Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Jesus Christ."

Benny smiled grimly up at his friend before downing his third shot of whiskey.  His cheeks were pleasantly warm, the alcohol finally making its way through his system. He slammed his glass down onto the gnarled wooden counter and let out a sigh of relief.    

"You can say that again,” he mumbled.

Across from him, Dean's jaw dropped.  He gripped onto the edge of the bar, knuckles turning white.   

"You catchin’ flies?” Benny teased.

Dean's cheeks flushed and he quickly closed his mouth. His brain was still trying to make sense of what Benny had just told him.  “You’re not fucking with me, are you?” he asked.

Benny chuckled dryly and shook his head. “Nope.  It’s all gone.  The whole thing.  Burned to the ground,” he said softly. He curled his fingers around the shot glass to keep his hand from shaking.  His heart was thumping uncomfortably in his chest.  It was bordering on painful, as though it were trying to claw its way out, no longer wanting to be a part of him. “Another shot, bartender, how about some tequila this time, eh?”   

Dean glared at him but turned around to pick a bottle of tequila from the shelf behind him.  He remained silent as he poured the alcohol into Benny's glass before pulling one out for himself as well. 

Benny watched as Dean licked a spot on his hand before sprinkling some salt onto his sticky skin.  He did the same.  “Here’s to Laffite’s! She served me well,” Benny said.  He grimaced as the tequila hit his tongue, he never did like the taste but it always got the job done. A wedge of lime quickly followed, and soon enough, Benny found himself chuckling softly.  “I should just…quit while I’m ahead. Sell the land and…do something else with my time.  Maybe they’ll open a Starbucks there.”

“Fuck that,” Dean spat.  “You worked so hard to open that bakery.  You can’t just give up now.”

Benny dipped his finger in a little pool of salt that had accumulated on the bar.  “Why not? I break everything I touch,” he said with a little shrug of his shoulders.

“That’s not true,” Dean said softly.  "What did the insurance people say?" he asked as he began to clear the shot glasses and used lime wedges away.

"I have to wait for the reports from the police and the fire department, but, I don't think it'll cover much. I mean…I don't think it'll be enough to get everything up and running like before."

"So start small, and then build from there," Dean said softly.  He reached under the counter and procured a rag with which he began to wipe down the dark surface.   

Benny watched as Dean wiped the little grains of salt away. Some of them were still stuck to the pad of his thumb.  "I'm tired of starting over, Dean."

Dean lowered his gaze and continued to wipe down the bar. Benny had worked his ass off to save money to open up his bakery, and to have it all taken away from him in such a cruel way, well, it was too much for him to handle.  "I have some money saved up.  I could lend it to you, until you got back on your feet," he said.  He pointedly avoided making eye contact with Benny because he knew exactly what was coming next. 

Benny made a face.  “I couldn’t do that to you, Dean.  No.” 

“Come on, Benny.  Let me help you,” Dean pleaded.   “You’re my best friend.  You need the money. Take it,” he said. 

“Yeah, and then what’ll happen to the little house you’ve been eyeing?  You saved that money for yourself, Dean.  I don’t want it.”   

“Fuck the house.  My apartment is just fine.”

Benny smirked.  “Yeah.  How many times you wake up at night because of the trains again?”

Dean rolled his eyes and sighed. 

Benny smiled - a soft, bittersweet smile that didn't quite reach the corners of his eyes.  "I appreciate the offer, I really do, but…I'm gonna have to say no." He reached into his pocket and fished for his wallet.

Dean shook his head.  There was no getting through to Benny.  Once he made up his mind, he was as stubborn as a bull. "Forget about the drinks, they're on the house,” Dean said with a wave of his hand.  

Benny closed his wallet and drummed his fingers on the countertop.  "I should go."

"Want me to come over later? I could bring some pizza and beer and we can watch some trashy movies or something. Pirates of the Caribbean marathon?" Dean asked with a hopeful smile.

Benny shook his head and slid off the barstool. He took a moment to put on his hat and he smiled.  “I think I need some time alone, brother.”

“Benny, I’m sorry, man,” Dean said quietly.

Benny rapped his knuckles on the counter and winked. “I know.  I’ll see you later,” he said before walking away.

Dean watched regretfully as his friend walked out of the bar.  It was only after the little bell on the door tinkled, did Dean realize that Benny had left a twenty dollar bill on the counter.  "Son of a bitch," he muttered. 

He snatched it up and stuffed it into the tip jar.

~

Benny’s eyes opened at 4:30 am on the dot like clockwork.   

He had already started mentally planning his day. He would start off at the bakery with a batch of fresh bread, something with nuts and grains, and he would make onion bagels, yes, he hadn’t made those in a while.  And maybe some beignets for Dean, drowned in powered sugar, just the way he liked them.   

Excited, he threw off the blankets and swung his legs over the side of the bed.  It was only when his feet touched the cold ground did he realize that there wasno bakery to go to. And he stopped. The familiar feeling of dread settled around him once more and he remained sitting at the edge of his bed, head hung over, staring at the ground.  It had been a few days already, yet still, every morning had been like this, painful, and slow.  He shrunk back into the bed and pulled the covers up to his neck. 

It didn’t take him long to fall back asleep.

~

Dean killed the engine of his Impala and listened as the car settled around him. 

Next to him on the passenger seat was a large, white pizza box, and a six pack of Yuengling, Benny’s favorite beer.  He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel for a moment before glancing over at Benny’s little house.  It was sandwiched neatly between two larger ones, with a tall tree in the front yard swaying lightly in the breeze.

It had been two days since Dean had seen Benny, and he figured that two days was a long enough time for his friend to be alone with his own thoughts.  But now, it was time to step in and make sure that Benny was alright.  He knew how easy it was to fall into a downward spiral, to let the sad thoughts wrap themselves around you.  Sadness could be addictive and he knew that better than anyone else. 

The sun was setting, and the sky was slowly changing from a bright blue to a dusty indigo.  It was a little chilly, and he pulled his jacket closer as he made his way up the three little steps onto the porch.  He rang the bell and sat down on an old wicker chair to wait for Benny to open the door. 

“Dean?” Benny stepped out on the porch and squinted at him.

"I come bearing gifts," Dean said as he stood up. He lifted the pizza box up to Benny's face and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“What are you doing here?” Benny asked, not bothering to hide his exhaustion.  He folded his arms across his chest and cocked an eyebrow. 

Dean made a face and gestured to the box of pizza. “I brought you dinner you ungrateful punk.  And beer.”

“Dean, I don’t need you to—”

Dean shook his head.  “Uh-uh.  Have you eaten today?  Actually, did you even shower?  Check your mail?” He pushed the pizza toward Benny’s chest and nudged him inside.  “Come on, move it bozo,” Dean grumbled.  

Benny sighed loudly but stepped back, allowing Dean to come inside.  He took the pizza and the beer so Dean could unlace and kick off his boots. 

“You want me to make you some dinner?” Dean asked as he put his boots on the shoe stand. 

Benny shook his head and lumbered inside. “Nah, pizza is fine.” He placed the box down on the coffee table and set the six pack next to it before settling into the couch once more.  He was wearing a brown robe and there were dark circles under his eyes. 

Dean sat down on the recliner and yawned as he began to sift through Benny’s mail.  “Eat,” he commanded. 

Benny muttered something below his breath but he opened up the pizza box, unable to hide his hunger.  His stomach gurgled loudly as he took a bite of the first slice and he glanced over at Dean who was still sorting through the mail.

“It’s mostly crap.  Except for your cable bill, and this looks pretty important,” Dean said. He waved a cream colored envelope at him.  “Want me to open it?”

Benny shrugged.  “Sure.”

Dean shot him a withering look before running his fingers along the writing on the front.  It was done in a steady, elegant hand.  On the back, there was a little fancy looking seal.  Dean managed to open the envelope with minimal tearing and he extracted a folded piece of paper, a letter.  It was just like the envelope, cream colored and a little thicker than regular paper. He unfolded it and began to read what was written on the page. 

Benny had cracked open a beer and was thirstily gulping it down when he realized that Dean was looking at him, a curious expression on his face.  “What is it?” he asked.

Dean’s eyes flitted down to the paper in front of him and then he held it out to him.  “It’s your great aunt.  The one down in Louisiana.  She died.”       

~

According to the letter, Benny’s great aunt, Bunny LaCroix, had recently passed away due to “natural causes”, though, Benny knew that his Aunt Bunny was a raging alcoholic and this, most likely, had been the cause of her untimely demise. 

“You okay?” Dean asked.  He had moved from the recliner to hover anxiously next to him while he read the letter. 

Benny sighed and shrugged.  “I was never close to her.”

Dean licked his lips and glanced at the letter. “So…how do you feel about what it says at the bottom?”

Benny snorted and placed the paper on top of the pizza box. “The inheritance? No thanks.”

Dean huffed incredulously.  “Are you kidding me? Benny, that’s a fifty thousand dollar inheritance.  It’s more than enough to get you back on your feet! You could rebuild the bakery, hell, you could make it bigger if you wanted to! Come on!”

Benny felt little brushes of anger paint his insides. Did Dean think this was easy for him?  He didn’t want to see his shitty family, nor did he want their help.  He could already see all of the pitiful looks he would get when they heard what happened to him, little Benjamin, always stirring up some kind of trouble, he ain’t no good, just like his momma. He curled his hand into a fist. “I don’t want their money, Dean. Plus, where the hell am I supposed to find a spouse?  Or did you miss the little stipulation that I have to be married in order to get these funds?” Benny spat angrily. 

Dean blinked.  He wasn’t used to this type of aggression from Benny.  “I’m sorry, I just thought—”

“Well you thought wrong.  I lost the thing that means more to me than anything else in the world.  How do you think I feel?”  He reached for another beer and unscrewed the cap.  He tossed it onto the coffee table as he walked out of the living room. The little metal disk bounced onto the floor and fell silent.

Dean let out a breath of air he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. 

He glanced at the TV screen where a football game had been playing on mute.  One of the teams scored a touchdown and the crowd erupted into silent cheers.

~

Benny felt like shit for yelling at Dean.

He didn’t mean to, but there was so much anger inside of him, so much hurt and pain that had been directed at nothing but himself for the past two days.  He knew Dean wouldn’t hold it against him but it didn’t stop him from feeling like the worst friend in the world.  He took a measured sip of his beer and closed his eyes.   

He was finished with his beer by the time Dean had found himself outside.  He sat down on the other wicker chair and stared out at the empty street. 

“Dean, I’m sorry,” Benny said softly. 

Dean waved him away.  “No.  Don’t apologize. I’m an idiot,” Dean said with a little smile. 

“It’s just been a lot for me to deal with. Everything I worked for…gone just like that.”

Dean wrung his hands together.  “Isn’t there something else you could do? Loans? Or maybe a Kick Starter or something?” he asked. 

Benny shook his head.  “I thought about loans but, I don’t want to be in debt for the rest of my life.  And a Kick Starter…well, I might be able to raise some of the money but…I don’t know, Dean.  Maybe it’s a sign.  Maybe I should just give up.”

“No, no, you can’t just give up.  I won’t let you.  Look I’ve seen firsthand how hard you’ve worked for this. You did it once, and you can do it again.”

Benny scoffed.  “I’m tired of starting over, brother.  I really am.”

“So take the money.  Take the inheritance.  Fuck whatever they did to you.  It’s your money, Benny.  Take it and do something good with it,” Dean implored.

The money was like a blessing.  A fucked up blessing, but a blessing nonetheless. Still, the more he thought about it, the better it sounded.  He could use the money to rebuild, and Dean was right, he could build something a little bigger than before, or spend money on better equipment. There was the little issue of him being married but, that was something that could easily be solved, right? “Alright, say I do decide to accept the inheritance.  Where am I finding a wife?  I mean, I would need someone I could trust.  Someone who won’t try to steal my money from me once it’s all said and done.”

Dean hummed and stroked his chin.  He was mentally flipping through all of their mutual female friends, wondering if any of them would be interested. “You’d need someone who knows you too.  It’s gotta look real otherwise what’s the point.”  Dean scrunched up his face.  As he went down his list of requirements, it hit him that there was one person who kept coming up who fit the bill.  They needed someone trustworthy, someone who knew Benny, someone who wouldn’t turn around and take Benny’s money, and most importantly, someone who Benny would feel comfortable with. The answer was so obvious, it had been staring at him in the face the entire time. 

“Benny, I’ve got it,” he said. 

Benny turned to him, his brows raised.  “You found me a wife?”

Dean grinned.  “Even better.  I’ve found you a husband.”

~

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Benny grumbled.

Next to him Dean snickered and shrugged as he skillfully maneuvered the car into a parking space.  One of their good friends, Charlie, sat in the backseat, her eyes flicking back and forth between the two of them. 

Dean cut the ignition and looked over at Benny. “Look, we’ve already been through all of this, Benny.  It’s the best thing.  And it’ll be over before you even know it.”

Benny frowned.  He still wasn’t fully convinced that this was a good idea. Dean had offered to be the one to marry him, after all, it was perfectly legal for Benny to marry a man, and nowhere on the letter had stated that he needed to have a wife.  In Benny’s mind, he couldn’t think of a more perfect candidate, Dean knew him best, and Benny knew he could trust him at the end of the day to do the right thing.  Still, he couldn’t help but wonder if this was all a waste of time.

“You guys have everything you need?” Charlie asked.

Dean nodded and picked up a manila folder that had been sitting on the dashboard.  “Yep. All of the paperwork is in here.”

Benny chewed anxiously on his lower lip. “Dean…” his voice trailed off and he glanced over at his friend. 

“I’ll meet you boys inside,” Charlie said quickly. She flashed Dean a sympathetic smile and made her way out of the car.  

Benny waited until Charlie was safely across the street, making her way up the courthouse steps.  “You don’t have to do this.”

Dean sighed and leaned forward.  He stared out the window and watched people go by. There was a woman pushing a stroller with one hand, and sending a text message with another. He spotted a couple holding hands, walking slowly.  They were both smiling.  “Why do you want to give up?” he asked softly.

Benny sucked in a breath and shrugged.  “Cause’ it’s easy,” he replied.  He blinked and his eyes burned.  He swallowed thickly against a knot forming in his throat. 

“Hey, look at me.”

Benny shook his head and turned away from Dean. “No.  I can’t let you see me like this,” he said with a little chuckle. 

Dean scoffed at him.  “Like what?  Human? Vulnerable?  Benny, come on. How many times have you seen me cry?  Dude you’re my best friend.  It’s okay, really.”

Slowly, Benny turned back towards Dean.  He felt stupid, letting Dean see him like this, his eyes swimming with tears. 

“Look, I know this has been hard, I know that. But I wanna help you, and this is the only way I can do it.  If it means sucking up to your lame relatives for a day, then I can handle it, and you can too.  You’re gonna walk away from this fifty thousand dollars richer.  It’s no skin off my back, Benny.  You know that.”

“And what do you get?” Benny asked. 

Dean grinned at him and shrugged.  “I get a sweet ass husband for a little while. And I know this sounds corny as hell but…I get to see you happy.” 

Benny smiled through his tears.  “I bet you think I’m an idiot,” he said as he wiped his eyes. 

“A cute idiot,” Dean teased.  He reached out and placed a hand on Benny’s shoulder before squeezing it lightly.  “Come on, let’s go get married.”

“This means a lot to me, Dean,” Benny said softly.

Dean’s cheeks flushed, but he waved his friend away. “Aw, come on, you’re not gonna cry when we exchange rings, are you?”

Benny laughed and shook his head.  “Alright, alright, let’s go.”

~

“So, when are you gonna tell him that you’re in love with him?” Charlie asked quietly. 

Dean froze.  “I’m not in love with anyone.”

Charlie snorted.  “Tell me, when was the last time you got on a plane, Dean?” she asked. 

Dean took a swig of his beer and made a face. “A long time ago.” They were catching a red eye to Louisiana and would be heading out in a couple of hours.  Dean could already feel butterflies in his stomach. He placed his bottle down on top of the dresser before pulling out a pair of jeans from the bottom drawer. He busied himself with folding the jeans and then placing it into his duffle bag.  

“You hate planes,” Charlie said, folding her arms across her chest.  “Just admit it.”

“Admit that I hate planes?  Gladly!” Dean said with a wide grin. 

“No, you asshole.  Admit that you like Benny! Come on, I’ve known you for way too long.  I see the way you look at him.  You’re so over the moon for him, and I don’t blame you.”

Dean sighed and reached for his beer. 

“Plus, you already kinda confessed to me last month when you got drunk at Gabriel’s party,” she said with a sheepish grin.

Dean coughed and turned to face her.  “What?”   

“You said that the reason why you weren’t really looking for anything was because you liked someone.  And then…it just kinda…came out of your mouth.”

Dean scrubbed a hand across his face.  “What the fuck.”

“So how does it feel to be married to the love of your life?” she asked. 

Dean glanced down at the gold band on his finger. He flexed his hand and marveled at the weight of the ring.  It was so…heavy, yet, it was nice, reassuring.  When Benny had slipped the ring onto his finger, his hand had trembled. He hoped Benny didn’t notice, but knowing his friend, he probably did.  Subsequently, the drive back from the courthouse had been strange. Benny had lapsed into a moody silence and Dean had shared worried glances with Charlie in the rearview mirror, all the way home. 

“Weird, I guess,” Dean said with a little shrug. He sat down on the bed next to Charlie and looked down at the floor. 

“So you’re just gonna be okay with…pretending to be his husband for a weekend?  Do you know how fucked that is?”

“I know that, you don’t think I know that?” Dean snapped. “I just couldn’t bear to see him so broken up over the bakery, you know?  He doesn’t deserve that.”

Charlie sighed and scooted closer to him. “I know, it’s just…I don’t want you to get hurt.  It sounds great on paper, but, what happens when you’re actually out there? When you have to hold his hand and…kiss him?  What happens when it all ends?  And it’s time for you to come back home?”

Dean felt that familiar fluttering sensation ripple through him.  The truth was, he didn’t know what was going to happen.  He didn’t know how he would deal with pretending to be Benny’s husband, or what he would do when it was all over. 

All he could do was hope for the best, and pray that he wasn’t making a huge mistake. 

Chapter Text

Dean fidgeted in his seat and bit down on his bottom lip.

They had just boarded the plane and Benny had left him to go use the bathroom.  His eyes kept drifting over to the little oval shaped window, his heart in his throat. The last time he had been on a plane had been over three years ago when his younger brother, Sam, had slipped and broken his leg.  His brother lived out in California with his fiancé Jess.  Dean had decided that driving out there wasn’t an option, especially when his brother needed him.  He could still remember the panic cloying in his mouth and the way his stomach soured with every bump and jostle.  Lost in the unpleasant memories, he didn’t even notice that Benny had returned until he sat down next to him. 

“You alright, brother?” Benny asked as he fiddled with his seatbelt. 

Dean hummed.  “You sure we can’t drive?” he asked with a nervous chuckle.

Benny cocked an eyebrow and buckled his seatbelt. “Yes, I’m sure. It’s not too late to back out of this, Dean.  You say the word and we’ll get off this plane right now.”

Dean sighed and slumped back into the seat. “No.  I said I would do this and I’m gonna see it through.”

“We could switch seats if you want,” Benny offered with a little smile. 

Dean shrunk into his seat, slouching his shoulders. His heart was racing and his palms were cold and clammy.  He jumped when Benny lightly bumped his shoulder. 

“Hey,” he murmured. 

Dean glanced over at him, struggling to pull in a full breath.  “Benny, I can’t breathe.”

Benny reached for Dean’s hand and quickly entwined their fingers.  “Take a deep breath, Dean.  Nice and slow. I’m right here,” he coached.

Dean squeezed down on Benny’s fingers and closed his eyes. He was a grown man, he should be able to handle this.  He focused on Benny’s voice, on the sturdiness of his hand. 

“Come on, brother.  I got you, deep breaths,” Benny whispered softly.  He observed Dean as he tried to breathe, he could see a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead.  This was wrong, he shouldn’t be putting Dean through this, and for what? “Dean, let’s go. Come on.”

Dean’s eyes popped open and he frowned.  “What? No.  No, Benny.  I’m already here. I just need to calm down, okay? I’ll be fine.” He closed his eyes once more and settled back into his seat.  His heart was still pounding but he could feel it slowing down. Benny still held on tightly to his hand and he shifted closer to him, their thighs touching. 

“You want me to get you a drink?” Benny asked.

Dean chuckled dryly and shook his head.  “No, I popped a sleeping pill about thirty minutes ago so it should be kicking in soon,” he said with a wide yawn.  Humming softly, Dean felt his head slowly begin to droop to the side. 

“Use my shoulder, Dean, you’re gonna hurt your neck like that,” Benny scolded. 

Dean opened his eyes and blinked.  “Huh?”

“My shoulder.  Put your head on my shoulder,” Benny said. 

Dean yawned again and nodded tiredly.  “Oh, okay,” he mumbled.  He rested his head on Benny’s shoulder and closed his eyes. 

Benny smiled softly as Dean drifted away and he settled himself in for the flight. 

He held on to Dean’s hand the entire way there.

~

“Well I feel like a giant idiot,” Dean groused as he buckled his seatbelt.  They were in their rental, a red Honda Fit, and Benny was behind the driver’s wheel.

“Why do you feel like an idiot?” Benny asked as he adjusted the rearview mirror.  He leaned forward and turned on the radio, flipping through the stations quickly.

Dean yawned and rubbed his eyes.  “Because taking that sleeping pill was the best decision I’ve ever made.” 

Benny eventually settled on a mellow country song, soft guitars and light percussion. 

“Country?” Dean asked with a grin. 

Benny chuckled and shrugged.  “I’m home, Dean.” He turned up the volume and put the car in drive. 

Within minutes, they were out on the highway. It was dark out, and Dean rolled his window down, smiling as the cool air hit his face. 

Benny rolled his window down as well.  He could smell the lingering scent of rain and he smiled.  It felt good to be home. 

“Who is this?” Dean asked gesturing toward the radio.

“Kenny Chesney,” Benny replied with a little smile. “Why? You like it?”

Dean made a face.  “What? No way.” 

Benny laughed and shook his head.  A part of him couldn’t believe he was back in Louisiana, that he was back home. He wasn’t exactly thrilled about having to see his shitty family for the first time in years, but a strange calm had settled over him on the plane, and he was ready to deal with whatever they threw his way.  Plus, he had Dean by his side, his best friend and number one supporter.  What more could he possibly need? 

“Hey, um, thanks for what you did back there on the plane,” Dean said quietly. 

Benny glanced over at him for a moment before turning his gaze back to the road.  “For doing what?”

“You’re gonna make me spell it out?”

Benny snickered.  “Tell me.”

Dean cleared his throat and sighed dramatically. “For…calming me down. You didn’t have to…”

Benny waved him away.  “Oh, come on.”

“No, I’m being serious, dude.  Being on planes freak me the fuck out and having you there was…a really big help.”

Benny drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and remained quiet for a few moments.  “I thought it was the pills that helped you,” he said. 

Dean reached over and punched him lightly on the shoulder. “Learn how to take a compliment, asshole,” he grumbled. 

Benny laughed and continued to drive.

~

Benny checked them into their hotel room while Dean sat dozing off on a couch in the lobby.  He glanced behind him and chuckled softly as Dean’s head drooped forward, his chin hitting his chest. 

“Someone’s tired,” the lady behind the counter said with a little smile. 

Benny smiled.  “Yeah, we took the red eye, and he don’t like planes.” 

“Oh, my husband is the same way.  It’s a pain getting him to go anywhere that he can’t drive to,” she said with a sympathetic smile. 

“Oh he’s not my…” Benny’s voice trailed off when he realized what he was about to say. 

“Sorry?”

Benny flashed her a charming smile and shook his head. “He’s not such a pain in the butt, is what I meant,” he said quickly. 

The woman squinted at him and simply smiled in return. “Alright, well, you boys are on the eighth floor, room 801.”  She slid a couple key cards over along with a couple brochures. “If you need anything, just dial one on the room phone.” 

“Much obliged, have a good one,” Benny said as he picked up the room keys.  Hoisting his bag on his shoulder, he walked over to Dean who was effectively drooling on himself at this point.  “Come on, brother, time to go,” he rumbled. 

Dean groaned and made a face.  “No.  Don’t wanna go.  Wanna sleep here.”

Benny smiled and reached for Dean’s hand. “Come on, sugar, let’s go,” he said. 

If the term of endearment confused him, Dean didn’t show it. He allowed Benny to drag him over to the elevator and they rode it up to the eight floor in silence.

As soon as they got into the room, Dean collapsed on the bed, humming happily. 

“You should change, Dean,” Benny chided as he dropped his bag on the floor. 

“Don’t wanna,” Dean grumbled into his pillow. His voice was muffled and thick with sleep. 

“Don’t be a baby. I’m gonna take a shower,” Benny said with a little yawn. 

Dean rolled over onto his back and frowned. “Dude it’s like four in the morning.  Come to bed,” he teased as he patted the empty space next to him. 

“Take those clothes off, Dean, or I will take them off for you!” Benny said as he walked into the bathroom. 

“Kinky!” Dean yelled back with a little laugh. With a reluctant sigh he slid off the bed and began to take off his clothes.  As he unbuttoned his jeans, his sleep addled brain conjured the image of Benny taking them off for him instead.  He imagined what it would feel like if Benny placed his hands on his hips, squeezing down on them lightly before leaning in for a kiss. He opened his eyes and suppressed a shudder.   

In the back of his mind, he could hear Charlie’s disapproving voice saying I told you so, over and over and over.  “I am so fucked,” he muttered. 

He balled his hands into fists to keep them from shaking.   

~

Benny stood beneath the shower, thankful for the hot spray, easing all of his aches and pains.  He gingerly massaged his lower back, wincing slightly as he squeezed down on a particularly sore muscle. 

Truth be told, he hated flying too, just not as much as Dean did.  He didn’t like being cooped up in such a small space for so long.  It made him antsy and he got bored, but he had forced himself to put on a good face for Dean to make the trip easier for him. 

Speaking of Dean, he was still confused by his own little slip of tongue downstairs in the lobby.  He had never called Dean sugar before, but it had just come out of his mouth as though it were the most natural thing in the world.  Maybe he was just getting too deep into character, being Dean’s husband and all. Even that felt a little unreal. He flexed his hand and looked at the ring sitting heavily on his finger.  Dean was just helping him and nothing more. 

He couldn’t wait to hear what his family would say when they met him.  With a weary sigh he reached for the bar of soap and began to work it into a thick lather. He would deal with those issues later, right now, all he wanted to do was get out of the shower as fast as he could and get some sleep.

~

Benny walked out of the bathroom with his towel slung around his neck and a pair of old sweats sitting low on his hips. The scent of the hotel soap clung to his damp skin and he stifled a yawn as he padded over to the bed. Dean was already wrapped up under the blanket, snoring softly, his lips parted slightly.  Benny sat on the edge of the bed, smiling as Dean wrinkled his nose. 

Dean mumbled something below his breath and Benny frowned, leaning in to hear what his friend was saying. 

“Mom…wait,” Dean said softly.

Benny’s heart skipped a beat and he slowly got off the bed, taking a step back.  Dean’s mother, Mary, had passed away when he was young.  He didn’t talk about her often, but Benny knew that he had never really gotten over losing her so early in his life.  He suddenly felt overwhelmed, and a heavy weight pressed itself against his chest.  Dean looked so small, curled up under the blanket, his chest moving up and down slowly.  His eyelids fluttered and blinked open.  

“Benny?” Dean murmured with a little yawn.

Benny removed the towel from around his neck and smiled warmly. “Hey, Dean.”

“Why are you just standing there like a weirdo?” Dean mumbled.  His voice was scratchy and thick with sleep.  Dean was hovering in that delicate space between wakefulness and rest. His mind was foggy and the lines that he had so carefully drawn between him and Benny seemed to be crumbling like soft clay.  “Come to bed,” he said with a little smile.  His eyes closed once more and he snuggled into his pillows.    

Benny hung his towel on the back of a chair and flicked off the lamp on the way to the bed.  He crawled under the covers, wondering why they hadn’t asked for two separate beds instead of one, but he shrugged it off, Dean was his best friend and the world wouldn’t come to an end if they slept in the same bed. The room was quiet and the only sound he could hear was Dean’s steady breathing next to him. As he situated himself under the covers, Dean shifted closer to him until they were mere inches apart.

“You smell good,” Dean said. 

Benny smiled softly and closed his eyes. “Oh yeah?”

Dean chuckled.  “Yup.” The sheets rustled as he moved closer. 

As he began to drift away, he felt Dean pressed up against him, a heavy warmth at his side.  A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips when he realized that he didn’t mind.

Chapter Text

“So, I need to give you a refresher course on my family because you’re gonna need it,” Benny drawled as he reached for the salt shaker.

They were at a small diner eating breakfast. Dean was chewing listlessly on a piece of dry toast waiting for his pancakes while Benny began to cut into his omelet.

Dean groaned and leaned back with a tired nod. “Okay, hit me,” he said. The waitress came around with a plate stacked high with fluffy pancakes which put a smile on his face.

“Here you go sweetie, blueberry, enjoy,” she said with a grin. 

Benny watched in amusement as Dean rubbed his hands together eagerly before reaching for the maple syrup. 

“You want some?” Dean asked, gesturing with his fork.

Benny quickly shook his head and turned back to his own food.   “So, my family,” Benny began again. 

“They’re rich and stuck up, right?” Dean asked through a mouthful of pancake. 

“Well when you put it so nicely,” Benny said with a little smirk. 

Dean snorted and picked up his coffee cup. “What can I say, I have a way with words.”

Benny chewed on a piece of toast for a moment before going on.  “Well, there’s Aunt Bunny’s brother, Boris, and his wife, Celia.  We ain’t exactly…friendly, and I haven’t seen them in years. There’s my mom’s older sister, Emma, and her husband, Roy.  They have two daughters.”

Dean cocked an eyebrow.  “The twins?”

Benny nodded.  “Annabelle and Isabelle, but don’t let the sweet names fool you,” he said with a little huff.

Dean grinned but didn’t respond. 

“What?” Benny asked.

Dean looked up, their eyes locking for a moment. “What?”

“You were smiling,” Benny prodded.

Dean’s cheeks flushed and he quickly stuffed some more food into his mouth.  “No I wasn’t. You were smiling,” he retorted. 

“Your comebacks are so bad, it’s a shame,” Benny drawled with a little laugh. 

“They are not. I happen to be really good at them, okay?”

“Right, right.  Do I dare bring up the Vampirate incident?” Benny asked with a little twinkle in his eye.

Dean’s eyes widened and he squinted at him. “You wouldn’t dare. That was a long time ago, okay? Shut your trap.”

Benny lifted his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright,” he said with a laugh.  Benny picked up his fork and began to lightly scrape at his plate.  “There’s my aunt Helen and her husband Henry.  They have a son, Parker,” he said. 

“Okay.”

Benny fell silent and chewed on his bottom lip. There was one more thing he needed to tell Dean, something he had been hiding from him for a long time.

“Hey, you okay?” Dean asked. 

Benny looked up and shrugged.  “Dean there’s something I need to tell you,” he began quietly. 

“Let me guess, you’re a vampire?” Dean asked with a little snort. 

Benny smiled but he shook his head.  “No, I uh, there’s another family member of mine who might be there who I haven’t really…talked about, ever.”

Dean’s brows knitted together as he frowned. “Okay, who is it?”

Benny paused and then he sighed.  “I have a twin brother, his name is Eli.”

Dean coughed and reached for his coffee cup. “Ha, ha, funny joke.” He curled his fingers around the mug, warmth seeping into his fingers. 

Benny smiled grimly.  “Ain’t a joke, brother.  It’s very real,” he said softly.  He looked down, unable to look his friend in the eye after lying to him for so many years. 

“How come you never told me about him?”

Benny shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He took a moment to glance out the window, suddenly remembering so many summers spent sprawled off in the grass with that same sky above him.  It felt like a lifetime ago.  How many years had passed since then?  A heavy sadness pressed against him, solid like a wall, and a knot formed in his throat. 

“Benny?” Dean said softly.  He looked up at him, eyes searching Benny’s face.

“I’m sorry, Dean, I should have told you about him a long time ago.”         

“As your husband, I must say I am a little disappointed, but only a little,” Dean teased gently. 

“You ain’t mad?” Benny asked, surprised.

“Why would I be mad? That’s your personal shit, dude.”

“Yeah but, we’ve known each other for so long. It doesn’t bother you that I didn’t tell you about him?”

Dean shrugged.  “Does it bother you?”

“A little.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it,” Dean said with a little smile.  “You guys don’t talk?”

Benny smiled sadly and shook his head.  “No.” 

Dean, sensing that he wasn’t going to get any more information out of his friend, turned his attention back to his food. It was strange to think about the fact that there was another person walking around who looked just like Benny, someone with the same eyes and the same mouth.  He wondered if Eli smiled the same way Benny did, if he smelled the same way.  “Short for something?” he asked, unable to hide his curiosity.

“Elijah,” Benny said with a weary sigh.  He looked down at the food on his plate, his appetite gone. 

~

After breakfast, they climbed back into the car, Dean in the driver’s seat this time, wanting to drive around for a while. “What time do we have to be at the house?” Dean asked. 

Benny leaned in and turned on the radio. Immediately, a country song filled the empty space around them. 

“The reading of the will is at six, and then dinner, I guess,” he said with a shrug. 

“So we have some time to kill.  What do you want to do?” Dean asked, squinting in the sunlight streaming through the windshield.  He glanced over at Benny who was still quiet.

“We could go back to the hotel I guess.”

Dean frowned.  “Aw, come on.  There must be something else we could do out here…” he said, his voice trailing off.

Benny reached into his pocket and pulled out his bunch of keys. 

Dean glanced over, confused, as Benny flipped through the various keys sitting on the key chain.  “Found something?” he asked. 

Benny’s lips quirked up into a little smile and he nodded. He held up a lone silver key and grinned.  “The key to my mama’s old house.  I haven’t been there in years.” 

Dean’s brows rose.  “You wanna go there now?”

Benny nodded.  “I mean, if you don’t mind,” he said with a nonchalant shrug. 

Dean looked over at him and smiled.  “Are you kidding me? Hell yeah I’m down. I wanna see where you grew up!” he said excitedly.  He bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling too hard.  “Tell me which way to go,” he said.

Benny smiled, his first real smile since they had left the diner and he turned up the volume on the radio as a new song came on. “I like this one.”

“I wouldn’t have guessed,” Dean teased.  He squeezed his hands down on the steering wheel, doing his best to pay attention to Benny’s directions. 

On the radio, the man continued to sing his love song and Dean’s heart fluttered in his chest. 

~

Benny pushed in the gate and listened to the familiar screech of the metal hinges.  The front yard was clean and the smell of freshly mowed grass hung heavy in the air.

“The neighbor cleans up the yard for me, I send him money every month,” he explained as they walked up the small stone pathway, leading toward the porch.  

Dean followed him quietly, taking in their surroundings and observing the house looming ahead.  It was small, with a dainty little porch and a solid looking wooden door.  The outsides were painted in a cheery yellow with white trimmings.   Dean ran his hand along the banister as he walked up the creaky wooden steps.  “You know, I can’t really picture you here,” Dean said, with a little smile.

Benny chuckled as he fiddled with the key in the lock. “And why is that?”

Dean leaned up against the wall and shrugged. “It just seems so…small, and I’ve never seen any pictures of you as a kid.”

“I was short, and chubby,” Benny said with a laugh.

“Cute too, I bet,” Dean said as he followed Benny inside.

“Well naturally.”

The room was dark and Benny fumbled around, searching for the light switch.  A yellow bulb flickered weakly for a moment before filling the room with watery light. Several pieces of furniture were arranged neatly before them, all covered in thick sheets of plastic covered in dust. 

Dean made a face as he looked around.  “Dusty.”

“It’s been closed up for a few years.”

“Since your mom died?” Dean asked softly.

Benny turned around and nodded.  “Yeah, I…couldn’t bring myself to come back. I didn’t want to.”

“What made you change your mind?”

Benny looked around the room with memories of Sunday afternoon’s watching old movies with his mother and weeknights lying on his stomach next to his brother doing homework, flooding his mind.  “Well I have you with me,” he said with a gentle smile.

“What a sappy husband I have,” Dean teased. “Come on, show me your room,” he whined. 

“Alright, alright, come on, it’s this way.”

Dean grinned and followed him to a set of dusty looking steps that led up to the second floor. 

~

Being back in the old house didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would.  His room was just the way he had left it, wooden bunk bed in the far corner, a sturdy old dresser that he had shared with his brother Eli, a desk in the other corner that neither of them used, and a wooden chest filled to the brim with their old toys. Their mother had been meticulous about keeping their room the way it had always been.  She would even wash and change the sheets even though they were gone and didn’t live there anymore.  Whenever he came by to visit her, he would sleep on the bottom bunk, curled up like a little parentheses because it wasn’t long enough for him to stretch his legs out all the way. 

“You slept on this little thing?” Dean asked with a grin. He walked over to the bed and sat down on the wrinkly plastic. 

“I was much smaller, then,” Benny said with a little chuckle.  He walked over to the desk and pulled out the chair so he could sit down.  He was starting to feel it now, all of the memories rushing back so quickly, it was a little hard to breathe. 

“Hey, you okay?” Dean asked.

Benny heard the soft crinkling of the plastic again as Dean got up from the bed and walked over to him.  “I’m fine,” he lied. 

“If you need to leave, we can.  Let’s go outside,” Dean said quietly. He placed a hand on Benny’s shoulder and squeezed down on it reassuringly.

Without thinking too much, Benny reached up and patted Dean’s hand.  “Thanks, brother.”

The room fell silent and Dean walked over to the window. Looking outside, he could see the other houses.  He imagined Benny as a child here, growing up with his mother and brother, running around and laughing, so carefree.  “When you were a kid did you ever imagine your life would be like this?”

Benny chuckled.  “What? A burned down business and fake married to my best friend?” he retorted. 

Dean turned around, a frown on his face. “You say it like being married to me is a bad thing! Speaking of which, I’ve been meaning to ask you…” his voice trailed off and he looked down.  Charlie’s words had been bouncing around in his skull all day…what happens when you’re actually out there…when you have to hold his hand and kiss him.  “Well, I…I think eventually, at some point…we’re gonna have to…”

Benny looked at him expectantly.  “We’re gonna have to…?”

Dean sighed.  “To kiss, to hold hands, I don’t know. We’re gonna have to be an actual couple.  At least for a couple hours,” he said with a shrug. Now that it was out in the open, he felt a little less queasy, but when he looked up and saw the way Benny was looking at him, all of the butterflies that had left his stomach flew right back in. 

“You’re right,” Benny said eventually. 

“Wait, what?” Truth be told, Dean hadn’t expected Benny to agree with him so quickly. 

“You’re right, Dean.  Maybe we should do a practice run so we don’t end up kissing each other’s chins.”

Dean laughed and felt his cheeks growing hot as Benny got up from the chair and walked over to him.  The room suddenly felt ten times smaller, as his friend situated himself in front of him.  “My heart is pounding a little fast,” Dean said with a small smile.

Benny grinned.  “Mine too.  You sure you want to do this?”

Dean licked his lips and nodded, hoping he didn’t look too eager.  “Yeah, man, it’s all part of it, right?”

Benny nodded and took another step forward. “Yeah, it’s just…part of the game,” he murmured.  Benny gently cupped Dean’s face with his hands and brushed his thumbs along Dean’s cheekbones. He smiled when Dean closed his eyes, his breath hitching in his throat.  Slowly, he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against Dean’s mouth. A million things were running through his mind, the main thing being oh my God I’m kissing my best friend, followed by well shit, this is actually really nice.  Dean’s lips were soft and he tasted sweet, but most of all, Benny found himself enjoying the way Dean pressed into him, the urgency with which he kissed him back, and the soft little moan that he had made when their lips first touched. 

Dean, on the other hand, was effectively freaking out. Here he was, kissing the love of his life and it was all just pretend.  He found it hard to enjoy the moment because he knew it wasn’t real.  Charlie was right, this hurt like a mother fucker.  Except, when he felt Benny’s hands on his waist, when Benny gently pushed him back against the wall and kissed him even deeper, when Benny sensually nibbled on his bottom lip before kissing him again, he found himself becoming confused. This felt like more than just a practice run. 

It felt real.

When they finally pulled apart, the both of them remained quiet for a few moments.  Sunlight streamed through the window next to them and Dean observed some of the dust motes floating in the air. 

“Um, wow,” Dean said finally.  He reached up to absently scratch at a spot on his chin. 

They looked at each other then the both of them burst out laughing. 

“Wow is right,” Benny said.  He stepped back and moved over to the window.  He wasn’t sure what had just happened. The air in the room felt electric, something had changed. This wasn’t real, it wasn’t supposed to be real, so why did it feel like the kiss had actually meant something?  “So um, we seem to be pretty good at practicing,” Benny said. 

Dean rubbed the back of his neck and nodded, unable to look Benny in the eye.  “Yeah, we are,” he replied.  He found himself secretly hoping Benny would want to do it one more time, you know, for good luck, but as he observed Benny’s body language, he realized that his friend was slowly drifting away from him, and it didn’t look like a second kiss was happening. As much as he knew that this moment was coming, it didn’t stop it from hurting any less.  He felt cold and lonely and tired and he suddenly wanted to go home.  He wanted his bed and its familiar softness.  He wanted to be any place where Benny wasn’t. 

“Maybe we should head back to the hotel and start getting dressed,” Benny said.  He glanced around the room once more and began to walk toward the door. His heart was beating so fast, it was bordering on painful.  He needed to get out of the room or it would explode. 

“Yeah, we should do that,” Dean said quietly.

“You okay?” Benny asked.  He stood at the door, staring at Dean, not sure why he was feeling this way, a muddle of emotions, a yearning to kiss Dean again, fear, rising in his chest at what this meant, and weariness, that had settled deep into his bones. 

Dean smiled thinly and nodded.  “Yeah, man. I’m good,” he lied.  “Let’s go get ready,” he said with a wider smile that he hoped was convincing.  He followed Benny out of the room, his heart in his throat.  The ring on his finger no longer felt reassuring, instead, it was heavy and tight, much like the feeling in his chest. He wanted to take it off but he fought the urge, and stuck his hand into his pocket instead.   

As they made their way through the quiet house, Dean noticed that Benny had done the same.

Chapter Text

By the time Dean emerged from the shower, some of the awkwardness from earlier had melted away.  He found Benny sitting on the bed, reading a worn looking paperback.

“Whatcha reading?” he asked, doing his best to bring things back to normal. 

“The Vampire Armand,” Benny said with a little smile. 

Dean chuckled.  “Anne Rice?”

“The one and only.” 

The room lapsed into a strained silence once more and Dean ran his fingers through his wet hair.  They had about an hour before they needed to hit the road. Benny had already showered and was taking some time to relax and mentally prepare himself for dealing with his family for the first time in years. 

Dean glanced at his clothes that had been laid out on the bed, a simple pair of khakis, and a dark blue dress shirt.  He wasn’t ready to put them on so instead he sat at the desk facing the window, drumming his fingers lightly on the table.

“Should we talk about earlier?” Benny asked quietly.

Dean let out a breath of air he didn’t realize he had been holding in.  “Yes, please. Can we?” he asked, turning around. For the first time, he felt hopeful, and a little smile was brimming on his lips. 

Benny, however, was not looking at him.  He was still looking down at his book, though his eyes weren’t moving across the page.  While Dean had been in the shower, Benny had thought about their kiss and tried to work out what it really meant for him.  At the end of it all, he had ultimately decided that Dean was his best friend, and he wasn’t willing to trade his friendship with him, or ruin it, because of one kiss. Plus, Benny knew what happened to the things he got too close to, he ruined them, he messed them up, he burned them down. 

He cared too much about Dean to let that happen to him.

“I think we’ll be a pretty convincing couple,” Benny said with a wide smile. 

Dean blinked and then frowned.  A pretty convincing couple? Wait.  This wasn’t the conversation he had been hoping to have.  “Um, yeah, I guess so,” he said quickly.   

“I mean, all we have to do is plant one of those right in the middle of it all and no one will have anything to say.”

Dean felt his heart sink in his chest and he had to look away.  His eyes were stinging with unshed tears and he blinked rapidly to keep them from falling. “Yeah, you’re right. We’ll be…super convincing.” He heard the words leaving his mouth but he didn’t believe them.  They sounded hollow and false to his ears.  “I think I’m gonna go grab a coffee,” he said with a thin smile.

Benny watched as Dean picked up his cell phone and wallet before slipping on his shoes. 

“You need anything?” he asked as he made his way over to the door. 

Benny shook his head.  “Nah, I’m good.”  

“I’ll be back,” Dean said as he walked out of the room.

Benny waited for the door to close before getting off the bed and walking over to the window.  Somehow, with Dean gone, the room felt heavier than before. He hung his head in shame and balled his hands into fists. 

He was right, he broke everything he touched.

~

Dean made his way down to the lobby and ordered a coffee at the bar before sitting down on one of the plush couches in the lounge. He considered ordering something to eat, but he didn’t have much of an appetite, and so he decided against it. He pulled out his cell phone and searched for Victor’s number, his second in command at the bar, who was in charge while he was gone.  He suddenly found himself missing his bar, The Colt, and its yeasty smell of beer, the smooth, wooden countertops, and the gentle thrum of conversation in the background.  The bar was home, it was familiar and safe. He felt bad for wishing so badly to be back.    

“Well, well, well, if it ain’t Mr. Lafitte,” Victor said with a little snicker on the other end of the line. 

Dean rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless. Victor could always make him laugh, no matter how sad or mad he was.  “Shut up, asshole.  Please tell me you didn’t destroy my bar?”

Victor huffed.  “Your bar? Last time I checked, I had shares in it too.”

The waiter appeared with Dean’s coffee and placed it on the table before him with a smile. 

“Whatever, how are things though?”

“Same old.  Things are fine over here, Dean.  I did interview someone for the waitress position, chick named Ruby. She’s cute, but a little on the feisty side.”

Dean snorted and took a sip of his coffee. “Alright.  I’ll meet with her when I get back.”

There was a little pause, and Dean chewed on his bottom lip, wondering if he should tell Victor about what had happened between him and Benny. 

“So, how’s it going? You meet the family yet?”

“Nah, that’s happening tonight.”

“So, what are you calling me for?  Something must have happened,” Victor said in a knowing tone. 

Dean groaned and scrubbed a hand across his face. “We kissed.”

“Ohhh, shit, okay, okay, how was it?”

A little smile spread itself across Dean’s lips as he called the kiss up in his mind.  He could still feel Benny’s weight, pushing him against the wall. “Amazing, actually. But when we…when it was over, he got all weird on me.”

“Weird?  Like how?”

“Like he froze up, I dunno.  He just made it sound like it was all part of the game or whatever,” Dean said, trying not to sound too dejected. 

“Well, I guess it just means that he might not like you the way you like him, Dean,” Victor said gently. 

“I don’t know, Vic.  That kiss was definitely not a pretend kiss.  I would know.  He put his hands on my waist, man.  He freakin’ bit my bottom lip.  Who does that for a practice run?”

Victor chuckled.  “Boy, you really got it bad, huh.  Look, maybe he just needs some time to wrap his head around the whole thing, you know?  Yeah, he probably got spooked because it was so good. He wasn’t expecting that shit. Feelings like that could knock a grown man on his ass, Dean.  Just give him some time.”

Dean sighed and took another sip of his coffee. “You think so?”

“Yeah, just, take it easy, don’t freak out too much. Try to put yourself in his shoes and see how you would feel if you kissed you,” Victor suggested. 

“Put myself in his shoes…I guess I could try,” Dean said with a little shrug. 

“Aye man, he’d be lucky to have you, I know that for a fact,” Victor said quietly. 

Dean rolled his eyes but smiled.  “And that’s my cue to hang up now.”

“Whatever, asshole,” Victor quipped.

“Don’t burn down my bar!” Dean scolded. 

Victor laughed.  “Shut up and hurry home.  Jo is going crazy without you.”

“I can’t deal with him anymore, Dean!” Jo said in the background.

Dean laughed and his heart ached for home. “I’ll see you guys soon.”

“Good luck fool,” Victor said.

Dean smiled and chewed on his bottom lip. “Thanks, I’m gonna need it.”

~

By the time Dean got back to the room, Benny was already halfway dressed.  He was standing in front of the mirror, struggling with something on his sleeves.

“Damnit,” Benny muttered below his breath.

“Everything okay?” Dean asked as he closed the door.

Benny turned around, an unhappy expression on his face. “I can’t get these damned cufflinks on properly,” he said in an exasperated voice. 

Dean stared at him for a moment before chuckling and walking over to him.  “Here, let me do it.”  

Benny dutifully presented his wrist to Dean and observed as his friend adjusted the cuff before fixing the cufflink.  He was gentle, and took his time, his fingers brushing against Benny’s skin ever so slightly.  It caused a strange ripple of butterflies in his stomach and he bristled. 

“Aren’t you gonna be hot in this shit?” Dean asked as he motioned for the next hand. 

Benny wordlessly offered up his next wrist, fighting the urge to lean in and catch Dean’s lips in a kiss.  His mouth was moving but Benny wasn’t hearing a damned thing over the sound of his own pulse in his ears.  He imagined for a moment what it would be like, brushing Dean’s hands away, holding onto his hips, kissing him, feeling the solidity of his body pressed up against his own.  He struggled to suck in a breath and that’s when he noticed that Dean was frowning at him. 

“Dude, are you okay?”

“Yeah, thanks.  Hurry up and get dressed.  We need to leave soon,” he said quickly.  He walked away from Dean and back to the mirror where he adjusted his tie.

He hoped Dean didn’t notice that his hands were shaking.

~

The drive over to Benny’s aunt’s estate was long and quiet, and Dean spent most of the time staring out the window as the scenery passed them by. 

Benny had turned the radio on to fill the strange silence that was blooming between him and his friend.  Things had never felt so strained with Dean, and his heart ached with every beat.  He felt the need to apologize but he didn’t know what he would be apologizing for.

“You sure you still up to this?” Benny asked quietly as he turned onto a tree lined street. 

Dean glanced over at him and nodded.  “Of course.  We came all this way.  It would be stupid to give up now.” 

Benny pressed his lips into a thin line and didn’t respond. “I’m sorry,” he said eventually.

“For what?” Dean asked curiously.  He kept his gaze locked on the road in front of them, scared to look at his friend. 

Benny searched for an answer but realized that he didn’t know what to say.  “For dragging you into this mess,” he said quietly. 

Dean shook his head and chuckled softly. “It’s fine, Benny, seriously,” he said. 

Benny sighed softly and continued to drive. He wished he could believe him.  

~

Dean whistled below his breath as they walked through the little garden to get to the main house.  “Dude, this place is gorgeous,” he said.  The house loomed in the distance, three stories high.  It was a beautiful plantation style home, with a wraparound porch on the second floor.  He could see miles of green behind the house, along with a little peppering of smaller looking houses in the back. 

“Aunt Bunny was always very particular about her place. I wonder if they’ll keep it up now that she’s gone,” Benny said.  He stopped in front of a large rosebush, bursting with beautiful, pink blossoms.  They swayed lightly back and forth in the breeze, their scent floating on the wind, tickling his nose. He reached forward and carefully plucked one of the smaller blossoms, doing his best to avoid the thorns. He had said he was sorry, but he knew there was still something bothering Dean. When he looked up he realized Dean was already making his way up the wooden porch steps, pausing on the last one to turn around.  Benny quickened his pace to catch up to him and stopped right in front of him, a little smile on his face. 

“Look I’m sorry I froze up on you back there,” Benny said quietly.  “I was serious when I said you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

Dean licked his lips and looked into his friend’s eyes. Putting himself in Benny’s shoes meant imagining what that kiss must have felt like for him.  He imagined that his friend must have been confused, confused by what the kiss meant and why it felt so…real. Or perhaps Benny hadn’t felt anything at all, and that’s what had scared him.  Dean wasn’t sure which option was worse, the thought that Benny was realizing that maybe he had feelings for him too, or the thought that he didn’t have any at all. 

Benny lifted the little blossom to his nose and took a little whiff.  “I want us to be okay. I don’t like the…”

“Awkwardness?” Dean finished. 

Benny nodded.  “You’re the one person in my life I can always count on, and this feeling…I want us to just be…us, the way we are.”  He reached up and began to slip the rose into the hole on Dean’s lapel. 

Dean’s heart jumped up into his throat.  Benny was so close to him, his familiar smell clouded around him and  the feel of his hands as he struggled to adjust the flower, made him shiver.  He wanted Benny’s hands on him, on his body, touching him, mapping out all those places that needed to be touched. He closed his eyes and when he opened them again, Benny was staring at him, his mouth slightly agape. “You catchin’ flies, Lafitte?” Dean teased, echoing Benny’s words from the bar. 

Benny smiled and rolled his eyes.  “I just might be,” he said with a little wink. “Alright, how do I look, Mr. Lafitte?” he asked as he spread his arms. 

Dean frowned.  “Who said anything about Mr. Lafitte? And you look fine.”

Benny cocked an eyebrow and began to walk over toward the door.  “No Mr. Lafitte?” he asked with a little pout. 

Dean walked over and stood next to him, adjusting his blazer.  “I can get on board with Winchester-Lafitte,” he said with a cheeky grin. 

“I bet you could,” Benny said with a little laugh. He reached up and rang the bell, unconsciously inching closer to Dean.  Their hands brushed and he jumped as an electric shock tingled where their skin had touched.  “You ready for this?” Benny asked.

Dean looked over at him and grinned.  “I was born ready.”

~

The person who answered the door was a kindly looking older man named Beau.  He smiled widely, little crinkles forming at the corners of his eyes, when he saw Benny, and leaned in for a hug. 

“Benny Lafitte, I never thought I’d see you round these parts ever again, boy,” he said as he pat Benny on the back.

Benny smiled and then laughed.  Growing up, Beau had always been the nicest person in the house, always looking out for Benny and sneaking him little treats and snacks whenever he was forced to come over and visit.  More importantly, Beau was easy going and open minded, a rarity in his family it seemed, and so when he had accidentally discovered that Benny liked boys as well as girls, he had kept his secret for him for a long time.  Even though Beau was technically not related to him by blood, he had known the man for so long, he considered him to be like family.  Most of the time, he felt more of a connection to the quiet old man than to the rest of the people with whom he shared a bloodline.     

Dean observed the older man who was looking up at Benny with nothing short of love and admiration in his eyes.  He reminded him of Bobby, his uncle and surrogate father when his own father had skipped out on him and his younger brother as kids.  Dean’s heart softened as he thought of Bobby.  He made a mental note to give him a call when he got back home. 

“And who’s your friend?” Beau asked with a knowing glance.

Benny looked over at Dean and cleared his throat. “Uh, Beau, this is, Dean…my…”

“Husband,” Dean said with a charming smile. He extended his arm and shook Beau’s outstretched hand. 

“Well I’ll be…husband, Benny?  You went and got married and didn’t tell us!”

Benny chuckled awkwardly.  “Well, you know…”

“He wanted it to be a surprise.  Hell, it was a surprise to me too!” Dean joked.

Beau laughed and shook his head.  “Well, they’ll be surprised alright. You boys come on inside, dinner is almost ready.”

As they walked inside, Dean realized that Benny had never actually told him what had happened between him and his brother.

“Dude,” he whispered. 

Benny glanced at him.  “What?”

“You never told me why you and your brother don’t…you know, talk. Isn’t that something I would know? You know, as your husband?” he asked through gritted teeth.

Benny’s stomach was in knots.  He knew what Dean was saying made sense but he couldn’t focus.  He was here, back in this house.  Memories came rushing back and he had to make himself move forward. 

“Benny?”

Benny stopped and sighed.  “I’m sorry, Dean.  Being back here just brings back some…not so great memories.”

Beau, who had been walking in front of them stopped and smiled at them.  “I’ll give you two a minute.  They’re all in the study, waiting for the lawyer, you boys have some time,” he said with a knowing wink.  “I’m glad you came back, Benjamin.  I didn’t think you would.”

He smiled and waited until Beau was gone before turning to Dean.  “Eli and I and had a huge falling out.  He thought our mother loved me more than she loved him.  I told him it wasn’t true, but when she died and left the house in my name, well, that didn’t help at all.”

Dean remained silent, somehow he knew that wasn’t the end of the story. 

“Before all that happened, I had a boyfriend. Handsome young thing, name was Andre.  To make a long story short, Eli slept with him.  Pretended he was me.”

Dean’s eyes widened in horror.  “What kind of Jerry Springer shit is that?” he exclaimed. 

“You’re tellin’ me.  I was devastated, and so was Andre, but, it was too much to come back from so we broke it off.  Me and Eli had a big fight and didn’t speak to each other again until our momma’s funeral.”

“Holy shit.  Is he here?  What are you gonna do when you see him?” Dean asked, scrubbing a hand across his face.

Benny laughed bitterly and shrugged.  “What can I do?  Just hope you don’t sleep with him, I guess,” he said with a little smile. 

Dean reached out and lightly smacked Benny’s arm. “I would never,” he said indignantly. 

Benny smiled and made a face.  “He’s pretty cute, you know.”

Dean folded his arms across his chest and rolled his eyes. “Oh really?  As cute as you are?” he asked with a little smirk.

Benny glanced in the direction of the study, his stomach all tied up in knots.  He wasn’t ready to see his aunts and uncles again.  Memories of how they had treated his mother came rushing back to him.  After she had fallen in love with Avery Lafitte, they had practically shunned her, telling her that she was worthless for not marrying into money like the rest of them had. He suddenly felt sick, unable to process the fact that he was back here, and that he was coming for money, of all things.  What would his mother say?  It was as though a blindfold had been removed from in front of his eyes and he could finally see. “Dean, I can’t do this…” he said softly.

“What?”

Benny shook his head.  “I can’t take this money.  Do you know what these people did to my momma?  They practically disowned her.  They…they treated her terribly for so many years just because she fell in love with someone who wasn’t rich and…I can’t take this money.  It would be an insult to her memory.”

Dean observed his friend and he felt his heart breaking into two pieces.  More than anything, he wished he could hold him and tell him that he would be okay, but after what had happened at Benny’s childhood home, he knew that was way off the menu. His heart ached for his friend’s loss, but he ached for his own as well.  A part of him had been secretly hoping that something would work out between the two of them, but he knew it was just a dream, a nice dream, but a dream, nonetheless.  “You came all this way…it would be like a final fuck you to them, you know? You just roll up in here with your gorgeous husband and by the end of the night, you’re fifty thousand dollars richer,” he said with a wolfish grin. 

Benny laughed.  “My gorgeous husband?”

“That’s what you choose to focus on in my rousing speech?”

Benny sighed and slumped his shoulders.

Dean extended his arm toward Benny and waited. “You can do this dude. I’m here for you.”

Benny stared at him for a moment before accepting his outstretched hand.  They laced their fingers together, a strangely comforting gesture, and he allowed Dean to guide him out of the hall and towards the study. 

They stopped in front of the large, wooden doors, fingers still entwined.  Before Dean could open the door, Benny leaned over and caught his lips in a quick, chaste kiss.

Dean was startled but he kissed Benny back, smiling, while his heart pounded in his chest.  “The hell was that for?” Dean breathed as they pulled apart.

Benny winked at him.  “One kiss for good luck.”

Dean swallowed against the knot that had formed in his throat and he smiled weakly.  He would need more than luck to fully recover from Benny and his kisses. With his heart rapidly plummeting into his stomach, he opened the door and they went inside. 

~

Meeting Benny’s family was underwhelming, to say the least. Beau had failed to mention that none of Benny’s cousins showed up and probably wouldn’t bother to come. “None of them cared about the old bat, anyway,” Benny rumbled as they walked into the study. 

Several of Benny’s family members were sitting around a large wooden table, all of their expressions solemn, their faces drawn. They all looked so old and worn, Benny thought as he walked further into the room.  It was amazing and terrifying what time did to people. He immediately spotted his aunt Helen, the nicest one of the bunch, and he smiled at her.

When Helen saw him, her entire face lit up in a smile and she jumped out of her seat.  “Benjamin! It’s so wonderful to see you! I was beginning to think you wouldn’t make it.” 

Benny smiled ruefully and leaned in to hug her. “Nice to see you too,” he murmured.  She looked so much like his mother, he had to do a double take.  When he held her in his arms, he pretended for a moment it was his own mother and he swallowed thickly against a knot forming in his throat. As much as she looked like his mother, she was nothing like her.  His mother had warmth and kindness in her eyes and her smile. Helen was sweet, but cunning, and knew exactly what to say to get a man’s blood boiling beneath his skin.    

“Well, who is this handsome young man?” Helen asked with a wry smile. 

Dean smiled and glanced over at Benny.  “Dean Winchester, I’m Benny’s husband.” Dean observed the little look of surprise that flitted across the woman’s face, but she masked it quickly and smiled. 

“Husband, why Benjamin.  You got married and didn’t tell us?”

Benny shrugged and chuckled.  “You know how it is.  Say ah, anybody else coming?”

His aunt flashed him a knowing glance.  “If you’re asking about your brother…he’s on his way. Your cousins aren’t coming.”

“Why not?”

Helen snorted and shook her head.  “They all had a terrible falling out with Aunt Bunny a little while before she died.  Something about borrowing a Porsche and crashing it somewhere. I don’t know.  I try not to get too involved with their…shenanigans.”

“Did they go to her funeral?”

“No, and you didn’t either so don’t get all up on your high horse,” she said, cocking her eyebrow. 

Benny made a face.  “No one told me that she died.  If it wasn’t for this, I would have never known.”

“Well maybe if you kept in touch,” Helen said, her voice a little colder than it had been before. 

Dean unconsciously moved closer to Benny, their hands brushing. 

“Why would I want to keep in touch with anyone here?” Benny asked bitterly.  He could feel his irritation rising and he clenched his jaw. 

“Your brother kept up with us.  He visits us all the time, calls.  Unlike you.  Didn’t even tell your favorite aunt about your wedding,” she said, casting a glance over at Dean. 

“We got a little caught up in the celebrations,” Dean said with a little smile. 

“I’m sure you did.  Well, you should say hello to your uncle and introduce him to your husband.  I’m sure he’ll be thrilled,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.  She walked back over to her seat, her heels clicking lightly on the shiny wooden floor. 

“You didn’t mention that she was gonna be an asshole,” Dean said leaning in close to Benny.  He had a smile plastered on his face. 

“Uh, yeah I did,” Benny said as they began to walk over to two empty seats. 

“Yikes,” Dean whispered. 

“Uncle Henry, Uncle Roy,” Benny said as he sat down. The two older men glanced at each other before smiling wanly at their nephew. 

“Good to see you, son,” one of them drawled.

“This is my husband, Dean.”  He was surprised how easily the words rolled off his tongue. He watched as Dean gave the men a wide smile and a wave. 

The men smiled back, their expressions guarded.

“They’re so nice,” Dean said sarcastically as he shifted in his chair. 

Benny snorted under his breath and began to drum his fingers nervously on the table.  He froze when Dean reached over and covered his hand with his own. He glanced over at Dean and realized that he was staring at him, a little smile on his face. Benny smiled back and turned his hand over so they could thread their fingers together.  It was soft and intimate, and Benny’s heart did a strange little flip flop in his chest.  He was suddenly overcome by the urge to kiss Dean again, but he was scared of what it meant.  Those feelings he had so desperately been trying to avoid were nipping at his heels. Much to his surprise, Dean was the one who leaned in for a kiss.  There was little Benny could do to avoid it, so he played along gracefully, a little smile brimming on his lips. 

“I think it made them uncomfortable,” Dean whispered with a wicked grin as they pulled apart. 

Benny laughed softly and glanced over at his uncles. “You’re right, I think it did.”

The next few moments passed in a strained silence, until they all heard the unmistakable sound of heels clicking on the floor out in the hall.  A minute later, the door opened and Boris and Celia walked in, Aunt Bunny’s brother and sister-in-law.  Behind them was a short man with a shrewd looking face, Crowley, their lawyer, and behind him was someone Benny thought he would never see again for the rest of his life, his twin brother, Eli. 

It felt like someone had sucked all of the air out of the room, the tension was thick and wrapped itself around them like thick coils of rope.  Benny shifted uncomfortably and looked away from his brother.  Seeing his face was like looking into some twisted type of mirror where the worst possible version of yourself stared back at you. 

“My eyes must be playing tricks on me.  Benjamin, is that you?” Eli drawled. His accent was a little thicker than Benny’s, more pronounced. 

“Eli,” Benny said quietly. 

Eli scoffed.  “That’s all I’m gonna get? Eli? After all this time, Benny? I thought we were brothers.”

Benny looked up at him and smiled thinly. “You know, I thought that too, but then I realized how wrong I was.”

“Take it easy, Benny,” Dean whispered softly.

“Boys, if you’d let me—” the lawyer was cut off by a deep, booming laugh from Eli. 

“You realized how wrong you was?  Well, this is rich.  After you took our mama’s house, and you just have it sitting there, you…you desert us, and now you come back?  For money, of course.”

This stung.  Benny hadn’t wanted to come here in the first place.  He had only done it because Dean had thought it would be a good idea to take the money and fix the bakery.  He was beginning to wonder if he had made a mistake coming down here.  “I didn’t come for that.”

“Oh yeah? Who’s this sitting next to you? Your husband? I bet it’s all a lie.  You’ve always been greedy.  Taking all of our mom’s affections, her things, you just…” Eli’s voice trailed off and he shook his head. 

“Mama loved us both equally and you know that!”

“What kind of delusional world do you live in, Benny?” Eli asked.

Dean glanced around the room at Benny’s relatives. They were all watching the scene play out in front of them with rapt attention, a couple of them had little smirks on their faces, their eyes were bright, even the lawyer couldn’t help but watch the uncomfortable exchange.  It was disgusting.  “I’m Benny’s husband,” Dean heard himself say. 

Eli squinted at him, unsure of how to respond.

“Yeah, we’ve only been married for a little while but, we’ve been together for a long time.  I’ve seen Benny grow, I’ve seen him do great things.  Do you all know how hard he worked to save money to open his own business?  Do you know what an amazing boss he is to his employees?  What an amazing friend he is? He’s the guy who would drop everything that he’s doing at a moment’s notice to be there for you. He’s the guy who put me back together when I thought I was drowning.  He’s a good man, and I’m proud to call him my husband. I love him.  And I don’t understand what he’s done to make you all hate him so much.”

Benny turned to look at Dean, his face softening. “Dean…you don’t have to…”

“Shut up, Benny.  I love you, and I don’t care what they think.  You’re a good person, and you deserve good things and…this is not good.  I’m sorry I made you come here.”

The words hit Benny squarely in his chest and he had to look away. 

“Aren’t you cute?  How much did he pay you to be here?” Eli snarled.

Benny rose out of his seat angrily.  “You can’t take this one from me, Eli.”

Eli rolled his eyes and laughed.  “You’re not still bitter about that whole Andre thing, are you?  Didn’t he ever tell you that he was the one who came to me?”

Benny paused.  “You’re lying,” he said, his voice shaking. 

“Why would I lie?  He came to me.  He knew it was me and he wanted me. It was the first time I got to…have something that you had.  And he came to me on his own.  That made it all the sweeter.”

Benny swallowed thickly and looked away. His eyes were stinging with unshed tears, his heart, swollen with grief.  He wouldn’t put it past Eli to lie to him just to rattle him but…he couldn’t help but wonder if it was true.  He had spent all this time thinking that Eli had been the one to initiate things with Andre…but what if he was wrong? 

“Benny?” Dean said in a small voice.  He reached out to touch his hand, bringing him back from wherever he had drifted off to. 

Benny looked over at Dean and then at his family. They were all staring at him, waiting to see what would happen next.  He could see the eagerness in their eyes, the little smiles at the corners of their cheeks.  They wanted something to happen, they were enjoying it! He thought about his mother, about one of the last things she had said to him before she had passed.  She had told him that he was a blessing, and that one day, he would realize it.

He was tired, he realized, of thinking he was bad luck, or that terrible things happened to the people around him.   For so many years, it had weighed heavily on his shoulders, these thoughts, but when he looked at Dean, he didn’t see someone who was ruined, or a mess, he saw someone who was sticking up for him, someone who was holding onto his hand tightly, someone who loved him.  He wasn’t responsible for the bad things that happened around him, bad things would happen in life, regardless of him being around.  But the good things, there were good things in life, there was his bakery, and even though it was gone, it had still been good. There was his mother, and even though she was gone, she had been good.  And there was Dean, who wasn’t gone, who was standing right beside him, and he was good.  He looked around the room once more, taking in the details of his family’s faces. He looked at his brother and then he smiled. 

“You know, Eli, I feel sorry for you.  Maybe one day we can be brothers again,” he said softly.  He reached for Dean’s hand and gently pulled him up to a standing position.  He threaded his fingers with Dean’s and squeezed down lightly on his hand.  “Dean, remember when I said I had lost the thing that meant the most to me in the world? Well, I was wrong.  I didn’t lose you,” Benny said quietly.   

“Benny…”

“Dean Winchester, I’m stupid, and blind, and I think I love you,” Benny said with a little laugh. 

Tears formed in Dean’s eyes and he shook his head. “Benny, I…”

Benny leaned over and caught his lips in a kiss. “You don’t have to say a damned thing, Dean.  I already know.”

Dean sighed softly and smiled against Benny’s mouth. His heart swelled in his chest, and all he could think was finally.

Finally.

Chapter Text

One Month Later

Benny woke up to the sound of a train rumbling in the distance. He opened his eyes slowly and blinked several times as they adjusted to the dim light in the room. He listened as the train’s metal wheels rattled on the tracks, shooting off like a bullet toward its destination. As the sound died down, his ears picked up on something else, the sound of someone next to him breathing soft and slow.  A little smile spread across his face and he rolled onto his side. 

Dean slept peacefully.  His mouth twitched for a moment and then he relaxed.  Benny could make out his husband’s eyelashes fanning out toward him in the dark. 

Safe to say, it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Dean wrinkled his nose and then his eyes fluttered open.  “You staring at me?” he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep.

Benny grinned.  “Is it a problem if I do?”

Dean frowned and closed his eyes.  “Look, when I asked you to be my roommate, I didn’t think it was gonna be this weird,” he teased.

Benny laughed and inched closer to Dean.

“So, how was your first night as an official resident of the Winchester household?” Dean asked with a little yawn. 

Benny made a face.  “To be honest, my roommate hogged the covers for half the night,” he said. He reached forward to cup Dean’s face in his hand. 

Dean laughed dryly.  “I told you to get an extra blanket.”

“It was fine,” Benny said with a grin.  He leaned in for a quick kiss, brushing his thumb along Dean’s cheekbone. 

“What a way to wake up,” Dean said with a little smile. 

“Ain’t you lucky…” Benny mumbled. 

Dean hummed happily and snuggled closer to Benny.  “So, have you decided what you want to do with the house?”

Benny sighed and shrugged.  “Selling it would probably be best.  I could use the money…”

Dean reached up to trace a finger on Benny’s shoulder.  “But it’s your mom’s house.  Don’t you want to…hold on to something of hers?”

Benny could hear the longing in Dean’s voice.  The strange desire to preserve a part of a past that wasn’t even his own.  “I do but…”

Dean curled his fingers around Benny’s shoulder and gave it a little squeeze. “So keep it.  Let’s fly back down there one weekend and clean it up. You can rent it out for a while, that way you’ll still have some money coming in…and then you can use the money in my savings to start working on rebuilding Lafitte’s.”

“Dean, I already told you I don’t want to use your money—”

“Hey, what’s mine is yours.  You can pay me back in beignets,” he said with a little snicker. 

Benny shook his head and sighed.  “What am I gonna do with you?” he asked. 

“Well you already married me, so that’s out,” Dean said with a pout.

“I’ll marry you again,” Benny said as he leaned in for another kiss.

“You would?” Dean asked in between kisses. 

“I would marry you a million times if I could,” Benny whispered.

“We should have a party.”

“A wedding reception?” Benny asked with a chuckle. 

Dean paused and looked into Benny’s eyes.  “Hey, Benny? Can I ask you a question…” he said softly.

Benny’s brows knitted together and he nodded. Lines of light were appearing on the opposite wall as the sun rose and shone through the blinds.

“Do you…really want to stay married to me?” Dean’s voice was small and shaky.

Benny searched for Dean’s hand and entwined their fingers together. “More than anything in the world. More than the house, more than the bakery, more than anything.”

Dean blinked and looked down.  He could feel a lump forming in his throat and his eyes stung.  When he blinked, a couple tears rolled down his cheeks and he laughed.  “Oh my God,” he said, embarrassed.

Benny smiled and reached up to wipe Dean’s tears away with his thumb. “I love you, Dean,” he said wistfully.

Dean blushed and chewed on his bottom lip.  “I love you too,” he mumbled.

Benny leaned in for another kiss.

Dean sighed happily and kissed him back. 

As the sun rose, Benny held on tightly to Dean and closed his eyes.  For two guys who didn't put much stock in happy endings, they didn't do so bad.  He kissed Dean's forehead and smiled. 

They didn't do so bad at all.