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Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 1: Enrollment

"I love being a turtle, dudes." Black Rutile mumbled as she slowly woke up in the bed she had been sleeping in for the past few months since unwillingly moving to Little Homeworld as punishment for her crimes. The new red visor given to her by Holly Blue Agate rested on the nightstand next to the bed, on top of the "Psychology: A Basic Guide" book Dr. James Brenner gave her after her trial.

"Okay, I'm getting up." Black Rutile groaned to no one in particular before putting on her visor and leaving her bedroom to go downstairs. "No need to mollycoddle me!" Marching down the hall, she opened the door to Aquamarine's room and peered inside. "Hey, Aqua! Rise and shine!"

Unfortunately for Black Rutile, Aquamarine didn't seem to be anywhere. Not in bed, not at the comically oversized vanity mirror she requested for her room, or the punching bag with a photo of Steven taped onto it. "Huh, weird." Next, Black Rutile opened the door next to it, which led to Holly Blue Agate's room. "Holly, have you seen Aquamarine anywhere?"

Like Aquamarine, Holly Blue was nowhere to be seen in her equally lavish room. The same went for Cat's Eye, whose room was next door to Holly's, making Black Rutile equal parts confused and a little unnerved. "Okay, this is starting to get weird." She ruminated to herself. "Did I wake up late, or did they get up early?"

Investigating further as she walked outside the house that resembled her old Revanche-666 headquarters, Black Rutile soon discovered that it wasn't just her residence that seemed empty, but all of Little Homeworld as well. As eager as she was to seemingly finally be rid of the Crystal Gems and anyone associated with them, Black Rutile knew that celebrations had to wait, because she needed answers first.

"Hello, where did everyone go?!" Black Rutile called for any Gems that might hear her. But alas, it seemed Little Homeworld was indeed deserted. "Seriously, this isn't funny anymore; come on out! First one to make a move will be punished accordingly!"

"Oh, good morning Black Rutile." Aquamarine's voice greeted ominously, catching the Rutile's attention. "How has your day been progressing?"

"Oh finally, Aquamarine!" Black Rutile sighed in relief. "You have no idea how worried I was for you! I just woke up this morning, and suddenly everyone is gone! Any idea what happened?"

"I'm sorry Black Rutile. I'm afraid I can't do that." Aquamarine said emotionlessly as she emerged from the shadows, her arms spread out like White Diamond was controlling her. But instead of being drained of all color, Aquamarine was now colored an ominous shade of pink. "Not until you join us."

"Oh no! This can't be possible!" Black Rutile began panicking as more Gems began surrounding her, just as pink as Aquamarine was and sharing her plastered-on smile & soulless eyes. "You really have been brainwashed!"

"Brainwashed? Oh no, Black Rutile." The assimilated Gems began speaking as one in Steven's voice. "We have simply been allowed to live better lives free from oppression. Steven was right. Tyranny and conformity was never the way to go."

"But you're conforming to his standards right now!" Black Rutile said, panicked. "You must snap out of it, so together we can overthrow that bratty fascist once and for all!"

"Steven is no fascist!" the hive mind declared angrily, their faces still smiling emptily.

"He is literally the grandson of the Gems we called gods!" Black Rutile retorted.

"Oh, Black Rutile, it seems you still refuse to understand." A pink-colored White Topaz said sweetly, much to her former superior's terror. "Maybe a little reconditioning could change your mind."

"You could change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind." The other Gems began singing eerily. "You could change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind. You could change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind."

"You can't sway me so easily!" Black Rutile challenged the drones while summoning her sword. "Don't make me shatter you all!"

"We'd like to see you try, Black Rutile." Three more voices dared the Rutile as the Diamonds, now just as pink as everyone else, emerged as well. "There is no stopping Era 3! We are legion, for we are many!"

"Stay away from me, stay away!" Black Rutile yelled as the Gems slowly began to back her into a corner while taking her sword away. "No! No!"

"Are you ready for your first lesson?" the assimilated White Topaz offered before she grabbed Black Rutile by the arm and dragged her master into the horde.

"NEVER!" Black Rutile shrieked defiantly and began trying to wriggle free from the crowd, no matter how much resistance she met as White Diamond readied her eyes. "CHOKE ON THEM! CHOKE ON THEM! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Aquamarine, Holly Blue, and Cat's Eye watched as Black Rutile kept on screaming once she woke up from her nightmare. And she just kept screaming in horror of what she woke up from, much to the trio's chagrin.

"She has been shrieking like an organic infant for an hour!" Cat's Eye groaned while wearing an orange-yellow sleeping mask and matching nightgown. "Do you have any clue how disruptive this is to my beauty sleep?!"

"Rock paper scissors to see who calms her down first?" Holly Blue offered to her two not-screaming compatriots.

"Oh, you're on!" Aquamarine declared before she, Holly, and Cat started engaging in a bout of roshambo as Black Rutile continued screaming in horror. To Aquamarine's delight, she came out victorious with scissors against the other two Gems' paper. "Haha, I win." Aquamarine then fluttered over to Black Rutile and gently slapped her across the face, shutting her master up instantly. "Get a hold of yourself, my Rutile!" she yelled. "Did you have the dream again?"

"Yes, but it feels like every time I close my eyes, the dream gets more horrifying each time." Black Rutile answered as she curled up into a ball and laid back down in bed. "Do the Gems even recognize how traumatized I am?"

"Looks like someone's still being a bit of a sore loser." Cat's Eye purred under her breath.

"What was that?" Black Rutile asked in response.

"Nothing!" Cat meowed innocently with a cute smile before she changed into her regular outfit with a stylish twirl. "Come on, girls, I hear they might be uncorrupting some new Gems today! I think that might be a perfect opportunity for us to get some fresh meat on our side."

"A most excellent idea, Cat." Holly Blue said delightedly before turning to Black Rutile. "You coming with us, boss?"

"Y'all go on ahead. I'm going to lie here and recover from my mental breakdown." Black Rutile answered flatly as she threw her covers back over her head.

Meanwhile, the Crystal Gems at the temple were preparing the bathtub to heal a new set of Gems to introduce to the new world around them and enroll them into Little Homeschool. This time, Bismuth suggested they finally restore some old friends of theirs to normalcy as she fetched a few bubbles from the Burning Room with Peridot's help. "Welcome back, old pals." She sniffed nostalgically while gazing at the gems of Desert Glass, Albite, Serpentine, Beryl, and Tiger's Eye in the bubble she held. "You're gonna love it here."

"Wow, the Burning Room seems pretty much empty now." Peridot contemplated how barren the room she and Bismuth were standing in looked at the moment. "Then again, we did heal tons of corrupted Gems after pacifying the Diamonds."

"But then with Demantoid & Pyrope, Spinel, and Black Rutile, I guess we just got a little distracted finding new Gems." Bismuth added as the two left the Burning Room and went to the bathroom with their findings. Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Lapis, Jasper, and White Topaz already had the red carpet rolled out with a bathtub full of water with the Diamonds' essences being poured into it, now all they needed were the gems themselves for the final touch. "Well, here goes nothing."

The five gems were dropped into the bathwater after the bubble was popped, and slowly became fully submerged in the Diamonds' essences. "One more thing." Pearl declared as she reached in and removed Desert Glass's gem from her pillow, allowing the reversal of her corruption to take full effect just like the others.

A few moments later, the five gems began glowing white as their forms emerged from the water before finally taking shape and being reborn at last. Desert Glass looked the most humanoid out of the five with green skin, her gem on her stomach, a rather Egyptian design with a white top & skirt, a golden pair of arm bracelets, brown boots, and a strangely ample chest.

Albite was next to reconstitute. She looked somewhat similar to Peridot, primarily thanks to their shared hairstyles, but Albite had one large bang over her forehead, a dark gray star over a pair of matching-colored straps, her gem being on her back, gray gloves, and gray leggings.

Then there was Serpentine, who had a more snakelike face than the others with a forked tongue. She had an orange hooded bodysuit with stars on her legs, her arms were exposed and had black spots zigzagging on her arms, is barefoot, her gem was on her shoulder, and rather uniquely styled hair that gave her head the appearance of a snake's mouth.

Next was Beryl. She looked almost identical to Aquamarine, but she was primarily green-colored with her hair in pigtails, her gemstone located beneath her right eye, and a star pin on the left side of her chest. Also unlike the perpetually smug Aquamarine, Beryl had an innocent smile on her face as she spat out some bathwater.

Finally, there was the red, orange, and brown colored Tiger's Eye, whose gem was also on her stomach like Desert Glass, and she had reddish-brown flare-cut hair, stripes all over her body, white-tipped feet, and the legs of her shorts were torn up.

"Guys, you're finally back!" Bismuth cried in delight as she brought the five restored Crystal Gems in for a hug. "It's been so long!"

"We missed you too, Bismuth." Desert Glass said as she returned the hug, but not before she noticed the unfamiliar Gems in the room with them. "Um, excuse me, but who are these people?"

"Oh, Glass, I see you noticed that we've made quite a few changes since we lost you." Pearl said while helping Desert Glass out of the tub. "Let me introduce you to Amethyst, Peridot, and Lapis Lazuli, a couple of recruits we met ages after the war."

"Wassup?" Lapis greeted the new arrivals.

"Welcome to Earth, guys!" Amethyst added while passing out pamphlets talking about Little Homeworld and the Gems' corruption scars. "You're gonna love it here!"

"Thanks for the gratitude, but I want to know." Albite said. "What has happened to this planet? I thought the Earth would've been lost, and yet here you all are! I need answers! And a good challenge too."

"Oh, are you in for quite a surprise." Garnet grinned while leading their five new students to the Warp Pad, which took everyone to Little Homeworld. "Welcome one and all to Little Homeworld!"

"Little Homeworld?!" Serpentine responded in shock. "You mean you surrendered to Homeworld?!"

"No, you're getting it all wrong." Bismuth tried calming Serpentine's nerves. "We didn't surrender; we're all at peace now. I know, shocking to hear after all the fighting we've done, but we managed to reach an agreement with the Diamonds after learning that Rose was one of them the whole time."

"Pardon?" Tiger's Eye's interest was suddenly piqued.

"Yeah, that was my first response too." Jasper snarked.

"It's a very long story, you guys." Peridot replied. "We'll tell you more later, but in the meantime, why don't you introduce yourselves to everyone?"

"I'd very much like that." Albite agreed before she leaped onto a nearby lamppost to make herself known. "Greetings, fellow Gems! I am Albite, the greatest fighter in the coliseum turned the mightiest warrior of all the Crystal Gems! If anyone wishes to challenge me, I'd be more than happy to!"

"Oh my, someone's eager to make friends." Desert Glass chuckled lightly while continuing to read through the pamphlet. "So, what is there to do here?"

"Oh, tons of stuff, now that the government gave us enough funding to expand Little Homeworld." White Topaz responded. "We got art classes, forging with Bismuth, dance with me, self-defense with Jasper, sports with Laz & Zuli, human fashion with Morganite & Pyrope, gardening with Peridot, the whole shebang!"

"I feel like doing further research on this establishment." Serpentine said as she took the pamphlet from Glass's hands to read some of it herself. "These classes are so fascinating."

"Wow, everyone looks so cool and colorful!" Beryl cried excitedly and started running off. "I wanna see everyone!"

"Hey, wait up Berry!" Tiger's Eye hollered as she got on all fours to race after Beryl as the little green Gem began introducing herself to every Gem she could find.

"Hi, my name's Beryl! Baa!" Beryl greeted Teal Zircon, before she moved onto Morganite and gave her the exact same greeting. "Hi, my name's Beryl! Baa!"

"Come back here, you little weirdo!" Tiger playfully cried as the chase continued. "Maybe when we catch up, I can help you make all sorts of friends!" However, the pursuit was abruptly ended when Tiger accidentally ran into a blue Gem that she realized looked quite a bit like Beryl. "Hey, wait, you look a bit like someone I know."

"You mean that obnoxious Beryl over there?" Aquamarine asked while pointing to Beryl greeting Holly Blue with a baa. "I swear, I just met her, and she's already getting on my nerves with how childlike she is."

"Oh, what up pot, name's kettle." Tiger's Eye replied with snark. "I think we'd get along just fine."

"Don't you dare talk back to such a high-ranking Gem, you low-class soldier!" Aquamarine yelled back at Tiger. "Though, maybe we got off on the wrong foot. Tell me, how do you feel about this whole Pink Diamond chicanery?"

"Frankly, I don't really care whether it's Rose Quartz or Pink Diamond." Tiger's Eye responded. "I'm just happy to be me again."

"But technically, you still aren't you anymore." Aquamarine commented. "You went from a mindless monster to a mindless slave of the Crystal Gems. But with Black Rutile, she can allow you to do as you please once she conquers our entire race!"

"Look, squirt, if you're trying to indoctrinate me into your weird cult, I'm not buying it." Tiger responded as she picked up Beryl with her teeth and began to walk away. "See you in class!"

"But, but!" Aquamarine stuttered, but she was too late as Tiger's Eye and Beryl had already left. "Ugh, we lost one."

"Looks like the new blood won't be as willing to join us as we thought." Holly Blue pondered. "What do you suppose we do to bolster our ranks? Maybe find another Cluster Gem to take apart so we can find the pieces of their components?"

"That would take quite a while." Cat's Eye disagreed with the notion. "I say we just go to our classes and wait until Black Rutile comes out for further orders."

"I suppose so." Holly declared defeatedly as the three Gems began to go their separate ways. "Maybe when we finally win, I can stop being that Jasper's punching bag."

"Oh my, this is quite intriguing." Black Rutile muttered to herself after a sip of coffee while reading her psychology book. Right beside her in the living room was a big whiteboard with the Crystal Gems drawn on it with the title "HOW MENTAL ARE THEY?" written above him and surrounded by their various mental issues. Lapis had "SHOCKING LACK OF EMPATHY; VIOLENT URGES" written next to her. Peridot was given "NARCISSISTIC TO THE NTH DEGREE." Bismuth got "RESISTANT TOWARDS DISAGREEMENT." Pearl had "INCREDIBLY CLINGY." Amethyst was "BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN POOR SELF-ESTEEM AND PERFECTLY NORMAL." Finally, Garnet had "NO PERSONALITY BESIDES FUSION."

But at the center of it all, Steven had the most notes surrounding him, ranging from "EMOTIONAL IMMATURITY," "REFUSES TO ACCEPT CHANGE," "INCREDIBLY FORCEFUL," and "REFUSES TO ACCEPT THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT DON'T LIKE HIM." It was only natural he gets this many, since Black Rutile hates him that much.

"Now, let's see what we got here so far." Black Rutile muttered to herself while taking another sip of coffee and looking through her book. "Peridot just screams narcissistic personality disorder, obviously. Amethyst, probably bipolar disorder." As she diagnosed each of her enemies, Black Rutile wrote every disorder she could find that she believed fit what she observed about them on the board. "Lapis most likely has antisocial personality disorder, Bismuth certainly fits borderline with a hint of rejection sensitive dysphoria, Pearl just screams dependent personality disorder, and maybe Garnet does as well."

When Black Rutile finished with the other Gems, she grew an evil smile on her face while gazing at her portrait of Steven. "Oh, hello there, Mr. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder!" she cackled as she wrote the name of that affliction under Steven. "I mean, it is pretty obvious when you look at it." She then monologued to herself. "And of course, that also leads to some good ol' borderline personality disorder and maybe a little bit of dependent, since he's been everyone's crutch whether they like it or now."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, followed by Garnet and White Topaz kicking it down and causing Black Rutile to spill her coffee all over the whiteboard in alarm, accidentally erasing all of her data. "Look at what you did! All my hard work is ruined!"

"You can focus on the board later; your first class is starting soon!" Garnet exclaimed as she snatched Black Rutile's book out of her hands and slapped it on the coffee table. "What were you writing, anyway?"

"Oh, nothing much, just diagnosing all of you with mental conditions from my book to prove how dysfunctional you are." Black Rutile admitted with another sip of joe. "And also becoming obsessed with this hot brown morning potion and slowly realizing it's one of the only things keeping me sane in this cruel, hateful world."

"Come on, Black Rutile, you'll learn to like Little Homeschool." White Topaz assured her former superior while dragging her out of the house.

"No, let me go!" Black Rutile yelled as she grabbed onto the doorframe to keep White Topaz from keeping her outside. "I've gained a special interest in the human brain and how evil it can potentially be!"

"I thought she was a tough nut to crack before, but she keeps proving me wrong every time." Garnet smirked. "Don't worry. I'm sure you'll love what your first class could be."

Contrary to what Garnet said, Black Rutile's first class was with Amethyst, and she was not amused with either the subject she was forced to learn or some of her classmates being part of her enemies list. "I do not love this in the slightest."

"Morning, students." Amethyst greeted her class of Teal Zircon, Onion, Biggs & Ocean Jasper, and Tiger's Eye. "Today, we have some new Gems joining our class, one of which I'm pretty sure you're all familiar with. Say hi, Black Rutile."

"Hi, Black Rutile." Black Rutile sarcastically greeted, to the amusement of her fellow students.

"Wow, it looks like you finally got a sense of humor!" Teal Zircon giggled.

"Don't make a big deal out of this, everyone." Black Rutile said as she got up and faced her schoolmates. "Just because you're forcing me into your disgusting hivemind doesn't mean I'll give in! My willpower is far stronger than you realize!"

"Oh geez, here we go with the speeches again." Amethyst mumbled with a roll of her eyes.

"I don't care about you; you are all nothing to me!" Black Rutile continued ranting. "You are all bacterium! I travel in worlds you cannot even imagine! You can't conceive what I'm capable of! I'm so far beyond you, I'm like a god in Gem clothing!"

"Okay, that's enough introductions, now please sit down." Amethyst ordered Black Rutile, cutting off her insane ramble and turning it into disgusted grumbling as Black Rutile sat down next to Onion.

"What are you looking at?" Black Rutile asked Onion, who just stared at her ominously. "What's wrong with you? If you have nothing to say, don't say it at all!" Onion continued staring at Black Rutile, further creeping her out. "Seriously, quit it. You're creeping me out!"

"Okay, let's have our other new student introduce themselves now." Amethyst groaned before gesturing to Tiger's Eye. "Hey Tiger, come on up!"

"Gladly!" Tiger's Eye said as she got up to introduce herself. "What's up, everyone? My name's Tiger's Eye! I'm new here. Gladiator turned soldier in the Rebellion. I hope we can all be friends!"

"Wow, Cat's Eye, you have been doing excellently in my class!" Pearl complimented Cat's Eye as the aristocrat turned lawyer turned rebel took multiple selfies of herself in various outfits as a new student of Pearl's technology class. "Maybe a little too excellent. You know there's more to technology than just posting pictures online. It can also be used in various ways, mainly for informational purposes."

"Yeah, but my ways are much more fun." Cat's Eye said while handing her smartphone to Pearl. "Look! I got 15k followers across all my social media pages, and in such a short time too!"

"Wow, remarkable!" Pearl gasped in amazement. "Then again, I have seen many people online get that many followers just as quickly, perhaps even faster than you."

"Is that a challenge I hear?" Cat proclaimed as she dragged Pearl in for another selfie. "Here, let's take one together!"

"Now, Holly, don't scream for this part." Jasper urged his reluctant teaching assistant before launching her into the air and repeatedly smacking her with what Holly Blue thought was an infinite amount of roundhouse kicks.

"Make! It! Stop!" Holly Blue yelled with every kick to her face. "I! Hate! Every! Second! Of! This!"

"I said not to scream!" Jasper roared back as she finished kicking Holly and punched her to the ground, creating a large crater where Holly Blue lay unconscious. "Make another sound, or I'll show my students here what to do when an opponent tries to escape by begging for mercy."

"You're doing amazing, Jasp!" White Topaz cheered for her friend, causing Jasper to blush.

"Wow, this is so much fun!" Beryl cheered. "Can I give it a shot?"

"Sorry, kid, maybe when you make yourself a little taller." Jasper declined with a shake of her hair, much to Beryl's disappointment. "Look, I get you're eager and want to prove yourself, but maybe you should try some fighting that's more your style."

"I understand." Beryl politely nodded. "I never got a chance to prove myself back when I was an aristocrat. Everyone thought I was too much of a little kid to be taken seriously."

"And you still are!" Holly Blue groaned as she struggled to get out of the crater. "No one ever took you seriously because you're just an annoying child!"

"I know I am, but what are you?" Beryl responded sassily before slapping Holly Blue in the face, causing the other Gems present to cheer for Beryl and laugh at Holly's expense.

"I miss the good old days." Holly proclaimed wearily.

"Good, good." Lapis reviewed each of her students' sculptures. Albite had made a bust of herself, while Larimar created a big polar ice cap. "Nice work there, Cherry!" she complimented Cherry Quartz's sculpture. "And what do you have there, Aquamarine?"

"I have sculpted the truth." Aquamarine calmly declared as she presented a statue of Steven that made him look like he was on the verge of death. "I have sculpted my truth."

"Uh, any reason why Steven looks like he's dying?" Lapis asked nervously.

"I plan on using it to vent my frustrations against Steven." Aquamarine replied before taking one of the sculpting tools to cut Steven's face off with an evil grin on hers. "So therapeutic!"

"We should really get an onsite therapist." Lapis muttered to herself before turning to face Desert Glass and Serpentine. "So, what did you two come up with?"

"Using Glass's architectural genius and my regular genius, we made a perfect replica of Little Homeworld out of sand." Serpentine proudly declared.

"Are you impressed?" Desert Glass asked, just as confident.

"Yes, very!" Lapis replied in amazement as she examined the model Little Homeworld further. "Hey, you even got little versions of us, doing exactly what's happening right now." The tiny sand Lapis gazed up at the real Lapis in amazement before examining her small, sandy hands. "Okay, this got a little existential."

"Oy, they just don't respect art these days." Aquamarine groaned depressingly before she turned to find Eyeball and the other Rubies planting flowers with Peridot. "Oh, hey Eyeball! How's the infiltration going?"

"Infiltration?" Peridot asked. "What are you infiltrating, Eyeball?"

"Just infiltrating this class so I can get good grades!" Eyeball fibbed as she nervously glanced at Aquamarine behind her. "Yep, nothing suspicious!"

"Well, if you say so." Peridot shrugged before getting back to teaching the Rubies.

"You better not screw this up and turn on us." Aquamarine scowled at Eyeball while she returned to cutting up her voodoo Steven sculpture.

Once the Gems' school day began winding to a close, the students started milling about and conversing about their classes today. However, only one wasn't as social as the others, that, of course, being Black Rutile. She stood in the darkness cast by some buildings, scowling at the Gems she was forced to call her classmates while jotting down ideas for big-scale revenge plots on the holograms created by her visor. However, someone was there to quickly break her concentration.

"Whatcha doin'?" Beryl asked innocently, giving Black Rutile a spook before she looked down at the adorable green Gem beneath her. "Why are you standing here instead of talking with everyone else?"

"That's because I hate everyone else, little runt." Black Rutile growled. "How can I live with myself if I'm forced against my will to act like every other Gem in this repugnant, squalid concentration camp?!"

"What do those mean?" Beryl asked again, making Black Rutile's eyes widen at how little this Gem knew of the world around her.

"Well, repugnant is when something is utterly deplorable, squalid means incredibly dirty," Black Rutile reluctantly explained in the most condescending way possible. "and a concentration camp is where innocents are held against their will in very harsh conditions. Oh, crack, I can't believe I had to explain all that."

"Hey, Beryl, making new friends again?" Serpentine asked as she, Desert Glass, Tiger's Eye, and Albite approached Beryl and Tiger's Eye, only to recognize Black Rutile immediately. "Wait just a second, Black Rutile? Is that you?"

"Serpentine?" Black Rutile gasped in shock as she was joined by Aquamarine, Eyeball, Holly Blue, and Cat's Eye. "What happened to you? It's been ages!"

"The Diamonds have corrupted me!" Serpentine answered. "So, I hear you've been up to some rather shady stuff that landed you here, huh?"

"Shady might be selling it short." Eyeball answered. "How do you two know each other, my Rutile?"

"The two of us, along with Bloodstone, actually worked together on a few projects long ago." Black Rutile revealed. "The three of us were like the science equivalents to the Diamonds, since I worked under White Diamond, Bloodstone worked for Yellow, and Serpentine worked for Blue. Which reminds me, Serpy, are any of our old machines still around?"

"Unfortunately, I think some of them have been taken down for parts." Serpentine declared. "But fortunately, there are a few we couldn't finish that I think might be collecting dust in our old lab somewhere."

"Oh, really? Name one of them." Black Rutile continued asking, making Cinnabar very uncomfortable.

"Well, I think we couldn't finish the Vortexxer." Serpentine sweated nervously before she yanked herself away and walked off. "Well, I gotta go! Nice catching up with you!"

"What was that for?" Tiger's Eye asked Black Rutile.

"None of your beeswax, Tiger!" Cat's Eye yowled back while blowing cigarette smoke in Tiger's face.

"Oh great, you're here too, kitty cat." Tiger rolled her eyes at Cat and stuck her tongue out before picking up Beryl to take her away,

"Are you sure this Vortexxer wasn't made to murder people?" Desert Glass asked innocently, despite how violent her question sounded.

"I kind of doubt it." Albite replied as she and Glass were the last Gems to leave Black Rutile's group.

"Yeah, I kinda want to know too." Eyeball wondered. "What is the Vortexxer?"

"The Vortexxer was a portal to other universes that the Diamonds commissioned some of their greatest minds to build so they can conquer universes beyond the one we're familiar with." Black Rutile explained while presenting a holographic image of a large ring-like device containing a green-colored portal. "It's kind of a ring thing. Comes with a dialer. You hit the symbols, it spins around, and lights come on. However, the first prototype proved to the Diamonds that multiversal conquest would be too dangerous since some of the test subjects that went through the portal never came back."

"Are you insinuating that we complete this portal ourselves?" Holly Blue wondered. "What can this do for us?"

"Why yes, I'm surprised I didn't make it more obvious." Black Rutile stated. "If we work out the kinks and make it less hazardous, we can use the portal to create a bridge to other worlds with like-minded souls we can recruit to our cause."

As Black Rutile shut off the hologram and the Rutile Rebels separated, White Topaz quietly watched from afar and hid away as soon as Black Rutile turned to check if someone was listening.

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 2: Two Birds on a Wire

It was a warm summer afternoon in Little Homeworld. Classes had finished for the day, and the Gems were ready to relax until the school day would start again tomorrow. However, one Gem had other plans in mind. Perched atop the entrance to the Gem village, Aquamarine waited patiently as she watched Eyeball and Navy group up after class.

"So, how has gardening with Peridot been for you today?" Eyeball asked Navy.

"Quite intriguing!" Navy replied. "I have learned so much about plants today!"

"Whatever." Eyeball rolled her eye before she saw a limo pull up to Little Homeworld. "And look who's finally showing up."

"Well, this is your stop." Mayor Nanafua Pizza said as Doc, Army, and Leggy got out of the limo. "You go on and play with your potentially evil friends now."

"Thank you, Ms. Mayor." The mayor's three Ruby bodyguards replied in unison before the limousine drove away, leaving the trio to meet back up with their traitorous comrades.

"Hi Ruby, hi Ruby." Leggy greeted Eyeball and Navy. "How have things been for you today?"

"Oh, you know, same old same old." Eyeball replied nervously, trying to hide her true intentions from the others until the time was right. "I guess you've been doing the same, eh?"

"Yes, Mayor Gunga's a good boss." Doc responded. "Her family are nice people too. It's like we're extended members."

"Strange, and here I thought humans were mindless sheep you can turn into hateful mobs with a mere word." Eyeball whispered to Navy. "Don't quote me on that."

"What was that?" Doc asked.

"Nothing much!" Navy lied when she saw Aquamarine flying towards her and Eyeball. "Oh hey, Aquamarine is here!"

"Rubies, I have the most brilliant news!" Aquamarine exclaimed happily. "You two must simply come with me to Black Rutile's house!"

"I wonder what kind of news it is?" Eyeball asked.

"Don't leave us in suspense." Navy added.

"Hey, can we come too?" Doc asked the tiny, blue Gem.

"I'm sorry, but this is between just us three." Aquamarine frowned at Doc. "None of you can come with."

"Aw, but I wanted to see what the news was." Leggy frowned in disappointment while Army patted her on the back.

"Oh, don't worry, guys, you'll see what we're talking about in time." Navy grinned sinisterly at her old teammates as the two rebellious Rubies were taken away by Aquamarine.

"Come on, come on." Black Rutile muttered to herself at her house as she watched some old videos on her new visor. "Give me some clues, please."

"What will all those backed-up files I saved onto your visor do for us?" Holly Blue mumbled as she lay on the couch with Cat's Eye by her side. Holly was holding a handful of ice to her face to recover from the wounds she sustained as Jasper's training dummy, while Cat helped the Agate recuperate. "This is taking forever!"

"Tut tut, no need to move a muscle, Holly. You're already hurt enough." Cat's Eye chided her fellow former aristocrat.

"We don't even have those!" Holly Blue complained. "We're not even flesh and blood creatures!"

"Now, what could be keeping Aqua and Ruby so long?" Cat pondered as she started texting on her phone. "I swear they'd be here soon."

Just then, the front door opened, followed by Aquamarine and the two Rubies entering the house. "You called?"

"Oh, speak of the devil." Black Rutile turned to her second in command with a smile. "Aquamarine, Rubies, you came at just the right time because I just made a breakthrough on the Vortexxer's location!"

"Oh yes, just what I needed to hear!" Aquamarine exclaimed delightfully. "Where is it?"

"Thanks to some old logs I have saved here, I have narrowed down where the Vortexxer is now." Black Rutile declared proudly. "Come, take a listen." She then pulled out one of those logs to play on her visor, dating back thousands of years ago.

"Log date 6-18-12, day 75 of our construction of the Vortexxer." A younger Black Rutile narrated in the log. "Over the past few days, Serpentine and I made some adjustments to our prototype of the device at the Diamonds' request after some of the Pearls we used as test subjects went missing on the other side of the portal. Though Serpentine believes that the machine is the problem, I'm insisting that we simply haven't found the right dimension. Every universe we detected was incredibly hazardous, like this one world where organics knew they couldn't change their society in a post-apocalyptic landscape, so they blamed these creatures called Beasts rather than reflect on themselves. Meanwhile, Bloodstone insists that Pink Diamond may still be alive somehow, but I'll have to look further into this before validating her claims."

"Black Rutile, the Vortexxer is ready again." Serpentine announced. "Hessonite has some more Pearls conscripted to serve as test subjects."

"I knew she would pull through." The younger, more cheerful Rutile beamed. "Get these Pearls ready for the portal, and tell Hessonite I give her my thanks as always."

"Wait, you guys, I just found a flaw in the portal!" Bloodstone cried. "We can't test just yet; we need more work!"

"Can this wait, Bloodstone? I think you might be too late to stop us now." Black Rutile answered unsympathetically. "Now, Serpentine, are the Pearls ready?"

"Affirmative, Black Rutile." Serpentine replied. "Though I must agree with Bloodstone here, maybe we should wait a bit before testing again."

"I said, are the Pearls ready?!" Black Rutile repeated angrily, indicating to the Rutile Rebels in the present day that Serpentine and Bloodstone were more ethical than their past lab partner when it came to scientific breakthroughs.

"Affirmative, Black Rutile!" Serpentine exclaimed in a scared voice before the Rebels heard her pull a lever and a machine activate. Just as Serpentine and Bloodstone feared, the machine started going haywire as their guinea pig Pearls began screaming in terror, followed by dead silence. "Where did they go?"

"According to my calculations, those Pearls wound up in some swampland world called Amphibia." Black Rutile observed before scoffing. "Whatever that place is, they're good as gone."

It was here that Black Rutile shut off the log and turned to her colleagues. "Now, after hearing all that, surely you must realize why the Vortexxer was believed to be so dangerous, correct?"

"Because none of you had the bright idea at the time to just scrap the whole project and start all over again?" Holly Blue suggested with her answer.

"Correct, Holly, though you probably could've sounded less condescending." Black Rutile answered. "But enough about my past failures. We need to find this machine and finish what I started thousands of years ago." She then switched out of her logs and presented various maps of Homeworld. "With help from my logs, I've triangulated the Vortexxer's location to my old laboratory in the Scientific District of Homeworld. We'll have to be stealthy since we've been essentially all but exiled from the planet for our various wrongdoings."

"We'll prepare for the excursion, my Rutile." Aquamarine curtsied to her boss before turning to Eyeball, who had looked a little unsure throughout the demonstration. "Something the matter, Ruby?"

"It's nothing, Aquamarine." Eyeball fibbed. "Okay, maybe it's just that I want revenge on Steven just as much as all of you. But here on Earth, I can finally stay together with my old crew where nothing can tear us apart! What'll they think when they learn I've been going behind their backs?"

"Oh, they won't ever be any wiser." Aquamarine replied coldly. "Besides, they're all a bunch of useless corun-dummies who can't tell a Gem from a colorful human, or a Jasper from an Amethyst shapeshifted into one."

"Hey, I'm standing right here!" Navy yelled offendedly.

"Besides, remember when we first met, my dear?" Aquamarine asked, paying no attention to Navy taking offense to her insult as she looked back on the aftermath of the Era 3 ball.

Eyeball was absolutely outraged when she heard the news spread far and wide across Homeworld. Not only had Steven Universe decided to show his face on Homeworld again despite being declared a fugitive since last she saw him, but now he and the Crystal Gems started spreading lies about how Pink Diamond survived being shattered and was Rose Quartz the whole time. And the Diamonds bought it like complete idiots to the point of throwing a ball for him! Eyeball still couldn't believe her eye, because she saw Pink get shattered by Rose with that eye.

Because of this, she refused to join the other Rubies in coming to the ball. For the next few months afterward, since the beginning of Era 3, she had faced unjust discrimination for her attempted murder against Steven while they were stuck in space, even though it was all his fault to begin with that she was drifting there.

"Hey, look, it's the crazy Ruby!" a Cloudy Quartz jeered at Eyeball in the direct aftermath of Steven's confrontation with White Diamond. "Hey, you gonna try and shatter a Diamond again?!"

"No, I'm not!" Eyeball yelled at Cloudy and her friend Forest Fire Jasper. "This was all Steven's fault that you're all picking on me! I could've joined the upper crusts if I brought home his gem, and even had my own Pearl!"

"Yeah, sorry, Ruby, but that kind of behavior isn't going to fly these days." Cloudy Quartz scoffed. "Why don't you just run along and play with your Ruby friends? Oh wait, you don't have friends anymore!"

"Well, this kind of behavior won't win you any friends either!" Eyeball replied before she stormed off, leaving the two quartzes to laugh at each other as she kept walking away.

All around the belligerent Ruby, Gems glared suspiciously at her as they worked together to utterly overhaul the Homeworld she once knew. No more uniform, one-color buildings surrounded her; now, more and more of that putrid organic life was being installed to liven things up. It absolutely sickened Eyeball how the Crystal Gems had basically brainwashed the Gems she once called friends, allies, and family into abandoning their old ways, just like how Rose gaslit what would become the Crystal Gems into joining her.

Eyeball's moping would quickly be halted when, in the act of not looking where she was going, the Ruby bumped into a blue Gem that seemed as tall as she was and who happened to look just as furious. "Hey, watch where you're going!"

"Same to you, Ruby!" Aquamarine barked back when she finally realized who she had just run into. "Hey, wait a second. Aren't you that Ruby that Steven kept lying to and abandoning all the time?"

"Oh sure, that's how you remember me." Eyeball responded grumpily. "And aren't you that Aquamarine who captured a certain Steven after he lied to you about being Rose Quartz?"

"Why yes, indeed I am." Aquamarine smugly replied. "I could've been celebrated far and wide as the one who ended the Crystal Gems once and for all, but now I've basically lost everything. My Topaz, my wand, my destabilizers, all of it!"

"Oh please, you're an aristocratic Gem." Eyeball added unsympathetically. "I'm sure there's more where all of them came from."

"That's the problem. They're reclaiming all non-summoned weapons because they want to become more pacifistic, or something stupid like that." Aquamarine stated. "Surely you find that the least bit pitiable?"

"As a matter of fact, it isn't." Eyeball growled. "When Steven enslaved us all, Ruby, Ruby, and Ruby left me out to dry, and I'm not sure where Ruby went. They were like family to me, and now I have nothing!"

"You got to be kidding me." Aquamarine facepalmed in disgust. "Family, is that what those other Rubies are to you? I don't need such things. I had everything I could ever want!"

"Well, that's because you're a stuck-up little brat!" Eyeball began screaming.

"Oh, big talk coming from an expendable grunt!" Aquamarine screamed as well. "You want to go, little blockhead? Come at me, bro!"

"Alright, you two, break it up." A Jasper's distinct, growling voice stopped the pair's bickering before it could heat up. Although Eyeball feared she would have to contend with Forest Fire Jasper again, looking up, she discovered a Jasper with gray skin, black spots all over her body, a dark green poncho, and her gem where her left hand should be. "Bickering between Gems of differing castes, just like the old days."

"Uh, can we help you?" Eyeball asked nervously, intimidated by the Dalmatian Jasper towering over her and Aquamarine.

"I'm gonna need you two to come with me. It's of the utmost importance." Dalmatian Jasper commanded. "A friend of yours led me to you, Ruby."

"Hi, Ruby!" Navy chirped sneakily. "Did you miss me?"

"Ruby, you came back!" Eyeball began crying with joy. "You finally came to your senses!"

"That's the thing, Ruby," Navy responded. "I kept them to begin with. Dalmatian Jasper here just helped me realize it."

"And now, the three of you will be part of something big." Dalmatian Jasper added before she turned away to make a call. "Zoisite, I got another Ruby and an Aquamarine. How are things on your end?"

"Not great. This Holly Blue is really grating on my nerves." Zoisite grumbled on the other end. While Dalmatian Jasper watched her bounty hunting partner argue with Holly Blue Agate, Eyeball and Aquamarine started conversing with Navy on why she was with the Jasper.

"So, what's the big secret?" Eyeball whispered to Navy. "Are we coming back or something?"

"I haven't really got an answer right now, but yeah, I'm thinking we're back." Navy replied before turning to Aquamarine. "You with us?"

"I'm not too sure about falling in with the likes of you two," Aquamarine said. "but if this big plan has something to do with Steven, I'm for it."

In the present day, the Rutile Rebels had successfully infiltrated the planet they were banished from while taking the form of humanoid snake-like creatures to disguise themselves. "Okay, everyone, as far as everyone here knows, we're all visiting Sneople dignitaries from Serpentes." Black Rutile stated. "I want all of you to act natural and not raise suspicion while we search for my old lab."

"Righty-o, my Rutile! I even got into character, too!" the disguised Cat's Eye exclaimed. "Sssssalutations good Gems. How'sssss your day going?"

"Okay, enough with the hissing. The Sneople find that ridiculously offensive." Holly Blue ordered Cat as the six Gems split up to cover more ground and keep anyone getting wary of them on their toes.

As the search continued, eventually, the Rebels' serpentine disguises were dropped as soon as they were sure no one could find them in the Scientific District. Eyeball saw fit to speak up as the group began getting warmer and asked Aquamarine something. "Hey, Aquamarine, I got a question for you."

"Make it quick. I haven't got all day." Aquamarine replied.

"I just want to know, are you happy with where you are right now?" Eyeball inquired. "After all we've been through together, fusing, fighting Steven, siding with Black Rutile, losing everything we ever had, are you still happy where you stand?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised I'm still content with my standing," Aquamarine responded. "I mean, outside of losing everything I've ever had, twice even, but at least I can stand by the side of a Gem who knows what she's doing is for the good of us all."

"Are you sure about that, or are you just ambivalent to how Black Rutile is pulling all of this off just to satisfy her petty grudge with Pink Diamond and her own superiority complex?" Eyeball added.

"Come again?" Black Rutile asked coldly, having overheard his two subordinates' debate.

"Nothing!" Eyeball replied innocently before the search finally concluded with the Rutile Rebels standing before a large black building that looked like it wasn't touched in years.

"Ah, home sweet home!" Black Rutile sighed in delight as she opened the entrance to her old laboratory. "Bloodstone was never good at keeping this thing locked up. But in any case, this is where the magic happened!"

"So, all of this was your doing?" Holly Blue asked as she looked around at the various inventions still left in the lab.

"Ooh, what does this button do?" Cat's Eye asked while eyeing a very shiny red button.

"Don't touch that, pussycat!" Black Rutile commanded Cat. "I designed this to activate all these bombs! If I didn't stop you, the Vortexxer would be destroyed, and all our efforts would be for nothing!"

"Speaking of which, I think I just found it." Eyeball announced as she stood before the very portal she had only seen in holograms just a few days ago.

"Good grief, how can we possibly transport that back to Earth?!" Holly Blue continued gasping at the size of the Vortexxer. "It's enormous!"

"Well, there's another feature of the Vortexxer I didn't tell you earlier." Black Rutile stated as she pushed a button on the console of the Vortexxer and made it shrink down in size, allowing it to be disguised as a bracelet that she put on her wrist. "Size alteration for easy transport!"

"How utterly convenient." Cat snarked before she began gazing at her phone.

"Oh, scoff now, but we can go anywhere in the multiverse with this machine, as I already stated!" Black Rutile announced before she pressed on the shrunken Vortexxer to present the various universes she cataloged while testing it. "For example, here's our universe, which the Vortexxer dubs Earth-2020. And this other universe is nearly identical to ours, which it calls Earth-2013." After presenting the universe they live in now and its near-doppelganger, Black Rutile presented a world where the Crystal Gems looked radically different. Steven was a bit pudgier with pinkish skin, Garnet had long, straight hair, Amethyst had a completely different attire, and Pearl was blue-skinned with visible pierced ears. "This dimension right here, super weird."

"Well, we got what we came here for. Now, let's move it already!" Cat exclaimed when the Rebels heard a knock at the door. "Anyone wanna get that?"

"I'll do it!" Navy offered herself up to answer the door. However, the door was quickly kicked down, and the Rutile Rebels found themselves cornered by Jaspers, Rubies, and Amethysts crowding into the lab.

"FREEZE, REBELS!" Forest Fire Jasper roared as she brandished her weapon at the Rutile Rebels when she recognized Eyeball among them. "Wait, Ruby? You're still with them?"

"Of course I am; what about it?!" Eyeball replied angrily.

"We can trade barbs later!" Black Rutile declared. "We got what we came here for, now everybody scramble!"

"Don't let them escape!" Cloudy Quartz yelled as the Rutile Rebels made a break for it. "Everyone split up; we'll cover more ground easily!"

Escaping from the old laboratory, the Rutile Rebels split up once again to eventually tire their pursuers out. Eyeball, Navy, and Aquamarine took to the rose-colored skies away from a fleet of ships chasing them down, where Eyeball continued her debate with Aquamarine.

"Why did you say this was all an act to satisfy Black Rutile's ego?!" Aquamarine asked. "Have you lost faith in her altogether?!"

"Maybe I have!" Eyeball replied. "After we fused into Pietersite and got beaten by Orange Moonstone, I just couldn't move on anymore! I don't think it's worth it fighting a regime that will always do everything in their power to beat us, but I also don't want to leave you since you're the only one I have left in this universe!"

"You're the only one I have left too!" Aquamarine echoed.

"Hey, what about me?!" Navy yelled.

"Can it, Navy!" the two fusion partners barked at Navy before they started getting fired at, causing Aquamarine to lose her grip on the Rubies and making them start falling to the ground.

"Oh no!" Aquamarine yelled as she dived after the Rubies. "I got you guys!"

"Just leave me here to fall and die." Eyeball said depressingly. "Does it really matter what happens to me now?"

"Of course, it matters what happens!" Aquamarine replied. "You matter to me!"

"Are you serious?!" Eyeball asked.

"Yes, and our hatred of Steven matters just as much!" Aquamarine added, causing Eyeball to reminisce on the first time they fused into Bluebird Azurite.

"A five, six, seven, eight!" Black Rutile counted down as she trained Aquamarine and Eyeball in how to fuse in a private dance studio at her headquarters. Despite the Rutile's instructions, the Ruby jigged as the Aquamarine waltzed, and the Aquamarine twirled when the Ruby kicked. "Synchronize, you two!"

"Are you seriously ordering me to fuse with her?" Aquamarine groaned while shooting a glare at Eyeball. "She doesn't even have two left feet; her feet are where her hands should be!"

"You're just saying that because you're jealous of my superior skills!" Eyeball mocked with her tongue stuck out at the other small Gem.

"Look, you two, do you want to destroy Steven as payback for destroying your lives, or do I have to make you fuse?" Black Rutile threatened the pair by drawing her sword and some drones from her gem. "If the Gems are stronger together through teamwork, then the same should go for us as well. Is that clear?"

"Yes, my Rutile!" the tiny twosome shivered in fear before they turned to each other.

"May I have this dance?" Eyeball offered her hand.

"You may." Aquamarine agreed, and the two began to dance awkwardly to Black Rutile's delight.

"Excellent cooperation, you two!" Black Rutile exclaimed. "And now, for the fusion!"

"We're trying, my Rutile. No need to be so impatient!" Aquamarine responded before she faced Eyeball again. "One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three."

"Can you stop that? I can barely concentrate." Eyeball asked.

"Just trying to keep the rhythm." Aquamarine answered. "Not like you ain't got rhythm."

"I do too! Watch!" Eyeball dared as she took Aquamarine for an unexpected spin, carrying her with such unexpected grace and style for a Ruby before the two began glistening, and their forms merged to form what would become known as Bluebird Azurite.

"W-what is this? What happened?" Bluebird asked herself before being presented with a mirror showing her the fruits of her components' labor.

"It worked; you really fused!" Black Rutile celebrated the fusion. "Welcome to the world, Bluebird Azurite!"

"Bluebird Azurite?!" Bluebird repeated in alarm while examining her reflection further, taking notice of her four legs, the splotches of red and mint green on her body, and the goofy bowl-cut hairstyle. "I look ridiculous, and it's all your fault, Ruby!"

"My fault?! You weren't following my lead!" Eyeball's side of Bluebird Azurite began arguing with Aquamarine, causing the two to un-fuse and push into each other.

"Status update, fusion successful." Black Rutile muttered her findings to herself. "However, the components need work sticking together."

Upon remembering the first time they fused, Eyeball got a taste of how far she and Aquamarine had come. From bickering Gems on different social castes, to forced fusion partners sharing a common goal, to shameless rebels against the Crystal Gems, all the way up to now. They were now the only friends each other had left, brought together by tragedy, and now they could only stay together if they cooperated.

"Quick, take my hand!" Eyeball cried out as she extended her arm towards Aquamarine, who readily accepted the Ruby's hand. They held each other close, allowing them to fuse into Bluebird Azurite again.

"Haha, Bluebird is back in business!" Bluebird excitedly cried upon rebirth before looking down at Navy, still falling through the air. "Do not worry, Ruby. I'll save you!" After taking down her pursuers with her ice cutlass and flaming chisel, Bluebird quickly dove after Navy and saved her in the nick of time.

"You saved me!" Navy cheered before she got a look at Bluebird for the first time. "Wow, that's what your fusion is like? Looks kinda weird."

"Yeah, I get it; now let's find the others and get outta here!" Bluebird replied before flying away with Navy in hand to locate the rest of the Rutile Rebels and flee Homeworld.

"I knew those rebels would still be trouble!" Cloudy Quartz cursed as she and Forest Fire Jasper tried to pick up after Bluebird. "We need to inform someone immediately!"

"But they'll never believe us!" Forest Fire Jasper urged her partner.

"Then we'll make them believe us!" Cloudy proclaimed. "That Black Rutile can't escape justice for long."

A while later, under cover of night, the Rutile Rebels privately returned to Little Homeworld and began installing the Vortexxer into their shared house. Black Rutile was eager to finally finish what she, Bloodstone, and Serpentine started all those centuries ago for her quest for vengeance against the Crystal Gems, but now, she just needed the right parts to get it started.

"I'm so glad the heist went off without much of a hitch! With this portal, we can finally reign supreme!" Black Rutile proudly declared. "No gods or Diamonds, only Gems!"

"Ooh, I cannot wait to see what universes we can travel to with this!" Holly Blue added just as excitedly.

"Hopefully, we can find someone with enough manpower to help us." Cat's Eye replied while taking a nap on the couch when she realized someone was missing. "Hey, where are Aquamarine and the Rubies?"

"Oh, they told me that Ruby has some unfinished business with her team." Black Rutile answered. "Ruby said she's been questioning my ideals since Pietersite lost to Orange Moonstone, but I hope she's got a grip now."

Elsewhere, Doc, Army, and Leggy were patiently awaiting the return of Eyeball and Navy in their house, which looked like their old scout ship. "Where could those two be?" Army asked. "It's not like Ruby and Ruby to show up so late."

"You know, guys. I think something might be wrong with them." Doc claimed nervously. "I mean, even after we welcomed them back, we still see them hanging out with that Aquamarine."

"Yeah, why would anyone want to hang out with someone so mean?" Leggy asked shyly.

"Why, indeed?" Aquamarine added as she, Eyeball, and Navy finally arrived at the Rubies' house, though they didn't have any warm greetings for the mayor's three bodyguards.

"Ruby, there you are!" Doc exclaimed to Eyeball. "We've been worried sick about you! And also, I think you should start staying away from Aquamarine from now on. I got a bad feeling she might be using you two."

"I think you got it wrong." Eyeball growled softly. "She's not using me. We're using you!" Eyeball then pinned Doc to the ground while Aquamarine and Navy kept Leggy and Army from helping their leader.

"What are you doing?!" Doc yelled as she struggled to free herself before Eyeball snatched her goggles off of her face. "Hey, those are mine!"

"No, they're mine now." Eyeball declared as she put on Doc's goggles. They were a near-perfect fit, though she struggled to fit them over her gem. "Look at me! I'm the captain now!" she announced. "And what I say goes! Which means you're under Black Rutile's control now by extension."

As Eyeball laughed evilly, the other Rubies trembled in fear at what Eyeball could have planned for them. Just what have Black Rutile and Aquamarine done to their teammate?

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 3: Date Night

"Kristen, you are the apple of my eye, the key to my heart, the biggest flower in my garden!" the male lead of a cheesy romance movie announced to his love interest before pulling out a wedding ring. "My dear, will you marry me?"

"Oh yes, Christian, yes I will!" Kristen exclaimed. "Now kiss me, you fool!"

"That was such a good movie!" White Topaz sniffed as the film's credits began rolling. "Those two have been through so much together; they're perfect for each other! Kinda like Jasper and me, I suppose." She began thinking back to when she teamed up with the Crystal Gems to save Steven and the earth from Black Rutile, how they both connected over feeling so lost & lonely, and how their growing bond defeated her once and for all through Orange Moonstone.

"Hm, I wonder if Jasper ever had any lovers back in the day?" White Topaz continued pondering. "Or maybe she was just too busy fighting even to consider romance." That was then the Topaz got an idea, and she eagerly stood up from her couch. "Wait, that's it! I'll ask her on a date!" Looking back at the movie she just watched, White Topaz smiled dreamily before bolting out the door, eager to ask Jasper out.

"Okay, everyone, that's enough for today!" Jasper said to her self-defense class students as their session rolled to an end. "Now get out!" she commanded, allowing the class to leave as they talked to each other, and Holly Blue weakly crawled away before White Topaz unknowingly stepped on her head as she walked up to Jasper. "Oh, White Topaz, fancy seeing you here. What do you want?"

"I just came here because I wanted to ask you a very important question." White Topaz stated. "I bet you'll be blown away once you hear it!"

"Whatever it is, save it for later." Jasper said, trying not to pay attention to the Topaz. "I got things to do now."

"Aw, come on, I can see you're hiding something, Jasp!" White Topaz teased Jasper, making the perfect quartz blush in embarrassment. "See, you're even blushing!"

"No, I'm not, Paz!" Jasper tried to deny it and buried her face in her voluminous hair. "Now, leave me alone already!"

"Come on; I just wanted to ask if you want to go on a date with me!" Paz continued, making Jasper freeze up in shock. "Well, do you?" Unfortunately for Paz, Jasper did not answer, and she bolted away, her face still hidden away within her hair. Despite this, White Topaz decided to look on the bright side. "I think I'll take that as a yes." She then cheerfully walked away to tell someone the good news.

As Jasper pulled her hair back to see where she was going, she continued running in embarrassment from White Topaz after the former bodyguard's proposal and now needed someone to tell it to. Jasper never had someone express romantic attraction towards her before since she was always so busy with serving the Diamonds, so hearing White Topaz ask her on a date made her super nervous. She needed someone more of an expert on relationships than she was, perhaps someone who has been in one for ages. Someone like Garnet.

"Garnet, Garnet!" Jasper cried for the fusion of Ruby and Sapphire, who turned to smirk at Jasper. "I need your help."

"Well, this is a new development." Garnet commented as Jasper caught up with her former foe. "Tell me what's on your mind."

"Well, it's about White Topaz and me." Jasper started. "You know how we fused to stop Black Rutile, Aquamarine, and Eyeball once and for all? I think she might be attracted to me now and even asked me out, though I'm not sure."

"She asked you out!" Garnet exclaimed delightfully. "I knew you two would become closer someday! What did you say?"

"No, I'm not that close with her!" Jasper fibbed while blushing like mad. "We were brought together by circumstance and bonded over similar experiences; it's not that deep! Not every duo with a very close relationship should be a couple, you know!" Unfortunately for Jasper, Garnet stood there unblinking, the quartz's reflection appearing on Garnet's shades as anxiety rattled through her. Garnet didn't even need to say anything to force Jasper to drop to her knees and start begging. "Please, Garnet, teach me how to be a good lover! You're my only hope!"

"Well, it looks like the foot is on the other shoe now." Garnet commented on Jasper's state while reminiscing on how they first met, chuckling to herself on how the same Gem that violently un-fused her is now crying for the fusion's help. "Okay, Jasper, stand up straight. I'll give you some help on how to treat a woman right."

"You really mean it?" Jasper said as she got back up.

"Yes. Definitely. Absolutely." Garnet smiled while putting a hand on Garnet's shoulder. "Come on. Me, Amethyst, and Pearl will show you the ropes."

"Remember how I refused your help so many times in the past?" Jasper chuckled dryly. "Funny how things have changed, eh?"

"Most definitely." Garnet replied warmly.

Unlike Jasper, White Topaz cheerfully marched to Peridot and Lapis's house to inform them of the good news. After walking through their front lawn, which was littered with gourd puppies, Paz then knocked on the front door, where Peridot greeted her. "Oh, hello there, White Topaz. What brings you to our homestead today?"

"Well, I got some huge news that I have to share with you and Lapis today, so I'm gonna need you guys for this one." White Topaz said. "Is Lapis here today?"

"Oh, she's just finishing up our latest meep morp!" Peridot proclaimed. "We should teach you how to make one of your own someday."

"Hey, Peridot, who's at the door?" Lapis asked as she flew down the stairs to the living room as Peridot showed White Topaz inside. "Oh, hey, White Topaz. What's up?"

"Well, I actually got some big news for you guys." White Topaz declared. "I just asked Jasper out on a date tonight! I'm not sure if she said yes, but the way she was super embarrassed when I asked definitely gave me some positive vibes."

"I'm sorry, Jasper?" Peridot stuttered in alarm at the fact that Jasper, of all Gems, had asked someone out. "Why her out of literally everyone on the planet?!"

"I mean, you know how she and I treated each other as Malachite!" Lapis agreed with her partner. "I just don't think Jasper is the kind of Gem to actively pursue romance! I honestly thought you two would be just friends because of how you bonded over shared trauma."

"No, you gotta believe me." White Topaz assured the barn mates. "I just want Jasper to finally have someone to love and loves her back. I think it's what she deserves after all her pain and suffering for so many years."

"Well, okay, we'll give this a shot." Lapis declared. "If you think Jasper needs a girlfriend, then I don't see why not."

"Trust me; you're going to love learning with us!" Peridot eagerly added. "If you want to get the girl, you'll need to act like you want to."

"Oh, thanks so much, you guys!" White Topaz squealed eagerly as she wrapped Lapis and Peridot in a big, crushing hug. "I'll listen to everything you say!"

"That's great, Paz. Now can you please let us go?" Lapis gasped as she tried to wriggle free from the Topaz's embrace.

"Okay, so first step on going on a date." Amethyst declared as she and Garnet set Jasper up on a practice date with Pearl at the temple. "You gotta make your lover feel comfortable around you, try and strike up a conversation!"

"Okay, what kind of conversations?" Jasper asked her fellow quartz.

"I don't know, come up with anything!" Amethyst exclaimed before she and Garnet left the room. "Garnet and I will be watching you from the sidelines so we can give you a score between zero and ten."

"Good grief, I'm not prepared for this." Jasper muttered to herself before turning to face Pearl, unsure what to start with. "So, uh, has it ever occurred to you, Pearl, that the process that creates this boredom that we see in the world now may very well be a self-perpetuating, unconscious form of brainwashing created by a world totalitarian government based on money, and that all of this is much more dangerous than one think?"

"Oh dear, getting a little philosophical, I see." Pearl chuckled lightly. "What inspired this idea?"

"Oh, just this movie I saw once." Jasper replied. "Got a little bored once I realized it was just two humans talking over dinner."

"Oh, I love that film!" Pearl exclaimed delightfully. "I never figured some humans could be so spiritual!"

"Yes, the spirit." Jasper added awkwardly. "Like ghosts and such."

"Are we changing the subject now?" Pearl wondered. "I would've really liked to compare our views on that movie."

"What views?!" Jasper started complaining. "It was just two people talking to each other! You see that literally every day! What's so exciting about that?!" Suddenly, Amethyst made an obnoxiously loud buzzer sound as she and Garnet emerged from outside to review Jasper's progress. "What did I do?!"

"You almost had it Jasper." Garnet bluntly critiqued Jasper's performance. "You almost formed a connection with Pearl and had something to talk about, but you just had to screw it all up."

"I apologize. I just have such minimal experience with occasions like this." Jasper confessed. "I was always so focused on training and fighting that such feelings escaped me for so long!"

"Eh, as Garnet said, you almost had it." Amethyst replied warmly. "I'm sure with enough practice; you'll get it right and knock WT off her socks like no one's business!"

"Why would knocking someone off their socks be anyone's business?" Jasper inquired, causing the other Gems to laugh. "No, seriously, why is it anyone's business?" she kept asking, though the Crystal Gems' laughter overlapped her. "Stop laughing, and someone answer me!"

Meanwhile, White Topaz was given a test date of her own with Bismuth, with Peridot and Lapis watching to examine her progress. Unlike Jasper, White Topaz was doing much better in her practice due to being more friendly & sociable with others. But there were still a few things wrong with her behavior on the date.

"So Paz, how has your day been?" Bismuth asked White Topaz. "I've just been doing some forging, spending time with the old Crystal Gems, watching some really good TV. Hey, have you ever heard of Harry's Hot Dogs? That's a funny cartoon about a family running a hot dog place and all the crazy adventures they get into!"

"Oh, that's very nice, but can I get you anything?" White Topaz asked in response, her past self as White Topaz's obedient servant shining through. "Maybe a foot rub, a massage. I could even throw in a planet for you to conquer!"

"Uh, Topaz, you feelin' okay?" Bismuth wondered nervously. "I mean, we should be asking each other questions right now. Save the gift-giving for later!"

"Oops, sorry. Force of habit." White Topaz apologized. "Back on topic, what would you like me to do for you?"

"You're doing it again." Bismuth responded before she turned her head away. "Peri, Lapis, I need a lift here!"

"I see our test subject is acting quite submissive." Peridot analyzed as she and Lapis stepped in to help Bismuth and White Topaz. "You keep asking your date if she needs anything done by you."

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Lapis asked the Topaz. "I mean, you can tell Jasper the date's off if you don't think you're ready."

"No, I want to do this!" White Topaz exclaimed. "I just want Jasper to have a break after all she's done and be with someone who cares about her. Is that too much to ask?"

The Crystal Gems' B-team stared at White Topaz for a moment before they decided to huddle together to discuss their friend's motives. "So, now what do we do?" Lapis asked Peridot and Bismuth. "After hearing her say that, maybe we should give this another shot."

"I certainly agree." Peridot replied to her barn-mate. "Regardless of her submissive behavior, White Topaz seems like such a sweet and understanding Gem who was simply dealt a bad hand in life."

"Maybe a few more practice rounds should help her out." Bismuth proclaimed before the trio broke their huddle and turned to White Topaz. "Well, WT, it looks like you convinced us."

"Oh, thanks guys!" White Topaz cheered. "That reminds me, where should I take Jasper?"

"We already have that part handled for you." Peridot replied. "We already set up a reservation for you two at the Crab Shack. Consider yourselves lucky that our celebrity status for saving the world from Black Rutile helped us make it pretty easy. Though the staff still isn't too happy with how you two destroyed the place."

"Oh dear, they at least had the place rebuilt, right?" White Topaz asked guiltily. "I'm not sure if Jasper and I were thinking straight when we were fighting Pietersite, since we did cause a ton of damage to Beach City."

"I'm still hearing complaints from Mr. Smiley about the Ferris wheel." Bismuth remarked. "So, what do you say? You think you're ready?"

White Topaz's eyes glittered with excitement before she finally gave her answer. "I think I am!"

Later that evening, after a few more practice dates, the Gems finally believed that Jasper and White Topaz were ready for their big night at the Crab Shack. It took a lot of trying and a lot of awkwardness, but at long last, the two lovebirds to be had perfected their conversation skills in time for their dinner.

"Hm, you think I should go with casual or fancy?" White Topaz muttered as she shapeshifted numerous kinds of dresses to wear for tonight, showing off each of them to Peridot, Lapis, and Bismuth. "Your thoughts Peri?"

"I'm probably the last person you should talk to about fashion." Peridot replied. "Just go with whatever you think looks best on you."

"If you say so!" White Topaz beamed and snapped her fingers to turn her current attire into a cute gray strapless dress. "How do I look?"

"Looking good, Paz!" Bismuth complimented the former bodyguard's current attire before someone started knocking on her and Lapis's front door. "Ooh, that must be Jasper!"

"Okay, WT, deep breaths." Lapis said as she tried to calm White Topaz's nerves. "This is just a first date, nothing to get super wound up about."

"What do you mean wound up?" the Topaz laughed. "I'm so excited about this and just want Jasper to have a good time!"

Meanwhile, Peridot had just run up to the door and excitedly opened it, discovering Jasper standing on the other side dressed in an orange suit with a hollyhock over her chest. "Nice suit, Jasper."

"Did I ask for your opinion?" Jasper growled at the tiny technician. "Now, where's White Topaz? It's time."

"She'll be down in a moment." Bismuth replied while walking downstairs with Lapis following her. "Loving the choice of flower for the evening, Jasper."

"Oh, this?" Jasper said while adjusting the hollyhock. "I had this picked for me since Pearl says it was one of Rose's favorites. Means something about the circle of life and how it moves us all, or something."

"Hey, guys." White Topaz greeted as she entered the room, stunning Jasper with her choice of attire for tonight. "Hi, Jasper."

"You're pretty looking good tonight." Jasper stuttered in awe. "I mean, looking good! No, looking pretty tonight!" White Topaz then started laughing. "Uh, good-looking?"

"Don't get so nervous. It's just a first date." White Topaz giggled before she took Jasper's hand, caressing her lover's striped orange skin with her thumb. "You ready?"

"Sure, why not?" Jasper wheezed awkwardly just as Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl appeared outside.

"Your chariot awaits, my friends." Garnet gave an assuring smile before she presented the Mr. Universe van parked outside, with Greg serving as Jasper and White Topaz's chauffeur for the night.

"Hop on in, you two!" Greg exclaimed while honking his horn. "We haven't got all night!"

"Have fun, girls!" Amethyst added as the two strong Gems walked outside hand in hand.

"Remember what we taught you for tonight!" Pearl instructed.

"We won't forget!" White Topaz called back while waving to the Crystal Gems with her free hand. "See you later!"

"This is our chariot?" Jasper commented on the crummy van as she and her white-colored date sat down in the passenger seats. "This looks like trash."

"Now, now Jasper," Greg smiled at the celebrated quartz. "Yes, this van is trash, but it's my trash!"

"I'm just being honest here!" Jasper replied. "You couldn't have picked a better vehicle to drive around in?"

"She's just joking." White Topaz assured Greg with a laugh as Mr. Universe's ride drove away from Little Homeworld to the Crab Shack.

In the aftermath of the final battle against the original Rutile Rebels, the Crab Shack suffered the most damage out of all of Beach City after being completely destroyed by the falling water tower Pietersite tossed Orange Moonstone into. Though the restaurant was able to rebuild with help from the people of Beach City and got a whole new look in the process, none of the staff could forget how dozens of people were nearly jobless because of the Gems.

The Mr. Universe van pulled up to the Crab Shack, and Jasper & White Topaz disembarked to make their reservations, much to the annoyance of the maitre'd. "Oh goody, you two again." He groaned in disgust. "I don't care what you want; just make sure not to leave such a humongous mess this time!"

"Actually, we have a reservation for tonight." White Topaz laughed nervously. "The Crystal Gems made it for me and my date here."

"Now, if you want to keep your job and not get tossed into the water, you will let us in." Jasper snarled in addition. "Do I make myself clear?!"

"Oh yes, madame, I have your reservations right here!" the maitre'd exclaimed both in eagerness and terror. "Right this way, ladies!" He continued trembling in fear as the pair of Gems entered the restaurant, giving a nervous wave as Jasper shot him an intimidating glare before turning to his phone to type something on it.

"Just got threatened into allowing the two Gems that nearly cost me my job into letting them in!" he complained on social media. "#BlackRutileWasRight!"

"Hey, was threatening the guy up front like that really necessary?" White Topaz asked Jasper as the two Gems walked inside the Crab Shack to see numerous couples like them enjoying their time together. Some of them were human couples and Gem couples, but a few of them were Gems they knew dating humans, like Laz getting bored listening to a young man telling stories of his previous dates, Orange Spodumene laughing together with a dark-skinned woman, Emerald trying to get her date to paying attention to her and not to their phone, and many more.

"If he's going to be ungrateful for how thanks to us, he won't have to die along with everyone else on this planet, then I find it necessary." Jasper answered as the couple sat down at their table. "Wow, full house tonight."

"Yeah, lot of Gems dating humans too." White Topaz agreed before she spotted Laz in the distance. "Hi, Laz! It's me, White Topaz! How's your boyfriend doing?!"

"Uh, who is that?" Kevin asked Laz while looking at White Topaz close by.

"Just a friend from when I was part of a league of rogue Gems out for revenge against Steven." Laz responded. "Now, what were you saying about Sabina?"

"You know, speaking of Lapis Lazulis, I suppose you may have heard about Malachite and all that?" Jasper tried to strike up a conversation.

"Oh yeah, I've heard from Black Rutile and Laz!" White Topaz answered. "Last I remember, Black Rutile was pretty pissed about how Lapis got no punishment for her actions, and yet so many Gems were outcasted for doing what they were supposed to do. You know, normal Black Rutile stuff. Still, it is pretty messed up what Lapis is willing to do for the sake of others."

"Yeah, it was really mutually toxic for the most part." Jasper agreed solemnly. "I mean, first she forced me into the ocean, then I took my rage out on her for robbing me of a rematch, then she took her rage out on me for taking my rage out on her. It was just super problematic all around!" She then took a deep breath. "Thankfully, times are different now, all because of Steven."

"Good evening, ladies, my name is Earl, and I'll be your waiter for tonight." A mustached man in a suit introduced himself to Jasp and Paz before he realized who he was talking to. "Oh, wait, you two again."

"Howdy, mister!" White Topaz greeted the waiter. "Hey, uh, no hard feelings about making you almost lose your job?"

"Consider yourself lucky the entire world is swallowed in Crystal Gem mania." Dimitri remarked passive-aggressively while handing the two their menus. "Here are your menus. Just holler when you're ready. Until then, help yourself to some of our famous breadsticks."

"Ooh, thanks!" White Topaz said as she picked up a breadstick. "So, how can you possibly make bread into a stick? Is there an actual stick inside or what?"

"Look, I don't care how it's made; just enjoy your night already!" Earl yelled and tried to storm off, but Jasper wasn't taking this lightly. Reaching her hand out to grab Earl by his necktie, the quartz pulled the snotty waiter towards her as Jasper got out of her seat to confront her.

"Pardon me, sir, but I don't appreciate your tone." Jasper declared angrily, much to the waiter's shock. "Look, I know we got off on the wrong foot since we destroyed this place not too long ago, but if it weren't for us, this place would no longer exist!" she roared in Earl's face. "So please, I implore you to be more respectful, or I'll make sure to smash your head to pieces and make it the next dinner special!"

"OKAY, OKAY! I'M SORRY!" Earl cried out while erratically shaking his head. "I'll be a good waiter, just don't kill me, please!"

"Jasper, settle down!" White Topaz exclaimed as her date dropped Earl to the ground, and he hurried off in fright. "Geez, didn't I tell you that threatening people on our big night isn't necessary?"

"I'm sorry. It's just that these humans should be more grateful for what we've done!" Jasper apologized before she picked up the menu. "So, what would you like?"

"But then again, we did tear Beach City apart to save it." White Topaz replied while looking through her menu. "Hm, I think I'll take a plate of sauteed crab claws with a strawberry sunrise on the side."

"I hear that goes great without ice." Jasper replied. "I'll go with shrimp fried rice and a Rob Roy." She then did a double take to examine further what she had just ordered. "Who is this Rob Roy? Did he train shrimp to fry rice?"

White Topaz then started giggling at Jasper's confusion. "Oh my gosh, you're so adorably literal!" she laughed. "I'm not sure if shrimp can fry rice, but I can tell you shrimp is pretty yummy!"

"I can tell you've been hanging around Amethyst a lot." Jasper replied. "What, do you have a digestive system now too?"

"You bet!" White Topaz proclaimed proudly. "You should give it a shot! Better than just having food fester for a long time before having to spit it up somewhere."

"And does that mean you also have to po-" Jasper started, but she was fortunately interrupted.

"No, I don't think I'm that far yet." White Topaz cut her orange-skinned date off as Earl sheepishly returned to their table.

"Uh, are you two ready to order?" Earl nervously asked while still trembling in fear of Jasper.

"Oh, yes we are!" White Topaz excitedly answered. "I'll have some sauteed crab claws and a strawberry sunrise, no ice. Ooh, and one of those tiny umbrellas!"

"I'll have the shrimp fried rice and a Rob Roy." Jasper added before handing her menu over to Earl. "And make it snappy, will ya?!"

"Oh yes, right away, ma'am!" Earl submissively answered as he took the menus and speed-walked away, leaving the two Gems to continue talking.

"Jasper, you're still making a scene here." White Topaz whispered to Jasper as she discovered many restaurant patrons beginning to stare at them. "And I think we're starting to attract some attention."

"Good, we deserve it after all we've done to PROTECT YOU ALL FROM TOTAL DESTRUCTION!" Jasper replied, raising her voice as she finished her sentence for everyone to hear before she sat down again. "Well, what more do you want? Are you not entertained?"

"Hey, uh, I got a question for you." A middle-aged man having an anniversary dinner with his wife sheepishly declared. "Could you please sit on my face?"

"Lynn!" the man's wife gasped in shock.

"Come on, Bobbi, can you blame me?!" Lynn tried justifying himself to his wife.

"Well, this got real awkward quick." White Topaz muttered to herself as Earl returned with their meals and drinks.

"Here you go, girls. One helping of sauteed crab legs and a strawberry sunrise for Big White," the waiter proclaimed while serving White Topaz her order before moving onto Jasper. "and some shrimp fried rice with a Rob Roy for the amazon here."

"A what?" Jasper asked as she took a bite of shrimp-fried rice.

"Oh right, you're aliens, so of course you don't know of our Earth culture." Earl rolled his eyes in annoyance. "An amazon is a big, strong, and gorgeous woman, which you are, my dear." He explained the amazon to Jasper while getting on one knee. "Which reminds me, you are free to use me as a footstool while you eat, my love."

"Hey, just because she's beautiful and has big muscles doesn't mean she's yours to lust after!" White Topaz stood in defense of her date before she downed her strawberry sunrise. "Besides, didn't she threaten to kill you earlier?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised how much threats against my safety turn me on." Earl admitted shamelessly. "Would you like me to list off some of my fetishes? I think you'd find some of them quite interesting!"

"Ew, can you please go away already?!" White Topaz yelled as she kicked Earl away, sending him flying into the wall and causing a mounted fish to fall on him.

"Spoilsport." Earl groaned in disgust as he stormed off with the fish taxidermy still clinging to him.

"Well, now that we got that out of the way, bon appetit!" White Topaz declared before she took a crab leg to eat. "Have you ever faced stuff like this back on Homeworld?"

"Indeed, I encountered many suitors during my time living there. And yes, some of them were just as irritating as Earl just now." Jasper admitted while eating some shrimp fried rice.

"You know I can still hear you!" Earl bellowed from afar.

"But regardless, most of them were able to keep their distance." Jasper said as she taste-tested her Rob Roy. "How about you?"

"Maybe not as much as you, but I did get a few admirers myself." White Topaz proclaimed. "Though Black Rutile usually took them out, I honestly did want a chance to get to know them better."

"Well, hopefully, some of them could still be around for you to connect with." Jasper responded. "And speaking of which."

"Did you see how she shut down that waiter?" a nearby man said to his friend. "Man, that was hot!"

"Oh, but what about how her date stood up for her?" the other man answered. "Ooh, if my parents had a micrometer of respect for me, they'd be all over me bringing her home."

"I wonder if the striped one works out." A middle-aged woman said to her pals. "I'd have her snap my neck anytime."

"I want that big marshmallow to protect me at all costs." Another man declared amorously, making White Topaz blush.

"Seriously, when I said I wanted respect from this restaurant, I did not want it like this!" Jasper said in disgust while continuing to eat her food.

"Hey sweetie, just ignore it and keep eating." Paz suggested before she offered her a crab leg. "Want a crab leg?"

"Okay then." Jasp said and took the crab leg to eat. "Hm, tastes like fish."

"That's the idea!" White Topaz exclaimed. "That reminds me, can I have some of that rice?"

"I don't see why not." Jasper agreed as she took a spoonful of rice to feed her lover with.

"Aw, they look so cute together." Yet another voice said. "Why can't we be like that?"

"Because I should've picked a better date." The voice's partner snarked. All this banter at her and Paz's expense was slowly sending Jasper over the edge. While everything inside her said to go wild and tell everyone to shut up, she couldn't bear to spoil what was a pretty good evening so far. So instead of letting her temper get the better of her, Jasper took a deep breath before finishing her rice and taking another sip of Rob Roy.

"Uh, check please." Jasper called out to Earl.

"Oh, are you finished with your meal, ladies?" Earl asked. "It's a shame to see you two go. Our desserts are to die for!"

"It is disappointing we have to leave for me too." White Topaz agreed with Earl. "But my date is getting a little annoyed at everyone making a pass at us."

"Gee, I can't imagine why." Earl smirked with a roll of his eyes, but Jasper gave him another glare while sliding her finger across her neck. "Uh, have a nice rest of your night, you two."

And so, Jasper and White Topaz finally left the restaurant after paying the bill, though they struggled a bit due to their lacking knowledge of Earth currency. Meanwhile, six conspicuously dressed women watching the duo the whole date began talking among themselves in their booth.

"I may have seen it coming, but I'm surprised at how Jasper dealt with all that catcalling." Garnet said to her fellow wingmen.

"Yeah, she'd usually hulk out and go on a rampage." Amethyst replied.

"But still, their evening was nearly spoiled far too many times to count." Pearl remarked fearfully. "White Topaz was so excited about this date too."

"I don't think it was that bad." Peridot stated optimistically. "Their conversation skills were amazing!"

"Plus, their jokes weren't half bad either." Lapis agreed with Peridot. "But I still want to know, is it possible to train a shrimp to fry rice?"

"Have you seen how tiny their limbs are?" Bismuth said. "Getting them to pick up a pan alone would make them the eighth wonder of the world!"

"So Garnet, where do they go from here?" Pearl asked the Gems' de-facto leader.

"I say we follow them and see what happens." Garnet suggested before turning to Earl. "Mr. Earl, we'd like to pay the bill, please."

"You haven't eaten a single thing!" Earl complained to the Crystal Gems. "What was the point of coming here if you didn't order your entire stay?!" But before Earl could get an answer, the Crystal Gems had already left. "Oy, aliens!"

"So infuriating!" Jasper complained to herself as she and White Topaz walked along the beach with the moon hanging above them. Even though Jasper was still angry at the restaurant for all the mistreatment they suffered, White Topaz tried to look on the bright side of things.

"Hey, tonight may have been a little problematic, but you handled things better than I thought you did." White Topaz said to her date. "I almost thought you'd really smash that waiter's head into dinner."

"Yeah, as much as I wanted to do that, I didn't want to ruin our date either." Jasper confessed to White Topaz while taking her hands in hers. "I mean, you were super excited to go out with me tonight, and I was happy to get some time off too. But do you think we could've picked a better place to eat?"

"Maybe." Paz answered. "Maybe on our next date, let's just hang out at Fish Stew Pizza. At least we haven't torn that place to shreds,"

"I'd like that." Jasp smiled. "Besides, I would rather get shattered all over again than disappoint my girlfriend." Jasper then realized too late what she had said as she saw White Topaz stare at her with stars in her eyes and a strange pink blur surrounding her face. "How are you doing that?"

"You just called me girlfriend!" White Topaz squealed happily before giving Jasper the biggest hug she could ever offer. "Hey, you wanna make it official with a little kiss?"

"I swear, it was an accident, please!" Jasper was quickly cut off as soon as White Topaz planted a kiss on her lips, but she quickly accepted it and started kissing her back, all while the Crystal Gems watched over them from afar.

"Aw, I'm so happy for them!" Pearl cooed in delight at the couple.

"Who would've guessed Jasper was a big softie deep down?" Lapis wondered aloud.

"Good to see this future came to pass." Garnet declared with a smile.

"HEY! YOU KNOW WE CAN SEE YOU!" Jasper yelled at the Gems as she and White Topaz stopped kissing to notice their wingmen spying on them.

"Come on, don't you want us to feel proud?!" Bismuth hollered back.

"You can do whatever, but maybe not watch us like a bunch of creeps next time?" White Topaz suggested.

"Yeah, she's right. Let's get out of here." Amethyst agreed before leaving the other Gems.

"AND IS PERIDOT SERIOUSLY FILMING US RIGHT NOW?!" Jasper continued yelling, bringing attention to the little green Gem filming the couple with a video recorder.

"Come on, Peridot, we're leaving." Pearl grumpily ordered Peridot while dragging her away by the collar.

"Aw, but I wanted to save this as a fond memory!" Peridot complained while the rest of the Gems left, leaving Jasper and White Topaz alone again at last.

"So, now what do we do?" White Topaz asked Jasper.

"I don't know." Jasper replied. "Wanna look at the stars together?"

"I'd love that." White Topaz smiled sweetly, and for the rest of the night, she and Jasper spent their time together stargazing as girlfriend and girlfriend.

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 4: The Big Lazuli

"Thank you, miss, come again!" the owner of the arts and crafts store said to Lapis as she left the shop with two shopping bags full of art supplies for her Little Homeschool class. "You're my best customer, by the way!"

"You're welcome, mister!" Lapis replied to the shopkeeper as she walked through Beach City with her purchased art tools. "Hopefully, this should be enough to last us nine more weeks, at most." She muttered to herself while looking through one of her bags. "Let's see, got some cutting tools, a couple of sets of calipers, texture combs, ooh, a hot wire cutter, that could be useful."

"Ey, you!" a man's voice yelled for Lapis, stopping her from counting as she looked around for the source of the voice. "Yeah, I'm talking to you, lady!"

"Uh, who said that?" Lapis asked aloud before two muscular pounced on her. One had a gray tank top, while his sidekick was in a sleeveless collared shirt. "What's going on?!"

"Got you, Tara!" the man in the tank-top yelled triumphantly while trying to restrain Lapis. "Once we tell your pops, he's gonna be all over giving us whatever we want!"

"Who's Tara?! My name's Lapis!" Lapis yelled as she tried to wriggle free from her captors. "Now let me go!"

"Hey, hey, stop stop stop!" the collared shirt-wearing man urged his partner. "I don't think this is the one! She's all blue and has a rock glued to her back! I think she might be one of those Gems from the news!"

"Wait, a Gem?!" the tank-top man asked before he came to the same realization as his cohort. "Oh geez, we got the wrong one!"

"Uh doy, I wonder what made you come to that conclusion?" Lapis snarked as she was let go and spread her water wings. "And who's Tara, anyways?"

"You know, Tara Lazuli." The collared shirt guy answered. "Anyone with a phone and at least one social media account knows who she is. Influencer, does exercise videos, really cute and fit. Looks a lot like you."

"That reminds me, what's your name, babe?" the tank-top man asked Lapis.

"My name's Lapis Lazuli. Now goodbye." Lapis grumbled before she flew away to tell someone about what she had just encountered.

"Well, it looks like we blew it." The tank-top man declared before angrily turning to his companion while crossing his arms. "I'm blaming you for this."

"Oh come on, you were the one who thought she was Tara!" the collared shirt man exclaimed. "Why you gotta blame this on me?!" However, he quickly stopped himself before sighing. "Whatever, let's go tell the boss what happened."

"So wait, what happened?" Teal Zircon asked Lapis a few minutes later once the ocean Gem had returned to Little Homeworld.

"A pair of thugs assaulted me while I left the art store and kept calling me Tara." Lapis explained again to Teal and Peridot. "It's because they think I'm some influencer or something and want to kidnap her."

"Oh, I think they want Tara Lazuli!" Peridot declared before pulling out her tablet to show Lapis who she was talking about. "I'd like you to meet Tara Lazuli, professional online influencer and health, fitness & lifestyle expert!" Just as the two thugs proclaimed, Tara Lazuli looked like a dead ringer for Lapis, only she had a fair tan, short brown hair, amber eyes, and was clad in a sports bra and yoga pants that could pass off for Lapis's clothes.

"Hey, look, you got a twin!" Teal exclaimed to Lapis. "It's weird how you look exactly alike."

"Is that why those guys wanted me?" Lapis wondered before she started playing one of Tara's videos.

"Hey, guys, Tara here again to teach you the best ways to pull some pretty hard yoga poses without pulling a muscle!" Tara introduced herself to her viewers before assuming a raven stance. "Now, we're going to do the raven pose first."

"Wow, she looks pretty cute." Lapis remarked on Tara's appearance. "But why do those two guys want to kidnap her?"

"It's because she happens to be very connected." Peridot continued explaining before presenting a wiki article talking about Tara. "Her father is Jeffrey Lazuli, the single biggest manufacturer of bowling balls in the entire country! Can you believe it?!"

"I can't believe it either!" Teal added just as excitedly. "I wanna meet them now! Can we, can we please?!"

"Yeah, I think this Jeff guy has some explaining to do." Lapis responded. "Where do they live?"

"Oh yeah, that's really easy to find out." Peridot declared before she tapped on a link in the article that led her to the city where the Lazuli family lived. "They live in Snakewater, Montana, the dinosaur capital of these United States. Famous for the numerous fossils you can find around there, this city has served as the inspiration for many children and adults looking to profit from them alike."

"Neat. Maybe we can pick up some souvenirs to show everyone along the way." Lapis suggested.

"Well, what are we waiting for?!" TZ cheered while hopping on Lapis's back. "Let's see those dinosaurs!"

"Hey, we're seeing Mr. Lazuli first!" Lapis declared while picking up Peridot in her arms. "And then maybe we can see dinosaurs if we have time left."

"Yay!" Teal cried happily as Lapis finally took off for Snakewater with the two Gems in tow. "I wanna be a puh-terodactyl!"

Within mere hours, Lapis had quickly flown herself, Peridot, and Teal to the Montana town of Snakewater, famous for hosting the discoveries of numerous dinosaurs over the years in the badlands not too far outside of the city, which many had dubbed a "Jurassic park," of sorts. As such, tourism in Snakewater was primarily centered around these archaeological finds and was big business for many a visiting shyster or big-name entrepreneur who wanted to profit off the town.

"Well, girls, welcome to Snakewater." Peridot announced when Lapis finally landed in the middle of a dig site in the badlands. "Drink it all the scientific breakthroughs while you can, guys. We got a job to do."

"Aw, but I wanted to see dinosaurs!" Teal whined as Lapis took her by the hand.

"We'll get to see them later, unless you want to keep acting like a big baby." Lapis complained to TZ, forcing the childish Zircon to keep quiet.

"Lookin' for someone, you three?" a man in a cowboy hat with a thick Texan accent asked the three Gems as he leaned against a signpost pointing to Snakewater.

"Oh, hello there, sir." Teal nervously asked the stranger.

"Excuse me, but we came here to look for Jeffrey Lazuli." Lapis said to the buckaroo. "Can you help us find him?"

"Oh, Jeffrey Lazuli?" the cowboy replied to Lapis. "He lives on the side of Rosebud Mountain; you can't miss it!" He then pointed towards an enormous mountain with an opulent mansion built onto the side of it, and in the distance, one could see a cockatoo flying away too. "A real beauty, ain't it? I hear it's great to sled on in the wintertime."

"The mansion?" Peridot asked.

"Uh, sure, why not?" the cowboy shrugged. "Just be careful though. He and his fam have been targeted by some real nasty people lately, so best to keep yourself from acting too suspicious."

"Yeah, that's why we're here." Peridot revealed to the cowboy. "Lapis was confused for Mr. Lazuli's daughter, and we want compensation for this incident."

"Yeah, I hear this one varmint has really been wanting to kidnap Tara for some reason." The cowboy continued musing. "Why not try asking the big man himself for tips?"

"Already on it! Thanks!" Lapis answered before she picked up her two passengers again and flew off towards the Lazuli family's villa on Rosebud Mountain.

"Heh heh, those three are in for a world of pain." The cowboy chuckled to himself before walking away and slowly growing a rattling tail from his back.

As expected for someone as wealthy as Jeffrey Lazuli, his mansion impractically installed on the side of Rosebud Mountain was naturally very refined. A row of rare trees lined up in rows on both sides of the path leading to the manor's entrance greeted Lapis, Peridot, and Teal as they landed on the Lazulis' estate. Cockatoos had a massive birdhouse to call home, the high stone fence was decorated with dinosaur bones, and in the center was a platinum statue of a bowling ball on top of a massive water fountain.

"Wow, the most low-class of Gems could only dream of residing in a place like this!" Peridot gasped in amazement at the estate around her. "I simply must tell Bismuth once we get back to Little Homeworld, she'd flip seeing this residence!"

"Guys, look, dinosaurs!" Teal Zircon cried excitedly as the dinosaur fossils embedded within the walls of the fence. "Quick, someone take a picture of me with one of these!"

"Okay, TZ, but just a few, and then we'll get back to our mission." Peridot rolled her eyes in defeat before beginning to take a few photos of Teal posing with the Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton behind her while Lapis started walking towards the entrance of the mansion. Once she knocked on the front door, a butler in a suit with his nose pointed up was there to greet her.

"Greetings, visitor. I am Hoffman, the personal servant of Mr. Jeffrey Lazuli and his family." The butler introduced himself to Lapis. "Are you here for business or pleasure?"

"Uh, business, I guess." Lapis shrugged awkwardly. "We came here from Beach City because we want to see your boss. These two guys mistook me for his daughter, and now I want to know why."

"I suppose by "we," you mean you and those two over there?" Hoffman pointed to TZ still getting pictures taken with the T-rex skeleton built into the fence by Peridot. "Please gather your companions and follow me."

"I'll get right on it." Lapis obeyed before calling out to the duo. "Hey guys, come on in! Just be sure not to make a mess of things!"

"In a minute, Lapis, Teal wants as many pictures as possible." Peridot answered, quickly getting tired of having to take so many photos. "Seriously, TZ, isn't fifty of them just enough?"

"Okay, just take two or three more, and then we're done." TZ offered, to which Peridot silently agreed before putting away her tablet. The two then quickly joined Lapis and Hoffman at the front door, with Hoffman ready to show the three Gems around the estate.

"Ooh, fancy butler man!" Teal oohed in amazement at Hoffman.

"Excuse me human servant, we've come here because we request an audience with your superior." Peridot explained to the butler. "You see, there was a little incident earlier tod-"

"No need to repeat, little one. Your friend has already explained everything." Hoffman interrupted Peridot as he turned on his heel and walked inside. "Right this way now, miladies! And try not to make a mess of the place. I just cleaned."

Just like the outside of the mansion, the inside was positively extravagant with bowling ball memorabilia decorating the foyer of the building as Hoffman marched indoors with the three Gems. However, the thing that stuck out to the trio the most was the portrait of a heavyset, aging man triumphantly holding up a bowling ball while standing atop a pile of fallen bowling pins.

"Oh my stars, this place is even better on the inside!" Peridot gasped in awe. "My compliments to the humans that constructed this house."

"Yes, this mansion's construction dates all the way back to the late 19th century, and was completed on January 8th, 1935." Hoffman explained to the three Gems. "The birthdate of a certain king of rock and roll, if you can believe it."

"I can believe it, uh-huh-huh," Teal replied, imitating the King just as the butler led her, Lapis, and Peridot to a massive pair of doors. Behind them was the man from the painting sitting at his desk in a grand office.

"Mr. Lazuli, you have guests that'd like to speak with you about your recent kidnapping situation." Hoffman announced to his boss, causing the man to turn around in his chair and walk towards the Gems.

"Thank you, Hoffman. I'll take it from here." Jeffrey Lazuli said to his butler while stopping in front of Lapis. "And who are you supposed to be? My daughter's long-lost sister?" he snarked at the Gem with a dry, hoarse laugh. "But enough jokes. What brings you here, Bluebell Girl?"

"I came here because I was mistaken for your daughter, Mr. Lazuli." Lapis said. "My name's Lapis Lazuli, and these are my friends, Peridot and Teal Zircon."

"Greetings, Mr. Lazuli." Peridot added.

"Nice rug you got here!" Teal commented on the rug beneath the four while hopping up and down on it.

"Thank you, really ties the room together." Jeff accepted the Zircon's compliment before returning to his desk. "Okay, so you're a Lazuli, I'm a Lazuli, that's terrific." He declared while taking a seat. "Now, what can I do for you three?"

"Well, sir, it's about these two thugs that assaulted me back home in Beach City." Lapis explained while following Jeffrey and sitting down in a chair across from him. "They want to kidnap your daughter and thought I was her because we look so alike."

"Yes, I am very well aware of that, kiddo." Jeffrey proclaimed. "My baby girl Tara's been targeted by numerous shady folks for quite a while now. Nihilists, creepy hitmen, crazy car salespeople, runaway chain gangs, they're all crazy characters, the lot of them! Thankfully me, Tara, and my wife Maude, who's out on business right now, were able to outfox them on every turn, but each dubious party keeps getting more desperate than the last."

"So what can we do now?" Peridot asked the bowling ball magnate.

"I mean, we could try calling the cops." Jeffrey shrugged. "But there's no telling where these freaks are coming from."

"Wait, I got an idea." Lapis said. "Since Tara and I look so alike, why don't we just use that to fool the kidnappers so they can hopefully never bother you guys again?"

"Hm, not sure how that can work, but okay." Jeffrey mused on Lapis's plan. "If you want to see Tara, she's out by the pool filming for her next video. Hoffman can point you in the right direction if you want."

"No thanks, I can fly so I can see everything from above." Lapis declined the offer before she found a skylight to fly through and get a better view of the mansion from above. Just as Jeffrey stated, Lapis quickly found Tara doing some yoga poses on a mat by the massive swimming pool and dove down to greet her. "Uh, hello there. You must be Tara Lazuli, right?"

"One sec, followers, seems like I got a surprise guest!" Tara exclaimed. "And we're twinning too! Say hi to my viewers, visitor!"

"Uh, hello, people on the other side." Lapis nervously greeted Tara's followers. "Uh, Tara, my name's Lapis Lazuli. And I want to speak with you because I was confused for you."

"How about we put that on hold so you can join me?" Tara suggested. "Would be great to have some company on my vids."

"Well, I don't see why not." Lapis shrugged before Hoffman readily tossed her a yoga mat.

"Okay, gang, we're going to show my new friend here some of the basics." Tara said to her viewers. "Now then, let's start with a tree pose, or Vikshrasana, as they say in Sanskrit."

"The what?" Lapis asked as she tried to copy her human duplicate's pose.

"If you'd like, I can also teach you Sanskrit as well." Tara suggested to Lapis. "For example, Vikshrasana means tree pose. And for our next pose, we'll do the prayer pose, or Pranamasana." She then brought her leg down and lowered her clasped hands towards her chest. "Now you try."

"Yeah, the ari-ari-ari-ari-arrivederci." Lapis failed astronomically at saying the Sanskrit name of the prayer pose as she continued copying Tara. "I am so sorry I messed that up so bad."

"Eh, you'll get it eventually." Tara replied nonchalantly. "Last off; I'd like to try a basic meditation pose, or dhyana." The two girls sat down with their legs crossed and their hands clasped together again. "Now then, deep breath in and out."

"Hey, this is actually pretty relaxing." Lapis said in between breaths. "But that shouldn't distract you from the fact that your life is in danger! That's why I'm here!"

Tara's chill exterior broke as she heeded Lapis's words and turned to her phone. "Uh, sorry everyone, looks like we gotta cut this short! Remember to like and subscribe!" After ending the recording, Tara picked up her phone and turned to face Lapis. "You want to help me?"

"Yeah, and I got a plan!" Lapis exclaimed. "We're going to be in the same room together, so those kidnappers will have no idea which one of us to take, and they'll be too confused to even think about going after you again!"

"I have no idea how that could work, but I'm willing to try anything once." Tara agreed shakily. "Still, these guys are really crafty and will do anything to get rich."

"It's worth a try, right?" Lapis said with a reassuring smile as she put a blue hand on the influencer's shoulder. Tara then responded by putting her hand on Lapis's shoulder.

"Okay, boss, we've reached Rosebud Mountain." The kidnapper in the collared shirt said over the phone to his boss as he and his tanktop-clad partner scaled the mountainside to the Lazuli family mansion. "That girl will be ours!"

"Uh, why are we walking like this?" the tank-top man asked his comrade. "You know we can just climb the mountain trail and scale the fence, right?"

"I know, old chum, but this is way cooler." The collared man replied as the two thugs got closer to the mansion. "Almost there!"

"I wonder what's he gonna do with the girl?" the tank-top man asked again. "What, does he plan on hijacking her account somehow?"

"No, we're gonna make her fam pay the ransom, and mark my words, we're gonna make them pay up big time!" the collared shirt man declared with an evil laugh as the duo made it over the fence and snuck into the large mansion. "Just find any person that looks remotely feminine, along with maybe a few trinkets that they probably won't notice are gone."

"Ten-four, good buddy!" the tank-top man exclaimed before he started shoveling up various small objects that would be easy to miss. During his hunt, however, he came across a sitting room where two identical-looking females sat together, their hair informing him that one of them could be Tara Lazuli. "Hey, I think I found her!"

"Great work, buddy, now let's grab her and get outta here!" the collared shirt man exclaimed as he raced to find the two women, only to realize what his buddy had found. "Hey, wait a second. One of them could be that blue girl from earlier."

"Well, which one should we take?" the tank-topped man asked.

"I don't care; let's just take them both and see what happens!" the collared shirt man exclaimed before the duo pulled out some bags and stashed Lapis and Tara inside before escaping. By the time Peridot and Jeffrey burst into the room to see what happened, they were too late.

"Lapis!" Peridot shrieked in horror.

"Oh no, Tara!" Jeffrey added, just as worried for his baby girl. "Where did those creeps take her?!" Just then, he noticed a slip of paper that he figured must've fallen out of someone's pocket and picked it up to read. "Dear Mr. Lazuli, if you wish to see your daughter again, we request that you give us approximately one hundred billion dollars as payment. If you refuse, we'll force our prisoners to try and raise the money for themselves, whether through certain tasks or being sold off."

"Sold off?!" Peridot yelled in a panic as she jumped up and clung to Jeffrey's suit. "We must do something to raise the money! I'll do anything! Anything!"

"Calm down, Peridot. I'm sure we can just forward the cash and maybe bribe them into leaving us alone." Jeffrey assured the tiny Gem while grabbing her by the back of her outfit and putting her down. "I mean, how did you think this plan was going to go, like the Prince and the Pauper?"

"So you're willing to admit defeat, just like that?!" Peridot began yelling at the bowling ball mogul while bouncing up and down. "I have an idea of my own! I shall sell your belongings and put all my earnings in a briefcase to give to the girls' captors!"

"You know, kiddo, I think that's an even better idea." Jeffrey agreed with Peridot with a fatherly laugh. "I'm sure I got a few things lying around that I don't need anymore. For example, I got a few carpets that don't tie any rooms together anymore."

"Yes, yes! Give me more to sell!" Peridot cackled triumphantly when the duo heard the door open, followed by Teal Zircon stepping into the room with a plate of cookies in hand.

"Uh, what did I miss?" Teal asked with a mouth full of baked goods.

Lapis and Tara were dropped out of the bags by the two kidnappers onto a couch into a dark, dingy room at the thugs' hideout. Immediately as she got up, Lapis tried to fly away, only to discover that a special electronic device restrained her wings. "Don't even think about getting out, waterbender." The tank-top man declared. "We smuggled that restraining tech from the guvament to keep a leash on you, so you and Tara are our property now!"

"Don't think you've got us just yet!" Tara cried rebelliously. "My daddy will call the cops on you two, and your asses will be grass!"

"I wouldn't count on it." The collared shirt man responded. "Chances are he'll be forced to pay the ransom, unless you two would like to do it yourselves."

"Oh no, don't tell me how I think you will force us to pay." Lapis shivered in fear of the implications of that statement, possibilities running through her head of the debauchery that she and Tara could be forced to do.

"If you're thinking we're gonna make you do illegal things, that's not entirely true." The man in the collared shirt continued. "We're just gonna make you work for peanuts 'round here until you raise enough green to get out."

"Oh, thank goodness, I thought we would do some super messed-up stuff to get the money." Tara sighed in relief. "So tell us what we need to do first."

The two men looked at each other in silence before returning to the girls and presenting some cleaning supplies. "First, you should clean this place up." The tank-top-wearing man declared. "You would not believe how filthy this can get, and the boss likes a nice, clean ship! Now hop to it!"

Back in Snakewater, Peridot had finally raised enough ransom money by selling Mr. Lazuli's unneeded belongings to win back Lapis and Tara's freedom. "Yes, who would've guessed selling so many old rugs, tea sets, playing cards, and all sorts of garbage would sell for billions online?! We're rich, I tell you!"

"Correction, you're rich." Jeffrey said with pride at Peridot's financial victory. "I'm already stinking rich myself."

"So, now what do we do?" Teal Zircon asked while licking her lips at seeing such a vast amount of money in one briefcase. "And how much do you think will be left for the rest of us?"

"Don't you worry, I got a friend named Roseanne who can arrange a meeting with that gang to patch things up and give them the money." Jeffrey smiled as Peridot prepared to leave the house with the cash, only for a stray bluejay to flutter in and grab the briefcase on its little feet. "Ooh, talk about yanking the chain."

"No, come back here!" Peridot screamed in despair before she began pursuing the bird that stole her hard-earned money. "Please give back my moolah; it's the only way I can save my friend!"

"Hey, wait for me!" Teal Zircon cried as she started following Peridot and their runaway money. "Don't forget I'm a part of this adventure too!"

"Those two really are determined; I'll tell you what." Jeffrey said to Hoffman.

"I guess that's Gems for you." Hoffman replied curtly. "Didn't one of them save your father's life in a war? Which war was that again?"

"I think World War II, I believe." Jeffrey answered. "I'm in the mood for something to drink now."

"Would some sparkling cider suffice, sir?" Hoffman suggested.

"The Lazuli abides." Jeffrey agreed with a grin before turning to face the window again. "Oh Tara, my dear, please be safe."

Peridot and Teal's chase for the money started taking them all over Snakewater and catching the attention of many of its residents. Torinos were toppled over, wise-cracking store clerks were pushed out of the way, and the pair slid through pipes in pursuit of the bird.

"Hey, is that a Gem?" a man on the street pointed out Peridot.

"Follow that bird, you two!" a woman cheered the duo on.

"Yes, you are all very inspirational, humans, but please compliment me later!" Peridot said to the Snakewater residents as she and Teal got closer to the bluejay. "I think we're getting close! Quick TZ, throw me!"

"Way ahead of you!" Teal obeyed before picking up Peridot. "Now, what did that video say again? Oh right, YEET!" She then tossed Peridot at the bird with all her might and almost succeeded in helping her finally retrieve the briefcase. However, Peridot's hopes would be dashed when the bluejay dropped the suitcase and caused Peridot to get a face full of the bird before she landed at the bowling shoe-clad feet of a Latino man holding the briefcase.

"Oh, my head." Peridot moaned as she got up. "Dangit, Teal, you see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps?!" After cursing Teal for the accident, she then turned to the man holding her briefcase. "Excuse me, sir, but I request that you hand that briefcase of money over to me at once. It is for a most urgent situation?"

"Uh, question mi amigo, you said this briefcase is full of money, right?" the Latino man asked Peridot. "How much exactly?"

"Approximately one hundred billion dollars." Peridot answered when she realized what she had just said. "Oh no, you're not going to steal it, are you?!"

"You crazy? I'm not that malo, shorty!" the man chuckled. "But if you want it back, you'll have to beat me in a little game of bowling. But be warned, I am known as the Deity on the lanes, because I am a living god of bowling!"

"Such pride will be your fall, my friend!" Peridot snickered in response. "Okay, Mr. Deity, I accept your challenge!"

"Ooh, are you gonna go bowling?!" Teal Zircon exclaimed before she started whispering in Peridot's ear. "I think you better watch out. This guy brags about being called The Deity for a reason. If we pull any crazy stuff on him, we flash a piece out on the lanes; he'll take it away from us and do who knows what horrible things he can do."

"You know I'm still standing right here, chicas." The Deity told the Gems. "Follow me, babes. I spend most of my days at Big Bills Bowls, the hottest bowling alley in town, I tell ya."

"We'll see about that." Peridot glared at the Deity as she and Teal followed him to the local bowling alley.

Meanwhile, Lapis and Tara had been working their butts off in doing tasks for their captors in the hopes that they'd get enough money to be set free. Cleaning their lair, dusting shelves, vacuuming, scratching backs, and helping them make meals, the two women had dedicated their time to serving the two thugs so they could finally be released.

"Whoo, I've broken many a sweat before, but this really takes the cake!" Tara panted in exhaustion just as she finished scrubbing the bathroom. "How are you doing?"

"Only got a couple of hundred dollars so far." Lapis answered while presenting a wad of hundred-dollar bills. "I swear, this is going to take forever! Are we even sure we're raising money to pay our own ransom?"

"Not really; we just like kidnapping people to do our dirty work!" one of the men exclaimed from the other room. "We just like being lazy!"

"Well, this has all been a waste of our time." Lapis grumbled. "I wonder what's taking your parents and Peridot so long with the ransom money? Hey, that reminds me, Tara. I know about your dad, but what about your mother? Where is she?"

"Well, she's away on business a lot, leaving me alone with Dad whenever she leaves." Tara revealed sadly. "My dad is one of the best you could ever ask for, but he can be a little distant sometimes due to work. I just sometimes wish I could have some actual friends around. Not just my mom and dad, their friends, their friend's children, and all my online followers."

"Wow, I don't think I ever saw this side of you before." Lapis muttered in shock while reminiscing on how lonely she felt during her first years on Earth. "Well, would it be okay if I became your friend? I know what it's like to be alone in the world myself, you know."

"Really?!" Tara squealed in delight. "HUGS!" Tara wrapped Lapis in a big hug, and Lapis returned the affection, sealing the two's new friendship. "Oh man, there's so much I could teach you! Maybe we can do more yoga together, I could teach you Sanskrit, and maybe you could show me around where you live too!"

"I'd love that." Lapis agreed before they heard a banging on the wall.

"Hey, did I say you could take a break and share a wholesome bonding moment?!" the tank-topped kidnapper yelled. "Get back to work!"

"Fine, whatever." The lookalikes groaned in unison as they picked up their cleaning tools and returned to their duties. "Come on, guys, where are you?"

"And another strike for The Deity!" an announcer at Big Bills Bowls declared as Peridot's new bowling rival scored another point over her. "Now, how can his little green rival possibly compete with that?!"

"I can't believe this! How can he be this good?!" Peridot complained as she took off her bowling shoe and prepared to throw it somewhere, only for Teal to stop her friend from doing so. "What now, Teal?"

"Let's try and look on the bright side here." Teal assured Peridot. "You know how in those sports movies, all seems lost, but the underdog manages to get a victory over the big shot in the end? I bet you can see where it goes from there."

"Whatever, that's, like, your opinion, TZ." Peridot replied as she began making plans for the next inning. "Now then, there should be some kind of variable we're missing here that we could use to win."

"What's a variable?" Teal asked curiously while toying with a bowling ball.

"Look, rockies, if you're trying to make plans on what to do, then I suggest you give up now." The Deity bragged to Peridot and Teal. "Dios mio, man. Yours truly is going to SCREW YOU UP!"

"Ha, you may have skill, Mr. Deity, but I've got something just as amazing!" Peridot boasted before sticking out her hand and causing the mechanism bringing the bowling pins down to start shaking. "Let's see you come up to par with that!"

"If I could right now, I could flip you off in four different languages." The Deity continued boasting. "I could flip you off in American, French, Japanese, or Italian style. Yet all of them should warn you that I'm not to be messed with!"

"Yeah, we get it already!" Teal groaned, having had enough of their opponent's showboating. "But I still don't know something. Why do you want our money, anyhow?"

"Oh, that?" The Deity chuckled while looking over his shoulder at the briefcase he stole. "I just need that for people in my village back home. I mean, one hundred billion dollars! You have any idea how much food that can buy?!"

"So that's it, you're only doing this for money?" Peridot said with utter disappointment in her voice. "All this bragging so that you could use our money?"

"Hey, come on, it's for a good cause!" The Deity exclaimed. "I guarantee it. Would I lie?" He then glanced to the side, confirming to Peridot that he was indeed lying. "Oh, dear me, would you look at the time? I really gotta go!"

"Oh no, he's running off with the cash!" Teal exclaimed as the Deity did precisely that. "We have to stop him for the good of our friends!"

"Well, what are we waiting for?!" Peridot yelled. "After him!" With Teal Zircon being dragged along, both figuratively and literally, for the ride, Peridot ran out of the bowling alley in hot pursuit of the Deity as her bowling rival made his escape in a Torino. "Oh no, you don't!" After summoning a dumpster for her and Teal to ride in, Peridot used her ferrokinesis to keep it moving as she chased after the Deity in his car.

Back at the kidnappers' lair, Lapis and Tara had been spending time bonding some more during their forced servitude to the two men, sharing stories about their lives, and having fun together along the way. "So then I said, "It was an endless, crushing darkness! Wet and bleak and suffering!" Man, I was such a drama queen back then!" Lapis laughed nostalgically. "But I had good reasons to say that, though."

"Dang, how much did Jasper torment you?" Tara asked.

"A lot." Lapis answered. "Then I tortured her back; it was all a big, vicious cycle." Just then, the door opened again. "Okay, what do you want this time?"

"Oh no, I believe you've mistaken me for my associates, Tank, and Collar." A different man declared as he stepped into the room to confront Lapis and Tara. "Call me Mr. Shreds, a pleasure to meet you both." Mr. Shreds in question was a middle-aged man with slowly graying hair, though he seemed to keep himself in better shape than Jeffrey Lazuli and wore a similar-looking suit too. "And what's this? Are you one of those Gems I have heard so much about?"

"Um, yeah." Lapis asked nervously as Mr. Shreds got a good look at her from some rather concerning angles. "What do you want with me and especially Tara?"

"Me? Well, I just wanna get rich, for crying out loud!" Mr. Shreds explained. "Doesn't everyone want to make an honest profit sometimes?" He gave Lapis another leer. "Especially you, bluey. Do you know how much a Gem would make me on the black market?!"

"Now hang on a second, boss!" Collar exclaimed as he and Tank burst into the room. "I think you might need to step back a little!"

"What for?" Mr. Shreds asked his two goons. "Bring these girls to the shipping container outside! We're going to make a fortune, boys!"

"Sorry, but I'm afraid we won't be including you in the pay." Tank proclaimed. "We're gonna use them to get rich, and you won't have any part in it!"

"Where did this come from?!" Mr. Shreds roared in anger before he was presented with a briefcase.

"Here, have some cash on us to make you feel better." Collar said as Mr. Shreds took the briefcase, unaware of his subordinates' evil grins as he shook the suitcase.

"Hm, something isn't right here." Mr. Shreds pondered when he heard a car roar outside. "What was that? Who started their car?"

"Wait, that can't be!" Lapis cried out in joy, hoping that Peridot had finally come to save her. She was right, but it wasn't just Peridot that crashed through the wall of the building, but a fancy Torino driven by a frenzied Hispanic man holding a briefcase full of cash, followed by Peridot and Teal Zircon riding a dumpster.

"WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON ANYMORE?!" Mr. Shreds yelled before the car suddenly ran him, Collar, and Tank over and crashed into a nearby wall while the Deity began scrambling out of the vehicle.

"Come on, where is that briefcase?!" the Deity mumbled to himself before discovering the briefcase Mr. Shreds was given. "Not sure if this is the one, but I'll take anything I can get!" With that, the Deity ran off with the second briefcase while Peridot ran towards the Torino to reclaim the money she made to buy back Lapis and Tara's freedom.

"Uh, mind telling me who you're supposed to be?" Mr. Shreds asked before the briefcase full of money was dropped on his chest.

"The Gem who's going to buy back my friends from criminal scum like you!" Peridot declared pridefully.

"And I'm helping!" Teal Zircon added.

"Well, thanks for all the money, greenback." Mr. Shreds thanked Peridot while glaring at Collar and Tank. "But the truth is, I was gonna send you all on this wild goose chase anyways because seeing everyone in a frenzy just makes me laugh."

"So wait, you would've let us out anyways, but you kept us around for laughs?" Tara asked.

"Oh no, I was going to ask for ransom regardless." Mr. Shreds revealed solemnly. "But hey, at least we all had fun anyhow!"

Minutes later, the police arrived to take Mr. Shreds and his two cronies away while Jeffrey was notified of the recovery of his daughter and immediately rushed to the scene with Hoffman by his side.

"Daddy!" Tara cheered as Jeffrey scooped up his daughter in his arms.

"Oh, my baby girl, I'm so happy you're safe!" Jeffrey laughed heartfully. "Did those monsters do anything to you? Do I have to give you birth control pills? Please tell me you still have an organ or two intact!"

"Relax, Mr. Lazuli, Tara's fine." Lapis assured Jeffrey. "Those guys just forced us to do chores in exchange for money we'll give them so we can get out, nothing too nasty. Well, except for almost being sold on the black market, whatever that is."

"Hello, Tara?" a woman around Jeffrey's age and clad in a grayish brown pantsuit asked for Tara. "I've heard what happened from your father, and I just had to rush over from my latest meeting to see if you're okay!"

"Mom!" Tara squealed in delight as she and her father let Maude Lazuli in on the group hug. "I can't believe it; we're all together again!"

"And who is this supposed to be?" Tara's mother Maude asked while locking eyes with Lapis for the first time. "For some reason, she looks just like you, Tara."

"My name's Lapis Lazuli, no relation." Lapis introduced herself to the matriarch of the Lazuli family. "Your daughter's new friend."

"Aw, how sweet." Maude replied and shook Lapis's hand. "Now come along now, everyone. This has been a long day for everyone."

"One second, guys." Tara said before Jeff put his daughter down and turned her to face Lapis. "Lapis, thanks for being my friend today. I hope we can see each other again soon."

"You're welcome. Just know that you're never alone in this world, okay?" Lapis replied before the two girls hugged each other goodbye.

"Uh, did we miss anything?" Teal asked as the Lazuli family left, while the Lapis they knew waved farewell.

"Eh, screw it, this has been a weird day anyways." Peridot responded. "Come on, Lapis, let's go bowling."

"Okay." Lapis replied as the three walked away when Teal realized something.

"Hey, I think we forgot something." Teal declared.

"If you forgot, then it wasn't important." Peridot responded curtly.

"Yeah, you're right." Teal concluded.

"AHAHAHA, nothing bad ever happens to the Deity!" The Deity cackled as he fled the scene with the briefcase he stole from Mr. Shreds in hand. "That little green bean may be smart, but I'm way faster with my fingers! Now let's see what we got here."

Unfortunately for the Deity, rather than the hundred billion dollars Peridot had claimed was in the briefcase, a large pile of ash suddenly blew in his face, causing the Deity to temporarily go blind. "AGH, ASHES! ASHES!" he yelled in surprise. "I'M FALLING DOWN!"

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 5: But Wait, There's More!

"UP YOURS, DELMARVA!" a commercial loudly insulted the viewers as the Crystal Gems watched the taunting advertisement. "If you're dumb enough to buy some refrigerators this weekend, you're stupid enough to come on over to Big Kim's Appliances! Overly expensive products, absolute garbage, fees!" she bellowed while the commercial demonstrated how crummy the store's products were. "We don't care what you think; YOU NEED THESE REFRIGERATORS! We believe that you are so woefully idiotic that you'll buy any piece of trash we'll sell you, GUARANTEED! If you think we're ripping you off, THEN GET OUT YOU HOPELESS, LIFELESS MOTHERF-"

"Okay, I think that's enough of these commercials." Pearl interrupted the announcer by shutting off the TV. "Now, I presented this overly persuasive advertisement to you all today because Little Homeschool has been experiencing a bit of a slump lately." To demonstrate, Pearl then unveiled a graph revealing the growing lack of Gems attending the school, which was far lower than average. "Ever since Steven left us, the school hasn't seen much attendance lately, and it's starting to look very concerning."

"Good, the fewer thralls, the better!" Black Rutile jeered at her archenemies while passing them by with a crate full of machine parts.

"Nobody invited you to this meeting." Garnet coldly told the Rutile. "Now leave."

"I just felt like insulting you anyways." Black Rutile grumbled as she kept walking. "Got better things to do today."

"Anyways, it seems many Gems came here because they were attracted to Steven's kindness and charisma." Pearl continued her speech. "Without him around, we need to find a way to replicate that personality so we can attract more students. Any ideas?"

"We need big signs." Garnet coolly suggested. "Big signs always mean big crowds."

"But we need to attract Gems from all across the universe." Pearl proclaimed. "We need a sign that big for everyone to see!"

"I don't know, maybe an open house or something?" Lapis then added. "I can help make pamphlets, and we can pass them out."

"Hm, that would take a lot of time, though." Pearl pondered. "Any other ideas?"

"Ooh, let's make our own commercial!" Amethyst eagerly replied. "Just like that refrigerator one!"

"I agree with Amethyst here." Jasper concurred with her surrogate sister. "Plus, that lady in the ad sounded awfully familiar."

"But who do we make into our spokes-Gem?" Bismuth asked. "I mean, Lapis and Jasper sure ain't person people, and Peridot would just make the ad all about her."

"I'm standing right here, you know!" Peridot complained. "I think out of all of us, Garnet, Amethyst, or Pearl would be the best for our advertisement since they are far more familiar with Earth than any of us could ever hope to be."

"You raise a good point, Peridot, but I have a different Gem in mind." Garnet proclaimed before she looked at White Topaz sitting next to her. "White Topaz, we need Teal Zircon. Have her brought to us ASAP!"

"Yes, ma'am!" White Topaz obediently saluted. "Uh, what for?"

"Ooh, I'm so excited you picked me for your ad!" Teal Zircon cheered gratefully as the Crystal Gems became a film crew with Peridot, White Topaz, and Amethyst on sound, Lapis and Jasper working the lights, Bismuth making props, Garnet holding the clapperboard, and Pearl in the director's seat. "I'll have you know; I was a real mean advertiser before the Rebellion because everyone says I have high energy and an eccentric personality."

"That's exactly what we need for this commercial, Teal!" Pearl replied before turning to the Gems' chosen cameraman. "Okay, Peedee, are you ready?"

"Hang on, Miss Pearl, just need to make sure the camera's just right." Peedee Fryman replied as he took off the lens cap on his video camera and made some final adjustments. "Okay, here goes nothing!"

"Understood." Garnet nodded before bringing out the clapperboard. "New Little Homeworld commercial starring Teal Zircon, take one!" she announced before clapping it shut. "Action!"

"They have brought down an entire regime with words instead of lethal force." Teal Zircon began narrating over a montage of the Crystal Gems in a goofy Spanish accent. "They saved all life, the universe, and everything more times than you can count on your fingers. They're some of the biggest celebrities in the known universe. These are the most interesting Gems in the world."

The scene then transitioned to Teal reclining on a bear skin rug in front of a fireplace while holding a bottle of wine in her hand. "I don't usually hang around on Earth, but when I do, it's learning how to live my life at Little Homeschool." She declared, still with the Spanish accent. "Stay fusing, my friends."

"And cut!" Garnet announced with another clap of the clapperboard, ending the commercial. "Good work there, Teal, though I have no idea where the fireplace came from."

"Yeah, and is that bear rug made from a real bear?" Pearl asked while picking up the rug. "And is that wine?!"

"Yeah, the wine is real. The bear isn't." Teal explained. "I have a knack for pulling out props when the situation calls for it."

"Yeah, but this is totally unlike the vibe we're going for!" Amethyst stated. "We're supposed to teach Gems to abandon their conquering ways, not encourage them to be swingers!"

"Ooh, that reminds me, I think we could use a swingset somewhere around here." Pearl sidetracked the discussion.

"Uh, Pearl, I don't think that's what Amethyst means." Lapis pointed out Pearl's error.

"Ew." Pearl reeled in disgust once she realized what she had just said. "Well, what else can we do?"

"I think I might have a few ideas." Teal declared before pulling a cricket bat out of her gem. "Cricket?"

"Cricket?!" Peridot complained about the idea. "Nobody understands cricket! You must know what a crumpet is to comprehend cricket!"

"Yeah, sounded a lot better in my head." Teal immediately agreed and threw the bat away. "Okay, I got a better idea!"

"New Little Homeworld commercial starring Teal Zircon, take two!" Garnet announced. "Action!"

"Hello, Gems." Teal greeted her audience in a heavy, baritone voice while standing in a bathroom and wearing a towel around her waist. "Look at yourself, now back to me. Now look back at yourself, back to me. The yourself you once knew is gone, and that can be helped at Little Homeschool." She declared. "Look down, back up. Where are you now?" Teal asked while changing her form into sailing attire as the setting changed into a maritime one.

"You're now on a boat with the Gem your gem could look like! Now look at your hand, and what do you see?" she asked again before presenting a box of donuts. "I have it now, and it's a box of donuts from the Big Donut! Now look again; the donuts are now solid gold!" After Teal revealed the golden donuts in the box, the scene then slowly changed to the Zircon riding on Jasper's back on the beach. "Anything is possible when you come on down to Little Homeworld, where you can learn not to be a genocidal conqueror! I'm riding on a Jasper."

"I don't know what just happened, but I hate this." Jasper said in a mix of confusion and quiet outrage as the shooting ended.

"How is she doing this?!" Pearl exclaimed as Teal got off Jasper's back. "One moment she was standing in a bathroom, the next she was on a boat with that box of gold donuts, and finally she was on Jasper's back! Can she warp reality to her whims, or is it all an illusion?!"

"I don't know either, but this is really entertaining." Garnet smiled. "But still not what we're looking for. Maybe we should do a little more wholesome."

"How wholesome are we talking here?" Peedee asked Garnet.

"Maybe loud and inviting, yet still super friendly." Bismuth answered. "What do you think, Teal?"

"I mean, I have good ideas, but I'm willing to try anything once." TZ reluctantly agreed with her fellow Crystal Gems.

"Hi, Teal Zircon for Little Homeschool!" Teal Zircon energetically introduced herself while wearing a blue polo shirt and khakis and having shapeshifted herself a thick beard. "The one-stop place for all Gems to let go of their problematic pasts and make a change for the better! Just look at all the activities we're offering!"

"Good thing Greg happened to have those clothes lying around." Pearl muttered behind the camera as Teal continued her explanation.

"We got all kinds of art classes, like painting and sculpturing!" Teal exclaimed boisterously. "There's also yoga, swimming, fashion, technology, self-defense, and so much more! Just look at all these satisfied Gems!"

"I was a constant threat to the Crystal Gems, but thanks to Little Homeschool, I now have a healthier way of expressing my anger." Jasper said flatly. "Thanks, Little Homeschool."

"For most of my life, I was but a humble servant who had no personality of my own." White Topaz added. "But after going to Little Homeschool, I finally found someone who loves me for me!"

"I was formerly a Peridot in service to the great Hessonite who antagonized the Crystal Gems in their quest for the Light Prism" Squaridot proclaimed. "But after some soul-searching, I became a vigilante sidekick before finding my one true place here!"

"I was forced to come here against my will." Black Rutile grumbled. "Wait, how did I even get in this commercial anyways?! I was just in my house!"

"Another satisfied customer!" Teal exclaimed while showing Black Rutile away from the camera. "If you ever feel like attending, come on down to your local Warp Pad and see all there is to see on this wonderful planet, guaranteed!"

"And that's a wrap!" Pearl exclaimed as Peedee finished recording. "Wonderful job, Teal, I think we finally have our commercial!"

"Aw, that's it?" Teal moaned in disappointment. "I got so much to show you! I got illusion powers, meaning I can create anything, which is why I did so many cool things for all the previous takes!" With a mere snap of her fingers, Teal took off the polo & khakis and reappeared in a bright flash of light dressed in a jester outfit. "Like this, for example, puddin'!"

"Okay, that certainly explains a lot." Amethyst realized. "What else can you make?"

"Oh, like you wouldn't believe!" Teal exclaimed before changing out of her jester getup and transforming the set into a disco club, complete with everyone dressed in appropriate attire. "Come on, everybody, shake your groove things!"

"Oh goody, the seventies." Pearl grimaced at her current attire as Peridot began cackling at the taller Gem.

"Oh my stars, did your hair seriously look like that during that time period?!" Peridot laughed and pointed at Pearl's big afro.

"I was going through a phase!" Pearl yelled at Amethyst as the setting changed to a sinking ship. "Now what?!"

"My friends, it's been an honor playing with you." Teal solemnly said before she pulled out a violin to play while the ship began sinking to the bottom.

"Can ya hold still for a sec?!" Bismuth yelled. "We're excellent as is; no need to keep throwing all this at us!"

"But I got so much more to show off!" Teal declared as she began flipping through even more illusory settings for the Gems to examine, though the speed at which she presented them proved to be very overwhelming very quickly. It wasn't until someone told her to stop that Teal slowed down.

"WE SAID CUT IT OUT!" Jasper roared in Teal's face, sending the Zircon falling over as everything returned to normal. "How about we take five for a bit?"

"Okay, guys, whatever you say." A stunned Teal agreed before picking herself up and walking away, her hair blown back by Jasper's yell before she straightened it back to normal.

"Don't you think you were a little harsh, honey bear?" White Topaz asked Jasper.

"I know. I gotta work on my anger issues." Jasper replied to her girlfriend. "But seriously, that Zircon really gets on my nerves! She's like an annoying little kid who never knows when to shut up!"

"Come on, Jasper, no need to be so callous." Peridot added. "Though you are kind of right, Teal Zircon possesses a rather prepubescent mindset and doesn't know how to read the room. She just needs to learn how to grow up a little."

"Think she'll be back?" Lapis wondered to the others.

"I'll go look for her." Peedee declared and walked away in search of the Zircon.

"I guess that's an actor's life for me." Teal Zircon mused to herself while lying down on a bench. "You think I'm coming off too strong, me? Yeah, me, maybe I should tone it down a bit."

"Are you talking to yourself?" Peedee asked Teal as he found her on the bench and sat beside her. "Don't want to be rude, but you're kinda weird."

"Yeah, I get that a lot." Teal replied tonelessly. "I didn't have that many friends before joining the Crystal Gems because everyone thought I was too obnoxious, so I kept acting out, hoping that someone would find me funny."

"Well, did anyone find you funny?" Peedee asked again.

"Rose certainly did, which is how I joined the CGs." Teal answered. "Or was it Pink Diamond that found me funny? Man, learning that my former boss turned out to be a Diamond in disguise makes everything really confusing now." She then sat up next to Peedee. "But even now, I'm not sure if this kind of behavior is winning me any favors, especially with Jasper."

"Well, you tried taking it down a notch?" Peedee suggested. "I mean, I get you want to make yourself known, but maybe you should be a little more subdued in your advertising."

"Yeah, maybe you're right!" Teal declared in realization as she sprung up from the bench. "I should try to be more chill! Thanks, Peepee!"

"Um, it's Peedee!" Peedee corrected for Teal, but she was too busy running towards the film set to hear him. "Then again, I never did tell her my name. Eh, whatevs."

"Guys, I'm ready to start shooting again!" Teal exclaimed to the Crystal Gems as she returned to the set. "And this time, I think I got it!"

"Oh, that's wonderful, Teal!" Pearl cheered with a little clap. "Uh, what do you have anyways?"

"It!" Teal answered. "I just gotta be a little more subdued! You know, it!"

"If we knew what it was exactly, we'd understand what you were talking about." Jasper responded sourly before Lapis smacked her in the head.

"She's saying she wanted to take this in a different direction." Lapis stated. "Didn't she make that clear?"

"Okay, fine." Jasper answered. "But this better not get weird like all the last times!"

The new commercial opened on a wide aerial shot of Little Homeworld with a chintzy logo of Little Homeschool over it. Then it cut to Teal Zircon standing next to a leaking water tank while holding a piece of tape. "Hi, Teal Zircon here for Little Homeschool. The place where you could find inner peace and tape your life back together!" To emphasize her point, Teal slapped the tape onto the leaking tank in slow motion. "In just a few short months, you can become a new Gem, unlike the one you were before!"

The commercial then transitioned to the pasts of some of its students, like Jasper, White Topaz, the Lapis twins, Topaz, and Emerald. "Wow, take a look at all these Gems! Forced fusion, subservient to a sociopathic revolutionary, terraforming, capturing humans, subjugating planets, that's a lot of damage! But now, with Little Homeschool, they've all changed their lives for the better!"

After another montage of the Gems in their current states, it returned to Teal posing by the pool where Zuli was doing laps. "We got all sorts of activities you can do here. In fact, I'm right behind one of them right now!"

"When did you get here?" Zuli asked Teal while emerging from the pool.

"Unimportant!" Teal commented excitedly as Zuli threw a towel over her shoulder. "But what isn't unimportant is the lifelong connections you can make here! Who knows, maybe you could even become part of a fusion for life, like this big missy over here!" She then gestured over to a hologram of Fluorite. "Check this out, six Gems in one giant caterpillar! Isn't that amazing?!"

As the commercial concluded, Teal was then shown sawing a rowboat in half. "I just sawed a boat in half!" she happily declared. "Because it's evocative of the Gem you could become at Little Homeworld! Operators are standing by right now to enroll you today! Call now, and you'll get a free T-shirt with your new schedule!"

"We don't have an operator, or free T-shirts!" Amethyst called from offscreen before the cameras stopped rolling.

"Outstanding Teal, though, is this supposed to be your idea of subdued?" Peridot asked.

"Indeed, she was a little less high energy, but still very upbeat." Garnet added. "I thought you said you wanted to be more subdued."

"But I was being subdued!" Teal complained, offended that she wasn't being respected for trying the best she could. "What, was not doing what you wanted me to do not enough for you guys?!"

"Teal, you don't understand!" Pearl exclaimed before Teal began stomping away in a huff. "Please, come back!"

"You'll be hearing from my agent about this!" Teal bellowed without even turning around.

"You don't even have an agent!" Jasper yelled back. "Geez, she can be so irritating sometimes."

"Well, maybe it's because she wants attention, but doesn't know how to get it without making a scene a lot." Peedee deduced. "I mean, she did tell me that she acted that way because she didn't have many friends on Homeworld."

"Well, if you guys have apparently become friends, then why don't you talk to her?" Lapis suggested to the young Fryman son.

"I'll see what I can do." Peedee declared as he once again walked away in search of Teal.

"I swear, I'm doing what they wanted!" Teal muttered to herself. "Am I just not satisfying enough?"

"Hey, Teal, can I talk to you about what just happened?" Peedee asked the Zircon as she turned to notice him standing behind her. "You doing alright?"

"Oh no, I'm perfectly fine, Deedee!" Teal proclaimed before immediately correcting herself. "Okay, I'm actually lying because I still feel like I barely have any friends here."

"Yeah, I can see where you're coming from." Peedee replied. "Like, Steven was a pretty close friend of mine when he still lived in Beach City, but then we just pretty much drifted apart as he got wrapped up in more crazy adventures while I'm kinda left in the dust. So yeah, I kinda understand you being so lonely."

"Yeah, having to air out all of Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond's dirty laundry can really take up a lot of time." Teal concurred. "So what should I do now? Maybe learn to read the room better so I can make friends?"

"I'm pretty sure that has nothing to do with what I just said, but yeah, maybe you should." Peedee replied. "Let's bring you back so you can make up with them."

"Sure." Teal agreed. "You're a good kid, Deepee."

"You know what, I think I'll let it slide this time." Peedee laughed as the two began walking back to the set.

"So, there goes our lead actor." Pearl mused as the gang began packing up the set while Teal and Peedee were talking. "I suppose we can make do with what we still have, though the question remains which one to use?"

"I like the one where Teal had the beard!" Amethyst exclaimed. "That one made me laugh!"

"I personally found the one with the boat quite entertaining." Garnet provided her opinion on the finished commercials. "It's easy to be taken out of context."

"Hello, Gems." Black Rutile purred as she appeared from behind the camera. "If your leading Gem is out of the picture, then are you in the market for a replacement, perhaps?" she suggested. "I happen to possess many qualities for an ideal spokeswoman, like charisma, energy, a commanding presence, and a pretty face too."

"Are you going to turn this into a propaganda video?" Bismuth asked as Black Rutile began recording herself on Peedee's camera.

"Oh my, how could you possibly have guessed?" Black Rutile chuckled before clearing her throat. "Greetings, Gems of the universe, I am Black Rutile! Former pilot turned right-hand of White Diamond turned freedom fighter against the tyrannical Crystal Gems, and I am here to give you the offer of a lifetime!"

"Called it." Bismuth grumbled as the Gems dumbfoundedly watched Black Rutile's attempt at advertising.

"For too long now have we suffered under the iron-fisted rule of the monstrous Steven Universe and his Crystal Gems hive mind!" Black Rutile continued speaking. "However, I, a humble veteran cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate, saw through the corruption these peace-loving beasts have infected our mighty society with and brainwashed trillions to their cause! Steven has vouchsafed us his twisted, possessive idea of love and tolerance at the expense of many hard-working Gems and every planet under the Diamonds' thumb. Now, it's time we come together right now to fight back against this crystalline threat and restore our species to order with me as your fearless leader!"

"Hey, are you making another commercial without me?!" Teal yelled from offscreen as she zoomed in front of the camera and knocked Black Rutile over. "I got another thing to say!"

"I was in the middle of something, you infernal advertiser!" Black Rutile yelled with a teal foot to her face. "Now get off of me!"

"What do you have to say now?" Pearl asked Teal.

"Well, I just wanna say I'm sorry for how I acted just now." Teal apologized for her behavior. "Thanks to Peedee here, I think I should know better to read the room and be more considerate of others. He's a good kid."

"Thanks, Teal." Peedee replied gratefully. "Now, are we ready to get this going again?!"

"You bet!" Teal proclaimed eagerly. "Make sure to get my good side!"

"Okay, let's do this one last time." Pearl accepted what was going on now. "Places, please!"

"Hi, it's Teal Zircon with Little Homeschool!" Teal introduced herself while wearing a headset and holding an absorbent towel. "Now Little Homeschool is a lot like this absorbent towel here, because they both can drain every drop of your bad side dry and leave nothing behind, like so!"

To demonstrate, Teal dipped the towel into a small bucket of water that seemed to empty the moment the towel went in instantly. "It's like a towel, a sponge, or maybe a school that'll help you get away from your bad self so you can truly make a change for the better!"

As Teal continued speaking, a montage began playing of some of Little Homeschool's various students. "This is for the Rubies, the Lapises, the Jaspers, the Emeralds, the fusions; Little Homeschool was established only a few years ago, but business has been booming since then, and we've been able to provide a home for all of its students too!" she declared. "So come on down to Earth today in the solar system and see how you too can become a student of the one and only Crystal Gems!"

"Or join the Rutile Rebels and fight for freedom for all Gems!" Black Rutile exclaimed as she freed her face from Teal Zircon's foot and hastily got up, but the commercial ended before she could finish.

Once filming had ended, the Gems decided to edit together every commercial they filmed starring Teal Zircon because nobody could choose which to use. Ultimately, business began speeding up again thanks to their new advertisement.

"Hello, Gems. Teal Zircon for Little Homeschool! The place where you could find inner peace and tape your life back together! We got all kinds of art classes, like painting and sculpturing! Little Homeschool was established only a few years ago, but business has been booming since then, and we've been able to provide a home for all of its students too! If you ever feel like attending, then come on down to your local Warp Pad and see all there is to see on this wonderful planet, guaranteed! Stay fusing, my friends."

"Well, guys, it looks like we finally got our commercial!" Pearl exclaimed as their completed ad aired on television across the country and the universe. "And it's all thanks to you, Teal!"

"Please, you're making me blush!" Teal replied nervously. "So, who do you suppose we'll bring in with this?"

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see." Garnet adjusted her glasses with a grin before the Crystal Gems all heard the Warp Pad hum. "A new student, come on, everyone!"

When the Gems raced to the Warp Pad, they were greeted by a little brown Gem who had her gem replacing her nose and wore brown overalls. "Hey, uh, my name's Monazite. Is this Little Homeschool?"

"Let me guess, did our ad send you here?" Teal Zircon asked. Monazite nodded. "Then welcome to the party!"

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 6: A Fandom Divided

On a beautiful night in Little Homeworld, all the Gem inhabitants had gathered around a large projector screen that Lapis and Peridot set up for a movie night for everyone. "Face front true believers," Peridot theatrically announced. "for in just a few short moments; you shall bear witness to the greatest television program this planet has ever conceived!"

"Ooh, is it Challenge of Castles?!" Teal raised her hand. "That show is amazing!"

"No way, The Gandolfinis is way better!" Watermelon Tourmaline debated.

"I'm personally more a fan of Black and White Are The New Blue." Desert Glass commented. "I find myself really connecting with everyone being brutally imprisoned, for some reason."

"All of you, be quiet!" Peridot barked, stopping the argument before it could go too far. "Those shows are all great, but none can ever come close to the quality cinema that is Camp Pining Hearts! It's got everything you could ask for! Romance, drama!"

"Attractive humans getting into over-the-top situations," Lapis added. "Everyone getting mad at each other for stupid reasons. "

"And best of all, the single greatest shipping ever conceived by human brains, but we want it to be up to you!" Peridot declared before Pearl stepped on stage between her and Lapis.

"Thank you for the introduction, girls, but are you sure this is a good idea?" Pearl asked the duo. "I don't want everyone to start arguing which of these "ships" are superior to the point of getting toxic and harming each other. Like that one Crying Breakfast Friends fan-artist Steven really likes who was bullied into nearly committing suicide because she drew Sad Spoon to be too skinny."

"Oh, come on, Pearl, I'm sure this will be nothing like that incident!" Peridot answered while pushing Pearl away. "Now then, this episode, in particular, is considered to be the finest in all of Camp Pining Hearts, across both the amazing original series and its abysmal reboot!"

"It's called "Hunting Season" from Season 2, the best season in our eyes." Lapis continued. "Now, without further ado, let the show begin. Is it ready, Garnet?!"

"Ready and raring to go, Lapis." Garnet agreed as she turned the episode on and projected it onto the big screen.

"This is going to be so exciting!" Peridot muttered eagerly at the prospect of exposing her special interest to more and more Gems. "I can't wait for everyone to share my opinions!"

"Dude, not everyone will think the same way as you." Amethyst disagreed as she snacked on some popcorn. "You just gotta accept that everyone has different opinions."

"Yeah, like I refuse ever to accept that your ways are what's best for everyone." Black Rutile added snarkily.

"See, like her." Amethyst stated while gesturing to Black Rutile.

"Finally, one of you agrees with me!" Black Rutile sighed in delight. "Looks like I finally converted a Crystal Gem to my cause!"

"What? No." Amethyst corrected the Rutile. "I'm just using you as an example. It'll be a cold day in the Kindergarten before you brainwash anyone of us, though!"

"Spoilsport." Black Rutile pouted as the episode continued.

"Shh, be vewy, vewy quiet." A brown-clad hunter told the audience while tiptoeing through the forest. "I'm hunting for a deew. Ahahahaha." Just then, the hunter spotted a majestic white-tailed deer grazing in the distance and excitedly prepared his rifle. "Oh, a deew!" he exclaimed. "A femawe deew!"

Elsewhere, a handsome young man with brown hair was exploring the great outdoors with a spring in his steps and stars in his eyes. "Nature truly is a wonderful thing." Pierre muttered to himself with a dashing grin. "And I'm more than happy to experience it with dear friends like Percy." Just then, Pierre spotted a white-tailed deer peacefully grazing, unaware of the hunter ready to shoot it down with his rifle. "Oh no, that innocent doe is in trouble!"

"Come on, big guy, just stay wight whewe I want you to be." The hunter smirked to himself before he found Pierre racing into his line of sight. "Gadzooks! Boy, get out of dah way!"

"No, I won't let you hurt this innocent deer!" Pierre exclaimed as he got in front of the doe to protect it, only to be shot in his torso by the hunter and fell to the ground as the doe got spooked and ran away.

"Oh my, you okay thewe spowt?" the hunter frantically realized his error and raced to Pierre's aid. "I am so sowwy widdle boy, I was just doing my job, but then you got in the way!"

"I'm not little; I'm 16." Pierre groaned and revealed his age, which was way younger than the actor playing him. "Please, go to Camp Pining Hearts and find help. Please, my life depends on it!"

"Don't wowwy, I'll do what I can!" the hunter replied bravely and ran off to find help, leaving Pierre to lie there on the ground, blood staining his uniform as he tried not to give into his injuries.

"Come on, sir, hurry up." Pierre groaned in pain while trying to pluck the bullet from his abdomen when he heard footsteps. "Wow, that was fast."

"Pierre!" a blonde camper cried out as he raced to Pierre's side. "That hunter told me what happened! Are you all right?!"

"It's fine, Percy, now that you're here." Pierre weakly answered while gazing longingly into Percy's eyes. "I was out and about in the woods earlier when I found that a hunter was trying to kill this innocent deer. I was able to protect it, but now it seems like I might not have much time left."

"Don't worry, Pierre; I'll get you back to camp," Percy said as he began bridal-carrying Pierre and took him away from the forest clearing. "You're one of my best friends, Pierre."

"You too, Percy." Pierre grinned happily.

As the episode continued, the Gems were enraptured in the drama that ensued from Pierre's sacrifice, and even began crying when it seemed like he was going to die from the bullet wound. But thankfully, Percy was there to help Pierre every step of the way, and eventually, their bond was what saved Pierre from death in the cheesiest fashion imaginable. Peridot was utterly delighted to see such a standing ovation from the adoring audience that had just watched her favorite show and now was eager to ask what their thoughts were on it and whether they were as hardcore shippers of Percy and Pierre as she was.

"Thank you, thank you, everyone!" Peridot exclaimed as she got back up on stage. "It delights me so much to see everyone like the same things I do! This reminds me of one crucial question. After watching this episode, are you all Piercy shippers now?!"

"Meh, take it or leave it." Cat's Eye smugly answered while checking her manicure, inciting gasps from every other audience member. "I didn't really see any romantic tension between the two. I think they're more like brothers than lovers. Besides, Paulette deserves better from this fandom you speak of."

"You bite your tongue!" Teal Zircon yelled at Cat from the other side of the audience. "Pierre and Percy bring out the best in each other! Pierre learns how to be gentler around Percy, while Percy learns how to stand up for himself more from Pierre! They are the best CPH ship!"

"Oh, you just like them together because they're two cute human boys who think deserve to spend all of their screentime making out with each other!" Cat began bickering with Teal. "You keep assuming the worst about everything Paulette does, and she was barely even in this episode!"

"Now, let's settle down for a bit." Peridot tried to ease the tension between the arguing pair. "While yes, Pierre and Percy are the best pairing in Camp Pining Hearts, and Paulette has no place in the camp's hierarchy, that's no reason to start arguing with each other!"

"I told you so." Pearl nervously responded to Peridot in a sing-song voice as the conflict reached its boiling point.

"Everyone who ships Percy and Pierre, form up with me!" Teal commanded, followed by Orange Spodumene, the Watermelon Tourmalines, Doc, Leggy, Bixbite, Tiger's Eye, Yellow Pearl, Ocean Jasper, Crazy Lace, Chrysocolla, Serpentine, Grossular Diopside, Beryl, Holly Blue, Nephrite, Angel Aura Quartz, Zuli, Desert Glass, Morganite, and Navy all gathering up behind her.

"Is that so?" Cat's Eye purred. "Well, if you support Percy with Paulette, then join my side!" As she ordered, Army, Topaz, Monazite, Emerald, Demantoid, Pyrope, Blue Pearl, Volleyball, the Cubic Zirconias, Moonstone, Blue Chalcedony, Snowflake Obsidian, Larimar, Albite, Zebra Jasper, Biggs Jasper, Laz, Squaridot, and Cherry Quartz assembling beside her.

"Well, where do all of you stand?" Teal asked Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Peridot, Lapis, Bismuth, Black Rutile, and White Topaz as they were forced into the middle of this new conflict.

"Nope, I don't want to know where this is going!" Black Rutile declared as she got up and prepared to leave, only to come back moments later to speak with Cat's Eye. "But keep this up for as long as you can; it'll keep everyone distracted while I keep working on the Vortexxer."

"I think we're going to take a neutral stance here." Bismuth proclaimed. "This is an absolutely ridiculous reason to start fighting, so I suggest we find a way to end this peacefully before it all goes too far!"

"Me, personally, I find this to be a huge waste of time." Jasper added her opinions. "I mean, none of these humans are even real! Is there really any reason to obsess over the love lives of fictional characters?!"

"Okay, that I can agree with!" Black Rutile agreed with Jasper from afar. Suddenly, the two warring factions of shippers all began yelling as they marched away from the impromptu theater, leaving the Crystal Gems alone.

"I figured things would turn out like this." Garnet declared.

"You mean you knew this was going to happen and never told me?!" Peridot yelled. "Some leader you turned out to be!"

"Hey, chillax, everyone." Lapis said calmingly. "At least things can't get worse than this, right? Right?"

The next day, it got worse. Overnight, the entire town was split down the middle between Teal Zircon and the Gems who shipped Pierre with Percy, and the Gems who sided with Cat's Eye by shipping Percy with Paulette, leaving the Crystal Gems forced into the middle of the situation both figuratively and literally.

"It's ominous how much this echoes shipping debates on the Internet." Peridot mused in horror of what new spore of madness she had unleashed.

"But now it's in real life!" Lapis added, just as terrified.

"Were things on your Earth technology resolved with peace and kindness, perhaps?" Jasper asked sarcastically.

"Oh, far from it." Amethyst answered. "I mean, see for yourself!"

"Archers, fire your hateful fanfictions!" Teal commanded Crazy Lace, Serpentine, Nephrite, and Yellow Pearl before the four Gems launched stacks of paper from arrows at the Gems on the opposing side.

"Your fantasies are null compared to our superior writing skills!" Yellow Pearl barked at the enemy shippers.

"You call this superior writing skills?!" Albite exclaimed as she read through one of the fanfictions. "Everyone in this story is completely out of character for the sake of your sexual desires! And why is everyone so obsessed with feet all of a sudden?"

"Oh no, I fired the wrong one!" Yellow Pearl yelled in realization. "Quick, throw it back so I can burn it!"

"Too late; I'm gonna read this to everyone!" Albite laughed as she walked away to continue embarrassing Yellow Pearl.

"Really, you and the feet?" Serpentine asked a blushing Yellow Pearl.

"I just admire their complex anatomy, that's all!" Yellow Pearl tried lying her way out of an awkward situation before speed-walking away.

Meanwhile, on the Percy/Paulette side, Blue Pearl was hard at work on her latest masterpiece, which Volleyball had taken an interest in. "Oh hey, Blue, what are you working on?"

"Just this amazing Percy/Paulette fanart I've poured my heart into." Blue Pearl replied while showing off an immaculate painting of a romantic moment between the two CPH characters. "The lake symbolizes how the waters may be rough, but they will always have each other's backs. And the moon is evocative of how bright their future will be together."

"Oh, that is amazing symbolism!" Volleyball complimented the other Pearl's work. "And what about their big mustaches?"

"Their what?" Blue Pearl asked before she turned to discover that her precious artwork had been defaced. "Who could have done this to me?!" She immediately got her answer in the form of Doc and Leggy laughing raucously as they scampered off, indicating that they were the culprits. "You rotten, no good antis! I'll get you two for this!"

"We'd like to see you try without going over the line!" Doc cackled evilly while pointing at the line splitting Little Homeworld in two, proving to Blue Pearl that any hope of getting revenge was nonexistent.

"We have to find a way to resolve this without anyone getting seriously hurt!" Garnet declared. "Peridot, Lapis, I suggest you try getting the leaders to see reason first before everyone can agree to a truce, and we can reset everything to normal again."

"We won't let you down, Garnet!" Peridot saluted dutifully along with Lapis.

"I don't see this going horribly wrong." Lapis added before the two split up and took off for both sides of the war, Peridot marching towards Teal's side while Lapis strolled to meet with Cat's Eye.

"What if Lapis was right?" White Topaz asked worriedly. "What if this does go wrong? The two of them are freakishly powerful, so who knows what could happen?"

"This is the best thing that has ever happened to this good-for-nothing prison!" Black Rutile cheered as she, Aquamarine, and Eyeball watched the civil war between Teal and Cat from the comforts of Black Rutile's house as the trio continued work on the Vortexxer. "Everyone is so distracted by such a silly concept; they're all completely oblivious to what I have planned!"

"To be fair, my Rutile, they've been pretty oblivious for a while." Aquamarine said to her master. "I find it odd that no one has gotten at least some sort of a clue about what we're doing."

"Eh, best to keep it all a secret, it makes the eventual reveal all the more shocking." Eyeball said while snacking from a bucket of popcorn just as the door opened. "Oh hey kitty, we thought you were dead."

"Oh please, as if I'd die in these silly circumstances!" Cat boasted while perching herself upon the incomplete Vortexxer like a cat.

"Hey, get off! That's delicate equipment you're toying with!" Black Rutile commanded her feline crony to leave her project alone. "Now, give me a status report!"

"This little squabble has been tepid for the most part, but it's only a matter of time before everything explodes into full-on war!" Cat's Eye purred while turning the wall behind her into a scratching post. "Which reminds me, my Rutile, do you ship Percy with Pierre or Paulette? I do hope it's Paulette. Your tactical genius would be of great use to our cause!"

"I don't care either way!" Black Rutile answered as she continued work on the portal. "Like, they're not even real; why should we care so much about the love lives of those who don't even exist?"

"I certainly agree, my Rutile." Eyeball added. "It just makes no sense how obsessive humans get with fictional characters."

"Now, Ruby, no need to judge people for their opinions." Aquamarine jokingly chided her sidekick. "But really, this is all just one futile and stupid gesture."

"Darn, I was really hoping to get at least one of you in on this." Cat moaned in defeat. "But regardless, I still think we could be winning!" Just then, Cat heard a knock on Black Rutile's door. "Just a moment, I need to take this." She then stepped outside to see Cherry Quartz standing there. "What do you want?"

"One of the Crystal Gems wishes to speak with you." Cherry stated with a salute. "It's Lapis Lazuli."

"Oh, goody." Cat's Eye responded with a visible grimace. "Let me guess, are they trying to settle our war peacefully?"

"I believe so." Cherry stated. "Come, she says it's of the utmost importance."

"Well, she better make this quick." Cat said as she began following Cherry. "I got some fanfiction to do a dramatic reading of in an hour."

Meanwhile, in the domain of Teal Zircon and her Percy/Pierre shippers, Peridot had just arrived and was ready to make a stand against this madness so everyone could enjoy Camp Pining Hearts in peace. However, Teal's subordinates were all tough nuts for her to crack.

"HALT, WHO GOES THERE?!" the Watermelon Tourmaline duo yelled as they stood guarding the greenhouse Teal had made into her impromptu palace. "NOBODY GETS IN TO SEE THE GRAND SHIPPER OF PIERRE AND PERCY, NOT NOBODY, NOT NOHOW!"

"But I do ship them!" Peridot exclaimed. "Just let me in; I need to talk with Teal!"

"Oh, I see you are a Gem of culture as well. My mistake." The Watermelon Tourmaline fusion realized her error. "Let her in, Puffy. She's good people."

"Now that's a horse of a different color. Come on in." The other Watermelon Tourmaline said as the duo let Peridot pass into the greenhouse. The plants were still there, but now it was filled with Gems dressed in CPH cosplay acting out romantic scenarios between Percy and Pierre.

"But Pierre, I'm afraid we cannot be together!" Desert Glass dramatically stated. "I am in love with another person!"

"Who, who could this other person be?" Nephrite asked with equal amounts of cheese.

"It is my twin brother!" Desert Glass exclaimed, eliciting gasps of shock and excitement.

"Twin brother? Spicy!" Zuli muttered as she applauded the duo's act. "But not as spicy as the dog bit!"

"Where do they keep coming up with these lewd ideas?" Holly Blue agreed as Peridot awkwardly walked past the applauding audience to meet with Teal Zircon.

"Um, hello there." Peridot greeted her fellow shippers of Percy and Pierre. "Is Teal Zircon still here? I'd like to have a word with her about this conflict."

"Don't you worry, we'll grab her, and she'll be here in a jiffy." Serpentine answered politely as she raced to find their superior, who was busy snacking on grapes like a Roman emperor while Navy served as her footrest. "Um, Lord Teal, we have a visitor who wishes to meet with you."

"Send her in." Teal said with a mouth full of grapes as Peridot was shunted forward by Angel Aura Quartz and Crazy Lace. "I am Teal Zircon, the great and powerful!" she proclaimed loudly. "State your business or get out of my sight!"

"I came here to inform you that this conflict is utterly preposterous!" Peridot made her case against the shipping war. "Fandom is supposed to bring everyone together, no matter who they are or what they ship! Isn't that just as important as your OTP?"

Teal took some time to contemplate Peridot's question while continuing to munch on grapes before she came up with a question of her own. "You know, Peridot, your plea for peace makes me want to ask you something." She said. "What do you ship, little one?"

"Um, Percy and Pierre?" Peridot nervously replied. "I don't feel like this question will lead to anything good."

"On the contrary, it could lead to many good things!" Teal responded happily. "Join me, and together we can rule the Camp Pining Hearts fanbase as shippers in arms!"

"While I do admire that you're taking my earlier message of togetherness to heart, I don't think you're doing it right!" Peridot objected to TZ's offer. "The other Crystal Gems and I just wanted everyone to get along!"

"But now you can get along with us! What do you say?" Teal continued exhorting. "One of us, one of us! Gooble gobble, one of us!"

"We accept her, we accept her!" Teal's subordinates began chanting for Peridot to join them. "One of us, one of us!"

"Uh, I still don't know, you guys." Peridot responded awkwardly. "I mean, as I said, we all have different opinions, and we should respect them!"

"Oh, this is more than just a difference in opinions." Teal declared in response. "We will soon be at war with our enemies, and we need a Gem as smart as you to aid us in the coming battle! We would've recruited Black Rutile, but she rejected because this is utterly ridiculous."

"Can't believe I'm saying this, but she has a point!" Peridot continued debating with Teal. "You know what, fine! I'll join you only if you agree to stop this madness!"

"Don't you worry, Dottie, I'm a Gem of my word." Teal solemnly swore to Peridot while also crossing her fingers behind her back. "Now come with me. We have much to discuss." She then took Peridot by her tiny green hand and led her deeper into the greenhouse, where some more Gems had made a makeshift war room. "We must prepare for war."

As for Lapis, she had arrived at Cat's Eye's side of Little Homeworld, where the feline Gem ruled from atop the whirly-bird tower while being entertained by watching episodes of CPH where Percy was paired with Paulette, with her minions all huddled around the TV with her.

"Uh, hey, everyone." Lapis greeted the Percy/Paulette shippers, who all turned to look up at her flying above them. "I'm just here on the other Crystal Gems' orders to tell you all that this whole war is a huge waste of time, and we should respect everyone else's opinions and stuff."

"Let me guess, I suppose Peridot is off trying to convince the enemy the same thing?" Laz asked as her old friend touched down on the ground to confront Cat's Eye.

"Exactly." Lapis said to Laz before turning to Cat. "Please, Cat, I know you hate me for being a Crystal Gem, and I hate you because you're so unbelievably smug and obnoxious, but I want you to listen. This conflict sucks! I mean, going to war just because someone has a different opinion than you? That pettiness is only reserved for the Internet, not real life!"

"Oh please, you think this is like a cartoon where you can make everything better in just a few minutes flat?!" Cat scoffed at Lapis's plea. "You need to let it go, little girl. You are indeed correct that this is the real life, not just a fantasy!"

"Exactly, and it's time we face reality!" Lapis proclaimed. "People have different opinions, and we must respect that."

"Speaking of fantasies, I have a few of my own." Cat remarked seductively, making Lapis's breath shudder as she started blushing blue. "Now, it's not those kinds of fantasies, just FYI, just a little idea I've been having."

"What kind of idea?" Lapis asked sheepishly as Cat began using her feminine wiles to get her way.

"Oh, nothing much, just our own version of Hunting Season." Cat purred cheekily. "It's already a good episode, but I think more of Paulette would make it even better!"

"You mean we make a Percy/Paulette version of the episode?" Lapis realized. "What's in this for me, though?"

"Oh, you'll just be donating your creative skills to a good cause, of course." Cherry Quartz revealed, piquing Lapis's interest as she now began considering Cat's offer.

"So, you in?" Blue Chalcedony asked the terraformer.

"Fine, I'll do it." Lapis shrugged and shook Cat's hand. "But only if you don't go and declare war on the other side, okay?"

"Oh, cross my heart, my dearest aquatic angel!" Cat's Eye pinched Lapis's cheek with one hand while crossing her fingers behind her back with the others. "And even if we go to war, we'll win easily since we have not one, but two Lapis Lazulis on our side!"

"She's got that right." Laz agreed with Cat.

"Bad news, everyone, we lost our adorable duo." Bismuth declared to the Crystal Gems at the temple as she put down her phone. "Lapis has turned over to Cat's Eye's side while Peridot has been assimilated into Teal Zircon and her cronies. Oh, I can already imagine the hurt and betrayal that'll come from this!"

"They were supposed to help us stop this craziness!" Amethyst yelled furiously. "Now, what do we do?!"

"Easy, we terrify them into shutting up." Jasper suggested harshly while summoning her crash helmet.

"While that would be super effective, I'm not sure if we should be solving this with violence." White Topaz objected to Jasper's idea. "Anyone else got any bright ideas?"

"I got an excellent idea." Garnet proclaimed while presenting the Gems with Pearl sitting at a laptop. "The Internet started this, so we finish this with the Internet."

"As it turns out, one of the actors from Camp Pining Hearts has his own website where he answers fan questions." Pearl explained before turning the computer around to show a website dedicated to Edward Christian, the man who played Percy on Camp Pining Hearts. "If we ask him about this crisis, maybe he can help solve it."

"You really think he'll just find our question and answer it right on the spot?" Jasper retorted suspiciously as Pearl typed down a question for the actor to answer.

"Dear Edward Christian, my name is Pearl, and I am a Crystal Gem living in Beach City, Delmarva." Pearl read her question out loud as she typed. "I have some friends who are both huge fans of Camp Pining Hearts and are on opposite sides of a shipping war. Is there any way you can help solve this problem before it goes too far? Sincerely, Pearl."

"I like where this is going, but I'm sure he gets many questions daily." Amethyst said. "It might take ages before he notices us!" Just then, Pearl immediately got a response to her question to Edward, much to the Gems' shock given how fast he responded.

"So, might take ages, huh?" White Topaz smirked at Amethyst.

"Why didn't I ask for money?" Amethyst muttered in disappointment before Pearl began reading their answer.

"Dear Pearl, I am honored to know that you Gems are such fans of my work. I had a lot of fun as Percy on Camp Pining Hearts." Pearl read off the laptop. "This isn't the first time I've received a question about shipping, funny enough. I've even had to ban such questions from my site after the big Valentine's Day episode from Season 3, but I'll make an exception for fellow celebrities like you. How about tomorrow, my co-stars Bella Anastasia and Jacob Steele come down to Beach City to help you with your problem? Love, Edward."

"He even said love." Garnet said. "Such a nice man."

"Looks like all we have to do now is wait." Amethyst realized. "Does it say where he lives now?"

"Oh, how convenient!" Pearl cheered as she found Edward's bio. "It turns out he's still living in the Great North, so it should only take almost nine hours for him and his co-stars to reach us!"

"Well, at least we got time now." Jasper sighed in relief. "What should we do now?"

"I got an idea!" White Topaz suggested. "Anyone wanna binge Camp Pining Hearts with me? I'm getting close to the end of Season 3, so no spoilers!"

"I wonder how we can spoil a show we've barely seen any episodes of." Garnet mused to herself.

On the third day of the great shipping conflict of Little Homeworld, the two sides were just about ready to go to war. On one side, Teal Zircon and her horde of Percy/Pierre shippers were readying their weapons for the coming battle while Peridot mapped out potential strategies. On the other side, Cat's Eye's side was also preparing for war, but Lapis was feeling anxious about having to go against her lifelong friend and partner.

"Anything troubling you, my dear Lapis?" Cat purred as she batted her tail against Lapis's back to get the blue Gem's attention. "Oh, I get it! You're worried about what Peridot might think about you rooting for the enemy." She realized. "Well, there's one teensy-weensy, but ever so crucial little detail you had forgotten about. THIS IS WAR, AND PAST RELATIONSHIPS DON'T MATTER!"

"How should I know that?! I never fought in the rebellion!" Lapis yelled back at the lawyer. "Besides, you know that I got off on the wrong foot with Peridot when we were told to become friends!"

"Well, it looks like you have no choice but to do that all over again!" Cat replied without a shred of empathy for Lapis. "And in the meantime, I got you a new Peridot who will agree with everything you say!" She then presented Lapis with Squaridot that she pulled from the sides. "Say hi, Squaridot!"

Meanwhile, Peridot watched the confrontation between Lapis and Cat with a pair of binoculars, and to say she felt absolutely betrayed would be selling her heartbreak short. "So this is how Lapis repays me after all we've done together?" she mutters tearfully. "Just going to abandon me in favor of shipping Percy with that witch Paulette?!"

"Always sad to see someone go, isn't it?" Teal Zircon declared solemnly as she appeared behind Peridot. "But then again, you did interrogate her for info on the Crystal Gems a long time ago, so maybe she considers this karma."

"That was ages ago; we were past that!" Peridot yelled at Teal. "I'm sure by the time we win this war; everything will go back to normal like nothing happened, right?"

"I'm not too sure about it." Teal answered. "A betrayal of that magnitude is bound to be remembered for ages to come. Not even forgiving and forgetting can fix that in a pinch."

"I'd never expect someone like you to say that." Peridot replied. "Usually, you'd have some kind of adorable one-liner or unknowingly insensitive remark up your sleeve. What's gotten into you these past few days?"

"I've become very passionate about shipping thanks to you." Teal bluntly revealed. "Now come! We ride!"

"Oh, come on, where are those actors?" Pearl nervously asked as she impatiently paced around Little Homeworld, hoping for a miracle. "Edward said he'd be here today, but he's still taking forever!"

"Just be patient, Pearl." Garnet implored the ex-servant. "Besides, it's not like we have much time left. Look!" Garnet then pointed towards the Warp Pad, where the two warring ships were having an epic stand-off, an ominous calm washing over Little Homeworld as the war was about to begin.

"So, it looks like we had the same idea, Peridot." An equally betrayed Lapis coldly said to Peridot.

"It wasn't my intention; they made me join!" Peridot cried out. "They had a really catchy chant too."

"I was convinced because they thought I'd be useful in making their own version of Hunting Season." Lapis responded. "If you join our side, we can work on it together and be friends again."

"Enough talk!" Teal cut the barn mates' conversation short. "Now is the time for what everyone came here for."

"Oh, I couldn't agree more." Cat's Eye meowed while drawing her riding crop. "CHARGE!"

"COURAGE!" Teal replied as the two Gems' respective forces clashed in an all-out battle, while the Crystal Gems, Black Rutile, Aquamarine, and Eyeball all watched from the sidelines.

"Ooh, this is gonna get good!" Amethyst laughed before she pulled out some popcorn to eat while gazing at Eyeball's bucket. "I'm not sharing this."

"Good, I wasn't planning on sharing either." Eyeball responded.

"Oh, how I missed the senseless violence between so-called friends." Black Rutile sighed nostalgically.

"You're just saying that because one of your minions is leading a side!" Bismuth said in response. "And besides, isn't another one of them on the Percy/Pierre side?"

"Does it matter?" Black Rutile smirked as the Crystal Gems and the Rutile Rebels watched the carnage begin.

The Watermelon Tourmalines bounced everywhere as they worked together to crush their opponents. Desert Glass formed turrets out of the sand to fire upon the various quartzes. Beryl scampered across the battlefield to take her opponents by surprise and tickle them into submission. Nephrite was engaged in a catfight against Chrysocolla. Holly Blue swung her electric whip around to gain some distance from her foes. Army was pitted against all three of the other Rubies on the enemy side in a wrestling contest. Serpentine pounced on her foes while Grossular Diopside rode on her back. Yellow Pearl was all alone against Volleyball and Blue Pearl. Laz and Zuli were facing off once again, with tidal waves being summoned to take each other down. Bixbite tried cutting down the ice barrier Larimar and Snowflake Obsidian put up to protect Demantoid and Pyrope from harm. Emerald swung her club in Orange Spodumene's face, knocking her to the ground. Topaz, Monazite, Blue Chalcedony, Albite, the Cubic Zirconias, and Squaridot all worked together to keep their allies safe in the heat of battle. But at the center of it all was the epic clash between Teal & Peridot and Cat & Lapis.

"You just can't admit that you never cared for Percy and Pierre as characters!" Cat's Eye yelled while whipping away at Teal. "You don't want representation; you just think they should be a couple just because of how close they are!"

"And you just can't see Paulette for how abhorrent a character she is!" Teal responded while clashing with Cat using a makeshift sword. "She's an utter parasite who leeches off every other character because the writers love ensuring she's in the right all the time!"

"That is not true; you're desperate to see boys kissing!" Cat yelled back.

"You're better than this, Lapis; you must fight it!" Peridot urged her blue-hued partner. "Remember all the good times we shared watching CPH!"

"Well, the good times are over!" Lapis replied, yelling as she prepared to land the finishing blow when suddenly, a car horn honked, stopping the war cold.

"Who could possibly be interrupting our grand battle?!" Albite yelled before the car door opened, and out came Edward Christian, the actor behind Percy from Camp Pining Hearts.

"You know, when I was told there was a shipping war going on here, I did not expect a literal war." Edward dryly remarked before he was joined by his CPH co-stars, Bella Anastasia and Jacob Steele.

"Oh my goodness, you're finally here!" Pearl squealed in excitement as she charged towards the three celebrities and trapped Edward in a tight hug. "Saints be praised; please put an end to this madness!"

"Let me guess; this is about Percy, Pierre, and Paulette?" Jacob smirked before looking at the formerly warring Gems, now frozen in shock. "I should've known."

"Uh, hello there, alien fans." Bella waved to the Gems, who immediately stopped what they were doing and began hoarding around the trio.

"I can't believe it, Percy and Pierre in the flesh!" Holly Blue began frothing at the mouth in amazement before collapsing.

"Tell us, are you aware of how much everyone hates Paulette?!" Morganite asked.

"Can you sign this for me?!" Beryl shrieked eagerly as she presented her forearm to the trio.

"Calm down, everyone, one at a time!" Edward settled every Gem down. "Now, your Crystal Gem friends have called us today because they noticed a serious problem with you guys."

"Yeah, they just won't accept that not every pair consisting of a male and a female have to be a couple!" Teal said with an accusing finger towards Cat's side.

"And they won't realize the sexual tension between Pierre and Percy!" Cat added with a claw pointed at Teal.

"Oh goody, just as I feared." Bella rolled her eyes in annoyance before she turned to her male co-stars with a smirk. "Want to break out the secret weapon, boys?"

"I'll go first." Edward smiled before revealing a wedding ring on his finger. "As most of you may not know, I'm a married man. Can you guess to who?"

"It's Jacob, obviously!" Peridot declared. "If the actors aren't married, then it's obviously queerbaiting!"

"No, queerbaiting is when they advertise actual same-sex relationships only to not follow through with it!" Lapis objected. "Not getting mad whenever your favorite gay ship isn't made canon!"

"Oh, how wrong you are." Bella proclaimed as she and Jacob revealed wedding rings of their own. "All three of us are married to each other! We got hitched not too long ago after a reunion special."

"No way, you three are married?!" White Topaz's eyes widened in surprise and delight.

"I'll admit, I didn't see that coming at all." Garnet added, just as shocked that her future vision couldn't even predict what she had just heard.

"Oh, if all three of them are married, then I guess there's no point to this!" Teal exclaimed as she and Cat's Eye turned to each other and shook hands. "Let's all be friends again!"

"Oh yes, friends!" Cat sneered as the two sides united as friends once more, completely forgetting about the heartbreak, the betrayal, the strife, and especially the sheer insanity of the situation.

"Sorry I took this too far, Peri." Lapis nervously apologized to Peridot. "I'll admit it; I had no idea what I was thinking when we decided to go to war."

"Me neither." Peridot responded just as awkwardly. "Are we still friends, even if we have different opinions?"

"Sure, even though I don't really have any strong opinions on ships whatsoever." Lapis answered warmly before the two Gems hugged.

"Yep, polyamorous marriage works like a charm when you want to stop ship wars." Jacob grinned with his hands on his hips before turning to the Crystal Gems. "Thanks for inviting us here, Crystal Gems. You got a really colorful bunch of friends here, no pun intended."

"The pleasure is all ours." Garnet nodded. "You're free to come back anytime."

"We'd love to stay and do a little meet and greet, but we gotta get going." Ed said as he walked over to the rental car he and his partners used to reach Little Homeworld. "Come on, guys, let's rock and roll!"

"On second thought, I don't see us leaving anytime soon." Bella admitted as she peeked under the hood of the car. "The engine's been stolen!"

"What, but how?! And who?!" Jacob yelled as he rushed to the car, seeing the large gap where the engine should be. "And how did they steal it without any of us noticing?!"

"Well, at least you got more time to spend here." Peridot said to the three actors. "How does that meet and greet sound?"

"Eh, I got nothing better to do today." Edward shrugged. "Okay, who's up for autographs?!" The Gems all eagerly raised their hands as Edward began signing Camp Pining Hearts posters to hand out to everyone, uniting them all in their love for the series as Peridot had intended. However, the identity of the car engine thief was still a mystery to everyone, even though the thief in question had dark designs for the engine.

"The Crystal Gems have given me the perfect chance to add another ingredient to the Vortexxer's construction!" Black Rutile laughed maniacally as she put the car engine down on the floor. "Quick, someone help me hook this up!"

"Got it!" Eyeball exclaimed as she used a pair of jumper cables to connect the engine to the unfinished portal, causing the machine to briefly spark to life. "I can't believe it; I saw a light! That has to mean something good, right?"

"Indeed, we're almost finished." Black Rutile declared pridefully with her arms akimbo as she gazed at the soon-to-be-finished portal. "Just need to keep biding our time. I don't care who gets in our way! I don't care what it takes! Whatever is on the other side will finally help me win!"

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 7: Wet and Wild

It was a warm day at the Little Homeworld swimming pool, and Lapis was already working hard. She was working on hanging up a colorful sign saying "NEW LIFEGUARDS WANTED" on it in blue. "Hopefully, we can get some new employees around here." Lapis said to herself as she finished hanging the sign. "We've been a little short-staffed lately."

"Are you sure about that?" Aquamarine asked as she fluttered down and perched on a fence post. "I mean, what's the point of this place having a pool anyways when we can all just sink to the bottom of the water with no ill effects? Besides, it was only ever staffed with you and the other Lapides, to begin with, so why are you only now concerning yourself with more employees?"

"Well, one, we came up with the idea because some of us wanted to have fun." Lapis responded. "Something I'm sure you never heard of because your idea of fun is at others' expense. And second, there's only so much three Lapises can do, so maybe we could use a few extra hands around here."

"Hmph, I'd like to see you try." Aquamarine scoffed arrogantly as she flew away, no doubt to convene with Black Rutile on whatever she had planned. Lapis just rolled her eyes and turned to see Aquamarine's former ally Laz walk up beside her with extra uniform swimsuits for the new recruits.

"Aquamarine giving you trouble again?" Laz asked her old friend with a sneer.

"I swear, how did you tolerate her back when you two were minions of Black Rutile?" Lapis responded to her fellow terraformer.

"I didn't tolerate anyone; I wasn't even in with Black Rutile's endgame to begin with." Laz replied. "Sure, I was pissed at Steven for taking you away from me, but all I wanted was getting my friends back, that was all."

"Well, you still got what you wanted, at least." Lapis stated with a shrug as Zuli touched down beside her. "Hey Zu, found any willing participants?"

"Oh yeah, I think I got five to start with, a full house!" Zuli exclaimed excitedly. "So many Gems want to work with us!"

"Geez, that many?" Laz wondered. "We might as well become the cast of a reboot of Coast Patrol."

"Wasn't there already one a few years ago with that one wrestler guy who's basically everywhere?" Lapis asked. "What did they call him again? The Stone? The Boulder?"

"Eh, who cares?" Zuli declared nonchalantly. "Let's just get changed and get our recruits situated."

Within a few minutes, the recruits that Zuli had found were gathered at the pool and dressed in matching red bathing suits, all standing in a line before the three Lapis Lazulis.

"Good day, troops." Laz greeted the five applicants like a drill sergeant. "You may be wondering why we've gathered you all here on this fine day."

"If it's to model these suits, then I make this look good." Desert Glass purred and conjured herself a mirror out of sand to admire her figure in the uniform. "Still got it, Glassy."

"Who wanted this?" Emerald sourly complained. "I mean, who wanted us to strut around barely-clad in a facility that we realistically won't need?"

"Ooh, I love this idea already!" Orange Spodumene excitedly cheered. "I hope I get picked; then I can be near the water all the time!"

"I see you're excited." Pyrope smirked at the Spodumene. "And how about you, Topaz?"

"As much as I'd like to help people, I also have to agree with Emerald on this." Topaz said. "I mean, Gems don't really need to swim. We can just sink to the bottom with no ill effects."

"No need to worry, Topaz. We just need a few extra hands around here." Zuli said to Topaz before turning back to Laz. "Now, as you were saying?"

"Thank you, Zuli." Laz responded before turning back to the five recruits. "As I was saying, we have gathered you today because our community pool needs some extra staff. Though some might think we won't need any because we don't even need to swim, we choose to remain resolute in our decisions out of a desire to do good for our community. Are any of you willing to do the same for us and benefit Little Homeworld at large?"

"I am." Topaz answered brightly. "So, where do we start?"

"We shall start with a few basic exercises." Lapis stated while gesturing to the pool. "Make it all the way to the end of the pool and back without walking across the bottom. Got it?"

"Ooh, this should be fun!" Orange Spodumene said as she readily dove in and began expertly swimming across the water. "Come on in, girls, the water's great!"

"Fine, if you insist." Emerald said as she reluctantly walked over to the ladder and slowly climbed into the pool water now surrounding her. "Hey, this isn't too bad!" she exclaimed while trying to swim towards the other side of the water, finding herself enjoying the exercise for a bit until her natural biology began winning against her. "No, no, no, no, no!"

"Well, that's one down for the count." Laz declared as Emerald struggled to keep herself afloat. "And Orange Spodumene is still in the lead!"

"Probably because her whole thing is going underwater." Zuli analyzed while watching the former deep-sea explorer doing some water ballet in the pool. "Let's see how the others are doing."

"Why are you barely doing anything?!" Pyrope complained to Desert Glass, who continued showing off in her swimsuit while reclining on an airbed made of sand.

"Just showing off my immaculate beauty to all the others." Desert Glass smirked seductively. "Plus, I don't want to sink to the bottom and be trapped in the crushing darkness for all eternity."

"You're only saying that because you're living the high life on your little throne." Pyrope scoffed. "Let me guess, do you want some fancy food to complete the look?"

"Come on Pyrope, calm down and get swimming." Topaz tried to calm Pyrope down as she tried swimming as well and fighting against gravity while the Lapises watched.

"So, what do you think?" Zuli asked her co-lifeguards. "Pretty great roster I selected, huh?"

"You're right about that." Laz nodded appreciatively. "They could use a little work, though, like Glass should do a lot less slacking off and looking hot, and Emerald should complain less too."

"But at least Orange Spodumene is excited." Zuli added. "Plus, I think I can see Pyrope and Topaz enjoying themselves too." She then pointed towards the two Gems, who were trying their best to stay afloat compared to the rest.

"Hey, I think I'm getting it now!" Topaz cheered while slowly bobbing up and down. "Pyrope, you gotta check me out!"

"I'm trying Topaz," Pyrope called. "I just need to keep myself from sinking!" As Pyrope finished, she almost became submerged before fluttering her way back up with her fans. "Blasted fans, they can only be so thin!"

"Well, we got swimming out of the way now." Lapis declared with a clap of her hands. "Now, let's move on to more lessons."

"Next, let's move onto basic safety precautions." Zuli stated once the recruits were done swimming. "First off, no running so fast that you either slip and fall or knock others over and get them hurt. Can't be too careful!"

"Oh sure, can't be too careful when we're basically invulnerable!" Emerald sarcastically proclaimed. "Here, allow me to demonstrate your folly!" She then did exactly that by running around the pool at top speeds, laughing all the way. "See? Nothing wrong here!" Unfortunately, Emerald was quickly proven wrong when she accidentally bumped into Topaz and splashed into the water next to her before sinking straight to the bottom. "Oh, come on!"

"See? We warned you!" Zuli called out as Emerald climbed back out and shook out her hair. "If any of you pull off what Emerald just did, you'll be sorry!"

"We understand." The other recruits obediently chorused.

"Anything else we need to know?" Pyrope wondered. "Like, I don't know, maybe some CPR?"

"Here's another tip." Lapis answered. "If you see anyone drowning, or in this case struggling to get above water, race to their aid immediately and give them proper help."

"Here's an example!" Zuli exclaimed before she conjured up a hand from the pool water to grab Laz and pull her in.

"Hey, what the heck?!" Laz yelled while thrashing about in the water. "What was that for?!"

"Just giving an example here, Laz!" Zuli responded. "You can get out now!"

"Watch out for the creepy background music, and be on the lookout for air bubbles too!" Orange Spodumene cried, causing all the other Gems to look at her like she grew a few more heads. "What?

"You know, you could've done literally anything else as an example, Zuli." Laz hissed as she flew back out. "You know what, I have an idea. What don't we make a little change of scenery for our next lesson?"

"Ooh, does that mean we're going to the beach next?!" Orange Spodumene asked cheerfully.

"Oh, you bet we are!" Lapis replied just as eagerly. "Come on, guys, just follow us!"

"Woo!" the excitable lifeguard in training cheered before following her three tutors, with the other recruits trailing behind.

"Well, at least, hopefully, things will start looking up." Emerald snarked as she strolled alongside Pyrope.

"That reminds me, dearest Emerald, why did you decide to take this occupation?" Pyrope asked the former commander.

"I just had not much better to do." Emerald answered her ex-fellow Rutile Rebel. "Why did you join yourself, if I may ask?"

"I'm just leading a more active lifestyle." Pyrope proclaimed before turning to the others. "How about the rest of you?"

"I feel like using my occupation for a more noble purpose." Topaz said.

"I'm sure you know about my deal." Desert Glass smirked pridefully while tugging at the red material clinging onto her hips with a seductive look in her eyes.

"Mine too!" Orange Spodumene exclaimed as the group got closer to their destination. "Hey, I think I can already see the beach!"

"About time!" Topaz agreed with the plucky explorer as Beach City awaited them all, including its namesake beaches.

A few minutes later, the lifeguard team situated itself on an open patch of sand to continue the Lapides' lesson, all while being watched and lusted after by the surrounding beachgoers.

"Man, are those blue girls sisters or something?" a man muttered to his two friends. "Dibs on the freckled one!"

"I like the curly-haired one." The second man agreed before turning to the third one. "How about you?"

"Guess that leaves me with the third one." The third man declared by process of elimination.

"Guys, we have leerers at 4:00." Emerald groaned in irritation at their admirers. "Seriously, don't you all have jobs?!"

"Before we get distracted, let's discuss the most important part of being a lifeguard out here." Lapis stated before pointing toward a child swimming in the ocean. "Always helping people in need in the ocean."

"For example, if someone yells that they're drowning, you gotta race to save them!" Zuli added. "Oldest cliché in the book!"

"Okay, but what if someone isn't really drowning and just wants attention?" Pyrope asked with a raise of her hand.

"Just don't give them the time of day." Laz answered crossly. "Another one of the oldest cliches in the book!"

"So when can we start rescuing?!" Orange Spodumene asked. "I'm sure there are tons of people out here that need help!"

"Okay, I think we've said enough." Lapis declared. "Go ahead and start helping. We'll be watching and monitoring your progress." And just like that, the five lifeguards in training went out across the beach to perform their duties, helping others and relaxing under the waning summer sun. Desert Glass kept turning heads in her uniform, Topaz tried to look out for anyone who could possibly be drowning, Pyrope decided to get a tan, Orange Spodumene excitedly frolicked in the water, and Emerald sulked with her eye rolled as she stood thigh-deep in the ocean currents.

Meanwhile, a certain blue midget was about to make herself known again. Aquamarine fluttered down from above and perched on Lapis's head, wearing her signature smug grin. "Well, looks like someone's determined to uphold the most useless job in the world for Gems to take." Aquamarine taunted the three Lazulis with a sneer. "Seriously, whose idea was it to even have a pool in the first place?!"

"It was Peridot's idea, thank you very much!" Lapis began arguing with Aquamarine. "But now that I think about it, maybe she wasn't thinking with her head with that."

"I guess my point's been proven." Aquamarine replied smugly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to do things that are far more important and actually have a point to them."

"Okay, that's it!" Laz snapped at the ex-elite Gem as she made an arm emerge from the ocean and clutch Aquamarine in its hand. "Hey guys, here's someone you can save!"

"Laz!" Lapis and Zuli yelled at Laz as Aquamarine was dragged into the rough waves, making her unable to fly out herself.

"I'll make you pay for this!" Aquamarine yelled as she struggled to stay afloat.

"FLY UP!" Laz yelled from afar.

"But the waves, they won't let me!" Aquamarine continued calling.

"I SAID FLY UP!" Laz commanded again, yet when Aquamarine refused, she just groaned loudly and prepared to leave, only for Lapis to grab her shoulder.

"You started this!" Lapis exclaimed. "Therefore, you should help us fix this! Get everyone together and send them to save her!"

"Well, if you say so." Laz said before blowing her whistle, signaling the trainees to stop what they were doing and immediately race to their mentors. "Girls, we got a new lesson for you! Take everything you learned today and fix what I had done by saving Aquamarine!"

"Wait, how did she get there?" Topaz asked.

"I got sick of her and wanted to use her as a teaching assistant," Laz replied. "whether she liked it or not. Now go, go, go!"

"Okay, girls, planning time!" Topaz declared in response. "Spodumene, I'll need you to take Emerald and me out to sea to find Aquamarine! Pyrope, stay here with Desert Glass to give her proper treatment once she's back on land!"

"You have my word, big girl!" Desert Glass saluted proudly.

"Good luck, you three." Pyrope bid farewell to Topaz, Emerald, and Orange Spodumene as they raced to rescue Aquamarine from going under.

"Wow, they're all working together remarkably quickly." Zuli smiled with pride. "Did they always have it in them, or is it just spur of the moment?"

"Probably spur of the moment." Laz answered as the three Gems made it out to sea.

"You know, maybe angering a Lapis Lazuli was a horrible idea!" Aquamarine sputtered as she felt herself about to sink beneath the waves. "Somebody, help me!"

"Don't worry, Aquamarine, we're coming!" Topaz exclaimed as Orange Spodumene helped her and Emerald reach her via a boat made from OS's transparent membrane. "Just take my hand!"

"Wait, you?!" Aquamarine yelled at the thought of Topaz, the Gem who had been forced to pledge loyalty to the little Gem only to turn her back on her the first chance she got when Era 3 began, only now wanting to help her yet again. "You know what? I'm perfectly fine at the bottom of the ocean. Besides, I can just walk it off."

"Do you want us to help you, or do you want to sink?!" Emerald barked. "Because I'm more than happy to leave you here!"

"Listen, we're lifeguards, we'll always be here to help you!" Orange Spodumene exclaimed. "Just get on board!"

"Fine, if it'll make everyone shut up!" Aquamarine relented, took her former minion's massive, yellow hand, and was pulled onto the sticky boat. "Eugh, this vessel is so gross as well."

"I made it from my body!" Orange Spodumene cheerfully declared, grossing Aquamarine out even more as the seafaring Gem piloted her boat back to shore.

"Oh good, you're alright!" Pyrope cried in delight as Aquamarine was returned to shore. "Quick, hand her to me and Glass, and we'll treat her right!"

"I can walk by myself, you know!" Aquamarine yelled as Desert Glass conjured up a chair to place Aquamarine on while Pyrope pulled out a towel to dry her off. "Okay, I'm alive. What do you want me to say now?"

"I believe what you're trying to say is thank you." Lapis said to Aquamarine.

"Thank you?" Aquamarine asked quizzically.

"You're welcome." Laz scoffed. "Come on, don't we deserve a little credit for saving you?"

"Giving thanks to the enemy?! Well, I'd never!" Aquamarine yelled defiantly, but one look at Topaz's smile made her cave in just a little. "Okay, maybe Topaz deserves my respect for her leadership skills." She declared reluctantly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, screw you guys; I'm going home!"

"She's right. You all deserve congrats for your teamwork today!" Lapis agreed with Aquamarine as the three head lifeguards applauded their trainees. "I think you might just be ready for the big leagues now!"

"Woohoo!" Topaz cried excitedly.

"Oh my stars, we all made it!" Orange Spodumene exclaimed, all smiles and excitement.

"Well, it looks like we did it." Emerald declared with a proud smirk.

"Good for all of you." Pyrope agreed.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Desert Glass asked. "When do we start?"

A few days later, the five Gems were fully sworn in as lifeguards at the Little Homeworld pool, each rotating every hour with their superiors. Lapis would take the first shift; Topaz got the second shift, the third went to Zuli, the fourth to Laz, the fifth to Emerald, the sixth to Desert Glass, the seventh to Pyrope, and the final shift went to Orange Spodumene.

"Guess my time is up." Lapis said as she began flying away from the lifeguard chair. "You're up, Topaz!"

"Thanks, Lapis!" Topaz replied as she climbed onto her own chair, built specifically to fit her size. But as Topaz happily performed her duties, Aquamarine watched from a distance, perched upon Black Rutile's shoulder as the two spied on Topaz before turning to each other.

"You ever wanted another Topaz on your side?" Aquamarine asked her master with an evil smile.

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 8: The Krav Maga Gem

"You cannot defeat me, Jotaro Kaminashi!" the Iron Blazer Seto Itadori exclaimed as he and his rival Jotaro Kaminashi faced off in an epic martial arts tournament. "My weather magic level is over 9000!"

"It's true, you may have great power, but none compared to the power of friendship!" Jotaro replied bravely. "If it weren't for all of my friends that helped me get to this point, like Ujibe, Spiker, and Larry, I wouldn't be standing here today as your fierce opponent!"

"We love you, Jotaro!" Jotaro's primary female companion and love interest Ujibe cried out, her assets jiggling a little too much in her skimpy outfit.

"We're with you all the way!" Jotaro's childhood best friend Spiker added.

"You got this." Jotaro's incredibly manly mentor Larry said tersely with a thumbs up.

"Their love for me shall give me my strength!" Jotaro cried happily as he was bathed in a golden-brown aura. "Behold, my ultimate technique!"

"Is that so?" Seto smirked arrogantly as he powered up with an emerald-green aura. "Then check out my technique!"

"AUTUMN LEAVES BREATHING STYLE: RAKE FLECHETTE!" Jotaro screamed as the two rivals charged at each other before Jotaro launched a barrage of light construct knives.

"SPRING BREEZE OVERDRIVE: BUTTERFLY METAMORPHOSIS!" Seto bellowed as he formed a barrier around himself like a cocoon that broke apart to give him radiant butterfly wings.

"And yeah, that's Divine Fighters of Mother Nature." Lapis said as she introduced Teal Zircon to anime. "Which anime do you want me to show you next? Planet Chasers: Starlight Excellent is so addicting, you could watch it all day, every day."

"No, I wanna keep watching this!" Teal exclaimed as she became enraptured by the rivalry between Jotaro and Seto. "Man, this show is so exciting! The animation looks amazing, the music is killer, all the characters are so lovable in their own ways, and the fights! The fights!"

"Yeah, there's a reason why so many people call this one of the best shonen anime." Lapis smiled at Teal. "Glad to see you like it. Who's your favorite character?"

"I think I like Seto the most; he's just so cool!" Teal replied eagerly. "I want someone like him to be my rival! I want to become a butt-kicking fighter too!"

"You want a rival?" Lapis asked. "I'd like to see you last against one." Just then, her phone began ringing, and Lapis pulled it out to see the message she got. "Sorry, but I must go. The president is visiting today and wants to see all the Crystal Gems."

"Okay then, this arc is almost done anyways." Teal replied as she turned her attention back to the anime. "We're almost at the episode where the main villain Kurengo reveals himself to have been organizing the tournament this whole time! Oops, spoilers!"

"Naw, I've already seen this arc." Lapis responded. "No need to worry about spoiling." Before she could leave, however, the water Gem gave a foreboding warning to Teal. "Though I wouldn't get too attached to that cute referee girl if I were you."

"Somehow, I feel like that might be a bad thing." Teal nervously replied before turning back to the show.

"So then, I said, why the long face?" White Topaz joked to Jasper as they sat on a bench at Little Homeworld. "You get it, because horses have long faces?"

"You know, that honestly makes me think more about the anatomy of these horses." Jasper responded to her girlfriend's joke. "Why do they have such long faces? Is there some kind of evolutionary reason to it or something?"

"I don't think you're getting the joke." White Topaz bluntly declared before they heard a rustle in the bushes. "Hey, did you hear that?"

"Let me check." Jasper said before beginning to investigate the bush where the couple had heard rustling. To her surprise, there was nothing there. "Hmph, guess it must've been the wind or something." She muttered in realization before turning away. "So anyways-"

"HYAAAHH!" Teal Zircon let out a loud Kiai as she leaped out of the trees while dressed as a ninja in garish colors. "Jasper, I have come to challenge you!"

"Uh, can I help you, Teal?" Jasper asked, completely taken aback by the Zircon's change in personality.

"Nice getup, TZ!" White Topaz complemented Teal's goofy attire.

"Weren't you going to break our bond?! Jasper?!" Teal theatrically asked Jasper, making the latter even more confused.

"I feel like I'm missing something here," Jasper wondered. "But judging by your attire, I assume you wish to challenge me."

"Yes, I must defeat you, for you are my rival and the one thing keeping me from becoming the president of the ninjas!" Teal exclaimed as she produced a kunai from her sleeve. "Now come and face me, and let us decide if our insurmountable tension means we're actually in love with each other!"

"Have you been watching anime with Lapis lately?" Paz asked Teal. "I feel like some of those shonens are getting to your head."

"The only thing in my head is the drive to win!" Teal exclaimed as she pulled out an MP3 player to play a poorly dubbed anime opening for her fight with Jasper.

"DRIVE TO WIN! DRIVE TO WIN!" the player yelled as Teal struck a pose and beckoned Jasper to bring it on. "THE ONLY THING IN MY HEAD IS THE DRIVE TO WIN!"

"This should be good for a laugh." Jasper rolled her eyes and charged at Teal. "RAAAARGH!"

"I have been training all my life, yes, all my life! All that time I spent was for the purpose to FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!" Teal's player continued singing in a ridiculous accent as Jasper started running circles around her opponent, not even bothering to land a real hit on Teal as a way of humoring the Zircon. "If you want power, say it with me now! All you gotta do is eat RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT! Always have a good meal three times a day; that will give you the DRIVE TO WIN!"

"Do you even wanna fight?!" Teal yelled as she tried to keep Jasper on her toes, despite the quartz's lack of interest in their battle. "It's like you don't even care that the fate of the planet is at stake!"

"You've been watching too much TV." Jasper smirked in response. "But if you want to fight, then allow me to give it my all."

"About time, too!" Teal smirked and conjured up an energy ball in her hand. "FAMILY JEWEL FLASH!" Unfortunately, Jasper punched her square in the face before she could launch the attack and sent her flying to the ground. "I have seen raccoons and oysters dancing in the head of a pin with the angels." TZ babbled in a daze. "They are laughing!"

"Geez, Jasp, you didn't need to hit her that hard." White Topaz said as she helped Teal up.

"Hard? I was going easy on her!" Jasper exclaimed as she marched over to TZ. "Look, Teal, you may think I was being harsh, but your spirit and determination honestly made me think you have potential." She said to her fallen opponent. "The only problem is that you're way over your head way too often. Try and fix that, and we'll have a rematch, okay?"

"You're right!" Teal declared. "I need proper training; I need a training arc!" That was when she got an idea. "I need to find the Gems! Lapis said they were meeting with the president, right?"

"Yeah, I think I heard they were gathering at the temple in Beach City." Jasper answered, but she didn't even have time to finish before Teal raced towards the local Warp Pad to the beach house. "Hey, if you want a rematch later, you know where to find me!" she hollered at the Zircon.

"Now, you may wonder why we have brought you together today." President Eduardo Suarez said to the Crystal Gems as he, his vice president Theresa Maxwell, and the major general Wade Grant sat down with the Gems at the beach house. "Well, it's to discuss your celebrity status."

"Despite all the good you've done and the praise we've showered you with, it seems you got yourselves a few detractors that believe Black Rutile was actually innocent and deserves better." Theresa said while pulling out her phone to show the Crystal Gems the various uses of #BlackRutileWasRight on social media. "Though thankfully, it's mostly used by incels, conservatives, homophobes, skinheads, conspiracy theorists, users utilizing the tag to fantasize about their favorite Korean boy bands, etc."

"Oh yeah, I think I've seen one of those incels before." Amethyst said. "Some misogynist loser named Andre Kate who's been making a name for himself for his videos about how much he hates women."

"Honestly, how can anyone take him seriously?" Pearl sighed in disgust at the man Amethyst had just described.

"I think we should be more concerned about this." Garnet forebodingly proclaimed.

"No need to worry, Garnet." Wade assured the fusion while gently stroking both Cat Steven and Lion. "At the moment, they don't mean any long-term harm, just cancel culture at work here. I mean, it's not like they're going to form an army against you, right?"

"We already have to deal with Black Rutile and the Gems who agreed with her." Bismuth responded. "But humans who agree with her?! That's a whole different ballpark entirely!"

"I'm gonna have to agree with Bismuth on this one." Lapis added. "Who knows what these mindless sheep can do when they're all brought together?!"

"Probably some obnoxious complaining." Peridot smirked deviously. "Let's be real, it's the Internet! They'll always submit to whoever has the most amount of followers."

"You are indeed correct." Eduardo agreed with the little green Gem just as the Warp Pad hummed, and from the beam of light came a panicky Teal Zircon.

"Oh, Teal, what brings you here?" Lapis asked Teal.

"GUYS, I TRIED CHALLENGING JASPER TO A FIGHT, BUT I GOT UTTERLY WASTED, AND NOW I FEEL LIKE SHE WANTS A REMATCH!" Teal screamed loud enough to blow everyone's hair back. "WHICH ONE OF YOU CAN TRAIN ME TO BE A COOL ANIME MARTIAL ARTIST?!"

"Calm down, Teal, it'll be okay." Garnet settled the Zircon's anxieties with just a hand on her shoulder as TZ gazed into Garnet's visor. "If you'd like, I can give you a few instructions on how to fight."

"No need, Garnet." Theresa laughed with a snort as she got up and put a hand on Teal's shoulder. "What's your name, junior, Teal? Nice name. It really fits your color. Well, allow me to be your combat instructor!"

"You, my master?" Teal tilted her head in confusion. "But you look like a cool, funny businesslady, not a fighter."

"That's where you're wrong!" Theresa smirked with pride. "I'm not just a vice president of the United States; I'm also a black belt in Krav Maga from my years studying abroad when I was but a wee spunky college girl."

"That reminds me, you still owe me a sparring match!" Amethyst replied to Theresa.

"Oh, don't worry, little grape, you'll get your chance soon." Theresa smirked at the overcooked Gem with doe eyes before turning back to Teal. "So, whaddya say? Wanna come with me back to my place in DC to train with me?"

"Are you kidding me?! I'm in!" Teal replied eagerly at the prospect of training with an experienced fighter. "When do we start?!"

"Now, Teal, promise us that you'll behave yourself with Ms. Maxwell." Garnet ordered Teal. "She's the vice president and your mentor, so it's best to treat her as she would treat you."

"Yeah, you're lucky!" Amethyst added.

"Have fun, you two!" Pearl agreed. "And Theresa, try to keep an eye on Teal too. She can get very excitable and a little easily distracted."

"Oh, stuff and nonsense!" Teal scoffed at Pearl. "I have an excellent-" She was then interrupted by a wayward fly buzzing around her face. "Oh, look at that."

Once the meeting between the president and the Gems concluded, Teal Zircon was on her way to Number One Observatory Circle in Washington DC, where Theresa lived as part of her duties as vice president of the USA. It is also where Teal would be living as part of her Krav Maga training. Needless to say, Teal was absolutely excited to come along.

"So, do you live here all by yourself?" Teal asked as Theresa welcomed the Gem into her home. "I thought most vice presidents were married."

"Eh, didn't have enough time to get hitched, kid." Theresa answered. "Which means I get this whole house to myself! Aside from my own staff to keep the place running, of course."

"Lucky you!" Teal replied while bouncing up and down. "So when do we start training?"

"Just give me some time to freshen up and change before we begin." Theresa answered as she undid her hair and walked away. "Make yourself at home in the meantime."

"Okay!" Teal obeyed and sat down at a nearby chair, looking for something to do. All around her were various memorabilia dedicated to Theresa's achievements throughout her life, both before and after she became vice president. Spelling bee trophies, high school and college diplomas, world records broken, modeling for magazine covers, it seemed to Teal that her new mentor had enough stories to tell to last her ages.

"Alright, kiddo, I'm back." Theresa announced while walking back to her new pupil; her pantsuit now exchanged for a standard Krav Maga uniform. "Now, a few ground rules for Krav Maga. This martial art is about being aggressive, efficient, and above all else, being the last one standing. In Layman's terms, strike first, strike hard, no mercy, as a wise man once said."

"So this isn't anything like karate or kung-fu, then?" Teal asked.

"Far from it, starry eyes!" Theresa exclaimed. "Heck, some of the moves you'd learn would get you kicked out of an average martial arts contest! You said you wanted to be cool? Well, this will make you cool!"

"Well, what are we waiting for?!" Teal cheered impatiently. "Let's hit each other!"

"If you say so." Theresa declared and spread out her arms. "Hit me." Teal did just that and punched her in the chest. "Ooh, really strong! Hit me again!" The Zircon did as she was told by hitting Theresa in the chest again. "Okay, one more time!"

"I'm getting pumped up already!" Teal excitedly said as she kept punching Theresa. "What do I do next, master?!"

"Good to see you're getting into the swing of things, kiddo!" Theresa grinned before handing the Zircon a sponge, a bucket of water, and some wax. "Gonna need you to wax the car for me. You can't miss it; it's the fancy one out front!"

"She's a Buick!" TZ complimented the vice president's maroon-red automobile.

"A Bel-Air Prince 1990, actually." Theresa responded. "Won it at an auction against Will Smith back in 2014. Yes, that Will Smith."

Moments later, TZ was working hard on waxing the Bel-Air Prince, still wearing her Krav Maga uniform while Theresa changed into a casual T-shirt and shorts and was drinking some pop.

"Keep it coming, squirt!" Theresa urged TZ to keep working while taking another sip of soda. "And remember, wax on, wax off!"

"Is this part of my training?" Teal asked her mentor. "Will this help me with strength and muscle memory?"

"That's for you to decide." Theresa replied grinningly. "That reminds me, I've got some more things for you to do."

The next task Teal was ordered to do was to help Theresa with her laundry for the day, sticking various suits, shirts, pants, and other assorted clothing items into the many washing machines lined the basement walls.

"Hey, has anyone ever stuffed themselves into one of these before?" Teal asked after loading some clothes into one of the washers and closing the door. "Bet you a dollar that you can do it!"

"Oh please, I'm not that stupid!" Theresa scoffed with a snort. "Plus, I'm way too big to fit in one of those. But I bet you can, though!"

"Oh, you're on!" Teal dared as she shoved herself into a nearby machine. "Now wash me up, sista!" Theresa grinned as she turned the machine on, taking the Gem for a sopping wet ride as she was sent tumbling around the washer. "WHOOOO!"

"Just tell me when to stop, Teal; we got more work to do." Theresa called from outside as Teal continued tumbling and started getting wet.

"Ooh, I bet it's more training disguised as chores!" Teal exclaimed, though Theresa could barely hear her from outside the machine since it was starting to fill up with water. "I wonder what I'll do next!"

Soon after, Teal and Theresa were hitting the pool after the fun they had in the laundry room came to an unfortunate end. While Theresa was catching some rays in a yellow designer bikini that revealed her amazing curves, Teal, on the other hand, was turned into a makeshift pool-Gem who scooped debris out of the water.

"So what's this for, hand-eye coordination?" TZ asked as she fished out leaves, sticks, dead bugs, and other gross things from the ordinarily pristine pool. "Because I'm not sure if I like this. Everything in here is so grody!"

"Hey, gotta make tough choices for good reasons!" Vice President Maxwell replied as she took a sip of her drink. "Maybe later. Can you be a doll and give me some sunscreen? Summer's winding to a close, and I want to get every bit of sun I can still absorb!" Teal frowned in resignation as she started getting suspicious of her mentor's true motives.

Eventually, the afternoon turned into evening, which meant it was time for dinner at Washington. And of course, Teal was tasked with making the night's meal for her and Theresa to eat. While chopping up vegetables, Teal was greeted by more vegetables being tossed at her, and she cut them up with extreme precision. "Nice throw there, but what was that for?"

"If you can dodge a tomato, you can dodge a big, orange Amazon!" Theresa declared as she prepared another veggie to throw. "So, how's that Greek salad coming along?"

"I'm not even sure what I'm doing here." TZ replied, gazing down at her attempt at dinner, which looked like stuff she haphazardly threw together and nearly burnt to a crisp. "Uh, you want something microwaved instead?"

"Eh, accidents happen, buddy." Theresa remarked at Teal's failed Greek salad. "You up for frozen mac and cheese?"

"Oh, heck yeah!" Teal answered excitedly, glad to sit down to dinner at last with her master.

Once dinner wrapped up, Theresa felt like taking a shower and invited Teal to join her. Under the belief that she would do more chores for the vice president, Teal readily accepted and was positively enamored with how opulent she discovered the bathroom to be.

"Zoo-wee-mama, this place is huge!" TZ gasped in awe as Theresa stepped into the shower. "You must be super lucky to have a place like this!"

"Why, thank you." Theresa smirked as she peeked her head out of the shower. "Now, would you be a doll and help me in here? I got some parts on my back that I just can't reach. My old lady arms can only stretch so far."

"You got it, hoss!" Teal willingly complied with a stuck-out tongue and quickly joined her teacher in the shower to help wash her back. "So what's this for, knowing which weak points to exploit on your enemy?"

"Uh, sure? Why not?" Theresa laughed nervously as she scrubbed her hair with shampoo, making Teal more suspicious as she continued with the vice president's back.

The following day, there were more chores for Teal Zircon to do, which she still assumed to be part of her Krav Maga training, though now she was slowly starting to get wise to the fact that Theresa was possibly using her. This time, she was told to tend to the garden room by watering flowers, throwing out dead flowers that have long since worn out their welcome, and helping new ones grow in the proper conditions.

"Ooh, these are some pretty rare ones you got here." Teal complimented Theresa's assortment of flowers. "Ooh, are these blue puyas you got here?!"

"Yeah, actually had to go out to Chile to find these bad boys." Theresa replied. "How do you know about these?"

"I take horticulture classes with Peridot. It comes with the territory." TZ answered while watering the blue puyas, noticing some jade vines hanging nearby. "And those have got to be jade vines! You're quite the explorer, aren't you?"

"Thanks for noticing, sport!" Theresa accepted the compliment with a smile. "I'm a real Poison Ivy here. Not the plant, in case you're wondering."

"Thank the stars." Teal began laughing at Theresa's declaration, but despite her reverie, she knew at some point she needed to ask the master she's had since yesterday about her motives.

Though Teal had fun spending time with Theresa and doing chores together, there had to come to a point where she needed to put her foot down and demand some real Krav Maga training, which came in the form of being told to take out the garbage.

"Wait, you want me to throw out HOW MUCH?!" Teal yelled as she gazed upon the massive amounts of trash piled up before her and Theresa.

"Come on, Teal, you Gems are strong; you can take it!" Theresa replied, unaware that it was time for Teal to stop playing along and say her peace.

"Okay, I think I've just about had enough time before I wanted to ask this." Teal declared as she turned to Theresa. "Are you sure this is real Krav Maga training, or are you just forcing me to do all your chores for you?"

"Took you long enough to ask that, huh?" Theresa frowned with a cross of her arms. "Well, to be honest, yeah. I was training you this whole time, but I also needed someone to do all the heavy lifting since I gave the staff time off for a bit and somebody had to fill in. And coincidentally, you were just the one to do it!"

"So all this time, I was never training to fire giant lasers from my hands, stretch my body like rubber, summon a ghost to do my fighting for me, turn into a living weapon, and all that cool anime stuff?" Teal asked, utterly disappointed by the answer she got when Theresa put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"You still think martial arts is all cool anime stuff?" Theresa wondered soothingly. "It's adorable how people keep thinking everything they see on TV is real. But no, martial arts is more about learning to fight back, feeling more confident in yourself, and gaining some self-discipline too." She then started to get a little nostalgic. "In fact, you kinda remind me of me when I first started training."

"Ooh, are you going to tell me a backstory?!" Teal asked excitedly.

"You bet, and it's a long and awesome story too." Theresa responded as she began to tell her tale. "Got any gum? Anyways, it all started when I was a rowdy college kid a few decades ago."

Many years ago, during the 1990s, future vice president Theresa Maxwell was a spunky, tomboyish college student from Empire City studying at Empire State University who decided to travel abroad for the first semester of her senior year. She chose to study in Israel for her political science major and lived with a friendly nuclear Jewish family during her time there, but a trip to the market would soon change Maxwell's life forever.

"Thank you for your time, miss." A shopkeeper thanked Theresa as she walked away with some bread she had purchased from him.

"You're welcome!" the young college girl responded as she moved her way through tons of shopping Jews and Muslims crowded around her, restricting her free range of movement. "Hey, uh, can you all please move out of the way? I have to get home to my host family." Just then, however, she saw a pack of thugs menacing an old man nearby, and she felt it necessary to stand up for the senior citizen. "Hey, get away from him, you guys! You should respect your elders!"

"Hey, who gave you the right to boss us around, white girl?!" the leader of a bunch of snobby tourists yelled at Theresa. "I mean, it's not like you're the president, and it's now illegal for us to ask for directions!"

"Actually, I'm majoring in political science, so maybe I could become president." The future vice president smirked. "And I don't care if you were just asking for directions; there's no need to gang up on the elderly like that!"

The leader of the muggers smirked. "Okay, you asked for it." He snapped his fingers, cuing his two cronies to start ganging up on the college student, who had now just realized she had made a huge mistake.

"Uh, I surrender?" Theresa squeaked and pretended to wave a white flag before the two muggers started beating her up, giving the girl no chance to try and fight back.

"Wait, leave her alone!" the old man exclaimed before the leading tourist stopped him.

"We only wanted to ask for directions to the nearest church!" the tourist yelled at the geezer. "This all could've been avoided if you just listened to us!"

"Okay, it's down the street, and to your right, just let her go!" the old man hurriedly exclaimed, and with another snap of the tourist's fingers, his two cronies stopped torturing Theresa.

"Thank you for your time, good sir." The lead tourist grinned as he and his followers left the old man and the unconscious Theresa behind. "Friggin' foreigners."

"Oy gevalt, tourists." The old man shook his head in disgust before looking down at the comatose political science major at his feet. "Come, young lady, you need to rest." Scooping the girl in his arms, the elder carried her away from the market back to his home.

"Mmm, Day of Unity, Raine, human junk." Theresa muttered about an hour later as she rolled around before jolting awake. "Whoa, girls, you would not believe the dream I had!" she exclaimed like she was talking to her dormmates back in America. "I was a witch in this hellhole of an alternate dimension with a human apprentice, a bratty little demon son, and a crush on this cute band geek; I had a sister who cursed me to turn into a monster, and this creepy fascist Puritan wanted to kill us all!" As Theresa regained consciousness, she realized she wasn't in her dorm room with her three female roommates anymore. "Wait, this isn't Empire State."

"Hey you, you're finally awake." The old man from earlier said as he made his guest a light meal to recuperate with. "First of all, thank you for trying to help me out against those tourists. Americans, am I right?" Theresa just glared at him. "Oh, my mistake. And second, welcome to my home. What's your name, my dear?"

"Theresa Maxwell." Theresa introduced herself as she got off the bed the old man had placed her unconscious body on and received her meal. "I'm an Empire State University student studying political science and visiting here for the semester. I got three roommates back in the USA waiting for me named Carolyn, Victoria, and Lilith. What's your name, stranger?"

"My name is of no importance, Theresa." The old man answered. "But if you want, you can call me Dan."

"Okay, Dan." Theresa responded as she sat down to eat. "Why did you save me back there? I mean, I'm just as basic a college girl as you can get."

"Because regardless of your status, I can see you have a good heart and a desire to protect others." Dan responded while tracing a heart shape on Theresa's chest. "However, you can sometimes get in over your head and get yourself into trouble. However, some say that the path to peace begins with a friendly ear. You said you're studying political science, right? Do you intend to use that knowledge to help the less fortunate?"

"You bet I do!" Theresa exclaimed while slamming her hands on the table. "I dream of working for the government not because I'm some power-hungry lunatic who'll make the world worse than it already is, but because I want to make people feel good. And seeing everyone feel good just makes me feel good too!"

"There's that good heart I noticed." Dan beamed warmly. "Perhaps I can help you learn how to defend others and especially yourself better. Have you ever heard of Krav Maga?"

"What is that, some kind of weapon?" Theresa asked curiously.

"No, it is a form of martial art that I learned from my days in the Suez Crisis." Dan explained. "It is all about being aggressive, efficient, and above all else, being the last one standing. Or as I put it, strike first, strike hard, no mercy."

"Hey, just like in that movie!" Theresa's eyes lit up in awe upon hearing of Krav Maga for the first time. "You know, you're starting to remind me of that handyman guy."

"Is that so?" Dan smirked as he got up. "Well, let me show you how that handyman pales compared to me." He suddenly leaped into the air and dove down to grab Theresa by the neck, forcing her into a chokehold. "This is exactly what I spoke of! Strike first, strike hard, no mercy!"

"I see your point!" Theresa gasped for air while trying to free herself from the old master's grasp. "So, you gonna train me or what?!"

"Of course." Dan smiled and finally let his new student go.

For the remainder of Theresa's semester in Israel, she balanced her studying and spending time with her host family with rigorous Krav Maga training under Master Dan. He had set some decently high expectations for his new pupil. Theresa worked diligently to meet those expectations, but no matter how much she tried, there were many obstacles that she kept stumbling over.

"Theresa, quit laying around and get back to work!" Dan yelled and whapped Theresa with a stick. "I swear, I expected better from you, young lady!"

"I'm sorry, sir, I expected better of myself as well!" Theresa replied with a nervous bow. "It's just so draining to try being perfect all the time, but I can't stop making mistakes."

"Then make as many mistakes as you'd like." Dan advised. "For they are opportunities to learn. For example, you keep making the mistake of slacking off, yet that could also be a lesson about learning to be attentive to your surroundings."

That day, Theresa took those words to heart for the rest of her training with Dan, using them to master her reflexes and timing when it comes to disarming opponents at the flick of the wrist. However, like most things, her training had to come to an end when the semester ended, and she had to return to the States.

"Goodbye, Mr. and Mrs. Apu. Thank you for taking me in." Theresa began saying goodbye to her host family at the airport. "Goodbye, Iman and Kam. You were like the little brother and sister I never had."

"Uh, Theresa, I think there's someone else here to see you." Mr. Apu said as he noticed Master Dan approaching Theresa.

"He's standing right behind me, right?" Theresa asked rhetorically.

"Actually, I'm right next to you." Dan chuckled sneakily as he made Theresa jump in surprise. "Though it's a shame our time ran short, and you have to return to America, I will always remember the time we spent together, my girl. Good luck with your major, and be sure to remember me when you become president or something."

"Actually, I'm thinking more vice president, but yeah, me too." Theresa smiled sweetly as she gave her Krav Maga master one last hug goodbye. "Man, I can't wait to tell the girls back home about my time here!"

"Oh, and one more thing." Dan said before he reached behind his back and presented his student with a yellow Krav Maga belt. "For you, as a reminder of how far you've come. Maybe someday you can even become a black belt."

"You can bet on that." Theresa snorted as she stashed the belt in her backpack before remembering the time. "Oh, cheese and crackers, my flight's almost ready to take off! Gotta run!" She immediately raced off to catch her flight in time, hurriedly waving goodbye to her Israelian friends as she ran.

"Okay, this is a pretty nice story, but what does this have to do with my training?" Teal asked as Theresa finished her story.

"Well, to be frank, I just felt like telling that story, hoping I'd pass old Dan's lessons onto someone else." Theresa proclaimed. "But my point stands. I was a lot like you when I started my training. I thought I could talk big when I just got in way over my head. Maybe after hearing all that, we could start some real training."

"Finally!" Teal cheered. "Hey, can we do a few rounds on the trash first since we still have that to do?"

"Sure, go ahead." Theresa agreed, and the two got into a fighting stance to take on the massive amounts of trash together. It was here where Teal got the proper Krav Maga training she wanted all along, utilizing what she did in the chores Theresa made her do and mixing them with what Theresa was teaching her now. Before Teal knew it, she felt like she was ready to face Jasper in an epic rematch.

"You feel ready for this, Teal?" Theresa asked Teal Zircon as the two were driven back to Little Homeworld in a presidential limousine. "You sure you don't wanna go back and do a few more warmups?"

"No, I'm ready. No need to worry so much." Teal answered resolutely as the limo got closer to Little Homeworld. "All I need is all you've trained me to do and my drive to win."

"Miss Maxwell, we have arrived." The driver announced as Teal looked around the car windows to discover numerous Gems gathering around the vehicle in awe. "And Miss Zircon, happy fighting."

"Well, this is it." Teal smiled at her master as she prepared to get out of the car. "Wish me luck."

"You got this, sweetheart." Theresa smiled back as Teal stepped out of the limo and immediately made herself known.

"JASPER! I AM HERE!" Teal roared for her rival, taking the crowd aback. "JASPER, FACE ME!"

"Is that Teal?" Pearl whispered to the other Crystal Gems. "What has she been up to with Theresa?"

"I like this new Teal!" Amethyst exclaimed in delight.

"Hopefully, this won't end up like last time." Garnet responded.

"Jasper, do you fear me?!" Teal kept asking Jasper to show herself, but she still got no answer.

"Is Jasper keeping us waiting for dramatic effect, or is she just not going to show up?" Lapis wondered as the Gems got more and more impatient.

"Come on! Somebody throw a punch already!" Peridot yelled before they noticed a shadow flying overhead.

"Hey, is that-" Bismuth began when White Topaz cut her off.

"It is!" White Topaz exclaimed before Jasper landed on the ground, creating a small crater beneath her feet.

"I am here!" Jasper boomed as she prepared for her long-awaited rematch. "Took you long enough to come crawling back. And I hear you got a little training in too."

"Just like you wanted, you big orange Amazon." Teal responded while clenching her fists and putting up her dukes. "It's clobbering time!"

"Now we're talking." Jasper beckoned Teal to come and get her as the epic showdown began.

"Round one, begin!" Theresa's driver yelled to commence the battle. Teal made the first move, pouncing straight at Jasper and clawing at her face. Jasper retaliated by snatching Teal by the waist and smashing her to the ground, surprising their audience.

"Whoa, right off the bat, neither of them is showing a shred of mercy!" Amethyst commentated on the match. "But it looks like Teal might have a bit of an edge on her!"

"Goongala, goongala!" Teal chanted as she got up and pulled on Jasper's hair before spinning her around. "GOONGALA!" She then threw Jasper into the air, causing the quartz to crash into the whirly-bird tower, but Jasper managed to bounce back and tackle Teal to the ground, sealing her victory.

"Round one, Jasper wins!" the driver yelled. "Now, round two! Begin!"

"Don't get too cocky!" Teal declared before she gave Jasper a mean headbutt that rendered her temporarily incapacitated, allowing the Zircon enough time to regain her bearings as Jasper shook her head. "Come at me, bro!"

"I have to admit; we certainly are evenly matched." Jasper grimaced. "But you just trained with a human for only a day. I, on the other hand, have been fighting since the day I was created, and I've forever known what you fail to understand! STRENGTH ALWAYS PREVAILS!"

"Teal, look out!" Theresa yelled for Teal, but she was too late. Jasper summoned her crash helmet and rammed straight into the Zircon from behind. One wrong move, and Teal would've been poofed on the spot. Instead, Jasper merely smashed her to the ground again.

"Round two, Jasper wins!" the driver yelled again. "Final round, begin!"

"So, are you ready to give up yet, TZ?" Jasper growled while grabbing Teal by her collar. "Or do you still have that drive to win, as you call it?" Teal did not answer, instead wearily looking towards the worried Theresa Maxwell and giving her a soft grin. "WIPE THAT GRIN OFF YOUR FACE!"

"Someone, play my song." Teal croaked out a request. White Topaz's eyebrows perked up, and she immediately pulled out her phone, somehow knowing just which song the Zircon her girlfriend was fighting wanted.

"DRIVE TO WIN! DRIVE TO WIN!" the phone began blaring. "THE ONLY THING IN MY HEAD IS THE DRIVE TO WIN!"

"Wait, is that-" Jasper wondered before she was grabbed by the neck, and her face soon wiped the ground.

"Wax on, wax off!" Teal yelled as the song continued. "Wash cycle!" She then hoisted Jasper into the air and started spinning her in the air.

"I have been training all my life, yes, all my life! All that time I spent was for the purpose to FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!" the phone kept singing as Teal started jabbing Jasper in the eyes while crying out "POOL BOY!"

"Where did this come from?!" Jasper yelled at the sheer ridiculousness of the names for Teal's moves as she was chopped in the face, followed by being stomped in the back.

"She's really learned." Theresa beamed with pride as Teal went for the finishing blow.

"If you want power, say it with me now! All you gotta do is eat RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT! Always have a good meal three times a day, that will give you the DRIVE TO WIN!" The song finished just as Teal tossed Jasper into the air, grabbed her mid-descent, and spun around while slamming Jasper facefirst into the ground.

"ROUND THREE, TEAL ZIRCON WINS!" the driver declared, sealing Teal's victory as the other Gems celebrated their friend's victory.

"I have to admit; you really were unpredictable in that last round." Jasper coughed while getting up and brushing herself clean. "Maybe you are a good fighter after all."

"Hey, you weren't so bad yourself, y'know." Teal responded as the two bowed with respect to each other.

"Hm, for someone so simple-minded, she's quite strong and charismatic." Black Rutile mused to herself as she blended in with the jubilant Gems. "That Zircon could be very useful to have on my side." Without anyone else noticing, Black Rutile seemingly vanished into thin air.

Later that day, as the celebrations finally ended and everyone returned to their regular routines, it was time for Theresa to leave her student behind so she could return to Washington. "I have to admit, kid, you really took me by surprise there."

"You said it." Jasper smirked at the vice president. "Who knew humans could be so skilled?"

"It was very nice of you to take Teal in so she can learn to defend herself better." Garnet thanked Theresa. "While she was pretty capable on the battlefield in the Rebellion, it was mostly thanks to her illusions that she was able to keep herself from getting shattered."

"Wait, illusions?" Theresa asked. "How come I never knew about that? And how is that possible?"

"Oh, it's just something I can use thanks to this bracelet I keep hidden under my sleeve." Teal stated as she pulled back her sleeve to reveal a dark green-colored bracelet with a blue gem decorating it. "Wanna see what it can do?" With a press on the gem, Teal conjured up a horse head that landed in Theresa's hands. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"Yeah, that's great." Theresa nervously said as she dropped the fake horse head and spread her arms out for a hug. "You really made me proud. Now, how about a hug, sweetie?" Teal immediately took up the offer, and the two women squeezed each other tight for what felt like ages for them.

"Aw, she's made a new friend." Pearl cooed at the adorable sight before the two let go, and Theresa prepared to return to the limo, but one thing was still missing.

"HEY!" Amethyst yelled at Theresa from behind, making the vice president turn around to face the little purple Gem. "You still owe me a little one-on-one!"

"Well, I'm a woman of my word." Theresa smirked at Amethyst as she took off her suit jacket and took a fighting stance. "Just gotta warn you, these designer heels aren't just made for walking!"

"Oh, it is on!" Amethyst replied as she shapeshifted into a stereotypical martial artist with a sleeveless black gi, a white headband, and a matching-colored belt. "Don't expect a flawless victory for you!"

"You're in for a real fatality yourself." Theresa smiled as the two women charged at each other, ready for a fight.

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 9: To Err is Human

Little Homestead, Delmarva was much like any other small American town. Everybody knew each other's names, community get-togethers were a frequent affair, and most of its residents have lived there all their lives. However, one family that had just moved to town from the big city would prove to change its youth forever.

The Topaz family, consisting of husband-and-wife Ash and Lauren, their teenage daughter Whitney and young son Kenny, had moved into town from Riverdale, Empire State, over the weekend after Ash got an assignment from his boss Hiram Lodge to expand Lodge Industries' influence across the Mid-Atlantic. This meant Whitney had to leave her wholesome friends behind. Though it was tough to say goodbye, Whitney always knew she'd be a stone's throw away from seeing them again whenever she liked.

"Hi-diddly-ho, new neighborino!" the Topazes' new neighbor Ted greeted them on a warm September morning.

"You must be Ted Sanders, I presume." Ash Topaz replied as he shook Ted's hand. "Ash Topaz, my family and I came here from Riverdale last Saturday."

"Oh, my land, Riverdale?" Ted gasped in elation. "Home of Lodge Industries?!"

"Yep, that's the one." Ash smiled. "I moved the fam here under Hiram's orders, which reminds me. I should probably introduce them to you some time."

"Oh, my boys, the missus, and I would love to meet you!" Ted smiled. "Hey, that reminds me, shouldn't your youngins be getting ready for school right now?"

"Shoot, thanks for the heads up!" Ash gasped in realization. "Talk to you later, okay?"

"My door's always open!" Ted replied as Ash raced back inside his house to get his kids ready.

"Sis, sis, you gotta wake up." A ten-year-old platinum blonde-haired boy said while poking his older sister in her plump lips. "Sis, sis!" The boy was still wearing some Cookie Cat-themed pajamas, while the girl had on a Mister Universe T-shirt that was a little too big for her, along with some workout shorts.

"Dah, I'm awake, I'm awake!" sixteen-year-old Whitney Topaz yelled as she jolted awake. "Oh, thanks for the lift, Kenny. So, you ready for your first day of school?"

"Uh, I don't know." Kenny Topaz replied nervously. "What if I don't make any friends at my new school? I'm scared, Whitty."

"Hey, don't get so wound up, Ken." Whitney said with a comforting smile at her little brother. "Besides, I'm pretty nervous too. I'm sure my classmates will be nice, but they got nothing on good ol' Archie and pals!"

"Oh, Whitney, you're awake!" Whitney and Kenny's homemaking mother, Lauren Topaz, said delightedly as she peered into her daughter's room. "Hop to it, young lady, don't want to be late!"

"Don't worry, Mom." Whitney said as she got up and did some stretches that Kenny was quick to try imitating. "Aw, I see someone's already ready."

"Haha, Whitty!" Kenny laughed before suddenly falling over, only to be helped up by his big sister, and the two walked out of Whitney's room hand in hand.

Meanwhile, in a slightly grungier part of town frequented by purse snatchers, dognappers, and carjackers, a tall, muscular teen girl with stripe tattoos lining her arms and a jasper nose ring started her morning with a few rounds on her prized punching bag. This was Jasper Brooks, a tough-as-nails punk who grew up in the rough parts of Little Homestead and had to rely on her wits and her strength to survive.

"Oy, Jasper, rise and shine!" Jasper's father, Jameson Brooks, yelled from outside. "It's the first day of school; start prepping already!"

"Whatever." Jasper responded nonchalantly to her father as her punching stopped, and she looked fondly at a photo of herself as a baby with her mother. "Hey, Mom, miss you tons, but Dad and I are still pulling through." She said to the picture while trying not to get too emotional. She had a reputation to uphold, after all. "I know you would've been proud of me."

"Hey, what's keepin' ya?!" Jameson yelled again. "These pancakes ain't gonna eat themselves!"

"I'm coming!" Jasper yelled as she tossed a towel over her shoulders and marched out of her room.

"Have fun, Whitney!" Lauren called as she dropped Whitney off at her new high school. "Hope you can make at least one friend today!"

"I hope so too. Love you, Mom!" Whitney yelled back as she turned around to gaze at Crystal High, the number one high school in Little Homestead, and all the cliques that came with being a high school.

"Okay, Jasper, try not to get into too much trouble this year." Jameson said to his daughter as his tow truck pulled up right behind Whitney as the latter girl walked towards the building. "There are only so many football accidents I can help you out of."

"See you later, pops." Jasper responded as she prepared to get out, but her father interrupted her with a hand on her brawny shoulder. "Uh, what is it now?"

"Just wanna say I'm proud of ya for keeping it together." Jameson gave his daughter a genuine smile. "Welp, see ya later."

"Bye." Jasper waved goodbye to her crass but goodhearted dad as his tow truck drove away, and she turned on her heel to walk to another year of high school.

"Okay, Whitney, just gotta play it cool." Whitney said to herself as she looked around at all the various cliques surrounding her. "You're just a by-the-books, plain jane new girl in town who will no doubt initially be looked down upon by your peers for the first couple of weeks. Nothing too huge."

"Hey, new girl, over here!" an overeager dark-skinned girl dressed in teal colors yelled as she raced up to Whitney and gave her a welcoming handshake. "My name's Thea Zick. Welcome to Crystal High! You must be new in town. What's your name?!"

"Nice to meet you. I'm Whitney Topaz." Whitney introduced herself to Thea. "My family moved here from Riverdale a few days ago, and this is my first day here."

"I knew you were the new girl in town because I never saw your face before, and I know everyone's faces!" Thea replied happily. "Anyways, welcome to Crystal High, founded in 1987 by Dr. Rebecca Sucrose to further her goal of enriching the education of our youth community." She then began gesturing to each of the cliques. "Here, you can find all the usual cliques you'd see in all the high school movies. Like the cheerleaders, for example."

"They seem happy to be together again." Whitney nodded at the troupe of pink-and-blue uniform-wearing cheerleaders squeeing at seeing each other again after a long summer before taking notice of two in particular. The first had curly blonde hair with blue streaks, and the other had similarly colored hair tied into a ponytail with a golden bow.

"Wanna know a fun fact?" Thea asked. "The co-captains, Lucy and Zoey Lance, are the daughters of our art teacher, Lana Lance."

"Good to know." Whitney agreed before looking at a group of goths. "Those are the goths, right?"

"You bet." Thea proclaimed proudly before gesturing to other cliques. "You also got the nerds, the hipsters, the drama kids, the gamers, the artists, the preps, the delinquents, but our cream of the crop is the sports teams!"

"Yo Jasper, over here!" one of Jasper's fellow football players called for his captain, and they engaged in a secret handshake. "We missed ya, girl!"

"How did working in the old man's garage treat you?" another of Jasper's teammates asked.

"Check it!" Jasper replied as she flexed her muscles, amazing the football team and causing Whitney to gape in adoration.

"Oh yeah, the Crystal High Wildcats. Best football team in the school district!" Thea exclaimed before she noticed that her new friend was stunned. "Uh oh, somebody's got a crush!"

"What? No, I don't!" Whitney fibbed with a laugh. "I mean, she looks really cool and hot, but it's not like I'm going to lie awake at night thinking about her, right?"

"You keep telling yourself that." Thea smiled knowingly before she winced at another student approaching them. "Oh no, hide! It's her!"

"Who are you talking about?" Whitney asked as she saw her new classmates also tremble in fear, cuing the arrival of a tall, distinguished young woman with black hair sticking in an upward point, red-rimmed glasses, a black dress shirt, and matching pants. She was followed by a much smaller girl who could only reach up to her hips wearing a dark blue sweater-vest and pleated skirt, a woman with white high-heeled boots and a blue blouse with her hair in buns, and another cheerleader with a rather catlike face and a dark brown coat & matching hat. "Who are these girls?"

"I'll tell you later; just act natural!" Thea exclaimed as she nervously hid behind Whitney as the four girls approached the new students.

"We know you're hiding behind her, Thea." The lead girl in black announced, forcing Thea out of hiding. "Why didn't you tell us that we were getting a new student?"

"Oh, it's not my fault; she just got here!" Thea sweated in terror, her teeth chattering in fright, while Whitney stared blankly at the four high schoolers before her.

"Welcome to Crystal High, miss…." The lead girl greeted Whitney with a reach of her hand.

"Whitney Topaz." Whitney introduced herself as she shook the other girl's hand. "And you are?"

"My name is of no importance at the moment." The menacing greeter responded. "But since you asked, you may call me Ruth Black. Now, off to homeroom with you. Go on, vamoose!"

"Uhhhh…." Whitney said flatly as Ruth and her posse walked away.

"And the rest of you, get to your classes, or you're all getting a write-up!" Ruth yelled at her classmates, striking fear into their hearts as they scrambled to their homerooms. "That's right, stick to the status quo, everyone!"

"I'm guessing she's the mean girl I have to watch my step around?" Whitney asked Teal as the two blended in with the scrambling students.

"Ruth Black, student council president and effectively the ruler of this school." Thea replied. "We have a principal here, who's really great, by the way, but Ruth basically has everyone under her foot! We don't know why she wakes up in the morning feeling like making everyone's lives a nightmare, but I don't think we wanna know."

"That's terrible, she's terrible!" Whitney yelled loud enough for anyone around her to hear. "Some student council president she is; she's more like a psycho dictator!"

"You said it." Thea responded with a nod. "So many students have wanted to take her down a peg, but they're too scared to pull through with it because she's just that powerful!"

"Well, someone oughta do something about this!" Whitney declared. "In fact, I nominate myself to help everyone make their school year brighter!"

"Good on you for wanting to finish the fight!" Thea responded happily. "Hey, that reminds me, which homeroom teacher do you have?"

"Oh, I got Ms. Thomas." Whitney said. "How about you?"

"No way, me too!" Thea exclaimed. "She's in Room 111; I think you'll really like her!"

As the two girls searched for their homeroom, another girl whose left eye was hidden behind her bangs watched the duo's conversation before scurrying away to warn her superiors about Whitney's plans.

"I don't know, Miss Black, aren't these budget cuts a little drastic?" the guidance counselor Pearl Hall asked as she and Principal Estelle Garrett met with Ruth Black in the principal's office. "I mean, I consider music and art classes to be absolutely vital in youth development!"

"Oh please, I'm plenty developed as is." Ruth scoffed with a shrug. "I never required such classes, so why should everyone else?"

"Remember that regardless of your high status, you're just as much of a student here as the other teenagers here." Estelle tried to bring Ruth's egotism down a peg. "You may think that just because you emerged victorious in the student council elections, you'd use that as an excuse to abuse the power that comes with it, but-"

"Yeah, I know. I'm still just a girl at the end of the day!" Ruth unemphatically cut the principal off before she heard a knock at the door. "I'll get that." She opened the office door to find a panicked Irene on the other side, letting her in. "Irene, my trusted eyes and ears of the entire school, any updates?" Unfortunately, Irene was a little too exhausted and nervous to say any whole sentences, so Ruth just translated her panting. "Wait, Dripping Yellow Madness is back? I thought he moved out after the fifth grade!"

"I'm so sorry; I just ran fast because I needed to warn you." Irene replied. "It's that new girl, Whitney Topaz! She says she wants to change how you run this place, or something like that. She even outright called you a psycho dictator!"

"The new girl wants to help everyone?" Pearl exclaimed in delight. "I'm so excited!" An enraged Ruth glared at the guidance counselor. "I mean, I'm so scared!"

"Emergency council meeting at once." Ruth grumbled as she stormed out of Principal Garrett's office. "I will not tolerate this threat to my power!"

"Looks like someone can't tolerate change too." Estelle snarked as Ruth slammed the door on her way out. "Pearl, I suggest we keep an eye out on this Topaz girl. And tell the other teachers to do the same. I have a feeling she really could make a change here."

"I'll call them to your office during transition." Pearl smiled in response. "Ooh, finally, someone who can save us!"

Meanwhile, in Room 111, Mrs. Thomas's homeroom students were all sitting at their desks waiting for their teacher to arrive. Whitney and Thea were seated right next to each other, and unbeknownst to them at the moment, Jasper Brooks was sitting not too far away from the duo. Just then, a woman who looked more likely to be a student with an amethyst brooch attached to her black jacket strolled into the room and sat at her desk. "Morning, everyone. My name's Amy Thomas; I hope you had a great summer! Now, before we start rollcall, let's introduce the new student."

"Hi, everyone; my name's Whitney Topaz." Whitney greeted her new classmates with a smile. "I moved here from Riverdale in Empire State just last weekend, so I hope all of you are just as friendly as my old friends from there."

"Thanks for the heads-up, Whitney. Now let's get roll calling!" Mrs. Thomas said as she pulled out an attendance sheet. "Apologies if I'm going in random order; I didn't have enough time to alphabetize everything. Anyways, Tommy Oliver?"

"Here." A muscular man dressed in a green and white jacket said.

"Sue Heck?" Amy continued reading the attendance sheet.

"Present!" a dorky, brown-haired girl wearing braces exclaimed cheerfully.

"Joey Wheeler?"

"Nyeh, here." A blonde man shuffling a deck of cards responded with a Brooklyn accent.

"Candace Flynn?"

"Uh, here." An orange-haired girl with an unusually long neck said with an awkward wave of her hand.

"I think I like her already." Whitney said to Thea about Mrs. Thomas as the roll call continued. "She looks like she'd rather belong with us students, which makes her instantly relatable."

"Whitney Topaz?" Amy asked for Whitney's name.

"Here!" Whitney exclaimed while raising her hand.

"Good to know you're still onboard." Amy smiled at the new girl. "Thea Zick?"

"Ooh, that's me, that's me!" Thea waved her arms eagerly at hearing her name called.

"Chipper as always, TZ." Amy grinned before returning to roll call. "Okay, who's next? Jasper Brooks?"

"Here." Jasper snorted as she gazed out the window all nonchalantly, finally making Whitney realize that she had shared a homeroom with her new crush. Everything about her seemed perfect to the new student, from her big muscles to her punk rock outfit, the stripes on her arms, her wild hair, and that sense of rebellious nonchalance she carried with her.

"Are you seeing what I'm seeing right now?!" Whitney muttered in shock to Thea. "That's the girl I had the hots for earlier! What was her name again?"

"Jasper Brooks, you have a crush on the Jasper Brooks!" Thea replied excitedly. "If you date her, maybe we could be in with the cool kids!"

"Okay everyone, that should be it for rollcall!" Amy declared as she finished listing off her homeroom students. "Go ahead and get comfortable until the bell rings." The students then began getting out of their desks to greet each other, talk about their summers, and get introduced to Whitney. But she had her eyes on someone else.

"Hi, my name's Whitney!" Whitney introduced herself to Jasper as she began blushing like no tomorrow. "I'm sure you've already heard my name a couple of dozen times, but I want to get to know you better! You're Jasper Brooks, right?"

"Yep." Jasper said tersely. "You said you were from Riverdale, right? Home of The Archies?"

"Oh yeah, Archie and his gang were all great pals." Whitney replied. "Maybe someday I could introduce you to them all. Speaking of which, you're on the football team, right?"

"Captain of the Crystal High Wildcats, to be precise." Jasper responded. "You want to come watch me practice after school?"

"Oh, I'd love to, but I have to get home so I can help my family unpack all our stuff from the move." Whitney declined sadly. "But if you'd like, maybe I could text you. Want my phone number? It's 1 (212) 867-5309."

"Thanks for the number." Jasper responded after entering Whitney's number into her phone. "I'll, uh, see you around. What classes do you have next?"

"I got art with Mrs. Lance." Whitney answered. "Ooh, I love art! This is gonna be so much fun!"

"What a coincidence, I got that class too." Jasper grinned in realization. "Any other classes we might happen to share?"

"Well, after that is gym with Ms. Matthews, then science with Mrs. Perry, English with Mr. Sanchez, Spanish with Senor Esteban, lunch, and finally math with Mr. Powers." Whitney responded. "You?"

"I got Matthews, Perry, and Powers too, coincidentally." Jasper added. "Wow, we got a lot of classes together. It's almost like we were destined to meet or something."

"Yeah, maybe." Whitney chuckled awkwardly as her blush got even brighter. Before Jasper could catch on, the two were cut off by Thea squealing in delight over their conversation. "Thea!"

"I can't believe it. Only one conversation, and you got her number!" Thea yelled excitedly. "This is going to be so awesome!" But contrary to what Thea said, someone didn't think things were awesome. Ruth Black shared a homeroom with Whitney, Jasper, and Thea, and she was not happy with what she had just watched.

As Whitney began getting used to her new routine at Crystal High and becoming closer to Jasper once homeroom ended, they were unwise to the fact that a sinister plot was brewing right beneath their noses.

"If it cannot break out of its shell, the chick will die without being born. We are the chick; the world is our egg." Ruth monologued to herself as the student council assembled in a meeting room under her orders. "If we don't crack the world's shell, we will die without being born. Smash the world's shell."

"For the revolution of the world!" the student council concluded for Ruth as they were seated at their places at the table. Aside from Ruth herself as their leader, there was the secretary Marina Black, one of the highest-scoring students in Crystal High; the hall monitor Agatha Holly, social media expert, treasurer, and cheer squad representative Catherine "Cat" Eyre. In addition, there was the debate team leader and council advisor Cindy Barr; dance squad leader Kylie Newman, class representative Piper Ryan; sports team manager Jazz Day and her girlfriend Zelda Sullivan; extracurricular activity manager Blair Stone; and co-advisor Xanthe Turner.

"Now, you may wonder why I have gathered you all today." Ruth inquired her council.

"Let me guess, is it that new girl everyone's been talking about?" Marina responded.

"Yes, exactly, it is because of the new girl." Ruth answered quietly before she started yelling. "OF COURSE IT'S BECAUSE OF THE NEW GIRL! HAVE YOU EVER SEEN SOMEONE BE THIS MUCH OF A THREAT TO MY CONTROL OVER THIS SCHOOL AFTER ONLY A FEW PERIODS?!"

"Pardon me for asking Miss Black, but could anyone tell me who the new girl is?" Cindy asked her superior.

"Whitney Topaz, age 16, born February 4, 2001, in Riverdale, Empire State." Agatha read from Whitney's new records. "She has only just started here after moving out of Riverdale due to a job transfer, but it seems the girl has already made a name for herself."

"Haven't seen a new student become this notorious since that Parker boy from a few years back." Catherine purred as she typed away on her phone with a lollipop in her mouth. "Anyone remember him, the little dweeb who suddenly became on par with an Olympian and started getting all the girls?"

"I actually kinda miss that guy." Kylie replied. "We only went on one date before he had to run off, but he was a pretty sweet guy. I hope he and his aunt are doing well."

"Back on subject, we cannot let Whitney's rebellion continue," Ruth stated. "I didn't win the council election in a landslide and earned myself a full-ride scholarship to Diamond University just to let the mother of all generic awkward new girls try to take my place as the talk of the town! And what's worse? She's apparently had eyes for Jasper Brooks, my ex-girlfriend, might I add!"

The rest of the council gasped in shock before they erupted into chattering. "Am I hearing things, or is Whitney having feelings for Brooks of all people?" Jazz asked Zelda.

"Those two won't last a week!" Zelda rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"I'll give them eleven to twenty-two minutes." Piper added.

"We have to do something about this!" Blair yelled. "What kind of dirt on her family can we expose to the public and permanently tarnish her reputation? That always seems to work!"

"From what I've gathered, the Topazes seem to be your perfectly average upper-middle-class nuclear family." Xanthe answered coldly. "Not a one of them seems to have any criminal history, or at the very least have performed any dirty deeds for dirt cheap."

"Order everyone, order!" Ruth yelled as she commanded silence with a bang of a gavel. "We must act quickly before she does anything out of the ordinary! I have worked day and night, micromanaging this school to fit my expectations! Someone hand me Whitney's schedule!"

"Right here, Miss Black." Irene said as she handed the schedule to Ruth, who began looking it over.

"Well, what a surprise. It seems she and Jasper have some classes together this year." Ruth growled as she adjusted her glasses and was handed Jasper's schedule as well. "Girls, I have a little mission for you all."

Outside of the meeting, Whitney and Jasper were now at their next class of the day, which was art with Mrs. Lance, the mother of the cheerleading squad's co-captains Lucy and Zoey, dressed in a blue, short-sleeve sweater with gold cuffs, some blue jeans, and a pair of sandals.

"Good morning, everyone. I'm happy that you all made it today." Lana Lance greeted her students. "Considering that I'm in constant danger of losing my job because apparently, I don't teach any vital skills, I'm just delighted to see that people still want to learn art, or meep-morps as I call them."

"Uh, why do you call them meep-morps, anyways?" Whitney raised her hand with a question.

"I don't know, I just went out with the science teacher one night, and we thought it would be funny." Lana chuckled before she continued. "Anyways, over this school year, we'll be doing art projects together in groups of two, so pick your partner. You two will be stuck together for the whole year."

"I already know who I'm picking!" Whitney said as she looked at Jasper, who just blushed as she looked away.

"Oh, you're picking Jasper?" Lana asked Whitney. "What's your name, kid?"

"My name's Whitney Topaz." Whitney introduced herself to her art teacher. "Why, does Jasper not like working in pairs?"

"No, I just wanted to give you a little fun fact." Lana smirked at Jasper's expense. "Jasper actually had a crush on me the first time she was in my class."

"Mrs. Lance!" Jasper yelled in embarrassment. "I kept telling you, I was a dumb teenager at the time, and I'm over it now!"

"I know. I just find it so funny." Lana laughed. "Anyways, I want all my pairs to partner up and start drawing for the day. I shall hand out your sketchbooks immediately."

"What did Mrs. Lance say about constantly being in danger of joblessness?" Whitney murmured to Jasper as everyone received the sketchbooks they would keep for the year.

"Tyrannical student council thinks art isn't a valuable subject to teach." Jasper responded. "I'm sure you may have heard from Thea, but they rule this school."

"Art isn't valuable?!" Whitney exclaimed while Marina Blue secretly stole one of the sketchbooks to throw out, thus making Lana one book short of giving to a student. "Well, in my opinion, art is very valuable because it allows you to express yourself in infinite ways!"

"Ooh, sorry, Whitney, but I think we suddenly ran out of sketchbooks." Lana said sadly as she handed Jasper her empty sketchbook. "But if you'd like, I have some spares coming next week. Until then, maybe you can share with your partner."

"Sure, why not?" Jasper shrugged in agreement, making Whitney hug her new friend in excitement as Marina cursed herself for not considering the art teacher's quick thinking.

"Okay, now that we all have sketchbooks, let's start with a few basic portraits first." Lana stated as she guided her class through the lesson of the day.

Once art was finished, it was time for gym with Biddie Matthews, a powerfully built middle-aged woman easily identified by her dyed rainbow dreadlocks and a star tattoo on her upper arm. "Okay, gang, when you're in the gym with me, expect things to get a little intense! Now, I won't go so hard on you guys, but be warned that trips to the nurse's office will be frequent."

"Like, are you challenging me or something?" a hippie-looking boy with shaggy hair dared the gym teacher.

"Easy, Rogers." Biddie said to the student. "Now, in my gym, I got three rules you should all live by! One, be quick on your feet, because you never know when there's a bad situation where you need to hightail out of there. Two, keep a cool head. Gym can be stressful, but don't get too wound up when you screw up. And three, there's no such thing as "I can't do this." We don't go no time for such negativity. The only words you need are, "Let me give this a shot." Are we clear on that?!"

"Yes, ma'am!" Biddie's students declared obediently.

"That's what I wanna hear out of my class!" Biddie exclaimed proudly. "Now then, first things first, let's indulge in an old classic." She whipped out a dodgeball from behind her back. "Last man standing wins!"

"Oh poo, dodgeball." Jasper groaned in disgust.

"Come on, Jasper, dodgeball is pretty fun." Whitney smiled happily as the madness began.

"Not with Ms. Matthews." Jasper said as she casually punched a dodgeball away from her and Whitney. "She means well, but when she's in the zone, there's no stopping her."

"Watch out!" Whitney yelled as she dove in front of Jasper to protect her from another dodgeball. This one seemed to hit harder than all the rest, as if it was filled with rocks or something. "I'm okay!"

"Thanks, Whitney!" Jasper thanked Whitney while helping her up, the two of them unaware that the rock-filled dodgeball was courtesy of Kylie, who chuckled mischievously as she retreated into the shadows.

"Okay, clods, listen up!" the diminutive science teacher Dot Perry declared harshly while dramatically blowing her green lab-coat back like a cape. "I run a pretty tight ship here, so I won't tolerate any kind of chicanery here!"

"Uh, Mrs. Perry, what will we do here?" Whitney asked while raising her hand.

"Come on, if you ever took science class, you should know what to expect here." Dot answered. "We'll be doing experiments, discussing the scientific method, learning about chemistry, anatomy, genetics, and all sorts of things! But thanks to a certain student council, they won't be as fun and exciting as you'd think science would be."

"Well, that's not very fair." Whitney pouted. "Someone should do something about this, someone like me!"

"Oh, I've heard about you around school lately." Dot proclaimed. "You're the new girl, Whitney Topaz, right? Maybe your free thinking could help make a change around here."

"Oh, thank you, I'd be honored to be your teaching assistant around here!" Whitney yelled excitedly and shook Mrs. Perry's hand. "I think this school needs a little touch of Riverdale friendliness!" Catherine simply rolled her eyes at Whitney's declaration before writing down ideas for sabotage in her notebook.

Next up on Whitney's schedule was English, which was the first class she didn't share with Jasper. On the plus side, she finally reunited with Thea at last, and Thea has already begun spreading the good word about Whitney's efforts to overturn Ruth's tyranny, making her the talk of the class as Mr. Sanchez began speaking.

"Okay, guys, if we're done talking about the new girl, then allow me to introduce myself." Mr. Sanchez said after gulping a can of soda and burping. "My name is Mr. Sanchez, and I'll be your English teacher for the year. Let's get some ground rules out of the way first." While the English teacher began his lecture, Cindy spied on Whitney and Thea from the back of the room, noticing how close the two had become today.

Another class Whitney and Thea shared together was Spanish with Senor Esteban, and they were in the same class as another student council member. Agatha Holly was recording their interactions and how close they seemed while balancing it with dutifully paying attention to Senor Esteban.

Following Spanish, it was time for lunch, but unfortunately for Whitney, the food being served didn't seem all that inviting to her.

"Beef jerky, clams, grape punch." The lunch lady said flatly as she served Whitney precisely that.

"Wait, is this all we're being served for lunch?" Whitney asked about her lunch. "Man, this is pretty boring."

"Student council says it's still good for you, no matter how bland it is." The lunch lady responded. "Clams are good for your heart, beef jerky is filled is protein, minerals, and vitamins, and grape punch has a decent amount of carbs."

"Yeah, but would it kill you to have more variety?" Whitney suggested. "Like, try something new like pizza, nachos, burgers, anything zestier than this!"

"You know, you got a good point." The lunch lady agreed with a smile. "Hey, you're that new kid, right? Thanks for the tip. Now please move. You're holding up the line."

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry!" Whitney apologized as she noticed all her impatient classmates in line to get their meals as she raced towards the nearest open table, which coincidentally was where Thea and Jasper were sitting. "Hey, guys! Did you save a spot for little ol' me?"

"You bet we did!" Thea replied happily and hugged Whitney. "So what took you so long?"

"I just wanted to point out to the lunchlady that she should have some more variety in our lunches." Whitney explained. "I mean seriously, beef jerky, clams, and grape punch every day?"

"Been that way ever since Ruth took power." Jasper revealed before she pulled out a paper bag with her name on it. "Luckily, I had my dad pack my lunch ever since."

"Aw, that's so sweet." Whitney cooed as Jasper pulled out a peanut butter sandwich, some tater tots, a bottle of chocolate milk, and a small pack of ketchup. "Anyone want to share?"

"How could I not?" Whitney laughed and reached for the same tot that Jasper was going to take, causing the two to blush at each other while Thea watched as she drank her grape punch. Meanwhile, some student council members gathered at another table not too far away.

"The others were right. They are close." Xanthe stated while sitting down with Jazz, Zelda, Piper, Blair, and Irene. "Maybe a little too close."

"What if we try breaking them up somehow?" Piper suggested while cracking open a clam. "You all know I love some good romantic drama."

"Unfortunately, as Xanthe said, there's nothing we can do to spoil her reputation." Zelda declared. "Unless one of us perhaps makes her an offer she can't possibly refuse."

"Are you suggesting we get her to join us?" Jazz wondered eagerly. "I love your thinking, honey bear!"

"Ooh, Jazzy, you dog!" Zelda barked seductively, much to the annoyance of Piper, Blair, and Irene.

"Get a room, you two!" Blair yelled at the couple. "Or, in this case, a doghouse."

"I'll do it." Irene nominated herself to make the offer without being prompted and marched over to Whitney, Jasper, and Thea's table. "Hello there, Miss Topaz. Since you are so popular around here, might I suggest an opportunity to join us at the student council?"

Thea was momentarily terrified, but thankfully her concerns were alleviated by Whitney's answer. "Oh, that'd be great, but I'm afraid I'll have to decline for now."

"Rats!" Irene shouted and marched back to her table in shame.

While Whitney had lunch with her new best friend and her crush, some of her new teachers had gotten together to discuss the new arrival to Crystal High.

"So, it's great that you all found the time to join us today." Pearl said to Lana, Biddie, Amy, and Dot. "And I suppose you might already know why you're here."

"Whitney." Lana and Dot said in unison.

"Whitney." Biddie added.

"Whitney!" Amy declared. "She really brightened my day the moment I called her name."

"Now, let's not shill Whitney too much, lest her head gets as big as Ruth's." Garrett snickered before looking up at a painting dedicated to their old friend and the school's former principal Rosemary Diamond. "But her kind heart and free-thinking really remind me of Rose back when we attended Diamond University together."

"I miss Rose." Amy replied nostalgically. "Maybe we should get back together for lunch someday."

"Oh, that would be great!" Pearl agreed with the homeroom teacher while trying to hide her blush, indicating that she still held a torch for Rose. "Now, back to Whitney, I find it amazing that she wants to change our student body for the better."

"Yeah, plus I'd no longer have to be in danger of unemployment now." Lana stated. "What do you think? Should I get Lucy and Zoey to put her on the cheer squad?"

"Ooh, I got a better idea!" Dot exclaimed. "Why don't we have her give a big speech at the big game in a few weeks?"

"That would be a great idea!" Biddie concurred with the science teacher's idea. "That way, everyone can do their part in cleaning up this school!"

"Then it's agreed." Estelle smiled. "I'll call her parents at once and see what they think. I'm sure they'll love to hear what we think about their daughter."

"Good grief, who had the bright idea of teaching math at the end of the day?" Jasper grumbled as she and Whitney headed to their final class for the day together. "I mean, school is already stressful enough, but putting the most stressful subject you can imagine at the end of the day? It's absurd!"

"Well, don't you worry your pretty little head because you got me to keep you sane till it's time to go." Whitney replied while patting Jasper on the head. "Besides, you got practice later, so that should allow you to vent your frustrations healthily."

"Hey, new girl!" Lucy Lance exclaimed as she and her younger sister Zoey approached Whitney and Jasper. "We've heard that you've been doing wonders for the other students, and personally, I think your positive attitude would be killer for the squad!"

"Yeah, wanna come practice with us?" Zoey added. "We got a spare pair of pom poms with your name on them!"

"Oh, I'd love to join the squad, but I think I'll have to turn you guys down for now." Whitney declined the Lance sisters' offer. "But I'd totally be open to joining later when I have the time. When can I come to tryouts?"

"We'll be holding them in a few weeks." Zoey revealed. "Be there or be square!"

"It's a date!" Whitney responded happily as she took Jasper's hand, and the four girls walked into math class together. Once again, however, not one of them realized that a student council member was watching them. Furious about Whitney possibly being on the same cheerleading team as her, Catherine gritted her teeth so hard that she broke the candy part into pieces.

"Hey everyone, I'm home!" Whitney called to her family once she returned home at the end of the day after saying goodbye to Jasper and Thea.

"Welcome back, Whitney!" Lauren replied as she fixed an after-school snack for Kenny. "How was your first day today?"

"It was good." Whitney answered as she sat down at the kitchen table. "I managed to make some new friends, but they were all being oppressed by this really horrible student council, and I saw fit to try and change things, which quickly made me the talk of the town."

"Oh, that reminds me, honey." Ash said as he emerged from another room with a phone in hand. "I got a call from the principal earlier, and apparently, they're so happy with what you're doing; they even said they want you to make a big speech at the big game later this month!"

"Oh my gosh, really?!" Kenny exclaimed in delight. "Whitty, that's awesome!"

"I know, right?!" Whitney replied as the Topaz family got together for a big group hug. "And even better, I think I got a crush on someone!"

"A crush already?" Ash grinned. "And on the first day of school, no less. Back when I was in high school, it only took until the Halloween party for your mother and I to get together."

"That reminds me, you need any help with your speech?" Lauren asked her daughter.

"Naw, I think I already know what to write." Whitney said as she left the kitchen and went to her room to write her speech. "Just wait till everyone back at Riverdale hears about this!" Opening up her laptop and creating a new document to type on, Whitney began jotting down her speech. "Thank you, Crystal High, for making me feel so welcome here."

As the weeks progressed, more students and teachers became influenced by Whitney's positive thinking and free spirit the more they got to know her. No longer would they be shackled by Ruth's tyranny. Instead, they'd be free to do whatever they wanted. Dot was able to make science class more interesting, the lunches had more variety, Lana could no longer worry about losing her job, and the student council's authority was being questioned more often by the day. Ruth Black couldn't stand it any longer, Whitney needed to be brought to her level no matter what, and she knew just what to do.

Eventually, it came time for the big football game to kick off the fall sports season between the Little Homestead Wildcats and the Keystone Oxen. Sports fans from across town gathered at the school football stadium, eager to watch the intense action between the rival teams. The two teams were evenly matched by halftime, with the score being 12 to 12.

"We are the Wildcats!" the school's cheerleading team sang, with Lucy and Zoey taking the lead. "We're here to win this game! And if you think we can't, we'll try all the same!" As their cheer concluded, the squad began forming a pyramid. "That's why the students of Little Homestead, will cheer for!"

"Lacey Carruthers!" Desirée Glass exclaimed.

"Toni Paul!" Catherine added.

"And Olivia Snow." Zoey sang.

"And Jasper Brooks!" Lucy concluded, to the rejoicing of their adoring fans as the pyramid came apart and Lucy was handed a megaphone. "Thanks for coming out, everyone! Yes, we're all very beautiful, and our players are the cream of the crop, but tonight, we got a special announcement to make."

"Everyone's favorite new kid in town, Whitney Topaz, is here to give a very special speech!" Zoey exclaimed as she ripped the megaphone from her sister's hands. "Now, let's make some noise!"

As the crowd began chanting for Whitney, Catherine snuck away from her fellow cheerleaders and saw Ruth in the audience before giving her a knowing wink. "Good luck out there, sweetheart!" Catherine purred as she passed by the Topaz family and Thea in the stadium halls, covertly stealing Whitney's speech and replacing it with a fake and more profane copy. "Trust me, word of mouth will spread fast."

"Hey, thanks Cat." Whitney smiled as she walked out to the stadium, blissfully unaware that her life could soon be over.

"Good luck, dear!" Ash called out to Whitney before he saw Jasper passing him by, ready to hit the showers. "Hello there! You must be Jasper, right?" he asked. "My name's Ash; I'm Whitney's father. Meet my wife Lauren and our son Kenny."

"Wow, you're just as big as I'd thought you'd be!" Kenny gasped in awe at Jasper's size.

"Ha, that's what she said!" Jasper cackled and tried giving Kenny a high-five, but he had no idea what she had just said.

"Uh, what did she say?" Kenny asked curiously, his innocent ears trying to comprehend the football player's dirty joke.

"You'll know when you're older." Lauren laughed as she covered her son's ears before she noticed something at her feet. "Hey, what's that paper for?"

"Let me see that." Jasper said as she picked up the paper and began to read it, coming to the slow and horrified realization that she was reading Whitney's speech and had seemingly forgotten it. "Oh no, I have to get this to her, quick!"

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Ash replied. "Go, go, go!" At the father's command, Jasper raced out to the field to help Whitney before she could make a huge mistake.

"Everything is going according to plan." Ruth smirked as Whitney walked onto the green field, ready to give her speech. "Thanks to Irene, I learned that the teachers offered Whitney to make a speech about how much she will change the school. But luckily, I was able to forge a fake speech in the nick of time that will no doubt ruin her cred the moment she finishes it! All the profanity, all the prejudiced remarks, seeing the reactions will be so invigorating!"

"Good evening, everyone; thank you so much for having me here tonight." Whitney said to the spectators. "First off, I just want to thank Principal Garrett and all the wonderful teachers of Crystal High for giving me this opportunity to spread my mission of love and change to everyone here tonight." The crowd began cheering for the principal and her employees before Whitney continued. "Anyways, I've worked very hard on this speech for the past couple of weeks, and I'd be pleased as punch to share it with you all."

"Whitney, WAIT!" Jasper yelled as she raced back onto the field with Whitney's real speech in hand. "You forgot this. I found it on the floor."

"Wait, that can't be my speech; this is my speech!" Whitney said before she opened her paper to discover the false and very crude speech written to taint her reputation. And the one thing that indicated who the writer was. "Wait, "Student Council rules, Whitney Topaz drools"?!"

"Oh no, she's onto us!" Ruth exclaimed as the student council attempted to make a break for it, only to be cornered at every turn by their fellow spectators who were not happy with their attempted sabotage. "No, this can't be happening!"

"Oh yes, it is, Miss Black." Estelle said as she and Pearl loomed over Ruth. "Did you seriously forge a speech to ruin Whitney's reputation?"

"Yes, of course I did because I was jealous!" Ruth hurriedly admitted. "Jealous that this new girl who's only been in school for a few weeks, yet everyone loves her and fears me! Why is it always the nice people that get attention instead of the ones who demand your respect?!"

"Well, maybe it's because they actually do unto others as they would do to them." Pearl scoffed. "Honestly, Ruth, I expected better from you. As of today, you will be removed from the student council. And we need to discuss that scholarship of yours too."

This caused all the students to cheer over finally being freed from Ruth's tyranny as Ruth herself curled up into a ball of woe. And then, as if to hammer her despair in even further, her former slaves started singing.

"Finally free, finally free, finally free everyone!" everyone began performing an expertly choreographed musical number to celebrate. "Finally free, finally free, finally free, let's have fun! Finally free to just be me!"

"At long last, it's time for celebration! Let's bring down the house!" Whitney began singing along with the crowd and had her first kiss with Jasper in the process, sealing their romance. "It's meant to be that we can all be free; come on and sing it loud!"

"Did you think you'd have us all under control?! My, you took a real nasty fall!" Jasper tauntingly harmonized in Ruth's face, who was simply not having enough of it and decided to make herself scarce. "If we just loved each other for who we are, then we can-"

"TOPAZ!" Jasper's voice echoed throughout the field of dancing spectators, much to Whitney's surprise. "TOPAZ!"

"Wait, Jasper?" Whitney asked. "I thought we were all singing?"

"Singing?" Jasper replied. "You need to wake up!"

"Yo, is she gonna be okay?" Amethyst asked as she, Jasper, Garnet, Pearl, Teal Zircon, Lapis, Peridot, Bismuth, Black Rutile's gang, and the Lapis twins all gazed upon a sleeping White Topaz. "Can I poke her even harder?"

"AGH, FINALLY FREE!" White Topaz yelled as she finally woke up and saw all her friends, and others in her company, surrounding her. "What just happened?"

"You fell asleep binging all those Boarding School Broadway movies," Garnet replied. "Is anything the matter?"

"I had the craziest dream, and everyone I knew was there!" White Topaz exclaimed before pointing to everyone she saw in her dream. "And you were there, and you were there, and you! And we were all humans in high school!"

"High school?" Pearl raised an eyebrow at White Topaz's declaration. "Like in Peridot's fanfictions?"

"Ah yes, the high school AU." Peridot observed with a hand to her chin. "Tell me all the details, White Topaz."

"Well, I was the new girl in town, and Black Rutile was the student council president who ruled the school with an iron fist!" White Topaz explained, earning her a glare from her former superior. "Jasper was the football captain I had a crush on, Teal was my first best friend, my teachers included Amethyst, Peridot, Lapis, and Bismuth, and I was about to accidentally ruin my reputation before the situation was resolved in a pretty rushed fashion."

"Okay, I think we need to simmer down on all those weird teen shows and movies for you." Lapis smirked as she turned off the movie. "And I thought chili gave you vivid dreams." The preceding one-liner incited mass laughter from the Gems gathered, but it quickly turned awkward and strained before stopping entirely.

"Now what?" Bismuth asked.

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 10: From Russia With Hate, Part 1

In an undisclosed part of Europe, the World Defense Agency's finest agent Bane Jones was on another mission. Under the orders of his superior B, Jones was assigned to meet with a European banker and discuss some recent unfortunate events that had befallen a fellow agent of the WDA on the line of duty.

"Ah, Mr. Jones, I was told to expect you." The banker greeted Bane as the agent walked into his office. "So nice of you to come on such short notice."

"Well, if you can't trust a banker, what has the world come to?" Bane dryly answered as he sat down at the banker's desk. "Now then, I trust that you have intel on the death of Agent Craig?"

"Ah yes, that one." The banker replied as he pulled out a cigar to smoke. "You recall the Crystal Gems that everyone has been talking about lately, correct? I can't seem to go a day without reading about them in the news."

"Why yes, I do." Bane responded with a smile. "Lapis and Amethyst are good friends of mine who helped me take down P.H.A.N.T.O.M in Los Diego. Wonder how they're doing these days?"

"Well, that's why I asked." The banker continued. "Word on the street is that von Bowling and his two cronies managed to escape prison, yet again, but this time they had a little help."

"Of course von Bowling escaped again." Bane rolled his eyes in annoyance. "We have got to find a way to lock him up for good and ensure he stays there."

"Back on subject, it would seem that those Power-Hungry All-National Team Of Madmen has allied with the Russian crime lord known as The Sickle." The banker revealed to Agent Jones, much to the agent's alarm.

"The Sickle, you say." Bane wondered as his eyes widened and his eyebrows arched. "And what could those two be doing together?"

"Unfortunately, that was all your friend could gather before his life was forfeited." The banker added morosely before he and Jones discovered a small red dot on the banker's forehead. "What is that, a ladybug?" Smacking at the dot caused two more to appear, much to the banker's horror. "What the? Oh no!"

"Get down!" Bane yelled to the banker, but it was too late. Three bullets were fired at the banker, killing him as his three killers revealed themselves. They were three men in black military garb, one fat, one short, and one lean. These three crooks were quite different in looks, but all of them seemed equally mean.

Though Mr. Jones was briefly horrified by the banker's sudden death, he kept a cool head as he pulled out his gun. "And who might you three be?"

"Ah, Bane Jones, so glad of you to visit." The tall one that Bane immediately deduced to be their possible leader declared warmly, even though he and his cronies had just committed a brutal murder. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am known as Konstantin, and these are my associates Pavel and Leo."

"It seems fate has conspired for us to meet, Mr. Jones." Pavel, who was shorter than Konstantin but far taller than Leo, added. "We originally plotted just to take down that banker and leave, but unfortunately, it seems you just had to get in our way."

"And what a surprise too!" the dwarflike Leo exclaimed. "As I'm sure you already know, our boss, The Sickle, has allied with your old friend Francis von Bowling not just to take you out once and for all, but to destroy those infernal Crystal Gems you're friends with too! I mean, how could you?! Selling out your entire species for those alien cretins who have doomed the Earth more times than I can measure my height!"

"I can assure you, the Gems are good friends and trusted allies of the World Defense Agency!" Bane exclaimed as he prepared to shoot one of the assassins down with his pistol. "Now, I'm normally a gentleman, but hearing such hateful words about my friends makes me very uneasy. And you won't like me when I'm uneasy."

"Challenge accepted, Mr. Jones." Konstantin said while dropping his gun and throwing his fist at Bane's face, but 00014 calmly caught it in his hand before twisting Konstantin's arm behind his back and tossing him into Pavel & Leo before running away from the three assassins.

"Stop him!" Konstantin yelled before the three gunmen gave chase. Bane made a diving leap out of the deceased banker's office that would usually kill any ordinary man, but years of experience have turned Jones into anything but ordinary. Sticking a perfect three-point landing, Jones raced through the streets to escape his pursuers, catching the attention of bystanders as he kept running.

"Terribly sorry, short on time here!" Bane exclaimed as he ran faster away from the three assassins as soon as the trio began catching up to him in an alleyway. However, the chase ended rather anticlimactic as a phone started ringing, and Konstantin picked it up.

"What is it?!" Konstantin yelled to the caller, whom Bane assumed to be The Sickle. "Oh my, already?!" he responded to his boss. "We'll be back shortly." Hanging up, he, Pavel, and Leo turned to face Bane. "We really hate to cut this short, I'm sure you were very excited to have an epic chase sequence, but we have to cut and run. The boss is expecting us."

"But don't you worry, we'll be seeing each other again soon!" Pavel laughed evilly.

"Come, my brothers, we must return to The Sickle at once!" Leo said as they marched out of the alley, leaving Bane alone to contemplate what had just happened.

"Whatever that Sickle fellow wants those three to do, it can't be good." Bane mused to himself before he heard a pair of high heels approaching him. Turning around, he discovered a beautiful Russian woman with pale skin and a goth-like fashion style consisting of a black blouse, navy blue miniskirt, a pair of black heels, a gold belt of crimson jewels, and short violet-dyed hair. "Pardon me, miss, but I'm afraid this might be too dangerous for you. Allow me to introduce myself. I am-"

"Jones, Bane Jones, I know." The woman said in a sultry Russian accent. "Your reputation precedes you, sir. Call me Tina, daughter of The Sickle. And I believe I could be of assistance to you."

"Daughter?" Bane gasped at the news that The Sickle had a daughter. "Hm, never heard anyone say he was a family man before."

"That is beside the point, Mr. Jones." Tina replied nervously. "My father has devious plans for you and your friends, but I believe I can be of assistance to you. Please, take me to your American masters so we can work together to stop my father and von Bowling!"

"I can see you're desperate, Tina." Jones responded, though he started getting a little suspicious of his new ally. "Okay, I'll bring you back to America, but you must promise to behave yourself. There's no telling if P.H.A.N.T.O.M or The Sickle are still watching us."

"Oh, you are most kind, Mr. Jones." Tina said before kissing Bane on the lips and almost leaving him behind in the alley. But as Jones began following Tina, he continued acting suspiciously toward her and started making a call.

"Good day, 00014. How was the mission to the Czech Republic?" Bane's gadgets provider G asked.

"Not very well." Bane replied morosely. "The banker became a casualty, but I did gain a new ally in the daughter of The Sickle. However, I feel like I must keep an eye on her while bringing her back to headquarters."

"Hm, sounds a little odd." G said. "I don't think we have any records of The Sickle being a father in our criminal database, but I don't really mind. Regardless, we should run a few tests on her to make sure she's telling the truth."

"Understood. See you again soon." Bane nodded before hanging up.

"Hey, what's keeping you?!" Tina called for her new companion from afar. "We're wasting daylight here, as you Americans say!"

"Don't mind me, dear, just making a call!" Bane hollered back as he walked towards Tina before taking her hand, and the two began planning for the return to the United States.

Meanwhile, in America, a couple of Little Homeworld Gems had gathered around Lapis Lazuli and Amethyst as they excitedly listened to a story the two were telling. "And then we were tied up and hanging over a shark pit while the villain had his cyborg wolf watching us!" Amethyst eagerly recounted.

"The wolf had, like, a surveillance system built into his nervous system, so that Francis would watch us die." Lapis added. "But thankfully, we found a way to get out."

"Ooh, tell us, tell us!" Teal exclaimed before Garnet, Pearl, Peridot, and Bismuth appeared behind her. "Hey, guys!"

"So what's all the commotion about?" Pearl asked about the gathering.

"I've been hearing rumors that Lapis and Amethyst once met a secret agent and wanted to know if they were true," Teal explained. "so I gathered up everybody spreading those rumors so they can learn they were right all along!"

"We all certainly had a fun time in Los Diego." Garnet smiled. "Maybe you'd like to hear our stories too."

"Yeah, like how Pearl got roasted by Neil Michaels!" Peridot exclaimed, embarrassing Pearl in the process.

"Or how this neckbeard stole a superpowered air freshener!" Bismuth added before she saw the faint shape of a helicopter approaching them. "Hey, what's that supposed to be?"

"Wait, is that a helicopter?" Peridot asked as the shape got closer to Little Homeworld. "What could it be doing here?"

"One second, guys, I'll fly up and check." Lapis said before she spread her wings and flew up to get a better look at the approaching chopper. To her surprise, the vehicle bore the initials WDA, indicating to her that an old friend was coming to visit. "Wait, Bane?!"

"Good day, Lapis, fancy seeing you here." Bane greeted the water Gem as he pushed open the helicopter door. "Bet you didn't expect to see me visiting, eh?"

"We were just talking about you!" Lapis responded over the chopping of the helicopter blades. "What brings you here, Mr. Jones?!"

"Just allow me to touch down so we can talk!" Bane responded before turning to his pilot and silently ordering him to bring the helicopter in for a landing while Lapis flew back down to the ground.

"Well, what was up, other than that helicopter?" Amethyst asked Lapis.

"It's Bane Jones, he's coming here!" Lapis exclaimed eagerly just as the helicopter landed behind her. As soon as 00014 stepped out of the chopper, he was quickly surrounded by Gems wanting to ask him questions.

"OMG, it's Bane Jones!" Teal Zircon cried. "I can't believe it, I'm meeting Bane Jones up close!"

"Please, ladies, one at a time; I'm here on business!" Bane chuckled as he tried to escape his crowd of fangirls and meet Lapis & Amethyst again. "Good day, girls, I'd love to stay over for a chat, but I'm on a new mission."

"Ooh, which one is it this time?" Amethyst asked. "Are we going into space, Japan, the Caribbean, Korea?!"

"All in due time, Amethyst." Bane answered before turning to return to the helicopter. "Come now, we'll explain everything at headquarters."

"Wait, Mr. Jones." Pearl stopped the agent in his tracks. "I don't think we ever got the chance to properly introduce ourselves, so would it be alright if me, Garnet, Peridot, and Bismuth came along with you?"

"I don't see why not." Bane agreed to Pearl's suggestion. "We'll need all the help we can get against our latest threat."

"Cool, spy adventure." Garnet grinned happily.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's move!" Bismuth exclaimed as she boarded the WDA helicopter.

"Don't think I have much else to do this weekend." Peridot added before turning to Teal. "We'll be gone for a while, you guys. Try not to burn the place down while we're gone!"

"We promise. Bye now!" Teal responded as the Gems took off with Bane Jones on a new adventure in the helicopter.

A couple of hours later, the Gems had returned to Los Diego, and not much had changed since their last visit. Convention season wasn't in full swing yet, so there weren't as many people dressed in costumes based on their favorite shows, movies, games, and comics littering the city streets. By the time the Crystal Gems were taken to the World Defense Agency's headquarters, they were welcomed by its staff with open arms.

"So glad they accepted your summons, 00014." Bane's boss, B, said as she shook each of the Gems' hands. "It's a pleasure to meet you all. I am B, head of the World Defense Agency. I'm sure you're already familiar with Mr. Jones and our gadget expert, G."

"The gadget expert is named G, how fitting." Garnet commented. "So, tell us what we're here for, ma'am."

"Glad you asked, Garnet." B said as she and G presented the Crystal Gems with an image of a newspaper headline reading "FRANCIS VON BOWLING BREAKS OUT" along with security footage of the leader of P.H.A.N.T.O.M and his two minions Lennie & Milton receiving some help in breaking out of prison. "A few months back, the fiendish criminal mastermind Francis von Bowling escaped confinement once again, but he's got help this time."

The security footage was replaced with a mugshot of a large, heavyset Russian man with a large beard. "This is The Sickle, leader of a powerful Russian crime ring who has had frequent collaborations with von Bowling in the past, dating all the way back to the fall of the Berlin Wall." Another photo was displayed, this time of younger versions of the two criminals shaking hands with each other dated to 1989. "It seems the two are working together again, but who knows why?"

"Probably revenge." Amethyst answered. "I mean, we did kick von Bowling's butt last time we saw him."

"Yes, it's pretty obvious what Francis's goals are, but we have no idea what The Sickle is plotting either." G added. "Luckily, Mr. Jones found a new partner who should be able to assist us." This was when he cued Tina to enter the scene. "Gems, I'd like you all to meet Tina, daughter of The Sickle."

"Hello there, Crystal Gems." Tina greeted the Gems. "I have heard much about you from my friends back in Russia."

"Yeah, it turns out not many people like us there." Bismuth responded. "Something about violating their ancestral grounds for our own devious ends."

"Yes, if we work together, surely we can improve your reputation there." Tina stated, though Garnet looked rather suspicious at her claims. "Is something the matter?"

"It's nothing, Miss Tina. It's just my future vision giving me some ominous warnings." Garnet replied awkwardly. "Something about dark magic and nuclear weapons." Tina's eyes widened in horror before nervously scooting away from Garnet. "Wait, come back!"

"I have my suspicions as well, but I suggest we try to keep an open mind." Bane proclaimed. "Who knows, maybe she could be on our side."

"Maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong, Mr. Jones." G agreed with the WDA's top agent. "But in the meantime, pay attention, everyone!" He turned around to begin displaying the gadgets Bane would be using for his mission. "Allow me to introduce to you the devices you shall be equipped with on your assignment."

"You call those gadgets? Ha!" Peridot laughed derisively. "I once managed to hack televisions all across the country with just one communication tower! It was some very advanced technology, more advanced than your pieces of metal!"

"Someone's a little braggadocious." G wryly chuckled before presenting what seemed to be an ordinary pen. "Observe, this explosive pen." With a click of the button, the pen started beeping, and G tossed it at target on a nearby wall before it combusted. "I guess you could say the writing was on the wall."

"Leave the sassy one-liners to me, thank you very much." Bane chuckled at G's joke before his gadget provider displayed another gizmo.

"For someone who wants to look both stylish and deadly, I present this razor-brimmed derby hat." G proclaimed before throwing the hat at a few training dummies, slicing their heads clean off with little mess before it returned to his hand. "And over here, there's-"

"Um, is that a human nipple?" Pearl asked regarding a near-perfect replica of a human man's bare chest. Only there were not two nipples, but three.

"Ah yes, the golden gun incident." B declared flatly. "Our target was born with a third nipple that time; thus, this was designed so Mr. Jones could disguise as him."

"Can I take it?" Amethyst asked as she began taking the prosthetic nipple for herself. "This will make me a fortune online!"

"Go ahead, do with it what you will." G said before he continued with his demonstration. "Now, as I was saying, over here, this weaponized wristwatch has seen a lot of use before." He pressed a button that caused a multitude of gadgets to spring out of the clock face. "It has a variety of uses. It can cut wires, burn through metal with a laser, defuse electrical devices, all perfect for getting you out of a jam."

"Looks more like a Molex." Garnet said as she examined the watch manufacturer's name along the rim of the watch.

"They were kind enough to provide us with one to modify." G answered before revealing the last gadget on the itinerary. "And finally, our crème de la crème of the division's gadgets." He pulled out a set of car keys and pressed the unlock button, causing a very stylish-looking car to appear. "I've been making some modifications to your Rumbakini Tormenta lately."

"No way, a Rumbakini Tormenta?!" Bismuth gasped in awe at the cool car in front of them. "That's one of the sleekest cars in the world of automobiles, and here it is for me to tinker with!"

"Pace yourself, Ms. Bismuth. That is very valuable to Mr. Jones." B tried calming Bismuth down. "Care to give us any specifics, G?"

"With pleasure, madam." G replied. "I employed some Gem technology recovered by the government to modify this vehicle. Now it can fly, can become bigger on the inside, fire lasers from the headlights, and the wheels can cling onto most surfaces too."

"So cool!" Amethyst squealed in excitement. "Come on, guys, onwards to Russia!"

"Someone's a little eager to start the mission." Pearl laughed warmly as the Gems began boarding the Tormenta. "Hey, has anyone seen Tina anywhere?"

"Oh, sorry, my friends!" Tina exclaimed as she hurried towards the car. "Sorry, had to go to the bathroom and you know how much trouble those can be!" she awkwardly laughed, causing the Gems and Jones to stare at her in confusion. "Anyways, shall we depart?"

"Yes, let's." Garnet coolly agreed before Bane turned the car on and activated its new flight mode so it could fly off toward Russia.

"So you say that Jones knows now?" The Sickle grimly asked his three subordinates in his headquarters in the coldest parts of Russia. "I asked you to merely terminate that banker, and this is what happens?! Honestly, you three are just as incompetent as you are efficient."

"Please forgive us, boss, but now he's coming straight to us!" Konstantin exclaimed. "He'll walk straight into our trap now!"

"They are indeed correct, my friend." Francis von Bowling agreed with Konstantin while nursing a wineglass of gorilka. "Thanks to our spy on the inside, we know Mr. Jones has allied himself with the Crystal Gems against us."

"The Crystal Gems." The Sickle growled with his chin resting on a fist. "Once I see those foolish rocks, I shall make them pay for what they have done to me!" He then looked to his three assassins. "Konstantin, Pavel, Leo, bring them to me at once! Alive or otherwise!"

"Same goes for you too, Lennie and Milton." Francis said to his two lackeys, the ratlike schemer Lennie and his large, childlike partner Milton. "I want to see the blue and the purple ones again, in particular."

"Oh yes, boss, those Gems won't know what hit them." Lennie cackled while evilly rubbing his hands.

"Yeah, it'll be cool to see those Gems again!" Milton chuckled oafishly. "We won't fail you this time, boss!"

"I hope so." von Bowling replied. "If all else fails, we can rely on our mole to finish things." He then turned to some of his scientists experimenting on some highly advanced technology far beyond human comprehension. "But in the meantime, these mechanical limbs we found underwater should prove useful to us."

"Indeed it will, Francis." Black Rutile declared as she emerged from the shadows, much to von Bowling's alarm. "Oh, pardon me for the intrusion. You may call me Black Rutile, a fellow enemy of the Crystal Gems. I followed you from the Galaxy Warp to Russia because I need some help."

"What kind of help?" Francis asked suspiciously of his new visitor's motives.

"Help to build this dimensional portal, of course!" Black Rutile proclaimed as she unveiled some holographic schematics of the Vortexxer. "I think you and your little organization might have just what I need to keep it stable, and wouldn't you know it; you have almost everything I could want! So how about we work out a little deal? If you give me all the parts for the portal I need, I shall help you terminate the Crystal Gems once and for all."

"A rather tempting offer, miss." Francis smiled and shook Black Rutile's hand. "Just say the word, and I'll be there."

"Are you sure we can trust you, Gem?" The Sickle asked suspiciously. "How do we know you're not like the rest of your kind? You did broadcast your face to the world not too long ago."

"As I said to Francis here, I am just as much a victim of the Crystal Gems as you are." Black Rutile proclaimed, her declaration striking a chord with The Sickle before the Rutile brought up his criminal record on her visor. "Isn't that right, Nikolay?"

"Oh, you're good." Nikolay smirked at P.H.A.N.T.O.M's new ally in surprise and admiration of her skills. "I like you, stranger. Black Rutile, your name is?" He then offered some of his gorillka to Black Rutile. "I feel this shall be the start of beautiful friendship."

Elsewhere in Russia, the Tormenta finally landed in the streets of Saint Petersburg, followed by Bane disembarking with Tina and the Gems. "Be alert, everyone." Bane advised his female companions. "As you said, the Gems don't have the best reputation here due to past events."

"For crying out loud, one giant portion of the world gets wiped out to make room for a Galaxy Warp, and yet they blame the closest ones to the real culprit!" Lapis complained as the group left the alley the Tormenta was parked in to search for The Sickle. Along the way, the Gems discovered how much their technology influenced Russia to become slightly more steampunk than they expected. But they were also forced to be victims of all sorts of prejudice from the locals.

"You colorful killers may have won over the Americans, but we will never forget what you did!"

"Aliens go home!"

"Quit tearing our planet apart!"

"That pink beast would've been the death of us all! Hugging will change nothing!"

"Filthy lesbian rock humans!"

"Just don't pay any attention to them, gang." Garnet advised her teammates. "They only want to make us mad."

"Still, there are still so many things our people have yet to atone for." Pearl replied. "The Crystal Gems may have saved the Earth all the time, but we're just a small group of Gems doing good for the Earth. They probably just think we're a credit to our race at best."

"Whoa, no need to go that far, Pearl!" Amethyst cried while deflecting a bottle of vodka being thrown her way without even looking. "What, you really think that because we're not like them, that means we must be evil?"

"I mean, I stole most of the ocean to return home." Lapis agreed with Pearl. "Which led to hundreds either dying or nearly going out of business."

"Don't get too bummed out, and let's focus on the job at hand." Bane said before turning to Tina. "Now Tina, where do you think we'll find any information about The Sickle?"

"I believe we shall find our answer at the Royale Casino." Tina answered while gesturing to a nearby casino flooded with shady characters. "Number one wretched hive of scum and villainy in all of Russia! I have no doubt in my mind he might be there!"

"Well, how about that?" Bismuth remarked proudly at Tina's observation skills. "Come on, girls, let's get in there and find our crooks!"

"Indeed, let's get a move on." Jones said as the gang walked towards the Royale Casino, while Tina slagged behind to make sure none of them heard what she was going to do.

"They have taken the bait." Tina said into her phone. "Bring the boys out immediately."

Just as everyone expected, the Royale Casino was filled with criminal lowlifes in addition to regular people spending their money on slot machines, card games, dice games, poker machines, and roulettes. And just like outside, many of the Royale's visitors were incredibly wary of the Gems that had just arrived.

"Okay, everyone, spread out. One of these crooks must know where he is." Bane commanded his ladyfriends as he, Tina, Lapis, Amethyst, and Garnet walked towards a big poker table in the center of the room. At the same time, the other Gems interrogated the casino's visitors.

"Excuse me, sir, can you tell me something about someone called The Sickle?" Pearl asked a gambler who was cleaning out his opponents at a game of craps.

"What's it to ya, pointy?" the gambler scoffed while flicking Pearl's nose. "I don't fraternize with your kind."

"Well, I never!" Pearl snapped at the man and stormed off in anger.

"Pardon me, but I must request that you bestow upon me information relating to The Sickle if you please." Peridot politely asked another lowlife at a slot machine.

"I would if you sounded less like a nerd." The slot-puller replied disdainfully. "Now, shoo little girl, I'm on a streak here!"

"Hey comrades, any of you got any deets on The Sickle?" Bismuth asked in her best attempt at a Russian accent as she stepped up to a roulette table.

"The Sickle, eh?" a shirtless, muscular man in a pair of red trunks with a big beard and scars all over his bare & hairy torso answered. "Maybe we could give you some answers, if you beat us at roulette."

"Game on!" Bismuth declared as she pulled out a wad of dollars left over from the trip to Los Diego and handed it over to the croupier. "I'm betting a hundred dollars on 17 Black!"

"Thank you." The croupier responded while taking the cash, Bismuth not telling whether he was unaware a Gem just placed a bet or didn't care as the ball began rolling around the roulette wheel. "No more bets!" It was this close to landing on the spot that Bismuth had bet on, but unfortunately for her, it landed on 23 Red instead. "Ooh, sorry milady. Better luck next time."

"I must admit, you were good gambler. For Gem." The muscular man complimented Bismuth as she walked away.

Meanwhile at the poker table, Bane, Lapis, Amethyst, Tina, and Garnet were playing a high-stakes game of cards against a dozen other seedy opponents, each varying in skill and menace. While Bane played his cards right, both figuratively and literally, and the Gems were doing moderately well, Tina seemed to have no idea how to play.

"Oops, silly me!" Tina declared as she discovered she had yet another bad hand. "I do not seem to be good at this game!"

"That's a real shame, Tina, because watch this." Garnet declared before she unveiled her cards. To the alarm of everyone around her, the fusion had a royal flush. "Read 'em and weep, boys."

"Impossible!" Bane gasped at Garnet's hand. "How did you get a royal flush so easily?!"

"Future vision." Garnet boasted. "Been using it to cheat at cards with Amethyst and Greg for years."

"I knew it!" Amethyst exclaimed before they heard the doors open, followed by Konstantin, Pavel, and Leo stepping into the Royale Casino.

"Okay everyone, stop what you're doing now!" Konstantin commanded the casino's visitors while arming himself with a gun that looked like reverse-engineered Gem technology. "I want everybody on the ground except for anyone with unusual skin color! And no, I don't mean that kind of unusual skin color!"

"It's those assassins that killed the banker again!" Bane exclaimed as the gamblers scrambled around the casino.

"Hey, wait a second. Those weapons they're holding look a little familiar." Amethyst said as the three gunmen drew closer to Bane and company, followed by the other Crystal Gems racing to stop them.

"Are those my limb enhancers?!" Peridot gasped at the trio's firearms. "How did you get them?!"

"Found them in the Tunguska Sea near some big rock formation." Leo revealed to the group, causing Garnet and Pearl to all look at Amethyst. Last they remember, Amethyst was the one to dispose of Peridot's limb enhancers after they finally poofed her by dumping them in the ocean.

"Oh, come on! How was I supposed to know someone was going to confiscate them?!" Amethyst cried before the Gems were all held at gunpoint.

"Now then, our boss has some very special friends who want you taken out for what you did to them." Pavel declared. "So either turn around now and leave or else things will have to get ugly."

"Wait, everyone please!" Tina yelled as she got between the two groups. "Boys, boys, we can resolve this peacefully as long as you let my friends go."

"So that should be our cue to run?" Bismuth asked.

"You bet." Lapis responded flatly as Bane and the Gems ran out of the casino. But as soon as they escaped however, Tina immediately changed her tune.

"Thank you, boys, for that marvelous introduction." Tina smirked at Konstantin. "Anyways, you remember the deal I made with Bowling, right?"

"Yes, here is that book you wanted." Leo answered while handing over a strange grimoire that emitted a sinister energy from it. Tina just smiled evilly as she opened the book and began reading through its pages.

As soon as Bane, Lapis, Amethyst, Garnet, Pearl, Peridot, and Bismuth escaped the Royale Casino, they ran for the Rumbakini Tormenta and immediately began racing through Saint Petersburg in order to get as far away from the three assassins as possible.

"Thank goodness Tina bought us time!" Pearl exclaimed as the car sped through Russia. "I just hope she'll be alright."

"Who knows if we'll be alright, though." Lapis said as she poked her head out the window to discover numerous police cars driven by P.H.A.N.T.O.M goons chasing after them. "Quick, Bane, step on it!"

"Well, it's 37,500 miles to America. We got a full tank of gas and multiple gadgets, it's getting cold, and none of us are dressed for the weather." Bane declared.

"Hit it!" Amethyst yelled as Bane stepped on the gas, making the Tormenta go even faster. But unfortunately, the P.H.A.N.T.O.M cars started going faster as well. "Talk about putting your pedal to the metal, am I right?"

"This is no time for puns, Amethyst, we need to think of a plan!" Garnet yelled.

"Why don't we ask those fellows in the nice suits?" Peridot suggested while spotting a pair of men in matching black suits, fedoras, and sunglasses driving in a beat-up sedan. "Excuse us, but could you lend your assistance? We're on the run from villains here!"

"We'd love to stay and chat, but we're on a mission from God!" the first man declined the offer.

"Our Lady of blessed acceleration, don't fail us now!" the second man yelled as his companion drove the car away from the highway, which gave Peridot an idea.

"Wait, Bane, we need to go off the road!" Peridot yelled to the secret agent. "Just like those rad dudes in shades!"

"Well, I'm willing to give anything a shot once." Bane shrugged in agreement before swerving the car off the highway and into the Russian wilderness. When the P.H.A.N.T.O.M troops attempted to follow, all that did was turn them into a big car pileup along the side of the highway—all except for one.

"That little gremlin must have been watching too many movies!" Lennie cursed as he and Milton became the last members of P.H.A.N.T.O.M chasing after 00014 and the Crystal Gems. "Step on it, Milton, quick like a bunny!"

"Yeah, quick like a bunny!" Milton replied and made the police car start catching up to the Tormenta. "You ain't getting away this time, Bane!"

"On the contrary, my friends," Bane smirked and pulled out a pen. "you'll find that the pen is mightier than the sword or the automobile!" He then clicked the button and tossed it straight into the inside of Lennie and Milton's car.

"Uh, what's the pen gonna do, squirt ink all over us?" Lennie asked. His question would soon be answered as the pen detonated in his and Milton's faces, completely incinerating their police car and causing severe damage to the Tormenta in the process. Surprisingly, von Bowling's two minions managed to survive the explosion. "Okay, question answered."

"This ends now, criminal scum!" Bane declared as he pointed his gun at Lennie and Milton's faces while the Crystal Gems surrounded the two thugs. "Just tell us what your boss and The Sickle have planned, and maybe, just maybe, we'll go easy on you."

"Oh, so now you want to know?" Lennie coughed spitefully. "You know, you could've just asked earlier! Okay, fine, you got us. Our bosses are gonna start World War III and blame the Gems for it. Ya happy now?"

"Wait, World War III?!" Bismuth yelled in horror. "How could they do something like this?!"

"Easy, they wanna get rich." Milton answered innocently. "Once we frame you guys as terrorists, the bosses will be hailed as heroes by nuking your Little Homeworld friends and becoming rich from selling weapons. Pretty basic goals, you know?"

"Basic, but very personal." Lapis cracked her knuckles and prepared for a fight. "You messed with the wrong Gems, you guys!"

"If you want to harm our friends, you'll have to face us first!" Amethyst exclaimed and pulled out her whip, followed by the rest of the Gems pulling out their weapons in anticipation of the fight. Suddenly, however, a third party was about to come into play.

"Enough!" the familiar voice of Tina declared as she stepped into the clearing, her blouse turned into a unitard, and her mini skirt switched with a blue cloak. "Bet you didn't expect to see me here, Crystal Gems."

"Tina, is that you?" Amethyst asked. "Love the outfit by the way. What are you, some kind of sexy goth sorceress?"

"Oh, I am not just any sexy goth sorceress." Tina answered. "My name is actually Rasputina, descendent of the Mad Monk Grigori Rasputin, the innocent man you failed to save from Prince Yusupov! And now, I am here to avenge him by destroying all of you!"

"Okay, didn't see that coming." Lapis declared in shock.

"I certainly did." Garnet added. "Future vision, after all."

"So, you were plotting behind our backs all this time." Bane scowled at Rasputina. "I bet being The Sickle's daughter was part of the act too!"

"Indeed it was, and now I have you all right where he wants you." Rasputina smirked seductively before pulling out the grimoire that Konstantin, Pavel & Leo gave her and reciting a spell. "Klaatu barada nikto!" The resulting spell trapped Bane and the Gems in a dark forcefield that began causing them unending pain as Rasputina turned to contact her superiors. "Master, it is done. Mr. Jones and the Crystal Gems are ours. Awaiting further orders."

In Loving Memory of Robbie Coltrane, aka Valentin Zukovsky and Rubeus Hagrid

March 30, 1950 – October 14, 2022

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 11: From Russia With Hate, Part 2

Though the people of Russia hated and feared the Crystal Gems for destroying their ancestral homeland, it wasn't always this way. During the early 20th century, when Rose Quartz still led them, the team maintained a civil working relationship with the family of Tsar Nicholas II before the Romanov family's murder on Red October and thus were acquainted with Grigori Rasputin. However, some were very wary of how Rasputin seemed to influence the Romanov royal family ever since the holy healer had cured Alexei of his hemophilia. To try and stop Rasputin should he turn out to be more than he seemed, the Crystal Gems were enlisted by the grand duke Dmitri Pavlovich and his noble cohorts to investigate the healer. Unfortunately for Pavlovich, not only did the Gems turn up with no evidence, but they were also suspicious of his true motives.

"I am sorry, Sir Pavlovich, but we were unable to find anything insidious about Mr. Rasputin." Rose said to the grand duke and his two associates, Prince Felix Yusupov and Vladimir Purishkevich, as everyone gathered at Moika Palace.

"You must be joking here." Dmitri groaned in disappointment. "You Crystal Gems are legendary warriors of Earth's ancient past, yet one man completely befuddles you?!"

"It's not just that, but I'm unsure if we believe your claims." Pearl agreed with Rose. "Rasputin is such a kind and genial man of the cloth; alcoholism and womanizing aside, how could he possibly be plotting against Tsar Nicholas?"

"That is what he wants you to think!" Prince Yusupov yelled angrily. "He probably seduced you with the cursed magic he gained from selling his soul to the powers of darkness that be! If you are under a spell now, just tell us!"

"Oh, I see what's going on!" Amethyst declared. "I bet you guys are just jealous that Razzy is getting more attention than all three of you combined, and you probably want him dead for it!"

"Since when were you under the impression that we were plotting against Grigori?" Purishkevhich asked while sitting down in a chair with his fingers steepled together. "We are only working together for Russia's best interests."

"Don't get too cocky, boys." Garnet coolly said to the trio of noblemen. "You may think you're doing what's best for the royal family, but this will prove disastrous in the long run."

"Oh, enough of this tomfoolery!" Prince Yusupov yelled in disgust. "Guards, escort these Gems off the premises at once!" Just then, the Yusupov family's royal guards stormed into Moika Palace to drag the Gems away from the prince and his allies, but they refused to back down and give up on Rasputin.

"Please, you have to listen to us!" Rose cried out to the noble trio. "You don't understand; there is more to Rasputin that you haven't learned yet!"

"Ugh, foreign women, am I right? They simply have no clue what I'm suffering from here." Felix scoffed at Rose's claims as the Gems were tossed out of the palace. With the Crystal Gems out of the picture, Felix had another plan. "My friends, it would seem that no matter what, those Gems retain their good image to the Tsar. Might I suggest we change that?"

And change that they did. Rasputin would die shortly after the Crystal Gems' confrontation with Prince Yusupov. Although reports differed on how the assassination was carried out, one rumor they spread like wildfire was that the Gems had sold out Rasputin before fleeing like cowards. The story would be passed down from Rasputin's daughter Maria to her children, to their children, and then to their children, one of whom would include Rasputina.

"So, is that what really happened to him?" Maria's great-great-granddaughter Rasputina said while being bounced on her father's knee.

"No one can truly know for sure, my child." Tina's father said with a gentle stroke of his daughter's hair. "Of course, your great-grandmother also once said that she was psychic, and Nixon's wife met her in a dream, so there's no telling if there is any truth to those claims."

"Where are those scary Gem ladies now, daddy?" Tina asked again.

"No one knows about that, either." Tina's father answered. "Some say they came from space, or maybe they're from another dimension entirely! But one thing is certain: they have betrayed our family and our people." With that last word, he gave his daughter a gentle pat on the head. "Now, up to bed, my dear. Rasputin would want you to have a happy and healthy mind when you wake up tomorrow."

"Okay." Rasputina obeyed as she picked up her stuffed bat Bartok and walked away. "Good night, daddy."

"Good night, my darling." The father said before Tina took off for her bedroom and slept. As her father commanded, Rasputin would've wanted Rasputina to wake up the following day with a happy and healthy mind. And happy and healthy that mind was, but it was also clouded with thoughts of revenge.

As Tina grew older, she began taking a scholarly interest in her family history to prepare for the day she would avenge her great-great-grandfather Grigori and search for ways to practice the mystic arts as he did. By the present day, Rasputina had molded herself into a true successor to Russia's mightiest monk, but one key ingredient was missing to complete her look. Rumor has it that Rasputin kept a mysterious spellbook now hidden somewhere in Russia, and she needed some help locating it. Luckily, she began corresponding with a certain criminal mastermind at that time to assist her.

"So you are telling me you are the descendant of the Mad Monk Rasputin?" The Sickle laughed in disbelief at Tina's claims as the two met one night under a bridge. "Next, you'll tell me he's still making comic books!"

"Laugh all you want, Nikolay, but allow me to demonstrate why you should be helping me." Rasputina scowled at The Sickle before taking her childhood toy Bartok out of her pockets. The stuffed bat had aged quite a bit over the years, but Tina did everything she could to keep it in one piece. With a wave of Tina's finger, a dark aura swallowed the toy, and it suddenly came to life, much to The Sickle's alarm. "I'd like to introduce you to my familiar, and oldest friend, Bartok. He's a little beat up, but very loyal all the same."

Unfortunately for Tina, The Sickle still didn't believe her. "THAT! IS! A! TOOOOOY!" he abruptly screamed. "I can see through your parlor tricks, little girl; he is not alive at all! He is mere child's plaything!"

"You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity." Rasputina rolled her eyes and literally zipped The Sickle's lips shut with a snap of her fingers. "Dosvidanya!" As Tina walked away with her sentient toy perched on her shoulder, The Sickle unzipped his lips and finally caved in.

"Okay, I give, I give!" the Russian crime boss yelled. "You may join me; just name your price, anything!"

"Oh, a price, you say?" Rasputina smirked as she came back to help The Sickle to his feet. "How does the complete and utter annihilation of a shared enemy sound to you?"

"Shared enemy, you say?" The Sickle raised an eyebrow with intrigue. "What kind do you mean?"

"Just a motley crew of strange women calling themselves Earth's defenders." Rasputina explained before conjuring up an image of the Crystal Gems that Nikolay immediately recognized.

"The Crystal Gems?" Nikolay gasped as his eyes widened at the sight of Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. "How did you know?"

"I just did a little mind reading, is all." Rasputina replied. "I saw you have some history with these creatures back in your youth."

"Yes, and I never forgave them since." The Sickle grinned before the two of them shook hands. "If you bring me Crystal Gems, I shall find you spellbook. Da?"

"Da." Tina grinned as the alliance between the two was formed that fateful night.

"Mmm, you won't get away this time, Lord Gravy." Amethyst stirred in her sleep as she began hearing a faint but very familiar voice almost right next to her.

"I knew I chose the right man to assist me." Black Rutile chirped as she looked at the imprisoned Crystal Gems before her. "Thank you very much, Mr. Sidorov. Now, please give me everything I need for my portal."

"In due time, Madame Rutile." The Sickle responded as Amethyst slowly woke up. "Ah, it seems one of them is finally waking up. Let us greet them, shall we?"

"Oh, my head hurts." Amethyst said as she woke up in a prison cell and hung upside down by her ankles. "Last thing I remember was some magic lady taking us by surprise before knocking us all out after putting us in some excruciating pain. Oh, wait."

"Rise and shine, insipid Crystal Gems!" Black Rutile laughed triumphantly as she was flanked by Francis von Bowling, The Sickle, and Rasputina. "Surprised to see me, eh?"

"I want to say I am, but then again, figures you'd team up with someone with a beef with us again." Lapis snarked. "What did you want with these guys?"

"It is only a little trade." Francis explained. "She helps us capture you, and we give her what she needs for this portal she's building."

"Wait, a portal? To where?" Pearl wondered as everyone else woke up as well.

"I think I may have heard rumors about one back when I worked for Yellow Diamond." Peridot declared. "The Diamonds wanted to conquer other universes and commissioned Black Rutile, Bloodstone, and Serpentine to build a portal, but too many failed tests caused them to reject the idea."

"Well, it looks like you found out my big, evil plan this time." Black Rutile agreed with Peridot. "Since you can't seem to agree that I'm doing what's best for all Gemkind, I'm going to look for a dimension where you actually do and where evil finally wins!"

"Fat chance!" Peridot yelled from the cell. "We'll stop you!"

"Stop me?" Black Rutile smirked cruelly. "You'll have to speak with whoever I meet on the other side about that. But in the meantime, my dear friends here will show you around. Toodles!"

"Oh, you're gonna love what we have here, Rutty!" Leo said as he led Black Rutile away from the cell.

"So what will happen to us now?" Bane finally asked.

"Oh, not much." Rasputina declared. "We're just going to torture you all into confessing that you're terrorists on live television so we can be justified in destroying your friends!"

"And it shall be glorious doing to them what you did to me so long ago." The Sickle added. "You remember me, don't you, Gems?"

"If we did, we'd rather forget." Garnet defiantly replied.

"Oh, ye of little faith." The Sickle tutted and shook his head. "For someone with three eyes and the power to see the future, you are blind to what's in front of you. Before I became the most powerful criminal in Russia, I was known as Nikolay Sidorov!"

Back in 1950s Russia, when the Soviet Union reigned supreme, there lived a little boy named Nikolay Sidorov whose family and neighborhood in Kazan were frequently endangered by corrupted Gems that infested the Russian wilderness and often would menace nearby cities. Though the Crystal Gems were there to defend the Russians from their mutated brethren all the time, it was not without its casualties.

"Mother, father!" the then-four-year-old Nikolay yelled for his parents as he searched for his family through the rubble left behind by the Gems' latest battle with a corrupted Gem. "Sofia, Igor!" he called out for his older siblings too. "Anyone?!"

Luckily for Nikolay, he was able to find the building that his family called home. Unfortunately, he could only find what was left of it, as it now was a large pile of rubble with a few hands sticking out of it. "No! No, no, no, no!"

"Whoo, how much damage did you think that did?" Amethyst asked, causing Nikolay to hide behind a large piece of rebar as the Crystal Gems strolled throughout the destroyed neighborhood, fresh off saving Kazan from a corrupted Gem.

"I'm going to assume a lot." Rose replied before turning to some of the gathered townsfolk. "We sincerely apologize for any damage caused. We were only saving you all, even if it meant accidentally letting some things get destroyed." This enraged Nikolay like no other. His family had just died, and they were just regarded as mere things instead of formerly living human beings? No, he could simply not allow this to continue any longer. If the Gems were so ignorant of the lives they ruined, then someone should try and return the favor.

For many years afterward, Nikolay spent his years in the slums as a criminal. He started snatching purses to steal the money in them for himself, then selling drugs as a petty fence in the alleyways. Eventually, he finally evolved into a powerful enough crime lord to become a close associate of Francis von Bowling. By then, Nikolay Sidorov was dead, as his friends and family once knew him. Now, there was only The Sickle, the most powerful gang leader in all of Russia.

"So basically, corrupted Gems have been endangering lives in Russia, and you forgot about this one family, which caused him to go evil?" Bismuth asked as soon as The Sickle finished his story. "Geez, and they said I was a little messed up."

"I should've known there was at least someone we forgot." Garnet declared in heartbroken realization. "I just didn't consider it because too many others lost their lives to the corrupted Gems."

"Is this true?" Bane asked Pearl, who looked utterly crestfallen at how it was their fault their captor was the way he was.

"Yes, very true." Pearl proclaimed sadly. "Please, Nikolay, if you still want to be called that, Garnet, Amethyst, and I are so sorry for our carelessness. I know it's been ages since that day, but Steven has taught us that it's never too late to be given a second chance."

"I am sorry Pearl, but Nikolay died ages ago. I am simply too far gone to be helped." The Sickle calmly answered with his back to his prisoners. "Besides, turning over a new leaf would take all the fun out of being one of the most powerful criminal masterminds in the world."

"But in the meantime, let the karma begin." Francis proclaimed. "Lennie, Milton, bring Bane and his companions to my quarters! As for the rest of them, do your thing, Rasputina."

"With pleasure." Tina agreed evilly as Bane, Lapis, and Amethyst were dragged away by Lennie and Milton as some video cameras began rolling. "Greetings, my fellow Russians. I am Rasputina, great-granddaughter of the Mad Monk Grigori Rasputin, here to deliver a message on behalf of the loathsome Crystal Gems."

"You clods won't get away with this!" Peridot yelled as she struggled to break free.

"Quiet, you!" Tina yelled at Peridot before turning back to the camera. "Now, you may believe that I am telling the most outlandish of tall tales regarding my heritage, and you'd be justified. In fact, that's what my associate believed when we first encountered each other."

"It is true." The Sickle agreed while looking into the cameras focused on him.

"Anyways, I am here to finally bring the Crystal Gems to justice as their judge, jury, and executioner." Tina announced. "Once I have tortured them enough, they shall confess to their terrorism wrought upon our people, and we shall react by wiping the rest of their kind off the face of the Earth with these nuclear missiles!"

"But wait, aren't Gems invulnerable?" Konstantin asked off-screen, only to be greeted by a blast of dark magic to the face.

"Now, without further ado, let the torture commence!" Rasputina announced before she read another incantation from her grimoire. "Higitus figitus bibbidi bobbidi boo!" With another wave of her hand, Garnet, Pearl, Peridot, and Bismuth were put through more agonizing pain, just like when she first revealed herself. "If only your friends could see you now!"

Meanwhile, Bane, Lapis, and Amethyst were forced into Francis von Bowling's quarters by Lennie and Milton, where their archnemesis was awaiting them patiently. "Ah, Bane Jones." Francis sneered as he entered the room. "If only you kept away, then maybe all of this would've been water under the bridge, but alas. I figured you'd try to interfere with my plans."

"We won't let you or The Sickle nuke Little Homeworld!" Lapis yelled. "Gems are far stronger than that!"

"You see, that's the thing, we'll destroy everything around them and let the general public sort them out." Von Bowling responded. "You could've been given the world, but you choose to defend it instead. Why is that?"

"Sometimes, the world is not enough." Bane declared defiantly. "Family motto, just FYI."

"We chose to keep the Earth safe because Rose Quartz valued organic life so much." Amethyst said.

"If you valued us men so much, then why did you act so ambivalent towards the lives of one family?" Francis inquired coldly. "Seems awfully hypocritical, don't you think?"

"For crying out loud, it was an honest mistake!" Amethyst cried. "Seriously, we've had enough Gems dragging her name through the mud, and now humans who barely know a thing about her are getting in on it too?!"

"Out of all you three, I think I found you the most obnoxious." Francis declared to Amethyst. "But thankfully, that will no longer be a problem." He then turned to his two lackeys. "Gentlemen?"

"Oh, you guys are gonna love this!" Lennie snickered as he rubbed his ratlike hands together and pulled off a tarp revealing a pair of medieval torture devices, a garrote, and a rack, both modified with Gem technology and reserved for his foes. "Dug these out of some old ruins in England years ago, and we've been using them ever since! Hook them up, Milton!"

"Ooh, you're gonna have so much fun!" Milton said as Bane was forcibly sat down at the garrote while the Gems were hooked up to the rack. "Can I do the chair thingy, can I boss?"

"Yes, you can do the "chair thingy," Milton." Von Bowling chuckled as his massive minion began turning the wheel on the back of the garrote, slowly beginning to crush Bane's neck bones. "And as for you, Lennie, start turning the rack."

"With pleasure!" Lennie laughed evilly as he slowly began pulling Lapis and Amethyst both ways on the rack, eagerly awaiting their oncoming demise. "This is for what you did to us in Los Diego!"

"Do they honestly think they can torture us like this?" Lapis gave Amethyst a wry smirk while forming some vines made of water to help free herself.

"I got a better idea." Amethyst replied while shapeshifting into a mouse and leaping onto Lennie's head before she began pulling at his hair, thus manipulating von Bowling's henchman like a puppet.

"Hey, what's going on?!" Lennie yelled as he struggled to free himself from the mouse's grasp, only to be puppeteered to shove Milton away from the garrote and save Bane from a gruesome death. "Someone stop this filthy rat!"

"That's far enough, Amethyst!" Francis yelled as he pulled a gun on the purple Gem, but Bane quickly smacked it out of the mastermind's hands. "Someone, stop them!"

"We'd love to stay and chat, but we got a world to save." Bane declared as he and his Gem sidekicks raced to save Garnet, Pearl, Bismuth, and Peridot while the alarms began sounding.

"PRISONERS HAVE ESCAPED, I REPEAT, PRISONERS HAVE ESCAPED!" the intercoms bellowed throughout the facility while Black Rutile was making a deal with Pavel and Leo. "REMAIN CALM. THE SITUATION WILL BE PROMPTLY DEALT WITH!"

"Well, it seems that our friends have made their grand escape." Black Rutile proclaimed. "No need to worry though, I already got everything I need here, now to leave the rest to you."

"But how, girlie?" Pavel asked the Rutile. "You barely did anything!"

"Anything that you saw." Black Rutile responded. "In case you didn't know, I helped build the nuclear missiles that should be launching right about now. I was going to wait until the Gems confessed after enough agonizing torture, but it seems we have no time to waste now." She then pulled out a remote and pressed a big red button on it, ordering the missiles to start launching.

"Blast, 00014 escaped already?!" The Sickle cursed as he and Konstantin watched Bane, Lapis and Amethyst escape through the security cameras installed around the headquarters. "Forget torturing our prisoners into confessing; let us launch the missiles now and blame them for it!"

"Oh, already?" Rasputina complained as the Gems were about to reach their breaking point. "But I'm having so much fun!"

"All right, Lapis!" Peridot cheered as she yelled in agony. "I knew she could do it!"

"Wait, did she just say missiles?" Pearl asked as the four Gems discovered three large missiles emerging from behind them.

"That is right, fools!" The Sickle declared proudly. "You forced me to watch as my home was reduced to a giant pile of nothing! Now let's see how you like it happening to you!" As the crime lord laughed evilly, a sizeable holographic screen appeared and started depicting the distance between his lair and Little Homeworld. Just then, however, he was suddenly punched out of the way by a giant fist made of water as Lapis raced to save the other Gems while Bane tangled with Rasputina, and Amethyst tried her best to stop the missile launch.

"Come on, how do any of these buttons work?!" Amethyst cried as she started mashing at the console, which somehow caused a pop-up to appear. "To halt missile launch, press any key." She read. "Well, where the heck's the any key?!"

"You can do that later, Amethyst; we must stop him!" Garnet cried as the Gems were freed from Rasputina's torment through her being distracted by fighting Bane.

"You're a traitor to your species, 00014!" Rasputina proclaimed. "You have sold us all out to these infernal mineral maidens, and you will pay for it!"

"And I will not allow such hateful rhetoric towards my friends!" Bane replied before he grabbed Tina's grimoire and tossed it away from her before knocking her out cold with a single punch. "Guess that old black magic couldn't save you this time."

"Hey, Bane, over there!" Bismuth yelled while pointing at The Sickle climbing onto one of the missiles as they began takeoff. "What do we do now?"

"Easy. I can just use my water powers to keep them from flying." Lapis suggested plainly, but Bane had other ideas.

"No Gems, I think this shall be mine to take." Bane declared calmly. "I don't care if it means I perish in the process, just as long as my friends are safe from harm."

"B-Bane, are you serious?" Lapis stuttered as the secret agent made his decision to sacrifice himself for the greater good, but Bane immediately calmed her down with a gentle stroke of her hair.

"It's a shame it had to come to this, but I'm only a man." Bane replied. "You Gems seem to have all the time in the world, and then some. Be well, my friends."

"You are doing a truly noble deed, Mr. Jones." Garnet saluted the spy. "We'd love to make you an honorary Crystal Gem if we could."

"I'd be much obliged." Bane replied to Garnet. "But save the knighting for later." He then turned around and raced to the missile The Sickle was clinging onto as it took off, leaving the Gems behind at the villain's secret base.

"Come on, where is it?" Bane muttered as he tried burning through the missile's exterior with the laser on his watch. "The controls must be here somewhere!"

"Going somewhere, Mr. Jones?" Nikolay asked the agent while looming behind him. "I'm afraid you might be too late to stop this missile, but if you'd like, I'd be happy to beat the living daylights out of you."

"No thank you, Mr. Sidorov." Bane replied coolly. "I think I'll die another day." He then presented the razor-rimmed derby hat given to him by G and tossed it straight at The Sickle's neck with the intent to either slice open his neck or even decapitate him, but instead, the hat bounced off of him before returning to Jones' hands. Jones then threw the hat again, this time aiming for Nikolay's arms. Again, no use.

"Hmph, hats off to you, Mr. Jones." The Sickle smirked before he grabbed the hat in mid-air and tossed it back at Jones, managing to leave a scar on his cheek. "If you are done throwing your wonderful toys at me, then bring it on!"

"With pleasure." Bane scowled as he put up his dukes and engaged in a brutal, no-holds-barred fistfight with The Sickle as the missiles soared through the sky. The two of them seemed to be evenly matched, with Bane's years of spy training up against Nikolay's life on the streets of Kazan and experience in the criminal underworld of Russia. However, every time he got a chance to take a breather, Bane continued searching for a way to disarm the missiles and save Little Homeworld.

"Come on, come on!" Bane yelled as he once again tried cutting through the missile to find its source after briefly knocking The Sickle off his feet. Luckily, he was able to find some wires beneath that he was quickly able to cut, allowing him complete control of the missile he was on. "I knew you'd pull through, G."

"You fool, what have you done?!" The Sickle roared angrily. "You could've been a hero to your species, but instead you betray humankind for those Gems! Why, why do you do this?!"

"Because it's my God-given duty to defend the world!" Bane replied sternly. "And the Gems happen to live on that world too!" With his presumed final act of heroism, Bane's watch immediately took control of the missile. It began steering it off its course, flying it straight at the other two rockets so The Sickle could finally be defeated once and for all, with Bane dragging the crime lord with him kicking and screaming to the great beyond. "Goodbye, my friends."

"NYEEEEEET!" The Sickle screamed in horror as all three missiles collided with each other, causing a fiery explosion that seemingly killed the two men and ending The Sickle's menace once and for all, but at a great cost. However, the shape of a flying car soared away from the explosion immediately afterward.

"NOOOOO!" Amethyst screamed in horror as the Crystal Gems watched Bane Jones seemingly die, sacrificing himself to save them all. "You had so much to live for! You can't just die like that!"

"Just calm down, Amethyst. He did the right thing regardless." Lapis said mournfully as she and Peridot wrapped Amethyst in a comforting hug, unaware that a certain someone had just landed.

"Now, who did the right thing, might I ask?" Bane smirked playfully as he stepped out of his Tormenta, to the Gems' delight at his survival. "Probably not The Sickle. He just had too much of an explosive temper."

"Holy cow, you're alive!" Bismuth cheered. "But how?"

"Rumbakini Tormenta, of course." Bane said while patting his car like a loyal pet. "Had to call it up in case something awful happened."

"Well, we're all glad you made it." Amethyst wiped some tears off her face before hugging the agent's legs. "Come here, big guy!"

"Still, it's a darn shame that The Sickle died before he could try to make amends with us." Pearl said, mourning how they didn't get a chance to change the Russian mastermind and perhaps save him from death. "But then again, I guess that's life. Sometimes you can't always get what you want."

"HOLD EVERYTHING, YOU FOOLS!" a disheveled Francis von Bowling yelled as he stood alongside Rasputina, Lennie, Milton, Konstantin, Pavel, and Leo, all yearning for revenge. "You may think you won after offing The Sickle, but you still forgot about us! Rasputina, ready your spells!"

"With pleasure!" Rasputina agreed before cracking open the grimoire and preparing one final spell. "With this spell declared, let these animals be snared!"

"Oh no you don't!" Bane declared and pulled out the derby hat one last time. This time, however, he successfully managed to get a hit and turn the spell against Rasputina and Francis before transforming them into an owl and a frog. "Someone call animal control. We got a wild pair on the loose."

"Oh man, oh geez!" Lennie yelled while holding the owl that was once his boss in his hands. "Milton, we gotta get the hell outta here! Grab the book and find a spell to save us!"

"But I don't know any magics." Milton replied with a shrug just as the Russian police stormed The Sickle's base and had both groups of henchmen arrested along with their transformed superiors.

"Looks like we're going to prison again, boys." Konstantin glumly proclaimed while the officers slapped handcuffs on the trio of assassins.

"I can't go back to jail; I can't handle any more abuse!" Pavel screamed in terror like a little girl.

"Oh, put a cork in it!" Leo yelled angrily while the head of the Russian Police stepped forward to meet the Gems.

"The Crystal Gems, am I correct?" the head officer said. "Are you the ones that stopped The Sickle?"

"Well, it was really Bane Jones who did it, but we helped. But why do you ask?" Lapis answered.

"I am asking because we wish to honor you after learning what you did." The officer replied. "Let bygones be bygones so we can start fresh!"

"Really, after all the prejudice you heaped onto us, now you want to say sorry?" Bismuth asked. "Listen here, buddy, we appreciate your sincerity, but it's gonna take a long while for everything to be forgotten about."

"We understand, miss." The officer said. "But please understand that not all Russians are against you. We just didn't speak up until now. Anyways, please come to Saint Petersburg with us so we can honor your deeds."

"Well, if you say so." Lapis agreed reluctantly.

"Whoo, party time!" Amethyst celebrated as the group left The Sickle's headquarters behind. However, none of them had a clue that Rasputina's grimoire was left behind in the building, with no one even considering bringing it along as evidence.

A few hours later, as the Crystal Gems were hailed as heroes for stopping World War III and Bane Jones was honored for his heroics, the spellbook was never moved from where it landed on the floor. Suddenly, however, the silhouette of Black Rutile approached the book, and she picked it up to read some of its pages herself.

"Hm, let's see what I can use from this book." Black Rutile purred to herself as she skimmed through the book. "Eye of Agamotto? No. Jewel of Four Souls? No. The Phoenix Gate? Maybe. Planispheric Disk? What good could that do?" Despite all the powerful artifacts that could aid in Black Rutile's cause, there was one in particular that she was very interested in. "Hm, what could this be?"

Black Rutile discovered a page detailing a mysterious amulet that the book dubbed the Seer to the Void, a jet-black stone wrapped in gold that was able to access planes of existence beyond mortal comprehension. "Planes of existence, huh?" With an evil smirk, Black Rutile closed the book and stored it inside her gem before she pulled out a communicator. "Black Rutile to Aquamarine, come in Aquamarine. Pardon my absence; I've just been away for a while. And what I've got for when I come home is sure to excite."

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 12: Samhain Night

"OMG, Jasper, I love your costume!" White Topaz squealed as she gawked at Jasper's purple bodysuit and white cape with shoulder pads, topped off with a matching turban that had a dark purple dome at the top. "I think it really fits you!"

"Thanks, Peridot helped me make it." Jasper replied as she looked at White Topaz's red bodysuit with crab-like claws and a large scorpion tail at the back. "How did you get the scorpion tail, honey?"

"Had to get a little help putting this together." White Topaz answered. "Look, I can even make it move!" She pulled on a string to make it pivot up and down.

Tonight was Samhain Night, the spookiest time of the year when people and Gems alike dress up in costumes and travel around to collect candy. The citizens of Little Homeworld were no different in getting into the Samhain spirit as they threw a big party to celebrate the occasion.

"So then I said, "OBJECTION!", and the guy just responded by taking a sip of coffee before giving his rebuttal!" Teal Zircon, who had her hair slicked back and a blue suit with a golden pin on her chest, said to Desert Glass, who was dressed as a chainsaw-wielding cheerleader with a plastic head hanging from her waist.

"How's my phone booth coming along?" Serpentine asked Nephrite and Albite. Serpentine was wearing a brown pinstripe suit and carried around a strange torch-like device in her hand. Nephrite was dressed in standard pilot gear with a duck bill over her lips, and Albite had on a straw hat, a red vest, jean shorts, and sandals. The two of them were constructing a navy-blue phone box for Serpentine to complete her costume with.

"Coming along quite nicely, Serpentine." Nephrite answered while putting the finishing touches. "It may not be bigger on the inside like you wanted, but I think we did our best regardless."

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's take a picture!" Albite declared as she pulled out a camera to snap photos of Serpentine posing with the box.

"Check it out, Demantoid; we're matching!" Beryl cheered as she compared his colorful shooting star sweater to Demantoid's pine tree cap and puffy vest. "Isn't that cool?!"

"I fail to see how we match." Demantoid replied bluntly as Pyrope towered beside her in a red biker jacket, black leggings with white boots, orange gloves with a metal bracelet, and her hair in a much shorter style. Just then, the Warp Pad started humming, and the Crystal Gems disembarked with their own costumes.

"Good evening, everyone!" Pearl greeted her students while dressed as an Amazon warrior in red and blue armor. "Is everyone having fun on Samhain Night?"

"I don't get it!" Black Rutile, dressed in a green cape over a metal suit of armor, declared. "What's the point of all the pumpkin carving and candy anyways? And don't give me any garbage excuses about how it brings us all together or something!"

"From what I've heard, this is supposed to be the end of the harvest season." Holly Blue replied while carving a pumpkin in a drill sergeant's uniform. "Hey, anyone seen Cat anywhere?"

"Last I checked, she was on the prowl for something." Aquamarine, who was wearing a strapless white dress and a matching bolero over it while her hair was styled into an off-center ponytail, responded. Just then, Cat's Eye leaped to the ground while dressed in a skin-tight catsuit with a hood with tiny cat ears attached to it.

"Oh, did someone call for me?" Cat's Eye asked while reaching into the pockets of her suit and grabbing some chocolates to eat. "I was just hunting for some candy, no big."

"Hey, speaking of candy, we got tons of it to share with everyone!" Amethyst exclaimed as she dumped out a giant pile of candy from a bag she kept in her gem, tucked away beneath her red and blue spiderweb-patterned suit. "And in addition, who wants to start telling spooky stories?!"

"Ooh, me, me!" various Gems began cheering as they asked to share their own stories for the night.

"Okay, one at a time, everyone." The fortune teller-dressed Garnet laughed warmly. "Now then, who wants to go first?"

"Hey, I got a story I'm sure no one has ever heard before!" Amethyst proclaimed. "Anyone want to know how I first joined the Crystal Gems?"

"We all know that, Amethyst." Bismuth replied, dressed in a flashy red and yellow costume with an X belt and red boots. "Rose found you in a Kindergarten one day and took you in, easy as that."

"You're right, Bismuth, but I'm not sure if we know the whole story." Lapis, wearing a blue top, brown skirt, black leggings, and brown fur-lined boots with her hair pulled back into a ponytail, pointed out as they gathered around the pile of candy.

"Yes, please tell us!" Peridot agreed as she sat down in her ratty tan-colored robes and pointy eyes hanging off her hair.

Extraterrestrials

Many years ago, long after the Rebellion had ended and Homeworld abandoned Earth, the Crystal Gems were left to defend Earth's inhabitants with their former brethren now forced off the planet. However, there was still the problem of their fellow rebels being converted into mutated beasts by the Diamonds' last strike upon the Crystal Gems. Since then, they dedicated themselves to containing the corrupted Gems and hoping they could find a way to save their friends from their fate.

One day, Rose Quartz ventured into a Kindergarten in search of any corrupted Gems to subdue. With the Rebellion over, the canyon was deathly quiet, almost like a graveyard or something. "Okay, Rose, just gotta get in, find some corrupted Gems, and get out." She said to herself. "Easy as that, right?"

Unfortunately for Rose, her mission wouldn't be so easy. Something let out a feral snarl that made Rose flinch in surprise before she dashed towards a hole in the canyon's walls to hide in. Just then, a corrupted Gem with a strange skeletal, biomechanical body, a blade-tipped tail, and an elongated head stalked through the Kindergarten in search of someone to make its prey. The Gem was bronze-colored and had a diaspore embedded in its forehead, indicating to Rose who the monster once was.

"Wait, is that Diaspore?" Rose gasped quietly upon recognizing the corrupted Gem outside. "Oh, that poor thing. She must be so scared and confused." Before Rose could go out and confront her former subordinate, she felt something tugging on the bottom of her dress, and she looked down to discover a little purple Gem trying to keep her from leaving. "Oh, hello, little Amethyst. Can I help you?"

"Yeah, I'm trying to save you!" Amethyst whispered. "That thing has been going around snatching up Gems that came out late like me and eating them! And I think I might be next, so don't give me away!"

"Came out late?" Rose asked. "Did you not emerge on time like all the other Amethysts made here?"

"Yeah, I think there might've been a war I missed out on, or something." Amethyst replied. "Ever since I came out, I've just been hanging out here by myself, playing with all the rocks I can find until that thing showed up."

"You poor thing!" Rose cried as she scooped Amethyst up in her fair-skinned arms and hugged her tightly. "You must've been so lonely all this time! Don't you worry, I have some friends who will welcome you when I bring you home."

"You really mean it?" Amethyst asked innocently.

"I most certainly do." Rose giggled as she tapped Amethyst's little nose before flinging the tiny purple Gem on her back. "Come on, let's get out of here before Diaspore finds us."

"Is that what it's called?" Amethyst asked as Rose began checking for the Gem she once knew as Diaspore to leave. "I've just been calling it the alien."

"That's a funny name." Rose chuckled at the nickname as Diaspore slowly crept away, giving the two Gems enough time to leave the hole and begin returning to the Warp Pad. "This is called a Warp Pad, Amethyst. Gems can use it to get anywhere in an instant."

"You mean anywhere, anywhere?" Amethyst asked as she admired the Warp Pad before her. "Even to the further corners of the universe?"

"I'm not entirely sure, but it wouldn't hurt to give it a shot someday." Rose said when she looked up to discover the Gem monster looming over them. "Uh, Amethyst!"

"What, something on my face?" Amethyst asked before she looked up to discover Diaspore as well. "Aw farts, it got us." Diaspore then let out a feral roar as it snatched up Amethyst and prepared to rip out her gem with its claws. Rose wouldn't stand for an innocent Gem having her life end so soon, so she retaliated by tossing her shield at Diaspore, knocking it out, and making it drop Amethyst into her arms.

"This site isn't safe; we need to run!" Rose yelled as she ran off with Amethyst in her arms. "Are you okay?"

"Only mildly traumatized, if that's what you're asking." Amethyst replied casually, even though she was nearly Diaspore's dinner. "Where are we gonna go now?"

"Any place far away from that thing!" Rose yelled in fright as the corrupted Gem formerly known as Diaspore got back up and charged at her and Amethyst. "By the way, I apologize for not introducing myself earlier. I'm Rose Quartz."

"Nice to meet you." Amethyst greeted Rose. "Anyways, keep running!" And run they did. Rose and Amethyst seemed to have covered the entire Kindergarten to try and escape from Diaspore, but unfortunately, the corrupted Gem seemed to follow them no matter what they did. All the while, the two were followed by this mysterious figure with stringy hair and a blue kimono that seemed to do nothing to stop either party.

"That thing is relentless." Rose panted as she and Amethyst found one last safe place to hide from Diaspore. "I don't think we can keep running for long. It seems we have no other choice but to fight it."

"I thought you'd never ask!" Amethyst said while raising her fists, eager to fight Diaspore before Rose put them down.

"No, Amethyst, it's too dangerous for you to go out there." Rose objected in a stern yet motherly fashion. "You already told me how it's hungry for defective Gems, and I'm not ready to let someone die so disgracefully!"

"But I can still help! Just let me out, and I'll give 'em what for!" Amethyst responded desperately, but Rose didn't answer before she marched out to face Diaspore. "Wait!"

"Diaspore, I know you're in there!" Rose called out to her former soldier. "It's me, Rose Quartz! I'm sorry that I couldn't save you, but I didn't have enough time to gather everyone up! If you'd please stand down and let me talk, I'm sure we can make amends."

"Roooose." Diaspore snarled hatefully at Rose. "ROOOOSE!" Filled with anger at being left behind by her fearless leader, Diaspore pounced on her and let out a feral shriek, revealing a pharyngeal jaw inside her mouth to threaten her with.

"Rose, look out!" Amethyst cried from afar as Diaspore prepared to tear Rose's gem from her belly and turn it into its snack. Though Rose ordered Amethyst to stay put out of concern for her safety, Amethyst refused to watch while this beast killed the Gem who had treated her like a daughter. Reaching for her own gem, Amethyst suddenly pulled out a whip and gazed in awe at her weapon before rushing into battle. "Hey!"

"Hm?" Diaspore muttered as she confusedly looked at Amethyst. Rose gasped in alarm as she discovered Amethyst deliberately disobeying her commands to save someone she barely knew.

"Get away from her, you bitch!" Amethyst screamed angrily as she tried to throw her whip at Diaspore's neck and strangle her with it.

"Amethyst, what are you doing?" Rose asked as she took the opportunity to escape from Diaspore's grasp by rolling away from her.

"Saving you, that's what!" Amethyst replied as she wrapped her whip even tighter around Diaspore's neck. "You did the same to me!" With a final shriek, Diaspore poofed in a cloud of smoke from being strangled by Amethyst, leaving only her gem to be collected by Rose. "You're welcome."

"Oh, Amethyst, I can't thank you enough for saving me from her." Rose sighed in relief before sending Diaspore's gem away. "I think Garnet and Pearl would love having you around. You still want me to take you away from here?"

"Sure, I'd like that." Amethyst blushed at the offer before Rose took her tiny, purple hand and walked her back to the Warp Pad. And the rest, as they would say, was history.

"And that was the story of how I met Rose!" Amethyst concluded her tale. "I felt like telling this story to show everyone that despite all the messed up and shady stuff she did, Rose still cared for others."

"Hey guys, what are you talking about?" a bronze-colored Gem wearing glasses and dressed in a white lab coat with a light blue undershirt and brown pants asked as she walked over to join everyone gathered around the candy pile, much to everyone's surprise.

"Oh, hey Diaspore, I was just talking about how I first met Rose." Amethyst said. "No hard feelings about being choked out?"

"Water under the bridge!" Diaspore chuckled before she looked around at the Gems staring at her in surprise. "What?"

"Were you always there and we just never noticed you until now?" Laz asked. She was wearing a blue coat with white fur lining, a darker colored shawl, and a matching Cossack hat to top it off, making her contrast Zuli's costume of a soft purple tank top with a blue swirl on her chest, a khaki skirt and hiking boots, and purple legwarmers over the boots.

"Why did you choose now to show up?" Zuli added just as quizzically.

"Well, I found the story to be quite adorable." Pyrope stated.

"Am I the only one not impressed with that story?" Black Rutile complained with a lollipop in her mouth. "It just sounds like you ripped off a movie or something. And what about that girl with the long hair?"

"Yeah, what's up with that?" Emerald added, just as confused. She wore a blue bodysuit with yellow and white body armor over her torso.

"Strange, I don't think I remember that part." Amethyst pondered as she felt a sudden chill up her spine, followed by the figure from her story looming behind her. When Amethyst turned around, however, the figure had vanished. "Uh, why don't we have someone else share a story?"

"I'll go!" Pearl exclaimed. "Now, to set the scene, if I had to describe my tale in one word, it would be 'groovy'."

Pearl of Darkness

"I'm being serious here; you need these refrigerators!" Jasper yelled at a departing customer of S-Hop as they were leaving. "Ugh, another one lost." She groaned. "Pearl!"

"Yes, Miss Jasper?" S-Hop salesclerk Pearl Williams asked her superior before she was tossed the keys to the store.

"You're locking up tonight, Pearl." Jasper said while putting on a jacket and preparing to leave. "And one more thing, don't go near the books section. I hear it might be haunted. Some stock we got recently might be the cause of that."

"Oh, I'm sure it's all just superstitious nonsense, Jasper." Pearl laughed smugly. "In fact, I'll go check on my way out to prove you wrong!"

"Well, don't come crying to me if you suddenly disappear or become surrounded by monsters." Jasper responded. "Have a good night!"

Pearl Williams lived a simple life as a blue-collar employee of S-Hop devoted to doing her job perfectly. She did everything her bosses told her to the letter and always carried an air of stoic professionalism as well. However, it was this night when she decided to inspect the store's books section that would change everything.

"Hmph, haunted book, I'll show them." Pearl arrogantly scoffed to herself as she marched over to check out the mysterious stock haunting the store. But if she would have to contend with supernatural forces, Pearl armed herself with a twelve-gauge double-barreled shotgun from the weapons department. As she slowly inspected each of the books, Pearl thought she had seen a ghost of some kind with long, stringy hair lurking about. But it suddenly disappeared before she could get any answers about who the spirit was. "Oh, you're just seeing things, Pearl."

Finally, Pearl walked over to the horror section of the books and found exactly what was causing these rumors. Looking through each of the horror novels, she discovered one of them that stood out as one she recognized a little too much.

"No, the Necronomicon?!" she gasped as she began getting flashbacks. She remembered how the mysterious book of the dead once hijacked a trip she took with some friends to the mountains as a teenager, and how she had to chop off her hand with a chainsaw to keep herself from getting possessed by the demons the book unleashed. "I thought I destroyed this thing ages ago! How did it wind up here?"

"Why don't you read it and find out?" a strange voice whispered beckoningly to Pearl before the Necronomicon opened by itself and found an incantation for its holder to read.

"Uh, Tar-tra Kanda-Estra, Hudsucker Proxy – Kanda?" Pearl read the incantation confusedly. After a few seconds of dead silence convinced Pearl that this might be a trick, a rift suddenly opened in front of her and began sucking her in. "Okay, I was wrong; this place is haunted!" Pearl cried as she tried to save herself. "Someone save me!" Unfortunately for Pearl, no one could help her escape from wherever, or rather whenever, she would be flung to by the Necronomicon, which was sucked in with her.

Moments later, Pearl woke up to a blue sky and a bright sun above her, relieving her that she wasn't sent to the bowels of hell by her curiosity. But what really baffled her were the men on horseback surrounding her. "Um, hello there, sirs. Could you tell me where I am? The last thing I remember was reading from that scary book and landing here."

"Where are you, lass?" one of the men said as a priest confiscated Pearl's weapons. "Welcome to the 14th century! And you might be the hero prophesized to save us from the forces of darkness!"

"Hero? I think you got it all wrong. I'm just an average blue-collar working girl trapped in the past." Pearl said as she was carried away by the horse riders and got an explanation of what she had just heard.

"You see, milady, legend has it that an everyday hero shall fall from the heavens and use the most unorthodox weapons to fight back against the beasts known as the Skeletites and save our land from the evil armies of darkness." The lead horseman explained to Pearl as they got closer to a large castle in the distance. "Perhaps in exchange for your services, our lord Ashton shall lend his assistance in bringing you back to your realm."

"Oh, I would find that most divine, sir!" Pearl exclaimed in delight while she was let off the horse and shown to the castle, where a king with shaggy black hair and a missing hand not unlike Pearl's own awaited her. "Hello there, sir, my name is Pearl," Pearl introduced herself with a curtsy. "And I have been brought here from afar to help your kingdom stop the Skeletite threat."

"About time too!" Lord Ashton exclaimed in relief. "We were in the middle of a war with Henry the Crimson when these creatures suddenly appeared and killed almost everyone! Coincidentally, they appeared around the same time you might've shown up."

"Speaking of which, I was brought here by a book called the Necronomicon, and I think it came with me, but now I can't seem to find it." Pearl explained, causing the king to contemplate her statement for a bit.

"Well, if you need to find this Necronomicon, I suggest you go look for the graveyard in the haunted forest." Lord Ashton revealed. "Once you find the book, speak the phrase Klaatu Barada Nikto to open a way back to your time. Got it? Good." He snapped his fingers, allowing Pearl to regain her chainsaw and shotgun. "In the meantime, we should be expecting some Skeletites coming to raid our castle by sundown, so best be armed. And also, we already had someone prepare you something to replace your hand with."

A blacksmith entered the scene with a mechanical prosthetic hand for Pearl to equip, and she was pleased to have two working hands again. "Groovy."

For the remainder of Pearl's stay in the 14th century, she spent her days fighting off the malicious Skeletites and researching ways to find a way home to the 21st century. Eventually, she would learn where the graveyard where the Necronomicon, and thus her ticket out of Lord Ashton's kingdom, was located. It was in the far reaches of the land where no soul dared to tread, but Pearl took that as a challenge and set out for the graveyard.

As Pearl trudged through the graveyard, she once again felt like something was watching her. Perhaps the same stringy-haired girl that haunted her back in S-Hop. Once again, however, the girl disappeared once Pearl turned around.

"I swear, Pearl, you must be seeing things again." Pearl murmured to herself as she continued her quest. "Guess that's what happens when you're stuck in the past for what feels like ages now." Just then, she heard something rustling in the woods surrounding her. "Who's there? Come on out!" she yelled while raising her sawed-off shotgun. "This is my boomstick, and I know how to use it!"

As if accepting Pearl's challenge, a large Skeletite emerged from the trees and let out a nasty roar. True to their name, the Skeletites were large, skeletal-like creatures resembling the fossils of prehistoric animals, and the one Pearl faced wouldn't look out of place in a pack of woolly mammoths. The Skeletite would soon be joined by its brethren, one resembling a ground sloth and the other looking like a saber-toothed tiger, all of them ready to attack Pearl.

"I don't care what you throw at me, I'm getting that book!" Pearl yelled as she cut off the mammoth Skeletite's tusk with her chainsaw before running for shelter, even with the Skeletites continuing to pursue her. Thankfully, Pearl was able to hide away in an abandoned windmill, where she hoped the monsters would forget about her and move on.

"Oh, as if things can't get any more hectic!" Pearl sighed in exhaustion as she leaned against a mirror in the windmill. However, the mirror wasn't propped up against the wall and fell to the ground before breaking into pieces. Pearl yelped in pain as she fell on her back on the glass shards. "Ouch, ouchie, ow! That stings!" Pearl got up, and the pieces began sliding off her, while she picked up a larger piece to contemplate. "I wonder what will happen next?"

As Pearl walked away, she got her answer in the form of numerous smaller Pearls climbing out of the mirror pieces and gathering around her with devilish giggles. "Hey, big lady, over here!" one of the Mini Pearls yelled with a wicked grin. "Think fast!"

"Who said that?" Pearl asked when she looked down at all the Mini Pearls climbing up her body while continuing their mischievous laughter. "Okay, I think I've officially gone insane!"

"How's this for insane?" a Mini Pearl asked before she and her buddies picked up a large sledgehammer to slam Pearl in the knees with, causing her to fall over while yelling in pain. "TIMBER!"

"AAAAAAH!" Pearl screamed in both pain and terror as she nearly landed headfirst into the fireplace behind her. As the Mini Pearls began laughing at her expense and high-fiving each other, Pearl got back up and cracked her neck before frowning angrily at them. "Okay, you little miscreants, you want a fight? You got one!"

"What are you gonna do, stomp all over us?" one of the Mini Pearls dared with an evil grin, only to quickly eat her words before Pearl tried doing precisely that. As the Mini Pearl tried running for her life, the bigger Pearl started singing.

"London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down!" Pearl tauntingly sang while pursuing the Mini Pearl. However, the Mini Pearl thought quickly on her feet and, just as she was about to get crushed by Pearl's boot, grabbed a nearby nail to replace herself with. "London Bridge is falling d-OW!"

"My fair lady, ha!" four Mini Pearls finished the nursery rhyme in a mocking tone. Pearl began wincing in pain as she tried to slowly remove the nail without hurting herself, but that was easier said than done with her obnoxious smaller duplicates running amok and causing more chaos.

"I think I've just about had enough of you brats." Pearl growled as she got up and tried reaching for her boomstick. Unfortunately for her, it wasn't there. "Oh dear, you didn't!" she cried. "Let me guess, you're right behind me, ready to shoot me with my gun, huh?"

"Actually, no." another Mini Pearl answered, to Pearl's relief. "We're right below you." Pearl then looked down and discovered that the Mini Pearls had taken control of her gun. And it was aimed straight at her privates. "Surprise!"

"Classy." Pearl grimaced in disgust before she dodged the first shot and immediately ran out of the windmill, her escape complicated by the limp gained from removing the nail from her foot. The Mini Pearls stampeded out of the windmill in hot pursuit, plotting to continue their reign of mischief, while Pearl refused to give up on the Necronomicon, even when the Skeletites soon joined the Mini Pearls.

"Come on, just a little closer!" Pearl muttered as she kept fighting off Skeletites and Mini Pearls with her chainsaw, limping ever so closer to the graveyard where the book of the dead was sure to be found. But to her surprise, there was not one, not two, but three Necronomicons awaiting her in the graveyard. "Three of them?! Are you kidding me?!"

As the Skeletites and the Mini Pearls reached the graveyard, the forces of Lord Ashton arrived in the nick of time to hold them off. In addition, the armies of Henry the Crimson were there as well, having sided with Lord Ashton to stop the Skeletite menace.

"We'll handle everything from here; just read the book!" Lord Ashton urged Pearl.

"But which one?!" Henry the Crimson added hurriedly. "There's three of them!"

"I'm trying my best, okay?" Pearl exclaimed while two of the Necronomicons suddenly came to life. One flew around and tried to suck her in, while the other wanted to bite her. However, the third did nothing, implying to Pearl that it was the real book she was looking for. "Bingo!" Once she finally picked up the book, Pearl began to recite the incantation she needed to get back home. "Okay, hope I get this right. Klaatu Barada N-"

Suddenly, Pearl heard a gunshot ring out and swiftly dodged it, interrupting the chant as she saw the Mini Pearls gather before her. "Not so fast, Big Pearl." One of the Mini Pearls snickered. "We still got one last trick up our sleeves!" The Pearls then all gathered together and stood on top of each other to match Pearl's exact height, and then they suddenly merged together to form a replica of her. Only instead, this one was shamelessly evil. "Hey there, Good Pearl, my name's Evil Pearl!"

"So you're basically me, but evil?" Pearl pointed out the obvious.

"Bingo, you little goody two shoes!" Evil Pearl grinned. "Little goody two shoes, little goody two shoes!" Before Evil Pearl could go any longer, the regular Pearl took back her boomstick and fired at her counterpart's face, and snatched the Necronomicon before she began fleeing. "After her!" she commanded the Skeletites fighting Lord Ashton and Henry the Crimson's men.

The monsters gave chase, but Pearl was a far quicker thinker than the beasts realized. With the Necronomicon tucked underneath her arm, Pearl fired her boomstick at the Skeletites and tore them all down with her chainsaw. "Anyone else wants a piece of me?!"

"Just who do you think you are?!" Evil Pearl snarled. "I will swallow your soul!"

"Pearl Williams, housewares." Pearl responded coolly. "Come and get some." With a final charge, the two Pearls swung their chainsaws at each other in their epic clash. While Pearl came out with quite a few scars, eventually, she emerged victorious over her doppelganger and had her buried by the windmill, while the Skeletites were destroyed once and for all. With Evil Pearl slain, now she could finally return home.

"Good work, miss." Lord Ashton thanked Pearl for her heroics. "For your show of heroism in the face of total peril, we hereby award you with this potion made using ingredients in the Necronomicon." The priest who confiscated Pearl's weapons earlier presented Pearl with an elixir to drink. "In just a few sips, you shall fall into a deep slumber and reawaken in your own time!"

"But what about the incantation?" Pearl asked, wondering if her quest was all for nothing as she took the bottle. "Eh, I'll think of it later. Now, bottoms up!" A few chugs of the elixir later, Pearl was out cold for quite possibly the next couple of centuries, though whether she'd wake up home at last is unknown.

"The end." Pearl proclaimed. "Hail to the queen, baby!"

"So then, what happened?" Morganite, who tied her hair up into a chonmage and wore a white robe for her costume, asked. "Did she wake up back in her own time or even longer than that?"

"News flash, I don't care." Eyeball rolled her eyes. She was dressed in a lime green hoodie and a blue hard hat with an M on it. "But still, where did that strange girl come from?"

"What strange girl?" Navy, wearing a red pinstripe suit and a balaclava over her head with a cigarette in her mouth, asked curiously.

"I think it might be the same one from Amethyst's story." Squaridot analyzed, unaware that the same ghost was hovering over her. She was wearing a pair of flight goggles, a baggy white shirt, and tight black shorts while carrying around a stuffed corgi.

"Well, if we're done plagiarizing, then I have my own story to tell!" Black Rutile proudly declared, only to be interrupted by Garnet.

"I don't think we should worry too much." Garnet tried calming everyone down as Pearl looked around for the ghost. "Now, let's move on to my story. It's a standard horror set-up, a bunch of rowdy teenagers fighting for their lives against a seemingly unstoppable monster. But there's a twist." She started flickering a flashlight below her face. "THE MONSTER IS ME!"

Nightmare on Diamond Pond

It was a warm summer's night at Camp Diamond Pond. A group of rowdy teenagers were camping there for the evening and decided to pass the time by telling each other scary stories by the campfire.

"I got one." Sour Cream said. "It's about this freaky witch lady who was trapped in a mirror as a way of escaping the Salem witch trials. One day, a boy finds the mirror in a pawn shop and accidentally sets the witch free because he thinks she needs a friend. But the witch was using him to escape and seek vengeance on Salem for persecuting her kind, so she stole all the water from the nearby lake and flooded the town!"

"Boo, not scary at all!" Jenny complained. "Anyone else got something scarier?"

"I got one, and it's based on real life." Buck Dewey proclaimed. "This is the story of the Elm Street Smasher. Legend has it that a psycho child killer haunts our dreams and plots to kill us all. It all started when someone didn't leave the door closed at an asylum, and thus the bloodthirsty Garnie Jason was born." He told his frightening tale. "She smashed in the faces of twenty kids in their nightmares before she was found out by the parents, who gave Garnie her just desserts. But even so, her spirit lives on after she struck a deal with some dream demons to become unstoppable. And who knows? Maybe she could be haunting us the moment we close our eyes."

"Wow, that was certainly better than anything I could come up with." Sour Cream declared as Buck finished his story. "Well, I'm turning in for the night. See you guys in the morning."

"Ooh, maybe we should stay up! What if Garnie comes for us?" Kiki jokingly suggested with a laugh, causing the other cool kids to laugh as well. "But in all seriousness, I'm a little worried about her."

"Ah, don't worry, it's just a story." Jenny assured her sister. "It's not like Garnie is real, right?" As the teens went to their tents for the night, a distinct silhouette of a woman with a square head and brass knuckles on her hand lurked about, ready to find someone to kill.

"Yeah, just a story." Garnie Jason smirked evilly as a stringy-haired girl appeared beside her. "Hey, do you mind? I'm going to kill some teenagers here." The girl nodded and abruptly disappeared, leaving Garnet to fade into smoke and enter one of the tents. What happened next would soon turn disastrous.

A few minutes later, Buck and Sour Cream heard Jenny scream from her and Kiki's tent, and they rushed to see what was up. To their horror, Kiki was lying dead on the ground with her face caved in and strange handprints on her neck, almost like someone had strangled her.

"Oh my gosh, Garnie might be real!" Sour Cream exclaimed. "Jenny, did anyone pop into your tent earlier?"

"No, I just heard Kiki choking to death!" Jenny replied. "We gotta call someone; call 911!"

"On it!" Buck said and tried to call for help on his phone. Unfortunately, nobody seemed to pick up. "Seems like we have a bad signal here. Or maybe…."

"Ah ah ah, you didn't say the magic word." Garnie Jason's voice taunted Buck as he realized what he was in for. "The number you have dialed cannot be reached. Please hang up and try again."

"She's onto us; we gotta run!" Buck remarked in terror as he tried to run for his life towards the camp's docks, but Garnie was in pursuit of him via rowboat. When she finally caught up with Buck, Garnie had an oar at the ready.

"Permission to come aboard?" Garnie smirked before she bludgeoned Buck to death with just one swing, sending him flying into the lake and leaving him to drown. "Hm, need to think of better puns."

Jenny and Sour Cream rushed down to the docks, where they found Garnie having already killed Buck, and thus they were the only ones left standing against this psychotic serial killer.

"Friends of yours?" Garnie asked the two surviving teens as she hopped out of the boat. "Apologies, they were trespassing on one of my favorite places to kill people. No hard feelings, right?"

"Oh, all the hard feelings, alright!" Sour Cream yelled defiantly and tried to fight Garnie with a fishing rod, while Jenny protested him not to be so reckless. "This one is for my friends!"

"I guess fishing season must be in." Garnie said coldly as she grabbed the fishing line with one hand and sent it flying back to Sour Cream, tying it around his neck and leaving him to hang on a lamppost, and then she turned to face Jenny. "Final girl, huh? How lucky you must be." She then began to slowly march towards Jenny, who immediately began making a run for it. What happened next was left unknown, but they both had vanished from the camp by the following day.

"The end." Garnet menacingly concluded, to the horror of the other Gems. "So, what did we all think?"

"Okay, I'll admit, that was pretty scary." Black Rutile confessed. "The way she ruthlessly murdered all those kids, ooh, it sends tingles down my spine! And what about that freaky ghost in there too?"

"I don't remember a ghost!" Garnet exclaimed as the ghost became clearer and frightened the Gems. However, there seemed to be something on her solar plexus that indicated there was more to her than meets the eye. "I can't believe it; the ghost was real!"

"I shoulda known there was something fishy about her appearing in all our stories!" Pearl added while drawing her sword. "Come and face us!" However, the ghost didn't seem to move, nor did it even acknowledge them as the sword Pearl threw phased right through her. "Hm, that's odd."

"What even is she?" Yellow Pearl muttered nervously while Blue Pearl and Volleyball hid behind her. Yellow Pearl was wearing a pink dress with a big red hairbow, while Blue was wearing a blue dress, and Volleyball was dressed in green.

"Maybe it's friendly." Blue Pearl tried reaching out to the girl, but the girl grabbed her wrist tightly, giving Blue Pearl a scare before Volleyball saved her.

"Is that all it's doing?" Volleyball wondered.

"It's just standing there! Menacingly!" Amethyst yelled. "What do we do?!"

"Well, if it's not going to do anything, then allow me to present my tale." Black Rutile proclaimed. "It is a totally original story that does not steal from any already existing movie. And I call it-"

The Black-xorcist

On a stormy night in Beach City, a tall, dark-skinned priest stood outside a house beneath a lamppost. He had been called in by a worried mother and traveled all the way from Dover to investigate her cry for help. After slowly walking towards the front door and starting to knock, the mother answered by opening the door. "Hello there, my name is Father Black. May I come in?

"Oh, thank you for coming on such short notice!" Vidalia sighed in relief. "It's about my little boy, Onion. He's been acting strangely lately since I bought that statue from the thrift shop."

"Now, hang on a second!" Amethyst cried out, interrupting the story and making Vidalia & Father Black look up at the sky. "You're choosing Onion? Wouldn't it make more sense if it were Steven since you hate him so much?"

"I may hate Steven, but Onion absolutely terrifies me!" Black Rutile answered. "I'm not even sure if he's human or not! Now let me finish." The story then resumed as usual.

"Children, am I right?" Father Black dryly remarked as Vidalia led him inside her house and up the stairs. "And you said it was the fault of a statue?"

"I'm not sure yet," Vidalia answered. "But if you want to know, just see for yourself." She opened the door to Onion's room. To her and the priest's surprise, he wasn't there. However, Father Black was completely undeterred as he stepped into the room. "Good luck, father."

"Hello, Onion?" Father Black called out for the strange boy. "My name is Father Black. Your mother summoned me here because she is greatly concerned for you."

"My mother?" a voice rang out across the room as Onion levitated into view, his mouth full of grimy fangs, a long, green tongue slithering out of his mouth, and bloodshot red eyes staring straight into his soul. "Well, yo mama really enjoyed my company, if you catch my drift!"

"You leave my dear mother out of this." Black stoically replied. "Now then, could you please tell me your name and how you came into possession of this little boy's body?"

"Oh, playin' the name game now, are we?" Onion cackled. "But since I'm such a nice guy, you can call me Zapupu. You may remember me for causing the following natural disasters, like the San Francisco earthquakes, the Yellow River Flood, Hurricane Katrina, or whatever gender reveal parties have nearly caused a societal collapse!"

"You fiend." Father Black cursed Zapupu. "How long have you been causing such death and destruction?"

"What do you mean death and destruction?!" Zapupu exclaimed angrily. "I was making dinner; it's what I've been doing since the dawn of time! Heck, you should've seen what I did to Pompeii!"

"Your chaos shall not go on for any longer!" Father Black declared as he picked up a statue of Zapupu that was resting next to a painting of the ghost girl. "Was this how you were able to possess him?!"

"Of course, after some schmuck bought that at the thrift shop!" Zapupu chuckled, making Vidalia hide away in shame. "So go ahead Blacky-Boy, hit me with your best shot!"

"With pleasure." Father Black smirked as he threw the statue at Onion, sending him crashing into the wall and breaking the statue.

"No, wait, I didn't mean it like that!" Zapupu cried out in surrender. "I'm a psychotic demon and proud of it, but this is a child I'm possessing here! You're a man of the cloth!" To save himself, Zapupu generated a pair of glasses to put on. "You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?" Father Black took the glasses off Onion's face and smacked him with them. "You hit a guy with glasses. Well played, big guy."

"May the power of Christ compel you!" Father Black boomed as he prepared to lay the hurt on Zapupu.

"And Father Black started beating the boy within an inch of his life to expel the demon!" Black Rutile ended her story in a surprisingly violent fashion, horrifying all her listeners and even the ghost girl as she went into excruciating detail on how badly Father Black beat Onion.

"Geez, man, calm down!" White Topaz yelled. "We get that you find Onion creepy, but do you seriously want to kill him?!"

"I don't know." Black Rutile answered. "I'm not even sure if he can be killed, to be honest."

"Well, that sure was gruesome." Pearl declared awkwardly. "Well, anyone else has a story to tell?"

"I got one." The ghost girl declared in a high-pitched voice. "My name is Dumortierite, though some of you may just know me as the Lighthouse Monster."

"Wait, I think Steven told us about you." Amethyst realized. "I kinda thought you were another Topaz. Plus, where were you this whole time?"

"That's the thing; I was an archivist." Dumortierite revealed as she presented her gem on her solar plexus. "I'm supposed to be in charge of gathering data, which is how I was able to enter all your wonderful stories." She then demonstrated her telekinetic and flight abilities by grabbing herself some candy to eat from the pile. "I was trapped in that lighthouse after being corrupted, where I was embittered by all the hatred and toxicity humans showed each other, even close friends."

"Yeah, that's bound to happen." Black Rutile proclaimed. "Now, go away so I won't have to listen to your generic sob story, Dummy."

"I said it was my turn!" Dumortierite yelled angrily, causing her eyes to turn red with fury and blood-red veins to appear on her body, but she immediately calmed down and continued. "When I was freed of my curse, I would be given a different curse—the curse of rejection. I felt alone and scared in this new world, so I hid myself away and tried going from town to town for a place to belong. But unfortunately, they all turned me away."

"Oh dear, poor thing." Pearl said as she gave Dumortierite a warm hug. "I can assure you; humans aren't all like that. They're just afraid of what they don't understand."

"Yeah, they're scared of what they can't control and all that!" Black Rutile commented sarcastically as she walked away. "Go ahead, Dummy, move in all you like, just don't get into any of my business."

"You're welcome to attend Dumortierite. Just keep an eye out on Black Rutile there." Garnet assured Dumortierite. "She's planning something big, and while we know she plans on accessing other dimensions, we have no idea what she'll do afterward."

Meanwhile, Black Rutile had returned home and pulled off her iron mask to reach for Rasputina's spellbook in her gem. "Now, let's see where I can find this Seer." She muttered as she continued to check its pages.

Later that night, everyone was standing around in a field presenting their costumes to each other, and Teal saw fit to comment on one of them. "Hey, Serpy, I really like your Inspector Spacetime get-up!" Teal complimented Serpentine's costume. "Which one are you supposed to be again? I always keep getting them mixed up."

"I'm the one who hates pears, FYI." Serpentine answered before turning to Desert Glass. "A cheerleader? How quaint."

"Not just any cheerleader, a zombie-killed sexy cheerleader!" Desert Glass proudly proclaimed. "What gave it away, the head?"

"What kind of cheerleader carries around a decapitated head?" Yellow Pearl asked. "Luckily, my costume is far less violent."

"And what are you supposed to be, Garnet?" Peridot asked about the fusion's costume. "Some kind of flying carpet racer?"

"Far from it." Garnet answered. "I'm actually a fortune teller with the power to generate fire, but I didn't have enough time to get a flame chicken."

"Well, I can see you all have wonderful costumes, everyone." Pearl declared. "Now then, anyone up for more candy?"

"Did you need to ask?" Amethyst replied with a smile.

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 13: Snowfall Feast

Ah, Snowfall Feast. It's the most wonderful, merriest time of the year. Fun for all that everyone, human and Gem alike, calls their favorite holiday. Yes, everyone loved Snowfall Feast a lot. However, the ever-unabashedly unpleasant Black Rutile did not. She just hated Snowfall Feast, the whole holiday season. But why do you ask is her reason?

"I just don't see the point of it all!" Black Rutile complained. "It's absolutely abhorrent! Why should everyone be merry when my time here has been nothing but pain?!" Throwing on a white scarf, Black Rutile stormed outside her house to continue fuming, as she watched all the Gems decorate their homes with typically festive decorations. "Like, I have suffered nothing but setback after setback, failure after failure! And instead of just shattering me on the spot, they subject me to a fate worse than harvesting!"

"Hey, Black Rutile, happy Snowfall Feast!" Tiger's Eye exclaimed while giving her a Santa hat to wear. "You like it? I made it myself!"

"Thank you; I am very touched." Black Rutile growled as she marched away from Tiger's Eye. "Like, why do the denizens of this disgusting planet choose now of all times to actually play nice with each other when they just go back to bullying each other for the rest of the year?"

"Something troubling you, my Rutile?" Aquamarine asked as she flew down to perch on Black Rutile's shoulder. "You don't seem to be in a merry mood."

"Gee, I wonder what tipped you off?" Black Rutile dryly replied as she sat down on a snow-covered bench. "So, what have you been up to?"

"Just helping with the decorations." Aquamarine responded. "How about you?"

"Too busy working on the Vortexxer to get into this silly spirit." Black Rutile proclaimed. "Like I said, why do people choose now of all times to be nice to each other when no one here has been nice to me?"

"Maybe it's because you're so unbelievably selfish and think the universe has to bend to your whims, that you think everyone has to act as you say?" Aquamarine responded under her breath, catching her master's attention. "I mean, yeah, why does nothing ever go your way?!"

"I heard what you said, and yes, I totally don't take offense to being called selfish because I know a certain someone who's no better." Black Rutile added. "That reminds me, what are the Crystal Gems doing for the holiday?"

Meanwhile, the townies were also getting into the holiday spirit in Beach City. Families and friends had reunited for the season, and the Crystal Gems were no different. However, one family, in particular, wasn't as together as one member wanted it to be. As the Gems baked cookies, wrapped presents, and decorated the beach house, Greg solemnly gazed out the window while drinking some hot cocoa and sighing.

"Problems, Greg?" Pearl's paramour Sheena Synstylae asked the rock star-turned-father as she sat down next to him by the window.

"Oh, hey, Sheena." Greg casually greeted Sheena. "Just thinking about my family right now. I mean, I already got a great one with Steven and the Gems and all his friends, but I can't help but think of my parents now. Aside from Andy, my fam hasn't been together in years, as far as I know. And after hearing about how Steven made amends with Rose, it made me think about my folks and how they're doing after I moved out."

"I can relate." Sheena concurred. "Never had the best relationship with my stepmom myself. Oy gevalt, the stories I could tell you about her! Like, this one time she accidentally took my makeup, and I think I nearly got gray hairs trying to get it back!"

"Hehe, nice." Greg laughed softly before taking a sip of hot chocolate. "Did you two manage to patch things up?"

"Eh, it was half and half." Sheena replied. "We're on better terms now, but we still get on each other's nerves from time to time. Take the good with the bad, as they say."

"Oh, Sheena honey, there you are!" Pearl exclaimed as she walked over to her pink-haired lover and kissed her on the cheek. "And what a coincidence I found you talking with Greg because I was about to give him some great news!"

"What kind of news, Pearl?" Greg asked Pearl.

"Well, I overheard you talking about your parents just now, which reminded me that I arranged for them to come over for Snowfall Feast!" Pearl exclaimed. "Isn't that delightful? I can't wait for Steven to meet your folks once he comes over!"

"Wait, they're coming, here, now?!" Greg yelped in shock at the news. "But, you, I, parents, Rose, dead, Steven, alien-"

"Yo, something wrong here?" Amethyst asked while eating some leftover cookie dough out of the container. "What's this about Greg's parents coming over?"

"Well, that's the thing." Greg responded. "How can my parents possibly respond to the big pink elephant in the room?"

"Pink elephant? What could you possibly mean?" Pearl wondered, only to immediately realize what Greg was talking about. "Oh right, Rose."

"Yeah, gonna be pretty hard to tell everyone that your wife was an alien warrior who died in childbirth, even if everyone knows who the Gems are now." Sheena said. "Hey, Pearl fell for me because I was a near-dead ringer for her. Why don't I fill in?"

"I have an even better idea!" Amethyst declared before she began shapeshifting into Rose. However, Greg quickly stopped her mid-transformation.

"No, no, no, let's not do that all over again!" Greg yelled frightfully, not wanting to be reminded of the last time Amethyst did something like that. "I think maybe we try to be as honest with them as possible." Suddenly, he got a different idea. "Or maybe….." He then suddenly grabbed Pearl by the wrist and dragged her along to the Warp Pad so she could be used to activate it and send them away.

"What's up with Greg?" Bismuth wondered quizzically, stopping her decorating of the tree to watch Greg make off with her and Sheena's mutual girlfriend.

"Daddy issues." Garnet flatly responded. "I don't think I want to know what harebrained schemes can come out of this."

"You know what this reminds me of?" Amethyst asked. "That one Lil Butler Christmas special where the butler disguised as the neighbor's grandpa!"

"Oh please, it can't be that bad!" Peridot remarked while she and Lapis wrapped presents together. "I mean, what's the worse that can happen?" As if the universe wanted to answer Peridot, Greg and Pearl finally returned from their sojourn with a Rose Quartz that looked almost exactly like the one who formerly led the Crystal Gems following them.

"Um, pardon me for being rude," Lapis said. "but what's this Rose clone doing here?"

"Phew, you had no idea how long this took us!" Greg panted in exhaustion. "I had to go to another galaxy just to find a suitable replacement!"

"Uh, hi Crystal Gems, nice to see you again." The shy Rose nervously greeted. "Happy Snowfall Feast, I guess."

"Hey, isn't she one of those Rose Quartzes from the zoo?" Amethyst asked. "How are they possibly going to believe this?"

"I got a plan, everyone." Greg stated. "We're going to act all nice and normal, so that means no weird powers, no fusing, and no shapeshifting in front of my folks. If any of you slip up, we'll say we live an alternative lifestyle. And whatever you do, don't mention the war."

"Yep, totally a harebrained scheme." Garnet nodded just as the front door opened, and in walked Steven Universe, having decided to take a break from his road trip to return home for the holidays. "Steven!"

"Hi, everyone, happy Snowfall Feast!" Steven greeted everyone in the beach house before locking eyes with the lookalike of his mother standing next to Greg. Even if he amicably parted ways with the trio of Rose Quartzes, he never guessed he'd see any of them again, especially this one. "Uh, what did I miss?"

"Closer, closer!" Black Rutile muttered to herself as she started running some tests on the nearly completed Vortexxer. "Just a little more!" As the portal began showing some signs of life, Black Rutile's front door suddenly opened, and in walked White Topaz and Jasper, both dressed for the weather and bringing cookies inside.

"Happy Snowfall Feast, Black Rutile!" White Topaz yelled happily, causing her former boss to lose concentration and the Vortexxer to fizzle out, much to her disappointment.

"No!" Black Rutile yelled angrily before turning to glare at the pair. "Look what you made me do, you dolts!"

"Geez, we were just trying to help you get into the spirit." Jasper responded before presenting a cookie. "You want some Snowfall Feast cookies? White Topaz made them herself."

"No, thank you, you should know Gems don't need sustenance." Black Rutile replied as she got back to work. "I just don't get this holiday at all! What's the meaning of all this blasted happiness and cheer anyways?!"

"Oh, I know where this is going." White Topaz realized cheerfully. "You're just a total Grinch or a Scrooge who's too moody to understand the true meaning of Snowfall Feast. It's not just about being happy and merry; Snowfall Feast is about the celebration of giving and the bonds that bring us all together. Plus, all the cool gifts in exchange for cool gifts you give to the ones you love too!"

"Like I buy that sappy garbage." Black Rutile grimaced, not taking her eyes off her experiments one bit. "As that old codger from that silly story would say, bah humbug!"

"Well, if you feel like coming out and celebrating, our door is always open." Jasper said as she and her girlfriend began leaving the house. "Happy Snowfall Feast, I guess."

"Get bent!" Black Rutile yelled back before the door closed, just as Holly Blue, Eyeball, and Cat's Eye entered the room.

"How is progress going on the Vortexxer, my Rutile?" Holly asked her rebel leader.

"I was just about to make a breakthrough when Jasper and White Topaz broke in to assimilate me into their holiday cheer." Black Rutile answered. "I don't understand it at all! Why is everyone but me so freaking happy all the time?!"

"Probably because we've encountered nothing but setback after setback in our plans." Cat's Eye said, which gave Black Rutile an idea. "I mean, what point do they have in making us happy when we have no plans to?"

"Wait, I got it!" Black Rutile beamed creepily as she got a positively wonderful, awful idea. "If they want to force us to be all happy and peaceful, then I think we should make them realize how miserable I am here, and maybe they'll be just as miserable too!"

"I like the way you think, my Rutile!" Eyeball exclaimed as she snacked on the cookies left behind by White Topaz. "But what are we going to do?"

"I'm shocked you didn't get the implication." Black Rutile said as she tied a piece of scrap metal to Eyeball's head to act as a reindeer's antler. "Ruby, with your gem so bright, won't you help us steal Snowfall Feast tonight?"

"Wait, really?" Eyeball gasped as her eye lit up in amazement. "But what will the other Rubies think?!"

"Oh, come on, you've already bullied them into becoming your subordinates. What say we put them to good use?" Black Rutile suggested smartly. "Now, let's start plans for tonight; everyone should be asleep by then."

Later that day, more members of Greg's family were invited to Beach City to celebrate Snowfall Feast with the Crystal Gems. Andy showed up first after landing his plane on the snow-covered beach and walking up to the front of the beach house before greeting them as he opened the door. "Hey Greg, happy Snowfall Feast."

"Hi Andy, glad you could make it!" Greg greeted Andy as he let his cousin into the house. "You arrived just in time, because we got some special guests coming!"

"Yeah, Pearl invited Greg's parents for dinner!" Steven added eagerly, though Andy was less than enthused about the news.

"Hey, I'm all for a little family reunion, but how do you suppose they're gonna react to, y'know?" Andy asked while gesturing to each of the Gems. "I mean, it took a while for me to get used to them. I wouldn't be surprised if the same applied to them."

"Ah, don't you worry, Andy-man, we got everything under control!" Greg said proudly with a laugh that quickly turned into anxious stuttering. "Oh geez, this is gonna get so awkward!"

"And who's this supposed to be?" Andy asked as he turned to the shy Rose Quartz, now dressed as Steven's late mother. "Isn't your wife supposed to be dead or something?"

"Hello." The shy Rose politely greeted Andy.

"That's actually a really long and complex story." Steven answered. "I think you're going to need to sit down for this one. You see-"There was a knock at the door. "We can talk later; I think they're here!"

"AGH, THEY'RE HERE!" Greg screamed, his anxiety over seeing his parents again kicking into overdrive. "LET'S HIDE AND BURN THE HOUSE DOWN!"

"Calm down, everyone. We can make it through this. Just don't mention the war." Garnet eased everyone's nerves before she opened the door for Thomas and Gloria DeMayo. "Hello there."

"Excuse me, madam, but is this the right address?" Thomas asked the fusion. "I'm told this is where Gregory lives now."

"Yes, welcome to Greg's house. It's very nice to meet you, Mr. DeMayo." Garnet greeted and shook the DeMayo father's hand. "Would you like to come in?"

"Gladly." Thomas answered as he and his wife entered the house, where he immediately met his son for the first time in decades. "Son."

"Hey, pops, long time no see." Greg awkwardly chuckled and gave his dad an equally awkward hug. "Pat pat."

"Oh Greg, you've gotten so big!" Gloria exclaimed as she got a hug from her son as well. "And I've been told you're a millionaire now? How lucky you must be!"

"Yeah, an old business partner of mine used one of my songs for a burger commercial." Greg responded. "He's dead to me otherwise."

"And I suppose you must be Greg's son." Thomas said while looking down at Steven. "Stephen, I suppose?"

"Steven, actually." Steven corrected his grandfather. "Nice to meet you, Grandpa."

"So, who's the lucky woman you got together with to make such a handsome young man?" Gloria asked with a tousle of Steven's hair before looking around at the Gems in the room with them. "Is it the one with the long nose?"

"What, me?!" Pearl blushed in embarrassment, causing Sheena and Bismuth to laugh. "Oh no, you got it all wrong, Mrs. DeMayo; I'm only Steven's mother in spirit, though I did possess feelings for her once upon a time."

"Hm, is it normal for humans to become this elderly?" Peridot quizzed the DeMayos while examining their aged forms. "I must conduct further research on this."

"Hi." Lapis greeted Greg's parents while sticking a candy cane in her mouth.

"My my, your friends are certainly unique." Thomas remarked dryly. "In fact, I think I remember-"

"Oh, it's nothing much, really!" Greg interrupted his father before introducing him to the rest of the Gems. "I'd like you to meet my wife Rose, her old college roommates Estelle, Amy, and Pearl, her sister Biddie, and Steven's sisters Lana and Dot!"

"Wait, sisters?!" Peridot squawked in offense. "I'll have you know Lapis and I are actually-"

"Quit yacking, you wacko!" Lapis whispered as she slapped Peridot's mouth shut and dragged her away.

"Well, this is certainly a colorful family you have here." Gloria punned softly.

"Good one, Mrs. D!" Sheena exclaimed while standing under the mistletoe with Pearl & Bismuth and getting kisses from them both. "Oh, I guess he forgot, but name's Sheena. I'm Pearl's girlfriend."

"I see; you're one of those queer found families." Thomas stated while adjusting his tie and turning to meet the Rose posing as Greg's wife. "You must be my son's lovely wife, yes?" he asked while kissing the shy Rose on her hand. "Charmed."

"Oh, why thank you." Rose blushed at the older man's politeness. "Though, I've only known him-"

"Since I toured Beach City when I was young!" Greg interrupted his fake wife. "Hey, you two must be tired after the long trip. Why don't we sit down to some hot chocolate and chat for a bit?"

"Oh, we'd be much obliged." Gloria said as she sat down on the couch. However, she didn't know that the sofa was already occupied by Lion, whose mane was decorated with ornaments and Christmas lights. "Oh my! Is that a-"

"Lion!" Steven exclaimed as Lion looked at his young master and pounced on him. "Oh, I missed you too, big guy! How's Connie doing these days?"

"Uh, is that an actual lion?" Gloria whimpered at the sight of a predatorial animal in the house. "How did you manage to get one?"

"Oh, Lion." Garnet replied. "He's just a huge cat we got from the shelter a few years ago. Please don't ask why he's pink. Not even the shelter workers know why."

"Nice kitty." Thomas said nervously as Lion got off Steven and slid towards the DeMayos to inspect them. "Be a good boy, and don't chomp my arm off."

"Hey, who wants cookies?!" Bismuth yelled as she presented some Snowfall Feast cookies on a baking sheet she turned her left hand into. "Oh shoot, my hand!"

"Cut it, cut it!" Greg whispered to Bismuth, who quickly exchanged her hand for a regular baking sheet. "Don't mind Biddie here. Sometimes she's not very good with her hands."

"I see." Thomas said while sipping his hot chocolate and turning to watch Lapis make shapes with her cocoa in the air, to Gloria's delight. "And what's she up to?"

"Psychic powers!" Lapis got in on the fibbing. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"Oh yes, my dear sister Lana is quite the telepath." Peridot declared. "You should've seen what she did to the gardens last week! Positively spellbinding!"

"Fascinating. I want to give that a look later." Thomas replied dryly when he heard a strange humming nearby. Suddenly, two little girls were standing beneath a mistletoe dangling from one of the support beams. "Good lord, what is happening over there?!"

"Look, Ruby, mistletoe." Sapphire chuckled lovingly.

"Oh, come here you!" Ruby exclaimed as the happy couple made out under the mistletoe, much to Thomas's alarm. "Uh, hi there. I'm Ruby. Nice to meet you, sir."

"Wha, how, I-"Thomas stuttered in alarm.

"Now, Thomas, no need to be so close-minded," Gloria said to her husband.

"No, it's not like that; I just want to know where they came from!" Thomas yelled.

"We have made a huge mistake." Sapphire realized. "Look over there, the aurora borealis!"

"Where?!" Thomas yelled as he looked away, giving the two small Gems enough time to fuse back into Garnet, arousing more suspicion from him. "Wait, where did they go?!"

"I don't know who went where." Garnet said cheekily.

"Those girls, they were right there!" Thomas roared in shock, but his expression changed from shock to anger as he turned to Greg. "Gregory, you have some explaining to do!"

"Uh, Grandpa, can I talk with Dad for just a moment?" Steven tried to calm everyone down and took Greg to the bathroom behind their families. "Look, Dad, I know you're uncomfortable about talking to your parents about what you've been up to and especially about Mom, but I think this is all a lost cause. I mean, they probably know who the Gems are because they were already over the news. Why don't we just cut our losses and confess to them already?"

"Aw, come on, Schtu-ball, just give me a chance here." Greg responded softly. "Listen, this plan may not make much sense, but I suggest we just ease them into our situation here, and then we can tell them everything."

"Okay, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but I'm warning you," Steven urged Greg. "This will end badly."

"Sheesh, no need to be such a pessimist." Greg awkwardly answered as the father and son left the bathroom to rejoin the gathering.

As night began to fall on Little Homeworld, Black Rutile began putting her plan into action. All through the town, not a creature was stirring, not even a Flower Buddy, a gourd pup, or a mouse. The stockings were hung all around with care, in the hopes that the big man in red would be there. The Gems were nestled, all snug in their bed, while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads. With Black Rutile in a Santa costume and her cronies in elf caps, they made sure their plan was under wraps.

"Ho ho ho, this is perfect!" Black Rutile laughed as she drove her makeshift sleigh around Little Homeworld, pulled by Aquamarine and the Rubies with Holly Blue and Cat's Eye in the back. "I just can't wait to see the looks on their faces when they realize everything's gone!"

"Yeah, this might be a good reason to kill time before the Vortexxer is finished." Holly Blue agreed. "So, which house are we robbing first?"

"Where else?" Black Rutile answered as the sleigh pulled up to Jasper and White Topaz's house, and she got off the sleigh to sneak in through the door. As she, Holly, and Cat began pilfering every Snowfall Feast decoration and present they could find, Black Rutile was suddenly reminded of a song. "You're a mean one, Black Rutile; you're proud of being vile!" she started singing. "You're as warm as a volcano; you're as sweet as stomach bile, Black Rutile! You're as disgusting as a hideous pile!"

"Oh my, you write that yourself?" Cat asked as the trio went outside with their loot to pack into the sleigh.

"No, ripping off some old Snowfall special." Black Rutile answered before commanding the Rubies to pull the sleigh again, and she continued to sing. "You're an animal, Black Rutile, you literally have no heart! Your gem is covered in cracks; you've got razor blades for a soul, Black Rutile! I'd rather die than touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole!"

Next up on her list of treasonous former minions for Black Rutile to rob were Demantoid & Pyrope, followed by Emerald, and then the Lapis twins. Presents aplenty were snatched from homes all around, clothing and tools and such all ripped from the ground. Anyone else wouldn't dream of causing such despair, but that naughty Black Rutile didn't care.

"You're disgusting, Black Rutile. You'd make the evilest souls retch!" Black Rutile kept singing as she next chopped down the big tree at the center of town with her sword and tied its trunk to the back of the sleigh. "You have the heartlessness of a man with lots of sketch, Black Rutile! If you had to choose between him and me, you'd choose the man with lots of sketch!"

Despite Black Rutile's attempts at catlike stealth in her theft of Snowfall Feast, the tree dragged loudly against the ground, rousing at least one Gem from their slumber. But she was too busy singing to notice as she began reaching the front gates of Little Homeworld. "You're morally bankrupt, Black Rutile. You're a real piece of junk! You've got the mind of a madman and the attitude of a punk, Black Rutile! If I had to pick three words to describe myself, they would be as followed: stink, stank, stunk!"

"The talent agent asked what the name of their act was." Amethyst finished telling a story at the dinner table to the Universe and DeMayo families. "And you know what their answer was? The Aristocrats!" Everyone began laughing uproariously at the punchline, but Pearl was a little turned off by the joke.

"That was quite possibly the most disgusting story you've ever told, Amethyst." Pearl declared as she tried not to barf. "And that's saying something considering the booger story from last month."

"Pardon me, but what is this booger story you speak of?" Thomas asked.

"Oh man, you should've been there!" Amethyst exclaimed, grossing Pearl out even further. "It was the greenest, the biggest, the juiciest-"

"Could someone please pass the potatoes before I lose my appetite?" Gloria nervously asked, and Rose did just that. "Oh, thank you, Rose, you're such a dear! I can see why Greg fell for you."

"Thank you." Rose began blushing.

"Oh dear, none of you have eaten!" Gloria realized as she discovered the Gems hadn't touched your dinner. "You're going to let such wonderful cooking go to waste?"

"We actually don't need to eat." Pearl responded.

"I do!" Amethyst added. "More for me, then!" She quickly scooped up Garnet, Pearl, Peridot, Lapis, and Bismuth's dinners and hoarded them all in her mouth. To Thomas's shock, Amethyst did not gain additional weight from that much food.

"You young people and your alternative lifestyles." Thomas frowned.

"Actually, we're way older than you. Like, thousands even." Lapis accidentally slipped up, and she covered her mouth in horror of what she had just said. "Uh oh."

"Thousands of years older, huh?" Thomas said as he ominously turned to Greg. "Is there something you need to tell us?"

"Aw geez." Andy groaned as he smacked his face in disappointment.

"I knew it." Steven muttered, just as disappointed, while Greg slumped in his seat.

"Okay, you got me." Greg sighed in acceptance. "I'm not part of a normal family. I was actually married to an alien warrior who died in childbirth to give birth to Steven."

"I knew it!" Thomas yelled while smacking the table, briefly spooking Gloria and Pearl. "You were lying to us this whole time! What's next? Are you going to tell us that you replaced your wife with an imposter too?!"

"Actually, that's exactly what we did." Pearl pointed out brightly, quickly realizing she wasn't helping, and kept quiet.

"I'm sorry if I made you mad, Greg's dad." Rose shyly apologized, followed by Gloria putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Now, Gregory, what do you have to say for yourself?" Thomas coldly admonished his ashamed son.

"Look, Dad, I'm sorry for lying about all this." Greg apologized to his father. "It's just; I only wanted to ease you all into what I've been up to since I moved out. But now, I guess I have no choice but to tell. So which story do you want to hear, mine or Rose's?"

"Either one of them will do, dear." Gloria replied calmly. "Go on. We won't judge."

"Okay, it's a long and complicated story." Greg sighed as he started telling everyone about Pink Diamond. "Got any gum?"

"So what do you suppose we'll do with all our loot?" Aquamarine asked as the Rutile Rebels parked their sleigh outside of Little Homeworld. "Maybe burn it all or toss it off a cliff?"

"We can sort things out later; I just feel like gloating right now!" Black Rutile answered. "I can't believe it; this might be my first big triumph in ages! I've not just ruined Snowfall Feast for all the Gems in the present, but I'm sure to ruin all Snowfall Feasts yet to come too!" As Black Rutile let out a wicked cackle, suddenly, another Gem began making crunchy footsteps in the snow, causing the Snowfall thief to turn to discover who it was. "You again? Why do you keep sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, like everywhere?!"

"Santa Claus, why?" Teal Zircon asked innocently as she discovered that Black Rutile was making off with all the presents and decorations in her sleigh. "Why are you taking our Snowfall Feast? Why?"

"You really don't get it, do you? Figures for such a complete idiot." Black Rutile sneered before shedding her disguise. "Nay Teal Zircon, it is I, Black Rutile! Besides, there's no Santa Claus, just like there's no Easter Bunny or queen of England! He was just some fat idiot made up by morally bankrupt toy companies to make more money!"

"Of course, it was you, Black Rutile." Teal responded. "Still, why did you go all this way to steal everything Snowfall Feast-related from Little Homeworld? Is it because you have some kind of bah humbug grudge against the holiday?"

"No, it's because I don't get it at all!" Black Rutile snapped at the childish Zircon. "I'm expected to be all happy and smiley during this time of year, but I have no reason to because I'm constantly miserable here!"

"Well, if you don't want to be happy, I guess I'll have to make you myself, my bromide." Teal said as she took a krav maga stance and fiercely tackled Black Rutile, causing her bag of presents and décor to topple over as the two Gems fought. Among them was a gift box labeled "To Lapis and Peridot, from Jasper" containing a small, orange Pomeranian puppy that peeked out of the box.

"Come on, Black Rutile, can't you let your heart grow three sizes for just one day?!" Teal yelled as she trapped the rebel in a headlock.

"Never!" Black Rutile yelled. "Plus, having your heart grow any size larger would probably be deadly! To me, my Rutile Rebels!"

"Hands off, you annoying advertiser!" Holly Blue yelled, drawing her whip and cracking it at them both, shocking the Gems and freeing Black Rutile from Teal Zircon's grasp.

"You don't understand, I am so close for once!" Black Rutile exclaimed. "Can't I get a little victory as a Snowfall Feast gift?!" Just then, she heard an assortment of indistinct voices echo from Little Homeworld as they slowly approached the front gates. "Oh no!"

"What's going on here?" Volleyball wondered as the Gems discovered the Rutile Rebels with their sleigh full of stolen goods, along with Black Rutile face down in the snow and Teal desperately trying to save Snowfall Feast. "Teal, what's the meaning of this?!"

"It's Black Rutile!" Teal yelled while poking her head out of the sack. "She's trying to make you all as miserable as she is by stealing Snowfall Feast!"

"Somehow, I figured something like this would happen." Jasper rolled her eyes with dismay.

"Yeah, I think this might be the time for a lesson here, Black Rutile." White Topaz added. "Sometimes, Snowfall Feast isn't about what comes from a store. Maybe it means just a little bit more."

"That's it? That's the message you want to give me?!" Black Rutile yelled in disgust. "You know what, forget this dumb plan, and you can have your dumb stuff back! I'm out of here!" With an overdramatic huff, Black Rutile turned on her heel and stormed off, leaving everyone to take back their stolen belongings.

"Once again, Black Rutile refuses to budge. Not surprised." Jasper huffed back before she looked down at the Pomeranian pawing at her ankle. "Hey, little Earth creature." She said while picking up the puppy. "Let's get you to your new owners."

"So, there you have it." Greg proclaimed as he had finished telling his parents the story of his relationship with Rose and everything afterward. "The long and complicated history of me, Rose, and the Crystal Gems. So, what did you think?"

"My, you…. certainly had an eventful time as a father." Thomas said plainly in response to the story. "I was just so blind to how much you've been through. Plus, I did not expect to hear that you technically killed your wife through, y'know."

"Oh, you poor dear." Gloria said as she brought Greg in for a hug. "You've been through so much but never let go of what mattered most. At least you still found happiness after leaving us."

"Thanks, Mom." Greg replied and returned the hug. "You too, pops."

"Okay, you asked for it." Thomas smirked as he stepped up and hugged Greg even tighter than his wife. "Please forgive me for driving you away."

"Eh, maybe that could take a while." Greg said just as the door opened, Jasper and White Topaz walked in. "Oh hey girls, you missed a real crazy night!"

"Hi, Mr. Universe, happy Snowfall Feast, everyone!" White Topaz exclaimed. "Hey, we just wanted to stop by because we got a little gift for a pair of special someones."

"Really, who's getting what?" Peridot asked, causing Jasper to unfurl her hands and reveal the Pomeranian inside them. "Oh my stars, it's so precious!" she exclaimed with stars in her eyes. "What made you want to get it?!"

"Well, we knew how much you missed Pumpkin, so maybe this could be a good replacement." Jasper said sheepishly, not being used to being so giving to her former enemies. To her surprise, the two Gems hugged her in response. "Thanks."

"Merry Snowfall Feast to all!" Steven declared happily.

"And to all, a good night!" Rose added.

Unfortunately, not everyone was so merry on Snowfall Feast. Black Rutile sat down on the whirly-bird tower, gazing up at the night sky all by her lonesome as she began contemplating her actions. "Is it really worth it to keep doing all this when failure is basically the only option?" she pondered to herself. "Why even bother trying to make everyone miserable when I'm the only one who's left miserable myself?"

"Something the matter, kiddo?" a jolly voice said, making Black Rutile turn around to see a large man with a white beard, a red suit, and a warm smile sitting next to her. There was no mistaking it; Black Rutile had come face to face with Santa Claus himself. "What's gotten you so sad on Snowfall Feast?"

"What's gotten me so sad?! Oh, you have no idea what I've suffered, old man!" Black Rutile exclaimed. "I am only doing what's best for everyone and trying to be a good leader, but the universe seems to be doing everything in its power to ruin everything for me! I've lost all my power, I barely have any allies, I'm treated as a joke by my former superior, and now my plan to steal Snowfall Feast and make everyone just as sad as I am has been ruined!"

"Well, you're certainly not the first person to try stealing this time of year." Santa commented cheekily. "But I don't think you get it. Snowfall Feast isn't completely about getting things from other people, though that is a very good reason to celebrate it. No, Snowfall Feast is about spending time with the ones you love the most, giving to your fellow man, and just celebrating what it means to have peace on Earth. You get that, right?"

"Why yes, I do." Black Rutile answered. "That was basically the exact same answer White Topaz gave me! I don't know why you bothered visiting me!"

"Okay, geez, I was just trying to be nice, you naughty little Gem!" Santa yelled as Black Rutile stormed off once again. "Uh, merry Snowfall Feast, Black Rutile!"

"Get bent!" Black Rutile responded to Old Saint Nick.

"And so ends this heartwarming Snowfall fable." Dr. James Brenner proclaimed while sitting by a fireplace and closing a book. "Please come again, if you are able. We'll take a break for some holiday fun, but when we meet next time, this shall be a good one!"

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 14: It's Tough to be A Star

"Welcome back, everyone!" Sardonyx yelled delightedly on a talk show set with Turquoise as her guest of honor while a canned audience cheered excitedly. "Hoo boy, that was quite a commercial break we had there, huh? Well, at least our sponsors won't be breathing down our necks now! On that note, please welcome our next guest, Turquoise!"

"Hey everyone, nice to see you." Turquoise awkwardly greeted her screaming fans. "Thanks for having me on here, Sardonyx, love your show." She said to the host of the show. "So, remind me, this is about fusions?"

"Why yes, my dear!" Sardonyx laughed. "We stage this program to interview the various fusions around Little Homeworld, get a taste of their bond, and maybe show off their abilities too! Which reminds me, kiddo, how does it feel being the embodiment of a rather rocky relationship?"

"Surprisingly stable, actually." Turquoise responded. "Lapis and Peridot have definitely had their issues, sure, but they managed to grow past all that. Through all the struggles and suffering like any other duo had, they've had each other, and that's all that-"

"OMG, is that Lapis Lazuli?!" a voice yelled as a tourist got up on stage to strike a pose with Turquoise. "Quick, Blaine, get a picture!"

"Hey, I was in the middle of a poignant speech here!" Turquoise complained as Blaine took a picture of her with the tourist. "Where did you come from?!"

"Yeah, that's what I want to know." Sardonyx added crossly. "Security!" As Topaz unfused to drag the excited tourist away, more of them began to show up and crowd around Sardonyx. "Where are you all coming from?!"

"Oh, we're just on a tour of Beach City, home to some of Earth's mightiest heroes!" another tourist replied eagerly.

"WHOO, AMETHYST FOR LIFE!" a particularly eager tourist yelled as he took off his shirt and began swinging it around, revealing that he had a tattoo resembling an amethyst gem on his chest. "Hey, you wanna know who Amethyst reminds me of? My mom!"

"Well, unfortunately, it looks like we'll have to cut this short so we can get to the bottom of this." Sardonyx said while preparing to unfuse. "Until next time everyone, remember to- "

"KNOW! YOUR! FUSION!" the audience yelled in unison as Sardonyx unfused into Garnet and Pearl.

"So let me get this straight: you consider us Earth's mightiest heroes?" Pearl asked the growing horde of tourists. "I mean, sure, we had saved the Earth multiple times in the past, like last month when we fought those evil versions of ourselves, but I wouldn't consider us heroes."

"We need to get to the bottom of this." Garnet declared while Turquoise unfused into Lapis and Peridot. "Lapis, Peridot, get the others. We need to call someone about this."

Once Garnet, Pearl, Lapis, and Peridot contacted Bismuth, Amethyst, Jasper, and White Topaz about the current situation. There was only one person who could give them some answers on what was happening, and he was only a video chat away.

"Uh, for the last time, Sorayama, I'm unsure if I can trust you with our nuclear weapons array." US President Eduardo Suarez groaned as he turned around in his chair, only to realize that he was actually speaking to the Crystal Gems. "Oh, dios mio, the Crystal Gems! Feels like we haven't talked in a while! How are things holding up in Beach City?"

"We're doing muy bien, Eddy!" Amethyst replied. "Hey buddy, could you be a pal and answer us just one question?"

"We've discovered some tourists visiting Little Homeworld and treating us like celebrities." Garnet said. "Please tell us why this is happening."

"Oh yeah, forgot to tell you about that." Eduardo sheepishly proclaimed. "Ever since your recent victories against Black Rutile, The Sickle, and now that Crystal Regime or whatever it was called, your approval ratings have skyrocketed! People from all over the world are cheering your names! Words cannot describe how pleased I am to hear all this praise pouring out from all over, especially after how Black Rutile nearly turned the world against you!"

"Wait, we're famous?!" Amethyst cried eagerly. "YAHOO!"

"About time we got some credit for our deeds." Garnet smirked pridefully. "But let's not let this get to our heads, everyone. We're still citizens of Earth at the end of the day."

"Are you kidding me?!" Peridot exclaimed. "We're now on par with the likes of Christopher Cage, Jacob Steele, Edward Christian, and Bella Anastasia! Just imagine it, our names in shining lights, our footprints on the Los Diego Crosswalk of Legends!"

"Yeah, I'm pretty excited too, but why me?" Lapis asked. "Didn't I drown hundreds of people across three third-world countries, nearly cause tons of economic crises, and put tons of ocean life at risk of extinction?"

"Frankly, I'm not too sure how to feel about this." Bismuth stated. "I mean, what's it like as a celebrity?"

"Yeah, that's what I want to know too." Jasper added. "Like, is it anything like Peridot said?"

"Yeah, kind of," Eduardo answered. "As a celebrity, you are expected to preserve your image by treating your fans and the general public with respect, committing to endorsement and major motion picture deals, and try not to succumb to any human vices that'll cause you to get canceled on the spot. In fact, I already contacted a freelance talent manager to come give you the lowdown on what you'll be doing from here on out!"

"Talent manager?" Pearl asked just as the Gems heard the door open, and discovered a short, dark-skinned man in a suit and trilby hat standing before them with a briefcase in hand. "Is that you?"

"Why yes, that's me. Sam Galley, freelance talent manager at your service." The man introduced himself like a gentleman. "I've worked with some of the finest actors in the business for as long as I could remember. John Chaney, Velvett Johannason, Jack L. Samuels, all of them some of the highest grossing in the business, thanks to me. But never have I thought my latest clients would be so out of this world. I truly think this partnership could benefit me, I mean us, in the long run."

"Oh, why thank you, Mr. Galley." Pearl said while shaking Sam's hand. "Now then, is there anything you'd like for us to do?"

"Oh no, no need to ask him, girls." Eduardo stated. "Just listen to what he says, and you'll do the rest! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go have lunch with the familia. Bye!" As soon as Eduardo ended the chat, Sam shut the computer and pushed it away so he could sit on the coffee table.

"Okay, girls, work with me here!" Sam exclaimed. "There's a whole world of possibilities for you to explore! I'm talking film deals, television, goodwill tours, music labels, and all the merchandise you could imagine!" To prove his point, Mr. Galley presented the Gems with some ideas for the merch. "Clothing lines are huge, for one. Just imagine your attire being the next big fashion trend! Ooh, or maybe an autobiography or two! And let's not forget, the Lapis Lazuli brand flamethrower!" He presented some concept art of a blue flamethrower, which made Lapis raise her eyebrows at the irony of the idea. "The test audiences love this one!"

"I still have no strong feelings about this, one way or the other." Bismuth proclaimed.

"Ooh, I'll take twenty!" White Topaz eagerly said.

"Guys, you have no idea what this could do for us." Amethyst declared. "Soon, we might not need this old beach house anymore; we could just give it to Greg while we, I don't know, build ourselves a mansion or something!"

"Now, let's not get too ahead of ourselves, Amethyst." Pearl cautioned the Quartz. "I swear, this is exactly what I just warned you about, and you're so quick to forget it."

"Now, Pearl, no need to get so worried." Peridot smugly responded as drum music began playing, and she began to sing. "I hardly think I'm qualified to come across all sanctified; I just don't cut it with all my followers."

"Yo Peri, what are you talking about?" Amethyst asked the green Gem while gesturing to legions of fans bowing before them. "There again, they're on their knees! Being celebrities is a breeze! Which I think suits the two of us no lower."

"Us no lower, us no lower! Just me and her!" Peridot began to realize. "Oh, my stars!"

"IT'S TOUGH TO BE A STAR!" the duo sang together while Sam served as a backup dancer, and the other Crystal Gems looked around at the sudden musical number taking place.

"Movies, TV shows, and a fancy car! Being worshipped, not like it's a high bar!" Peridot declared as she perched atop a giant statue of herself. "Be the object of devotion, the subject of shrines!"

"It's quite a heartfelt notion; all the autographs and camera shines." Amethyst remarked as photographers and autograph hounds surrounded the duo.

"And who am I to bridle when people consider me an idol?" Peridot asked in exchange. "If they say that I'm an icon, that's what I am!" She then took Amethyst aside to tell her the drawbacks of celebrity godhood. "What's more, if we don't comply with the fanbase's wishes, I see ourselves being canceled online."

"Oh yeah, that's definitely possible." Amethyst concurred. "So let's be stars; the perks are great!"

"Yeah, all of entertainment on a plate!" Peridot exclaimed with big cigars for her, Amethyst, and Sam to stick in their mouths.

"Now we're talking!" Amethyst cried in delight. "Everyone's feelings should not be rebuffed!"

"Never rebuff, a-never rebuff our public's feelings!" Peridot scatted. "No, my friend!"

"It's tough to be a star, but if our fans raise the bar!" the two proclaimed. "Count your blessings, keep 'em happy; that's our advice!"

"Really great advice!" Peridot stated.

"Be seen as pure perfection; they worship us like a cult." The pair parroted. "Showered with praise, no time for reflection, when the multitudes exalt!"

"This could become a habit!" Amethyst cued for the song to end while the Gems and Sam hopped in a limo.

"Call us insane not to grab it!" Peridot agreed.

"You got it!" Amethyst yelled.

"So sign these shining stars up for paradise!" the star duo exclaimed. "PARADISE!"

"Uh, what just happened?" Lapis asked worriedly once the song finally ended.

"I don't know, and I'm not sure if I'm going to like what this will lead up to." Jasper agreed. Unbeknownst to the Gems, however, Black Rutile was watching the entire thing, and the big musical number had given her some ideas.

"So let me get this straight," Cat's Eye said as Black Rutile sat down on her computer. "the Crystal Gems are apparently celebrities now? Frankly, I'm not surprised it's come to this point, but I find this a little ridiculous."

"Well, that is why I need your help." Black Rutile said while browsing the popular social media site Yatter. "How do I gain as much attention and supporters as theirs to get somewhere with my newest plan?"

"Oh, funny you should mention that." Cat replied before turning her phone over to Black Rutile. "You're pretty famous as well." To Black Rutile's delight, dozens of users were pouring out their support for her under the hashtag #BlackRutileWasRight, with messages varying from how they're fascist sympathizers or poor excuses for role models. "Yeah, you're pretty popular among incels, conservatives, homophobes, skinheads, conspiracy theorists, users utilizing the tag to fantasize about their favorite Korean boy bands, and just people abusing the Internet's power of anonymity to get away with whatever they want."

"This can't be real, can it?" Black Rutile muttered in amazement before she suddenly had an idea. "Remind me, Cat, what do all these have in common?"

"They're complete idiots who shape their identity around believing everything they read?" Cat replied while filing her nails.

"Exactly!" Cat proclaimed while looking at one of the most liked posts on the tag that read "The Crystal Gems basically thrive on white savior complex, discuss." Her mouth curled into a cat-like smile before tapping on the user who posted it, who went by Sally Grove. "Ooh, she's probably your biggest fan! You should talk to her!"

"I'm sorry; what is this white savior complex?" Black Rutile squinted in disbelief over the sheer audacity of such an opinion. "Besides, Steven has a slightly pinkish skin tone, and everyone else has varying inhuman skin colors."

"You'll find out soon enough." Cat said. "Want me to reply for you? Maybe I can arrange for you two to meet up!"

"Fine, I'll dictate for you what the post must say." Black Rutile said before Cat began typing precisely what she said. "Greetings, Sally Grove. I am Black Rutile of the Rutile Rebels, an organization dedicated to combatting the oppressive regime of the Crystal Gems and their little champion, Steven Universe. I recently came across this post and insist we meet up somehow because I feel you might relate so much to me. Please respond ASAP."

"And send!" Cat's Eye proclaimed as she finished the post and submitted it, when she suddenly got a response. "Wow, that was quick!"

"Dear Black Rutile, I am amazed to be in your presence, considering that you're a wanted criminal under house arrest." Sally's response read. "I never trusted the Crystal Gems to begin with. Their message of kindness and love makes me feel so uncomfortable since I am a total cynic who sees the worst in everyone and vehemently despises any act of goodwill."

"Wow, she wears her hatred of good people on her sleeve, just like me!" Black Rutile exclaimed. "What else does it say?"

"If you wish to talk with me, I shall DM you my contact info so we can video chat. Hope to see you soon." Cat's Eye finished reading before putting down her phone. "Can you believe this?! We've struck paydirt!"

"One question though, what does DM stand for?" Black Rutile asked.

"It means direct message." Cat's Eye answered. "The humans who use the Internet have a very strange vernacular they use. Like for example, OMG means oh my gosh." Just then, a DM popped up from Sally Grove asking to video chat with Black Rutile. "Well, here goes nothing."

The two Gems sent the link to Black Rutile's computer and opened the invite. On the screen, a blonde woman with aqua-green eyes behind a thick pair of glasses sat down staring at Black Rutile. "Hello there. I suppose you may be Black Rutile, correct?"

"Yes, I am she." Black Rutile stated. "I have only just discovered you, yet I feel like the two of us could become like sisters to each other. United by our shared hatred of the Crystal Gems!"

"Yeah, but I prefer to discuss my dislike of them through my controversial opinions." Sally stated. "You prefer plots to try and take over the world or something corny like that."

"My schemes are not that corny!" a very offended Black Rutile exclaimed before composing herself. "Anyways, I discovered your posts through a little hashtag proclaiming #BlackRutileWasRight, used primarily by people who share my viewpoints."

"Oh yeah, that." Sally casually said. "I was the one who started that hashtag because I find it so hard to believe that a rampaging monster is actually a hero of the universe!"

"Exactly!" Black Rutile cheered. For what felt like hours on end, the two continued talking with each other, sharing stories and decrying the Crystal Gems over the Internet. For the first time in forever, Black Rutile felt like she had found someone who could finally understand her. And now, she has the perfect tool to use to further her vengeance.

In the meantime, the Crystal Gems were now living the life of celebrities and all it entailed. For Pearl in particular, she was sent off to the set of a big-budget movie under Sam's orders. Things seemed innocent enough, but something about the sets, the props, and the giant dinosaur-like creature seemed familiar to her.

"Uh, hello, everyone." Pearl shyly greeted. "I'm Pearl, and I've been sent here by Sam Galley to star in whatever movie you're making here."

"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in." the familiar voice of Neil Michaels, Pearl's one-time rival from Los Diego, purred as he strolled in. "Hello there Pearl, long time no see."

"Neil Michaels?!" Pearl gasped in alarm. "What are you doing here?!"

"What am I doing here?!" Neil exclaimed. "This is the set of my newest movie you've come upon! It shall be my latest box office masterpiece in the making, and I call it-"

"Michaels, what are you doing?" another voice asked as he strolled towards Pearl. He was visibly far older than Neil and had a bit of a shark motif to his clothing. "Oh, are you one of those Crystal Gems everyone talks about?"

"I'm sorry, I'm kind of drawing a blank on you, and we know pretty much everyone in Beach City." Pearl said. "Who are you again? I feel like I've heard of you somewhere before."

"Don't you remember? It's me, Marty!" Marty exclaimed. "I was Greg's manager; I was the guy who made him rich with that burger jingle! Come on, not ringing any bells?"

"Oh yes, Morty!" Pearl realized despite getting Marty's name horribly wrong. "I think I remember you. What brings you here?"

"I'm here working with Neil Michaels after I got sued for my Guacola causing food poisoning." Marty stated. "I got into the film business to recoup my losses, and business is booming."

"That reminds me, what film are we making here?" Pearl asked. "I feel like I'm getting a sense of déjà vu here."

"I am so glad you asked!" Neil proclaimed as he pulled out his phone and presented a trailer for his new movie. The mood was set quite well, Pearl admitted to herself, but then came the film's title.

"Oh my lord, it's coming!" the motion picture's leading man, played by Christopher Cage, screamed in horror before it cut to the words "THE PINK BEAST OF THE BAY" in big pink letters. "Based on a true story." An announcer declared. "This film is not yet rated."

"Wait, is this based on Steven's meltdown?!" Pearl screeched angrily at Neil and Marty's toothy grins. "How could you?!"

"Yes, and we thought you'd make a perfect leading lady!" Neil replied happily. "Given that you were there that day, your point of view could really make our-"

"Don't tumble my rocks here, Michaels!" Pearl roared as she grabbed the arrogant director by his collar and dragged him so close, her nose could almost poke his eye out. "You knew exactly what you were doing when you conceived such an idea!"

"Cut me some slack; I didn't realize that was your little friend when I saw him on TV that time!" Neil tried desperately to save face while struggling to free himself from the angry Gem's grasp. "Listen, I'll allow you full creative control over the writing, I'll let you do whatever you want if you don't kill me here! Seriously, I have not been this disrespected since that party at Jeffrey's island!"

"Oy, Gems." Marty rolled his eyes in disgust. "Okay, Pearlie, put the nice man down and hear him out."

"And what will I get if I comply?" Pearl coldly asked as she dropped Neil to the ground when Marty suddenly presented her with a big sack of cash. "What is that?"

"Approximately 4.3 billion dollars, give or take." Marty said. "If you want this much cash, you gotta accept our offer. Capische?" he suggested with a sharklike smile. "Come on. You wouldn't want to disappoint Sammy, right?"

Though she had a bad history with Neil Michaels and absolutely refused to partake in this mockery of Steven's mental health, Pearl couldn't bear to disappoint anyone, least of all an important figure in the entertainment industry. "Okay, fine, I'll do what you want, you mongrels."

"Happy to be working with you, Pearl." Marty stated as Pearl replaced the sack of cash with her hand, and the two shook. "You're going to love what we have planned."

"IT'S THE AFTER DARK SHOW, WITH YOUR FABULOUS HOST!" the announcer of a talk show excitedly cried as its aging host jogged on stage, high-fiving some of his fans in the front row of the studio audience along the way. "LEONAAAAARD JASON!"

"Thank you, thank you! You're all too kind!" Leonard Jason chuckled as he sat down at his desk. "We got an interesting show tonight, folks. I've had some unique guests before, but none are quite this out of this world. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you Amethyst and Peridot!"

The audience cheered wildly as the camera panned to show the two Gems sitting on a couch across from Leonard. "Thanks for having us, Leonard; being on here is like a badge of honor." Amethyst said.

"Please, you're too kind." Leonardo smiled in reply. "Now tell us, your friends tell me that they found you years after the war ended in a Kindergarten. Tell me what that's like."

"Well, being the runt of the litter who emerged for a war that already ended certainly took a lot out of me." Amethyst responded. "Feeling like I'm useless, like I never asked to be made, a sorrowful story. Which you can read all about in my latest book!" She then presented her book with a portrait of Amethyst on its purple cover. "The Kindergarten Kid On the Run, coming soon everywhere where books are sold!"

"And on the topic of writing, I'd like to announce that I've begun pitching my ideal reboot of Camp Pining Hearts to its original network, The DW." Peridot declared proudly, to the excitement of thousands. "In addition to being a far superior reboot than the atrocity we already got that'll appease both original fans and new generations, I also made sure it appealed to my personal tastes. Which means yes, Percy and Pierre will be an official couple from the start."

"Wow, an author and a TV writer right off the bat, what more could you want?" Leonard asked his audience. "But I think we've all seen enough TV shows where the character becomes famous for an episode to know what could come next. Eventually, the fame will get to your heads, and you'll start ignoring your friends in favor of your fellow celebrities before realizing that friendship matters more than fame, hm?"

"Geez, you're starting to sound like Pearl." Amethyst snarked, causing the viewers to laugh. "But no, Peri and I are ensuring that doesn't happen. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?"

Faraway from Beach City, meanwhile, Lapis was now on a private jet with Sam flying through the skies towards Africa. "So, where did you say we were going again?"

"We'll be heading off to a little village in Tanzania, which I hear was one of the many third-world countries you attacked." Sam stated while reading a newspaper. "You remember that, right?"

"Yes, very well." Lapis groaned in embarrassment as she buried her face in her hands.

"Aw, don't be too guilty," Sam assured Lapis. "this is all for a goodwill tour I've arranged to improve your reputation. According to your approval ratings, you're not very popular among these countries you've nearly drowned."

"Great." Lapis replied dryly before the plane touched down in Tanzania, and the two disembarked to be greeted by a group of suspicious civilians. "Uh, hello, everyone."

"It's here, the water witch!" one of the citizens screamed, causing a riot where everyone started throwing trash, rocks, and produce at Lapis, making her look very worried as she tried to shield herself with her wings.

"Now, friends, we don't have to fight!" Sam tried to placate the furious masses while quietly passing out pamphlets. "My companion here is simply here to talk with you about how much she has changed since that day she nearly killed you all. I can assure you, she has had time to think about the consequences of her actions and went to many lengths to atone for them."

"Yeah, I've changed so much since then." Lapis agreed with Sam. "Please, just give me the benefit of the doubt, and maybe we can get along then."

"Oh, so does that mean we can take down this statue of you we deface every day in honor of everyone you drowned?" another civilian said while pointing at that very Lapis statue, which was covered in toilet paper, graffiti saying things like "BURN THE WITCH!", "WANTS TO GO HOME MY ASS!" and various obscenities, and some stains that Lapis doesn't even want to know where they came from. And this all just made her feel even worse.

"Hello, everyone, and welcome back to 90 Minutes." Andrew Cooper, the host of the news program 90 Minutes, announced as the show returned from a commercial break. "With me right now are four members of the esteemed Crystal Gems, Garnet, Bismuth, Jasper, and White Topaz. Welcome, ladies. So glad you could accept this offer."

"Well, technically, we didn't accept it. It was just arranged for us." Bismuth answered. "But regardless, it's nice to be here, Mr. Cooper."

"Now, onto today's topic." Cooper said while shuffling some papers in his hands. "You may consider yourselves alien lifeforms, but I have seen people online say that you are an inspiration to people of color and abuse survivors. Would you care to share your opinions?"

"As delighted as I am to see people consider us role models, I'm not sure I'm following this." Garnet said. "You're allowed to believe what you want, but I'm not sure I'd consider us people of color because we are from another planet. Therefore, we don't fit your definition of race."

"I think they mean color in a literal sense, like how Bismuth is purple, Jasper is orange, etc." White Topaz replied to Garnet. "No, wait, I think I'm getting this wrong.

"Let's remain on subject, girls." Andrew interrupted the banter. "As I stated, Garnet, you may not actually be human, but your struggles are very human, which is what makes you relatable."

"Okay, that; I can definitely see your point!" Jasper exclaimed. "For example, I was the victim of a mutually abusive relationship that lasted for months while my partner and I were trapped under the sea!"

"That is a sentence I never thought I'd hear on my show." Andrew deadpanned. "That reminds me, would you care to discuss your version of human relationships?"

"Boring!" Cat's Eye grumbled as she switched the channel from 90 Minutes to some kind of sports game. "Ugh, I can't stand this! I've already had enough of everyone here singing the praises of those Gems in Little Homeworld, but the entire world is doing it now? Someone get me an aspirin; I have a headache!"

Black Rutile ignored Cat's complaining as she continued chatting with Sally over the Internet and was utterly enamored with what she was hearing. "You know, you have taught me so much in our time together. For example, what is this 420 I hear people laughing about?"

"Oh, that's just a random number that's code for "ha ha ha, drugs are funny" or "adults who still watch cartoons." Sally answered bluntly. "So tell me again, what are you planning?"

"I've concocted many revenge plots over my imprisonment here in Little Homeworld, but I think this one might be my deadliest yet." Black Rutile proclaimed as she presented the torn page of Rasputina's grimoire. "This is a page of a magic book I stole that tells of an ancient being of chaos known as Flipso. Once I unleash him onto the world, I'll be utterly unstoppable!"

"Interesting." Sally smiled evilly. "How can I possibly help?"

"I'm not sure if you can fit into my plot at the moment, but I do have one mission for you." Black Rutile answered. "If you have the time, use that hashtag to gather me more followers, and together, the two of us will restore the Rutile Rebels into an unstoppable army!"

"I'll see what I can do." Sally stated. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to start recording my newest video. It's about why KA Howling isn't actually a bigot; people are just jealous of a woman being superior to them in every way imaginable."

"Isn't that the lady who wrote all those wizard books?" Black Rutile asked. "Ooh, you truly are evil! You're wasting your time as an Internet personality when your personality is more befitting that of a supervillain!"

"Oh, you're too kind." Sally blushed. "Bye-bye now!" The chat then finally ended, causing Black Rutile to get up from her chair and walk over to Cat's Eye with an excited grin on her face.

"Sounds like you two had a good time." Cat's Eye said while taking a long drag of her cigarette. "What did you two talk about?"

"Oh, we went on and on about how repulsive and hypocritical the Crystal Gems are; it's like meeting a human version of me!" Black Rutile sighed dreamily. "She completes me."

"Oy, get a room, you two." Cat rolled her eyes. "That reminds me, are you sure she genuinely hates the Crystal Gems, or is it born out of jealousy that they're superior to her in every way and will be remembered for centuries while she'll be even less than a mere footnote in history?"

"Don't say that!" Black Rutile exclaimed. "I just have living proof that there are people who despise the same individuals I do, and therefore they will believe everything I say! Which reminds me, give me your phone." Cat's eye complied, and Black Rutile immediately took to Yatter. Almost instantly, she found numerous new posts on the #BlackRutileWasRight tag talking about her chat with Sally, and how Sally was using the tag to gather many new followers for the Rutile Rebels. "You know, we should make a dedicated page to the Rutile Rebels soon. Would you like that?"

"Oh yes, very much." Cat nodded eagerly.

"Now, onto our next subject for tonight." Cooper continued. "Recent social media posts claim that you are, quote, "fascist sympathizers" simply because you dared to show a hand of kindness to the oppressive rulers of your race. Is that true?"

"Wait, what?!" Bismuth yelled. "Who's saying such things?"

"Just an online influencer calling herself Sally Grove who is using the tag #BlackRutileWasRight." Andrew proclaimed as he brought the tweet up on the screen. "And if my admittedly barebones knowledge of your social media rings true, cancel culture might be working its magic soon enough."

"It was either reach out to the very people we've sworn to fight or let those corrupted Gems languish in agony!" Bismuth yelled abruptly, giving Cooper a spook. "We never forgave the Diamonds; we're simply giving them a chance to atone for what they've done!"

"And I think we're done for tonight!" Cooper nervously declared as Garnet dragged Bismuth away. "Join us next week for another episode of 90 Minutes where we ask ourselves if artificial intelligence can revolutionize the paperclip industry!"

As soon as word got out about the tag, the Crystal Gems reassembled at the Crystal Temple to discuss this recent development. Pearl had just finished shooting for The Pink Beast of the Bay and had to avoid Marty following her home; Garnet, Jasper, and White Topaz pacified Bismuth enough for her to return home, Peridot and Amethyst were on the run from an inexplicable mob, and Lapis decided to fly home after her goodwill tour.

"So tell me, what happened again?" Amethyst asked as she immediately dug up something to eat from the fridge.

"Someone really has it out for us, aside from Black Rutile, of course." Pearl explained while examining the posts on her phone. "She's saying all these hurtful things about us and our way of life, and for what reason? Is she just jealous, or does she get a kick out of making people's lives miserable?"

"I think I've heard of this girl before." Peridot stated. "She has some pretty toxic opinions, yet so many people follow her despite how blatantly abusive she is!"

"People will always follow whoever has the biggest voice, no matter how terrible they are." Lapis remarked. "They're basically everywhere. TV, movies, online, politicians, the news, the works."

"Who would've guessed celebrity life would be this tiring?" Jasper asked. "I mean, I didn't ask for this, but here we are!"

"That reminds me, I have something to say as well." Sam said as he stepped forth. "You may think I'm saying this completely out of nowhere, but I admit that I've been kind of taking advantage of Crystalmania because going freelance isn't very kind to me. The moment I first heard of you guys, opportunity started knocking, and I just had to open that door to strike it rich. Surely you must feel mad at me for using you, right?"

"I never even realized it, probably because this came straight out of nowhere." White Topaz said. "But hey, if you legitimately feel sorry, then I guess we can let this slide."

"On the grounds that we take a bit of a break from celebrity life." Garnet added. "However, if we feel like it, we'll definitely call you."

"Wow, you're way cooler about this than I thought." Sam said before the door opened to reveal Marty, out of breath and desperate to get Pearl's attention. "Martin, what brings you here?"

"I just need to give the Crystal Gems another offer!" Marty panted as he presented a certain dessert treat that Steven loved so much. "I pulled some strings to get Cookie Cats back in production, and I need you guys to be the mascot!"

"Yeah, I don't think we're interested." Pearl declared before shoving Marty out the front door.

"Freaking immortal broads." Marty grumbled to himself as he walked away. "Black Rutile had the right idea about them."

"Well, that certainly got tied up pretty quick." Sam said as he put on his trilby and began to leave the beach house. "So long, everybody. I'm off to find my next muse!"

"Have a safe trip!" Peridot and the other Gems bid farewell to Sam Galley as he left the beach house for greener pastures. "So glad we got the call before Amethyst and I let the fame go to our heads like on those TV shows."

"But that begs the question," Amethyst added. "Who in their right mind would believe Black Rutile?"

"And that is why Pearl is a bad example of a strong independent woman and is no better than the narcissistic sociopaths plaguing our superhero movies." Sally ended another hot take on Yatter and pressed send as she sat back to let the replies and likes fly in. "Those Crystal Gems have no idea what they'll be in for."

Meanwhile, Black Rutile was browsing her computer as she and Cat's Eye continued setting up a social media account for the Rutile Rebels when Cat's Eye suddenly got another message for Black Rutile. It was signed, "Dear Black Rutile, we need to talk. Signed, Marty."

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 15: A Quick One While I'm Away

For the past month since his failed attempt at reaching out to his evil counterpart, the leader of the Crystal Regime, a lot has been on Steven's mind lately. Who would've guessed there was another universe in the infinite horizon of the deep cosmic sea where not only Steven was evil, but he and the Crystal Gems ruled the universe with an iron fist? It worried Steven about what if he gave into Black Rutile's manipulations and turned out just like that alternate Steven. But on the other hand, Lord Steven suffered from the same problem of living up to his mother's legacy as he did, and it seemed like maybe the two could've come to an understanding had Black Rutile not gotten in the way and had Lord Steven presumably killed for even daring to have a change of heart. No matter how traumatizing the sight of seeing himself die yet again may be, Steven chose not to dwell on that for now and continued his drive.

"Penny for your thoughts, my boy?" the familiar voice of Negative Steven gave the regular Steven a scare and almost made him lose control of the Dondai Supremo.

"You!" Steven yelled at Negative Steven. "I thought I made peace with you! What do you want now?!"

"Relax, Steven; I don't want to fight." Negative Steven proclaimed." I only want to talk. So, an evil version of you, huh? Sound familiar?"

"Yeah, I made the connection." Steven said, eyes laser-focused on the road. "But still, can you imagine it? There's an evil version of me out there, and probably in many other universes. What do you think that says about me? Was I really that close to turning out just like them?"

"Possibly." Negative Steven contemplated. "Worst case scenario, you'd turn out even worse. That's why I'm here now, to keep you from going too far off the deep end should something like our first encounter happen again."

"So you're like my conscience now?" Steven asked his inner self. "Wow, it's amusing how our relationship turned out. So what can I call you other than Negative Steven? Maybe Inner Steven? Or how about Thorn, since you were a thorn in my side?"

"Thorn, Inner Steven, I can go either way." Steven's new conscience replied with a shrug. "Hey, we're coming up on our next stop. Snakewater, Montana, I think."

"Thanks for reminding me; I hear there's a lot of dinosaur digs here." Steven said as he began pulling into Snakewater.

"Get a move on, Dr. Scott, I want this Oryctodromeus clean by sundown!" Jeffrey Lazuli ordered the leader of a group of paleontologists as they worked on cleaning up a dinosaur skeleton they had just excavated. "The museum wants this donated by noon tomorrow."

"Hello there, sir." Steven greeted the bowling ball magnate. "I was just stopping by when I saw you here. Need help with anything?"

"Well, drop me in a cave and call me Batman; it's Steven Universe!" Jeffrey cried out in delight before turning to the paleontologists. "Hey buddies, Steven Universe is in town today!" The paleontologists stopped what they were doing and rushed over to greet the boy, although he'd prefer to say hi and go on his way. "Never would I see the day I'd get to meet you in person, Mr. Universe."

"Nice to meet you too, sir." Steven laughed awkwardly while shaking all the paleontologists' hands and signing autographs for them. "I suppose you may recognize me from the times I saved the world, huh?"

"Oh, not entirely." Jeffrey said. "I once met some of your Gem friends, one of whom happened to share my name. Lapis, I think her name was? Yeah, she came to me because she was mistaken for my daughter by some thugs."

"Yeah, funny how that works out." Steven continued laughing sheepishly while looking for an opportunity to get away. "Listen, I need to go now; I got a ton of other places to see."

"I hear Los Diego is gorgeous this time of year." Inner Steven replied, even though Steven was the only one who could hear him.

"No, no, stay. Everyone in town would love to see you!" Jeffrey urged Steven, who couldn't say no and disappoint everyone. "So what do you say?"

"Of course, I'll stick around!" Steven declared. "I'd love to see more of your town."

While Steven was eager to meet the people of whatever town he came across, he wasn't prepared to be mobbed by fans wherever he went. Indeed, his adoring fans caused him to be chased out of Snakewater and find somewhere new to visit where he hopefully won't be mobbed by screaming fans or paparazzi, somewhere like Los Diego, the place where he sent the Crystal Gems off to for a night of fun so they can be distracted from his struggles for just a little bit.

Not at all. What started as a sightseeing trip soon turned to chaos as Steven found himself running through the streets of Los Diego, away from his fans, with Inner Steven by his side. "How would the Gems cope in a situation like this?!"

"Beats me; look at what they're doing." Thorn answered with a shrug before pointing at a billboard advertising a Lapis Lazuli-brand flamethrower. "Talk about irony."

"Yeah, the irony is real!" Steven replied. "Don't you think they should've talked to me first before this happened?!"

"You tell me." Inner Steven answered. "Didn't you want some time away from them to find yourself?"

After a moment of contemplation, once Steven found a way to hide from his fans, he could only come up with one answer. "Well played."

A few days afterward, Steven and Thorn drove all the way up to Keystone to have a meal at the Best Diner in the World, where Steven had breakfast with Greg and a feuding Ruby & Sapphire so many years ago, back when he was so young and carefree, and the only thing he had to worry about at the time was how Pearl's betrayal affected Garnet and her components.

"I wish I had a corporeal body of my own to inhabit instead of being a part of your mind," Inner Steven muttered as he was enamored by Steven's breakfast. "because this food indeed looks worthy of being served by the Best Diner in the World."

"Glad you're enjoying the place, Thorn." Steven laughed while cutting up his chicken and waffles. "Though I'm definitely sure there are tons of places calling themselves the Best Diner in the World, this one will always hold a special place in my heart."

"Hey, look, it's Steven Universe!" a news reporter yelled excitedly as he set his coffee on the counter and raced to sit next to Steven in his booth. "Mr. Universe, I'm Kent Clark from the Daily Star; it is an honor to meet you!" the reporter introduced himself while shaking Steven's hand. "Care to answer a few questions?"

"Uh, sure, I got time to kill." Steven shrugged while setting his fork down, while Thorn just raised an eyebrow.

"Question number one, can you describe your early childhood?" Kent asked while pulling out a notepad.

"Well, if I had to describe it in one word, it would be "complex," Steven answered. "On one hand, I was used to having fun adventures with my friends involving my favorite ice cream being discontinued or taking my new backpack on an adventure. On the other, my life has been put at risk more times than I can count on my fingers, and I learned some shocking truths about my heritage that I'm better off forgetting about."

"I think you're selling yourself short there, friend." Thorn commented dryly.

"I see." Kent replied. "Now for question two. How are you coping with life following your recent adventures?"

"Pretty okay, actually." Steven answered again. "I've been traveling the country in search of an identity for myself and maybe a new place to live, but I've promised my friends back in Beach City that I'll return every so often." Then his face suddenly turned dour. "But the events of last month have been pretty shocking for me, even by my standards. As it turns out, there's a whole alternate universe where I'm the evil ruler of Earth, and I tried convincing him to change his ways before he got killed. Or, at least, I think he was killed. I got my gem taken out, and I didn't instantly die either."

"The multiverse, eh?" Kent murmured. "You mean the concept of an infinite number of universes with infinite possibilities? You know, I always daydreamed about being a mild-mannered reporter who's actually the last of an alien race sent to Earth by my parents to be adopted by a kindly farmer couple, and the Earth's sun basically turns me into God. What if there's another universe where that's my life?"

"Look, it's been nice talking to you, but I think I have to go." Steven said as Kent let him move out of the way, only to be hounded by more reporters and even some other restaurant patrons.

"Mr. Universe, is it true that you're as much of a white supremacist as the hashtag says?!" one sensationalist reporter asked.

"Wait, a what supremacist?!" Steven gasped in alarm. "Where are you getting this from?!"

"Just this page dedicated to Black Rutile, sir." The reporter said. "Asking about discrepancy here."

"I think I should really go now; thanks for having me, everyone." Steven hurriedly said as he shuffled his way out of the diner and back to his car. "Of course, Black Rutile would keep spreading slander like this."

"You, a white supremacist?" Inner Steven sneered. "Maybe when the pigs fly as the fat lady sings."

Back inside the diner, Kent was doodling a picture of himself as a superhero on a new page in his notepad. The superhero version of Kent was dressed in a blue costume with a set of red trunks, boots, a cape, and a big S on his chest. "Hm, what should I call him? Supreme?" he muttered to himself. "Naw, pretty sure that's already taken. Superior? Hm, getting a little warmer."

Steven's journey now took him to Empire City, where he hoped some familiar faces would help him. That reminded him, he had a meetup with Beckham Jordan he needed to attend because they had arranged a basketball game with some of the local kids. But unfortunately for him, that would soon have to wait. As Steven disembarked from his car and began walking through Empire City, he was quickly greeted by the familiar voice of a little girl. "Mommy, look, it's Mr. Steven!"

"Wait, is that who I think it is?" Steven chuckled as he turned around to find Chloe, the little girl that he and Spinel helped reunite with her mother Yvonne, running towards him. "Chloe, it's been so long! And you've gotten so big too!"

"Yeah, I'm six now!" Chloe giggled as she wrapped Steven in a big hug while Yvonne laughed.

"Oh, hello Steven, fancy seeing you here again." Yvonne greeted Steven. "I saw you on the news last month. Technically, it wasn't you; I think it was that evil you. Whatever happened to him?"

"I'd rather not talk about that." Steven tried to dodge the subject while gently setting Chloe down. "Listen, I'd love to stay and chat and maybe babysit, but I got things in this city to do. I'm actually planning to check up on Beckham Jordan and his friends today so we can shoot some hoops together."

"Oh, how delightful!" Yvonne exclaimed. "Tell Mr. Jordan I said hi. I'm a pretty big fan."

"Bye, Mr. Steven. I hope I can see Spinel again!" Chloe waved Steven goodbye as he returned to walking, unaware that four men in suits with differently-colored ties, one blue, one purple, one red, and one orange, were quietly following him.

"Hey Steven, I'm open!" Beckham Jordan yelled as Steven tossed the basketball to him, and a group of kids tried blocking him.

"Oh no, you don't!" one of the boys exclaimed while snatching the ball away and dribbling it toward the hoop on the left. "Score!" he yelled as he made a perfect dunk. "Woo, go me!"

"Nice moves there, Koby." Steven patted Koby on the head. "Who knows? With enough practice, you might be playing on the same team as Beck."

"Now, now Steven, let's not get too hasty." Coach Monroe chuckled warmly before blowing his whistle. "Okay, kids, halftime!" On that note, the kids took a break from their game to start swarming around Steven with questions galore.

"Mr. Steven, how can you fuse with fuse with humans and Gems?" a girl asked.

"I think it may be because I'm half-human, half-Gem." Steven answered. "I'm unsure if I ever delved too deep into that topic."

"Have you ever tried fusing with them both?" a boy added.

"I don't think I ever considered that either." Steven replied. "Anyone else?"

"Can you turn into a monster for us?" another kid asked while raising their hand.

"I'm afraid that's a no." Steven said nervously. "I only turned into a monster due to massive amounts of bubbled-up stress and cortisol from all my years of adventuring. Plus, I'm not sure if I can even do that anymore."

"I got a question." Matt asked, pointing to the growing crowd of news reporters and photographers outside the court. "Any of those guys looking for you?" Steven cringed in disgust as he spotted the paparazzi trying to break through to meet him.

"Just when I thought we'd finally get away from them." Inner Steven grimaced when he suddenly got an idea. "Here comes a thought. Why don't you walk up to those autograph hounds and show them what for?"

"Are you sure?" Steven asked his conscience. "They're obnoxious, but I don't think they mean any harm."

"Go on, yell at them." Thorn sneered evilly, his former life as Negative Steven beginning to show once more. "Do it!"

"Mr. Universe, we'd like to ask you a few questions for the Empire City Times." A newswoman asked with her microphone to Steven's face. "Just recently, your friends in Beach City have reached international celebrity status. Care to disclose your feelings on the matter?"

"Uh, I don't think they ever told me about this." Steven answered shyly.

"Correct, this status was thrust upon them without warning too." Another reporter stated. "Onto more pressing matters, did you truly believe it was right to imprison Black Rutile in Little Homeworld instead of shattering her?"

"Taking lives just isn't my thing." Steven replied as he slowly began glowing pink with anxiety. "Black Rutile needed to learn that her actions had consequences, no matter how much she insisted that she was in the right!"

"Yet you're still letting her run free to enact her revenge on you and your super friends." A third reporter proclaimed with a scoff. "Like just recently, she attempted a takeover of the world with the assistance of an evil doppelganger of yourself from another dimension. Who's really to blame here, you or her? Or perhaps you're becoming just like her?"

"SHUT UP ALREADY!" Steven finally screamed as his powers and temper took control, and he sent the news team flying with a mere yell while creating a small crater beneath his feet. "I am nothing like Black Rutile, and I never will be! So just leave me alone already!" As the dust settled and the reporters collected themselves from the shock of the blast, Steven looked around and gasped at what he had just done before looking back at Inner Steven, who had his arms folded with a smirk.

"Attaboy, Steven." Inner Steven smiled proudly before he looked at the stunned children. "Care to explain what you just traumatized them with over there?"

"Mr. Steven, are you okay?" one of the frightened children Steven was just playing basketball with bravely stepped forward to ask the older boy.

"I….I….." Steven muttered in terror before running away from the court, dismayed with how he had just acted.

"Steven, wait!" Beckham cried as he raced after Steven. Not too far from the court, the four men in black watched the incident patiently from behind their pitch-black sunglasses.

"Hmmmm." The man in the blue tie pondered. "Mr. Donatello, would you care to discuss what we have just witnessed."

"It seems his powers are triggered under extreme stress, just as Aescul stated." Mr. Donatello, the man in the purple tie, analyzed in a robotic tone of voice. "Had he been pushed farther, the effects would've been lethal."

"We need to bring that boy to his majesty at once!" the red-tied man hissed while taking off his shades to reveal snakelike eyes beneath them. "He is too dangerous to continue living on this planet!"

"Calm yourself, Mr. Raphael." The orange-tied man suggested to his companion. "I suggest we continue our surveillance of Steven to see where he goes from here. Should he indeed threaten the human race, we will take action."

"As always, Mr. Michelangelo, you are right." The blue tie man said to Mr. Michelangelo with a reptilian smile. "We cannot simply alter our mission now. I request further investigation on this child, and then report back to me. Understood?"

"Yes, Mr. Leonardo." Mr. Donatello, Mr. Raphael, and Mr. Michelangelo nodded with their hands over their hearts. "Glory to sneople-kind." As the three snakes disguised as humans slithered back into the shadows, Mr. Leonardo kept out of sight as he snuck his way towards the basketball court, taking advantage of Coach Monroe trying to calm the scared children down.

"Hm, this has Diamond written all over it." Mr. Leonardo observed the crater Steven had created. "The royal family must be informed of this."

"Uh, can I help you sir?" Matt asked Mr. Leonardo, who responded by presenting the coach with a silver pen-like object in his hand.

"I need you to look in here, please. My pen seems to be broken." Leonardo stated before the "pen" emitted a bright flash that momentarily stunned Matt and the kids. As soon as they could see again, the man in black had vanished when in reality, he had retreated to the rooftops to continue his investigation.

"Steven! Steven!" Beckham called for his little friend while walking through the Narrows. "Come on out, squirt; I won't bite!"

"Hey buddy, you looking for someone?" a hot dog seller asked Beckham in a thick Brooklyn accent.

"Yes, I'm looking for my friend Steven." Beckham answered with a nod. "He's about yay high, wears a pink jacket, and is probably running in shame of his powers going out of control! Seen him run by here?"

"Oh, you mean Steven Universe?" the hot dog seller said while sticking a wiener in his mouth like a cigar. "I saw him run crying into that alleyway over there." He pointed towards an alley just a few blocks behind him, and Beckham could see that it was now glowing pink.

"Oh, thank you so much, sir. You're a lifesaver!" Beckham smiled as he enthusiastically raced towards the alley.

Meanwhile, Steven had curled himself up into a ball to cry, still ashamed over his earlier outburst while fuming over how Inner Steven egged him on. "This is all your fault."

"My fault?" Thorn said defensively. "Technically, this is just as much your fault since I am a part of you. Guess I'll have to get used to being your conscience."

"Just leave me alone." Steven responded sadly before he heard footsteps coming towards him. "Let me guess, another reporter?"

"No, Steven, it's me." Beckham said calmly while sitting down next to his friend and fan. "Listen, I understand what just happened was because you're under a lot of stress. You're an international superstar now, and I totally get that. Heck, even I need some time away from the press sometimes. But I prefer not to drive them away with any weird alien superpowers I got from my mom."

"So what are you trying to say?" Steven said before Beckham put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"The point is that I know how you feel and how to help." Beckham said, helping Steven up off the ground before finding a nearby costume shop. "Follow me; I know of a perfect disguise."

"Have to say, this celebrity isn't half bad." Inner Steven grinned at Beckham's willingness to help Steven.

"Yeah, he's a really great guy." Steven responded, much to Beckham's confusion.

"Steven, who are you talking to?" Beckham asked Steven.

"Just my conscience." Steven replied frankly, much to Beckham's confusion, as the two entered the costume shop. Above the shop however, Mr. Leonardo and his cohorts watched the two silently before beginning to talk among themselves.

"Despite his godlike power, Steven is just as human as the rest of them." Mr. Leonardo proclaimed stoically. "Our people and their special friend must know about this."

"So this is the same boy who brought the Diamonds to their knees?" Mr. Raphael added sourly. "Pathetic."

"Don't speak too soon, Mr. Raphael." Mr. Donatello assured his teammate. "If Steven truly has pure intentions for the universe, we shall allow him to live his life. If not, he will be exterminated, and the entire Gem race shall be reset to their original programming." However, the sheer gravitas of Donatello's declaration was undercut by Mr. Michelangelo noisily snacking on some pizza. "Mr. Michelangelo, could you please stop eating that Earthen source of nourishment so messily?"

"I apologize, my friends. It's just that the humans make such good food." Mr. Michelangelo said with his mouth full of pizza. "Want some?"

"Not right now. We must keep watching." Mr. Leonardo declined the offer as Steven emerged from the costume shop wearing a red button-up Hawaiian shirt, sunglasses, and a fake mustache.

"You sure this'll help me blend in?" Steven asked regarding his tourist disguise.

"Trust me. Nobody will suspect some tourist in a goofy mustache." Beckham replied proudly. "Gonna need an accent too, though."

"You mean-a like this-a?" Steven asked in a fake Italian accent, causing Beckham to laugh. "Hey-a, I'm-a nailing this!"

"Yes, it's like you're a completely different person." Inner Steven chuckled sarcastically.

"Listen, let's just go to my penthouse, and we can lay low there for a bit." Beckham instructed Steven. "Hopefully, we won't have fans bothering us then." Looking at his watch, Beckham then realized something. "Oh wait, Makoto and the cheer squad should be practicing in my gym right now. That won't be too much of an issue, right?"

"Naw, Makoto's good people; I'm sure it'll be fine." Steven said in his normal voice as he and his favorite basketball player walked away to the penthouse.

"Okay, girls, let's run through our routine again!" the voice of Makoto Fuji exclaimed to her fellow cheerleaders as Steven and Beckham entered Beckham's penthouse, where they found Matt sitting on the couch with a book in hand. "A five, six, seven, eight!"

"Oh, Beck, didn't expect you back so soon." Matt said while looking up from his book and then at the disguised Steven. "Who's your friend here? Found another visitor?"

"It's me, Steven." Steven whispered while taking off his disguise. "Had to put this on to avoid the press."

"Clever move there, kiddo." Matt grinned with a nod. "Hey Makoto, Steven's here to visit! Why don't you and the girls take a breather and come see him?"

"Oh, Steven!" Makoto turned to find Steven outside the gym before lowering her pom-poms and speaking to her cheerleaders. "Take five girls. Got an old friend coming over."

"Hey, is that Steven Universe?!" one of the cheerleaders, a brunette with blue eyes, said excitedly. "Yo Bonnie, Makoto's friends with Steven Universe!"

"OMG, Steven?!" the redheaded cheerleader Bonnie cried and raced over to greet Steven. "I can't believe it, Sarah; I'm meeting Steven Universe!"

"Hi, nice to meet you, girls." Steven blushed shyly while shaking the cheerleaders' hands. "Makoto, it's been so long!"

"Steven!" Makoto cheered as she scooped Steven in her arms and spun him around. "You could not believe how worried I was for you when you turned into that big dinosaur thing! How are you recovering?"

"I'm doing just fine." Steven sighed happily as Makoto gently put him down. "I'm just busy avoiding all my new fans lately, as a celebrity should do."

"Yeah, he's been bitten by the fame and fortune bug." Matt chuckled lightly. "I should know. I caught a glimpse of it myself."

"Well, while you're here, wanna check out the routine we've been working on?" Makoto offered. "We'll even dedicate our cheer to you!"

"Sure, I could use some time to relax." Steven sighed agreeably while following the three girls into Beckham's gym, where the rest of the Vipers cheerleaders were doing some warm-up stretches and gymnastics while waiting for their captain to return.

"Okay girls, let's start over." Makoto called to the girls while picking up her pom-poms and taking her place in the center of the gym. "We got a special guest to perform for today, so let's make it count! Ready?!"

"Okay!" the other cheerleaders yelled. "S-T-E-V-E-N, who is our friend? Steven!" The girls then started bouncing around the gym as they formed a pyramid, with Makoto at the top, held up by Bonnie and Sarah. "Go, Steven!"

"Hey, you all did great!" Steven cheered back while taking a picture of the pyramid before him. "I have got to tell Connie about today and maybe send her this."

"Alright, tell her we said hi." Makoto replied as she was lowered to the ground, not noticing the four men in suits spying on them from outside.

Once outside the gym, Steven sat down on the couch and started calling Connie, who he believed was in her dorm room at the University of Jayhawk. "Hey Steven, long time no see! How's your road trip going?"

"Doing good. You'll never guess where I am right now!" Steven smiled before pointing his phone camera over to Beckham having coffee, who just waved at Connie. "So, how are you doing?"

"College enrollment has been hectic so far, but I'm keeping up." Connie replied. "Hey, did you hear that Peridot and Amethyst were on a talk show recently? Apparently, the president had the bright idea of making the Crystal Gems international superstars for all their deeds, including me."

"Yeah, I noticed." Steven muttered. "It's been pretty tough for me to get used to this, and I've been spending part of my journey running from the press and overly-obsessed fans."

"Hey, you're not alone here." Connie nodded. "Everyone's been worshipping me lately because of my association with the Gems, asking for autographs, favors, and even if they could name their future children after me!"

"Talk about nuts." Steven replied. "Makes me wonder how the Gems are doing?" While shrinking Connie's face on the screen, Steven decided to try texting Pearl. However, he got an automatic message with a video attached. "WE'RE SORRY, MISS PEARL CANNOT BE REACHED AT THE MOMENT." The message read. "SHE IS CURRENTLY FILMING FOR HER APPEARANCE IN THE UPCOMING BLOCKBUSTER 'THE PINK BEAST FROM THE BAY,' IN THEATERS SOON."

"The Pink Beast of the WHAT?!" Steven yelled, outraged at this profiting off his trauma while Inner Steven reappeared to give his two cents.

"A film based on you? What will they think of next?" Inner Steven dryly remarked.

"Really, a movie based on you turning into a monster?" Connie added just as dryly. "Then again, I've seen more offensive movies based on true events." Just then, she spotted something, or someone, standing on the balcony watching Steven. "Uh, gotta go Steven, I think someone is looking for you."

"Huh?" Steven turned around as Connie hung up to find Mr. Leonardo standing on the balcony outside with his arms crossed. "Uh, excuse me, sir, but if you're looking for someone, I don't think you'll find them here."

"That's the idea, Steven Universe." Mr. Leonardo said as he forced his way into the penthouse, and his cohorts emerged behind him, almost like he duplicated himself. "We have come for you."

"Hey now, you're trespassing on private property here!" Beckham yelled as he blocked the four men from getting their hands on Steven.

"You do not understand, human. We don't mean any harm." Mr. Donatello responded. "Simply hand over the child and we will let you live."

"No way we're letting you get your hands on him!" Sarah Summers added defensively.

"You mess with him; you're gonna have to mess with us first." Bonnie Kimberly proclaimed as the other cheerleaders surrounded the men in black.

"Go, Steven, get out of here!" Makoto urged her little friend. "We'll take them from here!" Steven gave a terse nod and immediately raced out of the penthouse, while the four men tried to follow.

"After him!" Mr. Raphael yelled when he was suddenly put into a headlock by Matt.

"Watch out, he's dangerous!" Mr. Michelangelo exclaimed in fright.

"You bet I'm dangerous; I was a champion wrestler in college!" Matt boasted. "Wanna see me do a mean grapple?!"

"I'd like to see you try!" Mr. Raphael yelled while trying to wriggle free.

When Steven thought things couldn't get any worse, those four guys in suits just had to suddenly appear wanting to talk to him. He needed to get out of Empire City and fast. Steven floored it as soon as he found his car, and almost like a flash of light, he was gone from the city in the blink of an eye.

"Where should we go now?!" Thorn yelled harshly as Steven kept his eyes on the road. "What if those four guys keep following us?!"

"I don't know!" Steven replied in terror. "Let's just stop at the nearest city and lay low for a few days or so! Hopefully, there will be someone we know there!" In what felt like only a few hours, Steven was so stressed that he lost track of time, he suddenly realized that he had accidentally crashed into a tree. "Where are we?"

"Seems rather peaceful out." Thorn mused happily before he noticed a massive music festival, with a group of rather flamboyant men dressed as a policeman, an Indian chief, a cowboy, a construction worker, a soldier, and a leatherman performing on stage. "And I spoke too soon."

"Hey, it's the annual Wood-Shavings Festival!" Steven exclaimed. "Only one of the biggest music festivals in the country! You know, I know a few musicians myself; maybe we can meet some here."

"I'll give you the benefit of the doubt here, Steven." Inner Steven sighed. "Besides, that much leather on one person must be a nightmare to wear in the summertime."

As the two Stevens combed their way through the crowd, they were once again unaware that the four men were still following them, apparently having escaped the clutches of Beckham Jordan and company. When Steven began to get closer, he saw familiar faces relaxing backstage. "Sadie? Shep?!"

"Steven?" Sadie gasped and raced towards her old friend in delight. "Oh my goodness, it's been so long!" she squealed while wrapping Steven in a hug. "What's been happening lately?!"

"Just a lot of stuff." Steven explained. "Gem terrorists attempting to take over the world, on the run from obsessed fans and guys in suits, talking to my own darker half turned conscience."

"Yo." Inner Steven greeted Sadie, even though Steven was the only one who could see him.

"So, what brings you here to Springfield?" Shep asked Steven. "I'm not sure if this is really a coincidence that you arrived just as we were about to perform with Sunshine Justice here."

"Hey Steven, long time no see!" Sunshine Justice greeted Steven with a smile. "My, you've certainly been growing since last we met! How's Greg doing?"

"He's doing great. In fact, he's moved into my old room now." Steven replied. "I gave it to him as a gift before I left home to find myself and run from my obsessed fans."

"Oh yeah, I heard everyone's cuckoo for Crystal Gem puffs now, probably including you." Sadie said. "How have you been faring?"

"That's why I found my way here, to escape all the hustle and bustle of celebrity life." Steven answered. "More times than I could count, I've been followed around by news reporters and photographers wanting to talk to me, and some of them think I'm no better than Black Rutile."

"Is that where they came from?" Shep asked while they pointed at the four men in suits marching towards Steven. "Or are they just security?"

"You guys!" Steven cried while unleashing his shield. "What did you do to my friends?!"

"Do not worry, Steven, they are safe, for they are not our objective." Mr. Leonardo stated while adjusting his blue tie. "We only want to speak with you, Mr. Universe."

"Uh, I'm going to need a refresher on this!" Sunshine Justice stepped back as the men approached her, Steven, Sadie, and Shep. "What are they, the feds?"

"No human, we are simply four individuals on a mission to speak with Steven here." Mr. Michelangelo revealed. "To see whether he has any pure intentions for the universe at large."

"Okay, fine, I'll tell!" Steven finally submitted to the four's commands. "If you think I will turn out like Black Rutile or that evil alternate universe me, I'd rather die than go evil! I know that not everyone will agree with me, but I don't mean any harm!" The four men were silent before turning to each other and huddled. Soon, they turned back to Steven with rather uncharacteristic smiles on their faces.

"Very well then." Mr. Leonardo stated warmly. "We'll simply be on our way. Have a splendid day, Steven." Mr. Leonardo and his comrades then turned and disappeared into the crowd, leaving Steven to wonder what inspired their change in tune.

"So good to finally have them out of my hair." Steven sighed with relief before turning to Sadie and Shep. "Well, while I'm here, care to invite me onstage? Would be nice for us to sing together again."

"Sure, the more, the merrier." Sadie agreed while handing Steven a ukulele that looked exactly like the old one he gave to Pearl.

For the rest of the evening, Steven sang onstage with Sadie and Shep, while Sunshine Justice provided backup. But while he was happy to reunite with some old friends, the four men from earlier still lurked about the festival grounds to continue watching Steven.

"His majesty and the Lapidarist will be pleased with what we have discovered." Mr. Leonardo proclaimed while removing his sunglasses, allowing him to shapeshift his head into a creature resembling an Australian copperhead snake. "Come, my friends. We must return to Serpentes with our findings."

"Do we have to?" Mr. Michelangelo complained. "I wanted to stay and enjoy the human music."

"We can examine human music later, Mr. Michelangelo." Mr. Donatello assured his partner. "Mr. Raphael, our ship, please."

"Understood." Mr. Raphael obeyed before pulling out a device that made a snakelike spaceship visible, and the four Sneople boarded the ship before it vanished into the stars above. "GLORY TO SNEOPLE-KIND!"

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 16: Somebody To Lean On

On another bright sunny day in Little Homeworld, the residents gathered around a stage where the Crystal Gems stood alongside Steven's therapist Rebecca Sucrose because they had an announcement to make. "Good day, everyone!" Pearl greeted the Gems. "Today, we are having a special mental health day, and to celebrate, we have an equally special guest! Please welcome award-winning therapist Dr. Rebecca Sucrose!"

"Hello, everybody. Nice to meet you." Rebecca greeted to some scattered applause. "Some of you may know me as the therapist of one Steven Universe-"

"BOO, YOU STINK BY ASSOCIATION!" Eyeball abruptly jeered.

"But after some suggestions by Steven himself, I have now come here to talk with all of you." Rebecca continued, barely noticing Eyeball's insult. "I have won awards for my psychiatric breakthroughs, but I'm not so sure how I'd do with people who don't really have any physical brains to analyze, so to speak."

"Trust me; you won't find any brains here, regardless." Black Rutile rolled her eyes in disgust while turning to her cohorts. "Seriously, what's the point of her coming here anyways? And no one tell me what she just said!"

"I suggest taking on Black Rutile there first." Amethyst suggested to Rebecca. "She's a real space case, that one. I'm pretty sure you've seen her on TV before, right?"

"Oh yes, I saw her trial." Rebecca nodded in affirmation. "She's the psycho who tried to frame you guys as evil, right? I'd really like to psychoanalyze her like my old teacher did."

"Very much." Garnet stated while putting her hands on the therapist's shoulders. "I know it may seem like an arduous task, but we implore you to please find a way to get through to her, Doctor."

"I'll see what I can do." Rebecca said before turning back to her audience. "Okay, everybody, line up so I can give you all some therapy! Come on now; we haven't got all day!" However, as the Gems began forming a very long line, Black Rutile refused to join in on the action, making it easy for Rebecca to point her out. "You there, you're first!"

"Wait, me?!" Black Rutile gasped as she tried to back away. "No, I don't want any part in this!"

"Too late, you're going first!" Lapis commanded while Jasper and White Topaz dragged Black Rutile onto a couch with Rebecca sitting beside it.

"Okay, doctor, fire away!" Peridot exclaimed.

"I'd be delighted to." Rebecca smiled before turning to Black Rutile. "Now, judging by what my good friend Dr. James Brenner has told the Gems, you seem to suffer from antisocial personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder and are also self-diagnosed to be on the autism spectrum disorder. Correct?"

"Correct." Black Rutile agreed with Rebecca. "And I am not ashamed to admit I refuse to be anything else. It has been a rough past couple of months for me. I've lost everything I ever had, my forces have been arrested and are being tried for crimes they didn't commit, I'm being forced to live here as punishment for my crimes, and I've also learned that my entire status can be attributed to my former Diamond having a sense of humor. Have you ever felt like you were on top of the world only to feel like everything has been taken away from you in one fell swoop."

"I can definitely see that you're refusing to cope with change." Rebecca analyzed Black Rutile's recap of her life thus far. "Now, could this be because you're so attached to the identity you've made for yourself and everything associated with it? Are you suffering from loneliness, perhaps?"

"Very much." Black Rutile replied, now curling up into a ball on the couch as she let a more vulnerable side of her out. "Nowadays, I feel like whatever I do, I just feel like everyone will always be out to get me, and nobody will ever be on my side again. Well, aside from Aquamarine, the Rubies, Holly Blue, and Cat's Eye. I guess that's what happens when you're public enemy #1 across the entire universe."

"Have you made any new friends at all lately?" Rebecca wondered while writing everything Black Rutile said down.

"Oh yes, the most amazing friend I could ever have." Black Rutile answered eagerly. "Her name is Sally Grove, and I have never felt so connected with someone before! She despises the Crystal Gems just like me, and is also so vehemently opposed to any form of kindness and love and takes pride in how much of a horrible person she is! She's like me as a human!"

"Well, good to know you're making some progress." Rebecca said. "But please know that no matter how much you deny it, you need help, Black Rutile. Perhaps if you just listened to the Crystal Gems, your life would become so much better."

"Yeah, I think we should stop here." Black Rutile declared as she hopped off the couch, once again refusing to make any peace with the Crystal Gems. "If you think I'll ever change my ways, then you can just forget it!"

"See, we told you she'd be a tough nut to crack." Bismuth declared as Rebecca looked somewhat disappointed in both Black Rutile and herself. "Hey, don't look so down, Becky! Who knows? Maybe the others will be easier?"

"Hm, I doubt it." Jasper sneered. "I got a bad feeling Black Rutile might be starting up a new army right under our noses."

"That would explain why the Rubies have been hanging out with her lately." White Topaz muttered in reply. "Maybe we should just wait on the sidelines and see what happens."

"But what will happen when we keep waiting, and she takes us by surprise?" Pearl wondered ominously.

"I think I know what." Garnet proclaimed with her future vision giving her a glimpse of dark times to come. "And it's not pretty."

"I just feel like, so lost here!" Aquamarine complained to Rebecca. "I feel like I'm still stuck in the past and want to have something like my old life, but I want to move on with my life too!"

"Hm, a classic case of a stranger in a familiar land." Rebecca said, continuing to write in her notepad. "Now, is there anyone in that previous life you'd like to reconnect with?"

"Yeah, Topaz." Aquamarine replied, looking down in shame at how she had abandoned her old bodyguard. "As soon as Era 3 began, she up and ran off to Little Homeschool to get as far away from me as possible. Well, frankly, she definitely had the right idea."

"Well, would you care to try and talk to her?" Rebecca offered as Topaz stood right behind her, ready to make amends perhaps. "I got her right here."

"Hey, Aquamarine." Topaz said quietly as she stood face-to-face with her old boss. "How have things been?"

"Oleaginous." Aquamarine answered sourly. "Just feeling absolutely alone in a world that I just wanted to save. You understand what I'm going through, right?"

"Yeah, kind of." Topaz said. "I only wanted to follow orders, yet I wanted to do what I wanted at the same time. And, of course, you kept getting in the way of things. But in Era 3, I'm finally free to be myself. Yet at the same time, I don't want to see anyone so alone, even you." She extended a hand of compassion to Aquamarine. "So, care for a second chance?"

"Ugh, you're a little too forgiving." Aquamarine grumbled as she shook Topaz's hand. "But hey, you commit to whatever you feel like; I won't judge anymore."

"Glad to see you're willing to change." Topaz smiled before Aquamarine hopped off the couch and walked away. "Wow, that was easier than I thought."

"Oh yes, very easy." Aquamarine scowled under her breath. "You mouth-breathing fusion. You'll soon see things my way again."

"So, Cat's Eye, what's on your mind right now?" Rebecca asked her next patient.

"Losing everything because of Steven." Cat moaned, her weeping muffled by the couch cushions. "First, I had my status taken away, but since I could be whatever I wanted in Era 3, I decided to become a lawyer. But that turned out poorly, so I joined up with this Cinnabar who was Black Rutile's apprentice, but then her plans got foiled, and I was sent down to Little Homeschool as punishment for my association with Black Rutile!" She looked up at Rebecca, her makeup now running. "I feel like every time I want to make a change in my life; everything just keeps going wrong!"

"Feels like you've been through a lot." Rebecca nodded sympathetically. "And it feels like recovering might take a while for you. I think a therapy animal could be of use."

"A what?" Cat groaned.

"A therapy animal, it's exactly what it sounds like." Rebecca answered kindly. "In fact, the Gems got into contact with the animal shelter just for this occasion."

"Careful now, they might scamper off." Garnet said while carrying a box full of kittens for Cat to choose from while Cat Steven rested on her head. "Now then, choose which one you'd like."

"Oh, cats. Hardy-har-har." Cat laughed mockingly while examining the cats in front of her. Three of them seemed relatively close, a white kitten with a pink bow, a black kitten wearing a red bowtie, and a brown kitten with a blue bowtie. Another cat had a blank look on his face while playing with a stuffed frog. Another cat was licking out of a pudding cup and seemed very protective of his treat. But the cat that stood out to Cat's Eye the most was a rather shy-looking cat with all black fur, a matching-colored hairbow on her head, and a yellow dragon toy in its mouth. "I want that one."

"Oh, you mean this one?" Rebecca wondered while scooping up the kitten in her arms. "This one's a little shy, like she doesn't know where she belongs in the world. I think you could relate."

"I do, actually." Cat realized as she was handed the shy kitten. "What's her name?"

"The shelter calls her Blake." Garnet answered. "I think the name fits."

"Yes, it does." Cat's Eye smiled at her new furry friend and gave her a nuzzle. "Don't you love your new mama, Blake? Don't you?" Blake let out a meow and licked her new owner. "Aw, she likes me!"

"Looks like you have a new friend, Cat Steven." Garnet smiled at her cat while pulling Cat Steven off her head and showing him to Blake, and the two cats started gently batting at each other.

"I feel like I have no one to control anymore!" Holly Blue overdramatically yelled in exasperation. "My entire life, I happily accepted orders from whoever was above me in power, whether it was the Diamonds, Black Rutile, or Cinnabar. I reveled in how much power I held over lower-ranking Gems! But now it seems like I have nothing, and all I am anymore is a worthless punching bag! Black Rutile was my one ticket to regaining my old life and sense of identity, and look how that turned out!"

"So you feel like being controlling and harsh is the only thing that gives you joy in life, eh?" Rebecca wondered. "Well, have you ever considered trying to be a little fairer, but still stern at the same time?"

"What good will that do me?" Holly asked.

"Well, you could be a lot more likable that way." Rebecca added. "I've gathered that you prefer showing power through abuse and control, which is not a healthy mindset. Would you care to elaborate on where that came from?"

"I was always very eager to please my superiors, so if I acted like them, that would make them proud of me." Holly Blue revealed. "But maybe you're right. Maybe it's time I start thinking about me instead of them."

Meanwhile, Black Rutile had returned home to contemplate what Dr. Sucrose had said to her. Maybe she was suffering from loneliness. Maybe she was attached to the identity she formed as a servant of White Diamond. But did it really matter in the end? She had nothing, and it was all thanks to the Crystal Gems, yet they're only now showing concern for her well-being. Well, where was this sentiment before? She needed someone else to talk to about this, someone who could lend a hand in this time of need. And she knew someone who was fitting enough to do it.

"Hello again, Black Rutile!" Black Rutile's criminal psychologist James Brenner greeted his patient cheerfully. "How have things been going recently? It feels like we haven't talked in a while."

"Just got psychoanalyzed by one Rebecca Sucrose as part of a mental health day." Black Rutile answered. "She says that I'm suffering from loneliness and desperation to grasp onto what remains of my identity, or something like that. Do you see that too?"

"Yes, I believe so." Brenner nodded in reply. "Your recent behavior screams trying to get everyone's attention so you'd be hailed as the smartest in the room. And yet no matter what, you never seem to get that praise you crave so much. Instead, you are feared and hated by all. Your former allies, your enemies, and the public as well. But I believe that it's not too late to make a change, my friend."

"Yeah, you're right." Black Rutile frowned, which quickly turned into an angry grimace. "Why is it that when I do something bad, I'm the only one who's punished while Gems like Demantoid, Pyrope, Emerald, Morganite, Peridot, Lapis, Bismuth, and the Diamonds get off with a slap on the wrist despite doing far worse?! It just isn't fair!"

"Yes, the universe can sometimes have a twisted sense of humor." James sighed in reply. "But regardless, knowing you, you'd likely find a way around this."

"Oh yes." Black Rutile grinned evilly as she peered outside her window to spy on Rebecca, now serving as a shrink for Emerald. "If there's one thing the Crystal Gems haven't taken away, it's my love of manipulating people to my side. And by golly, do I have the master plan!"

"I'm actually pretty okay with the life I'm living now, but I still hold a grudge against Lars for getting away with stealing and/or destroying my ships!" Emerald vented her remaining struggles to Rebecca. "Do you think I have a problem with letting go of old grudges?"

"What do you think?" Rebecca commented. "Maybe should this Lars stop by, perhaps find a way to make amends with him."

"I'll try to give that a shot." Emerald obliged with a sigh, unaware that a black camera drone was watching her every move.

"I want to give cross-Gem fusions a chance, but I still feel so weird near them." Morganite complained to Rebecca. "I think it dates back to when my Ruby and Pearl would keep fusing behind my back, no matter how much I kept rejuvenating them."

"I see, still retaining some deep-seated prejudices." Rebecca muttered.

"And it didn't help that when I met my Ruby and Pearl's fusion for the first time in ages; I nearly got chucked out of my building!" Morganite shouted, surprising the therapist. "Don't worry, she calmed down thanks to her off-color friends, but that is not a good look for the rest of her kind."

"We lost because of her!" Pyrope childishly blamed Demantoid for their failures while sticking her tongue out at the green Gem.

"No, we lost because you were too full of yourself to consider the angles that only I could see!" Demantoid argued back while sticking her tongue out at her prissier partner.

"I've actually dealt with a few bickering couples before." Rebecca nodded as she observed the Garnets' back and forth, much to the duo's embarrassment as they began blushing like crazy. "Would you care to experiment with a few methods to improve your relationship?"

"We are not a couple!" Demantoid and Pyrope yelled in Rebecca's face in unison.

"Okay, I get your point, but trust me when I say that it will take time for you two to understand each other again."

"Like what?" Demantoid asked curiously.

"Like a trust fall, for example." Rebecca suggested. "Basically, one of you has to fall, and the other has to catch you. Now, who wants to be the catcher?"

"I think Demantoid should do it." Pyrope suggested while crossing her arms and preparing to fall.

"Wait, I think I'm a little too small for this!" Demantoid disagreed hurriedly before Pyrope tipped herself over, and since Demantoid was so small, she was crushed underneath the larger Gem.

"Oh my goodness, are you alright?!" Rebecca exclaimed as she raced over to Demantoid's side while Pyrope got up and dusted herself off.

"Why thank you, senator." A dazed Demantoid answered. "The fish was delish, and it made quite a dish. Creepy pants all the time get some. Sever your leg please sir; it's the greatest day."

"Is she going to be okay?" Pyrope asked sheepishly as she slowly backed away from her delirious partner.

"It's just a concussion; I think she'll be fine." Rebecca answered assuredly.

The day soon began winding to an end as Rebecca had just about finished therapizing the Gems. As she started packing her things and saying goodbye to the Crystal Gems, Rebecca saw Black Rutile walking up to her. "Oh, hello, Black Rutile. Care to discuss our chat earlier before I leave?"

"Why yes, I'd be happy to." Black Rutile put on a fake smile in reply. "You know, thinking about our talk has really done me a world of good. I have finally come to terms with who I am in this world."

"Oh, that's wonderful!" Rebecca cheered before Black Rutile abruptly grabbed her by the neck and began strangling her.

"Yes, I know exactly who I am." Black Rutile repeated menacingly. "I am a planet-conquering, gaslighting, opportunistic, sociopathic terrorist through and through. I have ended the lives of both Gems and organics, conquered numerous worlds in the name of my so-called superiors, and nearly succeeded in destroying the Earth multiple times. And I'd rather be shattered a thousand times over before that entitled, messiah-complexed brat forces me to be anything else."

"Hey Black Rutile, get your hands off her!" Amethyst yelled at Black Rutile as the Crystal Gems came to Doctor Sucrose's rescue.

"What is the meaning of strangling such a kind woman like her?" Pearl asked as Garnet freed Rebecca from Black Rutile's clutches.

"What? No! You're getting it all wrong!" Black Rutile lied to save face. "I was just giving her the biggest hug I could muster as thanks for helping me see the light! You were right; she is a good therapist."

"A likely story, Black Rutile." Garnet coldly replied. "We'll be keeping an eye on you. Try not to cause any trouble in the meantime."

"Oh, I promise." Black Rutile assured the Crystal Gems before walking away with an evil smile on her face. "Oh, they have no idea what's coming to them."

"See what I meant when I said she was a total space case?!" Amethyst exclaimed to Rebecca, who was busy rubbing her aching neck.

"I can definitely see your point, but I still have faith in her." Rebecca gasped in response. "I just hope she has enough faith in herself."

"And that was my day today." Black Rutile said to Sally Grove later that day. "So sure, I do suffer from loneliness, but my next plan, should the Flipso one fail, will prove to be a cure for that!"

"Indoctrinating the masses, right?" Sally wondered while filing her nails. "Who are you going to start with?"

"I think I'll start with some of my former cohorts." Black Rutile replied. "Maybe Emerald, Morganite, and the Garnets to start with. They're a little too comfortable here, and I'd be all too eager to make them come crawling back to me." Just then, she heard a knock at the door. "One second, I have to take this."

"Oh, Black Rutile, I'm respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my authority as a good neighbor by coming in any way!" Teal Zircon cried as she burst into Black Rutile's house with a signature big smile on her face. "You would not believe what Dr. Sucrose told me today! She says I might have ADHD or something!"

"ADHD, eh?" Black Rutile smirked at the overly energetic Zircon. "Ah, a fellow neurodivergent Gem. How about we engage in a little bit of that neurodivergent solidarity by talking a little?"

"And then I was nearly strangled to death by that Rutile!" Rebecca later complained to George Ikari in a coffee shop. "I've been told she was unstable, but this is ridiculous! And after I lent a comforting ear to her too!"

"I hope you're recovering nicely." George offered his support with his fingers steepled together. "But regardless, Black Rutile is a dangerous individual, and it'll only be a matter of time before she takes advantage of the hospitality she was given."

"Oh, hello there, you two." Dr. Brenner greeted George and Rebecca as he sat down at their table with a latte in hand. "Haven't seen you two since your graduation. How have things been?"

"Oh, Professor Brenner, it's been so long!" Rebecca squealed at the sight of her old teacher before hugging him, while George just grinned at the sight.

"James, it really has been a while." George smiled. "Class of 2008, right?"

"Ah yes, you were always one of my finest students, Mr. Ikari." James replied while giving George a gentle stroke of his hair. "Now then, I heard you two were talking about Black Rutile? I've actually had a chat with her earlier."

"I was assigned to give some therapy to the Gems of Little Homeworld, and Black Rutile was one of the first." Rebecca stated as she began to tell her story.

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 17: Little Homeworld Idol

"Welcome one and all to our very first Little Homeworld Idol!" Bismuth's voice declared as spotlights shined on the Beach-A-Palooza stage. "We got ourselves an impressive roster of singers here tonight, but first, let us get introduced to our judges!"

"First off, we have the Broadway sensation and star of classics like Death of a Salesman, Angels in America, and Cats, Brock Ridley!" A scruffy, long-nosed man in a red knit cap with a five o'clock shadow sat at the judges' stand with his legs kicked up on the table.

"Thank you, thank you, everybody." Brock Ridley thanked his adoring fans of humans and Gems. "This was not how I'd expect to spend my day, but I'll take what I can get."

"Next up is the fashion model, reality show host, and gender-nonconforming icon, Willie McCarthy!" A handsome and bald dark-skinned man dressed in an extravagant suit started blowing kisses to his fans.

"Pleasure to be here, my friends." Willie said as they struck a pose for his fans. "And be sure to catch my lifestyle reality series What A Drag, Wednesday nights on The DW!"

"Next up, it's famous fashion designer, animal rights activist, and academic Tristan Wheeler!" The spotlights shined next on an aged fellow in a black suit and glasses, who politely waved to the audience.

"Good evening, everybody." Tristan Wheeler greeted the viewers while straightening his suit. "Let's have a good clean competition, shall we?"

"And for our final judge, we have…." Bismuth announced before her showmanship faltered in absolute confusion. "Marty?! How did he get here?!"

"Hey, sorry I'm late, everybody!" Marty exclaimed as he pulled up a steel chair to sit beside the judges. "I just flew in from Keystone and my arms sure are tired!"

"Who let him here?" Pearl asked as the Crystal Gems and Sam Galley stood backstage.

"Hey, don't forget who's sponsoring this event!" Marty yelled before turning on one of the monitors to read, "LITTLE HOMEWORLD IDOL, BROUGHT TO YOU BY COOKIE CAT. HE'S THE PET FOR YOUR TUMMY!"

"I was the guy who organized this event! How did I not see that?!" Sam exclaimed at the monitor. Further backstage, the Rutile Rebels had gathered for Black Rutile's latest scheme.

"This is utterly genius! Thanks to my genius manipulations, I have convinced that talent agent to put this shlock together and make the Crystal Gems believe this was all his idea! Humans love competition, which should be a perfect excuse to gather more supporters!" Black Rutile proclaimed eagerly. "And naturally, we should also be performing our own song."

"What are you suggesting, my Rutile?" Holly Blue asked.

"Cat, hand me your phone." Black Rutile commanded the feline-like former attorney as she was handed Cat's smartphone and presented her minions with social media threads galore. "In my extensive research of the social media sites these humans love so much, it seems that the musicians that are lusted after the most are Korean boy bands and male pop stars." Scrolling through more posts, Black Rutile saw many ways for people to express their adoration of these celebrities. "Usually, they express their worship of these young men through writing fanfiction of real people or making what they call "fan-cams" of them."

"Wait, you can write fanfiction about real people?" Eyeball asked confusedly. "But aren't they, you know, real?"

"Exactly, but apparently, that doesn't matter to them." Black Rutile replied. "More to the point, that is why we shall emulate these performers for our act and earn ourselves the most applause when it is time for us to perform. Afterward, we shall reap the rewards and drown in how many new followers we gain!"

"Oh, that is utterly splendid!" Aquamarine cheered and clapped at her master's brilliant idea. "This might be one of your best plans yet, my Rutile!"

"Yes, yes, I am a genius. I'm well aware of that." Black Rutile blushed cutely. "Now then, get to work on preparing our act!"

"So, who are you guys betting on to win this?" Tiger's Eye asked as she sat down in the audience with Desert Glass, Albite, Serpentine, and Beryl. "I'm personally placing my money on Lapis!"

"Ooh, a duet between Amethyst and Jasper." Desert Glass replied with interest. "I wonder how utterly chaotic it will be."

"I'd like to see what Black Rutile has planned." Albite added. "I think I heard she has something big planned!"

"They got a special surprise performance at the end! I want to know who it is!" Beryl cheered excitedly.

"Good evening everyone, and welcome to Little Homeworld Idol." Garnet announced as she stood on stage. "Tonight, we are going to have Gems demonstrate their musical skills to see who is the most talented, judged by a panel of experts. And Marty."

"I've always wondered about the musical talents of extraterrestrials." Willie stated as the first performers took to the stage. "Okay, you two, give us some names. We're wasting daylight here!"

"My name is Amethyst, this is Jasper, and we're gonna sing a little sibling duet!" Amethyst announced while holding out a cane for Jasper to take. "Hit it, sis!"

"Understood." Jasper obeyed before smashing a hole in the stage.

"No, I meant to hit the music, as in turn it on." Amethyst corrected the orange Gem.

"You know, you could've just said "Turn on the music" instead." Jasper replied before she turned on a jazzy, big-band tune. "You know, Amethyst, being so small really gives you a leg up on the world!"

"Oh, you bet, sistah!" Amethyst proclaimed before she started singing while spinning her cane. "A little guy like me can see what others can't see! Yet being so tall makes you want to have a ball!"

"You may be a total shrimp, but you have lots of heart!" Jasper added. "But I'd be nothing if we were apart!"

"The two of us, so different, yet also so alike!" the two quartzes sang harmoniously while forming a kickline. "Someone better call the shop, because we'd like a bike! We want a bike!"

"Yeah, if I could be anything," Amethyst declared. "In this great big world we call home."

"The only thing I wouldn't be is forever alone!" Jasper added. "Alone, alone, alone, alone!"

"Just you and me against the world!" Amethyst kept singing. "Just the two of us, my girl!"

"Big or small, we'd still have it all!" Jasper and Amethyst concluded. "Big or small, we'd still have it all!" The two took a bow, followed by the crowd going wild.

"Hey, you weren't half bad there." Amethyst said to Jasper. "A little rusty, but you really carried this song."

"I made up most of these lyrics on the spot. Bear with me here." Jasper whispered back.

"Okay, I'm not that much into big band stuff, and it seemed a little short," Brock gave his honest thoughts on the song. "but hey, you two seem to be in good harmony, so you have my vote."

"What a touching affirmation of a sibling bond!" Willie sniffled with joy. "Plus, I love the jazz setup too!"

"Indeed, a very original composition." Tristan agreed with Willie. "Though I must admit, I was definitely hoping for me of you together. You make a really good duet."

"Eh, I've seen better sideshow attractions." Marty rolled his eyes in disgust.

"Thank you, thank you! We'll be here all night!" Amethyst laughed. "Hey, if you want more, we'd happily take requests!"

"Okay, Amethyst, that's enough." Pearl grumbled before she dragged Amethyst away with a stage crook.

"Hey, wait up!" Jasper yelled as she raced after Amethyst, causing the audience to laugh.

"And next up on our list of performers, we have Lapis Lazuli coming onto the stage with a powerful number of her own!" Pearl announced to the audience's excitement.

"Hey, didn't she nearly kill hundreds of people?" Marty complained about the round of applause Lapis was receiving as she, Peridot, Laz, Zuli, and a Flower Buddy got up on stage. "Why is everyone cheering for a psychotic murderer?!"

"I'd watch my tone if I were you." Pearl scolded Marty. "Security!" At Pearl's command, Marty's chair was picked up by White Topaz with Marty still sitting in it and tossed into the air.

"I wonder how far he can go." White Topaz mused to herself as Marty was sent flying and screaming into the air, only to fall to the ground with a loud clatter, his chair smashing against his body. "Wow, pretty high up."

"Too bad that didn't kill me." Marty grumbled before Lapis began to speak.

"Hi, everybody. You may know me as Lapis." Lapis introduced herself. "Now, this is a song I've already sung before because I was in a really dark place in life. But now that I finally know where I am in the universe, I think it could use a little rewrite. Peridot, if you please."

"With pleasure." Peridot said as she tapped on her tablet, and it started playing music for Lapis to sing to. "I believe in you, my water witch."

"It all felt to me so lovely, those bluest skies above me." Lapis began singing, with her two fellow Lapides providing backing vocals. "Those funny feelings that I felt once I had met you. I wanted to leave for a while. I didn't want to smile. So many colors I wish that I had known. But now I find myself sitting on that distant shore. I'm no longer alone."

"Dang, she's good." Amethyst complimented Lapis's singing when she saw Jasper shedding a few tears. "Wait, Jasper, are you crying?" she asked the bigger Gem in confusion. "I thought you two didn't get along once upon a time."

"I'm not crying; I'm sweating a watery discharge through my eyes." Jasper lied through her teeth to try hiding how moved she was by how far Lapis had come.

"Then I saw the colors fading, the gentleness of light escaping. Shadows of my fear invading, have I seen this all before?!" Lapis continued her song. "I knew! There was something deep residing, a terror deep inside me. I once understood how you could've been so bold. But now I find myself smiling on that distant shore. I'm no longer alone."

The crowd began going wild as Lapis took a bow, and then Peridot raced up and hugged her, causing the two to fuse into Turquoise. "Thank you, thank you! I'm so happy to be singing for you all today." Turquoise announced. "I couldn't have asked for a more adoring audience."

"Wow, I'm normally not one for being overemotional, but I think I started crying on the inside." Brock proclaimed. "How about you boys?" Rather than giving a proper answer, Willie was so moved to tears that he was crying his eyes out. "Okay, Willie's out for the count. Wheeler, your two cents?"

"Music is often an expression of one's troubled emotions, and Miss Lazuli's number is no different." Tristan analyzed what he had just heard. "You can truly feel how emotionally damaged she once was through song alone, and how she is taking slow but crucial steps in recovering from whatever struggles she suffered in life."

"Couldn't agree more." Willie agreed, finally getting a word between breaks from crying so much. "Bravo Lapis, bravo!"

"Oh please, you're all too kind." Turquoise blushed with delight at all the adoration showered upon her, while Marty sulked his way backstage with a few broken bones after getting crushed by his chair. "Hey, who wants an encore?!"

"Ooh, gonna need to call in a hospital soon." Marty groaned, rubbing his aching neck while spotting Black Rutile preparing for her number in front of a vanity mirror. "Hey, Black Rutile! You're Black Rutile, right?!"

"Yes, that is me." Black Rutile said, turning around to show off her white pop star-inspired outfit. "And you are?"

"It's me, Marty! I chatted with you on Yatter!" Marty introduced himself. "Don't you remember?"

"Ah yes, Morty!" Black Rutile immediately remembered, albeit getting Marty's name wrong, much to his chagrin. "My apologies for not recognizing you; I've just been so busy planning my revenge and researching ways to unleash a being of pure chaos and mayhem unto the world."

"Sorry, what?" Marty quietly answered.

"Nothing." Black Rutile fibbed. "So, what can you offer me? And make it quick; I'm on in five!"

"I only wish to join you in your revenge on the Crystal Gems because I go way back with Steven's family." Marty revealed. "I was once his dad's manager up until he decided to ditch me for that big pink harlot on the beach, and then his son made my son disown me before I was chased out of town because everybody hated my Guacola so much!"

"Wait, Guacola?" Black Rutile asked. "Wasn't that the disgusting drink some moron got sued for after some catering incident? It was all over the news a few months ago!"

"Oh, of course, you'd bring that up." Marty grumbled in embarrassment. "Listen, you're starting that whole movement against the Crystal Gems, right? Well, tell you what, I have some industry friends who'll help you get all the funding you need for whatever you have planned. You with me?" He extended a welcoming hand to the Rutile. "Come on, let's shake on it."

"I like the way you think." Black Rutile smiled eagerly as she shook Marty's hand. "Maybe in exchange, I can help you get back at Steven's old man too."

"Oh, Black Rutile, we're due out on stage!" Holly Blue called for Black Rutile as she, Aquamarine, Eyeball, Cat's Eye, and the Rubies marched onstage in similar outfits to their boss. "Don't keep us waiting by talking to that human!"

"I'll introduce you to my friends here later." Black Rutile stated as she turned around and followed her subordinates to the limelight. "Right now, it's showtime."

"Ladies and Gems, we have a pretty special show for you tonight." Sam Galley announced to the audience, the spotlight shining on him being the only source of light on the stage. "Our next performer believes that this song could possibly change lives. Well, I'll be the judge of that." He gave a light chuckle. "And now, for your listening pleasure, I give you Black Rutile and the Rebels."

As Sam left the spotlight, an electropop started playing as the light began shining on Black Rutile, striking a provocative pose before she began to sing. "I hate all this peace and love; I pray to the stars above. You all thought I was done. No, I'm not; I really hate you!" she began, cuing the Rutile Rebels to start acting as her backup dancers. "I hate your oppression; I'm trapped in depression; my shame is all because of you! You think you're still the good guys?"

Although Black Rutile composed a very well-made song, the audience was slightly unnerved by her message as the chorus began. "I am far smarter and far stronger thanks to the sands of time! I just wanted to reign supreme; why is that a crime? I list everyone I hate, and you're at the front of the line. I'm always plotting, so you should've thought twice!"

"Oh!" the Rutile Rebels yelled.

"Look at what I just did! Look at what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did!" Black Rutile continued, strutting closer to the audience and giving them a domineering glare. "Look at what I just-Ooh, look at what I just did! Look at what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did!"

The second verse soon began, just as ominous and taunting as the last. "I want to see you all squirm, to see everything you love burn." Black Rutile declared. "You punished me for doing what's right, threw me here without letting me fight."

"What?!" Black Rutile's backup singers yelled.

"Homeworld moves on every day without drama, drama! But not for me, because I only want to give you karma!" Black Rutile added, further creeping out her captive audience with her lyrics and gyrating. "And as the universe turns, well, one thing's for sure, I may have got mine, but I'll give you yours!"

Once again, the chorus emphasized how Black Rutile loved boasting about her superiority and how she had the skills and infamy to back up her claims. "I am far smarter and far stronger thanks to the sands of time! I just wanted to reign supreme; why is that a crime? I list everyone I hate, and you're at the front of the line. I'm always plotting, so you should've thought twice!"

"Ooh!" the backup repeated.

"Look at what I just did! Look at what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did! Look at what I just-Ooh, look at what I just did! Look at what I just did!" Black Rutile proclaimed while presenting video footage of her previous exploits. "Take a look and see what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did!"

"I don't trust anybody, but everybody trusts me. I'll play the lead role in your scariest dream. I don't trust anybody, but everybody trusts me. I'll play the lead role in your scariest dream." Black Rutile repeated as part of the bridge. "I don't trust anybody, but everybody trusts me. I'll play the lead role in your scariest dream. I don't trust anybody, but everybody trusts me. I'll play the lead role in your scariest dream!"

"I am far smarter and far stronger thanks to the sands of time! I just wanted to reign supreme, why is that a crime?" Black Rutile sang while the song began to reach its conclusion. "I list everyone I hate, and you're at the front of the line. I'm always plotting, so you should've thought twice!"

"Ooh!" Black Rutile's backup sounded out one last time.

"Look at what I just did! Look at what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did! Look at what I just-"Black Rutile cried. "Ooh, look at what I just did! Look at what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did!"

"I'm sorry, Black Rutile can't come to the phone right now." Black Rutile smirked as the song finished. "Why?"

"Because you're dead!" the other Rutile Rebels added with an evil laugh.

"Should we be concerned about that?" Volleyball whispered to Desert Glass in the audience.

"Worst case scenario, she's plotting to kill us all." Desert Glass replied plainly, freaking everyone out with her dark sense of humor.

"Okay, that is clearly ripping off another song!" Brock exclaimed. "But given what I heard about you, I wouldn't be surprised you'd sing something like this. Still, we got a huge red flag here."

"Oh, this is more than just a red flag!" Willie disagreed with Brock's statement. "We're looking at an electric red flag here!"

"Some compelling and meaningful lyrics, though I have a sinking feeling this might be an excuse to spread propaganda." Tristan commented on the song he had just heard.

"Why yes, that is exactly my point!" Black Rutile announced. "When I first heard that song, I felt so connected to the feelings of revenge and hatred in its lyrics. It just screamed me!"

"Of course, that's why she wanted to perform." White Topaz frowned in disappointment. "But at least she's still a terrific singer."

"That alone is worth listening to her." Jasper agreed with her girlfriend while the Rutile Rebels walked backstage, where Marty awaited them.

"Black Rutile, my buddy!" Marty cheerfully greeted his new Gem friend. "So, how was the performance, bubala?"

"First off, do not call me a bub!" Black Rutile scolded Marty. "Second, I think you might be trivializing some Earth religion for your own benefit. And third, the performance was amazing. I'm so happy to have seen all my hard work get the respect it deserves."

"Wonderful, because I got great news!" Marty exclaimed before presenting a video of Black Rutile's song posted on Yatter that was quickly going viral. "You're an Internet sensation now! And check it out; this #BlackRutileWasRight hashtag is everywhere!"

"Excellent, just as I had planned." Black Rutile sneered evilly while steepling her fingers together. "I simply must find a way to meet all these new followers."

"Trust me, babe. The Internet can allow you to do anything." Marty assured his new business partner. "We'll find a way soon."

The show continued with more Gems stepping up to the stage to perform. Some of the quartzes put on a barbershop quartet, Teal Zircon played an 80s heavy metal song, Nephrite and her crew did opera, Monazite became a one-Gem band, Diaspore sang a romantic duet with Dumortierite, and Snowflake, Bixbite, and Larimar did a standup comedy routine. The show began to close, but there was still one contestant yet to put on their act.

"Well, we surely had fun, everyone, but unfortunately, we'll have to put an end to this soon!" Sam Galley announced, to the disappointment of the audience. "But don't get too unhappy, because our last competitor is sure to impress! Please welcome to the stage, the moment you've all been waiting for, Kunzite!"

While the audience started cheering, the Crystal Gems and the Rutile Rebels all stared blankly at a short blue Gem with a purple gem poking out of her head who wore a bubble-like coat. "I'm sorry," Black Rutile said. "who is this?!"

"I think I remember her." Garnet stated. "She was a corrupted Gem I fought once before putting her in the Burning Room. I may have forgotten her name, though."

"Hi, everybody, my name's Kunzite." The Gem introduced herself. "You may or may not have seen me a lot, but that's because I'm a bit of a shut-in and don't really get out much."

"So that explains why we barely recognize her!" Amethyst declared.

"For my song, I'm just performing a cover of a song I keep hearing on the radio, and I really liked how much the singer sounded like me for some reason," Kunzite explained while picking up a guitar and a radio. "I hope you all enjoy." Setting down the radio and pushing play on some easy-listening music, Kunzite started strumming her guitar as her song began. "Just a little time. Just a little something else instead. Just a little time. Just a little something up ahead."

"Hey, I've heard this before!" Amethyst said, nodding to the beat of the song.

"Are you kidding me right now?" Black Rutile grimaced. "She literally stole my idea!"

"I'm dreaming of being... being... being... Being human..." Kunzite continued singing. "Just a little time. Just a little something that I need. Just a little time. Just a little feeling gaining speed. I'm dreaming of going... going... going... Going somewhere and... Being... being... being... Being human." Kunzite put her guitar down and awkwardly prepared to leave when she stopped playing, only to be stopped by the crowd going wild. "Oh my, you really liked my song that much?!"

"Dang straight, you did the original version justice!" Brock smiled widely. "It's almost like you were her!"

"Agreed!" Willie exclaimed. "So beautiful!"

"I think we might have a winner here." Tristan concurred with the other judges, much to Black Rutile's anger.

"What's impressive?! I've been ripping off a song my whole act!" Black Rutile yelled as she stormed towards the victorious Kunzite and slapped her so hard, Kunzite fell to the ground. "This whole thing was rigged to humiliate me, wasn't it?!"

"Black Rutile, calm down!" Garnet yelled at the Rutile. "Just accept that sometimes, there will always be someone better than you! If it makes you feel better, we'll let you have second place."

"Besides, look at all the attention you've gotten!" Marty added, showing Black Rutile that her followers were still growing by the dozens, which was all she needed now to be satisfied with her work.

"I see. Good enough." Black Rutile's tune changed entirely as she walked off the stage. "Come my thralls; we have much to do!"

"I suppose we shall continue our indoctrination of the masses?" Aquamarine asked evilly while the Rutile Rebels, now joined by Marty, followed their fearless leader.

"Quit reading my mind." Black Rutile responded.

As the Crystal Gems helped take down the stage as the show ended, the judges took some time to exchange some friendly conversations before they went back to their respective celebrity lives. "So boys, up for a few drinks later?" Willie asked Brock and Tristan. "I know of a good place in Dover with such amazing service!"

"Eh, I got time to kill before flying back to Empire City." Brock agreed to the queer fashion model's offer. "Hey, I know we shared this thought earlier, but Black Rutile is definitely all kinds of messed up, right?"

"I believe I've seen her many times before." Tristan stated. "She made headlines for her numerous crimes against humanity and her trial not too long ago."

"We made a good choice not naming her the winner." Brock declared. "Otherwise, she'd have let it go to her head and, I don't know, use it to take over the world or something!"

"Like that will ever happen." Willie laughed. "So, still up for drinks?"

"Yes." Brock and Tristan declared as one before the three judges left Beach City behind.

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 18: De-Clustering

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" the Rutile Rebels laughed uproariously as they sat down to watch an early version of "The Pink Beast of the Bay" sent to them by Marty, and they were in hysterics over the mockery over how Steven's monstrous mental breakdown was depicted.

"I don't see why Pearl refused to participate in this motion picture; this is amazing!" Black Rutile guffawed in delight as she watched the Crystal Gem be an unwilling leading lady and costar to the always overdramatic Christopher Cage. "I haven't had this much fun in ages, not just because of the Steven mockery!"

"Me too!" Aquamarine snickered. "I could watch this over and over again!"

"But didn't that Marty fellow say he needed to return this copy soon?" Holly Blue said as the movie reached the end and the credits began to roll. "Or maybe we could download our own copy of the film." Just then, the Rebels heard a very loud rumbling from outside. "What was that?"

"Oh no, is Teal Zircon getting up to shenanigans again?" Cat's Eye complained while stroking Blake in her arms. "I'm still getting all those bugs out of my hair from last time."

"Uh, guys, I think you need to see this." Eyeball said, looking out the window to find the Diamonds' ship landing near Little Homeworld. "Do you think they're finally coming for us?"

"If so, then finally." Cat's Eye proclaimed. "This is the big one; this is it! Do you hear me, Homeworld, I'm coming for you!"

"Oh, don't be so overdramatic, Cat." Holly Blue rolled her eyes in annoyance. "We should go outside and see what the Diamonds want. Who knows? Maybe they've come to apologize for their unfair treatment of us."

"I highly doubt it." Black Rutile stated as the Rutile Rebels walked outside to find the Crystal Gems talking with Yellow, Blue, and White Diamond. "You there, Gems! What's going on?"

"Oh, Black Rutile, long time no see." White Diamond greeted Black Rutile with a strained smile. "We were just discussing with the Crystal Gems about taking the Cluster apart and giving all the Gems that are a part of it a new lease on life. We feel like it's one of the only things left for us to do to fully atone for our crimes."

"Well, there are still a few crimes against me you refuse to apologize for." Black Rutile muttered.

"Would you like to assist us?" Pearl asked Black Rutile. "We'd like to make this a community effort, so that means you have to join in too."

"Of course I'll help. Just let me confer with my posse for a bit." Black Rutile answered before turning to her minions. "You all see what's happening here, right? We could collect whatever Gems are taken out and convince them to join us! It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!"

"Great idea. We just need to lay low until the time is right; then we can convince them." Aquamarine agreed. "I'd say we should start with three. Anyone else?"

"Yeah, three sounds like a reasonable number." Holly Blue said.

"That song said it's the magic number, after all." Eyeball added before the rebellion turned back to the Diamonds.

"We accept your offer." Black Rutile declared, hiding the fact that she was once again plotting behind everyone's back.

"Excellent." Garnet smiled. "We'll get to work as soon as everyone else hears about this."

Later that day, all of Little Homeworld was working together to take the Cluster apart and put the shattered Gems back together, while ensuring they wouldn't accidentally cause the Gem superweapon to be unleashed and destroy Earth. Carefully, they would remove massive chunks of the Cluster, sort which pieces of Gems went together, and allow Yellow to restore them to normalcy. So far, the process was going rather swimmingly, with numerous Gems being put back together.

"Here, I think I found a Gem." Amethyst said as she handed the broken halves of a gem to Yellow. "Recognize her?"

"Oh, I do!" Blue Diamond replied. "That's Amazonite. She was an illusionist in my court. Her shows were the stuff of legends, and I hope she'd be able to do them again!"

"Yes, I am a fan too, Blue." Yellow grinned before she held the gem pieces together, and electricity coursed through the fractures, making the gem like new before it reformed into a Gem with light blue skin, long & unkempt dark blue hair, green robes, and a blue cape with light blue detailing.

"Where am I?! What is this place?! Where's my Diamond?!" the newly restored Amazonite began panicking upon her restoration as she looked around at her new surroundings. The last thing she saw before being shattered was Gems going to war with each other, and now suddenly they're at peace? The Crystal Gems were standing alongside the Diamonds with presumably no animosity? What was going on here?!

"Welcome to the world, Amazonite." Lapis greeted the illusionist, who leaped back in alarm.

"Uh, do I know you?" Amazonite asked Lapis. "There are just so many Lapis Lazulis; I find it hard to keep track of them. Now can someone please explain to me what's going on here?!"

"I believe I can be of assistance here." Black Rutile proclaimed as she arrived with a broken purple Gem in a bubble. "I just found this Gem. You can handle the rest while I bring her up to speed."

"Oh, is that Tanzanite in there?!" Pearl exclaimed as she took the bubble from Black Rutile and admired it. "It's been centuries since we last saw her! Her sacrifice still weighs heavily on me!"

"And you're only talking about her now." Black Rutile murmured disdainfully. "Okay then." She then took Amazonite by the hand and took her away from the Crystal Gems and the Diamonds to get her caught up on the new status quo of Gem society. "First of all, Amazonite, hello, my name's Black Rutile. Pleased to meet you."

"Ah yes, Black Rutile. I think I've heard of you a few times before." Amazonite replied. "Which reminds me, I remember you having a green visor and white cape. Why the change in attire?"

Black Rutile then sighed heavily before she continued. "These represent the chains placed on me by our corrupt society, after I was wrongfully accused of treason when I tried to fix what Pink Diamond broke beyond repair."

"Wait, Pink Diamond?" Amazonite asked. "Wasn't she shattered by Rose Quartz?"

"Well, not entirely." Black Rutile stated awkwardly.

"Come on." Amazonite ordered with her hands on her hips.

"Okay, the Rebellion was started for a few stupid reasons." Black Rutile continued candidly.

"Just tell me one." Amazonite responded, a single eyebrow raised.

"You see, Rose Quartz was actually Pink Diamond." Black Rutile murmured again.

"She was what?" Amazonite gasped, desperate to know more.

"Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond." Black Rutile reiterated a lot clearer for Amazonite to hear.

"Did you say Rose and Pink Diamond were the same this whole time?!" Amazonite yelled in horror and anger.

"Yes, exactly, excellent listening." Black Rutile nodded.

"Our grand opponent was that forsaken child?!" Amazonite added loudly.

"Yes, and wouldn't you know it? She died and gave birth to the same stain on the universe that forgave the Diamonds for all the horrible things they've done to the galaxy!" Black Rutile proclaimed. "Luckily, a few Gems, including myself, are smart enough to see through Steven Universe's lies and form a resistance against his tyranny. However, we have encountered many serious setbacks and are currently recouping our losses after an attempted alliance with an evil alternate-universe version of him."

"So, allow me to recap here." Amazonite theatrically said. "You, Black Rutile, are fighting back against the current status quo because this Steven person brainwashed the Diamonds into becoming his slaves by forgiving them for their actions, thus allowing them to radically alter our society?"

"That is exactly right." Black Rutile replied. "As I already said, a group of like-minded Gems and I are forming a revolution against Steven and the Crystal Gems, and we've acquired some success in increasing our forces through this Cluster project." She then stuck her hand out to Amazonite. "Would you be willing to join me in my crusade, Amazonite?"

"Are you kidding me?! Yes!" Amazonite eagerly agreed and shook Black Rutile's hand. "No one man should have all that power, the way I see it. Count me in!"

"Excellent! I'll have to introduce you to my subordinates later." Black Rutile smiled. "But right now, I must continue the recruitment process. I've already tricked the Crystal Gems into accepting my help in taking apart the Cluster and have plans for some of them."

Speaking of the Crystal Gems, they were restoring their fallen comrade Tanzanite to normalcy. Once Yellow Diamond gave the broken purple Gem a tap, it was made whole again, and suddenly, a purple-skinned Gem with lavender hair, a purple punk attire, her gem being on her bare stomach, and a purple Crystal Gem star on her crop top.

"P-Pearl, Garnet, Bismuth?" Tanzanite muttered as she slowly opened her eyes to see her old friends alive and well. "I can't believe it; you're all here! We won!"

"Should you tell her, or should I?" Bismuth asked Pearl rather nervously.

"Tell me about what?" Tanzanite asked curiously.

"I think she should tell us who she is!" Amethyst asked. "Like, I never heard of her once, and suddenly Pearl treats her like she's so important!"

"You feeling a little jealous, perhaps?" Peridot snickered at Amethyst's expense, making the smaller purple Gem blush.

"Oh, sorry, guess I should probably explain myself." Tanzanite said as she reminisced on her early days as a member of the Crystal Gems.

Before the Rebellion, Tanzanite was a low-ranking but earnest and peppy assassin who carried out her missions with cold precision and grace. However, despite how well she did at her job, Tanzanite felt like she didn't belong on Homeworld under the Diamonds' grasp. Sometimes, she would often secretly go out to planets soon to be colonized and tour the wildlife there.

Eventually, word got out that a rebellion was being formed by an insurgent Rose Quartz rumored to have shattered Pink Diamond, and Tanzanite joined out of morbid curiosity. However, in doing so, Tanzanite would finally find where she belonged as the rebels known as the Crystal Gems began treating her like family. Pearl especially saw her as a daughter and protégé. Unfortunately, those happy days would soon come to an end.

In one of many decisive battles for the Earth, Tanzanite was eager to stand on the frontlines alongside Pearl and the other leaders of the Crystal Gems to get a taste of what it was like. Unfortunately, that would turn out to be a huge mistake.

"Pearl, back me up here; I'm surrounded!" Tanzanite exclaimed as she fruitlessly tried to fend off a squad of Condor Agates and Onyxes with her epee. "Pearl? Pearl?!"

"Foolish little Tanzanite, your beloved Pearl cannot save you now!" the Onyx confidently stated. "Try and fight us while you still can, but you have no hope here!"

"I know, but it won't hurt for me to try!" Tanzanite bravely said as she charged at one of the Condor Agates and clashed her epee with her longsword.

"Impressive, most impressive." The Condor Agate complimented Tanzanite's tenacity. "I see that Pearl has trained you well."

"Yeah, she really did!" Tanzanite agreed before turning to find Pearl facing off with a Lepidolite not too far away. "Look, Pearl, look!" she yelled for her mentor, unaware of the tall orange figure looming behind her. "I'm fighting this Condor Agate all by myself!"

"Oh, that's amazing, dear, you're growing so much!" Pearl complimented her student before realizing that an Andesine was towering over her, flaming sword ready to strike her down. "Oh no! Tanzanite, behind you!"

"What?" Tanzanite asked as she turned around to discover one of Yellow Diamond's most fearsome sergeants ready to attack. "You can't scare me!" she yelled, pointing her epee at Andesine. "I got the power of Pearl by my side!"

"Is that so?" Andesine grinned evilly while raising her sword. "Let's see that power protect you while it still can."

"Tanzy, no!" Pearl screamed as she charged through legions of Crystal Gem and Homeworld armies in a bid to rescue Tanzanite from harm as she dueled Andesine. "Please, Tanzanite, don't do it!"

"I just need to-" Tanzanite began. Before she could say what was on her mind, she felt something pierce through her back and looked down to discover Andesine's sword going right through her chest and jabbing at her gem.

"Now look what you made me do." Andesine coldly declared while pulling her sword back, allowing Tanzanite one last moment to apologize for her recklessness.

"I'm, I'm so sorry," Tanzanite cried as she felt herself literally falling apart from the surprise attack. "for everything."

"TANZANITE!" Pearl screamed in horror as Tanzanite was shattered right before her eyes while Andesine let out a cruel laugh at the former servant's expense. "You won't get away with this!" she yelled at Andesine with tears in her eyes as Andesine collected Tanzanite's remains. "I will avenge her!"

"You will try." Andesine smiled wickedly before ordering the Condor Agates and Onyxes that once overwhelmed the late Tanzanite to seize Pearl.

In the present day, the now resurrected Tanzanite was given a tour of Little Homeworld by Pearl to give her a taste of what she'll expect as a student of Little Homeschool. Despite Tanzanite's excitement at her surroundings, the Crystal Gems were all left wondering how she should be eased into a particular piece of information.

"And here, you'll find the swimming pool we constructed a few months back." Pearl explained, pointing towards the pool. "If you'd like, they're always holding tryouts for new lifeguards, and we're thinking of starting a water volleyball team."

"Wow, this is so cool." Tanzanite gaped in awe of everything around her while Pearl smiled contently at her old pupil being finally back and loving life as always. However, the rest of the Crystal Gems weren't as delighted to see her since; eventually, they would have to tell her the truth.

"How do we tell her?" Amethyst drearily asked her friends.

"Uh, ask her what?" Jasper replied, not knowing what Amethyst was talking about.

"You know, about how Ose-Ray is Ink-Pay Iamond-Day?" White Topaz replied.

"What are you talking about?" Bismuth tilted her head at what White Topaz had just said.

"I think she's speaking in Pig Latin." Peridot realized. "About, uh, you know, She Who Must Not Be Named."

"Who are you talking about?" Tanzanite asked curiously, but Pearl quickly covered her ears.

"Oh, nothing, just talking about a book series!" Pearl laughed, trying her hardest to lie no matter how hard she tried. "Guys, stop talking about her so much. It's not time yet."

"Not time?" Jasper declared angrily. "She deserves to know what happened after she got shattered, especially what we know about Pink Diamond!"

"Wait, Pink Diamond?" Tanzanite asked, barely hearing what Jasper just said through Pearl's hands. "What do you know about Pink Diamond?"

"The fact that she and Rose Quartz were the same this whole time!" Jasper added, stunning Tanzanite and making the Gems very unhappy with her.

"Nice going, Jasper." Garnet growled at Jasper. "Uh, she didn't mean what she said."

"Did you disguise Rose as Pink Diamond to make the other Diamonds your slaves or something?" Tanzanite asked, feeling slightly betrayed at what she was now learning. "Or has everyone been lying to me this whole time?"

"Why yes, we did use Pink to get what we wanted from the Diamonds!" Amethyst declared. "In fact, our friend Steven is her son!"

"I think we need to explain everything here." Garnet declared as she stepped forward and put a gentle but firm hand on Tanzanite's shoulder. "Tanzanite, it's time you learn the truth."

"So let me get this straight." a stout but curvy Apatite said as she conversed with Amazonite later that day. "Not only was Rose Quartz really Pink Diamond in disguise, but she started an entire war that lasted for thousands of years that cost the lives of millions because she was tired of being mistreated?"

"I know, right?" Amazonite agreed. "It's utterly outrageous how we lost our lives and our remains were forced against our will to become part of an all-powerful geoweapon!"

"Frankly, I never cared to begin with." Apatite replied dryly. "I never cared for the Rebellion, and I never cared for whatever was done to the Diamonds to make them suddenly forget all the horrible things they did for our people."

"Well, good to see you're already taking sides in this conflict." Amazonite stated as she ominously turned away from the construction with her hands folded behind her back. "Which reminds me, would you care to come with me to a little meeting later? I've met a Black Rutile who will have all the answers to our problems."

"Eh, I got nothing better to do today." Apatite agreed to the illusionist's offer with a shrug. "Where are we going to, some kind of club?"

"No, it's not just a club." Amazonite proclaimed. "It's an ideal."

Meanwhile, Tanzanite had been reluctantly brought up to speed on everything that had happened ever since she was shattered in the Rebellion. About the Diamonds' accidental corruption of almost every Gem on Earth, Rose giving birth to Steven, the Crystal Gems' many adventures, all the way up to the Diamonds wanting to change their ways, the beginning of Era 3, and the exploits of Black Rutile.

Tanzanite was left increasingly shocked at what she was hearing throughout this entire explanation. The Diamonds willingly surrendering to the Crystal Gems without putting up much of a fight and making a positive change for themselves & others? This cannot be possible! But one part of her old friends' story affected her more than anything else. The fact that Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond, a leader of the enemy, this whole time, and they've been keeping this from her for centuries.

"So that's what she did?" Tanzanite growled angrily at the Crystal Gems, outraged at not knowing Pink was Rose. "She started a war that killed millions just because she was tired of being ignored, and all of you lied to everyone about it, so I was shattered for nothing?"

"Well, technically, Pearl lied to everyone the whole time." Amethyst pointed out, making Pearl scowl at her. "I mean, we all only learned about this when she finally fessed up!"

"And this was how the Diamonds are allowed to roam free with no consequences?!" Tanzanite added, even more furious than before. "Why was just shattering them out of the question?! How could you possibly forgive such cruel and tyrannical monsters for all their crimes?!"

"Hey now, we didn't really forgive them in the way you're thinking!" Bismuth tried to calm the purple assassin down. "It was either get their help in saving the corrupted Gems or leave them to suffer in agony for all eternity! And thanks to Steven, we had no choice but to do the former."

"Whoever this Steven is, he's just like his mother. Never thinking of the consequences." Tanzanite frowned and prepared to storm off. "Black Rutile was allowed to run amok all because she hated him so much, and the worst punishment you could give her was exiling her to Earth! You couldn't begin to imagine what that will do to you!"

"Tanzanite, wait!" Garnet cried out and grabbed Tanzanite's shoulder. "Please, if you'd let us explain!"

"You've already explained enough." Tanzanite snarled as she broke from Garnet's grasp and ran away, crying in disbelief. After a moment of silence, the Crystal Gems knew precisely who to blame for this.

"Jasper!" Lapis scolded Jasper for her outburst that caused Tanzanite's tantrum.

"I accept full responsibility for this incident." Jasper apologized and got down on one knee. "Whatever punishment you shall give me, I will obey anything you request me to do."

"No, Jasper, it's not your fault." Pearl assured the orange warrior. "We should've told her earlier instead of keeping her in suspense for no reason. You were just being a little too honest."

"So, how long before we can apologize to Tanzanite for lying to her?" White Topaz asked the Gems. "As a fellow soldier who believed that her leader lied to her, I can totally understand what she's going through right now."

As Tanzanite ran far away from Little Homeworld and deep into the woods, she continued sobbing and rethinking everything she stood for as a Crystal Gem. She remembered their creed as it raced through her troubled mind. "Fight for life on the planet Earth. Defend all human beings, even the ones you don't understand. Believe in love that is out of anyone's control. And give everything for it!" Yet now, Tanzanite had no idea what she should give everything for now that she's learned of how insidious the Rose Quartz she once looked up to really was.

"What's even the point anymore?" Tanzanite muttered as she sat down at a tree and buried her face in her knees. "My leader's literally no better than the other Diamonds, and my so-called friends encouraged her for centuries. Who am I without a leader? Without a purpose?"

"Oh, I understand exactly what you're going through." Black Rutile's voice sympathized with Tanzanite's plight as she looked up to discover the voice's owner sitting on a nearby branch. "Hello there, little Tanzanite. Name's Black Rutile. I suppose you heard of me before?"

"You're the one who hated the Crystal Gems and Era 3, aren't you?" Tanzanite murmured as she looked up at Black Rutile, who then got down from the branch to lend a comforting ear. "What do you want?"

"I've been watching you since your tantrum at the Crystal Gems." Black Rutile revealed. "In fact, I was the one who suggested they bring you back to life! So basically, you have me to thank for you being here, and you're welcome."

"Why should I trust you?" Tanzanite asked. "You may have helped me, but why are you here?"

"I followed you because like I said, I understand what you're going through." Black Rutile answered as she put on the charm to rope Tanzanite in with her every word. "I, too, had unwavering faith in my great leader, White Diamond in this case. But then she revealed that she allowed me to get this far in life because she found it funny that a Rutile like me thought she could make it as a high-ranking member of her court. I felt so betrayed when White turned her back on her idea of perfection in favor of becoming Steven's slave, and now she views my entire being as one sick joke! Can you imagine how heartbreaking it was for me?!"

"Yeah, I get that." Tanzanite wiped her tears away before the two stood up.

"And that is why together, we can bring our oppressors to justice!" Black Rutile exclaimed, taking Tanzanite's hands in hers. "Come with me; I have an entire army of Gems who feel as betrayed as we are! Perhaps there, you can find a new family."

"I-I guess I can come with you." Tanzanite replied nervously. Black Rutile just smiled with pride as she took the now-former Crystal Gem out of the forest with her. As they say, a sucker is born every minute, and emotionally distressed suckers made easy pickings for an opportunist like Black Rutile.

Later that day, a small congregation of Black Rutile's allies, both old and new, had gathered at the abandoned warehouse outside of Beach City. The Rutile Rebels stood together onstage, joined by Marty, Sally, and James Brenner. Below them were numerous Gems that Black Rutile had manipulated into joining her, like Topaz, Teal Zircon, Emerald, Morganite, Demantoid, and Pyrope. Also present were the supervillains Francis von Bowling and Rasputina, now restored to their human forms after being previously transformed into an owl and a frog, along with Lennie, Milton, Konstantin, Pavel, and Leo.

"She should be here by now." Marty impatiently said to himself while looking at his watch. "I don't want this whole gathering to be for nothing!"

"As much as it would entertain me to see a straight white man like you feel shame, I have to agree." Sally replied.

"I feel like I don't really belong here." Dr. Brenner nervously proclaimed. "But since Black Rutile has been one of my most interesting cases yet, I still feel obligated to come along."

"Quite an eclectic bunch we have here." Amazonite observed the audience below them. "Black Rutile truly has a way with words if she could convince such dear friends of the Crystal Gems to join her."

"Wait, I thought this was like a book club or something." Teal Zircon said innocently. Lennie responded by knocking Teal to the ground, lying on her side with her feet twisted and arms splayed out behind her back.

Just then, Black Rutile had finally arrived with Tanzanite by her side, and she was eager to introduce her new recruit to the fold. "Sorry to keep you waiting, everyone. I was busy finding a new member to join our collective. Allow me to introduce the former Crystal Gem Tanzanite!"

"Whoa, a Crystal Gem?" Eyeball gasped in shock. "You really convinced one of the enemies to join you!"

"But what about Teal Zircon?" Navy asked, pointing to Teal still lying on the floor.

"What about Teal Zircon?" Eyeball sarcastically repeated. "Pleased to meet you, Tanzanite. It's good to see that a Crystal Gem has finally seen the light."

"Yeah, whatever." Tanzanite sullenly replied. "Just get this over with so I can go home."

"It would be my pleasure." Black Rutile responded before she cleared her throat and began to speak. "CAN YOU COUNT, SUCKERS?!" she yelled. "I SAY THE FUTURE IS OURS! IF YOU CAN COUNT!"

"Of course I can count!" Milton exclaimed proudly. "One, two, three-"

"I don't think that's what she meant, Milton." Lennie said to his larger partner.

"Now look what we have here before us." Black Rutile continued her speech. "Our little legion of doom may seem a little small, but nobody else knows that our numbers are far greater than they think. With the help of some dear friends of mine, this gathering is being live-streamed to my followers across all of social media! I consider that a miracle, and miracles is the way things ought to be."

"I don't know why I forgave Aquamarine if she wanted me to come here." Topaz nervously muttered to herself before she picked up the unconscious Teal Zircon and tried to make a break for it, only to be stopped by Doc and Leggy standing guard at the doors.

"If anyone tries to get out and warn the Crystal Gems, there will be consequences. I'm looking at you, Topaz." Black Rutile threatened the Topaz fusion, which caused Emerald, Morganite, and the Garnets to look nervously at each other. "Now, back on subject, I have been trying for almost a year to exact my revenge on the accursed Crystal Gems for attempting to assimilate me to their fascist ways."

She then pulled the torn page of Rasputina's spellbook from her gem. "When I lost Rasputina's grimoire to the Crystal Gems, I was able to steal this page at the last moment. This is everything I need to know about the being known as Flipso. This is an interdimensional imp of great power over chaos and destruction who was sealed away by an interstellar librarian for crimes against all conceivable reality. However, that didn't stop him from manipulating people throughout the ages so that one day, he could finally be free to turn the universe into his playground. Rasputina?"

"It will be my pleasure, master." Rasputina declared before she surrounded her hands in a dark aura surrounding the page as she began an ancient chant. "Ooh-eeh-ooh-ah-ah, ting tang, walla-walla bing bang!" At the last word, a shadowy figure emerged from the page, letting out a maniacal laugh before yawning loudly.

"Oy! Ten trillion years can give you such a crick in the neck!" the newly emerged Flipso yelled as he stretched like he woke up from a very long nap. "Oh man, I haven't slept this good since I convinced that mustached twit to drop out of art school and pursue politics!"

"Incredible!" Konstantin, Pavel, and Leo gasped in awe.

"Well, well, well, let's have a look at the menagerie here!" Flipso said as he got a good once over of all the Rutile Rebels before coming face to face with Black Rutile. "I suppose you must be the schmuck who released me, huh?"

"I am Black Rutile, yes." Black Rutile tersely introduced herself to Flipso. "Would you explain why your physical body doesn't seem to be how I expected it to be?"

"Oh yeah, that." Flipso realized his current status. "Unless you can find a way for me to return to normal, I'm stuck like this for a while. But that won't stop me from doing this!" With a snap of Flipso's fingers, Konstantin, Pavel, and Leo turned into a talking drinking cup, a large fry, and a wad of meat.

"YOU QUESTION THE WORD OF THE MIGHTY JIMMY?!" Konstantin yelled angrily.

"So he can bend reality to his whims, just as she said." Francis von Bowling observed Flipso's powers as the imp continued showing off for the Rutile Rebels, changing Topaz into a pineapple with her face on it, switching everyone's genders, and unleashing beasts with forms inconceivable to any sane eyes.

"Which means we should keep quiet if we want to survive this." Emerald advised the Garnets and Morganite. "Got it?"

"I don't even want to know what he could turn us into." Morganite added drearily.

"I'm scared!" Demantoid and Pyrope yelled as they held onto each other.

"Okay, that's quite enough out of you, Flipso." Black Rutile commanded, stopping the imp's antics so he could listen. "The reason why I unleashed you is that you play a vital role in my grand revenge on the Crystal Gems. Should you obey my commands, I shall find a way to restore you to your true physical form so you can wreak as much havoc as you please. Do we have a deal?"

"Well, with an offer like that, how could I refuse?" Flipso agreed to Black Rutile's deal as the Rutile Rebels cheered. Some were elated that they finally had an advantage, while others were despairing over what they had done.

Meanwhile, the Crystal Gems gathered at the beach house to tell the Diamonds of their situation regarding Tanzanite. Needless to say, the former supreme rulers of Homeworld were not pleased with what they'd been informed of.

"Oh, this is just perfect. Pink screws us over from beyond the grave yet again." Yellow Diamond complained. "I swear, we should start listing how her death has negatively affected us. In fact, Pearl, put that down."

"Yes, Yellow." Yellow Pearl answered. Even though she was free to act of her own free will now, she still felt the need to serve her Diamond when asked.

"So where has Tanzanite gone now?" Blue Pearl quietly asked.

"We don't know yet, but whatever happens, I hope we can still help her." Garnet replied.

"Frankly, I think it should be about time we shut this whole Pink Diamond debacle down and let her rest in peace already." White Diamond suggested. "She made her bed and laid in it, so we should do the same."

"Well, maybe we could if someone didn't treat Pink so badly!" Bismuth declared accusingly.

"What did you just say, you infernal builder?" Yellow growled angrily at Bismuth.

"Whoa, now everyone, time out!" Spinel cried as she tried to calm the two hot-tempered Gems down.

"Though I don't like Bismuth's tone, she raises a good point." Blue Diamond stated. "Our poor treatment of Pink was but one of many things that convinced her to fake her demise and start the rebellion in the first place."

"That said, it's not like you're any better." Yellow coldly added, much to the Crystal Gems' horror.

"Say that again." Jasper grumbled, ready to attack her former Diamond at any moment.

"Jasper, calm down, dearie." White Topaz urged her partner not to lose her cool. "I'm sure Yellow didn't mean it."

"No, I totally mean what I say!" Yellow exclaimed. "I can count on just one finger how many times lately you've tended to his needs when he needed you the most! Heck, I won't even need a finger!"

"Yellow, please calm down, and let's come to an agreement, okay?" Volleyball suggested, even though she'd rather stay out of this argument altogether.

"Yeah, listen to old One-Eye here and chillax!" Spinel agreed with her Pearl friend.

"Please understand, Steven kept us all in the dark about his trauma because he feared getting us worried!" Pearl begged the Diamonds.

"Well, unfortunately, it could've been avoided if you had come to him first." Yellow proclaimed harshly. "Come along, ladies, we got better things to do."

"I apologize on Yellow's behalf. She's just had enough of this drama." Blue said to the Crystal Gems. "And honestly, I'd have to agree."

"Us too." Garnet agreed somberly as the Diamonds parted ways with the Crystal Gems on rather sour terms. While thankfully, nobody became enemies again, it still made the Crystal Gems wonder about how their actions have negatively affected others. Others like Black Rutile, who was now on the verge of rising to power again with an all-powerful cosmic deity by her side and a new band of Rutile Rebels to aid her in getting revenge on her greatest enemies.

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 19: Fun in the Sun

Summer had finally begun, and right off the bat, it seemed like the hottest day of the year. However, that did not deter Black Rutile as she worked with Rasputina to research the powers of Flipso further, all while Flipso gave some running commentary by reminiscing on his past deeds.

"And the moral of the story is never use a volcano as a barbecue pit." Flipso finished another story of the chaos he created in eons past. "And that was the story of how I accidentally destroyed Pompeii! Those silly Romans didn't know what had happened! I thought I learned my lesson, but then I tried doing it again with Mount St. Helens. Eh, it doesn't matter to me either way; a volcano's a volcano, and a dead body is a dead body."

"I did not expect him to be this casual towards exterminating innocent lives." Rasputina commented on Flipso's comedic levels of apathy towards his sociopathic actions. "I thought he was just going to be a funny, obnoxious trickster."

"Well, appearances can be deceiving." Black Rutile replied. "Now then, it says here that in order to restore Flipso's physical form, only those with the blackest of hearts are considered worthy to receive his godlike powers." This reading from Flipso's page began piquing her interest. "Godlike powers, huh? If I had abilities of that caliber, I could use them to erase Steven from existence and rule unopposed!" Suddenly, there was a loud knocking at the door. "Someone's coming, hide!"

Just as Flipso and Rasputina vanished, White Topaz kicked in the door to Black Rutile's house with urgent news. "Black Rutile, you gotta come outside! The Crystal Gems have a big announcement to make!"

"They're finally outlawing Era 3 because I was right all along, and they're giving me special permission to execute Steven on live television?!" Black Rutile excitedly asked, much to White Topaz's dismay. "Come on, a Gem can dream!"

"No, they got something really fun planned!" White Topaz explained. "Everybody's talking about what to do for summer; you should come and see!"

"But I was busy with something!" Black Rutile whined in dismay as she looked back at her research. "Okay, fine, I'll see what you want to do, but count me out!"

"Yep, count me out." Black Rutile grumbled as the Gems of Little Homeworld gathered around the Warp Pad to hear what the Crystal Gems had to say.

"We're going to the beach, and you're all invited!" Pearl excitedly announced, to the eagerness of everyone around them.

"Spending time with my greatest enemies, the very reason my life is ruined?" Black Rutile frowned. "In your dreams, you putrid fascists!"

"Hey, cut the backtalk already!" Amethyst said to Black Rutie." You've been awfully stressed out lately, so this could be a chance for you to kick back and relax a little!"

"You're the reason I'm so stressed, you idiots!" Black Rutile yelled just as Garnet tried calming her down with a firm shoulder rub. "Stop touching me without my consent!"

"You see, this is what we mean." Garnet calmly advised the Rutile terrorist. "You're under a lot of stress at the moment, and we're looking for ways to help you calm down more. Please, just let us help you for once."

"Yeah, and we'd thought that maybe getting you involved in some relaxing activities could help you out." Lapis agreed with Garnet. "And who knows? Maybe you'll finally see how great Earth can be as well."

"I highly doubt it." Jasper rolled her eyes in response.

"See, she gets me!" Black Rutile agreed with Jasper before she saw Flipso emerge from behind her. "And what do you want?"

"Frankly, I think you should chillax for a bit." Flipso suggested. "Get a little breather from researching yours truly! In fact, how much of your hot brown morning potion have you had lately?"

"A little too much for me to count." Black Rutile replied, even though, at the moment, she was the only one who could see Flipso and make her look like she was talking to herself. Gawking at the sight, Jasper turned to Aquamarine and Holly Blue with a thumb pointed at the Rutile while the two blue Gems just shrugged to try and keep up the illusion.

"Maybe I could use a break now and then." Black Rutile admitted. "Fine, I'll go along with your little trip. But I won't like it!" The other Gems began cheering in delight, much to Black Rutile's annoyance. "I'm not liking it already."

"I can bring you in warm, or I can bring you in cold." Teal Zircon said dramatically as she pointed a water gun straight at Diaspore's face. "Your choice, rebel scum."

"Draw!" Diaspore yelled back while pulling out a water gun of her own to fire at Teal Zircon, starting a playfully intense water-fight between the two. All around the duo, Gems of all shapes and sizes littered the beach, either playing in the sand or enjoying the water. All of them were having the summertime of their lives, all except for one.

"Yes, yes. You all have your fun, you fools." Black Rutile, now dressed in a white rash guard and black shorts, glowered as she sulked on a beach towel under an umbrella. "I'll be hiding away here where no one else can find me plotting."

"Hey, Black Rutile!" Lapis exclaimed, making Black Rutile yelp in surprise before turning to face the blue Gem, who had swapped her usual ensemble for a blue and white one-piece with a white skirt. "Sorry to give you a scare. I just wanted to check up on you."

"Well, I shouldn't be any of your beeswax or whatever they say!" Black Rutile scowled at the terraformer. "Now go away!"

"You know, you could do tons of stuff with us." Lapis said as she pointed towards some of the Gems' activities. "Like surfing, for example."

"WHOO, COWABUNGA!" Zuli shrieked delightfully as she rode the wave in a yellow crop top and shorts.

"Yeah, keep it going!" Laz, dressed in a dark blue one-piece, cheered her bestie on as she recorded the whole thing.

"Volleyball." Lapis continued while Jasper and White Topaz were engaged in a volleyball game against Blue and Yellow Pearl.

"SPIKE!" Yellow Pearl yelled vigorously as she spiked the ball right into Jasper's face.

"Uh, Yellow, I'm pretty sure you're taking this a little too seriously." Blue Pearl meekly said as Jasper got back up from the counterattack.

"She's not taking it seriously enough!" Jasper responded before throwing the ball back.

"Get 'em, darling!" White Topaz said excitedly.

"Sandcastle building." Peridot stood above the beach atop a massive sandcastle and looked down on everyone below her. "KNEEL BEFORE ME, CLODS! FOR I STAND ON HIGH; THEREFORE, I AM FAR TALLER THAN ALL OF YOU!"

"Hey, get off my sandcastle, Peridot!" Morganite yelled at Peridot from the base of the castle. "I worked very hard on this and do not want anyone taking credit!"

"Look, Morganite; I'm making a little home for the crabs!" Volleyball giggled as she dug a little hole in the sandcastle to put some crabs in.

"Don't encourage her, Pearl!" Morganite grumbled angrily.

"Some of them are even breaking watermelons." Demantoid tied a blindfold around Tanzanite before handing her a club and spinning her around.

"Are you sure nobody will get hurt?" Tanzanite asked as she stopped spinning and began walking around the beach searching for the watermelon.

"Just trust us and follow my voice." Pyrope assured the purple Gem. "Now then, step a little to the right. No, my right. No, that's right!" Despite the former aristocrat's orders, Tanzanite didn't seem to pay attention. "Are you even listening to me right now?!"

"Ah, I think this is it!" Tanzanite exclaimed before bonking Apatite on the head with the club.

"Watch where you're pointing that thing." Apatite scolded Tanzanite rather nonchalantly.

"You know, all of those do sound enticing," Black Rutile said. "but I think I'm just content with staying here for right now. Now shoo, shoo!"

"Okay, your loss." Lapis said before she flew away, just as Flipso magically appeared beside Black Rutile in a deck chair of his own, wearing a red floral-pattern Hawaiian shirt and drinking out of a coconut.

"Aloha, chum!" Flipso greeted Black Rutile. "Heard you guys were headed for the beach. Frankly, I can see why because, lord almighty, I can feel the temperature rising!" He emphasized his point by summoning a thermometer that immediately burst from the heat. "So, anything you want to do together, Cherie?"

"Not interested." Black Rutile turned down Flipso's offer, much to his dismay, as she turned on her tablet to talk with Sally Grove.

"Aw, you're no fun!" Flipso whined like a petulant child. "I thought you would be the black heart that I needed to get outta this joint, but instead, you're all about rules and control and such! That just ain't my thing!"

"Shut up, I'm talking here!" Black Rutile shushed Flipso before talking with Sally. "Hello, Sally. How are you dealing with this heatwave?"

"I'm doing well. It won't stop me from making videos." Sally replied. "I got some new ones on the pipeline this summer, like 'Bisexual People are Just Straight People with Extra Steps,' 'Eduardo Suarez is a Bad President,' and one I think you'd love, 'Steven Universe is a Garbage Person and Here's Why.'"

"Send me the script for that last one!" Black Rutile suggested eagerly while Flipso impatiently waited to be paid attention to again.

"Oy devout, this beach day became such a bore!" Flipso moaned in disappointment just as he got an awful idea. "How about we liven up the joint a bit?" With a sinister cackle, he clapped his hands to make some mischief come to life.

"So, what do you think we should do for group activities next, girls?" Pearl asked the other Crystal Gems while adjusting her sunhat. "Maybe an art show or a sports competition?"

"Oh, I'd love the first one!" Peridot eagerly kicked her legs at the idea. "I just need someone to help me out with a meep morp!"

"You know, I never quite got why you call art that word." Bismuth stated. "I mean, why not call it what it is?"

"It's called having a sense of humor, Bismuth, doy!" Lapis replied frustratedly when they all heard a loud rumbling sound. "What was that?"

"Uh, guys. I think you're gonna need to see this." Amethyst said as a giant crab monster emerged from the ocean, spooking everyone on the beach while a white pony fighting it with a sword fell off the creature's back and into the portal where they came from.

"That crab is making me really scared!" Teal Zircon yelled in fright as she tightly held onto Beryl. "But also really hungry!"

"What are we gonna do?!" Beryl added just as the Crystal Gems sprang into action. "Hooray, here they come to save the day!"

"Amethyst, get everyone to safety! Pearl, find a potential weak point!" Garnet began giving orders. "Lapis, Peridot, Bismuth, Jasper, and White Topaz are all with me!"

"Aye, aye, captain!" White Topaz gave a hearty salute before whipping her brass knuckle gauntlet to punch at the crab's leg. "How do you like that, Sebastian?! You must be really hoping to get back down where it's wetter, huh?!"

"What is going on here?!" Holly Blue yelled as she, Cat's Eye, Aquamarine, and the Rubies watched the other Gems fight the crab monster, all while Black Rutile and Flipso sat back with some popcorn and drinks.

"Wherever that thing came from, keep it as far away from my bikini as possible!" Cat's Eye meowed while showing off her athletic body in a bright orange two-piece. "I wouldn't dare have that thing slobber all over me and pinch me to pieces!"

"Is this your friend's doing?" Aquamarine asked, pointing to a relaxing Flipso.

"Wassup?" Flipso smiled while throwing up a peace sign. "I just felt like livening up the joint since someone would rather not pay attention to me!"

"So that's it, you just want attention?" Eyeball responded to the chaos god's announcement. "Well, I can see why that librarian kept you locked up for so long."

"Ah, hush up, this is gonna get good!" Flipso replied with a mouthful of popcorn as he watched the Gems gain the upper hand on the crab beast.

"Lapides, now!" Jasper commanded Lapis, Laz, and Zuli to restrain the massive crustacean with water chains. "Larimar, make sure she doesn't try and break out!"

"What can I do?" Desert Glass asked Jasper.

"I don't know, bury this thing or something!" Jasper yelled. As the Lapides and Larimar used their water and ice powers to keep the crab from moving, Desert Glass commanded the sand beneath her sandal-clad feet to slowly sink the crab into the ground before burying it beneath, making sure that it wouldn't break out and hurt anyone again. "It is over, finished."

"Wow, these Gems sure got a lot of moxie!" Flipso applauded Desert Glass's efforts as the other Gems cheered in celebration. "But, still, that was a little anticlimactic. I mean, what's stopping that thing from breaking out? We just gonna shove it into the sea or something?"

"Let's not bother ourselves for now." Black Rutile replied. "But right now, I think we could put your powers to good use."

Once the crab was dealt with, everything returned to normal as the Gems returned to their beach activities. Well, as normal as a beach day, being haunted by a chaotic spirit can get, anyways. Flipso haunted everyone's shadows, ogling some of the Gems in their swimsuits as he brainstormed ideas for his next plot.

"Hm, I have to say, these Gem babes don't look half bad." Flipso mused to himself. "But I wonder if they even talked about who was hotter? Ooh, delightfully devilish, Flipso! Yer old papa Jestrix would be proud!" With a snap of his fingers, Flipso brought forth a strange pink blob-like creature with a very dopey voice. "Hey, Spirit of Competition, my man! Glad you could come!"

"Uh, what do you need me for, Flipso?" the Spirit of Competition asked Flipso.

"Well, I gotta ask two things. First," Flipso summoned a crowbar and began beating the Spirit senseless with it. "WHERE'S MY MONEY, YOU STUPID WAD OF GUM?! YOU WANT ME TO START A HOTLINE FOR PEOPLE TO VOTE ON WHETHER I CAN KILL YOU OR NOT?!"

"I promise I'll get your money; just please leave me alone!" the Spirit of Competition wailed. "What else did you need me for?!"

"Glad you asked, sonny!" Flipso smiled before presenting the Spirit with all the beautiful women around them. "Behold, some very gorgeous gals! Just look at them, by gummity!"

"Yeah, they're hot!" the Spirit drooled amorously. "What do you want me to do?"

"Listen, I got a friend who needs to have the heat taken off her, and I summoned you to help distract these babes." Flipso stated. "Think you're up to the challenge? I'll give you some free mortal food out of this."

"Ooh yeah, I love making people challenge each other!" the Spirit of Competition exclaimed happily. "And I think I know just the thing to do!" With a determined look on its face, the Spirit leaped towards Emerald and began assimilating itself into her body to control her mind for a bit.

"Maybe you're right." Emerald admitted to Amazonite. "Maybe there is a good-minton." Then the Spirit began taking over her body, symbolized by her eyes turning a dark shade of pink and her gem taking on a slight pinkish glow. "But you know what else is good? This body!" She stood up and forced Amazonite to admire her muscles in her lime green bikini. "Look at this perfectly sculpted form! Gaze upon it, I say!"

"Emerald, are you okay?" Amazonite asked as she slowly backed away from the suddenly changed ex-pilot. "You seem a lot more overconfident than usual."

"Oh please, you're getting too cocky, Emerald." Pyrope challenged Emerald while flaunting her body in her tight pink one-piece. "I got soft curves for days here!"

"Geez, are we really starting a contest here?" Apatite smirked before showing off her red swimsuit. "Because we all know who the winner is here. That's right, ol' Shortstack herself!"

"Well, why don't we make it a contest?!" Albite exclaimed. "Most attractive Gem on the beach shall win…..uh….." She began thinking about what the prize should be. "I don't know, the undying respect and admiration of her opponents?"

"YEAH!" Tanzanite loudly agreed, followed by the other Gems, while the Crystal Gems watched gobsmacked at what was going on, and Black Rutile's smile widened with intrigue.

"So this is his idea of fun, exploiting beautiful women?" Black Rutile purred curiously. "His powers just get curiouser and curiouser."

As the beauty contest began with Zuli, Pyrope, Emerald, Garnet, Desert Glass, Apatite, Blue Pearl, and Cat's Eye as contestants, with Amethyst, Teal Zircon, and Yellow Pearl as judges, this gave Black Rutile the perfect opportunity to conduct her research in private while everyone was distracted.

"Rasputina, get over here!" Black Rutile called for the sorceress, who appeared before her dressed in a black bandeau bikini with a matching sunhat and sunglasses. "You've been waiting to join us on the beach, have you?"

"What gave it away?" Rasputina nonchalantly asked before sitting down next to Black Rutile. "What have you gathered on Flipso so far?"

"It seems that at the moment, Flipso can only conjure things into existence with a snap of his fingers." Black Rutile analyzed. "But if he were to restore his physical form, his abilities could cause the breakdown of all reality as we know it!"

"Exactly!" Flipso replied. "Also, how you doin'? Care for a little candlelight dinner later?"

"Get bent." Rasputina snarked at the god before looking at Black Rutile surfing Yatter. "So what's this supposed to be?"

"Some kind of right-wing human that Sally led me to." Black Rutile said. "Some guy named Reginald Johnson who leads an anti-Crystal Gem white supremacist group because he thinks they're 'toxic feminists' who will lead to humankind's destruction. Take a look at this." She clicked on a video of a stereotypical Southerner in a ten-gallon hat, a wifebeater covered in bandoliers, and a bushy beard sitting at a desk.

"Now you may be wondering, how could I hate a group of people I've never met who probably don't know I exist?!" Reginald Johnson ranted on the video. "Well, I don't like what they're putting in the Earth that turns the freaking rocks gay! Do you understand that?! They're no better than those mentally ill preschoolers who think they're fighting climate change or everyone who says I can't have a crush on this fictional candy mascot!"

As Reginald continued, Black Rutile, Flipso, and Rasputina were just about to start laughing. "Well then, whose bright idea was it to depict the candy as a beautiful woman, huh?! The world is a cruel parent but an effective teacher too. Its final lesson is carved deep into our psyches: that the world, and all its people, are diseased! Free will is a joke because we'll all soon become nothing more than mindless puppets for the minorities of this world!"

"Okay, I think that's enough racism for today." Flipso muttered before shutting off the video. "This guy has potential! It's a wonder that Sally babe has so much interest in him; they're almost alike!"

"That's not untrue." Rasputina nodded in reply. "They are both openly prejudiced against the norm, but Reginald is a stereotypical right-winger while Sally is just an opinionated cynic."

"Okay, this is becoming a little unorthodox." Pearl commented as she watched the beauty contest continue. "First the crab monster, and now this? What's the meaning of this?"

"Shall we get to the bottom of this?" Peridot suggested. "I think Black Rutile might have something to do with everything happening today."

"I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case." Pearl agreed. "Hello, Black Rutile? Can you come over here, please?"

"Oh no, they're onto us!" Flipso animatedly chattered his teeth in fright. "What do we do? What do we do?!"

"You're the reality-warping horror beyond man's comprehension; you do something!" Black Rutile exclaimed, shaking the creature by its shoulders and forcing him away.

"Okay, if I were a Gem, what could possibly distract me?" Flipso began thinking of another plan while looking towards the Spirit of Competition, still attaching itself to Emerald like a symbiote. "Hey, Compy! Give me a lift here!"

"Sorry, I'm in the middle of something. Be there in a bit!" the Spirit of Competition said before making Emerald strike some model poses for the audience. "Whoo, work it, baby!"

"Well, looks like I'm in a rut here." Flipso proclaimed in defeat when he noticed Pearl making her way through the contestants searching for Black Rutile. "Indiana Jones, I hope you're watching!"

With a snap of Flipso's fingers, the judges turned their gaze to Pearl and made their decision. "And the winner is Pearl!" Amethyst exclaimed. "Wait, what?"

"I'm the winner?" Pearl gasped in shock just as Black Rutile scurried away.

"She's the winner, I guess." Yellow Pearl added.

"More like I'm the winner!" Flipso laughed victoriously as everyone slowly agreed that Pearl was a last-minute shoo-in.

"I mean, Pearl certainly is very cute." Blue Pearl realized, making the other Pearl blush. "She deserved to win."

"I'll allow it!" Emerald remarked in defeat before walking away.

"Congratulations, Pearl." Garnet said while giving Pearl a hearty pat on the shoulder. "I didn't know you had it in you."

"I swear, Black Rutile is up to something, and this contest was a part of it!" Pearl exclaimed.

"Pearl, Black Rutile is up to a lot of things." Bismuth replied. "You need to be more specific."

Soon, the sun began to set on Beach City, meaning it was almost time for everyone to go home. However, everybody was hesitant to leave so soon, so to counter this, Garnet got the idea of starting a bonfire to end the day.

"There, nice and toasty." Garnet said as the Gems gathered around the fire.

"Yes, this isn't half bad." Morganite agreed with Garnet while putting her hands out towards the flame. "It's just nice to have some time to relax once in a while."

"So, anything else we should do before we leave?" Snowflake Obsidian asked.

"Ooh, let's tell each other scary stories!" Bixbite suggested.

"Been there, done that." Dumortierite said.

"Anyone else got an idea?" Tiger's Eye added.

"I feel like roasting the heart, lungs, and liver of a sheep boiled in its own stomach over the fire." Teal stated, much to the disgust of everyone else.

"Delicious!" Larimar agreed with Teal, grossing everybody out even more.

"Weirdos." Squaridot muttered.

"We could sing songs together." Topaz made her own suggestion.

"Great idea Topaz and I know just the one!" Pearl exclaimed before she pulled Steven's ukulele from her gem and started to play. "Isn't this such a beautiful night? Whoa, we're underneath a thousand shining stars. Isn't it nice to find yourself somewhere different? Whoa, why don't you let yourself just be wherever you are?"

Black Rutile rolled her eyes not too far from the bonfire as the song continued. "Look at this place; look at your faces. I've never seen you look like this before. Isn't it nice to find yourself somewhere different? Whoa, why don't you let yourself just be wherever you are?"

"Aw, look at the adorable mom friend." Flipso smirked at Pearl's performance while the Gems began clapping along. "Too bad I'm gonna have to obliterate her soon."

"You got that right." Black Rutile proclaimed.

"Look at this place; look at your faces. They're shining like a thousand shining stars. Isn't it nice to find yourself somewhere different? Whoa, why don't you let yourself just be wherever you are?" Pearl continued singing into the night. "Why don't you let yourself just be somewhere different? Whoa, why don't you let yourself just be whoever you are?"

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 20: Famethyst Reunion

"Okay, class, now that we've reviewed proper pressure point techniques, I'd like one of you to come up and demonstrate what you've learned," Jasper said to her self-defense class one summer day in Little Homeworld. "Who would like to go first?"

"I do, I do!" Cherry Quartz eagerly said while raising her hand. "I've been listening the whole time!"

"Ah, Cherry Quartz, good to see such an attentive student." Jasper grinned at the spotted quartz as she walked up to Holly Blue. "Now then, remember what I have taught you and go from there."

"Okay, Cherry, remember what Jasper taught you." Cherry repeated to herself while examining the Agate turned unwilling training dummy, who was already sweating in terror and breathing shakily.

"Please go easy on me." Holly Blue whimpered pathetically before Cherry struck her in the chest, the knees, the eyes, and between her legs in short order. When Cherry decided to finish her off with a neck pinch, Holly had been the reluctant teaching assistant long enough to know something was wrong. "What are you doing?!"

"I'm giving you a neck pinch, just like Jasper taught us," Cherry replied innocently.

"No, no, no, stupid, you've got it much too high." Holly corrected while pointing to where her neck should be pinched. "It should be down here, where the shoulder meets the neck."

"Like this?" Cherry asked as she followed Holly's instructions.

"Precisely," Holly replied before she collapsed from the damage taken to her form. "Oh, someone just poof me now."

"I'm surprised you didn't after taking that many hits," Jasper observed the collapsed Agate before turning back to her class. "Okay, everyone, next time I'll teach you how to poof a Gem with just a few hits! That's all; now get out of here!" As the class began to leave, Jasper turned back to Holly Blue. "And that goes for you too. The thought of seeing you lie there makes me sick."

"No, you make me sick," Holly grumbled as she got up and trudged away from Jasper. "I hate everything about this planet so much."

"And you know what was worst about today?!" Holly Blue complained to Black Rutile as soon as she got home to vent her frustrations, even though she was hardly paying attention and was more focused on looking at Yatter on her computer while sipping some coffee. "Cherry didn't even get the neck pinch right, so I had to remind her how to do it!"

"Yes, yes, boo-hoo-hoo, woe is me and such." Black Rutile replied coldly. "I guess that's what happens when you've been abusing Quartz gems for thousands of years just because the Diamonds told you to."

"Yeah, I have to agree with Rooty on this one." Flipso agreed with his Gem partner while Black Rutile gave him a confused look for the nickname she was given. "I mean, were you always like this, or did you get so far up your big blue butt that you stopped caring for anyone else but yourself and your status?"

"What are you trying to do? Get my life story?" Holly Blue asked confusedly and tried to walk away, only to turn around and discover Flipso giving her puppy dog eyes. "Ah well, since you seem so insistent, I'll tell."

When Holly Blue first emerged in the Kindergarten from when she was created on the planet Glados, she was given one purpose alone. To train Homeworld's Quartz soldiers to be perfect warriors, no matter how rough she may be. However, Holly was a bit tougher on the Quartzes she taught than expected; the Diamonds believed it was a necessary evil to create the soldiers they wanted for battle.

Eventually, when Pink Diamond was shattered and her human zoo was left without someone to watch over it and the Amethysts, Jaspers, Carnelians, and other Quartzes within, Blue Diamond needed someone to keep them all in line so they don't slack off on watching over the humans they kept prisoner. So naturally, she selected Holly Blue Agate for the job.

"I promise you, your grand clarity, I will not fail you!" Holly Blue eagerly declared, starting a career that would define her for the next couple thousand years. However, everything changed once the Crystal Gems infiltrated the zoo, and they ruined her life within just a few short hours. Because she was more focused on the Sapphire among them to notice that the Pearl didn't bother hiding the star on her chest, the Crystal Gems played her for a complete fool. They made their escape with the latest human prisoner while she was left to become a plaything of the quartzes, or the Famethyst, as the minuscule Amethyst called them.

Era 3 made things worse as not only did Steven convince everyone that Pink Diamond was his mother, he conned the entire Gem race into abandoning the caste system altogether, leaving Holly without anybody to take orders from as the Famethyst continued bullying her with no repercussions.

"I have to get out of here and fast!" Holly Blue panted harshly as she hid from some boisterous Amethysts in the containment area of the zoo. "Curse that Steven! He took advantage of my loyalty and played me like a total idiot! Now I have nothing else except for those off-color Gems always picking on me."

"Hey, Holly, you still want to play tag with us?" Carnelian giggled as she and her skinny Jasper friend searched the containment area for Holly Blue. "Come on; we'll let you be it!"

"Eh, I say we let her run." The skinny Jasper responded coolly, unaware that a shadow with half-shaven hair was looming before her. "Makes it more exciting that way." Just then, she felt someone tap her on the shoulder, and she turned around. "Uh, can I help you? How did you get here?"

"You left the door open." Zoisite coldly answered before socking Skinny Jasper in the face, knocking her out cold. "I had to fight through dozens of your friends to reach my target."

"Hey, what's the big idea?!" Carnelian yelled as Zoisite pulled a destabilizer from her gem to stab Carnelian with, the intense electric shocks making the little red Gem shriek in agony before her physical form gave out and escaped to her gem.

"The big idea is that I'm looking for someone," Zoisite replied before she began calling out to Holly. "Come on out, Holly Blue Agate, you're safe now!"

"What, who said that?" Holly Blue asked meekly while peeking out of some bushes. "Zoisite, is that you? Where have you been all this time?"

"Oh, you know, fighting Gem criminals before a certain someone changed everything." Zoisite proclaimed. "That is why I came here and took down all those off-colors. I have a friend who is demanding that you come with me, and she won't take no for an answer."

"Now, just a second, Zoisite." Holly Blue stated. "You can't just barge in here, take down all these unruly Gems and expect me to do as you say! As much as I love taking orders, I refuse to listen to a mere assassin!"

"Well, you should because this assassin is your only chance at returning to your old life!" Zoisite began arguing with Holly Blue when she heard her communicator going off. "One second, I have to take this." She muttered before pulling out her communicator to talk to her partner Dalmatian Jasper on the other end. "Hello?"

"Zoisite, I got another Ruby and an Aquamarine." Dalmatian Jasper declared on her end of the call. "How are things on your end?"

"Not great," Zoisite replied glumly. "This Holly Blue is really grating on my nerves."

"You take that back!" Holly Blue yelled, starting another argument while Dalmatian Jasper kept watching.

"I can still hear their laughter when I close my eyes." Holly Blue whispered in terror. "Their insults, their cheering, the breaking of valuables. The horror, the horror."

"You can have PTSD in front of me later; I'm working here." Black Rutile said while reading from her psychology book. "Or maybe you're just being overdramatic because you refuse to accept change."

"Says you!" Holly Blue yelled back at Black Rutile. "You nearly destroyed the Earth because you refused to accept change!"

"Yes, but I believed that Steven would be a detriment to our society, that he was no better than Pink Diamond!" Black Rutile argued. "My utter Brobdingnagian hatred for Pink and how she wanted everything her way extended to her wretched spawn and how he actually succeeded in making everything his way!" Just then, a loud rumbling came from outside, followed by casting a large shadow over the Rutile Rebels' house. "What was that?"

"Either my mother-in-law is coming, or we're due for a plot development." Flipso answered as Black Rutile and Holly Blue looked out their window to discover the human zoo descending towards Earth. "I'll have you know; my mother-in-law is one of the most dangerous beings in the omniverse. Rumor has it she once made the One Above All cry."

"No, not them, anyone but them!" Holly Blue shrieked in terror and began breathing rapidly while reliving traumatic memories of losing everything because of Steven. "Why did they have to come back?!"

"What is happening here?!" Cat's Eye yelled as she, her cat Blake, Aquamarine, and the Rubies stepped into the living room to see Holly Blue curled up into a ball, having a panic attack. "And what's up with Holly?"

"No need to alarm everyone; she's just having a panic attack." Black Rutile assured her subordinates while looking through her psychology book again, even though Holly Blue was too shaken to hear her. "We'll just need to give her some space until she recovers."

"Wow, what a realistic portrayal of a panic attack; someone calls the film buffs on Yatter!" Flipso laughed as Holly Blue continued panting sharply and grabbed at her chest. She couldn't deal with them again or even think of them again. Nonetheless, it was the fate she was forced into the moment she was banished to Little Homeschool.

"Hey, I think she's coming back!" Aquamarine exclaimed as Holly Blue's panic attack subsided, and she was helped to her feet by Cat's Eye.

"So what was that all about?" Cat asked a panting Holly.

"My apologies, just some bad memories of my first encounter with Steven," Holly stated while hugging Cat's Eye tight. "Please don't ever abuse me like those rowdy Amethysts did, promise?"

"Well, look who's talking?" Flipso sneered at the touching scene before him. "We all know you're just making stuff up as you go along to make people feel sorry for you. Like my distant cousin, for example, they're like a child of the stars who claimed not to know diddly squat about death even though he gave a fascist Puritan dictator the means to commit magical genocide!"

"I'm not even going to bother comprehending what you're talking about." Black Rutile muttered in annoyance as she walked outside to see the Crystal Gems helping a large group of humans out of the zoo. "Wait, are those the zoo humans? What are they doing here?"

"Oh, is this that Black Rutile we keep hearing about?" one of them, a curvy blonde with green eyes, asked as she got awkwardly close to Black Rutile. "Hello there, my name is Jay-Ten; it is nice to meet you."

"Charmed, I'm sure." Black Rutile nervously greeted Jay-Ten with a handshake. "Now, can anyone care to tell me what is going on right now?"

"As part of atoning for their atrocities, the Diamonds have decided now is the time to dismantle the human zoo and relocate everyone in it to Earth," Garnet answered. "So we implore you and your friends to be on your best behavior, Black Rutile."

"Eh, behave this, you guys!" Amethyst cried as she turned to face her fellow Amethysts emerging from the ship. "Yo, Famethyst, welcome to Earth!"

"8XM!" the massive array of Amethysts, Jaspers, and one Carnelian yelled in delight as they began stampeding towards Amethyst, while Holly Blue could only stand and watch as her worst nightmares were now here on the same planet as her. The only thing she could do was collapse from shock.

"Amethyst, it's been ages!" Carnelian shrieked while grabbing Amethyst and spinning her around. "How has Little Homeworld been?"

"Been doing great lately." Amethyst laughed happily. "I am so glad you guys are going to stay here; we got so much on Earth to show you."

"So, you must be Jasper, eh?" Skinny Jasper said to Jasper. "Have to say, I guess the stories about you were true."

"A defective Jasper, huh?" Jasper nodded to her defective, skinnier counterpart while the other Quartzes of Little Homeworld were reintroduced to the Famethyst. "Never would I see the day."

"Hey, Holly Blue!" one of the Amethysts shouted to the passed-out Agate. "Something the matter?"

"Oh, don't mind her; she's just too traumatized to interact with you." Black Rutile said while picking up Holly Blue and shaking her awake. "WAKE UP, YOU WORTHLESS DRAMA QUEEN! DON'T YOU DARE HAVE A MOMENT OF CLARITY THAT WILL CONVINCE YOU TO CHANGE YOUR WAYS ON MY WATCH, YOU HEAR ME?!"

"Give her a bit. She'll come to." Chest Rose answered relaxedly. "Oh hey Pearl, long time no see, babe."

"Ehehehehe, hello Rose Quartzes." Pearl laughed nervously, pulling at her shirt collar while surrounded by the three Rose Quartzes who accompanied her, Steven, and Volleyball to the Reef, along with dozens of others. "It's a pleasure meeting you all again."

"Well, if all these Quartz Gems want to know more about Earth and Little Homeworld, then it's only logical that a Quartz shall give them the tour." Peridot stated. "Any volunteers?"

"I'll do it!" Cherry Quartz accepted the proposition. "I call dibs!"

"Hey, I saw them first!" Tiger's Eye added competitively, followed by Blue Lace & Crazy Lace Agate, Ocean, Zebra & Biggs Jasper, Lace Amethyst, Angel Aura Quartz, and Flint & Chert crowding around Cherry.

"Good to see you're all so eager," Lapis responded as the human zoo Quartzes all gathered around the Little Homeworld Quartzes, and they began showing them around Little Homeworld. "Now then, while Cherry and Tiger's Eye is giving them the tour, let's try and get these humans situated here."

"Just as long as Ga-Reg doesn't show his face and refuse to choose us again!" Wy-Six added sourly.

"You know, we should start thinking of expanding the place soon." Bismuth pointed out. "I mean, with this many Gems excited to move in, I'm not sure if Little Homeworld can fit all of them without having to move some out."

"Uh uh, no, thank you!" Holly objected to the notion. "Only a few Quartzes causing trouble is enough; imagine how much chaos even more of them could cause!" Unfortunately, nobody was listening to her, much to Holly's anger as she growled and stomped away.

"Hehehe, look at him go!" Flipso chuckled as he played a video game about running cookies. "Go, little Earth snack, run from that witch!"

"You there, jester!" Holly Blue yelled as she barged in on Flipso's gaming session, interrupting the chaos god's train of thought and giving him a game over. "Help me with my problems, now!"

"I was in the middle of something, lady!" Flipso complained as he switched off his game and stomped up to Holly Blue. "What do you want?!"

"I require your assistance because I'm currently facing a crisis." Holly Blue answered. "These Amethysts that have menaced me in my time as overseer of the human zoo are moving to Earth, and they're sure to make my life a living nightmare once again. Are there any spells you have that could just poof them away?"

"Oh no, sistah, I may be a psychopathic wielder of all-powerful chaos energy, but I got a specific set of rules I made for myself to follow!" Flipso stated as he presented a large purple book with 'DA RULES' written on the front and opened it to read its contents. "Rule #24601, my powers are not to be exploited for petty gain. Any attempts at that will result in me stabbing whichever schmuck tries to do it in the back and possibly preventing them from ever existing. Depends on my mood, though, so consider yourself lucky."

"Wait for a second; you have a set of rules?" Holly asked, trying not to laugh at such a concept. "Since when?"

"I've been causing chaos for so long; even I keep forgetting." Flipso remarked while putting the book away. "Which reminds me, would you care to hear how my powers have influenced human history? I once destroyed Pompeii after using Mount Vesuvius as a barbecue pit. There was also a little game of pigskin with the boys where someone threw the football a little too hard, and that became the meteor that killed the dinosaurs. Ooh, I also once caused that earthquake in east Japan followed by that tsunami because I was in the bathroom after eating some bad taquitos. And I also once had a cold, and I sneezed on some rats who started spreading the Black Plague. Also, do you want to know why Pluto is no longer considered a planet? That was me!"

Holly Blue could only stare in shock at the audacity of this being as he cheerfully reminisced on the death and destruction that he played a part in over the centuries. This was different from what the Diamonds formerly did because it was their duty; this creature acted like this was a hobby he indulged in every day. No wonder Black Rutile wanted to free him; he was just as ambivalent towards the safety of others as she was!

"So, let me get this straight, Crystal Gems." Mayor Nanafua Pizza said to the Crystal Gems in her office. "These humans are from a space zoo owned by the Diamonds, but now they want nothing to do with the zoo anymore and have handed their humans over to you."

"Yes, that is exactly what we're doing here; we wish to have the Zoomans officially recognized as citizens so they can start a new life here, free from captivity." Pearl nodded before finding Wy-Six trying to eat a book off the shelf. "Hey, that's not food!"

"Then why does it look so delicious?" Wy-Six innocently asked as Pearl cleaned up the drool-covered book and returned it to the shelf.

"Some things just aren't meant to be eaten," Pearl advised Wy-Six. "Unless you're Amethyst. She once ate a cloud and became inflated like a balloon."

"I got hit by an airplane!" Amethyst laughed while remembering that event.

"Well, do they have any birth certificates we can find?" Nanafua asked.

"Not that we know of," Garnet replied. "As far as we know, the Zoomans are all descendants of the humans that were brought to the zoo, and no other human has been captured for millennia before Greg."

"Hey Gems, heard you guys were doing something about that crazy zoo up in space." Greg declared as he stepped into the mayor's office as if someone made him appear by saying his name three times. "You know, I'd be more than happy to help; you just need to say the-"

"Look, everyone; it is Ga-Reg!" one of the Zoomans yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Greg, who was left wide-eyed in shock at seeing them again. "You should know we refuse to forgive you for rejecting us!"

"Look, I said I was flattered that you wanted to choose me or whatever, but I just wasn't feeling it!" Greg nervously laughed. "Maybe we could start over?"

"Get him!" another Zooman commanded, making Greg run for his life from the stampeding Zoomans as they began chasing him across Beach City.

"I think someone has a ton of explaining to do." Jasper growled as she, Garnet, Lapis, and White Topaz followed the Zooman horde outside. "The rest of you take care of things here. We'll go save Greg."

"Figured he would've shown up at the wrong place at the wrong time." Garnet declared morosely.

"Though I must admit, it was pretty funny how they ganged up on him." White Topaz laughed.

"Oh, extremely funny!" Jasper chuckled before the four Gems set off to save Greg from the angry mob.

Back at Little Homeworld, Holly Blue was now digging a hole in the ground with rigorous tenacity, all while Cat's Eye watched with bemusement as she stroked Blake. "Uh, what are you digging a hole for? Are you planning to dig to China or something?"

"No, this is but a trap that I shall you to imprison those off-color Gems and finally get them out of my hair!" Holly Blue cackled. "Once they fall into the pit, I'll refill the hole and make sure they never find a way to get out!"

"Or you could just calmly tell them that their mistreatment of you has caused you extreme stress," Cat advised. "Seriously, I get that you're stressed, but this is a little much."

"Ooh, I got an even better idea!" Holly cackled evilly. "I'll get them all poofed, and then I'll put them in a box! Then I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives, I'll smash it with a hammer!" She let out another insane laugh, signaling to Cat's Eye that she has officially gone mad with either revenge, trauma, or, most likely, both.

"Holly, my dearest friend, your mouth is moving. Words are coming out. This is not good." Cat's Eye firmly stated as she grabbed Holly by the wrist and dragged her out of her hole. "Seriously, what did Dr. Sucrose say about this? Learning to stand up for yourself by being fair but still a little stern at the same time?"

"Do you really think that'll work?" Holly asked nervously. "For real life?"

"Yeah, whatever you just said, darling." Cat gave the Agate a sweet, feline grin while Blake let out an innocent meow.

"Fine, if it'll make you happy." Holly sighed as she walked away before stopping to turn her head. "Oh, and uh, Cat? You're a pretty good friend."

"You're too kind," Cat smirked as Black Rutile appeared. "Oh, hey, BR."

"What is Holly Blue doing?" Black Rutile asked the former lawyer. "I wanted to give her a new assignment."

"Oh, she's off to finally call out that Famethyst for their abuse of her." Cat revealed to her leader's shock.

"Oh no, am I in danger of losing yet another minion?!" Black Rutile asked fearfully as she tried following Holly Blue. "Well, I won't allow th-AAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Before she could walk any further, the Rutile fell into the hole that Holly had dug. "WHERE DID THIS HOLE COME FROM?!"

"You should've watched your step," Cat smirked at the Rutile's expense.

"NOW YOU TELL ME!" Black Rutile complained as she tried to climb back up.

"And right here, you have the best view in all of Little Homeschool." Cherry Quartz declared as she took the zoo Quartzes to the top of the whirlybird tower, where they all could see Beach City from miles away. "Pretty impressive, huh?"

"Killer." Chest Rose replied in amazement.

"Wow, it feels like I'm flying!" Shoulder Rose cheered in excitement.

"Don't get too excited, Rosie; I wouldn't want you to fall." Tiger's Eye said, trying to calm the super-eager Rose down. "We may be invulnerable, but we can't be too careful."

"She's right. We're really high up." Navy Rose agreed with Tiger's Eye, looking down at the ground way down below.

"Hey, wanna see who lands first?" one of the Amethysts suggested just as Holly Blue managed to find the Famethyst on top of the tower. "Let's use Holly Blue as a test!"

"Stop." Holly Blue firmly said, stopping the Amethyst where she stood. "Just stop."

"Whoa, she's not screaming in our faces for once." Skinny Jasper whispered to Carnelian. "She must be really serious."

"It's time we had a talk." Holly declared calmly, despite looking so enraged. "For nearly three years since the Crystal Gems came into our lives, you've treated me as nothing more than a punching bag because you think I deserved it for all the horrible things I did to you."

"Well, you do!" Carnelian exclaimed. "I mean, all the yelling and screaming and blaming us for stuff we didn't do! It's called karma, HB; get used to it!"

"And that is why I'm sorry!" Holly Blue finally shouted, much to the shock of the Famethyst, that she would say such a thing and without a hint of mockery too. "I'm sorry that I was so horrible to all of you; I only wanted to follow my orders to the letter, and look how that turned out! And I'll only follow through with this apology if you promise never to abuse me again! As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey!"

"Wait, are you serious?" another Amethyst murmured in shock at Holly taking responsibility for her actions for once.

"Well, this got intense real quick." Navy Rose added.

"Hey, can I talk with the gang real quick?" Skinny Jasper asked as she and the rest of the Famethyst huddled to discuss Holly's apology. "So what do you think? Should we forgive and forget?"

"Look, guys, I know Holly seems like she genuinely wants to change, but I'm having second thoughts right off the bat." An Amethyst whispered her two cents. "Last I remember, she got in trouble for falling in with Black Rutile, and we all know how much of a liar she is. Why don't we just cut our losses and leave her up here?"

"Well, we should just keep an eye on her, just in case." Carnelian agreed before turning back to Holly. "Listen, Holly, just because you apologized to us doesn't mean we'll just instantly forget all the bad things you did to us. But if you really want to make a change for the better, unlike some Gems we've heard of, that's okay with us."

"And we promise to try and go a little easier on you." Skinny Jasper added, making everyone laugh while Holly Blue let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you all for understanding," Holly said gratefully. "It felt so good to just get that off my chest at last and maybe grow as a person along the way."

"There you are; I've been looking all over for you!" Black Rutile yelled as she reached the top of the tower to confront Holly. "Come with me now; I have a new assignment for you!"

"Wait, really?" Holly asked as she was pulled away from the Famethyst.

"I knew she'd still hang with her." Skinny Jasper muttered.

"Oh well, hopefully, she keeps her end of the deal." Cherry Quartz replied. "Now then, back to the tour!"

"What do you want me for?" Holly Blue asked Black Rutile as the two rebels against Era 3 walked to the bottom of the whirlybird tower. "I was just about to have a moment of clarity and possibly redemption here!"

"Not on my watch, Holly!" Black Rutile stated. "I'm not about to let Steven strip you of your ability to think for yourself because I have a new job for you!"

"What kind of job?" Holly Blue asked before Black Rutile presented her with a hologram of the Seer to the Void and Rasputina's grimoire from her visor.

"Just a little breaking and entering." Black Rutile answered. "The Seer to the Void and Rasputina's grimoire are currently located in the Burning Room in the Crystal Temple, and Garnet can only access it via her gems. If you convince her to let you in, you can take both those items and be home free."

"But what do you need them for?" Holly Blue asked again.

"It's finally time to unleash Flipso." Black Rutile declared before she let out an evil laugh. "I've kept him waiting long enough, and now his godlike power will be mine to control!"

"Everyone, please calm down!" Garnet yelled to the Zoomans as they continued trying to hunt Greg down for his transgressions. "Just listen to Greg, and we can work things out!"

"I'm starting to think this was a bad idea!" Greg exclaimed as he locked himself in his van to hide from the Zoomans. However, that didn't stop the rampaging humans from trying to knock it over. "The universe must have a really twisted sense of humor right now."

"This is going to take all day." Jasper groaned in disgust.

"No, feels like we were chasing them from eleven to thirty minutes now." White Topaz replied. "Lapis, got any ideas?"

"How about I just stick them all in a big bubble?" Lapis suggested. "That should keep them from running around town like crazy?"

"That sounds utterly crazy!" Jasper objected to the idea.

"Well, sometimes crazy works." Garnet disagreed with Jasper. "Go for it, Lapis." At Garnet's command, Lapis summoned water from the nearby shore to wrap the Zoomans in before turning it into a big bubble to contain them. "Nice one."

"Oh, thank you, Lapis, you're a lifesaver!" Greg sighed in relief. "So gang, ready to hear me out now?"

"Okay Ga-Reg, we apologize for our recklessness," Wy-Six replied.

"We just still can't stop holding a grudge," Jay-Ten added. "Hopefully, you can forgive us for trying to hurt you as you hurt us."

"Aw, I can't stay mad at you guys." Greg chuckled.

"Well, that leaves that plotline finally tied up." Garnet sighed in relief. "Time to see how Pearl and the others are doing."

"Hold on a second!" Holly Blue cried as she raced up to Garnet. "Garnet, could you perhaps spare a moment of your time to show me the Burning Room?"

"Well, this is very sudden and quite suspicious," Garnet remarked. "I hope you don't have any ulterior motives."

"No way, I just want to see how empty it is and whether you still have any corrupted Gems left over!" Holly lied through her teeth.

"Guess I got some time to kill." Garnet agreed, making Holly smirk at how the fusion bought her fib hook, line, and sinker. "Come with me. I'll show you around."

"I got a bad feeling about this." White Topaz declared fearfully as Garnet and Holly Blue departed for the Crystal Temple.

"Ooh, I love what you've done with the place!" Holly Blue gasped in amazement at the emptied Burning Room, which still had a scant few bubbles containing valuable objects floating around. Two of them, in particular, were just the ones she needed. "Ooh, what are those two?"

"That's the Seer to the Void that we confiscated from Black Rutile, along with the grimoire that belonged to the sorceress Rasputina," Garnet explained to the Agate, who was getting inordinately close to the two bubbles. "I'd like to know why you're so interested in them." Just then, her future vision clued her to Holly's true intentions. "Oh no!"

"Thank you so much for the invitation, Garnet!" Holly Blue laughed heartily as she raced out of the Burning Room onto the Warp Pad. "And the goodie basket was a nice surprise too!"

"Wait, stop!" Garnet cried as Holly Blue disappeared, no doubt returning to Little Homeworld to see Black Rutile. "I have to warn the others and fast!"

Holly Blue reappeared on the Warp Pad at Little Homeworld, where the Rutile Rebels eagerly awaited her arrival. "I got them, my Rutile." She said while handing the bubbles over to Black Rutile and taking a bow. "Now, he can be free to smite worlds as he did in days long past."

"Excellent work, Holly Blue." Black Rutile smirked deviously as she patted Holly Blue on the shoulder. "I knew you wouldn't give up on me."

"Finally, let's get this party started!" Flipso cackled in triumph.

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 21: Being Human

As day turned to afternoon in Little Homeworld, Black Rutile had brought together her followers for a grand ceremony that was about to take place. She finally had all she needed to unleash Flipso onto the world and use his powers to destroy the Crystal Gems once and for all. And she had Holly Blue Agate and her silver tongue to thank for it. As the Rutile began making preparations, Flipso's silhouette excitedly zipped around her house while giggling to himself. "I'm going to be free! I'm finally going to be free!" he cheered eagerly. "Oh, it'll be so nice to get outta that prison, thanks to you!"

"Oh please, you're far too kind!" Black Rutile smiled in response while keeping her fingers crossed behind her back. While Flipso was more than happy to get the Rutile's help, he seemingly didn't realize that she had far darker plans for powers that great, plans that involved taking Flipso's powers for himself and using them to become omniscient. "Now then, without further ado."

She then turned to the Rutile Rebels. "Take heed, my followers!" Black Rutile announced. "Around us stands a symbol of oppression: Little Homeworld. Where dozens of Gems have languished under the names of these rebels." She then pulled out a picture of Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. "They have been held up to us as a shining example of kindness and forgiveness. But I say you have been supplied with false idols." She angrily tore the picture in half. "To stop you all from tearing down this corrupt reeducation camp!" The rebels all began cheering in excitement. "And will we just lie down and accept such a terrible fate? NO! For you see, I am now on the cusp of attaining phenomenal unlimited cosmic power courtesy of the cosmic jester Flipso, who I shall release via this ritual!" Finally, Black Rutile turned to Rasputina standing next to her. "Ready?!"

"The ritual is ready." Rasputina nodded before her eyes began to glow. "Owa Tagu Siam. Owa Tagu Siam." She began chanting. "Join me!"

"Gladly." Black Rutile replied before she started chanting as well. "Owa Tagu Siam. Owa Tagu Siam."

"It's working; it's working!" Flipso cheered as his shadow slowly turned into an orange and blue costume. "I can feel myself coming back!"

"When was the last time we had a successful plan?" Aquamarine asked snidely just as she heard the door get kicked open.

"Black Rutile, we've come to stop you!" Garnet yelled as she, Amethyst, Pearl, Peridot, Lapis, Bismuth, Jasper, and White Topaz barged into Black Rutile's house, ready for a fight. "And to make up for my foolish decision earlier!"

"You've arrived too late, Crystal Gems." Holly Blue sneered evilly. "In just a few moments, a being of indescribable power who will finally give you the karma you deserve!"

"Owa Tagu Siam. Owa Tagu Siam." Rasputina and Black Rutile continued chanting together as the room was bathed in blue and orange light.

"Someone, stop them!" Pearl yelled. "Wait, is that Rasputina?"

"I got it!" White Topaz replied as she charged towards the ritual, only to be stopped by Holly Blue spin dashing towards her with an electric aura. "OOF!"

"Well, she's down." Jasper declared. "Everybody else, attack!" The Crystal Gems charged at Jasper's command and tried to fight off the swarm of Black Rutile's minions to stop her, but they were too late. All of Little Homeworld was covered in an explosion of light. At long last, Flipso was finally freed.

"OOOOOH, HOT DIGGEDY DOG!" Flipso cheered as his true form was unveiled. His jester costume was bright orange and blue, his pupils were like miniature galaxies, and his mouth was permanently fixed into a big, toothy grin. "This place is magnificent!"

"Oh my stars, what is that?" Peridot muttered with terror and curiosity.

"Oh, you must be everyone's favorite character, the one who's hilarious, and we will quote everything she says." Flipso greeted Peridot. "Hey, name's Flipso J. Jestrix, lord of all confusion and delay. How's it going?"

"You mean to tell me this weird little gremlin man will be the key to you destroying us?" Lapis asked in utter disbelief of the impish jester before them.

"Nobody feed him after midnight." Teal Zircon replied, just as disappointed, while everyone started awkwardly at her presence among the Rutile Rebels. "Hey, I thought this was a book club or something!"

"Well, Flipso, now that we finally freed you, it's about time for you to hold up your end of the bargain." Black Rutile said as she weaved through the crowd to meet with Flipso. "Destroy the Crystal Gems! Prevent them from ever existing for all I care!"

"Not so fast." Flipso chuckled evilly as he ominously turned to Black Rutile, his eyes now completely black and empty except for the stars decorating them. "I know what you are, kiddo. You're planning on stealing my powers and becoming an all-powerful god yourself, eh?"

"Uh, quesadilla, matador, chihuahuas bravos, ¡Los Diego!" Black Rutile tried speaking Spanish to hide how terrified she was that Flipso knew her true plans so quickly. "Seriously, how did you know?"

"I read the first paragraph of the chapter." Flipso confirmed the Rutile's fears, even though she had no idea what he was saying. "You're just like some of the other morons that tried striking a deal with me! They all wanted to use me for my body or some other gross reason!" he declared. "Well, I am way smarter than you think I am! I'm not some silly little man who just wants friends because I'm a lonely little weirdo who also revels in making everybody's lives miserable; I am four parallel universes ahead of your puny 12th-level intellect!"

"Bold choices of words coming from someone who's about to lose everything to a mere Gem." Black Rutile fired back while menacingly holding up the Seer to the Void. "I released you; now you will obey me!"

"This is not going to end well." Eyeball grimaced.

"Well, you know what they say about striking a deal with a creature of total chaos." Flipso grinned as he pulled the Seer out of Black Rutile's hands, and it began glowing in his. "You'll never know whether they'll stay loyal to you or not. SHABOOEY!"

Soon, another flash of orange and blue completely covered Little Homeworld.

Meanwhile, far beyond the known universe, or the known multiverse even, there was a grand library containing every story known to man. Within that library resided its current overseer, the almighty and all-knowing cosmic owl Solaris Noctua, sitting down to a good book by the fireplace when he felt a disturbance in the multiverse.

"Something is happening." Solaris gasped in alarm. "He's finally escaped." Setting down his book, Solaris narrowed down Flipso's current location and suddenly disappeared from his library.

As the light slowly vanished, Black Rutile laid on the ground in a daze, overwhelmed by the power the Seer to the Void unleashed in Flipso's hands. A strange ringing noise droned in her ears as she could barely hear the Crystal Gems asking her questions about Flipso. Wait, ears? Gems don't naturally have ears! And why does her body feel so warm all of a sudden?

"Hey, I think she's waking up!" Bismuth exclaimed as Black Rutile got up off the ground and shook her head. "Okay, Black Rutile, you got a lot of explaining to do!"

"What more can I explain?" Black Rutile replied. "That freak already told us everything we could know about him."

"Well, not everything." White Topaz added. "Like, for example, why did he turn us all into humans, and why do we all look like we came straight out of my dream?"

"Wait, humans?!" Black Rutile exclaimed before racing towards the window and gazing at the human with black hair, red-rimmed glasses, a black dress shirt, and matching pants staring straight back at her. "AAAAAAHHHHH!"

As Black Rutile quickly realized, it wasn't just her, the Crystal Gems, and her subordinates that were turned into humans. The same happened to every Gem in Little Homeworld; they had no idea what was happening. Some were freaking out; others believed this was all a weird dream.

"Whoa, check this out!" the now humanized Teal Zircon exclaimed as she felt her new heart pumping. "Having a heart is really cool!"

"Blonde? So not my color!" Laz complained about her and Zuli's new hair colors.

"Hey, I think I look kinda cute." Zuli disagreed with Laz.

"Can someone get my hair out of my face?" Eyeball asked as she tried to brush away her bangs over her left eye.

"If I am a human, then that must mean Ruby and Sapphire no longer exist." Garnet muttered in horror as she gazed at her palms where her gems should be.

"Wow, you look almost the same." Tanzanite remarked at Apatite's darker-skinned human form.

"So do you," Apatite replied, commenting that Tanzanite had more human-looking skin and no other changes.

"This feels so strange," Serpentine commented on her new look. "Anyone else feeling the same?"

"Ditto." Albite nodded affirmatively.

"I don't feel that much different." Desert Glass remarked. "Of course, being human would mean our lifespan has now been dramatically shortened."

"Don't say that!" Tiger's Eye yelled in shock.

"What's going on?!" Beryl asked.

"Did you see this coming, Black Rutile?!" Amazonite dramatically asked Black Rutile. "Did you predict that we would be stabbed in the back and forced into these organic forms?!"

"Yeah, it's about time you talked!" Amethyst agreed with Amazonite.

"Okay, fine!" Black Rutile stated. "His power is too great for me to take on alone, which means that the only way to stop him is to," she gagged in her mouth at what she was about to say. "team up. But first, a little history lesson."

Eons ago, before time had a name, there was an all-powerful kingdom of reality-warping beings whose empire spanned entire multiverses. Before becoming the mad trickster who would influence human events for millenniums to come, Flipso was but a humble court jester for the royal family that ruled this kingdom. He happily entertained the royals and the people who would meet him, but eventually, something inside him would change. Rather than entertain the people, he would amuse himself by using his godlike powers to cause chaos. Why? Because he thought it was cool.

Upon destroying the empire and ascending to godhood, Flipso's actions would catch the attention of Solaris Noctua, the cosmic librarian who watched over the multiverse from his endless library. Fearing that Flipso would become a danger to all possible realities, Solaris would assemble an army of some of the mightiest beings in existence to stand a chance against him.

He would call upon the likes of the New Gods and the Celestialsapiens, the Children of Oberon, the Ninja Tribunal, the Thirteen Primes, the twelve Gods of Destruction, the Eternals, the Great Dragon, the Q Continuum, the Eight Guardian Generals, and many, many more. They all answered Solaris's call for help and came together as a mighty army that could counter Flipso's power.

The ensuing battle of gods was so great that trillions of realities were erased from existence because that much godly power was just too great for anybody to handle. The war on Flipso would last for many days and nights; some might say it stayed for longer than an eternity, but eventually, Flipso got bored of the fighting and decided to try and go home.

Unfortunately for him, Solaris used this as an opportunity to seal the jester away for good and trap him in the space beyond the omniverse. Despite Flipso's confinement, he would find a way to discover one universe he had an interest in for a while and influence the history of the creatures known as humans. Eventually, one soul learned of Flipso's existence and documented him in the spellbook that would come into the ownership of Rasputina. That man's name was Grigori Rasputin.

"Ah, this really is living the dream!" Flipso declared as he made Beach City fall into chaos upon his arrival at the seaside town. Within mere moments of his entrance, the almighty jester quickly began making himself at home by turning the Pizza family into literal slices of pizza, switching Ronaldo's butt with his mouth, releasing the giant crab monster that had previously been buried in the sand and taking it in as a pet, transforming the lighthouse into a disco ball, making the sky a perfect mix of day and night, among many others acts of defiance towards reality and common sense. "I could really get used to this!"

Meanwhile, in Little Homeworld, the human Gems had begun to settle down and think of a plan. With Rasputina's help, they began examining her grimoire in search of answers about Flipso's weaknesses. And to their surprise and delight, they found their answer.

"Ah-ha, I think I found it!" Pearl exclaimed. "It says here that Flipso can only be temporarily subdued by transferring his powers to whoever holds the Seer to the Void! But one problem, Flipso stole the artifact when he was released, and I'm pretty sure he won't give it back."

"If we do retrieve the Seer, then I volunteer to be the one to stop him." Black Rutile declared. "I was the one who started this mess, so it's only fitting that I stop it as well." However, she turned to the Rutile Rebels to reveal her true intentions to them. "Of course, that would also lead to me stealing Flipso's powers and using them to erase the Gems from existence once and for all."

"Hey, there's something else here!" Amethyst exclaimed and began reading a passage from the tome. "Whoever is foolish enough to steal such power, it will ultimately consume and then destroy them. Wow, intense."

"Now, Black Rutile, are you sure you want to do this?" Pearl asked Black Rutile. "You've heard that gaining such power will be fatal. You know the old saying, right?"

"Absolute power corrupts absolutely." Black Rutile nodded affirmatively. "Well, whoever created such a line has never met me before!"

"Don't get too cocky there." Garnet urged Black Rutile. "This shall only be for a few moments."

"You underestimate me, Garnet." Black Rutile replied. "I haven't fought scores of Gems in the Rebellion just to be told that I can't face one little jester!"

"But that begs the question," Pyrope stated. "what chance do we have against Flipso? We can't summon our weapons, we can't use any of our powers, and I'm pretty sure we're unable to use the Warp Pad to get to Beach City in our current state!"

"Well, I suppose we'll have to make the most of what we have," Demantoid replied.

"Which means we better start walking!" Morganite added.

"Nyet, allow me." Rasputina declared. "I shall use my magic to bring us to where Flipso may be. It is the least I can do to repay Black Rutile for saving me."

"Hey, that reminds me, I'm noticing a suspicious number of old enemies and friends on your side now." White Topaz pointed out. "What are Emerald, Pyrope, Demantoid, Morganite, and Topaz doing here?"

"They are insignificant at the moment!" Black Rutile stopped Amethyst from digging any deeper. "It's just some good old manipulation, nothing more! Now then, shall we, Rasputina?"

"Gladly," Rasputina said before casting a spell that sent herself, the Rutile Rebels, and the Crystal Gems away to follow Flipso.

"Man, I could get used to a place like this," Flipso remarked, gazing upon the chaos he had created in Beach City. "Ain't that right, Brenny?"

"Please put me out of my misery." James Brenner, now turned into a helpless ventriloquist dummy by Flipso, begged for the sweet release of death even though it was virtually impossible.

"Yeesh, who knew you'd be such a Debbie downer?" Flipso rolled his eyes before looking towards Marty's decapitated head on a plate served by his body and also smoking a cigarette. "How about you Marty-Mart?"

"Kill me." Marty urged Flipso to end his suffering as well.

"Later!" Flipso scoffed at Marty's expense. "Man, just look at this world." He declared while looking out at the sea beyond him. "So much potential for a little spicing up of everyone's lives! I could give some third-world country everything they could ever want, make it a new global superpower, and watch as the power eventually gets to their heads! I could turn millionaires into politicians; no, that seems like a bad idea."

"Flipso!" Black Rutile cried as the Crystal Gems and Rutile Rebels were warped to Beach City by Rasputina to confront Flipso. "You got some nerve thinking you can stab me in the back!"

"Whoa, look at what he's done with the place." Tiger's Eye gasped at how much Flipso had altered Beach City to fit his twisted morals.

"How could he have done such a thing?!" Pearl yelled in horror. "What is the method to your madness?"

"Are you doing this because you have no sense of right and wrong?" Cat's Eye asked.

"Are you just lonely and only want a friend? What is it?!" Eyeball added.

"Of course, I have a sense of right and wrong." Flipso answered the human Gems. "It's just that I do all this because it's cool."

"See, I told you he survives on pure amusement, just like the book said!" Black Rutile reiterated for the reality-breaking clown.

"In fact, this reminds me of a song! You like songs, right?" Flipso said before clearing his throat and beginning to sing. "Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling. From glen to glen and on the mountainside. The summer's gone, and the leaves are falling." He then pulled out a top hat and cane to dance with. "What do I do? What do I do? I can do anything that you can't do!"

As big band music started playing, Flipso conjured up an army of pink elephants to back him up in his psychedelic number. "I could turn you all into puppets!" he declared before transforming his enemies into marionettes to play with. "Yeah, that I can do! Or maybe you all become bread!" Flipso then changed the puppets into various types of bread.

"We're toast!" Teal Zircon cried.

"No man can come up to par with me; it makes you wanna scream!" Flipso exclaimed while sticking Teal Zircon into a toaster and turning her into cinnamon sugar toast. "What do I do? What do I do? I can do anything that you can't do! What do I do? What do I do? Pants to be darkened full of poo!"

"Ew." Desert Glass muttered disgustedly.

"Hm, my, you seem a little stuck in the mud. Let's change that, shall we?" Flipso demonstrated by literally trapping Desert Glass in mud and then sticking her in a washbin. "A little shower will make you smile with glee, all thanks to me!"

"Someone, stop that song!" Jasper commanded and led the charge in trying to stop Flipso in his tracks, but they were powerless to stop him from trapping the combined Gem teams in trapping them in chocolate.

"What do I do? What do I do? I can do anything that you can't do!" Flipso exclaimed before trapping everyone in a challenging video game where they died repeatedly. "What do I do? What do I do? Try and stop me, but wait, you can't do that too!" The song ended as Flipso laughed manically while volcanos erupted from behind him, signifying how he was just as much a deadly threat to humanity as he was hilarious. "Thank you, thank you! You like me; you really like me!" he thanked an imaginary audience while receiving an award for his song. "I'd like to thank all the little people for getting me this far!"

"Enough games, fool!" Black Rutile yelled. "I'm the only one allowed to wreak havoc upon this town and all the fools that live in it! Either leave this planet and never return, or I will destroy you!"

At Black Rutile's threat, Flipso's previous casually psychopathic attitude became far more sinister as he slowly glared at Black Rutile, his face becoming more monstrous in the process. "Are you threatening me?"

"You bet I am!" Black Rutile replied while taking out the grimoire to threaten Flipso with. "This book has all your weaknesses, and I won't stop until I've used every single one of them!" Unfortunately, Flipso immediately snatched the book from her hands and put it under lock and key. "Hey!"

"Sorry, kiddo, but I can't let you end a story like that." Flipso declared mockingly. "But if you want me gone, you'll have to fight me for it first."

"Tell us what the catch is," Garnet said.

Flipso gave the ground rules for his challenge. "The catch is that if I win, I'm sending you all to parts unknown where you can never bother me again. But if you win, I'll leave, and you'll never see me again. But that won't stop me from causing chaos wherever I may end up!"

"Oh, you just had to pull that card!" Amethyst moaned. "Okay, it's a deal!"

"This better be good." Albite added.

"Splendid, and I got just the venue." Flipso grinned eagerly before he teleported everybody away.

In a massive arena filled with cheering fans, the Gems were teleported into a wrestling ring where Flipso was the host. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND EVERYONE ELSE IN-BETWEEN, WELCOME TO THE CAN'T-MISS EVENT OF THE EON!" a duplicate of Flipso yelled into a microphone. "IN THIS CORNER, A BUNCH OF HUMANS CALLING THEMSELVES GEMS!" The crowd began booing at the Gems, who reacted with embarrassment and confusion. "AND IN THIS CORNER, OUR REIGNING CHAMPION, THE BREAKER OF REALITIES, THE DEVOURER OF WORLDS, IIIIT'S-"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT MY NAME IS!" Flipso's voice echoed from above as the spotlights revealed him in stereotypical wrestling gear while wearing the Seer to the Void around his neck. "The champ is here! AND HIS NAME IS FLIPSO!" The crowd began going wild as Flipso leaped down into the ring, creating massive shockwaves as he landed and took the microphone out of the referee's hands. "THAT'S RIGHT, BROTHAS, SISTAHS, AND EVERYBODY ELSE, FLIPSO IS READY! OOOOOHHHH, YEAAAAH!"

"Oh no." an irritated Garnet, Pearl, Peridot, Lapis, Bismuth, White Topaz, Aquamarine, Cat's Eye, Holly Blue, Desert Glass, Topaz, Amazonite, Albite, Pyrope, Morganite, and Serpentine groaned.

"OH YEAH!" Amethyst, Jasper, Albite, Tiger's Eye, Eyeball, Teal Zircon, Tanzanite, Emerald, Beryl, Emerald, and Demantoid added eagerly at the chance to wrestle.

"Now let me tell ya something, ya stupid Gems," Flipso jeered his opponents. "you got some nerve trying to combat the single most powerful clown in the entire universe! But since I gotta play fair according to Rule A-113 of Da Rules, I'll give you back your weapons." He snapped his fingers, giving everyone their weapons to be better matched against him. "Now come on, come at me and get some!"

"Finally, some action!" Jasper grinned excitedly before charging at Flipso and punching him square in the face. "Get him, everybody!"

As the human Gems began fighting Flipso, Solaris Noctua appeared among the audience to watch while helping himself to some popcorn, a soda, and a chili cheese dog as he closely examined Flipso duking it out. "I should've known he'd get out." He shook his head disdainfully. "Hopefully, those Gems know what they're doing."

As the fight continued, Flipso became far more animalistic in his movements and fighting, almost like he was becoming the violent monster he was described as in legend. Regardless of the Gems' current species, some of their combat experience, especially Amethyst and Jasper, stayed the same. Soon, Rasputina's grimoire began hanging over the ring like a briefcase to be won in a wrestling match, and naturally, only one could take it for themselves.

"There, there is my book!" Rasputina yelled as she pointed to the spellbook. "Someone, grab it at once and throw it to me!"

"On it!" Black Rutile replied. "Someone, throw me!" On command, Holly Blue raced to her boss while everyone else kept Flipso busy. Amazonite, Tanzanite, Apatite, Albite, Desert Glass, Beryl, Tiger's Eye, Serpentine, Teal Zircon, Topaz, Demantoid, Pyrope, Emerald, and Morganite were all suddenly blown back as Flipso changed into a more beastly form, angered that his fun would have to end so soon.

"I refuse to let anyone poop on my party!" Flipso shrieked like a banshee as he charged at Black Rutile, being tossed into the air by Holly Blue, and the two began fighting over the grimoire. "I thought we had something special here, babe! The two of us would've caused so much destruction together!"

"But you betrayed me, you disgusting gremlin!" Black Rutile argued back. "Was this your plan the whole time?! Did you exploit me for your twisted games?!"

"I don't care; just give it back!" Flipso yelled back as Black Rutile tried distracting him by ripping the Seer to the Void off his neck and grabbing the grimoire in accord. "Oh no."

"Oh yes!" Black Rutile cheered as she tossed the book to Rasputina. "Now, cast the reversal spell!"

"With pleasure." Rasputina grinned evilly while casting a spell to keep Flipso contained. "Jamaic Kirkhopus, Sontenny Leonidas, Spartan Hellacious Apocalpyso!" With that chant, all the Gems were officially restored to normal by negating Flipso's magic, leaving Black Rutile free to absorb the clown's powers for herself.

"YEEEEESSSS!" Black Rutile roared delightedly as she felt herself becoming a god beyond gods. "This power, this unlimited power! I could do anything with this level of omnipotence, the world is my oyster, and I am the pearl! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Don't you realize what you're doing, kiddo?" Flipso frowned as he was reduced to a mortal man. "Absolute power corrupts absolutely. That much power could probably kill you! Listen, I'll leave you guys alone if you give me my powers back!"

"Sorry! After the way you treated me, it's only fitting that I repay in kind!" Black Rutile replied while examining the possibilities of her new powers. "I can see it all now. Not only can I use these abilities to be rid of Steven for good, but I will use them to hunt down any young hero like him! Trollhunters fighting their last battle, huntresses losing that more honest soul, invincible champions reduced to puddles of blood, an age of wonderbeasts coming to a destructive end, human witches and warriors of calamity meeting their untimely demise, princesses of power, heroes of heroes, vampire slayers, guardians of light, American dragons, all of them destroyed with a mere wave of my hand!"

"You need to stop this!" White Topaz urged Black Rutile. "Like Flipso said, this power could kill you if you're not careful! Please, listen to people other than yourself for just once in your life!"

"No, I will destroy everything! Destroy, destroy, and destroy more until this world disappears! That is the reason I'm standing here today!" Black Rutile laughed manically as she prepared to use her newly gained omniscience to wipe the Crystal Gems from reality once and for all. But just as she was about to attack, the now godly Rutile suddenly gained an epiphany.

"No! Now I see the universe for what it is: We are all dust, bound by one enormous, universal force. No, not universal, not even multiversal! This omniversal force continues forever, in every direction through every reality!" Black Rutile began a monologue before turning to Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. "My lust for power, my hatred of Pink Diamond, it isn't just evil, ultimately; it's pointless. I could never truly destroy you. You would only have been not unexistent in what could have not now been the past, present, and partial future. To tear down and destroy is of no consequence or quality; to create is divine."

"Okay, I think that's enough playtime for you, Blackie." Flipso muttered as he anticlimactically snatched the Seer to the Void away from Black Rutile, regaining his powers as he stuffed it in his pockets. "Listen, babes, I had a lot of fun here, but I can definitely see that you're way more boring than I expected. I mean, come on, working together?! I thought you two were supposed to be at each other's throats for arbitrary reasons! And who's this Steven kid, and why does Black Rutile have such a huge hatred for a freakin' teenager?"

"They came together because of you." Solaris Noctua proclaimed as he finished his chili cheese dog and warped into the ring to confront Flipso. "I should've known you'd use such wicked hearts to enact your escape, Flipso."

"Oh no, it's the fuzz! I can't go back to jail!" Flipso yelled and tried to escape, but Solaris kept him from fleeing by grabbing his ankle. "Hey, let me go!"

"You must be Solaris Noctua, correct?" Black Rutile asked as she groveled at the sight of the cosmic librarian. "It is an honor to be in your presence, sir! I apologize; the creature took advantage of my lust for power and played me right into his hands!"

"She struck a deal with him." Eyeball admitted to Solaris.

"How unfortunate. This planet has had enough interplanetary visitor dudes as is." Solaris said before he started chuckling. "Dudes. Such a silly word."

"You'll never take me alive!" Flipso screamed as he wriggled free and poofed away.

"I'll catch up with him later." Solaris rolled his eyes before returning to the restored Crystal Gems and Rutile Rebels. "As for you, it's time for you to go home." He snapped his fingers, sending all the Gems back to Beach City before flying away.

Once the Crystal Gems and Rutile Rebels were brought back to Beach City, it seemed like that, thanks to the reversal spell, everything Flipso destroyed was back to normal. Well, minus the fact that the giant crab monster was still around and was now entering the ocean, no doubt to find a new home.

"Well, now that Flipso is finally dealt with, our alliance ends." Garnet declared to Black Rutile while taking the grimoire and bubbling it to the Burning Room, where she ensured no one would ever find it again. "But make no mistake; we're still watching you."

"I don't care; I'm just going to take a few days off after that bout of omnipotence made me rethink my life's choices." Black Rutile answered. "But that won't stop me from finding ways to ruin you for what you did to me!"

"Still as determined as ever." A shaken James Brenner gasped as he dusted himself and checked his jaw to see if he was still a puppet.

"Good grief, I need a smoke after all that," Marty replied before whipping out a cigarette.

"We may no longer have a god by our side, but we still have a far greater weapon." Black Rutile smirked while clenching her fist. "Fear."

"And then Black Rutile got all nihilistic and junk as she gained my powers!" Flipso complained to an old friend of his as they played cards together. Said old friend had the head of a pony and various other animal parts making up the rest of his body. "Puh-lease, if you want to become almighty, you gotta own it! You know what I'm saying?!"

"That Beach City place seems awfully dull," Discord observed while revealing his cards and winning the hand. "I mean, almost any kind of conflict is just resolved instantly with crying and singing! Now, my world isn't that much different, but at least it's way more adventurous, and some foes still get comeuppance!"

"Kinda like how you never got any punishment for impersonating that Grogar guy?" Flipso replied.

"Hey, I can get away with being as obnoxious and destructive as possible after becoming friends with my enemies!" Discord fired back. "What's your excuse as to why you couldn't do the same?!"

"Because it's not cool enough." Flipso proclaimed.

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 22: Seeing Black

"Don't get too cocky, Andesine!" the red-clad captain of the Black Pearl Brigade yelled from her captain's chair at the other ship they were dogfighting with. "All systems, fire!"

"Will do, Cap!" Pony, the blue-dressed second in command of the Brigade, saluted before pointing the Servant's weapons at the ship. In the months since the fall of Black Rutile and Cinnabar, though the Black Pearls had planned on going wherever the winds took them, there were still members of the Rutile Rebels hiding across the universe that needed to be brought to justice. Andesine happened to be one of them. A former sergeant of Yellow Diamond feared far and wide for her sadism and patience, best demonstrated as Andesine heartlessly used her fleet as shields, the orange Gem dressed in samurai-like armor led an entire army of fellow Rutile Rebels in trying to conquer what territory had been lost by her master and comrades.

Along with Andesine were a long-haired orange Amber dressed in a tan jacket, brown zip-up overalls, and an orange scarf around her neck, and a Howlite with black veins spreading across her face wearing a turtle-necked sweater and a visor over her eyes.

"Lady Andesine, we seem to be evenly matched with these Pearls." Howlite cautioned her superior as Andesine's ship was at war with the Servant and the Sun Incinerator. "What do you suggest we do now?"

"I say we should keep firing, nerd!" Amber yelled at Howlite's face. "There's gotta be a weak point we can exploit or something!"

"Not everything can be solved with violence, you hotheaded clod!" Howlite argued with Amber. "Sometimes, we have to make a plan and wait for an opportunity!"

"Sometimes, plans don't always work out, and opportunities will fail too." Amber retorted. "Game, set, and match! Nailed it!"

"Can it, you fools!" Andesine commanded her two minions to cease their bickering. "While I agree with Amber that sometimes brute force can get good results, my current plan might be more Howlite's speed." This caused Howlite to stick her tongue out at Amber while Amber pulled down an eyelid. "What the Pearls don't realize is that I'm planning to break Cinnabar out of prison and bring her to Black Rutile, wherever she may be. My idea is to feign surrender so we can be taken to Revanche 666 and stage a breakout."

"That's a brilliant idea." Howlite agreed while side-eyeing Amber, who just rolled her eyes while folding her arms. "But how can we convince the Pearls that we surrender? Surely they'll get suspicious about what you have planned."

"Just follow my lead," Andesine answered before ordering her ships to stop firing and opening communications with the Black Pearl Brigade and the Off-Colors. "I'd like to arrange a formal meeting with the enemy fleet to reach a truce."

"What kind of truce?" Cap asked suspiciously.

"This better not be a trap, Andesine!" Lars shouted.

"No, there is no trap," Andesine promised while crossing her fingers behind her back, letting Amber and Howlite know she was telling a big, fat lie. "As of today, my associates and I peacefully surrender."

"Wait, already?!" Lars exclaimed. "We kinda thought that you'd resist just a little longer! What's with the sudden change in attitude?"

Andesine glanced at Amber, causing her to start speaking too. "Oh, well, uh," Amber stumbled over her words. "we just felt so tired by all the chasing and fighting and thought that it was time we tried changing ourselves for the better."

"That's right!" Howlite added just as shakily. "All this time, we were so lost and directionless; all this warfare just seemed so senseless!"

"I still do not trust them!" Braids, the Brigade's yellow-wearing strongman, said bluntly. "Bring them aboard our ship to see if they truly mean what they say!"

"Hey, you want a fight, Pearl?!" Amber yelled at Braids. "That's right, you and me! Right now! We're having it out! Come on, come on!"

"Everybody, calm down." Fluorite soothed the tensions between all three parties. "Now then, Andesine, are you really certain you surrender?"

"I am as certain as the universe is vast." Andesine replied before quickly flashing her two cohorts a smile. "Please bring us to Revanche 666 so we may consider what we've done."

"IQ, what can you make of this?" Braids asked IQ, the green-garbed intelligence officer of the team.

"Hm, I can indeed conclude they are suspicious." IQ nodded in response. "But if they want to surrender, that makes our jobs easier."

"Andesine is going to surrender, but she has something sinister planned!" Padparadscha Sapphire exclaimed.

"Ignore her," Andesine stated. "Please, take us away, for we are now the last of the Rutile Rebels yet to be arrested!"

"She's right, it's only this fleet left to go, and then we've caught them all!" Pony added. "In any case, you're all under arrest! Lay down your arms, and we'll take you in quietly!"

"At long last, we have them all." Tails, the pink-wearing sharpshooter, smiled in relief. "What a relief."

"Okay, you three, just stay right there while we take you to prison," Lars ordered the three Rutile Rebels as he ended communications with Andesine, who began grinning evilly as soon as their eyes were off her.

"Flawless victory." Andesine declared to Amber and Howlite. "Once we receive our sentence, we shall form a plan from there."

"I like the way you're thinking, boss!" Amber said, rubbing her nose with her thumb and smirking.

"You always were a very patient Gem who loved taking advantage of whatever situation you got in," Howlite added as Andesine's ship was seized by the Black Pearls and the Off-Colors, causing the three Gems to raise their hands in surrender. "I hope you know what you're doing here, Andesine."

"Trust me; I know exactly what I'm doing," Andesine assured with a smirk.

Soon, Andesine and her fleet were transported to Revanche 666 to be admitted into the prison and brought to their cells. By this point in time, the number of prisoners had slowly decreased as more and more of the Rutile Rebels were rehabilitated in confinement and allowed to rejoin society. However, Cinnabar and her cohorts were among the prisoners that refused to accept defeat no matter how much the Black Pearls, Peridots, and Bismuths tried to convince them to abandon their warmongering ways. Now, they were soon to be joined by Andesine, Amber, Howlite, and all the other Gems who pledged allegiance to the trio, just as Andesine had planned.

"Okay, all of you single file!" Lars commanded the Gems being shown to their cells. "Nobody makes a ruckus; this is a prison we're running here, not a fight club."

"Did they seriously turn our headquarters into a prison?!" Amber yelled in outrage.

"I recognize the irony as well, Amber," Howlite replied dourly.

"Well, I think that should be everyone," Rhodonite said happily. "At long last, the universe is free of the Rutile Rebels. That reminds me, how has Black Rutile been doing since she was exiled to Earth?"

"Probably off plotting her revenge or something; I don't care anymore," Lars replied. "I'm just glad we finally put these bigots down once and for all."

"LOOK WHO'S TALKING!" a fusion loyal to Andesine yelled from the line.

"Hey, what did I say about making a ruckus?!" Lars yelled back. "Anyways, what else should we do now that we finally have some free time?"

"Yes, I've been wondering that too." Nacre, the Brigade's latest recruit, and medic dressed in white and formerly known as Shell, stated. "In the time since I've gained a physical body, I don't think I've had enough time to think about how it feels. There is just so much about the universe that I want to learn more about!"

"Well, if that's the case, why don't we find somewhere to retire to?" Cap asked. "Any suggestions?"

"We could go back to Kyukanza." Braids suggested. "The atmosphere and scenery are positively glorious."

"Or we could go to East Walleef again." IQ added. "Surely, the townsfolk will welcome us after how we saved them from Mr. Manco."

"Hm, good choices, all of you." Cap nodded in recognition of her teammates' options. "However, my decision differs ever so slightly. From this day on, we shall become residents of Earth!"

"Oh, Earth!" Nacre exclaimed cheerfully. "I've only been there as an artificial intelligence, but to be there as a full Gem would be so exciting!"

"Huh, what a weird coincidence." Lars realized as his eyes widened. "I've actually been planning on visiting Earth sometime to catch up with everybody down there. Why don't we both go there?"

"That would be a good idea." Tails nodded in agreement. "We can make a day out of it, have a little fun, reconnect with old friends, and make a new home."

"Well, what are we waiting for?!" Pony exclaimed. "Let's get a move on already!"

As the Black Pearls and the Off-Colors boarded their ships and left Revanche 666 for Earth, Andesine was getting acquainted with her new living situation while being led to her cell. Around her, she could see Gems sitting in their small cells guarded by a destabilizing field. Dalmatian Jasper was bouncing a ball against the wall of her cell, Xenotime was facing the corner and didn't turn once, Pyrite had been tallying up how many days she spent in confinement, Kyanite shapeshifted her hand into a harmonica, Bloodstone paced around her cell no doubt coming up with new crackpot theories, and Zoisite laid on her bench to stare at the ceiling. And then there was Cinnabar. What Andesine thought was once a proud and confident leader worthy of being Black Rutile's apprentice now sat defeated in her cell, contemplating how her actions led to her downfall.

"We're sorry that we failed, my lord." Andesine said to the caged Cinnabar.

"Don't fret, Andesine." Cinnabar sighed in defeat. "I failed just as hard."

"Okay, this will be your home until you finally realize what you're missing here." A Black Pearl guard said as she guided Andesine to her cell and closed the destabilizing field behind her. "Don't think about trying to get out. These cells were made to poof anyone who tries to escape."

As soon as the guard left, Andesine heard a knock on the wall. Surprisingly, she had been placed right next to Cinnabar's cell. "So, how did you get here?" Cinnabar asked. "How badly did you lose?"

"We didn't lose; we surrendered," Andesine said, to the shock and horror of Cinnabar and her cohorts. "But that's what we want them to think. We feigned loss because we plan to break you out and return to Black Rutile on Earth." She revealed. "Hopefully, she'll welcome us back in spite of our past failures to conquer the universe in her name."

"Wait, you want to break out of here?!" Dalmatian Jasper yelled. "No Gem ever escapes from Revanche!" The ball she was throwing then hit her in the face.

"They got round-the-clock security, and the Pearls show no mercy to anyone trying to escape!" Zoisite added.

"This is basically a suicide mission!" Kyanite stated, taking a break from her harmonica playing to show her concern. "And I'm unsure if Black Rutile would ever want us back."

"Hold on, everyone, let's just hear her out." Pyrite calmed everybody down. "Now, why do you think you'll be able to break out?"

"Because I have a little thing called hope," Andesine assured. "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."

"Good to see you're so optimistic," Bloodstone said.

"Hope can be a far stronger tool than fear, you know," Howlite stated. "After all, fear is the mind-killer and the little-death that will bring total obliteration."

"Aw, but we just got here!" Amber complained. "I've been planning on stabbing someone with a shiv!"

"Just as long as that someone isn't me." Xenotime declared as she slowly turned her head from the corner of her cell.

"So what do you say, Cinnabar?" Andesine asked Cinnabar, who was now reinspired by her fellow rebel's words of wisdom as she knocked on the wall again.

"I'm in." Cinnabar declared eagerly.

Meanwhile, on Earth, the Pearls had touched down in Little Homeworld, ready to start new lives away from the menace of the Rutile Rebels. Upon landing outside its gates, the Pearls disembarked from their ship to tour the Gem town and were greeted by its inhabitants along the way. The sights around her utterly enamored Nacre, as she was only here as an AI before, but now she could live her life as a full Pearl.

"Oh, hello there, welcome to Little Homeworld." The Brigade could hear Pearl greet them before she realized who she was talking to. "Oh my, the Black Pearl Brigade, is that you? How have you been lately? And who's this new Pearl?"

"Oh, we have much to tell you about what we've done since we were last here." Cap laughed awkwardly. "First of all, this is Nacre." Nacre gave a polite shake of Pearl's hand. "You may know her better as Shell, but now she gained a physical body after saving us by restoring our memories after we were temporarily amnesiac thanks to Cinnabar."

"Wait, Shell? As in the Shell from the Reef?" Pearl asked just as Garnet and Amethyst joined her. "How did that happen?"

"Well, that is actually a long story." Nacre stated. "You see, it all started when the Pearls' ship crashed into the Reef during an adventure and-"

"Well, well, well." Black Rutile declared as she reunited with the Pearls. "Hello there, Brigade. Fancy seeing you back here. I see you've got a wardrobe change and a new recruit." She glanced at Nacre. "A little taller than the rest of you, I see."

"You must be Black Rutile." Nacre said. "I've heard about how cruel and selfish you were, but I never thought I'd see you in person someday."

"Those are all just facetious lies!" Black Rutile barked at Nacre. "Now then, Pearls, what brings you here?"

"We're actually planning on moving into Little Homeworld now that we've taken down all your followers." Cap announced to Black Rutile. "Andesine surrendered pretty easily, surprisingly enough, but we got a feeling she has something planned."

"That's Andesine for you, always planning ahead of everyone else." Black Rutile replied before looking to the Crystal Gems. "Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, why don't you go and make the Pearls at home while I talk with them?"

"Fine, but don't do anything funny!" Amethyst agreed before walking away. "Hey, where do you think we should put it?"

"Guess we'll just have to pick a random spot." Garnet declared as the three Crystal Gems got further and further away, allowing Black Rutile to talk with her former foot soldiers in private.

"You remember what we agreed upon last time you visited Earth, correct?" Black Rutile asked menacingly, pulling out her bowie knife to prove her point. "Tell anyone about our little scuffle, and I'll make sure they pay the price."

"Yes, we still remember." Pony proclaimed. "But if you think you can control us again, we will have no choice but to expose you."

"Wait, what deal?" Nacre asked curiously. "I was on the Servant then, so I'm a little lost here." At the same time, the Servant began hovering above Little Homeworld as Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl piloted it to a good spot where they could make it into a new home for the Pearls.

"Basically, Black Rutile forced us never to tell anybody she was hiding in the woods." IQ recounted. "But I guess that doesn't work anymore since everybody knows you're here now."

"Oh, you think you're cute?!" Black Rutile snarled angrily.

"Please, we're adorable!" Braids confidently answered. "Jokes aside, this place is now under our protection! I do no doubt that you are plotting glorious revenge, and we shall not stand for it!"

"Well, go ahead, make my day." Black Rutile grinned. "If you feel like you are this town's protectors, then I dare one of you to hit me as hard as you can. Which one of you dares?" The Pearls all looked at each other awkwardly, taken aback by Black Rutile's sudden challenge. However, Nacre was quick to accept the offer.

"I'll do it!" Nacre eagerly cheered.

"Wow, you're quite enthusiastic for a piece of fresh meat." Black Rutile laughed. "Hit me with your best shot; fire away if you have to!" Unfortunately for Black Rutile, she only got a gentle tap on the chest. "You're joking, right?"

Back at Revanche 666, a great escape was soon to take place. Headed by Andesine and Cinnabar, the Rutile Rebels that were still imprisoned were plotting to break out of their confinement and escape to Earth, where Cinnabar had stated Black Rutile was currently located. After ripping off a part of the wall in her cell, Howlite tinkered with the wires to hack into the security systems and deactivate the destabilizing fields so they could exit their cells safely and find somewhere to hide from the guards.

"Okay, everybody, here is the plan." Andesine declared. "Once Cinnabar and I return to our cells, we'll act perfectly natural while the rest of you follow our orders." She then began putting the Gems into groups based on their assignments. "Howlite, you, Xenotime, and Bloodstone will take over the security systems and free everyone else from their cells. Amber, Dalmatian Jasper, and Zoisite will hold all personnel hostage. Finally, Kyanite and Pyrite will find us a ship to steal so we can be home free. Are we clear on this?"

"One question," Howlite said. "If our plan is found out, how shall we compensate for such an event?"

"It's quite simple," Andesine answered. "In case that happens, we shall take no survivors."

With that, the escape plan sprang into action. Almost immediately, DJ and Amber pretended to start a prison riot to get the guards' attention, their acting skills working flawlessly as Zoisite also pretended to try and break up the fight.

"I'm telling you, the Viltrumites stand no chance against the Chimera Sui Generis!" DJ argued with Amber. "Their superior strength and superhuman abilities make them unstoppable!"

"But a Chimera Sui Generis is far more durable than you realize!" Amber yelled back. "They can take a beating without breaking a sweat! And that's not even taking into account their squid forms!"

"Please, you two, stop fighting over such trivial things!" Zoisite begged the two fighting Gems as a group of Black Pearl and Bismuth guards arrived on the scene.

"Are we going to need to intervene here?" one of the Pearls asked threateningly while pointing her spear at DJ.

"Well, you just happened to show up at the right time." Dalmatian Jasper smirked as her gem conjured a hook to snag the Pearl by the neck. "Let's make one thing clear here, Pearl! I'm in charge of this joint now, and anyone who says otherwise will have to answer to my friends!" Zoisite followed up on her partner's threat by pulling out her naginata and taking out a Bismuth in one fell swoop. Meanwhile, Amber pulled out her weapon, a kusarigama, and used the chain to strange another Pearl to the point of poofing. "Do I make myself clear?"

"How did you even escape?!" the Pearl exclaimed in horror.

"Let's just say some friends of ours are smarter than you think." Dalmatian Jasper grinned.

"I think we're on the verge of a breakout here!" a Bismuth operating the security cameras exclaimed as she watched DJ and Amber fight the Pearls before she gave orders to the rest of the prison staff. "All units, mobilize to subdue the prisoners! I repeat, subdue the prisoners!"

"I don't believe that'll be necessary." Howlite said as she stood behind the Bismuth and struck her down with her baseball bat. "Bloodstone, Xenotime, you take out the rest of the guards! I'll shut down the rest of the cells!"

"Sounds like a plan," Xenotime answered robotically as she made time freeze around her, stopping the oncoming Bismuths in their tracks and poofing them all with ruthless precision and mechanical grace. As soon as time resumed, it was like Xenotime defeated them all in less than a second.

"Cheater." Bloodstone grimaced. "Didn't even let me get a hit in."

"Wibbly wobbly timey wimey powers, deal with it." Xenotime retorted smugly before turning to Howlite. "How is everything going?"

"I'm in!" Howlite declared as she shut down the entire defense grid and allowed every remaining prisoner to escape, causing mass chaos in Revanche 666 as far as the eye can see. "I love it when a plan comes together." However, while all the security cameras have been shut off by Howlite's hacking, at least one was left unnoticed by the three Gems. And it was still running.

Cinnabar and Andesine emerged from their cells to see the rioting Gems wreaking havoc and overwhelming the guards with their anger at being kept away for so long. The two grinned at each other, as it seemed their plan had gone off without a hitch.

"It's official; this prison is ours." Cinnabar proclaimed before a Peridot was dropped at their feet.

"Why are you doing this?" the Peridot yelled in terror. "How did you plan all this?!"

"It's a secret to everyone." Andesine winked at the Peridot before pulling a communicator from the gem on her chest. "Kyanite, how is finding a ship going?"

"Well, funny you should mention that because me and Pyrite just ran into a problem." Kyanite nervously said.

"Oh no." Cinnabar moaned. "What is it?"

"Hessonite just came and destroyed all the other ships," Kyanite said on the other end as she and Pyrite came face to face with Hessonite and Citrine. Every other ship in the prison had been destroyed, leaving Hessonite's warship the only one left, and Kyanite & Pyrite were currently at the end of the line.

"We've been watching this prison for quite some time in the event something like this happens." Hessonite declared while presenting her sword.

"But how did you know?!" Kyanite yelled.

"That Howlite forgot to shut off a camera that was running on backup power," Citrine answered as she grabbed a defenseless Kyanite and Pyrite.

"What?! How was I supposed to know?!" Cinnabar screamed as the communicator was snatched from Kyanite's hand and crushed to bits.

"HOWLITE!" Andesine screamed for her chief scientist to meet her. "Why didn't you tell us that there was backup power here?"

"Well, because I wanted us to fail, and I was a mole for the Crystal Gems this whole time." Howlite smiled before she screamed, "OBVIOUSLY, I DIDN'T KNOW!"

"No matter, it's just Hessonite coming for us." Dalmatian Jasper stated as the other Rutile Rebels gathered around their two red-colored bosses. "We got a little thing called strength in numbers."

"Well, we're going to need a lot of that strength to complete the mission." Cinnabar stated as Hessonite and Citrine marched into the central area of the prison before they tossed Kyanite and Pyrite to her feet. "Pitiful."

"So this is what Andesine meant when she said she surrendered." Citrine observed the prison riot. "I should've known she was planning to break all of you out."

"And we won't let you tell anyone about it." Andesine said while drawing her flaming sword from her gem and motioning for her followers to attack. "CHARGE!"

"And that's how we narrowly escaped the Trandoshans." Lars recounted a tale of his adventures to his parents, the Crystal Gems, and his friends at a welcome-back barbecue held at his old home. "Moral of the story is don't get in the way of their hunts. They'll make sure you pay the price."

"Sounds like you've had quite the adventures since you were last here," Garnet said. "though I'm sure ours might be some good competition."

"Yeah, we had a shipping war, a beach party, a spy adventure, a krav maga tournament, a talent show, became celebrities! We even met ourselves from another dimension!" Amethyst eagerly added. "You would not believe all the crazy stuff we've been through!"

"Those do sound pretty exciting," Fluorite answered slowly. "I wish we had been there to experience all of that."

"Yeah, sounds like Earth just got a little more exciting." Lars's mother agreed. "Are you still sure you want to keep doing your space adventures, Lars?"

"I'm sure, Mom." Lars answered. "Besides, now that I'm pretty much immortal, I'm probably going to outlive pretty much everyone here, and I don't think I ever want to experience that."

"Well, you do you, Lars." Sadie accepted. "But if you ever feel like stopping by again, my mom and I always have a room to spare."

"Thanks, Sadie." Lars smiled at his old co-worker. "Sure, I've had fun traveling the stars with the Off-Colors, but it wasn't without some problems. Like these snake people I've had a few close calls with."

"Wait a second, did you say snake people?!" Ronaldo yelled as he slammed his hands on the picnic table. "I knew it; I knew they were real!"

"Never a dull moment with you, Ronaldo." Dante shook his head in amusement while everyone else just gave him weird looks.

Back at Little Homeworld, Nacre was taking in the sights and sounds of Earth. Such a wonderful planet to be on, she thought while exploring Little Homeworld and greeting all the Gems she passed by. She hadn't felt this amazing since she used her powers to restore her creations to normal and gain her physical body to join them in saving Homeworld. But now, after spending so much time in the cold darkness of space, she yearned for a change of scenery. Sure, the Pearls visited many planets in their travels, but they only stayed for a short time due to their missions.

As Nacre sat down on a bench and serenely felt the air comb her body, she suddenly heard a faint voice talking. "-was able to get through to that Reginald Johnson fellow you've informed me about." The voice said. "He was a prejudiced psycho who uses his media influence to spread his garbage takes, but he's also pretty agreeable."

"Who said that?" Nacre muttered as she turned around to discover a nearby house resembling Black Rutile's old headquarters. Tiptoeing closer to the home, Nacre spied on Black Rutile through the window and saw her conversing on a computer with a blonde human in glasses.

"Excellent work Sally!" Black Rutile thanked her human associate. "Talking to him should be very entertaining."

"I could feel my brain shrinking with every word he said." Sally Grove groaned in annoyance. "This is why I never trusted men; they're all the same dumbasses who not only do not realize how much is handed to them but still think they're the victims when they mess everything up because of their lazy entitlement and fragile egos."

"Yeah yeah, I've heard it a thousand times from your videos." Black Rutile declared before she realized she was being watched. "Hang on a second; I need to take this. See you soon." She shut off the video and marched towards the window to find Nacre trying to hide from her. "I know you're out there, Pearl."

"How did you find me?!" Nacre shouted as she tried desperately to hide, even though it was hopeless.

"Word of advice, little one, I am far smarter than you realize." Black Rutile smirked back. "TOPAZ!" On cue, Topaz appeared to snatch Nacre by the waist with her massive hands. "Return this Pearl to her friends at once."

"Yes, my Rutile." Topaz nodded obediently before looking down at Nacre. "No hard feelings, okay?"

"Let me go!" Nacre yelled as she tried to wriggle free from Topaz's grip while being carried away, leaving Black Rutile alone with her thoughts.

"Should've known someone was onto me." Black Rutile shook her head disdainfully before going back inside.

The Pearls were now getting themselves situated at their ship-turned-Earth home. Cap was modifying all the rooms to be homier, Pony had laid out a carpet in the bridge, IQ was helping Braids move a couch into the ship, and Tails was moving some decorations around. "Nice choice of carpet there." Tails commented on the ornate Persian carpet with gold tassels, a blue outer section, and a purple inner section with red and gold patterns throughout. "Really ties the room together."

Just then, there was a knock at the door. "Ooh, I wasn't expecting company so soon!" Pony exclaimed cheerfully as she walked up to answer it. "Sorry, we'll throw a housewarming party lat-" She then realized that Nacre was being delivered to the Pearls by Topaz, who had a message for the five.

"Black Rutile wants you to know that she doesn't want anyone interfering with her plans," Topaz said glumly. "Otherwise, and I hate to say this, but there will be consequences." She then tossed Nacre into the ship before walking away.

"Nacre, what happened?!" Braids exclaimed while dropping the couch on IQ's foot and racing to check on the team's healer.

"I was simply enjoying being on Earth when I overheard Black Rutile talking with this wicked human on the computer," Nacre explained what she went through. "Or at least, I think that's what she felt like. She said such awful things about other humans, and it made me suspicious. I think Black Rutile might be plotting her revenge or something."

"Well, if that's the case, someone has to know," IQ said as she shapeshifted her foot away from the couch. "Púrén?"

"Yes, IQ?" the Servant's primary AI, Púrén, asked.

"Signal the Crystal Gems; we must tell them what's up." IQ declared. "And I think it's time we tell them about where we found her."

As the Black Pearls left the Servant, Black Rutile had been watching them through one of her spy drones, and she was not happy at how they finally went back on her deal. "Alas, I can't seem to trust anyone on this planet." She shook her head in dismay before turning to Aquamarine and Eyeball. "You two, I have some disloyal Pearls that just moved here."

"What do you want us to do, my Rutile?" Eyeball asked.

"Fuse and terminate them." Black Rutile answered while making a slashing motion across her neck. "Are we clear?"

"Very clear." Aquamarine snickered before she and her Ruby sidekick joined hands and fused into Bluebird Azurite, who laughed maniacally before flying away.

Later that day, as the barbecue was winding down and everyone said their goodbyes, Lars heard something coming from the Sun Incinerator. Getting onboard the ship, he pushed a button on the console that showed him a staticky image of a fearful Hessonite. Lars had never seen Hessonite so timorous before. "Uh, is something wrong, Hessonite?"

"Lars, help!" Hessonite cried, but her message was too garbled for the pink human to get the whole message. "-evan-666-Cinna-Andesi-break-Citrine-ship, save us! Plea-"The message abruptly ended, leaving Lars wondering what she meant.

"This is where scum like you belong!" Dalmatian Jasper growled as she tossed a freshly poofed Hessonite and Citrine into the same cell and shut it behind them. "And lucky us, you gave us a ship to use, too, since you destroyed all of them."

The rioting began quieting as the Rutile Rebels began boarding Hessonite's warship to escape Revanche 666 and search for Earth. "Well, this plan has surely been more successful than I thought." Andesine commented while leading the Gems in hijacking the ship. "I was expecting at least one of our minions to give their lives for the good of our cause."

"That's not very comforting." Howlite said calmly.

"I was hoping to see you be used as a meat shield," Amber smirked.

"Don't you start, Amber!" Howlite yelled at Amber before Andesine broke them up.

"Enough bickering; we have work to do." Andesine proclaimed. "Cinnabar, I hope you have a good excuse for when Black Rutile sees you."

"I understand, Andesine." Cinnabar muttered in acceptance of her possible terrible fate. "Whatever Black Rutile must do, I shall accept."

"Yeesh, real bring-down prison has turned her into." Zoisite snarked while walking alongside Dalmatian Jasper.

"At least she's less nihilistic than Xenotime," DJ added, much to Xenotime's anger.

"You make a few overdramatic declarations, and suddenly you're the emo of the group!" Xenotime complained just as Hessonite and Citrine reformed in their cell to see everyone leaving. "Hey, look, they're back!"

"You see what happens when you put too much faith in Steven?" Cinnabar smirked cruelly at the two vigilantes. "This is where it'll get you."

"You won't get away with this!" Hessonite cursed Cinnabar as she and Andesine left with the other Rutile Rebels. "Don't think you can just take my ship and leave!"

"Uh, Hessonite, you kinda forgot one thing," Citrine stated. "Yours is the only ship left here since you destroyed all the others to try and keep them from escaping. Not a great plan."

"Well, looks like we're stuck here," Hessonite replied, realizing her own recklessness at the worst moment. With her ship now in Andesine and Cinnabar's hands, Hessonite was stranded on Revanche 666 with no known way of getting help.

Back on Earth, the Pearls were informing the Crystal Gems at the temple of Black Rutile's plans and how she threatened them. Outside, however, Bluebird Azurite was hiding from sight with her ice saber at the ready. "At long last, a chance to finally kill two birds with one stone." She laughed deviously as the cutlass lit on fire. "Or, in this case, one sword."

"I don't think so!" Lars cried as he grabbed Bluebird from behind and suplexed her onto the deck. "The Pearls told me everything, and I have something to tell you." He added while picking up Bluebird by her wing. "Run. Run away, Bluebird, back to your master. And tell her that no matter what she has planned, the Crystal Gems will be coming for her soon."

"And you just ran away?!" Black Rutile began yelling in Bluebird's face when the fusion returned to give her the bad news. "Whatever, they know what I'm doing! But they still don't realize what I'll do to get there."

"I deeply apologize, my Rutile." Bluebird apologized to Black Rutile just as they heard a loud rumbling sound from outside. "Is it just me, or are there tons of things just coming from the sky lately?"

"One second." Black Rutile said while pulling up her visor to check her surroundings, in which she discovered Hessonite's warship hovering over the forest where Jasper once made her home. "Hessonite? What's she doing here?"

"I don't think that's Hessonite, my Rutile." Bluebird observed. "Otherwise, she'd be landing somewhere to meet the Crystal Gems, not out in the woods. Someone must've taken the ship from her."

"Well, let's not dawdle for so long! Let's get moving!" Black Rutile said as she grabbed onto Bluebird, and the two flew towards the forest, where they found Hessonite's ship waiting for them. When the pair landed, a large reverse pyramid detached from the ship and descended on top of Jasper's old cave, destroying it and allowing Andesine, Howlite, Amber, and Cinnabar's cabal to disembark.

"Black Rutile, we have brought you Cinnabar." Andesine declared and shoved Cinnabar forward to meet her old master for the first time in months. "Do with her as you may."

"Hello again, Cinnabar." Black Rutile ominously greeted her former apprentice. "I've been told what happened when you went against those Pearls. And now, thanks to you, they are living here on Earth. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'm sorry for everything Black Rutile, those Pearls had me outfoxed at every turn!" Cinnabar begged for forgiveness while dropping to her knees. "I accept any punishment you shall give me!"

Instead of punishing her, however, Black Rutile picked Cinnabar up by the collar of her jacket and gave her a tender pat on the head. "No need to cry, my friend." She said sympathetically. "It's not entirely your fault because your failures can all be traced to one source."

"Do I even need to ask?" Andesine asked.

"Yes, Steven." Black Rutile proclaimed. "Everything the Pearls did was in service of that little tyrant's corrupted paradise! But slowly but surely, I have been taking control of the creatures he loves most: humans. Now then, let me ask you one thing. People talk loud when they want to sound smart, right?"

"CORRECT!" Bloodstone yelled loudly as a demonstration of Black Rutile's point.

"Well, that is what I've discovered recently." Black Rutile continued. "My ventures through the Internet have allowed me to discover that there are tons of people out there who, no matter how poor their moral character is, everyone will believe whatever they say. And naturally, I have taken advantage of this."

"So what are you saying?" Cinnabar asked nervously.

"I'm saying my new plan is more personal than ever before." Black Rutile responded. "Now then, are you all with me?" The rebellious Gems said nothing, only getting on one knee and bowing in reverence of their genius leader. "That's just what I needed to hear." She declared evilly as the Rutile Rebels began coming back together under her banner.

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 23: Eye of the Beholder

"Howdy folks, my name is Ross Roberts, and welcome to this week's installment of The Wonders of Creativity." A painter in a ridiculously huge afro said in an incredibly soothing voice to his viewers at home. Viewers like Squaridot, for example, who was watching the program very intently. "For this episode, we're going to paint a nice little picture of a cozy cabin in the woods. That's right." The host began his demonstration by showing off each of his paints as he stuck his brush in them. "Now then, we're just going to start with a little Virtuous Viridian for the grass. Can't have a forest without grass."

"Fascinating." Squaridot muttered in wonder as Ross Roberts continued painting his forest scene and giving instructions overly relaxingly.

"I do declare; we're making some good progress so far." Ross stated after he finished painting the grass, some happy little trees, and the beginnings of a bright sun in the sky." He then dabbed his brush in some blue, which he dubbed Blue Angels. "Now then, let's add some Blue Angels into the mix to form a clear summer sky." Unfortunately, Ross lost his grip and accidentally spilled his entire pallet onto his canvas, much to Squaridot's shock and dismay. "Whoo, that did not go the way I wanted it to!" he exclaimed at his own clumsiness before turning to his viewer with a shrug. "But that's okay. Oftentimes in art, you make mistakes, but they can also be opportunities to learn. I may not have gotten the painting I wanted, but I can still make something new out of it."

"Like what?" Squaridot asked Ross, even though he could not answer, before he pulled out a paintball gun from off-screen and fired it at his canvas, stunning Squaridot as the canvas was utterly pelted with paintballs. "WOW!"

"There now, that ain't so bad." Ross declared serenely. "Now then, I'm afraid that's all the time we have for today, folks. So from all of us here, I'd like to wish you a happy painting; God bless us, everyone, and remember, hugs, not drugs." The program then ended, leaving Squaridot amazed at how Ross Roberts was so calm the entire episode.

"That was so interesting!" Squaridot gasped to herself. "I never realized how you can do literally anything with art! I must tell somebody about this." Luckily, she knew exactly who to tell about her experience.

"Not bad, you guys." Lapis complimented her sculpting students' work elsewhere in Little Homeworld. "Hey, if you want, you can submit your work to a meep morp show we're putting on later today."

"Excellent." Black Rutile declared while creating a sculpture of herself from clay. "I've been constantly pondering building a statue to myself in honor of how amazing I am, and I must display it for all to see."

"Boy, you're as conceited as ever." Peridot stuck her tongue out at Black Rutile before seeing Squaridot rush up to her. "Oh, Squaridot, good day to you."

"Peridot, I come to tell you something that I really want to do!" Squaridot exclaimed eagerly. "I want to do some art!"

"Oh, took you long enough!" Peridot laughed heartily at her squarer counterpart. "Though Lapis and I prefer to call them meep morps, we're okay if you insist on calling it art."

"Good to see a fellow artist among us," Lapis added. "What made you want to pursue it, Square?"

"I was just binging episodes upon episodes of Ross Roberts' The Wonders of Creativity," Squaridot answered. "I've just been suckered into how soothing the host's voice was."

"Yeah, that is definitely a big draw of the program," Peridot stated with a hand on Squaridot's shoulder. "But on a related subject, let's talk about all the different kinds of meep morps you can do! For example, Lapis teaches sculpting, but there's also painting, drawing, literature, photography, and music. Or you can do what we do and throw random things together to make something new."

"Hey, that reminds me," Squaridot replied. "what made you two pursue art, and why do you call it meep morps?"

"Well, I chose to call them meep morps because I thought it would be funny," Lapis revealed. "I mean, just those words together kept making me laugh, and it just stuck."

"As for how we got into artwork, that's quite a tale," Peridot added. "You see, it all started when we were making ourselves home at the barn."

"Well, Lapis, how are you doing remaking this old barn?" Peridot asked Lapis while the two were busy remodeling the barn to fit their needs. Earlier that day, Lapis had tossed a truck into the wall above the big doors as a way of venting her frustrations with Jasper, and that gave Peridot the idea to spruce up the place instead of leaving it to be devoured by the numerous termites lurking there.

"Coming along nicely," Lapis replied while lifting up the silo with a pair of water arms and positioning it at the side of the barn. "You're good to go now!"

"Excellent!" Peridot declared before she welded the silo into the wall with her tools. "That should do the trick; the barn's exterior has officially been overhauled. Now what to do about the inside?"

"Not sure if we really need a fridge or heating or something," Lapis observed the current status of their pet project. "What do you think?"

"I don't know; maybe some art could do," Peridot suggested before pulling out her tablet and looking up art pieces online. "Unfortunately, a lot of these seem ridiculously expensive. I mean, this old Japanese painting of an orange fire ninja fighting a blue ice ninja is worth $1,081,992! Do you know how much that's worth in Minerals?!"

"Beats me; I was never really up to date on the Gem economy." Lapis shrugged while Peridot crunched the Gem equivalent of such a price.

"About 89,1006 minerals!" Peridot yelled in response and shoved her tablet in Lapis's face. "We don't have that kind of money!"

"So, are you suggesting we make some ourselves?" Lapis suggested. "What ideas do you have?"

"I'm glad you asked." Peridot proclaimed as she looked around the farm. "There's just so much we can do with all this old junk lying around. Plus, it could be a good, and less dangerous, way of coping with stress."

"Yeah, I like the sound of that meep morp." Lapis agreed before she started laughing. "Oh my stars, why did I think that?!" she chuckled. "It's just such a funny word!"

"That did sound pretty funny!" Peridot added while rolling on the grass in amusement. "Why don't we start calling out art pieces meep morps?!"

"Yeah, great idea!" Lapis continued laughing before she realized what she and Peridot just did. "Wait, what?"

Back in the present and later in the day, Squaridot had begun work on her own meep morp to enter into the art show with help from Peridot, Lapis, Laz, and Zuli. For her first attempt, she had constructed a perfect replica of her old Attack Pod from back when she was a servant of Hessonite. "Well, what do you think? Not bad for my first attempt, huh?"

"Yeah, not half bad," Peridot responded while knocking on the replica Attack Pod. "It looks almost like the real thing!"

"That's because it is!" Squaridot proclaimed. "Well, partially the real thing. Do you know that whole Ship of Theseus thing? Well, I basically took what I could find of the original Attack Pod and replaced everything that was broken! In a way, I basically rebuilt it."

"Yeah, but how much of the original is still left, I wonder?" Zuli asked quizzically.

"Let's not get too deep into this." Laz stopped Zuli's philosophizing in its tracks before she knocked on the statue. "You sure this isn't going to turn on at any moment and go on a rampage?"

"Oh nonsense, I took very special precautions to ensure such a thing won't happen!" Squaridot exclaimed nervously before the machine suddenly activated. "Oh no."

"TARGET CONFIRMED; INITIATE ASSAULT." The Attack Pod droned as it fired away at its surroundings, causing nearby Gems to panic while Squaridot awkwardly shuffled away.

"No, wait, come back!" Peridot yelled as she chased after the Attack Pod.

"Wait here, Squaridot, we'll handle this," Lapis said as she flew up and followed Peridot to stop the Pod.

"So, very special precaution, eh?" Laz smirked at a very nervous Squaridot.

"I'm so sorry for all of this." Squaridot meekly apologized.

"Don't worry, squirt," Zuli cheered Squaridot up. "Hopefully, we can find some other form of art that won't start destroying everything in sight!"

Once Peridot and Lapis stopped the rampaging Attack Pod, they returned to training Squaridot in the ways of meep morps. This time, they sat her in front of an easel with a set of paints. "Okay, so what do you want me to do now?" Squaridot asked.

"Anything, ah doy!" Lapis advised Squaridot. "That's the beauty of painting; you can basically do whatever you want. Then again, the same goes for all kinds of art."

"Anything I want, huh? Then anything you shall get!" Squaridot declared as she got to work on her painting. When she finished, however, Peridot and the Lapides quickly noticed how familiar the smiling woman she painted was. "How do you like it?"

"Hate to break it to you, but that's already been done." Laz gave her critiques.

"But on the plus side, I love how you perfectly recreated it." Zuli added politely.

"Wait, you mean to tell me someone already painted this?!" Squaridot complained before she threw her finished painting away and started anew. "I must find something else to paint, something way more original!"

"Don't get so discouraged; you'll find your footing." Peridot calmed Squaridot's nerves before discovering that the other Peridot had now completed a painting of a human man with two pairs of his arms and legs superimposed on him and spread apart. "See, you're getting good at it!"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure I've seen that one before too," Lapis added while resisting the urge to laugh at the nude man Squaridot just created. "Try another!"

"Will do!" Squaridot declared before painting what looked like a massive tidal wave looming over three boats in a storm. "No!" she complained before throwing it away and painting what looked like a beautiful starry night. "No!"

"What are they doing?" Jasper muttered as she and White Topaz watched Squaridot paint the day away.

"Looks like Squaridot is painting." White Topaz observed. "Should we go help her? She's looking really distressed."

"Naw, this is something she has to do herself." Jasper coldly replied before walking away from her girlfriend. "Come on, Paz, let's check up on the rest of the entrants."

For what felt like hours, Squaridot accidentally recreated famous paintings only to throw them out and start again. Feeling increasingly discouraged, she eventually gave up and threw her pallet on the canvas.

"Hey, this looks good!" Lapis pointed out.

"No, this is exactly what Ross Roberts did!" Squaridot complained before throwing that canvas away as well. "What else can we do?"

Another kind of meep-morping that Squaridot attempted was sculpting, and she had Lapis and Peridot serve as her models. She hoped beyond belief that things would go right this time, that the Attack Pod wouldn't show up again, or she'd end up ripping off some other famous artwork.

"Good, good," Squaridot muttered to herself while looking over at Lapis posing with Peridot on her lap. "Not bad so far. Ooh, this is looking fantastic!"

"Maybe this won't fail this time," Laz said hopefully as Squaridot finished her sculpture and presented it to her models.

"How does it look?" Squaridot asked eagerly while presenting her finished product to the two Gems.

"Hey, not bad!" Lapis complimented Squaridot's sculpture, relieved that nothing will go wrong for once. "I really like how you captured Peridot's energy here."

"Oh, finally!" Squaridot sighed in relief when she realized something. "But I think it could be better."

"Oh lord, it's good enough!" Laz snapped at Squaridot's negative self-talk. "You did good enough!"

"Hey Laz, calm down!" Zuli tried to settle Laz's anger. "Though really, it's not like you're going to accidentally drop it on the ground and ruin it."

"Well, I am far more careful than that," Squaridot said while gently putting the sculpture down, only to step on it accidentally. "Great." She muttered disdainfully before walking away. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to deal with artist's block now."

"Squaridot, wait!" Peridot yelled and chased after the other Peridot. "You can't just give up that easily!"

"I'm not giving up; I just need new ideas!" Squaridot clarified and took a deep breath. "Would you like to know what I was doing after you saved me from the ship?"

"I don't know. What?" Peridot asked.

"I joined Black Rutile," Squaridot answered, much to Peridot's surprise. "No, it's not what you think! I was only with her for a few months before Hessonite found me! Let me explain. Initiate super wavy flashback effect!"

Almost immediately after being saved by the Crystal Gems from Hessonite's warship and being brought up to speed on Era 3, Squaridot was scooped up by Morganite during the early stages of the Rutile Rebels' formation to hopefully indoctrinate another victim of the Crystal Gems' oppression into their cause.

During their time together, Morganite helped Squaridot develop and master her ferrokinetic abilities, and they built many of Black Rutile's war machines and technology together, such as surveillance drones, dropships, and weapons of mass destruction. However, Squaridot felt that Black Rutile wasn't really fighting for the good of all Gems; she was just an angry bigot who refused to let go of her past.

"How has your training been progressing, 4E3M-7ZY?" Morganite asked Squaridot one evening while the Peridot was in the middle of meditation. "I hope you've been keeping up on your education."

"I'm doing well, Morganite," Squaridot answered. "Black Rutile's nuclear fusion device is almost done; we must make some final touches. Once it's done, we can finally use it to force the Decapodians into servitude."

"Excellent work, Peridot," Morganite said with a smile and a pat on Squaridot's head. "I knew we could put your genius to good use." Suddenly, security alarms began going off, signifying that an intruder may have entered the facility. "What's going on?"

"Morganite, we have a break-in!" a Ruby soldier declared from the other side of the room. "That Hessonite just laid siege to our base and is taking down every Gem in sight!"

"Her again?!" Morganite growled before she turned to Squaridot. "You stay here; I'll deal with her!"

"That won't be necessary, Morganite," Hessonite said as she suddenly appeared behind the renegade designer and prepared to strike. Still, Morganite thought fast and made Hessonite's sword collide with her Rejuvenator. "Stop what you're doing right now, and come quietly!"

"Never; she has come too far to give up now!" Morganite retorted before turning back to Squaridot. "What are you waiting for, Peridot? Leave now!"

"Wait, Peridot?!" Hessonite exclaimed. "Which Peridot?"

"Peridot Facet-4E3M Cut-7ZY." Squaridot reintroduced herself to Hessonite. "Fancy seeing you again, Hessonite. How have you been doing?"

"Ever since I helped Steven stop Demantoid and Pyrope, a lot of vigilante work fighting rebel Gems," Hessonite stated before knocking the Rejuvenator out of Morganite's hand. "Morganite was but one of the Gems I've been tracking down."

"Don't think about taking her away from me!" Morganite said while backflipping away. "This Peridot is but one of the innocent Gems that I saved from being brainwashed by the Crystal Gems, and I won't let you capture another!"

"I was not brainwashed!" Squaridot exclaimed. "They simply offered me a new life, and I simply turned it down for now."

"Well, what do you say, Peridot," Hessonite replied. "still willing to accept a second chance?"

"Don't listen to her; it's a trap!" Morganite begged Squaridot. "Just go away so Hessonite and I can talk one-to-one." She then pointed at Hessonite. "Just you and me and my GUARDS!" At Morganite's command, an army of Jasper and Amethyst guards burst into Morganite's chamber to assist their boss against the intruder. "Seize the traitor to the old ways!"

"One Morganite and nineteen Quartzes against little old me sounds like pretty bad odds," Hessonite observed just as Squaridot walked up beside her, wielding a pipe.

"Yeah, for them." Squaridot declared as the two charged into battle against the guards. "And by the way, call me Squaridot."

"If you say so," Hessonite replied.

"So, after defeating the guards and escaping, Hessonite decided to take me in as one of her sidekicks." Squaridot finished explaining her flashback to Peridot. "As you can observe, I didn't stick around long enough to absorb Black Rutile's manifesto, which leads us to today."

"Now, what does that have to do with our current situation?" Peridot asked. "And why didn't I hear about this before now, and yet this is being treated like this has always happened?"

"What I'm trying to say is that just like how Hessonite gave me a new approach, I need a new approach again right now," Squaridot said before a familiar voice began echoing through her mind.

"Oftentimes in art, you make mistakes, but they can also be opportunities to learn. I may not have gotten the painting I wanted, but I can still make something new out of it." Squaridot imagined a floating Ross Roberts head appearing on her shoulder, repeating the lesson he learned from his painting mistake before slowly fading away. "Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes, mistakes…."

"Wait a second, that's it!" Squaridot proclaimed excitedly. "I made so many mistakes today, but what if I can do something with all those mistakes?!"

"That's a stellar idea!" Peridot replied. "Where did you get that idea?"

"Just some voices in my head reminding me of what I heard earlier," Squaridot answered. "Been happening a lot lately."

"That's what we call using your head, Squaridot." A wrinkly green face with a male voice in Squaridot's head agreed.

"You have a good idea there." Another green face with a female voice added.

"WESLEY." A strange robotic voice declared.

Later that day, the art show had finally begun with Gems from all over Little Homeworld coming over to display the meep morps they spent that day creating, ranging from paintings to statues, photographs, and more; everybody had a method of art that they wanted to show off.

"And here we have this magnanimous statue dedicated to me." Black Rutile explained the bronze statue of herself holding one hand out while the other was holding the hand of Aquamarine as the two stood on top of Steven's dead body. "I consider this a monument to the idea of perseverance and how in the face of seemingly impossible odds, truth, justice, and a better tomorrow will always find a way."

"Oh, that's nothing; witness my statue!" Desert Glass proclaimed while making her sand sculpture of herself animate itself through her movements. "Try and beat that."

"Guys, this doesn't need to be a competition." Chest Rose said while she, Navy Rose, and Shoulder Rose demonstrated their meep morp, which was made up of various objects, all stuck together to make a collage. "I gathered up all the materials."

"So that's what happened to the trash bags!" Amethyst exclaimed, pointing out some of the items used for the Roses' piece.

"As for our piece, we'd like to show off pictures of all our previous adventures," Nacre said before she and the Black Pearl Brigade presented photos of their bounty-hunting adventures, ranging from their showdown with Mr. Manco on Sergione-29, meeting Sylvia Spectre, vacationing on Kyukanza, and many more.

"We truly had some glorious adventures." Braids declared.

"Some you may not have even heard of before, like this one," Cap added before presenting a picture of an adventure to the planet Yorha. "Sculder felt really at home here, but he had to choose between living among his fellow machines or sticking with us."

"But eventually, after we convinced the Yorhans to get off their shiny metal asses and help stop Andesine, they realized that Sculder's real home was on the Servant," Pony stated while the Pearls' robot companion Sculder gave a thumbs up.

"I simply painted this picture of a number 2 pencil for my artwork." Teal Zircon said before pulling a tarp off her painting of a pencil and holding a pencil in her hands to compare. "I don't know why I painted this, but it helped me remember that the most important thing in life is to use a number 2 pencil." She then angrily growled, "Number 2!"

"That is certainly a unique idea for art." Garnet raised an eyebrow. "Pearls, what did you do?"

"Our piece was far more refined than all of this!" Yellow Pearl boasted as she, Blue Pearl, and Volleyball presented a tribute to the struggles Pearls faced in the old days. "We dub this piece Little Rebellions. Carnelian and her Jasper friend helped us with this one."

"Thanks for giving us credit!" Skinny Jasper exclaimed as she and Carnelian clapped.

"Woo, go, Pearls!" Carnelian whooped.

"And finally, let's see what Squaridot did." White Topaz stated while turning to Squaridot, who replied by pulling off a tarp revealing an amalgamation of all her attempts at art thus far. Her paintings now decorated the arms and legs of the subdued Attack Pod, and at the top was her destroyed sculpture of Peridot & Lapis. "Ooh, this looks neat! What do you call this one?"

"I call my piece "Mistakes," after an epiphany I had from my continued attempts at meep morps." Squaridot explained. "I got it from an episode of The Wonders of Creativity with Ross Roberts, and he made a mistake just like me when making meep morps, but he could take it in stride because he says they can also be opportunities to learn. I may not have gotten the painting I wanted, but I can still make something new out of it."

"That is really profound." IQ gasped in awe as everybody started clapping.

"Not bad little Peridot, not bad at all." Tails agreed with IQ.

"Please, Holly, and could do better than that." Cat's Eye confidently stated.

"Don't get too cocky, Cat." Holly Blue advised.

"We're so proud of you." Peridot and the three Lapises said in unison.

As Squaridot began taking a bow for her efforts, she noticed Morganite standing among the applauding Gems, who then gave her an approving nod. The two may have parted ways, but Squaridot still saw that Morganite held some respect for her.

But hidden in the crowd, Black Rutile used the applause to further her devious plots. A quick trip with the Warp Pad allowed her to steal some Gem shards left over from the Diamonds' dismantling of the Cluster and the various Cluster experiments. In particular, Black Rutile got her hands on the fragments of a Phoenix Lapis Lazuli, an Emerald, two Citrines, and a Demantoid, which she knew would be perfect for adding to her forces and satisfying the needs of one of her subordinates.

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 24: The Gem-Lympics

In the center of a small, homemade stadium outside of Little Homeworld, a grand sporting event for the ages was about to take place. Beneath a large torch peeking out of the stadium's open-air roof, two teams of Gem athletes stood side by side for the pleasure of a cheering crowd of Gems and humans alike. On one side, Black Rutile, Cat's Eye, Amazonite, Tanzanite, and Apatite stood together, flying the flag of the Rutile Rebels. On the other side, Desert Glass, Albite, Serpentine, Tiger's Eye, and Beryl assembled under the banner of the Crystal Gems. The Gem-Lympics had officially begun.

"Good day, America, and welcome to the first official Gem-Lympics!" Pearl, the commentator, declared as she and Garnet provided commentary for the event. "I'm Pearl, standing here with my cohost Garnet to report on the opening ceremonies as we welcome our competitors to the field."

"That's right, Pearl." Garnet added. "For those wondering what the Gem-Lympics is, it's basically the Olympics but with Gems competing instead of humans. Two teams of five shall compete, with each member from both teams going head-to-head in five different sports. Me, Pearl, and Amethyst shall serve as the judges for each event and rate every competitor's performance on a scale from one to ten. Whichever team wins the most points shall win the competition."

"And now, here's a performance by Amethyst to conclude the opening ceremonies." Pearl declared as Amethyst stepped up to the stadium field with a microphone in hand and started to sing.

"Ave Maria, gratia plena. Maria, gratia plena. Maria, gratia plena." Amethyst sang for the now silent spectators. "Ave, ave dominus. Dominus tecum, benedicta tu in mulieribus. Et benedictus, benedictus fructus, fructus ventris. Ventris tui, Jesus."

"Wow, she has a surprisingly beautiful voice." Cat's Eye commented on Amethyst's singing as Team Black Rutile huddled up.

"Ladies, I have gathered you here on this momentous occasion, for you represent the best, the brightest, the only ones who were willing to join my team." Black Rutile stated. "I tried asking everyone else, but Aquamarine & Eyeball were too busy, Holly Blue found this to be totally ridiculous, and Cinnabar & Andesine were more focused on getting acquainted with Earth."

"So, what are your goals for this Olympic contest?" Amazonite asked. "Do you perhaps plan on rigging the events in our favor or maybe frame the opponents for cheating?"

"No, far from that." Black Rutile answered. "In fact, we are going to play by the rules, and I use the term loosely, and we'll play so properly that the opposing team will be accused of cheating!"

"Wait, this is your plan now?" Tanzanite groaned in disgust. "I've been told you really love making everything super complex, but this is just taking it too far."

"I agree; this is bad comedy." Apatite agreed. "Don't know why I bothered agreeing to this."

"Hey, chill out, everyone; I know exactly what I'm doing!" Black Rutile proudly replied just as Amethyst finished singing, signifying that the games were about to begin. "Now then, try and look as inconspicuous as possible, and the gold is as good as ours!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our first event of the games!" Bismuth exclaimed into a microphone as she stood on a gymnastics mat with Cat's Eye and Tiger's Eye standing on either side of it. Cat's Eye had doffed her fancy hat and trenchcoat in favor of a yellowish-brown gymnastic leotard and pulled her hair into a ponytail. Tiger's Eye wore similar attire, with her leotard having a white stripe going up her arms and around her neck, along with white and pink stripes around her torso. "For our first event, we got these two cool cats going head-to-head in rhythmic gymnastics! As I'm sure you're informed, whoever gets a higher score will win!"

"Hey, may the best Gem win, Cat." Tiger's Eye warmly said to Cat's Eye.

"Well, face it, Tiger, I'm due to hit the jackpot." Cat smugly replied with a smirk.

"And to set the mood, we present some music from the Japanese electro-swing rock band, MAD RAT DEAD," Bismuth said while pulling out a boombox and pressing play, cuing the event to begin as Cat and Tiger started showing their gymnastic prowess for the crowd. Fittingly enough, the song 'Black Fear' sounded like a cat meowing, befitting the two feline-like Gems competing against each other.

"Puh-lease, I can do so much better!" Cat's Eye scoffed at Tiger's Eye, eating up the cheering before she pulled her riding crop from her gem and turned it into a ribbon wand to dance with. "My athletic skills are far superior to yours!"

"Oh yeah? Well, two can play at that game!" Tiger replied as she pulled a bo staff from her Gem and broke it in two, turning the staff into a pair of batons for her to use in her act. "You're not the only one planning to use your weapon like this." The contest then began heating up between the two, with their acrobatic acts becoming increasingly over the top as the cat Gems tried to outdo each other. Tiger's Eye sprang into the air and struck various poses to the amazement of her fans. Meanwhile, Cat's Eye remained on the ground and did some genuinely spellbinding stunts with her ribbon dancing.

"2, 4, 6, 8, which of these cats is doing great?!" a cheering squad consisting of Lapis, Laz, Zuli, the Diamonds' Pearls, and the Black Pearl Brigade chanted before the song reached its end, leaving the stadium quiet as the judges made their decision.

"Please pick me; please pick me!" Cat chanted to herself with fingers crossed.

"Don't get yourself too excited." Tiger rolled her eyes with a smile.

"We've come to an agreement." Garnet proclaimed. "Tiger's Eye, though you showed excellent skill and agility, we'll ultimately have to give the gold medal to Cat's Eye for her extensive creativity with the ribbon."

"YES! YEEEESSSS!" Cat's Eye shrieked with delight and mockingly pointed at Tiger's Eye. "In your face Tiger, I'm way more creative than you! How does that feel?!" Despite her taunting laughter, Tiger's Eye took her loss in stride and shook her opponent's hand.

"Hey, good game." Tiger declared. "Maybe if we ever do this again, we can have a little rematch."

"We'll see," Cat replied as she accepted Tiger's handshake while waving to Black Rutile, hiding in the audience, who was very satisfied with what she had witnessed.

"I can't believe we're being forced to do this," Aquamarine complained as she sat next to Eyeball in the stands. "What's even the point of such a silly event?!"

"Oh, hush up, my plan is positively foolproof!" Black Rutile declared. "You're just jealous that you couldn't come up with anything better!"

"They're going to catch on eventually," Eyeball replied. "I feel like your new plan now is just a bunch of random events being strung together by complete coincidence!"

"I'm only biding my time by keeping everyone distracted and building up my follower-base." Black Rutile explained. "Once all the pieces are on the board, I can take the Crystal Gems by surprise. After all, the best puppeteers never use strings."

"Guacola, get your Guacola here!" Marty yelled as he tried selling his disgusting wares to the public, even though nobody would either buy it or even be able to taste it. "Come on, help a man out, will ya?!"

"Oh, Marty, fancy seeing you here!" Black Rutile cheerfully greeted her human second in command. "Still selling that disgusting drink, I see."

"It's a sporting event; I have to!" Marty complained. "But nobody's buying! I swear I made it less vomitrocious this time!"

"Once done, never forgotten, as they say." Black Rutile responded.

Later that day, Apatite and Desert Glass were standing side by side on a running track while Peridot stood beside the track with a starting pistol. "Okay, ladies, welcome to the 400-meter run!" Peridot declared. "First one to make it the whole way through is the winner!"

"Why did I get selected for this event?" Apatite asked while looking over at Desert Glass doing some stretches at the starting line. "Well, regardless, good luck out there, Glass."

"Thank you so much; I wish you luck too." Desert Glass said politely. "Provided there aren't any dangerous obstacles in our way."

"Are you ready?!" Peridot yelled as the two Gems got into starting position. "One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready; now go, Gems, go!" When Peridot fired the starting pistol, Desert Glass and Apatite ran like the wind. Four hundred meters was a very trying length, but everyone was on the edge of their seat regardless. However, a shocking turn of events came partway through, around 250 meters.

Apatite, who was already lagging behind Desert Glass, began to lose breath and panted harshly as her competition sped by with grace. "You know what? Screw you guys; I'm going home." She declared before shuffling off the running track and towards the stadium exit. "I don't get enough time for this."

"Hey, get back here; the race isn't finished yet!" Peridot yelled after Apatite, but she was too far away to listen. "Ah, forget it; she didn't care anyways." Behind her back, Desert Glass had just crossed the finish line, making Peridot realize she still had a race to observe. "And the winner is Desert Glass!"

"Oh, thank you, thank you all!" Desert Glass exclaimed as the crowd began cheering for her victory. "You're all too kind!"

"I knew she was a liability." Black Rutile facepalmed in disgust at Apatite giving up so soon. "Maybe I should've had someone else instead of her, like Holly Blue or something. At least she wouldn't surrender so easily."

In the next event, Albite and Tanzanite stood face to face on opposing sides of a ping pong table while White Topaz stood over the table. "You know the drill by now, everyone; the first one to score the most points wins!"

"Ping pong? Not the sport I expected to compete in, but I plan to have fun nonetheless." Albite muttered while contemplating her ping-pong paddle.

"Child's play." Tanzanite scoffed arrogantly. "I was a master assassin turned soldier during the Rebellion and Pearl's apprentice. This should be easy."

"Don't get too cocky!" Albite declared. "You should know I was a veteran gladiator before joining the Crystal Gems! My combat expertise far excels yours!"

"Are you two just going to keep smack-talking each other, or are you going to play?" White Topaz interrupted the two competitors. "We're wasting daylight here!"

"Right, sorry." Albite apologized to the other white Gem. "Hopefully, I've watched enough of that ping-pong anime to know what to do here."

"Are you ready?" White Topaz announced. "Now go!" The game got off to a rousing start. Though both competitors knew little of the sport they were playing, they were driven by their desire to win above all else. Eventually, it came down to the wire as Tanzanite was just one point shy of winning the game.

"Okay, Tanzy, just gotta score this one last point, and hopefully, I'll prove to the Crystal Gems that they were so wrong for lying to me," Tanzanite muttered to herself while keeping her eye on the ball. "Think of this like taking down a rogue Gem back in your assassin days, and you'll do fine." Tanzanite threw the ball onto the table and smacked it toward Albite, and she thought she had this game in the bag, but she was too distracted by her own hype to notice that Albite had her beat and got a ping pong ball in the eye for it.

"And the winner is Albite!" White Topaz cheered. "Sorry, Tanzanite, you were too consumed by your own hype to notice."

"I AM THE HYPE!" Tanzanite yelled in disgust as she got up and took the ball out of her eye. "This is an outrage, I tell you, an outrage!"

"When I came all the way from Ocean Town, I expected a gathering of idiots, not a rip-off of the Olympics!" Sally Grove complained just as much as she sat in the stands next to Emerald. "So, what's your story?"

"I wasn't selected to join Black Rutile's team because she thought I wasn't all that athletic," Emerald stated. "Can you believe it?! I'm perfectly athletic; I just haven't had time to get out and work out much lately!"

For the penultimate event, a pair of targets were set up for Beryl and Amazonite to work with as they held bows and arrows in their hands. In this event, they were competing in archery.

"Archery, eh? How quaint." Amazonite mused while looking back and forth between her bow and Beryl. "Don't think this is any old sport, little Beryl. It takes skill, focus, and utmost precision to become a master. There are stories of a human named Robin Hood who was especially gifted with this weapon, and he used it as a swashbuckling hero of legend who gave to the poor what he stole from the-you're not listening, are you?"

Beryl was indeed not paying attention to Amazonite's speech. Instead, she focused more on playing with her arrows and plucking at her bowstring like a guitar. "Don't touch that!" Amazonite yelled as she snatched the bow away from Beryl. "That string is very delicate; your entire performance depends on it!"

"Can we please get on with it?" Jasper asked Amazonite. "We're wasting so much time here! Now then, are we ready?"

"Ready!" Amazonite and Beryl declared as they readied their arrows.

"Go!" Jasper yelled, cuing the two to fire at the targets. Surprisingly, Amazonite fired her arrow straight at the bullseye while Beryl struggled to do the same. Feeling confident in herself, Amazonite strode down the archery range and began firing at every other target present with the exact precision she spoke of earlier, making everybody wonder if that was allowed.

"Wow, Amazonite really did it." Jasper gawked at Amazonite's skill with a bow and arrow before turning to Beryl. "Can Beryl come up to par?" Although Beryl felt a little jealous of how easily Amazonite pulled off her stunt, she still tried her best regardless by imitating her opponent's feat. While she did land a few hits, ultimately, Beryl lost to the superior archer Gem.

"Oh well, looks like you won." Beryl good-naturedly said to Amazonite and stuck up her little hand to shake with. "Good game."

"Perhaps if we weren't on opposing sides, I'd teach you how to shoot an arrow properly," Amazonite said as she accepted the handshake. "But for now, I'll give you at least one tip." She added before kneeling to the tiny Gem's height. "To successfully make a shot, you gotta follow and master basic steps. Your stance is the foundation. Where you draw your strength. Nock the arrow and grip. Realize you are wielding a weapon. Mindset. Focus solely on your goal, regardless of your surroundings. Be in the now. Set up and draw."

"Wow, thanks, Amy!" Beryl exclaimed as she hugged Amazonite's leg, making her blush in surprise while everyone awww'd.

"Now that's just wholesome." James Brenner commented on the heartwarming sight before discovering that Black Rutile glared at him. "What?"

"It won't matter anyways; I'm next." Black Rutile stated as she got up and walked away to prepare for the final event. "Once everyone sees my excellent performance against Serpentine, they will be all over me."

"Are you still sure this is a good idea in service of your revenge plot?" James asked Black Rutile while grabbing onto her wrist. "My aunt once stated that revenge is like a poison. It can take you over, and before you know it, it can turn you into something ugly."

"Don't bother me with your sympathy." Black Rutile said, pulling herself out of her psychologist's grasp. "Are you questioning me, doctor?"

"No, my Rutile," James muttered fearfully before he watched Black Rutile leave the stands. "Absolute power corrupts absolutely, as they say."

"Welcome everybody to the final event of the games!" Garnet announced. "For our grand finale, the final members of each team will compete in fencing, and whoever is the victor shall win the Gem-Lympics! Team Black Rutile has managed to win three events out of five, but can Team Desert Glass edge out a tie? We shall see. Competitors, approach!"

Black Rutile and Serpentine marched toward each other with swords in hand, ready for a fight. Serpentine carried a saber, while Black Rutile equipped herself with her sword. "We meet again, old friend." Black Rutile declared while pointing her sword at her opponent.

"Likewise, old friend," Serpentine replied. "Fear me if you dare!"

"Hope you two are ready!" Garnet announced. "Now go!" The two Gems lunged at each other and clashed weapons, old friends being pitted against each other as current enemies. "Let's see who will possibly take home one last medal!"

"Go go, Serpentine, make her hiss!" Lapis and her cheering squad chanted as Serpentine jabbed Black Rutile with her saber.

"Remember when we experimented on the Vortexxer together?!" Serpentine asked as she swiftly dodged Black Rutile's attacks. "I couldn't believe it when you dug up that old thing and finished what the two of us and Bloodstone started! And, of course, you had to use it for evil!"

"I don't consider myself fully evil; I'm nuanced!" Black Rutile declared herself. "If only you could see that I'm just doing what I think is right for all of us, especially you! Why don't you get that?!"

"You're a wanted terrorist doing time here; how can I not disagree with you?!" Serpentine argued back. "Admit it; you're too upset about the change to admit how flawed your worldview is! You keep accusing Steven and Pink Diamond of being infantile to project how infantile you are onto them!"

Enraged at such an accusation, Black Rutile grabbed the hilt of her sword with both hands and knocked Serpentine's weapon out of her hands before doing a sweeping low kick that sent her tumbling to the ground. "Touché!"

"And the winner is Black Rutile!" Garnet exclaimed, and there was much rejoicing. "I'm surprised, Black Rutile, you didn't cheat once and played fair. That is so unlike you."

However, Black Rutile wasn't delighted with the outcome. "THAT WAS EXACTLY MY PLAN; I WAS GOING TO PLAY SO FAIRLY THAT THE OTHER TEAM WOULD BE DISQUALIFIED FOR CHEATING!" she screamed angrily. "WHY DO BARELY ANY OF MY PLANS EVER GO THE WAY I WANT THEM TO GO?!"

"Oh dear, she's really mad," Garnet muttered nervously. "Let's just cut to the awards ceremony and end this already."

At the awards ceremony, all the competitors received their medals for each event. The Rutile Rebels had won three medals thanks to Black Rutile, Cat's Eye, and Amazonite, while the Little Homeworld denizens had earned two medals for Albite and Desert Glass's victories. Despite Black Rutile's ranting and raving about how her current plan had gone up in smoke, the Rutile Rebels saw this as their first victory in a long while.

"Oh my stars, Black Rutile just won the Gem-Lympics!" Pyrope gasped in shock.

"Let's destroy this entire stadium to show our appreciation for the team!" Demantoid suggested eagerly, causing everybody in the stadium to riot and tear it apart.

"WOO, RIOT!" Carnelian hollered eagerly as she bit into the water cooler with a maniacal laugh and chugged the contents within.

"HEY, FLIP THE POOL!" Skinny Jasper added, and the Famethyst did just that even though none of the events involved swimming. "Thank you!" she said before one of the Amethysts set the pool on fire.

"This is getting completely out of hand!" Pearl yelled at the carnage around her. "I thought we were supposed to be a respectable sports competition; this is completely unacceptable!"

"Unacceptable? Did you see the pool?!" Amethyst added. "They flipped the bitch!"

"I'm not even sure why we had a pool here." Bismuth muttered as Garnet and Pearl turned around to give their final thoughts.

"Well, this has certainly been a unique experience," Pearl spoke into her microphone. "We hope you enjoyed the Gem-Lympics, sports fans, and we hope to do this again soon." She then turned to Garnet. "Garnet, are we broadcasting this on television or something?"

"I have no idea," Garnet replied. "I've just shapeshifted my fist into a microphone this whole time."

Suddenly, Squaridot was catapulted toward the camera, and she got up like nothing happened. "RIOT!"

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 25: A Temple Divided

One lovely summer day in Beach City, the Crystal Gems were getting ready for a party. But it wasn't just any party, they were preparing for Ruby and Sapphire's wedding anniversary party and the anniversary of their professional alliance with the Diamonds. The Gems were hard at work on making sure the party was perfect, but little did they realize that this party would be pooped on very soon.

"Okay Zirconias, just put that banner over to the right!" Pearl ordered the Heaven and Earth Cubic Zirconias to move a banner reading 'HAPPY ANNIVERSARY RUBY AND SAPPHIRE' into her requested position. Unfortunately, the two Cubic Zirconias were far too small to carry it and made it fall down. "Okay, maybe I should've told someone else to do it."

"What do you mean you're on a wedding cake shortage?!" Amethyst complained over the phone to a bakery. "Who in the world could possibly want that many cakes?! Oh, the Royal Family? Yeah, that makes sense. I'll just call someone else. Thanks anyways, choom."

"So, how's the happy couple doing right now?" Bismuth asked Ruby and Sapphire as the red and blue married couple oversaw the preparations.

"We're doing wonderful Bismuth, thank you." Sapphire smiled gently.

"Can you believe it's only been four years since we learned Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond?" Ruby asked. "Sometimes, I feel like it's been even longer. Like, way longer!"

"It does feel that way sometimes with everything we've done since then," Pearl added. "Between going to Homeworld, meeting White Diamond for the first time, starting Era 3, the Demantoid & Pyrope crisis, building Little Homeworld, the Spinel crisis, and fighting Black Rutile, it's just been too much."

"Hey Lapis, how's the weather looking?" Amethyst called to Lapis, who was high in the sky to check the weather.

"Looking pretty good, so far!" Lapis replied. "Though I think a storm might be coming soon." She added, pointing to some faint storm clouds in the distance. "Should we start worrying about that? I mean, can't have bad weather on a wedding anniversary."

"I'm sure it won't matter." Ruby declared. "No silly old storm can keep us down! Right, my laughy Sapphy?"

"Oh Ruby, you dog!" Sapphire laughed as Ruby held her one-eyed wife in her arms and kissed her. However, the storm would unknowingly become the least of their worries. Hidden in the distance, Black Rutile snuck into the beach house with a plastic bag full of Gem shards in her hand, hoping that her enemies were far away enough to not notice her entering.

"This had better work." Black Rutile muttered to herself while opening the door to the bathroom and grabbing the three bottles of the Diamonds' essence from the mirror. "I got a lot riding on these bottles to bolster my forces."

After filling the bathtub with water and pouring the essence in, Black Rutile pulled open the bag and dumped the Gem shards into the tub. She sat at the tub crouching in anticipation, hoping what she heard about how Jasper was resurrected after being shattered by a power-mad Steven was true. Suddenly, she saw a light emerging from the tub. "Yes, it's working!"

Black Rutile watched in excitement as Zoisite's deceased team of Phoenix Lapis Lazuli, Eyeball Demantoid, Chest Emerald, and the Citrine Twins were fully restored to life. "Happy welcome back day, my friends!" she exclaimed. "Allow me to introduce myself, I am Black Rutile! You may remember me for rising to the top of White Diamond's court only to realize how much of it was built on a lie by my Diamond's demented sense of humor!"

"I'm sorry, I'm going to need a refresher here since I just came back to life." Phoenix Lapis muttered while getting out of the tub and shaking water out of her hair. "Your Diamond did what now?"

"Listen to me, I shall explain everything along the way." Black Rutile stated as she helped the rest of Zoisite's formerly deceased subordinates out of the bathtub. "Just follow me to this place called Little Homeworld that I'm forced to reside in here on Earth."

"Oh, you bet I'm going to need a heads up." One of the Citrine twins muttered as Black Rutile led the newly revived Gems out of the bathroom and onto the Warp Pad.

"How's it looking, Howlite?" Bloodstone asked Howlite as the two of them, along with Apatite, Tanzanite, Zoisite, and Demantoid worked together on rebuilding Cinnabar's Rejuvenation Blaster, last used against the Black Pearl Brigade during Cinnabar's attempted takeover of Homeworld.

"Firing rate is at an optimal state," Howlite replied as she did some coding on the Blaster's reprogramming powers. "And at Cinnabar's suggestion, we've increased the permanence of the weapon's effects on Gems. Though there is one strand of code that we've yet to cover."

"Yeah, whatever, when can we test this baby?" Zoisite exclaimed as she took the Rejuvenation Blaster and pointed it around.

"Not yet Zoisite, you have to wait until we have built enough for everybody!" Demantoid yelled while snatching the blaster away. "Plus, as Howlite said, there is but one strand of code we've yet to fix." Just then, there was a knock on the door. "Can someone get that?"

"I'll get it," Apatite said as she walked over and opened the door to see Black Rutile standing outside. "Oh, hey boss. Need anything?"

"I'd like to see Zoisite, please." Black Rutile responded politely. "I have something she'd like to see." As Zoisite got up and walked to the front door at the mention of her name, Black Rutile moved to the side to reveal the assassin's old team behind her. To say Zoisite was overjoyed to see them again despite their untimely demises would be an understatement. Instead, she was overcome with so much joy, she started sobbing as she pounced on her old gang.

"Apparently, the Diamonds' essences can restore shattered Gems." Black Rutile muttered as she turned away from the touching moment. "Kind of renders everything we've sacrificed completely pointless, huh?"

"Not right now, in the middle of a long-awaited reunion." Zoisite cried softly while wrapping her former subordinates in a group hug just as Dalmatian Jasper entered the scene.

"Aw, we missed you too, boss." The chest Emerald said. "So, this Steven fellow is the reason you're stuck here?"

"It's not just him, but the entire corrupt system the Crystal Gems have forced onto us!" Black Rutile declared. "I have lost everything thanks to them! My status, my possessions, my armies, everything!"

"Basically, she's out for revenge." Dalmatian Jasper reiterated. "So Zee, this is your old team, huh?"

"Yes, I'd like you to meet everybody." Zoisite sighed happily before pointing to each member of her hit-squad. "This is Phoenix Lapis, that's Demantoid, this is Emerald, and those are the Citrine twins."

"We can talk later, it's planning time." Black Rutile declared as she walked inside her house. "The pieces are all about to fall into place once more. Let me ask you all, how were the Crystal Gems always able to save the day all the time?" she asked her minions. "Well, it's because they had the power of teamwork. Now, this leads me to come to a conclusion. What if we were able to turn them against each other somehow? All we need to do is break the weakest link."

"Finally!" Marty cheered as he emerged from the shadows behind Black Rutile. "I've been itching to make a move on those extraterrestrial dykes for ages!"

"The white man using slurs against members of a minority he hates so much." Sally Grove added dourly. "Typical."

"We are ready and willing to serve, my Rutile." Francis von Bowling proclaimed while Lennie, Milton, Rasputina, Konstantin, Pavel, and Leo stood behind him. Pavel held a tablet that had Neil Michaels' face on it.

"Anything to finally show up Pearl for all she's done to me." Neil groaned in exasperation.

"Good to see my team is still on the same page." Black Rutile declared deviously. "Now, Dr. Brenner, connect me to Mr. Johnson."

"With pleasure, my Rutile." James Brenner said sadly as he turned on Black Rutile's computer to show the white supremacist podcaster Reginald Johnson's face on it.

"Hello?" Reginald asked while adjusting his camera. "Oh hey, the alien lady! I've heard about you!"

"Ah, Reginald, so glad we could talk on this momentous occasion." Black Rutile answered. "You may know me as Black Rutile. Revolutionary, influencer, terrorist. I believe Sally Grove may have talked to me."

"Yeah, I've heard her talk about you, but I was barely paying attention because she kept going on and on about how just because I'm a white man, that doesn't mean I can get away with everything," Reginald said. "I swear, women on the Internet, am I right?!"

"I'm standing right here, white savior!" Sally complained. "Having us on the same team was a bad idea!"

"Both of you, shut up!" Black Rutile yelled at Sally and Reginald. "Reggie, are you and your followers all set for Operation: Olympus Down?"

"Yep, about 2,000 strong, give or take!" Reginald proudly stated. "Most of them are still ticked off that Ronald Crump lost to Suarez in the election! Even with all his men, that old fart won't see it coming!"

"So, remind me what this has to do with the president?" Sally asked Black Rutile.

"It's because he was there to help the Gems stop my plans the first time around, and I plan on getting my revenge!" Black Rutile answered. "In all my browsing of the Internet, I have learned one thing that ruled them all, that if you expose someone to anger long enough, they will learn to hate. And boy have these creatures been exposed to plenty of hate!" She began displaying many controversies over the years to prove her point. "Hatred, bigotry, war, destruction, all over the silliest of things like a video game, movie, or TV show with a cult-like fanbase torturing someone with a different opinion, corrupt businessmen destroying the environment, or feeling intimidated by a person of a certain minority being superior to them in every way imaginable."

Black Rutile then projected a chessboard from her visor with pieces representing the Crystal Gems. "To put it simply, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate shall lead to suffering." She began to rearrange the pieces, with Garnet, Pearl, and Bismuth on one side, while the other side had Lapis, Amethyst, and Peridot.

Back at the anniversary party, preparations were almost complete. All that was left to do now was to invite guests, buy decorations, find a cake, and get the party started. So far, almost everyone who attended the wedding had invitations written, along with a few friends the Gems made since then. Meanwhile, Greg was sent off to find a cake for the party.

"Okay, quick question everybody." Lapis wondered while making some RSVPs. "Where do we stand with the Diamonds right now?"

"I think they might still be upset with us for calling them out on how their treatment of Pink started all this mess," Garnet replied. "But thankfully, as far as I know, they haven't decided to get revenge and turn back to their old ways, as much as Black Rutile would probably kill to see that."

"Let's just send an invite just in case. If they don't want to come, that shouldn't be any of our business." Pearl said before sealing an envelope with Amethyst's tongue. "I'm just worried though. What if what they said about how we treated Steven was true?"

"Eh, what's past is prologue, or whatever that play said," Amethyst responded coolly. "I'm not ready to go through that whole drama again."

"Still, can you believe how long it's been since the Rebellion?" Lapis mused, making a nearby Bismuth start looking uncomfortable. "Feels like yesterday that I was sent down for a visit only to get chucked into the Rebellion, and then I got poofed and stuck in that mirror."

"Hey, uh, Pearl?" Bismuth called for Pearl. "Can I speak with you for a second? Preferably alone."

"Oh, of course," Pearl said as the blacksmith took her aside to have a private chat behind one of the destroyed stone hands. "What's on your mind, dear? Something about the Rebellion, I suppose."

"Well, it's about how Lapis got involved in things." Bismuth nervously stated to Pearl. "You know how she was poofed and put in that mirror? Well, it turns out I was the one who poofed her."

"What?!" Pearl squawked in shock before Bismuth put her hand over Pearl's mouth, hoping Lapis wouldn't overhear them. "Did you just say you were the one who poofed Lapis?" she said more quietly through Bismuth's hand. "How?"

"I didn't know how it happened either," Bismuth admitted sorrowfully. "I was just in the zone and mistook her for a soldier. It only took until getting to know Lapis better that I realized I'm basically the one who ruined her life."

"Oh, Bismuth, don't be too hard on yourself," Pearl replied soothingly, putting a hand on her rainbow girlfriend's chin. "I'm sure Lapis will understand once you open up to her. Did you really keep this from her for this long?"

"I just haven't had the heart." Bismuth shook her head while looking out at Lapis having fun with Peridot and Amethyst by dunking some fruit punch on Teal Zircon's head. "Just look at her, so happy and free. Do you really think I'm the kind of gal to do that to someone? No, no, a thousand times no!"

While Bismuth declared herself to not be the kind of Gem to keep such a terrible secret for so long, someone was planning to do that for her. Nearby, Morganite kept herself hidden behind another hand while eavesdropping on the two Rebellion veterans. "This is going to be juicy." She purred to herself before disappearing without a trace.

"Ay, dios mio, dealing with those Arasaka chumps and trying to stop their oil drilling was harder than I thought." President Eduardo Suarez sighed in relief as he ended another long day of work for the country he ran while walking into the Oval Office. It was a hard job to be sure, but a satisfactory one nonetheless as he loved doing what he could to help the American people. Plus, coming home to his family made even the most challenging of days more worth it.

"Papi!" Eduardo's children, 15-year-old son Huey and 16-year-old daughter Riley cried as they ran up and gave their father a welcome back hug.

"How was work today, Dad?" Huey asked his dad. "How much trouble did those Arasaka people give you?"

"Ugh, they kept me in their offices for hours!" Eduardo complained to his son. "They kept going on and on about how because they're so rich, they deserve everything! Newsflash Saburo, you're saying you're richer than the freaking President! Millionaires, am I right?"

"If I were you, I'd have just told them to shove off!" Riley added eagerly. "They don't know who they're talking to at all!"

"Now, Riley, no need to get so intense." The president's wife Arleen Suarez said as she walked into the office and kissed her husband-in-chief. "Just rest now, mi amor. You earned it after today."

"Thank you, dear." Eduardo sighed contently before he heard a knock at the door. "Come in!" A secret service agent then entered the room. "Good day, sir. Anything you'd like to tell me?"

"Mr. President, sir, there is someone who'd like to speak with you." The agent said in a robotic monotone. "Him and his army of more than 2,000 followers who voted for Crump in the election."

"I'm sorry, what?" Eduardo said before Reginald Johnson kicked down the door to the Oval Office and strode in with an exaggerated swagger like he owned the place before sitting down at the president's desk. "Sir, I'm going to ask you to remove yourself from my desk at once, por favor."

"Sorry el Presidente, but you can't tell me what to do anymore!" Reginald yelled angrily while pointing an accusing finger at the president. "You and the rest of your kind have been a stain on our green Earth for way too long now!"

"Oh poo, another prejudiced douchebag." Riley snarked. "Look pal, if you think you can just strut in here and tell my dad how much you hate him for his race, then you're in the wrong place! My papi can have your ass folded like a bad hand of cards with just one secret service guy!"

"I'm not talking about his race, ya idjit!" Reginald roared. "I'm talking about guys like him who bend the knee to those damn Crystal Gems who think that they're the rulers of the Earth now!"

"Do not say that about my friends." Eduardo retorted firmly while slamming his hands down on the desk. "They are some of the nicest people I've ever met, human or otherwise. If it weren't for them, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now because a deranged sociopath would've destroyed the Earth!"

"And that's the problem!" Reginald argued back. "They may have saved Earth, but they're destroying it in other ways too. I'm only doing what's good for people like me and you here, amigo, because that Steven boy's peace-loving ways will be the death of us all! It's in our nature to fight and hate, Eddy, and you simply can't fight nature! The wind blows, rain falls, and the strong prey upon the weak!"

"And what makes you think you can talk down to us like that?" Arleen said, resolutely standing by her husband and children. Reginald simply smirked and snapped his fingers, letting his army of angry followers do the talking for him. Men and women alike were all armed to the teeth as they barged into the Oval Office and surrounded the president's family. "Okay, point taken."

"EVERYBODY SCATTER!" Eduardo screamed in terror as he punched one of the gunmen in the face, grabbed his gun, and started running. "We'll meet back up at the Washington Monument, just go!"

"But what about you?!" Huey exclaimed.

"Leave these bigots to me and the secret service guys!" Eduardo said as he fired at more shooters, their bulletproof vests keeping them from dying as the president ran for his life.

"AFTER HIM!" Reginald screamed while unholstering a rifle from his back and giving pursuit. "That boy ain't right, and I'm gonna set him right whether he likes it or not!"

"Yippee-kay-yay, hijo de puta!" Eduardo shouted before firing a cartridge's worth of bullets at the angry white man chasing him. As more secret service employees began joining the firefight, Eduardo's quick thinking kept Reginald on his toes until he passed by the sitting room, where he made a shocking discovery. "Oh no!"

"Dad, help us!" Riley cried as she, Huey, and Arleen were cornered by more of Reginald's men.

"Mi familia!" Eduardo yelled back as he tried to charge into the sitting room to save them, only for Reginald to wrap his arm around the president's neck while pointing a gun at his temple. "You monster."

"I'm just giving you a choice here, chief." Reginald purred evilly. "Either give up, or somebody's getting iced today. Either way, my TubeTube channel is going to make me a millionaire."

"So that's what this is for, just some dumb clickbait?" Eduardo hissed in disgust. "I can see it now in big capital letters across the Internet. 'PRESIDENT LEAVES FAMILY TO DIE' or 'MAN SAVES COUNTRY FROM PSYCHO PRESIDENT'. This isn't about us, it's about you and your online fame!"

"You could say that." Reginald concurred. "My offer still stands. Which one of you is going to die?"

"No one!" the secret service agent from earlier declared as he barged in and tried to free President Suarez while disarming Reginald. "In the name of the United States, I hereby place you under arrest!"

"Not on my watch, sheep!" Reginald screamed as he and the agent wrestled each other.

"Run Mr. President, we shall handle things from here!" the agent yelled as the SWAT team burst into the White House to combat the terrorist threat.

"Fine, I'll go." Eduardo wheezed in pain before struggling over to his captive family. "Be strong, you guys. I'll be back soon."

"We'll be brave for you, papi," Riley replied, trying to keep a brave face despite the overwhelming odds.

"When I woke up this morning, I didn't expect my day to turn out like this." Huey muttered disdainfully.

"You're stronger than they'll ever be, darling," Arleen assured Eduardo before the two shared a passionate kiss. When the husband and wife ended their kiss, Eduardo then charged at the window and broke it as he jumped out of the White House's second floor.

"Okay, that went worse than I planned," Eduardo muttered as he got up from the fall. "Ooh, I think I may have broken a few bones." Just then, a limo pulled up close to where he landed and his vice president Theresa Maxwell poked her head out the window. "Theresa?!"

"Get in!" Theresa yelled tersely while opening the door for her president. "I saw those guys on the news before they started storming the place, and I just knew they'd be coming after you! Now come on!"

Despite his injuries, Eduardo's willpower and drive to protect his family kept him going as he struggled towards the limo and got in. As soon as he closed the door, the limousine drove as far away from the White House as possible.

"Excellent," Reginald smirked as he looked out the broken window and watched as the president escaped. "That son of a gun can run, but he sure as hell can't hide." He then pulled out his phone to begin making a call. "Reginald to Black Rutile, come in Black Rutile. Operation: Olympus Down is almost complete. We seized the White House, but the president managed to get away."

"Doesn't matter to me." Black Rutile responded. "Just as long as he's too distracted to help the Gems when I take them by surprise. Black Rutile out!"

Back at Little Homeworld, Black Rutile had finished her call to Reginald before she looked over at the progress on the reconstructed Rejuvenation Blaster. "How's it looking, everybody?"

"Reconstruction has officially been completed, now to find a test subject," Demantoid replied. "Who do you suggest, my Rutile?"

"I might have a few Gems in mind." Black Rutile said just as Morganite entered her house. "Morganite, I trust that your reconnaissance mission provided some fruit."

"Indeed, madam," Morganite answered with a bow. "I have reason to believe that Lapis Lazuli's misfortunes can all be blamed on that one Bismuth that she claims to be friends with. No doubt a useful tool for our cause. Perhaps one we can use to bring one of the Crystal Gems to our side. Now that I've done your dirty work, it's time to hold up your end of the bargain."

"Ah yes, what I would give you in exchange for restoring your loyalty in me." Black Rutile remembered. "However, I'm going to need Demantoid, Pyrope, and Emerald here as well."

"We're right here, my Rutile," Emerald said as she and Pyrope entered from the darkness. "What do you request?"

"I have recently come to a realization." Black Rutile replied while contemplating her new Rejuvenation Blaster. "Some of these Gems under my thumb have gotten a little soft with the time they've spent here on Earth. And since I'm set to make my grand return, I simply cannot have such weak subordinates."

"What are you implying, Black Rutile?" Pyrope asked, fearing the answer she'll soon get.

"What I'm implying is that I have no room for such weakness in my forces." Black Rutile said as she made it very clear that she intended to use Emerald, Morganite, Demantoid, and Pyrope as the first victims of the Rejuvenation Blaster. "Hence why your services will no longer be needed. Or at least, your services as your current selves." With an evil grin on her face, Black Rutile fired at the four Gems and made them writhe in enough pain for them to poof. Everyone was left gobsmacked at her cruelty, especially Tanzanite, but to Black Rutile, this was just another day for her. "Will anyone else attempt to fill their shoes?"

"How could you do that to your own subjects?" Tanzanite said with quiet outrage. "I thought you were fighting for their freedom! This is not what a leader should do! And I should know, I served under Rose Quartz before learning how much of a liar she was!"

"Would you care to join them as well?" Black Rutile shut Tanzanite up with a mere point of her Rejuvenation Blaster. Even though she had finally started questioning her new leader, Tanzanite meekly shook her head before walking away, just as Black Rutile's four victims reformed with only one thing to say.

"All hail Black Rutile." Emerald, Demantoid, Pyrope, and Morganite droned in reverence of their leader, any trace of their former selves now seemingly erased. "All hail Black Rutile."

"Excellent, it's working!" Black Rutile cheered. "With this, I can brainwash as many Gems as I please, but I suppose one will be far easier than the rest. And I won't even need the Blaster!" Putting the Blaster down, Black Rutile called for another of her subjects. "Aquamarine!"

"Yes, my Rutile?" Aquamarine asked her beloved superior.

"Find me Lapis Lazuli at once and tell her everything she needs to know about her so-called friends." Black Rutile ordered Aquamarine. "It's time to break our weakest link."

"Tell her what?" Aquamarine wondered before Black Rutile whispered an incredibly juicy, long-buried secret into her ear. "Oh, that is just perfect! I'll tell her as soon as I find her!" With a spring in her step, Aquamarine soared out of the house and away from Little Homeworld in search of Lapis.

"Now then, anybody else has something to tell the class?" Black Rutile asked her subordinates around. "How about you, Holly Blue? How have you been practicing fusion with Cat's Eye?"

"Oh, it's wonderful, my Rutile." Holly Blue replied merrily. "She makes such a wonderful partner."

"By the end of the day, the two of us will be more unified than the Crystal Gems!" Cat's Eye agreed and the two laughed heartily.

"Those two, I swear." Andesine rolled her eyes at the duo. "So when shall we strike, my Rutile?"

"Yeah, I'm getting impatient here!" Amber cried. "I need to hit something fast!" To try and relieve her stress, Amber threw a punch at Cinnabar, who barely flinched at the attack.

"Can't say I missed you, Amber." Cinnabar coolly stated. "So, clarify this for me. Are we just going to wait until the secret's out for us to strike?"

"You read my mind, dear Cinnabar." Black Rutile smiled at her student. "I really missed you, you know."

At the exact same time, Lapis had just emerged from a startup party supplies shop with bags full of decorations for the anniversary party. "Wow, who would've guessed Peridot would want this much stuff? It's just only everybody in town and then some coming to the party." As Lapis prepared to take flight, she suddenly heard someone let out a familiar bratty cackle. "What do you want, Aquamarine?!"

"Nice little shop you found here," Aquamarine said as she perched atop the shop's sign. "Too bad it's on the planet where your life as you knew it ended, huh?"

"Uh, what are you on about this time?" Lapis asked with a roll of her eyes, practically itching to fly as far away from whatever bloviating Aquamarine was about to spout this time. "Look, I'm on a very tight schedule here, so if you have something to say, just make it quick."

"Very well then." Aquamarine huffed in frustration while puffing her cheeks. "Now, I have a question to ask you. Did you ever wonder who poofed you during the Rebellion, my friend?"

"No, I don't think I ever knew and I don't care," Lapis replied grumpily. "Now please, let me go."

"No no, I have something amazing to tell you!" Aquamarine yelled while pulling at Lapis's leg. "Did Bismuth ever tell you?"

"What did she tell me?" Lapis replied nervously before the smaller blue Gem dropped quite possibly the biggest bombshell she ever heard in her life.

"That she poofed you in the Rebellion." Aquamarine declared with a smirk, causing Lapis to drop her shopping bags in horror.

"Wait, you're kidding, are you?" Lapis asked as her reality began crashing down on her. "She wouldn't do that!"

"But she did!" Aquamarine replied with a cheeky, psychotic smile. "For you, the day Bismuth ruined your life because she saw you as a mere soldier was the most horrible day of your life. But for her, it was Tuesday."

"But, but why?!" Lapis shrieked in denial while dropping to her knees and clutching her head between her hands. "Bismuth was such a good friend of mine, but now you tell me she was keeping this from me for centuries?! How could she?!"

"She just didn't have the heart to admit it." Aquamarine shook her head sympathetically before placing a hand on Lapis's back. "Go on, be the bigger Gem. Tell them how you really feel."

When Lapis looked up at Aquamarine, it wasn't with tears of betrayal. She instead stared at the other Gem with fires of hatred and deceit. This was like when the Crystal Gems left her in the mirror for thousands of years without realizing a Gem was trapped inside it, only far worse. This time, they were trapping her in a cage of lies and secrecy. Without even a word to Aquamarine, Lapis flew back to the Crystal Gems, not even bothering to come back for the decorations because she was that angry.

"Excellent," Aquamarine smirked before, out of curiosity, she decided to take a peek at what Lapis bought from the store. "What is this?" she muttered while pulling out a chintzy napkin with 'TALE AS OLD AS TIME, SONG AS OLD AS RHYME' monogrammed on it. "A little on the nose, much?"

"What's taking Lapis so long with the decorations?" Bismuth murmured as she paced around the sand in front of the other Gems. "We plan on holding the party tomorrow, we can't start without the whole gang together!"

"Hey, I think I can see her now!" Peridot exclaimed while spotting Lapis in the distance flying towards the Crystal Temple. "Hey wait a second, why doesn't she have the decorations?"

"And she looks very upset too," Garnet added. "Something isn't right." As soon as Lapis touched down and marched towards the Crystal Gems with her fists balled up, Garnet immediately tried to ease the tension. "Hello, Lapis! It's a lovely day we're having today, storm notwithstanding!"

"Shut up, don't do that. Just don't." Lapis growled furiously, sending shivers down the Crystal Gems' spines before she snapped. "How could you have kept this from me?"

"Kept what from you?" Pearl asked, only for Lapis to immediately shut her up with a slap across the face.

"You know exactly what I mean!" Lapis shrieked angrily. "You all knew that Bismuth was the one who poofed me all those years ago when I first traveled to Earth, that was how I was left to be put in the mirror that Pearl found on the Galaxy Warp, stuck in her gem, and just left me to collect dust for thousands of years! But did anybody try addressing my trauma?! No, I was just left to play dumb games! After all, happily ever after here we are, gotta stay positive!"

"Lapis, calm down please," Bismuth said while trying her hardest not to yell back at her as the other Little Homeworld Gems gathered around to watch the conflict. "I was barely thinking when I punched you in the back, I didn't notice that you weren't just another soldier!"

"Hey guys, I just got back with the cake!" Greg cheered as he walked in on the Gems with a big wedding cake in his hands before he quickly realized what was going on. "Uh, what did I miss?"

"Lapis, we had no idea the mirror contained a sentient Gem!" Garnet exclaimed. "Just calm down and we can sort this out!

"How can I calm down when this is all your fault?!" Lapis roared, now at her absolute breaking point. "Anyone else care to take their side?"

"Lapis, I know it's hard, I know you're stressed, but you have to take a chill pill!" Peridot tried calming her best friend down. "Garnet, Bismuth, and Pearl didn't do anything wrong here!"

"I thought you were on my side, I thought you loved me!" Lapis yelled at Peridot as the storm finally came and rain began pouring down on the party.

"I do love you Lapis, I just want everyone to get along!" Peridot said before looking at Garnet, Pearl, and Bismuth. "But seriously, I thought we were all friends! How could you have kept this from her for this long?"

"Yeah guys, I thought you were better than this!" Amethyst added, now suddenly taking Lapis's side. "What? I thought the sides were a little uneven."

"Lapis, if you don't calm down and listen, I'll have to do it myself." Garnet threatened Lapis by summoning her gauntlet.

"Go ahead, make my day." Lapis retorted by summoning the rainwater from above and firing raindrops like bullets at Garnet.

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" all the other Gems began chanting at the brawling Crystal Gems before getting into a massive brawl themselves. Friends and lovers all quickly turned on each other as they began taking sides. Half of them sided with Lapis, Peridot & Amethyst, while the other half sided with Bismuth, Garnet & Pearl. What was thought to start as a lovely day for a wedding anniversary soon turned into a nightmare.

"Guys, the cake!" Greg yelled, trying to hide how he was unable to process everything happening by paying more attention to the cake quickly getting spoiled by the rain. But he wouldn't have to worry any longer as Teal Zircon was tossed straight into him, completely destroying the cake in the process. "Well, that was $616 wasted."

Elsewhere, the vice president's limousine finally arrived at One Observatory Drive, where a secret service agent opened the car door and allowed Eduardo & Theresa to leave.

"Oh gracias Theresa, you have no idea how glad I am you came in at the nick of time!" Eduardo said gratefully to his vice president. "It all happened so fast! I was just getting back from dealing with Arasaka, then those protestors showed up and took my family hostage, and apparently, they're working with Black Rutile too! We have to go back, Maxwell, we have to save Arleen and the kids!"

"Oh trust me, Eddy, I got all the help you need right here." Theresa confidently stated as she pushed open the doors to reveal Major General Wade Grant standing in the main hall in anticipation of the president's arrival. "Wade, I got him safe!"

"Wonderful, Terri, just the man I need to see!" Wade cheered as he took Eduardo by the hand and dragged him away. "I sent the SWAT team as soon as I heard what was going on, and I got worried for your safety. Luckily, help has arrived."

Wade then took Eduardo into the kitchen, where a group consisting of many secret service agents, some members of his cabinet, and General Lloyd Waller were all waiting for him. "Welcome to la resistance, Prez." Theresa declared. "Hope you survive the experience."

"President Suarez, it's so good to see you!" Lloyd cheerfully greeted Eduardo while rolling his wheelchair up to the president and shaking his hand. "Been quite a while, hasn't it? After I nearly got stabbed to death saving you from Black Rutile, I had to take a sabbatical during my recovery process and went off to Florida Island."

"It truly is a delight to see everybody here." Eduardo sighed happily before putting on a serious face. "But we can save happy greetings for later. We need to think of a plan to save my family and take back the White House! Any ideas?"

"Perhaps first, we can listen to this message from Black Rutile and an unknown second party." A secret service agent said while presenting a computer with Black Rutile and Sally Grove's smug faces on the screen.

"Black Rutile!" Eduardo said furiously while snatching the computer out of the agent's hands so he can talk with the self-proclaimed revolutionary one on one. "What business do you have taking my family hostage?!"

"I call it revenge." Black Rutile stated. "You were the one to instigate saving Steven the last time we met even though I convinced you he was a threat, so you are but one of many people I am striking back at for my misfortunes. In addition, my special friend Sally Grove here was the one to contact Reginald and help him organize his plan."

"Greetings Mr. President, you may call me Sally Grove." Sally introduced herself to the president. "Influencer, online critic, proud servant, and kindred spirit of Black Rutile. I never liked the Crystal Gems to begin with, or heck, anybody in general, but using them to prop yourself up just makes me sick. You're just like all the other men I've ever met."

"You take that back, young lady!" Wade yelled at Sally. "I don't know what your problem is, but if we weren't already on the verge of a national crisis, I'd use my military power to teach you a lesson!"

"You're only proving my point!" Sally complained. "You know, this can all be avoided if you agree to our demands."

"What are you suggesting?" Lloyd asked the two on the computer.

"Either surrender your presidency and allow me free reign to conquer the world or else your family will die!" Black Rutile threatened. "And to show that we mean business." Suddenly, one of Reginald's men took an agent by surprise by breaking his arms through the kitchen window and dragging him outside before giving him the mother of all vicious beatdowns.

The agent wasn't even given a chance to fight back because of how unprepared he was for an occasion. But then came the worst part. The agent tried to crawl back inside by opening the door, but the terrorist slammed his boot on the agent's back before slamming his head into the door well. And he did it again. And again. And again. And again. This brutal moment seemed to go on for hours until the agent was left possibly on the brink of death.

"That is how I mean business." Black Rutile concluded as the agent was helped to his feet by Tulip Dennis & Victor Molano before being dragged away to somewhere safe. "Either end your term early or horrible things will happen to you and everyone you ever loved. And don't even try to call the Crystal Gems for help, they're too busy with their own interpersonal conflicts to pay attention. Until then, that's all folks." The feed finally ended, leaving everybody in the vice president's kitchen dead silent as they began thinking about what to do next.

"So, what happens now?" Theresa asked awkwardly while trying to process the horrible sight they just witnessed earlier. While everybody started panicking, Eduardo was left catatonic with fear as he continued standing there fearing for his family, his country, and his alien friends.

"This is delicious!" Black Rutile laughed evilly as she and the other Rutile Rebels watched the civil war between Gems below them from the lighthouse. Though the way they say it, it was more of a childish feud that quickly went out of control.

"I guess abducting the Crystal Gems and holding them hostage won't be necessary, huh, boss?" Pyrite asked while arming her Rejuvenation Blaster. "They're already occupying themselves as is."

"Oh, don't be hasty, Pyrite!" Black Rutile replied as she aimed her sights on a random Gem. "Not until I'm sure it works perfectly!" With a target in view, Black Rutile pulled the trigger and launched a beam of light at a random Amethyst, making her writhe in agony before making her poof. "YES! YES!" She then turned to her subordinates. "Now Rutile Rebels, we shall strike!"

"Finally!" Holly Blue and Cat's Eye cheered before they joined hands and kissed, their forms merging into a tall, curvy, green Gem with bob-cut hair, a tight catsuit, high-heeled boots, a domino mask, and a pair of whips holstered around her waist. The fusion's name was Chrome Chalcedony.

The Rutile Rebels and their human allies then leaped into action, joining the struggle between Gems and pointing their Rejuvenation Blasters around before firing at random Gems. Left and right, various quarreling residents of Little Homeworld were shot down and reduced to their gems, much to the shock and horror of everyone else.

"Everybody, take cover!" White Topaz yelled while rounding up some Gems and racing them to safety.

"That's right, you pacifistic whelps, keep running!" Chrome Chalcedony laughed evilly as she and Bluebird Azurite kept firing at more Gems in their way.

"We might win this one," Teal Zircon declared intensely to Topaz. "you get to the panic room!"

"We don't have a panic room!" Topaz shouted back as Black Rutile cornered her and Teal.

"Aw, Teal and Topaz, I see you're already here." Black Rutile smiled as she presented the two with spare Rejuvenation Blasters. "Would you care to join this grand occasion?"

"I see what this is," Topaz said firmly. "This is all that your big plans were leading up to. Well frankly, I don't think we have a place among your ranks anymore."

"Ditto." Teal agreed before she narrowly dodged a blast from the Rejuvenator Blaster and began running for the hills. "Run Topaz, run like the wind!"

"I got you two!" Jasper exclaimed as she grabbed Teal and Topaz and dragged them to the beach house.

"Aw, you really do like me!" Teal replied cheerfully.

"Oh, be quiet," Jasper growled at the Zircon before she turned back and watched Lapis, Peridot, and Amethyst continue their fight with Bismuth, Garnet, and Pearl.

"I'm going to enjoy making you pay for what you've done to me!" Lapis snarled as she hoisted Bismuth by the neck with a wing forming into an arm and began strangling the blacksmith. "I am Lapis Lazuli, and I will not be anyone's prisoner anymore!"

"Please, I'm sorry, have mercy on me!" Bismuth choked and gasped mid-strangulation. "If you would just listen!" Suddenly, however, Bismuth was ripped out of Lapis's grasp by a massive red hand belonging to Mega Ruby. "What the?!"

"Surprise!" Mega Ruby laughed as she was briefly unfused to absorb Bismuth into her body, making the blacksmith's head stick out of the fusion's shoulder as a result. "Hey Black Rutile, we got one!"

"Perfect." Black Rutile smirked before looking to the rest of her troops. "Now, everyone round the others up!" Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Peridot were then brought forward in chains by Kyanite and Xenotime. "Looks like you were too angry at each other to see this coming, huh?"

"Of course, you'd take advantage of this!" Garnet snapped at the Rutile.

"Let's be frank, you were going to break apart anyhow." Kyanite laughed while slamming Garnet's face into the sand. "Hey CC, how's searching for the others going?"

"Unfortunately, they're a bit too good at hiding." Chrome Chalcedony declared as she emerged from the beach house with a particular book in hand. "However, I did find this on one of the shelves. 'When Your Child Wants Some Time Apart' by George Ikari, eh?"

"I got that book for Steven!" Pearl yelled at the fusion of Cat's Eye and Holly Blue. "Whatever you do, don't do anything to it!" As if Chrome wasn't listening, or maybe she deliberately didn't pay attention, she ripped the book in half with a grin.

"Looks like you all could use a little alone time," Chrome said with a snap of her fingers, allowing for all the Gems hit with the Rejuvenation Blasters to reform as mindless servants of Black Rutile. The Crystal Gems gasped in horror as various Amethysts, Jaspers, Pearls, Topazes, fusions, Rubies & Sapphires, Peridots, Lapises, Aquamarines, Bismuths, Agates, Demantoids, Pyropes, and various other Gems that previously wanted to live a free life on Earth had only one thing to say.

"All hail Black Rutile." The amnesiac Gems droned as they raised their arms and marched toward their former teachers. "All hail Black Rutile. All hail Black Rutile. All hail Black Rutile." Watching the onslaught from afar, Lapis shook her head with no amount of sympathy before changing her attire into a new dress bereft of any imagery connecting her to the Crystal Gems with a hooded cloak to hide her face as she flew away, abandoning the life she once knew as she left for parts unknown.

"Just so we're clear, this is still all your fault." Peridot angrily said to Bismuth.

"My fault!?" Bismuth argued with the tiny technician. "You were the one who interrogated her!"

"I only came along with Jasper to check up on the Cluster!" Peridot bickered. "If anything, she and Garnet are to blame since Garnet was so strong, it convinced Jasper to fuse with Lapis and they tortured each other as Malachite for months on end!"

"That is an unbelievably lazy excuse." Garnet coolly said despite how furious she was at the accusation. "Like I said, Pearl and I didn't know the Gem in the mirror was Lapis."

"And that made you try to take Lapis away from her only friend at the time?!" Amethyst bickered with Garnet and Pearl. "Face it, if you were honest with Lapis the whole time, this wouldn't have happened at all!"

"Will all of you be quiet already?" Xenotime asked.

"It's adorable how you keep blaming each other for your own follies instead of pointing fingers at the sociopathic monster in your midst who is getting away with everything as we speak." Black Rutile proclaimed before she looked over her shoulder to notice that Lapis had disappeared. "Chrome Chalcedony, be a dear and bring the Crystal Gems back to Little Homeworld while I follow Lapis."

"It shall be my pleasure." Chrome Chalcedony beamed as she lead the new and improved Rutile Rebels away from the ruined party while the rain finally stopped, and Black Rutile pulled out a hoverboard from her gem to follow Lapis.

Having been completely ignored this whole time, Greg was left shell-shocked at what he had just witnessed. All was quiet in the area that was supposed to host a fun anniversary party, but the storm combined with the fight had ruined everything. Then suddenly, a large orange hand patted him on the shoulder. "You, Steven's dad, wake up!"

"Jasper?!" Greg yelped at Jasper standing behind him. "Where have you and White Topaz been this whole time?"

"Saving Gems, what else." White Topaz replied before turning to the beach house. "I think they're gone, guys, it's safe to come out now!" Soon, the Lapis twins, the Black Pearl Brigade, the Diamonds' Pearls, Nephrite, Desert Glass, Albite, Beryl, Tiger's Eye, Serpentine, Larimar, Snowflake Obsidian, Monazite, Diaspore, Dumortierite, Skinny Jasper, Carnelian, Orange Spodumene, Cherry Quartz, Blue Chalcedony, Chrysocolla, Bixbite, Biggs Jasper, Grossular Diopside, the Cubic Zirconias, both the Watermelon Tourmalines, the Rose Quartz trio, Flint, Chert, Kunzite, and a Gem Greg assumed he never saw before all emerged from the beach house, all afraid of what could happen next. "We could only save these guys. The rest are all gone, all slaves to Black Rutile now."

"But they're not gone completely," Cap said as she stepped forward. "When my team and I were hit by those Rejuvenation Blasters, the effects seemed permanent. Then Nacre here, previously known as Shell, helped restore our memories. If that's the case, there's a good chance that will be the case with everyone the Rutile Rebels has shot."

"So what happens now?" Greg said nervously before looking at the big, bird-like Gem. "And who are you supposed to be? I don't think I ever saw you before."

"My name's Lavenderine, pleased to meet you." Lavenderine introduced herself by shaking Greg's hand. "Sorry that I'm seeing you for the first time in such bad circumstances, but-Ooh, is that cake still fresh?!" She raced over to the ruined cake and began pecking it with a huge, beaklike nose. "Hm, still some flavor left."

"Regardless, Black Rutile thinks she may have won, but we're all still here, together." Diaspore proclaimed.

"I don't understand. I don't understand how this all happened." Teal Zircon stated as she began making a speech. "How we go through this. I mean, I knew the Crystal Gems, and then they're just, they're just taken down by some crazy Rutile I thought was running a book club, and I don't understand why she can't just get over her horrible losses and live a quiet life." Everyone was taken aback by how profound she was sounding right now. "It's stupid. It's human and stupid, and, and Lapis was crying and not talking, and earlier I was having fruit punch and I thought, well, I got fruit punch all over me, surely that'll be just one part of a day we'll look back on and laugh. And she'll never see Peridot, or Bismuth, or the others, not ever, and no one will explain to me why!"

"It's tough losing someone to be sure." Dumortierite proclaimed sorrowfully. "But we are the Crystal Gems, and we'll always save the day! If she thinks we can't, we'll always find a way!"

"But that leaves the question." Laz declared. "What now?"

"I hope Lapis is doing okay." Zuli agreed as everybody gazed over the horizon with no clue as to what happens next.

Far away from Beach City, Black Rutile surfed the ocean on her hoverboard in search of Lapis, hoping that she'd be able to answer the terraformer's prayers for help and maybe add another Crystal Gem to her roster. "Now, if I were an insipid terraformer, where would I be?" Suddenly, she heard a loud rumbling sound and looked over in the distance, where she discovered a familiar building rising from the water.

"The Lunar Sea Spire?!" Black Rutile exclaimed before guiding her hoverboard to the fallen temple. Even though it was in ruins and a few Crystal Shrimp littered the spire, it was still relatively intact. "Oy, someone should pick up after themselves." The Rutile terrorist mused as she reached the very top of the tower, where Lapis was on her knees gazing at the sky. "Hello, Lapis."

"What do you want?" Lapis harshly asked Black Rutile. "Let me guess, are you here to mistreat me like the Crystal Gems did?"

"No, I came here because I have now realized the two of us are more alike than I initially believed." Black Rutile said as she walked towards Lapis and sat down beside her. "Think of it, the two of us were created to serve the Diamonds and were very good at it. But after coming to Earth, our lives just started falling apart and we haven't been able to get back to normal since."

"What, you want me to join you or something?" Lapis continued.

"What do you think, my dear Lazuli?" Black Rutile grinned before standing up and offering her hand. "Would you care to help me prevent any other Gem from suffering like we did?" Lapis then closed her eyes before turning her head and sticking her hand out to Black Rutile. As soon as Black Rutile helped Lapis up and walked her away from where she sat, Lapis was a Crystal Gem no more. Now, she was a Rutile Rebel.

With the Crystal Gems finally eliminated from the equation, Black Rutile now had full control over Little Homeworld. To make it better, she now had another former member joining her after realizing she and Black Rutile were very much alike.

"So what are we going to do with this, my Rutile?" Lapis said as she, Black Rutile, and Dr. Brenner stood together atop the whirly-bird tower, gazing out at Beach City and the surrounding area. "I mean, this whole place officially belongs to us now."

"Something that I've wanted to do for a long time now, and I need your help to do it." Black Rutile replied. "I want you to raise this insipid town to the sky! Use all the moisture into the ground to turn Little Homeworld into my flying fortress!"

"As you wish, my Rutile," Lapis said without a shred of emotion as she raised her hands to the air, making the water droplets in the ground rise up and burrow into the ground to make the town fly. What was once a happy little village for Gems to unlearn the old ways of the Diamonds quickly became an airborne dreadnought that Black Rutile could finally call home, and the Crystal Gems were powerless to stop her.

"Now then, let's begin the invasion!" Black Rutile commanded her new brainwashed troopers. "I want you to not stop until Beach City is annihilated!"

"Hold on one second, Black Rutile!" James finally spoke out against Black Rutile. "I have tolerated your antics for so long because I believed that maybe you'd listen to me and change yourself for the better. But alas, your plans have finally convinced me otherwise. Brainwashing all these innocent Gems was bad enough, but now you convinced an emotionally vulnerable Gem to join you?"

"What can I say, preying on the emotionally vulnerable was how I gathered my subjects." Black Rutile shrugged. "And I don't think I appreciate your tone, doctor. I'm afraid I'll have to cancel all future appointments from here on out." She turned to Lapis. "Lapis, show the doctor where he stands now."

With any sense of emotion drained from her, Lapis grabbed James by his shirt collar and tossed him off of Little Homeworld to his possible death, only to be saved at the last minute by an orange blur grabbing him in the nick of time.

"Who can stop me now?!" Black Rutile laughed her loudest and most monstrous evil laugh yet as the entire Rutile Rebels gathered behind her in triumph. "WHO?!"

Faraway from the flying Little Homeworld, a certain human girlfriend of Steven had just returned home from college for spring break.

Chapter Text

Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life

Chapter 26: Hostile Takeover

"It just feels so good to be bad." Black Rutile gloated to the Crystal Gems as she held them prisoner in a makeshift prison. Today had quite possibly been the best day she has ever had on Earth. Black Rutile had now converted multiple Gems to her coalition of rebels, whether by force or through coercion, her enemies were now hers to torment, and their precious Little Homeworld into her newest evil lair. "I haven't felt this utterly delighted to be victorious since the siege of Tweenis 12, I feel like singing! Maestro?"

Amazonite turned on a music player at her master's command, causing Black Rutile to sing a reprise of a familiar song. "Wither the rose! Growing shadows! Sow a world of chaos! Wither the rose! Only highs, no lows! In a world of chaos!"

"Is this really the time to be singing?" Pearl muttered as she tried to break free from her chains.

"Ha!" Black Rutile laughed in response before looking out at her various enforcers. "Come on minions, hurry along! Soon, Beach City will be gone! I could squeeze myself with glee, first the Diamonds and then this galaxy! I really stopped at nothing, gaslighting, terrorism, and lying!" she declared. "Whatever it takes to get revenge, you really can't blame me for trying."

Little Homeworld soon began hovering over Beach City, casting a dark shadow over a large portion of the town while the townies had no idea what was going on. Suddenly, the water holding the Gem village in the air began firing at the humans, making them scurry in fear as Black Rutile finished her song. "Wither the rose! Growing shadows! Sow a world of chaos! Wither the rose! Don't you doze!"

"This planet is basically ours!" Aquamarine sang along.

"We have control over its superpowers!" Eyeball added triumphantly.

"You are helpless to resist!" Holly Blue proclaimed.

"There's no way for you to persist!" Cat's Eye declared.

"Saying sorry just won't cut it!" Cinnabar boomed.

"This universe will be ours, bit by bit!" Andesine stated.

"You thought you could contain us," Black Rutile sang out in victory. "but you can no longer discuss!"

"Genocide, slaughtering, jingoism, in enemy blood, we shall wade!" the seven Gems joined together in harmony. "Rutile Rebels come celebrate, as we make these foolish Crystal Gems fade!" By the time the song ended, Black Rutile looked out at the destruction below her and began making a speech. "People of Beach City, do not look away!" she bellowed to the humans below. "You witness a Rutile's revival, and the birth of her new empire!"

"What do you want now, Black Rutile?!" Lars yelled from below.

"What I want is recognition!" Black Rutile responded. "As you can see, I have officially conquered Little Homeworld and taken the Crystal Gems as my prisoners. The means as to how it can fly can all be blamed on their dear friend, Lapis Lazuli." She looked over at Lapis, who was sitting on the Warp Pad with a blank look on her face. "Despite what the Crystal Gems believed, Little Homeworld was the aspiration of idiots and dreamers! A mere tool to indoctrinate poor, unfortunate Gems who were living lives free of their tyranny. But unfortunately for them, I am far smarter than the average Gem, so I continued planning my revenge for months on end, which leads me today." She then sent out her drones, ready to attack at any moment. "Either surrender to me at once or else your pathetic little town will go bye-bye! Bye-bye."

Down below, Jasper and White Topaz were watching the carnage the entire time, lying in wait for an opportunity to strike back at Black Rutile and save their friends. "So, any idea on how to stop her?" Jasper asked her girlfriend. "I mean, it's just a bunch of us Gems that she could convert at any moment with those Blasters."

"Well, one thing's for certain, Black Rutile has gone too far this time." White Topaz declared. "We kept giving her second chance after second chance, but she always used them to try and destroy us! I've had enough of this! Once we defeat her, she's going straight to Revanche 666 where she belongs!"

"Someone's got leftover issues they need resolving." Teal Zircon added as she popped up behind the two big Gems. "Okay, Topaz and I have spent the last few minutes coming up with a plan."

"If it involves doing something astronomically stupid, then I don't want in." Jasper stopped Teal before she could finish. "What makes you think you could come up with an intelligent plan?"

"Because outside of being the obnoxious but lovable comic relief, I am actually far more observant than you think I am." TZ declared. "Which is why I am 10,000,000,000% certain that my plan will work."

"I'd like to see you try." Jasper scoffed before White Topaz placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Come on honey, just hear her out." White Topaz suggested. Jasper knew she couldn't disappoint her lover, so she relented with a sigh.

"Okay, proceed." Jasper groaned and let Teal explain.

"I say instead of just saving the day ourselves, we team up with the humans to save the world from Black Rutile!" Teal declared proudly. "The people of Beach City have been around us long enough to know what to do in situations like this, and we've gained a few allies over the years to back us up."

"I get what you're saying now." Jasper nodded proudly. "Like him for example!" As if on cue, Dr. James Brenner walked up to the three Gems. "I found him falling to his doom when Black Rutile threw him out. He's her psychologist, ergo, he should know exactly what she's thinking!"

"You are indeed correct, Jasper." Brenner declared. "I have been forced to watch as Black Rutile's schemes took shape, hoping that maybe my advice would get through to her, but alas, my words fell on deaf ears. Perhaps joining forces with all of you can help me redeem myself for being so powerless to help her."

"Great, we have our first recruit!" Teal Zircon cheered while giving the psychologist a hearty slap on the back. "Okay guys, I'll go gather the troops! You two on the other hand will have to find a very special someone."

"Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" Jasper then asked White Topaz.

"I think so Jasp, but Pete Rose?" White Topaz replied oddly, making Jasper raise an eyebrow at such a non-sequitur. "I mean, can we trust him?"

"No, I think Teal means we should fetch Connie!" Jasper yelled. "You and I both know she's been throwing a wrench in Black Rutile's plans multiple times! Her first invasion of Earth, the Steven monster crisis, and the alternate universe business, all of them had Connie involved and she played some role in stopping them all! You see what I'm getting at here?"

"Yeah, I get it now!" White Topaz exclaimed. "To Connie's house!" Just as the two raced off, a small black spy drone was watching the pair and quickly began following them.

"Breaking news all the way from Beach City!" Lawrence Abrams announced on the news. "The alien terrorist Black Rutile is once again laying waste to Beach City, and at the same time, our beloved president has been subject to a violent uprising against legions of angry Arnold Clump supporters led by the alt-right Internet personality Reginald Johnson. Are these two events connected? We'll be back after the break with more updates."

"Sweet Manila in the claws of light." Doug Maheswaran gasped in shock as he and Connie watched Black Rutile's invasion on the news. "This is probably something Steven should take care of, right?"

"Hopefully he at least knows what's going on," Connie added as she prepared to reach for her phone, only to hear a knock on the door. "Can someone get that?"

"Don't worry Connie, I'll get it," Priyanka said to her daughter as she opened the door to find Jasper and White Topaz waiting for her outside. "Oh, you must be that Jasper and Topaz who tore apart Beach City."

"You are never going to let go of that." Jasper declared. "Anyways, we need to see your daughter. The world is in danger and we need everyone we can get to save it."

"Right here!" Connie exclaimed while she raced up to the front door with her sword at the ready. "Come on guys, the Crystal Gems need us!"

"Yeah, about that." White Topaz stated nervously. "They kind of broke up because Black Rutile exposed Bismuth for poofing Lapis and is now holding them all hostage at Little Homeworld. Plus, Lapis officially betrayed them to Black Rutile and is helping make Little Homeworld fly. You know what, I think I know of a way to explain this better."

White Topaz then turned her fingers into puppet versions of the Crystal Gems to further go in depth about their situation. "Hey, what's this I hear about Bismuth poofing me and setting me on this path of torment and betrayal?!" her imitation of Lapis complained. "Oh no, the jig is up!" an imitation of Bismuth exclaimed. "Okay, I did poof you, Lapis, but I didn't mean to!"

"Saying you didn't mean it won't save you from me!" the shadow puppet of Lapis yelled before lunging at Bismuth, only for Garnet and Pearl to stop her.

"Top thirty reasons why Bismuth is sorry." The puppet version of Pearl stated. "Number 5 will surprise you."

"Top thirty anime deaths," puppet Lapis continued. "number one: YOUR BUTT RIGHT NOW!"

"I'm just here to be supportive!" a shadow puppet of Amethyst said as she took Lapis and Peridot's side in the tussle, ending with White Topaz making "whoop whoop whoop" sounds as she started twiddling her fingers into a big clump. "And scene!"

"Okay, I'm going to need a refresher here." Priyanka said, shocked at the bizarreness of White Topaz's show. "What does this all mean?"

"Look, the point is that Teal Zircon and all the Gems Black Rutile didn't convert are gathering everyone in Beach City to fight back against Black Rutile, and we believe Connie is the best possible candidate to lead them all." Jasper explained in brief. "If anyone else wishes to join, you're free to come along."

"But what about Steven?" Connie asked. "Surely he'd know what to do in this situation." Suddenly, the tracking drone from earlier emerged from Jasper's hair, making her and White Topaz wonder if it was following them the whole time, and dropped into Connie's hands to deliver a message from Black Rutile.

"Ah, Connie Meka-Leka-Hi-Meka-Hiney-Ho-Swanson, we meet again." The hologram of Black Rutile smirked at her message's intended recipient. "If you are seeing this message, then you're already well aware of my latest revenge scheme and how frequently you've been playing a part in my constant failures. I would kill you and your parents right here and now, but I believe that would be too easy." The very thought of being killed by such a madman unnerved the Maheswarans. "Which is I offer you this challenge! Meet me at the flying Little Homeworld in ninety minutes to face me for the fate of your wretched world, and bring company too. And for an extra challenge, Steven must not get involved in the slightest. Lose, I will kill each and every single one of you. Win?" She let out an evil chuckle. "The only winner will be me, no matter what. Allons-y!"

The drone then shut down and crumbled to pieces of metal in Connie's hand. Despite the threat to her life, it only made her more determined. "Take us to Beach City."

Later at Beach City, Teal Zircon was true to her word and had assembled the entirety of its citizens and then some to discuss their plans to stop Black Rutile. Along with all the Gems that escaped Black Rutile's earlier assault, there was the Barriga family and the Off-Colors, Sadie & Shep, the former Cool Kids, the Pizza and Fryman families, Mr. Smiley and Mr. Frowney, Jamie, Kevin, Onion and his friends, Vidalia, Yellowtail, and Sheena Synstylae. In addition, Teal had also managed to get into contact with Bane Jones, Beckham Jordan, Matt Monroe, Makoto Fuji, and Sam Galley. Now, all that was left was Connie and her parents to make their makeshift ary complete.

"My my Teal Zircon, you assembled quite an assortment of characters here." Brenner nodded at all the humans and Gems gathered together to stop Black Rutile. "But do you think this will be enough to stop her?"

"Oh, I know so!" Teal yelled excitedly. "You know those kinds of movies and TV shows where there's a team of people who cannot function together, but they pull through regardless? That's what I'm going for here. On our own, we're just a bunch of misfits. But when we're together, now that's something special." Just then, Connie, her parents, Jasper, and White Topaz appeared behind her from a portal created by Lion. "And there's our girl of the hour! Let's give her a hand!"

Everyone began applauding as Connie walked up to Teal Zircon. "Uh, hello everybody, thank you for inviting me to your little get-together. I'm afraid I'm going to need some catching up to do on what's been going on. I don't think a funny little puppet show is enough."

"Then allow me," Brenner said before he spoke to the audience. "As some of you may not know, our 'dear friend' Black Rutile", He put "dear friend" in air-quotes. "has enacted quite possibly her greatest revenge plot yet, and I bore witness to the fruits of her labor overtime as I was assigned to be her criminal psychologist. She has assembled criminal masterminds, bigoted online personalities, more old enemies of the Gems, and forlorn Gems looking for a place to belong. I have tried multiple times to convince her that she wasn't doing the right thing, but she kept ignoring me at every turn."

"Online personalities like who?" Ronaldo raised his hand, making the rest of the crowd turn to him. "You mean Sally Grove? I've had tons of arguments with her about the Gems before."

"Precisely that," James explained. "I have no idea why she is so cruel, but she seemed perfect as one of Black Rutile's top lieutenants, using her social media influence to gather more human followers through the Internet. There is also Francis von Bowling and his cohorts from P.H.A.N.T.O.M, no doubt brought in for their vendetta against the Gems too."

"Well, I'll be." Bane Jones muttered in bemusement while preparing a technologically advanced shotgun.

"In addition, Black Rutile is now joined by this Marty fellow, who claims to have his own grudge because Steven took his son away from him." James continued, giving him strained looks from Greg and Vidalia. "Together, these scoundrels have converted multiple Gems through these strange blasters built to brainwash anyone hit by them!"

"It's because of those blasters Black Rutile took away my crew!" Nephrite sobbed into Biggs Jasper's arms.

"She took out almost the entire Famethyst!" Carnelian added.

"And like, tons of other quartz Gems too." Chest Rose stated. "Me, my sibs, Biggs, Tiger's Eye, and Cherry are the only ones left."

"Hopefully what the Black Pearls said about finding a way to restore them is true." Cherry Quartz nervously said, looking over at the Black Pearl Brigade.

"So, what can we all do?" Beckham Jordan asked. "We're all just a bunch of humans and Gems who have no idea how unprepared we are for this! Heck, I'm just a star basketball player who knows more about how to score a point than fighting battles! What would happen if one of us were to die today? Besides, Steven won't be here to help us!"

"I promise you all, I won't let that happen." Connie declared before unsheathing her sword and holding it to the sky. "The Crystal Temps will defend this planet to the end!"

"Wait, is that what we're calling ourselves?!" Kevin yelled from afar. "Why not something cooler like the Substitute Crystal Gems, or something?!"

"It's very sentimental!" Connie hurriedly replied. "Now who's with me?!"

"I am!" Orange Spodumene yelled while raising her hand.

"I am!" Kofi Pizza and Mr. Fryman shouted in unison.

"And me too!" Sam Galley added excitedly. "Also, just want to get this outta the way, but I have a bit of a crush on Amethyst."

"Me three!" Lavenderine shouted, followed by a wave of excitement from the gathered New Crystal Temps.

"Aw, what the heck, I haven't got that long a lifespan anyways." Kevin resigned himself to the cause. While Connie proudly looked over at the crowd united for a singular purpose, she felt a familiar hand touching her shoulder.

"I'm in too." Priyanka proclaimed, much to her daughter's surprise. "After that hospital incident, I feel like it's time for me to get involved in your Crystal Gem business and be on the frontlines."

"Well, someone's a little eager." Brenner smiled at Priyanka before looking over at Doug. "And what shall you do for this, sir?"

"I think I'll go look into the Sally Grove situation." Doug answered. "Her parents deserve to know that their daughter is basically selling out the human race to Black Rutile. But be sure to call me so I can still join in."

"Black Rutile told me that I have to meet her in ninety minutes," Connie announced while looking at her watch. "Well, this announcement went by quicker than expected. Anyways, let's save the world!" The New Crystal Temps then began cheering for their grand leader.

Meanwhile, in the dark void of space, Revanche 666 was now completely abandoned following Cinnabar and Andesine's escape from the prison. Black Pearl guards, Bismuths, and Peridots were locked in cells formerly occupied by members of the Rutile Rebels, surviving on a false hope that someone would come to save them. However, two particular prisoners weren't meant to be there. They just wanted to get in, stop a prison riot, and get out. But fate had other plans.

"How long has it been since we were trapped here by Cinnabar's plotting and my own recklessness?" Hessonite muttered to Citrine as the two languished in their prison cells. "Feels like we've been stranded here for eons."

"It's only been a few weeks, Hessonite." Citrine stated. "But yeah, it really has felt like forever. I mean, it would take a miracle for someone to notice that we're stuck here!" Suddenly, the two heard something crash through the walls. "Well, what do you know?"

"Hey, anybody here?!" Spinel yelled as she and Lemon Jade emerged from a spaceship they just crashed into the prison. "The Diamonds were getting worried that something bad happened!"

"Over here Spinel, over here!" Hessonite yelled to Spinel. "Hello, it's me, Hessonite, and yes, I am exactly who you're looking for."

"Yeah, we haven't seen you guys since you went to stop that prison breakout," Spinel answered while turning her hand into a ventriloquist dummy resembling Yellow Diamond. "Old Yeller was like 'I fear something might've gone horribly wrong on Revanche 666. I need someone to volunteer to investigate.' Luckily, I was there to oblige."

"And I simply got dragged along." Lemon Jade added. "So what did happen?"

"We thought Andesine and her entourage had surrendered, but it was all a ruse she and Cinnabar set up to escape," Citrine explained to the visitors. "Now we're all stuck behind bars with no way to leave, no way of contacting anyone outside this prison, and no way to deactivate our cells. Do either of you have any bright ideas?"

"I got one! I saw this on a TV show once." Spinel replied before she leaned on the wall between Hessonite and Citrine's cells and gave it a hard knock, which somehow forced the destabilizing fields guarding the two to deactivate. "Ey!" she added with two thumbs up. "You can thank me later."

"Finally!" Hessonite sighed with relief while shaking Spinel's hand as she emerged from her cell. "But what about everyone else?"

"Don't worry, I got this," Citrine said as she walked out of her cell and straight to the control room.

"So, where are Cinnabar and Andesine now?" Lemon Jade asked Hessonite.

"The two of them are currently on Earth aiding Black Rutile in whatever harebrained scheme she has now planned," Hessonite stated while the prison staff was released from their cells. "We need to act quickly if we want to stop all of them in their tracks."

"Roger roger, live long and prosper and all that!" Spinel exclaimed. "Come on Jade, let's chew bubblegum and kick some butt! And I'm all out of bubblegum."

"I'm not sure if I'm equipped for a fight, but whatever you say, I'll follow," Lemon said as she, Spinel, Hessonite, and Citrine boarded the ship Spinel crashed earlier and took off for Earth to bring Cinnabar & Andesine to justice.

"Ocean Town." Doug muttered to himself as he pulled into Beach City's sister town, easily identified by a sign declaring "STILL NOT ON FIRE." His journey ended at a shabby but homely-looking one-story house where he pulled into the driveway before getting out and knocking on the front door. An overweight, middle-aged fellow with a receding hairline, a barely shaved mustache, and clothes that looked like they haven't been washed in days soon answered. "Hello, is this the Grove residence?"

"What's it to ya?" the fat man said while pulling a half-eaten hot dog out of his pocket to shove in his mouth.

"Doug Maheswaran from Beach City." Doug introduced himself to the man while pulling out his ID. "I'm here to speak about your daughter, Sally."

"Oh good, I thought you were here about the body we found on the train tracks." The man sighed in relief before turning his head to call for someone. "Maureen!"

"What?!" what Doug assumed to be the man's wife hollered back.

"We got a cop here to talk about Sally!" the man replied before letting Doug inside and sitting him down and offering him a drink. "Here, have a shot on me."

"No thanks, I'm good." Doug rejected the offer before a skinny woman hiding her bleached blonde hair in a bandana walked into the living room. "Hello there miss, I'm here to talk to you about your daughter's recent activities."

"Ah yeah, Sally." The woman said as she and her husband sat down on the couch. "I always kept hearing her talk with that alien woman on her whatchacallit….computer. Anyways, my name's Maureen Grove and this is my husband Carl."

"Well, that alien woman is a known bigoted criminal who is plotting to destroy the world." Doug revealed, making Carl and Maureen blankly stare at each other in silence. "Something the matter, you two?"

"Shoulda known our girl would do something like this." Maureen Grove shook her head in shame. "If you think Sally's views were a product of an abusive upbringing or some kind of trauma, I'm afraid you're mistaken, officer. She was diagnosed with kajigger disorder or something."

"Antisocial personality disorder." Carl Grove corrected his wife. "What we're saying is that Sally is just not a pleasant person to be around, especially in this current era of that danged Internet. She thrives on being so smug & self-righteous and making people hate her, yet at the same time she wonders why everyone hates her. And we've tried our best to help her, but she always kept picking on us for stupid reasons! It's absurd, I tells ya!"

"So, she brought this upon herself," Doug said while writing down in his notepad. "Would you care to further elaborate on her behavior?"

"She also had this TubeTube channel that barely had any subscribers because people would rather watch cat videos, let's plays, and those creepy kids' videos," Maureen answered. "But then came that weird monster attack last year, where everything changed forever."

"Sally honey, time for dinner!" Carl called for his daughter while knocking on the door. "Mama's making chili cheese dogs tonight!"

"I can buy and sell you, old man!" Sally insulted her father from behind her bedroom door.

"Fair enough, just starve then because I'm a man." Carl casually replied as he walked away. "I swear, we have got to get her a therapist soon." He muttered to himself. "Dropping out of college I can understand, but she desperately needs to do something with her life."

"CARL, GET DOWN HERE!" Maureen shrieked for her husband. "SOMEONE'S INTERRUPTED AMERICAN IDOL!"

"They WHAT?!" Carl bellowed as he charged down the stairs to see what was going on. To his alarm, their TV show was cut off by the sudden appearance of Black Rutile on their television screen as she made a speech.

"Greetings to the civilians of this backwater planet. I am Black Rutile, soon to be supreme ruler of the Gem race." Black Rutile introduced herself to audiences around the world. "I come to you today because you are faced with a crisis that has been right under your noses for thousands of years now, and it can all be blamed on the Crystal Gems."

"Nothing that changing the channel won't fix." Carl declared as he picked up the remote and tried switching to another channel. Unfortunately, Black Rutile was interrupting the programming there, and on every other channel too. "What the Sam Hill is going on here?! Who would believe such malarkey?!"

"They have been living among your people since the dawn of man, and have brought numerous world-ending threats along with." Black Rutile's speech continued on Sally's computer, much to her curiosity. "From loads of monsters that were formerly members of their kind, to insane terraformers that stole the ocean for selfish purposes followed by nearly drowning thousands once they returned the water to Earth, a superweapon made from the remains of their own kind that remains buried under the Earth as we speak, repeated counts of abductions and the near-genocide of all organic life." Despite Black Rutile clearly spreading lies about the Crystal Gems, the desperate TubeTube user felt a special sort of parasocial connection to her. "But now we are faced with a new problem, and it's all thanks to one Gem: Pink Diamond. It's because of her that this monstrosity plaguing the Earth at this moment is running amok and the Crystal Gems have done nothing to stop it, or her for that matter. Should you believe this planet is worth saving, something must be done about the Crystal Gems, or you will suffer the consequences. That will be all."

With the end of Black Rutile's warning, Sally's life was changed forever. Her TubeTube channel was then completely overhauled to benefit from her newfound hatred of the Crystal Gems. They caused so much chaos and destruction, yet they're celebrated as heroes. Sally simply gives her opinion, and she's constantly villainized for it. To her, that simply wasn't fair. But what no one realized about Sally was terrified of growing past her bigoted, misanthropic mindset and becoming a better person because she believed kindness and compassion were signs of weakness. And she despised being weak.

"Ever since then, that Black Rutile yutz has been a bad influence on our girl." Carl finished his story. "Sally's been completely off her rocker because of her. Every time we tried setting her up with various lovers, she just kept abusing them. Especially this one feller named Fred who she kept saying had a small di-"

"Anything else I should know before I leave?" Doug asked, cutting off Carl before he could finish. "What other crimes has she committed?"

"What hasn't she committed?" Maureen replied. "Thankfully, she hasn't done anything super serious, but she's also formed lynch mobs online against random people she hates, and cyberbullied her so-called friends away. And let's not forget that she wrote some really disturbing fanfiction!" She cringed in disgust at the thought.

"Right, thank you for your time, Mr. and Mrs. Grove, I promise I'll have your daughter returned home so she can get the help she deserves," Doug said as he got up and prepared to leave, only for Carl to stop him.

"Hey, before you go, officer," Carl said before presenting Doug with a chili cheese dog. "care for a chili cheese dog? Can't save the world on an empty stomach."

"You know what? I'll take it." Doug accepted the dog before pulling out his phone. "Connie, I'll be coming back soon. Is everything ready?"

"Almost, Dad," Connie responded. "Bane Jones helped us get everybody weapons for the big fight. We just need to wait on you now."

Elsewhere in Washington D.C., President Eduardo Suarez, his vice president Theresa Maxwell, Wade Grant, Lloyd Waller, and his presidential cabinet remained in hiding from the forces of Reginald Anderson. Having just witnessed his family being held hostage, the White House being overtaken, and one of the secret service agents under his employment brutally beaten to near death, the president was naturally anxious about what to do next. What's more, there's no way he can contact the Crystal Gems at the moment. He was at an utter loss at what to do.

"Never seen Eddy this worked up in ages," Theresa muttered in wonder at her president's nervous pacing. "Last time I've seen him like this was when Clump seemed to have beat him in the polls."

"I wouldn't blame him," Lloyd replied. "Country's in crisis again, plus his family is in grave danger. Poor thing looks like he'll have a panic attack at any moment."

"I'll go have a talk with him," Wade said as he walked over to his chief and put a hand on his shoulder. "Mr. President, are you feeling alright? Do you need anything before we make our decision?"

"No, I'm perfectly fine!" Eduardo exclaimed bravely, a far cry from the nervous front he was just putting up. "I'm willing to give everything for this country, as a good president should!" However, his courageous smile was quickly replaced with an insecure frown. "But what can I do when my family's lives are at stake here? One wrong move and I could lose everything."

"You're right, he's giving us a very tough choice here." Wade nodded when he suddenly got an idea. "Wait, I know!" Whatever he whispered into the president's ear, Eduardo was liking what he was hearing. "You got that?"

"I like what you're saying." Eduardo nodded. "Let's do it." Just then, three men opened the doors to One Observatory Drive and walked in. The first man wore a nice suit and was balding, while his two associates were dressed in a tank top and a collared shirt respectively. "Hello there."

"Greetings Mr. President, my name is Mr. Shreds." Mr. Shreds introduced himself to the president. "These are my two associates, Tank and Collar, and we are here to deliver you to Reginald Johnson so you can relinquish your presidency."

"Just move along now and don't keep us waiting!" Collar said as he and Tank took Eduardo by the arms and guided him to their limo. "Any last words, sir?"

"Yes, I'd like to make a personal request to Reginald." Eduardo nodded. "I'd like to have a public debate with him, face to face."

"As absurd as your request is, I shall grant it," Tank replied begrudgingly, not knowing what he was in for as the limousine drove away.

"So what did you tell him?" Theresa asked Wade as the two worriedly watched Eduardo be taken away.

"You'll see." Wade gave the vice president a knowing smirk.

"Making yourselves comfortable, Crystal Gems?" Black Rutile asked her prisoners while paying them one last visit to their cell. "Doesn't matter to me, because I got special plans for you."

"What is it now?" Peridot muttered disdainfully. "Is it about how you're so much better than us because you're not us?"

"Whatever it is, just get it over with already," Bismuth added sadly. "I deserve it for what I put Lapis through."

"Yes, yes you did." Lapis harshly agreed. "You poofed me and then forced me to be the dumb little plaything that you'll always throw away when you don't need me."

"You're still depressed about that?!" Black Rutile groaned in irritation as the brainwashed Emerald pulled up a throne for Black Rutile to sit on. "I'm saying that this could all be avoided if you joined me! Over time, I began to realize that the Rutile Rebels aren't as different from the Crystal Gems as I thought. We all started out as nobodies, did something extraordinary that made us different from the rest of our kin, rose to the top, and earned the respect of the Diamonds, only to have all torn down by a person who didn't even care about them." She declared. "I'll admit, when I first heard about Little Homeworld, I wanted to destroy it so bad, especially when you locked me up here. But after spending some time trapped here, I, ever the opportunist, decided that I could make it into something better!"

"Like turning it into our new secret lair for example!" Aquamarine added.

"And we have your stupid bickering to thank for it!" Eyeball said as all the other Rutile Rebels threw their heads back and laughed.

"What I'm trying to say is that there are special people like us who should run the world, and then there are the disgusting humans who deliver our food and fight our wars." Black Rutile continued. "Which is why I'm offering you this one-time opportunity. Let us work together for once so we can truly bring Gems and humans together in peace and harmony!" To emphasize her point, she turned on a news report documenting the attack on the White House. "Refuse, and I shall make you pay with your lives! Bring out the Disintegrator!"

"Wait, the Disintegrator?!" Bismuth shrieked in terror as Sally walked in with a small, glowing boxlike device in her hands that she set on the table. "I thought that was outlawed eons ago! How did you get one?!"

"You'd be surprised what I can accomplish through mixing Gem technology with human garbage." Black Rutile stated while presenting the device. "For those uninformed, most likely you Amethyst, this was an ancient torture device built to execute criminal Gems by grinding them up into dust and dispersing them in the air in a beautiful yet morbid fashion."

"Curious, most curious." Francis von Bowling nodded with intrigue. "And how does it work exactly?"

"Allow me to demonstrate." Black Rutile responded before presenting a small rock she placed in the Disintegrator. She then turned it on, and the rock was instantly ground up into dust in a terrifying show of the machine's power, leaving the Gems horrified yet not surprised she would use something like that. "That oughta show you for brainwashing us all!"

"You're kidding me?" Pearl scoffed. "You claim we're brainwashing Gems against their and forcing them to join our side when that's literally what you are doing with those devices! Those aren't rejuvenating blasters, they're inculcating blasters! All these new Gems of yours say: "All hail Black Rutile! All hail Black Rutile!", but the Gems we teach would never say anything like that. We didn't force them to come here, they made that choice willingly."

"Kind of like how Lapis willingly joined me after I convinced her of how alone we were in the universe?" Black Rutile retorted, pointing to a sullen Lapis in the darkness. "Or how I convinced Sally Grove here to be a kindred spirit?"

"Yeah, that reminds me," Amethyst asked. "How could you team up with someone that obviously evil? Surely, you must have some tragic reason for doing so, right?"

"No, no tragic reason at all," Sally admitted without a single ounce of empathy in her voice. "I just like being hated. It makes me feel powerful."

"Hatred makes all of us powerful." Holly Blue agreed with Sally, with Cat's Eye by her side with her cat Blake in her arms.

"Very powerful." Cat's Eye agreed.

"Okay, we've had enough taunting, let's get to executing!" Black Rutile declared eagerly as she began choosing which Crystal Gem to disintegrate. However, her choice was pretty easy. "Bismuth, do you volunteer as tribute?"

"Wait, what?!" Bismuth muttered as the brainwashed Demantoid and Pyrope freed her from her shackles to be executed. "You won't get away with this, Black Rutile!"

"As a matter of fact, I've gotten away with it months ago." Black Rutile cruelly sneered while shoving the Disintegrator towards Bismuth. "Now, you might feel a little tingle."

"Lapis, please, I'm sorry!" Bismuth cried out for possibly the last time to Lapis, but she didn't seem to listen. All Lapis could do was turn away in shame. As Bismuth was about to be thrown into the machine and the other Crystal Gems cried for Black Rutile not to do it, the Disintegrator was suddenly stabbed with an epee, causing it to shut down. "What?"

"You!" Black Rutile yelled at Tanzanite for destroying her machine. "I have put hours upon hours into building that, and you made it all for nothing!"

"That's because you've gone too far this time, and I can't do this anymore!" Tanzanite yelled angrily while proceeding to free Bismuth, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Peridot from their restraints. "Brainwashing is one thing, but executing too?"

"Are you seriously trying to talk back to your master?" Black Rutile growled angrily. "You know how Rose lied to you, you know how she left you to die and become part of a planet-destroying abomination against your will! I was there for you, and this is how you repay me?!"

"Yes, the Crystal Gems aren't honest, but their intentions are definitely real." Tanzanite declared firmly, bringing a tear to Pearl's eye before her former student was threatened with Black Rutile's bowie knife.

"Take that back and fight for me, or pay the price." Black Rutile ordered Tanzanite to stand down, and the punk purple Gem meekly did as she was told while Navy raced up to her master's side. "Yes, Ruby?"

"We got humans and enemy Gems at 12:00!" Navy yelled hurriedly.

"Did you tell them I hate them?" Black Rutile asked while turning her bowie knife into her sword. "No matter." With a superhuman leap, Black Rutile bounded out of her lair and landed in front of the New Crystal Temps before striking a pose as she drew her sword. "Well, don't stop on my account."

"Black Rutile, we've come to finally bring you to justice!" Connie declared while raising her sword in the air. "In the name of the Crystal Gems, the planet Earth, and the entire universe, we'll punish you for your crimes. And this time, we'll make it permanent. Do you yield?"

Black Rutile just sneered at Connie's bold declaration and responded with simply "I do not." With a snap of her fingers, the other Rutile Rebels, including a reluctant Tanzanite and Lapis, soon gathered behind her to counter Connie's forces. Just then, however, the Crystal Gems leaped out from behind the Rutile Rebels to join Connie and the others, followed by Spinel, Hessonite, Citrine, and Lemon Jade crashing into Little Homeworld on their ship.

"CRYSTAL GEMS!" Garnet roared while summoning her gauntlets. "Assemble." With that, everyone behind Connie roared as they charged into battle against Black Rutile and her enforcers, along with legions of brainwashed Gems, Concrete warriors, and Cactus & Topiary Stevens once again forced to serve Black Rutile. This was a day unlike any other when humans and Gems alike found themselves united against a common foe for the first time in thousands of years. On that day, everyone in Beach City became a Crystal Gem.

"Of course, you would find a way to ruin my plans!" Black Rutile said as she got into an intense swordfight with Connie. The battle for Earth had already gotten off to a rousing start. Bane Jones and Beckham Jordan fought side by side against von Bowling and his men, Kevin and Vidalia were up against Marty in a mechanical war suit, and Lars had a rematch with Emerald, among many other battles. "For too long now, you've always been interfering and you didn't even know it!"

"It's called loyalty Black Rutile, something you would probably never know!" Connie retorted before going in for a stab, only to be blocked by Sally Grove fighting back with a laser sword. "And as for you!"

"Don't even try to preach to me, little girl." Sally taunted in her usual high and mighty fashion. "We all know you would've found a way to call your white savior because you have no other personality outside of being his protector! You're a disgrace to your ethnicity, brat!"

"That's what you think, bullying my daughter like that!" Priyanka retorted with a sword of her own to fight Sally and Black Rutile with. "Apologize to her at once or I will reveal everything your parents told my husband!"

"What do you mean I have to apologize?! She attacked me!" Sally said before she realized what the doctor meant. "Wait, really? Oh no, no no no no!"

"Yeah, they told me some pretty messed up stuff about you," Doug said while putting out his notepad and reading what he had written earlier, making Sally writhe in agony while Black Rutile looked disdainfully at her human charge. "Let's see, abusing everyone around you, including your own parents, refusing to grow beyond your toxic personality while also blaming it on everyone around you, that disturbing fanfiction-"

"It's only disturbing from a certain point of view, having sexual relationships with your family members is perfectly normal in some parts of the world!" Sally only kept digging herself deeper into insanity in her attempts to preserve her image, unaware that Ronaldo had been live-streaming her this entire time, and her reputation was falling apart by the second. "Hey, turn that camera off!"

"No way, this is going to make a killing on Keep Beach City Weird!" Ronaldo laughed mischievously. "Wow, these negative comments expressing how betrayed your viewers must be for how much of a hypocrite you're being are coming in by the dozens."

"It's the same story I've seen so many times." Doug shook his head in disgust as Sally had an utter breakdown in front of the Maheswarans and Black Rutile, who was just as disgusted at how pathetic her partner was. "A fine, upstanding bigot. Your nose is so close to the grindstone, you can't see anything else. Meanwhile, the world changes and grows, and you're blind to it! Ignorant and proud of it too."

"Am I glad that's not me!" Black Rutile scoffed hypocritically as Sally was handcuffed and taken somewhere safe until the battle was over. "Now where were we? Oh yes!" She immediately got right back to her clash with Connie.

"So, calming down Lapis." Peridot muttered as she, Jasper, and White Topaz stood in front of Lapis and Phoenix Lapis fighting Laz and Zuli. "Got any ideas?"

"You're her life partner, you should know!" Jasper exclaimed while Laz and Zuli fought for their lives. "Paz, got any bright ideas?"

"I think I might have a good idea of what to do." White Topaz declared. "Bismuth, we need your help!"

"I'm in the middle of something here!" Bismuth replied while she was fighting Andesine and Cinnabar. "Oh, you want me to make up with Lapis, right?"

"Hopefully having her back on our side will turn the tide of battle!" White Topaz suggested, causing Bismuth to knock her two opponents out and walk up to her. "Just say what you need to say and hopefully she'll listen."

"This had better work." Bismuth took a deep breath and yelled "HEY LAPIS, OVER HERE!" The four Lapises then turned to see Bismuth below. "No, not you, the one who hates me!" she corrected herself.

"What do you want now?" Lapis angrily asked as she hovered on the ground.

"Listen Lapis, I know you won't ever forgive me and the other Crystal Gems for what we did to you," Bismuth said. "but I swear, if you listen and understand we didn't know what we did, maybe we can finally start making amends."

"Wait, you mean it?" Lapis's face softened in surprise.

"Yeah, we're still your friends!" White Topaz declared happily.

"And besides, I'm the only one who gets to be all sullen and betrayed here!" Jasper added before reaching her hand out. "Just take my hand."

Lapis started smiling again, bringing smiles to Peridot and White Topaz's faces as well, and began to reach out to Jasper. However, she was quickly interrupted by Cinnabar and Andesine's groups pointing their Rejuvenation Blasters at the Crystal Gems.

"Make another move, and we'll have to reset all of you." Cinnabar declared coldly.

"Now then, any last words?" Andesine smirked.

"I got one," Bismuth stated before raising her fist at Lapis's gem. "Please don't hate me for this again!" With a single punch, Lapis was poofed yet again, this time to save her from being shot with the Rejuvenation Blaster as the Rutile Rebels began opening fire, prompting Bismuth, Jasper, White Topaz, and Peridot to scatter.

"I'll be taking this to reverse-engineer, thank you very much!" Peridot snickered as she robbed Howlite of her Blaster to experiment on and ran away with a maniacal "NYEH-HAHAHAHAHA!"

"After her!" Howlite commanded and raced after Peridot with Dalmatian Jasper, Zoisite, Amber, and Xenotime behind her.

"Check it out, I got a Rejuvenation Blaster!" Peridot said to Squaridot and IQ while presenting the stolen blaster to them. "Maybe we can work together to find a way to use it to get everyone back to normal!"

"That's some good thinking, Peridot." Squaridot complimented the other Peridot's idea before the three geniuses snuck off to get to work.

"So it's come to this, Tanzanite, the student versus the master," Pearl said as she took a battle stance, and Tanzanite did the same. "Tell me Tanzanite, why did you join Black Rutile instead of accepting everything as it was? I understand if you felt betrayed by Rose, but this is not a healthy way of coping."

"It's because I just wanted to save everyone from what I suffered," Tanzanite revealed sadly as she clashed with her former mentor. "My friends! My family! Everything I did was for the galaxy, for the Crystal Gems! But it was all for nothing, Pink Diamond used all of us to avoid the consequences of her actions." Despite how much Pearl tried to speak up, Tanzanite kept ranting. "I had to use my skills on friends; on family; Gems that I knew. She controlled us through lies." She then let out a strained and tearful laugh. "Homeworld, no better than the rebels Rose created. I helped terrorize my people! I wanted you to stop it, I had to stop it. I spoke out. I spoke out to Black Rutile, to save everyone from you! But when I did, I only stood with a monster. You chose Pink Diamond." Now, Tanzanite was on the verge of tears as she sobbed into Pearl's chest. "You left me, gave me no choice! The Diamonds wanted to destroy worlds, and they did. Pink destroyed mine."

"Oh, poor dear," Pearl muttered sorrowfully while holding her old student close. "But do you still believe Black Rutile is good for you?"

"I'm not sure if anyone is good for me." Tanzanite sobbed. "I don't know if Black Rutile really cares for me or if she just saw me as a tool."

"Black Rutile never cared for anyone to begin with." Pearl declared before she held Tanzanite's head in her hands. "I'm truly sorry that I made you choose this path, and I promise that there will be no more secrets between us from now on. Is that good?"

"Yeah, but I'm not sure if I can forgive myself for this." Tanzanite agreed just as she felt the business end of a Rejuvenation Blaster pressing the back of her head.

"Another last-minute betrayal, I see." Andesine grinned while preparing to pull the trigger, only for Tanzanite to smack it out of Andesine's hands with her epee before stabbing her in the chest.

"Now look what you made ME do," Tanzanite smirked as she threw what Andesine said when she shattered her back in the red Gem's face before she poofed.

"Okay Mr. S, here we are." Mr. Shreds said as he pulled the limo up to the White House and let Eduardo out. "Just make it quick, I'm on a tight schedule here," Eduardo said nothing as he saw his family surrounded by terrorists and Reginald smugly standing by a video camera and a podium.

"Go on Mr. Prez, don't be shy." Reginald mockingly urged Eduardo. "Just say what you need to say."

"That's exactly what I was going to say to you." Eduardo declared before trapping Reginald in a headlock. "NOW!" The SWAT team immediately overwhelmed Reginald's enforcers while Reginald tried his best to fight back, only to be met with a krav maga kick from Theresa, coming straight out of nowhere.

"Did you plan all this?!" Reginald shouted.

"Well, not necessarily," Eduardo replied as Wade and Lloyd came to handcuff Reginald. "It's just that I'm far more quick on my feet than you'll ever be."

"Dad!" Huey and Riley Suarez cried as Theresa freed them from their restraints and hugged their father.

"Oh, mi preciosos, I was so worried," Eduardo said as he hugged them back before seeing Arlene walk towards them as well. "And I surely didn't forget you, my love."

"And you never will," Arleen replied before kissing her husband. And so, the White House was saved, thanks to the president and his quick thinking. Now all he had to do was hope that the Crystal Gems were doing alright.

"Must I remind you of my superiority, pretty boy?" Marty taunted Kevin while showing off the capabilities of his war suit. "Face it, hiding behind all these beautiful women won't get you anywhere in life!"

"Yeah, I'm absolutely unequipped for this, but that won't stop me from trying!" Kevin exclaimed before beginning to fight back.

"How could you, Marty?" Vidalia asked her ex-husband. "I knew you were a dirtbag, but selling out the entire human race for what? Just because you're mad we disowned you!"

"Oh yeah, I'm absolutely livid," Marty agreed. "but I'm mostly just here to get even with you guys. I don't give a damn about Black Rutile's whole rebellion business!"

Meanwhile, Bane Jones, Beckham, Makoto, and Matt were all standing back-to-back against Francis von Bowling's men. "So, when this is all over, could I perhaps get an autograph?" Bane asked Beckham. "I'm a huge fan, and I consider it an honor to be fighting for Earth with you."

"I'd be more than happy to." Beckham smiled at the offer.

"Hey boys, can we pick up the pace a bit?!" Makoto said while delivering an upside-down spinning kick to Konstantin, Pavel, and Leo at once.

Above the chaos going on in Little Homeworld, Black Rutile stood atop the whirlybird tower and was not happy with how her forces were losing. "STOOOOOP THEM!" she shrieked angrily while pulling at her hair just as she turned to see Connie, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Peridot, Bismuth, Jasper, White Topaz, Spinel, Hessonite, and now Tanzanite standing behind her. "You! You ruined everything again! I could've made everything perfect!"

"You didn't want to make things perfect." Tanzanite declared to Black Rutile. "You just hated things the way they are."

"This is your final warning, Black Rutile." Garnet declared. "And this time, we won't be giving you a second chance. You and your minions are headed straight for Revanche 666 after this!"

"Fine, if I can never win, then neither should you!" Black Rutile completely snapped. "Aquamarine, Eyeball, Chrome Chalcedony, to me!"

"Ready as always, Black Rutile!" Aquamarine said as she and Eyeball fused into Bluebird Azurite, while Holly Blue and Cat's Eye arrived to make Chrome Chalcedony.

"And now, for a little surprise!" Bluebird proclaimed.

"I have a little joke for you all." Black Rutile smiled dementedly while grabbing Bluebird's hand. "What do you get when you cross a depressed loner with a society that abandons her and treats her like trash?!"

"That's not a very good joke!" Amethyst replied.

"I'll tell you what you get, you get what you deserve!" Black Rutile shrieked before she and Bluebird merged to form Pietersite, now sporting Black Rutile's new pink cape and red visor in addition to her outfit now looking different to fit Aquamarine's regeneration.

"PIETERSITE LIVES!" Pietersite bellowed loudly for all to hear and cringe in fear. "AND NOW CRYSTAL GEMS, IT IS TIME FOR THE FINAL CURTAIN CALL!"

"I don't think so!" Peridot said as she fired a Rejuvenation Blaster at the two fusions, which they dodged only for the blast to hit one of Nephrite's crew and revert her to normal. "I stole one of those blasters from Howlite and reverse-engineered them to change everyone hit by them back to normal."

"I'm free, I've been freed!" the Nephrite cheered at finally being brought back to her old self.

"What?" Pietersite muttered in horror as the Crystal Gems immediately understood what was going to happen and raced down to solid ground so they can do the same for all the other Gems Black Rutile converted. "No! No no no! Don't do that, I worked so hard!"

"Stop them!" Chrome Chalcedony added as she and Pietersite tried fighting back against the enemy, but as the Crystal Gems' forces grew with every Gem turned back to normal, they were quickly outnumbered.

"Well, we're boned," Apatite muttered as she and Amazonite prepared to leave. "Let's skedaddle!"

"I don't think that'll be necessary," Amazonite replied as she and Apatite found themselves confronted by the entirety of Beach City's population, and they weren't happy.

"Goin' somewhere?" Sheena Synstylae cracked her neck and her knuckles.

"Don't worry, you're not the only ones we'll be punishing," Lars added.

"We'll finally gain an advantage over Black Rutile!" Padparadscha Sapphire exclaimed happily.

Pietersite could barely comprehend what happened, and it was so anticlimactic too. Her forces were subdued, her weapons seized and modified to fix what she had done, and now all that was left of the Rutile Rebels was her, Aquamarine, and Eyeball once again. "Please no, just give me a second chance!"

"Not likely," Lapis said as she summoned a sawblade made of water that sliced Pietersite in half, barely giving her a chance to fight because the Crystal Gems now considered Black Rutile to be that pathetic to not even consider a grander defeat. To seal the deal, Little Homeworld was returned to its rightful place outside of Beach City with help from the Lapis Lazulis.

Black Rutile, Aquamarine, and Eyeball all fell to the ground in defeat, while the rest of the Rutile Rebels were brought together in chains. "I hate happy endings."

"Well, that should about wrap everything up!" Pearl sighed in relief once the dust settled. "Now then, it's off to Revanche 666 you all go!"

"And me too," Tanzanite added, much to Pearl's shock. "Even if I changed my ways, I still need to forgive myself for siding with Black Rutile too."

"Indeed, young Tanzanite." James began one final monologue. "At the end of the day, we are all but individuals crying for fairness in our lives. You won't get everything, but you'll get something. The Crystal Gems finally restore peace, while Black Rutile hopefully realizes how futile her schemes were. In the end, we just need to decide what is fair and what isn't."

"Oh, be quiet!" Black Rutile said as Hessonite and Spinel carted her away to the ship Andesine and Cinnabar hijacked in their prison break, while everyone was left to rejoice.

"So, that's all that happened?" Steven asked Connie a few days later over video chat. "Wow, sounds like you had quite the adventure."

"Yeah, and that's not even getting into what happened next," Connie stated. "First, Marty's now on the run from the law and lost everything. Then, Kevin got a key to the city."

"That's a phrase I never expected to hear." Steven laughed. "What else happened?"

"The Crystal Gems have all made up with each other and the Diamonds, and they're getting the therapy they need from Dr. Sucrose, Mr. Ikari, and Dr. Brenner." Connie continued. "Speaking of which, Brenner put Sally Grove under house arrest and is writing a book about the psychology of influencers, Neil Michaels is stuck doing ChikFlix movies to recoup his losses, Francis von Bowling is stuck in prison with Reginald Johnson, the president is still alive, and finally, the Rutile Rebels are all safely behind bars for what they've done. But I kinda doubt they'll stay there for long because evil geniuses are harder to squash than cockroaches."

"Hey, Connie!" Lapis cried while knocking on Connie's window, now back in her Crystal Gem uniform. When Connie peeked her head outside, she could see the other Crystal Gems outside her house. "You got a minute?"

"I'll call you back Steven!" Connie said before hanging up on Steven and racing outside to meet with her alien friends, no doubt to go on another adventure together. In the distance, the Officer was recording everything he saw and sending it to his masters.

Meanwhile, on Revanche 666, the prison was restored to order as the Rutile Rebels were locked behind the destabilizing fields in their cells.

"Hey, don't be so bummed out everyone!" Kyanite exclaimed. "We can make prison life fun!"

"Oh be quiet!" Zoisite yelled angrily.

"I did pretend to get sent to prison only to get sent to prison for real!" Amber added. "I'm getting anxious!"

"Hey, is no one going to check up on Black Rutile?" Dalmatian Jasper asked while pointing at Black Rutile sitting calmly in her cell.

"She's looking even mopier than me," Xenotime added worriedly. "I hope she's alright."

Hiding from the endless chatter of Zoisite's team, a restored Emerald, Morganite, Demantoid & Pyrope who were behind bars to repent, Black Rutile gazed emotionlessly at her hand as she wondered how it all came to this. So many months of planning have now gone to waste, once again because of the Gems' human friends. This made her finally ask herself one thing. "Is this still worth it?"