Chapter Text
Tuesday August 2nd, 2022
Liz's POV
"Do you think if I mooned them, they would leave?"
One of my best friends, Clay, says as we sit outside a cafe with paparazzi down the street. I chuckle and shake my head. "As funny as that would be, I don't think my publicist would want pictures of your butt and my face circulating around."
I glare down the street at about three men with cameras looking our way.
Clay hums, disappointed. "I guess you're right. Damn you for being a movie star." I angle my head over to him and squint at him playfully through my sunglasses. He turns to me after a moment and sighs. "We can leave if you want?" I shake my head. "No, they'll just follow us, and I need this distraction. Sitting at the house alone was driving me crazy." I pick up my iced coffee and swirl it around.
"I still don't understand why you didn't just go with her," Clay says as he faces me more directly. I give a slight shrug. "I didn't want to bombard her." Clay rolls his eyes dramatically. "Oh, come on. If anyone wants you to be on her music video shoot, it would be Y/n! The star of it!" He stares at me. "So bullshit. Give me the real reason, Lizard."
Damnit. Clay always knows when I'm bullshitting.
"Fine." I groan as I lean in my seat and place my elbows on the outdoor table. "Lately...- okay, Y/n and have talked, but lately she's felt this pressure... you know from the label, her fans, friends, and family. Some of it's real. Some of it's not. But she still feels it and wants to do her best." I take off my baseball cap and run my hand through my hair as Clay nods along before I put the blue hat back on. "Did she ask you not to come?"
I stop at the question. "She didn't not ask me."
"Lizzie. What does that mean?!" Clay flops back against his seat with a groan. "It means she asked me to go with her weeks ago, but as the day of the shoot neared, she never brought it up. So I scheduled my lunch with you, and Y/n never asked me." I pick up my iced coffee and take a sip from the horrible paper straw.
Clay scoffs, sounding a little disappointed. "So not only was this lunch a backup plan, but the couple who does their best to talk about communication this and communication that... Can't talk to one another and say what they want?"
I sigh again. "Look, I just wanted it to be easier for her. Plus, with my sister Courtney directing the video, I didn't want to take away from both of their future successes." Clay nods at that. "Okay, I guess I can understand."
"And before you start, Y/n and I talked this morning. We're good like that. Well, actually, we did a little more than talk..." I look away as I sip my iced coffee again. "What does that- oh- ew! Lizzie!" I smirk and look back at him. "I had to help her find some way to relax this morning." Clay shakes his head. "You've gotten vulgar since Y/n."
I look at him with an amused expression.
"Okay, we both know that's not true..." Clay admits. "But still! I don't need to hear it anymore!" I laugh and lean back in my seat again. "Deal." I pause as I look over Clay. "So, still no luck finding the ring?" Clay shakes his head. "I mean, he says he wants to get married, and meanwhile, my finger is still bare." I laugh with Clay, but on the inside, I think about my conversations with Y/n as of late.
When will she do it?
Meanwhile, a little more north of the city with fifteen days until the release of her album, hex, aka Y/n, is wishing she would've asked- no begged Lizzie to be here.
Y/n, dressed in her brown boots, jeans with a matching jacket, and a t-shirt with her own album cover on it, walks a few steps closer to the edge of the cliff overlooking out into the Pacific as Courtney Olsen directs a camera operator to show the luscious green of the hill behind Y/n before Courtney gets pulled away to go over some last-minute details.
Y/n definitely wishes she had listened when Max suggested doing this in the desert. Palm Springs sounds nice this time of year. "Okay, and someone bring Joni to set." Y/n hears from a walkie-talkie as an assistant walks by.
Joni is the name of the song and the character of the girlfriend in the music video who breaks Hex's heart and repairs it.
(Always Joni by Trousdale)
Y/n was not involved in the hiring process. Liz kind of made sure of that... but the second Cailee Spaeny grabbed the old Polaroid camera she would be using on this music video shoot, Liz knew as pretty as she was, Cailee had to be hired.
Anyways, as Y/n looks back at the number of people on set, running around with equipment, lights, and walkies, she starts to get in her head. Once again, going over the breathing exercises her therapist, Sofia, taught her. But it's not helping.
And before anyone knows it, she's gone.
Approximately twenty minutes later, as Lizzie hugs Clay goodbye and walks him to his car, Courtney begins to call up her sister.
She's praying the older Olsen won't kill her. As the phone vibrates in her (the) row pouch, Liz picks it up and looks at the screen before smiling. Despite her relaxed demeanor with Clay, Liz has been dying to know how the shoot has been going.
So, as she walks to her black Prius, she answers the call.
"Hey, Court! How's it going? Have you started? On you on break?" I check the small leather-bound watch on my wrist. "No, actually, you guys should be filming right now? Is something wrong?" I ask that last question half-jokingly. However, the longer the pause is between Courtney and me, the larger the concern grows. "Court?" Courtney finally speaks up on the opposite end. "Hey, Lizzie..."
I'm not too fond of this tone. It's as if she's talking to me like I'm a kid who's about to find out our dog died.
"Court." I dryly state as I hop into my car and start it up. Immediately, the Bluetooth connects. "Courtney, what's wrong? Is it Y/n? Is she hurt?" I put my seatbelt on as quickly as I can as more worry starts to spread.
"No. No! Y/n isn't hurt at all."
I pause and take a breather. Closing my eyes for a split second. "Okay..." I let out some air. "So what's going on? What is wrong?" My hands find themselves on the steering wheel as I dart my green eyes around the road before safely pulling the car out from the street parking spot.
"So..." Courtney has another pause before clearing her throat. "We don't know where she is..." Instantly, my head whips to the small screen in the middle of her car as if I can see my sister. I open and close my mouth before finding my voice. Deep and firm. "What do you mean!?"
On the other side of the phone, Courtney is sitting isolated against a trailer. Her eyes closed as she gets ready for the wrath of her sweet sister. "I mean, she was here one second and gone the next."
"I swear to-" I pick up my phone and search through my apps, going to contacts and clicking on Y/n's name. My eyes flickering up and down from my phone to the road.
I know. I know I'm usually much safer than this.
At the same time, Courtney is rambling, spiraling if I had to guess. "We tried looking everywhere. No one saw where she went. All of my calls and texts are being ignored. I don't have her location, but you do! Trust me, Lizzie, I'm so sorry! I don't know what happened!"
It's quiet before I let out a huff on the other end of the call, making Courtney gulp. "Lizzie?" Courtney tries again.
"She's at a gas station," I say as I pull up the directions on the maps app to Y/n's last known location. "Oh my gosh? Really? Is it close to me?!" Courtney questions on the other end as a text of the address comes through. I glance at the map before turning my Prius around, making a car swerve around me and blaring its horn. I give them a small wave, ignoring the man throwing a fit as I look at the directions. "It looks like it might be." I can hear the relief from Courtney.
However, I won't feel comfortable until I have Y/n in my arms. She's been so worried and feeling the total weight of imposter syndrome as the album drop becomes closer and closer. So I won't stop at nothing to reassure her she belongs. Here and with me.
I exhaled another shaky breath as my knuckles turn white around the wheel. "God help me, Courtney if she is hurt or anything!"
"I know. I know!!" Courtney does her best to ease me as I hear her running on the other end. "I'm heading to the address. I'll probably get there before you." I nod. "Just make sure she's okay and text me. I'll be there as quick as I can." I say as I switch lanes. "And let me talk to her."
Courtney nods. "Okay. I'm really sorry, Lizzie. I don't know what happened."
Y/n POV
I stand at the checkout counter of a gas station as the cashier, Jul, rings me up. Yes, that's her actual name. Jul. They look me up and down before smiling. "You from out of town?" They ask, making me tilt my head ever so slightly and arch an eyebrow. "No. Not really."
They shrug.
"You just have a certain look to you." I look down at the clothes I'm supposed to wear for the music video. "Yeah, I guess I do..." I reply before looking up at Jul's brown eyes. She smirks at my red painted lips and hits a button on the register. "I'm just saying. Looks good on you."
Were they flirting with me?"
"Thanks," I say as I grab my phone out and use the Apple Pay feature before my girlfriend's face shows up calling me. Again. I rapidly declined it, grabbed my water, and walked out of the gas station before Jul could look at my face again.
The vans on my feet hit the grey asphalt of the lot as I started walking. No destination in mind.
Honestly, I'm too busy thinking about how much my little break is going to cost me. Will it cost me my music video? My music? My career? Will this be the night Bo calls me and tells me I'm done? I mean fuck will this be the hour that Robbie turns back up from whatever hole he's in and tells me how right he was?
I'm not sure...
But as I wipe my eyes, I find myself at a lookout—the ocean's blue in the distance. I sit on the safety rail and wait. Wait for my mind to come back? Or wait till someone finds me?
Once again, I'm not sure.
Some time passes before a van parking behind me breaks up my silence. I don't need to turn around to know who it is. The tires' screeching and the door slam give it away.
However, Courtney and the small team gathered don't approach me. They remain back, making me turn my head. A small mistake because the looks on their faces range from concerned to angry.
I've wasted their time. Money. Resources. I've made someone who cares so much about me worried on a day that should've been about them as well. Courtney. Directing her first music video. I ruined it. I don't even care when an operator holds a camera to me before I turn my head away again.
I can sense Courtney's need to come to my side and comfort me. She's an excellent friend and sister to Liz.
I'm about to finally get up when a car comes zooming into the lookout parking, taking up two spots instead of one. I watch as Liz's black Prius gets put into park before my girlfriend storms out of the car and to me. Her sunglasses flying off her face. "Y/n!" She yells as she places her hands on my arms and looks at my eyes.
She's the perfect mix of scary and soft.
Her hands move up and down before they reach my face. Holding me with gentle care. And at that moment, I see relief on her beautiful face. Her eyes relax as she looks to me. "You're okay." She whispers between us before lifting her lips and kissing me.
It's delicate and makes everything feel better before she lifts her hands away from me, only to push them directly into my chest, knocking my lips and body away from her. "What the hell is the matter with you!" She yells as I stumble back. "You had me worried sick! I drove like hell to get here! I ran a red light!" She uses her hand to point to her chest as she starts marching closer to me again. I love it when she talks with her hands... "I speeded and cut off a minivan! Do you know how bad of a driver you made me? I probably looked like a deranged driver!" She throws her hands up in frustration before they land on her LA Dodgers hat, overlapping one another.
I stare back at Liz. The anger on her face slowly morphs into her natural state before she takes one more step closer. Her green orbs roam my face before they stare into my eyes once more. She frowns and reaches an arm out to me before her side collides with mine, and her hand finds the middle of my back. Her face is against my shoulder as she looks at me.
Her gaze is mindful. She has questions but is letting the silence breathe. I look out from the ocean in the distance and down at my Olsen, and I can't help but let a smile form on my face. "I can not imagine you speeding anywhere," I say before clearing my throat.
Liz is not amused with my comment as she rolls her eyes and huffs. Her hand pushed against my chest. "It's not funny!"
"A little bit," I reply, causing her to push her body away from mine and face me. Her hair blowing in the wind from the nearby valley. Her eyes shining in the California sun. She stays locked onto me before shaking her head. The tiniest smile shows itself.
Making me smile more.
Unbeknownst to us, our conversation is being captured on the camera rolling behind us with the direction of Courtney as she, too, films on her phone.
"I should've asked you to come today," I say as I walk towards my Liz. She nods. "You should've." She says back with a bit of sass in her voice after the scare I gave her moments ago. But then she lets out a breath. "I should've come regardless."
I give her a flat smile as we look at one another.
"Communication/non-communication/miscommunication being our cliche troupe kinda sucks." I laugh, making Liz shake her head as she once again leans into me. "I thought you told me you stopped reading fan fiction." My laugh vibrates in my chest as Liz looks up at me. "I did, but they kept putting out more Y/n & Elizabeth Olsen ones."
"Who are they?" She asks. "The people doing the good work," I respond, knowing full well that I'm all about the Y/n & Natasha Romanoff Alternate AUs.
God, please don't ever have Lizzie look at my account.
"I love you," Liz says to me as she sighs. "I love you too," I say after clearing my throat. "Why here?" She asks after a minute. "I don't know..." I answer truthfully. "I just... I freaked out and started walking and..." I gesture towards where we are now. "I wasn't thinking." Liz nods ever so slightly as she listens to my words. "Why didn't you call me? Or talk to Courtney? Or anyone else?"
I swallow. "Because I didn't know..." I stop and think about my words. "Because I don't think I knew I needed space or time to just be in the moment." Liz looks at me as I explain. Her face one of love and care. "I've been so nonstop for a while now that I feel this- this weight on me. To keep going. To not screw up. This is me trying. Trying to make it and ensure no one else can see me..." My lips quiver as my genuine emotions start to bubble to the surface. Elizabeth's hands instantly hold my face as her thumbs rub my cheeks. "I'm worried... I don't want to fail."
Liz doesn't say a thing as she pulls me into a long, warm hug. Her hands wrap themselves over one another behind my back, keeping me locked in.
My tears subside as I sniffle and lift my face away from her body. When she looks at me, she smiles and coos slightly as she wipes my face. "Oh baby, your makeup." I can't help but chuckle before stopping her touches on my face.
"You won't fail," Liz says to me, and I nod. I know I won't. I know I've worked my ass off to be here. I've had people support me all the way. "It's just hard when this." I point to my brain. "Doesn't turn off all the way." Liz nods back, knowing that this will probably be a serious conversation again in the future. "I get it." She takes a hold of my hands and keeps her eyes on me. "But I'm here with you. Always."
"I know." I clear my throat once more. "I'm sorry for not calling you and making you worry."
Liz looks from me to the small crew behind me before looking back at me as I glance to see the group. "You can make it up to me later." I smile and nod to her words. "Of course," I reply.
Liz and I hold each other's side as we look out at the ocean and let the comfortable silence surround us before quiet footsteps make their way to us.
Its Courtney.
"Hey, guys..." We look over, and I see her sad but hopeful smile. My arm removes itself from Liz as I move to Courtney and wrap her into a hug. The headphones on her head colliding with my skull. "I'm sorry," I say, muffled into Courney's shoulder.
She immediately holds me as well and lets me know that it's alright.
Whether it was or not.
"I wish you would've talked to me." She says, making me nod and smile. "All you Olsen's are the same." Liz shakes her head behind me. "Trust me, we're not." Country laughs as well before scratching the back of her neck. "So I can understand if you want to shoot the music video on another day, but I-"
The word no flies from my mouth before I can stop it, making Courtney close her mouth and look at me. The Olsens taught that.
No means no.
"Look, I know..." I glimpse from Courtney to the small crew that came with her to help find me—speaking to everyone. "Look, I know what I did was dumb and irresponsible. I'm sorry for that. But I still want to shoot this. I still want to make something beautiful, and it won't be possible without any of you." My eyes glance at Court and Liz when I say those last words. "I just needed a moment." I chuckle awkwardly.
Courtney puts an arm around me and pats my back.
"I'm down. Plus, I'm still getting paid." Courtney looks to the crew. "And I still need a job." She smiles, making some of the other people standing in the grass with us smile and nod.
Liz comes up behind me and kisses my cheek. "I'm proud of you."
I look to my right. "I love you."
"I love you too." She replies, and before I know it, I'm giving a similar speech to the one I just made to the rest of the crew back at the original site.
To my surprise, everyone stays.
Even a few crew members made sure to stop by and let me know that I wasn't alone in my feelings and actions today. One of the PAs told me her sister left her future husband at the altar before finding the love of her life. She even showed me pictures of the lesbian couple.
And I know I might be biased, but I think I just filmed one of the greatest music videos of my life.
So far. Wink.
But what's even better is that as we were wrapping up for the night, as Liz was taking pictures and signing autographs for some crew members, Courtney pulled me aside. "I want you to take a look."
On the monitor in front of me was a rough cut of the footage for the video. I recognized a bit of it from a quick filming session we did at a studio last week. Other footage was from today, where Cailee Spaeny and I held each other and pretended to be ever so in love on a bed in the middle of the valley before scenes intercut with heartbreak played out. "It looks incredible, Courtney," I whisper, in awe of her direction and how she chose to move the camera around us. She looks at me and smiles. "Thank you. But keep watching." I look at her confused before looking closer at the monitor as the second half of the song kicks in and footage of Liz and I throughout our relationship shows up on screen.
Including today at the lookout.
"When you hired me for the job, you told me this song came from that point in your relationship with Lizzie when you didn't know the next step between you two." I nod along as I remember. "And then you saw her at the airport." I nod again and turn back to the screen as Courtney continues. "I just figured the song or video wouldn't benefit without the speckles of you and her... I can remove them if you want."
I look back to Courtney with my heart full of care and love that surrounds me. "I'll have to ask Li-" "She already signed off on it." I close my eyes and laugh as I wipe the corners. "Of course she did." I open my arms out to the dirty blonde and hug her. "Thank you. Again. For everything."
Courtney squeezes me before pulling away. "Can I ask you something? It's a little personal?" I tilt my head just a tad. "Sure." I drag out the word as Courtney usually blurts out whatever she wants to ask. "I know this isn't the first time you've... I don't want this to sound mean or judgy." I keep my eyes on her, asking her to keep going. "Have you spoken to a doctor or your therapist about your..." Courtney doesn't say another word as her voice dies in her throat, but I know what she is asking. "I have," I reply with a nod as the topic of panic attacks and knack for bolting hangs in the air.
Courtney nods back. "Okay. I didn't mean to sound rude or anything, Y/n, you know that." I nod to her and give her a reassuring smile. "I know." She gives me one back. "I just care a lot about you. And my sister."
"I appreciate it," I say. "I'm actively working on it." Courtney gives me another nod before looking back at the monitor. "So, is this good?" She points to the still of Liz and me laughing on the screen. "I can't wait to see it done." Courtney smiles and gives a little pump of her fist. "Ah! Yay!" She goes back to her old goofy self, leading me to laugh before she blurts out: "Maybe you guys can try smoking or gummies again."
"Well, I was not expecting to hear that," Liz says as she enters the small tent where we are. I laugh. Liz looks at each of us. "I'm just saying," Courtney replies, making Liz look to me. "I don't even want to know. Did you see the changes?" I nod and surprise Liz with a kiss, making Court gag.
Liz, without looking with her eyes closed and her lips on mine, hits her sister.
"I love the idea."
Liz smiles wide and scrunches her face at me, making me fall deeper in love with her.
"You know," I say as I pull Liz's baseball cap off of her and put it onto my head as we walk to Liz'z car, one of the last ones to leave for the day. "You still have yet to take me to a Dodgers game."
"Oh, and after my heart attack from today, I would be the one taking you?" Okay. Point Liz. 0-1. "You know..." I start up again and take the keys from Liz's hand. "I have yet to take you to a Dodgers game."
Liz blushes as I hold my arm around her. "You're right. That sounds like fun." She looks up at me. "They have a home game on Thursday."
"So it's a date?"
"It's a date."
After finally making it home and having an easy takeout meal, Liz talked to Clay, Aubrey, Kathyrn, and her friend and potential co-star Natasha Lyonne about Liz and I maybe becoming stoners again... Also, I say 'potential co-star' because it all depends on how much Liz and Co can get for funding for their movie they're looking to make. I've met Azazel before and, of course, love Sorry For Your Loss. So I'm hoping his project, His Three Daughters, sees the light of day.
Oh, where was I? Oh right.
After finally doing all that, Liz is in the shower as I lay in bed with my headache hat on. It works wonders for me but gives Liz a headache, which is strange. Don't you think?
I feel my phone buzz next to me. I lift the hat from over my eyelids and open my eyes as my left hand grabs my phone.
It's one text from Jess Parker: "The Ring is ready."
Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, the Dodgers won the game I took Liz to. 5-3.