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1
“So, does that make us friends? As in, officially?”
“U-uh yeah. I – I mean right?”
“Right.”
Nancy looked away, missing the mirroring soft smile on Robin’s lips as she got lost in the feeling of having a friend. Another girl friend. The urge to giggle and scribble down this moment in her diary hit her all at once. Such a schoolgirl reaction but that’s how she felt. What did that mean? Normal friends didn’t feel like that right?
No, they did. They had to. She just hadn’t had one in so long it made her reminiscent.
Lost in thought she missed the tangle of branches in front of her. The top of her shoe caught on it making Nancy trip forward, the paper bag crinkling in her arms as she clutched it tightly to her chest.
A long arm snaked around her waist pulling her back onto two feet and into a solid presence. “Woah easy there Nance.” She said softly. Robin steadied her. Held her in a slightly awkward one-arm embrace until her hand retreated back in a flash. Nancy found herself missing the warmth of her body.
Turning around she hoped her face wasn’t red with how hot it felt. “Thank you.”
Robin nearly tripped over the same roots herself as she shuffled forward. “Don’t mention it. Just – yeah. Don’t uh –“she cleared her throat. “Eddie would have had a full-on freak out if you dropped his snacks.”
2
Horrible images flashed in her mind. Huge red gates spread across Hawkins. Her mom and Holly were devoured by them. Her friends falling. Barb. Barb called out for Nancy. Branding her as a murderer. The faces of everyone they couldn’t save from the Mind Flayer. The two men she killed.
Make it stop. Make it stop. She chanted over and over in her mind. Vecna’s manipulative words creep into her mind to replace some of the voices. How it would be all her fault when everyone died. When Vecna’s plan came true all because she was too weak, too helpless to do anything.
Tears pooled in the corner of her eyes when the images didn’t stop. Time felt endless. As if she’d be trapped in this torture for all eternity until she heard something. Faint. But there. Soothing compared to the torment rattling around in her mind.
Looking past Vecna she saw a blur of light until the sound grew and grew and with it, the light became larger and larger until it opened to the sight of Robin. Her mouth was moving and that’s when the sound hit her in full. She was signing at her.
“Once I had a love and it was a gas. Soon turned out had a heart of glass.” The lyrics washed over her in Robin’s sweet raspy voice. Vecna’s words faded to the background as her mind took hold of the lyrics. Latching on and pulling herself towards it. Closer and closer until –
With a start, her eyes snapped open, and her body fell down (up through the portal?) in a heap on something both soft and a bit boney. A muffled groan escaped from beneath her but soon hands were cupping her face pulling her focus onto what – rather who – she landed on.
“Nance – Nancy are you okay? God. Thank God. I was – we were so worried when you didn’t follow me up and shit Steve was yelling and fuck, I’m so glad I snooped in your room. Which - sorry by the way but fuck you’re okay.” And then she’s being taken up in a hug and Nancy buried her face in her neck. Breathing in Robin’s scent and centering herself.
Nancy could have stayed that way for a while. Robin’s comforting embrace. The frantic beating of her heart slowed into something more rhythmic and soothing. The moment was broken by Steve’s shouting. Snapping Nancy right out of her vulnerability and into her senses. “Robin! Robin is she good?”
“I’m right here, you don’t have to talk around me.” Nancy let out a small huff, pushing herself off the other girl to clamber to her shaky feet. She could feel her gaze burning into her face, searching for signs of something off. Nancy turned to meet her gaze briefly. Mouthing thank you and conveying she was alright. Not fine, she was shaken up anyone could see that, but she would be. Robin’s mouth parted to say something more when Steve broke the moment yet again falling through the gate and landing on a heap on top of Robin.
“FUCK! Dingus Jesus Christ, can’t you see I was still on the bed? Fuck’s sake.”
3
A flicker of doubt flashed in the back of Nancy’s mind as she watched Eddie, then Steve, launch themselves through the RV’s window. No. No. They were doing this. They were going to get supplies and put Vecna down before he could harm anyone in this town. Taking a breath her eyes closed for a moment only for them to open at the soft calling of her name by Robin.
“Nance, hey, here I can – “
The dirty blonde knelt beside the RV, hands locked together in a silent offer to help her up. A swooping feeling settled in Nancy’s chest at the sight of it. One she batted away the second it tried to take root and blossom.
“Oh thank Christ.” Erica pushed her way past the older teen, one foot placed on Robin’s makeshift foothold, a hand in her hair that got a lot of protest from the owner of said hair as she pulled herself up.
“Small-Clair watch the hair pulling and the face!” Robin hissed out quietly as her head ducked down to miss a flailing shoe. The other kids followed suit after Erica’s lead. Dustin went next (“Yeah fine okay, all use me as a cheap foot stool- DUDE THE FACE”), then Lucas leaned out the window to pull Max in after him leaving the older girls.
“As I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted, here you go Princess.” A wide grin broke across her freckled face, brows wiggling as she offered herself up.
Rolling her eyes fondly at the sight Nancy moved towards her. Careful to set her hands on her shoulder to brace herself as she put one foot in her hands and used Robin to push herself up into the window where Steve was waiting for her. Robin’s lanky form climbed in seconds after her, letting out a muffled sorry to Lucas as she brushed past him towards the front to join Steve, Eddie, and Erica who claimed the passenger seat.
There was a brief conversation, words Nancy half caught as she moved to the middle of the RV before Steve was shouting to hold on.
“DRIVE STEVE DRIVE!” Dustin shouted. Nancy couldn’t even react fast enough to reach out for anything when the vehicle lurched forwards, knocking her off her feet and pitching her towards the front. Body bracing her impact it tensed with the anticipation for the hard ground only to meet the soft, now somewhat familiar, body of Robin.
Her front collided hard with Robin’s side. They ended up in yet another tangle of limbs on the hard floor of the RV. One of Robin’s hands smushed between their bodies, Nancy’s knee digging (painfully she assumes) into Robin’s stomach. Nancy’s fall was broken thankfully with Robin’s body, but she could hear the other girl groaning softly as her head landed with an echoing thunk. A small shit hissed through her lips that was lost in the sea of shouts as Steve hit something in a sharp turn.
“Jeez. Twice in one day you’re using me as a landing pad Wheeler. Careful or I’ll have to charge for the third one.” Her eyes seemed a little dazed from the hit to her head, but her lips had a teasing smirk on them.
The look sent that fluttering feeling in her chest up to her cheeks until they colored red. “Sorry Robin, are you okay?” her body shifted closer without her meaning to, knee digging into Robin’s stomach painfully if the wince on the other’s face was anything to go by. “Sorry.” She breathed out quickly shifting so her knees were bracketing Robin’s hips. This close to the other Nancy could count the freckles across her cheeks if she wanted.
The urge to reach up and gently brush the pads of her fingers across them was strong. That odd feeling in her chest returned tenfold.
“Oh ha, yeah. Totally great. Peachy. Not every day you got a pretty gir-uh pretty good wack to the head on the floor of someone’s RV who don’t know and don’t know last time they cleaned the floor. Judging by the sticky spot on my shoulder I’m guessing never. Which gross. If I wasn’t burning these clothes before I sure am now.”
Robin’s rambling had warmth blossom in her chest. That feeling expanded until she found herself smiling down at the other girl. Everything faded to the background between the two of them. The chaos of Steve’s sporadic driving as he sped out of the trailer park, the sound of the kids yelling and Steve yelling back to shut up, all background noise as Nancy realized just how close they were. Robin seemed to clock in it around the same time as her face turned as red as Max’s hair and her rambling sped up.
Ignoring the way her own face felt like it was on fire she shook off the sudden nerves that crept up into her mind as she pushed herself up, severing the moment between them.
Brushing invisible dirt off her clothes she took a second to collect herself. To stop the pounding of her heart. Once done she held her hand out towards Robin. “Come on, we should find someplace to sit before Steve’s horrible driving flings us out the door.”
The awkwardness lingered between them the rest of the car ride to the supply store. Nancy replayed the moment in her head (ignoring Steve’s awkward rambling about having six kids after kicking Erica out of the front seat) while also trying to ignore the way it felt. She would have gotten fixated on it if it crept into her mind, but all fleeting thoughts left the moment they parked.
They had weapons to collect and a monster to defeat.
4
“Nancy! I have some boxes up in the attic, can you get them for me?”
“Sure Mom!”
The days following the defeat of Vecna were a whirlwind. Max was, for the most part, unharmed. One broken arm but she wore her cast like a proud scar, telling them El had been there in her mind. Which gave the rest of them hope that the others she was with were safe. That Mike was safe.
Eddie was okay too. In hiding in the RV they had stashed, or he held up at Steve’s house with everyone, namely Steve, playing nurse to his bites. But for the most part, everyone made it out okay.
The gates remained open still. Slowly expanding every day, causing earthquakes to terrorize the small town of Hawkins. Enough so some serious damage buildings, leaving people without home, food or water. Which was how the party found themselves at Nancy’s house as they volunteered to help gather all the boxes from the Wheeler’s, Sinclair’s, and Henderson’s houses. Piling Nancy and Steve’s car full of boxes.
“I’ll come help, you said boxes, as in plural right Mrs. Wheeler?” Robin’s voice cut in, shoving the box she was holding on top of the one Steve was holding before trailing after Nancy at Mrs. Wheeler’s confirmation.
The two climbed up the stairs and then up into the attic where a pile of four boxes stood. Labeled in Karen’s neat handwriting, blankets, toys, boy clothes, and girl’s clothes. “Damn, I see where you get your neat-freak tendencies from.” Robin quipped playfully.
“Oh hush.” She gave a light shove to Robin’s side to get her to stop smirking at her. “Did you see the state of Dustin and Steve’s stuff? They would have had a breakdown trying to untangle any of their stuff. I was just doing the shelter a favor by doing it for them.”
“Mhmm. Right right. Everything to do with that and nothing to do with how looking at their mess a second longer would have given you a brain bleed.”
“Yes. Exactly.”
Glad Robin was behind her Nancy hide a smile from the other girl. The fondness, that was the feeling she claimed this was when instances like these came about, she held towards the other girl wasn’t a problem. Not really. It just felt all-consuming at times. As if someone would catch these smiles on her lips and call her out for it. Because these feelings, the soft smiles she had, all felt like when she first started liking Steve. How she felt – no feels she reminds herself, for Jonathan.
Looking into the toy box Nancy let out a soft little ‘oh’. “Hm? What is it Nance? Something wrong?” Robin moved to her side as quickly as her long legs could get her. Body pressing up against Nancy’s as if Robin didn’t care about personal space, trying to investigate what was wrong.
“It’s Mr. Rabbit.”
Reaching for the toy bunny she took him into her hands, fingers brushing over his fur. The sight of him left a weird feeling in her. A fondness for her old toy who she held through nightmares as a child. Who she gave tea parties to but seeing him in the upside-down, that nagging feeling of something wrong, once she saw him sitting on her bed, had mixed feelings now. Childhood memories mixed with images of that awful place she never wanted to go back to again.
Robin remained oddly quiet by her side as she retreated into her mind until her voice broke her out of it. “He looks much better now that he isn’t covered in nasty goop and soot. Oh hey, he even has both his eyes!”
A laugh bubbled out of her mouth at the words, snapping Nancy back into the moment. Leave it to Robin to find ways to ground her. “I was seriously judging you hardcore on how you cared for your stuffed animals, Wheeler. You didn’t know it but I docked points off of you.”
Scoffing at her Nancy spun on her heels, mouth open with a retort when the boards under her feet creaked. The old wood of the attic gave way some causing Nancy to stumble forward in an attempt to catch herself. Wide blue eyes met hers as Robin reacted quickly for someone with the coordination of a newborn giraffe, catching Nancy around the waist and pulling her directly into her chest. One of Nancy’s hands found its way under the strap of Robin’s suspenders. Leaving them in a familiar position once more.
No words were spoken between the two as they stared at each other. Nancy did everything in her power to keep her eyes from wandering down to Robin’s lips. One of Robin’s hands moved. Crawling up her waist slowly until she took hold of her hand and continued to lift. What in the world was she doing? Nancy’s heart started to race only to have Mr. Rabbit’s face obscure her vision.
“Gonna need to apologize to this little guy Nance. You squished his perfectly round face.” A little pout formed on those (kissable) lips. That fondness came roaring back. Or maybe it never even left. Just simmering under Nancy’s skin until just now.
She gave a roll of her eyes at Robin’s antics but didn’t deny the request. She leaned forward to press a kiss to Mr. Rabbit’s head, the corner of her lips catching the tip of Robin’s finger totally by accident and lingered there. “Sorry Mr. Rabbit. Won’t happen again.” She whispered against his head.
Lifting her head up she caught Robin’s gaze whose eyes were impossible wide and dark. Staring at Nancy with a look she couldn’t quite place. Well, she could if she gave it a second thought. She’s seen that look on faces before. Jonathan’s, Steve’s. The implication of what it meant was something Nancy wasn’t ready for.
Putting space between them she gently pulled Mr. Rabbit out of Robin’s white-knuckled grip to place him back in the box. Hoisting it into her arms she spoke without meeting Robin’s gaze. “Come on, let’s bring these down before Eddie and Steve decide to rearrange and mess up my organization process.”
5
The sound of hurried angry footsteps crunched through the forest.
“Ugh, I hate boys. Why do they have to be so stupid!” Nancy fumed as she trudged forward. The woods around Hopper’s cabin were huge. No destination in mind as she stomped away in a rage after both Jonathan and Steve were grating on her nerves. Being weird or closed off or making things so awkward as they tried to clean up the cabin for the Byer’s-Hopper clan.
Robin stumbled after her in a hurry. Her long awkward legs were unable to keep up on the uneven terrain. “Yeah yeah uh, stupid with a capital S.” she agreed but Nancy didn’t hear her. Too busy venting out her frustrations.
“I thought Jonathan and I came to an understanding when we broke up. Hell, he brought it up first and we both agreed things just weren’t the same. But he’s being so closed off and refusing to talk to me about what’s going on. Every time we discuss game plans for closing the gate he always makes a point to stand as far away from me as possible. Or he’s giving me puppy dog eyes like he wants to talk to me yet refuses. It’s insufferable.” Nancy hardly notices Robin nearly face-planting in a rush to keep up with her.
“And Steve. God, Steve. Did you know Steve told me he wanted to have six kids with me while we were in the upside-down? Six kids Robin! I don’t want six kids, I don’t want to be a dutiful housewife like my mom. And I can’t deal with either of them being moping or – or giving me puppy dog eyes when I catch them staring. I just, ugh.”
Nancy came to an abrupt stop to cover her face with her hands. This was so stupid. Having boy troubles after everything that happened but she was just so tired of feeling stuck between the two one way or another. She needed time for herself. To breathe, to just be her own person.
The blonde let out a slow breath once she managed to step up beside her, Nancy now realizing she had led them through a near jog through the woods. “I’m sorry. I just needed space away from it all. It’s all just so stupid in the grand scheme of things.” It was just taking its toll. “And I know he’s your best friend but I needed to get this off my chest before I lost my mind.”
“Nance, no hey it’s okay. I get it. Well not really since I’ve never had a relationship but – six kids? That’s fucking excessive. He’s got six kids now!” she paused. “Seven now that Erica’s part of the group but God. Eight if we count Argyle.” Nancy couldn’t help but giggle at that. “Tell him he needs to carry them himself if he wants kids.” She shook her head with a huff. “Not that – not that I’m implying that you should tell him you want that life. I don’t want to tell you what to do. I’m sorry by the way. That I implied or nudged you towards Steve. I didn’t mean it in a controlling way you know?”
Robin’s rambling eased away a lot of Nancy’s lingering irritation. What she once thought was annoying in the early parts of their friendship she now adored. Nancy now found comfort in her nervous rambling. “I know.” She said softly to Robin. Reaching out she took her hand to give a gentle squeeze but didn’t let go as she normally did. Instead laced their fingers together as they walked at a more normal pace through the woods.
“Wait you’ve never had a relationship?” She asked curiously. Nancy had a theory as to why. There was a reason she claimed she and Steve were platonic with a capital P, why she and Vickie seemed to be getting so close. A theory she wouldn’t ask about. No. If she were correct then she wanted Robin to feel comfortable in approaching her first.
The hand in her own tightened at the question. “No. No not uh – no.”
“Why not?” just because she wouldn’t outright ask her didn’t mean she couldn’t nudge it along. “Don’t say it’s because no boys flock to you. You’re very beautiful Robin, that can’t be why.”
Nancy swore she heard an honest-to-God squeak escape Robin.
“Bea-beautiful? No no. That’s not – I mean I do – did think that maybe why but – boys aren’t interesting to me. I don’t like - they’re just not like my thing What? I mean not not my thing. Just that I haven’t found the one. Because boys are great. Pretty. UH! Pretty great.”
Taking pity on her before Robin exploded Nancy stroked her thumb along Robin’s knuckles. “It’s okay if they aren’t. Boys suck.” She said matter-of-factly. Okay so maybe not so much a nudge as a shove but Nancy needed to know. The information felt life-changing for some reason.
She heard nothing from her companion after that. Robin remained quiet for once after Nancy’s words. The shorter girl looked over at her in worry but before she could as if she had said something wrong a tremor ripped through the woods.
Grip tightening on their hands they each pulled the other towards them, colliding as the world shook around them knocking them both off their feet and sending them rolling down the forest floor. Long arms wrapped around Nancy’s body, her own grabbing fistfuls of Robin’s shirt and jacket to keep her close.
Once they reach the end of the incline and the earthquake stops the two settle, Robin being used as Nancy’s cushion once more in a familiar position. Much like the RV both of Nancy’s legs on either side of Robin’s hips, Robin had both arms around Nancy’s body. One cradled her head while the other clung to her back.
Nancy’s head was resting against Robin’s chest as the two took a second to catch their breath. New scraps and bruises formed on their bodies, the old not yet healed ones opening back up, but both hardly noticed. Unlike before when the two found them face to face like this Robin felt tense under her. Tenser than normal.
She didn’t ask. Not yet. Waiting until the after shook rolled through to peer up at Robin. Her body was rigid under her as her eyes stared up at the sky, unshed tears peeking at the corners. A rock felt like it was weighing on her lungs. “Oh Robin. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”
“Is it obvious?”
Nancy shifted some to better see the girl underneath her.
“That, that I.” her eyes flicked nervously down to Nancy before darting away.
“No.” She answered once it clicked. “No. I was curious as to why you kept insisting you and Steven weren’t dating so I was watching you. Take note to see if maybe you both were lying because if you were I was going to chew him out for confessing what he did to me. But then I saw you with – well, I saw how you acted.”
More silence lingered between them before Robin let out a breath. “I like girls. I – I like girls and only girls. I’m a lesbian.” She whispered out. Whether it was to Nancy or Robin was telling herself she didn’t know. But that didn’t matter. What mattered was showing Robin she cared for her still, while ignoring the way that word made her feel, by drawing her into another embrace. Holding on impossibly tight to her.
“That’s okay. Thank you for telling me. I’m sorry I pushed.” She murmured into her neck.
“S’okay. I wanted to tell you for a while now I just didn’t know how to do it without rambling like I normally do.” She squeezed Nancy close to her before letting out a slow breath. “You know, when we fell in the RV before you got up I nearly blurted it out then and there.”
Rolling onto her side so they were pressed shoulder to shoulder and hip to hip, she took Robin’s hand once more and let out a curious hum. “Oh really?”
“Yeah just – it was really overwhelming and you’re – uh you’re really pretty you know? Not that I’d ever objectify you or anything! Or ask if you want to have my six babies. Which is scientifically impossible just – yeah.” She finished lamely.
Biting the inside of her cheek Nancy turned her head to stare at Robin. The blonde continued to stare up at the sky, hand trembling in hers. Still so nervous even though Nancy wasn’t running away and calling her a freak. The leaves under her head shifted as her head came to rest against Robin’s shoulder. She had the urge to say she wouldn’t mind having Robin’s six babies. Where that thought came from, she didn’t know, instead, she said, “Sorry, by the way, I keep falling on you. You’d think with how clumsy you can be it’d be the other way around. But thank you for always catching me. Even if you’re all boney.”
Robin let out a gasp that was so offended Nancy couldn’t help but laugh. “That is the worst thing anyone has ever said to me.” She shimmied away from her leaving her cheek pressed up against some twigs. “Hey!” Nancy protested. “No! Rude people don’t get the privilege of using me as any sort of cushion.”
Laughing again all worries about stupid boys and all the confusing unnamed feelings she felt towards Robin washed away as the two continued to play fight, hands still clasped in the other, both refusing to be the first to let go.
+1
The earthquakes in town still happened but not as badly. Most of the gates were closed that Vecna had opened but things from the upside down managed to leak through. El was giving it her all but she was only one person in all of those. Even with the help of the government things weren’t completely back to normal but Eddie’s name was finally cleared, and they were helping in keeping the town safe from these new bats that managed to take a ‘dip’ in the remaining chemicals left in Hawkins Lab.
The party could now hang out together like normal teens. Mostly. A shelter was still in place that most volunteered at, Hopper’s cabin was restored and El could hang out if she used a disguise unless they traveled outside of town, but it was better than nothing. School resumed two weeks after spring break and the older teens should be using the time to study for finals but instead, they found themselves outside of Hawkins at a lake where Steve’s Uncle owned a waterfront cabin.
The younger kids were enjoying themselves in the water, Eddie and Steve were playing chicken with Lucas and Dustin on their shoulders, Jonathan and Argyle were off to the side chatting and smoking and Robin was –
Nancy looked for her under the protection of her sunglasses. She caught sight of her crouching down beside Erica and El, talking animatedly about seashells and something clicked for Nancy at that moment watching her.
All the moments between them before this flashed through her mind. Time in the upside down, nights spent in Nancy’s bed cuddled together fighting off nightmares, movie nights at Steve’s were they shared the love seat. Just everything flashed until she focused on the way her delighted grin lit up her face, her freckles more prominent in the sunny sky, how all that skin she had on display had Nancy’s face feeling hot, and she realized.
“I’m falling for Robin Buckley.” She whispered to herself.
The words had that feeling the second time she fell on her burst through her chest and take root in every cell in her body until her mind, her soul, chanted Robin’s name.
The realization had Nancy dropping onto her back to pretend she was sunbathing, as she told everyone she was doing, panic gripping her. What did she do about that? Her father would lose his mind. Her mother? She didn’t know. Her friends might be okay with it? Steve would. He accepted Robin no problem but Jonathan? Dustin? Mike? Oh god, Mike. Would this tear them apart? And Robin she had Vickie didn’t she? Just because she liked girls didn’t mean she liked Nancy. And Nancy liked boys. That didn’t mean she was a lesbian right? But she liked Robin too. Oh god.
All of it was too much. Too much. She needed –
“Nance!”
An excited shout from Robin had Nancy lifting back onto her elbows to look up at the girl who appeared by her side like she knew she was thinking of her. “I got these for you.” She had a small collection of two rocks and a shell in her hand. “These two reminded me of your eyes.” The two were a soft amber color that had streaks of orange in it. “And this one is because it’s pretty.” Like you went unsaid but she caught the meaning. The shell in question was orange. All different colors fade into each other like a sunset.
All the panic and worry in her chest over her sudden realization fizzled away until the fondness for Robin took hold again. The affection, adoration, the attraction all made her worries slowly melt away until she was smiling up at her.
“They’re beautiful Robin. Thank you.” Taking them she placed them carefully on her towel. “How about we go look for some as blue as your eyes hm? So we can have matching ones.” She smiled. The smile that lit up Robin’s face was one she wanted to capture with one of Jonathan’s cameras.
“Hell yeah, well come on. I bet Erica and El twenty bucks I’d find prettier shells than them and with your expert help I know I can beat them.”
Nancy laughed as she was pulled to her feet.
She had a lot to sort out, but until then she would keep Robin right by her side just like this. Basking in their closeness and the warm fuzzy feelings she brought on until she could express these feelings without ruining what they had.