Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I knew what it was to yearn for a life so distant it seemed that it had never been anything more than a dream.”

- Alice Hoffman

-

(Hawks often dreams.)

(Like film reels of his memories, his dreams would often mercilessly place him in atrocious places - like his childhood home, the training center, or even that damn punishment room. Sometimes, he’d relive those memories by himself; other times, his soulmate would watch him; and, for the rest, they’d take to creating a place just for the two of them.)

(A mindscape, researchers had dubbed it. This was a shared and private place for two soulmates, where they could freely meet and interact when they slept in the real world.)

Keigo’s first mark in his and his soulmate’s mindscape was a pitter-patter of bare feet, hesitant steps, and a trail of crimson feathers. The eight-year-old child looked left and right, his head spinning to take in the seemingly endless sea of white in wide-eyed wonder. He’d never seen anything like this before, the place was completely void of stains and walls. The cramped space of his childhood home and the Commission’s dormitory rooms could never compare. Here, he could stare at the horizon line without any interruption or race towards it for no reason without repercussions.

(Still, Hawks recalls himself checking.)

“Hello? Is anybody there?” Keigo called out in a thin, unsure voice.

Silence answered him.

Rather than getting worried about his solitude, a sense of relief and happiness filled him. Silence meant no parents and no handlers, and especially no scary president lady. That wrinkly bitch - (no, focus Hawks, little Keigo would’ve never cursed her out) - gave the boy quite the first impression. Back then, he didn’t think anyone could terrify him more than his father and his painful swings, sharp bark, and crazed gaze.

Keigo took a few more steps. A careful skip. More silence, soon filled by a sweet chirp. And no scolding or disapproving glares from his handlers followed. With an excited flutter of his wings, he took to the white sky in a symphony of laughter.

(This was the first time he ever felt free, which was kinda sad and hilarious that it took him dreaming for him to realize that such a feeling was possible. A bird doesn’t belong in a cage, and a baby bird would understand the need for a vast sky, the instant he experienced it for the first time.)

Just a few minutes in the mindscape, and Keigo already thought this was the best thing ever!

The fantastical space was like a blank canvas, encouraging and inviting his mark upon it. All of it, just for him! And - and - and his soulmate! Oh, he couldn’t wait to meet them, the one, special person fate gifted him.

Keigo practically buzzed with excitement, his imagination going wild. What would his soulmate be like? A guy? A girl? What kind of quirk would they have? Either way, he hoped they’d be someone around his age. There were barely any other trainees under the Commission and much less opportunity for him to interact with them. He was special like his handlers would constantly say, both to praise and reprimand, so all his training was usually done alone.

But here, he could make friends! Not just that, a best friend! Without any scary adults breathing down his neck too.

Anything said and done with his soulmate could be kept a secret, and he’s very good at keeping secrets, having learned quickly to keep his mouth tightly shut unless permitted to speak. If he never revealed that a mindscape had appeared, the Commission would surely never know. He could do whatever - maybe laze around, play pretend heroes, and do as many barrel rolls in the sky - as much as he wanted!

How amazing was that?! He - no, they - could have so much fun together!

It would be while soaring high that he spotted a curious speck in the far distance, thanks to his enhanced sight.

That’s - ! That could only be - !

Keigo didn’t waste another second, speeding towards his soulmate.

Though, he’s forced to stop before it as the speck turned out to be far from human. There stood a single object, a wooden rectangular box propped vertically on the ground and bested Keigo in height three times over, with a carved circle at his eye level, like a handle for a closet.

(Later on, Hawks would recall this differently. He’d think that rather than a box or closet, it resembled more a standing coffin - one fit for an adult that a young child could grow into.)

(Though, little Keigo would’ve never thought this strange. Like a fool, he’d think that his soulmate must like closets or something.)

It was the first thing ever created here, in their mindscape, after all. A bit weird, but a hero was meant to accept everyone’s pre - preferences…? Was that the word? - anyway, a hero like him wasn’t going to judge. People could like or hate anything they wanted.

Alright, let’s do this.

Good first impressions only, Keigo. No chirps, squawks, or anything like that. The adults in his life were clear that the bird thing was freaky.

With small fists and little hesitation, he knocked. “Hello! My name is Keigo! And I’m your soulmate! I’m eight years old and training to be a hero. Nice to meet you!”

There was no response, but through his feathers, Keigo could sense someone breathing quietly inside. It reminded him of how he breathed around his father, which propped up another weird flag. There was nothing scary here. His soulmate didn’t have to hide; only the two of them were here.

Seems like his soulmate was a weird person.

But again, Keigo was to be a hero. He would accept a weird soulmate.

“Um - you can come out! It’s only me out here.” Even though his soulmate may be purposefully ignoring him, Keigo thought it’d only be fair if he told them it was useless. “My quirk is called Mighty Wings,” as the plain-looking doctor told him, his handlers, and the President, “so I’ve got all the cool senses of a bird. I can hear you in there! You can’t hide from me - I mean, you’ve got no reason to hide from me!”

No reply.

Though it itched his tongue, Keigo held back on telling his soulmate again that they could come out. Wouldn’t a hero prioritize the safety and desires of citizens? If they didn’t want to come out yet, rather than force them or insist, he could just wait.

As such, Keigo settled right against the wooden box, legs splayed out on the blank floor, and his wings lowered in a relaxed spread.

And he talked.

He talked to fill the silence, to fill the mystical blank space - a good return, in his opinion; his soulmate created the first object here, so he’ll fill it with something else. He won’t get hit or scolded here for talking, he reminded himself. Like a strained dam that’s finally cracked, his lips loosened, and he began to weave out all the things he kept hidden in his heart.

Keigo told his soulmate about his dreams.

“I’m gonna be a hero! My, um, my father was not a good person. He caused trouble for a lot of people…”

With no desire to introduce himself as a villain’s son to his soulmate, he skipped a lot of details. Though, he hoped that someday, they could share everything about each other.

(They don’t.)

“But a hero came and beat him up! It was so cool - he - he was so big, and his quirk was so flashy! Y’know, I thought heroes weren’t a real thing before him, but when he took my father away, all kinds of good things happened then. I’m now training to be a hero, and - and I’ll work real hard to be just like him - I’ll save tons of people, you just watch me!”

He didn’t mention Endeavor. It was out of fear that somehow, his father’s arrest may be found from Endeavor’s feats through the news. He didn’t know if his soulmate followed the news, if they cared, or if they were even old enough to read. Either way, it was a risk.

(So young, and already so great at concealing things.)

(At least, little Keigo did it to protect himself compared to Hawks who’s gotten so used to it that speaking the truth is oftentimes harder than lies. He forgets that his life isn't always a performance.)

Not yet, Keigo thought, not yet.

Even if they’re soulmates, they have to get acqua - uh, acquainted? - first. Then be friends. When they become best friends, he’ll tell them everything.

(Not that they ever do.)

(The things they hide from each other are monumental, lies atop of more lies and pretenses. There is a mere lick of trust between them, a never-ending dance of barbed words.)

(Luckily, they’re experts at avoiding the thorns.)

Keigo told his soulmate about his future.

“The President - she, uh - she said she’s got the best doctors and trainers to write up a program for me. She said I’ll get better than even the students at U.A., and that’s the best hero school there is - like, ever, y’know? I can’t wait! I might not even have to take boring classes, so I’ll be able to debut sooner…”

He talked about what he wanted for them.

“Isn’t it awesome that we met each other so soon? I’m only eight, and - I don’t remember where, but I heard that not many people ever do. Like, more than the number of quirkless would never meet their soulmate. Isn’t that sad? It’d be even sadder if someone is both quirkless and without a soulmate. I… I would hate that… A soulmate is that special one, right? They’re supposed to help you at your lowest through thick and thin. They’re someone that will always understand and accept you…”

Sensing that he was spiraling towards a gloomy place, Keigo laughed loudly, far too loud to snap himself out of it. Embarrassed, he scratched the back of his head. “I’ll be that for you, y’know? And you for me - us, we’re one from now on, right?”

(Their relationship would never bud into this fantasy, so naive and childish. Still, Hawks smiles, what he’s got with his soulmate would be everything he wanted and more.)

Keigo talked on and on until inevitably he tired and went silent. The wooden surface he leaned on wasn’t what most would deem comfortable, but he’s curled up in worse places. It was enough to lull him into a quiet stupor, prompting a big yawn and a flutter of golden eyes, and Keigo started to doze off. He didn’t understand how sleeping in a mindscape worked when they were already sleeping, but he didn’t care too much.

That was until the support behind his back suddenly disappeared.

A squawk slipped out before he could stop it, though he was quick to bite his lower lip to muffle the rest. No, no. He shouldn’t be making these noises, especially not around anything. The President had sternly told him so, and here he was, already breaking her orders even though she’d done so much for him. He could only hope that his soulmate did not have the means to tell her.

Maybe it could be the first secret they kept together. Friends keep secrets all the time, right - ?

The back of his head bumping into something soft made him freeze. Flailing arms suspended midair, he discerned quickly that a chest - his soulmate’s chest - was what stopped his backward tilt. He let his head fall back, blinking at the sight of brilliant blue above him. His soulmate was looking down at him, chest stuttering at Keigo’s weight, and with wide eyes - wide, beautiful eyes in a shade of blue he hasn’t seen before. It wasn’t the lightness of the sky nor the bleakness of his clothes; they almost seemed to sparkle, and Keigo felt like he could drown in them. The next thing Keigo noticed was that his soulmate was a boy, a young boy like himself, with a soft-looking face and long lower lashes. And that he was looking confused, likely due to the stretched silence from Keigo’s enamored staring.

“Ah - ! Hello, you - you came out!” Keigo jumped forward and twirled on his heel so they could face each other. “And, oh, your hair! It’s red - same as my wings!”

Though there were dashes of white in them, reminding him of those funny-looking red-white canes during winter, Keigo was excited at matching in some way with his soulmate.

Compared to Keigo’s animated mood, the other seemed almost lost. As if he didn’t couldn’t make heads or tails of Keigo yet.

“You…”

Keigo perked at that, at his soulmate’s first words to him.

“You talk a lot, don’t you?”

Though that could be taken as an insult, Keigo didn’t think that was the other’s intent. He looked too overwhelmed at the moment if anything. Besides, it’s true. Keigo does talk a lot.

(It’s the first time he can talk this much without his father’s fists and the Commission’s hovering. Of course, he’d run his mouth.)

“Yup, I like talking! I talked a lot when you were still in your box. If you didn’t hear me before, I can repeat myself,” said Keigo, chirps, and clicks sounding between each breath. “My mom and fa - uh… I didn’t have anybody to talk to, only the birds outdoors. Which, can get pretty boring real quick, y’know, because it’s not like birds care more than where to find food or a mate during spring - and, a - and -”

Slapping a palm over his mouth, dread filled him to his core.

He did it again.

What was with him and making a fool of himself?

The bird noises were weird. Being able to talk to birds was weird. The President and his handlers told him, over and over again, and yet - why - why could he not stop in front of his soulmate of all people?

Contrary to what he expected, said soulmate just quirked a brow at him. “What?”

“My - s - sorry.” Keigo forced out past his leaden tongue. “I… I’m not supposed to make these sounds, but I…”

“What sounds?”

Was his soulmate being mean, trying to dig into his weirdness? Or was he just really clueless?

A glance at the other’s curious yet calm expression prompted Keigo to let out a low croon. His soulmate only blinked at it. So he let out a thrill, a sound normal humans were incapable of making. The “ah” from his soulmate nearly sent Keigo reeling and taking off out of shame.

But then, he said. “So you can make bird sounds and can talk to birds. It makes sense with your wings and all that you can do that. So what?”

What?

‘So what?’ Did he not understand? Was his soulmate stupid?

“It’s… I’m not supposed to. I’m gonna be a hero -” Words tumbled from his half-covered mouth, them a mimic of the President. “No one will trust a hero that acts differently from them… A - And… a hero needs to control themselves.”

His soulmate frowned. “There’s no one to save here, though. Why do you need to control yourself? Just do whatever you want.”

…oh?

That… that sounded right? It made sense.

They were alone here, and his soulmate didn’t seem like the type to snitch. It shouldn’t be a problem if he just… relaxed a bit, right? Right. Thankfully, his smart soulmate realized this.

‘Just do whatever you want.’

Alright, then.

Blanket permission granted, Keigo reached over - slowly, while broadcasting his movements, because he knew how annoying (scary) unpredictable people could be - and grabbed his soulmate. Fitting his hands over the other’s thin wrists, he pulled his soulmate fully out of the box and out of the shadows cast by it.

“What are you doing?”

Keigo joked back. “What are you doing? Shouldn’t you introduce yourself? And your quirk! What is it? And what do you wanna be when you grow up - and - and who’s your favorite hero?”

A pause, his soulmate seeming to need a moment to find his voice. “...Touya.”

That wasn’t a last name. But Keigo was like that too; he purposely only gave his given name. Maybe they were alike in this way too? It’d make him feel better about his family, to have someone to relate to and one that won’t judge.

“Got a fire quirk, and… I’m also training to be a hero.” Touya scrunched his nose, face twisting as if he ate a sour lemon. “Don’t have a favorite hero.”

(Not yet he doesn’t, Hawks chuckles. Touya’s favorite hero spot is only open to stunning blondes with giant wings. Aside from that, he just hates heroes.)

“No way, you’re training to be a hero?! Me too!”

What great news! Exactly what he wanted out of his soulmate! Maybe - Maybe they could grow up to be a team together. Even though fire was bad for his wings, they could find a way around it. Like, Touya could handle the villains on the ground while Keigo took to the skies; no one would stand a chance against the two of them. The Commission said they have plans for him. While limelight heroes like future him usually worked alone, perhaps he could request a partner. If not, being in the same agency or even frequent collaborations between them would be enough for him. He hoped Touya would be alright with the cameras.

His mouth acted as a motor to his wild and increasingly extensive desires, leaving Touya to puzzle them together. Body responding in kind to his excitement, his wings fluttered and created enough lift for him to hover a few inches off the ground. The gentle breeze from it tickled Touya, and he cracked a small smile.

“You’re weird. You’re already eight, but my younger siblings act more mature than you.”

Keigo squealed. “Siblings? You have them?”

“Yeah, I have two - uh, three younger ones. I’m the oldest.”

“I’m jealous - I mean it, Touya,” said Keigo with a whine. “I’m an only child, so it gets boring real fast. Does that mean you get to play with them all the time?”

“...I guess.”

“What do you play?” (Little Keigo meant more: how do you play?)

“Usually with a ball. We have an indoor garden, and we kick it around and stuff with our nanny.”

Tilting his head, Touya took back his hands. In the next breath, a ball materialized into his open palm. It looked smaller than the footballs he saw through shop windows, where he’d been mesmerized by both the flashing TV screen and coordination of the gameplay; but this ball still took Touya both of his hands to hold. Keigo, too, when his soulmate tossed it to him. Unable to stop his chirping of amazement, he pawed at it. It felt like real rubber with a slight weight, bouncing when he dropped it against the white ground, nearly right into his face. Cutting Touya’s mutter of “careful, idiot -” he exclaimed.

“This is amazing, Touya! How’d you do this? Can you create anything you want?”

Touya really was a smart soulmate!

Keigo knew inherently that anything was possible in dreams, in a mindscape, but it was really amazing that Touya was able to figure it out so quickly. Though, the weird box he brought with him should’ve been telling.

“By the way,” Keigo said. “Why’d you create that box?”

With a shrug, Touya rubbed his forearm over his long-sleeve clothes. “Just because. I slept in the closet, and guess it just… came with me. Anyway, just try imagining something and think of it appearing here.”

That’s it? That sounded simple enough.

Keigo nodded, jumping to his feet. He thought of his hero, who’s powerful, brilliant, and larger than life. Someone like Endeavor would be able to fill up this entire mindscape. So he willed it to be. Since he could only dream of meeting his idol, why not take advantage when he was literally dreaming?

Anything’s possible. Touya even said to do whatever he wanted.

Come to me, Keigo chanted. Appear, appear, appear -

Until a piercing “Keigo, what are you doing?!” snapped Keigo to attention, his eyes flying wide open. On instinct, he searched for Touya first. Relieved to see that he’s not hurt, he followed Touya’s gaze then to high above. There - There was something, a massive mass that appeared too dense to be a cloud and was casting an endless shade over them. It looked like a sloppy clay figure of a humanoid, dyed entirely red; though, where a round head was supposed to be, it looked like it had exploded. Like a snapshot of flames reminiscent of a certain hero’s vibrant beard.

And it was falling.

The scream they both released was deafening, then instantly muffled.

Keigo gasped around a mouthful of playdough, crawling towards the line of light in a hurry. Once out, he stretched his wings wide, thankful that there was barely any weight to the mass else his wings could’ve taken damage, and he scrambled towards a moving lump. Pulling his soulmate out, Touya groaned as they collapsed onto each other.

“I’m sorry!” Keigo patted Touya’s back, frantic that he caused this mess. “Are you alright, Touya?”

“Peachy. Just, hah, what were you trying to make?”

“Uh… my plush toy?” Keigo tried.

He wasn’t exactly lying; his plush toy was in the likeness of Endeavor. Lying next to his head on his bed, this was the only concession the Commission allowed him to keep from his family, the only thing he cared about really. Still, he thought it’d be insulting to his hero were he to reveal this failure was him. Thus, the toy; the mass was soft and warm like it.

“Really?”

Keigo nodded furiously at Touya’s stare. Hoping that Touya didn’t doubt him, because it’d be really embarrassing, and he really didn’t want to embarrass himself this early before his soulmate -

“Seriously? What a giant plush toy you have!”

Touya launched into a full belly laugh that had him crouching down. Melodious like birdsong and pure like the summer rain against the blue sky, his laughter was infectious. And Keigo’s hesitant smile turned into a full grin. There they lay, side by side as their hiccups subdued.

“Looks like you need some practice with your imagination, huh, birdie?”

“Mm.” Keigo agreed, preening at the nickname. “But don’t worry. I’m a fast learner.”

“I’ll hold you to it. Otherwise, we’re gonna need more space.”

“Ah…” With a sheepish glance at his monstrous creation, he asked. “So, uh… what do we do with that?”

It was gonna be an annoyance, for sure, a bright red blob obstacle and landmark with no use other than to remind Keigo of his lackluster creativity. But it was still Endeavor, his first creation even if it was ugly and looked nothing like his hero. Keigo couldn’t deny he had some attachment to it.

“Here, we’ll just do this.”

Keigo turned to find Touya standing, back to him before his creation. A red flicker licked across Touya’s hand, then his soulmate erupted Endeavor - no, the mass, it’s just stupid mass - into a massive bonfire. The flames seared through it within seconds, devouring until nothing but flaking crumbs were left, which Touya blew away with a kick.

That… that felt like overkill. Couldn’t Touya have waited or suggested for Keigo to will it away? Now, there’s a black mark stretched across their mindscape like a brand.

(It was certainly a metaphor for something, Hawks mused.)

However, Keigo was quickly distracted by Touya picking up the stray ball.

“C’mon, bridle. Let’s play.”

And Keigo nodded, running after his soulmate.

Chapter Text

They played together. But they fought each other more, much more. 

(They still do, Hawks scoffs.)

(Just, they don’t need to throw fists any longer to hurt. While Hawks has a silver tongue that naturally comes with being the finest limelight hero of his generation, Touya has developed his own. With sharp words carved like a knife, he’s capable of plunging the mindscape into the coldest depths of hell and twisting into the wounds until they either frost over or cauterize.)

(They’ve also learned how to use the mindscape to their benefit.)

(Poor little Keigo and little Touya haven’t found those nifty abilities that come with mindscapes yet, that come with being conscious during literal dreams yet. They haven’t realized that the mindscape isn’t something to trap them. They can separate from each other and can take time for themselves. Except, everything was just too new then - the mindscape, their bond, their feelings - that they focused all their attention on each other. They didn’t understand that taking time away from your soulmate didn’t mean they hated them.)

“...Endeavor, again?” Touya asked, voice hard and brows furrowed, as he watched Keigo construct the hero’s signature fire beard. He probably looked stupid, but still felt powerful. 

“Of course! We’re playing pretend, so who else but the best for me?” 

(He was still childish then, foolish and excitable to catch Touya’s unspoken cues. He trudged on with his wants despite his soulmate’s foul mood.)

With a scoff, Touya crossed his arms. “All Might’s the best, though. Literally No. 1 on the hero charts? Did you forget that, birdbrain?”

“Yeah, but he’s not the bestest best hero to me! I like Endeavor’s determination much more than All Might’s smiles - I mean, he’s always smiling. Isn’t that kinda weird? Anyway - ” Keigo said with a cheery chirp. “You ready, Touya? C’mon, c’mon, who do you wanna be? Burnin’? Hero and sidekick, together? Another top hero? Oh, how about -”

“I’ll be the villain.” 

At that, Touya lit his hands on fire and charged. 

-

“Ow! Stop - stop it! I give! I give!”

Keigo let out a noise far too much like a whimper. With his arms raised defensively over his face, he could do nothing but beg for Touya to stop - to stop holding him down, stop raining burning punches on him - stop because it was unfair. He wasn’t using his quirk as Endeavor didn’t have wings like his. But that wasn’t the case for Touya. 

It shouldn’t have surprised him, considering Touya’s fierce personality, but his soulmate’s hits were hard and dirty - who used a shin kick to knock people down? - and with intent. Touya was quick to smack Keigo’s jaw as a first move, disorienting him and dispersing Endeavor’s beard. He followed it up with pinpoint jabs at Keigo’s vulnerable points, ones the Commission had just taught him days ago. Touya was a bit older, so it made sense that he knew about them. However, it didn’t make sense that he kept targeting them while overwhelming Keigo with a constant roar of flames.

They were playing, weren’t they? Playing heroes and villains? 

Then, why did it hurt like his training, or like - like his father’s fists?

Huffing, Touya finally relented and got to his feet. He looked annoyed, not sparing Keigo a glance as he kicked away a discarded bat. It disappeared in a flutter of lights. From punches to using his quirk and throwing things at him, Touya hadn’t held back at all. Keigo was almost jealous of how well Touya could conjure various things in their mindscape and use them as weapons. 

Biting back a groan, Keigo shakily rose onto his heels and hunched into himself. He avoided touching his bruised forearms, so he yanked at the ends of his sleep shirt instead; it ripped slightly under the force and stress of his grip. 

“That really hurt… ugh, why’d you do that?” A hero was not supposed to get angry, but Keigo couldn’t help glaring at Touya’s back. “Endeavor’s not supposed to be beaten by villains! And you didn’t even play as a no - notorious one -” you were just yourself. “Endeavor would never lose to some no-name villain.”

“What does it matter? You wanted to play pretend. Here, Endeavor can get beaten to hell as well.”

“Ah, hey, that’s a bad word, Touya -”

“Like I care. Fuck off.” 

“Touya! Wait, wait a minute, please don’t go, I -”

“Fuck. Off.” 

-

It took hours upon hours, though luckily still within the same night, for Keigo to talk to Touya again. His soulmate had tried to walk away from him, growls and scowls permanent on his face, but he could never hope to flee from a hero in training with wings. 

“Hey, um…” 

With hesitant steps, Keigo kept a safe distance behind Touya, close enough for them to talk at normal volume, but far enough for Keigo’s reflexes to dodge a fireball. 

“Touya, do you, uh… do you hate Endeavor?” 

Keigo may be a bit stupid, but after tonight’s beating and recalling the recent rough housings whenever he brought up Endeavor, he could see a pattern. “Was he mean to your favorite hero on live TV or something?” 

“No.”

Pouting a bit at Touya’s blunt answer, Keigo thought it was a bit unfair, considering how long he had to follow Touya around their endless mindscape just for a chance to talk about what happened. He was always the first one to reach out after their arguments. 

“Is it the fire? Are you jealous that your moves aren’t as cool as his?” 

“No.”

“Then, uh - he accidentally burned your favorite shop? Maybe he crashed into it? Y’know, he definitely didn’t mean to. He just always does his best against villains -”

“No, and don’t fucking excuse his failures to me.”

“Then, why?!” Keigo exploded, frustrated beyond belief. “C’mon, Touya! Talk to me! I - I hate this. Every time, it’s always me talking, but I barely know anything about you! Aren’t we soulmates?”

“We are. But so what?”

“Huh?” Dumbfounded, Keigo gaped at Touya. “So… what? W - We’re soulmates. Does that not matter to you…?”

“Soulmates don’t automatically make us friends.”

Keigo didn’t understand why not, but this was more talking Touya has ever done. So he tried to keep the conversation alive, even though his heart hurt. “We - We don’t have to be friends! Just, when we’re together, you - I - I don’t know, you can just be nice to me!” 

“Why should I? My parents are soulmates, but my father always beats my mother. Just today, he gave her a black eye, so why the hell do I have to be nice to you?”

It was like his entire world turned upside-down. “W - What? Your… your parents are…?”

Touya tilted his head, looking over his shoulder with a sullen and somehow tired gaze. “You understand now, birdbrain? Don’t come to me anymore. You’re annoying.” 

Putting aside how hurtful Touya’s words were, Keigo didn’t know how to avoid him. 

(Again, neither boys knew how to take time away for themselves yet.)

“We share this mindscape, though? What are you saying, Touya? You want me to just sleep at different times than you?”

“Why not? You’re gonna be a hero, aren’t you? Train instead.”

“I’m already going as fast as I can!” 

The condescending tone didn’t sit well with Keigo; it reminded him too much of his handlers’ pressure. He knew what he had to do. He didn’t need a reminder of it here, not from Touya, who’s also training to be a hero but didn’t act like one at all. 

“As if what you think matters. Ask any of the adults handling your training program. They’ll also think you’re not doing enough.” 

Touya muttered under his breath then. He likely didn’t intend for Keigo to hear it, but his feathers nevertheless picked it up. “...for the two of us, our best will never be enough, anyway.”

Chapter Text

“That’s enough, Touya! You’re just being stupid at this point -”

“Stupid? How fucking dare you?!”

“What, am I wrong? You literally just compared Endeavor to the worst possible known arsonist in history. It’s one thing to not like him, to just not like heroes, but this is going too far!” Keigo growled, hands shaking from the immense control he’s exerting to contain his anger. 

How dare he, damn it!  

Touya knew why Keigo admired, even adored, Endeavor. If it wasn’t for the flame hero, he wouldn’t be standing here today. He wouldn’t be training to be a hero, and wouldn’t be able to become another symbol to help people. Most likely, he would’ve been beaten to death, his body left to rot, and became one with the creaky wooden floor of that accursed place. He still has nightmares of his childhood home, before the Commission picked him up - before they saved him.  

He’d tried to keep an open mind for years solely because Touya was his soulmate. Had it been any other person, Keigo would not have given this much leeway to insult his hero. However, despite his prodding and covert research of news articles to find just how Touya may have been personally wronged by Endeavor, nothing came to fruition. At this point, Keigo could only conclude that Touya just doesn’t like Endeavor. For no logical reason. No case, no proof. And he was on a damn smear campaign, from whispering tall tales of Endeavor’s violent personality to making Keigo search up articles of destruction and casualties from Endeavor’s fights. He wouldn’t be surprised based on how frequently Touya talked smack about Endeavor to Keigo that he was doing it elsewhere, like online. 

Keigo… didn’t really want a heated Internet troll as a soulmate. 

Touya’s shrill scream snapped Keigo back to focus. “Fuck you! Don’t tell me the Commission’s already got you brainwashed, you damn bird? Even though I shared with you that article in confidence -” 

“The author is a known anti-hero activist. How could you take their words at face value?” Because it couldn’t be true. Hundreds of civilians injured, and thousands of homes and businesses burned at the hands of Endeavor just this year? It wasn’t even summer yet. 

“Then where the fuck else would you find any numbers? You think the mainstream would be honest about casualties from heroes?” Touya scoffed. “Forget about criminal casualties - to those assholes on the payroll of billion dollar corporations, criminals aren’t even considered human beings. Fucking hell, a stupid, unthinking, unbreathing fetus would have more rights than criminals to them.”

Keigo sighed, at a loss on how to break down Touya’s rant. He can get so heated, and there was nothing that could stop him. Keigo had half an ear open to listen because he knew Touya would chase him down to get his point across, whatever the hell it was. This being the only time Touya would come to him, and yet, he’d get somehow even more angered if Keigo didn’t respond. 

“Well, maybe everything would be solved if these criminals didn’t go committing crimes then -”

“You think every criminal has a choice?!”

Ah, fuck. Keigo winced from the volume of Touya’s outburst. He must’ve focused on the wrong thing.

“In this day and age, even vandalism or fucking painting murals on abandoned buildings is a criminal offense. Do you know what happened to the last artist that spoke against Endeavor? He was fucking mutilated by Endeavor in the middle of a painting, on some shitty grounds that Endeavor - fucking Endeavor - thought a paint can was a weapon -”

“That would’ve made headline news. But it didn’t -”

“Yeah, because the artist got paid to keep his silence!”

How unreasonable. “Then how did you come across this story?” And prove that it was true?

“Unlike someone, I go through forums. There are plenty of these stories posted, though they have to be careful who to share them with. Who fucking knows whether Endeavor’s PR was lurking? They could get sued to hell and back. After all, nothing could be fixed without money, even severe burns and destroyed businesses and fucking trauma.”

Again, how could he even think of these forums as true? 

Anyone could post stuff online, both truth and falsehoods. His handlers had taught him that exaggerated tales were necessary for clicks, so it was imperative to keep his guard up and maintain his image in public. 

“...Touya, please… Can we not do this tonight?” Massaging his temple, Keigo sighed. He’s tired from training and honestly did not want to deal with this.

“What… are you looking at me like that for? Like you - you’re disappointed in me or something?”

The sudden demure, almost heartbreaking tone, from Touya forced Keigo’s head to snap up. His eyes widened at the glazed sheen over Touya’s turquoise eyes, beautifully vibrant yet dull at the same time. He… he didn’t think Touya had emotions other than anger or sarcasm. Though he still looked plenty angry, there was something under the inferno, something dangerous (for Touya) and scary (for Keigo, because he didn’t know what to do). 

“Touya, what -”

“No, no, shut up! You - it’s you!” Touya screeched, nails raking bloody tracks into his pale chest. “You’re always, always fucking seeing things in black and white. What, your solution was making sure criminals don’t commit crimes? So if a homeless teenager steals from a grocery store because they’re fucking starving - say their family gives no shits because they’ve got a weak quirk or worse, they’re fucking quirkless - and they get charged with a crime, will you not save them? Will you not mourne for them if you find their dead body in some shady back alley because no one would fucking care about a criminal? You’re damn heartless, y’know, hero.”  

As Touya hissed out the last piece like a curse, Keigo barely had a breath before a fireball got hurled at him. It may be his imagination, but there seemed to be sparks of white and blue at the heart of the flames. Just like the white streaks in his hair that have been increasing recently. To be more accurate, he had crimson streaks on his white head, and soon, Keigo suspected that Touya’s colors would no longer match with Keigo. Not that he could analyze it for long, not when Touya was glaring at him as if he was - was the enemy.  

“What the hell?” Keigo gasped, arms raised against the roaring heat. “That was fucking uncalled for!” 

But Touya wasn’t listening. “I - I was right. A hero is nothing more than a villain with a license. I - I don’t want - I won’t become a hero like - like that man. Or you. The fact that society’s entrusted to heroes like you, to Endeavor - to that damn Todoroki Enji - is wrong! It’ll only be a matter of time before all of society collapses. And we’re all fucking doomed!”

“Hey, Touya! Calm down - !”

Keigo didn’t know what prompted him to move, his persistent anger or desire for Touya to just stop or fear that Touya would create an uncontrollable wildfire in their mindscape, he jumped his soulmate. Pushing him down to the ground, he didn’t quite know his plan. But it certainly wasn’t for Touya to grab him back. Their limbs tangling, they fell atop each other. 

Reflex drove Keigo, then. Training kicked in, and all he could think was enemy - there was an enemy before him - and before he knew it, he was pinning his soulmate down with a hand around his throat. Talons extended, as sharp his trimmed talons could be, and foot slammed down on Touya’s thin wrist; Keigo extended his wings wide and snarled threateningly.

And, Touya - 

Touya went silent. He went silent and slack-jawed with wide, shaking eyes. His body was stiff under Keigo, the fight and anger replaced entirely by… by expectations for punishment, as if he expected Keigo was going to hurt him. 

Ah. 

Ah. What was he doing?

No, this was wrong.

Oh god, he shouldn’t have - he can’t - 

A hero doesn’t make someone look at them like this, like - like they’re scared of them. Keigo was not a hero, not yet. Even so, how could he have caused someone, his soulmate no less, to look at him with fear clouding his gaze?

A broken warble slipped past his lips. 

And he ran. 

He ran far and for a long time, through most of the night towards the unending horizon. He didn’t have a destination, just a burning need to be away from Touya, from the hurt and pain and screaming. Eventually, Keigo fell to his knees and clutched his stomach, heaving for breath. He clawed at his arms, gnawing into his bottom lip until he bled. Anything, just to stop himself from spiraling more into a panic attack. He was to be a hero, so why, why, why did he - ? 

Why was Touya his soulmate? They got along like a house on fire.

He didn’t want this, didn’t want to be like this, didn’t want Touya as his - 

(Stop.)

(It was a stupid thought Hawks had in passing when he was still young, foolish, and didn’t know the terror of true loss. So he will not entertain it, even in his recollections.)

(He would always want Touya as his soulmate, as his only mate. There’s no one else for him.)

Keigo folded into himself and wrapped his wings around his frame. Settled in a hidden and unreachable corner of their mindscape, he sobbed.

Chapter Text

I’m sorry, was not something easily said between them.

Early in his life, Keigo has said it in mantra, pleading and desperate, as if it could shield him from his father’s attacks. His mother said it regularly, so silly, naive Keigo believed that was why his father left her alone. Silly, naive, stupid thing he was. Even if he apologized or stayed silent, the amount of battering to his body and ripped feathers would be the same. It took countless beatings for him to finally get it, before I’m sorry lost meaning to Keigo. While he still said it to his handlers and the President, it became more mechanical than anything and just a means to an end.

Perhaps it was the same for Touya.

Since they met, Keigo wouldn’t be able to recall if Touya has ever apologized. No matter how harsh their fights became, or even if Touya started it, even if Keigo screamed that it hurts - stop, I hate this - his soulmate never apologized. 

(Hawks, too, wouldn’t be able to recall. Such a bastard his Touya is, he chuckles fondly.)

(But then, tucked away in the back of his memories - ) 

Imagine Keigo’s surprise that Touya does apologize.

Just, not in the way he expected.

He first found out the night after yet another fight. What it was about, Keigo wouldn’t be able to say. Unfortunately for Keigo, it was around this period that the Commission subjected him to grueling training (experimentations, more like). His handlers would purposely and cruelly strip him of his feathers, snapping them with their hands at the vanes, the sound akin to cracking bones. When left with nothing but downy feathers, useless to fly with, and he was writhing in pain on the floor like a worm, they commanded him to breathe life in the very feathers they tore off him.

They wanted to push the limits of his quirk. They wanted to know if the feathers (and he, himself) would still be useful even broken to this extent. 

Of course they weren’t (of course he wasn’t). 

Except, his handlers didn’t believe him. The President didn’t believe him. They didn’t believe the doctor who did his initial quirk assessment, so of course, they didn’t believe even after plucking Keigo for hours on end. 

(Dissociation. Little Keigo dissociated a lot around this time.)

And Touya witnessed it all.

Keigo would enter their mindscape those nights completely checked out, unable to separate his dreams from reality and vice versa. Flashes of his handlers’ impassive face (because he would very much like to forget that there were also gleeful ones -) would seize his vision and shadows of cruel hands would grope along his body. His shaking would range from slight twitches of his fingers to full on jerks where he’d kick out. Whilst swallowing dry sobs, it’d take all of his effort to remember to breathe. Because -

What was this? Why? Why were they…?

Didn’t they want him to be a hero? Then why were they hurting him far more than his father ever did? 

…or, was it him just not understanding again? 

He’s always been kinda stupid, his father made sure to beat that into him. So it’s possible that he’s… that he’s just not getting their good intentions. They said he’ll be a hero. Becoming a hero wasn’t easy, not everyone could do it even if they won the lottery for their quirk; the Commission has created and managed plenty of amazing heroes, so what they’re doing to - for him - must be a guarantee he became one… right? It has to be. He just… has to trust them on that, that they have the best interest in mind. For him, for society. Because otherwise, what t - they were… t - to him - 

The sudden pressure on his back broke through his thoughts.

And he flinched, hard.

If Keigo was still capable of vocalizing anything, he’s sure he would’ve screeched. Because there’s a hand on him, right between his wings - his torn wings - so close and touching and capable of tearing more - 

“Nnnh.” Ah, so he was still able to make a sound. So he tried to wrap his leaden tongue into words, pleading and desperate. No. Please, no. No more. Don’t hurt me anymore - 

Except, rather than the spike of pain he was anticipating, a gentle warmth spread through the contact.

What…? 

What was this? 

It… was like an expensive heat massage, or at least, what he thought a heat massage would feel like. His tense muscles unwinded unconsciously, a tingle of relief and comfort spreading through his veins, and the shudder he released his time was more a sigh than a silent scream. He hasn’t felt a soothing touch like this since seemingly ages ago, and he focused on it like a lifeline to a drowned boy.

…Touya?

Who else could be here besides him?

Keigo wasn’t that stupid, but it still took a moment to connect this touch with Touya, with his fiery and ruthless soulmate. A soulmate he fought with just recently, and had no illusions of him ever apologizing for it. 

Yet… and yet…

The hand on his back was warm. It was gentle. It felt safe. And it was everything Keigo needed at that moment. 

I’m here, the touch said. You’re not alone, you’re alright, you can rest. 

How Touya conveyed all that with just a single touch confused Keigo, even more so that Keigo knew in his heart that these were Touya’s words. He was just so sure that this was what Touya was saying, just… not past his lips. The means was unusual but not impossible to parse.

I’m sorry. 

“Iii - ah.” It’s okay, Keigo wanted to respond. I’m sorry, too.

The hand on his back gave a minute twitch at that as if he heard Keigo. That made something flutter in Keigo, a tinge of happiness so rare it took him a moment to recognize the feeling. Thank God. So it wasn’t just him. Their connection must’ve gotten stronger despite their endless fighting; he’s happy he could experience many emotions with Touya.

The silence stretched between them. But that was alright. 

The gentle warmth from Touya remained a constant for the rest of the night, even when they shifted to carefully straighten his broken feathers. Salvaging what he could, even if it was useless in reality, the kindness was enough to piece Keigo back together. 

And every night following.

Whenever Keigo fell, a lifeline extended to pull him out of his head and re-spark his will to live, to be a hero. So that someday, he could throw a lifeline back to his soulmate; so that someday, Touya would trust him enough to share his secrets and demons.

-

Touya did not share. 

But at least, he no longer hid his hurt from Keigo.

-

More times than Keigo would have liked, Touya would come into their mindscape covered in burns. Even if he wasn’t medically trained yet, he knew it wasn’t healthy for skin to be damaged over and over like this. The most common burns would run over this hand and forearms like creeping vines, its path only interrupted by massive blotches in the shape of a hand that could only belong to a man three times the size of Touya. 

It kept happening, again and again, and again. 

The wrist was a vulnerable point of the human body, his handler explained; many important veins run down the lithe joint, and receiving an injury there was as dangerous as one at the throat. Besides, people would question it and consider it a show of weakness. 

Touya was not weak. 

But he kept having these painful-looking handprints over his wrist. They formed on his person as naturally as the white that’s fully taken over his hair.

Then, one day, Touya showed up with a handprint around his neck. 

Every instinct lit up within Keigo. A low growl escaped without his notice as his nails dug into his palm and feathers sharpened. “Touya, what is that? Who dare -”

“Shut up. It’s… hah, none of your business.” As if it drained him, Touya closed his eyes and said, “I wanted this…”

Liar, Keigo wanted to snap at him. 

Who in their right mind would want to get choked and burned around their throat?

Yet… looking at Touya’s weary yet accepting expression, Keigo was forced to hold his tongue. A passing thought was that Touya’s situation was scarily similar to his own. While Keigo had his handlers, Touya had this mysterious trainer; and instead of burns, he had clipped wings. Touya was also training to be a hero; injuries during training are a must.

…but wasn’t this going too far? Even Keigo wouldn’t get choked as some form of training.

Who was it that hurt you? That still hurts you? 

Keigo never asked. Because then, he feared he had to acknowledge that his handlers were also hurting him. Which they weren’t - they couldn’t be -

Cutting off that spiraling train of thoughts, Keigo started to ramble. It was both to distract himself from the helplessness and to make Touya react to something. He hated this blank doll-like look on his soulmate. “...you’re alright. You’re asleep right now. Even heroes need proper sleep, even All Might and -” he had to consciously stop himself from saying Endeavor, “- and what was his name? Eraserhead? That underground hero you like, even though you have no idea what he looks like. He’s gotta sleep sometime, too.”

Touya did not react to his words, so Keigo changed scripts. 

“You’re going to be a great hero.” 

His handlers would disagree; Touya has a quirk problem, an attitude problem, and much more. Keigo has seen other kids in the Commission’s program dismissed for lesser issues, but he thought Touya needed someone at this moment to say that. Oftentimes, he himself needed someone to say that too, more as encouragement rather than through orders or reaffirmation of some duty.

(What fucking duty does a kid have to anyone? To society?)

Though they fought as much as they seemed to tolerate each other, Keigo could tell that Touya’s aggression didn’t entirely stem from between them; not everything of Keigo pissed Touya off. Something external was forcing his mood, a spark that Keigo had no control over nor knowledge of. His soulmate would fall asleep angry and naturally make an outlet out of an unfortunate Keigo. It was unfair, but many things were unfair in the world, and Keigo was to be a hero. So the least he could do was… accept Touya. In his entirety, angry and tired as he was. So if he needed empty encouragement at this moment, Keigo would speak all night. Because Touya looked more pitiful than Keigo on his worst days as if he was clinging onto the last wisps of his spirit.

Why do you always look like you want to cry? 

He didn’t think Touya would answer him.

(He’s right, and Hawks is glad he did not ask back then. The glares and poisonous non-answers from Touya would’ve hurt Keigo far more than this hardened hero.)

…do you not trust me to tell me? Will you tell me once I’m a proper hero?

(No, and no.)

(Little Keigo did this a lot, far too much sometimes. He would’ve done mental gymnastics to put fault on himself. But that’s enough mulling. Instead, Hawks wants to remember Touya.)

“So… So, um…” Keigo swallowed, throat feeling dry and tongue heavy. A substantial time must’ve passed since he’d run out of topics. He’d made sure to talk about anything and everything while avoiding stuff that had triggered Touya before; so, anything about heroes, All Might and Endeavor especially, their quirks, family, and more; his soulmate had a laundry list of triggers. Carefully shuffling on his knees towards Touya, Keigo was encouraged when Touya remained silent and didn’t glare at him to back away. “Touya, what… what can I do for you?” 

What can a not-yet-hero like me do for you?

Touya just breathed heavily for a while such that Keigo didn’t think he’d answer him. Until “hah… Just…” A weak grip at the tip of Keigo’s wingtip was startling, so weak and easy to shrug off, but it was enough. 

Just stay here, Touya wanted to say.

With a low croon, showing his understanding, Keigo laid down on his stomach beside Touya. When he stretched the length of his wing over his soulmate’s body like a weighted blanket, Touya seemed to breathe easier. The tenseness in his body slowly unraveled, the perpetual frown he always wore easing, and his hands no longer shook. As his rest became more peaceful, Keigo let out a sigh of relief. 

That’s… that’s good; so, he could do something. 

“Rest now. We’re going to be great heroes together, Touya. Just… hang in there a bit more.”

-

Thank you, Touya.

…thank you… Keigo.

(Thank you, another thing not easily said between them but was understood all the same.)

Chapter Text

One day, Touya didn’t wake.

He didn’t wake up to return to the real world. And he didn’t wake in their mindscape.

(Hawks would always be able to recall this day with terrifying clarity.)

Keigo had accidentally slept off schedule (more like collapsed from training) and entered their mindscape to find Touya. Physically and mentally drained, Keigo didn’t bother with greetings. He only caught sight of Touya from afar, curled on his side in a fetal position and curiously on the ground. He was dressed in a matching white sweatshirt and pants, the color of fresh snow, lined by dark stripes over his limbs. It was a favorite outfit of his, Keigo had noticed, likely worn during quirk training because any time Touya appeared in their mindscape dressed in it, he was in a mood.  

Lately, it has been incredibly hard to even talk with Touya. Just one wrong word, one wrong glance or breath, could set him off on a massive rant about heroes, about birthright and expectations and their neverending training - and why wasn’t it working? - and why, why, why would he no longer look at him? 

It was all so very tiring. 

Keigo never knew what Touya was talking about. And Touya never explained. He’d just look at Keigo with that heated, angry , betrayed expression as if Keigo’s existence wronged him. At the height of his aggression, he’d swipe a kick at Keigo’s shin and even set fire to his feathers; he'd most definitely do so if he caught Keigo training. He’s always had complicated reactions to hearing about and seeing Keigo train. Though never completely supportive, he used to give quiet comfort, especially during Keigo’s catatonic states. From how Touya’s acting now, those soft moments felt like an impossible dream. 

Touya has gone beyond anger to unreasonable, from arguments that made sense half the time to incomprehensible madness. Words no longer held meaning between them. 

It hurt. It was lonely. 

Keigo has long been disillusioned from what a soulmate was.

So Keigo walked away from Touya, again the next when he slept that night, and again the following night. He didn’t stop to question the unnatural stillness or the lack of movement from Touya’s chest, not until the third day when he found Touya in the same spot and position.

“...Touya?” Hesitantly, Keigo knelt beside Touya and shook his shoulder. 

Touya didn’t move.

“Hey, are you okay…?”

Keigo shook harder, accidentally knocking him onto his back. And yet, as his limp arm dropped to the ground and his head rolled, Touya didn’t open his eyes. More importantly, he wasn’t breathing.

“Touya?!”

Instincts kicked in, Keigo performing CPR impulsively and without thought. They were in a mindscape where physical injuries and lifesaving procedures would have no effect in reality. Keigo should’ve known, considering how often Touya would beat him here in the guise of playing or burn his feathers, and he’d wake fully intact. Yet Keigo continued pumping Touya’s unmoving chest and forcing air into his lungs. 

He wouldn’t be able to recall how long he did that, with the panic and guilt clouding his mind. 

He should’ve checked sooner, should’ve talked to Touya sooner. Touya would’ve never talked about his problems, but so what? He knew that about his soulmate. What use was his quirk if he couldn’t tacitly pick up the signs? Keigo was to be a hawk, a predator and observer of the highest degrees, hardwired to detect danger. What use was being a hero if he didn’t act on them? If he let his soulmate die because of - of his neglect? 

Keigo’s breath hitched, his frantic movements stilling.

Die…? 

Could Touya die? Just like this? 

Would he remain a corpse, haunting their mindscape? Would Keigo have to forever live like this, sleeping and waking to an open casket of his soulmate? Or, would Touya crumble into ashes someday, gone so suddenly like his voice and breath, and existence forcibly ripped away? 

No - ! No, no, please, no!

Keigo pulled Touya into his arms, feeling mounting despair when Touya’s body came easily. He was too light, making it effortless to lift onto a bed Keigo willed into the mindscape. Despite him being older, in recent years, Keigo has gained more muscles and overall body mass. And yet, it shouldn’t have been this easy to manhandle Touya, someone whose presence and drive rivaled that of top heroes.

Words from Keigo’s latest secret forage of books not mandated by his handlers came to mind then. Words like: ‘there was always life to be found in fire, dancing within its colors and crackling sparks… The time for its end was nigh, inevitable, as even the largest infernos cannot exist forever - such was life - and it’s with a promise that all will burn, ashes to wake and smoke to fate. Everything dear, everything turned intangible and fleeting… fleeting…’

Just like this accursed moment, where it felt like Touya was slipping with each breath. 

And Keigo cried. 

He screamed and tore into himself for being stupid, stupid, so fucking stupid. 

When he woke, he dove through the Commission’s library like a madman. He needed to know how soulmates would know the other had passed. Because he feared with all his heart that this was it, that this was the sign that Touya was dead. 

To his immense relief, he discovered first-hand interviews of soulmates detailing events of loss, a vicious feeling akin to losing a limb, and the lack of their other half in their mindscape. 

But Touya was still there.

It meant his mind was still intact - that he was still alive - even if by all accounts seemed otherwise.

And Keigo had shed silent tears, carefully away from his handlers as he returned the books and deleted his browsing history. 

Though, reassurance wouldn’t be the only thing he found in his desperate scramble. He found more - much, much more. Like Touya’s full name. Like the cold missive of Touya’s death, that would rattle his faith; it was a single article published in the Sunday newspaper, lacking empathy and condolences, and so easily buried under the next viral topic. He would also learn of Endeavor’s silence as he retreated behind a wall of fire and ferocity; how the number of villains arrested by him spiked, along with the number of them sent to the hospital for intensive care.

And every night, Keigo would return to a still Touya. Keigo didn’t know if this was a curse. His birthday passed without fanfare. At only twelve years of age, he’d somehow come to understand what widows felt. 

That feeling would last for days, weeks… a year. 

Then, two. 

Three years later, as Keigo became the sole success of his generation of trainees and received the name Wing Hero: Hawks, Touya remained unresponsive and dead to the world.

-

Until one day, just as suddenly, Touya woke up. His pretty turquoise eyes, the most beloved trait of his soulmate, were glazed over but open. And he was breathing, his thin chest rising in a steady tempo. He did not comment on Keigo’s grown self, his lost time, nor return Keigo’s desperate hug. 

That was alright. 

At least he did not push him away. 

Keigo just hung on, weeping in joy but also because he could tell… tell that something had died inside of Touya as he laid there silently. His soulmate did not die, but he did not return fully intact. And Keigo realized then that though the smoke had finally gathered into something tangible, it was still just as fragile, still so likely to disappear. It made him swear to himself to never take his soulmate for granted again. He swore a thousand times over and more as he buried his face into the dip of Touya’s shoulder, listening to that precious heartbeat against his ear. 

-

(It’s been nearly a decade since.)

(And Touya continues to exist within his thirteen-year-old body in their mindscape.)

Chapter Text

“Welcome back, birdie.”

“I’m back, hot stuff.” Hawks smiles wide, as he skips towards his soulmate. 

Touya is strewn over a couch in their designated shared space. It’s a gaudy thing they call a living room with random walls erected simply to hang frames. While Touya has kept an orderly aesthetic for furnishings, leaning towards black emo vibes, Hawks tends to fill it up with interesting, or straight up weird, items he sees from antique roadshows or the Internet. Hawks went through quite an extensive trial period on whether something he willed into this space would make Touya laugh or set it on fire. In return for his fun, Hawks also made sure to scatter a bunch of soft materials and perches for Touya’s inner housecat to enjoy, even if the material is inconvenient for his feathers. Compared to leather textures, it’s annoying when the barbs of his feathers would catch on the loose thread. Nevertheless, it’s a space they made together, and Hawks relishes in its comfort and the fact that Touya’s using it.

They have their own rooms within their mindscape, separated by intent rather than walls. Hawks doesn’t know where in this infinite space Touya has constructed his, and there’s no chance he’d be able to just stumble upon it without Touya’s invitation. That’s okay. He knows his soulmate is a very private person. In contrast, he’s made his room very visible; it’s the rather conspicuous floating island, with its lack of walls and doors, always open for Touya. 

Hawks doesn’t hesitate to drop to his knees before the couch, burying his head into Touya’s stomach and wrapping his arms around him. His soulmate is all lanky in his eternally thirteen-year-old body, very uncomfortable in terms of a body pillow, but he’s warm. 

His heartbeat is steady. 

He’s alive. 

What more could Hawks want? 

Oh, Hawks lets out a pleased hum when small fingers card through his hair.

That’s good too - very good. Hawks might be a bit biased, but he’s pretty sure Touya has the nicest hands in the world. They’re slightly rough from quirk training but still very pretty and always perfectly manicured. Not to mention the amazing massages he gives, capable of erasing all the stress of any long workday. While the comfort doesn’t transition to Hawks’ physical body in a mindscape, his mind can still find peace here.

Touya must be in a lazy mood, considering he hasn’t pushed Hawks away or turned his hair into a bird’s nest. There’s even a small smile on that cute face when Hawks chirps. 

But right as he melts into the touch, there’s a tug on his bangs, and then the strands are being done into ugly braids. Ah, there we go… this brat. Full of mischief as always. Hawks blows a loud raspberry into Touya’s stomach in retaliation, and delights at the surprised bark of laughter. More raspberries follow on Touya’s arms, then shoulder and neck, as Hawks practically climbs his soulmate to join him on the couch.

“That tickles -” Touya struggles while trapped under Hawks’ firm body, but it’s half-hearted, and no one’s truly capable of moving the No. 2 hero. He squeaks when Hawks presses his lips against his cheek, squeezing his eyes shut. “Wait, Keigo, you bastard -”

“Be a good boy and take my kisses, Touya! Mwah! Mwah!”

“Fuck, gross! Don’t slobber all over me! What are you, a dog? Stop, damn it!”

Ah, Touya’s potty mouth is always a joy to hear, especially when paired with that adorably thin voice. It’s a trait of his soulmate that he likes very much, along with that wild laughter and red flush on his pale complexion. There’s also his bright, dazzling smile and that turquoise - those gorgeous turquoise eyes - that rivals the most expensive gemstones; his inner bird practically sings everytime they’re focused on him. And, fuck, Hawks thinks he just likes everything about Touya. 

He’s sure even in his adult form, he’d like him too.

Hawks grabs Touya’s hands and intertwines their fingers together, pinning him down lengthwise across the couch with his body. He buries his face into the white curls and just… lies there over Touya like a weighted blanket, crimson wings spread to curl around them. When the hero doesn’t move for a long, long… long time, Touya just sighs and relaxes under him. 

“Long day?”

Hawks groans. “Like you couldn’t imagine.”

“Try me.”

“You’re gonna think it’s hilarious.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” says Touya, chuckling. “Whatever happened made you look like something a rapid cat dragged in. I’m sure it’s fucking hilarious.”

“Mean! My soulmate is so mean to me - !” 

Even without seeing it, Hawks knows Touya just rolled his eyes at him. “Hurry up, and tell me already.”

Hawks hesitates for an instance but pushes through; this is something his soulmate should know about. “My boss wants me to infiltrate the League.”

Touya flinches. Well, kinda. To the untrained eye, it’s unlikely they would’ve seen Touya react at all, but Hawks hasn’t spent years with his soulmate to not know his every tell. It also helps that he’s lying on top of Touya to feel the slight shudder racking his chest, the stuttered inhale, and the flash of heat under his palms. 

Eventually, Touya rasps out a small, “...what?” 

“I’m infiltrating the League as a double agent. Y’know, the League of Villains, the ones that kidnapped that U.A. explosive brat, led by creepy, dusty hands All For One successor -”

“Enough, birdie. I know about the League. Just - why?”

“Because we no longer have a symbol of peace, and heroes desperately need information into this group before they can inspire even more villains -”

“But why the fuck are they sending you?”

“Because I’m the best they’ve got? Hot stuff, you wouldn’t believe how many acting classes and inclusive training I got sent to. I’m practically an expert at making friends!”

“Making friends with villains and being a double agent are two very different things.” Touya deadpans. “I can’t believe you thought I’d find this funny. And why are you talking like it’s a done deal like you’re gonna do it? Even a birdbrain like you must think this mission is fucking dumb. That bitch boss of yours has finally gone full mental. Like, what - shit, let me up. I can’t tell you how stupid everything is like this -”

Woah, it’s been a while since Touya’s gone full rant. 

Hawks reluctantly allows Touya to sit back up, the latter not missing a beat in insulting Hawks’ or the Commission’s intelligence every other sentence. But Hawks knows his soulmate well. Eyes of a hawk and all, y’know? The rant is quite repetitive, despite Touya usually being a fastball kinda guy. And that cross expression… he’s making a tout effort of playing concerned and angered on Hawks’ behalf, but he can sense the jittery tension all along Touya’s body like a stripped wire. 

Somehow, in some way, his assignment with the League affects Touya personally.

For some time, the hero has a budding theory for where his soulmate ended up. The news and the Commission’s records would like to report that Todoroki Touya, Endeavor’s pitiful eldest, had tragically died from a quirk accident but Hawks, being privy to this exclusive mindscape, knows better. Todoroki Touya is alive and happy to let people believe he’s dead. Because he no longer wants to be connected to that Todoroki name? Because he has become something, or someone, that wouldn’t be easily accepted by society?

For example, like… a villain? Maybe one that’s been making headlines for his seemingly indiscriminate acts of arson and trail of extra crispy bodies?

Of course, Hawks knows from unofficial records that these bodies belong to incredibly violent criminals, often those with a penchant for child abuse. It’s hilarious. Dabi’s got a type, though not more hilarious than the Commission and police willingly obscuring that particular detail from the public. With their fear heightened, the more the villain’s name would get dragged through the mud; this would only exponentiate the praise and rewards their eventual capturer would gain. Hawks hates how their society works sometimes. 

Anyway, his boss assigned him Dabi as the specific contact and best chance into the League, which makes sense after that whole fiasco with the Shie Hassaikai. Even though Hawks is 90% sure Touya, his precious soulmate, is Dabi.  

Hawks never saw Touya’s flames run blue before, but what if? Fuck, what if?

Hawks is not a romantic, but he doesn’t want their first meeting, in reality, to be because of the Commission’s orders. Fuck that. That’s how shitty melodramas with star-crossed lovers start. He wants to take Touya out to dinner! Also, lavish him with a grand date Hawks may or may not have been planning for the past few years. He wants to shamelessly drape himself all over Touya’s warm adult body and gross everyone out with their PDA. And if they can’t do it publicly? So fucking what? He’s got safe houses that the Commission doesn’t know about -

“Keigo, hey, are you listening to me? Can’t you refuse it?”

Hawks blinks out of his daydream to focus back on Touya. “Refuse what?”

“The goddamn mission, asshole. It’s fucking suicidal.”

“How so?”

Oh, how fun, Touya’s looking at him like he’s the world’s biggest dumbass. 

“Seriously? I have to spell it out for you? You think that after All For One’s very public arrest on live TV would make the League all happy go lucky and receptive to new members? Especially you, with your big ass wings and showy heroics? Hell, even if you miraculously get to meet with Shiggy, the mother fucker is paranoid as fuck. One wrong word and you’ll be turned into dust in an instant. Also, your reputation will go up in flames if any hero or official catches you. That really something you want? To always be on your guard 24/7? I thought you wanted more free time, not to become some martyr.”

Out of that entire spiel, Hawks caught only one thing. Shiggy, huh? What a cute nickname. 

He’s 99% sure now.

“Well?” With a kick to Hawks’ shin, Touya hisses out. “You’re refusing, right?” 

Hawks smiles and shakes his head. “Nah, I’m doing it.” 

As expected, Touya bristles angrily at that, his thin shoulders shaking and nails digging slits into the couch. Even like this, he’s still cute like a puffed-up, screeching cat that can not only scratch out Hawks’ eyes but also burn all his feathers right off. Hawks isn’t a masochist or a thrill seeker, but he understands that fire quirks are usually tied to their user’s emotions, causing their volatile nature. And what are warning labels for the No. 2 hero? Mere suggestions, that’s what, ha. Also, he’s pretty sure Touya likes him enough to not cause lasting emotional damage. 

Sparks of flames flick over Touya’s forearms in flashes of orange, red, and - ah, there. There’s a flicker of blue, as well. Fleeting and beautiful, but real.

That’s 100%, then.

Oh. Hm, well… that’s fine.

Surely a normal, sensible hero would probably be freaking out from discovering his soulmate is a villain, but Hawks has long made peace with it. Besides, he likes piercings, and staples are similar; very shiny, very pretty; and he’s taken enough classes to know how to care for extensive scarring. He won’t lose his soulmate to the shitty justice system, where the Commission’s poisonous claws have sunk in. 

“Takami Keigo.”

Oh, dear. Touya’s really about to blow if he’s spitting out the full names. 

Still, “Todoroki Touya,” Hawks bounces back and pointedly ignores the snarl that rips past Touya’s lips. 

His soulmate always has a harsh, visceral reaction anytime Hawks alludes to his relation to Endeavor. He still doesn’t know why but will sooner or later. This is the one secret Hawks won’t allow between them. He needs to know if gutting the No. 1 hero is in his future plans, and lots of preparations are necessary for that kinda stunt.

“I’ve already accepted the mission. It came straight from the President herself - what do you think I could’ve done?”

“Tell her to fuck off for once.”

Hawks shakes his head, chuckling. “You know I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” Touya challenges. There’s a fire blazing in those turquoise eyes. “Damn it, Keigo, I can’t understand you. To willingly stay with the Commission even though it’s killing you, even though you fucking hate those kinda people… You’ve got enough popularity to make it on your own, so why don’t you? You wouldn’t be forced to do something absolutely stupid like infiltrating the League, so fucking why - ?!”
“Touya, calm down.” 

Cupping his soulmate’s face, Hawks gently coaxes him to silence. Because Touya’s voice at its tail end was getting pitched, shaky and desperate. He doesn’t want to hear that; Touya doesn’t want that, either. His soulmate is so strong, so any hint of weakness can cause him to shut down.

“I’m sorry, Touya…” Hawks says because he genuinely is. He finds no pleasure in distressing his soulmate. Throughout this night, Touya has made many, many logical points; why Hawks shouldn’t take this mission, why he shouldn’t remain in the cage of the Commission. However, “I’m really sorry, but I won’t leave. And within the next week, I’ll make contact with the League. Nothing you say will stop me.” 

Because unbeknownst to Touya, there’s a reason for the hero’s stubbornness - an incredibly important one - that he wouldn’t mind getting hurt for.

Because if Hawks leaves… with what means, could he learn about Touya then? 

The Commission is the best source of information, and as its best agent, he’s got access to most if not all confidential reports gathered across Japan. That’s how he discovered his soulmate’s full name, his supposed death, and the children's hospital Touya spent three years in a coma in (which Hawks has snuck out to visit but never dared to enter because seeing his soulmate's still body was worse in reality -), and much more… God… so, so much more. Like Todoroki Rei’s forceful admission into the mental hospital; the wounds a small, far too small, Todoroki Shouto suffers from regularly, all of which were handled secretly by a doctor under the Commission’s payroll; or, the fate of “traitors” like his senior, Lady Nagant. Also, he has access to the background investigations into the League, from Toga Himiko’s and Twice’s pitiful past to reports of police narrowing down the location of their hideout. And finally, how the President and select higher-ups already have suspicions of Dabi’s identity and their disposal plan to safeguard Endeavor’s reputation. 

Perhaps Hawks can revise his reason after securing his place in the League once he has a proper hold on his slippery, feral cat of a soulmate in reality. For now, he will continue to be the darndest best agent the Commission has ever had.

Touya closes his eyes and breathes shakingly. “...you’re a fucking idiot.”

“I’m your idiot.” Hawks grins, laughing at Touya’s grimace. “Your pretty bird… your hero, your one and only soulmate.” 

“Stop - ugh, shut up.” 

The blush that takes over Touya’s face is adorable, and Hawks coos at the sight. 

This isn’t the first time they’ve had this argument. The Commission often wears him down to the bones, and Touya would demand Hawks to leave the Commission. And every time, Hawks would refuse. Hawks would spout some nonsense that he owes the Commission for raising him and nurturing his potential, that staying with them is his life’s calling. Lies, all lies. But they are both liars. Hawks suspects that Touya has a hidden agenda, as well, in his demand; after all, any villain would benefit from a top hero ditching the Commission. 

“Fuck, Keigo - seriously, stop. I’m still mad at you. And your boss. But mostly you… yeah, definitely still at you, you fucking chicken.”

A sharp elbow into Hawks’ ribs pushes the hero away as Touya scoots to the end of the couch. With the slight distance between them, Hawks can see Touya adopt a firm gaze. Apparently, the argument isn’t done for tonight. 

“Touya -”

“No, shut up. Listen to me. Even though I think you’re the world’s biggest idiot, you’re not. I know you’re not. So I can’t let this go, not today. I… Keigo, get out of the Commission. Don’t take that stupid mission.” 

Hawks blinks and listens and watches closely. 

This is different.

Thus far, they’ve been able to agree to disagree on any matters about the Commission, about hero society, and most recently about Stain. They’ve silently yet begrudgingly accepted their clashing opinions if only to maintain the peace within this mindscape. However, it seems this mission has finally broken the mold. It must have really spooked Touya. There’s fierce determination in Touya’s gaze, and he’s clenching and unclenching his fists, a nervous tick, likely done unconsciously and not something Hawks has ever seen him do before.

It nearly makes Hawks agree. He’d agree to anything to calm his soulmate, but this… this feels like he’s on the cusp of discovering Touya’s biggest secret. So he pushes.

“I can’t.” 

“Keigo, you bastard -”

And he pushes, even when blue flames spark like firecrackers across Touya’s arms. 

“I really can’t. I’m sorry. I’m not bullshitting you, Touya, but I really can’t -”

“No! Fuck, shut up. Just - listen! I’m going to kill Endeavor, okay?!”

Oh. Hm, well… Hawks suspected. But it’s still nice to hear it confirmed. It reaffirms Hawks’ plans, his getaway routes, and safe houses. His non-surprise must reflect on his face because Touya narrows his eyes. He’s probably confused and definitely vexed that Hawks isn’t reacting properly to his declaration to murder the No. 1 hero and Hawks’ coworker, like wanting to commit patricide is as normal as selecting a restaurant for lunch. 

“Did you hear me, Hawks?” His soulmate calls out to the hero. “I - I’m going to kill Endeavor.”

It’s a slightly hilarious situation. This thirteen-year-old child, whose height stands less than half of Endeavor, is saying such scary things with his thin, shrill voice. But in reality, he houses a furnace that burns brighter than any other and surely with great reason, one that Hawks isn’t privy to. Yet. So he asks.

“Why?” When Touya rolls his lips, Hawks pushes. “Why, Touya?”

“It’s… because I - I -” 

Because Endeavor abused him? Nearly killed him? Tortured his mother and siblings? All of these very possible reasons swirl in Hawks’ head, ready to catch them from Touya’s lips. 

But nothing comes.

Instead, Touya shakes his head and squeezes his eyes shut. And shuts down, doors closed off, locked and keys thrown away. The show of vulnerability must’ve caught up to him and hit him hard, much to Hawks’ dismay. Because when Touya looks up, the nervous tick is gone and Touya’s face has taken on that calm, tired, and determined mask that Hawks hates the most in the world; no amount of screaming or pleading can puncture it.

“What does it matter? We’re talking about you.”

Fucking hell. So close. 

This is typical Touya, though. Deflect, deflect, anger, deflect. If Hawks loved him a bit less, he would’ve stabbed him.

“I’m going to kill Endeavor.” 

He says it like it’s a life mission, where he’ll either succeed or die trying.

“And you know how he’s got the Commission’s backing? I might not target them directly, but they’ve pissed off too many people. Even you…” You won’t be safe from them, Hawks hears. 

It’s as much of a warning that he’s going to get. Touya has always been a straightforward, bulldozing, kinda guy with his convictions. So if he’s dead set on being a villain, this offhand warning to a hero is really him going wayward, like a stain of white on an all-black canvas. 

But he still did it. Because Hawks is his soulmate. 

Hawks understands that and loves Touya for it.

“I’ll be fine.” Hawks promises. 

Touya doesn’t know, not after all the lies Hawks have stacked, but there’s no way he’ll sink ship with the Commission. He has no loyalty to them, not since Touya’s ‘death’ nearly a decade ago.

“But I won’t let you go after Endeavor.” Not alone, that is. Not if it’ll spell out Touya’s true death. 

Touya shoots him a scathing glare at that, the worst one of tonight thus far. He’s probably recalling all their past arguments, accounting Hawks’ words as simple hero talk, maintaining the status quo, putting Endeavor through a trial that could never be fair, blah blah blah, and all that bullcrap. Sure, as a hero, Hawks operates on the belief that a quiet society is the most peaceful kind. But he’s willing to throw it all away for one person. 

Touya doesn’t know. Of course not. 

It’s just Hawks’ luck that his soulmate can be such a stupid bastard too.

It’s his worst trait. After so many years together, Hawks knows his soulmate quite well. Touya wants to be understood but doesn’t want to share out of fear of seeming weak. He wants to be heard but doesn’t know how to turn off his poisonous mouth. His rage has carved out a single plank bridge and would never allow anyone to join him, not even his soulmate who’s capable of flying them both out. Stupid, emotionally repressed bastard (not that Hawks can say much, considering his own upbringing). 

This is why Hawks holds back on telling Touya everything he knows, especially his long-held resolve to join Touya’s plans for patricide. Poor guy would be totally lost on what to do with it.

If Touya deflects, Hawks distracts.

So he makes a show of himself and whines loudly. “C’mon, ya think it’d even be a fair match? Endeavor would beat you to the ground in seconds. But I won’t let that happen. You’re mine first. I haven’t forgotten all the shit you’ve put me through. You’ve always been such an asshole to me, ever since we first met.” Hawks scoots across the couch towards Touya, leaning over him and bracketing his small frame with his arms. His wings spread around them like a crimson shield. “Don’t you think I deserve a good punch or two to that pretty face of yours? I’ve been holding back all this time, so you could truly feel it outside our dreams.”

Hawks is serious about the punch. And serious about taking Touya out on a grand date, getting warm hugs and kisses, and being overall gross with their PDA. Though, there's no need for his soulmate to know he’s a closet romanticist; he gets teased enough.

“You’d let me, right?” Hawks grins. “Indulge your soulmate for once.”

Touya blinks. And again, visibly dumbfounded. 

It’s a very cute look on him.

After a few seconds of rare silence between them, Touya snorts and then breaks out in wild laughter. Hawks’ smile stretches. 

“A - Are you serious?” Touya coughs out. “That’s all you, ha, gotta say after I said I’m gonna kill Endeavor? You c - crazy bastard, HAHA! What kind of shitty hero are you?”

“I told you.” Shifting one hand to pull Touya in close, Hawks nuzzles his cheek. “I’m your hero.” And here, he lets a bit of truth drop. “Can’t let you go after your old man when you seem so keen on dying with him. Also, two fire users duking it out? Please don’t. The cleanup would be super annoying.”

Touya shakes in his arms and wings, still wracked with mirth. “Crazy…” A pretty turquoise eye peeks up at him. There’s not a hint of anger in that gaze but rather fond and exasperated. “You still care about me, birdie? I guess I haven’t been enough of a bitch to you.”

“Oh, you have. You are the worst bitch I've ever had the pleasure of being in my life.”

“Pfft - Keigo, you fucking asshole - !” Another round of boisterous laughter.

Hawks loves this sound. 

Hawks loves him.

So he notices when the cheer dies down when Touya nestles his face into Hawks’ shoulder and mumbles. “Really… what an asshole you are. So annoying and nosy and stupid…” Touya has enough experience with Hawks’ quirk to know he can hear everything clearly, and yet he continues. “You’re so dangerous… to me. A dangerous distraction. My family already thinks I’m dead, but you… you’re so clingy…” 

He doesn’t say it like an insult, but there’s still something resigned about it that makes Hawks frown. “Touya, what’s wrong?”

“You, idiot. It’s always you.” Leaning back, Touya faces Hawks straight on. His thin arms rest on Hawks’ shoulder in a halfhearted hug, which Hawks remedies with his own arms wrapping tight around Touya’s waist. Touya smiles and doesn’t try to break free. “You never listen to me. You won’t leave the Commission. Won’t let me kill Endeavor… Must you always be a menace? Really, even though you shouldn’t act so cordial towards me. You won’t like me in reality, so the smart thing would be to at least let me do whatever I want. Just enough that you get your reasons to arrest me, and let the Commission try their freaky voodoo magic to break our bond.”

“No way. I’m not breaking anything.” Hawks retorts. “And I will like you.”

Because if he’s sure of anything, it’s his affection towards Touya.

Touya’s smile goes a bit crooked, as if in disbelief but still willing to humor Hawks. “So stupid. But, yeah, if it’s you…” Snow white lashes flutter, and Touya’s words come out soft and tired. “Stain said he’ll accept getting killed by All Might. Might as well you be that for me, right?”

A broken warble slips out, as Hawks blanches. “What the fuck, Touya?”

What the hell? 

How could Touya ever think Hawks could do him harm? 

How could…? 

Was it his fault? 

The sea of secrets and mountains of lies have complicated their relationship, but Hawks thought that at least - at least Touya knew he cared deeply for him.

“How could you say such a cruel thing?” Fuck, he feels like crying. “Asking me to kill you, my soulmate? Someone that fate has decided is your half? You sound like a villain.”

“You have no idea, pretty bird.”

Oh, but he does.

Hawks contemplates breaking all pretenses and coming clean with everything he knows but goes still when Touya cups his face. His thumbs gently sweep under his eyes, coming out wet, and ah - so he did tear up. But Touya doesn’t retract his words, only continues smiling in that dreary, resigned way that Hawks is starting to hate. 

It’s then that Hawks’ vision goes dark, covered by Touya’s warm palms. “Touya, what -”

“Shhh. I’m done screaming at you for tonight.”  

Yet Hawks feels Touya climbing into his lap, a clear sign that his soulmate still has more to say if he’s staying close and not just disappearing to wherever Hawks can’t follow.

Flinching, Hawks’ feathers catch movement, a distortion occurring within their mindscape. Touya’s doing something, changing something - 

And then Hawks feels it. 

Touya’s palms seem to have grown in size, along with the body straddling him. His body is still warm and bony, still uncomfortable with his elbows and knees digging sharp craters into Hawks’ body, but he can’t focus on that. Because across his face, he feels the unnatural press of metal and - and blood, like open wounds, are being pressed against him. Hawks chokes from his senses being overwhelmed by the smell of iron and rust and hurt; his soulmate is hurt, is constantly hurting -

The soft press of lips on his forehead jolts him. 

When Touya speaks, his voice is deep and raspy. “Forget me, and become a great hero, Keigo.” 

And then Touya’s gone.

Hawks opens his eyes to an empty space. It’s alone on the couch that he clutches his chest, attempting to count the beats and calm himself against the stampeding symphony swirling in his mind. It’s a fruitless effort because, within the next breath, he’s reduced to laughing like a loon. Oh, is this why Touya laughed like that before? It’s a good reaction to this ridiculousness, to their cruel circumstances, to their love.

“‘Forget me?’” He repeats incredulously, dropping his head as he’s seized by another wave of hysterics.

What a stupid bastard. So dramatic and infuriating. 

It’s with a full inhale that Hawks yells out to the horizon. “Fuck no!”

Hawks is a damn great hero. And a better soulmate. 

“I’ve never listened to you once, so watch your fucking back, Touya!” Once they wake, he won’t be able to flee so easily. Hawks is more than happy to continue their cat and mouse game there, where he’s got higher chances of winning. “I’ll catch you soon, so don’t even fucking blink in Endeavor’s direction!” 

It may be a trick of his mind, but Hawks swears he hears a chuckle back.