Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Luo Binghe had struggled through high school and barely made it into college. It was by pure chance she had been accepted on a scholarship to Cang Qiong University, a private institution that boasted some of the brightest and most innovative graduates. Luo Binghe aimed for the stars to get out of the poor foster system that had her bouncing from house to house, facing abuse and neglect to the point where she wore an iron skin and turned her insides to steel. She was a young girl, barely seventeen when she got the acceptance letter. She nearly cried in joy.

Despite being one of the smartest in her school, she was actually mediocre in Cang Qiong standards. Her education was lacking in certain aspects from how often she had to transfer schools and how much extra work she had to put in to simply keep up. Because of this, she tested into the lower levels of some classes, but none of the ones that had anything to do with her major coursework, so it was fine. Literature was not really something she needed for her major, communications doubled with sociology. She was placed in the class under the university level class that would qualify toward her general education and subsequently, her degrees.

It might have been fate that her reading comprehension was lacking for her age, paired with the prestigious expectations of the university that placed her in this particular class in her first semester.

Literature professor Shen Qingqiu was so bright and kind, young and fairly new to the university herself, much too young for a tenure but already established as a prestigious figure in her field. She talked about different seminars she had attended, conversations with fellow scholars (she was considered a scholar! ), and shared her vast wealth of knowledge in specific niches of literature. Her main focus was literature, where she was in the middle of petitioning a contemporary literature class, and enjoyed teaching the beginner level literature and grammar classes to get students on their feet.

On top of her achievements, being one of the youngest professors in the department and already having several published papers, she was the most wonderful person Luo Binghe had met. She was kind, not strict at all like her other professors with their hard deadlines and attendance policies, but she acted like she was strict. There was raw enthusiasm in her lectures, true joy in coming to class every day to teach and bringing the whole class up with her. The work was hard, lots of reading and revising on top of the countless short essays she had them turning in, but it felt fulfilling. She was one of the professors who led the writing center and always encouraged her students to attend, or even simply come by her office hours.

Luo Binghe was touched in a way no one had since her first mother passed away. Shen Qingqiu genuinely looked out for her students and gave each person her undivided attention and worked with them thoroughly with any of their struggles. When that attention was turned to Luo Binghe she couldn’t help but melt.

In order to get her up and running toward her goal, Luo Binghe threw herself into all of her classes, especially her literature class. She went to the writing center at least twice a week and to Shen Qingqiu’s office on the days she didn’t see her at the writing center. 

Before she knew it, as her first semester finished midterms and grades were handed out, Shen Qingqiu handed back her essay with a sunny smile that made whatever clouds still hanging over her heart dissipate completely. The grade was the best Luo Binghe had ever gotten in literature in all her years of education. With that bloomed a new sort of affection.

Luo Binghe could pinpoint the exact moment she fell in love with her professor. It was her second year of college where she was taking Shen Qingqiu’s 100 level literature analysis class with a heavy focus on critical thinking, one of the last classes she needed in this field before she could move on and focus solely on her major. It made her sad and she expressed that to Shen Qingqiu during office hours one day.

Her eyes were bright, the pink lipstick on her smiling lips were rubbed away in the middle from where she’d been drinking coffee all morning. “I’m not going anywhere and you still have what, maybe four years left with your current track? If you look at your additional credits list for your majors you might see a class or two of mine listed.”

It was true. Luo Binghe whipped out her phone to check and Shen Qingqiu pointed out which ones she would be teaching and when. They were tucked in a long list of extra courses she could pick from that would count toward her major. One of them was—

“Your contemporary literature class!” Luo Binghe squealed. “It was approved?!”

Shen Qingqiu’s smile somehow grew impossibly wider, her eyes scrunched with joy. “It was only approved a couple of weeks ago. I was waiting for the end of the semester to announce it. You’re the first of my students to know!”

There in her office, she redrafted her whole graduation track to include all of Shen Qingqiu’s classes. There would be two semesters where she could not wiggle in anything, much to her chagrin, but she did discuss having TA roles in a couple of her beginner level classes later. The summer and winter courses she took were long breaks that Shen Qingqiu never taught and there was no hope to add her there, forced to use the breaks to focus on her majors.

It’s when Luo Binghe looked up, smiling widely from the excel sheet she had on her phone with the new plan drafted to keep her favorite professor close for a little longer, she lost her breath.

Shen Qingqiu’s office was on the third floor of the humanities building, overlooking one of the many courtyards and where the sun shone sweetly in the morning. There was a bamboo grove below where students liked to mill about. Luo Binghe in particular loved taking her lunch there sometimes. It was morning now, with that fresh sun shining through and haloing Shen Qingqiu from where she had turned in her seat to chat with Luo Binghe. The blouse she wore was white, translucent where the sun hit it. She was poised and relaxed, elegant with her regal beauty— the smooth forehead, her dark eyes delicately framed in modest makeup, the long line of her nose, the sharp angle of her jaw. The beauty, paired with her genuine smile, made Luo Binghe’s heart stutter. She was beautiful but most of all for the first time in Luo Binghe’s life she felt like the world wasn’t going to tilt to an axis and toss her off again. This time, she was standing still with her feet firmly planted on the ground.

Oh. She loved her.

And what could Luo Binghe do about it?

She was barely twenty-two now, almost done with her undergraduate courses. She could take on a masters and keep staying close to Shen Qingqiu. The guidance counselor had said Luo Binghe was on track to adding Literature as a minor if she took these two classes, but that would require taking on another literature professor besides Shen Qingqiu. She told the guidance counselor honestly that she just enjoyed Shen Qingqiu’s classes.

In the meantime, she would fantasize about every direction their life could take. Luo Binghe would get in her desired field and make a lot of money to where she could fully support Shen Qingqiu. They wouldn’t have kids at first so they could travel every moment they had then later maybe adopt or get a donor. Of course, they were married in all of these fantasies and always led to them having kids. The number would change, who carried would change, the kind of house they would have changed, etc etc.

With her track of class after class, inflated schedules, all while working part-time to maintain some level of income to feed herself, she was set to graduate early and would be heading out from Cang Qiong University by this coming spring of her fifth year. And she dreaded every moment.

No, now was not the time to mourn. Shen Qingqui was hosting her first ever contemporary literature class this semester and Luo Binghe was proud to be one of its first students. Because it was so new, there was plenty of wiggle room and schedule adjustment made as the semester went on. And they got to read books published within the last decade, not centuries ago like her previous class.

“As it's important to know where we came from, it's equally important to know where we are now and where we are going,” said Shen Qingqiu on the first day of class. “Also, I’m sure something written last year is a little easier to read.”

It was exciting! They were reading a little bit of everything— young adult novels, children’s books, fantasy sci-fi anthologies, fringe poetry, and even comics. She was still trying to figure out exactly what she wanted the class to focus on but the variety made for plenty of interesting conversations.

Luo Binghe sat front and center of the class, always fifteen minutes early and always lagged behind an extra fifteen minutes as the next class filed in. This was, despite being so new, had to be one of Luo Binghe’s favorite of Shen Qingqiu’s classes. 

But she was still afraid. This was her last semester and it was her schedule that was already bursting between her extra classes and the internship at a research center. Her chances of catching Shen Qingqiu’s affection were getting slimmer with each passing day. The lack of availability she had outside of Shen Qingqiu’s class and the rare office hours visit made Luo Binghe parched.

No, she had Shen Qingqiu’s personal number because it was on the syllabus her first semester (“I don’t ever answer my office phone. Preferably, send me an email, but give me a call or text if it's absolutely an emergency. Just don’t call after eleven”). Luo Binghe could keep in contact, go out to coffee and catch up when all this is over, maybe even ask her out without the constraint of their teacher-student dynamic hanging over them, when Luo Binghe had established herself in the industry and is making enough money to spoil Shen Qingqiu as she deserves.

“I have an idea,” Shen Qingqiu said one day at the beginning of class, shortly after midterms. “We’re almost done with the book, so why don’t we watch the 1992 movie?”

Excitement erupted in the class at the prospect of a movie day. Shen Qingqiu smiled wider. “If you would like, I’d love to invite you guys over for a movie night. I’ll order us food and we can have a discussion on the movie and how it holds up to the book. It can count as extra credit points if you want but I thought it would be fun and relaxing!”

Their class agreed enthusiastically. Dates were picked and a sign up sheet was posted for them to determine when this will happen. It wasn’t the first time Shen Qingqiu had an impromptu day out beyond the class for some vaguely course related trip. Last semester, they saw a play they had read. Two semesters before that they visited a museum exhibit that hosted a specific writer’s works and adaptations.

This was different. It wasn’t a Thursday night out with a dozen or so classmates going to a theater. They were going to Shen Qingqiu’s home.

The cogs churned in Luo Binghe’s head. Shen Qingqiu’s home where she slept and ate and relaxed, where she spent her personal time and had all her personal possessions on display. Luo Binghe had been to her office for years and knew the organized chaos she thrived in and wondered how her home would reflect that.

This could be her chance. She debated on blackmailing her classmates to step out last second so it would be the two of them only but there was a risk of Shen Qingqiu canceling completely if too many people didn’t come. She could hoard her time, use this chance off campus to seduce her properly but the fact she had her classmates there would be—

Ah. She knew exactly what she would do.

Shen Qingqiu lived barely ten minutes from campus in a condo. The place was tucked away in its cookie cutter complex but had plenty of trees to shade the winding walkways. Eleven students ended up coming in total and arrived promptly on Friday night at four. Luo Binghe was one of the first to arrive, having gotten here at three-thirty and meandered around a bit to not interrupt Shen Qingqiu too soon.

She had even dressed extra nicely, outside of her usual classroom athleisure and occasional days where she felt extra pretty and wanted Shen Qingqiu to know. Tonight she needed her to notice. It had been tricky finding a balance between sexy, seductive, and casual all at once. Her initial sexy outfits were more for clubbing than a movie night. She went with a black, square neck bodysuit that made her boobs look phenomenal, tucked into a pair of distressed jeans. She accessorized simply with elegant hoops and a couple silver rings that brought out the sparkle in her freshly painted black glitter nails. She forgone a jacket, despite the autumn chill, in hopes of snatching a blanket from Shen Qingqiu to keep her warm.

“Hello, Binghe!” Shen Qingqiu greeted when she opened the door. “You’re the first to arrive. Come in, come in!”

The condo was everything she’d imagined and more. She wanted to sniff around every inch to learn more about her professor. Elegantly contemporary in design with tasteful color palettes complete with a glass dining table, balls of clear glass lights hanging above the spacious sectional couch, and a weird green chair by a wide window that looked like it would be comfortable in theory. There were two bookcases in the main room alone piled high with artfully bound books, interspersed with knick knacks that matched the collection in her office. On the kitchen island were an array of snacks already arranged. Shen Qingqiu was glowing in the bright light of her kitchen, a green apron cinched at her waist to keep the food from her casual clothes.

Oh god. This was the most dressed down Luo Binghe had ever seen her. She always wore nice blouses and dresses, fancy knit cardigans and heels, the occasional suit set. Always coordinated down to the color of her watch. She was still coordinated, but in a pair of soft looking jeans and a white sweater. She still had a watch on, a pretty mother of pearl faced one and her favorite pearl earrings. Her hair was drawn back into a loose bung at her nape, not so severe as a half-up-do with a clip or a slicked back ponytail. She looked so soft, so homely in the space where she was arranging a tray of snacks to look a little more appealing.

“I’ll order take out once everyone gets here but please, have some snacks in the meantime,” Shen Qingqiu said. Luo Binghe stood in the middle of the open space, the kitchen and living room all leading together into the dining room. She could see a patio with bamboo lining the fence and a cute outdoor seating set where she could imagine Shen Qingqiu spending a quiet evening lounging with a book.

“Thank you. It looks delicious.” Luo Binghe finally took a seat at the island chair but couldn’t stop herself from drinking in every detail of the place. She can see a hall where there were a couple of doors, a bathroom and a bedroom for sure, perhaps a closet or another room, too. The place was spacious, too much for one person, and she wondered… Shen Qingqiu never said anything but… “Is it just you living here, Shizun?”

“Why, yes,” Shen Qingqiu said. She took off her apron and hung it on a hook and it took everything for Luo Binghe not to drool at the sight of her waist where the sweater was artfully French tucked. “It’s just me here. It’s a two bedroom so I converted the spare into an office space. I have my own little patio where I’m trying to grow a natural bamboo partition because some of my neighbors' kids are a bit nosey. I might move eventually, maybe a little house with a bigger yard for a dog or a pool.”

Luo Binghe leaned forward to brace her chin in her hands, making sure her boobs were sitting nicely on the counter. “You want a dog?”

“Or a cat. Or maybe even a snake. I haven’t decided yet so that’s why I haven’t made an effort to go find one.”

Luo Binghe wanted to do nothing more than to enjoy this moment, the kitchen island between them but everything was so much more casual. They weren’t a student and her teacher right now. This was Shen Qingqiu’s personal space where she was so relaxed in her own home Luo Binghe couldn't help but relax with her.

The doorbell rang. Shen Qingqiu called, “Coming!” and bustled down the short hall to greet her students.

By five, everyone was here and enjoying the snacks Shen Qingqiu had set out. They were store bought treats, bakery goods and nuts with some fruit, and had ordered food to be delivered for them to munch on during the movie. She toured her collections, interesting books she had and little trinkets she gathered from travels. Dinner arrived and everyone took a seat where they could. She brought extra cushions out for people to pile up on the floor for the movie and even dragged a bean bag chair from her office. Luo Binghe wanted to take a peek into her office so badly.

Her place barely fit the twelve of them gathered around the large TV. Luo Binghe scored a spot on the couch next to her, curled up at the edge with Shen Qingqiu so close she could hear her breathing in the quiet of the movie, and could feel the warmth just brushing against her skin.

She did acquire a blanket, pulled from the top of the couch and thrown over her by Shen Qingqiu. She wanted to melt.

The night was fun. Shen Qingqiu even allowed them all to raid her wine cabinet for everyone who was of age. The movie was entertaining and made even more so by her rambunctious classmates. Best of all, Luo Binghe got to sit at Shen Qingqiu’s side all night.

As the movie night wound down and people started to leave, Luo Binghe started to put her plan into action. It was autumn and the rainy season had picked up so there was on and off rain throughout the course of the evening. This worked completely in her favor.

She drew Shen Qingqiu into a conversation that lasted past the initial party conclusion as the last of the students left. It was almost eleven and the last bus had already long gone.

Luo Binghe poured Shen Qingqiu a little more wine. She adored the sweet flush on her cheeks, the sloppiness to her usual cool cadence.

“Binghe, did someone drop you off?” Shen Qingqiu asked, checking the time on her watch.

“No, I took the bus but— ah!” She also checked the time on her phone to conclude it was ten fifty-two. “The last bus!”

Shen Qingqiu whipped around to look outside and saw the rain curtaining down from the window. “Oh dear. Even if it wasn’t raining I wouldn’t want you walking home like that. Can I call you a ride?”

Luo Binghe shook her head. “No, Shizun shouldn’t. They haven’t been safe for young girls like me as of late and I don’t want to risk it.”

“Is there someone you could call?”

Luo Binghe shook her head. “The only people I know who to call are unavailable this evening. I wouldn’t want to put that on them.”

“Ah, oh my,” Shen Qingqiu sighed. She looked down at her hand, her eyes a little red and cheeks still warm with alcohol. “I wouldn’t dare drive you back in this state. If you don’t mind, why don’t you spend the night here? I would feel much more at ease than sending you out this late.”

Success.

Luo Binghe helped Shen Qingqiu pick up the mess from the party. Two students had left their cars here because they were a little too tipsy to drive. The keys were left by the door. Luo Binghe was thankful that Shen Qingqiu didn’t possess the forethought to ask her sooner in case she tried having a classmate take her back.

They finished cleaning and Shen Qingqiu, a little more sober but still too woozy on her feet, stood awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen. “Do you have something to wear? No, of course not. You can borrow some pajamas and I’ll set you up in the futon.”

… Futon?

Of course a spacious place like this would have extra room for guests. It was too much for Luo Binghe to hope they could share her bed. Wishful thinking, really.

Shen Qingqiu led her down the hall to the master bedroom. It was cluttered, disorganized in a way that it’s usually messier but had been cleaned recently. The bed was made but only with the blankets thrown up and the pillows stacked at the head. Luo Binghe hovered at the door while Shen Qingqiu dug through the armoire.

“Do you want pants or a dress?”

Hornily, Luo Binghe said, “a dress, please.”

Shen Qingqiu gave her a cotton nightgown complete with a lace trim collar and the ruffled sleeves. 

“Go change in the front bathroom. I left some makeup remover, face soap, moisturizer, and a toothbrush. I’ll go fix up your bed.”

Luo Binghe could feign domesticity while she changed and washed her face in the front bathroom. The nightgown fit her a little snug around her chest and shoulders but otherwise was surprisingly comfortable and light on her skin. She should ask Shen Qingiqu where she got it. Or steal it.

Shen Qingqiu had arranged the futon in her office to lay out as a bed. Sheets were tucked around it and topped with a pillow and blanket. Luo Binghe folded her clothes neatly at the foot of the futon next to her purse and took a moment to examine the office.

It was a cluttered mess, just like her bedroom and university office. The desk faced a wall by the window where a cork board was covered in cards, pictures, and handwritten notes. Most of the wall space was taken up by bookcases, half of which contained manhua and novels. One bookcase, an expensive looking one, contained no books but figurines and merchandise. It was cute. It made Luo Binghe’s heart swell from learning these new sides to Shen Qingqiu.

There was a knock on the door. Shen Qingqiu peeked in with a smile. Luo Binghe almost fainted.

The earlier appearance with her soft sweater and jeans was so dressed down already that seeing her now in her sleepwear made Luo Binghe want to die. Her makeup was completely washed off, displaying her milky skin with a little bit of a shadow under her eyes. Without the mascara, brow pencil, concealer, blush, or lipstick, she looked so painstakingly and naturally beautiful. 

The blood rushed through Luo Binghe’s head when she noticed the pajamas. A thin, silky robe hung loose around her and all she had on was a flimsy matching camisole that fluttered at the slightest shift and matching shorts that barely covered the tops of her thighs. This was the most skin Luo Binghe had ever seen from the shapes of her nipples through the silk to the long length of her legs completely on display without even hosiery to deter her eyes.

“Is everything alright?” Shen Qingqiu said, snapping her out of her daze. “Can I get you anything?”

Your body. Your heart. Your hand in marriage. Luo Binghe shook her head. “I’m good. Thank you very much for allowing me to stay.”

Shen Qingqiu’s eyes flitted over her figure. She definitely noticed her cleavage swelling under the tight nightgown. She must be appreciating it.

“Good. I’m heading to bed but I’ll actually be up reading for a while. Go ahead and read something from my shelves if you would like something to wind down with. I have no plans in the morning so there’s no need to rush around,” said Shen Qingqiu. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ears. All of her jewelry was off except for the pearl earrings. 

“Goodnight, Shizun,” said Luo Binghe.

“Goodnight, Binghe.” Shen Qingqiu was pink in the face as she closed the door.

Luo Binghe wanted to scream. The office was obviously a place Shen Qingqiu spent a lot of time in. She could smell it in the seats. She had sniffed the seats. They held that refreshingly sweet perfume Shen Qingiqu wore, paired with fabric softener and the natural smell of her skin. A teal cardigan hung over the back of the chair, well-worn and frayed in its knit. Luo Binghe wrapped herself in it. 

Shamelessly, she started going through her drawers. There was no reason for their order, seemingly random stuff thrown together that must have made sense to Shen Qingqiu. There were pens in every single one. Many miscellaneous items that could certainly have a place outside of her desk.

Her expansive bookcases were next. She browsed the titles and found them in particular order of genre, medium, and last names. Cases were split between academic texts, literature, pleasure reading, and manhua. The pleasure reading is what interested Luo Binghe most. What was her professor into outside of the strict classical literature and the high-brow contemporary reading?

Lots and lots of romance novels. Plenty of certainly interesting sounding synopsis and some absolutely corny stuff. Most were straight romances, but there were BL and GL books sorted into the mix. She did note down some titles to check out later because they did sound interesting.

This didn’t really help in Luo Binghe’s search. She was looking to find specifically what made Shen Qingqiu tick, who she was outside of her sweet and elegant professor persona. These were all so generalized, a broad spectrum with a little bit of everything, it made it hard to pin down exactly what Luo Binghe wanted to find.

Ah-ha.

The bookcases were so deep and tall that they held two rows of books with a clear board running behind the back of the bottom row to elevate the upper row. It made for a neat look and allowed room to pose for figurines and knick-knacks. Except the bottom two rows on the far left had a secret row. Luo Binhe neatly took out the books, keeping them lined up in order as she stacked them up next to her, to display the hidden collection of erotica.

Tons of it. From the sexy stuff moms liked to read to hardcore pornography. Luo Binghe looked at the titles, totally enthralled by the little gold mine she’d found. Hard and Deep by the Heavenly Pillar, Help! I Conditioned My Disciple into Fucking Me, The Dragon Spirit's Double-Crossing Double Cock, Pleasure of the Dungeons, and so on and so forth. Unfortunately, they were just like the wide array of books stacked high on the shelves around her— too broad to truly narrow down who Shen Qingqiu was and what turned her on.

She grabbed a GL book with two women moistly embracing on the cover, the art and title obviously made this for the male audience in mind and not for the sapphics with their big doe eyes and their boobs puzzle-pieced together. She grabbed another book that had sounded interesting, if only to cover her tracks if Shen Qingqiu came snooping in the morning. The books were arranged back in order with the little knick-knacks put back into their rings of dust.

I Only Want to Kiss My Teacher, the title read. The synopsis gave away that it was a graphic and horny novel complete with art that depicts a student lusting after her clueless math teacher, who in turn, actually liked her back so much she ruined her pristine image with all her decrepit thoughts. Luo Binghe got comfortable under the reading light and her bedding on the futon then dove into the book.

It was just as bad as expected. Breasts were always mentioned when a character was introduced. They start having sex only a few chapters in, where they would find new and creative ways to fuck each other on campus while hiding from everyone. It was corny, badly written, and was even complete with annotated notes from Shen Qingqiu. Luo Binghe recognized that handwriting.

Boobs don’t do that , it read next to a line about her boobs sagging in dejection. 

If mine did this I’d see a doctor about a pussy kissing back.

BOOBS DON’T DO THAT read several other highlighted portions of boobs defying physics during sex.

Luo Binghe had been running a hand over herself as she read. She ignored the features of the lewd teacher and replaced it with shiny black hair, pretty deep eyes, shiny pink lips, little pearl earrings. The couple was fucking in the empty classroom before school, too risky as anyone could walk in, but the teacher had trapped her student under her desk and forced her face into her cunt. Another teacher had come in to chat and she could barely hold herself together with the feeling of her student’s tongue fucking into her. 

Shen Qingqiu would look beautiful like that. All keyed up as she tried not to lose face in front of a coworker. That one athletics instructor seemed to hang around a lot. Or that statistics professor she always had lunch with. Her thighs would clench around Luo Binghe’s head as she ate out her dripping pussy, suckling down her juices like it was the fresh juice of a desert cactus.

The couple had successfully escaped getting caught and had moved to fucking in storage shed full of sports equipment— the teacher holding her legs wide open for the student to finger fuck her, her breasts trapped in some clamps they had conveniently found in the shed. Luo Binghe traced a line to her panties and stroked over the wet line of her pussy through the thin cotton. Her eyes glazed over the text, the words feeding into her brain but they were replaced by shen Qingqiu with her little breasts clamped tight and swollen, the whole breast turning red from the pressure as she whined and squirmed underneath Luo Binghe.

They had taken it a step further and went back to the teacher’s home. The student was bent over the bed with her hands tied to her thighs and her teacher was fucking her with a strap, grabbing her by the hair and yanking her wherever she pleased. Luo Binghe kicked off her panties and shoved two fingers into herself.

The book had fallen out of her grasp. She couldn’t stop thinking about Shen Qingqiu and her body, Shen Qingqiu hot and wet around her tongue, Shen Qingqiu spread out like a feast and fucked to the edge of sanity by a strap Luo Binghe didn’t own (yet), Shen Qingqiu pressed between her breasts as she drooled and moaned into her skin. Shen Qingqiu falling for her even half as hard as she had.

These images raced through her mind, her body flooded with her smell from the cardigan still wrapped around her shoulders and the bedding cocooned her. She inhaled deeply, wondering exactly what Shen Qingqiu’s pussy tasted like or the specific sound her laugh was like when she was sleepy. 

Luo Binghe came with an open-mouthed silent cry. Her body shook from the weight of her pleasure. She laid like that for a bit, spread eagle on the bed with the sheets cool on her overheated skin. It was so easy falling asleep after that, awashed in her release and wrapped up in Shen Qingqiu’s smell.

In the morning, Luo Binghe rose with the sun and patted into the kitchen. The home was silent, awash with the first morning glow that put a clean, blue  hue to everything. She still had on Shen Qingqiu’s cardigan from her office and her socks from the previous day to fight the morning chill.

She tried knocking on Shen Qingqiu’s bedroom door and received no answer. Bravely, she peeked inside. The room was dark, only a strip of light fighting the corners of the blackout curtains. The only thing that could be seen of Shen Qingqiu was the lump under her blankets and the very top of her head. Luo Binghe wanted to slip into the warm bed with her but forced herself to pull back and shut the door.

It was Saturday. Shen Qingqiu had admitted once she loved to sleep in whenever she could and wouldn’t get up until ten if she was allowed. Luo Binghe wanted to allow her that pleasure today. 

She found enough ingredients in her kitchen to make congee. Luo Binghe worked dutifully to prepare all her extra toppings while the rice simmered. Then she took up the other book she had grabbed from the office, the non-erotica novel, to read by the back door where she could watch the sunlight grow brighter across the floor. It was all so soft, so relaxing. Luo Binghe wondered if married life would be like this with Shen Qingqiu.

The smell must have woken Shen Qingqiu up. She shuffled out with an unfortunately thicker plush robe wrapped around her skimpy pajamas. Luo Binghe nearly dropped her book with just how soft Shen Qingqiu looked. Her cool aloofness was washed away, her edges softened to something sleepy and sweet. She was still blinking sleep from her eyes as she patted her hair into a casual mess, the loose bun from the night before holding only half of its hair.

“Good morning, Binghe,” she said, voice hoarse from disuse. “Are you making breakfast? I was just going to run to the bakery down the street and grab us some buns.”

“Good morning, Shizun. That’s okay I wanted to make some congee,” said Luo Binghe, springing to her feet to beat her to the kitchen. “Tea?”

“Mn. There’s no need for all this. How long have you been up?”

“Since about six-thirty.”

Shen Qingqiu double checked the time on the microwave. “I can hardly do that on a school day. Sleep in sometimes!” she chided.

Luo Binghe smiled. “I did. I usually get up at five on school days. I’ll hit the gym before I go to class and work and I’m usually in bed by eleven at the latest.”

“Naps! I hope you take more naps!” Shen Qingqiu looked disturbed over her natural five AM wake up.

Luo Binghe didn’t need naps. She was fine as long as she got at least six hours. She loved the idea of Shen Qingqiu sleeping her mornings away where Luo Binghe could relax with her.

They ate breakfast and Luo Binghe was reluctant to leave. She had to be at her internship for an important meeting this afternoon and she still needed to get back to her apartment and shower. The clock was ticking and Luo Binghe didn’t want to lose her chance—

“I’ll take you home today so you won’t lose any time in getting ready, yeah?” Shen Qingqiu said. “And as thanks for the delicious breakfast. That was probably the best congee I’ve ever had.”

She had eaten the whole bowl and had a satisfied flush to her cheeks. She was so warm and alive like this in the morning without any makeup on her face or the presentation of a professor on her. Luo Binghe wanted to fold her up and keep this version of her tucked away in her pocket.

“I’m in no rush. Can you show me some of the things in your office?” asked Luo Binghe. If only to draw their time out longer. To give her another chance—

Shen Qingqiu shook her head. “I unfortunately have to kick you out. I have a lunch date today and I need to get ready after dropping you off. Totally forgot about it, I’m sorry.”

Luo Binghe deflated. Shen Qingqiu sighed. “You can come over again soon. We can have a book talk day if you like.” She gestured to the book on the table Luo Binghe had been reading. “You’re welcome to borrow that but make sure to let me know what you think.”

Chapter Text

Luo Binghe was dropped off. She had changed back into her clothes from the night before and couldn’t think of a valid excuse to keep the cardigan at the very least. Shen Qingqiu had changed into a pair of jeans and a fresh sweatshirt before she left, her hair braided to the side and her face freshly washed without a touch of makeup. Luo Binghe’s teeth hurt with how much she wanted to kiss her.

Worst of all, she had a lunch date.

She wasn’t sure who it could be with. A friend maybe, because she’s heard Ning Yingying talk about going on lunch dates with some other girls but Luo Binghe is sure she’s also seen her kissing them so that’s not a very good example.

Come Monday, she started her investigation. First, obviously, she wanted to corner Shen Qingqiu and ask her about her Sunday lunch date, but it was Shang Qinghua she spotted first. The frumpy statistics professor usually slinked around the business and mathematics labs but today she was shuffling around the humanities building. She always had lunch with Shen Qingqiu on campus, why not a weekend lunch?

Luo Binghe followed her into the elevator. They were the only ones there.

“What floor?” Shang Qinghua asked. She had hit the eighth floor where the psychology labs were.

“Eighth floor,” said Luo Binghe.

The woman was tiny and plump, all soft lines and a round face like a cherub. She was almost a decade older than Shen Qingqiu but looked more like an older student than a renowned statistics professor. Her hair curled softly around her ears, a little frizzy with the leftover humidity from the rain. She was soft, angelic sort of way but her ill-fitted slacks and the ugly slip-on walking shoes she wore every day regardless of outfit was a bit of a turn off. Like Luo Binghe would ever be into her.

“Professor Shang?” started Luo Binghe. “You’re close friends with Shen Qingqiu, correct?”

Shang Qinghua turned to her. “Yes, fairly close. We’ve been friends since I was in college. Are you one of her students?”

Shen Qingqiu would have been a teenager then, perhaps barely starting college herself with how long it probably took Shang Qinghua to get her PhD. She would know how Shen Qingqiu was back in, hell, maybe even had photos.

“I am! My name is Luo Binghe, it’s a pleasure to be your acquaintance.” Luo Binghe tried to hide her budding excitement at the fresh well of information. “And you guys have been together for such a long time! Are you one of her closest friends?”

She laughed. “I would think she hates me! But no, that would go to the dean, Yue Qingyuan. They practically grew up together.” She stopped, backtracking. “I’m not saying there was a sort of favoritism in hiring Shen Qingqiu here so young. She's one of the youngest professors the university has seen, next to Liu Qingge in the athletics department. Yue Qingyuan did put in a good word for her and I also spoke as a reference for her work but we both truly felt she would be the one for the job and look at her! They’re thinking of making her the next head of department when Ling Wen leaves, but that won’t be for another decade.”

Shang Qinghua was rambling but Luo Binghe let her. She was like a fresh fountain of new Shen Qingqiu facts and they just kept coming. Shen Qingqiu, head of the literature department! “There might be a little favoritism. Yue Qingyuan probably had heart eyes for her for years now, and the fact she was my first kiss in college shouldn’t have had a sway on me but ah-! It’s a little embarrassing to say that now. Did you know Liu Qingge is vying for her attention now? Imagine competing with the dean of the university!

“The funniest part is I don’t even think she realizes she has at least two suitors who are going after her! She’s been so focused on getting that contemporary literature class up and running she hardly has time outside except for her students! Yue Qingyuan barely managed to wrestle a lunch date from her yesterday and from what I heard, all she talked about were her classes and students!”

Luo Binghe was overwhelmed, too much fresh information and bad news at once. They reached the eighth floor and Shang Qinghua still chattered as they exited the hallway.

“Haha, are you one of the suitors?” Luo Binghe tried to joke. She was going to dissolve on the spot.

Shang Qinghua waved with a laugh. “Nope! You couldn’t have me kiss her again even with money on the line! We were tipsy at a frat party, spin the bottle, you know? No, it’s Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan who are aiming for her, I think. Don’t quote me on that. Personally, I’m rooting for Liu Qingge because Yue Qingyuan has had over twenty years to take a chance but hasn’t made a proper move! Or, he has, it's just he has not been obvious enough. I hope the newby gets her. It would be kind of funny but I also wonder what kind of beautiful babies they would make. Seriously! Have you seen Coach Liu?! That kind of face is unfair!”

They had walked around to the otherside of the floor and stopped at a door. “My apologies for rambling on about personal stuff! Don’t be spreading rumors. Your name is Luo Binghe, right? Shen Qingqiu talks highly of you so set a good example! I’ll see you around!”

Luo Binghe waved half-heartedly. When the door shut behind Shang Qinghua she staggered back until she hit a wall and slid down to the floor. Her brain was fried.

Liu Qingge was tricky to find but it turns out he was the older brother of one of the girls Ning Yingying kissed a lot. Liu Mingyan, the lesbian little sister, was kind enough to share with her that he was always in the athletics department and even brought his own lunch every day to eat in his office so he wouldn’t have to leave the building. How he met Shen Qingqiu was almost like a matter of fate with how utterly convenient it was, them being at the right place at the right time.

“Shen Qingqiu took up dance at the studio on the weekends,” said Liu Mingyan with NingYingying playing on a Switch in her lap. They were absolutely dating. “Liu Qingge got himself into a sticky spot when he decided to do some training by himself in one of the empty gyms. He’s a competitive martial artist and has a lot of awards under his belt. Unfortunately, a ceiling fixture had fallen and knocked a bunch of equipment over onto him. Shen Qingqiu happened to be coming back from the bathroom and peeked inside when she saw him pinned to the ground.

“She rushed to his rescue while calling for security. He was rushed to the hospital with a concussion and she stayed by his side and even took him home. After that, despite how antisocial that guy is, he started following her around like a puppy.”

“A white knight in shining armor,” piped in Ning Yingying.

“Yes. They’re pretty good friends now. I guess the chance encounter they needed to build that friendship,” said Liu Mingyan. She was twirling one of Ning Yingying’s bubble pigtails around her finger.

“I saw them at a uni game while I was with Ming Fan once,” said Ning Yinying. “It was weird because I don’t think Shen Qingqiu is into baseball.”

“Why were you at a uni game with Ming Fan?”

She shrugged. “He asked me very nicely and I’ve never been to a baseball game before.”

“Are they… do you think…?” Luo Binghe started.

Liu Mingyan shook her head. “Hard to say. My brother isn’t a romantic guy. He’s probably happy just being around her. He brings her lunch sometimes but it's always just meat, rice, and steamed vegetables because that’s all he knows how to cook. Muscle-head meal prep.”

That stainless steel container with those three foods Luo Binghe sometimes saw in her office, always eaten in whole and packed away neatly in a little black lunchbox that was unlike the usual cute green polka-dot bag she brought sometimes.

“That’s sweet. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t like cooking when she can.”

Luo Binghe did know that. She chatted with the girls a little longer until the other girlfriend arrived and made things a little too sensual for Luo Binghe.

Yue Qingyuan was harder to find information. Luo Binghe asked Shen Qingqiu directly.

“How long have you known Yue Qingyuan?” asked Luo Binghe, hopefully seemingly out of the blue during Shen Qingqiu’s office hours one day.

“Hm? Oh, years. I don’t know exactly but we were definitely kids. He was my neighbor growing up until he moved away. It was nice reconnecting with him when I was getting my masters but we were both so busy it was just coffee dates every few months or so.”

Coffee dates?!

Shen Qingqiu turned in her seat to shuffle through some pictures, not noticing the suddenly sour expression on Luo Binghe’s face. Despite the horrible things she was saying, Luo Binghe was too entranced by her. Shen Qingqiu’s hair was down today, sleek and pin straight with a bit tucked behind her ears to show off her little silver hoops. She wore a suit with fitted pants and a tailored blazer, her white button up shirt popped open the first few buttons to show the angle of her collarbones and the silver chain sitting prettily in the divots. Her lips were painted red, unlike her usual nudey-pinks she liked to wear.

“That’s so interesting,” said Luo Binghe. “Pardon the personal question, Shizun, but is someone like Yue Qingyuan your type?”

Shen Qingqiu froze. She pursed her lips and turned fully in her chair to face Luo Binghe. “My type? Ah, I hope you don’t get the wrong idea. There is nothing going on between Yue Qingyuan in that manner.”

Luo Binghe didn’t believe her. Shen Qingqiu stifled a sigh, seeing the disbelief on her face. “First of all, I do not wish to disclose personal matters to students such as this. My private life stays out of school business. Second, I do not wish to have relations with any of my coworkers, especially a higher up like Yue Qingyuan. It would do more harm to reputations than what’s worth. I would be at a higher risk of facing problems if I was caught in a relationship with Yue Qingyuan. I’m already on thin ice with some of the administrators who think I seduced my way in here.” She wrinkled her nose at that. “I am qualified for the job. Because of my age, my relationship status, and my family makes them liable to think I wiggled my way in unfairly when they wanted this old coot from Peking.

“Third,” she continued, this time with a sly smile. “I’m not into Yue Qingyuan because my brother already has dibs.”

“Wait— Shizun, you have a brother ?”

“Mn. A little older than me and is actually Yue Qingyuan’s friend. Or, whatever weird thing they have going on. He’s my friend and my only relation to my brother at the moment. He pulled ties from the family the moment he turned eighteen and I’ve only seen him twice since then, both because of Yue Qingyuan. I don’t mind, the guy’s an asshole. Pardon my language, Binghe.”

So, if she could beat Liu Qingge to the punch, she had a chance. She was single, living alone, and she liked to call all her outings with friends dates . Luo Binghe would officially finish in December but she had until May when she would officially graduate to make a move.

Luo Binghe was on track. In fact, she was doing fantastic. She was on the dean’s list, like she was every semester, and would be awarded with high honors for her graduation. She already had job prospects and industry connections to wiggle her way into the field.

She planned to shoot her shot right after finals in December. She had worked doubly hard all through university to get herself in and out as fast as possible and move onto the beginning of her new life as someone well-established, financially secure, and maybe even happy. Her happiness would come if she could have Shen Qingqiu at her side. She would show off her fancy new job and all her fancy degrees and honors, her savings account with every penny she pinched to put a down payment on a lovely home. She would display herself as someone who would be most compatible with Shen Qingqiu.

Luo Binghe could do it. 

That is until she got a phone call.

Luo Binghe didn’t have a family until this moment. Her foster mother raised her as long as she could until she passed away and she was placed back into the system. She bounced between homes until she saved enough money to apply to Canq Qiong University where she was by herself. No family to return back to on holidays, no care packages, or visits to her on the weekend. She was fine with that as she had Shen Qingqiu to look forward to every week.

Zhuzhi-lang was her cousin. He was the one who contacted her. A soft-spoken man who was a whole decade her senior. He was calling on behalf of his uncle, her father, who was ill and recently did a DNA test for curiosity’s sake. Luo Binghe had come up as a match as his daughter.

Her mother, Zhuzhi-lang said, had been his lover many years ago. They parted on bad terms, but her father had said she had been the only love in his life and refused to ever marry. Her mother died shortly after Luo Binghe was born. Her father had never known she had been pregnant and her family had not known she had a child. 

It was a whole mess. Her mother’s family had tried looking for Luo Binghe but the system had screwed up somewhere and she had become impossible to track. They didn’t know who the father would be and the father had turned a blind eye to everything that wasn’t his work and poetry. Luo Binghe had remained unfound until this very moment.

They met for coffee, just Luo Binghe and Zhuzhi-lang. Her dad was having a bad day and was stuck bedridden.

“This must be like a fantasy,” said Zhuzhi-lang. “You’ve been working so hard your whole life and now everything has fallen into your lap. Unfortunately, Tianlang-jun does not have long to live. He has less good days than not. I cannot guarantee a loving family an orphan would crave.”

“Aren’t you an orphan?” pointed out Luo Binghe.

Zhuzhi-lang shrugged. “I had Uncle my whole life.”

On another day, they visited the cemetery where Luo Binghe’s mother rested. Su Xiyan had been cremated and placed in a columbarium with her name, her birthdate, and her death date. She died the day after Luo Binghe had been born. She had been barely twenty-two. Luo Binghe was on the brink of twenty-two. 

There was no room for a full bouquet in the little cup she was allowed to hold flowers in that sat by her plaque. She picked the prettiest from the bunch and arranged them neatly in the cup.

It took two more meetings with Zhuzhi-lang and a phone call before she was ready to meet her father.

Tianlang-jun looked like her but not. She could see the resemblance in the tilt of his mouth and the shade of black in his eyes. He was lounging on a chaise in a sunroom, one of three sunrooms the sprawling mansion had. It overlooked a luxurious pool that probably cost as much to build and maintain than what all of Luo Binghe’s scholarship money could pay.

“You are part of a legacy,” explained Tianlang-jun. “This empire was built by our forefathers. You, as my only heir, will soon take over.”

Luo Binghe didn’t know if she wanted this. She looked around, took in the three chandeliers, the grand piano, the attendant off to the side, the oxygen tank tucked behind the chaise. 

He could see her hesitation, her apprehension. “You look just like Su Xiyan. She was a headstrong woman, cold-hearted and lovely, from a family who despised me and everything I had. We were like a modern day Romeo and Juliet, except she was booted from her family for daring to dance with me. Even if they knew of you, I couldn’t tell you if they would want a daughter of mine to be part of them.”

“What would I have to do, as the heir to your company?” asked Luo Binghe.

“And to the fortune. Of course, I will be splitting my assets with Zhuzhi-lang. He deserves it for being my nephew but for also being at my side all these years. No offense.”

Luo Binghe would have been happy with a sack of money and sent on her merry way. She didn’t need a company, stocks, four mansions, and whatever else Tianlang-jun owned. She didn’t need all that from him.

It was too many years too late to make amends now. She didn’t care for Tianlang-jun and the endless riches he promised. He couldn’t even promise her a family, only his limited time and her chilly cousin.

“You are a student, yes? With a double major in communications and sociology? I can give you a position in the company so you can work your way up to wherever you want to go. One day though, when I pass, you will be the figurehead and the face of it.”

Why not Zhuzhi-lang? He was right here, bowing his head politely as he served them tea and arranged the little tea snacks an attendant brought to a more visually appealing array. Why couldn’t he take all of this? She was sure Zhuzhi-lang would want it more than her.

She wanted it, though. She wanted fortune and security. Money made the world go around, money bought happiness.

Luo Binghe remembered how, only a few weeks ago, Shen Qingqiu had said she didn’t want people to think she bought her way into the job, that she seduced her way into the job, as if it was anything but her own skills and intelligence that got her the position as a professor at one of the most prestigious private universities in the country. Luo Binghe didn’t think the same way.

“I’ll think about it,” she said.

Tianlang-jun smiled and raised his wine glass. He had ignored the tea set Zhuzhi-lang painstakingly arranged for them. “Cheers to you, my daughter. Regardless, you will receive plenty of wealth from me. Where are you now, the school dorms? I can’t move you into this mansion, even though it’s the closest to your school, it’s still an hour drive on a good day. I’ll arrange for a nice place for you near campus so you can finish up.”

“No need. I barely have two months left of school.”

Tianlang-jun grinned wider. “An overachiever, look at you, graduating early. Good girl. No matter, I will still arrange a place for you when graduation comes. Or, you’re welcome to stay here with me and your cousin. There is plenty of room. I'm sure we can handle one extra person around here.”

She was given an allowance, a list of places to choose from, and a personal assistant came to assess her, sent out a personal shopper to buy her a new high-end wardrobe, and gave her the rundown of what was expected of her.

Tianlang-jun was a big name. Luo Binghe had not known his name until recently but with some research she found how far his reach was. Globally, in everyday lives. She owned things that were technically under his name.

Luo Binghe was encouraged to start a social media account, to become an “influencer” in her own right to garner attention. She was beautiful and with her connections and the right PR team she could easily attain a little checkmark next to her handle as someone with importance. She agreed only because this was a seemingly small way for her to attain money on her own outside of her father’s influence.

Worst of all, despite her being on the brink of graduating, Tianlang-jun liked to drag her out into his private trips and events for “father daughter bonding” she was missing classes and already got a couple of angry emails from professors for using up all of her excused absences and then some in a span of two week. She should say no but found it difficult to pull away from his requests when he used the “I’m dying, Binghe, let Daddy spend time with his daughter while he still can.”

Luo Binghe made sure she was always there for her Tuesday and Thursday mornings for the contemporary literature class. She could not say the same of her main courses that actually went toward her degrees. Classmate notes helped, and she made sure to be there on testing days and for at least some lectures, but it was getting hard when her dad brought her back from Amsterdam only the night before and she needed to finish her reading and get to her eight AM class.

Worst of all, she was barely around anymore to hang out with Shen Qingqiu during office hours. How could she woo this woman if she wasn’t even around? 

The week before finals she knocked on her office door. The hours had been extended to accommodate finals. It was dark outside, winter was coming and the days were shorter, the sun already long set by six. Her birthday was coming up after finals and Tianlang-Jun wanted to take her to Cambodia.

“Come in,” came Shen Qingqiu’s sweet voice. She sounded tired.

Luo Binghe stepped into the office. The usually cluttered space was a chaotic mess. Five classes worth of work and then whatever project she was working on left the room with little space to breath.

Shen Qingqiu straightened up in her chair. She was dressed down compared to how she usually presented herself, but not nearly as casual as that movie night. She wore a thick knit cardigan over her blouse and her hair was neatly tied back into a low bun. Little gold hoops glinted at her ears.

A ring on her right ring finger made her heart drop, a little gold band with diamonds twisted on the surface. It wasn’t a promise ring, or it could be, but it probably wasn’t. Or was it.

“Binghe!” she greeted brightly. She looked tired, exhaustion clearly weighing her down in the slump of her shoulders and the caked on concealer under her eyes. She smiled regardless. “I haven’t seen you outside of class in a while. Is everything alright? I hope you’re not too overwhelmed with finals.”

Luo Binghe felt herself relax. “Hello, Shizun. I am pretty overwhelmed. A lot has been going on. Today I’m actually here for help.”

Her final essay was one she couldn’t wrap her head around. She was supposed to pick a theme from the list and figure out how it fit into one of the readings. She had chosen the theme of violence and how it revolved around women. A bold choice but she knew Shen Qingqiu would eat it up. 

The difficult part was she had been in disarray. The depressing topic of her essay, the overwhelming amount of work she needed to do to ensure she graduated with all her honors intact, her father’s nagging, the legacy suddenly pressing down on her shoulders, stifling her every breath and crushing—

“Binghe?” Shen Qingqiu snapped her from her reverie. “You spaced out for a second. Do you need a nap?”

“Shizun?”

Shen Qingqiu tsk ed and reached across the desk to press the back of her hand to Luo Binghe’s forehead, her brows furrowed. Luo Binghe’s head rushed with heat, her thoughts suddenly static as she felt the cool touch of her skin on her suddenly burning forehead. 

“You won’t be able to call me that soon. You only have two weeks left of being a student with me,” said Shen Qingqiu.

“Shizun will always be Shizun,” said Luo Binghe, dazed.

“Go lay down for a few. Twenty minutes. It’ll be like a cup of coffee. Then we can get your work going. I still have two hours left for my office hours so there’s no rush.” Shen Qingqiu shooed her to the little couch she had in her office. She pulled a blanket and pillow from the bottom drawer of a filing cabinet and tossed them onto the couch. 

Luo Binghe complied. She wasn’t sleepy, she thought, until she laid completely horizontal and Shen Qingqiu laid the blanket over her. The heaviness she’d been experiencing the last couple of weeks, the jet lag, the exhaustion, all crashed down on her.

She fell into a dazed nap, aware of the soft clacking of the keyboard and the even softer sounds Shen Qingiqu would make. The squeak of her chair, the rustle of her clothes, the deepness of her breath. Luo Binghe might have actually slept a bit.

Shen Qingqiu nudged her awake sometime later.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly. Luo Binghe gazed at Shen Qingqiu through sleep-heavy lashes. Her entire left side was numb of heavy after sleeping on it so deeply. The fog hung thick over her, unable to comprehend what she was fully seeing. “I got pulled into my work and let you sleep longer than intended,” continued Shen Qingqiu. “It’s been almost two hours. Come, get up, I’ll stay a little longer and help you out as an apology.”

Luo Binghe shot up, blinking fast from the sudden vertigo that overtook her. “Shizun,” she slurred, stumbling to her feet. “‘M sorry.”

“Hush now. You needed it. Do some stretches and wake yourself up. I’ll be right back.” Shen Qingqiu left the office.

Luo Binghe did as she was told and did a few, slow, stretches to get her blood going. She checked her phone to find three missed calls from her Zhuzhi-lang and one from her father. Her phone is always silenced whenever she was with Shen Qingqiu.

“Binghe,” said Shen Qingqiu as she came back. She had a styrofoam cup in each hand with steaming, dark liquid. The smell of coffee and mint hit her nose. “I brought you a decaf coffee. It’s too late to be drinking caffeine but I think the smell alone can give you a little kick.” She placed both cups on the desk and proceeded to dump out dozens of sugar packets and creamers. “I didn’t know how you took your coffee so I brought options.”

Luo Binghe wanted to tell her how much she meant the world to her right this second. Not yet. She tucked her phone away and thanked Shen Qingqiu for the coffee.

“Congratulations on finishing school,” said Tianlang-jun. They were being chauffeured in a Rolls Royce. Zhuzhi-lang sat up front by the driver on his phone scrolling through a Wikipedia page about pythons. He tilted his head toward the backseat, his eyes on his phone but his ear on the conversation. “Have you thought about my offer?”

It was simple. She had no reason to think of it.

“No, because I already said I can’t do that.”

“Why not? Toronto would be an excellent business venture. It would only be for a few years. I already have a headquarters in France, Russia, and Algeria. I would like to start a North American location and I think you would be an excellent fit. You even have a degree in communications.” Tianlang-jun seemed to be whining.

“I’m a fresh out of college graduate where my experience lies in my coursework and internships. What would six months at a family law office and some communications classes make me qualified to be an international diplomat?”

“That’s a bonus. I’ll have someone give you a little seminar if it’ll help. After that, I’ll let you pick where you’d like to start work at the home office so you can come back. It’ll only be five years tops if you really have a hard time.”

“No.”

“No? And why is— ah.” Tianlang-jun paused.

“Uncle.” There was a warning note in Zhuzhi-lang’s tone.

“There must be a lover.”

“Uncle, please.”

Luo Binghe sat stone cold in her plush leather seat. She kept her eyes through the windshield where a light powder of snow was falling. Winter has only begun officially but snow had been steadily falling around them back in November. She wondered if she would have to spend Lunar New Years with her newfound family or if she could start dating Shen Qingqiu before then so they could celebrate together.

“A lover. Who are they? A classmate? An associate at work? An old childhood friend?” Tianlang-jun paused. Something sparkled in his eye. “A professor?”

Lou Binghe tried not to show any reaction but there was a twitch to her lips she couldn’t hold back. Tianlang-jun grinned. “My, my. How scandalous.”

“It won’t be a problem,” Luo Bingeh said through gritted teeth.

“No, I don’t care about an actual scandal. It makes life a little more interesting, don’t you think? As long as you do as I say you can date whoever you want it’s not my business. Count this as my blessings to pursue your affections.”

Luo Binghe chewed on her bottom lip. She wanted to ask… wanted to… “Father, I want to stay here so I can be with her. I don’t think I can handle something long distance nor do I want to uproot her from her job.”

“Hm. Zhuzhi-lang, would you be opposed to going to Toronto for a bit?”

“I would. Please just find someone who is qualified for the job,” said Zhuzhi-lang. Now he was watching a video of a snake with the volume turned off, enjoying the visuals.

“Fine,” Tianlang-jun huffed. “Let me meet this professor lover of yours soon.”

“Ah,” Luo Binghe hesitated. “We aren’t… actually together yet. I was waiting for finals—”

“Driver!” Tianlang-jun smacked the middle counsel to get the driver’s attention, as if his shout hadn’t gotten it. “Driver! We need to get her to her lover ASAP! Step on it!” He turned back to Luo Binghe. “Where is your lover—”

“Father!” She hated the word on her tongue. “I have a plan.”

“How long have you been enamored by your professor?”

“...Four and a half years.”

“Too slow. I had your mom in my bed after three weeks. Driver, take us to the fashion district. Zhuzhi-lang, order the nicest bouquet of flowers, something red and not just roses, a little mix would be nice. Then make a reservation at—”

Chapter Text

Luo Binghe was shoved out of the car at a luxury mall with a credit card and the order to go to a certain salon then ask for a specific pack and a certain employee. A personal shopper was called to bring Luo Binghe something to wear while Zhuzhi-land was made to make the reservations, the bouquet order, and “possibly securing a hotel room for the evening, a honeymoon suite”. Luo Binghe was seething over her father meddling with her affairs, getting involved in Shen Qingqiu like he had a right to do that. What, because he had money he could do anything he wanted?

The special pack ended up being a full spa treatment complete with a mani pedi and a blowout. She always painted her nails herself with the cheap bottle of black nail polish, so it was certainly a whole new experience of someone manhandling her hands and feet until they were buffed and polished to perfection. She got black gel polish with a nice matte coat on top. Her hair fell in beautiful artful waves down her back and framed her face in a soft curl. She had makeup applied with a bold red lip and her lashes looking so thick and long she swore she could feel them fluttering over her cheeks.

A personal shopper met up with her at the entrance to the salon. She dragged her into a boutique and had her throw on different outfits after different outfits until she was satisfied. The end look ended up being a long sleeve body-hugging black midi dress with extra straps around the collar, a pair of designer ankle boots, an overly large wool coat, and accessorized with long ruby fringe earrings, a collection of simple silver bands, and a designer clutch purse.

She was gracelessly dumped onto Shen Qingqiu’s porch with the heavy bouquet in hands and told that the reservation was at eight, so they “better make it short and sweet”. The car drove around the corner but probably did not go very far for Tianlang-jun to snoop.

Luo Binghe shivered on the doorstep. She wasn’t even sure if Shen Qingqiu was home.

This was not what she had planned. She was going to come on a day when Shen Qingqiu would be in her office grading, a neutral spot compared to being at her home, bringing a homemade meal with her and asking her out with all the sweetness she possessed. Prepared completely for Shen Qingqiu to say no but willing to not be her wife— girlfriend, if it meant she could at least be a friend.

She had written a script a while ago and had the final three versions in her literature notebook in preparation for the day. She did not have her notebook or a homemade meal or the safe zone of her office on campus.

Her phone rang. It was easy to dig it out of the tiny purse that fit nothing more than her phone, her ID, her debit card, the credit card, a lipstick, and one tampon. It was stuffed full and she had to wiggle the damn thing out.

It was her dad. “What?” She stepped away from the door to not attract attention in case Shen Qingqiu was actually home and could hear her through the door.

“Hurry up! Go knock! I want grandkids before I go!” Tianlang-jun hung up. Luo Binghe growled and shoved her phone into the pocket of her big coat.

With a deep breath, she centered herself on the doorstep and knocked.

Shen Qingqiu was exhausted. Finals were over for the students, but she had one week to grade every single final and leftover assignment to submit for the final grades. She did not have to go back to campus until a few days before the next semester began and relished in the fact she could sleep in and didn’t have to put on work clothes for a couple of weeks. That meant taking her grading to either her at home where she could be most comfortable or a table at the cafe around the corner.

Tonight she would stay inside. She had a drama playing on the TV, takeout from one of her favorite restaurants, and plans to blast through as much of her grading as she could before midnight.

A knock echoed from her door. She was not expecting anyone and she was already dressed down to her sweats, her face of makeup only intact because she wanted to eat as soon as she came home while the food was hot.

She checked through the peephole of the door and startled back.

“Binghe, what are you doing here?!” she exclaimed, throwing open the door and turning on the porch light. None other than Luo Binghe stood shivering on her doorstep in a body hugging dress and an oversized wool coat with a bouquet of flowers in her hands. Her makeup was artfully done and her hair fell in silky waves around her face. She was breathtaking. She jumped at Shen Qingqiu, opening the door so quickly, her thick eyelashes fluttering wide from surprise.

Luo Binghe’s cherry red lips parted, full and kissable— “Shizun, I-I was in the area and remembered you were here and…” She turned and gestured somewhere behind her. “I thought I would-would stop by and say hello.”

Shen Qingqiu arched her brow. “All dressed up fancy. Did you have reservations somewhere?”

Luo Binghe nodded, stopped, then shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Is it okay if I… come in for a few and warm up?”

Shen Qingqiu softened. Oh god, she had probably been on a date that didn’t go well with how nicely she was dressed. Had she been stood up? Was the person so bad she stormed out during the date and left him to pick up the bill? She stuttered and flushed, probably cold and embarrassed. Shen Qingqiu tutted. “Come in, come in. Poor Binghe, did something happen?”

“I, yes and no? Maybe?” Luo Binghe shuffled inside and took off her ankle boots. Shen Qingqiu pulled a fresh pair of house slippers out for her to put on in the meantime. Her coat was hung up in the side closet and Shen Qingqiu’s heart nearly stopped. The dress was body hugging from shoulders to calves, showing off the full breadth of her chest, the cinch of her waist, the curve of her hips, her lines a tantalizing display in the taut fabric. Her breasts were strained in the bosom, strapped in barely by the extra straps at the top. She turned to stuff her feet into the slippers, bent over a bit to adjust her skirt, and Shen Qingqiu could see the line of her ass through the material. Was she even wearing underwear?

“Are you hungry? I just ordered noodles and dumplings. Some fried veggies to make up for the carbs. Would you like some wine?” Shen Qingqiu was panicking a little. 

“I would love some . I haven’t eaten since lunch.” Poor girl didn’t even get a bite of her promised dinner! Shen Qingiqu had ordered tons of food with the intention of feeding herself with it for the next couple of days and had more than enough to share.

“What about your flowers? Can I get them water?”

Luo Binghe chewed her bottom lip then passed the bursting bouquet to her. They were wrapped in white paper with a neat red bow that overflowed with red and white roses in perfect cups, sweet smelling lilies, spotted alstroemerias, delicate wax flowers, and green eucalyptus. It was a beautiful bouquet and certainly should have cost a pretty penny. It was so sweet of Luo Binghe to bring her date such a lovely bouquet.

“Actually, Shizun, you can have them.” Luo Binghe thrusted the bouquet into her arms. Shen Qingqiu gasped, suddenly overwhelmed by the flowers.

To take these off her hands is the least she could do! She took the bouquet to the kitchen to dig for a vase, Luo Binghe trailing behind her.

“Go sit.” Shen Qingqiu shooed her away. Luo Binghe complied and sat at the kitchen island. She found a vase and took a moment to trim the stems over the sinks and arrange them in the vase of fresh water, humming to herself as she worked. It took her another moment standing with the vase to figure out where she could put the flowers. She ended up settling on the kitchen island, right in the middle for her whole kitchen to enjoy.

Before she could ask Luo Binghe how they looked, Luo Binghe spoke up. “Shizun, would you miss me if I left?”

Shen Qingqiu blinked. “Of course I would. Where did this come from?”

Luo Binghe took a deep breath. She turned in her seat to face Shen Qingqiu. Her legs crossed at the knees, then she uncrossed them to balance the balls of her feet on the bar of the stool, then she crossed them at the ankles. “I want to do so much, go so far in life and make myself comfortable and happy without a worry in the world. It was a few years ago I realized I can’t truly do that until after I graduated and made myself into an honest working woman.”

Work, Shen Qingqiu wanted to explain, was not a good dream for people to have and happiness should be her pursuit, not labor. She stopped herself as Luo Binghe continued. “Recently, I found… I found my family. My whole life is beginning to change, not just as I graduate, but I’ll be starting a new and unexpected chapter that will certainly lead me into the financial comfort I always dreamed.”

Shen Qingqiu gasped. “Binghe, your family?! ” Luo Binghe, her very own Luo Binghe who had been raised in foster home after foster home, forced into a new school every few semesters and forced to acclimate herself again, never truly able to settle down and grow into herself. For once, when she had entered Cang Qiong University, Luo Binghe had shyly expressed how much it meant to her to have a routine, to have familiar faces, to have a consistency that wouldn’t fall apart with a same day notice. For her to finally find her family was like something out of a movie. She, out of everyone, deserved to finally find that rock to lean back on when times were tough, people to fully call her own.

She did not look as ecstatic as Shen Qingqiu thought she would be. In fact, she felt more excited for Luo Binghe than Luo Binghe seemed to be. She was fidgeting, chewing on her lips and kicking out her feet. Finally, she took another deep breath and stood.

When Luo Binghe had entered university she was seventeen, wide-eyed and round-cheeked. She had grown into her face, had used the stability to make herself as a woman. Here standing in Shen Qingqiu’s kitchen, she can see what a beautiful and wonderful woman she had become. It made her heart ache.

“My true happiness, though, did not lie with money, as I’d initially thought.  My family is rich and I am already being spoon fed more money than I know what to do with. I bought this whole outfit today and had my nails done professionally for the first time in my life. These are real rubies on my ears. I'm actually afraid to lose them. But you know what? I would get rid of them in a heartbeat if asked.

“If it meant I could be with you, Shizun.” Luo Binghe— beautiful, confident, radiant, Binghe— drew herself to her full height and looked Shen Qingqiu right in the eye with her glittering black eyes. “I love you, Shen Qingqiu. I have loved you since I was a freshman on the first day of class with you. For four and a half years I wanted nothing more than to be someone you would be proud of and someone you could love back. I officially graduated from your class and I am no longer your student on records, but you’ll always be my Shizun, the professor who guided me to where I am today…”

She trailed off. Shen Qingqiu had taken a step back and was shaking her head.

“Shizun…?” Luo Binghe tried to take a step forward but Shen Qingqiu back, shaking her head harder. The ground was spinning underneath her, throwing her into a confused haze of where was this coming from?

“No,” she said, voice painfully level despite the roaring riptides in her chest. “You can’t.”

“We can.” Luo Binghe’s flushed cheeks were losing color, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears about to fall. “If you would give me a chance, time to consider—”

They fell when Shen Qingqiu said. “We are not going to do this, Luo Binghe. You’re still my student until the grades are up and will always be my student even after you graduate. I’m sorry but…” she couldn’t continue. The excuses were still tumbling through her head in the wild riptides but Luo Binghe had started to cry.

Fat tears dripped down her face and her lips trembled between her teeth, her shoulders hunching up as if to protect herself. She didn’t make a sound but the agony, so silent, cut through Shen Qingqiu like a freshly sharpened blade. It hurt her. It must hurt Luo Binghe even more.

How could her mascara stay so nicely , she wondered, as Luo Binghe’s eyes overflowed with tears as she began to openly sob.

A knock echoed from her door, heavy and insistent. They both froze at the intrusion. Tears still dripped down Luo Binghe’s perfect cheeks but she had sucked in her sounds. Shen Qingqiu moved quietly to the door and peeked through the peephole.

There was a man on her porch with a nasal cannula. Shen Qingqiu furrowed her brows, wondering if the man was lost or trying to sell her something.

“Don’t open the door,” whispered Luo Binghe. She had crept over to the door, phone vibrating violently in her hand. Shen Qingqiu peeked out again and saw the man had turned away, looking at her porch plants while he had a phone to his ear.

“It’s some old guy,” whispered Shen Qingqiu back. “Do you know him?” This hadn’t been her date? Wait, had she even been on a date?!

“It’s just my dad. He’ll go back to the car eventually.”

The man— her fucking dad — started knocking on the door again, this time shouting, “Hey, it’s me! Let me in, you guys are taking too long! Binghe!”

“Binghe, that’s your dad!” Shen Qingqui squeaked and threw open the door, ignoring Luo Binghe’s protests. Too late, she realized, maybe she didn’t want her dad to see her crying in her crush’s home. Her fears were unfounded when she whipped around and saw Luo Binghe’s tears were miraculously gone, face clean of tracks, and only the glimmer in her eye indicating that she was still wet and close to crying again.

“Daughter-in-law!” Luo Binghe’s dad came in through the door and gripped Shen Qingiqu’s upper arms tightly, squeezing her with far too much strength a man dragging around an oxygen tank probably should have. “Professor Shen, how do you do? It’s a pleasure to meet you finally. My girl talks a lot about you, all good things! Now come, we have made reservations at a nice seafood place. Do you like seafood? They have salads I’m sure you can enjoy. The have the most delectable bird’s nest with fresh caught shrimp and the cutest little mitten crabs I insist you try.”

“Let her get her shoes on before you drag her out the door,” Luo Binghe grouched.

Her dad just noticed her sweatpants and oversized sweatshirt and pursed his lips. “Go change, quickly! We don’t have a lot of time.”

Shen Qingqiu should have protested but he made no room for argument. She put her take-out into the fridge for tomorrow’s meal, mourning the loss of crispness from her tempura, and went to change clothes. If Luo Binghe was dressed like that, the least she could do is put on a dress too.

This gave her a moment to calm her spinning thoughts and collect herself. At least catalog everything that happened.

She didn’t know. That was the only thing she did know.

“Dad,” Luo Binghe hissed a few moments after Shen Qingqiu’s bedroom door shut.  They two of them had shuffled into the foyer, closing the door behind them. “What are you doing?!”

“You were taking too long. The reservation is in twenty minutes and we haven’t seen you two come out. I knew girls take a long time but for goodness sakes she wasn’t even dressed!”

“No, oh my god, Dad can you… can you stay out of this? Please?”

“She didn’t reject you, did she?” 

Luo Binghe’s grim silence and wet eyes was his only answer.

“That sucks. We’ll take her to dinner anyway and she can change her mind.”

“We?!”

Shen Qingiqu’s bedroom door opened and they cut off their conversation. She appeared at the end of the hallway and nearly took Luo Binghe’s breath away. She was fidgeting with a gold watch at her wrist and wasn’t looking, her long lashes shadowed across her cheek. Somehow in the five minutes she had been gone she completely transformed. She had her makeup on and probably touched it up with a little powder and gave herself a fresh coat of that adorable shade of nudey pink she loved so much. She had changed into a forest green midi wrap dress with fluttery sleeves and a deep V that showed off the bone of her chest. She had a pair of black patent pumps and a little envelope purse with a long crossbody chain hanging from her shoulder. A wool jacket and scarf was thrown over her arm.

“Sorry for the wait. Ready?” She said as she met them at the foyer. She dropped her heels and kicked them onto her feet. Luo Binghe was entranced in the shade of chipped emerald green on her toes, different from the color of her dress.

“Ready! Binghe?” Tianlang-jun nudged her. Luo Binghe kicked off her house slippers and put them away in the cubby Shen Qingqiu had pulled them out of then zipped back on her booties. Tianlang-jun led the way out the door with Shen Qingqiu lingering behind an extra moment to shut off her lights and lock the door behind them. The car was idling in the street out front. 

Zhuzhi-lang came out of the car at their approach and opened the backseat door to let them in. Shen Qingqiu went in first, then Luo Binghe in the middle, and Tianlang-jun came in last with Zhuzhi-lang helping him get seated with the oxygen tank between his knees. Despite the slow effort it took to get him in the car, he seemed to be nearly bouncing with joy as the car turned away from the curb and started off toward the restaurant.

It was painfully quiet on the way over, save for Tianlang-jun’s cheerful humming. Luo Binghe hated to think he had some convoluting plan to make this all work out.

Her thigh was touching Shen Qingqiu’s. She could feel her warmth through their skirts and thick jackets. Neither of them looked at each other. Shen Qingqiu had her phone in her lap and her head tilted down to the screen. It was impossible to see what she was looking at with a privacy screen darkening her phone. It allowed Luo Binghe to admire her profile, the length of her lashes, how her nose peeked out from above the scarf wrapped thrice around her throat. 

They arrived in stale silence at the restaurant. It was at the top of some high rise building that took them through a gilded lobby and into an elevator that took them straight to the floor. The restaurant was a high ceiling and decadent place in deep burgundy and gold with large crystal waterfall chandeliers interspersed around the room. Three of the four walls were floor to ceiling windows and besides the low-lit chandeliers the only other light were the crystal sconces and the candles on the tables. The server took them to a singular table set up for four away tucked away from the main dining room next to one of the huge windows.

“Why is there a table for four?” hissed Luo Binghe at Zhuzhi-lang as they were being seated. Tianlang-jun was too busy chatting up the server to take notice.

“I’m sorry,” Zhuzhi-lang said apologetically. “I wanted to reserve two tables for two with some space in between so you could have your privacy but Tianlang-jun insisted we all sat together.”

Luo Binghe frowned. She took a seat next to Shen Qingqiu with Zhuzhi-lang across and Tianlang-jun across from Shen Qingqiu so he could make conversation with her. He asked a lot of questions, like what she taught and her opinions on this or that piece of literature. They both seemed to hold strong opinions on certain classics and were able to keep up a pretty passionate conversation.

There was still a thick tension that even the server could sense. He served them complimentary water, and before anyone could get a word in, Tianlang-jun asked if anyone had any allergies or food they absolutely hated before he ordered food and drinks for the whole table. White wine was served, along with their round of appetizers before the plates started coming out. Tianlang-jun seemed to have ordered at least a little bit of everything from the menu. To top it off, he got two fancy cocktails for Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu and a bottle of sparkling apple juice for Zhuzhi-lang, who drank it with relish.

Shen Qingqiu was nibbling on a prawn and staring out the wide window. The city glittered below them, beyond that was the horizon staggered with skyscrapers that flashed bright colors in a dazzling display. The sky was pitch black but the shadows of clouds could be seen hanging low.

“It’s going to snow soon,” murmured Shen Qingqiu. “I should have brought some boots with me.”

“We’ll buy you some boots on the way back only so your dainty feet won’t touch the ground,” butted in Tianlang-jun.

“Tianlang-jun, sir,” said Shen Qingqiu without peeling her eyes from the window. Snow was starting to fall pale flakes that fluttered in the strong wind and could barely be seen drifting by in the night. It was like a damaged film was rolling over the cityscape. “I want you to know I don’t want to be bought into a relationship with your daughter, nor will I become some gold-digger. It’s my mistake for not thinking ahead and there is no reason for you to be tossing your money needlessly at a stranger.”

She turned from the window finally and put down her chopsticks. Their clink was sharp. “I have lo— adored your daughter and have rooted for her since she first entered my class. I can’t have you spoiling our relationship now with all this.” She gestured to the table with their wide spread of food, the expensive bottle of wine perched at the edge, the twelve crystal chandeliers big enough to hold a few people in them.

“I need you to know that whatever it is you’re doing won’t work because I’m not going to let it influence my decision in the matter,” Shen Qingqiu finished with a final note.

Luo Binghe was struck silent. Tianlang-jun did the unexpected and laughed. A full-bellied laugh that drew gazes their way. Shen Qingqiu flushed pink with indignation.

“Professor Shen! I would like a little money to influence your, ahaha, ‘decision’ in the matter, but more than anything, I find this whole thing quite fun and I’m getting more entertainment from this drama than I would at home with a book. Though, I am a romantic at heart, and would love nothing more than to attend my only daughter’s wedding…” Tianlang-jun trailed off with a dreamy sigh. “I never got married to her mother. I would have married her but alas, our destinies were decided.”

“Don’t live vicariously through me,” snapped Luo Binghe.

Tianlang-jun tutted. “I will live vicariously through your happiness. Now, please! Enjoy the meal!”

They finished eating the endless courses of food Tianlang-jun seemed to keep ordering. They picked at it all, no one with much of an appetite. Tianlang-jun ate the least with his medication, making it hard for him to eat a lot of heavy, oily food this restaurant liked to serve. Yes, it tasted pretty good, but Luo Binghe was sure she could serve Shen Qingqiu something better.

Worst of all, Tianlang-jun kept pulling their server into long-winded, one-sided conversations that the poor guy could not pull away from. Dinner dragged on and despite how good the food was, it was impossible to enjoy when the other side of the table had less-than-desired company with the intention of turning dinner into a three hour affair.

It was three and a half hours long. Shen Qingqiu, at some point, started knocking back glasses of wine like they were shots after she chugged back her cocktail with a sugary rim and a skewer of mango hanging over the edge.

Dessert was denied. Luo Binghe was tired and full. Shen Qingqiu was getting tipsier the longer they sat there. Anymore food brought to the table would only be untouched. They took the rest of their food to-go and Tianlang-jun took his sweet time paying.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” Shen Qingqiu stood up, wobbling a bit trying to get herself out of the chair. She was pink down to her chest, her eyes a little too hazy to be fine.

“I’ll go with you.” Luo Binghe shot to her feet and followed Shen Qingqiu through the wide maze of tables to the other side of the restaurant where she hoped was the bathroom but she wasn’t sure if Shen Qingqiu knew where she was going either.

“Ladies go to the bathroom together a lot. They go in defense packs or something. But they could also be kissing, I don’t know.”

“Uncle…”

Shen Qingqiu took them outside. They wandered out of the restaurant and found a patio a couple of floors down where people sat around fire pits and a bar sat at one end. Shen Qingqiu stopped at the railing and took a deep breath. The wind was strong, whipped past them as the air speckled with the fresh snowflakes. The people out by the fire pits were at least wrapped in heavy jackets and the fires looked toasty to be around. Luo Binghe was used to the cold yet couldn’t help shivered into the open air. They had thankfully grabbed their coats and purses.

“Binghe,” said Shen Qingqiu. She looked warm wrapped up in her coat and scarf, her cheeks still very pink but there was a fresh clarity to her eyes. “Your family is certainly something.”

Luo Binghe winced. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t intend for this to happen. I just… I was going to back away and I was going to tell my father to take it back so you could have the night to yourself but then you got dressed and—”

“I did a lot of thinking over dinner,” Shen Qingqiu cut in. “Easy to with how much your dad could talk and how easy it was to space out. No offense to your father, Binghe, but that man can’t shut his mouth.”

Luo Binghe cracked a smile. “Certainly glad I’m not like him in that aspect.” She was still caught on with the first part of what she said, falling silent to listen to what she had to say next.

“I need time,” she said finally. “There’s a lot going on. I need to finish grading, I have to make arrangements for the holidays while also preparing for my next semester. Let me… let things calm down and I will give you an answer.”

“Shizun?” Luo Binghe asked slowly. It took everything to make sure her voice didn’t waver. “Will you promise me one thing? That you will still be with me, as a friend or a mentor, if you decide you can’t do this? More than anything I can’t stand the idea of not having you in my life.”

“I don’t think I can imagine my life without you in it regardless,” said Shen Qingqiu.

“May I still see you while you think about it? Can we still have those coffee dates you promised?” Luo Binghe wasn’t going to cry with the strangers around her.

“Of course. I did promise.”

“Then, may I have one kiss to tide me over?”

Shen Qingqiu sighed. “No, Binghe, it’s too soon.”

“When?”

“Later.”

Luo Binghe was about to ask her to elaborate when Shen Qingqiu suddenly turned on her heel and started marching toward the bar.

“What are you doing?” Luo Binghe caught up to her.

“Getting a drink,” said Shen Qingqiu.

“You don’t need another drink!”

“A tea! I’m getting myself a non-alcoholic tea to sober up!”

Shen Qingqiu kept her promise. They met once a week at a coffee shop by campus for a couple of hours to talk. Only talk. The confession and their feelings never came up. It was strictly a conversation between a teacher and her former student. 

When the new semester began, Shen Qingqiu got busy with work and for the first time, Luo Binghe did not have the pressure of classes on her shoulders. She had started working at her father’s company, and as requested, started in an entry level position in her desired department. She had nepotism on her side and fully intended to use it to climb her way up. Due to her new demanding job, it made it harder for her to attend their weekly coffee dates. She didn’t want this, she didn’t want their schedules to misalign and make it impossible to be together, to drift apart. This fear gnawed at her on the days she couldn’t see Shen Qingqiu.

When Luo Binghe’s diplomas came in the mail, she asked Shen Qingqiu to meet with her. Every single one of these meetings she hoped that Shen Qingqiu would give her the answer she wanted but the topic never came up. She stayed cool and collected with each little date and it was driving Luo Binghe insane.

She came to their usual cafe with cozy chairs and the six different flavors of sweet croissants and their own line of tea. She had a canvas bag tucked under her arm with the precious diploma.

Shen Qingqiu arrived shortly after Luo Binghe had placed their order and sat down. Shen Qingqiu waved as she came over. The ivory floral maxi skirt fluttered around her as she walked, the green scarf already being unwound from around her neck and balled up in her hands. She was flushed with the cold, her nose pink, and stray hairs poked out from under her knit beanie. It was the same shade of green as her scarf.

Shen Qingqiu liked to knit. She also wanted to learn how to crochet. She knew a little sewing but nothing past simple clothes, pillow cases, and minor alterations. She wanted to move out to a nice house in a quiet neighborhood where she could really start a garden and get a cat (her current condo had a no pet policy). She wanted to travel through Europe. As a kid, she wanted to be a zoologist. Her favorite color is teal but finds green a nice, cozy color. She worried about getting married because she would have to top her eldest sibling’s wedding.

These little tidbits were things she never learned through their classes or shared office hours. In the din of the cafe, they didn’t talk about classes or books. They talked about each other and their lives.

Luo Binghe loved this peace, the satisfaction that came with their relationship. It was the heavy hammer weighing over their heads that put a strain on their tranquility.

“Hello, Binghe,” said Shen Qingqiu. She looked really pretty with her hair flattened under her hat and the mock neck ribbed shirt where a little gold chain glinted at her throat. Her eyes looked especially bright, made up with a little more eyeshadow than her usual natural look, and an artificial rosiness to her cheeks from the blush. Luo Binghe wanted to kiss her pink-painted lips so badly, admiring how it was a stunning shade of rose instead of the muted pink she always liked to wear. 

“Good morning, Shizun!” Luo Binghe chirped back. She was nearly vibrating in her seat.

“What’s with that big bag?” Shen Qingqiu laughed as she dropped her purse, coat, scarf, and hat into her chair, straightening out her hair that stood up with static.

“Sit down and I’ll show you.” Luo Binghe eagerly pulled the bag into her lap, ready to show her surprise. 

“Give me a moment to order—”

“Thank you for waiting,” a batista came up with a tray full of their drinks and snacks. “I have the hot matcha latte with soy milk and honey, the chai latte, an almond cherry croissant, and the everything bagel with extra cream cheese.” Their order was arranged on the little table between them when they were asked if they needed anything else. Luo Binghe said no and thanked her. She left. Shen Qingqiu still stood there with her wallet in hand.

“You’re so sweet, thank you” she said softly, her head ducked down as she cleared off her seat to dig into her matcha latte and croissant. “Now show me what you have there.”

Luo Binghe whipped the diplomas out without further ado, already tucked in two floating frames and ready to go on her wall. “It’s official! I have my bachelor’s in communications and sociology. I’m thinking of going back and getting my master’s in sociology so I can continue to move forward in my career.”

Shen Qingqiu’s smile was so bright and soft. “Congratulations. I’m proud of you for all your hard work and dedication. Will you at least take a break after this? You did just complete it in less than five years and it takes students six years minimum.”

Luo Binghe preened under her praise. “Not to be straightforward, but since this finally arrived and Lunar New Year is almost here…” She was going to be very straightforward. “But do you have an answer for me yet?”

Shen Qingqiu blinked, then realization dawned on her. “Ah, yes.” She took a long sip of her latte. “I have been considering and I, uh, might have reached my conclusion a while ago but I didn’t, well, we’ve been having fun and…”

Luo Binghe’s heart sank. She assumed the worst case, or second to worst, because the worst would be Shen Qingqiu leaving her for good. She couldn’t stand that. She might do something crazy like lock her in one of her father’s nice houses in the mountains and hole themselves up there forever.

“You—! I mean,” Shen Qingqiu cleared her throat. She was pinker now, despite the warmth of the cafe. “If you’re still… thinking about it and didn’t change your mind.”

“No. My feelings are sincere.” She had a damn scrapbook filled with wedding plans. Fabric swatches and all.

“Well, I realized that I might… that I don’t think I can stand being away from you. I like the idea of us… as a, as a thing. A couple.”

Luo Binghe was already lunging across the table to grab her, to kiss her, to yank her into her being and make them inseparable. Was it too early for a ring? Maybe a promise ring. Shen Qingqiu nearly spilled her latte, stiff in Luo Binghe’s arms where she was pulled over the table.

“Can I kiss you now?” asked Luo Binghe.

“Not here! Not now!” They were drawing attention. Shen Qingqiu was red-faced. Luo Binghe liked how she looked very much.

“When!?”

“Later! A date, we’ll go on a proper date that I will arrange, of course, I am the senior here, and then we can k-kiss or…”

Luo Binghe had her first kiss outside the cafe with her hands interlaced with Shen Qingqiu’s.