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“Worst. Birthday. Ever.”
Victoria sighs and hugs her big purple body pillow close, feeling more than a little sorry for herself. Today was a typical Thursday in the middle of August, unremarkable in all respects save for one: that it happened to be the anniversary of the day Victoria Chase was born eighteen (scratch that , nineteen ) years ago. She was celebrating it mostly by still being in bed in her pajamas after noon, alone save for her collection of anime figurines and wall scrolls she’d collected over the years… which was, admittedly, pretty pathetic for a girl whose main aspiration until recently had been to claw her way to the top of her high school social scene.
“Yeah, like that was a sane and worthwhile goal to have,” she mutters, kicking sullenly at a pile of pink, white, and purple throw pillows that shared her queen-size canopy bed, sending them tumbling down to the garishly fuschia-colored carpet below. Okay, so she MAY have gone through a bit of a princess phase after coming out in middle school, saddled smack in the middle of her short-lived horse girl phase and currently ongoing weeb phase. All of which would be more than a little embarrassing if there was any danger of someone coming to visit her here in her Seattle apartment, birthday girl or no.
Spoiler alert: there isn’t.
She checks her phone to see if there were any notifications she’d somehow missed (there aren’t), and sighs again. The fact that she’d gotten scant few “Happy Birthday!” messages is, admittedly, mostly her own fault. Even discounting the fact that she’d managed to convince all but a handful of trusted friends amongst the Blackwell Academy class of 2014 that her birthday was actually in November (to give them an excuse to throw a huge party in her honor during the school year, naturally), she’d done such a thorough job of demolishing her social standing during the self-inflicted drama of last fall that even that small circle of confidantes had drastically diminished.
Which isn’t to say Victoria hadn’t heard from anyone, mind you. She’d awakened to several “Sinh nhật vui vẻ!” texts from some of her relatives in Vietnam, which was nice… at least from the ones who bothered to get her name and pronouns right. Then there were her parents, of course, who’d handed over the latest models of cellphone and camera and car keys like it was just another yearly chore they had to perform before going about their work day. Hell, she’d even gotten a text from Maxine (scratch that, Max ) Caulfield, though for the life of her she couldn’t figure out how the hipster-wannabe turned photography rival turned frenemy turned begrudging friend even knew her other “birthday” was fake, much less that this was the real one.
The highlight of course had been her post-brunch skype call from Taylor and Courtney, the two besties who’d stuck by her through all of last year’s self-inflicted turbulence… and who’d finally started dating each other a couple of months before graduation. Victoria had done her best not to feel envious over how happy the pair seemed, living their best gay lives together in California ahead of starting at UCLA while she was alone in Seattle with her lips continuing to go tragically unkissed by pretty girls… and she’d mostly succeeded. Mostly.
“So wish you could be here, babe,” the bubbly blonde Taylor had said apologetically. “That way we could party it up right!”
“For real!” the raven-haired and starry-eyed Courtney chimed in. “The scene down here is, like, wild, you’d fit right in!”
Victoria fended off their lamentations with promises to fly down as soon as they all had a free weekend, and further promises to let them know how the rest of “her day” goes. She didn’t mention that the plan for “her day” was to continue binging her favorite anime until her parents drag her out of the house for a perfunctory dinner at some fancy restaurant, before coming home and getting right back to it ‘til she passes out. You know, living the dream.
She also didn’t mention that there was really only one person in particular that she wanted to hear from, anyway. And she was someone who didn’t even know the significance of today at all.
That last thought bids Victoria’s eyes to wander away from the flat screen TV across the room and over to a particular framed picture that inhabits a place of honor on her wall. There rests a gift from last November that means more to her than just about anything else in the world… A framed portrait painted in bright, cheerful water colors, depicting a chibi-style schoolgirl with her hair tied back in a giant bun, pink-cheeked and smiling brightly alongside the white and black spotted bunny rabbit to her left, the pair of them waving at the viewer above an inscription written in delicate cursive:
“Wishing you a very HOPpy Birthday - Kate & Alice Marsh.”
It wasn’t just that said painting was one of the most adorable gifts she’d ever been given that made it so special to her. Or even that someone thought Victoria was worthy of something crafted with such love and care (though that was, of course, a big part of its charm)... No, it was mostly the fact that it came from someone from whom she’d had no right to ever expect to give her such a gift in the first place, much less to have the honor of calling her a friend.
Friend … that wasn’t quite the word that she’d use to describe Kate Marsh or, more specifically, the tangled swirl of guilt and affection and desire and yearning that cropped up in her heart whenever she saw her, or spoke to her, or even just thought about her. But having a friendship with such a quiet, compassionate, generous and forgiving young woman was, quite frankly, already far more than Victoria would ever believe she deserved… and it was something she’d be sure to cherish until the end of her days.
“Oh, Katie…” Victoria whispers, wishing that she could somehow bottle up all her feelings and emotions and send them floating Kate’s way for her to find and open or discard at her pleasure. Not that she’d ever have the guts to do so. Nor did she have any right to after… well, everything.
Victoria gives her head a firm shake before wrenching her gaze away from the painting that had so thoroughly captured her attention and back to the TV. She knows from the hard experience of many lonesome summer nights that letting herself wish for something that could never be was the quickest way to sour an already sufficiently self-pitying mood… and besides, Sour Berry Panic!!! isn’t going to watch itself, right?
She’s just about to resume the current episode she’d been watching (the one where Agent Blueberry gets ensnared by the “Juicing Machine” comprised entirely of multitudinous writhing, elongated tongues, and her only hope for rescue is yet another Heel Face Turn by her enemy-with-benefits, Rogue Raspberry) when her phone chimes. Trying to quell the fragile wisp of hope sprouting in her heart, she checks her lock screen… only to recognize the very distinctive contact name and for said heart to suddenly leap into her throat. Scrambling to find her glasses and put them on, she unlocks her phone and opens the chat app.
KT 🐰💕 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY TORI!!! <3
KT 🐰💕 - FIRST of all…
KT 🐰💕 - I am VERY cross with you for not telling me! 😡💢
“Oh my fucking God how can you possibly be this cute?!” Victoria says aloud before, as usual, typing something entirely different in the text box. She’d always known that a Kate Marsh who figured out how to use emojis would be practically unstoppable, and the past summer of text exchanges had borne that theory out as nothing less than undisputed fact.
Queen🐝 - Okay look
Queen🐝 - In my defense
Queen🐝 - Admitting I let u believe it was a different day for almost a year was way more awkward than just pretending it was in November for the rest of my life so
She can’t help the grin spreading across her face as she waits for Kate’s response, rolling over onto her back with her head propped up on her pile of pillows to make texting back and forth easier.
KT 🐰💕 - I thought you’d say that ;)
KT 🐰💕 - Lucky for you I’m in a forgiving mood, what with it being your birthday and all.
Queen🐝 - Thx KT… u r too good to me as always (ToT)
Queen🐝 - How did u find out anyway?
KT 🐰💕 - Sweet 🍵
“That bitch!” Victoria exclaims in mock outrage. She knew those two had been awfully cagey about asking who she’d spoken to and demanding updates. “The next time I see them…” she grumbles.
KT 🐰💕 - But before you send her any “choice words”...
KT 🐰💕 - You should know she helped me decide what to do for your gift. :)
Queen🐝 - My gift??? 👀
Queen🐝 - Kate u shouldn’t have
Queen🐝 - Just hearing from u has made my day already
Victoria chews on her lip, watching in anticipation as Kate types something, then stops, then starts typing again. The cycle repeats for a couple of minutes before the next message comes through.
KT 🐰💕 - Be that as it may… this is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time…
KT 🐰💕 - And
KT 🐰💕 - Oh my gosh…
KT 🐰💕 - Here, I’m just going to send it before I chicken out
KT 🐰💕 - Just promise not to hate me, okay?
“Bitch, I would NEVER!” Victoria protests, typing a more pg version in the text box as she waits for a video file titled simply “ForVictoria” to load. As if someone as pure-hearted and wholesome as Kate Marsh could ever have anything to be ashamed of in the first–
Holy shit…!
Wherever her previous train of thought was headed, it’s well and thoroughly derailed when the video starts to play and, after a few moments of fussing with the camera, Kate appears on screen.
She’s fucking GORGEOUS!
Now don’t get Victoria wrong, Kate always had a kind of understated beauty about her, with her pale skin, heart-shaped smile, hazel eyes and long, dirty-blonde hair that caught the fancy of many of her peers back at Blackwell. She’d even gotten a bit curvier over the past several months (thanks to much healthier eating habits), which Victoria was absolutely NOT complaining about. But this… this is on a whole other level.
The Kate on the video is wearing a yellow sundress with a lovely floral pattern, one that compliments her figure in, frankly, all the right ways. Her hair is free of her customary loose bun, allowed to run down her back and spill over her shoulders in a loosely curled style that Victoria had always told her looked stunning. She’s wearing a pair of emerald earrings that sparkle in the golden sunlight that suffuses her room, the very same pair that Victoria used to wear herself, right up until Kate had expressed her admiration for them.
All this alongside her expertly done eye shadow and mascara, and lipstick in that shade of red that never fails to make Victoria think positively wicked thoughts that she almost certainly would never be able to speak aloud, combined to make Kate’s look anything but understated. No, this was a full-on statement , loud and proud… one that said: “You know what? I’m fricking H O T and I’m about to make it everyone else’s problem.”
“Girl, if only you knew what you do to me looking like this…” Victoria murmurs. “Well, if you did, you’d probably never speak to me again, so…”
The portions of Kate’s room revealed by the camera angle include beige walls lined with artwork, both pieces of her own in varying styles and those from her favorite artists, with a neatly made bed to her right, and an overflowing bookshelf to the back left. Alice, Kate’s piebald-coated bunny rabbit, munches on something green and leafy in her wire cage home just beyond the foot of Kate’s bed, and a violin stand with open sheet music sits adjacent to the closed door behind her.
But honestly, Victoria cannot bring herself to spare more than a fraction of a moment for all these details as the unreasonably hot Kate Marsh on her phone screen smiles nervously, the rings on her right hand catching the light as she gives the camera a little wave.
Victoria finds herself waving back, grinning like an idiot the whole time. She has no fucking clue at this point where all this is going, but she’s sure as hell along for the ride.
“Hi Victoria!” Kate says, her voice cheerful if a little breathy. “I hope this finds you well…”
“I’m doing amazing now, thank you very much…” Victoria replies, smirking at Kate as though she can see her or something. Whatever, it’s her birthday and she can talk to a recording of her secret crush like a lunatic if she wants to!
Kate sighs and rolls her eyes. “To be honest I hope this finds you at all, I don’t want to say how many takes it’s taken to not mess it up. Of course,” she adds, pointing an admonishing finger at the camera, “it doesn’t help at all that I had less than twenty-four hours to put this all together!”
Victoria cackles, adoring how every time Kate tries to make a stern face she fails spectacularly, her lower lip jutting out in the most precious little pout she’s ever seen.
“But…” Kate continues, “ this time I’m telling myself to just speak from the heart, and everything will turn out the way it’s meant to. So here goes…”
“This year has… really been something, hasn’t it?” Kate laughs, and it’s a bittersweet laugh that makes Victoria’s heart clench, infused with both genuine humor and remembered pain. “And while it might have started out as one of the worst years of my life, if I’m being honest… overall I’m grateful for it. Not just because those trials and tribulations taught me so much about myself, but… but also because they led me to you.”
Fuck, Katie… Victoria swipes at her eyes to catch the tears that are threatening to slip free. No one told me this was a Bring Your Own Tissues event…
“And while everyone told me that I was crazy to forgive you, hell–” Kate laughs again, smirking a self-satisfied “that’s right, I say hell now” kind of smirk, “-- you said I was crazy to do so more than everyone else combined– I chose to have faith in you. And you rewarded that faith by showing me a side of yourself that I might never have gotten to see otherwise.”
Victoria nods along, doing her level best not to give in to the sobs that crowd her throat. She can’t even begin to describe how grateful she is that Kate saw fit to take that chance on someone like her.
“Our friendship since then has been a blessing to me, truly,” Kate continues, her voice steady despite her hazel eyes growing misty to match Victoria’s own. “ Whenever I needed someone… you were there. Any time I felt sad, or scared, or overwhelmed, all I had to do was knock on the wall and you’d come right over, even in the middle of the night. You let me cry on your expensive sweaters. You held my hand while I came out to my parents over the phone.”
Kate pauses to bite her lower lip, a sight that would absolutely drive Victoria feral if she weren’t so emotional over listening to the sweetest words she’s ever heard from the sweetest girl who’s ever spoken.
“And while being able to call and text you all summer has been wonderful… and our ‘anime dates’ have been so much fun… something has been missing. And it maybe took me a little too long to realize what was missing was being able to see you every day, to eat lunch together, to have tea in my room or watch movies in yours–”
“Tell me about it,” Victoria chuckles wryly, fondly remembering how much easier these “anime dates” were when she didn’t have to mail Kate a freshly burned CD first and coordinate over the phone so that they both pressed play at the same time. Or how she could barely focus on the show in front of her with Kate sitting so close that she could feel the warmth of her arm and smell her shampoo and–
“And… And I guess I’ve been thinking about the future, and what I’d like to have in my life going forward.” Kate fidgets in her seat, causing the image to blur as her camera refocuses. Her expression grows more serious, more earnest than Victoria has seen in a long time. “I look at how cute and happy Courtney and Taylor have been since they got together, and the same with Max and–”
“Oh God,” Victoria groans, talking over phone-Kate. “ Please don’t remind me that the most socially awkward nerd I’ve ever met still managed to get a girlfriend before I did.”
“And that’s when I realized– I want what they have. I want to love, openly… without fear. And to be loved in return. And I feel blessed to know that I’m ready for that.”
“Wait, what?” Victoria asks, her chest tightening as a sudden bout of nerves and adrenaline begins to course through her veins.
She always knew, especially since Kate confided in her that she was gay, that a kind, beautiful, emotionally-intelligent woman would someday come along to sweep her off her feet. She’d just hoped Kate would wait until after college or, preferably, sometime in her late 50s before she finally crushed Victoria’s impossible dream that they could ever be together. But especially not, as she now feared was happening right before her eyes in .mp4 format, in the middle of Victoria’s nineteenth-fucking-birthday…
Kate closes her eyes and takes a deep, centering breath, before delivering the words that will surely shatter Victoria’s heart forever. “And when I picture those things, that life that I want… the only person I can see myself sharing that with… is you.”
When she opens them again, her hazel eyes are wet and pleading, filled with the kind of yearning that Victoria has come to know all too well.
Victoria’s heart stops beating. Her mouth falls open, a dumbfounded, warbling “... Oh.” being the only thing she can think to say as Kate’s words ricochet through her mind like the shrapnel from a hand grenade.
Kate averts her eyes, smiling down at her lap as she nervously brushes a loose strand of hair out of her face and back behind her ear. “To be honest… I’ve felt this way for a long time now. I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you these past few months, or how many nights I’ve lied awake thinking about how you could be the one for me, the one that I love. Wondering if you could ever feel the same way, if you ever dream of me in the way that I dream of you…”
“OH?!?” Victoria practically shouts, sitting up straight so fast that she nearly drops her phone as her heart restarts, now beating a mile a minute.
“... I really hope that you do feel the same, or at least that you’re willing to take a chance on me,” Kate says, locking eyes with the camera once more, her cheeks flushed redder than Victoria has ever seen them.
“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my FUCKING God!” Victoria is pacing the room now, full of nervous energy while her pounding heart climbs up her throat as though it’s trying to escape to race solo up and down the streets of Seattle.
This can’t be real… this can’t actually be happening right now… can it?
“And one more thing,” Kate says, beaming up at Victoria through her jostling phone. “Whatever your answer may be… have a happy birthday, Tori. I hope it’s the best one ever.”
And with that, Kate leans forward, closing her eyes as her face takes up more and more of the screen until all that’s left are her perfect pursed lips. With a light “mwah” sound she plants a kiss directly on the camera, leaving a reddish-pink lipstick haze behind as she sits back down. The last thing Victoria hears as Kate reaches over to stop the recording is the girl’s embarrassed, joyful giggle.
It’s the most wonderful sound she’s ever heard.
Victoria plops back down on the side of her bed, immediately hitting replay to watch the video once more in its entirety. This time she doesn’t talk back or crack wise, instead hanging on Kate’s every word, memorizing every gesture as her inherent disbelief that this isn’t some kind of prank or misunderstanding gives way to the realization that the dream she’s carried in silence for months might actually be coming true.
By the time she arrives at the end she’s a sniffling, sobbing, sodden mess, who would be grateful that Kate isn’t there to see her in such a state if only it didn’t come with the downside of not being able to pull her close and kiss her forever.
It’s only when she closes the video that she sees the several messages she’s received since.
KT 🐰💕 - So… 🥺👉👈
KT 🐰💕 - Did you watch it yet?
KT 🐰💕 - What do you think?
KT 🐰💕 - Tori???
KT 🐰💕 - Oh my Gosh please say something before I die from embarrassment 😭
Even Victoria’s expert-level texting thumbs are far too slow to keep up with her fast and furious heart. She dials Kate immediately. After an interminably long few seconds (which amounted to MAYBE two rings at most), Kate finally picks up.
“Tori…?” She begins, her trembling voice both hesitant and hopeful in equal measure.
“KATE!” Victoria interrupts, practically shouting into the phone. “Are you crazy?! I fucking LOVED it. I had to watch it twice just to make sure I wasn’t dreaming!”
Kate audibly exhales the breath she’d been holding. “Oh thank goodness! Does that mean…?”
“Yes. Yes yes yes, a million times yes! Kate I… I’ve been in love with you for so long… and to know you feel the same way… Jesus, Katie, this is like the best day of my fucking LIFE.”
“EEEEE!” Kate squeals, before bursting into a fit of embarrassed giggling. “Sorry I just… I’m so happy right now… and I love you, too.”
The pair of them spend much of the next hour trading “I love you”s, intermingled with daydreams, laughter, and happy tears. Victoria practically wears the fuschia right out of her carpet with her excited pacing as they plan out every moment of their next few weeks before they head off to their respective colleges, and vow to take turns visiting each other every weekend beyond that.
“I guess I have to go soon…” Kate sighs as they finally start to wind down.
“Oh? Hot date?” Victoria teases.
“Just with the pillow I’m going to be screaming into for the next couple of weeks,” Kate retorts with a scandalized laugh. “Besides, I’m saving all my ‘hot dating’ for this weekend, remember?”
“How could I forget? I’ll only be thinking about it every moment between now and then.”
“Me too…” Kate whispers, her voice soft and affectionate. “So… I guess this turned out to be a good birthday after all?”
“Yeah…” Victoria says. She’s been smiling so hard for so long that her cheeks are sore now, but her head is filled with nothing but schemes to get Kate into her mildly embarrassing pink and purple princess bedroom and kiss her until their lips ache even more.
“Honestly? Best one ever.”