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Chapter Text

                                                                     Part One ~ Chapter One

                                                                          [Dan's POV]

My mother and father sit across from us at the table. There's a crease in their foreheads. They don't seem happy, yet they don't seem angry. It's like my dad is wearing a masks. 

"Mum? Dad? Did you hear me?" I asked, the mask crumbled and my father looked at me incredulously,

"We send you to boarding school....and you come to visit with your...boyfriend?" He asks, I still can't tell if they're angry or not.

"Yeah." I simply say. My mother gets up from the table and goes out onto the patio, she seems like she's about to cry. I decide to stand my ground in the dining room.

"I see what's going on here, you thought you'd pull a little prank. Hahahahah." My dad was now laughing forcefully. 

"Dad, it's not a prank." I say bluntly,

"Son, listen. You're going through a lot of changes right now. It might not be the best time to choose this...lifestyle."

"It's not a choice dad, trust me if I could control it I would. But I can't." Phil furtively squeezes my hand underneath the wooden structure,

my father looks into space, as if he's having a conversation with the walls of his head. Five minutes pass. He then opens his mouth,

"Well.... I guess if you can't control it, I can't really be upset with you," He clears his throat and stares pointedly at Phil, "Take care of my boy y'hear?"

"Yes sir," Phil smiles. My mother returns with red, puffy eyes,

She steps forward and hugs me. This being the first hug in much too long. She didn't say a word, but she didn't have to. We may not be close, but I can still read her like a picture book. They accept me, my parents accept me.

******

We eat lunch at my house, my father interrogating Phil on various subjects. Considering he was a straight A student, my father didn't have much to complain about. After lunch I took Phil around my village, we stopped by my old school. They don't go on break for another three days so I was able to give somewhat of a tour. I tried to ignore the many stares we got from my previous classmates. 

"And that was my English class whe-" My voice hitches in my throat. Fuckfuckfuck, calm Daniel, it's been almost four months, you're over this. A familiar pair of hazel eyes lock onto mine. That smirk. I felt like I was going to throw-up. 

Phil seemed to notice my sudden mood swing because he was shaking my shoulder gently. Kyle walks forward, shit. You knew he'd be here, how did you forget, idiot. It took effort to silence my thoughts. Phil saw Kyle and I locking eyes, he felt my shaking. Something clicked in him, he steps forward,

"Are you Kyle?" He asks, his voice surprisingly calm,

"Yes I am, I see you've brought my pet back to me. Thanks mate." Kyle winks and Phils fist collides with his jaw. Ohmygod Phil stop it. I grab Phils sweater and pull him away from my previous abuser. He looks at me with the angriest look I've ever seen on him, his face softens when he sees how scared I look. Why did I even take him for a tour of my school? 'It'll be fun, I want to know more about you'. Why do I put myself through this.  Considering the extremely fucked up school system here, no teacher or authority figure came to the scene. Instead a small semi-circle of students gathered around. Kyle had that expression, the one that I had fallen for,

"Look, kid, I'll be nice on you since you're obviously new here. But that guy, Dan, he's mine so you might want to back off." Phil laughs bitterly,

"He's yours is he? Then explain why he's been making out and more with me for the past three and a half months." They earn a few collective "ooooh's", i hate this so much,

"Dan, is that true?" Kyle asks me, using that saddened tone that made shivers run down my spine, that made me forgive him,

"Y-yes. Yes it is. Phil is my boyfriend." I say, I wasn't so scared who knew now that I wasn't hiding from my parents,

"I can't believe you. I did everything for you. You're such a fuck-up." Kyle seethes. I hold Phil back. He hasn't been violent or angry since Braden. 

"No I'm not.'' I say, taking a brave step forward. The bell rings, causing most of the crowd to leave,

"Yes you are, that's why I did what I did. You deserved it." I boil over,

"No Kyle, I didn't fucking deserve it. Three months, I've been blaming myself for what you did to me. Not anymore. You're a shithead Kyle. And you're going to rot in hell." I'm about to turn around and leave with Phil when Kyle's arm reaches out and grabs the back of my neck. Our lips smash together and my knees weaken. I let his tongue into my mouth. I let him. 

Suddenly I realize, some of this was my fault. I let him. I stayed with him. I can faintly hear Phil yelling at Kyle above the buzzing in my ears. We pull apart and I can see the hurt in Phil's face. Of course he thinks that Kyle forced himself onto me. At first he did, but now I remember why I had even gotten with Kyle in the first place. I remember why I didn't let the abuse stop me from being with him. I'm in love with him.

Chapter Text

                                                                                            Chapter Two 

It's been three hours since Troye left and I was starting to get nervous. I couldn't stop pacing and re-checking my phone every couple minutes. It's already dark, what if he got jumped or got into an accident? I call him for the second time, it rings thrice and then he picks up,

"Heyyyy" He slurs, is he drunk?

"Troye? I've been worried, are you okay?" I can hear heavy breathing on the other end,

"Yeah I was just....just...hiding from Connor b'cause h-he wants to forget. I'm forgetting hahah.." He's definitely drunk.

"Where are you?" I ask, ignoring what he had just told me,

"Caspar!!!!!!!!!!" He yells, causing me to pull my phone away from my ear. God he probably can't even think right now. I can hear Joe and Caspar in the backround. They don't drink much so I know Troye is safe in their hands.

Taking a short breath I said goodbye,

"Wait!!" Troye cried, sounding like he was in his own little world, "Don't tell Connor...Don't tell Connor..." 

"Don't tell Connor what?" I ask,

"I love him, but shhhhhhh....it's a secret." Troye says. He loves me? Troye loves me?

"O-okay, good night Troye."

"Goodnight Tyler." He thought I was Tyler. i hang up and let out a shaky breath. 

I thought we were forgetting what happened. But he thought I was Tyler, that means he just told Tyler that he loves me. I couldn't think, even if we do like each other, how would we even have a relationship? Tyler and him are still very much together, and it doesn't seem to be going away. Maybe Troye will forget he told me and move on. Maybe we really can just stay friends. For the sake of him and Tyler, I hope so. 

*****************

It's six am and I am wide awake. I just realised I have no idea what I'm even going to do for the next two weeks. I could go home, but I don't feel like dealing with my parents right now. They'll probably keep asking why I haven't brought a girl home yet. I take out my laptop and check twitter, so many tweets from my other friends back in public school. I don't regret leaving, but I do miss my friends. I needed to leave that place, there were way to many homophobes and it wasn't a good place. I couldn't grow. Most of the guys here are ,at the least, Bisexual. There were a couple bullies but they were vastly out numbered my the LGBT+ community and Allies. I close the Twitter tab and watch some YouTube videos before Troye comes back home. 

Troye comes in with a palm to the back of his head, hangover most likely. I don't make eye contact. Getting up from my bed, i leave the room with my laptop. I remember my charger so I don't have to go though the embarassment of having to go back in there. Taking the elevator, I decide to go down to the courtyard. Most of the kids here went home for break so I'm the only one out here. I open a new tab and start a chatroom with my friend Eli from my old school. He's gay and kind of helped me with self-acceptance. 

Eli: Hey

me: Sup?

Eli: Did you get with that guy?? 

me: NO! I told u, he has a bf :(

Eli: aw man, that sucks. Break them up maybe? :0

me: His bf is one of my best friends, i can't do that

Eli: idk man..

me: ...

Eli: Wanna get a coffee? I'm on break. ;)

me: sure :)

Eli: K I'll meet you at the shop in 15 mins. :*

Me: K cya

Eli: cya x

My heart flutters a bit, Eli was my first crush and I still hadn't fully gotten over him. Maybe it's time to move past my roommate and focus on the big picture. I have to go back to our room to get ready. I get up from the warm grass and head back into the building.

I open the door and Troye is sitting on my bed, crying. What the hell. I walk over,

"What's wrong?" I ask,

Instead of answering me, Troye jumped up and kissed me full on the lips. I kiss him back hotly. I can't keep myself back this time. My thoughts for Eli washed away new ones about Troye came through. He smells like stale cologne and beer. His hands run up underneath my shirt and up my bare chest. I shudder. Suddenly my phone rings and I jump. I look at the caller ID: Eli <3 

Troye must have seen because he looked at me with an expression of anger and hurt and turned away. This was going to take some explaining.

Chapter Text

                                                                     Chapter Three

After the school incident I managed to convince Phil that it was nothing and that we could leave. I couldn't push away my feelings for Kyle anymore. Everywhere I look i can remember stuff that we did in those various locations. I distract myself by holding Phils hand. It somehwhat gravitates me. We get back to my house after about three hours and my mom is there smiling.

"Phil! Dan!" she hugs us both, "Phil can I speak with you for a few moments?" They walk into the study and I sit down at the table. Pulling out my phone I can see a few messages from Connor and...Kyle.

Kyle: Hey baby, I missed you. Glad you came back. Meet me at the bridge in 5 mins x

My stomach churns. Can I leave? Phil is bonding with my parents, I'd have nothing to do for the next hour or so. I decide to leave a note and go. I'd be home soon anyway. Pulling a jacket on, I step out of the house and walk to the bridge that was a few blocks down. When i get there I spot an all too familiar figure with a cigarette between his middle and index finger. I approach wearily, his trademark smirk is pulled across his face, causing shivers to run down my spine. He reaches forward and pulls me in at the waste. Pressing his chapped lips against mine I push back, his tongue in running along the roof of my mouth. I nip his bottom lip playfully and he laughs. I  forget all the bad times we used to have. I only remembered the good. His cool hands hold my neck as he kisses down my chin then my adams apple. Then i gasp as he bites softly at the skin between my neck shoulder. Just like the way Phil did. Phil. My stomach flips. I hadn't been thinking about him. My boyfriend. Kyle was messing with my head again. He knew about how much I needed him and he still used me for it. How can I love him. He's toxic. I pull away and I'm not aware I'm crying.

"What's wrong?" He asks,

"I have a boyfriend." I say ,expecting him to hit me I flinch, but nothing happens,

"Dan...I'm sorry for how I was when you lived here. I was an asshole and I've honestly changed. I've been taking therapy sessions and picked up sports to channel my anger. I can be good to you, please give me a chance?" The way his green eyes look into mine, desperate. He didn't want me. He wanted somebody. I know what I have to do,

"I can't. I love him." I say, persisting. It doesn't matter how much I feel for Kyle. I knew Phil was the one. And for once my brain won the battle over my heart. Kyle looks hurt, but as he promises, he's changed. He nods and walks away. I let out a shaky breath and walk home. As soon as I walk through the front door Phil attacks me with a hug.

"Phil?" I ask concerned,

"Dan...Your parents told me everything. They told me the details." My eyes widen. All the memories of my past that I had supressed for so long and now Phil knew. Tonight was just the night of the past wasn't it? I hug him back.

I had gotten over Kyle (completely and finally) , Phil knew the whole story of my depression,my parents knew I was bi. So much was happening and It was only the second day of break. 

I wonder what the others were up to but I'm to caught up in the moment to think about it to hard. My dad had made supper and we ate happily all together. 

**************

After about four days of visiting, Phil and I decide to go back to campus. There's not much else to do in the small village anyway. We pack our backs and go home. On the train ride we repeat our pre-arrival routine by listening to the same Fall Out Boy album over and over again.

-

We finally get to the campus and back up to our dorms. Of course, being him, Phil had left his phone charger in our room so his phone had been dead for most of the time that we were away. I check mine and I notice there's still the messages from Connor. May as well look at them now that there's no drama happening.

Connor: Dan i need to talk to somebody I don't know what to do

Connor: it's to late, I've fucked up.

Connor: I've explained but that just made everything worse

Connor: Sorry for texting you so much. 

My face distorts into a confused expression. What has he done this time. I decide it'd be best to just go to his room to avoid miscommunication. Once I get there i get a weird vibe, Troye isn't his usual happy self and Connor is still in his pyjamas. It's 3:00 pm. 

"Hey guys, what's up?" Connor looked at me and quickly shook his head but it was to late,

"I don't know, why don't you ask this guy? Did you know that if you break up with your boyfriend of two years for him he'll make plans with another guy right when you two are making out. Just a fun fact." Troye says sarcastically. So much for no drama. Jeez what is this, Degrassi High?

I let out a sigh. Problem after problem, don't we have anything else to worry about?? I take a seat at their desk,

"Okay, both of you will tell me the story without interruptions. Go."