Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Lucy Collins did not know who had taken care of her when she was small. Who had fed her bottles, changed her diapers, comforted where when she cried in the middle of the night. She supposed it might have been her mother, though she had no memory of the woman. It certainly hadn’t been her father; it was only once in a blue moon he remembered her name, let alone anything else to do with her.

In the end though, it didn’t matter. She had to take care of herself now. She had to watch her spending when she got food or clothes for herself as her father would notice if too much money was missing. Most days he didn’t remember he had a daughter, he just saw someone who could grab a beer from the fridge so he didn’t have to get up from his spot of his favorite recliner.

Lucy supposed she shouldn’t complain. Her father payed the bills for their small apartment, and she had a room to herself, even if her bed was just a mattress she’d put a pillow, blanket and fitted sheet on. The rest of her room consisted of two large plastic containers that held her clothes, a small collection of stuffed animals guarding the foot of her bed, and a full-length mirror propped up against the wall. There was a small closet in one corner that held her winter coat and the one nice dress she owned. There was a loose floorboard in the back where she hid an emergency stash; things like extra money, water bottles, and a few granola bars should the need arise.

It was a very sad thing indeed that the six-year-old girl was so used to this life.

She knew nothing else however, so she had just accepted that this was how the world worked. And it wasn’t just home either. At school, she sat in the back and the teacher never called on her. During recess, other kids ran by her without a second thought. At lunch, she sat alone at a table by herself.

Lucy Collins was invisible, and she knew it well.

What she did not know, was that there was someone who saw her.

“….Hi.”

Lucy startled at the small, barely there voice. Had she not been so used to the silence, she wouldn’t have heard it at all. She turned in her seat at her lunch table, frowning at the meek looking boy before her. As the world failed to notice her, she didn’t pay much attention to it, so the fact that she did not recognize this boy was a given. He looked as though he wanted to be invisible himself however, as though he wanted the ground to swallow him up.

Oh, right. She was supposed to respond. “Hello.” She said, her voice scratchy from lack of use.

“I-Is thith theat taken?” he asked shyly.

“All yours…” she nodded to the seat next to her. The boy set his tray down quick as lighting, as though if he lingered she’d change her mind.

Lucy studied the boy now sitting next to her. He seemed about her age; a round face perfectly framed by a shaggy bowl cut. She was pretty sure his eyes were blue, but he was avoiding looking at her so much she couldn’t be certain.

What really caught her attention was how put together he seemed to be. Six-year-olds were messy by nature, often having unknown stains on their clothes, or smudges, ink or paint on their face and hands. Her new companion had none of these things however. His clothes were perfectly straight, not a wrinkle in sight, his hands seemed red as though he’d scrubbed them obsessively, and even the array of cafeteria food on his tray was utterly perfect; spaced out in even squares and rectangles, not a single pea out of place.

“My name’s Lucy.” She finally spoke up, making the boy jump slightly. She couldn’t help but smirk a little at the quid pro quo. “Lucy Collins.”

“…..K-Kevin.” The boy informed. “Kevin Crumb.”

The two finished their lunch in silence, and then it was back to class as though nothing had ever happened. Lucy found she couldn’t forget Kevin that easily however. How could she? He was the first person that had approached her and spoken to her like it was an everyday occurrence since…well, ever actually.

Kevin Crumb was in her class, as luck would have it. Only half paying attention to the teacher’s lesson, Lucy studied him from across the room. Like her, he kept quiet and was never called on. He seemed content at his desk however, as though he had just come up from being underwater for a very long time. He continued to eat lunch with her, but he never spoke. Outside of the cafeteria, they both went back to barely existing.

In a burst of boldness, or perhaps desperation, Lucy decided to put an end to that.

She walked up to the boy, who was sitting on a yellow handkerchief on the bench by the playground during recess. “You want to play hopscotch?”

Kevin blinked at her, as stunned as he had been the first time that she was speaking to him. “T-Thorry?” he stuttered, his lisp distorting the ‘s.’ It seemed to be the only thing about him that wasn’t immaculate.

“Do you want to play hopscotch?” Lucy said again. “With me.”

His eyes darted over to the set of squares painted on the concrete. “I-I dunno how….”

“I’ll teach you. Come on.” She held out her hand for his.

Staring at her with a look she couldn’t quite identify, Kevin slowly relaxed and took her hand, allowing her to pull him towards the hopscotch board.

“So what you gotta do is throw a rock –” Lucy scooped one up from the pavement. “and throw it onto a square.” She tossed it lightly, landing on the number eight. “And whatever number it lands on, you gotta jump there to pick it up.” She demonstrated, holding her arms out when she had to stand on one leg. “Then you jump back to the start.” She met Kevin back at the first square and held out the rock to him. “You try.”

Kevin gave the stone in her hand a reproachful look. “It’s dirty.”

“Of course it is, it’s a rock.” Lucy frowned.

He shook his head and stepped back. “It’s dirty.” He repeated. Lucy may have been imagining things, but she was certain his voice had gotten deeper. It had a sort of accent to it that it usually didn’t. She would have brought this up, but Kevin was beginning to twitch, and he looked as though he may break down.

“Here.” Lucy threw the stone again, landing on the seven this time. She darted back to the bench where he’d left his handkerchief, ran back, and held it out to him. Kevin gave her an odd look, brows furrowing together. “This way you won’t have to touch it, but you can still play.”

Cautiously, as though she was holding a loaded bomb, Kevin took the handkerchief from her. He ran it through his fingers a moment, looking up to give Lucy another one of those looks. Lucy wasn’t sure what that look meant, but it made her feel special; it made her feel seen.

Kevin carefully followed the path of the hopscotch squares, balancing on the seven while bending down to pick up the rock. His balance was surprisingly good. In fact, it looked as though he was holding himself higher as well – no, perhaps stiffer was a better word.

Deciding not to give it too much thought, Lucy took the stone from Kevin when he hopped back to her, throwing it once more to take her turn.

******

The trend continued from there; Lucy and Kevin would eat lunch together and play together at recess. In between those things, they found themselves talking to each other more and more every day. By the end of the month, you could even call them friends.

Life had taught the children to be quiet and reclusive, but they found themselves comfortable around one another. When they were together, the rest of the world didn’t exist. Sure, Lucy thought her friend was odd sometimes, but she blamed that on her own lack of social interactions. She thought most people were odd.

Still…there were times when Kevin’s eyes seemed to change and Lucy swore she was talking to a different person. The idea was silly however; a body couldn’t hold more than one person could it?

Chapter Text

While her understanding of social etiquette was slim, Lucy liked to think she was good at picking up signals. She could tell when someone was annoyed with her mere existence, she could tell when the smile Kevin gave her was real and when it wasn’t. Something she picked up on was that while her friend was always picture perfect, he only seemed to worry about the untidiness of the rest of the world on occasion.

She had started carrying extra clothes in her backpack. Sometimes Kevin would get overly anxious about a stain or a crumb on her shirt, and she change to make him feel better. Other times however, he was the one making the stains; flicking her with paint during art class and starting an all-out war they’d gotten a stern reprimanding for.

All of this didn’t bother her of course, she was just happy to have a friend. Someone who not only noticed that she was there but actively sought her out. Someone who’d rather spend time with her than do anything else in the world. She certainly wasn’t about to start complaining. Still, these behaviors peaked her curiosity, and one day she found the courage to voice her thoughts.

“Hey Kev?” she asked, swinging her legs on the bench they’d settled on during their walk in the park. Lucy knew little about Kevin’s family, but it seemed they wouldn’t notice him missing any more than her dad would notice her missing. It was a sad thought, but it allowed them to spend time together outside of school.

“Yeah?” the boy looked over at her.

“How come you act so backwards sometimes?”

“Whatdaya mean?” he frowned, eyebrows drawing together.

“I mean that sometimes you’re shy and sometimes you’re tough like the big kids. Sometimes you freak out when there’s a stain on my shirt and sometimes you couldn’t care less.”

Kevin’s eyes dropped down to his feet, and Lucy saw him tense. “It’s nothing….”

“Doesn’t seem like nothing.” Lucy said, noticing the change in her friend’s behavior. She had learned early on that there were things he didn’t like talking about; if she asked the wrong question or brought up the wrong topic, he shut down. Closed in on himself despite how much he had opened up around her.

“I don’t wanna talk about it okay?!” he snapped, something he never did. Lucy saw his eyes shift again, and he sat up straighter, looking stoneier.

“Okay.” Lucy shrugged, making the stern expression she’d been receiving drop.

“Okay?” he asked in that deeper voice.

“Yeah.” She nodded. “I was just curious, but if you don’t wanna talk about it, we don’t have to.” She shrugged. “Just….” She bit her lip slightly and sighed. “Y-You know that you can trust me, right? And you can always talk to me if something’s wrong, you can always come to me, for anything.”

The steely look on his face faded and her sweet, shy friend was back. “…..You thwear you’ll never tell?” he asked in a voice that was barely a whisper.

“Pinky promise.” Lucy said, holding out her little finger to him.

He smiled slightly, linking his pinkie with her’s. “Okay…” when their hands dropped, he sighed and looked extremely nervous.

“I-….I’ve got this, other person, in my head. He’s older, and thtronger. He protects me.”

“Protects you from what?” Kevin’s eyes went glassy and he pulled his knees up into his chest. “Kev, hey, look at me.” Lucy placed a worried hand on her friend’s shoulder. “It’s okay. It’s all okay.” She wrapped her arms around him and after a few moments he relaxed into her embrace.

“Thanks Lu…..” he said in a small voice.

“Anytime. Look, like I said if you don’t wanna talk about it –”

“No.” he sniffed, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “You deserve to know. My mom, thhe uh….thhe’s not nice….” Lucy got the message immediately, reaching out to take Kevin’s hand in her’s. This seemed to help, as he took a deep breath and continued. “Dennis, he takes the hurt. So I don’t have to. He protects me.”

“Dennis?” Lucy asked. “Is that his name.”

“Mm.” Kevin nodded. “….He likes you. He thays you’re thpecial.”

She smiled. “Well tell him I said thank you. And I’m glad I have his approval.”

“Y-You’re not gonna leave?” he frowned.

“Why would I? Now I’ve got two friends.”

******

Lucy adapted surprisingly well to Dennis. Granted, she spent most of her time with Kevin, but whenever something made him afraid or upset, Dennis would come out. Lucy quickly realized that he was much older than the body he inhabited; she’d put him in his thirties at least. As such, he didn’t care for the games she and Kevin usually played, but he was happy to spend time talking to her, or even just sitting by her peacefully on a blanket they’d spread in the grass. Lucy liked Dennis, and it fascinated her to no end how different he was from Kevin. She had done some research on the school computer, but in the end the details of it didn’t really matter. She was happy just to exist with both her new friend and her old one.

Time passed, both children turned seven. They lived in a world where they were the only two – well, three really – that existed. Very little else ever crossed their minds. They did however, have to go to their respective homes when the sun began to set, and that was where the dream shattered.

Both Lucy and Kevin spoke very little about their home lives. The topic was avoided because they both knew whoever brought it up would have to share in return.

Lucy came back to her apartment well after school had ended, only to duck down and let out a startled screech as her father threw a beer bottle at the door the second it shut.

“It’s all gone!” he shouted.

“W-What is?”

“Everything! Every drop of booze in this apartment has suddenly disappeared!” he suddenly trapped his daughter against the wall. “What the hell have I told you about taking my shit?!”

“W-wa? Papa, I-I don’t –”

“Don’t lie to me!” he banged on the wall next to Lucy’s head, making her jump and cower into the cheap plaster. “You’ve been out there every day, drinkin’ and partyin’ like a dumb whore! Just like your mother!”

“My mother?” he had never mentioned her mother before.

“I won’t have it!” he yanked hard on her arm.

“Papa you’re hurting me!” Lucy cried, stumbling to keep up with his broad steps as he pulled her along.

“Good! Maybe it’ll teach you not to swipe my booze!” he pulled her into her room and violently yanked open the closet door. He shoved Lucy into it and stuck a chair under the handles.

“Papa!” Lucy shouted, her little fists banging on the door.

“You’ll stay in there until you learn!” she heard his footsteps retreat.

“Papa!” Lucy continued to bang on the door, trying to get it to open, but to no avail. “Papa! Papa….” She whimpered and slid down the back wall. Other than the small line of light under the door she couldn’t see a thing. There was a draft coming from somewhere, and the walls seemed far tighter than usual.

Lucy pulled her knees into her chest. What she was supposed to be learning, she had no idea. She certainly hadn’t taken her father’s drinks, she was usually the one who kept them stocked. Spending time with Kevin and Dennis had made her sloppy; she didn’t keep track of things as well as she used too.

Lucy reached up blindly until her fingers wrapped around her winter coat. She tugged it off its hanger and draped it over her shoulder in an attempt to block out the draft. She was extremely grateful she kept her emergency stash in the closet, as this was definitely an emergency.

The line of light under the door was her only sign of time passing. It went away at night and came back during the day. By her current count, Lucy had been in the closet for four days.

As the fifth day drew to a close she watched the line disappear, curled up under her winter coat. Her emergency stash wasn’t that big, and Lucy wasn’t sure how long she could last in here.

A sound from outside startled her, making her jump up into a sitting position. She heard footsteps and faintly saw the closet door shift. There was the sound of something being dragged away, and then the silence returned.

Cautiously, Lucy raised a shakey hand to push on the door. To her immense relief, it opened allowing the moonlight coming through her bedroom window to pour in.

She nearly jumped for joy, crawling out of the closet and stretching her stiff limbs. She shook the pins and needles away and ran for her bedroom door, stopping when she heard laughter.

Peering into the living room/kitchen, she saw her father sitting around the table with a handful of men who looked eerily similar to him. From the looks of it, they were playing poker.

Lucy instantly deflated. She hadn’t been let out on purpose, someone had just come looking for an extra chair and had taken the one keeping her in. She rubbed angrily at her eyes, turning around and grabbing her school bag, which had been locked up with her all this time. Shifting things around, she shoved what clothes she could into it, along with the money from her emergency stash. She grabbed her pillow, hung her blanket over her shoulders, and made for the window. Pushing it open, Lucy took a second to lean out into the fresh air.

She shut her eyes, breathing deeply. The evening air was cool, and crisp. Somehow this cold was far better than the draft in the closet. Balancing herself on the window sill, she climbed out onto the fire escape. She glanced back into her room only once, a mix of feelings she couldn’t name making her chest feel tight and bring a fresh wave of tears to her eyes.

Turning away, she climbed up the floors of the apartment building until she reached the roof. Dropping her bag on the concert, she laid her blanket and pillow down and collapsed onto it. The night was reasonably clear, and Lucy couldn’t believe how many stars there were. She could hear cars passing below, and birds having conversations on electrical wires.

She shut her eyes and let the openness envelope her. And for now, everything was alright.

******

Lucy awoke to the chirping of birds and the light of the sun. She didn’t know what time it was, nor did she care. She laid under her blanket and watched the clouds drift across the sky until her stomach grumbled, wanting breakfast.

After changing her shirt and pushing her hair back with a headband, she paused and looked to her blanket and pillow. She really ought to take them back to her room, but just the thought of going back made her feel sick. She skimmed over the expanse of the roof and spotted a tarp someone had left there. Tugging it towards the corner she had slept in, she draped it over her things before slinging her backpack over her shoulder and heading down the fire escape.

When she got to her window, her throat seemed to close and the outdoors suddenly didn’t feel very open. She pushed herself down to the lower level, stumbling when she reached the bottom and landing hard on the concrete.

She winced and looked to see that her hands had been scraped up. Not mention there was now dirt on the knees of her jeans. Dennis was going to be mad.

Dennis didn’t seem to notice her jeans when he spotted her eating breakfast at their table in the cafeteria however. Instead, he ran up to her looking extremely worried.

“Lucy where have you been?” he demanded, the deep voice assuring her it was him and not Kevin asking. “You haven’t come to thchool all week! We thought thomething horrible happened!”

“I’m fine Dennis….” Lucy muttered, keeping her eyes fixed on her tray.

“H-How are you fine, you don’t look fine.” His blue as skimmed over her, stopping on her arm. “Are those bruises?” he asked, reaching for her wrist which she quickly snatched away from him. “Lucy, tell me what’s wrong….”

“Papa got mad. Not like it’s a big deal.” She shrugged, shoving another hash brown into her mouth.

“If he hurt you –”

“It’s just the one bruise.” She cut him off. “He uh…he locked me in my bedroom closet. To teach me a lesson.” Her chest suddenly felt tight again.

“That’s where you’ve been all week?!” Dennis exclaimed.

“I’m fine.” Lucy said, though the crack in her voice didn’t even have her convinced.

“Lucy….” Dennis sighed. He sat down next to her and pulled her into his side. Lucy cried into his jacket, but he didn’t seem to mind the mess for once. “It’s okay. It’s all gonna be okay. You’ve got me to protect you.”

Dennis became extremely protective of Lucy after that. When some of the kids in their class were making fun of her, he pushed them into the mud. He even got into a few tussles now and then that had to be separated by teachers.

When the weather began to turn cold he finally won the argument regarding Lucy’s shelter. After what she had been through she was all too happy to keep sleeping on the roof under the open sky, but Dennis was a perpetual worrier. He snuck her into an abandoned apartment in Kevin’s building, which thanks to him was actually livable.

Lucy noticed however that the more Dennis took the ‘light’ as they had dubbed it, the more disoriented Kevin became. It seemed that when Dennis was in control he was tucked into the back corner of his own mind. He’d wake up in the morning with no clue what he’d been doing yesterday, and she’d had to sneak in through his window more than once to get him for school; if she spent the weekend with Dennis, Kevin wouldn’t realize it was Monday.

This of course, caused the boy a great deal of distress, but Lucy was there for him to lean on. She kept him up to date on school assignments, and she actually started paying attention in class so she could remember everything Kevin forgot. It was actually making her memory much sharper than usual, and her grades were even going up.

There were pitfalls. Without her father to skim money off of, Lucy had none. School supplied breakfast and lunch, but nothing else. Lucy had only packed a few outfits into her school bag, and they were beginning to show signs of wear. This was what lead to Kevin handing her a sandwich bag full of folded bills and stray coins one day while they were sitting in her apartment.

“What’s this for?” she frowned.

“You.” He said simply. “It’s all the money I’ve thwiped from my mom’s purthe over the years.”

“Kev, I can’t take this!” she went to hand it back to him but her hand was pushed away.

“Lucy, you’ve done tho much for me.” He said, his voice going a little soft. “Can’t I just do this one thing for you?”

Lucy wanted to refuse again, saying there was no way she could take his life savings. But then she saw his eyes; that look he always got when he was scared he’d said or done something wrong. The look he got when he was afraid to lose her.

“Fine.” She relented. “But I’m ordering pizza for dinner, and you’re staying to share it with me.”

Kevin instantly lit up. “Whatever you want.”

******

Lucy had never had an excess of money. Not to spend on herself anyways. The majority of her father’s earnings went to him; she was always careful to only skim off what she knew he wouldn’t miss.

The money Kevin had given her was by no means a fortune, but it still felt strange having money to spend on just herself. She still bought the simpler, cheaper things, hoping to stretch Kevin’s gift as far as she could. Something caught her eye in the craft section of a store however.

A long strand of black leather thread wrapped around a cardboard spool for only a dollar. A small assortment of attachable clasps hung just below it. An idea turned over in her head. Black was less likely to show dirt or stains, and the tag on the clasps said they were rust resistant.

She tossed both into the basket she held on the crook of her arm before continuing down the aisles. Her attention was caught once again by a small stand of jewelry in the girl’s clothing section.

Among the sea of sparkle and pink, a pair of necklaces were strung up on a cardboard tag. One read ‘Batman’ and the other ‘Robin.’ The two halves connected to make the bat symbol.

Kevin loved comic books. Most of the games they played consisted of them taking on various personas to fight imaginary crime. The boy had a small comic book collection that was his most prized possession; and Lucy was the only one allowed to touch them.

She tossed the necklaces into her basket and proceeded to the check out.

******

Kevin awoke Saturday morning to a knocking on his window. Frowning, he sat up to see Lucy outside on the fire escape.

‘Come on!’ she mouthed, waving him towards her.

Kevin couldn’t help but grin as he grabbed his slippers and coat before running to his bedroom window. Lucy pulled him through it the moment it was open, and they climbed the rusted metal to her own window.

“Surprise!” she exclaimed, throwing her arms out once they were in the apartment. Kevin paused, looking around the mostly empty room. Their blanket was set out on the floor with two parcels wrapped in newspaper, accompanied by a pair of cupcakes. Multiple sheets of notebook paper had been taped to the far wall to read out ‘Happy Birthday!’

“Y-You….” He turned to look at his friend. “You did all this for me…?” His birthday had never been celebrated before; mother said pride was a sin, and things like cake and presents were a waste of money.

“Course I did. You’re my best friend.” Lucy said simply. She stumbled backwards as Kevin suddenly threw his arms around her.

“T-Thank you….”

“You’re welcome.” She smiled, returning the embrace. “Now what should we do first?” she pulled back to look at him. “Cake or presents?”

Both sounded extremely tempting, but Kevin picked at random. “Prethents.”

“Excellent choice!” she pulled him down to their blanket and Kevin eagerly picked up the first pile of newsprint. His name was written on it in bright red marker.

Careful not to tear around the letters, he opened it to reveal a curved necklace with ‘Batman’ engraved into it.

“They’re matching, see?” Lucy pulled a similar necklace from under her shirt. Taking his hand, she held the two pieces together. “They make the bat signal.”

“You’re amazing…” were the only words Kevin could come up with. Lucy beamed at him. Pulling the necklace over his head, Kevin reached for the second package only to pause. The name written on it was not his.

Dennis’ steely eyes looked up to the girl in surprise. “…Y-You…”

“I wasn’t really sure if you had a birthday, so I just grouped it in with Kevin’s.” Lucy explained. “Open it!” she prompted. Dennis was far more delicate with the newspaper, and Lucy waited until the braided black leather bracelet fell out. “You like it?” her voice took a tone of nervousness. “I made it myself. I figured black wouldn’t show any dirt or –” she was once again thrown off by his arms around her. Lucy still smiled and returned the embrace.

This one lasted much longer than the one with Kevin. Dennis seemed to melt into Lucy’s arms, which made her heart swell. He was always so guarded; he was the protector after all. The thought that he was laying down his armor for her made Lucy feel very special.

When Dennis finally pulled away, he sniffed a little and wiped at his eyes. “You’re a thpecial kinda thomethin’, you know that?” Lucy smiled at him before she saw his eyes shift. Kevin was back.

He stared at her with something akin to awe as she stuck a candle into his cupcake, pulling a matchbook from her pocket to light it. “Make a wish.”

He looked between her and the flame. “…..I wish the world was just me, you, and Dennis.”

“Then it is.” Lucy nodded.

Kevin smiled at her, before closing his eyes and blowing out the candle.

Chapter Text

Despite having a very supportive friend in Lucy Collins, it was becoming apparent how quickly Kevin was beginning to deteriorate.

Games of running around her apartment as superheroes with blankets tied around their necks would end abruptly when Kevin would bang into the wall or table on accident and hit one of the marks his mother had left there. The fresher the mark, the more it hurt, and sometimes he’d collapse crying. Lucy would try to comfort him of course, but there wasn’t much she could do; he was absolutely not telling her about his mother. If Lucy found out that even the woman who gave birth to him thought he was one of God’s mistakes, then she might start to believe it just like everyone else did. He didn’t wanna loose her, she was his best friend.

He felt bad that he was becoming such a lousy playmate however. Their game never lasted long without him breaking down, and out in public he was finding himself staring a thousand yards away. He didn’t get why the world was so bad. It could produce people like Lucy, so how come everyone else he’d come across was so….not her?

Lucy awoke to a knocking on her window. That was odd, usually she was the one knocking. Sitting up groggily, she kicked her way out of her sleeping bag and rubbed her eyes. Kevin was crouched on the fire escape with a large grin.

He jumped into the apartment the instant the window was open. “Hiya!” he exclaimed cheerfully. “My name’s Hedwig! I have red thocks!”

Lucy blinked, half in morning daze, half in confusion. “Huh?”

“Kevin thaid you live down here.” His eyes skimmed the area. “It’s really empty, and it smells like old people. I got blue thocks too.” He said all of this very fast.

“….H-How, how old are you Hedwig?” Lucy frowned.

“Duh.” He rolled his eyes. “Nine, just like you silly. Kevin thaid you’d play with me. Will you play with me?”

Deciding to put aside her questions to ask Dennis later, Lucy forced a smile onto her face. “Sure. What do you wanna play?”

******

Hedwig was the exact opposite of Kevin. He was energetic, easily excitable, and couldn’t seem to stop talking for a minute. He was beginning to tire Lucy out, and she was pretty sure it was only noon.

When she mentioned lunch, Hedwig nearly jumped up and down, insisting they go get hotdogs. Lucy had no idea where they were supposed to get those from, and was absolutely certain that Kevin had told her once that he thought hotdogs were disgusting.

“Hedwig, can you give the light to Dennis for a minute?” she asked the nearly vibrating child. “Just so I can tell him we’re going out, see if he wants anything.”

“Okay!” it was amazing how his expression went from overly eager to Dennis’ signature stone.

“What exactly’s going on?”

“The kid showed up last night.” Dennis explained. “He’s like a walking ball of sugar.” Lucy rolled her eyes at that. “Kevin thought he’d be a good playmate for you; since he’s been kinda off lately.”

Her face dropped. “Well not that I don’t like Hedwig, but Kevin should never think he needs to be replaced. He’s my best friend.”

“He knows that. He just wants you to be happy.”

******

Lucy was beginning to notice she was seeing less and less of Kevin after that. Though she liked spending time with Dennis and Hedwig, she was worried over her friend retreating into his mind too much. She was also worried as to what could possibly be causing such a thing.

It was interesting though, to deal with two alters instead of one. While Lucy continued to age, Hedwig remained nine. He was very difficult to corral in school, and his overly innocent nature made him more of a target for bullies than Kevin had been. This often lead to him running crying into Lucy’s arms, and becoming Velcro to her side whenever he had the light.

Lucy was ten when bullies started to get a lot worse. Instead of mean tricks and cruel words, physical force was now in play, and while Dennis was incredibly strong, Hedwig wasn’t. It didn’t help that classes split them up occasionally. There was something about not being in the presence of Kevin or one of his alters that made Lucy retreat back into the girl she had been before she met them; shy, quiet, and often not paying attention to the world around her.

Which was probably why she didn’t know why the upperclassman holding her by her collar against the lockers was so mad at her.

Next thing Lucy knew, she was being shoved into her own locker, and the door was being shut, locking from the outside. Her chest instantly felt tight; this was a far smaller space than the closet. It was darker too.

‘You’ll stay in there until you learn!’

“Papa….” Lucy muttered. “No, Papa please. I promise I’ll be good…” she pushed against the metal door, but it remained firmly in place. “Papa…? Papa….” She whimpered before she finally broke, flailing and pounding against every side of the locker. “Lemme out! Lemme out, I’m scared! Papa, please! Papa!”

******

Hedwig had gone looking for Lucy after their last period when she didn’t meet him at the bus stop. She had probably stayed behind to talk to a teacher, or had been drawn into the art room again. Lucy loved art, and the endless possibilities in that room drew her in like a moth to a flame.

There was a banging sound coming from down the hall, and being the curious boy he was, he followed it.

“Papa!” someone was screaming “Papa!”

“Lucy?” Hedwig ran up to a locker to that was practically vibrating. There were dents on the door made by something on the inside. “Lucy!”

“Papa, please! Papa!” Lucy continued to scream, too hysterical to hear him.

Turning inward into his own head, Hedwig entered the room with chairs. “Mr. Dennith!” he shouted, running towards the older alter. “Mr. Dennith help! Lucy’s in trouble!”

The shift on the face of the ten year old boy was almost immediate. It took Dennis half a second to figure out what was going on before he was prying the locker door off by its hinges, causing a delirious Lucy to fall into his arms.

“Hey, hey, Lu calm down.” Dennis attempted to sooth, grabbing her arms when she kept trying to hit the door that was no longer there. She’d done some serious damage to her hands, and he could see bruises starting to form on her arms and legs as well. “You’re safe now, you’re safe. It’s me, it’s Dennis!”

“…Dennis….” Lucy said in a soft, shaky whisper.

“It’s okay now. I’ve got you, I promise.”

******
Both Lucy and Kevin did not go to school for the rest of the week. Lucy saw more of Kevin than she had in quite a while, even if it was just him holding her against him on the floor of her apartment. She needed him, so there he was.

Kevin wanted desperately to be able to say something reassuring, but all his words died on his tongue. What could he say? That things would get better? How? They were two unwanted children and the only person who’d ever given a damn about him was sitting right next to him and he couldn’t even help her!

Every time he was in tears, his mother would give him a speech about God. Supposedly, if he prayed long and hard, God would give him salvation – though she didn’t exactly know it was salvation from her he was looking for.

Perhaps it was a selfish wish. He had read multiple cases in the Bible where being kind to the people around you got you the greatest reward in the end. Selfishness was a sin, but he’d never really had anyone else to pray for.

Till he met Lucy. Sweet, brilliant, kind, funny, amazing Lucy Collins. If angels existed, she was one of them. She had been through so much pain however, yet she still managed to welcome him and the others into her life with open arms. Those brilliant green eyes had a light that he prayed would never fade. Those talented hands could pull off a million different projects that he prayed would get to be in a museum one day.

But most of all, and perhaps falling back into the selfish category, he prayed he would never lose her. She had only been around a few years, but he couldn’t imagine his life without her.

She deserved better though. She deserved parents who loved her, an apartment with real furniture, and a best friend that didn’t have a novel long list of issues for her to put up with.

He had faith in Lucy, but his faith in everything else was wearing. What was the point in routing for a losing team that doesn’t even seem to try?

******

The window was already open when Lucy climbed up to it late one Sunday morning. She knew Kevin’s mother dragged him to church with her every week, but he ought to be back by now.

What she did not expect, was to find the boy knelt beside his bed, hands folded. He appeared to muttering prayers under his breath.

“Hello?” Lucy called, uncertain who currently had the light.

He looked up and when he turned to face her Lucy saw a serene expression she had never seen on her friend’s face before. “Hello dear.” A British accent that was certainly new said kindly. “I was wondering when I would get to meet you.”

“Er, sorry, but who are you?” she frowned.

“Oh! How rude of me!” standing up, the new personality walked up to the girl sitting in the window and held out a hand. “My name’s Patricia.”

“Lucy.” She shook his – her – hand. This was different; all the other personalities in Kevin’s body were boys. She hadn’t been aware having a female one as well was even possible.

“Oh yes, I know all about you.” Patricia smiled at her. “You’ve done so much for the boys, you’ve been more kind than anyone we’ve ever come across.”

“Kevin’s my best friend.” Lucy said simply. “Dennis and Hedwig are a part of him, and that makes them my friends too. You as well, if you’d like.”

Patricia clapped her hands together with a gleeful expression, as though that was exactly what she’d wanted to hear. “Absolutely! Oh, we’re going to have such fun!”

Lucy had never had a female influence in her life. She had no memories of her mother, and no one had ever come around to fill the whole. Patricia seemed all too happy to however; gossiping about everything under the sun while she braided Lucy’s hair. She wasn’t aware that was a skill her friend had, but then again all the personalities had their own.

“You really are such a beautiful girl, Lucy.” She said softly. “I imagine boys will be throwing themselves at your feet when you get older.”

Lucy grimaced. Some of the kids in their class were beginning to start puberty, and suddenly who was dating who was a big deal. She’d never seen the appeal. “I think I’ll stick to you guys.”

A strange look overcame Patricia’s face at that. “You mean that?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I?”

“We aren’t exactly the best of company…”

“Yes you are!” Lucy took Patricia’s hands, making her look up at her. “Patricia, you and the boys are the most extraordinary people I’ve ever met! I wouldn’t trade you for the world.”

“You would be the first to think so…” she looked down bashfully. “Kevin has lost his faith in a lot of things you know; it’s how I came to be. But he has such high faith in you. You may be the only thing left in the world that he truly believes in.”

Lucy smiled, a little sadly. “It’s hard to believe in something you can’t see the proof of.” Kevin’s mother was very religious. He had been raised to believe in things like God, but had always found it extremely difficult; yet another reason he’d end up feeling worthless and ashamed.

“What do you believe in?” Patricia looked at her curiously.

Lucy looked up in thought for a second. “You.” She decided. “You, and Kevin, and Dennis, and Hedwig. That’s what I believe in.”

******

While Lucy had been grateful for even one friend, having four was so much fun. It was interesting that, though they were all in the same body, it still felt like they were playing as a group.

She and Hedwig ended the night eating popcorn and watching a movie on the portable DVD player they’d brought down from Kevin’s room. Their eyes were beginning to droop as the credits rolled, and Hedwig yawned as he curled into Lucy’s side.

“’Night Luce.” He said sleepily. “Love you.”

Lucy’s eyes snapped over to him and she suddenly felt very awake. “Yeah…I love you guys too…”

****

Time progressed peacefully for a while. Kevin started coming into the light more, if only because Dennis thought the local middle school was a disgusting cesspool. Hedwig was all too eager to go to school in his place, but acting like a little kid was no longer deemed appropriate. People would get suspicious if Patricia took over, so that left Kevin himself.

Lucy almost wished they could stop going to school entirely. Everything scared Kevin nowadays. The loud noise of the school bell, the crowds in the halls, the attention turned to him if the teacher ever called on him for an answer. The only time the poor boy ever seemed at peace was when he and Lucy sat alone in her apartment. Having her everywhere else was a comfort, but when they were alone, he could pretend they were the only people in the world. And the world didn’t seem so scary then.

Nothing scared Kevin more than when his body began the early stages of puberty however. Other than the disgusting video they’d been shown in health class, all he knew about this stage in his development was what his mother had told him. And she hadn’t said anything good.

What scared him even more was the role Lucy played in all of this. Suddenly things as simple as holding her hand or seeing her smile made his chest feel tight and his stomach turn. It was different than how they did so when he upset however. It was still painful, but…it was a sort of pain he didn’t want to go away.

It didn’t help that those in class who had reached their pubescent peak early held themselves with an air of superiority. They believed themselves to be better than others. Granted, the majority of them had held this belief already, but this was just a new reason to put everyone else down.

Lucy would roll her eyes at them and call them idiots. She didn’t see the appeal to wearing skirts and training bras, and she claimed the girls slathering make up on every little blemish looked like clowns.

Kevin wished he shared her indifference to the world around her. He had learned early on that after a lifetime of being ignored by the world, Lucy had lost interest in it. He and the others were the only thing she still cared about. Well, them and art class.

The older boys made him feel very small, and not just because they were taller than he was. They all seemed so strong, confident, and sure of their place in the world. He was a scrawny, underfed little kid, and his bowl cut hair and baggy clothes that hid his scars and bruises didn’t do much for his image. He saw other girls fawn over boys like Jake Parker, an upperclassman who apparently had sparkly eyes and perfect hair. While Lucy was not one of these girls, he worried. Why would she want anything to do with him when guys like Jake existed?

While Kevin Crumb excelled at finding flaws in himself, in his eyes Lucy Collins was perfect. She wasn’t the kind of perfect that made him feel inferior, just unworthy. He’d never understand why she was so nice to him, not to mention Dennis, Hedwig and Patricia. Comforting him when he had panic attacks, keeping everything spick and span so Dennis wouldn’t get upset, running around with Hedwig, gossiping with Patricia, it all came so naturally to her. Kevin was well aware that having more than one person in your head wasn’t normal, but Lucy made it feel like it was. And sometimes there were moments, just singular moments, where she could make him feel like he had absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

Of course, there were also times when she made new problems for him all together.

Like when some of the older kids were teasing them about holding hands as they walked down the hall. They’d asked if Lucy was his girlfriend – in a way that made the idea sound preposterous – but his cheeks still turned red at the thought. Lucy had told them to drop dead, but they weren’t relenting. When the teasing turned from the both of them to just him, the boys laughing and saying no girl would ever want to kiss him, let alone date him, she stopped him.

Before he could ask why, she was pushing him up against the lockers and pressing her lips to his.

Kevin was pretty sure the others were screaming in his head, but he couldn’t hear them. The tight feeling in his chest was back, as were the butterflies in his stomach. Before he could fully process what was happening, Lucy pulled away. She stuck her tongue out at the bullies, before she tugged him on their way.

******
Lucy noticed her friend was unusually silent as they sat in her apartment, playing with the checkers set he had found for her at a second-hand store.

“King me.” She remarked, finally getting his attention.

“Huh?” Kevin blinked and looked down at the board. “How’d you do that?”

“It’s easy when your head is in the clouds instead of in the game.” She informed, making his eyes flitter downward. “Penny for your thoughts?”

“….You kithed me.”

“I did that.” Lucy nodded.

“Why?”

“It got those idiots to quit teasing you.”

“But now people are gonna think we – they’re gonna think we’re a couple.”

“So?” she shrugged. “I don’t mind. You’re kinda cute.”

Kevin’s cheeks lit up a bright red. “No I’m not….”

“Hey.” She poked him in the arm. “Have I ever lied to you?” he shook his head silently. “Besides, if I snatch you up before another girl does, that means I get to keep you.”

“You already have me.” Kevin said simply. “All of uth. We’re not goin anywhere.”

She smiled at him and leaned over the checker’s board to kiss his cheek. His face heated up again and the butterfly feeling returned to his stomach.

When he looked up again, it was clear someone else had taken the light.

“Keep kissin’ ‘im, he just might melt.” Dennis remarked, moving one of the red pieces on the board. Kevin’s puberty had been difficult for him; all these new feelings scared him, and whatever Kevin was scared of usually got pushed onto him. He bore it well, but there were times he felt the weight on his shoulders a little too much.

“Would you rather me kiss you?” Lucy said boldly, something she only was in the presence of Kevin or one of his alters. It was amazing how quickly the switch could flip from the invisible girl to the mischievous one who loved nothing more than reducing her friend to a stuttering mess.

And indeed, Dennis was stuttering, opening and closing his mouth, making several sounds but none of them were words. With a smirk on her face, Lucy leaned over, making the checker pieces slide off the side of the board. She laid her hands on Dennis’ cheeks and placed an innocent peck on his lips.

Dennis stared at her; bright blue meeting emerald green. The idea that this girl – the only thing any of them had ever loved – continued to surprise him with giving them her love in return….

In that one moment, he could see a whole world in her eyes. A world where he didn’t have to be the strong one, where people like Kevin’s mother were nothing but a bad memory. A world where, as long as Lucy Collins was in it, everything was perfect.

“I love you…” his voice came out in a quiet whisper. “And you are the first and only person who is ever gonna hear me thay that. Lucy, I dunno what we ever did to deserve you, but I’m really glad we met you.”

“Me too.” Lucy smiled at him.

They set up the game again and continued to play in silence. When the sun began to set, Dennis announced that he had to get home.

“You could stay, you know.” Lucy called out to him as he was pushing the window open.

He looked at her over his shoulder, his eyes scanning the safe heaven the small abandoned apartment offered. Truthfully he wasn’t sure why he and the others felt the need to return to their own apartment every day. It wasn’t like there was anything good there waiting for them. They were just drawn back, hoping things would be better this time, but knowing deep down they never would be.

“I’ll thee you tomorrow.” Dennis said before climbing out the window.

Chapter Text

Picture this: a bright blue sky without a cloud in sight, the sun inching up the edge, and birds chirping to welcome the new day.

It was all downhill from there.

This particular day happened to be a Sunday, so Lucy knew Kevin would be late coming over because his mother took him to church every week. The further the sun creeped across the sky however, the more she began to worry.

This was what lead to her climbing down the fire escape to his window. It was cracked to let in the spring breeze, allowing Lucy to not only see but also hear the horrors within.

“Kevin Wendell Crumb.” A woman who could only be her friend’s mother said, kneeling by the side of her son’s bed with her back to the window. “You made a mess. Get out here.”

Lucy frowned. Was Kevin under the bed? She had always gotten the impression his home life wasn’t the best, but she’d never had the need to hide from her father. Granted her old room didn’t have an under the bed.

“Kevin Wendell Crumb! You made a mess! Get out here!” the woman suddenly shouted, slashing what looked to be a broken wire coat hanger under the bed.

“No! Mom pleath!” the boy screamed as his mother caught his ankle and dragged him out from under the bed.

It took about five seconds of Mrs. Crumb swinging the hanger for Lucy to jump into action. Throwing the window the rest of the way open, she lunged at the woman, landing on her back.

“Leave him alone!”

“What the --?” Mrs. Crumb exclaimed in confusion, trying to throw the girl off her back.

“Lucy!” Kevin exclaimed.

The small, undernourished child was by no means strong enough to keep her hold forever, especially with Mrs. Crumb swinging the wire hanger at her behind her back. Lucy cried out in pain as the sharp end of the hanger hit her and left a nasty cut on her cheek. She toppled to the floor, a few feet away from Kevin.

“So, this must be the little tramp you’ve been running off with at all hours of the day. I always knew you were nothing but trouble!”

“Don’t you ever say that!” Lucy shouted, despite the pain in her cheek that only increased from talking. “Kevin’s worth ten thousand of you! They all are!”

“Why you little –” Mrs. Crumb went at her with the hanger again, only to be tackled into the wall by her son.

“Lucy!” Dennis’ deep accent exclaimed as he knelt by the girl. The impact of her head against the wall had rendered Mrs. Crumb unconscious for the time being, something he knew he’d pay dearly for later but at the moment he couldn’t bring himself to care. “Lucy, look at me!”

“Your mom’s mean…” Lucy mumbled, her blood loss starting to get to her.

“Luce, I need you to stay awake.” Dennis said, the worry in his voice clear. “Pleath, thtay with me, please…”

******

Lucy woke up to the sound of a beeping heart monitor and the smell of nail polish. She looked down to see the culprit painting her nails a sunset orange; her favorite color.

“Hey Trisha.”

Patricia looked up in surprise, her face softening into a relieved smile. “Good morning thleepyhead. You gave us all quite the thcare, you know.”

“That makes five of us.” Lucy remarked. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Patricia looked down, avoiding her eyes. “Trisha I’m your best friend. I’m supposed to take care of you.”

“…It’s a thhameful thing, Lucy. We didn’t want you to think leth of us.”

“Why would I? You didn’t think less of me when….” Lucy shook her head, quickly changing the subject. “Trisha, I’m going to be your friend for the rest of your lives. There is nothing, any of you could ever do to change that. Especially not something that isn’t even your fault.”

If Patricia had a response to that, she never got to say it as the doctor entered the room just then.

“Ah, you’re awake.” He smiled good naturedly at her. “How’re you feeling?”

“This thing is itchy.” Lucy said, pulling at her hospital gown.

The Doctor chuckled. “Well at least we know your sense of touch is still in order. Let’s take a look at the others.” He stepped up to the side of the bed Patricia was not sitting at and frowned at her. “I’m afraid you’ll have to leave young man; we have a strict immediate family only policy.”

Lucy could have sworn she saw the disappoint of all four of them in those blue eyes as the body they all inhabited stood. “No!” she caught her friend’s hand before they could take another step. “You’re staying with me. You’re my family.”

A shy smile spread across Patricia’s face, but it was clear she was holding back her elation. Taking her place back in her seat, she squeezed Lucy’s hand, her other one going to fiddle with the necklace around her neck.

“Alright then.” The doctor smiled softly before he got down to business. “Look here.” He held a finger up and moved it slowly, Lucy’s eyes following it. “Can you tell me your name, the date, and where we are?”

“My name’s Lucy Collins.” She informed. “It’s Sunday, May 13^th, and we’re in Pueblo Colorado.”

“Very good. It seems you haven’t suffered any long-term damage. Though I’m afraid that cut on your face will leave a scar.” Lucy hesitantly raised a hand to her cheek, fingertips tracing over the bumps of the stitches there. “We’ll keep you overnight for observation, just to be safe, and then a parent or guardian can sign you out in the morning.” Both children went pale, sharing a worried glance that the doctor quickly picked up on. “You do have someone who takes care of you, right?”

Lucy silently looked over to Dennis, who she could tell had taken the light by his worried furrowed brow. She wanted to say that he took care of her, but she doubted the doctor would take that as an acceptable answer. The man sighed, straightening his coat and leaving the room.

“I’m thorry….” Dennis said in a cracked voice. “I never meant for thomething like this to happen, I thhould have protected you.”

“You did.” Lucy insisted. “If you hadn’t knocked her out, who knows what would have happened.” He looked down, hiding the tears gathering in his eyes. “Dennis…”

“You thhouldn’t have done what you did.”

“She was hurting you!”

“Thhe only does it when thhe’s mad.” He muttered. “It’s not tho bad.”

“She shouldn’t be hurting you at all! Any of you!” she tried to remove her hand from his, intending to lift his chin to make him look at her, but he held on tightly.

“Pleath don’t….” he whispered, misinterpreting her action as pulling herself away from him.

“Dennis, look at me.”  Lucy said quietly. Blue eyes met green, and the girl’s heart broke a little. She could see all the sadness in the world in those eyes, but at the same time they were filled with love and adoration, directed at her. Once again Lucy felt humble and extremely special. “You’ve always protected everyone. Me, Kevin, Hedwig, Patricia….just this once, just for the hell of it, let me protect you.”

Tears pricked at the corner of Dennis’ eyes before he threw his arms around his friend. Lucy held him as close as possible, allowing him to soak the shoulder of her hospital gown.

“I love you Lucy….” He said, his voice muffled in tears.

“I love you too.” Lucy traced soothing patterns on his back. “I always will.”

******

Lucy’s friends refused to leave her side all night long. Whether it was Hedwig asking to share her jello, Patricia putting the second coat of nail polish on her fingers, or Dennis worrying over her every move, not wanting her to hurt herself further.

Kevin even made an appearance, though it was not until late at night after she had fallen asleep. Lucy was woken when he shifted next to her; Hedwig had crawled into the hospital bed with her before he’d fallen asleep.

“Lucy? Are you awake?” a voice that was distinctly his whispered. Lucy kept silent however, and Kevin sighed, twisting her hair between his fingers. “….Mr. Dennis thays mom is wrong about a lot of things. I think thhe got one thing right though. Thhe’d talk about angels, how’d they’d take care of uth if we were worthy. Thhe always said I never wath. Mr. Dennis doesn’t even think they’re real. But I do. I think you’re my angel, Lucy. I know I’m not worthy of you….but I’m gonna be. I promith. I juth hope I get to keep you long enough.”

******

When morning came, the doctor returned to check on Lucy. After giving her a clean bill of health, he smiled at her and told her she was free to go. Hedwig giggled and covered his eyes while she exchanged her hospital gown for her old clothes. They walked out of the room hand in hand, but paused when they saw Lucy’s doctor talking to a woman at the reception desk. Something about their expressions made Lucy’s stomach turn; tightening her grip on Hedwig’s hand.

The doctor pointed the pair out to the woman who stepped forward and knelt down to their height in front of Lucy.

“Hi Lucy.” She said in an overly sweet voice. “My name’s Mary Harris.”

“So?” Lucy frowned, the bad feeling in her stomach increasing.

“So, I’m a social worker. Your doctor was very worried about you, coming in all by yourself.”

“I’m not by myself.” She said, pulling Hedwig closer to her. The poor boy, ever innocent, looked between the woman and his friend in confusion.

“Coming in without an adult.” Mary corrected. “Lucy, have you got anyone that looks after you?” Lucy glanced at her friend, wanting to say Dennis took care of her, but she had promised to keep the existence of the alters a secret. Besides, she doubted it would go over well with the woman. Taking her silence as a no, Mary sighed, a pitying expression on her face. “Come with me dear, I’ll find a nice family to take you in.”

“No!” Lucy and Hedwig exclaimed at the same time, clinging to each other.

“It’ll be alright, I’m sure you’ll still get to see your friend.” Mary took Lucy’s free hand. Lucy dug her heels into the tile and fought against her as she attempted to lead her away.

The room was a muffled mix of people shouting and reprimanding. All Lucy could hear were the alarm bells going off in her head.

“No!” she fought against the social worker. “Dennis! Dennis don’t let her take me! Dennis please!”

The last thing she saw were heartbroken blue eyes behind an automatic sliding door as she banged her fists against the back window of Mary’s car.

Chapter Text

*Three Years Later*

“You have to hold thill!” Dennis said, attempting to sound stern, but he was laughing as much as Lucy was.

“So do you!” she countered, shoving him. He rolled his eyes and tugged her into his side to keep her in place. The camera let out a loud click and Lucy reached forward to retrieve the polaroid it spit out. Shaking it till it cleared, she held it up to eye level. “I think we look good.”

“We’re barely in focus.” Dennis stood from the picnic table and stepped back a few paces. “Hold still, and turn towards the sun.” he instructed. Lucy shifted and smiled at him while he aimed his shot. Dennis quite liked photography, which was why she’d snatched up the camera he was now using when she’d found it at the second-hand store.

Click!

Lucy’s eyes snapped open to the banging on the door. “Wake up kid! You need to get to school, and I need to work!” a gruff voice shouted through the thin wood.

“Be right out, Mr. Dawson!” she called tiredly, pushing herself up from the pull-out couch in the home office. The Dawson household offered better conditions than some of her previous foster homes, but the sleeping arrangements were never comfortable.

Lucy had long since stopped counting how many homes she had been cycled through. She was what the system deemed ‘a runner’, her many attempts to return to her home in Colorado putting a virtual black mark on her record. One of several, as her escapades often lead to stealing food or breaking in somewhere for a place to sleep.

She had been trying to return to her friends since the day she’d been taken away. It seemed the more she ran, the further they shipped her out however. She sent letters to Kevin and the others nearly every day, but moved around so much she rarely got a reply. She tried her best to be alright with that; she didn’t want her friends to think she’d forgotten them, and honestly they needed the reassurance more than she did.

Throwing her clothes on, Lucy grabbed her backpack and left the office just in time to avoid running into Mr. Dawson. She spared a fleeting glance to the breakfast table; the bland cereal and toast wasn’t that enticing, but she still wasn’t allowed to have any. The less the Dawsons spent on her, the more of the federal money they got to keep. They simply told her to eat lunch at the school.

Lucy had no intentions of going to school that day however, taking a wrong turn once she was out of sight of the old house. She skimmed the cars lining a Safeway lot until her eyes landed on a late model orange BMW. Perfect.

******

Something Lucy had discovered was that it was much easier to hide in bigger cities than it was in small towns no one had ever heard of. The hide in plain sight theory applied to everything from hiding from social services to stealing from convince stores.

At least…that was the idea.

“Thief! Hey! Somebody stop that guy!”

Lucy bobbed and weaved through the crowd on the sidewalk as fast as she could. Stupid corner security mirrors, she was always forgetting about those. Glancing back behind her to make sure the man chasing her was far enough away, she stopped to unlock her car and jump into the driver’s seat. Taking off at what was defiantly not the speed limit, she successfully lost the guy.

Sighing, Lucy finally relaxed, pushing down the hood of her sweatshirt. She pulled the bag from under it, tossing it into the passenger seat. That should last her long enough to get over the state line, then begin her long journey across the country to get back home.

Woooo!

Well crap.

Lucy groaned and thumped her head against the wheel, but pulled to the side of the road, allowing the police car to pull up behind her. It was better to start from the beginning again than it was to end up on an APB.

“Hey, buddy you know you ran the red light back there?” a New York accent asked as the man behind it walked up to the rolled down window. “What the – hey you ain’t old enough to drive!”

“And you ain’t a chocolate cake, but it looks like you’ve put away a few.” Lucy sassed.

She was really starting to hate wearing handcuffs…

******

Some cities, mostly the major ones like New York, had what were called Special Victim Units. They handled thing like sexual assault cases, rape, and any time a minor was the main person involved.

Lucy hadn’t had the pleasure of coming across one yet, but that was where she eventually ended up. The officer who had arrested her was real mad; after taking her back to his station he’d asked for all her personal belongings before locking her up. Lucy had handed over things like her pocket knife and car keys, but had gone absolutely nuts when he’d tried to take her necklace.

He left her in the middle of the precinct with her hands cuffed behind her back, muttering curses as he left sporting a black eye. Lucy skimmed the room of officers and detectives all going about their business; once again she was invisible. She eyed an open box of donuts on the table across from her, resisting the urge to lick her lips. She hadn’t eaten yet today.

“You want one?” a voice made her look up to see an old man with oval shaped glasses and hair cut short enough that it showed off his big ears. “Cops and donuts are a bit of a cliché, but we usually end up sticking to whatever’s fastest.” He sat down at the desk her chair was next to. “You know the uni that brought you in looked a little worse for wear. You give ‘im a hard time?”

“Is this the part where you instantly don’t like me cuz I hurt a cop?” Lucy raised an eyebrow. She had been around the police enough to know that they were fiercely loyal – something she envied.

“Ah, the guys a jackass.” The man shrugged. “So, why orange?”

“Huh?”

“Your car. Why orange? Not exactly an incognito color.”

“I dunno.” She frowned. “I, like orange, I stole it. Is this really what you’re supposed to be asking me?”

“Well you see, I’m just curious how a young lady like yourself ends up speeding through a red light down town when you don’t even look like you can reach the pedals.”

“There’s cans taped to them.” Lucy said dryly. “Look, can we skip all the small talk? I’ve had a long day. The guy that arrested me took my car, he got pushy when I wouldn’t give him my necklace, and now I’m handcuffed and sitting in a police station in freakin’ Queens.”

“You’re in Manhattan.”

“I’m in Manhattan? Ugh.” She slouched against the back of her chair. “That’s even worse!”

The man chuckled and smirked. “What’s your name kid?”

“Why is that your business?”

“Well we need to know who you are to know where to put you.”

“I just wanna go home!” Lucy exclaimed, her desperation showing on her face for the first time in years.

“Okay. Where’s home?”

“Pueblo Colorado.”

“Colorado?” he raised an eyebrow. “You’re a long way from home.”

“Why do you think I’m tryin’ to get back?”

“Okay.” He leaned towards her, placing his elbows on his knees. “You answer some questions for me, I can try and help you get home.”

“You can?”

“Sure. Here, I’ll start.” He walked around her and unlocked her handcuffs, then stood by her chair and held out a hand. “My name’s John Munch. What’s yours?”

“….Lucy Collins.” Lucy said after a moment, shaking his hand.

“Nice ta meet ya Lucy.”

Given her past experiences with police, Lucy was surprised to find herself liking the Manhattan SVU department. They didn’t snap at her when she sassed them, they didn’t force her to do anything she didn’t want to do, and they didn’t forget her in a lock-up cell for hours on end.

Munch had introduced her to some of his coworkers, among them his partner Finn. He seemed rather impressed with her colorful backstory, and had told her as much, though he shut up rather quickly at the stern look he got from his captain.

“Lucy, can I ask how you ended up in foster care?” Olivia, the only woman she’d met so far, asked kindly. “What happened to your parents?”

Lucy shrugged and hummed in an ‘I dunno’ type fashion. “I was living on my own when was taken to the hospital. Doctor was the one that called social services.”

“And your parents?”

“I had a dad.” She informed. “But he probably forgot about me once he got a fresh six pack. It’s okay.” She said quickly, seeing the pitying expression cross the detective’s face. “I don’t mind. To be honest, I don’t think he knew my name.”

“What about your mother?” Finn frowned.

“I guess I had one at some point, but I don’t remember. All papa ever said about her was that she was a whore.”

The four detectives in the room shared a look, and Oliva took a deep breath and stood. “Okay, why don’t I take you down to the lodge room to get some rest, and we’ll see if we can get a hold of your social worker.”

“She’s gonna be mad.” Lucy informed the woman as they turned to leave the main squad room.

“Don’t worry honey, we’ll explain everything.” She assured.

Lucy went silent at the term of endearment, never having it directed at her before. Sure, Kevin and the other’s complemented her a lot, but words like that were reserved for different kinds of relationships.

Oliva led her down to a room full of bunk beds where the officers would sleep after being on extremely long shifts. Lucy pulled herself up onto one of the top bunks and traced a hand over the flannel blanket. “I’ve never had one before…” she remarked to herself, but the detective heard her.

“What, a top bunk?”

“….a bed.” Lucy admitted in a quiet voice. She’d slept on a mattress at papa’s, and foster care had been a merry-go-round of pull outs, futons, and air mattresses.

A look that wasn’t quite pity and wasn’t quite anger crossed Oliva’s face, and she stepped up to the bunk. “Lucy, if someone’s been mistreating you, you can tell us. We can keep you safe.”

Lucy scoffed, still looking down at the bedspread. “If you wanted me safe, I’d been on my way to Colorado already. Cuz I’m not gonna stop.” She looked up at the woman with fierce determination. “No matter where you send me, I’m gonna get away. I’m gonna get home.”

“You said your parents are gone. So why are you so determined to go back?” She faltered and looked away. No one had ever actually asked her that. “Lucy, what’s in Colorado?”

“…..I had these friends.” Lucy said in a voice that was barely a whisper, tears pooling in her eyes. “They were the only people who – who ever cared about me. They love me, I’m all they’ve got.” Her voice cracked, and she turned to the detective with a broken expression. “I’ve gotta get back Oliva. I’ve gotta. I think she’s going to kill them.”

“Who is?”

Lucy raised a shaky hand to the scar on her cheek. It had healed and faded over time, but there was still a prominent silver line cutting across her skin. Unable to hold back years of pain any longer, she broke down into a sobbing mess. Oliva held onto her arm to make sure she didn’t fall off the top bunk. Eventually, she cried herself out, and the detective laid the girl with the tear-stained face down and pulled the covers over her shoulders silently praying that she’d sleep peacefully. God knows she needed it.

******

Lucy’s DNA had been taken to run through the system; everyone in the department agreed that her father ought to be arrested for negligence, and possibly more – they wouldn’t know until they got Lucy to open up.

Tim Collins, the man Lucy had named as her father, did not turn up with her DNA however. What did turn up was a decades old case file from Lucy’s hometown.

“Hannah Mathews.” Warner, the M.E. informed, turning the screen towards the detectives. “According to the case report, she and her infant son were both found dead in his nursery. The husband was originally blamed, but her death was ruled a suicide.”

“What about the kid?” Elliot frowned.

“Reports say he was smothered to death with a pillow. She must’ve killed him before she killed herself.”

“Okay, what does any of this have to do with Lucy?” Olivia asked.

“According to the DNA results, Hannah Mathews was Lucy’s mother.”

“Then why didn’t Tim turn up?” the female detective frowned, not liking where this was going.

“Well I pulled the strings on the kid’s DNA.” Warner said, walking towards another screen where the grid for Lucy’s DNA sample was pulled up. “The green parts are the common crossover.” She pointed.

“So?” Elliot raised an eyebrow.

“So, there’s way too much green for your average sample. This kid’s father must’ve had similar DNA to her mother; my guess is they were brother and sister.”

“…She’s the product of incest…”

******

Lucy looked around the gray room detective Stabler led her into warily. She didn’t like it in here; it was too small and there was a draft coming from somewhere that made her rub at her arms.

“You can go ahead and take a seat, Dr. Wong ‘ll be in in a few minutes.” Elliot informed. He went to leave the room, but Lucy whirled around fast as lighting, catching the heavy metal door before he could pull it shut.

“Don’t…please…” she said in a small voice, her eyes wide like a deer in headlights.

“What’s the matter?” He frowned. Lucy opened and closed her mouth a few times, but found the words getting stuck in her throat, along with all the air. Elliot, recognizing that something was wrong, stepped away from the door and put a hand on her arm. “Hey, hey look at me, you’re okay. You’re okay.” He soothed, steadying her until her breathing returned to normal. “You want me to stay here and wait with you?”

“Yes please…” Lucy said in a very small voice that betrayed the scared little girl hiding behind the sassy criminal of a teenager.

Elliot led her to the large metal table and took the seat across from her that was meant for Dr. Wong. “So, you like to draw, right?” he asked, trying to lighten the mood. “The uni said he found some sketchbooks with your stuff.”

“Paper and pens are pretty much the only thing you can count on to be available anywhere.” Lucy said, looking down at her hands where she was playing with her fingers on the tabletop.

“Well you’re right about that. In fact –” the detective pulled his notepad and pen from the pocket of his suit jacket, and held them out to her. “How’d you like to sketch something before Wong gets here?”

Ever the artist, Lucy couldn’t deny the temptation and took the tools from his hand after hesitating for just a moment. Elliot let her draw in silence until the door opened, causing both of them to look up.

“Hello Lucy, I’m Dr. Wong.” An Asian man smiled kindly at her. “The detectives called me in to talk with you. I see one of them has been keeping you company.”

Lucy nodded and held the detectives pen and pad out for him to take back. Elliot took it and went to tear the picture she’d drawn free for her, but paused when he saw what it was. A boy and a girl; each with little more definition than a stick figure, were holding hands as they walked down a street with their backs facing the viewpoint. The light appeared to be coming from in front of them, casting shadows that stretched from behind. This was nothing out of the ordinary, except that where the girl only had one shadow, the boy had four of varying sizes and shapes.

Making a mental note of the image, Elliot tore it from the pad and handed it to the girl, who folded it up and tucked it away into the pocket of her hoodie. She kept her gaze on the metal table top as the detective left the room.

******
“Now Lucy, why don’t we start by talking about some of the families you’ve stayed with?” the psychiatrist said, taking the seat the detective had previously occupied.

“Okay.” Lucy said, her voice a scratchy whisper. Since leaving Colorado, she had gone back to not using it very often, and it showed.

“Do you know how many you’ve been with?”

“No.” she shook her head. “It’s in the low twenties I think. But I guess the Johnsons and the Kellys don’t really count; I was only at those houses for a week.”

Dr. Wong raised a surprised eyebrow. “Why’d you move around so much?”

“They put me with a new family every time I ran away from one.”

“And why did you run away so much?”

“I’m just trying to get home.”

The psychiatrist hesitated a second before he leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table. “Lucy, you do understand that you were placed in the foster system because you didn’t have a home? According to your file, you were living in an abandoned apartment when you were first taken in.”

“You don’t know me.” She finally looked up at him with a stern glare. “None of them do. They never listened.”

“Well I’m listening now. Help me understand.”

“I had a home, and I had a family. I was happy, but that doctor called that woman and ruined everything!”

“That doctor treated you for a deep cut with an infection. He gave you twenty stiches.” Lucy’s hand reached up to ghost across the silver scar on her cheek. “Lucy, you have to understand, this obsession with returning to a place where you were unsafe; it’s not healthy.”

“Well of course it isn’t!” she snapped. “Let’s take you away from everything you love, see how you turn out!”

“I understand that you miss your home, but you were taken into the foster system for your own wellbeing and protection.”

Lucy scoffed and burst out laughing, making Dr. Wong raise a questioning brow at her. “Y-You, you do get, that everyone who shuttles me through the system is killing me, with this passive form of slow homicide?”

“Now what makes you say that?”

Lucy sighed and rested her forehead in her hand. “My expectation in life is to be invisible Doc. And I’m good at it.” She informed. “Taking me away from the only people in my life who ever saw me? It’s like shooting me in the gut, and now no one will let me go to the hospital.”

“…Why don’t you tell me about these friends of yours? What were their names?”

“Dennis….Patrica, Hedwig….Kevin….”

“And what exactly made them so special to you?”

“I told you. They saw me.” A lump came into Lucy’s throat and she choked on it. “I-I didn’t matter. Nothing mattered, I was just on my own. I made my own meals, bought my own clothes, and got myself to school every day. If I didn’t take care of myself, no one would. But then Kevin….” Her voice cracked and she could feel tears pricking at her eyes. “He was so shy. Nervous, a-and scared, but he came up to me. He’s my best friend.”

“What about the others?”

Lucy chewed her lip. “….I’m not supposed to say.”

“Lucy, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me everything.”

“Sure you can. Put me on the next flight to Pueblo and your job’s done.” The sassy teenager was back. “It’s really simple, Doc. I just wanna go home.”

Chapter Text

Lucy was in police custody for two weeks. Detective Benson could be found arguing with social services workers either in person or one the phone almost constantly. Lucy still hadn’t given anyone all the details pertaining to the friends she had been forced to leave behind, but she’d made it clear she thought they were in trouble. Her protective instincts that came with her job, along with the sheer desperation that came to the teen’s eyes whenever she asked to go home made the detective dead set on granting that wish. Social services said otherwise however; they wanted her back in the system where she belonged, and a reminder that Lucy was likely to run again only resulted in the offered possibly of a juvenile detention center taking her in. Lucy was tough, but she was far too subdued to be able to survive in prison.

Despite the rest of the SVU squad also wanting to help the girl, they were more worried for their colleague at the moment. Oliva had a habit of getting overly invested in deeper cases like this. They liked Lucy though; she a kind and gentle girl once you broke through the hardened shell. She also seemed to have a knack for their line of police work – though the Captain had scolded her for going through the files. As a child of trauma herself, she could connect with victims in a way most of them couldn’t; sure they cared, but they didn’t share the experiences.

Munch and Finn were the only ones who consistently brought her in on their cases. They were better at going behind their Captain’s back, and cared more for a job to be done well instead of by the book.

Lucy was teaching a five-year-old boy how to make shadow puppets while his mother was being questioned in a different room, when Oliva came in. She smiled at the pair before drawing Lucy’s attention.

“Lucy.” She said, making the girl look up. “I have some good news.” She bent down and placed a folder with a pair of plane tickets tucked into it. “You and I are going to Colorado.”

Wide green eyes looked down at the tickets, then up at the detective in shock. Then a smile that could’ve put the sun to shame lit up her face as she threw her arms around the woman, making her stumble back slightly.

“Thank you thank you thank you!” she repeated over and over.

I’m coming for you. She thought to herself. Don’t worry, I’ll be home soon.

******
Detective Benson was allowed to take Lucy to Colorado on the sole condition that the girl was now in her custody. If she ran off on her watch, it’d be her head on the chopping block.

Running away seemed to be the last thing on Lucy’s mind however, despite the fact that she could hardly sit still. The plane, the trolley, and the car all couldn’t seem to move fast enough for her liking. When things out the car window began to look familiar, Oliva was sure she’d have to restrain the girl from jumping out before they pulled over.

Instead of going for the door like the detective had expected when she let out a joyous cry of ‘This is it!’ and ran towards one of the buildings, she headed towards the fire escape in the alley. Climbing with a practiced ease that even she didn’t have, she darted up the levels like something was chasing her from down below.

Something was after a moment, as Oliva was forced to huff and follow after her, yelling for her to stop.

By the time she caught up to Lucy, she had already gone in a window. “Lucy, you need to stay with me. You can’t run off like that again, or you’ll get us both in trouble. Lucy didn’t appear to be listening, fingertips running over one of the crayon scribbled drawings that had been taped up on the wall. This one in particular depicted a tiny Batman and a blonde Robin. “What is this place?”

“Home.” Lucy said simply, her voice a thousand miles away. Blinking out of her thoughts, she turned on her heel to face the detective. “They aren’t here.”

“Your friends you told me about?” Oliva had gotten more information about these mysterious friends in one plane ride than she had in the entire time she’d known the girl; Lucy wouldn’t shut up about them, she was so excited to see them again.

“If they aren’t here, they’ve got to be with their mother.” Lucy’s face went pale. “Oliva we gotta rescue them!” and there was the scared, underdeveloped little girl hiding behind the face of a teenager.

“Rescue them from what?” Oliva asked. It had been the one question Lucy still refused to answer.

Lucy’s fingertips, which were beginning to shake, lifted up to ghost over the scar on her cheek. “Bad….” She whispered, shaking her head. “Oliva, please….”

The detective sighed, once again surrendering to the desperation in her eyes. “Where do they live?”

******
Mrs. Crumb was extremely unhappy to come to the door of her apartment, and even less happy to see Lucy. Part of it was because she recognized her, and part of it was because Lucy pushed her aside and ran into the apartment the second the door was opened wide enough.

She ignored Oliva calling for her and instead proceeded to the back room of the living space. “Kevin! Dennis! Trisha, Hed-” she froze in the doorway. “wig….”

The room was an absolute wreck, which spoke to how recent the damage was, as both Dennis and Mrs. Crumb would never have stood for a mess like this. The mattress on the bed had been flipped over, exposing Kevin’s hiding place. There was a small pile of paper in between the bed slats that was burnt in many places, but Lucy could still recognize her own handwriting on them.

The worst part however, was the large blood stain on the carpet that looked fresh.

Lucy choked on air, tears blurring her vision as she fell to her knees. “Oliva!” she screeched when she finally found her voice, sounding like a wounded animal.

‘I-Is thith theat taken?’

‘…..You thwear you’ll never tell?’

‘I-….I’ve got this, other person, in my head. He’s older, and thtronger. He protects me.

‘H-How are you fine, you don’t look fine.’

‘Lucy, tell me what’s wrong.”

‘It’s okay. It’s all gonna be okay. You’ve got me to protect you.’

‘Lucy, you’ve done  tho  much for me. Can’t I just do this one thing for you?’

‘You’re amazing.’

‘You’re a thpecial kinda thomethin’, you know that?’

‘What do you believe in?’

‘’Night Luce. Love you.’

‘You already have me. All of uth. We’re not goin’ anywhere.’

*******

*Four Years Later*

It took forever, but eventually Lucy got back to being a functioning member of society. She’d been bounced around over a dozen psychiatrists, Dr. Wong helping her find someone to guide her through her trauma. She’d actually stayed close with all of the SVU squad, she’d even made friends with the new members that circled in within the years.

They’d been an amazing help. Because after that day Lucy was just a shell. Dr. Wong had been right; basing everything she was on returning home wasn’t healthy, and the fact that finally returning to….well, it just made everything worse.

She didn’t deny still missing her friends. Her heart ached every time she thought of them; a few of Hedwig’s drawings were still pinned to the fridge in her apartment, and many of her own drawings depicted one or more of the group. The apartment itself was always tidy. It wasn’t quite up to Dennis’ standards, but there wasn’t anything that would make him actively squirm had he been there.

The most recent thing was the new location of her apartment. After SVU had helped her become her own legal guardian, she’d taken up residence in New York. Perhaps it was the fact that the squad had finally come clean about her mother – they’d wanted to wait until she was stable enough to handle it – or perhaps it was Lucy’s desire to put herself out into the world with less of a safety net. Depending so heavily on people was what had broken her in the first place; she needed to find some independence.

This was how she had ended up in Philadelphia. Having grown accustomed to living in a bigger city, Lucy considered it the perfect place as it held just the right balance between new and familiar. She had even gotten a job teaching art at a local community center.

This, was how she had come across a group of children in the center’s playroom jeering at a small girl with curly black hair.

“Hey!” she called their attention with her ‘teacher’ voice. “Leave her alone. How would you like it if someone picked on you?” she received a medley of mumbled replies, the children’s eyes of the floor. “I don’t wanna see it again. Disperse.” They all ran off in different directions, leaving Lucy to kneel down beside the girl, who was crying into her knees. “You okay, sweetie?”

“I want my mama!” she whimpered.

“She’ll be here to pick you up soon.”

“No she won’t! She’s dead! She died when I came; they said she wanted to get away from me!”

“Oh, sweetie I’m sure that’s not true.” The girl whimpered and placed her head back on her knees. “….I don’t have a mother either.”

“….You don’t?” she looked up, sniffing and rubbing her eyes. “Where is she?”

“In heaven, along with my baby brother.” Lucy informed. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t talk to her; I tell her everything.” Indeed, Lucy had formed quite a strong relationship with what she imagined her mother to be. Childish fantasy, sure, maybe, but it was nice to have one parent she could actually talk to. “I know she hears me.”

“How?”

“Because that’s what angels do.”

“Your mama’s an angel?” the girl’s gray blue eyes lit up in wonder. Lucy smiled fondly, half at the girl’s innocence, half at the memory of a similar pair of blue eyes.

“Mmhm. Yours is too. They live all the way up in a secret place in the clouds! And they watch over us to make sure we’re alright. And sometimes they send messages to us! You have to listen really well though. But they always try again. Just in case we’ve missed it.”

The girl smiled at her, the only sign of her previous mood the red rings that lingered around her eyes. “What’s your name?”

“Lucy.” She smiled at the girl. “Lucy Collins.”

“I’m Casey! Casey Cooke!”

Chapter Text

Lucy stayed close to Casey throughout the years. When her father died, it had been Lucy’s arms Casey had run into. Lucy hadn’t known Mr. Cooke for very long, but she had liked and respected the man. He was a good father, and never once allowed his daughter to feel responsible for taking her mother out of the world the day she had come into it.

That was perhaps the most sensitive topic for the poor girl. Despite Lucy’s best efforts, it came up more often than not in Casey’s bullying. The dark-haired girl found comfort in the art room the same why Lucy had when she was a child, however. Lucy would do her best not to play favorites, but it had become quite obvious.

Lucy didn’t like Casey’s uncle, and the feeling was mutual. John reminded her too much of her father, and he didn’t seem like the best caretaker either. Casey had always been a rather shy and skittish girl, but it seemed to increase to an uncomfortable degree the longer she lived with her uncle.

Casey was fifteen when the arts department at her high school was dissolved entirely. Because people made a fuss however, the school partnered with the community center to still have the option for art and music classes. The only difference was that they weren’t the ones footing the bill.

Lucy liked teaching art, but found Casey’s high school class insufferable. Had she been this irritating as a teenager? Perhaps she had just spent too much time with Munch and Finn; who would much rather trade sarcasm and arguments between the three of them than act like proper adults.

Still, the older group presented a new challenge to her, and Lucy dove in head first.

Almost three years later, and she thought she was doing rather well. These teens were a lot less single minded than she recalled being, but then again, she had been a special case. It was a warm Friday afternoon when she had taken them to the Philadelphia zoo and challenged them to draw the animals and the habitats around them. And, she just really wanted to see the zoo’s new baby penguins.

As she was paying more attention to the birds than she probably should have been, she failed to notice two of her students wondering off.

She turned at the sound of laughter, catching them just as they ran away from a very flustered looking employee. His face was read and whatever the girls had done had clearly upset him. His eyes were darting all over the place, but they finally froze on Lucy’s.

‘I love you…’

‘No! Dennis! Dennis don’t let her take me!’

‘And you are the first and only person who is ever gonna hear me say that.’

‘Dennis please!’

The voice of the scared little girl echoing in her ears, Lucy paled and reached out to steady herself against the metal fence surrounding the penguin enclosure. No. Nononononono. She had finally put that behind her, why did it have to come back now?!

Lucy shut her eyes and focused on her breathing. Using the hand that wasn’t white knuckling the black metal, she tapped the pad of her thumb against each of her fingertips in turn, repeating the process steadily over and over. Dr. Wong had called it grounding; if she found a way to bring her mind back to the present, the haunting memories of her PTSD could not keep hold of her.

It wasn’t working though. In other situations, when a certain sound, sight, or smell would remind her of her childhood Dr. Wong’s tactic would calm her down. For some reason however, this stranger’s eyes had triggered her harder than anything else ever had.

Then again, they had borne a rather striking resemblance.

******
Lucy stared up at the brownstone building with a frown on her face. She very much did not want to be here. She didn’t understand how Dr. Wong had managed to use his magic ability of getting her to face her issues from several states away, but here she was, outside of the residence of a therapist in the area he had recommended.

She had to hand it to him, the man was good at his job.

Huffing and cursing the doctor under her breath, she trudged into the building and made her way up the stairs. She paused outside of Dr. Fletcher’s door, her hand raised to knock, once again debating bailing on her appointment. Before she could however, the door swung open and she was face-to-face with a tall man in a red overcoat and a beanie.

“Oh! Sorry!” he apologized, just as startled by the sudden meeting as she was. “Dr. Fletcher, I think your next appointment’s here!” he called over his shoulder.

“Ms. Collins? Yes, do come in.” the old woman called from inside the apartment.

“Don’t worry.” The man smiled at her, sensing her hesitation. “Dr. Fletcher’s the best. She’s such a sweet woman.”

Lucy smiled nervously at him, his eyes, his smile, and about a million other things setting off the alarms in her head. He stepped to the side to allow her to enter, and shut the door behind him as he left. Lucy immediately collapsed in one of the armchairs in the room, panting as though she had just been underwater.

“My my. You look a little worse for wear dear.” Dr. Fletcher’s voice drew her out of her thoughts. Lucy looked up at the old woman who was setting a cup of tea down for her on the table, taking the chair across from her.

“Thank you.” She said in a quiet voice, picking up the cup and sipping from it. Lavender, she noted. Yet another one of the calming techniques she’d been taught over the years.

“You’re quite welcome dear.” The older woman gave her a small smile. “Now, I know this is our first session together, but you seemed rather upset coming in here. Is there any particular reason why?” Lucy didn’t answer, staring down at the stray tea leaves in the cup held tightly in her hands. “Alright.” She nodded. “Why don’t, we just start with how you’re feeling right now?”

Again, Lucy did not want to answer, but she knew from experience that bottling herself up like this wasn’t good for her. “….Lost, I guess.” She said after a long moment. “Sort of…empty….”

“Empty?” Dr. Fletcher prompted.

“Like….Like everything that made me….me….it was all just torn away.”

“What exactly was torn away?”

Lucy idly wondered if the person who had taught this woman her craft was the same person who’d taught Dr. Wong; they both seemed to know their way around probing but not demanding questions. “When I was fifteen….my, best friends were murdered.” She admitted. “We did everything together. They were all I had. Then one day just….poof.”

“They left?” the doctor raised an eyebrow.

Lucy scoffed out a laugh, and shook her head. She couldn’t help it. “It’s a lot more complicated than that, Doc…..”

*******
Late that night, Lucy came home to her apartment and was greeted with a face full of golden retriever.

“Hey Brucie.” She smiled, scratching her dog’s ears. As Lucy didn’t do alone very well, her dog Bruce helped to cut through the silence her apartment trapped her in in the evenings. The pup trotted loyally by her side as she made her way into the small kitchen to make dinner.

Setting her plate down on the table, and putting out Bruce’s food for him, Lucy didn’t even notice she’d set a second place at the table until she sat down.

She sighed, staring mournfully at the empty chair. Bruce, sensing his master’s distress, looked up in concern.

“It’s okay, Bruice.” Lucy smiled, albeit a little sadly. “Wherever they are, I know they’re still looking out for me.” She looked back to the empty spot. “Least one of us kept our promise…”

Lucy continued to see Dr. Fletcher in the months that followed, and she thought she was doing rather well. She wasn’t as comfortable with the woman as she was with Dr. Wong, so she hadn’t told her full story yet, but she was getting there. And Dr. Fletcher had this wonderful way of helping her work through her problems without even knowing what her problems were.

Lucy really thought she ought to look more into the art of psychology, but something told her that would lessen the impact it had on her.

As the last chill of winter finally began to thaw into spring, Lucy failed to keep track of the actual date. Which was probably why she was surprised when Casey – who usually stayed after her class had been dismissed when she could – placed a pink bakery box on her desk.

“Happy birthday.” The shy girl said in a voice only slightly louder than the one she addressed the world with.

The art teacher gave her a strange look before going over the calendar in her head. Today was April 3^rd, her birthday was April 4^th. Tomorrow was Friday however, and as the school did not have any classes with the community center then, she would not see the girl.

“You remembered.”

“Of course I did.” Casey gestured to the box on her desk. “The cupcake’s red velvet; I know it’s your favorite…”

Lucy, noticing the telltale signs of her friend closing in on herself, smiled at her and wound an arm around her shoulders. “Thank you, my little Casey.” She said, planting a kiss on the top of the girl’s head.

The corners of Casey’s lips turned upwards in the smallest of smiles. She liked the nickname Lucy had given her. The go to always seemed to be ‘Casey-bear’ for some reason; a name which had far too many memories attached to it, both good and bad. ‘My little Casey’ was something that was exclusively Lucy and only had good memories and feelings attached to it.

“Are you going to Claire’s party this weekend?” she asked, hoping she didn’t have to wait until the school had another class at the community center to see her friend again.

“Are you?” Lucy raised a surprised eyebrow.

Casey shrugged. “Something to do. Free food is free food, no matter the company.”

That got her a laugh. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I dunno what it is about Claire and Marcia…I hate them?” she offered idly, getting a grin out of her friend. “I mean, I know I play favorites, but those two seem a bit more irritating than the rest of your class.”

“I think it’s the money.” Casey informed. “The easier things are for you, the more you take the world for granted.”

“Quite right too. The world does love being a double edged sword.”

******

It wasn’t until late that night, after the sun had set, that Lucy finally opened the small pink bakery box.

Her apartment was dark as she struck a match and lit the small blue candle that Casey had put into the cupcake. She knelt down by the table, resting her chin on her folded arms, and studied the flame.

“Another banner year.” She remarked to herself. Watching the candle flicker a moment, she paused just as she was about to blow it out. Leaning forwards had caused her necklace to clink against the table, and she stopped to look down at it.

Cradling the curved metal in her hand, she ran the pad of her thumb over the engraving that had long since lost the black paint that emphasized the letters. She looked at it sadly for a moment before her eyes flickered up to the candle again.

Without a second thought, she blew out the flame.

******
Halfway across town, a pair of dark blue eyes behind rectangular glasses snapped open.

Chapter Text

Not having any classes to teach that day, Lucy found herself in the local park come afternoon.

She liked to people watch. She could make up stories about the people, draw a scene she found particularly interesting, and use her knack of being a wallflower to her advantage. Once again, she was invisible.

“This seat taken?”

Lucy looked up from her sketch pad with a start. Standing in front of her was the man in the overcoat and beanie from Dr. Fletcher’s office.

“….All yours.” She said once she managed to find her voice. The man smiled at her and took the place next to her on the bench.

“What’re you drawing?” he asked pleasantly, leaning over to get a look.

Lucy instinctively held the pad close to her chest. “Just some of the people around.”

“What’s so interesting about them?” his tone seemed to darken slightly as his eyes surveyed the carefree patrons of the park.

“It’s not really about them.”

“It’s not?” his gazed returned to her, an eyebrow raised in question.

Lucy shrugged. “Well I’ve never met any of them. It’s not about what they are, it’s about what I as the artist see them as?”

“Naïve?” he offered.

“Innocent.” She corrected, her voice far away as she watched children running around the playground.

“…..You’re that woman from Dr. Fletcher’s office, right?” the man’s voice drew her out of her thoughts. “I remember seeing you when you came for your appointment.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m Lucy.”

“….Barry.” he held out a hand, which she shook.

“Nice to meet you Barry.” Lucy gave him a small smile. “You were right about Dr. Fletcher. She really is lovely.”

“Yeah, she is….”

“Are you okay?” she asked, cocking her head to the side as she studied him.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Barry frowned.

“Nothing, it’s just….you look sad.” Barry’s  eyes fell down to his hands in his lap. “Are you okay?” Lucy repeated. “And, don’t just, say you are, because I know what that means, looking sad when you think no one can see you.”

“You can see me.” He countered.

Lucy shrugged. “I don’t count.”

Barry was silent a moment before he sighed. “It’s nothing, really. I just….I had a friend called Lucy once. Long time ago.”

“Oh.” She said, all too aware how much the simplest reminder could hurt. “I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault….” He trailed off, fidgeting with something around his wrist. Lucy’s eyes followed it and saw the braided black leather bracelet he was wearing.

‘I wasn’t sure if you really had a birthday, so I just grouped it with Kevin’s’

Lucy shook herself mentally. Something was off; she had been running into these triggers a lot more often than usual.

“You know, whenever I was upset, my friends would take me out stargazing.” She remarked. She wasn’t really sure why, but something in her was reaching out to this man, wanting to find some way to comfort him.

“You, wanna show me the stars?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Well I mean, we could meet up here again tonight, i-if you wanted.”

“Yes, Lucy.” He smiled at her, and it looked far more genuine this time. “I will look at the stars with you.”

“Great.” Lucy smiled back at him, fiddling with her necklace.

******
The two talked for a while longer before they parted ways until the evening. Barry had stuttered a reason to leave and had done so rather abruptly, making Lucy doubt he’d return for their stargazing session.

Down several blocks and well out of her eyesight and earshot, her companion ducked into an alley and pulled the beanie off his head, running a hand over his shaved hair.

“What do you think you’re doing Dennis, you’re supposed to be keeping an eye on those girls for tomorrow!”

Eyebrows bunched together, Barry – Dennis – paced the alley, clearly distressed.

“Dennis!”

“You’re telling me you didn’t see it Patricia?” He finally spoke, appearing to be talking to himself as there was no one else physically there. “The drawings, the stars, her eyes – god her eyes Patricia!”

“Our plans can not be put on hold simply because a pretty face has turned your head!” the British voice snapped.

“She’s not just a pretty face! Patricia, I think….i-it was Lucy! Our Lucy!”

****

Lucy slung her bag over her shoulder as she kicked the door to her car shut behind her. The car was, ironically, a late model BMW with faded orange paint. It had been a gift from Munch after she had legally obtained her license. He’d thought it was funny.

Emerald eyes took a moment to look upwards as she lingered on the curb. After her first night sleeping under them, stars had always been soothing to Lucy. She wasn’t sure if it was the lingering feeling of relief after finally getting out of the closet, or if it was just the scene picture the night sky always painted; a feeling she’d never been able to copy in her drawings. She supposed such a feeling wasn’t meant to be preserved, but rather savored.

Shaking herself out of the dark spiral of her thoughts, Lucy stepped away from her car and crossed the park to the bench she had occupied earlier that day. Setting her bag down next to her as she sat, she bent her head back to observe the sky. For the first time in a while, none of her anxiety, none of her PTSD clouded her mind. The only darkness was the expanse above her.

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there, but she was eventually broken out of her daze by the voice of a ghost saying her name.

“Lucy.”

Lucy’s head snapped up so quickly she almost gave herself whiplash. That accent, that voice, it wasn’t possible!

She blinked. “Oh. Hullo Barry.” She gave him a small smile. He looked different than the previous times she’d seen him; his coat and beanie traded out for an ironed gray shirt and a pair of rectangle glasses. She found the change odd, but didn’t question it.

His smile seemed a little stiff. “Hello. May I?” he nodded to the place on the bench beside her.

“Course.” Lucy shifted her bag to the ground by her feet and Barry sat down next to her.

“It’s a beautiful night.”

“Night’s always beautiful.” Her eyes returned to the sky.

“You like stars?”

“Mm. I never knew what it was but….they just make me feel peaceful.”

Had she taken her eyes off the stars, she would have noticed that her companion’s eyes were on her rather than the sky. Dennis felt torn. He didn’t know if Lucy remembered them – he didn’t even know if this was their Lucy. The peaceful feeling that he recalled all those years ago however, the one that came with knowing he was sitting next to someone who cared for Kevin, cared for him, he could feel it in her presence now. It was likely the nostalgia – her name, her features, the way she talked about the stars…..Even if this wasn’t Lucy, he wanted to hold on to the feeling he had missed so desperately.

Patricia’s harsh voice pulled at the edges of his mind and the feeling was suddenly gone. Lucy would be disgusted with them. She’d be disgusted with him, with him and all his perversions. With what he was planning to do when the sun rose. Lucy had always been kind, gentle. The only person he’d ever seen her hurt was Kevin’s mother, and that had been to protect him.

“Look! A shooting star!” her voice pulled him from his thoughts.

His eyes flickered upwards just in time to see the line of light whoosh across the sky. “You should make a wish.” The grin that had been on her face at spotting the shooting star faded slowly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s just…..it’s funny…..today was my birthday.” She informed. “And one of my art students got me this little cupcake with a candle. I actually, made a wish. That I didn’t have to be alone on my birthday.” She smiled at him. “Then you turned up. So I think you get this one.”

‘Make a wish.’ A small voice echoed across his thoughts from long ago. A time back before his head was so crowded.

“I wish the world was just me and you.”

A confused look crossed Lucy’s face, and before she could respond something sprayed in her face and everything went black.

Chapter Text

Lucy’s eyes snapped open and the first thing she noticed was that her head hurt. A lot.

“You were makin’ noises in your theep.”

Blearily, Lucy sat up and turned to the source of the sound. There, now in a blue and yellow jumpsuit, was Barry. It took a moment for her brain to catch up to the current time, and once it did she was reeling with so many emotions and questions that it made her head hurt all the more.

“What’s wrong?” he got up from his position on the floor and came to sit next to her when he saw her wince. “Did you thave a bad dream?”

“Where I am?” Lucy muttered.

“Ith okay Lucy, you’re home. You’re thafe.”

Taking a moment to glance around her surroundings, Lucy was very certain this wasn’t her home. In fact, she’d never been here before. It was odd though, because the room was tailored almost exactly to her preferences; the walls were painted a sunset orange, there were galaxy posters hanging from the ceiling, and the bed she found herself sitting on was soft and squishy with a bedspread of purple paisleys.

“Here! Alfred can make you theel better!” a very old teddy bear was shoved into her chest. “I brought him thepcial for you!”

Her fingers curled around matted fuzz and her heart stalled.

Lucy hadn’t had many toys growing up; only a small line to guard the foot of her bed. Her father liked to get smashy when he was drunk sometimes, and his rampaging would sometimes lead him into her room while she was at school.

A tiny teddy bear with black bead eyes and a ribbon tied around his neck was the only toy that had escaped unscarred. Lucy wasn’t sure where he had come from, but he had been one of the few things she’d taken with her when she moved into the abandoned apartment. Just like the rest of her belongings, he had been left behind when the social worker had first taken her away.

But here he was in her hands. She wasn’t sure how, but she knew that this was her Alfred.

“H-How did you get this?” she looked up at the man.

“I took it from your room afta the mean lady took you away. Mr. Dennith thaid we couldn’t thay there, but I wanted thomething to keep you clothe.”

Alfred, Dennis, the mean lady that took her away. It didn’t matter how crazy this guy was, there was no way he could know all these things about her and her friends.

Something she’d buried deep in her heart pulled at her. No. It wasn’t possible. She’d stopped chasing clues that weren’t there in an attempt to prove her friends were still alive a long time ago, it couldn’t be, it just couldn’t!

“….H-Hedwig?”

His entire face lit up like the sun. “You do remember! I told him you would!”

Overcome with emotions that were swirling around far too fast for her to name, she threw her arms around the nine year old boy, who quickly reappropriated the embrace.

“I-I thought I’d never seen any of you again! I-I thought she killed you!” her voice came out in a shaky whisper that was at the same time broken and relived.

“She hurt uth real bad and we ran away.” Hedwig informed. “We couldn’t find you, we didn’t know where to look.”

“Hedwig, I never stopped fighting to get back to you. It’s just when I finally did…..” her voice cracked and she held him tighter.

“I mithed you Lucy….”

“I missed you too buddy.” She pulled back and wiped her eyes. “What about the others? Kevin, Dennis, Trisha, are they okay?”

“They’re thleepin.’” He tapped his temple. “I thole the light from Mr. Dennith. I wanted ta thee you.”

Lucy smiled at the boy. Even after all these years, he was just as she remembered him. Innocent, single minded, open, and full of love and sweetness he’d readily give to anyone who accepted it.

Her smile turned into a bit of a smirk seconds before she shoved at his shoulder. “You’re it!” she exclaimed, taking off down the hall.

Hedwig’s face lit up and Lucy could hear his laughter echoing off the walls as he chased after her.

She’d worry about all her unanswered questions later, she decided. For now, she just wanted to play with her friend.

****

In many ways, one would think no time at all had passed and that the two people chasing each other throughout the night were still ten-year-old children. Lucy still jumped on Hedwig’s back when she caught him, sending them both toppling to the floor. Hedwig’s drawings – which he showed to her as eagerly as ever -- all still featured the blonde in some way; as a princess, a superhero, or even just as herself.

They even collapsed in exhaustion the same way, sharing the bed Lucy had awoken in several hours earlier. Hedwig curled into her side, letting out a content hum as Lucy’s arms wrapped around him. In no time at all, they were both out.

Lucy was still fast asleep when blue eyes opened to look upon her, but there was a different person behind them now.

Dennis softly traced his fingertips over Lucy’s face, as though if he pressed too hard she’d disappear. Indeed, it was hard to believe she was actually right next to him, wrapped safely in his arms where she belonged. The thought made him pull his hand away; he had failed her. He’d promised to protect her and he had failed her. He could still see the image of her kicking and screaming as she was pulled out the hospital doors all those years ago, crying his name in a desperate plea. He could still see her tear-stained face every time he closed his eyes.

Suddenly finding himself unable to look at her without a sickly feeling in his stomach, Dennis turned his eyes to his surroundings. Patricia had given him a few sad looks and heartbroken words, not thinking setting up the room to be a good idea, but she’d still taken the time to make sure there were fresh flowers in the vase on the bedside table every week. Roses. Orange ones.

Orange was Lucy’s favorite color, or at least it had been when they were children. After escaping her horrible father she’d taken quite a shine to what she called the ‘art of nature.’ The blend of colors in a sunset, the shapes the stars made at night. Dennis had made sure everything was tailored exactly to her liking; he had done similar in every home they’d had over the years. He wanted there to always be a place for Lucy for when she came home to them. Wishful thinking, yeah maybe, but it was better than admitting to himself that he’d likely never see her again.

Things had changed after that social worker had taken her. Without Lucy to pull him out of his shell, Kevin retreated from the world entirely. He never came into the light nowadays, not being able to face the cruelness of the world without Lucy by his side. The rest of them hadn’t been much better. Hedwig had spent a solid two weeks throwing fits every time no one would answer his question of where Lucy was. He firmly believed she’d be sitting next to them at school the next day and was too naive to understand why she wasn’t there.

Patricia had closed in on herself. As the only female in Kevin’s head at the time, she and Lucy had formed a very strong bond based on the faith they all had in the girl. Without Lucy around, there wasn’t much to have faith in. With state everyone was in, it fell to Dennis to take care of everyone. Not that he wasn’t used to that; he was the protector after all, he was Kevin’s first line of defense. Taking care of things was different this time however because he had to ignore the fact he was falling apart just as much if not more than the others.

Lucy had been his everything. She had been the first person other than him that Kevin could trust. She took everything in stride; never once making him feel bad for his habits or for having another person in his head. While had liked her from the start, he had been certain that Kevin telling her about him would end the friendship entirely, he’d even advised against it. By then though Kevin had already thought the world of Lucy. He trusted her enough to reveal his deepest secrets and Lucy had merely smiled, saying how glad she was to have two friends now.

Lucy had always been very small due to her lack of nourishment growing up, but she protected Kevin without a second thought and when she discover his existence she wanted nothing more than to protect him as well. And she had; Dennis’ eyes ran down the slim silver line that was still present on her left cheek.

With time, more personalities had developed to help Kevin along his life. They’d all heard the stories about Lucy but they did not share the connection he, Patricia and the boy did with her. Loosing her had left the three of them so damaged that they took a back seat in Kevin’s mind. They hadn’t been left into the light in years and the only reason they had come out now was because Hedwig had stolen the light from Barry.

Dennis wondered how Lucy would react to all the new people that had come into existence since she’d been taken from them, but the thought was quickly dismissed. He didn’t want to share her. The others didn’t like them much; they could push Lucy away, turn her against them. His arms tightened around the small woman. He wouldn’t let that happen. He wasn’t going to lose her again.

Feeling his hold on her tighten, Lucy stirred. She blinked sleepily into the dark room lit only by the nightlight that had been Hedwig’s addition to her room. Even in the dim lighting he could still see the sparkle of her emerald colored eyes as they found his own.

“….Dennis?”

“Hey Lu….” He gave her a small smile, his throat a little tight. She had recognized him so easily; she was the only one who had ever noticed the subtle differences that came with each shift in who had the light.

“Hey.” She said, her voice half masked by a yawn. “Good to see you. Missed you…” she snuggled herself into his chest, still half asleep.

“I missed you too.” He held her a second longer before surrendering to Patricia’s voice in his head saying how she needed to eat and how she surely had a million question. “Don’t be fallin’ asleep on me again. Trish’ll have my head if I don’t get you some breakfast.”

“Trisha?” Lucy looked up at the mention of the woman. “She’s okay?”

“Yeah, she’s okay.” He assured. “We’re all okay. We’re safe here.”

That wasn’t entirely the truth. The years had taken their toll and it was unlikely Patricia would fall back into her old patterns with Lucy the way Hedwig had. She had been so subdued for so long. And Kevin….well Dennis wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to come into the light again, even with Lucy by his side.

But he didn’t tell her any of this. It wasn’t about them, it was about her. Dennis had to keep her safe, and that meant keeping her here. He didn’t want to say anything that might make her worry, might make her want to leave.

She’d be safe here. At least until the Beast came.

Chapter Text

Lucy Collins was, in many ways still a child. A lack of proper nurture growing up had skewed her development, leaving her lacking the ability to think things out fully the way adults did.

Sure, she didn't see the world as sunshine and rainbows like an actual kid. She did however see it from a very small prospective, often forgetting other people's feelings, or forgetting that there was a world outside of her own personal bubble.

This could and had lead to some very bad situations, but to counteract it her brain had developed a sort of Jimmney Cricket voice in the back of her head. This voice both spoke and sounded like Dr. Wong. How did you end up here? What do you remember before coming here?

"Dennis?" she said, looking up from the over-easy eggs he had made for her.

"Mm?" he hummed offhandedly, carefully removing the shell from his hard-boiled egg.

"Where are we? The last thing I remember was sitting with you in the park." she frowned. "Actually, I was there with...Barry?"

The relaxed posture her friend had had vanished immediately, and Lucy was surprised to see the stiffness that hadn't been present since they'd been young. Dennis had always been a closed off person, tense and mistrusting of the world, but around Lucy that had always faded away. Because he trusted her, didn't he?

"We, ah....A lot's happened, since we saw you last Luce." he said nervously as he smoothed out a nonexistent wrinkle on his pants. "Kevin didn't...he didn't really do well without you...."

"What happened?" Lucy sat her fork down on her plate and resisted the urge to move closer. "Is he okay?"

"Well, no. No, he's not." Dennis admitted. He wasn't quite sure how to tell her everything that had been going on, but he also knew that he didn't have it in him to lie to her. Still, he pulled off his glasses and used a cleaning cloth to wipe at a smudge that wasn't there so as to avoid looking her in the eye. "After you left, he kind of shut down. Patricia, the kid and me, we tried to help but...." he sighed and shook his head. "The more he pulled away from the world...the more people came into existence to try and help him..."

Lucy paused as it sunk in exactly what he was saying. "....How many?"

"Twenty-three in total, including me." Dennis informed, choosing to omit the detail of the 24th alter that was slowly coming to be.

Unaware of the storm brewing in her friends' shared mind, Lucy held a hand to her mouth in shock as tears of pity pooled in her eyes. She wasn't stupid; she knew that Kevin's alters only came to be in harsh, painful conditions that no one should ever have to go through. She had borrowed enough medical journals from Dr. Wong through out the years, attempting to understand the complex mental traumas within her own head and the world around her. Split personalities were fairly common, but 23 of them?

"....I'm sorry...." she said after a long moment, feeling rather foolish for it, but not knowing what else to say.

"Not your fault." Dennis shrugged, putting his glasses back on and pushing them up his nose. He chanced a look at her and felt his heart break a little at the tears in her eyes. Sweet Lucy Collins. The only person in the world who'd ever cry over them.

Too late, he felt the familiar tug of Hedwig stealing the light away from him. The boy had seen Lucy crying and had instantly become worried. "Don't cry Luce...." the boy pleaded, reaching out and taking her hand across the table.

Lucy looked up at him, having sensed the shift in the air. She smiled and wiped at her eyes with her free hand. "I'm fine Hedwig." she assured. "I'm just sad that you had to go through all the pain you did all these years."

"But it's gonna be okay now!" he said, squeezing on her hand. "He's gonna protect us! He's gonna make sure no one ever makes fun of me ever again. And now that you're here he can protect you too!"

"What are you talking about? Who's he?"

Hedwig's smile slipped and he looked down nervously. "I'm not thuposed ta thay."

"Hedwig...."

"No!" he exclaimed. "I'm gonna get in trouble!"

"Okay, okay! Calm down." Lucy laced her fingers with his and felt the tension slowly slip away. "If you don't wanna talk about it, we don't have to." she assured. "....How about you tell me what you've been up to? I'm sure you've gotten even better at drawing your pictures."

This had the desired effect, as Hedwig lit up and nodded. "Yeah! I just got a whole new box of crayons! They're in my room, come'on you can meet my hamsters!"

******

As a child Lucy had gotten very good at working around the triggers that could set off Kevin and his alters. She had figured out early on that pushing too hard on the wrong things would make them lash out or close up entirely, cutting off any growth into their relationship. Apparently this was a basic psychiatry trick; working slowly towards the issues as opposed to jumping into the deep end.

Despite these behaviors, Lucy could still hear the Wong Cricket voice in her head telling her that something was wrong and needed to be addressed. The voice was in the back of her head however, drowned out by her humming along to the music Hedwig had playing.

"Watcha drawin'?"

"It's a window." Lucy informed, holding up the paper that featured a blue sky. "I figured this place could use one. See?" she held the bottom edge of the paper. "This one's closed, and this one's open. Closed, open." she made a show of flipping the paper up and down to show the second drawing below.

"Cool!" Hedwig exclaimed, his grin as bright as the sun. "Can I hang it on my wall?"

"Sure." Lucy smiled at him.

He jumped up, dropping the purple crayon in his hand as he did. Lucy giggled as she watched him dig through the drawers of his dresser, mumbling something about poster tack. Her eyes wandered to the drawing that he had been working on. Frowning slightly, she spun it around to see it properly.

A large black something with red eyes and sharp teeth was chasing after a group of stick figures. It had one in it's hand, dangerously close to those teeth. On his far shoulder, a purple stick figure with a triangle dress and blonde hair was along for the ride.

****

While a part of Lucy very much wanted to simply dissolve into the childish behavior she shared with Hedwig, a much bigger part was very aware that she was not nine years old anymore. She had responsibilities. She had a job.

There weren’t any actual windows in this place her old friends called home, but Lucy knew she had to be back at the community center on Monday, and she had been hoping to make it to Claire’s party on Saturday, though if her guesstimation of the passage of time was correct she had already missed it.

“Hedwig, do you know if the city bus runs by here? I have to get home.”

“You are home, thilly.” He said, not looking up from the package of hotdogs he was trying to open.

“No, Hedwig I live in an apartment on Jefferson Ave. I gotta go, I have a dog to feed, lesson plans to make, bills to pay. Responsibilities, etc.”

Hedwig crinkled his nose at her. “Well Mr. Dennis and Ms. Patricia said that you’re a part of the big plan now and you’re gonna thtay with uth and help take care of Kevin like you used to. Etc.” he threw her last word back at her with a particular ‘so there’ tone.

“What ‘big plan’?” Lucy mimicked his look. “What are you talking about?” Adopting a fish-out-of-water expression, Hedwig suddenly the buttons on the microwave very interesting. “…..Hedwig?” Lucy probed, suddenly getting a very bad gut feeling.

“Mr. Dennis says I’m not thpothed to tell you.”

“Why?”

“Cuz!” he exclaimed, clearly not wanting to say more.

“Hedwig, tell me what’s going on.” Lucy said in her ‘teacher voice’

“No! I don’t want you to leave!” he finally turned to look at her, eyes rimmed with tears.

Lucy heart broke a little and she struggled to keep her nerve. She loved Hedwig, but her instincts were telling her that something was wrong here. If she had to step on her friend’s feelings to figure out what, so be it. “Hedwig, you’re not going to lose me.” She assured. “I already thought you and the others were gone once, I can’t go through that again. But I’m not nine years old anymore. I need you to tell me what’s going on.”

“No….” he whimpered. “Don’t make me…..”

“Hedwig –”

Lucy was cut off by the shift in Kevin’s body. A shudder and twitch move that she knew all too well; someone new had taken the light.

“You really shouldn’t pressure the poor boy, you know.” A light British accent spoke. “He only wants to have you with him like old times.”

“….Trisha….”

“Hello again Lucy. My, look how you’ve grown.”

The corner of Lucy’s mouth twitched upwards despite herself. “Age becomes you as well.”

Patricia scoffed, a soft smile on her lips. “Ever the sweetheart. I must say, I’m quite pleased we ran into you again. Especially now. It must be a sign.”

“A sign of what, Trish? I don’t understand.”

“Oh, sweet Lucy Collins.” The other woman stepped forward and took her hands in her own. “So pure, yet still so innocent. You’ll understand in time.”

“Patricia –”

“Shh shh.” Patricia pressed a finger to her lips. “The situation is rather…delicate, you see.” She pulled her in the direction of the hall. “Come, it will be easier to show you.”

Baffled, Lucy let herself be pulled along. Patricia led her around a corner she hadn’t turned before and stopped at one of the doors. This door looked like any other in this strange bunker of a home; steel, heavy, and worn-looking. The only difference was the heavy padlock sealing it shut. Her friend produced a set of keys from her pocket and released her hand to put one into the lock.

The door creaked open; Lucy peered around it and froze.

“M-Ms. Collins?” Marcia was the first to recover, blinking at their art teacher in confusion.

“M-Marica, Claire – Casey, what are you doing here?”

“You know them?” Patricia questioned curiously.

“T-They take my art class at the community center. Trish, I don’t understand, what’s going on?”

“Ms. Collins, please, you have to help us!” Claire begged, latching onto the older woman’s arm. “This guy kidnapped us from my party – he’s gonna kill us; he’s crazy!”

“Now now.” Patricia stepped between the two, forcing Claire’s grip from Lucy with an anger that didn’t match her tone. “Mustn’t touch what we aren’t worthy to.”

“Patricia what are they talking about?” Lucy demanded, forcing her voice to keep steady.

“You needn’t listen to them dear. They’re inconsequential; simply here to serve as sacred food for his arrival.”

Before Lucy could ask what that meant, Claire bolted for the door, which had been left open. The growl that came from her friend bordered on animalistic as she ran after the blonde, shutting the door behind her with a heavy thud. The ‘click’ as she did so confirmed that it had locked itself upon shutting, and it was this small noise that finally allowed Lucy’s panic to get the better of her. She ran forward and threw herself against the steel, banging on it futilely.

“….Lucy?” a soft whisper of her name broke her from her state as she spun around. Casey had finally spoken. The poor girl looked terrified. Not that the other two hadn’t, but it was deeper on Casey. Her little Casey, her favorite student whom Lucy saw more of herself in than was probably a good thing. She looked between her and Marica, who was also scared out of her mind. Marica had always been a little timid; really only following after Claire like a lost puppy. At that moment Lucy wished she had something helpful to say to the scared teenagers looking to her for guidance, but she found herself coming up short.

Think think think. She told herself. What would Oliva do?

Steeling herself and standing to her full height; which frankly wasn’t all that much taller than them, she held her arms out. “Come’re.” the girls immediately ran towards the offered comfort. Lucy held them tightly, trying her very best to appear stronger than she felt. “I’ll get us out of here somehow. I promise, just – just try and stay calm okay? This’ll go a lot smoother if we keep our heads. I....I'll tell you when I hear something that makes sense....”

Chapter Text

Lucy had never functioned well in a confined space. She vastly preferred being outside to being indoors, and found it difficult to breathe in closed areas that lacked windows. Locking the the only exit to a windowless room only increased her anxiety and flashbacks to her traumatic childhood.

Patrica knew this, though unfortunately had forgotten to take it into account when the impure girl escaped. She had shut the door behind her without thinking and it didn't occur to her until after locking that little brat in a separate room the situation she had left her friend in.

She returned to the original holding cell to find Lucy slouched in uncomfortable-looking position on the concrete floor in front of the cots that had been laid out for the girls. All three of the room's occupants were asleep.

Patrica could feel Dennis' protectiveness before he even reached for the light, grumbling to himself about the dirty floor, but bending down to scoop up Lucy anyway. She shifted in his arms as he balanced her bridal-style, her face screwing up slightly as though she was having an unpleasant dream.

"Shh, shh. It's okay." He whispered, his voice uniquely free of its usual tension. "I'm not gonna let anything hurt you."

Apart from Kevin, Dennis had taken Lucy's departure in their lives the hardest. Hedwig and Patrica were both attached to the girl, but to Dennis Lucy Collins had hung the moon. As the first of Kevin's personalities and his designated protector, it would be quite the understatement to say that Dennis carried a lot of pressure on his shoulders, as well as a lot of trauma the others could never comprehend.

Lucy somehow managed to make all that evaporate when he was in her presence. When it came to her, he didn't need the walls he had spent a lifetime building. He didn't need to be the protector.

Well no. That was a lie....

"Dennis! Dennis don't let her take me! Dennis please!"

Dennis shook the haunting memories from his head. Even all these years later, nightmares of her still plagued him. Reaching for him. Pleading with him to save her.

Easy now, Dennis. Patrica said to him as he laid Lucy back in her own bed where she belonged. No need to relive the past any further. She's here now. Fate has finally smiled upon us, and brought to a sign of good faith for our day of reckoning.

"You really think the Beast will accept her?"

Of course he will. She is of the broken and therefore the pure. What better example of the ones he seeks to avenge and protect?

"You really think she'll accept him?"

That made her pause. Patrica was the alter of faith, but she was anything but naive. ....Lucy is innocent. She finally said. It's likely she won't see that this is what must be done. In the end however, she wants to protect Kevin just as much as we do.

Patrica sighed and leaned forward to brush the blond strands out of Lucy's face. The girl was a variable her original plan hadn't accounted for, but one she was more than willing to make adjustments on behalf of.

"She'll come around."

*******

For the second time in however many days it had been, Lucy was thrown off upon awakening. Her brain took a second to catch up with her as it had yet to properly process the recent happenings and was still half expecting the routine of her alarm going off and Bruce jumping on her, demanding to go out.

Okay, have to look at this logically. She told herself, channeling her inner Olivia Benson as she struggled to remember and sort out all the tips the SVU veterans had given her. Freaking out will only make this worse. These are your friends. They won't hurt you. They may have gone off the deep end, but they won't hurt you.

Unless provoked.

Shut up Wong.

Great, now she was talking to herself. Or, more accurately, to her voice of reason that had always sounded annoyingly like George Wong. Such a thing had used to be a comfort, but now it seemed her inner Wong was pulling his 'confronting unhealthy behaviors' shtick. She hated when the actual man did that, and she hated even more that he was good enough at his job that he had embedded it into her.

Because the fact was that he was probably right. Dennis, Patrica, and Hedwig did not seem entirely sane, not that they ever had been as they existed because of Kevin's trauma, but that wasn't the point. Oh god, Kevin. He was the last of the four she hadn't seen. She knew bad things tended to happen when he was out of the light for too long; the less of the world he allowed himself to take, the less he could handle. It had been years; Dennis had said there were nearly two dozen of them now.

Just how far gone was he?

Lucy's thoughts were interrupted when the door opened, Patrica coming in with a tray of food complete with a vase that had a fresh orange rose in it. "Ah, good you're awake." She smiled as she set the tray down on the nightstand. "Wouldn't want you to miss breakfast." It did not escape Lucy's notice that she had shut the door behind her and was now standing in front of it.

"Thank you Trisha...." she said, turning to the tray to see freshly made pancakes and orange juice waiting for her. There was a whipped cream smile on top that made her crack a smile in spite of herself.

"And — Lucy I-I had wanted to apologize as well. I didn't mean to lock you in with the other girls like I did. I know how you get in small spaces, I wasn't thinking."

Lucy blinked at her. There had been so much going on, she hadn't actually noticed the confinement that would usually suffocate her. Instead of addressing the apology, she chose another topic. "Can I talk to Kevin?"

Patrica was startled by the request, and stuttered over her answer. "Um, I-I'm sorry dear, I'm afraid Kevin is a bit....indisposed at the moment..."

"Why?" Lucy asked in a tone that said she was playing along, but didn't buy the excuse.

"Well..." Patrica sighed. "You have to understand darling, loosing you took a toll on him. And then surviving without you...." she shook her head. "I won't insult your intelligence, you understood how fragile he was, even when you were young. I'm afraid it's just gotten worse."

"I need to talk to him. There's something I need to tell him."

"Well tell me, and I'll make sure he gets the message."

"Okay." Lucy looked down a moment, wondering if this was the right line of conversation. Surely there were more pressing things to discuss. But now that she knew Kevin was alive after spending years thinking him dead, he had the right to know. So did the others. "Kevin's mother, she's in jail."

".....I, beg your pardon?"

"I put her there." Lucy informed, her confidence slowly returning at the thought. "When I finally made it back to Colorado, you were already gone, but she was still there. The police officer that helped me get back, she helped make a case with the local department. They put her away for the rest of her life. She can't hurt Kevin anymore. She can't hurt any of you ever again."

Patrica opened and closed her mouth several times, not having the words to respond. For a second, the woman before her didn't seem so different from the one that Lucy had tried on dresses with at the Goodwill when they were children.

Lucy could see a twitch of a shoulder and then someone new was behind those bluer than blue eyes.

"You really did that?" Dennis' Boston accent held a mixture of disbelief, desperation, and something else she couldn't name.

Lucy nodded. "I always said I wanted it to stop. When I saw...." a lump caught in her throat and she shook away the image of the large blood stain that had marred Mrs. Crumb's perfect carpet. "I thought she killed you. I wanted her to suffer." Lucy admitted. She could faintly hear the sound of Olivia's screaming mixed with her own as the older woman fought to pull her off of that monster.

"Lucy stop it!"

"She killed them, Liv! You were supposed to take are of them, you're his mother!"

"Lucy, calm down!"

"You killed them, you stole them from me!"

"....People don't understand what we've been through." Dennis finally said. "It isn't right, how unbalanced the world is."

"Is that why the girls from my art class are here?"

Dennis sighed, reaching to fidget with his glasses like he always when he was uncomfortable, only to remember they weren't there. ".....He's gonna do more than balance things Luce. He's gonna show them that we're stronger. Better than they are."

"Who is?"

"The Beast."

The Beast.

The strength of a bull. The skin of a rhinoceros. The teeth of a crocodile. The fearlessness of a lion.

Dennis spoke of this man, this creature, with a kind of terrified revere. It reminded Lucy of a Christian foster family she'd once stayed with; though they spoke of their God with respect and love, she could always tell that they were just a little bit scared of what those seemingly endless powers could do if turned against them. It was strange to see this in Dennis, whom Lucy had always known to be pessimistic, somewhat bitter person. It was also a little chilling to think that such a thing as this Beast could take over as an alter in Kevin's body.

Such simple fears were thrown out the window however, when it was revealed what part Casey and the other girls played in this.

"What?!" Lucy exclaimed, standing off her bed in shock.

"Lucy --"

"No, don't 'Lucy' me! You're talking about killing those girls, Dennis! A-About eating them!"

Dennis shifted, crossing his arms. "...The unpure are unworthy. Tainted. They serve no purpose but as sacred food for the Beast." His words came out stiff, rehearsed.

"How can you say that?! E-Killing innocent people to avenge the broken, h-how is that right? How is that justice?"

"Lucy...." Dennis sighed and stepped forward, reaching for her. He froze when she flinched away.

"H-How are you any better than them? People who hurt for the sake of hurting are the bad guys, remember?"

"Lucy." He said her name with surprise, betrayal written all of his features.

"D-Don't, please." Her voice shook as tears gathered in her eyes. "I know, you're not like that, so I'm asking you. Don't do this."

Dennis stared at her. Sweet, brilliant, kind, Lucy Collins. The girl who's smile had pulled Kevin out of his shell. The girl who hadn't batted an eye upon learning of his existence. Who'd stood by their side, loved them. Treated each and every one of them like they were real people as though it were the simplest thing in the world.

She looked terrified of them now. Of him. He'd made the one person that he loved pull away from him in fear.

He didn't feel the pull on the light until Patrica had already taken it. Lucy recognized the change, but made no move forward. "You've nothing to fear, dear." Patrica assured her. "The Beast is coming to protect the broken. He'd never hurt you."

Lucy shook her head. "It's not me I'm scared for."

Patrica heaved a tragic sigh. "I'm sorry you don't understand. But you will. Until then, I'm afraid I can't have you interfering."

She opened and shut the door faster than lighting. She could hear Lucy banging on it in protest as she locked it behind her.  "Trisha!" her name was shouted from the other side. "Trisha don't do this!"

"I'm sorry old friend."

"Trisha please! Trisha!"

******

Around the center of the underground hideout Kevin's alters called home there was an office set up with a very old computer. The computer did not connect to the internet, but it was were everyone stored their video journals. Folders with each of their names on the desktop screen held a few videos each; fewer for the alters that spent less time in the light.

In the bottom right corner however, there was a folder with a name that didn't match any of the people in Kevin's body. Lucy.

Only three of the alters and Kevin himself had actually known the girl before she'd been taken away, but they'd all heard the stories. A few had even been around to receive the letters she used to send from her various foster homes, consequentially learning more of this girl Kevin loved so much.

Patrica clicked on this folder after leaving Lucy in her room that night, scrolling through the messages everyone had left for her. Even for those she hadn't met, Lucy Collins had become something of a beacon of hope. It was nice to think that there was at least one person who cared about them, wherever she may be.

She clicked through a few. Jade talking about how much gossip she wished to share with Lucy. Hedwig showing the camera the new Mario Kart game he'd been saving to play with her. Even a more recent one, where Barry worried over the 'Horde' and wondered if having Lucy back would be able to tame them.

Scrolling through the alphabetical sorting, she finally found her own, dated over a year ago shortly after the Horde had taken over.

"Hello dear." Patrica smiled at the camera. "It's been quite a while, hasn't it. I'm afraid I've been out of the light for so long I hadn't even known the others were making these videos. I never knew they cared." the recording fiddled with the necklace she was wearing. "Barry even hid this away, once he dubbed himself in charge. The last trace we had of you, and he took that too when he banished us from the light. I don't know if Dennis told you, but he still can't find that bracelet you made him. The poor man. He won't say it, but I know how much that old thing means to him." she looked down at the silver charm around her neck, thumb stroking over the 'Batman' engraving. "You haven't met Barry, but he came not long after that social worker took you. He's read most of your letters, and I once thought he understood how important you are, but once the letters stopped coming I'm afraid he stopped listening." She sighed, eyes going back up to the webcam over the computer. "Seems a bit silly to be honest, talking to you when you aren't here. But I suppose it's like Dr. Fletcher says; we can't bottle up all the things we wish we could say to you. Since Barry has kept us from the light for so long, the good Doctor doesn't know how much you really mean to Kevin, but...." The recording shook her head. "Doesn't matter now I suppose. Therapy isn't important anymore. Not to say that you aren't important, because I want you to know that your are. You're the most important thing in the world to Kevin. And to me. But fate has higher plans for us. I can't say much here in case the others find this recording, but I hope you know that no matter where our destiny takes us, you will always be in our heart. Always."

The picture froze and the recording ended. Patrica sighed and fell backwards in the desk chair, slipping into a very unladylike slouch she would have scolded anyone else for.

Back then, that video had been her way of saying goodbye. Of course she had loved Lucy and of course she had wanted to see her again, but their destiny with the Beast had to take priority. Besides, it wasn't as though they had any idea where to begin looking for the blonde.

But now they'd found her. Now she was just down the hall, now it was no longer an idle thought to see her again.

Patrica should have been happy. She finally had everything she'd ever wanted. She should have been estatic!

So why did she feel so guilty?

She stared at the computer for a minute, contemplating making another video letter to Lucy before deciding against it. Saying things to the computer when the real thing was just down the hall just seemed cowardly.

Sighing, she stood and went towards the kitchen to make sandwiches for the unpure girls. She had to have faith, she told herself. She was the alter of faith after all. 

As long as she stayed true to her faith, it would see her through.

Chapter Text

Lucy Collins was no stranger to panic attacks.

Panic attacks were just one of the many things on the laundry list of issues she had acquired over the years. Dr. Wong had been the one to teach her the difference between them and anxiety attacks; those made her feel like she was an energizer bunny gone haywire.

Panic attacks were more like being a fish out of water. She could feel herself gulping at the air, but her lungs never seemed to stay full. Her mind barraged her with too many harsh thoughts at once to hear what they were all saying, but somehow she still felt the sting from all of them.

This was one of the reasons she had Bruce. Her golden retriever was a certified service dog who could help calm her down in the event of a panic attack, and seek out further human help if it was needed. But Bruce wasn’t here now. No one was here. Not even Dennis and Patrica. They had gone off to prepare for this Beast that was going to eat three of her art students, one of which she was rather attached to. That’s not to say that Claire and Marcia deserved the fate that awaited them, because no one did. It didn’t matter if they were ‘impure’, they could hardly be blamed for the cushy lifestyle they’d been born into, could they?

Okay, think. Think think think THINK!

SVU had never dealt with a case like this. Or if they had, they certainly hadn’t told Lucy about it, and rightfully so she wouldn’t have wanted to know.

Lucy wasn’t really quite sure how long it had been, but waking up on the floor of the room some time later told her that she’d passed out due to her attack. Not exactly feeling 100% just yet, she pulled herself up by the bed frame and went through her physical check list.

After confirming that falling hadn’t caused any major injuries and her breathing was at least keeping her conscious, she tried to force herself to think rationally. Swallowing down her disgust at what the Beast had...planned, for the girls down the hall, she focused on the surrounding situations.

She was definitely underground somewhere. Definitely not a residential area as this basement was far too big to be someone’s house. The door was locked, but Finn had taught her how to pick locks a few years back, so that was easily rectified. The real trick was the girls. She couldn’t quite remember how many doors down she was from where they were being kept, and she hadn’t gotten to walk around enough to know where an exit was. Should she try sneaking out and getting help? No, that would take far too long and she didn’t know how much time until.....Not to mention finding her gone would set Patricia, Dennis and Hedwig off. She didn’t want the girls to get hurt because of her.

There was part of her, the part that was either hopelessly optimistic or just a little in love with her old friends, that wanted to appeal to them to stop this madness altogether. There was a bigger part of her that was a lot more realistic however.

But maybe.....she felt sick and traitorous just thinking it, but maybe she could use that closeness to her advantage. They were clearly just as attached to her as they had been when they were children, maybe she could get them to let their guard down. One of them at least. If she got just one to put more faith in her than in this Beast she could free the girls and they could all get out of here alive.

She immediately ruled out Hedwig. He would be the easiest to manipulate, but there was no way she could stomach taking advantage to that sweet little boy.

Patricia was out too. The woman was clearly the firmest believer in this plan and she wouldn’t be abandoning it anytime soon.

That left Dennis. The protector. Her protector. Her man of steel with the heart of a teddy bear. It was clear that he was unsure of this whole thing already, and he’d always been the more dependent of the alters as Lucy was the only one who’d ever managed to get behind that hard exterior.

God, what was she thinking?! Using Dennis’ feelings for her against him? Proving to him that he was right to be so mistrusting of the world?

But she had to get out of here. She had to get those girls out of here.

”I’m so sorry Dennis....” she whispered to herself. She didn’t have any other choice. They hadn’t left her with one. “I’m so sorry....”

****

It was sheer luck that Dennis was the one to visit her next. Lucy didn’t really know what she’d say to Hedwig or Patrica at this point. To be honest, she wasn’t even sure what to say to Dennis.

The door cracked open in what Lucy had decided was the middle of the night — not having windows or a clock was taking a toll on her ability to tell time — and she could tell instantly by the heavy footfalls who had the light without even having to look.

”Are you awake?” Dennis’ accented voice drifted across the room that was lit only by the star nightlight casting spots of light everywhere. He heaved a heavy sigh. “Look, I get you’re mad. That alright, we deserve it. I deserve it.....I deserve it....” Dennis took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes with a thumb and forefinger. “I let you down. I should’ve fought harder against that social worker, I should’ve kept looking for you. To be honest, I thought you were better off without us. You know, you could make your own way.” One of the corners of his mouth pulled up a smidge. “But you’re you. You never gave up on us. All those letters, you were so mad at everything. Like they were the crazy ones for trying to keep you away. I’m sorry I wasn’t as strong as you. But I’m gonna be. The Beast isn’t just gonna hurt people, he’s gonna protect them. People like Kevin, like you, he’s gonna protect them better than I ever could. And he already knows how special you are. He’s not gonna let them get to you. He won’t fail you.....Not like I did....” Dennis looked down at his shoes, fidgeting with the glasses that were still in his hand. “...Can you say somethin’, please? Lucy, I know you’re awake.”

Lucy signed and rolled over to face him. “....What do you want me to say?” She asked, heartbreak evident in her voice. “You want me to be grateful that this Beast wants to protect me? I don’t want it’s protection, I didn’t ask for it. Dennis, I’m not a kid anymore. I actually managed to make a life for myself, I’ve got a job, I’ve got friends, like a normal person.”

”Y-You’re not normal.” Dennis shook his head. “You never were.”

”What if I wanna be?”

”What about us?” His voice cracked just a little. "You trade us for normal?"

"Dennis no." Lucy sat up properly. "You're my family. I wouldn't trade you for anything."

"Yeah? Sounds like you've made yourself a good life without us. Look around ya Luce." He gestured to the room. "We put places like this together everywhere we went. Got board games, trinkets, like you were gonna be there tomorrow for them. We literally can't operate on the idea of you not being here!"

"And you really think that's a one way street?" Lucy couldn't stop her voice from shaking. "I still have Hedwig's drawings up on my refrigerator! I'll set a second place at the table without even thinking about it! I haven't taken this --" she pulled at her necklace. " -- off in ten years!" She huffed as her shoulders slumped in defeat. "Dennis, come on. I need you just as much as you need me."

And that was what was effecting her judgement. Lucy had spent hours rearing herself up to manipulate Dennis, to try and do the right thing and save those girls from being killed. From being eaten.

But the look on Dennis' face as his voice cracked made her buckle instantly. "...You mean that?"

"Of course I do." Was the instant reply. It was true; what Dr. Wong would call and unhealthy co-dependency, but it was her's.

Dennis took several steps towards her, his long legs covering the room quickly. He pulled Lucy into his arms and she immediately returned the embrace.

"I'm sorry..." He said into her hair, too tall to burry his face in her shoulder any longer. "I'm sorry..."

"Shh, shh, it's okay." Lucy rubbed at his back. "It's okay. We're together again. We can stay together. That's what you want, right? You just have to let the girls go and we can be a family again."

There was a small shudder in the body of Kevin Wendell Crumb that was not the result of Dennis' sobbing. The grip on her slackened as it was pulled away.

"And is this how you treat family, dear?"

"Patricia, I-"

"Don't!" She snapped, a hint of danger in her voice. "You may have once known what was best for us, but do not assume that you still do. And using poor Dennis' attachment to you to try and free those impure?" She shook her head. "Perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps the times have changed you Lucy. You're no better than them." Her eyes flashed to the half of the bat signal around her neck and she suddenly reached for it, pulling so hard the silk cord holding it in place snapped.

Lucy gasped, her hands going to her throat automatically as the cord stung. "...Trisha..." tears pooled in her eyes.

"Don't call me that, you've no right. Just as you've no right to this." She held the pendant aloft. Swallowing straightening herself as though the next words took effort, she turned away. "It would seem the Beast will have a full meal upon his arrival. I'm sure he'll be pleased." She left, slamming the door behind her.

Lucy collapsed on the floor in tears. She cried for the girls she had failed to save, for the fate she now shared. She cried for want of Bruce's comfort, of the familiar leather seats of her orange bug, of the warmth of the SVU precinct, all things she was unlikely to see again.

But most of all, she cried for the loss of her friends and the pain that they had been forced to endure. Pain that had changed them to people she wasn't sure she recognized. 

People that perhaps could not be saved.

Chapter Text

Despite all the things that had happened to complicate her life, when it came down to it, Lucy Collins was a very simple person. She had simple needs, simple habits, and simple morals.

She was not above breaking laws and hurting feelings; her own survival had always been more important than worrying over the fate of the person who’s car or wallet she was stealing, or whoever’s innocent world view she was spoiling by playing the sweet down her luck little girl act while secretly robbing them blind. The world had never been just with her, why the hell should she follow its rules?

She did have her lines though. She didn’t take from or hurt people who were like her; victims. She was a soft heart deep down, always giving up her bed at the women’s shelter for somebody younger, always dropping a few dollars in the cup of a homeless person sleeping on the street.

Another group that had her camaraderie were those who actually helped. They were a rare breed, and she’d met very few outside of Manhattan, but they were there. Nearly all of them were victims themselves of a sort, but unlike her they choose to try and put some good back in the world, to keep giving a shit about morals and being just. It was a fool’s game and a constant uphill battle, but they fought anyway. Lucy honestly thought they were wasting their time, but she admired them for it nonetheless.

Kevin and his alters had always been a gray area for her. Well, that wasn’t true, they were as black and white as the rest of her life. They were people that for some bizarre reason looked at her and saw something worth sticking around for, something worthwhile. They were her family, and they always had been.

The gray came in when she tried to draw lines. At first it was just lines for them; they had a habit of putting themselves on the line in ways that could backfire and get them hurt. The only defense offered every time was that they were themselves on the line for her, as if that justified any risk. Then came the lines now, the Wong voice in her head telling her what was healthy human behavior and what wasn’t. Sometimes she wished she hadn’t met the man. She had been much happier before she knew how to identify red flags.

But even the uneducated Lucy Collins would have called murder — cannibalism, god she was never going to be able to stomach that — a red flag. The idea that anyone could kill anybody didn’t sit right with her, but to do it to a stranger, someone who hadn’t even wronged you, who at this point in their lives hadn’t really gotten the chance to wrong anybody yet? It just didn’t seem right, no matter what the supposed pay off was going to be.

Which brought her back to this Beast. Lucy wasn’t really sure what to make of him. It? Who knew. Whatever this thing was, it sounded like a fairytale. A real one too, not one of those that Disney had gotten his hands on. This one did not censor or hold back any of the gory details. An avenging angel. Someone fighting the good fight. Perhaps someone who could actually win too.

As stated, Lucy was a very simple person with simple habits. With a life that had offered very little by means of support, she always found a way to gravitate back to the people who she could count on the most, even when they were presumed dead.

Which was why, after who knew how long, the door to her room cracked open slowly she didn’t pretend to be asleep. She instead sat up instantly, knowing who had the light with one look, as she always had.

”Hedwig?”

”H-hi Lucy....” the boy stuttered nervously.

”What’s the matter?”

”I-I had a bad dream. M-Ms. Patricia said I thouldn’t come in here...b-but I thought...”

”You can always come to me Hedwig.” Shifting to the side, Lucy patted the place next to her on the bed. The boy darted for it, the door slipping shut behind him. For once Lucy paid no mind to it.

Hedwig wound his arms around her and curled up tightly into her side, holding onto her like a lifeline. He had his face buried into her hair, so Lucy could feel more than hear the shake in his voice when he spoke. “....L-Lucy are you....a-are you thcared of uth?”

Lucy blinked at the question in surprise. “...What gave you that idea Hedwig?”

”M-Ms. Patricia thaid that you didn’t like the Beast. Thhe thaid you weren’t gonna be our friend anymore....”

”Hedwig, I’ve always been, and always will be your friend. You, Kevin, Dennis, and Patricia. I’ve told you before.”

”Y-Yeah, but t-that wath before —“

“I love you.” She cut him off. “I’m not scared of you. I’m scared for you. I don’t wanna see any of you get hurt.”

”....I love you too, Luce....” something wet hit her neck and she twisted to see tear trails staining her friend’s cheeks. “I-I don’t want you to not be my friend. I didn’t want you to leave the firtth time!”

”I didn’t wanna leave the first time!” Lucy brought her hand to his cheek, wiping the tears away with her thumb. “I would have never stopped looking till I found you! Just...when I made it back to Pueblo...I saw the blood stain....And Kevin’s mom said she killed you....”

”Thhe almost did....” Hedwig looked down. “The hothpital saved us. Mr. Dennis thnuck uth out, and thince they had uth under ‘John Doe’ they didn’t look for uth....”

”Aw sweetheart, you must’ve been so scared...” Lucy pulled the child in a man’s body closer to her, her heart breaking. The Dr. Wong in her mind was saying something, but the voice sounded like it was underwater. She was too overwhelmed by the protectiveness and attachment she had spent a lifetime building with the original four personalities in the body of Kevin Crumb.

Yes, when it came down to it, Lucy Collins was a very simple person.

****

Shortly after returning home to Colorado to find what she had assumed to be the murder scene of her only friends, Lucy had spent a certain amount of time under heavy sedation. Her panic attacks had been through the roof, and having her denial shattered allowed her PTSD to catch up with her.

Suffice it to say that it had not been a comfortable time for Lucy. It had taken several months of steady therapy and medication bingo for her to achieve some semblance of normal again.

Lucy remembered very little about those few months, but if asked she'd have likened it to how she felt in the days following her confrontation with Patricia and subsequent reconsolidation with Hedwing.

Everything seemed fuzzy and out of focus. She could feel herself moving and speaking, but couldn't be sure what she was saying or doing. The voices in her head were muffled, as though calling out to her from underwater.

The trick this time was that there weren't any meds, and that the voices she was drowning out were the ones begging her to see reason.

Casey had schooled her features to remain neutral at the falsely pleasant meal she and Maria had been led to, but her eyes betrayed her concern when she saw Lucy sitting across the table. Her favorite teacher seemed blank, withdrawn. She had been alone in the kitchen when Patricia had brought them in, and she didn't say a word as she accepted the sandwich offered to her.

Something had happened.

"Can....Claire come eat with us?" Maria asked hesitantly.

"No." was Patricia's immediate response. "I'm afraid that can't happen."

Something finally flashed in Lucy's eyes as she seemed to notice that the blonde was indeed missing from the table. She looked between the girls in question. Casey shook her head minutely.

".....She'll be hungry though, won't she Trisha?"

"You needn't worry about that, dear." the woman patted her on the head. "I'll have Dennis see to her later."

Casey looked between the pair as discreetly as she could. Patricia seemed to her like a hard, no nonsense sort of woman, but there was a certain tenderness in her gaze with a hint of longing when she looked at Lucy. It seemed to reflect in the art teacher's eyes, though hers held an undercurrent of unease.

"I'll make her sandwich now, since you fret so much." Patricia smiled at Lucy before turning her gaze to the girls. "Always the bleeding heart sort, you know."

Casey did know. Lucy had a wonderful habit of finding the most downtrodden things -- and people -- and giving them the TLC they desperately needed. It was one of the reasons she liked art class, and the class's teacher, as much as she did.

But where Lucy attempted to love something back to life; be it a refurbished art piece, or Casey herself after her father had died, one thing Lucy lacked was the self-awareness. She often couldn't see when her feelings were putting her in danger. This had led to more than one confrontation with the highschool principal, the head of the community center, a few entitled parents, and one particularly nasty instance with Casey's uncle.

That hadn't been a pretty day.

It seemed that Lucy still hadn't learned her lesson however, as Maria slowly snuck up on the turned away Patricia while raising her folding chair over her head.

Casey shook her head to try and tell her it was a bad idea, but she couldn't stop herself from gasping in shock when Lucy put herself between the pair at the last second.

The older woman cried out in pain as she crumpled to the ground, alerting their captor, and giving Maria the distraction she needed to make a run for it.

Casey was put of her chair in a second, putting herself between Patricia and the doorway. Patricia brandished the knife she had been using to cut the sandwiches sternly.

"Go to your room and lock the door. Do it now."

Casey's eyes cut to Lucy, an unconscious heap on the concrete floor.

"Now!" Patricia's tone was harsh, but had a hint of hysteria in it. Casey wasn't sure she wanted to see what the woman would do if she got anywhere closer to Lucy.

Gulping, she spared the teacher a final glace before doing as she was told. Casey was beginning to think Lucy might be in a tighter bind than she and the others were.

Chapter Text

One of the more unfortunate symptoms of PTSD was doing something thinking you were in a different place or time. Disassociating, Dr. Fletcher had called it. When medicated and under less retraumatizing circumstances, Lucy was about to keep this to a minimum, save perhaps a few bad flashbacks.

Now though, having gone however many days without her medication and in these....extenuating circumstances, Lucy was finding herself stuck in the feeling of walking into a room and forgetting why you came in. She would wake up, not remembering going to sleep, blink and be in the middle of a conversation with Hedwig that she hadn't remembered starting.

As with most cases, it took a heavy jarring to get her to come back to reality. Lucy's happened to be a scream of pure terror.

But it didn't come from her.

The usually loud door was remarkably quiet as she ran though it. She wasn't sure where she was going, or how she was getting through doors she was certain had been locked from both sides before, but the loud scream had reminded her of the danger she was in, as well as the fact that she wasn't alone in it.

Lucy let out a shout of her own when she ran headfirst into a familiar head of brown hair.

"Lucy?" Casey voice shook as she looked at the woman like she was scared she was hallucinating.
"Casey." Lucy held the younger girl by the arms, looking her over. When she detected no obvious injury, she embraced her. The moment was broken when she saw another familiar face over her friend's shoulder. "Dr. Fletcher?" Lucy released Casey, kneeling down to shake the woman who was disturbingly limp. "Dr. Fletcher!"

A sort of skittering sound made both girls jump. Following Casey's terrified gaze, Lucy saw a familiar silhouette climbing the concrete walls.

"Oh my god..." Lucy breathed. Her hand went to clench Dr. Fletcher's, hoping for the comfort the woman usually offered, but the limp reality just scared her even more.

"Kevin Wendell Crumb. You made a mess. Get out here."

The voice echoed in her mind, reminding Lucy of the last time she had been even remotely this scared. Hang on...oh.

I'm really really sorry about this.

"K-Kevin Wendell Crumb."

Casey's eyes snapped to the teacher as her voice shook. Lucy looked terrified, but swallowed and resolved herself.

"Kevin Wendell Crumb."

The figure dropped from the wall and shook itself.

"Kevin Wendell Crumb!"

It fell against the doorway as though she had struck him.

"Let me talk to Kevin Wendell Crumb!"

The stiffness of the body seemed to leak away. He grabbed at a heavy blanket sat by the table and wrapped it around his shoulders. He seemed confused as he came into the light of the room and looked at the other two occupants.

"W-who're you?" Casey and Lucy both could only stare. "What's happening?"

"....Something horrible." Casey finally found her voice.

"....What I do? Did I hurt you?" He looked between the two girls, then paused when his eyes met Lucy's. ".....Lucy?"

"Hi Kevin...."

His worry turned to awe for a second, but it didn't last as he finally caught sight of Dr. Fletcher. "Dr. Fletcher? Dr. Fletcher!" He looked back to Lucy, who slowly shook her head, confirming his fear.

The good doctor was dead.

"W-Who did that?"

"You did."

Kevin shook and pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders. "Lu....Lu, I swear I was on a bus. I don't remember anything after that. T-This is still September 18th 2014, right?"

Lucy shook her head, horrified at the realization that her friend had been locked up inside his own head for over two years.

Kevin seemed just as scared, closing his eyes against oncoming tears. He slowly brought a shaking hand up to the curved half bat signal that was still around his neck despite the fact that his shirt had been removed.

He brought his eyes over to Casey, who still stood terrified a ways away from the pair. "...There's a shotgun I bought. It's, in the bottom cabinet, hidden behind things. The shells are in my uniform closet, out in the service hall." He spared a glance to Lucy, who's eyes were blurred with tears. "Kill me." He requested of Casey. "Then kill me..."

Lucy had zero time to face the turmoil that brought her, as Kevin's body was suddenly jumping forward to grab Casey by the arm, a new alter in the light.

"Wait! Wait, wait, wait! No, no, no, no don't do that! Don't do that! He can't handle reality. My name is Jade. Has Dr. Fletcher been getting our emails? This is what we have to we --"

She was cut off by the flinch of another stealing the light Lucy was so familiar with.

"-- As in 1008, when Atadepala (A/N: I know I spelled that wrong.) suffered the Shahee's most crushing defeat and Makmoon overtook the famed temple of Congra; we have been wronged by this alliance, this Horde, of Patricia, Dennis, and the boy! Their actions do not represent us! They-"

Another flinch. The actual lights in the room seemed to fade in and out, as though they were mimicking the light in Kevin's mind.

"E-Every-Everybody just take a minute! Oh, baby girl...." the new alter drew his hand across Casey's cheek. "They've been stealing control of the light from me, but the group, are gonna work through this. Sweetie, my name is Barry-"

He slurred his name like a radio running out of battery mid word. The room was suddenly quiet and Lucy saw a childish grin that she knew all too well.

"Hedwig don't...." She all but sobbed.

"Oh they were right, look at you!" He looked between the pair. "You're so frightened of us!"

Casey scrambled for the aforementioned shotgun. Lucy couldn't bring herself to intervene and stop her.

"Dennis and Ms. Patricia are in charge because of me!" Hedwig said proudly. "I'm gonna give the light to them now. No one's allowed to make fun of me anymore!" He looked over to Lucy and his eyes turned soft. "And no one's allowed to hurt Lucy."

****

August 24th, 2014

Kevin turned on the webcam and sat in his desk chair with a heavy sigh.

"Heya Lu. It's been a while since I've recorded one of these, and I'm sorry. Last I checked it was the beginning of the month, and now it's nearly over."

Casey and Lucy clung to each other as they were lead out of the underground tunnels. Something growled and Lucy was startled to realize that it was a tiger.

They were at the zoo. Vaguely, Lucy thought back to the trip she had taken her art students on and the panic attack that had taken place. That had been the trigger for her to see out further therapy, which in turn had lead to her running into Kevin and his alters again. Had Lucy not been so distressed, she might've appreciated the poetics of this.

"I'm loosing time. More and more lately. And, I'm starting to get the feeling that...one of these days I'm gonna give the light to someone else....and that'll be it."

As it was, Lucy could do little more than sit in silence as the medic patched her injuries in the back of an ambulance and gave her emergency meds to hold off any further panic attacks until she could get back onto her usual medical regimen.

She gave robotic answers to the police's questions, and when they asked if there was anyone they could call for her, Lucy found herself offering a very faded business card that she always kept in the pocket of her jeans as a source of comfort and luck.

"If that happens, and by some miracle you actually get to see these recordings, I don't want you to feel bad okay?"

In the next state over, a phone rang.

"Manhattan SVU."

"Uh...hi, I'm looking for a Detective Benson?"

Olivia frowned. She hadn't been called that in a while. "It's Sargent actually, and this is she."

"I always figured I wasn't meant for this world, but you have me something to hold onto. Hell, I haven't actually seen you in over a decade and I'm still addressing these video journals to you."

Lucy sat next to Casey in the back of a police cruiser. Neither spoke a word, but they were holding tightly to each other's hand.

"Casey Cooke's guardian is here."

Casey's eyes snapped up at the sound of her name, and her grip on Lucy's hand grew tighter.

"I hope wherever you are, you're happy. You deserve it."

A female officer leaned into the car to address the pair.
"Your uncle's here." She said to Casey. "You ready to go?"

One of the many things Lucy had learned in her time spent with the SVU officers was how much could be communicated with just a look. If the eyes were windows to the soul, alike souls could speak to each other, reach an understanding without a single word spoken.

Casey had not told Lucy why she had the scars that had been revealed in their fight with the Beast, and Lucy had not asked. But the look that Casey was giving her now spoke not just for the scars, but so, so much more.

"And I want you to know that when I do drift off, I will dream about you."

Lucy gave a similar look, nodding her head towards the officer. Perhaps she had similar training to the SVU detectives, but a look of realization crossed her face as she understood the conversation the two were having.

Casey didn't want to go with her uncle. She wasn't safe there. She laced her fingers tighter around Lucy's, her sole defender from the day they'd met, and knew that she was safe here. She wanted to stay with Lucy.

".....it's always you. I love you Lucy."

The look Kevin gave the camera as he clicked to put an end to the recording was a sad sort happy. He was resigned to the fact that he'd never see his friend again, but 'talking' to her helped it feel like she was. And with Lucy around, the world didn't seem so dark.