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Chapter Text

Ike’s life was ALMOST perfect.  He had cool parents, an okay little sister (she was a baby so still boring), and so many kids and friends in the neighborhood!  They would be starting school soon too and he was excited about that because his mama always said he was gonna be smart.  There was just. One. Problem.

The next-door neighbor was MEAN.

She wasn’t even old, she was just cranky.  She yelled at everyone and at nothing - seriously he could hear her sometimes yelling in the house when she was by herself!!  She was ALWAYS yelling at Ike and his friends for dumb stuff like the time he kicked a ball and it landed on her lawn.  The more they talked the madder she got, and Ike would always stick up for his friends, so she REALLY REALLY hated him and Mia, but really she hated everyone.  His mama said that some people were just not nice, and he had to agree.  

But yeah, otherwise his life was almost perfect!

Everything changed right before kindergarten.

Ike was playing outside, like he did all day.  He had a lot of energy and he just couldn’t be inside all the time especially since he didn’t want his baby sister to bug him.  He felt bad but really she was BORING.  Ike was FIVE and she was THREE and she was boring.  Boyd said he had a little brother and he was also boring.  Boyd was kind of dumb though and anyway Ike’s sister was better than Rolf.  But Mia was on vacation with her family and everyone else was playing their video games and Ike liked video games too but he needed to ruuuuuuuun.

He was running around looking for a stick to be a cool sword, but there wasn’t any.  Daddy liked gardening when he wasn’t working at the shop and so he’d clean up the yard and that meant no sticks.  That was okay.  His dad was so cool so he didn’t mind.  The sad thing was that Daddy was home today but he was working in the garage making a swingset so he couldn’t play with Ike. 

But the stick thing was really okay because Ike had a SUPER SECRET. 

They had a fence because Ike liked to go on adventures.  Well, that dumb old fence had a loose post that he could get through just fine, ha ha! 

So he pushed and squeezed under, not caring his pants got muddy because he was always muddy.  He wasn’t expecting to see anyone because this side of the house was where Mean Lady lived and she was gone probably kicking kittens or something, so when he saw someone in the window he jumped.  A tiny person looked at him with shock before ducking out of sight.

Woah!  There was a kid!!  In the window!!!  He had NO IDEA there was a kid who lived with Mean Lady!!!!  He HAD to meet them and make friends!!!!!

The window was dirty so the kid was hard to see.  That was okay, Ike just went closer.  He ran through the yard to the back porch and peered in the window.  In the corner, in the dark, a body was hidden by a shelf but he could see the top of a head - really pale, big wide red eyes, and a cool birthmark.  Ike knocked on the back door while looking at the face, which looked back at him.

The face did not answer the door.

“Hi!” Ike said, hoping the other could hear him.  “My name is Isaac Bryce Greil but everyone calls me Ike!”

No answer.  The eyes blinked.

He squinted into the darkness.  It was a boy (yay, boys were way cooler than girls!) with long hair, and he was REALLY SMALL, so maybe he was younger than Ike.  That was okay, they could still be friends.  

More worryingly, the boy looked scared. Of him!  He wasn’t scary!

“You don’t have to be afraid,” he said, trying to tamp down his natural exuberance (Daddy said he sometimes got to be “too much”), “I just wanna be friends!  Oh!  Oh I know!”  He had a brilliant thought.  “Wait here!”  

He ran back to his house, super duper excited.  He was gonna make a new friend, and he knew just the way to do it.  He threw open the back door, greeted his dog (a big fluffy golden dog he’d named Aether which is the coolest name everrrrrrrr except for Sword Beam Prism Laser of Doom which had been his first choice), and went to the fridge.  There were three cupcakes still left over from his birthday party.  He could give up one for his new best friend, so he grabbed the closest one and spun to go back outside, under the fence, and up to the window.

The eyes were still there.  Ike grinned at him.  “I’m back!  Here, this is for you!”

He blinked, but the boy didn’t move.  Undaunted, Ike placed the cupcake on the window sill and took a step back.  Then, still keeping eye contact, sloooooooowly the boy opened up the window, and slooooowly reached a hand out to grab the cupcake, at which point he quickly dragged it back in and shut the window.  

Ike stayed there as the boy tentatively licked the cupcake before his face exploded in shock like he’d never eaten one before.  Then he inhaled the thing almost as fast as Ike did, paper and all, which was very silly.

“Why don’t you come play with me?” he asked.  “I have more cupcakes!”

The boy gasped, although Ike couldn’t hear it, and shook his head no.

“Why not?  We’re friends now!”

The boy looked deeper into the house, then back to him.

“Oh well your mama doesn’t have to know.  I’m good at keeping-”. Ike cut himself off when he saw the boy shake his head super hard.  “She’s not your mama?”  He nodded.  “Huh.  Well.  Mean Lady doesn’t have to know if we play, because I’m very good at keeping secrets!”  

The boy shook his head no again, then gasped as there was the sound of a door opening.  Uh oh, she was home from her busy day of being evil and annoying!  “I’ll see you tomorrow!” he said quickly, and then he bolted from the house back to his own.  

He took deep breaths as he pet his dog.  Safe at last!  He was good to go!  

So he thought about the boy.  It was funny how he had hidden and then pounced on the cupcake like a tiny crocodile.  They could definitely be best friends.  Ike just had to convince him to come out to play!  

So Ike went back the next day.

And the next.

And the next.

And the next.

His new quiet friend liked fruits and veggies and sweets the most, but he ate everything like he was starving, so Ike felt good about what he was doing even if it probably wasn’t good that he was stealing.  But he tried to just not eat as much and take his leftovers instead.  And every day Ike would tell him how he would be friends with all of Ike’s friends but be Ike’s bestest friend and how they would go on adventures once it wasn’t so scary.  

And he got to see more of the boy, too.  He had a whole body, but it was hard to tell what it looked like.  He didn’t talk, but every time he would smile and look so sad but HOPEFUL and Ike KNEW he was doing the right thing.

Until one day he ran back home and his mama was standing in front of the backdoor, arms crossed and looking amused.  “I see your daddy needs to fix the fence again.  Where were you this time?”

His mama was a super cool doctor so she wasn’t home a lot during the day, but Ike forgot it was her lunch time.  He considered lying, but she ALWAYS KNEW when he was lying.  As Aether began to lick his hands, he said, “There’s a boy in Mean Lady’s house and we’re best friends now!”

Mama actually gasped.  “A child lives with that horrible woman?  Are you sure?”

“He ate my cupcake and some of my fruits and stuff,” Ike said proudly.  “His favorite was the cupcake though.  He thought it was so good, he even ate the paper!”

Mama did not look proud at that even though she had made the cupcakes (although Ike had helped).  “That’s… that’s not good.  Hang on.”  She pulled out her cell phone and made a call.  Ike petted his dog while she did, because now he was worried.  “Darling, Ike found out the old shrew next door has a child his age, and it sounds like he’s not even being fed, let alone treated nicely.”  It was kind of silly because Daddy was home working in the garage, but calling was easier!  

He could hear Daddy’s voice through the phone, but he had to interrupt.  “He said Mean Lady’s not his mama,” he reported, which was a relief ‘cause it would be hard to be friends with someone who liked her.  

“That’s what I was thinking too,” Mama said to something Daddy had said.  “Yes yes I’ll record everything, good idea.  Okay, meet you out front.”  She turned the call off.  “Ike, this is very serious. Have you seen any booboos on him?  Has he told you anything sad or scary?”

“Nope, he’s too afraid to talk,” Ike said sadly.  That was the only sad part the boy next door being his best friend.  But some day he would be brave enough to come outside, Ike just had to be patient!!

“All right.  I’m going to go take care of this.  Normally I’d have you stay home with Daddy but if we have to take him I want him to see someone he knows.  Follow me.”

Ike was super nervous as he followed her out the front door.  Daddy was there.  “Mist is napping in her playpen, it looks like she can sleep through anything like Ike and me,” he said.   “Ike, are you positive you saw a child?”

Ike told him the cupcake and other food stories too, and Daddy scowled.  Ike followed his parents next door, and he could hear yelling from inside the house which ended when his mama rang the doorbell.  Mean Lady ignored it, so Mama yelled, “Ma’am I am a mandated reporter!”  Ike didn’t know what that meant, but it was serious because Mean Lady then opened the door.  

“What do you want?” she demanded, glaring at the three of them.  Then she looked at Ike and spat at him, so he glared super hard because he wasn’t rude enough to spit. 

“You have a child living in this house and I am obligated to see to his safety,” Mama said firmly.

The woman laughed with a broad smile.  “You want him?  Take him!”  She looked into the house.  “Boy, grab the folder and get your ass out here!”

“Call the cops,” Mama said to Daddy quietly.  Then she gasped, as did Daddy and even Ike, when the boy came out with a folder.  Ike had seen the boy was smaller than him, but with this closer look he was also dirty and so, so skinny.  He looked terrified, so Ike gave him a hug to protect him.  He smelled bad too, but Ike knew it wasn’t his fault.  

“Good riddance, one brat deserves another,” the lady said, moving to shut the door.  

Daddy stopped it with his foot.  “Ike, take him and go home,” he said calmly.  Ike knew that voice was the Serious Voice, so he tugged his best friend to walk home.

He was shaking.  Actually they both were.  “It’ll be okay,” Ike soothed.  “How about we take a bath and get you some of my clothes?”  He winced as yelling began behind him, but kept being a guide.  When Aether bounded up to them, the boy tried to hide in his arms.  “Oh this is my dog Aether, I’ve told you about him before, he’s very nice don’t worry!”  Without even being commanded, the big floofy thing sat and then laid down in front of them, gentle.  “See?  Good boy.  We’ll be right back!”

The boy did not stop shaking as they got to the bathroom.  Ike didn’t know how to make a shower or bath go so they would have to wait, but they could throw out his rags and put a robe on him.  “What’s your name?” he asked, finally realizing he didn’t know it.

The boy shuffled through the papers (there were only two though) and picked out one.  Ike had to use all his smarts to figure it out.  “S is ‘ssss’, O, rrrrrr… Soren?”  The boy - Soren nodded.  “I like that name!”  He blushed, which made Ike happy.

Mama walked in.  “You’re safe now, darling.  Let’s get you taken care of.”

It took a long time to get Soren clean, including special shampoo for his long hair because it had bugs in it (hearing about it made Mist scream but Ike didn’t mind bugs) and lots of scrubbing, plus some ointment for his booboos (the good kind that didn’t sting - Ike got a lot of booboos so he knew, and Soren didn’t have as many as Ike did, his were mostly from bugs).  Ike’s PJs were waaaaaay too big but it was okay because they were clean and had dragons on them which was cool.

So the paper had been his “birth certificate” and his parents were someone Mama said was bad, but not Mean Lady so he’d been honest.  His name was Soren Kurth Reale, which was almost as good a name as his was, and he was actually older than him ‘cause he turned five in January.  The only other paper in the folder was one saying that Mean Lady got paid a thousand dollars by someone a month to take care of him, which made Ike scoff because CLEARLY she wasn’t using the money right.  But the signatures were unreadable which meant they had no idea who was supposed to do anything.

Mean Lady actually got put in jail because she had been so mean, and Ike thought that was awesome.  

And Soren got to stay with him!  His parents did something called “foster” or something which meant Soren would be living with him until they found him a new home.  Ike didn’t want him to leave because having a best friend live in your house was just the COOLEST, and Soren would shake around everyone except Ike so Ike knew he was gonna be his protector forever.  And he couldn’t talk at all, so Ike also talked for him and to him, and stood up for him with his friends and played with him and they slept in the same bed so it was like a sleepover every night and he was super smart and could use magic and it was AWESOME. 

Plus there were all these people called “therapists” who came to the house to help Soren learn to talk and Ike was kind of miffed they weren’t here to see him but he got it that Soren needed them more.  Plus some of them taught Soren how to play, which Ike already knew how to do, so he got stickers for being a good example.

Anyway, now Ike’s life was ACTUALLY perfect.  

Chapter Text

Ike stared at the Calendar on the refrigerator and tried to decipher its strange, magical meanings. It represented time, right? And said that he was going to school in "one week," whatever that meant. There were boxes that he didn't understand, and words he could barely read, but "school" was one of them. 

He was not surprised to be joined by his new tiny shadow companion, Soren. While Mist would come try to play with him but do a lot of whining and complaining, Soren was quiet and content to just be in the same space. It was nice. He always looked a little confused or afraid though, which made Ike a little sad, but Mama had explained that the world was new and big and scary to Soren, which made sense why he would find it overwhelming.

"What are we looking at?" Soren asked him. He could talk now! He was quiet when he did it and spoke as if pondering every word. Considering two weeks ago he couldn't talk at all, it was pretty awesome! 

"The Calendar," Ike explained. "This is where Mama and Daddy look all the time as they figure stuff out. There are boxes and words and I don't get it, but I'm trying to figure it out."

Soren pointed before saying, "Seven boxes until the word starting with 's.'"

"S is school," Ike said, "So that means seven boxes until school."

"A box is probably a day," Soren reasoned. "So, seven days of play and seven nights of sleep before school."

Ike looked at him in shock. "That's not a lot! We still haven't done any adventures!"

"You always say that, but I still don't know what that means," Soren admitted.

"Adventures are fun stuff to do, like going places and doing cool stuff and being heroic," Ike explained. "Like, me breaking into your lawn was an adventure. Going to the park is an adventure. Helping around the house is an adventure."

Soren nodded his understanding. "Then why don't we ask your daddy what we can do?"

“Good idea!" Ike scurried off to find his daddy, who was upstairs building a bunk bed. Ike was excited to have a bunk bed because he could sleep up high and that was super cool, and help Soren turn the bottom bunk into a fort. He was sad though because a bunk bed meant they wouldn't get to share anymore and that was a bummer, because Soren was way better than any stuffed animal. "Hey Daddy, I wanna take Soren on an adventure! We only have seven days until school!"

Daddy considered it, putting down his hammer. "All right. I am going to try trusting you again." Probably not the best idea, but Ike wasn't gonna point that out. "Can you take the dog on a walk?"

Ike was excited. He sure could take the dog on a walk! "Yeah! The rules are to stay in the neighborhood and on the sidewalk and come home if we see anything bad and call you if we need to!" 

Daddy was giving him a very amused but distrusting look. "Come on, then. Soren, do you want to go with him?" Soren nodded. Daddy went downstairs and handed Ike the Emergency Phone, for use when he needed to call home. It was a great privilege and he felt honored. Daddy clipped the leash to Aether's collar. Aether was dancing so much his claws were making clicking sounds all over the floor and it was pretty cute. Then he started licking Soren and smacking Ike in the face with his tail, which was not quite as cute but was still kinda cute.

The three left the house for their adventure!! Aether was like a kite, flying back and forth to smell everything. Soren stayed pressed up against Ike, who held the leash tightly in one hand and Soren's hand in the other. He pointed out people's houses as he recognized them. He deliberately went the other way from Soren's old house because he didn't want to scare him. 

"What do we do if Aether tries to drag us away?" Soren asked with anxiety. "He's bigger than us!"

Ike giggled. "That won't happen. Aether is a good boy. He's training for you, remember?" Soren blushed. "Oh, look! That little path into the woods leads to the creek!" Ike was super excited because the creek was the coolest place ever. "Last time there was a beaver dam!"

Soren looked panicked. "We can't leave the sidewalk!"

"It's fine! It's an adventure!" Ike walked to the path, taking Aether and Soren with him. Soren's grip tightened so hard it almost hurt, and even Aether gave Ike a dirty look. Ike was undeterred. "Aether likes to swim in the creek, but we're not allowed in without an adult. And look!" They went down the path to the creek side, and Aether immediately jumped in. Ike excitedly pointed up the creek. "There's the beavers! They're making their house. That's what a dam is. It's not a bad word when beavers do it. Come on!" Ike put down the leash so Aether could swim and dragged Soren towards where he could see the sticks.

... Except Soren planted his feet and refused to move.

"No!" Soren said, "We're breaking the rules so much! We're off the path and you just let go of the leash! We can't go chasing beavers!"

"Sure we can," Ike said, patiently explaining the ways of the world. "Sometimes they hide, but sometimes you can see a baby beaver and they are the cutest things ever.”

Soren flailed a little.  “That wasn’t my point!”  Ike was confused.  “We’re breaking the rules and gonna get in trouble!”  Aether disrupted the rising tension by trotting out of the water and shaking hard, soaking Ike and making him laugh.  Soren did not laugh, he instead looked distressed as he grabbed the leash and turned back around, marching back up the path to the sidewalk.

“Hey!” Ike protested, following them.  “Come on, it’s okay!  You’ll feel a lot better when you see the beavers!  You like animals!”

Soren stood on the sidewalk, holding Aether’s leash and he was wringing his hands on it.  “We can’t go off the sidewalk, and now we can’t even go back to your home because we’re all wet and gross and your daddy is gonna know we were bad!  But now my shirt is all dirty and wet and gross, and the dog has mud on him, and weweresobadandwe’regonnagetintroublebecauseIcouldn’tstopyouandIdunnowhattodobutIwon’tletanyonehurtyoubutI’malsoreallyupsetandyoushouldhavelistenedtomebutyou’resocoolandbraveandthebeaversprobablyaresupercutebutwecan’tseethembecauseit’sagainsttherulesand-”

Ike grabbed Soren and pulled him into a big strong hug.  “I have no idea what you just said,” he admitted, “but I can tell you need a hug.”  Aether licked them both.  “I think we might not be ready for real adventures yet, and that’s okay.”  Just disappointing.  

Soren let go of the leash and grabbed onto Ike’s shirt tightly.  His heart was beating super-duper hard and he was breathing quickly.  

“But it would be kind of cool to do an adventure to get you prepared for adventures,” Ike suggested, thinking that was a great idea as per usual, “so like, that would be double the adventures!  We’re definitely going to be great heroes.”

Soren looked over his shoulder with a frown.  Ike followed his gaze and saw Aether sniffing around in some plants.  Then he trotted back over to them and looked at Soren expectantly.  Soren was confused but held his hand out, and Aether deposited a tiny brown and gray thing in his hand.  Ike and Soren both stared at it in shock, and Aether panted and wagged his tail happily.

“Ohmigosh,” Ike said in an excited whisper, “ Aether got us a baby bunny!!  This is even better than the beavers!"

It was, indeed, a baby bunny, nose twitching as it froze in Soren’s hand.  It was covered in dog spit but had no booboos or anything.  

“It’s so cute,” Soren breathed in a whisper.  “But what am I supposed to do with it?”

“Take it home!”  Ike gently guided Soren’s hands so he was cupping the bewildered bunny.  “Come on!  I bet Daddy will let us keep it!”  

They slowly walked back to Ike’s house, all three staring at the baby bunny who was probably questioning what life choices had led it to this point.  It was, however, super cute, and Ike was thinking of cool names already.  “How about, Super Cool Magic Sword Power of Awesomeness?” 

“Too long,” said Soren.

“Um, well, something to go with Aether then.  Um, Luna!  But wait, we don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl yet.”

“I don’t think bunnies care about gender norms.”

“Huh?”

It was at this point they got home, going inside.  Ike was prepared to argue his position about keeping Luna/Super Cool Magic Sword Power of Awesomeness with Daddy, buuuuuuuuut Mama was home for lunch.  He knew where this was going.  

Mama paused in her eating and Daddy paused doing dishes.  They looked at the three of them, wet and dirty with Soren carrying a wild baby bunny.  Mama sighed first.  “Ten minutes, Ike.  You were gone for less than ten minutes and you somehow managed to break most of the rules and drag poor Soren into it with you.  And what’s that in your hands?”

“It’s a bunny,” Ike squealed in a whisper (which was hard to do).  “Aether brought it to Soren to make him happy!  We could keep it as a pet!”

“It’s too cute,” Daddy said under his breath, looking away from them.  “They’re all too damn cute, Elena!”

“Is it alive?” Mama asked worriedly, coming over.  Soren held it up.  It was still frozen in his hands, but Ike could see its whiskers still moving.  “Oh Goddess, that is in fact a real baby bunny.  Okay.  Um, Daddy, you go with Soren, walk it back where we think Aether found it.  I’ll take care of Ike.” Daddy took Soren by the shoulder and guided him back out the front door.

“Aw man.”  Ike pouted and considered having a tantrum.  Unfortunately, those were ineffective against Mama, so he just sighed instead.  “I wanted to keep the bunny.”

“And I want a son who listens,” she said wryly, so he pouted at her.  

“Am I grounded?”

“You are so grounded.  Go get changed.”

That night, Ike climbed up into his new top bunk with excitement, the only joy in his life now that his toys and tablet were gone.  He was kind of touched that Soren, who was not grounded, chose to join him in his prison sentence.  Soren was sitting at his desk, and Ike could see he was drawing a picture of himself, Ike, Aether, and Luna.  It made Ike beam with happiness.  Clearly this had been a great adventure!  They were gonna have so many more!  And someday maybe Ike could get Soren a bunny he could actually keep!!!

Chapter Text

Miss Titania had been Ike’s babysitter and was now his kindergarten teacher, so he felt super special as he sauntered into the classroom.  They were here, the big time.  Kindergarten.

He knew almost everyone.  There was Boyd and Mia and Elincia and Lucia and Geoffrey and… well lots of people.  They were all his friends first but now Soren was their friend too.  But Soren was his BEST friend and he was Soren’s best friend too.  And then there was Ike and Soren duh, and then two kids that Ike didn't know.  So it was a good class, mostly. 

Ike was holding his hand - or really Soren was holding Ike’s hand in both of his.  Ike smiled at him to make him feel better, and Soren’s smile was so cute.  

Soren was wearing glasses now and had a cool bookbag with jungle animals on it and he could talk, not as good as Ike or anything but better than he could, and Mama had bought Soren a set of colored pencils that Ike was deeply jealous of.  It made his own crayons seem lame.  Buuuuuuuuuut Soren needed cool stuff too.  

Ike found his desk with his name on it, and pulled the tag off to go put it by Soren’s desk.  There was a name he didn’t recognize - Lyre - but hey now she was moving so it was okay.  “There!”  

“Why do you always hold hands?” Elincia asked him, frowning a little.

“‘Cause he’s my best friend and I gotta keep him safe,” Ike explained even though he had explained it to her before.  The issue was that Elincia wanted to hold hands with him and was mad.  She had unfriended him a million times about it, but apparently that was something girls did.  

Well not all girls, because Mia tackle-hugged him and she’d never said they weren’t friends anymore.  “I’m so happy to see you!” she squealed.  Ike caught her before she could glomp Soren too.  “Oh right, gentle!”  She reached out and gently pet Soren’s head.  

He sighed.  “I’m not a dog,” he said in a tiny voice.

“Nope!  But you’re cute like one!  And I like dogs!  I want a dog but my dad said no because only boys have dogs?  My dad is dumb.  But I like Aether, he’s the coolest dog!”

Ike nodded because Aether was the coolest dog.  Some of the people who came to work with Soren also trained Aether better so he was now a therapy dog, he had a vest and everything, and if Soren was ever not with Ike he was with Aether.  It made Ike super happy because Soren had been afraid of his dog at first but now they were friends, as it should be.

Miss Titania called for everyone to sit on the carpet in a circle so they could meet each other.  Ike sat between Soren and Mia and he raised his hand to go first and he got called on which was awesome.

“Hi my name is Isaac Bryce Greil but everyone calls me Ike!  I live with my mama and daddy and little sister Mist and best friend Soren and dog Aether.  I like swords and adventures and I’m gonna be a hero when I grow up like my daddy.  My favorite color is blue and red and I like Mario games and Roblox and Pokémon.  My favorite Pokémon is… um… aw man I don’t have a favorite, I like all of them!”

This was acceptable, so Miss Titania smiled at him then looked at Soren.  “Go ahead, sweetie, you’re next.”  She was gentle because she knew Soren was scared easy, but it didn’t matter because Soren was too scared to talk.

So Ike squeezed his shaking hands and said, “And this is my best friend Soren and he lives with me because he used to live with Mean Lady who is in jail now!  He’s super smart and can use magic super good, and he really likes wind magic!  He also likes drawing and animals and he has the coolest colored pencil collection EVER, I mean it’s got metallics too!  His favorite animals is a jaguar and that’s really cool so he has them on his jungle bookbag.  He also likes manatees because they’re silly.  And I dunno what he wants to be when he grows up ‘cause he doesn’t know yet but that’s okay because he’s only five like me.  Oh and his favorite colors are blue and green.  He doesn’t like too many video games but he does like Pokémon and his favorite is HYDREIGON which is super cool.”

“I bet my magic is better than his,” said Calill who was bossy and braggy.  “I use fire.”

Soren sighed and shook his head no, because Calill did this a lot.  He was too nervous to prove her wrong but he was also adamant she was wrong.  Calill huffed, and then pouted when Miss Titania reminded her to not call out. 

So yeah then everyone went around and Ike tried really hard to pay attention so he knew all the stuff about his friends.  Boyd and Mia were Ike's secondary best friends.  Boyd lived with his daddy, older brother, and younger brother.  Oscar was really cool because he was in middle school so he was very smart and liked to cook.  Rolf was a baby and was boring.  Boyd was fun but he would get mad at his dad a lot which made Ike feel bad because he never got mad at his dad.  Mia was just a hyperactive ball of happiness but she was way too competitive and it was tiring.  Her dad was a jerk who wanted her to be very ladylike which she did not like.  But he loved them both!  They were just secondary best friends.

Elincia, Geoffrey and Lucia were always together.  Apparently Elincia was rich and the twins' parents worked for her parents or something.  Anyway Elincia was very nice except for when she got jealous, which happened a lot because she apparently like-liked him and Geoffrey, which Ike didn't get.    Also they had the coolest video games and Geoffrey was really good at making stuff on Minecraft and Lucia loved Roblox so they could bond over that.  But since none of them were as hyper as Ike they were just friends instead of best friends.

Calill liked to brag a lot because she could use magic, so she hated Soren because Soren was way better at magic than she was - or at least he said, and Ike believed him.  Still because Soren didn't brag Calill would brag all the time.  She also always had new clothes that she said cost a lot of money but Ike didn't care.  But she was nice too really, just kind of annoying.  Nephenee was almost as quiet as Soren was but she was very sweet and liked to help people and she had a bunch of animals at home because she lived on a farm so that was cool.  Ike knew her the least of his friends because she didn't live in the neighborhood but instead would come visit. 

Then the two kids he didn’t know were Lethe and Lyre and they were twins too and had kitty ears which was super cool.  

After that they were told to go to their desks to look at their new workbooks.  Ike’s desk was with Soren’s now, and Lucia and Geoffrey, and Lethe.   He was okay with this being his group although Geoffrey was kinda boring and he didn’t know Lethe so it could’ve been better.  But he would get over it ‘cause this was his group and he was gonna be the leader and everything was gonna be great.

It was the best time of the day - lunch!  Considering Ike was so hungry he might die, it was just in time!  Daddy packed lunches for him and Soren, but Ike also had money to buy a lunch too.  His parents knew him well!  

The group went into the big room called a “cafeteria.”  It was LOUD because EVERYONE ate there - it was filled with people of all ages!  So many people he could be friends with!  

His class went to their table and Ike put his lunchbox in his spot by Soren before he ran to get in line for buying.  Then a teacher made him go back and walk, oops.  But he got his food and came back to his seat.  His class was all talking to each other, but Soren was sitting with his ears covered.  Huh.  

Ike sat and tapped Soren’s hand.  “It’s not that loud,” he soothed, “and you gotta eat.”  It was very important Soren eat!  He still didn’t a lot, but then Ike would find food hidden in their room.  Mama said they had to be patient.  But Soren’s hands were shaking, and Ike scowled.  He started to eat while keeping an eye on his best friend because something was wrong but Ike wasn’t sure what.  Sometimes Soren did this shaking thing and he breathed really fast and then he might hide but usually it was because Mama chastised someone (not Soren, she never chastised Soren).  No one here was in trouble.  So it was weird.  Plus no one else seemed to notice anything wrong.   

Until Soren stood up and ran from the table, out into the hallway.  Then it became obvious something was wrong!  Ike chased him out, mid-sandwich.     

Ike looked for him doggedly.  He didn’t want his poor friend to be all by himself!  But he’d hidden away somewhere.   

“Hey, no leaving the cafeteria!” said a teacher who was following him. 

“I gotta find Soren, he’s sick and hiding,” Ike argued.  He got lucky – a nearby classroom was open, and he saw Soren in the corner.  “There you are!”  He ran in and sat next to him, pulling him into a hug.  He had made himself as small as possible, and his whole body was shaking and he was breathing fast.  “What’s wrong?” 

Soren didn’t answer, clinging to him.  Ike frowned and petted his hair.  The teacher came in and frowned too.  “I’ll get the nurse,” she said, leaving.   

Minutes later a nice man with orange hair walked in and knelt by them.  “This is Soren?” he asked in a whisper, and Ike nodded.  “All right.  It seems like he’s having a panic attack.  Just keep hugging him.  What happened?” 

“I think it was too loud,” Ike whispered.  “He was coverin’ his ears.” 

“I see.  Soren, right now you are very safe,” the nurse said a little louder but still quietly.  “You are at school.  You are in an empty classroom.  No one is going to hurt you.  It is quiet and calm here.” 

“An’ I’m huggin’ you,” Ike added since they were stating the obvious. 

Finally Soren looked up.  He was still shaking but he was getting his breath under control.  “It was too loud,” he whispered.  “Sorry.” 

“Don’t be sorry, it is very loud,” the nurse agreed.  “Do you think you can come with me to my office?  It’s nice and quiet.  You can eat lunch there.” 

Soren nodded and stood.  He was shaky so Ike stood too.  “I’ll go grab our lunches!” He exclaimed, then ran to go get them and come back.  It was hard carrying three lunches but he did it.  When he came back, Soren and the nurse were walking together. 

“Thank you, Ike,” said Soren softly.  “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay!”  Ike was kinda sad he wouldn’t get to eat with anyone else, but it was worth it and he was okay.   

Daddy picked up Ike and Soren after school so they wouldn’t have to ride the bus. Mist was asleep in her car seat.  

Ike’s daddy was just the coolest - Ike had no idea where he worked but he could fix anything and make anything with wood or metal or… yeah it was so cool, he could do anything!!  Plus he could use a sword and it was SO COOL and Ike wanted to be a hero like him when he grew up!!  “How was the first day, boys?” he asked, looking at the two in the rearview mirror.

“It was GREAT!” Ike exclaimed.  Soren nodded his agreement.  They’d both decided to not talk about lunch.  “We only don’t know two new friends and they have kitty ears and Lethe is mean but Lyre isn’t as mean.”

“They weren’t mean to me,” Soren offered.  “They just ignored me.  Lethe hissed at Ike.  It was silly.”

“If they have kitty ears, that means they’re ‘laguz’,” Daddy explained as he started to drive.  “I bet they are both very nervous because beorc like us and laguz can get very mean to each other and it sounds like they’re the only two in your class.”

“Oh.”  Ike frowned.  “That’s… that’s bad.  They’re just kids with kitty ears.”

“Very true,” said Daddy proudly, and Ike was so happy.  “Just be patient, is all, and don’t treat them differently.”  After a few long minutes, he pulled into the garage.  “To the table for snacks.”

Ike raced in, carrying his and Soren’s bookbags right to the table and started to eat the cookies on it.  Soren giggled and followed, taking one.  Ike gave him another too.  Daddy came in with Mist and then looked at their bookbags and smiled at the papers that said they’d been good.  “Also we got presents for both of you for a good first day.”  

Ike was almost exploding in joy.  “Presents?!?”

Daddy put Mist into her playpen before coming back with two wrapped bundles. Ike ripped his open and Soren picked his open.  Ike got

he got

HE GOT

A WOODEN SWORD!!!!!!!! 

“THIS IS THE COOLEST PRESENT EVER!” he yelled, jumping up and down.  Then he stopped because Soren had gotten his open, and it was a pack of sparkly glittery markers and, “SO IS YOURS, YOURS IS THE COOLEST PRESENT EVER TOO please share with me sometime!!”

Soren giggled and nodded.  “Thank you, Mr. Greil.”

“Of course, Soren.  Thank you for being so sweet.”  Soren blushed so hard his whole face turned red.  He still wasn’t sure what to do when people said nice things about him.  “And Ike, you know if you’re unsafe your mama will take that sword.”

“Yep, I’ll be super good with it, I promise!”  Ike tried to look serious so Daddy knew he meant it, because he meant it big time.  Daddy ruffled his hair, and Ike was pretty sure today was the best day ever.

Chapter Text

Softlytired on Tumblr drew this for me and you guys this made my whole week ISN'T IT CUTE?!?  I learned to embed images just to share this!!!!

Chapter Text

After the problems with the loud room, they ate lunch in the classroom.  Ike didn’t mind.  They all sat around a table.  Ike got to sit between Boyd and Soren, and he made sure the person on the other side of Soren was someone quieter so Nephenee was there and that was okay.   Miss Titania sat back so the kids could talk freely.   

“So what are everyone’s favorite animals?” Ike asked around his baloney sandwich.  “I like rhinos and elephants.  Soren likes jaguars and manatees.” 

“Stop answerin’ for him,” Boyd said, which caught Ike off guard.  “He can talk now and he has a nice voice.” 

“Oh… right.”  Ike looked at Soren.  “Sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” he said with a giggle.  “But I like jaguars and manatees.  Manatees swim by farting.”  He giggled more, and immediately the entire table cracked up because farting is hilarious (although that was something Ike had to teach Soren).

“I’ve never heard of a manatee!” Lyre exclaimed, in awe.  Lethe looked surprised by her sister’s comment for some reason.  “They swim by farting?  That’s so funny!  Are they real?” 

Soren scurried to grab his sketch book, and he flipped to show them all a very good picture of what Ike liked to call a floaty potato.  “This is what they look like.  Aren’t they cute?” 

The class was appropriately awed.  Even Miss Titania in the corner was impressed. They started to ask lots of questions (“Don’t they get eaten by alligators?” “Nope, they’re friends with alligators!” “Woah!”) and Ike could have cried he was so happy.  Soren had been his best friend for two months, and he had come so far and it was awesome.   

Ike did see that Lethe was the only one who wasn’t paying attention, instead she was focusing on her food.  Man, she was really into ignoring Soren.  Or she was hungry.    He could appreciate that last one.

Coming back to school the next morning was super surprising, because the entire classroom had been decorated with a water theme.  Lots of blue and sea animals all over the walls, it was so cool!  Whales and dolphins and manatees and sharks and octopuses and…. 

Miss Titania explained once everyone was sitting for calendar.  “So I didn’t want to pick a theme without knowing what everyone liked!” she said with happiness.  “Everyone in the class likes animals in the water.  If I missed your favorite animal, let me know.”  Ike looked around.  He didn’t really have a favorite water animal but manatees were cute and orcas were cool so he was okay.

Calill was a fast learner and she raised her hand and was called on before she called out.  “Jellyfish please!” 

“Of course!  I’ll add them too.  And guess what, everyone?  As a class we’re going to sponsor a manatee.”  Everyone was very excited even though Ike was pretty sure no one knew what that meant (he sure didn’t!).  She explained her new good listener chart, where kids would “clip up” on a chart if they were good, and “clip down” when they were bad.  And whenever everyone in the class was “great” or “awesome,” they would get to  give more money to their manatee. 

And that was the coolest part!  They were adopting a manatee!  Sure their manatee wasn’t going to live with them or anything, but they would get to see videos and other cool stuff!! 

“And Soren, you gave me the idea, so you get to name our manatee,” said Miss Titania happily.  “It’s a girl.” 

Everyone gasped and looked at Soren, in awe of his amazing privilege.  Soren was shocked into silence.   

“You don’t need to decide now,” she continued, “and –“ 

“Bubbles,” said Soren with solemnity. “No, wait - Queen Bubbles.”

It wasn’t as cool as Sword Beam Prism Laser of Doom, but it was still pretty cool and it was almost unanimously accepted (Elincia pointed out that as a baby she would be Princess Bubbles first, which Soren agreed was a good point).  To celebrate, Miss Titania also showed the class she had bought a giant plush manatee to represent their new class pet.   Ike was shocked that they made stuffed animals that big!  Ike resolved that he was gonna act his super best so that Princess Bubbles would get all the help she could ever need.

The playground here was awesome!  It was big and had cool slides and climbing stuff and lots of cool swings.  But Ike’s favorite thing was playing tag in the field with all of his friends.  He had so much energy he could run the whole time.  And everyone played tag except for Soren and Calill.  Soren liked to swing and watch the others play (his therapists said that was a good idea for him to do, to see how other kids did it), and Calill liked to sit on the swings too and have Miss Titania or another adult push her.   

Everyone else played tag!  Ike was super good at playing.  The only one who sprinted as good as him was Mia, so he was never “it” very often.  That was fine, he had more fun running around like crazy to stay away from everyone else.   

Today the game ended early because Lethe was it and she didn’t just tag Lucia, she pushed her down and she fell and landed on her arm.  Lucia started crying and Lethe had to sit out for the rest of recess, and an adult took Lucia to the nurse.  And when going to sit on the bench, Lethe purposely hit Soren on the back of the head to send his glasses flying.  Ike realized something terrible: she was a BULLY.  That wasn’t okay with him.  Bullies were awful.  He would have to do something about it. 

But now the game was over but recess wasn’t.  Ike wasn’t sure what to do.  Then he spotted a bunch of wild flowers nearby, in pretty purples and yellows, and he thought about it.  He sister liked to pick flowers, but he didn’t so much.  But people gave flowers to people they liked, right?  And he liked Soren.  So he looked for the best flowers and made a little bunch of them and then ran to Soren on the swings.  He’d gotten down to get his glasses and was giving Lethe a dirty look.   

“Here!” Ike said to Soren, holding out his makeshift bouquet.  

Soren was visibly surprised.  “Oh, for me?  Thank you?”  He took them.  He was used to getting flowers because Mist loved to give them to everyone, but Ike had never done it before and Soren was confused. 

“It’s ‘cause I like you,” he explained. 

“OH.”  He blushed heavily.  “Me?” 

“Yep!  You give flowers to people you like and I like you so I got you flowers.” 

“Thank you,” he whispered, smiling and looking away.  

Ike took his glasses and cleaned off the dirt before putting them back on him.  “There you go!  I’mma go tell Lethe to not be a bully!”  He ran off to the bench.  “Hey Lethe, you gotta not be a bully.” 

“I’m not a bully,” she said shortly, scowling.  Lyre was sitting next to her sister in solidarity although she looked nervous. 

“Yes you are, you’re pushin’ people and bein’ mean.  So you gotta stop ‘cause you won’t get any friends that way,” he counseled.  “Also we’ll have to fight if you keep bein’ a bully.” 

She huffed and looked away.  Ike figured the point had gotten through though.  He looked around and saw Mia and Boyd on the slides and so he ran to them to play some more. 

“Ike and Soren sittin’ in a tree,” Boyd sang.  

“K I S S I N G!” Mia crooned. 

Ike was caught off guard but then he said, “Huh?  I mean we’re not cuz Soren’s afraid of climbin’ trees.” 

“But you liiiiiiiike him,” said Boyd with a smirk.  “Gettin’ him flowers.” 

“Is he your giiiiiiirlfriend?” Mia sing-sang. 

“Huh?  He’s a boy.” 

“But boys can’t have boyfriends,” Mia said.  Then she thought about it.  “I think.” 

“No, they can,” Boyd said.  “Oscar has a boyfriend and my dad hasn’t talked to him in a week.” 

“Oh no,” Ike said, worried.  Oscar was super cool and his favorite of his friends’ family.   

“Man Boyd no wonder our dads are friends, they’re both jerks,” Mia observed.  This made Boyd laugh and Ike feel awkward because Ike’s dad was not a jerk.  He instead encouraged them both to play again so he didn’t have to think about it. 

On the ride home, Ike asked the question.  “Can boys have boyfriends?” 

“Ewwwww,” said Mist, “Boys are gross.”  Ike playfully pushed her and Soren giggled.   

“Yes they can,” Daddy explained as he drove.  “Why?” 

“Well I got Soren flowers and so Boyd said he was my boyfriend but also said that his daddy isn’t talking to his brother because his brother has a boyfriend,” Ike explained.  Soren gasped. 

Daddy was quiet for a few minutes.  “Okay.  So, just because you got Soren flowers does not mean he’s your boyfriend.  You’re both too young for that kind of stuff.” 

“Oh.” 

“And it sounds like Boyd’s daddy is closed-minded.  There’s nothing wrong when boys like other boys.  It just doesn’t happen as often as boys liking girls, that’s all.  But some people think that’s bad, and they’re the bad ones.” 

“So Boyd’s daddy really is a jerk like Boyd said,” Ike mused. 

“I’m not saying anything,” Daddy said with a sideways grin.   

“And do you wanna be my boyfriend?” Ike asked Soren.  “Then we can get married.”

Soren was entirely red.  

“No, you’re both too young,” Daddy said again.  “You’re only five!” 

“Five is plenty old enough,” said Ike. 

“No,” Daddy said with a shaky laugh.   

“You can say no if you wanna but you’re a boy and a friend and I love you so you should be my boyfriend,” Ike said to Soren.   

“Ike, NO,” Daddy said more firmly from the front seat.   

Ike sighed but went quiet.  This stuff was confusing.  Soren looked out the window and blushed.  

Things fell into a pattern, and Ike was happy.  Everyone was helpful and did their work so the clip chart almost always said all of them were great or better.   Soren was getting braver every day.  Ike was getting to know Geoffrey and Lucia a little better too.  And Lethe was angry.  Ike wasn’t sure at what, though.  She always pouted and scowled and Ike was really worried that they weren’t going to ever be friends at this rate which was NOT GOOD considering he was friends with everyone else, even Lyre who wasn’t as mean.  When it came to learning Ike wasn’t sure if he was dumb or Soren was just a genius, but that was okay too.  He’d just try his best.

But other than that, things were great!  

Every once in awhile something would happen that reminded Ike that Soren wasn’t like other kids.  

“What do you mean, what’s Halloween?”   He hung his head over the side of the top bunk so he could look at Soren with all the shock in the world.  “How do you not know what Halloween is?!  It’s one of the best holidays ever!”

Soren was in the bottom bunk curled up, ready for bed.   “Ma’am didn’t let me go outside.”

“Oh right, sorry.”  Ike didn’t hate anyone except for Mean Lady.  He hoped she stayed in jail forever and ever.  “So we get in costumes, go around the neighborhood and ask people for candy!”

“… And that’s a holiday?” 

“Yep!”

Soren was very confused and it made Ike giggle.  “People are weird.”

“Yep!  So like I was sayin’ we gotta come up with costumes to go together!  I was thinkin’ we should be superheroes!”

“Huh?”

“ Whaaaaaaat!” Ike swung out of the bunkbed (he never used the ladder) and landed on the floor.  “C’mon!  We need to have a marathon!”

“It’s bedtime,” Soren said with judgment.  

“C’mon, it’ll be fine!”

“It’s time for bed,” Soren said more firmly.

Ike siiiiiighed.  Soren was the most stubborn person ever and Ike knew it.  There was no victory here.  “Fiiiine.  But this weekend we’re gonna marathon!”

“We have three weeks until Halloween, calm down.”  Soren giggled even as Ike climbed back into bed.  

“We’re gonna blow your mind,” Ike assured him, excited. 

The class had their Halloween party on Halloween, which was so cool.  It was a Friday, which was even cooler.  

Ike and Soren had debated a lot about who they were going to be for Halloween, but decided on Captain America and Iron Man (although neither wore the masks) which was awesome .  They were almost Thor and Loki except they were brothers (but not really) and Ike and Soren weren’t brothers at all.  Ike had even gotten to take in his cool shield although it wasn’t allowed to leave the classroom which was lame.  Mist was Thanos (which Ike thought was hilarious although Mist was not happy he laughed at her) although she didn’t come to school, she was just going to go around the neighborhood with them later that night.   

Boyd was a lumberjack, which was very silly, although he looked pretty good and had a fake beard and everything.  Mia was a fencer although her sword was made of paper because she’d had to make it herself.  Elincia was Rapunzel and Geoffrey was Flynn, and Lucia was a horse which was hilarious and made Ike laugh for like ten minutes because it was so funny.  Nephenee was a cow which was also funny but not as funny because she was being a cow because she lived on a farm and not because she was part of the Tangled theme.  Calill was a librarian and she looked almost exactly like it except she was in kindergarten so she didn’t look like an adult yet and was way too short.  Lethe and Lyre were dressed as wolves which was hilarious too and everyone laughed, and even they were trying to not laugh and it made Ike like Lethe a little bit because any kitty who would dress up as a doggie had to be okay. 

But of course Ike and Soren had the best costumes!  

Soren was afraid to go out.   

Ike, Soren and Mist were in their costumes and ready to go.  Ike had laughed at Misthanos and she had hit him, but because she was a baby she was still allowed to go although she’d had to apologize.  But Soren was frozen inside.  “It’s after dark,” he said, eyes wide.  “And it’s chilly.  We shouldn’t go out.” 

“It’s Halloween,” Ike pointed out.  “We gotta go out to get our candy.” 

“It’s – you don’t know what’s out there,” Soren argued.  “There’s monsters in the dark.” 

“There’s no monsters except kids in costumes.” 

“You don’t know that!” 

“I do know that.  I like to play after dark and never once got eaten.”  In fact, Ike realized that he had never once seen Soren play outside after dark!  He always went in at sunset.  That was pretty silly.   

Daddy and Mama looked at each other.  “Would you feel safer if both of us went?” Mama asked Soren, gentle.  Ike was surprised because usually one of them stayed home to hand out candy (which Ike thought was a waste because he would eat that candy!).  

“Ummmm…”   

Soren looked embarrassed, so Ike stepped in.  “Yeah!  Let’s all go!  And Aether too!”  The dog perked up at hearing his name.  “And Soren you know I’ll always keep you safe too!  C’mon!”  He took Soren’s hand and smiled at him.  Soren was still shaking, but he smiled back.   

When he took one step out of the house, Ike thought it was way better than any candy.   

Ike showed Mist and Soren the ropes on how to trick-or-treat.  It took an hour for him to stop laughing at seeing his newly-four-year-old sister dressed up as the big bad of Marvel.  They saw the parents of all of his friends – Elincia’s daddy gave out a TON of candy – and a bunch of people he didn’t know.   

The only weird thing was an old man who was very interested in Soren’s forehead.  “Fascinating!  A spirit charmer, and so young!” 

Soren said nothing, eyes wide as he held out his trick or treat bag.

The man reached out and touched Soren’s forehead.  “The spirits have chosen you, it seems!  Wonderful, wonderful!  Where are your parents?”

Ike scowled but he was too slow, Mama and Daddy stepped up, Mama pulling Soren back and Daddy moving between him and the old man.  “That’s none of your business, sir.  Have a happy Halloween.  Come on, Ike, Mist.”  It was the Serious Voice again so Ike and Mist followed with no argument, not that Ike would have argued because the man had touched Soren.  He didn’t want this guy’s stupid candy anyway. 

When they were back on the street, Soren smiled at all of them and petted Aether (who was not in a costume, but was wearing his cool vest).  “It’s okay!  Now I know what my face means!” 

“It’s a birthmark, and they happen all the time,” Mama corrected.  “He shouldn’t have touched you at all, no matter how excited he was.” 

“I was gonna beat him up for you,” Ike offered.  This made Soren giggle and hug him, candy bag and all.  

“It’s 7:45, so it’s time for heroes to walk home,” Daddy said, ruffling Ike’s hair.   

Ike gasped.   “I’ll be the hero and lead the way!” He announced, and began the march back home, the weird old man forgotten. 

Chapter Text

Oh circle time.  Ike liked circle time, but it wasn’t his favorite part of the day.  He did like hearing about the cool stuff his friends did, and he really liked to tell everyone about his and Soren’s adventures, but it got annoying too.

But this was a special day, as Miss Titania explained after Ike finished regaling the class with how Ike, Soren and Aether had helped a lost dog get home the night before.   After everyone congratulated them, Miss Titania said, “Today we’re starting specials!  You’ll go to different classes with different teachers to do cool stuff.”  Ike liked cool stuff, so that was good.  “Each day is a different special.  You’ll either go to gym, art, music, or STEM.  STEM is all about science and technology.”  Okay she was right, that WAS cool.  Especially gym!  “Our special time is right after circle, so we’ll be lining up soon for our first gym class.  But first, does anyone know what the day is today?”  And so they went on to discuss the weather and the day of the week and all that other stuff.  It was annoying because every single day they sang about the days of the week, the months of the year and the seasons, but he STILL didn’t remember what day it was or what month it was.   

Anyway, then they went to the gym in a quiet line, and Ike was vibrating in excitement.  He knew what gym was.  It was running around and playing sports and doing cool stuff.  The teacher was a smug-looking older man with an air of self-importance that Ike hated on sight.  Miss Titania told them all to be good listeners and left them.   

“Greetings, children,” said the man, “I am Mr. Numida, but you will all call me SIR. Let’s see… eleven of you?  No even teams, then.  Very well.  I have a machine that will do the thing.”  He walked over to a strange machine with a big hole in the front.  “You will be playing dodgeball.  This machine will throw balls at you and you will dodge them.” 

That… didn’t sound fun at all. 

“Why do you have a Hitler mustache?” Soren asked, so dumbfounded that he didn’t even raise his hand.  Ike was a bit confused by that.  Mr. Numida ignored the question and turned on his machine, which began to chuck volleyballs at the kindergarteners.  They all started running around and screaming as Mr. Numida took a handle to move the path and change where the shots were coming from.  Calill got hit by a ball and fell over.   

It, uh, wasn’t fun at all, actually.   

And that was gym. 

The next day they didn’t have gym, they had art.   

“Ah yes, welcome, welcome!” said the huge man who was standing at the front of the class.  “Have a seat as we learn about the gloriousness of art!  The beauty of the human form!  I am Mr. Oliver and I am deeply excited to share this amazing journey with the unwashed masses!” 

There was silence, but Boyd raised his hand. 

“Yes, young child with the emerald hair!” 

“Uh, you mean me?” he asked 

“Yes!” 

“I took a shower yesterday,” Boyd said.  “I’m not unwashed.” 

“Indeed!” Mr. Oliver crooned, but it seemed kind of like he hadn’t heard a word Boyd said.  “Now then, sit! Sit, children!  We shall be watching videos of the greatest artists!”  

Video after video after video of old people who dressed funky and drew pictures of people that looked kinda weird. 

And that was art.   

The next day was music.  And yet again it was another creepy old man who was doing the teaching. 

“My very good friend is the music teacher for the older students, Mr. Lorazeih,” the super old man wheezed as everyone sat in his class.  “My very good friend, possibly my best friend.   It is why I am also teaching music to you younglings.  Now then, let’s listen to some modern music.”  He put on a waltz.

And that was music.

The next day was STEM.  The teacher was another creepy old man!!!   

“I am MISTER LEKAIN, but you will call me VICE MINISTER,” said the creepy old man, “Welcome to STEM!  It is about… uh… plants?”  He looked down at his notes.  “Science, technology, engineering and mathematics.  Ridiculous!  What a contrived acronym!  We will be learning about REAL stems!  Plants!  Well, YOU will be.  I’m too important.”  He moved to put on a video.

“And why does he look like Stalin?” Soren asked in an exasperated whisper.

“Who said that?” the creepy old man demanded.  No one gave him up, and there was a tense standoff.  “Whoever said it is getting detention, but all of you will if you don’t say who it was!”

Soren was paler than a ghost, and Ike was enraged.  Detention?!  He didn’t even know what that meant, but it sounded bad!  He would fight anyone who turned Soren in.  He had just made a comment, that was it!  

No one said anything.  

“Fine, I will be discussing this with your teacher,” Mr Lekain sneered before putting on a video.

That was STEM. 

(When Mr. Lekain told Miss Titania what had happened, she assured him she would take care of it.  Everyone was nervous when they went back to class, but that stopped when she got a lollipop from her desk and gave it to Soren with a wink.  She really was the best teacher ever.)

Ike had enough.  During lunch on the fifth day, after another round of “dodge ball,”, he declared, “We should go to the principal’s!” 

Everyone stared at him in shock.   

“For what?” asked Mia.   

“What did we do wrong?” Geoffrey asked with anxiety. 

“No no, we’re not in trouble,” Ike explained, “But specials suck!  They could be super cool but the teachers are all creepy old men!” 

Elincia let out a big sigh of relief.  “I’m so glad someone said it!” 

“So we should go to the principal and tell him that they need to hire new teachers,” Ike continued as he stood up.  “I’ll be the hero and you all can be my backup.” 

“You’re really going to tell Professor Sephiran that teachers are bad?” Calill asked, completely in awe of Ike’s bravery of course.  “He might, I dunno, smite you!  Or call your parents!” 

“I don’t care,” Ike said with determination. 

“We can’t go without an adult,” Lucia chimed in.  The one in the room was some random aide, so they all looked at him. 

“I would pay money to see this, so might as well,” said he, also standing.  The kids were impressed so they also stood to follow Ike in his march to rectify this great injustice.  Soren scurried ahead to take Ike’s hand, so Ike squeezed it.  He’d protect him of course.   

They walked through the office to the Principal’s Office.  The door was open so they went right in.  Dr. Sephiran looked as creepy-nice as always.  But Ike wasn’t afraid. 

(Okay, he was a little afraid.) 

 He wasn’t afraid of anything!  “Hi, my name is Isaac Bryce Greil but everyone calls me Ike,” he announced, and the man looked up.  “I wanted to let you know that the specials teachers all suck so you should fire them and get better ones.  I love this school a lot and Miss Titania is the bestest, but the specials teachers are just a bunch of creepy old men!” 

“Yeah!” said Boyd, but when the others looked at him he shrunk again.  Truly Ike was the bravest one here. 

Soren tentatively raised his hand.  Mr. Sephiran smiled at him with a little nod.  “The gym teacher has a Hitler mustache and the STEM teacher has a Stalin mustache,” he said in a quiet voice.  “I think that’s unethical.”   

Dr. Sephiran’s smile didn’t change at all.  He definitely seemed amused.  “Do you all agree?” 

The class all nodded.   

Dr. Sephiran stood up.  He was really tall!  He walked over to a board which had the teachers’ names all over it.  He added a bunch of stars after Miss Titania’s name and a number of Xs after the special teachers’, ones for each kid.  This meant that the special teachers each had like a billion Xs after their names.  “Well, look at that.  We now have enough complaints to fire them.” 

Ike was in shock.  So each X was a complaint and each star was a compliment?  Everyone had stars except for the specials.  

“Wait, so this worked?” Nephenee asked loudly enough that Ike was kind of offended.   

“Go finish your lunches, littles,” said Dr. Sephiran with that same smile, but now Ike decided it was nice instead of creepy.  They went back to class as Heroes, and Ike felt awesome.   

It took a few weeks of canceled specials for things to start up again.  Their first special was the best!!!!!! 

There was a nice guy, big and burly and happy.  “Hi y’all!  Oh, Nephenee!”  He held his arms open. 

Nephenee, usually timid, ran into the gym squealing, “MR. BROM!” at the top of her lungs as she threw herself into his arms.  Calill ran after her, also hugging him.  Ike kind of wanted to run and hug him too, but he didn’t know him so that would be weird.  That was a rule.  

“So glad to see ya!”  Mr. Brom exclaimed as he hugged them both. He looked up and smiled brightly at the rest of the class.  “If y’all could stand on the black line so I can get ta know your names that’d be swell!”  He gently patted the girls so they would join in line, which they did.  He went down the line greeting everyone jovially.  “All right!  Like Nephenee told ya, I’m Mr. Brom and your new gym teacher.  So I saw that the old one was playin’ dodgeball, so I’m gonna be honest - I hate dodgeball.  Throwin’ balls at people is never okay!”  When it was put like that, Ike had to admit it made sense.  “So I set up an obstacle course where ya have to jump, run and climb!”  He gestured behind him, and Ike was surprised to see that various pieces of equipment had been set up.  There were hula hoops on the floor, mats and balance beams, and even a mini rock wall!  “But don’t worry ‘bout nothin’, it’s not timed and I’ll help anyone who needs it.  We’re just gonna have fun, okay?”  He put on some catchy music.  Since Elincia’s last name was first in the alphabet, they all cheered for her as she ran the course first.

And that was gym.  And it was way better.

The art teacher was a super cool guy who even had an eyepatch.  “I’m Mr. Haar,” said he with a lazy air.  “Art is all about being creative and having fun.  So…”. He placed down huge pieces of paper over every table, and bottles of fingerpaints in a variety of pretty colors.  “Go crazy.  Mix colors, draw pictures, write stories.  Whatever you want.”  Then he sat down and seemingly went to sleep.

And this was fun, too!  The only problem was the paint.  Lethe and Lyre acted like kitties and refused to touch it at first, but when they finally did they had a lot of fun.  Soren however got some on his hand and immediately ran to the sink to wash it off, looking distressed.  And it turned out Mr. Haar hadn’t fallen asleep at all because he got up and got Soren a brush without even needing to be asked.  Much happier now that he wasn’t going to get dirty, Soren joined the mural making.  Ike got completely covered in paints of all colors and thought it was awesome.

And that was art.  And it was way better.

The next day was music.  The teacher was much younger, probably right out of school so like 15 or something.  Ike wasn't good with ages.  He had ridiculously long blonde hair and a serene smile.  "Good morning, class!" he said, jubilant, "My name is Mr. Rafiel, and I am your new music teacher!  Together we will learn about music, play music, and sing music!  It's a beautiful world that I hope you all come to love with me.  That said, you are kindergarteners, so we have to begin with kazoos."  He chuckled melodically.  "Your parents will love me, I'm sure."

Ike rocked out on his kazoo, of course.

And that was music.  And it was way better. 

"Welcome, welcome, welcome to STEM!" The teacher was a somewhat older man and Ike was fleetingly worried that it was going to be another Creepy Old Man, but thankfully it wasn't.  "I'm Mr. Nolan.  I'm excited to teach you all about science, technology, engineering and math."  Ike wasn't sold yet.  "Check out my cool robot!" 

Ike was entranced.  He hadn't been excited for STEM, but this guy had robots!!!!  It was a ball that used a tablet to roll around the carpet, and it was definitely among the coolest things he'd ever seen.

And that was STEM.  And it was way better.

"... and so Soren and I got to go at the same time and our robots crashed into each other and it was super funny," Ike finished regaling Daddy on the ride home.  "Mr. Nolan wasn't even mad!  But the robots didn't break or anything."

"So now that you've had all of them, which is your favorite?" Daddy asked.

"Oh man, I don't know," Ike admitted.  "I like all of them!"

"Art," said Soren, "once I didn't have to touch it."  He got a look of disgust on his face.  "So unhygenic."

Daddy laughed.  "Soren, you might be the only kindergartener in the world who knows what unhygenic means, let alone be worried about it."

"I'm not sorry," he said primly. 

"I know."  Daddy was clearly trying to not laugh more.  "Anyway, I'm glad to hear that specials got figured out.  After that first week I was worried I was going to have to file a complaint, but it seems like it got fixed."

"And none of the teachers have dictator facial hair," said Soren with great peace and finality.

Chapter Text

Ike and his class sat on the carpet for morning meeting - a time where they would talk about the date, what was going on for everyone, do some songs and dances, and other stuff.  Ike liked circle time.  And today’s circle time was super special because…

“Who knows what the month is?” Miss Titania asked the class.

“November!” Lucia called out. 

“Not anymore!” Miss Titania said with a big smile.  “It’s now December!” 

Ike’s day suddenly became AWESOME.  “THAT MEANS IT’S CHRISTMAS!” he exclaimed with great joy.  Everyone shushed him, but it was too late.  He was too excited.  It was Christmas!!!!!!  The best holiday ever – yes even more than Halloween! 

But everything went quiet and calm when Soren raised his hand, because Miss Titania had NOT asked a question, and Soren never asked questions, ever.   Miss Titania was visibly surprised as she called on him.  “What’s Christmas?” he asked. 

There were a significant amount of dramatic gasps, the loudest of which came from Ike.  What was Christmas?? How did Soren not know what Christmas was???  Ike had failed in being a Best Friend.   

Miss Titania explained, “For some people it is a very important holiday because they believe God was born on Earth this day.  But for everyone who wants to, it can be just a day where people stay together and exchange gifts.  But it’s one of many holidays in December!”  

It turned out Ike was not the only person shocked by Soren, as later that day during snack time Elincia asked, “Soren, how do you not know what Christmas is?”   

“Ma’am got gifts in December but I think she just bought them for herself,” Soren mused.   

“Who’s Ma’am?” asked Mia.

“Mean Lady,” Ike supplied.  “She’s in jail now.” 

“Oh, HER,” said Mia with judgment.  “She was awful.  I shouldn’t be surprised she didn’t like Christmas either. Or anything fun.” 

“You’re adopted?” Calill asked Soren in surprise.  “I am too!”  Soren looked at her with shock.  “Only my mom and dad never… you know… are that mean.  I mean they can be mean when I’m bad… but I know how to talk… no cockroaches either…” It was clear she was talking herself into a hole. 

“Well, I’m not adopted by her anymore,” Soren said with relief.   

“But anyway so we gotta teach you about Christmas,” said Ike with great happiness, excited to share his worldly wisdom with his best friend.  “So Santa Claus is magic and brings toys to kids who are good.  Also sometimes there are elves who watch people for him to make sure you’re being good.  But Soren you’re always really good so I bet you’re gonna get a LOT of presents!” 

Soren, oddly enough, looked highly nervous, but he didn’t say anything.  Ike figured it was just Soren being Soren and let it go. 

The weeks went by quickly.  School went all-in on Christmas, with decorations everywhere and lots of songs being sung, and they all got cool Santa hats and Ike wore his all the time.  Best time of the year for sure! 

Things came to a head on Christmas Eve.  Ike was helping bake cookies, but he heard Soren talking in the other room quietly.  Even Mama went quiet so she could also eavesdrop.   

“Excuse me,” Soren asked Daddy quietly, “Do you have a taser?” 

“A what?” Daddy asked, sounding baffled.  “A taser?  No.” 

“How about a gun?” 

“Woah woah woah,” said Daddy, “Why do you want a gun?” 

“To keep out burglars,” he explained.  Ike and Mama looked at each other, and it was clear Mama didn’t know what Soren was talking about either. 

Surprisingly, Daddy did.  “You can’t shoot Santa.” 

“But, but then how do we stop him coming inside??” Soren asked with distress.   

“He comes to give us stuff.  He’s nice.” 

“Then he should do it at a sensible hour and leave presents on the porch like a good delivery person!” He sounded absolutely distraught.   

Mama’s expression melted.  Ike thought awwwwww, although he was also worried that now Soren was going to murder Santa Claus.  What a way to get on the Naughty List. 

“It’s fine, I promise,” said Daddy.  “Don’t be so scared.”  Ike peeked in and saw that Soren was on the verge of tears and Daddy was hugging him tightly.  “I won’t let anything happen to you.” 

“Promise?” 

“I promise.” 

Ike beamed and went back to cookies, singing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” as he did so. 

Except, it wasn’t quite over. 

That night, Soren curled up on his bed and held a book that Ike had never seen before.  “What’s that?” he asked, putting his head over the side of the bunk bed.   

“It’s my tome,” said Soren calmly.   

“Why do you have your tome?”  Ike was impressed, because usually these things were locked up.  Just like Ike didn’t have access to his wooden sword all the time, Soren didn’t always have his tome. 

“Because… just because Santa is nice doesn’t mean he might not bring someone in who isn’t nice.  Or, or maybe someone might pretend to be Santa!  So I’m gonna stay awake and stop anyone who comes in.”  Soren was frowning, very determined.   

“Uh…”. Honestly, Ike had never once thought of such a thing.  “Well, my daddy would do a better job of stopping bad guys than us.  He’s a hero.” 

“Us?” Soren asked, worried. 

“Well yeah!  If you’re gonna stay up all night to keep us safe, I’m gonna do it too!”  He grinned at him.  “Normally Santa doesn’t give out presents when people are awake, but I’m sure he’ll be okay since we’re doing heroics, not trying to get presents early.”  Although that was very tempting.   

Soren regarded Ike thoughtfully, looking worried.  “Um… okay…”

“Here, I have a great idea!”  Ike hopped down from the top bunk, jumped into the bottom bunk, and gave Soren a big hug.  “Do you want me to sleep with you tonight?”  Soren was shaking as he nodded which Ike found sad and cute.  He held him tight all night long, keeping him safe. 

Ike was too excited to be nervous the next morning.  So what if they’d been up way too late?  It was CHRISTMAS and they hadn’t interrupted Santa so they should be in the clear!! 

The tree was covered in lights and homemade ornaments and most importantly there were like a million presents underneath it!  Ike immediately started sorting presents.  “See Soren?  Told you Santa was good!!”   Soren was much calmer and he was also smiling.  Mama and Daddy ran the show and everyone got presents!  

“So next year I hope you won’t think about murdering Santa,” Daddy told Soren with a big grin.

Soren was sorting his vast collection of art supplies.  He got a little smile on his face.  “Well… I was up all night and heard nothing… so, he’s either magic or… well.”  Daddy rubbed his hair.  Ike decided to not worry about it anymore and just enjoy the Best Christmas Ever.  

Chapter Text

Every Thursday some lady would come take Soren away for “speech therapy.”  Ike didn’t like that hour, but he wasn’t allowed to go so he just defended Soren’s pencil and marker collection, which was now the envy of the whole class.

Then one day Ike looked at the schedule and realized Soren had been gone WAY TOO LONG.

He ran up to Miss Titania.  “Why’s Soren still gone?!”  She raised an eyebrow at him and he fixed himself by raising his hand.  When she nodded at him, he asked the question again.

“Well, there is a different classroom where the children need more support with their feelings or they’ve had bad stuff happen to them,” she explained.  “So they’re seeing if that might be a good room for him.”

This was awful!!!  

“No!” Ike yelled, “No no no!”  The class went quiet even though it was recess time because Ike never got upset.  He stomped his foot and fought back tears.

“Ike, no yelling,” she said gently.  “And you should be happy for your friend.”

“I’m not!  I’m really mad!”  He tried to run out of the classroom but plastic on the doorknob made it impossible to open for all but the greatest of kindergarteners.  So when that failed, he just cried and yelled at the ground.  He could hear the other kids come closer to him but he didn’t care because he was so mad!

“Ike,” said a quiet voice with a gentle touch on his shoulder.  Ike looked up with blurry eyes at Soren, who was worried, so Ike gave him a big hug.  He was there with a kitty man Ike didn’t know but he was probably the teacher that wanted to take Soren.  “Why are you sad?”

“Everyone wants to take you away from me,” Ike said, still sniffling but much calmer.

“Silly, no one can do that.”  They smiled at each other as they stood up.  

“Good, ‘cause we’re best friends FOREVER,” Ike insisted.  

Given that he had calmed himself and not hurt anyone, Ike was told he could go back to recess and so he did.  They had a lot of stuff but Ike didn’t feel like playing so he just sat by Soren and watched him draw.  Miss Titania and Mr. Ranulf (the “emotional support” teacher) chatted.

“Weenie,” said Lethe smugly.  She and her sister were playing with dolls at her desk.  Lyre gasped.

“What?” Ike asked, because surely she wasn’t talking about him.

“You’re a weenie, Ike,” she said, a little louder.  The class went quiet.

Ike was confused by that, but it didn't matter because Miss Titania stepped in and made Lethe be nice.  But man he and Lethe weren't going to be friends, were they?  That was a bummer.  But she was clearly a BULLY and Ike HATED bullies more than ANYTHING. 

Except STUPID STEFAN.

Ike hated STUPID STEFAN more than ANYONE or ANYTHING.

STUPID STEFAN started up with them in November.  He was a therapist and he came to talk to the class about something called beorc, laguz and Branded.  Ike knew he was beorc.  He knew Lethe and Lyre were laguz.  He didn't care about that, he liked Lyre because she was nice and didn't like Lethe because she was angry.  He had never once heard of a Branded, and STUPID STEFAN explained it was someone who was a mix. 

Like him.  And Soren.

And so Soren started to meet with STUPID STEFAN too, only STUPID STEFAN was super cool and nice and he tried to bring Ike into it and he could use a sword like Daddy and so Soren liked STUPID STEFAN and so IKE HATED  STUPID STEFAN because Soren liked STUPID STEFAN more than he liked Ike, he just knew it. 

So Ike became angry too, sort of.  He was still nice to everyone except for Lethe and STUPID STEFAN.  But Boyd’s daddy was really sick, Mia was starting to be not so happy because her daddy was making her take piano lessons that she didn't want to take, and Callil had said Elincia was boring and so Geoffrey hit her and now there was a rule that there was no hitting, and Lethe was still mean but never so mean as when STUPID STEFAN was nearby. 

Then in January it got worse.

Ike was having a bad day.  Mist had broken his tablet but said it was Ike's fault so Ike got yelled at until he proved it wasn't his fault, and Aether had tried to come to school with him but was told no so even his dog was sad, and Ike had a cold and he hated it, and then Soren went to therapy with the speech therapist and STUPID STEFAN and Ike was just having the worst day ever. 

It got a little better when Soren came back.  But then Lethe had to go and call him a weenie again.

"Why are you so MEAN?" Ike demanded of her, because he had had about enough of her being a bully and Miss Titania had stepped outside so she wasn't there to interrupt.

"Because you are really and truly a weenie," she said with a smirk.  "Cryin' all the time over someone who isn't even there."

It had been something they talked about.  Laguz liked to say that Branded weren't there because they were bad, and that was bad.  But this was the first time that someone had said that about Soren.  And for it to come from Lethe of all people? 

Ike was mindful of the no-hitting rule.  But he couldn't let this go. 

"You and me, after school," he said firmly, "We're gonna fight."  Everyone gasped.  Lethe laughed at him, but he meant it.  "Before the buses and cars come."  Because Daddy would be maaaaaaaad if he found out Ike got in a fight, even if it was a totally justified one.

"Sure, Ike.  Sure."  She snickered, but he meant it!

So later on when they were all packed up and waiting for the buses and cars, Ike walked up to her because he meant it.  "Okay, I've had enough of you being a bully," Ike told her.  "You wanna be mean, you gotta fight me and win."

She looked worried now, as did Lyre and Soren, but Ike didn't care because he was having a bad day. 

"I'm not a bully," she said. 

"You ARE.  You said Soren isn't real!  You take that back and we don't have to fight."

"Oh.  Nope."

So Ike fought her.  He was scrappy and strong and his daddy was a fighter too so Ike knew how to fight, but Lethe was a cat laguz and they liked to fight too so it was an even fight.  There was punching and kicking and Ike got cut because of her claws, but he got her pinned before any adults had time to come over.  "TAKE IT BACK!" he yelled.

"He's real," she snarled, defeated in an honorable duel.

He let her up, but it didn't matter because they had to go to the principal's office and Ike got a letter sent home and he got grounded for a month.

Lethe was a lot nicer after that.    Ike was pretty sure it was their trial by combat that made her come around, although maybe it was because Mr. Ranulf was starting to come see her in class too.  She said Soren was real, and in fact Lethe and Soren had fun making fun of people (nicely for their friends, but they could get pretty mean for people who were mean too), which was weird but hey.   She was never as happy acting as Lyre, but that was just her personality to be a little more less out there.   That was okay, not everyone was gonna be super happy.  Ike liked her now so it was all okay.

So now Ike was friends with everyone!  In fact he also liked Mr. Ranulf, so he was friends with even more people than before!

Except, of course, for STUPID STEFAN.  Obviously.

Chapter Text

Ike walked with Soren into the classroom in the morning as they did every day.  They still held hands but only one hand because Soren wasn’t so anxious anymore, so that was a plus.  They held hands because they liked to.  There was a strange man in the room, talking with Miss Titania.   

“You have to realize this comes off as really desperate,” Miss Titania was saying to the man.   

The guy was a stoic strong-looking man with dark hair and a very embarrassed expression.  “First of all, it’s a coincidence.  Second of all, you are the last person to talk.” 

“You just happened to get assigned to the class with Gawain’s son,” Miss Titania said dully.  Ike was now tuned in because he knew his daddy’s name was Gawain.  So clearly, he was the Gawain’s son.  Unless other people in the class had daddies named Gawain, but it wasn’t a common name so he doubted it.  Soren’s foster daddy was Gawain but then he’d be Gawain’s foster son, not Gawain’s son.   

“Yes!  It was a complete coincidence!”   

“Suuuure.”  

“Again!  You are the LAST person to talk!” 

“Hi?” said Ike with great confusion.   

Both adults looked at him with surprise.  “Oh, hi Ike!” said Miss Titania cheerfully.  “This is Mr. Zelgius, the new student teacher.” 

“Oh, cool,” said Ike, more baffled than anything. 

“I’ll explain everything during circle time,” she continued.  “Go unpack.” 

Ike led Soren to the cubby areas and they unpacked.  “Your daddy’s name is Gawain, isn’t it?” Soren asked him. 

“Yeah,” said Ike as he hung up his coat.  He didn’t like wearing a coat but Mama said it was a rule because it wasn’t that warm out.   

“Huh.”  They put everything away and then went to their seats.  They were early because Daddy usually dropped them off early, so they got out some coloring sheets.  Ike kept taking glances at this new ‘student teacher,’ because what even was that?  He was sus.   

Mr. Zelgius also stared right back at him, which was weird too.  “Your dad taught me swordplay,” he blurted.   

“Cool,” said Ike, not sure what else to say. 

“Yeah,” he said in reply.  At this point Geoffrey, Lucia and Elincia came in, so at least the awkward conversation got to end.  He focused on coloring his manatee coloring sheet so he could give it to Soren.  He made it rainbow.   

Eventually they were all called for circle time, so they all sat on the carpet.  “We have some changes today,” Miss Titania explained, which made Ike happy because he liked when things were different as long as the difference was good.  “You have probably already noticed the new person.  This is Mr. Zelgius, who is learning how to be a teacher with me.” 

“Hello,” said he.   

“Sometimes he’ll do lessons with you, or help out around the classroom, so treat him like you treat me,” she continued.  “After circle, we’re going to do small groups for reading.  Half of you will be with me, the other half with Mr. Zelgius, then we swap.”  There was a knock at the door and everyone looked.  There was a nice-looking woman with green-blue hair that Ike kind of recognized.  “Ah, Soren, it’s time for you to go with Ms. Sigrun.”  Oh right, the speech therapist. 

Soren stood up.  “Can I go too?” Ike asked, because he always asked and figured some day they might give in. 

“No,” said Miss Titania.  Ike sighed.  Soren left with Ms. Sigrun.  “All right, group one is with me – Elincia, Lucia, Lethe, and Calill.  Group two is with Mr. Zelgius – Ike, Boyd, Mia, Lethe, Nephenee and Geoffrey.”

Everyone split up, although Ike was bummed he was with the weird new guy instead of Miss Titania.   He could tell no one was excited.  Lyre’s tail was puffy and it was silly.  “So we are learning the letter X this week,” Mr. Zelgius said somberly. Ike wasn’t sure why, but he just didn’t like this guy.  He was weird!  He was weird.  He just was.  Then he handed out marker boards and Ike liked him okay.  Marker boards were cool!  He immediately started drawing pictures, only stopping when Mr. Zelgius threatened to take his board.  Ugh.  Spoilsport. 

So they wrote X a billion times.  X was a weird letter and Ike didn’t like it.  “What is the point?  K and S makes the same sound.  So why does fox have to be F-O-X instead of F-O-C-K-S?” Ike asked Mr. Zelgius.  Ike thought he had an excellent point and that everyone should be proud of him for remembering the sounds that K and S make!

“I don’t think anyone else gives a…” Mr. Zelgius didn’t finish the sentence, but he seemed amused at whatever the joke he was making was.  Ike didn’t get it.  Mr. Zelgius wasn’t a good teacher. 

Boyd drew the biggest X in the world on his marker board, put the board down, and crossed his arms.  “I’m done,” he announced.

“No you’re not,” said Mr. Zelgius.

“Yes I am,” said Boyd.  “This is boring.”

“I want to go home,” Mia chimed in.

“I want my mommy,” Lyre added.  Her tail was depuffing. 

Mr. Zelgius kinda looked like he wanted to smite them all.  Ike wasn’t sure how else to describe it.  “School just started.  Just because I’m new doesn’t mean you don’t still listen to me.  I’m a teacher.”

“Yeah but you’re not OUR teacher,” Geoffrey reasoned.  He pointed across the room to Miss Titania.  “She is.”

“I am your teacher now,” said Mr. Zelgius.

“You smell funny,” said Lyre.  He looked at her with a slight glare.  “Like… um… I dunno.  Soren smells like pumpkin spice and Mr. Stefan smells like cloves but you smell kinda like cinnamon.  It’s weird.”

Mr. Zelgius went stiff.  “That’s enough,” he said more firmly in a voice that made the group brace themselves.  “It’s time for work.  We are writing words that have ‘x’ in them.  No more talking.”

The rebellion quelled, they sat to finish their work.  Ike kept in mind what Lethe had said.  He wondered if it had to do with the whole Branded thing?  He’d have to bring it up at lunch.

Lunch time came later, and today Miss Titania got to go to another room and Mr. Zelgius sat across the room. 

“Soren, did you know you smell like pumpkin spice?” Ike asked him.  His eyes shot up in confusion.  “Lyre said you smell like pumpkin spice.”

“Oh no,” said Soren with a sigh.

“That’s hilarious!  Oscar said that only boring people drink pumpkin spice stuff!” said Boyd with giggles.

“That’s mean,” Elincia argued, “Not only is it tasty, but Soren is nice and not boring at all.”

“Sorry,” said Boyd, chastised.

Soren looked at his thermos that was in his packed lunch.  He looked conflicted before he finally admitted, “Now I don’t want my juice, I want a pumpkin spice latte.”

“We should sneak out and go to Starbucks!” Mia suggested with excitement. 

“No,” said Mr. Zelgius.  The group sighed in disappointment.

“I don’t like him,” Ike whispered.  “He’s weird and boring and not nice.  Miss Titania is way better.”

“He’s not as good as Miss Titania for sure,” Lucia agreed also in a whisper. “But like no one is.”

“Apparently he’s only here to get close to Ike’s daddy,” Soren chimed in conspiratorially.  “So I think he’s in love with him.  Ike’s daddy is married to Ike’s mama.  So that’s pretty weird.”

“He smells like cinnamon,” Lethe whispered, and her sister gave her a high-five of corroboration.

“So he’s weird, in love with a married man, not nice, boring, and smells like cinnamon,” Geoffrey recounted.  “But I think we’re stuck with him, and he could be worse.”

“But I have bad news,” Lyre added, “He’s too strong for us.  I puffed up and he wasn’t intimidated at all!”  Ike was confused at how those things went together.

“I think he can hear us,” Nephenee noted. 

“I can,” he confirmed.  “And I am not here to get close to Ike’s father.”

“Uh huh,” said Ike, making a mental note to warn his daddy.

There was a soft knock at the door before it opened.  The kids all went rigid because it was Dr. Sephiran, the principal.  Ike was not afraid of him because he wasn’t afraid of anyone, but he smiled in a way that made Ike feel like he would happily put you in jail or hurt you and not stop smiling.  It was hard to describe.  It was crazy.  “Hello, how is it going?” Dr. Sephiran asked. 

“Sir,” said Mr. Zelgius.  “It’s going well, all things considered.”

Dr. Sephiran smiled more, looking around at the group.  “Miss Titania says you’re all very good for her,” he said, addressing them.  “Although apparently you’re all trying to foment a rebellion against Mr. Zelgius.  I’d prefer if you didn’t.”  It was said politely but Ike felt chills of terror.  “I actually quite like Mr. Zelgius.”  Mr. Zelgius blushed, which Ike thought was weirdly cute.  “Oh, and Ike, tell your father we say hello.”  With a mischievous smirk, he left the room.

Mr. Zelgius’ blush turned into a red face of embarrassment. “No,” he said.

“Suuuuure,” said Ike, now more convinced than ever that Mr. Zelgius was in fact in love with his daddy. 

“Drop it and eat your lunches.  You only have five minutes left.”

Ike renewed his focus onto lunch.  Gossip was all well and good, but hunger was more important! 

“And car-riders, Mr. Zelgius will walk you out,” Miss Titania finished the afternoon routine.  Ike didn’t really care – he knew where to go without anyone, but usually yeah an adult did walk them out.  Whatever.   

So Ike, Soren, Calill, Lethe and Lyre walked with Mr. Zelgius to the little driveway where parents parked for pickup.  Daddy was waiting at the door with Mist, who squealed in joy as she hugged Ike and Soren.  However, Daddy did a double-take as he looked at Mr. Zelgius.  “Oh, hi,” said Daddy. 

“Sir,” said Mr. Zelgius with a polite head-nod.   

“This is Mr. Zelly and he’s the new student teacher,” Ike explained to him.   

“Yes, I’ve met him before,” said Daddy.  “Anyway, let’s go boys.  Did we have a good day?” 

“Kind of,” Ike said, getting in the car with Soren and Mist.  Daddy and Mr. Zelgius gave each other nods as Daddy got in too.  “Mr. Zelgius is okay but I like Miss Titania more.” 

“Don’t we all,” said Daddy with a sigh.  “But he’s not bad.  Just kind of weird. Hopefully it gets better.”  Ike had to agree.  

The next day once again Mr. Zelgius walked everyone to the cars.  And there was something weird about it that Ike couldn’t quite put his finger on. 

“Do you have a crush on Ike’s daddy?” Soren asked Mr. Zelgius as they walked the halls, which surprised Ike.   

“No!” Mr. Zelgius yelled with great shame.   

“My daddy’s married to my mama,” Ike had to say. 

“I know that!  I do not have a crush on him!  Miss Titania was projecting!” 

“What does that mean?” asked Calill. 

“Nothing!  Ask your parents!  Bye!”  Mr. Zelgius, face bright red, ushered them out the door.  And this time Daddy was waiting in the car.  Ike and Soren got in without dallying. 

“So I think our student teacher is in love with you,” Soren said.  “And then he said that Miss Titania was projecting.  That means he thinks Miss Titania is also in love with you, right?” 

Woah.  Apparently his daddy was popular. 

Daddy let out a deep sigh of resignation.  “Don’t worry about it,” he said eventually. 

Ike wasn’t exactly sure how he could do that, but he’d try.

Things came to a head about a week later.  They were sitting for a lesson taught by Mr. Zelgius about math.  They had to draw out pictures to learn how to add.  Ike understood how to do it, but he saw Lyre and Boyd were struggling so he didn’t mind doing more work on it. 

“Huh, all of these are ending up to be seven,” Mr. Zelgius mused as he wrote more circles for the next problem.  “What are the odds?”

“The same odds as you ending up as the student teacher in Gawain Greil’s son’s kindergarten class,” Miss Titania muttered.

“Only one person in this room is in love with him and it’s not me!” Mr. Zelgius snapped back.

Miss Titania and Mr. Zelgius glared at each other with hatred, and Ike was pretty sure they were trying to kill each other with their minds.  The entire class remained completely silent.  Ike had no idea what to do, just staring back and forth between them.  He was kind of disturbed.

“We need to talk outside,” Miss Titania said, storming out of the room.  Mr. Zelgius followed with the same energy.  Once in the hallway, they started shouting at each other so loud and vehemently that Ike had no idea what they were saying.  This resulted in a lot of other adults running over.

Mr. Ranulf came into the classroom, looking extremely amused.  “Hi kids!” he exclaimed.  “Everything is fine.  Not everyone is going to get along and that’s okay.  Buuuuut as Ike and Lethe know, fighting is not the way to solve our problems, right?”

“Actually, fighting solved our problem,” Ike argued.

“Not helping, Ike,” said Mr. Ranulf, still grinning.

“Oh, sorry.”

Mr. Ranulf ended up teaching them the rest of the day, which admittedly was only about an hour.  The next day Mr. Zelgius’ stuff was out of the classroom and Miss Titania looked embarrassed.  Ike didn’t mind.  Hopefully he could now return to ignoring that people were in love with his daddy.  He did not need this in his life. 

Chapter Text

It was the last day of January when Ike remembered something super important.  He and Lucia had been playing Roblox online, she mentioned her and Geoffrey’s birthday was in exactly two months, and then Ike realized something AWFUL and ran from his bedroom to downstairs.  

“OH MY GOSH SOREN I’M SO SORRY!” Ike yelled as he ran into the living room.  Soren was cuddling with Aether and they were all watching TV together (Mama loved “Dr. William” which was a talk show, for some reason).  “Your birthday was in January and we didn’t have a party or anything!!”

“Oh,” said Soren.

“And that’s TERRIBLE!” Ike insisted.

“Honey, his birthday was the 5th.  We asked Soren if he wanted a party and he said no,” Mama said. 

Ike was aghast.  “Huh?  Why??  Parties are awesome!  Especially birthday parties!  You eat cake and get presents!  We gotta have a birthday party!”

Soren shook his head and buried his face into Aether’s curly fur.  

“He doesn’t like that kind of attention, Ike,” said Daddy, “You know that.  Try to think about it from his perspective.”

“Huh?”

“Put yourself in his shoes,” Mama helped.  “You know Soren doesn’t like crowds or too much attention on him.”  She reached over to pet Soren’s long hair as he nodded.

Ike thought about it.  Well, he tried to, anyway.  He only figured it out when Mist spoke up, “Silly Soren, parties are the best!  I want another birthday party!”

“Your birthday is in October,” Daddy said with a short laugh.  “You have a long time until you have a birthday party again.”  And of course Mist started to cry because she was a crybaby, but Ike also realized that if Mist thought it was true then it had to be wrong, so he sighed and gave up, sitting to cuddle with Aether and Soren.  

Still, he regarded Soren thoughtfully.  So, no birthday parties for him apparently.  But… hm… what was the next holiday?

Oh.  

Valentine’s Day.

Ike blushed at the very idea.  Last year the day hadn’t even been on his radar except for Daddy having bought Mama a lot of roses.  It was a love celebration right?  He did love Soren.  

Yes, that was it!  He could ask Soren to be his boyfriend!  

 Ike held Mama’s hand as they walked through the parking lot to the store.  He was very excited for their shopping trip.  It wasn’t often he got Mama Time, but Daddy and Mist had taken Soren to see the eye doctor.   

“Are you getting toys today?” Mama asked him.   She liked to do that – review the rules before going into a store.  Ike sometimes forgot so really it was good for him. 

“No,” he said, disappointed.  “We’re gettin’ some food and work stuff for Daddy and Valentines.” 

“And can you eat anything in the store?” 

“Noooooo.” 

“And if you keep your hand on the cart and stay calm when I tell you no…?” 

“I get candy in the checkout aisle,” he said, smiling.  Candy was awesome. 

“Good boy.”  Mama smiled at him. 

“Can I get something for Soren too?” 

“Sure, sweetie.”  They went in an Mama got a cart.  Ike put his hand on the cart like a good boy and walked with her.  

She took foreeeever getting all the food, and it all looked so tasty that he wanted to eat it now!  But no they had to pay for it, he knew that.  It was a rule.  Then they walked past an aisle with cards and stuff that was pink and a bunch of stuffed animals.  Ike was so excited that he almost ran down it.   

“Valentines!” he exclaimed.   Mama nodded at him and he ran down to look over all the STUFF. 

His mama pulled out a list.  “All right, ten kids besides you, plus Miss Titania… I know Soren will be getting ones for Mr. Stefan and the other therapists, but do you want to as well?” 

Ike paused, all joy forgotten at the mention of the evil name.  “NO.” 

She laughed.  “Oh Ike. What am I going to do with you.  Well the kids all need the same cards so no one feels left out.” 

Ike doggedly looked for the best cards.  Eventually he settled on a pack with a cute cartoon pie that said Pie like you very much.   He loved puns, they made him crack up.  Plus pie!  

Okay, now he had the mission that he hadn’t told his mama about - asking Soren to be his boyfriend for real.  So he would need the BEST VALENTINE EVER to do it, of course.  None of these cards were good enough, though.   

Then he gasped as he spotted a fluffy-looking toy.  A stuffed dragon that was black with red heart eyes and a big red bow.  It was perfect for Soren!!!!!!!   It looked kinda like him!!!!!

“Ike, I said no toys,” Mama said as Ike picked it up. 

“No no this is for Soren!” he exclaimed.  “It’s so he’ll be my boyfriend!” 

Mama was quiet for about thirty seconds.  “Awwwww,” she said happily.  “That’s so cuuuuuuute.  Well then, I think the dragon would be great for him!  Let’s find a card now!”  She helped him look, and in the end she found the perfect valentine: a card with a glittery manatee that said, Don’t manatease me, please be my Valentine!    

“Mama you are the BEST!” Ike squealed, jumping up and down.  “He’ll say yes for sure now!” 

“You can’t ask him at school though.” 

“Okay!  I’ll ask him in the morning!  Oh can I get him candy too?” 

She just laughed and helped him get little chocolates to go with his valentines.  Then they went shopping for all the Daddy work stuff which was great too, and Ike was so happy except a little nervous about if Soren would say yes or not or if he would find the presents before Valentine’s in two days.  But it was a risk he was gonna take!! 

Ike put on his best clothes – including the Spider Man tie that he HATED not because of Spider Man but because it was a tie but sometimes sacrifices were necessary – and used his mama’s hair gel to slick his spiky hair back.  His pants were clean too.  There, now he looked like an adult.  He took deep breaths – Mr. Ranulf said that was a good way to calm down when you’re nervous but it didn’t work for Ike super well – as he walked up to Soren with his offerings hidden behind his back. 

Soren was putting his bookbag together.  He looked at Ike in confusion as he approached.  “A tie?”   

“Soren Kurth Reale,” he recited carefully, “Will you please be my boyfriend?”  He held out the card and the dragon.   

Soren gasped, shocked.  “Me?” 

“Yeah!” 

Soren blushed heavily and walked to the closet.  Then he pulled out a giant plush elephant.  He’d added flowers to it.  He also had a card with an elephant that said Never forget I love you!  Ike knew that was a pun because elephants never forget.   

Ike was gobsmacked.   

“Will you be my boyfriend?” he asked shyly.   

“Woah!  Did we really have the same idea?!” Ike asked in shock.  “This is AWESOME!  Yeah!  Yeah let’s be boyfriends!”  They swapped animals and cards and then Ike put his down and hugged Soren tight.  Then he did the bravest thing he’d ever done… He gave him a kiss on the cheek. Soren was so red his birthmark was gone, which was so cute!  

Then Soren leaned forward and gave him a peck on the lips. 

Woah!  His first kiss!!!  

Soren giggled.  “Your face is really red.” 

“So is yours!” 

“Elena what have you done?” he heard Daddy say.  He also heard his mama laugh.  

School was super duper awkward because Lyre and Lethe both asked Ike to be their Valentine.  He felt kind of bad telling them he was taken because he was now.  Miss Titania told them all that they were all way too young to be worried about any of this and it was all pretend and silly, but Ike knew the truth.  He and Soren were gonna get married and have beautiful babies and a house and Aether was gonna live with them and it’ll be next door to his mama and daddy and he was gonna be a hero and everything was gonna be great!!!!!!!!! 

It was indoor recess.  “Can I take off my tie?” he asked Soren, who nodded.  He took it off with great relief and put it in his bookbag (which had swords on it and was awesome).  When he came back, Soren patted his desk so Ike sat with him.   

 “So I looked up what people do in a relationship,” Soren said primly.  “They hold hands, and cuddle, and… and k-k-kiss.”

“Okay,” said Ike.  “We kinda already do that.”

“Also they do not do those things with other people,” Soren finished.

“Also okay.”

“Great.  So you need to sign this.”  He pushed over a piece of paper with writing on it.  Soren had excellent writing, but Ike wasn’t super great at it yet.  “It’s a contract saying we will both follow those rules.”  

“Oh, okay.”  Ike got out his favorite crayon and wrote his name.  He’d gotten lucky because his name was short.

Soren then wrote his name.  “Now then.  I feel like playing with the magnet tiles, so you’re free to go play with whatever you want.”  Soren got up and went to the blocks.  It made Ike giggle.  Yep, they were gonna get married some day.

Chapter Text

Soren was upset, but no one knew why. 

They'd come into school that morning like usual.  Soren never really showed a lot of emotion, but he seemed pretty happy, and they held hands and Ike helped him unpack his stuff because they were boyfriends now and Ike wanted to be the best boyfriend ever.  It made Soren giggle even as he said he didn't need help.  He didn't, Ike knew that, but he wanted to help!  They said hi to Elincia, Geoffrey and Lucia, then they went to their desks, and suddenly Soren looked shocked and hurt and angry, and then he sat at his desk and pulled his hoodie over his face and put his head down.

Ike tried to figure it out.  He asked a million questions.  What's wrong?  Why are you mad?  How can I help?  Are you sick?  But Soren didn't answer.  Then Miss Titania asked, and he still didn't answer.  He got up for specials - art - and this made him more upset, and he kept his head down during art too.  Ike even drew him a picture, but he still didn't get happy!  He did his school work, but when he wasn't working his head was down.  STUPID STEFAN came to see him, and at first Soren refused to go, but he did eventually. 

The session went long, and Soren ate his lunch with STUPID STEFAN!!!!

"He woke up on the wrong side of the bed," Geoffrey said with a severe frown and a shake of his head.  The class was sitting together at lunch, everyone there except for Soren. 

"I hope he feels better by recess, because we were gonna figure out checkers together," said Calill, looking nervous. 

"I just wanna know what's wrong!" Ike said vehemently, upset himself.  "I don't know why he won't tell me!  And he's been with STUPID STEFAN forever so I bet he's not telling him either!  Which is good because he shouldn't tell STUPID STEFAN anything.  But bad because I want him to come back."

Mia brightened up.  "It's a mystery we have to solve, you guys!  We can figure this out as a team!"  Ike perked up too.  When it was said like that, there was some hope.  "So, when was the last time he was happy?"

"We came in happy," Ike said.  "He was mad when he saw his desk.”

Lyre got up and ran to his desk.  Then she let out the biggest, most dramatic gasp Ike had ever heard in his whole life.  "His case is gone!!!!!!"

Everyone looked over in shock at that.  Soren's case was a sacred item in the classroom - Soren's art case, Princess Bubbles the Manatee Plush, Elincia and Lucia's BFF necklace, Boyd's "Daily Letter from Big Bro", and Lethe's Calming Catnip bag were all considered special.  The case was filled with his special art supplies - his colored pencils and his glitter pens, plus his sketchbook!  No wonder he was upset! 

"His art supplies are gone!" Lyre wailed with all the drama that this situation rightfully deserved. 

Ike got up and ran over to make sure Lyre hadn't missed anything because she was kinda dumb and really scatterbrained.  But she was absolutely right - the case was really gone!  "This is terrible!" 

Calill stood up with a look of determination.  "We can find it.  We're amazing.  Everyone, let's look around the room!"

They scoured all the desks and the shelves, but found nothing.  The random aide in the class was watching them as if this was amusing, and Ike hated him. 

"It's gone forever," Calill mourned. 

"That's silly," said Nephenee with a giggle.  "Maybe he left it at home?"

"No, he only takes it home on weekends," Ike said, scowling as he thought about it.  "And he never takes it out of the classroom otherwise.  So, someone stole it!"

"Bum bum buuuuuum," said Boyd. 

They all looked at each other.

"So who did it?" Ike demanded, because it seemed like the quickest way to figure it out.  No one answered. 

"I didn't," Nephenee volunteered.  This resulted in everyone saying they hadn't.  So that didn't help at all.

"When was the last time we saw it?" Lethe asked. 

"He put it in his desk before we went home yesterday!" Mia exclaimed.  "He was drawing me a picture!  Here!"  She ran to her desk and pulled out a WIP of manatees with laser beams and chainsaws.  Ike didn't ask.  "See?  You can tell he had his pens!"

"So then whoever stole it did it after school, or before school," Lethe said with a scowl, very serious.

At this point Soren came in with his lunch and went right to his seat, frowning heavily as he ate.  Ike gave him a hug and Soren patted his hand but didn't say or act like himself. 

"It must've been after school," Lucia said.

"If it was, then it's gone," Calill said thoughtfully, "But if it was this morning, it would still be in the room, right?"

"I'll check the bookbags!" Ike exclaimed.   He heard Geoffrey saying he didn't need to, but he ignored it.  The bookbags were at the cubbies and kind of separated from the class, so he was out of sight of the others as he looked in everyone's bookbags.  It wasn't in any of them.  But then he spotted the trash bin by the bookbags and THE CASE!!!!!!!!! WAS IN THE TRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!  UNDERNEATH PAPERS AND STUFF!!!!!!!!!!  AND ALL THE STUFF WAS DUMPED INTO THE TRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I FOUND IT!" Ike yelled, dragging the trash bin into the room.  "Someone threw everything away!"  This got a number of gasps.  Soren got up and ran to the trash.  Seeing that his stuff was in fact in there, he looked so relieved that he might cry. He started pulling things out. Thankfully all that was in there was papers and the art supplies so nothing was ruined.  Ike, however, was not over it.  "Who would do it?!"

"If it was still in the trash, that means the culprit did it this morning!" Calill said with insistence.  "So who was here this morning early?"

"Elincia, Geoffrey and Lucia," Ike declared, because they had been there before he and Soren were.  Everyone gasped and looked at the trio.  Elincia got teary, Geoffrey scowled and Lucia was worried. 

"There's only one thing to do," Lethe said with excitement, "We gotta have a trial!" 

"How do we do that?" Lyre asked, visibly baffled. 

Lethe just sighed.  "We need someone to be the lawyers for Soren and for the accused.”

“I wanna be the judge, 'cause my ma loves those shows,” Nephenee said.

"I'm Soren's lawyer," Ike immediately declared. 

"I wanna be one!" Mia exclaimed, waving her hand in the air.   "I'll be Lucia's!"

Boyd stood up and walked over to the trio.  "Me too!  I'll be, um, Geoffrey's!"

"And I can be Elincia's," said Lethe quietly.  She and Elincia shared anxious looks. 

"I'll help Ike be prosecuter," Calill said.  "We call the first defendant to the stand!"  She pulled out a chair.  "Lucia Delbray, please come sit."

"Objection!" Mia yelled, slamming her hand on the table.  "My client is innocent!"

"Mia," Ike whined despite himself, "the whole point is to figure out if she is or not.  We can't just go for your word for it."

Lucia got up and walked to the Chair, sitting down.  "I am innocent," she said firmly, scowling.

"We'll be the judge of that," Calill said smugly.

"No, I will," Nephenee interrupted.

Ike looked at Lucia, who looked back at him with hostility.  "So Lucia, if that is your real name, where were you the morning of today?"

"Wait, we have to make her vow to tell the truth," Calill interrupted.  "So um, Lucia, do you vow to tell the truth?"

"Objection!" Mia yelled, slamming her hand on the table.  "That's not fair!"

"It's literally part of trials," Calill argued.

"Oh."

"I do," said Lucia, no longer looking so cocky.

"What happens if she still lies?" Lyre asked, perched on her seat and watching with excitement. 

"If she lies and is caught, she gets arrested," said Calill, although Ike wasn't sure how true that was.  He didn't know any of this stuff.  Immediately Lucia, Elincia and Geoffrey looked somewhat panicked.

"Anyway, um, where were you the morning of today?" Ike asked again.

"I came to school with Elinicia and Geoffrey, we came into class and sat at our desks to do morning work."

"And you didn't do anything else, like... steal Soren's art supplies?!"  Ike demanded, hitting the table himself since Mia made it look like a good idea.

"No," said Lucia.  "Those are his, not mine."

"But did you see who did do it?" Calill asked.  Ike was impressed at her questioning.  She was way better than him at this. 

Mia hit the table.  "Objection!"  She didn't say anything else despite the pause for her to do so. 

"The prosecution rests," said Calill, very smug.   No one did anything, so Calill said, "Now you can ask your questions, Mia."

"Oh, sorry.  Um... objection!"  She hit the table again.  "I don't have any questions!"

"So am I done?" Lucia asked awkwardly. 

"Yes," said Calill.  "The prosecution calls Geoffrey Delbray to the stand!"

Geoffrey got up and walked to the Chair, still glaring.  "This is stupid!  No one broke Soren's art supplies!"

"True, but they tried," Ike argued. 

"Objection!" yelled Mia and Boyd at the same time.  Boyd gave her a glare before saying, "Geoffrey wouldn't know how to break a rule even if Miss Titania taught us how!"  He clearly thought this was a sick burn on Geoffrey.  Geoffrey did look offended.  "It couldn't have been him!"

Calill was clearly swayed, and so was Ike frankly.  Geoffrey was probably the biggest goodie two-shoes in a class filled with them.  Ike rubbed his head awkwardly.  "Uh... but we should probably ask a question...  Did you steal Soren's art supplies?"

"No," said he.  "Now can I finish my lunch?"

"The prosecution rests," said Calill.  "So, uh, yes."

Geoffrey went back to his lunch.  Boyd looked a little annoyed.  "Hey, I was gonna ask you questions!"

"This is stupid," he said, starting to eat.  Boyd pouted.

At this point Miss Titania came in.  She looked confused.  "Lunch is over, so what's going on?"

"We found Soren's missing art supplies!" Mia exclaimed with joy.  "It's why he was so mad!  They were in the trash!"

Miss Titania scowled.  "Who threw them away?"

No one confessed to the crime, so Ike said firmly,  "It was Elincia, Lucia or Geoffrey!  Because they were here before us and whoever did it, did it before we got here!  Lucia and Geoffrey both said no, and we were gonna call Elincia to the stand next."

Titania looked at the three of them, who all looked extremely guilty.  "Come with me, you three," she said softly, walking into the hallway.  They followed, and Elincia was already crying.

Silence fell as Soren and Ike finished fixing the art case, everything meticulously inspected and placed in its proper spot.  Ike tried to think of why any of them would do this, but wasn't really sure.  They were all Soren's friends! 

"Elincia looked and smelled really guilty," Lethe said.  Everyone looked at her.  It was kind of an anticlimactic end to the trial. 

Clearly Calill agreed, because she then said, "We call the, uh, victim?  The um.  The opposite of the defendant, to the stand!  Soren Reale, come sit please.”

Soren got up and primly walked to the Chair. 

"So, Soren, um...  okay, so why would Elincia steal your art supplies?"

"She was jealous," he said softly, finally contributing.  "Yesterday she was mad Ike and I are real boyfriends.  That's probably why."

Ike was horrified.  That was right - Elincia like-liked him!!  "That's so mean!   I can't believe she did that, even if she was mad!  She should've thrown away MY stuff, not yours!  I'm the one she's mad at!  She's not my friend anymore!"

Everyone gasped.  Ike never unfriended anyone.  But he was so righteously filled with rage.  He got tears in his eyes because he had liked Elincia as a friend and this was terrible, but he was firm in his determination. 

"It's okay," Soren said, finally closing the case.  He let out a sigh of relief.

"It's not!"  Ike marched out of the room.  Well, he tried to anyway, but he couldn't figure out the plastic on the knob.  He knocked on the door really loud instead, over and over again.

Miss Titania opened it. "Ike, go sit."

"It was Elincia!" Ike declared, glaring at her.  Then he felt kind of bad because she was already bawling her eyes out.  He tried to summon his anger, but it was clear she was really upset.

She walked into the room, crying hard.  "I'm sorry Soren!  I was so mad at you and Ike!  But I shouldn't have done it!  But I couldn't fix it before you came into class!  And then I felt really bad and didn't want to say anything!  I was gonna fix it!  I'm so sorry!"  Her sobs doubled and she ran to the calm-down corner. 

"Miss Titania," Lucia asked with tears in her eyes, "Can I go hug her?"

"Me too," said Geoffrey, not quite as emotional but still looking sad.

"No," said Miss Titania, gentle.  "Everyone, please clean up.  We can talk about this in a minute, okay?  Soren, you can keep eating at your desk."

The class complied, everyone somber after the excitement of solving the mystery and the successful trial.  Ike, at first, hadn't thought it was anyone in the class being mean - he figured someone had borrowed them to use and then forgot to give them back and was too embarrassed to admit it.   This made everything way worse.

"The court finds the defendant Elincia Riddel Crimea guilty," said Nephenee with solemnity.  A little excessive, but a nice end.

By the time everyone was done and sitting on the carpet, Elincia was in the corner still crying but much quieter.  "Everyone makes mistakes," said Miss Titania gently, sitting on the floor with them.  "And everyone feels bad feelings sometimes.  You're all young and learning.  What's important is, if you make bad choices or mistakes, you try to fix it and not do it again.  Right?"  Everyone nodded.  "So, by admitting she was wrong and apologizing, Elincia is doing her best.  Now Soren doesn't have to forgive her, but he can because she's really sorry."

"I do," Soren chimed in.  "If I had a nickel for every time I wanted to destroy someone's stuff, I'd be rich."  Miss Titania actually laughed, shaking her head.  "And she didn't destroy anything.  My stuff is all okay."  He looked to the calm down corner, where she was looking at him with a teary smile.  "Just don't do it again."

"I won't!" she said with relief, getting up and running over to him.  She gave him a hug, which he was visibly uncomfortable with.  He awkwardly patted her on the back.  “And Ike, I’m sorry too!  I promise I won’t like-like you anymore or get jealous.”

Ike frowned just a little.  It was kinda nice having so many people like-like him, even if he just like-liked Soren.  Still, he said, “Okay, just be nice and we can be friends again.”  She beamed at him.

Miss Titania smiled at the class.  "Also," she laughed a little, "if any of you go to law school, I will happily write you letters of recommendation.”

Chapter Text

Ike had a big problem.  The worst problem ever.  A super duper bad problem.   

He wasn’t a sore winner or a sore loser.  He knew he wasn’t going to win or lose every time at anything.  But generally speaking, he was fast and tended to win a lot.  Floor is Lava?  Duck Duck Goose?  Musical Chairs?  He rocked them.  A little less better at Simon Says because he was so quick to react.  Spelling bees kicked his butt but that wasn’t a surprise.  But the one thing he couldn’t win was 

HEADS UP FOUR UP 

It was the worst game of all time.  You put your head down and your thumbs up, and four kids walked around and pushed down thumbs.  Then the people whose thumbs were pushed had to guess who pushed their thumbs.  And Ike 

NEVER 

EVER 

GOT 

IT 

RIGHT. 

It was another day and they were playing it while waiting to go home.  The four up were Elincia, Boyd, Geoffrey and Lyre.  Ike put his head down, waiting for them to come around and of course he didn’t peek because cheating was against the rules.   The worst part, is the game actually called for 7 people to do it, but because their class was so small they went with 4.  So, and Soren explained it to him, he had a 25% chance of getting the right answer.  AND YET. 

AND YET. 

There was a press on his thumb, so when called he stood up.  He was vibrating with excitement.  He hadn’t peeked of course, but the touch had been soft.  So clearly it was Elincia!  He was being logical and using his brain, so he had to be right.   

The problem was that Lethe went first, guessed Elincia, and was right.  So they swapped.   

Soren explained that he now had a 33% chance of getting it right.  He knew it wasn’t Elincia, which made his first thought wrong but at least he didn’t have to sit down yet.  Unfortunately now he had no leads.  Lucia went next and guessed Lyre, and was wrong.  So it meant that Lyre still could’ve picked him.  But surely Lyre would’ve pushed harder!   

“IIIIIIke,” said Miss Titania, smiling, “Guess.” 

He felt the sweat of anxiety as he stared at the three remaining people.   Would it be weird to pick Lyre even though Lucia just had?  Yes, it would be weird.  But it clearly had been her!!!!

“We’ll come back to you,” said Miss Titania, and Ike felt the crushing weight lift.  “Calill?”

“Lyre,” said she, and with a dramatic flounce and pout Lyre went to sit.

Oh, crud!  Now it was down to Boyd or Geoffrey for sure even though Ike hadn’t thought it was either of them!!!! What was he supposed to do?!?!  Miss Titania gave him the countdown so Ike closed his eyes and pointed.

“Nope,” said Geoffrey, and Boyd laughed at Ike.  In fact everyone laughed at Ike to mock him for his failure yet again.  The whole school walked into the classroom just to laugh at him.  Mama and Daddy also drove to school just to laugh at him.  

“Ike,” Miss Titania said a little louder, cutting through the laughter that was actually not happening because no one was laughing, “You can sit down.”

Ike did so, and decided that he was DONE with this horrible game even if no one was laughing at him because he was laughing at himself, and not in the fun way, even if it made no sense!  So he folded his arms and put his head in them, making sure his hands were not visible to make it very clear that neither his head nor his thumbs were up, and they would never be again!  

“Miss Titania, Ike’s hiding his hands,” Lethe complained.

“Then he’s not playing and that’s fine,” Miss Titania replied.   “Pick someone else.”

He heard her huff and felt her tail tickle his ear, and it made him giggle but he clamped it down because he was currently engaging in a one-man protest, thanks.  

The next day was okay.  But then, right before lunch, Miss Titania asked if everyone wanted to play Heads Up Four Up! 

“No!” Ike yelled, incensed, “This stupid game is evil!”  Half the class stared at him in shock, the other half argued that they liked the game, and for some reason Miss Titania covered her face and was shaking as if she was laughing.   

“The game is not evil,” she said with a chuckle.  “And you don’t have to play.” 

Ike immediately made his feelings known by sitting down and putting his head down, with thumbs hidden.  It had worked last time, after all.  But then he heard a weird choking noise and looked up to see Soren had thrown up all over his desk.  He stared at it in shock, as did Soren.  Lethe and Lucia both yelled about how gross it was as they got up and ran from their desks.  Geoffrey got up too but less dramatically.  And Soren just completely shut down, hiding in his hoodie which had thankfully not gotten anything on it.  Ike got up to check on him. 

“All right everyone, back away from him,” Miss Titania ordered because Boyd, Mia, Elincia and Ike had all come up to Soren to see what was going on.  Miss Titania pulled Soren back in his chair away from his desk.   

“He’s sick!” Elincia reported, and Ike was like duh except he was too worried to actually say it.   Instead he connected the dots. 

“This STUPID EVIL GAME got him sick!” Ike declared, filled with the fire of pure hatred against that which had gotten his boyfriend sick.  If it were a thing he could fight, he would fight it.   

“Soren, can you walk to the nurse?” Miss Titania asked Soren quietly, but he didn’t respond.  His eyes were doing that thing where he looked like he wanted to cry but he couldn’t and so he just kinda looked like blank and really sad. “Hmm… I’ll call.” 

“I’ll go get Nurse Rhys!” Ike declared, running to the door.  He was stopped by the stupid plastic on the knob.  He steeled himself because no way it could be THAT hard to figure it out!  He messed with it and then found out he could squeeze it, and ta da!  The door opened!  Under any other circumstances Ike would have been thrilled that he was now among the greatest of kindergarteners, but he had a mission!  He ran out to the nurse’s office.   

“Hello Ike,” said Nurse Rhys kindly. 

“Soren threw up all over his desk!” Ike reported.  “We gotta take him to the hospital!” 

“Oh dear.” Nurse Rhys got up and walked with Ike back to the classroom. Miss Titania was on the phone for the janitor.  Soren was still in the exact spot, looking some mix between horrified and extremely sad.  Ike ran and hugged him, of course.  Soren didn’t respond, still huddled into his hoodie.  Ike was distressed, sitting and pulling him onto his lap and hugging him tight.  

This finally brought Soren out of his shock. “Ike, no!  You can’t get too close, you could get sick too!”   

“I don’t care,” Ike declared.  “I’ll save you from this evil game and everything else.”   

Nurse Rhys checked Soren’s forehead and then put a thermometer in his mouth.  Ike spotted the numbers 102.   “Ah yes, very hot.  We need to call home.” 

Soren’s heart started beating super duper fast and he shook his head no.  “No, please!  I’m sorry, it was an accident!” 

“You’re not in trouble, silly,” Nurse Rhys said softly.  “This happens all the time.  You just need to go home and rest.”  Soren squeezed his eyes shut and burrowed into Ike.  Ike, admittedly, did not know what to do here.  He never got sick, and neither did Mist, so he didn’t know how his parents would act.  But he couldn’t imagine them getting mad at Soren over it!  And if they did, he would defend him of course.   

Miss Titania then hung up with the janitor and made another call.  “Hello Mr. Greil, Soren threw up and has a fever, someone needs to come pick him up.  And, he’s afraid you’re going to get mad.”  There was a pause as Daddy answered.  Miss Titania walked over and held her phone to Soren’s ear.   

Ike could hear Daddy say, “Sweetheart, Soren, you’re not in trouble.  People get sick all the time.  Just try to relax and I’m on my way.  In fact, I’m excited because I never get to take care of a sick kid!  Ike, I’m guessing you’re there?” 

“Of course!” Ike said, chest puffed with pride.  “I’m gonna protect Soren from the game that got him sick.” 

“Uh…?  Okay, sure.  Do you want me to take you home too?” 

“Definitely!”  Ike could not imagine leaving his poor boyfriend to be so scared and sick all by himself, even if Daddy Cuddles were the best cuddles of all time and Soren was guaranteed to get them in abundance.  

First the janitor came in and began to clean up the dirty desk.  Then there was a knock at the door and to Ike’s surprise Mr. Ranulf came in.  “And there’s my sick kitten,” he said sadly, and Ike figured Miss Titania must have texted him too for some reason.  Mr. Ranulf came to kneel by Soren and Ike.  “Soren, remember, deep breaths.” 

“I can’t,” Soren whispered, wibbling.  Ike was ready to panic too because Soren didn’t wibble, ever!  “It makes me wanna puke more.” 

“Okay, whatever you can do to keep calm, even if it’s just hugging Ike.” 

“I can’t do that either because I don’t want to get him sick!” 

“I don’t get sick,” Ike said firmly. He was still hugging Soren.   

Soren squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head more.  Ike remembered this because it was like what he did with the day in the cafeteria.  A ‘panic attack.’  Then Soren pushed off Ike and ran to the trash, throwing up again.  Ike felt AWFUL and followed him to rub his back.   

Miss Titania took everyone else from the classroom.  Mr. Ranulf sat by him and Soren by the trash.  Ike had never felt so helpless or sad in his whole life.  Mr. Ranulf plopped his tail into Soren’s lap.  To Ike’s surprise, Soren hugged the giant kitty tail.  “Soren,” Mr. Ranulf said softly, “You are not going to get in trouble.  Nice people do not get mad when kids get sick.  Ike, do you remember the last time you got sick?” 

“No,” Ike admitted, “Mist and me don’t get sick.  But my mama is a doctor so she’s like really used to people being sick so NO WAY is she gonna get mad!” 

“Good point,” Mr. Ranulf agreed.  “Plus I have great ears and I heard that Mr. Greil already said he was looking forward to spoiling you.  So, you’re about to get pampered within an inch of your adorable life.” 

Soren was quiet for a few seconds before he finally said, “I’m not cute.” 

“Nope, sorry, you are,” Mr. Ranulf said with a grin.  Ike smiled too.   “Little kitten with big nerd glasses?  Super cute.”

At this point Daddy walked in, and Ike was thrilled. He got up and hugged him immediately before dragging him to Soren.  Daddy laughed a little bit.  “Ike, can you go get his stuff?”  Ike gasped and ran off, grabbing their coats and book bags and bringing them back.   

“It’s a trauma response,” Mr. Ranulf was saying quietly to Daddy, who nodded grimly.   

Daddy got Soren into his coat and picked him up.  “Do you have your bags?” 

“Yep!”  Ike was determined to be the hero Soren needed AND deserved right now.  They went out to the car and then to home, Ike worriedly holding Soren’s hand the whole time. 

Daddy swung by to grab Mist from preschool before taking them all home.  He carried Soren inside, so Ike helped Mist (although she told him she didn’t need his help.  She clearly did, because she was a baby) get inside and unpacked.   

“Soren is sick?” Mist asked with great anxiety as Ike got them snack.  He knew the rules were for healthy snacks on every day but Friday or special days, so he grabbed some clementines.   

“Yep, he puked,” Ike reported.  “But he’s gonna be fine!  Daddy said so and Mama is a doctor.”   

“Good point,” she said.  “Are you and Soren gonna get married?” 

“Yep,” Ike said.   

“Cool!  Can we make some get-well cards for him?” 

“That’s a great idea!” Ike exclaimed.  

Daddy came downstairs and told them to be quiet so Soren could sleep.  Ike and Mist drew pictures and cards for Soren and did their best to be quiet. 

“I can’t take that medicine, I’m really sorry,” Soren told Mama that night.  “You or Ike or Mist or Mr. Greil might need it.” 

“Nope, we have plenty and you’re the one who’s sick,” Mama retorted, holding out the small cup of purple stuff.   

“I don’t need it,” Soren said, curling up into his blankets.  “I’m gonna be okay.” 

“I know you will be, but I want you to take it,” said Mama. 

“But it’s expensive,” Soren argued, “and you could use the money for other stuff that’s more important.” 

Mama took a deep breath in and let it out slowly.  “Darling, a rule in this house and most houses is that when you are sick you take medicine to help you feel better.  So, please?” 

Soren looked so conflicted as he took the cup.  “Even if I were sick I wouldn’t take it because I don’t like it, so you should take it,” Ike chimed in, because he was being helpful. 

“Yes you would,” Mama replied easily.  He pouted at her. 

Soren drank it and looked surprised.  “It’s actually tasty,” he marveled.  “Is all medicine tasty?” 

“No,” Mama said, “But sometimes they are.  Thank you, sweetheart.”  She took the cup back and stroked his head.  “All right Ike, let’s let him rest.” 

“I wanna cuddle him,” Ike said, because he did. 

“Sorry honey, but no.  I don’t want you getting sick, too.  He’ll be asleep soon enough.”  Soren did look like he was falling asleep again.   Mama pet his head and gave him a kiss on the forehead, and Ike did the same and followed her out.  

Ike didn’t want to go to school the next day, but Mama and Daddy teamed up so he wasn’t given a choice.  Everyone at school teased him because he obviously missed Soren.  But it wasn’t his fault that Soren was awesome! 

When he got home from school he was told to do his homework and stuff normally, like a usual day after school, but that wasn’t going to happen.  Instead he snuck upstairs and went into the bedroom, getting into the bottom bunk and cuddling with Soren, who was sleeping deeply despite breathing through his mouth.

This was way more boring than anything else ever!  But Soren was so tired he didn’t even mind when Ike pulled his limbs around him, so clearly he needed the snuggles even if it was super duper uper boring.   He would just ask if they could fiiiiiinally get a TV in his room.

When he got busted later, he was reminded that this could get him sick, but Ike was adamant he did not care.  Soren slept through it all.

The third day, Ike came home after school and found that Soren was sitting in the big arm chair, cuddled into a bunch of blankets cozy.  He looked tiny, especially with just his face showing and his big glasses.  Still Ike jumped onto the chair with him.  The seat was warm so clearly Aether had just been cuddling him until he got up to greet Ike and Mist. “Hi!  I’m glad you’re awake!” 

“Thanks,” he said, tired but happy.  “I’m watching nature videos.” 

“Cool!”   

Aether trotted back in and gave Ike a dirty look for taking his spot.  He then jumped up on top of Ike, squishing him.  Ike laughed and Soren smiled.

Daddy walked in.  “IIIIIIIke, if you keep this up then you’re going to get sick!”
 

“I don’t care,” Ike said again.   

“I’ve given up on arguing,” Soren said, yawning.  “This is a nature video about hippos.  They’re actually pretty mean.” 

On screen there was a hippo using its tail to make its poop go everywhere.  This made Ike laugh hysterically.  He wanted Soren to be healthy, but all this cuddling was fantabulous.

The day Soren went back to school was a whole week later.  Everyone was super happy to see him, which made Ike happy and made Soren blush most of the day.  Ike still got happy when people were super nice to Soren.  Everyone should be happy to see Soren! 

Unfortunately, he started to feel tired as the day went on.  This was weird because Ike was never tired until he took his bedtime gummies, and even then he might not be tired.  Plus he felt a little cold, so he put on his sweatshirt (that was super cool because it had pictures of elephants on it).  He tried super duper hard to pay attention to school stuff but it was hard! 

And then there was the finishing blow of “Does anyone want to play heads up four up while we wait to go home?”

Ike faceplanted into his desk before sitting back up.  He wanted to argue that the game might get Soren sick, but he was way too tired.  Fine!  He would try to play!  Just to prove that the game was evil and stupid.  If someone else got sick he could say “I told you so.”

Boyd, Mia, Lethe and Lyre got up at the front of the class.  Miss Titania gave the directions and everyone put their heads down.  Ike hoped no one would pick him, but someone did.  It was a hard poke, but that could be anyone. 

He, Soren, Elincia and Geoffrey all stood up when called.  “All right, Soren, who do you think picked you?”

“Boyd,” said Soren.  Boyd stomped his foot and marched to his seat with anger, so Soren walked to the front.  How did he always know?!

“Okay, Elincia?”

“Lyre?” she guessed.  Lyre shook her head no.  Elincia shrugged and sat. 

“Geoffrey?”

“Lethe?”

“Grr.”  She flipped her tail and went to sit. 

Okay!  So time for Ike to get out his smartness on.  It had to be Mia or Lyre.  He took a few deep breaths before announcing, “Mia!”

“Nope!” said Mia.

Ike was just DONE.  He was filled with rage.  Anger.  Hatred.  He sat down and put his head down, thumbs hidden.  He ignored everyone and everything so he could stew in his hate. 

He was kind of surprised when he heard Daddy’s voice.  “And here we are again.  If he’s napping he must be in a bad way.” 

“He fell asleep during his nonviolent protest against heads-up-four-up,” Miss Titania agreed.  “Soren had a panic attack and so he’s in the ES room.  He should be back soon.” 

“It’s probably not good that they’re so attached, but dang if it isn’t cute.  Is that girl still bullying Soren?” 

“No, not at all.  They’re friends now.  Same love of roasting annoying people.”   

“Ha!  I love watching Soren come out of his shell.  I don’t approve of Ike’s methods, but I’m glad he stood up for him.  Ah, Soren, welcome back.’
 

“I’m so sorry!  He’s sick and it’s all my fault!” Soren sounded distressed.  Ike wanted to argue, but he was so very tired.  “Tell me what you need me to do!” 

“Go get your coats and book bags please,” said Daddy.  “Oh my gosh he’s so cute.” 

“He is!” Miss Titania agreed.

Seconds later Daddy got Ike’s coat on.  Ike could barely keep his eyes open but he tried to help.  Then he felt Daddy pick him up.  “Thank you, Soren.  And don’t feel bad, we told Ike this would happen if he hugged you all the time and he chose to do it.  Just like we did for you, we’ll let him rest and give him medicine and he’ll be just fine.  Thanks, Miss Titania.” 

“Of course.  I hope he feels better soon.” 

Ike fell back asleep as he felt himself carried out to the car. 

He woke up back in his bed.  His tummy hurt but he was still hungry, just not super hungry.  Thankfully Mama was there with chicken noodle soup and a cup of the purple medicine.  “I’m not taking medicine,” he said. 

“Yes you are,” she said, matter-of-fact.   

“I don’t wanna.” 

“Too bad.  A rule in this house is taking medicine when you’re sick.” 

Ike pouted.  He wanted to keep arguing, but Soren was with her, and to Ike’s surprise he was wearing an apron and a handkerchief on his head.  He was also standing on his toes and looking at Ike with a pleading expression.  “You have to take medicine or else you could die and that would be terrible!” 

Ike was shocked.  He didn’t wanna die!  So he took the medicine and drank it.  “Oh wow this is tasty!  Can I drink more?”
 

“No,” said Mama, taking the empty cup.  “My goodness, perhaps you should join me at the hospital and talk all of my patients into taking their medicine, Soren.” 

“I can’t ‘cause I gotta disinfect the house,” said Soren with resolve.  He then left. 

Mama chuckled.  “How do you feel, Ike?” 

“Just tired, and a little sick to my tummy,” Ike admitted, knowing to be honest.  “I’ll be okay.”  He yawned.   

Mama gave him a kiss on the forehead.  “I love you, baby.” 

“Not a baby.” 

“You’re MY baby.  Just not my babiest.”  Mama gave him another smooch.  “Do you want to sleep by yourself or with Aether?” 

He thought about it.  Sleeping with Aether was special, but kind of hard because he was in the top bunk which meant that someone had to pick Aether up and put him in, and he was a big dog.  “By myself is okay.  Unless you or Daddy wanna nap with me.” 

“Daddy is working, but once he is done with work, either he or I will come cuddle, how’s that?” 

Ike smiled.  “Good.”   

“And I won’t tell Mist and Soren you don’t want to cuddle with them,” she teased. 

“They could get sick!” he argued. 

 
“Very true.  So they wouldn’t be an option anyway.  And Soren is busy trying to kill every single germ in this house.”  She gave him a third smooch.  “Rest up, sweetling.” 

“Good night,” he agreed, closing his eyes and falling asleep.   

Ike got to stay home the whole week this time.   It was not super fun, but he was tired so he got to watch a lot of Avengers Assemble and picture himself as Captain America.  

Plus it was funny, because Soren made a new routine when he came home.  He put on an apron and a handkerchief on his head, mopped the floors and vacuumed and picked up toys and cleaned and folded laundry and sprayed everything with disinfectant.  And he did this every single day after school.  Daddy said he didn’t have to and Soren looked like he might cry, although he didn’t because Daddy said he could if he wanted to.  The whole house smelled like lemons.  Soren even managed to get Aether into a bath!  Granted Aether loved baths, but he was a dog bigger than Soren so it was pretty impressive.  A bath really brought out his curls. 

By the time Soren cleaned the whole house, Mama was usually home from work.  Soren would then follow her around like a duckling, helping to make dinner or prepare medicine for Ike.  After dinner he would clean up all the dishes and then do the schoolwork Ike had missed with him.   

This happened Monday, Tuesday, and most of Wednesday.  But his parents had enough, and on Wednesday after dinner Mama picked Soren up and took him to the couch for snuggles with Ike and Aether so Daddy could do the dishes instead.  “Honey, please,” Mama said calmly as she pet Soren’s head.  “You’ve made this house cleaner than my hospital.  I know you’re worried about Ike, but he’s going to be fine now.  He’s feeling better every day.” 

“I am!” Ike agreed from his blanket burrito.  “I could probably go back to school tomorrow!” 

“No,” said Mama and Soren.

“Would you like me to ask if Mr. Stefan can talk to you?” she asked softly.  Soren nodded, which Ike would have hated if he’d had more energy.  Mama pulled out her phone and texted.  

Minutes later it lit up with a video call.  “Hello Soren,” said STUPID STEFAN.  “What’s wrong?”

Soren bit his lower lip then looked to Mama.  “He’s feeling a lot of big emotions because of Ike getting sick,” Mama explained.  “He’s deep-cleaned the whole house top to bottom three times.  Now I’m holding him here and his heart is beating very hard.”

“Hmmm… Well, we have talked about how cleaning is a good way to calm when anxious, but yes it sounds like you’ve taken it too far.  Go figure.”  He chuckled, and this made Soren giggle a little bit.  “So, what exactly is making you so nervous?”

“Um…”  Soren looked over at Ike and then at STUPID STEFAN.  “He’s been sick for three days and he’s not getting better and if he dies it’ll be all my fault and they’ll kick me out and everybody will hate me and I’ll be all alone and I don’t want any of that I want Ike to be safe and I don’t want him to die because of me and I don’t want to get kicked out and I don’t want everyone to hate me and I don’t want to be alone!”  He said this all in a rush, kind of like the way he talked quickly about stuff he finds cool like animals, but obviously without any happiness.

“Oh honey.”  Mama said, hugging him tightly.  “I’m a doctor, you know that, and Ike isn’t going to die and it wouldn’t be your fault if he did.  It would be either no one’s fault or his own fault, because if something is going to kill him it’s not going to be the flu, it’s going to be him doing something stupid like going on an adventure trying to stop a train.”

“Hey!” Ike argued.

STUPID STEFAN chimed in, “And you also do well with logic to fight your worries, so let’s talk about it - what would actually happen if Ike died?  Would they really kick you out?”

“Yes,” Soren asserted sadly.

“No,” said Mama gently.

“Sooooorrrrreeeeeeen.”  Ike dragged himself across the couch to hug him.  “I’m not dyin’ and you’re not gettin’ kicked out.  I feel way better than I did on Monday.  I just wanna snuggle.”

Soren never ever cried.  He would get this look like he wanted to, but he never did.  He had it now.  So Ike decided to make him his plushie and wrapped around him for cuddles, because the best way to get over this silly worrying was cuddles.  He could feel Soren’s heartbeat start to slow as he fell back asleep, happy.

Ike was SO BORED.  Staying home all day was lame.  Especially now that he felt better but nooooooo, Mama and Daddy said no going to school.  He wanted to go sooo baaad because he was boooooored. 

So Daddy got him a present.  It was the coolest thing Ike had ever seen.  A drum set. 

“This is how I got rid of lots of energy when I was little and couldn’t run around,” Daddy said as he showed it to Ike.  “Plus you might become good at it and can play it for school or something.”   

Ike sat down, curious.  He tested out the little feet things and the sticks and tapped on everything.  He started to tap to a beat and experiment, and Daddy left him alone to figure it out.   

It was pretty freaking awesome!  He rocked out, coming up with beats and patterns and just went nuts.  Aether howled pretty much the entire time, but Ike decided that he was singing along and that made it way better.   

The music only stopped when Soren and Mist walked into the living room to see what was going on.  Ike was shocked for a few reasons – how had they gotten here?  And it was already the end of the school day?!   

“THAT’S SO COOL!” Mist squealed.  “BUT IT’S SO LOUD!” 

“Sorry,” said Ike, although he had to agree that the drums were loud.  But he was actually sweating and that had been a lot of fun and way better than being bored!   

Soren left the room and then came back with a spray bottle that he used all over Ike’s drum set.  Ike sighed because he knew it was disinfectant.  In fact Soren resumed his after-school routine of cleaning the whole house shortly thereafter.  Ike just giggled and played his drums.   

Chapter Text

Ike wanted to hit something today.  Most specifically, he wanted to hit STUPID STEFAN, super hard.  

He’d arrived and taken Soren out of class.  This got a chorus of sadness from the kids, with Mia in particular talking about how he was so cool as a real swordmaster, and that she was pretty sure they were going to be archrivals some day.  While Ike was relieved it wasn’t Soren saying that, it still made Ike irritated.  Why would anyone like that jerk?!  Just because he was super cool?  Not as cool as Ike! So, he had to stage a jailbreak.  It was just a thing that needed to happen!  Soren deserved better than to spend so much time with STUPID STEFAN!

The good news is there was a substitute, a very old crow.  It was cool to see someone with wings, but not cool enough to justify Ike staying in the class when he could definitely sneak out.   Which was exactly what he did. 

He slunk through the hallways, listening as closely as possible to any sign of Soren or STUPID STEFAN.  He did find them in a room with the door open, so that was a relief.  He was going to go break him out, but he was curious too because Soren was talking.   

“Well, she did hit me twice because I tried to talk, but I stopped talking and she never hit me again.” 

“I am very sorry she hit you.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“It’s not okay.  That’s why she’s in jail.  Has anyone else ever hit you?” 

“No.  Mr. and Mrs. Greil are super nice, and so is Ike and Mist.  Aether nipped me but it was because he was giving me a lot of kisses.”  Soren giggled.  

“Hah, I bet!  That’s what dogs do.  So, are you ready to continue your story?” 

“Yes.  The next page might make me cry.”  Ike was pretty sure Soren didn’t know how to cry.

“That’s okay, there’s nothing wrong with crying.” 

“Well, it’s the day I met Ike.”   

“A very important day, indeed.” 

Now that he was involved, Ike went inside the room.  “Hi!  I’m here to rescue-“ He stopped as he saw what Soren was doing.  There was a bin of blue sand with a bunch of sea creatures in it that he was playing with while they talked!!!!  “That is so cool!”  He ran up to the table and sat by him so he could watch.  “Is that KINETIC SAND?!” 

Soren looked at him with surprise before giggling.  “Yes.” 

“Hi, Ike,” said STUPID STEFAN, sounding amused and exasperated.   

“I still hate you,” Ike assured him as he watched Soren dig.   Ike did want to rescue Soren, but kinetic sand was the coolest.  So first sand, then rescue. 

“I’m okay if he stays,” said Soren.  “This page in the story is about him, after all.”  He pushed the sand bin toward Ike and looked at his nicely-organized briefcase of art supplies before choosing a set of glitter pens.  There was a stack of papers with neat writing on them already.  The first page was already drawn too.  It was of a very sad Soren in a dirty house.  

Ike was torn between drawing too or playing with the sand.  He decided to be a good friend and pushed the bin aside and grabbed a paper and the crayons.  “I’ll draw too!” 

Soren started drawing a scene from the outside, showing Ike knocking on the door while looking at him, hiding in the corner behind the shelf.  Ike remembered that day vividly, but he sucked at drawing so he just drew a picture of him and Soren.  “Ma’am had left that day.  I didn’t know at the time, but I found out she worked at a gas station down the road.  I was trying to clean the house but I didn’t have any cleaning supplies.  Then I saw something moving in the backyard.  It was a boy.  I was scared because Ma’am said I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone ever and couldn’t let anyone in.  Plus I couldn’t talk.  But the boy ran up to the house and knocked on the back door.  I was so scared.” 

“You were scared and it made me sad,” Ike recalled.  “I thought I was being scary.” 

“You weren’t,” Soren assured him.  “You were very nice.  You brought me a cupcake.”  

“You ate the paper,” Ike said, remembering it with a giggle. 

Soren giggled too.  “I was really hungry!  I’d never eaten one before.” 

“Now you’ve eaten a ton!” Ike cheered.  “Cupcakes and cookies and ice cream and cake and brownies!” 

“Mrs. Greil is a great baker,” Soren agreed.  “So is Mr. Greil, actually.  Hmm…” He grabbed a second sheet and drew another scene, this time of Ike and his parents standing on Mean Lady’s porch.  “I was scared here, too.” 

“You were shaking,” Ike agreed, “But it was kinda scary, there was so much yelling.” 

“There was a folder for me in case anyone ever wanted me.  It had my birth certificate and a letter about my care.  Mrs. Greil told me my dad is very bad, but she didn’t say more.  Do you know the name Ashnard Reale?”   

STUPID STEFAN’s look was carefully blank.  “I’m sure Mrs. Greil will tell you about him when you’re a bit older, but I don’t know him.” 

“Okay.  So then Ike and I walked to his house and then Mrs. Greil helped me get into clean clothes and they cleaned me up.” 

“You smelled bad but it wasn’t your fault,” Ike said.  “I knew that.” 

“Ma’am had things in her house for cleaning but I wasn’t allowed to use them,” he recalled with a great scowl.  “Like I had to do her laundry but couldn’t do my laundry.  She had soaps and stuff and locked them in her bathroom.  So the house got messy and I was dirty.  It was very...”  He scowled more.  “I don’t know.” 

“Frustrating,” STUPID STEFAN supplied.  “That’s when you want to do something or fix something, but can’t.” 

Soren nodded.  “Yeah, that’s a good word for the feeling.  I was frustrated.  But now the Greils let me clean the whole house if I want to!” 

“My room has never been so clean,” said Ike with a giggle.   

Soren giggled too.  “Yeah it was really messy when I first got there!  But at least your bed was cozy.  And you’re funny to sleep with because you force cuddle.” 

“I force cuddle?” 

“Yep!  You wrap around me and don’t let me go when we sleep in the same bed.” 

Ike had no idea he did that.  “Huh.  Sorry.” 

Soren shook his head.  “I… I dunno how to say it.  But it felt nice.” 

“Am I right in that your Ma’am never touched you at all?” STUPID STEFAN asked softly.  Soren nodded.  “Then you were likely touch-starved, so you wanted that nice physical touch.  So it worked out well that Ike was a force-cuddler.” 

“Yes!  Thanks, Mr. Stefan.” 

“Of course!  I know sometimes these big emotions can be hard to name.  So, what came afterwards?”

Soren hummed.  “All sorts of stuff.  People taught me to talk, how to play, how to use cleaning supplies, how to make friends, how to train a dog…”

“How to eat,” Ike supplied.

“How to eat,” he agreed.  “And what it was like outside.  It was just like…” He drew a whirl on the page.  “This.”

“I liked getting stickers,” Ike recalled.

Soren tilted his head and looked at the tornado he’d drawn.  “My magic does that sometimes.  Whirls like that.”

“That’s called a tornado,” Ike said, finding it kind of funny that his best friend genius didn’t know what a tornado was.  

“Oh, cool.”

“You are definitely going to be an archsage some day,” STUPID STEFAN said with a bit of whimsy.  “So then we come to the first day of school.”

“I was super afraid but it seems silly now.  I’m way smarter than anyone else in that class.”

“Hey!!!”

“You are very smart,” STUPID STEFAN said.   

“Super smart,” Ike interrupted because he did not need for STUPID STEFAN to flatter HIS boyfriend better than he could, thanks.   Soren blushed, pleased.  “Can I read it?”  He hesitated, but nodded.

My name is Soren Kurth Reale.  I lived with Ma’am for five years.  She is not my mama.  She was not nice to me.  My house was dirty and I didn’t get food.  She yelled at me a lot even when I did nothing wrong.  I do not like Ma’am. 

One day I met Ike.  He lived next door.  I was very scared but he was very nice.  He gave me a cupcake.  It was tasty! 

One day Ike, his mama and his daddy rescued me. Ma’am went to jail. 

I live with Ike, Mr. Greil, Mrs. Greil, Mist, and Aether.  Mr. Greil is a contractor.  Mrs. Greil is actually Dr. Greil.  Aether is a dog.  He is called a goldendoodle.  They are all very nice.   

“EI therapists” helped me learn to talk, play and eat.   

I played with Ike and his friends all summer.  His friends are nice and silly.  Ike is my best friend. 

In September I started school.  I was very scared, but I am very good at school.  I like to read, write, do math, and draw.  My teacher is Miss Titania.  She is very nice. 

In November I met Mr. Stefan.  He is my mobile therapist.  He helps me talk about how I feel, and about Ma’am. He taught me that Ma’am was not nice but it was not my fault.

On Valentine’s Day, Ike and I asked each other to be boyfriends.  He got me a manatee.  I like manatees.  Now Ike is my boyfriend.  I love him a lot! 

Ike blushed at his inclusion in the story.  He was happy he made Soren happy!  Although the story was still kinda sad.  He wanted to go in and cross out every mention of “Ma’am” and replace it with “Mean Lady,” but frankly he wasn’t sure how to spell it and anyway it wasn’t HIS story.  But he definitely could be a “mobile therapist” because he could tell Soren that his being treated meanly wasn’t his fault.  STUPID STEFAN was just a waste of time, yay!

“We’re so cute!” Ike exclaimed as Soren’s vision of the meeting day came to life.  It made his crayon picture of them seem kinda bad, but he was kinda used to it because everything Soren drew was better than what he could draw.  “Oh!  Can you add a page?” Soren looked at him, so he continued, “I think we need a page where you talk about the first time you had Halloween and Christmas!”

STUPID STEFAN snickered.  “You mean how he almost shot Santa Claus?”

Ike had to laugh because yeah, it was pretty funny.  Soren pouted. “I’m sorry, but the idea of a man breaking into your house in the middle of the night is not cool!” he protested.  “I wish someone would have just said he wasn’t-”

“Well it turned out okay and now it’s a cute story,” STUPID STEFAN interrupted.  Ike wasn’t sure what Soren had been about to say.  “The kind that you can tell any kids you have someday.  We have about five more minutes before we have to go back to class.”

They buckled down and finished drawing, so now Soren’s book had two pages completely done.  They looked great!  Then they walked back to class together with STUPID STEFAN.  The substitute didn’t notice that Ike had left, which made him feel cool like he’d been a dramatic ninja.  What a great day.

Ike had the best idea ever that he came up with after they got home from school that day.  Soren usually took a nap, so Ike got comfortable with drawing paper and crayons and he drew his own page in the Soren Book!  He even took his time and sounded out all the words. 

Soren iz the coolest!  He iz good at all sorts of skool stuff!  He can uze majic!  Hez pretty!  I keep him safe!  I luv him!

Then Ike drew a picture of him and Soren together with hearts around it.  And he, giggling, stuck it in the binder that had the other story pages of his book.  Hopefully he would be surprised and like it!!!!!

About a week later, he was surprised when Soren came into class from his therapy and he was wibbling.  Ike was super worried, but then Soren hugged him tightly.  Thankfully they were lining up to go get lunch so he didn’t interrupt anything.

“Thank you,” he said.  “I found your page.”

Page?  Ike had to take a few seconds.  Oh!  Right!  “You liked it?” he asked, excited.

Soren nodded big time.  Ike was thrilled.  He would draw even more pictures for him from now on! 

Chapter Text

Ike didn’t like indoor recess very much.  For one thing, there was no running in the classroom as one of the rules and he had to follow the rules.  But he wanted to run!!  Thankfully he could do that in gym, which was the special today.  But still.  There was some cool stuff in the classroom at least, like drawing stuff and board games and action figures and dolls and the magnet tiles and different kinds of blocks and Miss Titania got a mini trampoline that Ike could jump on.  But then one day she disrupted the classroom by bringing in marble runs.  

Marble runs were super cool, in theory.  You put pieces together in any order you wanted and then the marble would follow the path, but you had to be careful or else your marble would get stuck or just fall onto the floor straight down.  You had to be patient and careful.  But Ike wasn’t patient or careful, so he was pretty awful at the marble runs and gave up pretty fast. 

“Wanna play super heroes with me?” he asked as Soren stared at the new bin with something like awe.  

“No,” he said, looking it over slowly.  Ike pouted, but Soren didn’t care.  He took out piece after piece from the toy bin, looking at how they clicked together.  Ike felt like Soren was creating Ike’s demise with every single whirlpool piece.  

This was so! Boring!!!!

Soren put together tracks that spanned across the carpet, and Ike rolled on that carpet over and over as a way to pass the time.  “Hurry uuuuuup!”

Miss Titania came over, smiling broadly.  “I see you like the marble run, Soren!”  Soren nodded.  “Great!  Clean up is in five minutes.”  She walked off, and Soren scowled just a little, but Ike let out a sigh of relief.  So this recess was a waste, but they’d be back to normal tomorrow!

The class was dismissed to indoor recess the next day, and Ike watched in dismay as Soren walked to the track bin, dumping all the items out and beginning to construct the same thing as yesterday.  Today he was more methodical and efficient, putting what he’d made yesterday together in under five minutes.  The others gathered around to watch too, which Ike found even MORE annoying. Not only was everyone encouraging Soren to ignore Ike, but now they were helping him!!   

“You could put this piece here,” said Geoffrey, holding one up to him. 

“Hmmmm…”. Soren took it and added it on.   

“How about this?” Boyd added a piece without asking, and the entire structure came tumbling down.  Soren deeply sighed and started rebuilding even as Boyd let out a little, “Oops, sorry.” 

But Ike now had the best idea!  He could do the same thing – help, but sabotage.  The stupid marbles would not defeat him in the noble battle to secure Soren’s undivided attention.  But he had to be smart about it.  He couldn’t just destroy the path all the time – he’d have to do it sparingly enough to be beyond suspicion.  Eventually Soren would stop wanting to play with the marbles and everything would be back to normal.   

So Ike did pushups as Soren worked on the marbles, and he plotted out his amazing plan, but then Miss Titania ruined everything by saying “It’s time to clean up, but here Soren why don’t we put that on the shelf?” 

On the shelf!?  Only the most amazing of projects got put on the shelf!  It was the most special place.  The class was in awe of Soren, and Soren himself was blushing terribly.  Kids helped move the track to the shelf, where it barely fit because it was so long and dramatic.  Ike hated it.   This made everything even harder because now everyone could see the progress and would know if Ike messed it up, even if it was an accident (which it wouldn’t be!).   

Okay, new plan!  He had to hope Soren would get bored.  There was only so much he could do, after all, only so many combinations that would work, and surely this wouldn’t be his indoor recess fate forever.   

Except the next day, Miss Titania brought in a whole box and even more marble runs.   

Over the next two weeks,  Soren incorporated the new pieces, and she kept bringing more and beaming with delight when he would smile and thank her, and he would add them, and then she would bring more, and it kept going forever and ever, wrapping around the classroom!  Mr. Ranulf would thank Miss Titania too and bring in fancy sparkly marbles.  No one else was touching it anymore, just watching Soren and cheering him on as he created a winding path.   

STUPID STEFAN also said it was a great idea and gave Soren a high-five when the marbles successfully traveled around the room, and to Ike that was the last straw.   

The marble track needed to go . 

They had outdoor recess for the first time in a long time, and it was great.  Ike was so relieved that he could now do his plan!  He left his hat in the room “accidentally”, and so when he was outside he asked if he could go back in to get it.  Miss Titania said yes and he ran back in to the classroom.  He before he grabbed his hat he found himself face to face, alone, with the track.   Ike stared at it with intensity, trying his absolute best to destroy it with his mind.  But sadly he was not really a super hero, so the tracks remained undestroyed.   

But he had a choice.  Did he get his Soren back by knocking down the tracks?  Or did he accept that Soren loved something other than him?   

“Gosh I’m happy for any excuse to come inside,” said Miss Titania, startling Ike.  “Here’s your hat.  Oh, why are you over there?  What’s the hold-up?” 

“Oh, um.”  Ike flinched.   

She chuckled, walking in to stand next to him.  “You’re sad that Soren spends so much time on the marble tracks, aren’t you?” 

He nodded.  “They’re super boring and I wanna play with him.” 

“What would happen if you knocked them down?” 

Ike thought about it.  “Soren would come play with me again.” 

“Hmm…. You know, his old mama would never let him have anything fun.” 

Ike scowled at the reminder of Mean Lady.  “Yeah but she’s mean and in jail.” 

“Exactly.  Because of her, Soren is used to things he likes being destroyed so he can’t have them, or being told he’s not good enough to have things.  So if you destroyed his stuff, you’re right, he would just come play with you again… and think that he deserves to have everything he likes taken away.”  Ike gasped in horror.  “What do you think SHOULD happen if you ruined his marble tracks?” 

He thought about it more.  He pictured Soren giving him a death glare and rebuilding.  Or, even worse, he pictured Soren tearing up, and Ike almost teared up too!  “He SHOULD be super mad at me and maybe even cry!” 

“I think so, too.  So, do we want that for Soren?” 

“No way!  I don’t wanna be like Mean Lady and I want Soren to be happy and have fun and have cool stuff!”  Ike was so vehement that he actually did get tears in his eyes.  “I’m gonna protect his marbles and make sure he never loses them and that his track stays up and happy!” 

Miss Titania smiled brightly at him.  “Good.  That’s being a very good friend and,” she grinned a little mischievously, “a good booooooyfriiiiiiiiiiend.” 

Ike grinned back.  “Yeah!  I’m gonna be the best boyfriend ever, I promised him!  Then we’re gonna get married when we grow up.” 

She reached over and ruffled his hair before putting his hat on his head.  “You’re a good kid, Ike.  I’m glad to have you in my first kindergarten class.” 

Ike beamed up at her as they walked back to the playground.  “You’re an awesome babysitter and teacher!  Look, I lost a tooth!”  He excitedly showed off a missing front tooth, no longer worrying about his vendetta against the marble tracks.   

  Ike tried really, really hard in the next week to not be jealous of the marbles.  He had Soren’s attention and focus for literally every time of the day except for the 30 minutes of recess and his therapies.  So it wasn’t that big of a deal that he didn’t want to play with him for recess.  Ike had other friends, after all!   

“Quit staring at me,” Soren told Ike severely, because Ike was laying on his stomach kicking his legs and watching Soren build.   

“But I’m waiting for you to come play with me,” Ike explained even though he had explained it to him before.   Just because he had other friends and had all of Soren’s attention all the rest of the day didn’t mean he didn’t still want his attention all day.  It just meant he had no right to destroy the marble run.

“I’m not going to,” said Soren, which is what he had said the last time too.  “I want my tracks to go around the entire room twice.” 

Ike sighed.  “That’ll take a whole other year forever!  Could I maybe help you?”  He reached toward a piece, and Soren batted his hand away.  

“No.” 

“Awww maaaan.” 

Surprisingly, STUPID STEFAN was in the room today instead of taking Soren out of class.  Which was AWESOME because it meant more Soren time, but also ANNOYING because STUPID STEFAN was among the worst.  Although Ike would soon learn that he wasn’t the absolute worst. 

“You could let him help,” STUPID STEFAN pointed out to Soren, amused, “It’s the first time he’s offered.” 

“True, I could,” Soren agreed, “But he might mess it up.” 

“Hey!” Ike glared at him.  “I wouldn’t!  Well, not on purpose.”  Not anymore, anyway.

Soren tested the marble, which nicely went down the path.  “I can do this all by myself.” 

“You can,” STUPID STEFAN agreed.  “You are very good at this.”  Soren blushed, which made Ike mad.   

“You ARE very good at this,” Ike said pointedly, looking at Soren, “Way better than anyone else in the whole school!  The whole WORLD, I bet!   I think you’re way better than STUPID STEFAN does.”

“You have no idea how funny I find it that I somehow have beef with a five-year-old,” STUPID STEFAN said wryly.

Ike turned to give him his best death glare.  He was about to challenge him to a duel when another kid came in, an older kid with red hair that Ike didn’t know but he instantly disliked.  He was carrying a note for Miss Titania.  But, upon seeing Miss Titania was on her computer, the boy smirked and reached out and slapped a piece of the tracks .  Then he ran out, laughing.  

Like disaster dominoes the whole structure began to crumble, collapsing onto itself.  The room was filled with the sound of breaking pieces and screams of surprise, but there was no saving it.  It took only a minute until the entire track was destroyed.   

Ike was surprised at how horrible he felt.  After all, a mere week ago he’d wanted to do the same thing.  But now that it actually happened, and he got to see the way Soren shut down, his lower lip wibbling?  Ike was furious .  He raced out of the classroom, pursuing the redhead boy with all the strength he had, zooming through the hallway in blatant disregard for the rules.  No running?  Too bad!  

The boy heard him coming and turned, smirking.  “Aww, are you gonna cr- urk!” 

The urk was because Ike had jumped up to tackle him, elbow at his neck to choke him and knock him to the ground.  He started punching, because he was so mad.  “YOU MADE MY BOYFRIEND CRY!” Ike yelled as he hit, ignoring the retaliatory hits from the older kid, “NOW I’M GONNA MAKE YOU CRY!” 

He was lifted off the boy, his arms and legs flailing as he tried to get loose.  But Miss Titania was super strong and he was effectively captured.  “Shinon!  I can’t believe you just did that!” 

“It was funny!” the boy protested as he scrambled to his feet.  He was not as destroyed as Ike would have liked, but he was gonna have a black eye.   

“We’re going to the principal’s,” Miss Titania asserted.  “Ike, get back to class before you have to come too.”  She was using a Serious Voice very similar to his dad’s, so Ike wisely fled back to class.  He had red welts all over but he didn’t feel them.   

To his surprise, the class had rallied to clean up the marble tracks.  Even Soren, who looked blank.  Ike remembered what Miss Titania said, about Soren feeling like he wasn’t allowed to have cool stuff.  So he ran over to him and pulled him to his feet, hugging him tight.  “I punched him for you,” he said, “‘cause you’re allowed to have fun stuff and it’s not fair he ruined it.” 

Soren blinked in surprise.  “Oh.” 

“Okay?  I mean I kinda wanted to do it too because I love you and wanted you to play with me and not the marble tracks, but I didn’t because it made you happy and I want you to be happy!”   

“Oh,” said Soren again.  “I can stop if you want me to.” 

“Nooooooo.”   

“He’s right,” STUPID STEFAN said quietly, “Remember our lessons?  You’re allowed to have fun things.  This boy was just being a jerk.”

“Ooo that’s a bad word!” Lyre crooned before giggling.  This turned into STUPID STEFAN having to reassure everyone that ‘jerk’ wasn’t a nice word but it also wasn’t a bad word as everyone cleaned up.  They ended up with like a million bins filled with pieces, but the room was all cleaned up by the time Miss Titania came back.  

“Thank you, everyone,” she said, smiling, “Everyone clips up for being great helpers.”  She still seemed a little sad, but it was still kinda sad. 

“Who was it that knocked over everything?” Mia asked, “Because I think he should be my new archrival!”  This got a chorus of agreements.  Miss Titania and STUPID STEFAN both smiled at this.

“His name is Shinon,” Ike reported, “And I’m gonna hate him forever.”  This got another chorus of agreements.

“Let’s all calm down and get back to work,” she said with a chuckle.  She tried to redirect them, but Ike remained focused.  Mia was absolutely right - Shinon deserved to be his archrival!  He hated him more than he even hated STUPID STEFAN, and that was saying something!

The next day saw Soren start to rebuild his marble tracks, and Ike decided to cheer him on this time.

Chapter Text

Ike was super excited today.  It was almost the end of the school year, and they were going on a field trip!!!   All of kindergarten was going to the nearby zoo and aquarium.  Ike had gone there as a baby but never since and he definitely didn’t remember it.  Plus it was cool to see the kids in the other kindergarten class since they didn’t have much overlap.  

So the kids were split between Miss Titania, Mr. Danved (the other kindergarten teacher), Mr. Ranulf, and Ms. Laura who was a student teacher.  Soren was put in Mr. Ranulf’s group and Ike insisted on being his partner, so Ike was also in Mr. Ranulf’s group.  This group also had Lethe and Lyre, and two girls named Marcia and Jill, and a boy named Mordy who was also a kitty.  

Ike had never been on a bus before, so he ran on immediately so he could run up and down the aisle.  It was crazy how many seats there were!  He of course came back up and sat in the very front seat.  Then he felt bad because he looked out the window and saw Soren was standing there looking worried as other kids passed him to get on.  He was about to pull down the window to encourage him to come up, except STUPID STEFAN was there?!?

“What’s he doing here?” Ike demanded.

He’d missed Mr. Ranulf was already on the bus, so he was a little surprised to hear his laughter from a few seats back.  “He’s helping me with my flight risks.”

“Yeah well he should run away,” Ike said bitterly, watching as STUPID STEFAN cajoled Soren onto the bus by holding his hand.  

“Tell us how you really feel, Ike,” said Mr. Ranulf with a snicker.

Soren did get on the bus but he was shaking as he got into the seat with Ike.  Ike however was now mad.  “You can’t hold hands with anyone else, it’s against the contract,” he reminded him.

Before he could answer, STUPID STEFAN, who had gotten on the bus after, said, “No Ike, it’s not safe to not hold hands with an adult outside if needed.”  Ike glared at him, so he continued, “Also Soren has never been on a bus and needed a little encouragement.”

“That’s my job, not yours!” Ike argued.

“You were busy running up and down the aisle,” Mr. Ranulf pointed out.

Oh, right.  “I woulda come back,” he said, feeling embarrassed.  

“The point is, he wasn’t cheating on you,” STUPID STEFAN said with a snicker.  Ike glared at him harder, and he laughed.

Then Soren looked at Ike with a hurt scowl, before he moved to another seat.  

Ike gasped.  “What’re you doing?”

“I’m mad at you and removing myself from the situation,” he said primly.

“It’s nice one of you listens to my lessons,” said Mr. Ranulf with a wistful smile.

Ike was devastated.  “I’m sorry,” he said. 

“For what?” Soren asked pointedly. 

“For makin’ you mad.” 

“What did you do that made me mad?”  

“Uh…. I didn’t help you?” 

Soren sighed and shook his head no, turning to look out the window. 

Ike felt prickles in his chest as he looked out his own window.  This was awful.  He was getting dumped, he just knew it.  What was he wrong about?  Soren held the hand of STUPID STEFAN and that was against the rules of their couple’s contract.  He KNEW Soren liked STUPID STEFAN more than he liked him, this just proved it – 

STUPID STEFAN moved to sit in the seat with Ike.   

Ike glared at him. 

“I know you don’t like me…. Do you think I’m going to steal him away from you?” he asked calmly.  “Or… that Soren would choose me over you?”  Ike winced.  “Ah ha.  That is… so very wrong.  First of all, I am old enough to be your grandpa.”  Woah, he sure didn’t look it.  “Second, I am just his therapist, I’m not his friend like you are.  He adores you more than anything.  That’s why I invite you to our sessions.  That and you don’t care about race and that’s a wonderful thing.” 

Ike huffed and looked away.  “STUPID STEFAN,” he muttered.  

“Anyway, Soren is mad at you because you’re being so jealous for no reason,” he explained.  “So you’ll want to apologize and trust him more.” 

“Aw c’mon, don’t give him the answers!” Mr. Ranulf said with a grin.  “I’m enjoying the soap opera.  Days of Our Kindergarten.  As the School Turns.”  

Ike turned and glared at Mr. Ranulf too.  STUPID STEFAN snickered and moved back to his own seat.  Ike turned to look at Soren, who was looking at him with anger before he looked out the window to pretend he hadn’t been.  Ike sighed and moved to his seat.  At this point the bus started moving and they were told no more moving, which made Ike sad because he’d sacrificed his window seat, but it was worth it.  “I’m sorry Soren,” he said sadly, “It’s just ‘cause I don’t like that you like STUPID STEFAN more than me but I’ll be able to get over it I promise.” 

Soren gave him a Look.  “Sure, even though I’m dating you and spend all my time with you and asked you to be my Valentine, I like Mr. Stefan more.  Sure.”  Ike felt crestfallen.  “Ike, of course I like you more!” 

Ike now felt delighted.  “Even more than STUPID STEFAN?” 

“Yes.” 

“And Aether?” He asked with more worry, because he couldn’t judge Soren for liking his dog more. 

Soren sighed.  “Silly Ike, I love you most of anyone ever.” 

Ike hugged him tightly.  “I love you most of anyone ever too!”  Soren sighed again but petted his hair.   

“Twu wuv,” said Mr. Ranulf.  Mr. Stefan laughed.  Ike happily ignored them both. 

The zoo was crowded and filled with people, and Ike was super excited.  He happily held Soren’s hand both for safety and for keeping him calm because Soren didn’t like crowds.   The only problem was that Ike wanted to see EVERYTHING and the others were super slow.  So annoying!  Like why was he supposed to care about horses even if they did have stripes?  He knew his favorite animals were at this zoo and he WANTED TO GO SEE THEM.  But sadly Mr. Ranulf was the boss, and his group had a lot of kids who liked to argue.  Lethe and Jill in particular got into a LOT of fights. 

“I don’t WANT to see more CATS,” said Jill firmly as they stood outside the jaguar exhibit.  Lethe hissed at her.  “I get enuffa that at school.”  Then she paused when she saw Mordy looked sad.  “Except you.” 

Mr. Ranulf gently tapped her shoulder with his tail and pointed it toward Soren, who was plastered to the glass to stare at the jaguars.  Jill huffed and crossed her arms before stomping off to the nearest bench to sit.  The jaguars were swimming so it was super cool, even Ike could admit it. 

“So Soren, why are jaguars your favorite?” Mr. Ranulf asked. 

“Tigers are better,” said Mordy quietly, with a giggle.

“Because everyone forgets ‘em because they think they’re just leopards but they’re bigger and stronger and have the greatest bite force of any of the kitties and they use a bite to the head which is different than the others and they like to swim and they eat caiman and they live in the Amazon and-” 

“Okay okay!” Mr. Ranulf laughed.  “That’s awesome though.  You’re very smart.”  Soren blushed heavily. 

Ike nodded big time.  “He really is!” he cheered.  “And it’s all animals too, he knows all sorts of stuff about all of the animals!” 

“Do you want to study animals when you grow up?” Mr. Ranulf asked. 

“Oh, no,” Soren said, “I wanna be a doctor like Mrs. Greil.” 

“Awwwww,” said Ike and Mr. Ranulf.   

“Studying animals would be cooler,” said Lethe, “but doctors are cool too.  I’m gonna be the best warrior ever when I grow up.” 

Mr. Ranulf gently smacked her in the face with his tail.  “Not the greatest,” he said with a cheeky grin, “because I’m there.”  She stuck her tongue out at him.  Lyre was giggling.  “And so are the lions, I guuueeessssss.” 

“I’m gonna be a HERO!” Ike declared with joy. 

This made the others laugh for some reason.  “We all knew that,” said Lyre with more giggles.   

“You do say it a lot,” Lethe agreed. 

“Well, that will go well with Soren the doctor,” Mr. Ranulf pointed out.   

“CAN WE PLEASE GO SEE THE RHINOS NOW?” Ike asked, having been VERY patient.   

The group began the walk to the rhinos.  Ike asked Soren for facts and he rattled off a bunch of them, which made Ike happy.  Today was great! 

After having seen all the animals he liked, Ike was ready to be done but sadly they had to do the aquarium too.  The whole group came together again. 

His opinion changed as they walked in.  It was a HUGE AQUARIUM and they were in a tunnel and the aquarium was over them and —— 

There was a person in the water, which was cool.  And the person was swimming with… a gray floaty potato. 

“Look everyone!” Said Miss Titania, pointing up.  “That’s her!  That’s Princess Bubbles!” 

Her entire class gasped and watched in awe as the person led a small manatee to the glass.  Ike was vibrating with excitement.  Princess Bubbles was real, and super cute!!!! He ran up to the glass, dragging Soren along.  Princess Bubbles brushed the glass, and Ike gasped.   

As they swam away, Ike noticed Soren was crying.  He gave him a hug immediately.  “What’s wrong?” 

“I have so much happiness and I don’t know what to do with it,” Soren said through tears.   

“The best problem ever,” Ike agreed, brimming with happiness too. 

Chapter Text

Ike walked into the bar, trying to hide his nerves.  Everyone present looked up at him, so he just stoically nodded as he went up to the server.  “I’d like some juice,” he said.

The woman running the bar was demure, but she got him some juice.  “Who’re you?  We don’t get strangers around here none.”

“I’m Ike.  I’m a soldier, from the war.  The good side.”

“Well you’ll wanna be careful,” the lady said.  

“I’m well aware, miss.”  It was scary, but he wasn’t gonna show that.    

“Hey you!”  A man with green hair stood and looked at him menacingly.  “Your kind ain’t welcome ‘round here!  This here’s the town of the bad side!”

“I don’t want no trouble,” Ike said.

“No fightin’ in my bar,” said the tender.  “I’m Nephenee, and this here’s Boyd.  He means well.”

“I got my eye on you,” said Boyd.  

The door burst open, and three people came in.  Two were pretty obviously twins, and they were escorting a woman with green hair.  “We got bigger problems than the war!” said the girl.  “We found this lady and she has no memory!”

“And there are zombies all over outside!” the man agreed.

(Everyone looked at Geoffrey.

“What?” he said, totally innocent.

“Zombies?” Nephenee asked, even as Ike exclaimed, “I love it!”

“Sure, why not,” said Boyd with giggles.

“I have to redo my entire character,” Soren said petulantly, but he sat and began to erase stuff.  He was the only one to write his stuff down.  

Everyone got a few minutes to plan before…)

Boyd looked to Ike.  “You’re off the hook, do-gooder, so long as you help with the zombies.”

Ike drew his sword.  “Of course!”

“Braaaaaains!” said a zombie as it shambled inside.  It had once been a woman, but now it was a foul and evil undead.  Soon a million zombies came in too!!  The twins got their escortee into a corner of the bar before joining Ike, Boyd and Nephenee in fighting off the zombies.  For lesser warriors, the battle would have been impossible, but for these great heroes it was easy, and soon the zombies were driven back.  “Braaaaains,” said the leader zombie with sadness as it escaped in the chaos.

“The zombies trashed my bar! Now I have no place to live!”  Nephenee looked very sad as she put away her mighty lance.  

“We can’t stay here anyway,” said the man.  “My name is Geoffrey, and this is my twin sister Lucia.  We’re zombie hunters.  And this is…”  He looked to the girl they had rescued.

She stood up as if from a faint.  “I do not know my name,” she said with great sorrow.  “Nor do I know anything else!  I am deeply sorry!”

“Then I guess we have to give you a name for now,” said Lucia.  “How about we just call you Elincia?”

Elincia nodded.  “Okay, thank you!  I hope I can be helpful, and thank you for taking care of me!”

“So what do we do now?” Ike asked.  “I’ll lead us but I don’t know where to go.”

“We need to find a cure for the zombies,” said Lucia.  “So we need to find… uh… the head scientist place.  Surely they’ll know what to do!”

“All right!  Follow me!”  Ike marched from the empty bar, leading his group of heroes through the woods.  

“Hold on!” called another woman, who was assisting a girl who was probably her sister.  “My name is Lethe and this is my sister Lyre, and she’s patient zero!”

“Gasp!” said Nephenee.

“What does that mean?” Boyd asked.

“It means she was the very first person to get the zombie sickness,” Lethe explained.  “She hasn’t turned yet but she’s the base of it all!”

“It huuuurts,” mourned Lyre, “I just… want to eat brains…  No!  I must resist!”

“So we really want to take her to the scientist place,” Geoffrey said.  “They might use her to get a cure.”

“Stop right there!”  Standing on a nearby hill was another woman, flanked by the lead zombie from earlier.  “You will hand over the woman with no memory and the patient zero to me!  I am the evil mage who started the zombies!”

“Braaaaains,” said the zombie with great excitement.

“Never, you evil witch!” Geoffrey declared, standing in front of Elincia.  

“We won’t turn over anyone to you!” Ike agreed with a steely glare.  He also drew his sword.  

“Then you will face my zombies!  There are a billion of them now!  Attack, my zombies!”  She let out an impressive evil cackle.  

“Braaaaaaaaaaaaains!”  With that mighty cry, the zombies began to attack!  Ike valiantly fought them off, as did the other heroes.  He was pleasantly surprised how everyone in this group was good at fighting.  Even Elincia had a sword.  Lyre was the only one not fighting, because she was obviously trying to not join the zombies.  It was very sad and dramatic.

“There are too many of them!” Nephenee cried.

“The scientist place is right over there!” Boyd exclaimed, pointing to a nearby building.

“Retreat!” Ike ordered, and the group ran to this place for safety.

The building was calm and cool, and they were greeted by a large friendly dog.  It made Ike feel relief that there was something normal in this scary world.

“Who are you?” demanded a man with very smart-looking glasses and a clipboard.  “And how did you get past the guard beast?”

The guard beast licked Ike’s cheek.  “I think he knows we’re good people,” said Ike happily.

“Hmm.  Well, I am Dr. Soren, and I am the lead scientist at the Center for Disease Control,” he said.  “I am currently the only doctor still alive and am researching the zombie virus.”

“Well we are two soldiers,” Boyd pointed to himself and Ike, “a bartender,” to Nephenee, “two zombie hunters,” to Geoffrey and Lucia, “a lady with no memory,” to Elincia, “and patient zero and her big sister.” 

“We are also being hunted by the lady who created the zombies, and the lead zombie,” said Lethe.  She looked back to where they came from, and in fact the zombie and lady were standing on the porch.

“Ah yes, that’s Calill, a former doctor who went rogue and is trying to destroy the world with her evil zombies,” said Soren with derision.  “Highly unethical.  And the zombie leader used to be an assistant named Mia before she was so evilly corrupted.  So, I can’t tell you anything about the amnesiac, but I could use the patient zero to make a zombie cure.”

“Will it kill her?” Lethe demanded firmly, ears pinning back.

“Braaaaains,” Lyre said with great pain.  "Noooo... no brains..."

“Yes,” said Soren.   “And it will take time, during which we will likely be overrun by zombies.”

The glass door to the room opened just slightly.  “Braaaains,” said the zombie with great enthusiasm.  The zombie then squealed in joy when the guard beast approached and began to lick her.

“You won’t hurt my sister!” Lethe declared.  

“I will die for the good of the world,” said Lyre with great drama.  “Please, sister.  Let me die to save the world!”

“Never!”

“Wait!” Elincia exclaimed.  “The great amount of scary things going on just made me remember who I am!  I am the lost Princess Anastasia!”

Everyone looked at her.

“And, and my blood is the key to the cure for the zombie virus!” she added.  “The zombies were first made by, uh… Ras…”

“Rasputin,” said Soren.

“Rasputin, who betrayed my family evilly!”

“That’s right!” said Calill through the open slot in the door.  “Rasputin was my bestie and he taught me to make the zombies!  And then I betrayed him because I am evil!!” 

Geoffrey dramatically took Elincia’s hand.  “I won’t let anyone hurt you.  I’m in love with you, Princess Elincia Anastasia!”

Everyone gasped.

“Well my sister is ALSO the cure, so no one is going to hurt her either,” said Lethe, looking annoyed.

“I could maybe take some cure from both of them and then neither dies?” Soren suggested.  

“So… no one has to sacrifice themselves?” Lucia asked, looking disappointed.

“I guess?”

“That’s a good thing,” Ike said firmly.  

“Yes, well, but you have to survive my zombies first!”  Calill cackled evilly.  

“The zombies need to attack outside,” said another, deeper voice from further in the medical complex.  “I just cleaned the floors!”

“Okay, Daddy!” Ike squealed.  “Er I mean, okay, uh… dramatic voice!”

“So I will take Lyre and Elincia and make a cure,” said Soren, “While the rest of you go fight the zombies.  Also, take my guard beast, but be warned he might turn on you.”  

“Woof,” said the guard beast.

Ike drew his sword.  “Let’s go, heroes!  We will save the day!”  He charged outside, swinging his mighty blade to start smiting zombies.  His new team of heroes followed him and a great battle ensued.  The guard beast was very fickle and licked everyone.

“Oh no, I’m being eaten by zombies!” Nephenee exclaimed.  “Oh no, I am dead!”  She fell over.  The guard beast immediately set upon her dead self.

“Why are you doing this?” Ike demanded of Calill, “This is evil and bad!  You killed poor Nephenee!”

“Yes, well, I am evil!” she exclaimed, “I want the world to die because of the war!”

“What war?” Lucia asked.

“The one that um, that we talked about earlier,” said Calill.  “You know, the good and evil one that Ike and Boyd were fighting in.”

“Oh, right.”

Boyd dramatically dropped his axe.  “But now we’re friends!  And if we can be friends, so can everyone else and the war can end!”

Calill looked thoughtful.  “That’s a good point…”

Soren came out with a cup.  “Here, I made a cure.  It worked on Lyre, so let’s see if it works on the zombies.”  He handed it to the head zombie, who drank it.  

“Yum,” she said happily.  “Definitely I’m cured!”

Everyone cheered.  Elincia and Lyre came outside too, both drinking from juice boxes.  

“And as the new Queen, I hereby declare that the war is over and everyone is friends!” said Elincia with appropriate gravitas.  

Everyone cheered more.

“Since Mia is cured, then all the zombies are cured,” Calill agreed.

“But shouldn’t you go to jail?” Lethe asked thoughtfully.  

“No one died,” said Calill.

“Oh, okay.”

"I did," Nephenee pointed out, still giggling because the guard beast was furiously licking her.  

"The guard beast clearly brought you back to life," Lucia said.

"Okay!"  She got back up and gave the guard beast a kiss on the snoot. 

The dramatic voice opened the back door.  “So heroes, it’s time for your hero feast.”  

“I’ll lead the way!” Ike exclaimed, and the group ran inside for their reward.

“That was so much fun,” Ike gushed over dinner, when everyone had gone home.  “I bet we can do stuff like that every day of summer!”

“Not EVERY day,” said Soren around his grilled cheese.  “I like them, but Geoffrey really ruined everything with the zombies.”

“Not ruined,” Ike argued.  “It was fun.”

“Says you.”

Mama and Daddy were giving each other worried looks, which Ike picked up on.  “What’s wrong?” he asked them.  

They both looked surprised.  “Oh… just good and bad news, sweetie,” said Mama.  “We’ll talk later.  So what was the original plan?”

“It was gonna be a war story,” said Soren.  “Then I was gonna fire the nukes and it was gonna be an apocalypse story.”

Ike was caught off guard by how funny that was, and he just laughed and laughed and laughed.  Surely the bad news couldn’t be that bad, and then they would have the best summer ever.

After showers and teeth-brushing, usually Soren and Mist fell asleep very fast but Ike didn’t.  He usually used that time to get Daddy or Mama snuggles.  He didn’t mind sharing his parents with Mist or Soren, but it was nice to be alone with his parents once in awhile too.  Daddy in particular was a big cuddle bug.  

“Ike,” said Mama with sadness, which made Ike nervous.  He felt Daddy’s arms tighten around him, and Ike felt even MORE nervous.  “Like I said earlier... we have… good and bad news.”

“Uh huh…?”  Ike had never been more nervous in his whole life.  He wasn’t used to these kinds of sad looks from his parents!

“Soren’s been adopted.”