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Chapter Text

It had been a long day... and it had been a long week. Fred and Morse were exhausted. There had been a nasty murder in the early hours of Monday morning and from the moment the body was found and called in to the Police, to where they were now, seven o'clock on Thursday evening, it didn't seem like they had stopped.
In addition to the murder, another member of the victim's family had gone missing, so it had been all hands on deck to find her.

Even during the busiest of cases, Fred usually managed to have at least one evening meal with his family, but not this week. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday had all seen him and Morse working well into the evening and now here they were with their Thursday evening having gone the same way.

After both missing breakfast on Monday morning, Win had insisted on Fred and Morse both sitting down and eating something before they left for work each morning that followed. If she hadn't, Fred would have probably not spent more than two waking hours with his wife all week.

They had found the missing family member, about an hour ago, being held captive by the murderer in a house a 25 minute drive north of Oxford.
She was safe and on her way to hospital for a check up. The offender was in cuffs and on his way to the cells and the scene was being taken care of.

The two night shift CID officers would take care of the interview and Fred and Morse were just setting off to drive back to the station to complete their part of the paperwork.

Fred had sent Jakes and Strange straight home, no sense in them all traipsing back to the CID office at this late hour. He and Morse would work late tonight and the others could start early in the morning.

Fred had already called home and told Win he'd be late... again. She said it was fine, she understood, but she couldn't hide the disappointment in her voice.
Well, if they could get the majority of the paperwork done this evening, then tomorrow would be an easier day. He could look forward to going home at a normal time and spending the entire weekend with his family to try to make it up to them.

As they got into the Jag, Morse ran his hand over his face.
"You ok lad?" asked Fred
"Yes, I'm just glad this week is almost over. I think when I get home tomorrow night, I might just sleep through the whole weekend!" said Morse with a yawn

"Ha! You and me both.. although, I need to spend time with Win... awake this weekend. Ninety percent of the time we've been together this last four days, we've both been fast asleep." Said Fred with sadness.
"Well, we found the girl alive, so that's got to be worth it?" said Morse
"It's worth it lad, saving someone's life... but it doesn't make missing out on time with your own family any easier" said Fred

Morse looked sad at that. His Mother was the only family he'd ever had, whose time he wouldn't have wanted to miss out on. He would have loved to have had something worthwhile like this to have taken him away from his father and Gwen though.

Fred noticed Morse's look and realised while he'd been complaining about missing his family, Morse didn't even have one to miss.
"Look lad, why don't you come over for Sunday lunch? It would be lovely to have you round. I know Win would love that." said Fred hopefully
"Maybe?" said Morse
"Alright, at least that wasn't a 'no'" said Fred with a smile

As they drove back to Oxford, their thoughts invariably wandered back to the case. Thinking what that poor woman had gone through, being locked in that house for four days.

It was so dark out here, in these country lanes. No street lights here and with thick clouds blocking any chance of moonlight, the Jag's headlights were all they had to see their way home.
Rain was beginning to fall and the weather reporters had predicted freezing temperatures by the middle of next week.

Then suddenly,
"MORSE! LOOKOUT!"
Thursday shouted as a deer ran out in front of the car.
Morse's eyelids had been getting heavier and heavier and although he was not asleep, he hadn't seen the deer at the side of the road before it ran out.

Morse turned the steering wheel and slammed on the brakes. The car began to skid. Morse let the brakes off to stop the skid, but it was too late, the jag continued to slide sideways into a tree. The drivers door window had shattered on impact and Morse's head was slammed against the tree trunk.

Fred was thrown across the car and he hit his head on the dashboard.
Both men were knocked out cold. Fred had a large bruise forming on his forehead and Morse had blood running down his face and shards of glass everywhere.
The Jag, amazingly was, other than the smashed side window and a sizeable dent in the drivers door, rather undamaged.

The deer, you will be glad to hear, ran off completely unscathed across a nearby field.

The one thing that would have helped, would have been for Fred and Morse to have taken the same route back to Oxford as they had come. The same route all the other officers had taken. More importantly, the same route all the other officers drove back.
Because this would have meant, that the others would have then spotted the Jag and stopped to help.
But Fred and Morse had, in their efforts to try to get home a few minutes earlier, taken a short cut. So they were now, unconscious, down a lane that people rarely drove down.

It was half past ten that night when Fred slowly began to regain consciousness.
"Bloody hell, what happened?"

He hurt... well... just about everywhere. His head was throbbing and he could feel a bump on his forehead. He was lying across the front seats and leaning on Morse. He looked up at Morse with concern.
"Sir?" he said worriedly
"Sir! Wake up! Are you ok?"

Fred gently shook Morse's shoulder and Morse began to groan and move.
"Oh thank god! Sir, you're bleeding" said Fred, leaning over and trying to turn Morse's head towards him for a better look in the dim light.
Morse swatted Fred's hands away as he opened his eyes,
"Give me a minute and let me get my bearings lad" said Morse

It became apparent to them very quickly that they'd crashed the car.
"Oh yes, I remember the deer. I swerved to miss it." said Morse
"Yes, and you swerved straight into a tree by the looks of it Sir" said Fred

"Why was I driving anyway...?" began Morse
"...I mean, what's the point of having a bagman, if you have to do all the driving yourself." he asked
"I can't rightly remember Sir?" answered Fred with a frown.
Why was his D.I. driving and not him?

Fred looked at the Police radio, it was in a sorry state. When they'd crashed, his knee had connected with it and broken it from its holder, tearing all the wires out. They were not going to be calling for help on that.
They both got out of the car. Morse had to crawl across from the driver's side and get out of the passenger side due to the drivers door being blocked by the tree.
They surveyed the damage.

"Well, apart from the driver's door, there doesn't seem much damage to the rest of the car." said Morse
"Mmmm, it might be drive-able?" suggested Fred

Morse took charge and instructed Fred, telling him,
"Ok, Morse. I'll get back in and see if I can get it started and when I shout go, you give it a push." he said
"Right Sir" said Fred standing behind the car, while Morse climbed back in.

The trusty Jag started first time and with a bit of help from Fred pushing, Morse managed to get it away from the tree and out onto the road.

"Sir? I think I'd better drive the rest of the way? I know we've both been knocked out, but you've got quite the nasty cut to you head there." said Fred
"Mmmm, I feel fine, but alright" replied Morse

They swapped over and Fred began to drive. Morse looked at his watch,
"It's nearly half past eleven! I know I told Win I'd be late, but I expect she'll have given up and gone to bed by now."
"Do you want me to drop you straight home?" asked Fred
"Good idea, the paperwork can wait until the morning. We'll both go to mine though..." began Morse,
"... You can sleep on the sofa, I don't like the idea of you being on your own in your flat tonight after a bang on the head like that."

So they drove across town to Fred's house. Unfortunately, Neither of them realised that their respective head injuries were going cause them and those around them, more problems than they could imagine.

Chapter Text

When they got to Fred's house, they parked the Jag outside the house. They walked up to the front door and Morse started hunting through his pockets and pulled out a set of keys.
"These aren't my keys?" said Morse
"They're the keys to my flat!" said Fred
Morse handed the keys to Fred and carried on searching.

"I cant find my keys. They must have fallen out of my pocket when we crashed." said Morse
Fred pulled some keys out of his pocket then.
"Are these them?" he asked
"Yes! Where did you find them?" asked Morse
"In one of my pockets" shrugged Fred
Morse frowned, but took the keys and let them both in.

"Ssshhh. Win and the kids will likely be asleep by now." said Morse
They hung up their coats and crept through into the kitchen.
"Why don't you sit yourself down lad, while I get the first aid kit?" suggested Morse

Morse crept up to the bathroom and collected the kit and took it back downstairs. he and Fred set about tending to all their injuries. The cut to Morse's head was by far the worst, but at least it had stopped bleeding, so Fred was able to put a couple of plasters over it. They both had an impressive amount of bruises in all sorts of places and all of those places hurt like hell.

After they were done, Morse got a pillow and a couple of blankets and settled Fred on the sofa, before going on up to bed.
There was no point phoning the station tonight, he'd sent the rest of his team home anyway and the night CID officers wouldn't be expecting them back in the office tonight.

Morse crept in to Fred and Win's bedroom and tiptoed over to the chair, where he undressed down to his vest and pants, (he wasn't going to search for his pyjamas in the dark and wake Win up) before carefully and quietly climbing into bed.
He snuggled down under the sheets next to Win and was asleep in moments.
Fred also fell quickly asleep downstairs on the sofa. Both blissfully unaware of the shock their sleeping arrangements would cause.

The next morning, Joan had just woken up and was heading along the landing to the bathroom. Sam was a few seconds too late to get there before her and gave her a friendly glare as she got to the bathroom door and stuck her tongue out at him.

Just then Fred came walking, or more like limping up the stairs. He looked wide eyed at Joan and Sam,
"Erm, sorry, I didn't realise you'd be up yet" he said, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck and blushing slightly at the sight of Joan in her pyjamas.
Joan and Sam were staring at him in shock
"Dad! What on earth happened to you? You're covered in bruises!" said Joan
Before Fred had a chance to respond, they all heard Win shouting from the main bedroom,

"What on earth? What's going on? What are you doing in here and what happened to you? Look at the state of you!"
Joan and Sam made their way into their parent's bedroom, to find their Mum sitting up in bed next to a half asleep and very bewildered, and very injured Morse.
Fred walked into the bedroom then,
"What's going on up here? Is everything alright? I heard shouting?" he said
He didn't bat an eyelid at the fact that Morse was in his bed with his wife.

Win stared at Fred as she spoke,
"What do you mean, is everything alright? What kind of a question is that? and where have you just appeared from? Where did you sleep last night?" she asked him
"Erm, I slept on the sofa... because, after the crash..." Fred began
Morse put his hand on Win's arm and finished explaining
"I told him to sleep on the sofa, love. We had a bit of an accident in the Jag on the way back last night and I didn't want Morse going home on his own to his flat."

Win looked wide eyed at Morse, then Fred,
"No! No! No! Not again!" she exclaimed
She climbed out of bed and pulled her dressing gown on and rushed out of the room and down the stairs.
Morse shouted out to her,
"Win!"
Joan and Sam stared at Morse with shocked looks. Morse was calling Win by her first name and appeared to have spent the night with her. And to top it off, their Dad didn't seem at all fazed by any of it.

When Win got downstairs, she took a moment to calm herself. If that pair were playing a joke on her, they could explain it to their colleagues. If they weren't, then Win was going to need help. She didn't have the heart to be angry with them really, as after all, it had happened to her as well... she was just finding it hard to believe that it could happen again! This was bordering on the ridiculous.

Win picked up the phone and called the CID office at Cowley Police statIon.
"Hello, Cowley CID, D.S. Jakes"
"Hello Peter. It's Win Thursday here"
"Hello Mrs Thursday, erm, your husband's not here yet, is everything alright?"

"No, it's not. I need you to come here quickly and bring Max Debryn."
"Why? What's happened?"
"Well, it looks like Fred and Morse have been in a car accident and my Fred spent the night on our sofa last night and I woke up this morning to find Morse in our bed with me! she explained
Win couldn't see him, but Jakes eyes were like saucers and his mouth was hanging open.
"Ok, erm ...Mrs Thursday. I'll be there as soon as I can"

Jakes grabbed his coat and ran to the car and went straight to the mortuary.
"Doctor!" he shouted as he ran in
"Hello to you too Sergeant! If there's a fire, you're in the wrong building!" he replied with a raised eyebrow.
"Mrs Thursday just called, there's something wrong with Morse and the Inspector again, by the sound of it" said Jakes a bit breathlessly.

"Wrong with them how?" asked Max
"Mrs Thursday says she woke up this morning to find Morse sleeping next to her in her bed." said Jakes
Max looked wide eyed at Jakes
"And the Inspector?" asked Max
"Slept on the sofa, apparently..." explained Jakes
"...Mrs Thursday asked me to get there pronto and take you with me"

Max walked slowly up to Jakes, looking at him over the top of his glasses and put his hands on Jakes' shoulders.
"Is this some sort of joke Sergeant?" he asked
"No! She really did call!"
"Because if it is... I will bring you back here and spend the morning educating you on the versatility of the common scalpel." said Max in a scarily calm voice
"I swear, I'm not kidding you." assured Jakes

"Well then..." began Max
"... I think the laws of probability are currently being re-written when it comes to the Thursday family."
He grabbed his bag, before turning to Jakes and asking,
"Are they injured?"
"She didn't say, but she did mention they'd both been in a car accident." answered Jakes
"Well, I'll take my bag. The one I have to cover all and every eventuality... hopefully that should suffice"
Max followed Jakes to his car and they both set off to the Thursday's house.

Sam and Joan were aware of the previous cases of amnesia and confusion that Morse, Fred and Win had all experienced, but to see it play out like this, it was proving hard for them to believe.
"D'you reckon they're joking? You know... having us all on?"
whispered Sam as he stood on the landing with Joan
"I don't think so... it looks like Morse spent the night in Mum and Dad's bed! And Dad slept on the sofa! They wouldn't do that as a joke, surely?" she answered

Just then Morse came out on to the landing with Fred.
"Sam, Joanie. Is something wrong? Where did your Mum go?" asked Morse
Joan stared at Morse, not sure of what to say...
"Erm, Morse? I think we should be asking you if there's something wrong?" she said
"He's Morse" said Morse, with a frown and pointing to Fred

"Miss Thursday? Don't worry about us being injured, our injuries are worse than they look." said Fred
"Dad? You're scaring me... why are you calling me Miss Thursday?" asked Joan
"I'm Morse, Miss Thursday. He's your Dad..."
said Fred with a frown, pointing to Morse
"...are our bruises that bad this morning that you can't tell us apart?" he chuckled.

Joan and Sam looked at Fred and Morse, then looked at each other.
Morse spoke up then,
"Look, we really don't have time to be standing around here while you two pretend to get me and Morse mixed up! We've got a mountain of paperwork to get through, down at the station." said Morse

He went back into Win and Fred's bedroom and got dressed, back into the suit he had taken off the night before. He did get himself a clean shirt from the wardrobe, frowning slightly as he put it on. It seemed rather big on him? But he didn't have time to stand there worrying about his shirt sizes.

Morse went downstairs and found Fred in the hallway.
"Right then, have you got the car keys lad?" he asked Fred
"Yes Sir" replied Fred, holding them up and giving them a little shake
They both put their coats on.
"Win, love, we've got to go." Morse called out

Win appeared in the kitchen doorway,
"No, you're not going anywhere! Peter and Max are on their way here now to see you" she explained
"Peter and Max...?" asked Morse "...as in Peter Jakes and Max Debryn?"
"Yes" said Win
"Did they say why? Is there a body nearby?" asked Fred
"No, there's no body. I called them and asked them to come! They're coming to see you two! On account of... This!"
She gestured between the two of them.

"Oh, you mean our car accident?" asked Morse
"Well... yes, and your injuries! You've obviously both had a bang on the head and you're both covered in bruises and you both think... "
Win trailed off, and started to get upset. Morse went and put his arm around her.
"We both think what love?" he gently asked

"Never mind" she answered. She doubted she get anywhere if she tried to explain it to them.
"Look pet, if we can get to work early and crack on with all the paperwork, then I reckon we'll be done before four o'clock. I might even be able to get home early later on. I'll bring Morse home with me and we can all have a lovely dinner together tonight. How does that sound, love?" asked Morse, giving Win a hug.
Win wasn't sure what else to say, so she just nodded.

"Tell Jakes and the good Doctor that we've gone into work, if they need to speak to us, they can catch up with us there." said Morse

With that, he and Fred went out and climbed into the Jag and drove away.

Chapter Text

Jakes and Max were just driving along the road towards the Thursday's house, when they saw the Jag coming towards them.
"Isn't that your Police car?" asked Max
"Yes it is... with a bloody great dent in the side! Did you see that?" exclaimed Jakes
"Yes I did" said Max
Peter thought about turning round and following the Jag, but decided to carry on towards the house,
"I think we better check on Mrs Thursday before we do anything else. She sounded quite upset on the phone."

They pulled up outside and Win came running down the path to meet them,
"They've just left. I tried to stop them!"
"Where are they going?" asked Jakes
"In to work. They said to tell you, they'd see you there." said Win

"Maybe we should come in and speak to you first in that case? Then we can go and find them?" suggested Max
Jakes nodded, they needed to make sure Win was ok before heading off back to the station.

They all sat in the lounge and Max spoke up first,
"I happened to notice as I passed the kitchen, the first aid kit on the counter? And all the blood?" he said, with a frown.
"Yes, they said something about being in an accident? They were both covered in bruises and Morse had a really nasty cut on the side of his head and lots of little cuts all over his face." said Win worriedly
"And you said Morse was in your bed this morning ?" asked Max
"Yes! I woke up and turned over to say good morning to Fred, but Fred wasn't there. Morse was" said Win

Joan couldn't stop herself giggling.
"Its not funny Joan!" said Win
"Sorry Mum, but... well I've been trying for ages, just to get Morse to take me out for a drink! What's your secret?" she asked
"Joan!" she scolded, but she did let out a small chuckle.

"And what did he say to you, when he woke up?" asked Jakes
"Nothing. It was me who did all the talking, asking him what was going on and what had happened to him. I'd woken him up. He just lay there half awake looking confused. Then Fred came in asking what all the fuss was about" explained Win

"And what did he say?" prompted Jakes
"He asked if everything was alright and said he'd heart shouting. He didn't even bat an eyelid when he saw Morse in bed with me. If anything, Fred looked a bit embarrassed." said Win
"Yeah, Dad actually blushed and looked away when he saw me in my pyjamas!" chuckled Joan

"It's happened again hasn't it?..." asked Max
"...Only this time, it seems they think they are each other." he mused

"Bloody hell... what is going on around here? Amnesia's not contagious is it Doc?" asked Jakes
"I certainly hope not...". began Max with a raised eyebrow
"...but, no. You're perfectly safe. As long as you don't bang your head on anything" he added with a pointed look at Jakes
"Wasn't planning on it" Jakes assured him.

"So what can we do?" asked Joan
"Nothing at the moment, I'm afraid. We'll go to the station and speak to them there and see what we can sort out" said Max

"They'll be ok, won't they?" asked Sam
"Well, I'm sure if the last four occasions are anything to go by, they'll end up getting involved in some sort of mischief, things will run their course and your Mother will be sleeping next to the Inspector by bedtime." said Max

"We'll keep in touch and if you need anything... ring me" said Jakes
Win thanked them and showed them to the door.

At the station, Fred pulled the Jag into to garage area of the Police station car park.
As they got out of the car, the mechanic came over.
"Blimey! You two don't do things by halves do you! What on earth happened to this poor girl?" he asked
"We're both fine, thanks for asking" said Fred
"We slid into a tree last night." added Morse

"Well, you better give me the keys and I'll get you the forms to fill in and sign" he said
He handed the forms over and Morse filled them in with all the details.
"They've got to be signed by an Inspector or above I'm afraid" he said to Morse
Morse and Fred looked at each other and then at the mechanic, as Morse handed the clipboard back to him. He'd signed it 'D.I. Fred Thursday'.

The mechanic looked at the signature then grinned,
"You two are quite the little double act aren't you?"
"How soon can we get it back do you think? Maybe tomorrow?" asked Morse
"Oh I'm sorry, I haven't been on the magicians course. To expensive by all accounts, since the cutbacks"
The mechanic gave them a pointed stare.
"Take the Morris Cowley over there, she's a good solid car, she'll look after you till you get the Jag back. I'll ring the CID office when your Jag's feeling better"
He threw the keys to Morse, who promptly handed them to Fred.

They got in and drove the Morris round to a parking bay at the side of the station and went into the office.
Morse strode through the office with Fred in tow. Morse went straight into Fred's office and hung up his coat and sat at Fred's desk.
Fred followed him in,
"We need to do our statements about that crash last night, once you've done yours, drop it on my desk will you?" said Morse
"Yes Sir" said Fred
Fred went and sat at Morse's desk and began to write his statement.

About ten minutes later Mr Bright walked into the CID office, he stopped in his tracks and frowned when he saw Fred typing away at Morse's desk. He walked over to him.
Fred looked up,
"Anything I can help you with Sir?" and asked

"Something wrong with your office is there?" asked Bright
Fred looked all around the CID office, then back to Bright
"No, I don't think so Sir?" he answered with a frown.
"Come into my office will you? I'd like a word." said Bright and he walked out, closely followed by Fred.

"Close the door Thursday" said Bright, going round and sitting behind his desk
"Erm, Sir..." Fred began, about to tell him that he wasn't Thursday, but Bright carried on talking
"Are you quite alright? You've got an almighty bruise on your forehead!"

"Well, Sir, we had a bit of an accident on the way home last night." said Fred
"A bit of an accident! How can you have a bit of an accident? Surely it was one or it wasn't?" asked Bright

"It was Sir, a deer ran out in front of us on the way back from the scene and we swerved to miss it and hit a tree Sir." said Fred
"Heavens! are you both alright?" asked Bright with concern
"Yes, we patched each other up with a first aid kit last night." said Fred

"Mmmm, anyway. I need you to sign these papers for me. They're to confirm that all the officers on your team have completed the necessary firearms refresher training course for the continued use of firearms when needed." said Bright
Fred frowned, but took the folder and duly signed each of the forms and put them back in the folder and handed it back to Bright
"Splendid, thank you" said Bright

Fred went back and sat at Morse's desk and finished his statement, before handing it to Morse.
"What did Mr Bright want to see you about then?" said Morse
"Oh, he asked about the accident, when he saw my bruise and he wanted me to sign a handful of forms about firearms authority?" frowned Fred
"What's that now? Surely I should be signing those?" frowned Morse
"That's what I thought" said Fred

It was about five minutes later, the phone in Fred's office rang.
"Thursday" said Morse
He listened for a few moments before replying
"We're on our way"

Morse grabbed his coat,
"We've got a body, behind the Bodleian Library. Single stab wound. Grab your coat lad" said Morse
They got into their Morris and drove away.

When Jakes and Max arrived at the Police station, they went into the CID office. Mr Bright was already there, looked rather bemused.
"Morning Sir" said Jakes
"Good morning Sergeant, you haven't seen Inspector Thursday or Morse on your way in have you?" he asked
"No Sir? I was hoping they'd be here?" said Jakes

"Is everything alright with the Inspector? It's just that I asked to see him and gave him some forms to sign." said Bright
"Sir...?" said Jakes, wondering what Bright was getting at.
Bright handed the forms to Jakes, they were all signed 'D.C. E. Morse'.
"Bloody hell" said Jakes, running a hand through his hair.

Chapter Text

Jakes told Mr Bright everything that had happened that day so far.
"Sergeant Jakes..." Bright began
"...are you quite sure about this? If this turns out to be some sort of elaborate joke, I will invite you into my office and you will never be seen again." Bright stared intently at Jakes

"Sir, Doctor DeBryn's already threatened to end me with a scalpel, so I think there's a bit of a queue..."
Bright raised an eyebrow at Max, who gave him a sheepish look in return.

Max relayed the facts so far, to Mr Bright,
"It seems that Morse and the Inspector were involved in a car accident last night, where they were both knocked unconscious and I can assure you Chief Superintendent, that having visited the Thursday household with Sergeant Jakes this morning, this is not a joke and I have no explanation as to why they seem so susceptible to amnesia." said Max

"And Morse slept in Thursday's bed you say?" asked Bright
"Mmmm" said Jakes, having decided a comment of any sort in answer to that question, could land him in hot water.
"And Thursday was there and didn't say anything?" asked Bright
"Didn't bat an eyelid Sir" said Jakes
"Oh dear, well you need to find the pair of them pronto. And when you do, bring them straight back here, to my office" said Bright
"Yes Sir" answered Jakes

Bright strode from the room and Jakes turned to Max,
"Have you got a post mortem to do, or do you fancy coming with me and helping me find those two?" he asked
Max was just about to answer, when Jim Strange walked in.

"Hello you two! I'd have thought you'd both be out at the scene by now?" he said
"What scene? We've only just got here" said Jakes
"Yeah, call came through about ten minutes ago. Body behind the Bodleian Library. Been stabbed. I've got a mountain of work here on our last case, but Morse and Inspector Thursday are en route." explained Strange.

Max spoke up,
"Right Sergeant, I think we better head out. If you wouldn't mind stopping at the mortuary so I can pick up my magic set on the way? I think I'm going to need the hat with the extra rabbit in it today."
"Sure Doctor" said Jakes with a smile

They arrived at the scene a short time later, to find Fred and Morse there, speaking to a librarian who'd been the unlucky person to find the body.
"I got here just after eight this morning. I came in this way. He wasn't here then! I popped back outside for a cigarette about half an hour later, and there he was! Oh god! Just lying there. Like that!". she pointed at the body. She was distraught. She couldn't take her eyes off the body.
Morse had a talk with her and took all her details then escorted her into the library and left her in the company of the head librarian.

"Hello gentlemen" said Max
"Hello Max" said Fred
"Morning Doctor" said Morse
They both nodded to Jakes.
"You two have been through the wars last night then?" said Max
"Yes, had a bit of an unfortunate run in with a deer. The deer escaped unscathed and we've ended up looking like this!" said Morse

"Mmmm, best I check you both over when we're done here, as I believe your only medical attention has been by each other at the Inspector's kitchen table?" said Max
"We're fine Max, there's really no need" said Fred
"All the same, I want to make sure you've got no serious issues. You've both had a nasty knock to the head and been unconscious." Said Max with a pointed stare.

"Fine, we'll drop by the mortuary when we leave here" said Fred with a frown
"He's right lad. You need to get that head of yours checked." said Morse
"You too Sir! If I'm going, you need to come with me" said Fred
Morse rolled his eyes at Fred, but agreed,
"Blimey! Alright then lad."

Max proceeded to go and check the body.
"Cause of death appears to be a single stab wound. The knife as you can see is still in his chest. Quite a lot of blood under the body, so suggests he was killed here." said Max

He went through the man's pockets briefly and handed Fred a wallet.
"It's empty" said Fred
"Any photos or anything else?" asked Morse
"No, I mean it's totally empty, not just of money, but there's nothing else... nothing in there at all." said Fred

"Robbery then?" questioned Morse
"Well, why take everything? Surely if it was robbery, they'd just grab the cash?" said Fred
"Unless cash was all he had in the wallet?" suggested Max

"I'll be able to tell you more when I get a closer look, shall we say two o'clock for the post mortem?" said Max
"Yes" nodded Morse
"And I'll see you both in half an hour to look at your injuries." Max added
Fred rolled his eyes at Max, but Morse nodded.

Max frowned, he could not believe that Morse and Fred were genuinely of the belief that they were each other. He had no idea how to fix this. He'd had no real idea how to fix things the previous times. It was only by luck really that his advice to take Win home, when she thought she was Morse, had worked when she saw items in her home that had jogged her memory.

"What do you think then?" said Jakes to Max, as Fred and Morse drove away.
"Well, at least this time, they shouldn't end up getting into too much trouble." said Max
"Oh yeah? How do you figure that then?" asked Jakes skeptically

"Well, they're both Policemen and they're still Morse and Thursday, just the wrong way round. At least they're used to working together and what ever either of them do as Police officers, it will still be legal"
Max raised a pointed eyebrow at Jakes
"You mean as opposed to Mrs Thursday handcuffing and kidnapping Morse last time?" answered Jakes
"Exactly" said Max

Max set about finalising things at the scene and Jakes dropped him back to the mortuary.
He completed some of his paperwork then glanced at the clock. His two confused Police colleagues should be with him any moment.

When Fred drove them away from the scene, he headed towards the Radcliffe Hospital.
"We're we going?" asked Morse
"To the mortuary. To see Dr Debryn" answered Fred
"We don't need to meet him for another half an hour, turn left here." said Morse

Fred followed Morse's directions until they pulled up outside a department store.
"Wait here lad." said Morse
"Sir?" said Fred
"Look it's Win's birthday tomorrow and I thought I'd get her something nice" winked Morse
Fred frowned and nodded, he didn't want to know what his Inspector and Win got up to behind closed doors.

About twenty minutes later, Morse came back out with a package under his arm and a wide grin.
"She's going to love this! The sales lady said that these are the very latest in nightwear and all the women are going crazy for these! I bet she'll look gorgeous in this!" Morse winked at Fred again

"Sir! Will you stop winking at me! I don't want to imagine what your wife will look like in... whatever that is!" Fred was on the verge of blushing.
"Oh come on Morse, don't tell me you've never bought a young lady something nice to wear?" asked Morse
"Sir, please. We need to get to the mortuary." said Fred, pulling the Jag out into the traffic.

"Oh cheer up lad. Anyway, we can't got and see the good Doctor yet. I need to visit a witness over Headington way. Had a call this morning from the postmaster there. He's got us a list of names of his customers who were in the post office around the time of that incident two weeks ago." said Morse
Fred nodded and drive off towards Headington.

Jakes was back at the CID office when Bright walked in.
"Any sign of Thursday or Morse yet, Sergeant?" he asked
"Yes Sir, we've had a stabbing behind the Bodlean library, they both attended the scene. I've just got back" said Jakes
"And they're not with you?" asked Bright
"No Sir, Dr Debryn made arrangements for them to go back to the hospital and meet him in about half an hour, so he could check their injuries Sir" said Jakes
"Mmmm, quite right. Ok, let me know as soon as they return. Carry on" said Bright as he left the room.
"Yes Sir" answers Jakes

An hour had passed when Jakes' phone rang.
"Cowley CID, Sergeant Jakes?"
"Hello Sergeant, it's Max Debryn here."
"Oh hey. How are our two wayward amnesiacs then?" asked Jakes
"Well, that was rather what I was ringing you about. They have yet to arrive. We arranged for them to be here over three quarters of an hour ago." said Max
"Oh, you're kidding me? They've gone awol?" asked Jakes
"It seems so, I'm afraid. I'll ring you straight back if they should grace me with their presence." said Max
"Likewise, I'll go and see if I can find them" said Jakes

Jakes grabbed his coat and car keys. He got into his car. 'Ok, time to drive round the haystack... and look for the two needles', he muttered to himself as he drove away.
If they'd been in the Jag, he'd have had half a chance of spotting that, but they were in a Morris Cowley, so they'd be much harder to catch sight of in the traffic.

Truth was, Jakes had no idea where they could have gone. He didn't know what enquiries they might be following up on, so other than just driving randomly round the city, he was on a wild goose chase. They might not even be in the city.
Jakes just had to hope that they turned up for the post mortem at two o'clock.
It was just that two o'clock was four hours away and Jakes didn't share Debryn's optimism that Morse and Fred would stay out of trouble.

Chapter Text

Fred and Morse left the post office in Headington after getting the list. They both got Win a birthday card for tomorrow while they were in there. Morse's had a big heart on the front and 'To my Darling Wife' and the card Fred chose had a large yellow flower on it with a hedgehog sitting under it.
Fred also picked up a box of chocolates for Win, she was always so nice to him when he visited.
They bought some wrapping paper too, so they could wrap the presents up without Win seeing them.

"So, you and Joan?" asked Morse
"What?" said Fred
"Well, the two of you have been dancing around each other for weeks now! You wouldn't recognise a hint from that girl if it slapped you in the face lad! When are you going to ask her out?" asked Morse

Fred began to blush,
"Sir! I... she's your daughter!" said Fred
"I know lad and I'd much rather she went out with you than some of the characters I've seen eyeing her up in the past!" said Morse
"Well, if you think it's ok?" said Fred nervously
"Of course it is Morse! We'll all be glad when you finally pluck up the courage! Especially Joan!" said Morse

They made their way back to the CID office. When they got there, Jakes jumped out of his seat,
"Where the bloody hell have you two been?" he exclaimed
adding "Sir" to his question, after a raised eyebrow from Morse.

"Oh, blimey! We forgot to meet Max!" said Fred
"Come on lad, we'll go there now" said Morse
They quickly put the items they'd bought into the cupboard in Fred's office and made their way back out.
Jakes rang the mortuary as soon as they'd gone and told Max they'd turned up and were on their way over.
"Thank heavens for that" answered Max

About five minutes later, Fred and Morse arrived at the mortuary and were greeted by Max,
"Hello Gentlemen, better late than never." he said glancing at his watch.
It was a quarter past eleven.
"Sorry Doctor, we had a couple of enquiries to to care of and then it slipped our minds" said Morse
"Well, you're both here now. Take a seat." said Max

He checked them both over and was happy to see their physical injuries were not too serious.
"Well, had I or any other doctor had the pleasure of seeing you straight after the crash, we'd have advised at least two days off work with plenty of bed rest. But you've already both been racing all over Oxford, to scenes and on enquiries and it's only just after eleven o'clock!" said Max in an effort to tell them both off.

"Well, we did go straight home and sleep all night, so we got some rest" argued Fred
"Yes, and you didn't tell anyone where you were. Someone should have been checking up on you both overnight." said Max with a pointed look

"Anyway, what's done is done. Now, that's your physical injuries checked, now let's talk about your other issue shall we?" Max smiled
"What other issue?" queried Morse

Max looked at the two detectives before him and tried to this of the best way to deal with them. Treating their physical injuries was easy, but now he had to broach the subject of their mutual confusion.
Max had thought about how to approach this part. Just telling them wouldn't necessarily work, they needed evidence.
"Have you both got your warrant cards with you?" He asked
They both replied "Yes" and took them out.
"Look at them" instructed Max

They both frowned then looked at each other.
"What's this? Why have I got your warrant card?" said Morse
"Why have I got yours?" said Fred
"Must have got mixed up last night" said Morse

To Max's amazement, they simply swapped warrant cards and put each other's ID into their pockets. They didn't seem to register the photographs on them.
From the little that Max had read up on such things during the last few months, this was quite common, in that head injuries could cause such confusion.
All it meant now was that Max was still no closer to persuading Fred and Morse of their current predicament, of which they were both blissfully unaware.

"That was a pretty neat trick" said Fred
"Yeah, how did you know they'd got mixed up?" asked Morse
"Lucky guess" said Max with a frown before adding
"Gentlemen, you have both had a bang on the head and are suffering a form of amnesia..."

Fred and Morse looked at him
"I don't think we are Max... I would have remembered that." said Fred
Morse couldn't help himself and let out a chuckle at that.

Max rolled his eyes before pointing to Fred
"You are D.I. Fred Thursday"
Max then pointed to Morse
"And you are D.C. Endeavour Morse"

Fred and Morse frowned at Max, before looking at each other...
...then bursting out laughing.
"This is why we love you Max!" said Fred, clapping the doctor on the shoulder.

Morse spoke up then,
"I think if that was the case, then surely someone would have said something? Like Win, when I was in bed with her this morning, for example? Or my kids? Or Mr Bright?"
Morse looked at Max with raised eyebrows.

"Are you sure Win didn't say anything to you this morning?" Max asked Morse
"Well, she said a lot of things. Mainly about my injuries. I think she was shocked at my cuts and bruises. Oh and she was surprised to see Morse! She didn't know he'd slept on the sofa... much have been a bit of a shock for her when he turned up in our bedroom this morning!" said Morse with a grin.

"I need to phone Sergeant Jakes and let him know you've actually arrived here, can you both stay here while I do that?" asked Max

Max went into his office and rang the CID. He told Jakes and asked him to come over.
Max should have known, that when he went back out into the main area of the mortuary, Morse and Fred would be gone.
"Oh for heavens sake" he muttered to himself

Max did ring the CID office back, to save Jakes having a wasted trip, but he'd already left.
When Jakes arrived, he looked at Max then frowned
"Where are they then?" he asked
"I did ring you back, but you'd already left. When I came off the phone to you, and came back out here, they'd already gone." explained Max

"You're kidding?" said Jakes
"No. However, I do actually wish I could spend more of my time keeping a close eye on the Cowley CID and updating all the detectives on their colleague's whereabouts. But alas, I am a busy pathologist and have no time for such enjoyment." Max spoke to Jakes with a pointed stare.
"Well, where did they go?" asked Jakes

"Come into my office will you Sergeant and help me" said Max
Jakes followed him in,
"You start by checking in that cupboard by the door, I'll look over here." said Max
"What are we looking for?" asked Jakes, opening the cupboard
"My crystal ball! It came with my 'find the detective kit' I ordered last month!" smiled Max.

"Oh very funny! Well, ring me again if they come back will you?" asked Jakes
"Why don't you come to the post mortem at two o'clock? I doubt they'd miss that." suggested Max
"See you at two then" said Jakes as he left, shaking his head with a smile.

It was nearly one o'clock now and Fred was starting to get hungry. He hadn't intended to raise the subject, but his stomach let out an almighty rumble.
Morse looked at him wide eyed,
"When was the last time you ate, Morse?" he asked
"Last night, I think? Or was it before that?" Fred frowned.

Morse thought about it,
"We never got any breakfast this morning, what with all the todo about Win seeing our injuries and phoning the station. Never got my sandwiches either, come to that.". Morse looked at Fred and added,
"Come on lad. Pub. I'll buy us lunch, my treat"
"Sir, that's very kind of you, but..." began Fred
"No buts, I can't work properly on an empty stomach and neither can you!" said Morse

They both made their way to their local pub and Morse bought them both some chips and a pint each.
They sat at a table in the window.
"I was thinking." said Morse
"What about?" asked Fred
"Well, maybe you could take Joan out tomorrow lunchtime?" said Morse
"What? and why tomorrow?" frowned Fred

"Well, it's Win's birthday and I was going to cook her a nice meal, just the two of us and then give her her present afterwards." Morse looked pointedly at Fred
Fred began to blush and looked away.
"Bloody hell lad! Is there anything that doesn't make you blush? It's just a new nightie for goodness sake!" said Morse with a chuckle
"Yes, and I'd rather not imagine your wife in her nightie! Sir" replied Fred

"Ok, lad, I'm sorry. But back to your date with Joan?" said Morse
"What date? I haven't even asked her yet!" exclaimed Fred
"But will you? Sam's already arranged to go out all day tomorrow with his friends." said Morse
"Alright! When I drop you off after work tonight, I'll ask Joan out." said Fred
"Thanks lad, I appreciate it.... and so will Win and Joan!" Morse nudged Fred's arm
"Sir!" said Fred with wide eyes.

Chapter Text

Two o'clock came round rather quickly and they had just arrived at the mortuary for the second time today.
Max went through all the information with them. The only thing that may be of any use was the murder weapon, that he had already taken out of the victim's chest.
"It's a ceremonial dagger. Quite old. I haven't got much information for you, but I expect a visit to a university or museum would point you in the right direction?" suggested Max

Fred looked at the dagger, it was about ten inches long overall with a beautifully carved handle and a long and jagged blade.
"We could take it to the Ashmolean and see what they have to say?" said Fred thoughtfully.
"Mmmmm" said Morse
Fred picked up the dagger with them as they went to leave.
"Thank you Doctor" said Morse
"Thanks Max" said Fred

"Gentlemen, I rather think Sergeant Jakes was hoping to meet you here?" said Max
"Well, we need to check this dagger out. Can you tell him we'll see him back at the station?" asked Morse

"I wasn't joking around earlier, you know?" said Max
"What's that now?" asked Morse
"When I said you'd both got amnesia? I wasn't joking." said Max
"Of course you weren't" said Morse, smiling as they left the room.

Jakes arrived five minutes later and looked around the room.
"Do not tell me they've gone!" said Jakes
"Ok, I won't" replied Max
"Have they gone?" asked Jakes
"Do you want me to tell you now?" asked Max
"Yes please" said Jakes
"They've gone" replied Max

"Aaaaaaaggghhhhhhh" shouted Jakes, before slumping down in a nearby chair.
"I'll get the brandy, shall I?" asked Max
Jakes just nodded

Max poured them both a glass.
"If it's any consolation, they're heading to the Ashmolean with the murder weapon and they said they'd see you back at the station." said Max
"I'd have more luck catching up with a racing car if I was chasing it in my socks!" said Jakes dejectedly.

Fred and Morse went to the Ashmolean museum to show the dagger to the curator.
"Hello gentlemen, can I help you?" asked a man who walked up to them as the crossed the entrance lobby.
"I'm D.I. Thursday, this is D.C. Morse, Oxford City Police" said Morse
"Well, I'm impressed!" said the man

"You are?" said Morse
"Well, yes! I only called you five minutes ago. I didn't expect to see you here yet. Not just for a theft." said the man
Fred and Morse looked at each other and frowned.
"Oh, sorry. I should have introduced myself. I'm Charles Gately, the museum curator.". He shook both their hands.
"Do follow me, I'll show you where it was taken from"

Gately lead them through the museum to a large room, filled with glass cases and cabinets until they reached one in the corner. The glass lid had been prised open and there was a space where an artefact had been.
It was a case of daggers.
"Exactly what was stolen Mr Gately?" asked Fred
Gately held up a museum brochure and opened it and pointed to a photograph of an ornamental dagger.
"This dagger. This is a photograph of the actual one that was taken." said Gately

Morse held up their murder weapon. Gately looked at it wide eyed.
"How on earth? I don't know what to say! That's amazing! Where did you find it?" he said. He went to take hold of it, but Morse stopped him.
"I'm sorry Mr Gately, but we will have to keep hold of it for the time being. It's evidence in a case." explained Morse
"Oh, I see. Well at least I know it's somewhere safe." said Gately.

"When was it taken?" asked Fred
"Well, it was there at seven o'clock this morning, because that dagger there..."
said Gately pointing to another dagger in the cabinet
"...had been taken out to be cleaned and repaired overnight. We try to do jobs like that overnight if we can, so items are always on display during opening hours. Anyway, Edward, one of our staff put the other dagger back into the cabinet at seven o'clock sharp this morning. I was with him. I unlocked it and opened it and then I closed and re locked it afterwards." said Gately

"And who would have been in the building between seven o'clock and eight thirty this morning?" asked Morse
"Me, Edward and Sheila, she's the cleaner. But this room was locked overnight. I had to unlock it to let Edward in." said Gately
"Did you lock it again afterwards?" asked Fred
"No. there was only two hours until we opened. There didn't seem any point" said Gately

"Someone took that dagger between seven o'clock this morning and about twenty past eight at the very latest" said Fred
"Well, I don't know who. I followed Edward back to his locker to get his bag and let him out of the back door and locked the door behind him." said Gately
"And Sheila?" said Morse
"Sheila? Now what's she going to want with a dagger? It wouldn't have been her." said Gately

"Is she here now?" asked Morse
"No, she only works from six until eight o'clock each morning." said Gately
"We'll need her contact details." said Fred
"Yes, of course" said Gately

"What time do the other staff arrive?" asked Fred
"Not until eight thirty." said Gately
"Who has keys to all the doors and cabinets?" asked Fred
"Just me. I get here at the same time as Sheila and open the doors to all the rooms and she cleans them. Oh, if a staff member, like Edward is working overnight, then they have keys to the work area at the back, but any artefacts they are working on are taken in there before I leave and the rest of the building is locked, so they wouldn't have access" explained Gately.

"Were there any signs of a break in at all?" asked Fred
"No. None" answered Gately.
Once he had given Fred and Morse Sheila's address, they left and returned to the station.
As soon as they entered the CID office, a jakes jumped out of his seat.
"Oh thank god for that! You two have been giving me grey hairs! I've been one step behind you both all day, since you left the office earlier!" he said

Fred and Morse just stood and stared at him
"Are you quite alright Sergeant?" asked Morse
"Mr Bright wants to see you both" said Jakes
Morse nodded and they went through to Bright's office.

"Come in" they heard from inside as they knocked
"Ah, Thursday! Morse! Do come in." said Bright
"Sergeant Jakes said you wanted to see us Sir?" said Morse
"Yes, Thursday, I gave you these forms to sign earlier?"
Bright handed the firearms authority forms to him.
"Do you see the problem?" Bright asked Fred

"Well Sir, I did think it a bit unusual that you asked me to sign them, rather than the Inspector..." answered Fred
Bright frowned at Fred and took a deep breath.
"So... which one of you thinks he's the Inspector then? Hmmm?" asked Bright

Morse frowned and spoke up
"With all due respect Sir, what exactly do you mean by that? I don't 'think' I'm the Inspector... I 'know' I'm the Inspector." Morse stated
"Ah. I see" said Bright

Bright, who'd been standing next to his desk until now, took a seat behind it.
"Sit down both of you. I understand you were both in a nasty car accident last night and you were both knocked unconscious?" asked Bright
"Yes Sir" answered Morse
"And you chose not to go to hospital or report it to the station?" said Bright
"No Sir, we went back to my house and treated our injuries and got a good night's rest. We came to the station this morning and filled in the paperwork" explained Morse

"And why didn't you seek medical attention?" asked Bright
"Well Sir, we both felt ok, so I decided that we should both go back to my house and we did get medical attention of sorts. I got the first aid kit out and we patched each other up." said Morse

"And you both stayed the night at your house?" Bright asked Fred
"No, Sir. We both stayed the night at the Inspector's house, as he just explained" said Fred with a frown.

Bright turned to Morse then and asked what he considered to be a rather delicate question,
"And you spent the night in the Inspector's bed with Mrs Thursday?" Bright said with a raised eyebrow.
"Sir? I'm really not sure what you're getting at? Ok, so we had a crash, but we both stayed at my house and took care of each other and have completed all the relevant paperwork. And I'm not rightly sure how me sleeping in the same bed as my wife last night has got anything to do with any of that?" said Morse, who was both confused and annoyed at whatever it was Bright was trying to suggest.

"You've both spoken to Dr Debryn, I understand?" asked Bright
"Yes" replied Morse
"And what did he have to say to you about your current, erm, predicament?" asked Bright
"Our current predicament?..." began Morse
"...I wasn't aware we had a current predicament?" said Morse
"You both think you are each other? After both getting knocked out" said Bright

"Oh! that!" laughed Fred before continuing,
"Yes, Max did have a bit of a joke with us earlier. On account of what happened last time each of us were knocked out! I'm just glad he was joking and it hasn't happened again. Can you imagine the look on your wife's face Sir, if it had of been me she'd woken up next to this morning?" Fred laughed

"I can't imagine she'd have been very impressed lad. And I'd rather you didn't suggest such a thing" frowned Morse
"Sorry Sir" Fred apologised, but he was still smiling, which did cause Morse to chuckle too.
"Blimey, lad. She'd never let us live that down if that had happened!" chuckled Morse

Bright just sat there in amazement as he listened to their conversation. He wasn't sure what to do. He needed help and advice on this. But Dr Debryn had by all accounts already spoken to Fred and Morse and they didn't believe him.
Bright picked up his phone,
"Yes, Sergeant, it's Superintendent Bright. Could you join me in my office please?" said Bright.
A few moments later there was a knock at the door.
"Come in" said Bright
Jakes walked into the office.

"Now..." Bright began, looking at Fred and Morse
"Dr Debryn wasn't joking about you both wrongly believing you are each other." said Bright.
He waited a moment to gauge their reactions.
"You are D.I. Thursday" he said to Fred
Fred just laughed.
"And you, are D.C. Morse" Bright said to Morse

"Sir, with all due respect, I already explained to the doctor! If I really was Morse, I'm pretty sure my Win would have told me so this morning when we woke up in bed together! She mentioned my injuries and asked me what had happened, but she never once said 'you're not my Fred'. Now I get that we both got amnesia before and you're all having a little joke on us... and I can't say I blame you. But I'm inclined to believe my wife in all this. So if you'll excuse us Sir, we have a murder to solve."

Morse stood up and walked towards the door,
"Come on Morse"
Morse left the room, followed by Fred, leaving a stunned Bright and Jakes behind in the Superintendent's office.

Chapter Text

Fred and Morse went back into the CID office and began going through all the evidence they had so far in the murder.
"I can't believe them..." began Morse
"Who?" asked Fred

"Mr Bright, Jakes, Debryn. What if their joke had backfired? What if they really had convinced us we were suffering amnesia? What if you'd gone back to my house tonight and told everyone you were Fred Thursday? Win would have been beside herself!" said Morse
"I'm sure they wouldn't have let the joke run that far Sir" said Fred
"Mmmm, maybe" said Morse

They'd got the full details of the museum cleaner. Shiela Rigby, born 28th March 1930. Living at 76 Pool Lane in the outskirts of Oxford.
"Let's go and pay Sheila a visit then shall we?" said Morse
They both got into their Morris and drove away.

They parked outside Sheila's house and Fred knocked on the door. A woman in her early 30s answered the door. She frowned when she saw them.
"Can I help you?" she said
"I'm D.I. Thursday and this is D.C. Morse, Oxford City Police. We're looking for Sheila Rigby?" said Morse
"That's me. What's happened? Is David alright?" she said

"Can we come in Mrs Rigby?" said Fred
She led them into the lounge. It didn't take them long to see that the murder victim appeared with Sheila in several photographs around the room. Morse picked one up,
"Is this David?" he asked
"Yes, that's my husband" Sheila replied

"We're sorry to have to tell you that he was killed this morning." said Fred
"What? When? Where?" she asked
"By the Bodleian Library" said Fred

"Why would anyone want to murder him?" she said, sitting down in the sofa
Morse frowned,
"Mrs Rigby, we need to ask you a couple of things and before we do, you're not under arrest, but I must caution you that you do not have to say anything, but what you do say may be used in evidence. Do you understand?" asked Morse
"Yes" replied Sheila

"Can you think of anyone who would have wanted to harm him?" asked Morse
"No" Sheila replied
"What time did he go out this morning?" asked Fred
"I don't know, he was still here when I went out at half past five" she said

"And where did you go?" Asked Fred
"To work, at the Ashmolean museum. I'm a cleaner there." Sheila replied
"And what time did you leave there?" asked Fred
"About eight o'clock? Why? You don't think it was me that stabbed him do you?" Sheila asked through her tears.

"Mrs Rigby, we never said anything about him being stabbed?" said Morse
Sheila looked up in shock at that, realising her mistake.
"You did! You said he'd been stabbed!" she insisted
"No, we didn't." confirmed Morse
Sheila just stared at them and they waited patiently for her to speak again.

"Ok, so I've been following him. Each morning when I left work." said Sheila
Fred raised his eyebrows at that,
"Following your husband? What for?" he asked
"Because I thought he was having an affair! And I was bloody right! He's been seeing that tart of a librarian!".
Sheila reached into her pocket and pulled out a small wallet sized photograph.
"I found this in his wallet!" she shouted

Morse looked at the photograph, it was his turn to raise his eyebrows. It was a photo of the victim in an embrace with the librarian who had found the body. They were both smiling at the camera. Morse handed the photo to Fred, who looked equally surprised.

"Did you follow your husband this morning?" asked Morse
"Yes." said Sheila, she continued
"I was so angry! What's she got that I haven't? So when I saw them kissing this morning behind the library, I waited until the tart went back in and I ran up to David and asked him what he was doing. He even had the gall, to deny it. So I stabbed him!" she spat
"With the dagger you stole from the Ashmolean museum?" asked Fred
"Yes" Sheila replied
"Ok Mrs Rigby, now you are under arrest! For the murder of your husband, David Rigby. You're still under caution." said Fred

They led her out to the car and drove her back to the station, where they booked her into custody.
The custody Sergeant frowned for a moment when he saw the signature of the arresting officer 'E. Morse'. He was sure Fred Thursday had made the arrest, but shook his head. He must have been mistaken.

Sheila was interviewed a short time later and she admitted everything in more detail this time. She was charged with her husband's murder.

Fred and Morse worked together and got all the paperwork completed, along with all the paperwork they still had to do from the night before. It was only four o'clock.
"Fantastic!..." began Morse
"...We're going to get off work early!"
He smiled at Fred

"I feel like I need to sleep for a month!" said Fred
They spent ten minutes quickly wrapping Win's birthday presents and writing her cards, before putting them in a bag, so Morse could hide them when he got home.

Fred drove Morse home and when they pulled up outside, Morse spoke,
"Come in for a cuppa lad. I know Win will be happy to see you. She'll still be fretting over our injuries and she'll want to check we're both ok?" said Morse
"Ok, just one cup" said Fred
"And don't forget to arrange to take Joan somewhere for lunch tomorrow!" Morse reminded him.
"I hadn't forgotten Sir. Don't worry" Fred assured him.

They both walked up the path. Morse pulled Fred's keys out of his pocket and let them into the house,
"Home!" called Morse
Win appeared in the hallway.

"Hello you two. How are you both feeling?" she asked. She was sure it was Morse who'd called 'home' when they came in.
"We're feeling much better love, thank you" said Morse as he gave Win a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Fred just stood in the hallway looking slightly out of place.
Win soon realised that their 'problem' hadn't been solved. It would have to be solved before bedtime, or Win would have to ask Morse to sleep on the sofa. That would be hard trying to explain why.

"Why don't you both go through and I'll put the kettle on?" Win asked
Fred and Morse hung up their coats and went through into the lounge, where Joan was already sitting.
"Home already Joanie?" asked Morse
Joan smiled at him with raised eyebrows.
"Joanie? Well, this is a turn up for the books." she said, before realising that Morse still thought he was her father.

Fred spoke up then,
"Erm, Miss Thursday, could I ask you something?" he said
Joan looked at her father and frowned,
"Yes you can... erm, you two haven't swapped back yet then?" she said worriedly, thinking back to that morning.

"Im not sure what you mean Miss Thursday, but I was just wondering...?" said Fred nervously
"Yes?" encouraged Joan
"...If you'd like to go out for something to eat with me tomorrow lunch time?" Fred asked, his blush warming the entire room as he spoke.

Joan just stared wide eyed at her Dad. Her Dad! 'Oh god, my Dad's just asked me out' she thought to herself. Well, going for lunch with her Dad was something they had done before, so it would be fine, she supposed.
"Yes, ok." she said
Fred looked a little startled, but then broke into a smile.
"Great, I'll pick you up at eleven thirty." he said

Morse sat there smiling to himself. Joan excused herself and crept into the kitchen.
"Mum! Did you hear that?" she whispered
"No love, what?" said Win
"Dad! He just asked me out!" said Joan
"What do you mean, asked you out?" said Win with a frown
"He just asked me if he could take me out to lunch tomorrow! as in on a date!" said Joan

Win stared at Joan in shock, before a smile crept across her face and she started to chuckle. She couldn't help it.
"Mum! It's not funny! What if he tries to kiss me or something! You've got to tell him he can't take me out!" said Joan
"I'm not telling him that! I've got my own problems to deal with!" said Win

"Why what sort of problems?" asked Joan
"Well, the sort of problem where Morse thinks I'm his wife!" said Win crossing her arms.
"Mum, what are we going to do?" said Joan
Win was worried of course, but after experiencing all the previous times this sort of thing had happened, she was more inclined to just relax this time and let it run its course. She'd just cross each little bridge as she got to it.

Back in the lounge, Morse was speaking to Fred
"Ok, so you're picking Joan up at eleven thirty. Can you keep her out until at least two o'clock lad?" he asked
"Erm, ok I'll try" answered Fred

"I don't want you two coming back and spoiling Win opening her present!" Morse winked at Fred
"Sir! Really! If you wink at me one more time, I'll..." Fred began
"You'll what love?" asked Win, coming into the room with a pot of tea.
"And why is he winking at you anyway?" she asked
"Erm... no reason" said Fred quickly

Back at the Police station, Bright, Jakes and Max Debryn we're all in Bright's office.
"This is quite the predicament." said Bright
"You can say that again Sir" exclaimed Jakes

"I'm rather at a loss to be honest..." began Max
"...The first two times, both Morse and the Inspector got a second bang to the head which seemed to 'right everything'. The second time, they went to sleep and woke up with their memories of who they were restored. Both times with little recollection of what they'd done. Then when Mrs Thursday suffered the same fate, she had her memory restored by looking round her house at her belongings and got her memory back, but also retained the entire memory of everything she'd done since being knocked unconscious." Max recalled.

"Well we can't go knocking them over the head again" said Jakes
"Quite. Maybe we should just let them sleep on it tonight and see what the morning brings?" suggested Bright
"Well, that could be a problem Sir" said Jakes
"Oh?" said Bright

"Well, yes. On account of Morse having already slept in the same bed as Mrs Thursday last night and I'm not sure she'd go for it two nights on the trot Sir" said Jakes
"Not sure she'd go for it?..." exclaimed Bright with a frown
"...really Sergeant, have a little more decorum, please?"
"Sorry Sir, I just meant that..." began Jakes
"Yes, yes, we know what you meant" answered Bright

"So... what are we going to do?" asked Bright
It was Max who answered,
"Well, I think that we should speak to Mrs Thursday, see what she'd like to do. If she can handle things tonight, and convince Morse to sleep elsewhere in the house, we could visit in the morning as you suggested. Or failing that, we may need to visit her tonight and see if we can convince them of who they really are." said Max

"Good idea. Will you ring her and have a chat Doctor? You may be able to offer her some advice?" asked Bright
"Well, pathologists aren't normally known for their outstanding amnesia advice, but I'll give her a tinkle and see what's what." said Max

Chapter Text

Back at the Thursday house, Win was trying to juggle everything. A husband who thought he was a bagman, a bagman, who thought he was her husband and two children who thought the whole thing was hilarious.

Fred and Morse were sitting in the dining room having a drink and discussing work and Win, Joan and Sam were all sitting in the lounge.
"Sam! It's not funny!" scolded Win
"How can you say Dad asking Joan out on a date is not funny! It is SO funny!" laughed Sam

"Well, I'm glad you think so young man. A what about your poor father! Not knowing he's married to me?" asked Win
"Dad doesn't seem to be upset by any of this. I wonder if he'll even remember it when he gets his memory back to normal?" mused Sam

Win thought about that. All the times they'd had amnesia previously, they'd remembered very little. Unlike when she'd got her memory back and she remembered everything she'd done.
Win hoped Morse wouldn't remember sharing a bed with her. He'd be mortified if he did, even though he'd just fallen asleep next to her.

"Anyway..." began Joan
"...where are Dad and Morse going to sleep tonight? Dad's not going to want to sleep in your room, because he thinks he's Morse and if you tell Morse he can't sleep in your room, he'll get upset, because he thinks you're married!"
"I know dear, I don't know what to do." said Win

"Well Joan, maybe you and Mum should just swap places tonight?" Sam suggested as he burst out laughing
"Sam Thursday! You stop that this minute!" scolded Win
Joan was wide eyed and started to giggle.
"Now there's an idea!" Joan teased
"Joan! You and your brother are as bad as one another! Behave! The pair of you!" said Win, but she couldn't help a chuckle of her own.

Just then, the phone rang, Win went and answered it,
"Hello? Thursday residence" she said
"Hello Mrs Thursday, it's Max Debryn here. How are you?" he asked
"We'll, I'm fine, but that's more than I can say for Fred and Morse! Morse is going to want to go to bed in a while and I just don't know what to do? Should I tell him to sleep downstairs? I don't want to upset him?" she asked.
"Would you like me to come over? I'm with Mr Bright and Peter Jakes at the station at the moment." asked Max

"Well, I don't want to put you to any trouble Max, but maybe that would be a good idea under the circumstances?" said Win
"Its no trouble. I'll be there within half an hour" said Max
"Thank you" replied Win as she hung up

"Dr Debryn is coming over" Win explained to Sam and Joan
"What can he do? Does he have any suggestions?" asked Joan
"I'm not really sure love. Probably more for moral support and persuasion?" said Win

In the dining room, Fred and Morse finished their drinks.
"I should get going" said Fred
"Don't feel you have to lad, you're welcome to stay another night? I'm just sorry we've only got the sofa to offer you" said Morse
"Thank you, but no. I need my own bed" answered Fred
"Well, keep the Morris tonight. You can pick Joan up in it tomorrow. Then drop it off while you're out." suggested Morse
"Ok Sir, thank you." said Fred

Fred then went into the lounge,
"I'm going home then. I'll see you in the morning Joan. Eleven thirty?" said Fred
"You don't have to leave love." said Win
Win didn't really want Fred going anywhere until Dr Debryn got there, but she didn't want to bring that up again, because as far as Fred and Morse were concerned, everyone telling them that they were each other was becoming one over used and very old, practice joke.

"I really need to sleep in my own bed tonight Mrs Thursday. Much as I love your sofa, it's not doing my back any favours and I want to be agile and sprightly for my date with your daughter tomorrow, not old and decrepit!" He winked at Joan.

Joan stared at her Dad in shock. Her Dad actually winked at her! It appeared that this amnesia was having more of an effect on them than just a simple mind swap! It seemed her Dad was more a version of Morse and her Dad rolled into one!

"So, I'll see you at eleven thirty in the morning Miss Thursday. Good night all" said Fred.
Morse wished Fred good night and showed him out of the door.

Fred drove over to Morse's flat and let himself in. He smiled to himself. He couldn't believe he'd asked Joan Thursday out and she'd said yes!
He put one of his favourite records on and sat on the sofa, listening to the waves of notes wash over him. When the record finished, he went to bed. He couldn't turn up tired tomorrow. What would Joan think of him, if he yawned his way through their first date!

After seeing Fred off, Morse went back into the lounge and sat down on the sofa next to Win.
They all sat there for a few minutes. All of them suddenly thinking how odd it had become, now that Fred had left the house. All of them except Morse, that is, who was happily sitting there with what he thought was his family.

Morse picked up Fred's pipe from the side and began to turn it over in his hands. He got the packet of tobacco and began to pack it into the pipe.
Win, Joan and Sam all watched him with amusement. They knew Morse didn't smoke and were amazed that he actually seemed to know what he was doing with Fred's pipe.

After a couple of minutes, pipe lit, matches cast aside, Morse leaned back in his seat with a happy sigh and took a long puff on the pipe.
Then proceeded to have an almighty coughing fit.

Win started to rub his back and took the pipe from him, handing it to Joan.
"I'm sorry love, it's never had that effect on me before?" said Morse with a frown. He waited a minute for his coughing to subside before he spoke,
"Let me try it again" he said, holding his hand out to Joan

"I think you'd best leave it dear. We don't want you coughing all through my birthday tomorrow, do we?" said Win
Morse nodded,
"Maybe you're right, I don't want to spoil your birthday love" said Morse, leaning over and giving Win a kiss on the cheek.
Joan let out a giggle.
"Oh come on Joan! Never seen me kiss your Mum before?" said Morse with a grin, before turning to Win and asking,

"You got anything planned tomorrow lunch time love?" he asked her
"No dear. Why?" said Win
"Oh, I just thought, being as Sam's going to be out all day and Joan is going on her date with Morse, it will just be the two of us..." said Morse
"Ok...?" said Win, a little warily
"...So I thought I cook lunch for us both!" Morse put his arm round Win and smiled at her.

Win was a bit taken aback. She loved having Morse over for lunch or dinner. She always said he needed feeding up. But this would be different... Morse seemed to be planning a romantic birthday lunch for her!

"Oh Mum! That will be lovely! Looks like we're both getting lunch dates tomorrow!" grinned Joan
Win gave a little glare to Joan, out of sight of Morse before speaking,
"Yes! And speaking of lunch dates... You'd better go and pick out something nice to wear for yours!" said Win with a smile

Sam just sat there amused by the whole conversation and Morse sat there smiling and oblivious to the situation he and Fred were in.
When Win actually thought about it, she was quite looking forward to having lunch cooked for her tomorrow. She just wished Fred could be there as well.
Win went upstairs to speak to Joan a short time later.
"Joan love?"
"Yes Mum?"

"I've been thinking. About tomorrow." began Win
"Oh yes?" said Joan
"Well, I know Sam's not going to be here, but I thought, maybe you and your Dad could join Morse and me for lunch? I'm sure he wouldn't mind cooking a bit extra and I could give him a hand?" suggested Win

Joan laughed at that.
"Oh Mum! Are you worried about being alone with Morse?" she chuckled
"Joan! No, nothing like that. It would just be nice if you and Dad were there too." said Win

"Well, I have a feeling that Morse might have asked Dad to take me to lunch, specifically so you and him could be alone." said Joan
"He what?" said Win with wide eyes
"Mmmm, I overheard Dad and Morse talking earlier. Morse told Dad to remember not to bring me back home before two o'clock, so you and him would have enough time together!" Joan was laughing now.
"Time together for what?" Win practically squeaked
"How should I know Mum? They haven't told me anything. I only got that bit of info because I accidentally overheard it." said Joan.

Win looked at Joan with a slight frown
"Whatever Morse has got planned for you, I'm sure it will be lovely. Him and Dad are both romantic at heart" said Joan
"Yes dear, but it's one thing me being romantic with your Dad. It's quite another being romantic with Morse!" said Win

Just then two things happened at once, there was a large crash from the kitchen and the doorbell rang.
Win and Joan ran down the stairs to see Sam running out of the kitchen covered in blood.
"Oh my god Sam!" shouted Joan
Win opened the front door on the way past and Dr Debryn was greeted with a scene full of mayhem. He quickly ran up to Sam.

"Are you ok Sam? What happened?" Max asked
"It's not my blood! It's Morse's!" Sam said in a panic
Max ran into the kitchen to find Morse lying unconscious on the floor. He was bleeding rather badly from a cut to his head.

"What happened Sam?" said Win
"He was looking for that saucepan. You know that big old thing we keep on top of the cupboard. He climbed up to grab it and slipped and fell down and the saucepan landed on his head. I tried to stop the bleeding! Oh god, is he going to be alright?" asked Sam worriedly

Max carefully examined Morse and found no other obvious injuries.
As Max was tending to Morse, he noticed Morse's eyes slowly opening.
"What happened? Where am I?" Morse croaked
"You're alright, just had a bit of a bang in the head. Take it easy there, don't try to sit up too quickly." advised Max

Max then turned to Win and Joan,
"I'm going to patch him up and then I'll drive him to hospital. Could someone ring the station? Peter Jakes should still be there. Just to let them know?"
Joan ran into the hall and make the call. Jakes was still at the station and agreed to meet them at the hospital.

"Sir!" Jakes shouted to Mr Bright, who was just getting in his own car.
"It's Morse Sir, banged his head again, bleeding quite a bit. Max Debryn is patching him up, then he's going to drive them over to the hospital." Jakes explained
Bright looked up with a look of disbelief on his face,
"Oh dear Lord! Whatever next? Anyone would think we were part of a television show with someone writing ridiculous scripts for us all!" he exclaimed.

Back at the Thursday house, Morse was clearly dazed and confused.
"Where am I? This looks like your kitchen Mrs Thursday?" said Morse
Win knelt down next to him with a smile,
"It is our kitchen love. You were trying to get a saucepan from the top of the cupboard, when you slipped and fell." explained Win
"Getting a saucepan down?" Morse frowned
"Yes love" said Win

Morse's eyes grew wide then,
"I was getting a saucepan ready to cook lunch for your birthday tomorrow!"
Win could tell that Morse was slowly remembering everything that had happened to him over the last day.
The blush that steadily rose up Morse's cheeks was a sight to behold.
"Oh no, no, no, no" said Morse, looking away from Win.

Max spoke up then,
"Morse."
"Morse?" Max repeated
"Yes?" said Morse, still looking anywhere except in Win's direction
"We need to get you to hospital" said Max
"I'm fine. Can't you treat me?" asked Morse
"Not here. You're going to need stitches in that cut. Whether I treat you or a doctor in A & E, you still need to go to hospital" said Max

Morse frowned and looked around,
"Where's Inspector Thursday?" he asked
"At your flat" replied Win, before elaborating,
"He wanted to get a good nights sleep before his date with Joan tomorrow" Win smiled.

Morse looked at Win this time, with wide eyes.
"Oh yes! Oh no! Inspector Thursday's taking Miss Thursday on a date! That's my fault, I think" he mused

"Your fault?" said Joan
"Well, yes. I thought he was me and I sort of accused him of not recognising a hint from you if it slapped him in the face and I asked him when he was going to ask you out."
Morse was blushing even more now.

"Well Morse, it worked, but I imagine at this rate, we're both going to be free tomorrow lunch time... if there's anything you want to ask me?" said Joan, raising her eyebrows
Max interrupted then,
"Much as I hate to chase the cupids away, I really do need to get Morse to hospital."

"As soon as he's asked me." said Joan, still looking pointedly at Morse
Morse was a blushing deer in the headlights and Max turned to him,
"Morse, will you please just ask Joan out to lunch before you lose anymore blood!"

"Erm, yes, of course. Miss Thursday? ...Would you like to go to lunch with me tomorrow?" asked Morse
"Yes! Oh Morse I'd love to!" said Joan with a grin
"Thank heavens for that!" exclaimed Max, before adding,
"Now, let's get you into the car!"

Chapter Text

They helped Morse out to Max's car. They decided that Win would go with them and Joan And Sam would wait at home. As Win had said,
"Someone should be here, incase Fred gets his memory back and comes home while we're out."

Jakes and Bright were waiting at the hospital when Max, Win and Morse arrived.
They were both very taken aback when they saw Morse, as he was covered in blood.

"Don't worry gentlemen..." Max assured them
"...head injuries always bleed like there's no tomorrow. He'll be fine. We just need to get a couple of stitches into him."
"Can you do it Max? Please?" said Morse as they walked towards the hospital building.

Max took pity on Morse then. It seemed he always much preferred to be treated by Max than anyone else, despite his expertise being in a somewhat different area of the hospital.
"If you insist my dear chap. But you do realise that if I agree to treat you... you must also agree to follow what ever aftercare instructions I give you?" said Max with a pointed stare at Morse

Morse looked away, but when he looked back, Max hadn't moved and he was still staring at him.
"Ok" said Morse
"That's the spirit, come along then, let's practice my sewing skills on you." said Max cheerily, leading their little group down into the mortuary.

"Is this normal?" Bright whispered to Jakes as they follows along
"What? Morse getting patched up by the pathologist?" asked Jakes
"Well, yes!" said Bright with a bemused look
"Don't worry Sir. It's very normal." smiled Jakes as Bright raised an eyebrow.

It didn't take Max too long to patch Morse up. He needed three stitches in the end. Max then gave him his instructions,
"Now, you're going to need rest... proper rest that involves a good night's sleep with someone to check up on you at regular intervals and unless you're going to agree to spend the night in a bed on the observation ward upstairs tonight, we need to find to find you somewhere to sleep." Max explained

"I can go back to my flat." said Morse
"No, you can't. Because Inspector Thursday is sleeping there... remember?" said Max
"Oh" said Morse
"He can come home to ours." said Win

"And sleep where?" said Max
"We'll sort something out, don't worry. I'll speak to Sam. I'm sure he won't mind one night on the sofa under the circumstances and Morse, you can sleep in Sam's room" she said

"What about Inspector Thursday?..." began Morse
"...I can't just go and spend the night at his house when he still thinks he's me and is all alone right now!" he said.

"Morse, the Inspector is likely fast asleep in your bed by now. I think it will be far better to leave him be to get a good nights rest and speak to him in the morning when he goes home." said Max

Morse didn't look convinced, but nodded. Even if he went to his flat, if Fred didn't answer the door, Morse wouldn't be able to get in, because he'd given his flat keys to Fred last night and Fred still had Morse's spare key too.
"Alright, but can we drive past my flat anyway? We could just see if there's a light on. If there is, I want to knock on the door and check he's ok." said Morse

"Ok, but remember, as far as he's concerned he's still you. And your still his Inspector." warned Max
Max drove Morse and Win to Morse's flat. Bright and Jakes followed behind. Many months of experience with these 'amnesia incidents' had taught them not to take anything for granted.

There weren't any lights on in the flat.
"It would appear that the Inspector is asleep" said Max
"How did he get back here?" asked Jakes
"I, erm, told him to keep the Morris. He's erm ...taking Joan out to lunch and I said he could keep it to pick Joan up in it tomorrow, then drop it off at the station" said Morse a little sheepishly as Bright was standing right next to him and using a Police car to take the Inspector's daughter on a date, wasn't exactly proper use of said Police car.
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that, shall I?" asked Bright with an amused look
"Yes, thank you. Sir" answered Morse

Jakes was grinning as he spoke,
"Did you just say that the Inspector is taking his own daughter out on a date!?"
He was laughing now, finding the whole thing hilarious.
"Sergeant! This is no laughing matter!" said Bright, but even he was struggling to keep a straight face on this occasion.

Max then spoke up,
"Morse, I really would suggest that you don't disturb the Inspector. He would just be confused as to why you were visiting his flat at this time of night. It wouldn't really serve any purpose."
"Mmmm, I suppose you're right" answered Morse

So, Jakes and Bright got back into their car and left to go back to the station and book off duty.
Before Max, Win and Morse had chance to follow, the lights in Morse's flat came on and the front door opened.
A somewhat bleary eyed Fred stood in the doorway. He was only wearing his vest and pants. Presumably because none of Morse's pyjamas would have fitted him.

"What's going on? Why are you all outside my flat?" he asked
"Erm, we were just passing..." began Morse
"Just passing? You were at home when I left? How can you be just passing?" asked Fred

Fred looked at Morse more closely then,
"What happened to you? I know you were covered in cuts and bruises when I left earlier, but that one's new!" said Fred pointing to the new cut on Morse's head.
"Mmmm, yes, I fell and banged my head." said Morse
"How?" asked Fred

Win answered him
"He was trying to get a big saucepan down off the cupboard and he fell and the saucepan hit him over the head and knocked him out. He's had to go to the hospital and have stitches!" explained Win
"You got hit over the head by a saucepan?" asked Fred
"Mmmmm" said Morse

"Do you want to come in?" asked Fred
"Erm, probably best we don't, it's late, I just wanted to make sure you were ok?" said Morse
"I'm fine..." said Fred "It looks like you're the one who needs someone keeping an eye on him! Sir!" chuckled Fred
Morse just stared at Fred before letting a small smile creep across his face.

"Well, I'm going back to bed. I'll see you in the morning? About half eleven?" said Fred
Morse nodded and Win spoke up then,
"Why don't you come over earlier love? I'll make you a bit of breakfast?"
"You don't have to Mrs Thursday, but... alright, thank you. I will" Fred nodded with a smile. He had noticed that there was very little food in his flat. He really needed to go shopping.

Win, Morse and Max said their goodbyes to Fred and got back in the car and drove away.
Fred smiled and shook his head. His Inspector was always worrying about him. It was nice though, in a way, to have people caring about him. He went back to bed and slept rather well that night.

When they were back in the Thursday house, Win noticed that Morse had gone into the dining room on his own while everyone else was in the lounge.
Win went in and sat next to him.

"Morse?" began Win
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry Mrs Thursday!" said Morse
"What's the matter love?" she asked
"What's the matter? I slept in your bed with you and you're asking me what's the matter?!" said Morse frantically
"Oh Morse, you don't need to worry about that dear" said Win
"What? Not worry? In what situation is it ok for me to sleep with my bosses wife?" exclaimed Morse

"Morse love, listen. You'd had a bang on the head. You genuinely thought you were my husband. Besides, you just got into bed and fell asleep. It's not like you attacked me or anything!" said Win
Morse looked at Win skeptically. She really didn't seem angry or upset by it.

"I must have scared you?" he said
"No, of course you didn't! I know you Morse and I trust you. You've got nothing to be sorry for or to worry about, so stop apologising and stop worrying!" said Win
She stood up and took him by his arm and lead him into the lounge.

"Morse! Welcome back!" said Sam
"Hello Sam" said Morse with a sheepish smile
"So, You're not married to my Mum anymore then?" asked Sam with a cheeky grin
"Erm, no" said Morse, rubbing the back of his neck and blushing

"Wow... so it's Joan's lucky weekend then!" said Sam
"What do you mean?" asked Morse
"Well, now she's got two Morses and they're both taking her out on a date tomorrow!" Sam laughed.
"Sam! shut up!" said Joan, blushing.

"So Morse?" added Sam
"Yes?" asked Morse
"Are you still going to cook that romantic lunch for Mum tomorrow? Or are you taking Joan out? Because you've kind of double booked yourself!"
Sam was laughing hard now.
"Sam Thursday! You are terrible! Leave Morse alone!" scolded Win, but she did give a small chuckle towards Morse, who was also beginning to see the funny side of the situation.

"Morse?" asked Joan with a cheeky smile
"Yes?" asked Morse warily
"Well, I was just wondering... where you're going to be sleeping tonight?"
Morse looked at Joan and a blush crept up his cheeks.

"I mean, now you've asked me out, you can hardly sleep in with Mum tonight can you?" she smirked
"I wasn't planning to!" Morse replied, looking briefly at Win
"Joan! leave him alone! and Sam?" Win asked
"Yes Mum?"
"Would you mind sleeping on the sofa just for tonight? Morse needs proper bed rest. Doctor's orders." explained Win

"Course not...." began Sam before adding,
"...but I still think my earlier idea was the best one! Mum and Joan should just swap places!". Sam let out a hearty laugh.

"Sam!" Joan and Win both shouted simultaneously.
Morse looked just like a deer in the headlights and was looking between Joan and Win for one of them to say something, but Joan and Win were both laughing too now.
Win's efforts at trying to tell Sam off, had unintentionally ended up with her in a fit of giggles instead.

They all went to bed a short time later. Win and Joan in their own beds, Morse in Sam's room and Sam on the sofa.

Chapter Text

Win was up first the next morning as always. A habit she had formed after years of getting up early to make sure her family were well fed before facing the day.
She peered briefly into the lounge. Sam was still fast asleep and probably would be for another couple of hours. He liked his weekend lie-ins.

Joan was just getting up and she'd wandered out of her room into the landing and bumped straight into Morse.
"Good morning!" she beamed
"Good erm, morning Miss Thursday" said Morse, trying to look anywhere except at Joan in her nightie.

Joan giggled at that and put her hand on his arm,
"Don't be so shy! At least I'm wearing a nightie, and I'm not standing in front of you in just my vest and pants!"
Morse looked down at what he was wearing and began to blush.

"Oh, sorry, erm, I was just... I... all my clothes and pyjamas are at my flat." he finished with a sheepish look.
"You should have said! We could have lent you some, I never even thought!"
Joan patted Morse on the cheek and before he knew it, she'd ducked past him and got into the bathroom first.
Morse shook his head and smiled to himself.

"I hope you're going to put more clothes on when you come down for breakfast dear?" said Win
Morse spun round to find Win standing behind him on the landing. How did these Thursday women manage to pop up at the most awkward times?
"Yes Mrs Thursday..." said Morse, before adding,
"...Happy Birthday!" as he darted back into Sam's room.
"Thank you dear!"
Win chuckled to herself, that boy was so easily embarrassed.

When he was dressed, he came downstairs and found Joan in the kitchen.
"Miss Thursday?..." he began
Joan turned around and folded her arms and replied
"You finally asked me out last night and you're still calling me Miss Thursday? Come on Morse! It's Joan!" she gave him a pointed look that allowed no argument on his part.
"Ok, Joan" he said with a smile

"That's better. Now what we're you going to say?" asked Joan
"Well, it's just... your father. If he still thinks he's me when he gets here, it's going to be awkward for me to take you out for lunch. If we try to convince him he's your Dad, then he'll get upset or annoyed and it could spoil your Mum's birthday." said Morse

"Do you think he would get upset or annoyed then? You don't think we could convince him?" she asked
"All I know is that all day yesterday, people were trying to convince the two of us that we'd got amnesia and thought we were each other. We were both adamant they were pulling our legs and to be honest, by the end of the day, it was all wearing a bit thin. I think if anyone else had tried to suggest it, we'd have both got rather angry." explained Morse

"So are you suggesting I let my Dad take me out then?" asked Joan
"I think it might be for the best, for now. I'll still take you out though! As soon as your Dad is himself again, we can go out somewhere together." Morse assured her.
"Ok, I'll hold you to that though!" she said and she leaned up and gave Morse a kiss on the cheek.

Morse was blushing furiously and Win called out as she walked past,
"Don't let your Dad see you kissing Morse dear!"
"Mum!" said Joan, now beginning to blush herself

It was about an hour later when Fred turned up at the Thursday house. Win opened the door to him.
"Hello love, come on in." she looked for any signs that he might be back to being Fred, but his next comment answered that question.
"Hello Mrs Thursday. Happy Birthday!"

Morse came into the hall then,
"Hello Sir....erm..." he began, glancing at Win, who shook her head.
"Hello Morse, how did you sleep?" Morse finished

"Like a log Sir" answered Fred, before adding,
"My shirts had shrunk in the wash though! I tried two on this morning and tore the seams on both of them! Bloody nuisance! I'll have to get some new ones now! So, sorry that I'm wearing yesterdays shirt. It was either that, or take Joan out on a date, shirtless" grumbled Fred

Morse frowned slightly at the news that Fred had torn two of his shirts trying to get them on, but the funny side of it won through. He didn't have the heart to laugh about it at that moment though, as Fred just wouldn't understand.

They went into the dining room and sat down. Win came in and sat down with them.
"Joan's insisted on cooking breakfast today! won't let me lift a finger!" explained Win
Joan came into the room just then, with a pot of tea and placed it on the table.
"I can't believe my lump of a brother is still asleep! I want to go into the lounge!" she grumbled
Fred frowned "Why's Sam sleeping in the lounge?" he asked

Joan realised what she'd said, but Morse spoke up for her,
"I needed complete bed rest, Doctor's orders, so we thought it best if I slept on my own, just in case..." he quickly tried to think of what it was just in case of.
"...Just in case I accidentally rolled over in the night and hit him on the head" added Win

Fred frowned
"Do you often roll over and hit the Inspector on the head in the night then, Mrs Thursday?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
Joan giggled at that.

"Well, you'd better wake Sam up, he's going out in a bit, isn't he?" said Win
Joan nodded and left the room. A few moments later, they heard Sam's voice coming from the lounge,
"Aaahhhhhhh No! Aaaahhhhh! Mum! Help! Get off me! Joan! Stop it!"
"Sounds like Sam's awake then!" said Win with a chuckle.

Joan gave her Mum her card and present then, after she'd brought the breakfast in.
She given her Mum a new pair of gloves and a brooch, she'd been thinking of getting.
"Ooh, I was going to buy that the other day! You talked me out of it! Now I know why!" she grinned
"Thank you Joan!" said Win as she gave her a hug

Sam managed to get up and dressed just in time to meet his friends.
But before he went, he came into the dining room and handed Win a card and present.
It was a scarf she'd seen a few weeks previously and mentioned that she loved and Sam had saved up and bought it for her.
"Oh, Sam, that's lovely dear, thank you" she smiled at him and gave him a big hug.
"Well, I've got to get going now, so bye!" he shouted as he left, adding with a chuckle,
"Enjoy your dates!"

Fred pulled Morse to one side
"Have you got my card and present for Mrs Thursday Sir?" he asked
"I'll just get it, hang on" said Morse before nipping up the stairs.
He came back down a short time later and handed the bag to Fred. He'd been tempted to swap the presents, so that Fred gave Win the nightie, but he doubted Fred would see the funny side of it.

Just then, Win came out into the hall and Fred pulled the card and present out of the bag and handed it to Win,
"Happy birthday Mrs Thursday" he said
"Oh thank you love" she replied
She opened it and grinned
"Oooh, these are my favourites! And they're not cheap either! You shouldn't have!" she said, before giving Fred a big hug, making him blush and making Morse chuckle.

It was about half past eleven when Fred spoke up and turned to Joan,
"Well, we better get going. I've booked us a table for twelve o'clock."
"Booked us a table? Oooh! Where?" she asked
"You'll have to wait and see!" said Fred with a wink
Morse was chuckling again now at the sight of Joan's blush when her Dad winked at her.

Fred and Joan left a short time later.
They said bye to Win and Morse.
Then (just to get Morse back) Fred winked and whispered to him,
"I hope Mrs Thursday enjoys your present!"
He then walked Joan down to the car and they drove away.

Morse just stood there wide eyed and blushing. He had been trying not to think about the present that he had bought Win.
Win looked across at him then with a mischievous smile and a raised eyebrow as she spoke,
"So you've got me a present then Morse?" she said
"Erm, yes. But I thought you were my wife when I bought it for you... it might not be appropriate for me to give it to you now..."

He was fretting and Win took pity on him. Not to worry, love. I understand"
Morse smiled gratefully at her, until she added,
"Maybe after we have lunch hey?"
She burst out laughing this time as Morse went bright red and rushed back into the house.

Fred had booked him and Joan a table at a lovely little restaurant on the outskirts of the town. Joan had never been there before and the food was wonderful.
Fred was the perfect gentleman.
"I'm sorry it took me so long to ask you out." he said with a sheepish look.
"Mmmm" answered Joan with a smile.

"I guess I was worried. About your Father." he added
"Oh? worried how?" asked Joan
"Oh, I don't know. But, getting together with the bosses daughter?..." he trailed off
"Maybe you're overthinking things?" suggested Joan
"Mmmm, maybe I am" smiled Fred

They left the restaurant at about one o'clock. Fred was looking at his watch with a frown.
"We're not far from the river here. Would you like to go for a walk?" he asked
"I'd love to." replied Joan, before adding,
"And don't worry. I overheard your conversation about keeping me out until two o'clock! Fred looked surprised at that.

"Miss Thursday! I do actually want to go for a walk with you! I'm not suggesting it just because your Father told me not to come back yet!" said Fred
"I know that, silly!" Joan reassured him.
Fred relaxed then and they set off towards the river

Back at home, Win could see the look of worry on Morse's face as he walked into the kitchen.
"Is everything alright dear?" she asked
"Well, yes and no" he replied
"Oh?" Win prompted

"Well, I know I promised to cook you a lovely birthday lunch, but it turns out, that now I'm myself again... I'm not actually a very good cook..."
Morse looked positively dejected
"I'm sorry Mrs Thursday, I didn't want to spoil your birthday" he added

"Don't be silly dear. Look, we've got plenty in to make something nice, so how about I help you? I can give you some pointers and you never know, you might learn a thing or two! You'll be able to make Joan a nice meal then. When she gives Fred back to me and gets together with you!"
Win chuckled,
"Sorry, I shouldn't laugh dear, but after all the times this has happened, if I didn't laugh, I'd cry or go crazy." added Win
Morse smiled then and gave Win a hug.

Between them, they conjured up a wonderful meal and went to sit down in the dining room to eat.
It was then they noticed... there were two candle sticks on the table with candles and a box of matches and a little vase of flowers in between, with a note,
'Enjoy your romantic meal! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!
Love Joan'

They both stared at it, then burst out laughing.
"I'm going to have words with that girl when she gets home!" said Win
"You and me both!" added Morse

Chapter Text

Fred and Joan walked along the riverbank for a while. It was lovely. Joan made herself a promise, that when her Dad was himself again, she would suggest they did this in the future, but as father and daughter.

They came to a bench and sat down. They watched the ducks swimming along and enjoyed the welcome breeze that broke up the heat of the sun.
After a few minutes, Joan noticed her Dad move and put his arm around her.

She wasn't sure what to do. Her Dad had put his arm around her hundreds of times over the years, so she really shouldn't be so on edge. But this was different. This was, to all intents and purposes, Morse, not her Dad.
But it was her Dad and Joan was, to be honest, getting a bit nervous.

She glanced at her Dad, only to find him looking directly at her, with a look that he normally saved for her Mum!
'Think Joan, think. Do something!' Joan thought to herself.

Fred began to stroke Joan's hair as he spoke,
"Are you alright? You look a bit on edge?" he asked
"Yes, I'm fine" she replied with a smile.
Fred then started to lean towards her and Joan jumped to her feet.

Fred, was a little startled at her sudden movement.
"What's wrong? I'm not going to bite you!" said Fred
"Nothing's wrong. But maybe we should be going, you've got to get the car back to the station and we'll need to get a bus back home." said Joan

Fred looked at his watch,
"I suppose you're right. It's just so lovely here. It's a shame we can't stay here all afternoon." he said with a small sigh.
But he stood up and took Joan's hand in his and they walked back along the river to the restaurant, where they got into the car and made their way to the Police station.

Back home, Win and Morse were both enjoying the chance to relax. Win didn't often get a chance to just sit and do nothing and Morse didn't either and he was still under doctor's orders to do just that.
When it was clear Morse was not taking no for an answer, Win had acquiesced and allowed him to help her clear everything away and do the washing up.
They both now sat in the lounge with a cup of tea and a piece of cake.

"What do you suppose Joan and Fred are getting up to?" Win mused
"Well, I expect they've had a lovely meal." said Morse
"I hope Fred hasn't tried to kiss Joan!..." Win chuckled and added
"...Joan wouldn't know where to put herself!"

Morse looked wide eyed at Win,
"I'm not sure Joan would be chuckling if he did" said Morse
"No, I'm sure she wouldn't, but she's done her fair share of chuckling at the thought of you sharing a bed with me and cooking me a romantic lunch, I can tell you!" said Win

As Morse took another sip of his tea, Win spoke up again,
"So, Morse?"
"Mmmm?" replied Morse
"That present you bought me?" she said with a grin
" Erm, I, it's just that.... erm, I'd rather wait until Inspector Thursday gets home." said Morse with a blush

"Well, I'm really curious now, if what you've bought me is making you blush every time it's mentioned!" said Win
"Mmmm" replied Morse
"Ok, we can wait" said Win, patting Morse on the arm. she was enjoying the joke, but really didn't want to make Morse feel too uncomfortable.

Fred and Joan got to the Police station a short time later and parked the car in the car park.
"I'll just pop these keys into the CID office, I won't be long." said Fred
"I'll come with you" said Joan

There was only Jakes in there when they arrived.
"Wotcha! How are you both then?" he said
"We're very well thank you Peter, we've just had a lovely lunch and a walk along the river" said Joan with a smile

It didn't go unnoticed by Jakes that as Joan told him about their date, Fred took hold of Joan's hand.
"Right. Good. So what are you doing here then? I wouldn't have thought a trip to the local CID office was the best way to end a romantic date?" said Jakes with a smirk
"Dropping the car keys off" said Fred
Jakes nodded,
"Well, you'd best put them in Thursday's desk drawer in his office then."

Fred walked off into his office with Joan. She was going to take the opportunity to have a quick word with Peter, but Fred evidently saw him as 'competition' so he kept hold of Joan's hand and lead her into the office with him.
Jakes just chuckled. This was definitely something he wouldn't let the gaffer live down, no matter how much he got a roasting for it.

As Fred sat at his desk, he opened the drawer and dropped the car keys in. He was about to close the drawer when he spotted a photograph. He pulled it out and stared at it.
A frown began to form over his face and and Joan walked over to see what he was looking at.
It was a photo of Fred and Win dancing.

Joan thought for a moment, that he was remembering that moment as he gazed at the photo now with a broad smile.
"Awwe, that's lovely! You're parents look so in love!" he said
Joan realised with disappointment, that this was not his memory returning after all. He didn't seem to realise that he was the man in the photo.

Jakes came into the office then,
"Well, I'm just about finished here, so would you two love birds like a lift home?" he asked, grinning at Joan, with her glaring at him in return.
"That's a good idea, yes please" answered Fred
"Ok, as long as you promise not to get up to anything in the backseat on the way" chuckled Jakes, earning him a glare from Fred this time.

As they went to leave the office, Fred stopped dead in his tracks and looked around the office with a frown.
"This all seems... familiar" he said thoughtfully.
"Yeah, well. You work here. It's familiar to me too!" said Jakes
"No. It's more than that... it's like... I know this is going to sound odd, but this feels familiar, like it's my office!" said Fred

"It is your office" said Jakes. It was worth a try he supposed
Fred looked at Jakes then. Just stared at him with a thoughtful look on his face.
Then a look of realisation appeared on his face,
"I'm... I'm Fred Thursday!" he exclaimed
Joan and Jakes laughed then
"Yes Dad, you are!" said Joan happily.

Fred then looked wide eyed at Joan.
"I just took you out on a date! I was going to... oh bloody hell!... I was going to kiss you!"
Fred look horrified, but then he remembered something else,
"Morse! Oh blimey! Morse! He's at home with Win, he's going to try to give her that present!" Fred was practically squeaking as he spoke
"Jakes, get us home now!" he added with a shout.

Fred looked in astonishment at Joan and Jakes as they both just stood there laughing.
"It's not funny, you don't know what he's got her! If he tries to talk her into trying it on, she won't know what to do with herself!" he frantically explained.

"Don't worry Dad, Morse got his memory back last night when the saucepan landed on his head." explained Joan
"He did?" asked Fred
"Yes" said Joan
"Why didn't anyone say anything when you all came over to my... erm Morse's flat last night?" asked Fred
"Max, thought it best not to cause you any stress and to let you get back to bed and get a good sleep. I think he hoped you'd go to sleep as Morse and wake up as Fred Thursday." explained Joan

"Morse didn't sleep in my bed again last night did he?" said Fred with a frown
"Of course not Dad! Sam slept on the sofa and Morse slept in Sam's room" answered Joan
Fred looked relieved at that and said,
"Well, I think we should get home anyway."
"I'll drive you both" said Jakes and Fred and Joan followed him out to the car.

Back at home, Win and Morse were still in the lounge, they were both sitting on the sofa, having finished their tea and cake and had been chatting about all the times they had all had amnesia and wondering how long it would take Fred to realise who he was.
After a while, sitting there, having eaten a fairly big lunch, they both fell asleep. Morse was leaning back and as Win began to snooze, she leaned over and rested her head on Morse's shoulder.
They were still in that position when Fred, Joan and Jakes got home a short while later.

Jakes and Joan couldn't contain their giggles when they saw Morse and Win.
"Are you sure he doesn't still think he's you Sir?" chuckled Jakes

Fred went over to the sofa and sat down in the space next to Win. The movement woke her up.
"Oh hello love, how did your lunch go? Did you both have a nice time?" she asked him.

"Yes love" he said, leaning over and giving Win a big kiss
Win threw her arms around Fred
"Oh Fred! You're back!" she exclaimed, kissing Fred back

Morse woke up at that moment and as he opened his eyes, it was to the sight of Fred and Win kissing each other, right next to him.
"Sir? Can't this wait until you're both alone?" he squeaked

"Behave Morse!..." began Fred
"...I've just remembered that I'm married to this beautiful woman, so no it can't wait!" Fred chuckled

Fred turned to Morse then with a grin,
"So lad, is there going to be room for me in my own bed tonight then?"
Morse sat there agape and Win smacked Fred on the arm.
"Fred Thursday! Don't embarrass the poor lad!" said Win

Fred shook his head and chuckled,
"Now, my darling... did Morse give you your present?" enquired Fred
"Not yet love. He seemed a bit nervous, wanted to wait until you got home" said Win, glancing at Morse, who spoke up then
"Yes, so you could give it to her Sir!"

Fred chuckled
"Well? where did you hide it lad?" he asked
"Upstairs" replied Morse
"Well, you best go and get it then" said Fred

Morse went upstairs and reappeared a few moments later with a carefully wrapped present and a card. He nervously stepped forward and handed it to Fred.
"I already bought Win a lovely box of chocolates. You bought this for her lad, I can't be giving it to her and taking the credit!" said Fred with a raised eyebrow.
"You haven't seen it Sir! It's really not something I can give to your wife!" said Morse, panicking slightly.
"Alright lad, don't worry. Why don't you and Joan and Jakes go and wait in the dining room then?" suggested Fred with a smile

Morse nodded gratefully and went out of the room, followed by Joan.
Jakes couldn't help but comment,
"I think you're about to find out what your bagman really thinks of your wife Sir!" he chuckled
"If you don't stop talking, you'll find out what your Inspector really thinks of his Sergeant!" said Fred with a pointed look at Jakes, who quickly left the room.

Fred turned to Win and smiled, albeit rather sheepishly
"Love, I'm sorry. I can't believe it happened again! I mean, we must have broken some sort of medical or scientific record by now!" said Fred
"I know, I couldn't believe it when I woke up next to Morse yesterday morning!" said Win, trying to suppress a giggle
"I had Morse tuck me in on the sofa that night! My own sofa! While he went and slept next to my wife!" chuckled Fred.

Fred handed Win the present,
"Well, Happy Birthday... again love! This is from me... and Morse!" he chuckled
Win opened the present and inside was a lovely and rather sexy nightie. Win began to blush.
"Morse bought this?" she said
"Yes love. He said that they're all the rage at the moment, according to the saleswoman!" Fred said, having a closer look at the garment and blushing a little himself,
"No wonder the poor lad didn't want to give you this once he was back to being himself!" added Fred with a chuckle

Win gave Fred a kiss and a hug and got up and went into the dining room. She walked up to Morse and gave him a big hug.
"Thank you love! It's beautiful" she said, before giving him a wink and walking back out of the room.
Morse didn't know where to look. He was bright red. He couldn't look at Jakes and he most certainly couldn't look at Joan.

"Well, well, well, you dark horse Morse!..." laughed Jakes
"...Morse the dark horse" Jakes continued, still laughing

Joan was laughing too, but she did feel a bit sorry for Morse, who was clearly very embarrassed.
"Don't worry Morse. Mum's just teasing you." she said giving him a hug, before adding,
"You have to promise me though..." she began
"Yes?" said Morse
"Once we start dating, there'll be no more sharing a bed with my Mum or buying her sexy nightwear!"

Morse looked wide eyed at Joan, but then a smile spread across his face as he replied,
"I promise... as long as you promise to stop dating your father!" he gave her a pointed look.
Joan slapped him playfully on the arm.
"Touché!" said Jakes shaking his head at the whole bizzare situation.

Fred contacted Max and Mr Bright and updated them both. He also invited them both over for tea.
It would be a rather full house, but it was actually Win's idea.
"Every time this happens, Peter and Max and Mr Bright all have to deal with it and they're always there to help us through it. It would be nice to have everyone over to say thank you" she explained
"That's a lovely idea, pet." answered Fred
Win put on a buffet for everyone. The table in the dining room was loaded with sandwiches, crisps, sausage rolls, cakes and drinks. It was a splendid spread.

That evening, when Sam had got home, he was very glad to find his Dad back to being his Dad again.
"Did you and Joan have a nice date?" he said with a smirk
"Yes thank you Sam" said Fred
Sam turned to Joan then
"Was he the perfect gentleman?" Sam giggled
"Yes, he was" said Joan

Sam still thought the whole thing was hilarious as he turned to Morse
"And where are you sleeping tonight then Morse?"
"Erm, I thought I might go back to my own flat... now that Inspector Thursday has moved out" he said with a smile in Fred's direction.

Fred looked a bit guilty,
"I owe you two shirts lad. I thought they were mine and they'd shrunk! I ripped two trying to get them on!"
They all burst out laughing at that.
"Not to worry Sir, I got rather lost in this shirt of yours!" said Morse with a grin
"Not as lost as you got in my bed the night before though! hey lad?" said Fred with a grin of his own.

"Well, I just have to hope that none of you wake up one day thinking you're me!" said Mr Bright
"Well I'd say the chances of this happening again must be almost nil?" said Jakes
"Oh, but my dear Sergeant... that's what we said the last four times!" said Max with a raised eyebrow.

THE END