Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The moonlight flooded in through Schlatt's curtains. He was currently looking for his communicator in the dark room. This was the day. He had already written a short letter and placed it on his dresser.

C'mon Schlatt. We all know you want to. Just do it already.

Schlatt pushed the thoughts away. He was going to. He needed to do something first.

He found his communicator. He clicked on Wilbur's contact. He hovered over the keyboard, unsure of what to say. His mind was suddenly blank.

Don't worry, we'll help you~

The thoughts whispered in his ear. It flicked nervously. His tail hung between his legs. He didn't understand why he was no nervous all of a sudden!

Maybe it's because...you don't want to disappoint him. You know you're scared of death and losing him~

The thoughts laughed around him. Schlatt flattened his ears to his head. He knew they were right. So he just needed to get it over with.

<To: Wilbur Soot> Hey Wilbur

<To: Wilbur Soot> I know you wont see this until next the morning cause its night right now

<To: Wilbur Soot> But...

<To: Wilbur Soot> I wanted to tell you this

<To: Wilbur Soot> I'm not going to be here tomorrow.

<To: Wilbur Soot> Before I go, I need to get a few things off my chest.

<To: Wilbur Soot> I never hated you, first of all.

<To: Wilbur Soot> I dont know how you could've thought that. 

<To: Wilbur Soot> I just...

<To: Wilbur Soot> I couldnt bear to see your disappointed look when I got chosen for president.

<To: Wilbur Soot> I also could see that you weren't going to be a good president by the way your eyes had a crazed look in them. 

<To: Wilbur Soot> Turns out i wasnt either :)

<To: Wilbur Soot> I'm so sorry

<To: Wilbur Soot> I didnt know it would turn out this way

<To: Wilbur Soot> Youd be such a better president than me wilbur

<To: Wilbur Soot> i dont know what i was thinkign

<To: Wilbur Soot> idec if your mad at me

<To: Wilbur Soot> i honsley desrve ut

Tears began to spill over. He quickly wiped them away so he could type clearer.

<To: Wilbur Soot> Sorry, water got on my face. 

<To: Wilbur Soot> I'm disappointed in myself for letting it get this way.

<To: Wilbur Soot> I'm sorry for publicly executing Tubbo like that. 

<To: Wilbur Soot> I was angered.

<To: Wilbur Soot> Wilbur.

<To: Wilbur Soot> I've always looked up to you. 

<To: Wilbur Soot> Everything you've said to me is true. 

<To: Wilbur Soot> I'm just a bad person. 

<To: Wilbur Soot> So please.

<To: Wilbur Soot> Don't miss me.

<To: Wilbur Soot> Move on and make L'Manburg great once again.

<To: Wilbur Soot> Tell Tubbs that I'm sorry. 

<To: Wilbur Soot> Same to Tommy.

<To: Wilbur Soot> Grieving over me is a waste.

<To: Wilbur Soot> One last thing.

<To: Wilbur Soot> Ever since we were kids, I've loved you Wilbur.

<To: Wilbur Soot> And I still do. 

<To: Wilbur Soot> This is for you and you only.

<To: Wilbur Soot> Don't show everyone else. 

<To: Wilbur Soot> They'll think I'm drunk again.

<To: Wilbur Soot> Goodbye Wilbur. 

And with that, he switched over to the server chat.

<Jschlatt> Hey everyone

<Jschlatt> I hope you're all happy without me!

<Jschlatt> Cause I'll be gone once you all wake up

<Jschlatt> But don't worry!

<Jschlatt> It'll be better this way.

<Jschlatt>Goodbye.

He sighed, done with messaging. He slowly turned to his bed.

Laying there was a sharp knife, glistening in the moonlit spot. He walked over and picked it up. Held it to his chest. And before he plunged it into his heart, he whispered-

"I hope this is the right decision"

He stabbed the knife deep into his heart. Just to make it more painful, he twisted and dragged the knife downward and roughly took it out.

A metallic taste was on his tongue.

He saw black spots in his vision.

And he blacked out.

<Server> Jschlatt stabbed himself to death

Chapter Text

The sun started to peek over the horizon, waking some of the early birds so they could look at the sunrise.

As the sun rose higher in the sky, more and more people woke up and got ready for the day. So far, nobody saw the messages that got sent the day prior.

The hybrids of Schlatt's cabinet (Quackity, Tubbo and Fundy) hesitantly got ready for their job. Everyday they wondered why they chose this as their life right now. As usual, they went downstairs to have breakfast. They were glad that Schlatt wasn't down yet. They figured he just had a hangover. Still, no one saw the messages from yesterday.

When Schlatt didn't make an appearance in the downstairs area for a long time, Fundy started to get worried. As much as he hated this job and the way Schlatt handled it, he still had some respect for the ram.

"Hey, don't yall think Schlatt's taking a long time? He still hasn't come down to start ordering us around."

At the mention of this, Quackity and Tubbo realized that Schlatt, in fact, had not come down at all.

"Yea, now that you mention it, I didn't hear Schlatt making noise at all when I passed his room. Usually I can hear soft snores coming from the other side of the door", Tubbo stated. Quackity's wings fluffed in concern. (He hated when his wings moved without his permission)

"Why don't we wait a little while longer? He might just be stuck on the toilet or something", Quackity suggested. He was having a nice time with the other two hybrids without the president around. He wasn't about to give it up because they were worried about his schedule.

So, they waited.

And waited.

…And waited.

Finally, Tubbo jumped up off the couch and exclaimed, "Ok, Schlatt's taking WAY too long! I'll be back, I guess I'll have to drag his ass down here myself!" He ran upstairs before the other two could protest. Quackity and Fundy stared at each other, contemplating if they should or should not go after him. They didn't have to wonder though, because their thoughts were cut of by a loud shriek. They heard a thump follow after. They didn't need to be told twice to check up on Tubbo.

"I swear, if Schlatt hurt him again I'm going to kill him myself", Fundy growled. He's not the most open/out person on the server, but Tubbo's grown on him. Same with Quackity. Even if he didn't outright say it, Fundy could tell that Quackity was thinking the same thing just my his aura.

When they got to Schlatt's room, they were surprised to find a somewhat scared-looking Tubbo sitting on the floor next to Schlatt's room. They shared a confused glance before rushing to Tubbo's side.

"Tubbo what happened!?" "Why did you scream!?" They said at the same time. Tubbo seemed surprised by the questioned flung at him. He quickly composed himself and slowly released his fluffy ears from the hold on his head.

After some time, Tubbo finally whispered "...I think it's best if you see it for yourself." The other two were confused on why Tubbo was so scared. It was Schlatt, yea, but what could he do? So, they gathered up their courage and swung the door open. (They were both a nervous wreck, but of course they weren't going to admit that)

"Schlatt, what the hell is taking you so lo-" Fundy stopped mid-sentence when his eyes laid on Schlatt. Quackity poked his head in the room and paled.

In the middle of the room was a corpse.

Not just any corpse, Schlatt's corpse.

(Oh my god, he was dead, he was right there, unmoving, not breathing, not doing anything why wasn't he moving whywasn'thealiveohmygodthisCAN'TBEREAL-)

Surprisingly, Quackity was the first person to rush to Schlatt's side. He didn't care if his feet got covered with blood because of the large puddle surrounding the Ram.

"Hey, hey, Schlatt, wake up man! This isn't funny! C'MON MAN, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DIE!" Quackity was kinda panicking. Ok, scratch that, he was definitely panicking. Meanwhile, Fundy was staring into Schlatt's lifeless eyes. They sometimes flickered to the large gash on his chest before staring into those dull eyes once more. As for Tubbo, he was trying not to think of the current event happening. He knew that Schlatt wasn't acting like himself lately, (which was good) but he didn't expect for him to kill himself. Why didn't he just tell them he had suicidal thoughts!?

You know the reason to that, the traitorous line of thought said. And it was true. They all treated him like shit and he probably heard them talking behind his back. None of them knew it was deteriorating his mental health...

...How were they going to break it to everyone else?

Chapter Text

After getting situated (composed) again, Tubbo brought up the subject of breaking the news to the server. They realized that they had no idea on how to tell the rest.

"Uh...how about we just type in the chat?" Quackity suggested. Tubbo shook his head, "That'll make us look like cowards and babies. We can take death, it's happened before." But, truth be told, he honestly wanted to take that way too.

While they were coming up with ideas, Fundy noticed a piece of paper on Schlatt's nightstand.

"Hey guys," He said, interrupting their conversation, "I found a slip of paper over here. There's writing on it. I think we should include it." The other two look at him with dread in their eyes. It was obvious that none of them wanted to read a suicide note. Nonetheless, they read it over (with tears in their eyes) before deciding that it would be included.

"So," Tubbo said, "We should definitely do this as a server announcement at the podium."

"It would gain everyone's attention, so everyone would know." The others nodded along to what he was explaining. It was the best situation. And if someone was in disbelief, the body was still in the room, since they couldn't bring themselves to touch his cold, dead corpse.

"Well, let's do this." Even if his voice was shaky, he still had a tone of slight determination under that. This day would either be a celebration, or a grieving session.

"Everyone!" Quackity called out. Everyone on the server was gathered at the L'manburg podium, even the exiled ones and the ones who weren't in L'manburg. They were all confused as to why Schlatt wasn't there.

"Today, something fatal has happened to L'manburg's president." Gasps could be heard emitting from the crowd. Was he injured badly? Was he gone? Did he become a hostile mob? (As if he wasn't one already- I mean, what?)

Nobody was prepared for what came out of Quackity's mouth next.

"Everyone...Schlatt is...dead."

...Total silence. If you listened closely enough, small, quiet gasps could've been heard. Not long after, the crowd started to murmur to one another. How did he die? Did he go too far? Did they murder him? Did he die from alcohol poisoning? This message just made them even more confused, with a hint of sadness.

"I know you all want to know how he died. So listen up." The chatting stopped in an instant.

"So...this morning, we got the chance to enjoy our morning alone. Just the three of us. No Schlatt yelling at us to hurry up, no threats, no nothing. It was nice an peaceful, ya'know? Now, before you start asking why this is important, it is so just don't. later on, we realized that it was too nice. Too peaceful. And Schlatt hadn't made his way downstairs yet." This got worried stared from some of them.

He carried on, "We agreed to wait a little longer to see if he would come downstairs. He did not, we waited for an hour. That's when Tubbo decided to check up on him. We thought that he maybe slept in, or had gotten stuck on something. We did have our worries, and they intensified when we heard Tubbo scream from upstairs." The crowd listened attentively, enraptured in the telling of this death.

"When we rushed upstairs, we expected to see Schlatt possibly hurting Tubbo in some way. Like usual. But, our expectations were thwarted when we saw Tubbo shaking, sat next to Schlatt's room. Of course, we checked on him first, since he was the one who was possibly in danger. But when he told us to check the ram's room, what we saw would haunt us forever." He paused. He opened his mouth to explain further, but found that he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to re-live the events that happened prior.

So instead he said, "Fundy, please take over." Fundy complied, knowing it was hard for Quackity. They did date at one point after all.

"What we saw wasn't pretty." He started. "...We saw Schlatt lying on the ground with a large gash across his chest." A series of gasps, 'what's, 'no's and 'you can't be serious's rang out. Fundy held up his paw to silence them.

"He was lying in a large pool of his own blood with a knife in one of his hands. It was obviously a...suicide."

Silence. Total silence.

When Fundy looked over the crowd, he was surprised at what he saw.

Scared and shocked faces and sadness. Some even had tears escaping from their eyes. Deaths really do things to people huh? If it hadn't happened already, good memories of Schlatt came flooding back to everyone.

After a very long pause, Fundy continued, "There was a note from Schlatt. It reads, 'Sorry for being an ass to you three. I hope you guys can get better without me around. And look, I didn't get the sheets dirty! So now you don't have to clean them...'" Fundy trailed off. "'I want Quackity to be the new president. Since he was my vice, he should get the position.'" Fundy didn't add the part where it said for Quackity to not put too much strain on himself.  Everyone seemed to agree with this statement. They all agreed that Quackity would be a good (and better) president.

"If you all look into the main chat, you will see that he posted some...things." Everyone did as he said. Then the whole situation just became sadder. Fundy noticed that Puffy started to cry harder. He knew that they were siblings, so it must've been very hard for her to lose a loved one.

~Meanwhile, with Tommy and Wilbur~

How was Wilbur?

He was incredibly shocked. And somewhat saddened by the news. Against his will, repressed memories of when they were kids came back to him. They had so much fun when they were kids. And now he's gone. Wilbur suddenly realized how much he had been missing those days. He had been clouded up by his newfound anger and hatred towards him that he forgot Schlatt could be a good friend.

He tried (and failed) to hold back his tears.

"Hey...you ok bigman?" Tommy asked. Surprisingly, he looked somewhat concerned as well. I guess an unexpected death will make someone mellow.

Tommy put his hand on Wilbur's shoulder for comfort. He gave Wilbur a small reassuring smile. Wilbur returned it. Even if Tommy was an annoying gremlin child, he was still a good brother and comforter.

When they all looked into the main chat, Wilbur noticed that there were several messages from Schlatt in their private messages.

I'll check 'em out later. Wouldn't want to make a scene in front of the whole SMP.

~Later, at Pogtopia~

Wilbur was about to look at the messages. He was one of the first people to leave asap so he could be alone. He opened the messages but didn't scroll down.

Honestly, do I want to see them? They're bound to be f-ed up.

After a minute of inner turmoil, he summoned all of his confidence and read the texts.

Every. Single. One.

As soon as he finished, his emotional wall completely broke. Every text was a stab to his soul and the repressed memories slapped him in the face. He curled on himself, clutching the communicator as if it was his life source. He knew that he shouldn't have been allowed to grieve Schlatt like this but he couldn't help it. With every sob came a reminder- 

You Failed.

~Tommy~

Dang, that was emotional. He wasn't expecting everything that happened. A part of him felt relieved that the main problem was gone. But another part of him felt sad. Not because of the death, but because of Wilbur. He could tell that something was wrong as soon as Wilbur started to cry at the gathering. After Wilbur ran off, Tommy tried to run after him. He knew that Wilbur was going to be a wreck for the next week or so.

Why does he care about Schlatt so much though? The thought randomly occurred to him. All he saw in Schlatt was a dictator and a tyrant. Nothing more, nothing less. He pushed the thought to the back of his brain, he had to find Wilbur.

...

Ok, running all the way to Pogtopia wasn't a good idea.

—

I think I found him. Tommy was near the rooms and he heard a muffled noise, like someone was softly crying. The closer he got, the more painful it sounded. He stopped in front of Wilbur's room.

Should I, or should I not go in there? He didn't want to deal with a crying person. But...Wilbur was pain and he wasn't going to allow that. So, despite his brain telling him otherwise, he quickly and silently entered the room.

The sight wasn't pretty.

Wilbur was a mess. He was curled up on his bed while loudly sobbing. His communicator looked like it was about to be crushed by how tightly he gripped it. Not to mention how horrible and untidy his room was. It was as if Wilbur's mental state threw up in there.

Tommy rushed over to Wilbur. He gently took the communicator from his hands. Thankfully, Wilbur was too far in his head to notice what was happening around him. He clicked out of the messages, he didn't dare to look at them. If they made his brother like this, they were going to make Tommy shut down. He sat behind his brother and combed his fingers through his hair.

Just like how he used to calm me. Tommy continued to soothe Wilbur before an odd thought crossed his brain.

When did I start considering Wil as a brother again? He shrugged it off. Wilbur was calming down and that's all that mattered.

~Wilbur~

Breaking down was not fun. He felt like he couldn't breathe, yet all he could do was cry. His head was foggy and jumbled and he hurt all over. He felt small and vulnerable and he hated every second of it.

One thing that he could hear clearly was a repeat of a chant.

Failure. Failure. Failure. Failure. Failure. Failure.

STOP IT! He tried to push them away. Every time he tried, they came back louder and stronger. He clenched his hands in his hair and pulled. He needed something, anything to distract him from the pain.

He didn't notice another presence until he felt someone rubbing his head. They took his hands from his hair and gently squeezed. They started to rub his head in a pattern, slowly bringing Wilbur from his muddle of pain.

"It's alright, it's alright", he heard the presence mumble. Why were they helping him? Didn't he deserve the pain this brought?

They continued to soothe him until Wilbur moved. Their movements stilled. Wilbur looked over and was surprised to see-

"Tommy...?"

Tommy gave a sigh of relief.

"Hey there Wil. You good now? That there was a pretty bad panic attack." I would know went unsaid.

Wilbur stared at Tommy for a while before slowly nodding. He had a confused look on his face, like he was surprised that Tommy would do that for him.

After a while, Wilbur spoke up. "Why..." he started, "would you help me with...that?" Tommy stared back at him before realizing Wil was being genuine.

"Oh, well, you uh, obviously needed help, so being the great brother I am, I helped you!" Tommy put on a proud face, yet Wilbur could see through it.

"Soooo, mind telling my why you did that, exactly?" Of course. He knew tommy would want answers. He sighed. Knowing him, he won't stop 'till I spill. What's the harm in doing so?

Tommy was definitely going to break under the weight of other's problems.

Chapter Text

Wake up.

He twitched.

Wake up.

His chest stung.

Wake up.

His head swam with dizziness and he groaned. All at once, many memories came crashing into him.

He woke with a start. He then frantically looked around. Whipped his head in all directions.

Ah, sh- He shouldn't have done that. He got hit with another wave of dizziness and he held his head. When it died down, he stared at his hands. They were...

Translucent!?

What!?

He needed to see the rest of him. He opened up his inventory. Looking at himself in the mirror-like box, he gaped at what he saw.

He looked completely different! He was translucent and grey! He had a blue sweater on! There was a gash stitched on going from his heart down. If he lifted his shirt, he could see the real one. It looked painful.

But overall, his real shock was that he was a GHOST!

Wh-what? He continued to stare. Did I lose all of my lives? Dangit, I should've kept track.

Now, Schlatt wasn't the kind to panic. But he was definitely panicking. He had so much to do! He was president! He had a nation to run!

He quickly exited the van and went to L'manburg.

Quickly, quickly, quickly! He had no time to register that his feet weren't touching the ground. Nor was he running.

—

When he arrived to his destination, he first noticed that the obsidian wasn't there anymore. What he saw was-

A wasteland. Destruction. A gaping hole of where his precious nation used to stand proudly. Now, it was nothing but a faded memory.

...

Was this really what was left of it? A PIT left to rot!?

He looked on with...anguish.

But, he didn't understand why. Why was he feeling this sadness? He racked his brain for a reason, any sliver of this emotion, just to draw blanks. All he had stored were awful memories.

Schlatt slid to the ground.

He couldn't even remember his own death.

Pathetic.

"Friend! Friend where are youuu!?" Ghostbur cupped his hands around his mouth.

"Frieeeeeend!" He heard a faint baa in the distance. It's coming from L'manburg? He thought. Odd. He shrugged it off. He loved that place anyway.

Ghostbur glided through forests and swerved gracefully around trees. He loved flying. Eventually, Ghostbur arrived to L'manhole. He easily spotted Friend.

"Friend! There you are! I got so worried. Don't you ever sneak off again, ya hear?" He gently scolded the blue sheep. As much as he didn't like that Friend wandered off, he could never yell at him. Friend was just too lovable.

As he was going to leave, a figure caught his eye.

Hm?

He put Friend on a leash and dragged him along. As Ghostbur got closer, he started to make out who they were. They started to look more and more like-

"Schlatt?"

The ram snapped his head up in response. Ghostbur was ecstatic.

"SCHLATT! I can't believe you're here! I haven't seen you in months! How've you been? Ooh, there's so much we need to catch up on! We should go somewhere e-"

He stopped.

Schlatt was not happy to see him. But he was not angry. He looked...scared. Ghostbur could clearly see the raw fear in his eyes.

"...Schlatt? What's wrong?" He approached him in a slow manner. Schlatt flinched and backed away. He couldn't look him in the eyes. Ghostbur took this time to fully look at him.

He realized, Schlatt was a ghost. A ghost.

"Schlatt...oh...how did you-?" He crouched in front of the trembling figure. Schlatt continued to avoid any contact with him.

"Schlatt, please...talk to me."

...

"Don't...call me Schlatt, Wilbur." Schlatt's voice was shaky but held a firm tone. Ghostbur was taken aback by the way the he spat his alive self's name with such venom.

"Oh! Are you referring to my alive self? That's not my name anymore. I'm Ghostbur! Let's go from the start." He held out his hand. Schlatt looked at it carefully. Hesitantly, he shook Ghsotbur's hand.

"...Ghost Schaltt. No, Glatt. Glatt."

Glatt. It- was a nice fit.

"Well, Glatt, I'm afraid I don't remember how you died. See, I only remember things that make me happy, so I don't remember your death." Glatt looked at Ghostbur with disbelief.

"What? You don't believe me? Well, what don't believe is how you managed to become a ghost so far after you died. Explain that!" Ghostbur crossed his arms in a matter-of-fact-ly way.

"Well, I, uh. Don't know, actually. All I know is that I was alive one moment and then I was dead the next. I'm a ghost inside a van. I don't remember anything good about alive me's life, though."

Ghostbur paled at that last sentence. As much as a gray being can.

"You don't remember your own death? But I thought you said you only remembered the bad things." He trailed off. In that moment, they both realized what that meant.

"I wanted to die."

"You wanted to die."

They said it at the same time. They locked eyes. One pair, filled with concern and the other pair with no emotion, much like a daze.

Silently, Ghostbur hugged Glatt. He tensed up, clearly unused to physical touch and affection.

"Don't resist. You need this. You're obviously not ok. Just let it out." Everything Glatt had been holding in came rushing back.

It felt like balls of flame were pushing at his eyes. Finally, he broke and let the tears freely flow. Big crocodile tears ran down his face. He wailed and it broke Ghostbur's heart. How could so much despair emit from one person?

"There we go. Just let it all out." Ghostbur soothingly rubbeed Glatt's back. The tears were burning him, but he could care less in that moment. He would clean up the blue blood later.

...

"Are you ok now?" Glatt nodded and sniffed. He calmed down enough to function properly. Ghostbur gave him a small smile and took his hand. Glatt blushed a little from the gesture. He still wasn't used to being the recipient of affection, even after that long hug.

"I'll show you around the place. There are so many people you have to re-meet! First, I'll take you to Niki's bakery. Her sweets will instantly cheer you up! Oh, and, and! Puffy has great therapy, she'll help you with that sadness!"

Glatt could only listen while being dragged along. It might be his imagination, but he was sure the blue sheep just gave him a knowing look. Oh well. Animals are weird. But he didn't mind Ghostbur's endless chatter. He needed something to get him out of his head. And, well...maybe he liked Ghostbur. It couldn't hurt having a friend again, right?

Right?