Archive of Our Own ^beta

Sawamura was strong-willed.

He had everything pretty much in control when Keishin walked with Takeda for the first time into the gym.

He had no reason to doubt his abilities as the team captain.

He made sure everyone ate a snack before going home after practice, he made sure to clean up the gym before locking up, and he made sure his kouhais were on top of their coursework before they were even allowed inside the gym for afternoon practice.

He was the team captain, who always kept his teammates in line.

Maybe too in line.

To be honest the first time Keishin ever heard the nickname he was taken aback.

Sure these were high school boys, and he had met his fair share of American high school boys when he went on a trip abroad with one of the neighborhood associates a few years back.

But he never thought these were the type of nicknames they gave each other.

“Dadchi!”

The sound of the two loudest second years accompanied by the loudest first year snaps Keishin back out of his daydreaming.

He can hear a tired sigh come from the boy in question and Keishin looks to see what it's all about.

“What is it now?”

“Ok, so Hinata sent me this idea he had and…” The conversation continues with Tanaka and Nishinoya explaining whatever the heck Hinata had mentioned to them. But Keishin cut off the noise and went back to observing the remaining players.

Asahi was getting better at controlling his power levels, Yamaguchi’s practice with Shimida is paying off and he’s been hitting more closely to where he wants the ball to go, but Kinoshita’s float is also getting better. Sugawara’s setting had been getting a bit more accurate, not to the extent as Kagayama’s but it is up there. Ennoshita’s defense is becoming better as well, overall the players he can see right now have improved by leaps and bounds.

But that doesn’t take away from the fact that some of the more ‘valuable’ players aren’t here. Keishin doesn’t like to use that word, it leaves a bad taste in his mouth especially since he went through something like that in his teen years, but he hated to admit that without them they were down.

Down by a lot, Kageyama had the amazing opportunity of being invited to the All-Japan Youth Camp in Tokyo, and Tsukishima had been invited to a smaller camp hosted by Shitaroizawa’s and Jozenhji’s coaches with Hinata tagging uninvitedly along.

To sum it up, half of their starting lineup was out for five days.

Keishin can already feel the migraine forming when they all come back in three days.

God, he wanted to smoke.

But he was an adult, doing adult things, and adulting.

He had to be a role model to the boys.

This is why Keishin made the exclusive decision to not smoke when and where the boys could see him (even though it was hard at first). And why he took off his piercing when he entered the gym. And why he chose to make sure he never smelt like secondhand smoke from the cigarettes when he chose his coaching outfit for the day.

He may not be the best academic role model, but when it came to being a decent male figure the boys see the most, he was gonna try his hardest.

He glanced at the watch on his wrist and noticed it was getting a little later than usual. He had a tendency to try and wrap things up before the sun went down, not that it ever worked, since the ginger head had to bike a mountain (and that genuinely shocked Keishin when he found out). But since the boy he most worried about when getting home wasn’t here he decided to let practice run a little longer.

“Okay! Stretch and start cleaning up! I let it practice on for a bit longer than usual, you might be a bit more tired so rest well!”

He got some responses back and began to pick up the remaining balls and drop them into the ball cart.

“Coach!! Can we get some meat buns from your store?! Please!!” Tanaka and Nishinoya yelled together.

“You boys got meat bun money?” He asked, not even looking back at them as he began to lower the net. The silence that followed the question answered it for him.

He sighed as he rolled up the net, “Fine, but make sure to help out with cleaning.” he finished rolling the net up and passed it to the taller of the two, and walked back to his original spot next to Takeda. The not-so-silent victory behind him made him try to hide the smile forming on his face.

Shaking his head he gathered his personal items and headed outside.

Making sure everyone was out of the gym and on their way to change in the club room before turning off the gym light and locking up. He chatted with Takeda and waited for the team to get back so he could walk them to his store and get them their snacks.

And while he hated to admit he was soft for the boys, he always made sure his mom saved at least fourteen meat buns saved for after closing. Twelve were so each boy got one, and the other two were if the girls wanted one too. Most of the time they branched off from the boys going in a different route to take the train, but on the occasion, they wanted to join in on the snacking, they always had a meat bun waiting for them.

Leading the group of boys like a herd of sheep they walk down the streetlight-illuminated road. The quiet chatter mixed with the sound crunching of snow beneath their feet made from behind him puts Keishin at ease.

They make it to the store, Keishin opening and holding the door open for boys to come in and get out of the cold.

"Hi, mom." He nods to her where she's sitting on her stool behind the counter. The boys follow suit and greet her with the appropriate greetings.

Keishin walks into the back to grab the meat buns and comes back out to some of the boys buying other drinks and snacks.

"So you did have meat bun money?" Keishin quirks an eyebrow up at the boys. The ones in 'trouble' jump in surprise at his voice.

"C-coach!" They shout together. "I'm kidding." He says and hands the bags of meat buns to Sawamura, who he can assure will pass them out evenly.

"Thank you!!" The group bows and shouts before scrambling on Sawamura for their share.

"Make sure you get home safe, shower, eat a good meal, and sleep at a reasonable time!" He says as the boys walk out of his shop.

"Yes, coach!"

"Guys, make sure to text in the group chat when you're all home safe ok? The roads are cold and we don't wanna lose any of our players." Sugawara says before walking off with Asahi in the direction of their homes.

The group slowly breaks off with the remaining boy being Sawamura.

"What's wrong captain?" Keishin asks, noticing the boy has been staring at his phone for a few minutes and not leaving like the rest.

Said boy jumps in shock and turns to the older man. "Oh it's nothing, coach, my mom was just messaging me about what dinner she had prepared for me." He said, putting his phone in his pocket.

"Okay, just make sure you get home safe and stay warm." Keishin says before Turin the 'open' sign to 'close'.

"Will do coach!" The boy said and turned around making his way down the road.

Keishin watches him until she can no longer see him in the darkness. Closing the door, making sure it was properly locked, and pulling down the protective gate. Keishin turns to the backroom door and turns off the light. Locking the door he helps his mom up the stairs and into her room before he lets out a tired sigh and begins to get ready for bed.

—

Thirty minutes later he's showered and already laying in bed, in sweatpants and a long sleeve with a notebook writing down some ideas for plays and workouts to try with the boys. He sets down the pen and book before stretching and letting a few cracks in his back pop before sighing. He closes the book and sends it with the pen on his bedside table. He's about to turn off his lamp when his phone starts ringing.

He picks it up without looking at the caller ID wondering who the hell decides to call so late.

"Hello?"

"Keishin."

"Takinoue, why the hell are you calling so late?"

"Look something happened-"

"Oh God, did someone die?"

"What? No-"

"Did someone kill anyone"

"No-!"

"Did anyone get arrested?"

"Keishin!"

"What!?" He yells finally, wondering why Takinoue won't just say what he was talking about.

"I saw Sawamura walk out of a convenience store with a pack of cigarettes."

Oh.

"What are you talking about? This better not be some joke."

Keishin was a role model. Trying to be a role model. Sure the boys might know what smoking was, but seriously, if they saw he was cutting back, surely they could figure it out for themselves that they were bad.

"What? Keishin, I would never joke about this. I know how much you care for them that the mere thought of them doing this is crushing you. But I'm saying this entirely seriously, I saw Sawamura walk out if a store with a pack of cigarettes." The man's voice from across the line practically echoes in Keishin's quiet room.

Keishin sighs and falls back on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

"OK, did you see if he bought anything else? Or where he went?" Keishin questions.

"No, he just walked out with a single pack of cigarettes, and then reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter. I think."

"You think?"

"It was dark, I couldn't see exactly when he was getting there. I didn't follow him, I just panicked and called you." Takinoue says. And it's just now that Keishin can hear how hard he's breathing.

"Okay, thank you for telling me, I'll talk to him," Keishin says.

"Of course, and Keishin?"

"Hmm."

"Don't be too hard on him, his face looked like he regretted it but I'm not exactly sure."

"Ok." That's all Keishin says before hanging up.

God, he was really gonna become a father figure to this boy and question him, huh?

—

He walks into morning practice completely out of his mind.

He has no plan on how to handle this.

Ok, that's a lie. He has a plan, but it's not very good.

Step 1: Get a first year or second year to get the cigarettes in question.

This was a bit easy. Finding a person to do it, and convincing them though, was a bit harder.

"Yamaguchi!" Keishin yells while the boys are doing their stretches. He makes sure the boy heard and saw him wave him over before walking outside of the gym.

"Uh, coach?" The timid boy walks over, closing the gym door to prevent cold air from going inside.

Good.

That means it's less likely for someone to hear them.

" I want to preface this by telling you no, you're not in trouble, and no, I'm not kicking you off the team, so let out that breath you've been holding." Keishin has been around the boy long enough to practically hear his thoughts just by looking at him.

The first year quite literally lets out his breath before looking back at him.

"I want you, either when you go change after this practice or afternoon to look through Sawamura's bag."

"What?!" The boy panics and takes a step back. Keishin held out a hand to stop, not wanting to scare the boy off.

"What I'm about to tell you, you tell no one. Including Tsukishima, okay? You do and you'll be doing double the drills and sit out next match" Keishin waits for the first year to agree before continuing.

"A friend of mine called me last night, and we believe Sawamura is smoking, we need to either stop him or get him help. And by doing that, we need to get the cigarettes away from him." Keishin explains.

"Oh, I think I can do that. How're you sure he has them on him? Like, that he brought them to school?" Yamaguchi asks.

"As someone who, not so proudly, started smoking in high school, I know for a fact he brought them to school. If he doesn't use them during school hours at the very least it calms him down knowing no one can find them in his house." Keishin says.

"Okay, where do you think he'd hide them?"

"In either one of his bags, or his club locker, or his school pants pockets. Somewhere he'd have the close." Keishin explains.

"Okay, do you think I can give them to you by afternoon practice? If what you say about him getting anxious if he doesn't know where they are, I don't want to cause the captain to be distracted during class. I know how bad general anxiety can be and I don't want to cause another person to do that." The boy says while looking down, suddenly finding his shoes interesting.

"That's fine, but I would like to get them away from him as soon as possible," Keishin says, finding the boy's kindness endearing.

"OK, can I go back now? I don't wanna fall behind on the warm-ups." The boy says pointing behind him. He runs and closes the door behind him carefully when Keishin gives him the go ahead.

Keishin sighs and pinches his nose.

These kids

—

After informing Takeda of what he had heard, his plans, and what he's gonna try to do. He got the go-ahead from the teacher and now felt a bit more confident in this whole instructing process.

When the boys get ready for their afternoon practice, Yamaguchi is the second to last, Sugawara being the last due to locking up the club room.

Yamaguchi walks quickly and quietly, trying to make sure no one is watching him as he gets closer to Keishin.

He hands him a bento box.

"Here's the rice balls I was talking about earlier, I just want the box back please, when you're done," Yamaguchi says, making eye contact with him.

Sneaky

Keishin nods with a small smile and grabs the box.

Keishin sets it next to his other personal items and goes back to coaching the boys through their drills.

—

"Okay, that's a wrap! Everyone stretches and then start cleaning up." Keishin calls out. Clapping his hands together. Some boys fall to the floor in exhaustion while others go to grab their water bottles.

Step 2: Inform Sawamura of needing to talk

Keishin heads over to where Sawamura is standing, rarely away from the other two third years.

"Sawamura, when we get to the store I need to talk to you. Alone." Keishin says, trying not to freak the boy out. He gets a quick nod in return and walks back over to Takeda.

He nods to Takeda signifying his plan in motion. They watch the boys clean up and go to the club room. Locking up the gym and turning the lights off.

When The boys come back, Sawamura is a few steps behind them, looking a bit panicked. As much as he hates to do this to the boy, it's needed. He has a job of protecting his team, even from themselves. Especially themselves, when they are clearly going down a destructive path.

Once again walking the boys to the store, it practically goes the same as yesterday.

They get their meat buns, some buy a drink or an extra snack, and they begin to walk away and make their way home. Keishin catches the eyes of Yamaguchi, worry and curiosity glazing over his eyes. He too walks away soon enough.

He makes sure all boys are out of sight and flips the sign before turning to the remaining one in his shop.

Keishin honestly doesn't know how he didn't notice the signs before. The boy has it written all over him.

From the shaking in his hands to the bouncing of his foot, to the constant looking around, and scratching of his head.

Keishin should've seen it.

But maybe he didn't want to.

Didn't want to admit that there was something wrong. Or that he was failing his student.

Keishin sighs once more before going behind the counter creating space for the boy to breathe and grabbing the bento box from under the counter. He places the tupperware on the surface and pushes it closer to the boy.

"Open it." Keishin tells him.

A simple saying. A simple command but it feels heavy on his tongue.

The teen steps forward and gently opens the box and looks inside before freezing. His whole body stops for a second before his wide eyes drift upwards and meet his own. His breathing is unsteady, and Keishin can practically hear his beast pounding inside his chest.

"C-coach." Sawamura was barely able to get out what he was saying, his mouth dry in fear.

"You're not in trouble so far, but I'm going to need you to explain." He says calmly.

"I-i was just holding onto them for a friend. They're not kine." The teen tried to defend himself.

"Right, I've both heard and said that one way too many times before to know that's not true. Go ahead and try to make another excuse. But don't say that it was your first time, we both know that's untrue, and don't even think about running. You walk out that door and it will be Takeda talking to you at school tomorrow." Keishin says. It's harsh but he needs to get through to Sawamura.

Sawamura looks around, possibly for any other way out of this discussion. He eventually gives up and looks at his feet with a sigh.

"You know . . . My dad isn't around anymore, right?" He quietly asks.

That question takes Keishin aback. He wasn't prepared for that to be thrown out of the teenager's mouth.

"No, I didn't know that."

"Well after my two youngest siblings, twins, were born He just kinda stayed for a couple of months and then left. We literally woke up one morning and he was gone. Like he never existed in the first place." Sawamura said, picking at his fingernails to avoid looking at Keishin.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, my mom and I had a feeling. I'm the oldest of five and even I could tell he wasn't gonna stick around any longer. He had me with my mom when they just graduated high school. She never went to college but she was able to get a job. And they were fine for about ten years. Then she got pregnant with my oldest-younger sister, then a year later my oldest brother. Then a few years later she got pregnant with twins, a boy, and a girl." He talks and ruffles his hair, keeping his hands busy.

"At that point, I could see stress getting to both of them. I had to take over as sort of a third parent. Had to make sure the younger ones ate, did their homework, and didn't see them fight when they did. And then he left and I just . . . Just got tired I guess. I didn't know how to relieve stress, I searched up some ways and I read about smoking to take the edge off." His eyes began to look glassy with tears.

Keishin wants to just go over the counter and hug the boy, but he knows he needs some space while explaining himself.

"So I went to the store, got a pack of the cheapest cigarettes I could find and a lighter. I took a long walk around the park after putting my sibling to sleep. With no one to see me I just kind of did it. And it worked. It was only one day a week, then the team started getting a bit more hectic, and I practically became a dad everywhere. Both at home and to the team, I kinda lost it when they came up with the nickname. And soon I was doing it once a week, it turned into twice a week, then every other day, then once a day, and . . . Yeah. I smoke about once a day. I go to school, go to practice, get home, do my homework, take care of my siblings and then take a walk after helping my mom." Sawamura's voice is heavy as he explains. Tears are already streaming down his face and his breath is a bit uneven.

Keishin doesn't care at this point. He goes around the count and pulls the boy into his arms. Patting his back as the teen grips his tracksuit.

"Let it out kid." He says.

He can hear the boy mumble, continuing to explain some random things, but he can’t hear it very well. Not that he’d ever tell him that, he needs to get this off his chest. He holds onto the team's captain for a bit longer before the teen is just reduced to sniffles and not sobs.

Keishin pulls back from the hug and prints out a napkin from his pocket. Doing what his mom did for him as a kid, because that's what Sawamura is, a kid, he cleans the younger boy's face for him. When he's done dried tear-stain tracks are all that's left with his red face.

"Are you ok now?" Keishin asks and he gets a nod in response.

"Ok, can I ask, when did you start?" Keishin honestly didn't want to know but he had to in order to help.

"Um, I guess maybe about two months after he left, or around when the school year started. So for a couple of months, I don't really know how long though." Sawamjras voice is groggy from dehydration.

"Ok, that's not bad, it'll be easy to get clean. We just need to make sure that you're willing to do it." Keishin says, looking into the boy's eyes.

"Yes, I want to do it."

"Ok, so here's what's going to happen. You're going to give me your lighter, and I'll throw the box of cigarettes out. I'm going to call the neighborhood association and tell them to call around to other convenience stores and tell them to jot sell you any more. And just to show you that you are not alone, I'll do this with you." Keishin says, placing a hand on Sawamura's shoulders.

"Ok." Sawamura whispers.

"You'll get through this, I promise. And if you want, I'll talk to the team about the nickname for you. Ask them to make up another one." Keishin says in a joking manner.

Sawamura huffy out a chuckle and says "ok"

"Um, can I ask, how did you get cigarettes?" Sawamura asks.

"I had some help from a certain freckled first year. Try not to get mad at him, I told him why it was and that I wanted to help you. I made him promise not to tell anyone else or else he gets double the drills and doesn't play the next match." Keishin explains.

"You didn't need to threaten him, coach!" Sawamura shouts in surprise.

"Well, I know how it feels to have someone find out about it, and I wanted you to be able to tell the others when you're ready. But there's no pressure to, ok? Ok." Keishin says and claps.

"Now, I'm not exactly an expert, but I did read that chewing gum helps you take your mind off of wanting a smoke. So, take this one, on the house, and in about two weeks, when the nicotine is out of your system we'll see how you feel then." Keishin says and hands him the pack of gum.

"Also, my advice, bring extra water tomorrow. The withdrawal from not smoking is torturous, and you'll get dehydrated easily. I wouldn't recommend taking any painkillers, but if the headache gets too bad to even stand, let me know and I'll take you home."

“Thank you, coach.” The boy says, shoulders slumping, letting his stress out.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, I get it, being stressed and wanting to feel related. But there are other ways, like resting when you need to, taking more breaks. Things like that. And it’s a good thing we caught it this early, when we get it out of your system sooner the withdrawal symptoms aren't bad. Trust me, you don’t want to have been smoking for three years and then suddenly quit.” Keishin explains and runs a hand through his hair.

“How’d that feel?”

“Like I was taking an involuntary boiling bath at a hot spring. I was so dizzy for like a week. I tried to quit after my grandad found out, but I couldn’t do it. So, I’m doing this with you, to be a bit selfish and help myself. Ok?” Keishin asks.

“Right.”

“Ok, tomorrow, at practice, I’ll give you a patch to help and take off the stress as well as some painkillers. I would rather have you take painkillers and no patch but if you need both let me know. And I think you should have a talk with Takeda tomorrow.” Keishin says.

“Ugh. I really don’t want to, but fine.”

Keishin laughs at the boy's misfortune.

“Okay, go on and get home, and tell your mom when you’re feeling stressed, she shouldn’t be making you a parent to four other kids, especially when you are still a kid yourself. And I get wanting to help, but you need to take breaks.”

“Right.”

“Ok, stay safe, and please tet in that group chat of yours when you’re home.” Keishin says. And once again, watches as the boy makes his way down the road, and when he’s out of sight Keishin does his same lock-up routine.

—

The next week is as Keishin expects. Sawamura is out of it, from what he can tell. He’s looking around more often, his pointer and middle finger are touching together more often, and he’s jumpier around the others.

When he passed by the three-third years a while ago he could faintly hear Sugawara ask if Sawamura was ok. To which the boy said he was fine and was just tired.

‘Right’ Keishin grins to himself, reminiscing of the times he used to say that when he couldn’t buy a pack of cigarettes for a while.

He had seen Sawamura talk with Yamaguchi a while ago and while he’s not too sure if the younger told his taller friend or not, the blond hasn’t said anything about it.

Looking in the rearview mirror of the bus as the scenery of the country slowly changes into the city. Keishin can see all the boys and the two managers. Some are napping, others messing around, but Sawamura is watching a movie with Sugawara, not fidgeting like he was earlier. He was calm. He may not be fully clean, but he’ll be okay enough to get through the tournament, and when they come back they’ll work harder.

Keishin looks at the road and then glances back into the mirror. His eyes locking in with Sawamura’s a short nod goes both ways.

He’s ok.