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Aaron held the door open for him as David moved inside slowly, partly because of his injuries and partly because he was drinking in the sights of being back in his house.
"Welcome home", Aaron said as he stepped up beside him.
David let out a big sigh, "it's good to be home."
"Let's get you settled on the couch and off your feet."
David felt fond amusement and chose not to point out they'd only just stood up out of the car. He would happily let Aaron fuss over him.
He followed Aaron slowly, looking around as he entered the living area. He spotted Jane standing up from the couch and finally saw what he'd been aching to see for weeks.
"Isla", David said in a reverent whisper.
"Well, come and have a cuddle with your daughter, she's been missing you," Jane said, taking a couple steps towards him.
Forgetting about any pain, David moved faster than he thought possible, already reaching out for his daughter. She noticed him, reached for him and strained towards him, her little face lighting up.
Aaron was quickly beside him, helping to support Isla in his arms, although he didn't feel the weight of her.
"That's right, she's been looking everywhere, haven't you little one, looking for your da da." Aaron said to Isla.
"da da", Isla echoed, looking up into David's face and clutching at him.
David gasped, looking frantically at Aaron and Jane, "did you hear!? She called me da da!"
"She started saying it, has been saying it since you've been gone," Aaron explained.
"We all agree that she was asking for you, that you were her first word," Jane said gently.
David's eyes filled with tears, it felt like his heart was being squeezed, "I think I need to sit down."
Aaron quickly helped him over to the couch. Having to sit down renewed his awareness of his pain, but he distracted himself by watching his daughter as she grabbed and played with his jacket and hands.
"Why don't I leave the two of you to spend some time alone with your daughter, " Jane said as she left.
Aaron set about making him a drink and a snack, and David allowed himself to settle into the reality. He was home and back with his daughter.
He brushed his fingers over the soft wispy hair of her head and quietly spoke to her, "I missed you very much my little girl. I know that you were sad that I was away, I'm so sorry. I want you to know that I will never ever do something that could take me away from you ever again. I promise."
She quietened and got heavier against his chest. She was drifting off to sleep when Aaron returned. He set down a plate and cup and slipped in beside David on the couch, "I hope that promise goes for me as well. "
"Absolutely."
-
Aaron's heart was thudding slow and steady under his ear, fingers were whisper soft against the skin of his back, arms were strong, cradling David against his chest.
David couldn't help but flashback to all the nights he spent in his prison cot, cold and scared. His breathing must have hitched, because Aaron paused, murmuring, "you ok? "
David nodded and tried for a relaxed, 'mhmm', which he apparently did not pull off cause Aaron craned his neck back to get a look at his face. "David, what's wrong? "
He gave in and answered quietly and honestly, "I was just thinking about how much I missed this. I would try to pretend that you were there with me, but it never really worked."
Aaron stroked his fingers comfortingly through David's hair and kissed his forehead.
"Being here in our home, in our bed, in your arms, there is nowhere I feel safer."
"Well you're here now, home and safe. Come here."
A ridiculous amused giggle bubbled out of David's lips, "I'm already here, it's physically impossible for me to get any closer."
"You know you can't issue a challenge like that to me, " Aaron said in playful outrage and turned onto his side using both of his arms and a leg to squeeze David in against him.
David was laughing and grunting in pain as his many injuries were jostled.
Aaron’s arms loosened immediately and he chanted, "sorry sorry sorry."
David laughed and groaned one more time before settling back into Aaron's arms," it's ok."
Their breathing quietened again and Aaron said, "I missed you too."
-
He had only been home about five days but it was the first time he was taking care of Isla alone. Aaron had been in quite the panic when the manager at the Shed called in sick and they couldn't find a last minute fill-in. He hadn't left David’s side since his return, and with Nicolette and Jane also working, they'd realised David would be alone. Of course, David insisted that it wasn't a big deal and spent the rest of the evening reassuring Aaron and making up elaborate plans for the lovely day he would have with his daughter to convince him.
As he got Isla out of the car and settled her in the pram, he started to second guess himself. A feeling of uneasiness settled on him but he brushed it away and spoke to Isla as he started to walk towards the Lassiter complex, "I'll just get a nice hot cup of tea then we can go for a little walk, then maybe a nice sit down."
It was a fairly quiet mid-morning, just one or two people around. He started for the coffee shop when there was a sudden fracas around him. David flinched as several big figures surrounded him. He froze as his eyes saw the four or five big muscular men and he heard the rowdy shouting. His heart leapt up into his mouth, blood roaring in his ears.
Before he could even register what was happening they were leaving him behind, continuing to jostle each other through the complex.
Thoughts were racing through his head as he tried to convince himself that everything was ok but the panic had a hold of him and was racing ahead out of his control.
David didn't know how long it had been when he realised someone was trying to get his attention.
It was Freya.
"David," she was talking to him in a gentle voice, telling him to take some deep breaths. That sounded like a good idea. In and out, in and out. Eventually he was able to focus his eyes on her, she was giving him a gentle comforting look and said reassuringly, "that's right you're ok. Do you feel better now?"
"Y-y-yes," David said, needing a couple tries to get his voice to work.
"Can you tell me what happened?"
"There were these men," David said vaguely.
"Did they hurt you?"
David shook his head, "no they didn't do anything, I just got a fright. "
"How about we sit down for a second?" Freya came around beside him and gently took his elbow, the other hand on the pram handle.
"Isla", David cried with panic as he frantically leaned over to check on his daughter.
"She's ok, she's just been sitting there chilling," Freya said with a kind smile. "Now come on."
Freya sat with him and they talked. Once over his shock, David started to feel embarrassed, which she promptly dismissed as unnecessary. And despite his protestations, she called Aaron. Then she stayed with him until Aaron came not ten minutes later.
David stood the second he saw Aaron and started a litany apologies and regrets for taking him away from work. Aaron brushed past them all and just gathered David straight up into his arms.
David took a long shuddering breath and let it out slowly, letting his whole body sink into the warm, tight embrace.
When they went home, they had a long talk, and David agreed that he would like to go to therapy.
-
"You won't believe what Mark just told me!"
David looked up from his book to find that Aaron had returned from the sunroom and his phone call with his brother with a beaming smile on his face.
"We are going to be to be uncles again?"
Aaron paused, "no... at least I don't think so. "
He shook himself and continued over to sit beside David on the couch. He was buzzing with excited animation, "Mark has been offered a promotion, and it means- wait for it, relocating to Melbourne!"
David's eyes went wide, "oh wow that's, that's..."
"Amazing, I know! Mark told me that they've basically decided on it, but they are just waiting for his work details to be sorted out. David, Mark and Paige are moving back to Melbourne!"
David smiled broadly, a rush of excited happiness hitting him. It wasn't just about his own feelings, getting to see Mark and Paige and the kids on a regular basis, it was seeing and knowing how absolutely elated Aaron'd be about living near his brother again. Family was so important to Aaron and he was always happiest when his siblings were a part of his life. "That's incredible news, Boo!"
"Isn't it brilliant! Mark didn't tell me exactly where they'd live, or where he'd be working. But it will be happening pretty quickly."
Aaron continued excitedly babbling, David smiled at him fondly, sliding a hand onto his knee and listening happily.
-
David had been going to therapy twice a week for a few weeks now. To start with, it was painful and draining- talking of his trauma from prison, his physical and emotional injuries, his shame about what he had done and grappling with how to fit it into the kind of person he’d thought he was. But soon it was a relief to get it all out there, to make sense of everything that'd happened to him. With help from the therapist, he could begin to build himself back up and focus on his future, but also on his wonderful present.
"So how's everything going with your husband's brother?" the therapist asked.
"Yep it's official, his job is on this side of the city but he's warned Aaron that they are looking at places twenty, thirty minutes away from us. I think Aaron was imagining Mark moving back into Ramsay Street. I've been talking to Paige about all of the parks and cafes we can meet up at."
"Something positive to focus on is always a good thing."
"It's been a very good thing. And all of this talk about having more family around got me thinking. I called my mum yesterday and floated the idea about her moving to Melbourne to be closer to Leo and I. "
"Your mother lives in Sydney right?"
"Yes and she's always dug her heels in about leaving but I was surprised about her reaction this time. I don't know if it was the mention of being around to watch Isla and Abi grow up but she actually said that she would think about it."
-
"Hey." David jolted out of his reverie and returned Aaron's smile, "hey."
He let his eyes drift back over to the scene in front of him, unable to look away. Aaron came up beside him, "whatcha looking at?"
"Our family," David answered, voice full of awe.
Aaron's arms curled around his shoulders, his cheek tilting to lean against David's head. Then they watched the scene together, soaking it in. David's mother was in the sunroom with Jane, playing with a happy Isla. Mark, Chloe and Leo amongst others were talking around the table and Paige was on a picnic rug with her children and Abi.
"This feels kind of perfect doesn't it," David murmured.
"It does, it still needs Tyler and Piper here to complete the picture for me.”
"Paige told me she doesn't think they will be far behind." David tone changed as he continued hesitantly, "almost feels like we should be waiting for the other shoe to drop."
" Nah", Aaron said, "after what we've been through the last couple years, I think we have earned quite a bit of good luck."
Aaron pulled back and moved his hands to David's shoulders to give them a quick rub.
David grunted as Aaron's hands found a knot.
"Are you still sore?" Aaron asked, shifting to rub David's shoulders more purposefully.
"After all the travelling and packing we've been doing the last few weeks to help out Mark and Paige and my mum, I feel as stiff as an 80-year-old man."
Aaron chuckled, "it wasn't that bad, they both had professional movers and we only went to Sydney to help out your mother."
"Yeah says the man who works out for a living, but for a mere mortal like me... I'm going to need some time to recover. "
Aaron sniggered and wrapped his arms around David's chest, dropping a kiss down onto his shoulder.
"So, now that Mark is around, living 20 minutes away, am I ever going to see you or will you be off hanging out with your brother?" David asked playfully.
"Are you kidding, you and Isla are my number ones! You guys are who I want to hang out with all the time. And after your... time away, I can barely stand to be away from you while I'm working, let alone voluntarily."
David fell silent for a moment, when he spoke again, he was much more serious, "I was thinking, wondering if you would come to one of my therapy sessions?"
Aaron's arms slipped from around him and turned him so that they were facing each other, "if you want me to, of course I will. "
"My therapist has mentioned the idea, that we could have a 'couples session' and talk about what happened. Maybe it would be good for you as well."
Aaron was silent for a moment and David felt cautious and unsure if Aaron was about to get defensive.
Aaron's hands were warm on his shoulders. He said softly, "I wasn't the one who went through what you did."
"No but you had to watch it from afar, unable to do anything, and deal with the fact that I almost destroyed our life together."
"David", Aaron jumped in to reassure him.
David shook his head, "it's ok if you felt that. I think it would be good for us to talk it all out."
"... ok."
David nodded, feeling relieved but also a bit nervous about the idea.
"Hey boys", Paige called.
Aaron looked up and David turned his head.
"Stop standing around and gazing into each other's eyes and get over here, the adult to kid ratio is way too low and I'm going to lose control any second."
Aaron ducked in and brushed a kiss to David's lips before they headed over to play with the kids.
-
His mother had come over for dinner, and it felt good to spend some time with her and to see her bonding with Isla. It all felt very new, not that David had never gone to visit her in Sydney, although a lot less than he probably should have. And with all of the logistical problems of travelling with a baby and the disruptions in their life this year, Isla had never met her grandmother in person.
After a long phone conversation, he had got her set up on Zoom, where she spent a lot of time talking to Isla. But there was something different about a person being a part of your day to day life. David was glad Isla would have that with his mother, and he was glad to have it back again for himself.
But it was slightly bizarre and disorienting. When he was around his mother, he often felt like a little boy again, or at least like a repressed twenty something who was so scared of his sexuality he narrowed his life to study and work and one or two family members.
She knew of course that things had changed: he had come out, fallen in love, gotten married and had a child. But it was one thing to know and another to see it in action. He couldn't help but feel a bit self-conscious, like he didn't quite know which David to be.
When he had voiced his confusion a few days ago, Aaron had assured him, "you just need time to get used to the new situation and let her get to know who you are now. Just give it time."
Aaron entered the living area, new nappy in hand. "Alright, if I could steal you from grandma for a second, we can get your nappy changed and put you in your pyjamas."
"Could I do that? Not the nappy part, you're free to do that, but I'd love to put her pyjamas on, if that's ok?"
"Of course, " Aaron said, happily. "Then if you'd like to, you could read her a story before I put her to bed."
David finished making cups of tea and joined his mother on the couch as she manoeuvred Isla into her sleepwear. "You're a dab hand at that, she can get a bit wriggly," Aaron said from where he was still kneeling on the floor.
"Been a few years but I did this so many times with the boys it's like muscle memory."
Aaron went and grabbed a selection of books for Kim to read to Isla. Then Aaron picked up his own cup and squeezed onto the couch behind David. David fought down the tension that he often felt about PDA in front of his mother, telling himself that he wanted to share his life in its entirety. She clearly accepted their relationship, so he just needed to get over himself.
He leaned back into Aaron and listened to the story. His mother's reading brought back warm memories of his own childhood and of himself at that age.
Isla was listening rapturously.
"And then they lived happily ever after. The end."
Isla was looking warm and relaxed and sleepy against his mother’s side. Aaron got up and picked her up carefully, pausing to let Kim kiss Isla on the head.
"Looks like it's time for bed. If I don't see you again tonight Kim, goodnight and it was so nice to have you here."
"Thank you for having me in your home Aaron."
Aaron leaned over so David could kiss her cheek and whisper goodnight, and then met his eyes in a smile.
On a whim, a rush of bravery built on affection for his husband, David leaned up to give Aaron a kiss also. After the small peck on the lips, David returned the warm smile Aaron gave him.
His mother watched them leave and turned to David, "you have a beautiful family."
David smiled brillantly, "I know."
-
David passed Isla's toy to her when his phone started ringing. He reached over to answer it. Aaron continued playing with Isla, keeping only a vague ear out for David's phone conversation.
"Ok... thank you?" David looked and sounded confused.
Aaron glanced up and started to wonder who David was talking to.
"Wow, wow really?"
"Yes, yes I will, thank you, yes good to talk to you too." David hung up and turned big round eyes on Aaron.
Unable to stand the suspense any longer, Aaron prompted, "Well? Who was it? What did they want? "
"That was the hospital, they offered me my job back," David's voice was far away.
Aaron beamed, "of course they did, you're the best doctor in the entire world, of course they want you back."
David shock finally broke and he cracked a tentative smile, "I can't believe it."
"I can. "
"After what I did, after being arrested, I figured my career was over."
"You were found innocent,"
"Still. "
"No, you deserve this David
"It's just really hard to imagine something good happening. I don't quite believe in it."
" I understand. But you better get used to it, if I have any say in it, you'll be so overwhelmed by good things you won't know what to do with yourself."
David smiled fondly at him.
"So wait, they offered you the job... did you take it?"
David shook his head, "they suggested I think about it. I'm going in to talk about it sometime next week."
"That's great. See, everything is going to be okay."
When Aaron opened his arm, David immediately leaned into him, burying his face in Aaron's neck.
-
David kissed Isla on the top of the head and then kissed Aaron.
"Good luck," Aaron was grinning broadly at him.
"Thank you."
"Go and heal the sick Dr Boo."
David returned the smile and headed off into the hospital, looking back to wave and got a little wave back from Isla (with Aaron’s help of course). He smiled to himself, taking a second longer to gaze at his little family. A thought settled gently on his mind, that at some stage he'd like to add to his family. He didn't dwell on the thought, feeling comfortable and settled and patient.
Being allowed to be a doctor again, to do what he was always meant to, to help people, it just felt right. Coming back to work was like the final puzzle piece falling into place.
He felt more like himself than he had in a long time and more sure of himself. He felt ready to put himself out into the world again and steady enough to handle everything life threw at him.
He made his way to his first patient of the day, pausing outside the room to take a deep breath. He opened the door and stepped inside, a relaxed, genuine smile still on his lips,
"Hello Mrs Jones, I am Dr David Tanaka, how are you feeling this morning?"