Work Text:
i.
You know the one where you call
But you act like you never called me
Bradley’s not sure when it started, this dance he and Hangman have been doing. He’d like to say it started only after the latter saved both him and Mav, but Natasha likes to remind him that’s not the case. ( He’s been pulling your pigtails since he first saw you, Rooster. You’re just too stubborn to admit it. ) Nonetheless, it’s become less of a dance and more of a game of chicken in recent days, and it’s really beginning to drive Rooster insane.
If he were a stronger man, he’d just tell Jake. Put all his cards on the table and get it over with, but he can’t. Not when he’s not sure it isn’t just a game for the other man. Bradley loved too deeply, too much of a romantic for such a heartbreaker like Jake. Got his fathers genes, Uncle Mav says. Most of the time, he cherished being so much like his father, but in instances like this one, his heart was no more than a crutch.
He’d been in the shower when his phone had rung. Said phone was in his room charging, and he has a feeling that Jake had known that would be the case. He had left the Hard Deck about 30 minutes ago, wishing everyone a good night, and tried ignoring the look Jake had sent him from his spot at the pool table on the way out.
Now, he’s staring at the notification sitting on his lockscreen.
Jake Seresin
Missed Call
Trying not to think about it much, Bradley swipes at the notification and brings the phone up to his ear as it starts ringing. It takes a few seconds, the call not connecting until the 4th ring, because of course it does.
Hello?
There’s music playing in the background, and he has a feeling Jake hasn’t even left the Hard Deck yet. That, paired with the innocent and confused tone, makes Bradley roll his eyes. He waits a minute, trying to determine how he wants to play this, when Jake speaks up again. “Rooster?”
The name sounds wrong coming from him at that moment, most of their phone calls being the more intimate parts of their… thing . He still doesn’t grace him with an answer just yet, trying to see if waiting him out will bring some kind of truth out. Instead, “Look, I’d assume you butt dialed me, but I can hear you breathing. Stop being a creep and tell me why you called so I can get back to my evening.”
That part stings just the tiniest bit, and he tries to pretend it doesn’t. Finally, he sighs and tries to keep his tone neutral. “You called me, Jake.” And maybe using the others first name is too open, too exposed for this conversation, but he’s tired, and he’s in… something . (He won’t say love, not yet.)
There’s a hitch of breath on the other line, and he waits. For what, he’s not sure. He’s too smart to allow hope, it’s too soon, and neither of them are ready. It’s almost like he knows what Jake’s going to say before he’s even said it. A simple: “No, I didn’t.” And he can hear the smirk in his voice. “But if you want to talk, Bradshaw, you could just tell me.”
And it’s miniscule, the change from his call sign to his surname, but it’s enough for Bradley to not give up completely. But he knows when to push his limits and when not to, so he just mutters, “Good night, Jake” into the phone and clicks the end button.
Two minutes later, his phone pings, and there’s a new message on his screen.
Jake Seresin
Good night, Bradshaw
ii.
When you're dancing with him, and you're looking at me
Or I'm holding her, and I'm hoping you see
It’s a new night—for once the gang is at some club instead of the Hard Deck—and Bradley is currently deeply regretting his decision to come. Natasha has been chewing him out for the past twenty minutes— grow a pair, and go get him then! —because he decided complaining to her about Jake would be a good idea. But really, she can’t blame him for needing to vent about it. It was bad enough when Jake strolled with Javy in skin tight leather jeans and a button up that was unbuttoned enough to leave nothing to imagination.
Now, the other is dancing with some who had approached them all when they were standing around their booth—and look, props to this guy for approaching the surely intimidating group of theirs—and offered to buy them all a round in exchange for just a dance with Jake himself. (And look, Bradley is bi, not blind. He’s well aware the other man was attractive. Big arms, charming smile, even him being a redhead wasn’t enough of a turn away.)
The blonde had originally seemed hesitant, but with some edging from Payback and Fanboy over free drinks, and a look he’d thrown at Bradley, he’d agreed.
His grip gets even tighter on the glass in his hand as he looks at the two again, taking in the position they’ve found themselves in. Jake’s back is connected to the man’s front, and he’s rolling his hips in a way that makes Rooster almost growl. His head is thrown back on the redhead’s shoulder, exposing a tan strip of his neck that’s become shiny with sweat. The man seems to take notice of the same thing, if the way he brings his mouth down to Jake’s neck and begins placing open mouthed kisses over it is anything to go by. Bradley’s pretty sure he almost breaks the glass as he watches Jake’s eyes fall shut and his mouth fall open.
It’s practically torture, the way redhead’s grip tightens on Jake’s hips. What truly makes him want to claw his eyes out is witnessing, almost in slow motion, as Jake’s eye’s fall back open, only to immediately find his gaze. They both hold eye contact for too long, Jake still grinding his hips back, Bradley taking a pull of his beer. Then, Jake has the audacity to wink at him before turning the man’s arms.
Thankfully, or maybe not if the look in her eyes is saying anything, Nat literally grabs his face to make him look away. Her eyes are rightfully annoyed, as he’s sure she’s been talking this time and he stopped paying attention, and the tiniest bit sympathetic. (He hates that part.) She takes the now warm drink from his hand, placing it on the table in between them. It’s just the two of them at said table, as the others went to dance, and Bob is in the bathroom. “He’s just trying to make you jealous, please tell me you see that.”
And he can, at least a little bit. He knows, theoretically, Jake wants some kind of reaction out of him. He’d seen it in the look he’d given Bradley right before accepting the man's invitation, but he also knows that he’s sick of the one having to make all the big emotional moves.
It’s always him using the first name, always him pulling him off the dance floor to him, always him asking about dinner, and always him getting left in the morning. So he’s done, done putting his heart on his sleeve to only get bullshit back. He opens his mouth to tell Tasha as much, but stops when he sees a girl at the bar looking at him. She’s a curvy blonde, someone who looks like she was in a sorority in college. Her hair is perfectly curled, and her lips are a dark red color. She’s giving him a very long once-over, and when she meets his eyes again she smiles coyly.
(Look, you don’t need to tell him it’s a bad plan, okay? He knows.)
(Natasha does not care.)
Because she knows the second she follows his eyeline what he’s going to do, and immediately opens her mouth to protest. “Do not do what I think you are about to Bradshaw.” Her tone is all warning, and Bradley makes a mental note to take her to breakfast at that one place she likes as an apology for putting up with all his bullshit. He turns to look at her, the new gaze burning his skin. “Why not? He can play games but I can’t? Please, Tasha, give me a reason not to and I’ll leave it alone. Jesus, tell me what we are doing, at this point that would be just as great.”
She sighs, shakes her head, and stands to meet Bob as he makes his way back towards them. She looks at him like he pities him before answering. “You’re being idiots.” Then she turns and grabs Bob’s hand, pulling him to the dance floor with her and not looking back.
And even though he knows she's right, and this will probably end with more hurt than not, he can’t stop himself from getting up and approaching the spot of the bar next to the girl. He takes his time leaning his whole body on the bar by putting his forearms on the countertop, and he doesn’t miss the appreciative look she makes from the corner of his eye. He waves the bartender over, ordering a new beer and a refill for the girl.
She smirks, like she’s the one in control, and he has to swallow the bile that raises in his throat. He doesn’t turn to look at her until after the bartender brings their drinks back, only then giving her his (mostly) undivided attention. Her smirks grows wider, and he raises an eyebrow. “Why do you look like you know something I don’t?”
She shrugs with a faux-innocence and takes a drink from her new glass. After a couple seconds, she sets it back down and crosses one leg over the other. “I know you’re only over here to make that blond jealous. Just like I know he’s currently burning a hole in the side of my head right now.” Bradley tries to subtly look at Jake through the corner of his eye but she grabs his hand and pulls him closer to her, effectively pulling his attention back to her.
She’s chucking under her breath, and he’s even more confused than he was before. She laughs a little bit louder at the look on his face and leans up to whisper in his ear. “You two aren’t subtle, the sexual tension is choking the whole room.” He has to chuckle at that, a mix of embarrassed and shocked a stranger can read the two so clearly. She seems uncaring of the thoughts going through his head, and instead just wraps an arm around his neck before pulling back just enough so the both of them are face-to-face, close enough for him to smell the alcohol on her breath and the vanilla of her perfume.
She’s still smiling knowingly, and he knows she’s going to get him in so much trouble. And yet, he just smirks back and asks, “What are you thinking?”
Silently, she jumps down from her seat at the bar—only then does Rooster realize he towers over the girl—and pulls him along using the hand that’s still connected to hers. He takes her to the side of the club opposite of where his group is sitting. Then, she lightly pushes him into a leather loveseat tucked into the corner of the room. From this angle, his back is to the dance floor and he can’t see Jake, which immediately gets him making a move to get up. Quickly, the girl drops into his lap, her legs caging his thighs in, and grabs his face with both hands.
He grunts, but puts his hands on her thighs instinctively. She smirks, and looks over his shoulder. “Oh god, he’s wishing murder was legal right now.” Bradley does not secretly beam at that statement, instead he moves his hands to her hips and says, “I don’t even know your name.”
This gets her to look at him instead of Jake, and for the first time that night her face isn’t all self-assured and sassy. Instead, it’s a little wishful, and he loosens his grip on her almost immediately. “God, if I wasn’t such a sucker for love I’d say fuck it and be selfish with you.”
Bradley feels bad all over again, hating that he’s brought this woman into their game just because he’s too scared to have an open conversation with Hangman about what he wants. Obviously, she can tell exactly how he’s feeling because she just shakes her head. “Melanie.” Rooster doesn’t voice to her that he feels like her name fits her, doesn’t want to add another blow to the pile.
“We don’t need to keep doing this, I’m sorry I came over in the first place. It wasn’t fair of me, I clearly wasn’t thinking straight.”
She smirks again, all softness lost to her determined bravado. “What’s your name?”
“Bradley.”
“Shut up and kiss me, Bradley.”
It must have been the beer, because for some reason, he does. It isn’t anything special, doesn’t ignite anything in him (not that he thought it would) and honestly he knows it’s just gonna make him feel worse in the morning.
He pulls back to put a stop to it for good this time around, but stops when he sees Tasha and Bob now standing behind Melanie.
Cautiously, he raises the girl from his lap and stands, bringing her with him. He sets her down on her feet once he’s got his footing, and stays by her side purely so she doesn’t fall over after the change.
Natasha opens her mouth, and Bradley wishes more than anything she had gotten to him just a minute sooner, because he knows for all the annoyance she feels with him right now she still would’ve given the whole thing a softer blow then Fanboy did.
It’s right after Melanie turns around to look behind him and lets out a quiet gasp that Payback and Fanboy come running up from behind Bradley and Melanie, obviously trying to reach Tasha and Bob. They’re practically jumping over each other, and Bradley wonders if they saw him from their angle before or if they have no clue what they’re doing when they start talking. “Did you guys see?” Fanboy starts, “Hangman’s leaving with that hot guy from earlier!”
Payback hits his partner on the shoulder and the other pouts, which earns him a kiss on the cheek in apology. He immediately brightens and puts his arm around the other’s waist. Bradley’s certain then they don’t realize he’s there when Payback says, a little disappointedly, “Yeah, but think about Rooster, it’s gonna kill him.”
Bob winces, and the two finally take a moment to look at who they almost ran over in order to get to the Phoenix and her WSO. As expected, both Fanboy and Payback both wince themselves. They open their mouths and begin stuttering out apologies but he just waves them off. It’s not their fault that the two pilots both are too stubborn to let the other in.
He turns just in time to see Jake walk away from Coyote, who Bradley can tell from here is not happy, and grab the redhead’s hand as the latter leads them out of the bar.
Bradley would like to state that he’s very collected as he downs the rest of his beer and walks to the bar to grab another.
iii.
Or the one where you don't kiss me
Then you tell me that you miss me
It’s been two weeks since The Clubbing Incident, and Bradley knows he’s being immature. He hasn’t talked to Hangman since everything that happened, and everyone in the squadron are quick to remind him he’s being stupid.
Even he can recognize he’s being dumb, espically when Hangman tries to approach him after training one day and he flat out turns around and leaves, trying to ignore the flash of hurt on the other’s face.
Now, he’s once again back at his house, trying to ignore the want crawling in his stomach to just text Hangman and apologize for being a dick. He’s had the phone open on the other’s messages for about an hour, the last message: Talk to me, Bradshaw , staring him right in the face. Just as he’s begun typing the same apology message for the 6th time, his doorbell rings.
Groaning because he knows it’s going to be Tasha here to yell at him, again , he pushes himself up and off his bed. He doesn’t want to answer the door, but he knows she’s just going to let herself in if doesn’t. (This is what happened the other day when he decided to test his luck in ignoring her.)
But instead of a snappy brunette woman at his door, there is a pissed off blond. His eyes snap to Bradley’s the second the door is opened, and the latter has half the mind to slam the door back shut and get the hell back in bed. Instead, he sighs and opens the door wider and steps back to let the other in.
He doesn’t wait for him to follow, just makes his way into the kitchen and turns on the coffee pot. There’s a scoff from behind him, followed by his door closing. Rooster doesn’t even get the chance to say a simple ‘sorry’ before Hangman opens his mouth.
“You gonna finally tell me why you’ve been ignoring me for weeks, Roo? Because I swear if this is all over what happened at that club—”
Bradley reels back like he’s been slapped. “Of course this is about that, Seresin! What the hell else would it be about!” He’s turned to look at the other man again, watching as his face hardens even more so than before.
“So what?” He spits, “I dance with some guy and suddenly you’re acting like I don’t exist?”
“That is not all that happened and do not try to act like it is.”
They’re both seething, unable to get the correct words out. Rooster still has his back to the counter, arms crossed in front of him as if it will protect him from everything that’s about to happen.
“No,” Jake states while stepping further in Bradley’s space. “That’s not all that happened. What happened was you got jealous and instead of being reasonable you made out with the first chick you laid eyes on.”
He’s practically stabbing his pointer finger in his chest, and Rooster doesn’t have anywhere to go so he fights back because he doesn’t know what else to do. “Yeah, so? Jealous?”
“Was that the goal, Bradshaw? Make me jealous instead?”
They’re chest-to-chest at this point, the only thing in their way being Bradley’s still crossed arms. It doesn’t stop Jake as he bulldozes on. “Was it?”
There’s venom in his voice now. It makes Bradley want to throw up, the idea that they’ve brought back some of that true darkness to their relationship. Yet he never knows when to quit, never knows when he’s ahead.
He throws his hands up in annoyance while trying not to scream. “Everything’s a game at this point, Bagman. You know that! But congrats, you won this time.”
It’s minimal, but he can see the way Jake deflates just a little bit. “Did I?” And he sounds so unsure that Bradley feels himself losing some of that same fight. “Because I can’t tell if I'm winning or losing anymore.”
Somehow, they’re even closer than before. Jake’s neck is craned just the tiniest bit so he can look Bradley in the eyes, and all of a sudden it feels so much more intimate. Without really thinking about it, he places a hand on the small of the blond’s back, keeping him there.
He relishes in the hitch in breath he gets in return.
Bradley sighs, bringing his forehead down to meet the others. “That’s because neither of us are going to come out on top here Jake, we’re just going to keep hurting each other.”
They don’t speak for a few minutes, just looking at each other, almost like they’re both waiting for the other to say something that means something. (Spoiler alert: they are.) Then, finally, Jake says in just a whisper: “Sometimes I don’t think you want me til I got somebody with me.”
“That could not be any farther from the truth, baby. You have to believe me about that.” The pet name just slips out, but with the way Jake’s eye’s shine, he doesn’t regret it much. “I want you all the time.”
The other shakes his head slightly, not enough to actually move his forehead from its place on his, but enough for him to raise an eyebrow. He sucks in a breath, like he knows what his next statement is going to do. “Then why’d you let me dance with him? Why’d you let me leave with him?”
“ You left with him, Jake. You chose that ending.”
“Yeah, I left with Luke—”
( Luke, his name is Luke. Suddenly he’s more than a bad dream, more than a rip in their multiple page story, he’s a stain. )
“—because you were obviously occupied in other ways.” He’s getting defensive again, trying to pull out of the grip Bradley’s had on him this whole time. He’s leaving, walking away, proving to Bradley his fears are all correct and this is what he’s going to do every time it gets real. He’s a little bit farther away now, putting just an inch or two of more space between them. Bradley holds him a little tighter, bringing his other hand up to cradle his cheek.
“Sweetheart, baby , hold on.” He’s begging now, trying so hard to get past the walls the other had put up years ago. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have, I know that. But neither should you.” Jake bristles under the call out and he barrels on quickly. “It’s okay, I promise it’s okay. But I need you to know that I let you leave because I can’t make those choices for you. You need to know what you want for yourself.”
Hangman deflates all over again, sinking into Bradley’s chest and wrapping his arms around his middle. The brunette does nothing but hold him in response.
He’s not sure when Jake pulls back, only knows that he does. Feels his breath fan across his face as he gets close enough to put his lips on the others. Rooster can’t help it as his eyes flutter shut, waiting and waiting for the one thing he’s been dying without. Waiting for Jake.
Only it never comes.
The arms around his waist leave him and suddenly he’s so much colder than before, the warmth of the other's body gone. He doesn’t dare open his eyes, too afraid he’ll see something he won’t ever be able to forget.
(Like he said: this is what he’s going to do every time it gets real.)
He’s gone with three simple words.
“I miss you.”
iv.
The one where you act all surprised
Like you didn't know I'd be at the party
After The Kitchen Moment, (Bradley can safely say he’s getting tired of capalitzing events tied to Jake in his head), the two were in some sort of weird limbo. It wasn’t like before The Clubbing Incident where they were just dancing around each other with sly smirks and knowing glances. Nor was it like before The Mission where they were pulling pigtails and biting each other's heads off.
Now, they can barely talk. No one else in the squadron seems to understand where the shift came from or what it means. Not even Phoenix and Coyote, both of whom have yet to get it out of their best friends, what exactly changed in the last day.
They could be in the same room, sure, but they didn't seem to know how to speak anymore without some kind of buffer.
At breakfast, the two were alone with just Bob for a solid ten minutes, and it was a lot of starting and stopping from them while Bob tried to aim neutral sounding questions at them. (He’d learned quickly what not to say when Jake dropped a plate after he asked Bradley: “ So Brad, anything going to happen with that blonde from the other night? ”).
It’s been like that all day, and everyone was obviously annoyed when he had half the squadron cornering him that evening.
“Listen,” Coyote— Coyote, of all people? —started. “I have no clue what happened with you two between yesterday and this morning, but it needs to be fixed right now.”
Payback nods in agreement. “Neither of you are acting normal, and it’s affecting how we’re flying.”
And Rooster couldn’t act like he didn’t know what the other was talking about. After The Mission and the Dagger squad was told they would be a permanent squadron, both Rooster and Hangman were picked to co-lead them. They had the best connection up there in the air, and ever since last night it hasn’t been the same. Training had been a mess, ending up with a lecture from Cyclone to get their heads out of their asses.
He just sighs and nods, resigned to the fate that he’s going to have to try and talk to Hangman again, if not for themselves but for their friends. “I’ll figure it out.” He says, hoping they can drop it for now. They all look at each other, all of them having some kind of silent conversation Bradley hates he can’t be a part of. “You’re still coming to the Hard Deck for Fritz’s party tonight right?”
He tries not to groan out loud at Bob’s question, he had completely forgotten the crew was closing out the Hard Deck for Fritz’s birthday party that night. Nonetheless, he confirms he’ll be there because he doesn’t want to not show up when he’d already told Fritz he’d be there weeks ago.
They leave him alone after that, and he heads home to shower and change.
He makes it to the Hard Deck around 8. Mostly everyone’s already there, and for once he smiles at the scene in front of him. Penny’s standing behind the bar cleaning a glass while talking to the two people standing in front of her. Said people are Ice and Mav, the former of whom has his arm around the others shoulders. It makes his smile just a little bit bigger, seeing his dads happy after everything they’ve all gone through.
Phoenix, Payback, Coyote, and Bob are all standing around the pool table, and from the way it’s looking, Phoenix and her WSO are winning. Fritz, Harvard, and Omaha are talking with Hondo (Re: Fritz is pushing a present back in Hondo’s hands and he is not taking it back.) There’s no sign of Halo or Yale yet, which makes him raise an eyebrow.
Finally, Hangman and Fanboy are standing around the dart board and Fanboy looks so dejected Bradley almost wants to laugh. The only thing holding him back? The look on Jake’s face when he spots Rooster.
His jaw falls open like he’s shocked before he visibly sucks in a breath and turns back to the dart board with such a meaningful pivot he almost falls over. It stings of course, but he ignores it as he walks up to the three at the bar. “Hi guys!”
The two not facing him spin around quickly. Mav breaks out into a bright smile while Ice gives a more reserved smile. “Baby Goose! There you are. We were just talking about you.” The mention of their previous conversation makes Penny chuckles and shoots him a sympathetic look and he almost wishes he went straight for the pool table. “What’s this about you and Hangman being weird again. I thought that was over.”
He doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t want to lie to his dad, but can’t exactly tell him the answer to a question when he doesn’t have it. So instead he says, “I’m not sure what happened. I’m hoping to fix it tonight.” Ice sends him a sharper look, and he should know he can’t bullshit his Pops. But, for some reason, the man doesn’t call him out on it. Instead, Penny waves him off. “Go have fun, Bradley.”
He accepts the beer she offers him, and leaves for the pool table.
It’s not until way later in the night, after an entirety of awkward interactions that even Hondo picks up on, that Bradley finds himself alone on the deck. Not too long after the door opens. The cheering of his friends family gets briefly louder while the door is open, only to fall practically silent again when it shuts.
He doesn’t need to turn to know it’s Jake, the whole night has been leading up to this. He leans his back on the railing Bradley’s on, close enough to feel the heat radiating off of him but far enough that they aren’t touching.
“I’m surprised you’re here.”
He lets out a humorless laugh. “You knew I’d be here Seresin, don’t try to act surprised.”
The other blanches as Bradley turns to look him head on. It’s an interesting look on the golden hued man. “What are we doing, Jake? This whole hot-and-cold thing has me dizzy.”
He nods enthusiastically, like he’s been thinking the same thing. “God, I know . But, Jesus , Roo, I don’t know how to tell you what I’m feeling. I’ve never felt this way with no one.”
“And you think I have?” Bradley questions. “You consume all of my thoughts most of the time and the only time I’m sure you even feel something for me is when we’re fighting about it.”
Almost like he has no control over it, Jake grabs his face and kisses him full on. It’s not like he’d expected their next kiss to be. It’s demanding, like he’s trying to prove what he can’t with words. He’s fully leaning himself on Bradley now, and he has to wrap his arms around the other's waist in order to hold him up. Even so, he responds easily, licking into his mouth and taking control. It becomes a little more heated, Jake even going as far as to slide a hand up the the nape of Bradley’s neck to pull the hair there.
His mouth falls open in a groan, and Jake takes the opportunity to kiss down his neck, biting when he fights the others pulse point. He relishes in the feeling of Jake in his arms, Jake kissing his neck, but he still has enough mind to pull back enough to say what he needs to. “Jake, I need you to say it, say something.”
He pulls back slowly, looking at Rooster with some much vulnerability that other squeezes his hips a little bit in support. “I think you’re it for me, and that terrifies me.”
Bradley nods, because he knows exactly what the other is saying, and feels the exact same way. “It doesn’t have to be scary.” Jake shrugs, and Bradley knows he’s not going to get more past his walls tonight, but that’s okay. They have the possibility of all the time in the world. So, he just bends down to kiss him again, and whispers against his lips “Let’s go home.”
v.
The way you wake up, say it was just a mistake
But you always leave something over at my place
So I gotta bring it back
The next morning Bradley wakes up to the sound of footsteps in his hallway. He frowns and pats the empty spot next to his. Instead of finding the body he’d hoped would be there, there’s a note.
I’m sorry, this was a mistake. I can’t be what you need.
Bradley curses and quickly entangles himself from the bedsheets. He’s still in his boxers, as all that happened when they had gotten back to Bradley’s house was the two getting into bed and holding each other until they fell asleep. He scans his room for a pair of sweatpants, only for his eyes to land on a wallet instead. It’s a brown leather, where his own is black. He grits his teeth as he picks it up along with a pair of gym shorts that were laying around.
Jake’s walking down the driveway when Bradley catches up to him. He’s got his back facing the house, obviously trying to get out of there as fast as he can. “So that’s it?” he calls, “Leave a note to tell me it’s all a mistake but make sure you leave your wallet so I have an excuse to bring it back?”
The blond flinches. He stops walking, but doesn’t turn around to look at Bradley. “I didn’t-”
“Like hell you didn’t!” he almost screams, threatening to wake the entire neighborhood.
“I’m sick of this Jake, I’m so sick of the games. So I’m done, I’m laying it all on the line and if you really want to tell me it’s a mistake after that, I don’t think there will be hope for us.
( + one.
Tell me are we ever gonna stop
Playing these games )
“I’m in love with you. Alright? That’s all I’ve got. The love I feel for you. And if you don’t want it you need to tell me right now because I can’t do this anymore. Not when it’s killing me more and more everyday. And I really think you could be worth it, I do. But I can’t be the only one trying, I won’t be. It’s not fair to me. So either tell me right now you love too or take your stupid wallet and leave me and whatever this is in the past for good.”
He’s breathless by the time he’s done, almost like he’s back in high school and just finished running laps for the baseball team he wasn’t even sure he wanted to be on. Only now the burn makes sense, because he knows he wants this, more than he’s ever wanted anything.
Finally, after what seems like way too long, Jake turns around to look at him. His face is blotchy and there’s a constant stream of tears running down his face. “Baby…”
He’s shaking like a leaf, shaking his head back and forth like everything Bradley’s saying is wrong.
“You can’t love me.” And he says it with such conviction the brunette feels a lump form in his own throat. Because he’s not saying it like it’s something that’s not allowed, he’s saying it like it’s not something he should be capable of. “No one loves me, I’m not a lovable person.”
Now it’s Rooster’s turn to shake his head, unable to understand this man. This gorgeous, wonderful, kind, golden man, who for some reason thinks he’s unlovable?
“No, baby. I do love you. I’m going to love you for as long as you’ll let me. Please , let me. Please . Let me show you why.”
His resolve is breaking, Rooster can see it from here. Then, almost so quick he would’ve missed it if he hadn’t been looking, he sees something else. The hope that’s now flicking in the others eyes.
“Tell me I’m not wrong baby, tell me you want this too. That’s all I ask.”
Jake lets out a sob before nodding, running at Bradley and throwing himself into the others arms. He doesn’t even hesitate before grabbing the other. He walks them back into the house quickly, terrified Jake will change his mind and run from Bradley again. ( Please , he silently begs, never again. Stay with me. )
Jake’s head is tucked in his neck, and just drops on to the couch, holding him as long as he needs.
After what could’ve been hours, he pulls back enough to look at Bradley. He notes his eyes are a brighter green now, and smiles at him softly.
“I want it. I meant it when I said I think you’re it for me. But it’s not going to be easy, you know better than anyone how much of a handful I can be.”
Bradley nods. Then, he leans in to peck the others lips. “I want it all, baby, trust me.”
The smile he gets in return is worth the horrible start this morning had been. It’s the smile he’s willing to risk it all for.
And it doesn’t matter that Jake hasn’t said those words yet, he doesn’t need to. Bradley can see it, see it everytime he smiles at him like that. For now, it’s more than enough.