Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A low humming sound echoed through the engine room as a hulking figure sat crouched over a complicated system of tubes and wires, connecting to heavy machinery that, to the untrained eye, looked like huge piles of scrap metal piled up and taped together. 

The engineer, hard at work on his project, continued to hum to himself- a low, raspy tune that could only be described as a growl to someone that didn’t hail from the same fire region as him. Low notes reverberated through the room, briefly cutting short whenever he would shift or go to find a different tool to continue his work effectively.

Pink hair tied back into a loose, messy, partially braided knot, a pair of bright red eyes that would look murderous to anyone that didn’t really know the intuitiveness that truly hid behind the bloody hue, and a hulking body of more muscle than skin, thanks to the figure’s death-worldian origins. A Piglin, that much was obvious, with just one look at his long, floppy ears, his leathery, muscled skin, his tall stature, and the pink, fur-tipped tail that was sweeping across the floor behind him.

The peaceful atmosphere built up in the safe-space that had become of the engine room suddenly halted when the entire ship jolted once, then twice with the turbulence that normally occurred on a ship entering a zone with orbiting celestial or otherwise bodies. The engineer huffed and growled to himself as he put his tools away and stored his toolbox where it wouldn’t get thrown around, then stumbled out of the room, chuffing with annoyance as the turbulence made him lose his footing.

He wandered through the ship’s halls, grumbling and huffing until he made it into the stardeck, sending a cold glare at the figure at the ship’s controls, who simply sent him a sheepish smile in return.

“Philza, I thought I told you to use your comm to warn me when we enter high grav zones? I’m working on delicate things down in the engine room,” He growled out as he sat down in one of the copilot seats, strapping himself against it before he crossed his thick arms over his similarly bulky chest. There was no use in going back to the engine room with this much turbulence coursing through the ship. He could feel himself bristling when he heard the familiar squawks of his laughing pilot.

Philza, the main pilot and commander of the Ant’arcick cargo starship, was standing in the center of the deck- the man had removed his chair and customized the control desk of the ship to allow him to stand during flight. He was an Elytrian, a rare and ancient species that was, according to known cosmic history, the first to explore the expanse of the major galaxies and introduce other planets to space travel. 

He was just under 4 pelos tall, with a mane of yellow-gold feathers crowning his head and surrounding his eyes. The skin under the feathers was a pale, pinkish-orange colour, though it was only really visible in his facial area, where his feathers were smaller and farther apart. He had a pair of enormous wings that more than made up for his short stature with their size and colour- the golden tones seen on his head worked as accent marks on his wings, the rest of the large limbs having been covered in shimmering, black feathers. 

“You just don’t want to admit that you’re a clumsy oaf- I know you’re careful with the engines, you wouldn’t fumble when working on that, ” Phil said with another laugh, waiting a moment for Technoblade to be fully strapped into his seat before speeding up the starship, swerving and looping around rocks and debris. 

It didn’t take much longer for the final crewmember to burst into the deck, flustered and clothes in disarray as he looked around the room with a crazed look in his two secondary eyes, the primaries squinted shut from the brighter stardeck light. Relaxation then flooded his limbs when he found no danger, and only stood as his own self, in front of his two close crewmates.

“Good morning, sleepyhead!” The pilot said from where he stood at the control panel, a bright, happy trill churring from his throat as the youngest crew member stumbled over to his own seat, letting himself fall into the cushioned comforts of the chair before he spoke, words slightly slurred with sleep.

“You couldn’t bother waking me up before doing crazy maneuvers?” The crewmate asked, already pressing his entire body weight into his chair, nocturnal body instinctively trying to pull him back into his sleep cycle despite having just woken up.

“Wilbur, you know we’ll never be able to remind the old bird about safety protocols at this point. He’s going senile already,” Technoblade spoke up from his own seat on the other side of the pilot, a teasing chuff escaping his lips only seconds later. 

Wilbur was the youngest member of their small crew; unofficially adopted by Philza when he and Techno had dropped off for a supply run on a small Bumonian moon and run into the starving Phastome on the side of the road, having apparently been robbed and hijacked, left with only his clothes and tiastere, a traditional Phastome instrument. He was a semi-aquatic reptilian from the Lospes system, with two sets of eyes, shimmering blue and yellow scales, and bioluminescent spots spattered across his body. With claws on his front paws and back feet, and a long, lashing tail tipped with small, dull spikes, he never failed to stand out even with his two more intimidating crewmates.

At that moment, however, he let himself give into his instincts and curled up into a ball on his seat, seemingly unbothered by the uncomfortable seat belt as he started to snore softly, the normally bright lights on his body dimming significantly as he slipped into unconsciousness.

The next hour was filled with the sounds of chuffs, trills, and soft warbles as Techno and Phil spoke to each other, and the Ant’arcick flew through space. The atmosphere was that of a comfortable, regular day in the starship when the SBI crew had no missions and could live stress-free for a little while.

That atmosphere would soon end, however, when a communication request popped up on Wilbur’s control panel, shocking the Phastome awake with its high-pitched alarm, chosen specifically to startle him awake, as his sleep cycle ran longer than the other members of the ship’s crew.

Now awake, he quickly analyzed the transmission’s location and entry number, glancing up at Phil once he found the call’s origin.

“It’s from the Usur system, planet Peridose. It seems to be a high-ranking communication number, so we should be safe to answer,” He said, easily adopting a professional appearance as he waited for Phil to nod his approval at the call’s request. Wilbur accepted the call, and one of the black screens in the room buzzed for a moment before the face of a Peridosian appeared on its surface.

All white fur, pointed ears, and dark skin, Peridosians were built for the cold- this specific one, seeming to be a Tolio subspecies due to the darker markings around its eyes, was dressed in heavily decorated garbs- not just any high official, then, they were more likely to be a leader of a community.

“Hello, you’re currently in contact with commander Philza Mincra of the SBI starship, what are your demands?” Phil said, wings fluffing up and spreading slightly at the somber expression on the Peridosian’s face. The crew could hear Phil’s words quietly sounding out on the other end of the transmission, translated into the stranger’s language before they spoke up.

They weren’t speaking common, meaning they must have not been part of a space-faring community on the planet. Phil waited for a moment as the communicators automatically translated the speech, before he found his ear feathers perking up at the response that played, “This is Ste’f, mayor of Lontos. We’re a small town on Peridose, and have encountered a UFO crashing near our town. Your ship is the closest trusted transport craft near our system, we are requesting your assistance in the extraction and investigation of the crash.”

Wilbur visibly tensed at the mention of a crash- Phil and Techno were very familiar with his discomfort towards these kinds of missions, where they had little to no information. In this day and age, UFOs were extremely rare, with a 50/50 chance of being either a complete fluke, or extremely dangerous.

Techno, on the other hand, just looked annoyed. He hated landing the ship when it wasn’t for a supply run or on a proper station- landing on a planet was always met with turbulence, and having to adjust to another planet’s gravity, air, and weather.

“Is anyone injured? Do you have any information beyond the object being a UFO? Did it look like a ship, or debris? You can tell us now or send us a written briefing through the same transmission network, along with the coordinates of your town so we can land safely,” Phil spoke up, seemingly unbothered by his crewmates’ discomfort at the new mission.

The mayor spoke again, the AI-generated voice picking up a few seconds after their speech, “I will send you details in a short written transmission, please respond soon with confirmation that you’re coming and a timeframe for when you will arrive, thank you.”

The transmission shut off soon after that, and the crew all shared looks with each other before Techno’s terminal blinked on, showing the written transmission, giving way more details than he had previously expected.

“Oh, this isn’t as unknown as I thought it would be. ‘The UFO is a ship of an unknown make, put together in means that seem archaic at best. It seems approximately 10 pelos tall, 40 pelos long, and 15 pelos wide. It looks like it used to be part of a larger mechanism and was purposely separated. High amounts of carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, and oxygen have been found in the area of the crash.’ It looks like someone may have used an out of date ship, or, unlikely, an unfounded civilization just entered their space travel phase,” Techno said, speaking in a low but clear voice as he charted the coordinates into Wilbur’s panel, letting the navigator chart the course as Phil seemed to think it over.

“Well, it seems like we’re dealing with some kind of criminal then. Just what I was hoping for. Techno, send a transmission accepting the mission. Wilbur, how long will it take for us to reach the coordinates?”

“It should take us just over one rotation, if we take our time.”

Phil smiled at that, pulling up the now-charted course on his own panel, looking it over and making short, mental calculations before he started to alter the ship’s direction, steering down and to the left towards the planet.

“Alright, Techno, finish up what you were doing in the engine room- we shouldn’t be having any more turbulence before landing, so you should be fine to finish your work. Wilbur, I’m gonna need you to prepare our supplies for the landing, possible containment, and possible medbay entries. Go take a nap after, I know you only slept for half a sleep cycle.”

The two crewmates stood up at the new orders, Wilbur stumbling on his feet as his sleep-addled mind attempted to catch up with what he needed to do. Techno, on the other hand, took his time to undo his seatbelt so he could get up.

---------------------

Soon after that, the crew was hard at work, getting on with their own tasks. Techno spent a quarter rotation optimizing everything he could for the landing, preparing for the absolute worst as he stressed about having to adjust to the planet’s gravity. He would never admit it, but the feeling of adjusting to another planet’s gravitational level flipped his stomach and made him nauseous- it had been bad enough when he had to get used to the universal gravity settings- made as accessible as possible to different species, but at least those settings were the same whenever they stopped at a moon or station for a supply run or mission.

It should be a short mission, come on Techno…

He grumbled to himself as he worked, eventually letting the relaxing environment of the engine room get to him as he allowed himself to get back to his humming and huffing. The engine room and his bedroom were the spaces in the ship that had been configured specifically for Techno, so he could pull off the extra layers of clothing he was so used to wearing around the rest of the ship to stay warm. His steps got heavier, and his breathing easier as he relaxed in the simulated atmosphere of his home planet.

It had been an expensive addition to the ship’s configuration, giving each room its own gravitational system, temperature, and vent system, but it had really made it worth it, now that he, Phil, and Wilbur called the ship their truly permanent home.

As he thought about these things, letting his mind wander to a comfortable place, Techno fixed what he could and needed to in the engine room, soon desperately trying to find something else to do, and grumbling when he found that he no longer had an excuse to hide in the engine room. The best he could do now, to keep his mind off of their imminent landing, was go to his chambers and work out.

He stepped out of the engine room, pulling on a jacket, but not zipping it up as he didn’t expect to be walking the halls for very long. Techno passed by the medbay for a moment, glancing in to see Wilbur dutifully shatter-proofing the fragile bottles and cupboards, singing softly along to the terminal that was quietly playing music in the small room. Techno nodded at the Phastome before moving on to the sleeping quarters, entering the room that had been assigned to him when he first became part of the crew, back when it had just been him and Phil.

Techno walked into his room, sighing when his high gravity returned, and he removed the extra layers of clothing until he was just dressed in a pair of comfortable pants. He stepped onto the treadmill tucked on one side of the room, and started up the machine, first starting at a comfortable, fast walking pace, before he upped the speed until he was running at his limit, huffing and grunting like a sick hoglin.

Once he had expended enough energy, Techno stopped the treadmill, cleaned himself up, and allowed himself to collapse on his burrow, grabbing onto one of his many puzzle cubes to occupy his hands as he set documents to autoscroll on the terminal across from the burrow. 

Another half-rotation later, the sound of comms and terminals’ notification sounds could be heard across the ship as Phil announced that they would be landing soon. Techno grumbled but stood up anyway, pulling on his outdoor gear, making sure to double up his layers, as he had noticed the transmission stating that they were going to be landing on an ice planet- because of course Techno’s luck would be bad enough that their first mission since taking a little break from work would be on an ice planet. 

He stepped out into the hall, a plasma gun, a knife, and his favourite plasma sword all strapped to his belt, their safeties turned on for until they landed on the planet.

Techno took his time as he walked through the ship, carefully tying his hair up into braids with intricate beads and ties knotted into the soft pink locks, each colour, shape, and design signifying a different thing. He just barely saw Wilbur’s blue tail pass through a hall before him when he turned a corner and entered the stardeck, where a familiar Elytrian and Phastome were talking to each other, and in the front window directed towards what would normally the endless expanse of space, the entire view was taken up by the white and violet surface of a planet.

Wilbur trilled cheerily and settled down on his seat- clearly more refreshed and awake after taking a longer nap. Phil, on the other hand, looked like he was ready to go to bed at any moment.

“Okay boys, buckle up, this is going to get shaky. Techno, keep a barf bag ready, because you’re going to feel the gravity shift.”

The sound of belts clicking in place and of crewmembers shifting in their seats filled the room as they descended towards the planet’s surface, the ship slowing down significantly as the planet’s gravity started to affect it more and more. Techno easily found himself clutching at the armrests of his seat, his stomach and throat grumbling as he felt the gravity affecting him differently, the planet’s mass fighting with the ship’s simulated gravity, and making him gag on his tongue.

God, this felt disgusting.

It didn’t help at all that Phil was letting out loud cheers, trills, and coos as he spread his wings out all the way. Black and gold feathers reflected the bright light coming from the suns and planet, and the way Phil seemed to be having so much fun was almost enough to make Techno feel better. Almost.

Wilbur also seemed to be having a good time, warbling at every little shake and tremble of the ship, his crests expanding with excitement as they got closer and closer, and the phosphorescent lights that dotted his face, skin, and scales were glowing brighter than ever.

It took a whole shift for them to finally land, and by the time they arrived, Techno was completely and utterly sick of his stomach turning circles on itself. He grumbled and gagged as he undid his seatbelt and stumbled out of the stardeck, his hooving clanking hard on the metallic flooring as he made his way down to the ship’s docking bay.

Mechanically, Techno pulled his labelled breathing mask off of its spot on the wall, strapping it around his jaw and making sure it was cranked to the right ratio settings as he stood in the bay, waiting for the two other crew members to join him.

The bay was the one part of the ship that turned off all its default settings when they entered a planet’s atmosphere- it was somewhat like an airlock, an area of the ship where they could get somewhat used to a planet’s gravity, temperature, and atmosphere before stepping out and taking the whole thing in without any kind of protective gear.

Techno was already aware of the difference- the gravity wasn’t too bad, just a bit heavier than the galactic average, and much lighter than Nether. The temperature was the opposite, taking on a point that would be considered disastrous on his home planet, and to Techno, wildly uncomfortable. The air smelled a bit sweet, but otherwise, his mask kept him safe from anything that could make the air poisonous to Piglins, so that was fine.

Phil and Wilbur stepped into the docking bay, the Elytrian clearly stuttering in his step at the heavier gravity. Wilbur seemed completely fine, which wasn’t too much of a surprise- as a semi-aquatic species, he was used to experiencing gravity changes whenever he exited or entered water. The two grabbed their own masks, going through the same process that Techno had gone through.

“Okay boys, I’ve been speaking to the mayor through transmissions during the trip here, and I’ve got a pretty good understanding of the situation now. We will be travelling by hoverbike for about 60 tepelos, the crash site is located south-east-east from here. Wilbur, you’ll be driving. Techno, you’ll be keeping track of the direction. The gravity here is a bit heavy for me, so I can’t fly as fast, but I’ll try to keep up with you two in the air,” Phil said, taking on his more authoritative, “commander” voice as he started to prepare the hoverbike for travel, collapsing portable equipment down and placing it in the storage compartments on it.

Wilbur just seemed excited at the prospect of using his hoverbike again, “Yes! We’ve been stuck in stuffy bases and stop shops too long! I’ve been needing to take Aceraze on a joyride again!” He cheered, both sets of eyes opening as he scrambled to get to the bike, digging his accessor from his pocket and turning the engine on.

The sound of the engine revving filled the space, and soon enough, Techno could only let out a low sigh when the bay door opened, a ramp sliding down to the snowy ground, allowing the SBI crew to descend onto the planet’s surface, ready to take on whatever criminal had crash-landed on the planet’s surface.

He watched as Phil took off into the bright, violet sky, quickly disappearing behind fluffy yellow clouds as he flew in a vaguely eastern direction. Turning his attention away from the sky, Techno watched as Wilbur slowly slid the bike down the ramp, careful not to let it fall to the ground. When everything was securely out of the ship, Techno busied himself closing the bay doors, ramp, and activating the ship’s security features.

The features weren’t very extended, but simple things like activating shields, automatic locking mechanisms, and miniscule lasers to block the vents were all they really needed to keep stowaways and hijackers out and away.

He then turned to glance at Wilbur, huffing at the sight of the Phastome getting settled on the bike, not looking at all bothered by the cold, the gravity, or the atmosphere- god, Techno couldn’t wait for them to go to a fire planet so he could bathe in comfort and, for once, see Wilbur be uncomfortable. 

Not that he wanted Wil to suffer… but seeing him uncomfortable would definitely make Techno feel better.

He chuffed two times and settled on the bike’s seat, just behind where Wilbur was sitting, careful to not sit on his friend’s tail. It only took a few moments and five revs of the engine before they took off, the hoverbike blowing snow behind and around them as it flew in the crash’s direction, the cold wind blowing directly in Techno’s face.

Wilbur was hooting and warbling, letting out pent up excitement into the cold, endless wind where only Techno could hear it- he had to say, it was pretty tempting to just yell out and be heard by no one, after being confined for orbit after orbit in a tiny ship where everyone could hear everything.

Even if he was a quiet species, Techno eventually gave in, letting out his own call to the wind as he yelled out churrs and grunts, suddenly less bothered by the freezing air that rushed past them, tousling his so elegantly decorated hair.

He could see smoke in the distance, a crater visibly making a black and brown dent in the pure white snow that surrounded them. Wilbur slowed down his bike, carefully making his way down into the crater, as far as he dared.

Techno didn’t wait for Wilbur to stop before he hopped off the bike, brandishing his plasma sword and shutting off the safety- he felt his ears twitch comfortably at the humming, buzzing sound of energy and heat pulsing from the blade, then made his way to where Phil was already waiting, the Elytrian trembling a bit as he rushed over to Techno and Wil, pulling a warm cloak out from one of the bike’s storage drives.

“Okay, Wil, I want you to set up the transport biolab that I set up in your hoverbike. You’re the getaway driver, so I need you to stay here, keep an eye out, and inform us of any changes in the atmosphere and the ship’s structural integrity. It’s been out here for a few rotations already, so we don’t know what state it could be in,” Phil said as he pulled the cloak over his shoulders, his wings tucking up into the warm pouches sewn into the back of the cloak.

Phil then turned to Techno, and with a trill, he spoke, “Techno, you’re risking your ass more than the two of us, as usual. You’re muscle, and you’re our heat resistance, so I’m gonna need you to act as a frontal assault. I’ll be walking after you, so make sure to either keep me updated, or update the AI map on Wilbur’s devices so he can help guide me.”

As soon as Techno nodded in acknowledgment to the orders, Phil smiled and turned back to the ship, placing his hands on his hips as he seemed to analyze it up and down. “Okay Techno, there’s no visible entrance, so we’re going to have to make our own, you ready?”

Techno just stepped forward as confirmation, brandishing his plasma sword and his portable terminal as he walked down through the now blazing heat. It felt weird, walking through a comfortable fire when the cold wind was still blowing in his face and hair, but it was already much more comforting than riding on the hoverbike.

When he finally arrived in front of the ship, Techno crouched down, pressing his terminal’s sensor up against the metal and huffing in surprise at the realization that it was mainly made up of aluminum and graphite alloys- the mayor really hadn’t been kidding when he had said that the construction was archaic- his plasma blade would cut through the ship like a knife through elinse, for eternity’s sake!

Still, Techno double checked with his scanner to make sure he was cutting a cleared space with no important gases or liquids stored in it before he cut a hole in the ship’s hull, just big enough for himself and for Phil’s wingspan to fit through. The metal fell inwards into the ship, and with just a bit of hesitation, the Piglin squeezed into the ship, taking in his surroundings as he did so.

It was certainly an ancient model, with wires, tubes, and tools attached to the walls and ceilings- the way everything was firmly tied to wires further attached to the walls, it was very obvious that they didn’t use any form of simulated gravity when they travelled through space- a weird and foreign concept to Techno, as he couldn’t even imagine himself being in his current career if he had to do so in zero gravity all the time.

He walked through the hall, glancing around until he caught sight of an opening above his head- with little hesitation, he jumped up with his arms in the air, grabbing the edge of the opening when he could reach it and pulling himself upwards and into the opening.

This room was more open- instead of the same twisting paths and halls he had seen on the first layer of the ship, this area was completely open, with appliances built into the walls and a row of fabric bags strapped to the one wall that wasn’t covered in appliances. Taking the zero G in consideration, Techno had to guess this was a common room for the crewmates, where they all slept together.

He looked into a few bags, the first of which had been empty.

He wasn’t so lucky when he glanced into the last one- he had seen a weird lump visible from looking at it from the outside, but he found himself gagging at the sight of the twisted, disfigured body of an alien.

The term “alien” may have been considered offensive in these modern, space-faring times, but there was no other word to describe it. With fleshy pinkish-gray skin, black fur on its head, and bluish-white eyes, it looked like an oversized Piglin fetus, in the nicest way possible. 

Then again, maybe that was just because it was dead.

Either way, Techno closed the bag up and quickly spoke to Phil through his comm, “I found a body in one of the sleeping bags on the second level- it seems extragalactic in nature, clearly from a system or galaxy that hasn’t been explored or deemed to hold sentient life.”

Techno didn’t wait for a response, simply tapping the side of his terminal so the sensor would send a map simulation to Wilbur, then moved on to the third layer of the ship.

When he entered the layer, Techno was suddenly hit with the stench of iron, and most importantly, the smell of rot. 

The floor was split into three rooms, the first of which seemed to be a little lounge or entertainment area, with devices built into the walls that seemed to have no important purpose when Techno analyzed them. He couldn’t find any bodies, so he checked the next room, and only found a hygiene maintenance room, which he decided wasn’t necessary to be explored further when its purpose was already obvious.

The last room was the most shocking and upsetting one to see.

Pods, two dozen cryogenic pods lined the walls, ceiling, and floor. He couldn’t see into the wall or floor pods, but upon looking up, Techno was faced with the nauseating sight of six aliens, trapped in the pods, dead and rotting and their faces smashed open after likely being thrown around inside of their pods before being smashed right against the glass for the world to see. 

He could see that their blood was a reddish-black colour, and as he looked around the room more and more, the more he realized that almost every single pod was tainted with the same colour- god, none of these creatures survived, did they?

“I found a room full of cryogenic pods- I don’t think any of them survived.”

He looked around the room anyway, fighting back the nausea that hit him whenever the smell or sight got too much as he carefully checked every single pod, finding each and every one of them filled with the same bloody mess that he had expected to find.

Mechanically, Techno charted the room layouts back to Wilbur, and ascended to the fourth and last surviving layer of the ship, finding vague familiarity in the ancient stardeck. It felt extremely disconcerting to step into a ship built with such old techniques, left in such a brand new state. All ancient ship artifacts found at this point and time were either overgrown with flora or left in such a state of disrepair that it was impossible to imagine them ever functioning.

Yet there it was, a ship that, if it hadn’t just crashed a few rotations ago, would have been in perfect working condition despite its status as ancient architecture and engineering.

Techno stepped into the stardeck and carefully looked through everything, inspecting what the aliens had used to make their ships function. There was an excessive number of buttons and switches on the control boards, as well as the walls and ceiling, with no screens at all- everything had seemed to be controlled by circular gouges pointing to small symbols that Techno had to guess were numbers or algebraic symbols.

He thought that was all there was to see, but as he went to perform his room scan to send to Wilbur, Techno stumbled and knocked his arm against the wall, accidentally pushing a button that, surprisingly, actually reacted to being pressed. Techno had been sure that there was no more power in the ship, but this easily proved him wrong as what looked like another cryogenic pod slid out from the wall like a drawer.

Why was it so tiny, though?

Techno took a moment to chart the room layout back to Wil, then allowed curiosity to push him to glance into the box.

There… oh, there was no blood. He could still see something inside it? Maybe it was important documents, hidden only for the high-ranked members of the crew?

“Phil, I found a secret storage area in the stardeck. I can’t scan anything harmful in or around it. Permission to open it up?”

Techno stared down at the pod before sighing when he heard Phil’s trilled voice sound out from his comm, “Permission granted- still, be careful Techno, it could be something dangerous made of non-dangerous chemicals or materials.”

Techno nodded, even though Phil couldn’t see him do so, and carefully poked and prodded at the pod before it finally opened under his hands, steam seeping from the sides of the lid as it pulled back into the wall to reveal…

A… baby?

Techno’s eyes widened significantly as he stared at the little squirming figure, quickly shaken out of his stupor when it started to let out its own set of chuffs and warbles at the sudden change in temperature and light surrounding it. Techno hesitated when he reached down to take it into his arms- was this safe?

Then his eyes locked onto the soft duvet fluffing on the top of its head. Techno had thought he’d gotten over his gold-related instincts, after spending so much time around Phil and his golden feathers, but the alien’s head fur was so much more gold than he’d ever seen or comprehended in his life. Phil’s feathers were nothing compared to this.

Still, he could hold himself back, right? Sure, he could feel his pupils widen until his red irises were just slivers surrounding pitch black, but he had a tight grip on his own emotions and feelings, and he knew he couldn’t let himself be caught off guard by his own instincts.

Then, he chuffed accidentally, and he knew he had lost.

The alien- the piglet- chuffed back.

Sounder.

Chapter Text

Wilbur could only stare, both sets of eyes opened wide despite the bright white snow that surrounded and blinded him. Technoblade was walking out of the crashed ship, cape off of his shoulders despite how cold it must be against his skin, and bundled up in his arms as if he wasn’t from Nether, walking around on an ice planet. 

Techno and Phil approached, grim looks on their faces as they walked through the sooty, crumbling ground all the way back to him. When they finally came up close enough for Wilbur to see them properly, he couldn’t help but notice the look in Techno’s eyes. Their red hue of his irises was barely even visible- appearing only as thin lines around the expanses of black that were his dilated pupils.

Instincts- those were Wilbur and Phil’s trademark quirks, but never Techno. Wilbur never pushed to find out why Techno was always against falling to his instincts; the Piglin was a stubborn idiot, so if he chose not to tell you something, he would absolutely never tell you. Still, there he was, letting out low, gentle chuffs- the kind he would let out when he ate particularly good food, or when he was proud of Wil or Phil.

Why the hell was he chuffing at his cape? What happened inside the crash site?

He didn’t know, but he sure as hell was going to ask.

“What happened back there? You were meant to update me as you explored- did you find anyone? Are you okay?” Okay, maybe Wilbur was rambling… but he had been standing around outside for nearly two shifts, his only updates coming from the AI map expanding to show more of the ship’s layout.

Techno didn’t respond- apparently he was too deep in his instincts to even talk; the Piglin just chuffed at him, sounding a bit annoyed, before walking over to a snowbank and sitting in it.

The Phastome gaped at the SBI engineer before turning to look at Phil, bristling at the shit-eating grin visible on the commander’s face.

“What happened in there?” Wilbur asked, not even noticing as his tail swept across the ground, scattering snow in every direction.

“We know what crashed the ship now. It’s aliens, Wilbur! Full, honest-to-god aliens! They all died in the crash, but Techno found a-” Phil was interrupted by a high-pitched, shrieking sound that didn’t fail to have them all clutching at their ears.

“What in the cosmos is that?!” Wilbur found himself crying out when the shrieking calmed down a little before starting right back up. He spun around, trying to find out what direction it was coming from, and only gaped more when he found that the bundle of Techno’s cloak was what was incessantly shrieking and screaming.

Confused and intrigued, Wilbur approached Techno, still clutching painfully at his ears as the wailing continued on. The Piglin, still deep in his instincts, seemed to be panicking at the sound of the cries, desperately trying to find a good position for the bundle in his arms.

When he could finally look down at the bundle, Wilbur found his hands dropping down from the sides of his head in shock as he stared at it.

An alien baby. Techno- stoic, emotionless Techno, had fallen to his instincts because of a baby”

Now this was priceless.

Techno let out a low, warning chuff and held the bundle closer to his chest- the wailing continued, and Wilbur had to guess that the poor thing was probably cold and hungry.

“Tech, come on, think about this logically. Or, just think, man. If you let me take it, we can get back to the ship with it,” Wilbur said slowly, keeping his hands out in front of him as if he was appeasing some wild animal. Techno didn’t really seem convinced, unfortunately.

Phil came closer, wings tucked back inside his cloak to make himself appear smaller as he gave his own attempt at reasoning with Techno, “Look at it, Techno. It’s just a runt, it can’t stay out in the cold like a brute like you can. Remember the ship? Your burrow? Wouldn’t you just love to bury your runt inside there where it’s blazing hot?”

That seemed to have gotten Techno’s attention, as he perked up at the mentions of runts and burrows, suddenly seeming much more willing to get back to the ship with them. At that point, the wailing had dwindled down to annoyed gurgles and warbles that sounded weirdly like Phastomian.

Wilbur let out his own gentle gurgle- a sound he remembered his mother warbling down to him whenever he did something she had thought to be cute. How was the kid even able to make Phastomian sounds? Hadn’t it just been chuffing like a Piglin just a few minutes before?

The baby then chuffed, and Wilbur decided that it would just remain a fucking enigma.

He turned around, taking comfort in the cold feeling of sweeping his tail across the snow as he made his way over to the things they had taken out to identify and search the ship. Wilbur started to pack it all up, folding components into each other, dismantling others, and unplugging devices until he was left with inconspicuous metal blocks and poles that he could easily and seamlessly fit inside of Aceraze.

“I don’t care if we have to get rid of the bodies and dismantle the ship, I’m not doing that shit with a baby out here,” Wilbur found himself telling Phil, who had looked on in confusion as Wilbur took apart his setup.

“Right, I didn’t even think about that… Well, I can probably get started at least clearing out the bodies so they don’t start attracting diseases. I still would need to get back to the ship to grab my quarantine suit,” The Elytrian said with a look towards the crash, clearly unsure about what he should be doing.

Wilbur didn’t really care, if he was honest. He only really cared about getting that baby away from the cold, and getting Techno to calm down.

“Techno! Come on, we’re going!” Wilbur called to the Piglin as he settled down on Aceraze, before glancing back at Phil with a short salute, “Do what you want, we’re going back to the ship, and hopefully I’ll be able to get Techno back to normal over there.”

Techno stumbled over from where he’d been sitting, the bundle still in his arms as he settled down on the back of the bike, a blank look in his eyes as he pressed the baby tightly against his chest. Wilbur was, at the very least, glad that Techno was aware enough that he knew to hold the baby correctly so it wouldn’t just fly out of his arms on the trip back to the ship.

Once he was sure that all the supplies were safely locked in place, and his poor old Piglin friend was adequately secured with the baby tucked between them, Wilbur revved up the engine and took off, allowing his bike to sweep across the sea of glowing white snow. 

It wasn’t even half a shift after he had first taken off that Wilbur found himself wooping and warbling into the wind flying past them. Baby or not, crashed ship or not, Wilbur felt so free when he could just ride around at top speed! 

No care in the world, just the wind pushing against his face and the endless fields that surrounded them. He nearly let out a disappointed trill when he opened his eyes and caught sight of the Ant’arcick in the distance- black and white metal glinting in the sunlight as he approached it. When the bike came to a full stop, Wilbur had barely even stepped off of it to find Techno already inside the ship, speed walking towards the decontamination chamber.

“Well, at least he’s decontaminating- he must not be so deep in his instincts,” Wilbur couldn’t help but mumble to himself.

It was pretty comedic- after he’d put his bike away in the bay, Wil followed behind Techno, matching his steps to the Piglin’s as he watched him wander around the ship. It almost looked like he was lost, with the way he was stumbling around. Eventually, Techno found his bedroom, and Wilbur laughed to himself when the engineer stepped into the room and started to dig through his burrow, displacing blankets and comforters in the approximate shape of the baby.

Techno was really taking his time, too- meticulously placing and adjusting the blankets around in the burrow before he finally relaxed enough to put the baby down in the center of all that. Finally, Wilbur was able to get a good look at it, now that it wasn’t tightly wrapped in Techno’s cloak.

It was clearly an extragalactic species- Wilbur had never seen anything quite like it. It was a bit similar to a piglin, with pinkish-orangish skin and a fur crest on the top of its head- but that was really it when it came to the resemblance. Its skin was much paler, smoother, and thinner than a piglin- an odd evolutionary quirk, considering that meant its species probably relied on clothing, rather than using it to enhance their abilities.

It was hard to tell, but its nose was short and stubby, with nostrils pointing downwards rather than outwards- unusual, but oddly efficient, as that meant its breathing system was more protected from debris in the air. Its mouth was a little, puckered line of slightly darker, brighter pink- whenever the baby would open its mouth to babble or warble, its lack of teeth was rather evident.

No teeth…

Wilbur turned around to stare at Techno, the Piglin seemed to have started shaking off his instincts now that the baby was in his burrow, so Wilbur was more confident speaking to him normally.

“Techno, what does the baby eat?” He asked, a bit panicked at the realization that he didn’t really know how feeding it would work out. Techno seemed just as surprised at that question, because his eyes got wide, and his pupils shrunk significantly as he started to try and think of a solution.

“Okay, well it doesn’t have teeth? So… is it a mammal? Is there a way to tell? ” Techno leaned over it and started to poke over at it, eventually giving in and checking under the soft, blue outfit that it had likely been dressed in by its parents before the ship crashed.

At the confirmation that it was probably a mammal, Wilbur rushed to the cafeteria and tried to find something, anything resembling milk that they could feed it. He would pull things out of cupboards, making a mess everywhere he placed his hands as he searched desperately for something to feed the baby.

When Phil walked into the cafeteria, mumbling something about his quarantine suit, he walked in to find a certain Wilbur Soot kneeling on the ground, entire upper body inside a cupboard as he searched for baby food.

The Elytrian’s resounding laughter shocked Wilbur out of his search, and he poked his head out of the cupboard to raise an eyebrow at Phil. 

“Why are you laughing? This is serious, we need to be able to feed this baby!” Wilbur asked, feeling a few of his crests expanding outward just to show the pilot how annoyed he was right then and there. Phil just chuckled louder as he stepped over the several piles of dishes Wil had left strewn about the floor.

“Mate, relax- think about this for one second. What do we have in the ship in case of emergencies where we run out of food?” The Elytrian asked with a bright smile on his face, one hand on Wilbur’s shoulder as he pulled Wil along with him through a hallway. Wilbur tried to think about the question Phil asked him, searching through his memory for anything similar to what he had just suggested.

Emergencies where they would run out of food… Wilbur was sure he read something about that in the urgency manual, back when he had first joined the crew and had been legally obligated to learn the ship’s emergency functions. He couldn’t remember, for the life of him, what they did when they ran out of food.

Wilbur turned his head to look at Phil, and cringed at the sight of a disappointed stare from the Elytrian, perfectly imitating that of a disgruntled father.

“Wilbur, you’re supposed to remember this,” Phil just sighed, tapping on a panel and opening a door so he could lead Wilbur inside a room he didn’t normally need to go into- where they kept the heating filters and backup breathing pumps, “Wilbur, the paloson.”

The name didn’t ring a bell, but Wilbur still nodded along to what Phil said, ignoring the sound of the Elytrian sighing as he walked over to the machine built into the wall, giving it a quick scan before he turned to look at the pilot, and with an enthusiastic smile, “I have no idea what this is!”

Phil’s laughter in response to his exclamation just made Wilbur smile brighter, until the Elytrian moved past him and started typing things into the screen, speaking at the same time, “The paloson is a backup device that provides vitamins and nutrients in a liquid state- it’s for emergencies only, and it’s not very filling, but it should be a good replacement for now until one of us gets some formula from the town.”

Wilbur simply let out a low hum of agreement, watching silently as he watched Phil input various nutrients and vitamins, and the machine dispensed a viscous, reddish liquid into a cup. 

The next shift or two were spent with Wilbur and Techno struggling to feed the baby without a baby bottle. At first, they had tried to spoon-feed it a nutrient jelly, but it seemed like the baby was just too young to consume solids, because it would just spit out anything hard that they put in its mouth. It wouldn’t close its mouth when they tried to pour the regular liquid into it, so they eventually had to resort to using a syringe (minus the needle) to slowly but surely “inject” the nutrients in the baby’s mouth.

After the baby had been fed and tucked into Techno’s burrow, it was time for Wilbur to go off to the nearby town, a list of items in his hand, and his prime card in his pocket, hundreds of spare primes ready to be spent.

It had taken him less time to get to the town on his bike than it had to get to the crash, so in just half a shift, Wilbur had already arrived to the small, snowy town, his bike parked and locked in a ship-lot before he started for the series of stores he could try out.

His first stop, the food market, had him stumbling around awkwardly, trying to spot anything resembling what Phil wrote down on his shopping list. After a good half shift of just walking around aimlessly, a local walked up to him, first speaking in her language before Wilbur thought to turn on the translator on his comm.

“Do you know where to find formula to feed a baby?” He asked awkwardly, feeling the cold sensation of his phosphors changing to a yellow colour- hopefully, the Peridosian didn’t know that meant he was embarrassed- that would just be that much more embarrassing.

“Oh, yes! Follow me” She said, the more robotic voice of his comm translating what she was saying.

Another half shift later, and officially almost two whole shifts into his shopping trip, Wilbur left the food market with formula, baby food, three bottles, and something the Peridosian had called a “pacifier”, which was apparently very popular in mammal babies. Apparently the small, squishy device was soothing… somehow.

Wilbur didn’t know- he needed all the help he could get.

His next stop had been a clothing store which- well, it hadn’t really ended how he would’ve liked. Really, Wilbur should have known he wouldn’t find what he needed for the baby- the only things that really fit were swaddling scarves and bags- everything else was either too big, or too form-fitting. He decided to settle for the scarves and bags- at least the baby would be comfortable, then moved to go back to the ship, exhausted by his little shopping trip and hoping for some time to himself.

Wilbur drove home, letting out low, content warbles as he let Aceraze glide across the snowy plains of Peridose.

After that, the next prota spent on the planet was both hectic and therapeutic, as the SBI took turns staying at the ship or going out to work on taking apart the crash site. The one disturbance was when, while the whole crew was sitting around the dinner table, enjoying their food, and the baby was laying in a handmade bassinet nearby, a certain topic came up that had all three men arguing like children.

“Their name should be Theseus! They were the crash’s sole survivor, they deserve the name of a great Piglin warrior!”

“Mate, we shouldn’t use traditional names if the three of us are their acting guardians, that won’t be fair to the rest of us. I think Innit would be a great choice- it’s galactian, so no traditional conflict, and it’s gender-neutral, since we don’t know how their species identifies gender.”

“I think Tonna is good though, they look like a Tonna”

“Wilbur, they look nothing like a Phastome, how in the cosmos would they ‘look like a Tonna’?”

“Boys, will you stop arguing? Here’s a thought- we each call them by whatever name we want, and whichever one they start using for themself, we will officially make it their name. It shouldn’t take that long for them to start talking.”

The three crew members turned in sync to look at the babbling infant near the table; they were wriggling around in place, kicking their feet in the air, completely unaware of the arguing adults sitting around the table near them.

-------------------

It was the middle of the night cycle for both Wilbur and Techno, so Phil was on baby duty, since the planet didn’t match up at all with Phil’s sleeping cycle. He wasn’t thrilled to be in charge of taking care of the little alien- it just wasn’t as cute as Wilbur and Techno made it seem like it was. They were. He had to stop calling them an it .

He had been busy, writing out a report on the remnants of the crashed ship, updating the mayor on the progress they had made and on the questions and answers they would get the more they worked on the ship.

They finally found the remains of the other crew members- it had been a mystery before, finding one crew member dead in their sleep, and passengers dead in their sleep chambers. A ship couldn’t run on just one crew, after all. It was only when they had excavated most of the ship’s remains that they found the engine and storage unit, with three alien corpses, crushed and burnt to a crisp by what seemed to be the cause of the crash- a boiler explosion that severely damaged the entire lower portion of the ship, causing a major malfunction across the whole vehicle.

They’d also found some more clothes for Innit in one of the thankfully intact storage lockers, though the range of clothes were basically just for either a baby or what was probably an adult, so it wasn’t a long-term solution to the clothing issue.

Either way, he wrote a report to the mayor, making a clear note that there was only one survivor, and that they had been placed in the SBI’s custody. He preferred not to be too specific, in hopes that the mayor wouldn’t demand to keep the child in their town. Phil wouldn’t have really minded leaving them, but Techno had seriously imprinted on Innit, to the point where he would take the kid everywhere with him- Phil had been forced to follow Techno into the engine room every day to make sure Innit wouldn’t be taken into the dangerous room.

Phil’s work was interrupted by a loud cry that echoed throughout the entire ship- He let out a long, drawn-out sigh before he got up to his feet, rubbing at the space between his eyes as he stumbled through the corridor- the darkness was really fucking with Phil’s sleep cycle- he couldn’t sleep, but his body reacted to the darkness by making him drowsy and clumsy anyway.

He entered the main sitting room, which they had allocated to Innit so they could all reach them without waking up anyone else. Also because Wilbur and Techno were fighting over who could have the baby in their room.

Phil walked over to the bassinet, leaning over it to stare at the little baby- he just couldn’t understand what the others liked so much about them- they were just a little ball of flesh, incapable of doing anything by themself. Even Elytrian babies could walk a few days after birth, absorbing the information around them at an incredible speed.

Sure, Phil had always wanted to be a father- when Kristin had been able to join him on missions, they would often talk to each other about the future, about the kids they could have once they settled down more. 

Then, Kristin had fallen sick, and Phil had to work alone in the ship to go about his missions. She had returned to Elytra to recover somewhere more stable, eventually getting better, at the cost of her fertility, the medicine necessary having destroyed her body’s ability to create life. 

Her mental recovery was what had her staying on the planet after that- with Phil acting as their sole breadwinner, gathering a crew and coming to visit as often as he could muster between jobs. Now, here he was, staring down at a little alien baby, which he had adopted without even speaking to her about it-...

He had never spoken to Kristin about Innit-

Phil shot up from where he had been sitting, absent-mindedly feeding Innit as his thoughts had spiraled down all on their own. He was a married man for cosmos’ sake! He’d really just taken in a child like that without even speaking to his wife about it! Phil let out a distressed chirp, ear feathers twitching when he heard a small tweet in response. 

Already distressed, Phil turned around on himself, momentarily trying to find the baby that had responded to him before realizing that he had nearly fallen into his own instincts. Wide blue eyes lowered down to look at Innit, and for the first time since they had gotten the baby, Phil’s eyes met with another pair of wide, blue eyes, even brighter than his own. An Elytrian trait, unbelievably rare among other species.

He couldn’t stop himself, Phil let out a low croon and lowered himself down to the baby’s height, picking them up, and before he could even think about it, Phil started to chirp and trill an Elytrian lullaby as he rocked the baby in his arms, petting the beautifully shiny golden curls on top of their head. God, he’d already fallen in deep, hadn’t he?

Paternal instincts took over, and the ship’s pilot soon found himself shuffling about the sitting room, baby in one arm, tiny head snuggled up in the crook of his neck as he stacked blankets and pillows on top of each other, allowing what was instinctually ingrained in his mind to take over as he built a nest that he could really puff his chest out for.

If Wilbur and Techno woke up in the morning to find Phil curled up in a nest in the sitting room, wings wrapped around himself and the little baby they had all fallen for, then none of them decided to comment on it.

Chapter Text

The SBI had not been prepared for their takeoff after spending a whole 4 protas on Peridose, no matter how much they attempted to make their chaos look organised.

The sounds of thudding hooves, talons, and claws filled the halls of the ship on the day they were meant to shoot back off into space, panicked chatters filling the usual silence as the three members of the Ant’arcik’s crew tried to prepare adequately.

All the while, a tiny, chubby figure could always be found babbling to itself in one of their bedrooms, wrapped up in all kinds of burrows, nests, and cubbies, happily chattering along as the days went on. What had at first been a golden peach fuzz decorating the top of their head soon grew into soft, fluffy golden curls, still short, but just beginning to brush at the very top of their forehead.

After shifts and shifts of fighting over who got to coddle their new baby, the crew had to eventually give in and make a schedule for who got to hang around them everyday, so they wouldn’t end up killing each other and leaving the baby to fend for themself.

The day of their takeoff, it had been Techno’s turn with Theseus, meaning he got to be the one to hold Theseus when they were all strapped into their seats.

“Charting the course to Herostin moon 3, once the ship is fully out of the Peridosian atmosphere, it will take us an additional 3 protas to get there, so I suggest we go to the Topi rest stop halfway there,” Wilbur droned on, listing off the information either displayed on his screen, or that he considered necessary for the trip. Phil nodded along to the info and pulled up the course on his own panel- it was Techno’s turn now.

“The engines are fully functional and fuel tanks have been filled thanks to the solar panels I had set out. We should be alright for the full trip, though it would be beneficial to stop at Topi just in case,” Techno said- they all knew this information, of course, but standard protocol wasn’t something that was easily forgotten, and as such, the whole crew continued with their useless routine. 

Techno glanced down at Theseus’ sleeping face, letting out a low chuff at the peaceful look in the baby’s sleeping face. He had dug around through his old Netherian clothes, eventually finding a beautiful red and orange shawl that worked perfectly as a swaddle for Theseus that he could attach to his body, all while also wrapping up the baby in the warm, spiced scents of Nether that still clung to the fabric.

He didn’t care how ridiculous he might have looked, with the little baby swaddled against his chest as if he was a nursing sow. Wilbur and Phil’s chuckles hadn’t done anything to his pride, especially since he was the one with the baby in his arms.

Take that! 

The ship started to rumble as Phil started up the systems, his wings spread out to help him keep his balance- if it wasn’t for his Elytrian origins, he would have surely opted for a regular seat and seatbelt like the rest of his crew. Unfortunately for the rest of the SBI, Phil needed to find a way to take care of his instincts, and being trapped in a ship for long periods of time didn’t allow him to fly around. The closest way he could simulate flying was by driving the ship while completely unstrapped to anything, black feathers splayed out around him so the air would push through them.

Wilbur let out an excited trill when they could all feel gravity start to affect them differently, Phil chirped loudly when the ship started speeding up, and Techno held Theseus tighter against his chest when the rumbling made his entire body shake from the inside out.

He spent the next 2 shifts clutching Theseus tightly in his arms, warmth filling in his chest as he looked down at the babbling baby, who seemed much too happy about the shaking and shuddering of the ship breaking several layers of the planet’s atmosphere, slowly but surely picking up speed as gravity stopped affecting them. 

Techno found his stomach turning on itself during the brief moment when there was no gravity on the ship, weightlessness hitting him hard before the ship’s gravity module finally kicked in and he could finally press his full body weight into his seat.

Unfortunately for the entire crew, the sudden weight change also seemed to affect Theseus, because an ear-piercing wail almost immediately sounded through the stardeck, making all three members of the SBI turn to look at the red-faced baby. 

A small line of a red, viscous liquid slowly dripped from Theseus’s nose, and panic immediately flooded the ship as the three adults rushed to their aid.

“Wilbur! Search in the database for any possible reason this could be happening! Techno try to calm them down, I’m gonna set us on autopilot and grab some stuff from the medbay!” With that, Phil basically flew out of the stardeck, leaving his two panicked crewmates to figure things out on their own. 

Theseus kept on screaming and crying, the blood on their face still dripping abundantly down their chin and staining the soft green blanket they had been swaddled in. Now that the blanket was soiled, Techno felt no shame when he grabbed a part of the soft fabric and pressed it to Theseus’s nose, trying to ignore how the crying got louder for a moment, then quieter when the baby started to breathe raggedly through their mouth, wheezing and whimpering.

“Okay okay, Techno, I’m gonna just list out reasons this could be happening, and you just have to stop me at anything that could make sense.” Wilbur said, trilling nervously before he spoke up again, reading the results that had popped up on the database.

“Teething?”

“No, their mouth seems completely fine”

“Growing?”

“They’re the same size”

“Can they breathe?”

“Yep”

“Are they cold? Warm?”

“I think their temperature is fine”

“Did they get dropped anywhere? Hit their head?”

“ I’m the one holding them, obviously not”

“Right, right…”

There was a moment of silence as Wilbur tried to narrow down his search in another direction.

“What if it’s not a baby thing, but it has more to do with their species?”

Wilbur seemed to think the idea through for a moment before he let out a low warble, entire body tensing up as he seemed to be hit with a moment of realisation.

“Techno, at what age can Piglins be taken off-planet for the first time?” Wilbur asked, turning slightly to look at his fellow crewmate.

“We’re acclimated to the process as part of our schooling, why do you want to kno-” Techno’s eyes grew wide with realisation as he stared at Wilbur, then the baby, then Wilbur again, “Wilbur, we’re complete morons!”

Wilbur let out another trill, sounding very much like laughter as he tapped his comm and spoke to Phil through it, “Phil, they’re just not acclimated to space travel- get something for the pressure change.”

Techno could hear a relieved sigh sound out on Phil’s side of the comm, and he felt his limbs relax significantly as he held Theseus- Theseus, who had calmed down almost fully, tiny hands grabbing at the blanket on their face, pushing with all their tiny baby strength against Techno’s hand keeping it there. 

He cooed softly and pulled the blanket off of their nose, surprised to find that the bleeding had already stopped almost fully, only the slightest dribble of blood remaining, though that was gone just as fast when Theseus swiped the blood off their face and stuck their hand in their mouth with no care for how unhygienic that was.

“They’re like a blood warrior… they really don’t care about their face being covered in blood.” Techno muttered softly as he rocked the baby slowly back and forth in his arms, chuffing in satisfaction when the red in their face slowly shifted back to that nice peach colour it normally was.

Then Phil burst back into the room, chirping and trilling anxiously as he moved over to Theseus, effectively waking up the baby as he started fussing over them. His wings were all fluffed up as he gently started to massage Theseus’s head and neck, then looked over their nose to make sure there wasn’t anything outwardly wrong with it.

Now that the baby wasn’t shrieking like a banshee, it was easier for the group to think clearly, the cause for Theseus’s outburst clearly being due to the cabin pressure.

It was silent in the stardeck for several minutes, until a small voice broke the silence with small barks that sounded strangely like laughter.

All eyes turned to the source of the chaos, who was laughing and babbling to themself, unaware of the eyes on them.

With a sigh, Phil got up to his feet, flapping his wings once to regain his balance.

Then, the main terminal rang with the sound of a single person’s communication tone.

Phil turned to the terminal, crooning softly at the image of his wife’s smiling face, before all the blood drained from his face as he turned back to the baby behind him.

“I… forgot to tell Kristin about this…”

-------------------

The crew scurried to clean up the stardeck, Techno hurriedly wrapping Theseus in a new, clean blanket and cleaning the blood off their face with the help of a damp cloth. Wilbur straightened out his outfit, sticking a badge to his chest that he had not worn in half an orbit.

Phil tried and failed to smooth his feathers down properly before the call was automatically accepted (a feature that had been granted to Kristin, as the ex-commander of the starship).

Her face appeared on the screen, wide violet eyes paired with speckled brown, black, white, and violet feathers framing her face, pure white and light brown feathers being the only ones accentuating her facial features. She was wearing traditional Elytrian wear, made up of colourful, cool-toned flowing fabrics that hugged her best features, and trailed down elegantly against the rest of her body and limbs. Her wings were much bigger than Phil’s, neatly tucked against her back, much smoother and better maintained than her husband’s own wingspan.

“Hi Phil! And boys, how are you doing? I haven’t sent a transmission in so long, how dare you stay planet-locked for that many protas?” She was trilling between each word she spoke, excitement clear in her tone and her body language.

“Kris! Hey, right, so you know how we’ve been planet-locked for a while, so I had no way of contacting you? Right, of course you know, ‘cause you just mentioned it, right, right.. Well there was an… unexpected development during the mission…”

The smile on Kristin’s face slipped away as she stopped and scanned their facial expressions, eyebrows narrowed slightly as she realised that they were sporting various nervous, guilty, and uncomfortable facial expressions. Her eyes stopped when they landed on Techno, who was still stuck sitting there, baby tucked away in his shawl, tiny face pressed up against his chest.

“Why is Techno wearing a tierasan ? Hah, there’s no reason he’s wearing a nursing shawl, is there?” Kristin asked with a short laugh, freezing once again when no one laughed along, their facial expressions darkening as realisation seemed to make its way on her own face.

Her expression hardened then, and the entire crew froze as she turned her glare onto Phil, the other Elytrian shrinking back slightly at the intensity of her glare.

“Philza, why is Techno wearing a nursing shawl?”

“Right, well, you know how we went to take care of a UFO crash on Peridose? Yeah, well.. Apparently it was aliens that crashed there! And, hah, funny story! There was only one survivor…!”

Kristin’s eyes flicked between Techno and Phil, “The only survivor was.. Small enough to fit in a tierasan?”

“Kristin, I tried not to get attached, for you, but, well… It’s just a baby! A little hatchling! It has Elytrian eyes..”

Kristin’s demeanour softened slightly at the mention of Elytrian eyes- she knew as much as Phil did that blue eyes were a rarity.

“Show it to me.”

Phil tensed visibly, “Are you sure? I don’t want you to-”

“Honey, with all due respect, shut the fuck up. Now show me the baby.”

No one dared go against her orders, and Techno found himself standing up and walking to the monitor that displayed Kristin’s point of view. He untangled Theseus from his shawl, turning them around to look at the camera- at Kristin.

It was instantaneous, the way her pupils dilated outwards until the purple colour of her irises was barely even visible.

Her reaction was enough for the atmosphere in the room to relax once more, and Techno found himself going back to his seat, settling down on it as Phil and Kristin spoke to each other- both about the baby, and about life in general.

“What are you naming it?”

“Not sure yet, we’re not really in agreement with each others’ name choices; Techno wants to name them after a Netherian warrior, so Theseus- Wil wants a Phastomian name, Tonna, and I think we should stick with Galactian and use Innit. We kind of just settled for letting them choose whatever name they want.”

Kristin’s deadpan stare didn’t bode well for the truce they had set up between them, as she soon spoke up again, “You’re all morons. You do realise that unless you choose a name for them soon, they won’t be considered a real person by the federation? Give them a name for their records, at the very least. Choose something that could be short or long for the nicknames you decide to use.”

Something then sounded out behind Kristin- she turned around, said something that wasn’t picked up by the terminal, then winked at them and ended the call with a final comment.

“Love you boys”

-------------------

The sighs of relief released after that call could be felt and heard throughout the entire ship, and soon enough, the SBI crew went back to their usual duties, now adapted to also care for the fourth crewmember.

After the call, Techno was forced to give up Tonna so he could go perform his routine checks and fix up what needed to be fixed in the engine room- aka, one of the few rooms that the baby was most definitely not allowed to enter.

Which meant that Wilbur finally had Tonna privileges.

Wilbur decided to take this time to take care of something that has been waiting 6 protas to be done.

With Tonna in one arm, sleeping soundly with their little face pressed against Wilbur’s chest, Wilbur used one hand to type down a certain call ID in his terminal, making sure to set it so it would only display on his terminal, and not on the stardeck’s main monitor.

A few seconds of fumbling later, Wilbur was met with the face of an old friend.

With scales and two sets of eyes similar to Wilbur’s, they could be mistaken for the same species- though, while Wilbur was a Phastome, one of the few amphibian races from his home planet, Eret was a Sheron, a fully aquatic, carnivorous species that tended to reside in the deeper waters of their home planet.

“ Wilbur, to what do I owe the pleasure? ” A deep voice spoke out through the terminal; the machine having been set to not translate Merlan, Wilbur found himself relaxing considerably as he responded in the same language as Eret.

“ Hey Eret, I’ve got a little… something I need your help with. With pay, of course!” Wilbur noticed Eret’s ear fins twitching slightly with interest- probably at the idea of a job.

“ What might that thing be? You know I’m a busy person- though I have to admit I’m a bit intrigued- I know I made your crew’s outfits to last.”

Wilbur laughed softly and held Tonna up to the display, showing off the completely passed out child to the Sheron on the other side of the monitor. A soft coo could be heard from Eret’s side of the call, and Wilbur held Tonna back against his chest as he continued the conversation.

“ They are… and unknown species- the ship they were on crashed, and they were the only survivor. The main issue here is we need to get clothes made for them before they start really growing- so far their growth is manageable, but we don’t know how long that’ll last,” Eret nodded along to the explanation, a slight shimmer appearing in their eyes at the prospect of being able to create all new clothes for an unknown species.

“I see… How far are you from Pirolos? Come by my boutique when you can, and I’ll take the kid’s measurements. I think… this’ll be a good investment.” Wilbur was thrilled- he couldn’t wait to tell Phil that he’d settled that issue they’d been so worried about!

“Thank you so much Eret! I absolutely owe you- give me a price, I’ll pay it, 100%!” Eret barely let out a low chirp before Wilbur hung up the call without another word, crooning with pride as he settled to actually do his work.

Meanwhile, Tonna was just staring up at him- bright blue eyes wide with intelligence. Their tiny golden eyebrows were furrowed with concentration before they crooned back at Wilbur.

Happy-Excited-Confident

Now, so far, Tonna had been making a lot of different noises that sounded a lot like the instinctual sounds the SBI would make- but this was the first time Wilbur heard such a convincing sound come from the baby.

It was as if Tonna had actually spoken to Wilbur. In a slightly broken accent, sure, but Tonna had just honest-to-god spoken to him!

-------------------

Wilbur walked around the ship for the next few shifts, crooning, warbling, and vwooping at Tonna and listening intently as the baby got better at imitating the noises he made. His job completely forgotten, he only snapped out of his baby haze when he bumped into Philza’s back, making the older man screech with shock and jump forwards, away from the sudden contact.

“Oh, sorry Phil!” Phil turned around, eyes wide before a bright smile spread across his face when his eyes zoned in on the baby in Wilbur’s arms.

“Oh, Innit, such a sweet baby..!” Phil trilled, picking Tonna out of Wilbur’s grasp and twirling around with the baby, letting out a soft chirp as he hugged him.

Then another chirp responded, and both of them froze. Wilbur didn’t know why he was surprised at the noise the baby made, but apparently that noise had been enough to pull Phil even deeper into the baby fever that had infected the entire crew, because he let out a long, low croon that Wilbur recognized immediately as a parent Elytrian’s call.

“Phil, they don’t know what you’re saying-” 

Wilbur was easily interrupted when Tonna responded to Phil’s call with a high, squeaky sound that was so unbelievably similar to a baby Elytrian that Phil immediately went down, crooning and trilling softly as he wrapped his wings around himself to cover the baby in his arms.

Yeah, this mimicking thing was not going to end well if they couldn’t get a hold on their instincts soon.

It took Wilbur a whole half shift to wrestle Phil back out from his instincts, Tonna laughing and giggling the entire time- the little fucker.

“This kid… they’re really something, aren’t they?” Phil said as he got up from the floor, his feathers all ruffled carelessly from curling up on the floor with the baby.

“Oh yeah, definitely- I have the feeling that Tonna’s going to be quite a pain in the ass when they get a bit older,” Wilbur said as he stared down into Tonna’s eyes, the baby not making any effort to avoid eye contact despite Wilbur being so much bigger than them.

It felt so weird, staring down at this chubby, babbling baby and realising that they were a predator species, an unapologetic fact considering their eyes were front-facing like everyone else on the SBI crew.

Wilbur pushed the thought of the kid’s instincts going wild out of his head and spoke up again, “Right, I spoke to Eret, and they agreed to make clothes for the kid- we’d just have to stop by their boutique like… every half-orbit or so for them to adjust their clothing patterns and sizes.”

“That’s wonderful news! Did they like Innit? Do they know what species they are?”

Wilbur sighed as he adjusted his grip on the baby, “They did really like Tonna, but Tonna’s species is still a complete mystery- I’m pretty sure they’re actually completely new to the galaxy at this point, because Eret lives in one of the most diverse moon bases in this district.”

Phil seemed to be mulling that information over for a few moments before he sighed and started to walk towards the stardeck, “Come on, let’s get to the stardeck- we can still alter the trajectory in the direction of Pirolos instead of Herostin”

Wilbur grinned as he followed behind Phil, eventually entering the stardeck and taking a few moments to type down the new coordinates on his terminal. He checked the trajectory, humming softly as he tried to find a rest stop at a decent point between their location and the destination.

“We could try to hold out for two protas and stop at Yres, or we can stop at both Yres and Ruthord, and make the trip 4 protas long instead of 3,” Wilbur said as he scanned the calculations on the screen, double and triple checking that this would be the only way they could make the trip.

“Let’s make the two stops- Techno definitely won’t like it, but it’ll help get Innit used to air pressure changes, and we can stay stocked up on baby supplies.”

Wilbur hummed in agreement and added the information to the navigation system, “Okay, so we’ll be stopping at Ruthord in one prota, and Yres in two and a half.”

Down in the engine, Techno had felt and heard the change in direction, as the thrusters shifted slightly to angle the ship more up and to the left. With a swipe across his forehead to remove the sweat that had built up at his hairline, the Piglin moved to the console on the room’s wall, tapping the screen until he could see the comm logs.

Nothing- no news. 

Why did they change direction, then? He may not have been the navigator, but Techno knew that they only ever needed to change thruster directions like that when they were either avoiding debris or a celestial body, which were both unlikely, because he would definitely have been told about it if that were the case, or if they changed the ship’s course.

With one last check at the pressure pumps lining the northern wall, Techno confirmed that everything was working fine before he stepped back out of the engine room, pulling on his cloak with the change in gravity and temperature that hit him everytime he went from the hall to the room or vice-versa.

As he walked towards the stardeck, lo and behold, he ran right into Wilbur at a hall intersection.

“Wil, watch where you’re goi-” Whatever word he had been saying died in his throat when he came face to face with round blue eyes and golden fur.

“Are you really gonna try and scold me when your little Theseus is right here? For shame Techno, for shame,” The Phastome trilled, a stupid grin stretching over his features- clearly proud of himself for being an annoying little shit.

Too bad Techno was just better than him.

He plucked Theseus out of Wilbur’s hands with ease, clutching the baby against his shoulder as he kept walking, ignoring the confused sounds Wil was making behind him when he realised how easily he had been robbed of his baby.

With confident steps and long strides, Techno made his way all the way up to the stardeck, huffing with slight relief when he saw it was indeed Phil at the ship’s controls.

“Why did we change course? We literally just took off.”

Phil turned to glance at him, the easy smile on his face doing the rest of the work in easing Techno’s worries.

“Don’t worry mate, we decided to take a bit of a longer route and head to Pirolos so we could pay Eret a visit. They agreed to provide Innit with some much needed clothes as they grow.”

Techno pulled Theseus back slightly from his shoulder, looking the baby up and down to try and discern if they really needed to make this detour for clothes, of all things. Theseus looked… alright.

“Babbab,” Theseus said

Techno agreed, this detour was a load of babbab. Probably.

Okay so maybe they were very close to needing to remove the little foot cover part of the baby’s one-piece outfits, as they were starting to get a bit too big for them… but Techno just really did not feel like making a bunch of stops just to get clothes.

He sighed, pressing Theseus back against his chest.

“ Fine, I guess we can go see Eret.”

“Techno, we also need other stuff- like asking how to take care of a baby,” Phil said with a long sigh, defeat showing itself as his wings dropped slightly.

Oh- Yeah, maybe that one was a good point.

“Alright, alright! I’m done with the engine anyway, so I guess I’ll hang around here with you and Theseus.”

“Sure mate, do whatever you want,” Phil said with a laugh as he turned back to whatever he was doing on his console- probably texting Kristin, if the little flushed tone tinting his skin meant anything.

Techno sat down at his seat, Theseus settled down in his lap, leaning heavily on Techno’s forearm as the Piglin chuffed softly and pulled up his personal display. It was filled to the brim with old Netherian stories- myths that Techno had grown up reading and absorbing feverishly.

They weren’t very… family friendly, per say, but if he just censored the worst bits, they made for good bedtime stories.

Probably.

Theseus blinked up at him, and Techno started to speak.

“Let me begin to sing of the Muses of Helikon, who abide on the great and holy Mount Helikon.-”

When Techno fell asleep before Theseus did, no one made any comments. Phil simply placed the baby in one of the makeshift bassinets decorating the ship, and allowed the Piglin to sleep soundly in his seat.

The shudders of a ship sustaining itself in space, the gentle hums of musical creatures singing to themselves, and the babbles of an alien infant filled the empty space as their journey began.

Chapter Text

“Theseus, get back here!”

The resounding thuds of hoofsteps could be heard throughout the ship as a certain Piglin- not even donning his signature red cloak- chased an infant around the ship. An infant, by the way, that should not have been able to crawl so fast.

The SBI were almost at their destination, only a few rotations away from Pirolos, and the headaches among the crew were starting to manifest much faster than had been expected when Theseus decided to learn to crawl. 

And not the slow crawling that Technoblade would recognize in young children- this kid was zooming through the ship at mach speed, using the soft material of his clothes to just slide across the slippery ship floors whenever he didn’t feel like moving his tiny limbs anymore. 

Yes, he.

Techno had felt like a complete idiot, searching through creature databases to find something at least somewhat similar to Theseus- it didn’t feel right to remain completely ignorant to the kid’s biological gender- they had no idea when Theseus would be old enough to establish his own identity- and if being raised neutrally would affect the kid’s psyche negatively.

So he spent a whole night cycle scouring books and online databases until he found an extinct creature that had previously lived on the outskirts of the Forense region. 

There were slight differences, of course, but the main anatomy that Techno had been looking into was similar enough to Theseus that he used that as a reference, and the whole crew started to refer to the kid as a male.

Back to the situation at hand, however, Techno was busy chasing the gremlin down the halls.

He wanted to deal with this as much as Theseus did, honestly, but the kid reeked- Wilbur complained enough about the smell for Techno to be sure of that.

So, a bath was in order- whether Theseus was willing or not.

Theseus was not willing.

So now Techno was stuck trying to catch the little shit, stumbling through the ship, hooves banging down on the metal flooring and making a racket. If he hadn’t already woken up Wilbur with his shenanigans, he definitely would have by now.

Soon enough, he managed to corner Theseus in a hallway where all the doors were closed, and he scooped him up before the little shit could crawl between his legs. Whatever alien species Theseus belonged to, their endurance was insane.

Once he was secured in Techno’s arms, Theseus almost immediately started to shriek and cry, squirming around to try and dislodge himself from the Piglin’s firm grip around his tiny body.

Techno didn’t let go, however, and off he went to give this kid a proper bath- as much as they both probably loathed it.

Out of fear of a possible water allergy- like Enderians had- the SBI had been settling with dust baths and general preening. Unfortunately for them, they soon found out the hard way that Theseus definitely needed water to be cleaned properly.

With a shrieking and wailing child tucked tightly against his chest. Techno stomped over to the water room- it was mainly reserved for Wilbur, who needed to hydrate his whole body rather often due to his amphibious nature, but they’d all agreed that it was worth bringing Theseus in if it meant not having to smell him every shift.

He entered the room, shivering as he stepped in and felt the colder air and lighter gravity settle over him. Theseus’s crying relaxed for a moment, the baby seeming momentarily confused at the change in his atmosphere.

“There, that’s a good shoat,” Techno mumbled, when Theseus finally relaxed fully, the cries turning to small whines and babbles.

He made quick work of undressing the baby, his pajamas already having become almost too small- suddenly Techno was glad that they were stopping by Eret’s place, because Theseus was definitely growing faster than he’d expected.

Techno carried Theseus over to the basin filled with warm water, and gently settled the baby inside of it, holding him up carefully so he wouldn’t fall backwards into the water. Since they didn’t know if Theseus could breathe underwater, they decided he couldn’t be there unsupervised until he was at least aware of his basic instincts.

Techno took his time with cleaning Theseus, gently lathering him up with nice-smelling soap, carefully avoiding getting anywhere near the baby’s eyes and mouth.

Through the bathtime, Techno quickly learned that Theseus absolutely loved the water. The little alien wouldn’t stop slapping his hands against the still surface of the water, making it splash all over himself and Techno. Coming from a planet notorious for its dryness, Techno found himself staring down at the baby in disappointment.

Wilbur was definitely going to be the one in charge of baths, after this.

With Theseus finally smelling good, Techno pulled him out from the water and dried him with a fluffy towel, chuffing a bit when the kid giggled at the feeling of being tickled by the soft fabric. Now clean and dry, Theseus was much more relaxed than he had been before his bath, his head bobbing up and down in what seemed to be an attempt to stay awake.

Techno chuckled to himself as he dressed Theseus in a soft yellow shirt and a pair of black pants- complete with some straps that served to keep them up. With the final touch of a pair of socks, Techno soon left the room, letting out a relieved grumble when he stepped into the warmer corridor.

Theseus was pressed against Techno’s chest, a tiny hand pressed to his mouth, lips wrapped around his thumb as he suckled peacefully on it without a care in the world- maybe he was due to be fed, too.

Techno walked through the ship, eventually making it to the kitchen hall, where he placed Theseus on the counter, the baby swaying a little before gaining his balance. The Piglin then went to work, pulling one of the premade containers of baby food out from the ice box.

After having heated up the food so it was warm (but not too warm), he scooped out a spoonful of the mushy vegetables and brought them up to the baby’s mouth, chuffing when he opened up and received a heaping portion of food.

The sounds of footsteps made Techno perk up, and he glanced towards the kitchen’s entrance, instantly recognizing Wilbur’s taller frame in the doorway.

The Phastome’s disheveled appearance made it obvious to Techno that not only had Wil just been awoken, but it was likely a rude awakening due to all of his running around on the ship. Still, Wilbur’s disgruntled expression easily gave way to excitement when he caught sight of Theseus, who was busy trying to eat his spoon.

“You’re feeding him? Come on, let me give him some too..!” Wilbur lunged forward with newfound energy, tail lashing as he tried to grab the baby food out from Techno’s hand.

Unfortunately for Techno- Wilbur was tall and fast, which matched very easily against his (while still tall) slower, tanky nature. He could only hold on to the baby food for a moment before Wil pried it from his hands and scooped out some of the food, holding it out to Theseus.

Much to Techno’s delight- Theseus kept his mouth firmly shut and turned away from the spoon. Wilbur let out an upset warble and started to baby talk the little alien, all-the-while pushing the spoon towards him.

“Come on! I just saw you eat some! Here comes the starship! Nyoooom!” With Wilbur making starship noises, Techno decided that Wilbur was now officially on baby duty, and left the two children to their business.

“Make sure to put him to bed after!” He called out behind him, chuffing to himself at the distressed warble coming from behind him when Wilbur realized that he now had to take care of the annoying baby tasks as well.

-------------------

The next few rotations were hectic as the crew prepared themselves for docking- while much less annoying than having to land down on a planet, Phil knew that both Wilbur and Techno weren’t excited about another gravity change- especially with the added worries of having to deal with a crying baby adjusting to pressure changes.

Still, they managed to dock with fewer setbacks than expected, the ship smoothly entering its docking station in the Pirolos port, settling down after a few shifts to allow the crew to unload.

Phil had been forced to split the crew into two teams- Techno, the strongest crewmember and the one with the most engineering knowledge, was tasked with selling the spare, usable parts they had gathered from the ship crash. Phil and Wilbur (much to Techno’s initial annoyance) were going to visit Eret, where they would finally have some outfits set for Theseus.

And that was another development- Phil had begrudgingly agreed that Theseus was the best name for the baby- Wilbur was still denying it, insisting on Tonna, but especially after looking into the meanings of either names, a title of strength and determination fit Theseus’ personality much more than the luck and fortune that were associated with the name Tonna. 

With baby Theseus wrapped up in Techno’s tieresan, Phil stepped off of the ship and looked around at the surrounding buildings that made up Pirolos. It was a large colony with not much space, meaning that the buildings rose up high above the ground and low underground, entrances for stores set tightly together and forcing business owners to stack luminous signs against the building walls, the store entrances getting muddled together in the process.

Since it was a moon colony, Pirolos didn’t even have a proper day and night cycle, which ended with a culture built around colourful lights everywhere, lighting paths and characterizing the different districts with specific colour palettes. There was also the glaring fact that they were in the market district, so the crowds were huge- terrible news for Phil and Wilbur, who both needed space for their distinct features.

Phil’s wings were pressed tightly against his back as he unconsciously tried to fold them out of sight and away from any possible accidental nudges or shoves. Behind him, Phil could hear Wilbur warbling anxiously at what he could assume were the many close calls with people nearly stepping on his tail- the main part of Wilbur’s tail was tough, sure, but the fins that tipped the large muscular appendage were relatively fragile, and they both knew many other galactians didn’t bother with those kinds of details from their surroundings.

After all, there were hundreds of different galactian species to keep track of- one could not be faulted for forgetting that some of them had extra limbs.

The walk to Eret’s shop didn’t take much longer, as they soon could see a familiar logo on one of the many glowing signs on a building’s side.

In pink LEDs, were the words Royal Outfitters, surrounded by shimmering berries. Surprisingly, the sign was relatively close to the entrance to Eret’s boutique, the door having a much fainter, more humble version of the logo printed on the glass.

They pushed the door open and stepped down the cramped staircase and down to one of the subterranean levels, which opened up to a larger room with pressed sewet flooring and nice light grey walls.

It was an open space, with different plush seating areas, a long, low table covered in thin magazines, and rolls of various fabrics lining the walls- none were patterned, but they all seemed to be different colours and textures. 

A buzzing noise sounded for a short moment upon their entrance, and after waiting awkwardly in the front of the room, the familiar figure of a well-dressed Sheron appeared before them from a door on the other side of the main room.

“Wilbur, I see you finally came by!” Eret said passively, grinning brightly at the visitors, “Perfect timing too, Niki’s here with her younger brother.”

“Niki? Really?” Wilbur gaped, seemingly not noticing his phosphors glowing brighter with poorly concealed excitement. The sound of a trill coming from the neighbouring room seemed to act as enough of an answer for him, because Wilbur sprinted towards the sound of his friend’s voice, easily forgetting Eret and the task at hand. 

Phil turned back to Eret, who moved closer so he could get a proper look at Theseus- the baby was oblivious, simply looking around at the colourful surroundings with bright, curious eyes.

“So, this is the little one that demands so much of your attention? I must say, his eyes are a radiant colour… almost like an Elytrian’s,” with that last word, Eret sent Phil a pointed look, which he couldn’t help but cough out a small laugh at.

“What can I say? I’m a sucker for chicks,” He said, laughing along as they walked into the other room together, where they found Wilbur hanging out with a familiar figure.

Of course, Phil remembered Niki- Eret, Wilbur, and Niki were all three from the same planet, having left their home together to explore the universe. They had eventually gotten split up when Wilbur had gotten robbed on another moon, but after Wilbur joined the SBI and became well known, they managed to find each other again.

Wilbur was a Phastome, an amphibian from their home planet- Eret was a Sheron, a fully aquatic carnivore from the depths of their ocean, and Niki was a Merling- fully aquatic like Eret, but from more shallow waters, so she could benefit from an omnivorous diet that Eret couldn’t stomach.

She was settled in the large pool that made up about half of the room, her breathing gear just within reach of where she was settled at the edge of the water. Just across from her, sat in the center of a pile of towels that caught any and all water that could make its way to them, was an infant, seemingly just a bit older than Theseus.

A baby Enderian.

“Oh, hello Niki! It’s nice to see you again- it’s been a while, hasn’t it? Who’s this?” Phil said as he settled down on the ground, unfurling his tieresan, granting Theseus his freedom for the first time since landing.

Theseus didn’t hesitate to wriggle out of the soft silks and move towards the other baby, slapping them in the back of the head with his pudgy little hand.

“Phil! It’s been so long! This is Ranboo- don’t worry, I didn’t take them in the water or anything, Puffy brought them over to hang out here with me. Mind introducing me to this little guy?”

Phil let out a small chirp as he nudged Theseus a bit away from Ranboo- the baby having been awfully close to pushing the Enderian onto the wet part of the floor, before responding.

“This is Theseus! Well, his name is still a bit of a work in progress, but yeah. He was the only survivor in a ship crash, so we decided we’d adopt him,” Phil said, chuckling at the sight of Theseus’ deadpan stare, right into his eyes, “We’re not too sure what he is- big chances that his species only just managed space travel”

Niki smiled and reached forward- hesitating for a moment before continuing on when Phil nodded in acknowledgment, allowing her to press her hand against Theseus’ little face.

“He’s adorable… You know, there’s an Enderian name that could fit him really well. I’m sure you’re fine with what you’ve chosen for him, but if you’re still unsure… Tommy means ‘golden’ in traditional Enderian.”

Wilbur perked up from where he had been lounging around behind Niki, absentmindedly enjoying the water that was probably perfectly set to mimic his planet’s. His fins flicking upwards, swatting water behind him as he spoke up, “Niki, you’re a genius! That name is perfect!”

Phil hummed as he glanced down at the baby crawling between them, golden hair shimmering in the green-tinted lights, “Yeah, it does fit him well.”

The adults all spent another shift or two talking amongst themselves, watching as Ranboo and Theseus… Tommy? Got to know each other better, babbling and warbling at each other, when they were interrupted at the sound of the boutique’s bell chiming with the opening of the front door. Everyone perked up and looked to the entrance, where Technoblade was standing, looking only a little worse for wear from his trip through the mechanics district.

He first looked at them, bright red eyes shining with mild confusion as they first locked on Ranboo, then Tommy, then all the adults sitting either on the floor, or in the water. He then glanced back at the boutique, still perfectly clean and unused.

“Did you guys.. not do anything while I was out?” Techno asked, a slight edge in his voice that Phil knew well.

Techno wasn’t just disappointed. He was irritated.

“Oh, Techno! We were just catching up a bit, after all, we haven’t seen Niki in a long time, right?”

That had been the right thing to say apparently, because Techno’s gaze softened when his eyes landed on Niki, and he huffed before coming forward and picking Tommy up. He seemed to hesitate a moment before he picked Ranboo up as well.

“Theseus needs new clothes, we’ll have plenty of time to catch up while Eret is working on that, right Eret?” Eret huffed a soft laugh and nodded, taking Techno’s hint as he got up to his feet and stepped out of the pool.

After pulling on his breathing gear with practised speed, Eret dried off and walked into the main portion of the boutique. He grabbed some measuring equipment from off a tray and settled down on a soft cushion.

Techno sat down across from Eret and handed him Tommy, allowing him to look the giggling baby over and figure out a good way of designing his clothes.

“This shouldn’t be too difficult… He’s got a very similar physique to baby Upoits, actually, so I can take patterns from them and adjust them slightly to make up for the plantigrade legs, but that shouldn’t be too time consuming,” Eret hummed to himself, adjusting Tommy on his lap as he started to write in his notebook.

“How much has he grown since you last contacted me? I want to be able to plan how far in advance I should make his clothes.”

Techno hummed a bit, looking down at Tommy and how his clothes fit him, “I think.. Half a pol? Or maybe a quarter,” Eret hummed and added a few numbers to his notebook.

The next shift or so was dedicated to measuring a fussy baby, which was definitely not as easy as it sounded. Tommy refused completely to hold the least bit still, squirming around or trying to eat the measuring tape whenever it would get anywhere near his mouth.

By the time they had finally gotten him all measured, Tommy was on the verge of tears because Eret had taken the tape away from him, Wilbur was falling asleep on one of the couches, and Phil was staring at the walls of fabric with a glint in his eye that could only entail bad things.

Techno himself was staring down at the Enderian in his arms, the baby seemed determined to eat the fur collar on his cloak, but all they could do was claw at the fur and shove air inside of their mouth.

The calm atmosphere was eventually interrupted at the sound of Eret’s holoscreen turning on on its own, showing off a broadcast with a federation member standing at attention.

There was stunned silence in the room for a few more seconds, then the fed started speaking, voice cutting through the quiet.

“With the discovery of a developing society past Sector 5B-149, the Galactic Federation has found disturbing information that will lead to an emergency quarantine between areas PDS-560, PDF-78, and PTP-90, nicknamed “Milky Way” by the locals. Contact has been attempted with the society, but the operation had to be quickly shut down after an overwhelmingly aggressive response to any sort of outside contact.”

An image appeared in place of the federation member, and all eyes in the room turned to Tommy, who was happily babbling on the couch after Eret had allowed him to keep his tape.

The image was that of an adult alien, mostly hairless save for the fur on the top of its head, with straight legs and flat feet, and a flat face that had amazing similarity to Tommy’s.

The broadcast continued.

“Named Terrans, after the name of their originating planet, they have achieved minor levels of space travel and have, on very few occasions, managed to enter federation grounds, with only two documented cases of survival. Both of these documented cases ended early on, after the Terrans displayed violent tendencies that resulted in their executions. Knowing that this can happen again, all Terrans will now be banned from the federation, and must thus be captured or killed if found on any federation-owned spaces.”

“End of Broadcast.”

Before chaos could erupt in the small boutique, Techno sighed and walked up to Eret, digging in his pocket and pulling out three chips, knowing that each chip held 200 primes. He placed them in Eret’s hand with a sigh,

“That’s for making a disguise too. Guess Theseus is going to be a little more trouble than I thought.”

Chapter Text

The panic that immediately followed after the emergency broadcast was felt through the whole group inside of the Royal Outfitters boutique, as six pairs of eyes turned to look at the babbling baby held in Eret’s arms.

Considering he was just an infant, it was no surprise that Tommy had no idea what was happening, just happily chewing on a measuring tape he’d manipulated out of Eret’s possession. Ranboo was just as painfully unaware of the situation, all of their focus having been placed on trying to stay on their two feet as they balanced against one of the couches in the room.

Techno had been the first to react, having placed money in Eret’s free hand and spoken in the same monotonous voice as usual, panic nowhere noticeable in his speech as he asked for the Sheron to add disguises to the list of outfits for Tommy.

Silence followed awkwardly after that, and Techno seemed to lose his composure at this, stumbling over his words as he raised his hands in front of his chest.

“I’m just saying, clearly, we’re going to need to get him a disguise, and we’re already barely acting in accordance with the law at times- I see nothing wrong with us breaking a few more laws if it means keeping Theseus with us.”

Phil stepped forward with a small, nervous chirp, “You’re right, Techno, don’t worry. I doubt any of us wants to get rid of Tommy- we all bonded to him.”

Time slowed as Techno froze, then slowly turned his head to look at Phil, an incredulous stare pointed at him at the mention of the new name. Phil’s feathers fluffed up against his back and neck at the realization that maybe, Techno may not have been so in on the new name idea.

“ Tommy? I thought we were both fine with Theseus? He should be named after someone that was known, and that braved every challenge along his way to survive! What does Tommy even mean?”

Phil sighed deeply- he should definitely have thought ahead to Techno’s reaction- he was never one for change, after all.

Thankfully, Wilbur was there to pipe up, a relaxed smile on his face as he worked to convince Techno of the change.

“Tech, think logically here, okay? Tommy is an Enderian name, and Enderian names are used by all kinds of different species because of how easy they are to pronounce, so it’ll be much less suspicious to use that over a Piglin name for a kid that is clearly not a Piglin.”

Techno snorted, but didn’t argue back at Wilbur’s explanation.

“Fine, but I’ll still keep calling him Theseus, that’s not going to change.”

Wilbur laughed good-naturedly, “No one’s stopping you, don’t worry.”

With that sorted out, Eret was next to pipe up, his deep voice not stopping him from commanding the attention of everyone in the room; even Tommy looked up at him, blue eyes focusing up on the Sheron that was holding him.

“Glad we’ve got that figured out, but that doesn’t change the fact that we need to figure out what kind of disguise will work best for him,” Eret placed Tommy down on the couch, in front of where Ranboo was standing, and sat down on the soft cushions, picking up a tablet from the table and opening it up. 

A hologram appeared above it, projecting an image of a somewhat attractive Belin posing in a traditional Betrian outfit.

“Something bipedal… Plantigrade isn’t necessary, it can be excused as a medical condition… Lots of uncovered skin…” He was mumbling to himself, flipping through different models, removing whichever ones didn’t match with the needed characteristics.

Belin, Delete, too many limbs.

Enderian, Delete, too tall and dark skin.

Dreamon, Keep, the shapeshifting ability can make for a good excuse.

Elytrian, Delete- sorry Phil, wings won’t work.

Phastome, Delete- he can’t breathe underwater.

Piglin, Delete, we can’t explain the lack of hooves or the ears.

“Eret, I don’t see the use in continuing when we know we can pass him off easily as a Dreamon-”

Wilbur was swiftly interrupted by the Sheron, who didn’t away from the holograms as he deleted another one;

Thuras, Delete, no exoskeleton.

“Wil, if I can get away with it, I’d rather make sure this kid doesn’t have to grow up with the same stigma as Dreamons get. I get that it’s the easiest one to deal with, but do you really want him to be forced to be considered a biologically emotionless shapechanger?”

Wilbur bristled at Eret’s tone of voice, his phosphors glowing with a harsh violet colour before he responded, barely holding back from snapping at the Sheron.

“If we can fake him having a medical condition for any other species, why can’t we do it for if we made him a Dreamon? Worst case, we pretend he’s a hybrid, and that’s it. Besides, there’s plenty of cases of Dreamons not being affected by their so-called ‘biological emotionlessness’. Remember Quackity?”

Eret had the decency to look sheepish at the mention of the Dreamon- Sure, Quackity was never a very empathetic person, but he did have his moments where he made everyone pose doubts about whether the lack of emotion from Dreamons had more to do with nurture, rather than nature.

The Sheron let out a sigh as he shut off the tablet he had been looking at, and opened up a different one- this one centered around Dreamon traditional dress.

The next few shifts were spent with everyone in the boutique (save for the babies) looking through different outfits and possible disguise options for Tommy. Most of the people involved only knew two Dreamons, both of which were relatively secretive about their own physiology, which meant that they had to look things up online.

From the usual forms taken by baby Dreamons (typically a mish-mash of different species, as they were too young to be able to understand what traits belong to what species), to the kinds of clothes they would typically wear (traditional dress on Dreamon babies was outdated, so most modern-era clothing worked fine, save for the usual mask all Dreamons wore), they managed to retrieve enough bits and pieces from Eret’s scrap fabrics to make a borderline believable disguise.

With a soft, breathable covering the majority of his face, the rest of the disguise was relatively simple- little bits of feathers and fur were sewn to the edges of a regular, common poncho, and a hood was pulled over the baby’s head to hide most of his hair and his oddly round ears.

“He looks… surprisingly well disguised. I’d never think he wasn’t a Dreamon, with all of that on, “ Niki said from where she was nestled in the corner of the room, settled on a large plush pillow with Ranboo curled up in her arms.

Phil stared down at Tommy a bit longer, eyes narrowing as he tried to find any possible issues with his disguise, “We’re going to have to contact either Quackity or Dream if we want to keep this act up and convincing… and to teach Tommy to act like a Dreamon,” He said once he had confirmed that the disguise was good enough.

Their theorizing and stressing was soon cut short when a song started to emanate from Phil’s comm- everyone in the room seemed to perk up at the sound of Elytrian music, when it was interrupted by Phil answering the call.

A familiar voice came up on the speaker, the soft and slightly accented sound of Kristin speaking from the other end of the line.

“Phil! Phil, there was just a broadcast from the Federation, it’s about this race called Terrans, and I think Theseus might be-”

Phil chose to interrupt her at that moment, fearing that she would tear out her feathers before she allowed him to speak, “Kristin, don’t worry, everything’s fine! We also saw the broadcast- we’re working on making him a disguise right now- whenever he’s off the ship, we’re going to dress him as a Dreamon- we’re hoping that makes for a good enough disguise for as long as Terrans are illegal in the Federation.”

He could almost hear Kristin’s wings shuffling nervously through the comm- she let out a small croon and spoke again, much calmer with Phil’s reassurances.

“Alright… Alright, that’s good. Do you need anything from me? I want to be able to help you… and… maybe even be in Theseus’ life, you know?”

Phil nearly dropped his comm when he processed what Kristin had just said. He hesitated for a moment, then, in a lower voice, he spoke softly into the microphone, doing his best to stop himself from cooing at his wife.

“Are you sure? I know the past few orbits have been hard on you, I wouldn’t want you pushing yourself only to fall even farther than last time,” He spoke softly, aware of the fact that everyone was listening to their conversation- the conversation that seemed to be growing more and more personal with every second.

“Phil. You know why I retired, and you know what’s bringing me back. Don’t you get it? Theseus may not be our biological child, but he’s our ismrid ibo, he’s our rainbow baby.”

Phil set the comm down on the coffee table before he could drop it; His talons were trembling so much that he would’ve dropped the device otherwise. His eyes were burning with the terribly familiar feeling of tears threatening to spill, and as he took a glance at the baby- his baby, he let them fall.

“You’re right, Kristin… maybe, he was a sign that it’s time for us to travel together again…”

-------------------

The Ant’arcick was once a quiet ship. It would rumble along on its path, traveling through the federation starmaps passively, going about its usual routines of dropping off cargo, picking up new cargo- rinse and repeat. Normally, that quiet would only be interrupted by the occasional thud of heavy equipment, or a curse following the thud.

Nowadays, however, the ship was never quiet.

Rather, the SBI’s ears all suffered the originally negligible consequences of keeping a baby on board.

Shrieking and wailing filled the halls with every single shift and rotation ever since Tommy, the resident Terran, had started finally growing in his teeth. Little pearly white nubs were barely visible as they peeked through the baby’s pink gums, but apparently, they brought upon enough pain that it felt like Tommy’s face would be permanently tinted a shade of red that could put even Techno to shame.

The signs had been there- not with crying, but with Tommy eating everything he could- his spoons, his bottles, Eret’s measuring tapes… 

Now, the ship’s crew had to constantly find new things to have Tommy chew on, because his teeth were out enough that he was starting to damage the things that he put in his mouth, but they couldn’t bear to allow him to suffer when they could find things to make him feel better.

Which led to the current situation, with Wilbur and Phil standing in the doorway to Techno’s room, and with Techno sitting stubbornly in front of his hoard, a baby wrapped in his arms.

“Tech, listen to me, he doesn’t need a hoard.”

Phil’s insistence came upon deaf ears, the Piglin simply huffing loudly at the intruders before glancing back down at Tommy- the baby who, for once, was not crying. Rather, Tommy was happily chewing on a golden bracelet that Techno had graciously handed him from his hoard.

The problem at the moment was mainly that Techno had fallen so deeply into his instincts that he refused to leave his hoard… and Tommy was also a part of his hoard, apparently.

“Techno, come on, Tommy needs to eat..! And sleep! He can’t stay in your room all the time!” 

A warning groan came from the Piglin at the implication that Wilbur would take away his hoard, his sounder, and he shifted closer to his burrow.

“Okay, now you’re just being childish, Techno. I know you got over your possessiveness a while back, so get over it again!” The spines on Wilbur’s back bristled slightly, his own instincts now starting to get to him- how dare Techno keep Wilbur’s haunt away from him?

Of course, the argument-turned-instinct battle was just asking for a metaphorical bomb to go off within the ship, and Phil liked his ship too much to allow that to happen.

The Elytrian only needed a few moments of hesitation before he moved forward and, before either of his crewmates could react, plucked Tommy out of Techno’s arms. He turned around, leaving the room with a baby in his arms and crewmates following behind him.

It had been already 8 protas since the SBI had first landed on Pirolos; what they had originally planned to have as a short stop quickly turned into a long one with the whole Terran situation. Tommy’s disguise had been completed, even some extras in larger sizes had been made so they could be prepared for his growth. That had been a good idea in the long run, because the baby had already nearly grown out of the first outfits Eret had made for him.

The main thing keeping the crew on Pirolos had been the most tedious thing that could have kept them- they weren’t gathering suspicion from federation officials about Tommy or the ship parts they were selling, but rather, they needed to submit paperwork to register Tommy as a real person.

It was a good thing that Tommy was (seemingly) less than an orbit old, because that meant they could legally acquire his paperwork; at least, with a little bit of negotiating, since they neither had a valid birth certificate nor either of Tommy’s parents at their disposal.

It was also a rather lengthy process, and required some lying on their part, since they obviously couldn’t say that Tommy was a Terran.

Now, they were just waiting to receive Tommy’s papers (and the last bit of clothing from Eret) before they could leave the moon.

Even if it was their largest source of income, everyone on (and off) the Ant’arcick had agreed that taking any bounty jobs would be completely idiotic- they all knew that bringing criminals near their baby was a terrible idea, so they rather settled on a less dangerous, but more annoying job- escorting.

The SBI had emptied out a few rooms on the ship and sent out a broadcast on a few escort networks, opening their doors to possible hitchhikers that needed a ride to planets or moons on their flight path.

It was boring work- for Wilbur, it was severely lacking in action. For Techno, it was overdoing it on social interaction; but they all knew that it was, at the very least, temporary. They could start taking slightly riskier missions once Tommy could at least control his own body and think for himself- until then, they could make do with an orbit or two of painfully boring work.

Phil looked down at Tommy- the baby was completely oblivious to what was happening around him, of course- his mind seemed solely focused on the golden bracelet he seemed so determined to eat. He hummed to himself and walked back up to the stardeck, where he sat down on the captain’s chair and started to scroll through the networks for possible responses to the escorting service.

Phil blinked slowly when he saw an answer to the transmission appear on the screen. A short message had been sent to him in his personal inbox,

‘Hello Captain Philza, 

My partner and I would like to formally request board on your ship until you reach the Las Nevadas Satellite. I currently have 3000 primes ready to be deposited, and the remaining 2000 will be paid upon arrival, in addition to any necessary extra costs that may be necessary at the end of our journey.

Sincerely, 

1. Karl Jacobs’

Phil trilled softly once he read through the whole message- on the first view, it looked like a pretty good deal, but he still connected to Wilbur’s comm and spoke into it, “Wilbur, can you do a background check on a TT. Karl Jacobs? We got a request for them and their partner to come on the ship.”

Wilbur’s voice buzzed through Phil’s communicator, “Doing that now, I’ll tell you once I’ve gone through their files.”

Phil smiled down at Tommy; the baby had forgotten about the gold bracelet momentarily, eyes now focused down on the comm strapped to Phil’s arm- the confusion was clear on his face- Tommy was most definitely wondering why the hell Wilbur’s voice was coming from the comm.

Phil laughed and whispered down to him, “So, do you think they’re gonna be some good ones?”

Tommy stared up at him with those uncanny eyes, and babbled some nonsense that sounded a bit like Wilbur’s warbles.

Phil could almost feel his heart melting at the sound, and he thought back to what Kristin had told him before- how Tommy was their second chance at having a family. He let out a low coo and pressed Tommy up against his chest, crooning gently when he lowered his head and pressed his ear up against the baby’s chest, listening to his heartbeat.

Thump…

Thump…

Bzzz….

The Elytrian startled out of his thoughts and tapped his comm to pick up the call from Wilbur, “Hey Wil, you already finished the background check?”

Phil could hear the Phastome laughing on the other end of the line before responding, “Didn’t take me long to figure out who it was, and why they wanted to get to Las Nevadas. I think you’d recognize his partners more than him, he’s Sapnap and Quackity’s other fiancé”

Phil hummed to himself, then laughed softly and spoke up, “Oh, that’s great news, thanks Wil! I’ll be sure to let him know he’s welcome on board.”

He turned off the communication and shifted Tommy in his lap so he could have both hands free, then sent a new communication to Jacobs; it seemed he wasn’t too busy, because he picked up the transmission only a few seconds later.

Karl appeared on the monitor, and Phil was faced with something he didn’t see very often- a pair of wide, multicoloured eyes, set on a face made up of both familiar and unfamiliar features- he almost looked like an Enderian, but instead of the monochromatic colour scheme that was natural for the species, colours were swirling around on his features, and his skin was uncharacteristically pale.

There were scales trailing up the sides of Karl’s face, and his ears were similar to Niki’s- made up of small gills fanning out around his head and blending in a bit with his messy brown hair.

Phil didn’t comment on his appearance- it was so unbelievably rare to see hybrids from different planets, since most intergalactic couples were not compatible for conception, that the sight of a being that was clearly the product of multiple pairings was, ironically, something out of this world.

“Captain Philza, a pleasure to receive a communication from you,” Karl’s voice hummed through the monitor, “I’m going to assume this is about the transmission we sent you earlier today?”

Phil nodded slowly, “Yeah, we did a background check to be sure that you’d be safe to come on; I’m assuming your partner is Sapnap?”

Karl smiled at the mention of his fiancé’s name, “Yeah, the two of us decided to go visit Quackity up in Las Nevadas- he wasn’t sure you remembered him, so he asked that I send the transmission to avoid making things awkward,” The hybrid laughed, turning his head to look at something out of the camera’s view- he smiled brighter and turned back to look at the camera, “He says hi, by the way”

“Tell him I also say hi! Well, I mostly just called to confirm that everything’s all set, and to fill you in on some things about the ship.” 

Karl nodded, silently motioning for Phil to continue.

“So first, and most importantly- we have a baby on board, so I’d ask that you both not mess with any of the baby-proofing we’ve set up- that’s any locks on the ship, any out of reach food or items, and to put away anything that could be harmful. Any specific details about him will be discussed here on the ship. I need you to send me the habitat settings for you and your partner- or your shared habitat settings if you plan on sharing a room, so I can set that up for you. Along with that, any dietary restrictions should also be provided so we can stock up properly,” Phil took a breath, glancing down at Tommy before he looked back up at the screen.

“We’ll be leaving in the next prota, we’re just waiting on some papers, and then we’ll be taking off. If you want, you can use that time to get your room or rooms all set up.”

Karl said something to the person out of frame, then spoke into the microphone again so Phil could hear him, “We’re going to share a room, I’ll be sure to send you all the information you need for our shared room. Thank you for the ride, you’re really doing us a solid, captain!”

Phil laughed easily before responding, “It’s no problem, Karl. We’ll see you on the ship soon, okay?”

He then ended the transmission and looked down at Tommy again; the baby’s eyebrows were furrowed slightly as he stared up at Phil and the monitor, eyes wide with curiosity.

“Well, Tommy, guess you’ll get to meet Quackity sooner than expected, hm?”

Chapter Text

Chaos seemed to reign on the Ant’arcick ever since they had taken off from Pirolos.

-------------------

Sapnap and Karl had joined them to be escorted over to Las Nevadas, which was on their usual route for cargo pickups and deliveries. The first conversation since welcoming them on the ship had, for lack of better word, been utterly chaotic.

The Magman and the hybrid had stepped onto the ship, and hadn’t even had the chance to utter a single word before the doors shut behind them, causing the two men to flinch in surprise.

Techno was the one to greet them at the door, his bulky arms crossed over his chest as he stared them up and down with deep red eyes. He let out a huff of what must have been approval, because he then brought a hand up to scratch at the back of his neck and spoke to them.

“There are some parts of our arrangement that we were forced to keep from you because we couldn’t risk our conversations being intercepted. The members of the SBI are as follows: Myself, Wilbur, Philza, and Theseus.”

Karl and Sapnap exchanged a short glance before looking back at Techno, “I thought there were only three of you?”

Techno huffed again, “We used to be three, but we inherited a new crew member, and I just need to warn you that if you treat him or us differently because of his species, I will personally deal with you.”

The two guests stayed silent, and Techno decided to take that silence as acknowledgment.

He hummed to himself, turning around and leading them through the halls as he continued to speak. Phil, for whatever reason, had told Techno to show the guests around. Everyone on the Ant’arcick knew about Techno’s aversion to socialization, but apparently he needed to be there to make sure that the newcomers weren’t going to try anything.

Honestly, Techno just wanted to get this over with- he’d left Theseus sleeping in his burrow, the baby all wrapped up in blankets and a generous amount of golden trinkets.

“Theseus is just a baby, so it’s very possible that you’ll hear him during sleeping cycles- just leave him be, the three of us already have shifts set up so someone’s always able to get to him. Really, I just want to make sure you understand that all of us have imprinted hard on him, so if you do anything, you have to deal with us all.”

“A baby in space? Is that really safe?” Karl asked genuinely- Techno smiled to himself; somehow, Theseus was doing pretty well with space travel after that first moment of panic with his nosebleed.

“He’s absolutely fine, he’s been acclimated already.”

Sapnap was the next to speak up- Techno probably had his Netherian instincts to blame for it, but he could feel an inkling of trust already forming towards the fellow Nether inhabitant.

“It’s fine, we don’t have anything against you having a kid- though, if you guys ever do need some help, we both absolutely don’t mind lending you a couple sets of hands. I have experience taking care of Dream’s younger sister, and Karl is just naturally good with kids.”

Techno turned to look at them- he scanned their body language for any signs of deceit or bad intentions, but he couldn’t find anything but pure sincerity radiating from the duo. With a relieved sigh, Techno nodded graciously.

“I can tell you’re both serious about this. Any help really would be appreciated, but first, we need to go up to the stardeck so you can speak to Phil. There’s one thing about Theseus that he wants you to know, and that we all need your silence on. I don’t mean to make this sound ominous, but it’s really important.”

“Come on Techno, whatever it is, I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Sapnap said in an appeasing tone. It didn’t really help, and Techno threw him a deadpan stare to tell him that.

“I’ll let you find out for yourselves. We’re here anyway,” Techno stopped walking and typed a few digits into the pad next to the door- all their passwords were written in Elytrian numerals- an extra security measure that he was grateful for; It gave him an extra bit of peace of mind.

Phil was standing on the stardeck, looking at different monitors and terminals, as well as scrolling through a variety of articles, looking at who-knows-what.

“Phil, they’re here.”

Phil startled and turned around to look at them- it was only then that Techno noticed how disheveled his appearance was. His feathers were all puffed up from his head down to his wings, and his pupils were dilated to the point that they were just thin lines cutting through his eye.

Phil looked at the newcomers, then at Techno, and let out a sigh while rubbing at his brow.

“Right, hey, Techno. Sorry, I was just looking at the news- you know how they only ever report bad things, hah..” Phil didn’t seem to find his joke very funny, considering how anxious he looked- Techno was going to have to talk to him about that later.

“Right, well, I explained that Theseus is a baby and stuff- they offered to help with him, by the way.”

Phil seemed to perk up at that, seeming a bit less tired just with those news, “Oh, that’s great! Right, anyway, the thing about Theseus- or, well, Tommy. What I tell you here can not get out of this ship under any circumstances, understood?”

The brighter mood darkened right back up as Phil gave them a dead stare- if Techno had been intimidating with his large size and muscles, Phil’s wide, unblinking blue eyes were even worse.

“Right, we won’t utter a word about this, don’t worry. We hang around Quackity, we know the importance of keeping a low profile,” Karl said with the same serious tone as Phil.

“Good. I’ll cut to the chase, then! He’s a Terran.”

The shocked expressions on their faces were enough to make Techno snort out a small laugh, which he quickly covered up by coughing into his closed fist. 

“Terran. Like ‘banned from entering any federation-owned territories’ Terran? Or.. or is it some other Terran I don’t know about? Terran means dirt, so it could be from some other dirt-based planet, right?” Karl stumbled through his shock, trying to get a grasp on what they meant- he wasn’t doing a great job.

“Yeah. We found him before the ban, we didn’t know his species was ‘dangerous’, but he hasn’t shown us any signs at all that he may be a dangerous species, and we’re too attached to even consider getting rid of him,” Phil hummed, then turned to Techno, “Is he still asleep? We should have them meet him, at the very least.”

Techno shrugged with a low hum, “If you take them to the lounge, I’ll take Thes out of my burrow and bring him over,” He grumbled- it had become a new normal among the SBI to let their instincts drive them to be fiercely protective over Theseus, so Techno was understandably reluctant to take the kid out of his burrow.

Still, he huffed at Phil’s approving nod and left the stardeck to head for his room.

Techno was the least enthusiastic about having passengers on the ship- it was bad enough when they had to dock anywhere, but the ship was like his sanctuary. Wilbur was fine with it, as long as people didn’t mess with his things, and Phil, who came from a rather social species, was more than enthusiastic to have some company.

He could barely hear the slamming of his hooves on the ship floors as he numbly walked over to his cabin door, placing his hand momentarily on the monitor.

The door slid open with a quiet, humming sound, and Techno was greeted with the sight of his runt, wrapped up in blankets and golden hair shimmering in the lights of the room. Theseus babbled out a few noises when he saw Techno and started to squirm around in his blankets, trying to free himself from the comfortable swaddle that the Piglin had put him in.

“Come on, Theseus, let’s get you presentable for our… guests, ” Techno mumbled as he picked up the fussing baby and held him in his arms. He bounced him for a few seconds out of habit and stepped out of the room. 

It only took a minute to get to the nursery where they kept all the baby supplies, and once inside, Techno made quick work of cleaning Theseus up and changing him. Once he was done with him, Theseus was dressed in a pair of dark blue overalls and a pastel pink soft shirt. The Ant’arcick insignia was embroidered onto all of his clothes; a choice all of the SBI had agreed on, not out of necessity, but just because they thought it was funny to technically make all the baby clothes into ship uniforms.

Techno let out one last sigh at the realization that he no longer had a reason to stall for time; he gave in and picked Theseus up again and carried him all the way to the lounge.

It was the third largest room in the ship, second only to the cargo hold and the engine room- even the stardeck wasn’t that big, since the consoles were rather compact and all the seating was attached to the walls.

Sapnap and Karl were already there, talking to each other in hushed tones as they sat on the couch.

That is, until they noticed Techno standing in the doorway.

Techno didn’t mind them, instead directing his attention around the room, trying to find Phil or Wilbur- neither of them was there.

“Phil left you two alone here?” He asked as he moved forward and settled down across from the passengers.

A silent nod was all he got for an answer, since apparently, they couldn’t stop staring down at the bundle in Techno’s arms.

“ That’s the Terran?” Sapnap blurted out suddenly, apparently unable to keep his thoughts to himself any longer.

Techno huffed to himself and raised an eyebrow at him, “No, this is Wilbur,” He said dryly.

That response seemed to shock them out of their stupor, because they both let out surprised puffs of laughter at him.

Techno let out his own huff of laughter, relaxing a bit more at their positive reactions. He then placed Theseus so he was sitting on Techno’s lap, pressed backwards against his chest for stability and facing the strangers.

“Theseus, this is Sapnap and Karl. Karl, Sapnap, this is Theseus- or as Wil and Phil will try to convince you, Tommy.” 

Theseus mumbled out his own little babbled phrase- a mishmash of chirps and chuffs that had no meaning beyond tone of voice.

“Did he just.. Speak to us?” Karl asked, apparently still shocked about.. Just about everything that Theseus did.

“No, he’s just speaking gibberish right now, he hasn’t figured out the meanings behind words just yet, so he’s just copying the sounds that we make everyday.”

They just sat on the couch and spoke for another shift or so, until Karl cut into the conversation, face scrunched up ever so slightly in concern, “Techno, you know we can look after Theseus, right? You look really tired, maybe you should go to bed- after all, we’re kind of far into your sleep cycle, aren’t we? Don’t even try to argue with me about this, you and Sapnap have the exact same cycle.”

Techno felt himself bristle slightly at the thought of leaving Theseus alone with Karl, but he had to admit that he was right. It wasn’t a good idea to derive oneself from their usual sleep cycle when they were in space, where they didn’t have the sun to help regulate their circadian rhythm.

Wilbur’s sleep cycle would last another three shifts, and Phil had to remain on the stardeck at all times for the first few cycles up to and since takeoff as a precautionary measure to make sure the systems wouldn’t malfunction. Theseus didn’t look anywhere close to needing a nap, and Techno wasn’t sure he’d be able to stay awake much longer anyway.

“Fine… fine! Just make sure to let Phil know that you’ve got him, and when Wilbur wakes up, let him know too. The baby room is just down the hall and has no code, if you need it- that’s where we keep Theseus’s toys,” Techno involuntarily let out a long yawn before continuing on, “Sapnap, follow me and I’ll show you where your room is.”

Techno stood up, gently adjusting Theseus’s clothes so they sat comfortably on him, then placed him on the couch next to Karl- he hesitated for a few seconds, just in case Theseus tried to jump off the couch or something, but he stayed perfectly still, staring up at the hybrid next to him with wide, blue eyes.

Techno directed a hard stare at Karl, huffing a bit, “If anything happens to him, I hope you like airlocks,” He huffed out.

He then motioned for Sapnap to follow behind him and walked towards the guest room first, even though it was further than his own room.

He showed Sapnap the combination to his door, which had been changed to the common alphabet for their guests’ sakes, and let him walk inside and look around before leaving once Sapnap stated his satisfaction with the living quarters.

Once that was said and done with, Techno turned around and walked to his room, where he entered and swiftly took care of his own needs in the attached privacy room.

One dust bath and a change of clothes later, Techno crawled into his burrow and curled up under the blankets. People were often surprised by his need for a small space to sleep comfortably, but Techno saw nothing off about it- it was in his nature after all.

He thought he would need to lay there for a while to fall asleep, but he’d apparently been more tired than he thought, because it only took a few more minutes for his vision to go dark with sleep, and Techno soon fell into a dreamless sleep.

—

Karl was left alone with a baby from one of, if not the most dangerous sentient races in the galaxy, but he somehow wasn’t too stressed about it.

Actually, he couldn’t help but be rather excited at the prospect. This tiny, lumpy, golden-haired baby that was leaning against him would grow up to be what he can only consider a biological weapon. How Nature had managed to create something so terrifying evaded his logical thought, so he just had to deal with the fact that it was right there, and that he couldn’t do much of anything about it.

He didn’t mind that he had to keep Tommy’s existence a secret from anyone outside of the ship-goers; really, what he did mind was the fact that he’d accepted to basically babysit him.

Not one to go back on his word, Karl had instead panicked and shooed Techno away, and was now stuck dealing with his spiraling thoughts and millions of different ideas of what to do with this baby.

What did Terran babies even do for fun? When he was a baby, Karl knew that he would spend hours just touching everything he could, familiarizing himself with textures and materials. Maybe Tommy was the same?

With a sigh, Karl finally opted to pick Tommy up in his arms and walked to the nursery, opening up the door and looking around at the different toys he could play with. He set Tommy down on the carpeted floor as he looked around in the boxes and on the shelves.

His search for a proper toy was going to prove fruitless when he heard the sound of laughter from behind him. Karl turned around and stared down at the baby, who was giggling and grasping in the air, trying to grab at his tail for.. Some reason.

When he sat down, allowing Tommy to get in reach of his tail, the baby didn’t hesitate to take the appendage in his tiny, chubby hands and to immediately stuff it in his mouth.

Karl jumped in surprise and pulled his tail away from the baby- Tommy didn’t really seem bothered by it once Karl had tucked his tail behind him, almost as if it hadn’t ever existed. He sighed and pulled on a nearby box, removing a small object from it.

He didn’t recognize it from any of his own shared cultures- it was like a tiny drum on a stick, filled to the brim with tiny, hard objects like rocks. Whenever he shook or moved it, the rocks would hit each other, making a rattling noise. He didn’t really think much of it, but whenever the rattling noise picked up, Tommy’s laughter would get louder.

He quickly found himself somewhat hypnotized by the baby’s laughter- It was way different from other species’ laughter that he knew of. Usually, it would be huffs or trills; Karl had never heard this bark-like, squeaky noise before.

Tommy would let out a few high pitched barks, before devolving into breathy squeaks and yaps- he would then stop for a moment, before starting up all over again when the rattling continued on.

Instead of pulling out one toy at a time, Karl picked Tommy up in one arm, and the box of toys in the other, and walked back to the lounge, where the baby would be able to crawl around on the carpeted floor comfortably.

He placed Tommy down and sat down across from him, the box just off to the side where he could easily grab the toys. Karl then placed the drum in the baby’s hands, letting him amuse himself by shaking it around with his tiny, uncoordinated limbs.

The kid must have been playing with it for a quarter shift before he threw it on the ground- Karl couldn’t tell if he was just bored of it or if he was just too clumsy, but at the absence of a meaningful reaction to losing his toy, Karl decided that he could probably benefit from playing with something else.

He pulled out another toy, watching with interest as Tommy smacked it on the ground and started to hit the colourful shapes on it, making them light up and make short, musical noises that filled the room, along with his laughter.

He continued to play with Tommy for a good while longer, pulling out new toys whenever the kid grew uninterested, until he eventually ran out of toys and Tommy seemed relatively tired out. 

So, Karl picked him up gently, and sat on the couch with the baby in his arms. Since he had expended a good amount of his energy, it was easy for Karl to manipulate Tommy’s little limbs around so he could be well supported. The most important thing to note, however, was the steel-grip that Tommy had formed on Karl’s long finger.

How the baby’s tiny, chubby hand managed to wrap around his finger and hold on so incredibly tightly was very shocking, especially when he tried to pull his finger away and, for the first time since he started playing with Tommy, the baby started crying.

It didn’t take long after that for Karl to give up and let Tommy have his hold on him, even as the baby fell asleep.

It seemed… like Karl was going to be stuck like this for a little while.

And stuck he was, when Wilbur Soot stepped into the room, primary eyes still shut with sleep as he headed towards the cafeteria- only to double-take and backtrack when he caught sight of Karl on the couch. His primaries opened, secondaries shutting as Wilbur suddenly seemed very awake.

“Karl?”

Karl perked up, looking across the room at the Phastome that seemed to be staring at him with a very incredulous look on his face and a familiar orange shine to his phosphors. He laughed softly and held up his free arm in a wave.

“‘Sup?”

The sound of talking seemed to easily awaken the baby, because a small babble could be heard coming from the bundle on his chest, and Karl looked down at a pair of bright blue eyes.

Tommy only really spared him a glance before he turned to look at Wilbur and held out his arms, letting out a long, almost pleading warble that left very little to the imagination.

“Awe.. does Tommy want uppies?” Wilbur cooed as he came closer, picking the Terran up in his arms and trilling at the baby; somehow, Tommy had no trouble imitating the noises that Wilbur made, trilling right back at the Phastome holding him.

Karl watched on from where he was sitting on the couch, until Tommy looked at him and, to both his and Wilbur’s shock- warbled at him.

It was a different sound from what Wilbur usually did- where Wil’s warbling was typically a deep, gulping sound, it sounded closer to Karl’s- a higher pitched, more drawn out warble that was incredibly reminiscent of how Karl remembered his mother sounded- an Enderian warble. It didn’t have any particular significance; it just sounded weirdly similar to normal speech patterns, without actually meaning anything.

Wilbur and Karl both stared at Tommy in silence- which the Terran didn’t seem to appreciate, because it only took a few seconds for him to scream at the top of his lungs and turn to stare up at Wilbur with teary eyes and flushed, pink cheeks, his previously cheery attitude having completely dissipated.

“Oh, gosh! What do I do?!” Wilbur cried out, holding Tommy out in front of himself in a panic.

Karl jumped up to his feet, checking Tommy over up and down to try and find the source of his crying, but to no avail.

“I don’t know? He looks fine..!”

The crying suddenly got louder as the two young men panicked around the baby, until Tommy seemed to realize that they weren’t going to be able to help him properly.

The cries cut suddenly short, quickly replaced by ear-piercingly loud chirps and screeches that could’ve woken the dead.

Karl covered his ears to block out the noise, and Wilbur seemed to struggle between wanting to put the kid down to cover his ears and wanting to comfort the kid.

They finally got a moment of reprieve when Phil burst into the room, feathers puffed up and wings spread out as he looked around the room, searching for the source of the noise. When his eyes zeroed in on Tommy’s crying form, his pupils dilated widely and he let out a low coo as he moved forward, greedily pulling the baby out of Wilbur’s arms (not that Wilbur really minded at that moment).

Tommy let out a small chirp as he stared up at Phil, before squealing and hugging the man around his neck, good mood returning just as suddenly as it had disappeared.

Phil shifted his hold on Tommy so the baby was comfortably sitting in one of his arms, then looked at Wil and Karl across from him.

“Wilbur, it’s your turn to supervise the stardeck while I go for my night cycle. Karl, you can go help him if you’d like- I’m gonna feed Tommy and go to bed with him.”

At that, Phil left them alone, baby in tow, leaving no room for argument.

-------------------

Sapnap didn’t think he would have to bond with the baby.

Sapnap did not want to bond with the baby.

He wasn’t too sure about Terran babies (but then again, who knew anything about Terrans?), but he was relatively certain that they were most definitely flammable.

Which would not prove to be a fun playtime for Tommy.

Unfortunately for him, Techno was off in the engine room, double checking that everything was still functioning properly after they’d taken off. Wilbur was in the stardeck, keeping track of their progress towards Las Nevadas. Phil and Karl were both asleep; which left Sapnap to play babysitter.

Tommy crawled closer and started batting at Sapnap’s tail, his tiny fingers sliding across the scales, trailing along the edges. He let the kid do what he wanted, until those fragile little fingers got a little too close to the top of his tail, where flames were visible between his scales.

At that point, Sapnap carefully pried the kid’s fingers away and pulled him back in front of him, lazily shaking one of the toys in Tommy’s face to distract him.

“Fuck, kid, you’re gonna give me a heart attack,” He muttered, ears perking slightly as Tommy’s eyes shifted from the toy to Sapnap’s eyes.

He froze for a moment. Why is he looking at me like that?

“Fuh,” Tommy said, his little eyebrows knitting together with concentration.

“What are you doing? Having fun? Uh… want some food?” He said, hoping that maybe he could somehow help the kid say his first word. Tommy was really good at noises, but being surrounded by so many different forms of speech probably made it difficult for the kid to figure out how to talk.

Techno stepped inside the room, waving at Sapnap as he wandered closer to Tommy.

“Have you been having fun, Thes?” Techno asked in an uncharacteristically gentle voice. 

Tommy turned his little head to stare up at Techno, his huge blue eyes wide as he smiled widely, and to the horror of both the men in the room, said his first word.

“Fuck!”

Chapter Text

He was trapped, with no reasonable means for escape.

No matter how much he banged at the bars on his cell, or yelled and begged for his freedom, no one came for him. He was going to have to stay there, wallowing in his shame for all eternity, to rot in this shameful cage.

He laid back against the softness surrounding him; he wasn’t giving up, just taking a moment to rest so he would be ready to fight when the time came. Because the time would come.

The others were arguing in the other room, for some reason.

After he had spent some quality time with the hot one, he had attempted to repeat one of the many words the tall ones usually spoke- this time, however, all hell had broken loose as soon as he’d spoken.

How come? Usually they just paid attention to him and gave him cuddles when he repeated after them! Why was this one so different?

He didn’t know, but he wasn’t going to just sit around and wait to not find out.

With a sense of finality, Tommy leaned forward and pressed his hands against the bars of his crib, holding on as tightly as possible as he shifted his weight forward, first to his knees, then to his feet. It took quite a bit of struggling and shifting, but once he’d pushed through the initial difficult stage of his feat, he managed to balance on his feet, head peeking over the bars of his cage.

Now came the hard part.

He took a deep breath, readying himself for what would undoubtedly be a difficult task, and lifted his leg up. He held on tightly as he just barely managed to get his right foot over the bar; after that step, all it took was for him to shift his body weight for him to topple out of the caged monstrosity and into the softness that covered the entire ground. He laughed a bit at the landing, then remembered his goal.

Right- now that he was free, he had to find one of the tall ones.

Except Big one, because he was the one that put him in the cage. No, Tommy needed the Shiny one- he’d be able to save him!

With a goal now in mind, Tommy started on his adventure. He crawled to the opening wall, furrowing his brows up at it. He struggled up to his feet, swaying a bit back and forth before he managed to reach his fingers up and just barely graze the bottom of the glowing panel on the wall. 

The wall slid open, revealing the hallway that Tommy loved speeding through after bathtime.

Oh yeah, everything was going to plan.

He crawled past the soft room, where a bunch of the tall ones were talking loudly to each other; Shiny and Swirly weren’t among them though, so he kept on moving, huffing a bit with relief when no one spotted him.

He must have been wandering for an eternity by the time he finally found Shiny, considering just how tired he was. He could feel his eyelids growing heavy, but he wouldn’t allow himself to fall asleep when he was so close to completing his objective.

Swirly was also in the room- it was covered in transparent walls that showed off the darkness that expanded around the outside of the ship, and colourful, bright switches were all over the different tables and walls surrounding him. Shiny and Swirly seemed busy, speaking to each other in quick sentences he could barely pick up on.

“This is what had Phil so worried, Karl..! The Federation and the Sentient Rights program are fighting over Terran accessibility ever since they found two more executed Terrans who were found to be non-confrontational after being fitted with translators.”

Well, Tommy didn’t understand most of the words Shiny had said, mostly just picking up on ‘Phil’ and ‘fighting’.

He looked between the two distracted adults and crawled around the room, skillfully avoiding being spotted by passing behind chairs and counters.

“Wilbur, I’m telling you, this is good news. Those Terrans were dead either way; now that this information got out, the public will be less likely to report you if Tommy gets found out.”

He perked up at the sound of his name being spoken, peeking around the corner of a table and flinching when he came face to face with Shiny’s wide, yellow eyes.

“Tommy! What are you doing in here?”

Shiny swiftly picked him up by the armpits and lifted him up to be even with the height of his shoulders. Tommy stared down at the floor, a small laugh barking out from his throat as he suddenly found the ground to be incredibly far below him.

He then turned his head to look at Shiny- if the word he’d barked before had such a varying effect on the others, he wondered what would happen if he said it to Shiny?

Well, no time like the present!

“Fuh! Fuck!”

Shiny’s eyes got really big all of a sudden, and he held Tommy a bit further away for a moment. His eyes narrowed into thin yellow slits as he stared at him. Then, he started laughing- loud, wheezing warbles escaping from the man’s lips.

“Holy shit! Tommy, you need to never say that in front of Phil, or we’re definitely going to lose our heads for being a bad influence on you. Oh, but I’m so fucking proud of you, Toms!”

Shiny pressed him to his chest- ah, there was the cuddling he had been expecting before! Tommy closed his eyes when Shiny started to warble nonsense at him.

-------------------

As Wilbur stared down at the baby curled up in his arms, the Terran having fallen asleep within a few minutes of his cooing. A thought that had been plaguing him recently pushed its way to the front of his mind; Tommy’s fleshy little cheeks were shiny with… something.

Water?

Was Terran blood transparent?

He had no idea! And it wasn’t even the first time this had happened, either! But neither Techno nor Phil had ever seemed very worried, so he never commented on it…

Until Karl brought it up.

“Why is his face wet? Is that normal?” Karl asked curiously, scooching closer (and totally getting in Wilbur’s personal space, but he wasn’t going to comment on it).

“I don’t know, this just happens sometimes and I never said anything because Techno and Phil never have.”

Karl shot him a look, “What if they don’t know either, and haven’t said anything for the same reason?”

He stared at Karl, before swinging his head down to look at Tommy’s peaceful, sleeping face. He didn’t look hurt, but Wilbur didn’t really know what Terrans were supposed to look like when they were hurt. Tommy’s skin was flushed pink as normal, his golden fur was puffed chaotically around his head like a halo, and one of his paws had been brought up to his mouth, where he was rhythmically suckling on one of his little nubs.

“What if it’s blood?” Wilbur gasped in horror as he hesitantly and gently tapped a claw against Tommy’s cheek, swiping at the shiny liquid. He knew that, logically, it probably wasn’t Tommy’s blood- Wilbur could vividly remember that Terran blood was red, from the nosebleed incident, but what if they had different types of blood in their body?

Karl squinted down at the baby’s cheeks, leaning closer to look more carefully, “I.. don’t think so? I feel like blood would be a lot thicker… and I doubt Terrans have a high enough water content for their blood to be transparent…”

Wilbur’s posture relaxed a bit at Karl’s reassurance, his grip loosening a bit around the baby’s sleeping body.

“Let’s just get him to bed then- I don’t even know how he could have managed to get out of his crib, that thing is locked shut every time we put him to bed,” Wilbur said with a hum as he stepped out of the stardeck, the door automatically sliding shut behind him and Karl.

The walk through the halls of the ship was tense as, now that Tommy wasn’t awake to interrupt their conversation, the news feed they had been reading through together came back to the forefront of Wilbur’s mind. He glanced back at Karl before speaking up somewhat hesitantly, a nervous rumble set in his throat.

“About the Terran news from earlier… Do you really think everything will be okay? Space is already dangerous enough as it is, and Tommy is growing more and more in danger with every day that the Federation teaches the population to be scared shitess of his species.”

Karl’s step stuttered ever so slightly as they walked, though the hybrid didn’t seem bothered by it as he spoke up again, “Laws change all the time, you know that. Remember the stories of when Ichinlins weren’t considered sapient until a dozen orbits after they became space-faring just because of their size? It’s the same thing. The Federation will keep saying that Terrans are these ‘terrible and dangerous deathworlders’ until they enter their territories and prove their worth, and suddenly, everything will be okay because enough citizens like them.”

The walk was silent for a few seconds as Wilbur processed the logic behind Karl’s words.

“Dude… when did you become so smart?”

The spluttering laughter that followed that comment immediately lifted the mood, and Wilbur stopped in front of the nursery door, briefly tapping a claw on the screen to open it. 

Karl waited out in the hall as he snuck into the dark nursery and slowly tucked Tommy into the crib. He laid a light blanket over the baby’s body, flicked on the single night light hanging over Tommy, and silently moved back out of the room, shutting the door behind himself.

It was only then, with the tension in their shoulders gone and Tommy put down for bed, that either of them noticed the rumbling and squawking of an argument going on in the next room. Yellow eyes met black ones, and they both made their way to the lounge, where they could clearly see Phil standing over a repentant Sapnap and Techno. Sapnap seemed to be hanging his head in shame, eyes slightly dim. On the other hand, Techno was glaring up at Phil with defiance.

“I don’t understand how this is a bad thing. Sure, he learned a bad word- Theseus would’ve learned it eventually either way! Literally everyone on this ship swears, except for me. He would’ve taken after you guys no matter what we did,” Techno grumbled out, before straightening up again in renewed fury, “Besides, I had nothing to do with it! Why am I being scolded?”

Wilbur winced when he saw Phil’s wings bristling visibly, the black and golden feathers splaying out as the older Elytrian settled a cold glare down at the Piglin.

“Well, Techno,” Phil said in a terrifyingly neutral voice, before hesitating for a long moment as he seemed to realize that Techno really had nothing to do with it. He let out a long sigh and pulled on Techno’s arm- Phil was definitely not strong enough to pull the Piglin up, considering Techno was made almost purely of muscle, but Techno got the hint and stood up and sat down on the couch behind the Elytrian.

Suddenly, now Sapnap was all alone to deal with Phil’s fury, and honestly? The look of betrayal that Sapnap sent Techno was the funniest thing Wilbur had ever seen.

Phil’s head spun in Wilbur’s direction when he accidentally let out a small huff of laughter, and the Phastome suddenly remembered that Elytrians were predators at the sight of Phil’s terrifyingly bright blue eyes.

“H-hey, Phil! What’s happening here?” He asked, putting his hands up in front of his chest as an attempt to show that he was entering peacefully, “Why are you preparing to murder Sapnap? He still has to pay us.”

Somehow, Wilbur’s teasing tone was enough to somewhat diffuse the situation, because instead of redirecting his fury onto him, Phil just let out a long, annoyed sigh and slumped onto the free couch, his entire body taking up every seat and his wings taking up part of the floor. Sapnap’s shoulders slumped with relief at the prospect of apparently not being murdered; suddenly, it seemed like the Magman had thought that Phil was actually serious about his threats.

Now that the situation was somewhat diffused, Techno’s red eyes turned up to look at Wilbur, seemingly inspecting him from the top-down before Techno spoke up gruffly, “Why’d you come here? I thought you and Karl were checking out the Terran situation with the federation.”

Wilbur thought back to the little stow-away that had interrupted his and Karl’s conversation, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth at the reminder.

“Well, we were doing that, but Tommy somehow made it all the way up to the stardeck without being noticed. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you, Techno?” He said, just loud enough for Phil to hear.

Sure enough, the Elytrian perked up visibly, his ear-feathers twitching hard as Phil leveled a long stare at Techno. Wilbur couldn’t ignore the way Techno seemed to bristle when those blue eyes easily locked onto him.

“Hey, I didn’t do anything differently when I put him down for bed..! I know I shut the gate on his crib and I closed the door when I left!” Techno said, nerves easily recognizable in the tone of his voice as he attempted to appease Phil.

It was all for naught, however, and Phil was quick to let his wings bristle up again as everyone in the room could sense a long lecture beginning.

-------------------

No one could find Theseus.

The kid couldn’t even walk properly yet, but somehow, they had completely lost sight of him. Thank the stars it was one of Phil’s sleep cycles, so the poor man wouldn’t get an ulcer from the situation.

It still didn’t help him find Theseus though.

Techno had looked in every single room, checked under every piece of furniture and even opened every single cupboard the kid could reach, but hadn’t found any sign that Theseus had been anywhere. They’d all split up- Wilbur was in the Stardeck, Sapnap was in the lounge and the storage bay, Karl was checking the rooms (and making sure Phil wasn’t awake), and Techno was checking the mess hall, engine room, and cargo bay.

They all had their comms to let each other know if they found him, but after a whole shift of searching for the little bugger, they still found themselves at a complete standstill.

Techno had looked through the engine room the most thoroughly so far- that was the most dangerous place in the ship, which was why they kept the door locked at all times. Unfortunately, Theseus had a bad habit of figuring out how to open the doors by complete chance, so Techno still had to check.

He’d quickly entered the engine room, letting out a small huff when the gravity and temperature altered for him, and had looked in every single nook and crevice he could find among the pipes, tanks, and turbines. With dread, he’d checked inside of the tanks and turbines, but had thankfully found no sign that Theseus had accidentally fallen in. So, once he was sure he’d sweeped the room from top to bottom, Techno had then moved on to the cargo bay.

The cargo bay was also difficult to look through, even if it was relatively safe- All equipment could only be turned on from the stardeck, to avoid any incidents where they could possibly accidentally get blown into space, so Techno didn’t have to worry about any of that.

Really, he just had to search through the ridiculous amount of boxes for any sign that Theseus had crawled into one and gotten stuck or something of the sort. And search he did… to find no sign of Theseus anywhere he looked.

Really, it was ridiculous that Theseus was able to sneak just about anywhere like that at his age. Piglins of the same age could already waddle around, but they couldn’t form reasonable enough thoughts to do anything but explore the confines of whatever room they were left in. Techno knew that Phastomes were the same, with the addition that they were usually not confined to any space, and just stuck as close as possible to whatever guardian they had. Elytrian babies were about as crafty as Theseus- but they couldn’t use that craftiness for anything, since they couldn’t fly until their adolescence.

Techno found himself wondering about how Terran parents even managed to control their children, if this is how they had to deal with Theseus almost daily. Really, it was mind-boggling- there were three (and two honourary) of them taking care of Theseus, and they were still struggling all the time!

He entered the mess hall, eyes tracing across the room to first assess if there were any open cabinets or clear signs of Theseus’s passing. Then, his eyes trailed upwards. They went up, and up, and up, until…

Red met blue, and Techno’s jaw dropped.

Theseus. Tiny, chubby, ‘barely able to walk’ Theseus, was perched up all the way on top of the cold box, sucking one of his little digits and staring down at him with a mocking glimmer in those wide eyes.

How in the stars’ name had the kid even gotten up there? Techno couldn’t even reach on top of the cold box without using a stool!

He glanced down at his comm, mumbling a quick “Found him” to the others before he hesitantly stepped up onto the counter, wincing at the sound of his hooves clicking against the countertop- this was really a terrible idea.

Techno held onto the shelf above him as he steadied himself on the counter, waiting for his tail to sway into the right position so he could regain his balance. Then, with nervous breaths, he reached out towards Theseus and gently, carefully, picked the kid up and slid him off the top of the cold box.

The real problem was getting back down with a baby in his arms. Piglins were known for many things, but their agility was far from being one of them. Techno was considered agile for his species, but even that wasn’t anywhere close to being impressive to other space-faring creatures.

He hunched down on the counter, gently placing Theseus down there so he could keep an eye on the kid as he slowly slid off of his perch.

Unfortunately for Techno, Theseus seemed to choose that moment to absolutely melt his heart and completely destroy his focus.

“Teh- Teckno! Teck, Tech!”

Techno froze at the sound of his name- a terrible outcome, because he had just been stepping off of the counter.

His hoof slipped, and he found himself tumbling off of the counter when his weight shifted in the wrong direction. A loud bang sounded through the ship when he landed, but Techno didn’t care about his aching back, even as it tinged a bit with pain when he shot up to his hooves and stared at Theseus.

“Sa- Say it again, Thes! Techno! Techno-Blade!” He cooed, picking the kid up in his arms as he tried to urge Theseus to say his name again. Apparently, Theseus didn’t feel like stopping, because he just clapped his little paws together and shouted his name with a barked giggle bubbling up in the back of his throat.

“Techno! Tech! Tech-no-bayd!”

When Wilbur, Karl, and Sapnap finally burst into the room after having received his message and having heard the following thud of Techno hitting the floor, they were greeted by the sight of Theseus shouting Techno’s name with glee, pronunciation improving every time he repeated himself.

Techno could only laugh- a rare sound coming from him- when Wilbur threw a baby rattle on the ground in frustration as he let out a shout of indignation, claw pointed right at the baby, “Tommy, you traitor! I should’ve been first!”

-------------------

It was time for a new routine to be set, on top of the current baby-care routine. Every few cycles, it was decided that Tommy would be placed on the lounge’s couch, supervised by one person, and would spend a shift or two on a video call with Kristin.

She hadn’t been the one to request it, but rather, Phil had been the one bringing the suggestion over to her. They all knew she wanted to return to the crew one day, especially now that she had the added motivation from being able to take care of Tommy as if he was her own chick. Unfortunately, she hadn’t been cleared either mentally or physically to get off-planet again, so Phil had decided to set up these sessions so she would still be able to bond with Tommy.

Sometimes, she would just spend a whole shift cooing at him, or entertaining him with music. Now that he had started saying a few words, however, she decided to start teaching him properly how to speak. It was a slow process, of course- Tommy seemed to want to learn on his own schedule, at times, so he would mumble and babble his way through a gibberish sentence with only one semi-decipherable word.

Not that his progress mattered too much- the video calls were just bonding sessions between him and Kristin, and clearly, she delighted at the opportunity to talk to this little bundle of joy that she had all but adopted as her own son.

With his golden fur and his dazzlingly blue eyes, he looked so much like Phil it was disconcerting. But there was a certain light in those eyes, one that she only recognized in herself when she would look in the mirror. This baby was driven by pure mischief, and Kristin lived for it. She didn’t care that he wasn’t an Elytrian- that he didn’t have wings, because in all sense of the word, this was her baby.

And as soon as she would be allowed to come back to space with her husband and their crew, she’d make sure that everyone knew it.

Chapter Text

The trip to Las Nevadas took much less time than they had anticipated. 

That’s not to say that it wasn’t hectic, or chaotic, or any other word to signify just how much they’d been running around on the Ant’arcick. There was a minimum amount of scrambling around that came with raising a baby, and with Tommy as a baby, they found themselves far above that given minimum throughout the whole trip.

There had been two main developments with Tommy since they had first taken off from Pirolos, both of which managed to cause even more chaos.

The first was Tommy’s newfound ability with his speech. Where he had previously just been babbling and repeating the noises the people on the crew would make, he now knew a few words. Most notably, “fuck”, “no”, and “why,” as well as nicknames for them. Truly, an exceptional development.

The second one was still rather new, but by the stars, Tommy was taking absolute advantage of it. 

It had been during the middle of Phil, Techno, and Sapnap’s sleep cycles, so only Karl and Wilbur were actually awake to take care of the kid. Tommy had been napping on the couch, his tiny limbs splayed out around him in what must have been to be an attempt to take up as much space as possible. When Karl had gotten up to get himself something to drink, the shifting of the cushions had woken Tommy up.

The little human sluggishly raised his head and stared at Karl as the hybrid left the room, a few meaningless babbles and barks falling from his lips before he let out a small cry and held his hands out towards the tall figure, “Kar.. Kar!”

Wilbur’s eyes drifted down to the upset child as he considered what to do to calm Tommy down, when the kid slowly slid off of the couch and started to crawl in Karl’s direction.

“Oh no you don’t!” Wilbur leaned down and picked Tommy up by his belly, pulling him up onto his lap. Tommy didn’t like that one bit.

What had previously been the odd little bark and whimper escalated almost immediately into cries and screams as water poured from the baby’s eyes. His arms were spread out in front of him, reaching out to the empty doorway and grasping at where Karl had previously been. 

Wilbur struggled to keep Tommy settled in his lap, and soon enough, the kid managed to slip right off again. This time, he crawled out of Wilbur’s reach before he could react, and he had to get up to grab the kid. When he pulled Tommy up, however, the kid shuffled onto his feet and somehow slipped out of Wilbur’s grip and started waddling towards the exit.

Wilbur was so shocked that he didn’t even try to catch Tommy. Thankfully, Karl came back in the room at that moment, when Tommy bumped against his leg and wrapped his tiny arms around it.

“Did he just-?” Karl gaped.

“He just… He just started walking like it was nothing!” Wilbur said, both sets of eyes open wide in shock. 

The next few shifts were spent making Tommy practice waddling between them, watching and keening as he stumbled over his clumsy little feet and tripped into their waiting arms.

When Phil finally woke up from his sleep cycle and walked past the lounge, he stopped short next to the doorway and slowly turned to look at them. They watched as his feathers slowly lifted and puffed up around him, before he let out a loud, excited trill and bounded over to Tommy.

“You’re walking! Oh, my little chick is already walking!” He cooed, picking up Tommy and spinning him around. The Terran let out a few short barks and kicked his feet, clearly asking to be put back down.

When Phil did set Tommy back on the floor, he wasted no time to start waddling away. He only managed a few steps before he stumbled forward and started to crawl away at a much faster pace. The adults all watched as Tommy turned a corner, his giggles echoing in the halls.

The main issue that came with his new ability to walk was dealing with Tommy’s constant attempts at running away from the group.

Out of the group, Phil was built for the air and Wilbur for the water. Really, the only person that could catch up to Tommy was Karl, who had powerful legs built specifically for running—and even he had trouble catching up to him.

So, their landing on Las Nevadas came with a single problem to resolve: how they were supposed to get Tommy from the ship to Quackity’s casino without losing him.

Wilbur was the one to accidentally find the solution to that one, when Tommy became positively obsessed with the backpack that the Phastome usually strapped to his back whenever he went riding on his hoverbike.

Tommy was obsessed with wearing it around the ship, even though it was just as big as he was. The huge, heavy item had to be far from comfortable for a kid his size to wear, but whenever they attempted to make him take it off, he’d have a crying fit until the bag was returned. 

A situation that had inspired an amazingly simple solution. 

A piece of rope tied to the bag was all it took to keep Tommy from running off without them. 

Their arrival on Las Nevadas was quick and surprisingly free of obstacles. The security outside the ship parking warehouse had only needed Karl and Sapnap’s IDs to confirm that, yes, they did know Quackity.

Aside from that, it was all smooth sailing.

Techno and Phil had struggled to wrangle Tommy into his Dreamon disguise, fussing over his tiny figure and readjusting the different parts of the costume every few seconds. This was the first time Tommy would be let off the ship since that first trip to Eret’s boutique, and the SBI’s stress was evident.

They stepped off of the ship as one group and walked towards the warehouse’s exit.

A door slid open in front of them and finally revealed the shining, crowded streets of Las Nevadas.

As they walked down the roads, they passed many richly dressed groups of people; Enderians standing high up and dressed in jewels, Avians fluttering about in their long, shimmering silk clothes, and hundreds of other elite members of society, going about their day without a care.

Sometimes, their group would shift too close to another, and the strangers would sneer down at their mismatched, ragtag group.

Tommy’s weird appearance and odd noises did a good job of scaring away any groups that could have wanted to intercept them or call them out on their much more travel-appropriate appearances. He would babble and warble as they walked, pointing at random objects and people with a babbled question of “why”. He was somehow keeping up with their pace despite his smaller size- a sign that Tommy would become much faster as he grew.

He would sometimes stop to stare at things or scramble forward and pull on his tether to see something further ahead of them, making small barks of excitement whenever something interesting caught his eye. Of course, almost everything around them was interesting to a tiny child like him, especially with the way the buildings would shine in the sunlight and lights flickered with many different colours.

Las Nevadas was one of the most recent cities built in the past years, having started as just a casino on a desolate moon. As such, all of the surrounding buildings were tall, shimmering, and only incorporated the most modern architecture and technology. That also meant that only the richest individuals could actually afford to live there, unless they worked inside the actual casino.

After a half shift of walking through the city and down many streets, they finally found themselves standing in front of the largest, most imposing building on the moon. The Las Nevadas casino. It had been the first standing building on Las Nevadas, when Quackity set up camp and somehow found immense success with his never-before-seen games and luxuries.

Beautiful carved pillars of smooth, polished stone made up the major architecture of the building, leading up to ornate windows and balconies reaching up towards the sky. Plants could be seen growing from pots and troughs attached below every other window, adding a much-needed sense of nature to an otherwise fully artificial environment.

They stepped inside, and were bombarded by a flood of different sensations.

The smells of foods from every culture imaginable wafted through the entire room, emanating from a corridor to the left that seemed to lead to a large mess hall. The floor was covered in a deep red carpet, and the walls were a dark, mahogany brown colour that was reminiscent of certain types of woods from the planets that still used trees to build their shelters.

Bright, flashing lights and game jingles could be seen and heard from every corner of the casino as the guests used the main attractions - the many games and machines. Voices and music were pounding around the premises, an overstimulating mass that was quickly overwhelming both Wilbur and Tommy, the ones with the keenest ears out of the group.

The little Terran, who had been so curious and full of energy before, was quick to hobble over to Techno and hold his arms out, making little barking sounds as a way of asking to be picked up. Techno obliged with no hesitation, gently taking the end of Tommy’s tether from Wilbur so he could hold the kid properly. He picked him up by the waist, holding his small frame comfortably against his chest.

The group was quick to head out of the lobby and towards the front desk where a dazzling Capra was sitting in front of a monitor, her cloven digits tapping fervently at the keys spread out before her as she finished what she was working on. When the tapping finally stopped, her pale brown eyes, slit with a horizontal pupil, turned up to look at them. Her ears, which were nearing the length of Techno’s, twitched when they landed on Karl and Sapnap, and she spoke up in a soft, sweet voice.

“Hello! Karl, Sapnap, if you mean to go up to the Jester all together, I’m going to need some identification and a signature from each of you so you can vouch for your… companions .” She said in that still-sweet voice, the slight edge in her tone betraying the distrust she felt towards their group.

The matter of identification was quick- a simple flash of Karl and Sapnap’s cards and a whisper of a code word that must have only been known by select people in the casino. It didn’t take long after that for them to be sent up to Quackity’s office through a fancy service elevator, one that had to be unlocked with a key handed to them by the secretary.

Up in the casino’s top floor, which served as a suite and office to the mastermind that had built up this entire community, Quackity could be found sitting at his desk. His mask was laying on the corner of his desk, waiting to be donned once more when he would inevitably leave his office to go gamble or host a party of some sort.

At that moment, he was working on some long overdue documents listing the casino’s finances, alongside some more recent ones that detailed minor maintenance issues that had to be addressed sometime in the next few shifts.

A ping from his communicator alerted him to some guests coming up to his office, and his dark eyes crinkled when he saw who was coming up to see him.

For the past rotation or two, his form had consistently been that of a short, two-legged creature. His scaly and clawed legs and feet were dark in colour like an Enderian’s, yet he was missing the purple particles and grand height. A pair of wings sprouted from his lower back— too small to allow for more than minimal gliding, but wings nonetheless. The yellow colour of their feathers looked almost gold in the casino lights, but he could not conjure a different colour for the appendages.

His head was the newest, most eccentric development. Where he had previously gone for his preferred appearance of a Capra head with black, straight fur and curled brown horns, he now had the flat face of a Terran. Black hair sprouted from the ends of his outer eyelids, two lines above each of his eyes, and finally in silky waves from the top of his head. It would have had an almost uncanny similarity to that of a Terran’s face, if it weren’t for the two glaringly different features that he had willed onto his face for nothing more than aesthetic purposes. A speckling of yellow feathers dusted across his cheeks and the pointy, feathered ears coming from either side of his head. 

Really, the one thing that hadn’t changed about his head was the immutable scar trailing over his features. 

He perked up when the doors finally slid open on the wall opposing his desk, feathers fluttering a bit as he caught sight of his two partners - one a mass of swirling colours and dotted, shimmering hair, and the other a hard and hot figure covered in dark scales with magma flowing under his skin.

He went to stand and greet them, but stopped short and pulled his mask - a decorated white and red circle made to look like a casino token with a smiley face drawn in squares - over his face when he remembered that there were other people following behind his partners. All were recognizable, except for the small, seemingly Dreamon child held in the Piglin’s arms. 

Of course, everyone had already heard of Philza, one of the only surviving Elytrans from the wars that had taken place centuries before Quackity’s time. The man himself was much less intimidating than the stories made him out to be. He was relatively short, especially next to everyone else in their group. The intensity of the Elytran’s vivid, almost toxic blue eyes made up for his less than imposing figure, the bright irises betraying just how ancient he was.

Techno, another renowned figure, had suddenly and mysteriously fallen off the grid out of nowhere several orbits back. Right after his victory in the infamous Pot-ayo wars, where he had risen up from nowhere and toppled Squid himself from his throne. With a full-body shiver, Quackity recalled the time right at the end of the wars, when he had encountered the Piglin for the first and - before now - only time. A disagreement had led to the gnarly scar now adorning the left side of Quackity’s face and the loss of vision in the eye that pulsed angrily beneath the scar tissue.

Wilbur was an old acquaintance and ‘frenemy’ of Quackity’s- the Phastome got so regularly bored of whatever lifestyle he was living that, for a few orbits, he had taken immense enjoyment in opposing Quackity’s every move. Wilbur had loved it; Quackity had found it infuriating. 

The kid was the only odd one out. As Quackity’s gaze passed over each person, it stopped for a long moment on the porcelain white mask strapped around the baby’s head.

Yeah, that wasn’t a Dreamon.

Quackity regained his composure quick enough and greeted his partners warmly as he leaned forward and wrapped each of them in a welcoming embrace. He then turned his head to look at the group that had come in with them. His expression soured, though they clearly couldn’t see that change through his smiling mask.

“Friends...! To what do I owe the pleasure? Please, take a seat, let’s chat.”

After the initial fumbling and mutters that came with a large group of people, they went and found seats on the cushioned sofas in the lounge on the other side of Quackity’s office. Wilbur, with the kid still held in his arms, sat on one of the two deep red sofas in the room. Phil and Techno sat on either side of him, the latter taking the baby from Wilbur's hands to set him down on one of the many pillows on the couch.

Karl and Sapnap sat on the other sofa with Quackity, mirroring the SBI. The baby was sitting up on a pillow, seemingly trying to fight sleep, if the way his head bobbed up and down meant anything. Once everyone was seated, Philza gained their attention by placing a hand on the black, short-legged table separating them. 

Philza was the one to actually speak up once they’d all gotten settled, easily taking up his role as captain with stride.  “Quackity, I’m glad to finally formally meet you. We were serving as escorts for Karl and Sapnap and thought we’d stop by to ask for your advice on something... sensitive, to say the least. And, well,” He shifted in place, eyes glowing that toxic blue sheen, “I’m aware that you’re good with secrets.”

Quackity leaned back against the couch cushions, letting his posture relax just enough to make his body match the level of smugness that he felt inside. “Phil, please, I’m sure you’re all aware that my side hustle is all about information gathering? If you need anything, I’ll give it to you for the right price.”

“That’s just the thing, we need your solemn oath that this will remain between us,” Philza said smoothly as he leaned forward. 

That made Quackity pause for just a moment before he spoke up once more, a slow drawl of, “You do know what asking for a favour from a Dreamon entails, don’t you?”

The three members of the crew sat more tensely at that mention- Quackity noticed the way Wilbur’s phosphors shifted slightly from blue to green. Techno nodded at his question, and Quackity took a deep breath. He smiled as he leaned forward, elbows propped on his thighs as he clasped his talons together.

“In that case, you have my solemn oath that I will speak of this to no one, unless explicitly given permission by one of you.”

Oaths and favours were an important piece of Dreamon culture. Before their space-faring days, oathbreakers and those that refused to repay owed favours would be judged and punished almost as harshly as the most heinous criminals. When they were added to the galactic federation thousands of orbits ago when it had only been made up of a few space species, it was agreed upon that this part of their culture was to be respected by others. Needless to say, Quackity was ecstatic to have earned the SBI’s favour this way.

Phil nodded slowly at his oath, seemingly having double checked that he hadn’t tried to sneak any loopholes in his word, before speaking. “This is Tommy - Clearly, he’s a Dreamon. We found him abandoned on a planet and- ”

Quackity interrupted him sharply- he wasn’t about to sit back and listen to the man attempt to bullshit his way through some half-assed story, “Right, you’re hiding the kid’s actual species for some reason. What is he really?”

Phil tensed a bit at that, eyes growing wide at Quackity’s interruption. He closed his eyes and let out a huff before amending his previous statement, “You’re right, he’s not a Dreamon,” He flexed his wings in a nervous manner, fluffing up his feathers, “Tommy’s actually a Terran child that we found and adopted— just a few months before the federation sent out that broadcast telling people to eliminate all Terrans. Obviously, we can’t exactly kill a small child, especially since we’ve all imprinted on him, so we decided to just.. Keep him?”

At the very least, Phil had the decency to look a bit sheepish at that declaration, though Quackity couldn’t tell if it was because he had attempted to lie, or because of the casual way he said that they abducted a small child.

Quackity shifted in his seat, humming to himself at that, “So, what do you want to know then?”

Techno was the one to speak up next- Quackity’s scar throbbed under his mask as he looked at the Piglin, who somehow made direct eye contact with him even through the mask. “We want him to be able to convince people that he’s a Dreamon, and for that, we need advice from an actual Dreamon. Better yet, a Dreamon like you that actually feels empathy,” Techno paused, glancing down at… Tommy, before looking back up at Quackity, “I think you can tell we’re a bit out of our depth here; it’s hard enough raising a child, but raising a Terran child and teaching him to act like a completely different species is even worse.”

He nodded slowly and crossed his legs as he pondered over the request, “Well, I can definitely help you out with that. It’s true that I could immediately tell that he’s not a Dreamon-” He tilts his head, a predatory grin on his lips. “-other species might be fooled since most Dreamons are reclusive and stay away from others, but that won’t work for very long,” He stood up and walked towards a door on the far wall, tapping the screen next to it so it would slide open. 

Quackity ignored the confused noises coming from the others behind him and simply walked into his storage room and pulled a box out from the back of the room- it was big enough that he had to hold it in both talons, but he didn’t have any issues carrying it. He brought it back out to the lounge and set it down on the table between the seats.

It was a bit dirty, the faded words written on the top and the side showing that it must have been relatively old. He opened it, and pulled out his old mask. Unlike the one Tommy was wearing at that moment—plain white, hard plastic, with large holes where his eyes were—Quackity’s mask was a traditional Dreamon one. It was made of smooth off-white porcelain with black mesh expertly attached where the large eye holes were. Completely opaque looking in, and almost fully clear looking out.

There were more masks inside the box, each a different size or mold to fit him as he had grown and changed form through the orbits. 

“These are some of my old masks. Some have designs drawn on, but the material of the mask makes it so the designs can be erased with heat,” He hummed a bit as he pulled out some personal items that he wasn’t going to give away- jewelry, old clothes that would never fit Tommy right, things of the sort, “Also, Dreamons don’t cover their entire body anymore, so his disguise will just look suspicious. I can hook you up with one of my colleagues to have some prosthetics made so he can modify his appearance without having to walk around in stuffy clothes that cover every inch of his body.”

Phil visibly perked up, his feathers twitching with what Quackity could only guess was enthusiasm. “Oh, mate! This is all perfect.”

He began to respond, but stopped when Wilbur leaned over to whisper something in Phil’s ear after checking his comm. The Elytrian’s smile wobbled a bit as he struggled to keep his excited countenance at whatever the Phastome had told him. Still, Phil spoke up again, looking sheepish, “There’s just one more thing we need to ask, forgive me if we sound a bit rude…”

Quackity sighed and waved them off with a talon, “Whatever, get on with it- it’s just another favour to add to my list.”

Phil chuckled nervously—a series of short, quiet squawks—before he spoke again, “Seems like our ship is low on fuel…”

He shook his head with a laugh of his own, “Alright then, how about this? You guys stay the night here, free of charge. I’ll get some attendants to refuel your ship, and in exchange, you’ll owe me another small favour,”

Wilbur and Techno really didn’t seem to be into that solution- the Piglin’s frown somehow deepened even further, and Wilbur’s phosphors fully shifted to a rather ugly shade of yellow, gills fluttering anxiously.

Quackity didn’t really bother with them though, he only got up and tapped a few buttons on his communicator, sending out a message for someone to refuel the Ant’arcick. Then, he turned around and looked at the group, “Well, how about some dinner? Let’s get a bit more comfortable, shall we?”

One shift later, the entire group was sitting around a long table covered in food from various different planets and cultures. Quackity was sat at the far end of the table, his mask off so he could eat- both Wilbur and Techno had already seen him with his mask off (Though, he’d had a different form at the time), so he didn’t mind if Phil and Tommy saw him properly for the first time. Tommy’s disguise had also been mostly removed, revealing a tiny Terran with soft, round features, golden hair, and bright blue eyes that Quackity had only ever seen on an Elytrian’s face. It was suddenly obvious why the SBI had gotten so attached so quickly.

Tommy was sitting in a high chair to Quackity’s left, and Techno was to the left of him, gently placing a variety of fruits, veggies, and meat on his plate and cutting it into small pieces. Wilbur was at Techno’s other side, making childish faces between bites of food at Quackity whenever their eyes would meet. Phil was facing him from the other end of the table, watching Wilbur with an amused glint in his eye. Karl and Sapnap were respectively sitting across from Techno and Wilbur - they must have been very tired from their trip, because Sapnap gave no reaction to the childish insults Wilbur yelled in his direction.

The dining room was as richly decorated as the rest of his office and apartment, not that he got to use it very often - three of the walls were smooth and solid white with dark wooden beams adding contrast and dimension to the plain surfaces. Parallel to the dinner table, a window extended across the entire wall and up to the ceiling, providing them all with a view of the city extending out below the building. Quackity preened at the thought of showing off the view to his guests– this city was his baby, after all.

Tommy babbled and barked incoherently as he played with his food. He was having the time of his life as he grabbed the bits of food with his bare hands and brought the items up into his mouth. He often dropped pieces of it, his hands clearly not dextrous enough for him to properly grip things, but that didn’t seem to bother him at all.

Sometimes, Tommy would try to get one of the SBI’s attention with short little barks of what Quackity assumed were nicknames. When Tommy perked up at Technoblade and yapped a short, “Tah-no! Tah-no!!” the Piglin slowly turned and looked down at the Terran, a soft look in his eyes as he ruffled the little kid’s hair affectionately.

Quackity grinned and looked down at the kid, “Tommy, say my name..! Quackity- can you say that?” 

Tommy just stared at him with blank eyes as he chewed on his little fingers. Quackity didn’t give up though- at least he had the kid’s attention.

“How about Quack? Can you say Quack? Repeat after me, coo - ack. Coo - ack. ”

Tommy blinked, then let out a short bark that Quackity assumed was a laugh, “Coo! Coo!”

Quackity froze at the nickname- it really hadn’t been what he expected or wanted, but he kind of liked it. He moved his head up and looked at Phil from across the table, locking eyes with the Elytrian’s intense blue stare, “Phil, I have a way you can repay me for one of the favours you owe me.”

Phil tilted his head with a slight, confused frown- his ear feathers perking up, “What might that be?”

“Stop by more often, won’t you?” He grinned at them, “I gotta give him some kind of bad influence, after all.”

Phil, Wilbur, and Techno all exchanged surprised looks at each other. Quackity simply watched from the sidelines as they seemed to have a silent conversation amongst one another, their body language shifting as they silently argued. Finally, Wilbur was the one to turn to him with a sly smirk on his face.

“If we come by more often, you’re morally obligated to help take care of Tommy, favours be damned.” Wilbur said with finality.

Quackity hummed as if he was thinking it over, “That’s fine by me, as long as I get to see Tommy more often.”

Techno sighed deeply- a gruff sound coming from the back of his throat, “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Quackity. Tommy’s still our kid, you’re a glorified babysitter.”

Just when Quackity was going to respond, however, he was interrupted by the sound of choked whimpers, then sobbing. He turned his head down to look at Tommy and froze when he saw the kid’s red-stained fingers, still gripping part of the stuff that had been on Techno’s plate- a plate that had been specifically filled with Netherian food.

Tommy continued to cry, his face turning red and saliva dripping down his chin as he whined. Quackity quickly got up from his seat and wrenched the remaining bits of food out of Tommy’s hand, then spun around to look at Karl, who was the most experienced with medicine out of the group.

Most Netherian food was inedible to most species that didn’t come from Netheria due to the spices in it. To Techno and Sapnap, the spices gave a strong tingling, almost painful feeling in their mouths that they described as being incredibly hot. Elytrians like Phil were the only species that was completely immune to the effects of caspaicin, simply because their biology couldn’t detect it at all. To any other species, the spices often led to incredibly painful burns in their mouths and throat.

“He needs to salivate more, try to keep his mouth open as much as possible and don’t give him water or food!” Karl ordered as he rushed to the side room for the first-aid kit.

In that time, however, Tommy calmed down, the red tint slowly dissipating from his face as he calmed down from his earlier panic. Clear liquid dribbled down slowly from the kid’s eyes as he seemed to realize that everyone was panicking and staring at him. Then, Tommy reached down and put some more food in his mouth with a coo.

Everyone stared in silence for a few moments longer, shocked at Tommy’s nonchalance. Quackity stared up at Techno, frowning a bit.

“Did he.. Not eat something poisonous to himself?”

Techno looked down at his plate, staring intensely before he shook his head slowly, “No, he ate the strongest thing on my plate- how in the stars is this kid okay? Most other species would’ve gone into shock already from the heat. Even I can barely eat it with a straight face.”

All eyes in the room zeroed in on Tommy, who messily chewed on a piece of a vegetable from his own plate, blissfully ignorant.

Karl charged back into the room, armed with medicine and burn salves, but stopped short when he saw Tommy, relaxed and seemingly out of danger.

“Do you think Terrans are immune to Netherian spices, like Elytrians are?” Phil asked with a small coo. 

Techno shook his head. “He still reacted. I guess he has a Netherian’s level of tolerance to them- but a baby Piglin definitely wouldn’t be able to eat that and be as unfazed as he is.”

Following the short incident, they uncomfortably resumed their dinner. Eyes often fell on the small Terran, silent questions of what would have happened if his tolerance were lower going unanswered. It took a while, but after a quarter shift, the peaceful atmosphere returned, conversations piping back up as they had been before the incident.

The meal ended with even Sapnap and Karl rightly revitalized, with the Magman loudly trading insults with Wilbur, and Karl attempting to stop him from climbing atop the table.

That evening, Quackity escorted the SBI to a set of bedrooms with the temperatures and gravity set to their individual preferences, and left to let them relax after their long trip. 

He settled down in the lounge, drinking alone next to a window that showed the beautiful cityscape of Las Nevadas, all shining lights and busy streets even when it was the dead of night. Footsteps sounded quietly from down the hall, and he turned to look at the newcomer.

It was easy to recognize Wilbur in the dark, his phosphors glowing a toxic blue colour that was even more vibrant in the dark.. Quackity tilted his head at him curiously.

“What do you need?”

Wilbur sat on the seat across from Quackity, primary eyes glinting in the low light.

“You know more than you’ve been letting on.”

Quackity took a deep, but silent breath to stop himself from showing a physical reaction to Wilbur’s statement.

“That is… correct. But you should be more specific when you say that to an information broker.”

It was silent for a long stretch of time. Were it not for the constant glow of Wilbur’s phosphors, Quackity would have thought the Phastome left.

“Tell me more about Terrans.”