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It had been on her mind since the interview ended.
Hannah had known it was Jason who wrote that speech, it wasn’t some secret the writing team had kept during filming. She remembered the way Brett delivered the lines, and the way Jason had stepped in a time or two with notes, a clear execution of the speech in his mind. It was one of the things she loved about him, the way he could so vividly see scenes and characters in the show.
So why now, nearly a year and a half after filming that very scene, was it the only thing she could think about? It should’ve just been a quick bit on the panel hosted by Yvette. Brendan and Brett answered the question, that it was Jason who wrote the “struck by lightning” speech, and they moved on. She should’ve left it at that, left it behind in that full day of Emmy consideration interviews. There were so many different questions that day, so many conversations, she could’ve hyper fixated on absolutely anything else.
But her brain chose this moment.
Because she could hear Brett saying “what was finally there was Jason” in her mind, over and over, an endless reminder that Jason had created one of her favorite speeches from the whole show thus far. And again, this was not new information for Hannah. She knew who was responsible for the scene.
Except this time, right now, her mind had offered her the idea that maybe there was a little more weight to these words than she had originally considered.
Maybe this wasn’t just about Rebecca finding someone who made her feel like she had been struck by lightning.
Maybe it was just as much about Hannah as it was her on-screen character.
No, that was ridiculous.
There was absolutely no reason Jason would write that about her. It was simply for Rebecca’s benefit. It was a speech written to be given by Roy as guidance for Rebecca, a way for her to understand that she finally had people who cared about her, who wanted to see her happy, who needed her to know that she no longer needed to settle for what felt just okay, but instead she should search for what felt electrifying.
Hannah didn’t know it at the time, but she knew now, now that they were deep enough into filming season 3, that it was going to be Ted. It was the ending she had always hoped for, the ending she knew Rebecca Welton deserved, but she’d be a liar if she said she hadn’t doubted it might ever become reality.
She had sent Jason a text after the interview had wrapped, the thought still fresh in her mind.
When did you write the ‘struck by lightning’ speech?
Uh, not sure I remember.
I made some changes after a table read.
Why?
Just curious.
Hannah didn’t know what she had expected. It’s not like he was going to come right out and say he re-wrote the scene after her ex had visited the set. They had met before, a number of times during season 1, but she remembered this specific day for plenty of reasons, and none of them were good. It was a day she wished she could forget, if for no other reason than the look on Jason’s face when she left that night.
It also crossed her mind that maybe Jason really didn’t even remember when he came up with it. The man was constantly creating, always making notes in his phone, or on paper napkins, anything he could find, he would use. So, it would only make sense he didn’t remember, that it was just another good idea on a long list of really good ideas.
But she was also smart enough to realize that ever since her text, something between them had shifted. He was stopping by her trailer more often these days and staying longer than he had before. They were spending weekends together, sometimes with the kids, or other times their friends, but they were always right beside one another, no matter who was with them. It even seemed like maybe he was letting himself flirt more, and of course she was reciprocating, because it would be rude not to, wouldn’t it?
They talked about anything and everything with each other, except one very specific topic.
She knew he was single, heard it straight from Brendan’s lips, and she thought maybe Jason knew she was single too. Hannah hadn’t said anything to him directly, but she had spoken about it around him. Surely, he had heard her at least once.
And yet, they still didn’t discuss it.
Except now she did want to discuss it. Because now she wanted, no, needed, to know if they were on the same page. She needed to know if the flirting was harmless and if the speech was just for the show and she needed to know where they stood because if it was just as friends, she’d figure out a way to deal with her fucking feelings for the benefit of her job.
And if they were on the same page?
She wasn’t entirely sure what she’d do but she’d just cross that bridge when she came to it.
Hannah pulled her phone from her pocket and opened the text thread with his name attached.
Are you around?
Just finished a call with the kids.
Everything okay?
Can I see you?
Sure.
Mine or yours?
I’ll be there in 20.
The door’s unlocked.
Hannah forced herself to focus on anything but what she was about to do while she drove to his house. She thought about the long weekend trip she was planning to surprise her daughter with for her birthday. She thought about how she needed to call her father because it had been a few days since they last spoke. She remembered there was a movie Brett had recommended for her, and she wondered if maybe she’d have time this weekend to watch it.
But once she was parked outside of Jason’s house, all she could focus on was him.
He was there, on the other side of that door, probably wracking his brain as to why she felt it necessary to show up today. Or maybe he already knew. He had a sense of knowing what Hannah was feeling sometimes even before she did. She knew her texts were a bit cryptic, but if she said anything else, she’d completely give herself away. And if she did that, maybe he’d tell her not to come.
Of course, maybe that wouldn’t have been a bad thing.
Hannah knew it was risky even showing up here like this, in plain view, where anyone could see. Jason’s home was just big enough for him and the kids when they were here, and it wasn’t entirely secluded.
Maybe this was a mistake.
Her phone vibrated in her hand, and she looked down to find his name on the screen with a message.
Han, come inside.
She took a deep breath, and then one more, before she exited the car and made her way to the front door. She reached down to turn the knob and let herself in when the door swung open, and Jason was standing on the other side. Fuck, he looked so good. She couldn’t remember the last time she had seen him without some sort of hat, and he was dressed so casually, just a hoodie and some basketball shorts, like he wasn’t planning to leave his house today. His mustache was gray, and it matched the hair at his temples, and she loved it. She knew the temporary dye was necessary for the show, but she loved nothing more than the days he was working behind the scenes, because it meant his gray was showing.
Hannah had spent a majority of the last few days with Jason dressed as Ted, that seeing him as just Jason was oddly comforting.
“Han.”
She smiled at him. “Hi.”
Jason stepped aside and tilted his head, and she took his silent invitation. She had been to his house a few times, always for kid play dates, but they had never been alone.
He closed the door behind her and turned towards the kitchen. “You thirsty? Hungry? Not too sure what the monsters have left untouched but I’m sure I’ve got something.”
She shook her head and followed his lead. “No, I’m alright. Jason, can I ask you something?” Hannah really didn’t feel like dancing around, she just needed answers. Because the sooner Jason told her she was acting completely insane, the sooner she could go back home and drown herself in an overpriced bottle of red wine.
Jason pulled the refrigerator open and retrieved a tall, slim can of Celsius, the same thing she was used to seeing him drink on set. “Lay it on me, Waddingham.”
“Who did you write the lightning speech for?”
He smiled before he opened the can and took a sip, resting it against the counter before he answered. “You’re on this again?”
Hannah nodded once. “Answer the question.”
“I wrote it for Roy to say to Rebecca,” he told her simply. “You know that. You were in the scene.”
She huffed. “And that’s all it was? No hidden meaning?”
Jason chuckled before he took another drink. “Do you want there to be a hidden meaning?”
Hannah shook her head and weighed her options. She could drop this whole thing right now, and he’d end up forgetting she had brought it up once again. Or she could confront him, ask if it had just as much to do with her personal life as it did with her character.
“No, forget I said anything. I should go,” she told him and turned for the front door.
“Hannah,” he called after her.
She turned to face him again. “When did you write it?”
Jason shrugged. “After the first table read for season two.”
Hannah nodded. “That was when my daughter came to visit set with her father.”
“Ah, yep. Yeah, I think I remember that.”
She stared at him hard. “Jason.”
He let out a long breath. “Hannah, why does any of this even matter?”
“Because you make me feel like that, you arsehole!” she exclaimed. “You’ve made me feel like I’ve been struck by fucking lightning since that fucking chemistry read.”
It was out in the open now, and she realized it was probably a little too cliched to use his own words in the moment, but she thought maybe he’d appreciate it. He loved romantic comedies and this entire moment could probably inspire a new film. Hannah watched as quite a few different emotions showed in his eyes, and she suddenly felt nervous standing before him.
Because while she had been thinking about her feelings for him, she had not been thinking about what this would mean for their friendship.
The silence between them might just kill her.
“Jason,” she said softly. “I’m not quite sure I’ve ever seen you quiet for this long.”
His left hand was wrapped around the can he had been drinking from, his right was flat against the counter. “What am I supposed to say, Han? You want me to stand here and tell you I wrote the speech for you, not just Rebecca? That I had no fucking clue how to say how I feel about you to your face, so I wrote it into the script? That I’ve been writing it into the script this entire time? You want me to admit that I’ve spent three years now falling in love with you and I’ve just been waiting for the right time to tell you?”
Hannah blinked. “If it’s the truth, then yes.”
Jason smiled and shook his head. “You’re impossible, you know that?”
“I’ve been told that before,” she answered. “But you don’t have to say it-“
“It’s true,” he said softly. “The lightning speech, I wrote it for Rebecca’s benefit, but it was just as much for you as it was for her.”
Hannah nodded. “And in this real-life scenario, you would be my lightning.”
Jason nodded back. “That is correct.”
“You’re more than just lightning,” she told him quietly. She felt herself getting anxious while he stared at her. “Jason, you’re lightning and sunshine and hurricanes and rainbows and fucking everything in between. And I love you, which drives me fucking mad because you drive me mad, but I’ve never before felt the way I feel when I’m around you. No one’s ever seen me the way you do.”
Hannah looked up and saw him crossing the kitchen to her. She swallowed hard just before his hand slid against her cheek and his lips were pressed to hers and oh my god, he felt so good. She wrapped her hands around his upper arms at first, then slid them up across his shoulders, then finally around his neck, her fingers linking at the nape. She scratched at the back of his scalp gently and felt him moan against her. Jason kept one hand pressed to her cheek, his fingers splayed across her skin, while the other hand was gripping her hip, the pressure from his fingertips just right. His tongue swiped against her lips, and she opened her mouth for him, the sensation of him now sliding against her own tongue elicited a moan that was much dirtier than she had intended for it to be.
She could’ve assumed Jason would have this effect on her, but it still surprised her, nonetheless.
Jason had her pressed against the counter, the edge of the surface cutting deep into her lower back, but she didn’t care. The only thing she was focused on was kissing him.
And then he pulled away from her and she whined.
He laughed lightly. “Easy tiger, I just want to know you’re okay with this.”
Hannah frowned. “Was I not being obvious about that?”
“No, believe me, you were,” he answered. “But this isn’t just some one and done thing for me, Hannah. I know if we take this further it’s going to be complicated and we’ve both got kids involved but I also know how much I love you. And I’m willing to do whatever it takes.”
She smiled back at him. “Jason, I love you. That’s all I need to know we can make this work.”
He nodded slowly. “Can I ask a question?”
“I think it’s only fair. I’ve asked quite a few since I showed up.”
Jason smiled and brushed a piece of hair away from her face. “Are you done with him? For good?”
Hannah nodded. “I am. Are you done with her?” she asked softly.
“You don’t believe what Brendan told you?”
She smiled. “I want to hear you say it.”
He ran his long fingers through his hair, and she felt mesmerized for a moment. “I’m done with her, Hannah. I just want you.”
“Okay,” she said. “Then have me.”
Jason’s lips were on hers again and there was a sense of urgency now. Like he knew exactly what he wanted from her, and what she wanted from him. Hannah let her hands slip up under the hoodie, surprised to find there was no extra layer between him and the soft fabric. His skin was so warm and so soft, and she dragged her nails across the expanse of his back while he licked into her mouth again. His hands tugged at the shirt she had tucked into her jeans, pulling it free and immediately sliding up the front, over the lace of her bra. He cupped each breast and gave them both a quick squeeze, and she could feel the way he smiled against her.
She pulled back and his hands were still up her shirt, and she would probably feel embarrassed by the way they looked right now if she wasn’t so fucking turned on. “You’re an arse, you know that?”
Jason smiled at her, his hands snaking around to the clasp against her back. “Baby, I’m just tryin’ to make you feel good.”
Hannah smiled and ran her fingers through his hair now while he unhooked her bra. “I’m sure you’re going to have no issues with that, my love.”
He pulled his hands from beneath her shirt and found the button of her jeans now, undoing them and shoving them to the floor for her to step out of. “Only one way to find out, right?” His hands slipped to the backs of her thighs, and he lifted her to slide onto the counter. He set her right at the edge before he dropped to his knees in front of her. “Are we crossing this line?”
She laughed and lifted his face up with her finger under his chin. “Jason, I’d like for the line to be invisible by the time we’re done here, please.”
He gave her a quick salute. “Yes ma’am.”
Jason’s fingers slipped between the waistband of her knickers and her skin, and he very slowly pulled them down her legs and let them fall on top of her jeans. When he turned his attention back towards her core, she watched his eyes grow wide. “Hannah Waddingham, you are absolutely fucking beautiful.”
Hannah resisted the urge to buck her hips forward, forced herself to let him work at his own pace, because she really did just want to enjoy this with him. There would be plenty of time in the future for a quick fuck.
At least she hoped there would be.
“Jason Sudeikis, I am very politely asking for you to not be a fucking tease right now,” she shot back, and when he laughed, she could feel his breath hot against her folds. Hannah kept herself propped on her elbows so she could see him, but at the first swipe of his tongue, she felt herself falter and knew she wasn’t strong enough to hold herself up for this.
He ran his tongue through her again and she felt him laugh again. “Christ, Han, did you come over here this wet?”
She shifted slightly in place, her head now tipped towards the ceiling, which she figured might make this a little bit easier. “I’m not going to answer that for you,” she replied.
Jason pressed a kiss to her clit. “Mmhmm, tell me what you were thinking about.”
He lowered his head again, his nose now shoved against her while he used his tongue against her. “I was thinking about you, Jason,” she choked out when he darted his tongue inside of her. “God, I’ve thought about this so much.”
Jason pushed her knees apart and buried his head further between her thighs. Hannah was starting to lose any coherent thoughts as he worked her up, with his mouth and now his fingers. She gasped as he quickly slid one inside of her, and she desperately needed something to hold onto. “You alright, baby?” he asked.
“Fuck, Jason,” she breathed. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
He slipped a second finger inside. “How ‘bout now?”
“Jason, I swear to God-“
He chuckled and slowly started to thrust his fingers inside of her. He created a slow, steady rhythm, and his mouth returned to her clit, and she could feel the way her orgasm was building deep in her stomach. Hannah was absolutely certain no one had ever made her feel this good before. When Jason curled his fingers, and brushed against that perfect spot, she came undone. She clenched around his fingers and let him work her through her high, until she had finally settled, and he eased his fingers out of her.
Hannah lifted herself up onto her elbows again, and she could see how shiny his mustache was while he smiled at her. “You’re a fucking mess,” she told him.
He sucked one finger into his mouth and then the other. “And you’re a fucking goddess.” He lifted himself to his feet and helped her slide off the counter and onto her own feet, even though her legs were a little shaky. She leaned against the edge of the counter, half dressed, with Jason’s arms trapping her in. “Hey, you got any plans tonight?”
Hannah laughed. “No, do you?!”
He shrugged. “Thought maybe I’d have some dinner delivered and then I’d take you upstairs while we wait.”
She leaned in to kiss him and was pleasantly satisfied when she could taste herself on him. “I am rather hungry.”
“What are you in the mood for? Tacos, pasta, pizza, thai?”
She smiled and pulled him closer, her hands fisted in his hoodie. “You.”
Jason ducked his head and rested it on her shoulder. “Absolute trouble, goddamn Hannah. Come on.” He linked his fingers in hers and pulled her upstairs to his bedroom and they were a mess of hands and clothes as soon as they crossed the threshold. He lifted her off her feet with one arm wrapped around her waist, and the other extended out behind her as they fell back onto the mattress. She had her hands cupped against his cheeks, pulling his face down to hers so she could kiss him. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against hers. “I love you, Han.”
Hannah smiled back at him. “You forgot to order dinner, my love.”
He laughed and kissed her again. “After, baby. I’m sure this’ll be quick.”
“Hey Jason,” she said softly.
“Hmm?”
She rubbed her thumb against his cheekbone. “I love you too.”
Jason kissed her once more before he lined himself up with her entrance, and she held her breath for just a moment. Because while she knew things would never be the same between them after tonight, she was also incredibly aware of how intimate this suddenly felt to her. It had been a long time since she had been vulnerable with any man and being vulnerable with Jason seemed even more intimidating than she could’ve anticipated. She loved him, loved every single thing about him, and she just hoped she’d get to spend a long time loving him.
He pushed inside of her, and she was momentarily stunned by the sheer size of his dick. He allowed her enough time to adjust as he moved deeper and deeper, until he had bottomed out, and they were both quiet for a moment.
“Han?” he finally asked quietly.
She nodded. “I’m good, babe. You can move.”
His movements were slow at first, giving her more time to adjust and get used to him. And then his left hand came down to her breast, his fingers pinched around her nipple, and she clenched, which caused him to jerk his hips a bit harder than he had been previously.
“Fuck,” she gasped and as his hips sped up, so did his fingers. They tweaked and pulled at one nipple, before he switched to the other, his right hand still firmly planted beside her head to keep him propped above her.
Jason snapped his hips forward and she could tell he was searching for his relief. “Take what you need, baby,” she whispered. “I’m okay.”
“God, Hannah, fuck. You feel so fucking good,” he grunted. “So good.”
She smiled and pushed the hair back off his forehead, and she watched the way he bit his bottom lip between his teeth. “You feel great, love.”
Jason slid his hand down from her chest over her stomach and pressed his thumb hard against her clit, rubbing tight circles while he continued to thrust into her. Her orgasm was building again, and she could tell by the way his hips had started to falter that he was close. She dropped her own hand to her breast now, repeating the same movements he had just been doing moments before. Jason pushed her over the edge when he dropped his mouth to her throat and sucked her skin into his mouth. She was unraveling at the sensation of every single movement between them and then she felt him pull out just seconds before he came across her stomach.
“Fuck,” he whispered before he fell to the bed beside her, his arm draped across her chest as they both caught their breath. Jason pressed a quick kiss to her shoulder before he rolled off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. She shamelessly watched his ass as he walked away and giggled when he caught her still staring when he returned. He shook his head as he crawled back onto the bed, wiping her stomach dry, before he tossed the towel to the floor and rested his chin at her hip so he could stare up at her.
Hannah peeked down at him. “What?”
He smiled, and his dimples were so prominent right now, she wished she could reach to poke her nail in them. “That was a helluva lot better than what I had imagined.”
She rolled her eyes. “Such a gentleman.”
Jason laughed. “Actually, I was thinkin’ about how I managed to manifest you as Rebecca. Because if that hadn’t have happened, our paths may have never crossed.” He pressed a kiss to her hip bone. “My life is better with you in it, Han.”
She bit her lip and scrunched her nose at him, and she could feel the sting of tears in the corners of her eyes. “Only you could go from fucking me like that to making me cry in a matter of minutes.”
He smiled and moved further up her body. “What can I say, I’m a man of many talents?” He kissed in the middle of her chest, between her breasts. “So, whaddya say? You wanna stay for dinner? We could turn on a movie too. Hopefully something grown up. I watched enough Disney movies last week to last a lifetime.”
Hannah nodded. “Dinner and a movie sound wonderful.”
Jason slipped out of bed again and crossed over to his dresser, where he retrieved a black tee and some sweatpants before he handed them to her. “Get dressed, then we can go decide on dinner.”
She sat up and slipped the shirt over her head before standing in front of him and stepping into the gray sweats. “Jason?” He looked up at her as he pulled his basketball shorts back on. “You know you’ve always felt like lightning to me.”
Jason smiled and leaned in to kiss her. “That’s fascinating, because you feel like sunshine to me.”
Hannah smiled and shook her head. “Let’s go, before I get you right back into that bed.”
“Oh don’t worry, honey, I’m gettin’ you back in that bed after dinner.”
Thank God for that, she thought.