Archive of Our Own ^beta

Citron always loved the little things in life, even if others thought it was odd for him to collect things that most people would think would hold no meaning to him in a few years, or when he would get overjoyed at the most mundane object or task. But it brought him a sense of comfort when he was younger, it helped him escape from thinking about how his future had been set for him before he was even born, without any mind to if it was something he truly wanted. Citron had tried showing some of these things to his younger brothers as a way to get closer with them, but it had only worked with his youngest brother Tangerine, who he had always been the closest with out of his three brothers. The two often used to play video games Citron had snuck into the palace together.

That was long in the past, even now his heart still held onto the guilt and regret of his past actions and what he could’ve done differently. But now he had started down a new path in Japan, and with joining MANKAI company, he couldn’t be happier that he decided to walk down it. He had gotten a whole second family to love just as much as the family he had back home.

But one thing he didn’t expect happening, was that he would end up falling in love with anyone while he was here, but it was something that he had always secretly wished for, and it ended up being with a person with who he had connected on day one, himself being one of the main reasons why the other had joined in the first place, if he hadn’t made Sakuya bump into him. That being a simple, yet charming and rather handsome looking man named Itaru Chigasaki, or as Citron liked to think of him… his soulmate.

Even though he had quickly learned with the other members in the spring troupe that Itaru had put on a friendly, charming, perfect businessman persona because he was hiding his secret love for video games which was one of his main reasons for joining, it didn't change how he felt about the blonde. The two had quickly bonded over their shared love for all things video games and just nerd culture, also that they were afraid of being close to others and often distancing themselves. But soon without really knowing they had quickly both started catching feelings for each other, which both quickly and awkwardly confessed to, not knowing they would still be going strong years later. But that was one more thing to add to the simple things he loved about their relationship and just Itaru as a whole.

Citron smiled to himself, hugging Itaru tighter a little while watching him edit some new banners for an upcoming stream that he had been talking about for the last week or so every time he had gotten back home from work and during the times that Citron would just come to his room to either watch him play a game while somehow cuddling him or joining in playing the game that had the blonde’s attention. Itaru had picked to sit on the couch with a laptop he had hanging around, probably from some work promotion he had years back so he and Citron could cuddle while he worked on them.

“Maybe I should join you for one of these some pay?” Citron said kissing Itaru’s cheek which made the other’s cheeks redden a little, the blue eyed man smiled a little wider. “You mean day, but… I wouldn’t say no to that happening, you’d probably steal everyone's hearts though…” Itaru said, chuckling a little while finishing up on one of the banners, Citron giggled but then quickly put on a fake dramatic pout. “I already stole the heart I wanted dough” Itaru turned bright red and felt Citron hug him even closer than they already were before even though if Citron tried to get even closer he would never get the rest of the little things he needed to be done, even though that’s probably what Citron wanted and Itaru also wanted deep down too even though he would never voice it.

“Have you now?” Itaru said, looking over his shoulder at Citron with a raised eyebrow making the blue-eyed man quickly blush, “Well I don’t mind if you have.” Citron's cheeks suddenly became even redder and he quickly hid his face behind the other’s back. Itaru smiled a little and looked back over at the computer screen. “I regret marrying you” Citron mumbled into Itaru’s back, lightly hitting him but not enough to hurt the other. “You don’t, plus we aren’t even really married yet,” Itaru said, rolling his eyes, and the blue eyed man squeezed him a bit tighter, Itaru smiled.

Citron took his face off of Itaru’s back and rested his chin on his shoulder, going back to watching Itaru work. “Yet?” Citron asked, watching Itaru try to pick between some settings he didn’t fully understand, the thought of them getting married somehow had always played in his head at times and the two had already basically played a married couple for the rest of the spring troupe members, so it wouldn’t be a big change in their relationship. “I see us still being together in the future you know, so that’s why I said yet,” Itaru said with a playful tone, Citron giggled a little and pecked Itaru’s neck. “We already got rings so don't be late to ask, Tangerine might get worried that you got cold feet and ask Guy to have a ‘talk’ with you” Itaru chuckled a little, and Citron smiled, nuzzling his face into Itaru’s neck.

“So you have told Tangerine about us?” Citron nodded, “I talk about you like the other members here you know, but maybe a bit more than I do with them..” the blonde said poking Itaru’s cheek making the other smile a little. “Well speaking of family… you already know my sister loves you so I’m sure if I told her that we were a couple the next time she can read my texts or answer a phone call she would just love you even more,” Itaru said with a fake annoyed sigh, Citron smiled wider and giggled. “I remember her texting you about sending her old stuff of mine from past shows,” Citron said kissing Itaru’s neck, the gamer blushed and rolled his eyes a little. “Yeah, yeah… I know” the two giggled and Citron nuzzled his face into Itaru’s neck again, both of them enjoying this little moment together.

The things I would love to say to you that I can never seem to put into the correct words to convey that feeling, you’re one of the many simple pleasures that are written about in books I’ve read countless times that are a weakness to people like me without knowing… Citron thought reaching out to play with Itaru’s hair with a shy smile that Itaru felt pressed up against his neck, he always ended up doing similar things to this when he fell into a deep thought like this. The simple pressure of being able to look into your eyes and feel the safest I have ever felt, to be able to feel truly seen and loved even if you might feel like you’re not the right person for me when.. deep down in my heart you are and will always be… Citron's thoughts were suddenly interrupted by an awkward change in the air that he hadn’t felt in a long while, he stopped playing with Itaru’s hair and pulled his hand away.

“But uh… do your other brothers know too?...” Itaru asked in an unusual tone that Citron had only heard a few times, not similar to any moments like this, he slowly pulled away from it a little and frowned. “Why wouldn’t they?” Citron shly questioned and slowly moved to just sit by Itaru, looking over at Itaru waiting anxiously for an answer.

He knew that he and Itaru still had thoughts back to when his brothers Navel and Orange tried to kill him during his coronation, it had affected them as well as the rest of the spring troupe plus some members of the winter troupe in different ways after it happened, a few times he had been woken up by Sakuya comforting him since the pink-haired boy had picked up on the nightmares which often left him feeling guilty that the younger boy had to see him like that. He was still grateful for Sakuya being there but he had already been through enough in his life so far that he didn’t need to hug a grown man in the middle of the night who was shaking over remembering a day that was now just a few years ago.

Itaru suddenly stopped working on his banners and put his laptop on the coffee table, taking a deep breath before saying anything. “I just worry that they might act out again towards you somehow..” Itaru said looking over at Citron with a look that reminded the blonde hair man of the same look he woke up to see when he was in the basement of that old, now burnt down theater in his home country, the sight of that face made him worry. Citron grabbed one of Itaru’s hand and squeezed it a little trying to give Itaru some reassurance before saying anything.

“You don’t have to worry about that anymore Itaru, you know, they’ve already done their time thinking over the actions they did and we are now on better terms, even if I still get nightmares about it, which you know of… but we all have opened a new page and I want to help them more now that I can do so… like I have done with members here,” Citron said, squeezing Itaru’s hand a bit tighter, taking a deep breath. “Still what they did was unforgivable, but they’re still my brothers in my eyes and I want to forgive them for what they did. You don’t have to forgive them, I just didn’t see what they were going through then, so I want to make up for time now that they have grown as people after what happened..” Itaru just stared at Citron after hearing what he said and the other could see hints of tears welling up in his eyes a little, Citron trying reaching out a hand towards Itaru’s face but quickly stopped after Itaru motioned his mouth to say something.

“I know and I am glad you all are repairing your relationship slowly… I just…” Itaru looked away while quickly wiping the tears away himself not wanting Citron to see even though he knew deep down the blue-eyed man did, Citron moved a bit closer, “worry about almost losing you in a way like that again..” he said quietly but loud enough for Citron to hear. Soon Itaru felt his hand be let go of and shly looked over a little at Citron but before he realized he had been wrapped up in the blonde’s warm embrace that was all too familiar to situations like this, he slowly gave in to it and hugged Citron back. “I am not going anywhere any time soon, and you know that, so you’re stuck with me for however long you like or wish to have me,” Citron said softly while holding Itaru close, hearing his heartbeat while trying to time their breaths together as he had learned from many nights alone comforting himself after similar moments like this.

“< I will somehow always be with you in ways both of us can not think of… even if that be in just your mind or heart, I will always be there >,” He said in a whisper knowing that Itaru would probably didn’t understand what he had just said… but as long as it calmed the other down it was fine with him, Itaru’s breathing soon started to sync with Citron’s, and Citron could tell he had slowly calmed down. The two sat in silence holding each other close, listening to one another’s heartbeats, and enjoying the warmth of the embrace. Itaru was the first one to break this as he slowly pulled away and then cupped Citron’s face in the palms of his hands, looking into the other’s blue eyes that he would gladly get lost in at any moment he could.
Citron just stared back, a little confused at the sudden loss of contact but now for some reason, new contact had been shifted to his face being held, which he truly didn’t mind even though it felt like he was gonna melt into a puddle.

“I love you,” Itaru said in a quiet tone, stroking one of Citron’s cheeks with his thumb making the other feel even more like a melting mess. “I love you more,” Citron said, leaning towards Itaru, Itaru smiled a little and learned a little closer. Citron soon closed his eyes and his lips met Itaru’s, the pink eyed man quickly reciprocated the kiss. They had kissed like this many more times than either of them could remember, but something about this one felt different. It was more open and vulnerable, even if it was just a simple kiss. The taste of the new chapstick Itaru had gotten for Citron could be tasted on both of their lips now, the flavor of fresh jasmine tea that often reminded Itaru of the blonde.

Both pulled away at what felt like centuries for air and stared at each, red in the face and soon giggles once again filled the room. The two were smiling and soon Itaru saw Citron’s eyes light up, a familiar sight he knew all too well from being the man’s human ATM. Citron slowly took Itaru’s hand off of his face and stood up, holding his hand out to the taller man with a smile that could give you a feel of fresh spring only he could give to the other, Itaru took Citron’s hand with a confused look raising his eyebrow at the blonde.

“Can I have this dance?” Citron said, squeezing Itaru’s hand and pulling him up off of the couch, and Itaru was even more confused as to why Citron suddenly wanted to have a dance. It was normal for Citron to do things randomly but he had never asked for the two to dance out of the blue like this, little things like this did make Itaru feel special and he would always try to repay Citron for giving him that feeling. “You can, but first let me do something..” Itaru said moving towards his big monitor, pulling Citron with him, the blue-eyed man blushing and following closely.

Itaru turned on the computer and quickly looked for something while Citron watched, waiting patiently for what he had to do before they could do anything. Soon he saw that Itaru had set the desktop background to a moving picture of a moonlight night, since the room’s windows were blacked out currently since the other had been streaming more. Citron looked at Itaru who was just looking back at him with a giant smile on his face. “You’re such a little cork!” Citron said playfully and hitting Itaru gently a little but not enough to hurt, Itaru acted hurt but quickly pecked Citron’s lips squeezing the other hand. “ You mean dork, but well we both know you love it and you’re one too,” Itaru said, making Citron put on a little fake pout, the other rolled his eyes still with a huge smile on his face. “I know… which I am thankful for… but now can we dance?” Citron asked with a shy smile, Itaru felt his face become red again and nodded.

Citron grabbed Itaru’s other hand and pulled him over to a more open space in the room, soon getting in the normal position for a classic slow dance, putting one hand on Itaru’s shoulder and the other on his hip. Itaru followed suit and was a little confused, but he knew how to do a basic slow dance (mostly from rhythm games). He soon put his hand on Citron’s shoulder and one on his hip knowing this is not normally a dance Citron or him did often. Citron got a little closer and the both of them were soon slowly dancing to no music, just to the soft sound of their breathing, with the sound of each other's heartbeats slowly joining in quietly. Both felt safe just slowly swaying with each other, the blonde slowly laying his head on Itaru’s shoulder.

“You must be good at this at fancy parties,” Itaru said, chuckling a little and he heard Citron giggle a little which made him smile. “I am since you noticed, I have years of practice y'know,” the shorter man said with a playful tone, the two just smiled and kept swaying the sound of the background changing back to start softly in the background.

I will always try to be by your side, even if it doesn’t truly feel like I am… Citron thought while he felt the other get closer to him and squeezed his hip a little, a wave of calmness folded over him. “ < You’re part of my spring… Itaru > “ he quietly whispered while closing his eyes, knowing that even someone like him could truly enjoy a simple thing like love.