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Sunoo wasn’t stupid. He knew from his own experiences that Jungwon definitely ate in a disordered way. But he couldn’t tell just how bad it had been getting for Jungwon. At least not until it had gotten almost too bad.
Sunoo knew what the bathroom trips were from when he’d taken them himself, years ago. But he wasn’t sure if Jungwon went to simply contemplate purging or if he actually did it. Sunoo had done both himself. Because of this, he made sure to watch Jungwon closely and constantly. As constantly as possible, that is. Jungwon would make it much harder than it should be by locking himself away in various rooms of the dorm. Sunoo couldn’t watch him if he couldn’t get in the room.
As Jungwon kept loosing more and more weight, Sunoo’s concerns grew. He’d first taken notice of how thin Jungwon had become about three weeks ago. It was horrifying to see the sweatpants that used to fit perfectly falling off Jungwon’s hips. It was horrifying to see how his collar and hips bones would poke through his skin. It was horrifying to see how ghostlike Jungwon had become. It almost seemed like he was fading out like a dying lightbulb. Sunoo felt he needed to quickly do something.
The opportunity came when Sunoo kept - purposefully - messing up in practice and turned to asking Jungwon to stay back and ‘help’ him. Jungwon agreed, with barely any hesitation because he ‘could use the extra practice anyway’. Sunoo had smiled - sadly - at that then they’d ran through a couple choreographies.
Thirty minutes had passed when Sunoo had paused the music, claiming to be a bit tired and in need of a break. He sat down with Jungwon on the floor in front of the mirror and began to bring up whatever came to mind. He and Jungwon hadn’t spoken in a while. It was upsetting. Sunoo and Jungwon had always been a bit closer than they were with the other members.
After a few topics of conversation had flown by, Sunoo experimentally brought up the topic of food. He could tell from the grimace that overcame the younger’s features that that was the last thing Jungwon wanted to talk about. Unfortunately, that had confirmed Sunoo’s suspicions. Sunoo had done most of the talking, until Jungwon all but blurted out a sentence Sunoo - regrettably - could not stop himself from laughing at.
”Chicken nuggets terrify me.” Jungwon had stated, obviously regretting the words as soon as they had left his mouth. Sunoo had burst out laughing. Because, really, who has a fear of chicken nuggets? He realized his mistake in doing so instantaneously. Chicken nuggets were most likely one of Jungwon’s fear foods.
Jungwon looked dejected and had chuckled awkwardly. After a moments hesitation, Jungwon muttered the words ‘I have an eating disorder’.
Once the words had fallen from Jungwon’s mouth, Sunoo felt a harsh pang of sympathy for the younger. Memories of his own battle with an eating disorder flashed across the forefront of his mind. His struggle had been somewhat different, as he had struggled - and still did sometimes struggle - with binge eating. But he knew how hard it was to crawl out of that pit. Especially once you’ve dug yourself in deeper and fallen back in many times before.
Sunoo vowed to always do his best to help Jungwon, and to be by his side as much as possible. He knew the younger male would need it.
Whether Jungwon was trying to eat on his own, or with others, Sunoo sat with him and did his best to comfort him. Whether Jungwon had a good or bad day, Sunoo did his best to be by Jungwon’s side as often as he could. Because of this, Sunoo found himself become yet closer Jungwon. He very nearly shared some parts of his own experiences. But he didn’t. These were the times to focus on helping Jungwon, not talk about himself.
Just as Sunoo had, Jungwon found himself becoming more comfortable around the elder. Around Sunoo, the goblin seemed to have less of an effect on him. And he felt happy, somewhat. Sunoo was relieved to see the changes in Jungwon. It meant that, maybe, Jungwon was ready and willing to try and heal.
Sunoo hoped he was right.
Then Jungwon got worse, again. Sunoo would still try his best to help the younger, but there was only so much he could do, when Jungwon didn’t seem to want help anymore. When Jungwon would leave halfway through a meal, Sunoo would attempt to follow. But, after a few attempts, Jungwon must have caught on because he locked every door he wished to be trapped behind.
Sunoo had approached Jay one evening, after Jungwon had all but ran away from the dinner table. He was getting desperate. Sunoo felt he was close enough to Jungwon to claim him as his best friend. Which meant Sunoo felt the least he could do was to do his best to help Jungwon. He practically begged Jay to intervene. He knew Jay was the only one Jungwon would really listen to. And that Jay would be the only one strong enough to keep Jungwon out of his current habits.
It was getting really bad. Sunoo felt if Jungwon didn’t stop getting worse soon he would end up hospitalized. He didn’t even know if Jungwon noticed. That thought terrified Sunoo to no end.