty and Mr. Price. If Georgiana overheard such things it would be only fair for her opinions to darken.

Kitty tried to distract herself, but her room offered little amusement. She eventually settled on writing letters when her legs tired from pacing. One for her mother, as she would be cross to be excluded and another for Mary. Kitty was unsure if Mary would want to receive a letter, but something in her sister’s face when she left made her want to reach out. She only wrote of the nice things she had done and seen and left out Mr. Price entirely. She told her mother of the town and Mary of what books she had read, even if she had yet to finish them.

The letters took up scarcely an hour of time and Kitty had started to grow hungry. She didn't want to ask Georgiana what she thought of her yet, so she remained in her room, ignoring the sounds of dinner coming in through her window.

When the sky had begun to darken and Kitty had nearly forgotten her hunger there was a knock at her door. She sat up straight with a start, having before nearly dozed off above her covers.

"Kitty are you awake?" Through the door came Elizabeth's voice with another soft knock.

"I am," Kitty answered dumbly before adding, "You may come in."

Elizabeth opened the door and stepped inside. She wore dinner clothes and had a shawl loosely around her shoulders. Kitty thought she looked very pretty in the light of the setting sun and very much looked like she belonged here at Pemberley.

"I was worried when I heard that you fell ill so quickly," Elizabeth said. She made her way over to the bed and sat beside Kitty, placing the back of her hand lightly on Kitty's forehead.

"It is only a headache," Kitty said quietly, but let her sister check for signs of fever, "Maybe it was the changing weather today."

"There has been a lot of change today." Elizabeth mused. She pulled her hand away and did not seem distraught with her findings. Which didn't surprise Kitty as she was far from sick.

Elizabeth smoothed a wrinkle on the bed, "It is a big adjustment, moving to Pemberley. The grounds are large and it can feel empty quite quickly."

Kitty wasn't sure if Elizabeth was talking about herself or Kitty so she answered in kind, "It is a lot of responsibility."

"It most certainly is. More is expected of us," Elizabeth agreed.

"Us," Kitty repeated quietly looking down, "I'm unsure if I can meet those expectations."

Kitty felt an arm wrap around her shoulder, "You needn't worry much. I already believe you are doing a very good job. You can enjoy your time here, I should hope you've found it less dull than home has been.”
“Very much so,” Kitty insisted, “I like it here exceedingly well, that may be the problem. I will miss it here terribly if I need to leave.”

“That will not happen. You don’t need to hide away and fret,” Elizabeth said.

“I am not hiding,” Kitty felt her argument falter as she said it. She may have kept her arguments with Georgiana to herself, but her sister had been right in her observation. Kitty was hiding, at least from Georgiana.

“I think my headache will be better tomorrow,” Kitty said, giving her sister what she hoped was a reassuring smile.

Elizabeth smiled back, “I shall hope to see you at breakfast then.”

—---------------------------------------------------------------

Kitty spent her night hungry, but less unsure of herself. If Georgiana had decided that Mr. Price was too brash and his manners lacking that was her own opinion on the matter and it did not make it fact. And, additionally, if Georgiana thought less of Kitty for the relation there was nothing Kitty could do to change that. Mr. Price was gone for the time being and even if he was not, Kitty didn’t see her actions wanting.

In the morning as Kitty was readying herself, as Mrs. Hooper had taught her enough to not need her help on regular days, there came a knock at her door. When she answered it she was shocked to see Georgiana standing in front of her with her dress wrinkled and her hair down.

“Georgiana,” Kitty said quietly, unsure of what to even say. Georgiana’s hair was fine and light and framed her face before cascading over her shoulder. It reminded Kitty of the gold thread she used to embroider with. She wondered what Georgiana would look like with a darker dress, maybe a rich sapphire that would stand out against her pale skin and light hair.

“Kitty?” Georgiana repeated.

Kitty shook her head, “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“I only said that I’m sorry to come so early, but I couldn’t wait any longer. I wanted to come last night, I thought I might even, but I would feel terrible if I woke you,” Georgiana said.

“Come here to my room? For what reason? And what of your hair?” Kitty stammered.

Georgiana touched her hair sheepishly, “I sent my maid away early. I couldn't wait any longer to apologize to you.”

Kitty had more questions but sighed and shook her head, “Well, you may as well come in, your maid won’t want to miss her own breakfast so maybe I can fix your hair. Your brother will surely scold you if you come to breakfast like that.”

Kitty took Georgiana’s hand and led her inside her room. Georgiana bit her lip, but didn’t argue. Kitty led her to the dresser and mirror and sat her down.

“Now what did you want to say? I’m sure it is better to talk in here than the hallway anyway,” Kitty said. Her words felt confident as she said them, but her hands were all nerves as she took her brush softly to Georgiana’s hair.

“I’m so sorry for how I behaved and all that I said to you. You must utterly hate me,” Georgiana said. She wrung her hands together as she spoke, her words quick and emotional.

“Hate you?” Kitty shook her head, “I thought I was me who was hated.”

“Why would I hate you!? I do not hate you at all, Kitty,” Georgiana exclaimed.

Kitty hesitated, “I believed that if you thought so poorly of Mr. Price’s actions then you must think the same as me because I was the second party in those interactions.”

“I could never!” Georgiana tried to shake her head, but stopped when she remembered her position and calmed some, “In truth I do not think badly of Mr. Price, not nearly as much as I made it seem yesterday. In truth I was jealous of Mr. Price.”

“Jealous of Mr. Price? Whatever for?” Kitty began to pull Georgiana’s hair back.

“You and Mr. Price got along so well and so quickly. You were able to joke with each other and be friendly, and I worried that maybe we were not as good of friends as I believed or hoped us to be. But, that is not excuse for how I tried to mar Mr. Price’s character. It was unfair to him. He has been nothing but kind to me and I turned around and spoke ill of him,” Georgina said.

Kitty almost laughed, “I was worried that you wouldn’t want to be friends with me if I was friends with Mr. Price.”

“No,” Georgiana said adamantly, “you should be able to be friends with whomever you like. I don’t want to stop you from having friends.”

Kitty was quiet for a minute, letting the relief wash over her. She finished fixing Georgiana’s hair. Georgiana did not have any natural curl to her hair. Her hair was smooth and bright and did not tangle or frizz and went into a bun disappointingly fast.

“It’s different, you know,” Kitty said finally.

Georgiana turned to face her, “What do you mean?”

“Mr. Price and I and you and I are different. I’m friendly with Mr. Price, but we are not friends. At least, not like you and I are friends,” Kitty said. Georgiana turned away, but Kitty could see her smile in the reflection of the mirror.

“Would you like to go down for breakfast together?” Kitty asked.

“I would like that very much,” Georgiana answered.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7- Role and Responsibility

There was a routine to Pemberley and for Kitty this was no exception. And while she may miss the energy and action of Longbourne, there was a comfort in knowing where one ought to be at any given time.

The mornings before breakfast were the only time that belonged to Kitty. So long as she arrived at breakfast in a timely manner she could spend the rest of her time as she pleased. Once she finished getting ready for the day, Kitty would take time to write letters. It was easier than trying to find time around the others and let her write to Lydia as well. Lydia had written once to Kitty since she had arrived at Pemberley, but it had been brief and full of surprise and questions about Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy’s marriage. Lydia had addressed the letters using her mother’s name and hand, a skill that impressed Kitty that she was thankful for as well. She wasn't sure how much Mr. Darcy or her sister would like that she was continuing her correspondence with Lydia. Kitty wasn't sure how much Mr. Darcy knew of Lydia's marriage, but he knew enough to disapprove of Lydia. So, Kitty found it much safer to write her letters away from the gaze of the others.

If she had time, Kitty would also work on her dresses. She could spread them out on her bed and seat and not get in the way of anyone else. Some of the larger hems and mending were easier to sew when she had the room for it. The brown day dress needed only embroidery to finish it. Another lighter day dress needed only for a few tears to be mended and it’s hem to be brought up to make it the appropriate height for kitty. The pretty peach dress had a large tear through the front of the skirt, but Georgiana had been the one to suggest it be split and another skirt be sewn underneath. The women agreed that it would look better than simply sewing the gash, and Elizabeth had taken on the task of getting suitable fabric in a cream or white for the project. Kitty was embroidering white french knots on the bodice ribbon. They looked like tiny roses and she planned to add green leaves as well, so long as it didn’t look silly. She had one last dress, a white simple evening dress that didn’t need any mending, but was fairly plain. Kitty was unsure if she would do anything to it, so it sat out of the way for now.

Kitty still had the dresses she had brought with her, two day dresses and the nicest dress that Lydia had left her, a light green dress with a dark green ribbon that she had worn to the wedding. Now with the other dresses she felt she had an acceptable wardrobe. It felt good to have a project. The progress helped make her feel accomplished, even when she felt lacking in other areas.

Eventually it would be time to go down to breakfast. Mr. Darcy seemed to enjoy an earlier breakfast than most, and the women were in good enough spirits and temperaments to oblige him. Breakfast with Mr. Darcy was a nervous affair for Kitty. She still felt like an outsider when around him. He was quiet, and Kitty could hardly tell what he was thinking.

With Elizabeth and Georgiana, conversation felt easy and natural. The two were always friendly and in good spirits. Georgiana had taken care to make her words kind and generous, especially when speaking of others, and her care did not go unnoticed by Kitty.

After breakfast Mr. Darcy went to deal with various affairs about his property. Some days he went out and other days he stayed in his office, but either way that would be the last that Kitty saw if him for the morning, and sometimes the afternoon as well.

Elizabeth would spend her morning receiving guests. It seemed everyone in Derbyshire wished to come and visit with the newlywed and give their congratulations. She was now mistress of Pemberley and with it came obligation.

Kitty and Georgiana would spend their morning in a second sitting room, giving privacy to Elizabeth and her guests. They would occupy their time with reading and practicing their arts. Both were too old for a governess, but Georgiana still received a piano lesson once a week, even if Kitty thought her skill was already impressive enough.

Spending so much time with Georgiana was pleasant on its own, but it made it difficult not to compare herself to Georgiana. Georgiana had learned different lessons and read different books. Her skills in languages were very impressive and her knowledge of history was comprehensive.

Kitty tried to read the same books on philosophy and history that Georgiana said she had read, but they were difficult to get through and frustratingly dull. Kitty struggled to make it partway in any of them. She couldn't help feeling lesser than Georgiana, as if something was missing in herself that made her not as competent or accomplished.

One morning Georgiana had brought out watercolors that her uncle had sent her and they had set up a still life of a bowl of apricots draped with a shawl and some bottles standing around it. Kitty found the paints to be messy and inexact. They bled past her pencils creating muddied colors and pools of paint that smudged when touched again.

Georgiana’s painting was light and precise. Her fruits looked real and her bottles even had a transparency about them. Kitty was sure to compliment her and Georgiana smiled prettily and turned away, but took the compliments all the same. Kitty did not share her painting.

The only skill that Kitty did with more grace than Georgiana was her embroidery, but even that was just passable. It was nothing compared to Georgiana’s greatest gift, her skill on the piano.

Kitty would sit in on Georgiana’s lessons, with expressed permission of course. Kitty could not help but be mesmerized by the performances. Georgiana’s teacher was very good, but Georgiana had a sort of lightness to her playing. Her fingers looked more like they were dancing instead of following a practiced pattern. Kitty would find herself staring far more than she would care to admit.

After the lessons Georgiana would sometimes show Kitty what she learned, but Kitty could barely keep up with some songs. It wasn’t too difficult to memorize the pattern of where her fingers should go, but it never sounded quite right to Kitty, it never sounded like how Georgiana would play.

In the afternoons there was less structure. Some days Elizabeth would be busy with her duties as lady of the house, and Kitty would only see her at meals. Other days Elizabeth would find the girls and they would walk to town or explore the grounds or sit and work on Kitty’s dresses.

Elizabeth and Georgiana got along extremely well. They were always kind to each other and conversation came easy between them. Kitty was thankful for that, and she silently encouraged their relationship. But, there was another feeling as well, a nagging feeling that Kitty couldn’t name. An uneasiness that grew when she saw how out of place she looked beside them. She tried to push it away, but it bubbled to the surface anyway.

It was a few weeks into her stay when Kitty ran into Elizabeth sitting on her and Georgiana's bench crying. Kitty had stepped out of the sitting room to retrieve her embroidery hoop from her room. She gripped the wooden hoop a bit too tightly and she stepped into Elizabeth's view.

"Oh," Elizabeth exclaimed, quickly wiping at her face, "I didn't realize you were there, Kitty."

"I needed my embroidery hoop," Kitty said dumbly, holding up her hoop even though it was in plain view.

Elizabeth tried to smile, "I see. Are you working on your dresses? Which one today?"

"Why are you crying?" Kitty blurted out, "did something happen? Are you ok?" It was only then that Kitty saw the letter crumbling in Elizabeth's hand. Kitty sat beside her sister and steeled herself against being reprimanded for overstepping, but a resistance did not come. If anything, Elizabeth seemed to welcome the company even as she tried to dry her tears.

"I received a letter from Lady Catherine de Bourgh," Elizabeth said after a moment of silence, "It was exceedingly kind of her to include a letter for me as well as to Mr. Darcy." She said it in such a way that Kitty could tell that her sister did not find it any sort of kind. Kitty had only met Lady Catherine once, when she had called on Longbourne to speak with Elizabeth before she had gotten engaged. Most of her knowledge came from the boasting of her cousin, Mr. Collins, and she did not look favorably on anything he might boast about. From her quick meeting, Kitty had found Lady Catherine to be uptight and haughty.

"What did it say?" Kitty asked quietly.

Elizabeth opened the letter again and smoothed the edges against her skirt, "Elizabeth Bennet," she read and Kitty could not help but intrude so quickly.

"Does she not know you are married! If she knew where to send the letter I cannot see how she would not know," Kitty shook her head.

Elizabeth gave a light smile and continued, " I am quite shocked to be forced to recieve word of your marriage to my nephew through correspondence other than your own. It shows a complete lack of character, something I so clearly saw when we last spoke and should not be surprised at."

Elizabeth shook her head and added herself, "I am not her direct relation. The correspondence she is referring to is either of Colonel Fitzwilliam or Mr. Darcy himself, I am unsure which letter reached her first. It is hardly a slight."

"And she says she is both shocked and not surprised in the very same line," Kitty added.

Elizabeth continued, " It was the most unfortunate news indeed to hear how you tricked Mr. Darcy into such an inferior connection. I have never been so upset by a nuptials as this one. When we met you made it clear you saw the differences in station between the two of you, and still you chose to ignore my counsel and wed anyway. It is clear from your actions you are a silly, entitled girl with no respect for your betters."

"Enough," Kitty interrupted, and then again softer, "that's enough. You shouldn't need to reread that awful letter anymore. I can see how upset it makes you."

Elizabeth looked at Kitty with surprise for a short moment, "I didn't realize I was being so obvious."

"Not so obvious," Kitty admitted, "but a letter like that would make me very distressed. I wouldn't know whether to be mad or sad."

"Or laugh at the absurdity of it," Elizabeth smiled.

"Truthfully, I am mostly angry for you. I don't care about anyone’s birth or status, it is no excuse for terrible manners and poor behavior. No amount of position can excuse it I think," Kitty said as if she was sure of herself. She thought of Georgiana, and her righteous anger. She tried to sit a bit straighter in her seat.

"You do speak truthfully. I did not expect that speech from you, Kitty," Elizabeth said. They sat in silence as Kitty tried to decide if her sister had meant her words as a compliment or a criticism.

Finally Elizabeth spoke, "Sometimes, I find myself wondering if I am good enough to be the mistress of Pemberley. Everyone has been very kind here, but I worry their good graces may wear thin with time."

"You are good enough," Kitty insisted quietly. She felt a sudden wave of uncertainty in her feelings. She knew Elizabeth was a good mistress, she had seen it herself. But, her feelings felt so similar to her sister's she wondered how reliable her own sensitivities were.

"The people who matter know your worth," Elizabeth said eventually, "Thank you, Kitty."

Kitty felt like she had done little to comfort her sister, but accepted the hug anyway when it was offered.

With hoop in hand and her head in knots Kitty made her back to the sitting room that she had left Georgiana in. When she returned Georgiana jumped to her feet, grinning.

"I've been waiting for you, Kitty. found a piece I've never played before," she began eagerly, showing the sheet music in question, "but it requires two players. Will you practice with me?"

Kitty smiled, her insecurities washing away, "I would love to."

Chapter Text

Chapter 8: Secrets and Secrecy

Lydia was using stationary that was unlike her mother’s. Elizabeth had been the one to point out that their mother’s letters looked different when she wrote to Kitty. All Kitty had been able to do was laugh and tuck the letter away, hoping for the subject to be forgotten sooner rather than later. Kitty had told Lydia as much in her most recent letter and even sent some coin for her to purchase the sort of paper her mother uses, but it seems Lydia did not heed Kitty’s instructions. Kitty could only hide the letter away and resolve to read it in private.

That morning Elizabeth seemed in excellent spirits and even more so as the day went on. Kitty didn't yet know the cause, but was thankful for it because it distracted her enough from Lydia's letter. Even Georgiana made a note of Elizabeth's good cheer saying that she was so very cheerful today, but Elizabeth only smiled broadly and said that it was a secret.

That secret did not last long. The reason for Elizabeth's mirth came out when they were all together again for dinner. Dinner with Mr. Darcy used to frighten Kitty a bit. It at least made her nervous, but not anymore. Mr. Darcy still made her a bit uneasy, but over the month since her family had left she had settled into the routines and rules of Pemberley.

Kitty felt a peace settle over herself and Georgiana and Elizabeth. Elizabeth had grown more confident in her role as Mrs. Darcy and Kitty had learned to live with her insecurities and they even seemed to soften over time. Georgiana and Elizabeth did not find her lacking too greatly, although she was unsure about Mr. Darcy’s opinions. He was always so quiet with her, only engaging in enough conversation to give his manners credit. He was polite and had never scolded or reprimanded Kitty, but he also had never yet had a need to. Kitty did her best to be worthy in his eyes as Georgiana’s companion, but if he approved he had never outright said so.

"I have been thinking," Elizabeth began with a smile. There was a pause in a conversation between Georgiana and Mr. Darcy to give their attention.

Elizabeth began again, "I have been thinking. We leave for Netherfield in a fortnight for the holidays and then to London."

Mr. Darcy nodded, "We do indeed. Is the plan to change?"

"Oh no no," Elizabeth shook her head, "I only thought before we leave we may visit the Lambton assembly rooms. There is a ball being held before we are to leave and I think it would be a good opportunity for the girls to go to something smaller before London."

Kitty bit her lip to keep from gasping in excitement. It had been nearly six months now since she had been permitted to participate in any dancing. She glanced first at Georgiana and then at Mr. Darcy and then back at her plate. Georgiana met her gaze but only raised her eyes to show her surprise. Kitty wondered if the idea of a ball made Georgiana nervous. Mr. Darcy was even harder to read. He seemed serious, but he always seemed serious.

"I am not sure," Mr. Darcy began but was cut off by Elizabeth.

"Miss Darcy has not been out yet. Would it not be a gentler method to allow her to experience a ball in a more casual setting such as a country assembly room?" Elizabeth said.

Mr. Darcy turned to his sister, "And what opinions do you have on the matter, Georgiana? Is this something that interests you? A Lambton ball?"

Georgiana looked at Mr. Darcy and then away again, "I… do not know the dances yet," she said.

"I can teach you," Kitty said and shrank back when everyone turned her direction, "I only mean… if you would like, Miss Darcy, I can teach you the dances if you want me to. You learn so quickly that it won't be any trouble at all."

Georgiana gave a small smile, "If you do not mind teaching me, I would very much like to learn," she said and then turned back to her brother, "I admit I am a bit nervous, but if you all would accompany me, I think I would enjoy the ball. If my first dance is to be at Netherfield I worry I may not have enough practice with the dances to feel comfortable not to make a mistake. At least at Lambton, if I make a misstep there will be less people to watch me."

"I don't believe anyone should care if you make a mistake," Elizabeth said.

Kitty added, "we can practice everyday if you would like and then you may feel confident enough in your skill."

Mr. Darcy was quiet. Kitty could not tell what he was thinking. He seemed to hide his emotions well. To be fair though, Kitty had always had trouble discerning what men were feeling. Women were much easier to read, their faces were expressive and more open. She could only clasp her hands together under the table and wait for him to say his thoughts out loud.

"It would be better to bring Georgiana out to a smaller and less severe society," Mr. Darcy finally said. The women around the table brightened and Kitty was careful to keep her composure although her smile was the widest of them all.

The rest of the evening passed quickly with Kitty and Georgiana beginning their practice that very night. Elizabeth played for them, giving advice when she thought of it and Mr. Darcy did not seem to mind the merriment and song. Georgiana's brow furrowed as she concentrated on the lesson, and Kitty thought her a very fine dancer in spite of her claims otherwise.

When they all retired for the night, Kitty did not sleep. She instead took hold of her letter and waited for the light to go out in Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth's room. With her room in the wing of the house she knew that the candle light would be visible from her window and Elizabeth might come to check on why she was up so late. Her plan was to wait for the others to fall asleep before lighting her candle and going down to the kitchens so she might read her letter from Lydia in peace.

The hallways of Pemberley did not creak as they did at Longbourn. The floors were well maintained and shone a flickering orange from her candle. Long shadows cast around Kitty making her shiver and pull her shawl protectively around her. The paintings looked ominous and dark, and Kitty did not like the ones of people for they seemed almost to watch her as she crept along.

The main kitchen was a large room with tall windows and a wooden topped table in the center and a large set of brick ovens against the outermost wall. Multiple doors led off to the dining rooms as well as pantries and a door that opened to the kitchen's garden. What Kitty had not expected to see was the room was already lit with a lone candle having been set beside the other occupant of the room.

"Georgiana!" Kitty exclaimed in a whisper, "I did not think to find you here in the middle of the night!"

Georgiana was in her sleep clothes and a shawl that looked so thick that Kitty wondered if it was a blanket. Her hair was down and pulled over one of her shoulders. She had on only socks. Kitty knew she must look similar with her hair pulled into a loose braid to avoid tangles and her simple nightgown. She had at least taken the time to put on her slippers before venturing down to the kitchen.

Georgiana looked embarrassed at first but quickly shrugged it off and whispered, "I sometimes cannot sleep and when I was younger my mother used to brew me lavender tea to help. Now I brew it myself. I know my brother would want me to fetch a maid, but I don't want to wake anyone else. I didn't wake you did I, Kitty?"

"No, I came down here to read a letter," Kitty admitted.

"A letter? Oh! Is it from your sister, Lydia?" Georgiana asked.

"Yes I did not want to risk reading it in front of the others," Kitty pulled the letter out to show Georgiana.

Georgiana set a small pot on one of the stove ranges. Instead of lighting the main fireplace, she opened the compartment underneath the range and filled it with loose firewood. Kitty watched her with interest. There was something intimate about the act. Georgiana's fingers worked deftly and lightly collecting tinder together and lighting it with a match. She blew lightly as light spilled out around her, making the edges of her hair appear to glow. There was something mesmerizing about the simple task and Kitty did not shake out of it until Georgiana stood again and turned to face her.

"What has Lydia written?" Georgiana asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Would you like to read it with me?" Kitty offered.

"Would that be alright? I don't mean to pry into your personal correspondence," Georgiana hesitated.

Kitty only smiled and spread out the letter before her on the center table and smoothed out the creases, "I don't mind at all, really. If it's you, it's ok. You will not judge me too harshly for writing to my sister still."

"I would never!" Georgiana insisted. She made her way to Kitty’s side of the table, bringing her candle with her to offer extra light. The moon shone through the tall windows making it easy to see, but it was still too dim for reading.

"I think it is completely proper to send letters to family," Georgiana added. She stood close to Kitty, moving her candle over.

"My family seem to think Lydia is a bad influence on me," Kitty said, shrugging her shoulders slightly, as if it did not bother her.

"Does your family think you cannot think for yourself?" Georgiana said and Kitty did not answer. There was truth in her family's convictions about her, at least somewhat. She did let Lydia influence her. They talked of what Lydia wanted and did what Lydia fancied and even when Elizabeth and Jane tried to calm them, they ignored them. Kitty had sometimes felt ashamed of their actions, but Lydia had never cared, so Litty had tried to do the same. It had been fun and that was all Lydia had cared about.

"Shall I read it outloud?" Kitty finally asked. Georgiana nodded and they were so close their arms were almost touching. Kitty swallowed.

"Dear Kitty, I have been having a wonderful time. I am never bored or idle. There are balls every fortnight and I am always dining with officers and there is only joy and laughter. I wish you could see it, but if you did I am sure you would be so jealous that you could hardly contain yourself and probably cry yourself silly." Kitty paused, her face flushing.

"She probably is exaggerating," Georgiana said helpfully.

Kitty smiled, "Yes, she does that a lot. I think she believes that I am lacking in company. I have told her how content I am, but I wouldn't mind to go dancing more." She looked back down at the letter and continued, "The ladies of Newcastle are quite dull I'm afraid. They don't like gossip or take jokes nearly as well as you do. If you could visit I would be rid of them entirely. If you did visit I could introduce you to all of the officers and plenty of them are single and tolerably handsome. I have been speaking to them alone to see which might be a good husband for you. I think a Mr. X is a handsome man, but I dare not say his name until I may be sure he is right for you. They are all unbearable flirts, but it is quite alright since they all know I am so happily married and dear Wickham and I are very much in love."

Kitty bit her lip, "I don't think it is good that Lydia is talking with unmarried men alone. I certainly didn't ask her to do so. I am not interested in gentlemen that I have not met."

"What about gentlemen you have met?" Georgiana asked.

Kitty furrowed her brow and tried to understand the question, finally just responding with, "I have not met very many gentlemen."

The answer seemed to satisfy Georgiana and Kitty continued with the letter, "it is quite fortunate that you will be going to London and with Mr. Darcy paying your way even. It must be nice to be so very rich. I believe that I would have been invited should I have not married, but I have already been to London and find it a terrible bore. Do you believe that Mr. Darcy might help you should you find a husband during the season? If he does you may be able to send some of the money to me as it is only fair to share the dowry among your sisters and Elizabeth and Jane must be quite rich now and will not need it. And Mary will likely never marry."

Kitty let a small gasp slip and pushed the letter away, "I am sorry for the words my sister has written and I am sorry to have spoken them outloud," she said to Georgiana.

"I believe sincerely that sometimes people you care about and trust do not always behave in ways they ought, but that should not reflect on your character so wholly," Georgiana said, touching Kitty's shoulder gently.

Georgiana pulled back and turned away, going back to her heating water. She removed the pot and pulled out a copper kettle and began to brew her tea. Kitty moved her shoulder, the feeling of Georgiana's touch seemed to linger.

"Is there more to the letter?" Georgiana asked.

"Not really, just mentions of needing a new gown for a ball and needing to end the letter to go into town," Kitty said, skimming over the rest of the letter.

"I am unsure if I will ever leave the shadows of my sisters," Kitty admitted quietly after some time. Georgiana poured them both a cup of tea and the smell of lavender filled the empty room.

Georgiana handed Kitty her cup, "I'm sorry there isn't cream, you usually take your tea with cream," she said.

"It's fine, really," Kitty took the cup and wrapped her hands around it, taking in the warmth. Georgiana came to stand beside her again.

"I feel the same way," Georgiana said, adding sugar to her tea, "My brother is such a well respected and good man, truly, but, I often feel as if people only know me as his sister and nothing more."

"I know who you are," Kitty said earnestly.

Georgiana looked at Kitty, searching for something. She looked poised to speak and Kitty waited for it, but the words never came. Whatever Georgiana had wanted to say she had decided against it. Instead she only smiled and thanked Kitty and they finished their tea in the calm darkness.

Chapter Text

Chapter 9: Revelry and Restraint

Colonel Fitzwilliam was an excellent dancer and made a good partner for Georgiana to practice with. He had come down to visit and had the design to travel with them to Netherfield and then go with Mr. Darcy to London. Mr. Darcy would spend some time in London for business and to make sure his townhouse would be ready for the ladies. He had promised to be back for Mr. Bingley's ball and Kitty had found that Mr. Darcy rarely said things he did not mean.

Colonel Fitzwilliam was kind and well spoken and paid attentions to all of the women equally and Kitty liked him very much. He had been more than amiable when asked to help practice with Georgiana

Kitty had taught Georgiana most of the country dances she knew and let her know she could walk through any she did not remember. Kitty would walk along with Georgiana and show her where to step or how to place her hand. Georgiana seemed easily flustered during their lessons, but Kitty guessed it was due to being so close to a man, even if it was her cousin and her senior.

"I think you dance quite well," Mr. Darcy told Georgiana the evening before the ball. He had sat near Elizabeth while she played so the rest could practice, "You have had a good teacher."

Kitty blushed at the compliment and was quick to add, "Miss Darcy is a very quick learner. I should not have been able to learn half as fast."

"I think my dear cousin will impress the entirety of Lampton with her skill," Colonel Fitzwilliam added with a smile.

Georgiana covered her face with her hands, "Please stop, I cannot handle such praise, especially when it is wholly undeserved. I do not want the compliments."

"I compliment you often," Kitty said softly, "Should I stop?"

"No, it is different when you do it," Georgiana shook her head.

Colonel Fitzwilliam chuckled, "Now Georgiana you must explain to the rest of us why we are barred from giving you praise, but Miss Bennet is the exception."

"I..," Georgiana stammered.

"Oh, do not tease her," Elizabeth said.

"I am not teasing. I only wonder what Miss Bennet did to gain such a position," Colonel Fitzwilliam insisted. Kitty could tell he was all good humor, but Georgiana's face had gone a deep pink and she was hunching her shoulders down, making herself smaller.

"We are friends," Kitty answered for Georgiana.

"There, cousin," Mr. Darcy said, "I find that to be a more than adequate response. A good friend is given many passes that even family may be excluded from."

Twice that night, Mr. Darcy made Kitty blush at his comments. She felt a swell of what she thought must be pride at the words. To be considered a good friend to Georgiana, by Mr. Darcy of all people was high praise indeed. Kitty stood a bit straighter and let a small smile show through. Georgiana smiled back at Kitty, thankful for her help.

They practiced another hour until they all retired for the night and Kitty tried to sleep despite her excitement. This would be Georgiana's first ball, and Kitty's first ball in quite some time. Her nerves would not rest, but her excitement made them all the more manageable.

—-------------------

Mrs. Hooper took extra time with Kitty’s hair that next evening. Curling it beautifully and piling it atop her head. She took a cream colored ribbon and weaved it through Kitty’s hair, pinning it away underneath near the nape of her neck. She applied rouge with the lightest touch, just barely reddening Kitty’s cheeks and applied a lip pomade of the same color that smelled of rose oil. Kitty loved dressing up, and balls allowed her a good opportunity to indulge in that joy.

Kitty wore her newly mended peach dress with the split skirt with cream fabric underneath. The cream fabric had a rose pattern throughout it in the faintest color change that would show in the changing light. Kitty had loved the fabric so much that she had almost refused the gift of it from Elizabeth when she had produced it. It was too fine to be within her budget. Elizabeth encouraged her to take the fabric and Kitty had not needed much prodding to agree.

The peach sash was finished with embroidery of small white roses and even smaller french knots and a delicate green border of leaves. Georgiana had been the one to suggest only a border of leaves and Kitty was thankful that she had. Any more leaves and it could have looked too busy. The fine lace that covered the sleeves and bodice was Kitty’s favorite part. This had become Kitty's favorite dress. She knew Lydia would have laughed at that. To love a hand me down gown that someone else had discarded would have been funny to Lydia. But, Kitty knew that Lydia might have laughed, but would have asked for the dress in nearly the same breath.

Kitty quickly put on her nice slippers and a simple necklace with a green ribbon and her gloves and thanked Mrs. Hooper twice again for her help. She hurried down to the drawing room, expecting to be the last to arrive, but was pleased to see not everyone was waiting for her. Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam stood when she entered and they both looked very fine with Colonel Fitzwilliam especially so in his regimentals. Elizabeth came into the room nearly as soon as the men had found their seats again. She wore a white dress with a yellow trim that Kitty had never seen before. She suspected it might be new and it looked very nice.

“I like your dress very much,” Kitty told her.

“It is nothing compared to yours, stand up so I may see all the work you have done,” Elizabeth said, and Kitty stood up and turned around so that her sister might see the dress in its entirety. She tried to keep her composure, but her grin gave away her love of her own gown.

“It’s beautiful,” Elizabeth confirmed and Kitty thanked her and the compliments the men also gave. Kitty was about to sit down again when Georgiana walked through the door.

Georgiana had a pink dress with delicate white stripes running down its length. White ribbons tied at the ends of her puffed sleeves and a thick white satin band tied around her raised waist. Kitty had not seen Georgiana's hair with curl in it before but the hair pulled back near the nape of her neck had been curled. Her bangs were pulled to the side and hung over her ears. She smiled at Kitty and her checked were red, but Kitty couldn't tell if it was from rouge or complection.

"You look lovely," Mr. Darcy told his sister as he stood to greet her. Kitty took a step out of his way and looked down and away to compose herself. she was silent as the others complimented Georgiana and her gown. Georgiana took the compliments with grace, but it was clear they made her more flustered than pleased. After some time the carriages were made ready and the party took their leave for the Lambton assembly hall.

Georgiana and Kitty rode with Colonel Fitzwilliam while Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy took another carriage. Sitting next to Georgiana, Kitty finally mustered enough courage to lean over and whisper to her, "You look very beautiful."

Georgiana turned away for a moment before turning back and whispering, "I thought the exact thing of you when I saw you in the drawing room."

Kitty felt her face grow warm and she glanced at Colonel Fitzwilliam, but he was looking out the window. She turned back to Georgiana and whispered, "Tonight I may be tested by the others to see if I am a good companion to you. So, if I seem to be reserved in any way please know that that is the reason. I don't want to give your brother any reason to see that I remain home while you leave for London."

"Of course," Georgiana nodded, "But you have been nothing but model in your temperament and behavior that I can't see you disappointing anyone tonight, but know that I will not ask you to act out nor would I ever expect it of you."

Kitty whispered a thanks and they rode in a quiet nervousness for some time before Kitty found the silence to be too thick and she sought to break it, "Colonel Fitzwilliam," she began, gaining the gentleman's attention, "Have you ever been to the Lambton assembly rooms? What are they like? Do you think they will be any different than the ones in Meryton?"

"I think they will not be too different, Miss Bennet. I really would not be shocked if they were quite the same. You two should enjoy yourselves and not worry so much about it," Colonel Fitzwilliam told them. Kitty blushed, wondering if Colonel Fitzwilliam had heard their whispering, but would not ask him if he had.

—------------------------------------

The Lambton assembly hall was bright with warm light spilling out onto the cobblestone road every time the doors were opened for a guest to enter. Music flowered through open windows into the unseasonably warm fall night. Kitty's hand found Georgiana's as she squeezed it with excitement.

Colonel Fitzwilliam helped the two girls out of the carriage and they met with Elizabeth and Mr Darcy as they ventured inside. The interior was even warmer and louder than Kitty expected, but it immediately reminded her of the assemblies at home and she felt at ease. She let herself be carried by the activity, still careful to keep close to her companions. She was thankful that the Darcys were all so tall or she might have lost them all.

They picked up their dance cards and met with the master of ceremonies, a small plump man with a kind face who was exceedingly excited to see the Darcys attending his ball. He personally showed them to the dance hall and introduced Kitty and Georgiana to partners for the first dance. Kitty was grateful for his assistance because she did not know anyone excepting her party. Elizabeth had met some of the gentlemen of the area and assured her there would be enough introductions to keep the both of them with partners for the night.

Kitty kept close to Georgiana for the first two dances, spending more of her focus on her friend instead of her partners. She wanted to be sure Georgiana was comfortable enough to remember the dances she had been taught. Georgiana seemed cautious at first, her eyes on her feet, but halfway through the first dance she caught Kitty’s gaze and smiled widely back.

Soon Kitty felt comfortable enough to let herself enjoy herself. She had always loved dancing, it had been the very best part of any ball. Lydia had liked the gossiping and the excuse to flirt with gentlemen. Kitty would not deny that she enjoyed listening to her own fair share of gossip, but she was never much one for flirting. It always seemed too forward and sometimes too crass, at least in what she had watched of Lydia's banter. Dancing was the greatest joy Kitty could find in a ball or party.

The activity in itself was pleasant, but the real delight came from the company of her partners. There was a certain pleasure in being able to converse with someone else and have all of their attentions.

Her first partners were hardly noticeable and her attentions had been elsewhere anyway. All of her partners for the first part of the ball were amiable and attending and Kitty had a very good time with them. A Mr. Morton had spent their dance telling Kitty any pun he could recall and he seemed to have an expansive list that left Kitty breathless with giggles. Mr. Slade was by far her most serious and subdued partner, but he had a good knowledge on the foliage of the area and Kitty found it more interesting than trifling.

As the night went on, Kitty and Georgiana found themselves each with a much treasured glass of lemonade and a softly upholstered bench to themselves. Elizabeth was sitting among acquaintances within full view. She smiled at the girls and gave them a soft nod to let them know they may sit by themselves for the time.

"It is very bright and light and warm," Georgiana said after drinking much of her drink.

Kitty only sipped hers, knowing to conserve it or she might make herself sick by drinking too fast, "Yes it is," she agreed.

"I like it exceedingly well," Georgiana giggled and then added, "I like the dancing as well, even though I forget nearly half of the steps."

"You dance prettily," Kitty insisted. Georgiana did not turn away to hide her smile, but instead looked into her glass and giggled. She seemed lighter and more open. All her nervousness and shyness had disappeared and she was all mirth.

"How did you like your partners?" Kitty asked.

Georgiana shook her head and shrugged lightly, "I hardly remember them except for feet to avoid stepping on and arms to take."

Kitty nodded, "they were all polite and agreeable, but none were very notable, excepting a few."

"Excepting none," Georgiana giggled and her laugh was easy to join with Kitty’s own.

"Surely the gentlemen in London will be more memorable. You must allow for that," Kitty said.

"I don't really know," Georgiana admitted, "I can't even see a point in remembering every gentleman who happens to be introduced."

Kitty laughed at that, "Well I think marriage might be a good reason for it. A man introduced might end up becoming the one who you marry one day."

"I certainly do not think so," Georgiana laughed.

"Why not? Are these men so below you that it might never be a possibility that you might fall in love with one of them if given the opportunity?" Kitty asked teasingly.

Georgiana was quick to respond, "I should never fall in love with any man here or anywhere else. I should much rather marry a woman than a man anyway."

Kitty’s confusion only grew as she watched Georgiana immediately stiffen and sober as her own words settled over them. Kitty wanted to ask for clarification, but she wasn't sure how to go about it. It was as if something had broken between them, some fragile truce that Kitty hadn't known of.

"What..?" Kitty began, but trailed off when the words dissolved on her tongue.

Georgiana tried to laugh, but it was too forced to sound natural, "I only mean… what I had meant was just… I'm not myself," she stammered, but any attempt at convincing Kitty to disregard the words only rooted them deeper. If Georgiana had not seemed so terrified of Kitty knowing what she had said, then perhaps Kitty would have been able to brush it off. But, Georgiana was no actor. She could not hide her growing despair.

For a girl to want to marry another girl, the very idea was fresh and unthought of to Kitty. She looked back at Georgiana, hoping for understanding to be gained from her face. Georgiana's mouth was turned down and her blue eyes wide and her face flushed a deep red.

Georgiana looked ready to try speaking again when a shadow fell over them. Colonel Fitzwilliam had come to collect them. They were ready to make their way back to Pemberley as they had an early departure the next day. Any words left unspoken between the two girls were left heavy in the air.

Chapter Text

Chapter 10: Tact and Tenderness

The next morning, Kitty was finishing packing. She only had to pack the items she had left out for the assembly rooms. They had the plan to leave that morning after breaking their fast. It took less time than she would have liked to pack and left Kitty to her thoughts that were currently swirling around her mind.

She and Georgiana did not speak for the rest of the night. Kitty could have said something on the carriage ride home, but it seemed too awkward and brash to speak with Colonel Fitzwilliam sitting across from them. When they finally reached Pemberley, Georgiana had rushed to her room without a glance in Kitty’s direction.

Kitty wasn't sure if she was upset or relieved. Perhaps both. She hadn't known what to even say then, and sleeping had not given her any insight on the matter. She was still as tongue tied as she had been when Georgiana had first said she wanted to marry a woman.

The very idea still confused Kitty. She had never considered it to be an option for a girl to love another girl. She wondered if Georgiana had loved another girl before. Was that how she knew? Had she ever loved a man? What of Mr. Wickham? Georgiana had claimed their intentions to be a marriage of convenience, so had there been no love there? Kitty felt a bit silly for assuming there had to have been some feelings on Georgiana’s side.

Kitty paced around her room, her hair still had a curl to it that bounced behind her. Could men love other men? If that was so then why did she never hear of them marrying? Did the church not allow it? That didn't seem right. If marriage was meant to be a union of love, then it should be allowed for anyone in love. Georgiana couldn't be the only girl who loved women, Kitty wasn't sure why she thought so, but it seemed to be right.

Kitty had so many questions that she wanted to ask Georgiana, but she wasn't sure how to start or what to say to soothe the rift growing between them. She half hoped that Georgiana would be her normal happy self when they met for breakfast, and they could put any awkwardness behind them.

Kitty’s hopes were dashed when she stepped into the dining room and Georgiana would not look up from her plate. Kitty took her usual spot next to Georgiana and wondered if that sent a message to Georgiana, whatever that message was meant to be.

There was a tension in the air, but Kitty was not sure if she were the only one to feel it. Georgiana's shoulders were tense and curved in on themselves. Kitty had to stop herself from reaching a hand out to reassure her.

If anyone could feel the awkward air, it was not Mr. Darcy. He was all good humor and even turned to Kitty to speak directly to her, " Miss Bennet, I have found your behavior to be commendable, yesterday as well as these past weeks. You have proven yourself to be quite well mannered."

Kitty gave a small thank you, but could not find herself to be gladdened by his words.

Elizabeth smiled at Kitty, "Did you both enjoy the ball? It seemed like you both had a good time."

"We did," Kitty answered for the both of them, but immediately regretted not giving Georgiana a chance to speak should she have wanted to.

"It was a fine ball," Colonel Fitzwilliam declared decidedly. Mr. Darcy made a face that Kitty almost read as a grimace, but it was quickly replaced with her generally neutral expression. Kitty wondered if perhaps Mr. Darcy did not like balls altogether. It would certainly explain the stiffness he sometimes seemed to hold in his shoulders and arms.

"It was very nice," Elizabeth agreed, "Did any of the young gentlemen catch your eye?" Elizabeth turned to Kitty expectantly.

"I, um!" Kitty started. She shot a glance towards Georgiana who did not meet her eyes. Instead her shoulders were hunched over even tighter than before. Kitty fumbled over her thoughts searching for a reply that did not share too much about Georgiana, as well as one that felt truthful. Did a gentleman catch her eye? She could hardly remember the night before, except her conversation with Georgiana. Everything else seemed so unimportant and silly now.

"I am only teasing," Elizabeth said after a moment, saving Kitty from her own swirling thoughts.

"There will be plenty of gentlemen partners in London to find noteworthy," Colonel Fitzwilliam added. Not for Georgiana, Kitty could not help but think.

—----------------------------‐—--------

When breakfast was finished and their luggage secured to their carriages, they were off. The fog of the morning had just dissipated and it was an unseasonably warm morning. Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam were in their own carriage that opened to the air. Kitty felt a fleeting moment of envy. What fun it would be to ride with Georgiana in a carriage that was open to the sky, if they were speaking.

Instead the women were in the closed carriage. There was plenty of room and Kitty sat beside Georgiana, their cloaks almost touching. Georgiana pulled herself into the corner of the carriage, making herself even smaller. Kitty clasped her hands together in her lap to keep from reaching out. How different had their carriage ride been just the night before.

The ride was silent, and Elizabeth met Kitty’s eyes more than once, her gaze questioning. Kitty tried to smile back, as if nothing was wrong, as if it was not obvious that the air was thick with tension. Kitty eventually stopped looking around the carriage entirely and kept her eyes watching out the window at the passing scenery. It was easier that way. The scenery did not ask questions she could not yet answer or worse still, it did not avoid her entirely.

They stopped some time in the afternoon at an inn for a lunch of cold cuts and fruit. It was a tavern that Kitty had not stopped in yet before in her travels. Usually she would fill her time saiting her curiosities, but even the newness if the tavern felt dulled. Being in the closed carriage and now a building with a strong smell of wood and smoke was making Kitty feel uneasy. She took some apple slices and a smaller chunk of cheese and made her way outside.

The breeze calmed Kitty’s nerves and the sky was bright and clear. A small stone fence wound its way around the inn and separated it from the road. Kitty chose a spot close to the entrance, but far enough away to give her a view of the rolling hillside.

Kitty had little appetite, but she ate her apple slices anyway. The silence around her now was much more welcoming. It wasn't an absence. Even thinking about the rest of the journey and the terrible quiet that would accompany it made her eyes prickle with tears. She quickly wiped them away when she heard his sister's voice.

"So, this is where you have snuck away to," Elizabeth said as she approached.

"I did not sneak," Kitty insisted, "I only wanted to feel the breeze."

"May I sit?" Elizabeth asked, and she did so when Kitty gave a nod. They both sat in a silence that reminded Kitty of the carriage and it made her stomach churn. She regretted the apple slices and turned the cheese and napkin around in her hands.

"Kitty," Elizabeth finally said, "What is the matter?"

Kitty bit her lip. There was so much that was wrong that she didn't know from which end to begin, and she hesitated saying anything at all. Georgiana had seemed so distraught to have told Kitty that which must have been a secret that she didn't want to tell another, even if it was Elizabeth. She didn't want to lie to her sister either. Kitty took her time piecing her response together.

"I… I have made Georgiana upset with me," Kitty said.

"What happened?" Elizabeth gently pressed, "I had noticed a change in both of you today."

"I didn't say the right thing to her. I hardly said anything at all. I think I was very rude to her," Kitty said, determined to be vague.

"Well," Elizabeth mused, "It is never good to be rude, but sometimes the right thing to do is be honest and say how you feel."

Kitty watched a carriage crest a hill and approach from the distance. She watched the birds call to each other from the nearby tree tops. Finally she said quietly, "I am not sure how I feel."

Elizabeth put her hand on Kitty's arm, "You could say that too."

Kitty was all quiet reflection in the carriage after her conversation with Elizabeth. She wanted to know her own thoughts and feelings so she could share them with Georgiana. She wanted to soothe her friend's worries. She had no intention of telling anyone else what she had been told, although it seemed unfair that Georgiana was to be burdened with secrecy at all. Love shouldn't need to be hidden, even if it was queer or different.

Kitty glanced at Georgiana. Georgiana was very beautiful and she had a very good dowry. It would be easy for her to find a husband to love her if she wanted. But, she didn't want that. She wanted a wife. Kitty tried to imagine what it would be like to have a wife, but it only made her flushed. She could hardly imagine what it would be like to be loved like that at all. It seemed like such an impossibility that it was hardly worth picturing.

Regardless of what Georgiana wanted, Kitty knew that she wanted her friend to be happy.

"The weather is quite nice for traveling," Elizabeth said a few hours into their journey.

"Yes, it is. It is nice and warm for November" Kitty nodded. Both the sisters turned toward Georgiana, hoping for her to speak.

Georgiana quickly met both their eyes and looked down again, "Yes, it's fine."

"I hope our journey tomorrow is as calm," Elizabeth continued.

"Me too!" Kitty added. Georgiana did not look up or answer this time. Kitty swallowed and bit her lip. Perhaps she had waited too long and her friendship with Georgiana was ruined. Kitty wished she had said something to Georgiana sooner. Now it must be too late.

Elizabeth tried again a few more times during their travel to start conversation and Kitty did her best to meet her sister's enthusiasm, but the silence from Georgiana’s corner was making her chest ache. Sometimes Georgiana would speak if asked something directly by Elizabeth, but her responses were always brief and monotone. Georgiana spoke as if she were speaking with a stranger she had no intention of knowing. Eventually Elizabeth stopped conversing altogether. Kitty wasn't sure if she was relieved or depressed for the quiet.

They rode enough into the evening that when they finally stopped at the inn they did not dine together. Instead luncheon meats were brought to each of their three rooms. There was one room for Colonel Fitzwilliam, another for Elizabeth and Mr Darcy, and last was the room Georgiana and Kitty were to share.

It was a smaller room with a single bed sat to one side. A table with two chairs sat on the other side of the room and candles were already lit and their meal spread out. Kitty was still not hungry and couldn't bring herself to eat.

This was the first time since the assembly rooms that Kitty and Georgiana found themselves alone together and Kitty did not know how to handle herself. She smoothed out her skirts for the third time, her hands desperate to find purpose.

Georgiana held her shoulders stiffly and she changed into her night clothes behind the partition wall provided first. Kitty quickly followed, changing after her, thankful for something to do. When she stepped out, resisting the urge to smooth her skirt, Georgiana was pulling back the blanket from one side of the bed. She looked up and they made eye contact.

"I'm sorry that you must share a bed with me," Georgiana began softly, "Nothing will happen if that is what you are worried about. I will not do anything."

Kitty’s breath caught in her throat, "I have no such fears!" She faltered, her words still too jumbled together to form sentences that she felt were worth sharing. She took another shaky breath and pressed forward, "I worry that if I do not speak now I will not have another chance to do so. In truth I do not understand everything, even my own feelings seem lost on me. I have not told anyone if you were worried about that," Kitty said. Georgiana glanced away and Kitty knew that that must have been a real fear Georgiana had had.

Kitty continued, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you so when you first told me. You must have been troubled all day and I could have reassured you at any point. Honestly, you surprised me a great deal. I have never heard of two women being in love. It confuses me and I feel like there might be some clarifications available to me. But, I don't want to lose our friendship and I don't wish for you to hate me. I can even pretend that I never heard you if it brings you back. I know I messed up. I know that I wasn't a very good friend. I don't think it's fair that you can't love whomever you want without fear." Kitty couldn't help the wave of terrible emotions that washed over her. Tears streaked down her cheeks and her monologue was interrupted by her choking back a sob.

Georgiana's face softened and she went over to Kitty, "May I touch you?" She asked, and when Kitty nodded she gently wiped Kitty’s tears from her cheeks. Kitty took a shaky breath to center herself.

Georgiana began slowly, "I could never hate you, Kitty. I was prepared for you to hate me after learning my… feelings."

"I don't hate you!" Kitty insisted.

Georgiana smiled, her eyes prickling with tears of her own, "I am glad, truly. You are the first real friend I believe I have ever had. I did not mean to tell you my secret, not so soon at least."

"I am sorry if I pushed you in any way to speak," Kitty said.

"No, you did no such thing," Georgiana shook her head, "You have done nothing wrong."

"And neither have you," Kitty said firmly.

Georgiana laughed, "Then we are both blameless."

Kitty let out a giggle as well. Georgiana seemed lighter, her shoulders and arms less stiff. Kitty felt tired from all of the emotions of the day. She slipped away from Georgiana and went to the bed.

"Let's sleep now, we can speak more in the morning," Kitty said. Georgiana agreed, nodding and making her way to the candle beside the bed. Kitty found herself falling to sleep quickly, no longer burdened by the feeling of losing Georgiana. The knot in her stomach had unwound itself, but new emotion was taking its place. One she could not name nor dwell on for long as she soon gave in to her exhaustion.

Chapter Text

Chapter 11: Curiosity and Courtesy

Kitty had not slept so well in ages. The inn's bed was no less comfortable than her own bed at home. Perhaps it was the weight and warmth of another sharing her bed that had aided her sleep. She used to share a bed with Lydia and she had little trouble sleeping then. In the morning when Kitty woke, she stayed still in bed, watching the light of the morning sun arch across the ceiling. She didn't want to disturb Georgiana's sleep.

Georgiana snored just slightly and would turn in her sleep but always returned to her back. Her hair was pulled down into a braid and shone when the sun's rays hit it. Her shoulders were relaxed on the pillow. Kitty found herself staring.

Kitty shook her head and glanced away, looking out the window instead. A tree partially blocked her view of the sky, its leaves a deep orange. Her cheeks felt warm. It was normal to find Georgiana pretty, because she was. It was simply a fact. It really didn't mean anything more than that.

"Kitty, are you awake?" Georgiana murmured, rolling onto her side to face Kitty. Kitty moved to face Georgiana as well.

"I am," Kitty answered softly. If they were quiet enough they could hear the kitchen work going on below them.

"Did you sleep well?" Georgiana asked. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

Kitty nodded, "I slept very well. I think I was so relieved of my worries that I fell asleep surprisingly quicker than I would have expected to in a new place such as this."

"I did as well," Georgiana was silent for a moment before adding, "You said last night you had some questions, or a wish for clarification. Perhaps I could give you that, if you had something to ask."

Kitty hummed in thought. While her words were less jumbled, she wasn't exactly sure how to ask what questions she had. She collected her thoughts for a minute before asking her first question.

"What does it feel like to be in love with another girl?" Kitty then hastily added, "If that is alright to ask of course!"

Georgiana giggled, "It certainly is alright to ask. I told you that you may ask your questions." She grew more serious, "I have honestly never loved a man before and I'm not even sure if I have loved a woman, not so deeply as to call it love. But, I have felt infatuated. I suppose it is similar to how you would feel towards a man."

"Why do you have feelings for women?" Kitty asked, unsure exactly what infatuation or love felt like herself.

"I don't know. I have asked myself the very same thing. It would be much easier to be like everyone else," Georgiana answered.

"I'm sure there are others like you," Kitty said.

"Do you believe so?" Georgiana asked, her eyes wide.

"Yes. There are so many people that there has to be other people who feel similarly," Kitty said.

"Well, if you think so, then I have no choice but to believe you," Georgiana smiled, "I think I have always been like this, perhaps even born with an inclination toward women."

Kitty considered Georgiana's words. To have been born already knowing in your heart who you may grow to love. If that were the case, then it should not be a thing that must be hidden.

"Then I suppose, " Kitty said, "your engagement to Mr. Wickham was seriously a marriage of convenience."

Georgiana made a face at Mr. Wickham's mention, something between embarrassment and disdain, "Mr. Wickham found my secret out on his own. I had formed an attachment to a maid who did not speak with me, and I suppose I was too obvious in my affections. Mr. Wickham lied to me. He said he felt the same way I did, that he had a preference for men. He suggested we marry to avoid being forced into marriages where love was expected."

"The more I learn of Mr. Wickham the more I feel pity for my sister to have married him. I should not speak ill of family, even through marriage, but I think I dislike Mr. Wickham very much!" Kitty exclaimed. Georgiana hid a smile behind the back of her hand and stifled a giggle.

"I honestly thought perhaps he had offered the same deal to your sister, but I do not believe that to be true after hearing her letter. I now know Mr. Wickham was interested in my dowry and nothing more. I could never explain the full situation to my brother, so he still thinks I was foolishly in love with Mr. Wickham," Georgiana explained.

"What do you think would happen if you did tell your brother?" Kitty asked.

Georgiana shivered at the very idea, " I could not even imagine what he might do. If he is like the rest of society and looks down at my difference he might disown me from the Darcy name. Or perhaps he will force me into a marriage with a man I could never love."

"I think you give your brother too little credit. He may be stern, but I know he cares for you and would never send you away," Kitty insisted.

Georgiana gave a small smile that did not reach her eyes, "I do not wish to take that risk. I will hopefully live my days as a spinster with my brother none the wiser."

"To never fall in love?" Kitty asked.

"If I did fall in love, I could not marry the girl. Though I do not need to worry much because no girl is going to fall in love with me," Georgiana said.

"I do not believe that!" Kitty exclaimed before she could help herself, "You are lovely and kind and beautiful and I am certain many girls will fall in love with you in your life, and I even wonder if some have not already."

Georgiana rolled into her pillow and Kitty knew her well enough now to know she was hiding a smile. Kitty felt flushed so she sat up to cool her cheeks.

"We should get dressed before we are late to breakfast. Your brother would not be pleased with that," Kitty said.

Georgiana nodded into her pillow. The two girls quickly dressed into their dresses and Kitty did Georgiana's hair and then her own. She had gotten acceptably good at making a quick bun that did not leave loose hairs or fell out during the day. Working with Georgiana's hair was a special joy for Kitty because it was so soft and pretty. Georgiana's hair did not have any natural curl to it so her bangs fell flat across her forehead and framed her face. Kitty could have swept them into the bun and pulled her loose bangs back with a pin, but Kitty liked the way they fell, soft against Georgiana's cheeks.

When the girls were ready they made their way to meet the others for a quick breakfast. They were on a schedule. If they kept it, they could be at Netherfield the next day. The idea of being back in Meryton both excited Kitty and made her nervous. The last time she had been home she had been miserable. Her father had forbidden her from going to town alone and her mother or Mary hardly wanted to accompany her. Without Lydia, Jane, and Elizabeth her mother had little motivation to socialize and gave in to her ailments at an increased frequency. Kitty’s time had been spent trying to find things to do by herself in the house or tending to her mother.

Their carriage arrangement was the same as the day before, but all the awkwardness was gone. Georgiana smiled and spoke at breakfast and accompanied Kitty to the carriage with their arms linked.

Elizabeth gave a knowing smile to Kitty, "I am glad to see everyone is in good spirits for today, I'm sure it will make the trip much more enjoyable."

Georgiana gave a shy smile in response, but Kitty couldn't help smiling broadly. She was so relieved that things were back to normal, well as normal as they could be now.

"I think today will be a wonderful day," Kitty agreed.

The travel was indeed pleasant. Kitty kept the windows open, watching the scenery change around them. Elizabeth's small talk was met with smiles and responses from both of the girls. Part way through the day Georgiana began to ask about Kitty and Elizabeth's family.

"I only ask because we will soon be visiting with your family regularly. What is your family like?" Georgiana asked.

"Well, you have met most of them already during the wedding," Elizabeth said.

"But, she did not spend much time with them. A week is not enough time to get to know someone," Kitty said.

Elizabeth had a small playful smile when she said, "The two of you knew each other well enough after a week."

Georgiana ducked her head and Kitty gave an exasperated sigh, "That was different. We spent more time together," Kitty turned to Georgiana, whose cheeks were pink, "I will tell you about our family. Any questions you may have I will do my best to answer."

"I only wondered what they were like, their temperament and character," Georgiana said.

"Well, there is my father, Mr. Bennet. He is often in his study. He dislikes parties and balls and will stay home whenever he is able," Kitty began. She realized she knew very little about her father. He was not one to share and did not give off the impression of wanting someone to ask. Her father favored Jane and Elizabeth and called Kitty and Lydia silly. It was hard to want to get to know someone who held such a poor opinion of you.

"Your description of him reminds me of my brother!" Georgiana exclaimed happily. Kitty wasn't sure if that was more a compliment to her father or an insult to Mr. Darcy.

"Our father can be very witty when he wishes to be," Elizabeth added. Kitty smiled in thanks towards her sister.

"Next is my mother, Mrs. Bennet," Kitty began and she did not miss the face Elizabeth made. Elizabeth and their mother did not often get along. To be fair, it was difficult to get along with their mother. Kitty tolerated their mother’s comments with more grace than Elizabeth did. The words often hurt, but Kitty found a sort of pride in her patience.

"Our mother can be quite talkative," Kitty said, "If she likes you, she will like you very much."

"And if she does not like me?" Georgiana asked.

Kitty shook her head, "She will like you."

"You know Jane, our elder sister," Elizabeth continued.

"Yes, Mrs. Bingley is quite kind and sweet," Georgiana said smiling brightly. Kitty thought Georgiana looked her prettiest when she smiled.

"Jane is so nice that you cannot stay mad at her, for even if she has wronged you, it would have never been on purpose," Kitty said.

"I do like Mrs. Bingley a great deal," Georgiana nodded and Kitty felt a fleeting feeling that she didn't have quite the name for. It was gone quick enough that Kitty put little thought into it any more than acknowledging it.

"Next in the sisters is myself," Elizabeth smiled.

"I think I know you well enough," Georgiana smiled back.

"Oh, I may have many secrets still left to uncover," Elizabeth said playfully and the girls laughed and Kitty thought about Georgiana's secret.

"Then is it Kitty, or Miss Mary Bennet? I am not sure which one of you is older, I'm sorry," Georgiana said.

"You don't need to apologize, " Kitty shook her head, " Mary is older by a year. She is very serious and studious. Do not be insulted if she doesn't speak to you, save from repeating quotes for your betterment."

"Kitty," Elizabeth warned.

"What? I do not think I said anything incorrect," Kitty made an effort not to pout. Surely the three of them were close enough to jest. Or at least, she and Georgiana were.

Elizabeth turned to Georgiana, "Mary enjoys playing the piano like you, Georgiana. You two may find common ground there."

Kitty could not help but to not want Mary and Georgiana to find common ground. It was a selfish thought and Kitty had enough grace to feel poorly for thinking it.

"I should like that very much," Georgiana said.

Mary also did not have interest in men or marrying as far as Kitty had observed. She wondered for a moment if Mary had leanings that aligned more with those of Georgiana's. Mary could be curt and prideful, but she was smart and hardworking. Could she and Georgiana find a connection? Kitty did not like thinking about it much so she let the thought go for the time being.

"Then is Kitty," Georgiana continued, "And I know her quite well."

"Perhaps I have secrets as well," Kitty said.

Georgiana cocked her head slightly, "Do you?"

Kitty stopped for a moment. Before she would have said no easily. She had little to hide, but few ever asked her for her thoughts and feelings before. The air in her chest felt thick like syrup or smoke. What was she hiding from them? From Georgiana? Was it really just nothing? Passing thoughts that meant very little. It was easier that way.

Kitty tried to smile and felt her good humor came out well enough, "No, I suppose I do not. "

"We all know Kitty very well indeed," Elizabeth said smiling, but it just made Kitty feel uncomfortable. She didn't want the conversation to continue with her as its subject.

"Last is Lydia," Kitty said hurriedly. Elizabeth made another face, but this one was more unreadable than her face before. Kitty’s face flushed. She wasn't sure if she had messed up once again, but Elizabeth continued for her.

"Lydia is bright and excitable. She has a lot of joyous energy," Elizabeth said.

"You must all like having her as a sister," Georgiana said politely. Kitty nodded because she didn't trust her own voice to speak as she wanted it to. She thought of Lydia's letters and how brash they were. How unafraid she was to say whatever she fancied. The way that Kitty felt like she was only something because Lydia had allowed her to be.

Kitty looked over at Georgiana. She felt close with Georgiana, as close as she had with Lydia, if not more so now, after everything. Georgiana didn't make her feel small though. Kitty felt tall and full and happy.

Georgiana turned to Kitty and smiled, pushing her hand resting on the seat of the carriage closer so that it was touching the edge of Kitty’s hand. Kitty smiled back, hoping her smile conveyed all that she was feeling, even if she couldn't speak it out loud to herself.

Chapter Text

Chapter 12:Manners and Mannerisms

When the party finally caught sight of Nertherfield's chimneys and roof Kitty couldn't tell if she was feeling excited or nervous. Georgiana was just excited. She sat up straight, twisting around to catch every view of the countryside, her smile wide and her eyes bright. The pleasant silence was broken only for Georgiana to ask questions about their home life and Meryton.

When they pulled into Netherfield's long road to its doors, only then did Georgiana calm into a tight lipped silence. The difference was clearly felt in the carriage. Georgiana pulled her hands into her lap and Kitty had grown so used to Georgiana’s hand against hers that her own hand felt odd at the sudden disappearance.

Kitty wondered who would be there to greet them when they went inside. Naturally Mr. Bingley and Jane. His sister's may also be in attendance. They seemed to never stray too far from his presence, even if Mrs. Hurst had her own husband and likely her own home. Kitty supposed she was like Miss Bingley now. A companion to her older married sibling.

Netherfield did not feel like home to Kitty, but its familiarity brought a comfort, if small. The air smelled of fall and leaves crunched underfoot as they stepped out of the carriage. Mr. Darcy helped his wife and Colonel Fitzwilliam offered his hand to Georgiana and Kitty.

Kitty smoothed the wrinkles from her skirt. It was the brown day dress and pretty flowering embroidery in white thread traced along the bottom. It was a fairly simple dress and she knew Lydia, if she were here, would have comments about the dreary color, but Kitty liked the dress immensely. It was a gift from her friend and she had made it her own with hard work. She knew that the others would not comment on her dress, but she still held onto some excitement at the prospect of showing it off.

Netherfield was just as nice as Kitty remembered it, although not as grand as Pemberley. Kitty doubted many homes would be as grand as Pemberley, so it was not a slight on Netherfield at all. They removed their cloaks and outerwear and were led to a sitting room that Kitty had only visited once before.

Mr. Bingley and Mr. Hurst stood as the party entered and Mr. Bingley had the brightest and most genuine smile Kitty had ever seen. Jane and Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley remained sitting, but Jane's smile was nearly as bright as Mr. Bingley's.

Another woman sat with the group. She was older than everyone in the room with silver hair and a dress of an older fashion. She sat tall and proud, but did not grin at the arrival of the party. Her face was unreadable and steady. Kitty did not feel malice or bad humor coming from the woman. Kitty stood straighter and smiled at Jane.

"You are finally here!" Mr. Bingley said happily, "I was beginning to worry that you lost your way!"

Mr. Darcy scoffed, "As per my letter, we are right on schedule."

"Who can trust letters? I have made it to Pemberley at the same distance in two days time," Mr. Bingley insisted.

"I do not doubt that, but I am sure you made the journey alone, changing horses along the way. Not instead with ladies and a carriage," Mr. Darcy said.

Jane encouraged the party to come sit down and they did so. Miss Bingley pulled Georgiana to her side before anyone could object. Kitty was content to sit near Elizabeth, she was used to Miss Bingley’s actions. Finally the woman was introduced.

"They is Lady Bingley, my grandmother. She is staying with us for the winter and in the spring we plan to sell her London townhouse and move her to the more peaceful countryside," Mr. Bingley exclaimed. The honorific surprised Kitty. She had thought the Bingleys did not hold any titles.

"It is such a shame you are selling the house in London," Mrs. Hurst moaned, "It is such a pretty house. It really should remain in the family."

"It is in a good location too, a respectable street," Miss Bingley added. She did not seem as distraught as Mrs. Hurst and her words only seemed to egg her older sister on.

"Oh yes, a grand location. I have often said so have I not? It may be the perfect townhouse. I doubt it won't be long before some undeserving family snatches it up for themselves when it really should be passed down to a grandchild."

"I think not," Lady Bingley surprised the room by speaking. Even Mr. Bingley seemed taken aback.

Lady Bingley continued, "I will not be bullied into staying in London just so that you might have a chance at the property when I am dead."

Mr. Hurst seemed flustered, "It is not my intention to bully anyone! Please forgive me Grandmother for your interpretation of my words."

"I need time to decide if your apology has been made in good faith or not before I give forgiveness," Lady Bingley said simply. Mrs. Hurst's mouth lay agape until Miss Bingley told her to close it.

Mr. Bingley quickly changed the subject, asking to be told of their travels. Elizabeth was happy to oblige him and told of their stops and sights they had seen. Kitty did not add to Elizabeth's telling and only spoke when asked directly if she had enjoyed the trip.

"I did, very much so. I have made the trip only twice now, but it is very pleasant, if albeit tiring," Kitty answered.

"Ah yes, you do not often travel. How lucky for you that your sister married well. Now, you may enjoy such luxuries as traveling and staying in nice places," Miss Bingley said in an overly sweet voice. Kitty could feel her neck tense. She had grown used to the slights towards herself, but the poor implications of Elizabeth were another thing altogether.

Before she could help herself Kitty said, "I am very lucky that my sister and Mr. Darcy fell in love and entered into such a marriage as they have, because now I get to see how happy they are together."

Miss Bingley did not hide her glare, and Kitty knew she would regret such words later but Georgiana's small smile made it worth it.

"Miss Darcy," Miss Bingley said, turning towards her, "you must accompany me on a walk about the grounds before it gets too dark. The sun sets much too early this time of the year, but you must see Netherfield's woods and gardens. We must leave now to see it all this afternoon."

"It would be nice to see the grounds. Can Kitty not come as well?" Georgiana asked.

Miss Bingley smiled, "well, she may come, but I fear she is not used to traveling, and must be so very tired from the journey. I would invite her as well, I would love for her to go, but I don't want Miss Bennet to feel the need to overexert herself."

"It is fine," Kitty said to Georgiana, "I think I will do better to rest here."

"See Miss Darcy, she will be perfectly fine," Miss Bingley said, "Oh, Jane, you must join us as well. You are the lady of the house now, so you must show off your own gardens."

"A walk would be nice," Jane mused, "Elizabeth what do you think? Should we all take a walk among the grounds?"

Elizabeth agreed and all occupants began to gather towards the exit of the sitting room except Kitty and Lady Bingley. Elizabeth stopped before walking off, placing her hand on Kitty's shoulder.

"You may come with us, you must not be too tired to walk with your sisters," she said.

Kitty shook her head and glanced toward Miss Bingley, "I am fine here, truly. There will be plenty of walks among the gardens. I may miss one without feeling too bad."

Kitty didn't feel too bad about it either. Perhaps she might have felt slighted before, with being excluded, but it was hard to want to spend time with Miss Bingley. Kitty was glad that Lydia was not here to have to deal with Miss Bingley, or she might let her anger embarrass others.

The rest of the party made their way outside, even Mr. Hurst who had looked ready to fall asleep just a few minutes before. Kitty felt a sense of relief when the others left and let her shoulders relax some. She still sat tall in her seat and gave a small smile and nod to Lady Bingley when she looked over at her. It did not seem as though Lady Bingley was interested in conversation for the sake of conversation.

Kitty wished she had her embroidery to work on. All of her dresses were done, but she still longed for something to do with her hands. She sat in silence for a few minutes before Lady Bingley spoke.

"You let my Granddaughter make your decisions for you," Lady Bingley said. It was said as a statement, but there was something behind Lady Bingley's eyes. An invitation to disagree, to stand her ground when Kitty didn't before.

"I don't like to quarrel with Miss Bingley, it takes too much energy. I would rather choose to indulge her in her slights than to press her into further insults," Kitty said. She bit her lip, but didn't apologize for her words.

"You speak your mind," Lady Bingley said.

"You invited me too," Kitty countered. To her surprise, Lady Bingley laughed.

"I like you," Lady Bingley said.

Kitty smiled, "I am glad you do."
—-------------------------------------

The next morning Kitty found herself awake much earlier than the rest of the house. She had grown used to the early mornings at Pemberley that when she arrived downstairs she had to be told that the others wouldn't be up to break their fast for an hour at least.

Kitty found herself in a smaller sitting room to wait for breakfast. To her surprise, Lady Bingley was already sitting next to the fire sipping on some tea.

"Shouldn't you be asleep, Lady Bingley?" Kitty asked as she entered the room.

Lady Bingley waved her hand, "The members of this house sleep too much. Should you not be asleep as well, Miss Bennet?"

"I grew accustomed to Pemberley's early mornings. I suppose I was not informed of the change," Kitty said.

"Come and sit and have some tea," Lady Bingley said, her words sounding more like a command than an invitation. Kitty went to sit beside her either way and poured herself a cup of tea. The tea was fresh and still steaming. When she brought it to her lips she noticed Lady Bingley watching her.

"No sugar?" Lady Bingley asked.

Kitty shook her head slightly, "I don't prefer sweet things."

This seemed to amuse Lady Bingley, who sat back looking pleased, sipping at her own cup. They sat in a comfortable silence as the morning rays streaked into the room. The fire kept the morning chill at bay.

"So you have how many sisters?" Lady Bingley finally asked.

"Four. Three are now married this year," Kitty explained.

"Your other married sister is not talked of often, I tend to forget she even exists," Lady Bingley mused.

Kitty was careful with her words, "Lydia moved to Newcastle and we have yet to visit with her since right after her marriage."

"I have not been to Newcastle, that is quite far," Lady Bingley said.

"I haven't been either," Kitty said, " She had to move so far for her husband. Mr. Wickham is an officer and he had to go to Newcastle for his career. I fear I don't know much more than that." For the sake of her sister, Kitty did not want to speak her true opinions of Mr. Wickham. Lady Bingley seemed satisfied with the response and went back to her tea.

"What questions do you have of me?" Lady Bingley asked after some time.

The question surprised Kitty, "I do not know what you mean."

"I am sure that you do. Everyone is curious about something or another. Go on and ask your queries," Lady Bingley insisted.

"Well," Kitty bit her lip, "I did wonder about your title. I was under the impression that the Bingleys did not hold any."

"The Bingleys do not. I was the daughter of an Earl and I did not receive much excluding a dowry and the title of Lady. I married a Mr. Bingley but kept my title. It was mine, I might as well make use of it." Lady Bingley explained.

"What do you think of the new Mrs. Bingley?" Kitty asked.

Lady Bingley wrinkled her nose, "I expect you want me to talk fondly of her sweet disposition. She is sweet, I will not deny that."

"Jane is very kind," Kitty said, sitting straighter and looking at Lady Bingley, ready to defend her sister.

"Yes yes, perhaps the kindest if it will soothe you. But she is a mouse too timid to run a house like it is ought to be run," Lady Bingley waved her hand.

"I've never run a household," Kitty began, "but, you give my sister too little credit. Jane may not have a firm hand, but others love her and will help her. Mr. Bingley is attentive as well. I am sure he will make sure she is not taken advantage of."

"Perhaps you are right," Lady Bingley said.

"I believe I am," Kitty said.

"You are like an owl, I've decided," Lady Bingley suddenly said.

"An owl?!" Kitty cried out, "You have just met me and I am like a bird to you?"

Lady Bingley laughed, "Yes, I am quite sure Miss Bennet. You are like an owl, quiet and watching, but clever. People overlook you."

Kitty was quiet for some time, letting the words sink in. Finally she said, "Not everyone overlooks me. Not the people who matter."

Lady Bingley smiled, "No, I suppose you're right. Not the people who matter."

They were interrupted only by news that the others had risen and breakfast was about to be served.

Chapter Text

Chapter 13: Temper and Temperance

Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam stayed only a day at Netherfield before making their way to London. And, in that time, Elizabeth had managed to convince Mr. Darcy to take her with them. At first Mr. Darcy had refused, crediting his reluctance to wanting to get the townhouse ready before she saw it. But, Elizabeth did not care about the house's appearance or staff. She only wanted to stay with her new husband. Eventually Mr. Darcy relented and Elizabeth was to come with them to London.

"We will return for Christmas and the ball," Elizabeth told Kitty when she told her of the change of plans.

"Won't it be boring with none of us there with you?" Kitty asked.

Elizabeth smiled, stealing a glance toward Mr. Darcy, "I don't think I'll be bored at all. Perhaps you will understand better one day."

"Perhaps," Kitty shrugged. She knew that Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy were newly wed and would want to spend time together. Kitty just couldn't see it to be preferred over both family and friends. Still it was Elizabeth's choice and she had made it.

Kitty had taken up embroidery again. It was somewhat aimless work to keep her hands busy. She did not have a project anymore now that her dresses were done. She had preferred having a goal to work towards, but she couldn't think of what to occupy her time with.

At the very least having the embroidery hoop in her hands kept her busy in the sitting room, or at least the appearance of it.

Jane had guests come to visit in the mornings and Georgiana and Miss Bingley would often take the opportunity to walk among the gardens. The first few days Miss Bingley made excuses as to why Kitty could not or should not join them, but after that she simply did not even mention Kitty. Kitty preferred it that way honestly. She did not need to intrude on their time together.

She did feel a pang of loneliness. At Pemberley she had had Georgiana all to herself and Georgiana had been bright and energetic and spoke her mind, but here, Georgiana was quiet and too polite. Everyone thought she was timid and shy. Kitty felt a sort of warmth in knowing the truth in her character and manners. She knew Georgiana better than most of them ever would.

One joy at Netherfield was spending time with Lady Bingley. They continued meeting for tea before breakfast and Kitty would sit near her in the sitting room in a companionable silence. Kitty took over Jane's role of reading Lady Bingley her letters and writing responses for her, even if her handwriting was not as good as her sisters. Jane was happy to see them get along, but she seemed to want that closeness with her grandmother in law as well. Kitty wasn't sure exactly how to help her with that.

In the afternoons Jane was sure to invite Kitty on walks and visits to town and Kitty was thankful for her, even if it meant spending time with Miss Bingley. Miss Bingley did not relent in her remarks about and toward Kitty. Most were easy to brush off, but that sort of treatment was wearing Kitty’s patience thin. She wondered if she should stay home in the afternoons as well.

One morning, about a week after Elizabeth had left, Mrs Bennet and Mary came to visit. Georgiana and Miss Bingley had gone early that morning into town. There was a rumor that a new shipment from London would have arrived at the tailory. For once Kitty was thankful they were gone.

Kitty loved her mother, but being away from her for the first time in her life had given her a clarity that she was not very thankful for. She would much rather receive her mother with Jane without Georgiana there to hear her mother’s remarks.

"What is that racket?" Lady Bingley asked when Mrs. Bennet could first be heard all the way in the front of the house. Jane and Kitty instantly recognized their mother’s voice but could do little but wait until Mrs. Bennet and Mary were led into the sitting room. Kitty put down the letter she was reading to Lady Bingley and gave her an apology. She didn't want to read Lady Bingley's letters when her mother was here.

"Jane!" Mrs. Bingley cried out, seeing her first. She rushed over and gave her eldest daughter a hug before sitting down on a soft couch with a loud sigh.

"Hello mother," Jane said, "Hello Mary."

"The ride over here was much too cold," Mrs. Bennet declared, "A chill has come to the country and I do not like it. I was too fatigued from the weather to do anything these last few days."

"The weather has been quite lovely for the time of year. The sun is out and the skies are clear," Jane said. Kitty came over to sit near Jane.

"Oh, but the wind! You forget the winds. They are relentless and drain me so. I would have come sooner if not for the winds and then if not for the dinner party at the Lucas's. I had to attend that, even though I did not want to. Their dining room is much too cramped for the family they have and it gives me such a headache. Oh, I would not have gone if I could have avoided it, but Lady Lucas personally invited us and said she had news to share, but it was hardly worth it. It left me housebound for days to recover!" Mrs. Bennet said, pausing only for air.

"We are very glad for your visit mother," Jane said.

"Where is Elizabeth? Has she really gone to London without visiting her family? I did not want to believe such a thing," Mrs. Bennet said, huffing.

"Elizabeth tried to call on you, but you said not to visit as you were ill," Jane furrowed her brow.

"She should have come anyway! What if I had died?! She would have felt terrible!" Mrs. Bennet cried.

"Seems you lived," Lady Bingley said. Mrs. Bennet nearly glared at the woman, but regained her composure in time.

"Kitty," Mrs. Bennet cooed in the sweetest voice that Kitty had ever directed towards herself, "I am glad to see you looking so well. I have gotten word from my brother that they will be visiting for the ball at Netherfield, and Mr. Price will be in attendance with them."

Kitty brightened, "I would not be upset to see Mr. Price again."

"Yes, yes, but you must use this chance," Mrs. Bennet continued.

"Chance?" Kitty questioned. Her brow furrowed.

Before her mother could answer, Miss Bingley and Georgiana walked in. Georgiana smiled when she saw Mrs. Bennet and Mary were in the room. There was a round of greetings and introductions for Georgiana, but Mrs. Bennet was impatient to return to the conversation at hand, even with the additional audience.

"Kitty, as I was saying, you must use this chance at the ball to woo Mr. Price," Mrs. Bennet said.

Kitty breathed in too quickly and it made her cough. It nearly hid the sound of Miss Bingley letting out a laugh, but not completely.

"Mother!" Kitty said when she regained her composure, "What are you talking about?"

Mrs. Bennet sighed impatiently, "I don't recommend coughing in front of Mr. Price," There was another laugh from Miss Bingley, "You need to use this opportunity."

"I think you misunderstand my relations with Mr. Price," Kitty started, but was cut off by her mother.

"I understand it well enough. Clearly the young women in this family need their mother to give them a push in the right direction. If I had sat back and said nothing to Jane then she might still be alone and unmarried. I am knowledgeable about these things. I can clearly see where an attachment is growing," Mrs. Bennet said.

Kitty’s face was red. She glanced around the room. Lady Bingley was listening, but didn't show her thoughts. Jane looked distressed for Kitty, but was not doing much to help. Mary was staring straight ahead at nothing in particular, her mouth a thin line. Georgiana looked a mix of emotions, part concerned, part embarrassed. Miss Bingley looked more than amused.

Kitty tried again, "I am not pursuing anyone."

"I can plainly see that, Kitty," her mother said, "You ought to be though. You don't have the looks to wait for him to come to you. Once you go to London there will be plenty of pretty girls to compare you to. You're lucky that he did not take interest in Miss Darcy. What a disaster that would have been!"

Georgiana hunched her shoulders and Miss Bingley took the opportunity to speak, "Yes I think it would be a disaster. Georgiana is much too high in regard and station to be able to consider a poor business apprentice as a husband. She has the Darcy name to think of. I think it is a good match for Miss Kitty Bennet though."

Mrs. Bennet brightened, "Yes, thank you. I couldn't agree more. Kitty, you would do well to listen to Miss Bingley here."

"Mother…" Kitty couldn't find the words to explain that Miss Bingley was insulting them.

"Mother," Jane finally said, "What news did Lady Lucas have?"

Thankfully, Mrs. Bennet seemed perfectly willing to change the conversation, so long as she could lead it. Kitty sat quietly, staring at her hands. Her face felt so hot that Kitty worried steam may come off of it. How could her mother think she was being encouraging while in the same breath disparaging Kitty’s looks? Kitty knew she was not as pretty as Jane or Georgiana. She was fine with that, truly. Kitty did not think she was ugly, but her mother's words made her question that.

Jane and Mrs. Bennet talked another half hour before Mrs. Bennet finally decided to take her leave. Mary had not said a word the entire time, but Kitty could hardly begin to wonder why. She was too busy being mortified by her mother’s visit.

"Well, it is always a treat when your mother visits Jane," Miss Bingley said once Mrs. Bennet and Mary left.

"My mother can be a bit upfront," Jane said, "but she does mean well." Kitty wondered to whom that was directed at.

"Yes, she seems to care a great deal for both of you," Miss Bingley continued turning towards Kitty, "Miss Bennet, I did not know you had formed such a strong attachment towards Mr. Price."

"I have not. We are friendly," Kitty said quietly.

"But, you hope for something more I am sure. He was a handsome young man," Miss Bingley smiled.

"I can promise you that I do not," Kitty insisted.

"Oh, you do not need to be shy among us women. We may speak freely about our attachments. I recommend being bold with Mr. Price. As your mother said, with your looks you must act fast and snatch him up," Miss Bingley could barely contain her laugh behind her hand.

Kitty stood up with a start, "I am feeling unwell, I think I will go and lay down. If I may be excused."

"Of course," Jane answered and Kitty left before Miss Bingley could say anything else.

Kitty made her way to her room, determined to make it there before she let herself cry. Miss Bingley was going too far, surely she had some decorum or a limit to how cruel she could be. There was only so much that Kitty could tolerate.

"Kitty!"

Kitty turned around to see Georgiana running to catch up with her.

"Georgiana, you didn't need to follow me," Kitty said, steadying her emotions.

"I wanted to," Georgiana said, "Miss Bingley was out of line. She was too mean and you just let her speak to you like that!"

"What was I supposed to do?" Kitty asked, shaking her head.

"You should have told her to not speak to you that way, in fact you still should. We can go back right now and let her have it!" Georgiana balled her hands into fist, her brows turned down angrily.

Kitty smiled slightly, "I am not going to do that."

"Why not? She insulted your looks which is completely untrue. You are very very pretty. I cannot forgive Miss Bingley for that," Georgiana said.

Kitty could feel the blood rush to her cheeks again, "I am glad you think so highly of me."

"Of course I do!" Georgiana said and then, sobering slightly, she added, "It is alright if you fancy Mr. Price."

"I don't," Kitty insisted, "I have never even considered it."

"Well then I will not press you on it," Georgiana shook her head, "But, why do you let Miss Bingley treat you like that?"

Kitty considered the question for a moment before answering, "Miss Bingley has gone through a lot these last few months. Everyone around her has married and she is still single. She did not hide her preference for Mr. Darcy. I hardly knew her before, but even I knew of her feelings. Now she is forever tied to the family that took Mr. Darcy away from her. Even worse, she cannot express her feelings to anyone and her anger has no place to go. I am an easy target. I know she does not hate me as much as she acts like she does. You are her friend and even I am threatening to take that away. So if she wants to go on walks alone with you and direct her ire towards me, I can handle it."

"Oh.." Georgiana breathed. She reached out and took Kitty’s hands, "You are a very good person."

Kitty let out a light laugh, but gave Georgiana a light squeeze back, "Thank you, Georgiana."

Over Georgiana's shoulder, Kitty thought she saw the swish of a skirt turning the corner, but it was gone too fast to be sure.

Chapter Text

Chapter 14: Family and Familiarity

The morning Georgiana and Kitty went to call on Mrs. Bennet and Mary was brisk. The last of the leaves crunched underfoot and the sun shone brightly in the pale blue sky. Kitty was very glad that they decided to walk, even if the distance was a bit far. She had begun to grow stir crazy in Netherfield. She didn't get to walk nearly as much as she was used to. Walking with Georgiana certainly made the walk sweeter as well.

"I feel like I really didn't get to meet your mother and sister very well before," Georgiana was saying, "Miss Bennet did not speak a word and Mrs. Bennet spoke quite a few, but her focus was on other subjects. We really did not get to speak much."

"I hope you won't be disappointed with your visit," Kitty said.

Georgiana shook her head and smiled, "I think I will enjoy it very much."

Kitty still worried that her mother might say something rude to Georgiana. Making a good impression seemed to hold a great importance to Kitty for some reason. Maybe she felt that if Georgiana did not like her family then she would cease to like her as well. The thought did not hold up to scrutiny, but it still bounced around Kitty’s head nonetheless.

The last week had been strange. Miss Bingley had ceased her comments towards Kitty. She was not being kind to Kitty by any means, but she was no longer being unkind. Kitty was thankful even if she didn't know exactly why the change had occurred. It had given Kitty and Georgiana the opportunity to visit Kitty’s home without too much resistance from Miss Bingley.

Longbourn sat prettily in the surrounding hills and fields. Kitty felt a swell of pride and a touch of melancholy in seeing it again. It wasn't large like Netherfield or grand like Pemberley. In fact it was small for what it was and could use new paint on the shutters. But, to Kitty it was home and had a charm to it that could not easily be explained away.

"So, this is where you grew up?" Georgiana asked as they stood atop a hill looking down at the grounds of Longbourne.

"Yes," Kitty nodded, "although I think I am still growing.

Georgiana giggled, "That is fair, but you know what I meant."

The two of them began to make their way towards Longbourn and Kitty could feel Georgiana tense up. Kitty bit her lip, looking over at her friend.

"You don't need to worry too much," Kitty said in what she hoped was an encouraging way, "It will be a nice visit."

"I just worry Mrs. Bennet will not like me," Georgiana admitted, wringing her hands together.

"She hasn't said anything that would make me think she thinks bad of you at all. In fact all she has said is she hopes you and Mr. Price will not get engaged," Kitty said.

"Well, she needn't worry about that at all," Georgiana let out a breathy laugh.

Kitty smiled and bumped her shoulder against Georgiana's shoulder, "No, I suppose she does not."

Mrs. Bennet and Mary were in the sitting room awaiting their arrival when they finally entered after removing cloaks and mittens and gloves.

"You are lucky it is not snowing," Mrs. Bennet said when they entered. Kitty was thankful that she seemed in good spirits, as good as her mother could be.

"Yes," Kitty answered, "we are very lucky. If it was snowing we might have had to take a carriage."

"I am surprised you did not take one anyway. Does Netherfield not have carriages to spare?" Mrs. Bennet asked.

Kitty led Georgiana to the couch and they sat down beside each other. Mary was in the nicest seat, the one closest to the fire that got the best lighting from the window nearby. She was reading and only looked up once to watch the two enter.

"Netherfield has plenty of carriages, but we wanted to walk. Soon it will be too cold to take that long of a walk," Kitty explained, "Now, how has the morning been?"

"The cook has yet to decide a menu for tonight and I have been at my end trying to deal with her," Mrs. Bennet waved her hand.

"Is someone coming over?" Kitty asked.

"Oh, no, I just like to know what to expect. Last week I was all set on chicken when out came fish! It ruined the entire dinner," Mrs. Bennet said. Kitty smiled behind her hand and glanced at Georgiana whose eyes sparkled with amusement.

"Mother, you know Miss Georgiana Darcy," Kitty said, reintroducing her.

"Yes," Mrs. Bennet said turning towards her, "Miss Darcy, you are Mr. Darcy’s younger sister, how old are you exactly?"

"Sixteen," Georgiana answered, her back straight.

"Well, you are quite the pretty thing. And quite well off I imagine too," Mrs. Bennet mused.

"Mother," Kitty warned and Mrs. Bennet held up her hands.

"I have said nothing untoward. May I not compliment Miss Darcy on having the two things a young woman needs the most, a pretty face and a nice dowry," Mrs. Bennet said.

"I am sure a sweet disposition is highly valued as well," Kitty added.

"And I'm sure Miss Darcy has that as well. I have heard only lovely things about you dear," Mrs. Bennet said.

"I am glad," Georgiana said shyly.

"Yes, everyone seems quite taken with you, both of you," Mrs. Bennet said.

"Both of us?" Kitty asked, "Am I being discussed as well?"

"Your sisters have said how nicely you are behaving, which is good, for if it were the opposite, I am sure your father would have sent for you straight away," Mrs. Bennet explained.

"Where is father? Does he want to see us?" Kitty asked.

"Oh, your father is busy. You know how he is, always in his study," Mrs. Bennet said. Kitty tried to hide her disappointment. She had hoped her own father would have wanted to see her once after months apart. She knew he would have to come to the ball and she might see him then.

"Are you excited for the ball, mother? Georgiana and I are helping to plan it. We have already talked about the meal so far," Kitty said.

"Yes, of course I am excited, but you must understand that balls are meant for the youth. I will not be nearly as energetic about the whole thing. Balls do tire me out," Mrs. Bennet answered.

Kitty tried to keep the conversation going. In the past she had not been a guest and could simply move onto her own thing like embroidery or going for a walk with Lydia when the conversation dipped. Mrs. Bennet did not seem interested in speaking of the ball unless it revolved around Mr. Price and that was a topic Kitty would like to avoid if she could. Mrs. Bennet had gossip from Meryton, but Kitty could not make herself care as she used to.

After about half an hour of talk, Mrs. Bennet decided she could not wait to speak with the cook and excused herself. Kitty couldn't tell if she was upset at the rudeness or grateful that the conversation with her mother could finally be over. The three girls were left in silence that seemed to stretch out over them. Kitty was getting ready to suggest they leave when Georgiana spoke up.

"Miss Bennet, I heard you play the piano as well," Georgiana said.

Mary looked up with a start, her eyebrows raised in surprise, "Yes, I do,"

"I like playing very much, but I have had a tutor for most of my life so it is not nearly as impressive as being self taught such as yourself," Georgiana continued.

Georgiana sat slightly forward in her seat, her eyes bright. Kitty could only watch quietly as Georgiana encouraged Mary into a conversation about their favorite songs and composers. Kitty was surprised that Georgiana recognized the dull songs that Mary tended to play. Mary had set her book down and was facing Georgiana as they spoke.

"You must play something for us, for me. Please?" Georgiana asked, all smiles.

"Right now?" Mary hesitated. Kitty wanted to speak up to say that Mary had never before wavered in the opportunity to showcase her playing, even at the expense of others.

"Yes, right now seems as good a time as any. Play anything you'd like. I will guess what you are playing," Georgiana clapped her hands together, "We can make a game of it. What do you say, Kitty? Will you play with us?"

Kitty's mouth pulled down, but she quickly smiled to cover it, "I'm afraid that I do not know many songs, I will try, but I cannot promise I will be very good at it. Please play though, it seems like fun."

Mary went over to the piano and began to play something that Kitty did not recognize. It took Georgiana half a minute to call out a composer and name that Kitty doubly had not heard of. The two girls began taking turns going to the piano and playing and guessing. Georgiana laughed every time she guessed correctly and Mary smiled more than Kitty had ever seen her smile.

Kitty could not help but think that Mary did not have any friends of her own. She had always figured that was by choice, but why would someone choose to not have friends? Surely Mary wanted companionship like everyone else. Jane and Elizabeth had had each other and Kitty had had Lydia, but Mary was always the odd one out.

As Kitty watched Mary and Georgiana become friends right in front of her a thought that she had pushed away came creeping back. Did Mary like girls? In the same way that Georgiana did?

Mary was pretty. Her hair may be pulled too harshly back but it made her cheekbones stand out. Her nose was straight and her lips were pretty and only needed a bit of color. Georgiana could easily fall for Mary, Kitty decided. It would not be surprising at all.

Their temperaments matched very well. They both were polite and quiet. They were even the same height, Kitty thought with a start as they sat beside each other looking over a particularly complicated piece of music. They made a pretty pair.

Kitty wanted Georgiana to be happy, and Mary too she admitted. They could be happy together, but the thought felt sour on Kitty's tongue. She tried to push the thoughts away, but they were too firmly rooted in her mind now to easily set aside.

"Right Kitty?" Georgiana was saying from the piano bench.

Kitty shook her head to ground herself, "What was that?" She asked.

Georgiana giggled, "I said, Miss Bennet should help us with the ball at Netherfield. It would be a lot of fun to have more help."

"Does Mary want to help?" Kitty asked.

Mary glanced to her side, "I would not be opposed to helping."

"Then it is settled," Georgiana smiled, "You will help us, as long as Kitty is alright with it."

Kitty did not like being put on the spot, "Of course it is alright."

Georgiana came to sit beside Kitty again and that made Kitty feel a bit better. She was all smiles and bright eyes and Kitty couldn't help feel happy when Georgiana was in such high spirits.

"I will write to you and tell you everything we have already decided and we must plan a day for you to visit Netherfield so you can see the ballroom and help decide what decorations we must have," Georgiana said to Mary as Mary returned to her seat.

"I will do my best to not let you down." Mary said so formally that Kitty had to hold back a laugh.

"It is meant to be fun, Mary," Kitty said.

"Well, I do not think it will be very fun to ruin Jane's first ball as Mrs. Bingley," Mary answered.

Kitty made sure Georgiana couldn't see her before sticking her tongue out at her sister.

Georgiana was focused on the tea snacks that had been left untouched, "It is a shame we did not get to have any of these," Georgiana said gesturing to the little cakes and sandwiches, "I was too nervous to eat them with my tea. Now it is getting too late and we will need to leave soon to make it back by lunch."

"You could take some with you," Mary suggested.

"You want us to steal them?" Kitty asked, shocked.

Mary's cheeks colored, "It is not stealing if I have offered them to you. They will be thrown away otherwise."

Georgiana smiled, "I think that is a great idea."

Mary went to the side of the room to find a small basket they might take with them and Georgiana selected a few cakes for herself and a couple cucumber sandwiches, "For you, Kitty," she explained. Georgiana giggled when she put the handkerchief wrapped food into the basket provided. Kitty smiled too when she thought of how her mother would not approve.

Georgiana and Mary gave their good byes in earnest and Kitty only nodded and waved before they left to put on their outerwear and start their trek back to Netherfield.

"I think that went very well," Georgiana said as she reached for a lemon cake, "I was very nervous around your mother, but I think Mary is very sweet."

"You and Mary got along very well," Kitty said carefully.

Georgiana smiled, "Yes, I am very glad for that."

"I am glad my mother did not talk of Mr. Price again. I think I have had my fill of Mr. Price talk," Kitty said.

"Everyone only thinks you have fallen in love with him," Georgiana shrugged, "And it is perfectly fine if you have."

"I haven't," Kitty insisted and then paused, "I am not even exactly sure what love is supposed to feel like."

They walked in silence for a bit. The wind was just starting to pick up. Kitty pulled her cloak tighter.

Georgiana's voice was soft, and Kitty almost missed it, "Love is slow I think, but quick as well. It sneaks up on you."

"A trickster," Kitty nodded solemnly and Georgiana laughed.

"Yes, exactly. Love is a trickster. Love is sweet. It feels like honey and a spring breeze and a summer rain. It makes you excited and scared," Georgiana continued.

"Scared? What are you scared of?" Kitty asked.

Georgiana looked up and away, "What if these overwhelming feelings are not reciprocated? What if you feel something so strongly but the other person feels nothing? And sometimes you get scared that your feelings will become so much they will consume you."

"That does sound frightening and overwhelming," Kitty shook her head.

"But it is good as well. It is a wonderful feeling to be in love," Georgiana looked down, a small smile playing at her lips.

Kitty didn't respond, only thought about what Georgiana had said, letting the words settle into her shoulders. Love seemed complicated, almost unreachable. Kitty wondered if she would ever feel such emotions. It was also not lost on her that only a couple weeks ago Georgiana had said she had never felt love. Something had changed, but Kitty was suddenly too afraid to ask.

Chapter Text

Chapter 15: Patience and Procrastination

"Gold and red would be too ostentatious," Mary said as she walked through the ballroom, "White is a much more sensible choice."

Kitty groaned and walked ahead. She had been having this argument for too long now. The last time Mary visited Netherfield, Georgiana had brought up colors for decorations and it had been non stop since then. Kitty was nearly done with arguing and ready to give in, but she didn't want Mary to win.

The ballroom looked much larger when it wasn't full of people dancing. Kitty did a twirl and it made Georgiana giggle. A warmth spread in Kitty’s chest and she smiled and did another spin, imaging she was dancing at the ball.

"What about gold and white?" Georgiana suggested.

Kitty slid to a stop, "What?"

"Gold and white for the ball. I think it would be pretty. Not too busy but still has a sort of grandeur. Plus most of the decorations that the Bingleys have are already whites and golds," Georgiana explained.

"A compromise," Mary said thoughtfully and Kitty had to bite her tongue to not disagree only because her sister was in favor of it.

"That could work," Kitty finally relented. The Bingleys already had pretty white curtains that could be tied back with gold cord and white flowers were much easier to get than red usually.

Mary began to go through a piece of parchment that she had written an inventory of supplies they had access to. She began to make note of the colors of every item and what could and could not be used. Kitty had to admit that Mary did help them stay on task and stay organized.

Kitty was surprised how willingly and readily Mary had thrown herself into the planning. She had always assumed that Mary did not have any interest in parties and dancing. She hardly participated in either. Kitty had never asked Mary either way.

Mary’s auburn hair shone prettily in the sunlight streaming through the large windows. Her back was always straight and her teeth were good. She wasn't freckled and dark haired like Kitty was. She was thin and graceful and Kitty felt short and awkward next to her sister.

Kitty wasn't used to comparing herself to Mary. Lydia used to say Mary was dull and Kitty had always thought Lydia to be too cruel. Mary was not dull. She was serious and quiet and sometimes thought too highly of herself, but not dull.

Kitty was torn in her emotions surrounding Georgiana and Mary. She wanted both of them to be happy, but could not help feeling jealous of how well they got along. Georgiana was Kitty’s friend and while it was silly, Kitty did not really want to share her.

"I am so very excited for the ball," Georgiana said, doing a twirl of her own.

Jane appeared in the doorway of the ballroom, "I am too."

Georgiana immediately stiffened and Kitty could not help but grimace at Georgiana's reaction.

"Jane," Kitty said, to take the attention off of Georgiana, "We have decided on white and gold for the decorations."

Jane smiled, "I think that is a lovely choice. I am truthfully glad that you are all here to help. I think I would be all nerves if it was all on me. My first ball. That is too much pressure.

"We are glad to help," Georgiana managed to say and Kitty shot her an encouraging smile.

"Would you all like to accompany me to Meryton? There is an order I must put in for special candies with the bakery and we might find some new decorations in town," Jane suggested.

"We do not need to spend your money, sister. I have made a list of all the decorations Netherfield has at its disposal and we are quite satisfied with it," Mary said proudly showing her list.

Kitty was quick to add, "But, we will not turn down a chance to walk with you to town."

"Yes I suppose a walk is always good," Mary relented.

It was decided and the four prepared to take their leave and enjoy the walk into Meryton. Kitty enjoyed the walk especially as Georgiana linked her arm with Kitty's and spoke of the ball the whole way there.

"Will you dance every dance?" Kitty asked her, "it is much easier at a personal ball as you don't need to be introduced in the same way. Everyone may dance with everyone if a partner is needed."

"I did enjoy dancing at the Lambton assembly," Georgiana mused happily.

Kitty made sure they were out of earshot of the other two. Mary was showing Jane her lists. Kitty leaned and whispered, "Sometimes if there are not enough men present two women may dance together."

Georgiana colored, but her smile did not falter, "Perhaps I should enjoy that opportunity, should it arise. There might be plenty of men though. There will be my cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and Mr. Price, and I hear that there are plenty of unattached men in Meryton."

"There were more when the army was stationed in town. That was a lot of fun, always a dance partner. If there are too many ladies still, I will dance with you," Kitty said.

Georgiana looked away, "If you wish to."

"Of course I do, why wouldn't I?" Kitty said and Georgiana had no answer for her.

Meryton was alive with workers and patrons all with their own tasks and goals. The holidays were nearing and everyone was getting ready. The regiment was no longer in town and their absence was felt by Kitty. Lydia had loved the army men, so much so that she had married one. With the regiment there was always gossip and company to be had.

They all stopped at the bakery for the business that Jane had. Kitty busied herself while Jane made her order by looking at the decorated cakes. Icing folded over itself like ribbons and sugar pearls dotted along the edges of the cake. Apple and pumpkin pies sat cooling on another rack, filling the small shop with warm and comforting smells.

When Jane was done they visited the other stores in town. The tailory had a new beautiful deep green velvet that would make a lovely spencer if Kitty had her own money for it. She had a small bit of spending money left to her by Elizabeth and she was hoping to use it to help get presents for her sisters and Georgiana.

She had already gotten Jane and Elizabeth new handkerchiefs with their new initials embroidered onto them with lilies and daisies for Jane and roses for Elizabeth. For Mary she hoped a new book or new sheet music would suffice. And for Lydia she was unsure if she was going to send a gift at all. In Lydia's last letter she had mentioned not sending gifts to anyone because she did not see the point. Kitty was even considering stopping her letters to her sister for the time being. She didn't want to create problems for Elizabeth and Jane and all the sneaking was making Kitty feel sick.

A present for Georgiana was still up in the air. Kitty wasn't sure what Georgiana would want that she did not already have. Kitty wanted to thank Georgiana for being her friend, but was not sure how to correlate that into a gift.

Kitty looked at the green fabric wistfully for a moment longer before moving on. Past the ribbons and thread there was a small collection of glass beads. A certain set caught her attention.

Deep blue, almost black beads that shone a brilliant sapphire in the sunlight streaming through the window. A small wooden chest was full of them. It was the largest collection of beads among the group. Kitty wasn't sure, but there had to be hundreds of them, maybe more.

Kitty took off her glove to give one a light touch. The glass was cool and smooth. Slightly oblong in shape with a small hole at the widest ends.

Kitty found herself staring at the beads for longer than she intended and was noticed by Jane. Georgiana and Mary were looking through fabric in another corner of the shop.

"Those are pretty," Jane said, nearly startling Kitty.

"They are," Kitty breathed, not looking from the chest, "They would be beautiful on a dress."

"They would," Jane agreed, "You would look very pretty."

Kitty shook her head, "Not for me. No, for Georgiana. They would match her eyes. Her eyes aren't as blue, but I think it would still match prettily. I still have a dress left that Georgiana gave me. It is plain, but with the beads it could be beautiful."

Jane smiled, "That would be a lovely gift I think. Georgiana would like it very much."

"I cannot afford the beads. They are too much," Kitty's shoulders slumped before she picked them back on and smiled, "It is alright. It was a pretty fault, but I will have to find something in my budget for Georgiana."

Jane pressed her lips together, "They really are not too much."

Kitty stopped herself from letting out a laugh, "They are the most expensive beads among the bunch."

"But still not too much," Jane repeated, smiling, "If you think you can finish the dress in such a short time, I could purchase the beads for you."

Kitty was quiet for a moment, mulling her sister's words over. It was a little over a fortnight until the ball. She would have to spend a lot of her time working on sewing the hundreds of beads onto the dress. It would be hard, but imagining how beautiful Georgiana would look and the way she would smile made Kitty want to try.

Kitty smiled wide, "Would you really do that? You do not really have to do that. It could be your present to me if you would like. I think I could finish it in time. I would really like to try."

Jane let out a small laugh and Kitty's excitement and picked up the small chest carefully and went to purchase it. Kitty went over to Mary and Georgiana and tried to act like nothing had happened. She couldn't help stepping back and forth with the energy and excitement of her new project.

When they returned to Netherfield and Mary borrowed a carriage to return home, Kitty rushed up to her room with her chest of beads. For once Kitty was thankful that Miss Bingley wanted to spend time with Georgiana. It gave Kitty time to begin her work on the dress.

In her room she pulled the dress out to examine it. It was a pure white with a little lace at the end of the skirt and a thick band at the high waistline. It was a pretty dress, but quite plain. It was a little too long for Kitty, but she hadn't hemmed it yet, and for that she was thankful. It should still fit Georgiana well.

Kitty laid the dress out over her bedspread and smoothed the wrinkles. She didn't have enough beads to completely cover the dress, but that might be too much anyway.
Instead she decided to cover the bodice in diagonal embroidery, creating small diamonds and then sewing the dark blue beads into the spaces the diamonds made. Then she could have the beads on the skirt become further apart, creating almost a gradient to the white of her dress.

Kitty bit her lip, it was ambitious, even for her. She would have to leave the puffed sleeves white. The beads would weigh them down too much. Maybe some at the ends, but that would have to be it.

There was a knock at the door and Kitty rushed to put the dress and beads hidden away. Georgiana stood at the door, inviting Kitty to come down and join them in the sitting room to work on decorations for the ball.

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Over the next week Kitty fell into a pattern of working secretly on the dress. In the mornings she would wake early and work in the second sitting room. She still kept Lady Bingley company, and Lady Bingley had promised to keep Kitty’s work a secret. Well, she had said she had no reason to converse with Miss Darcy so the topic had no danger of coming up, but that was enough for Kitty.

The beads proved difficult to attach to the thin fabric of the dress. They were heavy for their size and slipped through the thread and fell to the floor often enough to be frustrating. Kitty wasn't used to attaching beads and kept pricking herself with the needle.

Still she kept at it, in her head imagining Georgiana wearing the dress to keep her motivated. In the mornings she could more easily disappear to work on the dress. In the afternoons Kitty would spend time helping Georgiana and sometimes Mary with decorations and planning, but occasionally Miss Bingley would occupy Georgiana's time and Kitty could sneak away to her room to attach more beads.

"You must really like Miss Darcy to be putting so much time and work into this dress," Lady Bingley told her one early morning while sipping her tea. Kitty had refused the tea as of late, for fear of accidentally staining the dress.

Kitty could feel her face grow warm, but ignored it, "Miss Darcy is my very good friend."

Lady Bingley waved her hand, "She is like your sister, too meek."

"She may be like that in the group," Kitty admitted, "But with me she is different. Alone she is talkative and smart and has a strong sense of justice. She is funny and still kind, still very kind. I really only had my sisters as companions before. Georgiana is the first friend I have had that is just mine. She did not befriend me because she was friends with my sisters first. I just want to show her what she means to me."

"And what does she mean to you?" Lady Bingley asked.

Kitty stopped and tried to find the right words. She was grateful for Georgiana's friendship, but there was more to it than that. Her feelings ran deeper and stronger. A warmth spread in her chest whenever she thought of Georgiana, of talking to her, of holding her hand.

Kitty swallowed, "She is my best friend." But the words felt hollow and shallow when she said them. They were the truth but felt like a lie at the same time. Kitty should be happy that she was friends with Georgiana, that time and time again Georgiana chose her, and she was. But, part of Kitty wanted something more, something she could not name, or would not. Something deep in her chest ached when she thought of Georgiana, now more than before. Something twisted her words up when Georgiana got too close. Something made her mind feel like liquid when Georgiana touched her.

Giving names to her feelings felt too scary to even attempt. It gave her a panic. Kitty knew that it would change things forever. She liked how things were now, change could be dangerous. Change made Lydia leave, what if change made Georgiana leave? Was that something Kitty was willing to risk? Losing Lydia had been difficult, but even thinking about the risk of losing Georgiana felt impossible.

Kitty continued to sew the beads into the dress, choosing to let her feelings flow into the dress, instead of letting them pool in her mind, threatening to take form.

Chapter Text

Chapter 16: Love and Loveliness

The gown was beautiful. It was just barely finished and the more Kitty looked at it, the more she could see improvements that could be made. The sleeves could use more beads but she had run out finishing the gradient on the skirt. She had to settle for the same diamond embroidery on the bodice to cover the ends of the sleeves and leave it at that.

The white band at the high waistline was a bit jarring next to the detail of the bodice, but there was no time to embroider the band. When Jane had asked to see the progress, she had said that it was beautiful as it was. Jane had complimented Kitty’s skill with needle and thread, it almost had seemed as if Jane was surprised at Kitty’s talent.

While Kitty had the dress spread out on her bed, going over the details one last time there was a knock at her door. She quickly covered the dress with her comforter before going to open the door.

"Elizabeth!" Kitty exclaimed, after a moment of shock she went to embrace her sister. It was an awkward hug as Elizabeth was holding a box that Kitty had not noticed right away.

"I did not think I would be missed so strongly. There are many friends and activities to keep you busy that I had assumed you would simply forget about me," Elizabeth laughed.

"Well, with all the sights of London did you forget about us?" Kitty countered.

Elizabeth shook her head, "Of course not."

"Then I am hurt you would think so little of me," Kitty pouted.

"Then I apologize," Elizabeth said. Kitty of course forgave her, but felt that her sister was still jesting.

"I have heard," Elizabeth began, "That you have been working on a dress."

Kitty cut her off with a quick "Shh!" And pulled her into her room and shut the door. Elizabeth let out a laugh.

"You are keeping this quite secret I see," she said.

"Of course I am, is it still a present if you let the other person know beforehand? I want to be there when Georgiana sees it. I want to see her face." Kitty said, her face growing hot at the admittance.

"Well, would I be allowed to see it? Is it done?" Elizabeth asked.

"As done as it can be. If I had started earlier maybe I could have done more," Kitty admitted. She went over to her bed and pulled her blanket away to reveal the dress. Elizabeth came over and studied the gown. Kitty fidgeted beside her. Jane was very nice, sometimes overly so, and Lady Bingley had not given her opinion on the dress yet. Elizabeth's opinion would be closest to the truth of the matter. If Elizabeth said that it looked poorly, then Kitty might not give the dress to Georgiana at all.

Kitty did not have to worry for long because Elizabeth said, "It looks nicer than how Jane described it in her letters."

Kitty beamed, "I wish I had more time but I wanted it done before the ball."

"Well, I hope you have time for one last alteration," Elizabeth said.

Kitty bit her lip, "Why is something wrong with it?"

"No," Elizabeth laughed, "I brought you something from London."

Elizabeth set the box she was carrying down on the bed. It was too small to be a dress box, but larger than another box of beads. Elizabeth gestured to Kitty to open it, so she carefully did. Inside was a thick silk sash of a deep blue.

Kitty let out a gasp, "Is this for the dress?"

"If you want it. Jane mentioned in her letter that you were unhappy with the white waistline, and since I was already in town, it was not hard to find the color she described and have a sash sewn."

"I really do want it. It's perfect! Thank you so much. You and Jane have been too kind to me," Kitty said. She pulled the fabric out and laid it on top of the dress. It would take a bit of time to remove the old sash and sew in this one, but it would be worth it.

"I am excited to see Georgiana in the dress," Elizabeth smiled.

"Me too," Kitty said, nodding.

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Along with Elizabeth, Mr. Darcy, and Colonel Fitzwilliam, Kitty’s Aunt and Uncle came into town, bringing with them Mr. Price. They came to visit Netherfield soon after arriving. Kitty was glad to see them, even if seeing Mr. Price made her feel awkward. It was nice to have more people who wanted to spend time with her, even if it was mostly just her family.

Mr. Price looked very good. He was in high spirits and seemed to have more confidence than before. His time spent in London working with Mr. Gardiner had done him a world of good. Kitty was thankful he was still himself despite all the happy changes.

"Miss Bennet, I am glad to see you are well," Mr. Price told Kitty when they found themselves sitting next to each other during their visit. Elizabeth, Jane, and their husbands were preoccupied with exchanging news with Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner. Georgiana had made her way to the piano at Miss. Bingley's request and was shuffling through sheet music until Miss. Bingley found something suitable.

"I am very well, thank you," Kitty smiled, trying to ignore the curious eyes that seemed to flit towards the pair, "How is London? I have not yet been. Is my aunt and uncle's house nice?"

"It is extremely nice. I fear I am enjoying London life a bit too much, but I feel like I am where I ought to be now. I enjoy the work with your uncle and I am saving for my own townhouse," Mr. Price explained.

"Oh, your own place so soon?" Kitty questioned.

"Not so very soon, I assure you. I am only saving all that I am able, and I fear it might be years before I am able to afford my own home if at all," Mr. Price said.

"I think you will have all that you are after in London in due time. You are diligent and hardworking from all that I hear, so you will have a house of your own, I know it," Kitty said smiling.

"That is truly great praise from you Miss Bennet!" Mr. Price exclaimed.

Kitty let out a huff, "You speak as if I am all negatives and rebuttals. I can be kind should I choose to."

"Well," Mr. Price smiled, " I am forever grateful that you chose to be kind to me today. I shall treasure it always."

Kitty couldn't help, but let out a giggle at that and Mr. Price beamed at her reaction. Kitty could easily admit that Mr. Price was handsome, especially when he was jesting. He had an easy going air about him. Kitty felt comfortable in his presence. She wondered if that meant she loved him. Was everyone else right about her own feelings that she couldn't square away? Was that all it took to love a man? To feel at ease around him? It must certainly be part of it, but Kitty couldn't help wanting something more, something with more emotion.

"Miss Bennet, I hear you are planning the upcoming ball," Mr. Price said.

"I am helping. It is not only myself working on it and I will not take full credit," Kitty said, "Though I am surprised you have any interest in a country dance when you have grown to care for London so much Mr. Price. Surely our parties do not compare."

"Again you wound me, Miss Bennet. I have no qualms with the country, truly. And here I was to ask for your first two dances," Mr. Price shook his head.

"Oh," Kitty breathed. Was this the emotion she was looking for?

"I still stand by my offer of course," Mr. Price continued, "If you would be willing to dance with a London elite such as myself."

Kitty felt pleased to be asked to dance, to be chosen. She had never been asked before a dance until now. Lydia would make a game of it, trying to secure as many dances as she could, but Kitty had always hesitated in asking for herself.

Kitty smiled, "I would love to."

Kitty was sad to see her aunt and uncle and Mr. Price finish their visit so soon, but knew she would see them again soon at the ball in a few days' time.

The Gardiners and Mr. Price were staying with Mr. And Mrs. Bennet and Kitty felt somewhat bad for Mary for having to deal with the young Gardiner children, as Mrs. Bennet surely was not. Mary might have to get used to it though, for she would be staying with them when they all made their way to London. Kitty was sure her aunt and uncle had to have some help for the children in London.

When they left and another guest came to see the Bingleys, Kitty took it as an excuse to call Georgiana away for a moment. Miss. Bingley made a face, but didn't say anything on the matter. Mrs. Hurst awoke only to ask why the music had stopped, and Kitty could hear the piano begin to play again as she led Georgiana out of the room and up the stairs to her bedroom.

"How was Mr. Price?" Georgiana asked. Her voice no longer held the disdain it used to for Mr. Price, but it still didn't feel as genuine as Georgiana must have hoped it would sound.

"Oh? He is fine. He is enjoying London a lot," Kitty said over her shoulder then paused and said almost apologetically, "He asked for my first two dances."

"Oh," Georgiana said and then added brightly, "That is wonderful, I am sure that you are very happy."

"I like to dance," Kitty shrugged, "And the distinction is nice too."

Kitty led Georgiana into her room and went straight to her bed where the dress was carefully put into a dress box and tied with some spare ribbon Kitty had had.

"What is this?" Georgiana asked.

"I wanted to give you your present before the ball," Kitty explained, "if I have seemed distant this last fortnight it is because I was working on this."

Kitty could not wait and undid the ribbon herself and opened the box for Georgiana to see. The rich blues of the beads and sash stood out against the white of the rest of the gown. The beads shimmered when Georgiana pulled the dress up to look at it.

"You made this?" Georgiana breathed, not taking her eyes off of the dress.

Kitty nodded and then said, "Yes, I did. Well, not the dress itself. It was one that you gave me that I ended up not using. It should still fit you I hope. But I added the embroidery and the beads. Jane helped me get the beads and Elizabeth brought the sash all the way from London, so you have them to thank for their help. Without them I couldn't have done it."

Georgiana marveled at the dress, turning it carefully this way and that, letting the sunlight catch the beads. She held it against his chest and pulled it back arms length again. Kitty fidgeted next to her. Did she like it or was she finding words to turn the dress down? Kitty’s nerves made her feel unsure.

"If you do not like it, that is alright, truly. You do not have to wear it either if you do not care for it," Kitty said when the silence became too much for her.

Georgiana turned towards her, her eyes wide, "Kitty, I want to wear it! I love it, it's beautiful. I just have never received a gift like this."

"Never? Your brother has given you gowns before," Kitty said.

"Never any that he has made himself. No one has ever spent so much care and time into a gift for me before!" Georgiana set the dress back in the box only to wipe at her eyes.

"Georgiana," Kitty said softly.

"I am not upset," Georgiana laughed, "I really do not know why I am crying. I am happy, really."

"I am glad you like it," Kitty finally said. Her stomach fluttered, but she did not know why. Kitty wanted to reach out and touch Georgiana, but couldn't find an excuse. Georgiana was the one who usually reached out first.

"I really like the dress, Kitty. I am glad you gave it to me now, I can wear it to the ball," Georgiana said.

Kitty laughed, "That was the idea."

"I am going to put blue ribbons in my hair and wear my white slippers," Georgiana continued, her cheeks still wet, and Kitty had to keep herself from wiping Georgiana's cheeks.

—------------------------------------------------------------

Elizabeth was with Kitty as she got ready for the ball. Kitty had planned to wear her green dress to the ball, but Elizabeth had convinced her to show off her peach dress again and Kitty had easily relented. Elizabeth did Kitty’s hair to alleviate some of the staffs' responsibilities that evening. Many were running around putting the final touches to the ballroom.

"Are you ready for the ball?" Elizabeth asked Kitty.

"I just need rouge," Kitty answered and Elizabeth laughed.

"I meant are you ready for your first dance," Elizabeth explained, "The one that Mr. Price has requested."

Kitty straightened and took a deep breath, "I am not nervous if that is what you're asking. I know all the dances and I have not made a mistake in years."

Elizabeth smiled wider, her eyes glinting in the candlelight, "But you have never had your first dances requested like so. It is alright to feel nervous."

"I know, but I am not," Kitty insisted.

"Of course, I am glad you are so confident when it comes to love," Elizabeth said.

"I do not know if it is confidence," Kitty admitted and added, "And no one said anything about love."

Elizabeth came to the mirror and moved a piece of Kitty’s hair back into place, "You shouldn't be afraid of love, Kitty."

"I am not, I just don't know if I have ever really felt love, and maybe I never will," Kitty said quietly. Everyone was so preoccupied with love and marriage. Was it not alright to be alone?

"You will feel it eventually, and when you do, it will change your entire life around," Elizabeth smiled, and Kitty could tell that she was speaking from experience.

"And if I don't?" Kitty asked.

Elizabeth thought for a moment, "If you never find love, then you will still have your family."

"Alright," Kitty's voice was soft as she looked into her reflection. She looked pretty tonight, she wondered if Georgiana would think so too.

When Elizabeth went to go check up on Jane, Kitty excused herself to go and get one last look at the decorations for the ball. She dodged past servants moving their way through Netherfield, trying to stay out of the way as much as possible. The hectic feel reminded her of home.

The ballroom was beautiful in white and gold. What seemed like hundreds of candles lit up the room, sparkling against the gold. It felt like a dream to Kitty.

She stepped through the ballroom. It felt bigger when it was so empty. Stairs on one end led to rooms where cards and games were set up for the gentlemen and ladies who enjoyed games more than dancing. The dining room led off on the other side of the ballroom. There was to be a supper and refreshments.

Kitty felt a sort of pride in how the dance was turning out, even if it had yet to start. Their work was still evident and it would be a good ball.

"Kitty?"

Kitty looked up towards the voice calling her. Georgiana stood at the top of the stairs. She was wearing the dress Kitty had made for her. The blue beads glittered in the nearby candlelight. A blue ribbon weaved through her blond hair and was pulled back into her bun. A few of her bangs curled down around her face. Her cheeks were pink and her eyes sparkled. Kitty forgot how to breathe.

"I see we had the same idea," Georgiana continued, "I wanted to see the ballroom in its full glory before it became filled with guests. It's beautiful isn't it?"

Kitty thought Georgiana might be the most beautiful person she had ever seen. But it was more than that. She was kind and sweet and honest. Georgiana was a good person and she saw Kitty for who she was too.

"Kitty?" Georgiana cocked her head to the side slightly and a curl fell onto her shoulder.

"Yes?" Kitty asked, not really listening.

"Are you nervous?" Georgiana asked.

"I… I believe so," Kitty said. Her thoughts felt muddled, but her emotions were clear and earnest.

Georgiana laughed, "It is usually me who is nervous. You do not need to worry. We did good. The ball will go very well I believe."

Kitty did not know how to explain that she was not worried about the ball. How could she say that it was Georgiana that was making her nervous. Georgiana would be sure to ask why and then what would Kitty say?

Georgiana was smiling and Kitty could not help her feelings. This was what love felt like. Kitty was in love with Georgiana.

Chapter Text

Chapter 17: Celebration and Contemplation

Kitty had made some excuse and escaped into a hallway that was thankfully empty for the time being. Georgiana might take her sudden exit the wrong way, but that seemed worlds better than her knowing the real reason Kitty had left.

Kitty paced along the long rug that lined most of the hallway. Her thoughts were swirling and her heartbeat refused to quiet, "Perhaps I am mistaken," Kitty murmured to herself. It made her feel a bit better to tell herself that. She could calm slightly. Things were much easier if she were wrong about her own feelings.

To be in love was frightening, to be in love with Georgiana, a girl, was an entirely different beast. It had been less than a couple months since Kitty had known such feelings were even possible. How could she feel attraction towards another woman when she barely even knew it to be an option. Surely this was a fleeting fancy, a thought spurred by her preoccupation with Georgiana's preferences.

Thinking of Georgiana made Kitty’s heart flutter and her stomach turn as if she was in a carriage. She had to calm herself down all over again. Georgiana had looked so pretty in her dress. Maybe Kitty had just confused admiration with love. She had never known love before, and even though Elizabeth said she would know it when she felt it, it still seemed impossible.

Kitty allowed herself ten more minutes of pacing the hallway before she felt she was stalling long enough. Mr. Price had asked for her first dance and if she was late, he might feel slighted. Kitty took a moment to smooth out her skirt and check her hair in the distorted reflection of a metal plate on a nearby table before making her way back to the ballroom.

Noise filled the hall before Kitty even entered the ballroom. Those who were in the building had made their way to the ballroom and others were beginning to arrive at Netherfield. Conversation wafted in from the open doors.

"Kitty, there you are," Jane called over when Kitty entered. Kitty made her way over to the group that had formed made up of Jane and Elizabeth and their partners.

When Kitty reached the group, Jane continued, "Elizabeth said you went down ahead of her, but when we arrived you were not in the ballroom. I was worried."

"There is no need to be worried, I am here now. I was just taking some time to myself to think," Kitty said, trying to sound more casual than she felt. She looked around the room to find Georgiana, but it seemed that she had stepped out as well. Kitty was not sure if she was more relieved or disappointed.

The music was beginning to fill the room. Not the dancing music just yet, but the musicians were playing something soft and nice. Kitty wondered if Mary or Georgiana would know the song they were playing.

As if on cue, Mary and Mr. And Mrs. Bennet walked into the room, shortly followed by the Gardiners and Mr. Price. This was the first time Kitty had seen Mr. Price dressed up, and he looked very nice, but he did not draw forth the emotions that Kitty had felt when she had seen Georgiana.

"My dear girls," Mrs. Bennet exclaimed from across the room. Kitty tried to hide her wince at the brashness of their mother, but was at least thankful she seemed in high spirits. Mary silently followed Mrs. Bennet as she made her way to her other daughters. Mary looked nice too, she had a new dress, or at least one that Kitty had not seen before. A white dress with burgundy trim. It was a bright white and simple and pretty and suited Mary very well. Her hair was still pulled back too tightly and her cheeks a bit too red, but she stood tall and straight.

"How I wish Lydia was here," Mrs. Bennet was saying, much to the dismay of everyone in attendance, "Then all of my girls would be together again. It is such a shame she and Wickham could not have settled closer to Meryton, then we might have all been together. What a merry thing that would be!"

"You will have to suffer with just the four of us then," Elizabeth said.

"Oh suffer!? No! You tease me Elizabeth! Does she not, Mr Bennet? You would have thought marriage would have quelled her love of teasing me, but it most certainly has not!"

Mr. Bennet stood a bit straighter, but did not seem to pay much mind to what Mrs. Bennet was saying and instead said, "I am glad to see Elizabeth and Jane have not strayed from their temperament. They were always the least silly of the girls and I would be disappointed to see that change."

Kitty tried her best not to hunch her shoulders. Had she really acted so untoward in the past to cause such a withstanding poor opinion of herself? Even with Lydia gone, her father still regarded her as silly, or at the very least sillier than her older sisters.

Mr. Price joined the group around the same time that Georgiana reentered the ballroom, and Kitty could feel her face flushing at the sight of Georgiana again. Mr. Price was saying something to her, but all Kitty could think about was the way Georgiana's hair brushed her cheek or the way her skirt moved as she walked.

"Miss Kitty Bennet?" Mr. Price said again, and Kitty snapped her attention back to the gentleman.

"I apologize. What did you say?" Kitty asked. Georgiana was approaching the group. She was smiling sweetly.

"I was hoping you would still do me the honor of being my dance partner for these first songs," Mr. Price was smiling as well. His eyes crinkled when he smiled.

"Of course," Kitty nodded. Georgiana was complimenting Mary's new dress. A familiar feeling bubbled up in Kitty, that she now could not ignore. It was a pang of jealousy. Kitty let herself be led away.

Mr. Price was a good dancer, a little formal, but still good, and it helped Kitty calm and begin to enjoy the ball. The best part of the dances was when she stood next to Georgiana in the line, whose partner was Colonel Fitzwilliam. Mr. Price also did not leave Kitty bored with his conversation.

"I must admit I have been to only a few assemblies while attending school. I fear I might not be the best dancer," Mr. Price said.

Kitty let out a small laugh, "Now is when you tell me? After you have tricked me onto the floor?"

"I would not say tricked exactly. I enjoy dancing and it is only logical to do things you enjoy," Mr. Price said.

"Even if others would dissuade you from pursuing the things you enjoy?" Kitty asked when they came together again. She glanced at Georgiana, but Mr. Price seemed not to notice.

Mr. Price chuckled, "I would be quite shocked to find a person who would be so against an unattached man from partaking in a dance at a ball."

Kitty shook her head, "Hypothetically," she sighed, "if what you wanted was not to dance, but something else entirely."

Mr. Price took a moment to ponder the question as they continued their turns and steps. Finally he answered, "I think that if you are not hurting anyone with your pursuit, that you shouldn't let poor opinions stop you from chasing what you love."

"You have a way with words," Kitty said.

"Oh, not words. I would much prefer numbers and arithmetic. Ask me to speak in front of a group larger than two and I flounder," Mr Price explained.

"You speak very well with me though," Kitty said.

"I will take the compliment if it comes from you Miss Bennet," Mr. Price said.

After dancing with Kitty, Mr. Price danced once with Mary and then with Georgiana. Kitty danced with Colonel Fitzwilliam once and then with a few more gentlemen from Meryton in attendance. Kitty could hardly pay attention to her partners and if asked she would not be able to even recall their names. Her mind was filled with thoughts of Georgiana and her own feelings. She found herself glancing towards Georgiana many more times that she thought was acceptable.

Georgiana had caught the interest of most of the attendees. She was young and pretty and new. For many, this was their first time seeing the sister of Mr. Darcy. While not dancing she stood with Jane or Elizabeth and was surrounded by ladies complimenting her dress and asking her questions. Kitty felt too nervous to approach the groups, and resolved to sit and rest with her mother and Mary instead.

"Did you enjoy your dance with Mr. Price. I do not often see you dance, Mary," Kitty said as they watched the other dancers.

Mary stiffened slightly, "He is an acceptable partner. He made no mistakes during the dance and was quite polite."

"You must see him more than I do, as he is staying at Longbourn presently and you will see him when you go to London as well. I hope you both become friends.," Kitty continued, trying to focus on something other than Georgiana.

"Nevermind Mary and Mr. Price’s friendship, how was your dance with him?" Mrs. Bennet insisted.

"It was fine, as Mary said, he is very polite," Kitty said.

"I dare say, you both look quite good together. If I did not know better I would think he and you were engaged already," Mrs. Bennet said.

"Mother!" Kitty half whispered, glancing around. Mary did not look pleased either.

Before Mrs. Bennet could say something likely more embarrassing, Georgiana had broken away from her group and had made her way over to them. Georgiana smiled at the group and brushed a price of hair behind her ear.

"Hello Mrs. Bennet and Mary. Hello Kitty." Georgiana said. Kitty wondered when she and Mary had grown close enough to be on a first name basis.

"Yes, hello dear. We were just discussing Mr. Price," Mrs. Bennet said, determined to continue leading the conversation, "I saw you danced with him as well, after my girls of course."

"Ah, yes I did," Georgiana said, glancing away.

"Well you danced very prettily. Your dress is very nice. My Mary also has a new dress as well," Mrs. Bennet said.

Georgiana smiled and looked down, "Kitty made this dress for me. She added all the beading and embroidery. I like it very much."

Mrs. Bennet looked towards Kitty, her eyebrows raising, "Kitty did that? I did not know she had such talent for things."

Kitty shrugged slightly, "I like to embroider."

"I was hoping to steal Kitty away for a little while. Would that be alright?" Georgiana asked.

Mrs. Bennet waved her hand, "I don't see why that would be an issue. I might need to remove myself from the room soon, it is much too hot."

Georgiana smiled and reached for Kitty's hand. Even through their gloves, Kitty could feel Georgiana's warmth when she put her hand in her's. Georgiana led the two to a pair of chairs shaded by one of the large curtains. Georgiana plopped down with a sigh and then a giggle.

"I thought we would never be together tonight," Georgiana said.

"You are very popular," Kitty said sitting down as well.

Georgiana made a face, "I do not know why. All of these people do not know me. I had to decline a few partners, well Elizabeth declined them for me, because I was so tired from dancing! I would much rather be spending my time with you."

Kitty’s cheeks flushed lightly, but she was mostly sure that Georgiana wouldn't be able to see, "Me too. We have been so busy dancing and seeing guests that we haven't seen each other for most of the night."

Georgiana bumped her shoulder against Kitty’s, "Well, we are here together now. How were your partners?"

"I hardly remember them except Mr. Price and Colonel Fitzwilliam. My mind has been preoccupied," Kitty answered honestly.

"Preoccupied with what?" Georgiana asked, tilting her head.

Kitty bit her lip. She wasn't sure how to answer. Should she tell the truth and explain her feelings? No, that was out of the question. It would only make things terribly awkward. She didn't want to change things between herself and Georgiana.

"Nevermind me, how has your night been?" Kitty asked.

"Exhausting, but good. I think I like personal balls better than an assembly where you do not know anyone. Many people complimented my dress tonight. It is my favorite present that I have ever received. I can't thank you enough," Georgiana said.

"I am glad," Kitty said, suddenly feeling shy, "I am glad you like it. So long as you like it that is enough for me."

"I think I would like any gift you give me," Georgiana said.

"Well, that is because you look pretty in everything," Kitty said without thinking. Georgiana looked away and Kitty looked at her lap, willing her cheeks to cool.

"You know you're pretty too," Georgiana said.

"What?" Kitty asked softly.

"Well, you would look pretty in everything too. I mean, just, you always say such nice things to me that I want to say them back, but they never come out the right way," Georgiana said.

"Georgiana, you are very nice to me. You don't need to do anything else, you're perfect," Kitty said.

This time Georgiana did not look away when she smiled. This was what love felt like.

Chapter Text

Chapter 18: Prattle and Praise

"I don't see much of a point to paying mind to the order of dances," Kitty told Lady Bingley as they sat together the morning after the ball. Lady Bingley's hands were full of her tea cup, warming her hands. Kitty had an embroidery hoop and her threads, but hadn't decided on a project yet.

"The order is the most important part. The first dance means just as much as your last dance of the night," Lady Bingley huffed.

"It is only dancing," Kitty said, her hands playing with the hoop.

"You are young. You haven't felt attraction towards another person. You will soon and then you will feel foolish for not considering how dancing is an opportunity," Lady Bingley said with an air of confidence. Kitty just liked dancing, it was never about her partner. Was it because they were men? Kitty wasn't sure and the contemplation made her uncomfortable. Was it because they were not Georgiana? Kitty shifted in her seat and resolved to change the subject.

"The food was very good. I wish you had stayed at least for that. I only saw you briefly and I was dancing so I could not greet you," Kitty said.

"The meal was served much too late. I am too old to stay up waiting that long. I sat in the card room for a while, but even that was not interesting enough to hold me for long," Lady Bingley waved her hand, "I did see Miss Darcy and that dress you have been working so hard on. It looked like it came from London. You did a good job on it."

Kitty smiled, "Georgiana looked beautiful yesterday," She said, then faltering, "I mean, just, the dress really suited her, I am glad it came out well."

"Yes, that girl may be meek, but she has the looks to be forgiven for it," Lady Bingley said. Kitty didn't bother to argue this time. They often had this argument about Georgiana and Jane and their dispositions. Lady Bingley would rarely falter, but Kitty had noticed her being kinder to Jane during their interactions.

"It sounds as if you did very well for yourself yesterday," Lady Bingley said.

Kitty nodded. She had enjoyed the ball despite the revelations of her feelings. The panic had quelled as the night went on and Kitty had finally decided to act as she always had, regardless of her feelings for Georgiana. It wouldn't be fair to treat Georgiana differently.

Otherwise, Kitty found herself feeling more at ease with herself. She did not feel quite so alone any longer and her place with everyone felt as secure as it could feel. She didn't need to second guess every action any longer. She could relax and be herself. Even though everyone seemed to think she had improved, Kitty did not feel like she had changed much at all. Or if she had, it was only to become more herself than before.

—------------------------------------------------

The plan was to spend another fortnight in Hertfordshire before traveling to London. Thoughts of London left Kitty a mixture of nervous and excited. There was a lot to do and see in London, and even if Lydia had found it dull, Kitty did not believe that that would be the case for herself.

There was little left to prepare other than to pack when the time came, so when Jane invited her and Georgiana into town, Kitty readily accepted the distraction. They took a carriage as the roads were becoming too cold to travel. Kitty sat across from Jane and did her best not to react when Georgiana sat beside her instead of Jane.

"Your new cloak is very pretty," Georgiana whispered, touching it lightly. Jane had given Kitty a new cloak for Christmas for London. It was a deep red and soft to the touch. Her old cloak had worked just fine, but it was faded and the ends were lightly stained.

"Thank you," Kitty whispered back, unsure why they were being quiet, but not wanting to be the one to stop.

Meryton was busy as usual, despite the chill. Kitty wondered how different London would be to the small country town. Would there be people in the streets regardless of weather?

"Georgiana, you have lived in London," Kitty began as they walked along the shops, "What is it like? How busy is it? Do people walk about even in the rain?"

"I did not go out very often when I lived in London. I was not out, so I really only saw my instructors and governess. But, the streets were always bust, even in the evening, and yes, I did see people out in the rain," Georgiana explained. They both stopped to look at some shoes in a shop window.

"I hope we do not have to go out in the rain," Kitty shook her head.

Georgiana giggled, "I do not think anyone will want us to do such a thing."

They walked some more while Jane went into a shop. The sun was out and it felt warm on Kitty's cheeks. She was thankful they had gone out.

"Kitty Bennet? Is that you?" A voice called from across the street. A group of three young women came over to greet them. Kitty could feel Georgiana stiffen slightly beside her.

"Miss Margaret and Harriet Bolton, Miss Ashbrook, it is good to see you," Kitty said, nodding to them in turn to let Georgiana know who they were. Margaret and Harriet were younger than her by a couple years and Miss Ashbrook was older, nearly as old as Elizabeth. They were her acquaintances, though not so close as to write to one another.

"Come sit with us," Harriet said, "We were about to take a rest over there," she gestured to a few benches under a large oak tree. Kitty walked with the three girls and Georgiana followed silently behind.

"This is Miss Georgiana Darcy, Mr. Darcy's sister," Kitty said as they took their seats. Georgiana dipped down slightly and smiled prettily.

"We met briefly at the ball at Netherfield," Miss Ashbrook said and when Georgiana nodded she continued, "You looked lovely. It must be so nice to be so pretty."

Kitty looked at Miss Ashbrook. She was by no means plain and the Bolton sisters rushed to assure her of such. Miss Ashbrook took the compliments gracefully after a bit of insistence.

"Your dresses both looked very nice," Margaret Bolton said and then quieter, "I was not too shocked to see Miss Russell wearing the same old dress she has worn for all the assemblies."

The three girls broke into giggles, but Kitty didn't join them. She didn't know Miss Russell. Perhaps she was new to town. It felt wrong to talk of someone she didn't know. Kitty glanced at Georgiana who only looked uncomfortable. Kitty hoped this visit would be kept short, for Georgiana's sake and perhaps her own sake as well.

"Oh, imagine if you had said something," Harriet shook her head, her words interspersed with laughs.

"Lydia would have said something wicked, oh I know it! How I miss Lydia," Miss Ashbrook said.

Kitty knew that she was right. If Lydia had been at the ball she would have gone over to the poor woman and made some remark and say it was all in jest and good fun. Elizabeth or Jane would scold the both of them on the ride home, but Lydia wouldn't have cared. She didn't care about the consequences. They were never long lasting anyway. Their mother would more often than not take her side and their father would call them silly and leave it at that.

It was easy to fall into that pattern with Lydia. Do something untoward and laugh off the reactions. Kitty would do it too, though she hadn't often been the one to jump up and insult a girl to her face, regardless how roundabout it was done. She would be the one on the sides laughing at Lydia's brashness and gossip.

If she hadn't then Lydia would have brushed her off and her friends like the Boltons and Miss Ashbrook would have probably done the same. Being lonely was a feeling that Kitty detested, but this feeling of shame was not one she liked very much either. She couldn't brush it aside like Lydia could, and maybe she shouldn't. Maybe she ought to feel shame for doing shameful things.

"Kitty, how is Lydia doing?" Harriet was asking, "She doesn't write often, but she must write to you with much more frequency."

"She is fine," Kitty said, but she wasn't positive if that was entirely true. She had not written to Lydia since she left for Netherfield. Her letters had been making Kitty uncomfortable with all the talk of flirting with other men and money. Kitty had not received a letter from Lydia since. She had told Lydia of the plans to go to Netherfield and then London, so if Lydia wanted to write she very much could.

The three girls continued to talk about how much they missed Lydia and how much they missed the officers and their opinions on everyone in town and the latest gossip. Kitty found herself growing silent. Not because she felt shy, but because she didn't want to partake in their conversation anymore. She wondered if she had changed so much as to not care for her friends any longer, or if more likely, they were never really her friends to begin with.

Finally the Bolton sisters had to continue on their way and Miss Ashbrook followed them. Kitty stood up with too much nervous energy to remain seated.

"So those are your friends?" Georgiana asked.

"I think they were more Lydia's friends. We don't write and I haven't even spoken to them for quite a long time," Kitty insisted. She bit her lip and turned away, "They were a little cruel. They barely even talked to you and when they did it was more an excuse to fish for compliments or to talk badly about another person."

"They were quite talkative and they seemed to miss your sister quite a bit," Georgiana said. She linked arms with Kitty and they made their way back toward the street.

"I think," Kitty hesitated, "I think I was like them before, when Lydia was here. I let Lydia say and do whatever she pleased and even if we both got reprimanded, I did not care enough to stop her. I would quarrel with her and be loud at home."

"It shouldn't be your responsibility to control your sister, that should be your parent's task," Georgiana shook her head, "The more I learn about Lydia the less I believe that we could be friends."

"But, you are friends with me, is that not similar enough?" Kitty asked.

Georgiana gave Kitty’s arm a squeeze, "You are not your sister, and you are not who you were before either. You are an entirely new person everyday and I firmly believe that we should base our judgements on the actions of the present."

"And what do my actions say about me now?" Kitty asked.

Georgiana thought for a moment, "you are considerate and thoughtful in your actions. You might have behaved poorly in the past, but I have not seen that side of you yet, and you really do seem apologetic about it, even though I wonder how much of Lydia's influence had to do with your past behaviors."

"I suppose we can only control our own actions," Kitty said, "Thank you, Georgiana."

Georgiana smiled and leaned into Kitty and Kitty was keenly aware of the touch.

—-----------------------------------------

Mrs. Bennet and Mary visited Netherfield once more before the party left for London. Georgiana and Mary found themselves quite happily at the piano looking over Netherfield's collection of sheet music. Kitty had not been expressly invited to join them so she sat by her mother and took the brunt of her questioning.

"So, you danced first with Mr. Price and then again later in the night?" Mrs. Bennet asked again.

Kitty tried not to sigh, "Yes, I did."

"And you did not sit with him at meal time?" She asked.

Kitty shook her head, "No, I sat with Georgiana, and I do not remember who my other partner was."

"Such a waste," Mrs. Bennet sighed, "You should have visited more. Mr. Price staying with us has been worthless with you staying so far away. You will all be together in London and I hope you do not waste such an opportunity. Mr. Price may not be nearly as rich as Mr. Darcy or Mr. Bingley, but I do not know how much better can be expected."

Kitty moved her hand to her mouth to hide her grimace. Elizabeth spoke up so that Kitty did not need to.

"It is always good when two people can find themselves comfortable in each other's presence. I am sure Mr. Price has been a good guest," Elizabeth said.

Mrs. Bennet raised her hand, "Yes, yes he has paid attentions to us all and is very polite. But we can not all be expected to make a love match. It is enough to marry well for some girls."

Kitty looked down at her hands. She did not like thinking about marriage, especially to Mr. Price. Not that Mr. Price was a bad sort of man, but to be married to someone you did not truly love seemed a fate best avoided. Kitty looked to Georgiana who was laughing at something Mary had said. Mary seemed pleased with herself.

"Perhaps, mama," Elizabeth was saying, "It would be best to not talk of Mr. Price and Kitty. Talk can make young men falter. We should let them take their own time."

"Fine," Mrs. Bennet relented, "But I expect all my daughters to write to me while you are in London. I want to know all of the details of your stay. I will be so lonely with none of my daughters at home. So alone and abandoned."

Kitty was thankful for Elizabeth, and tried to convey that sentiment with her eyes. She looked back at Georgiana and Mary. Georgiana was playing a pretty little song and Mary was sitting close beside her. They looked very nice together, both of their tense shoulders were relaxed and happy. Georgiana had a pink tint to her cheeks, and Kitty could not tell if it was from laughing or from something else.

Kitty did not want to talk about dances and opportunities. She wanted to be near Georgiana. She wanted to be the one to make her smile like she was.

"Kitty, are you alright?" Jane asked her.

Kitty took a deep breath to center herself and smiled at her sister, "I am fine, I was only thinking that this was a very nice song that Georgiana is playing."

Jane smiled, "It is very nice. Georgiana is very skilled at playing."

"Georgiana is very skilled at a lot of things. I am very lucky to be her friend," Kitty said, and kept the fact she wanted more to herself.

Chapter Text

Chapter 19: Courage and Confidence

Kitty was secretly thankful that Mary was to go to London with her aunt and uncle instead of with the Netherfield party. She was happy that Georgiana had made another friend, but their closeness gave Kitty an uneasiness. When Mary and Georgiana were together they often seemed to forget about Kitty or speak about music or things Kitty had no knowledge of and she couldn't contribute to the conversation. Kitty wanted Georgiana and Mary to be friends, but sometimes it felt like they were friends at the expense of her.

The travel to London was brief compared to the multi-day journey to and from Pemberley. Kitty sat in a carriage with Mr Darcy, Elizabeth, and Georgiana. Kitty was not afraid of Mr. Darcy any longer, but she was never sure what to say to him. He seemed to prefer silence to small talk so it worked out well enough.

During the journey, Kitty watched Mr. Darcy’s and Elizabeth's hands grow closer and closer until they tangled together. Kitty clenched her hand to fight the urge to do the same with Georgiana. They had held hands before, but the way Elizabeth laced her fingers between Mr. Darcy’s fingers filled Kitty with a sort of longing. There was an ache in her chest. She may have held hands with Georgiana before, but it meant something different for Kitty now.

She glanced at Georgiana. She was looking out the window and talking with Elizabeth about their shared experiences with London. When Georgiana caught Kitty’s eye, she smiled and Kitty returned the smile as best she could before turning close to the window to cool her face.

It took most of the trip to give Kitty enough courage to nudge her hand against Georgiana's. Once they began to make their way into the city, Kitty gave up her preoccupation with Georgiana's hand and could do little else but marvel at the streets and buildings.

Everything in London was larger than Kitty expected. Even the streets seemed wider than she thought they would be. Buildings stretched up tall enough that Kitty could not see their tops from the carriage windows. They passed a few parks that stretched out, promising paths to take walks on. They passed shops that lined the streets, including a few with the most beautiful dresses in the windows.

Mr. Darcy’s townhouse sat close to the street like most townhouses with no garden in front except a few bushes that lined the front stairs. It was tall with windows that indicated four floors. Kitty guessed it must have a basement for servant quarters as well. It was much larger than her Aunt Phillip's home in Meryton, but it had the same tall and narrow shape.

The carriage door was opened and Mr. Darcy got out first to aid the women in stepping out of the carriage. Some of the servants gathered outside to welcome them in and Elizabeth was quick to send them back inside from the cold as they had no coats or shawls on.

"I can show you to your room Kitty," Georgiana said and then turned to her brother, "She will stay beside me in the blue room right?"

When Mr. Darcy gave a nod of agreement, Georgiana took Kitty’s arm and led her inside the house. Kitty did not have time to look around the first or even second floor as they ascended the stairs right near the entrance and followed them up and around and up again to the third floor.

The third floor looked home to many of the bedrooms with a long hallway with a thick carpet that softened their footsteps. The doors were thick and most were open to reveal guest rooms.

"I am glad we are so close together. Our rooms will be right beside each other. We can visit often," Georgiana said.

Kitty giggled, "We are in the same house, I think we could visit even if our rooms were separated."

"Well we could not visit at night. We would wake everyone if we went traveling throughout the house," Georgiana answered.

"At night? What would we do at night?" Kitty asked, looking away. Her thoughts suddenly filled with the idea of being so alone with Georgiana. Of sitting close to her, on the same bed even. Of her leaning in. Of them kissing.

"We could talk," Georgiana shrugged, "Are you alright? Your face is very red."

"It must be from the cold," Kitty said hurriedly. She had never thought about kissing before. Lydia had talked of it frequently and had even claimed to have kissed a boy before when they were younger, although Kitty often wondered how true that story was. Lydia had made it sound like something fun and mischievous to do. Kitty had never paid it much mind. It had seemed similar to flirting, something that had never really interested her. Now it felt different. Now thinking about kissing Georgiana felt like something sweet and pretty.

"Well, let's get you inside your room and get a fire going," Georgiana said, leading them to one of the open doorways.

The wallpaper was indeed blue, lending to the room's name. When Kitty inspected it closer it showed a pattern of small dots. The bed was a bit smaller than she was used to, but it was plenty big enough for her. Her bed at home had once been shared with Lydia, but with her gone it had honestly been too big for her. Covering the bed was a thick cream colored blanket and a light blue, knitted blanket sat folded on the end of the bed.

Georgiana was true to her word and had a servant quickly come to light a fire in the room. And when her luggage was delivered, Kitty set to work unpacking. When she had finished the room had warmed well enough to be comfortable.

Beside the window was a cushioned bench. Kitty sat down and opened the window to look out at the street below. The carriage had been moved, and a few people were walking along. Kitty could see a couple with their arms linked, and a gentleman on a horse. Kitty sat and watched out the window for a while. She did not feel as nervous about London any longer. In fact, Kitty was excited.

—----------------------------------------------

The Darcys and Kitty spent the first couple days in London at home getting comfortable. This suited Kitty quite well. She was interested in visiting some of the shops, but there was no hurry. Spending time with Georgiana was pleasant enough, and it did not matter where they spent their time.

Georgiana visited Kitty the second evening since they had arrived and they sat together talking. Kitty did not often see Georgiana with her hair down. It was braided and hung over her shoulder.

"Are you nervous?" Georgiana asked her. A candle flickered in one corner, sending a shadow across Georgiana's face.

"Nervous about London?" Kitty asked and continued when Georgiana nodded, "I think I was at the start. Before we even left for Netherfield, I worried a great deal about it. But now, I do not find it quite so terrifying. I think it will be fun. We will go to parks and shops and so long as we are together I cannot think of what I would be nervous about."

Georgiana smiled, "I envy your confidence."

"Are you not confident as well? You have lived in London before. If one of us should have our nerves reassured, I would think it would be you," Kitty said. The fire kept the room warm, but still she pulled the knit blanket close around her shoulders.

"I was only a child," Georgiana countered, even though Kitty knew that it had not been so long ago that Georgiana had stayed in London. Kitty did not protest. She knew what it was like to feel much older than one had felt only a year ago.

Georgiana continued, "I was not out like I am now. I would hardly go out except for the occasional walk. Most of my time was spent inside, studying or practicing one skull or another. Now we will be going to dances and events."

"Are you nervous about the dances?" Kitty asked.

"I am nervous about what they mean," Georgiana said.

"And, what do they mean?" Kitty asked. Kitty didn't like to see Georgiana so hesitant and full of nerves around her. If she couldn't calm her friend, what good was she to her?

"The rooms and the assemblies and the dances and the parties are all truly meant to find a husband. Now more than before, the others will expect us to look for partners. Is that not why we are in London?" Georgiana explained.

"I had not considered that," Kitty answered honestly. It was true that she had thought little of finding a husband. Kitty had never really given it much thought ever. Lydia had talked of finding a husband and dreamed of it, but it had never really interested Kitty. Now, the idea of settling down with a man did not sit right with her. Had she ever wanted to fall in love with a man?

"My brother has been protective of me, especially after the incident with Mr. Wickham. But now I fear he will expect me to find a gentleman that I fancy," Georgiana said. She pulled her shawl tighter around her shoulders and looked down.

Kitty went over to sit beside Georgiana on the seat beside the window. She pulled Georgiana's hands into her own, "I do not think you need to worry so very much. Your brother would not be so quick to marry you off, if that were the case he would find a suitable gentleman himself and be done with it. No, Mr. Darcy has found love, and I would be surprised if he does not wish the same for you."

Georgiana squeezed Kitty’s hands, "Do you really think so?"

Kitty nodded, "He may encourage you to find a partner, and Elizabeth mat do the same, but neither will expect anything less than a love match."

"And if I never want to marry a man?" Georgiana asked.

"You will still have your family," Kitty said, mirroring what Elizabeth had said to her and then adding, "and you will have me."

"Not if you find someone to marry," Georgiana said quietly into their clasped hands.

Kitty bit her lip. She did not want to marry anyone except Georgiana. She couldn't tell her friend that though. Instead she smiled and said, "I really have no intention of marrying or falling in love with anyone here in London. I want to enjoy the sights and spend my time with you and our families."

Georgiana looked up and smiled softly, "Do you mean that?"

"Of course I mean it," Kitty insisted.

They sat quietly after that, their hands still intertwined. Kitty brushed her thumb over the top of Georgiana's hand. She tried to imagine what her life could be. Perhaps she could become a spinster and help Jane and Elizabeth with their future children and spend her days visiting Georgiana and her family. Her family might ask her why she never married, and they might find her burdensome, but Kitty did not want to marry someone she did not love.

Georgiana was luckier. She had a dowry she could always draw from and a brother who did not find her a bother. Georgiana might still fall in love herself. Kitty thought of Mary and how they seemed to get along so well. If Georgiana fell in love, Kitty would support her, even if it hurt just to think about. Kitty could hardly imagine what it would feel if it was to actually happen.

Being beside Georgiana would have to be enough for Kitty. It must be, because it was more than she could hope for.

Georgiana was falling asleep where she sat, her head nodding lightly to the side. Kitty smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind Georgiana's ear. The movement made Georgiana open her eyes and smile. They were so close and Kitty suddenly thought again about kissing Georgiana. Her breath caught in her throat.

"I should go to sleep I suppose," Georgiana murmured and Kitty leaned back and took a shaky breath.

"Yes, you are falling asleep. Your bed is bound to be more comfortable than this seat," Kitty smiled. She helped Georgiana to her feet and Georgiana woke up enough to say her goodbyes and make her way back to her own room.

Kitty took a moment to calm her fluttering heart and quickened breath and sprawled out in her own bed, staring at the ceiling. Being alone with Georgiana was dangerous. It made Kitty think dangerous thoughts and want dangerous things. She would need to be careful from now on, or her feelings might become too strong to conceal. She resolved to do better but still fell asleep thinking of Georgiana.

Chapter Text

Chapter 20: Newfound and Newfangled

It was soon clear to Kitty that news of Mr. Darcy’s arrival had spread through certain social circles in London. He received invitations daily as did Georgiana. Mr. Darcy did not look through most of his letters and invites and Georgiana only held onto the ones the specifically mentioned Kitty as well.

It did not bother Kitty that she was excluded from many of the invitations, in fact it surprised her more to be included in any them. She really only knew her family in London.

Elizabeth was invited as Mrs. Darcy in many of the invitations. There were balls and tea parties and many other events. It seemed that everyone in London wanted to see Mr. Darcy and his family.

Elizabeth finally settled on a cards party invitation that was sent to Georgiana. It mentioned both Kitty and Elizabeth and was being held by a Mrs. Lewis. Elizabeth had met her through Mrs. Gardiner, and knew her to be a proper and good sort of woman. She had a granddaughter around Kitty and Georgiana's age and often threw parties for the young people of society.

"It will be a good introduction to London society. There will be girls your age there and I will come along as well," Elizabeth had explained to them. Mr. Darcy would not be attending with them, and had instead made plans to dine with another group of gentlemen. Kitty had been to dinner parties with card games following before. It had been a favorite of her Aunt Phillip's, especially when the soldiers had been in town.

Kitty wore her green dress and white gloves, but wished she didn't need to wear her gloves when Georgiana linked their arms together. Georgiana was quiet and nervous and Kitty gave her arm a squeeze to calm her.

"It really will not be so terrible. A dinner party is usually very casual," Kitty said in a hope to reassure her.

"What is London society is different? " Georgiana whispered back.

Kitty thought for a moment, "If you are having a terrible time, I can tell Elizabeth that I have a headache and we can go home." Georgiana smiled at that and they went down to the carriage together.

London only got busier as evening fell. There was the theater and concerts and balls and parties and everyone was going somewhere. All the moment was exciting for Kitty, but she thought that perhaps she perfered the slower sort of life that the country offered.

Mrs. Lewis's home was smaller than Mr. Darcy’s, but only just barely. It was mostly red brick with white trim and looked very pretty with candles in nearly every window. It was a warm, inviting sort of house and Kitty liked it immensely. She knew that it was not fair to judge a person based on their home, but Kitty felt she already liked Mrs. Lewis and felt at ease already.

They were not the first to arrive, even though they came exactly at seven, as the invitation instructed. There were already many people in the parlor sitting around a few tables that had been set up in the room. They had passed around games room with a billiard table and Kitty had spotted a few gentlemen playing a game in there, the sent of smoke wafting through.

Most of the people were young, around their ages, with only a few older women sitting to the side of the room on a cluster of couches. The oldest of them stood when a servant announced their arrival and made her way over to Elizabeth.

Mrs. Lewis was plump and had wrinkles about her eyes from smiling so much in her youth. Kitty thought they were a good sort of wrinkles to have, ones that came from a life of joy. Mrs. Lewis wore a dress that was a little old in the style of shape, but the purple color was quite pretty and the white lace details were very fine.

"Mrs. Darcy, it is so good of you to come, and it is lovely to see you again. You were in town but a month ago when I saw you," Mrs. Lewis exclaimed, she reached her hands out to grasp Elizabeth's, but was good enough to wait until Elizabeth pushed her hands closer as an approval of the gesture to grap them.

"Yes Mrs. Lewis, my husband and I were in town for a bit before the holidays and now we are back for the season. We have brought some family as well. May I introduce you to Mr. Darcy’s sister, Miss Georgiana Darcy, and one of my sister's, Miss Kitty Bennet," Elizabeth moved to introduce the two of them and they both curtsied at their names.

"Yes, yes, Miss Darcy and Miss Bennet! It is so good to meet you, but I am sure you two are far more interested in meeting the young folk who have gathered here, not some old woman," Mrs. Lewis laughed.

Georgiana did not seem to know how to respond so Kitty spoke up, "Thank you for inviting us. We have not been in London for long, it was good of you to think of us." It still felt weird to respond, instead of just letting Lydia speak, but the smile Elizabeth gave Kitty let her know she had done well.

Mrs. Lewis smiled, "It is no trouble at all. I love throwing these little parties and I love seeing the young people having a good time. Come, come, I will introduce you to my granddaughter and some of the young ladies who are here already."

They followed Mrs. Lewis to a group of three young ladies who were sitting around a card table. She first gestured to a tall girl who sat hunched in her seat looking like she very much did not want to be there.

"This is my lovely granddaughter, Miss Nora Lewis," Mrs. Lewis said. The girl could not nod or bow, as she was already as low as she could be.

"These are her friends, Miss Molly Grove and Miss Anne Harris," Mrs. Lewis continued, not paying mind to the meek reaction from her granddaughter. The other girls gave their hellos with ease. Kitty and Georgiana were then introduced as well.

Molly smiled brightly and added, "Oh, this is just perfect. Please sit with us, we can have another chair pulled up. You see, Nora prefers to watch us play and with the two of you that makes four players which is exactly what we need."

As she promised, another chair was fetched from the wall and they all made room to accommodate Georgiana and Kitty. Elizabeth went to sit with the other married women and guardians. Anne began to deal the cards and explain the game they were playing.

Molly would often interject with her own comments and little jokes. She had a round face with more freckles than Kitty had and dark red hair that was pulled back into two braids that twisted into a bun. She was certainly the lively one of the group, and the others seemed to tolerate her interruptions with ease. Molly had the plainest dress of the three, but it suited her figure well and it was not quite so plain, Kitty thought.

Nora sat close to Molly, almost as if hiding from Kitty and Georgiana. She had yet to speak a word to anyone and nervously played with a fan in her hands, turning it over and over. She had black hair that was mostly pulled back, save for a fringe that she seemed to hide behind. Nora's skin was bright and clear from what Kitty could see of it and she had pretty eyes that were often looking more down than up. She had what looked to be a new dress and Kitty thought the embroidery on it was very beautiful. She would have told her so, if Kitty did not think that the attention would be much unwanted.

Anne had finished explaining the rules to Georgiana and was dealing the cards. She was the eldest of the three and the most serious. She had dirty blond hair that curled nicely without much frizz and a long neck and graceful shoulders. She seemed to enjoy taking the lead and keeping the game flowing smoothly, but she was not pushy. She let Molly talk and Georgiana ask questions and Nora stay silent.

"So where do you both come from?" Molly asked them from over her cards.

"I come from Hertfordshire. My father has an estate there, Longbourne," Kitty answered.

"I have not heard of it, I am sorry," Molly answered earnestly.

Kitty shook her head, "There is no need to apologize, I would not expect someone not from the area to have heard of it."

"I come from Derbyshire," Georgiana answered quietly.

"That is near Cheshire," Anne said, dealing another hand, "I am your neighbor then, although I live closer to the sea than Derbyshire technically."

"Anne's home is so very nice! Is it not, Nora?" Molly exclaimed, turning to Nora and then turning back when Nora made no reply, "I am jealous because Nora and I live in London all year long. We do not have country estates. We visited Anne in the summer. Perhaps we might visit your estates as well now!"

"Molly," Anne cautioned, "Do not invite yourself to places, especially when you have just met a person. I apologize, Miss Bennet and Miss Darcy, Miss Grove can become excitable, but she means well."

"Oh yes, I mean very well! I would never presume to force myself into a place I am not welcome. I am sorry. Of course I would only hope to visit if we become friends, but I do have a way about these things, you see. I can tell when someone is to become a good acquaintance. You both seem very nice and I hope I have not scared you off," Molly said hurriedly.

Kitty giggled, "I am not offended."

"Neither am I," Georgiana added.

Kitty found the group of girls to be very agreeable. They were all polite and nice and paid both her and Georgiana equal attentions. Molly had gotten so excited at the prospect of sending letters that she had paused the game to acquire parchment and ink to exchange addresses.

When they finally finished their game the room had filled in quite nicely. It was lively and the atmosphere was cheerful, but it was not too overwhelming to anyone except perhaps poor Miss Nora Lewis. Kitty often caught the eye of Elizabeth, but they both shared easy smiles and Elizabeth did not interrupt their game.

Some of the gentlemen had made their way into the room and some had claimed a card table for themselves. A group of five gentlemen actually were making their way towards Kitty's table. They were led by two men who looked quite the same with Molly's dark red hair. One smiled mischievously while the other smiled warmly past Molly and at Anne.

The mischievous one spoke first, "Molly, do you spend your time at the same table every time we visit the Lewis's? Do you not crave variety?"

Molly bristled, "It is a good table and it is good company. Why would I want anything else?"

"Brandon, do not tease our sister," the other man said he then turned to Nora, "Good evening Miss. Lewis, thank you for the invitation,"

Nora gave the briefest nod and ducked behind Nora for the remainder of the interaction. Most seemed used to the behavior. The man then turned to Anne.

"Good evening Miss. Harris," his voice was warm.

Anne smiled back, "Good evening Mr. Grove. I hope you have been well since we last spoke."

"Very well," Mr. Grove nodded, "Better now though."

Kitty watched the interaction between the two with interest. It was clear there was some sort of affection on both parts.

"Do you have plans to join us at the theater on Tuesday? " Anne asked.

"Of course, so long as you will be there Miss. Harris," Mr. Grove answered and then added, "I hope to call on you tomorrow if that will be permissible,"

The other Grove brother, Brandon seemed to grow weary of being excluded from conversation and turned back towards Molly, "Will you introduce us to your new companions or am I to guess their names?"

Molly wrinkled her nose at him but then sighed and said, "This is Miss Kitty Bennet and Miss Georgiana Darcy."

Brandon Grove seemed to center on Georgiana and even did not greet Kitty so that he might focus all of his attention on Georgiana.

"Miss Darcy, it is a great pleasure to meet you, I am Brandon Grove," he gave a bow that seemed too serious for the situation, but was otherwise very polite. Georgiana introduced herself quietly and even let Brandon shake her hand. The other gentlemen in their party were introduced and soon everyone was very well acquainted.

One of the gentlemen seemed to find interest in Kitty. He was a tall man with pleasant features and thick black hair. He had been introduced as a Mr. Alexander Huxley, and had hung back while the Grove brothers took the lead. Only when Anne and Mr. Grove went to sit by themselves in one corner did Mr. Huxley take Anne's now vacant seat to sit beside Kitty. Brandon Grove and his two other companions had moved on to take over their own table to start their own game. He made sure to bid Georgiana farewell.

"It is odd," Mr. Huxley began, speaking low enough that Kitty had to lean in to hear him properly, "It can sometimes feel as though you know a person when only just meeting them."

"That is strange," Kitty agreed. She wondered if he perhaps meant her, but that felt silly.

"How long have you been in town, Miss Bennet?" Mr. Huxley continued.

"Not long at all, not even a week so far," Kitty answered.

"So you have yet to experience the wonders of London. Perhaps you need a guide to help you. I have only recently arrived as well, except this is not my first time," Mr. Huxley said.

Kitty smiled, "That is why I am thankful to have my sister here and her husband. They have both spent time in London before."

Georgiana and Molly were discussing other card games and Nora was shuffling the cards, her fan abandoned. Kitty would much rather be talking with them, but Mr. Huxley seemed insistent on continuing their conversation.

He asked her about her family and home and kept her talking for a good portion of the party. He talked of himself as well. He was the only son of a gentleman and had inherited his property after the unfortunate passing of his father a couple years prior.

When they all played another round without Anne, Mr. Huxley was quick to be Kitty’s partner and complimented her playing at every opportunity.

When Elizabeth finally said they were to leave, Mr. Huxley stood as well and took Kitty’s hand and gave it a kiss. Kitty's face flushed, and her first instinct was to pull her hand away, but she managed to keep herself composed. Anne broke away from Mr. Grove to say her goodbyes with the other girls and even Brandon Grove came back over to say goodbye to Georgiana.

Kitty was at least partially thankful to be out of the warm and loud rooms and into the cool night air. They slid into the carriage and began their way home.

"So, how was it?" Elizabeth asked.

Georgiana smiled, " It was very nice."

"We met a lot of nice people," Kitty said.

"Including a Mr. Huxley," Georgiana giggled.

Kitty let herself laugh instead of being embarrassed and added, "And a Mr. Brandon Grove."

Georgiana turned red and laughed behind her hands. Elizabeth seemed interested and asked, "Oh? Did you meet some interesting gentlemen?"

"I suppose you could call them interesting," Kitty mused, "But I would quicker call them forward. Neither were rude people, but I think their temperaments were lacking."

"Mr. Huxley was quite bold. He sat next to you without even asking and kissed your hand," Georgiana added.

"You don't need to let men take advantage of your good nature, Kitty. You have my permission to refuse a gentleman's advances," Elizabeth said seriously.

Kitty was quick to correct her, "I promise nothing was out of place in Mr. Huxley's manners. I know I can turn to you if any problems arise."

"Good," Elizabeth said, and the three of them turned to more pleasant topics of the evening. Kitty smiled. If every outing in London was like this, then Kitty thought that she could get used to London very nicely.

Chapter Text

Chapter 21: Poise and Pomp

Kitty had never been so busy in her life. London had something going on nearly every day and every evening. At Longbourn they had often dined with the families in the neighborhood and Meryton would have a ball every month during the winter season. Her Aunt Phillip would often hold dinner parties and lunches. But despite all that, Kitty could go days where she did not leave her home. This of course became a much more frequent outcome once Lydia had married.

In London, the socializing never ended. They had to be careful not to insult too many people by not attending their events. Mr. Darcy gave that little regard, but he held a much more comfortable position in society than Kitty did. Elizabeth was indispensable in helping Kitty know which invitations to accept and which were sent more for courtesy than expectation.

After Mrs. Lewis's card party they went to have tea with Molly Grove and Nora Lewis and visited some rooms during the day and ran into Anne Harris. They went to dinner parties that were held more for the hope of seeing Mr. Darcy than the women.

Kitty had been keen to walk some of the parks they had passed on their way into town, so one morning She and Elizabeth set off to one of the closer parks. Georgiana stayed behind and when they returned they were surprised to find Mrs. Gardiner, Mary, and Mr. Price had stopped by unannounced. They had been in the area and decided to stop by for a quick visit. Georgiana had received them and they had not been there a half hour before Kitty and Elizabeth had returned.

Kitty sat near Mr. Price and Elizabeth by Mrs. Gardiner and Georgiana was already beside Mary. They had all paired off nicely, and Kitty only felt a bit of disappointment to see Mary and Georgiana so content together.

"How have you been Miss Bennet?" Mr. Price asked.

"Very well, I must admit that I like your London quite a bit," Kitty answered. There was a stiffness to the way Mr. Price was sitting, he glanced over at Georgiana and Mary and then Elizabeth and Mrs. Gardiner before returning to the conversation, all politeness.

"I am glad to hear that, but I must admit that it is not my London. I do own any part of it," Mr. Price said.

"You will eventually. Do you not still plan to own a home here?" Kitty pressed.

Mr. Price smiled almost sadly, "Yes, that is my plan, but it is something that will take a while. Years even. Would that be alright?"

"Why would it matter how I felt about it?" Kitty thought for a moment, "Oh! If you are worried that my Aunt and Uncle may not want to host you until that time, I would not worry. My Uncle is a smart man. He must understand the costs of homes and such things."

"Well, I might rent something for myself, a small apartment," Mr. Price continued, "That may be done quickly."

"But, why the hesitation?" Kitty asked.

"I would not be able to save as quickly, and if I were to marry, it would be no place for a wife or a family to follow." Mr. Price said.

"Oh," Kitty breathed, finally grasping the situation. She was quiet for a moment and then asked tentatively, "Are you in search of a wife?"

Mr. Price let out a laugh, "I have no mission to seek out one, but sometimes we do not control what comes before us, or what others expect of us. I cannot think only of myself."

"Well, I hope you think of yourself, at least a little," Kitty said. She wanted to put her hand on his arm, but she wasn't sure how appropriate that would be, or what the others in the room would make of it, so she kept her hands to herself.

You as well, Miss Bennet. Make sure you are still pursuing what you want," Mr. Price said earnestly.

Kitty could not help but glance at Georgiana, "I am not sure exactly what I want."

"You will figure it out," Mr. Price smiled.

When Mrs. Gardiner decided they must take their leave, Mr. Price stiffened and turned to Kitty.

"Miss Bennet, may I call on you again soon?" Mr. Price asked.

"Of course," Kitty smiled, "I would like that very much."

Mrs. Gardiner and Elizabeth smiled at their exchange and Mary stood up with a start, ignoring them all. Georgiana stood up after Mary and took her hands, "I hope you come to visit again as well, Mary."

Mary softened her shoulders at the remark and answered, "I will be most happy to visit again with you Georgiana. Our talks are always a highlight of my day."

Kitty watched Mary take her leave with the others. She found herself staring at her sister hard enough to feel ashamed of her actions. It was uncommon for Mary to be so kind to someone. Not that she was ever impolite on purpose, but her brashness and her tendency to prefer her own company often led her to seem cold. But now, with Georgiana, Mary had seemed warm and happy. It may had been a gradual change, but Kitty had not seen it.

When Elizabeth went to go see Mr. Darcy and Georgiana and Kitty were alone, Kitty took the opportunity to ask Georgiana about the change.

"Mary seems well," Kitty began, trying to sound much more casual than she felt.

"Yes, I think she is settling into London quite well. She has your aunt and uncle and Mr. Price to keep her company while she adjusts," Georgiana said.

"She is looking very pretty too," Kitty continued. It wasn't a lie, but Georgiana's opinion meant more than her own.

"She has always looked pretty. You have pretty sisters," Georgiana smiled.

Kitty could feel a knot in her throat, "There are a lot of pretty girls in London. I'm sure one must have caught your eye by now."

"Oh," Georgiana breathed, her cheeks growing pink, "We have not been in London very long, but, I suppose so."

"You suppose so?" Kitty asked.

"Yes," Georgiana corrected.

"So you like someone then?" Kitty said quietly. A pang of hope shot through Kitty. What if it was her. What if Georgiana said that it was her right this moment?

"I've found myself growing close to a woman," Georgiana looked to her lap and took a deep breath, "I am unsure of her feelings though."

Kitty bit her lip, disappointment washing over her. She had not said it was Kitty so it must be someone else. It must be Mary. She thought of Mary's words during her departure, "I would not be surprised if she feels the same way."

Georgiana looked up, her eyes wide, "Do you think so? I know things are much harder when it is two women. I feel like I cannot assume anything."

It would not be hard with me, Kitty could not help but think. She knew it was not true, that hardships would fall upon any relationship between two women, but that was not how she felt. It seemed like no distance at all between her and Georgiana. She was not tall or smart like Mary, but she could hold Georgiana with the softness that she deserved. She could tell her the sweet things she ought to hear.

"Love feels so far out of my reach," Georgiana admitted, "I do not know how to even tell her how I feel." Suddenly the distance spread out between them like an ocean. Georgiana's small smile was not meant for her, it was for Mary.

—-------------------------------------------------

It was not until two weeks into their stay in London that gentlemen came to call on them. First was Mr. Price. He came in his nice brown jacket and by himself. Kitty was happy to see him and sat with him readily. They exchanged pleasantries and Elizabeth pulled Georgiana to the piano to play for them. Elizabeth kept a close eye on them, as if worried they might scoot closed or hold hands. Kitty wondered if they would ever leave the two of them alone. Could a man and woman not be friends with each other without others wondering if they might fall in love.

About fifteen minutes into Mr. Price’s visit, they were interrupted. Mr. Brandon Grove and Mr. Huxley made their way into the sitting room. Both held bouquets of flowers, Mr. Grove with lilies and Mr. Huxley with a larger bouquet of roses. Elizabeth and Georgiana made their way back to the couches.

"It is so lovely to see you all again," Mr. Huxley said, "Especially you, Miss. Bennet." He offered Kitty the bouquet of roses. They were freshly bought, still wet at the ends and wrapped in paper. Kitty took the bouquet but held it away from her lap to keep from getting wet.

"Thank you," Kitty said, "Perhaps we can find a vase for them?" She held the flowers out to the maid who readily took them and then the other bouquet that had been given to Georgiana.

"I do not think we have been introduced," Mr. Huxley turned to Mt. Price and then added, when Mr. Price was introduced, "And where are your flowers? They must be being prepared for a vase as well? I can only assume that must be the reason you are empty handed."

Mr. Price's face flushed lightly but he did not respond. Mr. Huxley seemed satisfied with this as he took the spot beside Kitty on the couch.

"Oh, Miss Bennet, do you embroider?" Mr. Huxley asked, gesturing to the hoop beside her in the table.

"I do," Kitty said and then hastily added when Mr. Huxley grabbed the hoop to inspect the work, "Oh, that piece is not done and it is just for practice!"

Mr. Huxley studied the stitches with such intensity that Kitty wondered if he had the skill himself. Eventually he handed the hoop to Kitty but as she grasped it, he did not let go, leaving them looking at each other.

"You have a delicate talent for bringing beauty to the surface," Mr. Huxley said, almost too quietly. Kitty looked to Elizabeth and Georgiana but they were caught up in their own interaction with Mr. Grove.

Kitty leaned back as far as she could without getting too close to Mr. Price either, "You certainly seem to have an interest in embroidery."

"Of course. My cousin loves embroidery and I spent a great deal of time with her growing up. I have an eye for beauty," Mr. Huxley said smiling.

"That must be nice," Kitty nodded. She turned to Mr. Price, hoping to speak about something other than beauty. "Mr. Price, the weather has been unseasonably warm. Have you been for many walks?"

"I have. Mrs. Gardiner is fond of morning strolls so I often find myself accompanying her and Mary. The weather has been nice, but not as nice as my time in your Hertfordshire," Mr Price said.

Kitty laughed, "If you are to call it my Hertfordshire then you must concede to London being referred to as yours."

Mr. Price smiled, "If I must."

Mr. Huxley did not smile, "Miss Bennet, if you are fond of the country, then you must come visit my country home. It is very impressive and well built."

"I do like the country, but that may be because I have grown up there. I have found London to be exceedingly pleasant as well," Kitty explained.

"I think," Mr. Price spoke up, "so long as you are surrounded by good company that you may find any place to be agreeable."

"Yes! Yes! Good company can lift any spirit," Mr. Huxley said.

Kitty glanced at Georgiana and nodded, "Yes, I can agree as well."

Mr. Huxley went on to talk of his estate and its grounds and rooms. Kitty tried to listen, but Mr. Huxley spoke too quickly and with too much enthusiasm that it was easy to feel as if she were lost in just his words. Finally he stopped when fresh tea was brought and Kitty could finally steer the conversation to something less confusing.

"Mr. Price are you going to come to Baker Park with us next Saturday? I believe my aunt and uncle and Mary are coming. Jane and Mr. Bingley too. It will be the first time since we arrived in London that everyone will be together again," Kitty said.

"I should not wish to miss an opportunity like that," Mr. Price said.

"Baker Park you say?" Mr. Huxley leaned in. Kitty tried to make her move back away from him look natural.

"Uh, yes," Kitty nodded.

"I have heard their riding paths are quite nice. I have been wanting to visit for a while, but I haven't had an excuse to go," Mr. Huxley continued.

"Do you need an excuse to visit a park?" Kitty questioned.

Mr. Huxley smiled widely, "No, I suppose not. I look forward to running into you on Saturday."

Kitty frowned and thought over her words. Had she invited Mr. Huxley? Would her family be annoyed with her? She was annoyed with herself. Spending time with Mr. Huxley was taxing. She would rather not do it at all if given the choice.

A maid came in and set a vase down on a side table. Bright red roses filled the vase, and Kitty found that she did not like them very much at all.

Chapter Text

Chapter 22: Affection and Adulation

Saturday proved to be just as nice as the days leading up to it. The sun shone brightly in a cloudless sky and the weather was mild for the time of year. It promised to be a good day for their outing.

Kitty met with the others downstairs with her bonnet and new cloak already on. She smiled when she saw Georgiana waiting in her cloak as well.

Kitty went to stand beside Georgiana, their cloaks brushing against each other. Kitty wanted to stay by Georgiana's side the entire day, and she was determined to do so, no matter who spoke with her. She had told Georgiana and Elizabeth about Mr. Huxley inviting himself to the park, and Elizabeth had been annoyed, but not at Kitty thankfully. Georgiana had held her anger until they had been alone. They both agreed that they did not like Mr. Huxley's manners, or lack thereof.

"It will be nice to see the Bingleys finally. It has been nearly a fortnight since I last saw any of them," Georgiana said as they made their way to the carriage.

"London is too big, I miss everyone being together in Netherfield," Kitty agreed.

Baker Park was a long rectangular shape that curved at its southern end. A man-made lake cut the park nearly in half. It was too cold to take a boat on the lake, but there were some available for the warmer months. There were paths meant for walking and some for riding and when they exited the carriage Kitty saw a couple with their horses in the distance.

They were the first to arrive at their specified location at the park, but the Gardiners and Mary and Mr. Price arrived soon after. Kitty was surprised to see that Mary had a little curl to her hair that peeked out of her bonnet. Georgiana noticed too because she was quick to go over to Mary.

"Your hair, Mary, it's different!" Georgiana said. Kitty’s eyes widened at Mary's blush, but she didn't say anything about it.

Mrs. Gardiner smiled, "Yes, we decided to try something new."

"You look nice, Mary," Elizabeth said. As they talked Mr. Gardiner and Mr. Darcy broke away to discuss the plans for the day.

"Good day, Miss Bennet," Mr. Price said, stepping towards Kitty. He held in his hands a tiny bouquet of wildflowers. They were tied together with a bit of twine and ribbon.

Mr. Price's face reddened, "I know it is no rose bouquet."

"No," Kitty shook her head, smiling, "It is beautiful, thank you."

Kitty took the flowers and spun them around in her hands. Mr. Price reached into his pocket and produced two more identical wildflower bouquets and presented them to Georgiana and Mary. Kitty felt a relief at not being singled out. Georgiana's flowers went into her pocket almost immediately, but Mary held onto hers stiffly until Mrs. Gardiner offered to put them into the carriage for safe keeping, but Mary refused. Kitty put hers in her pocket as well, careful not to crush them.

The Bingley's arrived shortly after. Their party consisted only of Jane and Mr. Bingley and Miss Bingley. Mrs. Hurst and her husband had remained at home. Kitty was disappointed to see that Lady Bingley was not a part of their party today. Miss Bingley looked somewhat out of sorts without the companionship of her sister. She would be forced to converse with everyone else today unless she wished to remain silent.

Jane came to hug each of the women, and looked perfectly happy and excited for the day. Mr Bingley was just as excitable as he greeted all the men with vigorous handshakes and happy greetings. Kitty caught Georgiana's eye and raised her eyebrows and they both giggled.

They had the plan to walk along the main walking path of the park. It circled through the park and around the lake and had some of the best views of the water. Mr. Darcy had arranged for food to be brought to them at the end of their walk and they would sit and have themselves a nice picnic so long as the weather continued like it did.

The couples partnered together along the path with linked arms. Mr. Price took Mary's arm and Kitty thought it proper as she was older. He had looked to Miss Bingley first, but she had quickly dismissed his glance and made her way over to Georgiana. Kitty was left alone, but it did not bother her much. She would have liked the excuse to take Georgiana's arm, but so long as Mary and Georgiana were separate, her jealousy abated enough to ignore it.

Kitty walked close enough behind Georgiana and Miss Bingley that she might hear their conversation. She wasn't particularly interested in eavesdropping until Miss Bingley asked, "Georgiana, I have heard that you have already had gentlemen callers. Have you found any to your liking?"

Georgiana hunched her shoulders just a bit before answering, "There is someone I think I might like, in a romantic sense that is."

"Oh?" Miss Bingley said, "Well, who is it?"

"I couldn't say!" Georgiana stuttered.

Miss Bingley laughed, "Fine, I will not press you for his name, but at least tell me what he is like. Does he come from a good family?"

"I've met their family and I like them all very much," Georgiana said.

"That is a good start," Miss Bingley nodded.

"They are kind and polite and smart," Georgiana continued, "I haven't known them very long, but I already can't imagine liking anyone as much as I like them."

"That sounds like love," Miss Bingley said.

"Oh! Love?" Georgiana whispered, but she didn't deny it.

Kitty bit her lip and looked away when Georgiana glanced in her direction. Kitty didn't feel very kind or polite or smart. If she were kind she would be happy for Georgiana. Mary was polite and very smart and if Kitty wouldn't consider her exceptionally kind, she could at least admit that Mary was never mean.

A sort of finality settled over Kitty. At least now she could be more sure that Georgiana had feelings for Mary, and Mary might even reciprocate them. Kitty wasn't sure what she would do with the disappointment. She wasn't sure she could support them. Her own feelings stood in the way.

She wouldn't try to ruin their chance at happiness though. She could be resolved in that, if anything. She was not the type of person to try and tear two people apart if they did love each other.

The party continued their walk and Kitty tried to enjoy the views that the park afforded, but her thoughts were distracting. Eventually Jane and Mr. Bingley trailed back enough to walk with Kitty.

"It is a splendid day, is it not Miss Bennet," Mr. Bingley said cheerfully.

Kitty smiled, "It is, the weather is particularly nice."

"It is," Mr. Bingley agreed.

"Lady Bingley mentions you often," Jane told Kitty, "She misses your company."

"I miss her too," Kitty said, "I had hoped to see her today, but the walking might have been too much for her."

"Yes, but you should come visit with her soon. You are always welcome," Mr. Bingley said.

Kitty thanked him and he began to talk about their plans to look in Derbyshire for a house for her. That took Kitty by surprise.

"You do not wish to settle Lady Bingley closer to you and Netherfield?" Kitty asked.

Jane and Mr. Bingley exchanged looks, as if Mr. Bingley had said too much. Kitty waited, not wanting to press them if they didn't want her to know something.

Finally Jane spoke quietly, "We might look at homes for ourselves in Derbyshire as well. It would be nice to be close to Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. But, please don't tell mother that we have any thoughts of giving up Netherfield. I don't want her to be upset."

"I will not say anything," Kitty promised. She felt a bit of disappointment. It seemed that everyone she cared about was moving to Derbyshire and leaving her behind. Mr. Bingley and Jane looked relieved, so Kitty was thankful for that.

"Oh no," Kitty whispered before she could help herself. Ahead of them on the curve of the wide path was Mr. Huxley coming their way. His face brightened when he saw their party leaving Kitty to feel shame for the wave of disappointment she felt.

Mr. Huxley stopped to greet the party as they approached one by one before finally reaching Kitty in the rear of the parade. He smiled at her as if they were both sharing a jest that only they knew, but Kitty did not return the gesture.

Instead, Kitty dipped slightly and said only, “Good day, Mr. Huxley.”

“Oh, this day is much improved now that you are here to brighten it! I can only praise my good fortune as to happen upon such a happy party. I am very lucky, am I not Miss Bennet?”

Mr. Bingley and Jane separated themselves from Kitty and made their way forward to give her and the new arrival space. Kitty had half a mind to ask them to stay, but she worried that Mr. Huxley would ask her why, and she could not think of an answer that would not insult him, so she remained quiet.

Once Mr. Bingley and Jane were a good distance away, Mr. Huxley spoke again, “I must admit, clouding my happiness was the shock I felt when I saw all these happy couples paired up so nicely, but you so alone in the back. Did you perchance hope that a certain someone would come along to take your arm?”

With some hesitation, Kitty took Mr. Huxley's offered arm and they began to walk forward. She still had some mind to defend herself though, “I was not hoping for anything. It was simply the issue with there being an odd number in our party.”

Mr. Huxley looked forward, “I see that Mr. Price did not ask to be your partner in this walk.”

“He is walking with my elder sister. It is polite of him to offer his arm to her before me,” Kitty said.

Mr. Huxley laughed, “Yes, it is polite, but hardly romantic.”

“Romantic?” Kitty sputtered, “I can assure you that Mr. Price is a family friend and a good friend of mine, but there is no romance between us. If you are implying any differently, I would like to take this opportunity to correct that assumption.”

Mr. Huxley raised his eyebrows, “That is certainly all the better for me.”

Kitty was sure that Mr. Huxley was poised to say more when he caught sight of Miss Bingley glancing back at them. Her head snapped back quickly when she was caught and Mr. Huxley smirked at that.

He leaned down to whisper, “Who is that, walking with Miss Darcy? I do not believe I have seen her before.”

“That is Miss Bingley, one of Mr. Bingley's sisters. Mr. Bingley is a close friend of Mr. Darcy,” Kitty explained, thankful for the change in topic. Kitty was not foolish, she knew that Mr. Huxley was hinting at his intentions, if you could refer to it as hinting. He reminded her of Lydia. They were both too brash for Kitty's liking.

“I know of Mr. Bingley quite thoroughly,” Mr. Huxley insisted.

That caught Kitty off guard, “I was not aware that you were familiar with Mr. Bingley. Have you met him before today?”

“Not in person,” Mr. Huxley said, “But I have heard enough about him to make a well rounded opinion.”

“I do not think that one could make a sound judgment of anyone without first meeting them,” Kitty said.

Mr. Huxley let out a laugh that made Kitty feel foolish for her statement, even if she stood by it. He finally stopped enough to say, “That is a noble sentiment my lady, but one must instead think reasonably. How else might we learn about others if not from the words of our friends. You cannot say that you are so above it all to not partake in gossip from time to time.”

For that Kitty had no good response, so Mr. Huxley took it upon himself to smugly continue, “Regardless, my opinions of the Bingleys are quite positive, you do not need to worry. They seem like a respectable family and of good wealth. I'm sure Miss Bingley has a nice dowry of her own.”

Kitty's mother would often talk of dowries. She was quite preoccupied with the wealths of others in their neighborhood. Kitty's own dowry was not very good in comparison to those around her. She had one thousand pounds set aside for her, just like her other sisters had had. Jane and Elizabeth had been lucky enough to marry men who had enough fortunes themselves for their dowries to not be an issue. Kitty had never heard the exact amount, but she had learned that Mr. Darcy had given Lydia and Mr. Wickham money at their marriage. Kitty and Mary were still left with their original dowries. Kitty was not sure how she felt about that. She did not think that she would like to marry a man, but without marriage she would be forced to lean on her family for support for the rest of her life.

Kitty broke away from her thoughts enough to agree with Mr. Huxley. Mr. Huxley was happy to lead the conversation and only required Kitty to nod her head occasionally. Thankfully the walk was only fifteen minutes longer before they reached their stopping point.

The lawn that stretched to the right of the curving path was at an incline. When they walked up, it afforded them a good view of the lake that glittered from the bright sunlight. Along with the baskets of food, large blankets had been brought to lay over the grass and provide a clean spot to sit.

“Kitty, let's sit over here!” Georgiana called from one of the dark red blankets. Miss Bingley was already sitting on another blanket.

Kitty gently separated herself from Mr. Huxley's arm and gave him a brief polite smile before making her way over to Georgiana as quickly as she respectfully could.

Kitty let out a sigh of relief when she saw Mr. Huxley make his way over to the men, who had busied themselves with sorting and handing out the baskets. She turned to Georgiana who was smiling at her with raised eyebrows.

“Yes?” Kitty asked.

Georgiana giggled, “Did you enjoy your walk?”.

Kitty knew that Georgiana was speaking more of her companion than the walk itself. Kitty wrinkled her nose, “I worry what sort of impression Mr. Huxley has of me. There are instances where it seems he thinks very little of me, but he will turn around and all but state his intentions. I wish he would be more clear with his feelings, but I think I would prefer it more if he would leave me be altogether,” Kitty hesitated for a moment before asking, “Does that make me mean spirited or rude?”

Georgiana shook her head with a serious enough expression that Kitty believed her to be being genuine, “I think it is perfectly alright to not like someone, and to wish to have less interactions with them. I think Mr. Huxley finds his own actions amusing.”

“I agree,” Kitty nodded.

Mr. Gardiner was the one to bring them their basket of fruits and cold cuts. Georgiana took the basket and made quick work of setting up their spread. Kitty was half surprised that Mr. Huxley had not brought them their basket. Instead, Mr. Huxley brought Miss Bingley her basket. He stood and spoke to her for a while, before sitting down and conversing some more. Kitty could not tell what they were saying, but they both were smiling and Miss Bingley even had a blush creeping across her cheeks.

“I think Mr. Huxley has moved on,” Georgiana said softly.

“I hope you do not think I regret any loss of Mr. Huxley's attention, but I do worry about Miss Bingley’s involvement with a man with such casual attachments,” Kitty mused.

Georgiana shrugged, “I am just happy he is not taking your time. I have missed you today.”

“I have missed you too,” Kitty agreed, wondering if her words gave her feelings away. She glanced back at Mr. Huxley and Miss Bingley who were laughing at some secret jest that Mr. Huxley had whispered to her. Kitty could not imagine her attachments to be as easily changed.

Chapter Text

Chapter 23: Devotion and Desire

The first dance Kitty was to attend fell on the next weekend after the walk in the park. It was a private ball, but she could not remember the host and Elizabeth had even remarked that the amount of attendees might be too great to even consider it a private affair at all. Still, Mr. Darcy had decided that it was acceptable enough for their party to attend, so Kitty found herself getting ready with Georgiana.

Georgina had chosen to wear her pink and white striped dress, saying that it had been the dress she had worn to her first Lambton ball so it may bring her luck to wear it for her first London ball as well. She had curled her hair once more and fastened it in a low bun and had a thick pink ribbon in her hair to match. She sat patiently as Kitty did her make up, careful not to move too suddenly and ruin Kitty’s work.

Georgiana needed little makeup, and Kitty had found that even in the city, simple makeup was still the style anyway. A bit of rouge on Georgiana’s high cheekbones and some on her lips, though her lips were nearly the same color as the rouge so it added little. Kitty applied it anyway.

“I've finished,” Kitty said, turning away. She surprised herself that she had done such a fine job with the tremor in her hands had been so pronounced.

Georgiana stood at the large mirror placed upon the dresser and looked at Kitty’s work, “I believe it is better than my maid's work,” Georgiana smiled.

Kitty shook her head, letting a small smile slip, “That seems wholly false. I only have a little practice.”

“Still,” Georgiana insisted, sitting back down, “I like the way you do makeup.”

Kitty moved towards the mirror to put on her own rouge. Her skin looked even more freckled compared to the clear, pale skin of Georgiana. She touched the freckles that dotted across her nose. They were not caused by the sun, as they did not fade much even in the winter, even if her mother insisted such. She often would berate Kitty for spending too much time outside without a bonnet, which was untrue. It was Lydia who often would take her bonnet off, but her skin had always remained clear.

“Perhaps I should look into getting a white powder for my face,” Kitty murmured as she began to apply the same color rouge as she had used on Georgiana to her cheeks.

“What?” Georgiana exclaimed, “Why would you need to do something like that?”

Kitty furrowed her brow, “To soften my freckles of course. They are not very pretty, and my mother would often complain about them, although there is little she does not complain about. Lydia would also tease me about them. If I covered them with some paint, then perhaps my face would look a little nicer.”

“I do not think you need to do anything of the sort. I am being completely honest when I say that your freckles are very pretty and I like them exceedingly well,” Georgiana insisted, and Kitty turned to hide her blush.

The host of the ball, whomever they might be, had rented a location for the ball. It was a large assembly room with pretty wall murals that stretched up onto the ceiling, and Georgiana and Kitty spent a great deal looking upwards instead of at the other guests as they entered.

Mr. Darcy made sure their party acquired a cluster of seats and they were soon joined by Jane, Mr. Bingley and his sister's. They were not settled but a few minutes when Mr. Huxley found them. He said his hellos and sent a smile Kitty’s way that seemed more like a smirk. He then turned pointedly to Miss Bingley and asked her for her first two dances.

When the two departed, Jane turned to Kitty and whispered, “I hope you are not too disappointed to not be asked first.”

“If anything I am relieved. I hold no affections for Mr. Huxley, you need not worry sister,” Kitty whispered back.

Jane smiled, relieved, “Yes, there is always Mr. Price should you wish to dance.”

As if on cue, The Gardiners arrived with Mary and Mr. Price in tow. Mary looked more stiff than normal and Mr. Price looked to have a new jacket. It was a deep blue and looked very nice.

When the party arrived, Kitty stood to give her aunt her seat. Mr. Price took the opportunity to approach Kitty.

“Miss Bennet, I would like it very much if you would be my partner for the next dance,” Mr. Price said.

“Of course,” Kitty smiled. They filled out her dance card together. When it came time for the dance, Georgiana had secured a partner of her own. For the first part of the dance, Kitty found herself more focused on Georgiana than her own partner. It was not until Mr. Price cleared his throat when they came together that Kitty’s attention snapped back to her partner.

“I apologize,” Kitty said quickly, “It seems my mind has been elsewhere.”

“That is fine. I would not be so presumptuous as to assume your thoughts are not your own. I might be bold enough to ask you what has you so distracted, but I would not if it were to make you uncomfortable,” Mr. Price said.

Kitty shook her head, “I am not uncomfortable with you, Mr. Price. I am only thinking about affections and how to show them.”

Mr. Price stood a bit straighter, “Affections?” He asked.

“I was wondering how one might go about showing someone their romantic feelings for someone,” Kitty continued.

Mr. Price cleared his throat again, “And, are you hoping that you might find some insight from me?”

“I would be most appreciative if you had any to give,” Kitty nodded excitedly. Mr. Price looked away and the dance separated them again. When they returned together, Mr. Price seemed more composed.

“I'm not sure how helpful my advice would be for you, but I am willing to give it an attempt,” Mr. Price said.

“And I am thankful for just that,” Kitty insisted.

“Well,” Mr. Price began, “I believe a smile can convey a great deal, so long as your feelings are genuine. Spending time with someone can be of aid too. I suppose just being kind to them and caring about them is enough to send the message to your intended recipient.”

Kitty considered Mr. Price's words carefully before answering as they came together again, “What if those things are already being done? What do you do then?”

“Perhaps, being open about your feelings might be the best solution,” Mr. Price said.

“I could never!” Kitty said decidedly.

“Then, you may have to wait until the circumstances are different,” Mr. Price said. He looked at Kitty as if he had more questions but he thankfully kept them to himself if he had any.

Kitty danced another two dance with partners she knew only in passing and eventually found herself sitting with Jane and Mary as they all rested from the activities of the night. Mary had danced with Mr. Price once after Kitty had, and then seemed to be content to sit for the rest of the evening.

“Are you enjoying yourself, Kitty?” Jane asked.

“I do enjoy dancing. I enjoy resting as well though,” Kitty laughed.

“Did you enjoy Mr. Price's company?” Jane continued.

Kitty thought of her conversation with the gentleman and was suddenly embarrassed, “I do not know. Why do you not ask Mary the same questions? She danced with Mr. Price as well.”

Mary stiffened so suddenly that it caught Kitty off guard. Mary stammered, “Dancing is a young person's way of participating at a ball. It would be unseemly to deny a gentleman's request to dance.”

“I do not remember you ever dancing when we went to balls in Meryton,” Kitty said.

“I was not asked,” Mary said simply.

Kitty felt a wave of confusion followed by a wave of shame. She had never considered that her older sister had ever wanted to dance at balls. They had all been out at the same time, but Mary had always acted as if she wasn't, declining invites to parties or dinners with the soldiers and sitting for many dances. Kitty could have introduced her to partners if only for dancing, but she had left her sister alone.

“I am sorry Mary,” Kitty said sincerely, “If you would like, I could introduce you to dance partners.”

Mary bit her lip, but finally said, “Mr. Price is enough.”

Kitty watched the crowds for a while, occasionally catching a glimpse of Georgiana dancing with a Grove brother. She wasn't sure if she could compete with Mary if she had already captured Georgiana's heart, but perhaps she could try.

“Kitty,” Jane began after a time, “I am sure Lady Bingley would like very much for you to visit. She takes her tea quite early, but if you wouldn't mind, we can send a carriage for you in a day or two should you wish to visit her as well. I promised her that I would ask for you.”

Kitty brightened, “I would enjoy that very much. Tell her that I look forward to visiting her.”

After her sit, Kitty danced for much of the night. Eventually she found herself reluctantly accepting Mr. Huxley's invitation to dance after he had spent much of his night speaking with Miss Bingley. He looked extremely pleased with himself and regarded Kitty curiously, as if looking for something.

Quickly the silence became too loud for Kitty, “It is a very nice ball tonight. I am thankful to have been invited.”

“I agree wholeheartedly, although I am a bit worried,” Mr. Huxley said, but he did not seem worried at all.

Kitty asked, even if she knew that she was being baited, “What is causing you worry Mr. Huxley?”

Mr. Huxley smirked, “Why, I am worried about you, dear Miss Bennet. I do hope you are not too displeased that I did not ask you to dance first.”

“Mr. Price is a good dance partner. You need not worry, I am quite fine,” Kitty said.

“Yes, Mr. Price, with whom you feel not romantic feelings for,” Mr Huxley remarked. Kitty did not wish to argue with Mr. Huxley, so she did not respond. They danced in silence for a while until the silence seemed too much for Mr. Huxley.

“My friend will be very surprised to see that I have become attached to someone so quickly, and to who,” Mr. Huxley said.

“I see,” This time Kitty did not take the bait. It did not seem to matter as Mr. Huxley was determined to continue regardless.

“My friend is coming to town soon. He is bringing his very pretty wife as they have not yet gotten to enjoy London as a married couple. I will be sure to introduce them to Miss Bingley as I am quite besotted,” Mr. Huxley watched for Kitty's reaction at Miss Bingley’s mention, but all Kitty wanted to do was finish the dance and be done with Mr. Huxley.

After what seemed an eternity, the song ended and Kitty was escorted back to her seat. Miss Bingley did not look at her fondly, but she did not speak and for that Kitty was grateful. Miss Bingley was soon led away arm in arm with Mr. Huxley, leaving Georgiana and Kitty free to sit together in peace.

Kitty was content to sit with Georgiana for the rest of the night. She had surprisingly had her fill of dancing. Miss Bingley had not and Kitty saw her dancing with Mr. Huxley again, and Kitty wasn't sure if it was their second or third time together. She hoped it was not their third dance or others would surely talk.

“I hope Mr. Bingley speaks with Miss Bingley about Mr. Huxley's intentions. He told me while we danced that he was besotted with Miss Bingley, but that might only have been to see how I might react,” Kitty whispered to Georgiana.

Georgiana leaned in close to respond, “Miss Bingley has been much more tolerable towards you, I would be upset to see her hurt.”

“Can we do anything? She may listen to your opinions, but she most certainly will not listen to me,” Kitty said.

“I think we can only watch for now and hope nothing untoward happens. I know Miss Bingley will not do anything foolish,” Georgiana said, her hand covering Kitty’s.

Kitty sighed, “It is not Miss Bingley I am worried about.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 24: Reluctance and Restraint

The Bingley's townhouse was very pretty with rose bushes in the front that matched the bright bricks and deep green door. It was fairly large, definitely comfortable enough for the party that was currently staying in the house. Kitty gave her cloak and bonnet to the servant at the door, but kept her bag and was led to a warm looking sitting room.

Lady Bingley was already sitting in a chair and stirring sugar into her tea. She did not smile when Kitty was announced, but she did nod. Kitty took a seat on the couch across from Lady Bingley. She set her bag at her feet.

“What have you brought with you Miss Bennet?” Lady Bingley asked when Kitty was settled. She gestured toward the tea things and Kitty bent over to pour herself a cup.

“I have brought my embroidery supplies, or at least some of them. I thought, should we grow bored of talking or if I need something to do with my hands, that I might continue some of my work.”

Lady Bingley nodded, “As expected of you, Miss Bennet, always thinking ahead. Very well, it certainly is not common in a visit, but I see no harm in it. Now tell me, how have you found London?”

“I enjoy it very much. I like looking at all of the different shops and there are many nice walks to take around town. I have met many new people and some have been very nice, but I prefer the time I have spend with family parties the most I confess,” Kitty said.

Lady Bingley asked of the events that she had been to so far and Kitty gave her all the relevant details. She told her of the parties she had attended and even of Mr. Huxley and his actions of late.

Lady Bingley wrinkled her nose, “My Granddaughter is foolish. She spent so many years pining after a man who did not want her and now lets a gentleman no one hardly knows lead her around town. She ought to have her brother find a respectable man, get married, and be done with it.”

“I think you are too hard on her. I dislike Mr. Huxley as well, but I still think everyone deserves to marry someone they love,” Kitty insisted. She set her empty tea cup down and went to her bag to pull out her hoop with her latest project. London had many new embroidery and dress books and Kitty had been lucky enough to purchase a few newer ones. She was working on a particularly difficult stitch pattern that would look like stars when she was finished.

“Everyone?” Lady Bingley questioned, “Does that include you? Are you hoping to marry a love match?”

Kitty pulled at a stitch she had done incorrectly and said, “I do not think I will ever marry a man. I do not think I want to.”

“Never?” Lady Bingley questioned. Kitty looked up, realizing what she had spoken out loud. Lady Bingley did not look at her angrily or as if she were judging Kitty, she seemed more curious than anything. Kitty could not find a good enough cause to lie and retract her statement.

“I know I may be a burden on my family, but I do not want to marry. Perhaps one day I will change my mind and I am open to that; but, as of now, I do not see a future where I get married and I am happy,” Kitty said, sitting up straight. She watched Lady Bingley as Lady Bingley did the same.

After what seemed like too long of a time to Kitty, Lady Bingley spoke, “I doubt your family finds you a burden Miss Bennet. You make yourself useful with your company and good company is hard to find. Perhaps it is even a positive that no man will come suddenly and whisk you away from your family, as is expected of most young ladies of age. No, I think it is most acceptable to want no part in that game.”

Kitty’s chest filled with warm relief and she let herself smile, “Thank you, Lady Bingley.”

“Why are you thanking me? I am only speaking my mind,” Lady Bingley insisted.

“Yes,” Kitty agreed, “And I find that to be a very good quality of yours.”

They sat in a comfortable silence for some time more, the sounds of breakfast coming from another room. Pastries and toasted bread were brought to the sitting room for them to share. Kitty spread a small layer of a jam onto her bread.

“I will warn you,” Lady Bingley said, “Your family might have expectations of you that they have not yet voiced. They do not always see things as they are, but how they wish them to be.”

Kitty mulled the words over. She wanted to stay with Georgiana for as long as she was able. If that meant listening to her family's wishes, she may be able to consider them.

“I will be careful,” Kitty said, “and, I will do my best to do what is right.”

When the time came for Kitty to return home, it was easily decided between both parties that the visits would become a regular thing. Kitty met Jane at the door. Her sister was preparing to go out as well.

“Good morning, Jane,” Kitty said as she received and fastened her cloak.

“Oh, hello Kitty,” Jane exclaimed, “I had nearly forgotten you were to visit. I am sorry I did not come to greet you or sit with you two.”

“It is fine. I had a nice visit with Lady Bingley,” Kitty said.

“I must confess that I am very happy to see you get along with Lady Bingley. In truth she frightens me. I really want her to like me that I often forget myself around her,” Jane explained.

Kitty put her hand on Jane's arm, “Lady Bingley may seen scary at first, but she is really quite nice. She doesn't bother to lie so you know everything she says she means. Be at ease and confident in what you say and she will respect that.”

Jane smiled, “Thank you, Kitty.”

When Kitty returned to the Darcy's townhouse she found Georgiana and Mary sitting together looking at what seemed to be new sheet music. Kitty came into the room, but the other girls did not notice her until she set her bag down close to them.

“Kitty,” Georgiana exclaimed, “Come look at this new music book that Mary has gotten.”

Kitty was about to tell her that she had little skill in visualizing music with only written notes, but she did not want to be excluded from their conversations. Instead she answered, “Sure. What sort of music is it? Is it dancing music?”

The only room left on the couch was next to Mary, so Kitty carefully sat next to her. Georgiana shook her head, “It may be too slow for dancing. It is the works of Hasselmann. We are looking at Ode to June.”

The name sounded familiar but Kitty could not pinpoint from where she had heard it before. She looked at the sheet music and was immediately convinced it was a piece she would never be skilled enough to play, “Are you going to play it?” Kitty asked Georgiana.

Mary stood up with a start, “I will play it. I have been practicing it. I almost have it memorized. Mr. Price has said that I am quite skilled,” Mary made her way out of the room to the adjacent room in which the pianoforte stood. Kitty and Georgiana glanced at each other before following.

“Do you often play for Mr. Price?” Kitty asked. Mary’s shoulders went up for a moment but she did not stop.

“He is staying with our aunt and uncle and so he sometimes is around when I am practicing, “Mary hesitated for a second before adding, “He enjoys music.”

Mary took a seat at the pianoforte and almost immediately began to play. Her skill with playing had always been quite good, if a bit technical. They had never had any sort of instruction on playing or singing except the brief time spent with their mother learning the basics. Mrs. Gardiner was more knowledgeable than their mother and had given lessons to Mary whenever she had visited.

It seemed that Mary had indeed been practicing a great deal. Her transitions were smoother and the music felt less forced to Kitty. The song choice was not terrible either. It was slow, but not in a way that bored Kitty.

As they watched Mary play, Kitty took a step closer to Georgiana. When Georgiana looked at her, her brow furrowed slightly, Kitty only smiled and whispered, “I think the song is not so bad and Mary does seem to play it quite well.”

Georgiana smiled and nodded back and Kitty took some courage to let the backs of their fingers touch briefly. She wanted to be closer to Georgiana but she was unsure how. It was like there was some invisible barrier that blocked her from taking the next step, from reaching out for Georgiana's hand.

When the song ended, Mary looked at the two of them and when Georgiana began to clap, Kitty followed suit. Almost as abruptly as she had come into this room, Mary rose and returned to the sitting room and took her seat once more. When Georgiana sat down across from Mary, Kitty took the opportunity to sit next to Georgiana.

Tea and small cakes were brought out for them and small finger sandwiches for Kitty especially were placed down as well. Georgiana poured everyone tea before Kitty could do it. Kitty knew that as the guest, Mary was given her cup first, but Kitty couldn't help but wish she had been first. It felt petty and silly, so Kitty did not let the feelings dwell and instead turned to Mary.

“How are our aunt and uncle and our cousins? Do you like staying with them?” he asked, surprised that this was the first she had asked Mary about her stay.

“Our aunt and uncle are very well. They enjoy the city decidedly more than the country,” Mary answered, “As do I.”

That surprised Kitty even more, “You dislike the country?”

“I did not say that. I said that I like the city more. It is only natural to have a fondness for the land where one grew up, but new experiences are necessary for the growth of a healthy mind, and the city is full of new experiences. I think I could move here and never cease to find something new every day,” Mary said.

“Why would you move here?” Kitty asked, “London is very lovely to visit, but I do not think it the best place to live. There is more nature to enjoy in the country, and it is less busy as well.”

“As someone who has lived both in London and at Pemberley, I can see the advantages of both,” Georgiana said smiling. Kitty did not really wish to argue with Mary about where they might live when it seemed they both would eventually return to Longbourn. Kitty hoped at least that she might visit Elizabeth or Jane often enough to lift her spirits.

Georgiana and Mary were discussing a music store that they both frequented. Kitty had been inside it once but it had not been nearly as interesting for her. She decided to focus on her sandwiches and let the two converse. She had interrupted their visit anyway.

Kitty listened casually to their conversation, but more so, she was watching how the two of them looked at each other. Mary seemed more animated when talking with Georgiana. She did not lecture or try to show off in front of her, she simply talked happily. Kitty wished Mary would talk to her like that, if she had, perhaps they could have been closer. Kitty resolved that she would try to improve their relationship, especially if Mary was to continue spending time with Georgiana.

“I am glad you came to visit,” Kitty blurted out, not even realizing that she was speaking. Mary and Georgiana look shocked, but Georgiana quickly smiled and nodded.

“Yes, we are happy to see you always, Mary,” Georgiana said. Mary looked at Kitty for an awkward moment before nodding.

“We should visit together more often,” Kitty said, feeling braver now.

“Alright, I shall consider visiting again soon,” Mary said. Georgiana grabbed Kitty’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze and Kitty was glad she had spoken up.

Chapter Text

Chapter 25: Suddenness and Surprise

Kitty had never been asked to Mr. Darcy's study before. She had always assumed that it was an unspoken rule that she was never to enter it. She wasn't curious enough to try and disrespect Mr. Darcy by snooping through his private area.

That was why she was so surprised when Elizabeth asked that Kitty join her and Mr. Darcy in his study one day. Georgiana was out on a walk with Mary, so she was not even present to reassure Kitty.

Kitty followed Elizabeth quietly, wondering why they would need to speak to her. She had been on her best behavior since they arrived at London. Surely they did not find fault in that. With a start Kitty wondered if they might have realized her feelings for Georgiana. If they did, would Mr. Darcy be angry? Would he send her home? How could she explain that to Georgiana? Would Mr. Darcy tell her?

“Come inside,” Elizabeth said, holding the door. She smiled warmly at Kitty, but it did little to calm her nerves.

Kitty stepped inside and Elizabeth followed, shutting the heavy wooden door behind her. The room had two large windows that let in a good amount of sunlight. Kitty had expected the room to be dim or even dark, but it was bright and inviting even. A large desk was positioned near on of the windows to receive the best amount of light. Mr. Darcy stood from the chair behind it when they entered.

“Thank you for coming, Miss Bennet,” Mr. Darcy said. He gestured to the collection of chairs in the center of the room. Kitty took a seat once Elizabeth had sat down first. She did her best not to fidget nervously.

“Elizabeth has told me that this news should come from me. While I do not know if that is necessary, I have no reason not to oblige,” Mr. Darcy continued.

Elizabeth reached over and gave Kitty’s hand a squeeze, “I only thought that it would be better to hear it from both of us.”

Kitty nodded and Mr. Darcy began to speak again, “You have been staying with us for quite a few months now and during that time you have exceeded all of our expectations. Your behavior has been exemplary and you have been a good companion for Georgiana.”

“Georgiana is important to me,” Kitty said before she could stop herself.

“You have been an important friend to her as well,” Elizabeth said and then said, “You have grown so much in the last few months. Your transformation has been amazing. We are very proud of the young woman you have become.”

Kitty pressed her lips together and didn't respond. She did not feel much different from who she was before. How poorly was she viewed before by everyone around her? She had been prone to gossip, but Kitty still enjoyed learning new things and chatting. Lydia had been mean spirited at times, but Kitty had never said anything she would have thought to be disrespectful. The implications made her feel small instead of complimented.

Mr. Darcy cleared his throat, “Yes, so in response to your progress, we have thought it appropriate to gift you a dowry.”

Kitty’s head shot up, “I am sorry, what was that?”

“A dowry,” Elizabeth said smiling.

“I believe that 5,000 pounds should be sufficient to secure a future for you and your husband,” Mr. Darcy said, “I will have the necessary paperwork drawn up and the money placed into an account for you.”

“Husband?” Kitty turned to Elizabeth, “I do not understand.”

Elizabeth moved to sit beside Kitty on the couch, “I know it is early and I do not believe you have discussed marriage or courting yet with him, but this will help things.”

“With who?” Kitty questioned.

“Mr. Price of course. I have seen how close you have gotten. He would need to wait years to save up before he could marry without a dowry,” Elizabeth explained.

“Oh,” Kitty breathed.

“There is no need to rush things now that you have a dowry, but I do not think you want to wait years,” Elizabeth said, “This is a very kind thing for Mr. Darcy to do.”

“Yes, thank you Mr. Darcy. This is very generous of you,” Kitty said, realizing how quiet she had been.

“Yes, well you are Elizabeth's family so that puts you under my care as well,” Mr. Darcy said, turning away slightly.

Kitty turned back to Elizabeth, “I am feeling a bit tired, would it be alright if I went to lay down?”

“Of course. This was a lot all at once,” Elizabeth said.

Kitty got up and thanked Mr. Darcy again before leaving the study. She managed to make it to her room before the first tear fell. Her mind felt foggy and she was not entirely sure why she was upset.

A dowry would finally give her some stability, but it almost felt like a conditional dowry, that was only given so that she may marry Mr. Price. Had Mr. Price spoke with Mr. Darcy about asking for Kitty’s hand? Mr. Darcy did not give any indication that such a conversation had taken place, although Mr. Darcy did not give indication of much of anything.

Was Mr. Price in love with her? They were friends, good friends at that. He had visited her numerous times while in London and they had danced at every ball they attended together, but it had never felt like courting to Kitty. Was she the fool? Had she been letting Mr. Price believe she had romantic feelings for him?

Kitty paced her room, replaying every conversation and interaction She had had with Mr. Price. Had she been flirting? Kitty did not even know how to flirt. She had known for a while that people had assumed there was some beginnings of feelings growing between Kitty and Mr. Price, but had Mr. Price thought so as well?

Now Mr. Darcy's incredible kindness was involved. As well as his and Elizabeth's expectations. Mr. Price had mentioned that he was relying on the kindness of her aunt and uncle to stay with them and save for a house. He did not have the money himself to be able to secure a home for a few years. If Mr. Price loved Kitty, he may want to marry sooner than that. This dowry suddenly made it possible.

Kitty’s hope of spending more time with Georgiana was diminishing the more she understood the situation. Kitty finally sat down on the bench beside her window. Mr. Price, should he intend to, would certainly propose before the season was over. She had little chance of going back to Pemberley with Georgiana. She would stay in London, perhaps for the rest of her life.

How could she explain that she did not want to marry anyone? Kitty thought of Georgiana and for a brief moment imagined a life where they could marry. It would never happen, Georgiana did not love her back anyway.

That thought made Kitty worse than the dowry and all that came with it did. She was content to spend a good amount of time in her room feeling miserable. Kitty did just that until there was a knock at her door. She quickly wiped her face and tried to cool the red from her face by fanning it with her hands.

“Come in,” Kitty called out, proud at how steady her voice was.

Georgiana stepped inside, “Elizabeth said you have been inside here this whole time,” When she saw Kitty’s face, she rushed over, “What is wrong? Are you upset? Have you been crying?”

Kitty couldn't look at Georgiana, not right then so she looked out the window, “I am alright. I just received some news that was a bit overwhelming is all.”

“What news?” Georgiana asked. She was holding Kitty’s hand. Kitty wanted to pull away but that would hurt Georgiana so she did not move.

Kitty took a moment to collect herself, “Your brother has gifted me a dowry, so that I may marry Mr. Price should he ask me.

Georgiana looked shocked and Kitty had the selfish wish that Georgiana would tell her to refuse the dowry so they might stay together. Georgiana finally smiled, “That is good news, right? If I had known you liked Mr. Price I would have given you part of my dowry, should my brother have allowed it. My dowry is more of a curse than a gift, but for you this is wonderful! I can see why you would be overwhelmed.”

“Yes, wonderful,” Kitty said quietly. Had Georgiana felt differently she would not have seemed so happy for her. Kitty could see no reason to refuse Mr. Price now. Should she do so, her family would just push her towards another man who may not have as good of character as Mr. Price. No, she must get over her silly feelings for Georgiana and exist in the real world.

“I am going to go down and do my music practice, but if you need anything, let me know. Congratulations Kitty. I'm very happy for you,” Georgiana said, standing up. Kitty nodded and did not watch Georgiana leave. Once the door shut once more, Kitty began to cry once more.

The next week was spent avoiding Georgiana as she was able without raising suspicion. As the week was coming to a close her chest did not ache whenever she saw Georgiana and she almost felt back to normal. Thankfully, Mr. Price had yet to visit. She was not yet sure how to act around him.

If Georgiana noticed the change in Kitty’s behavior, she did not say anything. If anything she was giving Kitty space as well. Kitty wanted things to return back to how they were, even if it would only last a short while. So when while visiting, Jane suggested the three of them go out to see a new dress shop, Kitty was eager to agree.

The day was colder than the London weather had usually been and Kitty was thankful that her cloak was thick. It protected her against much of the wind. Jane was a good conversationalist and was able to keep both girls engaged well enough. She talked of dances and her visit to the theater and Lady Bingley and even Mr. Huxley.

“Mr. Huxley has been visiting Miss Bingley quite a bit,” Jane began offhandedly, “He is very polite to all of us, although he and Miss Bingley share many jokes that I am not privy to. It began after our picnic in the park and the ball afterwards.”

Kitty and Georgiana exchanged glances, but did not comment on Jane's words. Regardless of the weather, the London streets were as busy as always. There were many interesting places and people to see. Kitty enjoyed the hustle and bustle, but it also made her long for the quiet walks in Pemberley's gardens. Perhaps her new house might have a small garden she might sit in. The thought did not settle the churning in her chest.

“Oh, I promised Charles I would stop by this shop to pick up an order of his,” Jane said when they passed by a haberdashery, “You two can go on to the dress shop, it is just a few shops down from here. I will join you once I have picked his gloves.”

Georgiana and Kitty watched Jane disappear into the shop and then looked at each other. Kitty gave a smile that she hoped looked friendly and reassuring.

Georgiana grinned back and held out her elbow, “Shall we go?”

The air of uncertainty seemed to be dissipating around the two of them in Kitty’s opinion, and for that she was thankful. They walked down the street arm in arm towards the dress shop. It was in an older building but you could see beautiful fabrics in the windows. The door had a bell that rang out as Kitty and Georgiana approached. Exiting the building and almost running into the two of them were Lydia and Mr. Wickham.

Kitty took a step back and then another. Lydia took the opportunity to bound down the few steps and wrap her arms around her sister.

“Kitty! It has been so long! have you gained weight? Your cheeks are so full. Mr. Darcy must have wonderful chefs I am sure. And, I see you have a new cloak. I much prefer spencers, but I suppose to each their own. How have you been? Why have you not written?” Lydia spoke quickly as if she had only one breath to spare. She pulled back and held Kitty at arm's length, looking her over. Lydia's spencer was orange.

Kitty tried to find the words to speak, “Why are you here?” She finally managed to get out.

Lydia laughed, “To see London of course. I have been here before when I married my dear Mr. Wickham,” she looked back at her husband who gave a nod of his hat, his smirk familiar. Kitty could feel Georgiana slink behind her.

Lydia continued, “But we did not get to enjoy it, you understand? I wanted to see you as well of course. I have been most curious about what sort of adventures you have been up to, what sort of men you have been dancing with,” Lydia giggled. Kitty blushed despite herself.

“It is good to see you again, Miss Darcy,” Mr. Wickham said smiling towards Georgiana. Georgiana managed to nod, but she did not much else except hold onto the back of Kitty’s cloak.

“When you mentioned meeting Georgiana I did not expect months later that you two would so.. close,” Lydia said, eyeing the two of them, “I would be careful of who you choose to befriend. You never know their intentions. But I'm sure Georgiana is perfectly nice. I hope we can become friends too of course.”

“How long do you plan on staying in London?” Kitty asked, ignoring Lydia's previous statements.

“Oh, I could not be sure. You see, we have come to help a dear friend of Mr. Wickham with some business he has. I would say more, but it is quite secret. I do hope we see each other again, but I must be off before your guardian returns,” Lydia said, stepping back and taking Mr. Wickhams arm.

“It is only Jane, surely you can stay a moment to see her?” Kitty asked.

Lydia shook her head, “No I am afraid we cannot. We are very busy and our visit to London is still a secret. I want to see the faces of Jane and Elizabeth when I come into a ball with my handsome husband at my side. They will be so surprised and I will laugh and laugh. It will be great fun.”

“Yes, secrets can be quite fun,” Mr. Wickham added more towards Georgiana than anyone else. With that, the couple made their way quickly down the street, disappearing into the crowd.

Chapter Text

Chapter 26: Disdain and Disrespect

Kitty and Georgiana did not speak of Lydia and Mr. Wickham until they were safely in Kitty’s room with the door closed. Kitty shook a little from the nervous energy. If it had not been Georgiana in the room she may have been embarrassed at her actions, but Georgiana would surely understand. Kitty turned around to face Georgiana and stopped.

Georgiana was shaking, her head hung low and her fists were balled so tightly that Kitty worried that her nails may draw blood. Kitty went cautiously over to her and softly took one of her hands and slowly unwound it and then reached for the other. Georgiana's breath was short and fast.

“It is alright. We are safe here, Georgiana,” Kitty murmured. She did not let go of Georgiana's hands. She just continued to tell Georgiana that they were safe until Georgiana calmed enough to speak.

“He will tell everyone that I… that…” Georgiana hunched her shoulders more and Kitty squeezed her hands gently.

“What would he gain from that? He may threaten it, but I think he knows well enough to not cause more trouble than it would be worth,” Kitty said, but she was not as sure as she sounded. Perhaps Mr. Wickham would just do so to be cruel or perhaps he has already told Lydia and she may treat it as gossip. Either way, their arrival in London only spelt trouble.

“What do they want?” Georgiana asked quietly. Her breathing had returned back to a normal tempo.

“I do not know,” Kitty answered honestly. She let go of Georgiana to pace around the rug in the center of the room, “We need to tell someone that they are here. I am not a fan of Lydia's plan to surprise Jane and Elizabeth.”

“But, what if they confront them and it presses them to tell my secret?” Georgiana said and then quickly added, “It is not that I disagree with you, I am just worried.”

Kitty nodded, “I am too. Maybe we need to figure out what their goal is here in London. Lydia mentioned they are here to help a friend, perhaps that is all they truly wish to do, and when they are done they will return home.”

“How can we find that out? We do not even know where they are staying,” Georgiana moved to sit down on Kitty’s bed. She wiped at her eyes.

“I know my sister,” Kitty insisted. She will find out how to meet us again. She will want to see what I am doing in London without her. We only need to make ourselves available.”

Kitty ceased her pacing and sat beside Georgiana and when Georgiana laid down, Kitty moved to do so as well. They laid like that in silence, watching the ceiling for some time. Kitty could feel Georgiana finally relax.

“I thought I would like Lydia when I first heard of her,” Georgiana eventually said, “When I heard that she had married Mr. Wickham I believed she may have done so under the same pretenses as I did, that she was like me.”

“Georgiana,” Kitty said, unsure what she would say to follow it. What could she say? That she was the one like her, that they were so similar that it was painful.

When Kitty did not continue, Georgiana did instead, “I was wrong though. Lydia does not like women, she likes Mr. Wickham. And I do not believe anymore that Mr. Wickham liked men either. He was likely after my dowry and wanted to hurt my brother. I really was foolish. I should have denied my feelings when I had the chance. I should have never let anyone know.”

“I am glad you told me,” Kitty whispered. Georgiana turned to look at Kitty and Kitty realized just how close they were.

“You are different, Kitty. I would tell you again a thousand times over if I was given the chance,” Georgiana said.

Kitty wondered what she would ruin if she closed the gap and kissed Georgiana. She let herself imagine the scenario where Georgiana kissed her softly back. A world where them kissing was seen as a good thing. It felt like good thing to Kitty, but a risky one. If Georgiana pushed her away, if she was hurt by the actions, it would hurt. Kitty could never kiss Georgiana without asking, and Georgiana would never say yes to kissing Kitty. So instead, Kitty smiled and did not move forward.

A chance to find Lydia came sooner than Kitty expected it to. A letter from Molly Grove inviting the two to a tea party came a few days later. In it she mentioned a new friend that seemed to know Kitty that may also be attending. Molly seemed to be questioning if Kitty in fact knew this girl, but Kitty only responded that they were looking forward to attending.

Kitty took greater care with her hair that day and wore her nicest day dress, and her shawl that she had recently finished embroidering at the edges. Elizabeth had complimented it the other day and had also asked for one to be made for her as well. Kitty could not find herself satisfied with her appearance, finding faults where there were not ones. If she could correct them now, then Lydia would not be able to point them out later.

Kitty made her way downstairs just in time for her and Georgiana to be off. Kitty had managed to convince Elizabeth to let them go alone as there would be Molly's mother In attendance and there was no need for additional chaperones. Elizabeth had not been happy but she let them go with promises that they would return straight home.

“Are you sure that Lydia will be in attendance?” Georgiana asked when they were safely in the carriage.

“I am not,” Kitty admitted, “but I think it is very likely.”

“And do you think Mr. Wickham will also be there?” Georgiana asked, quieter this time.

Kitty shook her head, “There is no reason to think he should want to attend a women's tea. I am sure at least that he will not be in attendance.”

They rode the rest of the way in silence. Molly's townhouse was not so large, but it had pretty white shutters and flower boxes in most windows. When Kitty and Georgiana entered, the inside of the house was alive with noise. Children could be heard laughing and running upstairs. Chatter came from further in the first floor. Kitty and Georgiana were led through into a room with bright sunlight streaming through the windows on one side. A few tables had been set up prettily in the center of the room and were already filled with tiered trays of sweets and sandwiches. Molly jumped up happily when the two entered.

“Welcome!” Molly said, “I am sorry for the noise. Papa has promised to take my brother's out to a park, but they have not left yet.”

“It is good to see you, Miss Grove, thank you for inviting us,” Kitty smiled.

“Please, you must call me Molly and I will call you Kitty and then everyone will know we are friends,” Molly insisted. Kitty nodded and Molly led them to a table.

Kitty turned and whispered to Georgiana, “We should sit apart. If you are at another table then perhaps If Lydia arrives, she may speak to me more freely.”

Georgiana pressed her lips together, bit nodded and took a seat at a different table. Kitty made sure she sat with room on either side, should her sister join. She felt a little nauseous with anticipation.

When it came time to serve the tea, Lydia had still not arrived and Kitty was beginning to think she may not show up after all. Molly stood in the center of the room and began to welcome everyone and thank them for coming when Lydia came into the room laughing.

“Oh, it seems I am late,” she giggled into her glove. She had on a new dress that Kitty had not seen before in a light blue with golden yellow ribbons to bunch at the sleeves and around her high waistline. Her gloves and shoes were new to match. She spotted Kitty and went over to take her seat. The interruption made Molly falter for a moment but she was able to collect herself well enough and call for the special teas to be served. Kitty wished Lydia had apologized for her tardiness.

“Kitty! Are you shocked to see me here?” Lydia whispered a little too loudly. Kitty winced but she made herself smile at her sister.

“Molly had mentioned a friend of mine was attending. I wondered if it might be you,” Kitty said. She thanked the maid who brought them the teapot and cream.

“Yes,” Lydia giggled again, “It was quite fun to find your friends. Your friend Molly sure does love to talk and talk. It was easy to see that she knew you.”

“Lydia, this is Molly's party. I would be happier if you would not say such things about the host,” Kitty made herself say.

Lydia looked surprised for a second, but brushed it off quickly enough, “I am only jesting. Molly was very helpful and it was so funny how she did not realize who I was. You see I introduced myself as Mrs. Lydia Wickham and she had no idea that I was your sister!”

“I did not mention your name to Molly,” Kitty poured her tea.

“I am surprised by that. Were you not planning to introduce me to your friends here in London? I let you be friends with my friends in Meryton,” Lydia clapped her hands together, “Oh! Are you worried I may steal your friends away?”

“I did not think you would be in London,” Kitty answered.

“Well, I could have told you if you had written to me more often, or perhaps not. It was good fun to see your reaction when we came from the shop. A bird could have landed in your mouth,” Lydia said. Kitty glanced at Georgiana, who was doing her best not to look at Kitty and Lydia. She was sat next to Anne Harris, who was good enough to include Georgiana in most of the conversation so she did not feel so alone. Kitty was glad she did not have to face Lydia. That thought gave her a little strength.

“What has brought you to London exactly?” Kitty asked.

Lydia smiled, “Well, Mr. Wickham and I have a dear friend from Newcastle. He has come to London with the hope of finding a wife for his very nice estate. We have come to help him. I know how to find love, obviously, so I am going to be of the utmost importance to him you see. We are quite close.”

“Who is he? Am I acquainted with him?” Kitty asked.

“I should say so,” Lydia giggled, “I have mentioned him before, a Mr. X if you remember.”

Kitty furrowed her brow, “You mentioned gentlemen in some of your letters, I do remember a Mr. X but I did not think any of the gentlemen you mentioned would be coming to London.”

“I convinced him to go to London, for you,” Lydia grinned. The other two girls at the table were thankfully preoccupied with their own conversation that they did not notice the shock on Kitty’s face.

Lydia laughed at Kitty's lack of a reply, “You should see your face right now,” she said.

Kitty collected herself, “You should not play with people like thar, Lydia. You will do more harm than good.”

“You have changed, Kitty. No wonder Mr. Huxley did not like you,” Lydia crossed her arms.

“Mr. Huxley?!” Kitty breathed, finally putting the pieces together.

Lydia continued on, “Of course it was Mr. Huxley. He came to London at my suggestion and sought you out. If you had continued to write to me I would have known you were already in love. That must be why you are no fun anymore.”

Kitty looked away and pointedly not at Georgiana, “Love? Me?”

“With who was it? A Mr. Pierce or Mr. Price?” Lydia said, thinking.

“Mr. Price,” Kitty corrected. She would have told Lydia that she did not have feelings for him before, but now things were complicated and telling her seemed to not be worth it.

“Yes, him. From what Mr. Huxley has said, he seems a terrible bore. Maybe that is why you like him, you both can be simple together,” Lydoa giggled.

“I am not simple and neither is Mr. Price,” Kitty said. It sounded silly when she said it out loud.

Lydia waved her hand, “Of course, he is perfect and great or whatever. It really does not matter. He does not have much money does he? Certainly no estate like Mr. Huxley, even if it is in need of repairs.”

“Mr. Huxley's estate needs repairs?” Kitty asked.

“It really is not so bad and not his fault at all. No one told him how much upkeep a country home needs so he did not know he needed to do maintenance and repairs and now he needs to replace the entire roof and there was the fire in his kitchens, but they will be fixed up, only it is so expensive and Mr. Huxley deserves to be enjoying his time now, not worrying about money. That is why I thought he might be a good match for you. I was so certain that Mr. Darcy would have given you something of a dowry and Mr. Huxley is quite handsome,” Lydia said.

“I do have a dowry,” Kitty let slip before she could stop herself.

Lydia's face lit up, “So he has given you something. I knew he would. I am quite smart when it comes to these things. How much has he given you? You must whisper it to me.”

“I do not think that is appropriate,” Kitty shook her head.

“I am your sister, if you can not tell me, then who can you tell? How will you ever let your precious Mr. Price know?” Lydia insisted.

Kitty sighed and said quietly, “It is five thousand.”

“Mr. Darcy sure is rich. Lizzy is lucky to have married him, even if he is quite dull and rude. Mr. Wickham has told me of all the terrible ways he has been treated by Mr. Darcy so my opinion of him is quite poor. All the Darcys are in my poor opinion,” Lydia said.

Kitty at up a bit straighter, “The Darcys are good people, excellent people even.”

“Of course you would say that when they have given you so many things,” Lydia leaned in close to whisper, “Mr. Darcy has at least. But, if you knew what I knew about Miss Darcy, you would not think her so perfect.”

Kitty bristled, but managed to say, “Miss Darcy is my friend. I do not need to hear things about her, my opinion will not change either way.”

Lydia frowned, “You really are no fun anymore. It does Not matter though. I hope you and Mr. Price do get married. Then you may visit and Father cannot say no. That is the best part about being married. You can do as you like and no one is there to reprimand you. If you do get married I should hope you could help me and Mr. Wickham. We only need a thousand pounds at most. Just to settle some debts and help get some new things. We are nearly out of money and Lizzy has not answered my letters yet. You do not know what it is like to be poor. It is not fun at all. I never can get new things.”

“Your dress looks new,” Kitty remarked.

“That is different. You cannot go to London and not get a new dress!” Lydia scoffed and then gently put a hand on Kitty’s arm, “Will you at least think about it, Kitty? Please?”

Kitty bit her lip and lied, “I will.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 27: Fault and Failing

Kitty was thankful that Lydia did not tell anyone at the party that they were sisters. After Kitty had let slip of her new dowry, Lydia was in all good spirits. She began to converse with the other members of their table and made quick friends. Kitty wanted to go to Georgiana immediately, but she did not want to risk Lydia's attentions falling on Georgiana again so she remained seated until it was time for them to go.

When they were safely in their carriage and on the way home, Kitty let Georgiana know of what Lydia had told her.

“I always thought it was odd that Mr. Huxley was so interested in you,” Georgiana said and then quickly added, “Not that it is odd for someone to be interested in you, only that his feelings seemed so sudden and misplaced. It seems he was expecting you to come into money before you even knew yourself!”

“And, when I did not easily return my affections, he turned to Miss Bingley,” Kitty said.

“Poor Miss Bingley, she has no idea of his intentions,” Georgiana shook her head.

“Lydia seemed to want to push me to marry. Perhaps Mr. Huxley promised to give her and Mr. Wickham some of my dowry. It is wicked to imagine Of my own sister to scheme like that, but I cannot help but wonder,” Kitty said. She looked out the window. Was her sister capable of such a scheme? If she was, what would stop her from pushing Mr. Huxley and Miss Bingley together for the same end goal?

“I do not know your sister, but I know Mr. Wickham, and he is capable of scheming, if it would benefit him in the end,” Georgiana said decisively.

The two of them decided that Elizabeth needed to be informed of Lydia and Mr Wickham's arrival, and they would tell her the next morning. Kitty had a headache after the party and took her time to rest for much of the rest of the day.

Kitty knew that she needed to tell Elizabeth about Lydia, and she had no plans to not do so, but the thought Of it made her uneasy. Would Elizabeth blame Kitty for corresponding with Lydia when she knew that she should not have? It was Kitty’s fault in the end. Lydia would not be in London now if Kitty had not told her she was to go for the season. Would Elizabeth regret letting her stay with the Darcys?

All her thoughts were swirling in her head when Kitty went down the next morning for breakfast. The breakfast passed without much conversation, but Mr. Darcy seemed preoccupied with his own meal and if Elizabeth noticed, she did not mention it outloud.

After breakfast, Mr. Darcy went to his study and the women went to the sitting room at Kitty's request. Georgiana and Elizabeth sat down, but Kitty was too restless to do so. She had promised Georgiana that she would do most of the speaking, but now her mouth felt dry.

“Is there a reason you wanted us all together?” Elizabeth asked, trying to prompt Kitty to start.

“Yes, we, I mean I need to tell you something,” Kitty began and once she started the words came tumbling out, “Lydia is in town with Mr. Wickham. We saw them in town. I believe she wanted to find me specifically. She also was at the party we went to yesterday. Everyone else believes she is only a friend of mine, not my sister.”

Elizabeth was silent for a moment, thinking. After she had collected her thoughts she spoke, “How did Lydia know we were in London?”

“I am so sorry. It is all my fault. I have done so many things wrong, starting with sending Lydia letters when I was at Pemberley. I kept it secret, because at the time I did not see the harm in it. I did stop though, before we traveled to Netherfield. I am sorry,” Kitty said.

“I did not agree with father's decision to cut contact between you two. I knew it would cause more trouble than fix. I wish you had come to me sooner about your letters, but I understand why you sent them,” Elizabeth said. Georgiana seemed to relax a little, but Kitty could not seem to do the same.

“I am worried that Mr. Wickham will say something about Georgiana,” Kitty continued.

Elizabeth's expression darkened, “Perhaps we need to leave London earlier Than we planned. I will talk with Mr. Darcy. I am sure you understand that he must be informed as well.”

Kitty nodded quickly, “Of course.”

Elizabeth stood up and pulled Kitty into a hug, “It was very good of you to tell me this. I hope you know this.” Kitty could not bring herself to return the hug.

Elizabeth had told them that it may be best to only go out with family for the time being. There were some upcoming engagements that Mr. Darcy needed to attend, including a ball in a week's time. It would likely be their last large event in London for the season. Kitty was not as disappointed as she thought she would be. The stress of London was getting to her.

Mrs. Gardiner did come visit with Mary and Mr. Price a day after they had told Elizabeth about Lydia and they were hoping for a walk. Elizabeth felt confident enough to allow Georgiana and Kitty to go with Mrs. Gardiner as their chaperone and so she remained at home.

This was the first time Mr. Price had visited since Kitty had learned of her dowry. She was not sure how to act around him anymore. Their friendship had turned to something else, something that Kitty could not name.

Mr. Price was stiff and awkward, all his casual charm gone. He offered his arm to Kitty as they strolled through the street toward a nearby park. Kitty took his arm, but wished he had not offered.

“The day is quite nice,” Mr. Price said, but he sounded as if he did not care about the weather at all. To be fair, neither did Kitty. Mrs. Gardiner was walking with Georgiana and Mary and soon Kitty and Mr. Price were far enough ahead that their conversation would not be overheard. Kitty could not tell if this was by chance or someone's will.

“I have heard the good news,” Mr. Price began.

Kitty could not think of any news recently that she would consider good, “What news are you referring to, Mr. Price?”

“Mr. Darcy has made me aware that he has seen fit to give you a dowry. That is wonderful news. I am sure that you must be very happy,” Mr. Price said. His words sounded almost rehearsed.

“Happy,” kitty trailed off and then added, “I did have a dowry before. I am grateful for Mr. Darcy's kind generosity, but I hope you do not think that I asked for such a thing.”

“I would never assume something of that sort from you, Miss Bennet. Dowries and marriage are complicated business,” Mr. Price sighed, “There are many expectations placed upon young people to find a match as quickly as possible, to find the right match. Sometimes I wonder if we have any choice in the matter if we want to do what is right.”

Kitty was quiet for a moment, mulling over Mr. Price's words. She did feel trapped in a sense. She had an obligation to accept Mr. Price's proposal should it come, and everyone expected it to come, even Kitty at this point.

Kitty knew that Mr. Price was waiting for a response, “I think we can only try to do the right thing. It is always the best choice in the end.”

“The best choice for who?” Mr. Price asked.

Kitty thought before answering, “The people who matter.”

They soon arrived at a fountain that sat near the center of the park. There were stone benches placed around the fountain and small trees that had enough canopy to offer some reasonable shade. Kitty nodded at Mr. Price and broke away to sit beside Georgiana. Mr. Price chose to join Mary a few benches away and Mrs. Gardiner was content to sit herself on a bench between them and pull out a small book she had brought with her to amuse herself with.

“How was your walk with Mr. Price?” Georgiana asked, her perfectly even and cheerful. Kitty bit her lip and looked away.

Georgiana then asked, “He did not propose to you now did he?!”

“No!” Kitty waved her hands and then glanced at the others, but Mrs. Gardiner was busy ready and Mary and Mr. Price were in their own conversation and made no indication they could hear them.

“Mr. Price and I only talked of things like the weather,” Kitty continued. It was only partly true, but Kitty was tired of bringing up her dowry.

“My thoughts are so occupied by Lydia and Mr. Wickham and Mr. Huxley that I cannot even begin to think about the weather,” Georgiana said.

“I am the same,” Kitty admitted, “I was not sure what to say about Miss Bingley and Mr. Huxley, so I did not even mention them to Elizabeth. I do not want to embarrass Miss Bingley if she is falling for Mr. Huxley.”

Georgiana nodded, “I do not think Miss Bingley would like it if Elizabeth knew.”

“But, I worry that my conscience will not let me leave them be. Do you think she will listen to you if you tell her about Mr. Huxley's true intentions?” Kitty asked.

“No,” Georgiana shook her head, “She still thinks I fell for Mr. Wickham. She would not understand why I do not trust him unless I tell her the truth.”

Kitty could not ask Georgiana to do something so risky. There was no telling how Miss Bingley would react. Kitty sighed, “I am sorry, Georgiana, this is all my fault.”

“What?” Georgiana exclaimed, “Why would you say that?”

Kitty looked down at her hands in her lap, “I knew it was not alright to continue my letters to Lydia. I knew that what she wrote was concerning, but I was embarrassed and ashamed so I did not tell anyone. If Elizabeth had read the letters then perhaps she may have realized what Lydia was planning when I could not. I have always allowed Lydia more grace than I ought to have. She was my only friend, and maybe not a very good friend at that, but I was not good either.”

“Kitty, I think you are good,” Georgiana said.

Kitty shook her head and smiled softly, “Only because I want you to think that I am good. You never knew me when I was with Lydia. I let her do as she liked and I followed her no matter what she said. Georgiana, I laughed with her when she said something cruel in jest. My family can only speak about how much I have improved, even your brother said he was surprised by my temperament. They thought so little of me just half a year ago and they were right, I think. I was not a good person.”

Georgiana's hands balled into fists, “Kitty, I hate how everyone makes you feel. They act like they know you, but they always confuse you with Lydia. Maybe you did some things you ought not to have done, but we all have. It is part of growing up. Everyone is trying to compliment you, but they always make you feel small. Kitty, I think you are good because you are good. You are kind and smart and polite. I do not care if you have changed or how much you have changed or who you were before. I only care about who you are now.”

Before Kitty could second guess herself, she pulled Georgiana into a hug. Georgiana stiffened for a moment in surprise, but quickly softened into the embrace. How could anyone believe that she loved Mr. Price when Georgiana was right here?

Chapter Text

Chapter 28: Decided and Determined

The one true solace Kitty had was her regular visits to Lady Bingley. There she could just be Kitty. Unfortunately her troubles had ways of catching up to her.

“Good morning, Kitty,” Jane said coming into the room, “Good morning, Lady Bingley. Kitty I did not know you were visiting today. You always leave before we finish our breakfast and would join you. I heard the good news though, Elizabeth has told me.”

“What good news?” Lady Bingley asked. Kitty ducked her head down as if she was focused on a particularly complicated stitch.

Jane beamed, “Kitty must have not told you because she is being modest about it. She has a dowry now thanks to Mr. Darcy. It is a wonderful thing to be in love and able to marry.”

“And, has there been a proposal?” Lady Bingley asked calmly.

“Oh, not yet I am afraid. I am sure it will come soon. Do not fret, Kitty,” Jane said quickly. A maid came to bring Kitty and Lady Bingley their breakfast and Jane excused herself to go to her own. They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a good few minutes before Lady Bingley spoke.

“I do not like receiving information from my Granddaughter in law when it ought to have come from you,” Lady Bingley said.

Kitty sighed, “I am sorry. I had only wanted a place where it was not the topic of every conversation. Everyone is so happy for me and says how grateful I must be.”

“And you are not happy nor grateful?” Lady Bingley asked.

“Oh, I am grateful of course. It is quite a bit of money and Mr. Darcy has been so good to me. But, I could not say that I was happy,” Kitty explained.

Lady Bingley nodded and took a sip of her tea, “You do not ever want to marry and you will never fall in love.”

“I did not say I would never fall in love,” Kitty said quietly, looking away.

“Are you saying you love this Mr. Price?” Lady Bingley asked and added when Kitty shook her head, “Well, it seems to me that there is an easy solution to this dilemma. So no to Mr. Price and marry this man you do love.”

Kitty bit her lip and looked down at her work in her hands. She wished it were that simple. It would be if she loved a man. Then her family would support her in a way that did not hurt so much.

“The person I love does not love me back,” Kitty finally said. She worried if she said more that she was likely to tell Lady Bingley everything. Kitty was unsure how she would react. Kitty had been shocked when Georgiana had told her that she preferred women, but acceptance followed soon after. Kitty hoped the people she chose to surround herself with would react similarly.

Lady Bingley hummed in thought, “Young people's emotions change so frequently that this person may fall for you still, but either way you do not need to marry Mr. Price.”

Kitty looked up, “How can I not? I believe he must love me.”

“Does he? Has he said so? Has he acted in a way that gave you pause before everyone in your life decided for you? You let others sway Your actions and thoughts too easily, Miss Bennet. Think for yourself,” Lady Bingley said, a touch below cross.

Kitty bit her lip and thought about all of her interactions with Mr. Price. They had always been playful and friendly. He never said anything that made Kitty uncomfortable like Mr. Huxley had. The only times Mr. Price seemed not at ease was when he spoke of obligations to family and his gratitude towards her aunt and uncle.

“I do not know for certain if Mr. Price loves me or anyone for that matter, but I fear that he feels the obligation to marry me even stronger than I do. He is indebted to my aunt and uncle and if they are pushing him to propose I am sure that he will,” Kitty eventually said.

“Then say no,” Lady Bingley said simply.

“If I do that, what will stop my family from pushing another man at me? What if the next suitor is not as agreeable as Mr. Price? At least Mr. Price and I are friends,” Kitty shook her head.

“Then say no to that one as well. Say no to all of them if you would like,” Lady Bingley said.

“I am reliant on my family for a home and support. They will not support me forever,” Kitty argued.

Lady Bingley shrugged, “Come live with me. Be my companion when I move to the country. Come with us to find the home even. I will not push disagreeable suitors at you unless you want me to.”

Kitty could tell Lady Bingley was serious, even with the jest at the end. To live with Lady Bingley would mean she was away from Georgiana but at least she would be free. Free to love Georgiana in secret. Free to never marry a man. Free to be herself. Suddenly a new possibility was opened up to Kitty.

“May I think about it?” Kitty asked. She could not let go of the pull to do what her family wished of her.

Lady Bingley waved her hand, “Think all you like. We Plan to leave for the country soon though. We have only stayed so long at my granddaughter's request. She has a suitor that continues to come and bother her.”

Kitty nodded, but did not comment on the obvious mention of Mr. Huxley.

The day before their last ball, Kitty received a letter from her mother, although it was not in her mother's handwriting nor her stationary. Kitty gathered Georgiana and together the disappeared to Kitty’s room to open the letter.

“Is it from Lydia?” Georgiana asked when the door was closed.

“I must be,” Kitty quickly opened it to confirm and saw Lydia's quick handwriting and large signature, “It is.”

“What has she written?” Georgiana moved to sit on the bed once again and made room for Kitty to join her.

Kitty sat beside Georgiana but hesitated to begin reading the leader outloud. The last time she had read one of Lydia's letters, Lydia's words had embarrassed Kitty. They were likely to be brash and biting.

“It is alright,” Georgoana said, sensing Kitty’s resistance and the reason behind it, “I will not judge you for her words.”

Kitty nodded and began, “Dear Kitty, It was quite rude of you to leave without telling me where the Darcy townhouse is. I had to ask your other friends. They were so nice and helpful, but if I am to be honest, and you know that I always am, they did not seem too happy with you. You spent all of your time with me instead of them and they did not say but I know that they were slighted.”

“I do not think that is true,” Georgiana said, furrowing her brow.

“No, I do not believe so either,” Kitty shook her head and continued, “I have been all over London meeting all of Mr. Wickham's friends and of course helping Mr. X. Do you feel so silly for not knowing who Mr. X is? Now you do know but before I am sure that you were so confused. Mr. X is very close with Miss Bingley. It is so funny to think she believes she is a catch. She does not even try to hide her feelings. I cannot imagine what being married to her would be like and I will not imagine it for My health. Mr. X does not seem to care and has said that he may propose as early as after this next ball. If you are wondering, yes, it is the same exact ball you will be attending in one day time! Mr. Wickham has promised me a ball and I chose this one. I will hope to see you there and I am ready to surprise Lizzy and Jane. I know it will be great fun. I hope you will be in better spirits and not be such a bore like you were last time.”

“You are not a bore,” Georgiana said.

“I know,” Kitty said. “There is a little more left. I think you will be happier with your precious Mr. Price beside you. I hope you will have news of your engagement very soon. I will see you at the ball tomorrow.”

“Is that all?” Georgiana asked and when Kitty nodded she added, “To think she will be at the same ball. What are the odds? I suppose we follow the same circles as Miss Bingley so it is not so shocking. We should tell Elizabeth.”

Kitty hesitated, “If we tell her then she will read the letter and know about Miss Bingley. We do not want to embarrass her.”

Georgiana slumped back down, “What do we do then? How can we stop a proposal in one night?”

Kitty stood up to pace and think. They did not want Miss Bingley to marry Mr. Huxley. He was not a good man and no one deserved to be trapped in a loveless marriage against their knowledge. She was unlikely to believe Kitty or even Georgiana if they told her the truth, and even if she did, she would be embarrassed to have anyone know she had been tricked.

Kitty stopped, “we do not need to prevent Mr. Huxley from proposing. We only need Miss Bingley to say no.”

“How will we do that? She will not listen to us,” Georgiana asked.

“She may not listen to us alone, but she may listen to society. Perhaps we can spread rumors about Mr. Huxley that when they reach Miss Bingley they will sour her good opinion of him. Not about his trickery but perhaps about his fickle nature. We need not only tell the truth. Lying may be wrong, but maybe in this instance the morality may be overlooked,” Kitty explained.

Georgiana was silent for a moment, and Kitty began to worry her plan was not alright. It did feel like something Lydia would suggest, although she would suggest it just to cause chaos.

Kitty looked up as Georgiana began to speak, “I am not so creative as you with words. You will have to teach me what to say.”

Kitty smiled, “Of course.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 29: Honesty and Honor

The day of the ball felt similar to the before assemblies Kitty remembered from Longbourn. The Bingleys and the Gardiners had arrived at the Darcy's Townhouse to prepare and travel together to the ball as it was some distance across town. It gave them all time to visit as well.

Kitty had spent a good portion of her afternoon with Georgiana as they finalized their plan together. They had not told Elizabeth about Lydia's letter for fear that she would keep them from the ball altogether.

When they felt that their plan was as thoroughly thought through as possible they separated to their rooms to get ready. Kitty was going to wear her peach dress. It was her favorite evening dress by far. Georgiana had mentioned wearing the blue dress that Kitty had gifted her at Christmas. It made Kitty think of the last time she had seen Georgiana in the dress and that thought made Kitty blush.

The sounds from downstairs filtered into Kitty’s room. Laughter echoed throughout the house and someone had begun to play the pianoforte .

With the amount of people in the house, Kitty opted to style her own hair. Her paper curls had set nicely the night before and all day she had been careful to let them be. Kitty had gotten quite skilled at pinning her hair up without it frizzing. She brushed her hair back and pulled her curls up and fastened everything with a green bandeau. The result made Kitty smile with pride.

Her admiration was short lived, interrupted by a knock at her door. Kitty guessed it was Georgiana, already finished, so Kitty called out to come in.

It was not Georgiana, but Mary. Mary was in. New dress of a pale orange with white threaded embroidery around the hem and neckline. It was in a less conservative style than her old dress she typically wore and very pretty.her hair was pulled back less severe than Her usual style and curls framed her face.

Her face was what surprised Kitty. Someone had attempted to apply makeup to Mary’s face, possibly even Mary herself. White power was applied with a heavy hand, obvious and splotchy. A dark red rouge left nearly perfect circles on her cheeks. Worst of all were her eyes. What Kitty could only guess was burnt cork circled Mary’s eyes from a shaky hand. Kitty had once tried to apply the dark pigment to their eyes and eyebrows once when they were young but the effect left them to laugh and wash their faces clean immediately.

“Mary, who did this to your face?” Kitty exclaimed. Mary responded by choking back a sob and letting back lines of tears fall down her red and white cheeks.

Kitty jumped up to close her door before anyone ventured upstairs to find them and see Mary. Close up the work was even more glaring and awful.

“I wanted,” Mary managed, her shoulders shaking, “I thought I could do it. I bought the products when our aunt wasn't watching.” Mary opened her hands to show the offending makeup.

“Oh, Mary,” Kitty said softly.

“I know you have the utmost right to refuse me as I did to you before. You needed help and even offered yours, but I was rude and prideful. I am sorry,” Mary started to cry again and all Kitty could do was lead her to her chair beside the vanity.

Kitty went to get her water basin and a soft cloth, but pulled it out of reach when Mary reached for it, “Let me do it. You scrub your face too hard and make it red.”

“I thought the powder would Even out my complection,” Mary explained. She was beginning to calm as Kitty started to gently clean her face.

“You have the best skin of all of our sisters, even Jane. You just treat it too roughly. You do not need white powder. We are too young for it anyway,” Kitty said softly. Thankfully much of the soot was over the white powder and it came up with a little water.

Kitty cleaned Mary’s face in silence until Mary’s voice came out quietly, “Why are you helping me? You could have refused.”

Kitty thought for a moment, “I should have not said what I did to you. I should have not said I would never help you. I said that in anger and I did not mean it. You are my sister.”

“I cannot do hair well,” Mary admitted, “I was embarrassed and did not want to mess up your hair. I am sorry I did not just tell you so.”

“It is in the past now. You do not need to worry about that,” Kitty finished removing the last of the makeup from her sister, “There, now all you really could use is some rouge. Would you like some?”

Mary nodded and offered her own, but Kitty refused it, “The one you purchased is too dark for your skin. I will use mine instead.”

“Thank you,” Mary murmured.

Kitty began to apply the rouge lightly to Mary's cheeks, “Why did You want to apply makeup so suddenly? It is unlike you to be interested in things of vanity.”

Mary hesitated and looked like she may cry again. Kitty was quick to reassure her, “It is alright to indulge in vanity occasionally.”

“No, I,” Mary could not look at Kitty while she spoke, “I wanted one night, one last night to be beautiful. I know it is not logical.”

Kitty nodded, “It is human to want to look pretty.” Kitty thought about Georgiana and how she cherished the times that Georgiana complimented her. Mary must be the same and want the same.

“It is a terrible business,” Mary murmured.

“What is?” Kitty applied some color to Mary’s lips half distracted with thoughts of Georgiana.

“That we fell for the same person,” Mary said.

Kitty took a step back, her eyes wide, “What? You love..”

“Mr. Price, yes,” Mary hung her head low. Kitty was unsure if the shock of Mary having fallen in love was greater or the brief moment where Kitty believed Mary knew of her feelings for Georgiana.

Kitty tried to collect her thoughts, but when she did not speak, Mary continued in her place, “I know he will choose you. It is only logical and Mr. Price is very logical. You are the superior choice. You will be able to start a life together. Everyone else has already endorsed the choice. That is why I will be content with one more night where he is unattached. One last dance together.”

“Do you believe Mr. Price loves me?” Kitty asked.

Mary looked away, “There are times when we have spent time together that I thought, I believed that he shared my affections. He was so caring and attentive and I admit I am unused to the attention of a peer,” Mary paused for a moment, “He held my hand once, when the street was so busy and we might have lost each other. He could have offered his arm, but he did not.”

“Oh,” Kitty breathed, “I did not know of your feelings, Mary. I am sorry. I will not accept a proposal if you do not wish it.”

“No no! If he proposes you should accept. If he does love you, you cannot decline love on account of my fleeting emotions. It does not make sense to do that. I only need this night and I will be fine, I promise, Kitty.”

“Alright,” Kitty said, moving to finish the makeup. Her emotions a mix of disappointment and hope. She suddenly thought of Georgiana. She will be so disappointed when she learns the news. Kitty could never forgive herself for feeling hope when Georgiana would soon feel only heartbreak.

When Mary’s face was clean and pretty, Kitty excused herself to join the others downstairs. Most were moving through rooms, looking for things or people or readying themselves for departure. Only Jane had found herself a seat, completely alone and ready to leave when needed.

Kitty went to sit next to her sister and Jane smiled when she saw Kitty. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes watching the chaos unfold around them.

“Kitty, you look troubled,” Jane said eventually.

Kitty shook her head, “What could I be troubled about?”

“That is why I brought it up. I am not sure. Perhaps it would ease your mind to tell me,” Jane offered.

Kitty thought of all the things that were bothering her. There were so many, but there was only one she had not been able to share with anyone. She bit Her lip and looked down at her hands in her lap, her shoulders tensing. Would it really help if she could speak it aloud to someone. Jane was the kindest person she knew.

Kitty opened her mouth to start, but her voice did not come out. She tried again and again but each time the fear and uncertainty closed her throat up.

“It is alright, Kitty, you do not need to share of you do not wish to,” Jane said.

“No, I do want to, it is just… I am afraid,” Kitty admitted.

“You do not need to be, it is only me,” Jane smiled.

Kitty took a breath to calm herself and tried again, scarcely above a whisper, “I do not love Mr. Price. I am in love with Georgiana . I have been this entire time.”

Jane's silence lasted only a few moments but they felt like hours to Kitty, “And does Georgiana love you back?”

Kitty shook her head, “She does not even know, but I know she does not have the same feelings for me.”

Jane hummed to herself, “Hm, so you have asked her then?”

“How could I? I am selfish. I want to stay by her side as much as I am allowed. If I told her then she may push me away,” Kitty explained and then asked hesitantly, “Do you not hate me now? It is not accepted for a girl to love another girl.”

Jane wrapped her arm around Kitty’s shoulders, “I could never hate you Kitty. We cannot change who we happen to fall in love with, only the actions that follow. I wish I had been more upfront with my feelings to Mr. Bingley earlier. It could have saved us both a lot of heartache.”

Kitty stayed with Jane until it was time to go, Just talking about her feelings and Georgiana. It felt like she could suddenly breathe again. The relief that Jane accepted her was washing over her and her other worries had temporarily melted away. With Jane's support, her nervousness about the event of the night had all but vanished.

Georgiana appeared at the door way and looked at Kitty expectantly. She looked beautiful in her dress, the beads shimmering in the candlelight. Kitty thanked Jane and stood up to join Georgiana. Tonight would be successful, Kitty was certain of it. She and Georgiana were going to save Miss Bingley.

Chapter Text

Chapter 30: Rumors and Ruin

Kitty had done her best to not get involved in the rumor mill of London society. There were too many people to keep track of and too much confusion and miscommunication. But tonight, Kitty planned to use that to her advantage.

The ball they were attending was hosted at one of the newly build large assembly halls on the other side of town. Mr. Darcy had made a commitment to attend with his family.

When they arrived, Kitty could agree the building was very large and new, but not much else. It lacked the charm that most buildings in London seemed to have. Kitty could dwell little on her opinions of the hall, as they entered just as soon as they arrived.

The hall was filled with what seemed to be all of London's high society. That only worked in Kitty’s favor.

Georgiana caught up with Kitty and gripped her shawl. Kitty turned to her and could tell that Georgiana was extremely nervous. Kitty smiled to try and reassure her.

“It will work. Just remember to try to speak with people who do not know you so they cannot say where they heard the rumors from. It will start to spread quicker than you think,” Kitty whispered.

Kitty could not avoid the first dance with Mr. Price. He did not look happy, but he was all politeness and nice to Kitty. She wondered if he felt an attraction to Mary, and resolved to watch them tonight to try and see.

With the size of the arty it was easy to slip away from her family after the dance. They were all so preoccupied with their own conversation and enjoyment that they did not notice Kitty at all. Kitty found the first group of women that she might speak to and took a deep breath to center herself.

Kitty stepped up to the group and introduced herself with a different name and told them she was newer to town and that they seemed to be good people to meet. They accepted her more easily than Kitty expected and she joined the conversation for a while until they began to speak of gentlemen they fancied.

“I used to find a Mr. Huxley to be very nice and good looking. Have you heard of him?” Kitty asked innocently. When some of the girls agreed, Kitty continued, “That is until I found out the truth.”

“The truth?” one of the girls asked.

Kitty nodded solemnly, “Yes, I realized I was not the only girl he was intending to court. I would not have been as offended if he was not already engaged back in Newcastle!”

“Engaged!” the girls stepped closer to hear more.

“Yes they say he falls in love so quickly that he cannot keep track of all his loves. He even has let his estate fall into disrepair because he is too busy with courtship,” Kitty continued.

Kitty did not like how easy it was to convince people of Mr. Huxley's wrong doings. The next group of people were quite interested in the fire that Mr. Huxley had yet to order repairs for and another dance partner was certain he had seen Mr. Huxley around town arm in arm with at least three different women.

Kitty managed to meet back up with Georgiana after so many conversations that she lost count.

“How is it going for you,” Kitty asked as they sat down on a bench in sight of their families.

Georgiana sighed, “It is very hard to find a way to speak up,” she admitted, “but, when they realize I have gossip, everyone wishes to hear it.”

Kitty nodded, “everyone I have spoken to seems more interested in rumors than learning the truth. It makes me upset that I was like them before.”

Georgiana put her hand on Kitty’s arm, “But, you are different now. That is what is important.

Kitty found it necessary to spend some of her time with her family to avoid them finding suspicion in her or Georgiana's actions. So Kitty sat with Elizabeth and Mrs. Gardiner for a time.

“Aunt,” Elizabeth began with a smile, “I have heard some interesting news.”

Kitty tensed. Had the rumors reached Elizabeth already? She tried to act natural and turned to watch Mr. Price and Mary dance. They were smiling, that had to be a good sign.

Elizabeth continued, “I heard that my father is coming to visit you very soon.”

“Oh, yes, that is correct,” Mrs. Gardiner said, “Mr. Price has something to discuss with Mr. Bennet, so Mr. Bennet will be coming to stay with us for a day or so.”

“That is very exciting, do you not think so too, Kitty?” Elizabeth asked. Kitty snapped back to the conversation and let The words actually sink in. It was obvious what Mr. Price wanted to speak to her father about. He was going to ask permission to marry her. If only it had been Mary who had received the dowry then all of this could have been different.

Kitty muttered some reply to her sister and left her seat before Mary and Mr. Price could return. She wandered the room, just listening to the music and chatter of the occupants. Kitty could not make out the individual conversations so she was unsure if they were speaking of Mr. Huxley or not.

Kitty found a seat off in an outcove. She could not see her family, in fact she could not see much of anything behind the large statue. But Kitty only needed a moment to herself.

“Wait, Caroline!” Mr. Huxley's voice came from the other side of the statue. Kitty shrunk back into her seat.

“Do not call me by my name again. Do not speak to me again,” Miss Bingley said as they both came to a stop near Kitty. Kitty was thankful that they had yet to notice her. So long as they did not enter the outcove itself she would remain unseen.

“You believe anything anyone says, Caroline?” Mr. Huxley continued, ignoring her demands.

“Then tell me, what is the truth? Are you engaged in Newcastle?” Miss Bingley asked.

Mr. Huxley faltered, “We are not engaged. I never properly asked so it could not count as such. I made no promises.”

“But there is a woman?” Miss Bingley asked, “And more in London?”

“I will stop speaking with all of them for you, Caroline. All of them,” Mr. Huxley pleaded. With the little visibility she had, Kitty watched Mr. Huxley take a step forward And Miss. Bingley a step back.

“And what of your estate? Was it being in disrepair a lie as well? Is nothing in your life secure?” Miss Bingley said angrily.

“Please trust me,” Mr. Huxley said coming closer again, forcing Miss Bingley closer to the wall, “I will prove to you that my feelings are sincere.”

“Back away from me, Mr. Huxley!” Miss Bingley demanded and when he did not listen, Kitty was left with no choice but to intervene.

Kitty stepped from around the statue to see Miss Bingley trapped against a wall with Mr. Huxley reaching toward her.

Kitty stepped close and pull Mr. Huxley's arm away from Miss Bingley, “I believe you should leave, Mr. Huxley.”

“Do not touch me!” Mr. Huxley ripped his arm away but also stepped back in the process.

“Do not call on me again,” Miss Bingley told him. Mr. Huxley glared at the two of them then turned and stormed off. It was clear they were a subject of great interest for the other nearby guests. Kitty guided Miss Bingley to her outcove and let her have the seat. Kitty stood awkwardly, unsure what her next move should be.

“I am sorry,” Kitty tried. Miss Bingley's glare was sharp, but quickly softened.

“Thank you,” she said weakly, “I would prefer to be alone now.”

Kitty did not need to be told twice. She turned and left, taking another turn that brought her to a hallway. It was a little cooler in here so Kitty let herself relax for a moment. Kitty had almost composed herself when she saw Lydia follow her into the hallway.

“I know what you have done,” Lydia crossed her arms and looked very cross, “Do you know the damage you have caused tonight?”

“I do not know what you are talking about,” Kitty tried. Lydia stepped closer and looked down at Kitty.

“I should not have told you about Mr. Huxley's estate, but I had no idea that my own sister would betray me like this and spread it throughout all of London,” Lydia said.

Kitty took a breath, “Miss Bingley was being fooled. That is not right.”

Lydia laughed, “Since when do you care about Miss Bingley? She is a bore and mean to everyone. She deserves to learn her place, as do you as well.”

“I dislike you, Lydia,” Kitty said, standing straighter. She was tired of stepping back and letting Lydia do as she pleased.

This surprised Lydia, “What did you say?”

“I dislike you,” Kitty repeated, more confidently, “You have always been mean to me and you have been cruel to everyone around you. You only care for yourself. You made me feel small.”

“I was your only friend,” Lydia said, “Or have you forgotten?”

“That did not give you the right to take my things and make me feel terrible. You were a bad friend and an even worse sister. I do not need a friend like that anymore,” Kitty said.

Lydia laughed again, “Yes, you have Miss Darcy now,” she said mockingly, “Would you still like her if you knew how disgusting she is? If you knew what she has done?”

Kitty lowered her brows “Georgiana is a better person than you will ever be. Anything you say about her will only reflect badly on your husband. I would not think he would be too pleased with you if you were hasty in your actions.”

Lydia glared and Kitty continued, “I have told Elizabeth that you are in London. She is not happy with your actions so far. I doubt she will be willing to help you financially now. You are my sister, but I think some time apart would do us the most good. Please do not write to me anymore.”

“Kitty,” Lydia said, and she almost looked hurt but Kitty did not let it faze her.

“Goodbye Lydia,” Kitty Siad, leaving the hallway and hopefully the part of her life that had been so controlled by Lydia.

Kitty made her way back to her family who were all smiles at her arrival. Georgiana got up to greet her and there was a general consensus that they were tired enough to depart. Miss Bingley had slipped back into the group. Her eyes were tinged with red, but otherwise she seemed alright.

“Did it work?” Georgiana asked.

“Yes,” Kitty nodded. She felt more confident than she had in some time. It was as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She did not need to only be Lydia's sister anymore. She could be Kitty.

Kitty did not see Lydia as she left the hall and she was content to not see her for some time.

Chapter Text

Chapter 31: Character and Characterization

Kitty was afforded one day of peace. The day after the ball was pleasant. There were no callers and no letter save for the one Kitty wrote to Lady Bingley. She wrote to her about the ball and how Mr. Huxley would no longer be welcome in their circle. She sent the letter out Early in the morning and received a reply in the afternoon. She spent most of the day with Georgiana sitting and working on her embroidery and just enjoying the act of doing very little at all.

The next day did not afford Kitty the same luxuries. Very early in the morning, before she could depart to visit Lady Bingley, a note arrived for her. It was from Mr. Price, telling her that her father had arrived late last night. Mr. Price asked if he could see Kitty that morning, as he had something of importance to discuss with her. Kitty had no choice but to write a quick note to Lady Bingley to postpone her visit and ready herself for a visit to the Gardiner's home.

The only other person awake when Kitty was about to leave was Elizabeth. She yawned from staircase as Kitty was pulling on her cloak.

“Are you going to visit Lady Bingley?” Elizabeth asked as she came down the stairs.

Kitty shook her head, “I received a letter from Mr. Price. He wishes to see me and discuss something with me. Since he must be awake to send the note, I do not see a reason not to go earlier Rather than later.”

“Oh,” Elizabeth said smiling, “So it is happening now,”

“Something is happening,” Kitty offered.

“Well, I sincerely hope everything Goes as you would wish for it to go,” Elizabeth said, bending to give Kitty a kiss on the cheek.

Kitty looked away, “You should not say things unless you are certain you mean them.”

“What do you mean, Kitty? Of course I meant what I said. My deepest wish for you is that you are happy. Everything else will fall into place,” Elizabeth said.

Kitty could only thank her sister and leave before she said more than she wanted to.

The ride to the Gardiner’s was longer than the one to the Bingley’s so it gave Kitty time to think. Kitty wanted to be happy as well but would not everyone else being happy make her glad as well? Was not being selfish the wrong thing to do?

Kitty could not decide even as she was pulling up to the Gardiner's home. She could only enter the house and tell the servant to whom she was here to see.

Kitty did not have to wait very long. Mr. Price had been sitting in one of the downstairs rooms and had come himself to collect her.

“Good morning, Miss Bennet. Thank you for coming over,” Mr. Price said.

Kitty tried to smile, “Of course, Mr. Price.”

Mr. Price led her into a vacant sitting room. The fire was already going and the curtains had been opened to let in the morning sun. An abandoned book of mathematics lay on one of the couches. Mr. Price offered Kitty a seat, but Kitty did not sit.

“I think it would be better if I stood,” Kitty said.

Mr. Price nodded, wringing his hands together, “Right. That is fine, better even.”

Kitty stood and waited for Mr. Price to speak. He turned to look out a window and then thought better of it and turned back towards the fire and then to Kitty again.

“Miss Bennet, we have been good acquaintances since we met. I like your family immensely and I think you are a good person,” Mr. Price began and then paused.

“Thank you. I consider you a good friend as well,” Kitty said to encourage Mr. Price.

Mr. Price cleared his throat even though he did not need to, “Miss Bennet,” another pause, “Will you marry me?”

This was the moment that Kitty had been waiting for, dreading even. This was the question that would change her life in ways that she could not even imagine yet. Everyone would be expecting her answer and they all had differing opinions on what that answer should be.

Kitty took a breath, “I am afraid I cannot marry you, Mr. Price.”

Mr. Price blinked back at her, her answer breaking apart his nervousness. He took a seat, “May I ask why?”

“I do not love you, I am sorry,” Kitty explained.

“But,” Mr. Price furrowed his brow, “At the ball, you asked me about affections and how to win someone's heart. I had thought, was that not an obvious confession?”

Kitty took a seat across from him, her cheeks flushed, “I did not intend it to be so. I was truly looking for advice.”

“So, you have feelings for another?” Mr. Price asked and then added when Kitty nodded, “It is not that Mr. Huxley is it? I have heard some unsavory things about him of late.”

“No!” Kitty exclaimed, “I am not in love with a man at all.”

She paused, realizing what she had said. It only seemed to confuse Mr. Price even more. He stared into the fire, as if doing calculations in his head.

“You love no man, and yet you are in love,” Mr. Price murmured to himself.

“It is not-” Kitty began, but was cut off by Mr. Price's widened eyes and smile.

“I believe the only conclusion is that you are in love with a woman,” Mr. Price looked proud as if he had solved a particularly difficult math problem. Then he sobered some, “Is that even a possibility?”

Kitty blushed deeper and looked down, “It must be if I feel that way.”

“Is it Miss Darcy?” Mr. Price asked.

Kitty’s head shot up, “How did you..?”

“Well, most of your feminine company is a blood relative and I do not think Miss Bingley would be a likely candidate,” Mr. Price explained.

“I have other friends,” Kitty insisted, crossing her arms.

Mr. Price raised a brow, “Not ones you dote on so wholly.”

“Mr. Price, why did you ask me to marry you?” Kitty asked, her face still red. She would much rather talk about Mr. Price than her own unrequited feelings for Georgiana.

“What?” Mr. Price asked. It seemed as if he had forgotten that aspect of the conversation entirely.

“Are you in love with me?” Kitty asked.

“I am not sure,” Mr. Price admitted, “You have many many positive qualities And I do enjoy when we spend time together, but..”

“But?” Kitty pressed gently.

Mr. Price sighed, “But, I was always waiting for some spark, some understanding or recognition of a romantic attraction. Your family has been so good to me and they all wish to see us together. I thought you wished it as well. I felt that I could not disappoint so many people.”

“Did you feel that spark with me?” Kitty asked. She knew the feeling well.

Mr. Price looked away and Kitty could not help but ask, “Did you feel that attraction for someone else instead?”

“I do not honestly know. I never gave myself permission to examine it, to feel it even,” Mr. Price smiled sadly, “It matters little anyway. There will always be barriers in my way to true happiness.”

“Maybe not. Maybe things can work out for you,” Kitty offered.

“And what of you? What of your feelings and Miss Darcy?” Mr. Price asked.

Kitty jumped to her feet, “Is my father awake yet? I think it will be easier for me to explain my rejection to the proposal. You should not need to do that.”

Kitty’s father was indeed awake and in Mr. Gardiner's study. It was a small room lined with bookcases and a desk and chair and little else. Her father was reading a book at the desk when he called for her to come in when she knocked.

He looked up when she entered, “Ah, here to tell me some good news I think.”

Kitty gave a small smile, “I suppose that would depend on what you consider good news,” She steadied herself and added, “I have said no.”

This caught Mr. Bennet's attention, “And why have you done something like that? I thought you fancied this man, one of the only sensible things you have ever done.”

Kitty pressed her lips together, “I do not love him, father.”

“Still,” Mr Bennet sighed, “You will likely not find another man as agreeable as this Mr. Price. Everyone has told me how well you have been doing and how much you have changed. Perhaps I was the fool to believe them. You are just as silly as before.”

“Maybe I have not changed as much as people think. Maybe people have compared my actions to those of Lydia's. I wonder how that matters though. You did not dissuade Elizabeth when she wished to marry Mr. Darcy. How is this different? Am I not to be afforded the same courtesy or compassion?” Kitty asked.

Mr. Bennet looked at her sharply, “You have certainly gotten bolder. I will not force you into a marriage, but you will hear my opinions on the mistake you are making. Do you think you will find another suitor as well liked and reasonable as Mr. Price?”

“I am not certain that I even want to marry anyone. I am content to never do so,” Kitty said, holding onto the last of her bravery. Mr. Bennet sighed, but did not respond. He turned to look out the window. Kitty stayed silent as well. Her father could whisk her home should he want to. He could force her inside and never let her travel again.

“What do you plan to do with your life then?” Mr. Bennet asked.

“Lady Bingley, Mr. Bingley’s grandmother has offered to let me stay with her as a companion. I have accepted her offer,” Kitty explained.

“You are bold and thoughtful. Perhaps the silly girl I knew is no longer with us,” Mr. Bennet mused.

“I needed you then,” Kitty blurted suddenly.

“What?” Mr. Bennet asked.

There was no turning back now, “I needed your attention when I was young and silly. I needed your love as I was, not who I ought to have been. Perhaps things would have been different with Lydia if you had done the same for her.”

Mr. Bennet had the good decency to look remorseful, “Kitty, I will admit that when things are difficult I often shrink away. That is what I believed you to be doing now, but you are right. You deserve my understanding in your choice. I am sorry.”

Kitty nodded and smiled, “Thank you, father.”

Kitty did not want to break the fragile peace they had formed so she left the study Kitty had the carriage called and was preparing to leave when Mr. Price stopped her once more. She quickly wiped at her eyes before he could see them.

“Miss Bennet, before you go,” Mr. Price huffed, stopping to catch his breath. Kitty waited, her cloak half on.

Once Mr. Price had collected himself he stood straight and said, “I wanted to thank you for rejecting my proposal.”

Kitty smiled, “Anytime, Mr. Price.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 32: Future and Futility

Kitty knocked on the large wooden door of Mr. Darcy’s study. She had been informed by a servant that Elizabeth was already inside with Mr. Darcy. She had missed breakfast at both homes and it was too late to join Lady Bingley for breakfast. Kitty could feel the hunger, but her nervousness almost drowned the feeling out. Kitty tried to center herself. This was the last hard conversation she needed to have today and then it would all be settled.

Elizabeth opened the door and met Kitty with a warm smile. She ushered Kitty inside and closed the door behind her. Mr. Darcy offered her a seat and would not sit back down until women were seated.

“I am sure that you had an eventful morning,” Elizabeth said.

Kitty was worried if she did not get straight to the point she would lose her nerve to do so altogether, “I would like you to give my dowry to Mary.”

“Your sister?” Mr. Darcy asked, clearly surprised, “Why would you ask for such a thing?”

“Kitty, you have just gotten engaged,” Elizabeth said gently.

Kitty shook her head, “I am not engaged.”

“Did Mr. Price not just ask you?” Elizabeth furrowed her brow.

“He did, I said no. I do not love him,” Kitty let out a shaky laugh, “And neither does he love me. We were friends and everyone expected us to become more.”

“I am sorry, Kitty, but you do not need to give up your dowry. There will be other men, and one whom you will love,” Elizabeth said.

Kitty shook her head again, “You do not understand. It is Mary and Mr. Price who should be together.”

“Mary and Mr. Price?” Elizabeth asked.

“Mary loves him and I think he loves her back. I am not totally sure, but if he does then they cannot marry without a dowry. I want them to have a chance to figure it out. I do not very much want to marry anyway. I am sorry for not telling you both sooner. I believed Mr. Price had feelings for me, but now I know that is not true,” Kitty explained.

“So you plan to remain single forever then?” Mr. Darcy asked.

Kitty sat up straighter, “Lady Bingley has invited me to be her companion and I have accepted. I plan to finalize the details with her today, but I believe I will go with them to the country very soon. I will not be a burden on you anymore.”

“Kitty, you were never a burden, never once,” Elizabeth said earnestly.

Kitty felt the wetness on her cheeks before she realized it was from her own tears. She laughed through the tears, “I am sorry. I really do not know why I am crying.”

Elizabeth moved to Kitty’s couch and wrapped her arms around Kitty. Kitty leaned into her sister and let The tears fall. She did not realize how worried she had been. She had always felt that she was tolerated and never wanted. The relief felt like a warmth spreading through her chest.

“Yes,” Mr. Darcy cleared his throat awkwardly, “You Are always welcome her, Miss Bennet. As for your dowry, if you are completely certain I can give your dowry to your sister. I had always intended to give her a similar dowry in a few years time, should she find someone suitable. I do hope you are sure though.”

Kitty calmed enough to sit back up and nod at Mr. Darcy, “I am certain that I will not regret this. I thank you both for your kind words. I do intend to still travel with Lady Bingley as I have already given my word. I think leaving London would be good for me.”

“If you are sure,” Elizabeth said looking into Kitty’s eyes.

Kitty nodded again, “I am.”

Kitty left to visit Lady Bingley quickly after her conversation in the study. She wanted to avoid Georgiana for as long as she was able. It was selfish of her, but Georgiana would ask why she had rejected Mr. Price's proposal and Kitty was unsure of what she should say, or shouldn't say. Kitty was also not totally confident that she could keep her composure around Georgiana at this time. Every emotion felt too raw and seeing Georgiana was bound to hurt.

Lady Bingley offered to take a walk with Kitty, and Kitty knew it was to avoid the curious questions of the rest of the household. Even with her cane Lady Bingley was slow and could not travel far without resting. Kitty did not mind keeping pace with the older women though and sitting gave her reason to take in scenery that would often be overlooked.

“So, you listened to my advice then?” Lady Bingley asked, a twinge of smugness in her voice.

“I told Mr. Price that I would not marry him,” Kitty confirmed.

“And, what did he say to that?” Lady Bingley asked.

“He thanked me,” Kitty said. That made Lady Bingley laugh, and Kitty could not help but giggle as well and then add, “I believe he and my sister, Mary, have grown attached. Hopefully now they have an opportunity to see if that is the case or not.”

“We will see if your family pushes them together like they did to you,” Lady Bingley said, sitting on a nearby bench.

“I certainly hope not,” Kitty shook her head.

“You will not be there to stop them,” Lady Bingley said.

Kitty stopped, “Oh, I suppose you are right.”

“You may stay if you like,” Lady Bingley said.

Kitty shook her head, “No, I want to join you as a companion. I think I need to get away from everyone for now.”

Lady Bingley tsked, “Running from your unreturned love.”

“I am not running,” Kitty protested and then sobered some, “It is hard to be around them. I want to tell them how I feel whenever they are near me, but I know that will end in heartache. If I can calm my feelings then perhaps I will be able to see them again.”

“Perhaps,” was all Lady Bingley responded with.

With the end of their walk it was decided that Kitty would come to the Bingley’s townhouse the next day as they were to set off early the next morning after that. Mr. Bingley had already been informed, and was all good spirits about the plan. All Kitty needed to do now was to pack.

When Kitty returned to the Darcy's home, she was thankful that Georgiana was out on a walk with Elizabeth so that she could slip into her room unseen. When she closed her door and sat down on her bed she began to cry for the second time that day.

Everything was just happening so fast and Kitty had barely had time to breathe. She both missed Georgiana and dreaded their next meeting. Kitty longed for the days at Pemberley just months ago when she could just be herself with Georgiana and not have to worry about marriage or love. When the most exciting part of the day could be a walk to town. Kitty shook off the memories and wiped her eyes and tried to busy herself with packing. There was no changing things now.

Kitty did not have too much to pack but it was much more than she had originally brought to Pemberley. All of her new and mended dresses reminded her of Georgiana. She felt silly for feeling that way and tried to bury the emotion.

Everything she had done was for the betterment of those she loved. Mary needed the dowry and Mr. Price needed leave to find his own way. And Georgiana, Kitty was not sure what Georgiana needed. She will certainly be upset to learn of Mary’s affections for Mr. Price. Kitty wondered how deep that love went, but it ached to think about.

Georgiana was beautiful and kind and she would find someone quickly. Kitty knew it could not be her. If it was, Georgiana would have told her so months ago. She would not have been so happy for Kotty about her dowry. It only made sense to put some distance between them so Kitty’s feelings could calm.

All her convincing did not soothe the pain spreading through Kitty’s chest. She knew her worth now, but she could not help but wish that worth had been deserving of Georgiana's love.

Perhaps in a year Kitty may visit Georgiana and Pemberley again and her breath would not catch in her throat and her heart would not pound at Georgiana's touch. Would Georgiana even wait that long? Would she want to even remain friends if Kitty were to leave so suddenly like this? Kitty was unsure, but with each folded dress, she knew that this was what she ought to do.

When Kitty had packed all of her items into her bags, she found she had little else to do. Her embroidery work was still downstairs, and Kitty was not ready to leave her room yet. Instead she sat back on her bed in the same spot Georgiana often sat and then laid down to look at the ceiling. Kitty stayed like that for a while, half dozing, half reminiscing. She felt so young to have so many memories to look back upon.

Eventually Kitty sat back up and decided to write letters to her newfound London friends and explain her departure and to say goodbye. Happy for something to do, Kitty began to write, but her words felt fake and forced. Everything Kitty tried to do felt as if she were play acting at the task.

Kitty had nearly given into the necessity of leaving her room when a knock came at her door. Kitty went to open the door but froze when she heard the voice behind the door.

Chapter Text

Chapter 33: Fondness and Foundations

“Kitty, I know you are in your room. I have seen your cloak. I know you are home,” Georgiana called from behind the door.

Kitty could not bring herself to respond. All of her emotions came rushing back and she worried that if she opened her mouth she may begin to cry again.

Georgiana knocked again, “I am going to come in if you do not answer.” She sounded cross. Kitty did not respond and Georgiana did enter the room without permission. She looked cross.

Georgiana stopped at the sight of Kitty and asked, “Kitty, are you really going to leave like this?” there was a redness to Georgiana's cheeks.

“I,” Kitty faltered, “I am going to be a companion for Lady Bingley.”

“I know,” Georgiana said impatiently, “Elizabeth told me just now. She told me that you rejected Mr. Price and gave up your dowry and now you are to leave. Do you know how awful it was to have to hear from Elizabeth instead of from you? Elizabeth thought I already knew. She did not think you would try to leave without even saying goodbye.” Georgiana was Upset. Her eyes were red and her voice seemed rough.

Kitty could feel herself shrinking back into herself, “I would have said goodbye.”

“That is not the point!” Georgiana cried and then she slowed when she saw the suitcase beside the bed, “How soon are you leaving? You have already packed?”

“I go to the Bingley’s tomorrow. We leave London the next day,” Kitty said quietly.

“Is this all I am to you?” Georgiana asked quietly, “I thought we were friends.”

“We are friends,” Kitty insisted. Kitty could feel everything unraveling. Everything she had tried to hold close was drifting away from her and soon she would be all alone.

“This is not something that a friend would do,” Georgiana said.

Kitty could feel the tears pooling in her eyes but she tried to roughly wipe them away. She was losing Georgiana and it was not fair. She had done her best to do everything right. If she had simply married Mr. Price then so many people would have been unhappy.

“I am doing my best,” Kitty managed, “I do not know what I can do to make things better.”

“Talk to me,” Georgiana softened. She stepped farther into the room, closing the door behind her. Her cloak was still on.

“I do not know what to say,” Kitty admitted.

“Do you want to tell me why you rejected Mr. Price?” Georgiana offered. She gestured toward the bed and sat down. Kitty was unsure if her nervous energy would let her sit, but she tried anyway.

“I do not love him and he does not love me,” Kitty explained. She was able to dry Her face, but now it felt raw.

“I know you had said so before, but I thought your feelings changed and with the dowry, were you not happy?” Georgiana asked. She was close enough to Kitty that their skirts touched, but to Kitty, Georgiana felt miles away.

Kitty swallowed, “My feelings have not ever changed. Mary is the one who loves Mr. Price. She told me so before the ball. I am sorry, Georgiana.”

“Wait, why are you sorry?” Georgiana looked confused.

Kitty fidgeted with her hands in her lap, “I know,” she said.

“Know what?” Georgiana pressed.

“I know,” Kitty took a breath, “I know that you are in love with Mary. I thought she felt similarly, but I was wrong.”

Georgiana pulled back and then stood up, “You know that I..,” she let out a laugh, “Is that what you believe then? That I fancy Mary and will be heartbroken just now.”

“Georgiana..,” Kitty tried, but Georgiana did not let her continue.

“I befriended Mary for you, Kitty. I wanted your family to like me. Mary ended up being a good friend and a good person, but just because I am friends with a woman does not mean I will fall in love with them. All this time you believed that?” Georgiana asked. She shook just slightly.

“I thought… I am so sorry,” Kitty could feel the tears forming again and she hated herself for them.

“I just do not understand you at all, Kitty,” Georgiana shook her head.

Something in Kitty broke and let slip some anger of her own, “Do you think that this is easy for me?” She asked, standing as well. She wanted to pace, but held herself back.

“What could be difficult? You are just leaving,” Georgiana shrugged.

“I am leaving because of you,” Kitty blurted out.

That gave Georgiana pause. She took a step back, her mouth fallen open and covered by her hand.

“Wait, I said that wrong. I did not mean that,” Kitty said, taking a step forward, but it was matched with a step back in time by Georgiana.

“What did you mean then?” Georgiana demanded.

Kitty moved to speak, but she could not find the words. All the scenarios that Kitty had imagined never included Georgiana mad and hurt. Kitty did not know how to fix things without ruining their friendship forever. Even now they were still friends, even with Georgiana so upset. A pane of glass between them That Kitty was too afraid to break.

“I can only imagine that you meant what you said,” Georgiana said.

“No wait,” Kitty said, “I can tell you, I will tell you. Perhaps you will hate me more for it, but I cannot leave things like this.”

“Do you think I hate you?” Georgiana asked softly.

Kitty shook her head but said, “I think you may. I give you permission to if you do, not that you need it.”

Kitty twisted her hands together and looked away. Looking forward was too difficult. She could give herself that one last selfish act.

“Georgiana, I did not want to marry Mr. Price because I do not love him. I am in love with you,” Kitty said almost too quietly for Georgiana to hear but she did hear.

“Me?” Georgiana asked. Kitty nodded, still unable to look at her.

“But you never said… I thought you liked men!” Georgiana exclaimed.

Kitty shrugged, “I only know what I feel.”

“And you feel love for me? A romantic love?” Georgiana questioned.

Kitty nodded and squeezed her eyes shut to will her emotions at bay. In her more cruel imaginations Georgiana would laugh at the thought of loving Kitty back. Kitty figured she could handle any response except for that.

Kitty could feel hands softly untwist her own hands apart. In her surprise, Kitty looked back at Georgiana who was now right in front of her. Georgiana's eyes were red and wet as well but she had a small smile.

“Kitty,” she began, her voice as gentle as her hands, “Do you really not know? Have you not known how much I have loved you?”

“You have?” Kitty asked.

Georgiana laughed, “Yes, I do. Kitty, I love you back.”

Kitty had imagined plenty of times how a kiss would feel. She did not expect it to be so soft. It felt like relief and happiness and warmth. They were both a little clumsy and Georgiana giggled when they broke apart, a little breathless.

Kitty wanted to try again, but Georgiana wiped at Kitty's tears instead and led her by the hand to sit down on the bed. Kitty had so many questions, and Georgiana did too. Kitty wanted to know how long Georgiana had known she loved her most of all.

“The night at the inn. You fell asleep first and I stayed up just so relieved that you didn't hate me, and I knew it had to be love then. I did not tell you of course,” Georgiana explained.

“I knew the night of the Netherfield ball, when I saw you in your dress. I think I loved you even before that, but I was too afraid to face my own feelings,” Kitty said, blushing at the memory.

“I wish we had been more open,” Georgiana said.

“Jane said something similar. I should have listened to her instead of trying to run away from everything. I still will go with Lady Bingley as I have made a commitment, but my feelings are still the same,” Kitty said.

Georgiana laced her fingers with Kitty’s, “What will we do now? Should we tell anyone?”

Kitty shrugged, “Do you wish to tell anyone? Jane and Mr. Price already know of my feelings for you if not that they are reciprocated.”

Georgiana's eyes widened, “You told Mr. Price?”

Kitty looked down in embarrassment, “He figured it out himself.”

“Jane, I am sure was all sweetness and understanding,” Georgiana said and continued when Kitty nodded, “But how did Mr. Price react?”

“He was more pleased with himself for figuring it out than anything else. He did not seem to mind much at all. We do not need to tell everyone at once. When you are ready you can tell whomever you like. I think our families are more than understanding. If not, there is always Jane,” Kitty said.

Kitty and Georgiana sat in silence for a moment. Kitty finally felt her pulse calm and her thoughts settle. Once again she felt the tears begin to fall. Georgiana wiped them gently.

“Why are you crying?” She murmured.

Kitty shook her head, “I am just so happy that I cannot take it.”

Georgiana smiled, “so you are happy then?”

“And hungry,” Kitty admitted.

Georgiana laughed and leaned over to kiss Kitty’s cheek, “Let us get you something to eat then.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 34: Endings and Epilogues

With many tears and promises to write and see each other soon, Kitty did depart with the Bingleys. After a thorough search, Mr. Bingley found a suitable estate in a neighboring county of Derbyshire and Lady Bingley settled in a cottage next to her grandson. After they were happy and settled Georgiana was the very first to visit.

Kitty and Georgiana never broke contact, sending letters to each other almost daily. Jane was the first to know of their happy relationship and was all congratulations. Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth were told in due time and the shock for Mr. Darcy was so great to needed three days to process the news. Georgiana had never been so fretful as those three days, but Mr. Darcy eventually came around and accepted as best he could the odd relationship.

Mary remained in London with her aunt and uncle and benefited greatly from their attentions. Her pride softened and so did her countenance. Mr. Price spent more of his time with Mary and by the next fall they were happily engaged.

Miss Bingley found she did in fact prefer the country and the company of Kitty was nearly tolerable. Her pride mended easily and she found her need to find a partner lessened by the day. Still, should a very agreeable and suitable suitor come around she would not be opposed so long as there were no rumors surrounding him.

Lydia did continue to write to Kitty, but Kitty did not respond for some time. Her need for that relationship no longer bothered her.

Kitty found her time split between Lady Bingley and Pemberley. Georgiana visited Lady Bingley often and they found each other's company to be good. Kitty and Georgiana were quite content, but they were their happiest whenever they were together and everyone around them were happy to oblige.