Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Ah, you made it!”

Mizuki opens the door to the rooftop, stepping into the blinding light. It’s just barely twelve in the afternoon, right in the middle of fourth period, and the sun sits high in the sky.

Skipping class, or school all together, is something that isn’t unfamiliar to Mizuki at all. In fact, it’s what they’re known for at school, so they don’t worry about the idea that someone will miss them in their math class. Instead, they had found their feet walking up the stairway to the roof.

When Mizuki first ventured to the rooftops back in middle school, they had assumed it would have been empty. No one ever visited the rooftop, as far as they knew, and really they were just seeking solitude. Away from the watchful and judgemental gazes their classmates never tried to hide.

It was there they first met the infamous Rui Kamishiro.

Now, Mizuki sighs at the sight of Rui’s back, who had perked at the sound of the swinging door. “How do you beat me to the rooftops everytime, Rui?”

He shrugs, a smile in his voice. “Maybe because I’m just so excited to see you that I end up getting here too early?”

Mizuki remembers a time when they would’ve scoffed at that, maybe ask him what was wrong with him, or just roll their eyes at his unbearable humor. (Middle school Mizuki was someone that Mizuki now would’ve called downright miserable. Not that they weren’t miserable anymore, but they’ve certainly gotten better at hiding it.)

Middle school Mizuki would’ve even shut the door on Rui, only to open it again when they hear Rui exclaim in surprise and apologize for the cheesy joke. Now, they only exhale in amusement, letting the door shut behind them as they go sit beside Rui. He’s kneeling in front of the chain link fence, which looks out onto the outdoor pathways of Kamiyama and the few students who stroll around during their free period. It’s reminiscent of their middle school days where they sat together on the rooftop until the sun set and the air turned cold, watching the students wander like ants.

It’s been a while since they have been here, on this very rooftop, with Rui. The last time was probably when Rui called them up here after their little outing in the woods, so they were surprised to hear Rui’s drone circling the school again this morning, feeling a sense of deja vu.

(They assumed that meant he was on the rooftop testing something again and gave a wave at the machine. It was a surprise to see it spin in response and then fly off again.)

Mizuki turns to look at Rui, who’s been quiet since they had sat down. He’s tinkering with a small box and they watch him quietly as his fingers work his magic.

They’re quick, a blur of movement as he quickly assembles what seems to be the final piece to his puzzle and lifts it up with a proud smile.

“What’d you make?” Mizuki asks, leaning their head onto their knees. Rui shoves the box into a plush, zipping it closed, before finally looking up at them (because whenever he’s working, he never looks away from his creation. It was impressive though, how he managed to hold a conversation by building. His multi-tasking was definitely better than theirs) and gestures it towards Mizuki.

“Would you please do the honors of pressing this button here?”

“Please don’t tell me it’s another Tsukasa voice box…” Mizuki takes the toy, suspicious. It’s a cat plushie, small enough to hold in one hand, and Mizuki can feel the box inside the center of its body. The stuffed animal itself is not heavily detailed either, just a small tabby cat that’s quite plain and simply made but still extremely cute.

Rui chuckles, “It’s not. Try it.”

Mizuki glances at him, uncertainty in their eyes, and presses on the button. To be completely honest, they aren’t sure what they were expecting in the first place. Another toy with Tsukasa’s voice coming out of it, maybe cats meowing, maybe Rui’s voice itself. Instead, a song starts to play.

It’s an old tune, a little familiar before it hits the chorus and Mizuki suddenly realizes where they’d first heard it from.

Middle school, on the rooftop that was similar to the one they’re sitting at right now. Mizuki’s half asleep, leaning onto Rui’s shoulder because they liked bothering him while he tried to work (not that he complained though. He never did). They remembered hearing a soft tune through the heavy thickness of their sleep and let out a soft breath they didn’t realize they were holding, relaxing their body more into Rui’s side. Remembered how he had adjusted his shoulder so it would be more comfortable for them, how he had stayed so very still even while trying to build his drone.

It’s the tune that he had played for them to listen to, another time when they were hanging out on the rooftop, where he had sworn up and down that this was the best song he had ever heard in his very long life of fourteen years. Mizuki had laughed then, holding onto their earbud so it wouldn’t slip as they giggled. Rui, who was jokingly throwing a fit, had removed his own earbud.

“Oh come back, drama queen. I like it.” Mizuki laughed, holding out the earbud he had dropped.

Rui pouted, sitting back down beside them. “Of course you do, it’s only the greatest song ever to exist.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Mizuki put the earbud back in his left ear, scooting closer so the wire didn’t get pulled too far from each other. “Next song’s my pick.”

And it’s the same tune that’s playing from the toy cat and Mizuki glances up at Rui to find him watching them, nervously biting the inside of his lip.

“Perhaps, do you… remember this song?” He asked cautiously, his voice soft.

And Mizuki’s watching how his tongue darts out to wet his lips because god he’s nervous and Mizuki doesn’t really know why he is but they do know that they’re taking a little too long to respond because they’re so distracted about the fact that: one, he remembered their song from two years ago just as they had; and two he’s suddenly sitting closer than they had remembered and it was getting really hard to think clearly when they could feel the heat from his shoulder on theirs.

Mizuki can’t put a name to the feelings they feel towards Rui. They’re more than acquaintances, friends maybe but even then it feels strange to just be friends. Not when they’ve shared so many things that they would never repeat to another person.

Since middle school, Mizuki’s feelings in general were muddled and mixed and utterly confusing and this isn’t the exception to that fate. But if they were being completely honest with themselves, they think they might have liked Rui at some point back then.

(Because he was the only friend they had. The only person they had to accompany them in a very, very long time. It was bound to happen, they just denied it every time it came up. In the end, everything seems to begin in those junior high years.)

“Of course I do, Rui. It’s only the best song ever, isn’t it?” Mizuki says, looking back at the toy as they feel their face heat up slightly. “I’m surprised you still remember it, actually.”

“Hey, I recommended it, didn’t I? What kind of person would I be if I didn’t remember it myself?” Rui smiles, the nervousness in his body disappearing in an instant. He quickly leans over, moving closer to point at the toy in Mizuki’s hand, where his shoulder brushes against theirs .“If you switch this here, it starts dancing, watch.”

Rui’s hand grasps over Mizuki’s, warm and light, flipping the switch on the back of the toy and takes it gently out of their hand to place it onto the ground in front of the two of them. His shoulder is pressed against theirs and they don’t want to move. Even when he pulls back, Mizuki can still feel his hand on theirs, the warmth lingering.

The cat’s dancing now, arms swinging to the beat with such musical accuracy that if Mizuki didn’t know better, they’d think it was alive. They gasp and clap their hands as it spins without toppling over. The effort Rui must have put into it makes Mizuki feel a little nervous. They wonder if he made it for them, but the thought is a little selfish because of course he would’ve created it for his shows, not for Mizuki. Still, the thought makes Mizuki’s cheeks warm a little.

Mizuki turns to him again, eyes trailing over his face as they watch him proudly watch his robot. He’s smiling with such joy, such freedom that Mizuki hasn’t seen in him ever since they first knew him, that they can’t help but feel happy that at least Rui had found himself a way out of the loneliness they used to share.

Mizuki’s eye’s fall back onto his lips, which are curled in the corners into a soft smile as the toy cat twirls and bows out of the corner of their eye. They didn’t realize that the song had ended and the quiet, yet comfortable, silence had fallen over the two of them until Rui looks back at Mizuki with a quirk of his eyebrow.

“Did you enjoy the performance?” He tilts his head in question and Mizuki watches how he makes out the words, how his lips sound out the letters. They wonder how they look so soft, how they would feel under their fingertips, or their own-

“Mizuki?”

The sound snaps them out of their daze, blinking rapidly to get their brain to kickstart. Mizuki starts, “I liked it. It’s incredible how you got it to move exactly to the beat.”

They tuck their hair behind their ear, fidgeting, “It’s also super cute, did you make the plush part too?”

Rui shrugs. “It’s a little messy if I were to tell the truth. Stuffing it was easy enough but I’m not nearly as good at sewing as you are. It’s also pretty plain…”

Misuki scoffs, shoving his shoulder lightly with their elbow. “Oh please, always so humble, aren’t you?”

He laughs, barely phased by Mizuki’s push. “I mean, I did make it plain on purpose. It’s for you.”

“What?” Mizuki blinks.

“Ah. Don’t get me wrong, I just thought it’d cheer you up! And you could perhaps design clothing or accessories for it.” He puts his hands up in front of him, rambling.

“Oh…,” they gasp, looking back at the plush who’s now sitting still in front of Mizuki. Like a blank canvas waiting for them to work their magic on them. They glance back up at Rui, who’s smiling at them nervously.

It was like he knew that they would instantly want to dress it up with cute clothes and adorn it with accessories. How they would adore the toy and place it on their bedside table and squeal at how adorable it was with their newly handmade miniature hat.

(They can imagine it now, working in the cafe with new fabric to make matching outfits for themselves and the plush.)

Rui continues, “I know how much you love to create and make clothes of your own, so I thought maybe you would wish to try something new,” he gestures at the toy, “and make some for something of a smaller scale.”

And he’s right. Of course Mizuki would jump at the chance to make new clothes for such a challenge, to make clothing for something a different size than just themselves and a few other people.

And of course he would know that, because he knows them so well. Because they’ve known each other for years now and Mizuki’s probably shared their deepest and darkest thoughts with him. And he knows when to push them to talk or when to stop and pull away, or knows when they want space or when they're just saying that.

And he cares about Mizuki so much. And they know that because no matter what, he always manages to check up on them, to ask about how they’re feeling or how their day went. He manages to make them something small because he knows that it would make them laugh for even just a few minutes, or he simply just makes time for them just to talk and hang out on the rooftop just like the old days.

And god Mizuki wants to kiss him. They’re overcome with the feeling of wanting to lean in right there, as he’s babbling about how he wanted to make them smile a bit, his hand reaching behind his neck in a nervous habit. There’s the feeling of wanting to feel how his lips felt on theirs; warm, gentle, and so full of care because he was never anything but caring towards Mizuki. How he would reach a hand through their pink hair and pull them closer, how Mizuki themself would hold onto his shoulder, or wrap around his neck, or hold his face. How they would kiss like nothing else mattered around them but that moment in itself.

But Mizuki doesn’t move. They don’t because if they were to kiss him, it would never be the same between the two of them ever again. The rooftop would be empty and Mizuki would be alone again (and Rui wouldn’t be, because he had his friends now and didn’t need to be burdened with Mizuki’s loneliness any longer) and it would be just like middle school but without him. If Mizuki was selfish and kissed him right there on his stupid mouth, they would probably never be able to enjoy the rooftop and the sunset ever again, never enjoy his presence by their side again. (And maybe that was selfish too, that desire to have him by their side.)

So they don’t lean in. Mizuki doesn’t kiss him, and instead they reach out and place a hand on his arm to stop him from rambling because if Mizuki doesn’t say anything now, Rui would keep talking out of nervousness.

“Thank you, Rui. Really. I love it.”

And he smiles, soft and curled at the corners. And it’s alright for now.

Chapter Text

Rui stares at the Nightcord icon on his phone. Mizuki had urged him to download it, saying they were way more active on it than their other social media, so Rui had decided to give it a try. He hadn’t done anything really, Mizuki brought it on themselves to do all the setting up for him: making an account, adding their user as his friend, going through all his photos for a profile picture (most of them being Wonderlands x Showtime and none of them being himself) before making him take a selfie with them for the profile.

He smiles now, at the photo, and a red notification pops up on the top left of his screen. Clicking it, he realizes that it’s a message from Mizuki themselves.

Amia: hey rui! how’s the app so far~

Amia: fun isn’t it?

Rui chuckles, fingers typing out a response. Their personality was still so vibrant even over text. He had asked them why their user was Amia when they first added themselves on his phone and they said something along the lines of internet safety and left it at that. (Despite Mizuki saying that, though, they decided to make his own user to just be his name.)

Their profile was a picture of Mizuki (he assumed) wearing some sort of pink dress, something they definitely made themselves, from the neck down. It was detailed, the top decorated with white lace with bow detailing and more soft pink fabric flowing down, which faded into a white at the bottom. Leave it to them to make such a gorgeous dress.

He suddenly realizes that despite their close friendship, they’ve never really texted each other, not even back in middle school. Maybe a few words exchanged late at night, some reassurance that they’d be at that rooftop again the next day, but nothing substantial.

(He’s read every word over and over again. He could probably recite it by memory.)

Rui: I am incredibly confused.

Amia: hehe, understandable! it’s not much fun without someone to talk to

Amia: wanna call?

He pauses. Despite not texting each other often, they’ve called quite the number of times before. Idle chit-chat before bed when Mizuki couldn’t fall asleep and Rui was up fiddling with something on his desk, on the rooftop when Rui was there alone because Mizuki didn’t feel like going to school but still wanted to talk to him, things like that. They’ve probably called more than they texted, even if those amount of calls result up to only maybe ten to fifteen times in their entire three years of friendship.

He figures he does want to call them and types a response quickly.

Rui: Sure

He wrestles with his blanket, scrambling to get his earbuds from the side of his desk, wincing as he hits his foot on the corner of his table. He then trips over a toy car and nearly faceplants onto the floor.

Rui likes to consider himself a relatively neat person, at least to his standards, this is the neatest he’s been since elementary, but Nene refuses to let him believe that. In fact, she simply refuses to step foot into his room after the last time she nearly died (her words not his. The machine was completely safe, it wasn’t his fault that she almost chopped her finger off) the last time she visited.

His phone vibrates with Mizuki’s call as he connects his earbuds to his device and sits on his desk stool, spinning a little with the momentum. He answers the phone, taking a breath.

“Hey.” Rui starts first, pushing himself back and forth on his little spinny stool.

“Hey, yourself!” Mizuki answers. There’s a rustle on the other side of the line where Rui assumes they’re shifting in their bed. “I was super bored, I hope I didn’t bother you?”

“You never do. I wasn’t doing anything anyways.” He sets his phone down, picking up one of his half finished work-in-progresses. He could never sit still really, always needing to fiddle with sometime, keep his hands busy.

“I hope the app’s not too confusing? I don’t think I did a good job explaining how it works earlier…”

“Hah, no you’re fine. I don’t think I’ll use it too often as you do, but I’ll know where to contact you next time I wish to do so.”

Mizuki hums in response and Rui smiles, despite himself, focusing on the plastic covering of his flashlight-thing.

“How was your day today?” Mizuki asks.

“Small talk isn't really our thing, Mizuki.” He answers instead, teasingly.

And it’s true. Even on that middle school rooftop, small talk was never quite a concept they grasped. Often, Rui found himself opening the door to Mizuki angrily kicking the chair— that was left over up there from one of their school festivals— and instantly ranting to him about their classmates. And that was how it always was.

“Well I’m bored and I don’t know what to talk about, Rui.” Mizuki complains, pout in their voice. He laughs.

“Would you like to see what I’m working on then?”

“Of course!”

He chuckles, picking up his phone to press on what he believes to be the video button. (It looked like a camera, so if it wasn’t the video call button what else could it be?)

He props the camera up against his lamp, aiming it so they could see his face as well as his hands on his desk. He waves.

“Test, test, can you see me?” Rui asks, holding one hand onto the cord of his earbuds so that he could speak into the microphone like a pilot. (Yes, he is a genius inventor and director. No he does not have the new fancy wireless earbuds. One, they’d be a waste of money if his wired ones work perfectly fine and two, he’d rather make his own.)

He hears Mizuki laugh, “Yup! Let me turn on my camera too, hold on.”

There’s a rustle again and suddenly he can see Mizuki on the screen alongside his video where there was previously only their profile. Mizuki gives a wave back, grinning.

They’re wearing this half zipped up purple hoodie over a white shirt, the hoodie slipping off their shoulder a bit. Their hair’s tied up into a bun with a matching purple scrunchie and they look ten times more put together than Rui and his graphic tee.

Wow.

(Fun fact, purple is in fact Rui’s favorite color, as obvious as it might be. In fact, his favorite flavor is grape, which is also purple. His costume for his performances are usually purple, hell his hair is purple. The fact that Mizuki’s wearing his color makes his mind go a little blank.)

“Hi again!” They rest their arms on their desk, leaning their head onto them. “So what are you working on?”

Rui blinks a few times before he lifts the gadget he was fiddling with up for a second, putting it down to work on it again. “It’s this small thing I had on my desk. If I flip here it works as a small flashlight I can carry around.”

He demonstrates it, flicking the switch on to show the bright streaming light aimed at the back of his room before shutting it off again. “I’m just trying to cover the battery inside right now.”

“Ooh, useful. Would be nice to have.” Mizuki falls silent for a second before commenting, “You know, I’ve never actually seen your room before.”

Rui looks up for the first time since they’ve turned their cameras on and waved at each other. Mizuki’s right, of course. Even though they’ve exchanged the most heartfelt conversations and words to each other, they’ve never been to each other’s houses or anywhere else outside of that rooftop. It was too personal, ironically (because they could confide in the other about their deepest fears but their room was another level of friendship that they didn’t get into yet).

“You are right. We’ve never been to each other’s places.”

“Hmm. It’s close to what I imagined to be your room anyways. Full of blueprints and machinery. Lot’s of books.” Mizuki sits up, leaning against their hand with their elbow on their desk now. From their voice, he can tell they’re a little amused by the vast amount of things in his room. “I didn't take you as such an avid reader.”

“You never asked.” He shrugs.

The fact that they were observing Rui’s background, as much as he was willing to show through the call anyways, makes him feel a little vulnerable if he was being really honest.

It was like baring his heart to them, his thoughts and how his mind worked, all so littered throughout his room. He likes to think he’s a rather logical thinking person, but he knows his mind leaps and jumps and his thoughts are not linear and messy and if he wanted to stop thinking he had to distract himself right now.

So he analyzes Mizuki’s room instead, as they are right now with his own. Unlike his brightly lit room, their room is rather dark, save for the one lamp to their side. He can spot a mirror in the back alongside with a stand for their dress (or clothes) making. Other than that, the wall is pretty blank, a rather large contrast to his cluttered space. In fact, he can bet that their room is extremely neat, not a single thing out of place, and nothing on the floor either.

Unlike his own place. He kicks the string of lights under his desk.

Perhaps Mizuki sees him eye their dress stand because they turn back and say, “Oh! Do you want to see what I’ve been making too? It’s not on the stand.”

They get up quickly, walking off screen and Rui hears the rustling of fabric before they appear back in view. They’re holding the pink dress from their profile picture, he realizes, and he leans closer to his phone to get a better look.

Well, he doesn’t have to look too close because the dress takes up the entire screen. It’s so large and detailed that Mizuki’s almost buried underneath the fabric and the effort to hold it up is so endearing to Rui that he puts down his gadget just to watch them struggle a little.

“This is— way harder than I thought it would be. Hold on…”

Their hand shoots out to grab onto the rest of the dress, trying not to step on it as they wobble to their dress stand and fit it onto the figure. Rui’s hands are under his chin, watching amusedly as Mizuki rolls the stand over to the camera.

“Look, so I have a few more stitches and a lace frill I want to add to the bottom but it’s pretty much done!” Mizuki grabs the phone and flips the camera, stepping back so Rui gets a full view of the dress in all of its glory.

He’s not sure if they’re aware of their figure in the mirror, which is also visible in the camera, where he can see them standing and holding their phone up with two hands. He hadn’t realized that they were wearing a matching pair of purple shorts with their hoodie. Even in the comfort of their own home they wanted to look cute.

“Pretty, right? I just need to work on it a bit more and then it’s done! I’m super excited about it!” Mizuki exclaims, angling the view up and down so Rui can get a close-up view of the detailing.

“Very pretty.”

He sees Mizuki pause at his words, probably because of the way he said it. He hadn’t meant it to come out sounding so… serious, he could say. Not that he wasn’t serious about the dress being pretty or anything because in total honestly it was; he had said it earlier when he saw it, and seeing it now when it was even more detailed was impressive but he was so focused on Mizuki looking so cute in the mirror that he sort of just blurted out his first thought and it was a little embarrassing and he could feel the tips of his ears burn a little and god he should really pick up working on his gadget again before he said anything else weird.

So he does.

Mizuki laughs, quickly recovering. “Right! I think it’s my best work yet.”

Rui hums, half in agreement and half to fill up the silence. “Why don’t we work on our little projects while we call each other? That way we could keep each other company.”

“Ooh, that’s such a good idea.” They snap, pointing at Rui. “I knew calling you would be the right call to cure my boredom.” Mizuki sing-songs their words, setting down the camera on their desk and going off screen to find their supplies.

“Happy to be of service,” Rui feigns a bow to the camera, smiling as he hears Mizuki laugh at his antics.

A comfortable silence falls over the two of them as they work on their own things, occasionally hearing the rustle of fabric as Mizuki sews or the clanging of metal as Rui works on something else, finishing his mini flashlight.

He’s used to the sound, them doing their own thing while the other is around. He’s not quite sure what it is that makes him feel so reliant on Mizuki but he does know that their presence makes his ideas flow easier and his work much quicker than usual. (Maybe because instead of worrying over Mizuki when he doesn’t see them, he has them in his view and can relax just a smudge.)

Before he knew it, a few minutes had gone by (well, it had felt like a few minutes. In reality, an entire hour had passed so quickly) and he realized that the rustling of Mizuki’s work had quieted and there was a light sound playing in Mizuki’s background. He looks up, finally, for the first time since he had begun working on his newest drone, which was fully equipped with a water spray gun (because look, it would be useful one day).

Rui looks on screen to find Mizuki putting on lipgloss, staring at the mirror behind the camera. He can half register the dancing cat plush on the desk, placed deliberately in front of him as a performance while he works, wearing an adorable black suit and tie. Later, when he can actually process his thoughts, he thinks it's served its purpose well.

For now though, his other half of his brain is too busy focused on the fact that Mizuki’s lips are very glossy and they look really soft and he would really like to see how their lipgloss tasted.

(Strawberry, he decided.)

Their hands move smoothly over their lips, dabbing at the cupid’s bow and pressing their lips together to spread the gloss and they sit back in their chair in satisfaction to see Rui looking up at his camera.

“Oh Rui! Finally looking up I see~” Mizuki jeers light-heartedly, twisting the cap to the lipgloss closed.

Rui tries to joke back, in any effort to look like he wasn’t trying to fight the little devil on his shoulder, but all he can manage is a small “mhm” which comes out shaky and he clears his throat. “Right.”

“What do you think of this lip-color? I bought a new tint but I’m not sure if it looks good on me….” Mizuki looks into the mirror again, brushing their hair back and trying different angles to see if the color suited them.

Which it did. Very well, if Rui did say so himself. Their lips were a soft red and had a gradient that started dark from the middle of their lips and faded out as it reached the corners and Rui knew it was incredibly intentional and it was incredibly distracting.

And he wondered what it would look like after he kissed them and ruined it. If it would mix and blend out or if it would still look the same with the gradient and all still intact. He wonders if he would have some of the color on his lips after. (He might even take more of a liking to strawberries.)

Oh god.

“It looks good.” Rui said, looking down and swallowing hard.

“Ehhh?” Mizuki complained, dragging out the last syllable. “You don’t sound serious at all!”.

“I am being serious, Mizuki.” He laughs, looking back up in an effort to look less flustered than he feels. “You look really good.”

Mizuki blinks a little before looking back at themselves, playing with their hair. “Well good to know.”

Rui doesn’t know how he’s so composed, really, when his ears are burning hot (he knows because he’s playing with his piercing and he can feel it and he hopes that its not visible on camera) and he’s not sure if he’s imagining the dust of pink on Mizuki’s cheeks or if it’s just added blush that they did while he wasn’t looking.

He also wonders if he went too far because there’s a short silence between them that’s so full of oh-god-what-did-i-do-wrong thoughts before Mizuki speaks again. “You know, you should let me do your make-up one day. I think it’d be really fun!”

They lean into the camera as they speak, hand under their chin and he finds himself following along.

“Let me know when you have time, I’ll see if it aligns with my schedule.”

“Really? You promised, kay?” Mizuki grins and Rui smiles too, nodding. He listens quietly as Mizuki tells him a vibrant story about what they were up to while skipping school: going to the mall and eating at new cafes.

He often thinks that Mizuki’s energy is contagious. How their happiness and joy spreads around to everyone they hang out with. A smile plays at his lips at the thought of it until something hits him.

Ah… he thinks he knows why Mizuki has drawn him in so much. Why he enjoys their company more than he thinks he should. Mizuki’s energy is similar to the kind of energy he wishes to spread with his shows.

He runs a hand through his hair. He really wants to kiss them now.

Rui wills the thought away.

“Oh shoot, look at the time. So sorry, but I have to meet up with 25-ji for our new song…” Mizuki says, slumping in their chair.

Rui looks up, screwdriver in hand, “Oh don’t worry about me. Thank you for keeping me company, I’m sure my rambling was not all that interesting.”

“Don’t say that, I always love our talks. Thanks for calling, Rui. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“You’re coming to school tomorrow?” Rui raises his eyebrows in surprise. To be fair, Mizuki missed almost every day of school this month, so to hear about their attendance was a good thing. It meant seeing them on the rooftops, or just around on campus when he walks around with Tsukasa and Nene during the breaks. (Sometimes he finds himself searching for something when he passes by their class. He knows what he’s looking for, he doesn’t want to name it.)

“Mhm, I have supplementary classes.” Mizuki sighs.

“You’ve been coming to school a little more often though. It’s good to see you around.”

Mizuki smiles. “I’ll see you later, don’t stay up too late working!”

“No promises. See you, Mizuki.”

With a final wave, Mizuki disappears from his screen and Rui shuts off his phone with a sigh. He quickly screws in his final piece and leans back on the couch. (He had gotten up from his stool mid-way through the call because his back was killing him. He didn’t have the best posture.)

He drags a hand over his face, groaning at himself as he recalls Mizuki’s glossed lips. His response when they asked what he thought of the color. It was beyond embarrassing. He wasn’t even sure how he would be able to face them tomorrow in school if they wore the same color.

Rui sighs, half smiling at the thought of them waving earnestly at the sight of him. “What am I going to do with you, Mizuki.”

Chapter Text

“Toya-kun is good at those claw machines?”

Mizuki and Akito were standing in the middle of the hallway during their break, just catching up on what they’ve been doing on their own. It was one of the few days that Mizuki had decided to show up to school (before they got a call home for their absences) and just so happened to run into Akito on the way back from the snack bar. Somehow the topic of arcades had come up when they questioned Akito about playing around with a plush keychain that was honestly too cute for his reputation.

“Too good, honestly. I swear everytime he goes he comes back with a bag full of plushies for Ena. It’s insane.” Akito sighs, a hand brushing the back of his neck. “It’s also where this keychain’s from. He got matching ones for Vivid BAD SQUAD.”

Mizuki hums in acknowledgement. “It’s super cute!”

To be honest, Mizuki has never been to the arcade. It wasn’t as if they didn’t want to, particularly, but it was more of the idea that they had no one to go with and the arcade felt like a place that was more fun with friends.

Although Mizuki does technically have friends now, don’t they? They consider Rui as one of their oldest friends, they talk with An a lot in school and out, and they have 25-ji. They could honestly even consider Akito as their friend, even if the other seems to be annoyed at their presence (secretly, Mizuki knows he’s only pretending, because if he really hated them he would avoid them like the plague. He does so with Tsukasa— he really only tolerates him because Toya is like a brother to the guy). And if they have friends now, perhaps going to the arcade would be a fun experience that Mizuki had never had.

“What if we go to the arcade together?”

“Just me and you?” Akito asks, pointing between the two of them, eyebrows furrowed.

“Why, you want that?” They tease, leaning close. Akito’s brows furrow as he stares at them, and Mizuki laughs, pulling back. “No, you can bring Toya-kun and I’ll invite An and Rui along. It’ll be fun! How’s this weekend sound?”

“Kamishiro-senpai? No way.”

“Please? I’ve never been to the arcade… It’d be such a shame if I could never go in my lifetime….” Mizuki pouts, hoping that he’d give in. It wasn’t as if they were lying to him, just using a bit of persuasion. Manipulation, perhaps, if you wanted to call it that, but Mizuki prefers to think they’re just encouraging the other to give in.

Akito gives a short exhale, looking completely exhausted by Mizuki’s antics which she grins at. They wait as he mulls it over in his head, probably planning around his busy schedule or whatever. (Ena’s mentioned offhandedly how Akito plans his entire week in advance, including his morning practices. It’s admirable how hardworking he is, honestly.)

“Fine. I’ll ask Toya.” Akito says, finally nodding. “An might be busy this week if you ask her but you can always try.”

“Really?” Mizuki exclaims, grabbing onto his arm. “Thanks, Otouto-kun!”

“Well gee, you don’t have to be so happy about it…” Akito mumbles, tugging at a strand of hair in front of his face with his free hand. “And when will you stop calling me that?”

“Hehe, never?” Mizuki laughs while Akito scowls, grumbling. They look past Akito’s shoulder and find Toya walking towards the pair, eyebrows raised in question. “Look, Toya-kun’s here. I’ll go find Rui and An real quick, okay? Ask him! This Saturday!”

Mizuki dashes off, ignoring how Akito calls after them. As they turn the corner down the hallway, they can faintly hear Toya asking about some kind of fever and Akito cutting him off to ask about the arcade day. Mizuki smiles, determined to find Rui.

They figure they could always text An if they couldn't find her during the break, since she always picks up quickly. Rui, on the other hand, was an unpredictable case, so they’d rather find him in person to ask instead.

Not that it was a hard task at all. There was only one place Rui would’ve gone to. (Other than being with Nene and Tsukasa, but Mizuki had already ruled that out because they had passed by them at the snack bar earlier and Rui was definitely not beside those two. Mizuki would know, he stands out far too much.)

So they head up to the rooftop, a familiar pattern.

In the end, Mizuki had to admit that Akito was correct. An was too busy to go to the arcade with them (she had apologized so many times, each time saying how much she really wanted to hang but she had promised her dad and Mizuki had to convince her that it was okay and that they could always hang out next time, just the two of them) and Rui had agreed almost immediately after Mizuki asked.

Apparently his weekend practice had been canceled and he was looking for something to do in order to replace it. Mizuki considers themselves lucky to have at least Rui attend their little arcade day, since An couldn’t make it. It was nice to have someone they knew well accompany them (although that didn’t mean that they wouldn’t enjoy Akito or Toya’s company. It was just going to be more comfortable with a closer friend).

As Saturday creeps closer, they find themselves searching for an outfit that they would like to wear. Their favorite (the one they wore on that trip with Ena and her idol friends) was already seen by Rui, albeit covered in mud but still, and they wanted to wear something new and outdo themselves this time around.

Not that it was a hard task to pair a new outfit together, no, it was way harder to make one look to Mizuki’s standards (because one they had far too many clothes and two Mizuki held really high expectations for themselves).

And maybe spending two hours looking for clothes was a bit overboard but Mizuki wanted to look their best since it was their first time going to the arcade. After a few more minutes of picking and choosing, switching out the tops and shoes, they decided on wearing something that was comfortable enough yet still stylish and cute.

A pink sweater top with a collared shirt underneath, a white pleated skirt, leg warmers, a pair of white and pink sneakers and a matching pink headband, along with a few rings and a cute necklace.

They smile, satisfied at the selection and place it in their wardrobe together so it would be easy to pick out the day of. Mizuki couldn’t wait for Saturday.

Mizuki drags their feet, walking to the bus stop to head to the arcade, sighing. They were excited, really, but now that they were actually out of the house, they half wished that they had called for a rain-check.

Lifting the baby-blue bag up higher on their shoulder, they sit on the bench to wait for the bus and sigh, kicking their feet at the pavement below them.

“Oh? Mizuki?”

Mizuki looks up at the voice to find Rui looking wide eyed in surprise at the sight of them, hands in his pockets. “I was right, it is you.”

They take in his outfit, expecting the worst. (To be fair, once he had turned up in the ugliest plaid shirt Mizuki had ever seen and they had to pretend like they didn’t know him. It was a hard day.)

On the contrary, today, Rui’s wearing just a plain white tee with sleeves that ended at his elbows and black pants with a few colorful stripes down the side in green, red, and yellow. It was one of the most toned-down outfits that they’d ever seen him wear and in respect to their mood, they appreciated it.

“Rui! You’re taking the bus too?”

“Yup, I thought about it and decided why not?” He pauses, stopping a step before Mizuki. “Why do you look so upset?”

Mizuki looks up at him. It’s odd how perceptive he is of them all the time. He can see right through them so easily it's hard to lie to Rui. They still fake a smile though, looking downwards so he can’t read their facial expression.

“I didn’t get enough sleep last night, haha.” Mizuki laughs. It’s an empty sound. They can hear it in their voice and they just hope Rui doesn’t push.

“Alright then.” He blows out a breath, sitting beside them and setting his hands on his lap. Mizuki can almost feel the warmth from his shoulder right beside theirs, so close they’re almost touching. Mizuki almost wishes they were. They see him turn to look at them. “Are you excited?”

“For the arcade? Yes!” Mizuki grins, much more genuine than their last one, “I’ve never been to one before, so…”

“Never? Really? That’s quite surprising.”

“Yeah well that’s why I’m really excited to see what’s in there. All the games and neon lights, the prizes. I really hope we win some.”

“I’m sure we will.”

As they speak, the bus rolls up and pulls to a stop with a screech, the bus doors opening. Rui stands first, reaching a hand out in a mock bow, “May I?”

Mizuki giggles, taking his hand. “What’s this? You are so cheesy.”

“Only to make you laugh.” He shrugs, smiling back. He lets Mizuki on the bus first, pushing their hand away when they attempt to pay their fare. Instead, he reaches around them and swipes his own card twice.

Mizuki stares at his hand, looking back at him and he raises an eyebrow back. “Go on, let’s find some seats, shall we?”

He pushes them along lightly and Mizuki hurries down the aisle, Rui easily following behind. They sit behind this old man, who is sitting along a row with a plastic bag of oranges in the aisle seat, Mizuki sliding into the window seat right behind him. Rui sits beside them.

“Let me pay you back,” Mizuki starts, reaching into their bag.

“The fare is only a few hundred yen, don’t worry about it.” Rui waves off, holding their arm so they don’t dig any deeper for their wallet. Mizuki sighs, releasing their hand.

“Fine… But I’m treating you next time.”

There’s a comfortable silence between the two of them as the bus slowly rocks to a start, moving. Mizuki takes to looking outside the window and eyes the buildings passing by.

Mizuki likes being around Rui. He’s like a calming presence for them, since he was there for them in one of the darkest moments of their life. A reminder, if you will, that they weren’t alone. They’re glad he decided to come with them to the arcade because although Mizuki didn’t mind hanging out with Akito and Toya, there were often times that Mizuki felt left out or bothersome. Rui’s comforting, to say the least.

There’s a dinging sound from Mizuki’s bag and they dig through it to pull out their phone, finding a text notification on the lockscreen. It’s from Akito.

Otouto-kun ☆: yo, akiyama. are you here yet?

Mizuki giggles at his contact name, sending a quick text back. (When they had first exchanged numbers, he was so outraged at the contact name that Mizuki had to buy him a cheesecake at An’s cafe to appease him with a deal to change the name. They changed it right back though, of course.)

Mizuki: rui and i just got on the bus, we’ll be there soon!!

Otouto-kun ☆: k

Short and simple. Classic Akito reply.

“Was that Shinonome-kun?” Rui asks gently, leaning into Mizuki’s side. Mizuki nods.

“Yup! He was asking if we were there yet. I told him soon.”

“Do you guys text a lot?” He takes a glance at their phone, before looking back up at Mizuki’s face. It’s hard to tell from his tone if he’s genuinely curious or… Mizuki doesn’t know. They aren’t as perceptive or good at reading people like he is.

“Just curious. You don’t have to answer.”

Well that answers it. There’s no other reason for him to ask, really.

“Once in a while. Not often.” Mizuki shrugs, shutting off the phone and slipping it back into their bag. “I like bothering him because he gets annoyed easily.”

Rui laughs, leaning back in his chair. “I worked with Shinonome-kun and Aoyagi-kun before. It was quite the entertaining experience.”

Mizuki sits up to face him. “Really? What for?”

Rui glances at them out of the corner of his eye, not moving his head. “Curious?”

Mizuki nods. To be honest, they’ve never seen Rui’s shows in person yet. Only heard about how incredible they are, how much fun they could be. Maybe one day they could go to his amusement park and watch one of them.

“It was for someone’s wedding actually. Tsukasa-kun fell ill and Aoyagi-kun stepped in for him, and one thing led to another and I ended up directing the performance and Shinonome-kun ended up leading the dancing portion.” Rui smiles.

“Woah… and what did you perform? Wait! No, let me guess.” Mizuki puts a hand to their chin, furrowing their eyebrows in thought. “Mmm… a dance! Or… a song? Someone objecting to the marriage?”

Rui grins, “All of the above! Three people objected actually.” He puts up three fingers to emphasize his point and Mizuki’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

“Three people? Mann, that sounds like so much fun.”

“It was. I quite enjoyed it.”

Mizuki hums, eyes falling to their lap as they rub their blue jeans with their hand. Talking to Rui was always a good distraction for them, talking about meaningless things to fill the time. It was easy, familiar, and yet Mizuki can’t help but drop their smile at the sight of their outfit. A silence falls over the two of them again.

“Are you feeling alright, Mizuki?” Rui asks again, quietly. They can feel his eyes on them. Of course he would immediately notice their mood switch. He was always good at that.

“No… it’s nothing. I’m just upset over something small.” Mizuki mumbles, toying with the fabric of their jeans.

Rui frowns, leaning back into his seat. “Well it’s alright to feel upset over small things. It doesn’t make your feelings any less insignificant.”

Mizuki lets out a short breath of air. (Mizuki remembers when he was pessimistic, when he held nearly no hope for the next day, let alone week, to come. Mizuki remembers a lot about Rui. It’s a good feeling to know that his mentality has changed, even if their own hasn’t.)

“Yeah. Thanks, Rui.”

“Mizuki… Hey. We’re almost there.”

Mizuki groans, snuggling closer to whatever they were laying their head on. It was way too comfortable to want to move yet.

Wait.

Mizuki opens their eyes slowly, blinking a few times, before looking up to find Rui gazing down at their face. Right, they’ve forgotten, they’re sitting on the bus with Rui by their side and both of them were going to the arcade to meet Toya and Akito and they are currently laying their head onto Rui’s shoulder after dozing off.

Well shit.

If they were to say they weren’t at least a bit happy with the outcome, they would be lying. They’ve had a terrible morning and really, maybe they needed this little bit of physical comfort from Rui. Except this was entirely embarrassing how they managed to fall asleep in the bus, let alone lay on his shoulder the entire time.

Mizuki weren’t exactly in a rush to get up though. They tried to hold onto their sleepiness, like holding onto running water with just their palms, but it slipped right through and they were left with this astute awareness of their position.

Ah. Whatever. They were already here, might as well revel in it for as long as they could.

“Can I… lay here? For just a bit longer?” Mizuki mumbles. “Don’t wanna get up yet.”

“Sure. We still have a few minutes.” Rui says, his voice a bit farther, as if he turned his head away to look outside the window opposite to their seat. Another silence falls between them and Mizuki can tell Rui wants to ask them if they’re feeling okay again. They can tell from the way his hands play with his own fingers on his lap, how his leg bounces up and down, how he shifts to give them more room to lay their head and opens his mouth to say something but closes it with a shake of his head.

Rui never pushes his boundaries. Never pushes when Mizuki doesn’t feel like talking. It makes them feel touched, how he had never asked for more. It also makes them feel a little guilty, because they always bottle up their feelings and never tell anyone. He didn’t deserve that.

“I picked out some cute clothes to wear today.” Mizuki begins, speaking softly. They can’t tell what Rui’s expression is like since they’re facing forward, unwilling to look back up at him. They wonder why they’re suddenly telling him, in fact. Mizuki hates feeling vulnerable, hates facing their feelings out of the fear of acknowledging that something was wrong with them.

But it was never hard to admit those things to Rui. He knows them the best, afterall.

“I had them all laid out for today and when I woke up I took a look at them and… I couldn’t do it.” Mizuki pauses, breathing slowly. “I just imagined the looks everyone would give me, the stares, the whispers and I… got scared.”

“I thought I was getting better.” Mizuki whispers. For a second, all Mizuki can hear is just the bus rumbling, the faint chatting from other passengers, the clanging of the handles overhead bumping into each other. They’re aware that the old man that was previously sitting in front of them was gone, along with his plastic bag of oranges and they’re aware of the emptiness of the bus, with barely any people sitting in the seats or standing.

They didn’t know when they had gripped their jeans but the hold on the fabric tightens as they squeeze their eyes shut. If they did that maybe the overwhelming sounds would disappear.

Suddenly, Rui’s hand reaches to pat Mizuki’s head and everything else fades away.

The weight of his hand is calming with the way he rests his palm and pats them gently on the head with his left hand. “Change isn’t instantaneous, Mizuki. You’re doing fine.”

Mizuki wants to believe that so desperately it hurts. Because really they thought they were getting better. Going to school was less difficult, sitting in class felt less suffocating, walking around the mall alone wasn’t as burdensome. And yet, they couldn’t wear a simple outfit out?

They frown and see Rui glance at them out of the corner of their eye.

“And hey, if it makes you feel any better, Nene and I spent a lot of time picking my outfit today and I still don’t look as stylish as you do right now.”

They giggle, slapping his thigh lightly. “Don’t say that, you look nice.”

Mizuki feels him chuckle, his shoulder shaking.

“Thank you, Rui. Again.” They mumble, looking at their lap.

“Of course.” He replies back and Mizuki can hear the smile in his voice. They pat his hand— which is still resting on their head— gently, reveling in the feeling of his comfort before pulling away from his shoulder and sit up to run a hand through their hair.

Rui reaches a hand past their face, leaning close and pulling at the string to signal to the bus driver that someone’s stop was here and Mizuki catches the scent of something sweet like vanilla.

Smelling people is weird, Mizuki, snap out of it. They can’t help but like sweet scents though.

The bus squeals to a stop and Rui gets up first, looking back at them to make sure Mizuki was following. He steps back as they stand, letting them pass him to exit off first, like the gentleman's personality he’s trying to put on. (He must know it amuses Mizuki because whenever Mizuki tries to hold back their laugh at his pleasantries, he only lightly smiles in return.)

At the first breath of fresh air, Mizuki stretches out their arms, satisfied with the feeling of the sun on their skin. After sitting in the bus for thirty minutes, they felt rather stiff. Rui follows shortly behind, a soft smile still playing on his lips.

Mizuki takes a deep breath in and exhales, pushing down their heavy feelings. It was a day to have fun, afterall.

“Let’s not keep Otouto-kun and Toya-kun waiting!” Mizuki exclaims, instantly cheered up by the sight of the arcade in the distance.

“I hope they haven’t started without us…” Rui laughs, trailing after a skipping Mizuki.

The two of them reach the front of the arcade relatively quickly with Rui’s long legs easily keeping pace with Mizuki’s excitedly fast walking. They can hardly contain their joy at the entrance when they see the neon lights in the back and the large amount of games. They spot Akito’s bright orange hair alongside Toya’s split dyed one right after, which makes Mizuki wave excitedly.

Akito’s standing with his hands in his pockets, donning a basic white tee layered over with a dark gray button up and some black shorts. He looks bored, speaking lightly with Toya before also spotting Mizuki and Rui. Toya beside him is wearing a navy blue sweater vest over a white button up and some black dress pants.

(Mizuki always appreciates nice fashion, so they have quite the eye for it. It’s also rare to see Akito and Toya out of their school uniforms, so they want to take note of their day to day, casual fashion.)

“Hey! Hope you didn’t wait long?” Mizuki grins, walking up to them with a jump in their step. It was impossible to keep the excitement out of their body. Not when the neon lights from the games in the arcade were illuminating the people inside and the sounds of laughter and games made Mizuki antsy to start playing.

“Hello Akiyama, Kamishiro-senpai. Actually, we’ve been here for,” Toya starts before Akito cuts him off.

“Nah, we just got here.” He takes a look around, “Where do you want to start?”

Toya gives him a pointed look which he easily ignores and Mizuki tilts their head. They glance up to Rui, whose eyes are already on theirs, and he shrugs. Mizuki figures that Akito’s just a considerate guy and didn’t want to make them feel bad about being late. They look past Akito and Toya to see inside the arcade hoping to find something that catches their interest. Their eyes widen as they spot it.

“Then what about those?” Mizuki suggests, pointing at the claw machines in the distant back of the arcade. They can see the different, colorful plushies in the machines and they desperately want a souvenir to bring back home.

Toya nods, satisfied with the idea. “I agree. I’ve been meaning to get something for Kusanagi in my class as a thanks for helping me in my studies.”

“Oh, Nene? How sweet of her.” Rui muses, stepping forward. “Shall we then?”

Rui falls into step with Toya, talking about Nene and what plushies she would prefer as Akito waits for Mizuki to follow before walking beside them. They’re only a few steps behind the other boys, close enough to catch bits of each other’s conversations and Mizuki can hear how Rui suggests getting Nene a figurine of sorts.

“Anything you want in particular in the claw machines?” Akito asks, looking at Mizuki.

Mizuki hums, “Well one of my classmates said there was this really cute My Melody plush here and I really wanted it.”

They glance up slightly at Akito. “You know who that is right?”

Mizuki considers themself rather tall in comparison to the girls they know, and yet when every guy that they’re friends with borders around six feet tall, Mizuki feels a pinch of annoyance when they have to look up to meet their eyes. (To be more accurate, the guys were around maybe five foot seven inches, but no one really cares about the technicalities of it all. It was close enough to six feet anyways.)

He sighs, a hand reaching to play with the ring on his other hand. “Yeah, Sanrio right? Ena’s mentioned it a bit.”

“Oh? I didn’t expect you to actually know about it…” Mizuki muses, trailing off.

“How out of touch with society do you think I am…” Akito mumbles. Mizuki ignores him, rushing towards the machine at the far left corner with the Sanrio plushies that they wanted. They place their hands on the glass, peering in.

“Woah! Look, look! The Kuromi plushies are super cute too! I guess I’ll have to get both.” Mizuki interlocks their fingers, cracking them in seriousness. They hear Akito exhale in amusement behind them.

“Shouldn’t you worry about even being able to get one plush?” He joins them at the machine, settling at the one beside Mizuki’s and to the left of Rui’s and Toya’s. If they look carefully, Rui’s leaning over to Toya’s side as he points out a few things Nene might like.

“Doubting me?” Mizuki sticks out their tongue at Akito and notices Rui who’s turned towards them, silently chuckling at their banter. Mizuki smiles in return and turns back at the machine, determined to get both Kuromi and My Melody in one try each.

The thing is, in Mizuki’s head, it was quite the easy task to operate the crane. You slide in a coin, move the joystick left, right, up, down until it’s directly above the toy you want and press the big red button to grab the toy and win!

The task in itself was so simple and straightforward, yet after a few minutes and ten tries, Mizuki only just manages to grab the Kuromi toy by the head and drop it down the chute. The sound of it dropping down is rewarding and when Mizuki kneels down to grab it and finally has the toy in their hands, sudden exhaustion is dropped on top of their excitement.

“You know what, I’m done. I’m satisfied.” Mizuki sighs, hugging the plush. They haven’t moved from their squat and they can tell Akito’s giving them a weird look.

“Didn’t you come in for My Melody though?” He asks with a raise of his eyebrow.

“Yes. And I’ve wasted enough money and energy for the rest of the month.” Mizuki mumbles, their voice muffled by speaking into the plush. Kuromi is soft, large enough to hug to their chest but not large enough to be a body pillow type of plushie. It satisfies Mizuki enough to not bother getting My Melody as well, even if it was extremely enticing in its glass cage.

Their voice is a bit hoarse though from the moments of screaming in frustration at the toy dropping from the crane multiple times. So yeah, getting My Melody would not be worth losing their voice today. They also don’t think the money in their pockets is enough for the rest of the games they wanted to play if they spent it all on the crane machines, so they don’t.

Akito hums in response and Mizuki stands up, walking over in between Rui and Akito’s machines to see how they were faring. They can see Akito has a small pile of plushies, maybe three, while Rui has about five sitting on the floor beside him.

“You guys are way better than I am…” Mizuki pouts. They turn fully to face Rui, holding out their prized possession, Kuromo. “Look what I got!”

Rui’s focused on his crane machine, but he humors Mizuki, glancing over before turning his head to look at the plush in their hands and the excitement in their face. He smiles a little and Mizuki grins wider.

“Aren’t you proud of me, Mr. Kamishiro?” Mizuki jokes, hugging the toy closer and leaning into his side. He exhales a breath in amusement.

“Oh I am quite impressed with you, Mizuki.” He says it as a joke, they can hear the tease in his voice, the smile seeping through his tone, but they still fluster at the sound, looking away. They see him then look back to his machine, focused on grabbing whatever it was in the machine while Mizuki focuses instead on trying to ignore how hot their face suddenly feels.

They glance up at him, watching how his eyes harden in determination. The machine he’s at is filled with smaller Sanrio plushies hung on keychains. Mizuki watches as his claw dangles a bit before stopping above a My Melody one and Rui presses the button to drop the claw. For a frightening second, once the keychain is in its grasp, it looks like it's about to drop from the grip and Mizuki holds their breath as the crane travels all the way to the drop chute. Despite their worries though, it drops straight in and the clatter of it in the metal below makes Mizuki jump in excitement.

“You got it!” Mizuki claps, holding their Kuromi between their arms. Toya turns to look at Rui and Mizuki spots the giant pile of toys beside him, leagues taller than Rui and Akito’s pile and definitely more than Mizuki’s prize. There’s at least ten or fifteen toys beside him. “Oh my god, Toya-kun, how do you have so many?”

Toya glances at Mizuki before looking down at his pile and Akito speaks up from behind, “I told you he was good, didn’t I?”

Mizuki swirls around to face him, “I didn’t expect that good!”

“I said he often comes over to give Ena a stack of plushies?”

“I thought you were exaggerating?” Mizuki says, incredulous. They look back at his pile, which only grows as he pulls another toy out of the flap. “Ah… I’m really impressed right now. You’re amazing, Toya-kun.”

“It’s nothing really...” Toya mumbles, embarrassed.

Rui leans in closer to Mizuki, whispering. “And modest too.”

“Takes one to know one, huh, mister genius director.” Mizuki elbows him and he laughs.

Mizuki turns back to Akito and finds him focused on his machine. He clicks the red button as the claw descends on a My Melody plushie, one of the ones that Mizuki had really wanted. They gasp as it’s picked up and dropped into the chute.

Akito leans over to grab it and Mizuki jumps in excitement. “What? Otouto-kun, you didn’t have to!”

“Who says it’s for you?” He asks, before turning to face them, just in time to see their face fall in disappointment. “...I’m kidding. Here. You looked like you really wanted it.”

Mizuki instantly lights up, reaching for the plush in his hand before he retracts it and holds it high above his head.

“Oops.” He grins. Mizuki frowns before jumping for it, only for Akito to be too tall for them to reach. He only pulls the plush just out of their reach without even putting in any effort. God he was irritating. They’re about to give up on it totally before Rui steps closer.

“Aw, don’t tease them.” Rui grabs the toy easily out of Akito’s hand and the latter rolls his eyes playfully. (Honestly, Rui was too tall for his own good. Mizuki thinks this now as they look up at him; he returns the glance and winks lightheartedly.)

“Alright… For you, Akiyama.” Akito resigns, sighing as Rui smiles and hands the toy to Mizuki.

Seeing both the pink and black plushies together makes them nearly squeal with joy at how adorable they are. Afterall, there is only simple joy in child-like amusements like this, just the excitement of winning something was thrilling enough for Mizuki.

With a last clatter, Toya speaks. “Okay, I think I’m done with the claw machine.”

Akito glances around both Mizuki and Rui and scoffs at his sight. “You think? Your machine’s almost empty at this point…. I’m starting to feel bad for the owner.”

Toya tilts his head. “Why?”

“Nevermind…” Akito mumbles, picking up his prizes as Mizuki giggles at the two of them. They offer to lend a hand to Rui, who’s decided to try to single-handedly carry all of his winnings. (He fails miserably and Mizuki ends up on the floor picking up his toys with him. They had bags for a reason, he just liked making things harder on himself.)

To be honest, Mizuki’s having fun, even with the rough start this morning. Usually, whenever they hang out with people, it’s with either their group or with An. It’s a nice change of pace outside of school where they could relax and just have fun. Not worry about this or that.

Rui’s presence is definitely helping too. Whenever Mizuki is around him, they feel more at ease. It was easier to be themselves for the day and let their guard down. Makes them forget why they were feeling bad in the first place.

Sometimes Mizuki thinks that Rui is just a nice guy. Fun to be around, easy going and makes friends with everyone.They wonder if he thinks of them as someone special like they do him. If he thinks of their highschool days like Mizuki often reminisces about.

“Akiyama?”

Mizuki blinks and looks up at Toya, who’s standing beside them. Toya is also quite tall, he’s taller than Akito but still not quite reaching Rui’s height.

“Would you like to play this racing game with me? I’d ask Akito but he’s rather busy playing with Kamishiro-senpai over there.” Toya glances up and gestures towards the two of them with his head, which Mizuki follows. They can see the guys standing in front of a screen, holding red and blue guns respectively and shooting at the zombies on screen with a serious look on their face. It’s a little amusing how competitive they look.

Mizuki turns back and nods at Toya. “Sure!”

“To be totally honest, I’ve never tried this before.” Mizuki says, gripping the false steering wheel. “I’ve never even been to an arcade.”

“Never?” Toya replies, sitting in the seat beside their’s.

“Yup. This is all new to me.” Mizuki says, focusing on the screen. There was a customization option for the car they could choose and they were having way too much fun with it. Toya on the other hand had just accepted the default and was now watching Mizuki pick.

“That’s quite surprising, actually. Not even once?” He asks.

“Not even once. Is it really that surprising?”

“You just seem like the type to enjoy arcades.” He hums, drumming his hands on the wheel and Mizuki finally moves on from the customization screen to start the race.

“That means you'll have an advantage against me for this game.” Mizuki huffs, readying for the whistle that signals the start.

“I’m not that good at this game either, don’t worry.”

Toya says that, but really he is far too humble. Mizuki instantly realizes this because the moment the whistle is sounded and signalled the beginning of the race, his foot steps on the gas and he’s off like a rocket, leaving Mizuki to eat his dust.

He easily rounds the corner with ease as Mizuki slams into the wall, losing their momentum. By the time Mizuki rounds the second corner, Toya’s way ahead. It doesn’t help that he’s leaving a trail of banana peels on the road that cause them to slip and slow down.

“I thought you said you weren’t good at this?” Mizuki asks incredulously, eyes not leaving their screen as they step harder on the pedal in hopes that their pink painted car drives faster. It doesn’t.

“I’m really not…” Toya replies calmly, effortlessly drifting past another turn. Mizuki grits their teeth. They focus instead on trying to catch up to him, a task that is nearly impossible with the way they keep slowing when making turns. This was way too difficult for a first play.

There’s a few more minutes of play where Mizuki learns how to turn more smoothly, still bumping occasionally but less frequently. The items that they’re collecting aren’t really helping in that Toya isn’t even close enough in range to use them. He’s probably lapped them like twice by the time Mizuki’s finished with their first run.

With a glance at the mini map on the top right of their screen, Mizuki can see that Toya has made it to the finish line, except he was at a complete stand still. Weird.

“Toya-kun?”

“Hm?” He hums, looking over, his hands off the wheel now. With a glance at his screen, Mizuki can see that he is just a step away from winning, sitting just before the line.

“Why are you not crossing the finish line?” Mizuki asks evenly, biting on their bottom lip as they race down a straight path.

Toya shrugs, watching them. He winces as they slam into another wall. “I’m waiting for you.”

“For some reason that makes me very annoyed,” Mizuki says jokingly, about eighty percent through their last lap. They’re honestly a bit proud of themselves for making it this far so fast. At least they had beat out the bots.

As Mizuki races closer to the finish line, they notice Toya slowly inching closer to the line, a tap of his foot at a time. He’s watching their screen with an amused look on his face and it only strengthens Mizuki’s resolve to finish.

“There’s a shortcut if you turn left.” Rui says, suddenly appearing from behind. Mizuki nearly jolts at his voice, but manages to hold on and turn at his discretion. Rui and Akito must have just finished their zombie game before joining them at their side. Mizuki’s a bit curious at their scores but frankly, they were too focused on their own game right now.

The shortcut cuts about half of the distance they needed to get to the finish line and Mizuki fights the grin on their face.

While Toya’s a bit distracted at Akito asking “what the hell are you doing,” before shouting at Mizuki’s approaching car, Mizuki zooms past Toya and finishes before he can press on his gas pedal.

“YES!” Mizuki exclaims, throwing up their hands in excitement as Toya laughs at Akito’s scowls.

“You literally had it!” Akito says in disbelief, to which Toya only chuckles and turns to Mizuki.

“Good game, you did well for your first time.”

“You only say that because you’re too nice to say that I sucked.” Mizuki sighs, getting up from their seat. They glance at Rui, who’s eyes glances over the air hockey table for a few seconds before looking around again. “You wanna play air hockey?”

He whirls his head back at them, eyes widened a bit before sheepishly nodding. To be fair, Mizuki could read him fairly well, even with the most minute changes in expression. They think it’s because they’ve known each other for so long, since Rui could understand them better than themselves.

“Why don’t we play as teams then, Otouto-kun and Toya-kun against me and Rui?” Mizuki suggests to the two boys.

Mizuki suddenly realizes that they have no idea how to play. In concept, it was easy. You block the enemy from hitting their puck into your goal using the weird looking things you hold onto. Easy enough. The bad part was that Akito gets extremely competitive and Toya feeds off of his energy and their shots fly so fast across the board that Mizuki barely has any time to react. It’s a blessing that Rui’s here, at least.

He mentions offhandedly that he would play with Nene all the time back in their elementary school days, that Nene was insanely good at offense that Rui eventually learned how to defend all too well out of sheer need of survival. (His words. He may be exaggerating.)

They have to admit though, he is extremely fast. His hand eye coordination is scarily accurate and Mizuki thinks it’s probably a result of building for all those years. Only he would be able to stand a chance against the two monsters of arcade players in front of them.

The sound of the puck hitting off of the side of the machine and their…. pushing thingys. (That’s the real official name. Let’s be honest, Mizuki doesn’t know it.) Mizuki’s almost frozen standing off to the side with their hand unmoving as Rui’s arms fly left and right blocking and shooting the puck back and forth. A few times he manages to land a shot into the opposing goal, only once do they land one in their goal.

“Akiyama, we’re practically playing against only Kamishiro-senpai at this point,” Akito complains, taking a breather as he holds the puck in his hands. “Put your back into it.”

“I would if I could comprehend where the puck is! You guys are hitting it too fast!” Mizuki bites back.

“All part of the game.” Toya looks confident, a bit smug if you asked Mizuki, as he leans against the table on his hands. Akito and Toya make for a really good team to be honest. They read each other so well that they hardly need to communicate aloud, one covering up for the other’s blind spots. It was interesting to say the least.

“Don’t worry, I’ll still win.” Rui says, looking at Mizuki. “Just focus on having fun. Or me.”

He shrugs, mockingly smug and obviously pleased with the joke. Mizuki laughs a bit at him, shaking their head as a puck slides into their goal with a loud clatter.

“Your puck.” Akito’s gaze is focused on Rui, watching him as Rui grabs the puck from his side.

The game continues in a tense manner, the puck flying even faster if possible. Mizuki pretty much retired off to the side, watching as Rui faced off single-handedly against the two guys on the other side. It’s a tense match, the score being 3-3 before Rui’s puck slides into the opposing goal and the announcer’s voice exclaims Rui’s win.

Mizuki cheers, running straight towards Rui with their arms outstretched and thrown over his shoulders to celebrate their win. Because sure, they didn’t contribute much but they were a team and Mizuki’s cheering definitely offered moral support. His hands wrap around their waist, soft and gentle, before he pulls away first, hands still on Mizuki’s side.

They’re acutely aware of the fact that they’re grinning really hard right now, smiling at the idea that Rui put in so much effort and won. They’re also aware when Rui’s eyes shift a bit and glance at their lips for a second. Mizuki’s stomach flutters a bit before he glances back up to their eyes just as quickly and gives a small smile and pulls away fully.

There’s a sense of disappointment that drops in Mizuki’s stomach as Rui tells Akito and Toya that it was a good game. They can tell that Akito is a bit sour at losing to Rui for a second time that day (the first being the zombie shooter game) and Mizuki giggles a bit at his pout despite themselves. (He would claim that he wasn’t pouting, he “wasn’t even that upset anyways” but it was small and definitely obvious.)

They play a few more small games after that, some basketball hoops where Akito completely dominates them, a jump rope type game, something that resembles bowling, and a few others before Akito announces his departure.

“Alright, I’m gonna get going now. Ena’s being annoying and asking me to get her something on the way back.” Akito sighs, sliding his phone back into his pocket.

Mizuki giggles. “Sounds like Ena. Be safe!”

He doesn’t respond verbally, only waving a hand in the air with Toya trailing behind him with a small bye as the two leave.

“Shall we get going too, then?” Rui asks, leaning down to Mizuki, his hands in his pockets. Mizuki nods, checking the time. Somehow, they had managed to play at the arcade for a grand total of three hours, despite only feeling like one had passed. It was all so terribly exciting and fun that Mizuki thinks it might go down as one of their favorite days.

The walk to the bus stop is anything but quiet. The two of them are carrying bags of their winnings, mostly Rui with his plushies from the crane machines, and both of them rambling about their favorite parts of the day. The funniest moments being a close tie between when the puck nearly flew and hit Akito in the face and when Mizuki nearly fell while trying the jumping game over a false jump rope made of lights.

The cold air is refreshing as the wind blows over Mizuki’s face. After being a bit stuffy in the arcade despite the air conditioning, the deep breath of cool air is satisfying. By the time Mizuki reaches their home, Rui and their conversation hasn’t ended since they first left the arcade.

At their gate, Mizuki almost idles there, wanting to bring up more things to say but Rui speaks first.

“Go on inside, it’s getting cold.”

“Ah, but you’re wearing even less than I am.” Mizuki points out.

“I can handle it.” Rui smiles, before gasping and reaching for his back pocket. “Oh! Right, before I forget, this is for you. I couldn’t give it to you earlier.”

His hand opens to reveal the My Melody keychain he had won at the crane machine earlier. He gestures it towards Mizuki and they grab it, uncertain. The feeling of it is soft against their palm.

“Me? Really?” Rui only nods and Mizuki smiles widely. “Thank you… I didn’t even get anything for you!”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just repaying my gratitude for you.”

Mizuki looks up at him and they notice how soft his face is. Not in texture, but emotionally, how he’s looking at them like the two of them were the only people on this street. Like he wanted to stay with them just a bit longer but was holding himself together just barely. He glances at their lips for a split-second again and Mizuki feels that familiar sense of butterflies.

Rui’s mean. He’s a tease with too much self control and Mizuki wants to abandon sense and just grab him by the collar and pull him in. Give him a kiss in return for their gratitude and watch him fluster. Give him a goodbye kiss before running inside and hiding out of embarrassment.

Mizuki leans a little towards him and he only watches, unmoving as Mizuki takes a step closer. It’s irritating how he’s almost a head taller than them. They think they could probably write an essay on it, how they would have to tippy-toe and even then probably still not be able to reach.

The two of them are close enough to kiss, Mizuki thinks. If he leans his head a bit closer, tilts a bit more downward as they tilted up, they could probably meet lips. If Mizuki were to reach a hand out for his face and pull him closer they would be able to.

Mizuki isn’t that confident though. There’s no drive for them to ruin what the two of them have, nothing making them really want to risk losing their friendship over some measly inkling of a feeling that they want something more. So they reach for their bag in his hand instead, stepping away once it’s in their grasp. “Thank you, Rui. Really. I’ll pay you back someday.”

He chuckles, the sound of it sounding amused but also with a hint of something else. His face is a little blank, more out of wanting to hide something. Disappointed? Awkward? Uncomfortable? Mizuki doesn’t know. They only hope it isn’t the latter. He smiles though, as he always does. “I said not to worry, didn’t I?”

Mizuki hums, opening the gate to their house. “Thanks for walking me, I’ll get going now!”

He nods, rocking back and forth on his heels as he simply waits to see Mizuki safe in their home. When Mizuki walks down the stone path and reaches the door, they turn to see Rui still standing there, waiting for them to go inside fully.

“Get home safe, Rui!” Mizuki calls, waving at him.

“I will! Should I text you?”

Mizuki laughs, nodding and giving a thumbs up before opening their door and heading inside. They watch by the window as Rui stands there for a second, gazing at the door a bit wistfully before turning and finally walking to the bus for his house.

They watch for a second, like he did, before he turns out of sight and they slump onto their couch. What was it that they really wanted? Friendship? Or something else they didn’t want to think about further? What was it that they wanted more?

Because if Mizuki was to admit that they wanted something more with him, they would be admitting that they would be able to risk their friendship along with it. And that was a terrifying thought. What if Mizuki was reading the signals all wrong? What if Rui had just been the kind person he always was? If he had never once even thought about them in that sort of light? That single thought itself was enough to scare them.

Whatever it was, it was nothing they had to burden themselves with right now. First thing they had to do was to get out of those boring jeans. Then maybe they could have an existential crisis when they were supposed to be asleep.

Rui: I’m home~

Amia: [Picture Attached]

Amia: my melody with mr. cat!

Rui: Cute

Chapter Text

Rui spins around on the chair, leaning back as Mizuki goes through their supplies. To be honest, they were supposed to be checking to see if they were missing anything, but all they could think about was the fact that they were about to do Rui’s makeup and it was absolutely nerve-wracking.

What if he doesn’t like it? What if they mess up? What if he shuns them and never speaks to them again? (Okay, maybe they’re overreacting, but it’s scary. Their heart is pounding so fast it feels like they might pass out.)

They had said they wanted to do his make-up over call the other day as more of a joke. Kind of. They were half serious about it but they didn’t expect him to actually take them up on the offer. Now, several weeks later, Rui had free time that had matched up with Mizuki’s schedule and he texted first to ask about it. (And who was Mizuki to decline?)

So now, Rui was sitting in their room on their spinny desk chair staring at the ceiling as Mizuki tried to calm their nerves.

They’ve known Rui for three years now, there was nothing to be nervous about. They knew him like the back of their hand, in fact they knew him the longest out of all of their friends! And yet that fact only makes them more nervous.

Mizuki takes a deep breath. They're trying to convince themselves that it’ll be okay. That they can crush their feelings down in the depths of their soul and put make-up on Rui’s face without wanting to crush his lips against theirs. It was a simple task. Maybe if they avoided doing lip stuff they could ignore their feelings. Stick with the eyes, Mizuki.

They spin to face Rui, who’s still from spinning on the chair and was watching their back just moments before. He smiles at them and raises his eyebrow in questioning. Mizuki takes a breath.

“Ready?”

Rui hums. “Mhm, waiting for you.”

Mizuki’s cheeks burn a bit before they turn around to face their desk again, pretending to look around in their makeup bag. God they were so nervous and the fact that Rui was saying things like that didn’t exactly help.

“Oh, I forgot! Have you washed your face yet?” Mizuki asks.

“Ah, is that a thing?”

“Go wash up! I’m still trying to work out what look I want to try on you.”

Rui nods, getting up and heading to the restroom. “First door to the left?” he asks, glancing towards them. His hands slide into his pockets easily as he stands.

Mizuki hums a yes at him and turns back towards the dressing table, focused on what they want to try out. To be honest, they don’t own much makeup. They only have the basics and a few lip colors as well as eyeliners or mascaras. Ena was always the makeup person, who Mizuki would accompany whenever she needed new supplies. Mizuki just bought what Ena suggested was good for them.

The collection looks quite large though, despite having “only the basics.” It practically fills the entire desk. If this was the amount Mizuki had, they could only imagine Ena’s drawers.

Mizuki fiddles with the cap of their eyeliner, thinking. Maybe they could try their signature pink liner on Rui. They liked the look of it on them and it gave a pop of color. Knowing Rui, he would probably like it as well, considering how much he loved neon and bright colors. A bit of eyeshadow would be fun with a cute soft lip to top it off too.

That settles the plan then, they supposed.

“Boo.”

Mizuki shrieks, dropping the hot pink liner onto the floor, luckily, with its cap snapped shut. With a hand over their heart, they turn to find Rui standing behind them, leaned over and his head at the level of their face. He’s wearing a mischievous smirk, something Mizuki was all too familiar with. They notice that a few strands of his hair are wet and they hold back the urge to reach out.

“What. Is wrong with you.” Mizuki says in a flat tone, heart still beating out of their chest. Rui only laughs, standing straight.

“I’m washed up!” He gestures to his face, hand fluttering under his chin to make his point. Mizuki only sighs, their lip quirking up into a small smile.

“Here, wear this.” Mizuki hands over a cat headband to him, to which he takes gingerly.

“What’s this for?”

“Keeps your hair out of the way as I do your makeup. And it’s cute.”

“No wonder you bought it then.” He says, putting it on. “Cute things suit you.”

Mizuki coughs. Sometimes they wonder if he’s aware of the things he says. Of how they sound. If Mizuki was going to be completely honest, it sounded flirty, but that was just Rui. How he always was with them. It was highly possible they were just reading too much into things that weren’t there. But stil, they could pretend.

They’re also trying really hard to ignore how cute he looks in the cat headband, the ears poking out of the band. “Right. Uhm, sit down! I got an idea of what to try.”

“Looking forward to it.” He says, his voice low. He sits and looks expectantly at them as Mizuki realizes how much of a struggle this might be today.

Mizuki hovers around him with a wipe, wiping at his cheeks and around his nose. It was important to have a clean face before doing makeup, even if he had already washed up. If Rui’s confused as to why Mizuki’s still using a wet wipe to clean his face further, he doesn’t ask.

Instead, he only closes his eyes, allowing Mizuki to gently wipe over his eyelids as well. The idea that he trusted Mizuki like this without needing to say anything was overwhelmingly sweet. Mizuki’s gentle with how they’re touching him, trying their hardest to be soft yet firm to get whatever stubborn dirt off his face. It’s different from doing it on their own face, since they don’t know how much pressure they could put into their hand on Rui.

They toss the wipe, finally grabbing one of their foundations and applying it gently onto Rui’s face. The task is so easy that Mizuki finds their mind wandering. Although they’re using one of the cushions for their foundation application, they find that his skin hardly needs any cover up.

Somehow, he has almost no pores nor blackheads, his skin smooth. Although his skin is just a smidge darker than Mizuki’s, since he goes out far more often than they do, the liquid hardly makes any difference to his already perfect complexion, so concealer was a step they could easily skip. Mizuki applies it lightly though, just as a reason to continue staring at his face.

They carry on rather easily, adding blush with a light red that brings color into his cheeks. Highlighter to the corners of his eyes and nose. To be honest, Rui already is quite good-looking in Mizuki’s standards, and Mizuki only wants to enhance some of their favorite features about him. His eyes mainly. Because of this, there’s not much to really add to his face.

They move onto eyeshadow, taking the pallette and rubbing at one of the shades with their ring finger instinctively. They lean towards Rui, applying it to the outer corners of his eyelids with a light dabbing touch. As if he was something delicate that could shatter if they pressed too hard.

Afterall, in middle school, they had related to each other far too well, bonding over the idea of isolation and loneliness. They’d both been on the brink of losing hope and showed up that one fateful day when they met on that very rooftop. Sometimes Mizuki wonders what would’ve happened if they hadn’t crossed paths, the thought too dark for Mizuki to pursue.

They focus their attention on the red eyeshadow instead, dabbing underneath his eyes with the color as well as a bit over the lids. Through this whole process, Rui’s eyes remain closed and relaxed, almost as if he was comfortable with being in Mizuki’s capable hands. They smile a little at the thought.

“Tell me what you’re doing.” Rui says, as Mizuki backs up again and places the pallette down. “I want to know.”

“You could always watch me in the mirror,” Mizuki says a bit quietly, more focused on staring at their work on his face.

“Wouldn’t be a surprise in the end though,” Rui frowns a bit, eyes still closed but eyebrows furrowed slightly. He has a habit of expressing himself so vividly with his face that Mizuki finds endearing.

Mizuki exhales in light amusement. “Whatever you say. I’m going to do eyeliner now, keep your eyes closed.”

Using their favorite hot pink liner, they rest their hand on the side of his face, drawing the line along his crease a few times before being satisfied with how it looks. With this task, which is much more difficult to get decent, Mizuki manages to ignore how soft his skin is, how warm it is under their hand. Almost. They’re still aware that their position is probably pretty intimate but with their hyperfocus on underlining his waterline, the thought is easily pushed out.

Unfortunately, the intimacy thought does not leave them as they move onto the lipstick. They’re probably red in the face with how warm their face feels at being so close to Rui’s. Mizuki’s so glad his eyes are still closed. There was no way Mizuki would be able to keep their sanity if he was watching them the entire time.

“Lips are next!” Mizuki announces, the excitement in their voice almost impossible to hide. Despite their nerves and the butterflies jumping in their stomach, doing Rui’s makeup was incredibly fun. They hardly had the chance to do so with anyone else, only once or twice with An or Ena. Having Rui was a good experience too.

And for a more simple reason, they just wanted to see how this shade would look on him. (Mizuki had chosen it with Rui in mind, actually, and finally had the chance to out it to use.)

“Is it the glossy one you were using the other day?” Rui asks, opening his eyes a bit to peek at the shade. Mizuki’s a little surprised that he still remembered the lipgloss they had used on call that one time. It was a brief mention too, something Mizuki themself hardly remembered, but Rui had always remembered the little details. Paid attention to everything around him and memorized every small action Mizuki did. It was a nice feeling.

“This one’s matte,” Mizuki replies, standing in front of him again. They begin to press the reddish hue to his lips, holding his chin still. This action feels even more intimate than before and Mizuki bites their lip to ignore the feeling.

They steady their hands, leaning in a bit to follow the natural line of his lips. They’re so focused on not missing a spot that when they back up a bit to admire their work, they finally notice Rui staring up at them. They have a feeling he’s been watching them for a bit while Mizuki was focused doing his lips. He looks a bit flushed, but it’s hard to tell over the layer of concealer and foundation.

His gaze is a bit flustering nevertheless, Mizuki blinking a few times before swallowing hard. Mizuki coughs, “I thought you said you wanted to be surprised?”

“Changed my mind.” He shrugs, his voice soft. His eyes are still ok as he speaks. “I was curious on how you would look being so focused.”

“And how does it look?” Mizuki questions, their voice almost equally as soft. There’s a brief pause in the air where Mizuki realizes that they’re holding their breath, just waiting for Rui’s response. They’re watching him, eye contact so heavy that they can’t look away.

Mizuki slightly bites at the inside of their lip, nervous, and Rui catches the movement, his eyes flicking down before he blinks hard.

“If only you had that much conviction to go to school as you do with my makeover.” He says with an exhale, the teasing smile sliding easily on his face. The tension shatters instantly and Mizuki rolls their eyes playfully at him. There’s a soft disappointment in their stomach but they easily ignore it.

What was there to be disappointed about? What was Mizuki expecting? A confession? A kiss? If they really wanted one they would lean in themself. Mizuki had plenty of opportunities. (Two or three including this one. It was more opportunities than ‘friends’ should have but Mizuki doesn’t want to ruin that title yet.) It was unfair to be disappointed in something that wouldn’t happen.

“Whatever, let me finish up. Close your eyes again.” Mizuki pouts, gesturing with their hands. Rui laughs a bit, following the instructions.

“As you say.”

Rui looks at Mizuki’s work in the mirror, scared to even touch the powder and liner on his face. To say the least, he thinks that Mizuki’s far too talented with their hands to be able to make him look so… pretty.

There’s some sort of blush on his face that isn’t from his natural color, rather, a light pink shade alongside a soft red color on his lips. He isn’t quite sure about anything else that has been placed gently onto his skin but he knows that Mizuki’s efforts show.

The hot pink liner at the corner of his eyes is his favorite touch, something that reminds him of Mizuki since they had always had that same pink liner on their own face. He grins at the prospect that they would be matching.

“We match.” He says aloud, pointing it out to Mizuki. He glances at them in the mirror, meeting eyes through the reflection.

“Oh! You’re right, I didn’t even think of that. I can change it if you don’t like it.”

“No! I like it! I like matching with you.” Rui protests, leaning away from Mizuki’s outreached hands, meeting eyes face to face. He adds with a grin, “It’s cute.”

Mizuki makes an oddly flustered face, which disappears in a quick second as they smile back. “I’m glad you do then.”

He holds the gaze a little longer, his gaze flicking back down at their lips which are glossed just like the other day and he looks away.

He has to stop doing that. Rui really can’t help his attention being drawn there; it’s pretty and shiny and incredibly infuriating how he can hardly take his mind off their lips. Once was an accident but twice was definitely a mistake and it was getting really difficult to hold back.

Fortunately for him, he has enough self restraint to not move a muscle, not lean forward and catch their lips on his and figure out what flavor their lipgloss was. Not that he wanted to know it of course. He wasn’t curious.

He glances back at the mirror with a satisfied look. “You did really well, Mizuki. I look really good.”

“Oh please, you don’t need to flatter me.” Mizuki waves away his compliment, smiling despite themself.

He chuckles, “I’m being genuine. You know I never lie to you.”

And he does mean what he says. He hardly ever lies, and when he does it’s generally just as a joke. He also means what he says every time he compliments Mizuki. Sometimes he feels as if they lack a sort of self confidence that he had only recently found for himself. A part of himself wants to help Mizuki find it too.

Another part of him wants him to give up self restraint and give into his want to kiss Mizuki so they would understand the depth of his trust in them or his true genuine appreciation of all they’ve done for him but he smashes it down. It would be a disaster if it would ever happen.

Rui isn’t a spontaneous person, as he thinks everything through ten times over before doing something. And when he has his mind set, he rarely holds back. This is the only time he makes an exception. Mizuki is far too important for his stupid desires to run rampant and risk losing the first person who ever truly understood him. Throwing caution to the wind was not the right move in this case.

He was a patient guy. He could wait. He would wait, because he can’t step a foot forward towards whatever he and Mizuki’s relationship is slowly turning into. Rui’s terrified of the implications, what it would mean, and he doesn’t want to know.

So he would wait, see how it goes. How he feels. How they feel. Because they were much more important than his feelings were.

Mizuki smiles and Rui smiles back.

Chapter Text

“Mizuki, it’s your birthday! Should I take you somewhere?” Rui asks, catching up easily beside them as they walk down the hall. It was one of the rare days that they had made it to school, on time most of all. An occasion to be celebrated alongside their birthday.

“Hm? Oh, it is my birthday huh.” Mizuki notes. They’d almost completely forgotten about it in the passing weeks. It wasn’t exactly something they celebrated a lot.

“Let’s go somewhere, hm?” Rui grins, leaning down to look at them. Mizuki laughs, pushing him lightly.

“Mizukiii~!” A voice called.

Mizuki turns to face the source, who is currently running down the hall to catch up to both Rui and them.

“Hey, wait up!”

“An?” Mizuki voices, surprised. The two of them stop as An pauses in front of them, breathing hard. “You shouldn’t run in the halls as a disciplinary student.”

“Mizuki! It’s your birthday, right?” An asks, blatantly ignoring them. They’re hunched over, out of breath from their run.

“Wow, how did you guys remember this better than me…” They muse, looking up at Rui who looks mildly entertained.

“You should,” An pants, “come to my dad’s cafe. I’ll make you something, on the house.”

“Really? Geez, you’re totally spoiling me.”

“Am I invited too?” Rui asks, tilting his head.

An looks up at him. “I don’t see why not, but you’re paying for yourself, Kamishiro-senpai. I’m only covering Mizuki.”

“Fine by me!” Rui smiles. “Shall we go then? After school?”

“Ahh, alright I’ll go.” Mizuki concedes. It would be impossible to bail out when both An and Rui wanted to do something nice for their birthday. Besides, Mizuki couldn’t turn down an invitation where Rui was concerned.

The bell rings, signaling for their next class. Rui gives the two of them a small wave before heading off to his own class as An walks alongside Mizuki.

“You two are inseparable.” An comments, sighing. She slips an arm into Mizuki’s and hugs it to her side.

“What? No we’re not.” They deny, shoving An lightly.

“You literally are. Glued to the hip. I rarely see you without Kamishiro-senpai to be honest.”

“Name one time.” Mizuki insists.

“Just now.”

“He was saying happy birthday! Something else.”

“The rooftop the other day during lunch time.”

“It was a coincidence!”

“Last week on the rooftop again when you two were supposed to be in class.” An states.

“Old habit, can’t help it.”

“Okay, the sports festival dinner then. You were literally hand feeding him.”

“Special occasion?” Mizuki tries. An gives them a pointed glance and they sigh. “Okay, fine. Maybe we’re close but it literally doesn’t mean anything! We’re just friends.”

“Whatever you say, Mizuki. I know what it looks like.” An passes Mizuki into class first, shaking her head as Mizuki furrows their eyebrows.

It wasn’t like that, really. Sure they had been talking a lot more recently, especially with daily calls and texts before they hopped onto a call with N25, but it wasn’t anything different. They spoke about anything and everything and that was normal. Like middle school again.

It isn’t anything special, they tell themselves, ignoring how their heart squeezes at the thought.

An leaves first, telling them to take their time as they head to the cafe. Her excuse was that she had to “prepare” but for some reason Mizuki thinks there’s another hidden motive underneath it.

They take it at face value though, trying not to think too hard about it, especially about what she had said earlier. Right now, Mizuki and Rui are taking a small detour before heading to the cafe.

They walk a few circles around the block, chatting and window shopping before Mizuki decides that it’s probably been long enough for An. They were a little grateful though for the few moments they had with Rui by themselves.

A jingle rings above them as they step into the cafe. Rui follows right behind Mizuki as they scan the bar for seats. Unsurprisingly, there aren't too many customers, considering their birthday rests on a weekday. They spot An almost instantly, tending behind the register.

“An!” Mizuki calls, waving. Rui takes the opportunity to find good seats for the two of them as Mizuki takes off to the counter.

“Mizuki! So glad you could make it! I see Kamishiro-senpai’s with you.” An glances at him where he had found an empty table and booth and was now staring at the menu.

“Oh please, he said he’s going to treat me!” Mizuki grins, leaning against the table.

“Well he’ll have to fight me for the bill then.” An crosses her arms, glaring at him. He pays her no mind as he picks out his order and Mizuki laughs. “Anyways, as much as I love your attention, you shouldn’t leave him alone. Who knows if he decides to blow up the place or not…” An trails off.

“He won’t. He’s not like that.” Mizuki pulls away, waving An’s worries off. They begin walking to his table, ignoring how An says something under her breath that sounds sort of like, “whatever you say…”

“Have you picked something you like?” Mizuki starts, sitting in the seat in front of him. He looks up and tilts his head.

“Sort of. What would you recommend?” He lays the menu down and Mizuki begins pointing at the snacks section.

“Well definitely their fries. Their milkshakes are pretty good too and Otouto-kun always gets the pancakes so they have to be good.” Mizuki hums, scanning over the food items. “You would probably like the Cookies and Cream milkshakes they have here!”

“I’ll get that then.”

“Hey, pick something you want, not whatever I say.”

“It would be disrespectful to ignore your profound opinion though!” Rui protests, making eye contact with An. She comes by, quickly writing down their orders before disappearing again in a flash. “And I always end up liking whatever you suggest anyways.”

“I know you too well.” Mizuki sighs, leaning against their palm.

They did. They knew his likes and dislikes like it was the back of their hand. His favorite quotes from shows or movies, most of his inventions and his schedule of school and work. Yet, the one thing they had no idea about was how he felt about them. Afterall, Rui was an affectionate person, the way he treats them isn’t anything different from how he would treat Tsukasa-senpai or his other friends (at least, to their knowledge).

Was it bad to wish for that shared solitude again? To know that they were his only friend with utmost certainty? That the two of them only had each other to rely on all the way back all those years ago? Definitely. The more rational side of Mizuki already knew that.

He’s happy. If he’s happy, that’s all that really matters. It was selfish to long for something more. Something more with them. They could be content with what they have now.

They have to be.

Mizuki blinks at the sight of Rui’s hand in front of their face. He chuckles, “Earth to Mizuki?”

“Sorry. Zoned out.” They sigh, dropping their hand to the table.

Rui nods, “I know. I didn’t think you would be staring at me for that long.” At their horrified expression he laughs. “I’m kidding, you weren’t staring at me. The back wall, maybe.”

Mizuki squints their eyes at him and he smiles innocently.

“Alright, break it up you two, here’s the orders.” An rushes by, dropping off Mizuki’s large platter of fries and strawberry milkshake, alongside Rui’s Cookies and Cream milkshake with a slice of cake on the side. An leaves, mumbling, “old married couple is right.”

Mizuki bites back a smile and grabs their tray, sliding it over as they pick a fry up. They have no idea why fries are their favorite food to be honest, but there’s a simple pleasure in enjoying it. They’re glad that An remembered to give them a bunch of sauces too.

“Hold on, let me cool that down for you.” Rui speaks, leaning over to pull the tray over to his side. He slides over the slice of cake in its place. “Here, try some of mine.”

Mizuki looks at him, a little wide eyed, as he blows over the plate and fans it. The heat from the single fry in their fingers presses onto their skin but they almost don’t feel it. They’re touched that he remembered — the fact that hot foods was not their favorite — considering that they were so excited that they themselves had almost forgotten.

“Ah, thanks.” They manage, dropping their fry onto the tray and eating a small bite out of his cake. It’s strawberry flavored, with pink and white frosting on the side with little strawberry slices on the top, completed with a small bow on the side. They smile at the sight of that. “Look, it has a bow like I do!”

“Mhm, saw it on the menu and thought it was cute.” Rui mentions, still fanning over the fries for them. He nods his head at them, “How does it taste?”

“Good! Sweet. You’d like it.” Mizuki tries another bite before cutting a small chunk and raising it to his face. “Here!”

It’s second habit, almost, just to feed him casually. Mizuki does it so often to other people that it never crossed their mind that it could be a little intimate as an action. The first time they had done it, he had looked at them with a raised eyebrow while Mizuki tried to play it off with an excuse, and in the end he took their hand in his and fed himself the bite. Afterwards, it was just normal. Natural.

Rui glances at it, a smile on his lips, as he leans down to take a bite. His free hand cups under his chin in case any bit falls from the spoon. Mizuki raises an eyebrow in a silent question and Rui nods.

“Tastes good. Glad I chose it.” He looks down at the plate of fries and slides it back over to Mizuki. “This should be cooled down now.”

They mumble a thanks, a bit flustered, and trades the plates, suddenly aware of how it would look for other people if they turned their heads and saw the two of them sitting alone.

Like a date. Their head supplies, helpfully. Mizuki bites their tongue.

There’s a sort of comfortable silence as they eat, Mizuki absentmindedly chewing their fries one by one as Rui eats his cake in an exact manner: a cut of the layers, a slice of strawberry, a lick of frosting, repeat.

He’s exact like that, routinely, even if he doesn’t seem that way with his spontaneous ideas. Mizuki knows, though, that he’s hardly ever spontaneous. More like, he was waiting for the right time to discuss it.

“Mizuki.” Rui says quietly, calling for their attention. They look up at him and he points to his cheek.

“Hm?” Mizuki tilts their head. What did he want? A kiss?

Why is that the first thing they think of?

“You’ve got some frosting on your cheek.” He clarifies, Mizuki’s heart pounding from their previous guess.

“Oh,” they mumble, swiping at their cheek without much thought. They look back at him to confirm if it was gone and he shakes his head.

“Here.” Rui leans over, his hand out as he cups Mizuki’s cheek with one hand. His thumb swipes gently at their face and Mizuki freezes. His fingertips are warm under their skin and they almost linger on their face.

Mizuki wants them to linger.

He pulls back, blinking. They haven’t broken eye contact until he looks away first, staring at his thumb, the white frosting still smeared on his fingertip. He lifts it to his mouth and cleans it off.

“Gross, Rui. That was just on my face.” Mizuki laughs. They move on, because if they don’t they're forced to think about what that gesture could mean. They don’t want to, even if they had just watched as he wrapped his lips around his thumb and wondered if they feel just as soft as they look.

His tongue darts out to lick his lips and Mizuki looks away.

God they’re a coward. Back then and now. Sure they might have grown up a bit, changed their style and everything but at the heart of it all, Mizuki Akutama is a coward and can’t face their fears. Loneliness never really leaves someone, they suppose.

“So what, it was my cake.” Rui replies, smiling back easily. Mizuki rolls their eyes playfully and picks up a fry. They point it at him lazily.

“You, my friend, are a child.” Mizuki reaches back to eat the fry but Rui’s hand catches their wrist. Their eyes widen and he pulls it towards him where he instead takes the fry and eats it.

“Glad you know it,” he grins, sipping on his milkshake as Mizuki fights the contagious smile on their face.

When the food’s all done and finished, Rui heads to the bathroom as Mizuki stacks the plates up. It makes for a quicker clean-up.

An walks by, picking their dishes up and gives Mizuki a knowing look. Mizuki tilts their head and An sighs.

“It’s not like that.” Mizuki says before An can get a word in. They don’t know why they’re clarifying but they felt the need to do so. Especially with what An implied earlier.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to, I can tell.” Mizuki huffs, crossing their arms.

“I’m just saying, this is way more intimate than friends should be. Have you ever seen me and — god forbid — Akito like that?” An shakes her head, wiping down the table.

“No, thank god for that.” Mizuki frowns.

“Exactly. You and Rui aren’t just friends, deal with it.”

“Whatever An, go back to work.”

“You get rid of me so easily.” An pouts, pretending to be horridly offended. She walks off as Rui comes back, giving him a smile.

Mizuki sits upright, waving at him to sit beside them. He obliges.

There’s instantly no space between the two of them, his shoulder and thigh pressing against their own as he scoots in. The physical touch is welcome, even if it’s fabric to fabric.

Rui looks over to them as taps his foot, as if trying to make up his mind. They watch him curiously as he turns fully towards them.

“Happy birthday, again, Mizuki. I, uh, got you something.” His hand goes to the back of his neck as he pulls something from his pocket, a small red velvet box. Mizuki can instantly tell it’s one of those jewelry boxes.

He looks nervous, though he usually isn’t, and that makes Mizuki nervous as well. “Aw, you didn’t have to.” Mizuki laughs breathlessly, taking it in their hands. It’s soft in their palm.

“Open it.” His voice is gentle, soft like the velvet.

Inside is a pretty necklace. It’s simple, something Mizuki would’ve looked at and thought was pretty in a store, with its small heart pendant. They thought perhaps Rui knew that, that they would see it and think of how to pair it with the numerous clothes in their closet, how to wear it and make it look less of a simple delicacy but with purpose.

It’s pretty and Mizuki thinks that they don’t deserve Rui.

“It’s so pretty,” Mizuki says quietly, still staring at the necklace. The heart pendant is cute, an outline of a heart shape with the inside of it carved out. Simple, yet pretty. “I love it.”

Rui smiles, a look in his eyes that Mizuki can’t decipher. It’s soft, Mizuki thinks, but everything is soft with him. “Good. I thought you would like it.”

“I love it.” Mizuki repeats. “It’s perfect.”

“Here, I'll put it on for you.” He gestures for them to turn around, taking the necklace out of its box. Their fingers brush and Mizuki’s heart pounds. They turn, their back towards him now, and bite their lip in anticipation.

It’s scary not to see him. Not scary in a sense that they feared him, but the nervousness of not knowing what was coming. Mizuki fears the unknown.

And then his hands wrap around them, the necklace coming with, and he’s so careful not to catch their hair on the chain and they shiver.

“There.” His voice comes in like a whisper and he pulls Mizuki’s hair out of the chain. The back of his hand brushes against their neck, a breath of warmth, before it disappears again. Mizuki puts a hand to their heart, feeling their pulse jump. They’re also vaguely aware that they're holding the pendant in their palm. “Pretty.” He says, more under his breath and to himself than anything else, which only makes their heart skip a beat.

They hesitate before turning to face him, his face closer than they expected. He’s leaning so close that they’re mere inches apart and Mizuki doesn’t want to move. Can’t move. He’s watching them, like he always does, with a weighted gaze and Mizuki’s eyes glance down before the moment passes and there’s space between them again and Rui’s looking away.

They inhale, slowly, unaware that they were even holding a breath at all.

“Shall we go home?” Rui asks, hand outstretched and Mizuki nods.

Maybe An was right. Maybe it was like that.

Chapter Text

Mizuki sits in front of Mafuyu, stirring her iced coffee with the thin plastic straw. They’re in one of Mizuki’s favorite cafes, one Mafuyu hadn’t tried yet. They had been the only two in the call last night and on a whim Mizuki invited Mafuyu to come and hang out with them.

They had entirely been expecting a quick refusal, alongside an elaborate excuse of cram school and tutoring sessions, but to their surprise, she had agreed quite easily. So here they were, a day before Valentine's Day, Mizuki with their cup of coffee and plate of fries and Mafuyu’s plate with a single small waffle. If it was anyone else, they’d probably think this “date” has other meanings interlaced with their invitation, but Mizuki knows Mafuyu wouldn’t assume. It’s one of their favorite things about Mafuyu.

(And Mafuyu had improved a bit on having her own opinions, especially in food. At least, it seemed to be the case to Mizuki. She had stopped copying their orders and instead ordered something she had seemed to enjoy more than others. It was a start at least. Mizuki was just glad that Mafuyu had seemed to be less of a blank slate to them.)

Mizuki watches for a moment before speaking, “Mafuyu, you can’t just pick at your food! Eat it!”

Mafuyu tilts her head. “What about you, Mizuki? You’ve hardly touched yours either.”

“Aw, come on, I’ve eaten some fries at least. You haven’t even nibbled at your waffle!”

“I don’t have an appetite. I apologize.”

“Ahh, whatever.”

There’s a brief silence as they continue eating their food. At least, it’s sort of considered eating if they’re both picking at it, their utensils moving about the plate but being nowhere near their mouths. Mafuyu glances at them, her face betraying no emotion.

“Do you have something on your mind, Mizuki?”

“What me? No, what makes you say that?”

“You’re picking at your fries and you have a strange look on your face.” Mafuyu says, tone unchanging, like she’s stating facts. Which she is. Mizuki normally doesn’t pick at their food, more of the type to eat quickly and finish first. They weren’t aware of the expression on their face though.

“Ah. I can never hide anything from you huh.” Mizuki sighs.

“Were you hiding it? It was quite obvious to me.”

“Okay, well you know me too well then.” Mizuki frowns, “Anyways, I guess I’m a little bothered about something.”

Mafuyu watches Mizuki, their statement not warranting any response. It’s hard talking to Mafuyu sometimes, especially when rhetorical comments have her confused and when something Mizuki says is begging for a response, Mafuyu doesn’t say anything. This was one of the times where Mizuki wanted just a little more encouragement to speak their mind.

“Ahh this is embarrassing, do I have to say it?” They whine, leaning back.

“I am merely asking, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t wish to do so.”

“No, it’s just I haven’t really said this to anyone else…”

A silence. Mizuki feels like Mafuyu’s gaze is staring them down heavily and they try to get the words out.

“Uhm, well. So…”

And it comes out like a rush.

“I really like Rui, you know the guy I’ve been friends with since middle school, and I think I should confess to him because Valentine’s tomorrow and it’s been three years already and it might be too late if I don’t do it now, but what if he doesn’t even like me like that and he’s just being nice and I’m reading too much into things?

“What if I get rejected? Our friendship down the drain just like that but I feel like he could possibly like me back? Unless I’m imagining things but I really don’t want to risk it and I can't handle it if we were to stop talking.” Mizuki groans, their breathing labored after the long confession that they aren’t even sure if Mafuyu has even heard. The embarrassment of even explaining was so bad that they couldn’t slow down with their ridiculous pace.

They take a small glance at Mafuyu, who looks deep in thought.

“I think you should tell him.” She says, speaking finally after a moment of silence. She adds on, “Afterall, it would be difficult for you if you didn’t tell him and kept on pretending like things were okay.”

Mizuki exhales, laying their head onto their arms. They’re half surprised that she could even make out what Mizuki was saying. “Yeah but I’m scared. I don’t want to ruin what we have,” they mumble.

“What if the outcome is better than what you have now?”

Mizuki peeks at Mafuyu, who sits perfectly still. Her back is straight, her posture so perfect because it’s been conditioned since she was little. She blinks at them and Mizuki doesn’t know how to respond.

“You will never know unless you take the chance, Mizuki.” Mafuyu adds, cutting a piece out of their waffle and stabbing it with their fork.

Mizuki runs over Mafuyu’s words at home, hearing them ring in their brain like an echo. She’s right, of course, because when is Mafuyu ever wrong, but Mizuki’s still scared.

That never ending fear is difficult to push past, let alone get rid of. Afterall, another kind of fear eats at them until they can’t get up from bed to go to school. But this one gnaws at them constantly, in the back of their head whenever they’re out with Rui.

Reciprocation. It feels impossible, tastes weird on their tongue because the mere thought of it isn’t real to them. It isn’t fathomable. Life has never been kind to them so why would it try to be this time?

But Mafuyu’s right. They don’t know so that’s why they should take the chance. It’s why Mafuyu tries new things despite not knowing what they could be like. If Mafuyu could be brave, then Mizuki could do the same.

Right?

(Well, Mizuki isn’t Mafuyu. They will never be. They’re on opposite sides of the spectrum and yet Mizuki finds that they’re still one of the only people who truly gets what Mafuyu says. That they could talk to each other about anything, feelings and all, and still understand each other. So maybe, despite not being as strong as her, Mizuki can be brave too.)

They sigh, throwing their arm over their eyes. Tomorrow they would wake up early, make chocolates and then give it to Rui when they inevitably go to school late. It would be easy, and Mizuki would take whatever response he gives because Rui is Rui and they could never blame him for being himself. For not liking them back. If he doesn’t.

(It wasn’t good that they were already preparing for rejection. Perhaps it was from the underlying insecurity, or the only reasonable part left in their brain.)

Mizuki walks down the hall, searching for the familiar blob of purple hair and smiles when they spot it. Holding the box of chocolates feels surreal, the idea that they even got up to actually make them still unbelievable, and holding it physically in their hands makes them feel sick.

They bear it. They had already gotten this far.

The sight of Rui sends their heart racing, faster than it had already been beating. It feels scary, how strongly they feel. Mizuki almost runs straight for him before skidding to a stop and hiding behind the side of the wall instead.

There he was, missing his blue school jacket as always but his usual grey cardigan was gone, wearing only a white button up shirt and his tie. He looks good like this, his hair messy and rustled, his shirt half tucked into his pants, and the absence of that grandpa cardigan did him many favors. He looked nice (but he always did).

They supposed that was why Rui was standing with an unfamiliar underclassman, someone in Mizuki’s grade, as they were nervously fidgeting with their hands.

“Kamishiro-senpai! Here.” The girl says in front of him, handing over a white box with a red ribbon of what Mizuki presumes to be chocolates. Mizuki frowns at the colors. (Because Rui likes purple. He likes purple and white and pink and red is his least favorite color of all. Mizuki knows this, been there when he declared it with a false smile. Mizuki knows him. The underclassman does not.) He stands there a bit confused but accepts it with one hand.

“Ah, thank you.” He replies gently, giving a slight bow with his head.

Mizuki doesn’t know why they’re hiding behind this wall, looking suspicious and weirder to an outsider than they already are. Perhaps it was too personal for them to go up now, too awkward to get between him and that classmate. Perhaps they were too embarrassed to ruin it for her. Or they were too scared for Rui’s reaction.

How he would react to someone else confessing to him. Because really, what else would it be? Chocolates on Valentine’s Day? They were far too expensive to be obligatory chocolates and she seemed far too nervous for it to be just that.

So yeah. Rui’s getting confessed to by someone who wasn’t them and they were absolutely terrified to see his reaction. Middle school Rui would’ve never imagined this: him finally being confessed to instead of excluded and treated like a weirdo. Him finally being a part of something and helping the school in a variety of (non-rule-abiding) ways.

He was always meant to be surrounded by people who loved him. Perhaps that’s why he was sort of accepted first before Mizuki. (And was it a bad thing? To want to be around him too?)

Mizuki wants so desperately, so selfishly, for him to turn her down. Should they be allowed to feel this way? Even when coming to terms with the fact that they probably like Rui in a more than friends way and actually deciding to do something about it, they were conflicted with whether or not they could allow themselves to want him for themselves. To selfishly want, and want.

“I just wanted to say…” the girl continues, looking down at their shoes, “I really like you and would like for you to be my boyfriend.”

Mizuki’s heart drops. They hide behind the wall fully, their back leaning on it out of fear that they might lose the strength in their legs to stand up. They can’t even watch Rui’s expression, how he might look or react to the words. If he’s smiling or if he’s just as nervous as she is, playing with that piercing that he has. What if there’s no words at all, and Rui’s just hugging them because he accepts their confession? He is a physical touch kind of guy.

They’re scared to look. But they do. No more fear, right?

And Rui’s standing there still, hand to his neck as he looks everywhere but at that girl. He sighs for a moment and slips his hand into his pocket, his other hand still holding onto the box of chocolates. “I’m sorry.”

The girl’s head drops and Mizuki wonders if that is how they’re going to look too. If that’s what he’d say to them.

“I already like someone else.” Rui says.

Oh.

For a moment Mizuki feels pure relief. Rui has someone else he likes. He can’t reciprocate feelings for this girl and thus he won’t go out with her.

Then the weight of his words fully hits them and they realize fuck he likes someone and that someone doesn’t have to be them.

And if Mizuki were to say anything now, they would already know his answer.

Take the chance, Mafuyu says. Mizuki exhales slowly.

Rui sits at the rooftop, back towards Mizuki as they open the door. The wind blows past their face, refreshing, and alongside it comes deja vu.

“Rui?” Mizuki calls, and he turns, smiling. Behind their back is that box of chocolates, the one in pink and purple wrapping that they had spent so long trying to find this morning. (That perfect shade was difficult, afterall.)

“Mizuki.” He answers. Soft. Familiar. Warm. “Hey.”

“Hi yourself.”

There’s an air of awkwardness that isn’t familiar between the two of them. They think it’s because he can tell how tense their body is, how they stand stiffly next to the door instead of sitting beside him like usual.

“Saw you get confessed to earlier.” Mizuki starts in a lighthearted tone that they do not feel. It’s easier to tease than to face their anxiety directly. They guess they got that from him. “How does it feel to be popular now?”

Rui laughs, dropping his head. “What are you talking about, Mizuki. I’m not popular at all.”

“Uh huh. And that’s why you had someone professing their undying love to you?” Mizuki teases, walking up to sit beside him, box hidden behind their back. It hurts a little, poking fun at the idea that Rui isn’t only for them. That he could be with someone else.

“How much did you even overhear?” Rui chuckles. His tone sounds casual enough but there’s a hint of nervousness that Mizuki can hear in it.

All of it. Your response included.

“Just a bit.” They reply. A small silence falls upon them as Mizuki nervously shifts the box of chocolates to their side. They don’t know when to give it to him, if they should at all.

They clench their fist in their lap, the small action drawing his attention.

“Is something the matter?” Rui asks, his smile smoothing out on his face until a look of concern is etched onto it. Guilt rushes into their gut and Mizuki shakes their head.

“No. Just thinking.” Mizuki drops their gaze from him. The way he’s watching them feels like he’s searching for something in their face and it makes them nervous.

“About what?”

“...The future. Us.” It’s vague, but it’s not a lie. Mizuki doesn’t want to lie.

“Us.” He repeats back. For a moment Mizuki thinks he won’t say anything else. That they’ll move on and they can’t even manage to get an opportunity to confess to him. Won’t be able to take the chance.

“What about us?” He asks softly, eyes still trained on their expressions. Mizuki’s heart pounds louder. They wonder if he could hear it if he listened hard enough. They think they can.

The air is cool around them, clouds moving slowly but visibly above. The courtyard beneath is bustling with sound as students play around during their break. And yet the rooftop remains quiet, simple and lonely. Away from all the noise.

It’s comforting. Familiar. That cool quiet silence and the sound of Rui’s light breathing beside them is comforting. The feeling of being free, being closer to the sky than the earth.

The words stick to their throat. They want to confess too. Not hold back and just tell him how they feel.

What’s stopping them?

Me, Mizuki thinks.

So they do what Rui does best and avoids his question, grabbing the box on their right and holding it in their lap. In the corner of their eye, Rui’s head glances at it before looking back at them.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Rui.” Mizuki says, tone casual when they feel anything but. They hand it towards him, shaking just a bit, and he takes it with surprise. His hands run over the wrapping paper, gentle.

Mizuki thinks they’re going to die. Their heart’s pounding so fast and they haven’t even gotten a word out. They watch as he opens his mouth to speak and they hurriedly speak first before they lose their nerve.

“I know I’m probably being really selfish. For wanting you. And that this is probably really weird and awkward” Mizuki takes a breath. “It’s just, you’ve always been a constant in my life. That comforting presence that I knew was always going to be there for me. I see you and feel relief.

“And I’m scared of losing you because of these stupid feelings. I’m scared of feeling that lonely again, that ache of isolation, because without you I’ll always feel your absence.

“...This is so stupid because I really don’t know how to put this into words about how badly I just want to stay by your side. Nothing sounds right and I’ve been thinking about how to say this all night and now that I’m here it’s all just blank.

“But I guess I like you. A lot, Rui. I think I realized this way back when you first left, your first year of highschool and the first time I was alone again after months. I couldn’t stop remembering you. Thinking of you. Missing you.

“And I want to be selfish for once in my life, where I can be with you. If you’ll let me.”

Mizuki doesn’t want to look at him. Can’t look at him. The heat on their face is too warm and his silence is overwhelming and they want so badly to run away because holy fuck they said it and now Rui knows and he doesn’t want them like that and that’s why is he so quiet.

He’s quiet because he doesn’t feel the same and doesn’t want to hurt their feelings. That’s the conclusion they come to because they know Rui is too nice to reject them outright but he’s also too honest to lie to them and Mizuki just feels this overwhelming fear that they’ve ruined everything the two of them have been trying to build up again.

They blink, eyes dry because they can’t bear to cry right now. It’s easy to pretend. “Sorry. That was a lot. I’ll go,” Mizuki says, getting to their feet. Their heart aches inside their chest. He isn’t looking and it hurts.

They’re on their feet now and they’re about to turn to leave before Rui’s hand catches at their wrist. “Mizuki,” he calls, his voice soft, soft, soft and Mizuki wants to collapse into it. They freeze though, not wanting to pull their hand away.

“Can I at least reply before you run from me?” Rui says lightheartedly, laughing. The sound worms its way into their heart and wraps tightly around it. It’s not mean, just light. Even if he didn’t ask, they think they would’ve stayed with just the sound of their name alone. “Sit with me?”

Mizuki takes a breath and sits down, their wrist still in his hands. His thumb rubs circles softly into the skin almost aimlessly, like he doesn’t know he’s doing it. Or he does and he's trying to calm them. It’s soothing nonetheless and Mizuki would almost relax if it wasn’t for the looming feeling of rejection on the horizon.

They really want to leave.

They really want to stay.

Rui begins to speak and Mizuki tenses.

“Before I say anything else, let me just start with this: I like you too, Mizuki. I like you so much, so stop overthinking in that pretty little head of yours and hear me out.” Rui glances at them, nudging them with his shoulder with a smile.

Oh.

“To be honest I’m still in a state of disbelief so forgive me if I sound weird but I’ll try my best to answer you.” Rui says, looking down at his lap, where their hand is still being held gently by the wrist.

He’s not rejecting Mizuki.

“You aren’t being selfish. If you want me, you can have me. I think I was yours the moment I saw you again.”

He likes Mizuki back.

“And I’m still reeling that you’d let me want you. That I could like someone as good as you.” Rui sighs, his voice quiet.

He likes Mizuki back.

“...You saved my life, Mizuki. How could I not like you?” He adds, as if it was an afterthought that he didn’t mean to say aloud. It’s a rhetorical question, but Mizuki answers it nonetheless.

Because you deserve better.

But the relief floods their gut instantly. They feel light, like they’re dreaming. The idea that their feelings were reciprocated was so shockingly good that Mizuki feels the wetness at the corner of their eyes and the blurring of their vision.

They sniffle and Rui glances at them with concern, a hand immediately rising to cup their cheek.

“Hey, hey, why are you crying? I’m sorry.” He apologizes instantly, rubbing the tears gently. Everything about him is gentle and Mizuki holds back a sob at the thought. He’s so gentle, so nice to them consistently without fail and Mizuki doesn’t know if they deserve that.

“Ah.” Mizuki whispers, wiping at their own face. They hiccup, “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

“I’m sorry.” Rui repeats softly, still thumbing at their tears with a tenderness that makes them want to cry even more.

“It’s not you. I swear I’m happy,” Mizuki laughs, looking down. Their face is heated with embarrassment and they’re sure that the trail of tears down their cheek is not super pretty and god they embarrass themselves a lot, but they’re so incredibly relieved that Rui’s still here. “I’m so happy.”

Rui hums, his palm still warm against their face. The two of them stay like that for a while, quiet and comforting. Occasionally he swipes his thumb over their tear-stained cheek. His hand wanders and begins to pull strands of their hair back behind their ear and out of their face.

They feel vulnerable. Intimate. Everything about this feels beyond reality. Rui likes them back.

Mizuki won’t be alone. They took the chance and it paid off.

Eventually their tears end and Mizuki feels awkward with not knowing how to position their hands. They rest in their lap as Rui plays with their hair lightly, still gently checking up on them.

“Feeling better?” He asks and Mizuki nods, looking up at him. He looks warm under the sun, the light kissing his cheek as he watches them carefully. Mizuki flushes slightly when his eyes glance over them.

His hand reaches to cup their cheek again. Mizuki’s suddenly aware of how close they’re sitting together, heads almost bumping and legs touching. Their heart is pounding like it wants to break out of their chest and they think Rui can feel it in his fingertips.

“Rui—”

“Can I kiss you?” Rui blurts. (His eyes don’t widen in surprise, like it would if it was an impulse to ask. Rui’s not spontaneous, Mizuki remembers. He’s always simply waiting for the right time. Waiting to kiss them.)

Mizuki blinks. “Please.” They whisper, in case if it is spoken any louder it would break the tension in the air. Whispered because it was less embarrassing than begging. (Because damn it, they have been waiting for this moment for so long. Maybe even as long as him.)

And Rui leans in, his hair brushing against their face as his lips touch theirs lightly, testing. And then he pulls them closer, tilts their head upwards so they fit more perfectly against him, and his lips fully meet theirs and Mizuki feels warm, warm, warm and so fulfilled, this moment being everything they’ve been imagining for the past few months but better in every sense.

They can feel the warmth of his mouth, his hand on their skin, his breath on theirs and every sense on their body is filled with Rui, his hands, his face, his lips. Their own arms reach to thread fingers through his soft hair as their breaths melt against each other. Mizuki holds him close and he kisses them like he’s cherishing them. They feel their heart beat loud and they think Rui’s is the same.

And Mizuki feels so dizzy, their head so fuzzy and content and it’s overwhelming at the same time. Everything about him is soft and gentle, so careful and tender. The way he touches them, the way he kisses, the way he pulls away with a chaste kiss to their lips and leans his forehead onto theirs to catch a breath.

And he smiles, the corner of his mouth lifting as the two of them make eye contact and share a breathy laugh.

“I like you, Rui.” Mizuki says, words ringing truer than anything they’ve ever said.

“I like you, Mizuki.” Rui repeats, his eyes never leaving theirs. (And there’s no honorific, no —kun accompanying their name that he does with everyone else. It’s special, the way he says their name like it’s something to treasure. And for once, Mizuki believes every word he says.) “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

And he leans in again.