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Chapter Text

This doesn't make any sense!

"Ugh!" She growls, crumpling up the stupid sheet of paper and throwing it. "Screw this, screw that, screw everything! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!"

I lived in an English speaking country in my previous life! How is it possible to fail my English test?!

The ball of paper lands smack on the head of the loser standing in front of her.

"Hey, watch it, Meatball-head!" He says, unscrunching the page with a whistle. "Twenty-four percent? Wow. You really need to study harder, Meatball-head."

Meatball... head?

"Hey." Her lips twist into a manic grin. "What did you just call me?"

"Your buns look like meatballs." The jerk points, snickering.

Usagi twitches at the gesture.

"Listen up, buster. My name is Tsukino Usagi - Tsukino-san to you. I've had a bad day." She drops her bag, digging her finger into his chest as she glowers at his face. "Don't make me ruin yours t—oh, your face!"

Her eyes widen in panicked recognition.

Oh, fuck.

She isn't supposed to meet Mamoru yet. In fact, Usagi was actively avoiding him. She hadn't wanted to meet him ever!

"What about my face?" Mamoru asks, smirking. "Don't tell me you've fallen for my strikingly good looks—-"

"—As if!" Usagi shrieks, clenching a fist. "It just looks too damn punchable! That's all! Now give it back!"

She lunges for the crumpled paper, cursing as he lifts the test higher than her arm's reach.

"Hand it over - it isn't yours! Give it to me!"

"You threw it at me so it's my property now."

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?" Usagi glowers. "Picking on a little lady like me is an awful thing to do."

"You're right about one thing." He grins. "You're little, but you aren't a lady."

"Says the overgrown lout who takes pleasure in the tears of a minor." She hisses, snatching back her test. "And I didn't throw it at you. I threw it and it just happened to hit you. It was an accident, okay?"

He nods with a sage expression.

"So you're a klutz and a dumb blonde."

What?

Her face freezes.

"That's it." She picks up her bag and shoves her test inside. "I'm leaving. You're a sexist waste of time. I may be blonde, maybe even clumsy, but I'm not dumb. I ace all my subjects. English is the only—-Ugh! Why bother explaining to an uncouth jerk like you?"

His smug expression melts away, twisting into genuine remorse. He just crossed a line, and he knows it.

"Wait! I didn't mean that." He calls after her with a sigh. "Look, Meatball-head, erm—Tsukino-san, that was uncalled for. I don't know why I said that. I... I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."

Usagi scoffs.

"Really," he insists, face falling. "I don't know what came over me. I'm not—you probably won't believe me, but I'm not usually like this."

"So what? You saw me and though, 'oh, wow. She looks teasable!'?"

Mamoru opens his mouth, closes it. Then, opens it again.

"It sounds ridiculous when you put it that way." He trails off quietly, scratching his cheek.

This is probably a reincarnation thing. Usagi sighs, shaking her head. He seems genuinely remorseful. Ugh. Now I'm starting to feel guilty because I know he can't help himself.

It doesn't excuse his unforgivable words, but it does makes it easier to understand why he did what he did. It's a classic example of pigtail-pulling by a boy who loves pestering his crush.

"Let me make it up to you," he offers, "I'm pretty fluent in English myself. I'll tutor you - free of charge."

"Tempting." She admits, but remains firm. "But no."

It's better not to get further involved with him.

"I really do feel awful about what I said." Mamoru insists. "Please, let me help."

Damn.

She did need the help.

English just wasn't working out for her.

"Alright, I'll bite." Usagi crosses her arms. "Don't make me regret this."

"I won't." His face lights up. "I'm Chiba Mamoru. Call me Mamoru."

"Nice to meet you, I guess." She sighs, already regretting everything.

::

Usagi groans into her hands.

The cat opens its mouth.

"Please." Usagi begs. "Please tell me you aren't here to recruit me as a crime fighting magical girl whose goal is to defend the world from evil alien invaders."

The cat closes its mouth.

"Oh, good."

"How did you know?" Luna asks suspiciously, crushing her hopes and dreams of a normal second life.

Usagi wants to scream.

::

"Respectfully," she grits, "I refuse. Find someone else. I can't—I'm fourteen, there's no way I can run around fighting monsters. I have school. I have a life."

Not to mention magical girls were stupid as hell.

"If you don't protect this world, who will?" Luna retorts. "You won't have a life to live if the world is destroyed. You and everyone you love will—"

"Stop trying to guilt trip me." Usagi snaps. "Why don't you go find Sailor V or some other galactic warrior. I'm sure there are others who can be of assistance."

"Maybe so." Luna acknowledges. "But I found you. Eventually, we'll find the others, but we'll need all the Sailor Scouts if we're going to win."

I'm sure they'll be fine without me. She tells herself, inwardly hating how uncertain her thoughts seem. They'll be fine. Usagi was just a whiny crybaby anyways.

She was also the moon princess and user of the Silver Crystal, but that was an issue for another day.

This isn't her problem.

"Do you really want to sit back and watch the earth get destroyed?"

"Yes." She bites spitefully, followed closely by a quiet. "No."

"Then take this brooch and say, 'Moon Prism Power, Make-up!'"

There's only one good thing about following the original plot points and that's predictability. The future sucks.

If she follows the original plot, then she'll have the advantage.

"Do I have to?" Usagi cringes, taking the brooch with great reluctance.

"You must!" The feline fiend nods solemnly.

She grimaces as the brooch burns in her palm. Doing this is going to make her look so stupid.

"Moon." She grits venomously, pinning the brooch to her shirt. "Prism. Power. Make-up."

Light erupts from the magic jewelry, engulfing her completely. Her body feels warmth.

Usagi waits for weird music and choreography to overtake her.

Thankfully, it never comes.

That's one thing she's very glad turned out to be an exaggeration in the anime.

"Huh." She blinks, staring at her reflection. "The skirt is too short. Who the hell fights in an outfit like this?"

"You do, apparently." Sasses the cat.

"Unwillingly." The now Sailor Moon crosses her arms bitterly.

Chapter Text

"Come on, Usagi-chan." Naru insists. "Buy something - some earrings, a necklace, or maybe a ring. Something nice ought to cheer you up! You deserve it."

"I failed a test." Usagi deadpans. I didn't think it possible, but somehow I did worse than the original Usagi. "Rewarding bad grades is a terrible idea, Naru-chan."

Besides, this jewelry might be cursed. She adds privately.

She isn't certain if Jadeite has already replaced Naru's mother with Morga, but she wants to be ready just in case.

"It's alright," Naru pats her back. "You can't be perfect all the time. You're human, too. Bad grades are a part of the package."

"I'm actually a kind of moon alien." Usagi corrects, just to be contrary.

Naru laughs.

"You're so funny, Usagi-chan."

"I know." She continues blandly. "I'm such a comedian."

She checks her watch.

"I'll take my leave now." Usagi says. "I need to study for my make-up test."

"Good luck." Naru waves.

She slips out of the shop and crosses the street, setting herself up in a café right across the jewelry store.

The door jingles as another customer enters.

"Hey, Tsukino-san," Mamoru salutes, pulling a chair and sitting himself down beside her. "Sorry for being late, I—uh, why are you staring at that store with binoculars?"

"I'm waiting for the inevitable alien invasion to arrive." She answers, still peering at the jewelry store without sparing him a glance.

"At a jewelry store?"

"They like jewels, okay?" She snaps defensively.

"O... kay?" He blinks. "Uh. But you do need to study for your test, don't you?"

Usagi scowls, slamming the binoculars onto the table.

The only reason I failed that test was for plot purposes! I know English! I know that I know English!

"Quiz me!" She demands.

"Alright, alright. Just calm down." Mamoru laughs, flipping open his book. "Now then, let's check your reading and pronunciation. Read this paragraph aloud..."

Usagi glances at the tattered pages and yellowing paper. It's apparent that this book is well-loved.

"Two houses, both alike in dignity." She begins, clearing her throat. "In fair Verona, where we lay our scene—"

Usagi's face twists into a grimace, voice cutting off.

"Romeo and Juliet?"

"I thought you'd like it." He raises his brow. "You seem like the type of girl to enjoy tragedy."

She snorts.

"I've already had a lifetime of tragedy." Usagi tells him bitterly. "The ending of Romeo and Juliet always leaves me wanting."

It hurts to see an ending so similar to her own. It's terrifying, and makes her wonder if she'll end up like Juliet again.

Unlikely, she tells herself, I'm wiser, now. I'm not bound by her choices.

Usagi doesn't say anything more, but there's something in her expression that strikes Mamoru as odd. She's subdued in a way he's never seen before (which should make sense considering he's only met her once before, and she was happy-ish that time, but somehow it doesn't).

Her sadness hurts him.

She looks like Juliet... sad. Mamoru thinks moments before his arm snaps out, startling them both as it latches onto her sleeve. The gesture was probably supposed to be comforting, courtesy of Endymion's lost memories, but without Mamoru actually identifying the feeling as 'hey, Serenity is crying. Let's comfort her.' it just made things really awkward.

In response to the confused gesture of comfort, Usagi flinches back, mentally shrieking.

What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fu—

"Uh," Mamoru blinks in shock, staring down at his hand. "I—I'm sorry, I don't know what... came over me."

She forces a smile that looks more like a grimace.

He should let go, but his fingers aren't listening. He doesn't want to let go. Why won't he let go? Should he let go? This is weird. He knows he's acting weird and... oh, now she's staring at him like he's weird.

"Erm."

"This harassment really has to stop." Usagi says without any real bite, shrugging off his arm. "I'm a minor, you know."

He blinks stupidly.

"Well, so am I." Mamoru recovers a moment later. "Why do you treat me like some old creep? Sixteen isn't that old."

"Sixteen?" She blinks in surprise. "You're sixteen? You don't..."

That doesn't make sense. Unless...

Oh. Oh! This isn't the old Sailor Moon anime world, is it?

Mamoru smiles, causing her heart to seize up.

Nope.

Nope. Nope. Nope!

Abort mission! We are not falling for this! No feelings allowed!

Feelings usually result in death and heartbreak.

"You don't look it." Usagi finishes with a slight flush. "A-anyways, from ancient grudge break to new mutiny..."

::

Night falls, and so do her expectations.

Expectations of herself, that is.

"Oh no." She drawls, staring blankly at the shop's display case. "I've broken into my best-friend's mom's store. I'm a vandal - a scoundrel - a criminal."

"Focus, Usagi!" Luna scolds. "You're doing this for Naru's own good."

"Ah, yes." She deadpans. "Let me resort to committing crimes for the greater good. I wonder what other lines I should cross next? For the greater good, of course."

She pauses, listening intently as shivers scurry down her spine. Something isn't right.

"Ah, f—!" She curses, grabbing Luna by the scruff and diving for cover as the glass display case shatters.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are..." the shrill voice hisses from within the shadows.

Hell no. Usagi heaves, removing her tiara. I've seen enough horror movies and thrillers not to fall for that.

She pauses.

Why am I the one cowering? If anything, that thing should be very afraid.

Usagi is angry.

An angry Usagi is a terrifying one.

"Don't do it, Sailor Moon—" Luna cringes.

Snarling, Usagi steps out of her hiding place.

"Hey, ugly!" She yells as Luna faints in horror. "Shrivelled corpses like you belong six feet under! In the name of a gigantic piece of space rock, I'm going to crush your skull beneath my heels and curb-stomp your brain into slushy mush!"

Morga shrieks in anger(?), and lunges, stretching her neck and arms to unnatural proportions as she swipes at the moon warrior.

"I'll drain your life-force!"

Sailor Moon cackles, backflipping away from Morga's frenzied attacks.

"You want my life-force, bitch? Come take it!" She mocks, reeling back her arm. "In the meantime, eat this! Moon-fucking-tiara Boomerang!"

She throws the tiara towards Morga and watches in dissatisfaction as it clatters to the ground.

"No swearing!" Luna hisses in warning. Apparently, magic doesn't acknowledge expletives.

"Fuck!" She swears, now tiara-less as she narrowly dodges a wrinkly fist to the face. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

Sailor Moon would greatly appreciate her magic wand right about now.

I suppose my infinite rage and spite will have to suffice! She spits onto her palms and snatches the monstress' arm.

Immediately, she feels a drain in her energy. Knees going weak as she grits her teeth and yanks the negamonster towards her, using its arm like a yoyo string.

"I'm going to slit your stomach, take out your guts and put them in a bowl!" Sailor Moon roars, smashing Morga's head repeatedly against the fragments of the glass display case. "Stop—-moving you damn—-ugh! Let me tear you apart—-properly!"

She thrusts her elbow into the monster's gut and bashes her heel into its face so hard it causes a deformed tooth to fly out.

"Hahaha! Die! Die! Die!" Sailor Moon cackles, gleefully using Morga's unnatural flexibility to turn her into a living evil pretzel. "Cower in the presence of the one and only Sailor Moon!"

Tearfully, Morga screeches in terror, trying to claw her way out of the crazy moon princess' clutches. Unfortunately, Usagi has an iron grip.

"Where the hell is your boss?!" She demands violently. "I'm going to beat the evil out of him!"

"Please—-! Spare me!" Morga wails. "I have a daughter!"

"No, you don't." Sailor Moon laughs as she picks up her tiara off the bloodied floor.

Morga never has the chance to scream as a red rose finds itself impaled into her eye. Screaming, the monster disintegrates into ash.

Sailor Moon stares, bloodied tiara in hand, at the masked kill-stealer above.

"Are you alright, Sailor Moon?" Tuxedo Mask asks, gracefully landing beside her.

"I was fine." She answers shortly, standing taller. "I was doing fine on my - "

She wobbles.

"Erk." Sailor Moon says as her legs give out, adrenaline fading.

Tuxedo Mask catches her dutifully.

"You had a lot of energy stolen." He tells her with a frown.

"Energy-smenergy." She groans. "Someone needs to stop the jewel stealing aliens. It's unfortunate that it had to be me, though."

Tuxedo Mask pauses.

"Did you just say jewel stealing aliens?"

"They like jewels, okay?" She snaps defensively, feeling a weird sense of deja vu.

"Oh." Tuxedo Mask whispers breathlessly. "Oh."

"What."

"Usagi, you're—-"

SHIIIIIIIIIII—-

"Bunny who?" She blinks, plastering a confused expression on her face despite inwardly screaming. "Listen, I may be Sailor Moon, but bunnies freak me out. They're so cute in the beginning, but then they grow up and—ugh."

"I know it's you." Tuxedo Mask tells her, still carrying her like the princess she secretly is.

Why does Tuxedo Mask know Usagi? Does he remember being Mamoru?! Wait—-wait—-is that how it's supposed to be in the manga? The old anime wasn't like this!

"I'm sorry." She says as genuinely as she can. "I don't completely understand what's going on here. Who are you?"

"I—-you can call me 'Tuxedo Mask,' Sailor Moon."

"That's... creative." She glances him over. "I would never have put two-and-two together."

"Do you really not recognize the name?" He asks with a frown.

"I don't remember being anyone but Sailor Moon." She lies, then makes herself sound unsure. "But I can't remember what happens between being Sailor Moon and the... uh,"

I guess I'll just reuse 'Darian's' memory loss thing.

"The blackouts." She finishes sheepishly.

"Blackouts?" Tuxedo Mask repeats.

"Yeah." Sailor Moon nods. "I can't remember what happens during my blackouts."

"I... see." He says thoughtfully.

She shifts.

"You can put me down now."

Tuxedo Mask, ever the gentleman, lowers her onto the ground instead of dropping her.

::

"Hey, Tsukino-san."

Usagi freezes.

Why are you waiting outside my school?

"Hey, Usagi. Is that your boyfriend?" Naru whispers.

"No." Not yet. Not ever, if I'm careful.

"Let me walk you home." Mamoru offers.

"I was going to walk home with Na—"

Usagi glances around. Naru, it seems, has disappeared without a single trace left behind. How suspicious.

She thinks she's helping, but she's really not.

Her eye twitches.

"N-nevermind." She grits. "Thanks for the escort."

"No problem." Mamoru shoots her a smile.

They walk a few peaceful minutes in silence. Ah, glorious silence.

Then, Mamoru reveals his hand.

"Did you do anything interesting last night after our tutoring session?"

So that's what you're after.

"Not really." Usagi says coolly, then makes herself appear to brighten. "But I had a wicked dream. There was a really cute guy in a tu—erm, I mean, I had an interesting dream."

She's teasing him.

It's a little mean, but she can't help it. Messing with people is the highlight of her second(?) life.

"Interesting." He smirks despite the growing blush spreading across his face. "Tell me more."

"Well, there was a monster that I got to beat up!" She beams. "I bent her into a pretzel!"

"I... s-see."

"And then my dream self went all stupid and played the damsel in distress." She scowls, sighing. "But I guess dreams are just like that sometimes.... It's not like they're memories, or anything."

Hint, hint. I can't get any more obvious than that.

"Yeah." He laughs forcefully. "Dreams."

"At least it wasn't that dream I had about being a moon princess." Usagi says offhandedly as she walks ahead.

Mamoru freezes.

"What did you say?"

Oops.

"I don't remember." She lies.

Chapter Text

"What." He says.

"What." She echoes, panicking. "It's just a dream. It's nothing. Just a stupid embarrassing dream that I'll probably forget about."

Mamoru isn't convinced.

"Were you the only one in that dream?" He presses desperately. "Was there anyone else?"

Usagi weighs her options.

She could just tell him the truth and increase the chance of him recovering his memories by like, a hundred percent, or she could just not tell him. If she tells him, she won't be able to avoid the inevitable shared destiny they have. On the other hand, however, it feels... icky withholding this information like that.

Guilt is annoying that way.

If he becomes Endymion again he'll never be free to make his own choices as Mamoru.

But who is she to choose for him?

What if he gets kidnapped and turned evil? She thinks, worried. I don't want to deal with that.

How annoying this dilemma is.

If their roles were reversed, would she want to know?

No, she thinks hesitantly, then backtracks, maybe?

It's not like Usagi actually remembers being Princess Serenity. She just knows that she is because of her other set of past-memories. It's weird. She knows she used to be a person without actually remembering that she was that person.

Does she even want to remember?

She doesn't know.

All she knows is that she's selfish.

Incredibly selfish.

If possible, she would rather him never recover his memories.

He's already beginning to remember, and if it isn't on her terms it'll be to Beryl's benefit.

Evil Endymion sounds like more of a pain than she wants to admit.

If he's going to remember anyways, it might as well be on my terms.

If there's one thing that she hates most, it's not being in control. Usagi has an almost pathological need to be in control.

Yeah, she has problems. Point?

If Fate weren't such a bitch I wouldn't be such a control freak.

"There was someone else." She admits eventually after much consideration. "My dream was like something out of a fairytale... there was a princess and her prince. Serenity and Endymion."

Instantly, the names trigger something within him.

Mamoru inhales sharply, eyes widening as his body seizes.

His reaction is quite telling.

He remembers something.

How much does he remember?

Did he remember everything? Or did he just connect her to his dream princess? It's impossible to tell.

Usagi panics a bit.

"S-sounds like a ripoff of Selene and Endymion, doesn't it? Haha..." she flusters. "Greek mythology. Love it. But like I said, it's just a stupid dream and—-"

"I found you." He whispers breathlessly.

He stares at her with unmistakable longing then shakes his head with a sigh.

"What's that?"

"It's nothing." He says though he very clearly said something.

Yeah... There's definitely no turning back now. She hides a wince.

"A-anyways," Mamoru deflects his slip-up. "How did your test go?"

"Aced it." She swallows. "I did everything right."

"That's... fantastic."

"Mm. Now Naru-chan wants to treat me with a discount at her mom's jewelry store. It's nice of her."

"Do you like jewelry?" Mamoru asks thoughtfully.

"I'm a crow at heart. Shiny things are the best." She gives him a solemn thumbs-up. "The only thing I love more than shiny objects is good food."

"I see." He nods, taking mental note of her words. "Um."

"What is it?"

"Do you... erm, well, what did you think of your dream?" Mamoru asks, scratching his cheek. "Did you... like it?"

Oh, for Christ's sake.

"I don't know." Usagi deflects. "It was just a dream."

"I-is that so?"

Usagi finds some salvation in spotting her house.

"This my house." She states, awkwardly pointing at it.

"It's a nice house," he offers.

"Thanks."

::

Last night was... awkward.

Usagi almost feels bad.

Almost.

I need to start working on damage control.

"Usagi? Hey, Usagi! Are you listening?"

"Hm?" She blinks. "Yeah?"

"Really." Naru crosses her arms. "What were we talking about?"

"Sailor V?" Usagi guesses.

Apparently, that's the wrong answer.

"That new girl, Ami, has an IQ of over a thousand!"

"It's actually three-hundred." Usagi corrects.

"So you were paying attention!" Naru exclaims.

Not really.

She just remembers watching the anime version of this reality.

"She seems nice." Usagi swallows, thinking.

There's a darkness in her thoughts as she glances over at the reincarnated Sailor Mercury. Of course, there's a curiosity - an instinct to interact. But Usagi clamps down on such instincts with an iron fist. It's obvious that fate wants her to engage with those connected to her former(?) life. Personally, she wants nothing to do with them. Mamoru was an unfortunate mistake. And Ami was... well, Usagi has nothing against Ami.

She just hates the idea of being a tool.

Maybe it's a mental illness.

Maybe she has oppositional defiant disorder on a fatal scale. 

Usagi hates being told what to do.

She wouldn't if she didn't know the plot of her own destiny. She wouldn't mind following the same path if she wasn't already aware of how lame and painful it would be. 

But she does know.

Usagi knows the suffering that awaits her.

They say ignorances is bliss. Usagi isn't sure she agrees, but she definitely understands the appeal of ignorance. It's so much easier to go along with the flow of fate without knowing the consequences. It's less anxiety inducing. Now, she has more things to worry about.

She knows the consequences of failure.

It's crippling, sometimes.

Usagi has trouble sleeping. Her mind is too busy thinking about all the ways to avoid the terrible future she knows is coming. If she were ignorant, she could sleep peacefully. If she were ignorant, she could have the confidence to live life without fear of a fate worse than death.

She isn't ignorant.

Sometimes, she wonders what life might be like if she couldn’t remember.