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“It ain’t about how hard you can hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”
- Rocky (2006)
“You’re so…slight”
“What do you mean by that?”
I sat up from my position, suddenly feeling the coldness of a breeze hit my back. I imagine Mingi’s slight chest felt the same way from me pulling away. He certainly looked like it, eyes flitting to meet my own at my departure from his torso. I wouldn’t normally be lying on top of Mingi but we had eaten a picnic as an activity for our long-awaiting meetup and Mingi lied down after eating to stare at the sky. I always felt uncomfortable lying on hard ground and I forgot to pack a pillow or even bring a coat to roll up. It was too warm for a coat that day anyways. He suggested I lie down on him and before I protested, he said that there wasn’t anyone here to sneer at us since it was our secret spot. We both also knew we were friends and nothing would change that. I shrugged, not seeing the need to argue. Usually, I listened to what Mingi had to say and he would do the same for me. We knew each other better than ourselves sometimes. I did lie down carefully, the both of us staring at the faint, wispy clouds trying to mask a beautiful blue sky. I could feel Mingi’s heartbeat and the rise of his ribcage on the back of my head, both very rhythmic and so very prominent. Which is why I sat up, commenting on his slightness out of the blue.
“Lanky. Like a bird. Sure, you have muscle but it’s slim under all that bone. I think it looks like that more so because of your insane height”
“You say it like it’s a bad thing. Maybe I should eat more. Never too late for bulking season.” He sat up too, looking down at his tummy.
I shook my head vigorously. “No, that’s not what I meant. I mean it as a compliment. I’ve always liked people with slight figures, they look so graceful. No disrespect but people that have mega muscles just terrify me.”
“Yeosang terrifies you, huh?” his mouth quirks in amusement. Yeosang is the softest thing known to man but recently he’d been hitting the gym and it’s been showing. Mingi had asked Yeosang to give him gym sessions after seeing his hard work pay off, for what reason I have no idea. Mingi looks amazing the way he is but I know he won’t consider my puny opinion; after all, I’m his best friend and I’m obligated to think highly of him.
“Well, he didn’t at first…” I trail off since I didn’t want to say that part of me was slightly intimidated by this new Yeosang, even though it really suited him. How do I say it’s just not my cup of tea?
“Wait till I meet Yeosang tonight, I gonna-”
I turned around to climb on top of him, cupping my hand over his mouth trying to silence him. He grabbed me by the waist to try and get me off, laughing. Soon I was laughing too. We broke apart gasping for air. I then processed what Mingi had said.
“Wait you’re meeting Yeosang tonight?”
“Yeah, I forgot to tell you. I decided to start boxing. After my… incident, Yeosang actually suggested it. Something about discipline. He has a friend from the club, this guy called Choi Jongho, who helped him get into it. The kid is something of a beast. Yeosang said he can apparently split apples with his bare hands”
“No.”
Mingi nodded. He went to lie down again. Being so tall gave him the burden of lower back problems but I think it’s because he doesn’t know how to sit up with good posture. Not that I do really. But he is often more comfortable standing up or lying down. I lied down again, feeling his chest thrum with warm vibrations whenever he spoke.
“Yeah. Well, I enjoy boxing, the coach says I’m pretty good and that he wants to start privately coaching me for tournaments and stuff and I’m considering it. He says I have good technique and that’s hard to learn.”
“Have you heard anything from the Uni committee?”
“Should be sometime next week. I’m going to base my decision to take boxing up professionally or not depending on the outcome. Otherwise I’m keeping it on for a casual extracurricular but not competing.”
I looked up to the sky, thinking about a future with Mingi competing. He was currently at university with me and he’s been hunting for a pastime to break up his degree. If he still had a degree to get back to. I’ll explain that later. I’d already found a hobby through uni: I went to a book club every week and it was pretty low maintenance so it left me with enough time to study Nursing. Mingi had chosen a course that he found very easy and so the assignments didn’t take him very long. The only reason that he went to university was that I begged him to, I knew that he would rather take a break and explore the world but I wanted him to have some stable sort of foundation for a future before he chose to enter the big world. He did agree, saying it would be cool to meddle in songwriting and production, particularly since he liked to rap. We luckily got into the same university and the rest was history.
The layout of the campus that we were both on felt very much like a high school campus. Everyone was so close to each other and even the recreational and eating facilities were so claustrophobic close that naturally people were all in each other’s spaces even though we did widely different degrees. Not to mention the intake of undergraduates was small, heightening the fact that everyone pretty much knew everyone and their business. This is why everyone knew Mingi as Mr Pulp. Because of the incident.
<3
It happened in our first semester. We’d settled into our lectures, gotten used to the sheer amount of independent work that was required of us, and started to truly feel like adults. Nursing was an interesting course. We often had modules that were also with the medics and sometimes even the vets came in. But overall it was a lot more chill than what they had to go through. I met Yeosang in my Nursing course. He was a soft and sweet boy in the first semester, with large eyes and delicate features. We started seeing each other in all of our lectures and then started talking and we became really good friends.
Mingi couldn’t thank me enough for convincing him to go to university with me. He really enjoyed the production side of things since he got to work with some big names on masterclasses. I hadn’t actually heard anything he’d written but there was a showcase every semester and all the people studying the Arts usually presented something that went towards their final grade. Mingi had worked with a senior in the year above, Hongjoong and their song really went down well with the crowd when they played it. Mingi said it was all Hongjoong but once I spoke to Hongjoong to congratulate him, he said that Mingi had what he didn’t and that their teamwork was what got them through.
Yeosang and I walked out of our Pharmacology lecture that day, heading towards the locker room to dump our stuff while we would go get lunch. We had some sort of a placement that afternoon and I wanted to get rid of any notes so that travelling would be easier. Plus I could pick them up the next day to take home. We reached the locker room, excited about the excursion. Mingi was standing, headphones on and eyes closed, probably listening to the progress of one of his assignments. He opened his eyes and they brightened when they locked with mine. He took his headphones off, pausing the song, abruptly stopping the faint noise bleeding out. He nodded in acknowledgement of my presence and gave Yeosang one of those weird man-bro hugs. They had surprisingly hit it off.
“You ready for lunch? They have tangy chicken on today.”
Yeosang smiled. “It’s about time,” He looked over to me as I struggled to push my folder into my very high locker. Mingi without a word came from behind to help me. He didn’t touch me but I could feel the shortness of the distance between us. It was comforting and something I felt often when I stood with Mingi behind me. I then closed my locker when I remembered that I need to pick up an outline from the professor and I had completely forgotten.
“Shoot, I forgot to pick up Wesley’s outline and I said I’d get it by today. I’ll catch up with you guys?”
Yeosang nodded but Mingi looked concerned.
“You sure you don’t want us there? I hear Wesley can be quite annoying when someone interrupts his lunch break.”
“Oh Wesley doesn’t mind me at all plus he’s expecting me. You lot go ahead.”
Mingi nodded and they both left talking about something or other. I headed to Wesley’s office and picked up my outline. It wasn’t that bad and it was a pretty quick errand. I went to pop it back into my locker. I closed my locker to find someone standing there. Patterson Levitt. The university’s star player, the classic jock. He was my locker neighbour so it was no surprise that we conversed a lot. Other than that though, I wouldn’t say I knew the guy. He’d always nod in my direction as acknowledgement whenever we saw each other around campus and depending on how busy he was or who he was with, he’d come and speak to me. I think he just likes my humour, to be honest. So it didn’t scare me that he was there.
“Hey.” He leaned on his locker facing me.
“Hi.” I put my outline in the locker and closed the door.
“How’ve you been?”
“Not too bad. Kinda hungry but I’m going to grab some lunch now. Yourself?”
“I’ve just eaten. Listen there was something I wanted to ask you.” He licked his lips.
I was confused and also slightly irritated. I had been polite to Patterson every time I saw him but that was just to be friendly and not to come across as rude. Besides I didn’t want Yeosang to clear off to the placement without me, knowing full well he would if it meant avoiding being late. Yeosang drove us usually to our placements and missing him meant cycling .
“Ask away”
“Well, I know we don’t talk much but I think you’re really sweet and I’ve been meaning to ask…”
“Ayo, Patterson, my man, where have you been?” One of Patterson’s friends, who I didn’t know came up to us both and gave him a handshake of some sort. Patterson looked embarrassed at first but brushed it off, plastering a smile.
“Just catching up. You alright to give me a couple of minutes?”
The friend looked confused before his face relaxed into realisation. “Ahh, sure, my man, go shoot your shot. Pretty bird, she is.” It dawned on me in this horrible moment that Patterson was in fact trying to ask me out. Patterson painfully smiled and the guy went away and he turned to be
“So as I was saying…”
I wanted to shut him down as soon as possible. “Look Patterson, with all due respect, I’ve only spoken to you in the past just because I didn’t want to seem rude. I’m sure you’re a lovely guy but I’m not really interested. I hope this doesn’t change anything”
“But you don’t know what I’m asking-”
“Oh I’m perfectly aware. You’re trying to ask me out. Correct me if I’m wrong.”
He looked shocked. It was probably the first time someone had turned him down.
He finally spoke “Oh. Well, won’t you even consider a dinner or even a coffee dat- I mean a meetup or…”
“I’m sorry, I just don’t see you that way.”
“Wait, please, you’ve caught my eye ever since first semester, I tried talking to you, getting to know you, even trying to get friendly with some of your friends even thought I question why they’re even friends with someone like you”
My blood boiled at the mention of my friends. “Which friends?”
“Song. Guy doesn’t realise how lucky he is to have someone like you on his side,” He paused and I could hear the blood in my ears. Everything everyone said about Patterson was true. Arrogant prat. He continued “Honestly I’m willing to wait for as long as you want me to or try look-”
“No, you look. Patterson. You have some silly infatuation over me and think of me as some innocent Nursing student who supposedly is supposed to fall head over heels for you just because you decided to give me an ounce of attention. Newsflash, I’m not easy” I walked away before Patterson had the time to counteract.
I headed to the cafeteria and they had run out of the chicken that I wanted. Great. I opted for a salad that looks pretty decent and searched the hall from Mingi, his head usually above everyone else’s in height. I spotted him just as Yeosang saw me and waved me over. I head over and immediately Mingi gave me some lukewarm chicken which I gratefully accepted.
“Thought they’d run out so I saved you some”
“Ugh, I love you so much, Mingi thank you!” I groaned in happiness.
He smiled bashfully and Yeosang gave him a funny look that I didn’t quite understand. “Well, you and Yeosang have a long afternoon ahead of you and you should be fuelled up. What took you so long?”
I chewed a piece of avocado, swallowing before continuing. “Oh Patterson stopped me at my locker and tried asking me out.”
The result of this sentence was more eventful than I thought. Mingi looked at me saucer-eyed and his mouth was open, a crisp in his hand in mid-air. Yeosang choked on his juice slightly. I laughed at their reactions.
“Patterson, the pretentious jock, Patterson? The absolute douche bag that stole the locker I was gonna get next to you, Patterson?” Mingi finally said incredulously.
“Yep. We talk from time to time since we see each other at our lockers. And whenever we see each other around campus now that I think about it. He always initiates it.”
“Well he’s an idiot and he’s lucky he hasn’t met my fist yet,” Mingi said and something in his tone of voice sounded like he meant it. I don’t know what Patterson did to Mingi in the past but it must’ve been a big deal for Mingi to still hold onto a grudge like that
“I turned him down, I don’t know him very well. I don’t see what he sees in little old me” I finished the last of the salad, piling the plates up so that we could dispose of them.
Mingi opened his mouth to speak but Yeosang shook his head. We then left the table, Mingi heading to a booked practice studio and Yeosang and I heading to our placement. I didn’t think we’d be returning to college afterwards so I bid Mingi farewell and said that we should walk together tomorrow since we both had morning classes. He agreed and ruffled my head while I batted his arm away, fighting off a smile.
The placement was fine up until our break. Yeosang and I sat down with some water when I noticed a bunch of missed calls and a couple of messages that had videos attached to them. They were from people from the university that I didn’t really talk to but had for the sake of it. All of them contained a video that shook me to the core. A bruised and bloody Mingi was pounding someone I couldn’t recognise on the ground. The person looked worse than Mingi did. Mingi was saying something but it was drowned out by the crowd making various noises. Finally, I heard a name after watching it a couple of times, “Patterson”. So Mingi finally had the last straw. I lied to the placement rep that I was feeling ill and luckily I had done a good part of what we needed to complete for the day so she let me go. Yeosang was worried about what had happened but I had left before explaining it to him. He’d find out eventually. I ran home, trying to connect the phone to Mingi but there was no answer. I was worried for what disciplinary action would happen because of this. Suspension. Expulsion. Barred for life. I sobbed, the image of Mingi in the horribly bruised state vivid in the back of my mind.
<3
This picnic was the first time Mingi and I had properly met on our own after the incident. The disciplinary board didn’t take well to the fact that the video was circulating like wildfire, meaning it was harder to dust under the carpet. They gave Mingi a intermitting allowance since his performance in his degree otherwise was doing well and it was a one-time incident. That meant he wasn’t allowed to attend classes for this academic year but was able to continue with study following the start of next year. Mingi decided to take up the coach’s offer for private sessions and competing since he didn’t have anything else to do.
I was studying relentlessly since we had some exams coming back. Yeosang eventually found out about what had happened and was really there for me, sticking to my side like glue. I needed it after the several taunts I started to receive about ‘my boyfriend beating poor Patterson up’ but Yeosang and his athletic body scared most of them away. Not that I told Mingi about any of this. Mingi was diligently training under a private coach and he had his fifth match lined up. The first four were unsanctioned matches and I was gutted to miss them. Truth to be told, Mingi didn’t tell me they had happened. I found out afterwards when Yeosang told me about it. I was annoyed that he didn’t tell me about it but he promised he’d tell me about the next one.
Yeosang told me about the first sanctioned match, the first one where Mingi is licenced and has a manager and all that. I think it was Yeosang’s way of trying to apologise for not telling me about the first few matches. Mingi didn’t inform me about this match either so I decided not to tell him I was going. I did some research and turns out Mingi was fighting Patterson’s brother, who attended a different university. His name was Gideon and he had some form of an underground reputation from boxing. It seems that he was waiting for an offer to go State. The arena was about a 15-minute cycle and I didn’t even tell Yeosang I was going – I knew Yeosang would tell Mingi and I wanted to surprise him. That cost me a car ride but at least I was moving towards more toned legs after cycling for so long.
I arrived a little early thankfully and went to my seat. I made sure to get a seat close to the front but my university loan could only get me just outside of the ringside section. The view wasn’t bad so I didn’t complain. I opened my water bottle and had a few gulps, tired from my bike ride. I spotted Yeosang’s head in the VIP section a couple of seats in front of me, assuming Mingi got him that spot. I didn’t dare call him out because I wanted to simply watch the match without anyone knowing and then confront them about it later. Come to think of it I hadn’t seen Mingi since our picnic. That was 3 months ago. I wanted to see Mingi more often but we were both so busy and without both of us being at uni, we didn’t even see each other in passing. Gideon had already entered, ego fuelled by the cheers that echoed around the room. He was sitting in the corner allocated to him. There was no sign of Mingi and I turned around trying to search for him. Mingi finally entered the arena with his coach and was furiously scanning the room for someone. He was with a man in a suit and another in shorts and a zip-up hoodie. The hoodie man had his hand on Mingi’s shoulder, trying to talk to him but Mingi seemed unbothered in the talk and continuously looked around. Yeosang waved him over and the trio hurried over to them. Mingi whispered something to Yeosang but I couldn’t see his expression in response. Then they both started looking frantically round the arena. Then Mingi’s eyes caught my own.
Something seemed different about Mingi now. He was always quiet and observant but now he seemed more so. And he looked different. He was still slight but his arms looked full and toned and so did his thighs. He was big but had the graceful lankiness in his chest. It was hard not to stare. He then tapped Yeosang on the shoulder and pointed towards me. I had been found. Great. I tried ducking down but it was no use. Mingi had seen me and there was no way in hell that he’d mistake anyone else for me. Yeosang came over to me and said that Mingi had called me over to sit in the VIP section. I looked over to Mingi. He was pissed, motioning with a single finger to beckon me towards him. I sheepishly got my bag and got up, walking towards Mingi. He looked even better in person and I tried not to let my mouth hang in shock.
“You’ll catch flies doing that.”
I swatted his arm forcefully and he winced slightly, but I doubt it hurt. All I felt was muscle. “Quit, you demonic child”
“Says the one gawking me like I’m Adonis in the flesh” I blushed profusely, trying to cool my cheeks down. He’s my best friend goddammit. I decided to swat him some more and then he grabbed my hands. “What are you doing here anyway?”
“How did you find out?”
“Saw your bike parked when we came in. Only you have a pirate flag on the handle,” Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
“Well I was pissed at you for not telling me about these and pissed at Yeosang for not telling me so I wanted to come for myself. The internet is a wonderful thing and I’m quite hurt that you don’t want me here. I haven’t seen you in 3 months Ming-Ming” I didn’t mean to be whiny but it happened; all the anger from being put in the dark and the loneliness I felt from being separated from my best friend all came out.
I hadn’t called Mingi Ming-Ming in ages. Clearly it stuck a chord in Mingi because I was engulfed in a hug. His jacket was silky and very thin and I tried to stop blushing at the thought that nothing else was on underneath. A few wolf whistles and applauds could be heard but I couldn’t see what the crowd was doing, what Gideon was doing since my face was smushed in Mingi’s chest. This was the second time I could feel his heartbeat and it was stronger than ever. He mumbled on the top of my head.
“I always want you. Don’t ever think for a second that I don’t. I just-”
Mingi turned and the man in the suit, I think his manager was asking him to go into the ring, saying it’s time. Mingi waved bashfully and I held up 2 fists in encouragement, to which he cracked a smile. I then sat down in the empty seat next to Yeosang, who was watching this whole thing unfold. He just smiled and turned as I did to watch the match. They both began shuffling back and forth arms raised. Mingi’s were slightly higher. Then Gideon took the first swing, which Mingi blocked with his forearm. The momentum of the swing caused Gideon’s centre of gravity to shift and Mingi took advantage of that, jabbing at a vulnerable spot on his right side. Gideon winced visibly and Mingi retreated, arms up, focused.
The punches thrown clearly were meticulous, with Gideon seemingly having power in his throws but Mingi being poised and calculative, throwing whenever Gideon opened up a weak spot. It was the end of the first round and Mingi had gained himself a fair few points. The crowd cheered and so did I, as loud as I possibly can. Mingi looked over to me and gave me a wink. Gideon saw this and stood up, eyes narrowing. They started the second round, where Mingi only needed the points to win. Gideon started talking then as they restarted to shuffle
“My brother talked about you, you know? The guy you battered and lost your place at uni for.” He swung but narrowly missed. Mingi didn’t counter.
“What about the prick?”
“Told me why you went for him. Maybe I should avenge him right here, in front of your pretty friend. No wonder Patterson took a fancy to her.”
He looked over at me and Mingi didn’t even bother to swing. He just stood his ground, holding his hands up and bracing for a blow. Gideon was open and Mingi was being stupid for not taking a chance and swinging. He knew that Gideon was just all talk but the words were affecting him. I didn’t understand why, I knew Mingi was protective of me but just as a friend. Why was this pathetic line of conversation getting to him so badly that he couldn’t see straight? I looked over to Yeosang incredulously but he had his face in his hands. I looked at Mingi but he wasn’t looking at me. Why was he getting so bothered by this guy’s words?
“It’ll be fun to say that I’ve knocked down not one but two Levitts.” Mingi said, his voice quiet but wavering slightly. I bit my lip.
“Oh I don’t think so, Song.” And he finally went for and uppercut and Mingi’s arms were far too high. He took the blow in full force and the crowd collectively groaned. He was down and it was like a switch was turned on inside of Gideon because Gideon kept punching the right places and Mingi couldn’t do anything. I pressed my fists into my face, anticipated but not wanting to watch. After what felt like forever, Mingi fell and Gideon didn’t hesitate to kick him while he was down, a snarl on his face.
“That’s from Patterson.” The ref came up to him, telling him to stop otherwise they’d bar him for unsportsmanlike behaviour.
“I’ve done what I wanted, chief.” And with that he walked off to his corner, his ecstatic manager giving him a bottle of water and congratulating him for the turnaround.
People came to escort Mingi and I was on my feet at once. Something in this half an hour snapped something within me. Yeosang registered where I was going and tried holding me back, his arms firm. I thrashed, saying I needed to be there for Mingi, that I had to help him. Yeosang tried to calm me down put I just wanted to be there for Mingi. The referee had announced the KO and Gideon’s victory and I couldn’t hear over various cheers. Eventually I left Yeosang’s grasp. Whether it was because he loosened his grip or that I had become stronger, I do not know. I ran, Yeosang sighing behind me knowing no one would let me through. I got to the changing rooms when I was stopped by Gideon.
“Hi.” He said with a small smile. No way in hell I was having this two-facedness.
I turned away walking through the corridor but he caught up to me. “Hey look, no hard feelings, I know Song is something special to you but you’ve got to understand that my family reputation was ruined because-”
Slap. It took a while for Gideon to register what had just happened. I was breathing heavily from the momentum and my hand was raised.
I started to speak and thankfully my voice didn’t waver. “Listen. I don’t actually know what happened between Patterson and Mingi but Mingi’s dealt with the consequences of that. You didn’t have to bring it in here, what happened, happened and it didn’t need the extra taunting”
“But it was a matter of my reputation as my brother’s.”
“And I’m the one who’s here defending Mingi’s reputation. Of course Mingi is something special to me, he may have beaten a pulp out of your dumbass of a brother but he had good reason to. I know he did. As for you, kicking him while he was down, disgraceful. All you are a good-for-nothing dirty player who preys on the weak” he tried to grab my throat but I ran, towards the arena. He didn’t register that the camera was still positioned in the doorway. He grabbed me and held me up towards the wall, the camera catching everything. There was an audible gasp in the arena and Gideon realised and had the grace to let go of me. I rubbed my neck reproachfully, beckoning him to come closer. I whispered slowly into his ear.
“You are going to go to the Committee and you are going to ask for a rematch. I don’t care how you do it, I don’t care what it does to your reputation. You are going to organise it no matter what. Otherwise Patterson is going to go through living hell and it won’t be cos of Mingi.”
I walked off, back to the changing rooms. A man tried stopping me.
“Look, you have to let me in”
“Only medical attendants and personnel allowed in, miss”
“But I’m Mingi’s best friend, I’m actually a Nursing student, I need to be there”
“And I’m the president of America.”
“Listen, sir, I’m not joking,”
“Sure you’re not. You know the number of times fans have tried to get into this room. It’s not happening, Mr Song has an image to repute. Plus you’re not on the list.” People started filing out, including the coach and manager. They didn’t see me.
I sighed “That’s cos Mingi didn’t know I was going to be here. I was moved up to the VIP ringside, ask anyone.”
“Miss, I’m sorry but I’m not having you waste anyone’s time for an answer I already have. Now leave.”
“But”
The door opened once slightly, but I could see who it was. Mingi spoke. “Let her in.”
The man turned to Mingi exasperatedly “But sir-”
Mingi’s voice was rough “I said let her in. I’m not asking” his tone made my skin crawl. Never had I heard Mingi this angry. The man clearly hadn’t either and apologised. Then the door closed and then the man moved aside. I went through. There was a dark corridor and then a light coming from a room. I could see Mingi’s silhouette and ran to catch up but he didn’t turn back. He took a turn to sit and I entered the room, my eyes adjusting to the light. Then I saw him. He had a split lip and a slouch. He looked up and smiled meekly at me
“Hey.”
“Don’t hey me. If you weren’t already hurt I would’ve battered you by now” I then tried examining his wounds from where I was standing. It then occurs to me that Mingi was in nothing but shorts. The hollowness of his collarbone stuck out, followed by smooth pectorals and a lean six pack that was currently bruised at the side. I averted my eyes, trying not to stare again. My everything felt hot. Mingi realised that he wasn’t wearing a top and looked sheepish. He got up and winced.
“Let me throw on a t-shirt hang on”
“Sit back down”
Mingi gulped and did so. I approached him and touched his bruise. He winced slightly and I pulled away.
“How bad does it hurt”
“Oh trust me it’s alright. It’ll be fine in a day or two.”
“I didn’t ask about a day or two.” I touched it tentatively again but Mingi didn’t flinch and was just looking up at me. I tried not to look back since I knew I’d be red. “How is it now?”
“I doesn’t hurt when I breathe but an intermediate amount of pressure hurts.”
“And this?” I shifted my hand up to his split lip, brushing the area around it for any signs of unusual softness. I didn’t dare look into his eyes who was looking straight at me.
I felt his lips move “I’ve had worse. It only hurts when I open my mouth too much”. I pulled away but Mingi grabbed my hand. I was forced to look at him. I feel like I hadn’t looked at him properly in years. He was always awkward and lanky, with no meat and all bones. He was still lanky but he wasn’t awkward anymore. His face had filled out and his cheekbones with high. His lips, the only thick thing about him, were parted, causing me to lick my own. His eyes darted down at the movement.
I tried to change the conversation “Why did you let Gideon get into your head?”
“He was taunting me about you. Normally I’m alright with taunts but not when they’re about you. It makes my blood boil and I can’t think properly.”
“And what’s so special about me? I know they don’t mean it.”
Mingi then stood up, still holding onto my hand. I gasped as he started walking causing me to walk backwards until I hit the wall. All I could see was his chest and it made something stir up inside of me I gulped as he leaned down slightly.
“What’s not special about you? You are fiercely protective of me, just like how I am with you. I saw the altercation that happened between you and Gideon. It came on the TVs since they forgot to turn them off. I didn’t hear anything but your face said it all. You are absolutely beautiful and I knew that Patterson had a liking to you. I pissed me off, since he didn’t know the real you, thought you were easy and innocent. Do you want to know the reason I beat the little shit up?”
I was too stunned to speak. Mingi just called me beautiful.
Mingi continued. “He was badmouthing you, after lunch, I went to grab something and saw him with his friends. Once of his friends asked how it went shooting his shot with the ‘pretty bird’. He mentioned your name and said that you declined him but it wasn’t that big of a deal. You were a pathetic little bitch and that he doesn’t know why he even gave you the chance. If I remember rightly he asked you. Well, anyway I couldn’t comprehend anything and next thing you know I was on top of the guy but he was all bloody. I don’t regret it for a second. Be he deserved it.” He moved his hand to touch my cheek, at the corner of my mouth. I froze, feeling like my face was on fire. “No one, and I mean no one, badmouths you like that. You mean everything to me and I’m so lucky to have you in my life.”
His eyes flicked to my lips as I licked them once more, my mouth feeling like the Sahara. He spoke again. “I’d do anything for you. You’re my best friend and...” It was like I woke up. Those two words changed everything. ‘Best friend’
I pulled away, wiggling myself away from between Mingi and the wall. He had the decency to pull away, looking embarrassed for some reason. Why though? If anyone should be embarrassed it should be me. Here I was hoping that something would happen. But Mingi was right. We were best friends and nothing more. And for some reason the thought left me feeling disappointed.
<3
Gideon was true to his word. The only time the Committee was able to schedule the rematch was after all the originally scheduled matches which happened after the next year of Uni started. Mingi had re-enrolled and Hongjoong congratulated him for his reappearance.
Mingi and I saw each other a lot over the summer. But something had changed between us. While we joked the same way, Mingi kept his distance from me and didn’t touch me as much as he used to. We kept going on outings to try and make things go back the way it was but honestly, it was like I woke up. Mingi had been such a constant figure in my life that I couldn’t comprehend the feelings I had. Not to mention they were unreciprocated. So for the sake of our friendship, I hid these feelings and tried to be the same girl Mingi first became friends with.
It was hard bottling it up and one night at a party, Mingi was away talking to the DJ, leaving me and Yeosang sat down.
“You have to be less obvious.” Yeosang noted.
“What about?” I looked at him, confused. He drank some of his Coke, refusing to drink since he was our night’s designated driver. I didn’t feel like drinking so Yeosang and I sat of a sofa, looking at the monstrosity of the party unfold. Alcohol did stupid things to people.
“You have a fat crush on Mingi and you’re not even trying to hide it anymore”
I whipped around, looking to see if anyone overheard but luckily no one was around us. I then looked over to Mingi, who was flat out drunk and spinning like a top, grinning manically. It made my heart flutter since his smile wasn’t perfect but there was always something endearing about its imperfection.
“And what about it?” I hissed, not seeing the point to lie. “Mingi’s knows me better than I know myself. And I do him. We…I realised when he got beat up. There was this moment, in the changing rooms, where Mingi had me against the wall…”
“He what?” Yeosang looked incredulous.
“Oh, I don’ know. He was saying all this stuff about how I was absolutely beautiful and that no one really knew my true potential and I mean everything to him. And then he said the words best friend and I came crashing right back down to reality.”
“Well, I don’t know…” Yeosang started.
“Sangie!” Mingi had finally approached us, stumbling slightly. “I can’t feel my legs!” He proclaimed with a slur, as if it was the most normal thing in the word. With a sigh, Yeosang stood up and tucked Mingi’s enormous arm onto his shoulder and half-dragged him out of the house. I followed suit. I sat in the back seat but Mingi would sit properly in the passenger seat. Yeosang huffed and then put him in the backseat with me. Yeosang started driving and Mingi collapsed onto me, his head on my shoulder..
“Oh my goodness, this smells so fucking good” Mingi nuzzled my neck and I jolted, like a spark of electricity. I held my hands in my lap, willing them still. Yeosang watched us in the mirror, concerned for me that Mingi was about to puke at any point. I tried shifting slightly and Mingi protested, his plump lips now flush on my neck. He mumbled and every single minute vibration ignited me.
“Stop moving, strange women.” My heart plummeted at that. He didn’t know how I was.
Yeosang spoke up, taking a right turn. “Mingi, that’s-”
“Shut up, Sangie, and tell this women to stop moving. I swear she smells just like my best friend and it’s the most heavenly thing I’ve smelt all my life.”
I eyed Yeosang, who seemed to be thinking the same thing. But Yeosang seemed to be thinking about something else.
“What, Yeosang?”
“Oh there’s no way in hell I’m saying anything. Mingi will murder me”
“Spill”
“No.”
We were interrupted by Mingi “Yeosang can I ask you a question?” He asked sleepily.
“Sure, Mingi” Yeosang eagerly took the change in conversation.
“I have a problem. You know my best friend? We’ve been friends for years, for as long as I can remember. And I feel like I messed up” His speech was slower, as if he was trying to stay awake.
Yeosang looked frantic and sped up slightly. It was like he knew what Mingi was about to say.
I tried coaxing it out of him. I needed to know and Yeosang wasn’t going to be the one who told me. “What did you do with your best friend, Mingi?”
“We’re here!” Yeosang took a sharp turn causing Mingi to slip off me and onto the car seat and flinging me towards the door. I winced than tried to shake Mingi but it was no use: He had fallen asleep. Yeosang looked relieved and asked me to get out so that he could get Mingi to bed immediately. I sighed and left, not before punching Yeosang who wasn’t ready for it and winced in pain.
We had got back to uni and it was as if nothing happened. Mingi didn’t remember a thing and kept his distance from me. Neither Yeosang nor I dared to mention it since we both knew that sober Mingi would just deny any of it was true. He found it hard to express emotion and was the shy kind when I came to things like that which is why we were so shocked the drunken incident happened.
It was the day of the match and Yeosang drove me. The manager was stood outside and his eyes lit in recognition once he saw us walking to the arena. We had now come a fair few times to support Mingi on his matches over the summer. Mingi actually did pretty well, winning all his matches so far. The sanctioned matches worked in a point system for each correctly delivered blow and the KO having the most points. Mingi was currently third, with Gideon in first place. The person in second place had played all of his matches which meant that if Mingi scored a certain number of points in the first 2 rounds and then deliver the KO he would be placed first. The plan was for him to stay on his feet until the end and then hold out for the knockout.
We sat in our seats and Mingi was the first to come out. He gave a handshake to everyone in the VIP section, who had paid a lot of money to see this highly anticipated match. There were a couple girls in the front that wanted pictures and what not and Mingi agreed since Gideon wasn’t scheduled to come for another few minutes. I could feel something bubbling inside me and I clenched my fists. Yeosang noticed and grabbed my hand.
“Not here, you idiot.”
Mingi saw that Yeosang was holding my hand and his eyes narrowed. There were people from uni here too, who heard about how Mingi was climbing the Boxing Championships in his first year and they wanted to give him a bit of cheer. Not everyone thought that Mingi was bad. Patterson’s reputation had depleted horrendously, since he started treating other girls on campus like they were easy. Everyone thought that Mingi did what was best.
Gideon came out and there was a sizeable number of people there to support him. Mingi walked over to him and held out a hand.
“May the best man win”
Gideon reproachfully took Mingi’s hand and shook it once, letting go quickly. They both Put their gloves on and they started shuffling, the game in session. Mingi swung first, a jab to the side and it took Gideon by surprise. The crowd was alive, shouting and screaming. Then Mingi started to speak.
“Hey man, I know we had a bit of a mishap earlier but I want to be the better man”
Gideon was confused and so was I. What did he mean. Was he going to lose intentionally in some noble pursuit?
“What you did was for your brother and I understand that. Just like what I’d do for my best friend. Winning this match means going for State.”
“Yeah so? If this is some sick way of you psyching me out then-“
Gideon shifted his hands down slightly following Mingi’s eye movement and Mingi swung straight at the nose. The impact caused Gideon to lose balance and fall.
What? But Mingi wasn’t supposed to go for a knockout until after a couple of rounds. I was shocked and looked over to the coach, who had his face in his hands. The referee knelt down beside Gideon counting down. There was still hope. Gideon could get back up and the attempted knockout would get Mingi a good number of points. All he would then need is a further KO to come first.
The referee called it. “Knockout”
Mingi then smiled and waved at the crowd who were happy nonetheless that he won. I clapped along, still elated that Mingi had won against a technically State champion. But he was just impatient. Mingi then took the mic from the reporter, who asked about the victory.
“I am very young in this career. Being put up against Levitt has taught me many things, as well as the lessons I’ve gained from the other people I have played. Today I realised that even thought I had the opportunity to go State, I couldn’t even compare to the technicality of Levitt so how would I fare training with some of the best in the country? I want to take this rapid win as a reminder that I have so much to learn. I will be back next year for the next championship and with better training than ever under my amazing coach Mr. Choi. We will come back stronger and then I hope I will become a force to be reckoned with.. Thank you very much.”
I let out a sob and I realised that during this match, while I wanted Mingi to go State, the thought of losing him was too much to bear. I whispered to Yeosang that I needed the toilet and that I would be back. Since Mingi was on stage, no one was guarding his changing room. I slipped inside, waiting, hiding inside one of the cubicles.
Voices entered the changing room and I heard Yeosang’s as he congratulated Mingi.
“Thought you were being an absolute doofus but your speech explained it all. I have to give it to you. Mingi.”
“Well that’s partly the reason” Mingi paused. “I knew going State wasn’t going to be feasible while trying to sit a degree. I actually spoke to my manager and coach about it, saying I should take the next couple of years for experience and to help build up my reputation. I’m going to transfer to Sports Business and minor in production, the board already agreed to it. All my training they’ll fund. And it means I’ll be closer to the both of you”
“But you know we wouldn’t have minded if you had gone State, clearly it’s a passion of yours now.”
“I realised my passion lies elsewhere. Well. Sort of. You of all people know what I mean”
“Has she come out to meet you yet.” Yeosang asked.
“Nope.” I’ll rest up a bit and then I guess I’ll get a ride home with you both. We should celebrate”
“Yeah for sure. But no drinking under any circumstances. I can’t handle you drunk, you know this”
Mingi sounded like he had a smile on his face “Of course.”
The door closed and Mingi shuffled a bit, sounding like he was alone. It was now or never. I opened the door quickly.
“Christ, what the hell are you doing here?”
I stepped out and walked over to the other side of the room. “I was waiting for you.”
Mingi stood up as well and followed me. “why didn’t you meet me outside like a normal human being, I could’ve been naked for all you know”
“and how do you know I wouldn’t like that?” I muttered. He didn’t hear it
“What did you say?”
“nothing, I…uhm…”
Mingi walked closer to me. I felt like I was getting déjà vu. My back was once again against the wall, Mingi trapping me. He was wearing his silk robe still and it was tied.
“I said” and Mingi moved closer, teasing me. “What did you say”
I blushed really hard. “Nothing. It wasn’t meant for your ears anyway.”
“so it was about me, huh?” he moved closer, closer. Summer Mingi wouldn’t have dared to come this close. He seemed to realise this too and pulled away standing up straight. I was still against the wall. “What about my naked self? That’s it’s gross? That I have terrifying muscles that you don’t want to be seen near me?”
I snapped. This wasn’t going the way I wanted it to go. “Oh, don’t kid yourself.”
Mingi looked at me. Never had I spoken to him like this, fighting back. Something lit in his eyes. I decided to carry on. “You can’t bulk however hard you try. Look how slight your chest is.” I paused and looked at Mingi who looked confused. “It’s so fucking perfect, I hate it.”
“What?” Mingi’s voice had become small.
“Oh my god, Mingi! Ask Yeosang, ask literally anyone! I hate it. I hate that I’m stuck with this. I’m supposed to be your best friend. Just like you said the last time I was here. And I hoped, still do, that something would happen. I love being friends but at the same time I don’t, I’m just stuck and I don’t know what to do…”
Mingi held my chin tilting it upwards.
“Listen to me.” Mingi’s voice was gruff and it made me shiver. “You’re my best friend and nothing’s going to change that. But you didn’t let me finish my sentence last time. You’re my best friend and yet I have loved you like you were something more.”
My eyes widened and I gasped. Mingi finally closed the distance between us and his mouth was on mine.
His tongue explored my mouth tentatively, and I realised just how remarkable this situation is. We were best friends and yet we both loved each other. Thank goodness it turned out this way or it would’ve been painful for someone. He was being so soft, and it was driving me insane. I pulled his jacket so he bent down towards me. Mingi temporarily lost balance and placed both his hands on the wall, on either side of me, securing me. I had never felt safer. Our lips met again but this was deeper, more pressure being exerted even though Mingi’s lips were so soft, so damn soft. I groaned I felt Mingi shudder at the sound. He then teased me, moving closer, allowing our lips to brush, then pulling back before I could enjoy it. Now I groaned in frustration. I wanted this for so long and his was playing me right around his finger. I could tell the slowness was making him go just as insane but boxing had taught him patient, how holding back was just as important as attacking. I could feel him trying to hold onto ever ounce of control, like I couldn’t handle it if he lost control. The truth is I wanted it, felt the want so deep inside me, like the want had been there since the beginning of time. I want Song Mingi. I grazed my teeth on his lip, tugging slightly. He pulled away for a brief minute, our foreheads touching.
“Are you sure?”
“Go big or go home, Ming-Ming. I can take it.”
The next time he went down on me, it was rough and the pressure caused me to part my lips. He swiped his tongue along my bottom lips as his hands moved to outline my silhouette. I felt like a drawing coming to life under his big, calloused, beautiful hands, sketching out my shoulders my arms, following the curve of my breast, causing me to gasp but moving to my waist. I slid my hands under the jacket, feeling smooth, firm skin. Mingi removed the jacket, letting it fall to the ground He pulled me closer, moving his lips from mine to kiss the folds of my outer ear.
“Jump” His voice was deep and textured and it made my mind, my insides go crazy. I jumped and felt myself floating, Mingi’s hands sliding up from my waist to my underarms, hoisting me up. He leaned on the wall so my back pressed into it. I wrapped my legs around his waist, his beautiful, slight, lanky, bare waist. I pulled him closer as his lips trailed from my ear, down my jawline to my neck. I wove my hands into his hair, sighing. Hi then stopped met my lips for a quick brush and then leaned his head against mine. My hands were still in his hair and they moved idly.
His words were slow, calculated and every word sent a spark right into my heart.
“I have wanted,” He started with a shaky breath. “I have wanted to do this every moment of every hour of every
day that I have been with you since the day I met you. But you know that. You must know. Don’t you?”
Then he looked me in the eye and I saw Mingi, the Mingi I knew way back in high school, when I first got to know him. Lanky, scrawny, akward, beautiful. And always destined to be mine.
“I do.” And he closed the distance between us, lips on mine.
<3
We were both sat in Yeosang’s car, driving ourselves to a fancy dinner. Turns out Yeosang had pulled a few strings and managed to get us all a reservation as a really fancy steak place. We had stopped over at mine to get changed and Mingi couldn’t stop ogling me. I smiled and waved when I went to get changed into something a little nicer and when I came back we drove to the boys apartment.
Went I got into the car, we drove silently to Mingi, Mingi’s head down. I slipped my hand into Mingi’s enormous one and he gave me a squeeze. Yeosang couldn’t see the handholding. Come to think of it neither of us had mentioned what had happened in the changing room or the sudden turn of events. Yeosang knew that I had a crush on Mingi and that was about it. I think. I guess I left a bit dishevelled but otherwise I cleaned myself up and Yeosang didn’t say anything. Mingi stepped out when we got to his apartment and Yeosang immediately turned around to me.
“You two fucked didn’t you?”
“What?” I was shocked, beyond shocked. No we didn’t actually do anything. We both knew in our heads that a changing room was not the place for things like that. We just knew.
“Oh, quit your lying, you two boned, you two have been eye-fucking each other ever since we left from the arena.” Yeosang looked smug.
“Well, hate to break it to you Sangie” I said mocking Mingi’s nickname for him “We kissed but that was it. Well. More like a make out but nothing actually happened.”
The result of this was amazing. Yeosang, Mr. Inexpressive himself, began whooping and cheering and dancing, a big grin on his face. We saw the door to the apartment complex open before we saw Mingi and Yeosang schooled his features back together.
Mingi opened the door. “We all good to go?”
Yeosang nodded, trying not to crack a laugh. Oh boy. “Mhm. Jump inside my good friend.”
We drove. Silently. Mingi and I sat pretty far apart. Yeosang then broke the silence. “Mingi cleans up pretty well, doesn’t he?” He looked pointedly at me. I groaned. He was so obvious.
“Yeah” I said in a strained voice before smiling at Mingi.
“And the dress you picked out is absolutely stunning, don’t you think so too, Mingi?”
“Yeah?” Mingi looked at me confused. I wanted to bury myself right there.
We had arrived at the restaurant and I leapt out of the car as soon as it had stopped moving. Mingi followed suit.
Yeosang grabbed us both by the neck.
“If you both ever keep this kinda thing from me again, I swear to god I will disown you both as friends. Did you know how long I tried subtly playing wingman for you both since you couldn’t see past your ‘best friend’ shtick? This could have been over and done with like a year ago but no all it took was a changing room and Mingi to get jacked.”
I felt my face go red and Mingi looked at me incredulously “You told him.”
“That we kissed nothing else!”
“Shit I told him I found you in the changing room afterwards when we were looking for you!”
We both turned to Yeosang, who had a shit eating grin on his face.
“Kang Yeosang!” Mingi drove for him but it was no use. Yeosang had doubled over in laughter and this broke a smile on Mingi’s face too. He looked at me with such love in his eyes, probably expecting a look from me that roughly translated to ‘stop being children’ but it was too late – I was already laughing.