Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Thank you!” She smiled at the driver, waving as the taxi left with (what little) money she gave him. She waited until he was far enough away that there was no way for him to see her pretty face break into an ugly, ugly scowl. Mari was not a happy camper right now, no she was not happy at all. She was back from college, and for once in her life, she didn’t get delayed by a flight or weather. The plan was simple, her now adult brother would pick her up at her school, and they would have the house to themselves for a bit, and then they would go to the beach with all of their friends.

She had even gone through all the trouble of booking a steakhouse for today, so on the way home from that long drive, she could treat her darling, baby brother she loved so very very much. That was until she realized she was stranded at her sorority house for hours, and Sunny was nowhere in sight! She stomped up to the door, grumbling curses all the while now that she knew no prying eyes were upon her (she had a reputation to uphold after all). Hell, the car hadn’t even moved! 

“When I get my hands on that skinny emo twink I am going to wring the goth out of his corpse until I can pour it all on a Clares and turn it into a HOT TOPIC.” She yelled to herself. She couldn’t even use Hero as a source of stress relief, because that dumbass was still stuck at school for another week! And what was meant to be some special time with her special, best brother was spoiled by him not fucking showing up!

However, she was also worried as hell. He had been radio silent for the past few days. That wasn’t that unusual for Sunny, but he didn't even confirm if he was going to show or not when she texted him. She wasn’t going to pretend their relationship was always…perfect. An incident with the stairs came to mind but she tried to file that away. She was already upset, and there was no time for regrets.

“Sunny!” She yelled through the front door, beating on it with her fist” I swear if you slept through half a dozen alarms again I’m going to destroy all that weird slime girl manga and make a paper mache tribute to your virginity on the front lawn!” However, her violent fist beatings revealed that the door was unlocked, as it popped open, slowly creaking wide. Okay, what the fuck.

There were no signs of gremlin-like behavior at all. No empty soda cans, no endless cups of half-eaten ramen, no empty five-pound bags of shredded cheese. It was like her brother wasn't even left alone in here. The place was spotless. Shit, what the hell was going on.

She was distracted as a blob of the abyss eternal lept off a high shelf, aiming right ad her dumb face. However, she knew this was coming and held her arms open wide. The cat cursed its shitty luck and was crushed in a warm embrace. “Mewo! My girl. How are you?”

“Mewor!” The cat replied, to human ears at least. The proper translation of her words would be far too rude and culturally insensitive to put here, so they will be left out for the sake of the rating. The cat struggled, if only to show that she was a strong, independent feline, who didn't need no bitch-ass human, but stopped when Mari scratch her right between her ears.

“I know, I missed you too.” Mari smiled, placing a kiss on the glaring cat's head. “Too bad they don’t let cats into the sorority house, otherwise I would bring you with me.” Her smile waned a bit. “Do you know where my brother is? This is all a little…strange. Even for him.”

Out of all the human-like things she had seen out of this cat over the years, the wince at her brother's name, along with avoiding any eye contact was the most obvious. Their cat had always been “different”, being a sentient pool of black fur and huge bright eyes, almost formless when she wanted to be. But this was a strange thing to see out of a cat of all things.

“Is it that bad?” Mari asked the fucking cat of all things. Why the hell would she ask the cat? It’s a cat!? However, her feline friend just looked up the stairs, wincing again, and nodded. Mari just stared at her cat. She had always joked that the cat understood people, but no, that cat just communicated clearly with her. Okay, she must be really tired, or her cat was the spawn of the devil's salty tears like that old guy in the cemetery said. However, finding out what happened to her brother overwrote investigating her weird pet cat.

Mewo jumped out of her arms, walking towards the stairs. Mari followed after, ditching her shoes and dropping her bags to the floor with meaty thunks. It was messy, and she should take them upstairs to put them away, but fuck it. It’s not like their parents were there to nag her into acting like the perfect golden child. At least not at the moment. Fuck it, something weird was going on.

Walking up to the steps, she let out a snort. The “plaque” was still in its place on the wall, frame and all. Her brother had gotten it as a gag gift for her and her mother. He had told her that he didn't expect it to last that long, but here it still stood. “The Suzuki murder stairs, a heritage landmark.” She read “On this site, a young moron threw his instrument down the stairs instead of talking to his sister, then his sister soon after. Thankfully, her fat ass saved her life.”

She could remember her mother's face when they opened it. Sure, their father had chewed him out for his morbid sense of humor, and mocking present, but honestly, Mari loved it. She knew the subject was a bit sore, but in a weird way, dark humor like this helped her and Sunny move past it. Hopefully not past it and down the stairs again.

As she read, she began to hear…something? It was music alright. Not loud enough to be blasting at full volume, but enough to make its way through the closed bedroom door and into the open floor plan of the rest of the house, if she could strain her ears, she could barely make it out.

I wake up in the mornings

Sinking halfway to the bottom

There's a loud distorted screaming in my soul

Well,l that sounded rather morbid. Then again, her brother bounced between country ballads, hyper pop, and classical music. His tastes, like her own, were wide-ranging and weird as anything else about the siblings. However, something about this song she didn’t like. Her feelings grew stronger as she made her way up the steps. It was just getting louder, and there were bright, flashing lights coming from the tiny open crack from their previously shared room.

Everything is dark and empty

And I don't know how to fix it

So I curl up in a ball

And cry in the comfort of my home

Stepping through the door, she found her dear brother lying facedown on the floor as the LED lights he had installed a few months ago flashed in sync with the upbeat, but depressing music. He wasn’t even moving as she stepped into the room and shut the door behind her. Her sister's sense was tingling.

“You okay there dearest brother?” She felt her previous anger melt away into concern. Sunny wasn’t looking too good, or smelling too good for that matter. He clearly hadn’t showered in a few days, from how the oil in his hair reflected the flashing lights as she turned them off. However, still no response. “Sunny?”

I don't know why

I feel like shit

I say I'm fine but I'm not fine

I’m dy-

She sighed as that depressing ass music shut off. She didn’t need to be reminded of his weird edgy teenager phase. Well, edgier than he usually was at least. Still no response. So, she did what any self-respecting woman would do when faced with a maybe corpse. She grabbed a nearby yardstick and began to prod his side. Right in the fleshy bit. After a few pokes, she thought her brother may have really bitten the bullet if he didn’t groan and try to swat away Mari’s pokeing stick lethargically. “Oh, there you are dear brother. For a second I thought I’d have to bury you in the backyard.”

He slowly turned his head, his eyes bleary with bags that would put raccoons to shame. They squinted at her. “Mari?” His voice was gravley and corse. ‘Your home early.”

“No, I’m not. I’m home late. Because someone forgot that I was coming home today, and they were meant to pick me up.” She said with a cheery voice and murder in her eyes. To her surprise, her brother appeared unphased by her death glare. Normally it would have sent him scrambling! Instead, he just mumbled a sorry and went back to face down, finding comfort in her old cat rug.

Soon enough he felt something cold against his face. When he groaned and looked at it, he found a cold Orange Joe pressing into his cheek as his sister sat near him with a bag from Othermart. Only his sister would bring him this slop to drink when she was feeling petty. He was thirsty, however, so it would due.

However, when he reached for it, his sister snatched it up yet again, tutting her younger brother. “Ah ah ah! No drink until you sit up and talk about what's wrong to your big sister” She informed him, placing it next to her, out of his reach. Evil, pure evil. “I may even have snacks in here.” And as if prompted, his stomach began protesting the lack of food it had been given over the last three days. Although he didn't want to ruin a good depressive episode, his bodily needs outweighed his need to be sad, so he sat next to his sister and cracked open the can.

As Mari watched him chug down God’s biggest mistake like it was life-giving water, she decided to do what any good sister would do. Pry into her brother's life so she could figure out why he was being such an emo bitch. “So. Any reason you decided to lay motionless on your floor for days? Well, besides bad brain chemicals.’ She was no stranger to her brother's mental issues. But normally, he would warn her about it when he was getting worse. This came out of nowhere. And due to this, it left her rather worried.

“Yes.” He answer her as he threw the now emptied can into the trash. Mari passed him another as he continued to drink. Wow, he must be out of it to drink that shit willingly. 

“Are you going to tell big sister why?”

“No.” He answered after the second can. After he did so, he just slowly slid down the wall, until he was flat on his back, staring at the ceiling. He was much less likely to crack if he wasn’t looking at his nosy sister. However, he was brought out of the good depressive episode he was attempting to return to by a loud crunch, and the spray of crumbs across his face. Seriously.

‘Oh sorry. I’m sorta hungry. I had reservations to a steakhouse, but I had to drop them because someone didn’t pick me up.” And here comes the guilt trip, right on time. He knew at most, he just inconvenienced his sister. But he was doomed to a lonely, sad life now. Forever single, and kept company only with his virginity and the endless cats he would adopt. He was just picking out names for them as another spray of crumbs washed over him. Okay, she was doing it on purpose.

When he went to level his glare at his cunt of a sister, he stopped, dead in his tracks. Within her grubby mitts was the one thing on this earth that he would push another person down the stairs for. The black icing was perfectly smooth and glossy, the black outline boarding the cookie crisp. The cute button green eyes were symmetrical, and the mouth and whiskers of the cat-shaped cookie looked smug enough to rival his sister. The bakery cat cookies were back?! WHEN?!

“Oh? Do you want one?” Mari asked as she bit off the ear first, watching her brother wince and begin to tear up. “I talked to the bread twins and got three dozen of these. I know they are normally only around for Halloween, but they owed me a favor.” She shrugged as Sunny’s hand shot out to reach for the bag, only for her to yank it back. “Nope. Only good boys who talk about their problems instead of mopping get cookies. Otherwise, I’m going to eat them all myself.”

“You are a gigantic cunt, Mari.” He mumbled as he sat back up, his weak noodle arms pushing him back into position. 

“Only when you’re being such a little bitch Sunny.” She bit the other ear off the cookie cat. Mmm, pumpkin spice cookies were the best. “Now are we going to engage in verbal communication, or are we finally going to get you diagnosed.”

Sunny stared at her for a bit, weighing the pros and cons of letting Mari in on one of the worst things that had ever happened to him. She would be smug about it for ages, but only after some time. Eh, fuck it. He needed to get this off his chest. “Fine. But give me a damn cookie.

With a cat confection in his claws, he began to regale her with the horrible events that had transpired three days ago.

“I LIKE YOU, PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!” Sunny screamed, head held low, and flowers extended. This is it. The moment of truth. He had been building up the nerve to ask Kel out for weeks. He had gotten the flowers, the Orange Joe chocolates, a shower, and fresh pair of formal wear. He had invited him to the secret spot, for a bit of small talk. But as soon as he saw that tall tanned teenager, it was game over, he just blurted it out

It had been a hard decision honestly. He had known from an early age that he was a bit different. Puberty, besides giving him enough height to beat Basil and Aubrey, had also decided to check every box when it came to his sexuality and laugh at him. He was Pan, everyone knew that. He didn’t make it a secret that anyone that he thought was cute or nice was a crush of his. They faded what still. What was harder to deal with, was the fact he was polyamorous.

He had, well, given up on the dream of marrying all of his friends, and living in a big house with three dozen cats. That wasn’t feasible, what even were the chances, so he had to choose. And in the end? It was Kel that he felt the closest to.

After the incident with the stairs, everyone distanced themselves for a while, even Basil. That was fair, his actions almost took Mari away from everyone. However, one person stood by his side, always. Kel. Kel just laughed it off when Sunny tried to push him away, and knocked every single day. Maybe it was Kel’s experience being a younger brother as well, but he had refused to condemn Sunny for his actions. Kel said, “Yea, it was dumb, but I get it. Siblings can drive you up the wall! Or down the stairs in this case, I guess.” God damn it, he fell hard for that moron in a single moment after that.

Even lost in his thoughts as he was, he began to register the silence that followed. Oh no, oh no. Dare he look up? Dare he face the music and (possible) rejection. He could remain like this for a while longer, waiting until he died, or Mari came for him or something. He didn’t need much food to survive. He was forced to look up as he heard Kel shuffle around in place, a hesitant expression on his face, and a hand rubbing the back of his head.

“I’m flattered buddy.” He said, Sunny could already feel his heart cracking. “But…” Kel paused, trying to find the best words. Sunny, however, was just trying to keep from crying on the spot. This was okay! Rejection was okay, they could still be friends! “ But I’m already taken?”

Oh. If that was the case, then that stung a bit less. “Sunny stood up, straightening out and sniffing, trying to force back his tears. He could cry at home, mope, and move past this. But not in front of Kel.

“Oh…uh…Cris?” His voice warbled. God, he was pathetic. But he still wanted to wish his best friend the very best in life.

“No. Aubrey and Basil.” It was at this point that Sunny’s brain froze. Excuse me WHAT. They were polyamorous? What? Why? WHEN?!? He had pizza with them two days ago and there wasn’t a hint of this? Well, except for Basil holding Aubrey’s and Kel’s hands. But that was just Basil. Basil still clung to Sunny when the sun started going down. He just assumed that was normal twink behavior…. Maybe Aubrey calling him baby girl wasn’t sarcastic after all. He was out of the loop.

“Oh uh…congratulations. How long have you all been dating?” Sunny asked, his voice quieter, to avoid it cracking, or the creeping sense of envy becoming apparent. It was okay, it was okay. Everything was going to be fine, and they would still all be friends.

“Oh, we’ve been dating for four months! I thought you knew honestly.”  This just kept getting better and better. His friends, the people he loved the most in this world, had been living his dream while he was stuck unawares. He knew that extra tutoring for pocket money was going to make him miss out on important things. “Then again, I wanted to ask you to join, but the rest of the group vetoed me.”

If Kel wasn’t so oblivious, he could have perhaps seen the exact moment Sunny’s heart shattered. His shoulders slumped as he let the bouquet of cactus blooms fall to the ground, his hand going limp. The arm holding the chocolates was beginning to shake. Kel was too busy trying to remember the reason why it was vetoed for him to ask Sunny…huh…HUH. Damn his brain. He knew this was important but it was on the tip of his tongue.

“Oh, yea! They didn’t want you to know because you would be weird about it and they didn’t want to deal with it.” Ah, the first blow was struck, Sunny’s eyes widening and his form slumping even more. But Kel, of course, excited that his two neurons sparked together in a way that was beneficial to him, kept going.

“Oh, I remember now! They said that if you knew you would try and join it even if they said no! That you would be annoying, clingy, and sorta creepy!” With each word, Sunny could feel days being stripped of his will to live but could not move away from these cutting words. “Aubrey said she already knew about your perverse ways, and wanted nothing to do with your strange interests, and Basil said you made him sorta uncomfortable sometimes. So Aubrey thought it was best not to tell you.” Kel paused for a moment, frowning. ‘Although calling you a black-haired incel poser was a bit much.”

“Oh…..okay Kel.” Sunny was no more. No, he had been laid low by words and scattered to the four winds, what hope he had for today joined it. He was less than human now, a soulless husk remained. Well, at least he knew Aubrey was lying that one time. What girl would say it wasn't that weird when walking in on you looking at slime girl manga? He handed over the chocolates to Kel, his eyes vacant of all hope as he managed to mumble. “Here, take these. I won’t need them with what I’m going to do.”

“What's that?” Kel asked, tilting his head. Somehow, he was completely unaware of how he had completely destroyed a man with a few sentences, somehow doing what Aubrey had been trying to do for years.

“I’m going to go make some toast in the bath.”

“Oh! Okay, Sunny! Be careful!” He called after him as Sunny shambled like the walking dead out of the clearing. “Don’t drop the bread into the bath, it gets all soggy and gross!” Kel watched him leave before breaking open the chocolate. Huh, that had gone better than he expected.

At some point in the story, Mari pulled her brother close to her, and had begun to slowly stroke his hair. It was only natural for a big sister to want to protect her baby brother. But this was a whole different beast. Poor, poor Sunny. It was a good thing none of those motherfuckers were around right now. She may have been the one to almost raise them, but she was just as capable of taking them out! “Then what?” She asked, tentatively. “Because honestly, if Hero had turned me down like that? I think I may have tried to hang myself.”

Dark humor was banned in their household. After all, idealization could lead to actualization if you weren’t careful. But sometimes, it was needed. And she needed to hear the laugh that bubbled past his lips, mixed with a sob. She rubbed his back and waited. He did eventually respond. “ I didn’t have any jump rope lying around…” It was her turn to snort, as he reminded her of the panicked blonde's attempts to cover up her ”murder”. They would never let him “live” that one down. “But..Nah. I just came home and cried for a day. Then I’ve just been laying face down since. I mean, I’m mad and hurt, but their still my friends…” Sunny muttered. “Everybody talks shit in confidence, and I think Kel didn’t know that it was privet....” This would sting for a long while, but it would pass. He couldn't bring himself to hate them forever. Just for now, he would let himself be hurt. But he began to hear Mari sniffing, breaking him out of his angst “Mari?”

“Sorry sorry. I don’t have the right to get all teary now.” She said with a smile, wiping her eyes. “I just can’t believe how much you’ve grown.”

“What?” Sunny raised a brow. Sure, he had spent three days dissociating in his room in an attempt to escape his sadness, but maybe Mari was the one who finally lost it.

“You are! The little vindictive little shit I grew up with is now a surprisingly mature man.” Mari complimented him, offering him a cookie as she held it close to his mouth. He rolled his eyes and took a bite out of it, his ears glowing red. “I’m proud of you. Really. You took rejection on the chin and didn’t do something dumb or petty.” She grinned at him. “But not too old to be fed a cookie by your sister eh?” The smugness was almost enough to put Sunny off the cookie. Almost.

“Fuck off down the stairs…” He mumbled as his ears glowed brighter yet. Mari just laughed and got up. Normally, this would be step one in three dozen in her teasing Sunny plan, but he deserved a break. Just this once. She got up, popping every vertebra in her back. How Sunny found the floor so comfortable, while keeping perfect posture was a mystery! Maybe he had death note antagonist syndrome or something.

“Love you to brother,” She responded with a clap of her hands. “Okay, you're going to go take a bath, while I get the supplies!”

“For what exactly?”

“Sunny, my sweet baby brother. We’re going to have a nice night in, to celebrate your first rejection!” Sunny could imagine her throwing confetti if she had any. Most would find this kind of irreverent behavior insulting or harsh. But honestly, he loved it. “So I’m going to go to Othermart, and use moms credit card for steak, ice cream, and all the junk food your endless stomach can muster!” Her grin grew sly. “And then, we shall play the forbidden game.”

“You can’t mean.” Impossible. Mari herself had destroyed that thing after Aubrey had almost killed Basil over stealing all her tofu in the last turn.

“I do mean! Spaceboy Party Four! If we survive that RNG hell without murdering each other, after the massive screaming match is over, we can binge all the Spaceboy movies.”

“Well, what about the Sweetheart movies?”

Mari stopped, giving him a curious look. “I thought you hated those movies?” Mari, although a massive fan, would admit they weren’t the best. But watching that donut bitch somehow win at everything in life amused her so. Her brother, however, did not. In fact, the last time she had asked him to watch them with her, he had busted out an entire slideshow to explain why he hated her. She should have been mad about it, but honestly, it was an entertaining three hours, with citations in MLM format! At least she didn't have to worry about him struggling with research projects when he joined her in college soon

“I don’t. But you do.” Sunny shrugged. “Besides, consider it as payment for forgetting to pick you up.

“Awwww! My baby brother is so sweet!” Mari hugged him tight, pinching his cheeks all the whole. Those dumbasses had no idea what they were missing out on. And tomorrow? She was going to have WORDS with them. She wondered if there was space enough in the backyard for a few graves. “Now go shower, you smell like ass.”

“You sure that isn’t your shitty purple dye job?” Sunny asked as he wormed his way out of her grasp. She just laughed, it was good to be home.

“Thanks, Polly!” Basil and Aubrey had called Kel to talk about something important today. What it was he had no idea, what he was currently focusing on was carrying this tray of vegan dino nuggets to Basil’s room, while stuffing as many as he could into his mouth. He had no idea vegan stuff could be so good! He thought it was the dinosaur shape. At least Kim agreed with him.

“Hey guysh” He said with a full mouth, his girlfriend and boyfriend too busy looking at a notebook to spare him a glance. He swallowed his mouthful and looked over their shoulders. “So, what is this all about?”

Aubrey looked at him, and sighed. “Oh god damn it, do we really have to ask him, Basil? We could just go do it, then say sorry for not telling him.” Her face was bright red and she was already grumbly. Basil must be teasing her again.

“Oh come on Aubrey~’ basil said, his smug, adorable face and teasing tone making Aubrey bury her glowing face in her hands. “Is my big tough girl backing down from a simple confession? We’ve been planning this for weeks!”

“But emotions are gross and shit…” She mumbled, looking up at him with a glare. “I bet you're enjoying this you little fucker. Making me gush like some anime school girl.”

“Mmmmmm bashful is an adorable shade on you, I agree. But that's beside the point.” Basil said, popping a dino nuggie into his mouth. “Mmm, the point is we need to make sure Kel is on board. It's a group decision after all.”

“What decision?” Kel asked, clueless. Aubrey, being the huge badass she was, decided to coward out and stuff 4 dinosaur nuggets into her mouth. Basil looked at her, and sighed. Of course, he was going to have to do all the heavy lifting.

“We were going to ask Sunny to join us Kel.” Basil put slowly and softly like he was speaking to a child. ”And we wanted to know if you were okay with that, or felt the same way about Sunny that we do.”

“Kel blinked, staring off into space for a little while, confusion apparent. “I thought you said you didn’t want him in the polycule?”

“Huh?” Now it was Basil’s turn to be confused. The blonde figured Aubrey and his attraction to the pessimistic teenager was rather apparent. I mean come on.

“Yea. You said he was weird and pervy, and that if he found out, he would nag us nonstop about it. So we were never going to tell him! You even called him a black-haired incel freak.” Kel answered. “I thought that was mean but I mean, you feel how you feel.”

There was silence for a while, Basil just looked further confused, and Aubrey was too busy chewing fake meat to answer. However, when she swallowed it down, she just glared at Kel. “What are you talking….OHHHH.” Aubrey smacked him upside the head. “Kel you dipshit, we were talking about Mikhail!”

Basil’s expression lit up as he realized what Kel was talking about. “Oh, yea! I remember he was hitting on me after Bibi broke up with him. I don’t want to get anywhere near that mess, to be honest.” Both Aubry and Basil laughed. Kel did not.

No Kel just stared off into space. If you listened closely, you could hear the panicked screaming ringing out inside his mind. What he should have done was go to Sunny and explain this entire misunderstanding. However, his brain decided to just blurt out words somewhere that could get him killed. “Oops.”

“Kel, the light of my life, my sweet sweet boy.” Aubrey slowly crawled over. “Kel, Kelsey, sports boy, and himbo extraordinaire.” She continued her sweet nothings. However, Kel, although stupid, knew that he was in danger, so he had the common sense to flinch as she slowly cupped his face with a hand, squishing his cheeks. “ What the fuck do you mean oops?!”

“Pwomos uw wunt bew mawd” Kel sputtered, his puckered lips flinging spit into Aubrey’s face. Wow her forehead vein was really starting to bulge a lot! Oh, he may be dead already. But everyone made mistakes, he’s sure she would forgive him.

Deciding that intimidation didn’t have much of a use if she couldn’t understand this dipshit, she let go of her vice grip on his cheeks and glared him down. He rubbed his cheeks. “I promise I will try. “ She said, lying through her teeth.

“Okay….so uh…Sunny asked me out. He had flowers and some sweet ass orange joe chocolate!” Kel laughed, not noticing the glares he was getting from both Aubrey and Basil. It wasn’t anger, no, it was pure, unadulterated envy. Both held a rather high opinion of themselves. Basil had spent his entire adult life attempting to be an alluring forest nymph, and Aubrey cultivated a look that made you question if your pelvis would survive. So for Sunny to ask out the one person that put little to no effort into their appearance? Well, it was safe to say both were planning on where to put the body.

After all this polycule was built around a mutual love of Sunny.

“Yea. But my brain did an oopsie.” Kel continued. Now that Aubrey said she wouldn't be mad. “And I mixed up what you said about Mav, with Sunny. So I told him we were all together, and that you two thought he was gross and weird, and that you all didn’t want him knowing be-” Kel’s neurodivergent fueled ramble was cut off as Aubrey put her hands around his windpipe and began to squeeze. And unlike all those other times, there was no safe word given beforehand. 

“YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!” Aubrey screamed as she straddled his chest, shaking his head around as she attempted to wring the life out of him. “DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I’VE WANTED TO KISS SUNNY?! DO YOU!”

“A-Aubrey.” Kel attempted to claw at her grip, not having the amount of breath needed to tell her that it wasn’t the time for a fun time. Aubrey just continued as Basil stared off into space, his anxiety slowly building.

“NO I'M GONNA KILL YOU NOW, AND HOPE SUNNY WILL ACCEPT THAT YOU WERE ALONE IN THIS BULLSHIT, AND OFFER YOUR CORPSE AS TRIBUTE.” Aubrey continued to shake, and Kel was turning a little blue when Basil put a hand on her shoulder.

“Aubrey we have to see Sunny now.” He spoke with a calm, soft voice. This should have rung alarm bells in the other two, but Aubrey was too consumed in her rage, and Kel had less air going to his brain than usual. “Aubrey I don’t think you understand.”

“I UNDERSTAND, THAT'S WHY WE MUST OFFER BLOOD TRIBUTE.”

“Aubrey, Kel said all these things, to Sunny.” He paused for a moment, and Aubrey released her death grip from Kel’s neck. Oh no, OH NO. “Sunny is really sensitive, and I doubt Kel would have “let him down easy”. We need to see him and straighten this out. NOW.” The tone of authority was not something either of the other two expected out of him.

“Why?” Kel gasped with a wheeze, his head still spinning from the lack of air. And not in a fun way. “Shoulden’t we let him cool down?”

“It depends Kel. “ Basil asked, his voice wobbling for just a moment. “Is Sunny the kind of person who would take such a violent and mean rejection on the chin? Just deal with it in a healthy, normal way?”

Aubrey, seeing where this was going, filled in the blanks. “Or is he the kind of person who would go home and punch his own ticket over something like this?”

The question hung quietly in the air for a while. Nobody dared to answer it verbally. All just mentally chewed on the question. Until Kel broke the spell with a single word that would send them all into panicked motion. “Fuck.”

“Chance time?! CHANCE TIME?!” Mari screamed as she clung to her controller with a death grip. Sunny just watched this with a bemused grin. Mari had insisted that they marinate the steaks for a while before wolfing them down. So, as they waited, Mari grabbed a shower, and they decided to start a 20-turn game of Spaceboy Party Four. And like every time they played this game, things quickly turned to bullshit. Mari’s hair hadn’t even had a chance to dry yet before the shitshow began!

Since there were only two of them this time, they had decided to set the two computers joining them too easy. It would allow the siblings to shitstomp them with minimal effort, and focus all their energies on fucking over each other. This turned out to be an act of hubris that the game had not taken lightly, at all.

Sunny watched as Sweetheart was confronted with the demon of random number generation that had emerged from the disk in chance time. Those dead soulless eyes, their soft squishy body. Clearly, a demon summoned from the bowels of licorice hell to punish them for their mockery. Snaley.

Somehow, that little marshmallow fuck managed to get a lead on turn two, when he got a hidden block tofu. It only went downhill from there. It was a comedy of errors occurred, where Mari was the but of the joke. Every minigame, every item swap, every sprout mole tofu steal was leveled at her. Sure, Sunny got screwed over too, but nowhere near as bad as her. At this point, he was just playing to see how cranked up his sister got, subtly helping the computer beat her ass

Mari watched with bated breath as the marshmallow hit the blocks. And her hard-earned tofu was stolen from her. Sunny was watching her with excitement. Oh boy, this was going to be fun! “WHAT! OH, YOU PALE WHITE WHORE!” Mari screamed, flinging her controller halfway across the room. He watched the cheap, third-party piece of shit shatter on the wall in an explosion of plastic and cheap. Holy shit this was the best day of his life.

But just as his perfect sister was about to crack in a flurry of gamer words (™) they heard the doorbell ring below. Sunny quirked his head at her, wondering if she ordered takeout or something. Mari just looked pissed, but took a slow, shaky breath and stood up. “I’ll get it, I need some air anyway.” And she was gone. Oh well, might as well clean up the controller pieces while he waited for her to return.

Mari, however, was seething. She forced down her anger, swallowing it down so it didn’t consume her from the inside out. It’s okay, she could scream after they dealt with whoever was at the door. She would feel awful if she exploded on anyone who didn’t deserve it. She was mature, she was graceful. She could do this. Then she opened the door.

“Hello! How may I help….you…” Her smile began to crack as she gazed upon the people darkening her doorstep. “Oh. it's you three. What are you doing here?”

The trio was surprised by Mari being here. They knew she was coming back into town at some time, but still, it was a pleasant one! However, that happiness died as soon as they looked into her eyes. They were alight with fury, one that made the rest of her serene features all the more intimidating. Aubrey realized that Sunny may have talked to his sister about what happened. She was a little protective of her brother, but if anyone would be willing to hear them out, it would be Mari! Right?

“Hey, Mari? Can we uh…talk-” Kel attempted to break the ice. He was the one to cause the trouble, after all. However, he was interrupted. As she slapped him across the face with a newspaper

“No, We won’t talk. I’m going to talk to you for a little while, okay?” Mari smiled, and all felt someone walking over their graves. “You have the fucking gall, to come here after all the shit you were talking about Sunny? I thought I raised you better than that, but apparently, your all a bunch of vapid cunts who wouldn’t know a good thing unless it slapped you across the DICK!” 

All were cowed by that. They had never seen Mari angry before, much less hear her use such profanity. They were all cowed, for a moment, but one among them reacted predictably. Kel, sweet sweet Kel, was an optimist at heart. He believed, somehow, that everything would always turn out right in the end. That people were inherently good, and that love would conquer all. Maybe that's why he made the awful decision to open up his gob while he was being murdered by Mari’s eyes. “Look Mari, this is-” He was stopped by another wap with her holy newspaper of wrath, and an angry wagging finger

“No look here Kel.” She said, poking his chest violently. “My brother asks you out, and what do you do? You cut him down without an ounce of kindness or compassion! You just kick him in the romantic dick and then TAKE THE CHOCOLATE?! I don’t know whether to think you are cruel, fucking stupid, unaware, or a combination of the three! I know you got ADHD and enough learning disabilities to make Helen Keller feel pity for you, but FUCK. Could you not have created some words that spilled out of that thick, Orange Joe-tainted skull that didn’t send my brother into a depressive state? Maybe a little kindness?” She punctuated every sentence and harsh word with another violent newspaper wack

Aubrey. Who would normally be cow-towed by Mari of all people admonishing her, bristled at her boyfriend being insulted so openly. “Look I know he fucked up but-”

“Oh so now your big and brave enough to talk to someone’s face eh Aubrey?” Mari, her attention away from the tall lanky teen’s watering eyes, to her. Oh, maybe this was a mistake. “Weird enough you weren’t brave enough to talk all that shit directly to Sunny’s face. I guess you never grew out of that bully phase huh? You just hid it well.”

That hit Aubrey like a punch to the gut, she attempted to keep her brave face up, but could already feel the tears prickling in her eyes as her lip wobbled. Mari knew the guilt she felt about that lost year where she was a piece of shit, lashing out, and had pointed out that she hadn’t changed at all. “M-Mari i-”

“No, I don’t wanna hear a thing out of you missy. I invite you into my home, I feed you, let you bathe here and crash here, and this is how you repay me? Shit talking the boy you used to fire goo-goo eyes at every day? Clearly, I failed you, if you turned out to be this much of a vapid cunt.”

“Mari, this isn’t what it seems!” Basil finally mustered the ability to interject “If you would just listen-”

“You know what I wish Sunny listened to? Your suggestion to hang my ass instead of calling the ambulance.” Mari knew this was a bit too far, but honestly, she loved the look of shocked hurt on the blond’s face. Maybe they would feel what Sunny felt. “So instead of letting me down constantly, like you are right now, you’d only LEAVE ME HANGING ONCE.”

Basil tried to say something but just sputtered and whimpered. He was never good at confrontation. So Mari decided to end this bullshit before it could go further. “God damn it, I love you all like my family but I can’t even begin to describe how much you fucked up. I am so utterly disappointed in all of you. Now piss off.” She shooed them away with a limp wrist. “If I have to keep looking at you right now, I’m going to need three jump ropes and an alibi.”

She then proceeded to slam the door as hard as she could. Well, she tried to slam the door. At the last moment, Aubrey stuffed her boot within the threshold so the door slammed against her foot with a crunch. Aubrey let out a whimper as Mari opened the door to slam again. “Wait, Mari! Seriously this is all a misunderstanding!”

“Oh what? You were talking about someone else? Some other Sunny you were bashing?” She raised her brow, slowly reaching behind the door for something that packed a bigger punch than some rolled-up paper. “What could you possibly have to say?”

Kel, taking his chance to fix his mistake, decided to act. If there was one thing that Kel was good at, it was just pouring out every thought he ever had in his head. It was time to use his mental illness for good. “Because I confused them shit-talking Mav with Sunny! I would never think that about Sunny, I’ve been crushing on him since the third grade!”

“What?” Mari was confused enough she didn’t keep attempting to break Aubrey’s foot. Kel saw his chance to prove himself, and he took it “I’ve been crushing on him since he shared his lunch with me. He was always so kind to me when I was a little shit and I always think he would make the best househusband forever!”

Basil then interjected, seizing on the idea. “Me too! Sunny was the only one that listened to me when I was dealing with my absentee parents! He didn’t make fun of me for wanting to hold his hand, or needing a hug when I was sad! He always listened to me and made me feel important! I’ve been crushing on him just as long and I never asked him out because every time I tried, I just started throwing up everywhere!” he exclaimed, waving his hands all over the place.

Both the boys looked to Aubrey, who was too busy glaring at the ground to meet anyone's eyes. But she wasn’t fooling anyone, with how her face matched her hair. Both the boys nudged her, trying to force an answer out of her. Mari looked a lot less angry than she was before, just confused. There was one more confession left to make sure Mari believed their intentions. So Aubrey had to do the one thing that she never, ever wanted to do. Talk about her feelings.

“Aubrey? Do you have something to say?” Mari asked. Her tone was measured to the point of being unreadable. Mari just stared at her, and she could feel Kel and Basil’s eyes boring into her too. Oh god damn it, she was going to have to be mushy.

“Sunny is the best friend I’ve ever had!” She screamed, deciding if she was going to pour her barbed wire-wrapped heart out, she was going to be loud about it. “He listened to all my problems at him, and helped me out the best he could! When I pushed him away after the stair thing, he didn’t even hold a grudge! He’s the only one that can see right through all this tough girl shit, and just walk past every defense I’ve ever made! I wanted to ask him out since forever, but I’m just not good enough for him! None of us are!”

Basil and Kel blinked. That’s how she felt? Well, that was no good. But before they could go to comfort their best girl, who was almost sobbing at this point, Mari beat them to the punch. The older girl wrapped Aubrey in a tight hug.

“Don’t you ever say that about yourself,” Mari spoke to her softly as she cried into her shoulder. She felt a little guilty for letting all that poison spew out her mouth so easily, but it was clear everyone was fucking up today. What mattered was making it right. “I couldn’t be prouder of you.”

“B-but Sunny hates us now.” She blubbered, not noticing the extra two pairs of arms coming in to squeeze her. “We messed up!”

“Oh sweetie, Sunny couldn’t hate any of you. Honestly, he was just ready to respect your decision and live with the envy.” Mari almost laughed at the expression they all gave her. Oh my god, they didn’t know? Hmm, maybe there was a more interesting way to salvage this after all.

“Envy?” Aubrey asked, trying to clear her eyes of tears as the hug broke apart, although Kel put a comforting arm around her shoulders. “Why would he envy us?

“Well because he’s Poly and Pan sweetie, and he's been crushing on all three of you for years.” Mari adopted her smug smirk as she watched three pairs of jaws drop. “Honestly, you could have all made him yours years ago if you just sacked up and asked him.”

“....fuck me,” Basil murmured, slowly cradling his face into his palms. Mari did laugh at that sudden crude language coming out of Basil of all people. Kel was just grinning widely, as Aubrey adopted an expression of disappointment at herself, sighing.

“We are morons.”

“Yes, you are. But honestly, I sort of like that about you all.” All eyes shot to the source of the voice, Sunny was sitting on the sofa, peeking over the back with a smug little smile. Aubrey could feel her cheeks heat.”

“H-How long have you been there?!” She demanded, all that bluster back in full force. Embarrassing herself in front of her big sister figure was one thing, but embarrassing herself in front of her forever crush? Well, she had to hide the embarrassment somehow.

“This entire time.” Sunny smirked wider as the three began to blush and shrink. They looked adorable when they wished the earth would swallow them up. “Also it’s a yes.”

“What do you mean yes?” Mari asked, looking at her brother. The trio watched as the siblings communicated with just their eyes for a moment before Mari lit up. “Oh! How kind of you to grace them with such a gift dear brother.”

“Well, I am a kind and forgiving soul dear sister,” Sunny said, blatantly lying as he sat on the back of the sofa. “What I mean by yes, is I will accept the invitation into your little love pool.” Sunny waited until they were about to erupt. “On three conditions.” And then they wilted, looking sheepish. “Kel did tank my self-esteem for a full three days, after all.”

“We’ll do anything Sunny!” Kel exclaimed, walking stupidly into Sunny’s verbal trap. “I really wanna make up for it too.” He added sheepishly.

“Okay. The first one is that we will have a group date where Mav can see.” Sunny grinned as Aubrey paled. “After all, I want him to know what he will never have. Also, I wanna see if he has another incel breakdown.”

“Fine. what else?” Aubrey snarled. She was not happy with any of this. She knew how vindictive that little shit could be. She would have to field bullshit from Mav for a month at least! Then she would need to deny all his wheezing advances, trying to get his way in. Ugh, that bastard should just ask out Angel already. There was something between those two, she swore. But Sunny knew what he was doing, he was resigning her to deal with a permavirgin. If this was her punishment, so be it.

“Second, I’d like you all to have a sleepover tonight. Mari bought way too much junk food, and I need some people to help me eat it all. “Sunny said through a smirk and half-lidded eyes. “And maybe you can help me in other ways too.

Mari had to do her best not to laugh as the trio nearly combusted on her doorstep. Basil was the first one to break out of Sunny’s spell. “And three?”

“I want Basil to flash me.” Now all eyes were on him. Basil was famously prudish, to the point where not a single soul here had seen him without his top off. Nobody wanted to push the issue, because nobody wanted to make him uncomfortable, but Sunny decided to take advantage of the current situation.

“Now little brother” Mari started, but she heard a rustle of cloth behind her. She whipped around, but only found Basil blushing brighter than the sun itself, slouched over himself with both hands on the hem of his sweater vest. Sunny was also rather red but had a self-satisfied grin on his face.

“Wow, I didn't know you were brave enough for nipple piercings.” Aubrey whipped around, staring at the blond

“Excuse me what?!”

Mari turned off the tv and got up. Her back popped several times as she stretched. She then allowed herself a moment to look at the adorable scene before her.

All of them had passed out mid-movie marathon, but that wasn’t the cute bit. No, they were all cuddled so close. Kel’s head was lolled back and snoring, resting on the back of the sofa dead to the world. In his lap, her dear brother Sunny snoozed, still in his Pj’s, clinging to Kel’s chest as if it was his last lifeline to this world. He mumbled something into Kel’s chest as Mari began to pick up all the empty dishes and chip bags.

Aubrey was in a borrowed night dress, with a death grip on Kel’s arm. Her head was resting on Kel’s shoulder, her hair cascading over her face as she mumbled something. Her unoccupied hand grasped around for a while, before finding its target. Basil was lid down on the couch, the first to fall asleep due to his position on Kel’s lap.  His head threatened to teeter off with the limited amount of room Kel left him, but it had yet to happen. He hummed happily as Aubrey found his hair, and began to scratch at his scalp.

“Awwww…how sweet.” Mari grinned. She should have left them all like this, dreaming sweet dreams of each other. However, Mari was a big sister first and foremost, so it was her job to embarrass the shit out of them. With two clicks of a borrowed camera, she had her blackmail material for the morning, and an extra one, just to make sure Sunny couldn’t destroy the evidence. 

“Goodnight you morons.” She whispered, giving each a peck on the forehead before turning out the lights and making her way quietly upstairs. Ah, young love.

Chapter Text

Not an update, like you may have wanted, but its something rad as hell. Stewert VA, (also MS paint lancer on here) did an entire voice-acted reading of this fanfiction. And it is edited like a dream. I gotta show this off, so, if you want this fic in audiobook format, click the link in the description!