Chapter Text
The rest of that evening was just spent as a family of five. Carina heated up some left-over pasta for dinner which they ate together as a family, Lia sleeping in her Moses basket on the floor close to Maya, her little smart sock on her foot to give both moms some peace of mind and also allowing them to focus more on the twins. Nora was clingier than normal, insisting on holding Maya’s hand through all of dinner, but it was nothing unexpected.
“Is my baby totoina Yia gonna take a baf and read books wif us?” Rowan asked as she helped clear her plate off the table.
“Well, Lia isn’t going to take a bath,” Maya said, picking up the baby who had just started fussing, “But she can watch you in the bath, ok? And she will read books with us for sure. You are going to have to show her all your favorite ones so she can enjoy them too.”
“Yike How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight?” Nora asked as she handed Carina her plate.
“And Strega Nona?” Rowan added.
“Si,” Carina said, “I bet Lia will love those books.”
“Can we go read them now?” Rowan asked excitedly.
“Well, we can read books,” Maya said, “But not bedtime books yet. It is too early for bed and also, Lia needs to eat.”
“Can I do it?” Rowan asked. “You can help,” Maya nodded, “First, we have to make her bottle.”
“Can I help make it?” Nora asked curiously.
“I want to,” Rowan said, crossing her arms.
“How about Nora helps make the bottle this time and Rowan can help feed Lia?” Carina suggested as she got to work on the dishes, “And then tomorrow we can switch if you want.”
“Fine,” Rowan said as Nora nodded.
“Babe, I can wash the dishes,” Maya said as she grabbed out a baby bottle from their stash, setting it on the counter along with the formula they needed before going to the fridge for her breast milk, “You cooked.”
“I took some pasta and sauce that was already made and heated it in a pan,” Carina said, rolling her eyes, “We don’t have that many dishes tonight. Besides, you feed Trottolina and them pump.”
“Fine,” Maya said, turning to Nora who had brought her little stool over to the counter so she could reach, “Ok Piccola. Now, we need to add one scoop of this powder and then water up to this line ok?”
“Otay,” Nora said, carefully measuring out the formula before Maya helped her pour the water into the bottle.
“Good job,” Maya praised as Nora looked up at her, “Now, we are going to add this milk in up to this line.”
“Is dis from your boobies?” Nora asked as Maya helped her pour the milk from one bottle into another.
“Yes it is,” Maya said with a chuckle, “And it will help Lia grow strong hopefully.”
“But we didn’t drink milk from your boobies,” Nora said, “Only from Mamma’s.”
“That’s right,” Carina chimed in, “You both drank milk from me.”
“But now Yia just drinks milk from Mommy,” Nora said.
“Exactly,” Maya said, swirling the bottle around carefully to avoid too much air getting in that could upset Lia’s tummy, “Now we have to put this in the special bottle warmer right here and then Lia can have it.”
Just then, the baby let out a disgruntled cry, letting everyone know she very much wanted it now.
“You have to wait Yia,” Nora said as Maya brought the baby closer to the toddler, allowing her to rub the top of her head and kiss it, “It’s ok. Mommy and I are making you milk. It will be ready soon.”
“Good job Nora,” Maya said, her heart melting a little bit as she watched the interaction.
She had been so worried Nora wouldn’t take to Lia because she had been so standoffish in the hospital, but it seemed like maybe their little brunette and tiny red head were actually going to be ok.
“Mommy, I fink she wants food,” Nora said, looking at Maya.
“I think you are right,” Maya said, rocking Lia a little, trying to get her to settle down as they waited for her food to be ready, “She is ready for dinner just like we just had dinner.”
“But why is she crying?” Rowan asked.
“Well, because that is how she tells us what she wants,” Carina said as she continued to wash the dished, “She can’t talk yet so she is telling us she is ready for food by crying.”
“Kinda like your mamma does sometimes,” Maya said as she plucked the bottle from the bottle warmer, Carina sticking her tongue out at her wife.
“Mamma doesn’t cry when she wants food,” Rowan said confused as Maya made her way to the couch with all her girls.
“No, but Mamma gets cranky when she’s hungry,” Maya said, making sure it was loud enough for Carina to hear.
“So does Mommy sometimes,” Carina called from the kitchen.
“Ok,” Maya said, “Ro, I know you want to feed Lia, and you can help, but let me start because she is mad and I want to help her calm down.”
“Does she need to take breafs?” Nora asked as Maya got Lia into a feeding position.
“No,” Maya said, laughing, “She just needs her bottle. Ok Trottolina, here we go.”
Lia fussed for another second before she realized that the thing that was being run over her bottom lip contained her food and she quickly latched, sucking on the bottle happily.
“There we go,” Maya said, smiling as she watched Lia suck on her bottle, much calmer than she had been a second before, “Is that what you needed?”
“Mommy, is it my turn?” Rowan asked impatiently as she held out her little arms.
“Ok Patatina,” Maya said, laughing, “Now, it is very important that we help Lia sit up while she is eating, ok?”
“Why?” Rowan asked.
“Because if we lay her down, it can make her tummy hurt and make her feel sick,” Maya said, “And we don’t like that so we have to help her sit a little bit.”
“Yike dis?” Rowan asked as Maya helped sit the baby in Rowan’s lap, not moving one of her hands.
“Yep,” Maya said, smiling, “Good job.”
“Yia is too yittle to sit,” Nora said, confused.
“She is too little to sit by herself,” Maya said, nodding, “But we have to help her sit like this to eat so she doesn’t feel sick.”
“If Yia gets sick, does she have to sleep at the hospipal more?” Nora asked, putting her fingers in her mouth.
“No,” Maya said, “Not if she gets sick like that. But it will make her cry a lot and we don’t want that.”
“No,” Nora said, shaking her head as she rubbed her blanket that she had picked up off the floor against her face, “I don’t yike it when Yia tries.”
“Me too,” Rowan said, “I don’t yike it too.”
“I don’t think anyone likes it when babies cry,” Maya said, making sure Lia was still in a good position to eat as she helped Rowan feed her, “But babies can’t talk and so they have to cry to tell people if they need something. It’s how they communicate.”
“But maybe my baby totoina Yia should just learn how to talk,” Rowan said, looking at Maya seriously, “Tetause it’s better than crying.”
“She will learn,” Maya said, “It just takes time to learn. But you two can help her learn.”
“How Mommy?” Rowan asked, Maya having to keep a closer hold on Lia as Rowan let go.
“Ro, do you want to keep feeding Lia?” Maya asked, reminding the little girl of what she was doing, “You don’t have to. I can do it if you want to go do something else.”
“No, sorry Mommy,” Rowan said, helping to hold Lia again, “I forgot a yittle bit.”
“That’s ok,” Maya chuckled, “Now, to answer your question about Lia talking, the best way to teach her is to talk to her. So you can tell her about your day or a story or sing her songs or whatever. That is how babies learn is by seeing other people do it.”
“So if we talk to my baby totoina Yia a yot, she can talk sooner?” Rowan asked.
“Well, maybe,” Maya said, struggling to explain this, “But babies learn to talk at their own rate and because Lia was so tiny and sick when she was born, it might take her longer.”
“Why?” Rowan asked.
“Hang on,” Maya said, “First, let me take Lia for a minute to burp her.”
“Burp like ‘buuuup?’” Nora asked, confused.
“Yes,” Maya said, “Babies bodies don’t know how to get gas out on their own very well so we have to help them by patting their back to help get any air out so her tummy doesn’t hurt.”
“Tan I help?” Nora asked.
“Of course,” Maya said, “Here, let me show you.”
Maya took her hand, rubbing it up and down Lia’s back with little pats added in, taking Nora’s hand that she offered , helping her do it before letting Nora try on her own. Lia let out a nice burp about a minute late, Nora looking at Maya with big eyes before laughing, Rowan also laughing.
“What is so funny?” Carina said, walking in the room, finding Maya laughing too.
“Yia burped,” Nora said, laughing.
“I see,” Carina said, laughing a little too, “Babies like to do that.”
“She is so silly,” Rowan said, “But she forgot to say scusi.”
“She’s too yittle to talk, memember,” Nora said, the laughing fit dying down a bit.
“Mommy, you said it might take a yong time for my baby totoina Yia to talk tetause she was so yittle when she got borned,” Rowan said, reminding her moms of just how much of a steel trap her brain was, “Why?”
“Well Patatina, when Lia was very tiny, something happened that made her very sick for a few days,” Carina said, looking to her wife, getting a nod.
They hadn’t talked much about how they were going to broach this all with the twins, but they knew that talking to them early and often would help make things easier for everyone going forward.
They had talked to the twins plenty about disabilities and about people having different physical and mental abilities because they thought it was important. There was a kid in their daycare who was in a wheelchair due to spina bifida the year before so conversations had been had at that time especially.
However, this was different as it was their own sister and also, they didn’t have any official diagnosis to talk about, but it felt like something they should at least discuss with the twins. If Lia ended up not being diagnosed, at least the twins knew more about people with disabilities.
“And when that happened, it had an effect on her brain,” Maya said as she continued feeding Lia, Rowan no longer seeing interested as she listened to her moms talk, “And while she is getting so much stronger and healthier, it can sometimes be hard for the brain to heal all the way after it gets sick.”
“Si,” Carina said, “And it might makes things like walking and talking harder for Lia to learn.”
“So we have to spend yots of time teaching her?” Rowan asked.
“Esattamente,” Carina said, nodding, “And she is going to get lots of help too. She is going to have some special therapists come and help her learn things.”
“Yike Miss Taylor?” Nora asked. “A little bit different,” Maya said, “These people will help her learn to move her body a little better.”
“Oh,” Nora said as both the twins took in all this information.
“If you ever have any questions, you can always ask either one of us,” Carina assured them.
“Mamma, do we have to go to daycare tomorrow?” Nora asked, causing a small laugh from both Maya and Carina.
“No Piccola,” Carina said, scooping the toddler into her lap, “We are going to keep you two home for a little bit. Is that ok?”
“Si,” Nora cheered before cuddling closer to Carina.
“Is it ok with you too Ro?” Maya asked, looking at the little blonde.
“So I get to stay with my baby totoina Yia?” Rowan asked, realizing Maya was now finishing feeding the baby.
“Yes,” Maya said as Rowan crawled into her lap, “You do. But maybe some days you can see some of your aunts and uncles too. I don’t know yet. But Mamma is going to be off work for the next two weeks to help get Lia all settled at home so you two are also going to stay home.”
“Yay,” Rowan said, “I get to stay with my baby!”
“And Mommy and Mamma,” Nora said.
“We will all be together as a family,” Carina nodded, “At least most of the time. We have some appointments for Lia that we might see if someone can come watch you two or if you can go to someone’s house, but we will spend a lot of time all together as a family.”
“And I think the first thing we need to do as a family is get ready for bed,” Maya said, “Nora is starting to look sleepy.”
“Tan my baby totoina Yia take a baf wif us too?” Rowan asked as Maya started burping the baby again.
“Lia already had a shower today,” Carina said, shaking her head, “But maybe she can come upstairs and watch.”
“And read books and sing songs?” Nora asked.
“She can do all of that,” Maya nodded, “Now, let’s go upstairs and get you two in the bath.”
The nighttime routine went shockingly smooth considering they had added a baby into the mix, but Lia mostly just relaxed in either Maya or Carina’s arms and then fell asleep while they were reading.
While Maya tucked the twins into bed, Carina took Lia down the hall, putting her little smart sock on before quickly swaddling her and laying her down in her bed, slipping out of the room to meet Maya who was just coming to look for them.
“She is sleeping,” Carina said, “I got her all tucked in with her swaddle and paci and she is good.”
“She’s in there all by herself?” Maya said, biting her lip, “But what if something happens.”
“I have her smart sock on,” Carina said, showing Maya the app on her phone which showed all of Lia’s perfect vitals, “And I think tomorrow, we should set up the video baby monitor so that we can use that too while she naps during the day.”
“But shouldn’t we be with her?” Maya asked, body language screaming anxious, “What if something bad happens?”
“Nothing bad is going to happen,” Carina said, pulling her wife into a hug, “It is ok. She is just sleeping. Let’s go downstairs, maybe have some tea, and try to relax a little while all three of our children are sleeping before we go to bed because we are going to need to do that soon.”
“I…downstairs is so far,” Maya said, “Can’t we have tea in our room?”
“Bambina,” Carina sighed, “I know this is hard, but we have to let Lia nap by herself. She is ok.”
“I…But…She…,” Maya said, breathing picking up as she looked at their bedroom door.
“Hey,” Carina said, realizing her wife was rapidly heading into a panic attack, “Bambina, look at me. Eyes on me right now ok?”
“I need to be with her Carina,” Maya said as tears started rolling down her cheeks, “Someone needs to be with her. She shouldn’t be alone because what if something happens?”
“Nothing is going to happen Bambina,” Carina said, holding her wife close, “She is going to take her nap and then when she wakes up, we will feed her and get her back to sleep for the night, ok? But you have to calm down for me.”
“Just let me be with her Carina,” Maya sobbed into Carina’s chest, breaking the Italian’s heart.
Part of her wanted to just let Maya go and be with Lia, but she knew that they had to get this anxiety about Lia sleeping under control for the sake of Maya’s mental health and also ability to sleep.
“Maya, we are going to go downstairs and calm down, ok?” Carina said, almost feeling like she was talking to her daughters, but knowing her wife needed this right now, “We can watch Lia’s sats on my phone and drink some tea and just relax, ok? Just for an hour?”
“That’s a long time,” Maya said, feeling a little childish as she said it, but also that was how she was feeling.
“It is only an hour,” Carina said, “And then we can come back up here and go to bed after her next feeding.”
“I don’t want to leave her Carina,” Maya said with big tears in her eyes.
“I know,” Carina said, “But she is safe and we cannot just be with her all the time. Come on.”
Carina took Maya’s hand, guiding her begrudgingly down the stairs, the two of them going into the kitchen where Carina started the kettle for tea, getting out the mugs and choosing tea bags while Maya just stood there, biting her lip as she stared at her phone, watching Lia’s heartrate and oxygen.
“Bambina,” Carina said catching her wife’s attention, “Hey, I called your name three times. Let’s go sit on the couch.”
“I…I hate that this is so hard,” Maya said as they sat down, tears rolling down her cheeks again, “I just want to feel normal and be able to be normal with leaving our baby to take a nap.”
“I know,” Carina said, setting down their mugs and pulling her wife into her arms on the couch, “I know. Hopefully once your higher dose of your meds start working and we adjust to having Lia home, things will get easier. It is a big adjustment bringing a NICU baby home. It’s a big adjustment bringing any baby home. We will figure it out. And tomorrow, we can get the camera set up for her naps so we can watch her sleep too. It will get easier.”
“I know,” Maya said, rubbing her eyes, “At least I hope it does. And I think the fact that Lane’s bail hearing is tomorrow morning is making things harder. It’s making me more anxious.”
“I know,” Carina sighed, “Me too. I hate that he is probably going to be out.”
“I just hope he stays away from us,” Maya said, “I don’t know why he has chosen now to start causing issues, but I wish he would just stop.”
“And it is ok that you don’t go to court tomorrow?” Carina asked.
“I told the prosecutor I couldn’t come and she said it was fine,” Maya said, “It’s just a bail hearing. I do want to try to go for the actual trial, and I know I am probably going to have to testify at some point unless he takes a plea.”
“Do you think they will make Rowan testify?” Carina asked suddenly, the thought having not even crossed her mind until now.
“I told them she will not be doing that,” Maya said, having talked to the prosecutor a little bit just to tell her story, but she was going to have to have a proper meeting with her at some point to make sure they were ready for trial, “She is a tiny child and doesn’t need to do that. There is nothing she can add that I can’t and she does not need to be retraumatized.”
“I agree with that,” Carina said, “I wish you didn’t have to testify either. You don’t need that trauma either.”
“It will be good to finally see real legal action taken,” Maya said, “I really hope he gets jail time. It would be nice to not have to worry about him. Sometimes, I just wish that something would happen so he would be out of our life permanently but then I feel like a bad person for thinking that.”
“I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting your abuser to be gone,” Carina said, rubbing Maya’s back, “I know that when Papa died, it was hard to know he never got to get better, but at the same time, I was happy to know that he would never cause me pain like he had again.”
Carina didn’t ever talk much about her father who has passed away about a month after their wedding from a stroke. It had been challenging, but he had told Carina that she was no longer his daughter if she married Maya so she had already been grieving the relationship by the time he died. Maya had been there to support her wife through all of it and had been her rock when they had traveled to Italy for the funeral. Carina knew that at some point, she was going to have to tell her daughters about their nonno other than that he was her papa, but she had no idea how she was going to do that. However, she was not going to start thinking about that tonight, knowing she needed to be present with her family at the moment.
“Can we go up with Lia now?” Maya asked, looking at her wife.
“Let’s go get bottles ready for tonight and then we can,” Carina said, seeing it had been about forty-five minutes since they had come downstairs.
“I know I need to let her sleep on her own,” Maya said as they headed into the kitchen, “It…I…It’s just so hard. I feel so anxious with her sleeping up there alone.”
“Lo so,” Carina said, “It makes me a little anxious too. But we have to let her sleep by herself for so many reasons. It’s good for her and also for us. We cannot just be right at her side all of the time forever. We have to be able to get things done. And with keeping the twins home with us for the next two weeks, we are going to have to spend time with them too.”
“I know,” Maya said as she pulled pumped milk out of the fridge to add to the bottles Carina was prepping with formula, “All of this just feels like so much all at once.”
“I know,” Carina said, as she added Lia’s nighttime dose of medicine to one of the bottles, making sure to put a different color lid on it, “It is a lot. But we will figure it out. I was thinking of texting either Andrea or Vic and Travis to see if they could take the twins the day after tomorrow when we have to take Lia for her newborn appointment. She is going to have to get one vaccine and I don’t think the twins will love watching that and it also would be nice to just be with Lia for a little bit.”
“And we have to take her in again in like a week and a half for another round of shots right?” Maya said.
“Si,” Carina said, “To keep her on track with them for chronological age. And those ones might make her feel bad.”
“I know how important vaccines are for her, but the thought of her feeling sick makes me sad,” Maya said with a sigh, “She’s so little.”
“I know,” Carina said, “But it’s better for her to feel bad for a few days than to get any of the illnesses which could easily land her in the hospital.”
“I know,” Maya said as she picked up her pump while Carina gathered the bottles, “Now, let’s go check on our little peanut.”
“If she is sleeping, we should just let her sleep,” Carina said, “We got permission to let her go a little longer at night if she wants to.”
As they approached their bedroom though, they heard what sounded like the start of tiny baby cries, both of them hurrying into the room, hearing Lia fussing in her bed.
“Come here Peanut,” Maya said, lifting Lia out of her bed, “Did you have a good nap?”
Lia settled immediately upon being in Maya’s arms, Maya taking off her swaddle carefully.
“Are you ready for a diaper change?” Carina asked, having popped the bottles into the minifridge in their room, “Come here.”
Carina got Lia’s diaper changed, making sure the baby was cleaned up before zipping her back into her jammies.
“Why don’t you pump and I’ll get her fed and then we can take turns holding her upright while we get ready for bed?” Carina suggested as she picked Lia back up, “Then, by the time we are ready, she should be good to put down.”
“Ok,” Maya said, getting her pump out, “I know it’s important for her to get breast milk as long as possible, but I really hate this thing.”
“You can stop whenever you need to,” Carina said grabbing Lia’s nighttime bottle out of the fridge, popping it in the bottle warmer they had brought upstairs with them, “You have a decent stash in the freezer, but also, like I tell all my new mamas, if it isn’t working for mom, it isn’t working at all. It’s more important that you are able to be a mom to her and her sisters than it is for her to get breast milk.”
“I can do it,” Maya said, “I just…it’s not the most comfortable and I miss holding her to feed her.”
“Go sit on the bed,” Carina said as Maya got her pump ready.
“Ok,” Maya said, a little confused.
Carina took the baby who was clearly getting hungry and starting to look for food and placed her between the two pieces of the pump, Maya instinctively holding her.
“And now you can feed her just like that,” Carina said, grabbing the bottle out of the bottle warmer and tipping it up and down a few times before handing it to Maya who popped it in Lia’s waiting mouth.
“Thank you,” Maya said, looking at her wife.
“You don’t have to thank me Bambina,” Carina said, brushing a piece of hair off her wife’s face, noticing how exhausted her eyes looked, “I want you to get these moments with her. I know how easy it is to just start feeling like a milk factory after having a baby. And Lia likes her bonding time with her mommy too.”
Once Lia was done eating and Maya was done pumping, the Italian took Lia back, working on getting a good burp out of her while Maya put her milk away and went to get ready for bed. Once she was ready, the switched places, Carina getting ready while Maya held Lia who seemed to be very awake at the moment.
“Do you like being home Peanut?” Maya asked, kissing her cheek, “It’s pretty nice here, huh? And tonight, you get to sleep in your bed which is much nicer than the one at the hospital, mostly because it is right next to me and Mamma and you are the only baby here.”
Lia made a little bit of a face before spitting up some of her milk.
“That’s ok,” Maya said, wiping off her chin with a blanket.
Soon enough, Carina was done getting ready for bed, crawling in next to Maya and Lia.
“She still had about ten more minutes of upright time before she can lay down,” Maya said, looking at her wife.
“And then all three of us are going to sleep,” Carina said sternly, “She needs rest and so do both of us.”
“I know,” Maya sighed, “I will try.”
“I am sorry sleeping is so hard for you,” Carina said, pressing a kiss to Maya’s forehead, “I wish it were easier.”
“I have wished that since I was probably Rowan and Nora’s age,” Maya said, shaking her head.
Carina was fully aware of how early her wife’s sleeping problems had started, but it always felt like a dagger in her heart hearing it out loud. She wrapped an arm around Maya, kissing her cheek again before looking down at their daughter.
“I can’t believe she is already turning seven weeks old tomorrow,” Carina said.
“I know,” Maya said, “And the crazy thing is, she shouldn’t even be here for another two weeks. I can’t imagine what the last seven weeks would have been like if I were still pregnant.”
“A lot would be different,” Carina said, “But as much as I wish she would have waited a little longer to be born, I cannot imagine the last seven weeks without her perfect little face.”
“I know,” Maya said, shaking her head.
They stayed there for another few minutes before it was time to try getting Lia to sleep. They got her into her swaddle before Maya started rocking her, it only taking a few minutes for the baby’s eyes to get droopy and then close. She still had her smart sock on from earlier which meant the only thing Maya had to do was lay her down in her bed, both moms kissing her gently before getting into their own bed.
“Ok, now that we have our baby sleeping, it is time for me to get my bambina sleeping,” Carina said, looking at her wife.
“I’m ok,” Maya said, “You just go to sleep. I know you are tired.”
“No,” Carina said, “I want to make sure you are getting sleep too. Now, what do you need? Weighted blanket? Cuddles? Music? Me playing with your beautifully short hair? Italian? What will help?”
“Maybe my weighted blanket and some music?” Maya said, biting her lip, “I don’t know.”
“Lia is safe,” Carina said as she went to grab the weighted blanket out of the closet.
There was a period of time where Maya had slept with this blanket every single night, unable to get comfortable without it, but ever since the twins came along, the blanket had been relegated to the closet most of the time for safety reasons, only coming out when Maya or very occasionally Carina needed it.
“There you go Bambina,” Carina said, settling the heavy blanket over her wife’s body, “Now, let me find out playlist.”
“We have to make sure to wake up to feed Lia,” Maya said, panicking a little bit, “She…She needs to be fed.”
“Shhhh, Bambina, it is ok,” Carina said, turning on the soft music they had spent so much time listening to, “We will wake up. They said she was ok to go four hour stretches overnight if she sleeps that long so I will set an alarm for four hours from now, ok? But I think she will wake us up when she is ready to eat. Now come here. Can I hold you?”
Maya nodded, settling back into her wife’s arms as Carina made sure the blanket was secure around her, holding her close. Maya ran through some of the breathing exercises Diane had given her, Carina feeling Maya controlling her breathing but choosing to stay quiet, hoping whatever breathing exercises Maya was doing would help lull her to sleep. Carina just focused on what her wife was doing, and before she knew what was happening, she was sound asleep. When Carina woke up next, she was a little confused because her wife was not next to her in bed, for a moment wondering if maybe Maya had gotten up to pump before she sat bolt upright remembering that they had brought their baby home the day before. She looked around the room, not seeing Maya, grabbing her phone and seeing it was somehow 6 am. This meant that she had somehow slept through at least two but more likely three of Lia’s feeds. Carina jumped out of bed, finding Lia’s bassinet empty. She quickly looked in the bathroom, cursing herself a bit for not waking up to help Maya when she knew her wife for sure needed the help. She walked out of the room, checking on the twins who were still sound asleep in their beds. She went checked the nursery and guest bedrooms next, still not finding Maya. She then headed downstairs, wondering what had happened to land her wife downstairs. She walked into the living room, finding Maya sitting on the couch, Lia in her Moses basket on the floor near her, the blonde basically transfixed on Lia.
“Bambina,” Carina said gently, trying not to scare her wife, but getting no response, “Bambina.”
“Wha…oh, hi Carina,” Maya said, looking at her wife with absolutely exhausted eyes, “What are you doing up?”
“I should be asking you that,” Carina said, going over to Maya, careful not to disturb Lia who was sleeping peacefully, “How long have you been down here?”
Maya didn’t look at Carina, going back to staring at Lia.
“Bambina, hey,” Carina said, putting her hand on Maya’s cheek, bringing her favorite pair of blue eyes to look at her own, “I promise whatever you say, I will not be mad. I am just trying to figure out how to help you, ok?”
“I…I never slept,” Maya said, looking down, “I knew you had fallen asleep, but I took out my phone to watch Lia’s sats and then when you moved in your sleep, I got out of bed and turned off your alarms and went to watch her sleep. Then she woke up for her feeding and I brought her down here so I didn’t wake you up and we have been down here since. She’s been sleeping pretty well actually, but I haven’t slept.”
“Bambina,” Carina sighed, “You have to sleep. This is not good for you or her or anyone. Sleep is important. And she is safe.”
“I know,” Maya said, sniffling a little as tears gathered in her eyes, “I know she is, but I just…It all feels like so much and I am so scared and now I am so tired and I don’t feel good and I just…I don’t know what to do Carina.”
“It’s ok,” Carina said as Maya started sobbing, “It’s ok. I am here. It’s going to be ok.”
It was so hard for the Italian to see her wife like this, so overwhelmed and anxious. The blonde was a fairly anxious person when it came to her family most of the time anyway, and Carina knew that things with her pregnancy and Lia had only made that worse, hormones adding to things and intensifying all of it. As they had talked about at Maya’s appointment, there was likely some post-partum mental health issues also at play here, and Carina knew that all of this was going to take time to get better, but it was heartbreaking to see how miserable Maya was right now.
“I…I’m sorry,” Maya said, rubbing her face with her long-sleeved shirt sleeves, “I…”
“Hey, no,” Carina said, “It is ok. You don’t have to apologize. I am sorry for not making sure you were asleep last night. What can we do right now to help you sleep? I think it might not be a bad idea for you to take a sleeping pill and take a nap.”
“I can’t do that with feeding Lia,” Maya said, shaking her head, having looked into it.
“I know, but you can always pump and dump Bambina,” Carina said, pulling Maya closer to her, “You cannot keep running like this.”
“I don’t want to do that during the day,” Maya said, sniffling as she put her head on Carina’s shoulder, “We have the twins home today. I’ll be ok.”
Carina was mildly kicking herself for their decision to keep the twins home for the next two weeks. She knew it was what was safest for them, but it felt like a lot with how hard of a time Maya was having at the moment.
“You need to sleep,” Carina said, pressing a kiss to the top of Maya’s head, “I am so sorry I left you on your own with this last night.”
“It’s not your fault,” Maya said, “I know I should have woken you up, but you looked so peaceful and one of us should be sleeping right?”
“Both of us should be sleeping,” Carina said, “Why don’t you go upstairs and take a nap for an hour or two? I’ve got Lia.”
“The twins will be up soon,” Maya said, yawning a little bit, “I need to stay up.”
“Bambina, you have to take care of yourself,” Carina said, “You remember our promise to each other. I can watch all three girls for a while. Or maybe I can see if someone can come over and help. I already was planning on texting Travis and Vic to see if they could watch Rowan and Nora tomorrow while we take Lia to her doctor’s appointment. I can see if maybe Andrea or someone else could come over today.”
“I need to be up this morning,” Maya said, “I won’t be able to sleep. Lane’s bail hearing is at 9.”
Carina sighed, having almost forgotten that was also going on today.
“Fine,” the Italian said, “But when everyone takes a nap this afternoon, you will be part of everyone.”
“I will try,” Maya said, rubbing her eyes.
“Can I make you some coffee?” Carina asked, rubbing her wife’s back.
“My stomach hurts,” Maya said, shaking her head.
Carina knew this was something that happened with stress and lack of sleep often for her wife, but it still worried her every time it happened.
“Are you having any stomach issues or just not feeling good?” Carina asked, knowing that when Maya was very stressed or exhausted, the stomachache would turn into more.
“Just don’t feel good right now,” Maya said, snuggling into Carina’s side a little bit.
“Ok. Tell me if that changes ok?” Carina said, looking down at Lia who was starting to wake up in her Moses basket just as she heard little footsteps upstairs, “Looks like our girls are all waking up. Or at least two of them. I don’t hear Nora yet. Are you ok if I go heat up a bottle for Lia?”
“Yeah,” Maya said, nodding as she rallied a little, looking down at Lia who was squirming in her basket, “Good morning Peanut.”
Maya scooped Lia up, holding her close for a minute before taking off her swaddle just as Rowan appeared at the end of the couch.
“Hi Mommy,” Rowan said, smiling as she went over to her mom and baby sister, “Gingourno my baby totoina Yia.”
“Can you tell Rowan good morning Lia?” Maya said as she sat Lia up a little bit, holding the baby so she could see her sister, Lia blinking sleepily.
“Did she sleep all night yong?” Rowan asked as she held Lia’s hand.
“No,” Maya said, shaking her head, “Babies wake up in the night to eat. Did you sleep all night long?”
“Si,” Rowan said, “And no bad man.”
“Oh good,” Maya said, smiling sadly at Rowan, “Was Nora still sleeping when you got up?”
“Si,” Rowan said, nodding, “She yikes to sleep.”
“I know,” Maya said, laughing a little, “Just like Mamma.”
“Is Mamma sleeping?” Rowan asked.
“Mamma is right here,” Carina said, coming out of the kitchen with Lia’s bottle, “Buongiorno Patatina.”
“Gingourno Mamma,” Rowan said, running over to her and giving her a hug, “Tan I feed my baby totoina Yia?”
“How about we let Mommy start it?” Carina said, knowing Maya needed a calm morning and letting Rowan help with feeds was anything but that, “Do you want to help me get Mommy’s pump ready so she can make more milk for Lia?”
“Otay,” Rowan nodded as Carina handed the bottle to Maya, the blonde mouthing a “thank you” as she did so.
Carina pressed a kiss to the top of her head, stroking her short hair for a moment before leaning down and kissing Lia. Then, Carina and Rowan headed into the kitchen to get Maya’s pump while Maya got Lia started on her bottle.
“I’m sorry I am not being the mommy you and your sisters deserve right now Trottolina,” Maya said, stroking Lia’s cheek a little bit as the baby sucked on her bottle, “I really hope that you don’t end up with all the anxiety I have. I have already passed it on to your big sister. I really hope you can avoid it. And I know everyone tells me that it is not my fault, but it’s hard not to feel like it is. I promise you though, that if you do end up with any mental health issues, Mamma and I will be right there to hold you through all of it and make sure you get all the therapy and help you need, ok?”
Lia just stared up at her with her big eyes, Maya leaning down and kissing the baby’s forehead.
“Here Mommy,” Rowan said, coming into the room again holding Maya’s pump, “Now you tan make milk for my baby totoina Yia.”
“Thank you Ro,” Maya smiled, “Can you set it on the table? I will pump in just a minute.”
“Now I can feed my baby totoina Yia?” Rowan asked, climbing up on the couch next to Maya.
“Rowan, how about you come help me make coffee instead?” Carina said, coming back into the room.
“But my baby,” Rowan whined, crossing her little arms.
“But I need my Patatina to help me make coffee,” Carina said, mimicking Rowan’s movements, earning her a smile from the frowning toddler, “Please?”
“Otay Mamma,” Rowan said, going into the kitchen again.
Maya sighed, grateful her wife was there to play referee with Rowan because as much as Maya loved her little blondie, she just didn’t have the energy for Rowan’s energy this morning. When Lia was halfway through her bottle, Maya took the nipple out of her mouth, sitting her in a bit of a better position before starting the process of getting Lia to burp.
Just as she was finishing up with that, Rowan and Carina came back into the room, Carina holding two cups of coffee.
“We maked you coffee Mommy,” Rowan said, all but bouncing over to her, “And I helped pour it.”
“Wow, thank you,” Maya said, smiling, though Carina could tell the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Now can I feed my baby Totoina Yia?” Rowan asked.
“How about I finish feeding her and you can help me?” Carina suggested quickly, “That way Mommy can pump.”
“And drink her coffee,” Rowan said, climbing onto the couch as Carina carefully took Lia from Maya.
Just as Lia was finishing up her bottle and Maya her pumping session, another pair of footsteps descended the staircase and soon, Nora joined them in the living room. The little family enjoyed some time together before it was time for Lia to go to sleep while the rest of them headed into the kitchen for breakfast, Maya bringing Lia’s Moses basket with them so she could keep an eye on the baby. This didn’t go unnoticed by Carina, but the Italian knew her wife was more anxious this morning than she normally would be so she kept quiet.
Carina made omelets for breakfast with a little help from Nora, the family all sitting down together at the table. Carina had only given Maya a little bit of food, including some toast on the plate, hoping that would at least be something Maya could stomach. Maya was quiet during breakfast, though with how much Rowan seemed to have to say this morning, it almost went unnoticed.
“Mommy,” Nora said, reaching over to her when the little brunette was about done with her breakfast.
“Hi Nora Mae,” Maya said, smiling at her a little.
“Why did you not eat your eggies?” Nora asked, holding Maya’s hand on top of the table.
“I’m not very hungry this morning,” Maya said, “I didn’t sleep very well last night and I am feeling a little nervous about somethings and it is making me not hungry.”
“But you have to eat so you don’t have to go to the hospipal,” Nora said, frowning.
“I don’t have to go to the hospital,” Maya assured her, “I promise. I ate food last night and I will eat something later. And I’m not sick. I am ok. Just not hungry. No hospital, ok?”
“Otay,” Nora said, putting her fingers in her mouth for a minute before taking them out and looking at Maya again, “Tan I go see Yia?”
“Of course,” Maya said, “Just don’t touch her right now, ok? She needs to sleep.”
“Only yooking,” Nora nodded, climbing down from her chair.
“Hey,” Rowan said, realizing what was happening, “I want to see my baby Totoina Yia too.”
“Rowan, let’s let Nora have a turn looking at Lia for now, va bene?” Carina said, “You got to help feed her this morning.”
“But I yove her,” Rowan said. “I know,” Maya said, “But we all have to take a turn, ok? Do you want to help me clear the table?”
“I can do it Bambina,” Carina said, pushing back her chair.
“I’ve got it,” Maya said, “I need the distraction.”
“Tan we show Yia the park today?” Rowan asked as she took her plate off the table.
“I don’t know,” Maya said, biting her lip as she glanced at Carina, “How about we just show her some things at our house today ok?”
“But I yove the park,” Rowan said.
“I know,” Maya said, “But maybe you can show Lia how good you are at drawing with chalk on the back patio? And jumping on your little trampoline?”
Luckily, Rowan seemed ok with that proposal and after getting breakfast cleaned up, they all headed upstairs to get ready for the day, Lia waking up not long after they went upstairs, allowing Carina to change her diaper and change her into clothes too, picking out an outfit she had bought secretly not long ago as a surprise for Maya, knowing full well her wife needed something happy this morning.
Carina really hoped that her father-in-law did not make bail today, but she knew that it was likely he would. Their only hope was that he would get convicted eventually and be put in jail so they could finally have some peace. Carina didn’t realize she had spaced out a little bit while holding Lia until Maya walked over and placed her hand on her back.
“You ok?” Maya asked, kissing her gently.
“Si,” Carina said, “Just thinking. Are you ok?”
“I still don’t feel good,” Maya shrugged, “My stomach isn’t the happiest right now. But I think it’s because I know what’s coming in half an hour.”
“I’m sorry Bambina,” Carina said, rubbing her back, “If you want to just lay in bed all day, I can take care of the girls. I promise. If you need a mental health sick day, you can have it.”
“No,” Maya said, shaking her head, “I’m ok. I want to be with you and the girls, at least for now.”
“Ok,” Carina said, “Just let me know if anything changes, ok? The next few days are just about our family, ok? No obligations except appointments for this Trottolina.”
“That’s right,” Maya said, looking down at the baby for the first time since she came out of the bathroom, noticing the outfit Carina had put on her.
“Peanut?” Maya said, reading the shirt, “When did she get this?”
“I saw it a few days ago and had to get it for her,” Carina said as she handed Lia to Maya, “Because that is what you call her.”
“Because you are my peanut, isn’t that right Lia?” Maya said, kissing her cheeks a few times.
“Mamma,” they both heard Nora call just then, “I need help.”
They both headed into the twins’ room, finding Rowan dressed in her Italia t-shirt Carina’s cousins had sent for the girls in a box when Lia was born and some jeans while Nora had on her favorite dinosaur dress that was clearly on backwards.
“It’s too tight,” Nora said, tugging at her neck.
“That’s because it is on the wrong way,” Carina said, crouching down, “Remember, the tag has to go in the back.”
“Oh yeah,” Nora said as Carina helped her turn the dress around, “I forgot.”
“That’s ok,” Maya assured her, “Now, should we go get your hair and teeth done?”
“Does Yia need her hair done too?” Nora asked as they walked into the bathroom.
“Not yet,” Carina said, shaking her head as Nora and Rowan got up on their step stools in the bathroom, “She doesn’t have very much hair yet.”
“When will she get yots of hair?” Rowan asked as Carina started brushing her hair.
“When she gets older,” Maya said, “Ro, you were very bald when you were a baby. You didn’t have very much hair until you were almost 6 months old.”
“What about me?” Nora asked as Maya handed her her toothbrush with toothpaste on it.
“You had a pretty good amount of hair,” Carina said, “And it was very dark brown. Much darker than it is now. But it got a little lighter as it got longer. And curlier.”
They finished getting the twins ready before heading downstairs and outside to the backyard after grabbing the chalk from the garage. Carina made sure Maya had some water to keep her hydrated as well as a blanket for Lia.
“Welcome to the backyard Lia,” Maya said as they walked outside, “We spend a lot of time out here playing. I think you are really going to like it when you get bigger.”
Nora almost immediately started drawing with the chalk, Rowan going over to check on Lia before joining her sister, Maya and Carina sitting down on the couch.
“The DA is going to call me when the bail hearing is over,” Maya said, looking at her phone as the minutes ticked closer to 9 am.
“Va bene,” Carina said as she held Lia in her lap, “Whatever happens, it is going to be ok. We have a security system on the house and the police have already agreed to increase their patrols. We will make it through this and then hopefully he will go to prison. Maybe he won’t even get bail.”
Maya laid her head on Carina’s shoulder, wishing that this wasn’t happening right now. All she wanted was to be able to enjoy the fact that they were finally a family of five under the same roof and not be thinking about Lane and her trauma. It was so exhausting and miserable and she felt guilty for not being as present as she wanted for Lia’s first few days at home, but she just couldn’t get her brain to calm down. She was also so anxious about having Lia home and not monitored like she was in the hospital which wasn’t making things any easier.
“Mommy, Mamma, yook,” Nora said, coming over and pointing to her drawing, “It’s a T-wex.”
“Wow Nora,” Maya said, picking her head up off Carina’s shoulder as she looked at the drawing, “That is so good.”
The drawing was a large oval with longer legs sticking out of the bottom along with a big tail and little arms up at the top with a big head with sharp teeth.
“Now I’m gonna draw a pterodactyl,” Nora said, running back over to her chalk.
“I love seeing her be creative like this,” Maya said, “It’s always so funny to me that our artistic child got Mason as her middle name.”
“Si,” Carina said, chuckling, “And our athletic child got Andrea because he was so into sports as a bambino. And still now I guess.”
“I wonder what Lia will like,” Maya said, looking down at the baby who was pretty awake in Carina’s arms, “What do you think Trottolina? What are you going to enjoy when you get bigger?”
Lia just blinked her big eyes, grabbing Maya’s finger. Rowan came running over to them, having given up on chalk after only a few minutes, instead hunting down rocks around the yard.
“Yook what I found,” Rowan said, holding up a rock to Maya and Carina, “It has sparkles on it.”
“It looks like maybe some granite,” Maya said, nodding, “It is very pretty.”
“Can I keep it forever?” Rowan asked, holding the rock close.
“How about we keep it outside?” Carina said, having no desire to start a rock collection in their house.
“But I want to keep it,” Rowan whined.
“We can keep it in the yard,” Maya said, “No one will take it. You can find a special place to keep it so it won’t get lost.”
“By the tree,” Rowan said, pointing to the tree in the back corner of the yard.
“Sounds great,” Carina said, “Run and put it there.”
Rowan took off across the yard, Maya leaning her head on her wife’s shoulder again as they watched the little blonde go.
“We should get them a swing set for Christmas,” Maya said, not moving from her new, comfortable position, “They love the park and it would be safer to have one here.”
“I think that is a good idea,” Carina said, kissing the top of Maya’s head, “Are you just thinking this because of Lane?”
“No,” Maya said, “Well, yes and no. I have been thinking about it for a while because it is something I always wanted as a kid, but he always said it was stupid and that parks were for babies, that I should be running instead. Or doing something productive. I want the girls to have a playset to play pretend on and enjoy in the safety of their own backyard. It would also be good to not have to worry about running into him if he gets out at a public park.”
“Si,” Carina said, “I agree. Ok. We will look for a playset to get them for Christmas.”
“And I bet I could get Vic and Trav and Miller and Andrew to come over and help put it up,” Maya said.
“I think that sounds fantastico,” Carina said, nodding.
Just then, Lia let out a little noise, getting both of her moms’ attention.
“What?” Maya said, seeing the little pout on the infant’s face, “Oh. What’s wrong peanut?”
“Where is her paci?” Carina asked, realizing that they didn’t have it outside with them, “She is probably starting to get tired.”
“I’ll go find it,” Maya said, getting up and heading into the house.
She had just found Lia’s paci sitting on the end table where they had left it after her morning feed. Just as she was about to go outside again, her phone rang.
“Hello,” Maya said.
“Hello Maya,” the voice on the other end of the line said, “This is DA Harris. I just wanted to let you know that the bail hearing is over.”
“What happened?” Maya said, sitting down on the couch, “Did he get bail?”
“He did,” the DA said, “But he will be forced to wear an ankle monitor until the trial, and if he breaks the restraining order, he will be put in jail until the trial. And I have already contacted the police captain in your district so the police presence around your home will be increased.”
“Ok,” Maya said, swallowing hard, trying not to start crying, “Do you know when the trail will be?”
“I don’t yet,” DA Harris said honestly, “But we have a strong case against him. We have sworn witness statements from him breaking the restraining order earlier this year and videos of it from doorbell cameras from the most recent event. He is not going to get off easily, ok?”
“Thank you,” Maya said, “Um…what do I do now?”
“For now, nothing,” the DA said, “If he tries to contact you or come near you, call the police immediately, but other than that, nothing. I will be in contact with you once I know more about the court date.”
“Ok,” Maya said, “Um, thank you.”
“Of course,” DA Harris said, “If there is anything you need between now and the next time we talk, just call my office. Now, go enjoy having your baby home with you. I will be in contact.”
“Goodbye,” Maya said as she hung up the phone, just staring at it for some unknown amount of time before she was startled out of her thoughts by the door opening and Carina coming in with a crying Lia in her arms.
“I…I am so sorry,” Maya said, looking at the paci that was in her other hand, “I…I forgot.”
“What happened?” Carina said as she took the soothing device, popping it into Lia’s mouth, swaying a little bit to calm the baby down.
“He got bail,” Maya said, the words almost getting stuck in her mouth, “He…He made bail.”
Carina let out a sigh, knowing this was a huge possibility but having hoped that somehow, the judge would see that her father-in-law belonged behind bars.
“Are you ok Bambina?” Carina asked, knowing the answer was no but also wanting to give Maya the space she needed to talk.
“I…I’m scared,” Maya said, tears welling up in her eyes, “I’m just so scared that he is going to do something to try to hurt us or the girls and I just…I don’t know.”
“Bambina,” Carina said, going over to her wife, happy that Lia seemed to have settled down with her paci, “Come here.”
Maya leaned in, tears spilling down her cheeks as she buried her head in Carina’s shoulder.
“I just wish he would go away,” Maya sobbed, “I wish none of this was happening now.”
“Lo so,” Carina said, “Me too. But we will figure it out.”
“Mommy, Mamma?” the heard little voices saying as little footsteps approached.
Maya quickly tried to dry her tears before the twins could see though she wasn’t quite successful.
“What’s wrong Mommy?” Rowan asked as both of the twins walked into the house from the backyard.
“I’m just a little sad and tired and overwhelmed,” Maya said, scooping Rowan up into her lap.
“Do you need a hug?” Nora asked, having come in with Rowan.
“That would be good,” Maya said, nodding as both little girls crawled into her lap.
“Mamma, you too,” Rowan said, “And my baby Totoina Yia.”
“Ok,” Carina said, “Everyone hugs Mommy.”
Maya felt the tears running down her cheeks as she felt her entire family wrapping their arms around her. This lasted for a little while until Rowan got antsy and Lia started fussing again.
“Is it nap time Peanut?” Maya asked, stroking the baby’s cheek as Carina started bouncing her again, “I know. Let’s get you all tucked in.”
“Let’s have her nap in her bed upstairs,” Carina said, seeing the fear on Maya’s face, “We will put her sock on and it will be fine.”
“I need to set up the camera baby monitor first,” Maya said, “How about we let her take this nap down here with us and I will get the camera set up before her next one?”
“Fine,” Carina said, seeing that the little baby was already almost asleep in her arms.
“Tan we go back outside?” Rowan asked.
“Sure,” Maya said, “Can Mamma and I sit in here with Lia? We can leave the door open.”
“Otay,” Rowan said, “Come on Noa. Wanna pway with our cars?”
“Otay,” Nora said, the two of them running out the door to go find their construction trucks that they liked to play with.
“I should go put the camera up,” Maya said as Carina sat down on the couch next to her.
“You need to relax,” Carina said, “You look exhausted.”
“I am,” Maya admitted.
“How is your stomach feeling?” Carina asked, settling Lia in her arms as the baby fell into a deeper sleep.
“Still not great,” Maya said, biting her lip, “But the girls are up and I need to help you with the kids.”
“I need you to rest,” Carina countered, “You are going to make yourself actually sick if you don’t rest. The twins are playing, Lia is sleeping safely in my arms, you can rest Bambina.”
“I am going to go put the camera up first,” Maya said, “That way we can try Lia sleeping in her bed for her next nap.”
“Fine,” Carina said, knowing arguing wasn’t going to get her anywhere with Maya’s anxious energy today, “But when you are done, will you please come back down here and sit with me on the couch?”
“I will,” Maya said, nodding as she went upstairs.
The camera baby monitor was in the nursery, which was still not all the way finished, Maya making a mental note to work on that in the coming days too. She grabbed the camera and monitor, heading into their bedroom.
She ran to the bathroom quickly, her stomach still an anxious mess, before expertly getting the camera set up. It didn’t take too long and once Maya was sure she had the perfect angle that would allow them to watch Lia while she slept, she sat down on the bed for a minute to look at everything.
She initially had laid down on the bed to grab something off Carina’s nightstand which was across the bed, but then she smelled her wife’s pillow which smelled like Carina’s shampoo and told herself that just a minute laying there would be fine.
Meanwhile, downstairs, Carina sat holding a sleeping Lia, watching Rowan and Nora playing in the backyard. Eventually, the twins got tired of playing outside, coming in hungry and thirsty. Carina grabbed them each half a banana and a cup of water, Lia remaining sound asleep in her arms as she pulled out play doh for Rowan and Nora.
“Where is Mommy?” Nora asked as Carina sat down at the table, still holding a sleeping Lia while the girls dug into their play doh.
“She is upstairs getting things set up for Lia,” Carina explained, though she was starting to get a little worried about her wife because from what she remembered, the baby monitor was pretty easy to set up, though it had been almost four years so she couldn’t be sure.
“Mamma, tan you help me make a pizza?” Rowan asked, drawing Carina out of her thoughts about her wife.
They continued playing with play doh until Lia woke up in Carina’s arms. It was then that Carina realized how much time had truly passed since Maya had gone upstairs.
“Bambine, can you keep playing for a few minutes while I go change Lia’s diaper?” Carina asked, deciding not to tell the twins she was going to check on Maya because she didn’t want them to follow her incase Maya was either sleeping or struggling.
“Si Mamma,” both girls said as Carina headed upstairs.
“Let’s see if we can find your Mommy Trottolina,” Carina said, trying not to run up the steps to check on Maya.
When she got to their room, she sighed, happy to see that Maya was sound asleep on the bed. She didn’t look peaceful like she often did in her sleep, her face plastered with an almost frown, eyebrows knit in worry. It hurt Carina’s heart that her wife was going through so much, but at the same time, she was happy the blonde was finally sleeping, even if it wasn’t as peaceful as she would hope.
Worried that any kind of noise would wake her, Carina carefully slipped out of the room before Lia could start fussing about her wet diaper and how hungry she likely was. Carina knew that Maya probably needed to pump, but it was more important to her at the moment that her wife rested.
“We finally got Mommy to sleep Trottolina,” Carina said, “You probably don’t realize how big that is, but it is a really big deal. And when Mommy is sleeping, we just let her sleep, va bene?”
Lia just stared up at Carina, clearly trying to decide if she was ready to start crying again or not.
“Ok,” Carina said, seeing the face the infant was making, “Let’s get you clean and fed. Thank you for letting me check on Mommy without crying.”
Carina sighed, wishing that there was something she would do to fix everything that was happening in her family at the moment, but she decided that for right now, she would just focus on the things she could which at the moment, was the very simple needs of little miss Lia.