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“Lumine, Tartaglia is pouting again.”
The esteemed traveller from afar stands up from the ground and stretches, not before brushing the dust and dirt from her knees. Gardening is taxing in the Serenitea Pot - it didn’t matter if the produce itself manifested itself magically in forty-eight hours - she still had to plant these archon cursed seeds. And what was the deal with the limit to six plots? Surely, she deserved more land for harvesting. She was going to have a talk with Tubby as soon as she remembered to.
She put her hands on her hips. “You mean he’s not cooking you any of your favourite dishes, Paimon?”
It was the fairy’s turn to pout. “But that’s besides the point. Tartaglia won’t cook anything!”
“Ok, I’ll go talk to him.” For a Fatui harbinger, he sure found a lot of time to hang around the teapot. Didn’t he have, like, people to beat up or something? Deception that needed to be orchestrated? An office to sit in while he twiddled his thumbs evilly?
She found Childe still in the kitchen. He was sitting at the table with a feather and ink, probably deciding what to write in his penned letter to his family. “Hey, everything ok?”
He visibly brightened at the sound of her voice. “Well if it isn’t my favourite comrade!”
“I might be your only comrade,” she commented drily, approaching the table. “You’re making an enemy out of Paimon by not cooking for her.” Childe hummed, amused. “Well, don’t you have anything to say for yourself?”
He spun around in his chair - it didn’t have wheels so it scratched loudly across the floorboards - and crossed one leg over the over. “Let me join one of the spiral abyss teams and I’ll cook anything Paimon wants for the next two weeks.”
Lumine’s face fell. She sat down beside him, placing a hand on his arm gently. “Is this what this is about? We talked about this.”
He slipped his arm out from under her, looking offended. “Lumi, don’t say it like that - like this isn’t important to me.”
“You know I don’t think that. It’s just that there’s a geo meta going on right now… there isn’t really a spot for you right now on the team.”
“You know I’m your best fighter! It doesn’t matter what meta is going on.”
“It does,” said Lumine, trying to be patient. “And, you know, it might help you in the long run if you could try to be friendlier around the other people on the roster…”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about! I get along fine with the others.”
“Well, Xinyan likes working with you, obviously. But Zhongli is still kind of mad about how you tried to drown his city. And… Noelle said your eyes are weird.”
“I said I was sorry about that! And I can’t help how my eyes look. I had a traumatic experience when I was young. Can that maid’s healing do something about that, huh?”
“That’s not exactly very fair to Noelle. She focuses on physical healing and she’s a lovely person when you get to know her -”
“And it isn’t very fair for you to not put me on the spiral abyss teams!”
Lumine frowned. “That doesn’t even make sense. Fairness is when everyone gets a chance, Childe, not just you.”
He grabbed her hands. “Lumine, not everyone loves fighting as much as I do. Look into my eyes. Tell me there is someone out there who loves fighting more than me.”
His eyes were very blue and decidedly empty - while she didn’t agree, she could see why Noelle had mixed feelings about him. “Oh, Ajax.”
He pulled her closer to him. “Don’t say that. Say I’m on the team and that you’re not taking that grumpy red-head wine tycoon.”
“Master Diluc has a really big sword that helps with -”
“I have a really big sword!”
She blinked. “That’s…” Besides the point. “Why do you have to make everything weird?”
He stood up, heading towards the kitchen exit. “I’m leaving. You can tell Paimon she can starve for two weeks., I guess.”
“Oh come on! That’s so unfair. Childe! You are being such a brat.”
He turned around to point at her accusingly before gesturing to himself. “You know who has the bigger sword, Lumine. Just remember that.”
Lumine could feel her face reddening from embarrassment and frustration. “You’re just an angry Hydro twink that doesn’t crit when I need him to.” He audibly gasped. “You know it’s true.”
The air around Childe began to swirl, signalling his imminent departure from the teapot. All the while, he glared at her. That stupid Fatui Harbinger. He was so annoying. She returned the glare until he finally disappeared.
Paimon popped into the room, looking concerned. “Paimon doesn’t think it sounded like the negotiations went very well.”
Lumine sighed. “Don’t worry, Pai. I’ll cook for you.”
“Are you going to be ok, Lumi?”
She smiled at her travelling companion, grateful for her concern. “It’s fine. Childe’s just being… dumb.”
Paimon could see Lumine’s visible unhappiness and felt indignant towards the Harbinger. “Yeah, he is pretty dumb! And Paimon thinks Lumi’s cooking is ten thousand times better than his, anyway.” Lumine giggled at that. “Let’s get out of here! Amber came by to say that Bennett got lost in Dragonspine again; he went on a scouting mission and it’s been days since he was expected to return. Paimon personally thinks he’s trapped in a Fatui camp again.”
“Yeah, that sounds about right. You’re right. I need some fresh air, anyway. Let’s go save Bennett.”
Childe was surprised to see a familiar face in the Fatui campsite upon his return. It was that unlucky kid from the Adventurer’s Guild. He recognized him from their runs together in the spiral abyss. They hadn’t actually had a proper conversation. But Childe noticed how small rocks always seemed to be hitting his head from unknown sources and that he was a versatile fighter; he healed, tanked, and did damage. The kid certainly wasn’t the strongest but he was resilient and resourceful, two things Childe believed were instrumental to being a warrior.
The soldiers in the campsite abruptly stood when they saw Childe appear from his excursion to Lumine’s teapot. “Lord Harbinger!” They greeted him, saluting him smartly.
Childe nodded towards the Guild adventurer locked in a cage behind them. “What’s going on here?”
“Mr Fatui Guy!” yelled the unfortunate prisoner, waving frantically. “D-do you remember me? I’m Bennett. I’m friends with Ms Lumine!” Ah, yes, that was his name.
“We caught him roaming around the campsite, Master Childe,” said a Pyro gunslinger.
“...and then you locked him in a cage?”
“He could be a spy, Tartaglia, sir,” piped up a Geochanter, trying to be helpful. The others nodded in agreement.
Bennett looked like he had survived a terrible landslide; one where he had been thoroughly beaten by the elements without breaking any bones but weathered down enough that he looked like he was in desperate need to go home and have a hot meal.
“Yeah… I doubt that, guys. C’mon, give me the key.”
After freeing Bennett from his cage, he threw a wool quilt over him and invited him to sit by the fire. In the meantime, Childe got about to cooking him a hot meal. Bennett looked like he had regained the spring in his step after warming up and having a bowl of soup placed in his hands. “Wow, this is delicious! A little creepy looking…” Bennett poked at the bits of squid tentacle spilling over the brim of the bowl. “But delicious!”
“It’s a real treat to be served by Lord Tartaglia,” commented the Electro hammer vanguard sitting beside him, also enjoying his own bowl of soup.
The Pyro gunslinger hummed in agreement. “Usually, we survive up here on dried meat. N-not that we’re not grateful for that,” he added hastily, eyeing Childe nervously.
“Me too,” said Bennett, with wide eyes. “My friend Razor prepares it for me which is nice since everything I cook always seems to get burnt or explode… but sometimes all I really want is something hot and yummy.” The Fatui soldiers around him nodded sympathetically. “Maybe we should get together and cook something the next time we’re all on Dragonspine.”
“I’d like that,” commented the Electro hammer vanguard.
“Aren’t you going to eat too, Childe?” asked Bennett, gesturing to the pot of soup still bubbling above the campfire.
“I’m not really hungry, to be honest.” He was still upset after his conversation with Lumine. She had said some unkind things. Granted, he had also acted like a brat - if she would just let him fight in the spiral abyss then they wouldn’t have to fight… He had also been looking forward to cooking for her and Paimon this evening. At least the food wasn’t wasted in the end. Maybe he should eat, he needed to get his mind off of Lumine.
“Is this about Ms Lumine?” Bennett asked innocently.
Childe almost inhaled his soup, coughing horribly. The Geochanter gave him a few hearty whacks on the back. “Thanks… ahem, what? Where would you get that idea?”
Bennett shrugged. “Ms Lumine seemed really stressed when she was organising the roster for the spiral abyss last week. She said you wouldn’t be happy because this is the second fortnight in a row that you weren’t on the team.” He paused. “I feel like I shouldn’t have said that. Please don’t tell her I told you!”
Childe felt something akin to relief at the thought that Lumine had some misgivings about not recruiting him. “I just don’t understand why she wouldn’t put me on the team if she feels that way,” he blurted out.
Bennett shrugged helplessly. “Maybe Hydro wasn’t what was needed. I don’t know. I haven’t been recruited either because I wasn’t needed this time.”
“You weren’t needed? How is that possible? You’re literally the best support for the team.”
“You really think that about me?” Bennett was blushing, oddly touched by Childe’s words.
“I never lie, Bennett. I mean, sometimes I act like I support someone for personal gain… but I promise that isn’t the case this time.”
“Uh, wow, thanks… no one’s ever said that to me before.”
“Master Childe can be counted on to tell the truth,” said the Electro hammer vanguard comfortingly.
“Yeah, the other day he told me I smelled terrible and that I should bathe as soon as possible,” said the Pyro gunslinger, not noticing the dirty look Childe threw his way.
“Those are two important things,” said Bennett earnestly. “Honesty …and hygiene. Oh, but we were talking about you and Ms Lumine, Childe. Did you guys fight?” Reluctantly, Childe recounted the terse exchange he had shared with Lumine in the Serenitea Pot. “Ok, don’t get mad, but… I think you’re being too hard on Ms Lumine.”
“Me?!” said Childe, immediately getting angry.
“I said, don’t get mad,” squeaked Bennett. “Look, one of my dads used to be married and he always tells me most fights that happen in a relationship are actually not worth it.”
Childe was silent at that. This was something his own father explained to him once. “I get what you’re saying but you should know that me and the traveller - we’re, uh, it’s not like that between us.”
Bennett frowned. “Really? Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“...is this a secret relationship?”
“No!”
“It could still be in the courting stages,” said the Electro hammer vanguard to the Pyro gunslinger beside him. “Perhaps they are not official yet and so Master Childe must keep it on the down low.”
“I think so too,” the Geochanter added. “I totally saw them making out behind that rock a couple of days ago.”
“That was someone else.”
“You are dating another blonde woman who also happens to wear a white dress in frighteningly cold temperatures, sir?”
“They… were both someone else. I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Childe wished he could disappear. Lumine was always saying how blind his men seemed; she had watched for a good five minutes as a Hydrogunner snacked on a huge drumstick before he noticed her standing a metre or two away from him. Well, he knew one place he would not be kissing her anymore.
“Ok, so the relationship is undecided,” said Bennett. “But maybe you shouldn’t fight so much with her about this? A lot of this is out of her control. Ms Lumine always looks really unhappy after your fights too. And, now that I’m talking to you, you seem pretty sad too.”
“I’m not sad!” he protested.
“I think you are,” said Bennett, gently.
It was true he didn’t like their fights. It was a point of contention between them and it was completely instigated by him. He hadn’t realised how it hurt Lumine as much as it hurt him. “I just really want to fight, I guess… And when she doesn’t choose me, I wonder what I did wrong. If she doesn’t think I’m strong enough or something. I don’t mind that she’s stronger than me, but that stupid edgy guy with the claymore and fantastic hair -”
“Master Diluc does have fantastic hair,” said Bennett understandingly.
“I could definitely beat him, but he’s the one who gets to go into the abyss. Am I… not good enough for her? That can’t be it.” Childe knew it wasn’t true and yet it still hurt.
There was an overwhelming chorus of nos and assurances that he was super strong, much better than Master Diluc. “You need to stop doubting yourself and taking out your insecurities on the traveller.”
“Maybe the Ragnvindr guy has nice hair but you’re the one she is kissing behind that rock, sir.”
“I’m sure you’ll get to go into the abyss really soon, Childe. Me and you both!”
Childe was touched by the overwhelming support. He wondered if this is what it felt like to have a “breakthrough”? Perhaps it was just another challenge he needed to conquer.
“Bennett!” yelled a shrill squeaky voice in the distance. It was quite dark now. Childe had barely noticed after the insightful conversation he shared with Bennett and his recruits. He was very familiar with that voice, however, and noted it meant someone else was probably in close proximity.
Paimon appeared first, a small cluster of constellations following in her wake. And then, following closely behind, Lumine appeared, her sharp eyes scanning the area for their unlucky friend. A look of surprise and uncertainty flashed across her face when she spotted Childe and the others in the distance.
Childe stood up resolutely and rushed towards her. “Lumi,” he breathed, before cupping her face and kissing her deeply. She made a noise of surprise but didn’t pull away from him. He could hear Paimon vaguely in the background squawking at them. “I’m really sorry about everything. I know you don’t take me into the abyss not because you think I’m weak or not as good as that dumb Diluc guy. It’s not your fault the abyss keeps bringing in those rock wolves.”
Lumine laid her hands over his own. “I forgive you. I’m sorry too, that you haven’t been able to come. I miss fighting with you.”
Childe grinned. “We can still fight at the Golden House. I’ll give you more loot if you come. I’m really rich, you know.”
She snorted. “I know. Ok, we can do that. And I hope you know I don’t feel that way about Diluc.”
“I know. I’m the one you kiss behind that rock over there, not him. I just get so jealous.”
“You’re, um, the only one I kiss… you know that, right?”
He lifted her and spun her around, laughing. “Lumi, I love you.”
Her cheeks were turning pink. “You do? I-I love you too.”
He smiled and kissed her again. “Let’s go home. I’ll make dinner. Do you mind if Bennett and these guys come too?” He gestured to the Fatui recruits who waved at Lumine hesitantly.
She laughed, feeling confused but also warm and happy in Childe’s arms. “Yeah, sure, why not? I didn’t know you and Bennett were such good friends.”
“I’ve only talked to Bennett over the course of this afternoon, but if anything happened to him, I would kill myself and everyone else on this mountain,” he replied solemnly.
“I - uh, wow, I think you’re great too,” said Bennett. He was having a hard time knowing whether he should smile and whether this was a threat or a compliment. Perhaps both?
Lumine smirked when she saw Paimon roll her eyes; the fairy was used to Childe’s antics. She took Childe’s hand in hers, leading the group into the Serenitea Pot. She wondered what Bennett had said for her big scary Harbinger man to warm up to him.