Archive of Our Own ^beta

Lydia stared longingly up at Lady's containment cell. In times like this, she wished she could fly. She'd fly all the way up to the cell and set Lady free. She wanted to go back to Island 13, or earlier. As lovely as this new one was, Paradise just wasn't the same without Lady there, too. Idly, she wondered if it would be possible to light off fireworks in such a way that they left a message in the sky: I miss you like it was the very first night!

"Lydia, you coming?!" Her thoughts were interrupted by Doom Jazz, gesturing for her to join him and the rest of the Syndicate inside. They were spending another night at Sam's bar. Now, Lydia loved bar nights, but at least of late, it felt rather tedious and repetitive to her. Every weekend, it was this same party. She never went alone, of course, she always had Sam on her arm. And she certainly didn't seem brokenhearted. She was a naturally happy person, and smiling was just instinctual for her. But tonight, her mind was elsewhere.

She was reminiscing while having whisky and it took her away, back to the day they first met on Island 1. She, Sam, and Lady were like three peas in a pod. She remembered driving them wildly through the streets on that first day, even though, back then, she'd used carts and wagons rather than hotrods. But those were some of her favorite memories of Paradise. They were the good old days, never looking down. And back then, Lydia was certain that all the good things about Paradise were true, because right where she and Sam and Lady stood was surely holy ground.

A couple of the Syndicate members who were close to her had an inkling of what was wrong.

"You miss Lady, don't you, Lydia?" Crimson asked, taking a seat beside the unusually quiet ferrywoman.

"Mmm," Lydia sighed into her drink and Crimson gave her a sympathetic, understanding look. Today would mark her 8000th year in jail, exactly.

"We know what you're going through," Doom Jazz was the next to join them, also giving Lydia a sympathetic, understanding look.

Lydia's mind was still elsewhere, even as her friends comforted her. It seemed like no matter what she did, or tried to do, no matter what distractions came her way or what roads she drove down, they all always ultimately led back to Lady. And as much as she appreciated her friends' support, she couldn't help but smile dryly to herself. Aside from Sam, none of them had the full story, and Sam was lost in his own reminiscing.

He, too, remembered those first days and nights. The Islands were new to him and Lydia, the two of them being late arrivals to the earliest cohort of the Syndicate. They'd had a big wide city all to themselves for the very first time and they'd also all fallen in love on that very first island. For the first time in his life, Sam really had something to lose. Before coming to Paradise, before meeting Lydia, he was just an assassin. He did his job and that was that, but then after meeting the women who would become the two greatest loves of his (after)life, everything changed.

They don't know about the night in the hotel. They weren't riding in the car when we all fell. They didn't read the note on the hand-painted picture. They don't know how much I miss her…

ooo

But what Lydia didn't know was that Lady was thinking the exact same thing. As the detective stood alone in her cell, staring through the bars down at the island far below, she couldn't help but wish that she could fly, or travel back in time. Although what was done was done, that didn't mean she had no regrets about the way things ended on 13, or what it meant that she lost in all the islands to follow (and she wasn't just referring to her freedom either). She reached an arm through the bars, tracing the sky: I miss you like it was the very first night!

As sad as the present was for her, though, her mind, for better or worse, was lost in the past.

We never saw it coming, not trying to fall in love, but we did like children running. It was all the way back on Island 1, the very first time. Lady was one of the original Syndicate members. Back in those days, they needed law and order, since they were still in the process of forming their way of life. Sam and Lydia joined about halfway through the sequence, having fled their old assassin groups in order to stay together.

At first, the Island was reluctant to let two ex-killers into the fold, but they'd proven their power by being able to find the Island at all, and then they proved their honesty by genuinely reforming and leaving their old, murderous ways behind. Lady was "assigned" to help them acclimate to Syndicate life, showing them the ropes and modeling how to live as a new Syndicate member, as well as keeping an eye on them in case they ever caused any mischief. None of them had been trying to fall in love (well, except Sam and Lydia, perhaps), but after all that time spent together…

How could anyone spend so much time together and not grow at least a little attached? Especially since all three of them had very similar beliefs, values, and ideals. Even though Sam and Lydia were ex-assassins, they'd meant it when they said they wanted to leave that life behind. As such, they got along excellently with the island's truth-seeker and law-keeper. They were all good people with a common goal: live in peace. To that end, they all got along excellently. Just like with Sam and Lydia, for the first time in her life, Lady had something to lose. She was married to her job, yes, but this was the first time she'd felt something other than just a near mindless obsession with investigation.

How funny it was to think, then, that the truth-seeker and law-keeper was the first of the trio to fall from grace, deceived by a god. Back then they hadn't known they were built to fall apart. They'd broken the status quo, becoming the first polyamorous relationship in Paradise, and then they broke each other's hearts. Even now, looking back at it, Lady couldn't help but shake her head. She wondered how Sam and Lydia thought about it now, all these centuries later. They fell apart in the usual way and now their story had dust on every page, but even though the story was over, it was still such a sweet one at that, because what they had was good, and right there where they'd stood was holy ground.

I won't forget about the night in the city. Danced on the beaches, told me that you two loved me. Not a soul on the island knew about the words that they'd whispered to one another on the very first night they entered their poly relationship officially. Oh, if only she had a phone! She would call Lydia and Sam, not for fast travel or a drink, but just so she could tell them, "Do you know how much I miss you?"

Take me away, take me away, to you!

ooo

Although they didn't know it, the trio started to dance with one accord, all three of them suddenly swept away by such beautiful memories. As Lady noted earlier, although their present was sad, their past wasn't, and it seemed as if fate finally decided to be kind to them, granting them one more night together even though they were worlds apart. They were lost in the same reveries, and that was what brought them close once more.

Already, Sam and Lydia sometimes thought they saw Lady's face in every crowd, even though they knew she wasn't there, but tonight, they were going to drink to her. Tonight, they were going to dance for all that they'd been through, even though they didn't want to dance if Lady wasn't dancing there, too. But they would make it holy ground again for her, in memoriam, and they were going to dance as if she was in the room, little knowing that, alone in her cell, thousands of feet in the sky, Lady was doing the same thing.

She spun through and with her memories, waltzing across the cell, pretending Lydia and Sam were with her. Maybe to some, it would've been sad to see, but Lady was so lost in her memories that she felt nothing but bliss. Maybe she couldn't fly back in time, but she could still capture and recreate the essence of that very first night. Her love for them would never die, and even though they weren't able to communicate, she knew that they felt the exact same way about her.

Take me away, take me away! Take me away to you, to you!

Crimson watched Lady from across the room. They were in another Syndicate meeting, but this time, Lady was attending as a wife. Now she sat beside her husband, Isaiah Bullet, and even though they weren't an overly affectionate pair, it was easy to see how in love they were. The soldier did her best to put on her stoniest face. It didn't bother her. This was fine. There was nothing to worry about. Everything was exactly as it should be. She repeated that to herself throughout the entire meeting. She wouldn't even remember a word Judge had said. But what she couldn't forget was the contented expression on Lady's face as she sat by Isaiah's side.

By the time the meeting was done, it was dark out. That was standard stuff in the Syndicate. Everyone, especially Judge, was very talkative. Even now, as everyone departed from the courtroom, people were still abuzz. Sam and Lydia were chatting, Doom Jazz and Akiko were chatting (surprisingly enough), Carmelina and Witness were chatting, KHX and Madam Complex were chatting, and of course, Isaiah and Lady… Crimson had had enough of the Syndicate for one night and lingered just long enough to be at the back of the group. As soon as she was sure she was in the clear, she snuck away, headed to one of the most isolated spots on the island. It made an excellent hiding spot, and she preferred to be alone.

But even though Crimson may have wished for solitude, her mind wouldn't let her be. She couldn't stop thinking of Lady. It seemed as if the farther away Lady got from her, the more frequent she appeared in Crimson's dreams, both day and night.

"Is this a punishment from the gods?" she asked sarcastically. She knew it wasn't true, she hadn't done anything wrong, but if anything, that only made it hurt even worse. She was innocent, and yet still she suffered. Really, if anyone was to blame, it was the one who completely spurned her, and without much warning! One day they were fine, the next she was with Isaiah! What was up with that?!...

…No, she couldn't blame Lady. It wasn't Lady's fault! It just… happened. Crimson was just… unlucky, and perhaps she'd misjudged Lady. She wasn't the detective, after all, just a soldier who did a bit of information brokering on the side. It was funny, though, of all the secrets she'd known on the islands, she somehow hadn't known Lady's until Lady visited her one day wearing a ring. Crimson remembered that day bitterly, even though, in Lady's words, it was one of the best she'd ever had. If anything, though, that only made the memory sourer to Crimson.

I wish I could fly; I'd pick her up and we'd go back in time… Staring up at the starlight, she imagined the constellations moving to spell out a message to Lady. I miss you like it was the very first night.

ooo

Crimson started attending Syndicate parties more often, just to take her mind off things, although the efficacy of this decision was… debatable, at best. Admittedly, the parties weren't really her thing. She knew how to entertain a crowd, and she could enjoy it, but sometimes her inner introvert took over. Besides, no matter how unique each party tried to be, they ran out of new tricks eventually, even though she never went alone. Of course she didn't. She was far too gorgeous, inside and out, to not have a list of suitors a mile long. KHX was the one she was stringing along tonight, and from her face, she certainly didn't seem brokenhearted, but looks could be deceiving, especially from the master of the poker face.

Not gorgeous enough, though, apparently… she thought bitterly. Lady and Isaiah weren't in attendance. But one of the other attendees, Doom Jazz, seemed to pick up on at least some of Crimson's inner turmoil, even though her smile was glowing. Or maybe he was just horny.

"Matters of the heart?" he asked. "I can see that you aren't particularly fond of the man on your arm." She'd since lost KHX in the crowd. Ah, so that was how Doom Jazz figured it out. Of course he'd be observant (or horny) enough to pay attention to any single women in the crowd, especially one as beautiful and beloved as her.

"If you're asking to trade places with him, the answer is still no," Crimson replied with a dry smile. She wasn't really into men.

"Nah, I just know you used to prefer your lady love," Doom Jazz shrugged, but the way he looked away indicated that maybe he was a little let down by the rejection. He'd always been weak for women in power armor. Crimson, meanwhile, winced. She was thankful he was looking away.

For a moment, there was only awkward silence, but at last, Doom Jazz's face returned to its usual, cheerful demeanor.

"I won't pry, but I just want you to know, I understand everything you're going through."

Do you? Can being spurned by all the women you flirt with on a daily basis really hurt as much as watching the woman you love choose someone else? Can it really hurt as badly as realizing that she didn't love you half as much as you love her?

Ugh, wasn't the point of attending this party to get away from Lady? She wasn't even here and yet she still infected all of Crimson's thoughts. No matter how she tried to escape, her thoughts always led back to the detective. And that was the difference between her and Doom Jazz. As she'd thought earlier, there was a huge difference between him getting rejected by a random woman he tried to chat up one night and her losing someone with whom she'd shared so many wonderful, passionate, intimate moments. There were some things that only she knew, and no one else.

No, they don't know about the night in the hotel, they weren't walking on the beach when we both fell, didn't see the very first time that I kissed her. But most importantly, none of them, not even Lady herself, sadly but obviously, knew how much Crimson missed her.

Before long, the soldier found herself standing on top the of the building where the Syndicate party was being held. She stared up into the night sky, wishing once again that she could fly or travel back to other islands before Isaiah ever became a thing and got in the way. Crimson was sure that no matter how much time or how many islands passed, she'd never stop missing the Lady she knew from their very first night together.

ooo

They met back on Island 1, when the Syndicate was still forming. Lady was one of the earlier members, put in place to help keep the law, peace, and order as the Syndicate experienced its first sequence. Crimson joined a little later, not long after the Great Betrayal, looking for a place where she could continue to worship and fight on behalf of her gods. As both one of the earliest forms of law-enforcement, and the future information-broker, it made sense that she got along so well and so quickly with Lady, even though that hadn't been the goal.

Crimson could still remember that island more clearly than any of the others. It was in one of their earliest days together, one of their very first missions, there was a bit of civil unrest between some of the new Syndicate members and some of the new Citizens, as well as rumors of demons potentially sneaking into the island. Crimson and Lady were almost the first on the scene, a dream team, a dynamic duo. While Lady used her sharp wits to investigate, Crimson used her sharp blade to protect her partner.

Even though they wouldn't actually become an item until several islands later, that first interaction set the tone for the rest of their relationship. Lady always showed a soft spot for the information-broker, whom she'd come to see as a partner in her work, a fellow truth-seeker. And Crimson felt much the same way, charmed and enchanted by Lady's charisma, determination, intelligence, and commitment to justice. Like children running, they battled their way across the island and protected Paradise together. Was it any surprise they one day fell in love?

Or at least, Crimson did. Back then she hadn't known she and Lady would one day fall apart. First they broke the status quo, becoming two of the most respected members of Paradise, and then, at least on Crimson's end, Lady went and broke her heart. Crimson still didn't know why Lady picked Isaiah over her, especially since they'd been closer, longer, and with interests more aligned. Crimson was perfect! Well, maybe not perfect, but pretty close! She was one of the most popular, famous, high-ranking members of the Syndicate, and had been so even before she joined Paradise.

That, she was certain, was part of what made her such an excellent match for Lady, an equally near-perfect Syndicate member. She had Judge's favor, anyone with eyes could see that as well. She was also honest, loyal, noble, determined, clever, and just. She never shied away from truth, no matter how difficult or ugly. Not only did that make her an incredibly desirable figure in the eyes of the gods, the Council, and the Syndicate, but it also made her a desirable person as a whole. She was a beacon of hope whose shining light drew others towards her like moths to a flame. Crimson was not immune to her allure.

For a time, it seemed as if the feeling was mutual. Wasn't it perfect? Didn't it just make sense? Two of the purest most admirable members of the Syndicate as a couple, united as one! Or at least, that was what Crimson had thought. Then somehow, Lady fell for one of the… less desirable Syndicate members. It wasn't that Isaiah was bad, he was actually quite classy (although if anything, that only made Crimson more disgusted by him), but his job… How Lady managed to reconcile that was beyond Crimson, but then again, maybe Lady had only cared about the law and not about actual morality. That would explain why she'd been so quick and callous when she broke Crimson's heart.

No matter how little she meant to Lady, Crimson would never forget about that night in the city, raced on the beaches, and were each other's first flame. No one, not even "special" Mr. Bullet would ever get to know or share in the beautiful things Crimson used to whisper to Lady late at night when they were curled up in bed together. And no one, not even Lady herself, would know how much Crimson wanted the old her back.

Take me away, take me away, with you! If Crimson could've had just one prayer answered by the gods, that would be to whisk herself and Lady somewhere far away where they could be alone together forever, and things could go back to the way they were.

'Cause I remember the night in the hotel, I was walking on the beach when we both fell, and I'd be the one calling out to you saying, "Wish you knew how much I missed you…"

Crimson sighed tiredly. As wild as her thoughts ran, she couldn't bring herself to be mad at Lady for long. As she'd observed earlier, this was nobody's fault. And honestly, Lady's choice was her own. She didn't owe Crimson anything. Perhaps a bit more closure would've been nice, but ultimately, Crimson knew that if she really loved Lady, she had to let Lady go. But, even if Crimson no longer had Lady's future, she still had a piece of Lady's past, her most treasured memento. Even if she couldn't physically do it, she'd fly back in time to that very first night and dance with the memory of Lady over and over again.

Take me away, take me away! Take me away to you, to you…