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Merlin looked up through the trees where the sun was shifting lower and lower. It was time to head back to the citadel.
He and Gwen had spent a carefree day collecting herbs and gossiping, despite Merlin’s assurances that he could do it alone.
“Of course you don’t need my help, but I love these quiet days together, don't you?”
Gwen had turned her soft chocolate gaze on him, and he was helpless to deny that the one day a month that Gwen put aside her duties watching over Uther, and just relaxed in the woods with him, was his favourite.
It wasn’t to say that hanging out with Lancelot, Gwaine, or even Arthur couldn’t be good, but Gwen had been his first friend and they shared a bond together. So they had headed out the east gate, waving to Leon as they passed, and headed to a location that Merlin knew grew the best herbs for Gaius to use in his potions.
A few hours later and a nice picnic behind them, Merlin decided it was time to return to their normal lives but fate had something else in store for him.
“Just let me grab a little more feverfew, Merlin. It's getting colder every night and Gaius is making a lot of cold medicines with it.”
Merlin hummed as he waited for Gwen to return, wandering the little clearing and searching for any extra herbs he might have forgotten. He was so engrossed, it took him time to notice when the forest got eerily quiet.
“Gwen?”
He called his friend but there was no answer.
“Gwen!” He called again, but again, silence reigned.
He quickly closed up his bag and slung it over his shoulder as he trekked towards the ravine that grew the best feverfew. He knew it was where Gwen would have looked, he just hoped she couldn’t hear him, and not that she was hurt in any way.
As he approached, he could see her small prints in the dirt, but he also saw another set of prints.
“Hello Merlin.”
Merlin spun at the sound of Morgana addressing him.
“Where is she, Morgana?”
Faking to pout, Morgana gave him a small frown.
“No hello? No, how are you doing?”
Merlin clenched and unclenched his fists, wanting to lash out with his magic, but knowing it wasn’t safe. He needed to get Gwen and get them out of here.
“You know, Merlin, maybe it isn’t the best idea to stick to a routine when an enemy is on the loose, especially one that knows you and Gwen so well.”
“If you’ve hurt her…”
Morgana laughed. “Not even an alpha and you want to threaten me?”
Merlin was confused. What was an alpha? What did she mean and what did it have to do with Gwen?
Before he could ask, he heard a twig snap behind him, words were spoken in the Old Religion, and Merlin knew no more.
The pain searing through his abdomen jolted him back to consciousness. Morgana stood above his head, slightly to the right and chanting. Her eyes shone gold as she worked some sort of magic over him.
He tried to speak to her, but his voice had been silenced and no sound emerged, despite his best efforts.
The pain intensified but he tried to push it away. Something was more important, or someone? Confused, he tried to move then, only to find he was chained down. He raised his head as high as he could, which wasn’t very high and looked around.
They seemed to be in a clearing somewhere that he didn’t recognize. He could feel the stone under his back, the trees all around, and see the night sky above him. Torches cast shadows all about but provided little heat on the cool Autumn evening.
His head swivelled to the right and when he turned that way, he saw Gwen, unconscious next to him.
He tried to reach for her but he was bound too tightly. He knew he shouldn’t let Morgana know of his magic, but he couldn’t let her hurt Gwen. He dropped his head and closed his eyes, aware that Morgana had never stopped chanting over them so maybe he just needed something to break her concentration.
“It won’t work Emrys.”
Merlin’s eyes flew open at the name being spoken of in his head. Morgana was still chanting above him, but now he could see that someone now stood at her side.
“Mordred,” Merlin realised.
If Mordred was here then Morgana must already know of his magic. Desperate now, Merlin tried to pull in the well of power he lived with daily, only to find he couldn’t access it. He could feel it, it wasn’t gone, but it felt separate somehow.
The pain in his stomach was becoming unbearable. At a loss, the warlock didn’t know what to do. Despite not wanting to seem weak in front of either of them, Merlin couldn’t stop the tears that spilled out.
“I didn’t tell her, Emrys. She knows nothing of your magic. I slipped you a potion while she prepared Gwen for the ritual and I prepared you. Your magic will return in a day or so, but it will be too late to stop the ritual.”
The warlock started at the news. He looked to Morgana again before meeting bright blue eyes and replying to his mental message in kind.
“Why help me, even that little bit?”
“You did save me once. I have no idea why you turned on me but I owed you for the first time, when you got me, however reluctantly, out of Camelot. I will not reveal you to her, but the boy you tripped as he tried to escape Camelot’s knights, is delighting in your agony. It will get worse before it gets better but you will survive this.”
Merlin's breath was stolen by pain and it took him a minute to be able to summon the energy to keep speaking to Mordred.
“I don’t care what you do to me, but Gwen did nothing to you. She helped you too. Can you save her?”
“Gwen will be fine. The ritual isn’t changing her as much as you so there is no pain for her. She will sleep through it and wake without even knowing she went through the blessing of the goddess. She will learn her fate, but will not suffer the way you will.”
“What is,’” Merlin began until a sudden fire began to spread through his body. Despite his bindings, his body began to arc and convulse on the table.
“Ah the ritual is coming to a close. Prepare for your life to change, Emrys.”
Morgana’s chanting increased as she began to almost scream the last words. Pain like he had never known flooded Merlin’s body as the fire burning within him reached dizzying heights. Morgana finally finished as a golden glow encased the two servants.
Whether it was the pain, or Mordred or Morgana breaking the spell silencing Merlin’s voice, he now screamed out until the fire seemed to boil his blood and he could take it no more. This time Merlin welcomed the oblivion of unconsciousness.
He woke to Gwen’s panicked voice begging him to wake up. His eyes fluttered open and he watched relief flood Gwen’s eyes.He groaned as he pulled himself into a sitting position, now on soft grass, instead of cold stone.
“Gwen, what? Where?”
He couldn’t think until, in a flash, everything came back to him.
“Morgana! Mordred! Where are they?”
“I never saw anyone, Merlin. Last I remember we were gathering herbs. I walked away and everything went black. I woke up and you were passed out next to me. I couldn’t get you to wake up.”
“It was Morgana and the druid boy, Mordred. They did some sort of ritual on us. Mordred said you wouldn’t feel anything, but Gwen, it hurt so much.”
Gwen gasped, running her hands over him as if to check for injury or blood, but something in her touch changed once she got in close and breathed him in. She seemed to be caressing instead of probing. He jumped when her hands slipped under his tunic and over his stomach, which was still tender.
“Gw...Gw...Gwen?”
Horrified, Gwen backed away.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that. You just..there’s just something about you now. I just..”
For the second time in her life, Gwen kissed Merlin, shoving him back and straddling him. Merlin froze. He had no idea why Gwen was doing this, but it had to stop. He lightly shoved her off him, trying not to hurt her.
“Gwen, you don’t want me, remember. You love Arthur. Morgana must have enchanted you while she had us. I’ll get Gaius to look at you. Worse case, I’ll have Arthur kiss you. Maybe that will break the spell.”
Gwen looked at Merlin from where she landed, sprawled in the grass.
“I don’t think it’s an enchantment. I can smell you Merlin and you smell better than anything I could dream of. I just want to take you inside me and ride you hard. I promise you will enjoy it.”
Heat flared briefly in his stomach and he almost wanted to submit. Merlin had always been attracted to people and personalities, not gender. He also remembered how much he had liked Gwen when he first got to Camelot. It was only after she kissed him the first time that he understood that he had strong feelings for her, but only as a friend, so why now was he wanting her too?
Gwen climbed back in his lap and claimed his lips once more. Her fingers curled through his hair and he heard a whimper, not knowing it was himself making the sound.
“Shush, baby. It’ll be good for you too.”
He felt her lips on his throat as her nimble fingers unlaced his breeches. His brain was telling him it was wrong, but his body refused to listen, still he tried.
“Gwen, please. I don’t want this.”
Her hands stroked his cock, causing it to start to fill, to his horror.
“This tells me you do, Merlin. Just let me have you. I need you so much it’s beginning to hurt. You don’t want me in pain do you?”
“Gwen no. Please no. No. No. No.
Weakly, he tried pushing her away again, but her thighs clamped over his and she pulled her dress and underthings up before sliding over his exposed cock. She leaned over him, using her body to hold him down.
Merlin had always thought Gwen smelled nice, but now she smelled wrong, like one of Gaius’ potions after he had left it in the fire too long. It was overpowering him, burning his nose but also doing something else to him.
He felt himself get fully hard and shame filled him because he didn’t want it, so why was his body betraying him? He stopped resisting her as she lowered herself down to him.
With one violent thrust down she impaled herself on him. She let out a pained scream as her virgin body took a man for the first time, but she didn’t let it deter her. Her hand knotted in his hair as she yanked him into a deep kiss while her body adjusted to the intrusion.
Coming to his senses even more, Merlin tried again to turn from the kiss and push her away, but she slammed his head into the ground, breaking the skin on a rock beneath him and making him see stars.
“I am an alpha and you will submit!” she growled before moving her hips and raising up and then plunging down. Merlin stopped fighting, unable to resist the power in her tone. Vaguely it reminded him of his dragonlord powers and how Kilgharrah had to obey him when he commanded it.
“No, please.” He tried again, but Gwen was lost to sense.
She began riding him as if her life depended on it and Merlin layed there, head dazed and bleeding, letting her use him even as his mind cried that one of best friends was raping him. He had no idea how long he laid there before Gwen cried out in ecstasy, and he felt her orgasm clenching all around him, causing his own to be wretched from his unwilling body.
She sprawled over him resting her head over his racing heart and all he wanted was to shove her off and curl into a ball. She gave a content sigh and leaned up. She barely caught his gaze before he slid it away. Suddenly she was throwing herself away from him, her dress falling back into place, while Merlin was left naked and exposed.
Quickly he closed his breeches up and put as much space as he could between them, scrambling away until he hit a tree with his back.
“Merlin? Oh my god. What did I do? I am so sorry.”
He didn’t know how to respond, but it didn’t matter. A cold laugh broke the silence between them.
Morgana stepped through the trees with Mordred at her side.
“You know, when I did the ritual, I knew you would be vulnerable to this kind of attack, Merlin, but I never figured that Gwen would be the first, even with what I did to her. I doubt she will be the last though.”
“ Reothadh ”
Merlin and Gwen both froze in place, Merlin’s magic still unavailable to him.
Morgana kneeled beside him and brushed a curl from his forehead.
“I can see the appeal now. Your scent is intoxicating even outside of heat. I wonder how delicious you will smell once it hits. If I didn’t already have a bondmate, I might have kept you to find out.”
Leaning in close, she whispered softly in his ear. “I’d advise you to get a good lock on your door. Now you can have a small taste of the fear I felt while living in Camelot and how it feels when a friend betrays you.”
Morgana pecked him on the lips before standing and reaching out a hand to Mordred.
Merlin thought he saw pity in the druid boy’s eyes and it was confirmed when he gave him one last instruction.
“Pick one you can stand and let them bond with you otherwise this will happen again.”
Merlin saw him tilt his head slightly showing a deep purple bruise where his neck met his shoulder. Morgana had the same mark, he saw, before they both disappeared in a whirlwind.
The spell broke once they were gone and Gwen rushed to Merlin’s side even if he wished she would stay away.
Seeing her friend so scared of her, she began to cry.
“I’m so sorry, Merlin. I don’t know what happened. It was so overwhelming and I had no control, I just knew I had to dominate you, take you.”
“Do you still feel it?”
“No, well yes,” Merlin’s breath hitched. “But I think I have better control now. To make sure though, I promise I won't touch you again. Are you hurt at all?”
Truthfully, his head felt wrong from when she had slammed it into the ground and his stomach still was tender from the ritual but he felt it best to lie.
“I’m okay. Let’s just head home.”
Gwen snuck glances at Merlin the entire trip back to Camelot. Morgana had dumped them close to where she had taken them, so it was a short walk.
She should have been focused on what to say to Arthur. He had told her he couldn’t make her any promises, but he loved her. They agreed not to move their relationship past kissing until Arthur was king and could change the laws if they were still together. He had told her he would understand if she didn’t want to wait since he had no idea how long it would be.
The only thing he asked for was honesty if she wanted to move on. This felt like a betrayal of that somehow, and right now, he should be all she was thinking about, but a certain blue eyed servant kept pushing his way to the forefront of her mind.
It hurt that he shied away from her touch, even when it was just to help him when he stumbled. He would mutter the word 'promise' to remind her to keep her hands to herself. The distance between them emotionally was killing her. Would they ever be friends again? How could they be when he refused to let her in?
On top of that, she knew he said he was okay, but she also knew he was lying. There was pain in his blue eyes, and something else she rarely saw. Fear. Fear of her, and fear of whoever else they might run into.
She still couldn’t believe that she had not only lost her virginity, but she had raped her friend in the process. Part of her wanted desperately to pretend it didn’t happen, but not because she regretted her loss, but because of what she took from him.
“Merlin?”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t have to answer.”
She waited. He stopped to look at her. Had she asked him something? His head swam but he didn’t want to clue her in that he was hurt so he fell back on snark, not knowing she had already guessed the truth.
“You know you have to ask something for me to answer you, right?”
Blushing she nodded, not knowing how to ask without just blurting it out, so blurt it out, she did.
“Was it your first time, too?”
“Yeah,” he confirmed quietly.
“I’m sorry I took that away from you.”
“Gwen, I’m not going to say it’s alright because it isn’t, but I know you weren’t in your right mind. I wasn’t either because no matter how much I said stop, I didn’t use force to stop you. Whatever she did affected us both in different ways.”
It didn’t excuse her actions though, and they both knew it, especially as she would do it again if she could. Sadly they separately came to the same conclusion that nothing would ever be the same with them again.
“So, do you hate me?” Her voice got small as she spoke her fear.
“No, I don’t hate you. I couldn’t hate you, but I resent you not stopping and honestly, I am afraid of you. I’m also really afraid to go home. Who will be next? Morgana seems to think it’s inevitable and I’m scared. Exactly what she wanted.”
Gwen tried to take his hand like she would have any time before this had occurred, but he snached it back, not wanting to risk her touching him and losing control again.
Before she could apologise again, they both heard the sound of horses racing towards them.
“Gwen, Merlin,” Arthur called out.
He leapt from his horse as soon as he got close and gathered them both in a spontaneous hug. He was shocked when Merlin threw himself backwards away from him.
“Merlin, what?”
“Mate, you alright?” Gwaine asked after Arthur.
“Yeah, yeah. Sorry. You just surprised me. Sorry.”
“You don’t have to keep apologising, Mer lin. We were so worried when neither of you came home last night. What happened? Did you get lost somehow?”
Gwaine dropped down from his own saddle and tried to swing an arm around his friend but Merlin backed away quickly putting his hands up.
“Sorry, sorry. Just a stomachache. Don’t want to be squeezed anymore.”
Gwaine looked at him questioningly, but dropped his arms to his sides and stepped back, letting the younger man relax a bit. Trying to break the awkward silence, Gwaine tried for a joke.
“Elyan almost killed me when I wondered if you two might have run off together.”
Gwaine might have been oblivious, but Arthur was noting everything about his friend’s strange behaviour, so when Gwen, at first, refused to meet his eyes and Merlin blushed and kept his eyes subverted, Arthur felt anger well up.
“Were you two together?”
Gwen felt annoyed at the questioning. Who was he to judge her? He was not her mate and never could be, she somehow knew instinctively. She was free to give her body to who she wanted. She met his eyes in challenge and gave a small smirk.
“Obviously.”
Merlin was quick to try to explain, “It isn’t what you think, Arthur.”
Arthur cut him off now focused entirely on the woman he loved and thought had loved him. Merlin might say it wasn’t what he was thinking, but Gwen’s body language was telling him differently. He thought back to when he first caught sight of them. They both looked to be walking a little stiffly.
“Did you sleep together?”
"Yes." She said simply as Merlin cried out no. She looked him dead in the eye. He could see no shame and they were no longer one’s he knew better than his own.
Arthur backed away from her and grabbed his horse’s reins. He was ready to flee when Merlin got up into his face.
“Morgana took us, Arthur. She did something to us. It wasn’t Gwen’s fault.”
“No? Then it was yours.” Arthur had barely uttered the thought when Merlin shrank back as if Arthur had struck him.
“You ass!” Gwen screamed. Shocked, he turned just in time for her fist to meet his face.
Morgana might have done something to Gwen, but strange new feelings or not, she couldn’t let Arthur disparage Merlin, no matter how much she felt she owed no explanation for her actions.
“You dare to blame him when you know nothing of what happened? I raped him, you pathetic excuse for a prince. Your crazy sister performed a ritual and I couldn’t control myself and he couldn’t fight back because of how it affected him. I took my best friend’s innocence and you dare to lay blame without even hearing the details? I can see what a great king you will be, my lord. About as just and fair as your father.”
Gwen didn’t wait for him to respond. They were close enough to home, she just hiked up her skirts and ran, ignoring his pleads to wait.
Merlin wanted to hide when Arthur turned his icy gaze on him. Not knowing what he would do, Gwaine put himself between the two men.
“Easy princess. He didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not going to let you hurt him.”
Arthur paused, breathing deeply a few times to regain the control he had lost. His face ached where Guinevere’s fist had connected but it wasn’t too bad. Now that he calmed he could tell Merlin looked worse.
The boy was cradling his stomach and Arthur could see an unfocused aspect to his eyes which made Arthur wonder if he had a concussion.
“I’m not going to hurt him, Gwaine. I just need to know what happened.”
“I told you,” he said before whispering quietly, “I think.”
“Ok. Start again, from the beginning.”
So Merlin told them about being knocked out gathering herbs and waking in the middle of the ritual. He didn’t tell them Mordred could speak in his head. He made it seem as if the younger man spoke out loud.
Of course he omitted anything that would implicate his magic, which Merlin still couldn’t use right, but he believed Mordred when he said it would come back.
By the time he finished, both men were ashen.
“She stated she was an alpha and commanded you to submit?”
“Yeah. I’m pretty sure that’s the word she used but my head aches and I’m just not sure.”
“Do you mind if I take a look, mate?”
Gwaine reached for Merlin to check his head but the warlock scrambled away. Hurt, Gwaine tried to reason with him.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Merlin. I just need to see if you have a bump and check for a concussion.”
“You might not want to, but Gwen was okay until she got close too. I don’t want to risk it. I’m sorry.”
“You’re going to have to let one of us get close, Merlin, in order to ride home.”
The boy shook his head, although not much, since he was starting to get a little dizzy.
“I’ll walk home. It’s not much further. Gwen just did. I’ll meet you guys there.”
“Merlin, stop!”
The boy cowered at the command but halted where he stood. The second Arthur got near, Merlin bared his throat, not knowing why, just that he should.
“Arthur, let him go if he doesn’t feel safe to ride with us. We both know what the witch did to him. This isn’t helping.”
Arthur turned back to his knight after commanding Merlin to stay put.
“As it happens, I do understand since I was raised a noble, but how do you know, Sir Gwaine?”
“You don’t have to be a noble to be an alpha, Princess.” Gwaine replied, but he couldn’t quite meet Arthur’s eyes.
Arthur had already known the roguish knight was an alpha just as he knew Leon and Percival were also alphas. Lancelot and Elyan were both beta and up until now, so had been Merlin and Gwen. Now that had changed and Arthur needed answers.
“Obviously since you’ve never hidden your true nature, but that isn’t what I mean and I think you know it. Alphas are rare among peasants, but they do exist, such as Sir Percival. It is the fact that you have the knowledge of omegas who have been gone for more than a hundred years that I am curious about. Their history and extinction is usually on taught to nobles”
“I’m not from Camelot and I’m well travelled. Despite what most of you might think, I’m smarter than you give me credit for.”
Gwaine caught his stare dead on by this point, confident that he was portraying the truth.
“We will discuss this further later. For now we have to get back to Camelot and get him to Gaius quickly. I can tell even without touching him that he does have a concussion and is still hurting from the mystery ritual. I’m sorry if I have to use my abilities as an alpha to force him to ride back, but it will be best for him in the long run, plus who knows who he could run into between here and there.”
“He shouldn’t be in danger. He isn’t in heat or you and I would smell it, although I can tell his scent has changed significantly.”
“Gwaine, I know you are trying to look out for him, but so am I. I believe everything he said, which means Gwen took advantage of him. I suspect why, although Gaius would have to confirm my suspicions, but it doesn’t mean there isn’t another reason, something else Morgana did. We won't hurt him, but he needs to ride, so this argument is over. As your Regent, I am commanding Merlin to ride with me and for you to accompany us.”
Gwaine gave a nod and mounted his horse. Arthur turned back to Merlin and held out his hand.
“Merlin, you are riding with me. You will be safe, I give you my word, as both your Prince Regent and an alpha.”
“Alpha,” Merlin murmured, knowing it was important, but not why, before putting his hand hesitantly into Arthur’s.
Arthur gave a slight tug and pulled him over to his horse. He helped Merlin get up and then swung up behind him. Merlin swayed and Arthur anchored him with one arm around his waist. Motioning to Gwaine, they set off.
They had to stop twice in the short distance for Merlin to lean over the horse and throw up, the motion of the horse aggravating his head. Both times he cried apologies while Arthur and Gwaine assured him it wasn’t his fault and said it was okay.
Merlin hated the feeling inside him, that he had lost himself somehow. It wasn’t in him to be subservient, even if he was a bastard peasant servant. He let the tears flow freely, waiting for Arthur to mock him about being a girl’s petticoat or some such thing, but all he did was hold him tighter and whisper it would be alright in his ear.
Merlin had almost begun to feel safe when they entered the lower city. Merlin felt surrounded and wondered who might be the next to attack him. Could Arthur protect him if they tried or would he be caught in the spell as well?
His worries seemed to be for naught as few paid attention to the common sight of the prince, his manservant, and a knight. It was a little unusual for Merlin to ride with the prince, but not unheard of so most ignored them. He did notice a few stares lingering, and Oldwen, the tailor, did start forward to approach the group it seemed, but Arthur paid no mind and they passed through to the citadel.
Sir Leon waited at the steps and offered Merlin a hand, but Merlin shrank back, curling into his master.
“Merlin?”
“It’s alright, Leon. I’ll explain everything soon. I need you to locate Lancelot and bring him to Guinevere. Let him know I give my blessing and when everything settles, that she is to go to Gaius, but not before. He might not understand at first, but I have a feeling Guinevere will figure things out and help him.”
Ever the perfect knight, even if he didn’t understand, Leon just nodded his agreement.
“At once, Sire.”
He strode away quickly to find Lancelot and Merlin couldn’t be more grateful he was gone. Merlin could tell which people he should be wary of by scent, something that shouldn’t make sense but did, and his scent told Merlin to avoid Leon as much as possible, that he was like Gwen and Gwaine. Not Arthur though.
Of all the people he had run across, Arthur’s scent was by far the most powerful. Part of Merlin wanted to run as far away from him as he could because it did have the same bite as Gwen’s. The other part? Well it wanted to crawl into the man he felt was his. He wanted Arthur to make him submit.
It’s almost funny to Merlin how he hadn’t wanted to be touched, yet found that Arthur’s touch didn’t bother him at all. He remembered Gwen saying she wanted to have him, but even then he knew it was wrong. The only one that should have him was the other side to his coin.
He let Arthur and Gwaine lead him home, but he worried the entire time. Would Gaius smell wrong too? Would he attack him? If he did, where would Merlin go?
It was a huge relief when he got to the physician’s quarters and entered only to find his father figure wasn’t one of the ones who smelled wrong and might hurt him. Even with the concussion, he managed to fly out of Arthur’s embrace and cross the room to land in his foster father’s arms. Tears wracked his body as he apologised over and over again. He was so distraught, Gaius couldn’t get a word in, let alone check him out.
“Merlin, calm down.” Arthur used that tone again, when Gaius failed to get through to his charge. Merlin felt himself try to calm, but it was difficult still and his head pounded worse now from crying and pain. Vaguely he heard Arthur warn Gaius about a concussion. They spoke but Merlin didn’t understand anything they said.
A potion bottle was forced into his hand. “Drink this, my boy. It will help.”
Hoping it would help him calm down like Arthur wanted, he eagerly tipped it back, not even acknowledging the disgusting taste. Bit by bit, he felt everything slow down, until the world stopped spinning and he could close his eyes without wanting to retch. Actually, it felt good to close them so he left them closed. Hands reached out and guided him to lie down on the patient’s bed.
Within minutes his breath had evened out and he was asleep.
Gaius covered him up with a blanket and turned to the prince regent and the knight who looked broken hearted at seeing the boy like that.
“Sire, please. What happened?”
Arthur recited what Merlin told them, throwing in comments or his own observations where needed.
“I never thought another blessing of the goddess would occur after the Purge.”
“What is the Blessing of the Goddess?”
“An ancient ceremony, one that can only be done once a century. A high priestess can change the secondary gender of two individuals, often a married couple but not always, that they deem worthy. If the goddess agrees they are worthy, then she blesses them with the new selection they chose.”
Angry Gwaine butts in. “Neither of them would have chosen this.”
“I agree, Sir Knight but the participants are usually unconscious during the ritual as it can cause pain to physically change their bodies to the new designation. The goddess determines the secondary gender they want based on runes painted on the stomachs of the individuals.”
Gaius pulled back the blanket and lifted Merlin’s shirt, revealing symbols painted on that he might not even have noticed.
“See this mark here?” He pointed to a marking centered below his navel. “It is the rune for fertility. These to the side of it indicate submissiveness when paired with the mother symbol. These clearly are the markings for an omega. If we look at Gwen, we will see the symbols for strength and dominance. The markings for an alpha.”
“Why? What does she have to gain by changing their secondary genders? Most people don't even know what they are anymore.”
“Sire, I can only hazard a guess, but I would say the reason she changed Gwen was because she saw her as a threat to the throne. As an alpha, a chance of a relationship with you is impossible. Two alphas do not mate since they will battle for dominance in the bedchambers. Many lords and ladies tried and were killed by their spouses before it was banned altogether.”
“So she didn’t want Gwen as queen, why not just kill her? Why go through this ritual?”
“Again sire, I am guessing, but I would say she thought this would hurt you more.”
“And Merlin? Why do that to him?”
“That’s harder to figure out, sire. She hates him as much as she hates you for some reason.” Gaius did know but it wasn’t his place to reveal Merlin’s secrets.
“So how do we fix it, Gaius?”
Gaius shook his head sadly.
“There is no fixing this. The ritual is permanent. It would not even help to appeal to the goddess if even there was a way to try. Once she gives her blessing, she does not take it back.”
Arthur heard Gwaine curse before slamming out the door. His mind was churning too much to care. It should be Guinevere he was concerned with, since they had been secretly courting. Strangely enough, he wasn’t as bothered as he should be though. He knew Lancelot was in love with her too, and as a beta, they were very compatible, which is why he sent him to her.
Gaius had confirmed he was right about what happened with Gwen and Merlin. As a new alpha and faced with an unbonded omega, she was shoved into an instant rut. Luckily female alphas cannot tie with an omega. Taking the omega calmed her new urges for a while, but by this point she was probably raring to go again.
He worried that Lancelot would be too noble to take advantage but the only other option was sending a stranger because no matter what, Gwen would be spending the next day or so wanting to fuck. If he turned her down, she would find another, and Arthur wouldn’t let her at Merlin again.
Arthur sat beside Merlin and brushed a curl back from his forehead. He felt a fondness that wasn’t new and wondered if this was the real reason he wasn’t upset at Gwen’s situation. He had been angry when he thought it was careless betrayal, but now? Now it seemed like destiny was trying to fix its wrongs. Why else would the goddess have granted her blessings?
“How long does he have, Gaius?”
The physician knew exactly what the prince was asking.
“Gwen’s rut hit immediately upon smelling him but I don’t think Merlin’s heat will happen quickly. His body is still adjusting to having a womb and being capable of birth. I would say though, within the fortnight.”
“How do we protect him from being raped again?”
“The only way for him to be safe is to be bonded to an alpha before it hits.”
“So if I bite him, will it protect him until he finds his mate?”
“No sire. It has to be a two way bond. Your counsellors would likely disagree with your choice since it is more binding than a marriage contract. Once it is done, it cannot be undone, although it is said that an omega born of the blessing is more fertile than a born omega, so I might be wrong. Even if they allow it, your father will not.”
“My father isn't aware enough to stop me but I really don’t know what to do, Gaius. He was terrified of being touched after what Gwen did. I had to use my abilities as an alpha to order him to ride back with me. He wouldn’t even go near Gwaine. Now I have to tell him to ignore that fear and pick a male alpha to bond with permanently, because a female alpha or any beta won’t be able to knot him like he will need during his heat or risk getting raped repeatedly every few months because his scent will drive everyone, including his friends, to madness otherwise?”
Arthur slammed his fist onto the side table, making Gaius jump and Merlin to cry out in his sleep. Regretting his fit of anger immediately, Arthur tried taking Merlin’s hand and soothing the boy by rubbing his thumb in the joint between Merlin’s thumb and pointer finger. The action worked and Merlin settled deeper into sleep with a sigh, turning on his side and clutching Arthur’s hand like it was a teddy bear he wanted to sleep with.
The next week and a half was one of the hardest of both Merlin’s and Arthur’s lives. Once the sleeping draught wore off, Arthur felt it his duty to explain exactly what had happened to him. As a peasant, Merlin hadn’t known anything about alphas, omegas, and betas. He only knew that some people were more aggressive than others.
Once it was explained, it made a lot more sense to him. It even helped elevate some of his guilt about Morgana, because she was a female alpha, which explained her aggression towards Uther wasn’t a rapid shift in behaviour due to magic, but a natural side effect of her secondary gender and her inability to care who she challenged.
Merlin wondered if bonding with Mordred might soften her. Gaius suggested she enacted revenge when she did because she was worried about the same thing, but Merlin would probably never know for sure.
In the meantime, Arthur and Gaius told him the changes the ritual made to his body and what the long term effects would be. It terrified Merlin that he was now able to bear children and it horrified him more when Gaius explained how and from where the child would be born. He seemed to think it inevitable Merlin would get pregnant and suspected it would happen the first time a male alpha mated him.
This led him to worry Gwen might have gotten pregnant by him if he was so fertile now, only to be told it was no longer possible for him to get a female pregnant. Essentially, reproductively, he was a female, despite still having his male genitalia. This led to him locking the physician and prince out of his room and refusing to speak to anyone for two days.
Gwen also spent those same two days locked in her rooms, but not alone. Lancelot did find her and they let nature take its course. Once the full effects of the rut were behind her, she felt worse than she had in her entire life. Arthur was completely understanding, promising there were no hard feelings if she didn’t blame him for Morgana targeting her, which she didn’t. He wished her and Lancelot well since they had bonded during the rut, neither really knowing what they were doing but letting instinct guide them.
The hardest part for her was her changed relationship with Merlin. Even bonded to Lancelot and no longer a threat, he wasn’t ready to let Gwen in to see him yet. She was willing to wait however long he needed. One day, she hoped he would forgive her even though she doubted she would ever forgive herself.
In the meantime, Arthur was only letting one alpha an hour have the ability to speak to Merlin and convince him to mate with them. If Merlin wanted more time, he could request it, but so far, the only ones he gave extra time to were Leon, Percival, and Gwaine.
He confessed to Gaius that he only did it so they wouldn’t have their feelings hurt. All of them scared him, and he claimed they smelled wrong. He couldn’t explain how they smelled, just that it wasn’t right. While he didn’t say it out loud, Gaius noticed he never said the same thing about Arthur and while he shied away from every other alpha’s touch, he sought out Arthur’s for comfort.
Currently Arthur was sitting with him at Gaius’ table, holding his hand as he spoke with Sir Jameson. The knight was three decades older than him, but before the ritual, Merlin had always liked the older knight, happy to sit next to him as he watched younger knights train and Merlin sharpened Arthur’s sword.
Now he fidgeted like mad, only holding still when Arthur would lean in and whisper he was safe. A few words in Merlin’s ear and the boy was smiling again, even as he clutched the alpha’s hand tighter and refused to shake the older man’s hand goodbye. Ever the kind knight, Sir Jameson wished him the best and told him he was glad Merlin had an alpha that would protect him.
Once the knight was gone, Merlin exploded. Standing and beginning to pace, he started to yell.
“I can’t do this Arthur. You said this heat should happen soon. I’m going to be attacked again. I know it, and my body won’t protect itself.”
Arthur thought it was just being susceptible to an alpha that Merlin meant, but it wasn’t. Merlin had found out the hard way that his magic would not protect him, even now that it was back in full force. The first time he felt normal, magic wise, he had left the physician’s quarters for the first time, intent on getting back to work as Arthur’s servant.
He had only made it near the kitchen’s when he was pulled into an alcove by Sir Tomas. It didn’t matter how much he said no, his magic wouldn’t push the knight away. If it hadn’t been for Gwaine coming by at the right time, Merlin would have been raped again. As it was, the man had gotten Merlin’s breeches off and had been stroking himself to hardness when Gwaine heard the warlock’s cries for help.
Merlin knew Gwaine would have killed him if Leon hadn’t heard the commotion and stepped in to stop him, ordering the guards to bring the disgraced knight to the dungeons. He sent a servant to get the prince because Merlin had shoved himself into a corner and wouldn’t let anyone near him, not even to cover his naked body. Merlin just clutched his torn trousers to his lap and curled in on himself. Arthur arrived with a thick blanket that he wrapped his manservant in, and carried him bridal style back to the physician’s chambers. From then on out, Arthur guarded his friend. During the day, Arthur stayed wherever Merlin was. At night, Merlin slept in the antechamber of Arthur’s room.
“Merlin, I know you’re upset but I’m actually glad Sir Jameson didn’t work out. I need to talk to you about something.”
Arthur ran his fingers through his hair, nervous for the first time.
“I spoke with the council this morning and convinced them that bonding with you would be a boon for Camelot. We would boast the only omega in existence as the consort and as an omega, you would likely have little difficulty providing me with an heir.”
Merlin’s eyes softened and Arthur had seen that face often enough to know rejection was coming.
“I know I don’t smell right, no one does, but unfortunately we don’t have time to scour all the kingdoms to find your true mate. Your heat will hit soon, your scent is getting more powerful everyday, and Tomas won’t be the last one to try to force himself on you. I’m scared I won’t be able to control myself no matter how much I want to keep you safe. I care too much about you to see you hurt.”
“It’s not that, Arthur. You smell amazing. Sometimes I have to stop myself from climbing on your lap and licking your neck, you smell so good.”
Merlin blushed as hope bloomed in Arthur’s gaze only to be dashed by Merlin’s next thoughts.
“I just can’t bond with you.”
“Why?” Arthur looked crestfallen.
“I have secrets, Arthur. Things I haven’t told you. Things I don’t know how to tell you. The reason Morgana targeted me and why she hates me. Why Mordred helped her even after we got him free as a child. Once you know, you will probably kill me before I even go into heat.”
Arthur met the warlock mid pace and grabbed his hands to pull him close to him.
“Merlin, nothing you tell me could change the way I feel about you. When I found out about you and Gwen I was so angry, but now I see I was mad because I thought you betrayed me, not her. I think it's always been you, underneath.”
“I did betray you, just not because of what happened with Gwen.”
Merlin choked on tears falling in a cascade down his face. Maybe it was just better to be honest. Arthur would have no choice but to put him to death per the laws of Camelot, but it was better than the future that awaited him because like it or not, if he couldn’t have Arthur as his mate, he wanted no other. Pushing away he put some distance between them before turning to face the man he loved.
“I have magic, Arthur. I am magic, actually. Prophesied to be the greatest sorcerer ever to live and stand by your side as you unite Albion and bring magic back.”
Merlin gives a depreciating laugh at the horror on his master’s face.
“I’d say I use it only for you, but it isn’t true. I use it for you, for Gaius, Gwen and the Knights. I even use it to protect Uther. I use it on chores because I don’t think it's humanly possible to accomplish everything you ask for without magic. I’ve even killed with it, although I don’t like to, but if it’s you or someone else, I choose you every time. I released the Great Dragon after bargaining his freedom for a solution to end the sleeping sickness. Morgana was the vessel keeping everyone asleep because she had already aligned with Morgause, but I still hated poisoning her to wake everyone up. When I had the chance to save her, I gave Morgause the poison so she could take her away and cure her. If that wasn’t bad enough, she saw me empty the cup of life, destroying the immortal army, and her sister, who has stupidly put her blood inside too. That’s why Morgana hates me.”
Merlin paused in the rush of words, only when Arthur stalked towards him. Merlin raised his arm to protect his face, sure the other man was going to punch him or attack somehow, so he was shocked when Arthur just folded him in his arms and held him tight.
“I’m so sorry, Merlin.” I had no idea you’d been going through all that. If you have magic, are magic, then magic is not evil. I’m not surprised my father was wrong. I can see he’s been wrong about many things but I will fix things, I promise.”
Arthur kissed the top of the omega’s head and murmured soothing sounds as relief flooded Merlin’s veins and the sudden release of secrets and pressure led him to to break down in hulking sobs. Somehow they ended up curled up on Merlin’s tiny cot with Arthur spooning his omega, offering him assurances that he didn’t hate him, he loved him in fact, and they would bond as soon as Merlin wanted to.
Merlin wanted to do it immediately, but the stress and tears had worn him out and he fell asleep wrapped in his alpha’s arms
Epilogue:
Merlin stared down into the cradle, just watching his son sleep. He had light tufts of blonde hair and his eyes were already the same shade of blue as Merlin’s. It took everything Merlin had not to pick him up and just hold him forever but Gaius and his mother had both told him in no uncertain terms that he needed to let the babies get used to sleeping in the cradle.
Jealous he looked over at his husband who was still rocking their dark haired daughter to sleep. It wasn’t fair that he was still getting to hold one of their precious bundles. Swooping in, he snatched little Ariana Ygraine from her father and laid her beside her brother, Liam Robert, smiling as the child quickly soothed next to her twin.
Arthur looked like he wanted to yell, but a mischievous grin spread over his consort’s face as he held one finger to his lips for quiet. Dragging his husband out of the nursery and into their room, Merlin began to giggle as Arthur tossed him on their bed.
“Stole my daughter right out of my arms, my omega?”
“She needed a nap.”
“Right,” Arthur growled, sending shivers down Merlin’s spine. “It has nothing to do with being jealous that Liam fell into a food coma two seconds after you finished feeding him?”
“Nope.” Merlin lied, grin betraying him.
“Well my arms feel empty so I guess you will have to take her place.”
“Are you going to rock me, Arthur?” Merlin asked as his alpha lowered himself over his husband.
Arthur nipped at the bond mark he had placed a year ago. Merlin moaned under him and raised his legs to wrap around his husband’s waist.
“Hmm. Maybe I will just rock into you, my omega. You are almost due for your first heat after the twin’s birth. Once it hits we can try to make a new sibling for the twins.”
Merlin laughed. “So anxious to see me round again, my lord?”
“Yes,” Arthur said against his lips. “You are stunning, heavy with my seed growing inside you.”
“Do you think Gwen is stunning too, now that she is expecting her’s and Lancelot’s first child?”
Merlin meant to ask it teasingly, but instead it came out worried. It had taken a lot for him to feel comfortable around his former friends. Once he was bonded with Arthur, he had lost his sense of smell concerning alphas. His friends assured him that while they could still smell him, they now understood what he meant when he had said they smelled wrong, so he no longer feared being attacked.
Gwen had still an issue because he couldn’t forget what happened after the ritual. It wasn’t until a few months ago when he caught her throwing up and crying from extreme morning sickness, just before he was getting ready to deliver his children, that he found it in him to touch her. As he held her hair and whispered it would be all right, that it was only a few months of discomfort, he realised he was no longer scared she would hurl herself at him and they talked for the first time in ages. They weren’t back to normal, but he had let her feel the twins kick and once they were born, she was a regular visitor.
Now that she was showing, he couldn’t help but notice how much she glowed, where he was certain he had just looked fat and dumpy at six months. He couldn’t help but wonder if Arthur ever wished the ritual hadn’t happened.
Able to read his mind, Arthur pushed up Merlin’s tunic and pinched his mate’s nipple causing a drop of milk to bead up. He licked it away before leaning down and sucking hard. It shouldn’t have been sexy, he fed his babies that way, but Arthur doing it went straight to his cock. Merlin moaned and ground up against his alpha, already feeling the knot growing through Arthur’s pants.
“Nobody is more beautiful than you, my love. No one. I would not change my life with you for anything or anybody.”
Merlin vanished their clothes with a flash of gold and proceeded to use his body to show Arthur how much those words meant to him. When their bodies were exhausted and Arthur was curled softly snoring against his back, he lightly whispered.
“I love you, Arthur, my alpha, my heart.”
“I love you too, Merlin, my omega, my heart.” The Alpha whispered back, not as asleep Merlin had thought.
Content, feeling safe and loved, Merlin closed his eyes and let Arthur’s soft breaths lull him to sleep.