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Chapter Text

They were running. That was all they were doing nowadays. Just running and running, either from the Sith or from the Jedi. Ever since Obi-Wan had decided to leave the Jedi Order to be with her, some of the Jedi had seen it as a threat and started to hunt him. And of course she could not leave him alone in such a situation.

     So they were always running together, she and he. It still made her smile to think of them as one. Their love had been tough on them, especially with Anakin tugging on them, trying to get Obi-Wan out of the way and get Padmé for himself.

     The sweet little boy from Tatooine was the one hunting them right now, he and some clones. When Obi-Wan had left the Order, his friend and former Padawan had been so angry about it that he had started to hunt him at once and soon Darth Sidious had recruited him as his apprentice instead.

     Darth Sidious who had once been her friend.

     The universe was against them, the only thing that they could really trust was their strong love for one another.

     “Padmé”, he panted as they ran up the stairs, back to the open air. “Padmé, you’ve got to go. You’ve got to run.”

     That was what he always said when their chasers were getting closer.

     “Obi-Wan, my love, I am not leaving you, I never will”, Padmé said sharply. Then he grabbed her and made her look at him.

     “You’ve got to go”, he ordered. “I can’t let him get to you.”

     Padmé wrinkled her forehead in surprise. He always gave away when she promised to stay with him until the end.

     “Anakin is after you, he wants you, not me”, Obi-Wan quickly explained. “That’s why you have to go, now. I can hold him off.”

     “Obi, don’t…”

     “Go!”

     He pushed her through the door that led up to the open air and closed it behind her, so that she would be unable to get back to him. She bent down and listened through the thick material, but only managed to catch the sound of his feet moving away.

     The tip of a lightsaber pierced the door some inches away from her head.

     “Hey Anakin!” she heard Obi-Wan call as she held back a scream and started to move away from the door. The red blade disappeared and she turned around, ran straight across the field under the starry sky, crying and blaming herself for leaving him behind.

     “What are we going to do, sir?” one of the clones asked. Anakin looked at the body at his feet. His old Master was still breathing, though he was weak and unconscious. Still, Anakin thought, Obi-Wan might be the key to where Padmé was hiding.

     “Pull him up”, he ordered. The two soldiers did as he said and Anakin looked into the pale, bearded face of his previous friend. Then he raised his right hand and hit the man on the side of his head. The head lolled to the other side and Anakin nodded with a thin smile.

     “Take him back to the ship. We’ll leave immediately.”

Chapter Text

[Obi-Wan’s POV]

I silently prayed that I could go back to sleep, to let the comfortable darkness grab onto me again. But thanks to my annoying headache, that was impossible. It felt like my head was being beaten over and over again, from the inside.

     Though that was not the worst part.

     I had no idea who I was.

     No memories of the past, of my previous life, of anything. Nothing. Gone.

     I opened my eyes, searching for something familiar.

     “Obi-Wan?”

     I gasped as I turned my head. It was bandaged, I realised. Maybe I was injured? That would explain both the loss of my memory and the sharp pain.

     The man on the chair in the other end of the room was tall and dressed in dark clothes; loosely fitting trousers and similar shirt, high boots, a black leather-vest and a broad belt, in which hung a bunch of things. A dark cloak lay draped over his chair.

     He rose and walked closer to me, his dark grey eyes scanning me.

     “How do you feel?” he asked, looking down at me. I honestly felt quite uncomfortable, having him staring at me like that.

     “Well, my head aches like hell”, I answered honestly. “What did you call me, by the way?”

     “Obi-Wan, of course”, the man answered, frowning. “What did you… oh blast, you do not remember, do you?”

     I carefully shook my head.

     “Blast!” he exclaimed again and started pacing. “I’ll kill those rebels when we get to them, I swear that to you, brother…”

     “Brother?”

     “Yes, I’m your brother”, he said and turned towards me again. “I’m Anakin. Don’t you remember me?”

     “Well, I feel like I connect the words Anakin and brother”, I admitted. He let out a relieved sigh.

     “Maybe you just need a few reminders then”, he suggested and leaned over, helping me sit up. “Alright, Obi, I’m the younger one of us, but I’m the one with the highest position. You’ve never been one to want to make yourself seen more than you have to.”

     He grinned at me.

     “We’re apprentices of Darth Sidious and we are learning how to control the Force. Our codenames are Darth Vader and Darth Norious. Norious is you, right?”

     I nodded, though I felt like Anakin had never called me by that name before. He seemed to realize.

     “I do not call you that”, he explained. “I just say Obi-Wan to you, as you say Anakin to me.”

     “Right.”

     “Well, Darth Sidious is the leader of the Intergalactic Empire and we sometimes act as his lifeguards. He’s getting quite old, you know. So our current mission is to hunt down and destroy the forces rebelling against us. They are led by a woman named Padmé Amidala.”

     He nodded towards my bandage.

     “She shot you with a gun from the back, you were unprepared”, he said. “We all know that if we get to her, the rest of the rebels will give up. There is no one else to take her place.”

     “And when I was hit…”

     “When you were hit I forced our troops to retreat. I couldn’t leave you there, you know. You’re everything I have left from our old life, with our parents…”

     He looked away for a moment.

     “Anyway, I’ll make sure that you get to rest and get back into shape before we move out again. I’m sure you’d like to get Amidala yourself.”

     He looked grim and I felt just the same. I was a warrior, I had to be out fighting for the right thing. But now this Amidala-person had tied me to this bed for quite some time.

     For some reason, I found that rather attractive.

[Padmé’s POV]

“I’m so sorry, Padmé”, Bail Organa said. “Me and my men searched the whole bunker. There are no signs of Obi-Wan.”

     I nodded, fighting back the tears.

     “Nothing?”

     “Except for this.”

     He handed me something wrapped in a piece of cloth. I slowly unwrapped it and the two pieces of Obi-Wan’s lightsaber fell down on the floor in front of me. I could not bear to pick them up.

     “I’m sorry”, Bail said once again, before he left the room.

     I was glad that my old friend had allowed me to stay with him and his family for a few days. They had never blamed me for loving Obi-Wan, in fact they had been our witnesses when we got married. I trusted them all with my whole heart.

     But I still had to keep running. We, me and Obi-Wan, had never been able to stay very long in one place. We kept moving from place to place, hiding on ships that got us to other planets. We could not fly one ourselves; all ships were controlled by the Empire and if we showed up in an unregistered ship… well, it would not work out too well.

     Now I was running alone and I blamed myself for it. I should have stayed with Obi-Wan, then this would not have happened at all. He would still be here or I would be… wherever he was now.

     I could not even think that word. Dead. It was impossible. Obi-Wan could not be dead.

     But the thought came back, stronger every time, until I started to cry and sank down on the couch.

I stayed in my room for a few days, not wanting to talk to anyone. Not even Bail, who came by at least twice a day. His servants had to leave the food outside my door.

     When I’d been there for a week, I joined Bail and his wife at dinner. I spoke about travelling, a code for saying it’s time for me to leave. Bail suggested a whole bunch of destinations that I should visit, meaning these places you can get to by sneaking onto a ship. We spoke in codes regularly now, whenever we were in the same room as someone who was not involved in all of this; servants and such people.

     After dinner I walked back up to my room and stuffed the two sets of clothes I always carried with me in my small backpack. I had to leave soon, maybe even tonight. Bail and his wife would understand me perfectly.

     “Hello there.”

     The far too familiar voice, the accent, even the smell that now surrounded me, made me freeze before I turned around, slowly. He was standing by the window, wearing the same clothes that I had seen him in last time; his Jedi-robes. A new lightsaber was hanging from his belt.

     “Obi-Wan!” I whispered, not sure if I was to cry or laugh or if this was just my imagination.

     “Surprised?” he said with a crooked smile that somehow did not reach his eyes. He actually looked angry. I had never seen him angry with anyone, not even Anakin, and it frightened me.

     “You want a recap of what has happened since last time?” he asked, walking slightly closer. “I suppose you have not forgotten that you shot me in the head?”

     I felt my jaw drop. Shot him? What was he talking about?

     “I have spent a week in bed, wanting nothing but to get here and finish you off, as I intended to do last time.”

     I involuntarily took a step back. Had he gone mad? I had not shot him, I would never harm him!

     “And this time, Amidala, you won’t escape”, he said, his voice cold. I stared into his eyes and noticed a red gleam. The same red gleam that I had seen in Anakin’s eyes last time I’d faced him. The gleam that signalled a Sith.

     I continued to back away.

     “Obi-Wan, don’t”, I whispered. “You will only hurt yourself by doing that.”

     “Oh, really?”

     He laughed silently.

     “I doubt it.”

     “Obi-Wan, I don’t know what has been going on in your head since we parted, but you were the one who asked me to leave”, I whispered, as I managed to grab my bag behind my back. “You asked me to leave so that you could push Anakin away, so that… so that I would survive… you loved me, Obi-Wan. What happened?”

     He seemed caught off guard, which gave me enough time to climb out through another window and down the vine outside. I ran away from Bail’s residence without looking back. I did not want to know if my lover was chasing me or not. He had changed.

Chapter Text

[Obi’s POV]

     I was confused upon my return to base. In fact I had been confused ever since Amidala had said that I loved her. Loved her? Me? That was ridiculous. Madness. And still it felt so incredibly right.

     “Is she dead?”

     Anakin had come up next to me as silently as always. I was not startled – I knew his ways so well that what he had told me when I woke up could not be false. We had to be related to act like this, move as one and know what the other was thinking. True, the Force could aid you in this, but not to the extent that me and Anakin experienced.

     “No”, I replied. “She managed to escape.”

     Anakin’s eyes gleamed dangerously.

     “What did she tell you?” he asked.

     “Lies, of course”, I said, keeping my voice stern and cold. “Would you have expected anything else from her?”

     Anakin’s lips twisted up in a small hint of a smile, or grin. He looked pleased with my reply and I had known he would be. That was why I had lied and said that Amidala had been lying. To be honest I knew that she did not; she was telling the truth. None of her words had been false.

     That meant that, even though Anakin’s words and story had seemed right at the time, it was only partially so. It was true enough to make me believe in it, yet there were details that were false. I just had to figure out which ones.

     “I only returned to report”, I said. “I want to go out there, lay a trap for her.”

     “Where?” Anakin asked. “Do you know where she fled?”

     “Without a hyperspace ship she won’t get far”, I replied. Anakin nodded. I could see his mind working behind his blue eyes.

     “Delaya”, he said. “That’s where you believe she went.”

     “I know that’s where she went”, I replied. “Where else could she have gone without a ship capable of entering hyperspace?”

     Anakin nodded again, before he stopped in his steps.

     “I’m sorry, brother, but I must leave you now. There are things I must deal with.”

     I watched as he turned and walked back down the corridor, turning right into the hangar. I moved in the opposite direction until I saw his ship leave through a window. Then I turned around and retraced my steps back to my own ship. I double-checked that Anakin had not put any sort of tracking device on it, but considering how he had acted I doubt he would have given himself the time to do so. I was right. Soon I was flying back out into space.

     To ensure that Anakin did not know where I was going I took a detour, not going directly from the planet I had woken up on after my accident to the Alderaan system, but to a different system, which I cruised for a while. There was no one tailing me, once again confirming that Anakin must have gone straight to Delaya. Hopefully he had already landed there and started his search. It was a bit too close to Alderaan, to tell the truth, but if I had said that Amidala had fled to a different system Anakin would question which ship she had flown, since it would then have had to have a hyperdrive system and thus be a registered model, easily tracked. Now I could only hope that Amidala was indeed still on Alderaan, as I was personally suspecting, and that I would be able to find her. And make her trust me enough to tell me what was happening to me.

     I landed not far from where I had been last time I was there and made sure to mark the time. I could not stay there long without attracting suspicious thoughts, which would then lead to Anakin being alerted. The shorter I stayed here the more likely it would seem that I had only gone here to gather evidence of where Amidala had fled.

     I circled the villa I had found her in a couple of times under cover of darkness. It belonged to another Senator, one I vaguely remembered meeting at some point. Anakin had not said anything about him, which could be good or bad. No talk about him made me think of him as unimportant in Anakin’s eyes and thus I saw no reason to mention him as a possible helper of Amidala. Especially not now, when I was trying to do the same thing.

     After several turns I stopped on the southern side of the villa. There had been a vaguely familiar sensation touching my mind every other time I had passed this point and now that I had extended the circle it felt stronger. I turned so that the villa was at my back and scanned the surroundings. A couple of bushes, of the thorny kind, boulders and then a steep ravine dropping about 100 feet straight down. I took a step towards it and the feeling intensified. There was definitely someone there – but where? Below the cliff? Were there tunnels and caves hidden beneath the bushes and boulders? I walked forward, but the Force revealed no such entrances. In the end I stood right by the ravine, looking down and wondering where the blast this person was hiding. 

[Padmé’s POV]

     I had slept badly ever since Obi-Wan was taken, but since he had come back and had changed into something else, something horrible out of my nightmares, I had not slept at all. Every time I tried I saw his red eyes shining in the dark. Those eyes that had been so beautiful to me before – one moment blue, one moment grey, and so happy and wise and loving.

     I shivered on the small cot and turned to face the door leading into my hiding place. Bail had secretly created it for me and Obi-Wan when we first had to start running, but we had vowed we would never use it. It would risk Bail and his wife too much if we were discovered in here – and there was only one way out of the cave hidden on the side of the ravine. From above and below it was basically invisible if you did not know what you were looking for, the entrance hidden behind a few uneven patches of rocks. If you were too big you would be incapable of getting through the narrow passage leading to the actual cave. Even Anakin would have trouble getting through considering his height – when Obi-Wan had tried it he had almost hit the ceiling on multiple occasions. Except for that test walk we had not been in here at all – until now. I had not dared turn back to the villa and risk being discovered by some spy drone, so since Obi-Wan – or whoever he was now – had found me there I had been holed up in here. Except for the fear of being found and the slight claustrophobia there was no problem with the cave; there was a storage of food, water, clothes and blankets to keep a small army going for at least a month. Alone I could stay down here for almost a year, as long as no one found me or decided to blow the cliff to pieces.

     A smattering of small stones on the passageway cover made me sit up on the cot. Stones could easily clatter down if someone was up on top of the cliff, looking down – question was who that person was. If it was Obi-Wan and he had some memories left of who he had been he might remember where this place was – and that terrified me. He had threatened to kill me and considering the gleam I had seen in his eyes I had no doubt this was the truth. I said a silent prayer that it might be Bail, looking down to see if he could see some trace of me. That was, however, a foolish thought; it was dark out by now. Bail would not be able to see the hiding place unless he lit the way down with a torch – a superbly foolish thing to do since that might reveal the truth to spies placed out around the villa. Most likely it was someone looking for me and wondering if I had perhaps fallen down the cliff – or that I had a hiding place down here. If it was Obi-Wan – or any other person capable of wielding the Force – he might even be able to sense me down here.

     Another smatter of stones hit the rocks outside, larger this time. As if someone had thrown them down instead of accidentally kicking them. I held my breath and listened for the expected sound of someone climbing down the cliff, but none came. Still, I did not dare to relax. I was sure that the person standing about twenty feet above me on the top of the cliff was the man I had loved, whom I still loved, despite the darkness that now resided in his heart.

[Obi’s POV]

     I instinctively knew that there was a cave beneath me, that its entrance was hidden from me. How I knew I did not know, but I knew it was there. I had even found the coverage of its entrance by kicking some rocks down and listening to where they hit. By my estimate it should be about twenty, maybe thirty feet below where I stood. It would be risky to climb that distance in the dark, but once again those strange ideas and thoughts made themselves known, those that did not match with what Anakin had told me about myself and my history but still felt much truer. There was a narrow path that could be used to get there, barely an inch in width. How Amidala, without any ability to use the Force, could manage such a trek I did not know, but I knew for sure that she was capable of using it. And that she most likely had, very recently. Slowly I made my way along the ridge until my blurry memories matched what I saw and felt around me. Then I started to climb down, using the Force to keep myself on the ledge. I walked as silently as I could, mindful of every stone that I might be able to kick down, every treacherous crack. The walk took me longer than I would have liked, but soon the stone that covered the narrow passageway loomed straight ahead of me. As I entered it I found myself remembering how many steps I had to take before the ceiling became too low, then for how many steps I had to walk slightly bent to the side before I could straighten up, then repeat. Amidala was shorter than me; she would have no trouble getting through to the cave beyond. The fact that I remembered how to walk it, personally, meant I had been here before. But I did not know when or why.

     Soft light poured out of the cave entrance, not light enough to seep through the cracks in the ceiling but enough to cast a shadow of whoever was outside. In this case that was me; Amidala would know that I was approaching, no matter if I was walking quietly. Realizing that my cover was blown I let out a breath I had not even realized I was holding and stepped up so that I stood in the entrance to the cave.

     Amidala was seated on the cot on the opposite side of the cave, looking very much like a wild animal ready to flee. But there was only one exit – and I was currently blocking it. As I glanced around I saw the cans of food, water and coffins filled with clothes. It was prepared for an extensive stay. A glance into an open coffin made me realize that some of the clothes were too big for someone of Amidala’s size. They were for a man – for me. This place had been built to keep us both in hiding.

     The question was why?

     “I...”

     My mouth went dry as I spoke – to be honest I was not quite sure what to say. Should I apologize? I still did not know what part of Anakin’s tale that was false and what was true. Maybe Amidala had indeed shot me. I did not know.

     “You found me”, she said before I could formulate any kind of sentence. Her voice was void of emotions, except perhaps acceptance. She knew as well as I did that she would not be able to escape this place if I decided to kill her.

     “Yes”, I replied. She was not looking at me. I wanted her to and took two steps closer.

     “Look at me”, I commanded. It sounded rougher than I would have liked. Nevertheless she turned her face upwards, her brown eyes meeting mine. I felt like my heart stopped in that moment. Those eyes. I knew those eyes, knew their expressions, knew how they shone whenever she smiled. I should have recognized them last time I saw her. Why had I not?

     “Your eyes”, she said, frowning.

     “What about them?” I asked.

     “They were red when I saw you last.”

     Red? For some reason I could not picture myself with red eyes. Was that due to the accident? I had not seen myself in a mirror since I woke up, so perhaps it was due to the trauma.

     “They’re not now?” I asked. Amidala shook her head, sending a few stray curls of her dark hair flying.

     “No. Not... completely.”

     Then she tensed and looked away.

     “Why haven’t you killed me yet?” she asked. “Isn’t that what you want?”
     “I want to know the truth”, I replied. “I... something’s wrong. My brother...”

     “Your brother?” she asked, frowning and looking back at me.

     “Yes. Anakin, my brother.”

     “He’s not your brother”, Amidala said and rose. “He’s the man you raised and trained. You were as close as brothers, but you’re not, truly.”

     I inhaled sharply. Anakin had lied, then. Question was how extensively.

     “Who am I?” I asked. “You seem to know me; who am I, truly? I can hardly remember anything that happened earlier than when I woke up after the accident.”

     Amidala took a tentative step forward, though she still looked like she might run at any moment.

     “Your name is Obi-Wan Kenobi”, she said. “You’re a Jedi. One of the last. And you’re the bravest, kindest, wisest and noblest man I have ever met. You’re a negotiator; you have always preferred to talk and avoid conflict by the use of words.”

     I blinked at her, then felt as if I was falling. If that was who I was, then it was not who I was anymore. A wave of nausea rolled through me and I slumped to the floor. In an instant she was by my side.

     “Obi-Wan?” she said, grabbing my shoulders to steady me. “Obi? Love?”

     I did not deserve to be called that. Not anymore.

     “I killed someone”, I whispered. “I killed a Jedi.”

Chapter Text

Hey guys – again!

Just a quick message to you all; I’m going to be quite busy throughout the rest of August and September and will have to go on hiatus for at least that time period. Basically I’ve just started working and I’ve been given a lot more responsibility than what was initially planned because the two original teachers I was supposed to work with quit after last semester so we’re three newbies on our teaching team instead of one newbie (me). Aaaand I’ll also be moving in the midst of all of this new work (end of August). So there’s a lot going on and even though I have no doubt I’ll still be writing stuff during this time to keep myself sane I won’t be able to focus on one story and get chapters up for that at a good interval. I will actually try to do something like that after all of this has settled done – set a schedule for chapter publishing – but at the moment I just have to focus on personal stuff.

As for now I’ve posted everything I had that I hadn’t posted yet – hence why some stories were suddenly updated with several new chapters at once instead of just one. I’m not saying that nothing will be posted throughout this period – I will do my best to give myself free weekends so that I can relax and not freak out completely – but on the other hand I can’t promise chapters or short-stories either. You know what I mean? Hope you do. Anyway; keep an eye out for chapters in late September or October, at least, because things should have settled by that time. Hopefully.

Love,

Sandra