Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Having someone else's fingers thrusting into your drenched cunt, stretching you, mercifully taking your virginity, was not what you expected doing on a late Saturday night.

Within the comforts of your own bed in your single spacer dorm room, you lay with your legs spread wide open under a beautiful girl you met at a party you went to hours ago with your friends.

If it wasn't for the slight influence of alcohol, you wouldn't be swaying yourself alone on the dance floor in one of the fraternity houses that hosted a massive welcoming party that night, and you wouldn't bump into her.

You didn't even catch her name, or maybe no introductions were ever spoken to each other, so you just called her the girl with the fiery red hair inside your head.

Maybe it was the way she smiled at you or her deep emerald green eyes or the amazing lovely voice she had when she spoke of how cute you looked in your Star Wars Baby Yoda t-shirt, that made your heart flutter. You hadn't been flirted with before so you had no idea if the girl was doing that or was just being nice.

You didn't believe in love at first sight. Until it actually happened to you. You knew from that moment you saw her, she'd take a huge space in your heart one day.

It was your first College party of the year, having just started at the university taking up an Accounting course. The reason why you took the damn course was because your highschool friends were also taking it, not wanting to spend years of loneliness. Little did you know that it was already too late to back out once you had started, especially when your dad basically advised you to be decisive from then on and limited your allowance depending on how you would treat your stepsiblings when you're babysitting them on some weekends.

Your so called friends, Peter and Tony, left you alone on the dance floor. Peter was heading to the kitchen to refill your drinks while Tony was busy making out with his long-time girlfriend, Pepper, who was two years older than all of you.

But it didn't mean you weren't grateful of them leaving you behind as the beautiful redhead kept you company. Your heart was beating erratically due to the close proximity between your bodies as she danced in front of you, her hands groping your hips giving you goosebumps all over your body. You hadn't felt this kind of feeling before, so when she leaned closer to your face, you found the courage to do the same.

Cheek to cheek, you two danced drunkenly to the song blaring from the speakers. O Children by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds wasn't an ideal song to dance to but somehow with her, every song seemed possible. You could even imagine dancing along to white noise with her.

The scent of her perfume infiltrated your nostrils, making you want to bury your face into her neck, and sniff all you want until you had enough supply to remember her.

One perfect turn of your heads was all it took as your mouths met. You'd kissed a girl before, plenty of times, so you were feeling emboldened that the soft whimper you managed out of the redhead was from the way you immediately slipped your tongue inside her mouth to taste her. It didn't even take long but you were already deeply interlocked in a passionate kiss.

She tasted of strawberries and a small hint of cigarette. You probably tasted like the cheap flavored beer Peter gave you minutes ago. But you no longer cared as your fingers threaded into her hair, pulling her closer, making her curl her tongue into you. You didn't even notice that her hands were settling themselves on the bare skin between the hem of your shirt and the waistband of your pants. But you definitely noticed how she squeezed your hips, pressing her front against yours. Mind must be already hazy when you felt a bulge of some sort, although quickly forgotten when you let out a dirty moan you didn't think you could ever produce.

When the music ended, the girl immediately broke off the kiss, much to your disappointment. But you didn't put much thought on it when she suddenly pulled you outside of the house, huskily asking you where your dorm room was.

If your past self could see you right now, the little girl who complained to every leading actress in a movie being swept away so easily by a random stranger she just met at a party, your old self would've died laughing.

You hurriedly led the redhead there, in your tiny own room at the westwing side of the university, where freshmen stayed. Her brain began to whirr in motion when she figured out you were a first year, stopping herself in her tracks.

Is she against of sleeping with first years? You could tell she was maybe a few years older than you but damn, she was hot.

"Are you taking up Law?" she suddenly asked, her eyes focused on the book Law on Obligations and Contracts laying on your bedside table, making you remember to study for the upcoming quiz on Monday.

You quickly shook your head as you answered. "I hate lawyers."

There was a frown on her face, so you came up with an apology. "Sorry, did I just ruin this because you're taking up Law?"

Making her laugh was now on your top to-do list as she giggled to your response. "No, I'm not."

You were planning to retort back a reply but then she was already capturing your lips as she locked the door behind you, the small conversation quickly forgotten. It must had took her only seconds and you were already undressed in front of her. You wondered how she had done it but your mind was fogged with both pleasure and want.

The girl suddenly pulled out her fingers from you, bringing you back to the present.

"What's wrong? Why did you stop?" You asked, voice hitched and aroused as you stared at the redhead hovering before you. Then she straightened as she began to get rid of the belt looped around her waist in just one swift pull. Her fingers deftly unbuttoned and unzipped her pants. Down it went, surprising you with a visible gulp when a faux cock on a harness sprang out.

You had never used toys before even by yourself. You didn't even have to worry about  blood bursting out of you because you'd already broken your hymen before during one strenuous sports activity.

But for sure, the size and girth she had at the moment would still hurt. The worry in your eyes must be evident as the girl stopped her movement.

"We can stop if you want," she softly offered, eyes laced with concern and you swore you were falling in love with her. You can't just do that. You can't fall in love with a stranger just because she's taking your virginity.

You quickly shook your head as you pulled her eagerly towards you. Her hand went to cup your drenched folds, making you whimper as her fingers collected moisture. She immediately stroke the juices she gathered around the lengthy shaft of the fake silicone, the action making her throw her head back, close her eyes and grunt. It was a wonderful sight making you even wetter than seconds ago.

When her eyes opened before you, gone were the soft green orbs replaced by darker ones. There was a short moment when you just stared at each other, the slick gushing out of you proved your desperation for her to take a claim.

The redhead finally aligned the strap to your wet folds, the touch making you buck into her but she only held your hips down.

"Fuck," you groaned out loud, your hands fisting against the sheets as she slowly pushed the tip into you, letting you adjust to the girth. You threw her head back on the pillows, whimpering from the mixture of pain and pleasure overwhelming you, eyes shutting tight to a close.

"You okay, baby?" she asked, making you melt from her softened voice and the term of endearment. When you finally opened your eyes, the voice differed from how her eyes looked at you, darkened with lust. God, she looks so beautiful and hot.

"I'm all in," she breathily cooed.

What? She is? And when your eyes darted to where both your hips meet, you could only see a tiny part of the strap. Shock wasn't even the right word to describe it, not expecting it all to fit inside you, feeling so full and wonderful.

"I'm gonna start moving, baby, is that alright?" Her voice broke you out from your trance.

You only nodded back as she carefully pulled out up to the hilt then gently pushed back in one swift motion, making you let go of the sheets and clutch against her shoulders and back, digging your nails into her. You couldn't believe the dirty sounds you were making, your eyes rolling to the back when she started a rhythmic pace.

Eventually, the lewd sounds from all the thrusting and consistently loud moans filled the entire room. The pace fastened the louder you got, observant on what makes you crazy. It didn't even take that significantly long when you shuddered with an unbelievably intense pleasure you couldn't even manage to reach so yourself.

The girl slowly weakened her movements after you had come down from your high, making you ask, "Don't pull out yet... Have you even finished?"

Her brows only furrowed in confusion as if she wasn't expecting you'd return the favor but then you were pushing her on her back as you straddled her, ignoring the sensitivity, as you rode her like the ones you've seen in movies.

Her hands instinctively made their way unto your hips as she held you, letting out a strangled moan, thrusting upwards to meet you. The look she had on you right now, with her lower lip trapped between her teeth, was doing wonders inside you that you found yourself nearing a second bliss.

You weren't even moving anymore as she pounded into you with fervor, but then there was a quick blur. She flipped you back on the bed, pace never breaking, making you whimper as she hit a spot inside you even deeper.

She pressed her body on top of you, tucking her face into your shoulder, panting sexy gasps into your ear as her hips starting to stutter into you, knowing she was close.

"Shit, shit, oh, mmmm, shit," she cursed before she stiffened above you, coming. You followed her place only seconds after.

And the night didn't just end at that. You knew then she had your heart and there was not a single bone in your body that would say no.

"Really, Y/n? You're not kidding with me right now?" your friend, Peter, exclaimed. You were having lunch with him at the cafeteria of the university at the moment, being just released ten minutes late by Miss Harkness from her Basic Accounting class.

"What's happening?" Tony chimed in, carrying a tray of food he got from the counter. He took a seat beside Peter, his girlfriend Pepper appeared behind him, making the latter transfer to the seat beside you just so the couple could sit together.

"Y/n hooked up with someone last Saturday night," Peter excitedly revealed to the group before you could even shush him.

"Not too loud please," you pleaded. He only shrugged as he went to take a bite off his sandwich.

"Ooh, that's why you suddenly disappeared on the dance floor that night... We were worried for a second," Pepper gasped as she let Tony drink down some of her soda. "That's why I texted you the following morning if you got back to your dorm safe..."

When you were about to reply, Tony mindlessly added. "How was it?"

"What?"

"The sex, Y/n... Keep up," Tony answered, laughing.

"I...," you stuttered, never really thinking that the day would finally come when you had something like this to share on the table. "It was amazing. I mean... I don't really have anything to compare it with."

"Oh my god," Pepper screamed, her eyes widened. Then she added in a whisper, "You've lost your virginity to a stranger at the party?"

You quickly shushed her out but they only cheered on. Lunch already forgotten, the three of them leaned in closer towards you as Tony broke the tension. "Who was it?"

That was the problem. You didn't know her name. You only stammered a reply, "I d-don't know."

Peter scoffed. "You don't know the person you just lost your virginity to?"

You sighed, suddenly losing the appetite to eat. "Come on, please don't bring up the v word again-"

Pepper interjected. "Y/n, at least tell me you remember her face."

You nodded back. "Yes, I do actually... I was not that drunk, of course... I mean, I even wanted to formally ask her out but she already left when I woke up-"

"Ohh," Tony snided, arm going around Pepper's shoulders. "That hurts."

"The condemned one-night stand," Peter added, leaning his back against his seat."You're not alone, Y/n... Don't worry."

But you only went on, not knowing why you were defending her, a complete stranger. "I mean, yeah, you might call it like that but I felt a connection with her, guys-"

"Come on," Tony interrupted. "Don't you think you've mistaken something else for it, such as the post pleasure feeling you get from an orgasm."

You made a disgusted face, not really used to talking about your sex life with your friends. "No, I think I really felt like it... I mean, we had a moment-"

"You had a moment..." Tony laughed at you incredulously. "Okay, if you wanted to ask her out, you have to figure her name first... What does she look like? Her course? Does she have classes specifically in this building?"

"Fine," you relented, drinking a mouthful of water before starting to describe your girl. "She has this fiery red hair-"

"Did you just say red?" Pepper immediately jumped, the soda bottle almost slipped off the table if Tony didn't manage to catch it.

"Yep, why?" You frowned at her sudden change of interest, as if she knew how bad the conversation would be going.

"Okay," she slowly answered. "Tell me if I'm wrong, but does this woman have green eyes?"

"Mesmerizing emerald ones-"

"-Height?"

You shrugged. "I don't know, an inch taller than me probably... why?"

The three of you only stared at Pepper, who had gone speechless, deep in thought.

"I think Pepper is malfunctioning, guys," Peter joked, receiving a hard glare from Tony.

"Wait," she said, surprising all of you. "I know someone..." Then she quickly took out her phone from her bag and began typing on it. Peter had returned his attention back to his unfinished sandwich.

"I know two girls with red hair that went to that same party," Pepper continued, without looking up from her screen. "Christine and Wanda.."

Pepper then shoved her phone towards you. "Tell me this is her."

It was a picture of a different redhead. She was pretty, but she wasn't her.

"Sorry, it's not her," you replied, forcing a smile while shaking your head.

"Oh, that's so cruel." Pepper only sighed as her shoulders deflated. Not a good sign.

"What? Why cruel?" you curiously asked. "What's wrong with Wanda?"

"Hold up, let me just check her Instagram..." Pepper stopped you, taking her phone off from your hand. "She's in one of my classes before last year... I think she's a Psychology major."

"Nice, Y/n," Peter chided in, but you were too focused to listen on Pepper's next words that made you expect the worse.

"But don't tell me you've never heard about Wanda's reputation before?"

"We just started here, love," Tony explained. "It's not like we know everyone."

"About what?" you delved in, ignoring Tony's comments.

"That she only does one night stands, Y/n," Pepper went on. "And it definitely makes sense why she left you like that..  You were her latest conquest."

"Conquest?"

Peter and Tony only laughed at you.

"I thought she never targets first years, though," Pepper wondered.

"You might be her first first year then, congrats buddy." Peter pushed your shoulder playfully then patted your back, his body still wracking with laughter.

"Is this her?" Pepper asked, placing her phone back in front of you.

And your whole world collapsed before you, because she really was the girl with the fiery red hair you slept with.

Wanda Maximoff.

Chapter Text

"So you're here for the part-time job," Loki sternly said, looking at the papers you provided to him. You and Loki were in his office. He was the manager / owner of the small store near the city's center, that sells vintage stuff, such as vinyl records, laser discs, beta max players, DVDs, VHS, etc. You had no idea why you chose to apply as a part-time store attendant at his establishment but when it was posted on the university's bulletin board that they offered part-time to students in need and knowing you needed one at the moment, you immediately grabbed it.

You weren't forsaken by your dad but you knew college costs a fortune and you were willing to help by shouldering some of your personal expenses while able, especially when Peter and Tony invite you to parties every weekend.

The store owner Loki, who you found out was only six years older than you, had gone silent so you wondered if the sentence he just said was a question rather than a statement, waiting for you to reply. So you tried to come up with a response but he was already talking about the course you were currently taking.

"Mmm, Accountancy... That's really brave of you...," he muttered, chuckling softly as he peered at you. "Did you know I used to be an Accounting student myself?"

"Really?" He didn't look like the type. Although, any student taking accounting classes never did.

"Yeah, but... I dropped out and started this business instead."

It was your turn to grow silent, making you worry if you had taken the right course and wonder if you could still back out. You really didn't have that luxury.

He suddenly laughed at your state, making you jump from your seat. "You don't have to worry yourself... You're still young... Besides, it will be fine on your case..."

You forced a nervous laugh as he went on browsing your student profile. "So... previous experiences include working as a cashier at a grocery store back at home... good one... and a summer job spent at an old country club, what did you do there, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Erm, just getting food and drinks to customers... Sometimes, I was the lifeguard at the kiddies and teenagers' pool-"

Then he suddenly held his hand before you, instantly making you stop talking. "-Okay, I'm gonna be honest with you, Miss Y/l/n... This job is basically boring compared to your previous ones... I mean, I know it already crossed your mind, wondering why would this old lanky guy be selling these old rusty things when they're already available online... So maybe you just wanted a lazy job to support your studies, so you'd have time on other things..."

You immediately gulped nervously because his tone suddenly became grim. "But let me tell you about this. This is serious business... I have a very vast clientele interested in this stuff, making tons of money a year, so joke's on you..."

Quickly shaking your head, you answered. "I honestly didn't think any of that, Sir-"

Then he bursted out laughing, breaking out character. "You just called me Sir...."

You only chuckled back at him, because you didn't know what to do. Was he always this eccentric? Apparently, he was just joking. "Calm down, okay? This is just an easy interview...

"Anyway," he coughed. "Gimme your top five movies you think people should watch," Loki asked, without even looking at you.

"What?" You suddenly tensed, never thinking this would come up as one of the interview questions.

"If I'm satisfied with your answers," he went on. "Then you're in."

"Any genre?" you asked.

"Be my guest." He leaned back against his seat as he listened to you.

"Mmm, Interstellar, of course," you answered. "Basically any movie made by Christopher Nolan himself."

He nodded approvingly. "Impressive... Go on..."

"What else, mmm, Her," you replied, fingers counting each film mentioned. "Forrest Gump, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, oh and I'm really obsessed with this Korean film called Parasite."

"Acceptable...," Loki stated, his fingers drumming on the edge of the table. "What about music then?"

"Ahh okay...," you began, trying to ease your breathing. "Lunar One... Why Try to Change Me Now... El Mundo, wait... oh god, I have a long list of favorite songs..."

"Are you sure you're not just trying to remember the Classics because I'd love them?" he taunted.

You quickly shook your head, defending yourself. "No, of course not... I also like I Don't Wanna Be Okay Without You by Charlie Burg, I guess... Oh, don't get me started with What I Like About You by The Romantics-"

"-You sure it's not the 5SOS one you like?" He looked at you teasingly, earning a giggle from you as you hurriedly disagreed. "The 2nd song then, whose version?"

"Ummm, Fiona Apple..."

He snickered. "Fiona Apple, she says... Why not Frank?"

"Well, Fiona's voice was amazing....," you explained. "I also sing along to Frank's My Way if that should suffice-"

"Okay fine... And the El Mundo?"

"By Jimmy Fontana, of course," you proudly replied.

"Okay," Loki said, straightening on his seat. "You got the job."

"I did?" You looked at him in disbelief.

"Yes, you can start tomorrow... oh and Christine's arrived, she's your co-worker...," Loki said, pointing behind you. "You might want to get on her good side because you'd be asking to exchange shifts with her sooner than you think."

The noise behind you made you turn to look back and saw Christine putting her books and backpack inside a locker. The same pretty girl with red hair and green eyes Pepper showed you days ago. The redhead you should have slept with that night, Pepper's voice swam inside your head.

"Hi! My name's Y/n Y/l/n, pleasure to meet you," you greeted, standing up as you held your hand for her to shake.

When Christine acknowledged your presence, you only received a small smile, your hand ending on your side awkwardly.

"Sorry, it's not you, I just got off from a very very tiring class...," she uttered.

"Professor Fury?" Loki asked from his table.

Christine only let out a long sigh as she nodded back, pinning the store's name tag bearing her name on the front of her shirt. "God, he really is infuriating."

"You mean Nick Fury, right?" you butted in. "I have his Law classes."

The redhead only laughed at you as she walked past you, patting your back. "Good luck..."

When she was about to leave through the doorway, she quickly turned with her hand holding the door and said something that sounded more like a warning to you. "Also, I would like to inform you now that I don't date my co-workers..."

Loki laughed out loud before Christine finally went out of the office, heading towards the front of the store.

You went to shout after her, not sure if she heard you. "I wasn't trying to ask you out!"

"That's what they always say," Loki answered. You only frowned so he quickly added, "Oh, the last one didn't fare well when he tried to ask Christine out on a date... Made him quit this job, to be honest..."

Shrugging the awkward and weird encounter with Christine from your head, you went back to the university, realizing you still had an hour left before your next class.

You messaged Peter to meet you at the library, knowing Tony and Pepper were somewhere else making out. Upon arriving at the massive oak doors of the university's library, you received a reply from Peter that he had an errand to run before class so he couldn't come. Figuring you were going to be alone for a while, your eyes lazily scanned the place for empty seats.

Libraries in highschool differed in college. Where you could find most tables empty in the former, it was a scarcity in the latter. There were only few empty seats you could choose, either you'd go sit beside a stranger or a group of strangers.

One thing immediately stood out when your eyes caught a sliver of red hair in your peripheral vision, stopping your heart for a second. It was Wanda.

It had been days since you last saw the beautiful redhead who consumed your mind endlessly. She was sitting alone in a table, reading Applied Psychology book before her, while her eyebrows furrowed deep in concentration, remembering the way she gazed at you that night.

Wanda looked so beautiful in her large army green sweatshirt that complimented her eyes, and she wasn't even trying.

You knew there was more to the reputation Wanda had set on to everyone's expectations. Either she was pretending to be someone she's not just to close and protect her heart from the cruelties of the outside world or you were just giving her the benefit of the doubt, that she was more than what she actually was, a fuckgirl. Is that what you call a female version of a fuckboy?

But your friends didn't see what you saw when you were together with Wanda that night. Maybe you were just drunk but you knew something was there, a deep connection between the two of you.

You couldn't blame them, your friends were just trying to make you see what was actually there - nothing. That you should settle on the fact that she was at least attracted to you. And that knowledge when she decided to sleep with you amongst a sea of people in the party that night, should heal the wound your heart would be carrying from now on. As if you should be proud she still chose you.

The problem was, you wanted her to choose you forever.

You had dreams of Wanda every single night, haunting you, sometimes even reliving the time spent with her, and those were the things that made you feel mixed overwhelming emotions. How can one thing make someone so happy yet also sad.

You even drowned yourself in alcohol one night, so you could forget how you easily lost your virginity to someone whom you thought would be the love of your life.

Finally gathering courage, you began to walk towards where Wanda was sitting. The closer you got, the tighter your lungs constricted your own breathing.

"Hey," you greeted enthusiastically, pitch higher than normal. Confused surprised green eyes met yours. "Do you mind if I sit here with you? Others are already full."

It took Wanda a moment of contemplation before she shook her head and gestured to the seats in front of her. You gave her your warmest smile as a thank you, but she forced a weak one, so different than the ones she displayed that night.

"So, you're taking Psychology then?" you jokingly asked, remembering how she got offended when you said how you hated lawyers.

You were only answered with silence as Wanda went to ignore you.

Opening your Taxation book before you, you started to find another way to converse, not sure she heard your playful question before. "Is it always this full in the library? I mean, there are barely any seat left..."

Wanda gave you a tight smile as she nodded, slowly closing her book and slipping her things into her backpack.

Your eyes only widened, realizing what she was doing, disappointment filling your entire body. "Wait, are you leaving already?"

"Yes, I have a class," she replied nonchalantly. You immediately knew she was just lying, that she was just avoiding you. But damn to yourself for thinking how sexy she sounded like, making you want to grab and desperately kiss her the way you kissed each other days ago.

So you built up your courage and decided to ask her out, as originally intended. There was nothing wrong to chase the ones who made you feel something.

"D-Do you, maybe, w-want to have coffee with me later after class?" You were a mess, a stuttering blabbering mess.

Wanda only sighed as she finally answered, the strap of her backpack already on her shoulder. "Let me just get you off the hook easy, okay?..."

You nodded absentmindedly as she continued, her voice sweet yet forbidding. "I hope there's no hard feelings though... I just don't talk to people I had sex with after, nor do I want to become their friends... I also don't do dates.... I don't do relationships... I hope you understand that now."

So it was really true then. Your heart sank at the admission and all you could wonder was why. "Why?"

Wanda was taken aback, as if not expecting you to ask her that.

"Do I really need to give you an explanation?" she mused, a smirk on her face.

'You took my virginity. Yeah, at least, I deserved that' was what you thought inside your head. Instead, you ended up saying, "I think so..."

Wanda chuckled at you, avoiding your probing gaze. "Let me just put it simply... The idea of me inside your head, baby... sweet, beautiful, kind, hot student who you're gonna take to movies, restaurants and marry one day, is just a fantasy... I'm not one of those. I'm not that girl in your imaginations, so I suggest you to get rid of that idea and direct your imaginary boner to someone else..."

Then she glanced at your book with your name on it, muttering it after in her tongue, making you melt at the sound of your name from her, even when it was laced with pure intention to hurt you. "Y/n Y/l/n... It was just sex, sweetheart..."

Then Wanda abruptly stood up, quietly dragging the chair back into the table. And left.

Chapter Text

Wanda had a point. It wasn't like you didn't see it coming. Your friends even did their best to warn you. You were just in denial. You were just refusing to believe that you gave up your innocence to someone who barely cared for you after they took what they needed. A quick fuck.

The endless romantic books you had read and films you had watched were all to blame for this. Nothing prepared you that no one would be lucky enough to meet their soulmate right there and then. You used to never believe in all these stuff. And somehow, you wished you stayed that way. It is true then - to feel things so deeply is both a blessing and a curse.

It would have been nice though if you didn't think too much about what happened between you and Wanda, if you weren't affected by her.

But Wanda filled your head through the days that followed. Your middle finger smudged the charcoal traced on the piece of paper before you, giving some shadows underneath Wanda's eyes, to make it seem like they were moving.

"What are you drawing?" A little boy's voice made you jump from the couch in the living room.

"She's really pretty," a girl added.

You immediately hid the sketches of Wanda you had been drawing for the past days since the last encounter, closing your notebook from the children peering behind you.

"None of your business...," you snided. "What are you doing here? I said finish your lunch."

Then you stood up and led them to the dining room, back to their seats. "But we have already eaten our lunch," the boy complained.

"Yeah, but ice cream and chips don't count as food, okay?" you advised. "Plus, dad's gonna freak out if he finds out our secret agreement, do you want to stop our arrangement that you can get to eat ice cream and chips every time I'm around?"

Your stepsiblings Johnny and Sue both shook their heads no as they went to continue eating the food on their plates.

It was a Saturday when your dad asked you to babysit the kids while he and your stepmom had gone to a lunch meeting with their clients. They had this small business they started on their own after their marriage. Your dad still worked at his previous company except during weekends, where he promised Jane, his second wife and now your stepmom, to dedicate his time selling vintage cars. You never figured out the reason why, you had never really known your father to have a sudden interest in cars. But maybe it was Jane's.

You couldn't complain, Jane was nice although you were still getting used to calling her your second mom. And she loved your dad so you settled for what was best for everyone. You had no problem welcoming her in your life as much as she had.

Besides, it was only two years ago when your dad remarried. You went to the wedding too, having no idea Johnny and Sue, who were seven and five years old now, respectively, existed.

You didn't even know you were good with kids until you'd spent a good enough time with them, if blackmailing or making deals and arrangements so they would behave would count as one.

Your mother was hit by a drunk driver when you and her were walking home from the mall. The mall was just a walking distance from your old house at that time. You got lucky, because the minute your mom saw the skidding car from a distance heading your way, she immediately threw you harshly towards the side. And you never saw how she was dragged by the moving car, sending her flying to the air, lifeless.

You were only ten years old when that happened. But it traumatized you to the bones. You remembered you couldn't talk for months after that happened.

Eventually, they caught the suspect but he didn't even get to serve more years than he deserved in the prison, sentencing him to only eight years because it wasn't entirely his fault why your mother was walking in the middle of the road, not at the sidewalk intended for pedestrians. That's why you hated the unjust law and how unfair it was that your mother's death didn't even get the justice it deserved.

"We're home!" your stepmom's cheerful voice filled the house, making the younger ones jump off from their seats and run to meet her. Your dad came into view behind her.

"Oh, Y/n! I got you your favorite cupcakes," Jane said, handing you a box of cupcakes with frosting on them. "We passed the store on the way home... Couldn't really settle not buying one for you."

Your eyes lit up. You had been obsessed with these cupcakes being sold by a famous store on the other side of the city, especially the red velvet-flavored ones. "Thank you so much... you know, you didn't have to do that-"

"-I know you're rejoicing internally," your dad interrupted, squeezing Jane's shoulders. "Don't believe she didn't really want cupcakes that much, Jane." You all laughed at his comment.

"Can we have one of the cupcakes please?" Johnny asked, who was also joined by his younger sister, puppy eyes on full display.

"No more sugar, you have enough," you whispered to the both of them, glaring.

But your dad only added. "Actually, we also got them each..."

You began to worry because you knew they have just finished a glass full of ice cream minutes ago when you wanted them to stop annoying you while you studied for next week's exams, which to be honest, only ended up sketching Wanda's beautiful face.

But Johnny immediately added when he saw your eyes. "Sue and I will just share this piece of cupcake." He picked one with the most frosting on top and they made their way back to the table, making your dad amazed by how controlled they were.

"I heard you got a part-time job, Y/n," Jane started as you went to slip your things into your backpack.

You smiled. "Yep, actually, I'm gonna head down there after here."

"Do you want me to give you a ride?" she offered, dropping down the other bags to the table.

"Oh no, no, thanks...," you replied, quickly shaking your head. "I can just take the bus."

"Y/n works at Thor's brother's vintage store," your father mentioned as he took one cupcake from the box, frosting all over his chin. It made Sue giggle.

"You know Loki?" you curiously asked.

"I know his brother...," he answered, wiping the frosting with a tissue. "He's our dealer with the vintage cars... Let's just say the brothers have a keen eye on good vintage things.."

"Loki mentioned he had a lot of clients-"

"They do, in fact," Jane said, grinning. "Glad he's taking students into his own business."

"I think it's smart," Dad butted in. "With students, he can save a whole lot of money compared to paying regular working adults."

Your dad was right. You didn't have insurance or health benefits from the job, just weekly pay and meal allowance. You guessed students just settle for less when they still had no idea what they deserved.

Was that the case with Wanda?

When you finally arrived at Loki's store,  Christine had just finished attending to a customer. Once the customer left the counter, you gave the redhead some of the cupcakes you brought with you.

Her green eyes only stared at the food like it was poison.

"I'm not trying to poison you," you quickly joked.

"No, I'm not clearly thinking about that," Christine calmly replied, her voice somewhat soothing yet laced with something unknown. "I told you already that I don't date my co-workers, right? So you don't need to give me gifts too..."

Your eyes widened at that. "What? No, I wasn't trying to-"

But you stopped when she broke out in a loud laughter. "I'm just kidding... God, if you could see your face right now."

And you let out a small chuckle. "Are you always like this, playing jokes and all?"

She grinned from ear to ear. "Actually no, I got affected by Loki's personality... He's a bit on the eccentric side, if you know what I mean.... And me, well, I'm just trying to socialize... This job is... please don't tell Loki about this, but this job sometimes gets boring."

You nodded, accepting her explanation and leaving the box of cupcakes before her. You decided to fix the stacks of disturbed CDs on one aisle while conversing with the redhead.

"So you're straight then?" Her sudden question made you look at her, the CDs in your hands almost fell out.

"What?"

Christine appeared oblivious on your high-pitched note, pursing her lips. "Or am I just not your type?"

You swallowed nervously as you went to arrange the CDs. "You can't just ask people that."

"Why not?"

"Because it's inappropriate..."

"So what is it then?" She insisted, making you look back at her as you answered.

"No!"

But her eyes feigned innocence.  "No to which question? The first one or the second one?"

Your jaw just dropped before you. Christine never waited for your reply though, as she carefully picked up one of the cupcakes from the box and licked the top frosting with her tongue slithering out of her mouth. Then she moaned.

You weren't an idiot, you knew she was teasing you. Wondering if you'd get away with it or give in. She was trying to get you to quit.

Good thing a customer came in and saved you the trouble. The customer was a college student like you, asking for your help on buying a present for someone who likes vinyls. You showed her the rack of vinyl records you had in stock and discussed with her the type of genres her friend might like. All the time, the customer had gone way too touchy on your arms and shoulders that you just disregarded as being nice.

But when you came back to the cash register after the customer had left with the purchase, Christine walked past behind you and warned. "Also, no flirting with customers during work hours."

Irritated, you shouted back. "I wasn't!"

But she had already gone to the other side of the door.

It was Sunday evening when you found yourself drinking some of the Whiskey your father hid in his cabinet. You were babysitting Johnny and Sue again for the night when your dad and stepmom went to their monthly dates.

Having just tucked in the two kids in their own beds and warning them about poltergeists and stuff haunting them if they don't sleep before midnight, you managed to get yourself free time for yourself.

Lazily browsing on your Instagram news feed, a post suddenly caught your eye. One of your classmates from minor Philosophy class posted a group photo with Wanda in it, who was also tagged.

You still couldn't stop thinking about Wanda and the last conversation you had with her. It was harsh but she let you down easy and fast. As if she had done this a lot of times to other girls like you. Just like ripping off a bandaid. You wondered if they got affected like you or you were alone in the unrequited dilemma.

You were playing with fire that night so you couldn't really blame Wanda when you got yourself burned.

Clicking at the name tagged on Wanda's face, you decided to stalk her Instagram account. What could go wrong, right?

Ethereal beauty. That's what Wanda possessed. She looked gorgeous in her profile photo. And the pictures she posted in her account weren't even selfies or pictures of food or parties she'd been to.

They were random street photographs, a tumbleweed on a place that looked like a desert, a beggar asking alms from a car, a spray-painted vandal on one of the walls of an abandoned building saying 'Love is overrated'.

And what stood out the most was an old black-and-white photo taken by her years ago showing a smiling picture of a man blowing a pinwheel. The photo had captured certain elements that gave out emotions to viewers. Pure happiness.

You didn't know if you were that drunk but your thumb must be hovering too close to the screen of your phone because suddenly, a heart popped up on the picture, appearing as if you'd like her post.

An old post. A post she posted exactly three years ago from today. What seemed to be her 50th plus photo you had scrolled so deep due to endless stalking.

"Shit, shit." You immediately went to unlike it but unknowingly, it was unsuccessful. You must have fallen down from the couch trying to get rid of the silly red heart but couldn't.

You must have cursed and cursed until you heard snickers in the background. When you turned around, Johnny and Sue were there with the wifi cord unplugged, laughing as they then made a run towards their bedroom.

"I hope the poltergeist will come visit you in your sleep tonight!" you shouted at them but you were only met with giggles and a thud of their bedroom door.

You plugged the wifi back into the socket and waited for what seemed like eternity. You couldn't afford data so you just had to pray that Wanda was not online and she didn't just saw what you did.

But when the internet finally came back and you opened the app again, you had one notification that made your heart stopped beating.

It was a follow request from Wanda herself.

You finished gulping the drink you had and cursed to the silent night. Releasing a breath you didn't realize you were holding, you then clicked Confirm.

You jumped when your dad suddenly made an appearance behind you, never hearing them arrived. "What's up, kiddo?"

Jane greeted you shyly then tiptoed to the bedroom upstairs to check on the kids.

You immediately headed to the kitchen to wash the glass you had been drinking on. "Don't try to hide it, Y/n... I know you've been sneaking a drink."

"It's just one glass, dad," you argued, grabbing your hoodie from the couch and readying yourself to head back to the dorm.

"You know you can stay the night here," Dad offered. "Besides it's already late."

"I have an early class tomorrow," you lied. You never really wanted to spend the night there. You always felt like you didn't belong even when they were completely trying their hardest to include you in.

He let out a sigh and said, grabbing his keys from the bowl beside the door. "Come on, I'll give you a lift to school."

"Dad, I can take the bus."

"Please... as if I'd let my daughter go home alone at this hour of the night."

So you let him. There was just silence on the whole ride. That was what you liked with your dad. You'd just smile at him and he'd just look at you and smile back. Understanding that no words ever needed to be spoken to show that he cared and you cared.

But then somehow that night, he broke the silence.

"So what's happening with you? How was your first year? Any thing you'd like to share with your old man?" He chuckled nervously, gripping the steering wheel tight.

"I.... it's good... I mean," you stammered,  never expecting him to be inquisitive all of a sudden. "Peter and Tony are my classmates, so I don't feel alone."

He just nodded back. "You know you don't have to be so hard on yourself."

You only frowned. "I wasn't."

"Why did you apply for a job then? You could just be focusing on your studies," he reasoned.

"I am focused, dad, besides, it's only a part time job...," you explained. "I mean, who would say no to free cash?"

"Okay..." he sighed. "If you say so..."

You thought he'd let the small talk go but he went on. "Sue said you have been drawing again. You have new inspirations now?"

Rolling your eyes on where your stepsister's alliance stayed. "I was just doodling while studying, Dad."

There was a short pause before he began talking again, the university now appearing in view. "Tell me honestly Y/n, are you still having nightmares?"

You immediately shook your head. "No... why?"

"Nothing..," he quickly said. "Just checking up on you.... Just know that you can tell me anything, right?"

You only nodded so he would let it go.

When you arrived at your dorm building, you suddenly couldn't stop yourself from asking.

"Dad," you started, fingers fiddling on the hem of your shirt. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything please," he answered.

You licked your lips nervously. "What do you do if you like someone who doesn't see the world like you do?"

You had come out to your dad three years after your mother's death so it wasn't a problem when you're talking about liking girls. Your mother found out first. And she didn't let you feel any different.

It started when you talked to her about how you never understand fairy tale movies at a young age. When the prince kissed the princess, you would just feel disgusted. Time after time, the disgust turned into jealousy. How lucky the prince was for kissing the beautiful princess. And then you eventually realized you wanted to kiss the princess for yourself. So you told your mother that, unaware that you had literally come out to her.

"What do you mean?" His voice brought you back to the present.

"I mean...," you tried to utter. "You know me.. I like sweet things, romantic cliche movies and stuff... What if this person I like doesn't like that, should I stop?"

Your dad only sighed. "Do you like this person a lot?"

You looked down at your hands as you muttered back, voice so small. "I think so..."

"Well, you can give it a try to open their eyes to see you and the way you see things...," he said. "Your mom and I never really had common interests when we dated back then... But we learned to oversee those things and began to create our own..."

Then you looked at him. "But how?"

Your dad just shrugged his shoulders. "You don't have to do anything actually... you just have to be yourself... And if this person likes you back, which should always matter, then they would see you on their own without your help."

You never really understood how to benefit from his advice but you took it as a challenge instead.

You would still try to ask Wanda out.

Chapter Text

"It's a bad idea," Peter said. You were sitting beside him around a wooden table outside the university grounds. Since most of the students occupied the library at the moment, you and Peter miraculously found an empty table outside the building. The location gave you a perfect view of the classroom door where Wanda was attending a class. Besides, people inside would just stare at the bouquet of white tulips in your hands.

"It's not a bad idea...," you countered, a book before you. You decided to study for your exams later while waiting for Wanda to come out from her class. You weren't a stalker but you just happened to have a common friend who knows her class schedule. And you just grabbed the opportunity to know too. "I mean, come to think of it... Maybe Wanda's just scared because she got hurt in the past by an old lover of some sort... But I'm built different... I can show her that."

"By how? By becoming a helpless idiotic martyr?" Peter exclaimed, turning the page of the same book he was also studying. "Y/n, I know I should be supporting you, but I just don't want you to get hurt, okay? And you don't really have experience on that sort. You had a girlfriend in highschool that didn't last a year-"

"-that's because she was still trying to figure out her sexuality-"

"-but you still got hurt the same," he interjected.

"I know, I know," you stopped him. "And I'm not gonna get hurt this time... This is just a courting phase, Pete."

You heard a bell ringing from a distance, signaling lunch. That didn't stop your bestfriend from convincing you to let it go. But how could you let go of someone who already owned you.

"But Wanda is different...," Peter went on. "She's hot, I can see that. I have eyes... But you're going too far, way out of your league, and don't get offended please... but she's not really your type, Y/n."

"She is my type...," you argued, straightening the collar of your shirt because any minute now, Wanda would be walking out of that door you had been staring at for an hour. "Well, except for the part where she wants to sleep with basically everyone in the university. But she's different from other promiscuous girls I know. Good different... I mean, you've seen her Instagram account, right? Those photos she took tell me something about her personality-"

"And what's her personality then? Sometimes, posts on social media doesn't necessarily mean anything-"

You interrupted him. "-That she also see things my way... Only she's scared to take a risk. She's scared to trust anyone."

"And you're not?"

You rolled your eyes at him. "And I'm not."

Then he closed his book and turned to look at you. "Tell me then, Y/n.... What happens if she does risk it with you, but then you'll see her talking to someone else, won't it ever cross your mind that she might go back to her old ways?"

He had a point. He knew you had trust issues. "She's... she's not gonna do that."

"How are you so sure?" You weren't.

Then you saw Wanda stepped out of the room, walking along with her friends. You stood up with the bouquet of flowers in your hand.

"Wish me luck," you sighed.

Peter sighed out louder. "I wish you good luck, Y/n... And I wish to see you still alive later in class."

You only chuckled back at him as you made your way.

Wanda and her friends were now sitting on the grass near the bleachers of the school grounds. She sat with legs crossed, her creamy legs in full display, realizing only then she was wearing a skirt. She just lit a cigarette in her mouth, pursing her lips around the offending item, suddenly making you remember how she felt like against yours.

When your gazes finally met, Wanda's bewildered eyes immediately darted from your grinning face down to the flowers in your hand.

"Are you lost, kid?" her male friend with blonde hair asked you, smirking. You couldn't move somehow, forgetting why you were there in the first place. Them breaking into loud laughter was what woke you up. Wanda only smiled wickedly, amused.

"Hey..," you finally sucked up what remained of your courage. "I-I got this for you... Saw it a lot in one of your photos, figured you like Tulips..."

Wanda's friends went silent for a moment before they roared again in laughter, even much louder than before. The redhead stood up and yelled at them to stop, all the while her soft fingers wrapped around your wrist, pulling you with her as you two walked away from the crowd.

"Be gentle, Wands!" The woman with short black hair shouted behind you but you and Wanda just kept on walking.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she spat the moment you two were alone, turning you harshly to face her. You hadn't seen her angry like this. Besides, you didn't even know a lot of things about her.

"I am giving you flowers," you stammered, handing her the bouquet which by all wonder there was in the world, she accepted.

"What part of 'I don't talk to people I had sex with' don't you understand?" She hissed, throwing the flowers to the ground. You spent your daily allowance on that stupid thing.

"Look...," you tried, even when your insides were also fuming. "Just give me a listen... I-I just can't describe the way you make me feel... As crazy as this sounds, but your presence makes me forget about everything else. And I wonder if I also made you feel that way... I like you... like a lot, Wands."

"Wands," she scoffed, mocking the tone of your voice, then laughed. "You're a dreamer, huh?... What? After one night, you just suddenly realized you're in love with me? And just because you know my name, you don't just get to call me that-"

"-I just want to see this through," you pushed further.

"See beyond what? The sex?" Wanda asked exasperatedly, her hands raised before you in annoyance. "It was just sex, Y/n."

"I was there," you defended. "I saw the way you looked at me. Don't tell me you didn't feel anything that night?"

"Oh god, how young are you? You're acting like a child-"

"Then why did you follow me back?" you asked, intrigued. She didn't have to follow you back if she wasn't interested in you. She said it was a one-time thing.

Her glaring eyes only turned into confused ones. "What?"

Now, you weren't feeling confident anymore. "My IG account... ummm, you requested for a follow after I liked one of your posts."

Wanda's eyes lit up, a smug smile on her face. "Oh, so you were that stalker who liked one of my old photos-"

"What?"

"-I didn't even know it was you," she reasoned out, her hand combing through her hair as she laughed.

Then you suddenly remembered that you really used a very vague name as your Instagram account username and you also didn't post selfies unlike most people do, so there wouldn't be a way she'd know who you were.

"Oh." Was the only thing you could mutter back. There was just silence between the two of you until she ended it.

"Don't worry... I forgive you," the redhead said, smirking. And god, you wished you could kiss that smirk off from her face. "Just because you were nice to me that night."

Then you had enough. "Don't get mad, but maybe you weren't just treated well by others before... That's why you're scared to commit to relationships-"

She looked at you incredulously, nostrils now flaring. "Excuse me?!"

"I mean..," you held through. "Have you even received something like a box of cute cupcakes as a sweet gesture or those flowers on the ground you just threw?"

Wanda scoffed then shook her head, crossing her arms before she took another hit of the cigarette in her fingers. You just waited. "Why cupcakes?"

"I don't know," you shrugged, not really expecting her to ask you that. "I just like cupcakes... But that's not the point."

Then she chuckled. "My god... you're just so innocent and naive, aren't you?"

You sighed. "Don't you wanna fall in love? Aren't you getting tired of waking up early in bed, just to get dressed, leave and forget the blissful night you just had?"

Wanda abruptly stopped laughing as she opened her mouth to argue but you stopped her.

"I mean, it couldn't be with me," you hurriedly added. "But with other people eventually..."

Wanda then avoided your eyes as she looked at the ground, puffing another hit. "Love is awful."

Your eyes widened. "Awful?"

She nodded, her eyes now focused on the people who just walked past the two of you. "It makes people cruel, selfish and even worse."

You smiled because the redhead really gave your comment a thought. "But ain't that what makes living worth it?"

She only shook her head. "You're blinded by what you see in movies or read in the books, nothing of the sort exists, Y/n, just because it doesn't..."

"Okay, I know that... but don't you think you're just holding back because you're afraid of getting hurt."

Wanda's lips turned into a grin as her eyes met yours. "Who between us is hurt right now because of rejection?"

"You're missing the point," you went on. "Life is always at risk... So you might as well allow yourself to experience what it's like to love and be loved. It's the very essence of being alive..."

The redhead only softly chuckled as she licked her lips, shaking her head. "God, it's so stupid of me how I didn't see it before... You're just hungry for more, aren't you?"

"What?"

She snickered, a sly smile on her face. "You wanted another night with me... I get it-"

"-No, of course not!" You eagerly shook your head no as you stepped back away from her.

Wanda just took another hit from the cigarette as she moved towards you, face leaning in closer. Her eyebrows were furrowed as if waiting for you to answer her.

"I don't see you as a sex object," you admitted.

Her eyes softened for a moment, you swore you could just be imagining it, but she quickly turned her face to the side to blow the puff of smoke away from your face then turned back and leaned in much closer, making you swallow a nervous gulp. Your heartbeat was going crazy, butterflies swarming in your stomach like a flock of lost birds.

"Y-You know, s-smoking is really bad for you," you stuttered, maintaining eye contact even when your insides were already melting.

"Then I suggest you to stay away," she taunted. Taking mercy, she finally pulled and walked away from you, heading back to her friends.

You figured you had lost your chance and that was finally it. When Pepper and Tony found out what you did, they praised you for being brave and for surviving the wrath. Was losing ten bucks worth it? No. Did it make you want Wanda more? Yes.

Wanda was an enigma you wanted to know. So you tried to think of other things to convince her to go out on a date with you. Just one small step at a time. Christine mentioning to Loki about an upcoming film releasing that weekend gave you an idea. You knew Wanda would like the genre based on your observations of her. But to no avail, she seemed to be avoiding you at school more often.

You saw Wanda again at a party that weekend, looking so beautiful even when she was only wearing a tattered gray shirt and tight black pants, making you freeze on the spot, mentally preparing yourself how you would ask her. You didn't even notice Christine until you bumped into her, holding her for stability so she wouldn't fall unto the floor.

The other redhead then teasingly asked you, "Are you stalking me?"

You quickly shook your head, realizing you were still holding her arm. "No, I came with my friends."

Christine's eyes darted around you. "Imaginary?"

"What? No-" You turned to look as well but Peter was already flirting with someone from his class and Tony and Pepper were playing beer pong with others.

"I knew there was something weird about the way you look at me...," Christine went on, leaning in, her hand cupping your face. You could smell from her breath that she had been drinking. "Mmm, such a waste, I don't date my co-workers."

Then she left you, speechless and dumbfounded. Before you could even think much about the encounter, you saw Wanda's gaze for a moment meeting yours. She quickly turned around to get herself a drink.

You gathered the little courage you still have left in your body as you headed towards Wanda.

Quickly taking the stool beside her, you began. "There's this new movie called Don't Worry Darling you might like... It might seem far in comparison to Midsommar movie.. But maybe you want to watch it with me tomorrow so we can judge about it afterwards..."

Wanda broke out into laughter as she poured some soda into her glass you figured had vodka in it. "You don't just give up, do you?"

"Well, I've decided to disturb you for the rest of my life." You only smiled at her as you glanced at the bottles of alcohol before you. Then you slipped her a bottle of ginger beer, to which she nodded approvingly, pouring some into her mixture.

"You're saying that now, but once you get to know me, you'd back out and lock your door-"

"-but I want to," you interjected. "I want to get to know you."

"Okay, fine," she muttered, sighing, making you almost let go of the bottle of cranberry juice from your hands. "I'll go with you."

Surprised wasn't even close to describing what you felt at the moment. "What? Really?"

Wanda placed her hand on your thigh, squeezing you, proving it all real, the touch electrifying you with energy heading straight to your core.

"Just hit me up with the details tomorrow... I'll just go fuck that blonde girl over there who has been eyeing me for the last hour," she went on, pointing at some blonde woman glaring daggers at you on the other side of the room.

Then Wanda stood up and walked towards her, who gave a sweet smile back to the redhead. Giving a peck on the blonde's cheek, Wanda flirted with her as if you weren't there.

Your stomach rumbled with jealousy that immediately turned into pain the moment Wanda started to lead the girl upstairs, knowing where they were headed.

And that was it. Your wake-up call. Eye opener. You turned back to the counter and began to make yourself a drink. Something strong to forget how stupid you were.

Your dad was right. You couldn't just go on like this if Wanda didn't like you. Peter was more right. You couldn't just trust her even if she did like you back. Wanda was the most right. You would eventually give up.

And you did. For now, anyway.

Chapter Text

Your phone buzzed but you couldn't get yourself to open the message. Groggy eyes closed to a shut as you burrowed your head deeper into the pillows. Then another buzz came along but you completely ignored it. After a couple of seconds, there was another one. You figured it could just be Peter or Tony bothering you about your whereabouts on a Sunday morning, so you didn't bother to check your phone.

You could feel yourself slowly succumbing back to dreamland until another buzz woke you up again.

"For the love of God, will you just turn that thing off?" A familiar voice snapped behind you, making you open your eyes widely, now fully awake. Suddenly, you found breathing challenging. You felt the mattress move behind you, making you turn quickly to check.

Christine was on your bed.

You pinched yourself so hard to know you weren't dreaming. But Christine was still on your bed.

The strands of her long red hair were splayed all over her face as her brows furrowed, irritated from another noise coming from your phone. You didn't even realize how full and red her lips were as she tried to sleep, lips slightly parted yet inviting. But then they closed and crept into a smile.

"Enjoying the view?" She asked, opening her left eye to see you. You quickly shrugged as you straightened yourself to a sit, turning away from her. A thought suddenly occurred to you, making you dig through your brain on how you two ended in this predicament.

You went to look back at her sleeping form. She was wearing your old Nirvana t-shirt, your favorite. Then you quickly looked at yours, also fully clothed, checking if you both did something last night while drunk that you knew you'd regret later.

"Nothing happened, if you're wondering," Christine's words slurred from her mouth. Your phone buzzed again, making the redhead turn her back at you. "Now, if you could just answer whoever was messaging you at this ungodly hour, I'd really appreciate it."

The messages were indeed from Tony and Peter, asking you about the details with your nightly adventures with Christine. How the sex was, which you rolled your eyes at. How you two were inseparable that night, which your eyes widened at. And how they teased you that redheads were really your type.

You quickly sent back your reply that nothing of the sort happened between you and Christine. You turned to look at her and she was still sleeping. So you carefully pulled yourself off the bed and headed to the bathroom, your head immediately exploded with pain the moment you did so. You took some aspirins and decided to leave some for the redhead on the bedside table.

Bombarded with a lot of homework and exams to study that week, you never really put much thought on what happened between you and Christine in that party. You just remembered vague details such as, her making fun of the drinks you made, commenting about the common professors you had, how you found out she was taking Pre-Law, how you explained to her why you hated lawyers and then how sorry she was for taking out her paranoia on you, explaining how she had grown tired of her co-workers flirting with her at Loki's store, so tired that she assumed the worse for you. After that and the strong drink Christine made for the two of you, you couldn't really remember anything.

Christine left two hours later, back to her dorm, but not before thanking you for letting her stay the night after she puked all over you, which would explain the dirty laundry you found in your bathroom.

You decided not to think about Christine, especially when Miss Harkness and Professory Fury both made your Monday hell, by giving you loads and loads to study for the upcoming quizzes and oral recitations within the week. As if they wanted to make you quit in the first place so no time would be wasted.

You were in the library at the moment with Pepper. The boys had left to get you all coffee for the day, so you busied yourself with your studies while Pepper was making a poster for the Theater and Arts club party that weekend. She was an avid member of the club, you, Tony and Peter were just fanatic followers of Pepper.

"I'm just gonna go ask if the librarian has extra pentelpens I can borrow," Pepper said as she stood up. Not even ten seconds later, you heard her sit back across from you.

"That was quick," you joked, without even looking at her, as you highlighted an article passage in your book to make you remember it later.

"You didn't send me a dm yesterday," the voice startled you, making you look at the sudden presence. It was Wanda, a smirk on her face, as she opened a book before her. Her beauty would always render you speechless, no matter what she really was underneath. The bandaid to cover the wound caused by her rejection suddenly ripped open.

You slowly put down your book and highlighter as you nervously laughed. "Okay, I get it...

Her eyes challenged you. "Get what?"

"I now completely understand what you meant about our conversation last week... that sometimes, things are just the way they are. And sometimes not...

"So, I would like to personally say how sorry I was for being way too forward with you..."

Wanda only shook her head as she softly chuckled. "It's okay... it's not like I'm not enjoying how cute you were pursuing me."

You were about to open your mouth to protest but Pepper suddenly came back, surprised on who took her seat. "Oh, I didn't know we have a guest," she said, with a teasing hint in her voice as she took the seat beside you instead.

"My name's Pepper..," she introduced herself, holding out her hand towards the redhead. "We had classes together last year, Economics, I think..."

"Yeah, I remember you... Wanda," Wanda replied with a warm smile as she shook Pepper's hand. A smile that made your guts internally scream at you.

"I didn't know you and Y/n are close friends," Pepper started, a sly smile on her face. Under the table, you harshly stepped on Pepper's foot, making her glare at you for a second then fought back with her foot against yours.

"Actually, we are starting to be study partners, right, Y/n?" Wanda suggested, her eyes boring into yours.

You forced out a smile as you just nodded back.

"If it's not a bother," Pepper went on, making the redhead look at her. "We're having a party this weekend... From Theater and Arts club." Then she showed Wanda the unfinished poster she was currently making. "If you're not busy, of course, you can come to the party... You can invite your friends as well."

There was an ongoing battle of yours and Pepper's feet under the table, which only stopped when Wanda seemed to notice the commotion, making her check under.

"Yeah, sure," Wanda managed to reply, her face confused for a second. "We'll check it out, thanks for the invite."

Then you all went back silently to studying, while you stole some short glances at the redhead sitting in front of you, wondering why she was staying. You figured it was because the library was jam-packed at the moment.

It didn't stop from there. Wanda became your study partner throughout the days that week. You didn't mind one bit. You actually enjoyed it. Even when no words were spoken. You found yourself looking forward to your study sessions with her. It wasn't even like you had no other reason to study anyway.

But something was screaming inside your head to tell you to fucking get over your silly crush and move on. Wanda wasn't interested in you that way. And you couldn't really live your life settling for second or even third or fourth in Wanda's case.

This wasn't like how the romcom movies always went, where the guy would reciprocate the feelings the girl had for him, and him changing for better for her. This was reality. And you certainly didn't Wanda to change for you.

So you just buried the crush. You even lit a candle during the burial.

It still hurt, sometimes, that the thought of you and Wanda together will never ever happen.

One afternoon, Wanda was groaning on her seat as she dropped her head on top of her book.

"What's wrong?" you hesitated to ask.

Then she went up for air. "Ugh... I just can't seem to remember some things and we have an exam later tonight," she complained.

"You can borrow my highlighter," you offered.

She only scoffed at you, shaking her head. "I don't want this to end up like a coloring book, Y/n."

You giggled, now rummaging into your backpack. "It doesn't have to be... You just have to highlight the important lines."

Then you pulled out your sets of highlighters. "You can choose what color makes you remember things more when you skim later."

"Thanks," Wanda muttered.

And that was why you were at the bookstore three days later replenishing your stock of highlighters, buying more of the yellow green ones because Wanda did seem to use them a lot.

Christine had also been unbelievably nice to you at work, asking you how your class with Professor Fury had been, if he had already made one of your classmates cry. She even taught you how to setup the jukebox machine when a customer wanted to try them first before purchasing. She also defended you when you have a rowdy customer. You never even heard any of her snide comments anymore and it made you wonder what changed. She even made you laugh with her corny dad jokes. Was it due to the night you had with her?

You didn't go to the party that weekend, knowing Wanda would be there flirting with girls. Pepper would understand. Even when she invited Wanda and her friends because of you. Plus, you needed self-control and you didn't want to end up with a hangover again the next day.

That was why you were sober on your Sunday shift at Loki's store, waiting for customers, when suddenly, a bouquet of Lilies was placed right in front of you.

"What's this?" you asked, straightening your stand as you accepted the item with your trembling hands.

You were only met with Christine's shy smile as she avoided your gaze, answering, "They're for you."

"For me?" you asked, which sounded more like a squeak.

She nodded. "Yep."

"From you?"

She nodded again, biting her lower lip. "Don't you remember what we talked about at the party?"

And then it all came back like a freight train hitting you.

"Fuck," you uttered after you swallowed the warm liquid that burned your throat. Grey Goose Vodka, as what Christine called it. "That is really strong but tastes so fucking good..."

Christine grinned at you, bottles in her hands. "I know... My father used to be a bartender so he taught us all of these things... You're in for a treat..." She took another shot of the drink she made.

British Bombs by Declan McKenna was blaring from the speakers and you found yourself singing to the lyrics of the song. You didn't care anymore that you were drunk. You no longer cared how Wanda still hadn't come back downstairs from her latest conquest. Were they planning to do it overnight just like you both did?

"So," Christine went on, breaking the silence. "Now that we have set the record straight, and that you weren't really flirting with me, is there some woman who's gonna stab me at my back with a knife right now or what?"

You laughed at her. "No one, believe me-"

"Never once since birth?"

"I had a girlfriend back in highschool but it wasn't, it wasn't serious..."

"Relationships in highschool don't count," she countered, pouring more liquids into your glass and hers. You could see Tony and Pepper dancing on the dance floor. They had dated since highschool. Why did it work with them and not with you?

"I also had some flings," you argued.

"Okay, no need to defend yourself, hotshot," she quipped, giving you the shot as you took it in one gulp. "I get what you mean... It's just weird and all."

You coughed from the drink. "Why?"

"I mean," Christine began. "You're very attractive, Y/n... I just don't believe that you have no girlfriend or boyfriend yet at this time..."

You turned much redder even when the drink already did. But you only scoffed at her words, grabbing the glass from her grasp and drinking it yourself.

"What?" She exclaimed, a wide smile on her face. "It's true, I'm not lying. And I'm also drunk... And people tell honest stuff when drunk, Y/n..."

Christine pulled her glass away from yours as she started to pour more into it.

"I tried to, you know, ask someone out," you confessed, not revealing it was Wanda.

A look of disappointment flashed on Christine's face for a quick second. "And how did it end?"

"Badly, of course..," you answered. "I really don't know what I'm doing to be honest... I'm not really good with that kind of stuff, you know... I've never asked anyone before. Nor I have been done one. You were right, my highschool girlfriend doesn't even count because we never even did one of those things. It just happened like a mutual agreement we'd be lovers at that moment... No, none of the sweet and cheesy stuff....

"I wanted to experience all of it you know, the grand gestures, the flowers, the dates... And maybe because of that, I ended up doing those things to someone who didn't even feel the same way... I feel like no matter how grand the gesture is, if the person doesn't like you, it won't work..."

Christine's eyes softened for a minute, placing the alcohol on the counter as she turned her body to face you. "So you're a believer of all that stuff?"

Your brows furrowed. "About what?"

"Romance, soulmates, anything of the like."

You shrugged your shoulders. "I guess... I'm a hopeless romantic.. I just wanted to be chased like that, you know. I want to end up with someone who's obsessed with me. Who knows everything about me, even the little quirks and stuff... Someone who asks me how I've been even when they're already tired. And makes me smile with corny jokes and all. God, I'm a sap, huh? Maybe I'd end up alone after all."

Then you straightened on your seat as you leaned your elbows against the counter. "You know, maybe I'd get cats in the future... And I'll name them Tonic and Seltzer... wait, Whiskey is kinda cute."

Christine bursted into laughter at the state of you. Then it died down eventually as she said, "Don't worry, you'll have your happily ever after one day."

"Really?"

You were only met with silence so you turned towards Christine and found her staring back at you. You felt her leaning towards you or you were just too drunk and imagining it. Lips so close to each other, you could feel her breath against yours. But then she pulled away and vomited on your shirt.

"You okay?" Christine's voice brought you back to the present.

"What?"

"I am trying to court you the way you deserve to be courted," Christine said, smiling. "And Pepper said you like Lilies..."

"She did?"

"Yeah, I asked her."

"You did?" Your eyes widened from all the troubles she went for you.

Then she walked closer to you and placed a small peck on your cheek, painting it pink immediately.

"I like you," Christine easily admitted. "And maybe... I don't want to not date my co-worker anymore."

Chapter Text

The Lilies were only a start. Other things such as your coffee for the day, poems you knew Christine searched through Google but you were too touched to care, and endless bouquets of flowers throughout the week, which only ended when you told her you didn't want the redhead to purge all of her savings for material things.

But Christine said she didn't mind. As long as she could put some redness into your cheeks when she gave you those. And redness was an understatement. Your heart melted from her actions, making your brain always forget to function.

You were not used to be the receiver. So you had no idea how this would end. Would you kiss Christine or ask her to be your girlfriend? Or would you wait for her to do that herself?

You didn't want the redhead to keep on spending money for you. Or going for all the troubles, asking what flavor of cupcakes you liked from Peter, or watching the films or listening to the music you loved based on what she overheard when Loki first interviewed you for work. Your friends teasing you about it wasn't helping your case, especially when they kept on mentioning Christine in Wanda's presence, only to be ignored by the latter redhead, oblivious of the inside joke.

But wasn't that what you wanted? To be chased like that?

It was. But maybe from a different redhead.

It wasn't that you didn't like Christine, she wasn't unlikeable. She had no problems making you blush and smile in just a matter of seconds.

On the other hand, the other redhead, sitting before you on one of your study sessions in the library, brows furrowed deep in concentration as she highlighted a line in her book, the highlighter you got for her, still made your heart beat like crazy and your stomach filled with butterflies.

You figured you still hadn't moved on. No one could just move on that easily just because others had shown interest. And it would be wrong and unfair to accept Christine's advances and gestures when your heart was still occupied by Wanda herself.

People always chased the love they want, a love that didn't exist. And tend to ignore the ones that did.

If it was Christine you ended up sleeping with on your first College party, then you wouldn't even be having this dilemma.

It had been your mission since then. To bury the feelings you still have for Wanda even deeper than before, as if the six feet under wouldn't suffice. You wanted to just look at Wanda and not feel anything. You even started not to bring the yellow green highlighter she always used in the library. But you couldn't help feeling guilty when you saw the look of disappointment on her face so you offered your orange highlighter instead, and she used it as ecstatic as before.

You could avoid the library, but being an Accountancy student didn't give you that much freedom, for you were burdened with a lot of things to study.

Days quickly flew by, and you tried not to mind how Wanda would attempt to make small conversations with you. It wasn't even that noteworthy. She would just talk about the weather, the score she got from one of her exams or the food they served at the cafeteria. Any word she uttered was like fuel to your burning heart.

How can you move on when you're still in love with the girl?

Love would be an exaggeration. But the more inclined you were that it was just a silly crush, you knew you were only lying to yourself.

It surely didn't help when Wanda made a sudden appearance at Loki's store one day, with an older man who had a little bit of white hair. You thought you had seen him before because he looked familiar.

"Y/n, I didn't know you work here," Wanda stammered, her voice somewhat laced with shock and fear, as if she was caught.

"Only part time," you admitted, cheeks still red when only just five minutes ago, before Christine left the room to log in for her shift, she gave you a piece of pink rose for the day.

"Is that for me?" Wanda teased, seeing you were still holding the flower.

You quickly shook your head as you denied, hiding it behind your back. "No, no, it wasn't, don't worry..."

Shrugging off the look of disappointment in Wanda's eyes, mistaking it as somewhat of disgust, you then asked. "How may I help you and....?"

Your voice faltered when your eyes went to the old man behind her, wearing a cap that was backwards, lopsided, and adamantly avoiding your gaze like you were a paparazzi and he was a celebrity.

Wanda's teasing manner disappeared as she let out a nervous cough. "This here is my dad..." Then she turned to the man, and squeezed his arm. "Dad, this is Y/n, my friend, you don't have to be scared..."

Oh. Her father. But you were more affected when the redhead finally considered you as a friend, not just her study partner. It made your heart soar into the sky, hoping the inevitable fall wouldn't happen.

You went to offer your hand for her father to shake but he only looked at it weirdly, and then abruptly walked away from the two of you.

"I'm sorry... H-He's not really used to talking to people," Wanda explained, her voice not confident, not the Wanda you used to know. "I just... Well, Dad wants some new music to listen to in his new vinyl record machine, and I really don't know what he would like-"

Your eyes lit up, willing to help. "Ahh it's okay, maybe I can just ask him-"

"Oh, I don't think so," Wanda said, stopping you by holding her hand out to your chest. "He's not really vocal with his words and all."

And then you realized it immediately, when his dad appeared before the two of you and shoved a vinyl record into Wanda's hands, Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, and mumbled something in his mouth.

"Galileo, galileo, galileo, galileo." You could tell he was singing the lyrics to the song. You noticed then how his fingers were shaking as he talked, still avoiding your eyes as if scared you'd hit him. It started to click inside your head. Wanda's father wasn't like any dad.

"We also have a vast stock of the band Queen's songs in this aisle, sir, if you would also like another one," you suggested, shrugging the realization aside, walking to the next rows of vinyls as you led them.

The man followed as if he trusted you. Then you pulled out a record Under Pressure from the stacks. "If you liked Bohemian Rhapsody, then you would like this one too... It's one of the amazing songs that stood out from their Hot Space album... Also, my favorite... Vanilla Ice even made a sample cover for it called Ice Ice Baby, do you know that song?"

Wanda's dad took the record from your hands and muttered ecstatically the title of the songs, his grin spread wide ear to ear. "I-I love F-Freddie."

You smiled back at him. "Yes, yes, I love him too, and his incredible passion for music...  You also have got to listen to their song Don't Stop Me Now... It's one of their greatest hits of all time."

You must had spent almost an hour beyond your shift, explaining to Wanda's father the difference between rock and alternative rock music. You didn't even notice how the two redheads in the store were just staring at you through the entire interaction.

"Ice cream!" Wanda's father suddenly announced, breaking the trance he was in.

You were only left baffled. "What? Ice cream song?"

Then the man skipped towards where Wanda was checking out some films on one aisle and said happily, poking her back, "Ice cream! Ice cream!"

He then placed the stack of vinyl records he got on her hands the moment she turned.

"Yeah, yeah," Wanda replied, laughing. "We'll get you some ice cream on the way, Dad."

You then offered to help Wanda with the items. "I'll just ring these all up at the counter, then."

"Thank you," Wanda muttered softly, her eyes looking differently at you, giving you all sorts of good shivers into your system. Weirdly different.

You then walked back to the cash register, noticing the other redhead with a soft smile waiting for you.

"That was really sweet of you," Christine began, her elbow leaning against the counter as she hovered beside you. "I mean, you took some unpaid overtime for him..."

"It's okay, it's not a bother anyway, I don't have a class anymore after this shift, plus, he's happy with the choices, so I'm glad I could help," you replied, flashing the stacks of vinyls in your hand.

"Gosh, why are you so amazing and yet so single?" she teased, leaning in so close to you, you suddenly stopped breathing. But then, Wanda forced a cough in front of you, making you turn to see her waiting for the purchase she made.

"Sorry," you quickly apologized. Wanda's eyes were back to her usual self, gone were the glint she showed to you moments ago. You badly wanted it back, even when you should be moving on.

Some time later, you were walking back to the dorm from the store through the cold night, realizing then you forgot your jacket in the store's locker. You tightened your grip around yourself, arms crossed against your chest as you rubbed your sides, contemplating whether to go back to the store or not. But you lost your focus when you heard a commotion near you.

Turning around to check, you could see Wanda having troubles with her father, who apparently was holding an empty ice cream cone. He appeared to have crouched down on the ground, attempting to recover the scoop of ice cream that fell, crying and screaming.

"Wanda, is he okay?" You immediately ran to her aid.

"Y/n." Wanda was thankful to see you. "Can you... can you please buy another ice cream for him--.. Dad, stop no, you cannot eat that!"

"I want my ice cream! I want my ice cream!" Her dad only kept on screaming like a child.

You quickly headed to the stall near you and bought one, the line of people queuing even let you in first, witnessing the entire thing with Wanda's father.

When you finally got the ice cream, you hurriedly went back to give it to her dad, making the old man stop crying almost instantly, and smile as he chanted happily. "Y/n got me ice cream! She got me ice cream!"

You helped Wanda carry him to a stand. Some guy dressed in white uniform suddenly appeared out of nowhere, unannounced. "I'm so sorry, Miss Maximoff, I lost track of time, did something happen?"

The man seemed to be her dad's nurse. The redhead only shook her head and replied. "It's okay, his ice cream just fell."

Wondering how Wanda must be feeling if you didn't come to help her, it was cruel. Your heart ached for her and her dad. She was really patient with him, when it was supposed to be the other way around because she was his kid.

You waited as Wanda and the nurse accompanied him to get inside a van, after Wanda hugged her dad goodbye.

Then it was just the two of you alone, instinctively walking back to the university, a smile being exchanged between the two of you. It was just like your study sessions in the library, only you were moving instead of just sitting. The silence filled with the sounds of the night.

"I'm sorry about my dad," Wanda finally broke the silence.

"Oh no, it's okay...," you shrugged her off. "You don't have to apologize... I really enjoyed his type in music..."

Wanda then smiled warmly at you. "I thought it would be pleasant to spend the day with him today. I thought nothing's gonna go wrong, but then someone bumped into him at the park and his ice cream fell... I never got to say how thankful I am that you were there-"

"-It's not necessary to be honest," you said, returning her smile. "I'm really happy to help."

"Well, thank you anyway....," she uttered. After a short pause, she let out a sigh. "My mom left us years ago after dad suddenly had a mental breakdown due to his work, he... he attempted to take a number of pills, destroying his brain eventually..."

Could that be the reason why Wanda decided to close her heart from anyone else who'd attempt to enter?

"I'm sorry to hear that," you muttered.

"It's okay," she answered, scoffing. "We were just kids then... Dad hasn't been okay since, so I lived with our aunt while my twin brother lived with mom. I haven't seen my brother too often... and they rarely visit..."

You didn't know Wanda had a brother. To be honest, there were a lot of things you didn't know about the redhead. You slipped your hands into the pocket of your jeans as you shivered against the cold breeze that just blew past.

"Are you cold?" Wanda asked.

"Oh no, it's-" you tried to speak but Wanda was already pulling off her jacket from her body and wrapping it around yours, your heart fluttering higher than before. The scent of her perfume infiltrated your nostrils, and you just wanted to bury yourself in it, her smell.

"Is that why you took Psychology?" you hesitated to ask, not really wanting to end the conversation.

Wanda nodded back then explained a bit more about her father's case, similar to Schizophrenia. She wasn't sad about it, more happy that she could finally share it with someone. It was a beautiful sight, looking into her eyes when she talked about someone she loved.

You and Wanda must had talked about random things as you walked back to the school, realizing then she was walking you to your dorm building when you just passed by hers and she just kept on walking with you.

"Why do you think I watch movies like Midsommar?" Wanda changed the topic.

"What?"

She soflty chuckled as she went on. "You told me I'd like Midsommar."

"I...." You didn't even think she'd remember that.

She shook her head as she continued. "I watched it and it's horrifying to see the least."

You broke into a laughter to which she followed suit. "Well... I like it."

"I don't peg you as someone who likes those kinds of movies," Wanda added.

Your brows furrowed, attempting to look at her and you saw how wide the smile she had on her face. "Really?"

"Yeah," she responded, nodding, also turning to meet your eyes. "I figure you just stick to romantic films like Notting Hill or The Notebook."

"I do love them," you explained, after releasing a soft chuckle. "But I don't limit myself to those type of movies... I also explore... Oh, if you don't like Midsommar, maybe you'd like Ari Aster's Hereditary or Eli Roth's The Green Inferno-"

"No, thank you...," she butted in, giggling. God, you loved hearing her sweet laughters. "Just hearing those titles makes me know the plot already."

"Well, I didn't peg you as someone who dislikes gory films...," you quipped back, earning a playful slap on your arm.

When you finally reached your building, you sighed. "Well... this is me..." Then you turned to face her. "Thank you for a wonderful evening with your dad."

Wanda smiled, the kind of smile that made you feel giddy inside. The kind of smile that could destroy you, the kind that could brew a storm that would bring damage to the stillness in your heart. "Thank you for the company, Y/n.."

There was an awkward silence before she started. "Y/n?"

"Mm?"

She licked her lips nervously as she went on. "Please don't tell anyone about my dad... It's not that I'm embarrassed... I just, I just don't want people to pity me like you do-"

"I do not pity you, Wands...," you quickly defended. "I really like your dad... And your secret's safe with me regardless..."

"Thank you," she said. There was a millisecond where you swore her eyes drifted to your lips, but you could only be imagining it. "Goodnight then."

Then you suddenly remembered as you clutched the clothing to take it off. "Wait, your jacket-"

"Keep it...," Wanda declared, her body starting to turn around and walk away. "It looks better on you anyway."

Maybe love wasn't what we were told it to be, not all sweetness, grand gestures or attraction. Maybe love was just being there.

You realized then you were falling even deeper in love with her. Because after knowing some things about Wanda, she was still the idea of her in your head.

Chapter Text

"Y/n?"

Your dad's sudden voice made you jump from your seat in the car, the noise from Johnny and Sue arguing in the backseat slurred its way into your ears.

"You okay, dear?" your dad asked.

"Yep, I'm fine, Dad," you replied to his questioning gaze. You were accompanying him and your stepsiblings to shop for the kids' Halloween costumes since it was their first time doing trick or treating. You promised Sue to pick out the nicest princess costume for her so you had to come.

Plus, you were in charge with your friends' team outfit for the party that weekend you were still not sure whether you'd go. You and your friends had been doing that for years since highschool. One time you all went as Avengers, you ending up with a Black Widow costume. Most time, you were dressed as the four hobbits, you remembered Pepper complaining all the time why she couldn't be an elf instead.

"It's just that you spaced out for a moment there," your dad insisted, chuckling. "I was only asking if you liked the lunch we had. Johnny really likes steaks."

"I love them," Johnny butted in, who had finally managed to make Sue quiet.

Your father was right. You couldn't hold conversations for the past few days. You were always deep inside your head, drifting towards the thought of a certain redhead with green eyes. It had been almost two weeks since your treasured night with Wanda.

Trying to forget about it only made it worse. So you let it consume you.

It was too good to be true when you thought you and Wanda were faring much better, heading towards a budding friendship after she had opened herself up to you. But after that weekend spent with her and her dad, you hadn't seen Wanda in the library anymore.

The study sessions with her stopped momentarily, even Peter wondered why you were sitting with them and not with her. And it wasn't even because Wanda was not present at school due to unexpected emergency. She was literally there, sometimes on the school grounds chatting with her friends, or the school cafeteria where she was reading while eating.

You tried to reason it out that it wasn't about you. Maybe, Wanda was just busy with the exams that she couldn't find the time to head down to the library, maximizing her time to multitask between other school activities and studying instead.

But when you passed by her in the hallway and smiled, waiting for her to acknowledge your presence and grant you a sight of her beautiful smile, only to be ignored as she stared blankly ahead, you figured it was really you.

Wanda treated you that week like a stranger, as if you didn't spend a wonderful evening together. Was it like in the movies? Did it mean she has feelings for you that being around you makes her question her own sanity?

But this was the real world. Sometimes, people were just not nice. Did Wanda even notice when you began wearing her jacket at school?

Her perfume in the clothing had lost its scent on the fourth night burrowing your nose in it. You knew then you should throw it in the laundry. Now you couldn't even reminisce or inhale what was left of her. Good thing your friends never noticed you wearing an unidentified jacket, assuming it was brand new.

"Have you been having nightmares again?" Your dad brought you back to the present.

You only shook your head as you avoided his gaze. "No, Dad... I said I'm fine, just thinking about exams and stuff."

That seemed to have convinced your father, and he finally decided to change the topic, talking about Loki's brother instead. But Wanda continued to be present in your mind.

You wanted to hold a party, a bonfire party, where you could throw all your growing feelings towards the redhead into the flame. While you waited for them to burn, you would chant a prayer to help you get rid of them for good and never come back.

Sad to admit but you were just a chapter in Wanda's life entitled One Night Stand Affair. While she was a chapter titled It Could've Been You in yours.

Even at work, you found yourself sketching Wanda and her dad, just to pass the time, pass the boring hours of waiting for customers who just ended up window shopping and not actually buying things. There was still a tiny hope in you that Wanda and her father would come back bursting through the doors, planning to replenish his collection of music and then she'd finally talk to you.

Christine suddenly appeared behind where you were standing, making you cover your sketchbook immediately and turn around to face her. Upon seeing the redhead with flowers in hand, her saying she picked them from someone's garden on her way to work, you instantly felt guilty. This here is a girl willing to give her heart to you and you're taking her for granted.

It was a tragic circle, you were chasing a love from someone else, while another one chased yours.

It didn't take long when the thought eventually made you cry.

"Hey," Christine cooed softly towards you, her arms slowly wrapping around your body. You realized then that you haven't been hugged by the redhead before, the warmth from hers felt nice as you found yourself leaning into her. "I'm sorry, I didn't intend to make you cry... I can stop with the gifts now-"

"It's not you, Chris," you gasped, biting back another sob. Her hands caressed through your hair, making you calm down. And it felt amazing how her touch somehow sooth the storm inside you. The guilt only increased tenfold. You quickly pulled away from her, hands wiping the tears from your eyes. "It's just.... I-I don't think I'm r-ready yet-"

"You still have feelings for her..," Christine stated, her softened eyes full of concern, letting you know she wasn't accusing you.

"What?" you sniffled.

She gave you a warm smile, brushing a strand of your hair over your ear. "Don't you think I never noticed? You were always blanked out, and not even once did you return a favor towards me-"

"I'm sorry-"

"No, it's okay, Y/n...," she interjected. "You have a right to feel these things. And it's my fault for getting way ahead of myself, thinking that maybe you'd reciprocate my feelings-"

"Chris, no, I do, I do like you," you explained, holding her hands with yours. "It's just, I don't want to take advantage of your feelings and receive nothing from me because I'm not ready for this. I'm.. I don't think I'd ever be ready, to be honest-"

"Y/n, it's okay," she muttered softly, her hands letting go of yours then went to cradle your face. "I can wait..."

You stared at her. "You would?"

"Until you're ready...," she went on, her thumb wiping the tear strolling down your cheek. "Until you've moved on from whoever it was that broke your heart."

It was only then when you realize Christine had no idea it was Wanda, your study partner.  Christine never spent too much time in the library anyway, having privilege to use the Student Council office and spend time reading there instead. So you couldn't really tell if she had been aware that another redhead continued to fill your mind.

You didn't deserve Christine. You didn't deserve anyone at all.

After a lot of convincing from your friends that weekend, you begrudgingly accepted to go to the Halloween party, which the Captain of the College football team hosted. No wasn't an option for you anyway since you and your friends would go with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles costumes, and one missing turtle would ruin the whole idea. Besides, they were the only costumes you could find that came in groups at the store.

A part of you said yes because you just wanted to see and have a talk with Wanda, expecting the redhead to be also there.

Receiving a cup of beer from Peter, your eyes began to scan the place filled with people wearing their own Halloween costumes, preferably more presentable than the ones you wore. Not that anyone would mind the clothing, it was cute. But when you saw Wanda, wearing a sexy red outfit with red cape around her shoulders and a crown on her head, you felt so underdressed.

Throat going dry from the sight of her cleavage in full display, you drank the remainder of your cup, making Peter scowl at you as he took it and refilled. You must had gawked at Wanda like a hungry zombie, wondering what you could possibly do to get over her when she didn't even do anything and it had already made you crazy.

An hour into the party, Tony and Pepper changed into a couple's costume, making Peter complain at the both of them, not wanting to end up as turtles duo.

Wanda didn't even acknowledge you for a second and anger just kept rising inside you. You even noticed girls eyeing and getting handsy with Wanda like leeches, never realizing you were also one. You couldn't help it. Wanda was ethereal.

There were a couple of pretty girls in the room, wondering which one would end up in her arms that night, the bile in your stomach already churning with jealousy from the thought.

That was when you caught a blonde girl staring at Wanda from a distance. When yours and the girl's gazes met, she began heading towards you. "Do you know that girl with red hair over there? She's hot."

Of course. Everyone would be obsessed with the girl you couldn't have. "Do you think she's single?" She went on, eyes never leaving the subject. "Do you think she'd say yes if I ask her out?"

You only laughed, making her eyes glare at you for a moment. "Sorry, I mean, yeah, she's really single, but I warn you, she doesn't do dates or relationships."

"Ugh," the girl groaned as she started to walk away. "That's disappointing."

Little did you know Wanda would be flirting with the blonde girl later, and was only rejected by your telltale. It was never your intention anyway. You were too drunk and angry that you forgot it wasn't a nice thing to do. Still, being drunk wasn't a valid excuse to tell bad things about people behind their backs.

You didn't put much thought on it after a while when your friends pulled you to the dance floor. It was only then when Wanda came dashing towards you and called you a prick cock blocker, when you realized you had done something wrong.

She screamed the offending words at you during a time when the music wasn't too loud, making everyone's heads turned at the commotion, turned at the two of you.

Wanda was completely upset, more upset than you had seen before. You tried to speak but she hurriedly left, bumping her shoulder intentionally against yours on the way.

You made a run after her, ignoring Pepper's questions about what was happening.

"Wanda!" You called out once you were both outside the house. There were fewer people in the backyard, most of them drunk and oblivious of the ongoing problem you both were having.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Wanda snapped at you as soon as you reached her and attempted to grab her wrist.

"Wands, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that-"

"Do you even think before you act?" she hissed, jerking your hand away as if it burned her.

"I'm sorry, okay," you pleaded, close to crying. "Don't be mad... I just told her you don't do relationships-"

"It's not your business to do that!" she shouted exasperatedly, shaking her head as she cursed.

Then all the frustrations of Wanda ignoring you for weeks suddenly came back. "Why? Because you're planning to start one with her?"

"What if I wanted to?!" Wanda stepped away from you, clutching her cape tighter around her body. "I am still capable to have commitments."

Wanda was right. What if she wanted to try. What if it really depends with the person.

What if Wanda didn't just want it to be you just like you didn't want it to be Christine.

Then she muttered, leaning her face closer to yours. "Stop being someone in my life that you're not."

The look in Wanda's eyes was what made you promise to yourself you'd never ever hope again of a future with her together. You couldn't even answer back as she slowly walked away from you.

You knew you should apologize, you had crossed a line. You even thought she was walking as slow as possible so you could catch up with her and say how sorry you were. But you were too weak and hurt to follow.

Sometimes, it was better to just stay silent and let go of someone who's not good for you.

Chapter Text

Wanda had gone back to studying in the library days after your argument with her. The only downside of it was that she didn't choose to sit with you or anywhere near you. She even picked to join strangers rather than with you.

Your friends found out about what happened that weekend, when Wanda called you a cock blocker. Most of the people at the party were drunk enough to remember it, even Peter. But it was still fresh in your mind as if it just happened yesterday.

You told your friends everything, even the night you shared with her. Except the thing about her dad, of course. Promises are still promises.

They comforted you for at least five minutes, about how you're always thinking yourself as so small, then scolded you afterwards for an hour about how stupid you were, advising you to stop playing so dumb for girls like Wanda.

It was your fault anyway, crossing the line between infatuation and obsession, not being able to accept that it was just that, nothing more than a one night stand. But even when your friends insulted the way Wanda had acted towards you as if her reputation was a secret, you still defended the redhead that it still wasn't your business to share said information. You hated how stubborn you were for trying to find something good in Wanda even after everything she did.

The following days, you began seeing Wanda with that blonde girl at the party you talked to last weekend, the one whom you had told about the redhead's reputation. She had somehow become the redhead's study partner, replacing your throne. It made you  wonder if Wanda had agreed to date the woman, and dared to start a relationship with her.

But when you saw how the blonde was all touchy with Wanda in the library and Wanda only letting her, you quickly understood it. That maybe Wanda was ready, just not with you.

You avoided spending time in the library from that day on and vacated instead to the Theater and Arts club room with your friends. It wasn't as silent as the library, with members always singing and dancing along with boisterous sound played through speakers from each corner of the room, but in your process of moving on, it would have to do.

How to get over Wanda was easy once you got the hang of it. Just avoid the places you'd know she was at. Library, the southwing hallway where she usually passed, the cafeteria, the school grounds and the number of weekend parties any of the college students hosted.

Days eventually turned into weeks. Weeks turned into a month. You had even managed to live a single day without thinking of a certain redhead. And that was a miracle. As if the absence of her helped.

From it, you learned two things. One, Wanda was just a temporary character in your life. And two, you were stupid to the point of being cringy towards her even when there wasn't anything special about the redhead. You were just too blinded to see what was actually there.

Before you knew it, it was already a week before Christmas break. You stayed at your dad's place to babysit your stepsiblings that weekend so as to have a valid excuse when Tony persistently invited you to a party last minute. He insisted that if you had indeed moved on from Wanda, then her presence wouldn't affect you anymore.

You tried to defend yourself that you had. The university wasn't that huge so there would always be chances that the two of you would bump into each other, such as but not limited to, your awkward encounter at the third floor comfort room when Peter had ruined your shirt as he carelessly toppled over your cup of coffee so you had to get rid of it and Wanda was washing her hands when you entered the room, you two having brief glances at each other where tight smiles were mutually exchanged.

Or that one time during lunch when you almost had a row with the redhead that she could have the remaining orange juice at the counter you both tried to reach for and her arguing back that you got there first so you get to have it, ending with you saying you liked to drink pineapple juice anyway on that day.

You had moved on. Or that was what you tried to convince yourself.

Your phone buzzed on the center table as you watched your stepsiblings dance together on the Dance Dance Revolution pad in front of the television, asking you to watch them beat their highest score yet. You had slouched yourself on the couch from the tiredness of trying to match their energy but they were just built different.

What's up?

The text message was from Christine. You and her had been texting for weeks now. It started when Loki was trying to find a specific inventory listing and you had no idea where Christine had kept it, so you looked for her contact number in the store's files to message her. But the redhead only ended up teasing you about it, that Loki had already texted her and she had already replied to him, so there was no other reason for you to send her a message really, rather than actually getting the chance to talk to her.

You took a picture of Johnny and Sue dancing like the perfect pair in front of you and sent it to the redhead. Stuck with these gremlins.

Tiptoeing around the topic of courting and other related stuff, you and Christine had managed to reach that level where you were both comfortable being yourselves around each other. You pretended not to notice how her touch would linger a lot longer than normal or invade your personal space. You didn't even fight not to look when she got her office shirt drenched with soda thrown at her by a rude customer, and she gave a show of slowly undressing in front of you.

Can I join? I have a very reputable score at DDR.

A smile crept on your face. Thinking that you needed a teammate to beat your siblings, you gave Christine your address.

Johnny and Sue were unaffected and even welcomed the redhead into their battlefield, even discussing with her about sportsmanship and stuff they learned from Dad.

But not even a minute after Christine started the game, they only ate their words. The redhead had beaten their highest score, even doubled it when she chose the most difficult level there was in the game. You weren't much help in pairs so you decided to grant her the solo act. You and Christine must had exhausted the kids as they finally sought a battle break after three songs.

That night, you ordered pepperoni pizza for dinner while putting the kids' favorite movie, Inside Out, on play. You had no problem watching it for the hundredth time because it was also your favorite. Throughout the movie night/dinner, you gave a scoop of ice cream each to Johnny and Sue. Unknowingly though, Christine had also been giving them fresh scoop when you were in the bathroom for a moment and they lied to her how you just gave them only half a scoop.

You tried not to mind about how cute Christine was around your siblings as if they were hers, comfortable on first meeting. No, you didn't even mind it when Sue said how nice your girlfriend was before heading upstairs to bed and how red both of yours and Christine's faces were.

When the kids had been finally put to bed, you and the redhead continued to watch the movie in the living room. But the movie was soon forgotten in the background as you had began chatting with Christine about Loki's girlfriend visiting the store earlier in her shift. Topics were then being switched from office rumors to favorite food, from favorite food to the most embarrassing thing that happened in your life, then to favorite movies, music, bands. You didn't even realize an hour has passed.

"God, I really love Ringo, he's very underappreciated," Christine said, when you started to talk about The Beatles, her favorite band. She was leaning the side of her body on the couch as she faced you instead of the television, her arms hugging her knees.

"No, he's not, I mean everyone literally says they love Ringo but in reality, they just prefer Paul," you explained, turning to see the look on her face to tell you were right. "Come to think of it, he's the best guitarist in the band."

"What about you then?" she asked, making you avert your eyes back at the television. "What's your favorite song of them?"

"I have a long list... She Loves You, Yesterday, I Feel Fine, ohh and Twist and Shout, man, that's a good classic," you sighed, not realizing Christine had her eyes on you the entire time.

"I love your favorite song too," she softly said, making you turn back to her, then leaned closer.

"Which one?"

Christine swallowed a gulp then licked her lips before she replied, your eyes following the swift movement. "Lunar One by Seventeen Evergreen... It doesn't even have that much lyrics but it really moves me."

"Wait, I have convinced my dad to buy the vinyl record of that one." Then you quickly stood up and ran to the middle of the room.

"So you're the person who bought the only record in the store," she teased, making you laugh. She then straightened from her seat as you set up and played the record on the machine, hurriedly turning off the television.

In space rock, he went up, in smoke for the crowd
With lunar ideas he got lost with pinball eyes and lots to see

"I've first heard this song when I watched the movie Bandslam, I was just a kid back then," you whispered as you took the seat beside her. The music played in the background, filling the silence of the night.

"Is that the one with the younger Vanessa Hudgens?" Christine asked, voice hushed too.

"Yeah, that one...," you answered, smiling at her. "I always have a thing with movie soundtracks, don't tell Loki, though."

Christine laughed as she zipped her mouth close. "Secret's safe with me... And you're not alone. I have a lot of film soundtracks as my playlists too."

You chuckled in disbelief. "Really? Like what movie?"

She scoffed. "A number, Y/n... 500 Days of Summer, Love, Rosie, come on, there's plenty..."

"And series too, like-"

"The Umbrella Academy!" You both said at the same time, breaking into fits of silent laughter as you listened to the song.

Hey, what a funny face
What a messed up place
Won't you take me down
Everyday 

"I like that part," Christine cooed. "What part of the movie did they play it?"

"When one of the characters taught the main lead how to kiss," you muttered back. "It was hilarious yet I found the song amazing, I immediately searched it afterwards."

You closed your eyes to the beat of the song, and mouthed the lyrics, hands mimicking as if you were beating the snare drums and the cymbals.

Hey, what a pretty face
What a messed up place
Won't you take me away
Everyday

"I hope you can forgive me." Her sudden voice made you open your eyes in confusion. She looked at you like you hung up the moon and stars in the sky, realizing then she had always looked at you like that. That she saw you. That you existed.

"Why are you apologizing?" you asked, a frown on your face.

"Because of what I'm about to do," she uttered, barely a whisper.

Christine leaned forward and pressed her lips on yours, her left hand cupping the side of your face to hold you in place.

Butterflies. You felt butterflies.

As quick as it happened, she immediately pulled away. "I'm sorry... It's just, I can no longer go on wondering what you taste like and not kiss you-"

But you stopped her ramblings as you pulled her back into another kiss, lips slotted perfectly into each other. A kiss that only deepened when your hand went around the back of her neck while hers fisted against the collar of your shirt. Her tongue immediately demanded entry and you let her in, earning a soft moan from the redhead. She tasted of sweet vanilla, probably from the ice cream you had from dinner.

This must be what it should feel like. Falling together.

And you craved for more, you craved for Christine.

It didn't take long when she began to straddle on your lap, kisses turning desperate as her fingers threaded through your hair, messing it up. You only jumped apart when you heard an Ew! coming from Johnny and Sue hiding up the stairs. "Y/n and Christine, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!"

They only stopped teasing when your Dad and Jane finally arrived home, being scolded about staying up so late. Your cheeks even got as red as Christine's hair when the grownups shook her hand in greeting, never expecting you to have guest around.

After minutes of introduction and small talk, they finally let the two of you go back to the university. Christine even gave you a lift back to your dorm, all the while avoiding the topic about the unexpected makeout session at your dad's house. And you thought she'd never bring it up until you reached your dorm building and you attempted to climb out of her car.

"I don't want to pressure you to start anything with me," the redhead started. "I just want to let you know that I like how it feels when you're around... We can do it at your own pace."

A thought occurred to you. That maybe you were just looking at the wrong kind of love before. And now, your eyes were finally open. And you see her. You finally see her.

You smiled at Christine as you leaned in and placed a small peck on her cheek. "Thank you for a wonderful night... I enjoy being around you too... You.... You made me happy tonight... And not just me, but also my brother and sister..."

Christine then held your face, thumb gently brushing your skin. "You have no idea how much you've made me happier, Y/n... Now, go on, or I won't be able to let you go."

You let out a nervous laugh as you nodded, she only followed suit after biting her lower lip.

As you prepared yourself to sleep that night, reminiscing the ghost of Christine's lips on yours, someone knocked on your door.

A part of you hoped that the redhead had come back to visit you, but it was to your surprise it was a different one on the other side.

"Wanda?"

Chapter Text

"Sweetie, dear! Come, let's get you home," your mother called out to you. You cheerfully grabbed the hand she held out, while licking the ice cream you had in your other hand.

"Mommy, can we also get one for Dad? He likes the rocky road flavored one, " you asked, but seconds only turned longer as you both kept on walking, never receiving a response from your mother.

"Mom?" You called out again, but the woman holding your hand didn't budge. So you tugged her around to face you, and your mother's face was all covered in blood, eyes seemingly gouging out from their sockets, jaw somehow hanging lopsidedly, detached from the rest of her face.

"What were you saying, honey?" was the last thing you heard from her before you shrieked, the cone of ice cream falling on the ground, ruining your shoes. But instead of white cream from your favorite vanilla flavor, colors of red splattered all over you.

"Y/n, hey, wake up." The sound of a familiar voice pulled you from your deep stupor. Concerned green eyes met yours as you opened them, the owner's hand cupping your clammy face. "Are you okay? You were screaming in your sleep."

You quickly sat on your bed when you realized Wanda was hovering above you, kneeling on your side. Running your fingers through your hair as you nodded, you inched yourself a space away from the redhead, the close proximity making you forget how to breathe. "Sorry, yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

"Some nightmare you got there," she went on, softly chuckling. While you tried to remember what Wanda was doing in your room, on your own bed, wearing your baby Yoda t-shirt, the redhead let out a panicked curse when she checked the time on her phone.

"Shit, it's almost seven in the morning, I have an early class," she said, stumbling from the bed as she tried to get off. Then she went to look at you and smiled. "I... I better get going then."

You breathed through your mouth, still recovering from your nightmare that you seemed to have forgotten, replaced by Wanda's presence. "O-kay."

When Wanda was about to step out of the door, she turned around and stuttered, "Y-Y/n, about last night-"

The words last night were suddenly the switch you needed to make you remember what happened. "You don't have to worry about it, Wands. You were drunk. People do stupid things when they're drunk..."

"Oh... y-yeah." Wanda let out a nervous laugh, hand instinctively going around the back of her neck. "Thank you, Y/n... See you later!"

The redhead hurriedly left the room, leaving you stunned about the entire thing. Your phone buzzing on the bedside table immediately broke you out from your trance.

Good morning, sleeping beauty!

It was from Christine, the other redhead. You slumped yourself back on the bed as you groaned, contemplating on how things just got complicated.

If you didn't just open the door for Wanda, then nothing would have happened. If you could have just made out with Christine in the car, or stay at her dorm for a while, then Wanda would just be knocking on an empty room.

A lot of things happened last night, but having sex with Wanda wasn't one of them.

"So, is there a reason why we're suddenly back in the library?" Tony asked the moment he arrived with Pepper, taking the seats in front of you and Peter.

It was Monday afternoon when you invited your friends to study back in the library. And although the reason that you have a lot of exams on that week and the noise from the Theater and Arts club room preparing for the weekend holidays show would have been a solid excuse, it wasn't because of that why you decided to go back to your turf.

"Wanda and Y/n slept together again," Peter wistfully announced, making you punch his shoulder, immediately regretting on sharing said information to him. "Ow!"

"It wasn't like that...," you explained to the confused glares given to you by Tony and Pepper. "We just slept... We did nothing like what you are thinking right now, Stark."

"Okay, no need to be defensive," he replied, taking out Pepper's book from his backpack.

"It's just...," you started. "I mean it's like what you said, if I have really moved on from Wanda, then I shouldn't even be hiding from her, right?"

Pepper butted in. "But that still doesn't explain the sleepover with Wanda-"

She was immediately shushed by her boyfriend when the redhead in question stepped inside the library. Tony quickly pulled Pepper as they transferred to another table, making Peter whisper a complaint towards them.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" Wanda asked you and Peter, making the two of you jump. Peter stuttered a reply you couldn't understand and you just simply nodded back at the redhead.

After a moment of complete silence, Peter made a silly excuse that he was suddenly hungry and he might head to the cafeteria to get himself a sandwich, glaring your way when you kicked his shins, knowing what he was doing.

And then you and Wanda were left alone.

She forced a shy smile towards you, making you remember what the redhead had said last night. You tried not to think about it, that she was just drunk, unaware of the things coming out of her mouth.

"Where's your girlfriend?" you asked, seeing that Wanda seemed to settle herself down, piles of books before her.

"What girlfriend?" She only looked at you in confusion as she stopped turning the pages of her book.

"The blonde girl, the one I-"

"Oh, you mean Natasha?" she finished, smirking, making your stomach churn with an unidentified feeling. "Why? Are you jealous?"

This was why you couldn't trust the redhead, her attitude that you thought was cute before irked you now. You only shaked your head as you went back to study. You didn't have time for this.

"She's not my girlfriend," Wanda quickly added, more like a nervous squeak. Your eyes drifted back to her and gone was the smirk she sported seconds ago. "And she's not really my type... I mean, I said no to her and she couldn't just seem to understand..."

Wanda went on explaining herself but you couldn't even be bothered to listen, knowing she was unintentionally implying you were also like Natasha, who couldn't take no as an answer. Well, now, it was the number one word in your vocabulary.

But the next words that came out of the redhead's mouth made you more confused. "... And I don't wanna do that anymore.. I'm really trying to change my reputation..."

You gave her a brief glance when she turned silent, and Wanda appeared to be waiting for your reply, eyes never leaving yours or not going back to her book. But you only went back to reading.

You heard Wanda take a long sigh before she broke the silence. "Y/n... Did... Did I s-say something to you last night?"

Memories quickly swam in front of your vision, immediately starting on the time stamp when someone knocked on your door as you prepared yourself to sleep yesterday, as if you had been replaying the same time stamp for the nth time already.

"Wanda?"

The redhead didn't even wait for your invite and immediately dashed forward into your room, your eyes only widened in both surprise and frustration, smelling alcohol emanating from the girl.

"What are you doing here?" you asked as you closed your door. Wanda then moved closer towards you, almost got tripped by her own foot. You hadn't seen the redhead this close for so long that you forgot how green her eyes were.

Her words slurred as she opened her mouth. "I'm so sorry... I am so sorry about what happened at the Halloween party... I didn't mean to say those words, I never meant to hurt you-"

"Wands, hey." It didn't take you long to realize she was drunk as hell as she stumbled forward. Fortunately, you caught her, holding her up by her arms. The building didn't have elevators. How did she even manage to climb the stairs towards third floor where your dorm room was located? 

"I was just angry because you thought I can never do relationships...," she went on, as you helped her walk towards your bed to sit. But she only stopped you, holding up her finger before your face. "I can, Y/n... I can be your girlfriend, wait, no, scratch that, I can be your wife, let's go to Vegas and marry-"

"Wanda, stop, hey," you shushed her out, your cheeks reddening on her confession. "You're drunk and saying nonsense, okay? Just relax, here, sit down, do you want me to get you some water?"

But then Wanda grabbed your face and captured your mouth in an insistent kiss. You might have kissed her back unknowingly but quickly pulled away, her ass falling unto the mattress.

"Don't you like me anymore?" she asked, pouting like a child. Not like this. Not when she had caused you too much pain already.

"Wanda-"

As if she could read your mind, she went on. "I feel so guilty for ignoring you for weeks... God, it was so hard to control myself around you," she went on as she attempted to stand and cup your face between her hands, her thumb tracing the outline of your lips. "Especially when you wore my jacket, fuck, you looked so much more beautiful in my clothes-"

Wanda leaned in for another kiss but you only pushed her away, making her stumble back on your bed. "Wands-"

"And at the party, when I saw how cute you were in your turtle costume, I just wanted to make you scream while my head was between your legs-"

"Wanda, stop!" Your face was as red as her hair.

Wanda covered her mouth with her hand as she stopped a giggle. "Shit, sorry, was that too much? I just miss you, Y/n... You're never around in the library anymore... Are you avoiding me? Of course, you are... It's my fault, I keep on pushing you away-"

"You're drunk," you said, stepping away from the redhead as you closed your eyes, massaging your temple from an incoming headache. "And you're just guilty, you don't have to lie-"

"I'm not lying," Wanda exclaimed exasperatedly. "I can't stop thinking about you, Y/n, I got so scared because I've never felt like this towards anyone before... Don't you believe me? It's not like this with other people-"

Opening your eyes, you interjected. "Why can't you tell me this when you're sober then?"

What you said made Wanda turn silent. You had a point. You couldn't just keep doing this with her. You couldn't just keep doing this to yourself. You wanted someone to be sure of you, not when they were just lonely.

You only sighed, pretending it didn't bother you when it was already tearing you apart. "Wands, we're not good for each other..."

Turning around from her, you went to get some clothes in your dresser that she could change into because she reeked of alcohol. Wanda was compliant as you helped her change and you swore she quickly wiped some tears from her eyes.

Finally managing to make Wanda lay on your bed, she didn't let go from the clutch she had on you, making you fall down with her, your body on top of the redhead.

"I'm sorry, Y/n...," she muttered. "I never wanted to hurt you."

"It's okay." You forced a weak smile as you braced your hands to pull away. "Perhaps, we can be friends, you know... Maybe in another universe, I'd say yes-"

And then Wanda groaned as she complained, fisting the front of your shirt to pull you back. "But I want you in this universe... I want you, Y/n... not only as a friend..."

"Wands," you interrupted, cupping her face. Your touch stopped her ramblings as she leaned into it. "Whatever you're feeling, it will pass, okay?"

"Teach me...," she gasped. "Teach me how to forget about you the way you forgot about me."

You heard her sniffle but you could just be imagining it as you slowly pulled away from her, setting aside the dirty laundry. Minutes must had passed before you lay down on the bed with her, ready to sleep.

Thinking that Wanda was already asleep, you almost jumped out of the bed when she snuggled closer into you, laying her head on your underarm. "Please don't fall in love with someone else... Please stay while I figure myself out..."

You were about to answer back that you couldn't promise her that but her cute snores stopped you.

"Did I s-say something to you last night?"

You were back in the library, sitting in front of the redhead who hurt you, made you move on, and then ruined you again by her drunken confession. You couldn't go on living like this. Not when Christine was already in the picture. Not when waiting for Wanda to figure her feelings out would only cause you more pain that you had tried so hard to bury in the past. You shouldn't feel that bad for letting Wanda go, she didn't give that much effort to keep you.

You tried to give Wanda the benefit of the doubt, that she didn't really remember anything because she was drunk. So you eventually shook your head no.

"No, you didn't say anything...," you answered, trying not to break. "You were drunk and you fell asleep..."

Wanda seemed to bit back a sob as she nodded, avoiding your gaze. "Yep, yeah... Silly me..."

"Can I sit here?" The blonde girl named Natasha suddenly made an appearance, already pulling up the chair beside Wanda. It broke whatever moment you and Wanda had.

When you could see Wanda already shaking her head no towards the woman, you only smiled weakly at Natasha and nodded. "The more, the merrier."

Chapter Text

Christine and Wanda had a lot of differences. Everyone knew the latter redhead seemed like a badass while the former was a sweet witty individual, no one would think it was completely opposite in actual interaction.

You had never thought Christine to have a strong personality around other people. You had first considered it normal when she fought back to rude customers in Loki's store, but when she almost got into a fight because a stranger had been flirting with you in the cinema while you queue for popcorns on a Thursday night, you had been proven wrong.

You felt like a damsel in distress, being transported to safety in Christine's arms. And the movie, which was supposed to be a horrifying one, only ended up with her roaring in laughter at the bloody scenes, making you mesmerized by the way she reacted to things. But to give her credit, the movie wasn't even that scary. In fact, you just availed Loki's purchased tickets to said movie when his girlfriend ditched on him so it wouldn't be put to waste.

Although the absurdity of the movie was soon forgotten when Christine made out with you the rest of the time, grateful that your seats were hidden from other viewers. You and the redhead promised to take it as slow as possible, but when chances were present, Christine would just grab it.

Like that one time you and her were kissing in Loki's store during shift hours when no customers were around. She would just pull you to the nearest corner where the store's cameras wouldn't see and make out with you until you heard the bell from the door, signaling incoming customers.

When Loki found out, he wasn't surprised. He just nodded, laughed and told you not to have sex on his desk, bringing redness to both of your faces. You and Christine weren't even official yet, but you two were already acting as one.

Of course, you couldn't help but feel guilty because your heart was still occupied by the other redhead. It would seem that the Wanda in you wouldn't just give up her throne. So you tried to give what was available to Christine, a space in your heart. Willingly.

You were torn between the two redheads, especially when Wanda had gone back to your regular study sessions in the library since that forbidden confession. The admission that you had been trying to forget.

But every time Wanda's smile was directed at you, you kept on thinking what if you just said yes. What if you just played dumb and agreed to her proposition instead? What if you both went to Vegas and got married? Would you be happy? Or just the same?

If it wasn't for Natasha who thankfully kept on appearing every time Wanda was around, the latter would start bringing the topic back on track.

After the movie, when Christine held your hand during the walk back to the university, your eye caught something at one of the boutique stores you passed along the way. It was a vinyl record of the band Queen signed by Freddie Mercury himself, immediately remembering Wanda's dad. You asked Christine to wait for you outside while she went to check some items from a nearby booth, just to confirm if the signature was legit. When you came back after you made the purchase, the redhead gave you a peck on your lips and teased, "Did you just buy something for me inside and hide it?"

What she said made you guilty, attempting to cover it with a nervous laugh as you went along. You felt so bad that you hadn't bought a Christmas gift for the redhead yet. You just didn't want to buy material things that you knew wouldn't be special.

So later that night, you decided to make Christine a mixtape of all her favorite songs, sending a text to Loki if he could set aside the old cassette player in the store for you to purchase the next day and him promising the device wouldn't go anywhere anyway.

It was a classic move but you hoped it would make the redhead happy at least. You slept on your desk that night listening to Finally // beautiful stranger by Halsey, one of Christine's favorite songs that she had once danced slowly into in the store when she thought nobody was looking.

It was finally the last day of class before Christmas break started. You went to visit Wanda in the library that afternoon to give your gift to her dad. But when you saw Wanda and Natasha arguing at one of the tables in the farthest corner, you decided to leave them for a while and sat at an empty table instead. What could they be fighting about?

You hadn't seen Natasha like that before as if she looked more upset than the redhead. When the librarian eventually shushed them out, they finally stopped. With nothing to do because you weren't really intending to study that day, you decided to borrow books from the counter instead to have something to read during the break.

When you had listed the books in the library's logbook, Natasha accidentally bumped into you as she hurriedly dashed towards the exit. Recognizing you when she apologized, she muttered, "You were right, Wanda doesn't do dates, she just fucks you and leaves."

Then the blonde was gone, making you wonder if she and Wanda slept together, causing the argument. A familiar feeling made itself known in your gut, even when you already knew you had no right to feel these things. You shouldn't get jealous. Wanda was allowed to sleep with anyone she wanted, especially when you had rejected her advances. Drunken advances.

The library staff handed you the books you borrowed, breaking your thoughts. You quickly shook the feelings away and went to do the reason why you were there in the first place.

You hesitantly took the seat in front of Wanda, who still looked upset and shaken from the fight.

"Hey," you greeted, a weak smile on your face.

"What do you want, Y/n?"

You chuckled softly. "Okay, there's no need to be hostile-"

"Sorry, I just...," Wanda began then stopped as she went to look at you. "Do you ever feel like the world is against your happiness?"

You wondered what really happened with Natasha to make the redhead think like that. You slowly answered, "Sometimes... Although, sometimes I may just be overthinking... Why? Is this about Natasha? I thought you two are getting along-"

"Fuck, what are you doing here, Y/n?" she sighed in a defeated manner. "Just... just leave me alone... I don't want to be your friend..."

Your brows furrowed. Does she remember? "Why?"

"Just...," she replied, stumbling with her words. "It d-doesn't need to have a reason-"

"-Was this because of what happened last Sunday night?" you helped, knowing eventually one of you would have to let it out to breathe, to have a peace of mind.

"Look... I'm sorry I got drunk and knocked on your door, okay?" Wanda went on. "It won't happen again... I promise..."

Why wouldn't Wanda just try to admit now?

Now when she was sober, that she wasn't drunk. You had given her multiple chances too, to prove to you that you were still in her mind even when alcohol wasn't in her system. But the real question was, would you even say yes? Would you trust her? It's not even love without trust.

So you just ended up nodding, accepting your fate. "Okay, I just wanted to greet you a happy Christmas before the break... And invite you to a party tonight... Tony will be hosting-"

She only scoffed. "What game are you playing at, Y/n?"

"What?" You gave her a scowl. "I'm just trying to be a friend-"

"We're not friends...," she stated, rolling her eyes, tired. "And I'm leaving early tomorrow anyway to visit my mom and brother, so I need not to be drunk tonight..."

"Okay," was the only thing you could utter back, knowing you could only be Wanda's girlfriend or nothing at all. Not even a friend.

You then avoided the redhead's gaze and went to grab something from your backback, slipping said item on the table. "I saw this vinyl record signed by Freddie himself. The moment I saw it, I immediately remembered your dad. And I just wanted you to give this to him. For Christmas, you know."

You forced another weak smile her way and bid goodbye, wanting to leave the place as quick as possible.

Tony hosted a massive party that night, after Pepper's show from the Theater and Arts club, making him realize he'd be hosting more parties for the months to come. Since his parents were away for a last minute vacation before Christmas, he had the mansion all to himself.

But you had no intention to stay for long, not when you received a text message from Christine that she couldn't come to the party because her parents suddenly wanted her to go home that very night. After handing your gifts to your friends, ignoring their complaints thrown at you, you hurriedly hailed a taxi on the street, disregarding the sliver of something red you caught in the corners of your eye.

When Christine opened the door of her dorm room, her surprised expression made you nervous all of a sudden. "Hey."

"Hi...," she greeted back, opening the door wider to let you in. "I didn't think you'd come."

"I... I have to see you before you leave," you stammered, stepping inside her room. The room looked homey with two beds, figuring out she had a roommate but wasn't present at the moment. "I have to give you your gift."

Christine's shoulders deflated as you placed the gift in her hands. "Oh, Y/n, you shouldn't have... I... I don't have anything for you... I was thinking maybe I could give it next year after the holidays-"

"It's okay, Chris," you interrupted her ramblings. "With the number of gifts you've given to me, it's incomparable-"

"Don't be silly, what is it?" She then went to excitedly open the gift.

"It's nothing much, really...," you answered, nerves spiking up, knowing the gift you had wasn't really much as she looked into it. "Well, I thought I'd give it to you at Loki's store tomorrow, I even asked Loki to set aside the old cassette player but I could also lend you mine-"

"Awww, this is really sweet, Y/n," Christine cooed as she went through the list of songs. "How did you even know I love Finally // beautiful stranger by Halsey?"

When you only smiled at her, she then teased, laughing. "Have you been stalking me during shift hours, Y/n?"

You let out another nervous chuckle.

Christine went to stand and walked towards her cabinet where she pulled out an old stereo. "What? I'm not a grandma..." she giggled as she played the tape.

Your eyes, so crisp, so green
Sour apple baby, but you taste so sweet
You got hips like Jagger and two left feet
And I wonder if you'd like to meet

"You know," she began, swaying slowly in the room. "It has been my favorite because this was the song that was playing in Loki's store on your job interview, the first time I saw you."

Your heart melted, thinking you didn't deserve Christine at all. "I hadn't noticed."

Oh, we're dancin' in my livin' room
And up come my fists

She then walked back towards you, swaying her hips as she wrapped her arms around your shoulders, meeting your lips in a soft kiss, a silent thank you.

That I've never seen a mouth that I would kill to kiss
And I'm terrified, but I can't resist

"I'm gonna miss you," Christine whispered, her lips ghosting against yours, face so close to each other. You pressed your foreheads together as your hands ended on her waist.

"Maybe I'd come visit you-" you suggested, but was only stopped when she pulled away her head.

"You would?"

You nodded. "If you want me to..."

She then let out a sigh as she completely stepped away from you and sat back on her bed. "Y/n..."

"Mm?" She looked so sad that you couldn't even paint her face.

Her piercing eyes stared right at you, looking through your soul, pleading. "What are we?"

But I think it's finally, finally, finally, finally, finally safe
For me to fall

"What?"

Closing her eyes, Christine went on as she bowed her head down. "What is this? What are we doing?"

"I...."

"And I'm not really pressuring you," she butted in."But these past few days, I.... I realize that I don't think I'll ever handle it if you won't... if you won't ever be ready with me.."

You stopped me in my tracks and put me right in my place
Used to think that lovin' meant a painful chase

You quickly went to kneel before her as you lifted her chin up to look at you, squeezing her hand in your other. "Hey, hey, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry-"

The redhead only shook her head. "It's not you... but I... I just... Y/n, I promise I'll be good to you... I will treat you the way you deserve to be treated... My sun will rise and set with you... I will never hurt you-"

"What if I'm the one who hurts you? I don't want to hurt you-"

"Then don't..." She leaned forward as she rested her forehead against yours. "Love me instead..."

You nervously gulped a lump in your throat. You had been waiting for this moment all your life. But why does it feel like you're doing something wrong?

"It's... I...."

The pleading from Wanda asking you not to love someone else while she figured herself out ringing inside your head like a harsh reminder. But you couldn't promise her that anymore. You couldn't let someone as amazing as Christine go, for something that was strong yet uncertain.

The redhead before you gently cupped your face between her hands. "Please make me officially yours as you are mine... Please make me the happiest girl in this world and become my girlfriend..."

Beautiful stranger, here you are in my arms and I know

A tear strolled down your cheek. A happy one. Then you eagerly nodded, voice cracking as you replied, "Y-yes..."

"Yes?" Her tone a pitch higher.

You smiled as you nodded again, more sure. "Yes."

Then she quickly hugged you as she cried happily in your arms, and you hugged her back as tight, promising to never let her go and to fully give her the throne in your heart.

And I think it's finally, finally, finally, finally, finally safe
For me to fall

Your phone buzzed in your jacket, but you couldn't be bothered to check as you and Christine ended up on her bed, making out until her dad arrives to get her home, unaware of the notification of Peter's message on the screen. Did you leave the party already? Wanda's here now, looking for you.

Chapter Text

You finally got yourself a girlfriend. You.

The awkward hopeless romantic overthinker you.

And this was supposed to be what you wanted. To be chased like this. To be loved like this.

But getting into a relationship with someone a day before she would leave far away to spend the holidays was a wrong move on your part and significantly hers. Maybe the redhead just didn't expect you'd say yes to her, even you yourself was surprised.

Still in bliss, you must had slept on Christine's dorm room until morning the following day. It wasn't because the makeout session you and the redhead did last night had gone so heavy to the point that she was close to stripping her clothes off if not due to her father's text message, saying he was already heading upstairs to her dorm. It was all lightning blur after that.

You had no idea why but she was kind of in a hurry when she said goodbye to you and decided to just meet her father downstairs, so you didn't really get to walk her and meet her dad. You didn't put much thought into it and must had fallen asleep in her sheets after waiting for a couple of minutes.

Christine wasn't even gone longer than twelve hours and you already missed her as you went back to your dorm that morning. Hesitant to send a message to her, you were scared that she'd find you clingy on your first day of being her girlfriend, sooner regretting ever asking you.

But after an hour of contemplation, you finally decided to begin drafting her a message. It was only then when you found Peter's text messages he sent out to you last night.

Did you leave the party already? Wanda's here now, looking for you. 9:08pm

An hour after that, there was another one.

She's still here, just so you know. 10:15pm

I find it weird that she rejected Valkyrie's advances... I mean, come on, we're talking about Valkyrie here. 10:47pm

She hasn't left the couch for two hours, Y/n. 11:32pm

Okay, I think she left 11:54pm

False alarm. I saw her drinking a beer in the kitchen. Are you not gonna come back at all? 11:58pm

That was the last of it. A couple of others were about Pepper wanting to meet up later for a small get together before she would go home for Christmas.

Was it wrong to invite the other redhead to Tony's party last night without you there?

But to be completely honest, you didn't think Wanda would go to the party at all. You thought she wouldn't want to be your friend or had anything to do with you after all that transpired between you.

You tried not to think about it but you couldn't help wonder what if you just stayed a minute longer in the party. Would you be texting Wanda now instead of Christine?

You slumped yourself on your bed face first, groaning into the sheets as you burrowed your nose to stop breathing. After a moment of gathering your bearings, you straightened up and reminded yourself not to think about Wanda that way anymore. You have a perfectly beautiful girlfriend miles away from you, who's going to miss you for weeks to come. And giving the redhead a time of your day,  someone who didn't even care a single thing about you, was not worth it.

So you finally sent Christine a good morning message and hoped that she got home safe last night. Then you prepared for your regular shift at Loki's store that day, knowing your boss would need you more with no Christine around.

The holidays was a busy season, lots of customers asking and buying vintage stuff as last-minute presents in the store. You were so caught up with trying to update the inventory listing once you had the chance of fewer customers, that you didn't even notice it was Wanda in front of you.

"Hi! Welcome to Odinson's Timely Treasures! What can I help you with tod-" Your voice faltered when you checked to see who it was.

"Hey," was all Wanda could utter, a shy smile on her face as she gave a small wave. She was carrying something in her other hand but you couldn't see it from the angle of the counter.

There was a small pause before you finally found your voice. "I thought you're visiting your mom."

"I decided to stay a bit longer," she hurriedly answered, licking her lips nervously every now and then.

"Good to know," you replied as you went back to do the listing, ignoring the redhead.

"Y/n?"

"Mm?"

"I just want to say how sorry I am....," Wanda started, her voice so small that you thought the song Supposed To Be by Tom Odell blaring from the store's speakers overpowered hers. "I d-didn't mean to be so rude to you yesterday... I shouldn't have done that... I guess I'm still trying to be someone I hadn't been for a long time..."

What did she mean by that? But you didn't even spare the redhead a glance until she placed a box on the counter before you.

"What's this?" Your brows furrowed in confusion.

"A gift," she said. "More like a peace offering / Christmas gift / a thank you for making my Dad happy with the vinyl record you got him."

Opening it, you saw cupcakes inside topped with colorful frosting. It wasn't the cupcakes your stepmom had always bought for you at some cute store. So you immediately wondered where Wanda got them.

"You said you l-like cupcakes," she explained, stuttering with her words. "S-so I might have gone to my f-friend's house and borrow their kitchen-"

"You baked them?" Your eyes widened, thinking about how Wanda would even remember what you said about liking cupcakes.

Wanda only nodded back. "I just... I know it's... I know I've been a jerk lately, I just don't trust anyone that easily and I-"

"I have a girlfriend," you let out rather quickly.

You didn't even know why you blurted it out, trying to ignore the hurt and disappointment crossing the redhead's face for a second. And the song playing in the background wasn't helping.

And oh it's tough now
'Cause love always, love always is unkind

But you had to do it. You had to let Wanda know at least. Just like ripping off a bandaid.

It took her a while before she finally broke the silence. "Oh... okay."

"It's just recent actually...," you went on, wanting to dig yourself a grave and be consumed by the ground already.

"Well, good for you then...," Wanda added. "But I'm not really asking you to be my girlfriend... There's no need to be defensive, alright?"

When you finally saw the small smirk on her face, it suddenly dawned on you that she wasn't hurt, she was thinking you were just protecting yourself from the redhead.

"You don't believe me, do you?" you asked, sighing. "Do you think I'd never get a girlfriend?"

"No, no, it's not that...," Wanda explained herself, stepping closer to the counter. "It's just.... You don't have to make excuses just for me to run away from you... I'm not gonna run away now, especially now..."

You only scowled at her, shaking your head in disbelief. "Have a good day, Wanda."

You then turned around and hurriedly made your way to the staff room when she jumped over the counter, violating every store rule in the city, and grabbed ahold of your wrist.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," Wanda quickly apologized, panting. "It was a mean joke... I believe you, okay? I just... I just want us to be friends..."

Meeting her gaze, you found her green mesmerizing eyes staring back at you, the ones you fell in love with.

"It's just...," she went on, letting your hand go. "When I'm around you, I finally feel comfortable being myself more than I've ever been my entire life... I've never been my true self lately before you came along... I do, Y/n, I do want to be your friend."

And just for a moment, just for a moment
I felt so free from all I'm supposed to be

Preventing your heart from going crazy, you reminded yourself that you have a girlfriend. Besides, you'd rather have Wanda as a friend than nothing at all.

You scoffed as you finally let out a small smile. "Are you sure?"

"What?"

"You know there's no stepping back from being my friend and being obliged to listen to all my rants and gossips. Also, you are required to give out endless of advices as inputs," you cheekily went on.

This earned a chuckle from Wanda as she answered, nodding. "I am 100% sure I want to be your friend, Y/n... And I will give you five friendly advices maximum every month..."

"Make it ten," you challenged, making the redhead laugh louder. "Plus, five favors with no questions asked."

"Six advices," she contested, grinning from ear to ear. "And two favors."

"Eight," you countered, biting your lower lip. "And three favors."

Then Wanda nodded, holding out her hand for you to shake. "Eight and three then... but non-cumulative..."

"Agreed." You smiled at her, nodding as you eagerly shook her hand.

Wanda smiled warmly back at you. "We have ourselves an agreement, then."

Becoming Wanda's friend made you finally breathe. Everything seemed to fall into place. As if a burden was lifted off from your shoulders, making you happy with the choices you had made.

When you went later to Pepper's meetup, you revealed to your friends how the two redheads had now become a part of your life, asking them to be supportive and also eventually welcome both to the group.

Peter couldn't still get over how you and Christine became lovers when you always missed out any detail about the other redhead. Pepper was glad you chose the correct and ideal one to be your girlfriend, remembering how she used to suggest it first that Christine would be perfect for you. Tony was just teasing you the entire time, redheads being your type.

The days flew past quickly and it was almost Christmas. Video calls with Christine had been scarce, and it was always nighttime when she finally had the time to talk to you about her day. You still couldn't get over the fact that she'd avoid the topic whenever you brought up wanting to go over where she lived just to visit her. But you weren't complaining when Christine would give her time to you until you found her almost snoring during your calls, not wanting to drop the call first.

You spent a day with Wanda and her Dad, ice skating in the nearby mall one day when she was allowed to take him out to a stroll. And it was both fun and happy, more challenging than the ice cream incident at the park.

Sometimes, Wanda would come visit you at Loki's store during your shift hours, bringing Chinese food for lunch. Since Christine would only call during nighttime, Wanda found it weird that you never even texted your girlfriend around her, always teasing you about it and you would defend yourself that your girlfriend was just busy and she was not imaginary.

Before Christmas day, Wanda went home to her mother and brother to spend the rest of the holidays, leaving her phone number to you. For keeping the friendship alive, she had said.

The worse part was yet to come. Now that your friends and girlfriend had been away and busy for the celebration, your nightmares had become increasingly constant.

You didn't want to tell your girlfriend about it so you told Wanda instead because she majored in Psychology, leaving out the detail about how your mother was killed in a car accident.

Wanda was your guardian angel, explaining that nightmares were mostly caused by stress or anxiety, then making you laugh afterwards as she reminded you that you had used up all your maximum eight advices during December.

Christmas day had been okay. Your father got you to stay in his house for a couple of days, Loki allowing you the days off.

Spending a lot of time with your stepsiblings could be tiresome but you managed to convince Johnny and Sue that Santa was real, even when your Dad got angry the following morning as he found muddy footprints you placed on the floor.

It almost seemed like a perfect family as you stared at the four of them watching a Christmas film that night while you secretly grabbed yourself a glass of eggnog from the refrigerator, and Jane calling out to you to hurry up for you'd miss an important scene.

It made your actual mother more mad at you in your dreams, as if she couldn't accept you had already replaced her.

You had another nightmare that night, waking up so late, you decided to send a text message to Christine, knowing eventually you should share it to her and not to the other redhead.

Are you awake?

It only took almost a minute before you got a reply. Now, I am, why? Can't sleep?

But she didn't wait for your reply when she began calling you, making you straighten up to a sit. "Hey."

"Y/n, why are you still awake?" she answered, her voice sounding sleepy as if she woke up from your text. "What's wrong?"

"Sorry for waking you up," you slowly began, your fingers fiddling on your blanket. "I just... I just want to hear your voice."

"Aww, you're really sweet, you know that...," Christine cooed dreamily. "I miss you so much."

"I miss you too...," you replied, laying back down on your bed as you stared at the ceiling. "Terribly miss you... why can't I visit you again?"

You heard Christine sigh as she moved around her bed. "My dad, well, he's not-... he already has plans throughout the holidays and you know, he's very particular-"

"I get it, Chris...," you stopped her ramblings. "I'm just gonna ruin his schedule.." You didn't  know why but you could tell there was something going on.

"I'm really sorry..."

"No, it's okay..," you hurriedly added. "I just couldn't wait to see you.. Next year seems too far..." You hesitated on telling her about your dream, so you distracted yourself by just listening to her voice.

"I know," she sighed. "I sometimes find you everywhere I go, does that make me crazy?"

You smiled at her confession, your stomach fluttering with butterflies, as you replied a soft no.

"I wish I can kiss you right now," you admitted, missing the way Christine's lips feel on yours.

You could feel her smiling as she said back. "Me too... I want to kiss you so bad, Y/n..."

"Mmm.. And make out for the rest of the night, " you went on, eyes closing as you imagined Christine beside you.

You heard a moan in the other line but you thought you were imagining it as you continued. "I also want to run my fingers through your hair... I really love your hair..."

"Yeah? What else?" It was only then when you noticed it was Christine moaning as she gasped the words.

"Chris? Are you okay?" Your eyes opened widely.

"Yeah, yeah, keep talking please," she answered, her voice hitched and breathy, making you immediately realize she was touching herself and trying to get off to the sound of your voice.

Your cheeks went flushed as you continued,  eager to please the redhead. "I want to squeeze your breasts until your nipples peak through and ask for my attention."

"Oh, fuck...," Christine whimpered, and it sent a shiver straight to your core. "Y/n, please don't stop..."

"I want to slip my hand into your pants while I wrap my mouth around one of your nipples, waking it up..," you went on. "And then I'll move my fingers into your drenched cunt..."

Christine didn't utter words anymore as she moaned your name through the speakers, you quickly silencing the volume of your phone since you weren't using earphones at the time and your family could hear.

Later through the following nights, you began using earphones and joining Christine as well. It had been your way to avoid having nightmares.

But sometimes, when the nightmares got worse, and no sexy times would compensate whatever you were feeling, your finger would just hover over Wanda's number for minutes until you found the courage to press it. You knew the redhead was still awake, now aware of her daily schedule and routines.

"Hey, what's up? It's like two in the morning, Y/n," Wanda greeted. You could hear her typing on the keyboards in the background, immediately knowing she was doing her homework.

"I..." you hesitated. "I..."

Wanda went on. "You have nightmares again, haven't you?"

"Yeah," you replied, shaking your head. Realizing she couldn't see you, you added, "Sorry, I didn't mean to call you-"

"No, it's okay, you can always call me anytime, Y/n...," she said, bringing a smile on your face. "Have I told you that my brother kissed a distant relative last New Year's eve?"

"What?"

"Pietro, my twin brother, unknowingly kissed a distant cousin of ours when the clock struck midnight," she explained, chuckling softly. "God, if only you could see my mother's face after that, it was spectacular..."

Her laughter brought a warm feeling inside you as you followed suit. You knew Wanda was distracting you with a story so you'd forget your nightmare.

And it went on for the nights that followed. She would happily take your call and calm yourself down with another bedtime story, no questions asked, knowing your upset voice already told her you were having bad dreams again.

Wanda never even brought up that you had maxed out all your favors for the month.

Chapter Text

"Oh, fuck, right there, Y/n," Christine softly moaned against your lips as she pulled away from the kiss, her nails digging harshly on your neck and shoulder. "That f-feels so good..."

With weeks of not seeing each other, the hunger between the two of you was unbearable the moment you came to visit Christine in her dorm room a day before classes would start. So it wasn't a wonder how your hand ended up inside her pants, fingers encircling around her swollen clit with eagerness.

The amount of quizzes you would have the following day didn't stop you from wanting to pleasure your girlfriend, not when she was begging like that.

If it wasn't for Christine's roommate, Yelena, barging into the room, whom you had imprinted a first impression forever, that impression being fucking the redhead in her bed, you and Christine wouldn't stop, which could only get you both more into trouble.

You guessed the honeymoon phase in the relationship would bring up the stupidity in you. You could have just waited to do the shenanigans in your readily available single dorm room. But what was done was done. And your girlfriend didn't even get to finish.

Wanda had also met up with you the following day in the library. And although you had established a strong foundation on your friendship during the holidays, the time apart physically had made the two of you shy to interact with each other.

Sometimes, you'd even find Wanda's eyes drifting towards your lips as you recounted the tale of how your friend Peter finally asked someone out from his class.

But you had no idea that being together with Christine would mean staying away from Wanda, the former surprising you on your seat with a pair of hands covering your eyes and soft chuckles filling your ears.

"Hey," you greeted as you gently pushed her hands away to see your girlfriend.

"Hi...," Christine said back, her hands now cupping your face as she pressed a quick peck on your lips. "Do you mind transferring to our table over there and meet my friends?"

You hesitantly took a glance at Wanda sitting across from you, confusion and somewhat indescribable expression written all over her face.

Nodding back to Christine, you began to stand from your seat and gather all your belongings. You bid a small 'see you later' to the other redhead as you dragged the chair back to the table, but you were only stopped when Christine didn't move on her spot.

"Aren't you gonna introduce me to your friend?" she slyly asked. And you broke out in nervous laughter because of how stupid you were to forget manners. But deep within, you knew you were avoiding the two redheads to have interaction with each other.

"Sorry, I forgot-"

"Yeah, Y/n," Wanda butted in, a slight tease in her tone. "Why won't you introduce me to this lovely fine lady?"

Wanda then stood up as she took Christine's hand in her own and gently placed a kiss on the back of the latter's knuckles. "My name's Wanda, Y/n's friend..."

You immediately quipped as you pulled their hands apart. "Stop hitting on her..."

Wanda only laughed as she finally let her go, although you couldn't tell if it was forced or not. Christine joined along as she introduced herself. "Pleasure to meet you... I'm Christine, taking Pre-law, Y/n's girlfriend..."

The other redhead's smirk quickly disappeared from her face, making you remember how she pleaded for you not to fall with someone else. But she immediately turned her frown into a smile as she replied, chuckling softly, "Pleasure to meet you too... I was starting to think you were only imaginary."

And to Christine, the interaction was just normal. But to you and Wanda, it meant the collapse of what could be a blooming friendship. Would Wanda stop being your friend now that she knows you weren't lying about having a girlfriend?

You didn't put much thought about it when Christine then dragged you to their table, meeting her friends, seeing Yelena's familiar face, with cheeks still red.

Dating Christine felt like another level, something you hadn't seen before. Not that you were complaining, you wanted your girlfriend to be always clingy and jealous around you, to be obsessed about you like that. But you didn't expect her to act that way around Wanda. She wasn't even like that around your other friends, especially Pepper.

Maybe it was the color of Wanda's hair that gave it away or maybe Christine simply just had a hunch that she was the one who broke your heart because she was older than your highschool friends. Pepper said it was because of the unresolved sexual tension emanating between you and Wanda, which she could literally see even from a distance.

You shouldn't even be torn about wanting to spend time with both of them, because Christine was your girlfriend after all, not Wanda. But you missed the other redhead too, now that your study sessions with her had been momentarily stopped because Christine would invite you to her table or to the Students Council room, which was more quiet and would gave you both a chance to make out.

In terms of happiness, Wanda was like The Sheer by Manu Pozzi song, calm and peaceful, while Christine was Yoko Ono by Mob Rich, exhilarating. You felt sorry and guilty for even thinking about it, that both songs should be about your girlfriend alone, so you decided to do something nice for her.

Being released by Professor Fury early from class, you began sketching your girlfriend in the library. Christine also deserved a slot in your sketchbook after all.

"I didn't know you draw." A smile crept unto your face, immediately knowing the owner of said voice without looking up. Good thing Wanda didn't let your romantic relationship come in between your friendship.

When you finally glanced at Wanda taking a seat in front of you, you answered, smiling, " There are still a number of things you don't know about me."

"Amen to that," Wanda agreed with a long sigh, opening her book to the page she had bookmarked in. "I didn't even know she was your type... Thought you hated lawyers..."

You stopped drawing, figuring she was talking about Christine. "What?"

She only shook her head as she avoided your gaze. "Nothing... I just thought you like someone a bit more spirited, you know, not bleak-"

"-Christine's not bleak," you defended. "And why are you mad at her? Wait, did you and Chris-"

"No," she immediately interjected, taken aback. "I don't just go sleeping around with everyone, Y/n.."

"Sorry, sorry," you quickly apologized. "It was out of line.."

Wanda then smiled as she went back to her book. "It's okay, don't worry about it... Why are you drawing her anyway?"

"I wanted to do something nice for her. I don't know if she'll really appreciate this."

"Well, I hope she does, with all the effort you did," she assured you.

"Thanks," you replied. "How's your dad by the way?"

She pursed her lips. "Mmm, he's okay, still the same... My mom and Pietro will come visit him this weekend... It's my dad's birthday on Friday if you wanna come. Plus, I think he'd really love it if you were there."

You gave her a smile, your chest warming at the thought. "Yeah, of course, I'll be there."

"Actually, my dad couldn't stop talking about you," Wanda went on. "He really liked your Christmas gift.. It has been his favorite song lately, playing it on repeat..."

You nodded back, a thought crossing your mind that you didn't even know Wanda's favorite song.

"What about you?" you asked, closing the sketchbook.

"Mm?"

"What's your favorite song?" you clarified.

She scoffed, placing her book back on the table. "My favorite song?"

"Yeah, it's just weird that I haven't really heard yours and we'd known each other for a while now-"

"I don't have a favorite song... I just listen to music whenever I feel like it," Wanda answered, shrugging her shoulders.

"What?" you jested. "Come on, everyone has a favorite song..."

"Why do you want to know?"

You shrugged your shoulders. "I'm just trying to broaden my taste in music, and expand my playlist, of course." You weren't lying. You actually had stole some songs from your friends' playlists when the music happened to get stuck in your head for days. They'd always call you out about it until they just gave up.

"Mmm," Wanda mused, staring at the ceiling before looking at you. "Well, right now, I've been listening to 241, if that counts."

"241?"

"Yes, by Rivermaya," she added. "Haven't you heard of it yet? It's on Spotify."

You shook your head no, biting your lower lip as you tried to recall. "What's it like?"

There was a short pause before she answered. "I don't know how to tell you... I guess you have to listen to it to know... I actually listen to songs depending on how I feel... and that song has been on repeat nowadays..."

You nodded back as you took a mental note to listen to the song some time later.

When Christine appeared by the doorway and met your gaze, you then apologized to Wanda about having to leave. The other redhead would only joke about it, saying that duty has called you. You disregarded the tone of something else from her voice.

Later that day, when Christine was reading one of her notes from her class, you mustered up the courage to ask permission. "Is it okay if I go out with Wanda on Friday evening? It's his father's birthday and all."

"Oh, okay," Christine answered, clear hesitation in her words. "I was actually gonna ask you on a date that day after class but it's literally fine if you wanted to go with Wanda-"

"No, no, if you want to, I'd rather go with you," you hurriedly added, feeling guilty of wanting to spend time with the other redhead.

"I feel like Wanda hates me," Christine went on after a while. She then leaned her body against yours, her head on the crook of your neck.

"What?" You only scoffed in disbelief, your arm instinctively wrapping around her. "No, of course, she doesn't hate you... Why did you think of that?"

"I dunno... She always glares daggers at me whenever I'm around," she explained, pursing her lips. "Anyway, I bought us tickets to watch Where The Crawdads Sing that day, but I could change the schedule if you want-"

"No, it's okay," you interrupted, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head. "I'm sure Wanda will understand..."

But you knew Wanda wouldn't take it lightly, making you an asshole for taking the time until the very day to apologize on not being able to come because you were scared on how she would react.

"It's fine," Wanda assured you, as if she had already expected it. You were walking around the university's grounds when you caught up with the redhead.

You decided then to give Wanda your old sketch of her and her dad as a present. "I made this though a few months ago... Maybe you can give it to him."

And she stared at the sketch with tear-filled eyes, making you suddenly think you had triggered something. The drawing was that time at the park when her dad was eating ice cream. The silence was deafening as you only stared at each other.

You were about to apologize when Wanda hugged you, profusely thanking you about the gift. The warmth from her body brought the feeling of longing in you forward that you somehow found yourself hugging her back just as tight.

You felt her leaning in slowly as she pulled away from the embrace, your gaze on her mouth as hers on yours, but she immediately turned her head around as she wiped her eyes. Your heart ached for her, still ached for her.

Later that night, after your movie date with Christine, you searched the 241 song on your Spotify account and listened to it.

It was only then when you understood what Wanda meant when she told you about love being awful and making people selfish and cruel.

Sometimes, love is not a beautiful thing. Sometimes, love could be crying yourself to sleep at the thought of someone hurting because of you.

Chapter Text

"Wanda."

"Y/n?" Wanda's eyes met yours as she stepped closer towards you, eyes that eventually travelled to the merchandise you had in your arms, her shocked expression of seeing you there slowly turning into a smirk. "I didn't know you and Christine are into these stuff already..."

You wish you could magically dig a hole in the ground and bury yourself in it. Your face must be red from embarrassment, even more than Wanda's hair. Come to think of it, you'd never realize how small the town was until you actually bumped into Wanda at the only small not-so-discreet boutique store selling adult sex toys.

Why you were there in the first place was something only your friend Pepper could explain.

It had been months since you and Christine had started officially dating. Now on your semester break, a month before another academic year would start, a month before Christine's last year in the university, also Wanda and Pepper's, things finally began to sink in.

Christine had been adamant about where she would continue her law studies after graduation, discussing the pros and cons with her friends, Sam and Yelena, whom you found out the latter was Natasha's sister. And as you listened through the discussion and looked at the list of pros and cons she had listed on the board at one of the students lounge area in their dorm building, you got distracted with the only item amongst the cons list.

Almost 4,000 miles away from home

You were still starting second year, and you knew dating someone older would eventually become a problem, but you couldn't help but feel scared. The familiarity of waking up next to Christine every day would come to an end. And you didn't really want your head to be consumed with these thoughts, but you were an anxious person.

Christine had been the sweetest girlfriend, taking you out to dates every Friday night, sending you cute messages in the middle of the day during your classes, covering your shifts at Loki's store when you got late from Professor Fury's classes, even making love with you under the sheets in your dorm room or sometimes in hers when Yelena wasn't around or requested by the redhead to stay somewhere else.

Your girlfriend found out later on about your nightmares, when you woke her up one night, thrashing yourself on the bed.

"Babe, hey, wake up, Y/n," Christine cooed softly as she cupped your cheek, shaking your head. When you opened your eyes, the face of a different redhead made its way into your vision, which was immediately shook away until Christine's face finally appeared. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," you gasped, holding her hand in yours. "Sorry if I woke you up."

Her concerned face hovered above you, slowly leaning in as she placed a kiss on your forehead. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I... I couldn't remember," you lied. You had no idea why you couldn't share it to Christine. She was your girlfriend after all. You practically had shared everything to her. Well, except for two things, Wanda and your nightmare.

Maybe because throughout the relationship, you figured that Christine didn't share the same views you had in life. She laughed at your corny gesture of letting her take the last bite of your favorite food, which you thought she thought was cute and later on admitted, it was cute at first but not always, especially when she didn't like sugary food that much.

The redhead had also been frank and inconsiderably harsh in giving out advices to her friends when they told her about some problems they had in life, such as their lovers being late on their dates or them scared about getting too attached to their significant other, to which Christine had advised them to grow a pair of balls and not be a wimp about it, that not every action had to have a meaning.

You wondered if Christine didn't intend for you to hear it because you suddenly came inside the lounge unannounced, but you suddenly got slightly terrified of talking to her about similar things.

Apparently, it was Christine's biggest pet peeve before you came into her life. Her friend, Sam, revealed that she had only been compassionate and sensitive when it came to you. And your heart melted at that because he said it in a nice joking manner whenever he teased you two being sweet together all the time.

But sometimes, you couldn't help but worry if she'd said something sweet to you but in her head, it was completely different.

And then there was Wanda.

Your study sessions with Wanda eventually came back when Christine had been busy with their oral defense before the classes ended. You loved spending time with the other redhead, especially when you had grown close to her friends, Maria and Steve. The three of them were the perfect group, always full of mischief during weekends yet at the university, they acted like professionals, always studious.

But Christine only seemed to allow you to study with Wanda whenever her friends or your friends were around. And every time you two would be left alone, talking about random topics as always, your girlfriend would somehow sense it and text you to meet her at the cafeteria or her dorm room. You didn't know if Christine had cronies in the library telling her about it, but you didn't want to know. You would then smile apologetically at Wanda as she would only nod back, now knowing you were in a tight leash.

"You can tell me anything, right?" Christine went on, as you recovered yourself from the nightmare. "I don't want you to hold any thing from me just because I'm.... you know... like this."

"I know," you answered back, your fingers brushing a strand of her hair over her ear. "And I'd tell you... just...."

"Not now?"

You slowly nodded, hoping your girlfriend would understand the way you understood her when she would avoid answering why you couldn't come meet her parents whenever they came to visit her.

Before the break started, Christine's dad had already made a couple of visits, which you ended up receiving texts she couldn't meet you that day or shoving you inside her closet when he made a surprise visit with her mother.

You and your friends had hunches about it, that maybe she wasn't out to her family or something. So you gave her the benefit of the doubt, you'd let her take her time. Besides, whenever her family was around meant spending time with Wanda in the library uninterrupted.

"Do you want me to make you forget about it?" Christine's husky voice made its way to your ears as you felt her lips nipping your earlobe, leaving delicate kisses under it and then harshly sucking the skin around, delivering pleasure straight to your core as you let out a soft whimper.

And as she released a tiny chuckle while lowering herself down your body under the blankets, her mouth immediately latched around your clit once she got rid of your underwear. You let her distract you.

And it wasn't because sex with Christine had always made you shut up literally or quiet your thoughts. No. Underneath the strong exterior that Christine exuded, she had never failed to make you ecstatic in bed.

"How's your hand?" Wanda teasingly asked, bringing you back to the present. Your left wrist was wrapped in a white bandage under a wrist splint, making you immediately remember why you were there in the first place.

"Y/n, if your girlfriend is trying to kill you, just say the word and we'll be there," Peter offered. You and your friends were at Tony's house just three weeks after the semester was over, discussing about the summer class Pepper was taking.

"Shut up," was all you could utter, your mind still clouded and hazy with the pain reliever you just took an hour ago, nursing your injured wrist. "Besides, she didn't mean it."

Christine was guilty and sorry, she cried during the entire ride to the emergency room. She didn't mean to hurt you, that things would go out of hand as she rode your fingers with vigor, clutching on tightly against the wooden headboard of your bed. You and Christine were just craving for each other after not seeing the redhead for two days straight when her dad visited. Also, you wanted to return the favor to Christine after she made you come in the bathroom while taking a quick shower.

Your friends continued to tease you about it but when the boys left to get the pizza they ordered that just arrived by the gate, Pepper moved in closer next to you on the couch and whispered to your ear. "I know something that wouldn't involve your injured hand..."

That was why you and Pepper went to said store that weekend, to shop certain things. Pepper had just gone to another aisle looking for something to spice up things with her boyfriend when you accidentally bumped into Wanda, who was holding what seemed to be a vibrator in her hand.

Yes. You had done your research before going to the store with Pepper, even when it was your friend who kept on throwing the offending items into your arm, saying Christine would later thank her for it.

"Yeah, yeah, nice joke," you quipped back to Wanda's teases at the moment, whose eyes were still eyeing the goods you had in your arm, particularly on one specific item, which was a purple-colored dildo.

"I didn't peg you as the top, Y/n," Wanda went on, grinning from ear to ear.

"That's completely inappropriate to talk between friends but.... why?" You were curious, and your friendship with Wanda had that slight comfort that no judgment was allowed.

The redhead just shrugged her shoulders as she walked past you. "I don't know... I can tell from previous experience you're a bottom."

You scoffed, knowing she was thinking about the night you had. "Well, screw you."

"You did, remember?"

You were about to retort back when she placed a bottle of lube on top of your merchandise. "I don't know if you know what you're doing, but you're gonna need this for that size..."

You swallowed a nervous lump in your throat. Pepper had picked it out, not you.

"I thought this was the normal one, it was the same one you used when-" You immediately stopped yourself, but the redness in your face gave it away as Wanda's smirk only grew wider.

"Oh, honey, I wasn't talking about you," Wanda teased. "I'm sure you'll have no problem fitting it inside you..."

And before you could protest against her comment, Wanda was already heading towards the cashier to pay for her item.

You decided to look around for Pepper, but you couldn't find her, so you had no other choice but to queue next to Wanda.

"What's that for?" You eyed the pink item the redhead was carrying.

Wanda giggled, looking at you. "Really? You're asking me about this?"

"I..."

"Calm down, Y/n..," she quipped, holding it close to your face to see, making you step back away from her. "I'm just messing with you... You can actually get this at aisle three near the harnesses section if you want to try it... I usually use this when I'm trying to get myself off thinking about someone."

And you froze on the spot, knowing Wanda's words had double meaning. She could either be referring to you or someone else. But the moment was over when she bursted into laughter before you. And you followed suit, because it was the only thing you could do at the moment.

It still surprised you, to be honest. After all this time, the reality of not being with Wanda still hurt. Nothing really hurt more than what could've been.

Later that night, when you prepared your bedroom for some shenanigans you planned with your girlfriend, you received a text message from Christine saying her parents were around, making you slump back to the bed, frustrated.

You sighed loudly into the darkness of the room, your eyes drifting towards the toys you bought earlier, focusing on the same one Wanda got for herself, which you hurriedly grabbed from aisle three after the redhead had left the vicinity. One thing led to another, and you spent your entire night pleasuring yourself.

And when you got so close to the edge, the image of Wanda playing with herself using the same item suddenly flashed inside your head, making you almost moan her name out as you came.

Chapter Text

You weren't feeling good, body heavy, tired and all. With nose all clogged, you had resorted to breathe through your mouth from time to time. Even your head was bursting to open.

You knew this would happen. Yesterday was just the start of classes, and it was raining cats and dogs before you went to Professor Fury's class on Business Law, your first class for the day. Being scared of getting late and be embarrassed in front of the class with an impromptu oral recitation, you didn't climb back to your dorm room to retrieve the umbrella you have forgotten to bring.

So you took his class with clothes slightly drenched. It dried through the entire day and you thought it was okay. But cold and fever hit you back the following day.

When your girlfriend found out after you didn't meet her in the student's council room, you spent an hour of being scolded by her on why you were stubborn and neglectful to not put the umbrella in your bag the first place. After seeing your speechless and pitiful state, she finally took mercy and her stature softened.

Christine had taken great care of you, even excused herself from her classes just to see you and ensure you had taken your medicines. You didn't want to burden her, especially since it was her last year and her studies were more critical. But she still insisted, even bringing you hot soup every meal.

When it was good while it lasted, you knew you couldn't keep your girlfriend to yourself. She had to leave you for long, since she needed to focus on her quizzes and thesis report.

On your second day of being trapped in your own bedroom, a sudden knock brought you out of your slumber. It was afternoon, just an hour after Christine left for her classes after the lunch you had together. You were slightly feeling a bit better compared to yesterday but you were still sick.

"Wanda?" you asked with brows furrowed, your hands clutching the blanket around your body as you went to open the door. You didn't expect to see the redhead that day.

Wanda had a lost expression on her face that eventually turned to concern, seeing you at your worst. Your hair was still messy and your bedroom smelled of ointments and relaxing essential oils. Christine had to take another shower before she took off for class to get rid of the smell.

The other redhead before you was holding a basket of fruits containing oranges, apples, bananas or even grapes, making your eyes widen with surprise when she pushed the basket into your arms, the blanket slipping out of your body as you let go of it to catch the offer. It gave Wanda a full view of you wearing a sleeveless shirt and very short shorts.

"I h-heard you got sick," Wanda stuttered, her cheeks red. "I thought you just didn't want to study in the library anymore... but when I saw Peter earlier, he said you were sick since yesterday... How are you feeling?"

"Ummm..."

Before you could reply, Wanda stepped closer towards you as she placed her hand on your forehead and the other on your neck, the touch igniting your body even when it was already warmed with fever.

"You're very hot-... I mean, warm," she hurriedly added. "Have you taken your meds already?"

You only found yourself nodding, still speechless from her hands still on you. Realizing she was holding you too long, Wanda finally let go and pointed to the basket of fruits in your arms. "I brought you these... Fruits are great sources of vitamins, minerals and other stuff great for your health. And you need to get better. So you need to eat at least one per meal. There's also kiwis in there, just hidden..."

As you listened to Wanda blabber on about different kinds of nutrients found in each fruit, your heart ached for a thousand of reasons. And most of them involved how you wanted to reciprocate Wanda's feelings. But you couldn't. Because you couldn't hurt Christine like that.

Admittedly, you had started to develop feelings for Christine, that only grew deeper when you woke up in your sleep last night with your head on her lap and she had fallen asleep with a book in hand and your hair in her other.

"Thank you so much," you managed to say, a smile on your face. "I'd hug you right now but I don't want you to catch my sickness and all."

Wanda chuckled at that as she clicked her fingers towards you with a wink. She was adorable. "You should... you should go back to sleep now."

She abruptly turned to leave, but then came back, her hands in her pockets. "Y/n?"

"Yes?"

There was a moment of hesitation before she finally uttered. "Please take good care of yourself..."

And you knew you were sick, but you shouldn't be feeling like you were about to cry just because Wanda was looking at you like that. No, you shouldn't.

Wanda's visit invaded your dreams after that as you went back to sleep. When you woke up, Christine was already there sitting beside you, studying with a book on her lap.

"Hey, what time is it?" you asked, voice groggy but at least you could breathe through one nostril. Christine placed her book on the bedside table and went to lay next to you, pulling you into her as she hugged you.

"5pm...," she replied, her fingers threading through your hair. "I ordered something for dinner... it hasn't arrived yet... How are you feeling?"

You treasured the warmth from Christine as you hugged around her tighter. "I'm better now."

She softly chuckled, placing a soft kiss on top of your head. "Y/n?"

"Mm?"

"Whom were the fruits from?"

The thoughts of Wanda infiltrated your head once again, remembering the encounter earlier.

"Oh, it's from Wanda," you answered nonchalantly, nuzzling your face deeper into Christine's neck, inhaling her scent. "She came to visit after lunch."

You could hear the redhead sigh, and your eyes were already drooping to a close when she muttered. "Did you and Wanda... you know... date before?"

Your eyes shot wide open, fully awake. Even your body instinctively tensed on its own upon hearing the question. Christine might have noticed it too because she suddenly stopped brushing her fingers through your hair.

"We... I... we never dated," you stammered, unsure if you'd explain everything to her. "It was just a one time thing."

"What do you mean?" Christine's voice suddenly hardened. After a short pause, she pulled away from you as she straightened to a sit, you following her.

"Well, it's complicated-"

"Complicated?" She looked incredulously at you.

"I... I met Wanda during my first College party and we... we might have done something that night...," you carefully admitted, scared on how your girlfriend might react.

Christine rolled her eyes before replying. "And you're only telling me this now?"

You tried to hold the redhead's hand but she only tugged it away. "Chris, it was just a one time thing... and we never dated-"

"But you're still friends with her?"

"Wanda doesn't do dates-"

She held her finger to shush you out. "That doesn't explain why you're friends with her, Y/n... Don't you find it weird?"

You slowly shook your head, regretting when the frown on Christine's face only grew deeper.

"Is she the one you've been trying to move on before we started dating?" Was the next thing she asked, making you stiffen.

You suddenly couldn't find your words.

Christine scoffed as she avoided your gaze, looking at the wall in front of you instead. "That makes sense with all the tension I always feel between the two of you... and why Wanda looks at you like that..."

"Like what?"

"Like you're the cherry on top of her sundae, Y/n!"

"No," you quickly defended, not sure why you did when you knew about Wanda's confused feelings towards you. "She doesn't, we're just friends-"

"Do you still like her?" she interrupted, now raising her eyebrow at you.

"What? Why are you asking me that?"

"Sorry, wrong question...," she jeered. "Do you still have feelings for her?"

Your shocked silence only meant yes to the redhead, making her get off from the bed away from you instantly.

"Chris, please," you hurriedly exclaimed, getting up from the bed too. "I chose you."

Christine placed her belongings into her bag as she went on. "But you're still friends with her, Y/n..."

"That doesn't mean anything-"

"It means there's still hope for the two of you," she said, now putting on her pants. "You can't be friends with someone you hooked up with, especially when you still have feelings for them... I'm not that dumb, Y/n."

"Chris, please don't go," you begged. "Please don't leave."

"I'm just gonna sleep back at my dorm once the food arrives," she stated calmly. You knew she was trying to control her temper. "I think we should take a break for now..."

Tears only streamed down your face. "Are you breaking up with me?"

When she didn't answer you, you went on. "Chris, please... I want you, not her... I chose you... please don't do this-"

"Don't be friends with her," she ordered, meeting your eyes.

"What?"

"If you still want us to go further, please stop being friends with her."

"Chris..." You couldn't promise that to Christine, you didn't want to hurt the other redhead too.

Someone knocked on the door, signaling the arrival of the food Christine ordered. Once she had placed the food on the table, she then bid farewell.

"Please eat and don't forget to take your medicines," she said. "We'll continue to talk once you get better."

You must have cried the entire night, with no idea what to do, torn between the two redheads. But you knew you must say goodbye to the other redhead, Wanda. You chose Christine for a good reason. But you didn't want to lose Wanda as a friend, knowing it would also hurt her when you had rejected her twice.

But Wanda wasn't your girlfriend. Christine was. You must choose your girlfriend above anyone else, right?

"Are you feeling better now?" Wanda asked as she took the seat in front of you in the library the following day.  You were wearing the thickest jacket you could find, knowing you were still both sick physically, mentally and emotionally. The latter was more prominent.

"There's something I need to tell you," you started, then sighed deeply, trying to maintain the normal beating of your heart even when it was going crazy.

"I've been thinking about it...," you continued. "And I know it isn't fair... How things are not what they're supposed to be... but it's just the way it is.. and I do have feelings for you... I like you so much. That I hope you'd understand why I have to do this...." you paused.

"But Wanda's my friend, Chris... She has been nothing but nice to me, as a friend. Only as a friend... And it would be cruel to tell her that... I hope you understand why I'm doing this. Maybe I can just spend less time with her if you want... We can still make this through."

It wasn't Wanda you were facing and talking to that time. You were brought back to where you were an hour earlier before you headed to the library, where you went to visit Christine in her dorm room during lunchtime, to talk about your relationship.

Christine released a nervous breath through her mouth as she was about to cry.

"Chris, I still want to be with you, please...," you pleaded, holding the redhead's hand, squeezing it for reassurance.

She licked her lips as she sniffled. "I should have known..."

"What?"

"My parents were right," she went on. "It was all one stupid College affair..."

Your heart hurt at that, but you knew you deserved it. "What do you mean?"

"Do you know why I didn't want you to meet my parents?" She paused for a second. "It's  not because I wasn't out to them... They know me... They accepted me for what I am... They always just didn't want who I choose to be with... One day, eventually, they would set me up with an arranged marriage just like they were one... They told me that love never existed, and that I should just give up finding one... And I finally thought it was you, Y/n... I thought it was you... And I know I have my faults, and I wasn't a perfect girlfriend, but I liked you to the point that I might have fallen in love..."

"Chris-"

She softly chuckled as she shook her head. "I tried to protect you... I was hiding you from my parents to protect you because I know they won't approve of me dating someone younger... If they'd find out, they'd make your life hell, Y/n, just for us to break up... How silly it is now... That I don't even need my parents' help for it."

Minutes passed slowly as her hand eventually slipped out of your hold. Then she looked at you with red eyes. "I hope the best for you two."

Then she stood up and walked towards the door, and opened it for you, waiting for you to leave the room.

You stood up and walked towards her, hand reaching out. "Chris... I'm sorry..."

She only pulled away and shook her head, disappointment and hurt on her face. "You still chose her, Y/n."

"Hey, you okay?" Wanda's voice brought you to the present, back in the library.

"What?"

The redhead only laughed. "You spaced out there for a second... You said you were about to tell me something?"

And you didn't know what to say because Christine just broke up with you during lunch. You didn't want Wanda to know that it was because of her and you being friends with her.

So, you shared about how you had eaten almost half of the fruits she provided yesterday, and she only laughed at you more because it was nonsense, then went on talking about the kiwis and how Steve almost stole one piece if she didn't catch him.

You tried to contain your emotions, pretended to laugh at Wanda's stories, but all you wanted to do was break down and cry.

Because you lost someone who could've been the one for you.

Chapter Text

I'm through with love
I'll never fall again
Said "Adieu" to love
Don't ever call again
For I must have you
Or no one
And so I'm through with love

Flowers or sweet gestures, no matter how grand, wouldn't get someone back into your life. You learned that the very hard way. It wasn't even your first official breakup. But as you remembered, highschool relationships didn't count.

You had been hurt with Wanda before yet, this time you had a right to get hurt and it did. It hurt you like a ton of bricks was thrown at you, injuring you unexpectedly with incurable pain.

So, you resorted to alcohol. You drowned yourself in it that you wondered if the blood flowing through your veins weren't blood anymore.

You took shots after shots of the hardest drink you could find at the party you went to with your friends that weekend. The liquor had warmed your throat and chest as you drank it, your eyes immediately traveling towards the couple on the dance floor once you placed the shot against the counter with a thud, thinking how they looked like you and Christine when you two couldn't get your hands off each other. You missed her. Terribly missed her.

I'm Through With Love by Marilyn Monroe was blaring from the speakers, making your heart ache more.

Goodbye to spring
And all it meant to me
It can never bring
The things that used to be
For I must have you or no one
And so I'm through with love

You heard Peter complaining about broken glasses if you kept on hammering the item against the wooden counter, but you didn't care anymore. The music and endless chatters at the party buzzed through your ears in a dull ring as your sole focus was on the guy caressing Christine's arms when she looped it around his neck, dancing through the night. The guy was leaning forward and the redhead only let him.

You never knew it could hurt like this. Three weeks ago, you and Christine were inseparable. And now, she was smooching with a guy she had now been dating for a week.

It was as if you and her never happened.

The guy's name was Stephen. He was a fourth year Architecture student. You were buying flowers at a nearby flower shop as part of your plans to get Christine back when you met him for the first time. He even asked you for help on what to purchase since he was on his way to ask someone out. And you had even suggested that he better get some daisies because every girl wouldn't say no to daisies. You never thought you'd both walk together heading towards the same place some time later, at Loki's store, where it was still Christine's shift.

Her accepting the daisies instead of your roses, which only ended up in the trash, was heartbreaking. You had never thought Christine being with someone else other than you before, never expecting it would make you feel like you were being stabbed through the heart. Was this what she felt when you chose Wanda?

As if you were still following your now ex-girlfriend's demands, you had been veering off Wanda's presence. Maybe, once or twice a week in the library with the other redhead would suffice so as not to raise any question.

The breakup had spread like a wildfire amongst your groups of friends. Pepper was always advising you that you weren't hung up with your ex, you were just guilty. But you couldn't care less. You just cared about trying to get Christine back and her taking you back into her arms. Your friends even helped you with it. Waiting outside her dorm room, only to be pulled away by an insistent angry Yelena. Flowers by the student's council room, the place where Christine was now avoiding.

The only place you could bother her was Loki's store, where you'd play her favorite songs every time you got the chance through the speakers, just for her to hear. But it just went ignored as she tended to customers or her books.

When you found boxes of your stuff that you had given to the redhead outside the door of your dorm room, you broke out into uncontrollable tears.

You didn't know what you expected really. You couldn't just do something bad and expect sweet reconciliation afterwards. You wanted this. You deserved this. You chose Wanda. And now, you couldn't even face your friend, knowing she'd eventually ask why you and Christine broke up. And some day, you'd tell the former the truth.

When you saw Stephen and Christine kissed for the first time at Loki's store, not sure if they intended to do it during your shift, your heart immediately deflated. It was an eye-opener. That the redhead has moved on from you. So quickly, you might add.

You guessed it was the heartbreak that caused the redhead to do that. But when you caught Christine laughing with Stephen one time when you got earlier to take a shift, you realized that you haven't heard her laugh like that for too long. That maybe she deserved to be with someone who could make her truly happy, someone who actually chased for her, someone like Stephen.

It was what finally stopped you with the attempts to get the redhead back. Maybe you would end up alone after all and you'd get yourself a cat or two to get through the loneliness.

The presence of the couple in the store still made your gut wrench with jealousy. You thought it was okay, until one day you couldn't take it anymore. They were making out by the lockers when you caught them. They both stopped on your account, and you gave them a tight smile as you hurriedly went to get your things.

You really did like Christine that much, because seeing her with someone else hurt you a lot, leading you to file a resignation letter to Loki the following day. Loki even stopped you, trying to convince you that the couple weren't even that serious like the two of you were. But you were already determined with your decision.

Wanda suddenly appeared beside you and said, "If you keep on glaring at them, they'd disintegrate into ashes."

But every time I fall in love
Something always happen to me
That's why I'm through with love

You forced a chuckle as you took another shot. Looking on your other side, you realized Peter was talking to someone else and you were left alone by the counter with Wanda.

"Are you avoiding me?" The redhead asked, leaning her elbows against the counter.

"What? No, why would I be?" you drunkenly replied. Then you went to look at her but averted when you quickly noticed some girl staring at Wanda from a distance.

You placed your hand on her shoulder as you gave it a light squeeze and declared, "I'm gonna be with your wingman tonight, or wingwoman."

Her brows only furrowed deeper in confusion. "What?"

Then you leaned into her, faces so close to each other as you urged the redhead to look at where you were pointing, making the girl's cheeks red upon getting caught. "That girl right there has been staring at you for the past couple of minutes."

Wanda lightly pushed you back to your seat as she let out a giggle. "Yeah, very discreet, Y/n... But no, I'm pretty sure she was staring at you. Couldn't blame her though, you always look beautiful."

You choke on your drink and laughed. "Yeah, nice try, you don't have to test your flirtations on me. You can just go walk over there."

Then she slumped on the seat beside you as she grabbed herself a drink. "I don't do those anymore."

"Mm?"

"Believe it or not, you were my last, Y/n..." Wanda said it so small and low that you didn't know if you were meant to hear that.

You only scoffed, shaking your head. "I find that hard to believe."

She only grinned then took a shot. Once she had recovered from how strong the drink was, she went on. "It's the truth."

"What? So that girl you pulled at that party after I asked you out to a movie was not a person?"

She smirked, trying to remember who it was. "Nothing happened between us, she left when I decided not to continue."

You only laughed because you thought she was joking. "Wait, what about Natasha?"

"Nothing-"

The conversation was abruptly ended when Peter came back and dragged you and Wanda  to join the game of beer pong Tony had started. The game only got interesting when Stephen and Christine joined as well. And they acted all sweet in front of you as Stephen went to take the shot she missed for her. And Christine cheering for him when it was his turn.

When you and Stephen were being set up against, you managed to defeat him during the first round, making him sloppily drank more shots. He only ended up celebrating, pulling Christine into his arm and captured her mouth in a searing kiss that the redhead only mirrored back.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," you said, as you hurriedly walked away from the game, ignoring your name being called out. You kept on walking, planning to get to your dorm room, only hurrying when you heard footsteps fastening behind you.

When you turned to look, it was only Wanda, her face full of concern. "Fuck, you scared me."

She only laughed. "Well, you were in a hurry... and you shouldn't be walking alone especially when you're that drunk."

"I am not drunk," you tried to utter, although words were a little slurred.

"Yeah, keep the act, Y/n," she joked, laughing.

It brought a smile to your face. "God, you have such a beautiful laugh."

Never noticing the redhead's cheeks going as red as her hair, the two of you walked silently towards your dorm building.

"How do you do it?" You hesitated to ask after a moment of silence.

"Do what?"

"Casual hookups just to avoid getting hurt," you explained then quickly added, "No offense meant though."

"I'm assuming you and Christine had actually broken up," she stated, avoiding your question.

"Wait, you didn't know?" You looked at her with confused expression.

"I had my hunches why I haven't seen you two often together," Wanda answered, shrugging her shoulders as she slipped her hands inside the pocket of her jeans. "But I haven't really seen you two often together when you were still dating."

There was short silence after that.

"It was my fault," you began. "I hurt her..."

The redhead didn't say anything. You were nearing your dorm building when you stopped and turned at Wanda. "Don't you want to ask why?"

Wanda licked her lips nervously as she stuttered. "D-Do you want me to know?"

You smiled, nodding. "I got your point." There was no way you'd tell her anyway, right?

The two of you continued walking, just enjoying being silent with her with the occasional shy glances and smiles at each other. When you finally reached your building, you bid goodnight to the redhead and made your way, only to fall down the first flight of stairs.

"Shit," you cursed.

"Need any help?" Wanda came back as she pulled your arm over her shoulders, you leaning into her when she helped you climbed to your floor. "Is there a suggestion box around here? I think we might have to request an elevator from the admin."

You broke out into laughter with her, making you remember that night when Wanda got herself drunk and confessed her love towards you. You wondered how many times she also fell to the ground. The way she carried you effortlessly made your eyes droop to a close.

When you reached your room, you could hear ensuing battle by the doorway. You tried to get a glimpse as Wanda leaned your back against the wall. The redhead seemed to be arguing with someone who also had red hair. You must be dreaming already because the girl looked like Christine.

You heard keys being rattled and door opening. Suddenly, you felt yourself moving. Seconds later, you could see the ceiling with your eyes fighting to open, your hands treasuring the warm sheets of your bed.

"Yeah, right, don't tell me you're gonna take advantage of her because she's drunk?" Christine's voice made its way to your ears.

"I'm not," Wanda countered, close to shouting. "I'm just helping her into her room."

"As if I'd believe you," the other redhead spat back. You heard footsteps and you willed your head to look at them but all you could see was Christine's back. "I know your reputation-"

"Why do you hate me so much? I am Y/n's friend, okay? You can trust me." You felt so sad hearing Wanda sounding so exhausted.

"Oh, she didn't tell you..."

"What?"

"I broke up with her because she can't stop being friends with you when I asked her to..."

You couldn't fight to stay conscious anymore as your self was being dragged away into sleep. The last thing you heard was Christine's as she replied to Wanda's baffled silence.

"She's still in love with you."

Chapter Text

"Mom?" you called out into the darkness of the house. Seeing some vague light from the living room, you walked through the hallway and found your mother sitting on the sofa with her back at you, seeming to be staring at the television before her with a static screen.

"Mom, It's already late," you told her, grabbing the remote on the center table then turning off the appliance. When you looked back, your mother wasn't there anymore. Suddenly, you could feel cold air breathing through your ear, making the hair on the back of your neck stood.

"You killed me, Y/n," your mother sneered in a whisper. "You killed me."

You woke up with a start as you tried to catch your breath, gasping for air. Someone's hand began to rub your back, making you jump.

"I'm sorry."

It was Christine, sitting beside you on the bed. "I tried waking you up earlier... You've been having nightmares again."

After regaining a bit of composure, you started to come up with an explanation from your brain as to why your ex-girlfriend was there in your dorm room with you. You remembered drinking last night and Wanda.

Christine's sudden movement beside you as she got off the bed and put on her pants and sweater brought you out of your thoughts. And as if on perfect timing, you felt your head begging to explode.

"There's some painkillers and water on the bedside table," she broke the silence. But you didn't budge on your bed.

After she was finished dressing, she glanced towards your confused state. "Nothing happened, Y/n... You were drunk last night and I just needed to ensure you were safe."

Everything came back in a flash. Stephen. Wanda. Beer pong game. Walkout. Wanda. Christine. Christine and Wanda.

Christine took a seat in front of you as she sighed. "Look... I know I've done some things just to hurt you... with Stephen and all... I want to apologize about that.."

"Chris-"

"No, let me finish," she interjected. "Y/n, you have been a great girlfriend to me..  and I really enjoyed the time we spent together... But...

"You know we cannot go forth with our relationship if you still have feelings for Wanda..."

You felt so sorry, hoping you could change for her. You didn't want to just throw away what you both had. But the heart wants what it wants. "Christine, I'm sorry-"

"Y/n, please...," she stopped you. "Who am I to be in the way of what could be a perfect union of two persons meant to be?"

"She doesn't... S-She doesn't see me that way," you said.

"I also thought too... Well, I know about her reputation...," she explained, letting out a long sigh. "That's why I ran after you when you walked out at the party."

You stared at the redhead with disbelief in your eyes as she continued. "But she said something last night that proved me wrong..."

You swallowed a nervous lump in your throat, heart beating fast. "What did she say?"

Christine only smiled a genuine one, and somehow, it made your heart feel lighter than before. "That's not for me to tell, Y/n... I... I just want t-to formally and officially let you go."

"Chris, I'm very, very sorry," was all you could mutter back, voice as desperate. "I like you... I really like you."

"I know," she answered, squeezing your hand to assure you she'd be okay. "But you love her, Y/n... and I cannot stand in the way..."

The redhead slowly leaned forward as her arms wrapped around you, making you do the same as you buried your face into her hair. It felt nice to let it all out. All the burden and guilt you had immediately vanished when you tightened your hugs against each other.

"God, I'm gonna miss how good you are in bed," Christine teased when she pulled away from you, your cheeks all flustered. Then she pressed a quick soft kiss on your lips and smiled. "I hope you get her someday, Y/n..."

"Can we...," you started, stammering with your words, unsure if you were asking too much. "Can we be friends?"

She nodded back with understanding. "Yes, of course..." Cupping your face, she quickly added. "Now, will you go back to Loki's store to work with me?"

"I..."

"I promise I won't be making out with Stephen there anymore...," she quipped. "Or whenever you're around."

You softly chuckled. "So you really like him?"

Christine smiled. "A li'l bit, yes, he's actually nice and sweet once you get to know him..."

The closure you had with your ex-girlfriend was all you needed to feel better and not be guilty of not loving her the way you loved Wanda. Loki was just glad you were back, willingly accepting you even when no words were being uttered from your end.

You went to the library on Monday afternoon, having to go through your notes for your upcoming quiz on Practical Accounting.

And it wasn't because you wanted to talk to Wanda. No. But when you didn't see her presence in the library, you decided to focus on your studies instead. You didn't see her the following day and the next day after that.

On Friday, when you saw Maria and Steve without Wanda, you couldn't help but ask. As it turned out, Wanda's brother had been hospitalized because of an accident and she had been busy going straight to classes then back to the hospital to accompany him.

You didn't know what made you do it but Wanda had been a good friend to you, so the least you could was to act like one.

After buying fruits to give to her brother, you went to the hospital aimlessly and asked if there was anyone checked in with the surname Maximoff.

As you walked through the hallways of the hospital heading to the room the staff had instructed, you were suddenly transported back to a memory you had when you were a child. You entered the room Wanda's brother was supposed to be checked in but instead of Pietro, you saw your little self sitting awkwardly on the edge of the bed, with blood on your hands.

"Is that for me?" Pietro's voice brought you back to the present. A guy with short silver-dyed hair was laying on the inclined bed in front of you, his right leg covered with thick bandage raised with a pillow underneath. "Are you my sister's girlfriend?"

"What?" Your eyes only widened as you froze on the doorway.

"Mmm, I could just tell you're her type." His grin was so wide, your cheeks immediately turned red.

"I..." Before you could reply, somebody bumped into your back, making you enter the room.

"Sorry, I didn't see you-... Y/n?" Wanda gasped, holding the door with a surprised expression.

"Y/n! Yeah, that was her name!" Pietro chimed in, earning a glare from the redhead as she entered then closed the door.

"Why are you here?" Wanda asked you, ignoring her brother's side comments about how cute you two looked together. Has she been telling him stories about you?

"I-I found out from Maria and Steve that you're here... And I just want to give these to your brother," you stuttered, eyes travelling between the two of them. "I learned that fruits are great sources of vitamins, minerals and other nutrients sufficient for your recovery."

There was five seconds of silence before the twins broke out into a loud laughter. Pietro then began introducing himself, "Why, thank you, Y/n... I'm Pietro, it's nice to finally meet you."

You went closer towards him to shake the outstretched hand he offered but when you did, he only pulled your hand and placed a soft kiss on the knuckles, making your face even redder.

"Piet!" Wanda warned, earning a chuckle from her brother.

Then he let your hand go as you placed the fruit basket on the bedside table. He went on, "It's nice to finally put a face into the name... My sis has been talking nonstop about you-"

"Okay, I think the introduction's enough," Wanda stopped him, threading her fingers through yours as she hurriedly pulled you out of the room. You heard Pietro shout goodbye before the door was closed.

"I'm sorry," you immediately apologized. "I should've texted..."

Wanda shook her head as she smiled. "No, it's okay... you just took me by surprise, that's all..."

When the two of you realized you were still holding hands, you both pulled apart, letting out small apologies and nervous laughs.

"Do you...," Wanda suggested, her hands in the backpockets of her jeans. "Do you want to get some coffee with me downstairs and talk?"

You eagerly nodded back, heart soaring high, you just wished you wouldn't fall harder than before.

You and Wanda spent talking about Pietro's motorbike accident in the coffee shop outside the hospital. He was drunk when it happened, but luckily, no one got hurt aside from him. Wanda eventually shared Pietro always had trouble controlling his alcohol intake. And their mother had grown tired of advising him. The topic made you want to not listen but your emphatic side prevailed. She must had noticed you bothered by the entire thing and immediately changed the topic.

You went back to being close friends with Wanda after the hospital visit. Now without a girlfriend, the library sessions with Wanda became the normalcy. It eventually made you forget to talk about what happened with Christine and Wanda that night after the party. You just didn't want to ruin the friendship you had now with the former redhead, so you decided not to talk about the elephant in the room.

The more time you spent with Wanda, the more your feelings started to grow back. But you always tried to cover it with a smile and quick avoidance of looking into the eyes. Although, there were times that Wanda would caught you staring at her and sometimes, you'd caught her staring at you too. She even surprised you with a birthday cake on your birthday, knocking on your dorm room at exactly midnight, wearing her pajamas. It was cute. But you falling in love with your friend wasn't.

Weeks eventually turned into months, and while you enjoyed the blossoming friendship you had with Wanda, your classes with Professor Fury only sucked more. You spent restless days in the library and when it would close, sleepless nights in the dorm room or coffee shop your friends would agree to meet.

Christine warning you all about the Professor's tactics had given you incentives what to watch out during exams and oral recitations. The redhead even helped you by pretending to be him, asking you what a specific article was talking about. It made yourself rattle while answering her, not used to hear her voice and stature like that. You also enjoyed your friendship with the other redhead, although, you could tell there were times when awkwardness would start to seep in and you'd both resort to shy goodbyes.

When you saw Wanda and Natasha at the same table in the library one day, your heart deflated. You thought you'd never get jealous this much after all this time, even when you spent glaring at the girls who couldn't take their hands off Wanda during the Halloween party three weeks ago. You knew you had no right. Regardless if they were just friends, Wanda had a right to date her.

You forced a smile their way and went to sit at the empty table next to theirs, making Wanda's eyebrows furrowed. When Natasha left, the redhead immediately went to transfer to the table where you were. "Why didn't you sit with us?"

You gave the best smile you could ever muster and a snicker. "Come on, I don't want to disturb the moment you two had."

It only made the frown on her face grow deeper. "We didn't have a moment... We were just talking."

You snorted, shaking your head as you went back to reading your notes. But Wanda only went on, "Does it look like Nat and I are dating? Because we're not..."

You went to look back at her and said. "Hey, relax, Romeo... Now, I have to study this or I'd fail..."

She didn't bother you anymore for the rest of the day. After your classes, you suddenly bumped into Natasha on the way back to the library to photocopy some pages of a book.

"Hey, Y/n," the blonde greeted. "How have you been?"

"I'm good," you answered rather hurriedly and with a squeak in your tone.

Her left brow was raised at you. "Trouble in paradise?"

"What?"

Natasha licked her lips nervously. "Did you and Wanda had a fight because of me?"

Your jaw dropped the very second. "What? No, why would you think of that?"

"Because of earlier-"

"No, it wasn't...," you butted in, shaking your head rather defensively. "I was just trying to give you two privacy..."

Now, the blonde was sporting a confused expression. "Why do we need privacy? Wait, I thought you two were dating."

"No, we're not-"

"Come on," she interjected. "She has been talking about you ever since the first time I met her... And I thought she has finally asked you out... I mean, you two perfectly look cute together."

"I thought you two had sex-"

She snorted in a loud chuckle, making the students around turned their heads your way. "That's preposterous, Y/n... We didn't do anything, I swear... That's why I was mad... Because I thought she just didn't do dates and only did one-night stands, insisting to stay single because of that, but I knew better... She just has her eyes on someone... I didn't know then it was you..."

"Oh."

So, Wanda had been telling the truth that night at the party when you got drunk. You really made a lasting impression on her. Does it mean she still feels the same towards you now?

"Look." Natasha broke you out of your reverie. "I don't want to be a third party, okay? But Wanda had even stopped smoking because of what you told her."

"Told her? Wait, she did?" It was only then when you realized you hadn't seen the redhead smoke this entire time and you didn't even notice.

"I mean, come on, the dedication, Y/n...," she added, giggling. "I mean, I had withdrawals when I stopped smoking myself, must be also as hard to her..."

You didn't put much thought into it even when it bothered you in your sleep that night. You were just grateful it kept you from having nightmares.

But the following day, Wanda abruptly sat on the seat in front of you in the library, placing a bouquet of lilies and a box of what seemed to be from your favorite bakery. The smell of freshly baked cupcakes infiltrated your nose.

Your jaw dropped at the sight, and you immediately uttered. "What's all these?"

Wanda's cheeks were as red as her hair, probably from the coldness of the place but she stuttered on as she asked. "W-What day is it today?"

"What?"

Then she went to check the calendar of her phone, muttering the exact date.

"What does the date have to do with all these?" you asked, confused.

"I... I've read somewhere online that... that you have to wait at least three months before you started dating someone," Wanda went on, avoiding your gaze, her fingers fiddling nervously with her phone.

You couldn't find your voice because you knew where this was going.

"And it's been three months since you and Christine broke up," she added.

"What... What do you mean?" You needed to confirm, learning from the past not to assume on things.

Then Wanda exhaled through her mouth as she now looked at you straight into the eyes. "Y/n, I am courting you."

Your heart must had stopped beating, as if you died on the spot and Wanda was the angel who'd fly you to heaven.

"I know it's not ideal, especially before the holiday break," the redhead explained. "But I... I can't hold on any longer..."

"I thought you don't do relationships," you countered.

She sighed. "That was before I met you... Y-You make me feel things I haven't felt before..."

"Are you...," you stammered with your words. "Are you..."

Then Wanda continued to talk, more confidently now. "Y/n... I let you go away from my life once, even twice... And I'm not gonna let that happen again, okay?

"I want you, Y/n..."

Chapter Text

"What score did you get?" Peter asked the moment you slumped your head down unto your own book, groaning out loud. "96? That's not bad over 115 items-"

"I'm just tired, that's all," you muttered back with your forehead still pressed against the book, your own breathing warming up your face as it hit you back. You hadn't had a proper sleep the night prior thinking about what Wanda did in the library yesterday. The whole thing just ignited your anxiety. It all felt surreal, as if you were still trapped inside your dreams and just got stuck. You suddenly found yourself wishing you wouldn't wake up if that was the case.

After a moment, you finally raised your head from the book, leaning your back fully against the seat. You were in your next class, waiting for your professor to arrive. Peter was currently busy looking through the answers of the test papers you both got from your previous class.

Opening your book just to pass the time, you immediately noticed a sticky note on one of the pages, making you flip back to where you saw it.

A smile crept up into your face, your cheeks all flushed and your heart fluttered as you recognized the handwriting, knowing by heart it was Wanda's. You had been spending a lot of time staring at how amazingly talented her fingers were. In a non-sexual way, of course.

If you were a fruit, you'd be a 'fine-apple.'

"What are you suddenly so happy about?" Peter brought you out from your trance. You quickly closed the book before you while shaking your head. But being the nosy best friend he was, he got ahold of it and immediately found the page where the sticky note was placed, loudly uttering the words Wanda wrote for you. "If you were a fruit... you'd be a 'fine-apple'? I didn't think you'd turn Wanda into a cheesy romantic, Y/n."

Your face only got redder as you playfully punched Peter's shoulder, tugging the book out of his grasp. "Shut up... And how did you even know it was hers?"

"I know that smile...," he explained. "You only smile like that whenever Wanda's around..."

You suddenly began to wonder what other ways you had behaved around the redhead.

"About time, don't you think?" Peter went on.

Before you could reply, Tony gave you both a jump when he surprised you two from behind. "What's up?"

And as your friends continued to tease you about it, you realized then that it was really happening. Wanda was indeed courting you.

The sticky notes weren't the only things she did, although you got yourself wondering how slick she was on putting them into your stuff without you noticing. Good morning and good night texts were underrated, always bringing you a warm happy fuzzy feeling after waking up and before going to sleep. When the redhead had free time in her hands, she'd even walk you to your dorm or your classes or even heading towards your shift at Loki's store. You'd tell her she didn't have to do that but she said she didn't mind, quipping it with a cheesy line that made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy.

When Pepper found out, she had only intensified the teasings. With your friends helping you out on finishing the fourth box of cupcakes you received from Wanda throughout the week, you couldn't help but worry. Because it was all too good to be true. You remembered how just last year, the redhead wouldn't even spare a glance your way and wanted you gone from her vision. Although, the drunk confession convinced you that maybe, there was still hope.

If it wasn't for Tony pushing your shoulder to get your attention, you wouldn't be able to see Wanda enter the cafeteria looking so gorgeous as ever in a white button-down shirt and black skinny jeans. Her eyes scanned the place, eventually landing on you, making your heart skip a beat as a smile appeared on her face.

Your friends' teasings only got worse the nearer she got to you.

"Hey," you greeted, abruptly standing up.

Wanda smiled as she greeted back to you then to your friends. When she held your hand in hers, your friends immediately went quiet. "Do you mind if I can borrow Y/n from you guys?"

It took them seconds to reply, eyes drifting towards your linked hands.

Pepper was the one who broke out first. "Oh, please go ahead."

"Have her all you want," Peter chided in.

Tony added, "Go make beautiful babies."

You wanted to be buried under the ground from embarrassment, but Wanda was already pulling you towards the exit.

"Where are we going?" you asked.

"It's a surprise," she said, looking at you with a smirk on her face.

You saw Maria and Steve waiting by the door of the Student Media and Publication office, which was Maria's at the moment being the chief editor. You had no idea what was behind the door until they greeted the both of you and left, your brows furrowed. As you both entered, a tablecloth was laid out on the table in the center of the room, adorned with a fresh bouquet of lilies, lunch and another box of cupcakes.

"Wanda," you gasped, your throat dry.

"Is it too much? Is it too corny? I wanted to take you out to a proper restaurant, but with our vacant time, it wouldn't be possible... Oh god... Steve was right, it's too much-"

You looked at her and immediately noticed she was fidgeting with her fingers, nervous that you wouldn't like it. You squeezed her hand for assurance as you faced her. "Hey, it's perfect and really sweet... I love it... Thank you..."

The smile on her face was back as she gestured for you to sit. "I cooked Chicken Paprikash for you," Wanda said, as you two began taking seats.

"You did?"

"My mother taught me and Pietro when we were younger," she went on as she opened the Tupperware before you. "I borrowed Maria's kitchen, she lives nearby... Here, have a taste."

Wanda picked up a shred of the chicken meat with her fork and held it in front of your mouth, making you all flustered as you accepted. You closed your eyes to the amazing taste of the dish, unknowingly letting out a moan when you did. "This is so good, Wands... You should have become a chef."

When you finally opened your eyes, you thought you saw Wanda's green orbs darkened with a familiar look you had seen before. You could tell they were focused on your lips as you chewed on the food. "It's good," you added, making her shake her head, nodding back. "Thank you, Y/n..."

It didn't stop from there. The lunch dates went on through the days that followed. Sometimes, Wanda would find another place for the gesture. Other times, she'd invite you to a coffee shop nearby. Being chased like this was not what you expected from the redhead. But you only let her, even when you knew she already and always had your heart.

You didn't even stop her like what you did with Christine's efforts. And you wondered why. Was it because you were having doubts that if Wanda would grow tired, she'd eventually stop? Were you testing her?

Or maybe it was because you were enjoying it.

"Would you grace me with your presence this Saturday night?" Wanda asked, suddenly appearing beside you as you placed some books back into the shelves in the library, making you jump. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

You softly chuckled as you shook your head. "It's okay. What were you saying?"

"I was thinking, maybe, well, if y-you're not busy, that is," she stuttered. "You and I can go watch a movie this Saturday night-"

"Yes," you quickly answered, smiling from ear to ear.

Her face lit up as she stumbled on her feet, trying to straighten herself up, her arm leaning against the shelf as she supported herself. "Yes?"

You nodded back. "As long as I'll pay for the movie... You have already done too much-"

"I already bought the tickets," she said, cutting you off.

You pursed your lips, thinking. "Oh, okay, popcorns and drinks, then."

It was only then when you realized the proximity between you two was just a small gap. It didn't take you long to notice how her eyes drifted to your lips then back to your eyes in a matter of seconds. Is she leaning in?

You could feel Wanda leaning forward towards you, about to kiss you right there. You prayed for yourself not to faint. When the books accidentally fell on the floor from your grasp, the trance was broken. Wanda hurriedly kneeled in front of you and helped you pick them up, meeting halfway, with hands brushing against each other and heads almost colliding.

"I'll text you the details," she quickly said as she bid farewell, her voice hitched a tone higher. And you stayed frozen on your spot after you waved goodbye.

On the chilly Saturday night, you had convinced yourself that Wanda was serious about you. When the movie started, you could see Wanda's knee was jumping restlessly as she faced the screen. You tried to calm her down by placing your hand on her thigh, which you doubt made any difference and only got her tense. "You okay?"

It took her awhile before she finally answered you. "Yeah, I'm fine."

As you both continued to watch the film before you, you realized then that it was a scary one, catching Wanda close her eyes during some scenes and sometimes, holding your hand during a jumpy one, which you thought at first she was only trying to touch you but in actuality, the redhead was just scared.

"Wands," you whispered as Wanda covered her eyes with the popcorn bag in her hands. "Why did you choose this movie? I thought you hated horror films."

"But you love them," she reasoned out, looking at you with puppy eyes. "Don't you like it? Is it not scary enough?"

And you couldn't believe it, because the strong personality of Wanda was cracking, making you see the sweet nice girl underneath. "Oh, that's so sweet, you watched a scary movie for me."

Wanda guiltily smiled but immediately hid behind your shoulders as the character in the movie began his murder spree. Your hand covered her eyes as the scenes got intense, her holding back your hand as to ensure you wouldn't betray her. "Do you want us to leave?"

"No," she immediately answered, still hiding. You stopped yourself from giggling on how cute she looked so you went to thread your fingers into her other hand, holding her. She seemed to relax a bit but she didn't leave your side, her hiding spot.

After the movie, you invited Wanda to eat from a food truck you knew nearby, knowing she liked Middle Eastern food, having it mentioned once. You happily enjoyed the Baklava you got while she got herself a Falafel pita sandwich, walking through the crowded streets as you both head back to the university.

The snow was beginning to fall after you two finished eating. The flakes on Wanda's head made her look like a goddess, as if it was a nice accessory to her hair. Although she always looked like one, it was difficult to stray your eyes away from staring at her.

You, on the other hand, probably looked like you had dandruffs all over your hair.

Rubbing your shoulders as you continued your walk heading back to the university, you felt something warm wrapped around you, realizing that Wanda had given you her coat. You tried to shrug it off you, knowing she'd be cold but she insisted she still had layers of sweater. Your thoughts were immediately filled with that night you had spent together when you first met her father. You hadn't returned her jacket after that.

Already closer to your dorm building, the snow began to fall hard, almost looking like a blizzard, making you and Wanda run the remaining steps towards safety.

"Fuck, that was brutal," Wanda panted, making you both laugh. You wrapped back her coat around her after seeing the redhead trembling before you. You then brushed off some snow from her hair, not noticing how close you were to each other and how her eyes never left your mouth. Not being able to control yourself any longer, you slowly leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her cheek, painting it pink.

"Thank you for a wonderful night," you muttered softly. Wanda thanked you as well, face still blushing as she gave you a salute, while slowly stepping back away from you.

"I look forward to more dates with you," Wanda then said, hands in her coat. "And you're not allowed to say no."

You laughed at her as she chortled back, the butterflies in your stomach threatening to escape, wanting you to just fuck formalities and take Wanda into your arms. But you wanted the redhead to make the move first. And she was being way too much respectful, it felt like a crime.

"How about tomorrow, then?" Wanda added with hopeful eyes. She was almost by the stairs.

The smile on your face fell. "Oh, I can't..."

"It's okay, it's not-"

"I have to babysit my stepsiblings," you admitted, giving her an apologetic smile. "The grownups will only be back by Monday morning."

"Oh, the little rascals." The redhead knew about your stepsiblings, sometimes talking about them whenever topic would require. But she hadn't met the two yet. "Some other time, then."

You smiled and nodded back, already looking forward to Monday, when you'd get to be with the redhead again.

What you didn't expect was Wanda knocking on your dad's house the following night, smiling sheepishly as she carried in her hands an old stereo and some stacks of large cue cards. And to think about how you just watched the whole Love Actually movie during dinner with the kids because Wanda said she was watching it.

"Who is it?!" You heard Sue shout from the living room, leaving them behind to watch another Christmas movie.

Wanda grinned at you as she quickly flashed the very first card before you with the words saying, Say it's carol singers.

You shook your head as you silently laughed. You hurriedly shouted back to the kids. "Just some carol singers!"

The redhead then placed the stereo on the ground and pressed the play button. The song Silent Night began softly playing into the cold night. Wanda went on flashing the cue cards before you.

It was your smile at the party when we first met.

The first time I saw it,

I knew I wanted to see it for the rest of my life.

You did something to me,

breathing life and love into my heart

teaching me that it's okay to feel these things.

And I can no longer make myself not feel it

Will you grant me a chance to be somebody in your life?

Not only as a friend (because I want to kiss you and more)

The two of you softly chuckled at that. Then she slowly flashed the next cards.

Y/n Y/l/n

Will you be my girlfriend?

Wanda had rendered you speechless. You didn't even know how you were still standing at that point when you could have lost consciousness moments ago.

"You don't have to say yes now...,"Wanda eventually broke the silence. "I will still keep on chasing you, even if you would grow irritated by me."

You broke out chuckling as you closed the door behind you, stepping closer towards her, nodding with tears in your eyes.

"Is that a yes?" Wanda asked, lowering the cards on the ground.

You wrapped your arms around her neck, burying your face into her hair. She held you back with her hands on your back, swearing you heard her groaning softly as she pressed her nose to your hair. "Of course, yes," you breathily gasped into her ears. "I'd be the happiest person in the world."

Wanda pulled away, her eyes widened in disbelief, as if she couldn't believe you'd give her a chance after all she did to you last year. "You do?"

You nodded back, looking straight into her eyes as hers bored into yours, probing more questions she was hesitant to ask.

"I know it's too much to ask, but can I kiss you?" Wanda asked, barely a whisper.

You didn't even reply to her question as you pressed your lips against hers, your hand cupping her face. When you pulled away, ready to apologize for being forward, Wanda had her eyes close, slowly fluttering open, making you see her pupils darkened with lust, a familiar hungry sight you saw the first time you met. It was as if you had awakened something in Wanda, assuring her that if she decided to claim you, you would willingly present yourself as offer.

Wanda's hand immediately went to the back of your neck as she pulled you into a bruising kiss. Her tongue swiped your lips for a second, asking for entry. And you gladly took her in. You missed how she tasted in your mouth, and the more intense and hungry the kiss had become, you didn't notice you were backed against the wall of your father's house, as Wanda pressed her body against yours. You might have accidentally let out a whimper into the kiss as her leg slotted between your thighs, making the redhead immediately pull back and step away like she had hurt you.

"I'm sorry," she uttered, rubbing her hand on the back of her neck. "I got carried away."

"No, it's okay," you quickly said. "I want you to get carried away."

Wanda released a nervous laugh, her cheeks all red. She licked her lips before speaking. "I want to do this right... I don't want you to think that I want you only for one night, Y/n... I want you every night and every day, and for the rest of my life..."

The butterflies had managed to escape from the confines of your stomach, swarming their way to your heart, ready to conquer your entire being.

"I want you too, Wands," you confessed. "Just as much... Even more... It hasn't changed a bit... To be honest, it had only gotten worse."

"Why worse?"

"Because I couldn't have you back then... I thought... I even thought you would never like me."

Wanda moved back closer towards you as she apologized. "I'm so sorry to have ever made you feel like that. I haven't done this before. And I got scared of the immediate effect you had on me. After the first night, I couldn't stop thinking about you, Y/n..." She paused. "I thought I was going insane. But then you suddenly showed up in the library, making me crazier." She brushed a strand of your hair over your ear before she went on. "I thought... I thought I'd never meet someone like you in my life."

"Wands..." You and Wanda were about to pull each other into another searing kiss when Johnny and Sue began teasing loudly from the door, which was now wide open.

~~~from Love Actually~~~

Chapter Text

"...So, in line with your excellent noteworthy performance during the year, especially on the actual number of sales met, I've decided to give you each bonus for Christmas," Loki finished. Without giving you time to reply, he immediately handed out green envelopes to you and Christine. You and the redhead were inside Loki's office after being called out for a surprise meeting, not expecting that it would turn out to be good news. The holiday break just started three days ago.

Now back at the store to tend to customers after thanking Loki, Christine began talking about where she'd spend her bonus for, saving it for the apartment she'd invest after graduation. Her parents would partially help her though.

"What about you?" she asked after arranging the stacks of vinyl records in the aisle.

"Mm?"

"What would you do with yours? It seems like Loki was generous this year."

You were just saying thank you and please come again to a customer who bought a Gameboy as a Christmas present for her gamer boyfriend.

"I'm saving up for something," you answered, a smile on your face, thinking about the DSLR camera you saw during one of your walks together with Wanda, where you noticed her looking.

It had been one week since you and her started officially as lovers and it had been pure bliss. You just wished you could still spend more time with her knowing she'd go home for Christmas.

"Mmmm, let me guess, for Wanda?" Christine teased. After you said yes to Wanda, you had told your ex-girlfriend about the entire thing, hoping that she was okay with it. Although you could tell it still bothered the other redhead a bit, she tried to be ecstatic about the news. Apparently, her and Stephen weren't faring well, having occasional fights every now and then. Christine even mentioned she hated how insensitive he was and wishing he was more like you.

You chose not to answer, instead giving her a nervous chuckle, knowing she might not take it lightly.

"You know, I still can't believe you've turned Wanda into someone romantic...," she started, her tone trying to sound worried. "I mean, knowing her reputation and all."

You knew Christine was only trying to be a friend, warning you about things that could hurt your fragile heart. But Wanda has changed and you believed the latter redhead.

"She has changed," you sort of defended, elbows leaning against the counter behind your back.

"Oh, I'm not saying she hasn't, Y/n,"Christine explained. "It's just... kind of weird, that's all..."

You frowned at her statement. "Why weird?"

She shrugged her shoulders, as she carried a box of new vinyl records in her hands. "Because she's also graduating... Eventually, she'll land a decent job a city away from here... I just thought she'd be more like no strings attachment before leaving College."

You really didn't think about that. Still drowning in happiness that you and Wanda finally had each other, you couldn't get yourself to think about what would happen months from now, anything besides enjoying the present. So you let your future you worry about it later.

The sticky notes, lunch dates and other sweet romantic gestures still went on even after you said yes to Wanda. She said that as long as it would put a smile on your face, she wouldn't stop.

"I'm bananas for you," Pepper suddenly muttered, tone amused.

Looking at your friend with a confused expression, you asked, "What did you say?"

She flashed towards you the sticky note she found on the book you borrowed from her, deciding to return it before she goes home for Christmas. Apparently, Wanda thought it was yours. "You know I am already dating Tony, right?" she pointed out, laughing.

You chuckled back and immediately quipped, pulling the note from her hand. "Shut up."

Pepper only gave you a sly smile before talking. "I'm really happy for you, Y/n... You two look perfect together."

"Do we?" You let out a long sigh as you leaned your back against the wall of her dorm room. "Because I don't know... It all sounds too good to be true-"

"Don't be so hard on yourself... You and Wanda had been pining over each other for a long time already and to think that she has never been with anyone since you was a good sign, Y/n."

Pepper was right. Wanda hadn't been with anyone, even just a quick hookup with girls, since that night you and the redhead had sex. Her reputation was broken without even knowing it. It was like you were the curse that stopped her from seeing other girls.

Sometimes, before the holiday break started, you found yourself growing wary around the people in the university staring at you, knowing they were thinking about how someone like yourself could land the most beautiful woman, how good you must be in bed to make Wanda settle on you or how good of a whore you could be.

During the early annual Christmas party Tony hosted, you could find girls leeching their way towards your girlfriend. And although, you knew Wanda wouldn't bat an eye or give them her time, you couldn't help but feel jealous, like you own her even when you weren't even dating that long. You didn't want to come as possessive that the redhead would soon get scared of you. But you wanted to be selfish. Even when Wanda wasn't an object, and she was her own person, you wanted her heart to belong to you and only you. It would be fair considering she already owned yours.

In terms of the bed situation, Wanda had been undeniably sweet and unreasonably respectful. Respectful to the point that you and her had hungrily made out with each other on your bed in your dorm room or sometimes in hers, hands groping on each other's body, you wishing she could just move it a bit lower but she wouldn't. Every single time the makeout session would turn heavier and find yourselves moaning into the kiss, she would gradually slow it down to no reason at all, only making you sexually frustrated. You wondered how the redhead was able to control herself, even that one time when she was wearing a skirt and you could feel some dampness in her underwear seeping through your thighs as you kissed during what was supposed to be a movie night to the two of you.

You couldn't really blame Wanda. You knew she was only trying to be nice, and that she didn't want you to see that she was just all good in bed. And you weren't particularly expressive on what you wanted either. It wasn't like you would push her to limits and make the first move.

If Wanda wanted to take it slow, you'd try for her. But knowing she'd leave any day now for the holidays, you couldn't handle not being able to.

You and Wanda went bowling one night, after spending a whole day with her father. Wanda finally introduced you as her girlfriend, to which her father only responded he already knew. How Wanda was nice and sweet to you the entire time made you fall even harder towards the redhead. And you couldn't blame gravity for that. You two were even close to getting kicked out for the PDA you both were sporting in the place.

And you weren't supposed to say the love word. You wouldn't want the redhead to run away because of that. How easily you could fall for Wanda had always been a wonderful mystery to you. But fuck it, you had loved her for a year now.

"You okay?" Wanda broke you out of your thoughts. You two were laying on your bed, your head resting on her chest as her hand caress your hair, listening to Those Eyes by New West playing through the speakers of your phone.

You invited the redhead to spend the night at your dorm due to the blizzard happening outside after the bowling date you had, just to sleep. Yes, for shelter. Not for sexual purposes.

It wasn't the first time Wanda had stayed in your dorm after officially dating, the first being an awkward shy time as if she hadn't been to your room once fucking the sense out of you. When she saw the sketchbook you had in your room, and her being nude in one of the drawings, she began turning red and teasing you about it, making you not always inviting the redhead around, just to ensure that there weren't anything else in the room she'd see. Sometimes, you'd just have pillow talks, talking about her mom, your mom and how she died, eventually sharing that sometimes, you dreamed about your mother mad at you for some reason.

When you felt Wanda's fingers tracing your arm, you shook yourself. You didn't want to scare her by admitting how much you love her. You just got her.

"Yeah, I'm fine," you finally answered. "Just thinking about how I'm gonna miss you when you go home."

You heard her sigh and her heart beating erratically. Sometimes, you imagined hearing your name echoing inside. "I can stay... I could ask my mom to stay-"

You pulled away and looked at her, your hand on her chest. "No, please don't. I don't want you to do that... For me-"

"You know, I'd do anything for you," she interjected, eyes staring right through you. "All you have to do is ask."

Your brows furrowed at that, not sure what she meant. So you tried to joke about it and teased her instead. "Okay, so if I asked for you to make love with me tonight, you'd do it?"

You expected Wanda to laugh but her eyes only darkened, dilated even like a cat's, and cheeks turned as red as her hair. Then after a pause, she effortlessly flipped you on your back, making you gasp. She hovered above you, straddling your hips, as she teased with a smirk. "Is that what you want?"

"W-What?" God, you were such a hopeless case.

"You know I want to," she went on, face leaning forward inches away from you, you could actually feel her breath. "I've been dying to have you... to taste you like I did before..."

The nervous swallow you did must had been noticeable because you could see Wanda's eyes drifting towards your throat.

"But I...," she went on, licking her lips. "I don't want you to think that that's what I'm all after, Y/n."

Wanda kept on surprising you on how completely different she was from the image she set out for the public to see. You tucked a strand of her hair over her ear, then cupping her face. "Hey, relax... I know, Wands. I know. And it's not really what I'm all after too. I want you forever, Wanda."

Your confession made Wanda smile, leaning in to your hand as she closed her eyes. When she opened them, back were the lustful blown ones she had earlier.

"Although," she started, wrapping her fingers around your wrist as she held it above your head, along with your other hand, fingers threading at each other. "I don't want you to feel like I don't want you when all I ever wanted," she paused as she leaned into your ear and nibbled your lobe, making you release a strangled moan. "Was to hear you scream my name out loud."

"Fuck," you gasped.

She softly chuckled as she pulled away, letting your hands go as she braced herself on the sheets instead.

"But if you want to, I won't be stopping you." You quipped back, biting your lower lip as you wrapped your arms around her neck, pulling her back. "Besides, you were my first and we ended up together after all."

There was silence after that, making you look at Wanda who was suddenly immobile, just staring back at you. "Hey, you okay?"

"I was your first?" she asked, the worry wrinkle appearing on her forehead.

"Oh." Your cheeks red, not realizing you had admitted that. "Y-Yeah."

"Like first first?" she went on. "Or you know, just first one to use a toy in you?"

You giggled. "First first, Wanda." Then you leaned forward and place a soft kiss on her lips then on her nose. "And I was glad it was you... You were gentle with me."

After that, you pulled Wanda into a searing kiss to which she reciprocated. Her mouth was your source of life you would never get tired of tasting. When it all became too much, and you were about to tell her you were ready, she pulled away. But instead of suggesting to watch a movie to distract you two from getting carried away, she explained.

"I want to do something special for you."

"What?"

Her hand went to cup your face as her thumb gently traced the outline of your lower lip. "I didn't know you were a virgin when we-.. we.... I should have made it more special."

"Hey, hey, relax...," you stopped her, shaking your head. "I'm not complaining about that."

But you knew it bothered the redhead. It even took her awhile to reply to your messages the following night when you invited her over to sleep before leaving for the holidays.

You heard a knock on your door, expecting Wanda to come inside. You even shouted her to come in as you tidied your bed a bit. But after what seemed to be significantly long, she didn't enter. When you opened the door, there was no one before you, making you wonder if you were suddenly hearing things. But your eyes immediately caught something on the floor. As you glanced down, you saw a bouquet of flowers on the doorstep. You crouched down to pick it up and noticed a note in it saying. Put on your jacket and meet me at my dorm room. -W

Your stomach fluttered in all sorts as you changed into something outdoorsy, grabbing your jacket then made your way to her building.

When you knocked at her door, Wanda opened it all dressed so handsome and beautiful with a gray suit and a black shirt underneath, making your jaw drop. She then pulled your hand as she led you inside the room, where you noticed soft romantic music was playing in the background and there were what seemed to be LED flameless candles around the room. Lighting actual candles were forbidden in the dorms. Your eyes then ventured towards the bed, which was covered in rose petals.

"What's all t-these?" you stuttered, meeting Wanda's eyes.

"Y/n.. I hope you have nothing scheduled for tonight," she began as she moved closer towards you. "Or early tomorrow."

You swallowed a nervous lump in your throat as your heart started to beat abnormally. "W-Why?"

"Because...," Wanda paused as she leaned into your ear before whispering. "I'm going to properly take your virginity as if it's your first time."

Chapter Text

"Wands, please."

You choked out another moan, feeling Wanda's lips lingered longer on the skin just below your ear as she harshly left a mark. The redhead had been enjoying herself, intending to paint you red all over. As if any part of your body without it was offending to her eyes and needed adjustments.

Rihanna's Love On The Brain was slurring from the speakers of her phone, the music covering the tiny whimpers you failed to hide.

You wanted to thread your fingers through her hair but the hold she had on both of your wrists above your head was unwavering. All you could do was whine on how uncomfortable your underwear felt sticking into you, desperately seeking release.

When Wanda proposed to meet you in her dorm, this was the last thing you expected. And although your heart melted for her grand romantic gesture, you couldn't help but worry how she'd feel seeing you in your We Bare Bears low waist cotton underwear. You didn't have that much time to change, nor expecting things would escalate to this. When Wanda pulled you to her bed after she whispered into your ear how she was going to properly take you to bed, you tried to get out from her grasps, just for you to change into something a bit more presentable and sexy, not some childish cartoon characters you knew she'd laugh at. But the redhead's mouth was already starting to do its wonders as she captured your lips in a searing kiss, making you forget anything else and focus on how amazing her tongue felt playing with yours. Bad choice of underwear quickly forgotten.

Letting out another whimper as Wanda bit the skin after sucking it for a good amount of time, you thrashed under her, willing your hands to move. But damn, her hold on you was strong.

You heard her chuckling softly, her puffs of breath making your skin shiver. Her lips then nibbled your earlobe, pulling it before whispering huskily, "Patience, baby."

Suddenly, you found yourself instinctively grinding into her thigh that was conveniently slotted between yours, no longer caring how you were going to ruin her suit knowing you were already drenched in your underwear and it was seeping through her pants.

Wanda went on peppering kisses all over your neck, still leaving marks you were too hot and bothered to complain. Maybe, you'd ask your friend Pepper how to cover it with makeup tomorrow.

The redhead finally took mercy as she let go of your hands, immediately delving inside of your shirt, cupping your breasts underneath the brassiere you almost forgot to wear.

"Mmm," you let out a soft whimper, your hand successfully running through Wanda's hair as she continued painting your neck red all the way down to your collarbone while her hands kneaded your breasts as if she was carefully crafting a delicate dough. When you unexpectedly released a loud moan after feeling her flex her thigh into you, she quickly captured your mouth to muffle the sounds you couldn't believe you were making. You knew you'd both get into trouble if the resident advisor would happen to pass by the room.

After a moment, she pulled away from the kiss, making your mouth chase after hers. She began to straddle on your hips, her hands hurriedly pulling your shirt over you. You helped her with eager, even went to unclip your brassiere behind your back and taking it off by yourself.

The way Wanda was looking at you right now was feral. You could no longer see the green in her eyes, already filled with darkness blown by lust. As if you were her favorite food that she had been deprived from having for too long. The uneven rise and fall of the redhead's chest and the slight ajar of her mouth made you realize she had trouble breathing.

"Baby," Wanda panted, her hands slithering back to your stomach, eventually cupping your breasts in a teasing manner. "You have no idea how long I have missed touching and seeing you like this..."

"Fuck," you moaned, throwing your head back into the pillow as she leaned in forward, her mouth capturing one of your nipples already awake and craving for her touch. She gave the aching bud a generous suck that immediately turned hungry, as if she was drinking milk from you. You arched your back, your hand instinctively went to hold her head in place, fingers threading through her hair, sometimes pulling when you felt her suck a bit too hard, earning a loud whimper from you. Her other hand began kneading the neglected breast, fingers tugging and twisting your other nipple.

You were going crazy. You felt like you were going to explode. And you hated being this desperate. But fuck! The way her tongue swirled around your nipple, alternating between your two breasts, her teeth sometimes grazing the skin, pulling it, made you cover your mouth with the back of your hand as you bit into it to hold out your moans.

"Wands-"

The redhead couldn't contain it any longer either as you felt her hands left your breasts and started to hastily fumble with the waistband of your sweatpants, tugging it off you. You craned your head to see her reaction to your cartoon underwear, ready to explain that you weren't expecting you'd both be doing the deed tonight. But you stopped, biting your lower lip as you noticed the hungry look from Wanda's eyes didn't change and only darkened upon seeing the wet spot forming on the center of your garment. "You're so wet for me, baby... I can't wait to fucking taste you."

You cursed at Wanda as she took her time, trailing long suction-like kisses all over your inner thighs, leaving marks as her gift to you. You could literally feel her smirking when the only thing you could do was attempt to buck your hips towards her face, desperate for release she had been too selfish to grant. You were already dripping, probably soaking through her sheets. Your heart soaring to extremities when you felt her fingers go around the hem of your underwear as she finally slipped it off you.

"Y/n, baby, you're so fucking beautiful," Wanda breathily husked out. You peered at the redhead again and found her holding your legs apart with her strong arms, staring right at your vulnerable part. "You're so fucking wet, my dear... All for me."

You were always hers. Time and fate were just cruel.

You found yourself nodding, muttering yes into the air. "Wanda, please don't tease, fuck-"

Feeling her tongue press against your wet folds as she licked a broad stripe all the way to your swollen clit, you threw your head back deeper into the pillows, your eyes rolling back so far in your head as you let out an uncontrolled whimper.

The redhead moaned below you. "Fuck, you're even sweeter as I remembered."

If there were still students in the dorm who stayed during the holidays, they were really in for a treat. Your hands held on tightly against the pillows beside you or against the sheets, going lost as to where they would go.

Wanda only continued her assault, her tongue lapping all the juices that you were producing in inordinate amount, her hands holding your thighs wide open for her, stopping your weak attempts to close them around her head.

You bit your lower lip to stop yourself from moaning out loud, or even the back of your hand, knowing anyone could have already heard what you and Wanda were doing. You were so ashamedly close and it wasn't even a minute before she started devouring you like a deprived animal.

It didn't even take that long when her mouth latched unto your aching clit and sucked on it with want. You came violently, body trembling in stuttering waves, back arching multiple times as you clutched so hard against the sheets underneath you that your knuckles had turned white. You didn't even stop the moan coming out deep from your throat that could have been pornographic to others' ears.

But Wanda was relentless. She didn't took mercy. She didn't stop from there as you immediately felt two of her fingers slipping into your folds without any resistance. The redhead wasn't even moving then but the action already sent you into another orgasm, your hands ended up grasping her hair as you bucked shamelessly into her face. Her hands must had let go from their hold as your thighs instinctively closed on their own around Wanda's head, probably restricting her breathing passageway as she bobbed her head and continued to ravage you, her fingers immobile but deep inside your cunt.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you moaned into the night as your body shook in multitudes, turning, thrashing on the bed. It was almost a minute before you started to come down from your high.

Your body relaxed but flinched when Wanda began moving her fingers, thrusting them lazily into you.

"Wands-" You tried to stop her but the redhead didn't listen to your pleas as she continued on pumping her fingers inside you, pace gradually increasing as she crawled upwards then pulled your mouth in a searing insistent kiss. You groaned into the kiss, tasting yourself in her mouth. Your leg somehow ended on top of her shoulder, the angle making her fingers reach the deeper parts of you that made your eyes roll to the back.

You could hear Gravity by Coldplay starting to play in the background. The sensitivity from the redhead's touch eventually turned into pleasure as she kept on her pace, the sloshing sound from you intensifying, making you let out another dirty whimper into the kiss.

Wanda pulled away from your swollen lips as she stared right through your eyes. You fought so hard for your eyes not to shut close from the ecstatic feeling. But when she added another finger into play, your hands ended on her back, nails digging into her skin, scratching unintentionally. Her pace only fastened as she looked into you with predatory eyes.

And then I looked up at the sun and I could see
Oh, the way that gravity pulls on you and me

If it wasn't for the music still playing in the background, the filthy sound from your moans and wet skins slapping together would have been way too noticeable for passersby.

"Look at me, Y/n," Wanda ordered as your eyes attempted to shut on their own. You were losing grasp of reality, about to be thrown into the depths of your own oblivion. "I want to see you come on my fingers." You lost it, Wanda could just be saying random words in her sexy voice and you would have lost either way. Your walls clenched around her digits, but the redhead only pushed through amidst the tightness growing.

I can hear your heart beating
I can hear that sound

"Come for me, baby," she cooed softly. You found yourself nearly there, body tensing as your nails only dug deeper unto her shoulder, breaking into skin. If this was death, then you'd wish to be reincarnated just to live through this again.

"Oh, god, fuck, Wands," you whimpered as you began to shudder uncontrollably under her, her mouth then swallowing your moans as she kissed you. You might had accidentally bitten her lips when you tasted something like copper. As you started to calm down after almost a minute, she pulled away from your mouth and placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

"You did so well for me, baby," she muttered praises, bringing the pinkness on your cheeks in full display. The madness in your heart was deafening as you tried to normalize your own breathing. Your body was still twitching in aftershocks as her other hand began to caress your skin, slowly lowering down your leg from her shoulder and pulling her fingers inch by inch from your swollen cunt, making you groan from the loss.

Your eyes were already stuttering to a close as you felt yourself drifting to slumber. Wanda laid herself on the bed beside you, pulling your tired state into her arms, your limbs instinctively wrapping around her like a koala as you treasured the warmth from your girlfriend's body.

"Just," you managed to utter, barely a whisper as your eyes threatened to shut. "Just give me a few minutes... a-and I'll return the favor..."

You heard Wanda chuckling and reasoning out that the night was all about you, but you were already taken deep into dreamworld.

The next time you finally opened your eyes, the sunlight was already seeping through the curtains. Wanda was still beside you. Her arm was wrapped around your waist while your face was buried on the crook between her neck and shoulder.

Your eyebrows furrowed when you noticed you were wearing a shirt you remembered Wanda had worn one time. The girl had also changed into her sleeping clothes, wondering when she had managed during the night to do that and how tired you must had been. To give yourself some credit, you didn't sleep that well the other night thinking about what you and Wanda would do before she went home for the holidays.

Wanda looked so peaceful and beautiful while asleep. You had spent more times ogling the way she just lay there, more than you could think of. If you uttered how much you loved her, the silence of the morning would make her hear it. You could. But you just had her.

And then dreadful guilt suddenly filled you when you realized you didn't return the favor to the redhead last night. It wasn't your intention to sleep. No.

"You awake?" Wanda's sleepy voice slurred above you. You must had awaken the redhead by the monstrous sound of your heart beating with dread.

You pulled away and cursed softly, glancing at her beautiful angelic face. "Sorry... Did I wake you?"

The redhead only smiled as she shook her head. Your hand then cupped her face as you grabbed her into a lazy kiss while your other hand went to slip inside her shirt and fondle with her breast, thumb flicking through her sleeping nipple. She smiled into the kiss. "What are you doing?"

You giggled back. "I'm sorry I slept last night... I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay," Wanda interjected. "The night was only for you anyway.. Besides, I wouldn't suspect you'd be able to get up after that."

You chuckled and pulled away, rolling your eyes at her. "Don't get so cocky."

When your hand left her breast and slid through the waistband of her shorts, you realized she wasn't wearing any underwear as you immediately felt her drenched folds meeting your fingers.

"Fuck," Wanda gasped, bucking her hips towards your hand, closing her eyes to a tight shut as your fingers encircled around her clit agonizingly slow.

"I can't believe it, you're still so wet," you teased. When she opened her eyes, gone were the softened ones you were just looking into mere seconds ago, replaced by hungry eyes you had witnessed last night.

Without exerting too much effort, she managed to flip you on your back as she straddled above you, bunching your long shirt up to your waist, revealing your naked cunt before the redhead.

Wanda hurriedly got rid of her own ruined shorts and mounted on your inner right thigh, your left leg raised up before her to lean against her shoulder. When your centers met, your giggles eventually faltered as you let out a whimper.

"Baby," she gasped breathily. "You feel so good..."

The redhead groaned above you as she started moving, drenched folds and clits gliding against each other, the filthy sounds filling the crisp morning air. You leaned forward by bracing your elbows behind you, capturing her lips in a bruising kiss, the hold she had around your leg tightening, nails digging as she rode you with fervor, pace fastening each second.

The intense overwhelming feeling made you throw your head back into the pillows as you arched your back, getting yourself so turned on just by watching Wanda fuck you relentlessly. You could feel her hips stuttering, knowing she was close. Your hands gripped unto her thighs as you attempted to buck into her.

You wanted to tell her. To confess that she made you feel special. To reciprocate the way she had told you how much you meant to her during her drunken confession.

I love you. I love you.

You wished your eyes would convey the messages as you stared at each other.

Then it hit Wanda like a ton of bricks, her eyes shutting close before you, mouth gaping as she released a string of moans you hadn't heard from the redhead before, body shaking in front of you. The sight and sound alone made you reach your own oblivion as you trembled underneath her, meeting her thrusts.

After a moment of recovery, Wanda then lowered your leg and leaned forward to kiss you, her other hand going to the bottom drawer beside the bed. Your mind already whirred in motion, knowing what she was going to retrieve. But suddenly, there was a knock on the door, making you both pull away from the kiss with bewildered eyes.

She hastily pulled away from you and got herself off the bed, quickly slipping on the shorts she discarded earlier. You scrambled off the bed too, lowering the long shirt you wore as Wanda peered through the peephole. As if on instinct, you went to arrange the bed which currently looked like a hurricane just passed through it.

"It's my mom," Wanda announced in a whisper, now looking at you.

Your eyes only widened, body frozen on the spot. "What?"

"I'm gonna open the door-"

"No, don't, I'm not wearing anything underneath," you explained, running your hand through your hair to tidy the mess.

"You look perfectly fine, Y/n, beautiful, okay?" Wanda assured you, never failing to make your cheeks red even at times like these.

"Fine?" you asked incredulously, hiding the flowers by covering it with a blanket. "Wanda, I certainly look like I just got fucked."

"Well, that wasn't untrue," Wanda quipped, a smirk growing on her face.

"Wands," you warned.

A knock brought you both back to the present.

"Y/n, it's going to be okay, it's not like I'm just gonna hide you in my closet, right?" she attempted to joke, causing the opposite effect on you.

You suddenly flinched, remembering what Christine did to you whenever her parents were around. Wanda must had noticed your uneasiness as she stepped closer towards you and rubbed your shoulders. "Hey, it's okay... it's just my mom..."

You nodded back, convinced. Then her eyes drifted towards your neck, making her quickly grab the scarf on her desk and wrap around your neck.

"What-"

"I'm sorry for leaving you hickeys," she apologized.

"Wanda-"

You heard another knock.

"-My mom doesn't like waiting," was the last thing Wanda said to you before she opened the door with a forced smile.

"Hi, Mom! This is a surprise!"

Chapter Text

"I'll let you get settled," Wanda said in a soft voice, before placing a kiss on your forehead. The touch of her mouth felt hot against your skin. "Make yourself at home, okay?"

You gave her a nervous smile before she left the room. It was not Wanda's dorm room anymore. But a guestroom in her mother's house. How did you end up there?

You retraced every bit of memory you had as you sat down on the edge of the bed, hands massaging the creases of the neatly tidied sheets.

"Hi, Mom! This is a surprise!"

Wanda greeted her mother, opening the door of her dorm room wider. Her mother entered the room with an aura of sophistication, sunglasses in her hand. She had a slightly less auburn curls, lighter than Wanda's. She gave a curt nod towards her daughter, eyes scanning around the room until they landed unto you.

"Umm," Wanda panicked, as she gestured for you to come forward. "Mom, this is Y/n, my girlfriend."

"Hello, Ma'am, nice to meet you," you greeted sheepishly, not sure whether you'd shake her hand knowing where yours had been. But her mother only surprised you as she enveloped you in a tight hug. Through the woman's shoulder, you looked at Wanda for help. The younger redhead was just as lost as you were.

When her mother finally pulled away, her lips turned into a warm smile, which at first you found intimidating. "You can call me Natalya, dear... It's wonderful to finally know the reason why my daughter has stopped asking allowances for cigarettes... It's also quite comforting to know my daughter has a heart-"

"Mom-" Wanda tried to stop her, albeit unsuccessful.

"-I was starting to think she'd never ever have a girlfriend as she promised to me years ago...," her mom went on explaining, ignoring Wanda's ramblings. "Can you believe it? She has never ever introduced me to any girlfriend." Her eyes then landed on your scarf. "Are you cold, my dear?"

"I... yeah, a bit," you answered, chuckling nervously as you tightened the scarf around your neck, hiding the marks Wanda left on you.

"Mom, what are you doing here? I said I'd be riding the bus home tonight," Wanda interrupted, making her mom finally glance at her.

"Change of plans, love," she answered. "Your uncle asked me to give him a ride to the city. And now, since I'm here, it just seemed right to give my daughter a ride home as well..."

"Well, you could've sent me a text-"

"-I did," the woman interjected. "Haven't you checked your phone?"

Wanda went to check her phone on the desk, and looked at the messages she failed to notice since last night. How could you blame her? She was busy eating you.

"Pietro's in the car?" The redhead asked.

Natalya nodded. "When I told him I'd be going here, he said he wanted to come and witness something. Never thought it'd be this kind of revelation. I thought my daughter's harboring drugs or something...."

"Mom!"

"Come on, I'm your mother... I can't help but worry... Fortunately, boys aren't allowed in the building. So, your brother's waiting downstairs." Then Natalya turned to you, eyes wondering why you had moved away from her. In fact, you had been trying to cover your thighs and legs by leaning yourself behind the chair, realizing Wanda had left more hickeys and marks all over your skin down there. "What about you, dear? Do you have any plans during the holidays?"

You didn't expect her mom to start a conversation with you. "I... Well, my dad lives around the area-"

"Dad? Are your parents divorced as well?"

"Mom! You can't just ask people that," Wanda butted in exasperatedly.

"What?" Natalya shrugged her shoulders. "It's just a question out of curiosity..."

"Y/n, you don't have to answer that-" the younger redhead added.

"Oh, no, it's okay...," you managed to answer, shaking your head no. "My mom died from an accident when I was just a kid."

"Tragic... I'm so sorry to hear that, my child." Then she went to unexpectedly hug you again, turning your face all red. Wanda then pulled her mother apart from you, ushering her back towards the door.

"Well, if you want, you can join and celebrate Christmas with us...," Natalya offered. "You're welcome to any time."

Before you could answer, she had already began to change the topic and talk about the choice of curtain in Wanda's room. After what must had been minutes of watching your girlfriend trying to ask her mother not to embarrass her own daughter in front of you, she finally left the room to give Wanda time to pack, deciding to grab some breakfast while waiting downstairs.

The moment the door was closed, the redhead then looked at you with an apologetic smile. She moved towards you, carefully unwrapping the scarf around your neck, your marks all bruising and visible. Then she snaked her arms around you as she buried her face into your hair, bodies pressing against each other. It brought all kinds of warm good flutters inside you as your arms instinctively reciprocate the action.

"I'm sorry about my mom," she murmured. "You don't have to go with us."

You softly chuckled, nose brushing the side of her neck. "Do you want me to?"

"What?" She slowly pulled away to stare at you.

You swallowed a nervous lump, licking your dry lips. "If you... If you w-want me to, I-I'd... you know what, forget it-"

"Babe, stop, what is it?" Wanda countered, a giggle in her voice. "You'd go with us?"

"I... I don't want you to think I'm clingy and all," you explained, eyes avoiding her gaze.

Wanda smiled at you as she cradled your face, lifting it to look at her. There wasn't even a hint of disgust or fear in her eyes, the latter always evident in Christine's back when you two were dating. "I'd never want anything in this world rather than to be with you during Christmas... Be clingy with me... Be possessive. I want you to."

Your heart melted at her statement. "Don't you think it's too soon?"

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she brushed a strand of your hair over your ear. "Soon to what?"

"Be with your family?"

She let out a happy sigh. "Y/n," she began, "You don't have to worry about them. Besides, you've already met my family... although, I have to warn you, mom's a bit unaware of personal space..."

That was mainly the reason why you were there in the house of your girlfriend's mother - to spend Christmas with her / her family. You had asked your father's permission about it and he said it was okay as long as you'd be back before New Year and he would be able to meet your new girlfriend soon afterwards.

Wanda's mother was unbelievably nice towards you, expecting her to be like one of those mean mothers who'd bullied their kids while growing up. Natalya had always brought the redness in your cheeks, especially when you received a sly smile from her as she offered a separate guestroom for you to stay the moment she saw Wanda leading you towards her own bedroom. Pietro was teasing all the time, saying that separating rooms wouldn't stop you and Wanda from jumping at each other like horny bunnies, earning a playful slap in the head from their mother.

You had learned a lot from Wanda's family during the stay. Natalya was surprisingly rich, like that father from the movie Home Alone kind of rich. Their mansion was huge, you'd still get lost which door led to the bathroom or a cupboard or another room.

The house was never empty. Her mother's side family was huge, extending to uncles and aunts with children of their own. You found out that that was the reason why Wanda stayed with their Dad's only sister when their Dad got admitted to a mental institution, knowing her father didn't have anyone to be with.

Her mother had told you about how Wanda still hated her for leaving her dad, but she had to do what she had to do. She just wished it didn't change her daughter's view on love. Apparently, Wanda hadn't invited any girl aside from you ever since, even opposed to the idea of having to dine with the family. It made your heart flutter upon the revelation because you were the only exception.

"Don't tell Wanda about this but she couldn't stop talking about you whenever she's home... I was starting to think she was just creating you for me to stop asking her to start dating," Natalya went on when she grabbed you to run a quick errand with her to buy cranberry sauce and last-minute gifts at the mall. Wanda was against how her mom was attempting to get close to you. But she was busy baking cupcakes for Christmas Eve and you said you didn't mind accompanying the older woman.

Pietro was more like a carefree child. He never failed to always make you laugh during dinners, appearing to be the clown in the house. Natalya admitted he always loved him except at times when he was drunk, making you remember how he recently broke his leg due to an accident.

When you and Wanda bumped into Pietro as she pulled you upstairs for some Christmas-themed movie marathon, he exclaimed, "You're not gonna watch the parade at the town center?"

You stopped in your tracks. "What? What parade?"

"Nothing," Wanda hurriedly said as she pulled you but Pietro stood in the way, stopping you both. It was still hours before Christmas and everyone at the household was busy.

"Oh come on, sis," he teased, shaking his head as he laughed. "Don't hide it from Y/n."

You smiled shyly, curiosity growing out of you. "Hide from me what? What is it?"

Pietro then stepped towards you as he explained. "It's this annual Christmas parade at the center of the town with Santa, his reindeers and dwarfs parading and stuff. Wanda is always a sap when it comes to those things-"

"I am not!" Wanda denied, making you smile from ear to ear at realizing how cute she was.

"Yes, you are...," Pietro argued. "You never miss it whenever you're around..."

"Shut up." Wanda pulled you once again as you both proceeded into her bedroom.

Once out of her brother's earshot and the door was closed, you suggested. "We can go to the parade tonight if you want to."

The redhead then looked at you with a softened embarrassed look. "You're not weirded out how someone as old as me would be ecstatic watching a parade intended for kids."

"Wands, there's nothing childish about Christmas," you assured her, cupping her face with your hand, thumb brushing her blushing cheek. "Plus, I hate ruining traditions just because I am here."

She let out a groan as her hands ended on your hips and pinned you against the wall, your bodies pressed together nicely. "Fuck, why do you have to be so perfect?"

You softly chuckled, your other hand cupping her other cheek, cradling her face. "I am not perfect... I'm far from perfect."

She leaned forward and pulled your mouth in a soft kiss turning passionate each second, pressing you harder against the wall. When your arms slithered around her head, it had turned into a makeout session, tongues fighting for dominance, each lungs gasping for breath.

"Wanda..," you attempted to utter, panting heavily, when she finally pulled away and started to trail kisses towards your neck, her hand ending up under your sweater, kneading your breast. "As much as I love doing this, we wouldn't want to miss the parade..."

Then she hesitanty stopped and whined. "You're right... Fuck, I want you so bad right now." Her voice gave you shivers all the way through your core.

"Me too," you confessed, making the pupils in Wanda's eyes dilate.

"You have no idea how hard it was to control myself whenever I saw you sway your cute smoking ass every time you pass by me in the living room." Your cheeks turned red. A soft whimper managed to come out from you when her hands went to squeeze your ass, her front grinding against you.

You couldn't blame the redhead. She wasn't alone. It had been two days since that morning you both left the university and you two couldn't even get an alone time together in the house. Busy with the chores Wanda's mother assigned for each person in the household for the preparation of the big Christmas family dinner, and being intentionally spent apart by her mother who kept on smothering you, you and Wanda were hungry for each other's touch.

The midnight rendezvous wasn't even possible when at nighttime, one or two of Wanda's little cousins would sleep with you on your bed after you told them an interesting bedtime story, sending an apologetic smile at Wanda's way when you saw her with wide eyes by the door as she sneakily attempted to sleep in your room.

"But the parade won't start in an hour," Wanda continued, breaking you out from your thoughts. "I bet I can make you cum before then..."

"What?"

The redhead's hand was slipping inside your pants before you figured out what she meant, making you buck into her. "Fuck, you're even so wet right now."

Your fingers clasped around her neck, nails digging as Wanda ghosted her lips against yours. "You need to be quiet for me, baby."

Your mouth opened in a silent scream, eyes shutting tight, when she easily slipped two fingers into you.

And then there was a knock on the door, bringing you both back to present, frozen on the spot.

"Sis, come on!" Pietro's voice slurred from the other side of the door. "The parade's gonna start in an hour and we need good spots to watch... I don't want to end up climbing the lamp posts again this year."

"Yeah, we'll be out in a minute!" Wanda shouted back, pressing her forehead against you.

When you heard retreating footsteps, you finally released a breath you didn't realize you were holding. Unexpectedly, you let out a whimper when your girlfriend slipped her fingers out of you. "Wands-"

"We don't have time, Y/n. Later, perhaps," she teased, a smirk on her face. You were about to protest but then she wrapped her mouth around her glistening fingers as she licked them clean. Your jaw dropped from the sight, brain lost with words.

Wanda's predatory stance was gone when you went with her and Pietro to watch the parade. You had never seen her so soft and innocently pure like that before as she jumped giddily when the deers started to strut on the streets. Her green eyes so happy, nose scrunching up adorably, and you didn't even realize it. You were falling in love. You were in love. You love Wanda. And you wanted to tell her that. Even when the parade was playing all types of Christmas songs there was, your head was filled with She's Got You High by Mumm-ra as your eyes focused at Wanda and Wanda alone. It's a wonderful catastrophe.

When the three of you finally arrived back home, there was already a huge feast prepared by Natalya and others. It was a fun loud night as compared to what you had grown accustomed what Christmas Eve was supposed to be like. Wanda's family composed of dancers, her mom immediately pulling you to the center of the room as you two danced to Come On Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners. You couldn't stop your lips from grinning so wide, your face hurt. They even did a dance number on Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas Is You.

When Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt began playing in the speakers, Wanda pulled you away from Pietro and you snaked your arms happily around her neck as you swayed into the song, cheek by cheek.

"Thank you for being here," Wanda muttered into your ear. "You make their dances bearable to watch."

Laughing at her words, you pulled her face to look at you. "Thank you for making me the happiest girl in the world, Wands. You have an incredible way of making my heart happy... To be honest, this is one of the happiest Christmas in my life."

You and Wanda must had stared at each other for a while, and you wanted to tell her right there how much you have fallen in love with the redhead. Her mouth even attempted to open the same time as you. If we don't tell people how we feel, how will they ever know?

However, Pietro came barging as he pulled you to a dance when the song changed to Bobby Helms' Jingle Bell Rock, the moment broken.

You didn't even find the chance to talk to Wanda after the dance when you were being requested by the kids for another bedtime story. During nighttime, when the kids were sleeping on your bed once again, you were startled by Wanda's presence by the door. She quickly shushed you out and gestured for you to exit the room.

"Merry Christmas," she said as she pushed something into your hands the moment you quietly entered her bedroom. When you opened the box, you found a silver necklace with a round red diamond pendant inside it.

"Wanda," you gasped, throat going dry. "Oh my god, this is... this is too much... I... I can't-"

"Please... Only the best for you, of course." Then she pulled the necklace from the box as she helped you wear it around your neck.

"This is so beautiful...," you muttered, your fingers touching the pendant as you admired it. Then you turned to look at her. "Thank you..."

Wanda grinned from ear to ear. "It's nothing-"

"Wait.." You stopped her. "Wait right here, I'm gonna give you my present too."

You silently tiptoed to the guest room to retrieve the gift from your backpack, avoiding waking up the kids. When you came back to Wanda's bedroom, you immediately handed the wrapped box to the redhead. She only went speechless as she carefully opened the box, the grin on her face disappearing.

"I'm sorry," you apologized, suddenly feeling insecure. "It's not much compared to yours. But you had been staring at it whenever we pass by the store-"

"-Y/n, this is...." Then she surprised you by wrapping her arms around you in a tight hug, hearing her murmur a thank you in your hair.

"I figure you'd want to take street photography to a whole new level now," you attempted to joke because you heard the redhead sniffling. "Not that I have been stalking at your Instagram profile that much."

Wanda shook her head, chuckling, before she pulled you in a desperate kiss. She then led you towards her bed and pulled you on top of her. You straddled her stomach as you continued to make out. Feeling her fingers slipping into the waistband of your shorts, you pulled away from the kiss to look at her, green eyes asking consent to proceed.

"But your brother's next door," you whispered, helping her take your shorts and underwear off you.

"It'll be okay," she murmured, pressing her mouth into your ear. "You're just going to be quiet for me." Her fingers started to lazily encircle your drenched clit and folds, making you tremble above her.

"Wands," you softly whimpered when she eventually lowered you on her digits. Her lips nibbled your lobe after leaving another mark behind your ear, whispering as she let out a small laugh, "Baby, you have to be quiet or they'd hear."

Her hand on your hips urged you to start moving as you rode her fingers, leaning her back fully on the bed to give you a comfortable position hovering above her. You braced unto each side of her head, biting your lower lip to suppress a moan from coming out.

You were so drenched to the point that you could hear the sloshing sound of Wanda's fingers as they were being sucked by your cunt. Hands grasping tightly unto the sheets, you fought off the whimper from the delicious feeling of bliss happening inside you.

"You are so fucking wet, baby, you're dripping on me," Wanda huskily cooed. You met her darkened eyes staring right at you. "Fuck, you look so sexy riding my fingers like that."

You let out another strangled moan as you clutched unto her shoulders, fastening your pace. "Oh, baby, do you feel so turned on when I talk to you like this?"

"Fuck, Wands..."

When Wanda started thrusting her fingers roughly into you, you stopped moving, your mouth agape and eyes rolling to the back. You were so close, your toes were starting to curl on their own, walls beginning to clench around her fingers.

"Mmm, baby, you feel so good, I cannot wait to fuck you with my cock," Wanda groaned below you as she fastened her pace. And then it hit you, throwing your face unto the pillow next to her head as you let out a muffled moan, your body shuddering in waves when you came. Her other hand was rubbing your trembling back as she coaxed you from your high.

"I love you," you breathily let out.

Your eyes immediately widened upon the realization that you had said it out loud, noticing how Wanda tense under you.

Chapter Text

"Are you okay, Y/n?" your dad asked one time during dinner, noticing you with a glassy look in your eyes. You were deep in your thoughts when he started talking about what they did on Christmas Eve, how Johnny and Sue went on first time sledding at their grandmother's countryhouse, making you remember about the wonderful time you spent with Wanda and her family.

"Oh, yeah...," you replied, immediately taking a gulp of water from your glass to distract your father. "I'm just tired from the trip and all." You forced a weak smile his way. You actually were exhausted, it wasn't a lie. The trip back home took you and Wanda two hours. Your girlfriend insisted on giving you a ride amidst your protests. You just didn't want to tire her out because she'd be driving back to her mother's house to spend the rest of the holidays.

"So...," your dad went on, pouring some milk into Sue's glass. "You really enjoyed your Christmas vacation then? What was it like?"

A smile crossed your face as you recounted what Wanda's family did on Christmas Eve. At least it moved the lingering thoughts that bothered you so much. You began sharing how their celebration was completely different from yours. How you didn't think that people could also find love and happiness at loud gatherings, not only from silent calm and peaceful celebrations. Your father also didn't fail to notice the necklace around your neck, your cheeks tinted with pink as he teased you about how you had been glowing since you came back.

"Sounds like she's a charm," he added. "When can I finally meet this Wanda lady, huh?"

Johnny and Sue then chimed in, telling your father about the kiss you and Wanda shared outside the house during one of your babysitting errand. Your father only grew confused as he listened to details Johnny explained, how Wanda did the Love Actually card thing, which eventually faltered when the boy noticed you giving him a glare to stop.

"Sounds serious," your dad concluded, unfazed. "Do you love this girl?"

"Dad!" you argued exasperatedly, redness overflowing your face.

"What? I just want to give some love advice to my daughter...," he defended. "Maybe I can help..."

Jane then stepped in the dining room, bringing with her a platter of the cooked ham. "I think that's my job, dear," she interjected, a smile on her face.

You giggled back, shaking your head. "That's not anyone's job but mine, okay?"

"Okay, fine," your dad settled, slicing through the meat for the youngsters. "Does she love you at least?"

You nodded back almost immediately, earning celebratory cheers from your father and stepsiblings. The roar of laughters suddenly transported you back to the night you accidentally confessed your feelings towards Wanda.

"I love you," you panted through the pillows, eyes widening when you realized you weren't just saying it inside your head. That's what it does when you have been thinking about it for a while.

Noticing Wanda tense under you, you suddenly found yourself unable to breathe as you lifted yourself to look at her, stopping for a soft moan when she pulled out her fingers from your swollen cunt.

"I..." Your throat was dry even when you were quiet as a mouse.

Wanda was looking at you with mixed emotions that somehow, you found yourself wishing you could turn back time and undo what you did. "You do?"

"I..." There was no point hiding it. You love Wanda. "Yeah... It's true... I do love you..."

The redhead dropped her gaze as thoughts seemed to run inside her head, finding the right words to say.

"So it wasn't just a spur of the moment kind of thing, like more of a thank you after you had an orgasm..."

A thank you?

You let out a sigh as you slowly shook your head. "No. I... I'm in love with you, Wanda. And you don't have to say it back... I just... I just feel like you should know how amazing you made me feel right now and I... I just had to let you know... I love you..."

Tears streamed down her eyes, your heart breaking at the sight. You instinctively went to cradle her face between your hands, thumbs brushing the offending liquid off. "Wands, stop crying please-"

"No...," Wanda muttered, voice croaky. "Because I love you too..."

You froze, eyes suddenly getting warm with tears threatening to burst. "Please don't say that because you're scared to hurt me-"

"-I do, Y/n," she went on. "I really really love you. So much." Her hands went to cup your face. "I have never felt like this, Y/n. I... god, you have no idea how I have loved you for so long..."

You pressed your foreheads together, laughing as you both cried with happy tears. "We're all saps, huh?"

"Yes, we are...," Wanda muttered, mouth ghosting against yours. "Please... please don't ever leave me, Y/n... I don't know what I'd do without you."

Then you met her lips in a soft kiss, a promise. "I promise I won't ever leave and hurt you, Wands..."

"Are you really okay?"

You were suddenly brought back to the present by Jane's voice behind you, startling you as you turned and looked her way. She was carrying two mugs of hot chocolate in her hands, offering one to you. You were just looking at the dark empty streets outside the balcony of your father's house, the silence making your thoughts scream louder. You knew the streets wouldn't stay empty two days after tomorrow, knowing it would be New Year's Eve. With nothing but music keeping you company through your earphones, it looked like you weren't okay. You were lonely even when an hour from now, Wanda would be calling you as per your nightly call schedule with your girlfriend. Are you really okay?

"Yeah, I'm fine," you managed to answer, accepting the mug Jane offered to you. Then she quickly grabbed your phone and checked it.

"Hey, what was that for?" you called out to her.

Jane laughed as she showed the screen of your phone to you, I Am Bones by Joe Brooks playing on Spotify. "Is this a happy song or a sad song then?"

You gave her a playful rolling of your eyes as she finally handed you your phone back. You must be exuding sadness because she had detected it.

Letting silence fill the air as you both sipped from your mugs, you watched a family of three walking across the street, laughing as they headed towards home. The happiness was evident on their faces, making you wonder why you couldn't be one like them. You finally had the girl of your dreams, yet it was filling you with utter sadness.

"I realized I haven't got the chance to thank you for welcoming me into your family," Jane broke the silence.

You glanced at her. "It's nothing... You're really nice."

It brought a smile on her face. "I thought... well, you're gonna think different of me now. But I thought... I thought I'd never have the chance to be in a loving family such as yours, who accepted me for me."

You gave her a warm smile as you quipped. "Well, your steaks are top tier."

She laughed, you following suit. Jane's presence made you feel safe.

I am your mother! your mother's voice reverberated through your head, making you shake yourself.

You were about to say something else about your father and how he loved Jane as much but she decided to change the topic. "She makes you happy, you know..."

"Mm?"

"Wanda."

Your brows only furrowed.

"You don't smile like that when you were with Christine," Jane explained, then taking another sip of the chocolate.

"Oh." You weakly smiled, avoiding her gaze. "I've been told by my friends too."

"But something's bothering you," she butted in, letting out a nervous sigh. "I know you didn't want to tell your dad about it during dinner... But you know, I am always here to listen to you whenever you needed someone like a... like a-"

"-a mother," you finished for her, a look of understanding in her eyes as you met hers.

"Yes," she confirmed, nodding. "As your stepmother, you can tell me anything you feel not sharing with your dad... What is it?"

There was a small pause before you answered. "Nothing's bothering me-"

"-So you're listening to sad songs in the middle of the night because you just felt like it?" Jane queried, a tone of curiosity in her voice. You knew she was only trying to care for you.

"I do."

But the look in her eyes told you she didn't believe a word you said.

"Okay," you caved in. "I just miss Wanda and it has only been a couple of days." It was technically true. But is it what's bothering you?

"Hey, I know how you feel..," she assured you. "When I was away for a long business trip without your dad, it felt like hell."

"How did you cope with it?"

"Well, I facetime him every time I want to."

You wished you could just do that. But right now, it felt like you were walking on eggshells around your girlfriend. And it was all your fault.

"What if...," you started. "What if Wanda would find me too clingy and she'd get sick of me?"

Jane pursed her lips as she gave you a comforting squeeze on the shoulder. "Honey, if she loved you, that's going to be the least of your worries."

And tears suddenly started to erupt from your eyes, making the woman before you lost on what to do. She hurriedly took the mug off your hands and placed them on the table nearby, then wrapping her arms around you to give you a hug.

"Oh honey, what's wrong?" Jane cooed softly as she rubbed your back wracking in sobs.

"I probably ruined it," you murmured through her chest.

"What? Ruined what?"

The thing was, dropping the L bomb early in the relationship wasn't always the right thing to do. Especially when it was for someone like Wanda.

You didn't even know why you did it. You knew about how it could cost your blooming relationship that would soon wilter. You had watched the series How I Met Your Mother for the nth time already, you should be an expert. How Ted ended up with a far worse fate than you when he said I love you to Robin after their first wonderful date - it was a lesson.

"I love you," you breathily let out near her ear, eyes immediately bulging out of their sockets when you realized you said it out loud.

Wanda tensed under you, making you catch supply of air just to breathe. She pulled her fingers out of your sensitive folds as you straightened to sit on her lap.

"I..." You couldn't even find words to say. What are words, anyway?

You couldn't even handle the look of disbelief and something in the lines of fear from Wanda. "You do?"

"I..." There was no point hiding it. You love Wanda. "Yeah... It's true... I do love you..."

When your girlfriend only avoided your gaze, you know a million things were running inside of her head, and most of them involved how things were moving too fast.

"So it wasn't just a spur of the moment kind of thing, like more of a thank you after you had an orgasm..." Wanda sort of asked, rendering you taken aback for a moment. Surely, she didn't mean that. A thank you?

You let out a heavy sigh as you slowly shook your head. "No. I... I'm in love with you, Wanda. And you don't have to say it back... I just... I just feel like you should know how amazing you made me feel right now and I... I just had to let you know... I love you..."

It hurt when the only answer you got was tears falling down her face, knowing she wasn't ready, she wasn't at the stage yet. And you probably had scared her off. You instinctively went to cradle her face between your hands, thumbs brushing the offending liquid off. "Wands, stop crying please-"

"I'm sorry..."

The words coming out of her mouth was what made your tears burst like a waterfall, her confirmation. That she didn't love you like you did. "Hey, it's okay... Like I said, you don't have to say it back... I just-"

"But I...," she stopped you. "I don't want you to feel different about me..."

"No, of course not...," you assured her, even when your voice was unsure. "Why would I?"

"Because I couldn't say it back, Y/n...," Wanda exclaimed. She was hyperventilating. And you didn't know what to do.

"Hey, hey, it's okay..."

"Fuck." She cursed as she sat on the bed, making you climb off her. 

"Wands, it's okay," you tried to calm her down, your hands squeezing the back of her neck.

"No, it's not...," Wanda argued, sniffling. "I don't want you to think that I don't care about you just because I couldn't say it back-"

"But you do, you care about me," you defended her even when your heart was breaking. "Saying those three words are overrated, Wanda. You know actions speak much more louder than words-"

"You won't leave me because of it?" She asked, leaning closer, the fear in her eyes more obvious. "I just got you, Y/n. Please don't ever leave me. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Then you captured her lips in a soft kiss, a promise. "I promise I won't ever leave and hurt you, Wands."

Even when she couldn't say it back. You knew words wouldn't matter. I love yous were nothing compared to actions, especially when actions spoke different.

But somehow, it still hurt. Because you expected Wanda to say it back. After her drunken confession, she would be able to say it back. After all the cheesy romantic stuff she did, those three words seemed too easy in comparison. And maybe that was why it hurt.

You were an anxious person who needed regular confirmations, verbal affirmations.

Why couldn't Wanda say it back?

The pain was playing with you, creating different scenarios in your head just so you would convince yourself that it was alright. That everything was okay and you shouldn't worry about it.

But reality did hurt when it was different from your expectations. So you cried in Jane's arms as she held you through the chilly night, no longer asking why, for she already understood.

Chapter Text

"God, I love this song," Christine uttered, as she closed her eyes and sang the lyrics of The Loneliest by Maneskin, showing off a little dance by the counter, earning a small chuckle from you. You and Christine were currently doing inventory after the store closed early, being the last day of the year. The streets outside were still jam-packed even when it was slightly snowing. Loki almost broke his back earlier shoveling snow at the store's entrance.

You're still the oxygen I breathe
I see your face when I close my eyes
It's torturous
Tonight is gonna be the loneliest

You nodded approvingly, ticking the check box on the list you had of goods needed for replenishment. "It's a good tune."

She glared at you in disbelief, scoffing playfully. "A good tune? It's the greatest, Y/n... I can't believe you just said that."

You only laughed back at her, throwing the stuffed toy Stephen gave to the redhead last Christmas, which she decided to leave as a decoration on the cash register.

A familiar beeping tone made its way to your ear, signaling a message. You dropped the folder from your hands on the table before you and checked the message. 

Pietro bought a dozen boxes of fruits for mom. I know he made her mad but the fruits made me think of you. :(

It was from your girlfriend Wanda, bringing a smile on your face.

The only thing I know now is that I want to spend it
With you, with you, nobody else here
Tonight is gonna be the loneliest

You began to type a response when Christine suddenly made a comment your way. "Remember that time we made each other cum during a phone call last year?

The unexpected, unnecessary and completely not a topic you should be talking with your ex-girlfriend, made you almost drop the phone from your grasp.

But she only continued, unaware of the way the conversation had made you uncomfortable. "Do you and Wanda do that too?"

You only rolled your eyes at her, having no stuffed toy left to throw at the redhead.

Christine only laughed, shaking her head. "What? It's an alright question..."

And it wasn't just an inappropriate question, but it made you uneasy because you weren't like that with Wanda. Maybe, she didn't feel like doing it through the phone. After the accidental confession of your love last Christmas, you and Wanda hadn't done any thing other than your heated makeout together in her car before she dropped you off after giving you a ride home.

You terribly missed the redhead, but you didn't want to appear as clingy as you actually were. Not after seeing the look on Wanda's face telling you she was overwhelmed with how fast the relationship was going. You knew she was dying to tell you to slow down for one frickin' minute and enjoy the honeymoon phase.

In the end, in the end it doesn't matter
If tonight is gonna be the loneliest

It didn't help with your nightmares at all, not with your mother always reminding you of what you did in your dreams, especially when Jane had inserted herself a space in your heart. And the bags under your eyes weren't getting any better at hiding under the concealer you had put on.

"I mean," Christine brought you back to the present. "You had no problem giving me orgasms through the speakers of my phone."

A smirk appeared on her face, followed by a wink she sent your way. But before you could react, she stepped towards the door heading towards Loki's office to retrieve more stocks for the inventory. Is Christine flirting with you?

That would be weird considering she was still with Stephen. And she knew how in love you were with Wanda. But you were always oblivious to the enigma that was women flirting.

It was always a mystery to you how others could detect it before you, such as when Christine quipped a side comment directed at a customer who was apparently writing her contact details on the store's brochure to give to you, the redhead saying that there wasn't any need to do that. Or that one time Peter suspected that the bartender was hitting on you when you and your friends went out at a nearby local bar before the end of the year, where you gladly announced to them how you got yourself a free drink.

But Christine had always been like that since the day you met her, so you regarded it as something normal. Bantering back and forth on the teases she gave out to you, and you throwing the empty boxes her way to stop her, having nothing else to throw. Besides, it kept you preoccupied rather than worry why Wanda hadn't responded to your last text message yet. Careful there, flirt. Don't make me miss you too much. :) Xx

Nor to the follow up message of you asking if she was okay. You didn't want to bother her that much so you decided to give her time.

After the shift was over and Christine was pulled away by Stephen, you began heading back to your dorm, amidst the redhead's persistent request to join their dinner. You only declined because you didn't want to be a third wheel. But maybe it was because of the look Stephen was sending your way, mentally telling you to back off. You couldn't be bothered really, your mind was still wracking up with something that could explain what Wanda could be busy doing that she hadn't replied to your messages yet.

You were going to head later to your father's house for New Year's Eve, but you didn't feel like going anymore because you weren't feeling up for it. Besides, you bet your father wouldn't even notice you weren't there because him and Jane were hosting a New Year's Eve party with their friends and business partner.

The loneliness started to creep in when you saw the darkness from the stairway heading towards your dorm. It was supposed to be a happy new year, but you doubted you deserved anything good in life.

When you arrived at the floor of your dorm room, you almost dropped your keys as you jumped in surprise seeing Wanda in a white snapback cap waiting by the door.

"Wanda?" you gasped, heart thundering so loud inside your chest.

"Hey," she sheepishly greeted with a small wave as she straightened her posture.

You walked slowly towards her, trying to figure out if you were so tired and miserable, you began imagining she was there. "What are you doing here?"

The redhead looked so troubled and worried that you mirrored her actions back.

She let out a nervous sigh before she replied, "Can we talk inside?"

Oh, no. This is it. She's breaking up with you. And she's just too sweet not to do it over the phone.

Shrugging the thought out of your head, you began making your way towards her, awkwardly placing a kiss on her cheek, which you noticed immediately turned pink. You wondered if it would be the last time you'd be able to do that.

She didn't even gave you a hug so you slotted your key into the doorknob then entered your room, her following behind you. Of course, she didn't miss you that much. You just saw each other a few days ago.

Wanda made her way to your bed and sat on the edge, patting the spot beside her for you to do the same. After dropping your backpack on the floor, you made your way towards the bed, mentally preparing yourself for the breakup speech the redhead would say to you.

All your silly thoughts vanished the moment she held your hand in hers, fingers threading through each other.

"I... I want to tell you about something I haven't told anyone before," Wanda started, meeting your gaze for a short second then dropping to your linked hands. "My dad... Well, my dad and mom had always said I love yous to each other when Pietro and I were just kids... Every action they made, before dad would head to work or even just a lazy Sunday cooking breakfast in the kitchen, they would mutter the words to each other..."

She tightened her hold against you, slightly trembling. Your thumb brushed the skin of her hand within reach to calm her down.

"It was always their signature greeting that me and my brother would sometimes pretend to gag upon hearing," she chuckled lowly then licked her lips. All you could do was stare at her as she opened herself up to you.

"But it... It made me believe that it was true love... I believed them," Wanda went on. You could tell she was holding back tears. "But then, dad went cuckoo because of his work, and my mom began saying it a little less than more..." She let out a shaky laugh as she shook her head. "I swear there were even times when dad said it to her but she never said it back anymore... And dad just kept on waiting... and waiting for her to say it..."

Your heart swelled at her confession, knowing where she was getting at. Then she met your eyes as she finally looked at you. "I don't want us to end up like them, Y/n... That's why I couldn't say it back. But I... I always wanted you, I'm just scared... I'm just scared that... that you'd-"

A tear trickled down Wanda's face and you caught it with your hand as you cupped her cheek. "So you're not breaking up with me?"

The look on her face turned into confusion as she asked, letting out a small laugh. "What?"

At least your question stopped her from crying. "I thought... I thought you were breaking up with me because we're moving too fast and I already dropped the bomb, and I-"

"Y/n, stop," she said, letting go of your hand as she cradled your face, lifting it to meet her gaze you had averted to look upon. "I'm not breaking up with you... God, what makes you think I'd do that? You're the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with."

A nervous chuckle made its way out of your mouth. "I'm sorry for thinking about it... I couldn't help it... I can be a little too much-

"Hey, remember how I told you to be clingy around me? That still stands, Y/n...," she assured you, leaning her face closer to yours as she pressed your foreheads against each other. "Own me, claim me as yours to be disturbed, Y/n... My feelings for you have not changed. If only, it got more intense. That I cannot let the year pass by without telling that I feel the same towards you, I'm just scared to admit it... I'm sorry for making you worried like that. I'm sorry for making you feel for a second that I didn't want you...

"Y/n, I long to be with you... Forever, if fate would allow it..."

And that was way more amazing than the trite I love you.

Wanda looked at you with her piercing green eyes and you couldn't believe how it took you almost seven days to realize that she had always looked at you the same way you'd seen your dad looked at Jane, the same way the couple in romantic films stared at each other, the way their eyes pierced right through the ones they love before confessing their love, even the way Darcy told Elizabeth how ardently he loves her in the book Pride and Prejudice.

Wanda never said it to you, but now you knew it was always a look of love.

"I love you too, Wanda," you declared, more sure now. It brought tears in the redhead's eyes as she captured your lips in a searing kiss, her hands slipping to the back of your head to deepen it. And you might had done the same to ensure it wasn't just a fake scenario created by your anxious self.

You never made it to your father's New Year Eve party after all.

Besides, what better way than to welcome the new year with a mind-blowing sex until four in the morning.

Chapter Text

"Baby, fuck..." Wanda huskily groaned as she thrusted the strap into you, fucking you from behind. The girth stretched your cunt in the most pleasurable way.

Your face was pressed against the soft pillow underneath you, hair fanning across your face. Another cushion was placed between your waist and the bed to elevate your hips in a comfortable position.

Hoping to get the hair sticking on your lips, you tried to blow puffs of air from your mouth since your hands were unavailable at the moment, being held together by Wanda on your back. It was a failed attempt when you started to open your mouth, letting out a whimper instead when the redhead hit a spot inside you.

The line chart of having sex while being in love just kept on increasing on a gradual scale. Who knew that after all the clarification and formalities of starting a new relationship, hunger was a top priority to be sated.

You had come for the nth time that night, savoring the time before classes would start the following day. It was supposed to be an early night, to prepare for tomorrow. That was what you and your girlfriend had planned for the night.

But when Wanda saw you coming out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around your body, hair still dripping wet because you forgot to bring your hair dryer with you and was about to ask where she kept hers, the redhead's eyes only darkened, her taking you right then and there.

Your walls clenched around the silicone toy as you felt yourself near the edge, past the feeling of oblivion, to be transcended to another realm that was called paradise. Wanda must had sense it too, because the thrusts became difficult. "Fuck, you're so tight, baby... Are you close?"

You could only moan as a response, not trusting to open your mouth again without spilling another dirty loud whimper. The redhead's dorm had thinner walls than yours. You realized that when you met the students staying next to hers one day sporting red cheeks when their gazes met yours.

Wanda finally let go of your hands as she began to hold your ass, drilling into you in a relentless pace, her front flushed against your skin as she bottomed out. Your eyes shut close as your hands instinctively clasped against the sheets, holding on for dear life.

All you could hear were wet skins slapping against each other and Wanda's soft grunts as she went on fucking you. When you could feel the redhead leaning towards you with bodies pressed against each other, her breath on the back of your neck, you couldn't help but let out a sinful moan. Her thrusts had suddenly become erratic, slow yet deep and hard. Nearly towards bliss, your eyes rolled to the very back of your head, mind now trapped in a euphoric state.

"Y/n, baby, I'm so close..." Wanda moaned into your ear, then nibbling the lobe as she rammed into you. Her hands went to grasp yours, fingers threading through as you both held unto the sheets, making you two grounded. "Cum with me please... Cum with me-"

When she bit your shoulder as she came, you snapped and reached your own, chanting her name like a prayer. Bodies trembled and shuddered in unison, gasps blending like a melody into the night. You'd be amazed if you hadn't received any complaint from the building because of the fun nights you had.

Ever since the start of the New Year, sex life with Wanda had been rampant. And you couldn't find it in yourself to complain. No. Not when you had always been on the receiving end.

When the redhead had first revealed to you that she hadn't had anyone else after your first night together, you didn't believe her. But one night, when she finally had the chance to use the fake cock into you, you had never seen Wanda so eager to fuck you that she came the moment she slipped the toy inside your entrance, shuddering and cursing on top of you. Not wanting her to feel embarrassed as you could feel her tense when she finally came down from her high, you flipped her unto her back and took the reins, holding her thighs behind you as you rode her with fervor.

After that, it was just endless sex. Sometimes, sweet and torturous, sensual as you learned each other. Sometimes, it was quick and rough, like there wasn't anyone else in the world but you and Wanda.

You guessed maybe it was because Wanda had been deprived to have you for so long that every time you do something, even just little things, would wake the feral side of the redhead. Such as but not limited to, doing Wanda's makeup as you straddled her lap and her distracting you as she urged your hips to grind against her clothed strap. Or that time when you were just mindlessly teaching Wanda how to use a specific formula on excel file and the close proximity between your faces would make her utter how sexy you were when you spoke smart words to her. Or even when you were just giggling on a silly joke she made about fruits and her hand was already slipping inside your pajamas.

You didn't even want to say no. There wasn't a part of you that would say no. Wanda could have you and you would let her have you.

As much as you enjoyed the time with Wanda under the sheets or any other surface in your room or hers, the late night pillow talks were your most favorite. You two would talk about random things that would come to mind for hours and hours, cuddling each other, until you would both succumb to sleep or you could see sunlight from the horizon, whichever came first.

There were times when she would fall asleep first, and you would spend minutes of just staring at her angelic resting face, memorizing the beautiful freckles and moles she had, wondering if she did the same to you. Sometimes, she was the big spoon, other times, it was you. And you'd bury your nose into her hair and inhale her shampoo.

Saying I love yous even when Wanda wouldn't say it back had been a normal occurrence. She would just scrunch up her nose as she smiled with a blush on her face, sometimes, giving you a kiss on top of your nose or on your forehead, then you'd know that was her telling you the same.

And the love you had for the redhead just kept on growing, that you never wanted to think if everything would still be the same once Wanda would graduate and leave the university, leave you.

"You okay? You're walking funny," Pepper asked when you met her at the door of your first minor subject class, where she was bidding farewell to Tony. Tony and Peter were just talking about a game the former had on his phone when you arrived.

"What?" You really tried to walk your usual walk but there was a part in you that was still sore and hadn't recovered yet.

A smirk played across Pepper's face as she leaned closer towards your ear. "Did Wanda just rail you hard all night?"

Your cheeks immediately turned pink and you stuttered to come up with a reply.

"Relax, Y/n, I'm only kidding," she teased, giggling. "God, you and Wanda are insatiable, huh?"

And as if on perfect timing, Wanda walked in by the hallway, making people turn their heads her way as she approached you, a single pinkish lily in her hand.

"Hey," she greeted. The redhead looked so beautiful that everyone wanted to catch a glimpse of her, and you couldn't help but want to be selfish.

The smile on your face grew wider when she gave you a quick peck on your cheek before greeting Pepper in front of you. Tony and Peter suddenly stopped their discussion and came closer beside Pepper.

"Hey," you greeted back to Wanda, accepting the flower and holding her hand with the other. "What are you doing up early? I thought you don't have a class until 10am."

"I just want to see you before your first class," she answered, her arms then ended up resting on top of your shoulders before she leaned in and whispered to your ear. "Besides, I'm kind of proud seeing how you can still walk perfectly even after all that happened last night..."

And you never really knew how just one word from Wanda could get you riled up so easy, you wanted her again.

As if on purpose, she pulled away when you were about to chase her lips. "I also have to study for an exam later today," she added. "I'll see you later, then? At lunch?"

You only nodded back, throat dry and speechless. Then she placed a kiss on your lips before walking away.

When you looked back at your friends, they quickly averted their gaze as if you didn't catch them staring at the two of you the entire time.

You thought the start of the class would stop the momentum that was yours and Wanda's sex drive, but you couldn't be more wrong.

It was a Thursday night when you were reading theories for tomorrow's class at Wanda's dorm room. The moment the redhead finished her studies for the day, she went to cuddle next to you in the bed, resting her head on your lap as your hand went to caress her hair.

Time slowly passed by and you were in the middle of a sample case scenario, when suddenly, you noticed Wanda's hand toying with the hem of your shorts, earning a small chuckle from you as you only swatted her away. "Wanda, I'm trying to read..."

"Is that a no, then?" she quipped. You took a glance at her and expectant eyes met yours, waiting for an answer. But you only bit back a smile as you went on reading. You could deny her but you'd miss the feeling of her mouth against yours.

Wanda's hand sneakily delved inside your shorts, fingers lazily encircling your clit. The touch ignited something in you that made you lose your bearing and arch your back, letting go of your book.

She pulled away, making you whine. "Wanda..."

"Continue reading or else, I'd stop," she warned, a smirk on her face.

"What? But-"

"-No buts." Then she lowered herself further more as she kneeled on the bed, hands on the hem of your shorts before she slipped it off you. Your underwear with cartoon characters was in full view. "God, I really like your dorky cute undies."

You were about to protest but then she cupped your cunt and your voice turned into a whimper.

"Y/n, what did I say?" Wanda demanded.

You gave her a playful glare before opening your book to the page where you left. But then, you could feel Wanda pull your underwear off you and her breath hitting your moistened self. You squirmed under her touch, begging for more. Only to get frustrated when she stopped, strong hands holding your thighs apart as she stated she hadn't seen you reading.

"Fuck, fine." You tried to concentrate on your book but the ministrations of Wanda's tongue on you was making it impossible to focus. When she slipped her tongue into your folds and thrusted it with want, you threw your book beside the bed and your hands ended on top of her head, pushing her further. You could feel Wanda laughing as she continued to lap at you.

While things with Wanda looked more amazing, your friendship with your ex and current friend/co-worker Christine wasn't faring well. At first, she got mad at you for petty reasons, such as not attending to a customer instantly because you were in a call with Wanda. And then when she got into a fight with Stephen, she took it out on you and made you do the late night inventory without her help.

It was a wonder how one day, she immediately cornered you and apologized for how she was acting. And if Loki had not entered the room, you swore Christine was about to lean forward and kiss you for the way her eyes always drifted to your mouth. It may be only your imagination but you knew that look. She was your ex-girlfriend after all.

What you didn't know was the presence of your current girlfriend in the doorway, who arrived seconds before Loki. So it made you jump when you saw her. The frown on the redhead's face disappeared when you skipped towards her and gave her a hug.

Burying your nose into her hair, you muttered. "Is it too weird to say that I have missed you even when we just saw each other hours ago?"

You heard her chuckle as she tightened her hug around you, as if afraid to let you go. When you pulled away, you noticed the worry wrinkle on her forehead, immediately making you ask while cupping her face. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Wanda smiled at you as she shook her head. "Nothing, baby... Just a long exam and all."

"How was it? I.. wait, I have to clock out from work, why don't we talk about it at the coffee shop?" you suggested. "My treat..."

Wanda's grin was back at your words. Unfortunately, Christine called out to you as she emerged from the back of the store. "Y/n, don't forget we have to submit the quarterly report later tonight-. Oh, Wanda, hi! I didn't see you there."

"Clearly," the other redhead replied, barely a whisper, you thought she hadn't spoken. But you were busy trying to remember if you forgot something.

You were sure you did not have any thing to do later that night, but when Wanda saw your troubled face, she cradled it with both of her hands as she said. "It's okay, Y/n... I'll wait for you at my dorm, okay?"

You seemed to relaxed, grateful that she was understanding. But your heart skipped a beat when she suddenly captured your lips in a searing hungry kiss, tongue swirling inside, making it look like you two were making out in public but it wasn't. Then she pulled away, making you finally breathe. What was that for?

If only your eyes weren't close the entire time, you would have seen how Wanda and Christine glared daggers at each other.

Chapter Text

"Happy birthday," you softly said the moment Wanda's eyes fluttered open. You were leaning on her chest, face so close together, you decided to place morning kisses on her jawline down to her neck.

"Happy birthday to me, indeed," the redhead muttered, chuckling. You then stopped kissing and grabbed the wrapped box from your bedside table and placed it on her stomach.

Wanda's lips turned into a wide smile, her eyes drifting to the item before her. She excitedly sat up straight, making you do the same. "Y/n, you didn't have to..."

"I know," you replied. "But I just want to spoil you on your birthday..."

When she had successfully opened the box, her eyes widened in disbelief. It was a Vintage Kodak Eastman Camera, the rarest thing you could find. "Y/n, this is.... how did you get ahold of this? It's magnificent..."

"Well, I may or may have not asked my boss Loki for help on this...," you explained, biting your lower lip. You weren't sure if you had gone a bit extreme. "He mentioned about knowing someone who has ardent liking on photography-"

Stopping your ramblings, she wrapped her arms around you as she buried her head in your neck, pulling you closer towards her. "Thank you... Thank you... Thank you..."

Wanda's hands slipped back to your face, cupping them as she pressed your mouth on hers, lips slotting perfectly into each other, turning the simple thank you kiss into a rather searing passionate one. When she was about to push your back to lay on the bed, you maintained your position and placed a hand on her chest to stop her. Filled with confidence and boldness, you then straddled her lap as you said. "Wanda, it's your birthday. Let me make you feel good..."

Wanda's hands went to hold your waist, fingers tracing the skin lightly, giving you goosebumps. "Baby, you always make me feel good-"

"I know... But I want to return the favor to you."

Then you hovered above her as you peppered kisses along her neck, trailing down to her exposed chest where you lightly sucked the skin on the valley between her breasts. Her hands gripped tight on your waist from your action, eventually slipping down to squeeze your ass, making you squeak and laugh. You hastily pulled them off you then held them above her head.

"What did I just tell you?" you warned with a smirk.

"Okay, fine. I'll behave," she promised.

Once you had taken her shirt off and her two perfect round breasts in full display before you, waiting to be worshipped, you didn't waste your time as your mouth immediately enveloped around her erect nipple. It wasn't your first time to do that. You had tasted her before. But never below the waist. And now, it was your goal.

When your fingers reached the hem of her boxer shorts, tugging them gently, she stopped you. Usually at times when you attempted to do this, she'd flip you on your back and ravage you, making you think she didn't want you to do that to her or she was too prideful to be vulnerable before you.

But right now, you saw how her eyes went from aroused to scared in a matter of seconds.

"Wands, what's wrong?" you worriedly asked.

Wanda licked her lips, a habit of hers when she was nervous, as she stuttered a reply. "I... no one has... no one has-"

And then you understood. How foolish were the girls she had been with before for taking her for granted or wasting an opportunity such as this to pass. "Oh. It's okay. We don't have to do it if you don't want-"

"No. I want to," she stopped you. "I'm just... I... I'm just not used to it..."

You let out a sigh. "Wanda, there's nothing to worry about... I have been dying to taste you like this. Dreaming. Sometimes, I find myself imagining. And I don't think I can take it anymore... So if you'll let me have you, I'd gladly do it every day."

The cheeks on Wanda's face turned as red as her hair as she eagerly nodded.

When you finally tugged the garment off, you were met with Wanda's arousal, making your eyes darken with want as you inhaled her like she was your oxygen. Spreading her thighs apart before you, you had come close to that part of hers you had only looked at and worshipped from a distance.

You took your time, as you torturously placed kisses on her inner thigh, even marking some skin to turn it red from your touch, any part of hers apart from where she needed you the most.

"Y/n..." Wanda's angelic moans were music to your ears, and if you could only create a playlist of it, it would be played on repeat.

You smirked as you finally neared your destination and she had began to buck her hips towards your face when you accidentally bumped your nose against her clit. "Fuck, I'm sorry-"

Stopping her apology, you took mercy and licked a broad stripe from her dripping entrance to her swollen bud. Your eyes rolled to the back, moaning from her sweet tangy taste, very Wanda. And you had to take another go, ending with your mouth instinctively wrapping around her clit as you gave it a swirl with your eager tongue. Wanda was so wet and generous on giving you nectar to drink.

You opened her thighs wider when you felt her closing to the feeling of you drinking her. Her hands ended on top your head as she held you, nails scratching your scalp. "Y/n, baby, that feels so good..."

And she tasted so fucking good too, you couldn't get enough. It was as if you had been deprived all this time from having her like this. And you wouldn't let it happen again. You'd always devour her like this.

Your adept digits teased her drenched folds as you went on with your assault on her clit. You felt her tensing above you, hands tightening the grip on your hair, when you finally slipped them inside her.

Once you had started a good rhythm, the redhead had tried to bite back the whimpers threatening to come out. Wanting to hear it, you fastened the pace until you could hear Wanda's strangled moans above you. "Oh fuck, fuck, Y/n please..."

You curved your fingers inside her velvety walls that was hugging them tightly as you sucked the swollen bud so rough, Wanda pulled the hair against your scalp. And then she froze.

It was followed by waves and waves of shudders as she squirmed under your relentless attack. You didn't stop after she came and slipped your hands on her ass, cupping them as you hold her when you moved your tongue into her drenched folds. Her thighs instinctively closed around your head, and you let her, muffling the sounds around you as you continued to lap the juices she kept on giving you. Since she was still sensitive from her first orgasm, it didn't take long before another one hit her.

When Wanda finally came down from her high, she gently tugged your hair before you stopped, peppering kisses on her skin on the way to her mouth, where you shared a lingering kiss. "Fuck... Your mouth is amazing."

You chuckled, cheeks blushing and still glistening from her. "Well, not as amazing as yours. Did you enjoy it?"

"Enjoy it?" she exclaimed, her hand wiping your chin. "God, Y/n, it's the most wonderful gift I have ever received. I'm starting to like my birthday now."

You giggled. Then she suddenly flipped you on your back, the soft sated eyes darkened before you as she looked at you. "Now you made me hungry."

"Oh, I actually have a birthday brunch planned at your favorite coffee shop downstairs, if you want-"

"God, you are such a perfect girlfriend," she interrupted, leaning forward so she could suck the skin just below your ear, making you squirm under her. "But so, so innocent..."

"Innocent?" Your voice was hitched up a tone.

Wanda began crawling down until you felt her tugging your shorts off. "I meant I was hungry for something else, Y/n."

It was a blissful day, with everything planned out for her birthday. Since it was a weekend, you and Wanda visited the show where Stefano De Luigi's works will be curated, a trip she had been wanting to go to since the start of the year. He was one of the famous photographers Wanda had looked up to.

After visiting her dad, you and Wanda made your way to the neighboring city where said event will take place. You had never seen her so giddy the same way you had seen her when you watched the Christmas Parade in her town. She had never once let your hand go, fingers linked perfectly like puzzles.

Also, the distance of the visit was part of the plan for the surprise birthday party you and Wanda's friends prepared for later that night. You two were finally heading home by taxi when she started to notice.

"Wait, where are we going? This is not the way to the university," Wanda wondered then she quizzically looked at you. "Y/n?"

You tried to avoid her gaze. "What? Oh, Maria said to go drop by some of her stuff at her house."

And although, she could tell it was a poor excuse, the redhead left you be. You were grateful, you didn't want to spoil her the surprise.

When you and Wanda arrived at Maria's house, the door opened on its own and everyone shouted inside. "Happy Birthday!"

Wanda was indeed surprised. Everyone was there except her dad. Tony and Pepper were there too. But Peter couldn't come due to an emergency.

When her mom and brother left after an hour, harder drinks kept on coming and before you knew it, it eventually turned into one of those college parties hosted by fraternities. The night went well as the party raved on. You let Wanda talk with some of her friends from highschool she hadn't seen for a long time while you went to get something nice to drink as you waited.

You knew you were slightly tipsy but not that drunk. Unexpectedly, you didn't know Christine was also invited to the party until she showed up beside you in the counter and began talking. "Remember when we used to create Grey Goose Vodka and drank all night?"

You laughed and nodded, barely registering the close proximity should bother you. "God, it was the best drink ever." Thankfully, Christine gave you space as she began re-creating the drink right in front of you like a bartender and handed you a shot once she was finished.

The redhead unknowingly leaned closer towards you when you were downing the drink she provided. She only stopped when Wanda came barging in, arm shooting in the middle, making Christine stumble backwards.

"Hey," Wanda greeted.

A smile grew on your face. "Hey, how's my birthday girl?"

"I'm alright, my highschool friends just told me you were the one who invited them... Thank you for that-"

Christine scoffed, making Wanda hiss at her. "What the fuck is your problem?"

"My problem is," she jeered when Wanda went to face her. "You don't deserve someone like Y/n... She deserves someone who actually loves her..."

"What did you just say?" She pushed towards the other girl, spilling the drink on her shirt.

"Hey, Wands, hey." You could tell Wanda had a little too much to drink. "Wands, it's not worth it."

You then pulled Wanda with you, telling Christine to go home.

Your girlfriend was still simmering with anger as you closed the bathroom door upstairs to clean her shirt. Ready to comfort her about Christine's words, you didn't expect her to pin you against the door, her front pressed hard against your back.

"Wanda," you moaned, cheek pressed on the cold wooden door, when she started peppering kisses on the back of your neck and grinding on your ass, the bulge in her pants evident as she kept on moving against you.

"Is this okay? I'm not hurting you?" Wanda breathily asked into your ear.

You shook your head rather eagerly. With little alcohol in your system, you couldn't deny not feeling hazy and horny, craving for your girlfriend's touch. "No, Wanda, it's okay... please..."

Wanda bunched up your dress up to your waist and cupped your cunt.

"You're so wet, baby." Then she hurriedly pulled your underwear off, not putting another second into waste. You heard her unbuckling her belt behind you and zipper being unfurled.

You didn't even know you were that aroused when she finally slipped the strap into your soaking center and she didn't meet any resistance at all, making you let out a surprised whimper. With determination and roughness you had never encountered from the redhead, she began harshly thrusting behind you, making your eyes roll to the back of your head, mouth choking out a moan, and your hands holding for dear life against the door.

She rammed into you in a relentless pace as she muttered words in your hair. "You're mine, Y/n... you're mine."

You now realized what Wanda must be feeling. Christine had no idea about the love that transpired between you and Wanda. She shouldn't had said those insulting words. Your hand clasped the side of her neck within reach, holding her near. "Wanda... I'm yours... I'm always yours."

Wanda's hand slipped in front of you as her fingers rubbed your clit in tight circles, making you reach your edge.

"Oh, fuck-"

"Scream my name," she murmured after she bit the skin of your neck. "I want you to scream my name and make them know you're mine."

"Fuck, Wanda!" No longer caring how loud you were, you screamed into the night, thankful that the music blaring outside would drown the filthy sounds you were both making. Somehow, you wished Christine was outside so she'd know how different Wanda was and how much she loved you.

You breathily panted at each other once you finally calmed down and came down from your high.

You turned your body to face Wanda as you cradled her face between your hands, the strap eventually pulling out of you. "Wanda, look at me.. Hey."

Wanda looked so scared to meet your gaze, like she was going to lose you, an apology on the tip of her tongue.

"I love you, Wanda," you assured her, stopping whatever doubts were running inside of her head. "And I am always yours... don't you ever forget that. My heart belongs to you... and only you."

She pressed her forehead against yours, letting out a sigh, as if she had been holding her breath all this time. "That's the song that's playing when I first met you."

"What?" you softly chuckled.

"It was my favorite song since I was a kid," she went on.

We're older now, the light is dim
And you are only just beginning

And then you could make out the music that had been playing all along, O Children by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds.

"And you were the only one dancing to the song like you really felt it within you. I wasn't looking for someone to sleep with that night. I had to study. But when I saw you, I said to myself, no, I have to know her." She cupped your face. "I have to kiss her."

"And you did," you supplied, controlling the tears around your eyes. You could tell she was too.

"And I did," Wanda answered, pressing a soft kiss against your lips. And then you aligned the strap into your entrance for her.

"Y/n, what-"

"You didn't finish," you explained, whimpering from the sensitivity of the stretch.

She smiled, eyes softening. "You don't have to..."

Hey little train, we are all jumping on
The train that goes to the Kingdom

But you had already started moving, making Wanda groan into it as she pushed you back to the wall, lifting you up. You wrapped your legs around her waist and arms around her neck as she leaned your back against the wall and began thrusting into you. Staring into each other's eyes, you could tell she was so close.

We're happy, Ma, we're having fun (ooh, children)

"I lo-love-," Wanda stuttered, struggling to get the words out, gasping moans in between. "You.... I... I lo-..."

Tears welled up from your eyes as you found yourself nodding.

"Wanda, I know...," you muttered, fingers threading through her hair, pressing your temples together. "I know, baby... I know... I love you too."

"Fuck, fuck." Wanda lost it as she sloppily thrusted into you, reaching her own orgasm.

Hey little train, wait for me
I once was blind but now I see, ooh

Chapter Text

"Where have you been?" Tony complained the minute you appeared before them in the hallway outside the cafeteria. "We've been waiting for you like ages ago... I'm literally starving."

"Same here, my stomach's been growling for hours now, that exam will be the death of me," Peter added, as the four of you started to walk and head inside the crowded room.

You quickly shrugged your shoulders, hoping they'd forget that you hadn't answered Tony's question yet. With mind still hazy from the after effects of Wanda fucking your brains out with her mouth and fingers in one of the secluded stalls of the fifth floor comfort room, you couldn't get yourself to properly come up with a good excuse. You guessed you could say Wanda's finals exams made her hungry too.

When you saw Pepper's teasing smirk directed your way, you shook your head and decided to change the topic, asking about the answers to certain items in the exams you just had before your girlfriend pulled you for a quickie.

In a week's time, the classes would all be over and the break would start. While relishing the chance to be with the redhead all the time now that studies were out of the way, you still dreaded for her inevitable graduation. Since there would still be another semester left, you'd decided to let your future you worry. However, time flew so fast that you found yourself nearing there.

You had been asking advices from Tony about it, with regard to his and Pepper's. Fortunately, they didn't even have to worry because Pepper would be studying for the board exams after her graduation. And they wouldn't literally spend time apart, considering the review school she planned on enrolling was only a block away from your university.

That was the thing about their relationship. They had grown mature and understanding through the years they had been together. For sure, they would manage long distance if they would ever encounter one.

While you and Wanda were still new, trying to learn everything, trying to save everything, to compromise. You'd completely understand if she would decide to continue her studies somewhere else, far away. You could do long distance relationships. You'd thought about it. What you would do. What Wanda would do. The nightly calls. The daily calls. Video calls. The weekend visits. You could do it. You think you can, anyway.

When you logged into your shift later that day at Loki's store, you didn't expect Christine would still be there. She would have finished hers an hour ago, unless, there were a lot of customers for the day.

After that fight she and Wanda had at the latter's birthday party, you and Christine got into a heated argument for her overstepping in your relationship. When she warned you about how someone like Wanda would never change and how dumb you were for believing her, you exploded with anger, then started to ignore the redhead. She felt the same sentiments towards you. You didn't know where the hot and cold behavior was coming from. You thought she was okay with you going out with Wanda, but apparently, she hadn't moved on.

So, it was just silence between the two of you. During work, if communication was necessary, such as checking the inventory or assisting the customers, it would only be cordial.

Sometimes, you and Christine would forget you two had a fight when a certain new song would come up in the radio and you'd both ecstatically say to search that song. Then utter awkward silence would follow once you both realized what you did.

Loki's voice brought you back to present. "I would like you to be present next Monday for the interview of a new store assistant."

Your face lit up. "Oh, you're hiring someone new?" You could use a new friend around the store now that Christine has been ignoring you.

"Yep," he replied nonchalantly. "Christine has decided to focus her last semester on her studies and quit. I think it's best considering she needed full time in preparation to take law school next year."

Your shoulders deflated. You knew Christine overstepped but she had also been your friend when you needed her. Lost as you went inside the main store, you didn't expect Christine to finally speak to you.

She forced out a nervous cough, as she placed her belongings inside a box. "So... I guess you might have heard from Loki already."

You glanced at her and she was avoiding your gaze. "Oh, yeah. I just.. I just-"

"It's not about you and Wanda, if you're wondering," she hurriedly explained.

Nodding back, you stuttered a reply. "Oh-kay..." Still, you couldn't help yourself but feel guilty. You knew it somehow contributed to her quitting.

"I... I have decided to give my entire focus on studies instead," Christine went on, finally meeting your eyes. "No other distractions. That's why I broke it off with Stephen too."

With confused expression, you asked, "You broke up with him?"

She only nodded back as she went on deciding whether the coffee mug on the counter was hers or the store's. "Less distractions, more chances of passing."

The silence continued to fill the place as you struggled to mutter something, anything that would help you get the heaviness off your chest. "I... I'm sorry..."

She playfully scoffed. "What are you saying sorry for?"

You swallowed a nervous lump in your throat. "Because..."

"Because you couldn't love me the way you loved Wanda?" Christine finished, meeting your eyes once again.

You froze. That was the one thing you couldn't give to her, and even when you didn't have to, you felt so sorry.

She let out a tired smile. "It's okay, Y/n. I guess I have learned to accept it now... We don't deserve good things in life. But I really enjoyed what we had together, even when it was shortlived. In line with that, I am going to leave you my favorite mixtape."

She placed the item in your hands. "What?"

"Think of it as a passing to another generation," she said. "It was given to me by my predecessor here at work before she left, but you could always give it to someone new when you'd quit here years from now... Plus, you always wanted new songs in your playlist, so give it a listen..."

You didn't know what to say. "Thank you."

"No, thank you," she countered. "I really do hope you and Wanda would work it out together."

You nodded back, the breath knocking out of you when she surprised you with a quick hug. Then she bid farewell as she returned inside Loki's office to grab more of her stuff. At least, you both got the closure you wanted. You really hoped Christine would find someone she deserved.

"Wands, we're gonna be late," you groaned, biting off a whimper as Wanda trailed kisses from your jawline down to your neck. You were in her dorm, preparing for the double date you agreed to with your friends. "And please, don't leave hickeys on visible areas."

"We can always postpone," she suggested, continuing her attack instead on the collarbone inside your clothes so she could leave a mark.

You squeaked a reply. "Tony and Pepper would get mad."

Wanda finally took mercy and pulled away. "Then why do you have to wear this dress? You know it does wonders to me."

You softly chuckled as you shook your head. "Baby, you're always doing that even when I'm only wearing my oversized t-shirt."

Wanda gripped your waist tight as she inhaled you, her nose and mouth grazing your left ear, her body pinning you against the door. "Fuck... You're always making me crazy."

You laughed a bit louder as she pulled away, your arms wrapping around her head. "And horny."

"And horny." She snorted, before giving you a tiny peck on your nose. "I can't wait for us to get home later and finally have my way with you."

She then stepped out of the room, leaving you all red. Your girlfriend could still easily make you lose yourself, even just one touch from her. At least now, she'd let you have your way with her too whenever you craved her.

Wanda didn't even stop you or even let you stop devouring her under the blankets when she answered her mom's call, thankfully putting it on mute from her side. When she let you use the strap on her, you realized you were really a bottom for Wanda as she rode you with fervor that time. To think of it, she could just tie your limbs to the bed posts and you wouldn't complain about it.

Lately, you and Wanda had been so hungry for each other that you two couldn't even control not doing it in public. To count a few, the quickie that happened after the finals exam. Or Maria's office being the chief editor of the Student Media and Publication. Or the shower stalls after minor PE classes, where Wanda would manage to sneakily slip into yours. Maybe it was because of the coming graduation months from now, that you never wasted a single second not savoring each other's presence.

Even though you couldn't get your hands off each other, you two still participated in the social life of being a couple. That was why when Pepper invited you two for a double date with her boyfriend Tony, you couldn't say no. You four went bowling behind the mall's arcade that day. Tony and you got paired up against Wanda and Pepper. It was a fair fight, knowing you and Pepper were good at it and very competitive.

When it was your turn to bowl, you decided to do your revenge for what Wanda did when you left her dorm. You gave her a tiny show by walking slowly towards the lane carrying the ball with your two fingers into the holes, bending your body so far before rolling the ball towards the pin. Upon hitting all of them, you turned your back to celebrate with Tony, never failing to notice the slight darkening of Wanda's pupils.

When the game was finally over with you and Tony winning, they went to get something Mexican to eat. Wanda immediately pulled you inside one of the photo booths in the arcade, where you and her had a heated makeout session. You were only reprimanded when Pepper came barging inside, showing you two a picture of you kissing your faces off.

While eating, Pepper asked Wanda if she'd go to the party held that night for all those graduating. Your girlfriend only shook her head, as if she was avoiding the topic. So, you insisted she should at least go and make an appearance. Knowingly, you just wanted to find out where Wanda planned to go from here. You hadn't gotten the chance to talk to her about it. And she hadn't mentioned a thing. So she did go to that party, bringing you with her.

As expected, Wanda was bombarded by questions on the things she would do after graduation from her other colleagues. Pepper too, leaving you and Tony to awkwardly stand on your spot. You attempted to listen to your girlfriend's friends, catching technical terms you couldn't understand, but Maria pulled you from the group and offered you a drink. At least, Tony was having fun as you saw him bringing inputs to the discussion with Pepper's classmates.

"Y/n, hey." You accidentally bumped into Natasha, almost spilling your drink on her.

"Nat, hey...," you greeted. "How are you?"

"How have you been?" she answered back, smiling widely towards Maria. Then back at you as she stated. "You're glowing tonight."

Your cheeks went red and you hadn't started drinking yet. Maria chimed in, making you even redder. "Oh, tell me about it, her and Wanda just kept on jumping at each other every fucking second I leave them two alone."

It made the blonde laugh out loud, before introducing herself to the brunette. While they went to chat about future prospects, your eyes darted to see where your girlfriend was at the moment. When you found her, her colleagues were already gone, replaced by an older woman a couple years older, maybe, talking to Wanda dearingly. You could tell she was a professor by the way she dressed so you didn't put much thought on how her hand never left Wanda's shoulders. And how she was rubbing her bicep as if helping Wanda from the cold.

Maria must had been asking you a question and you hadn't answered her, so she followed your gaze instead. "Oh..."

It made you avert your gaze. "Oh what?"

The brunette bit her lower lip as she grabbed another drink from the waiter who passed by.

Natasha quickly added. "Was that a good oh or a bad oh?"

Maria hesitated, drinking another gulp. "I don't wanna bring it up... It's nothing to worry really."

"What is?" you insisted, the hair at the back of your neck stood, meaning danger.

"Well," Maria answered. "That professor Wanda was talking to... They have a past..." Your heart thundered in your chest as you listened to her continue. "She used to be a student here in the university... I think Wanda was a freshman back then when they had spent the night together. But you shouldn't worry. A few years had passed, Y/n. Plus, Wanda's like a loyal golden retriever to you."

Maria laughed nervously, joined by you and Natasha. But you weren't sure anymore if the churning in your gut was caused by the nachos you ate earlier or the upsetting image in your head of Wanda and said professor doing not what they were doing right now.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Wanda broke the silence later that night in her dorm. You were laying your head on her chest as she lazily caressed the strands of your hair, sometimes twirling them into a curl. You and Wanda just had finished two orgasms each when you decided to take a breather and rest for a while.

"Mm?"

"You've been oddly quiet," the redhead muttered. "Did I hurt you?"

You pulled away and looked at her. "What? No.. I'm fine-"

"I know you," she went on. "You make that worry face whenever you think about something so hard."

You blew raspberries. "I don't have a worry face."

"Oh really?" Then her hands went to touch your face and pinched the skin above your nose, your forehead and the side of your eyes. "See? You're worried. What are you worrying about? Come on, you can share it with me."

You let out a sigh as you avoided her eyes. "This might seem silly."

"It won't." She lifted your chin up with her finger.

"I...," you began, thoughts still consumed with the information Maria left. "I thought you don't talk to people you had sex with."

Wanda tensed when you brought the topic so you immediately apologized. "I'm sorry, I just-"

Wanda cupped your face. "Baby, there's no need to be jealous. Was this about the professor earlier? You were really giving her daggers."

"I'm not jealous," you scoffed, snorting a nervous laughter.

But Wanda only smiled and raised her eyebrows at you so you went on. "It's just.... Well, you two look perfect and you two would make a perfect couple and I'm just... I'm just a nobody second year student who probably failed her finals, I don't know-"

"Come here," she requested, stopping you from your ramblings.

Wanda urged you to straddle on top of her as your temples pressed together. "Baby, we are perfect together. Please don't have doubts about us... I am yours as much as you're mine."

You let out a happy sigh as you nodded. "I'm sorry for thinking otherwise-"

"It's okay," she said, caressing the baby hair at the back of your neck. "Just because it wasn't true doesn't invalidate what you're feeling."

Your heart warmed at her statement. "I know... I love you."

Wanda smiled as she pressed your heads firmer, then placed a soft kiss on your nose.

"I actually want to tell you about something," she spoke after a while.

"Yes?"

"She... She actually told me about taking up Psy. D. programs... These tend to be more focused on the professional practice of Psychology."

You straightened yourself on her lap as she sat on the bed. "The degree usually takes four or even more years to complete. And students are required to complete a supervised practicum and internship in a clinical setting. The practicum usually involves working part-time under the supervision of a licensed Psychologist. The internship is another full-time position that lasts at least one year at the hospital or clinic of your choice."

"That's amazing...," you said the moment she finished. "I think you should do it, Wanda."

"The thing is...," she interjected, her eyes suddenly worried. "This university doesn't offer doctorate degrees for Psychology."

Your heart dropped from the clouds. This was the part where your future you had started her turn to fret. "Oh."

"I've researched so far," Wanda continued. "And I found the nearest one that offers the same. It's an eight hour drive from here, plane's much faster. I just... I don't know if you'd want that-"

"What?" You stopped her. "Wanda, of course, I want you to go-"

"But it's too far-"

"Hey," you butted in, cradling her face between your hands. "We'll make it work, okay?"

"But I've never tried long distance before," she protested. "I mean, I've never been in a relationship like this and I felt like I'm gonna hate long distance..."

You softly chuckled as you pressed your foreheads together. "We'll be fine, Wands."

Even you were not sure whether you could do it. Your voice must had given it away, bringing confusion to the redhead.

"Please don't be okay with it," Wanda pleaded.

"What?"

She explained further, "Please stop me from going."

You shook your head. "Do you want me to stop you from chasing your dreams? You wanted to be your father's doctor, Wanda. I'm not stopping you for that."

"I'm sorry... I just... Fuck, I'm gonna miss you..."

"I'm gonna miss you too... So terribly bad...," you agreed. "But hey, we still have months left before graduation, baby... Let's just cross the bridge when we get there, okay?"

Wanda only nodded as she placed a kiss on your nose, then another one. Lately, you found out it was her way of saying she loves you.

Chapter Text

"Mom, can we sleep now?" you asked your mother as you sat down on the edge of the bed. Your dad was away for work so you persuaded your mother to let you sleep in her bedroom. Your eyes drifted to where she was sitting by the desk, her eyes focused on the book sprawled on her lap, as if she hadn't heard you talking.

You stood up from the bed and walked towards her. "Mom, you know I can't sleep with the lights on." The moment you had said it, the room was suddenly covered with darkness. You let out a shriek as you let your eyes adjust to see through, finding out your mom wasn't there in the chair anymore.

When you turned back towards where you came from, your mother was already there on the bed, sitting all bloody, with eyes gouging out from her sockets, as she patted the sheets beside her. "Come sleep with me, my dear."

You must had screamed a little bit louder. So loud, that it felt so real.

"Y/n, baby... Baby, wake up." You awoke to the sound of Wanda's voice and the feeling of her soft warm hands cradling your face. It had been a few nights since the nightmares started to come back.

Wanda said once that it may had something to do with stress and anxiety. With classes out of the question, you wondered if it was because of the redhead's plans for the future, and the long distance relationship you'd both go through months from now.

"I'm sorry for waking you up," you apologized, throat a bit hoarse from shouting. "It's... it's gotten a lot worse now."

"It's okay really," she assured you. "Are you okay now?"

You found yourself nodding back as you avoided her probing eyes. "Yeah, I-I'll be fine."

"D-Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, trying hard not to sound inquisitive.

"I..." There was no point hiding it anymore. Wanda's your girlfriend. You aren't supposed to hide anything from her.

The redhead hurriedly added when she saw the hesitation on your face. "You don't have to talk about it if you're not yet ready... Just know I'm always here for you, okay?"

Her hands slipped to the back of your neck as she pulled you in a warm hug, ending with you sitting on her lap as your limbs wrapped around her like a koala bear.

Wanda smelled so good, you just wanted to inhale her and all of her. It was one of the things why you loved spending the night in her bed, surrounded by her sweet fragrance. She gently rocked you to sleep or some state peaceful that your eyes began to droop slowly. But then the image of your bloody mother appearing in your head made you open your eyes once again.

"I...," you slowly began, murmuring into her chest. "I've been having nightmares about my mother..."

Wanda's hand had now began rubbing your back in soothing patterns as you continued. "It... it was always the same dream... when she died, before and after she died... I... I kept on seeing her everywhere... and I... well, maybe I just miss her... but I hate it when she shows up dripping blood in my dreams."

A tear strolled down your face without you even knowing it until Wanda's other hand slipped to the side of your face to wipe it off you. "How did she die?"

Your girlfriend's voice was so calm and serene that you wanted to just tell her everything. But you weren't sure if Wanda would change how she sees you once she finds out the truth.

"It.... it was a car accident...," you stuttered, more tears streaming down from your eyes, making Wanda's chest wet. She pulled away from the hug and went to fully cup your face, her thumbs wiping the tears away.

"What was your mother like when she was alive?" she asked out of nowhere, as she went on brushing your eyes dry, then running her fingers through your messy hair that was starting to cling unto your wet face.

Her question brought you out of your miserable thoughts as you tried to remember how wonderful and amazing your mother was, bringing a smile to your face. "She's the best mom ever..."

"Yeah? Tell me more about her," Wanda said as she lay you both back on the bed, you on top of her.

"She gives me extra Oreos whenever I scored the highest in exams." Wanda softly chuckled as she caressed your hair, lulling you to sleep.

"What else?"

You let out a happy sigh as you rested your head on her chest, the sound of your girlfriend's heartbeat making you calm down. "She... she never once scolded me for being weirdly different in school..."

"How weird?"

"Well, I sometimes convinced my classmates back then that aliens were real... I guess it was a phase when my uncle visited one time on my birthday and told me stories about it."

Wanda chuckled above you, her body shaking with laughter. "Aliens are real, baby... And if you and I met way back then, we'd probably be best friends and could have created a club dedicated to finding extraterrestrial beings."

You laughed with her as you leaned in closer, your nose and lips grazing unto her neck. "Mom would have let us, she would even bring us snacks during our club meetings in our attic."

Wanda giggled at that. "Your mother must be so nice."

"She was." And you didn't even know when or how, but suddenly the way Wanda smelled and the touch of her fingers tracing gentle circles on your shoulders while the other brushing your hair was what made you finally succumb to sleep.

You became fast friends with the new worker named Carol. She was the luckiest one hired by Loki, chosen amongst a vast list of applicants he never thought would spike up the moment he posted the available position. Although, some were just dying to find out what you did to land someone like Wanda as your girlfriend.

Carol was a sweet charismatic person, very unlike Christine, so you and Loki had no problems welcoming her to the group. She was a second year student taking up Biology. You hadn't seen her around the university, but she had mentioned that she sometimes noticed you with Christine at the Student Council Office back when you two were dating. She even thought you two were still together.

The newly found friendship helped on relieving the stress and anxiety of Wanda's dreadful nearing graduation. Maybe, you'd get to share your problems with Carol some day, and maybe she would give you a good advice.

You were choosing between red or white wine one Saturday morning in the grocery department of the nearby mall when you bumped into the professor Wanda had a past with. Since your girlfriend was busy on her doctorate applications, you offered to run her errands, insisting you to buy both red and white wine for the dinner later that evening with your family.

But you didn't want to take advantage of Wanda's wealth, so you decided to just buy one. Your girlfriend just wanted to bring something your father would like even when you said she didn't need to.

"Sorry, dear... I didn't see you there," the professor apologized, her hand clutching a basket full of leafy green vegetables and almond milk. The woman really looked more beautiful up close, no wonder Wanda had agreed to sleep with her.

"I'm sorry too... I wasn't looking." You forced a smile her way.

"Having troubles choosing?" she asked, pointing at the two bottles of wine in your hands.

You hurriedly nodded back. "Yeah, I've been having a dilemma for an hour now."

She smiled at your admission and suggested, "Well, if you're looking for a sweet sensual night, choose the red wine..."

"Oh," you said, not expecting her to help you. "It's a... it's a family dinner..."

"Mmmm okay, white wine then," the professor answered.

"Thank you." As you were about to turn your back to head to the shelf where you got the bottles, she spoke again.

"You look familiar...," she started, her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to remember. "Wait, you're Wanda's girlfriend, aren't you?"

After a moment's hesitation, you let out a nervous chuckle as you nodded. The woman then held out her hand before you, making you put back the red wine into the nearby shelf and shook her. "I'm professor Rambeau, but you can call me Monica since you don't take my classes..."

You introduced yourself as well, out of respect. "My name's Y/n, nice to meet you..."

"Wanda has been talking a lot about you," she went on, making your cheeks red. "What course are you taking? Wait, she told me about this, Accountancy, right?"

You then began to wonder if there were times other than the party where Wanda had been talking to Monica.

"Yeah, Accountancy," you confirmed, licking your lips nervously.

"You must be good with numbers then." You weren't sure if Monica was flirting or just making a joke. The next question she asked made you conclude she wasn't. "Oh, has Wanda decided to take the scholarship she was offered to in London?"

You must had lost your ability to speak. London. Wanda hasn't mentioned about enrolling in another country at all. Your face must be giving it away, causing Monica to frown.

"Oh, she didn't mention anything to you," she stated, her smile apologetic yet playful. "Wanda took an exam before the classes ended and she passed with an exceptional score... It's a prestigious university that offers good Psy. D. curriculum. And she could get to amazing clinics and hospitals in the world if she would go there..."

But Wanda didn't want any of that. She just wanted to be her father's doctor. Or does she want something else now?

You didn't know why Wanda hasn't mentioned about it to you but you decided not to confront her. She would tell you if she was ready. Maybe, she wasn't even considering going there, thus, there was no need for her to bring up the topic.

When the redhead showed up later, surprising you with a bouquet of lilies as you prepared getting dressed for the dinner, the worry you had inside of your head was immediately thrown out of the window. Your girlfriend even bought flowers for your stepmother and some toys for the kids.

You were both heading towards your father's house from the bus stop when you noticed Wanda had stopped walking beside you.

"Hey, are you okay?" You didn't fail to notice that she was trembling, knowing it wasn't from the cold night.

"Yeah... I'm just fucking nervous," she admitted, letting out a worried smile as she shook herself. You took the goods from her hands and placed them on the ground, then holding hers between yours as you blew into them after placing a gentle kiss, not sure if it would help the shiverings she had but it somehow did.

You then pressed your forehead against hers as you muttered. "My family will love you, Wanda... You've got nothing to worry about."

She smiled and pulled away, letting out a nervous breath. "Yeah, I can do this."

You didn't even know why you were also nervous. Maybe you just wanted your father to like Wanda as well because she's a very important person in your life. They had no problems with Christine but you didn't care if they liked her or not.

Wanda was different. You even imagined marrying her one day. And no members from either of your families would be against of the marriage.

Johnny and Sue were very nice to Wanda, immediately pulling her to the living room to play Dance Dance Revolution with them. You guessed it was their way of initiation if your girlfriend would pass the vibe. And when she somehow beat their highest score by luck, Sue gave you a thumbs up, making you all laugh.

During dinner, you held Wanda's hand under the table, giving it a reassuring squeeze every time your dad and stepmother Jane would ask her a question and her voice sometimes appeared shaky and nervous.

"What did you say your father's work again?" your dad asked as he handed Wanda the bowl of mashed potatoes.

You were about to complain to your dad not to terrorize your girlfriend, knowing topics about her father were sensitive.

"Oh, he... he used to be a lawyer before he was checked in to a mental institution," she slowly admitted in a low voice.

A lawyer. You didn't know that. You didn't even think to ask because you didn't want to upset her. Was she hiding the information from you since you mentioned how you hated lawyers?

Your father was then speechless after that, Jane overtaking the conversation. You weren't sure if your dad had taken it lightly that Wanda's father was crazy.

When the night finally ended, your dad unexpectedly pulled you into his study office to discuss about something, leaving Wanda under your siblings' care where they invited her for another round of the game.

The moment the door to his study was closed, your father glared at you, making you wonder what you did.

"What?" you asked, unaware of why he was suddenly acting like he wanted to kill someone.

"What did you say Wanda's surname was again?" your dad asked, oblivious of your irritated reaction.

"What?!" you exclaimed incredulously.

"Come on," he insisted. "Just tell me..."

You sighed exasperatedly before you replied, "Maximoff, why?"

Your father closed his eyes as he walked back and took a seat on his chair, massaging his temple as if he had migraine going on.

"What's wrong?" Then you said in a whisper. "Look, if this has something to do with Wanda's dad not being in his right mind, then you've got to know how nice he is at least-

"Wanda's dad was the one who killed your mother," he declared, making you stop.

You scoffed in disbelief, prepared to defend Wanda and her father to the outrageous accusation made by your dad. "What? No, he doesn't... he's not... he's not the drunk driver who got away-"

"-No...," your dad interjected. "But Wanda's dad was the lawyer who protected the drunk driver, winning him with only eight years to serve in the prison, Y/n..."

You almost fainted as you shook your head, refusing to believe. "No... There's thousands of lawyers out there-"

"-There weren't that many lawyers with the name Maximoff... Has Wanda ever told you that her father got cuckoo because of your mother's case?"

You lost your voice, realizing then that you never really knew because you didn't ask.

"He was the one who won the case, Y/n," your father went on, controlling his temper. "He's the reason your mother's killer was roaming around free right now while your mother is rotting six feet under the ground."

Chapter Text

It's going to be okay.

That had been your mantra for weeks now since the haunting revelation your dad told you. It still shook you to the bones that you sometimes found yourself wishing you didn't just go to said dinner with Wanda.

How cruel the universe must be, when you finally found the one for you, who loved you just the same, only to be connected to the only reason why you hated lawyers so much. You wanted to see it through just like what you did with Christine's choice of profession. But this was a different case. There was a direct cohesive relation between you and Wanda's dad.

You should really be mad at the suspect only, the drunk driver who had caused all this misery. But no. The lawyer he had was so good, you considered him an accomplice.

All the happy times that you had spent with the guy made you so much guilty, it became unbearable to a point where your nightmares had gotten worse.

You filled yourself with distractions just to avoid having any empty schedule in your day to be able to think about your own mother and about what Wanda's father did. These consisted of work, studies for the coming semester and the never-ending sex with the redhead.

You went on with your life with Wanda as if the family dinner never happened. That you didn't just find out how much you hated her dad.

But your girlfriend noticed, of course. How there had been a tension slowly building between you and her, consuming you every day with guilt and conscience until no one amount of love was left, making you scared about losing Wanda in the process.

Wanda was not her father, you knew that. And you loved her above limits. But there were things in life that we didn't actually deserve. Good things never lasted. Or they were just too good to be true. And you got terrified if that was it, the beginning of the end of your relationship.

The lies started when Wanda grew worried after the visit, asking numerous times if your father liked her or not, and what you and him talked about when you went inside his study office. You assured her he did like her and he just had a question on how to use the printer he newly purchased. You hoped Wanda would let it go, after she sent a follow up question on why she could hear shoutings from the room, if you had a fight with him, but you went on with your lie, saying that your father was only impatient.

But she knew something was definitely wrong. Or she was getting there. Especially when Wanda would go visit your stepsiblings for another round of the games they persistently requested, you would time it perfectly when your dad would be away for business meetings. She would eventually notice.

You just hoped the inexplicable excuses you gave whenever Wanda asked you to go with her to meet her dad wouldn't give you away. You had listed any valid excuse you could find, so when your girlfriend would ask, you would immediately have a madeup excuse.

Fortunately, classes started and the list of valid excuses you had only expanded. You wanted to tell your friends about it because it was slowly consuming you, nightmares had become the usual every single night. Even when you were always lulled to sleep in Wanda's arms, it didn't help when your mother kept on shouting in your own head how much of a traitor you had been.

You were grateful Wanda had been understanding for your sudden change in behavior and she didn't love you any less. But everything always had its limit.

"What's this?" was what you heard Wanda ask in a demanding tone the moment you entered your dorm room after your last class for the day. You and Wanda would meet first before going outside to have dinner.

You gave her a smile that quickly turned into a frown of confusion the second you saw what she was holding. A bouquet of flowers, the type of flowers she usually doesn't give you.

"Um, you got me new kinds of flowers?" You guessed, moving closer towards her.

But she only stepped back, making you suddenly worry. "No, Y/n, they're not from me... It is for you, though... Saw it outside your door."

You only froze halfway. "What? Who would get me flowers?"

Wanda shrugged her shoulders as she gave you the bouquet, almost throwing it at you. "You tell me."

Then you looked at the card inserted amongst the petals. It was a simple greeting for you to have a nice day with the name Carol written after it, your new co-worker. Your cheeks turned red when you saw the P.S. note she made.

Your beautiful smile makes my day at work bearable.

"Why didn't you tell her you're already taken?" Wanda asked exasperatedly as she walked away from you. The redhead knew about Carol, you had told her things about her, how she was always so sweet and nice unlike Christine, and how good the songs she had in her playlist that you immediately made a copy.

"I.. I never really talk about relationships with her-"

Wanda only scoffed. "Oh, for sure you must be unconsciously flirting with her all the time-"

"Wanda, I'm not, okay?" you interjected, shaking your head in disbelief. "Are you jealous?"

"No, Y/n...," she scornfully mocked, letting out a fake laugh. "I'm definitely okay with my girlfriend's co-worker making advances to her."

"Wanda, she's just a friend," you explained. "Tomorrow, I'll clear things up with her..."

Wanda didn't speak as she leaned her back against the wall, controlling her temper. You placed the flowers on your desk and cautiously walked towards the redhead.

"Are you still mad?" You attempted to cup her face but she only looked down.

"I hate that anyone can look at you like that...," she admitted in a small voice. Then she met your gaze before she looked at the floor again. "I don't want anyone looking at you like that.... And don't get me wrong, it's not your fault you're nice and equally beautiful and hot, it's... it's just... I want to be selfish with you..."

Your frown turned into a smile as you managed to lift her chin to look at you. "Wanda, I'm yours, remember?"

"Not in Carol's eyes, you're not," she quickly added.

You let out a heavy sigh before she continued. "Why don't you just quit? You told me once you never really needed the money... Your dad's financially stable, Y/n..."

Wanda was right, but quitting would only take almost half of your valid excuses or distractions from not thinking about your mother's death.

"Wanda, I can't do that-"

"Is it maybe you want to spend time with Carol?"

You immediately pulled away with a hardened gaze, the sound of venom in her voice making you sick to the stomach. "Wanda, I already told you she's just a friend... I will clear things up with her the soonest I'll meet her. She might just misunderstood me and all..."

When the redhead only ignored your explanations, you went on. "What about you and Monica, then?"

"What? Are you seriously guilt-tripping me right now?"

"No, Wands...," you argued. "I'm talking about your scholarship offer in London... When were you gonna tell me?"

"How did you-"

"Monica told me, of course," you answered flatly.

Her eyes immediately softened as she moved towards you, with you stepping back away from her this time. "I..."

"Didn't want to bring up the subject to me?"

Wanda shook her head. "I didn't want to bring it up because I'm not going, Y/n... Everyone in the class took the exams, it just happened I passed... And I already told you of my plans, baby... Moving to another country is a bit stretched, don't you think?"

You avoided her gaze. "I just... Monica said it's a good school-"

"And I'm not missing much, Y/n, to be honest." Wanda pressed her forehead against yours, finally catching up to where you stood immobile. "I only want to be near you... I'm sorry for keeping it from you."

You sighed and leaned closer, your arms wrapping around her head. "I'm sorry too... About Carol... But me and her are merely just friends, Wanda... You don't have to worry about her.."

You both suddenly found yourselves swaying, hugging each other, to the song you didn't notice playing outside the room. Ghost by Adaline flowed through the speakers of your dorm neighbor, making you close your eyes as you buried your head into her neck, pressing your bodies together.

"Are we still fighting?" you asked after a short pause, pulling from the hug as you stared at her face.

Wanda's lips slowly turned into a smile before capturing yours in a kiss. The kiss soon turned heated when she slipped her tongue into your mouth, tasting you as you tasted her.

"I guess not," you panted between the kisses, a smile on yours.

Wanda pulled away as she pushed you on your bed, making you fall on your back in surprise. "Take off your clothes, baby."

You chuckled out loud as you did, watching her eagerly getting rid of her own.

It was almost nighttime when you two managed to sate your hunger towards each other and got actually hungry. Wanda ordered pizza instead for dinner, especially when you couldn't feel your legs after the tiresome lovemaking you both did. Wanda still made you come after dinner, making you both surrender to sleep the moment you finished.

She laid her head on the pillow next to yours, her tired eyes gazing at you with questions probing inside desperate to come out.

"I think your father hates me, Y/n," she muttered so softly, you almost didn't hear it. She said it so small as if she was afraid of the answer you'd give to her.

Your hand went to creep on her face and brush the strand of her hair over her ear. "No, he doesn't... Wanda, stop being worried."

"You're right, I might be just overthinking," she answered, then placing a tiny peck on top of your nose. You murmured back to her how much you love her.

When her eyes finally droop to a close before you, you couldn't help but stare at her resting form. The silence of the night made your mind travel back to what happened weeks ago, inside your father's office.

"Break up with her," your dad demanded with finality. "End it with Wanda."

"What? You can't be serious," you exclaimed, glaring at him. "Wanda doesn't have anything to do with what his father did-"

"Are you hearing yourself?" he interrupted, hissing your way. "Y/n, she's the offspring of the man who caused injustice to your mother's death."

"Dad, you can't just blame her, she doesn't even know-"

"You haven't seriously forgotten what we've been through since your mother's death, have you? What you've been through?"

Images of you wearing a hospital gown quickly flashed through your head and gone in an instant when your dad hit the desk with his fist. You swore the loud noise had reached outside.

"And who do you think she's gonna choose when she finds out?" he went on. "Are you seriously gonna think you and her will last without her father's presence?"

"What? What are you saying?"

He gritted his teeth before he continued. "Y/n, his father was a good lawyer, the best in town at the time... That when I found out, I personally asked him not to accept the case. But he never listened... He just cared about his job and the money that came with it, that drunk driver was a rich asshole and Wanda's dad immediately got blinded..."

"But Wanda doesn't have anything to do with what her father did-"

"The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, Y/n... Who knows she might do the same to you."

"Are you fucking scaring me?" you asked incredulously.

"Y/n... Don't tell me life goes on between you and Wanda with that in mind...," he insisted. "You're just gonna hurt yourself in the process... Do you want to go back to the life you had before?"

You immediately fell silent, not wanting to think about the past at all.

"Break up with her now when it's still early," your dad pleaded, close to crying. "I don't want to lose you again, Y/n..."

And maybe the pitiful sight of your father or the overwhelming revelation was what made your head eventually nod.

Lying to your father wouldn't help you in the long run. But you loved Wanda so much, you couldn't let her go. Even when your mother got angrier in your nightmares. Even when you were slowly losing grasp of the reality.

"It's going to be okay, Wands," you murmured softly as you watched your girlfriend sleep, brushing strands of her hair from her face. A tear managed to escape from your eye.

It's going to be okay.

Chapter Text

There was a flash of blinding light in front of you as you stood frozen in the middle of the street, loud horns blaring from the source almost rendering you deaf. It was all a blur after that.

Red hair. Green eyes. Then darkness.

Your eyes then fluttered open.

You found yourself at an empty table inside a familiar cafeteria, but it wasn't the university's. You had no idea how you got there but you knew you had been admitted into the mental institution for almost a year now, having blackouts every now and then.

Today's lunch specialty was Lasagna and Parfait for dessert, since most of the current residents in the place had their birthdays that day. A plate full of said pasta and some pineapple juice box remained untouched before you.

You thought about what the distant memory of red hair and green eyes was about but it was too far in the depths of your mind that you couldn't manage to dig through. After months of getting admitted, you learned that you had lost grasp of your own reality and couldn't deal with the real world anymore, something you still hadn't figured out as you stayed in the facility. As part of the healing process, you weren't visited by your family or friends for so long, you began to wonder how they were since you had been gone.

"I swear Broccoli is flirting with me," a guy an inch taller sat across from you at the table, placing a tray of food he got from the counter. He was followed by a girl older than you, a glass of Parfait in her hands.

Being separated from the outside world, you had made some friends in there too. And they were amazing, never thinking you'd finally felt yourself belong. Kiwi and Peach. And some boy named Fig who just got transferred to a different facility.

Funny names. Actually, you were christened with the name Persimmon because you were asking the doctor what he was eating on your first day there, him deciding that was what he would call you from that day on. To remain anonymity, the patients were named based on fruits while the staff and doctors were named from vegetables.

Peach was a dreamer, she had been admitted longer than you and Kiwi after she had attempted suicide or pretended she did, you couldn't remember. Although, a part of you couldn't figure out if she was lying or not. She just seemed so happy that it was truly a wonder what hell was going through inside her head.

Kiwi was also a newbie like you. Newbies was what you classified those patients who hadn't stayed for more than a year. He kept on flirting with the lunch lady, Broccoli, at the facility's cafeteria, suddenly wondering how he still got confidence after having a mental breakdown when his short term girlfriend broke up with him.

"What about you, Y/n?" Peach teased. "Any luck with Basil?"

A laugh came out of your mouth as you continued to play with your food, shaking your head at your friend's silly insinuation. You still had not opened up to Basil, your therapist, for weeks now though. Even when you couldn't find yourself to answer, she only kept on asking you how you were doing, how the activities in the facility were for your liking, how nice the environment was. You had opened up to Kale before, your previous theraphist, but when Basil turned over since his wife got pregnant, you suddenly found hesitation to share, never wanting to repeat what you had just said. Maybe, Basil's methods were a bit soft, mentally complaining why she couldn't just read about your profile information to start with.

"Are you ready to talk about why you're here?" was always her greeting every session scheduled with you. And then when she was met with silence from your end, she'd talk about the bland food in the place, to which you'd laugh at.

You then began telling about the good things in the institution instead, such as the library and the garden. You had a fair share of good days in there. But it didn't mean you no longer had bad days.

Those were the worst.

Nightmares hadn't stopped. Only it wasn't about your mother's death anymore. It was something else.

On the following week, when you found a group of family hugging around each other at one of the tables in the cafeteria, where one of them had shiny red hair, you suddenly closed your eyes as you started to cry for an unknown reason.

You didn't come out of your room that day nor talk to your friends until Basil knocked on your door, bringing a tray of your food with her. She attempted to start a conversation but you were too weak to respond.

However, before she managed to step outside of the room after placing your food at the bedside table, you broke the silence.

"I think I'm ready now," you softly murmured as you straightened up to a sit on your bed.

Basil smiled at you with a softened expression as she opened her tablet and took a seat right in front of you. Suddenly, you found yourself struggling to speak, opening then closing your mouth every now and then.

"Why don't you start from the beginning? You don't need to finish it all tonight though," she suggested.

You swallowed a nervous lump in your throat as you avoided her bespectacled gaze. "I-It...," you stuttered. "It started when I told Wanda about the truth..."

"And this Wanda was a special friend to you?"

"She was the love of my life," you truthfully admitted, a small smile creeping on your face. Then you were transported back to another world as you recounted the memory.

It was a Saturday when Wanda had enough of your inordinate excuses of not meeting with her dad. Her father just got an award in the facility he was admitted to, so your girlfriend decided to have a special night for him, asking you to join them in the restaurant she had made reservations. It was the only restaurant in the area who welcomed people like her dad. Since her brother couldn't come and she didn't invite their mom at all, she spent her whole day insisting for you to go with her.

And after numerous attempts where Wanda suddenly found how suspiciously stubborn you were, you finally relented. You didn't want to disappoint her anymore, so you went with her. Little did you know, the redhead had grown observant how you couldn't even look her father in the eye nor start a conversation about his favorite band Queen, which you were always animated to talk with him.

If you weren't Wanda's girlfriend, she could tell you were a cold stranger that night who despised the presence of her dad.

You tried to participate. You did. But every time you looked at him, your mother's bloody image would suddenly appear inside your head, making you shut your eyes close before abruptly excusing yourself to the comfort room.

Already foreseeing the interrogation the redhead would do to you when you got home, you decided to bring up random topics in mind the moment you came back at the table, such as the great food and the wonderful music. Her dad would reply but you couldn't get yourself to meet his eyes whenever you talked.

"Why?" was the first thing Wanda asked when you and her finally reached your dorm room.

"What why?" you retorted, knowing what she really meant but you played it cool, as you took off your dress and changed into some comfortable pajamas.

When you handed her your clothes she could change into, you then noticed she was glaring daggers at you, biting her lower lip furiously as she crossed her arms against her chest.

"What's wrong?" you simply asked her.

"Why are you treating my father like a scum in the earth?" Wanda replied with gritted teeth. "I thought... I thought you would understand the situation he was in... You, of all people... but tonight, you couldn't even look at him... It was like seeing my mother in you."

You let out a tired sigh as you walked back to the dresser, leaving the clothes on top of it.

"Are you just gonna ignore my question like you had been ignoring my dad?" she went on when you found yourself heading to the bathroom to brush your teeth. "You could at least look at me."

"Wands, baby, it's late," you finally replied. "I don't want to fight-"

"Then answer me," she pleaded. "Why are you acting like that?"

Then you leaned your back against the wall, sliding yourself until you landed to a sit on the floor, elbows resting on your knees as your hands ran through your hair. Wanda must had noticed she was coming harsh towards you when she began apologizing. She kneeled before you, clutching your hands as she made you look at her.

"Babe, please, tell me," she said, more like a beg.

"My mother died due to a car accident when... when I was ten years old," you began, licking your lips nervously as you prompted yourself not to cry. "It was a drunk driver..."

Wanda slowly sat on the floor, crossing her legs as she moved closer to you. The room suddenly felt so small, as if it was shrinking to the two of you, making you difficult to breathe.

"The drunk driver... He... H-He killed my mother in an instant...," you continued, voice almost breaking. "They said my mom's body was almost unrecognizable, I'm not even sure what parts of her were still intact.."

Wanda held your hands reassuringly, taking them off from your head. You decided to go on. "He was supposed to serve at least twenty-five years in prison because of that... Even when he deserved a lifetime...  But his l-lawyer... his lawyer was so fucking good..."

You let the information sink in as the redhead loosened her hold on you, eventually letting your hand go. You could tell her brain was whirring in motion as she deciphered what you were trying to say.

"Can you believe it, Wanda?" you asked, meeting her gaze with mixed expression. "He only got to serve eight fucking years because of his lawyer... That was why I fucking hate lawyers... They never cared about the innocents... They just cared about the money..."

"Y/n-"

"And then I found out recently," you interjected. "That not only was your father previously a lawyer, but... oh, sweet merciful god... But he was also the lawyer of the drunk driver who took my mother's life."

"How did you-"

"My dad told me."

There. You finally said it. Just like ripping off a band-aid. You suddenly wished you could take it back after seeing the horrified state of your girlfriend in front of you. You knew then that she didn't know. That she had no idea her father could do such a horrible thing.

She shakily stood up as she massaged her temple, lost on what to say.

"Did you know?" you chanced to ask.

She looked at you with incredulity, like she couldn't believe you were blaming her for it. "I didn't, Y/n, I swear..."

You bowed down your head as you avoided her eyes, migraine coming in as you clutched unto your head. "I thought I could handle it, Wands... But it all came back... I couldn't face your dad... well, not after knowing what he did... I just... I just... I'm sorry."

"Do you blame me?" Wanda asked in a small voice. Her pitiful question made you immediately rise to your feet as you shook your head. "No, Wanda.. I don't-"

"Is that why your father hates me so much?" she asked, tears welling around her eyes.

"Wands-"

"Tell me, Y/n," she said with a firm voice. "Is that why you had been acting strange around me?"

"I'm not acting strange around you, I'm still the same-"

"Yeah, you think I wouldn't notice how you avoided spending most of your time with me, and when we do, you'd resort it to sex just because I wasn't complaining-"

"I just don't want to bring it up-"

"That you're slowly starting to hate me?" she finished.

"Wanda-"

"Then, I'm sorry," she gasped, voice breaking. "I didn't know, Y/n... If only I'd known.... If only... I'm so sorry..."

You tried to approach her but she only stepped back. "You don't need to apologize for your father's actions, Wanda."

"You're saying that but your body says the opposite," she countered.

You suddenly fell silent. Did it change? You hadn't noticed until now. You were so preoccupied with trying to hide the redhead from your father's eyes, that you didn't even notice you were slowly losing it.

"Does it make you love me less?" Her question made your heart ache for her.

"Don't say that-"

She scoffed, shaking her head. "Does it?"

"Your father killed my mother, Wanda!" you reasoned out.

She sighed exasperatedly as she clapped her hands together, making a loud noise. "How would you take it if a doctor couldn't perform his surgery well and killed his patient accidentally, does it make him a murderer then, Y/n?"

"That's different-"

"Or how about this?" she went on. "What if that drunk driver had an innocent daughter? What if you were dating her instead? Would you treat us just the same?"

"Don't say that, Wanda, I don't blame you, you're not your father-"

"It certainly crossed your mind, I'm sure," she argued.

"You're just putting words in my mouth," you protested, even not sure yourself because it did cross your mind somehow. "Wanda, I love you... I love you so much... But I... I can't... I can no longer deny how much I hated your father for what he did... That sometimes... sometimes, I'm glad he... he went crazy, because if not, I would wish him dead."

Wanda broke down into tears as she hurriedly dashed towards the door, almost stumbling from her eagerness to get away from you.

"Wanda," you called out to her, willing yourself to go after her. But she was fast enough as she slipped behind the door. Then she quickly said, "Don't wait up for me..."

She slammed the door shut in front of your face, making you stop. It was also the switch that broke the dam and made your tears fall from its hold.

Wanda didn't come back later that night. Nor did you make any attempt to look for her.

Chapter Text

The activities that the mental facility had, where patients would be required to participate, were either performed indoors or outdoors.

Indoors included drawing, painting, musical classes and the like while outdoors involved getting into sports like volleyball, basketball and table tennis. You weren't an outdoorsy person like your friends so you were stucked indoors most of the time.

The art teacher, Leek, commended how good you were at drawing, he would even assign you to be the speaker at one of the classes every now and then.

Bony fingers danced before you as you began sketching an unrecognizable figure on the blank canvas during art classes. You couldn't remember if it had something to do with your recurring nightmares. It was always the same drawing. Kiwi kept on teasing you about it, but you only shook your head, and quipped back on his silly attempts to pursue Broccoli.

Your friends were also glad you were finally opening up to Basil, even when you had been hesitant at first.

It had been two days since the first time you started sharing about your past, the reason why you were there. And it was so unbearable, that you had stopped talking after that day. Basil didn't pressure you though. She'd talk about something else on days you couldn't speak about it.

It was a rainy Thursday when you decided that you were finally ready to open up again on your session with her later. You were cooped up with your friends at the lounge area with nothing to do at the moment, listening to champagne problems by Taylor Swift. Peach had music privileges to change the songs blaring from the speakers.

The lounge area had two televisions used only during movie nights, a few tables with board games on top of them and a mini library in the corner. It even had a tennis table, where an ongoing battle was happening between the most competitive patients in there, Quince and Crispin.

Peach was telling you a story about Fig, but you couldn't get yourself to listen anymore as you stared blankly ahead. You thought about where you left off when you first started sharing about Wanda, only just to remember so you would know where to continue later. You didn't expect to be consumed with the memory, sucking you into the depths until you found yourself drowning.

Wanda wasn't in her dorm room the following day after you told her the truth about her father. When nobody answered her door as you knocked, you began messaging her instead, even attempted to call her multiple times but it all went to voicemail. You tried asking Maria or Steve but the redhead didn't leave any messages to them as to where she went.

Maybe space was what Wanda needed, but the more time ticked by, the more worried you became that maybe she was no longer your girlfriend. Around 7pm, there was a knock on your door, making you hurriedly scramble to your feet.

Wanda looked like she hadn't slept and there was redness in her eyes. You wanted to take it all away, just so you could see her beautiful smile once again. If you could turn back time, you would just tell yourself to suck it up and face her father so you wouldn't have to tell her about the truth.

When she met your gaze, you could tell she was holding back tears, so you moved forward and wrapped your arms around her in a tight hug, hoping to absorb whatever misery she was having.

The redhead buried her face into your hair as she snaked her arms around your back, fingers clutching against your shirt, as if she was scared you had left her even when she was the one who left you.

"I'm sorry," you heard her murmur, lips grazing against your neck while she sniffled. "I'm so sorry, Y/n... I'm sorry."

You pulled away from the hug as you cupped her cheeks before you. "Wanda, it's okay..."

She shook her head as she choked out a sob, although tears began streaming down her face. You linked your fingers with hers as you pulled her inside your room. After closing the door, the redhead began talking even when her voice was still breaking, pacing around the room aimlessly.

"I went to my mom," she gasped, arms hugging herself. "I asked her if it was true. If dad really took the case against your mother..."

She then met your eyes as she stopped walking. Abruply making her way towards you, you didn't expect her to kneel on the floor as she captured your hands.

"Wands-"

"I'm so sorry, Y/n," Wanda went on, crying still. "I'm sorry for what my father did... If only I had known-"

"Wanda, it wasn't your fault, okay?" You tried to get her to stand but she wouldn't budge.

"It was the reason my mom started treating him differently...," she explained, avoiding your eyes. "Dad... D-Dad had lost it, so consumed with power and wealth that he didn't even realize what he was doing.. Mom said it wasn't just your mother's case that he won... there were countless other similar cases as well. That was mom's breaking point when she requested for a divorce...  Dad went crazy after that, the cases taking a toll on him, both mentally and emotionally..." Then she looked up as she squeezed your hands. "I'm so sorry about what he did, Y/n..."

"Wanda, stop, you shouldn't apologize for his actions-"

"But I should," Wanda continued. "I didn't know what he did... But seeing you suffer from your nightmares, witnessing what you had been through, I felt so stupid for being so ignorant... I feel so guilty making you go to that stupid dinner-"

"Wands-"

"I hated Psychology...," she admitted, almost fuming. "I lied... I've always hated it... But I still went to pursue it because I knew then my dad needed me..."

She scoffed as she chuckled darkly to herself. "How foolish I was to sacrifice four years of my life for someone like him... I'm gonna quit my studies, Y/n... Maybe,  I'd shift to another course next year-"

You kneeled down before her, cradling her face as you urged her to stop.

"Wanda," you uttered. "Don't let him get to you-"

"I hated him for what he did, Y/n... To you... To others-"

"I know... It's okay..."

"No, it's not... And now you hate me because of him... Your father hates me, too... I don't want to lose you, Y/n-"

"No, Wanda, that's not true," you stopped her, pulling her by the neck as you pressed your temples together. "My love for you hasn't changed one bit, Wanda... I don't hate you... I promise you that."

She eventually nodded as she choked out another sob. You wrapped your arms around her shoulders as you held her tight, stroking the back of her hair as you let her cry in your arms. You gently pressed a kiss on the side of her head as you assured Wanda how much you loved her and that you'd never ever leave.

How wrong you were.

"Persimmon, hey," Kiwi called out as he shook you, bringing you back to the present. "You okay? We lost you there."

You blinked your eyes as you adjusted to your surroundings, seeing your friends' worried stares. Slowly nodding, you replied, "Yeah, I'm fine... I just lost myself... Silly me."

"Well, why don't you open it up with Basil on your session later-

"Shoot!" you exclaimed, looking at the wall clock in the lounge area. "I'm late."

While you hurriedly bid farewell and exited the place, you accidentally bumped into an older man with a cap on his head.

"Sorry," you quickly apologized as you walked past him.

"Um, do you know where the visiting area is located?" the man asked, smiling your way. "We got lost..."

It was only then when you noticed he wasn't a patient there as your gaze focused on the two kids hiding behind his legs, probably scared you were one of those harmful crazy patients. Shaking yourself, you pointed towards the corner.

"Farthest room on the right," you answered.

"Thank you," he said, not leaving his eyes on you as you left.

You were heading to your room to change into some new clothes before going to Basil's office when you noticed the door already open and there was a woman standing inside your room, staring at the drawings you had posted on the wall.

When her eyes caught your presence by the door, Basil turned and immediately apologized. "Sorry for intruding in, I was going to meet up with you here... But I couldn't help not be mesmerized by your drawings. They're really good."

"It's okay, you're always welcome here, I mean, I cannot literally lock my room," you playfully replied as you went to your dresser. "And thank you for the compliment..."

"What inspired you?" she asked. "To draw, I mean."

You shrugged your shoulders. "I don't exactly know... It was just a silly indoor activity they made me do."

Basil settled on your answer as she took a seat by the desk. You realized then that you'd be doing your session in your room instead.

You cleared your throat as you began to speak. "Actually, I would like to continue talking about Wanda and what happened after I told her the truth for today's meeting."

She met your eyes, uncertain. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," you answered. "It's a bit overdue, anyway."

"It will be at your own pace though, remember that," Basil added, now opening her tablet to go through your profile info.

You carefully sat on the edge of your bed as you licked your lips nervously. Inhaling a large amount of air, you eventually began, "Wanda and I were at my father's house one night when all hell broke loose."

She raised her gaze to focus at you on your choice of words. "What do you mean?"

Then you were slowly swimming back to the memory where you left off.

It was a weekend spent babysitting your stepsiblings when you decided to invite Wanda to come and try the game you bought for Johnny and Sue. Your father was currently away for business so you didn't expect him to be back any time soon.

It was a mistake that changed everything.

When your father entered the main door with Jane, complaining about traffic, he stopped on his tracks when his eyes settled on Wanda.

Your girlfriend couldn't even move on her spot in the couch as the children made a run towards Jane for the treats she brought with her.

That was when your father cornered you in the living room. The thing about him was that even though he thought he was only whispering, it was always audible enough to others when he was mad. "I thought you broke up with her-"

"Dad! You can't just say that-"

"Why did you lie to me?" he spat at a low voice. "Did you forget what her father did? I don't want to lose you again, Y/n-"

"Dad, shut up," you argued, not minding what he really meant with his last sentence, because you were so infuriated with the way he was behaving. Especially when Wanda was just sitting meters away. "Wanda could hear you-"

You suddenly lost your words when you noticed the redhead was no longer on the couch. Your eyes fleetingly darted towards the main door as you saw a sliver of red hair slipping through before it closed.

"Fuck you, dad! Look at what you did!" you cursed at him before running after your girlfriend.

Thankfully, she hadn't walked out that far as you called out to her. "Wanda!"

But she only continued to ignore you as she hailed a taxi on the streets.

"Wanda, please, let me explain," you pleaded, grabbing her wrist to spin her around and face you, but she was just too strong.

When she had managed to call a cab, you finally pulled her back, only to be heartbroken by the sight of her crying. You loosened your hold as she yanked her hand away from you, hurriedly getting inside the vehicle, taking advantage of your stunned self.

You had never seen Wanda so hurt before that you could no longer see the brightness you had loved from her eyes. You did that. You caused that. You hurt her.

You didn't even realize you had started crying when you suddenly felt Basil's hand on your arm, squeezing you.

"I'm sorry," you muttered as you quickly wiped the tears from your face.

"Do you want to stop? Maybe we can take a break," she suggested.

"Can you... Can you hug me?"

When you saw hesitation on her face, you quickly added. "Sorry, I know it's not professional-"

But you were suddenly stopped when Basil's arms snaked around you with the slightest pressure. It had been awhile since you felt warmth from anyone and it made you treasure the feeling while it lasted. At least, the simple action stopped you from crying any further and it made you relax a bit.

"Thank you," you said as she finally pulled away.

"We can talk about something else, if you like," she replied as she took back her seat.

"No, it's okay... I'd like to continue..."

You let out a heavy sigh as you played with the hem of your shirt. "I... I broke up with Wanda."

Basil's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I thought it was only an act for your father's sake."

You forced a weak smile as you avoided her eyes. "At first, it was... But then..."

Wanda didn't answer any of your calls after that outrageous incident with your father. She continued ignoring you around the university. Even your friends and hers had began to notice but they kept to themselves, not sure whether they would intervene.

That was when you bumped into Monica in the library as you went to borrow some books to study for the coming exams. You weren't even sure how you could pass them when all you could think about was your girlfriend.

"Y/n, how have you been?" she greeted you. You just lied you were okay even when you weren't. You were too weak to start a conversation.

"I heard about your breakup with Wanda," Monica went on. "I'm so sorry..."

"What?" Your eyes immediately widened. Suddenly, the crack in your heart broke into perfect halves.

It looked like Monica was caught in a surprise. "I thought at first it wasn't true, but then I saw her with some girl last night at Pearl's."

And the halves shattered into smaller pieces.

Pearl's was a known college bar near the university. You had been there once with your friends but never went again.

The revelation was what led you to corner Wanda when you found her by the hallway before she could enter her next class.

Upon seeing you, she complained, irritation evident in her voice, "Y/n, the professor will be here any second-"

"Where were you last night?" You couldn't believe you'd be in this kind of predicament you had only seen on exaggerating films.

"I was drinking," she immediately replied then let out a tired sigh as she massaged her head. She may be suffering from a hangover. "Can we just talk later?"

"With who?"

She scoffed, narrowing her eyes at you. "Why do you even care? As far as I can remember, you broke up with me," she snapped.

You grimaced at the tone of her voice. "I didn't, Wanda-"

"Well, at least your dad has the decency to tell me, even when it was only meant for my ears to hear..."

"Wanda..." But you stopped, not because the professor of their class just entered the room. Your jaw clenched so hard when you saw a faint red mark on the redhead's shoulder near her neck the second the fabric of her sweater slipped a bit lower as she straightened the strap of her backpack.

"Look, the class is gonna start," she interrupted, noticing your abrupt silence. "Let's just talk about it later, okay?"

"Did something else happen last night?" you found yourself asking, voice sounding already empty as if all hope had run out of you.

"What? I told you I was just drinking... you lied to me, Y/n... You agreed to break up with me as ordered by your father... How does that make me feel?"

"So you moved on with someone new, then," you finished for her, swallowing hard as hurt and sadness completely filled you.

"There's no one else, Y/n-"

"Well, your neck says different," was the last thing you said before you turned around and left the redhead.

Suddenly, your vision turned so blurry that it was a mystery how you had still managed to walk amidst the tears brimming around your eyes. You didn't expect Wanda to run after you as you reached the staircase. But the redhead did.

She looked so guilty as she spun you around, avoiding the hurdles of students passing by the hallway. "Y/n, nothing happened, I swear... I didn't even know that she... she-"

But you tugged your hand successfully from her grasp, your feet instinctively dragging you away from the source of the pain coursing through your entire body.

"Y/n, please believe me...," she went on explaining, climbing down the stairs as the two of you headed out of the building. "I got so drunk... Maybe, I fell asleep for a bit, I don't know... But I immediately woke up when I felt someone kissing me... That's when I called Maria to pick me up..."

Tears escaped from your eyes as you continued to ignore her, never believing a single word she said.

"Y/n, please..." Wanda followed right behind you, unknowingly ditching her class. You had already reached the grounds, but when you heard shoes kicking against the dirt behind you, you knew the redhead hadn't given up.

What she said next might have as well killed you if not already.

"Y/n... I love you." It was a declaration, no stutter, not even any sign of hesitation. As if it was Wanda's last resort. Her weapon. The one thing you knew you would cave in.

Your heart suddenly ached for her, urging you to stop walking and take her back into your arms. But then you remembered your fragile heart was already broken, pieces scattered all over the floor as you tiptoed your way through them so as not to render any more damage.

"I didn't do anything, I swear, Y/n...," her voice slurred on as you reached the building of your dorm. "I was just mad because of your dad. But I wouldn't do that to you... I wouldn't cheat on you. Not in any lifetime.. Not in any universe... I love you, Y/n.... I love you so much."

Suddenly, the words no longer brought the same feeling the first time she said those to you. Words are just merely words.

What did you expect?  Wanda's always the female version of a fuckboy. And nothing would change.

You knew exactly how this would end.

Yet it still hurt.

Chapter Text

Everything reminded you of Wanda. Everywhere you went. Every sound you heard. Every song you listened to. Every picturesque place you saw. You missed every single thing about her. Even the littlest of things, such as the tiny snores she made when she fell asleep first or the way she would tuck a strand of your hair over your ear to get it out of the way when you were reading a book.

From the time you woke up to the time you slept, the redhead would still be there. Even in your dreams. Or nightmares of her making out with that girl or even more. Sometimes, you wouldn't have nightmares at all because you couldn't get yourself to sleep.

Your sheets and pillows still smelled of her that sometimes, you found yourself hugging them, imagining that you were hugging her, imagining that everything was still okay, that you and Wanda were still okay.

How do people recover from this if they were in your shoes? Do they forgive the sinner? And if they did, do they forget what the sinner did and live on happy together?

You wanted to forgive Wanda. You did. Especially when she didn't stop apologizing. Countless texts, missed calls, flowers, cupcakes, letters that she slipped through your door or through your friends, sticky notes on your books, and many more. She had always cornered you when you went to your classes or after you finished your shift at Loki's store. She even slipped some messages through your co-worker Carol, whom she had befriended as well.

But every single time the words 'I forgive you' were already at the tip of your tongue, you'd remember the cheating image of Wanda and how she got the hickey that was literally gone now.

When your friends found out, they didn't leave you alone. Even Pepper offered to sleep in your dorm room some nights when you couldn't bear it.

"Did I overreact?" you found yourself asking Pepper one night when she slept over. "Should I forgive Wanda?"

You and your friend were laying on the bed, your back at her. You heard shuffling behind you and a soft sigh. Turning to face Pepper, you saw her staring blankly ahead at the ceiling.

"Do you think she's telling the truth?" you whispered, going on. "That she was just too drunk and she didn't know what the girl was doing?"

Her eyes then met mine before she spoke. "You didn't overreact, Y/n... You... You had a right to feel these things. She cheated on you... You did the right thing, actually..."

"But I missed her," you gasped, eyes suddenly began teary. So you faced the ceiling instead and blinked your eyes repeatedly to stop the offending liquid from falling. "So much..."

You felt Pepper's arm wrapped around your waist as she laid her head near your shoulder. "I know... I've been through this too..."

What she said made you stop thinking. "What... What do you mean?"

Pepper let out another sigh before she went on. "Tony and I broke up."

Pulling away from the woman, you straightened to a sit on the bed after switching the bed lamp on. Dim light bursted through the entire room and you could make out your friend's somewhat reddish eyes beside you.

"Are you-"

"I'm not joking, Y/n," she interjected as she sat up.

"What? When? Why?" So many questions filled your head, making you realize how bad of a friend you were.

"Well, my parents wanted me to study at a review center a state away... And I thought Tony was okay with it..." Pepper stopped for a second before she exploded in tears, shoulders wracking as she sobbed. Your arms went to slither around her trembling figure, hugging her tight to let her know you were there for her. "He cheated on me, Y/n..."

Tony did? You couldn't believe he could actually do that. You thought they would still be together after college, get married eventually and have kids. Apparently, you were wrong. Just like with Wanda.

"How?"

Pepper finally calmed down as you rubbed gentle soothing patterns on her arms. "Turned out he couldn't handle the long distance, got so drunk, he woke up naked with a naked woman on his bed... I was the one who woke them up, actually... It was all hell after that... It happened before the semester started..."

It didn't make any sense. "But you were still-"

"We're pretending for you and Peter's sake, we couldn't tell you. Not at that time anyway."

"I'm so sorry," you murmured into her hair. "I've been a bad friend... I should have been there for you..."

"It's okay, Y/n," she answered. "You were going through some stuff too... And you were friends with him first."

"I could have been better," you let out as you hugged your friend tighter. And Pepper held you as well.

So that was it. You had lost all hope there was that anything good will last.

"And why's that?" Basil's voice broke you out from your reverie. Suddenly, you were back at the mental institution. But you were now in her office, instead of your dorm room. This had been the third day since you started sharing about your past.

You shrugged your shoulders. "I don't know... Tony and Pepper were like the perfect couple... And with them separated, it's like the end of something good."

The bespectacled dark-haired woman stared at you for a few seconds before talking, her glasses hanging by the crook of her nose. "What about you and Wanda? Aren't you the perfect couple too?"

You snickered lightly. "Well, my friends certainly had been sugarcoating the way they saw us at times... What a shame I'm fucked in the head..."

A knock on the door broke the moment. It was slightly opened so the head slipped through the gap. "Sorry for interrupting," he said. It was Asparagus, one of the cooks around the place. "I would just like to announce that dinner is being served at the cafeteria."

It made you look at the wall clock to confirm that you had taken almost half an hour over the time alloted for your session. So Basil immediately ended it, advising to continue tomorrow instead. She probably could see the hesitation on your face because you wanted to finish your story. You couldn't handle waiting for a couple more hours. But you stood up and nodded, mentally telling yourself you could do it.

There was a 10pm curfew for all of the patients, so you were stuck pacing around your room, getting yourself tired to fall asleep. But you couldn't.

You might as well be talking to yourself, muttering breathless words as if you were still talking to Basil. "It was my fault."

Maybe, you were going crazy. Maybe, you should have taken the sleeping pill during dinner so it would immediately take effect now.

"It was my fault," you whispered through the silent night. You bit through your finger nails and when your teeth made contact with your skin, cutting through it, you hissed as you sucked the blood coming out. You then ran your hands through your hair as you crouched down on the floor, rocking yourself as you continued on blabbing how it was your fault you were there in the first place.

Wanda had sent you a copy of the clip from Pearl's cctv. Of course, you didn't watch it, you didn't even read any of her messages that you had ignored weeks after you saw the damn hickey.

Until one sad night where you spent your whole time crying in your dorm room, bingewatching series on your laptop while eating a tub of ice cream because Pepper was away for a group study and you couldn't get to sleep. Suddenly, the funny scenes in the series were trying hard to be funny.

You guessed that's what would happen when you broke up with someone. It would suck out all the happiness in you until there's barely anything left.

When you finally watched the clip Wanda sent, you felt your soul being drained from your body.

There the redhead was, drinking alone at an empty table at Pearl's with the date and time stamp on the upper right portion. She looked so sad and troubled, almost crying, so it would seem like the good opportunity for the woman across the bar staring at her for too long to approach at times of her vulnerability. The woman even bought Wanda drinks, and they talked for hours, even though Wanda only opened her mouth a few times. Of course, she was the one who got drunk first.

Like what Wanda had explained to you, she fell asleep on her seat, head throwing back at the top of the chair to rest. The action gave access to the woman who immediately latched her mouth on her exposed skin, your stomach lurching insane at the scene. It took the redhead almost a minute before she woke up and realized what the girl was doing, pushing her away as she scrambled off the seat, pulling her phone from her pocket, probably calling Maria as she drunkenly made her way to the exit.

She wasn't lying after all.

Wanda didn't cheat on you. It was all overthinking and jealousy making its way to your brain that just consideration was gone. The sound of a new message coming in from the redhead made you straighten on the bed.

I'm currently here at The Spot if you want to talk... I'll be waiting for you.

It turned out she had always waited for you there at The Falafel Spot, the name of the food truck that served Middle Eastern food, where you had your first date. Countless nights that you didn't go because you wouldn't hear her out, stubbornness flowing through your veins.

A single hot tear streamed down your cheek as your eyes immediately widened.

"It was my fault," you gasped as you stood up from the floor of your room in the facility. As if a spirit went through your body, you immediately dashed out of the room and made your way towards Basil's office.

The night guard Dill found you lurking at the hallways, shouting at you to stop while asking where you were heading during sleeping hours.

Upon reaching the hallway where her office was located, Dill was able to catch up with you.

"It was my fault," you said to him, making the guard so confused, he tugged you back when he caught your wrist.

"You must be in bed," he ordered.

"But I must finish the story," you complained exasperatedly. "It was my fault!"

"What's happening here?" Basil asked from her door. Apparently, she hadn't left her office yet.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, she shouldn't be out here-"

"It's okay," she answered when her eyes met yours, walking towards you. "She's my patient... I'll take her from here."

When Dill finally let you go and you followed Basil into her office, she immediately opened her mouth to speak. "What are you doing still up, Y/n? You must be sleeping at this hour-"

"I must finish the story," was all you could utter.

"Did you take the sleeping pill? It could help you-"

You nodded. "It's not working... I couldn't sleep."

Basil let out a sigh as she leaned the back of her waist against her desk. "I will ask the doctor tomorrow to add more dosage."

"It was my fault," you suddenly blurted out, ignoring her advice.

"What?"

"It was my fault," you admitted, almost crying. "It has always been my fault."

"Y/n, calm down, okay?" she said, urging you to take a seat, but you were fidgety.

"It was my fault."

It was certainly your fault. The moment you arrived at the spot where Wanda had agreed to wait for you, you thought everything would be finally okay. She didn't cheat and she had truly loved you.

It was already so late, that the food truck was already closed, and few people were present walking by the park. The redhead was staring at the ground, kicking pebbles every now and then, her hands inside her coat. Waiting.

She was so sad and hopeless, probably expecting you not to come at all. Just like every night she waited.

But you were there. You were finally there. For her. To accept her once again.

It took Wanda a couple of minutes before she looked up on instinct and caught you standing across the street, staring at her. You were immobile since you didn't know if she had changed because you were too stubborn to believe her. But when you saw a wide smile appearing on her face, you knew then that she hadn't. That she had loved you still.

"You came!" she shouted, the empty street in between made the wind carry her voice towards you.

You mirrored her smile as your eyes betrayed you. And when Wanda was about to cross the street, a speeding car unexpectedly made its way on the previously empty road and hit her.

"It was my fault!" you shrieked, exploding into tears in your therapist's office. "It was my fault!"

"Y/n," Basil called out to you and when she was unsuccessful to calm you down, thrashing against her arms, she immediately headed towards her phone, probably calling some staff to help her with you.

But you were then consumed back to what happened. It felt like you died on the spot when you saw the redhead's body being thrown from the impact. Suddenly, everything didn't make sense anymore.

Love slipped beyond your reaches.

It was all a blur.

You remembered running to where her body was laying. You remembered the blood surrounding her body as you looked down at her. You remembered holding her bloody hand in the back of the ambulance, praying for her not to give up on you. You remembered being pulled away by the nurses as she was dragged into the operating room with the doctors beside her. You remembered seeing her through the door and how the consistent stuttering rise and fall from Wanda's heart rate monitor turned into a flat sound. You remembered the staff panicking as they used the defibrillator on her. You remembered breaking down and crying because it was your fault. It was all your fault.

You made your way outside of the hospital as you slowly losed control of reality. Your hand immediately went to pull your phone from your pocket and dialed your own father. It was late at night, which explained the sleepy groggy voice of your dad as he answered.

"Y/n?"

"It was my fault," you said, crying into the mic.

"Y/n? What's wrong? What happened?"

"It was my fault, dad," you went on, your body shaking as you cried into the silent cold night.

"Where are you?"

"I killed mom," you admitted, tears kept on flowing down your face. "Mom and I got into an argument at the mall before it happened... I was so stubborn and acting like a brat.."

You heard your dad asking Jane how to locate your phone ID's GPS location.

"It was so petty of me but I ran away from her the moment we got out of the mall..." You took a quick pause as you heavily inhaled. "If it wasn't because of me, she wouldn't have followed me, dad..."

"Stay where you are, Y/n," your dad said through the speakers, some shuffling in the background.

"If I only behaved, mom would still be here," you continued as you walked aimlessly towards the street. "If I just stayed, she wouldn't have been hit by the car... She wouldn't be dead."

"Y/n, we're coming to get you, stay where you are, don't go anywhere," your dad ordered, hearing wheels screeching from the other line.

"Mother's dead because of me," you said, voice breaking. The image of your bloody mother flashed quickly at the front of your brain.

"No, Y/n-"

Then Wanda's lifeless body followed. "Now, Wanda's dead because of me," you gasped, making you let go of your phone. Your phone shattered from the impact.

Suddenly, a flash of light and horns blaring made you look up from the ground, an incoming truck heading your way. As it turned out, you had unknowingly walked yourself to the middle of the road during the call.

The driver of the truck had managed to hit the brakes just a couple of inches away from your frozen body. But even when you were unscathed, you found yourself suddenly tired as you collapsed on the asphalt, letting the darkness consume you until there was nothing left.

Red hair. Green eyes.

Chapter Text

"Would you still love me even if I was a worm?"

Your eyebrows furrowed as you stared at your girlfriend, her silly side coming out one lazy Sunday afternoon when you both woke up from a power nap. You and Wanda were laying on your bed in your dorm room, side by side as you faced each other, taking advantage of the rainy weather outside as you surrounded yourselves with layers of blankets. Hollie Col's Please Don't Love Someone was playing in the background.

Red hair splayed all over the pillow under Wanda's head, creating a magnificent masterpiece before you. She was always a beautiful sight.

"Seriously?" you asked in disbelief, snickering when the redhead's grin only widened. "A worm?"

Wanda nodded. "Yep."

You gently brushed a strand of her hair from her face before you responded. "Where have you read this stuff, huh?"

Wanda only chuckled before you. "Come on, just answer the question, baby... Would you still love me?"

You shook your head as you laughed, making the redhead laugh out louder. "Of course, I'd love you..."

"Really?" Her eyes only widened, the emerald orbs shining with utter happiness. "Even when you couldn't see me because I'm so tiny? What if I get lost? Or get eaten by something huge like a bird?"

Your heart elated with joy seeing the inner child within the redhead. "Then I'd protect you... I'd put you in a container-"

"You'd imprison me?" Wanda slapped your arm playfully.

"Hey, it's for your own protection," you quickled added.

"How dare you?" She feigned offense, followed by uncontrollable giggles.

"Plus, it's not going to be a prison," you explained. "I'd build you your own tiny palace... There'd be dirt around it, of course. The soil would be like your own personal pool... And it would be so spacious... It would also have a roof so it would protect you from any harm..."

Wanda smiled at your response, leaning forward as she placed a kiss on the tip of your nose. You then softly brushed your nose against hers, skins grazing each other igniting a flame of want. And before you could capture her lips, she pulled away. "What if I'm a bear?"

You snorted as you cupped her cheek. "Now that's a different case..."

"Would you still love me though?" she insisted to ask, biting her lower lip to stop from grinning so wide.

"C'mon, that doesn't make any sense at all," you complained. "You know there's a hundred percent chance you'd kill me first before I could get near you..."

Wanda laughed at that, the creases around her eyes more prominent, making her more beautiful. When the laughter died down eventually, comfortable silence followed as you found her gaze drifting from your eyes down to your mouth.

"What if you'd forget about me," she started, her voice so small you thought she could have been just whispering. "And I told you I was your girlfriend, would you believe me?"

Your expression softened as you smiled at her. "I'm pretty sure I wouldn't believe how lucky I was for landing someone like you."

Wanda's smile was wider than yours as she linked your fingers together, before saying, "Don't worry, I'd make you fall in love with me again."

You suddenly woke up with a start on your own bed in the mental facility, the blanket wrapped around you falling on your lap as you sat.

Your eyes caught Kiwi and Peach playing board games on the floor beside your bed. Upon noticing you fully awake, they cautiously stood up and looked at you as if terrified you were going to murder someone. Are they suddenly scared of you?

Peach was the one who finally broke the silence. "I'm gonna tell them you're awake."

The moment she left the room, you turned to look at Kiwi who had his hands tucked nervously in the back of his pants.

"What happened?" you groggily asked, rubbing your eyes as you did.

He licked his lips before stuttering a reply. "You... Y-You attempted to cut your..." His voice faltered as he made a gesture with his right hand slicing through his left wrist.

You only frowned at him before looking down on your own wrist. A faint fresh cut was visible on the skin just near your palm, too small to be stitched, as if you were abruptly stopped before you could do anything. Upon seeing the small wound, you immediately felt the sting coming from it.

Suddenly, you remembered what happened that night you broke down and lost it. You accidentally broke the flower vase in Basil's office as you thrashed around the place uncontrollably, the shards of glass on the floor taunting you to end your suffering.

"Basil was able to stop you though, and Dill," Kiwi brought you back to the present. "You know it's not your fault, right? Whatever it is you're going through..."

You were about to reply but Peach barged  back into the room, followed by your Doctor Oca. You gulped guiltily, because Oca would only be called during emergencies.  And you didn't want him to see you as one of his failed patients.

He did the necessary checkup questions about what you were feeling. It took almost half an hour before you were finally let go, advising you to meet him after lunch for the newly prescribed medicines you'd be soon taking. Great. You'd never get out of this place.

Your friends were nice enough not to talk about the incident, starting a conversation instead about the movie night happening later that evening and how Peach was able to convince the staff to consider one of your favorite movies, Interstellar, making you think for a while as you munched your food when you had shared said information about you.

After lunchtime, as you walked along the empty corridors heading towards your doctor Oca's office, you almost stumble down when you felt tiny arms hugging around your legs, preventing you to move. Turning behind you, the culprit was a young girl around five or six years old. You smiled. "Are you lost, kid?"

But the girl only hugged you tighter, not releasing you from her hold as she buried her face and cried, making you confused.

An older man wearing a cap came running towards you, a boy following his heels.

"I'm sorry about her," he apologized upon reaching the two of you, finally managing to untangle the girl from your body. "She mistakes people sometimes..."

"It's okay... Are they your kids?" You made small talk.

He smiled at you warmly and chuckled, ruffling the hairs of the two kids beside him. "Yes, we're just visiting someone here today..."

You frowned. "Wait, you were that guy who I bumped into last week near the lounge area-"

"You remembered..," he gasped cheerfully, as if it was a wonderful thing in the world.

"Of course, I would." You immediately wondered why he sounded so happy about it.

"Well, I don't want to take your time," you hurriedly added, as you began turning away from him. "I'm also meeting someone."

He grinned at you as he waved goodbye, the boy and girl also waving back at you. At least, they weren't hiding behind him anymore.

"How did you find the meatloaf that was served at the cafeteria earlier?" Oca asked before you.

"It was good," you answered, although your face said different. "Although, I preferred the Chicken Paprikash Asparagus cooks."

He chuckled softly, agreeing. "Amen to that... My wife couldn't perfect his recipe even after numerous tries."

You were now sitting in his office, your knee jumping restlessly before you as your fingers played with the loose threads on the hem of your shirt. The doctor was browsing through the files on his desk as you kept on glancing at the wall clock on your right.

Oca must have noticed your uneasiness so he decided to cut to the chase.

"Do you remember what happened last night?" Oca asked, leaning his back against his chair as he looked at you.

You swallowed a lump in your throat. "I-I guess I l-lost control."

"Why is that?"

"I...," you hesitantly uttered, shaking your head as your eyes focused on the chipped paint on his desk instead just to avoid his gaze. "The memories... about my past... it's... it's overwhelming and... there's just so much pain... I-I just want it to stop.."

Oca finally took mercy as he let out a heavy sigh, nodding your way.

"I know a young girl once..," he began after forcing a cough. "She was a patient of mine years ago... She probably doesn't remember anything about it now... But when her mother died from a car accident, the girl blamed herself so much she literally lost her mind, her entire being taken away from reality... As simple as that... She couldn't even remember her friends or her family even when she could remember everything."

It made you meet his eyes, brows furrowed as you intently listened. "What do you mean?"

"At first, we diagnosed her as someone who had Dissociative Amnesia... It happens when a person's brain blocks out specific events, often caused by stress or trauma, making the person forget some important details about himself."

You only fell silent as you processed his words. Oca went on. "But when we started the therapy, we realized the girl could remember some details... except the subjects' appearances... Through time, we figured out that it's a face-selective memory disorder, or technically known as Prosopamnesia..."

"Did she... Did she heal?" You were scared to ask, it was as if he was beginning to believe you wouldn't be cured.

"She did...," he finally replied. "It took us about six months to finally get her to remember... and she went back to her daily life after that, went to highschool, to prom... She even made it to college..."

"That's cool... you must be good then."

He let out another sigh. "The only thing that worked was for her to face the issue. To not be scared. But I don't know if it's different now..."

"What do you mean? She isn't cured?"

Oca straightened on his seat as he leaned his elbows against the desk. "Y/n, do you ever wonder why your friends and family do not visit you?"

You raised your eyebrows, figuring this might be a trick question. "I... I thought it's part of the healing process.. I.. I also cannot handle them seeing me like this anyway."

"Like what?"

"Like a mentally unstable person... An insane one-"

"You're not," he defended, making you scoff.

"The wound on my wrist even proves it," you said as you lifted yours.

"You just had a bad day, that's all. Maybe it was a lot... especially since Basil's methods were different than Kale's. I mean, Kale couldn't even manage to have you open up about what truly happened-"

"But nothing's changed," you interjected.

"We're not giving up on you, Y/n, if that's what you're worried about..."

Suddenly, the room felt so cramped, suffocating you slowly until you could no longer breathe. "I..."

"What is it?"

You chanced to ask, "I just want... to know... if Wanda's.. if Wanda's-

"Wanda's alive and well, Y/n...," Oca answered, smiling.

An air of relief immediately flooded through you, enabling you to inhale.

"However," he added, not looking you in the eyes as he opened the drawers of his desk. "You cannot see her yet though, if you're not fully cured..."

The heavy weight on your shoulders came back. "Does she hate me then?"

"Of course she doesn't, why would you think of that?"

"I.. I almost killed her," you explained. "And she... she hasn't even visited me once... even my so-called friends..."

Then Oca slipped a piece of card on the table towards you.

"What's this?" you curiously asked after picking it up. It was a photo of you, Kiwi, Peach and Fig in a cafeteria that wasn't the facility's. You didn't remember ever taking the picture but you looked certainly happy in it, as if you weren't fucked up at all. When you flipped the photo, the back had a message Get well soon, Y/n! with a familiar name written after it. Your friend Peter.

"Did Peter visit?" you immediately asked, sitting up straight. "Is he here? Why does he have a picture of my friends here? Does he know them?"

A deep frown grew on the doctor's face before he finally took the picture from you. He looked defeated, as if he had failed you as much as you had failed him.

Basil abruptly appeared through the door, looking troubled as if she had just arrived late. "Sorry I.. I thought you haven't started." Then her gaze fell on you. "You're awake."

"Basil, Basil," Oca called out, smiling wide, breaking the brunette's stunned state. "Just the one I wanted to talk to.. Y/n, you may now go to your room. The meds will be delivered to you shortly by Basil... It will make you drowsy afterwards. Maybe, you can take a nap..."

"Okay," you nodded, giving up. But you couldn't avoid meeting Basil's eyes as she followed your movements until you had finally exited the office.

When you got comfortable on your bed minutes later, someone softly knocked on your door, Basil's face peering through.

"Hey," she greeted, entering the room with a tray of medicines in her hand. "Sorry to bother you, I'll be giving you your meds."

You sat up on the edge of your bed and apologized. "I'm..  I'm so sorry about what I did last night..."

"You don't need to feel sorry about it... It's my job to look after you...," she answered, looking through the slips pressed by tiny cups containing your tablets on the tray. "I'm just glad you're okay now."

When you took the tablets she handed to you and drank almost immediately, it took you a moment to notice the close proximity between you and Basil, making you realize that she had the greenest eyes you had ever seen underneath those spectacles she wore.

When she forced a cough your way, you blinked, pulling your gaze away from her. "Am I... Am I gonna get better?"

"You will...," she assured you, squeezing your trembling hand. "I won't give up on you, Y/n... I promise you that." She then helped you lay down on your bed, after you mentioned how fast the medicines' effects were because you were suddenly feeling tired. Somehow, her chuckle at your words warmed your heart.

"I miss her..," you muttered softly as she arranged the pillow on your head.

"Mm?"

"Wanda...," you clarified, voice weakening as you started to feel drowsy. "I miss her."

"I'm sure she misses you just as much..."

Your eyes were beginning to droop close, the light from your room passing through your eyelids.

You murmured, "I wanna get better..."

"You can do that," Basil replied. You felt her hand on your shoulder. "You'll get better, Y/n."

"I wanna get better for Wanda...," you went on, words slurring from your mouth like a drunkard's. "I... I l-love her so much..."

You heard Basil's soft voice reaching your ears, and if you would just listen closely and carefully, you could hear her sniffling.

"I know," she said.

But before you were finally consumed into deep slumber, you swore you weren't dreaming yet when you felt Basil's lips press against the tip of your nose.

Chapter Text

Thank you so much for all of your wonderful comments, reviews and messages. I really appreciate all of them. I always enjoy writing for you guys.

I hope you don't mind this promotion page though, even when I have promoted this before.

My WayHaught-inspired ebook "Blind Date Gone Wrong" is now available at Beebly PH app.

You can download the app via Apple App store or The Google Play Store, then create an account.

If you guys want to support me, you can purchase and read the ebook thru said app by searching my author name "loggiepj" on it.

Again, thank you so much for your continued support. ❤