Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It would have been another normal, peaceful day for Jana if she wasn't already late. She got carried away at her friend's house earlier that day when they were busy eating, playing video games, and prank calling. Yeah, the usual sleepover rituals. While hurriedly pacing, she caught sight of her favorite flavored donut in her usual breakfast place: EatJin. As intriguing as that fluffy, creamy, chocolate drizzled donut was, she decided against buying it at that time. The cafe was crowded and she was already late enough for her group's dance practice.
She continued her walk towards the gym, and finally after another fifteen minutes she reached her destination. She was met with her friend glaring at her as soon as she had taken the first step inside the practice room.

"Okay, bitch. You have five seconds to explain why you're late again before I personally kick you out"

"Well, it's kind of a long story and we're already running out of time. Let's just start practicing, shall we?"
She sheepishly said, hoping to distract her dance instructor and friend Hoseok. She knew how strict he could get about anything related to dance.

"Seriously now, Jana," He complained. "Fine, you're giving me an explanation after we're done"

Jana sighed in relief after Hoseok had turned his back and started stretching, knowing that he would forget about that so called explanation.

"Where's Jimin?" Jana asked.

"He's helping his grandmother with her shop. What about Jungkook?"

"His father needed him for something back home. Damn, They get to skip whenever they want and I get a freaking lecture because I was fifteen minutes late?"

"Less talking, more stretching"

She puffed her cheeks in irritation but proceeded to stretch anyway. After a couple of minutes, Hoseok started showing her the new choreography he came up with, which was outstanding like all the other routines he choreographed.

"So ... what do you think?" He asked her, panting from the effort he had done.

"Do you even need to ask? Amazing as usual. Problem is me though. I don't think I'll be able to do it that well"

"Well, hun. I'm here for a reason. I'll teach you. And with me as your dancing instructor, pretty sure you won't fail"

"Wow, so modest," She rolled her eyes. "Would we be able to finish practicing before the dance off, though? I mean Jimin and Jungkook aren't here now"

"Oh they learnt it already"

"What! Why did you all learn a new choreo without me?! I feel so betrayed"

She crossed her arms and diverted her gaze away from him. Hoseok stared at her with a soft smile. He found it cute when she acted all dramatic and sulky.
He cleared his throat then stated.

"Well, you haven't been attending our practice sessions the last three days so I decided to teach it to them first"

"I have a life, Hobi. Of course I'd get busy from time to time"

"Do you want to learn this or not?" He asked, ending their meaningless discussion.

She looked back at him and motioned for him to start showing her the moves slowly, still slightly annoyed.
Three hours later and they were done with practice for the day. It was already sunset when they were walking towards EatJin for a light snack. The cafe door opened with a 'ding', and they made their way to their usual table. Two of the four seats were empty since their other two friends were missing for the day. When the waitress went over, Hoseok ordered an iced mint-lemonade, while Jana wanted to get the chocolate drizzled donut that she was craving ever since she had laid eyes on it.

"So, Hoseok. How does it feel like to be a senior?"

"Very stressing with all the school work, but I am so excited to finally graduate after twelve years of torture!! Can you believe I'm not attending school next year? It's college then..." He stopped to let out a sigh in disappointment. "I just hope we win the dance competition for once before I graduate. What about you, anything new happened?"

"I mean, beside the chemistry homework that's been torturing me mentally and physically, not much. Everything is just boring these days."

"Well, try to practice more. The dance off is in five days and we still haven't worked on our formation"

"Hey hey, why the long face? With this killing choreography we're sure to win. This is our year, Hobi. I can feel it!"

He chuckled lightly at her sudden positivity as she was mostly a very pessimistic person. The waitress had come with their order. They remained silent for the rest of their time in the cafe, both being drained from practice. After a while, they decided to go their separate ways to their houses after exchanging 'goodnight'.

Chapter Text

"JUNGKOOK GET BACK HERE!" She yelled as she chased him around the school cafeteria, attracting the attention of almost every student sitting there.

"Hell no, I told you I'm hungry and have no money, just let me eat it!" He swiftly swerved around the tables as he responded to her.

"That's my KitKat ,asshole!"

She sped up after him only to get pulled back by a sudden force. She looked behind her to see her grey skirt stuck on a nail that poked out of one of the tables. She grumbled while trying to free herself, cursing at the school uniform while at it. She hated how constricting the uniform was. She found the white shirt uncomfortable and the grey tie suffocating, so she always kept it hanging around her neck without actually tying it. She wasn't fond of the short grey skirt either; she always wore black leggings underneath. She tried to get grey pants from the boys' uniform, but she was called out for it by their principal and sent home that day. A few seconds later, she broke free and lifted her head to look for Jungkook.

He laughed at her struggle and dashed towards the exit when he saw Jimin blocking his way. Jimin stretched out his arms and held Jungkook around the waist, stopping him from making another move forward. Jana spotted them and ran faster in their direction. She snatched her chocolate bar back before kicking Jungkook's shin, making him hiss in pain.

"Ouch. Jana, that hurt!"

"Better think of that pain next time you decide to steal my KitKat"

Jimin eyed them both and laughed out loud. He then rushed them back to their table where they were sitting earlier.

"Hey, Jana. How are you handling the choreography so far?" Jimin asked before taking a bite of his tuna sandwich.

"It's so damn hard. I've only learnt it before yesterday, the dance off is in two days, and we haven't practiced our formation yet. Yep, we're doomed"

"Ahh looks like old Jana is back. Last time you were too positive for your own good." She turned her head to face the speaker; it was Hoseok. She greeted him with a wave and a smile.

"You're still struggling with the footwork?"

"No, it's the hand movements, Hobi. I always seem to mess them up," She ate the last bite of her chocolate bar and laid her head on the table frowning. "I'll never get it right. Maybe you guys should just participate without me. I guess the only reason you're losing is me."

"Oh please, stop fishing for attention. You're in the group, like it or not," Jungkook commented as he pulled her head back up making her sit straight in her chair. "Besides, who am I supposed to make fun of for dancing like a choking chicken if you quit now?"

"Why you little-" She was about to get up and beat him into a pulp if not for Hoseok holding her back. "I'm a year older than you, brat. Show me some respect!"

"I'll show you respect when you give me food, other than that my respect for you is below the ground!"

They continued bickering and throwing insults towards each other, while Jimin and Hoseok just sat there enjoying their food as if it was all normal. Well, that really was their usual. It might have seemed as if Jana and Jungkook despised each other, but deep down both of them shared an almost unbreakable bond. With their parents being childhood friends later on work partners, it was only natural for the two of them to have met every chance they got and eventually grown attached to each other. They had been friends since diapers. Literally.

The rest of the school day passed by in a blur, and soon the four of them were heading together towards their usual hangout spot, EatJin.
They were about to head inside when Jana received a notification making her halt her steps and take a look at her phone.

"Shit, sorry guys. I'm supposed to move out today"

"Move? Why? Did something happen?" Worried, jimin asked her.

"Not really. It's just that my mom wants to visit my dad in Egypt; we haven't seen him in over two years now, and she doesn't want me to stay alone. "

"Won't you still be alone when you move out?" Jungkook added.

"Nah, I'm moving in with her best friend's son. She says he's reliable."

"You could just stay at mine, you know. My parents miss you."

"That's what I told my mom but she said she doesn't trust us. Something about almost burning the kitchen down last time I stayed over."

"Oh, right. Now that you mention it, stay there. I don't want to almost face death again."

She laughed then waved her hands goodbye and jogged her way to her house ,humming a sweet tune. Once she arrived, she found her mother standing outside with a suitcase set beside her leg and a taxi parked beside the pavement.

"Jana! What took you so long?"

"Sorry, mom. Kinda forgot that I'm moving today."

"Now I'm actually reconsidering leaving you here on your own. You're just so inattentive and reckless sometimes."

"You worry too much, mommy. I'll be fine~"

With that said, she took the apartment keys from her mother and quietly waited for the driver to place the luggage in the trunk. After around five minutes, everything was set and Jana was ready to leave.

"Now try not to spend all your allowance at once, and don't forget to clean your room.Also try not to cause trouble for Seokjin, I've known him for so long and he's a fine young man. Never lose the keys, got it? I told him that you're a responsible person, so don't embarrass me and yourself. And don't forget to-"

"I get it, mom," She giggled at her panicking mother. "I'll be alright. Have a safe flight!" She hugged her mother and wished her goodnight then went on her way.

Chapter Text

She dragged her suitcase after paying and thanking the taxi driver and went straight to the second floor towards the apartment she would be staying in for the following two months. Unlocking the door and turning the knob, she slid through the door frame and closed the door after her. She set her luggage beside at the entrance as she observed the place. The apartment was a small two-room flat with regular sized living room and kitchen and one bathroom located in the hallway. There was no dining room. She looked around and took in her surroundings, shifting her gaze from the black L-shaped couch and armchairs to the gray rug and the white walls of the living room. She noticed a T.V in front of the couch and a small coffee table in between. As she was busy admiring the place, she didn't hear the sound of a door of one of the rooms closing; however, she turned her attention towards the hallway when she heard a faint cough. Leaning against the wall was a tall guy with broad shoulders, wearing a simple blue sweatshirt and black sweatpants. His features were smooth yet sharp, eyes black and staring blankly at her. His plum lips pressed together in boredom and irritation. His black hair fell on his forehead, complementing his handsome features.

"Now that you've acknowledged my presence, we should set some ground rules here."
What the hell? I just came in. . . He's pretty though. She thought.

"Um, hello to you too. My name is Jana Elyas. I'm assuming you're Seokjin?"

"Can we skip all the irrelevant talk and get straight to the point?"

"Excuse me, sir. Getting to know the person I'm living with isn't irrelevant." He ignored her comment and made his way to the couch while she just stood in her place in the middle of the living room, eyeing his movement.

"Don't leave the lights on when you're not in the room, don't attempt to cook cause you look like an amateur and you'd burn my precious kitchen down, don't come anywhere near my room, and don't invite anyone over without informing me at least one day prior," He remained silent for a second then went on. "Any questions?"

She was speechless. All she hoped for was for the person she'd be staying with to be decent, but he was the most obnoxious person she met so far.
Fine young man, my foot.
It didn't seem like he wanted her here to begin with, so why did he agree in the first place? Something told Jana that those upcoming two months would be the longest two months of her life.

"Okay, Mr. Handsome. Why the hell are you so rude when you've just met me? You should at least introduce yourself then we can get to talk about the rules, which I have no problem with whatsoever, it's what a decent human being would do. And why did you assume that I can't cook? I could be a Master Chef winner for all you know."
No, She barely knew what a spatula is.

"Do you have any problems with my rules?"
He dismissed her as if she hadn't said anything with any relevance.

"No, buddy. I have a problem with your attitude."

"Well, too bad. You should give me your number, though. If we're going to live together, we should be able to contact each other in case anything happens." He explained as he extended his phone over to her.

As much as she didn't stand him, he was right. She took his phone and hastily typed in her number. Grabbing her suitcase, she then headed towards her room and shut the door. She then pulled out her phone and dialed her best friend.

"Hello?"

"Jungkook, help! He's the most annoying creature I've ever seen."

"Relax, what did he do?"

"The first thing he said to me was that he wanted to set some ground rules and when I asked him to introduce himself he said that it was irrelevant, and he just told me not to cook cause I would burn his 'precious kitchen' down!"

"Okay, rude."

"I know!"

"So what do you want me to do?"

"I don't know~ I have to unpack. Sigh. I'll talk to you later I guess."

"Okay, hang in there. Maybe he's just having a bad day. Give him a chance?"

"The hecking heck? Yeah, no. I'm not gonna be his metaphorical punching bag. Why do I have to tolerate his bad mood, all I did was try to say hi."

"Alright then, good luck. I'll see you at school."

She stood up and placed her phone on her nightstand after hanging up then unzipped the suitcase; she grabbed black pants and a black hoodie and changed out her uniform. Pocketing her phone, she headed outside her room into the hallway. She barely passed the hallway when she was pushed to the side causing her to bump hardly into the wall.

"What the heck is wrong with you?! Why did you push me?"

"Next time just move out of the way." He replied rather monotonously.

"I'm leaving anyway, it's not like I want to see your face!"

With that she hurried to the door and slammed it after her. She paced to the elevator and stormed out of the building.
Tch, that idiot ruined my mood.
She decided to go for a short walk to calm herself. She walked around the building for a while until she reached a small garden. She then noticed a bench inside, occupied with someone. She made her way over, taking a seat beside the stranger. She crossed her arms and bit the inside of her cheek: a gesture she usually did when she was irritated. After a moment of silence the stranger talked.

"Tough day?"

"You have no idea." She replied.

She took a glance at the guy sitting beside her, he was wearing black jeans and a black hoodie. His blonde hair peeked from beneath the hood, his cat eyes were blankly staring ahead but with no specific target to lie on. He seemed to be around her age. She noticed that he had earphones in. He caught her glance and offered her one of the earbuds. She scooted closer but still leaving a bit of a distance between them and accepted it, listening to whatever he was listening to on his MP3 player. It was The Search by NF. Oh he's also into Rap!
She smiled and rested her back against the bench.

A couple of minutes later, the song neared the end; she observed as he glanced at his wristwatch then abruptly stood up and faced her. She took it as a sign that he had to leave, so she gave him the earbud back. And just like that, he walked away. She got up after he had disappeared, only to look down and find the MP3 player that belonged to the stranger. She picked it up and stared at it, wondering what she should do with it. It wasn't like she could return knowing absolutely nothing about its owner. She pocketed it, then decided to continue walking around. She made her way over to a convenient store and bought her favorite chocolate.
"Ah KitKats, you never disappoint me~"

Later on after walking around in the garden some more, she decided to finally go back and start unpacking. As she neared the flat door, she could hear the rude but handsome guy talking to what seemed to be another person in there as well.
Ugh, great. Another annoying human being I have to deal with today.
And so, she stormed inside the apartment extremely annoyed, but she halted her steps when her eyes laid on the other figure standing beside Seokjin. The man was none other than the stranger she had met in the garden earlier.
Silence seemed to have overtaken the place, until it was broken by the voice of the anonymous man.

"Oh Jin, she's the one you mentioned?"

"Sadly. You know her?"

"Not really, I just bumped into her when I was on my way here."

"Umm, hello. I'm still here you know." She suddenly spoke, crossing her arms over her chest. Seokjin looked her way with the most bored expression he could pull, while the stranger's lips curved into a soft smile.

"Looks like I'll be seeing you a lot so might as well introduce myself. My name is Yoongi Min. I'm Seokjin's friend from university. Nice to meet you." He said and stretched his hand out for a handshake.

"Well, at least you have manners. Nice to meet you too. My name is Jana Elyas." She smiled and shook his hand.

"Elyas? That's a unique name"

"Yeah, it's Arabic. I'm half Egyptian"

"Really! That's cool. Do you mind if we exchange numbers? It would be nice to meet up sometime."

She smiled and nodded as she took out her phone and handed it to him with him handing over his in return. After their little exchange, they heard a cough from the side. Yoongi glanced at Seokjin then back at Jana.

"Well, I should probably get going. See you later Jin. And you too, Jana." He waved and made his way to the door.

"Wait!" Jana put her hand in her hoodie pocket and pulled out his MP3 player. "You dropped this earlier"

He smiled and took it, then muttered a small 'thank you' as he went out the door.
Silence once again took over after he had left, but broken yet again only by Seokjin this time.

"Well now that you're done flirting, let's sit down. We need to talk." She snapped her head in his direction in utter bewilderment.

"Flir. . .- excuse you?" She took a deep breath to calm herself then went on. "You know what, I don't want to hear anything you have to say. Goodnight, sir." With that she turned around ,went into her room and locked the door. She let out a frustrated sigh and finally began to unpack.

Chapter Text

"-and five and six and seven and eight. And done!"
Hoseok stood in place while the other three collapsed on the floor, breathing heavily.

"Come on guys, we won't win if you get tired after only forty minutes." Hoseok said as he slid his hand through his wavy, chestnut hair. Although his face flushed feverishly from dancing vigorously, he stood straight as if he wasn't fazed at all.

"Oh please god have mercy. J-hope... how did that seem like only forty minutes to you?" Jimin questioned as he sluggishly sat up.

"Can we please take a break? I can hear my KitKat calling me from my bag." Jana whined while rolling on her side and dramatically stretching her arm out to the direction of her bag.

"No! No break! And no eating until we perfect this routine. Now get up, you lazy asses."

He demanded but got annoyed groans out of his other three companions in response. Jana barely managed to stand up and stumbled over to him.

"Listen, Hoseok. I know you're serious about this. I want to win as much as you do. But we have been here for six hours! Not forty minutes. It's eight thirty now."

"Yeah, Hobi. Let's just call it a day." Jungkook added.

"You guys don't realize that the competition is tomorrow?! We still have to work more on our formation!"

"Hope, we won't be able to dance tomorrow if we burn ourselves out now!"

"Just work a little harder, Jungkook. Why can't you just do that?"

Jungkook hastily got up just as those words left Hoseok's mouth.

"Am I not working hard enough for you?!"

"No, you just want to go home instead of practicing"

"'Cause we've been here for six goddamn hours Hobi!We're tired!"

That was when Jana decided to finally step in.
"Okay guys, no need to fight about this, we're a team so let's act like it."

"Oh please. Don't try to be mature now, you've been sulking the entire time"

"Jungkook, I'm saving your sorry ass now, so you better shut up."

Just as Jungkook was about to reply with another sassy remark, they all heard their phones beep, indicating that they had received a notification. They checked their phones, wondering about how coincidental it was for them to receive notifications at the same time. But it was not a mere coincidence.
Jungkook grinned as he read the contents of the message before speaking.

"Well. It looks like we deserve a break now"

"Yeah they postponed the competition last minute, look Hobi!" Jana said and extended her phone so close to Hoseok's face.

"Yes, Jana, I can see that on my own phone"

"It seems like they postponed it till the end of this semester," Jimin said as he read through the email. "Good, that gives us enough time to practice more and perfect this choreography"

With a heavy sigh, Hoseok put his phone down and started packing his stuff into his gym bag and walked away when he was done.

"Where are you going?" Jungkook asked.

"Home. You guys wanted a break, right?" And with that he was out of sight.

"I'll go talk to him." She hurriedly picked up her bag and followed after him.

"Bye Jimin, bye Jungkook." They waved back at her as she rushed out.

She paced down the sidewalk and sped up when she saw her friend.

"Hoseok! Wait up!"
He halted his steps and turned around to look at her small figure running in order to catch up with him.

"Jana, something wrong?"

"No, just .. don't be upset. I promise I'll work hard so that we can win this year."

He stared at her before letting a small smile creep on his face. He moved his hand to ruffle her hair earning a short whine from her.

"Don't worry, I'm not upset. Just a bit frustrated and stressed. I... really want to win. It means so much to me."

"And we will. I won't forgive myself if we don't."

Hoseok was rather surprised at her reply. He rarely saw her acting so serious and determined. He held her gaze for a few seconds before bursting out in laughter.

"Huh? What? Why are you laughing?"

He took a few moments to catch his breath as his giggles died down.

"What are you being so dramatic for? Really, Jana, it's weird seeing you like this."

"Hey! I was trying to reassure you. Fine! I won't talk again." She did her signature sulky move where she crossed her arms and bit the inside of her cheek as she stomped away.

"Yah, come on I was joking," He yelled after her then took hold of her arm and turned her to face him. "I was joking. I really appreciate your determination. Let's work hard yeah?"

Jana relaxed her face into a beautiful smile and held up her hand for a fist pump, which Hoseok gladly returned.

"Yo, idiots!"

They turned back to be met with the sight of Jungkook waving his hand as he walked towards them alongside Jimin.

"Y'all really decided to ditch us like that, huh."

"Jungkook, I literally just told you 'bye'"

"Jana"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up, will you"

.....

Smack

"Ow! What the fuck!"

"Language, Jeon."

"You literally just punched me!"

"Yeah so? You were asking for it."

"As much as I want to watch you both rip your heads off, I'm so damn hungry, so let's get moving, yeah?" Jimin interrupted, pushed them both aside, then walked away. He took a few steps ahead only to turn his head back to them. "Y'all coming?"

Jungkook and Jana looked at other before Jana smacked his head again and ran towards Jimin as if her life depended on it.

"HEY! Jana!! Get back here. That's abuse!"

Hoseok watched them chase each other with Jimin standing on the side and laughing along with them. He looked at the scene in front him, his face revealing his remarkable smile that shined brighter than sun rays.
Though Hoseok was a cheerful person with a bright vibe, he wasn't the type to vocally express his feelings; he was always grateful to have his friends by his side.

Chapter Text

It was another day in Jana's humble temporary abode. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and Seokjin was yelling about the third burnt egg in the pan.

"Yah yah yah!! Step away! I knew you were a horrible cook!"

"Easy on me! This is only my second attempt at cooking!"

"Jana, You literally burnt eggs! That doesn't even count as cooking," He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath to calm himself down. "Just.. get out. I'll make breakfast on my own. Go prepare the table or something." His eyebrows were furrowed in irritation as he started cleaning the mess created by the girl standing next to him and prepared the food all over again.

Jana stayed silent instead of telling him off as she would have usually done. She then moved over to the living room, placing plates, utensils, and cups down before moving over to the coffee machine to make some coffee for her roommate. She wasn't that big of a coffee fan herself. She was lost in thought, wondering when she and Seokjin started being casual with each other. Yes, he was still as rude as ever, but at least he made some effort in starting a conversation every now and then. Her mind went back to that talk they had the other day after she had returned from school. Seokjin had divided their house chores and suggested they have their meals together from then on. As confused as Jana was, she complied. She didn't want any unnecessary trouble or quarrels to arise, although disagreements between them were inevitable.

"Hey, Jana. Come carry the dishes with me"

Her train of thoughts was interrupted when she heard her name being called.

"Don't you think you're a bit too demanding?" She asked as she carried the plates with the eggs and vegetables.

"How is asking for help demanding?"

"No, I don't mean just now. Like every other time you talk to me, you order me to do stuff. Is it that hard to say please?"

"Okay then. Jana, will you please shut up and eat?" He set the last plate on the table and sat down then waited for her to join him so that he could start eating.

"This is hopeless," She huffed as she finally took her seat in front of him on the floor. "By the way, what happened to Yoongi? He hasn't been coming around for a while."

"Why do you ask? You want to flirt with him again?"

"For the love of god, I wasn't flirting!!"

"Yeah yeah sure. Why are you even asking me, don't you have his number?"

"Why are you being annoying. Are you by any chance jealous cause I like him more than you? "

"Not flirting, my ass."

"Bitch!"

"Yah, I'm at least three years older than you, where's your respect?"

She decided to just ignore him and start eating. It was silent for a couple of minutes before Seokjin sighed and finally decided to give her an answer.

"He's preparing for his quarter exams."

"Now that wasn't too hard, was it," She said with an amused smile before letting out a groan in irritation. "Ugh, that reminds me. My quarter exams are also in two weeks."

". . . Good luck"

She stared at him for a couple of seconds.
Why is he suddenly being nice? Seems sus to me.
"Thanks, you too." She mumbled as she got back to eating, and the both of them remained silent.

***

The sound of the ringing phone cut her studying time short as she decided to walk over to the bed to grab the phone. She returned to the desk, picking up the call without checking the caller ID as she continued writing down her notes.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Jana! How are you doing, dear?"

"Oh, Mr. Jeon! I didn't expect you to call. I'm good what about you?" She put the pencil down and rotated in her chair as her mouth curved into a smile.

"All is good thank you for asking. How is your mother doing?"

"She's doing well, in Cairo right now. She met my father already"

"That's good to hear.We haven't seen you here in a while. Why don't you stay over for the next couple of weeks until your mother comes back home"

"Ah, my mother's friend had already made all the arrangements first, I'm sorry. I'll keep it in mind for next time, though."

She decided against telling him the real reason her mom refused. There was no way she was going to tell him that it was her who set the kitchen on fire. They still thought it had been caused by a defected electric wire.

"It's okay, dear. How are you and Jungkook doing?"

"Oh Jungkook? We're good."

"That boy hasn't asked you out yet?"

". . . I'm sorry what?"

"It's okay, I'll talk to him about it. He must be shy, His mother and I both know how much he loves you. I presume the feeling is mutual."

"Uhh Mr. Jeon, thank you, but that's unnecessary. Jungkook and I are fine, really."

"No need to be polite, Jana. I will talk to him for you, okay? Now I have to go. Have a nice day, dear!"

"Wait! Mr. Je- ugh he hung up. The hell was that?"

She spent the following five minutes pondering the strange call she just had. Why was Mr. Jeon suddenly pushing her into dating Jungkook? Did he really misunderstand their close friendship with something more? Or maybe he just wanted them to always stay connected like their parents were. Jana realized that she wouldn't get any answers from just staring at the phone, so she called her best friend to come over. The sound of the door bell was heard after twenty minutes. Jana made her way out of her room and found Seokjin sitting on the sofa with his laptop on his lap and his reading glasses resting on the top of his nose. He was wearing a beige turtle neck and black pants. It seemed like he had returned not a long while ago.

Damn him for being a good looking jerk.

"Who's at the door?"

"My friend. I asked him to come over."

"What? Jana, we agreed that you have to inform me first." He complained.

"Well, can you make an exception? It's an emergency."

"Okay fine," He sighed in defeat. "Just this once since I'm nice."

She rolled eyes before making her way to the door and swinging it open. Jungkook came into view and greeted her with a smack in the head ,earning a groan and a slap in return.

"Nice place you got there."

"It's not mine."

"Oh, then where's your obnoxious roommate?"

"Shut up! He's literally over there and he has very sharp ears!" She whisper-yelled at him. "Just come to my room. We really need to talk."

***

"Oh he actually talked to you about that?"
Jungkook sat up on the bed, leaning his back against the headboard as he faced Jana, who was sitting on her swivel chair.

"What do you mean? Has he said anything about us being in a relationship before?"

"Yes, from time to time. For some reason he likes the idea of us being together. He's just worried cause I'm not that outgoing and you're like the only girl I associate with. Just ignore it."

"Won't he ask me about it again, though? What do I say then?"

"I don't really know. I told him before that I don't like you."

"Hey!"

"Stop hitting me, for God's sake!! I love you, you know that. Just not in that way."

"Yeah I know. Remember that time in third grade, though?" She mentioned as she tried to stifle her giggles.

"Ugh, why are you mentioning that!" She couldn't hold back anymore and burst out laughing at the sight of Jungkook's face heating up.

"Aww Kook! You were so cute!"

She recalled her nine year old self when she was dressed in a beautiful white gown, Jungkook was in a black tux correspondingly. Both families were on their way to get their formal wear to attend a wedding of one of their friend's relatives.

Jana as always decided to wander off on her own as she looked at every dress, creating various scenarios in her head of different princesses wearing different dresses. Jungkook got easily bored of staying with the grown ups, so he decided to follow Jana around the shop. He found her holding a tiara decorated with pearls and diamonds.

"Do you like it?" He asked

"Yes. Will you be a prince and put it on me, Jungkookie?"

He looked at her for a few seconds, taking her features in. Her fair face with her hazel eyes that sparkled under the lights with innocence, light brown wavy hair falling on her shoulders, and her signature toothy smile. He liked when she smiled, it made him want to do the same regardless of the situation. He took the tiara and placed it on her head.

She turned around to look in the mirror, her smile getting wider.

"You're beautiful."

"Huh?"

"You're really pretty. It would be nice to marry you when we grow up."

"I do not want to marry you! Stop it! Don't bring that up again." Jungkook whined as he sunk more into the bed, covering his face with a pillow.

Jana only laughed in response. She then got up and sat next to him on the bed.

"Don't worry, Jungkookie. I don't want to marry you either. Just stay by my side. Always"

He slowly removed the pillow to look at her. He sat up again and lightly slapped her arm.

"What are you being so dramatic for? Seriously it doesn't suit you."

She focused her gaze on him with nothing in mind to reply with. There were sudden moments when she would feel like everything would collapse. There she went overthinking a simple situation again. She hated when things would go out of their place, things she didn't want to change. She hated change. She cherished her relationship with Jungkook the most, and she wouldn't trade it for the world. She was startled when she found herself getting pulled into a hug, especially since Jungkook wasn't the type to initiate any kind of physical contact. Well, except for smacking her and messing up her hair, but that wouldn't count.

"Jungkook?"

"I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me whether you like it or not."

She only smiled as she returned the hug; she needed it. As if Jungkook read her mind, he always knew when she needed reassurance. Jana wouldn't ever voice it, but he knew how she would get doubtful and anxious from time to time. She could always count on him; it was moments like these when she would feel the most blessed.

Chapter Text

A thudding sound was resonant in the big practice room as they all fell to the floor after a heavy practice session. Well, except for Hoseok who stood up with the biggest smile on his face as always.

"Great work today, guys! Our formation is looking good. Now we have to practice generally just to make sure everything is perfect."

"Finally!" Jungkook shouted then dashed to grab his water bottle, chugging it down.

"Fifteen minutes break then we get back to work!"

Receiving annoyed groans in response, Hoseok rolled his eyes as he started scrolling through his phone. Jana made her way to her bag, taking out her best friend and savior of all times: KitKat. She started munching on it when she heard her phone ringing. A smile was drawn on her face when she read the contact name.

"Yoongi! I haven't seen you in a while."

The other three boys turned their heads to look at her as she talked on the phone.

"Yeah, I'll be available in about an hour. . . Okay see ya!" She hung up then returned the stares that were digging holes into her head.

"What?"

"Who's Yoongi?" Jimin and Jungkook asked in unison.

"Umm, my friend?"

"I know all your friends and I have never heard about him."

"No you don't, Jungkook. Why does it matter, anyway?"

"Oh nothing, just wondering who would want to be friends with a hideous chicken like yo- DON'T YOU DARE HIT ME AGAIN!" He grasped both her hands in time before she managed to strike him.

"Then stay in your freaking lane!"

"What Jungkook means is that we're just surprised, Jana. You're not usually fond of new people." Jimin took her hands from Jungkook's hold and placed them by her side.

"Yoongi is a nice guy. He's Seokjin's friend. Way more friendly than him. I see him from time to time when he visits him in the apartment," She paced back to her previous spot beside her bag and took a sip of her water bottle. "He's a producer,too! I heard some of his songs. They're amazing."

Hoseok was busy scrolling through his phone, seemingly distracted and disinterested but was attentive to everything that was being said. A slight feeling of discomfort settled within him, yet he was unaware of the reason. Jungkook scoffed as he went to sit beside Hoseok and leaned his back against the wall.

"Aww no need to be jealous, Kook. You'll always be my number one."

"Go rot in hell for all I care."

She laughed then shifted her gaze to Jimin who bent down to take his phone from the charger. She had been eyeing him most of the time since they had stepped foot into the practice room. She noticed how pale and weak he looked, and he stumbled throughout the dance a few times, which was unusual for him. His state at school was no different for the past week either. She'd notice him barely able to keep his head up and not resting on the desk. However, she didn't confront him knowing he would avoid questions about his well being. An hour later, they were finally done with their session for the day and were getting their bags to leave. Jimin was the first one out the door, bidding them goodbye and rushing away.Hoseok mentioned that he had to be home early that day, so he hastily exited the room as well.

"Well, it's just you and me. Wanna come over and play video games?"

"I'm meeting up with Yoongi today. Maybe another time."
Jungkook groaned in response.

"But we haven't hung out in so long! You're really picking this dude over me?"

"Stop it you big baby. I made plans with him first," She laughed as she patted his back. "But do you want to come along? I don't think Yoongi will mind."

He stood still for a while, thinking about her invitation. Yeah, there was no way he was going to leave her alone with a random guy he didn't know.

"Alright. Where are we even going?"

"I don't know. Yoongi is coming to pick me up. Then we'll decide from there."

"You were going to ride in a car with a random guy ALONE?!"

"Oh my god, what is wrong with you. Even my mom doesn't do that."

"I'm just making sure you're still in one piece until your mom gets back."

"You really don't need to worry; Yoongi is a nice guy."

"Yeah keep saying that."

"Yes, I will."

Their conversation, or more like bickering, was cut short when they heard the honking of a car. Yoongi pulled up beside them then got out and headed their way.

"We're having extra company today?" 

"Yep, this is Jungkook." She replied as they both did their signature handshake.

"Oh great, now y'all having one of those best buddies handshakes. What next, you'll tell me you're dating him?"

Yoongi glanced at Jungkook, staring him down for a minute.

"Don't mind him, he's just jealous."

"I'm not!"

Yoongi hadn't taken his gaze off Jungkook, taking in his whole appearance from his jet black locks parted on the side to his big doe eyes that clearly reflected his irritation, his white shirt that started to get translucent to his ripped jeans and classic Timberlands. He observed as Jungkook shifted his weight on his left leg and returned the look, clearly getting uncomfortable at the intense glare he was receiving.

"He's cute."

Silence then seemed to take over for a few seconds. Jungkook felt heat rushing to his face at the older man's words. He was blushing, Jungkook Jeon was blushing.

"I- Don't call me cute! I'm taller than you!"

"Alright kid," Yoongi responded as he ruffled Jungkook's hair then made his way to the driver seat. "Get in, kids. We don't have all day. It's already five p.m."

Jungkook groaned in annoyance but followed anyway. And after a five minute fight, Jana was finally allowed to sit in the passenger seat as Jungkook sat in the back, now on their way to their go-to cafe. They got in and made themselves comfortable in their usual table. Jana and Jungkook sat next to each other with Yoongi in the opposite seat. The two guys had decided on their order; Jana on the other hand was as indecisive as ever, stuck between getting the vanilla or strawberry milkshake.

"Why don't you get the hot mint chocolate. Jin's are the best."

"Yeah okay, I can try asking him to make me some when I get home though I doubt he'll even agree, I want something for now."

"I meant for now."

"Yoongi, even if Seokjin was here, how would he make it now?"

" Uhh, it's literally his cafe?"

"WHAT!!"

"Yeah, I think he's in the back room now, too. You seriously didn't know? The cafe is even in his name"

Jana took a moment to recite the name in her mind. EatJin. Eat. Jin. . . Jin. SeokJIN.
She facepalmed when she was finally hit with realization. How could she not put two and two together? Especially after Seokjin himself had once told her that he owned a cafe down the street.

"Wait, what's going on? I'm confusion." Jungkook inquired, shifting his eyes back and forth between his two companions.

"Apparently, my roommate is the owner of this cafe."

"WHAT! That guy with the broad shoulders?"

"Wait, isn't he still in his second year of university? Shouldn't he be a broke college student or something? How the hell did he afford this?"

"Well, he's kinda filthy rich. You should know that, your mother and his are supposedly friends as far as I know."

"I only knew of his existence when I moved in."

She would have never guessed that her obnoxious roommate would be the owner of her favorite cafe, and she had been going there for over two years.

"So, Jungkook right?"

"Dafuq you want?"

"Easy there, kid." Yoongi laughed slightly. "I just have a favor to ask. I heard you sing"

"How the hell do you know that?"

"Oh, I told him."

". . . you talked about me?"

"Duh, everyone needs to know about my possessive bunny and his infinite amount of talent." Jungkook whined and slapped his hand away when she ruffled his hair.

"What is with people and messing up my hair today!"

"Yeah anyway, I have been working on a song for this semester's project and I need a vocalist. Jana here said you have a beautiful voice. Would you mind helping me out?"

Jungkook blushed slightly at the compliment before shifting his gaze to the side. It was no surprise that Jungkook didn't do well with strangers. He would rather stay within the comfort of his close friends circle, thank you very much. That's why he often seemed rude when dealing with new people, and definitely why he couldn't take compliments well either.
"Uhh, I don't know. Show me the song first then I'll decide."

"Sure, we can go to my studio after this."

And just on cue, the waiter came to take their order. Jana finally settled for the vanilla milkshake. Jungkook and Yoongi got to know each other more as time passed with the younger asking question after question about anything related to the music field since it was his dream major. He always had the talent for performing and wanted to pursue dance as a major; however, after listening to Yoongi talk with passion about his projects, he might have taken interest in music and sound production.

"So you're saying you produced songs for idols already?"

"Yes."

"Lee Suran?"

"Aha."

"Heize?"

"Yeah."

"And Halsey?!!"

"Yup."

"Woah. Hyung, that's cool."

Jungkook's eyes lit up in admiration as they talked. He wasn't going to lie, that Yoongi guy wasn't as bad as he had initially thought; he actually saw them being good friends as they had multiple interests in common. And with both exchanging numbers, they all decided to call it a night and return home. Jungkook had agreed to going over to Yoongi's studio and checking out his song. As they were all riding the car, yoongi offering Jana a ride home as well, both boys flinched suddenly at the startling whine of the girl accompanying them.

"Shoot! I forgot my water bottle in the gym!"

"That's it?! You fucking scared me. We can get it some other time!" Jungkook replied as he was fastening his seatbelt.

"You don't understand!! That's my limited edition Hunter x Hunter water bottle! I can't lose it!"

"Oh for the love of-"

"It's okay, we can stop by the gym and get it, no big deal."

"THANKS YOONGI."

He smiled back at her then focused his eyes forward and started the car.

"Hurry up, we don't have all night."

"Stop being a douchebag, I'm going. Jeez."

She unbuckled her seatbelt then dashed towards the entrance. She made her way to the practice room, already memorizing the path by heart. As she neared the door, she could hear the muffled sound of squeaky shoes against the slippery wooden floor along with faint music playing.
Huh? Why would anyone be here at ten p.m.?

Chapter Text

She stepped closer to the door, pushing it open slightly and peeking her head through the small gap. She saw the figure moving around the room, dancing passionately. His white shirt turned translucent from sweat, and strands of his silver hair were sticking to his damp forehead.

"Jimin?"

He was startled at the sudden mentioning of his name, legs slipping and body crashing on the ground as he gasped.

"Oh shit," Jana fully opened the door, rushed towards him and helped him sit up, then went over to his bag and handed him his water bottle. Jimin, still chasing breaths, received it and gulped the whole thing down while Jana stopped the music.

"What the heck are you doing here at-," She paused looking at her wrist watch. "- ten fifteen in the evening?!"

"Just... practicing"

"At ten fifteen in the evening?!"

He got up, making his way to his bag and sitting beside it against the wall then pulled out his phone.

"Hey! Don't ignore me, I'm talking to you!" She sighed as she received no reply before taking out her own phone and making a call. "Hey. . . Uhh no I haven't found it yet, you guys can go ahead. I'll head home when I find it."

"Are you sure? We can help you look for it."

"No it's alright, Yoongi. . . Tell Jungkook to stop screaming, Seokjin's house is a five minute walk from here anyway. . . Aight, see ya!" She placed her phone inside her backpack then sat beside Jimin and snatched his phone away.

"Hey!"

"No, you're going to tell me what the hell has been wrong with you the whole day. You really think I wouldn't notice how unusual you looked today? Better start speaking or we're staying here the whole night."

He looked at her for a few seconds. He then sighed in defeat and shifted his gaze to the floor in front of him.

"I just.. don't think I'm working hard. I need to perfect the moves that's why I'm here this late."

"Jimin, are you kidding me? you're working hard and we can all see it. And it shows with how well you dance every time we practice."

"I don't dance well! I'm just not good enough! My moves are sloppy, I'm too fat and I look so ugly next to Jungkook and Hoseok.... And no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try it's just not perfect. I can't be good enough, I am not. I'm the reason we've lost last year."

"Listen to me, Jimin. You can't keep doing this. You can't expect everything to be perfect, cause it never will be." She noticed how he furrowed his eyebrows; he looked stressed, seemingly on the verge of crying. She took a deep breath then went on.

"Tell me, Jimin. What is your definition of perfection?" He remained silent, not really knowing what to say.

"Exactly, perfection doesn't exist. You're setting your standards way too high for yourself and the outcome will only be a massive burn out. Instead of becoming the best, how about becoming a better version of yourself. Because no matter what field you're in or what activity you do, you'll always find someone better than you. You'll always find someone worse than you as well. So when it comes to development, when it comes to bettering yourself, always move at your own pace. Don't compare yourself to others, rather to your own past achievements. Jungkook and Hoseok are handsome, yes. But you are so gorgeous. They both have their own style, but so do you. Your body is so delicate when it moves to the music. I personally enjoy watching you dance the most."

Jimin still hadn't said a word nor had he made a move, he suddenly found interest in his shoelace. However, it was evident to Jana how he was slightly shaking and trying to repress his tears.

Jimin had always been hard on himself. He would work harder than anyone, but was always unsatisfied with the results. Some would call it passion, others would say perfectionism. For Jimin, it was a mix of both. He was one of the most passionate people Jana had ever known, but his passion would lead him to want to perfect whatever he would do to the point that if he made one wrong move, he would give up. On the contrary, if he did an outstanding job, he wouldn't ever think it was enough and strive for more. It was a double edged sword, but the pain it caused was for sure insufferable.

Jana placed her hands on his cheeks and turned his face to her direction so that he could look at her; he had been silent for a few minutes, and she was afraid of what he could be overthinking at that moment. His eyes were still facing elsewhere, though the first tear had slid down his face followed by many others.

"Oh, Jimin," She wiped some of his tears with her thumbs, and as he started sobbing, she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him towards her and embracing him tightly.

"It's okay, Jiminie. Let it out."

They remained in that position for a few minutes before Jimin pulled away and wiped the rest of his tears with his sleeves.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" Jana asked as she handed him some tissues she pulled out from her own backpack.

"You're here this late because of me, and I'm burdening you with my issues and crying like a baby."

"Jimin, no. Just no. You are not going to talk like that. I'm here for you whenever you need. Your problem is that you don't ever ask for help when you really need it."

He only stayed silent in return, fumbling with the tissues in his hands. He wasn't the type to ever ask for help and would rather deal with his own problems by himself. In fact, that was his first time ever opening up to someone. He was glad he opened up to the right person. Jana was known to be the goofy clown of the group; however, she could be comforting and wise when needed. She was without a doubt an amazing friend, one that Jimin was grateful for having by his side at that moment.

"You can share anything with me. Jimin, you've always been quite the perfectionist, and it seems like it's taking a toll on you. It's up to you but I suggest you see a professional-"

"What!" His eyes widened in surprise. "No! I don't need to see a therapist, I'm not crazy."

"That's the most ignorant thing you could've said. You're not crazy if you go to a therapist. It might help you locate your problem since it's obvious you've been pressured by this for a while now." She sighed.

"You know, the boys also noticed that something seemed off," He looked up at the mentioning of their two other friends. "They just didn't want to ask in case you felt uncomfortable."

"Then why did you ask knowing that?"

"'Cause I like making you uncomfortable, duh."

He hit her arm lightly as they both laughed. She inspected his face before starting again.

"Jimin.. when was the last time you've eaten. And please don't lie to me, it's very clear you haven't been eating well. You've lost a lot of weight."

"You think? I don't think I've lost that much."

"Jimin"

"Okay fine. Last time I had a meal was around ten days ago."

"Ten days- JIMIN!"

"Stop shouting so suddenly!"

"Jiminie, you're anything but fat. You have a six pack for crying out loud."

Jimin sighed for what seemed to be the hundredth time that day and leaned his head on Jana's shoulder "That's what everyone says."

"Sigh, Jimin, sigh. You complain about not being able to dance well, yet you don't supply yourself with the energy needed to do so. Make it make sense. Look, here's what we're going to do," She stood up, dusted her black leggings, and adjusted the flannel around her waist then pulled him up as well, holding both of his hands in hers. "You're going to go home, take a shower, have a proper healthy meal, then relax and go to bed. You're not going to school tomorrow; I'll write notes for you and explain any new lessons to you, and you're going to stop your solo overexerting dancing sessions."

"But-"

"Jimin, please. I want you to be healthy. What good will it do if we win the competition when you're destroying yourself in the process? To me that's a total loss."

"It's not just about the competition. . ."

"Trust me, I know. I truly understand. That's why work with me, okay? I'm going to be with you all the way. . . And consider going to a therapist when things get too much. Trust me, it really helps."

"Okay," He tugged on her hands and hugged her for the second time. "Thank you. . . so much"

She hugged back, a soft smile stretching on her face. "No problem at all, I'm always here for you."

Minutes later, they were both standing in front of the gym's entrance. Jana was ecstatic when Jimin handed her her lost water bottle. She waved goodbye as she saw him walking down the sidewalk until he was out of sight. She sighed in content; she was happy to have been able to help Jimin even just a little bit, but her smile was soon molded into a blank expression as she went back into the practice room intstead of making her way back home as originally planned.

How hypocritical was she.

She placed her belongings on the floor and connected her phone to the sound system then started dancing, practicing Hoseok's notorious choreography. 
Right then left step, slide to the back and turn. Like Hoseok did.

The clock hit 11:55 p.m., Jana was lying on the floor, breathing heavily.
I'm not doing enough. Hoseok will be disappointed if we lose again this year.

She stood up and grabbed her phone to start the music again when she took a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

Were my thighs always this big? How much do I weigh now? Dang, I've been eating too many KitKats.

She sighed and looked back at her phone. Her thoughts were all over the place. She needed to practice more on body coordination, cut down some of the extra calories she had been consuming, and check on Jimin and get him his lessons notes. Jana was a smart, observant girl. She was aware of her thoughts and the actions she would soon take. And she knew how wrong she was, but would she follow her own advice? Of course not. She would rather help her friends get better and deal with her struggles by herself. After all, if they all had problems, who would be there to help each of them? Jana took it upon herself to be that person.

Chapter Text

The clinking sound of keys was heard as Jana opened the apartment door. Turning the knob, she went in only to be met with the sight of a panicking Seokjin talking on the phone. He turned his head towards her direction when he heard the sound of the closing door.

"... No, never mind she's back. Sorry for worrying you. Yeah, I'll tell her to call him." With that being said, he hung up and placed the phone on the coffee table, then turned to look at her with a warning glare.

"Why were you out till twelve o five at midnight?" 

"Taking a walk."

"At twelve o five in the middle of the night?!"

She dismissed his outburst then proceeded to take off her shoes and place her keys on a shelf next to the door.

"You know, it's rude not to respond when someone is talking to you." He crossed his arm, still glaring at her.

"Oh, you wanna talk about being rude?" She scoffed then turned to make her way to her room but was stopped by Seokjin grabbing her wrist.

"What is wrong with you? Do you have any idea how worried I was? Yoongi said he dropped you off two hours ago. What if something had happened to you while you were out this late." She shrugged off his hold and turned to face him.

"First of all, don't touch me. Second,Why the hell do you care?! My whereabouts are none of your fucking business!"

"Watch your language with me. If you haven't realized yet, you're my responsibility until your mother gets back. From now on you're going to tell me when and where you go out." He spoke in a calm yet threatening tone.

"Un-fucking-believable." She muttered then stormed towards her room.

"And call that Jungkook guy! He's been worried sick." She managed to hear him before slamming her door shut.

The following day, Jana woke up earlier than usual and got ready for school. She gathered her school supplies in her backpack and headed out to the living room. She saw Seokjin sitting on the couch, going over some of his notes. He looked up at her when he heard her coming out of her room.

"You're up early today."

"Yeah."

The silence was deafening. The atmosphere was still quite awkward from the tension between them caused by the events that took place the night before. Seokjin stood up and headed to the kitchen to start with breakfast with Jana following behind him to get her water bottle from the fridge.

"You wanna help me with breakfast?"

"No thanks. I'm not hungry."

"What? But you never skip breakfast."

"And how would you know that?"

"We've been living together for the past month and you always make sure to never skip breakfast."

Jana stood in silence, taking in what was said to her before letting out a scoff.

"You don't know me. I better get going now or I'll be late." With that she was out the door.

Seokjin stared at the spot where she was standing a few seconds ago then shifted his gaze to the clock.
"School starts in two hours, though." He sighed before proceeding to prepare a light snack for himself. He wasn't in the mood to eat much anymore.

Jana was walking by the sidewalk, with no particular destination in mind. Her body was physically there, but her head was up in the clouds. A lot of thoughts invaded her mind all at once. Thoughts about Jimin's well being, thoughts about the dance competition, and thoughts that she didn't think would come crashing back after a year of being fine. Self doubt and scrutinization settled within her after that encounter with Jimin at the gym the day before. She hated that. She thought that she had dealt with those intrusive thoughts a long while ago, why would they come back now? Why would she start doubting her capabilities now? Why would she start hating how she looked now? Why now? She was a girl with confidence and charisma, but when you really observe her, she was a girl with a lot of insecurities and inner struggles. She was known to be pessimistic, but that was all she let show. Just superficial negativity, no deep or ulterior meaning behind it. And though she knew she was in a bad place, she never once sought help from anyone under the excuse of "they already have their own problems, mine will just add more pressure" She did consider herself an independent person after all; she could help herself by herself and there was no need to bother anyone else. Jana let out an exasperated sigh and made her way to the gym. It was only 5:25 in the morning, might as well make use of those two hours before school.

The same scene unfolded yet again. She was sprawled on the floor with her eyes closed, her chest heaving up and down in a fast pace to compensate for the oxygen loss.

Not enough. This is not enough. I need to do better, I need to look better.

Her eyes shot open at the sound of her ringing phone. She slowly got up, her arms and thighs were aching from the intense dancing session she had just had. She looked over the caller ID.
Yoongi.
She stared at the phone for a few seconds, contemplating whether to pick up. She then decided to silence the phone. She didn't want to deal with a worried Yoongi asking about her whereabouts and well being. She was grateful for him, but she wasn't ready to be bombarded with questions; she still had an apprehensive Jungkook to deal with. The time on her phone read 7:15. She collected her bag and left the gym, on her way to start a lovely day at school. It would be a lie to say that she looked forward to it. She had barely eaten, barely slept, and didn't want to face another mind torturing chemistry quiz.

Chapter Text

The bell finally blessed everyone in the room with its obnoxious ringing, signaling the end of class and the start of lunch break. Jana packed her bag and was about to move out the class when she was called by the teacher.

"Jana, can you stay after class for a bit?"

Now that sounded ominous. Either Jana had caused trouble or was failing that class. She presumed the latter. The classroom was empty except for her and the chemistry teacher.

"What is it, Mrs Kim?"

"Jana, I know you're a bright student, but lately you've been getting low grades in your quizzes. Is there something you're struggling with?"
Yup, definitely the latter. Jana sighed and fiddled with her bag strap.

"No particular struggle per say, I just find chemistry a bit hard."

"Would you like me to assign a tutor for you?"

"No no! I'll be fine on my own."

"Okay then. Just know that you can ask me whenever you don't understand, alright? For the time being, I'll give you some assignments to raise your marks a bit. And since Jimin didn't attend today, please give him these work sheets and tell him to see me first thing tomorrow when he comes."

"Alright. Thank you, Mrs Kim."

She gathered the sheets and assignments and headed out. She sighed for the hundredth time. Not only did she have to prepare Jimin's notes, but also solve some extra chemistry assignments. She knew she shouldn't complain, after all she got a chance to not fail that class, but still she would forever despise this horrendous subject. At least their teacher was nice. She was about to step towards her locker when she was trapped in a bone crushing back hug.

"Ugh, Jungkook let go!"

She heard him laugh before he let her go and moved to stand in front of her.

"That hurt, you muscle pig!"

"Not my fault you're a chopstick."

She puffed her cheeks and narrowed her eyes, glaring at him only for him to laugh some more. She looked away from him then made her way to her locker as she originally planned, this time with Jungkook tagging along.

"So, mind telling me where you went yesterday?"

She took a glance at him, his smile completely gone as his face morphed into a solemn expression. She knew there was no way out of this one; Jungkook was one hell of a stubborn kid.

"I went to get some KitKat and got carried away when I was walking back. You know I space out a lot."

She reached her locker and proceeded to place her bag and supplies. She really hoped she looked natural as she spoke; she could barely bring herself to lie to Jungkook, mostly because he would immediately see through her and call her out for it.

"And you didn't bother letting me know?"

"I don't need to tell you every single detail about my life."

"You know I worry."

"Well, you don't have to."

"How could I not? Jana, we dropped you off at ten and you were missing till twelve. What if something bad happened to you?"

"Look, I already had that talk with Seokjin. I don't need to hear this again." She stepped back with a flinch when her locker slammed shut as soon as she placed her supplies.

"Jungkook, what the fuck!" She stared at him with her eyes opened wide. His own eyes were narrowed and sharp. Jana could only look away, anxiety taking over her.

"Don't look at me like that." She muttered as she returned to open her locker and grab her pencil case and a notebook.

"It scares you, doesn't it"

"No. . ."
It did. It always intimidated her when Jungkook got serious, especially since he'd mostly be all smiley and playful. But there was no way she would admit that to him.

"Since when did you start lying to me?" He said calmly, a hint of sadness in his tone.

She could only stay silent after hearing that. She hated when she had to lie to him; they both had promised to always stay truthful, always. But she didn't plan on telling him what was wrong any time soon. Not a year ago and definitely not now. She knew Jungkook had good intentions, but telling him would only stress him out and wouldn't do any good for her; she would just worry more about him.

"Jana-"

"Jungkook, nothing happened okay? I'm safe, I'm fine."

He stared at her with a blank face, still skeptical about her reply. He knew how good of liar she could be, but if anyone could see through her it would be Jungkook. Jana was internally praying that he would just let it go, but knowing Jungkook, he would never give up until he got the answer he wanted. With yet another heavy sigh, she wrapped her arms around him. He flinched at the sudden action but instantly relaxed.

"If anything wrong happens, you'll be the first one I call, Jungkook. I promise."

"You promise?" He asked as he wrapped her arms around her, returning her hug.

"I promise."

"You better keep that promise."

"I will." she smiled.

"Okay, now that this k-drama is over," he quickly pulled away and tugged at her sleeve so that she would follow him. "let's go to the cafeteria, I'm starving."

"Ah! Wait," He stopped and looked at her as she continued. "I have to go to the library. I want to revise a few chemistry lessons, quarter exams are approaching."

"But, what about lunch? You can't eat in the library."

"Don't worry about that. I'm not really hungry, I had a big breakfast."

"Oh, alright then. Can you come over today? We haven't hung out together in a while."

"Yes, of course. I'll have to go home first, though, so don't wait for me."

"Yay. Alright, good luck with your studying." He showed his wide smile that showed his bunny teeth as he turned to leave for the cafeteria, waving at her as he walked away.

She waved back and turned around, irritatedly sighing as her face fell into a grim visage. She started to get easily stressed again. She mentally reviewed the things she had to do: she had to study for the exams, do the extra chemistry assignments, and give Jimin his notes. Not to mention practice the choreography and meet up with Jungkook after school. She'd have to stop by Jimin's house first before making it to Jungkook's. Speaking of Jungkook, lying to him seemed to add up to her stress. The last thing she wanted was for her relationship with him to fall apart, and lying always leads to chaos. But she was lying for a good cause, right? It's not like it was any of his business anyway, she shouldn't feel bad.

Chapter Text

It was late in the afternoon when Hoseok bid his classmates goodbye and started on his way back to his house. He slowly let his bright smile fall, a grim look taking over. Yes, he was faking it. Faking his lovely signature smile. Faking enthusiasm. Faking happiness. He faked it all to keep those around him cheerful and hopeful. But the thing was, he was not aware of it all being fake. To him, it was just attempting to stay optimistic. If his friends couldn't be hopeful, he could at least make it a bit brighter for them, lying to himself and unaware of his real emotions. He arrived at his house and started looking around.

Great, dad isn't home.

He then walked up the stairs to his room, dropping his backpack on the floor by his desk and turning on his speakers. He played his usual go-to song and started dancing.

Now when it came to Hoseok, dancing was his everything. His passion, his happiness, his obsession. Just put him in a room with music and he'd be soaring. Creating combinations of dance moves and moving precisely to the beat were his comfort zone. He knew it was what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. That was the reason why he so badly wanted to win the dance competition. It was a chance for him to get a scholarship for his dream major.
He suddenly halted his movements when he heard the sound of keys clinking and a door closing. He quickly turned off the speakers and hurried to his desk to open his physics textbook and pretended to study. Not long after he had settled down on his chair, the door to his room opened viewing the tall figure of his father. Hoseok's father was the epitome of a strict parent, carrying his sharp, stoic grimace everywhere he went. He was hard on Hoseok under the impression of wanting the best for him, completely overlooking the heartbroken state of his son as he degraded his dreams and dismissed them as a "rebellious phase" and a "silly hobby".

"What were you doing just now?" His stone cold voice echoed around the room, making Hoseok tense up in his seat.

"Umm, studying."

"Don't lie to me, boy. I could hear the music playing just a second ago. When are you going to stop playing around and get serious?"

"I'm being serious, dad. I want to major in dancing. I'm working hard to get a scholar-"

"When are you going to stop this none sense!" His sudden outburst made Hoseok flinch and lower his gaze to the floor. "Dancing is but a measly hobby, you need to study hard so that you can become an engineer or a lawyer. Something that will actually benefit you in the future." Seeing as Hoseok didn't plan on answering any time soon, his father went on.

"Why did I get a call from your school saying that you're failing physics? Do you really need me to get involved in your life?"

As if you're not.

"If I get a call like that again, I'm going to take away your phone and speakers and forbid you from going to the gym again. Get real and start working. Unbelievable." He muttered the last part as he left the room and closed the door behind him.

Hoseok relaxed his back against the chair and looked up at the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling, trying his best not to let his tears leak. This was not the first time they had that same conversation, but it always had the same outcome. Hoseok didn't understand his father at all. Why did he hate dancing so much? Why did he hate it when Hoseok did what he loved? Why would he be so harsh. Hoseok always dismissed his father's rigorous words and worked hard to prove his father wrong; however his father's words this time seemed to affect him more than usual. A gloomy, overwhelming feeling seemed to take over him. Despair. He started to feel desperate. His father would never agree with him on anything and would probably force him into a field he hated. Hoseok decided to put all those negative emotions aside, turning to the mirror and showing off his bright smile.

"I can do this." He muttered.

He then focused back on his physics book and started studying. Maybe if he showed some improvement, his father would be willing to at least listen?
Yeah, small chance but at least worth the try.

***

Two hours had passed and Hoseok started burning out from solving too many physics questions. Hoseok was known to be the social butterfly who befriended everyone; never ever had he had any enemies. Or so he thought. He had apparently found his arch enemy.
Fuck you, physics. 
He let out a groan and leaned back in his chair, stretching his stiff muscles. He was not used to sitting down for so long; he would have to get up and move around or at least fidget in his seat.

He grabbed his wallet and moved his feet towards the door and out of the house without informing his father; he knew he wouldn't care about his whereabouts. He just wanted to enforce his beliefs and ideas on Hoseok and make him become the perfect son he imagined him to be. He walked around to the convenient store, purchased an energy drink then made his way to a bench nearby. The dance competition was the only thing on his mind. He dismissed his physics homework and his father's outburst earlier and only focused on what he deemed important. The winners of the competition would be given a one year scholarship to the Seoul Fine Arts and Music School as well as prize money. That was his dream. He could not let that chance slide. He had to win. Especially since he knew that his father would not be willing to help him.

He snapped out of his thoughts when his eyes fell on a familiar figure walking on the pavement across the street. The usual shoulder length, golden brown hair, earphones in as she bopped her head to the beat and the mesmerizing smile he memorized by heart.
There goes that weird feeling again.
He'd been getting that certain feeling quite frequently lately. Every time they would practice, his eyes would unconsciously land on her and observe her every move. He would smile whenever she smiled, and feel the constant need of being in her presence. He wanted her attention, got upset when she would talk about other guys. He knew he shouldn't feel that way; she was his girl best friend. But it wasn't under his control. He just wanted her. He let out a deep sigh.

Why do I like you?

Chapter Text

Jana was on her way back from Jimin's house. After dropping off his notes and checking on him, she planned to leave but was stopped by Jimin asking her to stay with him for some time. She could not refuse. She wanted to make sure he was okay. She knew he wouldn't suddenly be okay, and she was willing to stay beside him as he got himself together.

Jana and Jimin were very similar. In fact, what differentiated between them was a very trivial detail. They both overworked themselves, they both hated their image, they both starved. The only difference was that Jimin was driven by perfectionism, while Jana was driven by insecurities. And in the end, they both thought they weren't enough. As soon as Jana listened to Jimin talk about his struggles, she could immediately relate. And so she endeavored to help him no matter what. Of course she didn't know that she herself would crash in the process, but she didn't mind. As long as it meant that Jimin would be alright, she didn't mind. She would figure something out for herself later. She left Jimin's house an hour later then started on her way to Jungkook's. She had promised him to hangout after all; they hadn't gotten the chance to meet as often as they used to due to exams approaching and their constant dance practice sessions.

She felt a tap on her shoulder that made her stop in place. Taking off her earphones, she turned around to see her friend smiling at her.

"Yo, J-hope! What's up?"

"Just taking a small break from studying. What about you?"

"On my way to Jungkook. He's been whining and rushing me for the past hour." She laughed.

"Jungkook, of course," The same unsettling feeling built up within him once again but he just shrugged it off. "Anyway, how is the choreography going for you? I hope I'm not pushing you too hard."

"Oh, It's fine. I think I pretty much got it but I'll keep practicing just in case."

"Yeah, who said we're stopping?" He chuckled. She laughed along but abruptly stopped.

"But, Hobi."
He stopped to take in her expression. She suddenly got serious.
"We need more breaks. Honestly I don't understand why we practice this much when we still have the second quarter. I don't mind practicing long hours a day but we need a couple of days off in between. Besides, we're busy with our everyday life, too."

"But we still need to practice hard! You're saying that we still have two months to practice but they will be up before you know it. And you can always manage your time, it won't be that hard."

"Look, you're all good dancers. And I'm quite decent if I do say so myself. Having more off days won't hinder us at all. Jimin and Jungkook also have their limits. If you push them too much they'll burn out."

Hoseok furrowed his eyebrows, an unpleased expression settling on his face.

"Why does none of you want to work hard? You are all taking it easy. If we are as good as you claim we wouldn't have lost last year. You have no idea how much this means to me!!"
She flinched as he suddenly yelled. Saying that she was startled would be an understatement. She had never heard Hoseok shout before.

"Hoseok, calm down. We all know how important this is for you, and we're doing our best to help you. But you can't just dismiss our hard work like that. Just because we whine about it doesn't mean we're slacking off."

"That's what it seems like, though."

"For asking for more breaks?! Seriously, Hoseok?"

"You don't want to practice with me. Do you even want this for me?"

"I did not say I don't want to practice, are you even listening to me! Why are you being so unreasonable right now?" She tried to keep up her calm demeanor. It wouldn't be good if they were both yelling. She sighed and reached out to place a hand on his shoulder.

"Hoseok-" He slapped her hand away before it reached him, making her eyes go wide in response.

"Fuck off."

She slowly retracted her hand and stared him down with narrowed eyes, her tongue poking the inside of her left cheek. She was livid. Hoseok took notice of her glare and felt deeply regretful about his previous action.

"Jana-"

"I don't know what the fuck happened for you to act like that, but you will not talk to me in that way. Come talk to me when you've gotten back your senses." She turned around and took a few steps away. Hoseok snapped out of his daze and followed after her.

"Wait!" He took her hand in his and turned her to face him. "I'm sorry... please don't go."

"Why? You just told me to fuck off."

"No, I didn't-"

"You just told me off for something I didn't do."

"I know, I'm just-"

"No, Hoseok. I'm leaving." She tried to leave but Hoseok didn't loosen his grip.

"Look, I'm not gonna stand here as you dismiss everything I did for you. I don't need your gratitude but a little appreciation would be-"

"I like you." Jana stopped talking and only stared at him with wide eyes.

"What..?"

"I- I like you. A lot. Please, don't be mad at me." He let go of her hand and shifted uncomfortably on his feet, he could not believe what he just blurted out himself. His eyes lay on her, observing her shocked face. She quickly regained herself, looking somewhat deadpan.

"Why are you saying this now?"

"I can't ignore it anymore." He turned his face to the side and fiddled with his fingers. His face started heating up, and he couldn't face her.

"Hoseok. . ."

"You're going to reject me." He stated as he shifted back to look at her. It was her turn to look away.

"I'm sorry, you know I don't see you in that way," She took a step towards him and placed her hand on his arm in a comforting manner. "This is kind of out of the blue. Did something happen? Like are you okay? Did your dad-"
She was cut off when he harshly pushed her away.

"Stop acting so concerned, I don't need your pity!"

"What? Hoseok-" She was about to approach him again but stopped in her track when she noticed his glassy eyes and tear stained face.

He seemed to have noticed and hid his face in his elbow as he turned to the opposite side and ran away. She could only watch as his figure kept shrinking until it disappeared out of sight. She decided to give him some space, and give herself some space while she was at it. It was all too much for her. Her hands were already full with everything that was happening in addition to her destructive thoughts. Now a fight with her friend and a love confession were added to the pile.
Great. Just great.

***

"Took you long enough!"

"Stop being dramatic, Kook."

"Why did you not accept any of my calls?"

"You kept blasting my phone so I put it on silent."

"The audacity of some people."

She laughed as she took off her shoes at the entrance then walked past Jungkook to the stairs, making her way to his room with him following after her. She made herself comfortable on the bed while Jungkook was closing the door and turning on the air conditioner.

"Can you lend me a hoodie? I haven't changed my clothes"

"Then what the fuck took you so long?" He moved over to his closet to grab a black oversized hoodie that would probably reach her knees.

"I got caught up in something."

He slowly closed the door to his closet and turned to look at her, holding the hoodie in his left hand.

"What happened?"

"Nothing serious, don't worry about it." She replied as she grabbed the hoodie and went over to the bathroom that was connected to his room.

"If it's nothing serious, then it won't be a problem telling me."

"Just start the game, JK." With that she disappeared behind the bathroom door.

Jungkook bit the inside of his cheek as he turned on his Xbox and grabbed the game consoles from a drawer below the T.V screen. He didn't like how she just dismissed him like that and surely did not believe her when she said that it wasn't a serious matter. Something was definitely off, and she was not telling him. Did she not trust him enough?
Why is she distancing herself from me.

He decided to let it go and just enjoy their time. They hadn't hung out alone in a while, and he wasn't going to ruin their day by pushing it. Thirty minutes had passed and they were still at each other's throats, each of them trying to kill the other's character. They were sitting on the floor in front of the large screen with their backs against the bed.

"Oh, fuck this shit." She cursed as her character died for the fifth time.

"You really suck at this. Didn't you say you liked Mortal Combat?"

"Whatever, I was never good at video games anyway." She threw her game console on the bed and pulled the hood above her head then leaned against Jungkook's shoulder.

"Do you want to watch a movie instead?" He suggested.

"Sure, whatcha got?"

"Iron man."

"Ugh not again."

"What! It's legendary."

"Not when you've watched it twenty five times and still counting."

They were interrupted by the sound of knocking followed by the turning of the door knob.

"Hello, kids." Mrs. Jeon walked in, holding a tray with two plates of strawberry cake and two cups of tea as well as some other snacks.

"Oh, let me help with that, auntie." Jana stood up and took hold of the tray to place it on the bed side table.

"Look at how polite and well mannered she is. Learn a thing or two, Jungkook."

"Yeah yeah sure." He rolled his eyes before grabbing a bag of chips and opening it.

"If you need anything else, call me."

"Thank you, Auntie!"

Jana took a seat beside Jungkook on the bed and grabbed the remote to choose a movie.

"ThAnK YoU, aUnTIe~" He mocked before swiftly grabbing her hand, stopping her from smacking him on the head.

"Damn you and your fast reflexes."

He laughed and freed her hand then grabbed a plate with a slice of strawberry cake and handed it to her. She glanced at the plate for a second before hesitantly accepting it. Jungkook started the movie, which was End Game, then rested his back against the bed's headboard.Jana still hadn't taken her eyes off the cake. She suddenly had the urge to cry, and she was confused as to why.

It's just some cake. Why are you so afraid? Nothing will happen.

She brought her focus back to the screen and started taking small bites of the cake. About midway through the movie, she felt distressed and on the verge of a breakdown. She placed the plate back on the tray and excused herself to the bathroom. She locked the door and rested her back against it. Her hands slid up into her hair as she clutched her head. Water rapidly filled her eyes, and she couldn't control the overwhelming feeling of guilt and discomfort. Then she focused her sight upon the toilet seat.

It's been two years.... Should I?

Her feet seemed to have a mind of their own as she moved towards the toilet seat. She stopped thinking, though the shaking of her body hadn't ceased. She brought her left hand to her mouth while the right one rested on the wall. 

"Jana?"

She jumped and abruptly shifted her gaze to the door.

"You've been in there for a while are you okay?"

"Yes, yes. I'm coming." She opened the faucet and began to wash her hands and face.

What do you think you're doing? You can't relapse, you can't.

She dried her hands when she was done and made sure she didn't look like she was crying then retreated from the bathroom.

Chapter Text

“Shoes on, get up in the morn', cup of milk, let's rock and roll~“
The sound of the alarm rang through the room. Jana groaned and shifted around in her bed.

"I don't want to fucking rock and roll, shut the fuck up." She grabbed her phone and violently swiped to snooze but didn't go back to sleep. Instead, her eyes were open and focused on the ceiling. She mentally reviewed what she had to do for the day. Well, she had school for starters. She really hoped that Jimin would be there; classes without him were boring and unbearable. She had to turn in her extra chemistry assignments; fortunately, she was able to finish those fast and could finally be free from torture. Temporarily.

"Ah shoot!" She grumbled when she remembered that they had a practice session after school. She didn't want to see Hoseok so early after their incident two days ago; she couldn't predict how he would react, and she definitely didn't need any additional problems. Jana was astounded at how things could drastically change in a time period of less than a week. Her fight with her close friend whom she never thought would ever have any sort of disagreements with and her disorder that came crawling back to her. 

Why did all this happen? 

She decided to stop overthinking for once and get on with her day. She finally got off the bed and headed to the bathroom to take a warm shower. She was stupid for believing that her mind could shut up for even just a minute. As soon as she got under the water, she found herself swallowed in a hurricane of her own thoughts. 

I'll have to leave before Seokjin starts with breakfast. Maybe I'll jog a little before school starts. Should I grab a small snack on the way? . . . Nah. Sigh, Jungkook will ask me about lunch again. Whatever, I'll just go to the library before he finishes his class. Hopefully he doesn't bring another pizza. How the heck does he like pineapple on his pizza, that psycho. Oh didn't Jungkook cut a pineapple with his bare hands before? I wonder if I can split an apple in half with just my hands. How many calories are in an apple again? I should ask Jimin to study with me later. Ughh, I don't want to go to school.

***

The faint smell of books and coffee encircled the place. Little sounds of people flipping papers and typing on their keyboards worked as background music as Jana jotted down some notes. She was in a public library with Jimin after their school day was over, studying and reviewing some notes since their exams would start in less than two weeks. They had one more hour before meeting up with Jungkook and Hoseok to practice their choreography. Again. 

"Can you tell Hobi that I won't be able to come today too?" Jimin whispered as to not disturb the other people sitting on the table. 

"Did something happen?"

"No, Just granny needs my help today. She's moving back to Busan for a while." 

Jana gave him an 'ok' sign then got back to reading from the text book. Hoseok would most probably snap, accusing them of being lazy and taking it easy again. She sighed at the thought; she didn't want to deal with any arguments again. Jana had always been the mediator keeping everyone in check and avoiding any sort of dispute as much as she could, so clashing with someone, let alone a close friend, was extremely irritating for her. 

She snapped out of her thoughts when she heard the door open, a tall guy with wavy magenta hair coming into view. She trailed her eyes along his each movement as he set his laptop and cup of coffee on the other end of the table she was seated at and sat down himself. She returned to look at her textbook when he started typing away on his laptop. Her eyes were scanning the words, but her mind couldn't grasp any information. She was physically and emotionally drained and couldn't process what she was supposed to be studying. She sighed and placed her head on the table, a little break wouldn't hurt anyone. Jimin took off his headphones and tapped her shoulder.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," she replied with her head still on the table.

"Do you want me to get you some water?"

"That would be nice, yeah." 

He nodded as he grabbed his wallet and headed to the exit. Jana closed her eyes and let the feeble background sounds lull her to sleep. She stayed up the entire night finishing the extra chemistry assignments, not that she could sleep anyway. 

"Oh shit!" 

She jolted awake upon hearing that and lifted her head; her eyes scanned the end of the table where the purple head from earlier was seated. She saw him standing up while holding his laptop with one hand and coffee stained paper with the other; some of the brown liquid dripped down the edge of the table. His action attracted some attention before they got back to their own business. She grabbed a packet of wipes from her bag and hurried to his side. She gave him the packet after she took hold of his laptop and placed it on a coffee free part of the table. She then helped him clean the spilt coffee and discarded the used wipes in the bin. 

"And that's why food and drinks aren't allowed here, purple boy." 

She heard him laugh slightly before speaking. 

"Thanks for the help. You're Jana, right?" His voice was soft and soothing yet so deep, complementing his warm visage and the gentle smile his face portrayed.

"Oh, do I know you?" She tilted her head to the side in confusion.

"I graduated from your high school last year," He folded his paper sheets and placed his laptop back in front of him as he sat down in his previous seat. "You were quite popular. Name's Namjoon, by the way."

"Oh," 

That's why he seemed familiar. 

"Weren't you the head of the newspaper club?" She pulled out the chair beside him and sat down. 

"Yup, that's me. What were you studying just now?"

"Ugh, chemistry. I hope whoever discovered it burns in hell." 

"Why, I actually quite liked it." She stared at him in disbelief. 

"You're a psychopath. Are you majoring in chemistry then?"

"No, I'm actually in English literature and creative writing," He opened a tab on his laptop and tilted it to his left so that she could see it. "I was analyzing a poem and working on one of my own." 

"Wow, that's so cool. I like poetry."

"Really? What's your favorite poem?"

"Edgar Allan Poe's The raven."

"Great choice, I personally enjoy it, too. Have you thought about what you want to do by the way?"

"I wanted to be a doctor, but after my amazing journey with chemistry I'm not so sure anymore." 

He laughed again at her reply.

"I say go for it, it will get easier with time."

Before she could respond, Jana saw Jimin heading back towards the table. He glanced at her before setting the water bottle on the table and sitting back in his seat; he put on his headphones again and started reading. 

"Well, better get back to studying. I took a long enough break." She got up and was about to move to her own seat when she was stopped.

"Wait," Namjoon grabbed a post-it note and wrote something down before handing it to her. "My number, in case you need any help with chemistry or anything else."

His dimples appeared as he smiled. She smiled back at him and nodded then went back to her seat. Jimin gave her the water bottle as she sat down. She thanked him and placed the note inside her bag. She was about to take a sip of water when she felt two eyes burning holes in her head. As she turned to look at her friend, she noticed the playful smirk that crept on his face. He rested his cheek on his palm and his elbow on the table. 

"What?"

"Scored yourself a date, huh?"

"Shut up, you idiot," She slapped his arm then took a sip of water and placed the bottle on the floor beside her bag. "You know I don't date." 

He laughed before he shifted his attention back to the torturing tool in front of him, a chemistry text book, and they both got back to studying. After what felt like years, the hour was finally up and the two friends parted ways. To say that Jana was ready for practice wouldn't be the truth; she felt rather exhausted and all she wanted was to stay cooped up in her bed while listening to soft music, but it wasn't like she had a choice. Even after the events that had taken place a couple of days before, She wanted to talk to Hoseok as well and try to reconcile with him. 

She arrived at her destination and proceeded towards the dance room. Upon opening the door, she was met with Jungkook stretching on the floor and Hoseok scrolling through his phone. Jungkook smiled and waved at her while Hoseok didn't spare her a glance. She reached a corner of the room to place her bag and water bottle down before turning to look at the brunette whose eyes were glued to the phone screen. 

"Hoseok,"

He hummed in acknowledgment but his gaze didn't lift.

"Jimin can't come today. His grandma needs him." 

Hoseok sighed but didn't speak though it was clear that he was annoyed. Jungkook shifted his gaze back and forth between the two; the tension between them was not inconspicuous. He decided to stay silent and ask Jana about it later. Jana tied her flannel around her waist and pulled her hair back into a low ponytail then joined them in the middle of the room as Hoseok started the music. They moved to the beat, sliding left then right and rotating. Everything was good so far; they were doing all the correct moves in sync. Then came a part where they were supposed to switch formation. Jana was sliding to the left as she usually did when she felt a vast pressure from her left, and in a second she was on the floor. 

"What the fuck!" She groaned. As she looked up, she found Hoseok towering over her with a neutral face. 

"You did the move wrong." Not a second passed after the words left Hoseok's mouth before he saw Jungkook yanking him by his collar.

"Apologize. Now." Jungkook growled and tightened his grip. 

"Why should I apologize when she does a wrong move?" Hoseok said bleakly, completely unbothered.

"You pushed her, jerk. So fucking apologize!"  

"Cut the crap, Jungkook. Aren't you tired of playing the protective boyfriend role all the time?" His tone was harsh as he spoke, vexation apparent in his voice. He attempted to move out of Jungkook's hold but he wouldn't budge. 

"Are you out of your goddamn mind!" Jungkook lifted his right hand in an attempt to hit him but was stopped by Jana pulling it back.

"Jungkook," Her tone was sharp and stern, immediately catching his attention. "Leave it." 

He stared at her for a few seconds before returning to glare at Hoseok and shoving him back. 

"You either apologize or Jana and I will be out that door. And best of luck with your godforsaken competition."  

Hoseok stilled as his face shifted from his previous blank expression into shock. He didn't utter a word but was quick to grab his phone and bag and storm out of the room. Jungkook irritatedly exhaled, still angry at the events that had just occurred. He turned to look at Jana as she stepped towards her bag.

"What the heck was that?"

"I don't know," She replied nonchalantly as she grabbed her water bottle. "He's probably just stressed. You know the whole beef with his dad."

Jungkook's glare hadn't ceased though its target had changed.

Why are you not telling me?

"You know what," He stomped over to his own bag, grabbed it, and headed to the exit as well. "Come find me when you decide to be honest." 

With that being said, he disappeared behind the door, leaving Jana alone to ponder whatever just happened.

So much for reconciliation. Sigh. 

Chapter Text

The first thing Jana did when she woke up one morning was take a shower and check her weight on the scale. It had become a routine now. She would eat as close to nothing as possible the entire day then weigh herself the following morning. And if she did eat, a horrible feeling of guilt would soon follow. Guilt. It's an emotion known to be felt when one does a wrong deed. So why did she feel guilty every time she ate? Why did she feel like she was committing a horrible crime when all she did was a normal action to survive? Eating is an essential part of living, yet Jana somehow feared it. How ironic it is to be afraid of something that keeps you alive. Despite its importance, She liked to refer to it as a form of hypocrisy.
Why does food look, smell, and taste good, but makes me look bad in the end. Food is so hypocritical.  

Exams week was a couple of days away, and it's safe to say that Jana was panicking. She had no idea why; she wasn't the type to stress over exams, but for some reason she was getting really anxious about the chemistry exam specifically.

 "Chemistry should be considered a cause of depression and anxiety" she'd say. 

She stood on the scale and observed the number shown below. 

47.6. I lost 7 kilograms in two weeks. That's normal, right? Who am I kidding, it's not. It's going downhill. Still not enough, though. 

She stepped down and began putting on her outfit for the day, which consisted of black leggings with the oversized black hoodie she stole from Jungkook and black sneakers. Fortunately, it was Saturday, so she decided to spend the entire day at the gym practicing. Alone. Her conflict with Hoseok the other day was not yet resolved, and it hadn't once left her mind. She hated fighting with people close to her, but lately that seemed to happen quite a lot. Jungkook seemed off recently as well; she made a mental note to check on him later. She decided to shut her mind for a while and left her room, pacing towards the door to head out. 

"Where do you think you're going?" 

Of course her pretend mom had to interfere. Again. 

"Just gonna walk around."

"No breakfast again? It's been two weeks."

"How long do you plan on acting like my mother? You're not obliged to care, you know." She heard him sigh and walk over to where she stood by the door.

"I do care. I have to. You're my responsibility for the time being," He looked away and scratched his head before mumbling in a soft voice. "And I'm sorry for being rude to you when you first came. I just had a lot on my plate at the time and didn't want to deal with anyone. Yoongi being an exception that is." 

To say that she was shocked would be an understatement. Seokjin? Her narcissistic temporary guardian? Apologizing? That definitely broke her daily routine. 

"Oh, apology accepted then. I understand. Although it would be better if you can control your emotions and not lash out at anyone who hadn't done anything wrong to you."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. You can have this free meal voucher from my cafe."

"Ayy, thanks!! I shall use it wisely." She went on one knee and bowed her head as she received it, as if she was a knight receiving a sword in a fantasy book. Seokjin could only laugh at her actions and sudden bubbly persona.

"Stop being dumb and get up." 

"Hey! What happened to not being rude!"

"Oh, we're friends now. I can insult you whenever I want."

"Bitch!"

"Language!" 

"This is hopeless. Anyway, I'll get going."

"Still no breakfast? You look so skinny nowadays. Are you eating well?"

"Yes, don't worry about me. I'll just grab something from the convenient store as I walk." No, she wasn't going to do that. 

"Okay, then. Stay safe. And be back for lunch, I'll make bibimbap." 

"Alright. Bye, Seokjin!"

"Just call me Jin!" She managed to hear as she shut the door. She smiled and proceeded towards the elevator. At least that was one thing out of the way; she didn't have to worry about her constant quarrels with Seokjin anymore. Maybe things were getting a bit better after all.

***

She tied her shoulder length hair back then slid across the slippery wooden floor to plug in her phone, attaching it to the sound system in the practice room. She was ready to click on play when her phone started ringing.
Yoongi.

She frowned as she stared at the caller ID. A few seconds passed and the phone was still ringing. She unplugged her phone from the speakers and decided to finally pick up; she couldn't keep on ignoring Yoongi like that. The last time she had seen him was that day they went with Jungkook to EatJin. 

"Hey, Yoongi!" She answered with what used to be her usual cheerful tone. 

"Hello, Jana. It's been a while, how are you doing?" 

"I'm great. You?"

"Good. So what are you doing now?"

"Oh. . umm. Just taking a walk around the building. I'll head home in a minute." 

"Really? I didn't know you had to go through the practice room in the gym to get home."

". . . What?"

"Turn around, honey." She turned around only to find Yoongi standing by the door; he removed  his phone from his right ear and hung up. 

"Yoongi. . . what are you doing here?" 

"Came to join you on your walk." 

"Very funny. How did you even know I'm here?"

"How about we sit down and eat first then I can answer your questions. I need to ask about a few things as well."

"Oh, you brought pizza." She had an unsettling look on her face as she stared at the square looking box that contained the meal full of grease and an unnecessarily high amount of calories. 

"I got some Diet Coke since you seem to be on a diet these days." He said in an almost sarcastic tone. 

She only gawked at him as he walked over to a corner and sat on the floor then leaned his back against the wall. He opened the pizza box and patted the space beside him, signaling for her to sit next to him. She followed his gesture and moved over to sit beside him. She reached out for the Diet Coke, opening it and taking a few sips. Yoongi picked up a slice and handed it over to her. She received it while muttering a small 'thank you'. She had no appetite whatsoever, but she wasn't going to refuse the food offered to her. 

"Yoongi, why are you here?"

"You've been ignoring me for the past two weeks so I called Jin to ask about you. He said you went out. So here I am."

"How did you know I'd be here of all places. . ."

"I saw you entering from across the street. I see you often on my way back from the studio, mostly late at night. Mind explaining why?"

"Practicing, we have a dance competition coming up."

"Is it necessary to practice until that late?"

"Not really no."

"Then?"

"Why are you suddenly meddling with my business?" She snapped. He stayed silent at her sudden outburst.

"Sorry for meddling then. But I won't shut up about you eating almost nothing for two weeks."

"I-"

"Look, it's okay if you don't want to talk to me. I won't push you or ask for any explanation. I'm aware it's not my place. Just don't try to lie to me. It's useless since I already know, and it makes you look pathetic to be honest." 

She only stared back at him. Pathetic? She would not deny that. She herself felt pathetic for lying all the time. It made the feeling of guilt ten times worse, but she always reminded herself that she didn't owe anyone an explanation. It was simply none of their concern. He noticed her silence then realized what he had said and slightly panicked.

"Wait, I didn't mean-"

"How did you know about me skipping meals?" She asked rather calmly, her tone monotonous. He sighed as he took his eyes off her and looked straight ahead; he was not used to that numb, blank expression of hers. Distress was evident on her face, replacing her usual gentle, cheerful expression.

"I was talking to Jungkook one time when he was at the studio with me. He complained about you not eating lunch with him in the cafeteria anymore 'cause you have breakfast with Jin. On another occasion, Jin was complaining to me about having to eat alone 'cause apparently you don't eat neither breakfast nor lunch at home anymore. I just connected the dots." 

"I could be really getting food somewhere else, you know. What you did was basically act upon assumptions."

"True, I didn't really think much of it at first, but then I saw you walking to or from the gym many times. That alone was a dead giveaway. Not to mention suddenly isolating yourself from even Jungkook. The pattern was very clear. Seeing you up close now, you really did lose a lot of weight."

"You're such a stalker." She let out a humorless chuckle and shifted her gaze to the floor in front of her. 

"Well, I'd like to say it's for the greater good," He grabbed his soda can and took a sip. "So, is there anything you'd like to talk about?"

She placed her pizza slice back in the box; she had only taken one bite and the voice was screaming at her to rush to the nearest bathroom and throw it up. Her mind was but a jumble of thoughts running around in circles. She had tried her best hiding from Jungkook, Jimin, and Hoseok, but it never occurred to her that Yoongi would be the most dangerous one. She had only known him for a little over a month, and yet he seemed to already know her so well. How? Was he that observant?

"I hate it, Yoongi," She gave up and let her repressed tears slide down her cheeks. "I hate it so much" 

"What is it?"

"I hate that the first thing I think about when I wake up is how I would avoid eating. I hate overworking myself to the point that breathing alone is an exercise. I hate the satisfaction I get from seeing the numbers drop on the scale. I hate that voice that tells me to throw everything up. I hate overthinking everything. I hate doubting and criticizing myself. I hate thinking that I'm not good enough. I hate hiding and lying. I hate lying to Jungkook. I hate fighting with Hoseok. I hate leaving Jimin alone when he needs me. I hate having to pretend that it's all okay. I hate that I'm crying about this right now when it should all have been over last year. I hate it." At that point, she was full on sobbing. She brought her sleeves up to her eyes to wipe her tears but they just kept going. Yoongi didn't say anything, rather he pushed the pizza box out of the way and moved closer, placing his right hand on her back and patting her a few times in a comforting manner. 

"I was diagnosed with an eating disorder two years ago," She continued. "I took some medication for it and it went away a year after. I was fine for the past year. Why is it back now?"

"You know a disorder doesn't really go away, you just learn how to cope with it and live a healthy life style while you still have it."

"I know. I just blinded myself with unrealistic expectations." 

"Do you want me to tell you what I think, or do you want me to just listen?"

"At this point I don't really care so tell me if you have something to say."

"Okay, look. I'm not trying to invalidate how you feel or what you're struggling with, but just know that no matter what it all passes by and we move on. You're struggling so much now, but when it's over you'll look back to it and feel proud that you have overcome it. Like last year."

"But what if it comes back? I don't want to relapse again."

"About that, my only advice for you is to consult your psychiatrist again. It's a serious issue and it will only worsen if you let it be." He saw her nodding before resting her head on his shoulder. She felt oddly comfortable with Yoongi even though she knew him for a month only. He had that weird comforting vibe, and she didn't mind talking to him about these struggles. He proved to be quite understanding as well; she just hoped she wouldn't regret opening up.

"And about your feeling of self invalidity. I hope you do know that those thoughts are just coming from your insecurities. It doesn't mean it's real. I can tell you work hard and strive to become the best version of yourself. We all have our moments of feeling insecure, and that's okay, but if we let them control us, we'll never move forward. So if you feel like it's too much, don't let those thoughts convince you to give up. It won't be easy, but have this engraved in your heart. If you think you're gonna crash, accelerate even harder, you idiot." He ruffled her hair totally messing it up, earning a soft giggle in response. 

"You did not just reference your own song."

"What if I did? I'm quite proud of that one."

"Yes, I like it a lot, too. You did a great job."

"Oh, you stopped crying already? I haven't even taken a photo." 

"Yikes, why would you even do that, you psycho."

"Well, you're not an ugly cryer surprisingly."

"Excuse me? Surprisingly?"

"Yeah, since you're ugly on the daily so-"

"Oh my god! You've been spending too much time with Jungkook," She lifted her head and untied her hair, sliding her fingers through it to fix it. "I thought you'd be the one influencing him not the other way around."

"He's such a cute kid, I can't tell him no for shit." 

"Disappointed but not surprised. I agree, that's Jungkook's effect, I guess." 

"Speaking of Jungkook, you've been indifferent towards him recently. And he noticed. I know you're stressed now but maybe try to explain it to him."

"I am aware of that," She sighed. "I've only been distant 'cause I didn't want him to question me about it too much. And I don't want to tell him about my disorder, he'll only worry more and become too careful."

"It's up to you, but try to clear any misunderstandings as soon as you can. I don't want you guys to fight."

She nodded and took back her abandoned pizza slice and took another bite. One slice wouldn't cause much damage, would it?

Yes, it would. You haven't eaten in a while, you'll gain weight.
But you can't refuse, that's rude. Yoongi went out of his way to get it. 
Well, no one really asked him to. 
Ugh, just shut up and eat. Dammit

"How are you feeling now?" Yoongi asked as he grabbed another pizza slice.

"A bit better. Thank you so much for this."

"No problem. You can talk to me whenever."

"Same goes for you. But on a happier note, I'm going to Egypt in ten days, right after I finish my quarter exams. Jungkook is coming with me, too."

"Oh, that's cool. I'll try to finish the song before then. Won't you miss school ,though?"

"No, we have a ten days break. I'll return three days before the second quarter starts. Speaking of your song, How's it coming along?"

"Oh, right. Jungkook recorded a demo. I'm still working on the track, but so far it's going well. Jungkook's vocals are something else. If I hadn't known him, I would have thought he was already an idol." Yoongi picked up his phone and searched for the demo. 

"Right! I love listening to his voice so much, it's so soothing. He makes vocal covers from time to time."

Yoongi clicked on his phone, and the demo started playing. 

So far away 

If I had a dream, a dream of flying away 

Don't fall away 

If I had a dream, a dream of flying away 

"Ayy, sounds good! I love the melody."

"This is just Jungkook's part. I'll show you the rap when the whole song is complete."

"Looking forward to it. Good luck."

"Thanks. You too with your exams."

Jana took another sip of her drink before looking back at Yoongi and breaking the silence once again. 

"Umm, Yoongi?" He hummed in response 

"You seemed to know about mental disorders, so did," he lifted his head to look at her, slowly munching on his piece of pizza and waiting for her to continue. "Did something happen with you..?" 

She observed as he stilled; his face as always was hard to read, showing only a neutral expression. She immediately regretted her question.

"I- I mean, you don't have to tell me. It's none of my business, I'm sorry for asking." She rambled as she lowered her head to look at the soda can in her hand, fiddling with it. Yoongi's usual neutral face morphed into a rare soft expression, a small smile tugging at his lips. He wiped his hands with some tissues before resting his back against the wall again. 

"I have depression and social anxiety." Jana's head snapped up as he spoke. 

"Had them ever since freshman year of high school. It's under control now, though, so no need to worry, though I do have bad days every now and then." He reassured when he noticed the concerned look she gave him. "And that's why trust me when I say that I understand your pain. An eating disorder came naturally with my depression, so I know how frustrating and energy debilitating it can get." 

"I'm sorry for asking."

"Why? You told me about yourself. It's only fair I share my own experience too, right?"

"No, you don't really owe me anything."

"I know. I wanted to, though. Don't feel like you're prying. If anything it only brings us closer." 

Soon after, they fell into comfortable silence. They continued eating their pizza as Yoongi played some random songs on his phone. Jana felt more relaxed at that moment than she had ever been in weeks. And as she knew she would soon start feeling anxious again, she tried to fully cherish that moment.

Chapter Text

"-kook. . . Jungkook!" 

Jungkook flinched and broke out of his trance. He must've spaced out again. He looked to his left at the blonde guy who was sitting on the other side of the studio.

"You missed the beat, Kook."

"Oh. Sorry, hyung. Let's start again." 

They were recording and re-recording for the following thirty minutes and Jungkook kept messing up. Not once had he gotten the take right. He would either miss the beat or mess up the melody, other times he wouldn't get the notes right, which was quite unusual for him since he had recorded the demo perfectly on first try before.

"Okay, let's take a break. You're definitely distracted."

"No, I'm okay. Let's just continue."

"Come here, Jungkook." 

Jungkook winced at the sharp tone before he took off his headset and set it near the mic. He walked over to sit beside the older man on the leather couch. Yoongi took one of the soda cans he had, opened it, and gave it to the younger who thanked him in return. Jungkook stared at the wall in front of him as he spaced out again, completely ignoring the rambling of his companion.

"Jungkook, are you listening?" 

"Huh, what? Yes, of course." 

Yoongi looked at the boy who had his head down staring at his shoes and sighed.

"What's wrong, Kook?"

The ravenette lifted his head up to glance at Yoongi with his big round eyes that reflected the mix of emotions he felt at that moment. Sad, conflicted, confused, worried. 

"It's Jana. She's not talking to me."

"Did you guys fight?"

"No, not like that. She's hiding something from me."

"Well, does it have anything to do with you?"

"How am I supposed to know? She won't talk to me!" He placed the can on the table roughly, leading it to spill some of its contents on the surface. 

"And I feel like everything is going wrong. Something definitely happened between her and Hobi-hyung. He snapped at her the other day in practice and he never did that before. And I don't even know where Jimin is anymore. I see him in the morning at school but then he disappears. He hasn't come to practice for a while now." His glassy eyes shined under the yellow spotlight in the studio. "It hurts, hyung. Seeing us slowly drift away from each other like that pains me. And none of them ever comes to talk to me. I don't understand why we're suddenly falling apart."

He took a deep breath and leaned back on the couch as he stared at the ceiling. That was what Yoongi was worried about. Yoongi wasn't one for making too many friendships; He struggled a lot with socializing with other people. It reached a point where he decided to give up and accept being on his own. Until Jin decided to intrude with his loud and nosy personality and let himself be a part of Yoongi's life that very first time Yoongi had set foot in the infamous cafe. As annoying as Jin was at the beginning, Yoongi was grateful for the effort he made to become his friend. Friendship was a concept that Yoongi had so much appreciation for, and seeing two close friends like Jana and Jungkook having that conflict was unsettling for him. Maybe he could step in before things got worse. 

"Do you happen to know what's wrong with Jana? She's been way too silent lately." He furrowed his eyebrows when he didn't receive a reply then shifted his gaze towards the elder. Yoongi, as always, kept his blank face; however, his lack of response was enough to raise suspicion within Jungkook. 

"Wait, you do? Did she talk to you?" Jungkook straightened his back and locked his eyes with the elder. His suspicions were confirmed when Yoongi remained silent for the second time. Yoongi was not a fan of lies, yet he wouldn't disclose any information; he wouldn't lie nor would he confirm. 

"Oh, I see now. So she did." Jungkook swiftly got up and took rushed steps towards the door. Yoongi called after him and hastily followed right behind him when he was ignored.

"Jungkook, where are you going?" He placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him only for it to be shoved away.

"Stay away! Who even are you?! Why would she talk to you? She promised she'd call me, so why did she talk to you?!" 

Jungkook was shaking, his sudden tantrum surprising him as much as it did the elder. It was all coming back to him. People turning their backs on him time and time again. People sticking closer to him only to shove him and abandon him when they got what they wanted. The countless times he got slammed into lockers and tripped in the hallways during the years his friend was away. The dark, blurry images of those boys whom he once called his friends laughing at his misery. Everyone walked away. And yet, he did not let any of it affect him. As long as he had his one loyal friend who always stuck by him when he was in pain ever since they were kids, he did not care. He always had her. 
He did. . .  
He used to. . .  
He wasn't sure anymore, and the thought alone brought more unshed tears to his eyes. Jungkook stared at the blonde with narrowed, menacing eyes, showing nothing but hostility and rage. 

"What did she tell you?" 

"It's not my place to tell you. Now please, calm down." Yoongi took a step closer only for the younger to take a step back. His tears finally staining his cheeks as he looked at the floor, with dejection written all over his face. 

"She's replacing me." 

"What?"

"She's not coming over anymore, she doesn't sit with me at lunch anymore, we don't even go to EatJin anymore, heck I don't see her much at school anymore. She's distancing herself from me, and she refuses to talk to me. I gave her multiple chances to explain, I gave her the space she needed. Why is she doing this? Why-" He choked on a sob, it took him a moment to realize that he was crying. He quickly brought his sleeve up to his face, attempting to wipe away all the tears. Yoongi just stepped forward and embraced him with one hand resting on his head and the other patting his back.

"She's not replacing you, Jungkook." 

"Then why is she doing this? She knows she can talk to me whenever. If I did something wrong she can just tell me."

"You didn't do anything."

"Then what!" He snapped and pulled away.

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe it's something personal? She doesn't really have to tell you everything."

"But what would stop her from doing so? We've always shared everything, why is it different this time?"

"Not everything is meant to be shared, she has her own reasons for not saying anything."

"Then how come you know?"

"I simply found out by accident, she didn't willingly come to me. I'm sure if she asks for help, she'll always go to you, Jungkook. That goes without saying. She trusts you, shouldn't you trust her too?" 

Jungkook crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. 

"I don't know. I get she doesn't have to tell me anything, but she ignored me completely. I feel like she doesn't want me there at all. She could've told me that she was dealing with something and I would understand." 

"Why don't you ask her about that, then?"

"Hyung, have you been listening at all? I said she wouldn't answer. I asked her a million times but she would just shrug me off," He sighed in frustration and brought a hand to his hair to slide it back. "I might just wait this one out, see where this whole thing goes. I won't push it anymore." 

Yoongi took Jungkook's hand and pulled him to sit down on the couch once again then handed him some tissues, which Jungkook accepted and wiped his face with. 

"That's a good idea. But don't think that she's purposely trying to hurt you, Jungkook. I'm sure that's the last thing she wants." 

"I know," He muttered. "I'm sorry for yelling earlier, hyung. I was just frustrated."

"It's okay, kid. I know you didn't mean to." He ruffled Jungkook's hair and took his previous seat back on the couch. 

"Why do you keep calling me kid? I'm seventeen!"

"Yeah, still a kid." He laughed when he heard Jungkook whine. 

"Okay, grandpa."

"I'm only three years older than you, but my back pain won't disagree." 

"Nothing seriously gets to you." Jungkook complained. Yoongi smiled, happy to see Jungkook back with his usual attitude. 

"By the way, when are you traveling?"

"In three days. We have our final exam tomorrow." Jungkook grabbed his forgotten drink and took a sip, then reached out for more tissues to wipe the spilt soda from earlier. 

"Try to talk to her again, but if she doesn't want to talk then don't push it. As I said before, not everything can be shared even if you're close." 

"Okay, I will." 

"Great," Yoongi abruptly stood up, startling the other in the process. "Now get your ass behind that mic and start recording. I have other songs to finish for this project."  

Jungkook smiled in response and headed to the headset and put it on. He held the paper with the lyrics in one hand and cleared his throat. He then glanced at Yoongi and gave him a thumbs up.

"Let's get it!"

Chapter Text

It was a hectic morning for Jana, to say the least. She had been running back and forth in the apartment to collect her stuff and pack her suitcase, which she should've been already done with if she hadn't stayed up watching Demon Slayer all night. Jungkook would come with his father any minute to drive them both to the airport, and she was nowhere near ready.

"Jana! You forgot your charger."

"Give it here, thanks!"

"Don't forget your black hoodie, and do you want your laptop with you? You know what, I'll pack some snacks for you to have on the way. Wait, you forgot-"

"Jin, you're stressing me out!!" 

They both halted their movement when they heard Jana's phone ringing. She hurried to grab it and pick up.

"Mom?"

"Hi, sweetie! Are you in the airport now?"

"No, I'm still waiting for Mr. Jeon to pick me up."

"Oh, alright. Anyway, I need you to do something for me when you get here. So My friend has this son and he's going to be in Cairo this week too, so-"

"Mom, if it's another blind date, forget it."

"Aww come on, why not? He's very handsome."

"I'm not that superficial."

"But, he's also a pop idol. Isn't that what you kids are into nowadays?"

"Not me."

"Come on, sweetie. He just broke up with his girlfriend and his mother is worried."

"He just broke up and she wants him to date? Mom, that's toxic."

"Jana."

"Ugh, okay fine! I'll meet him. But don't expect much." 

"Thank you, baby! Call me when you land, I'll send a driver to take you and Jungkook to your hotel. Have a safe flight!"

Jana groaned as she hung up. That was not the first time her mother tried to set her up with one of her friends' sons. She often wondered where her mother found all those friends. Jana knew her mother was just worried about her since she never let the topic of romance and relationships be up for discussion. But would you blame her? She was aromantic after all; she wished her mother would just understand that and let her be. Seokjin came out of the kitchen with three lunchboxes and placed them in Jana's backpack. Not long after, she heard a ding from her phone when she received a message from Jungkook telling her that they had arrived. 

"You got everything?"

"Yep. Thanks, Jin."

"No problem. You're welcome here any time." He followed her to the apartment door and opened it for her. 

She thanked him again and bid him goodbye as he wished her a safe flight then went on her way. She sat in the backseat beside Jungkook with Mr. Jeon driving and Mrs. Jeon in the passenger seat; she wanted to see them off as well. Jana kept taking glances at Jungkook every now and then; he was oddly silent. He would usually either sing or talk their ears off until they arrive. The ride was not long, and soon enough they found themselves waving off Mr. and Mrs. Jeon as they entered the airport. 

They entered and headed straight to security check. Jana had to pace to keep up with the boy's long strides. She had no idea why he was rushing; they still had plenty of time. Jungkook didn't spare her a glance. Not when they were walking. Not when they were stamping their passports. And not when they were placing their bags in their rightful place. He only spoke to her once to ask her for his ticket to have it checked, and that was about it. Something was definitely off and it didn't slide past her. They were currently in the waiting area after going through the second security check, waiting for their flight number to be called. Jana looked through her phone while Jungkook put on his earphones and stayed on his phone as well. 

"Jungkook?" She tapped his shoulder to get his attention. He took one earbud off without looking at her. 

"My mom sent me these two dresses, which one do you think looks better?" She leaned over his shoulder to show him her phone.

"I don't know, ask Yoongi or something." He muttered then put the earbud back in. Jungkook knew he was being kind of petty, but if that was what he had to do to get her to talk, then be it.

"What? But I'm asking you." She didn't seem like she would be getting a reply any time soon, so she sulked in her own seat and waited for a few minutes before she started calling him again. 

"Jungkook." 

No response. 

"Jungkook"

Still nothing. 

"Jung-" 

"What!" He snapped and turned to look at her, irritation taking over his features.

"What is wrong with you? You're the one who wasn't responding."

"Doesn't feel nice being ignored now, does it?" He scoffed.

"What? When did I-"

"Oh, I don't know. How about you check all those unread messages, or the missed calls, or maybe the times I tried to talk to you but you would just shrug me off, and bailing on me more than once. For three straight weeks. Here, I'm minding my own business, isn't that what you want?" He turned back to his phone without giving her a chance to talk. He didn't want to talk because he knew that if he did, he would snap more than he had done already. He was in the middle of reading something on the phone when it was suddenly snatched from him.

"Hey-"

"No, we're going to talk about this."

"Oh, so whenever you want to talk we have to?" He crossed his arms and looked straight ahead. 

"Yeah, sorry. It doesn't work like that." 

"No, I want to apologize," He was taken aback and side-eyed her when he heard her voice soften into almost a whisper. "I'm sorry, Jungkook. I was just stressed. Jimin needed my help with something. I had a fight with Hoseok and I wanted to make it up to him so that he doesn't feel bad anymore but that didn't work out. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry. Exams weren't of any help either, they just added up to my pile of stress. I didn't mean to ignore you that long. I'm sorry." 

Jungkook, who had turned his body to fully face her, reached out with his hand to wipe away one stray tear that unwillingly left her eye before pulling her in for a hug. He did not expect that at all; the last time he had seen her crying was in fifth grade when she fell off a swing. He hugged her for a minute before she pulled away and looked at him with wet, glassy eyes. 

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"It's all right."

"It's not." 

"Yes, it's not. You can't keep putting people first all the goddamn time." 

She dropped her gaze to the floor and waited for him to continue.

"Look, it's okay to want to be there for people, but not on your own health's account. Stop putting others before you and take care of yourself, for god's sake. Your first priority should always be you. Do I really have to tell you this?"

"But Jimin needed me. And Hoseok-"

"No. You're trying to carry all our burdens above yours all alone. You'll end up breaking if you haven't already. So what if I worry? Please let me help you as well. Let me carry half the weight. We can all help each other out. If we suffer we suffer together, just like how when we laugh we laugh together. Don't bear everything on your own anymore." 

She brought her head up to look at him in bewilderment. She did not expect to hear such words from Jungkook at all.

"What, didn't expect that from me? I can be wise too, you know. You're not the only deep talker here." He smiled and ruffled her hair.

"Hey, stop! I spent a whole hour straightening it!" She whined as she attempted to fix her hair with Jungkook just laughing at her struggle. When she thought it looked good enough, She dropped her arms on her lap and looked back at him with uncertainty.

"So. . . We're okay, right?"

"Yep, your apology is accepted. Just promise to stay honest with me from now on. I always know when you lie anyway, you're not that discreet." 

"There's no fooling you, huh. I promise." 

"Good! It's great to have you back." He cheered, showing his infamous bunny smile. Jana could only smile back gratefully, warmth engulfing her and filling her chest. Damn, she missed him.

Chapter Text

"Ahh Cairo. The River Nile, the crazy traffic," She paused to take a deep breath. "And the dusty polluted air. Yep, I didn't miss it." 

"Will you stop your dramatic monologue and move out of the way?! These bags are heavy." Jungkook complained as he shoved her to the side. She stuck her tongue at him then moved to stand next to him on the pavement outside the airport. "Also it's not so bad here. The food is bomb." 

"That I agree. But I still prefer Korea."

"No shit. When are your parents coming anyway?"

"Oh, mom sent a driver to pick us up. She's with dad in Alexandria now because of some work he has, so we'll stay in a hotel for the night. They'll be back tomorrow."

They stood in silence as they waited for the driver to arrive. Jana took the chance to look around. She might have complained about coming back, but she was actually excited to visit her home country. She missed the food, the vibe, and the place over all. But what she was most looking forward to was seeing her father again after two years. She picked up her phone when she heard it ding.

"Oh, Jungkook. Mira just texted me. She's just around the corner, I'll hang out with her for a bit. Do you want to come?"

"Oh, hell nah. I don't want to see her ever again." 

"Come on, it's been two years already."

"No way. That creature stole my banana milk. That's a crime I can never forgive."

"You're the one who cheated though."

"It's not my fault that she sucks at MarioKart!" 

"Come on, don't be lame."

"Nope."

They were interrupted by the sound of a car honking and pulling up in front of them. The driver had arrived and stepped out to help them place the luggage in the trunk.

"Now, if you'll excuse me. I'm gonna order some Koshary and lie in bed for the rest of the day. We were in that plane for fifteen hours and the jet lag is killing me."

And with that, he told her to have fun and went on his way. Jana waved as the car disappeared then walked to the area her friend was parking in. Not long after, she spotted a figure leaning against a black Ferrari. There stood a tall, tanned girl with long dark hair and deep black eyes. Her baggy jeans nicely hugged her long legs and matched well with her white crop top and red bomber jacket as her sunglasses rested on the top of her head. Yup, that was Jana's rich friend, all right. She was scrolling through Instagram until she noticed Jana pacing towards her. 

"Bonbon!" Jana shouted as she rushed to Mira's side.

"*Oh my god. Are you never letting this nickname go?"

"*Never!" She giggled.

"*Why didn't Jungkook come? Don't tell me he's still salty about that one time."

"*You guessed it."

"*Oh. Well, he's missing out. Anyway, get in, Shorty. We've got places to be." Mira exclaimed as she opened her car door and slipped into the driver's seat.

"*Hey! I'm not THAT short." Jana replied while seating herself in the passenger seat.

"*Your 160cm self begs to differ."

"Bitch." 

Mira laughed then turned the key and started on the way to God knows where.  

***

"So," Mira started then took a sip of her double chocolate chip mocha frappe. They were sitting inside the car that was parked in front of a food court after getting their food. "*You're telling me your mom set you up with another blind date."

"Aha."

"*And he's a pop idol from Korea."

"*Yep."

"*And you wanted to refuse but are going because you're forced to?"

"*Pretty much yeah."

"Bitch!" Mira suddenly shouted startling Jana.

"*Hey, keep it down! I almost dropped my fries!"

"*Give him to me, then! How do you even keep getting guys like that when you're so anti-romantic." 

"*No, how do you manage to crush on a new guy every single day?"

"*Speaking of which," Mira cleared her throat and turned her body to face her ungrateful friend.

"*The hot guy with fluffy brown hair from your dance practice video."

"*Wha-, you mean Hoseok? You think he's hot?!"

"*You don't?"

"*I mean, yeah kinda."

"*See? Now pleaaaaase give me his number. Does he mind long distance?"

"*Mira, I can't without asking him first. And we're kind of not talking at the moment."

"*What, did you fight?! What the hell did you do!"

"*Love how you automatically assume that I'm the one at fault." She playfully rolled her eyes.

"*What could he possibly do, he's a literal ray of sunshine." 

"*You don't even know him!"

"*But I will," Mira smirked. "Now tell me, what does he hate?"

"*Umm, shouldn't you ask about what he likes?"

"*No, cause I want to annoy the hell out of him so that he hates me," Jana looked at her as if she was crazy, no doubt there. "*But as we spend more time together, he's gonna fall in love with me. Enemies to lovers!"

"*Yeah, you need serious help"

"*No, YOU need serious help. You're the one who dips her fries in ice cream, stop doing that!"

"*What! It's delicious!" She exclaimed as she ate another ice cream dipped fry. "*I enjoy it."

"Like a damn sociopath" 

"*Ugh, you need to lay off TikTok for a while, seriously it's becoming an issue."

"*Yeah, never. Anyway back to you. You really don't like anyone?"

"*Which part of I don't do romance don't you understand?"

"*No, you gotta! How am I gonna attend your wedding if you keep shooing away every guy that comes into your life! I wanna attend a wedding!" She whined and took a sip of her drink then started nibbling on the straw. 

"*It'll be your own wedding then." 

"*No, I won't have a wedding if you don't give me Hoseok's number."

"*You're being ridiculous."

"Le gasp! How could you. What if I was suicidal? What if this was my last straw?!"

"*Oh, it's definitely your last straw." Jana snatched the straw from the taller girl's drink and threw it out the car. 

"Hey! You make me lose my temper~"

Jana rolled her eyes at the TikTok reference her friend made again. 

"*Anyway, I think I should head back. I forgot that Jungkook doesn't speak English well. People here don't really know Korean."

"*And you left him alone!" Mira started laughing and clapping like a maniac, finding the situation quite hilarious. She wouldn't mind listening to an awkward situation happening to Jungkook because of the language barrier.

"*Don't worry he'll manage. I bet he's asleep right now."

Mira drove to the hotel after they had both finished their food. Jana stepped out and turned to her friend to say goodbye.

"*Good luck on your date tomorrow. If you don't change your mind, you know my number." She winked at her before starting the car again. 

"Toodles, Shorty." 

Jana laughed at her friend's silly antics then marched towards the reception. She asked them for the room number and key and asked if Jungkook had made it safely, which he did.

Thank god!

She rushed to the room to finally get the rest she so much needed. As she neared the door, she could hear loud yelling and other background sounds. She quickly pulled out her keycard and opened the door. She was greeted with the sight of a Koshari takeout bag on the bedside table and Jungkook in sweatpants and a black oversized t-shirt, sitting on one of the beds and facing the T.V screen as he played Overwatch. 
Oh my- did he seriously pack his Xbox with him?!

"Jungkook?"

"Oh Jana? When did you- SON OF A BITCH CAN'T YOU AIM?!" He grumbled before harshly turning off the game. "I fucking died!" 

"There there, champ." She giggled as she patted his head. 

"Anyway, you're back early"

"Yeah, I remembered you can't speak English and slightly panicked."

"Hey! FYI, I've been practicing and managed well on my own. Anyway! I got Koshary. I was waiting for you so that we can eat it together."

Jana stared at the plastic bag with unease. She had already eaten a pack of fries and didn't want to eat anymore. But she didn't want to disappoint Jungkook. She had ignored him long enough; she owed him at least this much. She let a smile rest on her face and nodded to him then excused herself to the bathroom so that she could change first. She changed into a pair of black leggings and a plain black t-shirt, then joined Jungkook on the bed. He handed her a box and proceeded to open his own, adding all the condiments to it. She opened her own box and stared at it.

Eating two times a day? Seriously? You're gonna gain two kilograms by tomorrow.  

She tried her best to push away her unpleasant thoughts as she added salsa, hot sauce, and garlic sauce on her meal. She discarded the crispy onions as she didn't like them that much.

"Damn, It's so good. I missed this!" Jungkook hummed in delight as he took his first bite. Jana smiled at him and started eating. She was surprised when all her discomfort morphed into ease. Did she really just need Jungkook to remind her how to relax? The one she tried her hardest to hide from? True, he didn't help her disorder in any way, but just his presence made it so easy to lay back. Jungkook was always there. It was comforting knowing that someone was there no matter what happened. She ate a few more spoonfuls before setting the box down on the table. She felt some tear drops trickle down her eyes. Jungkook raised his head to look at her when he heard her sniffle. 

"Jana?" He carefully set his takeout box beside hers on the table and scooted closer. She slowly wrapped her arms around him, hiding her face in his shoulder.

"Jungkook, I'm sorry for everything. I love you." 

He was confused by the sudden action but didn't question it. He wasn't going to ask about it. He learnt that some things should be left unsaid. If she wasn't willing to share them, he wouldn't push it. Instead, he hugged her back in silence. 

Chapter Text

Jana observed her surroundings as she sat at a table in the cafe her mom told her about. Pink. It was too pink. Since it was a peony themed cafe, it was decorated with all sorts of fake flowers with various shades of pink. There was even a neat, embellished swing in a corner. Jana didn't necessarily hate it; she thought it was rather cute, but why have the date there out of all the other places. Her mother was trying too hard for that date to work. Jana sighed as she waited for her so called date to arrive. He was late, but she wasn't complaining. At least it was something she could use as an excuse to never see whoever that guy was again. Idol or not, she did not want any romantic relationships. Sometimes she wondered why people would even look for them. Why weren't their relationships with friends enough? You want someone to get you flowers, your friends can do that. It's not like they lacked any money or any less affection. Romance was a concept she would never understand. 

She found her thoughts wandering from the topic of romance to the events that took place the previous night. She had no idea why she suddenly got emotional, but she was grateful for Jungkook for not commenting on it. She didn't know how she would have responded. She snapped her head to the direction of the door when she heard the little bell above it ring, signaling that someone had entered. Her eyes widened as she checked out the guy who had just arrived. His exquisite blue hair fell on top of the red headband adorning his forehead; he wore a simple black t-shirt with matching jeans and a mask on his face. 

Shit, Jungkook is gonna fucking kill me.  

She stood up from her seat, dusting her short black dress as she saw him approaching her table. 

"Are you Jana?"

"Yes, nice to meet you." She answered as she slightly bowed and shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you, too. I'm Taehyung," He said before they both sat down. "Have you ordered, yet?"

"No, I was waiting for you. And you are late, by the way. You don't get a free pass for being famous, you know." She joked as she scanned the menu.

His laugh resonated around the half empty cafe, immediately diverting her attention from the menu to him. 

Damn, I might actually reconsider. She thought. 

"Apologies, my lady. How can I make it up to you?"

"Hmm, you can pay for my drink." She smirked.

"That's it? Consider it done." 

They waited for a few minutes until the waiter came to take their order. After giving their order, Jana turned to look back at Taehyung. 

"So-" They both started.

"You go first."

"It's okay, tell me." He insisted.

"Look, I'm just gonna be honest. I know our mothers set this up, but I'm not really interested in relationships." Jana finished and bit her lip. She was anxious to hear his response. She didn't like to upset anyone, especially the gorgeous man that sat in front of her. However, she relaxed when she saw him giving her a reassuring smile.

"That makes it a hundred times easier. I was going to say the same thing. This is all my mom's idea, even though I told her I'm fine."

"You just got out of a relationship, right?"

"Yes. It wasn't bad or anything, I just got too busy and decided to let her go."

"I'm actually surprised your company is okay with you dating." 

"They're pretty chill about it as long as I don't get caught. I think I'm pretty safe here." 

"Doubt it. Dispatch is literally everywhere."

"It doesn't matter. The company will deny any false rumors if they were to arise."

They were interrupted by the waiter approaching them and setting Taehyung's strawberry milkshake and Jana's sugar-free mint lemonade on the table. Taehyung took off his mask and was about to take a sip when he noticed her gaze on him. 

"Is something wrong?" 

"Huh? Umm, nothing. You're just bloody gorgeous." Jana muttered in a small voice and shifted her gaze to the side as she took a sip of her lemonade. 

"Thank you," Taehyung laughed. "You're cute, too"

"Oh my god! A celebrity just called me cute, I can die peacefully now." She dramatically placed her hands on her chest, making Taehyung erupt in laughter.

"Are you a fan by any chance?"

"I wouldn't necessarily call myself a fan. But I love your voice, I listened to some of your songs because of my friend. He's like the biggest fanboy I've ever seen," Jana laughed before her eyes widened in realization. "He's gonna skin me alive when he knows you're the date I complained so much about."

"Oh, I can sign something for him if you want?" He offered.

"Better yet! Can I invite him to come here for a bit? He's also Korean. Pleaaase!!!" She begged. 

"He loves you so much, I'd mistake it for a crush if I didn't know better." 

"Sure, why not. The more the merrier." He smiled when he saw her grab her phone excitedly, almost dropping it as she hurriedly looked for one particular contact number. The phone rang for a minute before the call was finally picked up.

"Kook! I'm gonna send you a location, be here in five minutes ... no the date wasn't bad, I just want you to meet someone ... Then turn off the damn game and come!" She hung up and sighed then smiled as she faced the idol. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay. You two seem close."

"Oh, we are. He's just a bit of a brat sometimes." 

They spent the following minutes getting to know each other better and talking about everything that came to mind. They came to know that they were both eighteen years old. Jana found out that it was the first time for the idol to be in Egypt, or any Arabic speaking country other than Dubai. He explained to her that he wished to visit as many countries as he could and talked passionately about his fans and tours. Jana screamed something along the lines of "I'm friends with a celebrity don't touch me" when Taehyung suggested they exchange phone numbers and remain friends, with Taehyung laughing at her exaggerated reaction as usual. Was it really exaggerated, though? A few minutes later, Jana received a notification from Jungkook telling her that he had arrived. She informed Taehyung and rushed out of the cafe. She saw Jungkook standing alone in the middle of the sidewalk like a lost puppy, eyes glued to his phone.

"Over here, loser!" She waved him over with a wide smile, earning a low grumble from Jungkook as he sluggishly stepped towards her.

"What was so important that you had to interrupt me from playing Overwatch. I swear to god if it's Mira again-"

"It's not Mira, now come on." 

She grabbed his hand and dragged him behind her as she re-entered the coffee shop and headed straight to her table. She turned back to look at Jungkook as they neared the table, observing his reaction. They came to a stop beside the table.

"Hello." Taehyung greeted as he stood up. 

Jungkook froze in his place. He could not believe what he was looking at. There in front of him stood his favorite k-pop idol with all his glory. Was he dreaming? 

"Say something, Kook. Don't be rude." Jana nudged his side, trying to bring him back to reality. 

"I- umm... hi.." He trailed as he turned to look at the floor and shifted to the side to stand behind Jana. He could feel his face heating up. 

"He must be shy." Taehyung giggled.

"Jana," Jungkook whispered. He was completely standing behind her trying to hide, but her height compared to his did little to help. "He's standing there. He's real." 

"Yes, I'm aware. I was on a date with him after all."

"What! He's your date? And you had the audacity to complain?!" 

"Since you regained your ability to talk, why don't you say something to him?" 

Taehyung watched their bickering take place; he could only laugh at the encounter.

"It's okay, take your time. You can talk whenever you're comfortable." He said as he sat back down on his seat with Jana following along. Jungkook, however, still stood frozen in place.

"Jungkook, sit down. You look ridiculous." 

He snapped out of his trance and quickly sat beside Jana. He kept taking glances every now and then at the blue head who sat in front of him. He was more mesmerizing in person; how could someone so angelic be real. And oh, did he look good in that bandana. He was mentally cursing his friend for not giving him a heads up. He could've at least put some effort into his outfit and not just leave in his sweatpants and plain shirt while the idol sat there so effortlessly looking like a Greek god. Jungkook took a minute to regain himself then cleared his throat to finally talk. 

"I- uh. I love your songs so much. And I really admire you as a person. You inspire me so much to continue singing. I actually did a cover for your recent song, Winter Bear. I loved it a lot." 

"Ladies and gentlemen, he talks!!" Jana mocked, earning a soft hit on her shoulder from Jungkook, which she only laughed more at. 

"Thank you so much, Jungkook. That means a lot," Taehyung said sincerely as he leaned forward and crossed his arms on the table. "Do you happen to have your cover with you now? I want to listen to it." 

If Jungkook thought he was fine, he was completely wrong. His face started burning up again, a little blush settling on his cheeks as he nervously fiddled with his hands under the table. 

"Uh, it's on my phone. But it's not really that good."

"Don't listen to him, his voice is amazing. He's just nervous is all." 

Jungkook's phone almost slipped out of his grip as he took it out. He scrolled down until he found what he was looking for then handed the phone over to the blue head. Taehyung put the earphones in and clicked on play. Silence prevailed as they waited for the song to be over. After three minutes, Taehyung took off the earphones and locked his eyes with Jungkook's. 

"Were you a trainee before?" 

"Huh? No." Jungkook replied.

"For real? You are so good. Your voice is higher pitched than mine, so it worked well with this song. Good job, Jungkook." 

"See, I told you!" Jana cheered.

"Say," Taehyung started. "Would you like to do a song with me? I'm not sure if the company will allow me to release it but we can do it for fun." 

"... Are you kidding?"

"Nope," Taehyung took out his own phone and handed it to Jungkook. "Here, type your number. I'll contact you some time after my tour." 

Jungkook took hold of the phone and typed in his number with shaky hands.

"Great! Just don't leak my number and we'll be fine." Taehyung joked.

"Never!" 

Not long had passed before Taehyung and Jungkook seemed to be in their own world, talking and sharing their interests. They had gotten along so well so fast. Their topic of discussion seemed to mostly revolve around video games and music. Jana sat on her phone, scrolling through her social media as the other two chatted away. She wasn't upset that they had completely disregarded her presence; actually, she was more than glad to see Jungkook getting along with someone since he was quite shy and introverted. And with his favorite idol? Even better. After a couple of hours of Jungkook stealing Jana's date, they decided to finally head back. Taehyung and Jana were fighting for ten minutes over who would pay for the bill with Jungkook sipping on the last bits of his banana milkshake, completely unbothered. Eventually, Jana got fed up and snatched the receipt.

"I was joking about the drink thing. Now put that wallet away before I make sure you never use it again." She placed the right amount of money on top of the receipt in the leather pouch and handed it to the waiter with a sweet smile, as if she hadn't just threatened someone. 

"She's scary..." Taehyung whispered as he slowly placed his wallet back in his pocket. 

"Yeah. Try not to get on her bad side, she'll mess you up."

Chapter Text

Jana stood in front of the large mirror in her hotel room's bathroom. It was big enough for her to see from her head till her mid thigh. She did a 360 and turned from side to side while looking at herself. She still believed that she was fat. It had been a few days since she had danced and she started to worry. She definitely put on weight during that time period. Or so she thought. She stepped closer to inspect her face.

At least I still have a sharp jawline. But what good is a pretty face when the rest is ugly?

She sighed as she started drying her hair. She was so frustrated. Why did she keep thinking like that? Why couldn't she just get rid of those useless thoughts? It wasn't like she didn't know the right thing to do; she was fully aware of how starvation only aids in temporary weight loss. The long term damage could be fatigue, malnutrition, and disturbed metabolism. And many many more. Jana liked to believe that she was a logical, science driven person. But why couldn't she stop being irrational? Why did she still believe that she was fat when her BMI was saying otherwise? 

That's what eating disorders do. They install certain ideas in your mind and force you to do whatever it takes to achieve them. They make you see yourself in a whole new light, though a shameful one it is. They make you despise yourself, starve yourself, workout till the verge of passing out, and destroy your relationships by attempting to keep it all in the shadows. It's a mentally and physically draining disorder; one that has taken many lives. 

She quickly washed her face to get rid of any tear stains and went back to the room. She smiled when she spotted Taehyung and Jungkook sitting on the bed with their eyes glued to the TV screen as they played Overwatch. Jungkook and Jana had discovered that Taehyung stayed in the same hotel as them, more so in the room right next door, when they bumped into him earlier on their way back. Jungkook immediately invited him to play together on his Xbox, and after making sure his schedule was cleared, Taehyung agreed. Jana moved towards them as she eyed the empty plastic wraps of chips and other snacks.

"Yah! Don't leave trash around the place, do I really have to clean up after you?" She started picking up the wrappers and throwing them in the trash can, having one thought run through her mind.
To enjoy junk food like that again.
It was a simple action that most did without even thinking. But truly, you never realize the value of something until you lose it. 

Taehyung groaned when his character was killed again and fell back on the bed.

"How are you so good at this?" 

"I'm not, you're just not good at this."

"Hey!" He whined as he heard the younger giggle.

"I should get going now. I have a busy schedule tomorrow." Taehyung turned to the door to leave with the other two seeing him off and wishing him good night. "Oh, before I forget!"

He halted his steps and turned to look at them as he pulled out two cards from his pocket. 

"Shut up! You did not!!" Jungkook exclaimed in disbelief.

"I so did." Taehyung smirked and placed them in Jungkooks hands.

"What are these?" Jana took a couple of steps forward to have a better look. 

"VIP tickets to his concert and sound check in two days!" 

"Taehyung! You really didn't have to!" 

"Shut up, I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket and I was so bummed!" He quickly pushed her to the side and smiled back at Taehyung. "I really appreciate this. Thank you." 

"No problem. I'll be looking for you in the crowd, so you better be there." With that he left to his own room, leaving behind an almost passed out Jungkook and a weirded out Jana.

***

It was almost eight in the evening when the two high schoolers were dropped off in front of Jana's house. They dragged their suitcases behind them and walked to the door. Mirae, Jana's mother, greeted them both with a hug and a kiss on the cheek with Jana whining and complaining as she wasn't a fan of physical contact. Jana ran to the living room after setting her suitcase beside the door to see her father. 

"*Dad!" 

"*Jana! How are you? You got taller."

"*Good thing Jungkook doesn't understand you. He would've immediately disagreed and called me a dwarf."

Her father laughed and led her to the dining table.

"*Your mom made dinner. She's starting to get the hang of Egyptian dishes."

"*Oh really? What did she make?"

"*Macarona bechamel and chicken pane. But she had to add her Korean touch so she made some kimchi and tteokbokki as well." 

Jana was somewhat conflicted. She wanted to enjoy her mother's cooking with Jungkook and her parents, especially since she hadn't had Egyptian food in a while. Would she enjoy it, though? She tried her best to stay cheerful. She was going to see her father for just a few days then who knows when she would be able to visit again, and she didn't want to ruin everybody's mood by feeling down. She led Jungkook to the guest room then went to hers to freshen up and change into some comfortable pajamas. It didn't take them long before they were all seated at the dining table and started eating. Jungkook hadn't stopped talking since the moment he sat down. He randomly rambled about anything that could come to his mind, sliding in a few "thank you"s and "wow the food is great" to Mirae who kept serving him more. Jana silently listened as she nibbled on the same piece of chicken she had picked up fifteen minutes before. An hour later, they were all done and started clearing the table. Jungkook and Jana placed all the dirty dishes in the dishwasher as Mirae was preparing some tea and Elyas was scrolling through his work emails on his phone. Mirae entered the living room with a tray that held two cups of black tea and set it on the coffee table in the middle, Jana and Jungkook following right behind her.

"Ahh, I'm beat. I'm going to sleep." 

"Good night, Jungkook." Jana waved to him as he disappeared up the stairs. She then set her gaze on her father and went over to sit beside him on the coffee colored couch. She noticed that her mother was busy watching some show on the T.V.

"*Dad?" 

He hummed in response, letting her know that he was paying attention.

"*I'm not feeling well again. I don't want to eat." She kept her eyes on her hands that rested on her lap. Her father seemed to immediately understand, waiting for her to go on, but seeing as she wasn't going to say anything further, he decided to speak.

"*Okay. I'll make an appointment for you with Dr. Dina before you have to leave," He placed his arm around her shoulder in a comforting manner.

"*Don't worry. You'll be okay." 

Jana stepped inside her room and immediately fell on the bed. She wished she could just sleep and never wake up. To stay stuck in a good dream where she didn't have so much to stress about. Not worrying about GPA and school, not worrying about the competition, not worrying about her future, and definitely not worrying about her eating disorder. She lay on her back and brought her forearm to rest on her eyes, shading them from the beaming light in the ceiling.

Why can't I just stop worrying about everything. And then I wonder why I'm so stressed. 

She sighed as she turned on her right side to grab her phone from her commode, though she flinched and dropped it on the floor when it started ringing all of a sudden. She stepped down from the bed to pick up the phone and check the caller ID.
Hoseok.

Jana stared at her phone in confusion. Why would he be calling her now? Should she even pick up? Their last encounter wasn't necessarily the best, she could say. 

Okay, it was horrible. What could he possibly want.

After a few seconds debate with herself, she decided to accept the call. If he started to say some nonsense again, she would just have to block him for the time being; she did not need any additional stress. 

"Hoseok?"

"Jana, hi. Are you- um- free tomorrow?"

"I'm not in the country at the moment." She blandly replied.

"Oh. Then, are you free to talk for a bit now?"

Jana hesitated. Should she even hear him out? Well, so far he seemed like the usual Hoseok she knew.

"Make it quick." She heard him clear his throat on the other end of the line.

"I want to say sorry. For everything. I had a fight with my father that day."

"Oh damn."

"Yeah. Nothing to worry about, he just said the things he would always say. I'm really sorry about that, I was just angry at my father for never supporting me and I lashed out at you. I really didn't mean anything I said, I'm grateful and appreciative of everything you did and are still doing for me." 

"That is not an excuse to treat me badly when I haven't done anything wrong to you."

"I know. I'm really sorry. I'll try my best to prevent that from happening again." 

The silence was deafening as Hoseok waited for Jana to reply. He felt his sweat trickle down the side of his head. He didn't want one of his best friendships to end. After what felt like hours but was only a minute, Jana sighed.

"Your apology is accepted. Please don't do that again, it was really upsetting," She could hear him sigh in relief. "I have a question though. About your confession the other day-"

"Don't mind that. I know you're not looking for a relationship, it was just something in a spur of the moment. I don't expect you to agree and don't want to ruin our friendship because of something so trivial. So," He stopped to clear his throat again. "Please don't mention that again, I was just blabbing" 

"Oh, okay. I'm glad that's cleared up as well. If it makes anything better, I wasn't uncomfortable by it or anything."

"That's reassuring, thank you."

"Oh right! This is kind of out of the blue, but my friend will kill me if I didn't do this."

"What is it?"

"I have this friend here, and I showed her one of our dance videos before. She kinda asked for your number."

"Umm, I don't know. Does she speak Korean?"

"She's learning but she can manage basic conversations. But look, I know this is too soon. You don't have to reply now or at all, I just thought I'd ask just in case." 

"No, it's alright. Send me her number then. I'll see where this goes."

"Oh, okay then. She has a nice bubbly personality, I'm sure she'll be able to match your energy," She giggled. 

"But if she does anything, please do tell. I'll make sure to keep her in check." 

"I'll keep that in mind," He laughed. "Thank you, Jana. And I'm sorry again."

"Stop apologizing, jeez. Let's put it all behind us now. We still have a competition to win." 

"About that. If you want to quit, I'll understand-"

"Hell no. I love dancing with the group. I'm sure Jimin and Jungkook like it too."

"You just reminded me, I need to apologize to Jungkook, too. Do you happen to know where Jimin is by any chance? I tried calling him multiple times but he wouldn't pick up."

"Jimin? No, I haven't seen him since exams. I'll try to reach him later, though." 

She stayed on the phone with Hoseok for a couple more minutes before wishing him good night and hanging up. She turned off the lights and lay back in bed with a smile on her face. Her conflict with Hoseok was finally resolved, and she couldn't be more satisfied. Well she could, but not now. 

Chapter Text

His hair glimmered under the stage lights and flew with his each calculated, elegant move. His feet carried him effortlessly as he maneuvered across the stage. His sharp eyeliner and Smokey makeup seemed to define his blue eyes more. He was singing his heart out as the crowd cheered and screamed. The stadium filled with glowing lights and passionate people, all gathered to support the dedicated singer. Jana could only stare in awe. How could someone look so dashing just by walking? How could someone hold so much power with just a penetrative gaze. Taehyung, or V as the fandom liked to call him, had it all. The voice, the talent, the looks, and definitely the charms. He seemed like a totally different person when put on stage. You could feel his energy as he sang each song, each line, each word. 

She turned to look at Jungkook beside her, who was just as mesmerized as she was. If she was awestruck, she didn't imagine how Jungkook could be feeling seeing as he was a diehard fan since day one. She could only guess that he was floating with glee. The third break had ended, and the encour stage had commenced. V talked to the fans with the interpreter repeating every word in the country's language before he started running around the stage and singing his final three songs. Jana was watching him go crazy when she suddenly felt her entire being become wet and cold. She stared up to see a water bottle flying towards her and managed to catch it. Taehyung had grabbed water bottles and started emptying them on the crowd, and apparently Jana fell victim to that action since they were standing too close to the stage. She gave the bottle to a fan who was whining about not being able to catch one. She could hear her scream with excitement.

I mean, having his number is more than enough. 

She looked up again to see that Taehyung was done with his last song and started saying goodbye to the audience with the interpreter translating each word after him.

"Thank you guys so much for tonight. I hope I get to see you again soon." And with that, he disappeared off the stage. People started leaving the arena while others decided to stay back for a bit. Jungkook enthusiastically shook his best friend's shoulders, not able to contain his excitement.

"Did you see that! He was so ethereal. He's more amazing in real life. What the hell. Hearing Winter Bear live was everything! This feels so surreal," He suddenly stopped and slumped down his shoulders. "I'm already having post-concert depression. I want to re-live the past three hours."

"Why do you make it feel like this is the last time you see him? We're heading backstage in a few minutes."

"Oh my god, You're right! Let's go now!" 

His energy abruptly returned. He grasped Jana's hand and started dragging her. She giggled at his actions and followed behind him. A security guard let them in when they showed him their VIP passes and led them to Taehyung's room where they stood by the door until they were allowed entrance. Jungkook was bouncing in his place while Jana was as usual stuck in her own mind. Her thoughts wandered on and off about anything and everything. There was her appointment with her psychiatrist that was in two days and she had to mentally prepare for what she had to say. And there was Jimin's sudden disappearance. She tried calling him multiple times, but it would automatically go to voicemail. Now, that would not normally worry her if it was anyone else. But not Jimin. He was always glued to his phone and would pick up calls after two seconds. And for multiple calls to go to voicemail? Something smelled trouble, and Jana couldn't help but worry. 

She lifted her eyes to set them on Jungkook's smiling face. He was still excitedly fidgeting. Jana could only wonder how he managed to stay so happy. She often wondered about Jungkook's troubles and concerns for every time she tried to ask, he would shift the topic to herself or a completely different subject. It was known that he was not all into the deep talk, unlike his female friend. He kept his thoughts to himself and would give one word replies when asked. He wouldn't open up until he deemed it really necessary. Like those times he used to get bullied and would seek Jana's words for comfort giving that she wasn't physically with him at the time. The first thing she did when she came back was hunt those who hurt him down and make them pay. Let's just say, it took a long time for them to grow their hair back. So when it came to the younger boy's struggles, Jana had long decided to not bother with them; she knew that he could do well by himself. If he ever wanted to seek her for advice he would, and she would eagerly wait and intently listen. 

Her head turned to the direction of the door on her left when she heard it open. They saw their idol friend pop his blue head out the door and invite them in as he gave them his blinding smile. Jana turned to look around when they slid in through the doorframe. It was a small lounge with a black coffee table in front of a black leather couch. There was a medium sized window at the back of the room beside the mirror and dresser filled with makeup and accessories. A couple of staff members paced around the room, arranging and putting everything back in its assigned spot. 

"Help yourselves." Taehyung motioned to the various snacks and desserts that decorated the table. 

"Oh! This one is my favorite!" He picked up a box filled with mini ball-shaped sweet treats.

"Oh, that's zalabia." Jana said as she picked one and popped it in her mouth. Jana fancied the fried, honey glazed, golden spheres a lot. Sometimes they would be drizzled with powdered sugar or chocolate sauce. Who could ever hate them?

"That's what it's called?" 

"Jungkook, you came here more than once and had them a million times."

"Well, I only cared more about eating them than remembering their name." He grabbed two pieces and ate them in one go.

"Oh shoot, Jana! You're drenched." Taehyung exclaimed concerned as he handed Jungkook the box and rushed to her side.

"Yeah, you kinda turned the stadium into a water park." She laughed. She noticed his silence and observed his actions. He was unzipping his hoodie. "Uh, what are you doing?"

"Giving you my jacket like the gentleman I am." 

"No, stop," She giggled a she zipped his jacket back up. "Your stylist will pass out if she sees you ruining it. Besides, it's just some water. It'll dry in a minute." 

He nodded and joined Jungkook on the couch as they continued munching on the delicious treat. Jana smiled fondly when she saw them talking together before she stepped towards the window. She could see a garden and some stands selling food and merchandise. She sighed as she rested her chin on top of her hands on the window sill. A while later, she saw Jungkook moving in her direction and leaning beside her against the window. 

"Where did Taehyung go?"

"His manager wanted to discuss a few things with him."

She nodded then brought her eyes to stare back out the window. 

"Are you okay?" Jungkook started. "you seem kinda off today." 

"Just, a lot of things are on my mind."  

"Want to talk about it when we get back?"

"I don't really know how to put it into words." 

She sighed. She knew she could voice her thoughts, but it would take a lot of energy to explain. And she didn't want to tell Jungkook about her having an eating disorder yet. She couldn't predict how he would react, and she didn't know if she wanted him to ever know. Even her mother didn't know about it; it was only her father. And, well, Yoongi now. 

"Do you see that stand there?" Jungkook rested his right arm on Jana's shoulder while the other was pointing at a banner that read 'Batates & Zalabia', a food stand that usually sold French fries, zalabia, and corndogs. "They told me a price. Then when one guy saw that I was a foreigner he increased it. Who in the right mind would sell a corndog for 150 pounds?!" 

"Ah, yeah. They do that a lot here. Never thought they'd do it with food, though." She laughed.

Taehyung returned to inform them that he would leave soon since he had an early flight to catch the next morning. He reached out to his own backpack to pull out a rectangular package and gave it to Jungkook. 

"I got this for you." 

Jungkook was staring at the purple box in his hand with complete bewilderment, he seemed so captivated by it he almost missed the idol's next words. 

"Just don't leak it, yet. I don't want to spoil the surprise for the rest of the Tanies." He laughed. 

Before Jungkook could respond, they were rushed out the room by the manager since everything was packed and they had to leave. Once the three teenagers were out of the room, Taehyung turned to look at his two new friends. 

"I know we've met like three days ago, but you two seem like nice people," He picked up his backpack and slung it on his shoulder. "Let's keep in touch when we get back, yeah?" 

Jungkook unfroze and shouted after the blue head as he was walking away.

"Thank you, Taehyung!" He saw him wave back with his unique boxy smile before he disappeared completely down the hallway. The other two headed back to the exit since they also had to leave. 

"What did he give you?" Jana asked as she inspected the purple object in the ravenette's hand.

"His new single that's supposed to drop next week. He signed it too." He pointed at the signature that was drawn on the bottom of the front cover.

"Whoa! And he trusts you not to leak it? He's crazy."

Jungkook laughed and continued admiring the cover. 'Sweet night' it read. 

"He's unpredictable"

Jungkook couldn't wait to head home and play the song on repeat for the next week.

Chapter Text

"*Welcome back, Jana."

"*I don't know if I should be happy about that, no offense." Jana said with a small smile on her face and closed the door behind her after entering the oh so familiar brown colored room.

"*None taken," The doctor smiled. "*Have a seat."

Jana sat on one of the brown, leather chairs in front of the doctor's desk. She didn't think she would have to go there again. After all, she was fine. Or so she thought. Her psychiatrist was a nice lady in her mid thirties who went by Dr. Dina. She had a soft, reassuring smile and warm blue eyes. Her navy hijab was neatly wrapped around her head, accentuating her fair, round face and complementing the rest of her formal outfit. 

"*So, what's troubling you?"

Jana sighed and started fiddling with the chains that were attached to her black pants, her gaze set on the papers that were placed at the edge of the desk.

"*I don't know, I suddenly don't want to eat as much. I want to lose weight. I'm overworking myself again and I don't know why this is all happening again." 

"*Well," The doctor leaned forward and crossed her arms over the desk. "*For us to solve the problem, we need to decipher the origin. Do you know what could have triggered it?" 

"*I was talking with my friend one day. He mentioned that he starved himself for a few days and overworked himself. But I don't know why that could trigger it, it was not the first time I heard those words."

"*Let's remember that this is not just a weight loss or food related issue. Your eating disorder is derived from stress and your own image about yourself. So look back to the days before that conversation with your friend. Were there any stressful factors?" 

Jana lifted her head to look back at her doctor. She tried going back down the memory lane. She recalled the dance competition and how they were all stressed to perform well. And the chemistry tests that she was so close to failing. And the sudden realization that her friends might be suffering in silence when she had that encounter with Jimin. But above all, the thoughts that were overtaking her mind revolved around her own inability to achieve anything. 

She never thought she was good enough at whatever she did. When she danced, she looked at the small mistakes she did and could only feel frustration. When she studied, she often stared at the problem sheets and thought that she wouldn't be able to solve them. I'm not that smart, She'd repeat to herself. I'm not that good of a dancer, we'll lose if I don't do this right. My friends need me and I'm not there for them because I'm busy crying over something that's not supposed to be an issue. Why am I so dumb at everything?. And so, she told everything to the psychiatrist. Her unsettling thoughts, the past events that occurred, and everything that concerned her and added to her stress load. 

"*The way you think about yourself reflects on your self-image. Your goal might not even be to lose weight at all."

"*But why? I really don't know. It's not like I'm saying anything wrong, I'm just being realistic. Why have high expectations for myself when I'll just be disappointed? There's no use to hope for a lost cause."

"*See, this is exactly why. You unconsciously set expectations for yourself. The wrong ones, though. You try to do your best but you're never satisfied. And on top of that, you keep a very low image of yourself. You're a bright person, Jana, and I know you're aware of that. It's just that you let your negative thoughts control you a bit."

Jana stayed silent for a while. Of course she was aware of all of that. She knew her problem really well, but she just couldn't wrap her head around it and actually try to solve it. Even though people always complimented her for being smart and beautiful, she always doubted them and thought otherwise. She looked up to meet Dr. Dina's eyes.

"*How can I stop this?" She pleaded. "*I don't know how to stop thinking that I'm not good at anything." 

"*How about we begin with removing the 'I can't' and 'I don't know' from your speech. Try replacing them with 'I'll try'. Why do you pressure yourself to do well at everything? You don't have to. You're not expected to." 

"*I don't know," She halted her sentence when she noticed the doctor's gaze sharpen. "*I mean, maybe to feel a bit better? If I was good at something then I won't think any less of myself." 

"*So you're saying you feel incompetent when you're not good at something."

"*I think so?"

"*But you're also never satisfied with what you do."

"*Yeah, because whatever it is, it's not good enough."

"*Here's your problem:" The doctor rested her back in her chair and held a pen in her hand. "*That perfectionist attitude of yours causes you a lot of trouble."

Jana furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"*Perfectionist? No way, I'm not that."

"*Then what do you call all that?"

"*I don't know. That's why I'm here." She said as in a matter of fact voice. "*I'm not a perfectionist. The things I do aren't that good to be considered-" She suddenly grew quiet, realization settling in. 

"*Do you see it now?"

"*So basically because I set an idea of what 'good' is supposed to be in my mind and I dismiss everything I do, I totally eliminated perfectionism from the options," Jana leaned back in her chair and slowly rubbed her temple. "*I am actually mind blown."  

"*Glad we reached a conclusion." Dr. Dina smiled.

"*But what about my eating disorder? I don't think I have an image of what a perfect body should be. At least not anymore."

"*The trigger doesn't have to be seeing food or a skinny model or anything body image related. It could just be stress. That was your way with dealing with stress, subconsciously that is."

"*Oh, so I just deal with all this stress and the disorder will be better."

"*See? You're smart."

"*Um, no. That's just stating what's obvious."

"*Give yourself some credit, will you?" She sighed.

"*Credit for what? I didn't do anything."

The doctor shook her head before silencing her phone that dinged a couple of times. She then returned to look back at her patient.

"*We need to discuss another thing. You mentioned you hated not being able to help your friends, right?"

"*Yes. I'm not sure if they really need it, but I try to be there as best as I can." 

"*You need to tone that down a little."

"*What?" 

"*You need to stop caring too much about others and start looking after yourself first. Even if they're your friends. I'm sure they will understand."

"*But what if it's urgent?" 

"*You won't be able to help anyone when you yourself are a mess. Know when to step back and let yourself recharge." 

Jana's mind wandered back to Jungkook's words at the airport. She knew he was right. And Dr. Dina was also right. She started doubting her own reason for helping others sometimes. She often felt like she used other people's problems as a distraction from her own. Seeing other people struggle made her own issues seem small. And maybe that was bad, she admitted. No matter how small a problem is, it doesn't make it any less of a problem. But as always, she ignored all her reasoning and resorted to following her spontaneous, self-destructive thoughts. 

"*It's kinda funny," she chuckled dryly. "I keep telling people all these things, but I never follow my own advice. Kind of hypocritical, isn't it?"

"*Sometimes doing what's right takes a lot of effort. And you're already doing what you can. Don't expect to do well at everything. It's not possible and it's only nerve wrecking and emotionally draining to think about it." 

"*I know. I'll try not to." 

"*Alright! That sums up today's session," The doctor clapped her hands together as she continued. "You're going to organize everything and if things don't work out the way you see is best then it's all right, it's not the end of the world. You will try not to say you can't do things when you clearly can. And you're going to start taking care of yourself more before thinking about others." 

"*Do I have to take the medication again?"

"*No, it's not necessary at the moment. Just follow the steps I told you about last time. Remove the scale from your view, keep your weight healthy according to the BMI, do some activities you like to distract yourself but don't stress about it, it's supposed to be fun not an obligation. And stay with someone for thirty minutes after a meal. Have you done anything beside starvation?"

"*No. Just had a thought about vomiting but dismissed it right away." 

"*Alright. I'll give you the contact of a clinical nutritionist to follow up with your diet plan. And I think that's everything." 

"*Thank you so much." Jana stood up and headed to the door. 

"*No need! If you need anything, you can send me a message."

"*Okay, thank you." She left the room as Dr. Dina waved her goodbye. 

She felt her chest lighten when she stepped outside and took a deep breath. She definitely needed that consultation. Coming to terms with what she struggled with and finding a solution eased her. She just hoped she wouldn't give up on getting better. Her phone dinged for the fiftieth time since she had left the house. She glanced at the screen to find out that it was none other than Jungkook. Of course. She left the house without telling him anything and now she made him worry. She sighed and put her phone back in her cross bag. She started thinking of some believable lies to correspond with the millions of questions that would be thrown at her when she would get home.
And just as she had predicted, she saw Jungkook sitting on the living room couch, crossing his arms and glaring daggers at her. The house was quiet, her parents probably went out as they had mentioned the previous night. Jungkook stood up and took hurried steps towards her as she began taking off her shoes.

"Where have you been all day?" 

"I hung out with Mira." She placed her shoes next to the door and made her way to the staircase, wanting nothing more than to lie down. 

"Really? That's funny. I called her and she said she didn't know where you were." 

Jana stilled upon reaching the bottom of the stairs. She didn't know what to be shocked about: Jungkook willingly calling Mira specifically to ask about her or the fact that she was caught lying again. She should've just kept her mouth shut. Jungkook saw her freezing in her place not saying a word back. He furrowed his eyebrows, clearly irritated and followed her when she started walking up the stairs. They reached her room, and she still hadn't spoken a word. 

"Jana." He stood by the door while she proceeded to place her bag and black denim jacket on the chair by the desk. 

"What do you want?" She finally looked at him, but her face was dull and void of any specific emotion.

"For you to be honest with me. Why are you lying again after you promised you wouldn't?" 

She noticed the sadness that dripped form his voice, his face settling into a grim look that radiated towards her. She felt extremely guilty when she saw him looking at her with dejected eyes. 

"Is it me? You know you can tell me if I did anything wrong." 

"God, Jungkook. No. You're perfect. You didn't do anything." She hated herself for making Jungkook ever doubt himself. He was nothing but an amazing friend who stuck by her side through everything even when she kept him in the dark, and all she did in return was push him away and lie to him, hurt him, and ignore him when he simply asked for an explanation. 

"Then what is it?" 

Jana sat on her bed and kept her gaze on the floor. 

"I had a doctor appointment today." 

"What!" Jungkook's eyes widened in panic. He then rushed to sit beside her on the bed and placed a hand on her back. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm not doing so badly. Or at least I think so."

"What happened then?"

"I went to a psychiatrist." She slowing side-eyed him for a reaction, but he only remained silent waiting for her to continue.

"I," She took a deep breath. Why was it hard to say it out loud? It wasn't that hard when she was talking to Yoongi, so why was it now? Was that a sign to not tell Jungkook about it? Then again, she had already said half of what he asked for so there was no going back. "I have an eating disorder." 

She waited for his voice to break the silence, but a response was never given. She slowly lifted her head to observe him. He was looking at her with his eyes opened wide in shock. His hand left her back to rest on his own thigh. He opened his mouth to say something, but the words wouldn't come out, so he closed it back again and dropped his gaze to the pillow that was beside her on the other side. Jungkook's face morphed into a somber visage. He then lifted his eyes to look back at her. 

"Since when?" 

She sighed at the question. She knew it was coming, but after that reaction, she didn't know if she wanted to answer it. She decided to do so anyway.

"Started three years ago, when I was here for middle school. Got diagnosed two years ago and took antidepressants for about a year." 

"So that medication wasn't actually for anemia, huh. You were depressed."

"It's not really depression."

"Basically depression caused by another mental illness."

"Well, in a way yes." 

She kept staring at him, taking all his expressions in. His reaction was oddly calm, though his face told everything. His droopy eyes and vanished smile, his scrunched eyebrows that clearly portrayed his confusion; he was upset, and she hated that she had caused that. She regretted telling him, but would lying have been better at that point? Either way, he would have gotten hurt, and being honest was better than buttering him up with some lies he wouldn't even believe. She didn't hate Jungkook for pressing on the matter, and she didn't mind telling him anymore. He pressed his lips together and avoided her gaze. He was frustrated at the fact that it all happened under his nose and he hadn't suspected a thing, frustrated that his closest friend was suffering in silence.

"Why did you never tell me?" The wavering of his voice was clear as daylight. She sighed then wrapped both her arms around his waist, hugging him sideways. 

"I didn't want you to worry. You were just going to be so careful with your words and how you treat me. I didn't want that at all."  

"Is that why you've been off lately?" 

"Yes." She exhaled. 

Jungkook suddenly felt immense guilt eating him up. He couldn't believe he thought that she was ditching him. She wasn't like any of those other back-stabbing traitors he came across, and he knew that. Still, he couldn't help but feel relieved that he was not the reason they almost fell apart. 

"I'm sorry."

"What?" She leaned back so that she could look at him, her eyebrows forming a crease in between. "Why are you apologizing?"

"I knew something was off but I never imagined it to be this. I'm sorry for pressuring you into telling me. I know it's not easy talking about this. I'm sorry I made it hard for you to talk about this with me."

"I'm not holding that against you. You never left even when I didn't provide any explanation for my sudden actions. I really appreciate that." 

"You don't owe me anything. Yoongi hyung made me realize that. Still upset he knows you better even though you've just met like two months ago." 

He sighed irritatedly and hung his head down, tilting it to the left to avoid meeting her eyes. She was slightly taken aback at the sudden mentioning of their friend. She assumed that maybe Jungkook asked about her, but based on his reaction earlier, it seemed that Yoongi hadn't uttered a word, and that proved to her more that he was trustworthy. She made a mental note to talk to him later and focused back on Jungkook. 

"Jungkook. Stop. You couldn't have known. Yoongi is just too sharp for his own good. Stop taking blame for something that's out of your control- wait, are you crying?!" She pulled out of his hold and brought her hands to hold his tear stained face. "Why are you crying, oh my god." 

"Just," He sniffled. "Seeing you struggle . . . hurts me." 

She felt a pang in her chest at his words, her eyes stung but she wouldn't let her own tears escape. Jungkook had such a pure soul. She inspected his face as she wiped his tears away. She quickly pulled him back into a hug, wrapping one arm around his neck while the other hand was tangled in his hair.

"I'm fine, Jungkook. It's not severe. I can deal with it better now." 

"But people die from these things. And you just had to go to a psychiatrist again."

"I just happened to relapse because of too much stress. It's not that bad. It will all be fine. So please, don't worry about me."

Jungkook recalled the past three weeks when he would see glimpse of her at school. Every time she would cry alone in the school playground, he would be secretly listening. And a few days back when she teared up at the airport, and the other night in the hotel room. He knew she was not the type to easily cry, so for her to breakdown that much in such a short period of time, what had she been going through? He could not help but feel frustrated for not being able to do anything.

"What's fine? You held it in for so long, and I know you're silently crying." 

Jana dropped her head to avoid his gaze when he slightly pulled away again. 

"When you feel like this again, please . . . Don't neglect yourself for too long. You're destroying yourself. And I can't bear to see you breaking."

Chapter Text

"*I don't like how he kept using 'silencio Bruno' out of context. Listening to your fear is very important sometimes. Especially when making impulsive decisions like Alberto here."

"*Jana, it's only a movie. It's really not that deep."

"*If you focus well, you'll see that everything has a deep side. I like how Luca used it correctly when he was comforting Alberto, though. His character is really nice." 

Mira groaned and stuffed her face with popcorn. They were sitting on Jana's bed with the laptop in front of them as they watched a new Pixar movie called Luca. 

"*Luca was wrong when he ratted Alberto out, though."

"*Yeah, that was a bitch move. Hashtag top ten anime betrayals."

Jana giggled as the ending credit appeared, indicating the end of the movie. Not long after, Jungkook knocked on the door and stepped inside the room. He had left midway through the movie to take a call. He walked over to the bed, glaring at Mira with her returning the glare. They still held a grudge since that MarioKart incident. She stuck her tongue out at him with him rolling his eyes in response and shifting his attention to Jana. 

"We need to start packing. Our flight is at seven in the morning tomorrow."

Mira whined and turned to look at her friend.

"*When will you be able to visit again? It's been two years since you last came."

"*I'm not really sure. But you'll be the first one to know." 

Mira stood up to stretch before grabbing her leather jacket and putting it on. She then pulled her friend forward into a hug.

"*I'll miss you~" She pulled away and turned to look at her nemesis. "We haven't played any games because you were busy being petty. But I guess I'll swallow my pride this time and say that I will miss you a little bit."

Mira had met Jungkook for the first time when he came over to visit Jana in summer vacation when they were still in middle school. She didn't necessarily hate him; he didn't really despise her either. Despite them bickering and glaring at each other almost all the time, they were more alike than they had liked to admit. For starters they were the same age. However, with both of them being overly competitive and prideful, they clashed a lot and had plenty of arguments, both refusing to step down and admit when the other was right. 

Mira's smirk immediately fell when she saw Jungkook giving her the most disgusted look he could pull. He slowly started retreating to the door.

"Stay the fuck away from me!" He said and bolted out the room. She tilted her head in confusion but soon rolled her eyes at his childish reaction.

"*That's what happens when I try to be nice." She looked over at her friend to see her trying to stifle a laugh. "*Why the heck are you laughing now?"

Jana couldn't control it anymore and burst out laughing.

"*You said you want to kiss him, I can't!!"

Mira's eyes widened at the reply.

"*No way. Kill me. Kill me now," She faced palmed before grabbing her purse. "Whatever, I gotta go now. My father wants me home early. He was actually going to ground me but since you're leaving until god knows when, he made an exception."

"*Again? What did you do now?"

"*I literally just breathed. He's being extra again." She sighed and wished her a safe flight then left. 

Jana headed over to her suitcase and started folding some clothes and arranging her shoes. She was going to miss her friend and father a lot. The fact that she could see them only a couple of times a year was disheartening. Her family used to visit Egypt occasionally when she was younger, but since her father's job shifted, she had to attend the last two years of middle school there as well and move back to Korea with her mother for high school. She couldn't visit during the past two years at all, so even if her trip was short, she was still grateful. She stopped packing when she felt her phone vibrating in the pocket of her hoodie. She took one look at the screen and immediately answered the video call. 

"Hello, Jana!"

"You disappear and don't answer your phone for a week then have the audacity to say hello like nothing happened? What the hell Jimin." She started with a playful tone. 

"Yeah, sorry about that," She smiled when she heard him chuckle. "I went back to Busan with my grandma after exams and the signal was very bad so I couldn't receive any calls or messages."

"I'm glad you're okay. I was worried." She stood up from the floor and went over to sit on the bed. "How are you doing?"

"Oh, that's why I called you actually! I'm doing really well. Turns out a change of environment was what I really needed. I feel so refreshed and relaxed."

"Really?" She smiled softly. "I'm glad to hear that."

"Yeah. I also took your advice. I went to see a therapist." 

"Based on your expression right now, I assume it went well?"

"Yep! I wasn't diagnosed with anything, thankfully. But my therapist gave me some tips on how to deal with perfectionism. To prevent what happened last time and be able to deal with it if I had another breakdown." 

Jana recalled her own consultation session. She found out she was also a perfectionist and couldn't relate to Jimin more. She always thought that she and Jimin were very similar; no wonder she could instantly understand him when he talked to her at the gym. Her smile widened at his words; she was glad he was finally getting the help he needed. He seemed to be doing much better as well, being his cheery, warm self again. 

"I'm really proud of you, Jimin. I know it wasn't easy doing any of this."

"Hesitation was the hardest part. Once I got myself together, asking for help wasn't as hard. I want to thank you for that, I wouldn't have taken the right step if you hadn't brought it to my attention."

"No need to thank me for doing my job as your friend, you can always ask me if you need anything." 

"Yeah okay, I'm still getting you KitKat as a thank you though."

"Oh, you got me there. I'll be expecting it as soon as I land." 

"Right, you aren't here. When are you coming back by the way?"

"Tomorrow morning. I think it will be five in the morning when I arrive in Korea." 

"Alright. Tell Jungkook I say hi! He's with you right?"

"Mhm. I'll tell him."

She chatted with Jimin for a couple of minutes, catching up on what he was up to within the past week before hanging up. She stared at her suitcase and groaned; she didn't feel like packing. Maybe she would just procrastinate until an hour before their departure. She stood up and adjusted her knee high socks then left for the kitchen to get some water. She opened the fridge to grab her water bottle when she spotted a carton of banana milk. Her father must've gotten it when he went grocery shopping the day before. She ditched her water and grabbed two bottles of banana milk and headed back upstairs.

She went over to the guest room instead of her own and knocked on the door. She waited but received no response, so she decided to barge in. She was met with the sight of Jungkook sitting on the window seat with his right leg bent and his left leg dangling from the side. The sun reflected its rays upon his face as it was setting. He had his headphones on as he moved the pencil he held across his sketchbook that was resting on his right thigh. Two words to describe that scene: peaceful, ethereal. She almost didn't want to interrupt him. She entered the room and closed the door after her; Jungkook still hadn't noticed her presence. She nudged his shoulder with the banana milk bottle when she reached him, making him stop sketching and give her his attention. He removed his headphones, resting them on his neck and took the bottle from her hand before thanking her. 

"Wow, this is amazing." She complimented him as she looked over the drawing. It was a rose full of thorns wrapped around a skull. The page was full of many other doodles as well. A flower, a vase, another skull, and a random simple sketch of Taehyung near the right corner. 

It was no secret that Jungkook was good at anything related to arts. He could sketch, paint, photograph, and edit both videos and photos. Jana always wondered how someone could be so perfect at everything. Beside arts, Jungkook was so talented in the music field; he could sing, dance, rap, and play the guitar and drums. And when it came to sports, Jungkook excelled at boxing, running, swimming, tennis, and baseball. She could never figure out how his brain had the capacity to withhold all that information. She sat down opposite to Jungkook, mimicking his position and opening her own banana milk to take a sip. 

"Mira left, also she meant to say that she will miss you." 

"I know. She came here to emphasize on that," He sipped his drink and got back to sketching. "She should really practice her pronunciation." 

"Will you miss her then?"

"I will miss messing with her and pissing her off, yes." 

"You're unbelievable." She laughed and turned her head to look out the window. She saw the sun setting and some trees swaying along with the wind. She could see an airplane in the distance, almost blending in with the flock of birds that flew freely in the flaming sky. She felt so peaceful like that. Just sitting with Jungkook in silence as he sketched away and enjoying some banana milk. It was nothing grand, but she loved it. She always loved the simplest things; no matter how small, they were still enchanting. She hoped to have more moments like these in the future. 

Jungkook noticed that she wasn't going to start talking any time soon, so he put on his headphones again and listened to a song called Scenery by the one and only V. His voice was always soothing, setting the perfect atmosphere for when Jungkook sketched. He still could not believe that he met and befriended his favorite idol. He didn't know when he would be able to see him again, but he looked forward to it. Life seemed to smile on him. He met his favorite idol, made up with his friend, and saw his friend relaxed and smiling again. Things were getting better, and he hoped they would stay that way. 

Chapter Text

The fifteenth of December rolled by, marking the end of the first semester and the start of winter break. It was the most awaited day, also known as, the day of the competition. The dance group stood backstage nervously. They had all met up at their usual practice room in the gym earlier to practice one last time and put on their performance outfits. They decided to keep it simple with just white tops and black jeans and some additional accessories. Jungkook wore a black and white striped shirt underneath his white hoodie that had slits on the side, Jana wrapped a grey flannel around her waist with her white t-shirt tucked into her pants, and Hoseok put on a black cap. Jimin decided to stick to a white full sleeve which he also tucked in. Hoseok passed the time by stretching as he waited for their number to be called. Jana noticed Jimin standing alone and muttering to himself. He didn't bother hiding how nervous he was. 

"Jimin?" 

He jumped at the sudden calling of his name.

"Don't worry. You look good. And we'll all do well." 

She held up her hand for a high five which he smiled at and returned. She then walked back to stand beside Jungkook. She turned to peek at the crowd through the small gap in the door. She could see the judges seated behind a long table in front of the seats that the rest of the school students and some parents occupied. She looked around some more and spotted her mother. She sighed and stood back in place. Hoseok was still stretching; he didn't really need to since they warmed up and stretched enough in the practice room, but he was trying to distract himself from all the pressure he felt at that moment. Would this be the year they finally win? Or would he have to return home with another disappointment and his father telling him off again. 

Hoseok stood up and turned to look around. The competition was held at their school but others from outside were allowed to participate since it was a collaboration with an entertainment company. He might have been the president of the dance club, but he was sure the other participants were amazing dancers, too. He shook his head to get rid of any pessimistic thoughts and wore his usual smile. If the others were stressed, he had to be their support. He took it upon himself to do so as the group leader and choreographer. He then decided to join Jana and Jungkook in whatever they were talking about. Jimin saw them all together and headed towards them as well. 

"Alright, guys," Hoseok started. "Whatever happens, it's going to be alright. If you make a mistake, just play it off and keep going. Let's do our best today." 

They put their hands together in the center to cheer. 

"Two, three. . ."

"4-J!!" 

Not long after, they heard a staff member calling their number. They followed him to the entrance of the stage and halted when he stopped in front of a closed door. 

"When this door opens, stand on the stage and take your position. Your track will then start playing." 

They nodded and stood in their place after the staff left.

"Oh my god, we're up next any moment now." 

"You'll be fine, Jimin." Hoseok said and patted his back.

"Marty, I'm scared." Jana shifted on her heel back and forth. 

"I don't know whether to laugh or slap you right now." Jungkook said upon hearing her comment. 

"Just keep your mouth shut, how about that?" 

Before Jungkook had the chance to reply, the door in front of them opened, and they were rushed to the stage by another staff member. They paced towards the center, the judges and crowd coming into view when they took their position. Jungkook stood in the middle with Hoseok on his right, Jimin on his left, and Jana behind him but still visible to the audience. Damn, it's really happening. 

Coco by Meek Mill started playing and their bodies automatically followed the beat. They danced like how they had practiced for months; they were all synchronized and matching each other's energy. They kept their expressions sharp, matching the mood of the song and dance. They ended the first dance perfectly on beat. The three dancers moved to the side for Jimin's solo part as the music shifted to Chris Brown's Take you down. 

Jimin moved his body ever so gracefully. He was delicate yet full of power. Jana observed him from the side as she panted almost out of breath. She always loved watching him dance.
Damn, Jimin. Slay. 

After a few seconds, they joined him, with him still taking the lead. The song gave off a calmer, more sexy vibe compared to the first one but required a lot of stamina. The second song was done and over with, leading to the third one being Don't wanna fall in love by Kyle with Hoseok taking the center and his other three friends behind him. Saying that Hoseok was a good dancer would be a huge understatement. He danced ever since he could walk, and as middle school rolled in, he could already come up with his own choreographies. It was expected of him since dancing was his passion and dream. He ended his part smoothly and turned to the left to change formation. 

Jana slid across to take her position in the center. There was a pause between the song shifting as they all stilled in their place. The fourth and final song, which was Ariana Grande's 7 Rings, started followed by the rest of the performance. Jana stepped and turned, making sure she was matching her moves with the other members. She tried to keep on a sassy expression and a playful vibe, but she was mentally screaming. She really hoped she wouldn't mess up. A part came where they had to do a turn, and she almost slipped but regained her balance last minute. Her eyes met Hoseok's for a second as she slightly panicked, though she was proud that she could keep her expression the same without showing how anxious she was. The last song came to an end as they did their finishing pose. Screams and cheers erupted from the crowd. They stared at the audience, heavily panting and slightly smiling. They saw the judges giving them satisfied looks as they clapped along with the crowd before proceeding to write down their evaluation. A staff member came to escort them backstage and inform them that they were free to leave as the results would be sent to them via email in a few days. 

As soon as they entered the room, Jimin and Jungkook slumped down on the floor while Jana went to grab some water bottles and handed it over to them then sat on a chair beside the other two. Hoseok walked towards them with a towel around his neck.

"Jana, you almost slipped." 

Jana put her bottle down after drinking.

"Ah, shit. You noticed?"

"Of course I did." He said while smiling. He didn't seem mad at that little mistake at all.

"But you regained balance quickly, it wasn't that noticeable so no need to worry." 

The other three stared at him in awe. Hoseok? Letting go of a mistake related to dance without an hour lecture? In a competition above all? 

"What?" 

"You're seriously letting this go?" Jungkook asked, setting his water bottle on the floor beside him.

"Yeah, it's fine. I've already accepted the results however they would turn out. Plus, she stayed professional about it. Good job on that, by the way." 

She smiled and threw him a water bottle which he easily caught and gulped down in a matter of seconds. She saw Jungkook typing fast on his phone and bent to peek at his phone but didn't really read anything. She knew how to respect people's privacy. 

"Who are you talking to?"

Jungkook flinched and turned to look at her.

"Taehyung. He said he would've come today if he wasn't busy." 

"Aw, that's so sweet of him. Do you guys talk a lot?"

"From time to time, yeah. What's with you?"

"Oh nothing. Just seeing how you get along with my date that you stole." 

Jungkook pushed her face away while rolling his eyes. 

"That was two months ago. Move on already."

She laughed then stood up from her seat and bent her left elbow behind her head to stretch.

"Do you guys want to go to EatJin for a bit?" 

"Yeah, let's go. We haven't been there for a while. Exams and practice were killing me." Jimin stated and followed after her, with their two other friends tagging behind.

Once they stepped outside, Jana recognized three figures talking together not too far away from them.

"Yoongi!" She shouted and waved her hand in the air to grab his attention. The said guy noticed her attempts and smiled as he waved back then said something to his other two companions before they all headed over to where she was standing.  

"You guys were amazing." Yoongi said as he high fived Jana who smiled and thanked him. 

"Hello, Kook."

"Hey, hyung." 

The two took a side to catch up with each other since the last time they met and talked properly was during the recording of Yoongi's song. They did not mean to drift that long, life just happened. Hoseok observed their interactions from afar. He didn't step closer when Jana greeted the unknown guys.
So that's the infamous Yoongi, huh. 

He shook his head and forced a smile. He had no reason to resent him anymore; not that he should have any to begin with. Hoseok was somewhat disappointed in himself for letting his emotions take over him, especially since he never hated anyone. He decided to let those past thoughts go. 

"Namjoon, I'm glad you could make it."

"Of course. I didn't know you were already familiar with Jin and Yoongi, though."

"Oh, I didn't know you knew them either."

"We're all in the same university. I produce some songs with Yoongi as a side hobby sometimes."

"Shut up. That's amazing."

"What's amazing is what you guys did up there."

"I wouldn't expect less from my daughter." Seokjin butted into their conversation and ruffled Jana's hair. She complained about spending hours on her hair just for him to ruin it in seconds. 

Over the past couple of months, Jana and Seokjin became closer. She would always stop by the cafe in the morning before school, and whenever he was present, he would give her a free muffin. Jungkook would occasionally accompany her just to see Seokjin all riled up. He had developed the habit of pissing him off. What he didn't know, though, was that Seokjin was completely unbothered and even liked Jungkook's company. He even came up with a nickname for the younger and would call him Bunny Boy most of the time. 

"I leave her in his care for roughly two months and now he adopts her." 

They all turned their heads towards the additional person that had just arrived. Jana saw her mother approaching her with a wide grin. 

"Hello, aunt Mirae!" Seokjin greeted his mom's best friend with a smile and a bow as she smiled back at him in acknowledgement. 

"Hey, mom!" She ran over to her mother away from the group. Mirae turned to look over at the boys whom her daughter was standing with a second before and sighed. 

"Why do I never see you around girls. You have six friends and they're all guys."

"I don't know, I just happened to click with them. Did you record the performance?"

"Of course! I even sent it to Mira and your father."

She talked with her mother for few minutes before informing her that she was going with her friends to EatJin. Mirae agreed and gave her daughter some money then waved her goodbye and left. Jana returned to her friends. They decided to split into two groups since one car wouldn't fit them all. Hoseok and Namjoon would go with Jin while Jungkook, Jimin, and Jana would ride with Yoongi. They were about to head towards the parking lot when a sudden new voice interrupted. 

"Hoseok."

Hoseok turned around to face the caller, eyes widening as he immediately recognized the voice. It was a voice that had scrutinized him for as long as he could remember. 

"Dad?" 

He stayed silent for a while before turning to his friends and telling them to go on ahead and that he would follow right behind them. Jana was hesitant at first but then nodded and motioned for the others to head to the cars. Hoseok turned back to face his father who took steps to stand closer. 

"I didn't think you would come today." He said and hung his head low, eyes moving looking everywhere except at his father's.

"Listen, Hoseok," Mr. Jung for once didn't look angry or mad, which came as a surprise to Hoseok. "I want to tell you that I'm sorry for everything I said to you. I admit I wasn't going to come when your friend invited me at first. Jana, was it? But seeing you dance just now, you looked so happy. I'm sure you will do great things if you continue with this field. So from now on, even if you don't win this scholarship I want you to know that I will support you with whatever decision you take." 

Hoseok stared in disbelief. Never had he ever thought that this day would come. He couldn't contain himself and burst out in tears as his father hugged him while muttering how proud he was. He couldn't believe that he finally got what he wanted the most. Beside the scholarship, support and acknowledgement from his father was what he had sought for so long. 

***

They were all seated at a table in the usual cafe. Seokjin wasn't needed around that day, so he decided to join them. Yoongi was showing Jungkook the song they had worked on. So Far Away, it was called. He decided to add a part for Seokjin in it as well, which came as a surprise for both Jungkook and Jana that Seokjin could even sing. Not just that, but he had one of the most beautiful voices they had ever heard. Jana felt her phone vibrate and accepted the video call from Mira.

"*Girl! First of all what the hell, the dance performance was bomb!"

"*Thank you, Mira. I was so nervous it wouldn't turn out well."

"*Nah, you slayed it. Anyway, Hoseok was so hot oh my god. Wait! I've been practicing, and I think I can say this in Korean."

"*Wait, Mira. You're on-"

"Hoseok is so freaking hot!!!" 

The table fell into sudden silence as everyone stared at Jana's phone in shock. 

"-Speaker." 

Jana sighed and turned to look at Hoseok who cleared his throat and shifted his gaze elsewhere. His face was already heating up. Jungkook and Jimin immediately turned to him with their smirks printed on their faces and started teasing him nonstop. He made a mental note to confront her later. Mira stayed silent, taking in what her friend just told her.

"*Please tell me he isn't with you, we're not that open yet."

"*He is, along with some friends too. . ."

"*You're not making this any better! You know what, nice knowing you. I'm gonna go jump off a building." And with that she cut the call. 

Jana switched her phone off and started conversing with Namjoon about various topics, from poetry to music to cursing at chemistry. 

"About that. Thanks again for your chemistry notes. You made everything so simple."

"No problem. You can ask me if you need help with anything."

"You should not have said that. I'm gonna message you about calculus nonstop."

"Oh, I liked calculus, too." 

"You're such a psychopath, I can't." 

He laughed at her remark and shifted his gaze to his right to look at Seokjin who had asked him a question.

Jana looked around the table, observing everyone who was seated with her. They all talked to each other with playful grins and content expressions. The ones who didn't know each other still conversed, even Hoseok took initiative and talked to Yoongi. They surprisingly clicked even though they were polar opposites. The sight made a smile creep on her face. She hoped that everything would always be this relaxing, although she knew it was impossible. She had to stay realistic. Life came with its ups and downs, smiles and tears, glee and gloom. You can't have a coin with two tails or two heads. You need a balance of both. For the time being, she could only embrace the current happiness and live in the moment. 

Chapter Text

It was a nice day, Jana admitted. The weather wasn't too cold for her despite it being December. The snow was falling, piling up on top of tree branches that had long bid their leaves farewell. The fog engulfed the top of the buildings as the clouds made it clear that they wouldn't disappear any time soon. Jungkook, on the other hand, was freezing as he wrapped himself with two blankets and kept his hands warm by holding his mug of hot chocolate. As much as he loved playing in the snow, he wasn't a fan of the cold. They were both seated on Jungkook's bed, enjoying some hot chocolate while watching Iron Man for the twenty-sixth time. The exams and competition were long over and done with; they could finally lie back without worrying about anything for a while.

The obnoxious sound of a ringing phone disturbed their quiet leisure time. Jungkook irritatedly groaned and urged Jana to put her phone on silent. She rolled her eyes and proceeded to pick her phone up from the bedside table and answer the call. 

"Get up. Hoseok wants to meet up at the gym."

"If you think I'm leaving my warm bed and hot chocolate to go outside in the blizzard then you're out of your damn mind." 

"Stop being dramatic, he says it's important." She dragged the blanket away from him and placed it by the edge of the bed only for him to complain and whine more. 

And after fifteen minutes of convincing and pulling at blankets, he finally dragged his feet to his closet. He pulled out his clothes and reached for the bathroom to change while Jana wore her black denim jacket on top of her white hoodie and put on a black beanie with the words "Sunday Mood", adjusting her hair underneath to show her side bangs. She went downstairs to put on her checkered Vans and waited for Jungkook to get ready. As she was tying her shoelace, she heard a door closing from behind her and some steps coming closer.

"Oh, are you leaving already?" Mrs. Jeon asked while wiping her hands with a towel. She had just left from the kitchen after preparing lunch. 

"Hello, auntie. Jungkook and I will just head out for a bit, is that okay?" 

Mrs. Jeon seemed taken aback for a minute before clapping her hands together and smiling widely; excitement was glowing on her face. 

"Is he finally taking you out!!" 

"What?" Jana furrowed her eyebrows in confusion before realization hit her. She understood what Mrs. Jeon was implying.

"Oh, I was meaning to ask. Why do you and Mr. Jeon assume that we're in a relationship. I don't really like him like that, he doesn't either." She placed her hand on the back of her neck restlessly as she saw Mrs. Jeon's smile drop. 

"What you're not? I thought you already were when he returned from that trip with you all happy like he won the lottery." 

"Wait. . . You thought we were dating for the past two months?!"

Mrs. Jeon laughed and gestured for Jana to follow her to the living room. They both sat down on the white couch and faced each other. 

"I'm sorry you feel like we're pushing you two together. It's just that he never talks about his love interests at all, or anyone else beside you for that matter. So whenever he talks about you all excited, we just assume stuff. We want him to be happy."

"But he doesn't really have to date anyone now. We're still young. We have the rest of our lives to think about that, it doesn't have to be now." 

Mrs. Jeon smiled softly at the response she received. 

"You're right. As long as he's happy we're happy." 

"Mom, leave her alone." 

Jungkook strode into the living room, putting on a black coat on top of his grey turtle neck that was tucked into black jeans. A plain black cap rested on top of his head to complete the look. 

"Don't worry, I won't bother you anymore," She smiled reassuringly. "Have fun, kids. And be back for lunch!" She waved the two teenagers off as they left the house before closing the door. 

The walk to the gym was silent and peaceful. And cold as fuck, as Jungkook described. Jana ignored his shivers and mumbling about how he would kill Hoseok for making him suffer in this weather and enjoyed looking at her surroundings. People were walking back and forth, either aimlessly or with purpose. The streets were alight, the shops were getting started with the decorations for Christmas as it was approaching, and the trees were a beautiful mix of white and black-ish brown with frost adorning their branches. She smiled in content with pink tented cheeks. Since Jungkook's complaining hadn't ceased, Jana suggested they stop by a cafe to get him a warm drink seeing as he had to ditch his precious hot cocoa back at home because she was rushing him. Jungkook let his smile take over his features and grabbed his best friend's hand, dragging her behind him to the entrance. The bell on top of the door rang as they stepped inside; the interior warmth automatically engulfed them, and Jungkook contently sighed. The cafe wasn't as busy as they had expected. Jungkook took hurried steps towards the counter, wanting nothing more than to gulp down a hot drink.

"Hello, bunny boy." 

"Oh, Jin hyung? I didn't know you work today."

"Yeah, I'm not supposed to. But I was bored so I decided to come here. Not that it's of much help, it's kinda slow today. 'Sup Jana!" 

She greeted him back when she reached the counter.

"So what will it be this time?"

"Hot mint choco!" 

"Oh! Make that two!" Jana added.

Seokjin nodded and punched in their order then turned around to prepare their drinks. Jana leaned her back against the counter, resting both her elbows on the surface as she looked around. There was only one occupied table and a couple of workers either mopping the floor or wiping the tables. A couple of minutes later, Seokjin returned with two cups in his hands.

"Here you go. It's on the house."

"Jin, don't get me wrong I love free stuff. But not every time." 

"Oh my god, just accept it in silence. Why do you have to argue about everything?" Jungkook sipped on his hot chocolate and turned to the door to leave after thanking the cafe owner. Jana ignored him and turned to look at Seokjin again.

"Yeah, ignore him. I'm still paying-"

"Jana, get out." 

"Ugh. Fine. I'm treating you to something later." 

She put her wallet back inside her pocket and turned to follow Jungkook, not forgetting to thank Seokjin and wave him goodbye. 

***

"I swear if the reason I'm here instead of back in the warmth of my bed isn't as important as you made it sound, I'm dropping your sorry asses." Jungkook grumbled as soon as he stepped inside the practice room. 

Hoseok stopped his dancing and dusted off his black hoodie while Jimin looked up from his seat on the floor. They both smiled at their friends as they made their entrance. 

"Hello to you too, Jungkook." 

Jimin placed his phone beside him on top of his discarded leather jacket. He wore a yellow flannel on top of a white long sleeve along with some black jeans. A black beanie rested atop his silver locks and a gentle smile adorned his face as he greeted his friends. Jungkook and Jana went over to sit beside Jimin while Hoseok grabbed his phone and a white box he brought with him before joining them. 

"Now that we're all here," Hoseok unlocked his phone and started scrolling. "I received the email." 

"Oh damn-"

"Oh shit-"

"Oh fuck-"

"I didn't read it yet. I wanted to read it together, but first of all," He opened the white box to reveal a small strawberry cake. "Whatever the results, we're still gonna have cake!" 

"So that if we win we celebrate and if we lose we eat our sorrows away." Jimin joked.

"Bingo." Hoseok laughed.

They all sat in anticipation, thoughts going wild. Jana mostly thought of Hoseok. Even though he said that he would be content with the results, she knew he'd be dejected if they lost. She knew how much it meant to him and could only hope for the best. She closed her eyes, praying as she waited for him to start reading. Hoseok's hands were shaking as he scanned over the email with his eyes but not yet reading a thing. He took a deep breath then cleared his throat and started reading. 

"Dear 4-J,"

He felt sweat trickling down the side of his head, even though the room was chilly. He gulped heavily and proceeded. 

"Following the outstanding performance you offered in our dance contest,"

Jana pressed her hands together in front of mouth, silently praying.

"It's our pleasure to inform you that,"

Jungkook stared at Hoseok expectantly. His eyes lit up, almost guessing the following words. 

"You have placed first. An email would follow this one containing the steps that should be taken in order to receive your prize. Congratulations, and to more future prominent shows. Sincerely,"  

Hoseok stared some more at the email after he was done reading before lifting his head up to meet the eyes of his companions. None of them had said a word or yet made a move. 

"Bitch, did we just fucking win?" Jungkook decided to break the deafening silence. 

"Bitch, we fucking did!" 

Jana threw herself at Jungkook, tackling him to the floor in a hug. Jimin sighed in relief and fell back to lie flat on the floor; Hoseok stared again at the phone in his trembling hands, eyes filling with tears. They did it. They finally did it. And Hoseok couldn't be more glad and proud. Happy would be a huge understatement for what he was feeling. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve then stood up and pulled Jimin with him. Jana noticed his movement and released Jungkook only to drag him up with her. Hoseok pulled them all closer in a group hug.

"Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm so proud of each of you. Of us."

Jungkook was the first one to pull away and dash towards the cake, taking it out and throwing the box somewhere to the side. 

"Now that the emotional shit is done, can we please eat? I've been craving this ever since Hobi pulled it out."

Jimin laughed and patted Jungkook's head before kneeling down to sit beside him. Jungkook picked up one of the strawberries and took a bite of it then placed it in front of Jimin's mouth. He accepted it and started chewing on it happily. Jimin had always loved strawberries; he would bring some chocolate covered strawberries to school sometimes and share them with Jana who adored the said fruit just as much. He grabbed a plastic knife that was inside the discarded cake box and started slicing the cake. After giving each of his friends a slice, he looked down at his own, ready to devour it when he felt a sticky sensation on his left cheek. He looked at his left to see Jungkook taking a bite of his cake ever so innocently; however, the smirk on his face told a different story. Jimin set his plate down before grabbing some of the whipped cream and diverting his attention back to Jungkook who noticed the actions of the older and hurriedly stood up to escape the attack. Jimin immediately followed and started chasing Jungkook around the room. 

Hoseok and Jana watched the Tom and Jerry chase with amused smiles as they enjoyed their cake. Hoseok stared at his girl friend who had a relaxed smile on her face; it made him smile right back.

"Jana?" She hummed in response with the fork still in her mouth as she tilted her head to look at him.

"You talked to my father about the competition before, right?" 

She took the fork out of her mouth and looked at him apologetically.

"Ah, that was unintentional. You forgot your jacket here once, so I went to return it and your father answered the door. He started bashing you when I said I'm your dance partner and I couldn't stay silent. Sorry if I said anything out of line."

"Don't say that, I actually wanted to thank you," His smile widened when she tilted her head in confusion. "After the competition when he came to talk to me, he actually apologized. He accepts me." 

"Are you serious? That's amazing, Hobi!"

"Yes. He said he would support me even if we didn't win. And it was such a relief to hear that, I can't describe it."

"Of course, it is. I'm really glad things worked out for you." She patted his shoulder a couple of times and smiled at him. They both diverted their attention when they heard a loud thud. 

"Yah, I'm older than you! Where's your respect?" 

"And I'm taller than you, what's your point?!"

"I was born in Busan first!" 

Jimin was tackling Jungkook to the floor with Jungkook holding both his hands away so that he doesn't wipe the whipped cream on his face. Hoseok and Jana could only laugh at the sight. Jana then decided to get up and break them apart. She pulled Jimin away and handed him a a tissue to wipe his hands and face while he just glared at Jungkook who took his chance to escape and return to his forgotten cake slice. 

Hoseok's bright smile never left his face. He was content with everything in his life at that moment. He got his father's support and won the competition. Additionally, he had the best of friends by his side and a potential love interest. He couldn't ask for more. His mind wandered to the future when he'd have to leave school and go to university, but he shook his head and decided to think of the present and enjoy the small moments of happiness and cherish them as much as he could. 

Chapter Text

"Jimin, come on!!!"

"Stop yelling at me! I said I'm coming." 

She heard him shout back from his room upstairs. She had been waiting for him by the door for twenty minutes already, and she knew that he was nowhere near ready. 

"Jin is waiting outside in the car and we're the last ones to go, hurry up!"

"Stop rushing me!" He hurried down the stairs with his suitcase barely closing as it was stuffed. "I almost forgot my sunscreen"

"What the heck took you so long? I called you an hour ago!" 

"Shh. I needed to make sure I didn't forget anything, okay? How can I leave the house without my towel, or shampoo, or hair brush, or hair serum, or hair oil, or soap, or sunscreen, or slippers, or a volleyball, or snacks, or-"

"Okay, I got it! Can we please leave?" Jana turned around without waiting for him to reply and already left through the open door. Jimin rolled his eyes at her but immediately followed. 

Upon reaching Seokjin's car, Jana hopped into the backseat seeing as Namjoon was in the passenger seat while Jimin was placing his bag in the trunk. After he was done, he joined Jana in the backseat, and they were finally good to go. 

"Oh, is Jungkook not coming?" Jimin asked when he noticed the absence of his younger friend.

"He's already there with Taehyung," Jana replied. "Any news about Yoongi and Hobi yet?"

"Yes, they have also arrived. We're the only remaining ones." Seokjin answered. 

"Thanks a lot, Jimin." Jana mumbled as she crossed her arms and diverted her eyes to look out the window.

"Hey! Stop blaming me for everything!"

"You're the one who woke up late!"

"It's not my fault my alarm didn't ring!"

"You could've saved some time by packing everything yesterday, but noooo."

"Oh, please. Cut me some slack, this is like the only time I'm ever late."

"Hold the fuck up, what?" She turned her head to the left to look at him. "Do I need to remind you that you almost didn't make it to Hobi's graduation if not for me coming all the way and waking you up?!"

"Why are we even having this conversation?"

"Because you don't want to admit that you're wrong."

"Okay, I was late. Now what? What do you want me to do?"

She didn't respond to him; instead, she shifted her attention back to the window and watched as the trees came by and diminished, disappearing out of sight for more trees to replace them and the cycle went on. The sky was clear, and the sun was shining but didn't burn. It was definitely the best time to go to the beach. To say that Jana was excited for this trip would be an understatement. She had been looking forward to it ever since Jin invited them to spend two weeks of the summer vacation at his beach house a month before. Silence prevailed inside the cool aired car as the radio played some random rap songs in the background. Namjoon was reading a book as he would usually do, Jin was focused on driving while rapping along with the songs every now and then, Jimin was scrolling through his phone, and Jana was just staring out the window. The atmosphere was very soothing that she forgot why she was mad earlier and just continued to stare into nothing and get lost within her thoughts. 

Her mind wandered to her childhood best friend. She wanted to go with him, but he said that he would accompany Taehyung first and make sure he reached there without any complications or reporters chasing him. The agency didn't have any reason to decline seeing as the idol had a month off to rest and recharge.  The more she thought about the two boys' relationship the more fascinated she became. The two got along together faster than any person she had known. They stayed in touch even after they were done with their song together and went out every once in a while whenever Taehyung would get a day off. And even though it's something to envy, seeing as it's hard to find someone to get comfortable with right away, Jana was grateful that Jungkook found a great friend in the person he had admired for the longest time. 

The drive wasn't that long and soon after they had reached the beach house. Jana skipped towards the door after picking up her suitcase and knocked on the door. She waited until the others accompanying her stood beside her to knock again since no one on the other side bothered to open it. Jin instead just made his way to the front and opened the front door with his key then dragged his suitcase inside behind him. The sight of Taehyung and Jungkook playing video games and the smell of burnt food were what the four new comers were greeted with as soon as they had passed through the door.

"Who the hell is messing around in my kitchen?!" Seokjin yelled, immediately deviating the two boys' attention from the video game to him.

"Oh, Hobi said he'll make some cookies," Jungkook replied with a silly smile that morphed into confusion a second later. "Come to think of it, he's been in there for quite a while" 

Seokjin's eyes almost popped out of their sockets as he dashed towards the kitchen with a couple of profanities leaving his mouth. Jana only laughed at the situation before greeting Taehyung and Jungkook with a hug. 

"Where's Yoongi by the way?"

"He went to sleep a couple of hours ago." Taehyung answered her. 

She nodded in response then settled down beside him on the floor in front of the couch and watched them as they resumed their game. Jimin let out a sigh when he was finally able to drag his suitcase all the way up the stairs into his assigned room in the second floor. He decided to unpack first before doing any of the activities they had planned for the trip. Namjoon, on the other hand, followed after Seokjin, trying to stop him from murdering Hoseok on the first day of their stay. 

***

A couple of hours later, the group was scattered all around the beach. Jana was stretching her arms as she observed her friends. Seokjin was busy with the barbecue, Namjoon was sitting on one of the beanbags and reading a book, Yoongi was lying flat on his towel as he was dozing off to sleep once again, the youngest trio were playing volleyball, and Hoseok sat alone on a bolder by the shore. Jana's gaze stayed a bit longer on Hoseok; he had been stealing glances at his phone way too many times. She skipped over to his direction, her black crop top and shorts swaying with the light breeze. She rested her chin on his shoulder when she reached him.

"Ooo, talking to your girlfriend?" She teased him with her signature smirk, the one she gave him whenever she caught him talking on the phone.

"Shut up!" He retorted then turned around and took off one of his flip flops before throwing it at her. 

She giggled as she dodged it and stepped back. 

"Aww, your ears are all red!" 

He rolled his eyes in response before setting his eyes back on the phone and replying to a message.

"On a serious note," Jana sat down on the bolder beside him. "How's everything going with Mira?"

"It's all good!!" He flashed his blinding smile. "She's a really nice person. So adorable."

"I'm glad you gave her a chance. You've been together for like four months now, right?"

"Next Saturday would mark the fourth month, yeah. Oh! Speaking of which, did she tell you that she's flying here next Saturday?" His confused face met Jana's baffled one.

"Did she seriously tell you?! It was supposed to be a surprise!" Jana exclaimed. "God, that girl can't keep a secret."

Hoseok laughed at his friend as she facepalmed. They exchanged a couple of words before Jana decided to leave Hoseok be and bother someone else. She made her way to the beach chairs and slumped down on the sand between namjoon and yoongi. Namjoon had put his book aside and was busy scribbling in his small notebook.

"What are you writing, Joon?" Jana leaned over to look over at his notebook.

"Just some ideas for a new poem." He turned the notebook around to show her what he had written so far. Jana started reading silently until she stumbled across a word that stood out to her.

"Oh! I learnt this word recently," she pointed at the said word. "Ephemeral. It's become one of my favorite words."

"Any reason why?"

"I really like the meaning. Whatever I go through be it happiness or pain, it's all short lived. So I don't have to stay hung up on certain obstacles or annoying situations, it will all end at some point. At the same time, I have to learn to cherish the simple precious moments as they are also short lived." 

"Well said- oh shit," Namjoon halted his sentence when he spotted Jimin falling roughly on the sand while chasing Taehyung and Jungkook for making fun of his height compared to theirs for the hundredth time that day. He then handed the notebook to Jana and rushed over to help Jimin up.

Jana watched the scene unfold: Jungkook and Taehyung drowned in laughter as Namjoon checked if Jimin was hurt with the latter pouting and glaring at the hysterical duo. She snickered before turning her attention to the guy sleeping on her left. 

"Are you awake?"

Yoongi removed his cap from his face and turned his head to face her.

"What's up?" He asked. 

"I was just thinking." She shifted her eyes to look straight at the waves. 

"What about?"

"I haven't really thanked you properly for being there for me. I know it's been a long while, but I really appreciate your presence in my life."

Yoongi stared at her side profile in silence before turning his body to the right and resting his head on his right arm with the cap falling off his head onto the sand in the process.

"What's with the sappy shit all of a sudden?"

She giggled in response.

"I'm just expressing my gratitude. You didn't just help me, you were there for Jungkook when we fought, and you accepted Hobi fully knowing he wasn't that fond of you."

"You should not thank me for being a decent human being," he paused as his gazed fell on the clouds. "But I appreciate that you said this, I guess." 

A gentle smile made its way up Jana's face as she stared fondly at her friend. She knew that Yoongi wasn't the expressive type, but she could tell how he was feeling. He was one of the most sincere people she had ever come to know. 

"Speaking of which," she broke the silence once more. "How did you know that Hobi was a good person. I mean it was clear he didn't like you very much and he can come off as intimidating and harsh, but now you both are kind of inseparable."

Yoongi snickered as the the waves of memories came crashing back. 

"That guy uses :3 when he texts, he can't hurt anyone. Besides," he sat up and stretched his arms and back. "His taste in music is supreme. We got along right away, he's very easy going" 

"I'm glad you're both okay." 

It didn't take long for Jin to call them all for lunch. They all gathered around under their umbrella and set up the blanket and utensils before bringing the snacks over from their picnic baskets as Jin brought over the meat he had grilled. The sound waves and small conversations and banters here and there, the satisfied expressions and contagious smiles, the fact that she was surrounded by the best people she could ever hope for. Jana could not ask for more. She didn't know what the future might hold for them, whether they'd all go their separate ways or stay in touch would remain a mystery. There was no stopping what's meant to be, and there was no point in stressing out over something that hadn't even happened. So at that moment, she decided to savor every second and enjoy the present. Jana learnt to appreciate the little things. After all, Life is ephemeral.