Archive of Our Own ^beta

Contrary to belief, even blind, Ichigo's world has never been dark. Not really.

He's always been able to...push? brush? against things with his senses to compensate for his lack of sight. So he's always had an easy time navigating in a world he couldn't see. Knows that that alone creeps people out, even more so when he can tell exactly who is coming up to him after meeting them once.

It's unusual of course but eventually, people chalk it up to just be another unique oddity of one Kurosaki Ichigo.

People (ie. the local yakuza goons) tended to pick a fight with him regardless of this simple fact. They seem to think he's an easy target, which is not true at all. It's what they get, now forced to live with the shame that a teen who couldn't see, effectively beat them into the ground with minimal effort on his part. (Plus, it always amuses him to let these sort of idiots think they have the upper hand.)

"I can feel others intent," he answers to the questioning gaze settled on him from the taller boy who's started to follow him around after beating up those six wannabe thugs a few days prior.

It's a partial truth, at least.

The other boy, Yatsutora Sado,  doesn't seem surprised at that. Not in the way others do when Ichigo gets a good enough read on them.

There's a hum in response and Ichigo smirks playfully, dull brown eyes peering from beneath shaggy, orange locks. "I'm gonna call you Chad."

A huff of laughter and then... "You remind me of my Abuela." His voice is soft and deep. A gentle giant, Ichigo can't help but think.

"Oh?"

"Blind and still kicking ass."

Ichigo throws his head back and laughs. It's the first true one in awhile. For someone besides his sisters at least.

Chad becomes his shadow after that. Fights beside him when Ichigo finds himself in yet another tussle, all of his own doing without him even asking. Ichigo doesn't mind. It's nice to have another friend who accepts him as he is and doesn't treat him special or anything of the sort for a sense he's never had.

Plus, the twins like him once Ichigo decides it's time for the three to meet. Just another person besides Tatsuki to look after the girls just in case Ichigo can't.

And then a strange girl enters his life not long after and everything changes.

"You use reiatsu to see your way around, don't you, Kurosaki-san?" is what makes Ichigo pause before he can trail after Rukia from this shop she's taken them to.

Something brushes against his senses that causes Zangetsu to snarl viciously in the back of Ichigo's mind. The reiatsu is a light press against his own, like fingers poking something curious and new.

Ichigo hums as he turns to where the source is from. Knows it to belong to the shopkeeper.

Urahara Kisuke.

Before, Ichigo had barely been able sense the man, like he was trying to hide, and the only reason Ichigo could sense him was because of the reiatsu that was in any living being, be it human or otherwise. Only now does Urahara seem a miniscule less guarded than before at his new discovery. At Ichigo.

Ichigo pokes back a little more roughly than the shopkeeper and gets a huff of breath for the effort. It sounds startled.

CuriousSurpriseAmusementWonderGuilt

"You noticed fast," Ichigo replies easily. No point in denying it. Not when it's a fact. When it seems like this guy could spot a lie a mile away, much less have dozens of his own ready to go.

He doesn't switch to a defensive position as he feels the other move. Gets the sense that Urahara is grabbing something, confirmed by Tensa's soft murmuring. Plus, Urahara, in this moment, is projecting that he's harmless.

(Which Ichigo firmly believes is bullshit because there is no hiding that sort of blood lust but whatever. Not his business what the man does in his own time.)

Zangetsu is still snarling.

There's a sound of something falling open and then the feel of a slight gust of air. (A dumb fan in front of  his dumbass face. Not like you can see it anyways, Zangetsu grumbles, hackles barely lowering.) "Kuchiki-san hasn't noticed yet?" the shopkeeper asks, amusement coloring his tone and reiatsu.

Ichigo can't help how his mouth twitches up into a smirk. "I have a betting pool going on that I aim to win."

It's actually hilarious that Rukia hasn't noticed yet, if only because everyone else around him doesn't make a big deal of it nor wants to be the one to point it out. If they do, they'll lose the small but growing pile of yen and Yuzu's special cookies that Ichigo would physically fight someone over because they're made so rarely. (Which he has done so. More than once. With Tatsuki.)

Urahara hums but Ichigo can tell that he's smiling in the way his reiatsu shifts, subtle it may be to anyone that wasn't looking for it. "Best of luck then, Kurosaki-san."

Ichigo takes the hint as that prodding reiatsu disappears into almost nothing again. Even so, Ichigo feels that studious gaze on his back as he takes his leave, hearing Rukia yelling for him to hurry up. "See ya around, Getaboshi."

The teen smirks as he feels that surprise surge up once more.

The truth is this: Ichigo has long since known what reiatsu and reiryoku and whatnot has been.

Of Shinigami and Hollows and Quincy.

Of Zanpakutos; the two voices he's been aware of in his head for as long as he can remember.

Tales from his mother that he hadn't really understood at the time, whispered to him in the quiet of the twins' nursery as they slept when Isshin was busy working at the clinic. How Ichigo is unique.

How his Zanpakuto had made themselves known the night his mother died, when Ichigo found himself in the depths of despair and guilt and covered in his mother's blood. (He couldn't protect her. He should have.)

Of him, small and vulnerable and frightened and lost now that the center of his world was gone, being comforted by these two beings in their own way, now finally given a physical form.

The only comfort he received after the funeral.

Of the white one - Zangetsu, he learns not long after, the name slipping from his tongue like he's always known it - with his black horned helm and long white hair, curling his large white tail around the young Ichigo in a show of silent comfort even as he grumbled the whole time. The other - Tensa, his Quincy aspect - a silent shadow and a soothing hand atop his head, repeating those tales as truth that his mom had once told; a way to distract from the pain of loss, even briefly.

Ichigo knows even without Tensa's cautious warnings, ones his mom had once stated, to keep his mouth shut on such things. That him knowing the truth would bring up too many questions that he had no desire to answer. Would bring about unwanted attention. Bring attention from them.

(From Isshin, who still believed Ichigo to be ignorant of just who his parents are. Something he didn't ever feel like correcting for a man he has no love for.)

A secret he as well as the twins have kept close. Because unlike Isshin, Ichigo would not let his sisters be ignorant of their heritage nor of whom mom once was now that he knows the truth of who - what - he is.

But Urahara is now aware of how Ichigo moves effortlessly through the world without aide, discovering this fact in just a few short minutes of meeting. When even Rukia still remained oblivious to how Ichigo got around in his daily life.

He has a feeling that Urahara knows more about Ichigo than he lets on. May even have an inkling about the truth of him. That he's not completely human. And Ichigo simply...ignores it. After all, the man has no ill will towards him. Just a lot of curiosity and wonder.

And guilt.

Even so, Ichigo gets the sense that Urahara won't speak a word of this discovery to anyone.

The man seems like the type to horde secrets anyway.

Secrets like the Hyogoku placed in Rukia's gigai. Or the one about Aizen.

But when it's just them after the others are dropped off at their homes, Ichigo feels that familiar reiatsu unfurl to brush against his own. As usual, it's heavy with guilt but now holds some regret. Then there's sounds of movement and then an almost muffled apology which -

Ichigo was not expecting, honestly. But he reaches out, his reiatsu searching and Tensa taking brief control to guide his hand right onto soft hair on a bowed head.

And that's-

That tells Ichigo a few things. But now is not the time.

A simple pat on the frozen figure's head before Ichigo retreats. "I forgive you."

There's silence as a weighted stare settles upon him and for once, Ichigo finds that he doesn't mind such a thing with Getaboshi. But it's really that simple too because Ichigo knows that Urahara means it. Although, perhaps he should be apologizing to Rukia instead.

Though, chances are low, very low, of that happening so Ichigo says nothing more on the matter.

Neither of them do.

And that's that.

That was most likely where their relationship started to change. Where Getaboshi's curiosity continued to grow when it came to one Kurosaki Ichigo.

Since then, Urahara had talked less circles around Ichigo when something was going on. Had started to reel back that persona bit by bit that he had crafted over the years when it was just the two of them. Would even relinquish his tight hold on his reiatsu to poke and prod at Ichigo's own, who indulged the man with amusement, pressing back against him in a silent battle, that wonder seemingly to never fade from the shopkeeper.

Zangetsu had stopped snarling, instead switching to annoyed sighs and grumbling.

(It was all an act of course. There's no way Ichigo couldn't not hear Zan's mad cackling when the two would spar, a rare occasion that had started to become more frequent.

Frequent if only because the one time where Ichigo had laughed, the sound tinged with Zangetsu's feral delight and pride, was when he had managed to finally cut Urahara, the scent of copper hitting his nose. It only seemed fair, as Ichigo was - and had been - bleeding for some time.

There was a chuckle and Ichigo had been smug for both the hit and a genuine laugh from the man, even if Ichigo did faint at the end.)

Tensa was cool and fond amusement, content with the fact that Ichigo was genuinely happy.

Perhaps that's why it all starts to tumble down.

Ichigo, in his experience, can't stay happy for too long apparently.

Not with the threat of Aizen still there at least.

There's the Arrancar and the Vizards and the invasion into Hueco Mundo. Days and battles bleeding into one another as an unseen timer seems to tick down.

Everything leading up to this pivotal moment, of stopping Aizen once and for all.

Of the sacrifice Ichigo must make despite how his spirits protest it.

But Ichigo would do anything to protect those he cares about and this is no different. Not when all of the realms are at risk. His sisters. His friends. His budding relationship with Getaboshi.

Tensa Zangetsu cries for all three of them. Cries for the First Protector because Ichigo won't.

He hasn't allowed himself that luxury in years.

The cruelest thing about Mugestu is how Ichigo's world explodes into a barrage of colors and brightness.

For just those brief moments, he had a glimpse of a world behind his endless night, even if he was first met with Aizen's face full of terror and rage of his oncoming defeat.

Ichigo watches soundlessly as Aizen is bound and shouting at Urahara before a sudden hush falls as the ex-Captain is sealed away. He catches movement to his left and looks over, blinks behind black bangs as the man steps closer. Ichigo smiles weakly as that familiar reiatsu presses against his own quickly fading one. He stays kneeling as much as he wishes to stand as Urahara nears. He's tired and knows deep in his bones that his time is limited, can see it in the way that his reiatsu turns into black wisps as it leaves his skin and evaporates into the air.

"The world is a lot brighter than I imagined," Ichigo states calmly. He looks around the landscape to take it in, spots the group of people -his friends- a distance away who hesitate to near still, before finally settling on a wide eyed Getaboshi. He's fascinated by how it turns into a different expression just as quickly.

"Ichigo, I-" Urahara cuts himself off, at a loss of words for once at this revelation. (That expression seems...sad. No. More than that, perhaps.)

The teen shakes his head and gives a soft smile, even as he feels dread crawl along his spine, senses dulling and vision starting to go hazy and black at the edges. The back of his mind where his spirits have always resided lies silent. Foreboding. "You've got nothing to apologize for. I made this choice."

Even so, Ichigo is...afraid.

Urahara must sense or see it because suddenly he's closer, his reiatsu flaring and pressing against Ichigo. Like he's trying to wrap him up in a blanket.

The teen releases a shaky exhale because he can barely feel that familiar prodding now, the colors of the world fading even faster to a familiar darkness Ichigo has always known; the dread slithers from along his spine and now squeezes his too fast heart. His hands are being squeezed and Ichigo's not entirely sure if Urahara did it or if he grabbed them just to feel something that wasn't this ever-growing fear.

(It's been so long since he's felt such a thing.)

He knows Getaboshi is saying something but Ichigo doesn't know what because he's suddenly screaming in pain as the last of his reiatsu leaves him. (Ichigo swears that he hears two other voices screaming along with him as they're forcibly ripped from his very soul.

A willing sacrifice shouldn't hurt this much. But why wouldn't it when he's giving up literal parts of himself?)

Oh, Ichigo distantly thinks, even as he keeps screaming in the worst pain he's ever been in, catching one last glimpse of Urahara's face. That's what anguish must look like.

He would be pulled into his inner world of sideways buildings and an unending ocean whenever unconsciousness would befall him, Zan and Tensa there to greet him each time.

For the first time, darkness is all he is aware of, accompanied by eerie silence.

Ichigo hates it because it's not the same darkness as Tensa's coat or of Zangetsu's helm. It's an unknown void that puts him on edge more than Aizen ever did.