Archive of Our Own ^beta

Here lies Charlie
You can tell it's him 'cause we put his name on the stone

Harespring stares at the lake in horror, the violent thrashing of Onestar and Darktail making the water dance with shredded fur and blood. He yearned to throw himself into the lake and tear the disgraced white tom away from his leader, to sink his Dark-Forest sharpen fangs into the enemy feline's throat. It felt so tempting to lunge his thin pelt into the cold waters of death, but his paws refused to move - as if they were put in place by countless paws placed upon his. He glanced to the cats next to him, all wearing expressions of horror and fear in their faces like masks forced onto them - except for Whitetail. Her once bright green eyes were dimmed with grief, almost as if she was expecting for this to happen. Is she grieving for the mate she lost in her heart, or for the cat who's-

"They're dead!" a cry snapped Harespring back to attention, his eyes widen as he noticed the disappearance of both Onestar and Darktail, their torn and lifeless bodies doomed to rest together within their deathbeds.

He kept his showers ice cold, used eco-friendly lightbulbs
Rode his bicycle to work when the gasoline price rose

Onestar told his warriors to be mindful of hunting in certain spots within their territory, claiming to care about the specific patches of herbs that Barkface tends to, or that the rabbits there need more time to grow. 

Underneath those words are his encouragements of taking bits of prey and herbs from outside his realms, even if it cost blood to take prey from their neighbors.

He'd judge with no pretense, fish on the weekends

He stands upon the Tallrock, staring down at Breezepelt and the rest of the surviving Dark Forest trainees. Though they had visited the realm of death and blood in their sleeps, most of them chose to turn against their deceased mentors in favor of their living clans - except for Breezepelt. A warrior can understand pardoning the misguided felines that wore good intentions in their soul, but pardoning one that wore darkness in his heart like a second pelt? Onestar shook his head, refusing to punish Breezepelt despite protests coming from several of his cats. He didn't see Breezepelt attack his own kind, so why attach the ideas of exile or degrading the black tom back into the rank of apprenticeship for many moons?

Turn an narrowed eye to his own clanmate that took pride in violence, focus on the new leader of Thunderclan, one who wore the pelt of Tigerstar while sharing the heart and compassion of Firestar. Onestar noticed the humble Bramblestar among a border patrol by the river, and the Windclan leader opened his jaw to sneer insults and venom. To Onestar's eyes, there was no reason for the son of Tigerstar and the apprentice-turned-deputy of Firestar to lead Thunderclan, to turn Windclan into Thunderclan's kittypet through means of words and claws! He'll show them, in that Windclan will never bow down to the remains of Fire and Tiger woven into the soul of one cat. And Onestar opened his jaws once more, as he lunged for the dark brown tabby.

Each morning, get up, do the Pledge of Allegiance

He spoke of Starclan with their wisdom and grace in public, trusting them to give their sight and swift abilities down upon the new apprentices and warriors who earned their ranks.

At night, he would whisper prayers and utter bargains to his ancestors alone in his nest, as if his words would ease away his sins from starry eyes.

Never swim in the ocean, for fear of shark attacks

Onestar flinched, watching how the lake crashes into the fallen tree bridge as if it has come to take the tabby leader down to it's realm. He hated how the cold water chilled his skin to the bone, he explained to his worried clanmates. After all, Windclan was not made for the water.

In truth laid the everlasting reminder of Onestar's sins. It was true that the lake and river water made him cold and shiver, but he had used it to wash away the flowery scents of his dear Smoke - his sins of lust and endangerment - the water washing away the memories of the gray kittypet and her tiny son.

Bi-monthly get his wife a rose with a card attached

He surprised Whitetail one day with a huge, juicy hare that had been caught by the morning hunting patrol. He beckoned his love over, failing to mention how the scents of heather and dirt had hidden the scents of thief and lies - stolen from the claws of Thunderclan. 

Avoiding all the little things that were hard to ask

Onestar frowned as cats upon cats came to spill worries and questions like a flooded tunnel. Whitetail with her concerns of her dear one coming back with the appearance of a soaked rat, Crowfeather pointing out the stoats that threatens both Windclan and Thunderclan, Barkface stumbling across a shredded squirrel in his den with an unusually long whisker, and elder Tornear voicing doubts about his and Webfoot's protection from the Dark Forest.

Onestar has failed to mention to Whitetail about his forbidden affair and the abandonment of his bastard kitten, in that he chased Crowfeather out of his clan for a moon under the guise of disloyalty, that he has raked his claws upon Firestar's daughter Squirrelflight in an attempt to kill her under the stolen sun, and that he has forced the elders to remain in their simple burrow without aid or even thistles to shield the elders from attacks - only to find the elders dead in their dens, cornered like trapped animals as they were mauled alive by evil spirits.

Had a car crash, cardiac arrest, died of a heart attack

Onestar drifts down, down into the bottom of the lake alongside the corpse of a torn and bloodied Darktail. His wounds sting, his lifeblood turning the dusky water red. He has no will to fight, no reason to avoid the comforting grips of death in favor of living - to face the judgement of his living clanmate.

Golden escalator, all his friends and neighbors

Onestar suddenly finds himself drifting out of his body, floating upwards to the sky. To his amazement, he could see all the living cats standing below him, unaware of his spiritual presence as they bowed their heads in shared grief for Windclan's fallen leader. 

Huddled there in prayer around the respirator

He notices Kestrelflight resting his tail upon Harespring's slumped shoulders, uttering silent prayers and words of wisdom to Windclan's successor. 

Catch you later, I'm off to see the man upstairs
They all look like ants from here, stars and crystal chandeliers

Onestar walks away, yellow eyes gleaming as he notices the faint outline of Starclan's heavenly afterlife, the greenleaf scents of prey and moorland tickling his nose. He could feel the breeze of a greenleaf night against his pelt, comforting as it beckons him to abandon his life in exchange of it's everlasting presence. He was finally going to Starclan! He couldn't get in there faster enough, to see all his lost loved ones again among the land of stars and moonlight.

There was an angel at the entrance, checking off a guest list
Charlie wasn't on it, and was ushered to the exit

Onestar let out a loud purr as he spotted the familiar black and white pelt of Tallstar, the latter bearing an expression of regret as his last minute successor stumbled over to him like a kitten reuniting with it's mother. Oh the blind and foolish tom was focused on his own thoughts, believing that his pelt will shine with stardust and the full moon like the rest of the deceased. He cried out for Tallstar, a paw wrapped around his former leader in a hug - but Tallstar remained still like the rock he would've been named after. Onestar took a step back, confusion lit in his eyes as he finally saw the look on Tallstar's face. Didn't Onestar gave up his last life to save the clans from his bastard son, to finally admit to his longest sin and wash it away with his death!? Tallstar spoke, heavy with regret as he explained Onestar's crimes in front of him, to the audience of Lakeshine, Patchwhisker, Rosetail, Archeye, and Fern Leaf. Lakeshine and Patchwhisker were more sympathetic to the newly deceased leader, believing that his death was enough of an punishment for his crimes in life. The other three thought otherwise, Archeye comparing Onestar to the tyrant Brokenstar for attempting to drive Thunderclan out of it's own home, Rosetail condemning the Windclanner for endangering kittens many times over, and Fern Leaf - the eldest spirit in the trial - called Onestar a disgrace for abusing his power as leader, and for breaking Tallstar's promise woven into trust. With three against two, Onestar was sentenced to the Dark Forest.

His heart sank
He was breathless

Onestar couldn't believe it, his soul darkening and heart sinking at his sentence. He bargained and plead, hoping for the spirits to change their minds and allow him back into their land. He stared at Tallstar in the eyes and cried out words.

Excuse me, sir, there must be someone you've confused me for
If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform

I go to church on Sunday, truly, usually more

Maybe this was a vision of Mudclaw's trial, Onestar cried out. He had hoped that his punishment was nothing more than a mistake, a slip up from the stars itself. He screamed how he had worshipped the stars, that he had followed the Code in favor of his own clan. When they didn't move, he let go of his pleading and bargaining, replaced with the snarls to see the higher spirits of Starclan - to make them see their errors and allow him to join Starclan.

Screaming at the angels while they pushed him through the door
Excuse me, sir, there must be someone you've confused me for
If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform
I go to church on Sunday, truly, usually more
Screaming at the angels while they pushed him through the door

Tallstar shook his head and sighed, having to give up on reasoning the distraught Onestar of his soul-bound realm. Any cat would be beyond terrified at the notion of stepping their paws into the land of decay and blood far below the ground in which the clans stood upon, and Onestar was no exception. Onestar screamed, cursed out words as he felt his very soul being slipped away by shadowy vices around his legs. How dare Starclan betray him, casting his mind to the grips of the Dark Forest for doing his duty as leader!? Onestar couldn't do anything but to scream and crack open words that would've never be uttered around kits and elders of a pure mind, the last sight of Tallstar growing faded and distant as he started to feel the sickening warmth of the Dark Forest.

Abandon all hope, all ye who enter

Onestar opened his eyes, his thin pelt dripping of lake water and trances of blood as if he had dragged himself out of the lake. He frowned, attempting to shake off the bothersome water and blood that clung to his pelt but to no advil. The constant changes of humid warmth and the bitter cold didn't help either, nor did the contant shrieks and cries of tormented cats did any good to smooth his new afterlife. He hated the Dark Forest, hated how it made his own fur feel wrong and how it whispered dark thoughts into his head, cooing hatred and revenge like a sick lullaby. The dark voices sneered, shooing away the ideas of breaking out of his prison and into the paws of Starclan, reminding him of his eternal punishment. 

It was a horrifying sign, but sounded like a neat adventure
Far beyond the halos and the castles in the clouds

He noticed how the landscape around him seems to be constantly changing, morphing into moorlands and forests within a few feet - as if he was forced to hide his own tracks. He could never find the same spot in which he woke up in, nor the sharp rocks in which he encountered one of Brokenstar's past followers. It was as if the land itself was taunting him, never giving the former leader any sense of stability as it constantly twists into sinking swamps and lakes with foul-tasting water. It was nothing compared to Starclan, with mushrooms giving off an cold glow instead of the gentle moonlight shining onto his pelt. He always felt hungry, the scents of nearby prey taunting him until he loses it to the corpse of a cat. He frowned, never finding prey, nor clean water to refresh his throat and tongue. 

Fatsos squealing, shackled with some apples in their mouths
Attention whores in padded bras hanging from extension cords
Tortured with the products from their favorite catalogs

Onestar knew very quickly that the shrieks and wauls of cats were brought upon their deadly nights of training, or through the living nightmares that they must endure each day. He could recall several cats who lurked among the shadows, their death wounds dripping with blood that left a faint trail behind them. Many were around the necks that appeared dislocated or throats that were torn out or slashed, some bore wounds that suggested a death by falling or crushed by objects, while others were forced to cough up blood, foam, and even poisonous herbs from their mouths - leaving some with sore throats. He glanced to his right side, the everlasting dampness of lake water mixed with specks of blood that leaked from the wounds that Darktail gave him. He could never get to a comfortable state, shivering from the cold to feeling heavy from a sudden increase in heat to the next landscape and time. But his pelt situation was nothing compared to the mental likes of torture, stumbling across illusions of bodies from his past life. He recalled when he came across the bloodied and torn body of Squrrielflight, bleeding from a wound that stretched from chest, snaked across her stomach until it curled around her right hind leg. He slammed a paw against the body, breaking the illusion of Firestar's deceased daughter. At first, the many bodies of cats he knew in life startled him, ranging from a Shadowclan kitten he barely knew to Reedwhisker and Sandstorm - even the illusion of a slain Whitetail nearly broke him down. His wails rattled the dead branches above him, wanting nothing more then to escape his punishment - to be released from having to see images of his clanmates and loved ones scattered across the Dark Forest with gapping wounds and clouded eyes.

Here, we buy and sell a million kinds of Hell
Imagination is the limit to the devil's clientele

The illusions were one part of Onestar's mental breakdown, having learned that touching the bodies would break illusions into dust. Indeed, his sleeps brought in nothing but of nightmares, of his son Darktail tearing out his throat, of Mudclaw croaking out vague warnings underneath the fallen tree, Brokenstar kidnapping beloved Whitetail and dragging her away to the shadows of his clan, the Thunderclan camp coated with blood and fur of innocent slain cats brought upon by him, and so much more. He would wake up screaming, earning cuffs and insults from those who adapted to their hellish afterlife. He was afraid to sleep, fearing that his dreams would come back in a fate worse than death. 

Up a dingy elevator, no televised debate
Will save you from the Hell you paid for, sorry, but it's "Smell you later"

One day, he had stumbled across a skinny tomcat with dog bite wounds scattered across his body. He introduced himself as Houndleap of Windclan, who had used dogs to attack innocent patrolling cats of other clans until he slipped up - and was torn apart by the weapon of his creations. Onestar was wary of this feline, as other encounters with other residents only ended with bloodshed or hurled insults. But Houndleap was different, beckoning the former leader to follow him uphill with words of repentance and redemption. It was so tempting, a place where he could redeem himself and be free from this hellish prison! Onestar followed happily, blinded by faith worded in fake stars and hidden meanings.

Side-stepped fate, went right for the gate
But you know the devil, he loves a good chase

The two toms stopped at the edge of a cave, the sharp coldness making Onestar shiver. He fought the urge to press his pelt against Houndleap's for warmth, having a feeling that the latter would rather shove him down the hill then to seek out warmth from one another. Houndleap says nothing, flicking his tail for the Windclan leader to follow him inside the chilly cave. Onestar glanced back, hoping that he had not fallen into a trap as sparks of doubt tickled his mind.

There was a demon at the entrance, making X's on a checklist
Who would kick you in the ass when you begged him for repentance
Those tempted by the senses with the cruelest of intentions
Charlie's heart sank
He was breathless

The pair walked deeper into the cave, nearly blinded by the darkness as they came across a group of battle-torn cats talking to each other. Many of them bore death wounds, some appeared as if they had drowned and had to be dragged out of the water. The cats suddenly stopped talking, sneers and smiles creeping upon their faces as they noticed Onestar within their presence. One of them, a fading tortoiseshell molly with a wound on her neck, approached Onestar with the grace of a Riverclan molly until she was a whisker away from his face. She introduced herself as Mapleshade of Thunderclan, murderer of traitors - in her own words - who spoke of revenge and darkness that lurked in their hearts. A blue-gray tom spoke up, green eyes shining as he meowed about culling Firestar's kin, an act of vengeance against Firestar and the stars themselves for what they had done to Onestar. A white molly with a missing front leg had hissed about entering the dreams of young Thunderclanners and whisper poison into their ears. Onestar's pelt bristled with surprise, applaud by the violent and brutal ideas that some of his Dark Forest clanmates had in mind. Worst of all, a dark voice whispered in his mind, begging for him to take on the offers and destroy Firestar and his legacy.

Excuse me, sir, there must be someone you've confused me for
If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform
I really don't belong here, I know you've heard the tune before
Screaming at the demons while they pushed him through the door

Onestar cried out, pushing away the dark voice with panic and fear settling in his mind. He didn't want this! Nor the pain and suffering that he must undergo, eyes clouded with fear and false truths that he would get out of the place. He wasn't Brokenstar, nor Darktail, nor Houndleap and Mapleshade. No, he was Onestar! He is his own cat, foraging his path with his paws alone, without the eyes of afterlives glaring down at him. Yes, he had hated Firestar and his clan, but he would never place his own in danger. He didn't belong in this ghoulish place, where monsters and lackeys bring their thirst to life, to plot and plan while the demons in their heads feed their desires of hatred and bloodshed. Mapleshade, the supposed leader of this chowder of cats, glared at the Windclanner in response. She opened her jaws, sneering that the Dark Forest has no place for a coward - Onestar flinched - and that cowards need to stay out of their way.

Excuse me, sir, there must be someone you've confused me for
If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform
I really don't belong here, I know you've heard the tune before
Screaming at the demons while they pushed him through the door

Mapleshade wasn't no fool, having seen cats so desperate to get out that they would commit darker acts in death just to relieve themselves of their eternal pain. She thought that Onestar would mingle with the group, coming up with ways to destroy Bramblestar and his living clan - a way to break Firestar. Yes! Firestar would be beyond broken if he finds out that his former friend snapped and caused the destruction of his clan, to kill his mate and daughters, and slaughter the queens so that they may not blind their kittens with stardust and morality. But this plan of her....dropped down. See, Onestar is a coward, hiding behind cats and lies in order to save his own pelt. Even death couldn't change him, so she had an idea. Instead of slaughtering the coward, she would let him live - to see his former clan fall once more. 

Onestar backed away as some of Mapleshade's cats stalked towards him with sneers and snarls of insults thrown at his way. He was prepared to fight, his claws drawn out and eyes narrowed at the cat closest to him. He snarled that he did not belong among the demons, in that he was wrongly judged for a "few simple acts" committed in life. He belong with the starry felines in Starclan, where Greenleaf always seems to live alongside paradise. He wanted out of this place, but the cruel laughter of the Dark Forest seem to say something else - that he belongs with them, to be cursed and shunned by the stars in favor of cruel deeds. Frustrated at being lead to a trap, Onestar decided to turn tail and flee, provoking a few Dark Forest cats to chase after him.

You can run from your demons until you are exhausted
One day you will have to stop and find out what they wanted
Keep on running from those demons until you are exhausted

He could feel the breath and mocks of the Dark Forest cats on his tail as they gave chase, their eyes gleaming with glee and dark intentions like a hunter to their prey. Onestar quietly thank his ancestors for their long built, to run like the wind among any situation as he darted around trees and bushes. He kept on running, noticing that a few Riverclan and Thunderclan cats had stopped their chase, but the Windclanners and Shadowclanners kept on their chase. Soon, his paws would ache and be bloodied up, and he would stop to ask them what they wanted with him. His pursuiters stopped, seeming to be satifasted with Onestar's defeat. Now they can break the Windclan leader down, to build him back up to their liking - or to leave him a shiverling mess of madness and despair.

You can run to those angels until you are exhausted
One day you will have to stop and question what they wanted
Keep on running to those angels until you are exhausted.....

It has been moons since he was cornered by several Dark Forest residents, leaving behind physical and mental wounds from their constant torture. He had been able to escape one night, slipping by an sleeping guard as he made his way out of his hellhole within the stump of a rotting tree. Now he was alone once more, lost and dazed as he mindlessly walked around. If he stopped, then his tormentors may come back and captured him to fuel his neverending nightmares. He had to keep going - he decided - careful to avoid any groups of cats in his wake. That is, until he noticed a flicker of starlight coming from a clump of bushes. Finally! Starclan is here to save him, to guide him back into his true home! Onestar, forgetting his trauma for a brief moment, ran up to the starry figures. One let out a yowl of surprise, pelt bristling until he realized that he was staring at Onestar. The Windclan leader blinked in recongzation, noticing Stonefur, Tornear, and Mossyfoot. The last cat, Honeytail of Skyclan, was nothing more than a stranger to the long-whisker tom. Onestar plead and bargained to follow the patrol back to Starclan, to at least be allowed to roam the living as an ghost, but the Starclan patrol shook their heads and walked away. Frustrated, Onestar gave chase as the Starclan cats walked in the opposite direction, ignoring the Dark Forest tom. For a few minutes, the chase was nothing more than a game of hunter and mouse, until Onestar stumbled across a wall of fog. He would've stopped, but a burst of speed caused him to ran face-first into the wall of fog, in which a sudden shock made him pull back in pain. How did he not see that!? He rubbed a paw against a cheek, noticing how Starclan cats are able to move into the fog with ease. This is the border between light and darkness! His heart soared at the discovery, but he was too exhausted and in pain to experiment more on the fog. He didn't want to chase them anymore, to feel anymore pain that felt like a lightning bolt had struck him.

Onestar finally gave up of coming back to Starclan, deciding that he would accept his fate and wander around forever. He had managed to avoid Mapleshade and Houndleap for the first part, though the illusions and nightmares didn't stop. At this point, he didn't care. The nightmares and illusions are nothing but old games, and the cats who wish to break him who disappointed when they came across an disinterested Onestar. It was the same routine and path for him, that is until a certain Starclan cat manifested himself into the Dark Forest.

"Are you Onestar?" the mysterious Starclan cat purred, dark blue eyes lit with interest. 

"Yes, i am. I take that you're Ashfur?"

"Indeed but i'm not here to chitchat" Ashfur huffed. "I'm here to help you, as long as you help me"

For a first time in moons, Onestar seem to be interested in another cat's words. "I'm listening."