Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Group: penthouse pals

doctor who-ey: maaaaan

venom: ?

grappling hook stan: What’s wrong, Huey?

doctor who-ey: im kinda bummed

doctor who-ey: we had a surprise battle test today and i got destroyed :(((((

i'm so shiny: oh, i’m sorry to hear that…

venom: damn that’s rough

grappling hook stan: You didn’t get destroyed, Huey! You did well!

grappling hook stan: And besides, there’s always next time!

doctor who-ey: i guess

doctor who-ey: it’s just

doctor who-ey: i was soooo close yknow?

doctor who-ey: i just don’t know what im doing wrong?

grappling hook stan: Have you tried asking Mr. Woods for advice?

doctor who-ey: i don’t like mr. woods

doctor who-ey: he only gives advice to the winners

i'm so shiny: that seems kinda counterproductive…

grappling hook stan: Yeah, Mr. Woods isn’t the best…

doctor who-ey: yeah and now im just stuck

venom: why don’t you ask @soul hotel 

i'm so shiny: oh yeah that’s a really good idea! 

doctor who-ey: why him?

venom: have you seen that dude battle?

venom: he’s a fuckin monster

i'm so shiny: he’s also really good at strategy! 

doctor who-ey: i wouldnt want to bother him with how lame i am… :c

grappling hook stan: That’s nonsense! Wanting to improve isn’t lame at all!

grappling hook stan: And you’re definitely not lame! You’re my best friend!

grappling hook stan: You’re amazing, Huey Hagan, and don’t you forget it!

doctor who-ey: awww thanks!

doctor who-ey: you’re pretty amazing too lavender!!!! :)))))

grappling hook stan: Aw, Huey… :) 

venom: ugh there they go again

venom: @soul hotel save us from these saps

doctor who-ey: huh?

grappling hook stan: Saps?!

soul hotel: ?

soul hotel: i was taking a nap

venom: huey got his ass kicked and needs your help

i'm so shiny: venam!

venom: what, it’s true

grappling hook stan: That wasn’t very nice, though.

venom: oh shit

venom: shitty phrasing

venom: sorry huey, i just talk like that by default

venom: im working on it

doctor who-ey: it’s okay! I know you’re just trying to help!

soul hotel: …who do i need to kill

i'm so shiny: what

venom: the fuck?

grappling hook stan: Um?!

i'm so shiny: oh!

i'm so shiny: don’t worry, no one actually hurt Huey!

doctor who-ey: yeah!!! im totally fine!!!

soul hotel: are you sure

doctor who-ey: yes!

doctor who-ey: i just lost a battle test in class!

doctor who-ey: please don’t murder anyone!

soul hotel: oh

soul hotel: ok

soul hotel: offer still stands though

doctor who-ey: pls dont!!!!

grappling hook stan: Is this a regular occurrence?

venom: this is pretty tame honestly

venom: i accidentally insulted the truck guy in front of him once

venom: he almost put me through a wall 

i'm so shiny: he what?!

soul hotel: it was only fair

soul hotel: i did the same thing talking about melia once and you actually put me through a wall 

i'm so shiny: YOU WHAT?!

venom: uh…weren’t we talking about something else???

soul hotel: can i go back to my nap now

i'm so shiny: ughh we will be talking about this later!

i'm so shiny: anyway, we were wondering if you could give huey some advice to improve his battling skills!

venom: because his teacher is a piece of shit

i'm so shiny: VENAM!

grappling hook stan: No, honestly, she’s not wrong.

doctor who-ey: yeah…

soul hotel: oh

soul hotel: why me?

i'm so shiny: because you’re really good at battling!

venom: and you’ve already kicked all of our asses

venom: mine twice

grappling hook stan: Huey really looks up to you, too!

doctor who-ey: lavenderrrr don’t embarrass meeeeee!!!

grappling hook stan: I saw him taking notes on your tournament battles once.

grappling hook stan: And Huey HATES taking notes.

doctor who-ey: ihdgasfytwruigefndvka

i'm so shiny: awwwww

venom: can’t even judge, he’s a badass

soul hotel: sure, i’ll try

soul hotel: i need a reference though

grappling hook stan: Axis High keeps public recordings of students’ battle tests for review.

grappling hook stan: If it’s okay with you, Huey, can I send yours?

doctor who-ey: aw man now he has to watch me loseeeee :c

doctor who-ey: but ok, i think i need it

grappling hook stan: [BattleTest12604.mp4]

doctor who-ey: WHY DID YOU SEND IT HEREEEEEE

grappling hook stan: Was I not supposed to?

doctor who-ey: NOOOOOO NOW EVERYONE HAS TO WATCH ME LOSEEEEEEE

grappling hook stan: Oh, I’m so sorry!

venom: hey man, don’t worry about it

venom: we just won’t watch

i'm so shiny: yeah! it’s not a problem at all :) 

doctor who-ey: thanks guys!!! it’s just a bit embarrassing haha

soul hotel: huey your opponent cheated

venom: what the fuck

i'm so shiny: huh?!

grappling hook stan: WHAT?!

doctor who-ey: HUHHHH??????

soul hotel: yeah

soul hotel: she used 4 pokemon instead of the assigned 3

soul hotel: the primeape she sent out at the start is different from the one she used at the end

doctor who-ey: HUHHHHHH???????

venom: sorry huey but i gotta see this

venom: okay yeah i can kinda see the difference

venom: the first one had bigger bracelets

venom: kinda hairier too

venom: how the fuck did she get away with that???

venom: and why the fuck does she have two primeapes?????

i'm so shiny: that’s bullshit!

venom: language, melia

i'm so shiny: oh, don’t you start…

grappling hook stan: I don’t believe it...you’re right! 

grappling hook stan: Those are two different Pokemon!

grappling hook stan: I’ll have to report this!

venom: will your shitty teacher even listen?

grappling hook stan: Probably not. 

grappling hook stan: Which is why I’m going to Saki instead.

venom: damn

venom: rip cheater girl

venom: saki’s gonna rip her apart

grappling hook stan: Exactly!

venom: …?

grappling hook stan: :)

grappling hook stan: Nobody makes Huey sad on my watch.

i'm so shiny: i approve of this course of action.

soul hotel: now you’re getting it

doctor who-ey: please don’t kill her!!!

doctor who-ey: but hey! that means that maybe i didn’t do so bad after all

soul hotel: more than that

soul hotel: you almost won even with her cheating

soul hotel: you’re just a bit too excitable

doctor who-ey: excitable?? what’s that mean

soul hotel: you call out moves without thinking if they’re actually gonna work

soul hotel: you get so excited to battle that you forget to actually focus on what’s happening in the battle

soul hotel: if you didn’t call that flare blitz and let it get countered, you would have won

doctor who-ey: oh...i think i get it!

doctor who-ey: so i just have to think more, right?

soul hotel: yeah

soul hotel: you already have good reflexes

soul hotel: you just need to use them better

doctor who-ey: wow thanks buddy! that‘s really helpful!!!! :)))

doctor who-ey: uh, any tips on how to do that tho

soul hotel: train with lavender

grappling hook stan: Me?

soul hotel: you’re huey’s opposite in battles

soul hotel: based on what i’ve seen from you, you analyze situations well and make good decisions based on them

soul hotel: but sometimes you overthink and get overwhelmed

grappling hook stan: I see…

grappling hook stan: Thank you for the advice!

soul hotel: you cover each other’s weaknesses

soul hotel: i think training together would do you both good

soul hotel: just try not to get lost in each other’s eyes

grappling hook stan: huh?! 

doctor who-ey: hdafghsdahjsdgfwhaaaat?!!??!?!!

venom: lmaooooo

i'm so shiny: he has a point, you know… ;)

doctor who-ey: thanksbutigottagobyeeee!!

grappling hook stan: Me too goodbye

soul hotel: “just friends” my ass

soul hotel: i’m going back to sleep  

---

i'm so shiny: so, venam…

i'm so shiny: what’s this about putting people through walls, hm? :) 

venom: ah shit

Chapter Text

Group: penthouse pals

doctor who-ey: guys, lavender needs your help!

grappling hook stan: Huey, I told you I’m fine!

doctor who-ey: no you’re not!

i'm so shiny: huey, i’m sure we’re all concerned, but please be more clear

doctor who-ey: huh?

venom: dude remember the last time someone needed help in this chat without any context?

doctor who-ey: oh

doctor who-ey: @soul hotel no one is dead, dying, or injured!!!

soul hotel : thank god

doctor who-ey: anyway!

doctor who-ey: lavender needs help!

grappling hook stan: No, I don’t!

doctor who-ey: YES YOU DO!!!!

venom: oh shit

doctor who-ey: you haven't slept right in so long!

doctor who-ey: you haven't been eating right either!!

doctor who-ey: YOU USED THEIR INSTEAD OF THERE!!!!!!

i'm so shiny: no!

venom: are you sure no one’s dying?

grappling hook stan: No! No one is dying!

grappling hook stan: I’m just a little stressed, is all! There’s no need to make such a fuss!

doctor who-ey: she has a paper about rare pokemon due by next week

doctor who-ey: but she’s having a hard time

grappling hook stan: Huey, it’s fine . I can handle it!

soul hotel: i said the same thing once

soul hotel: fell into a volcano

soul hotel: wasn’t fun

grappling hook stan: What?!

soul hotel: the point is

soul hotel: you don’t have to handle things all by yourself all the time

soul hotel: we’d be happy to help you

i'm so shiny: yeah! that’s what friends are for! :)

venom: what they said

venom: we got your back

doctor who-ey: seeeeeeee

grappling hook stan: You guys…

grappling hook stan: Thank you so much!

venom: what’s the problem, anyway

grappling hook stan: We were tasked to write a paper that analyzes the physical characteristics of select groups of random Pokemon up close.

grappling hook stan: Some groups consist of rarer Pokemon, but are worth more points, and we don’t know what’s in a group until we pick it.

grappling hook stan: I picked the rarest group, but I think I’ve overestimated my ability to find the Pokemon in it, even with how much time we were given.

venom: didn’t take you for the type to do things last minute

doctor who-ey: she’s not!!!

grappling hook stan: I’m not!

grappling hook stan: It’s just that with all the chaos surrounding Team Xen, I was never able to get around to it on top of all of my other duties…

grappling hook stan: Oh, and thank you, Huey.

i'm so shiny: we’ll do our best to help out!

i'm so shiny: what are the pokemon you need?

grappling hook stan: Well, one of them is Venipede, but there are hardly any in Grand Dream City.

venom: oh that’s easy as shit

venom: i’ve got a scolipede

venom: i know exactly where to find those

venom: give me a day and ill get you one

grappling hook stan: Oh, you don’t have to go that far!

venom: yeah but i want to

venom: you’re my friend, i wanna help out

grappling hook stan: Thank you!

doctor who-ey: see! i told you they could help!

i'm so shiny: what else, lavender?

grappling hook stan: Um, I also need a Carbink, which are rare even in caves.

soul hotel: i have one

grappling hook stan: Oh, thank you!

grappling hook stan: There’s also Porygon. I don’t have a clue where Porygon even come from!

soul hotel: i have that too

grappling hook stan: Oh, wow! 

grappling hook stan: Okay, um,  Zubat is on the list too.

grappling hook stan: Why would they even put it on the list? There aren’t any in Aevium!

soul hotel : there are, i have one

grappling hook stan: What?! How?!

soul hotel: long story

soul hotel: i’ll bring her over tomorrow

venom: damn i’ve always wanted a crobat

venom: think you can get me one too?

soul hotel: i’ll see what i can do

venom: thanks man, appreciate it

grappling hook stan: How many rare Pokemon do you even have?!

grappling hook stan: Do you have a Yamask?

soul hotel: yes

grappling hook stan: A Shellos?

soul hotel: yep

grappling hook stan: A Cramorant?!

soul hotel: mhm

grappling hook stan: Oh my gosh…

doctor who-ey: that’s almost everything you need! :D 

i'm so shiny: that’s great! :)

grappling hook stan: Where did you even get all these Pokemon?

soul hotel: found them while traveling

soul hotel: caught a bunch of them for data and then released them, but some of them stuck with me

soul hotel : they help out in east gearen now, i think they like being helpful

soul hotel: i’ll bring them over too

soul hotel: they won’t mind as long as you treat them with respect

grappling hook stan: Of course! Thank you so much!

grappling hook stan: This last one might be the rarest of them all, though…

i'm so shiny: what is it?

grappling hook stan: I need a shiny Skwovet to compare to normal Skwovet.

grappling hook stan: Skwovet are easy enough to find in Grand Dream City, but not shiny ones!

grappling hook stan: I’ve been stressing over it for weeks now!

i'm so shiny: …

venom: …

soul hotel: …

grappling hook stan: …Why are you all typing that?

venom: uhh, lavender

venom: do you know where melia’s chat name comes from?

grappling hook stan: Not really?

grappling hook stan: What does this have to do with finding a shiny Pokemon?

i'm so shiny: it’s a pun

i'm so shiny: specifically, a pun about my special ability

i'm so shiny: wherever i go, shiny pokemon almost always appear

i'm so shiny: it’s worked every single time for as long as i can remember

i'm so shiny: that’s why my entire team is shiny

grappling hook stan: ...

grappling hook stan: Have you all had the exact Pokemon I need this entire time?

venom: yep

soul hotel: yeah

i'm so shiny: it seems so!

grappling hook stan: And I could have asked you and been done with this godforsaken paper weeks ago?

doctor who-ey: um…yyyyyep

grappling hook stan : …Thank you for the help. Excuse me.

[grappling hook stan is offline]

doctor who-ey: thanks a lot for the help guys!!!!! :)))

i'm so shiny: is lavender gonna be ok?

doctor who-ey: yep don’t worry! she’s just gonna scream into a pillow for a few hours

doctor who-ey: she says it makes her feel better whenever she’s stressed!

venom: mood

soul hotel: relatable 

i'm so shiny: huh?!

Chapter Text

Group: god’s favorite punching bags

Erin: @Aelita I want to thank you for letting me use your village grounds to train my powers.

Erin: The open space helps a lot.

Erin: NIce to be able to train without causing mass property damage. Who knew.

Aelita: Of course! You’re always welcome!

Aelita: And don’t worry about any property damage, we’re used to fixing it up.

Venam: why are you used to fixing property damage?

Aelita: Training sessions can get a bit heated sometimes, so every now and then an attack can go off course.

Aelita: Nothing to worry about, though!

Aelita: I have to go handle something, but give me a call if you need anything!

Erin: I will, thanks.

Melia: speaking of which, how has your training been going, erin?

Erin: It’s been going well.

Erin: I think I’ve discovered a unique property that my barriers have compared to yours.

Melia: oh? what is it?

Erin: Whereas your barriers are static walls, it seems that mine actually have some kind of repelling force to them.

Venam: like how two magnets do if they’re the same power?

Melia: *pole

Venam: yeah that

Erin: Somewhat.

Erin: Right now, I can only generate that force on one side of the barrier at a time.

Erin: I seem to be able to change how powerful it is, too, but the control needed is complex.

Melia: that’s great!

Venam: yeah

Venam: if someone pisses you off you can just put em in the dirt

Melia: please don’t use your powers to put people in the dirt,,,

Erin: Of course not.

Melia: thank you!

Erin: I don’t need my powers for that.

Venam: nice

Aiden: nice

Melia: no!

Erin: I’m not sure how useful it is. I suppose the force can slow the momentum of some attacks, but that’s mostly it.

Aiden: that’s awesome 

Aiden: that’s almost exactly how reflect and light screen work

Erin: I guess so.

Aiden: don’t underestimate that

Aiden: i owe my life to reflect and light screen

Erin: It still takes a lot of energy, though.

Erin: And it won’t matter if I’m too slow to block something.

Melia: have you tried using your barriers for movement like i have?

Erin: I have, but my barriers aren’t nearly as maneuverable as yours on their own, much less with me on them.

Erin: They feel a lot…denser, for lack of a better term.

Venam: but you have that repulsor thingy now

Venam: maybe that can do something

Erin: Like repelling myself into the dirt?

Erin: Unlikely.

Aiden: no wait actually

Aiden: that would happen if you pushed yourself down

Aiden: but can you push yourself up?

Erin: Up?

Aiden: yeah

Aiden: like that one thing i saw in someone’s yard in east gearen

Aiden: someone jumped on it and they bounced up really high

Venam: a trampoline?

Aiden: yeah that

Venam: i think that belongs to miss montgomery

Venam: her blueberry muffins are the shit

Melia: and you always con her for them…

Venam: i do not!

Venam: i just convince her with my limitless charm

Melia: you fake an illness every time and claim her muffins are the cure

Melia: she’s too old and nice to notice something’s up

Venam: …but the muffins are great tho

Erin: …That aside.

Erin: It does sound like something worth exploring, but it seems a bit impractical for movement purposes.

Aiden: erin

Aiden: i fell into a volcano

Aiden: if i had a floating trampoline i could summon at will

Aiden: i would not have fallen into a volcano

Erin: Point taken.

Erin: I’ll give it a try.

—

Kanon: GOOD AFTERNOON, EVERYONE!

Venam: kanon, buddy, remember what we said about the caps

Kanon: AH.

Kanon: I’m sorry. I’m still getting used to this “texting” thing.

Kanon: Ah! I see you discussed Erin’s training!

Venam: oh yeah you’re there with her, aren’t you

Kanon: Yes! I wanted to see new places now that I’m free from my shackles as a Servant, so Erin let me tag along to Sheridan Village.

Kanon: It’s a beautiful place!

Kanon: And I do believe it’s doing Erin’s training good as well.

Kanon: She’s been practicing the “trampoline” method you mentioned before.

Kanon: It’s quite impressive to watch!

Erin: No need to butter me up, Kanon.

Erin: It’s not like I’m gonna throw you back to being a slave if you’re not on my good side or something.

Kanon: I’m sorry, but what does butter have to do with this?

Melia: it’s an expression

Melia: she’s means that there’s no need to flatter her

Kanon: But I’m not?

Kanon: I’m simply praising her for her efforts.

Erin: Yeah, but you’re not a Servant anymore.

Erin: You’re not obligated to say good things about me.

Kanon: But I want to say good things about you!

Kanon: Is that not something friends do with one another?

Erin: We’re friends?

Kanon: Oh, I’m sorry. Have I misinterpreted?

Kanon: I was told that friendship consisted of mutual feelings of esteem and trust between two individuals.

Kanon: I apologize for assuming that this applied to us.

Erin: No! 

Erin: No, it applies to us.

Erin: I’m sorry. I’m just… still not used to actually having friends, I guess.

Melia: awwww erin…

Kanon: I’m also unused to having friends.

Kanon: We can learn together!

Venam: geez it’s like having another huey

Venam: no wonder they get along so well

Kanon: Therefore, as your friend and of my own free will, I say that your training is admirable!

Erin: Thanks, Kanon. I appreciate that.

Kanon: Though I must say, the tree is a factor I didn’t expect.

Melia: the tree?

Erin: Wait, Kanon, stop.

Kanon: Erin is currently seated on the branch of a rather tall tree.

Kanon: I’m not sure what purpose it serves, but I’m sure it’s productive!

Erin: Kanon, please…

Venam: wait a sec

Venam: didn’t you say she was practicing the trampoline method?

Kanon: She was!

Erin: Kanon.

Melia: and you said the control of the power output was complex, but not specifically in which direction…

Melia: erin, are you stuck in a tree?!

Erin: No.

Melia: erin…

Erin: Okay, fine, yes.

Erin: I put too much power into the barrier and it launched me into a tree.

Erin: Don’t laugh.

Melia: i’m not!

Venam: she is

Venam: really loudly actually

Venam: like, im talkin saki levels of cackling

Melia: traitor!

Kanon: Oh. So it wasn’t training?

Erin: No.

Kanon: But you’ve been up there for three hours now!

Venam: mel’s rolling around on the floor now

Venam: just so you know

Venam: [she’sgonnarunoutofair.jpg]

Aiden: why don’t you just climb down

Aiden: aelita does it all the time

Erin: Not all of us are built like Amazons like she is.

Erin: I’d rather not break my leg, thanks.

Venam: you could have yelled for help?

Erin: I’d be sacrificing my dignity instead.

Erin: I’d rather give up the leg.

Kanon: Oh! I can help get you down!

Erin: Actually, yeah. If you just grabbed one of my Pokemon to help out, that’d be great.

Kanon: I have a faster idea!

Erin: Uh oh.

Kanon: You’re not the only one who’s been training! Watch this!

Chapter Text

Group: god’s favorite punching bags

Erin: Kanon.

Kanon: …Yes?

Erin: You’re in the tree with me.

Kanon: I am.

Erin: Why , exactly, are you in the tree with me?

Kanon: I intended to warp to you, and then take us both back down with another warp.

Erin: Kanon. 

Erin: You are several gigantic branches away from me.

Kanon: I’m sorry! It’s hard to aim my warps!

Aiden: can’t you just warp to her now

Aiden: or warp down and get help

Kanon: I would, but I may have overestimated how much energy I had left for warps…

Erin: Did you at least bring any Pokemon with you?

Kanon: Unfortunately not.

Erin: Well, isn’t this just great .

Erin: Now we’re both stuck in a tree.

Kanon: It’s not so bad!

Kanon: The view is quite nice from so high up.

Venam: why are y’all still texting, can’t you just talk irl

Kanon: Erin mentioned being uncomfortable with shouting for help.

Kanon: I assumed that shouting to talk to her would be similar, so I avoided it.

Erin: You’d be right about that.

Erin: Where was this awareness before you got stuck in the tree?

Kanon: I’m sorry!

Kanon: I’ll make sure to practice warping more accurately next time.

Erin: Why can you warp to me, anyway?

Erin: I thought you could only warp to your Masters or people close to them.

Erin: Alex is alright, but her and I aren’t particularly close.

Kanon: As a Servant, those were my limitations.

Kanon: But after being freed from my mental burden of servitude, I realized that I kept my warping ability!

Kanon: I’ve been working on being able to warp to the people close to me, but without the direct connection that I have with my Masters, it’s not nearly as efficient or accurate.

Kanon: Right now, I can only warp to your general area, with no guarantees of exactly where I land.

Erin: I can see that.

Kanon: All things considered, though, this really isn’t such a bad place to end up.

Kanon: These pink leaves are fascinating! I’ve never seen them this close!

Aiden: pink?

Aiden: is that tree bigger than the rest of the trees by a lot?

Kanon: It is.

Aiden: oh you’re on the big blossom, nice

Erin: Big blossom?

Aiden: tallest tree in sheridan and the surrounding area

Aiden: it’s aelita’s favorite

Aiden: great place for naps 

Erin: Seems like a great place to fall to your death while napping, too.

Aiden: the fall isn’t that bad

Melia: and you know this…how?

Aiden: yes

Kanon: I’ll have to try that sometime!

Kanon: The napping, that is. Not the falling and dying.

Erin: You’re awfully chipper about this.

Kanon: Chipper?

Venam: happy

Kanon: Oh! Well, of course I am!

Erin: How is this, in any way, a good thing?

Kanon: It’s a new experience!

Kanon: I’ve never climbed a tree before, so now I know that I quite like being atop one.

Kanon: It’s another opportunity to discover what I do or don’t like!

Erin: Well, good for you, then.

Erin: We still need to get down, though.

Aiden: wait

Aiden: stay in the tree

Erin: What.

Aiden: trust me

Aiden: it’s late afternoon

Aiden: stay where you are and watch the horizon

Erin: What are you talking about?

Kanon: This sounds like it’s building up to another new experience!

Aiden: should be right around now

Melia: why are you making them watch the sky, exactly?

Venam: is arceus gonna come down and get them out of the tree or something

Aiden: no

Aiden: the big blossom is the best place to watch the sunset

---

Kanon: This is incredible!

Erin: …Yeah, this is beautiful. I can’t even deny it.

Erin: Makes me miss Rose Theatre.

Kanon: I’ve decided that I like watching sunsets!

Kanon: Especially watching them with a friend!

Melia: good for you, kanon!

Venam: sounds pretty rad

Venam: i should visit sometime

Aelita: Hey, guys! What’d I miss?

Aiden: erin and kanon are watching a big blossom sunset

Aelita: Oh, yay!

Aelita: Isn’t it amazing?!

Kanon: It is!

Erin: Yeah.

Erin: We’re still stuck here, though.

Aelita: Oh, you can just take the stairs to get down.

Erin: The what .

Aelita: Ever since I was a kid, I always loved climbing Big Blossom.

Aelita: But I was always too scared to climb back down.

Aelita: Dad couldn’t stop me from climbing, so instead he carved out a little staircase in the trunk for me to use to get down safely.

Aelita: It’s a bit steep, but it’s perfectly safe, so don’t worry!

Kanon: Ah, is that what the odd grooves in the wood are for?

Erin: You knew they were there???

Kanon: Yes? I assumed they were decorative.

Erin: You didn’t think to tell me that there was a staircase the entire time?!

Kanon: Well, excuse me for not knowing to look for a random staircase in the trunk of a random tree in the middle of a random forest.

Kanon: Truly, I should’ve known better.

Aelita: …

Melia: …

Aiden: …

Venam: …holy shit????

Venam: …dude, was that sass?????

Venam: im so proud, what the hell?????

Kanon: It was! Was it effective?

Venam: depends

Venam: what does erin look like right now

Kanon: It’s hard to tell from this distance, but she hasn’t yelled at me yet.

Kanon: Does this mean I succeeded?

Melia: it looks like you’re rubbing off on kanon more than you thought, erin~

Erin: I’m not going to yell at you.

Erin: At least I have confirmation that you’re not a servant anymore. I doubt even Nymiera would have let that slide.

Kanon: Actually, she did! Several times!

Kanon: In hindsight, I think she found it amusing.

Kanon: Regardless, yes, I’m definitely a Servant no longer! I’m just your friend.

Kanon: But for what it’s worth, I’m sorry for not even trying to point it out.

Kanon: You ended up wasting valuable time in this tree.

Erin: …No, it’s fine.

Erin: The sunset made it worth it.

Kanon: I’m glad to hear that!

Kanon: Perhaps you’d enjoy watching it with a close friend next time too!

Erin: Ignoring the implication of a “next time” when it comes to getting stuck in a tree…

Erin: I just did that.

Erin: I watched it with you, didn’t I?

---

Group: penthouse pals

doctor who-ey: guys kanon hasn’t stopped smiling in, like, 3 days???

doctor who-ey: is he broken???? 

doctor who-ey: how do you fix a magic spell person?????

doctor who-ey: what do i doooo???!!!??!?!

Chapter Text

Group: don’t give an amnesiac teenager a yacht without supervision

Aiden: hey

Aiden: could i ask for a favor

Amber: What’s up?

Aiden: could you teach me how to cook

Amber: HOLY SHIT

Amber: FINALLY

Amber: I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE

Tesla: No you haven’t, dear. 

Tesla: And watch your language in the chat, please.

Tesla: But that’s wonderful, Aiden!

Tesla: What brought this on?

Amber: Yeah, actually.

Aiden: i wanted to make something for aelita

Tesla: Oh, that’s sweet of you!

Amber: Aww, that’s kinda cute.

Tesla: I can hear your squeal from my office, sweetie.

Tesla: My sound-dampening office.

Tesla: You can admit it’s more than kind of cute, you know.

Amber: OKAY FINE

Amber: THAT’S FUCKING ADORABLE

Amber: YOU TWO ARE SO CUUUUUUTE

Aiden: …thanks?

Amber: I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO KISS AND GET MARRIED AND HAVE A DOZEN FREAKISHLY STRONG BABIES

Aiden: um

Amber: I BETTER BE GODMOTHER TO AT LEAST ONE OF THEM BY THE WAY

Amber: I’M ACTUALLY GONNA START A CITY FIRE IF I’M NOT

Aiden: what is happening right now

Tesla: You’ll have to forgive her. 

Tesla: She can get very…enthusiastic about things she finds cute, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.

Amber: Mom! Don’t embarrass me!

Tesla: I’ve done no such thing.

Tesla: You, on the other hand…

Amber: UGHHHH

Amber: I liked you better when you didn’t pay attention to me.

Aiden: no you didn’t

Amber: Yeah, I didn’t…

Amber: But seriously, you two are such a cute couple, it’s insane.

Aiden: we’re not a couple

Amber: Bullshit.

Tesla: Amber.

Amber: Bullcrap.

Tesla: Good enough.

Aiden: i’m serious

Amber: Okay, fine , I’ll believe that.

Amber: But I know you like her.

Amber: And I’ll bet the resort that she likes you too.

Tesla: Please don’t bet the resort, Amber.

Tesla: And don’t be too pushy, either. You might be making him uncomfortable.

Tesla: We talked about this, remember?

Amber: Shit.

Amber: Sorry if that was too much, man.

Aiden: it’s okay

Aiden: i don’t know exactly how i feel yet either

Aiden: there’s been too much going on

Tesla: And that’s perfectly alright. It’s different for everyone.

Tesla: Take your time, dear.

Amber: Yeah man.

Amber: Feelings suck, I get it.

Tesla: Not always.

Tesla: They can be wonderful, too.

Tesla: But I have to admit, the idea of either of you being in romantic relationships has me feeling emotional...

Amber: Moooom…

Amber: He’s not even your kid!

Tesla: He doesn’t have to be for me to care about him like he is.

Tesla: With his consent, of course, but we had our own talk about this already.

Aiden: yep

Amber: Don’t you need my consent too???

Tesla: Of course. I planned to bring it up with you sometime soon, but this is as good a time as any.

Tesla: And while I know you resent whenever I make assumptions about you, I hope you’ll forgive me this time for assuming that you wouldn’t mind.

Tesla: I had a good feeling about that one.

Amber: …Well, you’re not wrong, I guess…

Aiden: did i just get adopted

Tesla: Not quite.

Tesla: As much as I would like to, I think a certain truck driver has first dibs on that.

Tesla: But this works just as well.

Aiden: …thanks

Aiden: that means a lot

Amber: Besides, once you marry Aelita you’ll be my cousin-in-law anyway! 

Amber: It all works out!

Aiden: i take it back, this sucks

Amber: Give me more fluff!

Tesla: I’m glad you’re taking so well to having a sibling figure, Amber.

Tesla: I would hope so, after how much you begged us for a little sibling as a child.

Amber: MOM NO

Tesla: Oh, you were so adorable!

Tesla: You used to pretend your doll was your little sister.

Tesla: You would feed her and change her diapers…

Tesla: Even your father couldn’t resist how cute you were then!

Amber: MOOOOOOM

Aiden: aww

Amber: SHUT UP 

Tesla: Unfortunately, we never were blessed with another baby even if we tried.

Amber: Oh thank god it’s over

Tesla: And we tried plenty of times, believe me.

Amber: OH MY GOD

Amber: I NEED OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION RIGHT FUCKING NOW

Amber: I WOULD LITERALLY RATHER GET KIDNAPPED AGAIN THAN LISTEN TO THIS

Aiden: please don’t

Aiden: i don’t wanna fight kyogre again

Tesla: …What do you mean, fight Kyogre?

Aiden: when i went to save you guys

Aiden: there was some magic stuff

Aiden: and then i fought kyogre

Amber: YOU FOUGHT A FUCKING KYOGRE????!?!!

Aiden: yeah

Aiden: so are you gonna help me cook

Amber: FORGET THAT

Amber: WHEN WERE YOU GONNA TELL US THAT YOU THREW HANDS WITH THE GOD OF THE FUCKING SEA?????

Aiden: i did

Amber: YOU SAID YOU FOUGHT “””A BIG FISH”””

Aiden: well it looked pretty big to me

Amber: THAT IS

Amber: NOT THE POINT

Tesla: Are you sure it was a Kyogre?

Tesla: It might have been another large Water Pokemon.

Aiden: it was light blue

Aiden: it had big fins with weird red lines on them

Aiden: that’s what truck guy said it was, anyway

Aiden: and he never lies

Tesla: Oh dear god, you fought a Kyogre.

Tesla: How did you manage to beat a Kyogre?!

Tesla: Not that I doubt your battling ability, but even an Elite Eight member would struggle against a Pokemon like that!

Aiden: i didn’t really win

Aiden: i just hit it until it got bored and left

Amber: WHAT THE FUCK

Tesla: But…were you alright? Were you safe?

Aiden: yeah i was fine

Tesla: Oh, that’s good…

Amber: Oh no, you don’t!

Amber: Venam gave me the rundown on you.

Amber: Your sense of safety is skewed as hell.

Amber: Here’s the real question: how much damage did you and your Pokemon take in the fight?

Aiden: my pokemon were just really tired, but they were safe at the end of it

Amber: And you ?

Aiden: …i didn’t die?

Amber: INJURY LIST.

Amber: NOW.

Aiden: but you said you don’t like text dumps in the chat

Tesla: Oh, no…

Aiden: it was fine

Aiden: i only drowned a little bit

Amber: YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE DROWNED AT ALL YOU DUMBASS

Tesla: Yes, you really shouldn’t have.

Tesla: You two are going to turn all my hair gray before I’m 50, I swear…

Aiden: it really wasn’t that bad

Aiden: i’ve dealt with worse

Tesla: That is not reassuring in the slightest.

Amber: Oh, what, now you’re gonna tell us that you’ve fought Groudon too?!

Aiden: yeah, how’d you know

Amber: GODDAMMIT

Amber: How many legendaries have you fought?!

Aiden: give me a sec to count

Amber: WHY DO YOU NEED TIME TO COUNT

Aiden: i can’t remember

Aiden: around 10?

Amber: …

Tesla: …

Amber: Dude, how are you still alive?

Aiden: i kinda wasn’t for a bit

Aiden: there was a giratina and a volcano

Aiden: it was this whole thing

Aiden: anyway seriously can you teach me how to cook 

---

Private Message: Amber

Amber: Mom.

You: Yes, dear?

Amber: We’re adopting him.

Amber: Tomorrow.

You: We are. 

You: Only as one of his legal guardians, though.

You: If he was legally my son, that would make things with Aelita a tad awkward.

Amber: Duh.

Amber: I can wait till their wedding to be related to him.

You: You're awfully certain about that wedding.

Amber: And you're not?

You: Fair enough.

You: Would you like to help me with the paperwork?

Amber: UGHHH fine.

Amber: I’ll be there in 10.

---

Group: don’t give an amnesiac teenager a yacht without supervision

Aiden: …so, you’re not gonna teach me how to cook?

Chapter Text

Group: god’s favorite punching bags

Venam: guys

Venam: i figured it out

Ren: Uh oh.

Melia: what exactly did you figure out, venam?

Venam: how to beat team xen

Kanon: That’s wonderful!

Erin: Somehow, I doubt that.

Venam: all we need to do

Venam: is start a band

Erin: And there it is.

Melia: venam…

Kanon: I’m confused. How exactly would that help?

Ren: It wouldn’t.

Ren: Venam’s just being Venam again.

Venam: fuck you, my plan is great

Aiden: what’s a band

Venam: how the fuck do you not know what a band is???

Aiden: 

Venam: right, amnesia, my bad

Venam: wait you sent a message with nothing attached????

Venam: how the hell did you do that????

Venam: and why does it feel like you’re judging me????

Aelita: Oh, he is.

Aelita: That’s his “I know the answer to what you’re saying but I’m going to let you figure it out for yourself because it should be obvious” silence.

Aelita: Not the worst one by far, but not my favorite, either.

Melia: …he has different kinds of silences?

Erin: And you can tell them apart?

Ren: Even over texts?

Aelita: Of course!

Aelita: He’s expressive like that.

Venam: expressive???

Venam: dude barely talks irl as is

Aelita: So?

Aelita: People communicate through more than just words, you know.

Aelita: It’s just a matter of paying attention.

Venam: that’s some pretty good advice actually

Venam: who the fuck told you you’d be a shitty sensei

Venam: ill kick their asses

Aiden: get in line

Aiden: also what is a band

Venam: it’s basically a group of people who play instruments together

Aiden: oh like the string thing you have

Venam: it’s called a guitar

Venam: but “string thing” is funny as hell, im stealing that

Aiden: that wouldn’t help beat team xen 

Venam: ughhh you guys are lameeeee

Venam: fine, it wouldn’t

Venam: but it would still be pretty sick if we formed one

Ren: How would that even work?

Ren: As far as I’m aware, you’re the only musical one among all of us.

Venam: mel plays the piano

Erin: You do?

Melia: that was years ago! 

Melia: i’m nowhere near as skilled as you!

Venam: who gives a shit?

Venam: music is music

Venam: if it makes you happy, doesn’t matter if you’re a pro or a beginner

Ren: …Wow, that was actually good advice.

Ren: Who knew you had that in you?

Venam: i know, im awesome

Ren: Sure. Whatever you say.

Venam: talk all you want

Venam: i know YOU don’t play an instrument, that’s for damn sure

Ren: Hey! I do too!

Ren: Remember 5 years ago?

Venam: THAT DOESN’T FUCKING COUNT

Melia: DON’T YOU DARE MENTION THAT EVER AGAIN

Aelita: Woah!

Kanon: What instrument could possibly cause such a violent reaction?

Venam: only the worst instrument ever made

Melia: the recorder .

Ren: C’mon, guys! I wasn’t that bad!

Melia: [hewontstopohgod.mp4]

Erin: Oh, that sounds terrible.

Kanon: What a grating sound… 

Ren: Why do you still have that?!

Ren: You said you deleted it!

Venam: i did

Melia: but i didn’t!

Ren: Why would you even keep it, then?!

Melia: for this exact scenario

Melia: so that you could never convince anyone to play it like you did

Erin: Are you sure it was the recorder’s fault, and not just a skill issue on Ren’s part?

Venam: i dunno

Venam: probably both

Ren: Really feeling the love, guys…

Venam: @Aiden @Aelita you guys seem pretty chill about it

Venam: don’t tell me you think it sounds good

Aiden: oh no, it sucks

Ren: Oh, come on!

Aelita: Yeah, it’s a bit…shrill.

Aelita: But it’s a soothing melody compared to hearing the orange rat talk, so I guess we just built up a better resistance.

Kanon: The orange rat?

Aiden: texen

Aiden: tried to take over sheridan a while back

Aiden: aelita swept his team and then suplexed him

Aiden: it was great

Melia: ah.

Venam: well sounds like i’d rather not talk about him ever, so let’s move on

Venam: who else can play an instrument

Aiden: i think amber wants to teach me how to play one

Aiden: called it “found family bonding time” and refused to elaborate

Venam: maybe your pokemon could be your instrument

Venam: does your silvally have a music module

Aiden: why would silvally need to play music

Venam: for the vibes, duh

Aelita: Oh, Amber did that for you, too?

Aelita: She all but dragged me into her music room once she found out we were cousins.

Aelita: I like the drums in particular! They really get my blood pumping!

Aiden: don’t you have the other one too

Aiden: it was like a recorder but didn’t sound like saki trying to sing

Ren: Somehow that one hurts the most…

Aelita: Oh, the flute?

Aelita: I’m not sure that counts. I’m not all that good…

Aiden: you are

Aiden: remember that one time when i had nightmares for a week

Melia: when you what?!

Aelita: Of course I do.

Aelita: I was so happy when you woke up finally feeling refreshed!

Aiden: i fell asleep because of your flute

Aiden: and your humming

Aiden: it made me feel safe

Aelita: Oh…

Venam: ok im sick of people flirting in all the chats im in

Venam: get a room you horny fucks

Aelita: What?!

Ren: Hypocrite.

Venam: fuck off

Melia: What?!

Ren: Let’s just move on before you break their brains.

Ren: Again.

Venam: fine

Venam: anyone else?

Kanon: I never had the time or will to learn, unfortunately.

Kanon: Though perhaps I might now. It seems very fun!

Erin: Not me, either.

Erin: Only ever had my books and my thoughts.

Venam: you can be our manager

Venam: do the paperwork and shit

Erin: Oh, joy.

Kanon: How can I contribute to this band?

Venam: can you hold other things when you teleport

Kanon: As long as I can lift them in my arms normally, then usually, yes.

Venam: rad

Venam: you can be our stage assistant

Kanon: Stage assistant?

Venam: you hand us instruments and fix wires and all that stuff while we’re onstage

Venam: except you would be better at it than anyone else bc you can be anywhere you need to be instantly

Kanon: That sounds nice!

Kanon: And I do have plenty of experience with assisting. A perfect fit!

Venam: now all we need is a singer

Ren: Wouldn’t that be you?

Venam: duh

Venam: but it wouldn’t be as fun if it was just me

Ren: Well, I’d like to think I can hold a tune just fine.

Erin: After the recorder performance, I’m a bit wary now.

Venam: nah it’s true, renny boy here ain’t a half bad singer

Ren: That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.

Ren: But never call me “Renny boy” again.

Venam: sure thing, renny boy

Ren: I really hate you sometimes…

Melia: well, i can’t say im all that good a singer

Venam: bullshit

Venam: i’ve heard you sing

Venam: you sound like a fuckin angel without even trying

Venam: kinda unfair ngl

Aiden: now who’s horny

Venam: FUCK OFF

Ren: You really do have a nice voice, though, Melia.

Kanon: I agree!

Kanon: I heard you in the restaurant all the time during our time as Storm Chasers.

Kanon: The regulars always liked listening to you sing!

Melia: i did that?!

Kanon: Yes!

Kanon: Perhaps it runs in the family.

Venam: wait

Venam: erin can sing?

Erin: No, I can’t.

Kanon: Yes, you can!

Kanon: I heard you in the lobby of the Rose Theatre.

Kanon: You were very pleasant to listen to.

Erin: You were spying on me?

Kanon: Of course not! I’d been in the room with you for a full hour by then.

Kanon: It was as if you forgot I was there.

Erin: Well, that’s embarrassing…

Melia: no, that’s wonderful, erin!

Melia: don’t be ashamed!

Ren: Same goes for you, too, Melia.

Melia: i guess so…

Venam: what about kanon?

Kanon: Oh, I’m afraid not.

Ren: C’mon man, don’t knock it till you try it.

Kanon: I have tried in the past, actually.

Kanon: I made the infant Kreiss cry in fear.

Kanon: It was the only thing Lady Nymiera ever explicitly forbade me from.

Venam: yeeeesh

Aiden: aelita can sing

Aiden: she’s really good

Aelita: Oh, stop it...

Aelita: Besides, it’s you we should be talking about!

Melia: oh?

Ren: Wait, what?

Venam: you’re shitting me

Venam: aiden can sing????

Aiden: i can sing?

Venam: did you forget the part where he barely even talks???

Aelita: You can.

Aelita: Not very loudly, naturally, but your voice is just as soothing as you claim mine is!

Aiden: when have i ever sung in my life

Aelita: I hear you sing lullabies to your Pokemon to help them sleep, even if you’re dead tired yourself.

Aelita: Especially for Silvally.

Aiden: …you noticed?

Aelita: Of course.

Venam: damn i never would have guessed

Venam: i gotta hear that sometime

Venam: but either way, we’ve got more than enough to start a band

Ren: You’re oddly passionate about this, Venam.

Venam: it’s a neat idea, what’s your problem

Melia: no, he’s right

Melia: you don’t usually indulge these kinds of fleeting thoughts, venam

Melia: you always say you’re too lazy for them

Melia: sometimes you even say that for your own music

Melia: this is unusual for you

Venam: dammit guys, stop knowing me so well

Ren: Nah.

Melia: not on my life.

Melia: you can tell us if you want to, venam. this is a safe place

Erin: Yeah. If I made fun of you and your issues, I’d be a hypocrite myself.

Kanon: I am always happy to lend an ear to my friends!

Aelita: Yeah! We’re here for you!

Aiden: yep

Venam: ok fine

Venam: music helped me cope with a really shitty part of my life

Venam: you guys have been dealing with gods and superpowers and prophecies for months now

Venam: and im just a regular bitch who’s always too weak to help

Venam: figured the least i could do was give you something that might help you like it helped me

Melia: oh, venam…

Ren: You have been helping, though.

Ren: You kicked my butt into gear when I was moping after Melia got taken.

Erin: You care about my sister. That says enough for me.

Kanon: You treat me like any other person, despite your initial misgivings. It’s much appreciated!

Aelita: It’s fun to be around you, too! Us purple hair gals gotta stick together!

Aiden: you faced your flaws and changed for the better

Aiden: that’s more than most people in our lives can say

Melia: you see, venam?

Melia: you’re more important than you realize

Melia: even this entire conversation has been a way to help us take our minds off of things, hasn’t it?

Melia: what kind of “regular bitch” would go so far for her friends?

Venam: goddammit

Venam: you guys are gonna fucking make me cry

Venam: i demand compensation

Ren: And what would that be?

Venam: i better see y’all at my house tomorrow

Venam: we’re gonna jam the fuck out

Venam: and besides

Venam: …i can’t hug the shit out of all of you over texts

Erin: We’ll be there. Won’t we, Kanon?

Kanon: One warp to a friend, coming right up!

Aelita: We’ll be there too! I’ll bring my flute!

Aiden: i’d better go see if silvally actually does have a music module

Ren: Alright, looks like a party!

Melia: see you tomorrow! :) 

Venam: hell yeah

Venam: let’s blow the roof off of the place!

Chapter Text

Lavender: Hello everyone! 

Lavender: Huey and I are debating something and we wanted to get your opinion on it.

Lavender: Have any of you heard of the Trolley Problem?

Melia: that’s the one where you have to choose to move the track or not, right?

Lavender: That’s the one!

Erin: I’ve read about it before.

Venam: never heard of it

Aelita: Me neither. 

Ren: I don’t remember anything like that.

Aiden: what’s that

Lavender: It’s a popular ethical dilemma!

Lavender: It goes like this: an out-of-control trolley is speeding down a track.

Aiden: what’s a trolley

Aelita: What’s a trolley?

Erin: Think a small train.

Aiden: okay

Aelita: Got it! 

Aelita: Sorry, go ahead.

Lavender: The trolley is on course to run over five people who are tied to the track, killing them all.

Venam: goddamn 

Ren: Who ties people to train tracks???

Lavender: However, you, an observer, are next to a lever that changes the trolley’s course to another track, where only one person is tied down instead.

Lavender: Do you flick the lever and let one die, or stay put and let the five die instead?

Melia: that’s…a lot more morbid than i remember

Ren: This is the stuff they’re teaching in school these days?

Ren: Should I be worried for Reina?

Lavender: No! It’s just idle curiosity on our part.

Erin: Somehow that’s even worse.

Lavender: C’monnnn what are your answers?

Venam: you’re really pumped about this

Lavender: Of course! What’s more fun than ethical debates?

Venam: i can think of a few things

Ren: Well, I guess you pull the lever, right?

Ren: Less casualties overall.

Aelita: But that one person’s life would still be lost…

Melia: well, between one death and five, i'll definitely take one

Venam: im out of this one

Venam: listen 

Venam: if some idiots decide to get tied to a train track and get run over, then that ain’t my business

Erin: I’d pass.

Erin: I’d rather not be responsible for someone’s death.

Ren: So you value not being held responsible over saving more lives?

Aelita: I don’t think it’s about just that.

Aelita: If you let the trolley go, that’s not your fault, since it was already happening.

Aelita: But if you use the switch, you’re consciously deciding that the life on one side is more valuable than the life on the other.

Aelita: I don’t think I have the right to make that decision…

Ren: So you’d just let more people die?

Melia: wouldn’t saving more people be better?

Erin: Who’s to say that the five lives are more valuable than the one?

Ren: I assumed each life was equal?

Erin: Maybe, but these are people we’re talking about. It’s never that simple.

Aelita: And even if they were equal, it’s like…you’re treating them like they’re just numbers!

Aelita: Of course I want to save more people, but it can’t just be up to me!

Melia: i figured it wasn’t a problem because this is all just hypothetical…

Erin: But it thinks about our morals, which we apply to real life.

Ren: I’m still confused. In the hypothetical scenario, just temporarily assuming all lives are equal, then isn’t saving the greater collective life more important?

Erin: You only think that the lives are all equal based on what you can see.

Erin: What if the one person was one of us?

Lavender: Um, that’s not in the original problem…

Ren: Well, I’d obviously save you!

Erin: What about the “collective life”, then?

Ren: Well…

Aelita: @Aiden What about you? You’ve been awfully quiet.

Aelita: Which option would you choose?

Aiden: neither

Melia: so you would do nothing too…?

Aiden: no

Aelita: So you would…pull the lever…?

Aiden: no

Venam: well what the fuck would you do then???

Aiden: blow up the trolley

Melia: what?!

Aelita: Of course you would…

Ren: I don’t think that’s allowed.

Aiden: i wasn’t allowed in the xen bases either

Aiden: guess what i did

Erin: …You went in the Xen bases?

Aiden: i went in the xen bases

Melia: you can’t just bend the rules like that!

Aiden: i’m the interceptor

Aiden: i’m pretty sure i exist to bend the rules

Lavender: That’s not what this problem is for!

Aelita: What if the driver was still in the trolley? You would kill them instead!

Aiden: they didn’t say there was a driver

Ren: They didn’t say you could blow up the trolley, either.

Aiden: then why would the driver still be in the trolley

Aiden: it’s going to crash at some point

Aiden: i’d just jump out

Venam: you’d break a shit ton of bones

Aiden: it’s fine, i’m used to it

Erin: That really isn’t the point, I think.

Lavender: Thank you!

Melia: the driver could be trapped in the trolley?

Aiden: then i’m freeing them and throwing them out first

Aiden: then i blow up the trolley

Ren: What kind of SAW-esque torture situation is this…?

Venam: who cares, it’s hilarious

Ren: Hang on, if we’re bending the rules of the trolley, then can’t we bend the rules of the people on the tracks too?

Melia: that’s true. what if it was five of us on one end and Madame X on the other?

Melia: then the decision would be a lot easier!

Erin: You’re alright with Madame X’s blood on your hands?

Melia: yes.

Erin: …Well, okay then.

Lavender: How did we get here…?

Venam: why are y’all assuming that bitch x would go down to a runaway trolley

Venam: she’s got a whole ass yveltal

Aiden: what if the trolley had xerneas on it

Lavender: Oh, my god…

Aelita: Wouldn’t they just cancel out, then?

Aelita: They’re perfect opposites: life and death.

Aiden: no

Aiden: cause i would also be on the trolley

Ren: How the heck would Madame X, leader of Aevium’s most sinister organization, end up tied to train tracks anyway?

Venam: isn’t it obvious?

Venam: another trolley, duh

Melia: another one?!

Aiden: can i blow that one up, too

Aelita: No! If it ties Madame X to the track, then she’s an easy target from there!

Aiden: you’re right

Aiden: …

Aiden: …can i blow it up after

Lavender: Arceus, save me…

Chapter Text

Private Message: Aelita Royer

Aelita: Good morning!

Aiden: not a good morning

Aiden: socks fell asleep on my face

Aelita: I thought you liked cuddling with Socks?

Aiden: i do

Aiden: i also like breathing

Aelita: Let me guess.

Aelita: You didn’t want to wake him up because you’re really protective of him and want him to have as peaceful of a day as possible?

Aiden: get out of my head

Aelita: Awww, that’s cute!

Aelita: But if you’re still sleepy, then just go back to sleep.

Aiden: i’m gonna go for a walk

Aiden: the weather’s nice

Aiden: uh, what about you

Aiden: do you have plans

Aelita: A lot of them, actually!

Aelita: It’s looking like a busy week for the inn, so I’m heading there first to help them set up.

Aiden: nice

Aiden: have fun

Aelita: Thank you! 

Aelita: Enjoy your walk!

---

Aelita: Great news!

Aelita: The inn is doing even better than we expected!

Aelita: Every room is taken!

Aelita: Except for yours, of course.

Aiden: why isn’t my room taken

Aelita: Uh, because it’s yours, obviously.

Aiden: can’t you earn more money if you use my room

Aelita: That doesn’t matter.

Aelita: We said you would always have a home in Sheridan, and we meant it.

Aelita: Unless you don’t want it anymore, that room will always be yours.

Aiden: i do want it

Aiden: but i don’t want to get in the way

Aiden: at least let me pay for it

Aiden: nobody ever lets me pay for things in sheridan

Aelita: Well, obviously not!

Aiden: ?

Aelita: The village is still standing mostly because of you.

Aelita: You’ve saved everyone’s lives.

Aelita: Mine more than once!

Aelita: Giving you all this is the least we could do to pay you back.

Aiden: feels wrong

Aiden: i just did the right thing

Aiden: doesn’t make me special

Aelita: And that’s exactly why we don’t make you pay.

Aiden: i’m not winning this, am i?

Aelita: Nope! :D

Aiden: another crushing defeat for the interceptor

Aiden: it’s a cruel world

Aelita: You’ve spent too much time around Venam.

---

Aelita: There was a crazy incident in the sparring matches today!

Aiden: ?

Aelita: Someone tried to pull off a combo move.

Aelita: They used Poison Gas and then lit it up with Flame Burst.

Aelita: We have to repair that arena now…

Aiden: woah

Aelita: No one was hurt, thankfully.

Aiden: that must have been so cool

Aelita: It was dangerous!

Aiden: you thought it was cool too, didn’t you?

Aelita: …Well, maybe a little bit…

Aelita: But I have to set a good example! I can’t encourage those kinds of dangerous strategies!!!

Aiden: you’re sure?

Aelita: Yeah!

Aiden: really sure?

Aelita: One hundred percent!

Aiden: okay then

Aiden: …

Aelita: …

Aiden: you know i bet blaziken could do something like that with venam’s help

Aelita: You think so?!

Aiden: yep 

Aiden: hood already can

Aiden: and they’re both fire/fighting types

Aelita: Tell me everything!!!

Aiden: thought so

---

Aiden: eat

Aelita: I’m sorry?

Aiden: it’s the afternoon already

Aiden: you should eat

Aelita: How do you know that I haven’t eaten yet?

Aiden: because i know you

Aiden: you always forget to eat lunch on busy days

Aelita: I didn’t even realize what time it was, geez.

Aelita: I’ll stop by home to fix something up quick.

Aelita: You should eat too!

Aiden: i already did

Aelita: How much?

Aiden: enough

Aelita: One slice of bread isn’t enough, Aiden!

Aiden: how did you know i only had a slice of bread

Aelita: You’re not the only one who knows things, you know?

Aelita: You only go for walks when you feel restless.

Aelita: And you don’t eat much when you’re restless.

Aelita: And since you’re in East Gearen, you probably went down to that bakery you like and just grabbed the free bread they’ve got. 

Aiden: wow

Aiden: is that some kind of sensei power

Aelita: Nope! 

Aelita: I just know my best friend.

Aiden: i’m your best friend?

Aelita: Obviously!

Aiden: cool

Aiden: you’re my best friend too

Aelita: Thanks!

Aelita: Now go get a sandwich! 

Aiden: yes ma’am

---

Aiden: you know a lot about plants right

Aelita: A little bit?

Aiden: are there types of trees that set themselves on fire

Aelita: Not any that I know of.

Aelita: Why do you ask?

Aiden: because i’m standing in front of a tree on fire

Aiden: i’m not sure if it’s supposed to be doing that

Aelita: …It’s probably not.

Aelita: You should probably extinguish that.

Aiden: are you sure

Aiden: it’s just this one tree

Aiden: it seems unique

Aiden: organized

Aiden: and there isn’t even any other fire nearby

Aiden: [firetree.jpg]

Aelita: Oh, wow, that’s so pretty!

Aelita: In a weird, intimidating kind of way.

Aelita: And it does look really neat, you’re right!

Aelita: That’s amazing! I didn’t know something like that even existed!

Aiden: cool it’s spreading

Aelita: Wait, what?

Aiden: now there’s more of them 

Aiden: looked better when it was just the one though

Aiden: [lookatallthosetrees.jpg]

Aelita: Aiden that’s a forest fire!!!

Aiden: …oh

Aiden: i should probably go handle that

Aelita: Please!

Aiden: why do these things always happen to me

---

Aiden: problem solved

Aiden: everything’s fine

Aelita: Are you sure...?

Aiden: well i need a new jacket

Aiden: but yeah everything’s fine

Aelita: You should be more careful!

Aiden: says the girl who climbs up really tall trees all the time

Aelita: Because I have practice! And the physical strength necessary!

Aelita: You’re not fireproof!

Aiden: we don’t know that for sure

Aelita: And I’d rather not find out!

Aiden: wait

Aiden: there’s a path behind the tree

Aelita: Maybe just one of the forest trails?

Aiden: no

Aiden: it’s lined with ash

Aiden: i’m gonna check it out

Aelita: Be careful.

---

Aiden: found the culprit

Aiden: shadow alert

Aelita: Info.

Aiden: shadow sizzlipede

Aiden: curled into a ball

Aiden: scared of hood’s head

Aiden: probably scared of fire but can’t control its own

Aelita: Got it.

Aelita: I’ll put out the torches in the spring.

Aelita: Will you be bringing it here yourself or sending someone?

Aiden: sending swellow over with lycanroc

Aiden: would take too long for me to get there myself

Aelita: Pokeball?

Aiden: heal

Aelita: Confirmation move?

Aiden: accelerock straight up

Aelita: Alright.

Aelita: Don’t worry, I’ll feed the two once they get here.

Aelita: That Sizzlipede will be in good hands!

Aiden: i know

---

Aelita: There’s a strange Pokemon in the daycare pond that no one’s ever seen before, including me.

Aelita: You’ve seen a lot of Pokemon, right? Do you know what this one is?

Aelita: [unknown.jpg]

Aiden: oh it’s mr. fish

Aiden: i was wondering where he went

Aelita: Mr. Fish?

Aiden: well his species name is dracovish

Aiden: but he was so polite that i had to give him a proper name

Aelita: What…is he, exactly?

Aiden: he’s a fish

Aiden: water/dragon type

Aiden: he likes cheese crackers and violence

Aelita: Violence?

Aiden: even silvally is scared of him

Aelita: I thought you said he was polite!

Aiden: he is when he’s not battling

Aiden: he’s great to talk to

Aiden: we bonded over battle plans and existential crises

Aiden: you should talk to him, too, i think it’ll help

Aelita: I can’t understand him like you can, though…

Aiden: it won’t matter

Aiden: trust me

Aelita: Well, I can always do that.

Aelita: And I am taking a break…

Aelita: Alright, then! Here goes nothing.

---

Aelita: Oh my god.

Aiden: mmmhm

Aelita: Oh my god??

Aiden: yyyyep

Aelita: That was

Aelita: He said

Aelita: Oh my god!

Aiden: isn’t he great

Aelita: He made such good points!

Aelita: That part about making the most of what you have in the present moment! 

Aelita: I’d never thought of it like that before!

Aelita: I wish my break was longer, I have so much more to ask him!

Aiden: don’t worry, he’ll be around for a while

Aelita: Oh, also, it’s weird but I feel like he knew me somehow?

Aelita: I don’t think he said my name or anything, but his eyes just seemed to recognize me.

Aelita: I don’t know if I just imagined it.

Aiden: oh

Aiden: um

Aiden: i may have told him about you a few times

Aelita: Oh.

Aelita: I didn’t know you talked about me to your Pokemon?

Aiden: sorry, should i not

Aelita: No, no, it’s fine! I was just surprised.

Aelita: I didn’t even know you had Mr. Fish, and it’s like he already knows me so well!

Aelita: I feel like he could even tell when I was nervous and stuff.

Aiden: that’s weird

Aiden: i didn’t tell him that much

Aiden: maybe hood mentioned something, i’ll go ask him

---

Aiden: ok what the fuck

Aelita: What’s wrong?

Aiden: apparently

Aiden: hood talks about you to every single pokemon i catch

Aelita: What?!

Aelita: Why?!

Aiden: i don’t know

Aiden: apparently he treats it like a rite of passage

Aiden: i’m sorry

Aiden: he never told me about this

Aiden: i had no idea

Aelita: It’s alright, it’s pretty clear that you didn’t know.

Aelita: But I would like to know what he’s saying about me…

Aiden: i’m asking him now

Aiden: he grinned at me and then climbed up a tree

Aiden: that little shit

Aiden: he’s spent too much time around venam

Aelita: Hahaha! Like trainer, like Pokemon!

Aiden: it’s all good things apparently

Aiden: every time i catch a pokemon he just tells them about how amazing you are

Aiden: at least i know he’s telling the truth

Aelita: But why? I’m not all that impressive.

Aiden: you are

Aiden: but it’s still weird 

Aiden: i’m gonna ask him why

Aiden: whatever it is, i’m gonna get him to stop

Aiden: …

Aiden: …oh.

Aelita: Uh oh. 

Aelita: Is it that bad?

Aiden: no

Aiden: um

Aiden: he tells them basic information about me

Aiden: which for some reason includes what inspires me

Aelita: …Oh.

Aelita: And by that, he means…me?

Aiden: …yeah

Aiden: i still made him promise to stop

Aiden: i'm really sorry

Aelita: It's okay, really!

Aelita: But, um...

Aelita: Is it true? 

Aelita: That I inspire you?

Aiden: yeah, of course

Aiden: more than anyone else i know

Aelita: Oh…

Aelita:  Thank you! That means a lot.

Aelita: Especially since you’re a huge inspiration to me too!

Aiden: really?

Aelita: Of course! 

Aelita: You’re pretty much the best thing that’s ever happened to me!

Aiden: oh

Aelita: Oh! 

Aelita: I’m sorry! Was that too much?

Aelita: I meant it but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything!

Aiden: no it’s fine

Aiden: …thanks

Aelita: You’re welcome! Sorry again haha

Aelita: I have to get back to helping out around the village soon.

Aelita: I guess I’ll catch you later?

Aiden: yeah

Aiden: maybe we can talk to mr. fish together once i’m back in sheridan

Aiden: only if you want to though

Aelita: I’d love that!

Aelita: We could make a picnic out of it!

Aiden: sounds good to me

Aiden: see you soon, then

Aiden: :)

Aelita: :)

---

Private Message: Venam Vasile

Aiden: what does it mean when someone tells you that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to them

Venam: dude what the FUCK

Chapter Text

Private Message: Passenger Guy

Truck Guy: Hey, I heard the rain is coming down over there.

Truck Guy: You doing alright?

Passenger Guy: yeah

Passenger Guy: i’m camping out in the inn

Passenger Guy: i can't train

Passenger Guy: aelita’s sick

Passenger Guy: today sucks

Truck Guy: Sorry to hear that.

Truck Guy: Aelita’s that friend of yours with the purple hair, right?

Passenger Guy: there are three of those

Truck Guy: Oh, right.

Truck Guy: She’s the one from there that you’re so fond of, I mean.

Truck Guy: Like, really fond of.

Passenger Guy: of course

Passenger Guy: she’s my best friend, why wouldn’t i be

Truck Guy: …Never mind. You said she was sick?

Passenger Guy: she keeps coughing and sneezing

Passenger Guy: and she sounds all weird and scratchy

Passenger Guy: is she going to die

Passenger Guy: do i need to find a cure

Truck Guy: She’s probably not going to die.

Passenger Guy: probably?

Truck Guy: Okay, she’s definitely not going to die, relax.

Truck Guy: Sounds like a simple cold to me.

Truck Guy: It can happen to anyone, especially in this kind of weather.

Passenger Guy: oh

Passenger Guy: so i don’t need to find a cure?

Truck Guy: Probably not.

Truck Guy: It’ll pass with time and enough rest.

Truck Guy: Besides, I assume her grandma is looking after her, so she should be fine.

Passenger Guy: eldest isn’t here 

Passenger Guy: she went out somewhere

Truck Guy: Damn, that’s some bad timing.

Truck Guy: Who’s taking care of her, then?

Passenger Guy: no one

Passenger Guy: i can’t either

Passenger Guy: i don’t know anything about taking care of a sick person

Passenger Guy: i can’t just ask hood to punch the sickness away

Passenger Guy: …

Passenger Guy: wait can i

Truck Guy: No, you can’t.

Passenger Guy: damn it

Truck Guy: You can still help her out, though.

Truck Guy: Why not make her a soup or something?

Passenger Guy: soup?

Truck Guy: Yeah.

Truck Guy: Nothing like a nice bowl of warm soup when you’re sick!

Truck Guy: It won’t cure her sickness, but it’ll help her feel better, at least.

Passenger Guy: ok

Passenger Guy: i can do that

---

Passenger Guy: i have no idea what i’m doing

Truck Guy: A recipe would be a good place to start.

Truck Guy: But if you don’t have that, you can probably just make a basic vegetable soup.

Passenger Guy: i don’t know what vegetables to add

Passenger Guy: why are there so many

Truck Guy: How’s about you send me some pictures, and we can go from there?

Passenger Guy: [vegetable.jpg]

Passenger Guy: can i use this one

Truck Guy: That’s a banana.

Truck Guy: Nice, but it’s a fruit, so not usually a hot soup ingredient.

Passenger Guy: [anotherone.jpg]

Passenger Guy: what about this 

Truck Guy: …Well, technically , you can make that a soup, but maybe using an entire pumpkin is a bit overkill.

Truck Guy: Why do they even have a whole pumpkin in their kitchen, anyway?

Passenger Guy: oh i got this from outside

Truck Guy: Outside?

Truck Guy: Isn’t it pouring over there?

Truck Guy: Why did you feel the need to go out into the rain to grab a pumpkin???

Passenger Guy: i thought maybe some of the vegetables were too small

Passenger Guy: so i got a bigger one

Truck Guy: Points for effort, but that’s not really how it works.

---

Truck Guy: I forgot to ask: do you actually know how to use a stove top?

Passenger Guy: a bit

Passenger Guy: amber told me how but i didn’t get to actually cook anything

Passenger Guy: this one won’t work though

Passenger Guy: and it got dark all of a sudden

Truck Guy: Damn, the power must have gone out. 

Passenger Guy: but aelita needs soup

Truck Guy: Don’t worry, kid.

Truck Guy: I don’t know her well, but I know she’s a strong girl. I’m sure she’s taken something for it, so she’ll be alright.

Truck Guy: Just some bad luck that you lost your heat source.

Passenger Guy: wait

Passenger Guy: i still have another heat source

Truck Guy: Really? Which one?

Truck Guy: …Wait, kid, no.

Passenger Guy: [stovemonkey.jpg]

Truck Guy: I say this with nothing but concern.

Truck Guy: Please don’t use your Infernape to cook food.

Passenger Guy: but it’s working

Truck Guy: It’s risky!

Truck Guy: It’s not the same as the finer control that appliances give you!

Passenger Guy: he’s really offended that you think the appliances have more control than him

Passenger Guy: he’s cooking a piece of bread using his elbow to prove a point

Passenger Guy: i don’t even know where he got it from

Passenger Guy: [spitetoast.jpg]

Truck Guy: Wow. Shows what I know.

Truck Guy: Tell him I said sorry, then.

Passenger Guy: he sneezed

Passenger Guy: the kitchen is on fire

Truck Guy: What?!

Passenger Guy: why does this always happen

Truck Guy: Forget about that, put it out!

Passenger Guy: seriously, why do fires always start wherever i go

Passenger Guy: even without my fire types

Passenger Guy: if this is another interceptor ability i’m retiring

Passenger Guy: melia gets shiny pokemon and i get spontaneous arson

Passenger Guy: how is that fair

Truck Guy: Aiden.

Truck Guy: The fire.

Passenger Guy: yeah exactly, that’s what i mean

Truck Guy: PUT IT OUT.

Passenger Guy: oh right

Passenger Guy: i don’t have a water type

Passenger Guy: i’ll get silvally to do it

---

Passenger Guy: so

Passenger Guy: i forgot silvally’s only water move is surf

Truck Guy: Uh oh.

Truck Guy: You might want to grab a mop and some towels.

Truck Guy: It’s probably not a good idea to let the wood fixtures stay soaked.

Passenger Guy: why not?

Truck Guy: I used to have wood floors a long time ago, so trust me.

Truck Guy: You really don’t want to know.

Truck Guy: Maybe change Silvally to Fire too to help dry out the area.

Passenger Guy: but i need to make soup

Truck Guy: The soup can wait a bit, don’t you think?

Passenger Guy: no

Passenger Guy: right now aelita’s in bed feeling really lonely 

Passenger Guy: she’ll never admit it but she wants someone to take care of her for once

Truck Guy: That so?

Truck Guy: Not saying you’re wrong or anything, but how do you know that?

Passenger Guy: once she told me that no one else but eldest has ever bothered

Passenger Guy: so right now she thinks no one around cares about her enough to help her

Passenger Guy: and i know what that’s like

Passenger Guy: so i'm going to make her soup if i have to burn this whole inn to the ground

Truck Guy: …You’re really something else, kid.

Truck Guy: I think Silvally can deal with the wet floors on his own, knowing him.

Truck Guy: I just remembered a soup recipe a friend gave me before, maybe you can use that?

Passenger Guy: you’ve never mentioned your friends before

Truck Guy: That’s a story for another time, I’d say.

Truck Guy: How’s about we help your friend first?

Passenger Guy: got it

Truck Guy: Right, so here’s what you do first…

---

Passenger Guy: i took a sip and didn’t die

Passenger Guy: i think it worked

Truck Guy: Nice!

Truck Guy: “Didn’t die” is a bit of a low bar, though.

Passenger Guy: it’s worked for me so far

Truck Guy: …Remind me to take you in for a health check-up sometime soon.

Passenger Guy: i’m fine

Passenger Guy: i haven’t been hurt in three days

Truck Guy: Kid, that’s not a lot of time.

Passenger Guy: it is if you’re the interceptor

Truck Guy: Still can’t say I get all that Interceptor business.

Truck Guy: Just be careful, alright?

Passenger Guy: okay

Passenger Guy: i’m bringing her the soup

---

Passenger Guy: did you know that metal stays hot for a really long while after you heat it up

Passenger Guy: and that you shouldn’t touch it

Truck Guy: Yeah? 

Passenger Guy: i didn’t

Truck Guy: …Kid, you’re killing me over here.

Passenger Guy: i’m not even there 

Truck Guy: Just bring your girlfriend her soup.

Truck Guy: AFTER taking care of whatever burn wounds you have.

Passenger Guy: why does everyone keep saying that

Truck Guy: The burn care or the girlfriend?

Passenger Guy: both

---

Passenger Guy: i think she liked it 

Passenger Guy: she sighed after every sip and sounded happy

Truck Guy: Sounds good.

Truck Guy: That kind of soup on a cold day like this is really soothing, especially when you’re sick.

Truck Guy: It’s a great thing you did for her today, kid. Good job!

Passenger Guy: i think i got something wrong though

Truck Guy: What’s that?

Passenger Guy: i told her why i made the soup

Passenger Guy: and then her face went all red really fast

Passenger Guy: maybe i made it too hot?

Truck Guy: …You know what, I think that’s something for you to figure out.

Truck Guy: But trust me, you did just fine.

Passenger Guy: good

Passenger Guy: oh um

Passenger Guy: thanks

Passenger Guy: for the recipe

Passenger Guy: and the help

Passenger Guy: i

Passenger Guy: appreciate it

Truck Guy: And you’re getting better at showing appreciation, too! 

Truck Guy: Two wins in a day, look at you go!

Passenger Guy: thanks

Truck Guy: Anytime, kid.

Truck Guy: Anytime.

---

He put down his phone, shaking his head in amusement. “Crazy kid. Good thing he’s a sharp one, too,” he chuckled, turning his attention to the crumpled sheet of paper next to him. 

“You would have loved him, y’know,” he mumbled, running a thumb over the smudged instructions. “Bit of a strange one, but he’s got the biggest heart this side of Aevium.” He took just a moment to stare out at the rain pelting his rickety window, and then heaved himself to his feet before his reflection could add to the droplets trickling down the glass. “Sounds a bit familiar, huh?”

Chapter Text

Group: Teila Resort Group Chat

Tesla: Good morning, everyone.

Tesla: I’m sorry, I seem to have overslept. I hope you all had a good sleep here!

Tesla: Oh, am I the only one left in the house?

Valarie: that’s right!!

Valarie: welcome to your day off!!

Tesla: I’m sorry, my day off?

Melia: Yep! No work for you today!

Tesla: Oh.

Tesla: I appreciate the sentiment, and I would love to spend the day with you all, but I really can’t afford to fall behind with these chores, unfortunately.

Tesla: The paperwork alone might take half the day…

Adam: No offense ma’am, but we have strict orders to give you a day off

Melia: Besides, it’s already taken care of! :)

Tesla: …What?

Tesla: How do you mean?

Melia: You’ll find everything in the coffee table on the ground floor! Signatures pending, of course, I didn’t forge anything!

Melia: It’s all sorted by date, place, and expenditures, if applicable. I also made a pile for the faulty ones, so make sure to check those out, too.

Tesla: I’m on the ground floor now.

Tesla: It really is all sorted…but how did you know how to do this?

Melia: Amber told me the basics! It was pretty simple to figure out from there.

Tesla: I can’t believe it!

Tesla: And this sorting method, it’s so familiar to me somehow.

Tesla: Wait, isn’t this…?

Melia: …Yeah.

Melia: Like father, like daughter, huh?

Tesla: It seems so.

Tesla: Thank you so much, Melia! This is such a huge help.

Melia: You’re welcome! Now you can enjoy your day!

Tesla: I would love to, but I still have so much to do.

Tesla: I’ll be going around collecting wellness surveys from the staff this morning, so I might still come across at least one of you, though.

Aelita: Don’t worry, Auntie, I got em!

Tesla: Aelita?

Aelita: I didn’t peek, by the way, but most of the staff couldn’t have a higher opinion of you if they tried.

Aelita: Do you mind if I ask for advice sometime? I know a resort isn’t exactly a village but it’d be great to learn more about leading!

Tesla: Wait, how did you know who to get the surveys from?

Aelita: Amber told me! 

Aelita: From there I just said I was running the errand for you, and everyone was really nice about it!

Aelita: Except that one grumpy lady, I guess.

Adam: She the one who called me a “useless lump of meat”?

Valarie: oh that bitch!! she said there was too much water around!!

Valarie: it’s a RESORT??? what did she expect????

Tesla: I apologize for Lucy.

Tesla: She’s a reliable worker, but not the most..personable, admittedly.

Tesla: Thank you too, though, Aelita!

Tesla: Goodness, don’t tell me the rest of you are handling my other chores, too!

Aelita: Don’t mention it!

Aelita: Oh, I forgot to mention that your data leak’s been patched up too.

Tesla: The one that’s been plaguing us for weeks?! How?!

Adam: Saki obviously

Adam: We just haven’t added her here because she’d drive this chat to hell

Tesla: I was afraid I’d have to hire someone outside Aevium at this rate, to be honest.

Tesla: She always has been very good at that kind of thing. How lucky!

Tesla: Please give her my thanks!

Adam: In other news, your landslide problem should be good now

Adam: There were some loose layers in the walls

Adam: Nothing some Arenite Walls couldn’t fix, should last a long while

Valarie: and none of the local marine pokemon were displaced or harmed, so don’t you worry about that!

Valarie: i checked them over myself! 

Valarie: amber didn’t need to be so overprotective of them tho…

Valarie: who knew she was such a softie?

Aelita: Literally everyone, I think.

Adam: Yeah pretty much

Adam: How’s the show prep going?

Tesla: Show prep?

Tesla: Wait, don’t tell me…!

Venam: all good here

Venam: just waitin for the speakers

Venam: and for val to stop hogging all the tempura

Venam: speaking of

Venam: @Valarie wtf leave some for the rest of us u bitch

Valarie: BUT IT’S SO GOOD

Tesla: Venam, are you performing?

Tesla: But I haven’t been able to organize payment for you yet!

Tesla: For that matter, I need to pay all of you for your help! This is all too much!

Melia: No need!

Aelita: Not a chance! Family helps family, that’s all there is to it!

Adam: Thanks but we’re good

Valarie: it’s fine!! we’re happy to help out, especially in such a beautiful place!

Venam: look i know i go on and on about money and stuff

Venam: which is fine bc i know im that bitch and i should get paid for how awesome i am

Venam: but i owe ambot a lot of lost time

Venam: ill let it slide just this once

Venam: gtg speakers are here

Tesla: You all…I have no words for how touched I am.

Tesla: All of this was Amber’s idea?

Aelita: Yep!

Aelita: She gathered us all together and asked for our help!

Melia: I’d never seen her so passionate, and that's saying something.

Melia: She was determined to give you a chance to relax.

Adam: We were nearby and wanted to repay your hospitality from before

Valarie: just being on the resort was such a privilege! we couldn’t just not pay it back!

Valarie: and yes, your daughter was VERY convincing (not that we needed it, but still!)

Adam: Gotta go, saki’s trying to add falling metal pipe sound effects to all the background ambience

Adam: But she likes you, and she likes amber, even if she’ll never admit it

Adam: she feels the same

Amber: Ugh, I really HATE event planning.

Amber: How's it going over here?

Amber: Oh, uh, hey, Mom.

Amber: Surprise…?

Tesla: Hello, dear.

Tesla: You were behind all of this?

Amber: …Yeah.

Amber: Are you…mad?

Tesla: Mad?

Tesla: Why would I ever be mad?

Amber: I dunno…I messed with your work and all that.

Amber: And, well…

Amber: …Ah, fuck it.

Amber: Aelita, if anyone laughs, kick their asses.

Aelita: Roger that!

Amber: It’s just that you’ve just been so tired the past weeks!

Amber: And it’s all been so that I could have this great life that I’ve got, but for so long I was such a bitch that I never even thanked you properly for it!

Amber: So I thought this is the least I could do, just like you’ve done for me, you know?

Amber: Mom?

Amber: …Could you say something, please?

Tesla: I do have something to say, but not here.

Tesla: It’s nothing bad, don’t worry, but I think you would prefer to hear it in person. Maybe at lunch? Just the two of us?

Amber: That’d be AWESOME, but,,,,

Amber: For some reason, all of Terajuma wants the badge today????

Amber: Like get some lives you fucking idiots????

Melia: Can’t you just skip?

Amber: Nah, gym is already on thin ice for…reasons.

Valarie: like ditching for weeks at a time reasons?

Amber: GAHHHH SHUT THE FUCK UP

Amber: But yeah.

Amber: Would be really fucking nice if we had a reserve leader for me.

Aiden: i’ll do it

Amber: WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM

Aiden: a nap

Aiden: i can be the gym leader

Amber: Dude do you even have a full Fire type team????

Aiden: i do

Aiden: but i don’t really need one

Aiden: reserve leaders don’t need single type teams

Melia: I’m pretty sure they still do?

Aiden: oh do they now

Aiden: i didn’t know hydreigon was a normal type

Melia: What?

Melia: OH, Aiden, come on! We’ve been over this!

Aiden: and apparently azumarill is normal type too

Melia: Those were special circumstances!!! 

Aiden: the aegislash was the only justice involved in that battle

Melia: AIDEN!

Adam: Do we want to know?

Aelita: Probably not. 

Aelita: But! Aiden DOES have an all-Fire team so it should be fine!

Tesla: You still need official approval from the League Administration!

Aiden: ok

---

Private Message: Alexandra Rhaela

Aiden: can i be the reserve fire leader

Alexandra: Oh, Aiden!

Alexandra: Can I ask why the sudden request?

Aiden: family business

Alexandra: I see.

Alexandra: Well, it’s not entirely orthodox, but when has this League ever been? Sure, why not!

Alexandra: I can’t grant you a permanent license too quickly, but would a temporary one work?

Aiden: just today

Alexandra: Good! We can log it as “extenuating circumstances” then.

Alexandra: Just a few things. Are you capable of constructing a team composed exclusively of Fire types?

Aiden: yes

Alexandra: Alright. Now, can you provide plausible evidence for documentation that you have acquired sufficient mastery over the Fire type?

Aiden: hood

Alexandra: True, he is strong, but what specific feats can you allude to?

Aiden: went against kyogre in water

Aiden: didn’t die

Alexandra: That’s… extremely impressive.

Alexandra: Just one more piece of proof from a different Fire type Pokemon, and I can approve your request!

Aiden: [entei.jpg]

Alexandra: …Yeah, that’ll do it. 

Alexandra: Welcome to your role for today, Reserve Gym Leader Aiden!

---

Aiden: i’m the reserve now

Aiden: go have fun

Amber: YOU’RE THE BEST MAN!!

Tesla: Are you all sure? 

Tesla: I would hate to impose on you more than I accidentally have.

Aelita: One hundred percent! We’ve got things covered, no need to worry!

Melia: Take as long as you like!

Adam: No objections here

Valarie: go have some mommy-daughter bonding time, you deserve it!!

Tesla: Thank you so much!

Tesla: I couldn’t be more thankful to have met you all on that day.

Amber: Same here!!

Amber: So, Mom…

Amber: How’s that lunch sound?

Tesla: That sounds wonderful, dear. 

---

Amber glanced up from her phone. “Mom, there you are! I—” 

Whatever she was going to say next died in her throat as Tesla rushed forward to pull her into her arms. Blinking in surprise, Amber returned the hug, and they stood that way for a long moment.

Eventually, Tesla pulled back just enough to cradle Amber’s face with her hands. Her red eyes shone with so much love that Amber felt her own tearing up just from the eye contact. 

“I don’t know what I did,” Tesla whispered, her voice trembling with emotion, “to deserve such a perfect daughter.”

Without warning, Amber’s face burned, her throat closed up, and before she knew it, tears were trickling down her cheeks as she sobbed. “Y-You b-became t-the best mom a daughter could a-ask for! ” she sputtered out. Tesla’s smile was radiant, even as her own tears fell freely.

“I love you, my little Amber. More than anything, or anyone.”

“I-I love y-you too…! I was wrong before! I w-wouldn’t t-trade you for a-anything! ”

“Shhh. I know, dear. Believe me, I know. ”

Chapter Text

Erin: Does anyone have a spare Pokemon brush I could borrow?

Erin: My old one’s lost now because someone wasn’t watching her Pokemon.

Melia: I’m really sorry!

Melia: Diligence is still young, she doesn’t know any better!

Aelita: What happened, anyway?

Erin: Tell them what you did, Melia.

Melia: I’m sorryyyyy :(

Melia: I borrowed Erin’s brush because it was really nice and I wanted to see if Diligence would like it!

Melia: She took it under her cloak and won’t give it back!

Venam: wait

Venam: you tried to brush your mimikyu????

Venam: isn’t she literally just a sack????

Melia: How dare you say that about her!

Erin: Anyone?

Erin: I’d like to be able to sleep before the sun rises.

Ren: Wait, what’s stopping you from sleeping?

Erin: Absol gets fussy if I don’t brush her properly before we go to bed.

Erin: No matter where we are or what time it is. No exceptions.

Erin: I love her no matter what, and I like brushing her fur regardless, but it can be a bit of a hassle sometimes.

Aelita: At least she’s always so neat!

Melia: Yeah! I guess all Pokemon have their quirks.

Melia: I sleep with a nightlight, but it’s not for me.

Melia: Don’t tell him I told you this, but Hapi’s actually afraid of the dark!

Melia: Which is weird, because he’s a Fairy type, and can also faintly glow if he wants.

Melia: But hey, I don't judge!

Melia: How about you guys? Do your Pokemon have any odd tendencies?

Aelita: Ooooh, I’ve got one!

Aelita: Lucha REALLY loves watching wrestling shows.

Ren: That’s not too surprising.

Aelita: Yeah, but it’s not just because of the costumes or the moves, like you’d expect.

Aelita: He gets…surprisingly passionate about the storylines, and keeps up with them religiously.

Venam: yooo i used to be hella into that stuff when i was a kid

Ren: Because it gave you an excuse to slam people into the ground.

Venam: duh

Venam: aelita ask him what his favorite match is

Venam: i gotta judge his taste

Aelita: Oh, sure! One sec.

Aelita: Um, he says “Gravedigger vs. Heartbreaker”?

Aelita: “Both”, if that's important.

Venam: NICE

Venam: good shit, i approve

Aelita: Thanks! I think.

Venam: me next!!!

Venam: let’s see

Venam: sev likes to wrap himself around stuff when he’s sleepy

Ren: Ah, the Scarf Incident.

Melia: Oh, I’d hoped I wouldn’t have to think about it again…

Aelita: What’s the Scarf Incident?

Venam: basically he wrapped himself around my neck while i was asleep

Venam: and then he fell asleep too

Ren: We cried and yelled for Aunt Chasy.

Ren: I think Melia almost fainted.

Venam: you guys needed to relax lmao i wasnt going to die or anything

Melia: If he had coiled in just the wrong way…

Venam: we looked hella stylish tho

Venam: wish i had one that wouldnt kill me

Venam: yo erin, have you ever seen a seviper-patterned scarf

Erin: Not that I remember.

Venam: damn it

Erin: I could make one, if you’re interested.

Erin: Could be a fun challenge.

Venam: YO THAT’D BE SICK

Venam: how can i pay you back?

Erin: With silence.

Venam: well fuck you too

Melia: Uh, anyway!

Melia: What about you, Aiden?

Aiden: hood has a blood feud against electivire

Melia: …What?

Venam: wtf?????

Aelita: What does that…mean, exactly?

Aiden: he’s banned from fighting any electivire

Aiden: whenever he makes eye contact with one they start fighting immediately

Aiden: i have to leave the area because they genuinely look like they’re trying to kill each other

Aelita: But…but why?

Aiden: i have no idea

Aiden: he says all infernape have the same instinct

Aiden: and all electivire do too

Aiden: he also switches to a specific moveset

Aiden: flare blitz, mach punch, dig, and flamethrower

Aiden: he never uses dig for any other fight

Aiden: and even then, he knows earthquake, or even bulldoze

Aiden: but for electivire, and electivire only, he has to use dig

Aiden: i can never spar with erick anymore

Venam: dude what the fuck??

Aiden: i knowww

Erin: That…feels like a bit more than just a simple personality quirk.

Ren: Holy crap, your guy does that too?!

Melia: Ren???

Ren: Sorry for the delay, I had to check on something!

Ren: But Ronin’s like that too, except with Charizards!

Venam: wtf is wrong with your starters?!

Ren: Right?! It’s so weird!

Ren: He does the moveset thing too, but his is even weirder!

Ren: Water Shuriken, Double Team, Aerial Ace, and Cut!

Aelita: Cut?!

Melia: What?!

Erin: As in, not Night Slash or anything?

Erin: Cut as in the HM?

Ren: Yeah! It’s completely impractical, but he insists!

Ren: Plus, sometimes he stares at his shurikens like…like he expects them to be bigger, or something?

Ren: One time he even reached to his back to pull out a shuriken! For no reason!

Ren: And it’s only when he’s fighting a Charizard!

Venam: is that why he hates my zard so much?

Aiden: you mean tesla’s charizard

Venam: SHUT UP she’s letting me borrow it

Ren: I think so?

Ren: It gets even worse when it’s a Mega Charizard X.

Ren: I can’t think of any reason that he’d hate Charizards in particular, so it’s just really confusing.

Venam: WAIT

Venam: HOLY FUCK

Venam: I JUST REMEMBERED

Venam: zard did that once too i think

Venam: we were sparring against a blastoise

Venam: and she just LIT UP the ground with flamethrower to make it tough for it to move

Aelita: That sounds like a cool strategy, actually!

Venam: i know right, it was sick

Venam: i didnt ask for that tho, so i just thought “okay sure this is a strong ass pokemon and she’s just taking the lead”, whatever

Venam: but then she used SEISMIC TOSS?????

Melia: Seismic Toss? Out of all the moves?

Venam: RIGHT

Venam: im p sure she didnt even KNOW that before that battle

Venam: it didnt make any fucking sense!!!

Ren: It’s uncanny how similar our situations are.

Ren: It can’t just be a coincidence, right…?

Aiden: do your pokemon say the weird thing too

Ren: YES

Venam: HOLY SHIT I THOUGHT I WAS JUST HEARING THINGS

Melia: ????

Aelita: Woah!

Erin: What’s the…”weird thing”?

Ren: Very rarely, I hear Ronin mumble something that makes no sense.

Venam: i only heard it once, but it was so fucking weird i couldnt forget it

Ren: You say it first, Aiden, just to make sure we’re all on the same page.

Aiden: “in ketchum’s name”

Venam: FUCKFJKGASKJ THAT’S IT

Ren: YEAH! Exactly that!

Erin: This makes no sense whatsoever.

Ren: We know!

Venam: WHO THE FUCK IS KETCHUM

Aiden: a pokemon master

Aelita: What?

Ren: What?!

Venam: WHAT

Aiden: i

Aiden: i don’t know

Aiden: i don’t know anyone named ketchum

Aiden: and i don’t feel like i’ve ever known a ketchum

Aiden: i just

Aiden: it felt like i HAD to type that

Ren: This is so weird…

Venam: is this some archetype shit? or interceptor shit?

Venam: any kind of shit we know about???

Erin: I don’t think it’s an Archetype thing.

Melia: Yeah, doesn’t ring any bells.

Aiden: not an interceptor thing

Aiden: there’s one more test i want to try

Ren: What’s that?

Aiden: it just came to me now

Aiden: not counting our own pokemon or any we know

Aiden: if you need to fight a legendary

Aiden: who’s the go-to

Melia: That’s an odd question.

Ren: Oddly enough, though, I have an answer already.

Venam: well shit, me too

Aiden: we all send at the same time

Aiden: aelita, count us down

Aelita: Uh…sure!

Aelita: On “Go!”, then.

Aelita: Three,

Aelita: Two,

Aelita: One,

Aelita: Go!

Aiden: pikachu

Ren: Pikachu

Venam: pikachu

Venam: WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

Ren: What the hell?!

Aiden: i’ve seen a lot

Aiden: but this is new even for me

Melia: Should we be worried?

Erin: Honestly?

Erin: It’s not my problem anymore.

Erin: Unlike the brush that I still don’t have.

Melia: I said I was sorry!