Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Zoro woke up and was already disappointed. The sound of laughter, the sound of...moving was filling the hallways of his apartment building, he was gonna get a headache if his new neighbors kept being so loud. What time even was it? Zoro rubbed his eyes and looked around the room for his phone... there. He picked it up and...

It was 5 pm. He'd been asleep for a good two hours. Unfortunately he woke up. Zoro scrolled through his phone till the sound of a crash came from next door. Zoro grumbled and slowly got up to open the door to see what the fuck was happening outside. When he got out to stare he saw three men, one on the floor with a box right next to him, two standing over him holding in a laugh as they carried their own boxes. Were they all... his new neighbors?

The one on the floor started to laugh. The laugh made Zoro snicker. What a laugh- 

"What the fuck are you doing? "

The three snapped to look at Zoro while Zoro stared at the one on the floor. 

"Moving. " the kid was wearing a strawhat. With nothing else said he jumped up from the floor and picked the box up.

"... what? " 

"Yeah! I'm Monkey D. Luffy and I'm your new neighbor... well Sabo and Ace are too!" 

Zoro stared at them with a blank stare for a long time before nodding. "I'm Zoro. Keep it down. Thanks. " 

And Zoro retreated back into his house and Enma found her way onto Zoros lap as he sat back on the couch. 

"Shit.. "

Zoro leaned back into the couch. He had the apartment to himself (for now) till Usopp and that dreadful (affectionate) Sanji came back home.

And Merry, which was pleasant. 

Zoro sighed and listened to the back and forth between his new neighbors. This was so stupid, thin ass walls in this stupid apartment building. 

Nami should use what they pay in rent to fix up the place, but somehow she outsmarts them everytime... fucking landlords.

Zoro continues to listen to the conversation outside. 

"That green haired dude totally was woken up from a nap. "

"He's kinda hot. "

Zoro choked a little- Huh!?! 

"I honestly would disagree with you usually, but yeah, super fucking hot. "

Zoro blinks... what the hell? He felt his cheeks warm up and he shook his head- god what is wrong with him? Has he never been complimented before?

... he couldn't lie... the strawhat guy is kind of cute. 

~~~

Zoro groaned as Sanji flicked his forehead and woke him up from his 2nd nap that day. 

"What, dartbrow? "

"Good morning, moss pubes. "

Zoro groaned. "Stop mentioning that. " Zoro felt his cheeks warm up at the memory- okay, why did Sanji walk in right when he had propped up his leg to shave down there? 

Usopp cheered as he walked in with Merry in tow, holding all the groceries. "I did it, all the groceries in one trip! " 

"You're all so loud... "

"Sorry, Sleeping Hideous, can't take a little noise after sleeping your day off away? "

Zoro glanced up at Sanji who was already walking into the kitchen to start on dinner. "Shut up. I'm off all week- one fight and suddenly I'm a danger. "

Usopp hollered. "One fight! You're lucky you didn't get arrested. " 

"Then I can pretend I don't speak English, the classic Japanese card. "

"But it's bad when I pull the 'I'm black' card? "

Zoro rolled his eyes. "No, honestly you should use it more. On Sanji. Specifically. " Usopp laughed.

"What was that you stupid, green headed fuck?! " Sanji practically shouted and Zoro groaned. Always so fucking loud. "Feed Enma and Merry, since you are just gonna slack off around home all week. "

Zoro waved him off and gathered the pets plates to wash them. Usopp continued to put the groceries away while Sanji chopped some vegetables Zoro didn't know the name of.

Maybe it's jalapeños.

"You should make Mexican food. "

"Are you the one cooking, Mossy Fuck? "

Zoro huffed. "Just sayin'. Usopp side with me. "

Usopp looked over and shrugged. "You should, cause I'm black, yknow? "

Sanji muttered some curses under his breath and started up his rice cooker. "I should kick you both to the curve and start my life with Nami~~! "

Zoro laughed at the sight of Sanji's ass shaking at the mere thought of Nami- Usopp seemed to think it was hilarious too. 

Zoro poured a generous amount of cat food into Enma's bowl and dog food into Merry's. Enma meowed crazily as she followed him into the living room. Merry simply wagged her tail rapidly. Zoro smiled and placed the dishes down, and watching as the two immediately started to chow down.

He joined Usopp in the living room. Sanji did whatever Mexican food he was planning in the kitchen. 

"Wanna watch impractical jokers? "

Zoro grinned. "Yeah. "

~~~

"Aceeee... I'm hungry.... And the neighbor is making such yummy food..... Sabooooo.... "

Ace put a hand to Luffy's face and shoved him away, "Go bother Sabo, I'm setting up our new tv. Maybe learn how to cook-""Bleeehhh! Shut up. "

Ace felt his eye twitch but ignored it and let his brother go bother Sabo. He couldn’t strangle Luffy yet, no, no, he could never harm his little brother.

not counting all those times when they were kids-

Luffy stepped into Sabo's room and looked around. It looked pretty basic, full sized bed shoved into the corner, a computer-table set up tucked into the corner, a shelf being built in the middle, a dresser... Sabo struggling. 

"Sabooooo... I'm hungry. "

Sabo looked up from the nightmare that is this shelf and sighed. "Luffy, go bother Ace. I have to build three of these- ""He said to go bother you!"

Sabo groaned. "C'mon. "

Luffy followed after his brother and started calculating all that he could eat. There was a Columbian place not too far away... maybe he could get a- "Here. " Sabo knocked on the neighbors door and bolted back home. 

Luffy blinked. The green headed guy... Zoro opened the door and stared. "What's up?"

He was less cranky than earlier. Luffy could smell whatever was cooking up close now... it smelled so good. "Can I eat your food? I'm starving. "

It's true! He hasn't eaten since lunch (at 1!) and now it's 9... he's been so busy with making his room and moving stuff around that it slipped his mind. 

"Uhhh, sure. Come in, it's not ready though. "

Luffy walked in and the aroma was breathtaking. 

There was also a blonde cooking in the kitchen. "Hi, I'm Luffy. "

The blonde turned around. "Usopp, Sanji, this is our new neighbor. He said he's starving and wants to eat your food, Sanji.”

Sanji laughed. "I'm a charity now? Sure, sure. It's ready in like... 30 minutes. " 

Luffy smiled. "Yeah! Thank you! “

Then Luffy was 'attacked' by Merry's special attack- pouncing on you and licking your face. 

Zoro laughed. 

Luffy seemed to enjoy it- so he walked back into the living room to watch the show. 

"Zoro, Usopp, set the table! " Sanji yelled from the kitchen... of course, as soon as he sat down.

Fucking dart brow. He does it anyway.

...

The table is ready, and there's an unreasonable amount of food on the table. "I expect that you fucking eat 80% of it- since you ruined my dinner plans with your need for Mexican food. " Sanji takes a seat in his usual seat and glances over at Usopp to his right. "You especially."

Usopp gulps. "Thanks Sanji! Maybe you can bring some to Nami? "

Sanji stares at Usopp. Unblinking. "Or not- ""You're totally right~~~! "

"This looks so yummy! Thank you, Sanjay!”

"Sanji. "

"Sanjay! "

Zoro snickers to himself. "Just eat, damnit!" Sanji seemed like he was 9 seconds away from a nerve bursting.

Luffy starts to go to town on the yellow rice dish in the middle, serving himself 3 giant spoonfuls onto his plate. Sanji called it... traditional yellow rice with refried beans and carne to the side.

Zoro served himself next, he wouldn't lie, he was fucking starving. 

The four of them ate- or Luffy inhaled the food while the three of them ate normally. "Jesus, Luffy, calm down... " Usopp stared in horror.

Luffy looked up and smiled, "This tastes just like how my mom made it! "

Sanji blinked. "Are you Mexican? "

"No. "

"Racially motivated, Sanji. " Usopp put a hand to his mouth. Zoro laughed as well- even though he kind of also assumed that from Luffy mentioning his mother-

Sanji face planted. "Then what are you? "

"Brazilian! But I was raised by a Mexican. " Luffy swallowed the forkful. "My grandpa was sooo mad when me, Ace and Sabo spoke Spanish instead of Portuguese. " 

Sanji rolled his eyes. "Who's Ace and Sabo? "

"My brothers. They're probably hungry too, could I bring them some food? " Zoro stared at Luffy and smiled to himself- Usopp definitely saw it from how he wiggled his eyebrows at him... ugh.

"Yeah, sure, this is too much food anyway.”

"Be careful though, Ace might want to wife you up. "

Sanji started choking and Usopp laughed wildly while attempting to help Sanji. Zoro's laugh roared through the apartment and Luffy blinked. "What? He keeps talking about how he's gonna find a chef and wife them up. "

Sanji recovered and blinked. "Do you not hear yourself, Luffy? Your brother is insane.”

"He is narcoleptic. "

Sanji laughed. "Yeah? Okay. Let him try and wife me up then. See if he can do it. "

Usopp whined. "You promised we would get married if you didn't by the time we were 30..."

"It wasn't a direct promise! "

"I hoped you would wait it out! "

"No, dumbass! I assumed you would be trying to get someone else too- not camping for me! "

Usopp fell back in defeat... "Sanjay is the meanest-""Sanji, you pricks! Sanji. "

Luffy laughed as the two bickered back and forth. Zoro liked his laugh, it was nice to hear. Sort of like- heartwarming. 

Luffy looked up at him and Zoro quickly looked away- shit- he got caught. Zoro felt the heat rush to his cheeks- god. 

Thankfully this time, Usopp was too busy crying and whining over Sanji not being is true love. "You made this food for me! "

"I did not- I made it for Nami! "

"The landlord? "

Zoro chuckled, "Yeah, he's like madly in love with her and keeps thinking he has a chance. "

Sanji looked over. "I do, I'm telling you, I do! "

The door knocked and Zoro sighed to go get it... he opened the door to see Sabo and Ace, staring at him like puppies. "... Hello super hot neighbor- do you mind if we eat your food... we are starving-""Just come in."

The two bowed their heads, "Nice to meet you!" The two said... basically at the same time. Ok... where were Luffy's manners? 

Sanji and Usopp stopped fighting and looked at the pair. Usopp squeaked. "Please don't wife up my future husband-""Usopp!”

"I'll get you guys some plates... just sit down at the table. " the two comply and Zoro sighs. This is too lively for him- he needs a joint. 

He'll ask Law for one later.

Zoro returns with the plates to see Sanji pushing Usopp away while listening to Ace's day. Sabo seems to be drooling at the food. 

"Here. " 

Zoro sits back down next to Luffy and sits back. 

He pulls out his phone.

Me: yo can I get a joint 

Petty ass doctor: fine, 15 dollars.

Me: asshole, that's fucking insane for a damn joint 

Petty ass doctor: Hm. Let me ask Eustass.

Me: don't ask him. Sell me 5 for 50. Dick.

Petty ass doctor: deal. Send me the cash, dick.

Zoro groaned and sent over the money- "What is Zoro doing? " Luffy asks and Zoro jumps. 

"Huh- nothing. Don't worry. "

Usopp leans over the table, "he's probably buying weed from Law. "

Luffy gasps, "Law lives here? "

"Yeah. You can hear him and his boyfriend fucking throughout the whole damn building. " Zoro makes a face thinking about the absurd noises the two fucking make. But remembering when Nami walked up to their door and smacked the shit out of both of them made it much better-

"Gross. "

"Yeah, it is fucking gross. " Zoro agreed and watched as Ace and Sabo devoured the meal in front of them... but with more manners than Luffy. 

"Whatever Luffy said about wife-ing you up was right, wanna be my wife? "

Sanji seemed appalled. Usopp whined again "Stop! He was supposed to be my husband! "

"Usopp- stop saying that- we were 14! "

"So you do want to marry him! " Sanji turned a dark shade of pink and kicked Usopp down to the floor. 

"No! I don't wanna marry anyone, shut the fuck up! " 

Usopp held his chest and cried softly, "That hurt... "

Sabo and Ace laughed. "You deserved that.” Sabo said, laughing as Usopp flopped around the floor like a fish out of water.

Zoro needed this joint now. He had a fucking headache... but Luffy laughing was still nice. 

His phone dinged. 

Petty ass doctor: I'm outside, come get your stupid joints. 

Petty ass doctor: and tell the people over to shut up, I can hear it from upstairs

Zoro got up and walked to the door and everyone seemed to distracted by the... marriage fiasco to notice. 

"Hey. "

"Whatever, hello. Take your damn joints. " Zoro stared at the polar bear tin and held back a laugh. 

"Thanks, asshole. "

Law gave him a middle finger as he walked away. Zoro rolled his eyes and went back inside to see Luffy staring up at him. "What's that? "

"Drugs. "

"Cool. Usopp got kicked in the nuts," Zoro felt that in his balls- fucking ow, "And Ace insists on marrying Sanji. We're leaving now, but I'll come visit again! "

Zoro smiled. "Yeah, see ya'. " Zoro waved and walked into the safety of his room... Usopp was definitely going to wash dishes after that scene. 

...

He was gonna wait till later to smoke.

Chapter Text

It took two hours- (yes he worked out all 2) but Sanji and Usopp finally went to bed. It was 1 am, and Zoro felt it was the perfect time to smoke.

He grabbed his lighter and made his way to the balcony... which was like right outside his door... but-

Even though Nami definitely somehow overcharges (600 split between 3 is probably a steal, honestly-) and this place is lowkey a shithole, the view of the East is really nice. Living near a river has its perks, the outside always smells like sea water and the water is always satisfying to look at. Zoro always enjoyed coming out at night to watch and...

Smoke.

He pulls one from the polar bear tin (Law is such a kid-) and lights it...

...

Zoro leans onto the rail and watches the busy road on the other side of the road on the far side of the river. It's quiet and nice- but if he really listens he can hear Franky and Robin watching Tv upstairs, and Brook playing the violin beneath him. 

He doesn't think he could ever move from here, really, it's like a tight community. It's the one thing he'll give this place- the people.

He listens to the world around him. He can hear a car start up, probably Jimbei going off to his night job. 

Zoro takes another hit from the joint and closes his eyes.

"Hi Zoro. "

"Hey. "

Zoro blinks- huh? Zoro turns to his right and is met with a vision of Luffy attempting to make his way over. "Oi- relax! You're gonna fall- ""No I won't. " Luffy continues to climb over the railing and Zoro watched in horror- 

In flip flops?!

Zoro puts the joint down in the ash tray on the table and attempts to help Luffy. "Luffy, you are gonna slip-""Shhh! I know what I'm doing. "

Zoro feels the life draining from him. 

He curses under his breath. "Okay, fine, fine, at least let me help you. "

"Fine. "

Zoro sticks his hands out and Luffy stretches out to grab them... and he practically swings over. "Any reason you decided to almost kill yourself?"

Luffy shrugged and hopped over the bar.

"To sit with you. "

Zoro blinked. "You're an idiot. "

Zoro sits down on the lounging chair and grabs his joint... god. "Shishishi! Mama used to say that... and everyone ever. "

"Used to? " Zoro totally doesn't think that Luffy sitting on the floor inbetween his legs is endearing. Totally. Sarcastic. 

"Yeah. She died recently. "

"Oh. "

"Yeah, that's actually why we moved. " Luffy trailed off, "Sorry, didn't mean to dump that on you."

Zoro blinked. "Huh? It's fine- I wanna hear more, if you don't mind. " Luffy looked up at him and Zoro smiled softly.

"Okay, I'll tell you. Can I try that first though? "

Zoro nodded and put the joint to Luffy's lips- 

Luffy inhaled and- he started coughing- really bad- 

"Have you never smoked before?! "

"No!  It tastes funny..." Luffy giggled and Zoro rolled his eyes. "But- my mama, Dadan, she died. And we all still lived with her... even though it's kinda loser-ish for Ace and Sabo cause they're 22. " 

Luffy messed around with the string of his Strawhat. "So we had to move, because Dadan didn't own her house and the guy wanted us out... apparently we trashed the place growing up but, I don't see it. " Luffy giggled. 

Maybe thinking of childhood memories. "So we moved here, cause the rent was cheap, and Sabo and Ace got a good jobs here. They said I should find one too, since I'm done with school. "

Zoro stared off into the sky. "It's good you have your brothers with you though. How old are you anyway? "

"19. " 

"Oh. Okay, cool. Want another hit? I'm gonna put it out. "

Luffy stuck his hand out and Zoro placed it in his palm. Luffy inhaled the smoke and surprisingly coughed less this time. Luffy handed it back. 

Zoro put it out. The two sat in silence for awhile before Luffy begins to giggle uncontrollably- "What's so funny? "

"The- the sky. " Luffy giggles out. Zoro laughs to himself as the guy continued to let out little giggles. "The cloud... looks like a penis. "

Zoro lets out a laugh and tries to calm down but... it really did. "You're... you're so right! " he laughs out. 

God- why can’t he stop laughing? 

The two sit giggling at the clouds and staring at the sky. Then Luffy looks at him. "Zoro. "

"Huh? "

"Zooorooo... i like your name. It rolls off my tongue. Zoro. "

Zoro blinked. "Luffy. You have a fitting name. You look like a Luffy. "

Luffy giggles and leans back into the chair. "Is your hair really green? It’s like moss." Zoro groans.

God.. yes... unfortunately.

"Yeah. It is- even my pubes. "

Luffy laughs uncontrollably. "That's so cool!”

Zoro smiles to himself and cracks his knuckles. He likes sitting here with Luffy, it was nice. Calming, not the usual headache he got from living with Sanji and Usopp... but that's probably just because he's known the two assholes since he was a kid. 

Then the sound of a sliding door opening fills his ears. To his left- "Will you two shut the hell up!?! Some people are trying to sleep! "

Buggy. The clown. Next door. Zoro giggles at the clown- and Luffy starts to hysterically laugh. "Don't fucking laugh at me- you assholes, I'm not even wearing my clown stuff! "

Zoro laughs even harder- he doesn’t even know why, it's really not that funny- he hasn't been high like this in forever. "Just- ugh- quiet down you dicks! " Buggy storms back inside- his hair flopping behind him. 

Zoro giggles. 

Luffy giggles along with him. "That guy looked funny. "

"He does. And he's a clown. "

Luffy giggles, yawning as he stretches out his back. "I'm sleepy. And hungry. "

"I'd let you raid my kitchen but Sanji would be mad. "

"It's okay. Do you cook? "

... Maybe spaghetti... and those macaroni and cheese boxes. "Kinda. "

"Better than me..." Luffy trails off and yawns again. Zoro blinks. He should probably get Luffy to go back home. "...Maybe you should make me some Mac and cheese. "

"Some other day, sure. "

"Okay... " Luffy rubs at his eyes.

"You should go back home and sleep. "

Luffy grins. "Yeah, you're probably right. Help me. "

Zoro feels his heart drop as Luffy leaps to the other side- but by some means, probably a fucking miracle- Luffy made it and hops over the railing. "G'night Zoro. That was fun. "

"Night. "

Zoro watches as Luffy enters his house again... and Zoro did the same. Even though he slept the day away... he could go for some sleep.

~~~

Zoro woke up the sound of about 9 pans falling the floor and Usopp shrieking. Zoro mutters a curse under his breath and walks out of his room to investigate- 

"... What the fuck happened? "

"Fucking Usopp opened my drawer with my pots."

"I didn't know you kept all your damn pots and pans in there!? "

Sanji stares daggers at Usopp- probably imagining kicking him out of the house (literally). Zoro blinks. "Usopp- we've lived together for 2 years now. "

Zoro can't believe he's siding with Sanji. "I don't know- it slipped my mind, I'm sorry Sanji. "

Sanji mutters an 'it's fine' under his breath as the two pick up the pots and pans from the floor. Zoro made his way back to his room- Enma following happily behind him. 

He tucks himself back into bed and smiled contently as Enma tucks herself in between his legs.

He’s asleep in seconds.

Chapter Text

"¡Luffy, levante! " Ace banged on the door and sighed- one official week in the new apartment. It was actually better than he originally thought it would be, honestly. His new job was awesome, the people were great! He honestly liked this station better than the last. 

He wondered if Dadan would be proud, to see all three of her boys finally living without her. 

He thinks that she would tear up and tell them to screw off, but... she would be secretly proud.

"Luffy, ya, no tengo tiempo para esto! " Ace banged again- and then opened the door. Ace laughed as he saw Luffy asleep with his phone on his chest. Fucking idiot. "Seriously... Sabo bring me my phone! "

"Get it yourself! "

"I need to take a picture of Luffy-" Sabo practically ran into the room to hand Ace his phone. Sabo snickered at the sight. 

"Bet he fell asleep talking to that Zoro guy." Sabo pulled out his own phone to take a picture. Ace rolled his eyes. 

"I don't wanna bet and lose my money, it's so obvious he did exactly that. " Ace walked out the room to let his brother sleep. 

Sabo laughed. "Shit- I gotta get to fucking work."

"Text Luffy for me- I got a 36 hour shift. "

"Already? Didn't you start like a few days ago? "

Ace shrugs. "I mean, I already was a firemen. I got transferred here. " Sabo blinked. 

"Oh. " 

"Yeah, oh, I told you this. " Ace fixed his belt and shirt... and looked around for his shoes. "Just like Luffy, never listening. "

"Ya cállate. Me olvide. " 

“Peor hermano en todo el mundo. Malo. “

Sabo punched him in the arm and scoffed. "Shut up, let's go, you're gonna be late... and me too. Shit. "

Ace sighed. "Did I take my medicine? "

Sabo groaned. "No, go take it! We have to go, or one of us will be late. "

Ace laughed. 

...

Sabo pulled up to the fire station, checking the time every minute. "Aporte Ace, carajo! Yaaa, ciao, ciao, te quiero! "

"Pick me up later, Sabo! " Ace stared as Sabo instantly drove off... well... here it goes.

~~~

Luffy woke up to an empty house. Eh- it usually was like this anyway. His phone was dead... because he stayed up all night talking to Zoro. Texting. 

He was just so fun to talk too. It was unlike anything- ever. Luffy smiled at the memories of last night and plugged in his phone. "Ace is probably gonna be at work till tomorrow... and Sabo won't get back till late. " he muttered to himself. 

He kind of just... laid there for awhile, staring at the ceiling and thinking. Nothing in particular... maybe what he was gonna have for breakfast... or what he should do all day? Maybe hang out with Zoro. 

And then he heard commotion next door- Sanji and Usopp were awake. He could tell from the arguing in the bathroom... which was right next to his room. Wow... Zoro was right. 

This place had really thin walls.

"Usopp- pee in the damn tub. "

"That's so fucking embarrassing. "

Sanji laughed. "Oh well. Hold it in then. "

Luffy held back a laugh. 

The two left the bathroom 2 minutes later- just as Luffy's phone dinged that it was back on.

Luffy grabbed it. 

Sabooo: Luff ace won't be back till tomorrow 

Sabooo: and I'm gonna be home really late. Maybe like 4 am- sorry, maybe order food today

Sabooo: love you 🥹

Sabooo: wish me goodlyck pls ur beloved big brother needs it

Me: okkk 😁

Me: good luck!!! 

Me: I love you too ! 🥹

Sabooo: ty luff I needed that

Sabo: bye!

Luffy frowned. But then he saw like... 10 messages from Zoro so... a smile instantly appeared back onto his face.

Mossy: Okay i just watched the video and

Mossy: it fucking sucked why did you want me watch that

Mossy: Luffy?? 

Mossy: luuuuffyyyyyyyyy

Mossy: did u fall asleep 

Mossy: wow and here I thought we were pulling an all-nighter together

Mossy: LUFFFYYYYYY

Mossy: okay, fine, goodnight. 

Mossy: dumbass

Luffy smiled to himself looking at the messages. He didn't mean to fall asleep- it just happened!

Me: SORRY!! I fell asleep 🫡

Me: good morning tho

Me: and the video is good you just have to understand it.

Mossy: good morning

Mossy: Sanji and Usopp are being so loud 

Mossy: the video is damn stupid a cow skateboarding across the sea, doesn't need understanding 

Me: how are you awake

Mossy: cuz Sanji and Usopp are so fucking loud in the morning. And Franky upstairs dropped like a damn rock on the floor. 

Me: Wanna come to my house

Mossy: yeah and risk getting interrogated? Sorry nah

Mossy: actually... omw open the door 

Me: okkk

Luffy hoped up from his bed and shoved on his crocs.. usually he'd go with his sandals but the strap fucking broke. One backwards cartwheel was apparently too much... maybe he and Zoro could go to buy another pair. 

He grinned and made his way to the door. 

Just as he opened the door Zoro tumbled in and almost fell- but Luffy caught him. "Are you drunk or something? No one falls like that. "

"No. I'm actually like banned- cause y'know... I was like addicted or whatever. " 

Luffy blinked. "Okay. Just or whatever? "

"Yeah. Are your brothers home? "

"No, they went to work. Won't be back till tomorrow. "

Zoro nodded and walked into the house to look around. "You have a nice place considering you just moved in. It's like... nicer than mine. " Zoro yawned and scratched his neck. "Should I just sleep on the couch? "

"You can sleep in my room. "

...

And now Zoro was snoring in Luffy's bed while Luffy lies right next to him- just staring at the ceiling. 

Huh. 

Maybe he should just go back to sleep too...

~~~

"Luffy- wake up. "

Luffy blinked and stared at Zoro- huh? 

"Yeah...? "

"Wanna go to Costco? "

Luffy grinned. "Yeah! Let's go!”

Zoro smiled. "Good- cause I just got fucking fired from the damn place and I want revenge. " Zoro stood up from the bed and adjusted his pants- Luffy did not stare at his ass-

"You got a shirt I could borrow- actually I live next door-""Yeah, I have one. "

Luffy tossed a tank top he had at Zoro (yes, it used to be Sabo's) laughing as it attached itself to Zoro's head. 

Zoro rolled his eyes, "Thanks. "

Luffy definitely didn't watch as Zoro took his shirt off and saw his strong body, with perfect abs and tanned skin and just a few scars- "Oi- get ready. "

Luffy stopped staring and got ready-

...

Zoro totally noticed the staring. He just assumed Luffy was spaced out or something. 

Zoro totally didn't stare when Luffy took his own shirt off. 

Totally. (Ok yeah, he did, so what?)

~~~

Luffy plugged his phone into aux before he even started up the car- but- yeah. That's fine. Luffy could play some music while he inevitably got them lost. Ok. No- the roads just switched places when he wasn't looking. He's honestly kinda shocked it took a whole year for Costco to fire him.

A whole year of giving customers attitude, showing up 5 minutes late, eating those stupid churros and probably running a good part of his diet but... he was good at lifting boxes. At the same time. He's starting to think that maybe the manager had a weird crush on him...

Not that he'd ever admit that it was coming to anyone. 

"I'm on aux, as always. "

"Sure, sure. Don't play anything too bad." Zoro's eye twitched at the memory of Usopp playing the fucking minion theme for 2 goddamn hours while the trio drove to Orlando...

Let's just say it didn't end too well for Usopp.

"And please, no minion theme. Please Luffy, don't. "

Luffy laughed. "I won't! I won't! Promise! "

Zoro sighed in relief and drove out the parking lot. "So... SpongeBob pijama pants. "

"Yeah! And now you have the matching Patrick ones. "

Zoro looked down at legs and rolled his eyes at the fucking Patrick star pijama pants... it was honestly scary how Luffy just had clothes that fit him. 

"Yeah, I'm ecstatic- we're like... best friends now."

Luffy smiles. Zoro's heart flips- basically tumbled down into his stomach at it. Oh my god-

It was like the sun.

Zoro turns away and looks back at the road. 

He needs to watch out anyway... getting lost with Luffy would be so embarrassing. "Okayyy, do you understand Spanish? "

"No? I speak Japanese though. "

Luffy gasped. "Oh my god- really!?! "

"Yeah. Luffy wa bakadesu. " 

"I don't know what that means, but that's cool!"

Zoro chuckled... shit... where is he? 

~~~

"Wow Zoro, you got us lost like 9 times. "

Zoro waved Luffy off and shut off the car. "No, the road signs were just moved. C'mon. "

Luffy was saying something about wanting pizza and Zoro was not paying attention. Zoro looked around. He wondered what they looked like.

Two idiots in SpongeBob and Patrick matching pijamas in the burning-humid Florida summer.

It was packed today. Perfect. 

"I'm thinking that we... order 17 individual slices of pizza. And move some stuff around… or just don’t do anything at all.”

"Okay! We should also keep asking for samples. "

Zoro grinned. "You are so fucking right. Okay- I took Sanji's Costco card this morning... so we can get in. "

Luffy's red crocs squeaked. "Do you think they sell crocs here? "

"Uhhh... no? We can stop by the croc store later though. If you want. "

Luffy nodded. "Yeah! I'll get you a pair, so that we can match. "

Zoro blinked. "Okay. Sure. "

Zoro pulled up Twirly-Brow's card and- oh- that's Killer.

Awkward... 

"Zoro, y'know you got fired right-""Yeah. Fuck off, I'm here with my new best friend.”

Killer blinked. "Sure, whatever. "

Luffy laughed to his side. "Is he your friend? "

"Uhhh... I guess? We were forced to carry all the heavy stuff. "

Zoro looked at the tv's to his right and to the deals on his right. Okay, he's here, now what? Zoro felt his phone vibrate in his pocket...

He tried to ignore it but it just kept on dinging, oh my god.

Nose: did you take the damn car??

Nose: Zoro

Nose: Zoro

Nose: ZORO

Me: yeah, so?

Nose: wtf. To do what.

Me: Costco

Nose: aren't you fucking fired.

Me: yeah, so what? Anyway you take the car every other day lemme have it for once

Nose: CAUSE I HAVE A JOB AND GO TO COLLEGE???

Me: it's your day off

Nose: Ok, fine, whatever.

Nose: be careful with her

Me: im with Luffy so bye.

Nose: HUHHH

"Sorry, Usopp gets intense. "

"It's okay. Wanna look at the toy section? "

Zoro grinned. "Where have you been all my life? "

...

The two stared at the the toy-ish section with smiles. "Look at all the Pokémon cards, Zoro! "

"I'm more interested in the fake swords- "Luffy pulled Zoro's head slightly down... "Lets buy this... with Sanjay's card." Luffy whispered... Zoro did not feel his cheeks heat up and his heart just slightly spiked-

"Definitely."

Luffy grabbed a box of cards and Zoro stared at a sword. Okay. Yeah. 

He grabbed one. "Now where too? "

"The noodle section. "

The two walked- and Luffy seemed to purposefully bumping into other peoples carts. Zoro found it so amusing- 

"Look... hot dog samples. Let's have some dogs. "

Luffy grabbed onto Zoro's hand and dragged him towards the hot-dog lady. Zoro swears the world around seemed to fade away. Like those stupid romance animes Prince Moron always makes him watch. When the characters touch and the world turns to pink- with flowers and stars.

Luffy grabbed a hot dog and shoved it into his mouth, effectively killing the moment.

"Tastes like shit. "

Luffy seemed offended at this... but it was literally the worst. Maybe he's just too used to Double Curly's food to like the actually awful taste of these hotdogs...

"It's meat though! "

"Is hotdog really even a meat? "

Luffy blinked. "Uh... ask me again later. "

The two wandered around begging and demanding samples until Luffy dramatically fell to the floor- box of Pokémon cards effectively slipping with him. "Oh no, Luffy, what's wrong."

Zoro's voice was so monotone it probably seemed like one of those stupid knockoff movies with the shitty actors and even shittier plot-

"I'm starving... I need... pizza. "

Zoro rolled his eyes and tossed Luffy over his shoulder. 

...

Luffy stared at his newly bought Pokémon card box set and grinned. "I'm gonna thank Sanjay for this later! "

"Don't. I'll just pay him later. "

Luffy gasped. "But you got fired. "

Zoro shushed him. "Shut up, don't remind me." God, Luffy is right. He should get a job, and soon. They still owe him his last paycheck, probably has about 1000 in his account right now. 

200 for rent, 15 for utilities-

Okay. No, he'll worry about the bills when he's home, and alone. Maybe he'll just sell porn again-

"Zorooooo, you spaced out. What kind of pizza do you like? This time, I'll pay. "

"Pepperoni. "

"Alright... let's order 2 boxes. 

Zoro would've asked if they can even eat that much... but he knew the answer. 

Luffy would definitely be able to eat that much. "Okayyyy, boom! Do you want anything else- churros... "

Zoro grinned. "I want a churro. "

"It's chew-ro. "

"Ch-row. "

"Chew-ro, pendejo. "

Zoro scoffed. "Fucking, okay, yeah, chew-ro."Luffy seemed satisfied at that and continued the order on the screen. Zoro watched, god, he watched like hawk... he's honestly kind of creeped out with himself. Something about Luffy's hands just looked so nice at that moment. 

"Okayyy, boom! Ordered. " Luffy shoved his wallet- a fucking Minecraft creeper wallet- back into his pocket and walked towards the counter. Yes Zoro followed like a lost puppy. 

Luffy rambled about Pokémon cards while they waited for their food, something about some cards going for like 500 dollars which, okay, what the fuck?

"I actually like... own one. Isn't that cool- oh my god, hope that we pull a good card. It can be like, our baby. I get it weekdays though... "

Zoro could probably fall asleep right here to the sound of Luffy rambling. Not cause it was boring or anything, but because his voice was so soothing to him. Maybe he's just weird...

Zoro wrapped his arms around Luffy's neck and tucked himself into the crevice. "Keep talkin'... "

Luffy tried to ignore his heart basically leaping out of his chest but- oh my god- he can feel Zoro's breath on his neck. Okay, relax Luffy. Just keep talking. 

"I'm really hungry, like starving. We woke up at 10 and now it's 1! We didn't even eat. "

Luffy didn't know what else to say- usually he'd just ramble about whatever was infesting his brain until he just couldn't anymore but... 

Luffy opened his mouth to say something, and just as the words built up in his brain- "Order 238! "

Zoro seemed to not want to dis-attach himself... so Luffy had to take this into extreme measures...

Luffy grabbed the back off Zoro's knees and pulled up- "Woah! What the- ""Shishishi! I hit the gym... like every other day! "

Luffy walked over to the lady who seemed un-phased by whatever just happened... her name tag says 'Alvida'.

Luffy took his the pizzas and Zoro released himself. "I didn't think you'd lift me up, to be honest. 

Luffy grinned. "Mama used to do that, to all of us when we wouldn't let go... are we gonna eat here or in the car? "

"Usopp will probably kill me if I dirty his car, so let's just eat here. "

Luffy seemed to have spotted a table and basically bolted towards it. Zoro looked down at the sword in his hand and sighed... he really just bought a stupid fucking sword.

...

The two sat across from one another, Luffy already shoving a slice into his mouth. "I used to do soccer in high school. "

"Yeah? That's cool. I used to go to this like dojo. Sword fighting. "

"That's so much cooler than soccer... "

Zoro laughed at the frown on Luffy's face. It was like a bad attempt at a puppy face- "What!?! "

"Nothing, nothing. Keep doing that face, please."

Zoro snapped the picture and stared down at it, grinning. He felt his heart speed up, it's just a cute picture, calm down!

"Okay, now I get to take a picture of you with a puppy face. Do it, now! "

Zoro blinked. "No way."

"Yes way, do it! " The sentence disappeared a bit at the end as Luffy bit into the pizza again. "Or no churro! "

Zoro sighed, okay, fine.

Luffy giggled as he took the picture. "You look so cute. "

Zoro swear he felt his whole body flame up at that-"Okay, give me the churro. "

"You said it wrong again. "

"Okay, chew-ro. Perdona... me? " His two years of Spanish in highschool didn't fail him as much as he thought, it seems. 

"Perdóname, but okay. I forgive you. "

Zoro took the churro and bit into it, and got his own slice of extremely cheap yet so good pizza.

"Okay Zoro, would you rather never use the toilet again... or never use a sink again? "

Zoro blinked. "Okay... so have dirty hands for the rest of my life or just pee in the tub for the rest of my life? "

Luffy nodded.

"That's so easy, never use a toilet-... wait... what if I have to shit? Should I use Enma's liter box? "

"Who's Enma? "

"My cat... Luffy, I showed her to you. "

"Oh... ohhh! The one with the purple-ish eyes?"

Zoro nodded. "Anyway... that's so gross. But not washing my hands is also just... ugh. No dishes though, I guess? " 

Luffy giggled. "Well? Which one will it be? "

Zoro groaned. "No sink... I can just use the tub. Or water. "

"I'd pick the same! Ace told me that I was an idiot for asking such a stupid question, but he just doesn't get it. "

"What about Sabo? "

"He said something about needing sinks, so toilets then had to go to work... he's working a lot lately. "

Zoro stared at the pizza box that they finished.. there was 12 slices. How many did he fucking eat?

"How many did you eat? "

... "Like 6. "

Okay, he just ate 6 slices of pizza. Only Luffy could make him not realize that he shoved 6 slices of pizza down his fucking throat. "I'm full."

"Me too... wanna go home? "

Zoro nodded. He didn't even know what home meant, since they like... lived in two different apartments but oh well-

...

...

Okay, yeah, he got lost like 6 times. Shut up.

Chapter Text

"Zoro, are you seriously still lounging around the house not doing anything? " Sanji asked. Sanji was practically staring at him like a hawk while some potato shit cooked in the oven. 

"Yes. I applied to some jobs today, hop off my dick. Either way, I got fired like two days ago. " Zoro stared down at his feet... and smiled at the green crocs. Luffy ended up getting him the stupid crocs to match his own- and Zoro found it to be the most endearing thing probably ever.

It even had this like sword... button charm thing.

"Home is my domain, I can't have some idiot lettuce fucking around here."

"Yeah, cause you are fucking unemployed.”

"I'm not fucking unemployed. " Sanji paused and took a drag from his vape, which was like the stupidest thing Zoro has ever seen, "I run a food blog. I make like... a fortune. "

Zoro bursted into laughter. "Yeah, I used to make a fortune off of my porn-""God, don't mention that."

Zoro scoffed. "You and Usopp shouldn't have been snooping around my room in the first place."

Sanji turned red. "We didn't know you were making fucking porn! "

"God, don't yell it-""Then don't remind me of you riding that-""Shut up! " Both of them yelled at the same time. 

"Let's just... stop talking about it. "

Zoro nodded. "Yeah, okay, I'm okay with that. "

It was awkwardly quiet. Actually like... so fucking awkward. Like- the air felt thick, warm, and sticky. Zoro pulled out his phone as the tv continued playing Pokémon. Okay, so what he's watching it at 21 years old... Luffy really likes it.

Me: hey Luffy 

Idiot: hi Zoro

Idiot: Ace made me take out the trash

Me: good cause Sanji likes yelling out my business  

Me: Wanna get high

Idiot: yes! I'll be over in like... 3 mins.

Zoro turned off his phone and looked up at the tv. He didn't know how to feel about it, honestly. Pokémon anyway, the only animes/manga he's even seen is Bleach and Beserk... but there definitely wasn't enough swords. "Luffy is coming over. "

Sanji scoffed. "Are you two like dating? Always hanging out with eachother. "

"No, we are like best friends. "

Sanji seemed offended, "I thought we were best friends. "

Zoro laughed. Like really hard, his fucking stomach hurt by the time he stopped. "As if! You... you're like that annoying brother I can't get rid of. "

Sanji rolled his eyes. "I hate to admit that you're right. "

"Even Usopp? "

"God no, I agreed to marry him if I was single at 30, how could I see him as a brother. Fucking moron."

Zoro chuckled (and attempted to ignore Sanji's insult). "Are you two actually gonna go on with that, Swirly? "

Sanji shrugged. "Depends if I'm single. "

Zoro looked back at tv. He was satisfied with that answer. Then the door swung open and Sanji seemed to jump like 10ft in the air... how?!?

"Zoro! I'm here! "

"Luffy! "

"What the fuck?! You two are acting as if you didn't spend all day together literally yesterday!" Sanji's mouth was practically hitting the floor after he finished his sentence. 

"And we stayed up till like... 4 am talking! "

..."Did he tell you about his ex from highschool?"

Zoro felt his eye twitch. Luffy shut the door behind him and looked up... "No, he didn't. He told me about a Kuina though!"

"Sanjay, please. " God Zoro did not want to think about high school-

"Sanji, you ass, Sanji! " Sanji seemed annoyed now... "Anyway, his fucking ex Smoker-""Stop, please Dart board, don't. "

Luffy giggled. "Smoker, who always smelled like cigars. They dated for 2 months until-""Until I met his sister, god! She looks just like Kuina, it was too weird. And he was also kind of fucking weird... always like huffing and gruffing."

Sanji laughed. "Probably cause he was smoking like 80 cigars a day."

"You used to do that-""Shut up, I'm changed. I vape now... ""Which is even fucking stupider-"

Luffy laughed... Zoro smiled at Luffy. Sanji raised a brow, swirl and all. No need to stare at a guy just admiring his best friend, with fondness in his eyes. 

"Sanjay-""Sanji, you dimwad."

"Okay, Sanji, would you rather never use a sink again or never use a toilet again? "

Sanji blinked. "Toilet. I need sinks- I'm literally a chef. "

"Don't lie, you are a food blogger-""And in culinary school! I am a goddamn chef. "

"Forgot you and Usopp are nerds who went back to school. "

Sanji placed his knife down, in this menacing way that made Zoro want to run, but back down from Dartbrows? Never. 

Sanji slowly washed his hands. "Okay, so you picked toilet. Just like Sabo! Now I have to ask Uupupo. "

"Usopp."

Luffy waved him off. Zoro didn't even see Sanji coming- 

Luffy watched as the two fought. Sanji was kicking and Zoro was blocking kicks. Okay, yeah, this is totally normal. 

The door opened again, and Uupupo stepped in. "Hello...? You two, stop fighting! "

The two stopped and glanced back, "Shut up, he started it! "

Luffy giggled as the two continued to bicker. Usopp collapsed on the couch next to him and watched. "Usopupo-""Usopp.""Yes, ok, Usopp, would you rather never use a sink again or never use a toilet? "

"I actually invented the toilet, so I'd have to go with my finest invention. " Luffy's eyes brightened up-

"You fixed the toilet, fixed! Not invented-""Sanji, shut up! Let me have this. "

Luffy gave Usopp a face of disgust. "Liar. "

Usopp fell in defeat. "You ruined this for me!"

"The only person who would ever believe you is Chopper upstairs! "

A dark cloud seemed to surround Usopp. "Zoro too... all my friends betrayed me... "

Luffy looked to Zoro. "Are you done arguing? Let's get high. "

"Okay, going to my room dicks. "

Zoro walked to his room and Luffy followed behind. 

"So they are like totally dating, right? "

Sanji scoffed. "I said the same, but Zoro insists that they are just friends. " Usopp laughs. 

...

...

...

"So what'd you make to eat...? "

Zoro ignored the screaming from the living room and looked at Luffy, who was scanning every corner of his room. 

"You a big bleach fan? "

... Ok, he thinks swords are just really cool. That isn't really an excuse to have all 74 volumes of it- and a few Japanese volumes… and like 6 prize figures... and a dvd set-

And a 289 dollar Ichigo figure-

"Yeah. You can say that. "

"Is it good? I haven't seen it. "

"Yes! I mean. Yes. It is. " Okay Zoro, behave just a little bit normally about Bleach for the love of god.

"Cool, maybe I should watch it. " 

"We can watch some today... if you want. "

He's always up for a rewatch, he's already on his 12th- 

"Sure. " Luffy collapsed on his bed and looked up at the ceiling... with his gay flag. Hung up. On display. 

Okay. 

Yeah. Usopp thought it was so funny to get them all their own pride flags. Pansexual, bisexual, and gay. Awesome.

The worst case is that Luffy thinks he's gross and leaves- god that's just not like Luffy at all- he seems like an ally, Law is like married to a dude and he's Luffy's cousin-

"I'm gay too. Cool. "

That was probably the last reaction he expected. "Yeah. " Zoro lit the joint and inhaled...

Zoro sat down on the bed and handed it over to Luffy. Luffy took it and inhaled- 

...

The two laid next to eachother, staring at the ceiling while Bleach played on Zoro's laptop. Forgotten, to be honest, but Zoro likes hearing it there. 

"I just think that we should have never left the pirate era. "

"Yeah. I get that... I could be like a swordsman."

"You'd totally be my first mate... and maybe Usopp and Sanji can go too. "

"Nami can be like... our funds girl. "

"True... "

"What about your brothers? "

Luffy shrugged. "They'd totally be on their own ships," Luffy touched his chest, "But that's okay, we'd see each other on the high seas!"

Zoro nodded. That made sense. Maybe if things worked out in a pirate world, he and Kuina would meet on the high seas.

Luffy started to giggle. "We'd be like... so free. "

"Free enough for alcohol? "

"Hmmm... no. "

Zoro laughed. "Yeah, I expected this. " ... it's for the best though... he seriously had a problem-

Luffy turned onto his side and stared at Zoro. It looked like he was taking in all of his features or something-"Zoro is very pretty. "

Zoro coughed. And felt his heart do that weird jitter- oh my god. 

"Thanks. "

Luffy giggled. "What's this scar from? "

Luffy pointed at the scar on Zoro's arm, it's faded and healed over now. Which is so weird to think about, cause he can still feel everything from the day it happened. He'd rather not kill the vibe… cause, y’know. "Ask me another question."

"Oh, sorry... when did you get into bleach? Oooh, or that big white sword on the shelf? What’s that? "

Zoro looked at his laptop, still playing the show. "When I was a freshman. Some dude was talking about it so I started watching it. "

He wouldn't lie, it probably like saved his life or whatever. No big deal.

“And the sword- Wado Ichimonji. It was Kuina’s, when she died her dad gave it to me. “

Luffy took the joint from the frog ashtray and inhaled, letting the smoke settle in his throat before breathing out. Zoro thought it was the most attractive thing ever. "That's cool, do you sword fight? 

"Fuck yeah, hand me the joint. " Zoro took it and smoked it. Shit he's getting hungry. "Not much anymore though... "

“Okay, we should like soon. Like today. “

Zoro rolled his eyes, “Okay. You can use the shit plastic one from Costco while I swing around my real Wado. “

Luffy giggled. "Do you watch a lot of anime- cause your room is like covered in bleach stuff-“”Fuck no. I’m not like a weeb.”

“I just- really, really, like bleach. “

Luffy was quiet as he took in that information... oh shit. Did he just make Luffy think he was fucking weird-"That's really cool. This next rewatch should be the both of us together."

Zoro's heart and brain apparently found that so, so, so endearing because it was beating so fast... and yet no reaction showed. Maybe it was cause he's high, yeah, definitely cause he’s high.

..."Are you hungry? "

... 

Yeah, he got the munchies awhile ago. "Yeah. I want like... pasta. "

"Pasta- let's ask Sanji. "

"Holy shit, you got it right! "

"I did! " Luffy was already out of the room. He had his motives, and one was food. "Sanji, I'm hungry. Can you make pasta? "

Sanji stared. "Am I your personal chef or something? "

"No, but you're my friend now! "

Sanji did not find that super sweet. Ok, you caught him, he did. "Fine! Fine, only if you go invite Nami~~! "

... "Okay, sure! She lives in 101 right?! "

"Yes~~~! "

"Zoro, let's go! Sanji agreed! "

Zoro tumbled into the living room with Merry excitedly waddling behind. "Thanks, dartbrow-""We have to go invite Nami though. "

Zoro blinked. Fuck. "Okay... "

Nami was definitely a hot cannon. The two left the house- yes both wearing they're matching crocs- "So one of us is getting attacked. "

"Nooo, I bet Nami is cool. "

Zoro gasped. "You haven't meet her? "

"No? Not yet anyway. "

Zoro tried to wrap that around his head as they went down the stairs, to the first floor. "Wanna invite like everyone? "

"Who's everyone...? " Luffy stares at a bird for a second too long and Zoro thinks it's the funniest thing- god why is he laughing? 

"Like-" Zoro starts through his laughter, "Robin and Franky, plus Chopper... Jimbei... Brook... Law and Eustass- actually, maybe not... Maybe that guy that just moved into 110? "

"Okay, yeah! Tell Sanji to make a feast! It's like a banquet... Can Ace and Sabo come? They're both off today. "

"Yeah, the more the merrier." Zoro pulled out his phone and giggled at his wallpaper. It's not even funny-

Me: yo make enough food for like 20 people.

Me: please

Swirly: Luffy does not eat that much

Me: maybe Nami does

Me: and Ace 

Zoro grinned. He didn't know what was up with Sanji's odd obsession with Ace (okay, more like packing him a paid lunch every other day and saying he was kinda hot.) 

Swirly: ugh fine, sure

"He agreed-" Luffy pounded on Nami's door and a scream was heard. 

It took a few seconds- incredibly long seconds- before Nami appeared, in this giant T-shirt with oranges and FLORIDA written across it, a pair of loose shorts and glasses. Her hair was tied back into a ponytail. 

"Zoro... and Luffy, right? What do you want? Don't tell me the ac is broken again-""No, do you want to eat dinner? With us? Like a dinner party!"

"Like... Sanji, and Usopp. "

"Yeah. Plus... Robi, Franklin, Chopper-“"Okay, I get it. " Nami looked back into her house and sighed. "Yeah, sure, I'll go. In Zoro's house right?"

Zoro nodded. "Shit, give me like 10 minutes. Do I have to bring anything? "

"Just yourself. "

"Alright. See ya'."

The door shut and Zoro let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "That went well. "

"Yeah, now for whoever else lives on this floor!"

... Jimbei and Brook. He wondered if they were even home-? 

"Uhh... Jimbei in 105, and Brook in 103.. "

And Luffy was already at 105. Zoro smiled and followed along. He could be content with the rest of his life- just, relaxing with Luffy while being a little bit too high.

Luffy pounded on the door and scuffling came from inside. "I'm comin! Relax! "

Jimbei, agreed. Zoro expected that- Jimbei was a pretty fun dude! And he like... killed at grilling. 

Like, genuinely, it was so fucking good.

Brook also agreed, and said he would bring his karaoke machine. Luffy seemed to find that so fucking fun, because he cheered all the way to his own house to tell his invite through the door.

"Ace, Sabo, banquet at Zoro's! "

Luffy slammed the door. "You said a guy in 110?"

Yeah. The guy seemed pretty lonely, made he needed a friend... or a drink. God, that would suck. Everyone drinking alcohol while he had to stick to juice boxes. 

Oh well...

Zoro knocked on the door this time, and a hand peaked through. "This is someone who is not Kaido- right? "

"Who even is that? "

"Okay! " the door opened fully and a giant man, literally how tall is that? 8'9?!? "I am Yamato... errr... who are you two? " The guy bent down, his long blueish-ombré hair bouncing down with him. 

"I'm Zoro. I'm throwing a party, like at my house. 108. You're invited... and this idiot who's staring at your spiked bat is Luffy. "

"Ohh! Right, my bat... sorry i get a little anxious my father will find me. But yes, I'll be there! "

... "When? "

"Like... 10 mins be there. "

Yamato nodded and waved. "See ya' then!"

The door shut softly and Zoro sighed. God, he's just gonna text Robin and Franky... and Law. If the asshole doctor is even home.

"I'll just text the rest of em... Let's go home. "

Luffy marched along and was talking about like... talking marshmallows? Zoro just nodded along. 

... But a talking marshmallow did sound really, really good...

ZORO IS A BABYSITTER  

Me: you guys wanna come to a party

hairy big arms: who's going!

Robin: Chopper could come tho, correct?

Me: the cool people in this building  

Me: and of course he can come he’s like the coolest guy ever

Robin: count us in

Robin: 20 minutes should be fine?

Me: yeah! 

Zoro collapsed onto his couch and Usopp looked out of it. "Did you smoke my fucking joint or something? "

"No! No! I tried to help Sanji with all the food and he threatened me! With a knife! "

Zoro tried not to laugh (ok no he let it out, really loud) but... he couldn't help it! He bursted out into laughter while Usopp sulked. "He was dead serious! I swear, he was actually ready to kill me!”

Sanji collapsed onto the arm chair while Luffy made himself at home and scrolled through every single show and movie on Netflix. 

"What'd Nami~~ say! "

"Yeah, she said she'll be here. And like... half the building that we invited."

Usopp and Sanji gawked. It is surprising, after Sanji getting turned down for every offer to eat dinner with them. Maybe Luffy just has that affect on people? 

Or it’s the fact they invited half the building. Yeah, definitely that.

The door bursted open and Sabo, Ace and Yamato waved. "This guy is totally cool Luffy!"

"Hi Ace! I'm highhhhh! "

Ace groaned, but bowed his head. "Thank you for welcoming me into your home. " Sabo did the exact same time- and Zoro wondered again.

Where the hell were Luffy's manners? 

Yamato waved. "Hey. You said 10 minutes?”

"Yeah, it's fine. Welcome. "

Sanji seemed to explode. His face was beat red. "Too many attractive people... "

Usopp scoffed. "Am I at the top, Sanji~~?!"

...

Let's just say Usop wasn't the prettiest after Sanji's kick. 

Me: law ur invited to my house party if you want to do something 

Petty ass doctor: maybe. 

Me: ok, just sayin

Zoro looked up, and Nami was there. Dressed in a purple lace tank top with black shorts. Sanji would explode- if he wasn't busy swooning over Ace and his very visible muscles.

Because no shirt and and grey sweatpants is the trend this Florida summer. Apparently.

"Hello? "

Sanji looked up and grinned. "Welcome, Nami, welcome!"

Jimbei and Brook joined not too long after. The karaoke was fucking massive, first of all. He was fucking in shock in how someone so skinny could carry in a karaoke of that size by himself! 

Well... Jimbei seemed to have helped- 

It was nice, for awhile. The group sat around talking and getting to know eachother. Nami wasn't as scary and as witchy as he thought, and the new guy is fucking insane (in a good way).

Sanji, the fucking pervert, was actually acting normal for once. He was acting normal, even in a conversation with Nami. 

"How many of us can actually drink? " Sabo asked, looking around the room. 

... Zoro rolled his eyes at the stare Usopp and Swirly gave him. "God, I know, relax. "

So... only 6 people can legally drink. 

"I'll drink anyway, I'm almost 21 anyway. " Nami grabbed the beer on the table and somehow managed to pop the cap with her hand. "You all can't out drink me anyway! "

Nami winked and downed the bottle in probably a few seconds. Sanji practically exploded at the wink... god, he's a creep. 

Zoro stared stunned. "I can totally do that too. "

Luffy scoffed to his left. "Beer tastes gross anyway. "

Ace stared at Luffy, questioning and fucking scary... "How do you know? Have you been drinking? "

Luffy gulped. "No, no! I swear- okay, fine, that one time when-""No don't tell me! " Sabo yelled and covered his ears. "Don't, I don't wanna know! "

"Why don't you Zoro? Scared a lady will out drink ya'? "

Zoro blinked. "Uhhh... cause I was like addicted or whatever. "

Nami gasped. "Shit, sorry. " Zoro waved her off, muttering an 'it's fine'. 

Before anything else could happen- "Super Star Franky is here! " Franky fucking bursted through the door, sending Usopp flying backwards onto the hard, dirty floor behind the couch. "And of course, my lovely, loving wife and son. "

Robin waved and smiled, and Chopper happily grinned beside her.

Fucking, Zoro did not think this through. 

a fucking party.

Chapter Text

Luffy loved this group of people already! It was so fucking fun. Sanji's food, Usopp and Brooks awful- yet great- duet, Franky as a person- 

It was everything Luffy could need from a party!

And Zoro was there, drinking apple juice while a fluffy headed kid sat next to him doing the same. Chopper or something?

Yamato took the mic next. "I am Yamato! I will sing Shakira's best! "

The beat of 'she wolf' plays behind him. Luffy giggled- Dadan loved this song! She would always play it. 

... but the Spanish version.

Yamato sang along to the song horribly... like, actually horribly... did he even know the lyrics-?

Nami felt her eye twitch. "Be better, or I'll raise your rent! "

Yamato waved her off and struck a pose, holding the mic above his head. The chorus came and-

"Awoooo! "

...

Nami snatched the other mic... and was significantly better. Luffy grinned and hopped over the table to take the 3rd mic. The three sang the song while the group cheered- Sanji yelled something about Nami out-classing both of them.

The song ended and the three panted- god- "I'm out of breath... " Nami placed a hand to her chest and took a deep breath- 

Luffy grinned. 

"Sanji! Give me more food! "

"Get it your fucking self, moron! " 

Sanji did end up getting Luffy another plate of food... 

...

Zoro stared in horror as Yamato beat every single one of his opponents in an arm wrestle. Not even Jimbei or Franky stood a chance against the fucking beast that was Yamato. Seriously! How could anyone beat him!?! 

But Zoro was up for a challenge. 

Usopp yelled into the mic, god, so fucking loud. "Next up, Challenging our undeafted arm wrestle king Yamato, is Zoro!! Green from the head all way to his toes, " Zoro gave Usopp a glare... and Usopp screeched. "Errr- let's hear it for the both of them!"

The crowd (11 people...)  cheered. Zoro took a deep breath and took Yamato's hand. Ace grinned, "3! 2! 1! Gooooooo! "

God, this was actually challenging- 

Zoro felt the strain in his arm as the two stayed even. Yamato stared at their combined hands, focused on winning. 

Zoro felt Yamato starting to put more force.

"This a super match! " Franky yelled from behind Yamato, doing his strange pose (how can a man even do that-?). Luffy cheered, and Nami screamed for Zoro to win. 

"Go! Go! Go! " Ace and Sabo yelled, doing this weird and awful dance together. 

Zoro took a deep breath and pushed- 

"3, 2, 1! Zoro wins!! This is an unexpected win, no one expected this! " Usopp yells, "Literally no one! " What a blow to his confidence... 

"I fucking won, holy shit. "

Yamato cheered. "Good game! " the man lifted him 10ft off the ground as he hugged him, Jesus, how tall was this guy?! 

"Yeah, yeah! Let's go Zoro! " Luffy cheered for him the whole time and that did not make Zoro feel all gushy inside-

"Good job Zoro! Now I don't have to pay Usopp 30 dollars! " Sabo smiled and cheered. Zoro felt his cheeks heat up, they fucking bet on him?!?

"Yes Zoro, now I don't have to pay Robin 60! Thank you! " Nami winked and held up 60 dollars. "5 dollars off rent next month! "

Zoro blinked, and released himself from Yamato's stone like hug. "Wow, so generous. "

"Nami~~~ is so kind! "

Usopp screamed, and magically Brook had a mic in his hand. "This song, only us oldies will know... "

Zoro groaned. "Fucking middle agers. "

"Right!" Nami laughed. 

"I'm only in my late 40's! Yohohoho! "

The song started and... well, okay. Brook was right. All of the old people in the room instantly knew it. 

"Binks sake! " Robin grinned. "This song always played in that diner! "

Franky grinned. “The super diner we met at~!”

Zoro blinked and watched as four adults danced and shimmied together- which was definitely a horrifying sight. 

Chopper ew'ed to his right. "That's so gross. "

"It is, isn't it Chop? " Zoro sipped on the juice box in his hand. It was so odd, and yet he couldn't look away. 

"Should I know that? I'm like 28. "

Zoro gawked. "What- you're 28!?! "

Yamato shrugged. "Is that surprising? "

Ace was at Yamato's side, a small blush on his cheeks. Probably cause the guy is a fucking light weight and was already wasted- "Of course, Yamabro! I thought you were like... 23. "

"You're old! I'm only 11! "

Yamato grinned. "Make sure that the tooth fairy doesn't yank your teeth out tonight! "

Chopper looked horrified. "Zoro- that's not true right!?! The tooth fairy wouldn't do that, right? "

Zoro looked down and tsk'd. "Now that you know the tooth fairy's dark secret, she might have to leave you alone forever. "

"No more teeth money?! "

Luffy leaned over Zoro to get into Chopper's face- god Luffy is so close- 

"No more! Now the elf men in Sanji's closet will give you money! "

Sanji blinked. "What fucking elf men. "

"The ones in there. " Luffy said that like it was obvious- as if Sanji is the idiot for asking. Zoro smiled, and it quickly turned to laughter. 

A pure fucking laugh, because it's too goddamn funny-

Luffy goes back to his previous position and watches Zoro laugh- because Zoro looks so cute, and attractive and every other word to describe when someone is beautiful- 

Luffy feels the blush spreed across his face, and even his shoulders feel warm. 

Sabo is instantly at his side, grinning. "Luffy is b-l-u-s-""Shut up Sabo! I'm not- ""Not what? " 

Luffy feels the color drain from his face. God-

"Shut up! "

Zoro looks at him, with warm eyes that look so so soft and all Luffy wants to do is hold his face and kiss him- and oh-

Sanji screams- a girly, loud, and straight out of a horror movie scream-

"There's a fucking cockroach! Someone kill that stupid thing! " Sanji fucking runs away from the wall where a huge (why is it so big-) roach lies on the wall. "Someone- kill that thing! "

Nami screams, and in a second both Sanji and Nami are in this awful hug-like formation while backing towards the wall. 

Usopp stares at them blankly. "It's just a roach."

"A big one! Kill it, Usopp! Literally anyone!"

Ace stares at the thing with wide eyes. "Sabo, go get it! " He squirms and tumbles onto the floor. 

"Why fucking me?! "

"Because-" Ace slammed onto the floor, his head bouncing slightly as he fell asleep.

"And he's fucking asleep, don't worry, he's just narcoleptic. "

"Oh, wonderful. I thought he had just died."Robin silently giggles. Okay- wild reaction… 

Yamato stares up at the bug with amazement. "I've never seen a roach before! "

Sabo just stares, flabbergasted. How sheltered was this fucking guy? Though… he shouldn’t really be talking-

Chopper cries- genuine tears because it's now higher on the ceiling and it's getting too close to him-

"Someone kill it! " He cries and holds onto Zoro. 

Luffy doesn't even know what to say or do, because he just realized he likes Zoro in a non-friend way… and it's fucking killing him inside because what if Zoro doesn't like him as much as he likes Zoro-

Usopp sighs and collects the roach into a paper towel, and walks towards the balcony to throw the thing off. "You guys are all pussies. "

"You are just gross, fucking Usonose! "

Sanji collapses onto the floor. "God, I hope I never see a roach in here again. "

Zoro laughs. 

And then he looks at Luffy, who has been staring at the floor for like a really long time now-

"Hey, Luffy are you okay? "

Luffy snaps out of it, and smiles- "Yeah. I'm okay. Can I have some juice? "

Zoro smiles. "Yeah, I'll get some for you. "

Luffy watches as Zoro shrugs Chopper off his arm and gets up to get juice from the kitchen. Chopper sniffles, and suddenly Robin is there. 

"What happened? " She places a hand onto Chopper's cheek and smiles fondly.

Luffy snickers as Chopper stutters out "Cockroach." 

Robin giggles and wipes her sons tears away. "It's fine now, Mr. Roach is gone. " Chopper smiles and puffs his chest out. 

"Yeah! He's gone! "

Luffy finds the scene awfully cute. It reminds him of Dadan, and Makino- and the one time Garp was really nice to him on his birthday-

Luffy feels the couch dip next to him, and there's a juice infront of him. "Here. " 

"Thanks. " Luffy takes it and stabs a hole into the box, and instantly takes a long sip. 

Fuck. He likes Zoro- 

The door is banged on, and the group goes silent. "Did someone call the cops...? " Nami does not seem happy about that, and Luffy just wants a second where something isn't happening so that he can swallow the pill that he just discovered-

Franky opens the door. "May I help you! "

Buggy stares back with an annoyed look. "Can you fucking turn it down- are you guys throwing a party? "

Zoro groans. "No! "

Buggy stares as all 13 of them said it at the same fucking time. 'Fucking creeps' is all he can think. "I can be your clown, I’m free tonight-""No! Leave! We'll keep it down. " Nami shoo's him away, and closes the door. 

"Creep. "

"I heard that! " 

Nami makes a face. 

Franky grins. "Party is back on! "

Luffy watches as Brook turns the music back on, and Robin and Chopper are doing this silly dance together while Franky records. 

And Ace is awake again, and super drunk. 

And life is going on around him, and yet his heart can't stop racing because fuck- he likes Zoro. 

Luffy smiles. Oh well, it can't be helped, can it? 

"Zoro... wanna dance? "

Zoro grins. "Sure? "

Luffy smirks and pushes back the way his heart feels like leaping out of his chest. "Let's dance bachata! "

Zoro blinks. "What is that?"

"You'll see! "

Sabo and Ace smile. "La Bachata! " Ace rushes over to play a song, grinning as the music starts. 

"Sanji, dance with me. " Ace poses and holds a hand out dramatically and Sanji awkwardly takes the hand out for him. 

Luffy cringes- but turns his attention back to Zoro. "Okay, follow my lead. " 

Luffy places his hands on Zoro's waist, and looks down at his feet. "Okay, 1, 2, 3 steps to the right."

Zoro just follows along- this is kind of hard-

"And 1, 2, 3 steps to the left! "

He probably looks so stupid right now-

"You aren't that bad! "

Zoro chuckles. "Now, put your hands on my shoulders. "

Zoro does so, ignoring how hot it suddenly is in this house. Wow. Did the ac turn off? 

"This looks so stupid. "

"Just look at Ace and Sanji- you're doing fine. "

Zoro looks and cringes. Yikes... that's a fucking sight...

But Robin is still dancing with Chopper, and Sabo is attempting to teach Usopp, Nami, Brook, Yamato and Jimbei... who aren't doing too bad either. 

"You have to moves your hips with the music too."

Luffy removed his hands, and grabs Zoro's hand. "I'm gonna spin you-""Huh-" Luffy giggles as he twirls Zoro around, who has bright red cheeks. 

"When did you even learn this? "

"Growing up! Mama made us do dance classes like... everyday!" Luffy dances effortlessly, while Zoro struggles to even remember the fucking steps.

Zoro smiles.

It's oddly cute- 

"Okay, and don't forget the tap on the fourth beat! "

Zoro blinked. "The hell does that mean? "

"Just watch, idiot Zoro. "

Zoro huffs and continues to try and do bachata or whatever- 

The song ends, and fades into another Spanish song he doesn't know the name of-

"Wanna keep dancing? "

Zoro shrugs. "Yeah, maybe some all American dances too. "

"Oh yeah, like the cotton eye joe? “

Zoro grins. This is fine- and his heartbeat definitely isn't beating uncontrollably-

~~~

The party was done at 2 am, when Robin, Franky and (a sleeping) Chopper left. Ace and Yamato were dead asleep on the floor, and Sabo promised to come pick his idiot brother up in the morning morning. 

Luffy grinned and waved as he left, and Jimbei and Brook had left an hour ago. 

Law never showed, unsurprisingly. The dickhead was probably working- or was too busy being disgustingly domestic with Eustass-

"I'm going to fucking sleep, goodnight. " Usopp waddled towards his room and Merry happily barked as the door opened. 

She doesn't do well with big crowds. Neither does Enma, so he locked her into his room. Zoro looked around the living room. Sanji was walking Nami back home, cause you never know what kind of creep is out. Losing Nami after discovering how cool she actually is would really suck. 

plus, Nami’s rent is so unbelievably cheap-

The door opened again, and Sanji stared at him. 

Suspiciously- god- why is Sanji staring so fucking hard? 

"Let's talk on the balcony. " Zoro sighed but followed anyway. They haven't had a talk on the balcony in ages- probably since he'd met Luffy. 

Shit- it's been a whole month since he'd met Luffy.

Sanji collapsed onto the orange lawn chair and Zoro collapsed onto the blue chair beside it. 

It was quiet for a little, a nice quiet. 

"So, you told him about Kuina? "

Zoro chuckled softly. "Yeah, I did. "

Sanji raised a brow. "You must really like him- considering you didnt tell me and Usopp the full story till we were 17... well he was 15-""I get it, I get it. "

Zoro sighed. 

"Dunno. It feels so safe with him, for some reason. " Zoro pauses, "Not that i didnt with you and Usopp-""I get it. I'm not offended or anything."

The smell of cigarettes fills his nose. "I thought you quit? "

"I was... but then that big roach freaked me the hell out. "

It was really big. Like, insanely huge. How did that thing even exist-? 

"Okay. You should actually quit, y'know? "

Sanji sighs, and the grey smoke escapes his mouth to spread out into the air. "Yeah. I should."

Sanji messes with his shirt, and takes a deep breath. 

"How did you do it? Quit drinking? "

Zoro stared at the skies. "I thought of the people I love- and how stupid it was of me to hurt them and me. Like Usopp... and you. Ew. "

Sanji scoffed. "You are a fucking softie-""Shut up!"

Sanji chuckled softly. "Is that really it? "

Zoro shrugged. "I dunno. It gets easier, after awhile. It's good for me too, and I don't have to see Apoo's stupid fucking face. "

That's probably his favorite part. 

Oh, and not hurting the people around him. 

Sanji smirked. "Fucking Apoo. Wish we'd never met him. "

Zoro closed his eyes and leaned back. "We should report him. "

"We should. But we are 21 now, so the police probably don't care. "

Sanji looked down at his cigarette and stared at it. "My last cigarette, I guess. "

"Maybe the Vinsmoke genes will save you from lung cancer. " Zoro stares at his friend, or brother even- "I don't wanna see you go through something like cancer. "

Sanji stomps out the fire of the cigarette. "Yeah. Maybe thats the one thing they can give me. "

"And the Swirly's. "

Sanji kicks Zoro in the shin with a smile. "Shut the hell up. At least it isn't bright green hair."

"Hey, my parents are proud green-ers...? "

Sanji scoffs. "You never met them. "

"Yeah. True. I learned Japanese without them anyway, so fuck biological parents. "

"Yeah, fuck biological parents. "

The two sit in silence for awhile, admiring the night sky above them. 

"I think I'm gonna head to bed. "

"Yeah, me fucking too. " Sanji pushes himself off the chair and stretches. "G'night, Zoro. "

Zoro follows after him. "Yeah, goodnight Sanji."

...

He barely gets his crocs off before collapsing into bed, Enma grumpily cuddling into his side. 

"Yeah, yeah, girl. I love you too. "

He gets an angry meow in response.

Chapter Text

Zoro tossed and turned for probably an hour (it was actually like 20 minutes max)- and yet he couldn't go back to fucking sleep. He had beads of sweat building on his forehead- the stupid pijama pants were making him sweat like a bitch, and he had already tossed his shirt to the floor so long ago. 

It's too fucking hot. He can't stand this weather. 

Zoro blinked and let out a scream- a scream of frustration and irritation. Enma jumped and glared at him, her purple eyes glowing red in the sunlight peaking from his window.

That's annoying too- his broken blinds! 

Zoro grabbed his phone and texted out a lengthy complaint to Nami. 

Me: Dear Nami, although the party we had a few days ago was fantastic and you are a joy to be around, FIX THE GODDAMN AC!!!!!!! It's fucking unbearable.

Witchy Nami: Dear tenant, I'm fucking working on it. Just go to the pool, or something. Yknow, work on your tan! 

Witchy Nami: Now, unless you want to fix it yourself, LET ME DEAL WITH THIS!!

Me: fuck ok. 

Me: PLEASE FIX IT!!

Zoro groaned and shoved his phone in his pocket and left the room. Usopp stared at him as he exited, he looked so shocked. Like Zoro walked out completely naked (Which Usopp has seen plenty of times, to be honest). "Fucking what?" 

"Nothin', relax. It's just hot as hell and you're wearing pijama pants. " 

Zoro looked down. "Yeah, okay, true. I'm going to the pool. "

"Seriously? Oh my god, don't leave without me. Please Zoro-""Sure, sure."

God. Zoro pulled out his phone to check the weather-

85 degrees. Zoro blinked. What the fuck?! 

He's starting to feel glad he got fired, he can't imagine hauling boxes in this weather. Or gathering carts- or literally anything. 

He also thought to message Luffy, because he loves hanging out with the asshole...

He's not clingy whatsoever... 

Me: hey Luffy

Me: are you doing anything today

Idiot: HI ZORO!!

Idiot: and noooo

Idiot: just sit here sweating my ass OFFFFFF

Idiot: wanna hang out 

Me: I was about to ask you that

Me: let's go to the pool

Me: it's probably nice 

Me: or it'll suck

Idiot: YES ILL BE OVER!!! 

Zoro smiled and walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth. And pee- 

...

Zoro walked out and Luffy slammed the door open, yellow monkey swimming trunks, and a big red floatie-tube thing. 

"Hey Luffy. "

"Hey Zoro! And Sanji! Me and Zoro are going to the pool. "

"Yeah, I heard him tell Usopp. "

"Are you coming too? "

Zoro peaked around the corner to see Sanji shirtless with shorts on, fan in his face. "Suureeee. " 

Luffy bolted into the kitchen to stand next to the fan. "Oi, get out of here! I'm using the fucking fan-""You have to go put on a... traje de baño! Go! "

... Sanji stared. "A what...? "

"Ropa de baño! I forgot the word in English hold on... uhh... swimming suit, that, go! "

Sanji rolled his eyes and walked away. "Cactus, you too. "

Zoro scoffed and turned back into his room. "Bitch."

"Asshole! "

...

Luffy breathed into the fan and sighed- it was so hot in his house. Sabo and Ace are lucky that they have such long shifts at work- Sabo won't even be back till Monday! It's Friday- what kind of job keeps you there for 3 whole days?!

Luffy frowned. He misses when his brothers were always home- but it doesn't work like that anymore. Now he has to get a job too... but he can live off of mama's inheritance for a little more. 

Maybe like a year, honestly. If he keeps his spending low. But- he'a eventually gonna get one... when the summer ends.

Usopp steps out- in orange swimming trunks with goggles placed on top of his head. Usopp waved and posed. "Best swimmer ever Usopp is here! "

"You can swim?! "

"... Yes...? Can't everyone? "

"I can't! "

Usopp blinked. "Right... good luck? " 

Luffy smiled. "Ace can barely swim too! Sabo... can kind of swim... but better than both of us!"

Usopp felt his jaw hit the floor. "What the fuck."

Zoro came back out with four towels. He was wearing blue and black swimming trunks, and his green crocs on his feet. "Luffy can't swim? "

"Nope. "

Zoro scoffed. "Don't worry, I'll save you if you drown. "

Luffy smiled. "Thanks, Zoro. "

Usopp glanced between and squinted... 'Zoro is definitely blushing right now...' Usopp stared harder- 

"Usopp, relax. " Sanji's hand touched his shoulder and- god- he felt his fucking heart jump out of his chest. 

"Sanji- you scared the shit out of me!?! What the hell!?! "

Usopp felt so embarrassed as the three of them laughed at him... god this is so embarrassing...

"Give me that fan, Enma needs it. " Luffy unplugs it and hands it over. "Where's Merry? "

"I left her with Kaya in the morning. "

Zoro shrugs. "Okay, give me a minute."

"By the way, do you guys have sunscreen?”

~~~

Zoro unlocked the pool with his key and looked around... there was a few people... but most importantly- "Is that Law and Kid? "

Luffy looked over, god the dumbass (so unbelievably affection- Zoro can't believe he's clarifying himself-) can't just sneak a glance? 

"It is! " 

Zoro watched as Sanji and Usopp ran for the pool and scoffed. "Aren't you gonna go swim with them? "

"No, not yet. I wanna say hi to Law! " the two walked over (Zoro tossed the four towels on a random chair on the way) and Law was to busy staring fondly at Eustass to even notice-

"Hey Law. Can't believe you are at the pool." Zoro grinned at the thought. 

Law jumped and turned towards them. "Fucking hell... Hello. Can't a guy just, " Law held up his hand and smirked, "Go to the pool with his fiancé after a 36 hour shift? "

Luffy smiled and laughed- "Fiancé!?! Congrats Law! Can I be your best man? "

"Absolutely not. And thank you. "

"Fiancé, congrats. How long? "

"4 days now. "

Zoro gawked. "4 days and you didn't tell anyone?! "

"I've been busy-""You could've made an Instagram post! "

Law groaned. "Yeah, make one with our toes and your ring in it! And tag us! Make the caption like... " Luffy paused and stared up at the clouds,"Got engaged to the love of my life... with heart emojis and tag Jaggy. "

Law groaned. "First of all, fucking ew, why have your ugly fucking feet in my picture? And second of all, His name is Kid. "

"Jaggy. "

Law's eye twitched. "Fucking fine, let me take the goddamn picture. " Law propped his hand up and angled his phone to have the tips of Luffy and Zoro's toes in the fucking picture. This is so gross-

"There... what's your @ again Zoro? Wado...?"

Zoro felt his soul drain. "Ichi.Wado..." 

shut up- he was like 13 when he made it… 

Law smirked. "And Luffy-""Monkeyboy!"

Law laughed. "Yeah, there, tagged. "

Eustass peaked out of the water and stared. "Hey babe, what are you doing? "

"Making a post of our engagement. "

Zoro watched as the big guy- like- muscles in places he didn't even think posible, and the guy was like... 6'9- fucking got out of the water and ran towards Law, sweeping him off the chair and twirling him around.

Zoro couldn't help but laugh- "It's oddly cute. "

Zoro looked down at Luffy. "It honestly kind of is."

"Stop you fucking-""We are getting married!"

"Law's getting married?! " Usopp yelled and Zoro looked to see Sanji carrying an Usopp above his head with a shocked expression-

"Yes, he fucking is! To me! " Zoro watched as Eustass put Law down and grinned. "Post it, post it. "

Zoro honestly felt grossed out watching them take a selfie to add to the post- god. Seeing Law be so... in love was odd after knowing the asshole, emo, and bitchy doctor for so long. Did he even ever smile back at that Burger King they met him at?!

Hell, even seeing Eustass be so cutesy was odd. 

Zoro turned towards Luffy who also seemed to be thinking the same. "Wanna swim? "

Luffy looked up and grinned. "Yes! We should get Columbian food later. "

"Sure. "

Zoro looked at the pool, and then back at Luffy... throwing him in would be so funny...

So... he did exactly that. 

His hands grabbed Luffy by the waist, lifted, and-

"Zoro!!! " was the last thing heard as he threw the dumbass into the pool (yes, it was the shallow end). Luffy pushed up from the floor, soaked hair that stuck to his face, and a pouty face. It was really cute- god- Zoro, relax. He's like... your best friend- "I'm gonna get you back for that. "

"Sure. " Zoro jumped into the pool. Nami was right, the pool was nice today. 

Zoro resurfaced to see Usopp staring down at him. "Why are you so close to my face-""Let's play a game. "

... 

"What game? "

Usopp grinned. "You'll see. Go line up by the wall with Sanji. " Zoro groaned but walked over anyway. He was so fucking tall compared to the 3'ft pool... and yet he was barely anything compared to the 7'ft at the other side of the pool.

"What is Usopp planning, blondie? "

Sanji groaned. "Like I fucking know, greenie. "

Luffy walked over and stood tall, bright red floatie still hanging onto his hips. "Maybe the shark game! "

"What the fuck is that? "

Usopp clapped and gathered their attention, "We are going to play... the shark game! "

Zoro blinked. Seriously, what the hell is the shark game? 

"What is that...? "

"Someone's the shark and the others swim past him? Hello- are you living under a rock? "

Zoro blinked. 

"Sharks in the damn meadow? Why not say that, fucking idiot? "

Usopp shrugged. "Are you questioning me cause I'm black? "

Zoro sighed. "Īe, anata wa dikkuheddodesu.”

"I understood dick from that-""I'd hope so, after 10 something years of friendship. "

Usopp grinned. "Okay, let's play! Zoro's the shark! " 

Zoro took a deep breath. He was 100% targeting Usopp-

...

"Zoro, close your eyes and turn around! Pendejo!" Zoro attempted to ignore Luffy and his insults-

"Now, 3, 2, 1! "

Zoro listened closely for shuffling in the water, waiting for one of his asshole, idiot, fucking buffoons of friends to make a mistake.

There's a splash to his right, and he grins. 

He makes an even bigger splash as he tackles Usopp to the pool floor. "Fucking Jesus! What the hell!?! " Usopp wipes his face clean of the water after he resurfaces, but Zoro still has to catch Sanji and Luffy.

Zoro dives back into the water and swims towards Sanji, who's about to fucking win- "I fucking win, shit head! " Zoro groans and turns to Luffy, who looks around pretending that he isn't Zoro's next target. 

Zoro holds back a laugh, and swims over calmly. "Wow, have you seen an idiot with black hair who always wears a Strawhat? "

Luffy blinks- "Isn't that me- wait- oh! "

Zoro rolls his eyes and taps Luffy. "You're out. "

Luffy groans. "That's not fair! I can't even swim!"

Usopp walks over from the shallow end and Sanji jumps into the pool next to them. 

"Life isn't fair. "

"Shut up, don't be corny Zoro. "

Zoro frowns. "I'm not fucking corny-""You are! Remember when-" Zoro remembers, and no. No, no and no. 

"Yes, I remember, shut the fuck up! "

"Sabo always says that to me when I complain. Don't be a Sabo. "

Zoro groans, and considers diving into the water to not hear his judgy-ass friends. "Being corny is in, actually. Like those nerdy gamer boys that everyone wants now. "

Sanji blinks. "Who wants that? "

Usopp shrugs. "I dunno, Zoro maybe. " 

Luffy blinks. He isn't nerdy- he plays games sometimes but he isn't that! He frowns. He isn't even close to Zoro's type-"I'm not fucking into that. "

Luffy feels relief in his gut at that. "Maybe that's why Law and Eustass ended up together. "

"Exactly! " Zoro agrees and nods frantically. "I'm not sure which one is the nerdy gamer though... "

"We can fucking hear your dumbasses! "

Zoro pretends not to hear Law... they all seem to mutually agree on ignoring the Kid-Law couple. "So, what is your type then?” 

The question shocks all three of them- because why would Luffy be asking? Of all of them-

Zoro blinks, and then shrugs. "I don't know? Whoever makes me happy. Ew. "

Sanji laughs. "You are so sentimental-""Shut the hell up you Third rate cook! You haven't even gotten any play since high school! "

Usopp raised a brow. "Neither have you? "

Zoro blinks. "Shut up. "

Luffy grins. "Wow, you're all bitchless. "

"So are you! " The three exclaim, and Luffy giggles. 

"You don't know that. "

It's true, he has no play, but he also has a huge crush on Zoro... so... 

Zoro stares, and feels fucking jealous because he wants Luffy to himself or whatever. Zoro definitely doesn't think there's an underlying reason why he feels upset and so, so, so jealous.

"Who...? "

Luffy grins. "I'm kidding, I get zero bitches too. "

The four lean against the wall of the pool, and sigh. 

"Technically, Sanji promised to marry me...”

"Are you still on that you shithead!?! "

Usopp looks betrayed as he looks over, "Yes! You promised! "

"Yeah, when we turn fucking 30! "

Zoro looks at Luffy to his right, who's starting up at the bright blue Floridian sky. Okay, he had nothing to feel betrayed and jealous over. 

The sour feeling in his mouth doesn't leave though... 

"I'm hungry. "

"Me too. "

"Me three. "

"Me four. "

Luffy grins. "Okay! Let's go eat! "

~~~

They end up at a Columbian place, in their swim suits, still a little wet and very shirtless. 

Sanji looks around the place, and likes the homely feeling it has. The four sit at a booth, and wait. 

Zoro ignores whatever Usopp and Luffy are arguing about, and looks at his phone.

Witchy Nami: ac's back. 

Witchy Nami: charging you 10293782929293828928372 dollars for harassing me over it.

Me: I don't even have that much money.

Witchy Nami: I guess you'll be in debt now.  

Me: anyway, can you check on my cat. I don't want her to have a heat stroke and die.

Me: I'll follow her in death.

Witchy Nami: woah, relax, but sure. I'll check on your cat. 

Me: tysm  

Zoro looks back up and there's four waters, and a waiter. 

"Do you want to order now, or do you need more time? "

"More time! " 

"Say please you fucking fool-""Ow you fucking kicked me, Sanji! "

The waiter grins awkwardly and leaves. "You say please and thank you, Buffon! "

Luffy huffs, and looks at Zoro. "What should I get?" Zoro looks at the menu- that's in mostly Spanish and blinks. 

"I don't speak Spanish... what does an 'arepa' mean? "

Sanji scoffs, and Luffy giggles. "That's food. Zoro is an idiot. "

Zoro blinks. God, maybe he should've paid more attention when Usopp dragged them to the movie theater to watch Encanto or whatever. 

"Shut up, I knew that. "

He didn't know that, actually. 

"Okay, I'll order something I think you'll like. Meat or fish? "

Zoro looks at the menu, and decides that he wants fish. "Fish. "

"Okay. "

Usopp holds up the menu, and squints. "I want a tamale. " 

"Ta-mal-e. “

Usopp sticks his tongue out. "Sorry, I don't speak Spanish. "

Luffy laughs, and drops it. Sanji stares at the menu with pursed lips, and it looks like he's judging everything in sight. 

Like a swirly-browed food critic. Zoro holds back his laugh- but can't- god. 

"The hell are you laughing at, Greenheaded swine? "

"Maybe Luffy is tickling his-""Usopp! Shut the fuck-""Sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it, don't kill me! "

Zoro rolls his eyes and looks away, kicking Usopp in the shin. "Ow, you fucker! "

The waiter returns with a half smile. "Are you ready to order? "

"Yes! Zoro wants a fried fish, and I'll get a bandeja. "

"Okay, una bandeja y el pescado frito con arroz y frijoles. Verdad? "

Zoro stares in amazement how the pronunciation of bandeja can completely switch the waiter into full Spanish. "Si, así.”

"Y usted? "

"Oh, ellos no hablen español! "

The waiter gasps, and laughs softly. Zoro feels jealous, because he doesn't understand a word- he’s not even sure why-

"Sorry, and what would you two like? "

"The tamale meal. "

"Okay, tamale meal. " the server corrects Usopp respectfully- but Usopp doesn’t seem to notice.

"And you, sir? "

Zoro looks under the table, and sees Luffy's hand and without a second thought grabs it. 

Okay... he's holding hands with Luffy and he doesn't even know what compelled him to do this-

"I'll get the churrasco, with white rice and beans."

The waiter nods, and collects the menus. "It'll be out soon. "

Luffy doesn't say anything about them holding hands, so Zoro doesn't say anything either. 

Sanji stares at him. "Do you have a fever or are you blushing? " 

Usopp gasps. "Oh my god, was that waiter your type? "

Zoro blinks. Huh? 

Sanji nods. "Holy shit, it could be. "

Luffy shifts to his right, and attempts to wiggle his hand out of Zoro's but-"No. No- god, no. "

Luffy goes still, and Zoro tries to keep calm but his body is on fucking fire, and he's blushing and his heart won't shut up because he's holding Luffy's hand.

Zoro acknowledges his crush for one second, but decides it's too much to think about now and shoves into a deep corner of his brain. 

But it's still there, nagging at his brain. 

Usopp raises a brow. "Why not? "

"Cause it's not. Don't be annoying Usopp. "

Usopp rolls his eyes and returns to sipping on his water. "Okay, sorry, anyway, I got a raise. "

"By what? A few cents? "

Usopp groans. "No, 3 dollars higher. "

“Good shit Usopp. “

"Shit, I gotta find a job too. "

Sanji blinks. "You still haven't found a job!?! "

"It's been like 5 days since I got fired! Shut up, anyway, Congrats Usopp. "

Usopp wiggles in his seat. "Thank you, thank you. Years of long hard work at the art museum are finally paying off. "

"Did they ever tell you about the pie incident of 2017? "

Usopp blinks. "Yeah? "

"That was my brother. "

Usopp gawks, and is in shock because who would ever admit that when they are still looking for the culprit so many years later!?! Well... he's no snitch, but?! 

Luffy grins. "Don't tell anyone though... "

"Yeah. Okay, don't worry, I wouldn't dare. "

Because Luffy’s brothers are scary, and he doesn’t wanna be threatened, to be honest.

...

The food gets there, and Luffy unlinks his hand carefully. Zoro doesn't miss it, because his hand was getting really fucking sweaty but didn't have it in him to unlock himself. 

Zoro stares at the giant, huge, did he already say giant- fish. With rice. And beans.

"Woah. "

Zoro looked around the table and had nothing to say- everything looked so good.

Luffy instantly begins to eat, and Zoro does the same.

~~~

“I’m so fucking full. “ Zoro rubs his stomach and leans onto the window. “So fucking full… “

“Me too…”

“Me three… “

“Me four… “

…

“Anyone want to get ice cream later? “

Usopp, Sanji and Zoro instantly agree. 

Chapter Text

Zoro fucking dreads, hates, and fucking despises the weekend of July 4th. Seriously, what's the fucking point? Celebrate your independence by setting off loud, obnoxious, environment harming fireworks? Sure they can be pretty, but god, they just suck. 

And they kind of remind him of- don't think about it. 

Zoro looks down at Enma, who seems to think the same as she scurries into his closet to hide from the big bad fireworks. 

It's not even the fourth yet, and the assholes that live around him decide that it's time to set at least 20 off. 

He swallows the lump in his throat and leaves his room, to see Usopp and Sanji collapsed onto the couch. 

"Zoro, join us, we're watching Family guy. "

"Fucking, okay. How's Merry? "

"She's scared, hiding in your closet probably." Usopp looks gloomy thinking about how scared poor Merry is. 

"Why always mine...? " Zoro grumbles as he collapses next to Usopp, manspreading to make sure Usopp gets fucking annoyed. 

"Cause your stupid closet is like a noise canceler."

"It's not stupid if it saves our beloved Merry and Enma. "

Sanji sighs. "Yeah, yeah. Should we make hamburgers and pretend to have American pride? Or be normal? " 

Usopp grins. "I could go for a hamburger-""Not today, fucking moron, tomorrow. "

Zoro would kill for a hamburger and ribs, honestly. "Make ribs too... "

Zoro's already imagining himself demolishing a rack of ribs-"Yeah, fucking ribs! " Usopp cheers and gets on his phone to make an online order- at least, that's what Zoro is watching him do. 

"Maybe we can like go to the Everglades- fireworks should be illegal there. "

Sanji laughs. "And get our ribs and hamburgers stolen by a fucking gator? As if. "

Sanji looks over at Usopp and squints.

"Usopp, don't you dare try and order online. Let's go to the fucking store, like normal people. " Sanji snatches the phone and stares in disgust. "None of your younger generation shit. "

"We are two years apart? "

"Sorry, I don't understand baby babbles Usopp." Sanji grins, trying to hold back his laughter. 

"You fucking asshole. " Usopp grumbles, "Well, are we gonna go Prince Oldfart and... Manspreader Supreme Zoro? "

Zoro laughs. "Fucking yeah, Jest Long-Nose. "

Zoro looks down at himself... yeah, he's presentable. Not that he cares, but that one time he went to Walmart with shorts and a really, really thin tank top people kept talking to him about his gun routine- and he kept getting stares and glances... 

So... never again. 

Maybe people will leave him alone, since he's wearing a pair of Patrick pijamas that have 'ZOLU' horribly sewed onto the ass. It's his and Luffy's latest project...

That they did when they were unhinged at 2 am and high- and Zoro is still unemployed because no one wants to call back right now. Great-

 And of course, a regular black tank top, cause he can't get enough of tank tops... obviously... okay, can't a man just show off his muscles that he's work hard for!?! 

"Will Merry and Enma be okay..? " 

Zoro glances towards his room. "I don't know? "

Usopp frowned. "Merry, girl, we'll be back!" Usopp posed, awkwardly, and awfully- "She'll be okay, because I am her owner. "

Sanji kicked him in the ass (so, so close to the balls-) and rolled his eyes. "Fucking never do that again, first of all, and Zoro's closet is sound proof. Let's just leave the tv on and hurry up. "

Zoro ties his sneakers and follows Sanji out the door, who is wearing black shorts with bleach stains scattered around... that was a funny prank... until he was locked out of the house for 2 hours. Wow, hilarious. And some blue hoodie, which leaves him to wonder, how? it's humid as shit outside, even during the night time. 

Fucking Florida-

Usopp was wearing some purple shirt with a slinky and 'GARBAGE' written in Japanese Kanji... Usopp was not happy when he was told that, and of course his classic brown pijama pants. 

Wow, they sure look festive for the holiday.

Zoro sighed and followed. He looked at Luffy's door, and maybe it lingered for a second longer than he meant to because-

"Stop daydreaming about Luffy and let's go."

Zoro felt his cheeks heat up. "Shut the fuck up, I was not-""Yes you damn were! "

Usopp groaned. "Both of you shut the fuck up?"

"Yeah, shut up! " 

Zoro snapped his head to see Luffy carrying two bags of trash, like, really full bags of trash. How could three guys possibly create so much-?

Zoro takes a look at Luffy, and thinks the slightly oversized red hoodie makes Luffy look adorable in a way that isn't weird... and black gym shorts loosely tied around his waist. 

"Hey Luffy. "

"Hi Zoro, Sanji, and Usopp. "

"You got my name right! " Usopp grinned. Zoro didn't even realize that Luffy finally learned the other two’s names-

"Yeah, cause you guys are all my friends now! I have to take out the trash though- before I start to smell bad... "

Luffy grinned and walked past them, then dashing down the stairs. "He's gonna fall. "

Zoro chuckled. "Let's go watch it happen. "

...

Unfortunately, Luffy did not fall. 

"Anyway, " Luffy wiped his hands on eachother, "Where are you guys going? "

"Walmart. " the three blurted out at the same time. 

"Ohhh, can I come? "

"Sure. "

Luffy smiles. Zoro let's out a breath he didn't know he was holding. 

"Awesome! "

~~~

The car ride was hell, because Sanji has a messy car full of weird cooking books and a box of clothes, deodorant, and other shit because 'One day I'll need it, I fucking swear.' 

Luffy is fighting with Usopp over control of the Bluetooth, and won. "Haha! Bitch. " Luffy grins as he leans back onto his seat and types away at his phone.

"No fucking minion anything, please. " Zoro pleads, and Sanji grimaces. 

"Don't fucking remind me of that Orlando trip."

Usopp smiles, and Zoro kicks the back of his seat. "You fucking asshole! We should've thrown you at the stupid cow farms. " Zoro thinks of all the cow farms they passed in that 2 hours, and how he should’ve thrown Usopp out at one.

Usopp gasps. "Because I'm black!?! "

"No, you dumbass! It's not because of that, it's because you played minion music for 2 fucking hours!?! "

Luffy laughs, and regular music plays through the car speaker. Zoro sighs in relief. "Don't worry, I'd never do that to Zoro. " Luffy smiles at him, and Zoro feels his heart do that tingle thing-"Maybe Sanji and Usopp though, depends."

Usopp whines like a baby, like an actual fucking baby. "I thought we were friends? "

"We are, but Zoro is my bestfriend. "

Sanji scoffs. "Friendzoned, rough. "

Zoro coughs. "There is no 'friendzone' because we are best friends. "

Zoro doesn't catch Luffy's frown, but Sanji certainly does. A brow raises, and Zoro chuckles. "Put your eyebrow down- you might distract the other drivers. "

"I'm gonna crash this car into a bridge and hope you all die with me. "

Usopp squeals and wiggles in his chair, freaking out over that sentence. "I can't die I have a full scholarship to finish! "

Sanji shrugs. "Art is dead. You'll have no fans till you die. "

Usopp puffs his chest out. "My art is good, I'll be like Mozart. "

Luffy blinks. "Isn't that a musican...? " Zoro is shocked Luffy knows that- but Usopp coughs and blinks. 

"Fuck, he is. God, ignore that. I'm an art major and I didn't even say an actual artist. "

Sanji laughs, and keeps fucking laughing- and it's scaring Zoro because Sanji is supposed to be driving, not laughing.

"Fucking idiot, either way no one cared for Mozart till he died anyway- so you still lose.”

Usopp scoffs. "I'm good at art. "

"Yeah, I know, I saw those porn-drawing collection under your bed-""Stop snooping around our fucking stuff! First Zoro's porn-""Shut up! Not when Luffy is here! "

Luffy is shocked by this information. "Usopp draws porn AND Zoro is porn guy?!”

Zoro looks at Luffy, and for the first time in awhile is humiliated. He can tell Luffy about Kuina and Yuba, and about his awful-ish childhood but his porn?! God- no. 

"Was. I was a porn guy. "

Luffy blinks. "So you watched it alot or-""He made it. Made- he's not some weird porn addict." Sanji laughs a little, and tries not to think about Zoro riding that- ew. 

Usopp buried his face into the dashboard, and Zoro is fucking blushing. "Usopp, I'm gonna fight you in the parking lot. Why did you bring me into this? "

Usopp squeals. "I thought he knew! You tell him everything. " that's true. He tells Luffy literally everything, and Luffy tells him a lot in return. 

But- he was too embarrassed by that whole phase of his life to ever acknowledge it. Minus that he earned fucking bank for a year until he deleted all of it and deleted his account. 

It's probably still out there somewhere... but he doesn't care enough to confirm his suspicions.

"It's okay Zoro, I don't care about your past. "

Luffy smiles, and Zoro smiles back. "Okay. I'm glad. "

Sanji thinks he's just seen two men fall in love in the backseat of his car, but he knows that Zoro will deny his feelings for the fucking Buffon with a Strawhat till they kiss or something... so, he doesn't bother. 

"Do you really think I won't make it as an artist...? "

Usopp looks genuinely hopeless and lost, and Sanji feels genuinely bad for saying that shit about art being dead as he pulls into the parking lot of that one 24 hour-7 days a week Walmart. 

Sanji frowns. "No. I'm sure that if anyone can be famous, it's you. And Zoro and his porn-""Just shut the hell up about it you shitty chef!"

Luffy laughs, and Zoro leans onto Usopp's chair and watches as the veins in Sanji's neck pop up. "I'm gonna burn your Ichigo figure. The resign one that was like 300 dollars-""Leave him out of this! I'm gonna toss your stupid kitchen knives off the balcony-"

"You shut the fuck up before I crash my car! "

...

So yeah. Worst (best) car ride ever.

Zoro leaves the car and makes sure Usopp is trapped for about 5 seconds before slamming the door shut. "Don't slam the fucking door to my car! Fucking Cactus head! "

Zoro ignores him and watches as Luffy excitedly grabs a cart and rides away on it (almost gets hit by a car too)... 

Zoro rushes over and traps Luffy, his arms on the bars surrounding Luffy, so that he can't almost die again. 

Sanji scoffs but runs over, and Usopp just follows along. Sanji looks down at his phone and scans over the list. "A rack of ribs, some hamburger meat, buns, barbecue... " 

Luffy pushes through the warm feeling in his chest because Zoro now has his head on his shoulder. "You guys are making ribs?! And burgers?! "

Usopp grins. "Yes! Pretending we have American pride this year. No shitty fireworks though. "

Luffy grins. "One time Ace almost blew his head off with a firework- anyway, can I come? "

"Yeah. " Zoro yawns a little, and keeps pushing the cart towards the building. "Maybe Walmart is hiring. "

"Walmart doesn't want a cactus working here. "

Zoro felt his brow twitch- "What do you mean-""They just don't, Cactus. "

Zoro stares at Sanji and hopes that the idiot dartbrow falls on his fucking stupid face-

"Fuck off. "

Sanji shrugs and walks off towards the meats, and Zoro pushes the cart after him. "We should work at a movie theater. "

"We? "

"Yes. I need a job, home is too lonely. "

Zoro laughs. "I mean, that could work. "

"Zoro! Hurry up, we found the ribs! " Zoro stares at Usopp, who just has to scream at the top of his lungs. 

Zoro runs over with the cart anyway. Luffy cheers the whole way, grinning from cheek to cheek.

Zoro stares down at the ribs, and releases the cart to investigate more. "What kind of pig died for this rack...? "

The four stare down at the absolutely massive, majestic, perfect rack of ribs below them. "A perfect, loved, and fat pig. Help me get it in the cart. "

Zoro picks up one side, and Sanji lifts the other to haul it into the cart. "Usopp, do it.”

Usopp looks around as he switches the sticker from a 97 dollar rack to a 35 dollar one... "No one saw that right...? "

Luffy looks around (it's so suspicious-looking that Luffy might have gotten them all caught right there-). "No, coast is clear.”

Sanji grabs hold of the cart and marches off towards the cow meat. "I need ground lean beef..."

Usopp looks around one more time before following along. "I feel like a pirate... I'm the captain. " Luffy marches along, and walks in a way that his flip flops clank with every step. Zoro holds back a laugh. 

"Sure, aye aye Captain. "

Luffy definitely does not blush and feel his heart clench at the way Zoro pronounces Captain- 

"Yes! Let's go, my first mate. "

Usopp stares at the obvious blush on Luffy's cheek... way to be fucking obvious. But with a dense idiot like Zoro, Zoro would never catch on. 

"I'm the captain, actually. "

Luffy stares blankly. "No, you aren't. "

Usopp frowns. "Please? "

"No. "

Sanji turns around and swears he sees a purple cloud surrounding Usopp's head. "Would I be the handsome, dreamy, sexy Prince of the kitchen? "

Zoro scoffs. "You aren't any of those things. Just some third rate cook. "

Sanji's eyebrow furrows (the other one too, probably but his stupid bangs cover it), "You take that back you shit swordsmen! "

Luffy giggles. "No, you'd just be the chef! "

Sanji rolls his eyes and tossed in three packets of lean ground beef into the cart. "Okay, I can deal with that. I'll be Mr. Prince on the side. "

"No one wants you as a Prince. "

"Maybe Usopp does. " Sanji attempts to kick Zoro, but Zoro already moved out the way. 

Usopp waves in his hand back and forth. "No, no. You've already cheated on me too much. "

Luffy gasps. "Oh my god, Sanji, are you gonna let him talk to like that? "

"We aren't even together you fuck-"

"Yeah, because you are fucking Luffy's brother-"

"I am not-"

"You're what!?! "

Zoro stares, and shrugs before he keeps walking. 

"Mosshead, get back here before you get fucking lost! " 

Zoro huffs. 

"Fuck you. "

~~~

"Sanji, get this barbecue. It has marshmallows mixed in. "

Sanji makes a face of disgust as Luffy holds up the absolute disgusting mixture of food. "That's a culinary crime... get that out of my face. " Sanji pushes Luffy's hand away.

Luffy pouts. "Maybe it's good. "

"Be serious, that is not gonna be good. " Usopp stares down at the mixture, "This is why other countries don't respect us. "

"You guys are missing out. "

"Do not put that in my cart, Luffy. I'll kick you."

Luffy pouts. "Finneeeee... "

Zoro stares at the white barbecue with a look of disgust. "Why would you even want that? "

Luffy shrugs. "Dunno- to prove a point. "

Usopp blinks. "To prove a point to who? "

Luffy grins. "Shishishi! Where to next! "

"You can't just not answer-"

~~~

The bread isle is so massive that Zoro thinks they've entered an alternate universe by accident, because it has never been this big. 

"Has the bread isle here always been so... big? "

Usopp seems just as dazed. "No... this is like if Costco and Aldi's had a love baby. "

Zoro nods, and looks around. "Yeah, I think you have a point. " Zoro follows along after Sanji, who's taking an earful of whatever Luffy is talking about. Something about why that marshmallow-barbecue could be the future, but Sanji seems unimpressed.

"Oh look! Taco bread! " Luffy points over at it, and Zoro can't help but turn to look.

Usopp runs over and takes a package. "Now this could be the future. Crunchy bread. " Zoro glances over Usopp's shoulder to see the 'future'... and the future is disappointing.

"Looks like shit. "

"Take that back. "

"No. "

Usopp pouts and shoves the bread back where it belongs. "You just aren't seeing it how I'm seeing it. "

"I'm seeing pretty clearly that it's probably shit, so... "

Usopp shoves a hand to his face and dramatically walks four steps ahead before crashing into the cart. 

Sanji scoffs. "Ha! Idiot. "

Usopp collapses onto the floor in an unpleasant sight, and stays there.

"Ew, get off the floor. That's disgusting. "

Zoro holds out a hand and Usopp takes it, even more dramatically then his fall. "Honestly, I didn't think about it before I did it. "

"We can tell. " Usopp blinks at all three of them who said it at the same fucking time. 

"What the fuck? " 

Sanji 'accidentally' hits him with a bag of hamburger buns before tossing three packets of 6 into the cart. 

"My dignity... "

"Alright, come on Mr. Dignity, we have more groceries to collect. "

Zoro feels weird as he leaves the bread isle. Like they weren't supposed to be there in the first place, but decides that he doesn't really care.

...

"Did anyone else feel really weird after leaving the bread isle...? "

The four turn around, but the isle remains the same.

"Let's just hurry up and get out of here... " Sanji makes a face and runs along with the cart. 

~~~

Sanji scans the items quickly at the self checkout. 

"This is 24 hours but I haven't seen a single employee. And only like... 4 other people. "

Sanji stares. "Stop talking about how weird this place is. "

Luffy stares in amazement at the huge isle of candy at the self checkout. "Can I-""No.

Luffy pouts. "Okay, fine. "

Zoro scoffs. And then watches as Luffy just shoves two candy bars into his pockets, and looks extremely suspicious looking around. Who taught this dumbass to steal?!

they did a horrible job.

"Luffy, stop looking around like that. "

Luffy meets Zoro's eyes. "I'm a pirate, it must be done. "

"Okay, Captain, maybe don't look like an idiot while doing pirate behavior. "

Luffy's cheeks turn pink at Zoro's Captain, because the Mosshead just seems to know how to get Luffy flustered. 

Usopp stares at the seen with a blank stare. 

'So gross. '

Sanji swipes his card, and quickly hands out the bags. "We're going to make a dash out of here, and make it to the car in record time. Someone make sure Zoro doesn't go the wrong way. "

Zoro is given the bag with the ribs, Luffy has the bread, Usopp has the meat and Sanji has the miscellaneous bag. 

...

The four effectively escape the Walmart- with no casualties.

The three giggle as Sanji opens his trunk with his foot. "That was fun! " Luffy grins as he tosses the buns in. 

"Woooah! Don't toss the food so carelessly." Usopp eyes Sanji as he carefully places his own bag in the trunk. 

Sanji scoffs and places down his bag before looking around... 

...

"Shit, that fucking Mosshead went the wrong way. "

Luffy laughs. "Zoooorooo! " 

It takes a few seconds, but Zoro is running over- "There's a fucking dog chasing me! " Sanji blinks, and then pulls out his phone to record Zoro being chased by a dog in an empty parking lot. 

"Fucking- don't film me- HELP you assholes! "

Sanji doubles over laughing, and Usopp can't help but do the same. 

"Don't worry! I'll tame it! "

...

Sanji wheezes out a laugh, because now there's two fucking idiots being chased by a crazy dog. 

Zoro runs by the car and tosses the ribs into the trunk. "Fucking close the trunk! The dog wants the ribs! "

Sanji shuts it, and the dog growls before running away. 

... the car ride back home all Sanji, Usopp and Luffy can do is rewatch the video and laugh. 

Zoro wishes he had stayed home. (No he doesn't.)

Chapter Text

A loud firework is what wakes him up in the afternoon. His back aches, and his neck feels like shit because all four of them had stayed up all night watching shitty movies and shows before falling asleep on the couch and floor. He's unlucky, he got the floor- with Luffy's legs tossed over his stomach and the blanket is uncomfortably sweaty. 

Loud snoring fills the room, and he smiles to himself.

"Finally up, Mossy? "

Zoro looks up at Sanji who's dressed in the stupidest attire ever. A shirt with the French flag and 'PROUDLY FRENCH' written in a shit font, and bright blue gym shorts. 

"What? It's my French pride. "

"No one is that proud to be French. "

"Shut up. Hurry up and get Luffy and Usopp awake. It's already two. "

Zoro gasps. "It's two?! "

"2:30 now, so you'd better wake them up. I'm gonna finish preparing the meats. "

Zoro looks over at Usopp. Snoring and drooling, comfortably spread out over the couch. Zoro sighs and gets up. He shakes Usopp until Usopp jumps up and screams.

"What!?! "

"Wake up, it's already 2. "

Usopp blinks and groans. "Fucking... really? Shit."

"Yeah, get the hell up. " Sanji doesn't even look up from seasoning the meats- or whatever it is that he's doing.

Usopp looks over at Sanji, and makes a face at Sanji's French attire. "Who is that proud to be French...?"

Sanji furrows his brow. "Shut the fuck up, go fucking shower and stop judging my French Pride! " Sanji practically yells this out to the world, honestly.

Usopp makes a face. "You'd think someone would have more pride during pride month..."

Zoro snorts. 

"Luffy, wake up. " Zoro kicks at Luffy (softly).

Luffy mumbles something. "I got this, don't worry Zoro. " Usopp cracks his knuckles and neck, "Wake up! There's meat cooking!”

Luffy sits up and looks around. "Where? "

Zoro blinks. "That did not just work. "

Usopp grins. "Haha! Master Usopp strikes again!... anyway, can you go brush your teeth so I can shower? "

Zoro blinks. "Fuck off, I'm showering first. "

Luffy looks around confused. "Can I shower first...?"

"Just go home, shower and come back? " Usopp raised a brow and Luffy rubs at his eyes. 

A yawn escapes his mouth. "I forgot my key though! And Sabo is working, and Ace... "

"Okay, you can shower after me. Usopp give him some underwear. " Zoro is already in the bathroom as Usopp registers his words...

"That fuck face. "

Luffy looks over at the kitchen and makes a face at Sanji's outfit... "What's with your outfit...?"

Sanji groans in frustration. "Just let me have French Pride, damnit! Get out of here, now! "

And so, Usopp and Luffy fled to Usopp's room so that he can get Luffy something to wear after his shower. "Uhh, here you can use this underwear..."

Usopp tosses over some black underwear he had, and Luffy catches it. "I can just wear my hoodie and shorts again though."

Usopp blinks. "True, true... at least take some socks. "

"But then my feet won't be free. " Luffy pouts.

What kind of person doesn't like socks on their feet?!?

"Ummm... okay, Zoro can give you a towel while I shower. "

As Usopp expected, Zoro was taking his sweet time. Luffy looks around his room with pursed lips. "Is this all your art? "

Usopp grins. "Yes- I know, I know, it's great. "

Or, that's what he tells himself... anyway. 

"It is! Where's that naked collection Sanji was talking about?! "

Usopp blinks. "Why? Do you wanna see it!?”

Luffy shrugs. "I dunno. Could be fun. "

"You wouldn't wanna see it, I've drawn Zoro naked. Once. " Usopp had to pay Zoro 100 dollars just to model for him... god, but anything to master his craft. It was also so weird but it's not like he hadn't seen Zoro naked in the 10 something years they've been friends.

Luffy blushes. "You have?!? "

Usopp smirks. "Yes. Had to pay him 100 dollars."

So... Luffy does have an obvious crush on Zoro. Of course, he won't instigate- but maybe a gentle push or two...

Luffy seems to be thinking about it in his head because he quickly sits on the floor and puts the hoodie over his head. 

"Oh my god. You have a crush on Zoro. "

Luffy falls back with a whine. "Shut up! The walls are thin. He might hear you! "

"He might hear you! You're the one yelling." Usopp rolls his eyes.

Luffy pales. "How do you know? Is it obvious? "

Usopp thinks of the last 15 or so hours, and it's very obvious. So obvious it was sometimes infuriating- like that captain shit that would send Luffy straight into a state of blushing and grinning. Hell- or all of Zoro's unnecessary shows of affection. 

"Yes. But someone as dense as Zoro wouldn't notice, so don't worry. " Usopp wants to add that Zoro likes him back- but he'd rather see a disgusting amount of mutual pinning.

Luffy sighs. "Maybe it'll go away. "

Usopp smirks. He knows it won't. 

"Do you want it to go away? "

"No. I wanna be with him- and kiss him- and hold his hand- and-""Okay- don't tell me that last part. "

Luffy blinks. "What...? Cuddle? "

Usopp blinks. "Oh. I thought you were gonna say sex. "

Luffy makes a face. "Not my thing... is it Zoro's?"

No, Zoro is probably the most sexless creature in the whole planet. Virgin supreme- hasn't had play in decades. Okay, since high school, but... 

"No. He's indifferent about it. "

Luffy grins. "Okay. Do you think he likes me... too? Actually- don't tell me. " 

"Really? Don't want my opinion? "

"No. What if you're wrong and I ruin everything me and Zoro have? "

"Zoro and I. " Usopp corrects, pointing his finger up and all.

Luffy scoffs. "Shut up. " 

Usopp falls to the floor. "Haven't I suffered enough...? "

Luffy puts a foot on his head and laughs manically. Usopp grimaces, and charges at Luffy. "You gross bitch! Why would you put your stupid feet on me??! "

Zoro opens the door and stares at the both of them trading pathetic slaps. Luffy feels his heart start to speed up at the sight of Zoro fresh out the shower- towel wrapped around his waist and his muscles out and-

Luffy, be normal. 

"Okay, weird. But I'm done, If you two wanna slap over who goes next. "

Usopp gets up. "Let me. This idiot put his fucking feet on my head. "

Zoro snickers as Usopp walks past him. "Don't fucking laugh, you shitty muscle brains! " the bathroom door slams shut. 

"Usopp, don't slam the door you idiot! What if the hinges come off again?! " Sanji screams.

"Don't care! " Usopp screams back, and the shower turns on. 

Luffy is still staring mesmerized by the sight of Zoro. "Luffy? Are you gonna keep spacing out or leave Usopp's room? "

Luffy blinks. "Oh, yeah, okay. " Luffy shoves the boxer Usopp gave him in his pocket and follows Zoro out. 

And keeps following him into his room. Wait- 

"I'm gonna change, so like... turn around. I would say go bother Mr. Swirly, but he might stab you so... "

Luffy blinks. And blushes, because clearly all he can do around a naked (towel is still there, of course) Zoro is be a blush-y mess. 

"Oh, yeah, okay. "

Luffy faces plants into Zoro's bed, and Enma swats at his head. "Looks like she likes you. She used to hiss at me for months when I first got her." Luffy looks up- without thinking and almost squeals at the sight of Zoro's bare ass-

He turns right back into the bed.

"Yeah! I have that affect on animals. And people." It comes out muffled from the bed, but Zoro understands it anyway. 

"You do, don't you, Captain. " Zoro smirks, and Luffy feels his whole body is on fire from Zoro being naked and this stupid (Luffy very much loves it) 'captain' shit. 

"Yes! "

"Okay, I'm dressed. You can stop doing that now."

Luffy sits up, and stares at Zoro's new outfit. A black tank top and cameo-but not- shorts. "I saw your butt by accident." Enma rubs up against Luffy's hands with a meow. 

"Yeah? Did you like it? "

Zoro laughs and Luffy nods. "Yeah. You have a nice butt. "

Zoro did not expect that answer whatsoever- he feels his heart clench. "Thank you. You have a nice face...? "

Luffy laughs. 

"Thank you. "

Enma hisses at Zoro, and Zoro frowns. "What? Did I do something to you, idiot cat? "

Enma meows angrily in response, and crawls into Luffy's lap. "Why does my cat like you more than me? I saved you off the street, dickhead. "

She ignores him, and Zoro scoffs. 

"You saved her? "

Zoro blinks. "Huh, oh, yeah. Been 2 years now."

Zoro thinks of when she crawled into his arms while he was sleeping in an alley way, and smiles. Even if she's moody, and a little shithead, he knows she loves him. 

Luffy pets Enma with a smile. "She's cute.”

"I know. " 

Enma purrs, and then Usopp pounds on the door. "Luffy, hurry up and shower so that we can fucking eat! " 

Luffy stares down at his lap and pouts. "Sorry girl. " she meows, and then jumps off and struts towards her cat tree. 

Then he's up- "Take a towel, dummy. " Zoro tosses a towel at him. Luffy catches it effortlessly.

Luffy smiles. "Okay, thank you. "

Zoro slaps his own face as Luffy walks out. Nice face? Seriously?

He cringes at himself.

~~~

Luffy jumps over the couch with a grin, landing right in between Usopp and Zoro. "Okay, I'm done! " Luffy looks over at Usopp's outfit, cotton overalls and a white tank top.

"You brushed your teeth? "

"Yeah! I used Zoro's toothbrush. "

Zoro grimaces. "You... what? "

"I used your toothbrush! The green one, thanks!"

Zoro blinks- "You could've asked for one...? We have extras. "

Luffy shrugs. "Oh well... "

Usopp makes a face. "That is so disgusting. Another man using my tooth brush? I wouldn't let that slide, personally. "

Luffy giggles to himself. "It's not that big of a deal. "

Zoro falls back dramatically into the couch, groaning aloud. "No- it's sacred. A toothbrush is sacred... "

"Okay fine, If you wanna use my toothbrush you can. I don't mind. "

"I mind! Please, don't ever use my toothbrush again. "

Luffy laughs. "Okay, fine, sorry. "

Zoro sighs in relief. "Okay, I forgive you. Anyway, did you see Usopp's porn collection? "

"Will you stop calling it that, you Muscle-Head of a man!?! "

Zoro smirks. "No, but he said you were in there too! "

Zoro blinks. He had forgotten about that- oh, shit. "I forgot about that... "

Sanji laughs from the kitchen. "How'd you forget something like that!?! "

Zoro shrugs. "Dunno, maybe cause it's embarrassing to think I sat there naked and posed for an hour. "

Sanji starts to laugh again. Zoro rolls his eyes and turns his attention back to the tv, that's playing the movie Superbad. 

Okay, awesome.

"I'm hungry, Sanji. " 

"Shut up, Luffy. It's almost ready. "

"When mama would say that it meant another hour... "

A bag of chips is kicked at Luffy's head, and it hits square on. "Thank you! "

"Just let me cook. "

"Let me get some, Luffy. " Zoro is fucking starving. It's only been an hour and half since he woke up- but for some reason he's so hungry he could eat a house.

Okay. Not really.

But he is very hungry.

"Okay, here. "

Zoro smiles, and shoves his hand into the bag of Tostitos.

"Zorooo! That's a bunch! "

"It's a party sized bag, share. "

Luffy grins, but then shoves like a handful in his mouth. Zoro smiles softly.

He acknowledges his crush again, before shoving it down to deal with later.

Usopp watches this whole scene go with a blank face. It's so obvious it hurts, but he won't intervene. Not till it physically pains him-

Another couple fireworks go off, and Merry whimpers softly from her spot next to Usopp. "Hey, it's okay girl. "

"Do fireworks really scare dogs so much? "

"It scares pets, Enma doesn't like them much either."

He wouldn't say scared, because Enma can ignore them, but the loud ones really get to her. Luffy frowns. "I should go beat up all our neighbors. "

Zoro blinks. "No...? "

"I'll flee the scene, don't worry! "

Usopp laughs as he pulls Merry onto his lap to lay with him. "Be serious, c'mon. You aren't fleeing for shit. "

Luffy shrugs. "In high school I beat up some noble though. I didn't get in trouble.”

Zoro blinks. "A fucking Noble...? "

"He was harassing my friend! So I punched him in his stupid face, and he never bothered her again. "

Zoro stupidly smiles. 

"Fucking Moss-Head did the same, but he got suspended for two weeks. "

"Oh, well me too! But I didn't get a cop over."

Zoro grins. "I'm an orphan, so they didn't care to call a cop over. "

Luffy shoves another handful of chips into his mouth. "Oh- yeah-, " The idiot is munching through his sentence. Zoro doesn't have a clue what the hell Luffy is gonna say next, "My grandpa threatened the school, cause he's the chief of police! But it just meant he could throw me and my brothers behind bars for a night or two... "

Zoro blinks. And he thought his some of his foster homes were bad. 

Usopp coughs. "He what!?! "

"Threw us behind bars. "

"Hey- my bio-father did the same." Sanji's voice is soft, and there's a small chuckle that follows the sentence. Zoro doesn't know what to be more shocked by, Sanji admitting something about his time with the Vinsmokes or- okay, no, everything about this is shocking.

Luffy tilts his head. "Want me to punch him? "

Sanji laughs, "No, don't worry, I already kicked his ass."

Zoro remembers, since he was like there or whatever. Yeah, and then the three of them had to flee the mansion and hid in a forest for 6 hours… 

what a time.

"Okay, but let me know if he ever needs mine his face too. "

Sanji smiled to himself, and looks over his kitchen. 

"Okay. The meats ready, who's helping me take it downstairs to the grills? "

Luffy instantly cheers and makes his way to the kitchen. 

Zoro smiles to himself. He decides Luffy is probably the best thing ever, before standing up to help with the topper-wares of seasoned and raw meat.

And that rack of ribs... 

The four of them (after Usopp puts Merry into Zoro's closet) hurry downstairs with all of their ingredients.

~~~

The pool is surprisingly empty. 

The sky is bright, and the explosions of fireworks and loud music from the surrounding buildings can be heard. 

Zoro lies on a pool chair, hands pillowed behind his head. "It's nice out today. "

"You're joking- the air feels sticky. " Usopp pulls up two seats near the grill, probably for him and Sanji because Luffy has already sat at the edge of Zoro's pool chair.

"It's always sticky here- learn to deal with it. "

Usopp makes a face. "No. I'll never learn to deal with Florida anything. "

Zoro scoffs. Well, the climate has changed from when he was a kid. He used to be able to wear hoodies without a sweat in the summer... but now he'll sweat buckets in a tank top. 

Fucking Florida.

"I like it! Reminds me of the house in Mexico. "

Zoro blinks. "House in Mexico? "

"Yea! But we only went there for a summer- but Ace, Sabo and I became kings of the forest! "

Zoro imagines a kid Luffy running around a forest and causing trouble for all the other animals and smiles. It’s endearing. 

"You got the grammar right! " Usopp cheers, and then he pulls out a speaker. "I'm gonna play some minion music if you don't mind. "

Sanji kicks the chair full force and sends Usopp toppling down to the floor with dramatic screams of 'I'm gonna die!'. Zoro laughs, and Luffy points and laughs even harder than him.

"Karma, you dumb bitch. "

Usopp wails. "Fine, I'll play Marco-Pineapple or something! "

"Play something normal like The weeknd?!”

"Or Mac DeMarco! " 

"Or Gorillza's! "

... 

Usopp pulls himself off the floor. "Fine, in that order, Zoro, Sanji, and Luffy. "

Zoro scoffs. "Better than stupid minions. "

Zoro stares up at the clouds- and the one he's staring at looks oddly like a cat. "That cloud looks like a cat. "

Luffy looks up. "I don't see it. "

"You aren't looking hard enough. "

Luffy lies down on him, and Zoro feels his heart speed up. Okay- calm down-

"Ohh! I see it! "

... 

"That one looks like Sanji's eyebrow. "

"What the hell did you fucking say-"

...

20 minutes later, the four of them are chowing down on the burgers while the ribs continue to cook. "This is so good I might cry... "

"Don't be dramatic, Luffy. "

"It's true Sanji! My brothers aren’t as god as you at cooking- and I can't cook either! It's so good..."

Zoro looks over and Luffy is basically crying while eating his burger. There's 3 on his plate, plus the one he's devouring. 

Zoro smiles to himself. 

Usopp obviously sees it- because he gives him that stupid look with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

"Okay, your welcome Luffy. "

Luffy finishes his first burger and starts on the next. 

Zoro pulls out his phone and takes a picture- okay- it’s funny- he’s not just being a sap.

~~~

It’s later that night, and he’s full of ribs and burgers. It’s dark, and the fireworks slightly light up his room each time they go off.

Luffy is sitting infront of him, messing around with Enma by touching her belly and pulling back before she can attack him.

“Hey. “

“Hi. “

Luffy looks up at him with a big grin, and Zoro feels his heart melt. Fireworks go off again, big, loud and purple and yellow.

Luffy had already opened his curtain, saying that a free firework show is the best… Zoro hesitantly agreed. 

Zoro stares at Luffy’s face, scanning every inch of brown eyes and a scarred check. 

“You’re beautiful. “

Luffy grins. 

“Eres hermoso. “

“I don’t understand you- “”You’re beautiful.”

Zoro smiles softly- his hand subconsciously places itself onto Luffy’s scarred cheek. 

“How’d it happen? “

“I made a bet as a kid… it really hurt. “

Luffy has his own hand on the scar on his arm- the one Kuina did. “You asked about that one, do you remember? “

Luffy nods, and Zoro rubs his finger along the rough scar under Luffy’s eye. “It was Kuina, we were sword fighting, and she cut me. “

Luffy looks into his eyes. 

“Did you win? “

“No- I lost hard. “

Luffy giggles. Zoro removes his hand, and takes Luffy’s hand into his own. “I think she would’ve liked you. “

“My mama would’ve loved you. Cause you make me happy. “

Zoro feels like he’s gonna cry. 

Okay, too late, he’s already crying. 

“Sorry. “ Luffy grins at him, and wipes the tears from his eyes. What is even making him cry? The warm feeling in his chest? 

“Don’t apologize- it’s okay to cry. “

Zoro doesn’t remember the last time he’s felt like- this. As Luffy wipes away the tears that keep coming, and the fireworks going off light up the room. 

“I love you. “

Luffy smiles, wide. 

“I love you too. “

Zoro releases Luffy’s hand, and falls back onto his bed. 

“I think I wanna be by your side forever. “

Luffy lies down next to him. Luffy takes his hand and traces down the bones. It makes his heart feel so warm, and giddy, and whatever other word describes happiness. 

“I’d like that. “

Zoro pulls up the cover, and Enma walks over to make her spot lying in between the both of them. 

“Goodnight, Luffy. “

“Shishishi, goodnight Zoro. “

~~~

Zoro wakes up with a grumpy Enma at his head, Luffy basically bear hugging him while sleeping, and the sound of people.

He blinks, and then sits up to see Sabo, Ace, Sanji and Usopp mumbling to themselves- pointing cameras.

“Fucking… fuck off. “

Zoro collapses back into his bed, and promptly falls back asleep.

“Oh my god- Luffy is gonna be the first to get married out of the two of us. “ Ace pales. 

Sabo blinks. “Fuck- you’re right. “

Sanji scoffs. “That doesn’t mean that they’re together. “

Usopp nods. “Yeah, Zoro and Luffy are just like that. “

Sabo and Ace exchange a look. “We know our little brother. They’ll be together in less than a month. “

“Fine, anymore time than that and I’ll cook for you both for a month. “

“Deal. “ The three shake on it, and Usopp laughs. 

“What do we get if we win? “

Ace and Sabo sigh, “100 dollars. Each. “

Usopp grins. “It’ll be a pleasure when we win. “

The four laugh their way out of Zoro’s room.

Luffy definitely heard all of it. Did they seriously all just bet on him and Zoro getting together…?!?

Chapter Text

The lowering sun casts a orange glow through his room. There's sweat built up under his knees, and he can feel his armpits building up sweat- and his room is icky and warm. 

Enma is cuddled into his legs, and his laptop is playing some song he forgot the name of. 

Zoro sighs. He runs a hand through his hair, and stares up at the gay flag on his ceiling.

Okay. His crush on Luffy, it's time to unpack that. He shoved it away at that Columbian restaurant, and ignored it up till now. 

He thinks of the first day he meet Luffy, and up to now. 

Today is the first time in awhile where he hasn't spent all day talking, or hanging out- just being with Luffy. 

The Patrick pijama pants stare at him from the floor, bunched up and dirty because he can't stop fucking wearing them. He washes them every week, and wears them till he can't stand the itchy feeling because he's sentimental. 

He thinks of the party, and the bachata or whatever it was called- where Luffy's hands were all over him and his were all over Luffy- when his cheeks were stained pink and his heart wouldn't stop being loud and beating so hard. Because he has an obnoxious crush on Luffy. 

Zoro curses at himself, because why can't he just not like-like his best friend? 

He shifts his legs, and Enma angrily meows in complaint. 

"Sorry girl. "

She adjusts, and he lets out a yawn.

He thinks of him and Luffy lying on his bed, shoulder to shoulder, high out of their minds. 

When Luffy called him pretty. And beautiful.

He feels his heart jump and spike, because no one has ever called him pretty or beautiful before Luffy. He puts a hand to his face, and tries to hold back his smile. 

He fails, of course. 

He shifts again. Enma angrily gets up and lies away from him. He scoffs, and sits up. He thinks of July 4th and 3rd, when he wouldn't stop doing stupid shit because all he wants to do is reach out and hold Luffy close. 

He cringes. But maybe Luffy liked it- because Luffy would grin at him and if he looked close enough on tanned skin he would see pink cheeks. But he didn't look, obviously.

He thinks of when he traced over that scar on his cheek, and when Luffy's fingers traced over his own scars. The ones caused from his harsh training back at the dojo, and the one caused by Kuina.

It was a warm in his room, just like now, and it was dark. Just the light from the fireworks shinning through his window.

He thinks of the exchanged 'I love you's'. Thinking about it, he's only ever said that to other people like twice in his whole life. Maybe Luffy was right, he has an odd affect on people.

He even told Luffy about fucking Kuina.

He thinks, for a second, that she would've liked Luffy. He already told Luffy that- but it stings so bad to know that she didn’t get to meet him. 

And then he thinks about something else, anything else because thinking about her hurts because it had a bitter end.

He looks down at his phone, and the stupid wallpaper of Luffy doing that pouty face at fucking Costco. He smiles, and decides that his crush is okay.

Maybe it'll go away.

And maybe it's wishful thinking, but he hopes that maybe Luffy feels the same-

His phone starts to ring, and he fucking jumps before picking up.

"Hello...? " his voice is groggily and rough, because he had just woken up from a 4 hour nap like 30 minutes ago. To be honest, he only got of bed once to feed Enma. And pee, because he couldn't hold it anymore...

"Hey Zoro! " 

He can hear the grin through Luffy's voice. He smiles softly.

"Hey Luffy. " he hopes Luffy doesn't ask to hangout, because he's fucking out of it today and he doesn't think he can.

"I have a question, " Luffy pauses. He can hear the scuffling around on the other end of the phone. "Okay, my question, can boys really not get pregnant? "

Zoro blinks. "Huh...?"

"Do boys get pregnant? "

"Uhhh, if you're trans yeah. "

"So they do. "

"No- no, If you're born a boy you can't get pregnant. "

Luffy gasps. "Really!?! "

"Did you... did you not know that? "

Zoro frowns. This is the fucking idiot he has a crush on?!

But... maybe Zoro likes that Luffy is a fucking moron. 

"No! Ace told me that boys get pregnant from sex! " Luffy groans, "Is it really not true? Law told me it wasn't- and he's like a doctor- but I wanted you to tell me. "

Zoro does not find that endearing-"Yeah, boys don't get pregnant. How did you just find this out? "

Luffy sighs. "Because in the family groupchat, I told Law to be careful and not get Jaggy pregnant! He thought I was joking, but I wasn't! And then he taught me Sex Ed again.”

Luffy giggles. "Maybe I should've paid attention to that during school... "

"Yeah, maybe you should've you idiot. "

Zoro smiles, and stares down at his hands. 

"Are you okay? You sound sad, Zoro. “

Zoro blinks. "Huh...? Uh, yeah, I'm fine. "

He's really not. He feels like shit, and he doesn't know why, but that's the perks of being a human. 

Luffy frowns. And then there's a yell, and laughing in the distance. "Ace, get out of my room! You lied to me! "

"Haha! You really didn't know I lied to you about that boys can get pregnant!?! " 

"No! I didn't! Now get out, I'm talking to Zoro! "

Ace laughs more, and slams the door shut. "Sorry, Ace is a fucking butthole. "

Zoro laughs. "Butthole? "

"Yeah. A stupid, idiot, moron, dumbass, cabrón butthole. "

Zoro laughs, and Luffy giggles. "But he's my brother, so I still love him. "

They both go comfortably silent. 

"Do you have any siblings? "

Zoro blinks. He thinks of Kuina, and that annoying Perona back at the foster home when he was 12. "I guess? "

"Tell me, tell me. "

Zoro lies back down onto his bed. "I already told you about Kuina- but there was this annoying girl who always bothered me. Her name was Perona."

Luffy giggles. "What happened with her? "

Zoro shrugs. "I don't know? One day she grew up and I never heard from her again.”

"Oh. Maybe you should try and find her again. "

Zoro scoffs. "And be tormented to her insane requests?... maybe. I don't know where I would start. "

Luffy hums. "Okay, I found her. "

Zoro blinks. "Huh?! "

"On insta- does she have pink hair? "

Yeah. She did. "Yeah? "

"Okay, yeah, she has like... 320 thousand followers! Holy shit! "

He gets a text on his phone, and it's the link to her Instagram. He hesitantly opens it and... "She looks the fucking same. "

Luffy laughs, "She has a dog! An ugly chihuahua!"

Zoro scrolls, and sees the little brown dog with a blue hat. "God, you're right. It's ugly. "

"Are you gonna message her? "

Zoro stares at her emo-girl-punk aesthetic account. Or ‘goth’ as she always insisted it was. Well... what's the worst that can happen? 

"Yeah. "

He types out a 'hey it's Zoro from that shitty foster home.' ... he thinks that's a good enough message. 

"She posted you! You look so little-""Shut up, she didn't..." 

Luffy laughs while Zoro looks at the picture horrified. "She fucking did. "

"She captioned it idiot little brother! " Luffy laughs harder, and Zoro blushes because all the comments are sweet and because it got 400,000 likes... 

"I'm gonna fight her. "

Luffy laughs harder, and Zoro smiles. 

His door opens. "Sanji- learn how to fucking knock! "

"No, I'll never respect your privacy. Dinner is gonna be ready soon. “

Sanji closes the door again. 

"I've never heard you call Sanji... Sanji. "

"It's this long gag we have going on. " Zoro grins, "My favorite is Prince of Moronica. "

Luffy laughs. "That's good! "

Zoro smiles.

He regrets a lot of things, but he doesn't think Luffy could ever be one them.

"Do you have roblox? "

"No. What is that? "

"A game, idiot Zoro. Let's play. "

Zoro ignores the insult. "Okay, sure, let's fucking play. "

...

They stayed up till 4 am talking and playing, because they're both unemployed losers who can't go one day without talking to each other.

But, Zoro can deal with that if he can wake up to still being on the call and hearing Luffy loudly snore. 

He smiles to himself.

He fears he might be in love- but he just goes back to sleep.

Chapter Text

"Luffy, don't open the door for anyone-""I'm not a kid anymore, Ace. "

Ace frowns, but nods. "I know, you just can't be trusted alone. "

Luffy almost slams the door in Ace's face, but doesn't, because he loves his brother. "Don't forget to pick up Sabo from the airport, okay?" 

"Okay! Don't forget to not be late-""Shit, you're right! Fucking, " Ace pulls his brother into a hug, "Okay, bye, love you. "

Ace dashes out the house, and Luffy laughs before shutting the door. 

"Okay, now I'm alone. "

Luffy collapses on the couch and stares at the tv. 12:30 pm. Sabo needs to be picked up at 4... 

Luffy pulls out his phone, deciding that he would rather not be alone. 

Me: zorooooooooooo 

Me: are you busy

Mossy: uhhh nah why

Me: Wanna hang out

Me: at my house

Me: because I'm lonely and bored 

Mossy: yeah, I'll be over 

Mossy: gimme like 20 

Luffy grins, and slams his phone down on the couch. Honestly- this whole crush on your bestfriend isn't that bad. Minus when Zoro does ridiculous things that make his heart beat out of his chest like holding his hand or hugging him or call him captain with that warm voice-

Luffy blinks. 

Okay, it's bad. Especially when he doesn't know if Zoro like-likes him back- and he wants to tell Zoro so bad but for some reason he's scared. 

He thinks of his friends back at his old home, and realizes he's never ever had a crush on any of them. "Fuck. "

Maybe he'll ask Vivi- or Rebecca- but maybe not. 

Boredom hits him full strike again, and he groans. Maybe he should get a job already- he could ask Shanks to get him a job at his diner-

The door opens, and Zoro stares at him. "Hey. "

"Hi. "

Zoro walks in and tosses a plastic bag on the counter. "What's in there? "

"My spy equipment. "

"You're a spy?!? "

Zoro grins, and falls back onto the couch next to him. "Nah, I wish. I'd probably never have to worry about money again. "

Zoro looks around the house. It looks clean, and very empty. "How often are your brothers home anyway? "

Compared to Zor-Uso-San household who are always fucking home because they have no lives, Luffy's house always seems to be empty. 

"Not very often. They always have to work now- especially Sabo! He's gone for days at a time- what kind of office job does that? "

Zoro blinks. "Are you sure your brother even has a office job? " Zoro looks at the tv that's playing some fish show... he could really go for some sushi right now... "We should order sushi. "

"That's what he told he and Ace! But he spent like... 2 years training after he graduated high school. Must be tough work. " Luffy pouts, "We should. Sabo said I can use his card to order food- cause he's never home. "

Zoro grins, "Okay. Let's order sushi. "

Zoro opens his phone and pulls up Uber eats, and Luffy leans over his shoulder to watch. "I want lobster sushi. "

"That shit is expensive. "

"But I'm hungry. "

Zoro rolls his eyes and adds it to the cart. "What should I get? "

"Your favorite sushi. "

Zoro stares at the menu and hesitantly adds a dragon roll. "Dragon is my dad's name. "

Zoro blinks- "Huuuh?! What the hell? "

Luffy stares. "What? Is that weird? "

"Your dad's name is Monkey D. Dragon. "

Luffy nods as if this is a normal occurrence. Zoro blinks- he doesn't even know his parents name though, so maybe they do have something absolutely ridiculous like Olive-Butter Roronoa.

Zoro swears right there and then to never think of that name again.

Zoro shrugs. "Okay, sure. "

"I'm not lying! "

"Hey- I know. I believe you. " Zoro scrolls through the menu, "Do you want something else?"

"Order California rolls! And Miso ramen..."

"Okay... there. Should I pay-""No, Sabo will." Luffy bounces off the couch and looks around the kitchen. "Okay! I got it! His card! " 

Luffy throws it without a care and Zoro catches it (just barely). "Speaking of spies, maybe your brother is one? "

Zoro says it as a joke- but Luffy makes a face. "Oh my god. I think you're right. " Luffy collapses onto the couch next to him, and watches as Zoro puts his card into the app. "One day he came home with a gun shot wound. "

Zoro blinks. "What the hell...? "

"And it would make sense why he hasn't just moved somewhere by himself- because he makes a lot of money... "

"Shit, I guess his secret is out. "

"I'm gonna ask him later... I have to pick him up from the airport. Wanna come with me? "

"Shit, now? "

"No, no. Later. "

Zoro shrugs. He had literally nothing to do today, so why not go to the stupid airport? "Yeah, okay. I'll go. "

Luffy grins, and lays his head onto Zoro's shoulder without thinking... and Zoro hesitantly wraps an arm around Luffy's shoulder. 

And his heart is beating out of his chest. 

God, woah. Has Luffy always been so pretty?

Yes, Zoro, he has. 

...'why am I fighting with myself...?' He thinks to himself, before turning his attention to the tv cause his brain is annoying. 

And the two stay like that, watching the insane fishing show in awe because how can anyone just do that? Zoro decides that he would rather never decide. 

"Is that what it's like to be a pirate? "

"I guess. "

"Awesome... wanna sail out to the Bermuda Triangle and be pirates? "

Zoro scoffs. "Be serious, we'll fucking die. "

Luffy pouts. And then pumps his fist out, "Some stupid triangle won't kill me! "

"You can't swim. "

"That's why you'll save me, duh. "

Zoro grins. If anyone who knew him were here they'd see the utter fondness in the soft look he gives Luffy- because he turns into putty at anything and everything the dumbass says to him.

"Okay, always, Captain. "

Luffy giggles, and then the door is pounded on. 

Luffy excitedly gets up to pick up their food, and returns with a huge grin as he holds the two bags. "I'm so hungry... "

"Me too... "

Luffy takes the fishing show off and scrolls through Netflix while Zoro unboxes the food. "What do you wanna watch? "

"Uhh, like... " Zoro looks up and makes eye contact with 'A silent voice'. "That. "

Luffy shrugs. "Okay, it looks cute. "

Zoro tries to pay attention to the movie, but the way Luffy is holding those chopsticks is too distracting. Who taught him that...? 

"Luffy, like this. " Zoro reaches over, and adjusts the chopsticks. Luffy stares confused.

"I thought I was supposed to stab the food? "

"No, you pinch the food. "

Luffy nods and... "I'm just gonna use a fork. "

Zoro chuckles, and turns his attention back to the movie. It doesn’t seem all that sweet...

"That little kid is a jerk. "

"Tell me about it. "

...

It's probably half way through the movie when Zoro is laying on top of Luffy, empty food containers abandoned and pushed to the side of the coffee table.

Honestly, he doesn't know why he decided to lie on top of Luffy, but it's comfortable. 

and it sets his heart on fire-

"Poor Nishimiya... " 

Luffy's fingers run through his hair, and Luffy hums. The movie is more... intense than he thought it would be. He was expecting some classic high school love story, but...

Luffy sniffles. 

"Are... are you crying Luffy? "

"N-no! No, I'm not! "

Luffy sniffles again, and Zoro smiles. "Okay, fine, I am... it's sad, okay!?! "

...

By the time the movie ends, both of them are crying messes and it's 3:40, so, crying and all, the two have to get up and make it to the airport on time to pick up Sabo.

Luffy throws the two bags of empty food containers away with tears rolling down his face. It's cute, but Zoro is also crying. Like, a lot. 

Zoro blows his nose into a paper towel. 

"That was so sad... and happy. "

Zoro tosses the paper towel away and wipes at his tears. "Yeah, I thought it would just be a cute movie... "

Luffy wipes at his tears and picks up the car keys from the counter. "C'Mon, we have to go! Or Sabo will give me something else to cry about..."

Zoro doesn't wanna know what Luffy means by that, so he follows behind Luffy. "Who's car is this? " 

Zoro gets into the passengers seat of a gray suv, and it's surprisingly tidy inside. "Sabo's. It's electric. "

Zoro blinks. How much money does Sabo make!?! 

"Do you... uh, actually think he might be a s-p-y?"  Maybe it's just him, but it feels weird to call someone a spy in an electric car... 

They could be listening. 

Zoro mentally slaps himself. When did he become a wuss?! 

Luffy shrugs. "Maybe, we should just ask him. There's a lot of signs pointing to yes though..."

Zoro leans back into the seat and stares at the aux cord. "Wanna play something? I can't, cause I'm driving. "

Zoro has been wanting to listen to Avril Lavigne... "Okay, yeah. " 

Sk8 Boi comes on and Zoro doesn't have it in him to be embarrassed, because Luffy grins wildly. "I love this song. "

"Me too. "

The chorus comes up, and two scream out the lyrics while Luffy drives towards the airport...

Well, he's sure the airport is the other way, but whatever.

~~~

Okay, he was wrong. The airport was infact the way Luffy was going. 

And now, the two wait for Sabo to show up. Zoro honestly has only been to the airport like... twice in his whole life. 

Because Sanji wanted to curse out his 'family', and he just had to tag along, obviously. 

Zoro stares out his window and feels kind of weird seeing all the families and friends reunite. Honestly, it's a fucking sight to behold. He never had anything like this growing up, he realizes. 

Like... never. 

Sure, getting back from Sanji's mission to denounce his family and Zeff welcoming them with a smile- but that's not his family.

Zoro reaches up and traces over his earrings. 

Kuina is probably the only like... genuine family he's ever felt like he had. Perona too- but he hasn’t seen her since he was like 16… she did respond to his text though, and they had a pretty fun conversation.

Zoro looks over at Luffy, who's typing away at his phone. 

"Sabo is getting out now... but I don't believe him."

"Why not? " Zoro laughs slightly, and leans back into his seat.

"Dunno, I can just feel it. He definitely just landed. "

...

20 minutes go by, and Luffy was right. Sabo came running out with a smile and a duffel bag thrown over his shoulder. 

Luffy grins and lowers the window. 

"Luffy! "

"Sabo! It's been so long! "

Sabo grins eagerly and opens the door to the back. The duffel bag is thrown in without a care and Sabo pulls Luffy into this awkwardly positioned hug. 

"How's my favorite little brother? "

"I'm your only little brother! " 

Sabo grins and presses a kiss to his brothers head before collapsing into the back. "I know, that's why you're my favorite. "

Luffy grins. 

"Hey Zoro. "

"Oh, yeah, uh hey. "

Sabo yawns. "Don't be so awkward... anyway, I had a rough flight, goodnight. "

Zoro blinks and the blonde is already fucking asleep. 

Zoro looks over at Luffy, who's already started to drive again. "I'm his favorite. "

"I heard. "

"Wanna get ice cream on the way home? "

Zoro smirks. "Of course I do. "

~~~

Luffy pulls back into their designated parking spot and takes the spoon from Zoro. "I can finally eat my ice cream with my own hands... "

Zoro had to feed him the ice cream with a spoon, cause driving safely is important. Sabo chuckles and tsk's. 

"Get home first, Luf. " Sabo exists the car. Luffy groans before shutting off the car and following. 

"Sabo, where'd you go? "

Sabo takes a bite of his ice cream and holds up a finger. "Somewhere. "

"Okay, where? "

Sabo thinks of how he just spent the last 5 days sneaking around a world leader's mansion searching for ilegal business and found worst. He shudders. "Uh, Turkey. Business. "

He wasn't actually in Turkey. He hates lying to his brothers but... he doesn't really have a choice. 

Luffy makes a face. 

Zoro blinks. Sabo is a terrible liar for an assumed spy. Did they get this front their mom!?! 

"Okay. I believe you. "

Zoro is in disbelief now. Luffy is also a terrible liar. 

The get into the house and Zoro considers just going home now, but Luffy turns around and smiles at him to come along... so he does. 

At home, Ace is lying on the couch with a bag of ice on his face and lap. 

"What the hell happened to you?! "

Ace grins through a bloody smile and a forming black eye, Jesus, what the hell happened to him!?! 

"Nothing. "

Another horrible liar. 

Sabo flicks his forehead and sits down next to his brother. "What happened dumbass? "

Ace waves at Zoro, and Zoro hesitantly waves back before sitting on the orange love seat couch. 

Luffy joins him and stares at his brother. 

"Old man sent me home. " 

Sabo scoffs and makes his way to the kitchen for the first aid kit. "But why? " Luffy asks, and Ace points to his busted face. 

"Cause I got my ass handed to me. "

"They usually fire you after a fight. " Zoro knows from experience... fucking Costco. 

Ace grins. "Nah, it's something we do at the station. Old man said I'm too hurt to work today and sent me fuckin' home... Fucking- Sabo! "

Zoro snickers at Sabo rubbing disinfectant over the small cut on Ace's cheek. "I come home from work just to do more work... " Sabo mutters.

Ace grumbles. "Cállate. "

Sabo digs his heel into Ace's foot, earning a yelp and more Spanish curses. "Sabo, you fucking bitch! Stop, stop! I'm sorry, STOP! "

Sabo hums and lifts his boot off. "Respect your brother. "

"I'll never respect you, you are the middle brother.- no, No! NO! Not again. "

Sabo laughs, and Ace shoves him away. 

Zoro holds back his laugh and turns his attention to his ice cream. He'd totally forgotten about his mint-ie-Delight ice cream... to be honest. 

Okay, no it's not cannibalism to eat other green foods.

"Wanna come to my room? "

"Okay, sure. "

"Bye Ace, Bye Sabo! "

The two brothers watch as the pair disappear into Luffy's room, and both sigh. Ace wonders if Dadan would like Zoro- before deciding she probably would. she liked his ex’s (minus that one)- so, he assumes that she’d love Zoro.

"He's growing up. "

"I know. "

"Makes me sad, oddly enough. "

Ace puts the bag of ice back to his eye and frowns. "Tell me about it... " 

...

"Wanna order food? "

Sabo nods eagerly. "Hell yeah, I'm fucking starving. "

"Pizza? "

...

"Pizza. 

Chapter Text

Zoro stares down at his phone with a grin. Finally, after like 26 job applications someplace finally accepted him. 

"Fuck, finally. "

Luffy looks up from the nails he's painting. Yes, Luffy is painting his nails, what about it? 

"What? "

"I got a fucking job, finally. "

Luffy grins, and puts down the nail polish to his right. "Really? Where? " Luffy looks down at his phone and snickers.

Zoro rolls his eyes. "Build a bear. "

"I saw, Shishishi, " Zoro ignores the idiotic giggles "Does that mean we can't hang out all the time anymore? "

"Didn't you get a job too, idiot? Plus, we can just hang out when we're free. " okay, he's definitely gonna miss spending every moment with Luffy, but they can just hang out after work... and days off...

It's fine, he's not (totally is) a little freaked out over the complete shift in his daily schedule. 

Luffy frowns. "Yes... I start on Monday, " Luffy looks down at his hands. "I don't wanna, maybe I should quit. "

"Why? You haven't even started yet." Zoro sends back a quick 'Thank you for this opportunity' to his new boss and clicks off his phone. "We work at the same mall, anyway."

Luffy leans his head onto Zoros shoulder, and sighs. "I dunno, it means I'm growing up. "

Zoro blinks. "Yeah, but that's good, isn't it?”

"I guess. If I can be with you, it's good. " Zoro's heart practically leaps out his chest with that... god, is he gonna have a heart attack?! 

Zoro's phone dings again, effectively stopping that train of thought. "My boss says I gotta go get a free bear and the uniform. "

Luffy continues to his job on Zoro's nails, and Zoro is scared to look at them because Luffy has mumbled way to many Spanish curse words.

Like, a concerning amount. 

"Can I come too? "

"Duh, hurry up so the mall doesn't close. "

Luffy huffs. "Art takes time, anyway, I'm done now. " Zoro hesitantly looks down and expects a mess all over his hands but... it's neat and nice. 

"Wow, you actually did good... "

Luffy beams, and then gets up to shove his crocs on. "Okay, let's go! "

Zoro smiles and shoves his phone into his pocket (attempting not to ruin his new nails). "Can we take your brothers car? Usopp's at work."

Luffy turns around with a smirk. "I already took his key in the morning, shishishi! "

Zoro grins, and the two dash out the house. 

Sanji stares at the door that was slammed behind them and scoffs. "Merry, can you believe them? Disrespecting our house. "

Merry barks in agreement. 

Sanji can't believe he's talking to a dog. 

~~~

"I'm just saying- I'd wanna come back as a clam."

"Again, why?! " 

Luffy shrugs and parks into the only empty parking spot in the whole damn mall... okay, not really, but it feels that way. "Do you think I can get a bear too? "

"Did you bring money? "

Luffy nods. "Then yeah. "

The pair exist the car, and shit is it fucking hot.

"Give me your employee discount. "

"I haven't even started yet?! " Zoro rolls his eyes and looks away. The mall is pretty busy, like it always is. Fucking Florida. 

Luffy hums. "Okay, I'll just woe your boss into giving me a free bear. "

Zoro stares blankly. "You're gonna get me fired before I even start working. "

Luffy huffs. "Am not, I'm very charming. " Luffy proudly puts his hands to his hips, puffing his chest out. Zoro can't help but snicker. 

"Okay, relax Prince Charming. "

"It's Captain Charming to you. "

Zoro smirks, "Alright, aye, aye Captain. "

Luffy grins, and the pair enter the mall. This mall was stupidly huge. 3 floors of capitalism and the nightmares of retail. The movie theater is right in the middle, with two separate arcades on each side of it. 

"Awesome, arcades! "

"Don't fall for it. It's a fucking scam. " he knows, he got high and spent 127 dollars trying to win a stupid Bleach themed teddy bear... okay, maybe that was all his fault. 

He also got lost in the bright lights of endless arcade machines and claw machines. Sanji and Usopp found him half to tears at the back, holding his bear close. 

He hasn't lived that down yet.

"Maybe you're just bad. "

Zoro huffs. "Shut up. Probably. "

Luffy tugs on his hand. "Build a bear is that way. There's a sign. "

Zoro blinks, and then looks up to see the sign. Okay, embarrassing. "I knew that. " no, he did not.

Luffy smirks at him. "Sure, sure. I might have to hold your hand the rest of the way, so that you don't get lost. "

Zoro nods. And stumbles behind Luffy as they walk towards the build a bear. "So, what kind of bear will you get? "

Zoro shrugs. "I don't know. Maybe one that looks like you. "

Luffy grins. "Little Monkey D. Jr. " 

Zoro smiles, "Yeah, it'll be our son. What does D stand for, anyway? "

Luffy turns to him, and gives him a blank stare. He's about to answer when a blonde haired girl greets them at the entrance. "Hey, welcome to build-a-bear! "

Zoro stares at the girl- 'Carrot' - her name tag reads. "Uh, yeah, hey. I'm gonna start working here- ""Zoro, right?! " okay, pretty preppy for someone working in retail. 

Especially at this hell-hole mall. He knows from experience working at the stupid Hollister. 

He quit 5 months after being hired. He just… couldn’t. Maybe Build-A-Bear attracts less asshole customers, though.

"Yeah, that's me. " 

She grins at him. "Okay, feel free to build your bear however you want! Is that your boyfriend?"

Zoro blinks. "Uh- yeah. "

"Sweet! He can get a bear too, for free. Don't tell headquarters though... "

Luffy smiles, "Yeah, this secret is safe with us! "

She smiles, before turning her attention to other customers. Zoro is not blushing from the boyfriend comment- he doesn't even know why he agreed! 

He turns his attention to the wall of destuffed bears. He scans the rows of bears, unsure of which one he wants. 

Luffy messes with Zoro's fingers. "So... boyfriend? "

Zoro tries not to turn 79 shades of red. "Yeah, so you can get a free bear. " okay, you can play this off. 

Luffy shuffles slightly- "Do you uh... wanna be real boyfriends? "

Zoro swears his heart leaps out of his chest, and his stomach turns into pure mush. "Yeah- I'd really like that. "

Luffy smiles, probably the biggest smile ever. "Okay, boyfriend, let's pick some bears. "

Luffy happily looks at the bears, and Zoro is still a little stunned at what just happened.

Okay.

Okay, so... he's dating Luffy now. 

He decides to think that over later. "That brown bear kinda looks like you. "

Luffy looks at it and furrows his brows. "No it doesn't. "

"Uhh- yes it does. Just needs a scar, and prettier eyes. "

Luffy giggles. "Okay, but it's plain. Get something cool, like a dinosaur. "

Zoro looks across all the bears, but maybe he does want something plain. He's pretty sure he has to carry it around all day anyway. "What're you gonna get? " Zoro picks up the Luffy-Bear and follows Luffy around the wall of bear-corpses.

"I dunno. Maybe something ugly. "

Luffy stares at a Harry Potter bear. "Do you like Harry Potter? "

"I'm not a fucking- excuse me, " He looks around at all the disgruntled parents... oops, "freaking nerd. No. "

Luffy smiles. "Okay, good, Ace made me hate it. "

"How? "

"He chased me around with a stick and yelled spells for 3 years until I beat the shi-crap out of him. " 

Zoro can't help but laugh at the story, and Luffy grimaces at the memories. "Okay, this dinosaur is cool! " Luffy holds up a Red-Raptor sort of thing and grins. "Her name will be Stacy. "

"Doesn't look very Stacy-ie. " 

Luffy shakes his head. "No, it's a Stacy. "

"More like a... Bartolomew. " 

"Hmm... okay, she'll be a Bartolomew Stacy. "

Zoro's okay with that, and looks at the line for the bear-stuffing part. Honestly, this store is kind of freaky when you think about it. Grabbing a lifeless-bear body, and then stuffing it and bringing it to 'life'. 

And if you pay extra, cute clothing and accessories! 

Zoro shudders. "So, what does D. stand for? "

Luffy stares at him blankly again. "Gramps said he'll tell me when I get married. "

Zoro thinks that over in his head. "He thought it would never happen, but we'll prove him wrong."

Zoro's heart pangs at the we'll. He's glad that Luffy wants to be stuck with him too. "Can't wait."

He smiles, and Luffy smiles back at him. 

They're next to get their bears stuffed, and the employee with a green mohawk-mullet hybrid stares at them, a pointy smile. "Okay, how do you want it stuffed? "

He assumes there should be more enthusiasm, but maybe dealing with children and parents all day isn't exactly thrilling or relaxing. 

"Really soft! " Luffy hands over his raptor and the guy- he gasps, Bartolomeo... 

Luffy seems to notice the guys name too, "Y'know, I'm naming that dinosaur Bartolomew Stacy. "

The guy snickers. "What an ugly name. How can you do that too a bear? "

Luffy puffs his chest out, "I'll do it proudly.”

"Pssh, okay, yeah. Pick your heart, and kiss it. “

Luffy picks some spotted heart and happily blows a kiss to it. Zoro watched as the guy- Bartolomeo effortlessly stitches up the Raptor after Luffy places the heart into it. 

It's impressive. He hopes he's not on this duty when he starts. 

"Okay, go give it a bath. If you want, whatever your into… Stacy’s Dad. “

Luffy laughs, then looks at Zoro before running off to the bear bath station. Zoro struggles not to find it endearing as hell. “Are you that new guy? "

"Yeah, that's me. "

"Okay, cute boyfriend. "

Zoro smirks. "Yeah, He's a real catch. "

Bartolomeo takes the bear. "How do you want it?"

"Medium, I guess. " 

While Bartolomeo stuffs his bear, he takes a look at the bear on the guys back. "What's up with your bear? Looks stupid. " he stares at the yellow bear with a rose stitched to its head, and a idiotic purple and white cape.

The guy makes a face. "My boyfriend is a dick. Anyway, pick a heart. "

Zoro picks a shiny one and kisses it before placing it into his bear. "Is it supposed to look like him? "

"Yes. He stayed up all night sewing it just to be all petty. "

Zoro laughs. "Zoro, are you done yet? " 

Zoro glances at Luffy, and then back to Bartolomeo. "Yeah man, here's your bear. "

Zoro takes it and walks over to Luffy. "Okay, let's pick Monkey D. Jr's outfit out. "

"Stacy isn't gonna get one? "

"No, she's a streaker, " Luffy looks at the isles of clothing, as if what he said is a normal thing everyday people say. 

"I'm gonna scold her, streaking is bad. "

Luffy giggles. "Raptors are too cool for clothes anyway! "

"How about overalls? " Zoro picks up the pair and stares at them. "Real denim! "

At least, it feels like real denim. 

maybe the worker bears at the Build-A-Bear and Co factories have a secret recipe to creating perfect fake denim- 

Luffy nods, "Yes, yes, and this red vest. "

It's a hideous outfit, Zoro thinks, but it matches Monkey D. Jr perfectly. "It's... "

"Perfect. " they both say at once. 

"Wow, cute! " Zoro almost screams at Carrot's voice behind him. Where did she even come from!?! 

"Yeah, Monkey D. Jr is super cute. "

Carrot grins. "Okay, make the birth certificates and meet me at the register. "

Birth certificates?! This place is crazy...

~~~

The two leave the mall with free two bears, Zoro's new work uniform, and a green and blue bear-backpack. 

Luffy’s hand is intertwined with his, and the sun is fucking bright as shit. But… he’s pretty happy. Obviously though, he’s been crushing on Luffy since like… probably the first time he hung out with him. 

It’s kind of wild to him, honestly, he half expected unrequited feelings-

“What’re you thinkin’ about? “

“You. “

Luffy nods, and looks at him with a smile. “I’m thinking about you too, honestly. “

They get back to Sabo’s electric car, and Zoro is thankful to be out of the blistering sun. Fucking Florida. 

Luffy starts the car up then laughs. “What?”

“My brothers, and Sanji and Usopp bet on how long it’d take for us to get together. “

Zoro scoffs. “Of course they did… who won? “

He wants Luffy’s brothers to win so bad, because Sanji and Usopp don’t deserve to rub that in his face. 

“My brothers. Like- barely. If we waited 3 more days, Sanji and Usopp would’ve won.”

Zoro smiles. “Thank Fuck. I’d hate for them to win. “

Luffy smiles, and it looks like he’s thinking something over in his head. His eyes dart between the wheel and Zoro lips-

“Do you want to- like kiss me? “

Luffy lets out a noise, and nods. “Yeah- can I?”

Zoro can’t help but smile. 

“Yeah. “

Without another second, Luffy sits up and kisses him gently on the lips. Wow, chapped. Like… really chapped. It’s not like his aren’t either, though…

But, it makes him giddy and happy anyway. 

Then the car pulls out of the parking space, and Luffy has a giant smile. 

Zoro stares for a little more, and then sits back. He pulls Monkey D. Jr closer, hugging his-their son close. 

His stupid smile doesn’t leave his face for like… the rest of the day.

~~~

Sanji and Usopp are chewing his ear off once he tells them that night, long after Luffy had gone home for the day. 

“Ugh, will you two shut up? “

“I expected I needed to more meddling before either of you confessed! “ Usopp looks ashamed of himself. “I was so ready for so much pinning that i would explode! “

Sanji also seemed furious. “Fuck… now I have to make those two brothers meals everyday for a month. “

Zoro furrows his brows. “I can’t get a congrats? “

Usopp blinks. “Right- yeah, congrats! I can order a cake, yknow… celebrate the big day. “

Zoro thinks he’s being sarcastic for 10 seconds, before Usopp does that stupid eyebrow thing when he’s happy. 

He rolls his eyes. “Shut up, no. Thank you. How about you Dartbrow? Gonna give your bestie a congrats? “

Sanji stares at him for what feels like a minute, before a smile appears on his face. “Congrats, Mossy, you’re finally getting some play! “

Sanji gets up, and then an idiotic grin spreads over his face… 

The scene plays out so fast he doesn’t even know what happened, honestly, all he knows is that a water bottle hits the side of his head (curtsey of Sanji), and then Sanji runs away, laughing his stupid swirly eyebrows off.

“Fucking- Get back HERE!!! “

Usopp falls to the floor laughing, and Zoro can’t help but smile to himself as Sanji attempts to hide behind Merry.

“Fucking idiots… “

Chapter Text

The room has a grey atmosphere from the thunder storm outside. The rain slams against the window, creating background noise. 

Thunder booms through the sky, and Zoro runs his fingers through Luffy's hair. It kind of sucks- they were gonna go on their first date today- and then it started raining. 

But, Luffy seemed pretty happy to just be cuddling in his room with only the noise of rain and the clatter from the kitchen. Bleach plays on his laptop, but he isn't really paying attention. 

Thunder booms again. 

"Do you like the rain? "

Zoro thinks about it for a second, and shrugs. "I dunno. I guess. It's cool sometimes. "

Well, it usually always starts raining when it's inconvenient for him. 

"I like it. It's calming. "

Zoro hums, "Yeah. How about hurricanes? "

"Hurricanes are cool. But dangerous. " Luffy laughs, and it makes his heart flutter. "One time, there was a hurricane and Ace went out in his swim suit and a floatie! "

Luffy giggles uncontrollably before continuing, "He got lost, and Dadan had to go get him. She was so mad- she took away all the floaties and didn't let him out her sight again. "

Zoro grins. "He sure does a lot of stuff. "

"Yeah, he's an idiot. "

Thunder booms again, and Luffy sits up to look at him. "What? "

"Can I kiss you? Like- a lot. " 

Zoro's heart flutters again- "Yeah- I'd like that. A lot. " 

Luffy grins, and swings a leg over him to straddle Zoro. "Woah-" Before Zoro can even get a snarky remark out, Luffy already bent down to kiss him. A hand holds his cheek, gently. 

He stares at closed eyes for a second before closing his own, and kissing back. He brings his hands up, and settles them on Luffy's waist.

Okay- he's definitely not blushing right now.

Luffy smiles into the kiss, and Zoro can't help but smile too.

Thunder strikes again, and there's a clatter and yelp from the kitchen. 

He hears a distant, "Usopp! "

Luffy's lips are softer than he remembered, honestly. The first time they kissed, Luffy had chapped. He loved it, nonetheless.

Zoro pushes him away softly, "You put on chapstick? "

Luffy looks away, "Nooo... "

"Horrible liar. "

"Okay, fine, I did. Do you like it? "

"I like you. " 

Luffy lets out a 'duh', and presses a kiss to Zoro's cheek. And then the other- and then his forehead. "I like you too. "

Zoro grins- and he feels this breezy feeling in his chest as he pulls Luffy back into another kiss. It's hard not to smile into these kisses, when Luffy's right hand roams all over his body, accidentally hitting the spots where he's ticklish. 

Luffy's left hand messes with the earrings on his ear. 

"I do like it, by the way. "

Luffy smiles into the kiss, and then their teeth smack into eachother. "Oi- ow! Don't do that! "

"That was your fault! You made me smile. "

Zoro scoffs. "You tickled me. "

Luffy furrows his brows. "Your ticklish? "

Zoro grimaces. "No- No, I’m not. I swear. "

Luffy grins, and lifts both hands up.

"Hehe-“”Luffy, please... "

Mischief is written all over Luffy's face, and Zoro prepares himself for a tickle attack... 

He's still not prepared when it happens though.

"Oi— Stop! Haha! "

Luffy grins, and doesn't stop. The look of happiness on Zoro's face is too attractive and beautiful for him to want to stop-

Luffy stops though, and goes in for another kiss. He can't help it- even though Zoro's lips are really chapped, he likes it. A lot. 

Loves it, even. 

The kiss deepens, and Zoro's hands gently trace the scar on Luffy’s cheek. He can't help but mess with the golden earrings again-

Thunder booms again. 

And then the door flings open and- "Eek! Sorry!"

"Learn how to knock, you pesky swirly-browed-asshole! "

"I didn't see anything! "

"We aren't doing anything- get out! "

"Fine, I'll knock next time! Dinner is almost ready, by the way, Mosshead and Luffy! "

The door slams shut, and Luffy holds back his laughter for 4 seconds before bursting out into laughter. 

"Ugh... shut up. "

Luffy rolls over onto the other side of the bed and continues to laugh. Zoro covers his mouth with his hand, and holds back his laugh. 

...

"It's not that funny. "

Luffy continues to laugh hysterically. 

Zoro thinks it's probably the most endearing thing ever. Thunder booms again, and Luffy finally stops laughing. 

But, little giggles still escape. 

"Zoro? "

"Mhm? "

"You need chapstick. "

Zoro blinks. And then feels embarrassed- "Ugh, shut up. "

He turns away from Luffy, and pulls the cover up. "Noooo- Zoro, I'm sorry, I like your chapped lips... " Luffy giggles and presses kisses all over his face, hands running down his arm. 

"Zorooooo, don't ignore me. "

Zoro looks at him and smirks. "Okay, I'll forgive you. "

Luffy grins, and covers his face with more kisses.

Honestly, he used to make fun of shit like this (Especially when it was Sanji and his ex-ex-ex girlfriend-) but— he can't help but feel so content and happy with Luffy.

And then he accidentally kicks his laptop, effectively killing the moment with a loud crash. "God, I hope it didn't break... "

He can still hear Bleach playing, but... "Should we go check? "

Zoro sits up and stares at the the laptop, that thankfully fell on top of Luffy's abandoned pijama pants (something about pants being uncomfortable in bed). 

"It's fine. " he reaches over and shuts the laptop. 

Luffy stares at him, and he raises a brow. "What?"

"Nothin'. "

Zoro isn't convinced. 

"Seriously, what? "

"Really, it's nothing! I just... love lookin’ at you. "

Zoro's heart doesn't clench and twist at that sentence- no really, and his tummy doesn't get that butterfly-ish feeling. 

"I love looking at you too. "

Luffy grins. And then his stomach growls... "I'm hungry. "

"Me too. Let's go bother Sanji. "

"Deal. “

Chapter Text

Zoro stands tall and points his sword at Kuina. It's night and dark outside, and he definitely should be back at the foster home, but he's here. 

"You. Fight me. "

She snaps her eyes towards him. "Why should I?"

"Because- I need to beat you. " his English makes him cringe, because back at the foster home they only speak Japanese. He learned English here, and it sucks-

She scoffs. "You're just a kid. You can't beat me."

Zoro stands tall anyway. "You are scared of losing to a kid-""No. I'm not. Just knock it off. "

Zoro tosses a wooden sword her way and she catches it. "I need to be the strongest.”

She stands up. "Fucking fine. "

Zoro gasps at the curse. "You said a bad word." She laughs at him. 

"You want to be the strongest but can't handle a bad word? " She holds her sword up to him and Zoro readies himself. He nods frantically. "Okay, whatever, let's do it then, kid. "

"Zoro. "

"Zoro. Whatever. " 

Zoro is down to the floor in 1 graceful swing. "You lost. I told you so. "

He furrows his brows. "I don't care! I'm gonna beat you and be the strongest! "

"You can try, I guess. "

Zoro gets up and bows. "I'll challenge you every single day! "

He runs home, and hopes that his foster home didn't notice his absence... if he can remember which way home is...? 

~~~

He challenges her every single day. He adds two more swords- anything- because he's desperate to beat her. He has too- because maybe when he is the strongest, mom and dad will come back for him. They'll see he's worth something and come back. 

A 'Good job, son.' 

Zoro furrows his brows as he shoves a rice ball into his mouth. He hears someone sit beside him, and he turns to see Kuina. 

"Relax, the food won't run away. "

"It might. "

She laughs. "Trust me, it won't. " She stares off at her father teaching the other kids. "Why aren't you over there? "

Zoro shrugs. "I got hungry. "

Zoro catches a glimpse of her hands; scarred, beaten and bruised. He stares for a second too long maybe, because she hides her hands and huffs. 

"Why are you hurt? "

She turns away from him. "None of your business. "

"But I wanna know. "

"Training. "

He nods. "Let's fight again. "

Zoro tosses a sword towards her, and she catches it without hesitation. They both stand on the grass, and Kuina knocks him to the floor in 1 swing, but he lasted longer than usual. 

"You got a little better. "

Zoro looks up, she’s smiling, but her eyes look so empty. "Good job. "

Zoro smiles.

~~~

Zoro holds his hand out for the small kitty who is always outside the Dojo. It meows at him, and rubs against his leg. 

"Hi kitty. Do you want food...? "

It meows again, and Zoro places a part of his fish on the floor. He watches quietly as it eats. "What're you doing? "

Zoro jumps slightly at the sound of Koushirou behind him. "Feeding a cat... "

His teacher laughs. "He has a name. That's Yuba." Zoro stares at the dirty black cat. 

"Yuba. " the cat looks up at him. 

"See? Maybe you can become friends with him?"

"I don't need any friends! I just want to be stronger! " 

His teacher frowns. "That will make Yuba sad... "

Zoro looks down at Yuba, who's back to eating the fish. Zoro pouts. "Okay, I'll be friends with Yuba. But thats it! No one else.” Zoro continues eating his food, and Koushirou walks away with a smile. 

"That's fine Zoro, but one day you'll find a few friends. "

Zoro doesn't respond... he's too busy petting Yuba, who's already lied down on his lap for a nap...

He can't train like this, can he? 

~~~

Zoro holds two swords at Kuina, but she looks angry and upset. "Fight me again! "

He's 8 now- he's stronger than he was when he was 7. 

She huffs, and grabs a sword. "You should just fucking stop already. " She points the sword at him, it's fake- it's made of wood- and yet Zoro is scared. Because she looks really angry, and upset. 

"Why are you mad? Did I do something? "

Her knuckles are blue and red, and bloody. Zoro feels the pain as her grip tightens around the sword. "No, you didn't. Just drop it. Let's just fight. "

Kuina is 16- and she is two months away from 17. She isn't getting stronger- she feels like she's getting weaker. 

Zoro is knocked onto the wooden floors in 2 hits- god- she is so weak. She's getting weaker, and Zoro just gets stronger. He gets fucking better, while she struggles to even look at herself in the mirror. 

How much longer can she be the strongest? She used to be praised as a kid, and now she's nothing.

Her father always spouted nonsense about woman being weaker than men. That they shouldn't sword fight. 

She winces. She's starting to believe him.

Zoro looks so scared as she tosses the sword to him, and she stomps out the room. She's weak, and yet he is so scared of her. 

She feels an icky feeling in her chest as she slams the door of the room shut. 

Zoro sits up and holds the sword to his chest, frowning. Yuba meows as he rushes over, licking Zoro's arm softly. 

"I'm okay, Yuba . "

Yuba sits and watches as Zoro trains with three wooden swords. Zoro trains until his arms give out, and his stomach hurts from hunger. He sits on the floor, eating silently while Yuba lies on his lap, happily licking himself.

~~~

Kuina challenges him this time, she holds a real sword to him and demands a fight. "Fight me, Zoro. "

Zoro takes the sword with shaky hands, but stands tall and is ready. "Okay! " 

She is using Wado- and she looks so tired. They trade two hits, before Wado digs into his arm and he tumbles to the floor. She stares with shocked eyes.

There's a lot of blood, he realizes. Like- a lot. 

"I think I'm bleeding...? "

She doesn't say anything as she looks around the room for a first aid kit. 

She drops to her knees infront of him, and Zoro cringes as her knees hit the sharp end of the blade. She doesn't acknowledge it, and shoves Wado away to take care of his arm. 

She is silent, and her hands are steady as she pours alcohol onto his wound. "Ow- ow- fuck!" He winces, and bites his lip until he feels a furry object rub against him, and he feels the tears welling in his eyes. 

Yuba meows. 

Zoro gently pets Yuba. 

"You said a bad word. "

Zoro tries to smile, but the cut hurts and burns. 

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I challenged you with real swords... I'm older than you, I should know better. "

Seriously- what's wrong with her? She's basically 17 now, she has to be better than this.

Zoro gets a look at her arms, full of scars and bruises.

"It's okay. "

"It's not. " Kuina wraps gauge around the wound, over, and over. "Okay... tomorrow I'll change the bandages again. "

Kuina stares at his bandaged arm silently, and Yuba is meowing and purring wildly as Zoro cries quietly. "I'll tell Koushirou-""No! Don't! You'll get in trouble. "

Kuina blinks. "What do you care? I just hurt you-""I don't care! If I want to be the strongest, No one can know! "

Kuina rolls her eyes. "Okay, fine, I won't tell anyone. Only Yuba, You and I know. "

Zoro wipes his tears and nods. "Okay! Pinky promise. "

Kuina sticks her pinky out. 

"Swear. "

"I swear. "

... Kuina stands and looks around the room. "Okay, I'll clean this up. Maybe go home-""No! I don't like home. "

Kuina blinks. This kid will be the fucking death of her. 

"Okay, fine, don't get lost. "

Zoro feels his cheeks warm up. "I don't get lost! "

He huffs as he runs out the room. 

...

Kuina cleans the sword in shame. God- what kind of idiot is she? 

~~~

Zoro kicks his legs back and forth, staring at them silently. The dojo is closed today, but he doesn't wanna go 'home'. Yuba is pressed against his side, and he's kind of hungry, but he'd rather be here then home. 

The bench creaks, and Kuina is there. "The dojo is closed today. "

"I know. "

"Then go home. " Kuina looks at the sky, and her legs are full of scars and bruises, and bandages. Zoro winces. 

"No. Why are you always hurt? " 

She stares down at her battered arms and legs. "It's none of your business. "

It's because she hates herself, really. Because she can't stand the person who looks back at her in the mirror, and she can't stand that she is so weak. 

So she takes it out on herself. 

By training, and training, and training until she falls to her knees and cries- because everything hurts so bad.

"But I want to know. "

She huffs. "Just drop it, asshole. "

Zoro goes quiet, and stares at his own hands. Yuba is purring softly to his side. "Why are you so mean to me? Did I do something to you? Why do you hate me? "

Kuina slaps herself in her head. God, what's wrong with her? Her heart twists. "I don't hate you, I think you're great. "

She just hates herself, but she can't say that to a 8 year old kid. 

"Then why are so mean? "

Kuina turns towards Zoro and sighs. "I dunno. I'm sorry, I'll be nicer. "

Zoro looks down at Yuba and smiles. "Okay. "

Kuina watches the tree and flowers swim with the breeze and breathes. "Are you hungry? "

Zoro nods. "C'mon, let's go eat somewhere. "

Zoro picks Yuba up and follows Kuina towards her car. 

She blinks at Yuba. "You're bringing him...?”

Zoro nods and climbs into the car, Yuba first. "Okay, I'm buckled up. "

Kuina doesn't say anything in response. "How about Taco Bell? "

Zoro agrees.

~~~

School is back, which means less time at the dojo. 

Zoro hates school, it sucks, all the kids pick on him- for his 'accent' and his hair- so he fights back. 

He spends a lot of the time in the office, 'reflecting'...

But today was a bad fight. With some kid named 'Sanji'. They both sit, side by side, angry. 

"You got me in trouble. "

"You started it-""I didn't want you to punch me!"

Sanji huffs, and Zoro pouts. He misses Yuba, and Kuina, and the dojo. The principal stares at them. "Okay, since you both refuse to apologize, I'm calling home.”

The two gasp. "No- don't do that! "

Principal Tsuru shakes her head. "I have too, maybe if you two had behaved, it wouldn't be like this. "

Zoro holds his breath. "My house got a new number. "

She raises a brow. "Oh? "

"Yeah. And this is the new number. " Zoro hands over a crumpled piece of paper with Kuina's number, and hopes that it works. 

She takes and sighs. "Okay, fine. I'll call your home first, Sanji. I know your father is a busy man, I'll hope he can make time to pick you up."

Sanji huffs as she leaves the room with a phone and the crumpled paper.

"This is all your fault. "

"Maybe don't call me Greenie then! " Zoro furrows his brows. 

"I didn't know you didn't like that! Everyone calls you that! " 

"I don't like it! It's fucking mean! " Sanji flinches at the curse, and looks away. Now Zoro feels bad- because Sanji looks scared.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't know. "

Zoro looks down at his fingers. "Okay. I forgive you... I'm sorry for punching you. "

Sanji nods. "I forgive you. "

... "I'm sorry for kicking you in the head. " Sanji giggles, and Zoro huffs. 

And laughs. "... it was kind of funny. "

Sanji grins. "It kind of was. "

Tsuru walks back in, and tosses the crumpled paper back at Zoro. "Finally getting along? "

The two nod. "That's good, but your guardians are on the way. Take your bags and sit in the office, and behave. "

The two nod and quickly make their ways out of the principals office. The two sit on the chairs in silence before Sanji speaks up. 

"Okay, let's be friends now. "

Zoro tilts his head. "Why? "

"Because I don't have any, and you don't have any. "

Zoro thinks of Yuba and Kuina, but decides that they would like him to have another friend. "Okay, we're friends now. I'm Zoro, Mr Swirly."

Sanji huffs, "Awesome, I'm Sanji, Moss head! "

"What'd you say!?! "

"Mosshead-"

Sanji is picked up by the collar, and looks up at the bearded man with a smile. "Hi...?”

"Eggplant, what the hell did you do!? "

Sanji points at Zoro and smiles. "I made a friend."

Zoro waves. The man laughs, "That's good, that's good. Now wait here, and don't fight for 2 minutes. " The guy places Sanji back down and heads towards the receptionist. 

Zoro and Sanji are arguing over stupid things when Kuina arrives, very angrily. "Zoro- what did you do? "

Zoro half smiles. "... made a friend...? "

She furrows her brows and walks over to the receptionist. "That's your mom...? "

Zoro shakes his head. "My sister... kind of, but the principal doesn't need to know that..." Zoro doesn't feel giddy at calling Kuina his sister, no really, he doesn't! (Total lie.)

Sanji laughs, but his dad picks him up and tosses him over his shoulder. "You gotta clean around the restaurant for four days while your suspended, damned Eggplant! "

Sanji waves, and Zoro waves back. 

Zoro turns to look at Kuina, who is sighing some paper. She turns back towards him after a few exchanged words with the office lady, and waves him to follow her. He follows. 

She doesn't say anything till they get to the car, where she groans aloud. "I had to leave work to come pick you up, stupid. "

She ruffles his hair and starts the car. "I have to take you home, y'know? "

Zoro frowns. "Do you really? "

"Yes, Zoro. I'm sorry... but you can come to the dojo later, right? "

"But... I got in trouble in school, so she won't let me. "

Kuina frowns. "You're gonna get me in trouble, but I'll let you stay with me at work. You have to go home later though, alright? "

Zoro nods, and messes with the string of his hoodie. "Maybe when you turn 18, you can adopt me. "

Kuina is stunned- for a long time. She hears his words over and over, and she doesn't know what to say. "I... Huh...? Did I hear you right? "

Zoro frowns. "Never mind- sorry. "

Why did he just do that? That was so stupid of him. 

Kuina blinks, staring hard at the street. She's always hated being born a girl, she resents it, and now comes her stupid natural mother like nature. She wants to protect him so bad- but she knows she can't. God- 

"I can't, I'm broke. It's a lot of money, maybe we can work something out."

Zoro smiles. "Really?! "

Kuina glances at Zoro's happy face for a second, and sighs. "Yes. But it's not a promise, don't get too happy. " 

... 

Zoro does get a little too happy-

~~~

It's her 18th birthday, and she is so lost. 

She should be happy, but she can't muster it up. At the dojo they through her a party- some of her friends are there, everyone is there- and yet she feels so lost and empty. 

God. 

What a buzzkill. Kuina had long disappeared from the party after blowing out the candles. Instead of hanging around all her friends, she's outside with Yuba who has finally warmed up to her. 

Someone touches her shoulder, and she jumps. 

"Kuina? "

Kuina turns to see Zoro with a small box, wrapped in yellow wrapping paper with a small bow. "I got you something. I worked around the dojo for a whole week to get the money! "

Kuina smiles, and Zoro sits next to her. "Here. "

She takes the gift and stares at it. 'KUINA' is in big black letters and she can see where he made a typo and had to scribble it out. "Thank you, I bet I'll like it. "

He grins. 

She opens the box and smiles at the gift in there. 

It's stupid- so stupid, but sweet. A blue bear with a small paper saying 'BEST SWORDSMAN'. 

"You're such an idiot, thank you. I love it. "

She picks the small bear up and places it on her lap. "Now I don't have to train anymore- since I'm officially the strongest." She looks down at the bear, and god, it stings. 

She looks at Zoro, who looks so proud of himself. "I had to ask Swirly- and he said you wouldn't like it... "

Kuina rolls her eyes. "I love it, tell Swirly he was wrong. "

Kuina hugs Zoro, and he smiles. 

"Okay, let's make a promise. " Kuina stares down at her hands. 

Zoro looks at her, and she frowns. 

"Promise me that you'll live a super happy and long life. "

He stares at her confused for a second, before a grin spreads onto his face. "And I'll beat you and become the strongest swordsman here! "

She smiles, and laughs, and messes with his hair. "Yes, yes, that too. "

"I'm gonna head to bed, but pinky promise that you'll never break it. The promise." how can she do this-

He holds out a pinky. "I swear. "

She presses a kiss to his forehead. "Love ya, little guy. "

She walks away, and Zoro doesn't know that that's the last time he'll ever see her. 

Alive, that is. 

...

He walks in with a smile in the morning, but everyone is sad, and frowning, and he's lost. 

Her picture is up on a counter, with candles and memorabilia- huh?! 

Koushirou tells him she fell down the stairs and died. Through tears- he hands him a sword and a box.

"It's for you, she told me these are for you. She said... to not open the box until you are ready."

Zoro feels his world crack, and shake, and crumble. 

She was supposed to live- 

She made him promise- 

Zoro realizes a few years later why she made him promise- she planned it- 

God- she wanted to die.

...

He grabs the box and and mumbles an 'okay' before dashing out the room.

He finds himself outside, holding the box to his chest while Yuba rubs up against him. 

He cries, and cries, and his throat runs dry and his eyes feel even drier and yet he can't stop. 

He bites down on his lip. It draws blood. 

Honestly, he can't even remember what he does for the next few months. He remembers Sanji trying to help him feel better, and Yuba was always attacked to his side... but he doesn't remember any of it.

He stares at Wado and the box every night  before he goes to sleep.

~~~

He doesn't open the box till he's 15 years old. 

He was too scared of what he'd find, or he just wasn't ready. Sanji and Usopp are with him, in Sanji's basement. He doesn't know- it feels right to be with his best friends while opening the box. 

Wado sits at his side. The scar on his arm stings, and he hesitantly breaks the seal on the wooden box. 

Zoro stares down at it and ignores the stinging in his chest. 

"You don't have too open it if you aren't ready-""No, Usopp, I have too. It's time. "

He pops it open. 3 golden earrings stare down at him, a folded paper and an envelope. 

Oh, and that fucking blue bear he got her. The tears start pouring, and he falls back onto the floor. "Fuck- fuck man. " 

He thought he was ready. 

He's not, obviously.

Sanji and Usopp are at his side though, and they smile at him. He rubs at his eyes, sitting up again. He picks up the note with shaky hands. 

He starts to read aloud-

'hey. 

How old are you now? Maybe 18, or 15. Oh well, no need to know that. I gave you some things that mean the world to me, but if I'm being honest, I think you are my favorite thing ever. 

In that annoying little brother way, because that's what you are. An annoying little brother, but in that way that makes me smile.

I could never see myself living very long, but I think you made me want to, If even for a moment. But, obviously my own issues over take my need to protect you. 

I hope that Sanji is there though, and any other new friends you’ll make. And know that if anyone ever hurts you, my ghost will haunt them for the rest of forever. 

My dad sucked, and life fucking sucked, and you and Yuba were the only things that made sense. Anyway, whatever, I don't know. 

I left you some things, as you can see. 

Love you. This is weird.'

Zoro puts down the paper and bursts into tears. Loud sobbing, and fucking boogers and snot- 

Two hands rub at his back. "I bet she's proud of you, y'know. "

Zoro smiles, and takes a tissue to blow his snot away. "Yeah! You became the strongest! " 

It's bittersweet though, he never did get to beat her. 

Maybe in the future, after he's lived a long happy life, he can beat her. If there's even an afterlife, or whatever. 

"Yeah. She even gave me the teddy bear with proof. "

He holds up the blue bear and smiles at it. "What's in the envelope? "

Zoro shrugs. "I don't know. Maybe another letter that will make me sob. " he picks it up and-

...

...

"Holy fucking shit. "

Zoro picks up the money with shaky hands. "I think that's like... 4 grand. "

He stares at it for so long, and then starts to count. "It's all 100's... " Usopp stares in disbelief. 

Sanji can't help but stare too- what the actual fuck-

It takes him awhile to count all the cash, but by the end there's 5,000 dollars in cash. "What am I even supposed to do with 5 grand!?! "

"Buy something?! Why are you asking us!?!”

Zoro swallows and shoves back into the envelope. "She knows I'm an orphan- I'm gonna get robbed. "

Sanji scoffs. "Keep it here, I won't touch it. Swear. "

Zoro shrugs. "I guess, sure. "

He stares at the 3 earrings. "So, should I go get my ears pierced? My first purchase.”

Sanji grins. "Let's go, I do have my permit now..."

Zoro pulls out two bills, and shoves everything else back into the box. "Okay, let's go. I'm gonna make a fashion statement. "

By the end of the day, when Sanji inflates the air matress and Usopp is snoring to his left, he has 3 new piercings in the same ear, with 3 golden earrings. 

He smiles. He does hope that Kuina is proud of him, or whatever...

He never said it back, he thinks. 

He loves her too, in that obnoxious angry big sister way.

Chapter Text

"Hehe... Zoro, I'm hungry. "

Luffy turns his head to face Zoro, who's taking a long drag from the joint. Zoro coughs a little before looking at Luffy. 

Luffy's heart jumps at the smile. 

He can't help it— Zoro's smile is like, the greatest thing ever. It makes his heart feel fizzy-

"Yeah... me too. Do you... want apple pie?”

Luffy imagines a warm, gooey, cinnamon-ie apple pie, and practically drools all over Zoro's chest. "Yeah. Do you have any? "

"Let's like... make it. In the kitchen. We have all that baking and apple shit here. "

Luffy grins, and sits up. "Okay, let's do it!”

Zoro offers the joint, but after the extreme coughing session from a long drag, he'd rather not. Law went all out on this new box of joints. 

Luffy shakes his head, and Zoro shoves it down into the ashtray. The fire goes out, and the two run out of the room giggling. 

Luffy is like... 90% sure that no one is home. Sanji has some back to school stuff, Usopp is working... even Merry isn't home! 

She's with a groomer. Or something, he wasn't really paying attention while Usopp was talking.

"Wait, how do we make apple pie? "

Zoro shrugs, and pulls out his phone. Luffy leans over his shoulder to watch... "Should be easy, it's just pie. "

"Let's make it extra gooey and yummy. "

"Let's make it salty. "

"Oi! Ew, that's nasty! " 

Zoro chuckles, and presses a kiss to Luffy's head. Oh, right, he left his hat in Zoro's room... he hopes Enma will respect his hat...

"Heh, pick that one. Dutch apple pie. "

"Luffy, 5 hours!?! "

"Yeah! It looks yummy. "

Zoro hums, and clicks on the recipe... "15 apples, what the fuck! I think Sanji keeps all the fruit in the pantry. "

Luffy opens the pantry, and just like Zoro said, two bags of apples sit amongst all the other fruits and vegetables (well, the ones that don't need to be refrigerated...).

"Okay, got it! " Luffy slams the two bags down onto the counter- and Zoro carefully places down a wooden cutting board with a chef knife in hand. 

"Do you think it's as easy as swordfighting?”

Luffy shrugs, and rips open the bag of apples. "Should we wash these? "

"Probably... maybe shave them too. "

"Shave? You shave apples!?! "

"That's what the recipe says! "

Luffy stares down at the phone... "I'm not reading all that. "

"Neither am I... let's just use the pictures.”

Luffy runs water through the apple bag, and Zoro starts on the shaving part... are you really supposed to shave apples-

"Luffy, stop staring and help! "

Luffy whines, but walks over to help shave the countless apples. But, the shaving part is instantly better because of the peeler. 

The two giggle the entire time, and at some point Zoro brings over his laptop to display the recipe and play music. 

"Do you think... the apples are in pain from this?"

Zoro snickers, and starts peeling another apple. "Maybe they like it... it makes them happy to be eaten. "

"Like it's their only purpose? "

"Exactly. Woah, are we the bad guys here?”

"But it starts way before we buy them! That means the parents taught them that... so really, it's the ancestors of all the fruit and veggies... "

Zoro stares at the apple he's peeling, and frowns, "Or... maybe we, the farmers, taught the fruit to think like that. It's a long chain of abuse and manipulation for these fruit... just to end in our tummy. "

 Luffy starts on another apple, and there's about 10 shaved and bare apples sitting on the corner of the wooden chopping board. "How can... we stop it? "

"Everyone in the world stops eating and buying apples... maybe. "

Luffy pouts... apples are too yummy to give up. "Okay, never mind. I like apples. It's yummy, maybe they like knowing they're yummy too. "

Zoro hums, and finishes peeling his current apple. "I like oranges better. "

Luffy slams his hip into Zoro's side. "Don't say that in front of them, you idiot! "

"What!?! I didn't say I didn't like them?”

"What if you hurt the apple society and they stop being yummy to us? "

Zoro gasps, and hesitates before grabbing the next apple... "You're right, Luffy... I'm sorry, apples... "

There's no response, only the music playing in the background. 

After a few seconds, Zoro starts peeling again. 

Luffy hums along to the song, and after about 40 minutes of fucking around with apples... all the apples are shaved and ready to be chopped.

"Okay, now we have to, " Zoro looks at his laptop and squints, "Chop them up into little slices... "

Luffy hums, and brings over a pot as Zoro chops them up. Luffy watches, and wonders if this is what'd it be like if they lived together.

Alone.

No roommates. Just Enma, Zoro and him. He smiles to himself. He'd like that— one day. 

Not now... he still needs to tell Gramps about Zoro! 

Luffy would rather not think about how his grandpa would react to the news... he's not too sure if Gramps would be happy or upset.

But he's sure that if Sabo and Ace like Zoro, his grandpa will too.

heh… probably… anyway. He’s not sure, Zoro’s like his first boyfriend ever.

After another 20 minutes of Luffy singing along horribly to the music, Zoro finally finishes cutting up the apples into tiny slices. 

"This is a shit ton of apples. "

"It's gonna be a big pie! "

Zoro hums, and shoves all the slices into the pot. "Now what? " 

Luffy looks down at the laptop, looking for the next picture... Luffy frowns and notices he has to read off the recipe. "Put them in a skillet... pot, with lemon juice and zest. "

"No heat! " he adds. 

"Okay... let's see if we have that shit here... " Zoro rummages through the fridge, and Luffy looks at the pot filled to the brim with apple slices... that's a lot of apples...

He definitely doesn't grab one or two (okay, it was definitely 10) and shoves it into his mouth.

"Luffy, don't eat it! "

"How'd you know!?! "

"I can see you, idiot! “

Luffy grins, "Oopsie... "

Zoro scoffs (with a huge smile… he’s not very convincing…) and comes back with two lemons and a bottle of lemon juice. "Somehow, we actually have it. "

"It's cause you have a great chef living here! "

"He isn't that good... "

"Are you jealous, Zoro?! "

Zoro looks away from him, "No. I'm not. "

Luffy smiles, and pulls his boyfriend into a hug. "I think you're better than great. "

He can't exactly see Zoro's face from the angle and position of the hug, but from the dozens of kisses Zoro presses to his head... he can tell that it made Zoro happy.

"I think you're better than great too, Luf. "

Luffy giggles, and he can hear the lemon juice squirting out of the bottle. 

"Don't put too much, or it'll be too sour. "

"Ok, Chef Luffy. "

"I'm serious! Sour pie isn't good! "

"Key lime pie? " 

"Too sour. "

Zoro makes a noise, and then carefully sheers a lemon over the pot... "Okay, now what? "

Luffy walks over to the laptop, "1/2 cup of brown sugar, 1/2 cup of granulated sugar, 1/3 cup of flour-""Okay, wait, wait. "

... by the time they pour in the flour and sugars, there's a mess all over the counter. 

"Dartboard is gonna kill us. "

"Not if we clean it before he notices. "

"Okay, what else? "

"A pinch of salt, 2 tablespoons of cinnamon, 3/4 tablespoon... whatever that is... of Nutmeg. "

"The fuck is nutmeg?"

"What's 3/4 of a tablespoon?! "

Zoro adds in a pinch of salt (is that even what 1/2 of a tablespoon is-), and 2 spoonfuls of cinnamon... "fuck, what the shit is anything? "

Luffy shrugs. "Uh oh... "

"What?! "

"We need homemade pie crust. "

Zoro groans, and then starts to laugh— 

"What? "

"Nothing- " Zoro laughs inbetween the words, "It's- it's just funny. Holy shit. " 

Luffy stirs the apple mixture as Zoro doubles over from laughter, "Fuck... do you think— do you think Dartboard has pie crust somewhere here? "

Luffy looks over and Zoro is still laughing hysterically... it's cute, Luffy decides. "Uh, I don't know! You live here! "

"You basically live here too! "

Luffy giggles out of giddiness- oh, wow, that makes him so happy. "Okay, okay, you just go look in the fridge! "

Zoro continues to snicker to himself as he digs through the freezer and fridge, and Luffy makes sure the apple concoction doesn't burnt... but it seems to be fine. 

Yeah...

He stirs it again. 

"Holy shit! Lucky, he actually has pie crust!”

Zoro places down a pie-tray thing and grins, "Thank fuck... "

"Aw man... I wanted to make dough. "

Zoro stares at him, a hand on his hip and a look that says 'are you serious.' Luffy giggles, "What? It could've been fun! "

"Fuck that. "

Luffy stares at the apples again... he's not too sure when it's supposed to be ready though... maybe when the entire house smells like cinnamon apple?

Luffy stirs the apple mixture again, and it's definitely more liquid-y then it was before. And it smells... really good. 

He stares at the apple mixture, and tries not to shove his hand into the hot pan and take a chunk to eat. It works- he's not that impulsive...

At least, not today. 

Zoro wraps his arms around his waist. He presses kisses at the back of his neck and shoulders, "Oi, that tickles! "

"Oh really? "

"Yes, really. "

Zoro laughs against the skin of his shoulder— and it sends a shiver through his whole body. He smiles to himself as he stirs the apples again, and honestly...

It's probably ready with how gushy it looks. And the house smells like apples and cinnamon, so it's probably done by now.

At least... he hopes. 

"Should I order like... a pizza? "

"Yes— with extra cheese and bacon. "

"Bacon? On a pizza? "

Luffy blinks, "Duh. "

Zoro scoffs, and pulls out his phone to order, "Okay, only half. I don't want bacon, anything else? "

Luffy turns off the heat on the stovetop to make sure the apples don't burn— and throws himself onto Zoro's back. "Oi! Give me some warning first!?! "

"Shishi! Sorry! "

Zoro gets onto the Pizza Hut website and... "Oi, get that. " Luffy points at the platter of pizza and breadsticks and wings, and Zoro stares at it blankly... the shit he does for the idiot breathing down his neck. 

"Fine, fine. "

He hopes Usopp and Sanji get home so that the two of them don't inevitably eat the whole damn thing. 

"Pepperoni and cheese. "

"Okayyyyy, fine. "

2 minutes later, the order is placed and on the way... there goes 29 dollars... 

"Okay, now to finish that pie... "

"What's next!?! "

~~~

The two collapse on the couch, Zoro leaning heavily onto Luffy. The pie is finally in the oven after like... 8 mishaps with the whole pie crust process. Now to wait 40-something minutes...

Luffy giggles, and turns on the tv. "I'm hungry. "

"Me too. "

“That fucking sucked I never wanna make pie again. “

Luffy giggles, and wraps his arms around Zoro’s neck, “It was fun though! “

“Okay, yeah, it was kind of fun. “

They both go quiet, just holding eachother… when the voices of Usopp and Sanji echo through the apartment buildings hallways. 

Zoro prepares for the worst, when the door opens to Usopp holding a massive pizza hut box and Sanji only looking a little pissed off. 

“Did you order this? “

“Whatever happened to ‘hello’ or ‘how are you?’, huh? “

“Hello you fucking Swamphead, is this pizza yours? “

“Yes, Long-Nose. “

Luffy laughs as he stares at the pizza with dreamy eyes- whew, he’s so hungry. All he’s eaten is apples… it’s not enough!

“Usopp, gimme it. “

Usopp shrugs and places it on the coffee table, and gasps as the two instantly pop it open and start eating. There’s so much food in the box too… he doesn’t doubt that if he doesn’t get a piece now… he won’t later.

He grabs a slice of the square pepperoni, “Sanji, come get a slice before the gluttons eat it! “

He turns around to see Sanji scanning the kitchen closely… “Did you two fucks make an apple pie?! “

Luffy laughs, loud and clearly despite the breadstick hanging out of mouth— “Yup! “

Sanji stares at it through the oven… it’s not half bad. He’s doubted their skills… but maybe he should taste test it before making assumptions. You never know with the two morons… 

He looks back up to see the TV on playing some show reacting to people getting injured, and all three of his friends collapsed on the couch… okay, yeah, he should take Usopp’s warning…

And now.

He bolts over and grabs a slice of the cheese before Luffy can, and sits down next to Usopp.

“Baking pie sucks. “

“Welcome to my world. “

“Oh, yeah, shitty? “

“Suck my—“ Sanji is cut off by a breadstick being shoved into his mouth. Now usually, he’d be so fucking pissed off… but he doesn’t have it in him today. 

The four watch the tv, occasionally reaching over for another piece of food from the family box. 

The Tv puts on a clip of a guy deep frying a turkey… and a boom! 

“Yikes… “

“Shishi! What a moron! “

“He didn’t prepare the turkey right! What a fucking waste. “

“Someone did that outside our high school once.”

Usopp gasps, “Oh shit, yeah, what was his name?! Fucking… Caesar! The clown! “

Sanji laughs, “Yeah, that fucktard! “

Luffy laughs, “did you get a video?! “

Zoro shrugs, “No clue… “

“Nah, no one thought he would do it. It was during second lunch, right in the middle of the courtyard. “

Usopp nods before continuing the story for Sanji, “With only 6 Bunsen burners, a stolen pot from the cafeteria, a shit ton of oil… and a turkey. “

“The eyebrows that got blasted off that day…” Zoro remembers very clearly, the 3 of them were actually right there when it happened. There was also some lawsuit a mother filled, but Caesar evaded it somehow by saying he learned from his mistake (spoiler, he didn’t.) “Dartbrow should’ve been closer… “

“Take that shit back you Mossy fuck! “

Before Zoro’s rebuttal could even form, his laptop’s alarm started blaring… the pie! 

“Should I get that… or do you want to finish your pie experience? “

“Go get it! I’m too comfy. “

Sanji sighs, and gets up to get the pie.

…

The four stare at it after it’s cooled down, and they’ve eaten enough pizza, wings and breadsticks for two weeks… 

“Do you think it’s good? “

“Duhh, we made it. Idiot Usopp. “

“You’re genuinely the idiot here!?? “

Luffy ignores him, and shoves a fork straight into the center. 

“Oi, you don’t eat pie like that! “

“But me an’ Zoro made it! “

Zoro shoves his own fork into the side, getting a forkful of the filling, crust and the bit at the top.

… Sanji hesitantly shoves his own fork in, and Usopp is the last…

“Okay, moment of truth. “

… 5 seconds pass as they all chew and digest the pie… 

5 seconds of pure suspense, no one truly knowing if it’ll actually taste good. 

“Oh, that’s actually pretty good. “

Chapter Text

When Luffy gets home from Zoro's, he's expecting Ace and Sabo to not be home but... no, they both were. 

And Gramps. 

Luffy grins. "Hey Gramps! "

Garp turns over and smiles, "Brat! Where the hell have you been all day?! "

At Zoro's... probably making out... And cuddling... yeah that's exactly what they did for the two hours he was over. Working at a movie theater sucks. He expected it to be easy, maybe he could just watch the movies all day but... 

No. The opposite, actually. 

So when he got off work, he bothered Zoro till Zoro got off... and then they ate food... and went home. Can Luffy even call Zoro's home, home?

"My boyfriends. "

Garp falls out of his seat, and Ace and Sabo also seem shocked even though he already told them. The first people, actually. Traitors...

"You have a what!?! " Garp sits up, brows furrowed. Luffy thinks Zoro can hold his own against Garp, in case things go south. He's not sure, he never really had a real boyfriend before. 

Just... one time things. Like that spin the bottle game at Vivi’s house where he had to kiss that really, really annoying, weird guy. 

"A boyfriend. His name is Zoro, and he's super cool and strong. "

Garp huffs. "He plan on going into the navy?! "

"No. "

Garp shakes his head, "I don't approve then. "

Now it's Luffy's turn to be mad, "I don't need your approval! "

Garp huffs. "Fine, when can I meet this kid? "

"How about tomorrow, hm Luffy? " Ace purses his lips, and crosses his arms. 

"We have work tomorrow, moron! "

"Hey, im your big brother! Do not call me a moron! "

"Moron! "

Garp flares his nostrils, "Cale-se! "

Luffy and Ace go quiet. "How about Saturday? Since I know neither of them have work. " Sabo attempts to establish peace in his family but... he's not too sure if it'll work. 

"At least one of you brats is reasonable. It's why you're my favorite, Sabo! " 

Ace gasps, and then furrows his brow. "He's your favorite?! What about me, old man!?! "

"Or me! " Luffy whines, jumping onto Garp's back. "Me! "

Garp laughs, and shrugs Luffy off his shoulders. "You aren't getting lighter! What if you blew my back out?! "

Luffy pouts, and falls back onto the couch. 

"Screw you Sabo! " Ace huffs, and shoves his brother.

"The hell did I do?! "

"Be the middle brother, gringo! "

Sabo gasps, and tackles Ace to the floor. "How dare you! I'm Ecuadorian! "

Luffy watches his brothers fight on the floor with a grin. "Win Sabo, win! "

"Fuck your Ecuadorian! You're probably all Spanish, you conquest-""Say sorry before I beat your ass! "

Ace huffs, and attempts a blow to the chest, but Sabo already has him in a headlock. "Say sorry! "

"No!”

Sabo twists a little more- "Say it! "

"Fucking- okay! I'm sorry, you're Ecuadorian! Not a gringo! " 

Sabo releases him. "Hm. Bitch. "

Garp stares for a little longer before letting out a ground shaking laugh— and for a second Luffy's worried Dadan's urn is gonna fall off the shelf. 

"I'm probably right about the Spain in you, anyway. "

Sabo scoffs, "You probably have Spanish too, fucking idiot! They colonized all of Latin America. "

"Nu-uh, I'm a full blooded Brazilian. Right Gramps?”

Garp snorts. "The only full blooded Brazilians in this family is me, and my son.”

... "Then what am I...? "

"Brazilian and Japanese. "

Ace blinks, and then sits back. He stares at his hands, and then stares at Garp, "Why did no one tell me this?! "

Garp shrugs. "You never asked. "

"I thought I was full blooded Brazilian! " 

Garp laughs again, "You're half Mexican. "

Luffy stares in disbelief, "How?! "

"You're mother. Or... I guess father now. "

"I have two dad's!? " this is too much, Luffy decides. How does he process all this information in his head? Why did Garp tell no one?! 

Garp laughs. "Yeah. I can set something up, maybe. Wanna meet em!? “ 

Luffy shrugs. "Eh, I don't wanna. "

"Respect your other father. "

"No. "

Luffy grins wildly before squeezing behind Sabo. "Can't get me now! "

Sabo puts his hands up. "He's right, Gramps, you can't. "

Garp huffs and turns his head away from them. "Anyway, Luffy, this boyfriend of yours, he'll be here on Saturday? "

"Yes! "

Garp nods. "Okay, I'll be here Saturday at 6 pm! You and this boyfriend better be there, Brat! "

Luffy grins. "Okay. “

"Anyway, order a pizza or something. I'm hungry! "

Sabo sighs. "What toppings-""Meat! "

~~~

"Okay, so that's why, on Saturday you need to come over and meet Gramps. "

Zoro blinks. That's in like... 4 days! That's barely enough time to mentally prepare- "Fuck. Do you think he'll hate me? "

Luffy is silent for a little, before shrugging. "I dunno. Do faster push-ups. "

Zoro scoffs. "If you want it faster, go do your own push ups! "

"Noooo... sitting on Zoro's back is more fun. "

"Then don't complain, idiot. " Zoro smiles to himself, and then Luffy starts poking at the back of his head. "What? "

"Moss. "

"Get off. "

"Nooooo... "

Zoro scoffs. "Alright, I did 100 already. Get off."

"Do 500, then. "

"You only want me for my awesome muscles. "

Luffy giggles, and then leans down to his ear, "Nooo, I like you too. And your muscles. " Luffy whispers, and Zoro feels the shiver down his spine.

God- when will he not get flustered by stuff Luffy does!?! 

"Okay, off. "

"Okay. " Luffy rolls off, and collapses onto the floor. "Wow, what a good work out! "

Zoro stares at Luffy for a moment before furrowing his brows, "You did literally nothing but watch me. "

Luffy grins. "Shishi! It was fun. " Luffy sits up and pulls Zoro in for a kiss... it leaves him breathless for a second. Zoro kisses back, his hand cupping Luffy's cheek. 

Mango chapstick. Luffys lips taste like mango chapstick and the Baja blast he got earlier.

"Mango chapstick. "

Luffy smiles, "How'd you know? "

"Cause I can taste it. " Zoro's thumb traces over Luffy's lip- and Luffy giggles before biting it softly. 

"Yours is minty. "

Okay, he maybe grabbed one from CVS and walked out (without paying) right after Luffy told him his were insanely chapped. 

"Mhm, do you like it? "

"Yeah. Maybe they have a meat flavor? "

Zoro makes a face, "Gross. "

Luffy gasps. "It's not gross, meat is yummy! "

Zoro pulls his hand away, and scoffs. "Yeah, to eat. "

Luffy picks his hand up, and traces over the small cuts caused by Enma, "Hmm, okay, I think you're right. I'd rather taste Zoro anyway. "

"Your grandpa... do you think he'll like me?”

Luffy looks up at him and smiles, "Yeah, because I like you. "

Zoro smiles, but he's still kinda panicking. The only parents he's ever meet is Sanji's dad... that honestly says more about his childhood than anything else— "Okay... what if-""If he doesn't like you then he's just a stupid old man. Don't worry about it.”

"Alright... do you uh, wanna visit Kuina's grave? One of these days. "

Luffy grins. "Really? "

"Yeah. Maybe her ghost is lurkin' around there. "

"Yeah, that would be cool. "

"Yeah... wanna watch bleach? "

Luffy nods, "Yeah! "

Chapter Text

He never really celebrated his birthday. 

Growing up he got a pat on the back, and maybe the teacher will occasionally ask the class to wish him a nice happy birthday. Growing up in foster care, his houses just… didn’t give him that luxury. 

It stuck. That habit of doing nothing. Even after he met Kuina, and started training at the dojo— he never really celebrated. 

He would acknowledged it was his birthday, and that’s he a year older. 

Sanji celebrated with cakes and balloons, and Usopp celebrated with lies of giant chocolate fountains and cakes taller than a house.

He liked birthdays, despite everything. He liked celebrating his friend’s birthdays. He liked celebrating Perona’s birthday with her, back in that foster house. 

But no one ever really celebrated his. 

He didn’t really care either. 

He would tell them that he didn’t ever care for celebrating, and it stayed like that.

Yeah, until Luffy shows up with a very messed up looking cake and a frown, still holding up a set of green balloons. 

He… he doesn’t know what to say as he stares at Luffy, mouth gaped half open.

Luffy’s wearing a white shirt with paint horribly spelling ZORO DAY!

Luffy’s wearing green shorts, and his Strawhat is replaced for a small hat that spells happy birthday in 13 different fonts.

Luffy looks at him, tilts his head and sheepishly smiles, “Happy Birthday, Zoro.”

Zoro blinks— and ignores that flutter in his chest as he presses a kiss to Luffy’s forehead.

“Thank you.”

“I got you a cake, Zoro! But— look, it got all messed up when I picked it up!” Luffy walks into his house, ignoring Usopp and Sanji’s confused looks. “The baker dropped it! It didn’t get… completely smashed, or anything… so that’s good!”

Luffy sets down the cake on the counter, and places the balloons close down to it. 

Zoro stares, a little confused. Luffy looks to him, and smiles. 

He smiles back. 

He can hear Sanji and Usopp whispering— but he ignores them. 

“Uh, you didn’t have to get me anything—“”Bullshit! Birthday’s are the 4th most important part of year!”

“4th?”

“Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s.” Luffy says it like it’s obvious, and maybe it is. 

“Thanksgiving is first? Seriously?” 

“No other day where I can eat so much meat.” Luffy pulls something out of the green pockets of his pants— a cone hat with Birthday Boy written all over it, and grins as he pulls him down. “Close your eyes.”

He does it, and feels a string wrap around his head. 

He opens his eyes to see Luffy starring into his eyes with a small smile— he leans in out of habit and presses a kiss to those lips, that are never really chapped anymore.

Today, his lips taste like strawberry.

Luffy pulls away laughing, and presents his cake. 

“In my family, we do a special ritual with the cake!”

He nods, lifting up a brow. 

“Yeah? What do you do?”

“It’s special, very, very special.” He watches Luffy barely contain his laughter… he gulps nervously. 

“Okay… so, what?”

Luffy calls over Usopp and Sanji— who both sprint over nervously. Ironically, they were the first ones to burst into his room at 12:00 and scream at him about his birthday. 

They scared the actual fuck out of him— so much so that he dropped his weight right on his foot.

They continued yelling about his birthday as he chased them around the house, screaming at them about his foot hurting. 

“Stand right infront of your cake, and just relax!”

Luffy whispers something to Sanji and Usopp, that he doesn’t manage to hear over his heart beating out of his chest. He’s never blown out candles for his birthday, but now he stares at a cake with 5 candles and icing spelling his name in perfect swirls.

There’s a small plastic sword sticking out of it.

He smiles softly. 

Luffy pulls the sword out, grinning as he licks it clean.

“Okay, ready?” Usopp and Sanji nod. Usopp started filming, and so did Sanji. He’s not sure why, but whatever. They’ve done weirder.

“Happy Birthday to you!” 

He gulps.

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Zoroooo!”

Luffy stands behind him, giant shit eating grin that he doesn’t notice. Luffy contains his giggles as they sing the next part of the song— 

“Happy birthday to you!!”

He blows out the candles hesitantly, and Luffy pulls them all out in seconds.

The door slams open, and suddenly Ace and Sabo start to chant— “Mordida! Mordida! Mordida!”

It all happens so fast that he doesn’t even notice Luffy shoving his head into the cake, full force— 

He blinks, and lifts his head up… covered in frosting and cake. He sighs, smiling softly as he licks his lips. 

He looks over at Ace and Sabo who laugh hysterically, holding up gift bags as they do. 

He looks at Usopp and Sanji laugh even harder— Usopp shoving the camera deep in his face. 

And looks over at Luffy, also laughing hysterically, to the point that tears swell in his eyes. He sighs, and feels the cake slowly sliding down his face.

“Luffy,” he says, with his calmest voice. Luffy looks up, biting down on his lip.

“Mhm? Did you like your birthday surprise?!”

“Loved it.”

He grabs Luffy by the waist, and smirks. 

“Fuck you.”

He presses his face against Luffy, rubbing and spreading around as much cake and frosting as possible while Luffy laughs— laughs and laughs. 

He even grabs a fistful of the stupid cake and splats it all over Luffy’s forehead.

“I’m glad Zoro liked it!”

His eyes soften, and he lets go. He watches as Luffy licks the icing clean from his face, laughing gently as he does. 

“Mhm, this cake is good!”

“Yeah, too bad most of it is fucking destroyed!” Usopp laughs. He looks over at the cake, mostly destroyed by the shape of his head.

He scoffs.

“The smashed cake always tastes better anyway.” Ace grins— already walking over with a fork in hand. He hands him a purple gift bag, “Here man, a gift. Not sure what you like, but uh, manners says to bring gifts.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

Sabo hands him a orange bag, smirking. “You’ll like mine better. Happy birthday, Zoro.”

“Thanks.”

Sabo nods, and shoves Ace away to shove his own fork into the cake.

He wipes the frosting off his face with his hand, licking it off his fingers once he’s done.

It’s good, even if he doesn’t really enjoy such sweet stuff.

…

He likes the warm feeling in his stomach, celebrating his birthday like this. 

It’s later now, and at some point Nami— and everyone— even fucking Law, showed up with gifts and shit.

For him. 

They celebrate and sing again. 

They’re all here for him, on his birthday, and for some reason— it makes him feel whole. It’s not just another day, it’s his birthday— he’s not just one year older.

It’s more than that, now. 

He smiles softly, looking over at Luffy who’s been singing Birthday Jingles with Brook for at least 20 minutes now.

Luffy pauses, and smiles back. 

He mouths a “thank you.”

Luffy holds up a heart, with his hands.

His cheeks warms up, and he bites the inners of his cheek as he looks away to watch Franky, Kid and Nami argue over who can take the most shots… with lemonade.

It’s a nice sentiment.

He obviously can take the most.

Chapter Text

Zoro is fucking cooked. Fried. Absolutely burnt. 

And no, it’s not because of the insane leg day he just hit. 

It’s because he’s meeting Luffy’s family in… 3 hours. 3 hours till he meets Luffy’s grandfather who he had heard utter atrocities about— and real ass fucking atrocities. 

He groans, and pulls his head up from the counter. He’s hasn’t even been able to nap at all today he’s been so… on edge, but not scared (because… he’s not scared or anything), unsure of what to anticipate with meeting family of all things.

Sure, Luffy’s brothers he’s meet— but he’s never made it this far in a relationship— let alone ever been in one! He’s meeting the people who… who well, matter.

What the hell is even gonna say? Or do? He’s the most moody, awkward, antisocial person he knows. 

Honestly, it’s a miracle Luffy likes him so much, he’s a fucking brick wall of a person. The most complex thing about him is his hair. 

“The fuck is wrong with you?” Sanji asks as he shuts the sliding door behind him, wiping his hand on his shirt as he walks over to him, mid-moping on the kitchen island. 

“Meeting Luffy’s grandpa in 3 hours.” He says, as if he hasn’t been freaking out about it all week. 

“Oh, you’re fucked.”

“Thanks, Shitbrow.”

“No problem, Green Fuck.”

He scoffs, “Whatever. Do you have any… well, y’know.”

“Advice?” Sanji asks, his lips twisting into an amused expression. 

“Yeah Shitty Barbie, some fucking advice.”

“I don’t know, go watch a fucking Hallmark movie.”

He blinks, watching as the Dart-Browed fuck smugly grins at him with a shit eating expression. 

“You aren’t funny.”

Sanji shrugs. “Might be your best bet. You aren’t exactly lover of the year.”

“Neither are you, ass-fuck.”

Sanji scowls, and kicks his shin. He hisses, biting his tongue at the pain. “Ow! You know I just hit leg day asshole.”

“I’m Zoro, and I like to go to the gym!” Usopp mimicks, sneaking up behind him and effectively scaring the actual shit out of him.

“Okay, I get it. You’re both assholes who are painfully single.”

“Don’t act like you didn’t have a 6 month slow burn. God knows that hurt to watch.” Sanji grumbles, rolling his eyes as he reaches for another Zyn. 

It’s a disgusting habit Sanji has started in his quest of quitting cigarettes, one that has made its way in every single corner of the house. 

“I think it hurts even more to watch you eat that stupid shit.”

Sanji just huffs as he sticks a piece deep into his mouth, leaning against the counter and shrugging. “At the very least, we were invited.”

“Psssh, Sanji’s right! With us as a buffer, there’s no way you can end up dead and plastered on the pavement!” Usopp grins, tapping his shoulders encouragingly. “Don’t say we’ve never had your back!”

Zoro could cry. 

And no, it’s not out of affection.

“Shitheads.” He grumbles, wincing when the chair beside him scrapes against the floor. Usopp takes a seat beside him as Sanji glances down at his phone. 

“I wouldn’t worry too much, with our star-chef catering right here— Garp is bound to love you.”

“More like love Dart-Brow. All I can cook is beef, rice and broccoli.”

“If even!” Sanji laughs, as he continues the start of whatever he was prepping earlier. “The menu is perfect. The guy will be drinking like a sailor, and your boyfriend is Luffy. Nothing’s gonna go wrong.” 

He shrugs. “I guess. Just… I honestly don’t even know what I’m afraid of.”

“Death, probably.” Usopp helpfully responds, and he regards him with a blank stare.

“He can probably get away with it too.” Usopp continues, “But you’re gonna be fine, I mean there’s not a lot that can kill you. Remember?”

He blinks. “Sure.” He responds, sounding completely unsure of whatever the fuck Usopp is on about. His scar tingles, a reminiscence of a past he tries to forget.

“Just invite Buggy.” Sanji laughs, and Zoro holds up a middle finger.

His friends are no help. Seriously.

~~~~~~

He breathes in deeply, glancing upwards at the white door. 

His nerves are out of this world, as they all stand outside of Luffy’s home. Zoro holds the platters and tray of foods— balanced between both of his hands. Sanji and Usopp give him an enthusiastic thumbs up, the no help bastards they are. 

The seconds it takes for the door to open feel like death, his heart racing from nerves. He can’t believe he’s so nervous— he feels like a teenage loser right before their first day of high school. 

Time runs in slow motion as the door gets thrown wide open, and instead of a beefy, bulky, large figure, it’s the familiar, soft, handsome figures of his love. He smiles gently as Luffy grins widely at them, ushering them in with untamed enthusiasm.

The house is pretty quiet when they walk in, and Zoro looks around confused at the emptiness. “Uh, where is everyone?” He asks, setting down the trays of food down onto the counters.

“Picking up gramps. I think, I wasn’t really paying attention when they left.” He shrugs, smiling helpfully at the end. He then tosses himself back down into his couch, as he picks up his Nintendo and kicks his feet up onto the couch. “I’ve been playing Tears of the Kingdom for 8 hours straight.” He says, eyes looking up at them as he gestures them over.

“Jesus Luffy. Have you done anything today?” Usopp asks as he sits down on the two seater, glancing at the TV playing cartoons at damn near full volume.

Zoro happily seats himself next to Luffy, to which Luffy instantly places his head into his lap. He grins, his hand instinctively coming to run through his black hair. 

“Nope! Sanji, it smells good. Can you sneak me some?” 

Sanji shakes his head in amusement. “Your brothers would kill you, and then me.” Sanji leans against a counter in the kitchen, crossing his arms over his chest as he glances around the apartment.

Luffy sighs dramatically, pouting inhappily. “But I’m hungry!” He whines, “you can’t make me starve!”

“You’re always hungry.” Sanji replies, taking a seat at the kitchen counter. “Why did you tell us to come so early when no one is here?”

“I was lonely.” Luffy shrugs.

Usopp laughs, “You scared Zoro shitless when you said it was an emergency and we come now— just for you to be lonely.”

“It is an emergency! What if I got bored?!”

Usopp shakes his head, nodding in agreement. “Nope, definitely an emergency.”

Zoro loves his idiot. He loves him so much, he thinks, as the three erupt into loud discussion. Soft delicate hair twirls through his fingers as he reflects, noting that this is something important and real. It matters to him, more than anything has before.

He loves someone, down to his core, and meeting the people who are so deeply intertwined into this person is completely nerve wracking. He can’t shake the feeling, this feeling of letting everything go wrong and horribly— and losing this because he won’t be able to function with failure.

It’s scary. But he’s the very, very strongest— and he thinks he can make it. 

He won’t take failure, because he doesn’t lose anyway. He’s a sworn victor, and he will never back down from a fight— while this not any physical battle, it’s a mental one— and he can take that in stride.

Breathing in through his nose, he calmly accepts battle.

…

“Hahaha! Zoro, my family loves you!” Luffy says, wrapping his arms around him as Zoro looks around confused. He doesn’t remember greeting Luffy’s grandfather at all. Did he forget? Zone out?

He looks around; Luffy’s apartment suddenly looking like weird scramble of both his and Luffy’s. He blinks, not remembering the interior looking like this. It was all strange, as Luffy’s arm continues to wrap around him in an unrealistic way. 

He blinks. 

This can’t be real, he thinks, and in a moment he snaps awake in a yelp— face flushed as he looks around to see that Luffy’s grandfather had arrived… just for him to have fallen asleep. 

He’s off to a fan-fucking-tastic first meeting.

“I’m up!” He shouts— sitting up like a maniac, nearly tumbling into the coffee table with the force. Luffy breaks out into laughter beside him, as he straightens out his fuzzy mind.

Glancing around with wide eyes, he quickly feels heat rush to his face as he makes direct eye contact with an old man with a head of silver hair. The man has a firm jaw, and is decorated with battle scars. 

As if a juxtaposition to his intimidating face and stature, he’s wearing a ridiculous dog hat and is dressed in tiny jean shorts and a tropical button up shirt, paired perfectly with a hideous pair of Birkenstocks. It’s the perfect Florida tourist attire. 

His eye twitches as an awkward forced smile spreads across his face.

Garp lifts a brow, staring at him questioningly. 

Sanji snorts beside Ace, and everyone but Garp shares harmonious laughter.

He clears his throat, bowing his head down to Garp. “I’m Zoro. It’s a pleasure to meet you…” he trails off as he returns to his regular height. He scratches his arm, and Garp stares at him blankly.

He gulps, about to bite off his tongue in embarrassment before Garp bursts out into friendly laughter. Garp pats his shoulder (more like personally assaults with the sheer brunt force), and brings him in for a hug. Zoro’s mind blanks.

“Bwahahahahhaha! Come here son! It’s a pleasure to meet the man who’s kept my grandson in check!” Garp shouts, his grin inviting yet extremely nerve inducing.

Zoro laughs nervously, and Usopp gives him a small unseen prayer towards the sky. 

Garp releases him, and the sudden change in force causes him to stumble ever so slightly. 

Luffy bounces up behind him, his hands wrapping around his waist. “Shishishi! Isn’t Zoro awesome, Gramps?!” 

Garp laughs, messing with Luffy’s hair. Garp meets his eye for a moment, expression unreadable. “I can see that. Well, how are my grandchildren! Whip out the beers!” Garp cheers, turning around to Sabo and Ace who he scoops up into his arms, both men gasping as they’re lifted off the ground. 

Zoro has to admit, he’s jealous of Garp’s physique. He’s half tempted to ask his gym regime. Luffy giggles into his arm, before releasing him and tackling his grandpa from behind. 

His grandpa yelps, “Hey, you shitty brat!”

He steps aside, somehow finding his way right next to Usopp and Sanji. The two glance at him just as he does, and return their eyes to the spectacle. It’s honestly amazing to watch— he feels like he’s watching the National Geographic and the story of a family of wild crazy monkeys. 

It’s as if everything is in slow motion as he watches a horrifying battle come to fruition in front of him.

As Garp makes a grand tumble towards the ground— Sabo backflips upwards; balancing in a fighting position. Ace slams against the ground, but within a millisecond he’s back upwards— balancing on the counter tops. Garp deviously grumbles, trapping Luffy in his arms. He tackles Luffy flawlessly, Luffy laughing hystically. 

“You’re weak, gramps!” Luffy yelps, wriggling out of his grasp and leaping forwards. “Bleeeeh!” Luffy sticks his tongue out at his grandpa as he flings himself towards the ceiling— gripping at the monkey bars installed into the roof of their kitchen. 

“You brats! What the hell is that on the roof! Think about the security deposit you idiots!” Garp barks out, a menacing look on his face as he leaps upwards and tackles both Luffy and Ace down in a single motion.

The pair land on the ground, a faint expression on both of their faces as Garp intercepts Sabo’s attack on his back without even turning his head. He holds the blond in a headlock. Garp pinches his ear tightly, and Sabo weezes instantly— struck directly in his weak spot.

“I know your moves, you crazy brats!” He taunts, dropping Sabo atop Luffy and Ace in a pile of wiped out idiots. Garp turns, grumbling as he reaches for a cold beer.

Zoro blinks, and in that one small moment the three pounce back on him. The four of them are instantly wresting again— and it’s definitely not just casual. He’s honestly a little concerned if this is just a family usual. 

“This is honestly art.” Usopp deadpans, staring wistfully at the scene. “People would pay money to watch this.”

Sanji hums, and Zoro can just see the way Sanji traces Ace’s shirtless body— Sanji nervously grabbing at his pockets as his cheeks turn bright red. Zoro turns his head towards Luffy again… only to be met with Luffy being thrown straight at him. 

‘It’s like a missile’ he thinks momentaily, before his eyes widen as Luffy makes contact with his body. He’s sent forward straight into the wall as he hugs Luffy close, bracing for most of the impact.

The pain paired with leg day makes him squeeze his eyes shut with pain, but shakes his head as he slumps forward with Luffy in his lap.

“You idiot! Don’t hurt yourself.” He hisses at Luffy, staring up at anger at Garp. “What the fuck are you thinking?!” He basically yells, watching as Garp’s expression stays still and tight. It’s unreadable, as expected from a war veteran. 

The room is quiet, and Garp’s posture loosens, exiting his battle mode. Ace and Sabo share a glance as Garp steps forward for his abandoned beer. 

The pair leap forward towards Luffy as Usopp and Sanji help them both up. Sabo checks both of their head’s for any bruises while Ace examines Luffy’s face with care— both equally as overbearing. 

“Stoop! Get off me!” Luffy pushes them away as he turns around to check on him. He shakes his head, palming his forehead. 

Luffy frowns, and he just gives Luffy an understanding nod. Luffy always seems to read his mind. He doesn’t have to talk. 

“Gramps, you hurt Zoro!”

Garp gives him a guilty look, taking a swig of his beer. He looks at them, “how else will he be apart of the family?!” He barks back. Luffy blinks, his face blank for a beat before a shit eating grin spreads across his face. 

Sabo and Ace glance backwards at him, giving him a deeply knowing look. He gulps, glancing back at Garp with a deep breath. 

Garp has the exact same look, as Luffy turns back at him with a wide grin.

He smiles, and he can honestly say it’s out of shock and happiness. 

“Now, where’s that delicious smell coming from?! I’m damn hungry!” Garp exclaims, sniffing the air with pleasure. 

“Serve yourself, you shitty old man!” Ace exclaims back, but still walks towards the platters of food. Sanji races behind, feeling obligated as a chef to serve his food. He takes pride, after all.

Zoro leans against the kitchen counter, everyone else rushing forward for food. He just watches the battle as people get plates of food served— closing his eyes and breathing in slightly. 

Glancing upwards, he slightly jumps when Garp sits across from him with a fully loaded plate and two beers. Garp slides one towards him, and he stares at it. It’s daunting.

“I don’t drink anymore, sorry.” He says, and Garp squints at him questioningly.

“That’s alright.” Garp says, as Zoro slides it back over to him. It seems like Garp is about to say something, when there’s a loud, earth shattering knock on the door. Zoro turns to look, as Luffy swings himself towards the door with a huge grin on his face.

He opens the door, shit-eating grin on his face as he welcomes whoever it is. 

In steps Law, resting bitch face on full as he scans the room. Behind him is Kid, who ducks under the door to come in. 

“Traffy! Jaggy!” Luffy exclaims, his scream echoing down the hall before he slams the door shut on his hinges. Luffy swings himself forward on the monkey bars, and Law just barely dodges Luffy’s flying feet.

Garp stands, grinning widely. He leaves his plate and beer abandoned as he crosses the room. “Hey brat! Glad to see you could make it!”

Law smirks as Garp comes to greet him. Garp’s smile is wide, coming in for what seems to be a hug. Zoro is sure Law would kill him if anyone but Kid tried to hug him, and he’s proven this seconds later.

Law ducks under the hug, and swings around Garp to kick him out from under his feet. Garp grumbles when he stumbles, landing in a squatted position. Law smirks, and within a moment he’s rendered useless when Ace shoves a loaf of bread towards him.

Law screams, sending a fist directly at Ace. It lands directly on his stomach, and Ace chokes in pain as he’s sent backwards— slamming directly onto a small shelf holding trinkets and other miscellaneous objects. 

Zoro winces at the sound, as Luffy bursts out into laughter.

Law makes a face, lowering his fist and staring at Garp. 

“Shitty old man! I bet you planned this.” He says, shaking his head. He rubs his hand on his long coat, crossing his arms. “How was your flight?” Law asks anyway, crossing his arms over his chest with all the attitude in the world.

“Bhahahahah! Good, ya little shit.” Garp turns towards Kid, holding his hand out. Kid takes it, a wide smirk on his face. “Can’t believe you brats are still together. I remember the day you two met.”

Law huffs, scowling. “Don’t mention that—“”Met in my station. You two idiots tried to steal the same wallet!” Garp laughs, and Law just groans. 

“Be quiet.” Law says, as Kid hums in deep thought.

“He just couldn’t leave me alone after that.”

“I’m ready to leave.” Law groans in exasperation, and Ace clumsily recovers from the blow.

“Typical!” Ace yells back as Kid tugs him up off the floor. Sabo scoots in beside him, hitting him with his elbow. He glances at him, and lifts a brow.

“I need you to slip away with me in five. Pretty sure Nami is about to go off on these idiots.” He says, pretty casually for such a loaded sentence. Zoro just nods— and like clockwork— the door swings open to reveal Nami in her Care Bear pajamas and clown slippers. She’s holding a wad of mail in her hand, holding it up like a weapon.

He hears Sanji swoon from behind him, a large pair of tongs in hand as he spins around manically. Usopp squeals, ducking under the counter as her eyes angrily scan across the room. 

She pauses when she meets Garp’s eye, her body language hesitant for just a moment before landing on Luffy, still hanging from the monkey bars. Her mouth falls, it seems like she momentarily short circuits.

If this were animated, steam would blow from her ears, he thinks.

“What the hell is going on in here?! Luffy! What the fuck?! You’re losing your security deposit!” She exclaims, her hands falling at her sides. “I can hear you from the damn mailboxes!” 

Garp laughs, “Relax pretty! Have a beer!” 

She squints, questioningly. “And just who the hell are you?” She questions, her grip tightening on the wad of mail. Her eyes read of suspicion, and Zoro has a sneaking feeling she has met Garp before. 

“That’s my grandpa! Join us, Nami!” Luffy says, hanging upside down. His hat and hair dangle in the air, his tongue poking out. “Try my monkey bars!” 

She puffs a spout of air out of her mouth, sighing in resignation. “Pop out the vodka!” She cheers, shutting the door behind her. Zoro winces at the sudden cheers, meeting eyes with Law who does the same. 

Sabo disappears from aside him, and he lifts a brow as he glances around. He sees Sabo slip out into the balcony, and Zoro steps past his partying friends (and he supposes… family?) to meet Sabo outside. Stepping out, the air smells fresh— the wind blowing past his hair violently. 

Sabo hums at him, crossing his arms as he leans against the banister. “I’ll kill you if you hurt Luffy.” He says, voice still and flat. Zoro blinks, not sure what to say when Sabo chuckles in the exact same way Luffy and Ace do. “Just kidding! I brought you out here for something else.” 

Zoro hesitates as he awkwardly chuckles, “What… What is it?” He asks, resting on the banister. 

Someone clears his throat behind him— and he yelps as he turns around. In the corner of the balcony stands a tall, bulky cloaked figure. He gulps, turning back towards Sabo just to see him gone. He turns back, and jumps again when he sees Sabo has joined the cloak figures' side.

“What the fuck?!” 

“It’s nice to meet you, Roronoa Zoro.” The figure says, his voice gruff. Zoro can just barely see the outline of his face. His features are strong and sharp— that of an older man.

“And who are you?” He says, untrusting as he backs up ever so slightly. Sabo chuckles, elbowing the figure.

“Dragon, knock it off.”

Dragon chuckles lowly, and shrugs. “I’m Luffy’s father.” 

Zoro’s mouth drops open in shock, and honestly he thinks his eyes could blow out of his head with the sheer utter surprise. 

“What?!”