Chapter Text
Straightn’t
Joey: My sister might just be the worse
K%Z: I have a ton
K%Z: So I agree
L-Doo: I can’t say anything since Bree is here
Speedy: Give me a break, I’m the only girl (¬_¬ )
Jordan: Glad I lucked out with my little brother
Joey: ANYWAY
K%Z: kind of seems like you have something to say
K%Z: I could be wrong though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Speedy: No he definitely wants to say something
L-Doo: I don’t know… it doesn’t seem like it
Joey: My sister is the worse
K%Z: Oliver would not agree with that
Speedy: You’re lucky, Joey
Jordan: You have two sisters
Jordan: Which one??
Joey: Maddie
L-Doo: Glad it wasn’t Liv
Speedy: She wouldn’t even give you a chance
K%Z: Then Oliver wouldn’t care
Jordan: Stop mentioning Oliver ಠ_ಠ
K%Z: God forbid someone mention his best friends name 눈_눈
K%Z: So what happened, Joey?
Joey: Remember Maddie’s best friend?
K%Z: She’s the one obsessed with you, right?
L-Doo: Joey has a girl obsessed with him??
Speedy: More game than you Leo ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
L-Doo: I’ll have you know, I don’t need game
L-Doo: Janelle’s the only one for me
Jordan: Pack it up Leo
Speedy: You make it sound like you’re dating already
Joey: Yes that one, Kaz
K%Z: What happened?
Joey: Maddie had this brilliant idea of making up a secret admirer for her
Joey: It sounded like a good idea so I told her if it gets her off my back to do it
Speedy: How did that turn out badly?
L-Doo: Yeah seems like a good idea to me too
L-Doo: Maybe I should write a note (✿◡‿◡)
Jordan: Okay I’m curious on what happened next
Joey: She thought the note was from me ಥ_ಥ
K%Z: My condolences
L-Doo: Oh boy, how did you deal with that?
Speedy: What? Why?
Joey: I don’t know
Joey: Maddie ended up telling her though
Jordan: At least you got that sorted out then
K%Z: Eesh I would hate for a girl to be obsessed with me
Speedy: Or a guy
K%Z: Maybe…
Jordan: That’s cause you’re gay
K%Z: I’m still questioning that
K%Z: I mean DEFINITELY into dudes but girls? Maybe…
Jordan: Wait so there’s a chance you actually like Stefanie?
L-Doo: I’m Bi and Bree’s Bi
L-Doo: Joey’s gay and Jordan’s also gay
Joey: Wow what an observation ≽^-˕ -^≼
K%Z: Nooooo
K%Z: No way
Speedy: So Kaz is our tie breaker
K%Z: I’m honored (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)
Jordan: 𝓘'𝓶 𝓼𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓱𝓲𝓬
L-Doo: How did you get your text like that??
Speedy: It’s a texting font
L-Doo: Okay brb
Joey: Jordan’s second coming out
K%Z: don’t worry Jordan we support gay people
K%Z: (★‿★)
Speedy: 𝓸𝓻 𝓭𝓸 𝔀𝓮
Jordan: And here I thought this was a safe place ://
L-Doo: 𝓘'𝓶 𝓬𝓸𝓸𝓵𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾
Joey: It took you that long to say that?
L-Doo: I was figuring out what to say ¯\_(•_•)_/¯
Jordan: So you think you’re cooler cause you’re bi? :/
K%Z: wow Leo not cool
L-Doo: don’t misconstrue my words
Speedy: But it’s fun
L-Doo: I don’t want to know what you think is fun Bree
Jordan: What did Bree do?
Joey: But it is fun
L-Doo: her definition of fun is probably playing “putt putt” with perry
L-Doo: …whatever that means
K%Z: What is that Bree??
L-Doo: WHATEVER IT IS I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW
Joey: That does sound odd…
Jordan: Very questionable
Joey: Wait isn’t Perry your’e principal?
Speedy: She is
Speedy: What do you mean putt putt??
Speedy: When was this??
K%Z: Leo… are you going crazy?
L-Doo: I am not crazy
L-Doo: Adam said you guys were playing putt putt with Perry
Speedy: When??
Jordan: LOL Leo has Bree confused now
Joey: Adam…
Joey: That’s one of your brothers, right?
Speedy: it is
L-Doo: Yesterday when the FBI was in our house
K%Z: EXCUSE ME?? THE FBI??
Jordan: What’s the story behind that? (∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
Speedy: OHHHH
Joey: You guys are serios abt this?
L-Doo: Yeah they were there
Speedy: They almost arrested Mr. Davenport
L-Doo: And we were willing to let him sacfricie himself
K%Z: Why where they there?
Speedy: IT WAS CAHSE’S FAULT
L-Doo: I agree it was all chase and had nothing to do with us
Jordan: Okay but what did Chase do then??
Speedy: Mr. Davenport bought this really expensive artwork
Joey: Oh liek around a thousand dollars?
L-Doo: Try a million
K%Z: You’re rich?!
Jordan: Wait for real?
Speedy: I guess so
L-Doo: YES!
Joey: How rich?
L-Doo: BILLIONAIRE
K%Z: Wait– you said Mr. Davenport…
K%Z: As in Davenport industries?!!??
Speedy: He’s that well known?
Speedy: I thought he was just exaggerating
L-Doo: That’s him
Joey: SERIOUS?? SERIOSULY??
Jordan: so technically if you wanted to you guys can come visit us
Jordan: Just a thought
K%Z: OR
Speedy: ?
K%Z: Sent to early EL OH EL
K%Z: or you guys can fly us out ☆⌒(ゝ。∂)
Joey: We’re just saying /ᐠ. .ᐟ\ Ⳋ
L-Doo: Mr. Davenport is stingy with his money
Speedy: He must waste a lot in electricity with all those different floors
Jordan: Like your house is more than one floor?
Speedy: Ughhh technically??
L-Doo: He has a bunch of different rooms in different floors
Joey: how many floors??
L-Doo: idk a ton
speedy: we don’t even have stairs for them
Jordan: you have an ELEVVATOR in your house?!
Speedy: I have to use the elevator to get to my room
K%Z: hold up we’re straying off course
K%Z: why was the fbi there?
Joey: oh right i frgt abt that lol
Speedy: He bought a painting and…
L-Doo: Chase destroyed it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Jordan: how did you guys destroy the painting?
Speedy: Not WE just chase, him alone, we definitely did not do it and are just blaming it on him
Joey: So how then?
L-Doo: We accidentally punctured it when putting it away
L-Doo: *Chase not we :D
K%Z: Mr Davenport must have freaked out
Speedy: When he found out he did (¬_¬")
Jordan: At what point did he find out?
L-Doo: When the FBI was trying to arrest him
K%Z: EL EH MAYO
Joey: Kaz wtf is that??
Jordan: Translation: LMAO
Speedy: Kaz please just say LOL and LMAO like a normal person ಥ◠ಥ
K%Z: THAT’S HOW IT SOUNDS
L-Doo: Don’t listen to them Kaz keep living your best self
K%Z: I need this support in these trying times •︵•
K%Z: Yeah… I almost failed my test today and no one has said such kind words until now
K%Z: Thank you L-Doo ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝★
L-Doo: You’re very welcome
Jordan: Kaz, you almost always fail your tests??
K%Z: That’s on my own accord ˙◠˙
K%Z: And not because Gus ate my test ᗜ˰ᗜ
Joey: So insensitive jordan
Speedy: Jordan look at his suffering
K%Z: Thank you all ( ◡̀_◡́)ᕤ
L-Doo: I’m sorry??
K%Z: No idea why you’re apologizing but i accept it
L-Doo: No I mean he ate your test??
Jordan: He eats everything
K%Z: He ate a guy’s shirt one time
Joey: I’m scared to ask what he hasn’t eaten
Jordan: Ddon’t question it
K%Z: Alright back to the story guys
Speedy: You’re the one who changed the topic??
L-Doo: Don’t blame Kaz
Joey: You’re the one who changed it bree
Speedy: can’t a girl catch a break?
Jordan: With these idiots?
Speedy: Right, forget I asked
L-Doo: HEY!
Joey: I’m literally passing all my classes with A’s
K%Z: Really? Even PE?
Joey: with the exception of PE ᓚᘏᗢ
Joey: But hey, I’m passing it at least
Jordan: Idiots (¬_¬)
K%Z: This idiot is doing well in life
K%Z: I’m thriving and have never been happier
Speedy: What’s got you so animated?
Speedy: I mean admittedly my life’s been better the last year toO!!
L-Doo: It all because of me ⌓‿⌓
L-Doo: I came into your life a year ago ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
Speedy: Ew that emoticon remind me of Eddie
K%Z: Let’s just say dreams do come true
Joey: Who’s eddie??
Jordan: Wdym Kaz??
L-Doo: Eddie is like this artificial program in our house that Mr davenport created
K%Z: Oh that sounds so cool!!
Speedy: It isn’t he’s so annoying
L-Doo: And obsessed with Mr. Davenport
L-Doo: He’s literally almost killed my mom
Joey: Surprised you don’t hate him more than Marcus
L-Doo: Ugghhh
L-Doo: Don’t remind me of him rn
Jordan: KAZ ANSWER MY QUESTION
K%Z: GEEZUS JORDAN
K%Z: Let’s just say I met some amazing people this year
Joey: At your work?
K%Z: YES.
Jordan: OHH right
Jordan: I forgot you got one
Jordan: You still don’t tell me where the cafe is though, i wanna pop in
Jordan: see if you’re lazing around in there too
K%Z: don’t believe you
Jordan: Ojay I want free coffee
K%Z: Sounds more like it
K%Z: But I can’t say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
L-Doo: Why can’t you??
K%Z: Oliver and I got fired
Speedy: Seriously?
K%Z: Yeah we were goodfing off
Jordan: That checks out
Joey: Well atleast Oliver can still see Connie at school
Jordan: Speaking about Connie
Jordan: Her full name is CONNECTICUT?!
Speedy: Isn’t that a state??
L-Doo: It is but I guess it’s also her name
K%Z: EL OH EL
K%Z: Don’t forget her baby twin sister: Virginia and West virginia
Jordan: She has siblings??
Joey: Why name them all after states??
L-Doo: Oliver sure likes an interesting person
K%Z: Oh he’s the best
K%Z: By HE I mean CONNIE'S FATHER NOT OLIVER
Jordan: very happy people
Jordan: way too enthusiastic
Jordan: Today her father and her cousin were in our class cheering for her during our test??
Speedy: Oh I would hate that
L-Doo: I hate when Mr. Davenport and my mom show up
L-Doo: Unless Mr. Davenport is showing up to take us laser shooting (¬‿¬)
Joey: Okay wow
Joey: Stop bragging
K%Z: Way too insensitive Leo smh
Jordan: Speedy, just gonna let him talk to us like that? </3
Speedy: Leo have some tact not everyone can go laser shooting
L-Doo: YOU LITERALLY GO TOO
K%Z: she’s not bragging abt it though
Speedy: Right?
Joey: Shame, Leo
L-Doo: Now this is why you’re my frenemies
K%Z: So when you say laser shooting do you mean actual lasers?
L-Doo: No fake lasers, like game ones
Joey: OH laser tag?
Speedy: Yeah that!
Jordan: That makes more sense
L-Doo: Did you all think we were talking about actual lasers??
Joey: Maybe…
Speedy: Tasha would have Mr. Davenport out on the street if he did that
K%Z: Good for her keeping her kids safe ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
Joey: Okay but i actually want to hear more about the fbi story
Jordan: and what putt putt with perry is…
L-Doo: NO
L-Doo: no putt putt with perry.
Speedy: Okay We destroyed the painting and repainted it without telling Mr davenport and he tried selling it
L-Doo: *COUGH* Chase destroyed the painting *COUGH*
K%Z: This is literally a text leo </3
Jordan: No need to remind us that it was Chase
Joey: We get it chase did it and definitely not all of you
K%Z: SO then what Bree?
Speedy: The guy notified the authorities of Mr. Davenport selling a counterfeit painting
L-Doo: The FBI show up and almost arrested Mr Davenport until we came clean about destroying it
L-Doo: But Bree, Adam, and Chase had to go get the original painting back or else they would arrest him
Speedy: They had a search warrant so they trashed our house <(ꐦㅍ _ㅍ)> until we got the original back
L-Doo: They were so rude
L-Doo: I even recited a poem for them (ง'̀-'́)ง
K%Z: So what’s putt putt with perry mean?
L-Doo: and that’s my sign to get off
Joey: Are you serious Leo? LOL
L-Doo: 100%
Jordan: Alright, you can leave I want to know what it is
Speedy: it literally wasn’t anything bad
K%Z: Really?
Speedy: yeah it was just golfing in the school
Jordan: Leo made it sound like it was something more amazing
Speedy: well she had this whole set up where she had to hit the ball and how it should ricochet so it can land in the hold the painting had
Joey: That actually sounds pretty fun
Jordan: she did this inside the school?
Speedy: Yeah and broke a window
K%Z: She sounds amazing