Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1

Prologue

Mazikeen tore her gaze away from the raging demons below her feet and let her eye settle on her sovereign.

Lucifer had been in a foul mood for quite a while since losing the contest against the King of Dreams. The demons, afraid of whatever torments Morningstar would think of next, had done their best – or worst – to provide distractions. Not that it was to much use anyway. Their sovereign was rarely so easily placated.

Yet, Mazikeen saw the hint of a smile play around Lucifer’s fair lips and, following the gaze of those blue eyes, found the source of the delight.

“Your majesty”, Mazikeen started demurely, “once the Dream of the Endless finds out that he is here, he will demand that his activities be stopped.”

Lucifer’s gaze stayed fixed on the Somniomercator, a rather small and scrawny demon, not even ugly enough to spark much fear in its opponents. But its skills – oh, its skills had proven to be rather useful so far to augment suffering in the waking world as well as add souls to hell. And wasn’t that in itself a great delight?

“Well”, Lucifer said and turned twinkling eyes to Mazikeen. “Then we should enjoy this while it lasts.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 2

Mercatura

You stared at your father and the way he lied in the hospital bed, covered by sterile white sheets.

Could it be called a hospital bed, if it was inside a nursing home?

His once so strong body had sunken in, muscles and tension gone. He was nothing more than a husk now, the shell of a person he had once been.

Once again, you wondered if it was mercy or a punishment that he was still alive.

The brain damage after the accident had taken so much from him: the ability to walk, to eat on his own. He couldn’t even hold his own head up. He couldn’t even speak.

What was it that gave humans life? Character?

Was it the soul? And if it was, could it leave without the body dying?

Your father didn’t seem to recognize you, even when his eyes were open and he reacted to the spoons of food being served to him by a nurse. Something inside his head had to still be working, he was able to swallow after all. To concentrate his eyes on the TV.

But was it just a body that lied there on the bed in front of you? Maybe everything that had made up your father had already left.

Maybe…

You had lost him one way or another. The only person you had still left who had truly cared about you.

“I think I’m gonna leave”, you told Gloria, the kind middle-aged nurse that had been checking up on your dad while you were lost in thought.

“That’s okay, honey”, she told you with a smile. “It’s great that you keep visiting, but don’t worry if you can’t be with him all the time. He actually sleeps almost 16 hours per day.”

You smiled back, neither feeling better nor worse.

This situation simply was.

No inflections, no judgement.

You couldn’t be blamed for the accident, neither could your dad. Now, it was all about living with the aftermath.

Leaving the room and going out into the hallway, you stared at the dying flowers on one of the window sills.

Kind of a morbid symbolism for a nursing home.

“Excuse me”, a pale young man said and squeezed past you.

“Oh, it’s okay”, you said, but he had already made it down the hall, grabbed the umbrella stand and vomited inside.

Gross, you thought as you scrunched up your nose but made your way over there anyway.

“You okay?”, you asked carefully. He was definitely too young to be a patient.

“Yeah…no”, he mumbled and you could see his hand shaking as he furiously rubbed tears from the corners of his eyes. “Not really.”

“Dude!”, another guy from behind you called. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

You turned around to stare at another young man, around your age, maybe a little older, who gestured wildly towards one of the rooms.

“Guys, seriously”, you said with a lowered, but firm voice. “Have some respect, these people are really… sensitive.”

“Yeah, yeah, no shit”, guy number two had given up on gesturing and made his way over. “We have to finish our conversation anyway.” He grabbed his buddy by the arm and tore him down the hallway, into the room next to your dad’s.

Huh.

How did the saying go?

Curiosity killed the cat.

Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, you leaned against the wall, head inclined towards the door that hadn’t quite fallen shut.

“We could at least try”, guy number two said.

“No”, a weak voice you hadn’t heard before argued back.

“Jeff is right”, puking guy chimed in. “It will just make everything worse. Do you wanna go straight to hell?”

“Do you want to have an entire lifetime in peace, with your wish, or do you wanna end like Jeff?”, number two hissed.

“I’d be fucking guilty for the rest of my life!”, the other cursed back. “Feel fucking guilty. What kind of life is that?”

“Hey, you’re still here?”, Gloria called and waved to you. She had stepped out of your dad’s room and spotted you. “It’s okay, really. He is fine, you can go home.”

The other room had gone eerily quiet.

Ah, shit.

“Well, hello”, guy number two suddenly stood in the doorway when Gloria had already turned away and made her way to the laundry room. “Eavesdropping, aren’t we?”

“Uh…”, you tried to play it off cool. “You friend just hurled into the umbrella stand, that’s gotta make a girl curious.” You shrugged.

Without answering, he grabbed your arm, pulling you into the room and closed the door (for real this time).

“I’m Simon, this is Patrick and this”, he pointed to the guy lying on the bed, “Is Jeff.”

Jeff – to put it mildly – looked absolutely fucking terrible.

Despite looking tall, he couldn’t weigh more than eighty pounds. His skin was so pale that it looked almost grey and stretched across his bones in a way that made you scared it could snap at any moment.

Like an overexerted rubber band.

He looked to be around twenty-five years old.

“Oh… oh God”, you whispered. “What is wrong with him?” Not that it was any of your business, but you had thrown yourself into the situation this far, now you might as well see it through.

“About… everything?”, Simon replied. “Stage four colon cancer, osteoporosis and what not.”

“Jesus”, you murmured (not that you were particularly religious).

“Simon, just… just let her go”, Patrick said. He suddenly looked frightened.

Looking from one to the other, you couldn’t help but note a devious glint in Simon’s eyes.

“How old are you exactly?”, he asked you.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you tried to shake the cold feeling that crawled up your spine. “Tweny-one, why?”

“Simon…”, Patrick shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I mean it.”

“Just checking whether you are of age”, Simon explained with a broad smile.

Raising your palms into the air, you couldn’t supress an airy laugh. “Woah, easy tiger”, you said. “Not interest. Especially not in circumstances like this”, you tilted your head in Jeff’s direction, who made sounds that (at least in your imagination) were pretty close to a death rattle.

Simon put an arm around your shoulder. “Nothing like that”, he laughed and made a throw-away hand gesture. “Tell me, do you have something that you wish for? Would you do anything, so that is could come true?”

______________________________________

This had to be a tremendously stupid idea.

Too bad that you were so fucking curious by nature.

Summoning a demon to make your wish come true, come on. That had to be some lame bullshit. What could these guys want from you?

Gang rape?

Take your skin to make themselves a human coat?

And yet, you were still curious. So, you called your best friend Mike, a (not a joke) gay tap dancer, to drive you to the address given to you by Simon and wait outside.

In case something would go wrong, you would either call him or, if you hadn’t texted him in ten minutes, he would come up there himself.

“This is kinda exciting”, Mike told you with raised eyebrows as he drummed his fingers against the stirring wheel. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s also really stupid and fucking reckless, but exciting. Is one of these guys hot?”

“Shut up, Mike”, you mumbled as the city lights flashed over the windshield. Your courage was starting to leave you.

Originally, you had just wanted to get out of that room. Then, Mike had spit-balled that you could ridicule these idiots. You had had Latin in school for eight years, surely they wouldn’t be able to sneak a fake ritual past you.

But one thing had stuck by you.

One wish that would come true no matter what.

What if it was true? What if you could have all the money in the world?

Or the perfect body?

Or a talent you had always wanted?

Or your dad back?

Dad…

“Whatchu gonna wish for?”, Mike asked as he parked the car.

Fuck, were you there already?

“Um… I dunno”, you shrugged. “Won’t come true anyway.”

“Aw, come on, who knows”, Mike sent you a sad look. “I know that everything with your dad has been –“

“You know what, I’m just gonna wing it”, you interrupted him in a fake cheery voice. “Let’s ridicule some idiot-boys!”

Matching your fake cheery energy, Mike whooped and held up his phone, signalling you that he would be ready to the rescue.

Hopping up the stairs into the third floor made your stomach sink a little. But Mike was sporty, he could make it up here before they had gutted you…

Hopefully.

Patrick opened the door when you knocked. “Leave, please leave!”, he hissed and closed the door in your face again.

“Uh…”, you made unintelligibly.

Less than a second later, Simon opened the door again. “Hello sunshine!”

He guided you inside, not even taking your jacket or handbag.

“I’ve prepared everything already, this won’t take more than five minutes”, he declared as he let you into the living room.

You send Mike a thumbs up, the emoji meaning “still alive”.

In the middle of the living room, there was a pentagram drawn onto the floor, surrounded by other symbols you didn’t know.

“What the –“, you came to a halt. “Is that written in blood?”

“Calm down”, Simon said breezily as he lifted his left arm, showing off a bandage. “It’s my blood, no one else has been harmed.”

“I think I wanna… I wanna go”, you mumbled, turning around.

“Easy, easy”, Simon jumped forward and grabbed your jacket. “’m not gonna force you, that wouldn’t work anyway. Just listen to the conditions and then decide whether you wanna do it or not.”

You spied Patrick sitting in a corner furthest away from the Pentagram.

He would stop Simon from killing you, right?

“So, this is the deal”, Simon started as he knelt on one side of the pentagram and gestured for you to sit on the other. “You vow to make a trade with a demon. He grants you the ability to control your dreams and a wish. In return, you have to pay any price he demands.”

“He just takes from you!”, Patrick threw in. “From Jeff, he took his health. And from Jess her boyfriend. She lost herself in depression and killed herself! You can never know what he is gonna take from you!” Tears glistened in his eyes.

You had no idea who Jess was, but that didn’t sound good.

“Yeah, but if you bring someone else into the ritual, he takes that as your payment”, Simon defended himself. “You never have to pay up, keep your wish and can control your dreams. Do you have any idea how awesome that is? You always know that you are dreaming and can change whatever you want. Kinda like inception, only without the thieves and stuff.”

“Yes, but when you lead someone else into damnation, your soul will go to hell when you die!”, Patrick sobbed.

“That’s just gossip”, Simon snorted. “No one knows whether that is true.”

“Were you guys brought into the ritual this way?”, you asked carefully.

“Yep, and it has been great!”, Simon declared and laughed nervously. “As long as you choose your wish wisely.”

You chewed your bottom lip. This was still tremendously stupid, but you had kind of a cheeky idea.

What were the odds that this would work anyway? They were probably still fucking with you. Just another practical joke.

Granted that Patrick was a really great actor…

“And I won’t go to hell anyway?”, you asked. “For making a deal with a demon?”

“Nope”, Simon popped the plosive sound. “The deal is that the demon gets payment for the wish and the dreams and then you are off the hook. You get to keep both.”

“Not that either is very useful for Jeff or Jess now”, Patrick murmured.

“Could you shut the fuck up!?”, Simon yelled.

“So, what, you want me to do this, so you are off the hook?”, you asked Simon. “No payment but possibly eternal damnation for your soul?”

Simon shrugged. “But I get to keep my wish.”

“Huh…”, you kept biting your lower lip. That better be one hell of a wish. “Can I wish for whatever I want? Or are there rules?”

“Whatever you want”, Simon confirmed. “Can be as abstract as you want it to be. Hell, I heard from a guy who asked for immortality. Some say, that he visits the same pub with this very demon in human form every hundred years.”

“Okay”, you nodded slowly. “I’m in.”

________________________________________

“So?”, Mike asked as you jumped back in the car, five minutes later. “How did go?”

You shook your head and tried to dry your sweaty palms on your jeans. “It was weird. I just had to write my wish on a piece of paper, Simon chanted some shit and called for the Somniomercator and then burned my wish. That was it.” You shrugged. “I call bullshit. But hey, I’m still alive.”

“Did you at least get to make fun of them?”, Mike asked.

“Not really”, you send him an apologetic look. “He chanted in English. The name was the only Latin thing.”

“And what does it mean?”

“Not sure”, you pulled at your fingernails nervously. “Something like Dream-Merchant?”

“Huh”, Mike made, obviously disappointed that the adventure turned out to be not so adventurous at all. “So, what did you wish for?”

You just shot him a toothy grin.

Mike snorted. “You’ll tell me when it comes true anyway.”

_________________________________________

That night you controlled your first dream.

Which was really frightening, considering the fact that this meant that at least some of the stuff Simon had said had to be true.

It was also fucking awesome.

You spent about a month going to bed super early and sleeping as long as possible, simply to ride unicorns or go to Hogwarts or kick your bullies from fourth grade into their shins in your sleep.

It got a little trickier after a couple of nights. If you could dream up whatever you wanted, what would you do?

It wasn’t real after all. So, talking to JFK would be kinda useless if it was just your imagination you were talking too.

Flying and breathing underwater got boring too after a while.

But then…

Then you found the door.

A pale-yellow door with a golden doorknob and golden mail slot.

Right there. In the middle of the frozen lake you were ice skating upon with the cast of Sesame Street. Things had really gotten kinda unoriginal in your own dream world. You had just wanted to see Big Bird and Count Count in ice skates, to be completely honest.

There wasn’t even a wall. Just the door.

“Be right back, guys”, you called over your shoulder to no one in particular. Cookie Monster waved back at you.

The door felt real, but everything in your dreams did since that ritual. Snow was cold, fire burned, being cut or poked or falling fucking hurt.

You turned the doorknob experimentally.

It wasn’t locked.

You opened the door, which creaked slightly, and peeked into a hallway.

You changed your ice skates into your usual trainers with just a thought and stepped over the threshold. Behind you, you could still see the frozen lake and hear Ernie laughing.

As you let go of the doorknob and stepped further into the hallway, the door fell shut behind you. All sound from your dream died. Turning around, you saw that on a golden sign, matching the doorknob and mail slit, was your name written on the door.

Furrowing your brows, you took in the hallway. There were doors upon doors, in different sizes, shapes and colours. All of them had nametags.

The rest of the hallway was filled with a warm light due to evenly spaced oil lamps. The walls were wood-paneled and the ceiling resembled a starlit night.

“Wow”, you whispered and shrugged out off your thick jacket. It was cosily warm in that corridor.

Looking at the door opposite yours, you were surprised to find Mike’s name. The door next to yours belonged to your dad, the one on the other side to your half-sister.

You went down the hallway to one side, but found no one you knew.

On the other side there was your mum, her new husband and your older brother. You had noticed that some doors were shifting positions, so you didn’t dare to go around a corner, afraid that you might lose your yellow door.

On a whim, you tried to open the door with your sister’s name on it. It wasn’t locked.

Inside you found a castle which looked suspiciously familiar to a real-life version of the doll castle your sister had gotten for last Christmas. She was seven.

You found her in the back yard of the castle, sitting on a swing and wearing a princess dress.

She called your name when she saw you and jumped off the swing.

“What are you doing here?”, she called as she jumped into your arms for a hug.

“Just checking up on you, honey”, you replied and hugged her back. You hadn’t seen her in months, despite living in the same city.

“I’ve missed you”, she said.

“I’ve missed you too”, you whispered, trying to swallow your tears.

You spent some time in – as you could only guess – your sister dream.

Afterwards you went into Mike’s, just for a test. Of course, you interrupted a vivid sex dream that would scar you for life, but it was enough for what you needed. He had seen you.

____________________________________

“Guess what”, Mike, who was also your roommate by the way, told you the next morning. “I dreamt about you last night. You kinda ruined a great one-night stand. Isn’t that freaky?”

“Yeah”, you mumbled into your coffee, hiding a smirk. “Freaky.”

____________________________________

You took great care not to cause any harm. You didn’t enter strangers’ dreams. And when you visited friends or family, you didn’t change anything or stood out. You just checked up on stuff.

You had always had a tense relationship with your mum, so it was interesting to see what she would dream about.

After some searching you found one of your professors from college and tried to find anything on upcoming tests. That was probably the most selfish thing you did.

But mostly you visited your sister or friends that lived too far away for a quick ‘real’ visit. You did not dare however, to walk through your dad’s door.  

But then you saw him.

A dark man, with a torn coat and a bent back. Not inside someone’s nightmare, but in the fucking corridor.

After letting out a scared scream (somewhere in the back of your mind fearing that the demon had come for you after all), you bolted for your yellow door.

From the corner of your eye, you could see that he was following you. Thankfully, the more panicked you got, the closer your door moved towards you, switching places with other doors. As soon as you were through, you leaned your back against the wall of your childhood bedroom (a place which was apparently something like your safe space) and let out a relieved breath.

Then a creak.

A squeak.

And your door opened.

You let out an ear shattering scream as the man stepped into your room. The weather outside the room which could be seen through the single window, changed rapidly from sunshine to thunderclouds with your mood.

The man lunged forward and grabbed your shoulders while you tried to fight him off. It was no use, he was stronger than you.

“Stop”, he hissed in a scratchy voice. His voice sounded like sandpaper like it was barely used. “You have to stop it, or he will find you!”

“Let me go!”, you cried.

“He cannot find us”, the man continued. It had gotten so dark in the room that you couldn’t see his face. “He cannot find us or he will stop us.”

“Who?”, you sobbed. “Who are you talking about.”

“Him”, the stranger hissed. “The Sandman!”

He gave you one more rough shake and disappeared through your door.

You tried to concentrate despite your tears and panicked hiccups. You could change your clothes upon whim, as well as the locations of your dreams.

Concentrating on your yellow door, you created a keyhole and a key on a chain appeared around your neck.

You checked it several times over the next couple of nights. Once you had locked the door from the inside or the outside, it couldn’t be opened. And every night you entered your dreams, the door was still locked as you had left it the night before and the key was around your neck.

No one would find you in your own dreams.

Not the creepy stranger…

… and certainly not a Sandman.

____________________________________

“My lord”, Lucienne said as she approached the King of Dreams and Nightmares. “There is a problem.”

“Yes”, Morpheus replied as he looked through the windows at his realm. “I have felt it too.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

Inoboediens

“Is it another Vortex, sir?”, Lucienne asked, clutching the book in her hands tightly. “Already?”

“No”, Morpheus shook his head slightly. “It’s something else. A disturbance in the corridor.”

“The corridor?”, Lucienne blinked incredulously. “But… when was the last time you used the corridor, my lord?”

“Thousands of years ago”, Morpheus replied.

After the collapse of that universe that he had neglected he had been too fearful of making another mistake that he had endured the tedious and laborious task of controlling the dreams manually, so to speak, by using the doors to enter the world of the individual dreamers.

It was not necessary, of course, and he had soon stopped that silly game. Every creature he created and he himself could enter and exit the dreams of any mortal without a door. It didn’t require more than a thought.

The corridor was nothing more than the physical manifestation of a concept. Just as all of them were.

“Two mortals have left through their doors”, he continued, furrowing his brows as he attempted to sense what had gone wrong in his realm. “And entered the dreams of others.”

“How?”, Lucienne asked in wonder. Something like this had not happened since the banishment, over a thousand years ago.

Annoyance at his own ignorance coursed hot through Morpheus, a feeling that he was not used to. It burned just as hotly as when he had not known the whereabouts of his tools or his lost nightmares.

“I do not know”, he finally confessed quietly, not showing his inner turmoil.

“Lucid dreaming, perhaps?”, Lucienne inquired. “Humans have managed to find themselves within their dreams and control their worlds. Perhaps –“

“No”, Morpheus interrupted her, gently, as to not show disrespect. “This concept the humans have coined lucid dreaming allows them to control their dream worlds, but not find their doors, let alone enter the corridor. It must be something else.”

He took a deep breath, trying to quell his frustration and annoyance. He was the king of this realm after all. This was nothing he should not be able to remedy. “I will take care of it myself, Lucienne”, he turned around to look at his loyal subject. “Will you see to it that everything is sought after while I am gone.”

Lucienne still couldn’t help that small, proud smile whenever her king asked. “Of course, my lord.”

_____________________________________________

It took you quite a while to dare to leave your own dreams again. While you passed time on your own side of the yellow door, you wished the time back when your dreams would just be summoned by your subconscious, not something you could actively control.

This just made them exhausting and boring when you couldn’t leave.

But damn it, you had gone through too much risk to get this. Never mind that you had never truly wanted it to begin with.

You had made a pact with a demon, however, and had gotten a price, so you might as well enjoy it. You didn’t know, after all, whether repercussions might still come. So, you decided to visit your sister after your initial shock caused by the stranger had died down.

She must have visited a local fair or something of the sort in the recent days, because that was what she dreamed about. As you stepped through her door (after having made damn sure that your own was locked), you could see her riding on the ferris wheel, waving to you happily. Next to her sat a giant moving – and apparently, talking – teddy bear, that also waved in your direction.

Her dream door, which was pink and covered in daisies, blend in perfectly into one of the booths. The doors of other dreamers never stood out as drastically as yours had that first day on the frozen lake.

Curiously, you looked around the people that mingled on the fair. They all looked relatively normal, but the closer you got, the sillier the conversations were.

People talking nonsense about taxes, finances, bills and everything and anything concerning numbers and payments.

Your sister seemed to have a very limited imagination of grown-up-talk.

Next to one booth you spied a man in dark clothing with dark hair.

Unbelievable, your sister had even dreamt up a goth guy.

Shaking your head, you made your way to the ferris wheel and spent some time with your sister and her talking bear, Benjamin.

The next night you lurked around Mike’s dreams. He had met a guy while partying last weekend. During his waking hours, he adamantly denied having a crush, that he had just felt sexual attraction, but in his dreams, you found nothing but tooth-rotting fluff.

No wild sexual fantasies (which you knew first hand he was very capable of), just picnics in the park, dinner dates, holding hands during a movie night and what not.

“Cute”, you whispered to yourself when you stepped through Mike’s door and found yourself in a restaurant.

While Mike and his dream guy started to eat the same Spaghetti-noodle from different ends, you decided to take a seat and order something. The food in Mike’s dreams was extraordinarily nice.

Taking a look around, you couldn’t help but admire Mike’s sense for romance. There was even a live string quartet playing.

Letting your gaze drift over the tables, your gaze got caught on a familiar head of messy black hair.

Huh.

Was that guy from around the town you lived in?

Maybe both Mike and your sister had seen him somewhere and their subconscious had built him into their dreams.

Or had dreams a limited amount of extras?

His gaze lifted and landed on your face.

A chill ran down your spine. His eyes were a pale, icy blue.

And he wouldn’t look away.

Fuck it, you thought and went back to your own dream.

___________________________________________

You were scared to see the stranger again, so you did not leave every night and didn’t stray far from your own door.

You had started to believe that the placement of the doors was determined by a mixture of actual physical proximity of the dreamers and their emotional proximity. It would explain why Mike’s door never left its place opposite to yours, since he slept right in the next room and was your best friend, but your sister’s door sometimes moved a couple of doors down.

Your mother’s door was never particularly close to yours.

And one night, when you were absolutely furious, you couldn’t help but visit her dream.

She had called you during the day and asked for money, again. Bad enough that she and her husband couldn’t take care of their own finances, but to ask their twenty-one-year-old daughter – who was herself in college, by the way – for money on a regular basis, that was another level of low.

The problem was not lending her the money. The problem was knowing that you would have to fight for weeks to get it back. If at all.

Ever since you saw her steal money from one of your birthday cards after your parents’ divorce, things had never been the same for the two of you.

But the worst thing was, that she would try to blackmail you into lending her the money with your little sister.

“What is she supposed to do, walk through the snow without boots?”

“Do you want your sister to be the only child not to go on the field trip?”

“How am I supposed to get dinner on the table for your sister, if you won’t help me?”

This time, however, you had firmly declined. And your mother had gone feral.

Hurling the same insults at your head as always. She had never hit you, never laid a hand on you, but she was the Queen of verbal abuse.

You didn’t enter her dream to cause harm, of course. You were just yearning to understand. Where did all the money she and her husband made go? It wasn’t a lot and you knew that your mother had a slight shopping addiction, but still.

When you entered your mother’s dream, it was only the second time that you visited a nightmare. The first time had been inside your sister’s dream and it just consisted of a monster chasing her. You had been able to alter the dream, letting both of you escape and enter her castle again.

Your mother’s nightmare was different and you kept to the shadows of her consciousness, in order not to be seen.

Your mother was having an argument with her husband about finances. It was scary in its closeness to reality. They were simply sitting in their kitchen, having a fight. Nothing supernatural happening, nothing extraordinary.

The argument was ridiculous of course. Both of them wanting to spend huge amounts of money on unnecessary things and not wanting to back off their position.

You leaned against the frame of the kitchen door, letting your head hang with a sigh. You wouldn’t learn anything here that you didn’t already know about your mother. At least not in this particular dream. And you didn’t dare to alter the dream scenarios of other adults.

To be honest, you hadn’t even tried. You knew that it worked behind your own door and your sister’s, but she was seven. You had no idea how strong the subconscious of other people was.

Your musings were interrupted by the front door opening. Curious to see whom your mother’s mind would conjure now, you turned on your heel to throw a look over your shoulder.

Sometimes the new additions to dreams couldn’t see you, especially when the dreaming person hadn’t even realised that they dreamt of you yet.

But the person who stood on the front steps to your mother’s house wasn’t just anyone:

It was the guy from Mike’s dream. And from your sister’s.

The guy with the hair and the coat and the eyes and…

Oh, and he could definitely see you. What other reason did he have to stare right at you?

You could feel your hands getting clammy. Swallowing hard, you kept your eyes on his figure while slowly making your way to the bathroom door.

The door which was conveniently also your mother’s dream door.

Whoever your mother had dreamt up, he wouldn’t be able to leave the dream…

Right?

You and the stranger were the only two people you had seen in the corridor since you got there, after all.

You quickly slipped through the door while the new addition to your mother’s dream hadn’t moved. Standing in the empty corridor you took a deep breath.

Maybe you could find something in the dream of your mother’s husband? Turning around to search for the familiar door (which was always suspiciously far away from your mother’s) your eyes landed on the guy in the coat at the end of the corridor.

“Fuck!”, you cursed loudly and broke out into a run.

To your door.

Through your door and locking it.

Back into your own dream where you were safe.

You reached the pale-yellow door. Chancing a glance over your shoulder, you saw that he was still standing at the end of corridor, not having moved to follow you.

As quickly as you could with shaking hands you unlocked your door and slipped through.

With a deep sigh, you locked it again and put your back against it.

Who were this guy and the stranger? Had both of them made a deal with the demon as well?

It was a possibility. The offer the demon made didn’t seem to be that exclusive, probably anyone could get in.

The stranger must have been here long before you. Was the other guy new? Had he seen you wandering the corridors and followed you?

But you had never seen him use one of the doors to enter the dreams you had entered. Where there several ways to enter a dream?

“Who are you?”, a deep voice suddenly asked and you jumped in surprise.

The room had shifted back to your childhood’s bedroom, and the goth guy stood by your window, glaring at you.

“How -?”, you turned around to stare at your yellow door incredulously. “How the fuck did you get here?”, you asked with wide eyes.

“You did not answer my question”, he stated and took a step closer. “Who are you and how did you find your door?”

Okay, okay. Easy, play it cool. This was your dream. What could happen to you here?

You gave a nonchalant shrug. “The same way you did, I imagine.”

He looked at you with an expression that was so puzzled that you had to laugh. “What, I’ve only started to see you around here recently”, you told him. “I was here first.”

“I highly doubt that”, he replied dryly.

You gave an indignant snort. “Yeah, right.” You shifted your dream from your room to an overgrown forest, which would hopefully give you a chance to slip away. “Now, if you wouldn’t mind to leave my dream”, you tried to make you way to the nearest line of trees.

As soon as you disappeared behind one, he was in front of you again. “Oh, I do mind a great deal”, he said and stared down at as if he was about to scold you. He was at least a foot taller than you, if not more. You were pretty small and he seemed to be above average in height.

“One such as you should not meddle in the dreams of others”, he stated coldly.

Your mouth dropped open indignantly. “One such as me? Meddling?”, you repeated. “Look who’s talking, this is my dream, jackass. Get out!”

Shouldering your way past him roughly, you made a run for the forest. Unfortunately, in the next moment the forest was gone and you stood in the middle of a wide meadow.

“Wha –“, you stared around in shock.

“You cannot hide from me”, his voice came again from right behind you.

Whirling around, you stared at him with wide eyes. Clearly, you hadn’t been in that corridor longer than he had. He knew exactly how to ‘meddle’ in the dreams of others.

“How can you do this?”, you asked. “Who are you?”

“I am Dream of the Endless and the King of this realm”, he declared. “And you”, he looked you up and down with a scowl on his face, “were supposed to stay on this side of your door like every other human.”

“You are the king of my dream world?”, you inquired with a shocked expression. Did you dream up a creature to take your own power away?

In your own dream?

He gave an annoyed sound and you could actually see his urge not to role his eyes at you. How rude.

“I am the king of all dreams and nightmares and not just yours”, he explained, squaring his jaw in annoyance. “Enough of this, you will tell me how you found your door and I will make it so that it never happened.”

“Yeah, uh…”, you scratched the back of your neck as you thought about it. “No.”

“No?”, he blinked at you as if he was actually surprised.

“Yeah, sorry”, you shrugged again. “I mean, it was a deal and I paid for it fair and square” – sort of – “so, I’m not leaving.”

“Paid for it?”, he repeated, patience clearly running thin. “What sort of deal? With whom?”

You bit your lip as you stared up at him. He didn’t seem dangerous per se (more like the kind of guy you would have fallen in love with in your rebellious teenage years, to be completely honest), but the angrier he got, the more you could imagine that there was another side to him.

A darker one.

“I don’t wanna have this conversation anymore”, you declared and tried to make your way past him.

A large and incredibly cold hand closed around your elbow. His grip was like steel, you immediately knew that you couldn’t break it.

He yanked you closer to him, invading your personal space as his eyes flashed at you angrily. “Listen, human –“

But your world had already fallen away from you and you sat up in your bed with a start.

Taking in the surroundings in your bedroom of the flat you shared with Mike, you exhaled a sigh of relief and moved a shaking hand through your hair.

Well, that’s not good, you thought to yourself as you got up. It was still the middle of the night, but you didn’t dare to go back into bed. You planned to put off dreaming for as long as possible.

_____________________________________

Naturally, there were only so many hours you could put off sleep.

As soon as you found yourself within your dream world, he was there of course.

“Oh please, no”, you whined, throwing your head back.

Your mind or he himself had brought you back to the meadow. Right back to where you had left off.

“Give me what I want, and you can go back to dreaming the same way other mortals do”, he said as he got closer. “Do not make me take that information from you.”

Glancing around, you couldn’t help but grimace in annoyance.

Your door was nowhere to be seen.

Looking back at him, you couldn’t help but notice how pale his skin looked in the bright sunshine. He seemed almost white.

“How would you even make it so that it never happened?”, you tried to stall while searching for your door.

It had to be somewhere around here, right?

“That is none of your concern”, he replied in annoyance. “This realm is mine and I have control over everything within it.”

“Well…”, you pulled a face as you shrugged. Was that a golden doorknob gleaming amongst the daisies in the sunlight? “You obviously control my dream.” You looked around the meadow.

He followed your gaze’s direction. Seeing that as your chance you lunged forward and found your door in the ground. You wished the lock away, simply yanked it open, and – due to the shift in gravity or however that worked in dreams – practically fell into the hallway.

“Ouch!”, you called as you own elbow connected with your ribs painfully.

Through your open door, you could see the disbelieving gaze of the would-be Dream King. He almost seemed shocked that you would really be stupid enough and try to run from him again.

Fighting the childish urge to stuck your tongue out at him, you kicked the door shut and yanked the next best door open.

Would dream-hopping be a way to get rid of him?

Surely, he couldn’t be all powerful.

You didn’t look at the door through which you entered. You didn’t even read the name tag. That was your mistake.

As soon as you set foot over the threshold you found yourself knee-deep in some sort of lake.

“Oh, great”, you hissed as the cold and wetness seeped through your shoes and socks. The sensations felt all too real. Adding to that, your ribs were still hurting, which made you kind of worried.

Could injuries from dreaming stay into the real world? Would your ribs be bruised when you woke up?  

Huffing in annoyance, you waded to the shore and climbed out of the lake.

The whole scenery seemed sort of familiar, but you couldn’t pinpoint why. Squinting against the sunlight, you looked around for a place to hide. Surely the king-guy wouldn’t alter some innocent bystanders dream you had hitchhiked just to get to you.

Right?

Would that be considered amoral in dream standards?

Making your way around the lake, you came to a sudden halt when you saw the landing bridge in the distance, and squinting against the sun, you could make out a figure with a fishing rot.

Your knees started to feel weak.

Slowly you got closer, until the sun was no longer shining right into your eyes and you could make out the figure.

“Dad…?”, you whispered.

Of course! Your dad used to fish at this lake all the time when you were younger. He loved the nature and act of fishing itself. The quiet.

Which would explain why he was here all alone. He had always preferred the nature over the noise of the rest of the world.

You were in your dad’s dream.

He actually sleeps almost 16 hours per day, you remembered Gloria’s words.

He was still there. Within that empty shell that was your father’s body, broken and non-functioning, whatever had made him him was still there. His character, his soul, he was still the same.

Still the quiet but strong man who loved fishing and nature. Still the man who preferred to be alone above your mother yapping and complaining.

He was still there.

And all this time he had just been one door away. One door down the hall.

Your lower lip began to wobble.

And then you could feel it. The presence of your persecutor right behind you. You did not need to turn around to see him. To know that he was right there.

“Just a moment, please…”, you whispered, voice heavy with tears.

Should you speak to your father? Ask him whether, when awake, he knew that you were there, in his room in the nursing home? Whether he was in pain? Whether he suffered?

Here, in his dream, he was all alone. Should you keep it that way? Was this his paradise? To be by himself?

A delighted squeak could be heard and both you and the man behind you, as you could see from the corner of your eye, turned your heads to the source.

Running down the pier, a little girl with pig tails twirled and skipped, singing a song to herself.

“Daddy!”, she called. “Daddy, daddy!”

Your father turned his head, smiling in the girl’s direction.

“Look how I can dance, daddy!”

“I see you, honey”, he called and laughed.

That’s me, you realised as the girl jumped into your father’s arms.

As you jumped into your father’s arms.

He dreamt of everything he loved, of his ideal place in the world, of his perfect day, and you were there.

He had never left. He had never stopped loving you.

A sob left you and your knees crumbled. Falling into the grass, you rolled onto your side and hugged your knees to your chest, letting all your grief and anger against the universe and your father’s lot in life out.

This whole situation was so fucked up in so many ways, you might as well have a full-blown mental break down.

_______________________________________

Morpheus had no idea what was going on.

Chasing this human girl had been annoying, her unwillingness to follow his orders irritating, but this was something else entirely.

He did not know whose dream this was, but he could appreciate the wholesome picture it created.

Humans might call it heart-warming.

So, he did not understand what had reduced you to this crying mess at his feet.

He was not blind of course. The longer he stared the more he saw a resemblance between that little girl and the young woman in front of him. So, the man was obviously your father and this had to be his dream.

Which did not mean that he understood your sobs of “He’s still here” and “I’m here”, because…

Yes, obviously.

As much as he did not know how to deal with this situation, your tears were starting to tug at his heart, if one might call it that. Tearing his eyes away from the wholesome father-daughter scene and looking back at you, he couldn’t help but note that his sister seemed much better suited for this particular task.

He was not meant to console and comfort.

However, you were starting to draw attention. The man had raised his gaze and looked right at the King of Dreams and the form of his grown-up daughter, partially covered by the tall grass.

“You do not see us”, Morpheus commanded quietly and, with a flick of his hand, made it so.

The man turned back to his daughter, as if he had never seen the intruders.

Sighing deeply, Morpheus looked back at you.

Your sobs had quieted down to silent tears, but you were obviously in no condition to answer his questions.

A kind word and a friendly face, that was what his sister had said.

Taking in a deep breath through his nose, he bent down at his knees to crouch beside you.

Your shoulders were still shaking, the side of your face covered by hair.

Reaching out and brushing your hair from your forehead, he felt you flinch away.

Perhaps this was not the right time for a kind word or a friendly face after all.

Bending down further, he wound his arms around you until he could lift you safely. Despite your whimpering sounds, there was nowhere you could go.

Human strength was nothing against one of the Endless and you were still in his realm.

Adjusting his grip on you, one hand beneath your knees and the other arm bracing your back, he made for the door that he technically didn’t have to use.

Sniffing through your tears, you let your head roll against his shoulder.

Morpheus felt his heart or whatever it was pound heavily in his chest. It had been centuries since he had – voluntarily – been even remotely this intimately touching another human.

Not that the touch was particularly intimate, but still.

The door opened of its own accord and Morpheus brought you quietly back to your own world of dreams. The world shifted into the room he had seen before, the one of a child, without his doing.

This must be your home.

He put you down on the slightly too small bed and drew the blanket over you.

He should leave. He had already decided that he could not get anymore answers. Scowling at his indecisiveness, he stared at the yellow door, as if it was the root to all his problems.

He looked back down at your face again. Back at the door. Back at your face.

Shaking his head, he went to the door. As he opened it, he heard rustling from the bed.

“Thank you”, you whispered and when he turned, he saw you looking straight at him.

Giving you a slight nod, he left through the door and closed it quietly.

After a moment of contemplation, he added the lock again and made sure that it was locked.

There was another escaped dreamer walking these corridors, after all.

___________________________

“Did you find them, my lord?”, Lucienne asked when she found Morpheus staring out his windows again.

“One of them”, he admitted. “The other has not stepped through his door in some time.”

“Did you find answers, sir?”, she pressed further.

His mouth twitched as his gaze lowered to his hands. “Not yet”, he flexed his fingers impatiently. “I will let her disobey me for tonight.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 4

Salutatio

Morpheus stared at the books in the shelf in front of him.

What had he been looking for?

He had spent millennia in contact with humans, in this universe and others. He had seen the colourful forms their lives and their dreams could take and – in most recent years – the dark abyss they could hide within their souls.

Long ago, before this universe and most of his creations had even existed, he had stopped to think of humans as children. It was a tempting concept of course: he and his siblings were endless, their years beyond anything that could be counted or even comprehended by mortal minds. In relation to that, humans surely had to seem like children with a mere century of a lifespan.

And yet, there were aspects of human lives that even he, with infinite amounts of years and wisdom could not understand. Experiences that he could not comprehend.

He did not know what an aging body felt like. He did not know what it felt like to be vulnerable in the arms of a lover. He didn’t fear death nor sickness.

The concept that life might be even sweeter because it did not last, held no meaning to him.

No, humans weren’t children in relation to him and his siblings. They were merely different.

A different species of related beings, perhaps.

For all the things he did not – could not – understand, he understood grief.

He just did not understand why.

As long as your father dreamt, he could not be dead. And he had dreamt of you, so it could not be unrequited love or a negligent parent that was paining you.

Should it disturb him, this curiosity to not only understand how you had found your door, but also to know what had made you crumble? You, who had been so adamant to fight against an eternal being whose power you had not even an inkling of, reduced to so little by a beautiful dream.

“My lord”, Lucienne announced herself. “Can I perhaps help you in your search? It is a book you are looking for, yes?”

Morpheus took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment to sort through his thoughts. “I had intended to search for others who might have found a way out of their dreams out of their own accord over the millennia, but”, he hesitated, wetting his lips. “I have changed my mind.”

“Ah”, Lucienne made carefully. “Have you thought of another strategy, then? To determine how the mortals left their dreams?”

“Send Matthew to me”, Morpheus replied. “I shall want to keep an eye on her in the waking world.”

_____________________________________

“You look like shit”, Mike expressed kindly as he sat next to you at the kitchen table.

“Yeah, I know”, you murmured, rubbing your hands over your eyes. “Ever since I had that dream about my dad, I haven’t been able to sleep well.”

It wasn’t a lie. Technically.

You had not left your own dreams since that night and the King of Dreams had not invaded yours. You spent most of your sleeping hours in your childhood bedroom, staring at the ceiling, waiting for the night to be over.

But the anxiety was churning your stomach into knots. The fear that he might turn up out of the blue at any moment and take this new world, this new realm of opportunities from you. Your father was just a door down. As was your sister.

That was not something you were willing to give up on so easily.

Subsequently, your sleep was restless, made worse by every night he did not show.

You were flunking classes this semester. You had spent too much of the first half sleeping, living vicariously through your dreams, and now you slept too little. You couldn’t concentrate on much at all these days, mind lost in a head of wild black hair and icy blue eyes.

Surprisingly, the only calm you felt was when you visited your dad.

Staring at his sleeping form, you couldn’t help but smile.

“What has you in such a good mood?”, Gloria asked as she checked his blood pressure.

Your smile broadened. “I’m just hoping that he has a good dream.”

“Oh…”, Gloria bit her lips, her gaze sad. “I don’t know, honey. Maybe he doesn’t dream of nothing at all.”

You leaned back in your chair, not deterred. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that.”

A croak from the window and your gaze was drawn towards the black bird.

“There’s a crow outside”, you observed absent-mindedly. There was a strange tingling sensation at the back of your neck, as if you were being watched.

“I think that is a raven”, Gloria replied matter-of-factly and continued her work.

“Hm”, you kept staring at the raven and could have sworn that it was looking right back at you.

________________________________________

You couldn’t take this anymore. If you spend one more night in that state of anxiety, you would surely implode.

If he wouldn’t come to you, you would have to find him. No matter what the outcome was, you needed the peace of mind.

Surprised to find your yellow door locked, you unlocked it and stepped out into the corridor. If he was really the king of this place, there must be more than just the hallway, right? Somewhere where he lived? A throne-room? Heck, a wardrobe where he kept his floor-length coats?

You started to walk, certain that this hallway couldn’t be infinite.

After what felt like a lifetime, however, you were surrounded by unfamiliar doors and unfamiliar names and weren’t too sure anymore.

With an exasperated huff, you came to a halt. You had taken left turn after left turn, so logically you should be walking in a circle. Which you weren’t.

Were the corridor and its turns changing the same way the doors kept changing positions?

“Looking for someone in particular?”, his voice came from you right.

Looking his way, you could see that the hallway behind him had transformed itself into a dead end.

“Not really”, you replied as calmly as possible, admiring for a moment how his hair seemed to stick up in every possible direction. “I think I’m lost.”

“That would infer that you had a goal in mind”, he concluded as he slowly came closer.

Blushing, you turned your face away. You weren’t quite brave enough to admit that you had been searching for him. “Right now, I’d be happy enough to know how to get back.”

He came to halt in front of you, standing a tad too close for comfort. You could feel his intense stare on your face, waiting. When you turned your head so your eyes could meet his, he demonstratively averted his eyes to the opposite wall.

Following his gaze, you found your yellow door, as if it had been with you all this time.

Which you knew for a fact it hadn’t.

“Huh”, you made, pressing your lips together in a sullen expression. “I think it’s mocking me.”

He ducked his head and you could have sworn that you saw his mouth twitch.

Taking a deep breath, you stared him square in the eyes. “Do you have a door around here?”

His face became unreadable as he looked back at you. Did he have to stand this close? Was personal space not a concept to him?

“No”, he answered finally.

Your brows furrowed. “Don’t you dream? Or sleep?”

A long exhale left through his nose as he contemplatively directed his gaze to something above your head.

“No”, he replied. “Not the way humans do. I rest.”

Not really something you could understand, but it was better than nothing. Still surprised that he was answering your questions at all, you pressed on: “Do you have a name?”

Gaze back on yours, his mouth twitched again, making his defined jaw even more prominent. “Your kind has called me Morpheus.”

You nodded carefully, rummaging through your middle school Latin knowledge in your head. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense”, you murmured to yourself.

Tilting his head, he looked at your face as if he was searching for something. “I thought I had come here to ask you questions”, he admitted then.

You shrugged, giving him a sheepish smile. “I haven’t stopped you.”

“Yet”, he added, leaning forward to open your dream-door and gesturing for you to step inside.

There was probably not much use in trying to defy him, seeing how well that had worked the last time. No emotional crisis for you today, thank you.

Your dream was situated in one of the college’s lecture halls, of all things.

Morpheus looked around for a moment, almost seeming curious about the setting as he made his way to the front with the professor’s desk, before concentrating back on you.

You couldn’t help but shrug again, feeling small under his scrutinizing gaze. “You had questions?” You bit your lower lip, following him and preparing yourself for the onslaught of questions on how you had found your dream door and were able to step into the corridor.

“Why did your father’s dream make you sad?”, he asked without preamble.

You froze, mouth hanging slightly open without a sound coming out. Well, if this was not a conversational curveball.

“Um… because I thought he was gone”, you replied honestly, not quite knowing how to put your crushing sadness and relief into words.

His brows furrowed. “You thought he was dead?”

“No”, you shook your head quickly. “I know he’s not, it’s just…”, you bit your lower lip harder, willing the tears that had gathered in your eyes not to spill. “He had an accident some months ago and he can’t … can’t do much of anything anymore. I mean, he’s breathing and his heart is beating, but everything else is just gone. And I was wondering whether, due to brain damage or whatever, he had already left his body. His character or whatever had made him himself. Like when people’s bodies are still alive but they are brain-dead. Do you even know what brain-dead means? Anyway, I thought that maybe his soul had already left. Moved on or whatever happens when we die.” Levelling him with an intense stare, you said: “You probably know that better than me.”

Morpheus trailed his fingers over the professor’s desk absent-mindedly. “But his soul is here, you found him. Why are you still sad?”

Taking a shaky breath, you cursed yourself for showing your pain so openly. “Because it’s not… not the way it should be. The way it has been. I can’t just go to him and fish or talk or do other stuff like we used to do. It’s not real, it’s just a dream.”

His gaze flashed up to yours, and for a moment his eyes seemed like endless dark depths, filled with starlight, but as soon as you blinked, they were blue again. “Why should a dream not be real? My realm is just as real as the waking world.”

You opened your mouth, ready to argue, when he moved without really moving, standing behind you suddenly and grabbing your wrist, pressing your palm against the black board. “Does it not feel real? Does it not feel the same as in the waking world?”, he whispered in your ear.

In terms of the black board, the answer was yes. It did feel just the same, smooth and dusty from chalk. It even smelled the same.

You were, however, much more distracted by the feel of his cool fingers around your wrists. They were not as bitingly cold as the first time he had grabbed your arm in your dream, but felt nicely cool against your clammy skin. Calming.

You were assaulted by the memories you had pushed so far away into the back of your mind as not to face them. The press of those same calmingly cool fingers through your clothes against your over-heated skin. Against the back of your knees and that space between your shoulder blades.

The steady rise of breath in his chest beneath your tearstained cheek. The quiet up and down of his movements as he carried you back into your own dream.

“Yes”, you whispered quietly. “It feels just the same as when I’m awake.”

Would he feel the same awake? Would he even be able leave your dreams?

“So, you see”, he continued, his breath hitting your temple, your face tingling at the close proximity. “He is still right here, with you. Awake and in dreams.”

You nodded carefully. “Yes, I guess he is”, you lifted your face to look at him, staring at the underside of his jaw that seemed shadowed by the beginnings of a beard, even though he was clean shaven. “Is he in pain?”

Finally, Morpheus removed his hand from yours, flexing his fingers as he let go. “Determining that is beyond my domain”, he replied coldly.

Lowering your gaze in disappointment, you let the issue go.      

“Now”, Morpheus started after a tense moment of silence. “You will tell me how you have managed to cause such a disruption in my realm.”

“Your realm?”, you tried to challenge.

He lifted an unimpressed eyebrow. “You are trying to deflect my question. Again?”, he actually had the audacity to sound condescending after just turning your world upside down with his version of comfort and a wrist-touch. “Or would you have me believe that you are so simple minded that you do not yet comprehend that I am the King of Dreams?”

Grinding your teeth sullenly, you shot him a bitter look. “You know what, maybe I really do not ‘comprehend’ it.” You drew quotation marks into the air between the both of you. His eyes followed the unfamiliar motion of your hands sharply. “How do I know that I am not dreaming all of this up? The door, the corridor, the dreams of the others and you as well? Maybe I just have a super wild imagination and never knew it… and am really good at lucid dreaming too.”

His jaw twitched angrily as his eyes turned into that darkness again, pupils shining like stars in the distance. “You dare to question my sovereignty in my own kingdom? While standing in my palace, amongst my subjects?”

A palace, huh? You would like to see that.

“Prove it”, you dared him.

A low, dry chuckle rumbled out of his chest, sounding so dark that the hairs on your arms immediately stood on end. “You dare to challenge me?”, he hissed as he backed you against the blackboard with his body. “I do not have to prove myself to you or any other mortal in this realm of mine or elsewhere. Now, I have let you and your antics fare for long enough, human. If you are not willing to give me the answers I want, I will take them from your dreams.”

Your breath came in short puffs as you stared from the place where his chest was almost touching yours up to his dark eyes. “I…”, your panicked gaze flicked from his eyes around the room, until they landed on your yellow door in the back of the lecture hall. “What is that?”, you asked suddenly.

Grabbing your chin, he directed your gaze back at him. “No more distractions, my patience has ended.”

“N-no”, you tried to nod over his shoulder as well as you could with his fingers on your jaw. “Something’s wrong with my door, seriously. I swear.”

His brows furrowed as he looked over his shoulder, not letting go of you. There was a deep, dark crack in the middle of your door, marring the yellow wood.

The line between his brows deepened. He let go of your face and gabbed your arm in return. Another blink and both of you stood in front of your door.

You blinked in surprise, throwing a look back at the place you had just been standing a second ago, at the other end of the room.

Freaky.

Morpheus free hand graced the crack in the wood. “What is this?”, he whispered, as if he was talking to himself.

Upon his touch, another crack appeared.

Your eyes widened as the black board behind you fell away into darkness. “Uh…”, you made unintelligibly. “Morph- uh, I mean King of… your Grace, whatever”, you stuttered as you tucked on his coat sleeve. “I think my dream is ending.”

The floor of the lecture hall was crumbling into nothingness, leaving pitch black darkness behind. The first lines of chairs started disappearing. Morpheus followed your gaze, growling something you didn’t understand, yanked your cracked door open and shoved you through.

You landed on your side in the hallway. It was quiet and your door was closed.

You were alone.

“Hello?”, you called. “Morpheus?”

Was he still inside your dream? Turning the golden doorknob proved to be useless, the door wouldn’t open. Unlocking it didn’t work either. You even tried to peek through the mail slit, but saw nothing.

“Hello?”, you yelled again. Had he not mentioned other subjects? Surely, someone had to be around here who could help you.

Or him.

Steps from the end of the hall drew your attention away.

But as soon as you saw the dark figure, your heart seemed to drop to the floor, somewhere between your feet.

You immediately recognized the disfigured body of the stranger.

“Fuck, no”, you whispered, whirled around and tried to make a run for it.

This time, he was faster than you. Before you could escape into some random dream, he had taken hold of your hoody and dragged you back.

You screamed and kicked as he turned you around and grabbed your upper arms.

“You”, he hissed in his gravelly sandpaper voice. His foul breath hit your nose and this time you could see his face. His cheeks were sunken in, his eyes nothing but dark pits. His teeth had rotten away to black stumps and his beard was choppy, interlaced with grey stubble.

“Let me go! Fuck off!”, you cursed while trying to kick at his legs.

“This is your fault”, he growled. His hands came up, his fingernails yellow and long. He enveloped your head in his huge hands. His grip on the side of your head was hard and you were worried for a minute that he would be able to crush your skull with his big paws.

“No!”, you yelled as his thumbnail scratched over your cheek bone, drawing blood. “Morpheus! Morpheus, help me!”

The stranger kept grunting out dark sounds and curses at you, while your hands scratched at his arms, trying to get his hands off of you. He held fast until his eyes caught something behind you and his face fell in panic. His hands let go of you as if you had burned him and he gave you a hard shove.

You stumbled backwards, arms flailing in the air, until your back connected with a hard chest. A strong arm wound itself around your waist, steadying you with a calmingly cool hand on your midriff.

“Get away!”, the stranger called, stumbling back. “Get back, Sandman! You have no power over me!” Opening a dark brown door that was covered in similar dark cracks as yours, he disappeared.

Your teeth clacked together from your trembling. “Okay…”, you whispered. “I’ll tell you anything, if you can get me out of here.”

_____________________________________

“Anything else?”, Lucienne asked.

“For the hundredth time, no”, Matthew answered, stretching his wings. “Nothing out of the ordinary. She goes to school, visits her dad or goes to work in the book shop – depending on the day – and goes home. Every day.”

“Hm”, Lucienne made with a thoughtful expression on her face. “There must be something that makes her special. Something –“

“Lucienne”, Morpheus commanded the librarian’s attention towards himself.

Lucienne whirled around, spying her master between the book shelves. “My Lord, I…”, she hesitated when she saw the human girl by his side, small in height and with big bright eyes.

“I have brought you one of our stray dreamers”, their king declared.

“Hello”, you gave a small, awkward wave. “Is that a walking pumpkin back there?”

Ignoring your question, Morpheus turned back to Lucienne. “I will entrust her to your protection, while I search for the other one.”

Lucienne bowed her head demurely. “Of course, my Lord.”

Morpheus nodded to himself as he turned away, avoiding your stare. He could feel your eyes on him, but refused to return the gaze.

“The pumpkin’s name is Mervyn Pumpkinhead , just fyi”, he could hear Matthew say. “He’s out janitor.”

“You’re a raven”, you stated incredulously. “You are a talking bird.”

“Keen observation”, Matthew clapped back. “We’ve met already, but I wasn’t allowed to introduce myself. I’m Matthew.”

“We’ve met…?”, you repeated.

“Ah, yes”, Lucienne chimed in. “Lord Morpheus tasked Matthew with the observation of your case in the waking world until we found out how you managed to leave your dream in this realm.”

“You are the bird that has been following me the last few weeks!”, you voice held an accusing edge. “Wait, what? He sent a bird to stalk me?!”

Not terribly interested in the rest of the conversation, Morpheus vanished back into the corridor.

He could have followed the man you had coined ‘the Stranger’ directly, but he had been too distracted by your trembling body in his arms.

He was used to inspiring fear in mortals, naturally, as the king of nightmares. Still, your fear had been so tangible, so real that he could taste it in the air and feel it crawl over your skin. The blood on your cheek had unsettled him more than it should have.

He had not felt this way since…

Never mind. Throughout his ‘lifespan’ he had had varying relationships to the human race, some closer, others more estranged. This confusion he felt had to stem from the fact that he had himself undergone such rapid changes in his reign and himself recently, after his capture and its aftermath.

The faster he got to the source of this disturbance in his realm and managed to rid himself of you, the better.

Still, his skin still tingled from the touch of his fingers on your wrist. From the way your eyes had followed him and held his. How he had felt your heartbeat against his chest. How you had called out his name.

Morpheus shook his head angrily. He had gone for thousandth of years without human intimacy. It was the unfamiliarity of it, nothing more.

Besides, he knew to what ends such musings would lead all too well.

Time to get to work.

_________________________________

Your head leaned against your palm lazily as you stared emptily at the book in front of you, only looking at the pictures.  

This dream felt like it had gone on for an eternity already, but Lucienne had assured you that the passing of time could feel differently between worlds.

You had also gotten out of her that the Endless were apparently a family of seven siblings that were the anthropomorphic representations of the powerful natural forces they embodied.

But when you had attempted to pry just a little, she had seized up and been tight-lipped on everything else since, until she finally disappeared between the bookshelves, declaring that she had a job to do. Still, not without ensuring you that you were of course welcome to read in every book you wanted to.

She was nice, if a little stuck up, you decided. You liked her.

Besides, Matthew and Mervyn kept you company. Between the royally British accents and postures of Lucienne and Morpheus, you felt much more at home with the bird and the pumpkin anyway.

It also turned out that Matthew could absolutely kill at a Christopher Walken expression, which had you in stitches and Mervyn really confused.

Even better, they also didn’t seem too keen on keeping their king’s secrets.

“Wait, wait, wait”, you interrupted Matthew’s story as you tore your gaze from the picture in the book. “The both of you went to hell, where he got into a verbal competition of altering reality that he almost lost to the devil himself. For a helmet?”

“I don’t know whether he almost lost”, Matthew admitted. “Maybe he was just being dramatic.”

You couldn’t help the snort that left you. “Must have been really uncomfortable for you, as a newly reborn bird who couldn’t do anything about it.”

“Kinda”, it almost looked as if Matthew wanted to shrug with his wings. You had told him that he was cute, which Matthew had scoffed at, but Mervyn thought it was hilarious.

“The suspense was killing me, but uncomfortable is something else”, Matthew added.

“Like what, for example?”, you asked, not really thinking much of it.

“Like when, right before we met with Lucifer, Morpheus met his ex-girlfriend in hell. That was weird.”

“Come again?”, you asked, almost choking on your spit.

“Oh, yeah”, Matthew nodded. “I was shocked too. For someone who is so cold and humourless and self-obsessed, he seems to have quite some game. I mean, she’s still hoping for him after thousands of years in hell.”

“Huh”, you made, feeling a strange twinge in your side, somewhere beneath your left ribs. “A girlfriend?”

Mervyn laughed, blowing cigar smoke all over the place. “One girlfriend?”, he sputtered. “That’s not even close. Let’s see…”, he raised his wooden hands, as if he wanted to count. “We have Nada, Calliope, Titania, Alianora, Thessaly … just to name a few. Oh, there was also Killala!”, Mervyn took another drag of his cigar. “He always tries and it always fails.”

You couldn’t help the slight pout that played around your lips. “That’s kinda morbid, even for a pumpkin.”

Mervyn shrugged. It was the truth, what had he to do with it?

“Yeah, but Nada has to have it the worst, right?”, Matthew croaked in-between words involuntarily. “I mean, he’s banished her to hell for over ten-thousand years, just because she ‘defied’ him, apparently.”

“Defied him?”, you repeated. “What does that mean?”

“Dunno, he wouldn’t say”, Matthew explained.

“All I know is this”, Mervyn remarked. “After the end of his failed romances, he's gotta be the tragic figure standing out in the rain, mournin' the loss of his beloved. So down comes the rain, right on cue. In the mean-time everybody gets dreams fulla existential angst and wakes up feeling like hell. And we all get wet."

You sank further into your chair, wondering how many of your existential angst dreams might have been caused by Morpheus’ heartache.

“That’s really sad”, you decided quietly.

And kinda romantic.

Chapter Text

Chapter 5

Sapientia Amoris

 Disappointment crawled up his throat as he re-entered his throne room.

You had left hours ago, he knew, of course. He had felt you waking up.

Morpheus couldn’t help the annoyed sound that left him as he sat down on his throne. Hopefully, Lucienne wasn’t too near to ask him about his progress immediately.

The stranger’s dreams had been a twisted web of dark phantasies, childish musings and utter mayhem.

He knew the dream of a mad man when he entered one. There would be no coherent thought found in the dreams of that man, as his mind was not capable of forming any. Still, the images that plagued the mind of that man had seemed awfully familiar.

Hell.

They seemed like mirror images from hell.

Now, how would a mere mortal man know what hell looked like?

____________________________________________

“Hello?”, Mike waved his hand in front of your face dramatically. “Are you listening to me?”

You blinked dumbly at him, hand still using your spoon to stir your cereal, which had gotten soggy in the meantime. “What?”, you asked. “No, sorry, what were you saying?”

“That I have a date with the guy I told you about. The one from the club, do you remember?”

“Oh yeah”, you nodded sluggishly. Your night’s sleep might have been long, but not all restful. Too much on your mind.

“He’s your dream guy, right?”, you added.

Mike snorted derogatorily. “Get off it, I’m not dreaming of him. I carry the hots for him, that’s all.”

You couldn’t help the smile that played around your lips. “Yeah, sure you do.”

Mike blushed, but obviously didn’t want to keep having this conversation. After a long pause in which you contemplated whether you still wanted to eat the pulpy thing your breakfast had turned into, he started: “What’s with you lately?”

You turned your attention back to him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that you seem off. You’re letting school slide, you sleep like ten hours a day and still seem… I dunno, always tired. Like there is always something on your mind.”

You furrowed your brows. “You know there is. I can’t just turn my thoughts off.”

Mike shook his head. “It’s different from your usual ‘head-in-the-cloudiness’”, he explained.

“Hm”, you made contemplatively.

Mike knew you better than anyone in the world and was way more experienced than you… in certain aspects of life.

“I think I have a crush”, you confessed, heat immediately rushing to your face.

God, you hoped that Matthew wasn’t lurking in font of some window and listening to you right now.

Mike’s mouth dropped open, his eyes immediately sparkling with joy. “Shut up!”, he called in delight. “Really? Wait, wait, wait. A crush of the ‘I wanna lick his heart’-kind, or the ‘I wanna see him naked and ride him to death’-kind?”

“Fuck, Mike!”, you cursed and slapped his arm. “What is that even supposed to mean?”

Your roommate laughed. “Y’know, romantic love or sexy love.”

“I said crush, not love, you bonehead”, you clarified.

Heaven have mercy, you should have said nothing at all.

“So, which kind of crush is it?”, he kept probing.

You threw your head back in annoyance. “I dunno. I barely know the guy, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Oh, come on, virgin girl, let me live through you a little”, Mike practically bounced in his seat.

“Must you remind me?”, you asked.

You were usually very good at shoving that detail about yourself into the back of your mind, where it wouldn’t bother you daily.

The truth wasn’t even that dramatic. You weren’t waiting for marriage or your soulmate. You had just never found someone who hadn’t grossed you out when thinking about that.

Well, except for your high school sweet heart. He had been the first boy you had ever loved and been your boyfriend for eighteen months, until – at the proud age of seventeen – you had decided to give him your flower or whatever bullshit your teenage brain had wanted to call it.

Too bad that he had declined. Very respectfully, actually. He just hadn’t felt as strongly for you as you had felt for him and under those circumstances, it felt wrong to him to take this big step with you. And that had been that relationship and your very first heartbreak.  

Now, some disappointing make-out sessions and failed bonding-attempts later, you were suddenly twenty-one. The two guys you had told about your, uh – predicament since your were twenty had told you that there must be something seriously wrong with you. Apparently, nowadays everyone got laid in high school.

“It’s not your fault, baby”, Mike tore you from your thoughts. “Nothing wrong with it. I’m just saying, if you like this guy and feel attracted to him that way, at least give it a chance.”

You couldn’t help your desperate laugh. ‘Give it a chance’, right.

You’d probably have to submit a written request to Lucienne, who would pre-emptively approve it or not.

“Listen”, you started after your laughter had died down. “It’s just… I don’t think that there is a chance in hell this would happen. He’s just… really aloof and probably thinks of me as a child or a… uh, rodent or something.”

“A rodent?”, Mike repeated. “What the hell is wrong with you, you are gorgeous! Really cute too, being so small and all. And if those big eyes won’t make him melt, I don’t know what.”

You punched Mike in the shoulder playfully. “Stop it!”

“And where did you meet this aloof guy? I might have to check him out.”

Ah, shit.

“Uhm… at work”, you hurried to say. “He is a customer.”

Mike hated to read fiction. Even when he picked you up from work, he never entered the book shop. This seemed like a safe bet.

And true to his character, Mike pulled a face and gave a defeated huff. “So, he’s one of those guys, huh?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know”, he barked a laugh. “Dark, broody, mysterious. The kind of nerdy guys you are into.”

“That is…”, you blinked owlishly, “…surprisingly accurate.”

“What can I say, I know you better than anyone, baby”, Mike winked at you and stood up to put his dish in the sink. “I’m just saying, if he’s hot and likes you too, drag that man to bed. It will open up a whole new world for you. And – who knows? – maybe make your sleep more restful.”

You snorted a laugh as you stared at your now inedible breakfast. “Yeah, maybe it’ll give me sweet dreams too.”

______________________________________

You gave a jolt, felt like you were falling and then practically landed at Morpheus feet in the library.

“What the –“, you started breathlessly.

He stared down at you in surprise. He had not known that leading you out of the corridor and into the heart of his palace would allow you to return on your own.

And certainly not so soon. It had only been a handful of hours since you had left.

Awkwardly getting into a sitting position, you stared around the library. “How late is it?”

He couldn’t help but simply give you another puzzled expression. Then he shook his head and extended his hand to you, in order to help you up.

Your big eyes focused on his outstretched, white hand for a moment, before hesitantly taking it. His hand almost completely engulfed yours and your skin was pleasantly warm.

He let go of it as soon as you stood in front of him.

As he looked at you now, he once again contemplated his plan. Unfortunately, he didn’t have many options, and you were the only one of the stray dreamers that might be useful for him at the moment.

“I need you”, he told you then.

“You… uh – what?”, you gawked at him, colour rising in your cheeks.

Morpheus couldn’t help but get even further confused by your reaction. “I need you to find out what is causing these disruptions in my realm.”

“Oh”, your lips moved around the sound, which somehow drew Morpheus’ attention away from the matter at hand. “But how would I even help you with that? This is your kingdom, can’t you literally do anything?”

Shaking his head slightly, Morpheus tried to regain his focus. “Generally speaking, yes”, he confirmed. “But when I searched the stranger’s conscious yesterday, the dream collapsed, just like yours.”

“You mean the cracks on the door and the room disappearing and stuff?”, you asked.

“Yes, obviously”, he bit out. How else would a dream collapse? “I need to know whether the collapsing of the dream means that your minds” – he tapped your forehead with his fingers – “are pushing me out, or whether you yourselves are causing the disruption.”

You swatted his hand away angrily, not even noticing his indignant stare. “So, what, you want to hang around in other people’s dreams, to see whether they collapse too?”

“Precisely.”

You gnawed on your lower lip. “Yeah, sure, as long as that doesn’t hurt anyone.”

Morpheus tried to suppress his smile. “No, it will not hurt anyone. The dreamers will simply wake or continue to have a dreamless sleep.”

“Okay, fine”, you shrugged.

“Let us begin”, Morpheus declared as he grabbed your arm.

“Wait, wait!”, you said, trying to stop him by throwing your weight at the opposite direction.

What a silly attempt, as if you could best him in physical strength.

Or in any other way.

Morpheus stared at you with furrowed brows.

“I – I can’t”, you admitted, quickly lifting your free hand to placate him. “I mean, I would, but I am not supposed to be here. I think I fell asleep during class.”

“Of course”, he replied. That would explain why you had returned sooner than expected.

“So, how to I get out of here?”, you asked, looking around.

Letting go of you, Morpheus determined: “This dream is over.”

___________________________________

Jolting awake, you could immediately feel the judgemental gazes of some of your fellow students on you. Thankfully, your professor hadn’t noticed anything and kept droning on in front of the class of at least a hundred and fifty people.

You groaned as you rubbed your hands over your face.

Great, now you had a mission with the King of Dreams to find out if you were currently his biggest problem. And you hadn’t even told him yet that you had kinda-sorta made a deal with a hell demon to be able to trapse around his realm, uninvitedly.

You had the bad feeling that all of this was going to end terribly.

After classes, you had to work. Fortunately, your last class of the day was cancelled, so you had time to squeeze a visit to your dad in.

Sitting on the comfortably cushioned arm chair at the window, you couldn’t help it when your gaze was drawn away from your father’s bed and to the window.

Was Matthew somewhere out there? Watching you for Morpheus?

“He looks peaceful”, Morpheus’ deep voice said from your father’s bed.

You jolted so hard you almost fell out of your chair.

Standing at the foot of your father’s hospital bed was Lord Morpheus himself. He looked exactly the same as he did a couple of hours ago, except that his coat was different: It was shorter and had a different collar from his coat in the dream realm.

“What are you doing here?”, you asked, still only about eighteen percent sure that you didn’t just have a small stroke. “Is this real or am I dreaming?”

Before Morpheus could answer, you sunk back into the chair and pressed a hand over your heart. “You can’t just do that”, you said in an airy whisper. “I think I just had a heart attack.”

Were you still in a state of shock or did he actually look concerned?

“To answer your question”, he finally said. “You are awake.”

“What are you doing here?”, you repeated weakly.

His gazed travelled back to your father. “Curiosity”, he replied quietly. “You have not gone back to his dreams.” It wasn’t a question.

“No”, you murmured. “I don’t… I can’t do that yet. Does he…?” You swallow thickly. “Does he have a nice dream?”

Morpheus eyes settled on your face, taking you in for a moment. “A beautiful dream”, he said then.

You nodded absent-mindedly. “That’s good.”

“Come on”, he reached his hand out to you again, and once again you couldn’t help but stare for a moment.

“Where are we going?”, you wanted to know. “Back to the dreaming?”

Morpheus mouth gave that twitch again, as if he was fighting a smile. “No. Not as along as you are awake. I merely want to show you something I found.”

“Okay”, you nodded and put your hand in his, your skin immediately coming alive.

There was that twinge below your left ribs again when he dropped your hand as soon as you stood.

You could see the nurses staring as the both of you left your father’s room. To be fair, the King of Dreams was quite the imposing presence with his broody stares, dark clothes and white skin.

Before following him outside, you hesitated, but Morpheus stared at you until you followed him to the parking lot. “So, you obviously don’t burst into flames”, you stated as you squinted against the sunlight.

“Obviously”, Morpheus repeated, brows furrowing.

“He’s the Lord of Dreams, not a vampire”, Matthew said as he flapped around above your heads before cheekily landing on the top of your head and giving it a pick. “Idiot.”

“Fuck off!”, you said and swatted at him. “And get off.”

From the corner of your eyes, you could see Morpheus shake his head slightly. And had that been a smile on his lips?

“Moving forward”, he declared then and indicated Matthew with a head tilt to back off.

You followed the both of them across a street and into a dark alleyway.

“Where are you going?”, you asked once more while your eyes had to adjust to the gloomy light.

“Almost there”, Matthew whispered from your left.

“Here”, Morpheus stopped and took your arm, pulling you into his side.

Oh, okay, this was close. You could feel the soft fabric of his shirt and the coolness of his fingers on your arm. He smelled like… the sunrise over a dewy meadow.

You were seconds away from doing something incredibly stupid, like burying your face in his coat and inhaling deeply, until you heard the groan.

On a dirty blanket, halfway hidden behind trash cans and other filth, lied a beggar, groaning in his sleep.

“Is that…?”, you whispered.

“Yes”, Morpheus replied. “I have found your stranger.”

Strangely enough, your first question was: “What is he dreaming about?”

“Everything his twisted mind can conjure”, he answered. “He is mad.”

“Oh.” No matter how much he had scared you in that corridor, now you felt bad for him. Even though the scratch mark on your cheek was still itchy. “That is… sad, isn’t it?”

“It is”, Morpheus confirmed. “Especially since I have reason to believe that someone drove him mad with malicious intent.”

“Drove him mad?”, you repeated and looked up at his face. Just now you realised how close you actually were. “But who could do that?”

“Yes”, if he had bent down an inch, his lips could have touched your forehead. “I could determine the culprit, if you were to tell me how you found your door.”

“I…”, you lowered your gaze again. “I will, but… I have to get to work now. I can’t be late.”

“Of course”, Morpheus removed himself from you jerkily and wordlessly led the way back to the nursing home, as if he knew that you had intended to take the bus from there.

Maybe he had. Matthew had been watching you for weeks, after all.

“Lo-Lord Morpheus?”, you called quietly when you realized that he was refusing to look at you. “I will tell you, I promise”, your eyes flickered between his. “It’s just… kind of a long story.”

He nodded as his eyes met yours. “I believe you.”

You opened your mouth, wanting to say more, when suddenly –

“There you are!”, Mike called from the parking lot, standing next to his car. He waved before making his way over. “I got off early and wanted to give you a ride to work, but Gloria said that you had already left.” He smiled at you and eyed Morpheus curiously.

Oh dear.

“Thanks, Mike”, you hurried to say and shot Morpheus a look. “I gotta go.”

He nodded silently.

“Don’t be rude”, Mike bumped you with his elbow. “Introduce us.”

“I’m in a hurry, Mike”, you hissed back at him. “This is just…”, you cast another nervous look at the King of Dreams and his raven, “… a friend.”

“Ah, okay”, Mike smiled nonchalantly. “Well, friend, it was nice to meet you.” Mike gave a cheeky salute and turned back to his car.

You had a hard time to tear your eyes from Morpheus’ indecipherable stare, but didn’t want to risk that Mike could come back again and – God forbid – try to start an actual conversation.

“I’ll see you guys later”, you whispered and turned away.

“So, a friend, huh?”, Mike asked as you climbed into the passenger seat.

You aggressively buckled your seatbelt. “Just shut the fuck up.”

________________________________________

His irritation over your talent to evade his questions and his annoyance at your ability to distract him without even meaning to had been one thing.

But this.

Morpheus knew jealousy quite well. Jealousy of a sibling, a rival, a lover.

A friend.

You weren’t friends. You were hardly acquainted.

You were his inferior in every possible way. Nothing more than a mere mortal.

You were a thorn in his side.

An intruder that had wormed its way into the heart of his kingdom.

A mortal, out of reach due to the laws that all the Endless had to adhere to.

And yet…

Just a friend.

A mere friend.

He was much more than that. He was Lord Morpheus, Dream of the Endless, King of Dreams and Nightmares, the Dreaming itself.

Still.

Jealousy felt awfully similar to a twinge right underneath his left ribs.

_____________________________________

Falling asleep that night had been a relief.

As you left your dream through your door, he was waiting for you in the corridor.

“Hello”, you greeted him quietly.

He merely nodded and, with a flick of his hand, you heard the lock on your door click. Then, he took a look over his shoulder at Mike’s door.

“I noticed that it never moves from yours”, Morpheus said.

“Yeah, I guess that the doors’ placement is determined by proximity, either in space or in…feelings”, you replied. “Mike and I live together.”

Morpheus gaze landed on your sharply. This was something that Matthew had apparently failed to mention.

“As roommates”, you added quickly. “He’s my best friend.”

“The best friend”, Morpheus repeated, putting a strange emphasis on the words.

“Uh, yeah?”, you had no idea what was going on. Was he offended that you had called him a friend? Had it been presumptuous for a mere human like yourself to do so towards a King of the Endless?

“I –“, you started.

“Let’s go then”, Morpheus interrupted you by opening Mike’s door, “to see whether it is you that is pushing me out of mortals’ dreams.”

“O-okay”, you mumbled and stepped over the threshold.

Landing right in a vivid sex dream.

Of course.

Mike, you dirty bastard.

Ruining your life in the waking and the dreaming.

“Oh God”, you whined, not knowing where to look as Mike palmed the crotch of his dream guy and kissed him passionately. Both were very naked.

“Interesting”, you heard Morpheus say beside you as his gaze landed on the couple.

Mike had climbed on top of his partner and they started grinding against each other.

“Could we…”, your face was burning with colour, “…leave or something? This seems like an invasion of privacy.”

“Hm”, Morpheus made, way too calmly for your comfort. “It does seem ill suited for our purpose.” With a flick of his hand the scenery changed back into the restaurant you had seen Mike dream of before.

Mike and his date were still wildly making out, but at least they were clothed, huddling together in their booth.

“Let’s take a seat”, you companion said and led you to one of the free tables.

“So…”, you licked your lips nervously, still trying to will the blood out of your cheeks, “…do we just wait around? See what happens?”

“For now”, Morpheus nodded, eyes travelling through the room, most likely waiting for darkness to spread or cracks to appear on the walls.

A tense silence ensued and you had no idea what to say.

Your eyes landed on Mike and his friend again. They had stopped making out and started eating. Meanwhile they were talking and laughing and, every once in a while, Mike would bump his forehead against the one of his date gently, making him blush.

“I think Mike is in love”, you said without thinking about it.

You could feel Morpheus gaze on your neck, but he didn’t say anything.

“I mean”, you elaborated, nervousness getting the better of you, “he dreams of this guy almost every night. They don’t always have sex. Sometimes they just talk for hours on end. Or cuddle. It’s been a long time since Mike had wanted someone outside of sex.”

You shot Morpheus a shy look. “The walls are quite thin at home.”

Music started playing from the string quartet again.

“You are happy for him”, Morpheus deadpanned after a while.

“Of course”, you nodded. “He is my best friend.”

“You do not envy him?”

You blushed, more gently this time, and averted your eyes to the table. “I mean, wouldn’t anyone who doesn’t have love themselves?”

“Yes”, Morpheus whispered back. “Probably.”

You shrugged. “I love Mike in a way. My sister. My dad. That is something too. Not all love has to be romantic. Love can be anything.”

“Perhaps”, Morpheus gaze settled back on your face. “But it causes you such grief.” Again, not a question.

Your teeth sank into your lower lips, eyes meeting his. “Isn’t it still worth it?”

The King of Dreams didn’t reply anything to that, but his eyes seemed to travel to something far away, another realm within himself, that lied beyond your imagination.

“Why is Nada in Hell?”, you heard yourself blurt out and felt the sharp slice of instead regret.

His eyes landed back on you, pitch-black with starry pupils, and the room darkened visibly.

The music stopped.

“What?”, he bit out.

“I –“, you swallowed. “I’m sorry, it’s none of my business. Matthew and Mervyn told me stuff and I… it’s none of my business.”

If only, at least in dreams, earth could open up and swallow you whole.

“Nada”, Morpheus grit out through clenched teeth, “is in Hell because she defied me.”

“Yes, I heard that”, you whispered and dared to look up into his black eyes from beneath your lashes. “But how exactly did she ‘defy’ you?”

His hand, which had rested on top of the table, curled into a fist. “You do not even know who she was”, was all he said in an accusing manner.

You nodded, averting your gaze quickly. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

The tension in the room was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. All other conversations had gone silent and the figures around you seemed to be frozen in time.

“It was forbidden, what Nada and I did”, Morpheus started explaining quietly, suddenly. “It is forbidden, for an Endless to love a mortal. But still we…”, he hesitated, but knew that he didn’t have to say it. You would understand. “In the morning, our recklessness was punished and her people were destroyed. Nada killed herself.”

“Oh…”, you whispered.

“I followed her to the netherworld, where I offered her a place by my side as my Queen. And she refused.”

You swallowed painfully, trying to ignore the painful stabbing underneath your left ribs. “She rejected you?”, you couldn’t help but sound incredulous. As if it was an unheard-of thought. Impossible.

“So, you see”, his face was a grimace of pain and anger. “She defied me and I had to punish her.”

You cleared your throat awkwardly, not brave enough to tell him that technically speaking, refusing an offer wasn’t defiance. At least not in your book.

Were you lucky that he hadn’t send you to hell yet, for defying him in the past?

Probably not. You were not his lover, after all.

“Did you love her?”, you asked instead.

The stars in his eyes sparkled. “Yes.”

Your heart felt heavy. “Then her rejection must have hurt you very much.”

Morpheus nodded silently, gaze fixed on something above your head.

“I hope that…”, you licked your lips nervously, “… that you might forgive her one day. And let yourself love again.”

The fist on the tabled loosened, palm pressing against the surface gently. “I do not believe that is desirable to me anymore.”

You couldn’t help the small pout that tugged at your lips. “That is so sad, I don’t even want to consider it.”

His mouth twitched and a small, sad smile appeared on his face. “I seem to have bad luck in terms of romance.”

You returned his sad smile. “So I’ve heard. We humans have this proverb: It is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all.”

“That is not a proverb, it is a quote from a poem by Lord Alfred Tennyson”, Morpheus corrected.

“Whatever”, you rolled your eyes at him. “What I want to say is, that I will always love them and always want to love them, despite the grief. No matter how much grief might still come. It’s worth it.”

You noticed that the room had brightened and the people around you started moving and talking quietly again.

“Nada has caused you much grief”, you deadpanned. “Do you wish that you had never loved her?”

The King of Dreams looked at you for a long time. At your face, your hair, your hands. Your lips. Your eyes.

“No”, he said then. “It was worth it.”

You smiled at him and the music started playing again.

Apparently, you had gotten out of the rain.

“This dream is not collapsing”, he took a demonstrative look around. “Should we seek another one?”

“No”, you just looked at him. His face, his hair, his hands.

His lips.

His eyes.

“Let’s stay for a little while.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 6

Dulcis Innocentia

You could have done this forever, looking at the King of Dreams and pretending that the rest of the world didn’t exist.

He had something ethereal about him and he was beautiful. You couldn’t help but wonder what that wild hair would feel like, running through your fingers.

Every time his starlight gaze met yours it made your stomach do a funny little swoop.

You were so fucking stupid.

Everything he had just told you about his past heartache and forbidden love, and you sat here making moon eyes at him.

No wonder that after a while he suggested to finally leave Mike’s dream.

Well, it might also have been connected to the fact that Mike and his date started taking their respective clothes off again and your face had gone as red as a tomato.

Back in the corridor, he led you to the door of a person you didn’t know, with his hand on the small of your back.

It was a wild night for your emotions.

You couldn’t really say what the dream was about, but it was located on a peaceful graveyard next to a lovely little church. Strangely enough, it didn’t feel like a sad scene. All the flowers on the graves were in full bloom and the sun shone brightly from the cloudless sky.

Still, there was a slight chill in the air and you couldn’t help but shiver in your t-shirt as the wind picked up.

Morpheus gaze swept over you and in the next moment you were wearing a cosy, black jumper. It was too big on you, your arms disappearing in the sleeves, and for a silly moment you might have thought that it was his, before hitting yourself across the head mentally.

It was just a dream creation.

“Thanks”, you mumbled and shot him a shy smile as you tried to push the sleeves up far enough to make your hands go through the holes.

His mouth twitched and he walked closely next to you, as if your bodies were drifting together due to their own gravitational field.

You didn’t mind. There was something magical about his presence.

“Now”, Morpheus broke the silence after a while. “I seem to remember that you have made me a promise.”

“Oh, yeah”, you ducked your head down as you gnawed on your lip.

You had promised to tell him the truth and you intended to keep that promise. Enough trouble had been caused on your account already and you were ready to face the consequences.

“Well, it all started with me visiting my father, and then I met these guys…”

___________________________________

Morpheus couldn’t help but stare at you darkly.

Some time during your story you had taken a seat at the church steps and he had taken up to stand in front of you.

“And after meeting the stranger, you found me”, you shrugged. “And for the rest you were there.” You looked up at him to find that his figure cast an imposing shadow on your form, and with the sun at his back you couldn’t see his face.

“You made a deal with a hell demon?”, he finally grit out. “For a wish?”

Your body tensed when you heard his angry tone. “I –“

“You made a contract with one of the most vile, malicious creatures on this plane, having seen first hand what kind of consequences might await you, for a mere wish?” Morpheus couldn’t help it.

He was so strangely disappointed in you, that it pressed down on his chest and clawed at his throat. You had seemed so different from so many humans he had met in recent time.

You had seemed so good.

Just a mortal girl, full of smiles and sunshine, despite the pain life had thrown at you. You, who had spoken of love and hope for him, as if your world revolved about nothing else.

You had done exactly the same as some of the worst humans he had seen.

Give me back my son…

Make me rich…

Make me immortal…

Make me powerful…

…or I will keep you a prisoner forever.  

You had thrown away all of human decency and ethics, just to get something you wanted, that was most likely not yours to have.

Just like Roderick Burgess.

“I don’t… the wish wasn’t –“, you shook your head to clear your thoughts and jumped to your feet.

“To think that you would throw away your soul to achieve something you want”, Morpheus shook his head. “I had expected so much better, from you of all people.”

Your eyes widened, tears filling them. “What do you mean, from me of all people?”, you whispered.

Morpheus turned away from you, not being able to keep the pain and anger from his face.

“Wait!”, you said, curling your hand into his coat. “I didn’t sell my soul, I just –“

He let his coat disappear from your fingers as if it was nothing but air. “Away from me, human!”, he spat at you. “I have to think about the consequences of your actions.”

You stumbled forward upon losing your balance. “No, please…”, you gasped as if his rejection caused you physical pain.

Morpheus could not stand to see your tears. “This dream is over”, he commanded and wiped the image of you and the dream away with his hand.

Immediately, he found himself in his library.

“Hey, Boss”, Matthew’s wings flapped above his head. “How did go?”

Ignoring his companion, Morpheus strutted forward with long, determined steps. “Lucienne!”, he barked. “I have to speak with you.”

______________________________________

Your eyes were still red when you sat on the steps of the university library after lunch.

You had woken up after being thrown out of the dream by Morpheus, to find tears streaming down your face. Never in your whole life would you have expected such an aggressive reaction from the King of Dreams. You had not acted with evil intentions.

You had not even been that keen on that fucking wish.

Letting your head hang low, you supressed a sob of desperation.

His reaction had hurt much more than you could have anticipated.

From you of all people.

“Whaddup”, a voice said beside you.

You jerked away, your heart beating in your throat. “Dammit, Chicken Wing”, you spat weakly at Matthew. “You scared me.”

“Yeah, sorry”, the raven hopped a little closer. “Caused quite the kerfuffle, didn’t ya?”

“So you heard”, you groaned as you hid your face behind your hands.

“Well, not directly”, he croaked. “But the boss was in one hell of a mood when he got back, let me tell ya, and then he talked to Lucienne.”

“How do you know about it then?”

“Uh…”, you were pretty sure, if he could, the raven would have grinned at you cheekily. “Merv and I were curious.”

You shook your head, not able to hide your smile. “Of course you were.”

“So, a demon, huh?”, Matthew hopped onto your knee to look up at you. “Didn’t pick you for the type.”

“I’m not”, you defended yourself.

“Why did you do it then?”, the raven cocked his head to the side.

“You know that I don’t have to talk to you, right?”, you mumbled frustratedly and jerked your knee, causing him to flutter up in the air and land on your other side.

“Come on, tell your good ol’ pal Matthew.”

You snorted, but the raven’s presence did make you feel slightly better. “It’s just…”, you shrugged. “At first, I was just curious. Wanted to know whether those guys were just fucking around with me. Then I thought that I could try to wish for my dad back. I didn’t really think that it would actually happen, but worth a try, right?”

You looked at Matthew, who let out a sympathetic croak.

“Then I got there and got scared. Part of me didn’t want to do it at all. The other part was still curious if anything would happen if I saw it through. I figured, either nothing would happen at all and I was safe, or I would make a deal with an actual demon and had to make sure that I wouldn’t have to pay in some awful way.” You looked in the sun, thinking back to that day.

Matthew picked at the material of your jeans when you didn’t go on. “And how did you do that?”, he asked.

You laughed humourlessly. “The wish”, you explained. “There were no conditions, it could be as abstract as I wanted it to be. So, I wished that I wouldn’t have to pay for it at all. That the demon would take nothing from me for the deal.”

“Huh”, Matthew made. “That’s… really clever.” He sounded impressed.

You grinned at the raven. “Thanks.”

“But you didn’t get anything real to wish for, though”, he pressed on. “Why do it at all?”

A deep sigh left you. “Y’know, I thought about that myself a lot lately. I didn’t even know that I would be able to enter other people’s dreams, they just said that I could control my own. But…”, you swallowed thickly. “My dad’s pretty much gone. My mum hates me. I’m rarely allowed to see my little sister. My brother hasn’t talked to me in years. Mike is literally my only friend and he won’t live with me forever. I’m just fucking lonely and maybe a little bored.”

You pressed your lips together, willing the tears from your eyes. “I guess being able to at least dream that the world is the way I wanted it to be would have been nice.” You smiled sadly. “Wasn’t worth it though. As soon as I realised that none of the people I dreamt up were real, it lost its touch. Pretending that everything was alright in my dreams didn’t make life better as soon as I woke up.”

Matthew leaned his little head against your arm, not knowing what to say.

“I had one hell of a time when I figured out, I could visit others in their dreams”, you went on. “Even after your boss found me it was nice. Exciting. At least for a little while.” You shook your head. “Life sucks.”

“I’m sorry”, Matthew croaked.

“Not your fault, chicken”, you said cheekily and padded his head.

“No, I’m sorry for what I have to tell you”, he explained. “The boss demands your presence tonight. He wants to take you to hell.”

Your mouth dropped open. “What?”

Surely, he wasn’t going to punish you by sending you to hell, right?

Right?

“Yeah, I heard him and Lucienne talking. Apparently, this Somniomercator was a guy Morpheus created over a thousand years ago. Humanity was at a low point and the boss thought that if he made it possible for certain people to dream together, it might get better. The Somnioportator was supposed to carry people across dreams into the dreams of others. You know, lovers and family and such. But he didn’t do his job very well and refused to do as the boss told him after being warned several times. Apparently, the boss was a little less understanding back then than he his now and decided to punish him by sending him to hell, putting him into Lucifer’s custody.”

“He left an out-of-control creation to the literal devil himself?”, you asked.

That didn’t seem like a smart thing to do.

“Well, the world was obviously a little different a millennium ago and when nothing happened for nine-hundred years, everyone thought that after turning into a demon, the Somnioportator had lost its powers over the dreaming.”

“Of course”, a light bulb went on in your head. “But when Morpheus was imprisoned, the demon could start selling his abilities without the King of Dreams knowing.”

“Bingo”, Matthew nodded. “Was one hell of a business for Lucifer too. Causing suffering amongst the humans by taking their loved ones or their sanity or their lives. And whenever one would try to buy themselves out, the way that Simon-dude did with you, it was a guaranteed one-way ticket to hell as soon as the other shoe dropped.”

“Fuck”, you cursed. “Damn, I hope my fucking wish worked.”

“I guess so”, Matthew croaked. “The theory is that all the others were cut down by death or madness before they could even find their doors. The stranger just got lucky, but Morpheus never found him, because he must have been warned by some vision of Lucifer or the demon that the Sandman existed. But they couldn’t do anything to you.”

“Huh”, you leaned back. “Lucky me.”

“Yeah”, Matthew spread his wings. “Anyway, you, me and the boss. Hell. Tonight.”

“Matthew, wait!”, you stopped him before he could fly away. “He’s not gonna leave me there, right?” Your eyes were round with fear.

“Uh, I don’t think so”, he sounded thoughtful. “All I heard was that he needs you as proof for Lucifer. Apparently, there are certain rules in hell and he can’t make an accusation that is unfounded and the devil would deny anything anyway.”

“Ah, okay”, you nodded slowly. “Guess I’ll discover the rest tonight.”

____________________________________

After leaving your dream, it was Matthew who picked you up and led you through the corridor. After a couple of stairs and more hallways you couldn’t remember, you found yourself in the library again.

Lucienne was the first one you came across. She looked up from a book she had been holding when she heard Matthew’s chatter.

“Hi, I – uh, have been summoned”, you greeted awkwardly.

“Of course”, she nodded in a friendly manner and you were relieved to find that her master’s anger at you had obviously not rubbed off on her. “Follow me.”

Another pair of stairs and a huge doorway and you found yourself in a room with large glass windows and a winding stairwell leading up to an intricate dark throne.

Your heart jumped in your chest when you saw the dark figure of Morpheus looming at the foot of the stairs. He was wearing his shorter coat from the waking world again.

“My Lord”, Lucienne bowed slightly. “Your guest is here.”

“Thank you, Lucienne”, Morpheus gaze evaded yours as he dismissed her with a nod.

“I gotta say”, Matthew started as he flew in a circle over your heads, “I’m not to thrilled to go back there.”

“Well, Matthew”, Morpheus replied as he produced a pouch from the insides of his coat. “You are very welcome to remain here.”

“No way”, the raven croaked and landed at its master’s feet. “After what happened the last time? You need me, boss. I’ll keep you safe.”

Morpheus lips twitched as he looked fondly down at his raven. “Of course.”

Your heart warmed slightly at the scene, but then your attention was drawn away by the magnificent ceiling. It resembled the ceiling in the corridor, only that it was far more vast and the stars were blinking across the purplish sky in a million different colours.

“Wow”, you whispered to yourself as you put your head back to take it all in. One day, you hoped you could see more of this realm. It was a truly magnificent place.

The King of Dreams cleared his throat behind you quietly, drawing your attention back to him.

“Come”, he said with an outstretched hand, his eyes still not meeting yours.

You followed his command, but before you could take his hand, he dropped it again. Blushing due to the awkwardness, you stepped as close to him as you dared and ducked your head low in embarrassment.

“Hold on, kid”, Matthew said as Morpheus buried his hand in the pouch. “Here we go.”

Morpheus lifted fine sand from the pouch and let it slip through his fingers between the three of you. You stared in amazement as the sand touched the ground but seemed to hover above the floor until it lifted into a swirl that quickly surrounded you.

Your hair was blown across yourself and a jolt went through your body.

Then everything got quiet. You sputtered, hair sticking to your mouth, and tried your best to push the strands back.

You couldn’t help but gasp at the sudden change in scenery. You were surrounded by black and brown planes of sand and gravel, the occasional patch of some weed swaying in the breeze. Above you, the sky was overhung with deep hanging clouds and you could see hills grazing the horizon at your back. Behind the hills, orangey red light glowed.

In the distance, there was a wall of skulls and bones, seemingly endless, only interrupted by a gate.

You shivered. It was surprisingly cold.

Matthew croaked miserably and, with a couple of flaps, landed on your shoulder.

“You gonna keep me safe too, chicken wing?”, you asked quietly as you took everything in with wide eyes.

The raven pressed its beak against your cheek affectionately. “Sure thing, kid.”

You smiled until you saw that Morpheus was watching you with curious eyes. Blushing, you hid your face behind your hair.

“Come on”, he said then. “We have a long way to go.”

You set out to follow him.

Something crunched underneath your boot and you looked down just in time to see the bones of a spine crumble to dust beneath your sole. Your face paled.

This didn’t seem like a good idea at all.

You had no idea what to expect of hell or the actual devil and you were still only semi-sure that Morpheus wouldn’t just pull the ground from beneath your feet and abandon you here.

As you got closer to the gate, the ground beneath your feet changed to a path that wound itself between the slight hills.

Soon after that, the groaning started. You squinted through the dusty air and saw that you were following a long line of mortals, you guessed, that were groaning and moaning their agonizing way to the gates of hell, large woven baskets filled with fire on their back.

“We’re following the damned”, Matthew explained quietly, still faithfully seated on your shoulder.

“Oh…”, you made, your feet suddenly rooted to the spot. You heart beat as if it wanted to jump out of your chest and your already clammy hands were starting to shake.

What were you doing here? As the only human out of your group of three, who knew what would happen to you? You didn’t belong here and you most certainly didn’t want to be here.

You felt like you were going to throw up.

“You okay, kid?”, Matthew flapped around you and landed at your feet. “You’re as white as a sheet.”

Your feet wouldn’t move, even if you wanted them too.

Morpheus realised that you were no longer following him and turned around, seeing you stare at the damned and the gate wide-eyed.

“I don’t wanna go on”, you said in a shaky voice. God, please don’t throw up.  

Morpheus furrowed his brows and took a step towards you. You, in turn, took a step back and shook your head vehemently.

“No”, you croaked out. “I don’t want to be here.”

“Nothing will happen to you”, Morpheus said as he looked at you from a safe distance, “You are protected by certain rules as part of my convoy.”

You shook your head again, swallowing heart. “No, I don’t wanna go to hell.”

He tried to near you again, but you kept the space between you by walking backwards.

“I don’t want you to leave me here”, you whispered.

Finally, the King of Dreams looked into your eyes and had the audacity to look taken aback.

Matthew gave an uncomfortable little croak.

Morpheus brows furrowed even further in confusion. “I will not leave you here”, he said then and extended his hand to you, palm up. “You are my witness. After we are done here, I will deliver you safely back to the waking world.”

You stared at the white hand, blinking quietly. “Promise”, you demanded as you slowly put your shaking hand in his.

His fingers closed over yours and he pulled you to him, standing in front of you in this I-am-the-King-of-Dreams-and-don’t-know-personal-space kind of way. “I swear it”, he whispered solemnly as he looked into your eyes.

You stared right back, teeth buried in your lower lip. “Okay. I… I trust you.”

To your surprise, he didn’t let go of your hand as he moved forward again, but held it firmly. Whenever the moan of one of the damned made you shudder, his thumb swept comfortingly over your knuckles. Soon enough, Matthew found his place on your shoulder again as you trotted behind his master.

Until the next hiccup happened: you were close enough to the gate of hell to see it closing behind the last of the damned when you suddenly couldn’t move forward anymore. It was as if a wall of glass had solidified right in front of your face.

Morpheus tugged at your hand gently when you came to a halt, but you could just stare dumbly in front of you. Raising your free hand, you pressed it against the invisible wall, not able to go through.

“I can’t”, you said as you looked back at Morpheus. “It’s not me, it’s like…”, you slapped your hand against the wall demonstratively, “…there’s a wall.”

Morpheus looked around in confusion and Matthew flew from your shoulder to check it out himself. He could go through without any problem.

“Is it maybe because she is a living mortal and hasn’t died yet?”, he asked his master.

“No”, Morpheus answered as he walked behind you. “Lucifer would only be all too delighted to let living mortals into hell.” He bent slightly, swiftly pulling your legs out from under you and lifting you in his arms like a bride.

You yelped in surprise and your arms flew around his shoulders, wide eyed stare fixed on the side of his neck.

With you in his arms, however, he couldn’t move forward either.

“Huh”, Matthew made as he landed at your feet. “What else could it be?”

Morpheus let you back to your feet gently and took a step back, eyeing you from head to toe. “Do you have any holy insignia on you? Crosses or crucifixes?”

You shook your head.

Matthew stretched his wings nervously. “Perhaps she doesn’t deserve to be here? She seems very innocent to me, boss.”

Brows still furrowed, his master negated the question.

“True, I made a deal with a demon after all”, you added. Duh.

“Which a payment was agreed for that is not your soul”, Morpheus suddenly said. “A payment you tricked your way out of. They could not condemn you on those grounds.”

You stared back at him in surprise. You hadn’t known that he knew about your clever wish.

“Have you ever killed anyone?”, Matthew asked.

You just gave him a look that said don’t be ridiculous.

“Stolen something?”

“Of course not”, you didn’t take what wasn’t yours.

“Lied to anyone?”

“Sure”, there had been the occasional white lie to save someone’s feelings from getting hurt.

“With malicious intent?”, Morpheus got in on the interrogation.

“Uh… I dunno”, you shrugged defensively. “It’s not like I take notes or something.”

“Still”, Morpheus shook his head, grinding his teeth in frustration at the situation. “A soul gets granted access to hell for the slightest misconduct in virtue and chasteness.”

“Oh, something like sodomy or rather pre-marital sex?”, Matthew inquired curiously and Morpheus had to visibly fight the urge to roll his eyes at the raven.

“Both.”

Oh.

Oh.  

Matthew flew up, did a quick circle over your heads and landed back down. “What if someone saw us coming and wanted to stop us? Or alerted Lucifer?”

“Uhhhhhh”, you drew the sound out awkwardly.

“And then only stopped the mortal?”, Morpheus argued back. “Unlikely.”

You raised your hand hesitantly. “About that sex thing…”

“What, you married?”, Matthew cackled, obviously being sarcastic. “Or a virgin?”

“Well…”, blood rushed to your face.

For a moment it was eerily quiet in hell.

Both king and raven just started at you. You could feel the blood rushing in your ears, fisting your hands at your sides nervously.

“Wow, uh”, Matthew regained himself first. “Looks like we got a real pure soul on our hands, boss. No passage.”

You chanced a glance at Morpheus through your lashes, head still tilted downwards.

He stared at you for a long, silent moment, eyes black. Finally, his jaw clenched angrily. “Well”, was all he said.

“You can just go without me”, you suggested. “I wouldn’t be very useful anyway.”

His brows furrowed in frustration. “There are protocols we must follow”, he gritted out. “I cannot bring an accusation before another monarch without a witness.”

“Oh, uh…”, you were struggling to find something to say.

If he didn’t stop that demon, the dreaming would be threatened by even more people who could control their dreams, possibly even find their doors and wander his palace as intruders.

This was all your fault.

And Morpheus was angry again, you could see it. Just a five minutes ago he had been holding your hand as if it was the most normal thing in the world, that didn’t completely put your world on its head, and now…

“I could fix it”, you offered quietly.  

“You gonna kill somebody?”, Matthew asked with something that almost sounded like a snort.

“No, the – uh…”, you waved your hand vaguely through the air. “The other thing.” Virginity was an over-rated concept anyway, you decided quickly.  

“Fix it?”, Morpheus repeated, staring at your face intensely.

“Yeah?”, you shrugged. “’s no big deal. People do it all the time. As long as...... would I go to hell when I die? For having sex before marriage?” Seemed a little harsh to you. 

Morpheus sighed in exasperation. "No", he explained slowly. "Sins are not definite, they move on a continuum. But, a pure soul cannot enter this realm. Smaller sins, however, like sexual relations are not condemnation worthy. They taint you slightly, they do not imprison you."  

“Yeah, cool, than it's all good, right?", oh God, what were you saying?

"I could do it right tomorrow”, you talked yourself deeper into the rabbit hole. “We could be back here in twenty-four hours with a slightly less… um, innocent me.” You blinked at your companions nervously.

“And then I can do the witness thing”, you ended weakly. “To stop the disturbance in your realm.”

Matthews little head jumped back and forth between you and Morpheus.

Who looked at you for a long time and you couldn’t tell whether his expression was still angry or something else. “Fine”, he finally bit out and swiped his hand in front of your eyes.

In the next moment, you were in the corridor again, standing in front of your door. With a defeated sigh, you re-entered your dream.

___________________________________

You were a fucking idiot.

You could have just said that you would steal something, or slap a stranger, or burn a cross, or whatever.

But no, you had to jump on the first train of thought and explain in front of the goddamn King of Dreams – whom you carried the hots for, by the way – how you would just lose your virginity by boning a stranger.

Perfect. Fool-proof plan.

To be fair, since it was apparently a requirement for a lie to be malicious to qualify as sin, you couldn’t have been sure that stealing a banana might have been enough to be allowed into hell. And you would have never dared to hurt anyone intentionally.

So, sex it was.

“Mike”, you started at breakfast the next day. “What advice would you give me if I told you that I was hell-bent on losing my virginity today?”

Mike choked on his coffee for a minute. “I would tell you to go back to bed until whatever you took is out of your system.”

You rolled your eyes. “Very funny. Anything else?”

His expression turned thoughtful. “Everything okay with you?”

“Sure, sure”, your leg was bouncing beneath the table. “Just wanna dip into that boundless wisdom of yours on the subject.”

Mike snorted. “I’d tell you to make sure that he is clean and use a rubber anyway. Make sure he gets you wet and stretched enough beforehand. Take a piss afterwards.”

You scrunched your face up in disgust. “Yeah, thanks, buddy.”

“And”, he pointed his fork at your nose, “do it with that guy you have a crush on. You know, the one you couldn’t take your eyes off the other day and who, by the way, couldn’t take his eyes off you either.”

A blush rose to your cheeks. “Yeah, maybe”, you murmured, knowing full well that that was not going to happen.

You showered and shaved everything you could think of. You put on your favourite dress, a flowy sun dress with thin straps and a little bit of cleavage, that hit right above your knees. You even did your hair as nicely as you could.

Then, you went about your day as normal, hoping that something – or better said, someone – would turn up.

___________________________________

“Boy, this is awkward, huh?”, Matthew chatted away. “Sitting around here, waiting, knowing exactly what’s going on in the waking world, possibly at this very moment.”

Morpheus wasn’t that far away from snapping the entire table the raven was sitting on in half.

He had hoped to spend the agonizing hours until you fell asleep again with reading, but the endeavour seemed fruitless. His mind wouldn’t stay on the words.

His thoughts would without fault travel back to his past interactions with you. He had regretted his words against you at the graveyard after hearing your reason for dealing with the demon through Matthew. His regret had only been augmented, interlaced with shame, as you expressed your fear that he might condemn you to hell for it.

He might not have steeped low enough to apologize, but he would have liked to explain his reasons for being so disappointed upon the prospect that you had sold your soul for a wish, so similar to his former captors. He would have, had it not been for Matthew’s presence.

Morpheus would not have such an intimate conversation, especially not with you who seemed to be so capable of stripping him of his inhibitions, while the chatty raven was near. He might as well do it in front of his entire kingdom.

And then you had to go ahead and ruin everything with your innocence. It had been centuries since he had heard of a human that was not allowed passage into hell. Nowadays, no one could be that pure of a soul.

Or at least so he had thought.

Looking back, it made so much sense that you were untouched. The way your cheeks had darkened upon the vivid dreams of your friend. Or every other time you were flustered, especially by his touch.  

And it should be a relief to him that you were willing to remedy this impediment so that he could put you on the witness-stand before Lucifer. You had reacted as a loyal subject should, enabling him to put order back in his kingdom.  

His hand turned into a fist, crushing the quill in his hand.

Finally, Matthew stopped talking. “Boss…?”

Morpheus rushed to his feet, letting the mess he had made disappear. “Excuse me”, he said and left the library behind.

Not that his throne room was of much more comfort. Here, where you had stared so timidly up at the starry ceiling and he had felt the urge to show you every part of his realm, every oh so hidden corner.

But it was not your place. You didn’t belong here. You belonged back in your dreams, the regular dreams of every human. And after a while, months or even years, you would forget all about this little adventure, these few weeks as a guest in his palace, and live a normal, mortal life.

And he would do nothing but watch you dream from afar.

Unable to bear it any longer, he went on his way.

__________________________________

It was almost midnight when you opened the door to your bedroom again, having spent the last two hours in a nice vintage bar.

“You are alone”, Morpheus observed from the dark, sitting in your old leather desk chair.

You jumped in surprise, back hitting the door, pushing it shut with a loud bang. “Jesus, fuck, …”, you cursed breathlessly. He could see you strain to listen whether the noise had alerted your roommate, but the other human still slept and dreamt soundly.

Meanwhile, Morpheus eyes swept over you, trying to determine whether something about you had changed. Your posture perhaps? The way you carried yourself?

“Yes, I’m alone”, you finally hissed at him, throwing your bag on the bed angrily. “Obviously. What would you have done otherwise, scaring the crap out of me and the guy who’s supposed to take my virginity?”

Did that mean that it had not been taken yet? His hands curled around the armrests impatiently.

“The day is almost over”, he finally stated.

Your shoulders slumped in defeat and you let your head hang low. “I’m sorry”, you whispered. “Can’t I do something else? Steal something? Or tell someone a really, really bad lie?”

When you stared at him with those big eyes, he would have loved to tell you that you should do none of those things. That you were perfect just as you were, soul included.

So, you were apparently still a virgin. A strange sense of relief rushed through him and just now did he dare to admit to himself what had been plaguing him all day. That the thought of another man’s hands on you had made him angrier than anything else in a long time. That the thought of another’s hands on you for the first time, on his account no less, had turned him absolutely livid.

He shot to his feet in a swift motion and was surprised to see you flinch.

“Please”, you lifted your hands. “Don’t be angry. I’ll think of something, I swear.”

Dread flowed through him as tears filled your eyes.

“Just…”, you bit your lower lip hard to stop it from moving on its own. “Don’t be angry anymore.”

Morpheus took a step closer, crowding you in the tiny bedroom. “I am not angry”, he replied quietly.

“You are”, you argued back, eyes shining with unshed tears. “At me ‘of all people’. I know I shouldn’t have done that deal with the demon, but I…”, tears spilled over your cheeks.

“I am not angry”, he repeated. “Do not cry. I understand the loneliness that drives you all too well.” Stepping even closer, he took your face in his hand gently, sweeping his thumbs over your tearstained cheeks. “Please, do not cry.”

You sucked in a sharp breath at his touch, eyes staring up at his. “You know what I said to Matthew?”

“I heard every word”, he admitted.

He should let you go. Remove his hands from you and step away. But he couldn’t.

“It’s still my fault”, you whispered, new tears gathering. “That you couldn’t fix it. That you couldn’t make that demon stop in hell.” Your tiny hands fisted themselves into the lapels of his coat, most likely without you even realising it.

He was suddenly reminded of the heat of your hand in his. He hadn’t been able to let go then either.

“I’m sorry”, you said again. “That I couldn’t fix it.”

He wiped another stray tear from your cheek. “Why couldn’t you?”, he asked, honest curiosity taking over.

You ducked your head, cheeks colouring with shame beneath his white fingers. “I – It’s not like I wouldn’t have found somebody, I think. It’s just… I was afraid. All this time I kept thinking, ‘what if he’s a serial killer’ or ‘what if it hurts’ or ‘what if he turns out to be a massive asshole and I hate myself afterwards’.”

Morpheus brows furrowed in confusion. Humans surely were strange beings.

He was well aware that some – far too many – had found ways to violate the intimate ways of physical coupling. Or that the act of losing virginity might be painful for a woman.

And yet, he couldn’t help but wonder how things could be this twisted for you. He had always yearned for the touch of his lovers, risking far too much for it even. He admired the act of loving another’s body, relished in it.

To him, it had always been a wonderful thing. A holy act. Nothing to be feared.

“It should not frighten you”, Morpheus said as he held your face tenderly, directing your gaze back to his. “It is a beautiful thing, to worship another’s body.”

Your cheeks reddened even further as you stared back at him. “I guess so”, you croaked out. “I just can’t do it with someone I don’t at least trust.”

Step away, he told himself. Supress your passion for this mortal. You know where this leads. With him, out in the rains, alone.  

“You trust me”, was what he said instead, reminding you of your earlier words. Throwing all caution to the wind.  

Your eyes widened at what he had said, heat of your blood flaming beneath his fingers. Your hands were no longer in his coat, but pressed against his shirt, their warmth seeping through his rips.

You licked your lips nervously. “Yes, I do”, you admitted and said so much more at the same time.

“If your innocence burdens you so”, his nose brushed yours, “I would relieve you.”

Your shaky exhale hit his face, eyes blinking slowly. “You … what? I, uh –“

A gasp escaped you as he kissed you.

Your lips were just as soft and sweet as he had imagined.

You breathed sharply, heart racing as he peppered your lips with kisses. Your body shook beneath his hands.

Passionately impatient, his thumb grazed your cheekbone and lowered to your chin, where it pressed into the skin and tucked downwards, opening your mouth.

A moan escaped high in your throat as his tongue caressed yours and your body turned weak in his arms.

And the King of Dreams was truly lost.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7

Foedus diabolicum

No one had ever touched you like you were glass before. As if you were the most fragile thing in the world and had to be protected at all cost.

At least that was what it felt like to have the King of Dreams hold your face tenderly in his hands.

Your heart was beating in your throat. By telling him that you did in fact trust him, had you admitted too much? Gone too far?

“If your innocence burdens you so…”, he whispered in that deep, raspy voice of his. You could feel his nose bumping into yours slightly, face tingling in anticipation. “…I would relieve you.”

Your brain short-circuited.

Had… had he just offered what you thought he had? No, he wouldn’t… right?

You blinked a couple of times, trying to clear your head. Breathe in and out. “You…what? I, uh –“

He leaned forward, pressing his lips to yours, and you couldn’t help but gasp.

Your breathing got heavier as he kissed you again and again, body starting to tremble.

His thumb swept over your cheek, lips so soft against yours, and he gently pulled your chin down, coaxing your mouth open.

You couldn’t help the high moan that escaped you as his tongue stroked over yours, knees turning into jelly.

He breathed in sharply through his nose when you opened your mouth further on your own accord, curling your tongue against his.

God, you felt like your body was on fire. Your hands pressed firmly against his rib cage – when had you snaked them beneath his coat? – feeling the soft material of his shirt and the coolness of his skin underneath.

Morpheus was kissing you.

You were kissing the King of Dreams and Nightmares.

He took a step forward, pushing your back to the door, body pressed against yours. His hands slid a little backwards on your head, burying in your hair.

Excitement coursed through you and it was getting harder to breathe. Your hands clawed at his body helplessly, not really knowing where to touch, nails digging into his skin.

He pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth, then to your cheek, a low rumble in his throat that made your head spin. Suddenly, his open mouth was on your neck, teeth grazing your pulse before soothing the tingling skin with a sweet kiss.

One of his hands moved down your spine, leaving goose bumps in its wake, before pressing against you lower back, moulding your body even further into his.

And then you felt him against your belly.

Hard.

You gasped loudly in surprise, too loudly, body alight with the same fear from before.

What if it hurt?

What if…

 But his voice was in your thoughts immediately. It is a beautiful thing, to worship another’s body. If that wasn’t one of the most erotic things anyone had ever said to you, you didn’t know what was.

You felt the tell-tale tug of arousal low in your stomach replacing the fear.

Morpheus had pulled away, sensing your short spike of anxiety. His eyes were black, stars seeming dull in your dark room as he stared at your face, obviously contemplating his choices.

A desperate sound crawled up your throat as you lunged forward, kissing him, not wanting this to end. You couldn’t get enough of the tase of his mouth, that taste of starlight and dreams, as you pushed your tongue back against his far less graceful than he had done.

Thankfully, he didn’t seem to mind, everything about him radiating passion.

You moved your hands upward shyly, dragging over his chest to his shoulders, slowly pushing the coat off.

He had to remove his hands from you in order to shrug out of the piece of garment, which you didn’t like at all, giving a silly whine, despite the fact that his mouth never left yours.

As soon as the coat hit the floor, leaving him in a long-sleeved black shirt, his hand was back in your hair, pulling you closer. Emboldened by his reactions, you put your hands under his shirt.

Both of you gasped open-mouthed into the kiss when your fingertips grazed the naked skin of his sides with nothing more but the whisper of a touch. Sharing the same breath, you pressed down a little harder, palms against his cool skin, sparks seeming to fly from the place where you touched.

And then his free hand touched the inside of your thigh, right above your knee.

You panted, mouth forming a surprised ‘oh’, as your lower half started to throb in anticipation. His lips grazed your jaw, patiently awaiting your reaction.

“Hm”, you hummed in pleasure as his palm inched higher, disappearing beneath your skirt and stopping mid-thigh.

Stopping altogether.

His nose brushed your cheekbone, then your temple, lips tracing the shell of your ear. You shivered involuntarily.

He wouldn’t move, dragging out the moment. You were not sure whether he wanted to savour it or whether he was still unsure of your willingness.

“Please”, you finally whispered into the darkness.

His head was buried against your neck as soon as the plea had left your mouth, a deep moan rumbling from his body into yours. The sound sent a new wave of arousal through you, undoubtedly drenching your flimsy underwear.

“Morpheus…”, you tried to press him gently.

His mouth was on your ear again. “What are you doing to me, little seductress?”, he whispered so quietly that you weren’t sure whether you had heard him right.

“What?”, you blinked into the darkness. It was hard to grasp any rational thought. “I’m not seducing you.”

He raised his head, dark eyes staring into yours. His lips were red and swollen from your kisses and the trembling in your knees intensified.

“Are you not?”, he asked then with the hint of a smile around his wet lips. At the same time, his hand cupped you through your underwear.

You threw your head back with a surprised moan, not knowing what was happening to you. The back of your head connected with the wood of the door with a loud thud.

Was it supposed to feel like this?

He growled lowly, closing his eyes and relishing in the sounds you were making. His movements got jerkier, impatient, as he pulled the seam of your underwear to the side, brushing your most intimate skin with his fingertips.

You were soaking wet.

His brows furrowed in a concentrated expression, as if he was trying to control himself, as he leaned forward again to kiss your lips deeply.

You had never been touched like this before, at least not by anyone but yourself. He hadn’t done much more than give you the hint of a touch yet, and you were completely gone, head spinning and limbs trembling. Your hands slipped over his smooth skin, moving around him and pressing into his spine to bring him closer.

Finally, finally, his fingers parted your folds and rubbed around your entrance gently before stroking upwards against your clit.

“Oh”, you mewled into his mouth. In turn, he kissed you harder, his grip on the back of your head bruising as he started to rub with more pressure.

You moaned, feeling that it still wasn’t enough, that it would never be enough, and tried to move your hips against his hand clumsily, wanting more.

He stroked downwards again, entering you with a long finger and you choked on a sob at the unfamiliar intrusion. This time it was you who buried your face against his neck, feeling his rapid pulse beneath the white skin.

Morpheus moaned loudly when he felt the tight squeeze of your virgin walls around his finger. He started to thrust his hand slowly, arching into your touch when your blunt nails dug into the skin of his back.

Your breath was hot against his neck as he added a second finger. You flinched slightly at the stretch, but it stung only for a moment until he started moving again. His lips were on your forehead when you let out a sob as he found your clit with his thumb. Then, he started to work you in earnest.

Your mind felt dizzy when he pushed you higher and higher, his body gently rocking against the side of your hip in motion to his fingers, finding a little pleasure of his own. You took a deep breath when he added a third finger, the coil in your stomach so tight that it was almost painful.

Another well-timed thrust, a skilful press of his thumb and you had to press you open mouth into his shoulder, sobbing against the fabric of his shirt as you seized up, walls drawing tight around him.

You sobbed through your orgasm in sultry moans, never having felt anything quite like it.

With your arms tightly wound around him and your face against his shoulder, you needed a minute to catch your breath as the world kept spinning around you. Your knees felt weak.

Morpheus was breathing rapidly above you, his strong heartbeat thrumming against your cheek.

“Wow”, you finally whispered without thinking about it. Colour rose to your cheeks when you felt him remove his hand slowly, feeling the wetness you had drenched it with.

While you were still trying to process everything that was happening, his fingers hooked into your panties, dragging them down far enough that they pooled around your ankles on their own.

You were not yet done.

Face red with slight embarrassment, you looked up at him through your lashes as you stepped out of your underwear. He bent down and gave you the sweetest kiss of your life, his lips merely brushing yours.

His hands closed around your elbows gently, tugging your hands out from under his shirt, confusing you. But then his hands travelled lower, to the backs of your thighs and swiftly lifted you off of your feet as if you weighed nothing at all. Your hands flew to his shoulders in support.  

Winding your legs around his waist, you felt his hardness press against your naked sex.

This was really happening. You were really going to lose your virginity to the Dream of the Endless.

He moved to the bed quickly, sitting down on the edge with you on his lab, his feet firmly planted on the floor. His legs were slightly spread, forcing your thighs even further apart.

You hadn’t even realised that he had undone his pants until he kissed you again and something big and blunt nudged against you.

Jesus, neither of you was even naked yet. But you could sense in the trembling of his arms that he couldn’t wait any longer.

You panted heavily, fingernails scratching against his neck and then, then you buried your hands in his wild hair.

It felt just as soft as you had imagined.

“I… I cannot bide any longer”, Morpheus whispered into the space between your lips, sounding as if he was in pain. “Will you give me this gift?”

“Yes”, you breathed back without a moment of doubt. God, yes.

His hands were under your arms, lifting you slightly until his length pressed against you entrance. You trembled with anticipation as he let you down agonizingly slow, the head of his cock stretching you out.

You should have known that a godlike creature like him would be big, but you hadn’t been prepared for just how much he would fill you. You hadn’t even gotten a chance to get your hands on him first, trying to gauge what would await you.

He met the resistance of your virginity and lowered you down further, gravity pushing him deeper inside you and you clenched your teeth as you felt the sharp sting of pain.

Foolishly thinking that you could power through you tried to keep any sound inside, but he pushed deeper and deeper, long after you thought that you must have taken all of him already. When you were finally completely seated in his lap, the space between your thighs burned and you couldn’t help the hiss that escaped you. Tears were stinging the corners of your eyes, which Morpheus quickly kissed away.

“Shhh”, he made soothingly while you took deep breaths, slowly becoming accustomed to the intrusion. His fingers were at your shoulders, pushing the thin straps of your dress off and pulling them down your arms.

Your bra came of next while he kissed down your throat, still not moving inside you. Your dress was pooling around your waist, leaving the rest of you naked. His teeth grazed your collarbones, forcing a shiver down your spine, as his hands pressed against your shoulder blades to allow you to arch back further.

You sucked in a quick breath when his lips grazed a trail down to the swell of your breast, further down, until his tongue circled your nipple gently. Your walls fluttered around him, pain long forgotten and you couldn’t help but rock against him when he sucked your nipple into his mouth.

Morpheus moaned at the friction, passion overwhelming his restraint. While he kept licking at your chest, his hands went back beneath your arms, lifting you and pushing you back down on him. Soon, you got the rhythm of it and aided him with your thigh muscles, gently circling your hips on top of him.

Your moans were getting louder, no longer caring that you didn’t live alone as you felt the slide and push of his body inside yours. It was a magnificent feeling, far better than you could have ever imagined.

In this position, your clit rubbed against his lower stomach and a patch of course hair, letting sparks shoot up your spine and the wish to see all of him consumed you. You moaned his name, whether in warning or anything else you didn’t know, as your orgasm surprised you completely,  washing through your body from the roots of your hair to the tips of your toes.

Your body gripped him like a vice while you rode your pleasure out on top of him, wave after wave crushing down over you.

He couldn’t hold back any longer. He got to his feet and turned, pushing you down back first into the mattress, his body never leaving yours.

He was lying fully clothed on top of you, thrusting into you harshly, your overstimulated body burning with hot pleasure in response. His shirt had ridden up, allowing you to gaze at his toned stomach and sharp hipbones at least. Your flailing legs pushed his pants further down as you dug your heels into his thighs and you couldn’t resist the urge to reach down and grab onto his ass. You had to bite your lips to hide a cheeky, pleasured smile. Every thing about him was firm, silken skin stretched over hard, slender muscles.  

God, you wanted to see all of him. Feel all of him. Taste all of him.

He distracted you by sucking at your neck, his thrusts turning sharper, harder. His hands found your wrists, pulling your arms above your head and interlacing his fingers with yours.

Morpheus moaned into your neck like a starved man, body pushing your hips into the mattress, two, three more times. He buried himself to the hilt with a hard thrust that made your thighs ache, sucking in a sharp breath against your neck before releasing a drawn-out moan.

His warmth flooded you, your walls fluttering around him. His fingers squeezed yours gently as he lazily drew his head up and kissed you. You closed your eyes and lost yourself in the moment.

He kept kissing you, tongue stroking yours slowly, while your breathing settled down. Exhaustion overcame you and your eyelids grew heavy, despite the fact that your mind felt buzzingly alive. This was not just your body wanting rest.  

“See you on the other side”, you whispered against his lips as you started to slip away smoothly, most likely aided by his power.

__________________________________

You found yourself in the library. Your suspicion that Morpheus had helped you to slip away to the dreaming was strengthened by the fact that you were – thank God – not naked. In the past you had often found yourself in your dreams wearing the same things you had worn when you had fallen asleep.

Now, you wore your usual jeans and boots, combined with that sweater he had magicked on you at the graveyard. Warmth washed through your chest as you tucked on the long sleeves.

“Ah, hello”, Lucienne greeted you cheerily as she turned the corner of one of the bookshelves. “I’m afraid our King has not yet returned.”

Your face flushed in a brilliant red, knowing full well that the King of Dreams was probably still in your bed, trying to get his head back on straight.

The very same thing you were currently struggling with. Your lips still felt swollen from his deep kisses and there was a distinct soreness between your legs.

You suppressed the slight feeling that you had been cheated not only out of sharing the postcoital bliss with him, but also of seeing the King of Dreams without his composure. It seemed unfair that he could just send you away so quickly.  

“Oh, that’s okay”, you mumbled, still nervously picking at your sleeves, hoping that the librarian couldn’t see your every emotion on your face.  

“Hey kid”, Matthew announced himself as he flew over your heads. “So, what’s the update? Gonna make it to hell today?”

If possible, you blushed even further, chancing a glance at Lucienne, not knowing whether she had been informed about the hiccup yesterday. She looked back at you with a look of detached friendliness, giving you nothing.

“Uhm, yeah…”, you nodded slowly. “Should be all fixed.”

Matthew gave a cheeky “oooohhhhhhh” as he drew another circle and then flew down a flight of stairs.

“Yes, we should probably follow Matthew and wait for Lord Morpheus in the throne room”, Lucienne said and led the way.

You spent your time in the throne room with staring at the beautiful ceiling, not really listening to Lucienne and Matthew’s conversation, instead still trying to get your racing heartbeat back under control. You had no idea how you should act now.

One thing was sure, you would definitely not be able to pretend that it hadn’t happened. The memory of his lips against yours, his tongue against your skin and his movements inside you felt like they were etched into your mind forever. Releasing a loaded breath, you realised that you were getting worked up again, thinking about his body against yours.

“Boss, there you are!”, Matthew stopped to call at the other end of the room.

Morpheus strutted towards you, tall and regal and beautiful as always, coat billowing behind him with his long strides. You swallowed thickly.

Were his lips a little redder than usual? His hair a little messier?

You could still remember the strands between your fingers…

You had to lower your gaze, lest you might do something embarrassing in front of his subjects.

“I don’t expect this to be a long visit”, he informed his librarian, who nodded and bid you farewell, disappearing from the room again. He hadn’t even acknowledged your presence.

“Here we go again”, Matthew called as his master grabbed his pouch and took a stance beside you, his arm nearly brushing your shoulder, but still not looking at your curious gaze.

How was he going to act, now that everything had changed, you wondered.

He tipped the pouch, letting sand pour out. Like the last time, the sands rose around you, swirling your hair around and making it impossible to see much at all.

In the midst of it all, cold fingers suddenly touched the inside of your wrist lightly, sliding over your skin. The touch left goose bumps in its wake. His fingers moved over your palm until he interlaced them with yours.

You looked up, squinting against the sand surrounding you.

You gazes met. The look in his blue eyes made your knees weak. You had no idea that someone could convey that much passion with one look alone.

It was probably for the best if you wouldn’t look at each other in the presence of others.

He tore his eyes away just as the sand started to settle. “Come”, he said quietly, not letting go off your hand.

Matthew landed back on your shoulder quietly. If he found it strange that Morpheus was holding your hand again today, he didn’t comment on it.

Just like the day – or the night? – before, you followed the damned. As you neared the gate, Morpheus started to slow down, carefully stepping over the border that you hadn’t been able to cross before. You were met with no resistance this time.

You exchanged another round of heated looks, but tore away quickly as your face flushed.

Thankfully, Matthew kept his beak shut.

At the closed gate of hell, a crumbled creature that seemed to be fused with the wall handed Morpheus a mallet. He let go of your hand to take it and accepted it, hitting the provided gong with it.

You shivered as the sound echoed over the plains of hell. Taking up stance in front of you, he shielded you with his body, just allowing you to peek over his shoulder  

“Do not be afraid”, he whispered as he looked at you from the corner of his eyes.

Heart in your throat, you nodded and fisted your hands into the back of his coat, trying to find comfort in the familiar material.

Heavy footsteps neared the gate, their weight shaking the earth beneath your feet.

“At the door there are three”, a deep voice sounded eerily from a nearing shadow. “At the door there are three, seeking the gate of damnation. Will they bent, kneel or flee? At the door there are three, which I can see, will cause quite the vexation.”

A giant, demonic creature came to a halt on the other side of the gate, towering even over Morpheus tall form.

You were glad that your hands held on to Morpheus for dear life, so that he could not see you shaking.

“I greet you, Squatterbloat”, Morpheus said evenly. “You know of the audience I seek.”

“I see your entourage, little King”, the demon bared its ugly teeth. “So, who did you bring?”

“At my side stand my loyal raven and witness, who are under my protection and care”, Morpheus declared and Matthew stretched his wings proudly on your shoulder.

The demon’s dark eyes landed on you. “Tell me, Lord of Dreams”, he inquired, “to what does your care extent?”

You swallowed, fearing that the creature might look into your very soul. Had you really struck a deal with one of these things? No wonder everyone in the Dreaming had been so surprised.

“Keep to your own affairs, demon”, Morpheus bit back, glaring at the demon with cold eyes. “Now, will you risk my fury, or let me bring my witness before the infernal jury?”

The demon scowled, but unlocked the gate and took a step back as it swung open.

“Now”, Morpheus continued before stepping forward. “This time, you will lead us directly to your master’s palace.”

The demon turned away, chanting all the while “At the door there are three, at the door there are three”.

You started moving again, with you having to hurry to match Morpheus long strides, one hand still holding on to his coat. You realised how he carried himself differently in this realm.

He stood straighter, his steps certain and his eyes like ice. Here, he truly was a monarch.

You shivered, not able to comprehend what that very monarch had done with you a mere hour before.

The march seemed endless and you all remained in silence.

At one point, you passed a number of high towers, almost resembling giant anthills. Both Morpheus and Matthew’s gazes seemed to be drawn to one of the towers and your eyes followed them, but saw nothing. Steadily, you trudged behind Squatterbloat’s imposing figure.

“What’s up there, Matthew?”, you finally asked.

“Nothing of interest to you”, Morpheus answered coldly in his raven’s stead.

The demon chuckled darkly in front of you and you pressed your lips together in anger, finally letting go off the coat with disappointment. If Morpheus noticed, he didn’t react.

Next you passed a number of crosses of all shapes and sizes, fog hanging tensely in the air. The sky in the distance seemed to be streaked with flames. Suddenly, Squatterbloat stopped, turned around and passed your group, making his way back.

You followed the demon with confused eyes, almost not noticing that Morpheus kept walking. You hurried to catch up, just know starting to see the giant palace in the distance.

Dread filled you. You were almost at your goal.

A winding bridge let to the gate adorned with a flaming pentagram. As the gate opened seemingly on its own, blood started to sprout from the ground, forcing you to take a step back.

Morpheus followed your movements from the corner of his eyes. “Come”, he commanded coldly and led the way inside.

After a number of stairs and halls made up of human remains, you finally reached a portico which seemed to overlook the inner workings of the palace. In the middle of the room burned a fire, illuminating the imposing outline of an angel with dark wings, body clad in silken red robes.

“My sweet Dream”, the creature, whom you could only guess was the devil themselves, greeted in the softest voice you had ever heard.

Stepping away from the light, you could take in their golden locks and rosy cheeks, barely containing your surprise at the pretty face.

“I greet you, Lucifer Morningstar”, Morpheus said calmly. He gestured for you to walk up to him, face bare of any emotions. “I am afraid I have not brought much time for pleasantries.”

“I must admit”, Lucifer started, rounding your little group slowly, “I am surprised to see you visit our realm again so soon. Did you change your mind on us joining forces after all?”

“My answer to that remains unchanged”, Morpheus replied. “I merely wish to settle an unpleasant affair.”

“Of course”, Lucifer smiled gently. “So let us hear of your… desire.” Their eyes settled on your face, feeling like a physical weight on your shoulders.

“A creation I have entrusted in your custody has used my imprisonment to misuse its powers”, Morpheus explained. “I wish to put a stop to it.”

“Ah, yes”, the fallen angel nodded gently. “Do you happen to remember the creature’s name? I cannot seem to recall.”

Morpheus smiled smugly, understanding the game that was being played all too well. “It entered your realm as a Somnioportator, but seems to has changed itself into a Somniomercator.”

Lucifer nodded, sweet smile never leaving their face. “Of course”, lifting their hand slowly, two other creatures entered.

One seemed female, covered in armour and one side of her face burned off in a horrible manner, the other was a scrawny little demon.

“I greet you as well, Mazikeen”, Morpheus said.

The woman nodded in acknowledgement.

“And you bring proof of your accusation, I see”, Lucifer stretched out their hand, gracing your jaw with their fingers. You tensed visibly, teeth grinding together.

“I have”, Morpheus answered, voice sounding just a little more strained than before. “She is my witness of the Somniomercator’s doings.”

The Morningstar nodded as they kept staring at you. “Yes, the girl who cheated the system oh so cleverly. Tell me, sweet Morpheus”, they turned back to the King of Dreams, “does she impress you as much as she impresses us?”

“Will you grant me the authority to regain the creation I have entrusted to you, Lightbringer?”, he asked, as if there had never been a question asked.

“Of course”, Lucifer laughed gently. “That is well within your rights.”

“Oh, no”, Matthew whispered in your ear. “That was way too easy. Something’s up.”

Morpheus stretched his hand out towards the creature, which started to grow restless.

The woman – Mazikeen – gripped it by the throat and forced it to stay still. Slowly, the Somniomercator seemed to dissolve into small grains of sands that swirled around Morpheus’ fingers.

And within the blink of an eye, it was gone.

You frowned. That was all? That seemed kind of anticlimactic to you, considering all the trouble that demon had caused.  

“My dear Dream”, Lucifer started again, taking up stance right in front of Morpheus. “I would ask you a favour, now that this ugly business is settled.”

Morpheus did not seem too keen at the prospect, but obviously did not want to insult the other ruler. “What is it, then?”

“Another challenge.”

Matthew croaked. “I knew it.”

“I have no desire to compete with you, Morningstar”, Morpheus replied coldly. “There is nothing within your domain I wish to fight you for.”

“I do not wish to set any terms”, Lucifer explained lightly. “I merely ask for a sparring match. Just an exchange of thought, if you will.”

Morpheus ground his teeth together, hesitating. “Fine”, he finally gritted out. “We will spar then, and nothing more.”

“Since there is no challenge pending, will you let me take the first move?”

Morpheus nodded.

“What is happening?”, you asked Matthew quietly.

“That’s kinda hard to explain”, he whispered back. “Just, look.”

“I am”, Lucifer started and their piercing eyes settled back on you, “a Coma. Body paralyzing, soul imprisoning.”

Your sight was taken from you, as if you no longer stood in the palace of hell, but at your father’s hospital bed right after the accident, his body twisted and broken. You felt your throat closing up, eyes burning with unshed tears. Was this your memory or an enforced vision?

Or was it both?

Morpheus smiled at his opponent. “I am a Dream. Soul freeing, coma breaking.”

Memories washed over you of your father’s dream, your younger version laughing in your father’s arms. And then another memory, of the way Morpheus had carried you so gently away from your sorrow.

Lucifer flexed their wings. “I am Regret. Dream darkening, happiness suppressing.”

“I am Acceptance”, Morpheus shot back. “Mistakes recognizing, regret welcoming.”

“I am pain. Acceptance denying, heart oppressing.”

“I am time. Pain reducing, inner wounds healing.”

The Lightbringer smiled darkly. “I am Grief. Time denying, inner light bereaving.”

You gasped. Nada has caused you much grief, you said somewhere far away in a dream.  

Morpheus’ stance widened, shoulder’s tensing. “I am… Love.”

Your heart beat faster in your chest.

“Grief relativizing, heart freeing.”

Lucifer sneered. “I am Rage. Love distorting, defiance punishing.”

Morpheus flinched, turning his face away, overcome by his own memories. After a long while of silent heartbeats, he turned back to his opponent. “I am Forgiveness –“

Before he could finish, Lucifer laughed. “Oh, my dear, sweet Dream”, they said, laughter bright as a bell. “I believe this match has not turned in your favour. After all…”, their smile was directed at you. “I do have a witness as well, who could testify, that forgiveness does not quell the rage over your defied love.”

Morpheus curled his hands into fists, face remaining impassive. “Our business is settled then.”

“So it seems”, Lucifer nodded. “You may leave…”

Morpheus turned back to you, commanding you with a head tilt to follow close behind.

“Except for the mortal, of course”, Lucifer added.

You yelped in pain as the hand of Mazikeen closed around your arm in an iron grip that was sure to leave bruises.

“What?”, Morpheus sneered. “What game are you playing, Morningstar?”

“Game?”, the Lightbringer raised their brows innocently. “I am merely adhering to the rules and protocols of my realm. No mortal may leave hell, whether it has died or not.”

Your face paled as Matthew flew from your shoulder, croaking loudly in protest.

With two long strides, Morpheus was by your side, black eyes flashing at Mazikeen. “Let her go.”

Lucifer nodded at their servant, who released you.

Your legs almost gave out as the unwanted support left, and you stumbled into Morpheus. His hands closed around your elbows, righting you gently.

“You can’t leave me here”, you whispered, eyes round with fear. God, you were about to cry in front of the ruler of hell themselves. Fighting the urge to throw yourself into his arms, you pressed your lips together firmly.

“I will not”, Morpheus replied just as quietly, eyes softening as they took in your unshed tears. “I swore it.”

“As you know, honourable Morpheus, protocols have to be obeyed”, Lucifer chimed in from the background.  

You began to shake. Morpheus however calmly lifted one of his hands in front of your face. He held a small amount of his sand, that seemed to have come out of nowhere. “Take a deep breath.”

Blinking at him in confusion, you breathed in sharply as he blew the sand in your face.

Weirdly enough, it did not scratch your throat or itch in your eyes, it simply made you sneeze.

“I have bestowed some of my magic on her”, Morpheus said as he turned back to Lucifer. “As for now, she is partly a creation of mine and therefore a subject of my realm. You have no dominion over her.”

“Partly a creation of yours”, Lucifer repeated sharply. “She remains mortal.”

It felt as if all air had been sucked out of the room while the sovereign rulers held a stare-off.

Suddenly, Lucifer laughed lightly. “I guess on such a day as this, we can let this loophole stand. Farewell, my sweet Morpheus. Enjoy your mortal.”

_________________________

With Morpheus hand still around your elbow, he dragged you down the path you had come from at a breakneck pace. You stumbled behind him, having a hard time keeping up.

“Boss”, Matthew called as he flew above your heads. “Is it true that she is your subject now too?”

“As I said, for now”, Morpheus said, not slowing down his hurried steps. He ran as if he was worried the Lightbringer might change their mind at any moment and still hold you back. “As long as the sand remains inside her, she holds a small part of my magic. So small that she will not even feel it. But I can remove it at any time.”

Your boot caught on a rock, almost falling forward. You were still wondering why Lucifer had let you leave if technically, they could have forced you to stay.

They didn’t seem like the person to pass up an opportunity to cause misery.

“Come on”, Morpheus hissed as he dragged you forward.

Just as you left the gates of hell behind you and Morpheus could bring you back to his throne room with his sand, did some of the tension seem to leave his shoulders.

“Leave us”, he commanded Matthew, who gave a disgruntled reply as he flew away.

You still felt like you were still somewhat in shock, having a hard time to breathe and being almost as pale as Morpheus. You really didn’t feel any different from his sand.

You stared into nothingness until you felt the light touch of his fingers on your cheek bone. Just then did you blink back into reality.

As his gaze met your wide-eyed stare, he moved forward, taking your face in his hands again as if you were still the most fragile thing in his kingdom.

A sob you didn’t know you had been holding and you wound your arms around his middle, hugging him as closely as you could. There had been a faraway look in his eyes, as if he was contemplating something with all his attention.

“I need to tell you…”, he started then, but didn’t finish.

“What?”, you whispered against the fabric over his chest.

“With the Somniomercator gone, your deal is void. From now on, you won’t be able to locate your door and leave your own dreams.”

You tensed in his arms. That seemed like the kind of information you would have liked to have beforehand. “But –“

He interrupted you by pressing his thumb to your lips and shaking his head slightly. “Your night has almost ended.”

“Oh”, you made. “When… when I can no longer leave on my own, will you bring me here? Or visit me in my dreams?” Hope and affection burned brightly in your eyes.

You couldn’t read the look on his face as he leaned forward to press his lips to your forehead. You closed your eyes as you relished in the sensation of the kiss and his arms around you, trying to enjoy the last moments of this dream.  

“Morpheus?”, you pressed on. “Will you?”

His nose brushed your temple as he leaned down to answer you with a low whisper in your ear.

“This dream is over.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 8

Reditus

Morpheus was keenly aware of your consciousness drawing away from him, until you disappeared completely into the waking world.

It was as if he could still feel your cheeks beneath his fingertips and it took him a moment to lower his hands. His heart felt like a brittle and dry thing, having cracked open with your disappearance.

Somewhere in the waking world you were waking up. He could be there with nothing more but a thought. Be with you Pull you to him, hold you in his arms and kiss every inch of your skin.

He knew what was to come. What he would see in your dreams.

Your heartbreak was already so palpable, so close that he could almost taste it on his tongue. The disappointment, the anger.

The grief.

Briefly, he wondered whether you would also think that he had been worth it.

Willing the sting of tears behind his eyes away, he clenched his jaw angrily.

“My Lord”, Lucienne asked quietly from behind him.

Swallowing thickly, Morpheus regained the mask of a king. “Yes?”

“There have been some…irregularities around the realm.”

“Irregularities?”, he asked as he turned around with furrowed brows. “What kind of irregularities?”

“Similar to the seismic activity caused by the last vortex”, she explained. “Just much less strong. For now, the cracks have limited themselves to the area surrounding the gate of ivory and the frontiers of nightmares. Goldie has apparently gotten quite the scare when he almost fell into a crack.”

Morpheus nodded slowly. “I will concern myself with it as soon as possible.”

Lucienne nodded and then looked through the colourful windows over her king’s shoulder, noting the gathering rainclouds in the distance.

“Will our guest visit us again?”, she asked carefully.

Morpheus body seized up, shoulders stiffening, and he narrowed his eyes at the librarian, wondering just how observant she was.

Or how obvious he had been.

“No”, he answered finally, voice even.

“Oh”, Lucienne blinked in surprise. “Might I ask why?”

The king pressed his lips together, averting his eyes.

“Did something happen in hell?”, she gently pressed on.

“The Lightbringer simply reminded me of something I had forgotten”, he said darkly.

“My Lord –“

“That is all, Lucienne”, he dismissed quietly.

Nodding, Lucienne lowered her gaze and left for the library, closing the giant doors to the throne room behind her.

Sighing, Morpheus climbed the steps to his throne and let himself fall into the seat, burying his face in his hands.

If he would confuse his librarian, drench his kingdom in rain for months or even years, break you heart and his, it would be worth it just in order to keep you safe. It was still a miracle to him that nothing had happened after he had lost his restraint and relished in your body. It had been even more shocking that Morningstar had let you go on the terms of such a fragile technicality.

Even the laws of the universe had not struck down on you and him yet. He knew that Lucifer was out to destroy him and there was also still the dark promise Desire had made. There was too much danger surrounding his person.

Dangers that he had never spend more than a second thought about. He was an Endless after all, monarch of his own realm. Whatever game Desire wanted to play, whatever devious plan the Lightbringer had, he could handle it.

You, however, were nothing more than a mortal. Your body could be destroyed so easily or, even worse, your soul could be crushed, destroying your light and beautiful nature.

He could not risk that. He would not.

Rising back to his feet, he marched through his throne room, deciding to get back to his duties.

__________________________

You awoke with a start.

Panting heavily, feeling as if you had just been kicked out of an airplane mid-flight, you sat up in your bed. It was already light outside and your alarm clock told you that you were missing your first lecture. Groaning, you rubbed your hands over your face.

Had you just not been listening right or had he really kicked you out of the dream without answering your question?

No, he wouldn’t do that, right? Not after everything you had done together. Not after last night.

Not only had you lost your virginity to him, you had literally gone to hell for him, after all.

As if to remind you, the blanked surrounding you slid down a little, making you notice that you were still very naked.

Huh, you had fallen asleep on top of the blanket after… well. The thought that Morpheus had wrapped you in a blanket made your cheeks heat and your chest burn with warm affection.

Swinging your legs over the edge of the bed, you noted a distinct but not unpleasant soreness between your thighs. You wouldn’t mind doing that again, you realised.

Quickly putting on a pair of sweatpants and a shirt, you left your bedroom, trying to listen whether Mike was still home.

“Well, good morning, slut”, he greeted you cheekily as you attempted to sneak into the kitchen.

“What?”, you asked with an indignant expression. “Why are you not at work?”

He leaned against the kitchen counter, steaming cup of coffee in hand and smirking from ear to ear, like the Cheshire cat. “I decided to make a late start today”, he explained. “Couldn’t help myself, I needed to see you on this special morning.”

“What on earth are you talking about?”, you asked as you got yourself a cup from the cupboard.

“Well, I don’t wanna go into too much detail, but I heard certain…”, he did a fake cough, “passionate sounds last night that leave very little to the imagination.”

Your face flushed bright red. “Well…”, you mumbled.

“So?”, Mike asked, smile broadening. “Who was it?”

“Keep doing that and you’re gonna swallow your earlobes”, you spat at him. “And you know exactly who it was.”

“Great, good for you!”, Mike said proudly as he clapped you on the back, almost making you spill your coffee. “Did you do everything I told you to?”

You tried to think back on the advice Mike had given you. Face scrunched up in a thoughtful expression, you went through it. “Um, he did the… preparation you had advised…”, you mumbled.

“And the rest?”, Mike’s face fell slightly. “Please tell me you used protection.”

“I’m on the pill, you know that, Mike”, you replied in frustration. “And I’m like ninety-nine percent sure that he’s clean.”

“That’s one percent too little, fuck!”, Mike cursed. “Did he come inside you? Did you take that piss? UTIs are no joke, girl.”

You blew out an annoyed breath. “No, I fell asleep immediately.”

Mike snorted. “That good, huh? Bet you didn’t enjoy the mess you woke up in.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion. “Mess?”

“Yeah, you know, all that sperm leaking out of…”, his trailed off. “Oh, that means he cleaned you up afterwards. Well, that is cute at least.”

You tried to hide your grin against your mug, imagining Lord Morpheus with a washcloth in his hand to ensure your comfort.

“Right, next time, at least take the leak”, Mike said, motioning from his eyes to yours, in the I’m-keeping-an-eye-on-you manner. “I gotta go to work, have a good day, kid.”

You nodded absent-mindedly, wishing it would be night again already.

___________________________________

The first few nights you just thought that he was busy. Surely, his kingdom wasn’t reigning itself. Then you thought that he was maybe teasing you, in that absence-makes-the-heart-grow-fonder way.

After a week, your heart started to sink.

He had not answered you. He hadn’t given you any promises. But…

It was a very weird situation in general. What he had told you was true, there was no sign of your door or any other door while you slept. Your dreams were, however, still extremely lucid. You experienced everything, felt everything as if it was real and could remember everything the next morning as if you had indeed lived it.

Had that been part of the plan? Well, if the King of Dreams had truly intended to bail on you, probably not.

You couldn’t control your dream as easily as you had done before. Changing your clothes took a lot of concentration, changing the location seemed almost impossible. You could only make little changes. Like make up a butterfly, or changing the shape of a cloud.

Still, it was better than nothing. A couple of times you could have sworn that you saw stuff from his palace. A book, a window, a staircase. All where it wasn’t supposed to be: the book from his library was lying around on the edge of a swimming pool, the window appeared in your childhood bedroom and the staircase substituted the one that usually lead upstairs in your apartment building.

At first, you didn’t think much of it. Then, you realised that if you followed one of the objects, you would come across another.

And another.

And another.

You had hoped that you could somehow dream yourself right into his palace that way. Unfortunately, using this much attention and concentration on your dreams was incredibly draining, influencing your waking life. It was also very frustrating, because you never got far. The nights were too short and your abilities obviously not good enough.

For about two weeks or so after you figured out that he wasn’t coming back for you, you were just sad. Depressed even.

Mike did his duty as best friend, trying to trash talk as best as he could (which was hilarious, actually, since he knew almost nothing about Morpheus except for his appearance and you refused to go into detail about him), supplying you with ice cream and watching Titanic, Dirty Dancing and the likes of it on end.

And it worked. After that phase of depression came the anger.

And boy, were you angry. Fucking livid.

How dare he? How dare he drag you to hell, almost risking your soul to stay there forever. How dare he to take your virginity. How dare he even hold your hand if he had felt nothing for you this entire time. If he had intended to just let go of you like that.

You tried to dream even harder, with very little progress.

_________________________

Four months.

Four fucking months, and you were still not over it. You thought you had seen him from behind last month, but it had turned out to be just a goth kid from the local high school. Two weeks ago, a cute male nurse from your father’s nursing home had tried to ask you out, but you just couldn’t.

Because, and that was the worst part, what other guy would ever measure up?

What other guy would ever talk like that or look like that? Who else had this kind of quiet dignity, this sense for passion? Such a way with words or an even remotely similar small smile?

You kept trying in your dreams of course, which only made your grades drop even more and the bags underneath your eyes grow further.

Heart break was a bitch.

You were ripped from your thoughts by the bell above the door of the little book shop chiming. In stepped a stunning woman, with white-blonde hair falling down to her waist in glossy, straight strands and a black dress that hugged her in all the right places.

“Hello”, she said in a surprisingly deep but melodic voice.

“Hi”, you greeted her with a friendly smile and introduced yourself. “How can I help you?”

“Oh, I’m just taking a look around”, she explained in a singsong voice and stepped behind some book shelves.

You furrowed your brows as you watched her disappear, surprised that she hadn’t taken off her sunglasses.

After a couple of minutes, which you spent doodling on the piece of paper you had wanted to write a summary of that day’s lecture course on, a hand with perfectly manicured, long red nails appeared in your line of vision.

“Did you find anything?”, you asked with that typical retail friendliness.

“Well, I found you”, she laughed in a sultry manner.

“Me?”, you repeated in confusion.

Putting her elbows on your register counter, she leaned forwards, putting her chin in her hand and arching her back. “Are you alright, darling? You look a little…down?”

“Oh, I’m fine, thank you, miss”, you replied, smile wavering.

What the hell was wrong with her?

“Really?”, one of her perfect eyebrows arched over the rim of her sunglasses. “You seem sad to me. Is it lovesickness? Heartbroken? Over a brooding boy with wild dark hair and an affinity for black coats perhaps?”

You pen fell out of your hand.

“Who the fuck are you?”, you asked through clenched teeth. Another demon, maybe? Sent from Lucifer to annoy the ever-living daylights out of you because you got away?

“I am your little helper, you sweet little thing”, she said and reached forward, tapping the tip of your nose with her finger. All that was missing was that she said boop. “I just want you to get what you desire.”

“Ah, right, yeah, thank you very much”, you said as you closed your notebook vehemently, “but I don’t need your help. So, piss off, whoever you are.”

She laughed again, voice lowering, the sound seeming to bounce of the walls and thrumming through you in a threatening manner. “It’s not easy to find that throne room on your own, isn’t it?”

A cold shudder crawled down your spine. No, it truly wasn’t. You decided to remain silent.

Taking a silver ring off her finger, she placed it on the counter carefully.

You couldn’t help but stare at it. The ring had a grotesque mask as a motive, reminding you of the plague masks worn by medieval doctors, only that the snout-part was going downwards and looked… like a spine? The eyes were huge in relation to the rest of the mask, reminding you of a fly.

“If you truly desire to find yourself in that palace again, I would follow that sigil”, she lowered her sunglasses and stared at you with the most stunningly gold eyes you had ever seen. “At least that’s what I would do if I were you. Who knows…”, she reached out and her red nails danced over the back of your hand, making you shudder with a sense of dread and danger, “…you might even find your stubborn king.”

She winked at you, pushed her sunglasses back up and left the shop without taking her ring.

You blinked at the door for a moment in confusion, then stared back at the ring. Was that a trick? A cursed object, maybe?

You stared at the mask.

No, you had done enough stupid shit already. Making a deal with a demon. Letting Dream of the Endless fuck you. Going to hell voluntarily.

You pocketed the ring for now. After work, you took the bus in the opposite direction from home, threw the ring in a public trash bin and got back on the bus. It took you over an hour to get home, but you felt a silly sense of relief.

Whoever that woman had been, she didn’t seem trustworthy to you at all.

_________________________________

That night, you found a couple of books from his library again. To your surprise, one of them had that mask-sigil-thing on its spine.

Was this real or just something or subconscious had dreamt up, because your bump-in with that lady had kept your mind busy all evening?

You sat on the floor of your childhood bedroom as you opened the sigil-book at a random page. There was a picture of a beautiful meadow inside. You admired it for a few moments before looking up and finding yourself on that exact meadow.

Oh wow. Your dream had actually changed location.

Getting to your feet, you walked through the tall grass, plucking a couple of flowers as you went. After a while, you came across a small shed, hidden in the shadow of the surrounding rees. Curious, you went inside.

The inside of the shed looked a lot bigger and cleaner than the outside. And even better, it had a giant, colourful glass window. A familiar looking colourful window. Looking around, you dragged an old wooden table to the window and climbed on top of it, trying to find a way through the glass.

After pressing and probing for a while, you found the sigil engraved into the window frame. You pressed on it and the window clicked open, letting you climb through. Now you were in an empty hall, encircled by grey brick walls. At the end of the hall was a painting mounted to the wall.

Heart racing in your chest, you stepped closer.

This was the most exciting dream you had had in months.

You gasped as you realised that it was a painting of the library. Touching your fingers to the canvas you could feel the layered oil paints. On the right side of the painting, hidden between two shelves and a couple of stray books, you found a helmet which looked strikingly familiar to the sigil. You pressed your fingers over the spot of the helm and to your shock, your fingertips went right through the canvas. You pulled back in surprise, staring at your fingertips and back at the painting.

You touched one hand to the helmet again and pressed the other into a random spot of the painting, both hands going through. Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes and stepped through the frame.

Opening them again, you stood in Morpheus’ library. You could feel your pulse in your throat and your hands getting clammy. Was this real? Were you truly there?

In the distance, you could see Mervyn assembling a new book shelf, but before you could call out to him, your alarm went off.

You were getting closer.

________________________________

Morpheus pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to suppress a growl of frustration.

He sat in his throne room on the steps leading up to his sovereign seat, coat draped over the steps and books surrounding him.

There had been no more seismic activity, but he had not been able to remove the cracks that had been left behind. Which should not have been possible. He had created this entire realm, so why could he not fix it?

Lucienne and he had hoped to find answers in their books, but so far, they had found nothing. It was infuriating, worsening his already bad mood.

Reminders of you seemed to surround him these days. As if his realm itself had turned against him and wanted to torment him. More often than not, the colours of his windows would shift to the dress you had worn the night his passion had overwhelmed him, or the ceiling would show him an impression of your face.

He avoided your dreams of course. Not only did he not physically manifest in them, but he did not even dare to look inside them.

Part of him felt he could not bare to see your pain, your disappointment. Another part feared he might see that you had moved on. That you were not only happy, but might have found another man, another …

The giant door wings to his throne room were opened by a crack, suggesting to his subjects that he was available should they be in need for consultation or wish to make requests.

Now, however, he heard slight noises from the library, which soon seemed to grow into a tumult. Not yet rising from his seat but raising his gaze in suspicion, he forgot all about the book in his hands.

And then, as if all his worst fears and wildest desires had come true in that very moment, you crashed through the slightly opened door, out of breath and looking around with wide eyes. Behind you, Matthew flew into the throne room. After that, Morpheus could see Lucienne and Mervyn hurrying down the stairs.

You just stared at each other for a moment. Your chest was heaving, your hair looked wild and your eyes even wilder.

The book slipped from his hands and landed on the stairs with a loud thud. He was certain that his own wide-eyed stare mimicked yours. He was aware that his three subjects, who had in the meantime all made their way to the threshold, were staring at him and you intently.

But all words lodged in his throat and his legs seemed to be paralyzed.

You looked so beautiful. Even more enchanting than he had remembered. The stars above his throne had not done your face justice.

Your mouth opened and closed twice, as if you wanted to say something. Then you sucked in a sharp breath and turned on your heel, running for the library as fast as you could.

“Should I…?”, Matthew started. His master did not react, still rooted to the spot. Lucienne gave him a slight nod. “Yeah, okay, I’ll follow her.”

Flying away, Lucienne approached her king carefully while Mervyin closed the doors and waited outside.

“I apologize, my Lord”, Lucienne said, voice calm but eyes just as wide as his. “She came out of nowhere, and then she made her way down here…”

“It’s quite alright, Lucienne”, Morpheus finally found his voice, which sounded as if he hadn’t used it in years. He rose to his feet. “I will take care of it.”

_________________________________

Luckily for you, you were so fucking clumsy that during your escape from the throne room, you stumbled over a pile of books, causing you to fall face first into the floor.

As it tends to happen with dreams and falling, you jerked awake before your head actually hit the floor. Your heart was racing and you were covered in sweat. You had already heard the flaps of Matthew wings behind you and you had been irrationally afraid of the consequences of your actions.

As you had stepped through the painting you found yourself within the library. After a while of wandering around you had found Lucienne and Mervyn, talking quietly about some maintenance issue.

You had cleared your throat awkwardly, causing both of them to whirl around in surprise. Before you could even say anything or greet anyone, Merv had shaken his head and mumbled “oh dear”.

“I…”, Lucienne seemed lost for words for the first time since you had known her. “I will inform Lord Morpheus of your presence.”

And then all hell had broken loose. Because you had been afraid that, as soon as Lucienne would ‘inform Lord Morpheus’, he might kick you out with a simple this dream is over.

He could of course do that anyway, but you figured your chances were better if you had the element of surprise on your side. Unfortunately, you hadn’t figured out your chances for what exactly.

So, you had shouldered your way past Lucienne, ran down all the stairs that you could remember, got lost between bookshelves twice, almost had Matthew fly into your face and finally made your way to the throne room.

But to do what? He saw you, you saw him.

He had the audacity to look breath taking, lounging around on his stairs, his coat draped over the steps behind him in the coolest way you had ever seen, and your brain completely malfunctioned.

You had wanted to say a lot of stuff, sure. But you were angry, relieved, sad and weirdly happy to see him, all these emotions crashing down on you with such a vehemence that you feared you might spontaneously combust.

There was a lot you wanted to say. A list, you should have made a list. Yes, a mental list! Preferably, before actually having the conversation and not the thing you usually did, namely: repeating conversations hours later in the shower, imagining what you should have said.

You suddenly couldn’t bare it anymore. The tension, the people at your back, his blue eyes staring at yours. The stupid book that had dropped from his hands.

So, you had made a run for it. And now you sat in bed, wondering what kind of mayhem you might have left behind. A humourless laugh escaped you

Good, he deserved to be fucking thrown off by you. He had thrown your entire world off its axis, after all.

You wondered briefly whether he would explain anything to the other guys. To Lucienne or Matthew, perhaps?

Shaking your head angrily, you got out of bed. Focus! You had a list to make.

_________________________________

“Alright, you royal jackass”, you announced yourself the next night.

Dreaming your way into his palace again had been surprisingly easy, now that you knew how to do it.

You had found Morpheus in the library this time, bent over a number of books. Mervyn and Matthew were nowhere to be seen, but you were sure they weren’t far. You had bumped into Lucienne as you entered and apologized to her for your stunt last night. She had been nervous, obviously wanting to run to Morpheus again, but you had asked her what the deal with all the books was instead. She had told you that there were some disturbances in the realm, again, and said that they were looking for answers in the archives. You had offered with a friendly smile to help her go through some books, but said that you needed to take care of something else first. So, you knew that she must also be close by.

Didn’t matter. You didn’t care whether there would be an audience.

Morpheus straightened immediately as he heard your voice, turning around to face you. After you two held another mini small stare-off again, you took a deep breath.

He sighed and said your name quietly, as if this entire thing was extremely draining for him. Inconvenient.  

“No, you don’t get to talk yet”, you said as you raised a hand. “Talking is what you should have done after that fucking trip to hell we did. Do you remember? The one that almost ended with me being trapped there by Lucifer Morningstar for ever?” You could feel your anger rising with your voice. Good, you needed the gusto for this.

Morpheus looked around uncomfortably, before taking a step closer to you.

You took two steps back, raising your hands as if to keep him away. “Don’t you dare to this-dream-is-over me away again”, you hissed. “I’ll just come back until I have said my piece.”

His features twisted into anger as well and he lunged forward, grabbing your arm and teleporting you into his throne room, door firmly closed.

A sort of angry battle cry crawled up your throat as you pushed him away from you with your hands against his ridiculously firm chest. He didn’t stumble, of course, but he felt the impact of your intended force and let go off your arm with a surprised expression on his face.

“How dare you just zap me away? How dare you just touch me after everything you have done!?”, you cried out. “I should have never let you touch me in the first place! And how dare you send me to sleep immediately afterwards? Just like –“, you snapped your hand in the air, – “’thanks for the sex, off to work now’. Humans have to take care of stuff afterwards, you know? There’s fluids leaking and stuff and… and I should have gone to the bathroom and…”, fuck, his intense and somehow puzzled stare was making you lose focus. Remember the list!

“Urinal track infections are no joke, you know!”, you continued, gulping in large breaths to continue your tirade. “And then you dragged me down to hell, acting like a complete asshole half the time we were there. What was even in that tower that pissed you off so badly? Was it Nada?”

You saw him flinch, his posture tightening up further, jaw clenching. He didn’t say a word, you had to give it to him. At least he let you talk.

“Ah, so that’s what it was”, you said in a derogatory voice. “It’s not my fault that she’s fucking trapped there. You have no one to blame but yourself for that. You have no one to blame but yourself for any of this. And then you just throw out that I can’t dream myself around anymore? Could you not have warned me at least? If you are such an honourable king, you could have at least had the guts to be honest when I asked you to see me again.” Fuck, your emotions were getting the better of you and you were about to cry.

“You…”, you took another sharp breath, trying to bite back the tears. “…should have been honest. Said that you didn’t want me that way. Especially as someone who had himself to deal with so much heartbreak in his life. Because – because what we did… it made me fucking feel something, okay? And when you just left me to my own dreams, that was really painful. It fucking hurt.” The tears were gathering in your eyes now and you could see the anger slowly leaving his.

“Of all people, I would have expected you to understand how hurtful that kind of rejection is”, great, tears were flowing now and he took another step closer to you. You shook your head vehemently, stopping him.

“Did you… did you take my virginity just to make sure I can go enter hell?”, the question had just dawned on you. It hadn’t even been on your list, you hadn’t thought about it before. A pained gasp left you. “Was it just to fix your kingdom? A means to an end?”

“No”, Morpheus pressed out, pained eyes searching yours. “No, I –“

“I told you!”, you yelled. “I told you I was worried that I might lose it to some asshole and hate myself afterwards. How could you do this to me? How could you –“, you sobbed, wrapping your arms around your middle in pain. “How could you…”

You gasped again, a sharp pain shooting from your heart through your chest. This was worse than you had anticipated. Seeing him had literally opened the flood gates on all your emotions, not just the anger, but all that sadness and pain you had suppressed.

A tiny wail left you as you tried to wipe the snot from your nose without looking too unflattering.

“It was never my intention to hurt you”, Morpheus said quietly, reaching his hand out to you, without touching. “I just wanted to keep you safe.”

You looked up at him through wet lashes and saw…

Tears in his eyes? Oh, damn no, he had no right to be sad. To be hurt.

“Fuck your intentions! You have ruined my entire life. Fuck your fucking intentions!”, you spat and uncrossed your arms. You hiccupped slightly through your tears as you tried to regain your composure. “Now, if you would excuse me, I promised Lucienne to help with some books.”

____________________________________________

If his heart had felt like a brittle and dry thing before, a thing that had been cracked or broken in half, it felt now as if it had been crushed. Crushed between your small, slender fingers, into a million pieces, drenched in your tears.

You did not go back to Lucienne that night. Instead, you found yourself a remote corner in the library and cried and sobbed until you woke up. No matter where he went in his realm that night, he could feel your tears as if they were falling from his eyes.

He had expected you to be angry at the way he had left you behind. Had expected your sadness that he had left you behind at all. Maybe even expected the accusation that he should have known that the Lightbringer would try and trap you, even though that had not been his fault per se.

He had not expected you to figure out so quickly that you had passed Nada’s tower in hell. To see so cleverly through him.

You have no one to blame but yourself for that.

The worst, however, had been your accusation that he might have shared a bed with you only to fulfil the bargain to allow you access into hell.

He could and would not blame himself for trying to keep you safe. It was the honourable thing to do. The right thing. He did however feel the pain over his shortcomings concerning your feelings all too distinctly.

He had desired you. Had been consumed by the need to touch you, feel you, almost immediately since he had met you. How could his intentions have been so veiled? How could you not have seen the passion that had plagued him for you so long? The need to hold and to have you? Had he truly been that treacherous? That deceptive?

A hundred years in captivity he would have preferred to seeing you cry because of his foolishness.

______________________________

You did return and he did not know how. It should not have been possible in the first place.

He did not have the heart to send you away, even though he could have. He wanted to speak to you, but you avoided him quite successfully, surrounding yourself with Lucienne, Mervyn and Matthew, ensuring that he could not find you to talk intimately.  

Lucienne, ever the loyal servant, would have left your side as soon as he came near, but Mervyn and Matthew had developed a surprising partiality towards you, especially Matthew. He wondered whether they had eavesdropped on your confrontation. When you did not dismiss the raven, he would not go.

Annoyingly, it felt as if he might be losing control over his own palace staff. You were torturing him intentionally, he came to realize. You had taken up to helping Lucienne in her research to find out what the sources of the seismic activities had been, despite the fact that you did not know what to look for.

You entered his realm every night, sitting cross legged on the tables of his library, surrounded by his books. Though, most of the time, you did not read or research, you simply joked around with Matthew and Mervyn, your laughter echoing through the entire palace, as if his presence was of no consequence to you at all.

Morpheus was not sure whether the prospect of your tears or your indifference was worse to bare.

When he could endure it no longer, he set out to find you, which was not hard. Matthew had been telling you a joke in that Christopher-Walken-voice, as you called it, and you were laughing so hard that the occasional snort left your nose. As soon as he came into view of the section of the library you were currently occupying, Lucienne fled, lowering her gaze in humility.

Your laughter died completely in your throat as you saw him, face growing sinister. Both Matthew and Mervyn turned around to see what the cause for your change in mood had been.

“A word”, Morpheus declared, eyes trained on your apathetic face, “in private.”

Neither of his subjects moved.

Morpheus’ eyes darkened to stars upon a black galaxy, the library’s contours surrounding his person disappearing into darkness. If they would not obey him, he was fully prepared to disembody them for now and re-create them later.

He was still the master in this realm and would not be usurped by a mortal girl, no matter how fond he was of you.

Matthew and Mervyn felt the change in his demeanor, maybe even guessed his intention, and left quickly, both sending you apologizing looks. Finally alone, his dark gaze was directed back at you.

He had intended to tell you of his reasoning in keeping you away from his palace. The risks behind Lucifer and his siblings and his budding feelings for you. He had wanted to make you understand his motifs. To make you see his side and to understand.

But as you stared back at him and then grabbed a book from the pile, turning around and sitting on the table with your back to him – such an open act of defiance – he realised that he did not need you to understand.

He just needed you to forgive him.

Chapter Text

Chapter 9

Acta Veniae

You were being stupid, you knew that. Petty, sullen and silly.

You had said your piece, surely he deserved to speak too?

During the nights you spent in his palace you practiced your new skills. Somehow, being surrounded by all this dream magic had given you back even more control over your own dreams. Despite the fact that time passed differently in the dreaming in relation to the waking world, you had learned to feel how far the night had progressed in the waking world. How much of the night was left.

You had also started to practice waking yourself up. When the night was coming to an end, you would enter a more remote corner of the library and concentrate on your sleeping body. Your breathing. The feeling of the blanket’s weight on top of you. The mattress at your back. The slowly rising sun you could feel warmly on your skin. And then you could gently pop back into your body.

No over-dramatic “this dream is over” required.

After his last attempt to talk to you, Morpheus did not try again for days and you were starting to get nervous. You were sure that he could easily find a way to prohibit you from dreaming yourself into his palace (which you could now do without the scavenger hunt after those sigils). And then this entire adventure would be over for once and for all.

Despite your anger and pain, you did not want things to end between the two of you like this.

And there was something else that you still needed to do. Something that you would have done sooner, had you known that you could no longer access the corridor after the demon business was settled.

So, you took all the pride you could scrape from the bottom of your broken heart and went to see the King of Dreams in his throne room. He was sitting on top is throne, chin held up by one hand while the other turned the pages of the book in his lap. Even though you were pretty sure that he had felt you enter, the thoughtful expression on his face and attention to the book remained.

Pressing your lips firmly together, you took a deep breath through your nose. “I have a request, Lord Morpheus.”

He lifted his head, eyebrows raised as he looked at you. “A request?”

Under his scrutinizing gaze from that stupidly high throne, you felt small. And oddly insignificant. “More like a favour to ask, really”, you admitted.

“Very well”, he closed the book. “As a subject in my realm that is…”, his voice trailed off, eyes widening suddenly.

“What?”, you asked, nerves getting the better of you.

He shook his head slightly. “As a subject in my realm making a request is surely within your rights.”

Yes, granting the request is probably more of a problem, you thought grimly.

“I…”, you wrung your hands together. “Since I no longer have access to the corridor and other dream doors, I wanted to ask you to let me see my father.”

His expression softened immediately.

“I didn’t have a chance to do that, before…”, you left the rest of the sentence hang in the air. What were you supposed to say, really? Before we went to hell the first time, you took my virginity and rocked my world and then we made trip to hell number two already.

“Of course”, he said as he stood up and proceeded down the stairs. “I would bring you into the dream directly.” He held his hand out to you. If that is what you want, his eyes added.

You swallowed painfully. Okay, you thought as you put your hand in his. Upon touching his cold skin, you were drowned by a million memories. Beautiful, painful and erotic memories.

Your eyes closed by themselves and in the next moment you stood in the middle of the landing bridge in your father’s dream. Your dad was already sitting at the end, fishing rod in hand. The younger version of you was nowhere to be seen.

Morpheus let go of your hand and you turned to him. His eyes trailed down your body and you followed his gaze, noticing that he had changed you into a beautiful white summer dress, matching the scenery.

“Oh, thank you”, you mumbled.

“I will leave you to it”, he replied stiffly and vanished as soon as you turned away.

You took off your shoes and went down the landing bridge, sitting down next to the waiting figure.

“Hi, dad”, you said quietly as you looked at him.

“Hey, honey”, he smiled at you and tears immediately stood in your eyes. It had been so long since he had looked at you and recognized you.

So long since you had seen him smile.

His face twisted in surprise and he put the rod down. “What’s wrong, honey?”, he asked suddenly, enveloping you in one of his customary bear hugs.

You couldn’t help but to start full-on sobbing. “I just miss you so much”, you cried against his shoulder.

“Miss me?”, he asked and laughed lightly. “But I’m right here.”

You raised your face, looking at him. And in the moment your eyes met, it was as if the veil was lifted from his eyes and he knew everything.

“Oh”, he said quietly. “Yes, I miss you too.” His hand pushed the hair from your forehead and his smile turned sad. “My little girl. When did you become so grown-up? Where has all the time gone?”

“I don’t know”, you whispered.

“I’m afraid I am all out of time now”, he mumbled as he stared over the lake and into the blinding sun.

Another sob escaped you. “This is so unfair.”

“I know, I know”, he nodded slowly.

Silence followed.

“There’s more on your mind, I can see that, pumpkin”, he said, poking your forehead with a gentle smile.

“I just…”, you sighed, tears still following. “I can’t do this, dad. I can’t do this on my own. I feel like I have made all the wrong choices lately. I’ve been so stupid and now…”, you shook your head angrily.

“Oh, honey”, he said as he put an arm around your shoulder. “We all make mistakes. That’s in our nature. To go down the wrong path and land somewhere unexpected. Somewhere we never wanted to be. To get beaten around by life. The beauty behind it is to make sense of all this mess and find your happiness within it.”

You nodded slowly. “It’s just been really hard to make sense of the mess lately”, you whispered.

“I know”, he stroked your hair gently. “Do me a favour, will you, pumpkin? Don’t let life drag you down. Don’t let your mum bully you or anyone else. And something else: you don’t need to come visit me everyday. Not in that hospital bed and not at my grave when I’m dead.”

“Dad”, you whined, new sobs coming. “Don’t say that.”

“It is true”, he laughed. “It is not necessary. I won’t be there. It is enough for me when you think of me from time to time. Tell stories about me. And when you think or talk about me, don’t be sad. Speak of me in the easy way you always used. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes. Call me by the old familiar name. I am the one I always was and you are the one you always were. Once I am gone, the life I lived remains unchanged. So why should you change your tone when you speak about me? Please, don’t wear a forced tone of solemnity. All will be well.”

Tears were streaming down your face as you felt that your father was saying goodbye. Quietly crying, you leaned your head against his shoulder once more.

“And whatever is plaguing you at the moment will be okay too. Do you hear me, pumpkin? You will be okay. Everything will be okay.”

Everything will be okay.

______________________________

“Lucienne”, Morpheus said as he entered the library after dropping you off in your father dream.

“Yes, my Lord?”, Lucienne stepped forward and followed him when he made for his throne room with long strides.

“I have to make another journey”, he explained as they entered. “I hope for it to be a short affair, but I cannot be certain concerning these things. I entrust the kingdom to you in my absence.”

“What things, my Lord?”, Lucienne asked in confusion. “Where are you going?”

Already pouring his sand around his form, he replied “to hell”.

He could still hear Lucienne’s surprised “again?”, from the distance, but then he was gone.

Convincing Lucifer to release Nada had been a much more intricate affair than reclaiming his rogue creation. The Lightbringer had been far from pleased with Morpheus’ decision, but – since it was him who had condemned Nada – it was also his right to release her.

Squatterbloat opened the gate with angry huffs as Morpheus stepped forward on the path. The demon let the stray soul pass and immediately closed the gate again, as if he was fearful of other illicit souls leaving hell with her.

“Is it true?”, Nada asked with tears in her eyes as she walked towards him. “Have you forgiven me, Dream Lord?”

“Yes, Nada”, Morpheus confirmed with a slight, if sad smile on his face. “You are free to choose your place.”

Nada’s face crumbled in fear. “Forgive me, Lord”, she whispered, tears running down her face. “But I cannot rule by your side. I… I have…”

“And neither would I ask you to, Nada”, Morpheus explained gently. “Even though a part of me will always love you, I do not renew my proposal.”

“Oh”, there was a distant spark in Nada’s eyes, the recognition of a change he had gone through. “Thank you, my Lord.”

“I would merely ask for your forgiveness in return”, he continued. “For all of my failings towards you.” His shoulders stiffened. This was not a feeling he was used to, to be reliant on the mercy of others, especially those he had once punished.

He felt, however, within this brittle and dry thing that his heart had become, that he needed to free Nada and for her to free him, so that he could shed himself of this guilt at last.

A soft expression crossed her beautiful face as she looked at the uncomfortable expression the King of Dreams wore. “Of course, Kai’ckul. And I will pray that whoever you choose to be your Queen will choose you in return.”

He ducked his head in a graceful bow, hiding the pain that stung beneath his left ribs at her words. “Thank you, Nada.” He lifted his gaze back to her eyes. “The way to the sunless lands is long and hard. I wish you the best of fortunes. Farewell, Queen of the City where Man began.”

“Farewell, King of Dreams.”

______________________________

Morpheus was surprised to find you back at the library close to the end of the night. He had assumed that you would remain in your father’s dream until dawn broke.

He had, to be completely honest, not expected you to be capable of leaving your father’s dream and returning to the palace on your own. But then again, he had also not expected you to be able to enter his palace unaided in the first place.

Which reminded him of the realisation he had had earlier: he had never reclaimed his sand and thereby his power from your body. Your lucid dreams, your ability to manipulate dreams and to travel through them had to stem from a combination of your prior experience due to the demonic pact and the remains of his magic that still coursed through your veins.

Nevertheless, your skills were impressing. For a moment, he allowed himself to be curious how much you could learn if he were to bestow more of it upon you. But that was simply impossible. You could not remain a subject in his realm forever. You had to return to the waking world and stay there, for your own safety.

He found you sitting at the foot of one of the more remote spiral staircases in the library. Your feet were planted on one of the lower steps, legs bent and hugged by your arms, your chin resting on top of your knees. You still wore the sundress he had gifted to you and your eyes were red-rimmed. You had obviously made your farewell with your father.

Taking a deep breath, Morpheus stepped forward and took up stance in front of you.

“You can say whatever you have to say now”, you whispered, not lifting your head from your knees, staring at his legs instead of his face. “I will listen to whatever you need to say.”

Morpheus went down on one knee in front of you and ducked his head down. “I only wish to speak one thing to you. A request, to be fair”, he raised his gaze and looked into your eyes. “Will you forgive me?”

__________________________

You blinked at him in surprise. Not only was the proud King of Dreams and Nightmares kneeling in front of you, but he was also asking for your forgiveness.

“Forgive you?”, you repeated, still dumbfounded.

“Yes”, Morpheus nodded. “For the pain and suffering I have caused you.”

“I…”, you hesitated, not quite knowing what to say. “I want to hear your reasons first. Your… intentions.”

His mouth twitched as he remembered your passionate outburst. Fuck your fucking intentions!

“I wanted to keep you safe”, he explained. “The Lightbringer as well as some of my siblings play twisted games. So, you see, for you to be affiliated with me is dangerous for more reasons than just the rules I have to adhere to as an Endless.”

You furrowed your brows. “The most I know of the Endless, I heard from Mervyn. You never told me much about your siblings.”

“Nor do I intent to. I do not wish to burden you with my family affairs.”

“I burdened you with mine”, you blurted out before biting your lower lip. “But I guess that’s different. We are hardly equals. As made clear by those laws…”, you waved your hand around vaguely, “that you have to… ‘adhere to’.”

He nodded slightly.

“And by those laws you mean…?”, you probed, not quite sure what he was saying.

“That it is forbidden for an Endless to love a mortal”, he explained quietly, averting his gaze. “I told you that what Nada and I did was forbidden.”

You sucked in a sharp breath. “Do you mean that you…?”, you did not dare say it. It seemed too bold, even for the crazy situation you were in, to just ask someone whether they loved you.

“I am… infatuated with you”, Morpheus said, his eyes meeting yours again. You could see the fear in their blue depths and you understood. It was infatuation now, but what would it become?

“But the world did not end after we…”, you blushed instead of finishing the sentence.

He understood. “There was no world-encompassing calamity, yes”, he nodded. “I have to admit, I was myself surprised.”

Your lips twitched into a smile. “Maybe the universe has changed its mind about those stupid rules.”

He smiled at you in return. “Maybe.” Not that he would be willing to take any risks.

“As for your other accusation”, he took one of your wrists gently and pressed a kiss the back of your hand. “I have yearned for your body no matter the circumstances. Whether at the gates of hell or within the dream of your friend or the waking world, it has made no difference to me. It was you that I wanted.” He started kissing your knuckles. “At the thought of you giving yourself to another man I found myself unable to breath. To think. To exit”, he spoke, soft lips touching your skin with every word. “That is what compelled me into your room that night. And no form of obligation.”

You shuddered as he had finished with your knuckles and turned your hand around, pressing one last kiss into the palm. “I have lived for longer than your mind could comprehend and I will live until all mortal things have ceased to exist. And yet, I find myself unwilling to suffer another day without your forgiveness.” He pressed your palm to his cheek, leaning his face into your hand, as he closed his eyes. “So, I ask, will you forgive me?”

With tears in your eyes, you lifted your free hand and stroked his wild hair gently. Your father’s words were in your ears again.

You will be okay. Everything will be okay.

“Yes, Morpheus”, you whispered gently. “I forgive you.”   

Not removing himself from you just yet, he released a breath that sounded as if he had been holding it for years.

Unfolding your legs, you leaned closer to him slightly. “Why did you not speak to me before I woke up? You know, after we left hell? It could have made things so much easier.”

He shook his head against your hand before raising his head, your hand still in his hair. “It would have made nothing easier. I could not have endured it to reject you. Had you made me speak it, made me tell you what I told you now, I would have been unable to ever let you go. But I cannot keep you forever.”

Both of you closed your eyes as your forehead touched his, fingernails scratching his scalp, and you smiled gently when you felt him shiver. “Can’t you?”

His eyes opened again and he stared into your eyes. You could not read his expression.

And before you could try to figure him out you felt a tell-tale tug in your gut. Something inside you started to pull away.

“I have to go”, you whispered.

“I know”, he replied and felt your hands disappear from him.

___________________________________

“Gloria”, you called for the nurse’s attention as you left your father’s room. “I just wanted to let you know that I won’t be coming around as much anymore.”

“Oh, okay…”, she seemed surprised. You had come every other day for months after all.

“I just think I gotta get my mind back on track, you know”, you shrugged. “Concentrate on school. Friends. People who can actually answer when I talk to them.” You gave a sad smile.

Gloria returned your smile. “That’s alright, honey. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind at all.”

“Yeah”, you sighed heavily. “I know he won’t.”

“I’ll see you around then”, Gloria waved at you as you left.

The evening was chilly and humidity hung in the air, matching your gloomy mood. You decided not to take the bus and walked home, trying to enjoy the alone time. The quiet.

Too bad that your thoughts kept screaming at you.

“Hey!”, you called as you got home.

Mike was lounging on the couch with his new boyfriend Kevin – or, as you still called him: dream guy – and watching a movie.

“Hey, baby”, Mike replied, watching over his shoulder. “Wanna join us?”

“We have snacks!”, Kevin added.

“No, I’ll go to bed early. Still have a lot to do tonight”, you shrugged and yawned.

“You mean before you go to bed, right?”, Mike asked with a confused expression.

“Yeah, sure”, you mumbled and went into the bathroom to brush your teeth.

When you lied in bed, sleep wouldn’t come for quite a while. You knew why of course. You were nervous, but you had made your decision and were going to see it through.

So, you used one of your new skills and closed your eyes, imagining every detail you remembered about that remote corner in the library where the painting of a grey hallway hung. The books strewn about the place.

The old, solid wooden table.

The intricate chairs with the deep red upholstery.

The window behind the desk, between the bookcases.

The way the smell of old books lingered in the air.

The way the sun let the dust dance before your eyes.

And slowly but surely, you slid out of your body and into the realm of the Dream Lord.

Opening your eyes, you stared at the ceiling. You were lying in front of the painting on the floor, still on your back. Just now, from this position, did you see the sigil gleaming silvery on top of the painting’s frame. Of course, it was what had led you here after all.

You sat up and let the joints in your shoulders pop before jumping on your feet, realising that you wore the white dress from last night again.   

“So, this is it”, Morpheus’ voice said behind you and you jumped in surprise, heart beating in your throat.

“Will you ever stop doing that?”, you hissed, pressing a hand over your heart.

He ducked his head down with a small smile on his face as he strutted around the table with his hands crossed behind his back. He didn’t give you an answer.

“This is what?”, you asked then.

“The place through which you enter my realm uninvitedly”, he replied, looking at the paining with a thoughtful expression.

“Don’t worry, it’s the last time”, you mumbled as you averted your gaze.

From the corner of your eyes, you could see his head whirl around. “What?”, he asked and his surprise somehow surprised you in return.

“I…”, you swallowed thickly. “I’ve come to say goodbye.” You shrugged with a sheepish smile. “I wanted to work my way up, actually, starting with Lucienne and then Merv and Matthew and do you at the end but…”, you let the rest of the sentence hang in the air. Your plan was obviously void.

“Why?”, Morpheus asked with a thoughtful expression and furrowed brows.

“Seemed logical, you know, to start with the person that I spent the least time with and work myself to the top.”

He tilted his head sideways, squinting his eyes at you in a scolding manner. As if to say you know exactly what I meant.

You nodded slowly. “I thought this is what you wanted, to be honest”, you licked your lips nervously. “For me to leave you alone. So that I’d be safe. From devils and demons and siblings and the whole fucking universe.”

“Yes”, Morpheus whispered, gaze turning far away.

“So, I’ll leave you alone”, for a silly moment you thought about curtsying, but you knew that you would butcher that anyway.

Instead, you tried to bite back tears and reached out your hand towards him. A good old handshake would have to suffice. “Goodbye, Dream Lord”, your voice wavered slightly.

Morpheus stepped forward, taking your hand and another step forward, until he was standing right in front of you, forcing your arm to bend, and raised your hand to his lips. His fingers curled gently around yours as he kissed your knuckles. “Farewell, my little stray dreamer.”

You blinked at him, throat closing up. His little stray dreamer. The possessive made your heart beat faster.

Yeah, you had been through too much together for a handshake, you decided as you raised yourself to your tiptoes. Surely, the man who had taken your virginity and then had broken your heart a few hours later deserved at least a kiss on the cheek.

Morpheus’ eyes followed your every move, but your intention must have still surprised him. He jerked slightly when your lips touched his skin, forcing your kiss to land rather on the corner of his mouth than his cheek.

The feel of his skin against yours was just as electric as you had remembered. You lingered a moment, still feeling your hand in his, the hint of his lips beneath yours and his rapid pulse deep within your being.

You pulled back, not more than the quarter of an inch, your shaky exhale flowing over his skin. He turned his face as you pulled back further, his eyes staring into yours.

They were black and you got lost in the starlight for a moment. His tongue darted out to wet his lips.

And then, you couldn’t explain why, you stretched up again, planting your lips firmly against his.

You gasped and in the next moment his hands were in your hair, open mouths colliding again and again in a manner that you weren’t sure could even be classified as a kiss. Your back was pushed into a bookcase while you hadn’t even realised that you had moved at all, and you could hear some books fall to the floor with the impact.

His tongue touched your lower lip, then the tip of your tongue, the roof of your mouth before he let it curl around your tongue again. You moaned, body thrumming with heat. His hands moved down, one of them curling around your neck while the other pressed firmly between your shoulder blades. He tipped your head back gently, kissing your chin, then the soft spot between your jawbone and throat. You panted as his tongue dipped into the little hollow between your collarbones and you pressed out a timid “I’m sorry”.

You shouldn’t have kissed him. You had come her to say goodbye and not to do that. He had told you himself that he felt unable to let you go. Why make it harder?

You hadn’t come to seduce him.

Again.

“No”, he breathed against you throat vehemently, almost angrily.

You moaned again, knees feeling weak as the vibrations of his deep voice moved through your chest. Somehow, he managed to lift you up slightly, simply with the press of his hand on your back. Your feet dangled a couple of inches above the ground as he kissed your mouth again, drinking you in as if he was about to die of thirst.

Your trembling thighs spread slightly, the dress riding up between your bodies until his hips could slot between yours. It felt so right to press yourself against the hard length of him you could feel beneath his pants.

Yes, you kept thinking, God yes.

You wanted to do it again. You needed to do it again. To feel him inside you, to feel him move against you.

Morpheus groaned, hoisting you further up against his body with both hands beneath your ass. He thrust against you slightly, forcing an unflattering squeak from you as you bent down to kiss his neck.

He waited until you had wrapped your legs around him, shuddering as your tongue travelled over his pulse point, and turned around, taking a few steps and sitting you down on the tabletop.

You sucked on his neck gently, wondering whether he could even get hickeys. It was a tempting thought, for the white column of his neck to be red and blue with your kisses while he went around his daily, royal work.

This time it was he who started to apologize as he took your face into his hands, forcing you to look at him. “Forgive me”, he said, breathing heavily. “I should not –“

“No”, you repeated his outburst and pressed forward, licking into his mouth again.

You jolted in surprise as his cold hands landed on either of your thighs, rucking the skirt of your dress up and spreading them even further.

Next, he managed to hook his foot behind the leg of one of the chairs surrounding the table far more gracefully than any person should be able to and pulled it close, until he could sit down. One of his hands travelled down your leg, leaving goosebumps in its wake, until he gripped your calf and lifted it slightly. His head turned to the side and his lips pressed into the crook of your knee.

You began to shake as you realised how he was sitting. His head was at the height of your lower stomach, if he bent forward, he could…

You shuddered and gasped as his lips dragged upwards, kissing the inside of your thigh, head turning to kiss your other thigh as well. Your head rolled back as he opened his mouth to suck your flesh into his mouth, feeling his teeth against your skin.

“Oh”, you moaned as his hands left your legs to grip your waist, pulling you forward until your ass was just parched at the edge of the table. The skirt was piling around your waist, letting the cold wood touch your bare legs and butt.

You arched backwards, putting your weight on your arms as you threw your head to the side and stared at one of the bookcases.

A bookcase…

… because you were in a library.

“Wait!”, you hissed and had to bite your lip to keep from moaning as you felt his heavy breath hit your wet underwear. “We can’t… not here…”

Your arms trembled, about to give out under you, as his dark gaze met yours from between your thighs. “No one saw where you entered the palace for weeks, but you are afraid they are going to find you now?” His voice was so deep and raspy as if he had not used it in days.

His nose touched your left thigh, right beneath the spot where you wanted him the most. Suppressing a whine, you shook your head rapidly. “I can’t be quiet”, you whispered. “And this is a library.”

“This is my library”, he replied just as quietly, lips still brushing your thigh. “Within my palace, in my kingdom. I can act however I please.”

You moaned, the sheer power with which he spoke making your head spin. “Let’s just go to a bedroom, please”, you pleaded, sitting up again and leaning forward to take his face in your hands.

He blinked at you for a few moments, almost seeming dumbfounded. “I do not have a bedroom”, he replied and you brushed his nose with yours.

You were so sexually frustrated, you felt like you might burst into tears at any moment. “So, you are telling me…”, you whispered with your lips against his jaw as you slowly slid from the table and right into his lap, “… that you created everything there is in this realm, but you can’t whip up a quick bedroom?”

Both of you gasped as you found your seat on top of him, your most intimate places pressing into another, hindered only by a few layers of fabric.

Morpheus kissed you deeply and then pulled back, his arms winding around your body. There was a mischievous twinkle in his eyes as he gave you the tiniest hint of a smile and then kissed you again.

The next time you opened your eyes, you were still both sitting on the chair, but the chair was now situated in a large room with grey brick walls, colourful glass windows and a huge bed with black, silken sheets.

“Better?”, he whispered against your lips.

“Yes”, you replied in a sultry voice, sounding as if you were saying much more than just an answer to his question.

He got back to his feet with you in his arms, taking two long strides and then put one knee on the new bed. Leaning forward with one hand at your back and one against the mattress, he lowered you slowly, oh too gently. You gasped as the cool sheets touched your naked arms and shoulders, the silk feeling all too familiar to his cold touch. As if you were completely enveloped by his being and not just his body.

With his hands on your thighs, he pushed the skirt back up again until he could hook his fingers into your underwear. His eyes met yours and you nodded eagerly while your teeth pressed into your lower lip. He pulled the garment down your legs and threw is away as if it had personally offended him. Then he shrugged out of his coat before lying down on the bed between your legs, going back to licking and sucking at your thighs.

You jolted as his lips finally touched your centre with a whispery soft touch. Then his lips parted and his tongue opened you up as he licked through your slit, forcing seemingly inhuman sounds from you throat. One of your hands twisted in the sheets and the other fisted into his inky hair, making him moan against you.

You almost came right then and there, feeling the vibrations of his deep voice into your very core. His tongue flicked over your clit a couple of times before his lips closed around it, sucking gently. You couldn’t help but buck against him until one of his hands came up to press down on your stomach, anchoring to the bed. His other hand rubbed soothing circles over the skin of your outer thigh.

And then his tongue was inside you and you arched off the bed with a loud moan, legs shaking around his form. You were making soft little noises, gasping at moaning while he licked and pressed against you.

You knew that you were close, had been close since your lips at touched his. When your release crashed over you, you couldn’t help but throw your head to the side and release a high-pitched moan, thighs trembling and hand gripping the sheets so tightly that you were worried you might rip them.

His hair tickled the inside of your thighs for a moment before he pulled himself up, dragging his lips up your throat until he could kiss you again. It was strange, to taste yourself on his lips, and yet it was incredible. Arousing.

Morpheus looked down at your face as your lips broke apart. “You are so beautiful”, he said then.

You stared back at him, at his white skin, his strong jaw, his straight nose. Those black starlight eyes, his perfect brows, his dark mess of hair. “No”, you shook your head slightly. “You are.”

You yelped in surprise as he suddenly pressed two fingers inside of you.

His brows furrowed in concentration. “Still so tight”, he hissed, almost as if to himself.

You blushed deeply and put your hands on his sides above his customary black, long-sleeved shirt. Even though staying focused was very hard with his fingers slowly moving in and out of you, you took a deep breath and tugged at the bottom seam of his shirt gently.

“Can you…?”, you swallowed, not really sure how to ask. Can you get fucking naked already?

Brushing his nose over your cheek, he nodded slightly and removed his fingers from inside you to kneel between your legs. You took the opportunity to sit up yourself and while he pulled his shirt over his head you fiddled with the zipper on the side of your dress, pulling the white fabric off as well.

You had to push your hair away from your face when the dress was off and then couldn’t help but gawk at him.

He really was beautiful. Not in a human way, but in an ethereal, godlike way.

His entire skin, as far as you could see was pearly white, shadowed by the sharp rises and valleys between his bones and muscles. There seemed to be not an ounce of fat on that man, instead he seemed to consist of sinewy strength, the darkness of the night and the light of stars.

Tentatively, you reached out, touching his sharp clavicles. Dragging your fingertips down, you pressed your palm over his smooth left pectoral, feeling his strong heartbeat thudding beneath the skin. You watched in fascination as shivers followed your touch. His abdominal muscles twitched as your fingertips danced across the skin and for a cheeky moment you wondered whether he might be ticklish.

You did not dare to move further down, not yet, feeling too inexperienced. Instead, you put your hands behind your back and undid your bra, throwing it away in the same discarding fashion as he had done with your panties.

His eyes not leaving yours, he got up from the bed, touching your calves gently before taking your socks off, first the one, then the other. Then, he toed off his shoes and socks in a way that seemed all too human to you, making you smile slightly. Your smile quickly turned into a silly blush as he undid his pants and pulled them down.

No underwear underneath. Going commando.

Of course.

You bit your lips as you let your eyes trail from his hard, sinewy thigh muscles up to his striking manhood (seriously, that had been inside you?) and the patch of jet-black, coarse hair leading to his navel.

Looking back into his face, you slid further up the bed and lied down on your back, stretching your arms out to him in an inviting manner. Climbing up the bed, he slowly lowered himself on top of you, his body slotting against yours as if it belonged there. Everywhere his skin touched yours, your body felt on fire. One of his elbows held his weight, braced next to your head, and the other hand cupped your breast gingerly.

You shuddered, shallow breath living your lips as his thumb flicked over your nipple. Looking into each other’s eyes, his hand slid down further, tickling your stomach and sliding through your wetness before he took hold of himself.

He entered you, smoothly, swiftly, all the while looking into your eyes. There was no more resistance inside you, just pure pleasure as you took all of him into yourself. Finally, you couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore and closed them, seeing nothing behind your eyelids except for darkness and starlight.

His lips were on yours as he started to move carefully, rocking into you, his sharp breaths mingling with yours. You touched him wherever you could, his shoulders, his chest, his arms, his ass, his hair. He returned the favour and finally you understood what he had meant by worshipping another’s body.

But you had to disagree. It was not only beautiful to worship another’s body, it was even better when you were worshipped right back.

He held your knee in a tight grip suddenly and pulled hit higher, hoisting your leg up high on his waist, your knee pressing into his rips.

You moaned his name as he pushed deeper into you, pleasure crawling up your spine. Morpheus, Morpheus, Morpheus.

Light exploded behind your eyes, like the explosion of a sun within a doomed galaxy, and you arched your back as you came, gripping him inside you as if you would never let him go. He moaned with you, feeling you pulse around him, kissing your face, your cheeks, your chin, your brow. All the while his thrusts were getting harder, more forceful. You were sure to ache as soon as you woke up.

His erratic movements heightened your pleasure until you felt him push as deeply as he could and stay there, moaning deeply into your mouth.

The tension left his body then and he let his entire form press against the length of yours, his face buried against your neck.

On of your hands was lying on his spine, tracing the sharp vertebrae, while the other was in his hair. You stroked through the black strands slowly, listening to him hum against your skin in pleasure at the drag of your nails.  

Your body was still in bliss, heart beating out of your chest, but your mind was sadly quicker to return to you. Perhaps it was due past experience.

You pressed your lips against the crown of his head. “Please don’t send me away immediately”, you mumbled into his hair.

Morpheus’ body seized up, lifting his head slowly. His eyes were blue again, staring at yours with regret. He cupped the side of your face with one hand, thumb grazing your cheek bone. “No”, he said in that dark voice of his. “I should rather like you to stay.”

You couldn’t help but smile at him. It felt like a smile you hadn’t given in a long time, maybe not even in years. A smile of pure joy.

He smiled back at you slightly and kissed you again.

After a while, he rolled off of you, lying down on his side, eyes still watching you. You followed suit, also lying on your side, bodies still pressed together, noses almost touching each other.

“If…”, you started carefully. “If the world hasn’t ended by tomorrow, because… y’know, it didn’t end after the last time we did that, do you think that it will be fine?”

He raised his brows at you. “You mean to ask whether I think that the universe has changed its mind about ‘these stupid rules’?”, he quoted you.

You nodded stubbornly. “Yeah.”

Morpheus’ eyes looked sad as he watched your face. “I belief that things are rarely that easy. And even if they were, that would not prove that you are safe.”

Your face fell and you lowered your head slightly, staring at his chest instead.

Cold fingers touched your chin and he forced your eyes back to his. “But if the world has not ended by tomorrow, we shall see.”

You smiled back at him, not as brightly as before, but still weirdly happy. Snuggling closer to him, you pressed a kiss against his collarbone. His arms were around you, holding you tightly.

“I have a lot of passion for you, little stray dreamer”, he admitted quietly, lips brushing your forehead.

You hummed warmly, not knowing what to reply.

“And although, as your king, I was very impressed by your enraged outburst…”, he continued, breath hot against your skin, “…I also enjoy you pliantly beneath me.” His hands traced the inside of your thigh, where dark bruises were already starting to form from the ministrations of his lips and teeth.

You gasped indignantly and pushed against his shoulders playfully.

Pliantly. The audacity.

He let himself fall on his back and you were on him, pressing your breasts against his chest and burying your hand in his hair, tugging slightly. His eyes twinkled at you with mischief.

From the corners of your eyes, you saw it. He was hard again. Or still?

Carefully, you put your other hand on his stomach, your eyes following your own motions, and you trailed your fingertips over his muscles, through the intimate hair, until you brushed gently over his length. Both of you gasped.

You took hold of him gently. “You’ll have to show me”, you looked back at his face shyly, indignant courage forgotten, “how to… please you too.”

His hand buried itself in your hair, pulling you down to him.

“Will you teach me?”, you whispered against his lips.

His other hand wrapped around yours, squeezing gently. “Yes”, he moaned into the kiss.

__________________________

In the waking world, your body was lying peacefully in bed. Your muscles twitched occasionally, small moans leaving your lips.

That night, while you dreamt yourself into the arms of the King of Dreams, a low groaning sound rumbled through your flat and a dark, deep crack appeared underneath your bed.

Chapter Text

Chapter 10

Calamitas

So, the world did not end. Which was great of course.

You woke up the next day with a pleasant ache between your legs and blooming hickeys on the insides of your thighs. You had still been in Morpheus’ arms when your body was dragged back into the waking word. Both of you had simply lied there, in that new bed with the softest sheets in the world, making you wish that you could stay forever. You had lied there and both waited with baited breath for the day to come.

For the world to end, perhaps. Which didn’t happen.

That left you in sort of a weird place. Because, really, how were you supposed to act now?

You had gone there last night to say goodbye, because Morpheus didn’t think that it was a good idea for you to be together. He didn’t believe that things could be so easy that the rules for him as an Endless had simply changed.

So, what the fuck were you supposed to do now?

You spent that day biting your fingernails, knee bouncing whenever you sat down, restlessly and anxiously awaiting the night.

At nine p.m. you couldn’t take it any longer and lied down, willing yourself asleep and into the palace.

A part of you had expected for him to wait for you again, in that corner of the library. But he wasn’t there. You chanced a glance at the table and blushed deeply, trying to ignore what had almost happened there.

As you rounded the bookcase Morpheus had pushed you up against while kissing you, you saw the books that had fallen to the floor and bent down to start putting them back into the shelves.

After a while, Lucienne joined you.

“I’m afraid I made a little mess when I… bumped into the bookcase last night”, you confessed with a red face. You weren’t really sure how the books were supposed to be organized, so you just stuffed away.

Lucienne smiled at you as she removed one of the books you had just shelved and put it into its right spot. “That is quite alright, my Lady”, she replied.

You raised your eyebrows at her in confusion. “Lucienne, it’s me”, you laughed slightly. “You can just say my name, it’s not like I’m Morpheus or something.”

Her eyes swept over your face, her smile broadening a little. “Of course.”

Eyes still narrowed in confusion, you followed her as she made her way through the library.

“Lord Morpheus is busy at the moment, I am afraid”, she explained. “There has been an issue at the house of mystery that he went to inspect.”

You had no idea what the house of mystery was, but you simply nodded along, feeling relieved when you heard the tell-tale flap of Matthew’s wings above your head.

“Hey, kid”, Matthew greeted you as he landed on your head.

“Lucienne, do I have a chicken on my head?”, you asked the librarian with mock confusion.

Lucienne couldn’t help but laugh, making Matthew ruffle his feathers indignantly.

Since she insisted that there was really no need for you to help around the library, which was a first, because so far she had always come up with something to occupy you with, you let Matthew lead you around the palace with curiosity. You hadn’t seen anything apart from the library, the throne room and that new bedroom yet.

The raven babbled something about that time when he still had thumbs as he flew above your head, leading you to an outside area within the palace that opened into a beautiful garden. You were surrounded by the most colourful flowers you had every seen, also hearing the splashing of water somewhere around the corner and eyes catching the sway of weeping willows in the wind.

“This is incredible”, you told Matthew as you touched a bright blue blossom gingerly.

“It’s always changing”, Matthew explained, landing on the ground at your feet. He didn’t stop however, hopping ahead. “Mostly with the weather. Weather has been great, by the way. I don’t think I have ever seen such a clear sky since I got here.”

You stared at the raven, not sure was he was trying to say.

Rounding a corner, you saw an intricate marble fountain that Mervyn was working on.

“Hey, Mervyn”, you called at him and waved.

Matthew and yourself reached the pumpkin and you sat down at the edge of the fountain. The basin was filled, but there was no water running over the tiers. Mervyn cursed, obviously trying to fix the problem.

“Couldn’t Morpheus just fix that thing?”, you asked as you trailed your fingertips over the smooth surface of the water. Matthew landed on your shoulder, croaking something that sounded like a laugh.

“Of course, he could”, Mervyn grumbled. “Just likes to keep me busy is what he does.”

You couldn’t help but smile yourself, leaning your face against your arm, relishing in the sunshine on your skin. “Maybe you should convince him to create a staff council. Although that doesn’t really seem fitting in a monarchy.”

Mervyn shook his head, giving up on his tools for now and lighting a cigar. “It’s alright, my Lady, I get by.”

Raising your head from your arm, you stared at the pumpkin. “What’s with everyone today? Have I been royally anointed or something, or why do you keep calling me that?”, you asked.

Mervyn looked at Matthew on your shoulder, who stretched his wings nervously.

“Well”, the raven started, “as I’ve said, the weather has been really fucking great and there is some gossip, so we were wondering –“

“Am I interrupting?”, Morpheus’ voice asked from behind you, causing Mervyn to jerk and Matthew to fly from your shoulder with a startled croak.

“Of course not, Boss”, Matthew hurried to say and landed at Mervyn’s feet. “Just making small talk.”

“Hm”, Morpheus hummed contemplatively.

You leaned your head back against your arm, not really knowing what to say or how to react.

“If you would excuse us”, Morpheus said then and, with a flick of his hand, the water started to pour from the fountain again. Mervyn gave a disgruntled harumph.

The King of Dreams made, however, not indication that he would move, so Mervyn picked up his tools and started to leave down the path, Matthew hopping behind him. Your eyes trailed after them, undecided what to do, so you got to your feet as if to follow them.

“Not you”, Morpheus ordered and you stopped, pulling at the bottom seam of your pyjama shirt nervously. Just now you noticed that you hadn’t changed your clothes into something more… street style. Instead, you still wore the old band t-shirt and boxer shorts you had gone to bed in. The strewn books in the library and Lucienne must have distracted you.

Your eyes met his, but you had no idea what he was possibly thinking.

“You have a beautiful garden”, you said then, feeling incredibly stupid. Next you would probably ask him how he liked the weather. Which he controlled. What an inspiring conversation that would be.

Tilting his head to the side slightly, his mouth twitched into a tiny smile. “Thank you.”

You couldn’t help but notice how he didn’t seem to fit into the scenery, with his pale skin and dark, long coat. 

He bent down and plucked a pale-yellow flower from the edge of the gravel path. Its colour reminded you of your dream door. After inspecting the flower for a moment, he stepped forward and handed it to you. You took it hesitantly, and as soon as your fingers curled around the stem, there was an equally pale-yellow dress on your body instead of your sleeping clothes, fabric as soft as flower petals.

The dress was intricate and flowy with a lace-up front and a little more length than your usual dresses, but you didn’t mind. The straps were thin, the warm breeze caressing your shoulders, and you noticed that Morpheus had not provided you with underwear. Any underwear.

You smiled at him slightly as you tried to keep from nervously shifting at your nakedness beneath the dress and brought the flower up to your face, smelling the petals. It smelled like honey and a cosy Sunday afternoon without worries.

Morpheus took another step forward, his chest brushing your arm that held the flower up.

Sort of twitchy because he didn’t say anything, you finally stated: “The world’s still standing, in case you were curious.”

He nodded. “So it seems.”

And then he bent forward and kissed you sweetly, fingertips barely grazing your cheekbone.

You sighed, winding your arms around his shoulders, flower dangling from your fingers at his back.

A sudden screech made you flinch and a large, winged creature flew far over your heads, above the palace’s towers.

“It is just a young gargoyle”, Morpheus explained gently and took your hand. Quickly, he led you into the shadow of a weeping willow, the branchlets hiding your bodies from sight.

Morpheus pressed your back into the tree’s bark and kissed you again, more passionately this time.

Alright, when by ‘if the world has not ended by tomorrow, we shall see’ he had meant this, you could definitely live with that.

His lips plied your mouth open, his tongue stroking over yours and your knees grew weak. Would that ever stop? Would the effect he had on you ever lessen?

His skilful tongue distracted yours and you just realised that he had unlaced the top part of your dress’s bodice when he pulled it aside, warm breeze hitting your naked breast.

“Morpheus!”, you squeaked into his mouth, clearly scandalized. There were dreams and nightmares everywhere in this place, not only living creatures you could see with your own eyes, but entities and sentient places that noticed everything that went on around them.

“Shh”, he made against your lips, hand deftly plucking at your hard nipple.

Your head was swimming and somewhere, in a hidden corner of your mind, you had to admit that the boldness of it all was thrilling. To let the King of Dreams and Nightmares feel you up in such an open place within his palace, risking that any subject of his might walk by (or simply exist nearby) and see or hear you… It was even more thrilling to know that there wouldn’t really be any consequences. He was all powerful in this realm, no one would dare to speak against you or treat you any differently. The worst thing that could happen would be that you might be quite embarrassed.

His lips were on your neck, pressing whisper soft kisses against your pulse, tongue playing with that sensitive spot where your shoulder met your neck. You gasped and felt yourself throb in your underwear as his hand still rubbed over your breast.

Well, you wouldn’t be the only one embarrassed, should this go south, you decided. You dropped the flower in favour of touching him.

You pulled his head back up, guiding his face to yours to press a greedy kiss against his lips, tongue tracing his teeth and curling against his. He moaned into your mouth, clearly enjoying you grabbing the wheel.

You used the moment of distraction to trail your hands down his chest, undoing his pants as quickly as you could with your nervous, shaky hands. Morpheus tensed up as you dived your hand inside, taking hold of his hard length just the way he had shown you yesterday, pumping him slowly, dragging your hand up and down so carefully that you knew you were being a tease.

His lips left yours, dragging over your cheek and groaning against your skin. You could feel his lips twisting into one of his teeny-tiny smiles and the next exhale that hit your face sounded almost like a dark chuckle.

Then his lips were on your ear, causing you to shudder at the tickling sensations.

“Brave girl”, he whispered, voice full of affection. “My brave girl.”

You moaned just at the praise alone, picking up your pace slightly and squeezing him a little harder. His hands were fisting in your skirt, pulling it up over your knees and your thighs. You did not think much of it at first, expecting him to touch you in the same intimate way you were touching him, but instead he hoisted you up with his hands firmly gripping your thighs.

You yelped in surprise and were forced to let go of him, hands squeezing his arms for purchase.

Okay, making out wildly while technically in public was one thing but this?

“No…”, you had wanted to vehemently say. No, not here, but your voice came out in a breathless moan as his hardness graced your wet folds.

“Yes”, he whispered back passionately and entered you slowly, your back digging into the tree’s bark, as you arched into him slightly. Not that you minded, your senses overwhelmed by the pleasure of having him inside you so quickly again.

The audacity of what you were doing was pumping liquid fire through your veins, causing you to be so close already as he started to thrust into you. Your ankles crossed at his back and your hands moved from his arms to his shoulders, fingers digging into the muscles, feeling the way they shifted beneath the black coat.

Morpheus’ lips were demanding against yours, not giving you a second to breathe as he pressed into you, again and again, breathing feverish sounds down your throat. Your walls fluttered around him as you felt the sheer neediness radiating off of him.

The thought of Morpheus wanting your body in general was pretty arousing in itself, but to think that he was needy for you, that he was just as desperate for you as you were for him was driving you wild.

To think that the King of Dreams was so damn horny that he had to fuck you right then and there in his gardens, not giving a shit who might see.

His hands dragged from your thighs to your hips, gripping you even more tightly, thrusting in a punishing rhythm inside of you.

You sobbed against his lips as your orgasm hit you, nails clawing at his coat and thighs tightening around his waist. He was right there with you, moaning into you as he shoved himself as deep inside you as he could, your tailbone hitting the bark hard.

The skin of your neck and chest flushed brilliantly red as your position sunk in and you hoped desperately that Mervyn and Matthew were as far away as possible.  

Morpheus dragged his lips over your temple while you still tried to catch your breath and he let you to your feet slowly. His clothes were back in position already, everything covered up and properly closed, probably due to some dream magic.

You flushed even further when you felt the evidence of his release run down your legs slowly. Instead of magically closing up your bodice again, Morpheus re-laced it with gently hands, every brush of his fingers sending shivers down your spine. When he tied the bow above the swell of your breasts, his eyes met yours and you couldn’t help your girlish smile.

“Hi”, you greeted him and bit your lower lip to keep from smiling like an idiot.  

“Hello”, he replied lowly, lips twitching. With a quick motion of his hand that you couldn’t describe in any other way than street-magicky, he let the blossom of your forgotten flower re-appear, tugging it behind your ear.

You raised your hand, fingers touching the soft petals once more as they brushed your cheek, and your heart seized up at the tender sweetness of the moment.

At the same time, you had to (oddly enough) fight the sudden urge to yawn. A weird sleepiness made your head fuzzy, but you blinked a couple of times, powering through and willing it away.

Morpheus took your hand gently and pulled you to him. “Come”, he whispered as he led you through the garden, starting to show you the different wonders of his palace.

_____________________________________

Morpheus stared down at your head, at the way your hair was fanned across his torso. The side of your face was pressed against his chest, your naked body lying on top of his in that bed he had created just for you. Inside the tower in his palace, he had created just for you, accessible for his subjects only by massive, seemingly endless flights of stairs. In that brief moment, this span of seconds he had taken to create this refuge for the both of you, he had wanted to make sure that whoever might ever bother you here would only do it for a very important reason.

Namely, a reason that would cause that messenger to be willing to take a thousand flights of stairs.

The room was starting to grow, not in space but in décor. The windowsill was padded by a sumptuous amount of pillows, in case you wanted to read in peace in front of those colourful windows. There was a bookcase stagged with whatever books you had mentioned wanting to read or books he had thought might interest you.

Flowers were strewn across the space, reminding him of the colour of your door, the light in your eyes or the rosy shade of your lips.

The bed remained the same, even though he had offered to change it, but you insisted on the black silk sheets, mentioning with a deep blush that they reminded you of him.

Those very sheets you were curled up in together right now. And despite your state of undress, he had not lain with you yet that night, not even touched you inappropriately. No, he simply brushed his fingers down your naked back, relishing in the way your pleasured hums dragged across his skin.

He enjoyed you this way, softly and sweet, just as much as when you enveloped him in pleasuring heat. Somewhere, in a recess of his mind that did not care about his crumbling restraint or pride, he could admit to knowing that he was starved for this feeling, this intimacy, this touch. To simply have and to hold you, knowing that in these fleeting moments you were only his.

Here, in his realm, there was nothing to share you with. You had no duties here, no obligations. If he wanted to keep you in this bed all night, every night, he could do so.

And even worse: you would let him.

He was being selfish. He was being reckless.

A part of him knew that this peace that the two of you had found was a fickle one. The universe did not change its mind. It did not change its rules. And with every passing day his fear grew that both of you would receive a punishment enhanced by far because of this time you had dared to steal.

It was guilt that drove him to cherish you and shower you with gifts. At first it was a new dress every night. Then jewellery. For him, ensuring that your presents were still on you when you woke up, required no effort.

In a quiet moment, similar to the one you shared right now, you had admitted that you did not really know what to do with all these gifts. That your bedroom was overflown with the most beautiful dresses you had ever owned and more experience jewellery than you could ever effort.

With a blushing smile you had also told him that you loved receiving gifts. Had always loved it ever since you were a child, ever since the first Christmas you could remember.

He had been confused as to whether you wanted to tell him to stop or continue to bestow gifts upon you. Somehow, he knew that you didn’t know what you had wanted to say either.

So, he continued. Adding to the physical gifts, he let you practice your powers in his realm, watching in fascination as you got more proficient, secretly bestowing a little more of his magic upon you night by night.

At first you had only started with small changes: Altering the title of a book. Changing the colours of your socks.

Then you had started to alter the windows in his throne room.

Slowly, you learned how to produce things, laughing for almost the entire night when you had made him a hairbrush and he had let it indignantly disappear immediately.

This night, you had forged your first living creation in his garden: a beautiful, sparkling butterfly. You had been so joyful upon seeing the little creature flap its wings into the sky that it almost pained him.

He knew what he was doing and felt even more foolish for it.

Morpheus was wooing you. Had he felt completely free, he would have made you even more intricate, royal dresses, befitting the lady that his subjects had taken up to calling you, much to your confusion.

His subjects, who were much more observant than he had at first anticipated. Another foolishness on his side.

He had once before wooed a woman with such gifts for marriage, but Calliope was immortal, a goddess, causing no risk of punishment or fear of the future. Calliope could have indeed become his Queen, had history played out differently.

But you could not.

Morpheus knew that such a thought would bring jealousy to humans. For him, however, there was no comparison: his marriage to Calliope lied thousands of years in the past and even though they would always share this history as well as their mutual grief, at that moment, there existed no other woman for him.

No other figure he would rather hold.

No skin he would rather touch.

No lips he would rather kiss.

And yet, there was no future for you in his realm. Sighing deeply, he willed the dread inside his stomach away. He should reject you. Cast you out of his kingdom and ensure that you could not return. Rob you of your ability to dream if necessary.

“I wish you would ask more of me”, he said instead into the quietness of the peaceful room.

The irony was not lost on him: he had despised Roderick Burgess and for a while all of mankind for their greed. And yet he would want you to demand of him, not just to quench his guilt in keeping you despite the risks, but because you deserved so much more.

“What?”, you mumbled, and yawned against his skin. That was another strange change he could not explain. You seemed to be increasingly exhausted, in the waking world as in the dreaming. He would often catch your eyes drooping slightly or you trying to hide a yawn. As far as he knew, it was not possible to get tired in the dreaming, but a mortal had never spent that much time in his palace, so he was not certain.

You raised your head lazily from his chest to look at him. “What should I ask for?”

“Whatever you want”, he explained quietly, pushing your tousled hair away from your forehead. “I could give you almost anything in this realm or the waking world and yet you have asked nothing of me.”

You pursed your lips in a thoughtful manner. “But I have everything I want”, you mumbled, leaning forward to kiss his bony shoulder.

Morpheus’ face twisted in a pained expression as your lips shifted up his neck. He knew the words that you implied without daring to speak them.

You are everything I want.

And although he felt very much the same, those words also meant that your pain would be all the greater when the night came that he had the strength to leave you. He had noted that you were spending a lot of your time in his realm. Twelve hours or more of sleep per day was a lot for a mortal and he was even weaker for not being able to tell you that humans should not and could not live entirely through their dreams.

You chuckled slightly against his throat, ripping him from his grim thoughts and making his entire body react in delight.

“Anything I want, you say?”, you grinned and pressed a sloppy kiss to his lips.

Morpheus hummed in agreement.

“Then I want to ask you…”, you started and kissed his collarbones.

“… to let me…”, your lips dragged down his sternum.

“…pleasure you…”, your tongue moved over his twitching abdominal muscles.

“…whatever way I want”, and with that you took him into your mouth without much preamble.

He grunted lowly as he gripped your hair, helping you to find the rhythm that drove him almost mad with want.

Morpheus keenly remembered the night you had asked him to show you how you could return the favour. He had spent a long time buried with his head between your thighs, forcing you to climax twice on his tongue. You had been a sweating, twitching mess beneath him, and yet had wanted him to show you.

He had insisted that you had no reason or need to feel obligated to him whatsoever, of course. To taste you, to drive you to such heights brought him more pleasure than any touch you could give him. He truly wanted to worship you. But you had been stubborn and he had indulged you.

You took him further into the velvet heat of your mouth, hand dragging over the length you could not reach. Your tongue circled his head as you moved back up and the pleasured moan that vibrated up your throat and over his throbbing member let him know that you had tasted the evidence of his arousal.

For a mortal, and such an innocent one at that, you were surprisingly wanton when it came to his pleasure. He was on the brink of insanity with every new skill or position you took to, all for him. Only with him.

You released him suddenly and crawled back in his lap, pressing your wet mouth against his.

“You know what I’ve wanted to do ever since we went to hell?”, you whispered in his ear, dragging your fingers through his hair, scratching your nails down his scalp, knowing full well how much he enjoyed those sensations. “Ever since you had me that first time.” You pressed a kiss beneath his ear.

“Tell me”, he demanded quietly, quite curious what it was that you wanted to say. What it was that you had interrupted your ministrations for.

 “Ever since you left me alone for so long after hell…”, you continued, pressing your wet centre against his equally wet length, making him grip your waist tightly.

You gasped and kissed him, making him moan in return.

“Lord Morpheus?”, you demanded his attention again, stressing his title in the audacious manner you sometimes liked to do during such moments.

“Yes?”

You waited until he opened his eyes, grinningly cheekily at him, and then whispered: “This dream is over.”

____________________________________

You sat up in your bed with a jolt, grinning widely to yourself.

Revenge, sweet revenge.

You had wanted to do that ever since you had realised that you could end your dreams yourself, but hadn’t felt confident enough in Morpheus’ presence. Not only because of your own abilities (or lack thereof), but because he had that capacity to make your head fuzzy and distract your body with the most wicked things.

But the opportunity had just been too good.

You kept grinning as you got up, noting that your alarm showed it was five in the morning. You got yourself a glass of water from the kitchen, drinking in huge gulps and went back to your bedroom, where you put the glass down on your bedside table.

As you straightened, a cold hand pressed against your mouth from behind, muffling your surprised screams.

“That is a neat little skill you learned”, a familiar, low voice hissed in your ear, turning your screams into giggles.

Morpheus removed his hand from your mouth, letting it curl lightly around your throat instead.

“Doesn’t feel so nice when you are yourself kicked out of someone’s dream, huh?”, you replied and bit your lower lip with a sassy grin.

“Technically, you removed yourself from your dream”, he whispered, breath tickling your neck and making goosebumps erupt over your skin. “And I am here, am I not? There is nowhere you could escape from me.”

You gasped and rolled your ass against him experimentally, feeling his erection still present.

Morpheus had not gifted you with a dress that night, so you still wore your customary sleep shirt and boxers. “Nowhere?”, you asked airily.

Ignoring your question, his other hand settled over your stomach, sneaking between gap of your shirt and shorts. “Tell me, little dreamer”, he dragged his teeth over your pulse, “did you wake up wet?”

You blushed, body twitching in his arms as he shoved his hands down your shorts, fingers immediately delving through your wetness. “Ah, but did you punish just me, or yourself as well?”, he asked as he started rubbing your clit, causing you to moan his name.

His other hand left your throat and crawled up under your shirt, rolling your nipple between his fingers expertly.

“Oh!”, you gasped as his fingers entered you.

“Should I leave you wanting, just like you left me? Not allow you to enter my kingdom until you are mad with need?”

You hissed, wetting your lips quickly. “No, please don’t”, you mewled, bucking against his hand. “Please, my King…”

He groaned and let go of you, turning you around quickly. You clashed together with grabbing hands and hungry lips, pulling at each other until all your clothes were off.   

You pushed him onto the bed impatiently and he let you, despite his dominant words. Climbing on top of him, you rubbed your body against his wherever you could before sinking down on top of his length, savouring every inch that pushed inside you.

He liked seeing you ride him, you knew that. Liked the way you took your own pleasure, the way your sweat-slicked body would glide against his. Most of all, he liked being able to touch every inch of you while you moved on top of him.

Like this, it did not take long before you both came, bodies trembling against each other and lips pressed firmly together, sharing the same moaning breaths.

“But I did get my message across, right?”, you asked as you tried to manage your breathing again and rolled off of him.

“Yes”, he replied, staring at the ceiling of your bedroom. “Yes, you did.”

You smiled at him, at the wonder of an Endless in your boring human bedroom, and tried to swallow around your dry throat. “Thirsty…”, you mumbled to yourself, making him laugh slightly and sat up to grab your glass of water.

“What the fuck?”, you cursed then as you saw the silver ring on your night stand in the pale moonlight. You could have sworn that it hadn’t been there when you had went to bed that evening. Had someone been in your room while you slept? “How did that get here?”

You took it and turned it in the sparse silvery light. Morpheus sat up beside you, starlight eyes letting you know that he could see just fine in the darkness.

“Where did you get this?”, he hissed darkly as he snatched the sigil from your fingers.

“Some woman gave it to me, but I threw it away”, you explained, his hard expression frightening you.

“What woman?”, he asked, voice lower and more gravelly than you had ever heard. “What did you do?”

You started shaking slightly. “I did nothing”, you tried to reach for the ring, but his hand grabbed your wrist tightly enough to leave bruises. “Morpheus, I don’t even know what it is…”

“So, you want to tell me that you have never seen this sigil before within my realm?”, his voice held a biting accusation.

“I did, but I didn’t think much of it”, you admitted quietly. “Please, you are scaring me”, you added in a timid voice, but his face only hardened further.

“Is this how you found your way into my palace?”, Morpheus inquired. “Why would you not speak to me of this? What did you pay for this information?”

“Yes, it is”, you tried to yank your arm from his grasp, but he did not budge an inch. Tears were starting to gather in your eyes. “I didn’t think to tell you when I found you, because I was distracted by talk of anger and forgiveness and then a lot of sex. I didn’t pay anyone, I threw the fucking ring away as soon as she gave it to me.”

“Who?”, he growled.

“A woman I don’t know. She didn’t tell me her name. She had… blonde hair and golden eyes, that’s all I remember. Please, you are hurting me!”

He let your hand go as if you had burned him and stared back at the ring.

You shivered slightly and waited for a reaction, but nothing came.

Finally, his eyes met yours again, his expression quizzical, but no longer frighteningly angry. “Golden eyes?”, he repeated.

You nodded, willing your tears away. “Yes.”

His expression crumbled and he buried his face in his hands with a low groan.

“Morpheus?”, you asked and put your hand on his shoulder timidly. “What is it?”

He shook his head and kissed you suddenly. “Forgive me”, he whispered as he took your face in his hands. The ring had vanished into his skin. “I did not…”

“Do you know her?”, you asked against his lips when he didn’t continue.

“Yes”, he replied, his eyes seeming incredibly regretful. “You have met one of my siblings.”

Your eyes widened in shock. “Which one?”

Morpheus took your red wrist and pressed an apologetic kiss to the abused skin. “Desire.”

“Is that… is that a bad one?”, you asked carefully. “I mean, she did help me to find you, is that not a good thing?”

His black eyes bore into yours, expression grim. “No, it is not”, he replied darkly. “Desire cannot be trusted.” He sighed deeply. “I have to think about what consequences this holds.”

You nodded slowly, caressing his face gently. “Okay”, you said quietly and in the next moment he was gone.

You let your back fall to the mattress, bone-deep exhaustion coming over you.

It had been weird, lately, with your tiredness. You knew that Morpheus and some of his subjects had noticed as well how you would stare into nothingness from time to time, mind overcome by the sudden urge to close your eyes and fall asleep. Which was weird, since… you were already asleep.

When you were not in the dreaming, the sleepiness remained. Each morning, you had to fight to get out of bed. As if there was an invisible magnet underneath, trying to pull your body down with extra gravity. Most of the time, you felt as if you were sleepwalking. At least while dreaming, your fatigue was easier to bear.

You had your own theory concerning the entire thing, of course. If you had to guess, you’d say that the tiredness was a physical manifestation of something psychological.

Because you were living in bliss. And yet, you were not.

Being with Morpheus, it was all that you could have ever wanted and more.

But you knew that it was a fickle peace. That he might cast you out with a snap of his fingers for your own protection. You couldn’t even fault him for that. Were it his life that was at stake, you’d do anything to save him.

What bothered you was how unimportant you felt, how small compared to him. As he had said, you had no imagination of how long he had already lived or how long he yet had to live. His past with Nada alone had happened ten-thousand years ago.

Compared to that, even if he were to stay with you until you died of old age (which was in itself already a ridiculous notion), your time together would be nothing more than a moment to him. A meek minute before you were gone and he would move inevitably on.

Tears gathered in your eyes. Whether you died tomorrow or in a hundred years, he would soon forget about you. In a thousand years there will have been countless other lover, probably even more beautiful and interesting than you.

Shaking your head angrily, you allowed the silent tears to fall.

Maybe all of this would have been easier to bear would you not love him.

And you did love him.

You loved the power he radiated at any moment.

You loved how soft and gentle he touched you.

You loved his honesty when he had asked you to forgive him.

You loved how ridiculously beautiful he was.

You loved his stupid hair.

You loved his little smiles.

You loved everything about him, even his occasional grumpiness.

By God, you loved him.

And you were so tired.

Somehow, that made everything so much worse. You didn’t go back to sleep. You guessed that Morpheus would be busy trying to figure the business with Desire out anyway. Instead, you rolled onto your side and cried.

__________________________________

Morpheus sat on his throne, staring into the distance grimly.

You would call it brooding. This happened a lot to him recently: hearing your voice in his head. Whatever you might say, whether advice or a silly thing to cheer him up would come to your mind.

His initial urge had been to storm into his gallery and demand for Desire’s attention. Whatever his sibling planned, it could not be well-intentioned.

But then he had paused. Even if he made his accusation, what could he possibly threaten them with? This was a private matter and not a family affair. The support of Destiny and Death would be void in this case.

Even worse, he would most likely only confirm what Desire already suspected: how deeply he cared for you. Whatever they had planned, it could only be worsened if they knew of the depth of his affection with certainty. The fact that, at that moment, there was nothing he could do to protect you from his sibling made his blood boil.

He felt you slip into sleep, entering his realm. With surprise, he noted that it was later than usual. You had not gone to bed the first chance you had gotten, meaning that you would not spend your usual twelve hours in his realm.

Nevertheless, your presence soothed his livid anger a little. Despite him having to admit to weakness again.

For if he really wanted to protect you, he would leave you now. Desire had gotten too close to you and he had not even been looking. Had not even found out after weeks had passed.

But he could not let go of you.

Not yet.

Time moved on and you did not come to him. He furrowed his brows in confusion, weather darkening even further behind him. Something was wrong.

He got up from his throne and went to find you.

You were sitting in the corner of the library where you always entered. Remote and far away from Lucienne’s bustling, you had not been detected by anyone else. You sat in one of the chairs at the table, arms hugging your bent legs and chin resting on top of your knees.

“What is wrong?”, Morpheus asked as he noted your eyes following him. He had taken up to making sure that he would not scare you anymore with his sudden appearances.

You shrugged. “Dunno”, you replied, rubbing your tired eyes. There were dark circles underneath.

Going down on one knee in front of you, Morpheus took your bruised wrist. “Forgive me”, he repeated his apology from the last night and kissed your hand. “I should not have touched you.”

“’s fine”, you said, shaking your head. “I know you didn’t do it on purpose. You never do.”

He returned your slight smile. It was true that as an Endless, he was also physically much stronger than you. There had been times before, when in the heat of the moment he had gripped you too tightly, causing your waist or thighs to bruise. You always ensured that it did not hurt, that you actually enjoyed it when passion got the better of him. But still…

“If I caused you pain –“, he started.

You shook your head again. “That’s not it.”

His brows furrowed. “What is it then?”

You sighed deeply, letting your forehead hit your knees. “This whole thing with Desire… does it mean that you will make me leave?”

Morpheus’ body tensed. He had known that moment would come, when both of your shortcomings in communication would catch up. If the world has not ended by tomorrow, we shall see, he had said, but neither of you had ever spoken of the situation again.

About the issue of your safety or the universe’s rules. Or what the consequences of both of your disregard would be.

What it would mean, for the both of you to be together.

“No”, he replied finally. Honestly.

Your head came back up, expression puzzled. “Why? I was sure that by now you would have brooded yourself into that corner.”

He ducked his head down, hiding his slight smile. You knew him so well.

“I cannot”, he said then.

“Why?”, you repeated.

His brows furrowed in confusion. “You know why.”

An indignant snort left you. “Because you are infatuated with me”, you deadpanned, hiding your face behind your legs again.

Frustrated, Morpheus let go of your hand. “What is it that is bothering you?”

“Nothing”, you answered sullenly.

He got back to his feet, barely resisting the urge to growl in annoyance. “You can ask me anything”, he said solemnly.

Unfolding yourself from the chair, you looked up at him. “I know that.”

“Then ask.”

“No”, you shook your head.

Taking your tired face in his hands, he forced you to stand. “What is hurting you, my little dreamer?”, he asked tenderly. “Why would you not ask me to soothe whatever is causing you pain?” His lips pressed to your forehead.

Sighing, you leaned your head against his shoulder, putting your arms around his middle to squeeze him tightly. “Because there is no answer you could give that would make me feel better.”

“Ask and we will see.”

“No.”

Morpheus forced you to look at him. “Ask, or I shall find the answer in your dreams.”

You gazed at him indignantly. “You’d force be back behind my dream door to spy on me?”

“If need be”, he replied. “I cannot bear your sadness.”

With a scoff you removed yourself from him. “Fine, I’ll ask. Knowing full well that no good can come from this, by the way.”

Noting in horror that you sniffed slightly, Morpheus saw tears gathering in your eyes.

“I am mortal”, you finally said. “And I am wondering what I will become to you once I’m dead. Because, let’s face it, it’s only a matter of time before you come to your senses. If Desire didn’t do it, some other shoe is surely going to drop soon. And then this entire thing, all this time we spent together, it will be nothing but the blink of an eye compared to your endless life, no matter how long it seemed to me.”

Pressing your lips tightly together, you scowled as you felt the tears slide over your cheeks. “A second of passion and nothing more. How many lovers have you had? How many are you going to have? Do I even hold enough significance to be mentioned in a couple of centuries? In a thousand years? I don’t think so.” You stared at him defiantly. “So, tell me, is there an answer that you could give me that would soothe my pain, King of Dreams?”

Morpheus stared back at you, truly speechless. Your mortality was never something he had forgotten – how could he? – but his worries had all evolved around your safety right now. Your safety while you were with him, under his protection. In his arms.

He had not even dared to think about you dying regardless of his actions. Whether by the schemes of one of his enemies or old age, one day you would die. There was no way for him to change that. He could not change your mortality, no matter how powerful he was.

Even I am not free to choose to be other than I am.

And yet, he could not imagine such a moment in time. To know that you would die was one thing. To know that there would one day be this earth, this world, this universe where you would simply not exist was unbearable. Even if you were not with him, he still wanted you to be. Wanted to know that in some corner of this world, you might make it a little brighter, a little better with your presence.

“See?”, you finally said, flexing your hands into fists at your sides. Your tears had stopped flowing.

Morpheus opened his mouth to say something, to give you anything so that you might hurt less, but you shook your head before he could do so.

“You said that you wished I would ask you for more. Said that I could ask you for anything. So, I ask you to give me a moment alone”, you rubbed your eyes again. “I just wanna be alone, but I am too tired to go back into the waking world. Just a moment and I will be right back with you. Can you give me that?”

With great sadness in his eyes, he nodded and took your hand, pressing a kiss to your fingers. “Of course, my Lady.”

With that, he turned around and left the library, certain that you would come to him when you were ready.

He went back to his throne, back to his brooding.

If only he had never let you under his skin.

If only he had not fallen in love with you.

______________________________

Just a moment, you thought to yourself as you sat back down, resting your forehead against your bent forearms on the tabletop.

You were too tired to be angry. Too tired to even be sad anymore. Everything seemed weirdly inconsequential right now, except for your infinite fatigue.

I just need a moment of sleep.

And with that you closed your eyes.

___________________________________

Morpheus was keenly attuned to your being within his realm. After all, as long as you were asleep, he could feel you. Desperately, he waited for you to come to him, to give him the opportunity to hold you, to worship you.

Suddenly, there was a rumble going through the ground, echoing through the palace, tearing through his very realm. The seismic activity. A deep crack appeared in one of his windows.  

And then, he felt you slip away. Not in the sense of you rising back into your waking body, but as if you would fall deeper into … what? Brows furrowed, Morpheus contemplated whether he should search for you in the waking world. Find out what had happened, what had woken you. Or should he rather take care of matters in his realm?

He was not used to such indecisiveness.

“Boss!”, Matthew called as he flew into the throne room with an astonishing speed. “Boss, there is a problem! Like, a really big problem…”

Heart sinking, Morpheus was in the library with just a thought. There were cracks littering the floor, leading to you.

“Sir”, Lucienne stopped him before he could round the bookcase, that hid you. She had obviously found your secret spot due to the damage. “Sir, we have found her like this. I don’t know –”

Impatiently, he pushed past Lucienne and stepped to the table.

You were… asleep.

“This is not possible”, Morpheus whispered and reached out to touch your cheek softly.

Lucienne gasped in horror as your skin crumbled and your body dissolved into fleeting ash, swept away by an almost imperceptible breeze.

Panic clawing at his throat, Morpheus stared at his finger and then at the spot where you had just been.

___________________________________

“What the –“, Mike called and dropped his midnight snack as he saw the dark figure in the hallway of his flat. “Man, you scared the ever-living shit out of me”, he told your mysterious boyfriend then. He had not known that this Morpheus guy would come over, but then again, you had been really withdrawn lately.

Morpheus ignored the mortal and pushed past him, barging into your bedroom without a word.

“Dude, do you have a bird with you?”, Mike asked as he saw Matthew hopping closely behind his master’s feet.

Matthew wisely chose not to use his voice in the present situation.

Morpheus breathed a sigh of relief as he saw you lying in your bed. That relief was intensified as he sat down on the edge of the mattress and drew your body to his without you crumbling to ash.

You were breathing, but your skin was ice cold. He took your face in his hand and pressed his forehead to yours, closing his eyes. He was searching for you, for the place where your consciousness had withdrawn to, but he found nothing. Inside your mind, there was only darkness.

“Is she okay?”, Mike asked timidly. He might not have understood exactly what was happening, but he could apparently feel the severity of the situation. “What’s going on?”

Morpheus started to tremble, not letting go of your body.

No, no, no!

He whispered your name, as if that would change anything, and kissed your forehead desperately, wishing that the simple act could call you back.  

Matthew gave a quiet croak and pulled on his master’s pantleg with his beak, flapping his wings nervously. Morpheus put you back down onto the bed and crouched down next to it. Beneath your bed was a deep, dark crack in the wooden floor.

Meanwhile, Mike had come closer and started shaking you and calling your name in a scared voice.

Matthew gave another miserable croak.

“Hang on”, Mike told Morpheus. “I’ll call an ambulance.”

________________________________

After one week in the hospital, your body was transferred.

The diagnosis of your sudden coma was the Sleepy Sickness. The irony was lost to Morpheus.

Mike, whom you had apparently named as your medical treatment decision maker after your father’s accident, had managed to have you transferred to your father’s nursing home. He thought sharing a room with him might bring you comfort.

Morpheus did not share this belief. Wherever your consciousness had gone, most likely nothing could give you comfort there.

Strangely enough, when he watched your sleeping body now, he was reminded of the way you had described your father to him, the second time that you had spoken to each other.

 I mean, he’s breathing and his heart is beating, but everything else is just gone. And I was wondering whether, due to brain damage or whatever, he had already left his body. His character or whatever had made him himself. Like when people’s bodies are still alive but they are brain-dead. Do you even know what brain-dead means? Anyway, I thought that maybe his soul had already left. Moved on or whatever happens when we die.

The thought that you might be gone, whatever had made you yourself, made him want to crumble. But he would not let himself. He had learned, after all, that hope could conquer all.

Morpheus refused to leave your side. Meanwhile, he had put Lucienne in charge of the dreaming. Matthew had informed him that, if he did not leave the nursing home to pretend to sleep or eat, the nurses would soon call a witch trial or brand him an extra-terrestrial being, but he did not care. He sat in one the armchairs at your bed, day in and out. Night by night. A hundred years he had spent in a glass cage and yet he felt more pain in these few weeks than in that century.

Occasionally, his eyes would drift to your father’s form, who awoke from time to time without recognizing you or anyone else. But in that man’s dreams Morpheus could at least get a glimpse of you, even if you were only a child.  

He did not venture into your father’s dreams often, however. He preferred to watch you, hold you occasionally or press a kiss to your pale face. As long as he watched over you, as long as he could see you breathe, could hear your heart beat, he had hope.

Hope that he would yet get the chance to tell that he loved you with every fibre of his immortal being, more than he had ever loved anyone before. Every previous lover paled in comparison to you.

There was a knock on the door that Morpheus ignored. Whatever the interfering human might want was none of his concern.

The door opened and a throat was cleared.

He raised his face and his hope crumbled at his feet. Letting his head fall into his hands, he whispered: “No, please, no.”

She sighed as she stepped into the room. “Hello, little brother.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 11

In Eternitatem

She sat down next to Morpheus, resting her elbows on her knees and letting her head hang low in a similar fashion to his position.

“Why is it always you?”, she asked then, shaking her head slightly. “Everyone, even Delirium, manages to get by somewhat on their own, and then there’s you.”

“If you came simply to mock me –“, he started.

“You know that I am here for something else”, she interrupted him. “Or rather someone.”

Morpheus shook his head angrily, staring at his sister. “You cannot.”

Death stared back at him indignantly. “You act as if I choose when and where it happens. I’m just the escort.”

Pressing his lips together sullenly, Morpheus’ eyes trailed back to you. “I will not let you take her.”

Death snorted, shoving her hand against his shoulder. “Really, Dream, you are the stupidest, lovesick idiot I have ever met. You knew where this would end.”

“What are you talking about?”, he asked, swatting her hand away.

She stared at him as if he had lost his mind. “Hello?”, she waved her hand in front of his face. “The rules? None of us is allowed to fall in love with mortals, you dimwit. You remember, the rule you broke before, over ten-thousand years ago, and destroyed an entire kingdom?” She looked as if she was undecided whether to punch him or scream at him.

Morpheus’ brows furrowed in frustration. “I thought…”, but he left the sentence unfinished, shaking his head at his own stupidity.

“That the universe has changed its mind?”, she asked derogatorily. “Seriously?”

He did not know what to say, so he remained quiet, desperately following the shallow rise and fall of your chest with each breath.

“Dream”, she said, putting her hand on his arm, more gently this time. “These things do not change. Why did you think they would?”

“I…”, he swallowed thickly. “Nothing happened after we consummated. The last time… Nada’s kingdom was destroyed as the sun rose.”

“Your kingdom is littered in cracks and your mortal is lying here. I’d say that quite a bit happened.”

“But not immediately”, he argued back. “I am not telling you that it was a fool-proof assumption. I had just… hoped.”

Leaning back with a deep sigh, Death nodded slowly. “Well, I guess I can’t fault you for being a hopeful idiot.”

Under any other circumstances, Morpheus would have smiled. “I had sent her away. She was safe from me for a while”, he shook his head angrily. “I should have never let her come back.”

“Don’t get me started on that”, Death murmured, rolling her eyes angrily. “If only Desire could for once keep their nose out of other people’s businesses.”

“They only played on my weakness”, Morpheus admitted. “I should have known better. I did know better.”

“Well, we all know how you get when you are in love”, Death said, shooting him a challenging glare as he stared at her indignantly. “What? You are a hopeless romantic, always have been.” She threw her head back with a groan. “I can already see the dreams of existential crisis rolling over poor mankind once this is over. All of us will have our hands full with this mess for years. Despair is going to enjoy it very much.” Her nose wrinkled in disdain.

“Then let me keep her, sister”, Morpheus requested gently.

“Do you think that it’s that easy? Fuck”, Death cursed.

“You have granted Hob his wish, why can you not grant mine?”

Crossing her arms in front of her chest, she exhaled angrily. “Hob made a silly comment. We wanted to see how it would play out. No harm, no foul. But this”, she gestured in your direction, “broke the rules of the Cosmos. You are both in the middle of being punished. If I meddle with this now, no one can foresee how it might be retaliated.”

Silence ensued for a moment.

“Dream”, she said, leaning towards him again. “If I make her immortal now, it might not only destroy this realm and yours, but mine as well. I might be punished for interfering. Do you really want this entire world to end for one human?”

Yes, he thought impulsively. Unfortunately, with no world for you to live him, what would he gain?

“I’m not here for her, by the way”, Death finally admitted.

“What?”, Morpheus’ head whirled around, black eyes sparkling angrily at his sister. Now, he was undecided whether to punch or scream at her. “And you could not have led with that information?”

She shrugged. “What does it change? So, she’s not dying but staying like… this”, she waved her hand in your direction again. “Do you have any idea what it’s like in there? I imagine it’s not very nice.”

His eyes were back on your motionless face. “You mean to say that she will stay like this? For ever?”

“Well…”, Death hesitated, immediately regretting it as she saw the hope in his eyes. “She will. Unless you let her go.”

Morpheus’ face fell instantly.

“It’s not too late yet, brother”, she explained quickly. “End this love affair now and she will be set free and you will be able to repair the damage in your realm.”

“And if I do not?”, he asked quietly.

“She will remain like this until the day I will really come for her”, she said. “And your realm will continue to crack apart until it is irreversibly damaged.”

“Is that what the Lightbringer and Desire wanted?”, he wondered. “To see my kingdom fall apart?”

“You have to admit, it’s a brilliant plan, especially from Desire”, Death muttered. “You are practically on your knees and no family blood has been spilled.”

Morpheus let his face drop back into his hands with a groan.

“Affection is a fickle thing, brother, especially under mortals”, she continued. “Whether tomorrow, in a year or a decade, you will lose this mortal anyway. Or worse, she might not want you someday. Leave you willingly. What will you do then, punish her into all eternity, like Nada?”

Morpheus gave a wry chuckle. “I have freed Nada. Eternity seemed a bit… extreme, suddenly.”

“What?”, Death’s mouth dropped open. “Huh, I must have been busy that day. I hadn’t noticed.”

“She has been dead for ten-thousand years, technically”, he argued.

“Yeah, but I would have noticed it had I been looking”, she shook her head with a disbelieving grin. “Well, to be fair, I wasn’t keeping an eye on her. I would have never predicted that. Did she convince you to do it?”, she jerked her chin in your direction.

“In some way”, Morpheus explained. “She… had all right to scorn me, for certain mistakes I had made. And I could not bear her anger. Her forgiveness set me free.”

“So, you let Nada free”, Death nodded. “Seems like you actually learned something… Damn, that does make this harder.”

“If it needs to be done, it needs to be done”, Morpheus whispered, feeling as if he was being torn apart.

“Hang on a sec”, she got to her feet, walking up and down in front of him with a thoughtful expression on her face. “I wasn’t sure whether to tell you, but … How badly to you want to keep her?”, she asked suddenly.

“I…”, Morpheus blinked. “You must know that I love her, do not toy with me.”

“Yes, but you loved Calliope too”, she stated. “You took her as your wife. But she never ruled beside you in the Dreaming.”

“You want to know whether I would make her my Queen?”, Morpheus concluded, eyes wide with confusion. “After all you just said, that seems rather unlikely.”

“But would you?”

Morpheus looked back at you. Thought about the power, the part of his magic he had granted you in his realm. The space, that bedroom, he had carved out for you, something that was all yours within his kingdom. Those were the kind of gifts he had never bestowed on anyone before, on none of his previous lovers.

He thought about your smile, about the way you looked at him. Your skin against his skin. Your lips on his.

He could love you forever. He would love you forever. The light you had brought to his kingdom would never fade.

“Yes”, Morpheus confessed quietly.

Death kneeled in front of him, expression urging him to understand. “When Lucifer tried to prevent you from taking her out of hell and you gave some of your sand to her, they expected you to take it back, but you didn’t. You kept her as your subject. She is mortal and a part of the Dreaming. When she dies…”

“…she will have the right to choose”, Morpheus’ brows furrowed in confusion. “But what does it matter, whether she has the right to choose between the Dreaming and the Sunless Lands? I visited Nada in the Netherworld and offered her a place beside me and she was not my subject.”

“I know”, Death nodded. “But for the same reason that I fear to make her immortal now, I fear that the universe would not look kindly upon you taking her back once she has died if she were just mortal. Her soul would always remain that of a mortal. But as your subject, you are free to choose her and she is free to choose you. It is a loophole, the very same loophole that has let the two of you fare with your… let’s just say, activities, for this long. Had she just been a mortal, your kingdom and her life would have been ended months ago. But by the time the sun rose after you consummated this relationship, she was already carrying that part of you.”

Heart beating fast in his chest, Morpheus allowed himself to imagine such a future for a moment, before the picture crumbled before his very eyes.

“A mortal’s life moves fast”, he elaborated sadly. “If I let her go now and let her live an ordinary life, I will become a memory. She might not forget me, but she would move on eventually. I cannot ask her to be my Queen after an entire life without me.”

“Do you have so little faith in her love for you?”, Death asked as she sat back down in her chair and cocked her head sideways, truly curious.

“I have more faith in her than in myself”, he confessed quietly. “But I do want her to live. To fall in love and marry and have children. She should not be alone for an entire lifetime just because she is waiting for me.”

“Um… define a lifetime?”, Death asked carefully.

Morpheus stared at his sister. “Why? How long does she have left? Regardless of me?”

Death cleared her throat awkwardly. “Six years.”

“Six years?”, Morpheus asked incredulously. “Is she…”, he chanced a glance at you body, “… is she sick? Will she suffer?”

“No”, Death explained. “It will be a car accident. Drunk driver in the middle of the day. It’s quite tragic, actually.”

“That hardly seems fair”, Morpheus mumbled, upset by the lot life had dealt you.

“Yeah, well, what can I tell you, Dream?”, Death mumbled as she stared at her hands. “Life hardly is.”

Morpheus could not tear his eyes away from you. Six years. That would hardly be enough time to live a fulfilled life. To grow older, to get wrinkles. To have a family, to experience all the joys this world had to offer.

“And you cannot grant her more?”, Morpheus inquired. “When I leave her life now, you cannot give her more?”

“No. This was always her fate, even before she met you. But don’t you hear what I am telling you? Six years to live a human life. Do whatever she wants to do as long as she can walk this realm. And then, when I come to pick her up, she gets to choose. The Sunless Lands and eventually a new life or the Dreaming and you.”

Morpheus pressed his hands together, lost in thought. He would not have to wait for you for seventy years or more. You would not have to face almost a century of loneliness just to be with him. Not have to renounce all the things a normal life could give you. Just six years.

“It will have to be her choice”, he finally said.

“True”, she nodded. “And remember: You cannot be together in the mean-time. You can love each other from afar, but not live it. Otherwise, there will be coma or worse for her and cracks and destruction for your realm.”

Morpheus nodded contemplatively.

Death smiled slowly and put her hand on his shoulder. “I came here to tell you that you are a love-struck moron who can’t keep it in his pants, but… if she changed you enough that you let forgiveness into your heart, maybe she is special. If you love her enough to want her to be your Queen forever then… you should have the chance to do so.”

He swallowed, throat seizing up in anticipation. It was still your choice. He had been rejected before.

“I look forward to, in six years, meet the mortal who has bewitched my brother so completely. Regardless of either of your choices”, Death leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Think about it, little brother. I have work to do.”

“Thank you, my sister”, Morpheus said and his eyes followed her as she got up and just now did he see that your father was sitting up in his bed slowly, staring around with wide, alert eyes. It almost seemed as if he had awoken from a very long dream.  

“Hello”, Death said kindly and knelt in front of him.

Your father nodded calmly in understanding as he looked at her smiling face for a moment. “I’m ready”, he declared and took her hand as he got out of the bed. “Tell me, should I… should I be afraid?”

“No”, Death said his name gently and smiled. “Not a man like you.”

He nodded gracefully. His eyes fell on his daughter and then on Morpheus.

“Oh. No…”, he mumbled, voice sounding pained. “Will she… will she get better?”

“Yes”, Death looked at her brother with a twinkle in her eyes. “I believe she will.”

Your father looked at Morpheus as if realisation dawned on him, a sort of universal understanding. “Take good care of my little girl”, he demanded quietly. “Please.”

“I will”, Morpheus declared solemnly.

____________________________________

For the first time in weeks, Morpheus left your side for a while, to let the nurses and doctors take care of your father’s body in peace. He walked the streets of the small town, occasionally listening in on the dreams of strangers.

He dreaded to return to you. To make that choice.

But it had to be done. And he would await your choice as gracefully and enduringly as he could.

Upon his return to your side, he had made his decision: as long as you lived this mortal life, he would not step to your side. He would not meet you in this realm or this. He might watch you from afar, but there would be no touch, no talk, no solace.

As soon as he had made that choice, he could feel something, a gentle tug within his heart. The cosmos had understood and made its judgement.

Once again, he took your face in his hands and bent down, forehead resting against yours, and he started to search with closed eyes. There, in the darkness was a glimmering light, frail and alone.

He hesitated to reach out. At this moment he could still imagine whatever your answer to his question would be. Dream about it.

Hope.

As soon as he heard you speak it, the decision would be final and there would be no going back.

Sighing deeply, Morpheus reached out.

_________________________________

The darkness was all encompassing. All consuming.

It was different from the darkness of the night or the darkness behind one’s eyelids. No, this darkness did not simply exist, but it sucked everything in. Every sound, every motion, every feeling.

Had you been here for minutes of months? Seconds or years? You didn’t know.

You had no body. No eyes to see, no voice to scream, no skin to feel.

Was this place could? You couldn’t possibly know.

You wished you did. You wished there was some kind of torture, some sort of pain, surely that would have been better then this jarring nothingness.

It felt like eons before there was suddenly a small gleam in the darkness. Another light in the distance.

And then there was another. And those twinkling twin stars, they looked like… eyes?

Morpheus!, you had wanted to scream. I am here!

But you had still no voice.

The lights blinked in the darkness and then disappeared. Had you had knees and eyes, you would have crumbled to the floor and cried.

A strange feeling followed, a weird tug and you suddenly felt your face and a cold hand against your re-awakening skin. “Morpheus?”, you whispered timidly and in front of you, at the height where his head should be, his eyes reappeared.

“Yes”, he replied quietly. “I am here.”

Now you did have knees to fall to the floor and so they did. You sobbed at the relief of something hard beneath you, of having hands to feel and eyes to cry. Morpheus was on the floor with you in the next moment and pulled you into his lap. There was still absolute darkness apart from his eyes, but his touch was such a comfort that, for a moment, you let yourself feel hope.

“Am I dead?”, you cried as his hand buried itself in your hair and he pressed your face against his neck.

“No”, he answered, voice so deep and delicious that it filled your entire body, as if it coursed through your very veins instead of blood. “The Sunless Lands are not this cruel. This is another place.”

Feeling upward, your fingers brushed over his lips before you found his shoulders to hold him closer. “Where am I? What is this place?”

“It is our punishment”, he said, voice sounding strained. “A place without dreaming or waking. Nothing to see or hear or touch or feel. Nothing to live for.”

You couldn’t help but sob again. “Punishment? For what?”

“You know it”, he whispered and you could feel his lips trembling against your forehead. “It is forbidden for us to love one another.”

“But you said that you are just infatuated with –“

“Oh, my sweet little dreamer”, Morpheus said passionately. “How can you not see what is right in front of you? What I have felt for you all this time?”

“Oh, Morpheus”, you murmured as you pressed your lips blindly against his face. “I love you too.”

His fingers brushed you chin and he tilted your head so that he could kiss your lips. “And that, my love, will only aggravate our suffering”, he said then.

“What do you mean?”, you sniffed slightly.

“I cannot leave you here, in this darkness”, he explained in a forced detached voice. “And I cannot keep you with me without risking the destruction of my kingdom. This… this simply cannot be.”

You nodded as silent tears slid down your cheeks. “I am so sorry”, you muttered against his chest. “I should have never returned. I should have counted my lucky stars that you held me once and just let it be. You told me and I –“

“No”, Morpheus interrupted you and pulled his arms tighter around your body, kissing you passionately. “I do not regret one second you have spent in my arms. Do you? Do you wish you had never lain in our bed with me? Never held my hand beneath the Dreaming’s sun?”

You shook your head. “No”, you confessed quietly. “I just wish I hadn’t caused you pain.”

“You have enriched my life, little one”, he confessed. “I would endure eons of suffering just to hold the memory of you. You are carved upon my heart, little dreamer. In a million years, I will still love you as I have never loved any other.”

You gasped, fingers curling into the lapels of his coat to pull him closer. “This is so unfair!”, you cried against the soft fabric. “Why can’t we just be together?”

“Close your eyes”, he whispered in your ear, lifting you in his arms. “Close your eyes and hold on tightly.”

And you did. After nothing more than a moment, Dream let you to your feet again.

“Open your eyes”, he instructed and you did, immediately flinching away from the light.

“Where are we?”, you asked as you squinted carefully into the sun.

“At the Gate of Horn”, Morpheus explained and your mouth dropped in awe. The gate was enormous, far more enormous than any door you had ever seen. Upon it were a thousand intricate carvings, but the most prominent were the ones of Morpheus’ helm.

“This gate is one way to enter my realm.”

“We are back in the Dreaming?”, you asked. “I thought I wouldn’t be allowed back? That we would be punished?”

“No”, Morpheus said. “It is simply a representation of the Dreaming I have created in your subconsciousness for the time being. It is a perfect replica, but there are no subjects in it. No dreams or nightmares. You will not find Lucienne, Mervyn or any raven here.”

You turned back to Morpheus, distracted for a moment by the delight that you could see his beautiful form. “Why did you bring me here?”, you asked nervously.

His eyes met yours, no longer starlight upon black but their usual, gentle pale blue. “To make you see what I have to offer you.”

“Offer me?”, you furrowed your brows. “I don’t understand.”

Morpheus stepped forward, his hand brushing the gate with nothing more than his fingertips and the gate opened. From behind him, you stared over the landscape of the Dreaming in all its expanse and glory.

“You have a beautiful kingdom, Dream Lord”, you admitted quietly as you let your eyes sweep over the hills and rivers, the small houses and the giant palace.

Morpheus took your hand in his, interlacing your fingers and pulled you forward. “When you fell asleep in my realm, I could not find you”, he told you while you walked down the path towards the palace. “I came to you in the waking world but your mind was empty. I could not break into the nothingness that held you captive. Cosmic punishment is far more powerful than I am.”

“How did you find me now?”, you asked curiously.

“Because I decided to let you go… and my decision will not waver this time”, he added.

Your face paled as your heart beat painfully fast in your chest. So, this was it. This was the ending of your love story.

“My sister visited me today”, he continued.

“Which one?”, you asked, trying to feign interest, despite your broken heart seeming to seize the life out of you.

“Death. You should know that she came for your father.”

Your steps came to a sudden halt as you stared at him with wide eyes. “My dad is dead?”

“Yes”, Morpheus nodded. “He left this life honourably and fearlessly.”

Pressing your lips together, you found a moment of peace in all this mess. “That is good. Then he is finally free of his broken body.”

“I had feared she might have come for you”, he went on, pulling you forward. “You have been gone for quite some time, my love. Your friend had you put in the same room as your father where caretakers watched over you. And I, of course.”

You nodded, trying to take all the information in as fast as possible.

“My sister… she was angry with me. For knowingly breaking the rules by being with you. But she also explained something to me.” You had almost reached his palace and he stopped, turning to you to take your face in his hands.

“Do you remember when Lucifer wanted to keep you in hell and I had to bestow some of my magic onto you?”, he asked suddenly.

Your brows furrowed. “Of course. I almost peed my pants because I was so scared.”

Morpheus nodded. “I told Matthew that I could take my magic from you at any time. But I did not. I was so anxious to make you leave my realm as to not answer your questions that I… I believe I simply forgot. That is how you managed to dream yourself into my palace. Why you were able to control your dreams still, even if less than before.”

You gaped at him. “So, it was all an accident?” You couldn’t help but laugh.

You had just gotten lucky.

Or not.

Depending on the angle with which you looked at the following events.

“You are still a subject of my kingdom. Still under my rule”, Morpheus pressed his forehead against yours. “As a mortal, you will die someday and my sister will come to collect you for the Sunless Lands. As a subject to the Dreaming, however, you will be given a choice: you can receive passage to the Sunless Lands where all bodyless souls travel, or you can enter the Dreaming to stay here forever… with me.”

You stared at him with wide eyes. “And… and you would want that?”, you asked carefully.

His eyes were closed as his nose brushed your cheeks. “Very much so.”

“And then we could be together?”, you asked, eyes still wide with hope. “I just… have to die?”

He removed his head from yours, staring down at you with narrowed eyes. Suspiciously. “Yes…”

“Done”, you replied quickly. “Deal.”

His brows furrowed. “You have not died yet –“

“Then I will”, you argued. “I could – I could –“

“You will most certainly not kill yourself”, he interrupted you angrily.

You blinked back at him. “So, what, you want me to wait until I’m eighty? A hundred? There’s nothing –“

“What about your sister?”, Morpheus argued. “Your best friend? Your school? There is a life you wanted before all this. A life that you still want. Places you want to see. People you will meet.” Morpheus shook his head. “Your eagerness flatters me, but you should not be hasty. Once you die, there is no going back. You will leave the waking world behind for ever.”

“Oh…”, you mumbled, lowering your eyes in shame. “But… will you be able to visit me? In my dreams?”

“No”, Morpheus confessed. “Once you wake from this place, we cannot see each other until the day that you die, unless we want to risk even more calamity. Possibly the destruction of our worlds.”

Tears gathered in your eyes. “I can’t to that”, you whispered. “I don’t want to do that. Decades without you, I don’t want…”, a sob left you.

Morpheus stared at you, obviously deep in thought. “It would not… it would not be that long.”

Your eyes whipped up to his. “What do you mean? Did your sister tell you when I will die?”

He nodded slowly. “I cannot tell you when. I want you to live your life to the fullest, not expect to –“

“Tell me”, you demanded. “Tell me how long, or I’ll kill myself when I wake up.”

“Don’t you dare”, Morpheus hissed, black eyes sparkling at yours.

“Try me”, you challenged sullenly.

Letting his head hang low, the King of Dreams scowled slightly in defeat. “Less than a decade. That is all the information I will give you.”

Your mouth dropped open. You wouldn’t even live to celebrate your thirty-second birthday? “What…”, you swallowed. “What is wrong with me? Do I…do I have cancer or something?”

His lips twitched. “A moment ago, you wanted to kill yourself”, he reminded you. “But no. You will not suffer in such a way. It is simply your fate, regardless of what you or I do.”

“Oh, okay”, you mumbled, mind already racing what else it might be.

“Promise me”, Morpheus demanded as he pulled you close to him again. “Promise me that you will live your mortal life to the fullest. That you will do anything in your power to ensure that you leave this world without regret when my sister comes for you.”

“I…”, you hesitated.

Ten years. It was a long time and yet it wasn’t. Somehow, it was perfect. Enough time to live a little. But not too long until you could be with Morpheus again. Especially compared to eternity.

“Yes, I do want to live my life to the fullest”, you admitted quietly. “Whether its just one more year or ten, I do want to live.”

“Good”, Morpheus whispered. “But you should know, if you choose the Dreaming after your death, you will never enter the Netherworld. You will never be reborn. For the rest of your existence, you will be the one you are now.”

“I kinda like the one I am now”, you shrugged and couldn’t help but grin a little. “The one I am now made an Endless fall in love with her, how bad can she be?”

Morpheus smiled at you.

“And you would want that?”, you asked then. “I mean, to have me here forever?”

“Yes”, he replied.

“But I’m tweny-one”, you argued. “There is still so much experience I should get, so much growing up I have to do. When you meet me again, I will have changed. And I will change even further if I’m going to spend an eternity here.”

“Yes, I have learned that all things are subjects to change. Mortals more than others. But –“, he explained and pressed a kiss to your temple, “ – it is your soul that I want. Rare and precious as it is. No matter what you experience and live through, it will remain the same. My love for you will remain the same.”

“But how sure can you be?”, you asked, still insecure. Eternity was a concept that you could not even begin to comprehend, and he wanted to spent all of it with you. “You have been in love before and it didn’t work out. What if this doesn’t work out?”

“I have never loved like this”, he said. “I have faith in us. I hope for us. You want to know how certain I am?”

And in the next moment the scenery changed. He had whisked you away into the palace and climbed the steps to his throne, pulling you up the stairs behind him with your hand still in his.

“What are you -?”, you asked in surprise as you reached the top and Morpheus pressed you onto the throne with his hands on your shoulders.

Then, he kneeled in front of you. “I would make you my wife”, he explained, his eyes never leaving yours. “I would make you the Queen of my realm. I would share everything I have with you and give you as much power over me as any being within this kingdom can have. That is how certain I am of my love.” He hesitated then, wetting his lips. “If you would want that.”

You gaped at him, head spinning with all that he had just said.

You would die.

You could live eternally in the Dream realm.

You could become the Queen of Dreams.

If you wanted. “I…”, your voice faltered. “How could I be a Queen? I don’t… I can’t rule. I don’t know anything about it. Who would respect me?”

Morpheus stared at you, expression incredulous for a moment. “Have you not noticed? My subjects have themselves already crowned you Queen without my doing. Chosen you as their Lady. Matthew holds more loyalty in his heart for you than for me, I am afraid.”

“Huh”, you made, blinking into the distance.

It all made sense now. That they would call you my Lady. The weird looks you would get. Their timidly lowered gazes, their willingness to help you with whatever you might want or need.

How awed they had all been at the powers you had developed in the Dreaming.

“But if you do not want to be my Queen…”, Morpheus started, gaze cast down as he slowly removed himself from you.

“No, no”, you interrupted him and slid from the throne, right into his lap. “I want to. I want to be everything I can for you.” You kissed his face distractedly while you spoke, not minding where your lips would land. His cheeks, his brow, his forehead, his eyelids. “It’s just… you are offering me your entire world and I feel… undeserving. Like I am not enough. How can I ever be a queen as you are a king.”

Again, he took your face in his hands and pressed his forehead to yours. “Close your eyes”, he demanded.

You did and could see yourself and him in the throne room suddenly, as if you had left your body. “What is this?”, you asked in surprise. You could still feel his hands on you, his forehead against yours, but behind your eyelids was another image. Like a vision.

“If I were to dream as mortals do”, Morpheus’ voice answered. “This is what I would see.”

And so, you looked.

There were two thrones now on top of those stairs. One was slightly smaller than the other, more intricate, more detailed in its carvings. Your alter ego climbed those steps and she changed her dress with a dismissive flick of her hand. It changed into a black robe, similar to his coat, just shorter and adorned with lace. The other Morpheus smiled at you as he took his seat beside you, readying yourselves to listen to your subjects’ requests and to give council.

Then the next image. You, walking through the palace, the gardens, the realm, changing and creating things at your whim, because this kingdom was yours.

You and Lucienne in the library, having become close friends, sharing your work.

You fixing things for Merv in secret, despite the fact that you knew Morpheus didn’t want you to, just to give the pumpkin more time for himself and his stinking cigars.

Endless jokes with Matthew, who proudly called himself your raven now, making Morpheus frown at his face and smile behind his back.

You would meet Cain and Abel and adore their gargoyles. You would call Goldie Irving, just because you found it funny to see Cain trying to act annoyed despite the fact that he actually liked his Queen and to see Abel practically squeal in delight.

You would pet the Gryphon, the Wyvern and the Hippogryph, ignoring Morpheus accusation that they would grow too soft.

The next image. You would council Morpheus on how to handle his enemies and help him with his responsibilities when he grew wary. You would listen to his problems with his siblings and console him.

You would walk among the dreams of humans.

You would walk among the dreams of all the people you had loved in your mortal life, grown old or reborn.

You gasped as you were in the bedroom with the next image, watching as Morpheus and you made love. Time had passed, you knew the other’s body as well as your own and yet it would always remain thrilling. You would never tire of the feel of his pale skin, the touch of his hands and the beauty of his body.

Another image. The last one in this dream.

A child. Still young, with chubby cheeks and a beautiful smile. With snow-white skin and familiar jet-black and wild hair. With your eyes.

Tears were streaming down your face as Morpheus pulled you back from his vision.

“This is my dream”, he confessed and kissed your lips sweetly.

“This is how you see me?”, you asked quietly. “This is how you see our future?”

“Yes.”

“And you would want that for an eternity?”

“As long as living beings exist, yes.”

You swallowed, rubbing your cheek against his softly. “And the child?”

His eyes met yours. “I… I had a son once”, he replied carefully. “And I have made many mistakes. I would like to have another chance. I would like… to create something that is you and me. Ours.”

You brushed your fingers over his cheek. “One day, when we are together again, you will have to tell me all about your son and what happened to him.”

He nodded timidly at your serious tone.

“But…”, you continued. “I think I would like that too. I think I would – no, I want to have your child.”

Morpheus surged forward, his mouth pressing against yours in a wild kiss. His tongue brushed past your lips, stroking yours and you moaned as you rocked your body into his.

“Will you be my wife?”, he asked within the moment when your lips were not touching.

“Yes”, you whispered.

“Will you be my Queen?”

“Yes.”

He kissed you again and you kissed him. Behind your closed eyes, you could still see his vision, slowly adding pictures of your own. A swollen stomach. The patter of little feet within these walls. Rooms that you had created on your own, with little beds and cradles.

The delight of all of your subjects to have children in this realm.

Not just one child. Children.

A family.  

“I love you”, you whispered desperately against his skin.

“And I love you”, he declared.

You were still sitting in his lap before his throne and tore away reluctantly. “Once you send me back into my body… we won’t meet again until I die?”, you needed to make certain that you understood.

“Yes”, he clarified.

“How… how much time do we have left?”, you asked, not able to hide your blush.

Morpheus smiled slightly. “I believe I can steal us a moment more.”

And with that you were in your shared bedroom, the room that would always be your bedroom, with your wedding bed.

Morpheus brushed his hand down your back and you realised that you were both naked suddenly, clothes left behind somewhere in this dream.

You stood at the middle of the room and went up on your tip toes to wind your arms around his neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his collarbones and throat.

Impatiently, Morpheus lifted you from your feet, pulling your legs around his waist and kissed your mouth hungrily. You put your hands in his hair without shame, pulling at the roots just to hear him moan.

Your wet centre brushed his length and you shuddered, grinding against him.

Stepping forward, Morpheus dropped your body to the bed unceremoniously and you couldn’t help but giggle as you bounced on the mattress. He was on you in a second, kissing your jaw, your throat and your shoulders.

“I will imagine the touch of your skin every day”, he moved as he dragged his lips over your breast and took your nipple into his mouth. You moaned as he touched the other.

His mouth brushed down further, tongue dipping into your navel briefly, forcing another breathless giggle from you. Then, he slid from the bed again, on his knees between your open legs. With his hands on your waist, he pulled you to the edge of the mattress and mouthed along your lower lips softly.

“I kneel before, my Queen”, he whispered, his deep voice shooting through your body like lightning bolts.

You moaned as he worshipped you like this. It all seemed still so unreal to you, all that he had offered you, but in this moment, you truly felt like a queen.

You came with his tongue inside of you, blushing as he drank greedily. It seemed as if he didn’t want to stop, to draw as much from you as he could in these brief moments before you would be separated for years, but you could not bear it.

You needed him.

With your hand in his hair, you pulled him up, kissing your taste from his lips without embarrassment.

He had taught you a lot in the weeks you had stolen in his realm before all this. Had taught you how to please him, how to move against him in a number of positions and places, but this was not the moment for experimentation.

This was not just a moment of passion or lust.

Not a moment of infatuation.

This was love.

Hoisting you further up the bed, Morpheus entered you with every possible inch of his body touching yours. You moaned into each other’s mouth, sharing the same breath.

This was what it felt like to be loved. To love in return.

You had never felt anything quite like it.

And you knew that you never would, until you would see him again.

Tears were in your eyes at the beauty of that moment, but you pressed them firmly shut, willing your mind to stay in the here and now.

Leaning up slightly, Morpheus pulled one of your legs over his shoulders, thrusting into you hard and fast, no longer able to hold back.

There was a glimmering sheen of sweat on both of your bodies and your skin was gliding over his with delicious friction. You gasped as he entered you even deeper, his eyes never leaving your face as his other hand brushed your clit.

You moaned shamelessly as you came around him, head thrown back into the pillow.

He let go of your leg and pushed his body as tightly as he could against yours when he released inside of you, his breath feeling hot against your face. You kissed his forehead, hand sweeping through his slightly wet hair as he rolled off of you a while later, pulling you into his arms.

His fingertips felt his release on your thighs and then brushed over your stomach. “You should know, we could simply create a child –“

“No”, you interrupted him, shaking your head against his shoulder. “I want to carry them. To give birth. If we are going to do this, we will do it right.”

“Them?”, Morpheus asked in surprise.

You leaned your head back and grinned up at him. “You’ll get used to the idea. Your Queen has spoken.”

He smiled as he kissed the tip of your nose. “So she has.”

Tears were springing back to your eyes. “I do not want to go”, you whispered, hiding your face in the crook of his neck.

“I know”, he replied. “I do not want you to go either. But we cannot stay.”

You sighed deeply. “The sooner we go, the sooner we will see each other again. Ten years max, right?”

“Right.”

Your breath shuddered as the tears escaped your eyes. “Will you watch over me? In my dreams?”

He pulled you tighter against him, making breathing hard, but you wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. “I will always watch over you, no matter whether light or dark. You might see Matthew from time to time, but you cannot speak to him. There may be no direct contact between us.”

“I understand”, you nodded as you tried to suppress a sob. “Just… don’t neglect your kingdom, okay. I know that you have duties.”

“As my Lady commands”, he vowed. “You will, however, carry my heart with you. So, you see, I will be by your side, one way or another, until we meet again.”

A small sob escaped you and you tried to hide it by kissing him. As you pulled away, you could see tears on his face and cried even harder.

“And my heart will be with you, King of Dreams”, you declared as you brushed your forehead against his. “You will have to take good care of it. I will come one day to check on it.”

“And when that day comes, I will never let you go”, he replied as his tears fell onto your skin.

“We should go”, you murmured. “Before we figure out that we can’t.”

Morpheus nodded. “Yes, my love. I believe you are right.”

You kissed him, one last time.

Not more than ten years. You could do this. Ten years seemed laughable against eternity.

Or at least until all living things would stop to exist.

“I love you”, both of you whispered against each other’s lips at the same time.

You couldn’t help but smile slightly. “I will think about you every night in my dreams.”

“And I will count the days”, Morpheus said.

Sniffing slightly, you looked back into his eyes. “I want you to say it.”

His brows furrowed. “What?”

Your mouth curved into a slight smile. “That.”

His lips twitched. “I thought you hated the feeling.”

“I think I might need it now. To know that this is the end of this chapter. So that I can start the new one. Until we meet again.” You took a deep breath. “Say it. I want you to.”

You closed your eyes as he pressed his forehead back against yours.

“This dream is over.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 12

Epilogue

Morpheus stood in front of his throne, heart heavy and tears still in his eyes.

Six years. They should be nothing but the blink of an eye in the life of an Endless and yet he knew the seconds would drag by agonizingly slow.

One of the windows behind his throne had shifted itself into an image of you, as vivid and fresh as his memory was at that moment. That way it would remain until he could touch you again. Raising his hand, he started to alter the room, the platform on top of the stairs growing larger wider.

Your throne would have to be different from his. Smaller, more intricate. He had had a vision of it and would try to do it justice. To do you justice.

His Queen.

Lucienne would know what it meant. The entire realm would know what it meant.

Good, he wanted them to know. Wanted them to wait just as anxiously for your return as he would.

With a slight smile and a shake of his head he noted that he should visit Desire and thank them for delivering his Queen to him when he had strayed from her. He was certain that it would make them absolutely livid.

Maybe one day. For now, he had his kingdom to attend to. There were cracks he had to heal.

He had promised his Queen that he would not neglect her realm.

__________________________________________

You opened your eyes, lashes still wet with tears.

“Oh God”, Mike sobbed and was on you immediately, holding your hands and enveloping you in a hug. “God, I thought I’d never see you wake up again”, he mumbled.

You sighed in relief. Yes, no matter how much pain would await you during your separation from Morpheus, it was better than the darkness that had held you captive these past weeks.

“Me too, buddy, me too”, you mumbled as you hugged him back.  

Someone called your name suddenly and you stiffened in surprise. Mike let go of you and in the next moment your little sister jumped onto the bed.

“Hey, baby”, you called and hugged her fiercely. It was so good to see her in the waking world again, but you were also surprised. “What are you doing here? I haven’t seen you in so long.”

“Yeah, but I dreamt about you a lot”, you sister grinned at you, her front teeth missing. “Mommy brought me over. Said something about a nightmare and that I should make sure that you’re okay.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Well, thank you very much for looking after me, honey”, you said and ruffled her hair.

Her face fell quickly. “Yeah, but your daddy, he…”

You could see Mike’s sad expression over her tiny shoulder as he looked at your father’s empty bed.

Swallowing thickly, you nodded. “That’s okay, I… his body was just his cage now. I’ve made my peace with it. I have… I have said goodbye to him.”

“I’m afraid there’s more”, Mike said as he chewed on his lip. “If you don’t wanna hear it I’ll wait until you’re out of here, but the way I know you… I guess you’ll want to know right away.”

“What is it?”, you asked with furrowed brows.

“That – that Morpheus-guy”, Mike started. “Your boyfriend, I guess… he left. He said he won’t be coming back. I’m so sorry.”

Biting down on your lower lip, you nodded your head again. “Yeah, okay. That’s okay. I know that I will see him again.”

“But –“, Mike started.

“How do you know?”, your sister interrupted him, eyes wide with curiosity.

You smiled, despite the tears burning behind your eyes, and tabbed the tip of her nose. “Because I love him.”

She grinned at you. “And when will you see him again?”

“I don’t know”, you confessed. “It could be quite a long time. But I will see him again. It’s fate, because he loves me too.”

Her lips pursed in confusion. “But won’t you miss him in the meantime? While he’s gone?”

“Yes, very much so”, you whispered. “But he is right here with me.”

Because I hold his heart.

And he holds mine.

The King of Dreams will be right here with me, until I die.

And for far longer.