Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Taehyung’s POV:

“This week’s champion song”

“3”

“2”

“1”

My heart was beating very fast and I couldn’t take my eyes off the TV screen. I stopped to breathe, waiting impatiently to see who would be the winner. I felt like time had stopped. When suddenly…

The screen revealed Dreamcatcher’s “Maison” music video.

I jumped the sofa I was sitting on and screamed with joy. Dreamcatcher’s first win, finally! After five years, they had what they deserved!

Jungkook ran out of his room, almost falling, and came to me, out of breath.

“Hyung, are you alright?”

“Yes, don’t worry. I’m sorry I frightened you.” I said, standing from the floor and going back to the sofa. Jungkook came to sit next to me wondering what I was watching. I introduced him quickly to Dreamcatcher and explained that they had finally won after 5 years. He was happy about that, even though he didn’t know who they were. He was always so supportive about everything and I was grateful for that.

The girls arrived on the scene, each of them crying, even Dami. That made me so emotional. Jiu started her speech, hiding her face with her hand. She was struggling to speak. They were all hugging each other, tears rolling down their cheeks. I just wanted to take them in my arms and congratulate them.

The music started and Jiu was the first to sing. She tried her best to get the notes right and she succeeded. Yoohyeon, on the other hand, didn’t manage to sing her part and broke into tears, hiding from the camera. My heart sank, even though they were tears from happiness.

Jungkook and I were listening to the girls when we heard a knock on the door.

“Jungkook, Taehyung, we have a meeting, come quickly!” Namjoon called for us.

“We’re coming!” I answered him.

I turned the TV off and we headed to the door, joining Namjoon who was waiting outside.

“What is the meeting about?” asked Jungkook as we were walking.

“The K-pop festival next week.”

**********

We arrived in the meeting room and quickly took our seat. The rest of the members were already here, as well as manager Minho. They were only waiting for us.

“You all know that, next week, you will attend the K-pop festival 2022. Here is the list of the groups that will be present.” He said, giving the list to Namjoon. He looked at it quickly and then gave it to me.

These days, we didn’t attend to much events, it was often only 4th generation groups coming to these kinds of events. But this time, groups of all generations would come so it was my chance to meet the one I never met. I gave a quick look at the list, paying almost no attention, when my eyes suddenly came to a halt, spotting “Dreamcatcher”. I couldn’t believe it, we would be at the same place at the same time! I knew I was a member of the most famous K-pop group ever but I loved these girls so much, they were so inspiring. My heart was beating so fast and I was so excited to be next week. But I had to keep this excitement hidden, I knew manager Minho wouldn’t be okay with me being with them. Either I would promote them just by talking with them and I would be yelled at, or crazy Armies may start insulting them. In both cases, it wasn’t good.

I gave the list to Jungkook and tried to focus on what manager Minho was saying.

“You probably saw it but Blackpink will be here. I want you to interact with them. V, go and flirt with Jennie, give the Armies and Blinks some spicy moments and stop this stupid fanwar.”

I nodded without really agreeing. Could I really flirt with someone, just in front of Dreamcatcher? I felt like cheating on them. I really liked Jennie, she was a really good friend but what we did together when we were in front of cameras was only fan service. I needed to find a solution to go to see the girls and stay with Blackpink and my group.

“Hyung, did you see that?” Jungkook asked me. “Dreamcatcher is on the list, they will be there as well. Aren’t you happy?”

At that exact moment, I felt heavy eyes on me. I slowly raised my head towards manager Minho.

“Do you know them?” the manager asked me. “You weren’t thinking of walking up to them and starting a conversation, were you?”

I didn’t know what to answer. I knew that if I told him the truth, he wouldn’t trust me and I wouldn’t have the chance to see them.

“How could I? You just asked us to spend our time with Blackpink.” I finally answered, kicking Jungkook’s feet with my own, to tell him that he had just made a big mistake. “Moreover, we are much more popular than them, we have nothing to do with them.”

He nodded and went on with his speech. But I didn’t hear anything… or rather, I wasn’t listening. I couldn’t concentrate anymore, I hated myself for what I had just said, the girls didn’t deserve that. But I promised myself that I hadn’t lied for nothing and that I would go and meet them in a week, during the K-pop festival.

**********

As the days passed, I was getting more and more impatient. I would finally meet and I would be able to congratulate them on their first win. I didn’t know how to approach them yet but I knew Jungkook could help me. We also talked Jimin into it as well. I knew I could count on them, they were the best of friends.

Two days before D-day, I called Jennie to see what kind of “spicy moments” we could give the fans. We thought about whispering in each other’s ears or giving each other some intense stares. But she quickly saw that something was bothering me. I explained the situation and we managed to find a plan. At the end of the event, Jennie and I would go and meet the girls while Jimin and Jungkook would distract manager Minho. She suggested to come with me so that people could testify that they saw us together. This plan seemed perfect, I was so sure that everything was going to go well. If only I had known what was about to happen…

Chapter Text

Taehyung’s POV:

It was finally the day I was waiting for. I was in the backstage with the others, waiting to enter in the large hall. All groups were already installed, except Blackpink and us. As expected, they would make us enter at the end, to “save the best for last”. Jennie came to see me:

“Hey, how are you? Did you find them?” She asked searching in the theater.

“Not yet” I answered.

Jungkook arrived behind us.

“Hyung, Noona, look over there, they are next to Enhypen” He pointed.

“Ah, yes I saw them.” Jennie said. “They’re really pretty!”

I blushed a bit before agreeing.

“And now, the groups you all were waiting for, please make some noise for Blackpink and BTS!”

We entered in the hall, bowing and waving our hands. The fans were crazy, screaming our names, clapping and doing finger hearts. I was really grateful to have them, they brought me so much every day. I found myself looking at Dreamcatcher, my eyes uncontrollably drawn to them, cheering on us. Sua was more jumping and screaming then anything but that’s how she was, always full of energy.

We took our seats, and, as planned, I sat next to Jennie. It was now the time to do some fan service. From where I was, I couldn’t see Dreamcatcher, so it meant than they couldn’t either. And I felt relieved about that.

I spent a really good evening. I was having fun with Blackpink and my members. I was flirting from time to time with Jennie and we laughed about that. The fans were going crazy for little things and that was really funny. We also sang all together and were enjoyed the performances that were presented. Seventeen were performing as well as Ive, BigBang, JustB, Itzy and Jessi. I didn’t know all the songs but the atmosphere was so good that I still had fun.

When the evening came to an end, Jennie reminded me of the plan. I had enjoyed the last moments so much that I had almost forgotten the girls. We stood up and joined our changing room, saying our last goodbyes to the fans. Jennie and I first went to her Blackpink’s lodge to inform her manager that we would spend some time together. He agreed and we rushed to BTS’s room. I came in, searching for manager Minho when I eyes fell on unknow guests. There were five girls and two boys sitting on the couch, talking to Namjoon and Hoseok.

They were all well dressed, the girls wearing heavy makeup and the boys had neat haircuts. Who were they? They were neither idols nor staff member, that was for sure.

I went to see Jin and asked him about them.

“You don’t know who they are?” He whispered-yelled. “Didn’t you listen manager Minho during the meeting last week? Those Armies won the opportunity to meet us today! We will spend some with them now.”

What? Armies? Now? Our manager probably talked about it when I wasn’t listening during the meeting. I hated myself even more now. How could I miss this information?

I looked sadly at Jennie who was waiting for me outside. She understood immediately that our plan failed. She gave me a little smile and left.

I felt so empty right now. I just wanted to leave far from this life. Why couldn’t I meet who I wanted and do what I wanted to do?

A fan ran to me and hugged me tightly, pulling me out of my thoughts. I smiled warmly at her, pretending to be okay with this visit. In fact, I was, but it just wasn’t the right time for that.

**********

After 30min, they left the lodge. We talked a lot, they told us what they liked about us and we told them how grateful we were for their support for us. But it started to be late so they went back home. We changed quickly to our casual clothes, took our stuffs and exited the building.

But an idea crossed my mind. What if they were still here, in their changing room? It was unlikely but not impossible. I stopped walking and said:

“Wait guys, I think I forgot something. Wait here, I’m coming back in a bit.”

“Do you need help?” asked Namjoon.

“No, don’t worry Hyung, I will be quick.” I answered as I ran inside the building.

I didn’t know where their room was so I just searched everywhere. I finally found a poster with the groups and their lodge number. I quickly read and found “Dreamcatcher: 315”. I ran to the third floor and entered their room. But there was no one, the room was empty.

Out of breath, I slumped on the couch. How could I fool myself into believing they would still be here? I closed my eyes a few seconds, catching my breath.

When suddenly, I heard a sound of footsteps. Who could it be at this hour? Maybe Namjoon who was worried, like always. The noise was getting closer and closer. I opened my eyes, fixing the entrance. The person approaching had a light gait, it wasn’t my leader, I was sure about that. I stood up and walked slowly toward the door. But someone running, bumped into me and fell on the floor.

Despite the darkness, I knew who it was. I had watched her so often on TV and had dreamt of meeting her so many times. Her long blond hair falling on her shoulders and her black bangs covering her eyes, it could be only one person.

I was standing in front of Kim Yoohyeon.

Chapter Text

Taehyung’s POV:

I couldn’t believe it. We finally met. Despite the darkness, I could easily tell how pretty she was, even if she was only wearing a simple jogger and a large crop-top. She lifted her head up and looked at me straight in my eyes. I couldn’t move like if her gaze was hypnotizing me.

But then, I realized that she was on the floor and that she probably hurt herself. I quickly went to her and helped her to stand up.

“I am so sorry, I shouldn’t have run, it’s all my fault.” She said bowing.

“No, it’s my fault, you did nothing wrong!” I hurried to answer. “Besides, are you ok? You fell pretty hard.”

“Yes, thank you for worrying.” She answered, bowing once again.

“You don’t need to be like this with me, we are almost the same age. By the way, my name is Kim Taehyung.”

“I am Kim Yoohyeon, nice to meet you.” She was about to bow but contained herself. She laughed shily and covered her face with her hand.

She was so cute. Insomnias were right, she really looked like a puppy.

When suddenly, we heard sounds of footsteps and two men speaking to each other.

“Are you sure Dreamcatcher’s room is here?”

“Yes, it’s just here.”

I could recognize this voice among millions. It was Namjoon, he was probably speaking to a staff member. I had to quickly hide. If I was seen here with Yoohyeon, I was dead for sure.

I pressed Yoohyeon against the wall behind the door and whispered to her not to make a noise.

Namjoon and the other man entered the room and turned on the lights. I was so scared to be seen. I get even closer to Yoohyeon and could now feel her breath on my neck. I had my hands on each side of her face. I was blushing madly and we were both feeling so uncomfortable but I had to stay still until Namjoon would leave.

“There is no one here. He probably left.” He concluded and left.

I felt relieved and could finally breathe a bit. But the staff member, before following him, turned off the lights and locked the door. What had just happened?

Yoohyeon pushed me aside and ran to the door. I ran after her, grabbed her by the waist and covered her mouth with my hand. We had to stay silent, they were probably still near. After a few seconds, I released her. She went to the door and screamed for help, forcing the handle. By now, Namjoon was probably downstairs and I didn’t think there were anyone in the building. I went to sit on the couch and waited for Yoohyeon to calm down. She turned to me and looked at me with anger and… concern?

“What did you do? Why would you bring me into this? What did I do to you?” She screamed, breathless. She slowly dropped to the floor, still against the door. I didn’t answer.

“My member will be so worried.” She muttered.

She was locked in a room with a stranger at night and yet, she thought first of her friends. I knew she was incredible but I was still impressed.

After a bit, she stood up lazily and went to sit on the couch, far from me. At that moment, I received a message from manager Minho.

“Taehyung, where are you? It’s been 15min, did you find what you were searching for?”

“Yes, don’t worry.” I though a second of a lie and added: “In fact, I met a friend and we left together. Don’t wait for me tonight.”

“Ok, have fun”

“Will your friends come to help us?” Yoohyeon asked me as I was putting my phone in my pocket. She wasn’t even looking at me. She must have hated me and I understood.

“No, that was my manager, I told him to leave.” I started. She didn’t answer. “Look, I am sorry for what I did but I had to.”

She was about to speak but I cut her.

“Let me explain myself first and then I will let you yell at me or even hit me if you want.” I took a deep breath and explained her my situation, that I was a big fan of her group but that I wasn’t allowed to see them. Otherwise, I would get in trouble with my manager, my leader, my agency and all fans. I also explained her the plan I had with Jennie and the boys and how it failed miserably.

She finally looked at me and smiled shily. My heart was beating so fast and I must have been blushing madly. It was crazy how a little smile could do this effect on me. Was it what Armies were feeling when I smile at them? It was now my turn to look at my feet.

“Now, I understand why you did that. You panicked and hid me with you. Don’t worry I’m not angry at you.”

She stood up and came to sit next to me. She started to pat my back and said:

“It must be so hard to be in your situation. I think all K-pop groups dream of becoming as popular as you but we don’t realize what it costs. You must be so pressured all the time by everyone, it must be hard. At least, this night allowed me to know what BTS has to face every day. So, in the future, if you need to talk to someone, I’m here.”

What? Did she just offer to see each other again? So after working hard to meet Dreamcatcher, I was getting close to one of them. I knew this new friendship would help me to feel freer and to forget this stressful life for a bit. I smiled warmly to her before realizing:

“By the way, why did you come back? Did you forget something?” I asked.

“Yes, I forgot my phone. Plus, last time I had it, it was out of battery.”

We stood up and started to search for her phone. We looked in furniture drawers and closets and even under the armchairs and couch. In the end, I found it hidden between two cushions on the sofa.

But at that moment, we heard sound of footsteps outside. Yoohyeon told me to hide and shouted, asking for help. Soon, someone came and unlocked the door.

“Hello… well… hum…” Yoohyeon was searching an excuse. “I fell asleep on the couch and someone came and locked the door.” She laughed, a bit embarrassed.

“And so now you are all alone in this room?” he asked, smirking.

I felt like he would try something on her. I quickly put a mask on so that he couldn’t recognize me and was about to interfere when Yoohyeon answered:

“I’m an Idol, you can’t do anything. Moreover, I know where you work and I memorized your face. But thank you for coming, now you can leave.”

I was speechless. How could a woman could be cute and a second after this charismatic? The man left and there were just the two of us again.

“Are you ready to go Zorro?” she said, laughing at me. Yes, she clearly didn’t need a hero.

**********

After 20min, Jungkook came to pick us up. I asked him to come because I knew he would be discrete.

In the car, they got along well. They were both born in 1997 and I was born in 1995 so they laughed at me, saying that I was old. I didn’t say anything, I was so happy that my best friend and my new friend liked each other.

When we arrived at Dreamcatcher Company, Yoohyeon ran to the entrance, hugging a crying Jiu. The leader hugged her tightly, not wanting to let her go. She must have been so scared, she didn’t know where Yoohyeon was for 5 hours at least. The younger one was patting the head of her worried friend and tried to calm her down.

I wanted to introduce myself to Jiu but it didn’t seem to be the good moment. So I just left with Jungkook, already excited to see her again.

Chapter Text

Yoohyeon’s POV:

I was hugging a crying Jiu, caressing the back of her head trying to calm her down. Knowing her, she had probably stayed out here for a long time, without a coat or sweater and seeing how much she was shaking in my arms, she was probably getting sick. It broke my heart to see her that weak and helpless and to think that this was all my fault.

Behind me, I heard a car leaving and I knew it was the boys. I was grateful that they didn’t come even if I knew Taehyung would have been happy to meet Jiu.

**********

After a bit, Jiu calmed down a bit and we headed to the dorm. I had my arm around her waist and carried her to the front door of our apartment. She was exhausted after and crying and worrying that much.

I silently took my keys from my pocket and opened the door in a slow motion, making as little noise as possible. It was almost 3 a.m., the girls were probably asleep. We stopped in front of her bedroom door:

“Will you be okay now?” I asked her, whispering.

She nodded and hugged me tightly. It surprised me but I hugged her back and caressed her back.

“I was so worried.” She murmured, still sobbing a bit.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

We broke the hug and I watched her going slowly in her room.

**********

The next day, we were waiting in our resting room at “The Show”. I knew our fans had fought all week long for us to win second price and, this time, I was really confident : I trusted Insomnias.

While I was writing my English speech on my hand, Jiu came to sit next me. It looked like she hadn’t gotten enough sleep.

“Hey, can I talk to you a bit outside?” she asked. I nodded and followed her in the corridor.

 “So... I didn’t want to talk about it with the others around because... I thought that... if you didn’t tell us by yourself, you just didn’t want us to know.” She started.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, confused.

“Yesterday, you came back late at night with two men. And, from what I saw, they were Jungkook and V from BTS, am I right?”

“You are.” I answered, looking down. I didn’t want her or the other s to know about my new friendship with them.

“Are you... close with them? Since when?” She asked shily. Why did she want to know about that? I had many friends and she was never that interested.

“I... I met them yesterday, when I was searching for my phone. They were nice and we got along well so we stayed the evening together.” I lied. Well, that wasn’t really a lie, I just didn’t tell her that being with them wasn’t my choice. But I knew she wouldn’t let me see them again if she learned what happened.

“Ok, I understand. But be careful, it’s not because they are from BTS that you can trust them. They are strangers you met at night, when you were alone. You could have gotten in big trouble.” She scolded me sweetly.

“I know, I’m sorry.” I answered, still looking at my feet.

“Don’t worry, I’m just happy you are safe and came back to me.” She said, suddenly hugging me.

I hugged her back, feeling relieved that she wasn’t mad. She was the best leader I could wish for, always so caring and sweet with the members. I clearly didn’t deserve her, always losing my stuffs, falling and bumping everywhere and now worrying her for not coming home. I promised myself to make her proud as I closed my eyes and melted in the hug.

“How cuuute ~~~ “A voice whispered in my ears. I opened my eyes and saw a tiny Sua standing just next to us. “I’m disturbing you, maybe?”

“Not at all.” Jiu said, breaking the hug. “What’s up?”

“We need to go, it’s our turn to perform.” Sua informed us pointing the direction of the recording studio.

“Okay, let’s go!” Our leader answered, leading the way.

Sua came to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder, forcing me to stoop at her level.

“Ya, you idiot, why didn’t you come back yesterday? I was worried sick!” She yelled.

“Sorry, I spent the evening with some friends.” I said, chuckling for her behavior. She was always teasing me but I knew how much she cared about me.

And just like two playful siblings, we headed to the set.

**********

We made it, we won once again! I couldn’t be more grateful for our Insomnias. After 5 years, were finally were rewarded for all the work we put in and I could never thank our fans enough for not giving up on us and keep on supporting us.

And just like that, we headed home, cheering with the trophy in our hand and Sua teasing me for the speech I wrote on my hand.

Once we arrived in front of the agency, we went out of the car, still screaming and jumping of joy wh en suddenly, my eyes fell on a familiar face, leaning against the wall next to the entrance door.

“Taehyung?” I exclaimed with a smile, walking toward him. “What are you doing here?”

“Hey Yoohyeon, congratulation for your second win, you deserve it.” He said, looking straight into my eyes. I didn’t really pay attention before, but he had such beautiful eyes. I could see through them how sweet he was and how sincere he was about our new friendship.

Suddenly, I was taken out of my thoughts by a hand holding mine. I turned my head and saw Jiu, analyzing him from head to toes.

“You are the one who brought her yesterday night, right?” she asked, looking at him with a serious expression and squeezing my hand.

He galped and try to explain himself.

“Y-yes, t-that’s me. I-I’m Kim Taehyung, nice to meet you, I-I’m a big fan of your group.” He said, bowing.

“You are from BTS, right?” Siyeon asked, joining the discussion. “Wow, I didn’t know Yoohyeonie had such friends, that’s amazing! But please, come inside. We were about to celebrate our second win and we don’t mind you joining us.”

“A-are you sure?” He asked, not daring to look up.

“Sure, come in.” Jiu answered, keeping her serious expression.

“Thank you for inviting me.” He bowed once again to her.

I didn’t know what was happening here. Why was Jiu acting like this? She was always happy when I had new friends. Taehyung was intimated by her and she knew it so I didn’t know why she was doing this. I would have to ask her later.

 As we went inside, we decided to go in the resting room upstairs so that Taehyung couldn’t be seen from outside. I knew he would get into big troubles if someone saw him at Dreamcatcher Company with us.

We put some chairs in a circle and let the door half-opened to hear if someone was coming without being seen. And as we sat, I went to sit between Taehyung and Jiu. I knew how much he was uncomfortable next to her and I didn’t want him to feel this way.

“So, how did you meet each other?” Siyeon asked, excited.

“Hum...” Taehyung started, looking at me.

“W-we met yesterday.” I continued. “Hum... I met him while I was searching my phone in our changing room. We got along well and spent the evening together.” I explained, trying to remember what I told Jiu this morning.

“No, that’s not what happened.” Taehyung answered. “I know you just want to protect me, Yoohyeon, but I don’t want you to have to lie to them.” He took and deep breath and resumed his speech. “I’m a big fan of your group for a long time now. And I knew yesterday would be one of the only occasions I would have to meet you. So, with my friends, we made a plan to meet you, discreetly but I didn’t go as planned and I was released really late. I ran to your room and that’s where I met Yoohyeon.”

“Yes, that’s what happened, I’m sorry I lied to you.” I cut him, not wanting him to reveal how we got locked in the room.

“Thank you for telling us the truth about it.” Jiu said, looking at Taehyung but with a grateful stare.

I felt relieved she change her behavior toward him but I knew I had messed up by lying to her. I dared to look at her, trying to figure out what she thought about it but I felt like she was avoiding my eyes. I had disappointed her twice in two days and hated myself for that. I would have to apologize to her later.

“I am really touched that an Idol like you is fan of us.” Dami started. “But why would you make a plan to meet us? You can come to see us at any time, we wouldn’t push you away. You are BTS after all.”

“Well...” He tried to explain, looking at his feet. I put my hand on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly to give him some support. He smiled at me and took his speech up. “I am a member of the most popular K-pop group ever so I can’t do what I want. All the fans and staff are watching me really closely and I can’t risk being seen with you. My fans would probably destroy you and we would start a big scandal. So that’s why I couldn’t come to you.”

“Okay, I see. I never thought your life was this controlled.” Dami said, looking sorry for him.

We spoke together for a few minutes, laughing and talking about everything. Well, not me at least. I was observing the discussion and each of my friends. Taehyung was talking a lot with Sua, Siyeon and Gahyeon while Dami and Handong were listening, giving they opinion from time to time. Jiu, as for her, was smiling and nodded to what the members were saying but I knew her, she was pretending to be okay.

I tried to reach for her hand, to show her how sorry I was but she pulled away, without even looking at me. I knew I deserved this treatment, I had messed up but it hurt so much.

“Hey guys, I think I will go home, I don’t feel really good right now.” I said, standing up. I just wanted to lay in my bed and be alone.

“You’re not feeling good? Do you want me to take you home? I have my car parked in front of the agency.” Taehyung suggested, standing up as well.

“No, don’t wo- “ I was cut in my sentence by a voice in the corridor.

“Did you see the girls? I think they came back a few minutes ago.” It was our manager, she was searching for us. The next sound we heard was footsteps coming in our direction.

I looked at Taehyung and starting to panic. If he was seen here with us, he would get into big troubles and I couldn’t let that happen.

I quickly pulled him from the collar and pushed him against the wall behind the door.

“It’s your turn to stick me against the wall, isn’t it?” He chuckled.

“Shut, don’t make any noise, I’m trying to help you here.” I whispered, going back at the middle of the room and removing the eighth chair in the circle, to avoid suspicion.

I quickly sat back on my chair, almost falling, as our manager entered the room, bumping Taehyung’s foot with the door. Luckily, she didn’t notice.

“Girls, I have a good news for you!” she cheered.

“What is it?” Dami asked.

“You’re going to collaborate with BTS!”

Chapter Text

Jungkook’s POV :

It was the end of the afternoon and I had a 15 minutes break after having trained for 2 hours with Jimin and Hoseok. Namjoon and Yoongi were composing for our new album and Jin was working his singing skills. Taehyung left in the early afternoon without telling us where he was going, even though I guessed. Yesterday night, in the car, he only talked about Yoohyeon, how nice, incredible, pretty and badass she was. He was already so hooked. So he probably went to see her.

He was really happy he became friend with her, he was so fan. Plus, Yoohyeon was a way to forget his daily stress and have fun without worrying about the fans or our manager. But I couldn’t help but feel a little worried. He was going to spend a lot of time with her and a lot less with me and that thought saddened me.

As I was thinking, I entered in the resting room and sat on one of the sofa and turned the TV on. At this hour, “The Show” was broadcasted and they were about to announce the winner of this week. The competitors of today were DKZ, Epex and… Dreamcatcher? Taehyung probably new it and went to cheer them on.

On by one, their scores were shown and, with only 14 points of difference, Dreamcatcher won, one more time. Taehyung must have been proud of them, their second win after 5 years of hard work. Even I was happy for them and caught myself smiling as the results were announced. Well, I couldn’t blame myself for that, Yoohyeon was so nice and endearing, I was happy for her. Plus, her reading her speech on her hand reminded me how fun she was. If she was like this, her members must have been cool too and I was getting excited to meet all of them myself.

“They are really talented. I just saw their music video “Maison” and I really liked it.” Namjoon said, standing at the entrance. I didn’t hear him coming, that scared me.

“Yes, they are for sure.” I answered. “Moreover, they just won their second win after 5 years, that’s so cool!”

“It is! And after 5 years you said? Wow, they are so brave for not giving up! I admire them a lot for that!”

His words made me so happy, he could see how hard-working and passionate they were. If he likes them, maybe our two groups could become friends, who knows? And, maybe like for Taehyung, it could help us to forget for a moment all of this pressure?

“You know what?” He added, sitting next to me on the sofa and fixing the screen. After some seconds looking at the TV, he admitted “They make me think of us.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“When we had our first win, with “I need you”. Before that time, we thought that we were nobody and it was frustrating not to win anything when we gave our best. And after that, we felt like flying, like we could achieve anything. We found back this hope we had when we were trainees, this hope to become incredible singers, famous everywhere, all around the world. And look where we are today. We had more than 450 wins, were nominated at the Grammys twice, sang with international artist.” He explained. “Maybe this little group who just won their first win after 5 years will do better than us. Who knows?”

“Yes, who knows?” I repeated. When he said this, I realized once again how lucky I was to have a leader like him. He was so caring, so supportive. When we felt down, he comforted us, he motivated us every day and fought for us when he needed to. I had the best leader, that was for sure, and for nothing in the world I would change him for another.

As we were talking, Hoseok knocked at the door.

“Hey guys, sorry to bother you but manager Minho wants to speak to us. We have to go to the meeting room now.”

Namjoon and I shared a confused look before standing up to follow Hoseok.

**********

We quickly arrived in the meeting room and took our seats, wondering what the meeting was about. Manager Minho followed us with a file in his hands and took place at the end of the table.

“Taehyung is not here right now but it’s okay.” He started. “I know how stressed you are with your future comeback and you solo activities so I thought about something. what did you love to do recently?”

I didn’t know what he was talking about and, seeing the other’s expression, them neither.

“Sleep.” Yoongi said out of nowhere.

We all burst into laughter, including our manager. Although he loved to compose and rap, his greatest passion was to sleep.

“That was a good one.” Manager Minho said, still laughing. “But I was talking about your professional life.”

“The tour?” Namjoon asked.

“Exactly!” Our manager confirmed. “This contact with your fans, hearing them screaming your names and singing with you, enjoying your time on stage. You liked that, right?”

“Of course!” We all answered together.

“So, what about meeting them again… at the K-pop Flex?”

The K-pop Flex, one of the biggest K-pop festival ever. We would travel again, meet our fans and have a great time with other Idols. We all started to have stars in our eyes, thinking how amazing it would be to participate to this festival.

“You’re seriously telling us that we will be part of this festival?” I asked to be sure.

“Yes.” He affirmed with a smile, seeing how happy we were. “I thought that giving you the opportunity to have normal activities with others groups could make you feel better. What do you think?”

“That’s amazing, thank you so much!” Namjoon thanked him and we all did the same.

“But that’s not all.” He continued. “Did you see the collaboration between Enhypen and TXT?”

“Of course! They did really good!” Hoseok answered.

“Yes, they did, and they had more that 11 million views on YouTube!” Our manager explained. “Today, collaboration between artists or groups is really popular so I thought it would be a good idea for you to do something with one of the artists of the K-pop Flex.”

He opened his file and took out some profiles of it. On each profile, there were pictures of the artists or the members of the group with basic information like name, date of birth, and nationality and also their specialties and position. He gave us the papers and went on with his explanation.

“Here are the different artists who will be present at the festival. I will let you choose, but don’t forget, you have to choose a group that will bring you something, they should not be the only ones to benefit from this collaboration.” He added before leaving the room.

“So maybe we should start.” Namjoon started. “Any suggestions?”

“Maybe first, we can decide what we want to show. Like we could do a collaboration with Kai, to show the power of the K-pop male of the 3th gen or with (G)I-dle or Mamamoo to deliver a sexy performance.” Yoongi suggested.

“I think we would have a bigger impact with a sexy choreography with girls.” Jin stated. “Like, look at the performance between Yoona and Yunho or the collaboration between HyunA and Hyunseung for “Trouble Maker”. It will always be iconic.”

“Yes, you are right.” Jimin agreed. “So, if we choose a girl group, we have the choice between, (G)I-dle, Mamamoo, Ive and Dreamcatcher, right? But, to be honest I don’t see myself dance a sexy choreography with teenagers…”

“Yes, me neither…” I joined him. He was right, they were really popular but the oldest was only 19 years old, people would probably call us perverts and pedophiles and that was the last thing I wanted. “So, it means we have the choice between (G)I-dle, Mamamoo and Dreamcatcher. But personally, I would choose Dreamcatcher.” I added, almost whispering the last sentence, I was a bit scared of their reaction. After all, they were the less popular between the three and they had a really unique music style. But I really liked their music and they looked really nice. Plus, I knew Taehyung would have said the same thing so I was always speaking for him.

“I agree with Jungkook.” Namjoon joined me. “They recently won their second win and are gaining in popularity. Moreover, they are more in the rock style so it would be the occasion to show to the public that we can really fit to any genre. Finally, they are 7 members of our age so it’s perfect. What do you think?”

I was speechless. He has only been interested in them since yesterday and he already believed in them so much. He gave a chance to all the people who deserved it and once again, he made me proud to stand by his side.

As I was observing the other’s expression, Jimin’s eyes widened as if he had a realization. He looked at me and mouthed “Taehyung Idol?”. I nodded and a smile appeared on his face.

“Oh yes, Dreamcatcher. I saw them yesterday, they were really pretty!” He helped.

“I don’t know… rock really?” Yoongi hesitated. Damn, we couldn’t miss that opportunity to work with them, we had to convince him.

“What is it? Rock is really cool and it will make our performance even more iconic.” I tried.

“I’m not sure, we would need maybe a sensual song and I know Mamamoo are really good with sexy performance.”

“Dreamcatcher too!” Jimin yelled. “I mean… yeah Dreamcatcher can also do that.” He repeated more quietly. “Wait let me show you.”

He took his phone out and started to search something on internet. He put his phone in portrait mode and showed us “Red Sun” by the girls. I couldn’t read Yoongi expression on his face and starting to get scared. When the song stopped, Yoongi leaned back on his chair but Jimin wanted to show him the end of video, the bloopers. I never saw it so I watched the screen and I wasn’t even surprise than half of the bloopers was on Yoohyeon, this girl was really something.

When the video finished, we all looked to Yoongi to know what he thought about it and he was smiling.

“And besides being funny they are super talented and creative, they created themselves this choreography.” Jimin added.

Yoongi was thinking for some seconds, seconds which felt like years. He looked at us, one by one and smiled, announcing:

“Dreamcatcher is a good choice.”

**********

Jimin and I ran to find Manager Minho and tell him than we chose Dreamcatcher to collaborate with. After 1 hour, he came back to us.

“We called their agency and it really wasn’t hard to convince them to collaborate with us. So, it’s official, you will work with Dreamcatcher!”

Chapter Text

Yoohyeon's POV:

One week later, we had our first training with the boys. I had talk with Jiu and she forgave me. She told me that what made her mad was the fact that I accepted to hang out with a boy I didn't even know and even more a boy who did everything to reach me and all of that without informing her. I couldn't tell her what really happened so I just agreed with her on the fact that I was naïve and that it was stupid.

On our way there, in the car, our manager gave us last instructions.

"So BTS is the greatest and most famous K-pop group ever. I could tell you how lucky you are to work with them but I think it's the opposite, they should be happy to work with you."

"Oh, I'm sure they are." Siyeon said, looking at me with a smirk.

"It's only a professional collaboration." Jiu answered with a serious tone. She was acting so cold when we were talking about the boys, I didn't know why.

"Yes, you're right Jiu." Our manager agreed. "As I said, they are really popular and they have millions and millions of fans. So, we have to avoid big ships between both of you or scandals and for that, try to not stick to only one of them in public, and don't get too close to them. I don't want to have to protect you against their fans because it's literally an Army! However, you can have fun with them during practice."

We all nodded, determined to work hard with the boys and deliver a good performance.

**********

As we arrived in front of their building, we were amazed by the its height. We had to break our neck to be able to see the top of the building. It was so different from our agency and it made me feel so small. Maybe this collaboration was a bad idea, maybe this world wasn't for us. What if we fail the performance? Everyone will put the fault on us. I started to stress more and more as bad thoughts crossed my mind. But a hand on mine brought me back to reality.

"Hey, are you okay?" Jiu asked me with a little smile, seeing I was shaking.

"Yeah, I just... stress a little bit. What if we do bad? What if-"

"No, stop the 'what ifs' and stop stressing. Everything will be okay, don't worry. And like our manager said in the car, they are lucky to work us, not the opposite, so they should be the ones stressing, not you, okay?" She reassured me, caressing my cheek with the palm of her hand.

I nodded and followed her inside, not letting go of her hand. Even after all those years, my heart couldn't stop betting fast for her.

The lobby was probably the height of all Dreamcatcher Company and there were so many people well dressed and walking in every direction, it looked like an anthill. Now, I could understand Taehyung when he said that his world was really different from mine.

We waited a few seconds before a woman in a suit with perfect hair and makeup came to see us.

"Hello, you must be Dreamcatcher, right?"

"Yes, it's us." Jiu answered with a smile. She looked so relaxed, I envied her.

"Okay, perfect. Follow me." The woman added, taking us in a big elevator. She presented her badge and pressed the button 14 out of 59. 59 floors, that was crazy, we had only 5. "This part of the building is private so we need a specific badge to get there." She explained.

The elevator stopped and the doors opened on a long corridor. We followed the woman and quickly heard music and masculine voices. And among them, I could recognize a lower voice, that was Taehyung.

As we were getting closer and closer from where they were, I was getting more and more stressed but also excited. Jiu gently squeezed my hand and smiled at me to reassured me. That's when I saw it, I could read it in her eyes. She was also really stressed but didn't want to share what she felt, she preferred to hide it, as always... I gave her a little smile and looked down still walking with her hand in mine. This behavior was one of the things that destroyed our relationship years ago.

As I was thinking, I didn't realize that the group stopped and bumped into Siyeon. I whispered a "sorry" and turned my attention to the woman.

"The boys and staff are waiting for you in this room." She said pointing at door. "I will let you here. If you need anything, ask to one of the staff." She then bowed and left by where we came from.

"Maybe we should enter then." Handong proposed.

Jiu led the way to the door, pulling me with her. She slowly put her shaky hand on the handle of the door and took a deep breath before opening the door.

"Welcome!" The boys and the staff yelled as we entered in the room. They all were smiling, laughing and applauding us. My stress disappeared in a second and I couldn't help but smile. I went to see Taehyung and Jungkook but Jiu held me back and whispered in my ear:

"Wait, we have to do our introduction. And don't stick only to them, remember what we talk about in the car." She stepped back and let go of my hand. "1, 2, 3!"

"Dream of me! Hello, we are Dreamcatcher!" We all said together.

RM gathered his members and did the same thing.

"1, 2, 3! Bang-"

"Tan! Hello, we are BTS!" His members continued.

"Hello, my name is RM and I am the leader of BTS, nice to meet you!" He bowed.

"I'm Jiu, it's a pleasure to work with you." She bowed as well, giving a big smile to RM. And for a few seconds they just looked in each other's eyes, smiling.

"Hum... I'm Yoohyeon." I said taking her hand. What was she doing? She just told me to not get to close to them and here she was sharing a lovely look with their leader.

"And I'm V, but you can call me Taehyung." He bowed to me, giving me a sweet smile. I just realized it, but he really looked like a prince.

I tried to let go of Jiu's hand to go to see him but she didn't let me. I looked at her in the eyes, trying to read what she thought but she avoided my gaze and released my hand.

We quickly finished to introduce each member and I went to see Taehyung and Jungkook.

"Hey, how are you doing guys?" I asked them.

"We are so happy to do this collaboration!" Jungkook said happily. "Especially Taehyung, he talked about it every day." He continued as Taehyung hid his face in his hands.

"Everyone, please come here." RM called us.

We all joined Jiu and him in the center of the training room and installed chairs in a circle. I sat between Yubin, my best friend and Taehyung, my new friend.

"So, when we chose you, we thought about doing a 'sexy' performance. What do you think?" RM asked.

"Oh, I love that idea!" Sua yelled.

"Me too! But we have to avoid shipping things and love scandals, though." Siyeon reminded.

"Yes, but don't worry. If we don't show any sign of affection out of stage, it will be alright." Jimin reassured us.

"Ok, I'm in too." I agreed with a smile.

"Me too!" Handong added.

"Yes, it looks fun!" Gahyeon said.

"If even our maknae is in, let's do it!" Yubin agreed too.

"Well, all of my members agreed so now I can't refuse." Jiu smiled at RM.

I couldn't hold it. They looked like our parents and so it meant couple. She was 28 and it was the age to find the person she loved and maybe have a family but I wasn't ready for her to find someone. I knew it was really selfish but I couldn't help thinking this way. I clenched my fists on my thighs, trying to suppress this feeling when Yubin put her hands on my fists.

"Hey, are you alright?" She whispered.

I nodded as I was still looking at the leaders having fun together.

"I know it's hard, but you have to move on, Yooh."

"I try, but it's easier said than done." I defended myself, now looking down.

"You still feel something for her, right?"

To this question, my heart tightened. Yes, I still felt something for her, but I couldn't do anything. She would find someone for her while I would still be stuck. I gave a little nod to Yubin, to let her know how I felt. She was my best friend, my confidant, I knew I could trust her.

"Yoohyeon, it's been 3 years already. I know we are idol, but try to meet other people, I don't know. Look, you're getting close to Taehyung, no?"

I turned my head toward Taehyung and observed him for a bit. He was really handsome, funny, kind and caring but it was way too soon to think of him in a romantic way. As I was looking at him, he turned his head and smiled at me. He was really cute, that was for sure.

"Yoohyeon, are you okay?" Siyeon asked me from the other side of the circle.

I had to blink a few times to get out of my trance before I turned to Siyeon, not understanding why she asked that.

"Yes, of course. Why?"

"We called you but you didn't answer. Were you lost in mister perfect's eyes?" She asked, smirking.

"Wh-What? N-No, I-I wasn't. Wait, were you talking about Taehyung? And what did you call me for?" I stammered.

"Yeaaah, good job puppy, we were indeed talking about him." Sua continued. "And we asked you what you were thinking about the plan."

"What I'm thinking? But I told you, I'm in for a sexy performance."

At this answered, Sua and Siyeon burst out laughing and I couldn't understand why, I answered their question.

"We have changed the subject since then, Yoohyeon." Sua continued still laughing.

I turned to Yubin not understanding what she was talking about. In fact, I was so lost in my thoughts that I couldn't really listen to anything.

"While you were dreaming, we started to do "couples" for this stage. We are 14 so we need to be well organized. If we start changing partner every second, it would be a mess. So RM proposes to put you with Taehyung but Jiu thought it would be a better idea to put you with Suga. What do you think?"

"With Suga? And why not with Taehyung?" I asked Jiu, hoping it was by jealousy.

"Because you are already close with him so if people see you two together on stage and outside, you could get into trouble. By being with Suga, you can keep your proximity with him without worrying." She explained.

How stupid was I to think she would be jealous? Yubin was right, I had to move on. After three years, I had the right to be happy and to find someone who would really love me. I turned to Taehyung and said:

"Yes, you're right. I would do anything to keep this proximity."

Taehyung's eyes widened at my words and a big smile appeared on his face. I met him only some weeks ago and yet, I could feel how sincere he was in this friendship. And honestly, it felt good.

"Okay, so to summarize, Jiu is with Jin, Yoohyeon with Suga, Dami with me, Siyeon with Jimin, Handong with V, Gahyeon with Jungkook and Sua and J-hope will be together to create the choreography, that's right?" RM asked.

"Yes, exactly. Now, we have to find a song." Jiu added.

And for the following 30 minutes, we tried to find a good song, going on YouTube, trying some dancing step, hitting some high notes to finally reach an agreement. First, the boys would do "Rainism" and we would dance with them to give them a 'bad boy' image. Then we would take over and become 'the strong girls who control boys' with the song "Abracadabra". We wanted to do a little wink to our past to remind the public where we come from. And finally, once the public would be hotter than ever after those performances, we would make them scream even louder by dancing together "Love Shot" by EXO.

This collaboration was going to stay in memories and we would work hard to put the fire on stage. After all, we were Dreamcatcher and BTS, we were born for that.

Chapter Text

Sua's POV:

It was our second day of training, and today it was only J-hope and I. Yesterday, we just define what we would do, the couples and the songs. But today, we were going to start to create the choreography. However, Siyeon wanted to come with me, supposedly because she loved to see me create choreographies, but I knew it was because she was jealous. And it was so cute.

Siyeon and I were dating for almost 5 years. I proposed her a few days after fact in star. The pepero game made me realize how much I liked her lips on mine and how I wanting it to be always this way. Every time I thought about her, I couldn't help but smile and she was really the person who made me happy. She was sweet, caring, funny and so dawn sexy. So when I learnt she felt the same, I was the happiest person ever! We made it official but hid it from everyone. And when our CEO and manager discovered it, they supported us and helped us to hide it to the public. Same went for the members. I was lucky to be in this team, surrounded by such caring and loving people.

As we left Dreamcatcher company to get in the car, Siyeon suddenly asked me:

"What is happening between Minji unnie and Yoohyeon recently?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, since we met Taehyung, one day they are best friend and the other they can't even look at each other."

She was right. At first, Minji was mad because Yoohyeon worried her and didn't tell her everything but after that they fixed things together so I didn't understand what was happening. Lately, Yoohyeon slept a lot in Yubin's bed and she did that when she wasn't feeling well. Moreover, Minji got cold to her every time we spoke about BTS. I didn't know what was the problem between them but it made me sad to see my roommate and best friend be like that.

"You're right." I answered her. "At first, I thought she had a problem with Taehyung and BTS so I was a little bit scared of yesterday's meeting. But it went pretty well and she got friend with RM. Plus, she didn't have any problems with Yoohyeon, she was holding her hand and all. Maybe they solved their argument and will stop fighting?"

"I'm not sure. Did you see how she refused Taehyung to be with Yoohyeon for the dance couples? And did you see how she stopped her from going to Taehyung by holding her hand? It was as if she wanted to avert her from getting close to him." She thought for a bit and added. "She can't be jealous, right? And if she really is, she shouldn't get in the way of Yoohyeon's happiness, she promised."

"Yes, I know she promised but imagine how hard it must be for her. What would you do in her situation? Wait, what are we talking about? We don't even know what she's feeling right now, same goes for Yoohyeon. And she told me she was like that because she was scared that BTS' members use their power to control Yoohyeon or any Dreamcatcher's members. She's right after all. If they do something to one of us, who do you think the public will believe?"

"I agree with you on this point but I think you should talk with her. No matter how she feels, she has promised. After all those years, Yoohyeon deserves her happiness, she deserves to forget what happened and find someone who will really take care of her and treat her right. And for your information, in her situation, I would have never done anything she did." She raised her voice. She sighed and continued calmly. "Look, I really love Minji, she had been my roommates for 10 years and she's the best leader I could wish for but what she did was wrong. And I know what I'm talking about. Every night for months, I was comforting a crying and broken Yoohyeon. She really deserves better than that."

"Yes, I understand and I will talk with Minji. I will remind her of her promise and ask her to let the puppy be happy again. Plus, this story should not affect the group, right?"

"Yes, thank you, honey." She said turning to me and pecked my lips. "I love you."

"I love you too." I responded, smiling. She was really the cutest, so caring and sweet to the ones she loved. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have her.

**********

After a few minutes, we finally arrived at the agency. It was time for me to show what I was born for, dancing and creating amazing choreographies. We went out of the car and took the same way as yesterday to go to the training room. As we arrived in the room, we saw J-hope stretching, he didn't lose any time.

"Hey J-hope, what's up?" I said excitedly, putting my bag in a corner.

"Hey Sua! Oh, Siyeon you came too?"

"Yes, to help you if you need an assistant, you know."

"Haha, yes, it's nice of you!" He answered happily. "By the way, you can call me Hoseok if you prefer!"

"Okay, thank you! I advise you to not call her Bora, though. Well, only if you value your life." Siyeon added laughing.

"Yeah, I'm not really comfortable with the name Bora." I justified myself.

"No problem, Sua is cool for me!" He agreed, smiling. "You can start stretching, I'm coming back in a bit." He said, leaving the room.

I sat on the floor, a bit confused, and starting to stretch, like he told me to. After some minutes, he came back in the room with a folding chair and unfolded it next to Siyeon.

"Here a chair for you." He announced proudly. He then took a paper out of his pocket and handed it to Siyeon. "I also went to ask the wifi code if you're bored!"

"Thank you so much, you shouldn't have!" Siyeon bowed several times.

"You're welcome! Sua, are you ready?"

"Yep, all ready! So did you think about some things already?"

"Yes, yesterday I watched your "Abracadabra" relay dance and saw the most viewed moment. You have really hot fans, damn!"

"Yes, we raised them well." Siyeon answered, smirking.

"I see that! So I thought about something for your performance. You know, in the original MV, the girls are against the boy and at the end, they almost kiss. Also, your fans really liked the part where Jiu is standing and Yoohyeon and Siyeon are... well... hum... tou-touching h-her?"

"Yes, I see which part you are talking about." I helped him a bit. "So, you propose to do a sexy dance between us girls at that moment of the song, right?

"Yes, exactly. What do you think?"

"I like this idea! Plus, our nickname is gaycatcher so we are used to it!"

"Well... I think it suits you well..." He laughed awkwardly.

"Yes, I think too! Also, for "Love Shot", I thought about something. We did a cover of the chorus of this song and our fan were crazy about jiu doing this dance so she could be in the center for the first or second chorus."

"Good idea! She could do the first and maybe Jimin the second. But we could adapt the move to make it for two people. Like this, for the first chorus, Jiu and Jin would be at the center and for the second, it would be Jimin and Siyeon."

"Okay, let's do that!"

And just like this, we spent two hours working on the choreography. Siyeon also helped us by giving us some ideas and Hoseok was really funny but serious at the same time so it was a pleasure to work with him.

**********

When we arrived at the dorm, I ran to take a shower. I had sweated a lot and was all sticky. But as soon as I opened the door of the bathroom, I fell on Yoohyeon, wrapped in her towel, with her wet hair falling on her shoulders. She was standing in front of the mirror, not moving and just starring at herself in the reflection.

"Hum... Yoohyeon, are you alright?" I asked.

"Why is everyone asking me this question? Yes, I'm alright!" She answered, raising her voice on me. She sighed and looked down. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have raised my voice."

"Don't worry, it's okay." I reassured her, putting my hand on her shoulder. "You seem a little tense these days, what is happening? Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, it's nothing, it's just... temporary."

"Is it because of... Minji?"

"... yes."

"Come here." I wrapped my arms around her, even if she was wet, and hugged her tightly, I knew she needed it right now. And without surprise, she hugged me back even tighter. "Don't worry, I will talk to her. In the meantime, try to keep your mind occupied. Look, where is Yubin? You could-"

"I'm not a kid anymore, Sua unnie, I can take care of myself alone, you don't need to talk to her when it's my problem." She said, pulling away.

"Here, it's not only your problem, Yooh, if it continues, it will affect all the group."

"I'm sorry." She apologized, looking down again.

"Sorry for what? It's not your fault!" I scolded her. She tended to think that it was always her fault when something happened.

"Did you talk about it with Yubin?"

She nodded.

"What did she say?"

"She said that I should forget the past and move on by meeting new people. And she thinks that Taehyung could make me happy again."

"And what do you think about it?"

She went back to the mirror and stared at herself for a few seconds. She then looked down, sighing deeply.

"I'm not good enough."

That was too much. I went to her and gave her a small blow to the back of her head. She let out a little complaint and rubbed the spot where I had hit her.

"Ya, I hope I heard wrong! What did you say?" I scolded her again, raising my voice.

"It's true! Do you know who he is?"

"And what? What if he is super famous and has millions of fans? He's still human, Yoohyeon. And you too. You should put aside this hierarchy we are living in and try to meet new people. Listen to Yubin's advice and give him a chance. Look, we just won our second win and we will soon go in Germany, isn't it cool? Enjoy a bit your time and forget your problems for a bit, okay? You are pretty, funny, kind, talented and a bit clumsy but that's cute. So stop denigrating yourself. You deserve to be happy."

"Yes, you're right."

"Of course I am! I am Sua Queen after all!"

"So... what should I do with Taehyung? Go on a date with him? Isn't it to early?"

"If you feel like it's too soon, then it must be. But don't worry, you will get closer to him with our trainings." I thoughts for some seconds and an idea crossed my mind. "Why don't you invite him here and spend the evening with him while I take the members somewhere else? Maybe not as a date but as a... an evening between friends? Like this, you get the opportunity to learn more about each other. What do you think?"

"Yes, it's a good idea! But I think we should ask Jiu unnie first. Though, I don't think she will say no since she wants to help me keep my friendship with him. Give me a minute to change and I will go ask her!" She said happily.

"No, don't worry. Go change yourself, I will ask her. Plus, I have to talk to her about something else so I don't mind." I smiled at her.

"Okay, thank you unnie!"

As she left the bathroom, I headed to Minji's room. I knew that if Yoohyeon asked her herself, Minji would become cold and say no. I knew she wasn't really okay with this relationship she built recently. And I didn't want the puppy to get hurt again. So I had to do it myself.

I put my hand on the handle of the door and opened it. It was time to discover what was happening in Minji's head.

Chapter Text

Minji's POV:

Today was a pretty quiet day. This morning, we started to train around 10 a.m. for two hours and came back to the dorm. After that, Yubin and Yoohyeon went to eat outside, same for Dongie and Gahyeon and the Suayeon couple went to train at the Hybe building. So I had a few hours for myself.

I took my time to eat delicious foods our manager gave us, took a long shower and called my family to take some news. I hadn't seen them for a long time and I missed them a lot.

After a bit, the members came back, except Sua and Siyeon and it reminded the collaboration. I was really excited to see what they prepared for us! So as soon as they came back, I ran to open my door to meet them but I bumped into Siyeon who was about to enter the room.

"Hey, how was it?" I asked excitedly.

"Hey, that was so cool! We worked really hard and we already have a part of the choreography!"

"Really?! That's amazing! Do you have a video maybe? Or you could show me if you prefer!"

"Hey, hey, calm down a little bit unnie!" She laughed, putting her hands on my shoulders to stop my little jumps. "If you want to know anything, go ask Sua unnie!" I detached myself from her and was about to see the tiny dancer when Siyeon stopped me. "Wait, she's going to take a shower first. She's really sticky. Even I don't dare to touch her!"

"She's going to take a shower? But Yoohyeon is showering right now I think."

"Do you really think it's a problem for Sua unnie?" She smirked.

"No, clearly not." I laughed.

"Just wait a little bit, she'll come see you when she's done showering." She added as she left the room.

I went to lay on my bed and starting scrolling on Instagram. There was nothing really interesting so I was about to quit the app when I fell on an edit of Yoohyeon and I. They put videos of us hugging and kissing each other, it was cute. I continued to swipe downwards to see others videos of this kind. There was even the video of the pepero game. I saved some of them and continued to scroll when the door opened and Sua entered. I turned my phone off and went excitedly to her when I realize she still had the same outfit and wasn't wet.

"You didn't take your shower? What did you do in the bathroom with Yoohyeon for so long?"

"We just had a chat between roommates."

"About what?" I asked as I went to sit back on my bed, inviting her to join me.

"About Taehyung." She said as she sat next to me.

Of course it was about him. What else could it have been? It was always him. Taehyung here, Taehyung there. Every time someone pronounced his name, I felt like I was being stabbed in the heart. Even if he was really nice, I couldn't help but hate him.

"Minji, are you listening?" Sua took me out of my thoughts.

"I'm sorry what did you say?" I asked, confused.

"I was asking if Taehyung could come here one evening."

"For what?" I didn't understand why she wanted him to come. It would be strange a man alone with seven girls.

"Well, we could go out, the six of us and he could spend the evening here with Yoohyeon."

"Yoohyeon and him here alone?! No, never!" I raised my voice.

Was she crazy? Didn't she know what could happen? A man and a woman alone in an apartment, it was obvious. I briefly imagined the scene and it disgusted me. I couldn't let that happen, even more here, in our home. She stared at me for a few seconds, not saying anything. What was she thinking again?

"Minji, do you really want me to remind you the promise you made?"

"What? It doesn't have anything to do with that!"

"Really? Then, can you tell me why you hate him that much?"

"I don't hate him! They can do whatever they want, just not here! If they want to do dirty things, it's not my problem, but they're not doing that here. Tell them to get a motel room."

"So you're telling me the only problem in the place? You don't care if Yoohyeon dates Taehyung?"

"Of course I don't, I'm not her mom."

"Minji, you're a really good actress but a terrible liar." She put her hand on my back and did little circles with her palm. "You can talk to me, you know. I won't judge you."

I did the best I could to hold my pain but tears started to fill my eyes. I was about to break down.

"Yes, I still love her. So what?" I admitted, now crying my eyes out.

Sua put her arms around me, hugging me tightly and caressing my back. I was so angry at myself for what I had done. I had been horrible to her and now I was paying the price. I wanted her so badly even though I knew she deserved better.

I detached myself from Sua and I wiped away the tears that ran down my cheeks. I didn't deserve to be comforting. I was the only one at fault so I had to assume the consequences alone.

"If you came to remind me to stay away from her, I will, don't worry. I didn't forget the promise I made. But please, not here. To think they had romantic moment where I live, eat and sleep, it's too hard."

"Yes, I understand... Look, I will give you the same advice Yubin gave to Yooh but... try to meet other people and find someone made for you."

'Made for me' what did it mean? Someone who would make me feel loved? Someone who would give me the strength to get up in the morning? Someone who would brighten my days and nights? For me, this person was Yoohyeon, she was the one I needed. But I knew she was out of reach.

"Finding someone else while living with Yoohyeon is a bit complicated." I admitted with a sad smile. "Maybe when I turned 40, who knows? But the most important thing is her happiness. If she's fulfilled then I am too."

"I'm sure you will find someone for you." She smiled to me, caressing my cheek.

"At first, I wanted you to tell me how your training went but of all this crying tired me out and it's becoming complicated to keep my eyes open to be honest."

"Yes, it's normal. I hope you will feel better after letting everything out."

"I already feel better." I smiled as I laid on my bed.

"That's great. Good nap, pink princess, I call you when the dinner is ready." She added, as she kissed my forehead and left the room.

I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep. But when I was about to fall asleep, someone knocked on my door and opened it. Tough, the light of the corridor was too bright and prevented me from seeing who it was. The person saw that I was blinded and closed the door, coming towards me.

"Unnie, are you alright? I heard you cry, what happened?" This voice, I could recognize it among thousands. It was Yoohyeon. As I didn't answer and was just staring at her figure, she asked: "Do you need anything? A tea maybe?"

"Can you hug me?" I asked out of nowhere. I knew it was wrong but that was the thing I needed the most right now.

"Of course I can." She answered as she climbed on my bed and laid in front of me. She wrapped her arms around my waist and I put mine around her shoulders, hugging her tightly. Her hugs were so warm and could comfort anyone, I loved them so much. I held her even tighter and let a few last tears escape my eyes before falling asleep.

**********

The next day, we had our first real training with both team at the Hybe building. Since Sua didn't tell me what they prepared, I was really excited to discover what they did yesterday. Speaking of yesterday, Siyeon didn't talk to me or even look at me since she came to wake Yoohyeon and me up last night. It was probably because of the promise, she was afraid I would break it. I understood why she felt this way but it wasn't my intention and I had to talk to her to clarify the situation.

As we were leaving the company and getting in the car, I stopped, having an idea to have a moment with Siyeon.

"Hum... I just thought of it but I had to go pick up something at a friend's house and I won't be able to go later, she won't be there. But go without me, I'll meet you there with my car." They nodded and got in the car when I stopped them again. "Hum... Siyeon, could you come with me, please? It's a bit heavy so I won't be able to put it in the car myself."

She sighed and went out of the car, following me.

"Of course." She sighed again, still not looking at me.

We waved to the others before going to my car. I sat in the driver's seat and stared at the steering wheel, waiting for Siyeon to get in the car too.

"Good job, unnie, that was smooth. We could almost believe it was true... if we didn't know you. Unfortunately, I know you. And you're a terrible liar." She admitted as she took place and closed the door. "What was this excuse for?"

"I wanted to talk to you." I said, turning to face her. "Why are you like that with me? What did I do? Is it because I did a nap with Yoohyeon?"

She turned to look at me straight in the eyes and wanted to say something but stopped herself and just continued to stare at me. If a look could kill, I'd probably be dead.

"Unnie, do you really think the nap is the problem? So you don't understand why everything went wrong three years ago?" She looked really mad right now.

"Of course I understand! But I'm not playing with her, I just slept with her. It's normal to do that between members. I sleep with you sometimes and Yoohyeon is often with Yubin."

"But it's not the same and you know it."

"How is this not the same?"

"You've destroyed her in ways you can't even imagine and now that someone is coming to help her get back on track, you're stopping her."

"No, I'm not! Listen, I made you a promise and I will respect it. I won't get in the way of her happiness."

"You better."

She still looked mad and wasn't looking at me. She didn't believe me, I had to prove to her that she could trust me.

"Hum... Look. Yesterday, Sua suggested that the six of us goes out one evening to leave the apartment to Yoohyeon and Taehyung. At first, I wasn't really okay with this plan but if it can prove to you my good intentions... I'm willing to accept."

"Really?!" She asked with widened eyes, and now looking at me. "Are you sure it's okay for you?"

"Well... if it's okay for you then... yes." As I was accepting, my heart was hurting. I just gave up the happiness of my life.

"Thank you unnie." Siyeon thanked me, hugging me. "I know how hard it is for you but you're doing the right choice."

"But... Am I still allowed to hug her and sleep with her?" I asked to be sure.

"Sure. Just don't try to change her feelings or influence her. And when we talk about BTS or Taehyung, please don't get cold to her. I think she needs the support of her leader."

"Okay, I will do my best, thank you."

I detached myself from her and gave her a smile before starting the engine and leaving for Hybe.

**********

As we arrived in the training room, the others were already warming up and chatting with each other. As usual, I counted my members to know if someone was missing and without even realizing it, I also counted the boys. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, ... 8? Did I just count 8 boys? I counted again to be sure I was right and, indeed, there were 8 men in this room. I started to search who the intruder was and that's when I saw him, friendly chatting with Dami and RM, Kai from Exo. What was he doing here?

"Perfect, you're all here!" A man entered the room. I didn't know who he was, but judging the non-reaction of the boys, they probably knew him. "My name is Han Minho, I am their manager." He explained, pointed at BTS. "RM, could you explain to the girls what I told you, please? They look a bit lost."

"Sure! So, girls, I think you all recognized him, he is Kai from Exo and he will perform with us."

"What do you mean? I though J-hope and Sua prepared a choreography only for our two groups." I asked, confused.

"So you don't want me?" Kai crossed his arms over his chest looking straight into my eyes.

"I-I... N-No, that's not what I meant! I'm sorry if you understood it this way." I bowed immediately. But as I didn't move, I heard a laugh coming from his direction. I raised my head a little and saw him laugh. That was a joke.

"I was just kidding Jiu-ssi, don't worry!" He explained himself. "And you don't need to bow or anything, you can talk to me casually!"

"Well... same goes for you then." I smiled shily at him.

After that, a heavy silence filled the room. It was awkward, I had to find something to say quickly.

"So... RM, you were saying that we would perform with him?" I came back to the first subject.

"Hum... yes. You know that we will perform "Love shot", one of the songs of EXO. And like Kai will also take part of the K-pop Flex, it would have probably been strange for him to see other artists do his song in front of him, no?"

"Yes, you're right." I agreed.

"Do you want to add something Kai?" RM asked.

"Hum, yes, maybe a proper introduction." He stood in the center of the room, facing us and cleared his throat. "Hello, my name is Kai. It's a pleasure to work with you." He bowed, before giving me a discreet smile.

Chapter Text

Taehyung's POV:

It was already a week that we were training for our performance and it was going pretty well. At first, Yoongi wasn't really happy about performing with Dreamcatcher, we didn't have the same style neither the same popularity so he was a bit cold toward the girls and especially Yoohyeon who was his partner for the dance. But when Kai came along, he opened up a bit to the others and we manage to convince him that this collaboration was a good thing.

Everything was perfect. Our duo training went very well and the group sessions were even better. Handong was really fun and super hard-working. When I was just a fan, I always admired her for her perfect Korean, even though she was Chinese. She was the savage ice princess that every Insomnia loved and I was so glad to be her partner.

Things couldn't be better. Well, that was what I thought before Yoohyeon invited me to have dinner with her in their apartment. Lately, we got really close by laughing and training together but we didn't really have the opportunity to get to know each other. So that's why she organized this dinner.

Since I met her, I felt like I could finally breath. I felt less stressed and freer. I didn't know if it was thanks to the collaboration or her, but I knew she changed something in me and her smile and good mood brought me a lot in my daily life. So I was more than glad when she invited me, even if she said it specified that it wasn't a date. She was right after all, we met not long ago, it was too soon to think about this. But still, I was so excited to meet her this evening and I wanted to speed up the time but I couldn't and had to wait 5 more hours. I couldn't stay in place and I had little tingles in my stomach.

So, to keep my mind occupied, Jungkook offered me to go play basketball with him in the agency's gymnasium.

"So... I guess you're excited for this evening, right?" He asked as he took a ball and started to dribble with.

"Yes, you can't even imagine." I answered, following him in the middle of the field.

"Well, I think you're clearly the luckiest fan ever! Having a date with your idol, it's really amazing."

"It's not a date."

"It looks like one."

"But it's not, she made it clear."

"And what do you feel about it? Are you disappointed? Would you have preferred it to be a real date?"

Would I have preferred it to be a real date? I didn't know. I didn't even know what I felt for her, but I knew that I liked being with her. Did I like her in a romantic way, or was it just a different friendship from what I was used to? Because, after all, she was a girl and had a really different style of life. Maybe I felt this way because I wanted this kind of life too and I felt like she was bringing me closer to it or at least giving me a sample of it.

Suddenly, a ball bounced off my head and brought me out of my thoughts.

"Yoohoo, Taehyung, I was talking to you, stop daydreaming." Jungkook said, while going to get the ball.

"Yes, I'm sorry." I apologized. "And to answer your question. I don't know what I feel for her, it's strange."

"You don't know if you like her? You never had a crush on anyone?" He asked, placing himself in front of me, reading to play.

"Yes, I already had but, with her, it's different." I answered, putting myself in a defensive position, ready to stop him.

"What do you mean?" He asked as he ran from left to right, overtaking me. He shot the ball and put it through the basket.

"I don't know. I feel so much better and less stressed since I met her. When I'm with her, I don't see time passing, hours are minutes and minutes are seconds. But I'm not sure of what I feel. I like her a lot but I don't think I'm 'in love'. After all, who can be in love after having met a person two weeks before? Love at the first sight doesn't exist." I explained as I went to get the ball and walked out of the zone.

"I think it exists, the love at the first sight I mean. And when it happens to you, it's hard to forget the person you fell for." He said, placing himself between the basket and me.

"Are you speaking from experience?" I asked as I tried the same strategy as him. But when I didn't work, I threw the ball over him. Unfortunately, he stopped it with his hands and walked away with it, exchanging place with me.

"Maybe."

"Really? Who was-" I started when he went around me to the left. I ran to him and placed myself in front of him to stop him but he was too fast and bumped violently into me, falling on me on the floor. We didn't move and just stared at each other, not saying anything.

"What will we become, you and I?" He asked, looking straight into my eyes and not standing up.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"You didn't notice? Since you met her, you're spending a lot of time with her, and so a lot less with me. What would happen if you dated her?"

"Nothing would happen, we would always be there for each other, right?" I tried to reassure him.

"Yeah... right." He said as he stood up. And was about to leave the room.

I quickly stood up and stopped him.

"Jungkook!" I called him to make him look at me and prevent him from exited. "What's on your mind, tell me please." I pleaded him.

"Nothing, don't worry. Have fun tonight." He said with a little smile, as he left.

I didn't know what he meant by that but I knew I had to talk to him to make him tell me what was on his mind. I did something wrong and I had to fix it as soon as possible. He was feeling down because of me and I couldn't bear to know that I hurt my best friend. But first, I had to get ready for tonight.

**********

It was 6:30 p.m. and I was waiting in my car in front of her apartment. She told to come around 7 p.m. and I didn't want to surprise her by arriving to early, so I just waited.

As I was listening to some music, the members, except Yoohyeon of course, came out of the dorm and walked away. I looked at them in my rearview mirror getting away but Sua stopped and walked back. At first, I thought she forgot something and was going back home but she came to my car and knocked on my window. I rolled it down and asked:

"How did you know it was me?"

"Well, we don't really see a lot a fancy car here." She explained. "Anyways, I just wanted to warn you about a few things. I know Yoohyeon told you it wasn't a date but it really looks like one and she didn't have any since a really long time so she's really stressed. Also, her last relationship didn't end well so don't put any pression on her. If she doesn't want to do something, don't force her. And finally, we come back at 11 p.m. so you have 4 hours. Have fun!" She said as she left.

"Wait!" I stopped her. "What do you mean by her last relationship didn't end well? What happened?"

"It's not my place to tell you."

"Okay, I understand, thank you for the information. How soon can I get there do you think?"

"I think you can go in 10-15min."

"Okay, thank you!"

"No problem, have a good evening!" She winked at me before joining her group.

**********

15min later, I left my car and went to her building, putting the code she gave me and climbing to the 3rd floor. I stopped in front of her door and breathe deeply. That's when a thought crossed my mind, I didn't have any present. I should have bought at least flowers or chocolates. Or was it too romantic? Maybe a plant could be good? I looked at my watch and saw that I had 10min left. I was about to run downstairs when I heard a scream coming from the other side of the door. It was Yoohyeon for sure, she was home alone and I could recognize her voice. I knocked violently at her door, yelling her name.

"Yoohyeon! Yoohyeon! Are you okay!? Open the door!"

No answer.

I was getting more and more worried. I took a few steps back to get a run up and I was about to break down the door. No matter how bad the door was after that, I could pay for the repairs, but something had happened to Yoohyeon and I had to help her. I ran to the door, putting my shoulder in the first line, when the door opened, revealing Yoohyeon. It was too late to stop myself so I just through myself to the side, brushing against her and falling hardly on the floor.

She ran to me and help me to sat.

"Are you okay!? Are you hurt somewhere!?" She asked worried.

"No, I think I'm okay." I reassured her, standing up slowly.

"What were you thinking? Breaking down the door?"

"Yes!! I heard you scream! I called you but you didn't answer so I was worried! What happened?"

"Hum... nothing, don't worry." She smiled awkwardly, scratching the back of neck and crossing her legs.

I looked down and saw she was wearing wet slippers. I didn't understand at first but then saw she was hidden a red ankle with her other leg. I looked at the floor and followed the footprint of the wet slippers to the kitchen. That's when I understand what happened. Water was everywhere on the floor, as well as spaghettis and a pan. She burned her ankle preparing the dinner.

I turned to her and saw her looking down at her hands. Knowing her, she was probably feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry for what happened. You can just go wait in the living room and I will clean everything." She said as she entered in the kitchen.

I stood in front of her and put my hands on her shoulders, gently caressing them. She had to stop putting the fault on her every time something happened and take more care of herself.

"You go in the living room and wait for me, I'm coming in a bit." I told her as I released her.

She walked slowly and still with her head down in the living room, sitting on the couch. When I checked she wasn't moving, I started searching in the drawers and cupboards of the kitchen. I easily found the big bin I was searching and filled it with tepid water. I then went in her bathroom, taking a soothing cream I found and brought everything in the living room. I sat on the floor in the front on her and put her injured feet in the bin, making sure her ankle was in the water.

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

"Yes, don't worry. You don't need to do all of this."

"If I hadn't done it, who would have?" I asked, trying to make her look at me.

"I'm really sorry, I just wanted to make dinner and Sua unnie told me that doing spaghetti was easy. But it looks like I'm not even able to do the easiest things." She sighed.

"Don't be sorry, you did nothing wrong. And you're maybe not the best in the kitchen but there are many things you're good at! I would love to be able to learn foreign languages like you!" I cheered her up, putting her feet out of the water and applying the cream.

"Thank you." She said now smiling at me.

I smiled back at her and stood up.

"Okay so I think I saw some pack of ramyeon in the kitchen. You want to try your luck again?" I suggested.

"Sure! Do you want to eat ramyeon with me?" She smirked, laughing.

The confident Yoohyeon was back and I was more than glad. This evening didn't start well for her but it didn't mean it wouldn't be amazing!

And for the following minutes, Yoohyeon was preparing the ramyeon while I was cleaning the mess on the floor. Her second attempt was a great success and we took our food to the living room to eat on the couch.

"So, maybe we could ask each other basic questions like... hum... I don't know, what's your favorite color?" She suggested.

"Are you serious?" I laughed. "I think it's useless to ask basic questions. Without sounding strange, I already know a lot about you. You're from Incheon, you have two brothers and a sister, a dog name Pie, you like video games and are fan of Sunmi."

"Well... that's a bit creepy, but you're right it's useless. Any idea to learn to know each other?"

"Hum... Ah I know! Why did you choose to become an idol?"

"Good question. Well, it's kind of a basic story but I have always loved to sing and seeing all these idols on TV made me dream. I did many auditions and ended up at Happyface Entertainment. And honestly, I don't think I could have found a better agency. And you?"

"No, it's not basic. It's really cool that you were able to achieve your dreams. And for me, I never really wanted to be idol. In fact, the day of the audition, I was just supposed to accompany a friend. But it seems like the agency was amazed by my natural beauty." I said proudly, receiving a giggle from Yoohyeon. "So then, they started to train me and saw I had a lot of potential while I realize how much I liked singing and dancing. Plus, I became really close with my actual members and I totally saw myself live with them for years. So I accepted and today, I am one of the members of the great BTS!"

"Wow, what an incredible journey!"

"Yes, I've come a long way! But you too probably, no? You must have left some things behind you like your family, friends,... lover?" I almost whispered the last part as I wasn't sure if she was comfortable talking about it. Sua told me that, even today, this old story affected her and I wanted to help her to move on.

"Yes, you're right. Leaving my family was the hardest thing I think. I called them every day and, often, I just wanted to give up on my dreams to come back to them. I was just a lost 16-year-old girl who terribly missed her parents. And for my friends, It was also hard but they pushed me to come to Seoul to achieve my dreams. And I can still see them during holidays when I go back home or when they come to Seoul. And luckily, I didn't have any lover so I didn't need to break up to become idol. This is kind of great when I think about it. What about you?"

"Really? You didn't have anyone?" How was it possibly, Sua told me the opposite. Maybe she already broke up before becoming trainee? Or... was it during her training period? "And for me, it's kind of the same thing. It was hard at first but every time I wanted to quit, they reminded me why this job was made for me."

"It's probably like this for all the idols. But even if it's hard, we don't regret our choice. And yes, I didn't have anyone. Why? You wanted me to date someone and break his heart for my career?" She laughed.

"No, of course no! It's just... you're so incredible, you probably made all the boys of your school fall for you." I lied. In fact, that wasn't a lie but that wasn't the reason I thought she was dating someone. But if she didn't want to tell me, I wouldn't push her.

"Thank you but absolutely not. I think in all of my school years, I probably had one or two boys who had a crush on me. But that wasn't reciprocal."

"So, no one has been able to enter your heart yet?"

"Hum..." Her smile faded as she looked down at her bowl. "It's... it's complicated." She murmured.

Damn, I just reminded her a painful memory even though Sua warned me about that. I absolutely wanted to know and end up hurting her. How selfish was I?

"Well, I already fell in love with someone but she rejected me." I tried to comfort her.

"Really?"

"Yes. Besides, I don't think any of my relationships lasted more than 20 days. I didn't like rejecting people so, if I was close enough with the person I accepted. But it never ended well. I think I'm not the best in love either." I counted. I put my hand on hers to make her look at me. When our eyes met, I reassured her with a smile. "Don't worry, we all have someone made for us. We just have to be patient."

We stared at each other, not moving, as I was caressing the back of her hand with my thumb. She didn't say anything and yet I could read what she was feeling in her puppy eyes. Her last relationship had tormented her tremendously and it was difficult for her to trust again. I put my free hand on her cheek, admiring her features, she was so pretty. My hand followed her perfect jawline as my eyes fell on her lips. Her plump pink lips looked so soft, I almost wanted to kiss them. But I held back, maybe it was too soon.

Suddenly, her face came closer to mine and her lips gently touched mine. At first, she wasn't moving at all, I could even feel her lips trembling a little. She then started to move slowly while I was frozen, unable to do anything. I didn't expect her to do the first step and I didn't know what to think about it. But right now, I just wanted to enjoy the moment.

I closed my eyes and gently kissed her back. But she suddenly stepped back, surprising me. I didn't move, keeping my hand hanging in the air, trying to understand what just happened.

She stood up in a hurry, taking our two empty plates.

"I-I will bring this back to the kitchen." She said as she left me alone in the living room.

After a few seconds, I joined her in the kitchen. She was leaning on the edge of the sink, looking down, back facing me. What was she thinking at the moment? Did she think it was a mistake?

"Yoohyeon, are you okay?" I asked softly.

She turned to look at me and, after a few seconds, started to laugh. Did she become crazy? Why was she laughing? I looked at her, confused and waited for an explanation.

"How stupid I am." She sighed. "I'm doing what caused my last break up."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm using you." Using me? She was using her boyfriend? Or did he use her? I looked at her, waiting for a further explanation. "I'm using you to forget her."

'Her'? So her last relationship was with a woman? But if Yoohyeon was... gay, she wouldn't have kiss me... right? Or maybe she was bi?

"Do you... like girls?" I asked unsure.

"Yes, girls and boys."

Phew, she also liked men. Wait, why was I reassured? Did I like her? But it wasn't the time to think about it, she was going through a hard time and I was thinking about my own feelings, it was selfish. I was determined to help her to move on and that's what I was going to do.

I walked to her and took both her hands in mine, making her look at me in the eyes. She looked so lost, so hurt. Sua was right, her last relationship affected her a lot, even today.

"Yoohyeon." I started softly. "I'm here to help you to move on and forget her. I don't know what you went through and you don't have to tell me but it's in the past. You deserve to be happy but you can't if you're still stuck with those memories. So use me, I don't care. Use me to forget her, use me to move on, and find the one for you, even if it's not me. I don't even know what I feel for you but I know I like being with you and I know I want to help you." I put my hand on her cheek and caressed it gently. "I just want you to be happy again."

She put her hand on mine, closing her eyes and enjoying the touch. She looked so pretty, so peaceful. After a bit, she opened her eyes and stared into my eyes.

"You don't need to do that." She murmured.

"But I want to." I defended myself. "Why did you kiss me, Yoohyeon?"

"Because... I don't know... maybe because you make me feel secure and comfortable. I don't know what I feel for you either, but you make me feel important and... special?"

"Since neither of us knows how we feel about the other, I suggest we take some time to get to know each other better." I said, still caressing her cheek. And without realizing it, my eyes fell on her lips. I already missed their touch on mine. They were so addictive, so good. But I had to restrain myself, I just told her that we should take our time.

"Yes, you're right, we should get to know each other." She agreed. But when I came back to her eyes, I noticed that she wasn't looking at me in the eyes but lower. Was she staring at... my lips!? "But..." She continued. "Maybe we could do that after we kiss?"

I didn't need her to say it twice. I grabbed her face with my two hands and crashed my lips on hers. It felt so good, so right. Little by little, I deepened the kiss, biting gently her lower lip and making her open slightly her mouth, slipping my tongue that she gladly welcomed with hers. Now, our two tongues were dancing perfectly together, as if they were meant to meet.

Without realizing it, my body was stuck to hers, perfectly matching her shape. However, I was pushing her a bit too much and made her arched her back. So I grabbed her waist and sat her on the counter, letting my hands slide down and wander under her thighs. I put myself between her legs and I deepened the kiss as much as I could before noticing she was running out of breath. I let go of her mouth to let her breathe and attacked her neck. She tilted her head back, leaving me full access and grabbed my wavy hair with her hands, preventing me from backing up. I first placed little kisses everywhere I could before licking and sucking her neck passionately.

That's when I realized the big mistake I just did. Fuck, she was an idol, I forgot about that! I moved back a little and, shit, it was too late, I had left a hickey, very visible on top of that. It was too high to hide it with a collar, we had to use makeup.

As I interrupted our kissing session, Yoohyeon looked at me, confused.

"Taehyung? Are you okay?"

"I'm really sorry, Yooh. I promise I didn't want to do that. I just-"

"What are you talking about?"

"Hum... I-I let a hickey..." I explained, stepping back.

"What!? Oh, no way!" She yelled, running to the bathroom.

I followed her and saw her checking her neck in the mirror.

"The members will make fun of me for sure." She sighed.

"What? Are you worried only because of your members laughing at you?"

"Yes!"

"But... What if your agency sees it? And your fans?"

"My agency won't say anything, Siyeon unnie often has some. And for the fans I can just cover it with makeup, right?" She smiled at me. "Anyway, want some desert?"

'Desert'? What did she mean by that? A real desert or another kissing session? Both would be okay with me, but I didn't understand.

"Hum... what do you mean by 'desert'?"

"A real desert, you perv!" She laughed. "I bought some ice cream!"

I slapped myself inside, regretting the stupid question. My members made me have a dirty mind like them, it was their fault!

"Yeah, sure!" I answered her question, following her back to the kitchen.

We took our ice creams and went to sit on the couch, eating in silence. In fact, it wasn't an awkward silence, we just didn't need to speak to enjoy each other's company. When we finished, we put our waste on the little table in front of us, as I turned to face her.

"Can I ask you a question? You don't have to answer if you don't want to." I started.

"Sure, ask me whatever you want."

"Hum... what happened with 'her'?" I dared to ask.

"Ah... it's a long story." She sighed.

"I have all the evening."

She looked down and thought for a few seconds. It wasn't an easy decision, I could understand her. Telling the story that hurt you for years to someone you just met, I didn't know what I would have done. She raised her head, now looking at me, and gave me a warm smile.

"You really want to know?"

I nodded.

"Okay." She agreed. "It all started 9 years ago..."

Chapter Text

Yoohyeon's POV:

November 2013:

I couldn't believe it, I got accepted in a K-pop agency! I was going to be a trainee and maybe become an Idol! I was so excited to start, to learn new things, meet new people, live in Seoul! Living my dream in the great capital of South Korea, I couldn't be happier!

But I already missed my family really badly, even if I left them an hour ago. Saying goodbye to them made me question my desire to live my dream in the capital. However, they reassured me, telling me I would meet incredible people who would make me feel loved like they did and that I would be too busy to feel sad about the separation.

"We arrive in 30min." The driver announced. He came to pick me in front of my house an hour ago. I couldn't believe they sent a driver at Incheon just for a simple trainee. But I didn't complain, that was pretty cool. "I will let you at the agency and they will take you to your dorm."

I thanked him for the information before looking through the window. I was watching the tall buildings go by, cars passing us and many people walking mechanically, most of them focused on their phone. In fact, it wasn't that different from Incheon, but it made me feel different. That's when I realized, I was going to meet my roommates, the persons with whom I would spend most of my time, with whom I would grow and learn. I was getting more and more excited, thinking about that and couldn't hold anymore.

"Hum... excuse me, Sir." I started. "By any chance, do you know who will be my roommates?"

"I'm not sure but I think there is a free bed in the room of Minji and Siyeon. They are a bit older than you and have been here for about a year. But they are really nice, you will see."

'Minji' and 'Siyeon', their names were so cool, I was even more excited to meet them. I hoped they would like me. Now I was started to be nervous. What if I did something strange or hurt them by mistake? What if they rejected me? I tried to forget those bad thoughts as I focused my attention back to the window.

**********

30min later, we stopped and the driver parked the car, but I couldn't see any agency. Did we have to walk to get there? I didn't mind it but I just thought he would take us in front of the building.

I went out of the car, helping him to take my suitcases out of the trunk and followed him. But we didn't have to walk a lot since the building was right in front of us. I looked at it and it really didn't look like an agency but more like a house. With its three flours, it had nothing to do with the huge companies of fifty floors like the big 3. At least, I wasn't going to lost myself in it. One mistake avoided, phew!

The driver went to the entrance and typed a code, opening the door. He put my suitcases in the lobby and let me in.

"Okay kid, my job here is done so I leave you now. The CEO is coming in a few minutes so you can wait here." He pointed in a room at my left. "Don't worry, you don't have to stress or anything. If he chose you, it's because you're talented and you deserve to be here. So relax and enjoyed your life as a trainee. See you soon!"

I thanked him for his encouragement while bowing respectfully and watched him leaving the building, getting back in his car and driving away. I breathed deeply before putting my stuffs in a corner and going to sit on the couch of the resting room and waited. I waited for what looked like hours and as time passed by, I was getting more and more nervous, biting my nails and trembling my leg frenetically.

"Hey, you're okay? You seem stressed as fuck." A girl laughed from the entrance of the room.

Even though she was wearing casual clothes of training she seemed so cool and full of confidence. Her brown hair tied in a ponytail shows her fine features and her sharp eyes. I bet she must have been really charismatic on stage.

I stood up in a hurry to bow to her but crossed my legs by mistake and fell on my knees. I was so embarrassed. I slowly went back to my feet before seeing the cool girl running to me.

"Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself? Damn, you fell hard on your knees." She worried as she rubbed my pants.

"Yes, I'm okay, don't worry. I'm used to fell everywhere, anyway." I laughed awkwardly.

"Ya, be more careful!" She laughed. "By the way, I'm Dami! But you can call me Yubin!" She introduced herself, holding out her hand.

"I'm Yoohyeon, nice to meet you." I smiled, shaking her hand.

"Kim Yoohyeon, the new trainee from Incheon!" A man announced, entering in the room. It was Lee Juwon, the CEO of agency. Yubin and I bowed deeply, before she left, whispering a 'see you around'. "Take a seat, please." He pointed to the couch.

I followed him and sat on the sofa in front of him.

"When I saw you the first time, I was really impressed. You're only 16 years old and you already have a lot of potential." I thanked him and continued to listen to him. "So now, Yubin will take you to your dorm and you will have your whole day to unpack and maybe go out a little. And tomorrow you start your training. Don't worry, we will start slowly at first but you have to give your best for each training. Moreover, you will have to go to high school so you will need to work harder to catch up on the others. But Yubin is already following this schedule so you can ask her some advice. Do you have any questions?"

"First, thank you a lot for trusting me. I promise you I will give my best and I will work hard to make you proud!" I thanked him. He gave me the opportunity to get closer to my dream and maybe even reach it. "And... hum... Will I be in Minji and Siyeon's dorm?"

"Yes, you will for now. But how do you know them?"

"The driver told me there was a free bed in their room."

"Okay, I see. Yes, you will be with them for now. You will see, they really are the sweetest, they will welcome you well!"

"Okay, thank you!"

"I will take your suitcases in my car and bring them to the dorm. Like this, you can learn the way there with Yubin." He offered, standing up.

I stood up too and followed him in the lobby, where Yubin was waiting.

"Okay, girls. I will probably arrive before you but I can't wait for you, I have a meeting. So, take your time, your luggage will already be there."

We helped him to put my stuffs in his car and watched him drive away. Then, Yubin walked me to the dorm, showing me some nice cafe, a convenient store and some pretty streets to jog.

After 10min, we arrived in front of the building. She typed the entrance code and took me to the second floor.

"So, here are our dorms, for girls and boys. We are about ten girls and ten boys so we have 1 apartment each with 2 or 3 rooms." She explained, opening the door of an apartment. "Girls! I brought the newbie!" She yelled. "Your room is this one, normally your stuffs are there, you can start to unpack." She pointed as she left to go to her room I guessed.

"Okay, thank you." I said, walking with a hesitant pace toward my room. I was going to meet my roommates, I was so nervous but excited at the same time.

I put my hand on the handle of the door and was about to open when someone opened it from the other side, surprising me.

"Oh, hey! You're the new kid, right?" She asked with a smile.

She was so cute. With her fine features and round cheeks, she made me think of a rabbit maybe, or a hamster. But suddenly, I remembered that I had been told that she was older.

I bowed respectfully to her and introduced myself.

"Hello, my name is Kim Yoohyeon, I'm 16 years old and I come from Incheon."

"Wow, what a complete introduction!" She laughed. "My name is Lee Siyeon, I'm 18 and come from Daegu. Nice to meet you!"

"Nice to meet you too." I smiled at her as I started to take care of my suitcases.

But I was quickly interrupted by another girl entering the room. I turned to her, ready to bow when I was startled by her beauty. I have never seen anyone so beautiful. Her long brown hair following her perfect features and falling on her shoulders, a smile so bright and refreshing and such beautiful eyes that reflected kindness and benevolence. I couldn't help but look at her, I was lost in her eyes and it was impossible to get out of this trance.

"H-Hum..." I tried to get my act together. "Hello, my name is Kim Yooh-" I bowed deeply but bumped violently my forehead on the handle of my suitcases. I lost my balance and took a step back but I tripped on my backpack on the floor and fell on my butt.

I was so ashamed of myself. First, with Yubin and now with my new roommates. Right now, I just wanted to go back home and cry. Why was I this clumsy?

I buried my face in my hands, just wanting to disappear from this world when someone grabbed gently my hands and removed them. It was this pretty girl, she was kneeling in front of me with a worried look on her face.

"Are you okay? It must have hurt a lot, no? Wait, let me see."

She put her hand under my chin and made me raise my head slightly to expose my forehead to the light. She moved a few inches closer to my face and studied the spot I had hit. I didn't even dare to breathe.

"Siyeon, could you go take some ice, please? It's already really red, I think you will have a bump and a beautiful hematoma." She stated, putting a few strands of hair behind my ear. At this action, I felt a shiver run down my spine and my heart was beating faster and faster. I didn't know what was happening to me, I never felt that before.

Siyeon ran out of the room and came back a minute later with a pack of ice that she gave to this unknown girl. She carefully put it on my forehead and, when she saw me flinching to the cold contact, whispered a 'sorry'. She was so caring toward me, even though we didn't know each other.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" She asked, checking my body but not daring to touch me. She was pretty, caring and respectful. Was there something bad about her?

I shook my head as she took the ice pack away.

"Are you feeling dizzy maybe?" I shook my head once again.

"Okay, that's great." She smiled at me. How was it possible to be this pretty? "How about Siyeon and I help you to unpack your stuffs, we eat here together to show you the kitchen and the different household appliances? And then we could take you outside to show you around. What do you think?"

"Hum... Y-Yes, it would be amazing. T-Thank you." I stuttered.

"I was about to propose the same thing!" Said Siyeon. "Unfortunately, I'm not free this afternoon, so it will be only Minji unnie."

'Minji'? So it was her?

"Oh no, it's too bad... Is it still okay with you?... hum... what's your name by the way?"

"Yoohyeon, Kim Yoohyeon."

"Oh, another Kim!" She cheered with a big smile. "I'm Kim Minji by the way! But you can call me Jiu!"

"Nice to meet you." I smiled at her. Siyeon and her were really nice and caring, I was so lucky to be their roommates. It would change me from home, where I spent my life fighting with my siblings.

**********

It was now lunch time. They helped me to unpack all of my stuffs and showed me some things around the apartment, explaining to me their organization here. We were 10 trainees for 3 rooms so we were a little tight but it was okay, knowing we were outside all day.

We took our time to eat together to get to know each other. Siyeon told me that she was in a rock band during her school time at Daegu and that she really liked video games. She even offered to take me to an arcade next to the agency during a day off. Jiu, as for her, really liked plushies and pink stuffs. Siyeon even called her pink princess, it was fun.

After lunch, we cleaned our dishes and prepared ourself to leave. I was so excited to discover the city, I had heard so much about it. First, we accompanied Siyeon to the agency and they asked me to guide them, to check if I knew the way. And, of course, I lost us. But they were both sympathetic and understanding and assured me that it was no big deal.

Then, Siyeon left us to went practice in the agency while Jiu took me to my future school, Jinseon girls' high school. It was Siyeon's school when she went to high school but today it was Yubin's, and now mine. She then showed me the train station, some bus stop near the agency and even bought me some tickets for when I would need it. She was really the sweetest, I was so glad to have her as my roommate.

"So, do you like the city?" She asked siting on a bench. We just took some ice cream and were now sitting next to the Han River.

"Yes, it's really cool, thank you for this afternoon." I thanked her shily.

"I can't believe it." She sighed loudly. "We spent all the afternoon together and you're still acting shy! Are you scared of me maybe?"

"No, of course no! It's just... you're so cool and so pretty. it's kind of impressive to be standing next to you."

"Really?" She laughed out loud. "You're also really pretty, and I'm not feeling shy."

I blushed madly and looked down, trying to hide my red cheeks.

"T-Thank you, unnie."

"Ah, is it because I'm older than you? You don't have to be shy because of that. After all, we are both trainees and working hard for our dreams. So we have to help each other. But we can't if we keep this distance. But don't worry, you don't have to be super confident right now, I'm not pressuring you! I know you come from far from here and you're feeling maybe a bit lost. But just know that, if you need anything, don't feel shy and come to ask me. I will be glad to help you!" She smiled brightly.

She was so pretty, so bright. Once again, I couldn't take my eyes off her, her beauty was mesmerizing. As I was staring at her, I didn't realize she was looking at me, confused.

"Yoohyeon, are you okay? Do I have something on my face?"

"Hum... what? Something on your face? N-No, no, n-nothing." I blinked a few times, getting out of my trance.

"But you on the other hand, yes." She laughed. "You have some ice cream on the corner of your lips. Wait don't move."

She slowly leaned in, putting her thumb on my lips and wiped the ice cream, removing it from my face. She was so close to me, and staring at my lips, my heart was beating so fast, I felt like it was going to pop out of my chest. Like this morning, when she took care of me. She then brought her thumb back to her mouth, sucking it to clean it. It was so hot, she was so hot. Wait, why was I thinking this? Get your act together Kim Yoohyeon!

"T-Thank you, unnie." I said, looking down. I was probably so red right now.

After we finished our ice creams, we headed back to the apartment. We had dinner with all of the other girl trainees and we got ready to go to sleep. I happily told Siyeon about my afternoon with Jiu, fighting to keep my eyes open, before deeply falling asleep. This was an exhausted day, but I couldn't wait to start the training.

**********

I've been here for a week now. The training was really intense but I felt like I already learned a lot, and I really liked that. Siyeon and Jiu were so sweet toward me, they really treated me like a little sister and I felt more comfortable with them. It was now my first day at school, and I was going with Yubin since we were in the same high school. Unfortunately, we weren't in the same class, as I was with the students born in 1996 and Yubin, the ones of our ages. I was born at the very beginning of the year, that was why.

So, in the morning, we got separate. I went to my new class and met my new classmates. But I didn't dare go talk to them, I was still a bit shy with my elders. But it was okay, I had Yubin, who was waiting for me, in front of my class for lunch time.

"Hey!" She said. "How was your first morning?"

"It was pretty cool, the teachers are really great! But it was a bit awkward when I had to introduce myself in front of everyone..."

"Haha, yes, I imagine. Anyway, want to have lunch together? I can show you the cafeteria like this!"

"Yes, I would love to!"

I followed her there and she explained to me how it worked. In fact, it was a bit like in my old school, I just had to remember where to take my plate and food and where to put my tray away when I was done.

We took our meals and went to sit at a free table as she explained me the daily schedule of a student-trainee.

"... and after your last lesson, you wait for me at the entrance. Do you have any questions?"

"No, I don't think so. But I will ask you if I have any, thank you!"

"You're welcome! So, how do you feel about your new life? Not too stressed by this new crazy schedule? "

"Well, I can't say it's easy but I can't complain. Being an idol always was my dream and here I am training to be one! I can't be better! Plus, Siyeon and Jiu are really nice and help me a lot! And you too, of course!"

"Yes, you were really lucky! When I arrived, I was with a girl older than me and she was treating me like a nobody. She thought that by putting others down, she would succeed more easily. At that time, I just arrived so I thought that it was normal, you know. It's really hard to debut so you have to do everything you can. But Jiu found out and reported her to the agency. Conclusion, this girl got fired and I was able to train without being afraid to go home."

"Wow, it must have been hard. The school and the training are already really stressing, I don't know how you did. Luckily Jiu was there."

"Yes, I agree. I was really about to give up everything and go back to my previous life."

"She's really the best. It's been one week since I met her and she has no defects. Well, I'm not saying I was looking for any but she's so perfect! She has everything to succeed, she pretty, kind, funny and so talented!"

I admired her so much, she was here for me since I arrived at Seoul. She helped me a lot, made me visit the city, introduced me to the other trainees, checked on me every day to see if I was okay. And her bright smile was really the thing I was looking for every day.

As I was thinking of her, I caught myself smiling. Yubin was looking at me but I couldn't read what she was thinking. It was starting to be awkward so I tried to find a subject to talk about.

"Hum... so you-" I started.

"Are you into girls?"

What?! What is she talking about? What did she ask that all of sudden? I was speechless. Her question really caught me off guard and I didn't know what to answer. Maybe it was normal to know the sexuality of every person here in Seoul. Or... did Yubin has a crush on me?!

"N-No, why?" I stuttered.

"Okay, that's great."

Right now, I was so lost. First, I thought she asked that because she was interested in me and now, she told me that it was good for me to not be into girls.

"Can I have a context?" I asked.

"Jiu is a playgirl."

"W-What?" Those four words managed to make me feel dizzy in just a few seconds. Jiu... a playgirl? The Jiu I knew, the sweetest and the most caring person I ever met? This Jiu? No, it was impossible. At this thought, my heart tightened, almost preventing me from breathing. I couldn't believe it, I had to learn more about it.

"She breaks hearts."

"W-What do you mean? How do you know?"

"I will tell you but please, don't act distant after that with her. You're not into girls so you don't risk anything and she really likes you, in a friendly way. It would probably hurt her if you avoid her."

"Yes, of course." I reassured her, not really convinced by my own answer. But it was started to scare me. Did she like playing with people's hearts? Was she playing with mine?

At this moment, my first afternoon with her came to my mind. I remembered her cleaning the corner of my lips with her thumb and sucking it. Was it just friendly or was she trying to play me? I knew I just said to Yubin that I wouldn't avoid her but this news scared me.

Wait, no! I was into boys, she couldn't do anything to me. I didn't know what was her intention toward me but I promised myself to not fall into her trap. I wouldn't fall for her, never.

"Since I know her, she broke three hearts, two boys and one girl. She makes them fall deeply for them and once they confess, she rejects them. One boy and the girl decided to left the agency, they couldn't bear to see her every day, it was too hard. The second boy stayed but he couldn't keep up with the intense pace of the trainings and a broken heart so the agency chose to put him out temporary, to let him the time to focus on himself and come back stronger. But he never wished to come back."

Jiu did that? That was impossible, she was too good to break three people like that. My heart tightened even more and I felt betrayed, even though I knew her only for a week. She was so perfect, so kind. She couldn't have done that.

"I know how you feel." Yubin said. "You looked at her as a model, she was perfect throughout your eyes. You feel betrayed, that's understandable. But at least, now you know who she is, and you can protect yourself, even if you tell me you weren't interested."

"Well..." I didn't know what to say, I was left speechless. "T-Thank you for the information."

"No problem. Just, Yoohyeon, don't act cold with her, now that you know that, please. Don't put a wall between you. And if she tries to flirt or anything, just see this as a game and nothing more."

"Y-Yes, okay, sure." I answered. How could I do that? Act as if I wasn't touch by her action? It was probably too late. But, even if she made me feel something, I wouldn't fall for her. I wouldn't let her destroy my dream.

We quickly finished our meals and Yubin took me to my class before heading to hers.

**********

Three months later, I had my third monthly evaluation since I arrived. And it was a total mess. I missed my high notes and I fell during the dance. I was exhausted physically and mentally. Plus, the school wasn't helping at all. I had a hard time keeping my grades up and had to stay up late to finish my homework.

Jiu tried to help me sometimes but I was scared that she was playing with my heart. Every time I thought she was flirting I became cold and rejected her. Her breaking my heart would be the end of me, I could understand why the others had to leave after she rejected them.

But a bit after my arrival, a new trainee arrived, Sua. She was the same age as Jiu so they stayed a lot together. At the same time, I was relieved because she was spending less time with me, but for the same reason, I was sad and felt empty. My head was so messy, I didn't know what to think, how to act or anything. I was so lost. Plus, I missed a lot my family. This new life was too hard for me, I couldn't keep up.

This night, after I finished my homework late as usual, I silently went to bed. Jiu and Siyeon were already asleep, of course. This moment just before sleeping was the only moment I could focus on myself and release my stress. I put myself under the blanket, buried my face in my pillow and let myself cry all the tears I hold during the day. My failed evaluation, my bad marks at school, my family I missed so much, all of that was the cause of my pain. So letting my tears escape allowed me to sleep with a less heavy heart, at least.

My eyes were really dry because of the crying and it started to be difficult to keep my eyes open. I closed them and tried to fall asleep, still sobbing silently. But I couldn't. I was exhausted but it was impossible to fall asleep. I changed positions several times, trying to find a more comfortable one, or at least one that would help me fall asleep. A few last tears escaped my eyes, this life was too hard for me.

As I was suffering in silence, my eyes still closed, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Yoohyeon, come with me." I opened my eyes and saw her, Jiu. The person I least wanted to see but needed the most at the moment. What was she doing?

She took my hand in hers and pulled me out of my bed and out of the room. She closed the door and sat me on the couch in the living room.

"Wait a minute." She whispered as she left me to go in the kitchen. A few seconds later, she came back with a glass of water and sat down next to me. "Here, drink this."

I took the glass in my hand and took it to my lips. But clumsy as I was, I spilled some water on my pajamas. No, I wasn't clumsy, just tired. My hands were shaking and I had troubles holding the glass.

"Wait, let me help you." She said as she took the glass and made me drink slowly but carefully. Normally, I would have rejected her but I was too weak to do anything so I just let her do what she wanted. "Do you feel a little better?" she asked as she put the half-empty glass on the small table in front of us.

I lightly nodded my head, even if it wasn't true, I didn't want her to worried. But she wasn't saying anything, it started to scare me. What was she thinking? I looked at her from the corner of my eyes and saw her looking straight at me. I quickly looked down, pretending I didn't see her staring at me.

"It's not true, but it's okay. I know you won't tell me anything, anyway." She sighed sadly.

How did she know? So she noticed how I tried to avoid her? Well, it was kind of obvious. But now that she was saying it out loud, with this sad expression writing all over her face, I felt really guilty. Was it bad of me to do that? To protect myself again her games? Yubin warned me, she told me to not avoid Jiu or it would hurt her. But what was I supposed to do? Let her destroy my heart as if it was nothing?

"Why are you like this with me? What did I do to you?" She asked with a sad tone. It felt like a stab in the heart. Was I the villain in this story?

"Like what?" I pretended not to understand.

"You're acting cold with me. Every time I try to help you or to get close to you you're putting a wall between us. Why did I do to deserve this treatment?" She said, trying to keep her voice steady but failing. I could hear it trembling a little, she was on the verge of tears. I hurt her deeply and I was now paying the consequences. I was consumed with guilt and every time she asked me why, I felt like I was stabbed violently in my heart. But at the same time, I couldn't forgot what Yubin told me.

"Hum... I..." I didn't want to tell her, it would hurt her even more and who knows what our relationship would be like after this talk? Well, at least, it would show her what happened when you break hearts. But I didn't want to be the one to break hers.

"Please, tell me. And I won't bother you again, I promise."

"Y-You're not bothering me."

"Then what is it? Why do reject me like this?"

I thought for a few seconds. Should I tell her, even if I would hurt her by doing so? I sighed and decided to ask her.

"Is it true? Did you break their hearts? Did you play with their feelings?" I asked, looking straight into her eyes. I had to be impassive, to show her that she couldn't play with me like she like with others. She couldn't manipulate me with some pretty smiles and kind attentions.

"I..." She didn't know what to say. She looked down and sighed deeply. "I... I didn't do it on purpose."

"What do you mean?"

"I never tried to make them love me. And when they confessed, I couldn't reciprocate their feelings, I didn't feel the same."

What? So what Yubin told me was false? Jiu wasn't a playgirl? Suddenly, I hated myself. She was there for me since I arrived, she did everything she could for me and I just rejected her because of some stupid rumors. I felt even more guilty and sorry for her. Even though I pushed her away, she always tried to help and support me. I didn't deserve to be close to her after what I did to her.

"I-I'm sorry. I thought-"

"Don't worry, it's okay. At least, now you know the truth and you won't reject me anymore." She smiled, holding my hands on my lap.

"Yes, indeed. But it's useless..."

After those words, a heavy silence fell on the room. I wanted to continue, to explain to her that I wanted to leave, that this life wasn't for me after all, but I couldn't. I didn't want to abandon her but at the time, I didn't want to say it out loud, to say that I was giving up on my dream.

"Useless? You think our friendship is... useless?" She asked, with a hoarse voice.

"N-No, it's not that!" She misunderstood the situation and was hurt with what she understood. I should have told her right away, instead of letting her imagining things.

"What is it then?"

I couldn't avoid it anymore, I had to tell her. I was only delaying the inevitable. It was a decision I already took but I was still trying to convince myself to stay and fight. But it was a fight I couldn't win and I had to admit it.

"I... I'm leaving..."

I felt her hands tightened on mine and I could understand why. We just fixed things between the two of us, we could have started a new friendship and become closer than ever. But this life was too hard for me, I couldn't keep up, I had to leave.

"W-Why? Is this for the same reasons you're crying every night?"

She knew? I thought she was asleep when I broke down at night, otherwise I would have never let myself do that. But now, I didn't have any reason to lie to her. She was trying to help me, I had to trust her.

"Yes... it's for that."

She let go of my hands and suddenly I felt cold. I already missed this reassuring contact, her soft hands covering mine. But I quickly found back this comfort when she put her arms around me pulled my head on her chest. She gently caressed my back and reassured me.

"You can tell me everything, I won't judge you."

I closed my eyes and melted into the embrace. Even though I pushed her away for weeks, I really needed this. Jiu was my comfort zone, I knew she was always here to help me or reassured me if I needed her. That was why it was so hard to rejected her when she got a bit too close. But now, I didn't have any reason to push her away anymore. I could just let go and fully trust her.

"I... this is too much for me, unnie. The school, the training, I can't do anything correctly. Plus, I miss my family so much, I feel so lonely. I have to leave, all of that is destroying me." I admitted, letting some tears escape my eyes.

"But you're not alone, I'm here. Your evaluation today didn't go well, but it's normal, you're exhausted. Don't worry about that, I will talk with the CEO and I will train you myself. I will make you become the number 1 in all category."

"No, unnie. You don't have to-"

"Shh, I didn't finish. And for the school, I won't sleep until we finished to do your homework and learn your lessons together. There is no way I let you continue alone in this mess. You're in a new high school and in a class of older students. Of course, it's hard!"

"Unnie, really, you don't-"

"Let me finish. Concerning your family, I know you will never love me as much as you love them but let me try to give you the same amount of love."

At those words, my heart started to fastened, more and more. What was happening? What was she doing to me? As I felt my cheeks heat up, I buried my face in the crook of her neck, not wanting her to see me blush and hugged her waist tightly.

"Thank you unnie, but I don't want to bother you."

"And I don't want to see you leave. I would do anything to make you stay by my side." She said as she kissed the top of my head. I felt so good in her arms, she was calming me and made all of my worries disappear.

"So, I think telling you 'no' is not an option?" I smiled.

"Of course it's not!" She chuckled.

"Then, I will gladly accept your help. Thank you, unnie."

"You're welcome, little one." She said, still holding me in her arms. After a minute or so, we broke the hug and stared at each other. She caressed my cheek and smiled warmly at me. "Do you feel better?"

"Yes, I do, thanks to you, unnie." I smiled back.

"Then let's go have some rest, what do you think about it?"

"Good idea."

She stood up and took my hand in hers, guiding me to our room and to my bed. She helped me to get under the blanket and went to her own bed when I stopped her by holding her wrist.

"Can you sleep with me please?" I asked, out of nowhere. I didn't want to feel lonely again and I also wanting to show her that I wouldn't avoid her anymore. She was really important to me and I really needed her.

"Of course I can." She smiled, joining me under the cover and hugging me close. I put my arms around her waist and hold her tightly, enjoying the contact. I closed my eyes and melted into the embrace, before quickly drifting to sleep.

**********

One month later, I had my fourth monthly evaluation and I never done that good. For the vocal evaluation, I chose a really hard song and did it perfectly, I couldn't be happier.

The next day, after school, I ran back to the agency, even leaving Yubin behind, to see the results. As I arrived, I threw my backpack on the floor and hurried on the resting room where the lists were. Rap, I was seventh among ten trainee girls, but it was normal, I wasn't the best at it. Dancing, fourth, just after Sua, Jiu and Yubin. Sua was always first in dancing, she was really a machine but I never dared to speak to her. She was so impressive, especially when she danced. Moreover, she was trainee even before being here so she was very experienced. Even if she was close with Jiu, I never spoke to her. She was too cool to be friend with me, anyway.

Now, it was the moment for the last list, vocal. My heart was beating so fast, I thought it was going to pop out of my chest. I chose to look at the list from the end, to see at list who I beat. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, not any Kim Yoohyeon, so I was in the top 5. 5, 4, still not here. It meant I was in the top 3! 3: Kim Minji, 2: Lee Siyeon, 1: Kim Yoohyeon. No way! I was first! I did the best this month!

I couldn't believe it, I made it! And all of that was thanks to Jiu, she trained me every day, helped me every time I needed her, she made my life so much easier! I ran downstairs to the training room to thank her, that's where I always met her after school.

"Unnie, I'm first in the vocal category!" I yelled as I barged in the room.

But I froze when I saw who was in the room. Jiu was nowhere to be find but Sua was occupying the room and I just stopped her in the middle of her dance. Now, she was just starting at me, without saying anything and it was really starting to scare me. Was she angry?

Suddenly, a big smile appeared on her face and she came to me, taking me in her arms and patting my butt.

"Congrats kid, good job!" She congratulated me.

I stayed frozen, not knowing what to do. We didn't know each other and here she was hugging me and patting my butt.

"Hum... t-thanks, I guess." I thanked her as she pulled away. "By any chance, did you see Jiu? I usually meet her at this hour."

"Oh, so the good news was for her? Not for me? I'm disappointed." She pretended to be hurt.

"I-I'm sorry, it's just... well, we don't really know each other, that's why."

"I'm kidding, of course! You're Kim Yoohyeon, right? Minji can't stop talking about you!"

"R-Really?"

"Yes! Yoohyeon here, Yoohyeon there, I think I know you better than you do yourself!" She laughed. "Anyway, Minji has a meeting with the CEO right now, so I'm using the training room like it's available. Want to join me?"

"No, it's okay. Thank you, unnie." I said as I turned around to leave the room. Jiu wasn't there, it was useless. I absolutely wanted to see her now, hug her and spend time with her. She could have told me she was meeting the CEO, I would have stayed a little longer at school and waited for Yubin. But it was okay anyway, she had a life, she didn't have to tell me everything she was doing.

"You like her?" Sua took me out of my thoughts. What? Why was she saying something like that? Suddenly, my heart started to beat faster and I felt hotter. I turned to face her, trying to keep and steady voice as I asked her.

"What are you talking about?"

"Minji, you like her, right?"

"Y-Yes, of course. She's like an older sister to me."

"Bullshit. We may not be close but I'm not blind."

"I-I don't know what you're thinking right now but I like boys so-"

"So what? You can like boys and girls."

"I..." I didn't know what to answer. I wanted to tell her that she was imagining things, that I didn't feel anything for Jiu and that I definitely was interested only in boys, but something told me that I was lying to myself. I didn't know what it was but she made me feel something. Just right now, I felt really empty without her. But it was definitely not love, it couldn't be that.

"Look, I know how you feel. You're probably really lost, trying to convince yourself that you don't feel anything and that it's impossible for you to like girls. I lived the same thing so I know all of that."

What? Sua liked girls? But how could she tell I liked Jiu when even I didn't know it?

"Come with me, little one." She said as she grabbed my hand and took me to one of the chairs of the room. "When I was in your position, I was alone. No one to explain to me what I felt, no one to tell me than liking someone of the same gender was okay. But you're not alone, I can help you. But maybe I'm wrong and you're really not into her. In this case, I would just let you be. So tell me, you really don't feel anything for her?"

What could I answer to that? I wanted so badly to tell her how wrong she was, but she wasn't and that was the problem. I really felt something for Jiu. I was replaying in my head some of the highlights of my time with Jiu. When I bumped my forehead, when I had ice cream on my lips, when she took me in her arms to reassure me, when she trained me or helped me to do my homework or just when she slept with me, holding me tightly and giving me all the love she could. in front of all this, I could not remain indifferent. Yes, she made me feel something, but I didn't know what it was.

"I... I don't know what I feel for her." I said honestly.

"But you do feel something for her."

I lightly nodded, not really accepting the fact that she did something to me.

"Tell me about it, what do you feel?"

"When she's around, I can't help but smile. But when she's not here, I feel... empty."

"Like right now."

"Yes... like right now. Also, she makes me feel safe, when I'm in her arms, I feel protected, as if nothing could happen to me. I feel like I can tell her everything, without being judged and I know I can always count on her."

"And inside this little heart of yours, what do you feel?" She asked, pointing at my heart.

"My heart goes crazy just by thinking of her and when she's having fun with someone else in front of me, I... it hurts... so much." I explained, tightening my hand on my chest.

I looked at Sua, to see what she was thinking and she had a big smile on her face. What was that for, this time?

"This thing that hurt that much is called 'jealousy' and it's something you feel a lot when you like someone." She explained.

"But I hate this, I don't want to feel that again..." I pouted. That's when I realized. I indirectly admitted that I... liked her. And seeing Sua's expression, she noticed it too.

"Say it out loud."

"What do you mean?" I pretended not to understand.

"You know what I mean. If you don't, you will still doubt it and it will hurt you."

"Okay..." I took a deep breath and admitted. "I like her."

"Of course, you do!" She almost yelled.

"Shh, don't yell it like this, she could hear you. Please, don't tell her." I pleaded, joining my hands together and begged her.

"No, don't worry, I won't... puppy." She said patting the top of my head.

"P-Puppy? Why?"

"You have very expressive eyes, just like a puppy. And you're so cute!" She explained, pinching one of my cheeks.

"Ouch!" I complained. "So... what should I do? I mean, to make her love me back?"

"Aaaw, you're so cute! Hum, let me think. Try to spend a lot of time with her, just the two of you, show her all your love for her through your puppy eyes and most importantly, stay yourself! Don't change your personality to make her love you, because she would love the character you created and not you. And if she doesn't love you as you are, well, then that's her problem. She would miss the cutest and sweetest girl ever!"

"Okay, thank you for your advice, unnie." I thanked her, daring to hug her. "But... what if she loves me back? I don't think I'm ready to be in a relationship. I mean... I have never been in any and even less with a... girl."

"It's not because you like each other that you have to be in a relationship, Yoohyeon. You can take your time, love isn't a race. But don't worry, if Minji loves you back, she will take good care of you and she won't push you, I'm sure about that." She smiled.

"But... What if she just sees me as a... friend? She will reject me and I will be heartbroken. I will have to leave the agency and I will never see her again?" I started to panic, imagining terrible scenarios in my head.

"Ya, puppy! First, breathe!" She gently scolded me. "Then, as I told you, if she doesn't like you back, it will be her lose like, look at you! You're just perfect! So if something like this happens, don't hate yourself, okay? Minji won't let you leave her life like this I promise. So you would still be close. But honestly, I think there is a possibility that she likes you back. I mean, she talks about you all day long!"

"Thank you, unnie, for everything. I'm sure you will find someone who will see how perfect you are too." I said, honestly. We didn't know each other, however, she was able to read in me and help me to fix my ideas. She was really amazing. "And next time, I will come to see you when I will get first again." I smiled at her.

"Aw, you're really too cute! Now, go run to your pink princess!" She said, pushing me to the exit and patting my butt, once again.

"You like my butt, don't you?" I chuckled.

"I love it!"

I laughed at her behavior as I went out of the room and headed to the resting room, waiting for Jiu. So I really liked her, huh? Thinking that 4 months ago, I promised myself to not fall for her. Well, mission failed. But was it bad in the end? I didn't know. I didn't know anything, how to feel about it, what to do, how to behave with her. But at least, I knew what I felt for her and I knew Sua would be behind me to support me in this journey.

I sat on the couch and took my head in my hands, trying to stop thinking of all the 'what ifs' that where running in my head. What if she didn't like me back? What if she wasn't into girls? What if the company was against this possible relationship?

As I was lost in my thoughts, Jiu ran in the room and made me stand up, hugging me tightly.

"Congratulations Yoohyeon! I'm so proud of you, you made it!" She said with a big smile on her face, kissing my cheek a few times. I was sure I was blushing madly and hugged her back, preventing her from pulling away from the hug. My heart was beating so fast and I suddenly felt so hot. So she was really doing something to me?

"Thank you, unnie. I would have never been able to do that without you. You're the best thing that happened to me in a long time." I hugged her tightly when I realized what I just said. "I-I mean... like... you helped me a lot and all, y-you know."

"Yes, of course." She chuckled, pulling away and caressing my hair, still a bright smile in her face. "I was thinking, do you want to go buy an ice cream in the city to celebrate this amazing result? It's my treat!"

"Yes, sure. Thank you, unnie." I thanked her, daring to kiss her cheek too.

Her smile widened even more as she took my hand and pulled me outside, running of excitement. She was really the best thing that happened to me in a long time.

**********

The same evening, I came back home with Jiu and we waited for all the trainees to arrive, she wanted to announce us something. I tried all this afternoon to know what it was but she didn't want to say anything, only that it was a good thing she talked about with the CEO.

After dinner, the last trainees came back from the agency and we all sat in the living room. Even Siyeon didn't know what it was about and she was also really excited to know. The older ones sat on the sofa while I sat on the carpet with the younger ones. Jiu was standing in front of us, waiting for us to be ready to receive the 'good news'.

Once we were all settle, we looked at her in silence, ready to hear what she wanted to say. But she wasn't saying anything, she was just staring at us, one by one, with a big smile.

"So, what is it, bunny?" Siyeon asked. She looked relaxed on the outside but I knew she wasn't. During the dinner, Jiu couldn't stop saying how amazing it was so we were all so excited to know.

"So, this afternoon, I had a meeting with the CEO." She started, still smiling. "And he told me something amazing!"

"Tell us!" Almost yelled a trainee.

"He will debut a new girl group!" She announced jumping on herself.

All the trainees stood up and hugged each other, so happy about this. But I just stayed on the floor, frozen. After all those months of training, I almost forgot my final goal, becoming idol. I was just trying to have good results during evaluations and good marks at school. I couldn't believe it, I was about to achieve my dream. After all, I didn't fight for nothing, my hard work will be rewarded.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by two arms hugging me. It was Yubin, I never saw her smile like this.

"We will debut Yoohyeon, we will debut." She said, hugging me so tightly.

I hugged her back, still not realizing it but felt like something was missing. No, not something, someone. I looked toward Jiu and she was still standing in front of us, with a little smile. She didn't finish, there was something else. And seeing her expression, it wasn't good.

"Girls, that's not all." She said, making us focus on her again. "The group's name will be Minx and it will be a group of... 5 members."

The room went silent. 5 members? So it meant that only the half of us will debut. I looked around me and realized how talented were all those girls. I didn't stand a chance, I was the last who started this training, I was the one with the least experience. But I had to fight, it was probably my only chance in a and I couldn't let it slip through my fingers.

"We will have one month to train." Jiu explained. "The next monthly evaluation will determine who will be in the group. But they will also look at the old evaluations to see the progress we have made individually. You can't do the final audition by two but you can choose more than one category. Do you have any questions?"

"Yes, I have one." Yubin asked, raising her hand. "For the one who go to school, like Yoohyeon and I, it's unfair, we will have less time to train. Do we... skip school maybe?"

"No, of course not! But don't worry Yubin, they will take that in consideration." Jiu answered with a reassuring smile. "Other questions?"

We all shook our head. What we had to do was clear, give the best of ourselves and work harder than ever.

"Okay, well I suggest to go to sleep, girls. I think we all have a lot to do tomorrow... and the next month." Jiu clapped in her hands, making us stand up and go to our room.

I followed Siyeon in our room and Jiu arrived just behind us, closing the door. Siyeon went in her bed and I did the same but Jiu stayed standing in the middle of the room. What was she doing?

"Girls, I have to tell you something I didn't tell the others." She started, looking down. "The CEO... he wants me to be the leader of the future girl group..."

"Unnie, that's amazing!" Congratulated Siyeon.

She raised her head and looked straight into our eyes, going from Siyeon's to mine. She looked so serious, she was thinking about something and I was scared of what it could be.

"I'm not going to debut without you two." She announced, looking dead serious. "I will train you myself and make you the best in all categories, and I'm not taking a 'no' as an answer. If you're not in the final line, I quite."

What?! There was no way she was quitting because we weren't taken in the group. She worked hard for more than a year to become an idol and she was willing to abandon everything because we weren't with her?

"No, unnie, of course you're not quitting!" Siyeon scolded her. "You deserve to be in this group and the future members will need a leader like you. For real, do you see one of us being a leader?"

"But being in a group without you two would be... I don't know... I would feel so empty. I love the others but you two... you're my everything. I couldn't do anything without you." She said, looking down again.

Was I this important to her? Or was it just Siyeon and she was saying 'us two' to not hurt me? But she could have taken her out or something. Did I really mean that much to her? Thinking that, my heart fastened. I didn't know if she loved me the same way I loved her but knowing that I was this important to her made me feel warm inside. She promised me that she would try to give me the same amount of love as my family did and she was succeeding. I owed her so much since I was here.

But I noticed a silent in the room and looked at Siyeon, trying to know what was happening and what we should do. But she was staring straight into my eyes and made a move with her head, telling me to go to Jiu.

I stood up, hesitantly walking to Jiu, not knowing what I was supposed to say. But when I approached her, I saw her down she looked. The thought of Siyeon and I not being in the group really affected her and seeing her like this made my heart tightened. I hugged her tightly and caressed gently her back with my hands.

"It's okay, unnie, I understand. Me neither, I couldn't debut without you. But don't worry, I will train harder than ever, and I'm sure Siyeon will do the same. But I will gladly use your help, once again." I reassured her, pulling back from the hug. But she put her arms around my waist and hugged me tightly, closing her eyes. I continued to caress her back, smiling. So I was really this important to her, huh?

I kissed her cheek and guided her to Siyeon, who stood up to her hug. She reassured her too and took her to her bed, helping her to get under the blanket. I smiled and went to my own bed when someone called me.

"Yoohyeon?" I turned around and saw Jiu smiling, her arms opened toward me.

No need to say more. I ran and jumped in her bed, hugging her tightly. This was my favorite place, in her arms. No matter where we were, in the street, in the training room or here, it was my comfort zone.

"I love you, unnie." I said. No matter if she understood it in a friendly or romantic way, I wanted her to know that.

"I love you too, Yoohyeon." She said, hugging me even closer.

**********

The next month, we all worked really hard. As she said, Jiu trained us, she was helping Siyeon during the day and took care of me when I came back from school. At first, I was afraid that there would be competitiveness among the trainees but it was okay, we were all helping each other, or at least the person we wanted to debut with. I trained a lot with Yubin at school, during lunch time or on the way home. She was an amazing rapper, that was impressive. I was sure she was going to debut as a main rapper in the group, she deserved it. Siyeon would be perfect as a main vocalist and Sua as a main dancer. Jiu was the perfect leader so it meant there was one last place. And I was going to fight for it.

It was now the last day of training as the evaluation was the day after. I worked hard on my singing and dancing skills and even my rapping skills, in case they asked me to rap. And I was really satisfied with what I achieved. I just hoped it was enough to be taken in the group.

"Yoohyeon, let's go back home, it's already 1am." Said Jiu. "You've trained more than enough and you will be tired if you don't sleep."

We were just the two of us in the training room of the agency. All the other girls had returned home but I wanted to stay a bit more. I just finished my dance once more, after more than 4 hours of dancing without a break and we were now sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, facing each other.

"I will be able to sleep after the evaluation. Now, I need to train my vocal performance. But you can go back to the dorm, don't worry." I said, standing up. But Jiu put her hand on my leg to prevent me from doing so.

"You really think I will let you here and alone at night? Of course not. And Yoohyeon, your vocal performance is already amazing and you do it perfectly. There is no need to train more I promise." She insisted, caressing my thigh with her thumb.

"But perfect is not enough. Did you see the others? They are so good, the agency will take them, it's sure. But I don't want you to quite because I'm not in the group." I said looking down.

"Yes, I saw the others and, you're right, they are really talented. But you are even more, I promise. Look, last month, you beat Siyeon in the vocal category! And I never saw anyone able to that." She said, her hand leaving my leg to go my cheek. She gently caressed it and made me raise my hand to look at her. "And are you really working so hard for me?" She asked with a smile.

"Y-Yes..." I answered, blushing a little. I stared at her in the eyes, seeing all the kindness and the love she had to me. I loved her so much, I didn't know what I did to deserve her in my life. "Unnie... do you think I'm enough?"

She cupped my face with her two hand and came closer to me. Her face was only a few centimeters away from mine, I could even feel her breath on my lips. In just a second, my heart fastened as if I ran for hours. She was really making me go crazy!

"Kim Yoohyeon, listen to me very carefully. You're the sweetest person I ever met. You have progressed extremely fast in dance and your singing talents are undeniable. Your visual is no joke and you're born to be an idol. So stop doubting yourself!" She scolded me gently.

But I could concentrate only her, she was surreal. From there, I could perfectly see all the details of her perfect face. Her eyes were so beautiful, I couldn't stop looking at them. The way you could read on them, you could see love, respect, trust. Since the first time I met her, her eyes were hypnotizing me. Her features were so incredibly well drawn, she was so perfect. And her lips. Those lips I tried so hard to avoid but it was becoming impossible. This time, I allowed myself to have a quick look but I couldn't look anywhere else. It was as if they were pulling me towards them. They looked so soft, so delicate.

On a whim, I closed my eyes and leaned in, touching her lips with mine. At the contact, I felt like an electrical discharge and then, nothing. I opened my eyes to understand what happened and I saw her face far from mine. She moved back. As I understand what happened, my heart tightened. How stupid was I? Why did I do that? Of course she didn't like me. A girl as incredible as her couldn't like a nobody like me. At that moment, I just wanted to bury myself in a hole and cry my eyes out. I was so ashamed of what I just did. With that, I would be heartbroken and would fail my evaluation. I just destroyed my whole life in just a few seconds.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered, standing up. "I think I will go home now." I hurried to the exit, holding back my tears as much as possible. I couldn't let her see my pain, I remembered how guilty she looked like when we talked about those three trainees whose hearts she broke. I didn't want her to feel this way about me, it wasn't her fault. Plus, she would see how hurt I was and she would realize that I would fail the evaluation. We worked so hard together for nothing.

I was about to leave the room when she grabbed my wrist and made me turn to look at her. It was enough to make me break down, now the tears were flowing.

"Yoohyeon, wait, don't leave."

"Leave me!" I yelled, tearing my wrist from her grip. I was so angry at her, even if it wasn't her fault. She couldn't choose who she fell for but I needed to be angry at someone for what was happening.

I ran out of the room but she caught up with me and pushed me against the wall, putting herself in front of me, not letting me go.

"Yoohyeon, please, calm down!"

"No, let me go, I said." I cried, pushing her as much as I could but she wasn't moving. It was useless, I was exhausted, I didn't have the strength to push her away. I slid down the wall until I ended up sitting on the floor, I was a real mess at the moment.

Jiu crouched down to be at my level and put a strand of hair behind my ear. She then cupped my face and she wiped the tears from my cheeks with her thumbs and then lightly smiled to me. Right now, her smile was only hurting me. I just wanting to remove her hands from my face and run far from her but I was too weak to do anything.

"Do you feel a little better?"

Always this stupid question. What if I said yes? Would she let me alone? I didn't want to answer and just stared at her, emotionless.

"I'm sorry Yoohyeon, I didn't want to hurt you. I was just surprised, that's why I moved away." She explained. "Yoohyeon... what do you feel for me?"

I didn't give her any answer. Right now, I just wanted to leave and stay far from her. Just the sight of her felt like a stab in the heart.

"At least, do you want to know what I feel?"

I gave her to same answer as before. I didn't want to know anything, I just wanted to be alone.

She took a deep breath and leaned in, putting her lips on mine. I felt this same electrical discharge as before but it felt so good. I closed my eyes, enjoying the kiss when I suddenly remembered my talk with Yubin. I violently pushed Jiu away from me and made her fall on her butt.

"Stop playing with me, playgirl! Do you think I'm a toy? Do you think-" I yelled to her but she cut me.

"Playgirl? Do you really think I'm a fucking playgirl, Yoohyeon? You really think so little of me?" She yelled too.

"W-What? I..." Hearing her cursing and saying that made me feel so guilty and my heart tightened even more.

"Do you really think I would have fun hurting you?" She said, on the verge of crying too.

"I... What are you doing then? You're moving away and then you're kissing me."

"I already told you, I was surprised!"

"N-No, I don't believe you." She was now crying too. And this was the thing that broke my heart for real.

"I love you, Kim Yoohyeon. I fucking love you! Do you hear me?"

What? She loved me? Kim Minji, the greatest and most fantastic person I ever met, loved me? I was speechless. How was it possible? My heart was going crazy and I was so hot. I thought I was going to faint.

"You make me feel like no one has before. You're sweet, kind, caring, funny, touching, pretty and so much more. I like how hard you work to achieve your dream. I like how you wanted to succeed for me. I like when you blush and become shy when I kiss your cheek. I like the warm hugs you're giving me when we sleep together. I like everything about you, Yoohyeon."

Her words made my heart fastened even more. She was feeling the same way as me. I loved her more than anything, she was so perfect. I could have never made it this far without her. She gave me so much every day. Her smile was the only I was looking for and every evening, I was excited to go back home to hug her tightly. She was the person who made my heart beat.

I wiped away a few tears and crawled to her, hugging her as tight as I could. I felt so guilty for what I did. I pushed her away when she didn't deserve it.

"I'm sorry, unnie. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Yoohyeon, you didn't know." She hugged me back, kissing the top of my head. "After this revelation, there is no way I debut without you." She chuckled.

'Debut', it felt so far. Right now, I just wanting to think of what was happening. Jiu, the person I liked the most, loved me back. Even, if I was crying my eyes out, I was the happiest on Earth. I pulled back from the hug and slowly put my lips on hers. But this time, she didn't move away, she kissed me back. She put her hand on my cheek and deepened the kiss. My lips were trembling, I didn't know what to do, how to kiss. It was my first time. We kissed a few seconds more before she broke the kiss, caressing my cheek and smiling warmly at me.

"We will take our time for that, Yoohyeon. You don't need to stress because you're not experienced." She knew me so well. I didn't need to say anything, she could understand me perfectly. And that was one of the many things I loved about her. "Now, let's go back to the dorm, you have to rest. Tomorrow is the big day."

"Yes, you're right, let's go." I agreed, quickly pecking her lips and standing up.

She stood up and pecked my lips a few times, then took my hand is hers and led me out of the agency.

**********

One week later, it was finally the day of the announcement of the final line. We were all waiting in the resting room of the agency, so excited about the result. My evaluation went really well, I did as good as when I trained and it was thanks to Jiu. The song I performed was a love song so it wasn't hard to 'feel' the song. My head was only filled with good thoughts and it helped me to don't perfectly my dance performance.

Suddenly, the CEO entered the room with a fill in his hand. We all stood up and bowed respectfully.

"Hello, girls. You can sit." He said standing in front of us and opening the fill.

Jiu was sitting next to me and was holding my hands on my laps to reassure me. I was really stressed, this moment would determine the future of Jiu and I. Of course, stubborn as she was, she was really going to quite if Siyeon or I wasn't in the final line.

"First, I would like to congratulate your future leader, Kim Minji!" He announced. All the girls applauded her and congratulated her for this new position but she was only looking at me, smiling and caressing the back on my hands with her thumbs.

"Then, I would like to congratulate all of you, you all did really well for this evaluation and the previous. It was an honor to have you in my agency." He smiled warmly.

We all thanked him and let him continue. We all were so stressed, we could stay still. Even I moved my leg frenetically. But Jiu put her hand on it to calm me a little, and it worked.

"First, I will announce the main dancer of this group. Congratulation, Sua, you made it!" He clapped his hands. We all did the same and saw her started to cry. I didn't she was this emotional, it was cute. Luckily, Siyeon was next to her and took her in her arms, congratulated her. Lately, they got really close and I was happy for them.

"Then, the main rapper of this group will be Dami!"

I knew it! She was too talented to not be taken. I congratulated and quickly took her in my arms before focusing my attention back to the CEO.

"Now, the main vocalist." I'm sure it was going to be Siyeon. "Siyeon!" I knew it too.

Jiu stood up to hug Siyeon tightly and I did the same. The two girls that welcomed me and helped me succeeded, I was so happy for them! They deserved it, they were both so talented. We then went back to our place, waiting for the announcement of the last member.

"Finally, the last member. It was a really hard decision." My heart my beating so fast and I starting to doubt. I promised myself to not doubt my abilities but right now, I couldn't help it. "The last member will be a lead vocalist." Jiu's hands tightened on mine. She didn't want to admit it but she was scared too, even if she told she was sure about the result. "Kim Yoohyeon!"

Jiu jumped on me and hugged me tighter than ever. I made it, I was going to become an idol. And with the person I loved. I was frozen, still not realizing what was happening. Jiu pulled back from the hug and cupped my cheek.

"You made it, Yoohyeon! We will debut together!" She said with a big smile as she kissed my forehead.

I was going to achieve my dream of becoming an idol and I would follow this path with the person who made me feel the happiest! I still couldn't believe it!

But good things are never meant to last and I was about to learn it soon in the worst way possible.

Chapter Text

Yoohyeon's POV:

September 2015:

It had been a year since we debuted with our first single "Why did you come to my house?" and I couldn't be happier. I was living my dream! Performing on stage with fans cheering for us made me felt like nothing else had ever before. No, in fact, something already made me feel that way, or someone.

Minji was the light of my life, the one who made my heart beat, she was the source of my happiness. Her smile was brightening my days and her hugs were warming up my nights. It had been almost one year and half since we officialized our relationship and I was probably the luckiest girlfriend ever to be with her. She even told me to call her by her real name when we were the two of us. Her name was so beautiful, I could never get tired of saying it. She even started to call me 'Hyeon' and it was making my heart go crazy! However, we decided to keep this relationship secret from the members and the agency, we were scared of the consequences if they discovered it. But it was hard to keep this secret and have some romantic moments, especially since we didn't share the same room anymore. When we moved in a new apartment, we chose randomly our roommates and I got Sua. I had less time with Minji and had less occasion to sleep with her but I was able to get close to Sua and I didn't regret it.

Everything was perfect until our first comeback with our song "Love shake". This comeback wasn't as popular as the agency wanted it to be and our group wasn't original enough to stand out from the other groups. We had to work a lot harder than expected and our CEO had trouble finding events for us, we weren't famous enough to interest shows. And as time passed, the tension rose in the group and we were all on edge.

But, as I wasn't a 'main' or the leader, I had less pressure on my shoulders and tried to help my members as much as I could. I cuddled often Sua in bed to give her some comfort, I took Siyeon to the cinema sometimes to ease her mind and help Yubin to do her homework to relieve her of an additional burden. And to help Minji, I tried to take her out, I thought she would like spending some time with me. I was her girlfriend after all. But it was getting harder and harder, she never stopped to push me away. Even having 5 minutes just the both of us at the agency seemed impossible. But when I managed to take her out for an hour or so, she looked so bored, as if I was just disturbing her. I felt like I was no longer important to her, like I was in the background of her life. And it hurt more than anything. Every time we kissed or hugged, I couldn't find the love she had for me before, it felt empty, I felt empty. Everything was falling apart, the group was failing, the members were dying under the pressure and my girlfriend didn't seem like my girlfriend anymore. And here I was, in the middle of all of that, not knowing what to do.

"Minji?" I interrupted her in her training.

But she didn't even bother to look at me and continued to dance. I sighed and went to the music post to stop the song playing.

"Yoohyeon, what are you doing?" She scolded me, now looking at me with frowning eyebrows.

A stab in the heart. That was what I felt right now. She didn't care about me and just wanted to continue her training. I missed so much the time she was running to me to hug me every time I came during her trainings. I even missed her calling me 'Hyeon'. I was nothing to her anymore. But still, she was working hard for the group and I couldn't break up with her, she didn't deserve it.

"I... I'm sorry. You didn't stop training since this morning and I was wondering if you wanted to take an ice cream with me outside... to have a little break, you know."

"No, I don't have time for this, I have to train." She answered coldly.

My heart clenched and my throat tightened at her tone. I felt my tears rising but I had to swallow my pain, I didn't want her to worry more and be another weight for her.

"B-But unnie, you..."

"Unnie? Why are you speaking formally to me? The others are not here."

"I... Yeah, you're right... but, what if I bring you the ice cream here, will you eat it with me?"

"No, Yoohyeon, some other time maybe. Now you should go train a bit your vocal."

'Some other time', that's what she was always saying. Well, I was still waiting. Was it too much to ask, an ice cream? She who was offering me some all the time, was now refusing just a single ice cream, a single moment with her girlfriend?

"Can I have a kiss at least?" I asked weakly. I just wanted a confirmation that I still meant something to her.

"Of course." She smiled as she came to me and pecked my lips before stepping back right after. "Now, go train. We will see each other tonight."

This smile didn't mean anything to me anymore. It felt empty, just like this kiss. We were dating and working together every day but we barely saw each other and it made me sick. I admired and loved her so much, I did everything she wanting me to and I tried to help her when she was feeling down but she was always pushing me away, as if I was nothing, as if I didn't have any feelings and couldn't feel hurt at her action. She who used to be able to understand me without words couldn't even see my pain now.

I faked a smile and walked out of the training room, heading to the studio upstairs. But I couldn't hold it anymore. My tears were flowing and I was loudly sobbing, releasing all the pain I built up inside. I ran upstairs, stumbling down some steps because of the tears that blurred my vision and quickly went to the studio. But, turning a corner, I violently bumped into Siyeon, falling on my butt. I quickly hid my face, stood up and went to lock myself in the vocal room. I couldn't even excuse myself, I knew my sobbing voice would betray me.

I walked in the recording room and sat on the floor against the wall, completely breaking down. I knew I could let myself go here, the room was soundproofed, nobody could hear me. Everything that happened just now came back to my mind and I couldn't help but replay it over and over again in my head. How did we get there? She who used to tell me every day how much she loved me, who couldn't stop to kiss me passionately every time she saw me was now so cold and distant. I needed her so badly, I needed the old Minji to come back to my side, to comfort me, to tell me everything was going to be fine, to smile at me like she used to do.

But suddenly a knock on the door took me out of my thoughts. I tried to silence my sob to hear who it was but I couldn't hear anyone. Until the handle of the door started moving up and down, as if this someone was trying to open the door I locked.

"Yoohyeon, open the door please." It was Siyeon.

"Why?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. I didn't want her to enter and see me crying. I just wanted to be alone... or have Minji come and comfort me.

"I forgot some fills in the locked drawer. But I'm the only one to have the key, you have to open the door. I won't disturb you, I promise."

Turned out I didn't have a choice. I felt like the world was against me, I couldn't even be alone for 10 minutes. I sighed and stood up, walking to the door. I unlocked it and turned my back to it right after, going back to the recording room, careful to hide my face from where she could be. She opened the door and entered, closing it right behind her. I didn't even have time to wonder what she was doing when she grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards her, hugging me tightly.

"It's okay Yoohyeon. You can let yourself go, I won't judge you." She reassured me, caressing gently my back and kissing my temple.

Without any hesitation, I hugged her back and hid my face in the crook of her neck, letting my tears roll down my cheeks and sobbing loudly. I needed this hug so much. Siyeon wasn't the person I wanted it from but at the moment, I didn't care. It was the most comforting hug I've ever had.

"Yoohyeon, what's happening to you? You know you can tell me. I would do anything to help." She said in a reassuring voice, kissing gently the top of my head a few times and sitting us on the chairs of the room. She cupped my face and wiped my tears away with her thumbs, lightly smiling to me. "Tell me."

I sniffed a few times before taking a deep breath. I couldn't keep it to myself and I knew it. Our relationship being secret was eating me up from the inside, I forbid me to talk about it to anyone but I couldn't keep this pain inside forever, it was killing me. And I knew I could trust Siyeon, she always had been here for me when I needed her.

"I... Minji and I... we are dating." I admitted looking down. I could feel her heavy stare on me and the silence wasn't helping at all.

"But it's not what's hurting you, right? What it is?" I knew she wanted to scold me but she was seeing that, at the moment, it would only make things worse. And I couldn't be more grateful that she didn't.

"I feel like she doesn't have any feelings for me anymore. She used to hug me tightly every time she saw me and now she's not even looking at me. She was always smiling to me and now, she's just so cold. I feel like she got tired of me." I admitted, letting a few tears roll down my cheeks.

"Do you really think someone could get tired of you? And if it was really the case, she would have break up with you long ago. She is not so hypocritical as to keep a relationship she doesn't like."

I lightly nodded my head, trying to convince myself at the same time. But if she still liked me, why was she acting like that with me?

"Look, Yoohyeon. I don't want to give you a moral lesson but dating while being an idol was the worst decision you could take. Even more if it's your leader. Look where you are now, this relationship is killing you and the person you call your girlfriend can't take care of you. You have to put an end to this mess."

How could I? Minji was the love of my life, I loved her more than anything. She did so much for me, she was always here when I needed her, she was the best thing that happened to me. I couldn't imagine living with her while being just a member of her group, it would be too hard. There was no way I was breaking up with her, she was too precious to me.

"I can't..." I whispered weakly. I wasn't even sure Siyeon heard me.

"What did you say?" She asked, coming closer.

"I can't." I repeated a little louder. "I can't break up with her."

"Yoohyeon, I know it's hard but-"

"You said it yourself, she still loves me, there is no reason to break up. I'm sure that when the situation of the group will get better, she will come back to me." I said, trying to convince Siyeon. But even I wasn't sure about it.

"I don't know Yoohyeon. Anyway, do what you want but don't forget that I'm here for you. It's not because I don't share your point of view that I'm letting you down, okay?"

"Yes, I know. Thank you Siyeon." I lightly smiled at her. I was so lucky to have her by my side, she never hesitated to put her loved one before anything and I knew I could trust her.

She cupped my face and placed a kiss on my forehead before standing up and leaving the room. I closed my eyes a few seconds and took a deep breath before opening them again and putting my music on, starting my vocal training.

**********

After that, we continued to work hard, even harder. But the more the time advanced and the more the threat of the disband was strong, and we couldn't do anything about that. No matter how much we practiced, nothing changed. And the inevitable happened, the agency decided to disband the group. Each member was devastated, after 2 years of career, we had to return to the stage of trainee.

But what affected me the most was the departure of Minji. She left overnight without even saying goodbye and it broke my heart into pieces. My group was a fail, my members were inconsolable and my girlfriend just abandoned me without looking back. My life was a disaster and I didn't have the energy to do anything, I felt so empty.

But I had to stay strong, at least for my members, no, my family. We went through so many things together, they deserved to be called my family. Even now, we were still together, not leaving each other. Well, at least four of us. Minji wasn't answering any of our calls or messages and I was worried about her condition. She was the one who worked the hardest to avoid the disband, it must have been even worst for her. I wanted to check on her, to hug and tell her that everything was going to be okay, like she used to do with me, but I couldn't. And it was so hard to move on from this failure without her.

**********

After two months of training, the CEO came to see the four of us to announce the future debut of a new group where we would all be, with our old positions. We would have a new and original concept and two new members. The girls couldn't be happier, jumping everywhere with a big smile, the same smile they had when we debuted 2 years ago.

But the only thing I could think of was Minji. Would she come back if we told her that we would debut again? During a whole month of training, she reminded me every day that she wouldn't debut without Siyeon and I. What if I did the same? What if I called her to tell her I wouldn't accept without her? Would she come back?

When we came out of meeting, I took my phone out of my pocket and ran outside, to be alone. I searched through my contacts and called the same number I was calling every day. And I have never hoped so much for her to answer. I always wanted her to respond but this time, it was different. This time it was more important than ever. The phone rang once, twice, three times, then suddenly a silence. I held my breath for a second and could even hear my heart beating like crazy. Was she about to answer?

"Hey, it's Kim Minji. Thank you for calling but I'm not available right now. Leave a message and I will call you back later! Bye!" It was the only words I heard from her voice for two whole months. 'I will call you back later' she said. Lie. She never called me back and she was probably never going to. Even when she wasn't there, she was able to make my heart tighten.

I waited for the beep to ring and started to record my message.

"Hey Minji, it's Yoohyeon... your girlfriend." I chuckled awkwardly, feeling like a stab in the heart at my own words. "I just wanted to let you know that the girls and I will debut again with a new group concept and new members. And... hum... we all miss you a lot, we want you as our leader again. We need you Minji... I need you, so badly. Anyway, I hope you are doing fine and you are happy where you are. Your happiness is the most important thing and I would understand if you didn't want to come back." I wanted to tell her that I wouldn't debut without her, that I would leave Seoul and that we wouldn't see each other ever again. But I didn't want to pressure her by threatening her and I really meant it when I said her happiness came first. "Take care of you Minji. I love you."

I hung up and closed my eyes a few seconds, enjoying the fresh breeze of Seoul. It was the only thing that could calm me after a stressing day now that the love of life, the one who had the power to make me forget everything with just a kiss, left. I didn't know what to do, I felt so lost. How could we debut without our leader? With a new? I would never be able to consider anyone as my leader, except her. She led us perfectly during our Minx period and, even if the group didn't succeed, we needed her back.

**********

A few days later, we met our new members, Handong and Gahyeon. Handong was a Chinese trainee and was a little bit older than me. She was really shy, always hidden under her cap, and never dared to go to see the other by herself especially since she wasn't fluent in Korean. She felt so lost, just like me when I arrived. But, unlike me, she didn't have the chance to have a Minji by her side. She was alone, in a country she didn't know and with a language she had trouble with. It must have been hard for her. So I quickly introduced myself to her in Chinese, to make her feel at home and little by little, she opened to me. We became fast friends and I was glad to have her in our new group.

The second member was our new maknae, Gahyeon. She was so cute, so bright! Sua and Siyeon already adopted her in just a few seconds. Her innocent smile and big eyes were the ones of a baby and it just made us want to pat her head and pinch her cheeks. She was just so cute!

Finally, the first group training started and Siyeon, Sua, Dami and I were so excited. It had been so long since we trained the four of us! First, Gahyeon and Handong showed us what they could do. And they were really talented for the really short time of training they had. They just arrived a few months ago after all!

But even though we were all really good, the training was a real mess. We weren't at all together and the tension started to rise between us. We couldn't understand each other, even I felt so lost. It was only our first training and it was already a real chaos. That was when I realized how important was a leader in a group, how important she was in our group. She was the one who maintained the order and the organization of the trainings and who calmed the tensions between the members. It was really during those moments that we missed her the most, I could see it in the members' eyes. But unfortunately, she wasn't here and the training was a complete mess.

The CEO quickly noticed that we couldn't do anything without a leader and started searching for one among the trainees. But we managed to negotiate with him and he gave two weeks for Minji to come back to her position. Pass the deadline, he would choose a new one.

But we couldn't let that happen. Every day, we were sending messages and calling her, even Handong and Gahyeon tried. One week passed and still no Minji and no answer. We were getting more and more worry at the thought of having a new leader, we couldn't work without her, she was the only one able to lead us.

6 days left, no answer. 5 days left, not even a message. 4 days left, not even a proof of being alive. She had now only 3 days to come back, after that, it would be too late. So, I sent her our new address and the entrance code to let her know that she was still welcome in our family. 2 days left, my hope was starting to disappear. 1 day left, there was no longer any chance.

Finally, her last day arrived and I waited for her. I waited for her the whole day at the agency, until the last minute, the last second. The members already went back home but I believed in her, she wasn't going to abandon us. I even bought flowers to offer her at her return, to show her how much I still loved her.

I was now standing in front of the agency with a bouquet of flowers in my hands, my eyes going back and forth from left to right looking for a familiar figure to appear. And I waited with the night as my unique companion. 23h30, still nobody, it was started to get cold outside. 23h45, I couldn't even feel my hands holding the bouquet anymore. 23h55, now, even my lips were trembling from the cold. Or was it really the cold?

Finally, midnight came and the person I needed the most wasn't there. That was official, she abandoned us, abandoned me. What was I even waiting for? I was stupid to think that she would come back. If she wanted to, she would have done it long ago. But she didn't, and it broke me. During my hard time, she always told me to fight and never give up. But here she was, running away after a single failure. She was maybe punishing herself, but she was punishing us at the same time.

"She didn't come, did she?" Asked me the CEO, coming out of the agency and putting a coat on my shoulders.

"No... she didn't." I confirmed, looking down. Admitting it out loud was really hard and made my heart tightened. She really let us down, just like that.

"I'm sorry Yoohyeon, I truly am. I know what she represented for all of you. But you know we have no choice, you can't stay without a leader forever."

"Yes, I know. Thank you for those two weeks, it really meant a lot for us."

"It's normal, I also wanted to give her a chance. I could see how good she was as a leader. It will be hard to find someone as good as her. I will start the auditions tomorrow and I'll give you my answer in the week."

"Okay, thank you." I wanted to cry, to scream, to break things, to... no, I didn't know what I wanted to do, nothing could have help me. We were officially going to have a new leader and it made me feel sick. But I understood, we had no other choice.

"Now, go home, you must be exhausted. See you tomorrow, Yoohyeon." He said with an apologetic smile.

"Thank you, Sir. See you tomorrow." I repeated, giving him a little smile.

I started walking lazily to the dorm, not really excited to announce the news to the members. 'Minji abandoned us, that's official!', no, I couldn't say that. How was I supposed to tell them? I threw the bouquet violently into the trash and headed back home, holding back my tears. I couldn't cry for her, she didn't deserve it. She let us down, she didn't deserve that I suffered for her. She wasn't worth my pain.

I arrived in front of the dorm and started to go up. But as I climbed the stairs, I slowed down, anxious to face my members. How could I tell them? They would be devastated, that was for sure. And I had to stay strong for them, to help them to go through this, but I was on the verge of crying, I felt betrayed and empty. She who reminded everyday how much she loved me was now far away from me and probably already erased me from her head and heart. But these memories were always engraved in me and made me suffer terribly.

'I know you will never love me as much as you love them but let me try to give you the same amount of love.', 'I would do anything to make you stay by my side.', 'I love you, Kim Yoohyeon. I fucking love you! Do you hear me?'

Thinking of those moments hurt so much. I felt my throat tighten and my heart clench. How could she be so sweet in the past and then suddenly abandon us? Didn't she have a heart?

And without even noticing it, I was in front of my door. I took a deep breath and pulled the keys out of my bag, trying to aim the lock as best I could, despite my watery eyes. I closed my eyes a few seconds, trying to stabilize my emotions and opened them again, turning the key in the lock and opened the door.

I slowly entered in the apartment and gently closed the door behind me, taking off my shoes and headed to the living room, looking at my feet. I didn't dare to look at the members, not when I was about to announce them a news that would destroy them for sure.

"Girls... I have something to tell you-" I started when I was cut by a familiar voice.

"Hyeon?"

What? This name, there was only one person who called me this way. This name was haunted me, it only brought back painful memories I wanted to forget. It made me remember her, the girl who made me fall deeply in love with her and then abandoned me.

I raised my head to look at the group and among the members, I saw her, staring at me with a smile on her face, this same warm and sweet smile I fell for 2 years ago. She was so surreal, even more pretty than before and her eyes still so hypnotizing. My heart stopped and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Was she really here? Or was it a hallucination? I was becoming crazy, wasn't I?

"Hyeon, it's me. I finally came back to you." She confirmed her presence with a smile.

That was too much for me. After holding back my tears for so long, I broke down and let everything out. How could she do that? She disappeared for two whole months without answering any calls or messages and would allow herself to come back and talk to me as if nothing had happened. Did she really think I was going to act the same? Forgive her without asking any question? She abandoned us when we needed her the most, she ran away while we all stayed to support each other.

Suddenly, she took a few steps toward me with her arms wide open.

"Get back!" I yelled at her. "I don't want you here, you don't deserve to come back. Get out! Get out now!"

I hated her so much, she made me go crazy and hurt me like no one ever had before. I couldn't let her get to me again, I couldn't trust her anymore.

But she wasn't listening to me and just got closer and closer until she was only a few centimeters away from me. With each step she took towards me, I took a step back until my back was against the wall. I was blocked and I couldn't go anywhere.

"Get back I said!" I yelled again, my tears flowing down my cheeks.

But she continued to get closer to me. I tried to push her away with all my strength but, like this famous night, she was way stronger than me and I couldn't do anything. She gently put her arms around me and hugged me tightly, tighter than she ever did.

"I missed you so much Yoohyeon."

This contact and those words made my heart fastened in just a second and I suddenly became so hot, my tighten throat almost preventing me from breathing. How come my body was still reacting this much to her, even after all this time?

"I hate you." I said sobbing loudly.

"And you have all the reasons to." She agreed, still hugging me tightly.

But despite that, I couldn't help but hug her back. I missed her so much too, she was occupying my mind every minute of every day since she left us. I missed her beauty, I missed her voice, I missed her warmth, I missed everything about her. She was the love of my life and I couldn't stay far from her.

I hugged her tightly with all my strength and hid my face in the crook of her neck, letting all of my pain out. Whether I smothered her or not, there was no way I was going to let her go, even for a second.

"You abandoned us... you abandoned me." I whispered, sobbing.

"I know, I'm sorry. But I wasn't in the right state of mind, I had to leave, take time to refocus on myself." She explained, rubbing gently my back with her hands. "I won't ever leave you, do you hear me? You are the most important person in my life and for nothing in the world I would lose you. I love you, Kim Yoohyeon, don't you dare forget that, ever." She said pulling back from the hug and cupping my face, wiping my tears away with her thumbs like she used to do.

I lightly nodded, trying to stabilize my breathing when she gently put her lips on mine. I could hear the surprise from the other members but right now, I didn't care. Minji was back and I could feel the love she still had for me through this kiss. It felt like it was our first kiss, hesitant but full of love.

We pulled back from the kiss and I gently put my forehead against hers, so relieved she was finally here with us. She looked happier than before and I could see the passion in her eyes, the same passion she used to have when we were trainees.

"I missed you so much, Minji."

"Me too. And thank you for calling me every day and leaving messages. I listened to them every day, I think I know them all by heart." She chuckled. "You're the best, Hyeon, thank you for not giving up on me."

"I would never." I smiled, pecking her lips a few times.

Minji was finally back and ready to take back her leader position. The next day, she came to the agency with us and met the CEO for a bit before joining us for the training. And, thanks to her, it all went perfectly. It was finally time for our rebirth, it was finally time for Dreamcatcher.

**********

One year later, the group was a success. We weren't as popular as Twice or Blackpink but we had a good community of fans, Insomnia. The new concept of the group was horror and I liked it way better. Our rock songs really had something unique and our three first title tracks 'Chase Me', 'Good night' and 'Fly High' attracted well the attention of the public.

Plus, after that night, Minji and I explained everything to the other members and they were all happy for us. Even Siyeon who was skeptical at first, was glad we were fine together. And she was right, we were more than fine. She made me remember why I fell for her so deeply, she was so sweet, caring, pretty, funny, patient. And like she used to do in the past, she could read me without a word. I found back the Minji I missed so much and she was now making my life so much better.

But, being in a relationship with my leader wasn't the easiest thing. During each promotion, I was entitled to periods of stress and rejection from the person I loved the most in this world. The agency was putting a lot of pressure on us and Minji didn't want to live the same thing we experienced with Minx. However, I still tried to take her out, to ease her mind and make her rest a little. Sua and Siyeon agreed with this and pushed her to go out with me, even if 'we didn't have time for that'. And now, she never rejected me as much as she did around the end of Minx, and that was all thanks to the members.

We all got closer to each other and I felt like I knew Handong and Gahyeon for years. I also grew closer to Sua, still being her roommate. She enjoyed teasing me all the time but I knew she loved me and would do anything for me. Yubin was acting like an unnie and was really protective, especially with Gahyeon and I. She became my confidence and my best friend, always having the best and wisest advices when I had some issues and never judging me on anything. And Siyeon was still my most comforting friend, always here to help me when I felt down. She was the sweetest and the softest but I knew she could kill anyone without hesitation if it was for me or one of the members.

So my life was perfect. I was doing the job of my dreams, I had the best girlfriend I could wish for and I had a new family I loved more than anything. Our agency even managed to put us in a survival show made by YG Entertainment, called 'Mixnine'. For this show, we trained really hard and I felt like I was a trainee again, being trained by the best mentor I knew, Minji. But this time, I wasn't her only student, she had 6 kids. And we all worked really hard to make her proud. Unfortunately, only four of us made it, Sua, Handong and Gahyeon weren't taken. And while Siyeon, Yubin, Minji and I were more than happy, we also felt really bad for them, especially Sua, who wanted to show to the world how good was the main dancer of Dreamcatcher. She worked days and nights, paying attention to every little detail to be sure to deliver a perfect performance. So this fail must have been really disappointing for her.

Minji, Siyeon, Yubin and I were now in the competition against really talented trainees and it wasn't easy to stand out. For the first step, I managed to finish in the top 9 but I quickly went down in the ranking while Minji was shining and ranked very high.

It was now time for our first big mission. We had to pick a song we would perform with other girls against a group of boys. I chose "It hurts" by 2NE1 and we were against the boy team who covered "It's okay" by BTOB. They were really good and had a lot of really talented vocalist like Jongho but I was confident, I knew we could win. Siyeon also chose a vocal performance and Yubin preferred a rap performance. Minji, as for her, went for a dance cover and chose "Boombayah" By Blackpink. All the ace were in her team, as if they reunited all the best performers of the survival to create this team. And the boy group against them were the same and had to cover "Very good" by Block B. We sure were going to have an incredible battle.

However, we had a really short period of time to train and we had to give our best, we couldn't let the boys win, especially when almost all of them thought that it was easy to win against girls. But I felt like this competition took me away from my members. I had little time to visit them and when I could, they were the ones who were busy. So, one evening, I decided to go to see Minji in her room after the training.

"Oh, hey!" Said Ryujin after she opened the door. "Hum... do you want something maybe?"

"Yes, I... I am one of Minji's members and I came to see her... if she's here?" Ryujin was younger than me but she impressed me a lot. She was JYP Entertainment's trainee and was the top 1 of the survival.

"Yes, she's here! Please come in!" She moved aside to let me enter. "Minji, one of your members is here!"

I walked to the center of the room and saw her sitting on her bed with an iPad on her lap, probably analyzing the videos they took today, as always. She raised her head and, as soon as she saw me, stood up and came to hug me tightly.

"I will leave you together. Is it okay if I come back in 20 minutes?" Asked Ryujin.

"Yes, it's perfect, thank you Ryujin." Minji smiled to her.

Ryujin bowed lightly to me and left the room, letting me alone with my girlfriend. I pulled back from the hug and was about to ask her how her training was doing but she crushed her lips on mine and kissed me deeply, putting her arms around my waist to keep me close. At first, I didn't understand why she was that eager but I didn't care. I put my arms around her neck and deepened the kiss even more, opening lightly my mouth to welcome her tongue with mine. But I didn't have the time to enjoy the kiss that she pulled back and pushed me on her bed, crawling over me to find back my lips and continue where we stopped.

My heart was beaten so fast and my hands were trembling like crazy. My body shivered every time her fingers ran on me, even more when she slipped one of her hands under my shirt. That was really unexpected, she never was this bold. She gently caressed my belly with her thumb and used her free hand to grab my thigh, letting her fingers go under my short. But this move made me panic, it was going too fast and I wasn't ready for that. My whole body was shaking and I couldn't concentrate on the kiss. I felt trapped under Minji's embrace and I was even running out of air, feeling the panic take over and the tears rise.

"Hey, hey, Yoohyeon, look at me, it's okay. Breathe slowly, everything is fine." She said calmly, removing her hands from where they were and caressing my cheek in a reassuring move. "Don't worry, we will take it slow, okay? I'm sorry for hurrying you, we didn't even talk about it, it's my fault. I'm sorry, Hyeon." She whispered, lying next to me and taking me in her arms, softly kissing the top of my head a few times.

"No, it's all my fault. We've been dating for so long and you still have to wait for me. I'm the worst girlfriend, I'm so sorry Minji..." I hugged her close, hiding my face in the crook of her neck.

"What a nonsense! Do you really think I stay with you for... sex? It's okay if you're not ready, I completely understand. No matter if I have to wait 1 month, 1 year or 10 years, I will wait. Because the most important thing is you, only you! And not sex, what the hell!" She gently scolded me.

"I'm sorry for thinking that, I-"

"Stop excusing yourself all the time, Yoohyeon! You have nothing to be ashamed of."

I lightly nodded, not letting go of her. I got scared because I thought that the old Minji, the cold Minji who couldn't read me took over. And this thought was haunting me. Every day, I was scared to wake up with this Minji. But she wasn't like this anymore. Just right now, she was managing to calm me down just with a warm hug and that was why I fell for her. She could understand me just so well.

We stayed silent for a bit, her hand caressing my back in a reassuring way. And little by little, my breathing was becoming steady again and I had regained control of my emotions.

"So tell me, how is your training going?" She asked me, probably to make me think of something else. And I was grateful for that.

"It's going pretty well, we are working really hard and we are able to do great things like harmonies and all. And today, we had our mid-term evaluation and our teacher said that it was a really good job!" I smiled, proud of what we achieved.

"Congratulation, Hyeon. You're amazing, of course they would love what you do!" She said, looking at me with eyes filled with love. Her eyes, I loved them so much, I could look at them all day long.

"And you?" I asked back.

"Our mid-term evaluation is tomorrow but I'm confident. We worked really hard with the girls and did our best in the preparation. So I don't see what the teacher could blame us for."

"I'm sure she will say it's perfect, like everything you work for." I smiled at her. "I didn't see what you did yet but I already imagine you destroying those arrogant boys." I said as we heard a knock on the door.

"Unnie, it's Ryujin! Can I enter?" She asked from the other side of the door.

"Sure, come in Ryujin!" Answered Minji, pecking my lips one last time before standing up. I stood up too as the JYP's trainee entered in the room.

"I will get going now." I announced, passing by Ryujin. "Good night and good luck for tomorrow!"

"Thank you, Hyeon. Good night to you too." Minji said with a warm smile.

"Thanks unnie, see you around!" Added Ryujin as I left their room and headed back to mine.

**********

But I was wrong, their evaluation didn't go well at all. Their teachers questioned all their work by saying it was boring and messy. And this review destroyed their team. They worked days and nights, trying to be as perfect as possible to finally see their work be called 'boring' and 'messy'.

They now had to start from the beginning with half of the original time and a horrible review that echoed over and over in their heads. But this new high training rate wasn't beneficial to them, they never took any break and gave themselves only 10 minutes to eat and 5 hours to sleep. They were all suffocated by stress and fatigue, especially Minji who was their leader. She never took the time to eat at lunch and gave herself only 3 hours of sleep. Luckily, Ryujin came to warn me about her condition, worried about her.

"Unnie?" I called her as I entered in their training room. They just finished to perform 'Boombayah' again and I had now all their eyes on me.

"Yoohyeon? What are you doing here?" She asked, looking at me too. 'Yoohyeon', she just called me by my complete name, it meant that it wasn't going to be easy. She usually liked to call me 'Hyeon' in front of others, proud to show our proximity. But now, she was acting distant, probably to let me know that she 'didn't have time' to talk to me.

"I need some advice for my vocal performance. Could you come with me for 5 minutes to help me, please?" I lied. I knew her, at those moments, only the work and the training mattered. She would have never accepted if I asked her to take a break to talk to me.

"Sure." She agreed. "Girls, you can take a break, I'm coming back in 5 minutes." She announced before coming to me.

We left the room as I saw Ryujin articulate a 'good luck' and gave me a thumb up. I took Minji's hand and guided her to my training room where there was no one since all the girls left for their lunch break. I let her come inside before I closed the door and leaned on it, to make sure she couldn't leave.

"Okay, now put the music on and sing, I have to go back quickly to my training." She said without a hint of emotion on her face or in her voice.

"I'm sorry, Minji, but I didn't really need any help in fact..." I admitted, scared of her reaction.

"What? Then why did you make me come here? You're wasting my time!" Ouch. I was used to this kind of comments when she was stressed but it still hurt a lot. But I knew she didn't really mean them in the end.

"Ryujin told me you always skipped lunch and didn't take good care of yourself." I explained.

"I'm okay, don't worry. And it's only for a week-"

"Yes, for a whole week! You can't continue like this, Kim Minji, you're destroying yourself! What do you think Sua unnie would say if she knew?" I scolded her. Even if I was younger than her, I was still her girlfriend and that was my job to take care of her health.

"Don't you dare scold me, I'm still your leader for all I know." She argued back. She was now using her leader card and put aside the girlfriend one. "And I know how to take care of myself, I don't need you."

I heard it clearly, my heart break in thousand pieces. I needed her all the time, when I was feeling down, when I was excited, when I was tired. But she didn't need me, that was what she said. What was left of my heart clenched and I felt my head spinning. My throat tightened and I had some difficulties to contain my tears. But I had to, I was here to help her even if she said otherwise. Even Ryujin, a girl she met two weeks ago saw how much she wasn't okay.

"I-" I started but I was cut by the door opening behind me. I moved away and saw Siyeon enter in the room, giving a black look at Minji. If a look could kill, she would have died long ago. But, like all the times she was with me when I wasn't feeling well, I felt more relaxed and secure and my heartbeat slowed down a little bit.

"Do you really think you can treat your members like that?" She scolded her with her scary low voice, not breaking the eye contact. "You're treating her like shit while she's trying to help you!" She raised her voice a little, coming to me and putting her arms around my waist to show me I wasn't alone this time. And I was grateful for that.

"No, I-" Minji tried to defend herself when Siyeon cut her again.

"You just told her you didn't need her! Do you imagine what she's feeling right now? She's your fucking girlfriend, unnie! You just told your girlfriend you didn't need her!"

What I was feeling right now? I was feeling horrible. My heart was hurting terribly and my head was spinning so much I was dizzy. Being in Siyeon's embrace made me want to break down and let her recomfort me like she always used to but, at the same time, I didn't want to show my pain to Minji, I didn't want her to see how weak she could make me. As difficult as it was, I tried to hold back the tears that were coming but it was getting too hard, even Siyeon's calming hands on my waist weren't helping anymore. I couldn't forget what Minji just told me and I felt like I was stabbed in the heart every time I played it in my head.

'I don't need you.'

'I don't need you.'

'I don't need you.'

In the end, I lost my fight again and felt a tear rolling down my cheek. I detached myself from Siyeon and ran outside, not saying anything. I ran along the long corridors, I ran between the training rooms, I ran among the contestants, I ran far from Minji. Maybe running away from my problems would help me? After all, it helped her well when she abandoned us, abandoned me. But suddenly, boom, I fell violently on my butt. I raised my head to try to find what caused my fall and, when I saw him, I immediately understood. Jo Yonggeun, the leader of HNB was trying to regain his balance with a hand against the wall. Fuck, why did I always have to bump into people while I was feeling like shit?

I quickly stood up and bowed deeply, trying to hide my tears.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push you, it's all my fault." I excused myself, trying to keep my voice steady.

"It's okay, Yoohyeon-ssi, no need to be so formal, we are from the same agency." He answered with a sweet smile. "Are you okay, by the way? You fell pretty hard... but, a-are you crying?!" He panicked, seeing my tears. "O-Oh my god, did I hurt you? I'm so sorry, Yoohyeon-ssi! Wait, let me take you to the nurse!"

He ran to me and put one arm around my shoulders and one under my knees lifting me as if I weighed nothing. I let out a little scream of surprise and automatically put my arms around his neck, scared to fall.

"N-No, don't worry, I can walk." I said, patting his shoulders a few times, to ask him to put me down.

"Then... why are you crying?" He asked, gently putting me back to the floor but still supporting me with one hand, probably seeing I was feeling dizzy.

"I... It's complicated." I said looking down.

"Do you want to talk about it in a more private place? You don't have to tell me everything but it's always good to share out loud our worries." He suggested with a reassuring smile.

"Sure, thank you." I answered with a smile, not even hesitating. He was right, I needed to talk about it to someone, even if I couldn't tell the whole story. Plus, I would be good to have the opinion of someone other than the members, maybe it could help.

I followed him through the long corridors until he stopped in front of a storage room. At first, I didn't understand why he took me here but I quickly realized in what I had gotten myself into. Oh god, I fell on a perv.

"I-I'm sorry, but in the end, I-I'm not interested in your offer. I d-didn't know you were talking about this kind of talk." I shuttered, trying to take me out of this situation.

"What are you talking about?" He asked sounding confused.

"Y-You wanted to go here t-to do... hum... you know?" I tried to explain, pointing at the room in front of us.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, it's my fault!" He bowed quickly before pointing at some benches next to the room. "I was thinking about sitting here, not in this room! I'm so sorry you thought about it, I should have stop in front of the benches!"

"Ah okay, I must admit I got scared for a few seconds." I chuckled awkwardly.

"Yeah, you must have, sorry again about it." He excused himself again, scratching his nape.

We went to sit on the benches, facing each other and stayed silent for a bit. This silence was started to be awkward and I didn't dare to start talking, I was just looking down, swinging my legs from front to back under the bench. With Minji, the silent was never uncomfortable, it was a nice and comforting silent. But now, it was just awkward. I already missed her so much and felt guilty for what happened earlier.

"So, tell me Yoohyeon, what's on your mine?" He broke the ice.

"I..." I didn't know where to start or what to tell him, I was scared to say too much. "Jiu, my leader, she's... she's suffering a lot from the pressure on her shoulders. And to hold on, she locks herself in work and pushes her members away, including me. I feel like... she always wants to show only her perfect side, even to us, her family. Like... she's putting this barrier between us, and when I try to help her, she just... she violently pushes me away."

"Yes, I see what you mean. Well, I can understand her in a way. We are both leader and from the same agency. We are being taught to always be perfect and to be an example for our members. Because, if we aren't doing a good job, then the rest of the group won't either. So I can totally understand what she's feeling. And her being in the top 9 already is probably not helping. You see?"

"Yeah, you're right. I never thought of it that way before, but it makes sense, indeed." I agreed. He was right after all. She had to give the example, so I could understand that she didn't want to break down in front of us and share her worries with us. But still, I was her girlfriend, she could let go with me. But she never did...

"But you told me she was rejected you... violently?" He asked.

"Hum... yes, indeed." I answered, looking at my hands on my lap.

"Tell me about it." He said, grabbing my hands with his. I raised my head, a bit taken aback by his action and saw him smile warmly at me.

"When we were still Minx, she always refused to spend time with me because 'she didn't have time' for me. And when I had the occasion to be with her, she was so cold with me and looked... bored? Even today, I tried to help her and she yelled at me saying she didn't need me." I explained, feeling my tears rise just by thinking of this.

I sniffled a few times, trying to contain my tears when I felt Yonggeun's hands squeeze mine to get my attention. I looked at him and saw him smiling warmly at me.

"You can let go, Yoohyeon, I'm not here to judge you." I nodded, letting a few tears roll down my cheeks. It was so hard to hold back every time she hurt me. I could only feel really strong feelings for her: intense joy, profound anger, deep sorrow. I felt like I was on a roller coaster and I started to get tired of this. "I can understand why she wants to be strong in front of you. But, you're right, rejecting you like this is not right. But who am I to judge her? I'm just sorry for you and your members, I-"

"Yes, who are you to judge me?" I heard a familiar voice next to us.

I turned my head and saw her, Minji. She was looking at Yonggeun as if she wanted to jump on him. I turned back my attention to him and he was frozen, fixing Minji without saying anything. Was she that angry because we talk about her behind her back? No, there was something else. But I couldn't find what it was. That's when I felt it, hands tightening on mine. Shit, I was holding hands with a boy in front of her. I quickly pulled back my hands and stood up, wanting to explain. But Yonggeun was faster than me and stood up in a hurry, bowing deeply.

"I'm sorry, Jiu-ssi, I didn't mean to criticize you or the way you lead your members." He said, not raising his head.

"Leave. Now." She ordered, not even looking at him but looking straight into my eyes. I gulped difficultly, scared of what was about to come.

"Y-Yes, goodbye Jiu-ssi, goodbye Yoohyeona." He bowed to her and waved at me. This nickname he just gave wasn't going to help my case. I followed him with my eyes, until he disappeared into the long corridors and then returned my attention to Minji.

"Minji, I-"

"So, I let you a few days alone because I have to work and what are you doing? Flirting with the boys of the agency?" She scolded me, looking really angry, but mostly hurt.

"No, I-"

"I just caught you holding hands with a guy and talking shit behind my back! What are you searching for, Kim Yoohyeon?" She just called me with my full name, it wasn't going to end well.

"Minji, let me explain, I-"

"There is nothing to explain. I work hard for Dreamcatcher, training days and nights, and what does my girlfriend do to help me? Wasting my time and go have fun with other people? I don't give you enough time, I'm sorry, but I can't be a good leader and a good girlfriend at the same time. It can't work well together."

"W-What do you mean?" I asked unsure, already having an idea of what she was talking about. But it couldn't be that, it just couldn't. My heart tightened and it became hard to breathe.

"Let's break up."

Nothing. That was what I was feeling at that moment, nothing. My heart was empty and my view became blurred. I even had trouble hearing what was around me. The only thing I noticed was her figure leaving far from me. I wanted to go after her, to explain to her that nothing happened with Yonggeun and that she was the most perfect girlfriend I could wish for but my legs didn't listen and became weaker and weaker, until I fell on my knees, not even trying to stand up. Suddenly, I felt a huge pain in my heart, as if someone was crashing it. I let out a cry of pain, feeling my cheeks get wet as my tears flowed down, when I saw a blurred figure coming close to me, kneeling next to me and hugging me close. It wasn't Minji, but she had the most comforting hugs I knew, Siyeon. I let myself go in her arms, burying my face in the crook of her neck, not able to hold my pain anymore.

After a few minutes of crying my eyes out, I felt exhausted. I had no more tears to shed and I didn't even have enough energy to get up. Siyeon had to carry me on her back all the way to my room and asked a day off for me to the producer of the survival. She put me in bed and made sure I was comfortable before going back to training, leaving me alone with my broken heart.

I miss you, Kim Minji.

Chapter Text

Yoohyeon's POV:

Once again, Minji was right. Wasting training time hanging out with others led Siyeon, Dami and I to defeat while her team and her destroyed the boys. After this defeat, I felt so disappointed, so guilty. But not only because we lost, but also because Minji was right all this time. She knew what she was talking about while I was just pushing her to stop training for some time. Our break up was only my fault and I felt so bad for this. I had just been humiliated by a group of boys and my girlfriend had dumped me because of my ignorance. I felt like everything was going wrong, that all the good things I had in my life were slipping through my hands.

After this mission, our agency took us out of the survival to attend our tour in Brazil. Our manager went to pick us by car in front of the building and waited for us to do our last goodbyes to the other contestants. I hugged them one by one, wishing them good luck for the rest of the survival and finally arrived in front of Ryujin, hugging her tightly.

"Thank you for taking good care of her during those weeks." I thanked her, still hugging her.

"It was the least I could do. And... I'm so sorry for your break up, it's all my fault..." She said, pulling back and looking down.

"W-What? How did you know?" I whispered-yelled, shocked about her knowing. "And of course not, why would it be your fault?" I asked her, putting my hands on her shoulders, making her look at me.

"It was kind of obvious." She smiled. "And maybe Jiu unnie told me too."

"She told you?"

"Yes, she did. That night when you came to our room, you remember? Once you left, she told me how incredible and beautiful you were. I then asked if you were dating and she confirmed it. But a few days after, she came back crying and told me you broke up. It's because I sent you to her, no? Because you scolded her and she didn't like it, right?"

"Of course not! There was already some tension between us before that, so I think that was the final straw..." I reassured her sadly.

"Okay, I understand. Well, I hope it will get better between you, at least as friends."

"I hope so too." I smiled at her, hugging her again. "Goodbye Ryujin, take care of yourself."

"Thank you unnie, take care of yourself too."

I let go of her and smiled to the contestants one last time before going in the car, sitting next to Siyeon. Yubin sat behind us while Minji sat in the front but as soon as I got in the car, I could feel her stare on me through the rear mirror, and it made me feel more than uncomfortable. Luckily, Siyeon's hand on mine quickly helped me to feel better.

It has been one week since she broke up with me and the pain was still the same, not leaving me for even a second. Every night, I wanted so much to let go of this pain and let all the tears I held inside go out but I couldn't, my roommates would have ask questions. Luckily, our song was a sad one so I didn't need to pretend to be happy. Insomnias would have noticed otherwise.

But when I watched Minji do her sexy-cute performance, I didn't see a hint of sadness. Yet, Ryujin told me she was crying after our break up and she still loved me when we were together. Well, at least that was what I was thinking before but her emotionless expression made me doubt even her previous feelings for me. Or did she really move on that fast? So our relationship meant that little to her?

I raised my head to focus my attention from my lap to the road in front of us but met her eyes in the rear mirror. My heart suddenly fastened and I tightened my grip on Siyeon's hands, trying to find some comfort. Was she looking at me since we left?

"Yoohyeona... I-" Minji started but was quickly cut by an aggressive Siyeon.

"No, unnie."

What was she about to say? She just called me with an affectionate nickname, she wasn't going to say anything hurtful. Why did Siyeon cut her? I was always grateful that she protected me as she always did but right now I just wanted to listen to what Minji wanted to say. Just that nickname coming from her lips brought hope to my heart. I tried to make eye contact with her in the rear mirror to let her know that, even if I didn't want to turn against Siyeon, I still wanted to listen to what she was about to say. But she wasn't looking in the same direction anymore and was now playing uncomfortably with her fingers.

The rest of the route was silence, nobody dared to speak. From time to time, I checked in the rear mirror to see the eyes I loved so much but Minji was looking at the road, seeming lost in her thoughts. What was she thinking about? Us I hoped. Maybe she was reconsidering our break up. But it would be too good to be true.

As we arrived in front of the dorm, we climbed the stairs still in silence and I could feel the strong tension between Minji and Siyeon. Suddenly, I felt really guilty. Them, who were best friends for years were now fighting because of my mistakes. But my pain quickly left when I entered in the apartment and saw three big smiles welcoming us. Minji opened her arms to hug Sua but the main dancer passed her without even looking at her and went to hug me instead.

"I heard what happened, I'm so sorry for you, Yoohyeon." She whispered in my ear, not letting go of me. "I promise I will help you to move on from this."

I lightly nodded and hugged her back, grateful for this comforting hug and encouraging words. She loved teasing me but I knew that she would always be here to support me when I would need her.

"Now, go rest a little, puppy. I'm joining you in a bit." She said, pulling back from the hug and patting my butt a few times.

I detached myself from her and headed to my room. But when I passed by Minji, I slowed down without looking at her, to give her time to call me, if she wanted to tell me something. But nothing, she said nothing. I entered in my room and close the door, before jumping on my bed and buried myself under the blanket.

And without realizing it, I fell deeply asleep, not even hearing that someone entered in the room and climbed on my bed. But as soon as I felt some movement next to me, I slightly opened my eyes, even though the person turned off the lights, I could see a blurred figure laying in front of me. It was probably Sua who wanted to comfort me again by sleeping with me. I came closer to her and hugged her, hiding my face in the crook of her neck. But something was off, Sua was smaller and definitely didn't have the same shapes. However, this body was really familiar, I knew I already slept with this person a lot. So, among the members, who could it be?

That's when I realized, I understood why I knew her so well, every little parts of her body. This person was Minji. I quickly let go of her and sat on my bed, crawling far away from her. What was she doing here, in my bed, hugging me?

"M-Minji?" I asked to be sure.

"Oh, I'm sorry I woke you up." She said, sitting.

"W-What are you doing here?"

"Y-You don't want me here?"

What? What was she talking about? Of course, I wanted her. But she just broke up with me and ignored me for a whole week. So why did she suddenly came to sleep with me? I didn't answer and just stared at her silhouette, waiting for an explanation.

"I... I wanted to talk to you. But when I arrived, you were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you up. So I turned off the lights and climbed in your bed to hug you because... I felt like doing it?"

"You felt like doing it? Minji, you can't just do things because you feel like doing them! We just broke up!" I raised my voice.

"Friends can't sleep together?"

"F-Friends?" I was caught off guard by this word. Since our fight, we didn't talk to each other so I couldn't even know what we were anymore.

"Aren't we... friends?"

No, I hoped we weren't. In the car, she wanted to talk to me and just now she hugged me in my bed. I couldn't hide that I felt a little hope that she still wanted me as her girlfriend. But looked like I was wrong.

"Yes, of course... we are friends." I answered, looking down. But, as I felt her eyes on me, I raised my head and saw a sad expression on her face. "What is it?"

"I... Look Yoohyeon, I know I really messed up and you probably hate me right now but I wanted to let you know that I'm really sorry and I regret a lot what I did."

"W-What are you talking about?"

"I yelled at you for being with someone else but it was all my fault. You were searching for some comfort because I pushed you away. And I know you would never cheat on me, I was stupid to think that."

Suddenly, my hope came back. I felt like I was in a roller coaster, my feelings changing from one extreme to the other in a second.

"What do you mean with that?" I tried to push her to say it.

"I..."

"Yes?"

"I want you back, Yoohyeon. I want you back in the position you used to have in my head and my heart. I want you back as the center of my world, as the light of my life. I want you back as the love of my life, Kim Yoohyeon."

I couldn't be happier, I wanted to jump everywhere and scream to the world that she was mine again. But I wanted to mess up with her a little bit.

"And what if I don't want?"

"Then I would understand. I hurt you a lot and I don't deserve you as a lover. I would already be honored to be your friend and your leader."

"And what if I don't want to be your friend neither and I don't want you to lead me anymore." I said as coldly as I could. But it was so hard to hold my laugh as she looked at me with widened eyes.

"R-Really? You hate me that much?" That's when I saw tears in her eyes that I understood this jock went too far.

I crawled quickly to her and hugged her tightly, kissing her cheek a few times before placing a soft kiss on her lips.

"I was kidding, of course I want to be your girlfriend again." I smiled at her as I saw her face brighten in a second.

"Don't do this to me, you're mean! I really thought I lost you for good!" She laughed, hugging me tightly and laying us on the bed.

"You will never loose me, Minji. Do you hear me?" I reassured her, gently caressing her cheeks.

"I love you so much, Hyeon. And I'm really sorry for what I did. I was just so stressed and the production was putting a lot of pressure on my shoulders, I was losing my mind."

"I know, I know. Don't think about it anymore, it's in the past." I reassured her, leaving a few kissing everywhere on her face.

It was so good to finally have her back in my arms again. I missed her touch, her embrace and her soft kisses, I miss her sweetness and her smiles full of love she only gave to me. I missed everything about her and be back in her arms was the most incredible thing in the world, I felt at home.

**********

Two weeks later, we left for our tour in Brazil and it was one of the most amazing experiences I ever had in my whole life. Being able to meet our fans and travel to the other end of the world with my family made my body and heart so warm and so full. My life couldn't be better, especially since I could do all those things with my girlfriend, the person I loved the most in the world. After we got back together, I could feel again the Minji I loved so much, always so bright and caring, taking care of me as if I was the eighth wonder of the World. But even though we were the happiest together, Siyeon still didn't agree with this relationship and she paid attention to everything that happened, ready to get me back if things got out of hand, but especially ready to yell at Minji like she had never done before if she dared to hurt me again.

But Minji and I were doing really fine together so I didn't believe her. However, she had to be right. When we came back from Brazil, we started to prepare our next mini album with our title track "You and I". And preparation time meant stress and rejection from my girlfriend, again. How stupid was I to think she would change after our break up? But I wasn't going to give up on her, she once realized her mistakes so I was sure that, if I pushed her a little bit, she would open her eyes and see how her behavior was destroying our relationship, was destroying me.

"Love?" I asked, entering in the training room while she was doing the choreography alone once again.

"Hey, Hyeon!" She called me, not stopping her training.

She wasn't looking at me and wasn't running to me to hug me but at least she saw I was in the room and wasn't bothered by it, since she just called me 'Hyeon'. It was going pretty great for now.

"Do you want to do a break and come to eat an ice cream with me?"

"No, thanks, I don't have the time for this."

"R-Really? You don't even have 15 minutes for your girlfriend?" I pouted cutely, trying to use the cute girlfriend card to convince her.

"Not now, Yoohyeon, I'm busy. This evening at the dorm if you want."

I felt like I was just an appointment on her schedule and I started to get tired of it. Now, I had to make her realize what she was doing, even if it was going to be hard for her.

"Don't you remember what happened the last time you pushed me away for a training?"

"It wasn't the same, it was a survival."

"Yes, but you are doing exactly the same."

"Right now is more important Yoohyeon. For the survival, we were going to leave anyway!" She raised her voice a little, coming to me now that the song was finished.

"So, you're telling me you broke up with me... for nothing?" I asked, feeling my heart tighten and tears rise.

She preferred to train for something that was almost worthless rather than spend time with her girlfriend. How was I supposed to react to this?

"Don't be ridiculous, you know it's not that."

"Then explain to me what it is! I just want to have a fucking ice cream with my fucking girlfriend! Is it too much to ask?" I yelled at her, now on the verge of crying.

"Why are you so selfish? If we don't train enough, we will finish like Minx, and it will be all your fault!" She shouted at me.

'Selfish'? That was what she was really thinking? Was she really thinking that I wanted our group to fail?

"Okay... I understand... I'm sorry..." I quietly said looking down, not able to hold my tears anymore.

"No, wait Yoohyeon, that's not what I wanting to-" She started to say softly when I ran outside, not hearing the end of her sentence. "Yoohyeon! Wait!" I heard yelled behind me, but I didn't care and continued to run.

And I ran, far from her, far from my pain. I ran for what seemed like hours. I ran without even knowing where I was going. But I ran, as fast as I could. Finally, I stopped in a street that looked familiar, it was the street of our dorm. I walked to the entrance door and climbed lazily the stairs, before entering in the apartment and falling on the couch, exhausted. At that moment Siyeon came out of the room and walked to me.

"Hey Yoohyeona! How was your trai-" She stopped when she saw my red eyes. Suddenly, her stare became black as if she was going to kill someone. "What did she do?"

Of course she knew. She was here from the beginning and knew Minji and I like no one else. I buried my face in the couch, not wanting to talk about it. She was going to yell at Minji for sure and I didn't want that. I was her girlfriend after all, I had to protect her.

"Yoohyeon, tell me please. You can't keep that to yourself, it will only hurt you." She said in a soft tone.

She walked to me and sat on the couch, gently caressing my back. I turned my head to the side to be able to talk, and sobbed a few times.

"I don't want you to yell at her again." I whispered under my sobs.

"But she's hurting you, Yoohyeon. I can't let that happen."

"Please..." I pleaded her, turning my body to fully see her.

"Okay." She agreed, sighing. "Now, tell me."

I slowly sat down, still sobbing a little and took a deep breath before telling her what happened.

"She... I..."

"It's okay, take your time."

"This afternoon, I came to see her in the training room to offer her to take a break. I thought that... I thought that she was going to accept, since she knew what led us to break up. But once again, she rejected me and when I reminded her why we broke up, she just shouted at me that... that I was selfish, that I didn't think of the group and that... we were going to finish like Minx because of me." I looked down. At this memory, I felt my heart burning so much and pushed my hands on my chest, trying to ease the pain, but it didn't change anything.

"You know it's not true, right?" Siyeon asked me, hugging me tightly and putting my head on her shoulder.

I lightly nodded, even if it wasn't true. I didn't know what to think and who I could believe anymore. I felt so dizzy by all this mess around me and I didn't know what to do.

"Yoohyeon, look at me." She said, grabbing my shoulders and pulling me back a little. "I know you love Minji and you know I do too. But we both know how she is, she hates to show her weak side to others. She'd rather push us away than show weakness under all this pressure. She just wants to protect us from the stress of being an idol and I am more than grateful for that. But that's not an excuse for what she's doing to you. Don't you agree with me?"

"Yeah... you're right..."

"Yooh, I'm worried about you, you can't continue like this. I know you both love each other but this relationship is toxic and I'm sure you realized it already. You have to do something about it."

"What can I do?" I asked with a broken voice, looking straight into her eyes. I couldn't think of any other solution than breaking up and this thought made my heart tighten and my tears rise. "I can't live without her, Siyeon. I just can't."

"I know, but you won't live without her, she's always your leader after all. And we will all continue to sleep under the same roof, right?" She smiled at me.

"So... what should I do? Break up with her?" I asked, searching for another alternative.

"Hum... maybe a break up is really sudden and definitive, no? What about just a break? Only for the promotion time, and then you see where you are. If you feel like being single was better for you, then stay this way. Otherwise... well, I can't really tell you want to do."

"Yes, you're right... once again." I chuckled sadly, looking at my hands on my lap. Was I really going to stop the relationship that lighted my life? Was I really going to push away the person I loved the most in this whole world?

"So, what are you going to do?" She asked.

"Take a break from her? I think it's the best thing I could do. Especially since at least she will be able to focus on training without worrying about me. So, it's good for the both of us, no?"

"Yes, it is. I'm proud of you, Yoohyeon." She said, gently kissing my forehead. "Now, go and rest a little while waiting for her. And send her a little message saying you want to talk."

"Okay, I will do that. Thank you, Siyeon." I kissed her cheek and walked to my room, taking my phone out and messaging Minji.

**********

After an hour or so, I went to wait in her room. I thought it would be better, since I would be able to leave the room after the break up. Otherwise, she would have stayed in my room, trying to convince me to think again, and I wasn't strong enough to face her for long. At least, like this, Siyeon would be able to help Minji after, and I would probably need Sua or Yubin too.

After a few minutes, I heard the entrance door violently open and close as someone ran to my room.

"Yoohyeon? Hyeon where are you?" Minji asked from outside. I then heard her run to Yubin's room and finally Handong and Gahyeon's room. "Yoohyeon, please answer me!"

"I'm here, Minji." I said with an unsure voice, standing up to open the door of her room.

But, as I was approaching the door, it wide opened and almost hit me. I didn't even have the time to blink that a tornado entered in the room and hugged me tightly.

"Yoohyeon, I'm so sorry for what I said and how I behaved. You know I didn't mean anything I said, right?" She said, hugging me even tighter.

I wanted to hug her back so badly but I couldn't. I was about to break up with her, I couldn't comfort her. But it became even harder when I felt her tears wet my shirt. Seeing her cry was breaking my heart, and the worst was that I was going to make her suffer even more.

"You can't imagine how much I regret what happened this afternoon. I know I'm the worst girlfriend you could ever have, but I promise I will work hard to get better. I promise I will do my best to make you proud to have me as your girlfriend. But please, Hyeon, don't leave me, you promised." Her last sentence was muffled by sobs but I still understood and it honestly made me question my decision. That was true, I promised. But when she came back after Minx, she promised too but still broke up with me during Mixnine.

And without even realizing it, I put my arms around her and hugged her back. What was I supposed to do now? Take a break from her, as I planned it, or believe her and try again?

"Yoohyeon? Can you say something please?" She asked softy, still sobbing a little.

I pulled back from the hug and cupped her face, wiping her tears away with my thumbs. She looked so small, so vulnerable. How was I supposed to abandon her?

"Minji, I..." I started, removing my hands from her face. But as soon as I did so, new tears left her eyes and it broke my heart more than anything.

"I know you want to break up with me, no need to beat around the bush. I'm sorry for being so disappointing, you deserve a lot better than that." She cried, looking down.

"Hey, no, of course you weren't disappointing." I said, cupping her cheeks again, making her look at me. "Minji, you are the best girlfriend I could dream of."

"But you want to break up with me." She sobbed. She looked so weak right now, just like a little kid we would want to protect at all cost. Letting her now would be a disaster for her and for the whole group, I couldn't do that.

"No, Minji, I won't break up with you. I will stay with you and help you whenever you need me." I hugged her tightly, kissing her temple a few times.

"I love you, Yoohyeon. I love you so much." She cried loudly in my arms.

She was finally breaking down. After all those years holding back in front of me, she finally let go of her pain and let me help her. And I was really happy about that, it was a really good start.

After a few minutes, she calmed down a little bit, surrendering to my arms and letting me cradle her gently. I took her to her bed, making sure she was comfortable under her blanket, before leaving a soft kiss on her lips and forehead.

"Good night, Minji. I love you." I whispered, standing up.

"I love you more." She whispered back with a cute smile.

I smiled back and left the room, turning off the light and closing the door. But as soon as I was out of the room, Siyeon came to see me.

"You couldn't do it, right?"

Suddenly, I felt really uncomfortable next to her and didn't dare to look at her. This afternoon, she told me how proud she was. But, in the end, I didn't do what she wanted me to. She must have been so disappointing.

"Yoohyeon, look at me." She said, lifting my chin with her fingers. "I'm not mad at you, don't worry. I know how hard it was, but you tried at least. And Minji knows she almost lost her girlfriend, she will probably be more careful from now. I hope it will get better between you two." She softly smiled at me.

"Thank you for understanding." I said, hugging her tightly. "And thank you for always being here for me, I'm really grateful for that."

She left a soft kiss on my cheek and pulled back from the hug, passing me and opening the door of her room.

"No problem, little one. Good night." She smiled one last time before entering in her room and closing the door.

"Good night." I whispered back, even if she couldn't hear me anymore.

I headed back to my room and climbed quietly on my bed, since Sua was already sleeping. Now that I clarified things with Minji, I didn't know how it was going to evolve, but I was looking for it, for a better future for us.

**********

After that day, Minji was really careful with what she said and did, even stopping her training from time to time to spend some time with me. And I was more than grateful for that, it was the first time that she was treated me this well during a promotion, it felt really good. With this, she proved that she could be the best leader and the best girlfriend at the same time.

Finally, our comeback arrived and 'You and I' went out. And honestly, it was the best comeback I ever did. The fans loved our title track and the whole album and we were going from performances to TV shows and interviews every day. But the best thing about this comeback was the end of the day, when I knew two arms were waiting for me at the dorm. Being able to live my idol life and enjoy my love life at the same time made me so fulfilled.

During one of the fansign, I fell during the performance and didn't dare to stand up, so ashamed of myself, but Minji came to pick me up and reassured me, giving me enough confidence to continue. She was really the best thing that happened in my life and I was so glad I didn't break up with her that evening.

After a few weeks of promotion, we left for the Bingo Music Festival in Vietnam and we were all so excited. It had been so long since we left Korea to see our foreign Insomnia! During our 4-hour flight, I couldn't keep my excitement and shared it with my members by jumping everywhere and talking nonstop until Minji took me by the hand and made me sit to rest with her for the rest of the flight.

After a few hours, we finally arrived at the hotel. Sua and Siyeon decided to take a room together while Dongie, Yubin and Gahyeon took the 3-person room to let me with my girlfriend. We quickly unpacked and left right away to the concert hall. Luckily, I was the first to get my make up done so I could just chill and try to calm down a little bit. When Minji, who was the last one to be prepared, was ready, she gathered us and took a serious expression.

"Girls, today is a really important concert, we have to be perfect." We all nodded. "The fans will be everywhere around the scene so even if you think you're hidden, you're not, keep that in mind."

"Don't worry, bunny, we got this as always." Siyeon reassured her with a smile, trying to relax her.

"No, not as always, that's the problem." She said, looking at me.

"Wh-What do you mean?" I asked.

"Last time was a fan meeting so it was okay to fall, but today, you can't do something like that."

"B-But, I didn't fall on purpose, you know that!... Right?"

"Yoohyeon, we can't afford a mistake like that in such an important festival, try to focus." She said, looking straight into my eyes. And that stare was scaring me, what she just told me felt more like a threat than anything.

And as always, Siyeon's hand found its way to mine and squeezed it lightly without taking her eyes off of Minji.

"Unnie." She called with a low and menacing voice. "Careful."

"Siyeon, I'm the leader, I'm saying that for the group. We can't do any mistake of this kind here. You wouldn't want to disappoint the fans, Yoohyeon, right?" She said, standing and looking down at me since I was on a chair.

I was looking at her, speechless. I was frozen by her words, did she really think I was going to disappoint the fans? How could she bring back the fall? She knew I didn't fall on purpose, especially since I hurt my knee. I knew that this day was a really big event but she didn't have to act this way. Honestly, this behavior scared me, I felt pressured by her power, suffocated almost, as if I couldn't do anything against her.

"Dreamcatcher, it's your turn in two minutes." Said a staff member.

We stood up and followed him, my hand still in Siyeon's, trying to find a safe place since mine was gone. A few minutes ago, I was so excited about this performance but now, I could only feel stressed and anxious. If I failed again, Insomnias would be disappointed, but mostly Minji and I didn't want that. As we got closer to the scene, my heart was beating faster and faster, threatening to pop out of my chest. I had to be perfect and not make any mistakes, for Insomnias, for Minji.

**********

After 10 minutes, we had finished our performance and headed back to the changing room, proud of what we did. As Minji wanted, we were perfect and didn't do any mistakes.

"Good job everyone!" Congratulated our manager. "To celebrate this success, you are all invited to the restaurant tonight!" At those words, all the staff and members exclaimed with joy, big smiles on their face.

"Hum..." Siyeon interrupted them. "It's really nice of you but I can't. With Yoohyeon, we already planned a chill evening at the hotel watching movies. And you know how she is, those evenings are sacred to her."

What? What was she talking about? We never planned something like this. But as soon as I looked at her in the eyes, I understood. She did that for me, to offer me a nice and calm evening away from all my problems and I was more than grateful for that.

"Hyeon, you're not coming with us?" Minji asked with a sad tone.

"No." I answered faster than I wanted to. But I couldn't break again for her. "I wanted to do this with Siyeon for a long time." I lied.

"Okay, I understand." She looked around her and came to me, caressing gently my cheek. But her touch only burnt me and I could still see this scaring stare she had a few minutes ago, even if she was softer now. I couldn't take this look out of my head, this look so menacing, so hurting. "See you tonight." She said pecking my lips. I wanted to pull back but I didn't want to look suspicious so I just let her do whatever she wanted to do. I wouldn't have been able to stop her anyway, she had always been stronger than me, I couldn't do anything against her. And above all I didn't want to piss her off and see this look again.

"Let's go, Yooh." Siyeon said, taking my hand and pulling me far from Minji. "I will drive us at the hotel, you can go to your restaurant directly." She said to the others, walking away. I waved goodbye at my members and the staff we met and followed her outside, climbing in her car.

"So, which movie do you want to watch?" She asked me as she closed the door of the driver seat.

"Were you serious about that?" I chuckled.

"Of course! But I don't have a lot of movies on my computer so maybe we can find a video club to rent some DVDs."

"Or we could be delinquents and watch movies on illegal streaming websites?" I smirked.

"Oh my god, who are you? What did you do to my innocent puppy Yoohyeon?" She laughed.

"Enough!" I laughed, playfully hitting her shoulder. "Should we go now? We can stop by a fast food to buy something to eat in front of the movie, no?"

"Yes, good idea! Chicken wings, wait for us!" She said as she drove us away.

**********

In the end, we chose to watch a rom-com that Siyeon liked. The main couple was really cute, she was a badass business woman while he was a young employee really clumsy at expressing his feelings. After two hours and half, the movie finished on their wedding where everyone was happy and found the love of their life.

"Do you want to watch something else?" Siyeon asked.

"Sure! Another rom-com?" I asked cutely with my best puppy eyes.

"Everything you want!" She answered searching for some movies of this type. "Why do you like this much this kind of movies though?"

"I don't know, it's cute?" I said, looking at her. But she was staring at me, as if she wanted to say something but didn't dare. And of course, I knew what she wanted to talk about. "Please, don't start with that." I sighed.

"Start with what? I didn't say anything!" She defended herself, raising her hands.

"But you were about to do it!"

"I can't deny that I thought about it but this evening was to make you forget your problems so, no, I wasn't going to talk about it!" She raised her voice a little. "But if you want to confide in me about your feelings, I'm always here to listen to you." She said with a soft and reassuring voice.

"It's just... no, it's nothing." I sighed, remembering what happened earlier that day.

"You felt scared maybe?"

Just the memory of this stare and those words gave me goosebumps and made me feel uncomfortable and almost unsecure. I lightly nodded, looking down, I felt ashamed to be scared of my girlfriend, since I was supposed to feel the opposite.

"Yoohyeon, I won't tell you anything because you already know what I think."

"Yeah, that this relation is toxic, that it's only hurting me and bla-bla-bla." I said in a nonchalant tone.

"Yoohyeon..."

"Yes, I know!" I suddenly raised my voice. Of course, I knew it. Minji was the reason of most of my pain and she hurt me like no one ever had, but I loved her more than anything and I couldn't imagine my life without her. So, the only thing I could do was ignore this feeling and just enjoy what I could enjoy in this relationship. "But I can't break up with her, she's my everything... but you can't understand..." I said defeated. That was probably the reason why she was against us, she didn't know what it was to truly love someone.

"Well, I can understand. I also found the love of my life, Yooh. So that's why I can understand how hard it must be to stop this relationship, but yours is just killing you, it's not giving you anything good."

"You... you have someone?" How come I didn't know? And how come I never noticed? Was she never going on date or meet this person outside?

"Yes, I have someone." She smiled. "But, it's not the subject now. I'm trying to help you here. So, tell me what you feel about all of that, you know you can tell me everything."

"I..." 'I know how to take care of myself, I don't need you.', 'Let's break up', 'Why are you so selfish? If we don't train enough, we will finish like Minx, and it will be all your fault!', 'You wouldn't want to disappoint the fans, Yoohyeon, right?'. All these memories flashed through my mind one by one, making my heart tightened as if something was crushing my chest. "I don't know what to do anymore, Siyeon. I'm so lost..." I admitted, fighting my tears.

"It's okay, Yoohyeon, you can let go." She said, hugging me tightly. "Tell me how you felt this afternoon."

"I felt... I don't know... unsafe? Vulnerable? I felt like a prisoner of her, of her power, as if I could do nothing against her. I was afraid she would hurt me and... her look was so threatening." I sobbed, trying to hold my tears, but it was too hard, my cheeks were already wet.

"I see. And after the performance, when she was softer and kissed you, what did you feel?" She asked, gently caressing my hair.

"I was still scared and I couldn't forget this stare. Her touch burned me and I didn't dare to stop her from kissing me, I didn't want to piss her off and make the scary and threatening Minji to come back." I explained, blinded by my tears now flowing.

"Yes, I understand. Do you think you could face her now? Do you want to sleep here? I can ask Sua to change room with you if you want."

"No, it's okay, unnie. I will just try to fall asleep before her return." I said, wiping my tears with the sleeves of my sweat.

"Alright, so you're leaving now? Text me if you need anything, okay?"

"Yes, I will." I said, kissing her cheek and pulling back from the hug. "Good night, unnie. See you tomorrow." I waved goodbye, leaving the room.

"Good night, Yoohyeonie." She waved back her hand.

I lazily went back in my room and took a brief shower before lying down on my bed and covering myself with the blanket. But I didn't even have time to turn off the lights that the entrance door opened. Oh no, she's back. I quickly turned to the other side, back facing her and prayed she wouldn't talk to me. But my fears came back and, at that moment, I regretted not accepting Siyeon's offer to sleep in her room.

Luckily, she went straight to the bathroom and I heard the water flow, she was probably taking a shower. So it let me enough time to fall asleep. But as hard as I tried, it was impossible, I tried to close my eyes and empty my head but it didn't work. I couldn't fall asleep in a place where I didn't feel safe, I couldn't do anything about it. And as time passed, I became more and more anxious at the thought of her coming back.

I can't sleep here was what I concluding in the end. I stood up from my bed, wanting to go to sleep in Siyeon's room but suddenly, I realized. Silence. I couldn't hear anything, not even the water of the shower flowing. When did she finish? Shit, she was about to come out at any moment, I couldn't risk her seeing me leaving, she would ask me questions. I ran to the bed and buried myself under the blanket, trying to find the same position I was in a few seconds ago. And at that moment, the door of the bathroom opened. My heart was beating so fast, I could even hear it in my ears. And it became even worse when I felt her climb on the bed and put her arms around my waist, spooning me. I was now shaking uncontrollably under her touch, trying to hold my breath.

"Hyeon, are you okay? You're shaking like crazy, are you cold maybe?" She asked, gently caressing my bare arm. "Oh my god, you're so hot! Yoohyeon, wake up please, look at me!" She said, pulling on my shoulder to try to make me face her. But I fought back, not wanting to meet her scary stare again. "Okay, don't move, I come back."

At those words, I felt her leave the bed and go to her suitcase, searching for something. I then heard the door of the bathroom open and the water flow for a few seconds. She then came back and gently pulled my shoulder once again. But, this time, I let myself go. It was useless to resist anyway. I turned to lay on my back and met her eyes, full of concern.

"Oh, you're awake? I'm sorry I woke you up." She said, placing a wet cloth on my forehead.

"I'm okay, unnie, don't worry." I said, taking away the cloth from my face.

"Unnie?" She asked, surprised. Shit, whenever I felt a distance between us, I used honorifics without meaning to, and she knew it. "Is there something wrong?" She asked, worried. But not the same kind of worry as before. This time, she was concerned about our relationship.

"No, there is nothing wrong." I lied, looking away. Of course, I wasn't going to tell her that I was scared of her.

"Please, Hyeon, tell me. I hate to see you uncomfortable around me. If I did something wrong, please, let me know, so I can fix things with you." She pleaded me.

But the only answer I gave her was the silence. It wasn't because I didn't want to answer but because I didn't know what to say. How was I supposed to tell her that I felt unsafe around her? Suddenly, her arms hugged my waist and she looked at me with puppy eyes.

"Please, Hyeon, tell me. I promise I won't get mad." She looked so cute, so harmless.

"I..." I didn't know what to say. I tried to make myself as small as possible between her two arms, all curled up on myself, my hands crossed on my chest. At that moment, I just wanted to disappear far from this world.

"Yes?" Minji brought me back to reality. I met her eyes one more time, but this time, I didn't feel scared or threatened.

"It's just... this afternoon, I was a bit startled by your... seriousness?" I tried to find the good words. But as soon as I answered, I felt her embrace loosen up.

"Were you... scared of me?" She asked softly.

"I... yes." I whispered the last part, looking away.

"Hyeon, you know I would never hurt you, right? You are the most precious thing in my life and I love you more than anything. I admit I was too harsh on you today, I'm so sorry about that, I didn't mean to scare you, I promise." She apologized, gently caressing my cheek.

But, once again, I stayed silent. A new promise she was telling, I didn't know what to think about it. Every time she did promises, it didn't end well. Why would it be different this time?

"Also, I'm really sorry I didn't see it after the performance. Now that I think about it, you froze when I kissed you, and the excuse Siyeon made should have alerted me. I was so blind to have not seen it earlier, I'm so sorry for that..."

"No, don't be sorry for that, you couldn't know. Plus, I tried to hide it so it's normal you didn't realize it."

"But I should have, I'm your girlfriend, it's my job to understand your feelings without words. And I was really stupid to put so much pressure on you when I knew you would be perfect, as always."

"Not as always, you said it yourself."

"I was talking nonsense. You always give your best and even more than that. Don't you remember the state you were in after your fall? You were crying because you though you disappointed the fans while you should have worry about your wounded knee. I was really stupid to tell you those things today, especially when none of them were true. I truly regret what I did and I want to make it up to you. But it's probably too soon for you.."

Her saying this with her sweet voice and gentle hand on my cheek calmed my heartbeat. Plus, I couldn't see any sign of threat in her eyes anymore, only concern and kindness. I got closer to her and hugged her tightly.

"I love you, Minji." I said, wanting to let her know that, no matter what we went through, I would still love her.

"I love you even more." She said, hugging me even tighter.

We stayed like this for a few minutes in silence, just enjoying each other's embrace. Siyeon was right, this relationship was more than toxic, but that was those little moments of happiness that made me stay with Minji.

"Do you want to sleep now?" She asked.

"Yes, let me just take a sweater and we can sleep." I said, pulling back from the hug and sitting on the bed.

"Are you cold? Wait, let me get it for you." She smiled, standing up and taking one of her soft sweaters in her suitcase. "Put your arms up." She said, putting herself the sweater on me. She quickly adjusted it, took my hair out of the hood and quickly peck my lips. "Here you are, princess!" She smiled widely at me.

"Yaaa..." I pouted.

"What is it?"

"You gave me just a peck." I cutely crossed my arms on my chest, pretending to be mad.

"Do you want more?" She chuckled. I strongly nodded. "Okay, everything you want." She said as she cupped my face with both of her hands and went for a sweet kiss. She slowly moved her lips on mine, waiting for me to answer her kiss. Even in this, she was so respectful, waiting for me and not pressuring me in things I didn't want to do. I kissed her back and little by little deepened the kiss, trying to take control.

"What are you doing?" She chuckled, still on my lips. "You want to take the lead?"

"Maybe." I smirked, gently biting her bottom lips. She slightly opened her mouth to let my tongue enter and welcomed it with hers. Our tongues were dancing in perfect sync, as if they were meant to meet each other. I could feel how sweet and passionate she was in this kiss, putting all of the love and concern she had for me. She, who usually took the lead let me drive her tongue where I wanted at the pace I preferred, showing me she was willing to give me control when I wanted. And this attention made me totally forgot the thoughts I had before of me being a prisoner of her power. Just with a kiss, she could understand me and made me feel safe, and that was one of the many reasons I loved her.

It had been so long since we had a moment like this, kissing each other without fearing that someone would surprise us. In fact, we never were in a private place just the two of us to be able to freely express our love. Outside, we could meet fans or journalists who would cry out in scandal or just people passing by who would be disgusted by two women kissing. It was the first time we had a moment for ourselves. And I knew the next time we would have this kind of moment would be in a long time. So, it was my only chance to show her how much I loved and trusted her.

While we were kissing, I put my hands on her waist, letting them slip under her shirt and gently caressed her bare skin with my thumbs. At that move, I heard her let out a quiet moan, but it was enough to make me smile, she liked what I was doing. We continued to kiss, my hands analyzing every little detail of her waist, before I let go of her lips to focus on her neck, placing a few kisses everywhere. But, at this, she pulled back and looked at me straight in the eyes with a serious expression.

"Hyeon, what are you doing?"

"I... I'm ready." I shily smiled at her.

"A-Are you sure? I don't want to pressure you, if you don't want to, you don't need to."

"But I want to do it, I trust you."

"Okay." She smiled widely, kissing me again. And without leaving my lips, she laid me down comfortably on the bed, gently putting herself on top of me. "Yoohyeon, if there is anything you don't like or you just want to stop, you don't hesitate to tell me, okay?"

I nodded, putting my arms around her neck and kissing her passionately. She really was the best thing that happened to me. No matter what we will go through, Minji, I will always be by your side.

**********

The next morning, I woke up late, feeling my body all sore as if I did a 3-hour work out session. Without opening my eyes, I extended my arm, trying to find the reason of this. But no matter how hard I searched, I could only feel the sheets under my finger. Where is she? I opened my eyes and saw nothing but the emptiness.

"Minji?" I asked, sitting with the blanket still on my naked chest.

But the only answer I received was the silence. So she really left me alone in this cold room?

"Minji?" I tried again, but a bit louder. But still no answer.

I took my phone and saw that it was already 11:35 a.m., so she probably left long ago. But she didn't even text me to tell me she was leaving. I opened the message app and went on the discussion I had with her.

"Hey love, I just woke up. Where are you?" I typed before sending. And after a few seconds, the little view symbol lighted up, meaning she saw my message, but she didn't answer. I couldn't deny that it hurt me a little but she was probably busy.

I laid back down and scrolled a bit through my phone, waiting for her. And after 15 minutes or so, the entrance door opened and Minji entered in the room.

"Oh, hi Minji!" I said happily, standing up in a hurry. But I quickly calmed down when I felt my body hurting like crazy. So I stood up careful, surrounding the cover around me and going to her. I got closer and leaned toward her to have a morning kiss but she stopped me, looking down. I was a bit surprise by her move, especially after the night we had, but at that moment I was more worried about her. She was looking at her feet and seemed defeated, what happened to her? "Minji, are you okay?" I asked, placing my hand on her cheek.

But she suddenly grabbed my wrist before I could touch her. She then slowly raised her head and looked at me deadly serious.

"Let's break up."

What? Break up? Why was she saying this, suddenly? It couldn't be true, right? Or... did I disappointed her? I wasn't good enough last night? Many questions were popping in my mind, making my heart beat faster, and I had the answer of none of them.

"W-What do you mean by 'break up'?"

"It's finished between us, Yoohyeon." She was so emotionless when she said that, not breaking the eye contact with me.

"Is it because... I wasn't good enough last night?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady but failing miserably.

"No." She answered coldly, not saying anything else.

"Then tell me what is it!" I raised my voice a little. It couldn't be true, she was probably joking with me, she had to be joking with me.

"I don't think you're ready to hear it. Just accept it, Yoohyeon." She said, going to her suitcase and packing her things. "I'm changing room with Siyeon, she will join you in a bit."

"Tell me now, for god's fucking sake!" I yelled at her, feeling my tears escaping my eyes.

"I'm done with you, Yoohyeon!" She said, standing up and facing me.

"Wh-"

"I played enough with you. Now, I did what I wanted to do, so I'm done. I used you enough to have fun but it doesn't go any further. So let's break up." She repeated.

She... used me to satisfy her wills? I couldn't believe it, how many times did she tell me that she loved me more than anything? Was it just acting?

At that moment, I felt my heart stop. My vision became all blurred and I felt the strength in my legs leaving me, heavily falling on my knees and collapsing on the floor. My tears were flowing like they never did and my ears were ringing. My heart was killing me, I just wanting to pull it out of my chest and it was started to get hard to breathe, as if someone was crushing my lungs and blocking my throat.

The next thing I felt was two arms sitting me on the floor and hugging me tightly, caressing my hair. But I couldn't calm down and I felt like dying, until another pair of arms arrived and took over the other. It was Siyeon, she was rocking me gently and whispering reassuring words in my ear. I couldn't really understand what she was saying but still, it was enough to calm me down. I just did a panic attack.

**********

After that, I couldn't look at Minji in the eyes without feeling my heart burning. I loved her more than anything and she was just playing with me and lying to me just to manage to have sex with me. I felt so dirty and so weak. Even the support of our insomnias couldn't bring me any joy anymore.

But time has passed and I forgave Jiu. Well, not forgave but let say I put our old relationship in the back of my head. And of course, I couldn't call her Minji anymore, it was reminding me all the happy moments I once had with her, thinking she truly loved me. However, Jiu was my leader and our couple 'Jiyoo' was one of the most popular, we couldn't just ignore each other. So, I acted as if nothing happened between us and she did the same.

But this break-up affected me more than anything. After my panic attack, Siyeon took me a few times to a doctor to check my health. If it wasn't for the members, I might have fallen into depression and done something irreversible. But from the start to the end, they were with me, helping me to move on. I also had a lot of trust issues, thinking that I wasn't worthy of being loved and that it was why Jiu did that. But Sua was always here to scold me and give me many reasons of why I was so incredible and deserved to be loved.

After a few months, I was finally able to act 'normal' around her. I never stayed in a room alone with her but I could do some fanservice in front of cameras for fans. At first, I was a bit uncomfortable hugging her and holding her hand but after some time, it became almost natural.

But despite everything I did to move on, my heart was still beating only for her.

Chapter Text

Minji's POV:

Today:

"Have a good evening, Yoohyeon. And if you need anything, don't hesitate to call us, okay?" Siyeon said while putting her shoes on.

"Yes, of course! See you tonight, unnie!" Yoohyeon waved at her.

It was now 6:30pm and we were waiting for Siyeon to be ready to leave the apartment. In 30 minutes, Taehyung was going to arrive to have a date with the love of my life so saying I was heartbroken was an understatement.

I looked at her one last time before she was officially to someone else. She was so pretty, nervously waving goodbye at us and jumping from one foot to the other. She was wearing a pretty short she spent 20 minutes to choose and her favorite top. But to see her wearing this top made my heart tighten, I remembered her wearing it when she was still mine, during dates, trainings and outings or just while sharing an ice cream, just her and I. At that moment, I just wanting to break the promise I did to Siyeon and Sua and run to her to tell her how much I loved her and wanted her back again.

The entrance door opened and the members left one by one, it was my last chance. Was I really going to give up on her that easily, just for a promise I made? Was I really going to let a stranger take my position? No, I couldn't let that happen. Fuck the promise, I had to win her back. I walked towards her with a confident step when a voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Minji, come quickly." Sua told me from outside of the apartment.

No, I couldn't do that. I played too much with her heart and hurt her like no one ever had, I didn't deserve her forgiveness. I looked at her one last time, giving her a weak smile, before following Sua outside and closing the door behind me.

"You did well, Minji, I promise." The main dancer reassured me, gently patting my back. She then took my hand in hers and pulled me far from where my heart wanted to be. "Let's go, we have an evening to enjoy!"

Even if the members were all excited to hang out together, I couldn't share their excitement. I just wanting to go back inside and take Yoohyeon far from this world, to keep her only for myself.

"So, where do you girls want to go?" Siyeon took me out of my thoughts.

"Where you want! But I need a big beer, right now!" Answered Gahyeon.

"Oh my god, our maknae is growing up!" Dongie laughed, opening the entrance door of the building and letting us out.

"Yeah, I need some alcohol too." I mumbled.

"Ya, Kim Minji! Don't you dare get drunk tonight!" Sua scolded me. "Wait for me a few seconds." She said as she let go of my hand and walked toward a nice car parked in front of the dorm.

Of course I knew whose car it was. The person I hated the most in the world, as selfish as it could be. He was here to steal Yoohyeon from me and I knew I couldn't do anything about it, I was powerless. He was so perfect and, unlike me, he deserved her. He was able to make her happy without hurting her even for a second. He was the charming prince she always dreamed of and I was the evil witch.

After a bit, Sua came back with a smile and grabbed back my hand.

"I think he will make her happy." She smiled.

"Yeah, I really need alcohol." I sighed.

But this time, Sua didn't say anything and just squeezed my hand to let me know that she was here for me if I needed some comfort.

**********

After 15 minutes of walking, we arrived in front of a nice bar, famous for having a VIP room for celebrities. We quickly showed our ID card and proved that we were Dreamcatcher to enter in the private space. Inside, there were already some persons, but I didn't want to talk to anyone and went directly to the bar, ordering a few shots of vodka.

"Just arrived and you already start drinking. What would she think of this?" Sua sat next to me, ordering a beer.

"She would think of Taehyung." I sighed, taking a shot.

"Minji..."

"I know you asked me to be happy for her and support her in her decision but it's too hard." I said, burying my face in my hands.

"Yes, I understand. But Taehyung is helping her to move on, and once she would be done, it will be your turn."

At that moment, a light turned on in my head. Sua knew many things about Yoohyeon that I didn't know and what she just told me gave me some hope.

"She didn't move on yet? So she still has feeling for me?" I asked looking straight into her eyes, trying to read her expression.

"No, that's not what I said!"

At that answer, my head fell in disappointment. Of course, how could she still love me after everything I've done to her? I took another shot and drunk it in one go.

"But don't worry Minji, you were just not meant to be. You will find someone for you."

"No, that wasn't the problem. The problem was that I was a real bitch with her. I'm just the worst girlfriend ever and I feel sorry for my next partner... if I ever have one again." I said defeated, taking another shot.

"Don't say that, you know it's not true. It's probably strange to say, knowing you're a leader, but maybe you weren't a good combination. Like, you leading your relationship wasn't the best idea, you see? I think you should find someone who can take care of you like you take care of us, someone with whom you can forget your leadership responsibilities and let yourself be carried."

Was it really what I needed? If that was the case, I didn't have any chance with Yoohyeon anymore, because I knew that she would never behave this way, that wasn't her. She was just a cute and innocent puppy who needed to be taken care of. But I knew that Sua was right, I didn't know how to lead a relationship and that was probably what destroyed us. So, someone who could take care of me wasn't a bad idea after all. But I wasn't going to give up on Yoohyeon that easily, even if she wasn't mine anymore.

"I-" I wanting to answer but I was cut by a masculine voice behind us.

"Hi there, I didn't know I would meet you girls here tonight!"

I turned around with my eyebrows frowned wanting to punch the guy who interrupted this talk when I realized who it was, Kai. He was looking straight into my eyes with a warm smile and an empty glass in his hand.

"Oh, yes." I answered with a shy smile.

"I see you're all here! Siyeon is enjoying the dance floor, Handong and Dami are chilling on the sofa and Gahyeon is drinking a big beer at the bar. How old is this kid? Is she even allowed to be here?" He chuckled. "But where is Yoohyeon? I don't see her anywhere."

At this reminder, my heart tightened. No, she wasn't here, she was in the arms of someone else. I wanted to answer but my words were blocked in my throat, refusing to let me express myself. So Sua answered for me.

"She's at the dorm, we let her the apartment for the evening!" She explained without giving any details.

"Lazy to come, I understand." He nodded, even if what he understood wasn't the truth, unfortunately. "Anyway, I came to fill my glass, it's already empty, haha. Would you like to take a drink with me?"

"Hum... sure, of course." I answered, looking at Sua.

"Oh well, have a drink you two, I would like to dance a bit with Siyeon, it's my favorite song!" She lied. I looked at her desperately, begging her not to leave me alone but she just waved goodbye at me with a smile and left to the dance floor.

"So, what do you want? My treat!" He offered with a smile.

"I don't care, I just need something strong."

"Ouch, something bad happened?" He asked. "Wait a second, I will go take our drinks."

He went to the barman and ordered our drinks but after 2 minutes or so, he went back with two fruit juices, handing me one of them. I looked at him, confused.

"I think talking is more efficient than alcohol."

"Orh." I growled, taking the glass from his hand.

"But I don't force you, of course." He specified.

"It's just... a stupid love problem." I sighed, playing with the straw of my juice.

"You're hurt because Taehyung is stealing Yoohyeon from you, right?"

My eyes widened, how did he discover this? One of the members told him? I looked around me, checking if any other celebrities heard him. But luckily, no one was listening to us. I stood up and took his hand in mine, guiding him far from the crown to a sofa in a corner of the room.

"How did you-"

"I'm not blind Jiu. I saw how you looked at her when she was with Taehyung and how cold you were to him."

"I..." What was I supposed to tell him? I couldn't tell my life story to a stranger, that was crazy. But strangely, I felt safe with him. So much that I didn't even realize that I was still holding his hand. I pulled it back quickly, trying to hide my red cheeks. Why was I even blushing? That was stupid, I didn't even know him.

"Are you upset because he's stealing one of your members or because... you have feelings for her?" He asked in a soft tone.

I couldn't understand him. From the outside, he looked cold and rude but, in fact, I was kind and caring. And strangely, I felt like I could trust him.

"I... second option." I murmured the last part.

"Yeah I understand, she's really incredible." He nodded.

"Please, don't tell me you're also into her." I said, regretting telling him how I felt.

"No, I'm not don't worry." He chuckled. "She's all yours!"

"No, she's not. She's all Taehyung's." I sighed.

But strangely, he didn't answer and stayed silent. I looked at him and saw he was lost in his thoughts, probably trying to understand my situation. We just met and still, he was giving his best to help me in my plight. Why was he so caring toward someone he didn't even know? I didn't have the answer to this question but I was grateful for his help.

"Why..." He started. "Why don't you fight for her if you like her?"

"Because I don't have any chance."

"Nonsense, you're amazing, you have everything you need to make her fall for you!"

"Not with what I did to her." I defended myself before realizing what I just said. Crap, I was just telling him all my life story little by little. But he made me feel so comfortable and safe that it came out all by itself.

"So something happened before between you. Want to talk about it? Maybe I could help you with that after. But I'm not forcing you of course." He said with a soft voice, looking at me with a reassuring smile.

"It's a long story, I don't want to bore you with it." It was true. After all, why would he waste time listening to the problems of a girl he worked with for two weeks?

"No, you're not boring me at all, Jiu. You just look really hurt and heartbroken, and I want to make your pretty smile come back on your face." He said making me chuckle. "Here, look how beautiful it looks on you." He smiled at me.

"Okay, you convinced me." I agreed. "But please, don't hate me when I'm done."

I didn't know why, but I felt like I needed him to be by my side and help me. We just got closer and I didn't want him to run away from me because of what I did.

"Of course, I won't." He said, taking my hand in his.

His hand was so big that it could completely surround mine and it made me feel safe, protected. I even surprised myself thinking of what I would feel with his arms around my body, shielding me from the world. But I quickly chased this thought from my head, ashamed of it. Get your act together, Kim Minji.

"Okay, I will tell you." I said, taking a deep breath. "It all started 9 years ago..."

Chapter Text

Minji's POV:

December 2016:

"Hey Minji, it's Yoohyeon... your girlfriend." She chuckled awkwardly through the phone.

It had been two months since the last time I saw her and I missed her so much. Two months since I abandoned them in their misery, running away like a coward. I was the worst leader they could have and, because of me, their dream of becoming successful idols vanished. I was so ashamed of myself, seeing where I led them and deciding to go back home to my parents, not answering them anymore to give them a chance to forget me and live a better life without me.

But it was easier said than done. Siyeon was talking to me by message at least once a week, remembering me our friendship and happy moments we had together and sending some pictures with that. Sua was giving me news about each member, telling me that she was taking care of them but needed me back as their leader. And Yubin was also texting me a lot, saying how much she missed me and was lost without me. And honestly, it was so difficult to not answer them and just ignore their messages. But it wasn't the hardest.

Yoohyeon was calling every single day, asking me some news or just telling me about her day. But sometimes, she was calling me, crying and pleading me to comeback to her. And that was the hardest thing, not being here for her when she was suffering. At those moments, I just wanted to take her far from this world and protect her from everything that could hurt her. But no, instead of this, I was totally ignoring her and making her suffer even more.

"I just wanted to let you know that the girls and I will debut again with a new group concept and new members. And... hum... we all miss you a lot, we want you as our leader again. We need you Minji... I need you, so badly. Anyway, I hope you are doing fine and you are happy where you are. Your happiness is the most important thing and I would understand if you didn't want to comeback. Take care of you Minji. I love you."

Her daily voice messages brought me so much joy and comfort. Every day, it made me want more and more to go back to her, but I couldn't, I didn't deserve it, I didn't deserve her.

But this time, it was different. There were going to debut again and they needed me as their leader. Yoohyeon and the others trusted me. But it was too soon to decide something like that.

Days had passed and Yoohyeon called me back every day, reminding me of the group. But after two weeks, she said something different.

"Hi Minji, it's still your favorite Yoohyeon... I hope. Anyway, today is your last day to come back. Tomorrow, the CEO will start searching for a new leader and honestly, I don't want to be leaded by someone else than you. You are the best leader we all dreamed of and none of us want a replacement. So please, come back, we need you." She said before pausing for a moment. "I will always wait for you Minji, I love you." And she hung up.

My heart was beating like crazy and I was completely lost in my thoughts. Someone was going to take my position? But I thought that Sua was supposed to be the new leader. I knew them, having a new leader was going to create a real mess. Siyeon would never obey to her, Sua would try to protect the kids by putting a barrier and Yubin would just be really cold. Concerning Yoohyeon, she needed a really strong support and proximity with the leader, otherwise, she was going to let the pressure and the stress drown her. And I knew it, it could really break her.

There was no way I was letting someone else destroy their group. I ruined Minx but now, we had a second chance and I wasn't going to abandon them. I had to fix my mistakes.

I quickly packed my suitcase and say bye to my family before taking the first train for Seoul. Dreamcatcher, wait for me, I'm coming back.

**********

'Chase Me' was a great success and the members were more than happy with our new concept and new audience. We quickly built a new fan community and found back our old fans who also enjoyed our new genre. We finally had what we always dreamed of and the best part in all of this was that I could live it with the person I loved the most, Kim Yoohyeon.

"Hey Hyeon, it's almost 9pm, let's go home." I said, entering in the training room.

She looked so focus on the choreography, being careful on every move and every beat. But as soon as she heard me, her face lightened up and she stopped dancing to run to me.

"Minji!" She called, hugging me tightly.

"Ew, you're all sweaty!" I said, feeling her back all wet.

"You don't want me to hug you?" She pouted cutely, pulling back a little from the hug. Gosh, she was so adorable, I was so lucky to have her.

"Of course I want you to hug me!" I answered, hugging her even tighter. "Okay, now let's go, I'm hungry." I said, pulling her by her hand out of the room.

"Me tooooo~~~" She complained, stumbling on every step up to the lobby of the agency, out of fatigue. "But I'm too tired to walk. Can you carry me on your back, please?" She asked with her puppy eyes.

"Sorry Hyeon but I'm too used to those puppy eyes of yours now. I won't fall for it anymore." I chuckled, pulling her to the entrance door.

"Wait! Can I have a kiss, at least? To give me some strength, you know." She smiled cutely.

"Of course, you can, my beautiful girlfriend." I said, cupping her face and giving her a soft peck on the lips. "Now, let's go, the others are waiting for us."

"Okay, let's go." She answered with a smile, following me outside.

**********

'Can I have a kiss, at least? To give me some strength, you know.'

'Of course, you can, my beautiful girlfriend.'

Jaesung, our new manager, was showing me a video he discreetly took yesterday of Yoohyeon and I with his phone.

"Mind explaining this?" He asked, his arms crossed on his chest.

I was frozen, staring blankly at his screen in my hands. How could I be so stupid? I, who usually checked every time, forgot once and it was enough to reveal this relationship I managed to hide for 2 years.

"Jiu, look at me." He said with a soft voice, taking back his phone. I slowly raised my head, meeting his eyes, and was surprised by how tender he looked. "Are you two dating? You can trust me, Jiu." He added with a warm smile.

I didn't know him well since we met not long ago but, at that moment, he seemed really indulgent and almost felt like a father. Plus, it was useless to deny what he filmed, there was no way to prove the opposite.

"I... yes." I answered, looking down.

"Since when?"

"Just before Minx's debut."

After that answer, I was waiting for kind and supportive words to come, seeing how he looked at me a few seconds before. But instead, the only response I got was the silence.

Confused, I raised my head again to look at him but what I saw almost made me jump. His facial expression hardened and had a disgusted look on his face, staring at me from head to toe.

"Who do you think you are to claim her yours?" He asked with a threatening tone. "It's not because you're her leader that you can make her your own. If anything, she's more mine than yours." He smirked.

At that sentence, I felt my blood boil in my veins and I just wanted to punch his face as hard as possible. But I couldn't hurt him, he had something against me that he could use to destroy me but mostly Yoohyeon. And I was going to do everything I could to protect her. So, I just clenched my fists and took the hits, trying to contain myself from jumping on him.

"What would people say if they discovered this? 'Oh, you know those two girls from this unknown group Dreamcatcher? They are two fucking disgusting lesbians.'! Do you really want to destroy the life of your members a second time, Jiu?" He smirked, coming closer to me.

"What do you want?" I asked, between gritted teeth.

"I want fame! Your agency chose me because I am one of thebest artist managers out there. And I know I can become even more famous if I manage to make you stand out but I can't if you continue to make your members stop at 10pm because 'they have to rest'. Do you really think you will succeed if you're that lazy? I want you to stop doing your leader's crisis and push your members even more. And no exception of course, not even for your little sex toy."

At this word, I saw red and jumped on him, raising my fist up to shut his big mouth but was stopped just an inch away from him, as he took his phone out, showing me again the video.

"Jiu, please, you wouldn't really want to do that, right? Remember, I just need a single clip to destroy your seven lives."

Fuck, he was right. I couldn't sacrifice my six members' lives just because he insulted Yoohyeon, even if he deserved the worst for that. I stepped back a little and let my head hang, now fighting the tears. Why was I so stupid? My role was to protect the love of my life but instead, I just made her life even harder. Because of my mistake, she was paying the price, once again.

"I see you understand quickly, that's good." He said, patting my shoulder. "And of course, I don't want to see you kiss her or touch her like this in front of me again, it disgusts me."

He added before leaving the room. But just as he passed the doorway, he stopped and turned toward me.

"Such a waste though, I know a bunch of men who would love to have a nice moment with the two of you. Especially your little girlfriend, really tempting." He smirked before leaving the room.

His last sentence left me totally frozen, even though my heart was beating like crazy. What did he mean by that? Did he was planning to... try anything on Yoohyeon? At that thought, my heart squeezed hard, there was no way I was going to let anybody put their hands on her. I may have complicated her life in an instant, but I would never let anyone hurt her.

**********

After almost a year, the agency put the seven of us in YG Entertainment's show, Mixnine. Unfortunately, only four of us passed the audition. Sua, Dongie and Gahyeon were really disappointed but secretly, I was relieved, because it meant a lot less stress for them. Jaesung put a lot of pressure on me and had really high expectations, he wanted us to stay in the top 20 from the start to the end. So, when Yoohyeon went from the 9th place to the 34th, I had to fight for her not to be alone with him. With the pressure of the last comeback, the show and the future tour in Brazil, getting yelled at by our manager was going to break her. Plus, there was no way I was letting both of them alone, remembering what he told me that day. He never tried anything on her but it wasn't a reason for me to lower my attention. Last time I did so, I allowed a psychopath to take our fate in hostage. But protecting her meant that he had to scold me instead, yelling at me that I was a useless leader and repeating me that I was a disgusting dyke. But, even if I was doing this for something good, it affected me more than I wanted and being treated so badly by my manager and having to lead a group of girls I barely knew in such a big competition made me completely lose my mind. So much that, when Yoohyeon came to have a moment with me, I went too fast with her and almost forced her to do something she didn't want, feeling really guilty after that.

And as if it couldn't get any worse, the mid-term evaluation went terribly and our coach didn't hesitate to destroy our work and humiliate us. At that moment I felt like given up and run away but I couldn't do it, I already did this mistake with Minx. Plus, I couldn't lose against the boys, especially with what they told us in front of everyone, Manny cursed in front of us and Byeongkwan looked at us as if we were less than nothing. I wanted to prove them wrong and for that, I had to work harder than ever.

"Unnie?" Yoohyeon called me, as she entered in our training room, a few days before the big day.

"Yoohyeon? What are you doing here?" I asked, just finishing to perform Boombayah once again with my team.

"I need some advice for my vocal performance. Could you come with me for 5 minutes to help me, please?" She was holding her hands in front of her and seemed... hesitant? Was she shy because of the other girls?

"Sure. Girls, you can take a break, I'm coming back in 5 minutes." I told to my team before joining Yoohyeon at the door.

She took my hand in hers and guided me to another training room, before closing the door behind her and leaning on it, as if she didn't want me to leave.

"Okay, now put the music on and sing, I have to go back quickly to my training." I said, thinking about the time I was giving her instead of my girl team. Ever second was precious in this show but I couldn't risk Yoohyeon losing or getting bad results to be yelled at by Jaesung after. I had to focus on my own training and push Yoohyeon to give the best of herself. But it was easier said than done.

"I'm sorry, Minji, but I didn't really need any help in fact..."

"What? Then why did you make me come here? You're wasting my time!" I said, a bit rougher than I wanted it to be. I didn't know what she wanted, but she was wasting both of our time. At this moment instead, I could have been training hard with my team and she could have done the same. She didn't know it, but every time she didn't give the results Jaesung expected, I had to stand for her and take the hits instead of her.

"Ryujin told me you always skipped lunch and didn't take good care of yourself." She explained with a concern look.

"I'm okay, don't worry. And it's only for a week-" I tried to reassure her but she cut me before I could finish.

"Yes, for a whole week! You can't continue like this, Kim Minji, you're destroying yourself! What do you think Sua unnie would say if she knew?" Sua, one of the only persons I could break with and with who I could tell everything. But mainly, she was the only who always dared to scold me when I didn't take care of myself or did things I could regret later. She was so essential to my life and I knew I couldn't do anything without her. But the way Yoohyeon just talked about her reminded me the time when she took my leader's place. I felt like Yoohyeon just pushed me on the side to give more power to Sua and I hated that.

"Don't you dare scold me, I'm still your leader for all I know. And I know how to take care of myself, I don't need you." I raised my voice on her.

I quickly realized what I just said and was about to try to fix it when I was left speechless by a threatening wolf stare entering in the room. I was frozen under her black stare and even had difficulties to swallow.

"Do you really think you can treat your members like that?" She scolded me with her low scary voice, not breaking the eye contact. "You're treating her like shit while she's trying to help you!" She raised her voice, going to Yoohyeon and hugging her tightly as if she was trying to protect her from me. My heart clenched thinking that Yoohyeon could see me as a threat when I loved her more than anything.

"No, I-" I tried to defend myself but was cut by Siyeon.

"You just told her you didn't need her! Do you imagine what she's feeling right now? She's your fucking girlfriend, unnie! You just told your girlfriend you didn't need her!"

She was right, I really fucked up this time. How could I say that to the love of my life, knowing how fragile her heart could be. Second after second, I felt more and more guilty, hating myself more than ever, especially when I saw Yoohyeon trembling uncontrollably in Siyeon's arms, blinking her eyes a lot, probably to keep herself from crying.

I took a few hesitant steps toward her, wanting to take her in my arms and tell her how much I was sorry and loved her but she suddenly detached herself from Siyeon's embrace, running out of the room, tears in her eyes.

"No, wait-" I tried to run after her but Siyeon put herself in front of me, blocking the way out. "Let me talk to her, I have to see her!" I pleaded, trying to push her to the side, but in vain.

"Unnie, do you really think she's in a state to talk right now?" She scolded me, putting her hands on my shoulders to calm me down.

"But I need to tell her-"

"How sorry you are? No, try to act instead of speak. Yoohyeon is so in love with you that, no matter what you will do to her, she will forgive you. But it doesn't mean that you're not hurting her. Can't you see how much you're destroying her?"

At that sentence, my heart tightened and I was frozen, speechless. I loved her more than anything and I always did everything I could to protect her, how could I 'destroy' her? It was impossible, she looked so happy when we were together, there was no way I was making her suffer that much just because I was harsh once with her.

"No, I have to talk to her. Let me see her." I tried again to gently push her to the side, but this time, her reaction was more aggressive. She pushed me back violently, forcing me to take two big steps backwards.

"Unnie, open your eyes! Can't you see how toxic your relationship is?" She yelled at me.

"Fuck you, Siyeon! That's my relationship, you don't know anything about it! So don't you dare scold me!" I yelled back at her.

"Really? Then, who do you think is hugging a crying and heart-broken Yoohyeon almost every night? You maybe? No, it's me! I'm trying to fix the mess you're creating."

What? Yoohyeon was suffering that much... because of me? Why didn't she talk to me about it? At that moment, I thought back at the predebut Yoohyeon who was crying every night and didn't want to talk to me about it because she was scared of me. A few seconds ago, she also looked terrified, trembling in Siyeon's arms. Was I really the reason of her pain?

"Do you really think this relationship is... toxic?" I asked with a hesitant voice, looking down.

"Can't you see it? You're so cold with her and when she's asking for some attention, you're just pushing her away."

"But... I'm giving her attention. We often sleep together and..." I tried to think of something we did just her and I not long ago but nothing came to my mind and it made me feel so guilty. The only thing I was thinking of was trainings, where we weren't even just the two of us. I could only remember us as a member and her leader.

"Honestly, when was the last time you slept together? Nowadays, she's only sleeping with Yubin and Sua. You only have couple moments when you want to. As if you were using her, taking her when you need some comfort and then throwing her away. Can't you imagine how she's feeling right now?"

My heart was burning like hell, how could I be that selfish? I spent so much time trying to protect her and the members from Jaesung, making them work harder and harder, that I forgot to take care of her as I should take care of the girl who gave me a reason to wake up every morning. I tried to be the best leader for my members but forgot to be the best girlfriend too, and now she was paying the price.

"Fuck..." I mumbled.

"Unnie, just know that, no matter what will happen between you, she will always forgive you but will continue to suffer. So stop being sorry and show her that you really are. But if you can't assume your leader role and girlfriend role, don't be selfish and let her be happy." She said, gently patting my shoulder.

"Okay..." I lightly nodded, my heart beating as fast as if I ran a marathon. "C-Can I go to see her now? I would like to know what she's feeling to try to fix things with her... I don't want to lose her..."

"Yeah, I understand. You can go if you want but please, be really gentle with her, you know how fragile she is."

"Yes, I know, thank you Siyeon." I said, hugging her tightly before releasing her and going out of the room to search for the love of my life.

I started to look everywhere but finding her was harder than I thought, she was probably hiding somewhere. But I quickly found where she went when some other trainees told me they saw a girl running with tears in her eyes. It hurt to know that I was the one causing those tears but at least I was going to do everything I could to fix our relationship. And after 15 minutes of searching, I finally heard a familiar voice, it was Yoohyeon.

"When we were still Minx, she always refused to spend time with me because 'she didn't have time' for me. And when I had the occasion to be with her, she was so cold with me and looked... bored? Even today, I tried to help her and she yelled at me saying she didn't need me." She explained, still sobbing a little.

What I just heard froze me. I was making her suffer since Minx, even before Jaesung? Fuck, how come I didn't see anything? And leaving her without any news for two months mustn't have help at all. But why didn't she tell me anything? Was she really scared of me? Realizations started to hit me hard as I felt guilt invading me more and more.

But who was she talking to? I regained control of my body, forcing my legs to take me at the corner, to have a better view of what was happening. But what I saw almost made my heart stop. She was sitting on a bench, holding hands with a boy who was looking at her with a lovely smile on his disgusting face.

"You can let go, Yoohyeon, I'm not here to judge you. I can understand why she wants to be strong in front of you. But, you're right, rejecting you like this is not right." He said. At that moment, I saw red and walked angrily toward them. Was he really criticizing me when he didn't even know anything? "But who am I to judge her? I'm just sorry for you and your members, I-"

"Yes, who are you to judge me?" I cut him, ready to jump on him and shut his big mouth.

Yoohyeon's eyes widened as soon as she saw me and she quickly pulled back her hands from his, standing up in front on me. She was about to say something but the boy cut her, standing up and bowing deeply to me.

"I'm sorry, Jiu-ssi, I didn't mean to criticize you or the way you lead your members." He said, not raising his head. Jo Yonggeun, the leader of HNB, couldn't he go for other girls? Why did he have to take my girl away from me?

"Leave. Now." I ordered, not looking at him but at Yoohyeon instead, trying hard to not jump on him and choke him.

"Y-Yes, goodbye Jiu-ssi, goodbye Yoohyeona." He bowed again and waved at Yoohyeon. 'Yoohyeona', really? How close were they? Was she really cheating on me with this useless guy?

"Minji, I-"

"So, I let you a few days alone because I have to work and what are you doing? Flirting with the boys of the agency?" I scolded her, feeling so angry but mostly hurt. I knew I wasn't the best girlfriend but I didn't deserve to be cheated.

"No, I-"

"I just caught you holding hands with a guy and talking shit behind my back! What are you searching for, Kim Yoohyeon?" I yelled at her, feeling my throat tightening from the emotion.

"Minji, let me explain, I-"

"There is nothing to explain. I work hard for Dreamcatcher, training days and nights, and what does my girlfriend do to help me? Wasting my time and go have fun with other people? I don't give you enough time, I'm sorry, but I can't be a good leader and a good girlfriend at the same time. It can't work well together." I said, remembering what Siyeon told me. She was right after all, I couldn't be perfect at both, I had to do a choice. And I knew I didn't deserve Yoohyeon, I had to let her find someone better, I couldn't hold her back.

"W-What do you mean?" She stuttered.

"Let's break up." I finally said, fighting hard to not let the tears fall. I couldn't look weak in front of her.

She was frozen, her eyes getting more and more watery second after second. What did I do? For two years, I was destroying her heart little by little and now I just finished the job, completely breaking it. I was really the worst, how could she love me that much when I didn't deserve it?

But as hard as I tried, I couldn't keep my tears inside and just broke down, running away from her. I hated myself so much for what I did to her. I quickly went to hide in my room and sent a message to Ryujin, asking her to continue the training without me. And I cried, more than I ever did, suffering like I never had before and hating myself more than ever, trusting Siyeon to take care of Yoohyeon as she deserved.

**********

But the following week was worse than hell. I missed her so much but I didn't deserve to even look at her, she was like a real golden sun while I was just mud and dirt, killing myself in training. I couldn't stop thinking about her and had difficulties to focus on my work. Her absence in the position she used to have in my heart affected my leader skills and it couldn't happen when I was going to comeback to Dreamcatcher. Without her, I felt so empty, not even able to find passion in dancing and singing, worrying Ryujin. Luckily, she managed to make me focus again, reminded me of my responsibilities toward the group but I didn't feel like myself anymore, I missed half of me.

The performances came and I was more serious than ever, ready to shut the boys' big mouths. And that's what we did, we won against them. But unfortunately, it wasn't the case for Yubin, Siyeon and Yoohyeon, and this fail didn't help her. I even heard her cry alone on the floor of her training room, but I didn't dare to comfort her. I was part of her pain after all. But I couldn't hold it any longer, I had to fix things, I couldn't stay away from her anymore. And luckily she accepted my excuses and agreed to go back to where we were, even if Siyeon hated this idea.

After a few days, we left for our tour in Brazil and honestly, it was one of the best things I ever lived before. I was able to meet our international fans, discover a new country and enjoy all of this with my beautiful girlfriend. We even had the opportunity to try they local ice creams and we loved it. I didn't realize how much I missed those moments until now, just her and I, sharing an ice cream. That was what made me the happiest.

But reality hit hard when we came back and had to work for our new comeback, under the directions of Jaesung. Plus, his expectations were higher than ever with the success we had on Mixnine and I couldn't disappoint him, not wanting to risk the career of Dreamcatcher by the revelation of Yoohyeon and I's relationship. So I worked as hard as I could, not even realizing that I was hurting my girlfriend again.

"Love?" She asked, entering in the training room while I was doing the 'You and I' choreography alone once again.

"Hey, Hyeon!" I called her, not stopping to dance. I couldn't stop training, knowing Jaesung was waiting for me to do any little mistakes to remind me how disgusting and useless I was, but at the same time, I had to show Yoohyeon I cared about her, remembering what she said to Yonggeun.

"Do you want to do a break and come to eat an ice cream with me?"

"No, thanks, I don't have the time for this." I said, trying to focus on the choreography I was doing.

"R-Really? You don't even have 15 minutes for your girlfriend?" I saw her pouted cutely out of the corner of my eye. Gosh, she was so adorable, if only I could stop everything and just enjoy an ice cream with her. But unfortunately, I couldn't.

"Not now, Yoohyeon, I'm busy. This evening at the dorm if you want."

After this suggestion, I was expecting to hear an exciting puppy telling me something like 'Okay, see you tonight!' or 'I can't wait!' but instead, the only answer I got was the silence.

"Don't you remember what happened the last time you pushed me away for a training?" She asked after a few seconds. She was talking about Mixnine and I knew exactly where this discussion was heading.

"It wasn't the same, it was a survival." I tried to calm things down because, otherwise, it wasn't going to end well.

"Yes, but you are doing exactly the same."

"Right now is more important Yoohyeon. For the survival, we were going to leave anyway!" I raised my voice a little, coming to her now that the song was finished.

"So, you're telling me you broke up with me... for nothing?" She asked, trying to keep her voice steady. Why was she so dramatic?

"Don't be ridiculous, you know it's not that."

"Then explain to me what it is! I just want to have a fucking ice cream with my fucking girlfriend! Is it too much to ask?" She yelled at me, now on the verge of crying.

Hearing her yell at me like this angered me more than anything. I was doing everything I could for her and she was just treating me as if I was the witch of the story. I was just trying to save Dreamcatcher but she was making it so difficult.

"Why are you so selfish? If we don't train enough, we will finish like Minx, and it will be all your fault!" I shouted back at her.

But I quickly regretted what I just said, especially when I saw her defeated look and tears in her eyes.

"Okay... I understand... I'm sorry..." She whispered with a broken voice, leaving the room.

"No, wait Yoohyeon, that's not what I wanting to-" I started to say, following her but she started running. I tried to run after her but suddenly, a masculine voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Kim Minji!" I stopped right away, seeing Yoohyeon running out of the agency, sobbing loudly. At that moment, I just wanted to follow her and hug her tightly but I knew the consequences it could have and I couldn't risk it. "Waw, this one was really good! 'Why are you so selfish?', must have hurt like hell." He chuckled, coming to me with a smirk. I just wanted to rip it off of his face and run to Yoohyeon but I had to control myself.

"It's my personal life, it has nothing to do with you or the group." I said between gritted teeth.

"Really? So you think the mental state of this poor puppy won't affect her performances? I knew you couldn't take care of her correctly, she needs someone better for that, maybe a real man."

This fucking threat again, what did he mean by that? But I didn't have the time to think about it as I saw red and felt my blood boil in my veins.

"Stop that!" I yelled at him. "I know how to take care of my girlfriend and, I swear, if I see you laying even one finger on her, you will regret it." I threatened him.

"You think so? Let me doubt it. What would you do?" He mocked me, still with a smirk on.

"I-"

"Anyways, if her capacities are affected, you will hear about me and I advise you to be careful." He stared at me with a black look. But I didn't care right now, I had to find Yoohyeon. I ran out of the agency but was once again stopped. "Jiu! Where do you think you're going? It's not time to leave, go to train!" He said strictly, leaving upstairs in his office.

**********

Luckily, Yoohyeon forgave me once again, but I felt like she wanted to break up with me. Siyeon was right, I had to start to change my way of acting with her, saying sorry wasn't enough. So, during the whole time of preparation for the comeback, I really paid attention to her, giving her time almost every day and being interested in what she was feeling. And at the same time, I tried to not upset Jaesung. Honestly, it was the hardest preparation I ever did, juggling my personal and professional life. But at least, I was doing a good job and I could see how happy was Yoohyeon and her smile was the only thing I needed.

The comeback went pretty well and the fans really loved our new album and title track. But Yoohyeon's clumsiness got the better of her and made her fall during a fansign. She was so ashamed of herself and just stayed on the floor, trying to keep her tears inside. I knew her, she was probably scared to disappoint the fans and to disappoint me. But at that moment, I was just worried about her. Our assistant manager came to check on her and hid her for a few seconds behind a banner to help her release the stress, letting a few tears out. After a bit, she came out and pretended to be okay in front of the fans, even if I knew she wasn't.

At the end of the fansign, we quickly waved goodbye to our Insomnias and went back to the changing room. And, as expected, Yoohyeon broke down.

"Hey, it's okay Hyeon, you did nothing wrong." I tried to reassure her, hugging her tightly.

She hugged me back and cried loudly in the crook of my neck until a doctor came to check on her. Luckily, she had nothing serious. But she still hit her knee pretty badly and needed a few days off, to rest a bit.

"Yoohyeon, I want to see you in 15 minutes in my office at the agency. Hurry." Jaesung ordered coldly, looking at her from head to toe. The same disgusted look he had for me when he reminded me my sexual orientation. And those discussions always finished by 'Yoohyeon would be better with a real and strong man', so there was no way I was letting him see her alone.

"No, she has to rest, the doctor said it himself." I stood up between them. "She's going back home. If you have anything to say, tell it to me, I'm her leader."

He was looking at me with a black look, probably ready to yell at me and humiliate me in front of everyone. But he contained himself and took a deep breath.

"Okay, follow me. Now."

I quickly placed a kiss on Yoohyeon's forehead and followed him outside. This time, I couldn't refuse this, I probably angered him enough. I ran to catch up with him and entered in the inner courtyard of the building. He took a cigarette out and lit it, taking a long sip before spitting out the smoke.

"What was that?" He asked angrily, killing me with his eyes.

"What are you talking ab-"

"Do you think you can decide who I can yell at? Who do you think you are?" He said waving his cigarette a few inches away from my face.

"But she was hurt and just broke down, you-"

"Bullshit, you're just trying to protect her from me. But do you really think I'm the bad one in this story, Jiu? I'm trying to help your group here. You are the one preventing them from the success they deserve. Besides being useless, you're also a burden for them."

"I..." I didn't know what I could answer to that. He was right after all, I was blocking the whole group by trying to protect a stupid relationship. But this stupid relationship was one of the most important things in my life and I couldn't let go of it. I was just selfish and the members were paying the price for this.

"At least, try to be useful once in your life. I don't want anything like this to happen again. Do what you want I don't care, next time she messes up, she will deal with me directly. Is that clear?" He added.

"No, I can't let that ha-" I tried to say but was cut by a sudden pain in my shoulder.

"I said, is that clear?" He repeated, sticking his still-lit cigarette into my flesh, making me walk backward until my back hit the wall behind me.

"Yes, yes, it's clear." I quickly answered, not able to hold the pain anymore.

"Great! Now, go back to the agency to train a bit more with your members, I know you can do better. And I give Yoohyeon a half-day off, she goes back to training tomorrow morning." He added before going back inside, leaving me alone with a burning shoulder and a burning heart.

Fuck, how was I going to handle this?

**********

After a little more than a month, we left for the Bingo Music Festival in Vietnam and we were all so excited, it was the first time we were going to perform our new song 'You and I' in front of our international fans. As soon as we arrived there, we quickly went to the hotel to unpack our stuffs and left right away to the concert hall.

The girls finished to prepared themselves one by one and, once I was done myself, I gathered them to have an important talk.

"Girls, today is a really important concert, we have to be perfect. The fans will be everywhere around the scene so even if you think you're hidden, you're not, keep that in mind."

"Don't worry, bunny, we got this as always." Siyeon tried to reassure me.

But she couldn't know why I was so serious about it, she couldn't know that Jaesung was waiting for us to do any little mistakes to destroy her, and my shoulder still remembered it. So I had to push them to give their best without telling them why, I couldn't put them into this mess, I had to handle this alone, to protect them from him.

"No, not as always, that's the problem." I said, looking at Yoohyeon. She was the one I was really worried about, because I couldn't do anything for her anymore, next time, she was going to deal with Jaesung and I was scared of what could happen.

"Wh-What do you mean?" She asked.

"Last time was a fan meeting so it was okay to fall, but today, you can't do something like that."

"B-But, I didn't fall on purpose, you know that!... Right?"

"Yoohyeon, we can't afford a mistake like that in such an important festival, try to focus." I tried to motivate her.

"Unnie, careful." Siyeon said with a threatening tone, taking Yoohyeon's hand in hers. Why did she always have to interfere when I tried to do my leader's job?

"Siyeon, I'm the leader, I'm saying that for the group. We can't do any mistake of this kind here." I defended myself. But at that moment, Jaesung entered in the room, arms crossed on his chest and stared at Yoohyeon without taking his eyes off of her for a second. I had to quickly find a way to motivate her or it wasn't going to end well. "You wouldn't want to disappoint the fan, Yoohyeon, right?"

"Dreamcatcher, it's your turn in two minutes." Said a staff member, interrupting us.

We stood up and followed him, Yoohyeon's hand still in Siyeon's. I hoped everything was going to go well, otherwise I wished Siyeon could protect her because I couldn't anymore.

**********

After 10 minutes, we had finished our performance and headed back to the changing room, proud of what we did. And as planned, we were perfect and didn't do any mistakes.

"Good job everyone!" Congratulated Jaesung. "To celebrate this success, you are all invited to the restaurant tonight!" At those words, all the staff and members exclaimed with joy, big smiles on their face. Of course, nobody knew his real personality, he was playing the nice and generous manager that everyone liked. But at least, it meant that nothing was going to happen tonight and that I could just enjoy this evening with the staff and the members.

"Hum..." Siyeon interrupted them. "It's really nice of you but I can't. With Yoohyeon, we already planned a chill evening at the hotel watching movies. And you know how she is, those evenings are sacred to her."

What? My roommate and my girlfriend weren't coming with us? But I even wanting to take Yoohyeon out after the dinner, to have a moment just the two of us.

"Hyeon, you're not coming with us?" I asked a bit disappointed.

"No." She quickly answered. "I wanted to do this with Siyeon for a long time."

So she preferred spending time with Siyeon instead of me, her girlfriend? I was a bit sad but I could understand. In Korea, every time she had some time to hang out, it was always with me so it was normal to want to have an evening with a friend.

"Okay, I understand." I said. I quickly looked around, checking if Jaesung was somewhere but he wasn't there, probably out smoking. "See you tonight." I said with a smile, pecking her lips.

"Let's go, Yooh." Siyeon said, taking Yoohyeon's hand and pulling her to the exit. "I will drive us at the hotel, you can go to your restaurant directly." She said to the others, walking away. Yoohyeon waved goodbye at us and followed Siyeon out of the room.

**********

Honestly, I spent a really good evening, chatting happily with the staffs and the members and enjoying the food of the Japanese restaurant we chose. But it felt strange to not have Siyeon and Yoohyeon around, even Sua could feel their absence. So as soon as we finished, we thanked everyone and went back to the hotel.

But however, the Yoohyeon waiting for me in the room was a scared and trembling Yoohyeon, moved by my behavior of the afternoon. That was why she wanting to leave with Siyeon a few hours ago, she was scared to spend a whole evening with me. Every time I hurt her, I promised myself to be a better girlfriend but I always found a way to do worse than before. Nevertheless, I was able to reassure her and make her understand how much I loved her. She was everything to me, there was no way I was going to harm her.

And once again, she reminded how important I was to her and how much she trusted me, even suggested to go further in our relationship. Honestly, that was the best night I ever lived, not because I was finally making Yoohyeon mine, but because I could show her how much I loved her and at the same time, I could feel the trust she had in me. She made me feel as if I was the most beautiful person in the world and the way she looked at me made me completely fulfilled. She was really the only thing I needed in my life and nothing could ever take her from me.

But reality hit hard and I was soon going to discover that all good things must come to an end, even the ones we try to keep at all costs.

**********

The next morning, I woke up around 10am, feeling a weight on my chest. Yoohyeon was peacefully sleeping on me, her face hidden in the crook of my neck and her arms around my waist. Waking up with her next to me like this was the best thing I could wish for and seeing her beautiful face first thing in the morning was the best view I could get.

With some difficulties, I managed to gently move her to the side, putting the blanket on her naked body and admired her for a few more minutes. She was so beautiful, every little features of her face were a bless. I couldn't help but to put my hand on her face, following the shape of her jaw with the tip of my fingers. Why did I do to deserve a goddess like her? I slowly leaned in and gently touched her lips with mine before standing up to go to the bathroom. If only I knew it was the last time I was able to kiss her.

I entered in the bathroom, took a quick shower and did my skin routine before going back to the room, reaching for my phone on the bedside table. It was already 11am, I must have spent too much time admiring my beautiful sleeping beauty. I went to my notifications and saw I had one message unread that Siyeon sent me this morning at 10:23am.

'Hey bunny, did you sleep well? Please, join me in my room as soon as you see this message, Sua and I need to talk to you about something really important. And come alone, no need to bring Yoohyeon with you, let this poor puppy sleep a bit more.'

Damn, she sent this message more than half an hour ago, saying it was important. I took one last look at Yoohyeon and left the room, heading to Sua and Siyeon's one. I knocked on the door and after a few seconds, a loud little woman opened to me.

"Siyeona, Minji is here!" She yelled, letting me come in.

I entered in the room and was surprised by Siyeon who was doing her bed in a hurry. I looked around and saw that the other bed seemed like it hadn't been used, their suitcase even opened on it, as if it wasn't supposed to be used at all.

"One of you didn't sleep here?" I asked. But then I realized. One bed was undone and the other one looked like a war happened in it. Plus, I noticed that Siyeon and Sua were closer recently than before. I knew what happened here. "Oh no, please don't tell me you did it here." I said desperately.

"W-What are you talking about?" Siyeon stuttered, trying to hide her messy bed.

"I'm not stupid! Unless one of you slept on the floor and the other ran a marathon in this bed, only one thing could have happened!" I raised my voice.

"Yeah, we did it, okay!" Sua admitted, as Siyeon was hiding her face in her hands. "But don't tell the puppy, her innocent soul would be traumatized." At this comment, I wanted to laugh, remembering last night. But I wasn't going to talk about it, Yoohyeon would probably feel really embarrassed if Sua or Siyeon went to talk to her about it.

"No way! Are you two dating?" I asked excitedly.

Sua was about to answer but Siyeon cut her in her tracks, suddenly taking a serious tone.

"Girls please, we are not here to talk about it." She said, inviting us to sit. Sua took place next to her and I went on the neat bed, facing them.

"So what did you want to talk about with me? It looked urgent." I asked, going straight to the point.

"Break up with Yoohyeon." Answered Sua, almost as an order.

"Very funny, really." I faked laughed. "I can understand that, as a new couple, you want to be at the center of the group but don't worry, there can be two couples." I chuckled.

"It's not a joke unnie, I'm tired to do your job and take care of her as you should." Siyeon continued.

My smile faded and I started to wonder if it was really true or not. She would never dare to lead my relationship like this... right?

"Okay, that's not funny anymore, stop that." I said standing up, ready to leave their room.

"Minji, stay here, it's important." Ordered Sua.

I could always know when she was joking or not and now, she was deadly serious. So I took a deep breath and sat down, knowing I wasn't going to like what was coming.

"Did you talk to her yesterday evening?" Asked me Siyeon.

"Yes..."

"Did she tell you something?"

"Yes..."

"So you know what you're doing to her. You may love her more than anything, but you hurt her just as much. And even if she forgives you every time, you're destroying her little by little."

I wanted to answer but I didn't know what. She was right after all, I was just a poison love to Yoohyeon. Siyeon already warned me before and, even if I tried to apply her advice by changing my behavior, I kept hurting the one I loved.

"Minji, I know what she represents to you and I promise that you're as important as this to her too. But you have to let her go." Sua added with a soft voice. "Maybe fate didn't want you to be together."

She was right. No matter how hard I tried to change for her, I always ended up hurting her, as if the world was against our happiness. But suddenly, Sua's last sentence made me think about something.

"It's not fate that doesn't want us to be together, it's Jaesung." I said. He was the cause of most of our pain, even if I was the only one who knew this. At first, I didn't plan to tell it to anyone but now, I didn't have any choice, I needed to do everything I could to keep Yoohyeon.

"What do you mean?" Siyeon asked. I knew she was tired of my behavior with my girlfriend and just wanted us to break up, but she was always ready to listen to me and help me. After all, she was my best friend and nobody knew me as well as her.

I took a deep breath and told them what happened with him, struggling a bit to find the good words. I talked to them about the video, the insults and the way he he kept threatening Yoohyeon. I even told them about the cigarette episode.

"I'm going to kill this bastard." Siyeon said between gritted teeth, standing up.

"Wait wolfie, right now is not the time." Sua calmed her down, making her sit next to her. "Minji, I can understand why you did everything you did, and it excuses some things you did to Yoohyeon, but not everything."

"Yes, she's right." Siyeon agreed. "For example, when you said you didn't need her, or when you called her selfish, it had nothing to do with Jaesung."

Fuck, I did everything I could to convince them but even this didn't work, and I knew why unfortunately. I started to hurt her way before, at Minx already so Jaesung was just an excuse.

"Unnie, what he did is horrible, we need to tell this to our CEO." Suggested Siyeon.

"No!" I answered a bit too fast. Now, their eyes were on me, waiting for an explanation and I almost felt pressured by those questioning looks. "I... I can't let that happen. He would be fired and wouldn't hesitate to post the video everywhere online. My career would be destroyed, as well as Yoohyeon's and yours. People would spit on us and call us disgusting dyke, just like him."

"But that's your only chance to save your relationship with Yoohyeon! Without him, you wouldn't have all the stress and pressure he put on you and you could maybe take better care of your girlfriend." Said Siyeon with a hint of hope in her voice. She, who wanted so much to see me break up with Yoohyeon, was now trying to find a solution for me.

"I know..." I lightly nodded. But I really couldn't do that. I was too scared of the consequences, people judging me, humiliating me, insulting me, it was too much for me. No matter how much I loved Yoohyeon, I couldn't let him show my true side to the world and destroy my whole life.

"Minji, you have to make a choice now, your secret or Yoohyeon, you can't have both. And I can see that you already choose." Sua said, gently putting her hand on my shoulder. "But don't be ashamed of it, okay? I can understand why you choose this and I don't blame you, nobody does."

I knew Sua was always right but strangely, I couldn't fully believe her last sentence. Siyeon, who never hesitated to yell at me when I was hurting Yoohyeon was now helping me to finish her off?

"She's right, unnie." She answered to my question. "It's better to free her now that to chain her to you, making her suffer for something she's not even aware of."

After this talk, I knew what I had to do, but it was too hard, to give up on the happiness of my life. Second after second, my heart was tightening more and more and it was getting complicated to hold back my tears. But I did the choice myself, no one forced me. So now, I had to accept consequences.

Suddenly, my phone rang, taking me out of my thoughts. I just received a message from Yoohyeon.

'Hey love, I just woke up. Where are you?'

These few words were enough to make me break down. Fuck, she just opened to me yesterday night, fully trusting me and I was about to destroy her. Was there a monster worse than me? I was now crying uncontrollably, my heart burning my chest more than ever.

Siyeon quickly joined me on my side and hugged me tightly, gently caressing my back, trying to calm me down. But nothing could help me right now, I was choosing my career over the love of my life and I hated myself for that, but I couldn't do anything else. I called her 'selfish' when I was the one choosing herself, breaking others at the same time. I was inconsolable when the worst was not yet over.

"Will you take care of her after?" I asked to Siyeon with a breaking voice, after a few minutes in her comforting arms.

"Of course I will." She answered, gently caressing my hair.

"And... will you help her to move on?" I asked in a whisper. It was so painful to think that she had to forgive me and move on from me when it wasn't even finish yet.

"Don't worry unnie, I will always be here for her... and for you too." She smiled at me. "You are my best friend, Minji, I will always be here for you too. I will help you as much as you helped me since we met each other. We've always been there for each other so I'm not going to stop today" She kissed my cheek a few times.

"Hum..." Sua started. "I know it's really painful to talk about this but we have to discuss the way you will leave her. Except if you want to tell her the truth, but I don't think you want to, right?" My heart clenched at this sentence but I still managed to find the strength to shook my head, my voice being stuck in my throat. "Yoohyeon loves you too much to just accept a simple 'let's break up', you have to find something that will pull her away from you for good. Any idea?"

The only answer I was able to give her was more tears. At the moment, I couldn't think straight, trying to breath properly was already hard enough. But suddenly, an idea came to my mind.

"...Yubin..." I managed to say between two sobs.

"What's up with Yubin?" Sua asked me.

"Wait, let her breathe for a second." Siyeon defended me, hugging me tighter.

"When we were trainees... Yubin tell Yoohyeon that I was a playgirl and just wanted to play with her heart... and Yoohyeon believed it for some times, before she knew what I felt for her." I said, remembering this period.

"Yeah, good idea!" Sua agreed.

"No! Are you kidding me? Do you want to kill her maybe?" Siyeon yelled.

"Siyeon, you know it's the only way!" Sua argued. "We need something really strong to push her away for good, don't you agree?"

"Yeah... you're right..." Siyeon answered, as defeated as me.

"Okay so Minji, you will use this excuse. And try to not break down in front of her, even if it's easier said than done. She needs to believe it. Make it quick and after, come back here with your suitcase, Siyeon will change room with you to help her."

"And also unnie." The wolf-like girl added. "You need to promise us something."

Siyeon and Sua just called me in their room to ask me to break up with the girl I loved the most, to lie to her and now they asked me to make a promise. Honestly, I was scared of what it could be.

"Don't try to go back with her. We will try to help her to move on, but you have to promise not to do anything to make her get back together with you. Even if you think you changed, even if Jaesung leaves, even if she's asking for you. Your relationship is finished now."

As well as me. My heart seemed like it didn't want to work properly anymore, burning and tightening like it never had. If it was what I was causing to Yoohyeon, I could understand why Siyeon and Sua wanted me far from her. But it was still hard to say goodbye to the love of my life, sacrificing her for my career. I knew I was so wrong and so selfish but I couldn't help it. My heart and brain were split in two, even if I knew what I was going to do.

"So Minji, what do you say about that?" Sua took me out of my thoughts.

"Yes... I promise." I agreed, giving up on Yoohyeon for good.

**********

After I dried my tears and came back to my senses, I went back to Yoohyeon and I's room, being welcomed by a smiling puppy.

"Oh, hi Minji!" She said happily, standing up in a hurry. But she quickly calmed down, sitting back on the bed, probably because of her sore muscles from yesterday night. She then slowly came to me, her naked body surrounding in a blanket. This body that was all mine yesterday, felt now so far from me, so out of my reach. And it only made my heart clenched, making it so hard to break up with her. She stopped in front of me and leaned it to get her morning kiss but this time, I couldn't give it to her, I couldn't anymore. And the pain I could read on her face didn't help me. "Minji, are you okay?" She asked, putting her hand on my cheek.

But I grabbed her wrist before she could touch me. Her soft hand on my cheek would just make it impossible to me and I would just break down in front of her. Fuck, if only I could take her far from this world, just her and I, without any problem. But unfortunately, I couldn't and now, I had to destroy what we spent years to build. I raised my head and looked at her in the eyes, trying to show as little emotion as possible.

"Let's break up." I said, trying to keep my voice steady. But it was hard to stay emotionless, especially when I saw her expression, a mix between confusion and pain.

"W-What do you mean by 'break up'?" She asked, stuttering.

"It's finished between us, Yoohyeon." I answered, trying to look unaffected by the situation, when in fact I was suffering as much as her.

"Is it because... I wasn't good enough last night?" She asked again, with a sobbing voice.

"No." I answered right away. Of course it wasn't because of that. She was so amazing, and not because she was hot or anything like this, but because she wanted to show all the love she had for me in every little move. And I was almost hurt that she could think that of me, but in fact, I was going to destroy the image she had of me so it wasn't going to change something right now.

"Then tell me what is it!" She raised her voice and I could see she was fighting the tears, as much as I was.

"I don't think you're ready to hear it. Just accept it, Yoohyeon." I said, trying to avoid the excuse I prepared. Siyeon was right, it was going to break her more than ever. "I'm changing room with Siyeon, she will join you in a bit." I announced, going to my suitcase and packing my stuffs.

"Tell me now, for god's fucking sake!" She yelled at me, now tears falling from her eyes.

"I'm done with you, Yoohyeon!" I said, standing up and facing her. I wasn't going to hold back for long, I had to finish this quickly.

"Wh-"

"I played enough with you. Now, I did what I wanted to do, so I'm done. I used you enough to have fun but it doesn't go any further. So let's break up." I lied, feeling like my heart was about to pop out of my chest in any second.

A heavy silent filled the room and I didn't dare to look at Yoohyeon, to ashamed of what I just said. I went to the exit, pulling my suitcase with me and opened the door, ready to leave. When suddenly, I heard something falling violently on the floor and a person behind me desperately gasping for air. I turned around and what I saw horrified me.

Yoohyeon was laying on the floor, a hand around her throat, completely suffocating. Her face was full of tears and she was trying to take off some nonexistent things from her neck and bare chest. She was all curled up on the carpet of the room, even pushing back the blanket, trying by all means to find some air to fill her lungs.

"Sua! Siyeon!" I called the girls in the corridor, before running to Yoohyeon and taking her in my arms, not caring if I was touching her naked body. "Yoohyeon, please breathe!" I yelled at her, shaking her at the same time, now tears completely blurring my view. But nothing was working as it was getting worse and worse. "Yoohyeon, please don't leave me!" I pleaded her, now hugging her tightly, caressing her hair. I didn't know what was happening to her and I couldn't help but to think of the worst.

"Unnie, get out of here!" Siyeon yelled at me as she entered in the room.

"No, I don't want to let her." I cried, slowly rocking Yoohyeon in my arms.

"Unnie, now!" She repeated as she went to pick up the blanket on the floor and put it around the poor puppy, crouching next to her. "I will take care of her." She added, gently pushing me and taking her in her arms.

I was now sitting on the floor, frozen. Siyeon just needed a few seconds to calm her down and make her breathe again by gently hugging her and whispering comforting words while I was just useless and even created this mess. She was probably right after all, I never brought anything good to Yoohyeon, only pain and stress. She was the one brightening my every day while I was just destroying hers. I hated myself so much for what I did and my heart was punishing me, burning and clenching in my chest, as if someone was crashing it with fire.

"Minji, come with me." Sua softly told me, crouching next to me, her hand gently caressing my back.

I looked at the one whose heart I had just broken a few seconds ago and she wasn't moving anymore, still sobbing a little in Siyeon's arms.

"Don't worry unnie, I will take care of her from now on, just follow Sua." Her savior added, gently carrying Yoohyeon to the bed.

I was a real mess at the moment, not even having enough strength to stand up. Sua put her arms around my waist and help me up, guiding me out of the room. But on our way, we met a proud Jaesung heading to Yoohyeon's room, a smirk on his face. I just lost the war and he knew it.

**********

Luckily, I heard that Siyeon had the time to cover Yoohyeon and didn't hesitate to kick this jerk out of the room, calling a doctor instead. And for weeks, she managed to take care of her like I've never done before. Sua also tried to help me but I didn't deserve anything, I was the one who seriously messed up and I had to suffer alone, I didn't want to be a burden for the other members.

After some time, she started to talk to me again, acting as if nothing happened, as if we never shared this love we only had for each other. And every time she called me 'Jiu', it felt like a stab in the heart, remembering me that I lost her for good. At first, it was so difficult to speak with her as a leader and her member but our idol job forced us to, and the hardest was when we had to act cute together and pretend like we had a special relationship, holding hands and hugging each other. The most difficult for me was to let her go after while she just couldn't look at me without feeling sad or hurt.

But time has passed and she felt more at ease around me, as we started to have normal conversations and even have physical contacts again. And honestly, I missed her hugs more than anything so being able to touch her and sleep with her again warmed my cold heart, even if I knew nothing would ever happen between us again.

But despite everything I did to move on, my heart was still beating only for her.

Chapter Text

Minji's POV:

Today:

"And you still love her?" Kai asked with a soft voice, still holding my hand.

"Yeah..." I answered in a whisper, blinking away tears that threatened to fall.

"Well, that's more complicated than I thought." He sighed.

"No, it's not. In fact, it's really easy even. I just have to let her live her life and find someone who will take good care of her, as she deserves." I looked away.

Every single day, I was thinking back to that period of my life, when it was only her and I. It always hurt a bit, knowing that she would never be mine again. But today, telling this story out loud was worse, reminding me how much I fucked up back then and didn't deserve to still be by her side now.

"You're not going to give up on her just like that, right?" Kai took me out of my thoughts. "Where is this Jaesung guy? Just one word from you and I'm sending him out of the country. And believe me, I will make sure to shut his mouth forever." He said, looking determined.

"No, it's not Jaesung the problem anymore." I chuckled at his behavior. He was as involved as if it was his own story and absolutely wanted to help me. I didn't think he was going to change much my situation with Yoohyeon but at least, he allowed me to open up and I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulder. "Jaesung left the agency a few years ago, he didn't believe in us anymore, if he ever did before at least. Luckily, he never said anything about Yoohyeon and I."

"Then, why don't you go back with her?"

"Because I made a-"

"Promise? Please, don't tell me you're blocked just for a stupid promise."

"It's not a stupid promise." I answered, a little annoyed by this debate that was starting to go in circles. "They were right, this relationship was toxic, and mostly because of me, not only because of Jaesung. The most important thing is for Yoohyeon to be happy, and I know she won't be with me. So I have to let her move on and find someone better."

"Hum... I'm not convinced." He pouted.

"Hi lovebirds, sorry to bother you." Sua smirked, making me jump at her sudden appearance next to us.

"Jeez, you scared the shit out of me!" I scolded her, a hand on my chest to try to calm my heartbeat.

"I know." She smiled proudly. "Anyway, we are leaving with the girls and I'm not a really big fan of letting you wander alone at night. So either you come with us now or I let you here, cutely holding hands with your future husband and he takes you back home when you want."

"Oh, I can take you b-" Kai was about to answer but I quickly cut him.

"I'm leaving now too." I said, taking my hand away from his. I really enjoyed this evening with him and I was really grateful for his help but I wasn't ready to be left alone with a man. Plus, I couldn't wait to see my Yoohyeon again, to know how much I lost her. But guilt quickly invaded me as soon as I saw a hurt look in Kai's eyes. "I... I'm a bit tired, that's why. But we will see each other in Germany anyway." I tried to fix my mistake.

"Yes, I understand." He answered, a sweet smile forming on his face. "Go back to her, it's okay." He knew, of course he knew. After this short evening spent with him, I now understood that he could easily read in me and honestly, it was restful.

"Thank you." I smiled at him, standing up and following Sua outside.

On our way home, she didn't say anything about Kai and I or the fact that she saw us holding hands, but I knew that a lot of things were happening in her crazy mind at the moment.

**********

It was around 11pm when we arrived at the dorm. I climbed the stairs three by three and was on the third floor in less than 15 seconds. I couldn't wait to see Yoohyeon again and hold her in my arms, far from Taehyung's. For once, it wasn't the puppy who was excited to see the owner but the opposite, even if I wasn't anymore.

Unfortunately, I had to wait for Sua to arrive too, she was the one having the keys and I didn't dare to knock. A few seconds after, she opened the door and I was the first one to enter but what I saw broke my heart.

Taehyung and Yoohyeon were sitting on the sofa, glued to each other, her arms hugging his waist and her head resting on his shoulder. She was peacefully sleeping on him, two strong arms around her.

Suddenly, I felt my head spinning and I had to put a hand against the wall to balance myself. How pathetic was I? After all those years, I wasn't able to move on and just the sight of her with someone else was able to made me sick.

"Taehyung, why are you watching the menu of 'Shining'?" Sua asked him, getting closer to them.

The TV in front of them was on and the menu of the horror movie 'Shining' was displaying on the screen.

"Hum... She fell asleep on me before the movie ending. But the remote of the TV is far and I didn't want to risk to wake her up by standing up to get it." He whispered.

At this explanation, my heart ached. Once again, he proved that he was much better than me to take care of her. I remembered her asking me to watch horror movie together but not even once I accepted, too scared of them. Suddenly, a wave of regret got to me, I should have agreed. I would have been with her after all, she could have hold me in her arms and reassure me. But instead, I was stupid and selfish, and today, I regretted it.

"Don't worry, you can wake her up now, I will take her to bed." Sua continued, turning off the TV.

"Hey Yoohyeon, wake up." He said softly, gently caressing her cheek with his hand.

But that was too much for me. I already let them spend a whole evening together in my house. So seeing him touching her like this, his face so close to hers made me sick. I walked to them and kneeled in front of her, putting my hands on her thighs, squeezing them lightly to wake her up.

"Hyeon, wake up." It had been years since I used this name and I knew what it represented but right now, I just wanted to show him that I was closer to her that he would ever be.

"Hyeon?" She asked with a hoarse voice, slowly opening her eyes.

"It's okay, I got her." Taehyung said coldly, pushing my hands away from her and giving me a black stare. He, who usually was scared of me and always avoided my gaze was now challenging me. What happened for him to change like this? "Sua-ssi, I can take her to bed before leaving if you want." He suggested.

"You're already leaving?" Yoohyeon asked, still not fully awake.

"Yes, but don't worry, we will see each other next week." He smiled warmly at her. A smile that put stars in the puppy's eyes but just disgusted me. If only I could rip it off of his face.

"Yeah, you're right." She agreed. "Wait, let me take you to the door at least." She said, standing up. But her half-sleeping state made her lose her balance and trip on her own feet. Taehyung quickly stood up to catch her but I was faster, putting my arms around her and preventing her from falling on the floor.

"You're okay?" I asked, holding her tightly and without breaking the eye contact with Taehyung. I couldn't let him challenge me like this. I was her leader and took care of her for years after all, he couldn't just appear in her life and take her completely away from me.

"Yes, thank you unnie." She pulled away from the hug and gave me a warm smile. And as always, I lost myself in that sweet smile that made me fall so deeply in love years ago. But even after all this time, it didn't loosen its grip on my mind and heart and I couldn't take my eyes off of it, of her.

"Let's go." Taehyung took me out of my thoughts, taking Yoohyeon's hand in his and dragging her to the entrance door, far from me.

She followed him like the good puppy she was and opened the door for him, while he put his shoes and coat on.

"So... I see you next week?" She asked almost in a whisper, trying to hide from us, unsuccessfully. All the members were more silence than ever, listening carefully what was going on. Sua just needed a box of popcorn to be perfect and even Yubin was enjoying the show.

"Of course." He smiled warmly to her, before leaning in and gently pecking her lips. At that moment, I saw red, having difficulties to contain myself, especially when he pulled back and threw me a satisfied look. "See you next week, girls!" He waved at us before leaving and closing the door behind him.

As soon as he was out, I felt like I could finally breath again. But my heart wasn't feeling any better, it even burnt more and more second after second. Those lips that used to be mine were just kissed by someone else and the love of my life just got stolen from me.

"So what happened?" Sua asked excitedly. "I want to know everything!"

Not me though. I was already having trouble holding back the tears and I felt like the air was completely blocked in my throat. Even if she was just in front of me, I missed her so much, I missed the love I could see in her eyes when I was looking at her, I missed the way she was running to hug me every time I appeared, I missed the time I could call her mine. I took a deep breath to recover from my emotions and tried to slip away discreetly to my room but Siyeon was faster and grabbed my arm, preventing me from leaving the room.

"Unnie please, she needs your support now, you can't let her like this." She whispered in my ear.

Once again, she was right. What happened between us was all my fault. She deserved to move on and find someone for her. And seeing how she was staring at me with her puppy eyes, I could understand that my opinion was important to her.

"Sure, tell us how it went." I told her, trying to give her a smile. And I could see how much what I thought mattered when I saw a big smile forming on her face. But just a few seconds after, her expression darkened, as if she didn't know if she should be happy or not.

"Hum..." She started. "When he arrived, he helped me to cook and hum... then we talked about normal subjects and hum..."

"Come on, shorten it!" Dongie pushed her.

"A-And I... kissed him?" She added.

All the members suddenly jumped everywhere, some of them congratulating Yoohyeon and others mocking her, but they were all so happy for her, except me. Knowing that she was the one kissing him first felt like a stab in my heart. A few minutes ago, I was silently fighting with Taehyung over her, but I had clearly no chance against him, he was the one she wanted.

"But I can see it was more than a cute and innocent kiss, dear puppy." Sua smirked, pointing at a hickey on her neck. Jeez, I didn't see it. My heart was beating so hard in my chest, as if it wanted to pop out of it.

I closed my eyes, trying to calm my heartbeat and hold back the tears but pictures appeared to me, Taehyung kissing Yoohyeon and sucking her neck and it became way to hard to handle, making me open my eyes again. At that moment, I just wanted to lock myself in my room and fall in the dreamland, the only place I could be with her as I wanted to.

"Well..." Yoohyeon continued. "T-The kiss got hotter and we l-lost it. But we didn't do anything! As soon as he saw the hickey he did, he stopped. And after, we just chatted a bit and watched a movie when we started to be tired." She explained with red cheeks.

"And now, are you dating?" Gahyeon finally asked. The question I was looking forward to the most but was dreading so much. My heartbeat quickened at the thought and I try to psychologically prepare myself for the impact of her answer.

"No, we're not." She responded. My eyes widened and I stared intensely at her, waiting for an explanation. "I don't really know what I feel for him yet, neither does he, so we would like to take our time to get to know each other."

After this revelation, I felt relieved, even if I knew that it wasn't going to last forever. He was making her happy and I couldn't deny it. The members congratulated her one by one, showing their support to her but I was too lost in my thoughts to do anything, not even noticing that she was staring at me.

"Jiu unnie, what do you think?" She asked hesitantly, playing with her fingers. Siyeon was right, my opinion really mattered to her and she needed my support to fully move on from our previous relationship. Though, I didn't know if she needed my approval as her leader or as her first love.

But at the moment, it wasn't important. She needed me and I wasn't going to disappoint her. I walked to her and put my arms around her, hugging her tightly.

"I'm happy for you Yoohyeon. I hope he will be able to give you what I couldn't." I congratulated her, placing a soft kiss on her temple. Usually, I wasn't the kind to kiss my members like Sua or Siyeon but right now, I had to give Yoohyeon a proper goodbye, even though I finished everything years ago. I was about to pull back from the hug, feeling her frozen between my arms but she prevented me from doing so, hugging me even tighter.

After a few seconds, we finally pulled back from this comforting hug but what I saw caught me off guard. Her eyes were all red and tears were rolling down her cheeks.

"Yoohyeon, you-" I tried to say but she cut me in my sentence.

"I'm going to sleep now, good night unnie." She tried to smile at me, sobbing quietly, before locking herself in her room. I could have stop her and tell her to speak to me but I could see she didn't want to talk to me about what was bothering her, and I wasn't going to force her.

"Don't worry bunny, I will take care of her." Sua reassured me, going to her room. "Good night girls." She added before joining Yoohyeon.

"Good night!" We all answered before Dongie, Yubin and Gahyeon went to their own room, leaving Siyeon and I alone in the living room.

"You did great unnie, I'm proud of you." She congratulated me with a smile, gently kissing my cheek.

I wanted to answer but as soon as I opened my mouth, my words got blocked in my throat and tears threatened to fall. This evening was awful to me, I had to watch a guy kissing the love of my life and had to give up on her for good.

"It's okay, you can let everything out now, I got you." Siyeon said softly, putting her arms around me and gently caressing my back with her comforting hands.

I didn't need her to repeat it as I let out all the frustration and the pain I had to contain this evening, now crying my eyes out. Talking to Kai about my previous love story first felt like a release but now, it only reminded me of my mistakes. And Taehyung was right to challenge me earlier, I made her suffer like no one ever did before while he was making her happy again. He won against me and he knew it. So now, I had to move on from her, but this burning heart in my chest clearly made me understand that it wasn't going to be easy.

**********

One week later, we were leaving for Germany. Our agency preferred to not put us in the same plane as BTS, not wanted us to meet potential sasaeng on board. And honestly, it felt good to be just the seven of us again, without the boys. I really liked to work with them, but since we started this crazy project, spending some moments just with my members was becoming hard. So this short time just between us felt really good. Plus, Yoohyeon sat next to me in the plane, searching for my hand during period of turbulence. At first, I was a bit skeptical, thinking about how I could move on with this proximity, but I quickly put this thought aside, not wanting to let her alone in her fear.

After a few hours of flight, we finally reached our destination and went straight to the hotel. Yoohyeon and Yubin decided to share a room while Sua wanted to be with Dongie. Since Handong came back from China, Sua couldn't let her, even for a second. Her absence of one year had affected us a lot, especially Sua who couldn't stop texting and calling her. So now that she was back with us, the main dancer wasn't going to let her go again. And luckily, Siyeon wasn't jealous of them and was even happy that they were this close. Before her departure, we didn't fully realize how much we loved her and couldn't live without her. So now that she was back, we never hesitated to show her how important she was to us, her and the other members. We even gave the single room to our maknae while Siyeon and I were sharing one.

After a few minutes, BTS arrived at the hotel too and our manager told us that we had a free afternoon. At this announcement, my mind went directly to Yoohyeon, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I quickly put a jogging and a sweater on before heading to her room. Every time we went to the hotel, she always asked me to go to the gym with her and I loved those moments where it was only her and I, having fun together, just like before. So for once, I was going to be the one to offer to go there.

But as soon as I closed my door, I saw her running out of her room with a big smile on her face and knocking on a nearby door. What was she doing?

"Oh, Yooh-" I tried to ask her but someone opened the door in front of her and a masculine voice cut me.

"Hey Yoohyeon, come in!" This deep voice, I could recognize it among thousands, Taehyung.

Fuck, of course she was going to spend time with him, instead of me. I was only her leader after all, nothing more. Suddenly, a memory crossed my mind. That famous night when we did it, was she really ready or was it because she knew we wouldn't have another opportunity to be just the two of us before a long time? And today was the same scenario but in addition, they were neither the same group nor in the same agency which made it even more difficult to see each other. Even if it was none of my business, I hoped it wasn't what they were going to do. She may be already 25 years old, I still saw her as the 16-year-old lost puppy that only I could protect from this world.

After this disappointment, I lazily went back to my room but surprisingly faced a lock door. Jeez, I forgot that Siyeon left shopping with Gahyeon with our room card. This day couldn't be worse, I just saw the girl I loved going to her boyfriend's room to do I didn't know what and was now blocked out of my room. I needed a drink right now, if I wanted to face this long day.

I went down to the second floor of the hotel and sat on one of the bar stools, asking for two shots of vodka to start with.

"Funny, every time we meet, I see you drink at the bar." I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"Just leave me alone." I sighed, taking one of the drinks in one go, not in the mood to play guessing games.

"This one is for me? How cute, you knew I was coming." He completely ignored what I said, sitting just next to me and drinking the second glass I took for myself without even asking.

"Ya! This was for-" I was about to scold him but stopped right away when I saw who it was, Kai. "Oh, it's you. Sorry, I didn't know." I said, looking back at the empty glass in my hands.

"Please don't tell me you're drowning your sorrows in alcohol, that's so cliché." He mocked me.

"Well, looks like I'm ready to live in a K-drama, the king of cliché." I chuckled sadly.

"Okay, let me guess. Yoohyeon is the main character, the pretty and cute girl that everyone wants. Taehyung is the first lead, the guy we all hate but will still end up with the main character. And finally, we have you, the broken-hearted second lead, the one we all love and support but will miserably fail to seduce our cute and pretty girl and end up all alone, right?" I was about to answer but he cut me before I could say anything. "Luckily, your K-drama is different and everyone has a happy ending. The main character and the first lead will do their stuffs on their side while a nice guy will take the poor second lead out to take her mind off things and help her move on. I bet you haven't bought your outfit for the party." He said, swiveling my stool towards him, forcing me to look at him.

"W-What party?" I stuttered, trying to get back to reality. For a few seconds, I got lost in his story and his voice, and even if this story was about the thing that was making me suffer, it didn't do anything to me, strangely enough. As if it was just an insignificant subject.

"I was so sure." He chuckled, congratulating himself with a proud smile. "Our three companies have privatized a party room tomorrow night to celebrate this collaboration."

"Really?! Oh my god, I have nothing to wear!" I started to panic.

"Yeah, I figured out. But we have all the afternoon to ourselves and I also have to buy an outfit."

"Is this the nice guy's way of asking the second lead out, by any chance?" I asked playfully.

"Hum... maybe." He answered with a smirk.

"Then I'm in!" I agreed with a smile. It was crazy how he could make me forget all of my problems in just a few minutes and I was really grateful. After what happened the other night and a few minutes ago upstairs, I really needed to empty my mind and he really helped me a lot with that.

"And maybe after that, we could go for an ice cream together." He offered with a warm smile.

But despite his sweet smile and soft voice, I couldn't help but feel a wave of sadness wash over me. It just reminded me of all the ice creams I refused to Yoohyeon back then. If only I had accepted, maybe she wouldn't be in the arms of another today.

"I'm sorry, it was maybe a bit too soon." Kai took me out of my thoughts. "Let's forget that and let's go. I'm sure we can find good waffles on our way." He added, taking my hand in his and leading me out of the building.

And just like that, we spent the afternoon together, enjoying each other's company. He was really kind, caring and funny, even making me forgot that Yoohyeon was alone in a hotel room with a man I hated. I didn't know how he was doing it, but I was really grateful. Maybe, thanks to him, I was finally going to be able to move on.

Chapter Text

Yoohyeon's POV:

"Hyeon, wake up." A soft voice said in front of me. But this surname felt like an electrical shock, making my body tense up in a second as a wave of memory washed over me.

"Hyeon?" I repeated with a hoarse voice, slowly opening my eyes and falling face to face with a kneeled Jiu at just a few inches from me, her hands gently squeezing my thighs. This proximity suddenly made my heart speed up like crazy, I was so confused, why was she acting like this all of sudden?

"It's okay, I got her." A masculine voice said against me. Gosh, for a second I almost forgot that Taehyung was here with me. But strangely enough, his voice wasn't as warm and reassuring as it was previously. And I quickly understood why when he pushed Jiu's hands away from me. After what I told him, he was probably trying to protect me. "Sua-ssi, I can take her to bed before leaving if you want." He suggested.

"You're already leaving?" I asked, still not fully awake. I felt like he had arrived just a few minutes ago, this evening went by way too quickly.

"Yes, but don't worry, we will see each other next week." He smiled warmly at me.

"Yeah, you're right." I agreed. "Wait, let me take you to the door at least." I said, standing up. But everything didn't go as planned as I tripped over my own feet, falling directly in Jiu's arms.

"You're okay?" She asked, holding me tightly and not letting me go from her embrace for at least a few seconds.

"Yes, thank you unnie." I pulled away, feeling a bit awkward with the 'Hyeon' echoing in my head.

"Let's go." Taehyung said, taking my hand and guiding me to the entrance door.

"So... I see you next week?" I asked almost in a whisper, trying to hide from the members, unsuccessfully. I could feel their intense stares on Taehyung and I, watching us as if they were at the cinema.

"Of course." He smiled warmly at me, before leaning in and gently pecking my lips. His move caught me off guard but I didn't have the time to react that he already pulled back. Why did he kiss me, I thought we were taking it slow. "See you next week, girls!" He added before leaving the apartment, letting me in a confused state.

"So what happened?" Sua asked excitedly. "I want to know everything!"

I was about to answer when I noticed that Jiu was trying to leave to her room. Was she not interested in how my first date went? She, who usually even asked me about my dreams and what I ate at lunch, was now leaving when someone important happened in my life. I couldn't help but feel hurt and sad by this, I didn't know why but I needed her to move on, even if she was the cause of my trauma in love. But before she could go too far, Siyeon stopped her and whispered something in her ear. After a few seconds, the main vocalist stepped back and I was met with an intense stare that had made me tensed up in a second.

"Sure, tell us how it went." She told me with a smile.

I felt like I could finally breathe again, feeling my body relax with it. I didn't know why but I felt like I needed her approval to forget our love story and find someone else. I gave her back her smile, grateful for her support but deep inside me, I was wondering if I really wanted it. Even after all those years, I still hoped that she felt something for me, and that back then, she wasn't just having fun breaking my heart. My smile faded as I got lost in my thoughts but I couldn't let my hopes affect my judgment, she didn't love me, I had to put this in my head, nothing more.

I embarrassingly told them what happened and they all congratulated me, proud that I finally opened myself to someone else. But Jiu didn't say anything. Instead, she was looking down, seeming lost in her thoughts.

"Jiu unnie, what do you think?" I asked hesitantly, playing with my fingers. Why did my situation make her think that much? Was she going to be cold with me again, because I spent some time with Taehyung? She may have hurt me in the past, I still loved her more than anything and I needed her in my life.

At my question, she raised her head and looked at me intensely, without saying anything, what made me anxious. Was she going to scold me for kissing a BTS members? But I didn't have time to worry as she walked over to me and hugged me tightly, making my body relax in an instant.

"I'm happy for you Yoohyeon. I hope he will be able to give you what I couldn't." She congratulated me, placing a soft kiss on my temple. But this move froze me, she never kissed me off camera since that night, so why was she suddenly doing it? It only reminded memories I tried so hard to forget. If only she loved me as much as I did, was it too much to ask? Wasn't I good enough for her?

After a few seconds, she pulled back from the hug but I didn't let her do so, putting my arms around her and holding her tightly. She may have been in my arms, I missed her so much. I missed her calling me 'Hyeon', I missed her soft kisses, I missed her comforting hugs, I missed her telling me she loved me. Why did she have to support my new relationship with Taehyung? Why couldn't she push him away and come back to me?

And without realizing it, I started crying uncontrollably in the arms of the one I wanted the most but would never have. How pitiful was I? Even after all those years, I couldn't move on and my love for her was even growing stronger day after day. But I didn't want her to see how miserable she could make me, even if it was a bit late seeing the expression she had once she saw my tears.

"Yoohyeon, you-" She tried to say but I cut her right away.

"I'm going to sleep now, good night unnie." I tried to hide under a smile and ran to my room, burying myself under my blanket.

Fuck, how stupid was I to think that kissing Taehyung would make me forget my story with Jiu? Everything that happened between us was fake, when was I going to be able to put that in my head? Now, the only think I was doing was using Taehyung and ignoring Jiu, afraid of my feelings. How was I supposed to move on when I lived with her, laughed with her, cried with her? How could I-

"Hey." Sua took me out of my thoughts, removing the cover from my face. "What happened?"

"I... I don't want to talk about it." I said with a broken voice, trying to contain my sobs.

"Okay, as you wish." She answered emotionless, going to her own bed.

"No, wait!" I stopped her right away. I couldn't keep it to myself, I had to talk about it to someone and I knew I could trust her. "C-Can you hug me... please?" I asked, wiping away my tears.

"Of course I can, my cute tall puppy." She answered, climbing into my bunk bed and coming under the cover, holding me tightly in her little but strong arms.

And we stayed like this for a few minutes, me quietly sobbing in her embrace and her reassuringly holding me and gently caressing my hair, waiting for me to calm down a little.

"Was... was I not good enough for her?" I asked with a little voice, between two sobs.

"What? Of course, you're good enough, stop denigrating yourself! Can't you see how amazing you are?" She kindly scolded me.

"Then why did she not love me?" I asked again, feeling the tears come back.

"It's not the question here Yoohyeon. What happened between you is in the past, now you have to move on." She explained. But after a few seconds, she added. "And I'm not the person you should ask. If you really want to know, you should talk with Minji."

"No... I can't." I answered, almost in a whisper. I was too scared to make bad memories come back but mostly, I was scared of what she could say to me.

"Yes, I understand. But now you have Taehyung, he will help you to move on."

"But, maybe I don't want to move on." I admitted. "I love Jiu unnie so much, with all my heart and all my soul. Why can't she love me back?" I felt my tears rise again.

"Shhh, don't think about that now. What happened is in the past, Yoohyeon, you can't let that affect you today. And look at Taehyung, did you see how caring he was with you this evening? I'm sure he can take good care of you."

"I know he can... but I would prefer Jiu unnie, I miss her."

"Even if she was making you suffer?"

It was true, back then, I was suffering a lot when she pushed me away, acted cold with me, or was though on me but I loved her more than anything and just sharing an ice cream with her during a sunny afternoon was making me the happiest girl in the world. And even if all of this was just an illusion, I wanted so much to go back to that. I just needed one look and she could understand what I was feeling, wrapping me in her arms and protecting me from all the bad things in this world. I really liked Taehyung, but I knew it was never going to be the same.

"... yes." I finally answered.

But the only answer I got was a deep sigh from Sua and nothing more. She was just holding me in her arms, gently caressing my hair, probably lost in her thoughts.

"Well, the only advice I can give you now is, get to know Taehyung first, maybe he will be able to help you to move on. But, if you really can't forget Minji and what you feel for her, you should talk with her. I can't speak for her." She said after a few seconds.

"Yeah, I think I will give Taehyung a chance then." I decided, not wanting to face Jiu about that.

After what happened that day, I couldn't even be in the same room as Jiu without feeling the tears rising. It was only with time, work and the help of the other members that I manage to look at her in the eyes again. And today, I could hug her, laugh with her and even sleep with her and for nothing in the world I would have wanted to destroy what we spent years to build.

"Wise choice, puppy." Sua congratulated me. "Now sleep a bit, you must be exhausted after all the kissing and crying."

"Yaaa..." I complained to her joke.

"Ya? How do you speak to your elders? You have to respect me you little brat." She pulled away from the hug and started to tickle me everywhere, making me laugh uncontrollably until I managed to block her with my arms, hugging her tightly.

"Thank you unnie." I said still laughing.

"No problem, you tall tree." She answered, hugging me back before we calmed down a bit, falling asleep after a few minutes.

**********

It was finally the big day, we were leaving to Germany! A few minutes after we arrived at the hotel, I received a message from Taehyung inviting me to spend the afternoon with him since we were free for the day, and I accepted right away. Sua was right, I had to move on and at the moment, Taehyung was the only one able to help me. My story with Jiu was in the past, I couldn't keep hoping that she would come back when, deep inside me, I knew it was impossible, she didn't love me. So I had to forget all of that and open myself to new potential relationships.

'Hey there! I just arrived, room 423. You can join me when you want!' Taehyung texted me.

And without realizing it, a smile formed on my face as his name appeared on the screen of my phone. It was true, I didn't like him as much as I loved Jiu, but he still had the power to brighten my mood in a second. I happily jump out of my bed and headed to the door when a voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Where are you going?" Yubin asked from her bed, without taking her eyes off the book she was reading.

"Hum... I will join Taehyung in his room." I explained, my hand on the handle of the door, ready to leave.

"In his room?! Please, don't tell me you plan to do that already?" She asked, now looking at me straight in the eyes.

"W-What? Of course no!" I answered, blushing furiously.

"And does he know it? He doesn't expect anything from you, right?"

"Are you crazy? Oh my god Yubin, we are talking about Taehyung here!" I said desperately, opening the door to escape from this strange discussion.

"If anything happens, just scream!" I heard her say before the door closed behind me.

I quickly ran to his room and knocked joyfully at the door. I was finally going to have a chill afternoon without thinking of all of my daily problems. But Yubin's worries replayed in my head. She was right, I didn't really know if Taehyung expected anything from me, I had to make it clear with him before.

"Hey Yoohyeon, come in!" He said, opening the door with a big smile and putting himself on the side to let me in.

"Hey! How are you? Excited for tomorrow?" I gave him back his smile as I entered in the room.

"So much!" He answered, coming to me and pecking my lips.

But this move confused me more than anything. Why was he kissing me? I thought we were taking it slow to get to know each other first. Was it because of our kissing session the other night? But when I thought about it, I was the one kissing him first, without even knowing why. I probably missed too much Jiu's lips on mine and wanted something to replace it. But I couldn't continue like this, I was using him like she used me and he didn't deserve this. I had to make things clear with him.

"Oh, funny! Yubin was worried because she thought that we were going to do it now after only one date." I said, testing him.

"It? What do you... Oh!" He asked before turning all red and hiding his face in his hands. "A-And what did you answer?"

"That it was you so nothing to worry about."

"Yeah indeed. I don't know for you but I'm not the type to do it with anyone. I-I'm not saying that you're not special! Wait, what? No, wait..." He started to stuttered, blushing even more.

"Don't worry, I understand what you mean." I chuckled, removing his hands from his face. "And to be honest, me neither. I only did it once, so I can't say I'm really used to it."

"Well, let's say that being Idol doesn't help a lot."

"Yes, you're right."

"But did you say that last time was a... date?" He asked with a smirk.

"D-Did I say that?" Now, it was my turn to stutter and blush.

"Yes, you did." He confirmed with a low and seductive voice, slowly walking toward me and making me step back until I got stopped by the desk behind me. "I agree that usually, you don't kiss like this during a simple evening between friends. That was pretty hot. Unfortunately, I can't remember that well what happened. Would you mind reminding me?" He said, leaning in dangerously with his two hands at each side of me, preventing me from escaping.

Suddenly, my heart started to beat so fast and my head was spinning like crazy. I was trapped and I didn't know what to do to take me out of this situation. If Jiu was there, she would have understood what I was feeling and would have stop right away. But Taehyung didn't notice anything, getting closer and closer to me.

"W-Wait." I finally managed to say, turning my head to the side and putting a hand on his chest, stopping him.

"What? Are you okay?" He asked worriedly, moving back a little bit to let me breathe again.

"Yeah, I'm sorry." I said, grabbing my spinning head with my hand, standing up from the desk and going to sit on one of the beds. "It's just going a bit too fast."

"Hey Yoohyeon, you have nothing to be sorry for. Stop excuse yourself all the time, okay?" He said with a soft voice, kneeling in front of me and taking one of my hands in his. "Tell me what's on your mind."

"It's just... I can't stop thinking about her, always wondering what she would have done at this moment or what she would have say. And I can't forget what I feel for her, it's just too strong. I feel like I'm just using you like she did, but I can't do that, I can't do that to you."

"Don't worry, Yooh, it's okay. We already talked about it, remember? I'm here to help you to move on, you can use me as much as you want, okay? And did you really think that you would be able to forget her just like this? Waw, what an ambitious girl." He gently mocked me, making me smile again. "Come here." He said, pulling me further on the bed and sitting against the headboard of the bed, taking me in his arms. "Tell me Yoohyeon, what do you want from me?" He asked, gently caressing my hair.

"I... don't know." I answered honestly. I didn't even know what I wanted in general. On one side, I wanted to move on and find someone who would truly love me. But on the other side, I still wanted Jiu so badly.

"Okay, your mind is really disordered, we'll have to sort out all these thoughts."

"Easier said than done." I sighed.

"Yes, you're right. But first, tell me what's on your mind. What changed since last time?"

"Her." I let out almost in a whisper.

Why was she suddenly kissing me and calling me like she used to do back then? Plus, I didn't know why, but I felt some tension between Taehyung and her that night. I could understand why he was acting like this, he wanted to protect me but I didn't know why she did this. Was it because he challenged her or was it for something else?

"What do you mean?" He asked, confused.

"After years, she called me 'Hyeon' again, didn't you notice? She only called me this when we were dating. And when you left, she even kissed me on the temple." But just the memory sent chills down my spine. "And the way she was looking at you, don't you think she was... jealous?"

"No." He answered coldly. "Yoohyeon, don't you remember what she did to you? She just used you for her sexual desires and once she had what she wanted, she just threw you away. She can't be jealous. I'm sorry to say that, but she doesn't love you."

I already knew all of that but hearing it out loud felt like a stab in the heart. I loved her more than anything, she meant everything to me and she just used me... to have sex. I trusted her more than anyone but she just didn't care and chose to destroy this chemistry we had built for nothing. Just thinking about that again made me feel so dirty and vulnerable, as tears starting to escape my eyes.

"Hey hey, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." He panicked, wiping my tears away as news kept appearing.

"No, you did well. I'm just too stupid to accept the reality."

"No, of course no! Do you hear yourself? I think you're just too blinded by your hopes. You should try to close your eyes and just let yourself be carried along by the current of life. Who knows? Maybe you will find incredible things on your way." I smiled at me.

"Yes, maybe. It's just... it seems impossible to forget what I feel for her, it's just too strong."

"Yeah, I can imagine." He nodded. "Now let's put that aside and do something fun. What do you want to do?" He asked with excitement, trying to motivate me.

"Can... can we just stay like this for a few minutes... please?" I asked with a little voice. A few moments ago, I rejected him and I was now asking to cuddle with him. It only reminded me when Jiu pushed me away at day and then hugged me tightly when we got back to the dorm. Was I really playing with him like she did with me?

"Of course we can." He said, holding me even tighter in his arms.

"What... what do you feel for me?" I asked after a few seconds. I didn't want to hurt him too much by playing with his heart so I had to check what he felt for me before.

"To be honest, I don't know. Every time I'm with you, I forget all of my daily problems and I feel so... I don't know, safe? Yes, I think you're my safe place. When I'm with you, I feel like nothing could touch me, as if I was invincible, you see? But... I don't think it's love. Not yet at least."

"Yes I see. And I feel exactly the same." I admitted, relieved that we shared the same feelings. "And... I'm sorry... for kissing you so suddenly the other night..."

"Oh my god, Yoohyeon! Stop excusing yourself all the time! And... hum..." He started to blush. "I-I must say that it wasn't that bad."

"You think so?" I laughed at his cuteness. He was just so adorable when he became shy.

"Don't you?" He asked back with a smirk, finding back all his confidence.

"I-I... y-yes." I stuttered, hiding my face in the crook of his neck.

"But don't worry, I won't try again before you're ready. I agree that we went a bit fast, especially since we said that we wanted to take it slow."

"Yes, thank you Taehyung." I said, kissing his cheek. If I wasn't ready to go further in our relationship, at least I wanted to thank him properly. "Should we go?" I asked, standing up and pulling him with me.

"Where?"

"I don't know... eat an ice cream?" I smiled at him. He was right after all, I had to let myself go with the flow without thinking of Jiu anymore.

"Good idea, let's go!" He agreed, putting a cap and a mask on before taking my hand in his and pulling me outside.

**********

The next day was finally the day of the performance and saying that our fans liked it was an understatement. They were shouting our names so loudly, trying to get our attention and their Mongmongie were way higher than the other light sticks. Even the boys' Army were crazy, waving placards in the air and extending their arms to try to touch them on stage. It just felt so good to perform like this in front of so many people again, even if some girls were throwing black stares at me, probably jealous that I was dancing with their 'Oppa'. But their manager warned us about it, telling us that we shouldn't take it too seriously. So we just performed without thinking about that and were welcomed by a wave of applause at the end.

But the day wasn't finished, we still had the party on the evening. Luckily, Sua knew that I would forget about it and bought a nice longue black dress for me. It was pretty simple but I liked it. Only straps held the top of the dress, putting forward my thin neck and well-drawn collarbone and the slit on the left side highlighted my long and exercised legs, making me look taller.

"Yubin, can you help me to zip it in the back please." I asked my roommate as I was struggling with the dress.

"Of course." She agreed, coming out of the bathroom in her nice suit.

"Waw, so handsome." I complimented her with a chuckle.

"Right?" She answered before finishing to fix my outfit. "Done! Are you ready or do you need to do something else?"

"D-Do you think I need to do something else? Do I need to do a special haircut maybe? Or do another kind of make up?" I started to panic, looking at me in the mirror of the room.

"No Yooh, you're perfect! Don't worry, I'm sure Taehyung will find you beautiful like this." She laughed at my behavior.

But I couldn't help but to wonder what Jiu would think of me instead of Taehyung. I knew I shouldn't think about it but it was just so hard, I felt like I needed her to find me pretty, I needed to impress her. I wanted to find back those stars she had in the eyes back at that time.

"Yes... Taehyung." I repeated, trying to convince myself. I had to stop thinking about Jiu all the time if I wanted to have a chance to move on.

"Jiu unnie will find you incredible too, I promise." Yubin added with a soft voice, back hugging me and putting her chin on my shoulder, looking at me through the mirror. Since our debut, we became so close, she could understand me like no one else and she always knew how to help me. She was really my soulmate, always having the wisest advices for me and even welcoming me in her bed when I felt so down and alone. "Now let's go or they will leave without us." She added, moving away.

"Thank you." I said honestly, putting my shoes on and picking my phone, ready to leave.

"For what? Telling the truth?" She chuckled, opening the door and exiting the room, pulling me with her.

We quickly went downstairs and joined the other members in front of the two cars waiting for us. At our arrival, they all complimented our outfits, Sua congratulating herself for the dress she chose for me but the one I was waiting for didn't even notice our presence, happily chatting with our manager in one of the cars.

"Jiu unnie!" Yubin called for her. "What do you think of our outfits?"

Suddenly, my heartbeat fastened as she turned around to face us. And it became even worse when I noticed that she was looking at me from head to toe for at least 30 seconds, without saying anything.

"Earth to Minji, do you receive me? Gosh puppy, I think you broke her." Sua laughed at her own joke.

But it didn't help me at all, it was even worse. What was she thinking of? At a certain point, her constant gaze on me made me feel really uncomfortable and insecure, making me cross my arms on my chest, trying to hide from this intense look. Luckily, my move probably made her understand as she suddenly looked down and cleared her throat before looking back at Yubin and I.

"Y-Yes, you look really good, girls." She stuttered.

"Unnie, you didn't even look at me." Yubin complained.

"Of course I did! This suit looks really good on you!"

"Thank you?" The main rapper answered, not really convinced as she pulled me with her to the second car. "I told you she would like it." She whispered to me, climbing in the vehicle.

**********

After a 20 minute-drive, we finally arrived to the large reception hall, illuminated by a lot of multi color lights and full of balloons, well-dressed people and tables filled with snacks, appetizers and drinks. The girls quickly found something to do or someone to talk to but I didn't move since I arrived, desperately looking for the person I knew I would have a good evening with. Where was...

"Hey princess! I was searching for something even prettier to call you with but I couldn't find anything that could match your beauty tonight." Taehyung chuckled, surprising me from behind. "Joke aside, you're really beautiful Yoohyeon." He smiled warmly at me, offering me a drink.

"Thank you, you're not too bad yourself." I said with a smile, taking the glass in his hand.

"Hum... Would you maybe... like to dance with me?" He asked, lightly blushing and looking away.

"I-In front of all of these people?" My eyes widened at his offer. He was a member of one of the most famous boy groups ever, we had to be discreet to avoid scandals. And dancing together in front of hundreds of people wasn't really discreet at all.

"All those persons are people I trust. We all worked together for years so if I didn't trust them, who could I trust?" He assured me.

"Yes, you're right. Let's go then." I accepted, placing my glass on a table and taking his hand in mine, guiding him to the center of the room. But suddenly I froze, remembering I didn't know how to dance the slow.

"What's happening?" Taehyung asked, a bit worried.

"I... I don't know how to dance... this kind of dance..." I admitted, a bit ashamed of myself.

"Really?" He burst out laughing. "So you're telling me you're dancing every day but you don't know how to do the easiest dance?" He added, still laughing.

"Stop mocking me..." I pouted.

"I'm not mocking you Yoohyeon, it just surprised me." He justified himself. "Now, let me show you and just follow the move." He added before putting my hands behind his neck and gently placing his own hands on my hips, rocking us gently from left to right.

It wasn't something big but it still felt really good. The slow movement soothed me and almost put me to sleep, making me cross my arms behind his neck and lean on his shoulder. I slowly closed my eyes, feeling his arms tightening their hold around my waist, and enjoyed this moment.

"You look tired." Taehyung said after a minute or so. "Did the performance really killed you that much?" He chuckled.

"I think that what killed me the most was the dark glares that your fangirls were throwing at me." I chuckled against his shoulder.

"Yes, Jennie told me the same thing. Sorry about that." He said, lightly caressing my waist with his thumbs.

"Don't worry it's not your fault." I reassured him. "But that's true, you know Jennie. How is she in real life? She looks so cool!" I asked, straightening up to look into his eyes.

"Oh, so now you prefer her to me? I'm offended." He pretended to be shocked.

"No, you silly, of course not." I laughed, gently hitting him as the music stopped.

"I hope so." He laughed too before looking at somewhere behind me. "Hum... excuse me, I have to talk to someone. You know business and stuff. But don't wait for me, just live your life and I will come to get you when I'm done, okay?"

"Yes... I guess." I answered, a bit sad to be left alone after only one dance with him.

"Okay, see you later then." He added, lightly caressing my cheek with his hand before heading to a group of people.

I was now standing alone in the middle of all these people, not knowing what to do and feeling really lost. I quickly looked down, a little frightened by all the eyes on me and headed to a sofa in a corner, trying to make myself as small as possible. Dancing with Taehyung was really incredible but he was still one of the most famous idols in Korea, so being seen with him only made people give me curious and inquisitive looks.

I took on the table next to me a glass of I didn't know which alcohol to occupy my hands and drank it little by little, observing my surroundings. Most of the people such as Yubin or Dongie were happily chatting with glasses of champagne in hand while some others like Sua and Siyeon were enjoying the dance floor on some nice pop music. After a few minutes, the song changed and another slow rhythm started, making me think again of the slow dance I had with Taehyung a few moments ago. Where was he? I started to look everywhere, not moving from my sofa but I couldn't find him anywhere. I was about to stand up to search for him but something else caught my attention, making my heart ache immediately.

Jiu was in the middle of the dance floor, moving slowly between Kai's arms, their faces dangerously close. His large hands were covering her delicate waist while her arms were crossed behind his neck, pulling him closer to her, as if they were about to kiss. At this sight, my heart burnt like hell and my throat tightened, almost preventing me from breathing properly. I finished my drink in one go and could immediately feel the burning sensation on my palate and down my throat. It wasn't champagne for sure, but something much stronger, probably whisky. But despite my low tolerance for alcohol, I didn't hesitate to take another drink, emptying it completely in just a few sips, without taking my eyes off of them even for a second.

But even after the song was over, they stayed together, smiling and laughing as if they had known each other forever. Then little by little, the alcohol started to get to my head after the few drinks I had. The bass of the music was like heavy drums in my ears and it felt like the room was moving like a boat, which made my head spin even more.

They were now happily chatting with each other, a glass in hand, leaning towards each other to hear over the music. But even without my glasses, I could see his disgusting lips brushing against her soft skin, just making me want to jump on him and push him far from her. But the alcohol probably erased any trace of self-control in me, because I was already walking towards them without even realizing it, my fists clenched.

"Yoohyeon!" A voice stopped me in my tracks. "I finally found you!" Taehyung walked toward me with a big smile.

I looked at them one last time, trying to decide what to do but surprised Kai gently caressing Jiu's bare arm until his fingers met her hand, holding it tightly. I saw red. I had to quickly find a distraction or I was going to kill someone. Suddenly, Taehyung held my shoulder and turned me toward him.

"Yoohyeon, are you o-" He asked with worried eyes before I cut him, grabbing his collar and pulling him strongly toward me, planning to drown in those passionate kisses he knew so well.

But before I had the time to taste his delicious lips with mine, he stopped me by grabbing my two shoulders.

"Yoohyeon, did you drink?" He asked, smelling the scent coming from my mouth.

"Maybe... a little bit." I answered honestly, not really able to lie in my current state.

He looked back at the numerous empty glasses next to the spot I stayed to for a bit and sighed deeply.

"Why did you drink that much?"

"Kiss me and I will tell you after." I said seductively with a smirk on.

"No, I'm not kissing you when you're in this state." He answered with a serious face, not letting go of me.

But my drunk-self didn't hear the end of his sentence and just remembered the rejection, sending me back to my first kiss. She rejected me too back then, before playing with my heart and destroying it. Why was everyone rejecting me? Was I not good enough for them? Even when I was doing my best, nobody loved me, what more could I do? Usually, I would have just forgot those thoughts and hide my pain behind some pretty smiles but at the moment, I was too tired and too drunk to hold anything, letting everything out as tears were flowing down my cheeks.

"Hey Yoohyeon, tell me what's wrong." Taehyung asked again, trying to hide my face with his hands from the other guests. But right now, I couldn't care less, pushing him away.

"You don't love me anyway, you just want to play with my heart. Just like her." I told him, without being able to discern him anymore because of the tears that filled my eyes.

"Shhh, you have to calm down, Yoohyeon." Taehyung suddenly hugged me tightly, gently caressing my hair. "I will bring you back to the hotel now."

"No! Let go of me! I don't want your pity!" I said, trying to free myself from his embrace, but he was too strong.

Suddenly an idea crossed my mind. I quickly lifted my feet from the floor, surprising him and sliding down to the ground, freeing myself from his arms. He didn't have the time to react that I was already up again, running away. And I ran as fast as I could, bumping into a few people before I reached a door with writing on it 'Staff only'. I took it anyway, thinking that I was finally going to be alone and went to hide in a storage room I found on the way. And I sat on the floor, crying loudly, my knees in my arms.

"Oh, here you are." Taehyung said, out of breath after this chase. "Look at me Yoohyeon, and tell me what happened. Why did you drink that much?" He asked with a soft voice, kneeling in front of me.

"I... I just want to... to be alone." I tried to say between my sobs.

"Okay, don't move from here, I'm coming back in a few minutes." He announced standing up and running out of the room.

But the last thing I remembered from that night was that Taehyung left to bring me some water and someone came while he was away but I didn't know who it was or what had happened.

Chapter Text

Minji's POV:

My heart sank as soon as I saw the two of them embracing on the dance floor, her head resting on his shoulder and his hands caressing her slim waist. I couldn't take my eyes off of them, observing them moving in sync, smiles on their faces. I remembered her telling me that she never learned to do this dance but back then, I was too focus on training, completely ignoring her. If only I had taken better care of her when we were together, I would have probably been the one with her at the moment, hugging her tightly on the dance floor.

"I'm impressed, it's the first time I don't see you at the bar." A masculine voice was heard behind me. But I didn't need to turn around to know who it was, I perfectly knew already.

"But I'm still drinking alcohol." I chuckled, showing the glass in my hand.

"It's not an innocent glass of champagne that will kill you." Kai said, putting himself in front of me. "Now, why don't you stop stalking your girlfriend for a moment and just enjoy the evening?"

"Ex-girlfriend, you mean." I corrected him, feeling my heart tighten at my own words.

"For now." He answered. I was about to question him about that but he cut me before I could say anything. "Now, let's go eat something. I heard you can be really grumpy when you're hungry."

"For real!" I agreed, completely forgetting our previous subject and following him to the snacks and appetizers.

And for a few minutes, we stayed together, discussing the afternoon's performance and enjoying the taste of the sophisticated food in our mouths. But he suddenly took my hand in his and guided me to the center of the room as a slow song began, gathering some couples around us.

"Do you like dancing, my dear Minji?" He asked, putting his hands on my hips.

"No, I hate it even though I'm the lead dancer of my group." I chuckled, crossing my fingers behind his neck as we started to move slowly.

And just like this, we danced through the entire song, having fun like children without caring about people's judging looks to our loud laughs. The current music quickly came to an end and unfortunately, I couldn't dance to the next one, my high heels preventing me from jumping. So we safely moved to the side, taking another glass of champagne and happily chatted, leaning toward the other to talk since the music was covering our voices, making it difficult to hear each other.

But suddenly, something came clearly in my ears. A sound I could hear from miles away that could make my heart clench in a second, Yoohyeon's cries. I wasn't sure Kai noticed it but I knew what I heard and I couldn't ignore it. I started to look around me and quickly found her in the crown, fighting with Taehyung. She was trying to push him away, yelling at him something I couldn't hear when he suddenly hugged her, imprisoning her in his arms. At that sight, I saw red. How dared he touch her like this when she clearly didn't want it? I was about to interfere but saw her got out of his grip in a strange way, running away from him. He immediately started to chase her and I did the same but quickly lost them as I was too far and too slow with my high heels. Luckily, I found a door with written on it 'Staff only' and it almost screamed at me that she had taken this path thinking she could be alone.

Without hesitation, I pushed open the door and began to search for her in the labyrinth of corridors. And just like a few moments ago, her cries guided me to her, finally finding her in a storage room, all alone. She looked so weak and vulnerable, crying uncontrollably as she was hugging her legs, rocking back and forth, probably to try to calm herself down. I quickly ran to her side and held her tightly, gently caressing her back and her hair with my hands, making her completely lean on me. Gosh, what could he have done to her to make her run away crying like that?

"Shhh, it's okay Yoohyeon, you're safe now." I tried to reassured her. "Tell me what happened. What did he do to you?"

"Why him?" She asked still sobbing in my arms. But I noticed that her breath smelled of alcohol, was she drinking this evening? Did he try anything on her while she was tipsy?

"Who are you talking about? Taehyung?" I tried to understand.

"No... Kai." She answered between two sobs. Kai?! Did he hurt her?

"What do you mean?" I pushed her to explain, feeling completely lost. Did I trust the wrong person?

"Why do you love him and not me?" She asked, crying even more.

Her question froze me, making my heart beat like crazy. Did she really want me to love her? But she was happy with Taehyung, I didn't understand. I only made her suffer and yet she still wanted me?

"I could give my life for you but... but you don't care. You... you prefer to break my heart. Is it... is it because I'm not good enough for you?" She had trouble speaking between her tears.

What she said broke my heart, reminding me the lie I gave her that morning. During all those years, she thought that I just played with her and enjoyed breaking her while I loved her more than my own life. She may have thought that I didn't feel anything for her, but I couldn't let her think that I didn't care about her and that I broke up with her because 'she wasn't good enough'.

"Yoohyeon, look at me." I told her, cupping her face with my hands to make her raise her head and meet my eyes. "Don't ever say that again. You are way too good for me, I am the one who doesn't deserve your love, okay? You have nothing to be ashamed of, you didn't do anything wrong."

"But what if I still want to love you? Would you push me away?" She asked, looking straight into my eyes, with her watery puppy one.

Of course, I wouldn't push her away. I already did it enough in the past and today, I regretted it more than anything. If only I had been a better girlfriend for her, treating her the way she deserved, we wouldn't be like this today. But I couldn't tell her that, I was going to make her suffer again and it was the last thing I wanted.

"Look Yoohyeon, I-" I tried to say but was cut by sudden lips on mine, shutting me in less than a second.

After all those years, our lips met again and I didn't realize how much I missed them until now. It was like an electric charge that ran through my body and put all my senses on alert, making me kiss her back immediately. However, I couldn't do that, I couldn't kiss her again after everything I did to her. I tried to fight my desire and pull back but I lost this war long ago, letting myself go completely into the kiss, even deepening it. The contact of her lips on mine made me go crazy, craving for more, much more than that. I put my hand behind her nape and pulled her impossibly close, kissing her eagerly and exploring every little detail of her mouth with my tongue while caressing her bare thigh with my free hand through the slit of her dress. And my move seemed to have an effect on her as she let out a distinguish moan, officially putting an end to my self-control and making me furiously consume her mouth without any restriction.

But something felt off, it wasn't like I remembered, the taste seemed different, a bit like... alcohol! Shit, I kept repeated myself how much I loved her and cared about her but here I was taking advantage of her drunkenness. I quickly pulled back and took my hands off of her body, feeling the guilt already invading me. Fuck, why did I do that? If she was going to remember it, she was going to think that I was using her for sure.

But as soon as I looked at her, I saw her sobbing quietly as new tears were rolling down her cheeks. Gosh, I was making things even worse!

"Yoohyeon, why are you cr-" I was about to ask but she cut me in my sentence.

"Did you enjoy it? Did I satisfy your desires? Or did you stop because I wasn't as good as you wanted me to be?" She asked as more tears were escaping her eyes.

"Of course no! I stopped because you're drunk! I shouldn't have kiss you in the first place." I sighed.

"As if you cared..." She mumbled, looking down.

I couldn't take it anymore. I may have lied to her in the past to protect her, but I couldn't bare seeing her suffer because she thought I enjoyed hurting her. I cupped her cheeks and made her look at me.

"Listen to me really carefully, Hyeon. I love you more than you can imagine and I never played with you heart. But I was hurting you way too much and I knew you would have never broken up with me so I had to lie to you to make you hate me." I finally admitted after all these years. Fuck the promise, it was my life, I couldn't let Sua and Siyeon control it with a stupid promise.

But the only answer I got was new tears rolling down Yoohyeon's cheeks as she started to sob loudly again, looking down. Why was I having a serious talk with her right now, when she was way too drunk to understand anything? It was useless at the moment, the only useful thing I could do was to bring her back to the hotel and put her to sleep.

"I will take you back to the hotel now, climb on my back." I told her, crouching down in front of her, back facing her.

She didn't ask any questions and did what I just asked, putting her legs around my waist and crossing her arms in front of me, completely trusting me to carry her out of here. Unfortunately, I forgot that I was wearing high heels and quickly remembered it when I stood up as my ankle twisted, causing both of us to fall on our sides. But as soon as I touch the floor, I heard a big sound behind me followed by a loud baby's cries. I immediately turned back to check on her and saw her holding her head with her hand, she had just bump into a metal shelf. But seeing her facial expression, she wasn't too hurt, just confused... and drunk. I smiled seeing her adorable pout and quickly kissed the spot she hit, before taking off my shoes and making her climb again on my back, leaving by the back door of the building.

"I love you, Minji." She whispered in my ear with a cute voice, pecking my cheek.

"I love you too, Hyeon." I said with the biggest smile on my face. She probably wasn't going to remember tonight but at least I was able to find out how she really felt about me, about us. With that new information, there was no way I was giving up on her, promise or not. Wait for me Yoohyeon, I'm coming to get you back.

**********

Our manager came to the parking lot to give me the keys of one of the cars and let us go back home, seeing Yoohyeon's state. I put her comfortably on the passenger seat and left the building, heading back to the hotel. But the journey was longer than expected since we had to stop twice on the side on the road to let Yoohyeon throw up et breathe a bit, sick because of the car ride and the alcohol together. The end of the journey was quiet, Yoohyeon's last sobs filling the silence. But it quickly stopped as she fell asleep after a few minutes, all huddled up on her seat.

And after half an hour or so, we finally arrived at the hotel. I gently woke her up and took her on my back again, walking to the building and through the corridors in socks, receiving astonished looks from the people passing by. I took the elevator and pushed the button of our floor, before walking out as we arrived, heading to Yoohyeon's room. Suddenly, something crossed my mind as I stopped in front of her door.

"Yoohyeon?" I asked to get her attention.

"Hum?" She answered still on my back, half asleep.

"Please, tell me you have the card of your room." I asked, but knowing deep inside than Yubin wouldn't let her have the key, seeing how she could lose things really easily.

"No... Yubin has it." She confirmed my thoughts with a sleepy voice.

"Okay, don't worry. I will just put you in mine and ask Siyeon to move with Yubin for tonight." I tried to reassured her.

But I didn't receive any answer to that, only hearing slow breathing in my ear. Two seconds ago, she was talking to me and now, she was sleeping peacefully on my back. Sua was right, she was a real puppy. But feeling her breath on my neck sent chills down my spine, making me tighten my hands on her thighs around my waist. Luckily, I didn't have to forget her anymore because with this, it would have been impossible, she was making me go crazy.

I headed to my room and slowly opened the door, trying to not make too much noise to not wake the neighbors up. I walked in, letting the door close on its own and gently put Yoohyeon on Siyeon's bed, putting off her shoes. I picked a large shirt from my suitcase on the floor and went back to Yoohyeon, wanting to change her clothes for her to be more comfortable this night but stopped in my tracks, I couldn't do that.

"Yoohyeon, wake up. You have to take off your dress to sleep. Here, you can put this shirt on as a pajama." I said, showing her the item in my hand. But she couldn't see anything as her eyes were still closed, rolling in the bed, showing me her back. I sighed and tried again. "Okay, I'm going to undo the zipper on your back. Like this you can change yourself while I'm in the bathroom." I announced, slowly unzipping her dress, revealing the golden skin under the fabric. I swallowed with much difficulties, fighting hard to take my eyes off of her. Gosh, she was so beautiful!

I ran to the bathroom and jumped in the shower, letting the cold water cool down my burning body. How could she have so much effect on me? Just the sight of her bare skin was able to make me lose my mind and the memory of the kiss prevented me from calming down, making me burn even more.

After a few minutes, I finally came out of the shower, feeling a bit better. I took advantage of this moment of peace to text Siyeon. But as soon as I turned on my phone, a notification appeared on the screen.

'Hey, what happened? Are you alright?' Kai asked with a worried emoji. And it was enough to make me smile, he was really the sweetest. But at the same time, I felt a twinge in my heart. He worked hard to help me to move on and I was just giving up on him. Was I really going to risk to hurt Yoohyeon again and destroy this chemistry I built with Kai? I sighed out of frustration, not knowing what to do and quickly informed him on the situation.

'Okay, have a good night then. <3' He answered, sending a moving sticker of a cat hugging a heart with it.

'Good night!' I said back, sending a similar sticker and then asking Siyeon to switch room with Yoohyeon for the night.

I slowly opened the door of the bathroom, trying to not wake the puppy up when I let out a sigh of despair seeing what was in front of me. Yoohyeon didn't move since I left and was peacefully sleeping on Siyeon's bed with her dress half opened. There was no choice after all, I had to change her myself. Already, when she was in her normal state, it was really hard to make her move from her bed so now, it was going to be impossible. I started to undress her, taking her arms out of the sleeves as gently as I could but it made me feel really uncomfortable, even if I already saw her naked many times. After all, Sua and her never stopped chasing each other half naked in the dorms like little kids. But this time, it was different, we just kissed and she admitted that she still loved me.

I tried to think about something else and quickly managed to take her out of her dress before putting the shirt on her and adjusting her comfortably under the cover of the bed. I gently placed a soft kiss on her forehead and climbed in my own bed, turning off the light and closing my eyes, ready to sleep. But as I was started to fall into Dreamland, I felt something move in my bed. I opened my eyes again and saw Yoohyeon trying clumsily to crawl on my bed, the alcohol making her task harder.

"Yoohyeon, what are you doing?" I asked in a whisper.

"I want to sleep with you." She said, putting herself under the blanket.

"Why? You weren't good in your bed?" I sighed. How could I resist to her when she was like this.

"You don't want me?" She asked with a cute voice. Despite the dark, I could see her adorable pout and it was enough to convince me. Gosh, she was so cute.

"Of course I want you! Come here." I said, opening my arms to her. And in a second, she was holding me tightly, hiding her face in the crook my neck.

"Good night unnie, I love you." She said before falling asleep in my arms.

"Good night Hyeon, I love you too." I answered, gently kissing the top of her head and falling asleep too.

**********

The next morning was probably one of the best mornings I had for a long time, waking up with the love of my life in my arms. I slowly opened my eyes and looked at her sleeping peacefully next to me, she was just so beautiful. But what was she going to think at her awakening? Was she even going to remember anything? Yesterday, I was so proud to have finally found the strength to tell her how I felt and I was so glad she was feeling the same but now, I couldn't help but hesitate. If we tried again, I was probably going to hurt her again unconsciously and that was the last thing I wanted. Years ago, I broke up with her to protect her from me and she really suffered from this. Plus, I was getting closer and closer to Kai and I knew he could help me to move on from her. At that thought, something crossed my mind. Sua knew Yoohyeon as much as she knew me and she hid Yoohyeon's feelings from me, so did she really think that I wasn't able to take care of her, even now? After all, she was the one telling me to find someone to lean on and forget about my leadership responsibilities and by that, she didn't mean Yoohyeon at all. But she was right, back then, I wasn't able to lead our relationship and didn't do anything good, neither for Yoohyeon nor for me. So her still liking me today wasn't a reason for us to date again. I had to think carefully first and I knew Sua could help me to sort out my thoughts and decide what to do.

I tried to slowly get out of bed without waking Yoohyeon up and quickly dressed, before placing a soft kiss on her forehead and leaving the room. I walked to Sua's door and knocked harder than I meant to, too impatient to fix this situation. After a few seconds, the door opened and I didn't hesitate, going straight to the subject I wanted to talk to her about.

"Did you really hide her feelings from me on purp-" I asked, my anger and nervousness reflected in my voice before noticing that the person standing in front of me wasn't Sua but Handong.

"Hum... Hi unnie, what are you talking about?" She asked, a bit confused.

"Oh, sorry Dongie, I thought you were Sua..." I said. "Is she here?"

"YA, KIM MINJI!" I heard from inside of the room. Oh gosh, how could this girl be this loud even in the morning. I stepped inside and was met with a short brunette still in pajamas, yelling at me. "WHERE WERE YOU YESTERDAY?"

"Oh my god, my eardrums!" I complained, covering my ears with my hands. "And to answer your question, I came back earlier, I was tired."

"Of course, and you will tell me the puppy was tired too?"

"Yes." I lied without hesitation. I had no intention to tell her that Yoohyeon was wasted, that we kissed, confessed and slept together. She didn't need to know anything.

"And why did she finish in your room?"

"She didn't have the card of her room." I said, proud to finally say something true.

"Hum... I don't know if I should believe you or not, but for now I will." She answered, studying me carefully.

"So unnie, you said that someone hid someone's feelings from you or I don't know what?" Handong tried to remember what I said a minute ago, sitting on one of the beds.

"Yeah, what was that?" Sua added, sitting next to her and inviting me to take place on the other bed.

"Hum..." I started, sitting cross-legged in front of them. But I didn't really know where to start and the fact that Dongie was in the room didn't help.

"Do you want me to leave maybe?" She offered, as if she was reading my mind. I was about to answer but Sua was faster.

"No, you can stay. It concerns one of the members after all. Isn't it Jiu?" She added, calling me 'Jiu' to remind me that I was a leader and couldn't put any members to the side. And she was right, once again.

"Of course, you can stay." I smiled to Dongie, reassuring her.

But I didn't know what to say anymore. I arrived here so confident, knowing exactly what I planned to do but now that it was the moment, I was completely lost.

"Did... did you know she still loved me?" I finally managed to ask, looking at Sua.

"Of course I did! I'm her roommate, she tells me everything."

"Who are we talking about? Yoohyeon?" Dongie tried to follow the discussion.

"Yes. And your unnie over there hid from me that she still loved me." I answered coldly, looking straight into Sua's eyes.

"Because first, it wasn't my place to tell you that and then, what would you have done if I did tell you? Date her again?"

"Yes!" I answered without really thinking about it. Because now that I knew everything, I had no idea of what to do, confess to her or let her live as if nothing happened and let her move on with Taehyung.

"Why would you date her again, unnie? I thought you didn't love her and just wanted to use her." Handong tried to understand.

"So now, you're going to go back with her?" Sua didn't even mind answering to the Chinese girl.

"Maybe?" I said, with much less confidence than before. I came here for advices after all, at some point I would have to tell her how I really felt about this situation.

"And what if you behave the same as you did before?" She pushed.

"Why? How did you behave before?" Dongie asked, not understanding anything.

"You don't think I've changed? It's been years after all." I tried to defend myself.

"Minji, you-" Sua was about to answer but was cut pretty violently.

"Ya! Can't you answer me for God's fucking sake?!" Handong suddenly yelled, standing up. "Do you think I'm some kind of ghost or what!"

Sua and I shared a look, speechless. Hearing Dongie yell and curse like this was really rare. But I could understand why, we were talking about something that hurt Yoohyeon a lot years ago, and she might call her stupid all the time, we all knew how much she cared for her.

"Unnie, why would you want to go back with her when you never loved her and just wanted to play with her?" She asked again.

"Do you want me to explain or you prefer to do it yourself?" Sua looked at me.

"Hum..." I didn't really know where to start and what to say. "In fact, I never wanted to play with her feelings, I loved her more than anything and I still do. But back then, it was complicated for me to be a good leader and a good girlfriend at the same time and I was only making her suffer. So I had to lie to her to make sure she wouldn't try to come back to me. And looks like it worked." I finally explained, avoiding on purpose the role Jaesung had in this story. I didn't want to worry her with that.

"Waw... I didn't expect that." She said, looking lost in her thoughts. "But to be honest, I'm relieved that you didn't really hurt Yoohyeon on purpose. I must admit that back then, I secretly hated you for what you did to her." She confessed, playing awkwardly with her fingers, probably scared of my reaction.

"And you had all the reasons too." I reassured her with a smile.

"Tell me honestly Minji, do you think you changed and are now capable to take good care of her?" Sua asked.

I wanted to answer than yes, I changed and was ready to take her back but in fact, I didn't know. I thought about many things I could do with her like take her out often, buy a lot of ice creams or watching her favorite horror movies but I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to do all of that. I didn't know if I would be able to give her the time and the attention she deserved, make her feel loved, or just bring her happiness. And seeing how Taehyung was taking good care of her, I knew it was selfish to want to take her back while she could be happier with someone else.

"I don't know..." I answered honestly, looking down.

"You probably already figured this out, but she's still fully in love with you and just wait for you. She might really like Taehyung, but I know for sure that her heart is only beating for you."

"Are you saying you want me to go back to her?" I asked with hope. It meant that Sua trusted me and thought that I changed. I might not know if I was ready for that, but if Sua thought so, then I trusted her. After all, she had always been able to understand me better than myself.

"No." She answered, breaking all my hopes. "I'm just saying that, for now, she's only looking at you and you only need to say the three magic words 'I', 'Love', 'You' for her to run back to you. But it doesn't mean you have to do that. If you hesitate, then don't try it. You will try to compensate for your lack of self-confidence by working and you will end up pushing her away as you did before. And I can tell you, a second break up will destroy her for good."

"Please, unnie. Don't do anything stupid." Handong pleaded. I could read it in her eyes, how much she was moved by Yoohyeon's distress back then, always crying and hurting with her.

"Okay, I will think carefully about that before then." I smiled at her, taking her hands in mine to reassure her. I wanted to show her how serious I was with that and how much I also cared for Yoohyeon.

"Thank you unnie." She smiled back at me.

But something else was bothering me. Could I really give up on Kai while he helped me so much these past few days? I only knew him for three weeks but felt like we always knew each other. He was able to read in me like no one ever did before and he always managed to make me forget my daily problems to enjoy a moment with him. He was so sweet and caring with me, making me smile just at his sight. Should I really try again with Yoohyeon and risk to hurt her again or should I try to forget her and move on with Kai?

"Minji, what's on your mind?" Sua asked, taking me out of my thoughts.

"Kai... I don't know what to do with him..." I admitted.

"No way! Someone managed to break the doors of the Great Kim Minji's heart?" She laughed.

"No, that's not what I said! It's just... he helped me a lot and I know I could move on with him but... I don't know." I was so lost, not knowing what I wanted or how I felt.

"Unnie, do you feel like you would be happier with him?" Handong asked me.

Would I be happier with him? Since I met him, I felt a lot better, thinking less about Yoohyeon and Taehyung and smiling way more. Every time I was with him, I felt like I was finally able to enjoy what I was doing without worrying about the members, the fans, my job or our future album. With him, I could finally forget all my daily stress and be normal again, just me, Kim Minji.

But despite everything I felt for him, it wasn't love. And I knew I wasn't going to be happy in a relationship where I didn't love the other person.

"No." I answered with confidence.

"Then, the problem is solved." Sua concluded. "That's not because you're not dating anyone that you absolutely have to find someone. I'm not the best person to say that but being single is cool!"

"Yeah unnie, you're definitely not the best person to say that." Dongie mocked her. "But I confirm, it's okay to be single!"

"Yes you're right, I don't know why I was even thinking about that." I sighed, ashamed of my thoughts.

"Because you're lost and because... he makes you feel special maybe?" Sua read in me.

"Indeed."

"So unnie, what will you do with Yoohyeon?" Handong asked.

"Nothing. First, I will try to sort out my thoughts and feelings and then I will see if I feel I can take care of her correctly."

"Yes, good idea. Thank you unnie." She smiled at me.

"But something is bothering me." Sua said. "First... where did she find the courage to tell you everything? When I talk to her about that, she seemed terrified of you! And then, what did you answer?"

"Hum... well..." I suddenly blushed furiously, memories of the kiss coming back to my mind. "L-Let's say that a-alcohol helped her a bit?"

"ALCOHOL?!" Sua yelled in my ears. Gosh, how did I do to not become deaf after all those years with her? "Don't tell me she confessed to you because she was drunk!"

"Y-Yes..."

"OH MY GOD MINJI!" At this point, I could feel my ears ringing. "How drunk was she?"

"Hum... She was crying because she saw me dancing with Kai and..." I was about to tell them about the kiss but stopped myself just before doing this mistake. "And she threw up twice on the way back here."

"And what did you answer her when she confessed?"

"I told her the truth... that I never played with her heart and lied to her to make her hate me." I specified to let Sua know that she still didn't know anything about Jaesung or the promise I made with Siyeon and her.

"But what if she remembers everything?" Handong asked, a bit panicked.

"Then, I will just tell her that I need time to think about it." I answered, trying to look confident when in fact, I wasn't.

"I'm proud of you, Minji." Sua smiled to me. "But don't tell anything to Siyeon, you know how she is."

"So... it means that you support me?!" I asked, eyes widened.

"If you think you changed and you feel like you can take good care of her, then yes, I trust you."

"Thank you, thank you so much!" I stood up hugging her.

"Guys, get ready, we are leaving in 30 minutes!" We heard Minho, BTS' manager, yell from the corridor.

"You should go wake the puppy up now." Sua said, patting my butt as she loved to do. "You know how hard it is for her to get out of bed, especially with the hangover she must have."

"Yes, you're right. I will get going then. Bye girls!" I waved at them, leaving the room with a smile.

I still didn't know what to do with Yoohyeon but at least, I knew Sua was on my side and Dongie helped me to understand what I really felt for Kai. Thanks to them I was way less lost than before and felt more relaxed about this whole situation.

I walked to my door and opened it, getting ready to wake a cute puppy up when I fell on an empty bed. My smile faded as I realized what happened. Of course she left, last time we slept together in a hotel, she spent the worse time of her life the next morning. But still, it pained me to know that she was suffering from this even today. After that, my mind was set, I was going to make her happiness my priority, whether I was part of it or not.

Chapter Text

Taehyung's POV:

"Oh, here you are." I said out of breath, finally finding her hidden in a storage room.

After spending 30 minutes with uninteresting people telling me how talented I was or how perfect I would be for their daughters, I managed to escape from them and started searching for Yoohyeon but quickly found her getting drunk on glasses of whisky. I tried to help her but she tried to kiss me before loudly crying and running away from me. And here I was now, standing in a storage room with a crying Yoohyeon all curled up on the floor.

"Look at me Yoohyeon, and tell me what happened. Why did you drink that much?" I asked with a soft voice, kneeling in front of her.

"I... I just want to... to be alone." She tried to say between her sobs.

"Okay, don't move from here, I'm coming back in a few minutes." I announced, standing up and running out of the room.

I had to sober her up a bit before taking her back to the hotel, she couldn't stay here in this state. And I had to hurry because who knew what she could do while I was away. I ran to the bar and asked for some water but the barman seemed to take all his time to find the good bottle and the good glass, so I just took the bottle from his hands and went to the appetizers. At least, she was going to have some water for the car ride too with this. I took a whole plate and ran back to where I left her but suddenly bumped into someone just before the staff area, almost making the food in my hand fall.

"Sorry." I quickly bowed before realizing who it was. "Oh, Kai hyung, I'm sorry." I bowed again and headed to the door.

"Wait!" He stopped me in my tracks.

"Yeah?" I turned around quickly.

"Can't you read? It's written 'Staff only' on this door." He said.

"Hum... yes I know but... I have something to do inside." I tried to think of a lie. I couldn't tell him Yoohyeon was completely drunk and was crying her eyes out in a storage room.

"Don't worry, someone is already taking care of her, you can breathe."

"W-What are you taking about?" I asked, confused.

"Yoohyeon. She is in good hands, you don't have to worry." He smiled warmly at me, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"How do you know that? And who is with her?" I asked in a hurry. I couldn't let anyone with her, she looked so vulnerable and weak while being drunk. It could be so easy to hurt her and I couldn't let that happen. "No, I told her I was going to come back to her." I remembered, going back to the door.

"No." Kai insisted, taking the water bottle from my hand as a hostage.

"Hey, I need that!" I started to lose patience.

"I told you, V. Someone is already taking care of her and honestly, I think that two persons at the same time won't help her a lot."

"Who is the person?" I pushed him to tell me.

"Someone I trust."

"Okay." I sighed. "But if anything happens to her, I'll make sure you regret it, because it will be all your fault." At this point, I knew he would neither let me see her nor tell me who's with her. So the only thing I could do was reminding him the power I had, to be able to protect Yoohyeon as much as I could.

"And I take full responsibility for it." He agreed.

I sighed, knowing that I couldn't say anything to make him change his mind. I wanted so much to go back to her and take care of her. She didn't get drunk for nothing and, when I met her eyes, I could read how hurt she was at that moment. This sight only broke my heart, I wanted so much to hug her tightly and protect her from what could have make her feel this way. I didn't know why but since I met her, I always felt the need to be by her side and always check on her, especially since she told me about her past. She was always hiding her pain behind pretty smiles when in fact she was suffering from loneliness and abandonment. And I wanted to help her. After all, she was the one taking me out of this infernal tornado of success, reminding me what it was like to be normal again.

"But I think someone else needs your help." Kai took me out of my thoughts, pointing at somewhere in the crown.

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to see where he was showing when I finally understood, Jungkook.

"He looks pretty down these days, you should talk to him." He said, patting my shoulder. "After all, you're really important to him, you should be able to help him, don't you think so?"

He was right. Jungkook who was always so sociable, talking and laughing with every guest was now all alone by himself, playing with the empty glass in his hands, not even a hint of happiness on his face.

"I guess you know what to do now." He added before taking the plate in my hands and walking away.

Jungkook and him only met a couple of days ago and he could easily see that he wasn't feeling well while I knew him for more than 10 years and didn't notice anything, I sucked.

I went to him and stopped in front of him, but he didn't react, still looking at his empty glass in his hands, probably not noticing me. I cleared my throat and gently patted his shoulder, taking him out of his thoughts.

"Hey." I said, a bit embarrassed. Since the day of my first date with Yoohyeon, things were a bit awkward between us.

"Hey." He answered, not looking at me.

"Are you okay? You seem... tired?"

"I am... with the jet lag and the big work we had to do for this collab, you know."

"Yeah..." I didn't know what to answer.

I tried to meet his eyes but he was looking past me, avoiding my gaze. I sighed and put myself next to him, leaning my back on the wall behind us like him. I turned my head to his side and studied him carefully, looking at every little detail of his perfect features. His big smile that was usually brightening his face was nowhere to be seen, replaced by a sad expression that I didn't notice before but was now obvious to me. Kai was right, he wasn't feeling well and since he didn't come to me to talk about it, it had probably something to do with what happened at the gymnasium. I put my hand behind his neck and gently caressed his nape with my thumb in a comforting move.

"What is bothering you? You know you can tell me everything." I said with a soft voice, not taking my eyes off of him.

"Don't... don't you miss the time where nobody knew us? Where we could do what we wanted... like be together." He added, turning his head toward me at his last words.

Together? I knew what he meant by that. When I was still in high school, I used to have a lot of girlfriends. Often, they were close friends before we dated and I genuinely loved them so I never refused their confessions. After all, I would have maybe catch feelings during the relationship. However, this never happened. Nevertheless, even if it always ended with me breaking their heart, I realized that I really liked showing them my love for them through physical contacts such as kisses and hugs, even if it was only friendly love. So when I met Jungkook 10 years ago, we quickly became close and shared our love for each other through intimate gestures. But time passed and more and more eyes were on us as we started to stand out, so we had to stop and limit ourselves to only hugs, to avoid any scandal or rumor.

"Honestly, yes, I really miss this time." I admitted. "It was really hard to stand out and we feared every day the disband but at least, we could have a private life. But today, we don't have to struggle anymore with anything, we are famous, rich, and the world is at our feet. And I may miss the old time, I love what we are living at the moment and I don't regret anything."

"But you're not as happy as before." He said, looking straight into my eyes.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"Your smile. Back then, it used to be so big and warm and now, it's only little and shy smiles. You hate how much you're restricted and can't do anything like before, even if you know that it's for our own sake. You hate being forbidden to do what you want and how you're not allowed to show openly your love for the others, your love for me."

Everything he said was true. I hated how they forced me to stop doing what I liked and even I noticed that my smile changed from back then. We may have been more successful, we weren't happier. This fame was suffocating us, preventing us from being our true self. Jungkook was right, I really missed kissing and hugging the persons I loved without being criticized every second.

But I also noticed that lately, I felt a lot better and I even surprised myself smiling way more than before. And it was all thanks to Yoohyeon, since I met her, she managed to remind me how it was to be 'normal' again and live as if no one was looking at me.

"Yeah, you're right." I admitted. "I feel like I'm chained to not being able to express myself the way I want to. This fame prevents me from being free of my decisions, hugging people like I want, holding their hands or just kissing them. I hate how they limit me but, at the same time, I can understand. People wouldn't agree with the way I share my love with others, I shared my love with you."

"What if we tried again? After all, BTS will take a break from the group's activities, it's our chance! I'm sure we can make it work again. For now, the world will be looking at J-hope's debut, not us. I want to show you again what you mean to me, Taehyung. And I want you to show me what I am for you." He said, detaching himself from the wall and standing in front of me.

"Yes, I really miss all of that too, but I can't. What if our fans find out? They will turn their backs on us and hate us for that. And that's the last thing I want. The only option I have for that would be to date someone again."

"Then date someone. I know it would make you happy again, having someone waiting for you every evening, to hug you and kiss you after a work day. Someone who could make you smile again and make you forget all your daily problems in a second." He explained, putting his hands on my shoulders and gently massaging them. "And for the fans, they can leave if they want, who cares after all? Taehyung, your life, your choices, nobody can tell you what to do, especially when you are one of the most powerful persons of South Korea."

Of course I knew he wanted him to be this someone for me. But I wasn't into men and never felt any love feelings for any of them. Unfortunately for him, I was straight and he knew that, but still tried his chance. I couldn't return his feelings but what he said rang in my mind. He was right, what if people didn't agree with my choice? After all, I was protected by the biggest music company of Korea and I was going to protect my partner as much as they would do with me. And I couldn't help but think of Yoohyeon. Since I met her, I was a lot happier and having her in my arms every evening was the thing I wished for the most at the moment. Plus, by dating her, I would be able to help her to move on from her previous love story and protect her from her leader. After seeing how she was looking at her when she interrupted our first date, I knew she was planning something on the poor puppy and I couldn't let that happen.

"Yes, you're right Jungkook." I said with a determined tone. "I will ask Yoohyeon out."

Chapter Text

Yoohyeon's POV:

The next morning, I felt like my head was about to explode. Even though I was lying on my bed, I felt like the world was spinning around me, and I had to make a lot of effort to open my eyes to finally realize that I was lying on the extreme side of the bed, as if I was letting some space for someone else. I stretched my hand over the bed and felt a hole in the mattress, as if someone had been lying there not long ago. Did I not sleep alone? I got closer to the pillow and smelled a familiar scent on it but I couldn't guess from who it was. And I couldn't even remember how I ended in the bed of someone else, but I just hoped that it was with one of the members, otherwise it would be pretty awkward to face the person. Especially when I looked under the blanket, and realized that I was only wearing a large shirt and nothing on my legs. Suddenly, I blushed madly, thinking that I might have slept with someone other than my members dressed like this. But the scent was too familiar and I wasn't close enough to anyone to know how they smelled like, expect for the girls.

I started to think about them one by one but none of them fitted. Sua, Siyeon, Dongie, Yubin, Gahyeon, but it wasn't any of them. Oh no... I didn't sleep with Jiu, right? I smelled one more time the pillow and indeed, it smelled just like her. And now that I thought about it, I was also wearing one of her shirts. I quickly straightened up on the bed to observe my surroundings and noticed Siyeon and Jiu's suitcases on the floor.

Fuck. I was in Jiu's room, wearing Jiu's shirt and apparently I had slept with her. What the fuck happened yesterday night?

I hit my head a few times with the palm of my hand, as if it was going to help me to remember, but nothing came... except my first time with her. Every time I thought about that moment, it made me feel so dirty and stupid. How could I be so naïve to think that a woman as amazing as her liked me back? I should have notice it before but I was just too blinded by love, too easy to fool.

Since that day, I felt so little next to her, not daring to even look at her. Luckily with time, we managed to become close again but I never wanted to sleep in the same hotel room as her again, I didn't want to live the same feeling I felt the following morning of our night. And thinking about it, she already left a while ago and was probably going to be back really soon. Last time I could have left but decided to stay, it didn't end well for me so now, there was no way I was staying in the room one more minute.

I rushed out of the room, not caring if I was half naked and ran to Yubin and I's room, knocking desperately on the door.

"Yubin I beg you, open this door!" I yelled after a few seconds as no one was answering me.

"Yoohyeon?" I heard a masculine voice on my next.

"T-Taehyung?" I turned to the familiar face, trying to pull down the shirt to hide some skin of my legs.

"What are you doing dressed like this in the middle of the corridor for all to see?" He asked with a hint of panic in his voice, rushing to me and pulling off his sweater, tying it around my waist.

"I-I don't have the key of our room so I knocked but Yubin isn't opening the door." I stuttered, a bit ashamed of the situation he found me in.

"Your room? I thought Yubin was sharing it with Siyeon. And I saw them a few minutes ago going down for breakfast."

"Ah, r-really?" Shit, now I was blocked outside, not able to enter in my own room neither going back to Jiu's.

"Wait, where did you spend the night if you weren't in your room?" He asked. I was about to answer but he cut me before I could say anything. "No wait, first come to my room, I can't let you here like this." He added, pulling me with him.

"I-In your room?" I started to panic.

"Yoohyeon, breathe, I won't do anything. And we already talked about it, remember?" I lightly nodded. "Good. Now follow me inside, I will give you some clothes while we wait for your roommates to come back." He said opening the room and letting me in.

"T-Thank you." I answered a bit awkwardly, staying close to the door while he went straight to his suitcase.

"So for now, I can give you a jogger that we can roll up a bit because it will maybe be a bit long you know. I can also offer you some socks, they're not the most stylish but they are comfy. And for the shoes, hum let me think. I think my sneakers will be a bit large so I can give you my slippers for now or ask to Jimin or Yoongi hyung to borrow theirs. And of course, you can keep my sweater. What do you think about this?" He finally asked, turning toward me with all the clothes in his arms. Gosh, he was so cute.

"Your slippers will be perfect, thank you so much Taehyung." I smiled to him, taking the items in his hands and heading to the bathroom.

"No problem." I heard him say from the other side of the thin wall. "So what happened yesterday?"

"Honestly, I don't know. The last thing I remember is..." I tried to search in my memories when suddenly, I remembered how I started to fight with Taehyung while crying my eyes out in front of all the guests. Shit, how stupid was I to drink that much? "Hum... I-I just want to say sorry for what I did yesterday. Now that I think about it, you just wanted to help me."

"It's okay, Yooh. Sometimes, alcohol makes us do crazy things."

"Y-Yes, right." I stuttered, finishing to put the pants on. Gosh, how large and tall was he? I was sure I could fit twice in it. "But I don't have any memories of what happened after that, except that I ran away from you and hid in a storage room."

"Yes, that's what you did. You run pretty fast by the way! So after that, I chased you and found you crying on the floor. I then left for a few minutes to take you some water but on my way back, I got stopped and told that someone was already taking care of you. And I had no way to join you. You really can't remember anything?"

"N-No, not really..." I sighed, rolling up the pants' sleeves.

"So where did you sleep then?"

"In Jiu unnie's room."

"What?!" He yelled, making me jump. "Are you okay? She didn't do anything to you? She didn't... abuse you, right?"

"What? No, of course no! Taehyung, she's my leader, she would never hurt me!" I raised my voice, suddenly feeling that my lips were swollen and strangely dry. What really happened yesterday?

"Yoohyeon, do you really want me to remind you what she did to you? What kind of monster could be able to make you believe they love you before using you like she did? She doesn't care about the others, Yooh. You know just like me that she would be able to hurt you without even regretting it."

I hated the way he was talking about her and I wanted so much to prove him wrong but I knew he was right. And I didn't remember kissing anyone yesterday, yet my lips felt like I did. But there was no way I was sharing that with Taehyung, I didn't want him to hate Jiu even more.

I didn't answer and quickly finished to change in his clothes before leaving the bathroom and going back to the room, standing in front of him.

"... I'm done." I said, a bit upset, making him raise his head from his phone.

"You look cute." He smiled at me before pulling me on the bed, sitting against the board and hugging me tightly. "I know you hate the way I'm talking about her but you know I'm right. From what you told me, no one ever hurt you as much as her, right?"

"... yes."

"But don't worry Yooh, I don't blame you for still trusting her. She's your first love after all."

"It's not only that. She's my leader and we live together so I really can't help it. And honestly, she always took good care of me, as a leader I mean. So now that we are nothing more, I don't have any reason to not trust her."

"Yeah, you're right. But I think that you should take some days off and leave somewhere far from your group for a bit. To focus on yourself and find out what you really want. Because I know that having her around you won't help you finding out what you feel."

"It's a good idea but where could I go? To my family in Incheon? No way, my siblings are so noisy that I can't even think properly." I chuckled.

With my sister and two brothers, we fought a lot when we were younger but still loved each other more than anything. Now, my older brother was living in Seoul too and I could see him from time to time but I still missed a lot our family moments, loudly chatting around the dining table all together. So going back there for a few days was a good idea, but not if it was to have some time to focus on myself.

"In two weeks, I'm taking a few days off and I'm leaving Seoul for the weekend." He said, gently caressing my hair. "You can come with me if you want, since your promotion for 'Maison' is finished. I mean, you did a really good job, your CEO won't refuse, right?"

A weekend, only with Taehyung, was it really a good idea? The last time we stayed together, I ended with a hickey on my neck, even though he stayed only 4 hours. So what could happen if we were just the two of us for a whole weekend? But on the other hand, we said that we were going to take our time, even him wasn't ready to do anything. So I didn't have any reason to refuse. After all, it was just going to be a weekend between friends, nothing more.

"So what do you think about it?" He took me out of my thoughts.

"I would love it." I accepted his offer, smiling warmly at him.

**********

Once again, we didn't take the same plane as BTS to avoid as much as we could their sasaengs or just their crazy fans. I was the first one among the members to get in the plane so I just sat at my place and waited for anyone to sit next to me. It was often what we did, we never really planned with who we were going to sit in the plane.

So I just got comfortable on my seat, starting to look at the screen in front of me to search which movies I was going to watch. And as expected, after a few seconds, someone took place next to me and I suddenly felt a gentle hand on my thigh.

"Hey." I heard a sweet voice next to me.

I turned my head to the side and was met with a hypnotizing gaze that never failed to attract me, as if I was seeing it for the first time again. Kim Minji, how could someone be this pretty? She was glowing, and, as always, it was impossible for me to take my eyes off of her.

She brought her hand to my cheek and caressed it gently, making me lean into the touch instantly. Her skin was the softest thing I ever felt and I could never get tired of it. I wanted to always have her by my side, her hands in mine, her arms around my waist, and her lips on my own. Her lips, the most beautiful thing I ever saw, but could never have again, I thought, moving my gaze to them. I missed so much the burning feeling of them on my skin mixed with their sweet taste against mine. And seeing them at the moment, moving in slow motion to form words I couldn't hear, just made me want to taste them again. Unnie, no matter if you kissed me yesterday or not, I want you to kiss me here and now, I thought inside.

But suddenly, her face came dangerously close to mine and made me move away in a state of panic, coming out of my total daze.

"-okay? Are you sick maybe?" I finally heard what she was saying as she moved her hand on my forehead.

"W-What?" I stuttered, looking away.

"I was speaking to you but you didn't seem to hear me and you looked completely out of it. Are you alright?" She asked with a worried expression.

"Y-Yes, just a bit tired. And the hangover probably doesn't help either." I chuckled awkwardly.

"Oh, wait I probably have a medicine for that, don't move." She said, standing up to get her bag.

"No, it's okay unnie, don't worry!" I stopped her by grabbing the sleeve of her shirt.

"Are you sure?" I nodded, making her sit back. "Okay, then if you need anything, just ask me. And don't mind waking me up if I'm asleep, I will gladly help you." She added with a smile, putting her earphones in her ears.

But there was still something bothering me, what really happened last night? I brought my finger to my lips, to try to remember anything but nothing came to my mind. I didn't know how I ended up in her room, with her shirt, in her bed. And why were my lips all swollen suddenly? I couldn't ask the members because I knew they didn't know anything and even Taehyung had no idea of what could have happened. So Jiu was the only one who could give me some answers.

"Unnie?" I tried to get her attention.

"Yes?" She reacted immediately, taking off her earphones.

"Hum... W-What happened yesterday night?"

"What do you mean?" She looked confused, tilting her head to the side.

"I-I mean... this morning, I woke up with no memory of how I got to your room or how I ended up half n-naked wearing one of your shirts." I explained awkwardly, playing nervously with my fingers.

"Ah, this! Well yesterday, I found you crying all alone in a storage room completely drunk. So I... I took you back to the hotel. But you didn't have the key of your room so I took you in mine a-and gave you one of my large shirts to sleep with. Y-You changed yourself and fell asleep."

"And... d-did we sleep together? I mean in the same bed?" I asked, even if I already knew the answered. But she didn't look really sincere in her explanation so I wanted to check if she wasn't hiding this kind of details.

"Yes, we did. But you were the one coming into my bed!" She put her hands up in a defensive way. "But it's not something we should be ashamed of, right? After all, we often sleep together at the dorm." She added with a smile.

Yes, she had a point here. How dumb was I, why did I run away this morning? It wasn't the first time we slept in the same bed as friends, anyway. But the fact that it was in a hotel room brought me bad memories, that was why I got scared. But of course, I couldn't tell her that. Speaking with her about our old story would be too painful to me, so I always tried to avoid it, and today was not the day to change that.

"Yeah, you're right." I murmured, looking down. I was about to put my own earphones when something crossed my mind. "Oh unnie by the way!"

"Yes?"

"In two weeks, I'm taking a few days off, and our manager already agreed since our promotion for 'Maison' will be over."

"That's great! I'm sure your family will be really glad to see you again!" She smiled warmly.

"Hum... I-In fact, I'm not going back home. I'm leaving for the weekend with Taehyung." I said, almost whispering the last part.

I knew that he didn't like her for what she did to me in the past, but I could also sense that this feeling was mutual. And it was confirmed when I saw her face harden at the mention of his name. But her dark expression quickly disappeared when a smile formed, lightning up her face.

"Then enjoy your trip, Yoohyeona." She smiled lightly to me, holding tightly my hand and not letting it go for the whole flight.

Why are you like this, Kim Minji?

Chapter Text

Minji's POV:

Fuck.

Of course it was going to happen, I was way too slow and he took his chance. So now, I had two weeks to find out what I wanted to do and act, because I knew that this trip wouldn't be a friendly week-end for sure.

It had been a few hours now since the plane took off and Yoohyeon was peacefully sleeping on my shoulder, her hand in mine. But since she told me about her few days off with Taehyung, I couldn't help but feel anxious about it. There was no way she was going to date him, I hated the way he kept challenging me all the way. So I had to make my move before him, and for that, I needed first to be sure that I could take care of her properly.

I turned my head to the left and saw on the other side of the aisle Sua watching a movie on the screen in front of her, with Siyeon comfortably sleeping on her shoulder. Great, she wasn't busy and the wolf and the puppy were asleep, it was the perfect opportunity to ask some advices to Sua. I straightened Yoohyeon on her seat as gently as I could and turn to the main dancer.

"Hey, Sua." I whispered, patting her on the shoulder.

"Yeah?" She paused her movie and took out her earphones, turning toward me.

"Can you come with me for a second please? I need to talk to you." I said, pointing at the back of the plane.

"Of course." She agreed, following me along the aisle. "So what's up?" She asked once we were alone.

"Yoohyeon is taking a few days off to leave for the weekend with Taehyung." I want straight to the heart of my concern.

"WHAT?!" She whispered-yelled. "When is she leaving?"

"In two weeks. And I know for sure that it won't be just a friendly trip."

"Of course it won't be that. And knowing Yoohyeon, she would have never suggested this trip herself, especially since she's still head over heels for you. So if he was the one organizing this week-end, he will probably make his move."

"Yes I know, you don't need to remind me that." I said, massaging my temples. But seeing the hurt expression on Sua's face, I understood that my tone was a bit too aggressive, especially when she was trying to help me. "Sorry, I didn't mean to speak like this to you."

"It's okay, you're stressed and I would also be if I was in your position." She reassured me, gently patting my shoulder. "But be careful because Yoohyeon was often hurt by your impulsive comments. And you don't need be to remind you which one I'm talking about, right?"

Of course not. There wasn't a day that I didn't regret what I said to her. 'I don't need you.', 'Why are you so selfish?', 'You wouldn't want to disappoint the fans Yoohyeon, right?'. I was a real bitch to her back then, I didn't know how she did to still love me after everything I did to her. In a normal day, I would have thought that I didn't deserve her even today but I couldn't. Taehyung was going to take her away from me in a few days and I couldn't let that happen. I was going to prove her that I changed and take her back to me.

"So what should I do then? I can't confess to her just like that." I asked her.

"Hum, let me think." She said, touching her chin. "Maybe you could act like her girlfriend."

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"Act as if you were her girlfriend but without her knowing. For example, take care of her, organize dates, give her some affection, things like that, you see? And without telling her what you're doing of course. Let's not give her hopes if in the end you feel like you're not able to take care of her correctly."

"Damn, you're a genius!" I said excited with a large smile on my face.

"Of course! I'm Queen Sua after all." She answered with a smirk.

"And if I feel ready, I would confess to her just before her trip, right?"

"Indeed. Because actually, she's really confused by everything so, if he asks her to become his girlfriend, she could accept on a whim."

"Okay, thank you so much for everything Sua." I said, hugging her tightly.

"No problem little bunny." She chuckled, patting my butt. "Now go back to her and show her what you've got!" She added before we went back to our seat.

**********

And during the whole flight, I had her hand in mine, her head peacefully resting on my shoulder. It felt so right to have her like this next to me and I couldn't imagine her with anyone else, especially him. She was only mine and nobody could take her away from me.

After a few hours, we finally arrived at the airport of Incheon. I gently shook Yoohyeon to wake her up but, as usual, it wasn't that easy.

"Yoohyeon, wake up, we just landed." I said with a soft voice, caressing her cheek.

"Already?" She asked, slowly opening her eyes.

"Yes. Come on, we're going to meet our Korean Insomnias again!" I tried to motivate her.

"Oh yes, that's great." She answered with a yawl. But suddenly, her eyes widened. "My makeup isn't done!"

She quickly grabbed her bag under her seat and put down the table in front of her, emptying the contents of her bag on it and making her mirror fall in the process. She bent down to pick it up but hit her head on the table when she straightened up.

"Oh, clumsy puppy." I chuckled, gently rubbing the spot she hit. "Give me your makeup, I will do it for you."

She handed me her palette and I started working. I chose to go for a light makeup, because we didn't have a lot of time but also because she didn't need anything to impress our fans with her beauty. Plus, they all loved when we were natural. But I knew that Yoohyeon wasn't comfortable showing up without makeup on. A hint of pink on the eyelid, a thin line of eyeliner and a little foundation to even out her skin tone and it was perfect. It had been so long since I did her makeup and honestly, I missed that. This intimate moment with just the two of us, our faces only a few inches away. But after our break up, I stopped to do that with her, I felt uncomfortable and I could feel that she wasn't well either. But now, I took advantage of the situation and enjoyed the moment, I needed this intimacy to come back.

Finally, the last step, the lipstick. I took a natural color and started to apply it on her lips. They were hypnotizing, curving under the movement of the lipstick. I put some on her lips and then used my finger to correctly distribute the color. I placed my hand on her cheek and worked on her lips with my thumb. Her soft lips, at just a few inches away from me, completely at my mercy. If only I could taste them again, just likeyesterday, completing losing myself in them. Just one move and they were mine. One move. One little move.

But suddenly, her face moved away from mine, bringing me back to reality immediately.

"U-Unnie, I think I c-can take care of that m-myself, t-thank you." Yoohyeon stuttered, blushing madly. Gosh, she was so adorable.

"Of course you can, I was just helping." I justified myself with a warm smile.

I quickly put her things back in her bag while she recovered from her emotions and took her hand in mine, pulling her out of the plane. Now that I knew what she was feeling for me, I knew the affect I had on her and I was definitely going to use that to win her back.

**********

After 2 endless hours in the car, we were finally back home. At first, I fought to not fall asleep in case Yoohyeon sent me a message from the other car saying she needed help. But deep inside, I knew that I would be the last member she would ask for help. So after a bit, I let myself fall into dreamland, the only place where Yoohyeon was truly mine.

Once we arrived back at the dorm, I ran to my room and jumped on my bed, exhausted. This trip really killed me. I felt I was falling back asleep when I heard a discussion that triggered me.

"Yoohyeon, where are you going this late?" Siyeon asked.

"I'm going to pick up Pie at my brother's place." She said, as I heard her put her shoes on.

"Do you really think 1am is a good hour to pick up your dog? And is your brother still up even?"

"Yes he is, he's waiting for me. At first, he wanted to come here by car, but he can't leave his apartment, his girlfriend is joining him in a bit and she doesn't have the keys."

"Okay, I understand. Then I'm coming with you, there's no way I'm letting you alone in the street at this hour."

Damn, this was the perfect opportunity to be alone with her. If only I hadn't gone straight to my room, I should have checked on the members first. Now, Siyeon was leaving with her and I was losing time to win her back before Taehyung could take her away from me.

"Wait!" I heard another voice, probably Sua. "I think Minji offered to go to the convenient store to buy us something to eat now. I don't know for you but I'm starving. So maybe it would be more intelligent if she goes with the puppy instead. Don't you think so my beautiful wolf?"

Thank you Sua! I immediately stood up from my bed and ran to the living room, bumping in the doorway in the process but it didn't matter.

"Yes, she's right!" I said, trying to hide my excitement. "Plus, I need to relax my legs and walk a bit after all these hours sitting." I added.

"Good idea unnie! I must admit that I'm starting to be hungry too." Siyeon confessed.

"Great! Then Sua, can you send me a list by message of all the things you want please?" I asked, putting my shoes on. I knew she was going to make a list for a king's feast but I didn't care, she fully deserved it after what she did for me, she was my savior.

We waved at the other members and went out of the building, deciding to first pick up Pie. We first walked quietly side by side, without a word. How could I start a discussion? What could I say first? Why was I even nervous? It wasn't like we never were only the two of us after all. But this time was different, I wanted to show her how glad I was to have this moment with her. Would it strange if I just told her like this? But how could I phrase it? 'Hey I'm happy to walk just with you at 1am.' No it was stupid and mostly, it was going to make her feel uncomfortable. Then, maybe I could show her? I look at her hand and hesitate for a moment, wouldn't it be a bit awkward for her if I suddenly held her hand?

But she quickly took me out of my thoughts as soon as she went closer to me and linked our arms together, leaning her head on my shoulder. I suddenly stopped breathing and my heartbeat fastened in a second. Gosh, I was reacting just like a high school teenager.

"Ah, I'm exhausted." She sighed.

"Me too. The flight was way too long." I smiled. We had finally something to talk about and I was feeling less tensed with this proximity.

"Definitely. Oh, by the way!" She said, straightening up. "When I woke up, I saw that you put a pillow between my head and your shoulder. Was I too heavy? You should have push me aw-"

"No!" I answered a bit too fast. "I mean... no, you weren't too heavy."

"Are you sure? Because, I wouldn't have mind if you had push me away. I mean, the seats aren't uncomfortable."

"No, I didn't want to wake you up. You're way too cute when you're sleeping." I turned to her with a smile, earning me a blush from her. I loved it when her shy side showed up, she was too adorable. "But if you want to know, I put a pillow because I was scared that you might not be comfortable enough on my shoulder."

"Really?" She asked with a smile. I could see that she was touched by this action and that was all I was asking for. "But your shoulder is so comfortable though. We can feel that you work out." She said, hugging tightly my arm and putting back her head on my shoulder.

Every action and word from her made my heart beat faster and faster, as if I was falling in love again. I had no doubt on what I was feeling for her and I knew she was feeling the same way but it wasn't a reason for me to go back to her without thinking, I didn't want to hurt her again.

"Oh, and unnie! I'm really sorry we didn't go to the hotel's gym together this week-end. I know we usually do that but... I didn't have time."

"Yes I know... I saw you going in Taehyung's room as soon as he arrived." I said, trying to hide my disappointment.

"Y-You saw me?!" She asked, her eyes wide open.

"Why are you so surprise? Did you do something dirty in his room?" I said with a teasing tone to hide my pain.

"N-No, of course no!" She blushed more and more. "But w-we talk about that in fact..."

"You did?"

"Yes... we agreed that we were both not ready yet for that..." She admitted, looking down.

I like the fact that she was telling me that because it meant that she trusted me, even after everything I did to her. But still, I could see that speaking about this subject pained her and I knew why.

"Look Yoohyeon, I'm sorry for ruining your first time. You didn't deserve that and I was just a bitch." I finally said, stopping and turning her toward me.

"It's okay unnie." She answered, looking down.

"No it's not, I made you suffer horribly and I traumatized you." I tried to catch her gaze.

"Unnie, I forgave you." She added without raising her head.

"You shouldn't."

"But I did!" She said, looking at me straight in the eyes. And despite the darkness of the night, I could see the tears running down her cheeks. "Unnie, since I met you, you became the most important person in my life and I can't live without you, no matter if we are dated or not. You had your reasons to do that and I forgave you. I..." She tried to say but completely broke down.

Without any hesitation, I took her in my arms and hugged her tightly, feeling her arms squeezing me immediately after. I wanted to say something, to excuse myself again, but I knew this was useless. All she needed was to let everything out and I was there to support her.

After a few minutes, she pulled back from the hug and wiped her tears away with the sleeves of her sweater. I was so ashamed to be the one who put her in that state. I knew I didn't deserve nor her forgiveness neither a second chance but I couldn't give up on her. She was the love of my life.

"Are you feeling better?" I asked with a soft smile, cupping her face and wiping her tears away with my thumb.

"... yeah." She answered with a sniff.

"Yoohyeon, I just want you to not feel uncomfortable with me when you speak about relationship or even... sex. No matter what you will do and with who, I will always support you." I told her, gently caressing her cheeks. "And you're also the most important person to me, Yoohyeon, don't forget that. And I deeply regret what I did, I won't hurt you ever again, I promise."

"You promise?" She asked, looking at me with her teary eyes.

"I promise." I confirmed, placing a soft kiss on a forehead.

She hugged me tightly once again before pulling back and taking my hand in hers, leading the way.

**********

After a few minutes, we finally arrived in front of her brother's house. We climbed the few stairs and knocked on the door, immediately hearing the barking of a dog behind. Pie was waiting for her, it was cute.

Her brother arrived shortly after and opened the door, letting the little dog run to her owner. Yoohyeon crouched down and took her in her arms, hugging her tightly.

"Pie, I missed you so much!" She said, bombarding the small animal with kisses.

"And me, you didn't miss me Sis?" Her brother joked.

"Of course I missed you too oppa." She answered, letting Pie on the floor and hugging her brother.

"I see you didn't come alone." He told her, looking at me with not the nicest look. Of course, since I broke her heart, all of her relatives hated me. And I couldn't blame them.

"Hi oppa." I greeted him a bit awkwardly.

"What are you doing here?" He asked me without a hint of kindness.

"I-I..." I started to stutter when I felt a hand grabbing mine. I turned my head to the side and saw Yoohyeon smiling at me, making all the tension leave my body in my second. I knew she already forgave me but if I wanted her brother to do the same, I needed to be confident in front of him and show him that I really cared about her. "I didn't want to let her walk alone in the street so late. It could be dangerous." I explained.

"Hum... good idea." He said, not really convinced by his own words.

"Please be nice to her, she's the best leader I could wish for." Yoohyeon smiled, squeezing my hand in hers to show me her support and I was grateful. "Anyway, I think we'll need to go now. We have to buy food at the convenient store for the others and plus, we are pretty exhausted."

"Why are you complaining? You slept for the whole flight, and on my shoulder more than that." I chuckled.

"And it was really comfortable." She said with her gummy smile.

"I hope!" I laughed with her when I felt my phone vibrate in the back pocket of pants. I took it out to check who it was and as expected, it was Sua. "Yoohyeon, we need to go or your roommate is going to make your bed disappear again."

"Okay! Goodbye oppa, and thank you for having kept Pie for the week-end." She said, hugging one last time her brother before taking my hand in hers and walking away.

"It was a pleasure. And Jiu?" He called me, making me turn around immediately.

"Yes?"

"Please take good care of her." He said, finally smiling at me.

"I will." I smiled back, before taking Yoohyeon's hand in mine and leading her back home.

Chapter Text

Minji's POV:

One week left.

Seven days, 168 hours, 10 080 minutes. In a normal context, it would look pretty long but in my situation, it was way too short. But at the same time, I knew I could do it. After all, in the same amount of time, I already made a lot of progress.

Of course, Yoohyeon realized that I wanted to spend more time with her and at first, it made her a bit uncomfortable. But after a bit, she got used to it and even enjoyed it as much as I did.

Every day, I was waiting for her after her work out session, to come back home together in the evening. I also checked that she was taken correctly her meals and even offered her to grab lunch together at noon. Though, after a few days, Siyeon realized that something was off so I preferred to invite the whole group to erase her suspicious. But of course, I always stayed by Yoohyeon's side. And on Saturday night, I finally took her to watch a horror movie at the cinema. Once again, I offered to all of the members to join, to avoid their attention and, as planned nobody wanted to join, except Siyeon, she loved horror movies. Luckily, Sua came too, even if she was also scared as hell, just to distract her girlfriend and give me some time with Yoohyeon. Though, we both ended up screaming and hugging tightly the arm of our lovers during the whole movie and I almost passed out at the end. But it was worth it, giving me the opportunity to hear Yoohyeon's soft chuckles as I was hiding in the crook of her neck, terrifying by what was happening in front of me. And the big smile she had for the whole evening after the movie made it even better.

On Monday, I was waiting for her once again to grab lunch together. Today, the members were too busy to come with us but I managed to convince Yoohyeon to join, once again with the help of Sua. She might have been the one who pushed me to break up with her back then, she was now really supportive and trusted me to take good care of the puppy. At first, I was really upset at Siyeon and Sua but after a bit, I understood why they did that. Yoohyeon and I both needed this time away from each other and I needed something strong to realize my mistakes. And today, I learned from the past and was ready to try again with her.

I was now waiting for her at the entrance door of the agency. She was all sweaty after the morning training and wanted to take a shower before leaving. I was leaning against the wall, scrolling on Instagram when a voice called me.

"Kim Minji, is that you? No way, where is your glass of alcohol?" Kai chuckled, entering in the agency.

"It's crazy, right?" I smiled at him, putting my phone in my back pocket. "What are you doing here?"

"I have to sign a few last papers with your CEO for the collaboration. Like I arrived later that you, I didn't have time to do it before. And you, what are you doing standing at the entrance door?"

"Hum..." How could I tell him that I was planning to go back with Yoohyeon when he worked so hard to make me move on? He was going to be so disappointed after everything he did for me. Why did I always end up hurting someone I cared about? But I had to tell him, I couldn't keep this relationship I had with him if I wanted to go back with Yoohyeon, it wasn't respectful toward both of them. "I-I'm waiting for Yoohyeon, we are going to grab lunch together."

"It's finally evolving?!" He asked with excitement.

"W-What do you mean?" I was confused.

"Yoohyeon and you. When did you change your mind about her? At the party? She was so drunk after seeing us together, I bet she confessed to you."

"H-How do you know?" I asked, shocked by what I just heard. I didn't even know that he saw her at the party.

"Remember the evening we spent together at the bar? After telling me your story, you seemed like you completely gave up on her and I knew you were way too stubborn to change your mind. So if you weren't going to make the first move, I had to make Yoohyeon do it. And what's better than jealousy to wake someone up?" He smirked at me.

"No way!" I yelled, hitting his shoulder but with a big smile on my face. I didn't know if I should have been upset that he manipulated us or grateful for opening my eyes. But suddenly, something crossed my mind. "A-And Taehyung? He seems to like her a lot. What do I do with him?"

"For him, I also have something in mind but it's complicated, he's really attached to Yoohyeon."

"Yes, and he's even taking her away this weekend." I said, sighing.

"What? Damn, that wasn't in my plan." He said, thinking about something. "I won't see him so soon and I can't do anything in just a week, you will have to take your girl back before he does."

"Okay, I understand. I will do my best then." I said, hugging him tightly. "Thank you so much, you can't imagine how grateful I am to you."

"No problem, princess. You're made for each other, it was a pleasure to help you." He answered, hugging me back and placing a soft kiss on the top of my head.

I closed my eyes a few seconds, enjoying the soft contact, when I heard the sound of something falling on the floor at a few meters away from us. I opened my eyes immediately and saw Yoohyeon crouching down to get her phone back.

"S-Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you. If you can't anymore, it's okay unnie. I-I will eat with the girls." She stuttered, going back to the training room.

"No, Yoohyeon wait!" I called for her, pulling back for the hug and running to her. "It's okay, we can go." I said, taking her hand in mine and intertwining our fingers, pulling her at the exit.

"A-Are you sure? I don't want to bother y-"

"You're not bothering me Yoohyeon. I was the one inviting you and I would never cancel it for anyone." I smiled at her, trying to reassure her.

"O-Okay, then let's go I guess."

"Yes, let's go!" I said, waving at Kai and leaving the building with the love of my life.

It felt so heartwarming to see that so many people supported me and trusted me, despite what I did in the past. Now, I couldn't fail anymore. I couldn't risk hurting Yoohyeon again and disappointing all the persons who believed in me.

**********

One day left.

24 hours, 1 440 minutes. It was my last chance, I had to tell her today or I was going to lose her for good.

After the morning training, as usual, we all left the agency together to take something to eat and enjoy the lunch together. And as everyone was finishing their meals, my plan could start.

"Girls, I need your help." I said to Siyeon and Yoohyeon after taking them to the side, making sure that the other members couldn't hear.

"Of course! What do you need us for?" Siyeon asked me.

"Sua's birthday is really soon and I'm planning to get her present this afternoon. But the shop is out of Seoul and I will need the whole afternoon to get it. Yoohyeon, I would like you to accompany me and Siyeon, I need you to distract your girlfriend because, knowing her, she will ask where we are." I explained.

In fact, I had no idea of what I would get to Sua but I wanted to have the afternoon with Yoohyeon and I knew that Siyeon would have been suspicious. So that was the only excuse I found.

"Oh, good idea unnie! Siyeon unnie, will you manage to handle your crazy girlfriend?" Yoohyeon chuckled.

"Not so loud or my 'crazy girlfriend' is going to make your bed disappear little puppy." She answered, messing Yoohyeon's hair.

"Unnie, stop!" The poor girl pouted cutely.

"Okay, okay." The wolfie laughed. "And what excuse can I give her?"

"Hum..." I thought. That was true, I should have notified Sua about my plan but I didn't think about it. "Tell her that Yoohyeon had to pick something up at her family's house in Incheon and I took her in car."

"I have a better idea!" Yoohyeon added. "Tell her that my mom wanted to introduce to me another potential husband once again and I went there to refuse him like all the others before!"

"Yeah, because you're already taken by Mister Kim Taehyung." Siyeon answered with a smirk.

"Haha, super fun." Yoohyeon said sarcastically, rolling her eyes, but not without a smile on her lips.

It was true, her mom used to do that a lot, especially after I broke up with her. After all, Yoohyeon was from a traditional Christian family and all of her siblings were already in a serious relationship, except her. She was already 25 years old and didn't have any partner, it was normal for her mother to act this way, regarding her education. But even if she wanted her children to live a traditional family life, she wasn't against our relationship back then and even supported us. So I was going to give her what she wanted for her child. Don't worry Mom, I will take good care of your daughter.

"Okay, it's a good excuse, I will say that to her." Siyeon agreed.

"And I will send her a message before too. Like this, she won't doubt what you say." I added. I planned more to tell her the truth because she would never believe that I was taking Yoohyeon in Incheon to see her potential husband.

"She never doubts what I say, she's way too whipped for that." She smirked.

These two were really cute together, they were really made for each other. If only they saw Yoohyeon and I the same way, it would be so much easier.

"Anyway, I should leave now. Text me if you need anything!" Siyeon said, kissing both of us on the cheek and leaving back to the others.

"Yes, thank you Siyeon!" I waved at her, taking out my phone to send a message to Sua.

'Hey there! I'm taking Yoohyeon on a date for the whole afternoon and I gave at stupid excuse to Siyeon. Act as if you're surprised we didn't come back with you all and bombard Siyeon with questions as you know so well. Thanks!'

"Okay, it's all good, we can go!" I said with smile.

I put my phone in my pocket and took Yoohyeon's hand in mine, guiding her to my car. But as soon as I took place inside, my phone vibrated, she already answered.

'Wow, you planned it on your own, good job! When you're back home, I want to meet with taken Minji and Yoohyeon, I won't accept any of you if you're still single!!!!!'

'Got it!'

I was grateful for everything she did to help me. With Kai and Sua's help, I had all my chances to win her back and with what I prepared, I knew Yoohyeon wasn't going to resist long before falling right back in my arms.

"So what is the present you have in mind?" Yoohyeon asked as she climbed in the car.

"Honestly, I have no idea."

"What?! B-But what are we doing here then?" She stuttered. I didn't know why, but since the start of the week, I felt like she was holding back and acted shy with me. Was it because of something I did?

"We're hanging out together." I said naturally, trying to make it seems like something normal.

"B-But Siyeon, she-"

"We will just tell her that they didn't have it and that we will go another time." I tried to reassure her, putting my hand on her thigh and gently caressing it with my thumb. These last two weeks, I had been really bold in my moves and words but I didn't have time to be shy, time was against me.

"So what do we do now?"

"I prepared a nice little game and I'm sure you will love it." I smiled at her but she wasn't looking at me.

"What kind of game?" She asked, nervously playing with her fingers.

"Do you trust me Yoohyeon?" I asked back, trying to catch her gaze. But the only answer I got was an endless silent until she finally looked at me straight in the eyes.

"Of course I do." She answered with a smile.

"Then let's go." I said, trying to hide my excitement.

**********

"Do you know where we are Yoohyeon?" I asked her as we were getting out of the car.

"Hum..." She thought, looking around her. "At the Korea World Trade Center. Do you want us to do shopping?" She chuckled.

"I know you would love that but I promise that what I prepared is even better." I smiled at her. "In which district are we?"

"Hum... Gangnam."

"Indeed. And you know it pretty well, right?"

"Of course! There is the agency, our dorm and even this convenient store where we eat ramen in secret with Dongie when we are on diet." She smiled at the memory.

"Only that? You disappoint me." I chuckled, pretending to be sad.

"Then what else?" She asked.

"You will discover that with the game I prepared." I said with a smirk.

"Unniiiie, please tell me what is this game!!! I can't hold this suspense anymore!!" She pleaded me with her puppy eyes. Gosh, I may have been used to them in the past, I couldn't resist anymore.

"I prepared a treasure hunt!" I finally said, clapping excitedly my hands.

"Oh my god, that's so cool!!" She cheered, so excited herself. "What is the treasure?"

"You will see! I will give you hints and for each of them, you will have to find the place that corresponds to have another hint and at the end, the treasure!" I explained the rules. But I wasn't sure she really listened, she looked way too excited to understand anything, jumping and giggling nonstop like a little kid.

"Unnie, let's start!" She shook me by the shoulders like she always used to do.

"Okay, here is the first hint." I said, taking an envelope out of my bag, giving it to her.

"Just like all stories, ours began somewhere. Go there and find the second clue if you dare." She read after destroying the envelop out of excitement. "Too easy, the agency!"

"Nop, somewhere else!" I said, chuckling at her facial expression. I probably never saw her think that much before, her brain was going to explode.

"A second hint maybe?" She suddenly asked.

"Second hint? I didn't plan any... wait let me think." How could I make her guess our trainee's dorm? "Okay, I know! Let say that the handle of your suitcase tried to kill you." I chuckled at the memory.

This scene was going to stay forever engraved in my head. I remember how she froze as soon as she saw me enter in the room, it was really fun. And suddenly, she bowed deeply and almost knocked herself out by violently hitting her forehead. What a clumsy puppy, that was one of the many things that made me fall in love with her.

"Oh my god, please don't remind this, it was so embarrassing." She blushed, hiding her face in her hands.

"No, it was cute." I laughed even more.

"So... do we go by car? Because it's pretty far and... I absolutely don't remember how to go there." At this point, even her ears turned red.

"Please, you're running miles every day on your treadmill, don't tell me that a 15-minute walk will kill you! And don't worry for that, we have all the afternoon!" I chuckled as she sighed and started to lead the way.

**********

And as planned, she lost us both and we needed at least 30 minutes to find backthe good way and reach our finale destination.

"Wow... suddenly I feel so nostalgic to see this building again. We were so young..." Yoohyeon said, looking up at the window that used to be our bedroom's.

"For real. You arrived in November 2013, I was only 19. Even Gahyeon isn't that young anymore." I chuckled.

"If someone had told me that I would nail the rock concept and perform all around the world, I wouldn't have believed them."

"Me neither." I smiled, looking at her.

That was crazy how she didn't change a bit but at the same time she was so different. When I was looking at her, I could still see this 16-year-old girl completely lost in this new world while she became so mature and beautiful.

"Sometimes I miss this time, you know. When we had stars in the eyes and no responsibilities, not knowing what was waiting for us." She said. 

"You're right, it was pretty cool. But we were always in competition, trying to be better than the others even if we loved them. At least, now we have our family and, no matter what we will go through, we will go together... like it should have been for Minx's disband."

"No unnie, you-"

"Yoohyeon, I know you all forgave me already." I chuckled. "I just wanted to let you know how I was feeling." I smiled at her, lightly caressing her cheek. "Anyway, do you want the second hint?"

"Yes!"

I handed her another envelope, which she immediately tore open to retrieve its contents. But this time it wasn't a sentence, it was a picture of her and I in front of the school, on the day of her graduation. I remembered that day as if it was yesterday. She was so excited to show me her school, her classroom, her locker and even if she didn't want to admit it, I knew that she especially wanted to impress her classmates with her girlfriend, even if she couldn't say that we were official. And it worked pretty well, they all froze as soon as I arrived in their class, just like her the first day we met.

"Jinseon girls' high school?" She asked, titling her head to the side.

"Yep! Do you remember the way or do you want me to take you there? Because if we need 30 minutes to go to every spot, you won't find the treasure that soon!" I mocked her.

"Super not funny unnie!" She pouted. "We will be there in 5, you will see!" She said, taking my hand in hers and guiding me to our next destination.

**********

Once again, she almost lost us but noticed it before I could tell her so, as she planned it, we arrived there in no time. We went to the entrance door and the security guard let us in, knowing that I called the school the day before. We both entered and headed to the main hall where cabinets of trophies and numerous photos of the students rested.

"Wow... It's been a long time since I came here. It looked bigger in my memory." She chuckled, looking at the pictures on the wall. "Orh, I remember this girl, I hated her. She was always talking down to me and had a big crush on you. I wanted so much to tell her that you were mine, just to see her expression." She said, pointing at a girl on one of the pictures.

"Oh, so that's why you were so clingy with me around your classmates, you wanted to make her jealous." I laughed. Of course I knew it, the puppy was too obvious that day.

"Y-Yes... But it worked pretty well!" She defended herself, now switching to the trophies. "'Best dancer 2014: Jeong Minseo', that was because they didn't know Sua unnie. But I agree, she was really talented and pretty." She said, looking at one of the cups.

"Prettier than me?" I chuckled, pretending to be hurt.

"No one was prettier than you unnie." She smiled at me.

"Of course." I said confidently, looking at the pictures exposed. "Hey Yoohyeon, look at this." I called her.

I just found a pictures from the day of Yoohyeon's graduation. She was holding bouquets of flowers we bought for her while I was holding her diploma, Siyeon and Sua next to us and the wolf and the puppy's name under the photo. It didn't cross my mind when I took her back here, but Siyeon and Yubin were also students in this school, so it was normal that they were mentioned.

"Sua unnie with short hair was really something!" She laughed. "And oh my god, what the hell was this haircut of mine? I had questionable tastes."

"Don't say that, I liked this haircut." I chuckled, caressing her hair.

"Yeah, I saw that. You kept playing with my hair for the whole day in front of my classma- oh unnie!" She started to say when she had a revelation. "I know why you did that! You noticed that I wanted to make this girl jealous!"

"Of course I did, you were so clingy and you never acted so bold in public!" I laughed as she started to become red.

"I'm so ashamed now." She said, hiding her face in her hands. "But I should have known, you always managed to understand me without any words."

"And I still can." I smiled at her. "But I also noticed that a girl was looking at you a bit too much, so I wanted to make sure she knew that it wouldn't be possible for her." I smirked.

"Orh unnie, you were so jealous." She laughed.

It made me so happy to not see any hint of sadness on her face when she was talking about us. Our old good memories made her smile and that was all I was asking for. That was mainly for this reason that I organized this date, to remind her how happy we were together back then. And seemed like my plan was working.

"Now, want the last clue?" I asked.

I was probably hurrying her, but more time I spent with her sharing memories, more I wanted to go back to what we had, to be able to hold her and kiss like I used to do, to tell her how much I loved her. But before that, I wanted to go to the end of the date I prepared. I already knew how and where I wanted to confess and I knew it would be perfect. After all, she deserved no less.

"Sure. Another envelope I guess?" She answered.

"Yes!" I said, giving it to her.

And once again, she didn't hesitate to tear it open. Now I had something new on my to-do list, teach Yoohyeon to open an envelope properly.

"When you're tired and overwhelmed by what you feel, what's better than sit on a bench in front of the river to forget everything?" She read, before raising her head and looking at me in the eyes, smiling at me. "The bench where you took me during my first day here, and then for all the ice creams you offered me."

'The place where I refused to go so many times to focus on work when you deserved it so freaking much.' I wanted to add. But I held back and simply nodded at her correct answer.

"Let's go then." She said with the biggest smile, linking our arms together and leading the way. It pained me to see how much she missed going there and I promised myself to never make her suffer like this again.

**********

It was now the end of the afternoon when we arrived at our final destination, probably around 5pm. My heart started to beat fast and I was more and more anxious at the thought of confessing to her. Even if she still had feelings for me, maybe she wasn't ready to start again what we had. After all, I made her suffer like no one ever did before.

"Our good old bench." Yoohyeon said, sitting on it. "Honestly, I can't even count the number of ice creams that we have dropped on it."

"Speak for yourself! I never dropped any of mine, it was always you!" I laughed, lightly hitting her shoulder.

"Yes probably, haha." She chuckled, blushing a bit. "But the ice cream was melting way too fast! And my younger self was so clumsy also..."

"So you're saying that you're not anymore?" I mocked her.

"Well, I wouldn't spill my ice cream anymore." She said crossing her arms on her chest, looking at me with a confidence look.

"Want to try your chance again? Look at the name of the ice cream's shop we used to go." I chuckled, pointing at the shop behind her. And as soon as she turned around, a big smile appeared on her face.

"'Seoul's treasure'" She read. "So the ice cream was the treasure you made we search for all the afternoon?"

"Are you disappointed?"

"Not even a little bit, that's the best treasure I could find." She said with the biggest smile, not able to hide her excitement and pulling me toward the shop like a little kid.

We grabbed our ice creams and quickly went to sit back to our favorite bench, without saying anything, just enjoying each other's presence. It was one of the many things I liked about being with her, we could stay silent and still understand the other without an inch of discomfort.

But I still managed to be anxious, it was now time to tell her how I felt. The time and the place were perfect, I had to tell her now knowing that after that, nothing would be the same again, whether she accepted my feelings or not.

I was nervously playing with the hem of my shirt when I felt a heaving stare on me. Just like the first time I took her there, it was exactly the same kind of look, a look full of love and admiration. It was true, she still loved me, why was I stressing? I turned toward her with a smile, my confidence suddenly back.

"Yoohyeon, are you okay? Do I have something on my face?" I asked, remembering what I told her the first time.

"Hum... what? N-No, t-there nothing." She said, looking away to try to hide her red cheeks. She was so cute, even after almost 10 years, she still had the same reactions.

"But you on the other hand, yes." I laughed. "You have some ice cream on the corner of your lips. Wait don't move." I said, noticing a bit of ice cream on her face.

I brought my hand to her face and gently put it on her cheek, wanting to clean it with my thumb. But something crossed my mind, if telling her how I felt was making me anxious, why not showing her? She deserved to know how I felt and I knew that she would understand all the love I had for her through this kiss. It was our moment and I couldn't let it slip away. I closed my eyes and leaned in when... her phone rang, making her immediately move back. Shit.

"Y-Yeah Gahyeon ?" She asked, picking up the phone. "O-Okay, I'm on my way back, see you." She added, standing up and putting her phone in her back pocket.

"W-What is happening?" I asked, trying to hide the disappointment in my voice.

"Gahyeon needs me to fill a document in English and it's pretty urgent. We should probably go." She said, already leaving without even looking at me.

"Wait!" I stopped her by grabbing her wrist and making her turn toward me. "Yoohyeon, I want to tell you something. Listen, I-" I tried to confess but she cut me before I could say anything.

"Unnie, later. Gahyeon needs me, we have to hurry." She said, pulling her arm out of my grip, tearing my heart apart in the process. Was it really what she felt when I pushed her away?

And without a glance back, she walked back to where the car was parked, forcing me to just follow her like a sad and hurt puppy. Was it the price I had to pay for hurting her that much, living the same thing? But as long as it leaded me back to her, I was ready to undergo everything.

**********

We quickly drove back to the apartment and Yoohyeon spent more than an hour with Gahyeon while I was alone in my room thinking about how I could fix this situation. 7:30pm, was displayed on the clock and she was going to leave early in the morning so I had to tell her before going to sleep. But this time, it was Dongie who helped me by taking Gahyeon and Siyeon out after diner while Sua and Yubin were chilling in their own rooms, to give me some time. And luckily, Yoohyeon accepted to spent some more time with me, watching movies in the living room. It was now 9pm, why were the members eating so slowly? Plus, Handong told me that they would be back around 11pm, I only had 2 hours left.

We started the movie but I couldn't focus on it, I kept thinking of how to tell her how I felt but it made me so anxious. Plus, she looked so distant with me at the moment, she didn't even react to my hand on her thigh, just like the beginning of the afternoon. I had to make her comfortable again but I wasn't confident enough myself.

'I can't hold them back much longer, we're coming back in 30 minutes.' Dongie suddenly texted me.

Shit, I couldn't wait anymore, it was now or never. I took a deep breath and grabbed her hand in mine, turning her attention to me.

"Look Yoohyeon, I need to tell you something really important. I-" I started but she cut me in my track.

"C-Can you pause the movie for a second please? I'm going to the bathroom." She lied, standing up and leaving.

Did she know what I wanted to tell her? Maybe she wasn't ready after all. Being in love with someone never meant that you wanted to date that person, especially with what I did to her. She probably didn't trust me anymore and I would understand that. But even if she didn't accept my feelings, I still wanted her to know how I felt about her.

After 10 minutes, she came back and took the remote, resuming the movie without saying anything. I knew she was trying to avoid a conversation but the girls were going to come back at any moment and I had to tell her. I took the remote from her hands and paused the movie to have her full attention.

"Yoohyeon please, I need you to listen to me, it's really important. I-" I tried to say again but suddenly, the entrance door opened.

"Hey unnie, we're home!" Gahyeon said, entering in the apartment with Handong and Siyeon. Seriously, the world was against me or what?

"What are you doing?" Siyeon asked.

"Watching a movie. Wanna join?" Yoohyeon said, moving away from me on the couch.

"Sure!" The wolfie answered, putting off her shoes.

She walked to us and sat between us on the place Yoohyeon let her. And, as if it wasn't enough, the puppy didn't hesitate and immediately put her arms around Siyeon's waist and leaned her head on her shoulder. For real Kim Yoohyeon, you're going to drive me crazy!

And just like that, we started to watch the movie all together but honestly, I felt like the third wheel being alone on the side of the sofa while the other two were cuddling as if I wasn't there. And seeing how Yoohyeon was yawning more and more, she was starting to get tired and was probably going to fall asleep on Siyeon's shoulder without letting me the opportunity to talk to her. In this desperate situation, I took my phone out and chose to ask Sua for some help.

'Please help me, I didn't have time to confess but Siyeon is with us and Yoohyeon is starting to fall asleep.' I sent and luckily, her answer was immediate.

'Kim Minji, what do you mean 'you didn't have time'? You had all the afternoon! I'm going to take care of Siyeon but don't delay it too much or you will regret it.' She texted me back before I heard the door of her room opening.

"Wolfie..." She said in a seductive voice as she walked in the living room wearing only a large shirt and no pants. Oh god, I now knew what she meant by 'taking care of Siyeon'.

"Yeah?" Her girlfriend answered, not even taking her eyes off of the screen.

"Are you really letting your girl all alone in an empty room?" She asked with a smirk now that Siyeon noticed her.

"Mmmh... well now that you mentioned it..." She smirked too, standing up and walking to her girlfriend, crushing her lips on the main dancer's ones, immediately moaning in the kiss.

"Ew, you're gross!" I complained. "If you want to eat each other's mouth, don't do that in front of us!"

And without even answering, Sua pulled Siyeon back to her room and closed the door behind them. Sua might have been annoyed by me asking for her help before, but I didn't think it bothered her much right now.

Now that Siyeon was gone, I took the opportunity to snuggle up to Yoohyeon, putting my arms around her waist. And to my biggest surprise, she hugged me back, placing her head on top of mine. But at the same time, it wasn't surprising, even if she didn't want to talk to me now for I didn't know which reason, she still loved me more than anything.

"They're so... ew." She said, chuckling a bit.

"They are for real, yes." I chucked with her. "Plus, they're doing that in your room, I wouldn't want to sleep there after that."

But now that I thought about it, I was sure Sua did it on purpose, using their room to force Yoohyeon to sleep in mine. Smart Sua, smart. But seeing the puppy's face, she just realized now that it was her room too.

"Oh no! Oh my god, how am I supposed to use my room after that without thinking about what they did?" She said, hitting her forehead with the palm of her hand, probably to try to forget something she just imagined.

"I'm sorry for you!" I laughed at her cuteness. "I can't help you a lot but for now, a bed is free in my room for tonight if you want!"

Sua definitely did it on purpose and once again, I was so grateful for that. If I couldn't speak to Yoohyeon face to face, maybe being in a dark room, looking at ceiling would be better? Like this, seeing her expression wouldn't scare me.

"Y-Your room?" She suddenly stuttered, pulling back a little.

"Yes. In Siyeon's bed you know. I don't think she would mind seeing how she's using your room." I joked, trying to make her smile a little. It wouldn't be easy if she wasn't comfortable.

"It's okay unnie, I can just sleep with Yubin, she's used to it anyway." She said, standing up.

"But she's probably asleep. Yoohyeon, I promise there's not any problem with you sleeping in my room." I tried to convince her, standing up too.

"Then, I'm just going to enter quietly, it's okay." She started to get closer and closer to Yubin's door.

No, she couldn't just leave like that after everything I did. I couldn't lose my chance now just because I didn't dare to tell her before. I ran to her and grabbed her wrist, turning her toward me. It was now or never.

"First, listen to me Yoohyeon. I wanted to tell you this all day but you kept running away."

"Unnie, you can tell me when I come back Sunday then. I'm tired now, I-" She said, putting her hand on the door's handle when I stopped her again.

"No, I can't wait. Kim Yoohyeon, I-"

I started to confess but she suddenly pulled her hand away from my grip and opened the door of Yubin's room.

"Good night unnie." She said, disappearing in the dark room without even a glance back.

Too late.

Chapter Text

Yoohyeon's POV:

Even though I was exhausted after this day, I couldn't fall asleep, too much was on my mind. First, what was Jiu trying to do? On one side, she was flirting with Kai and on the other organized a whole afternoon for me. Did she feel too lonely and wanted to get closer to me again, after all those years? But I wasn't her toy anymore, I couldn't let her play with me again like she did before.

And this important thing she wanted to talk to me about, what was it? From what I saw, it could be only two things. Either she wanted to tell me that she was finally official with Kai or she wanted to ask me out again. But in both cases, I didn't want to hear that. Seeing Kai hugging and kissing her at the agency at the beginning of the week hurt me so much. They were definitely made for each other, she was comfortable with him and he was strong enough to handle her, unlike me. Back then, I was so weak and just let her do what she wanted with me. Even if I loved her more than anything, I knew I could never be with her again, but I couldn't see her dating someone else either. In both situations, I was going to get hurt, and that was why I was trying to avoid this conversation with her.

And on the other hand, more time passed and closer I was to 8am, the hour Taehyung was going to pick me up. I was so excited, it was finally the opportunity to leave far from my problems and enjoy some time off.

With all of that, I had to much things to think about to just fall asleep and kept turning in the bed. So much that Yubin almost choked me with the blanket, tired of all the movements and little sighs I was making. After a few times that seemed endless, I turned around and looked at the digital clock on the bedside table: 1:43am. Only? I let a heavy sight out and turned back, trying to find a comfortable position again.

"Kim Yoohyeon I swear, if I hear another sound coming from you, I'm going to knock you out." Yubin suddenly said.

"Maybe it would be better." I sighed again. Seeing how this night started, I knew it would be impossible to fall asleep otherwise.

"Why aren't you sleeping in your room?"

"Sua unnie and Siyeon unnie are doing... dirty things."

"Ew gross. And Jiu unnie's room then?"

"...no."

With someone else, I would have needed to explain but with Yubin, I knew she would understand what I was thinking about, especially with what I told her these last two weeks. I noticed that Jiu was acting so strange suddenly and this talk I had with her about my first time also surprised me. And especially, the fact that I fell on Kai and her hugging at the entrance of the agency didn't leave me indifferent. So with all of that, Yubin knew why I was uncomfortable with Jiu.

And seeing me lost in my thoughts, she suddenly took me in her arms and hugged me tightly. In the daytime, she would have never done that but she knew that right now, I needed it and I was so grateful to have her.

"Close your eyes and empty your head, I will wake you up when it will be time to get prepared. Don't worry Yooh, I got you." She said softy, caressing my hair.

And just like that, I managed to finally get some rest, feeling so safe in the arms of my best friend.

**********

Ding Dong.

Finally, he was here. It's been at least 10 minutes that I was standing in front of the entrance door ready, with my coat and shoes already on, my suitcase next to me and Pie waiting excitedly for she didn't even know what.

"I knew he would arrive earlier." Sua said, leaning against the doorway of our room. "Just like the first evening he came here, he's just too excited."

"Well, I won't complain." I smiled, walking to her and hugging her tightly. "Goodbye unnie, see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow! And Kim Yoohyeon, you are the master of your choices, don't hesitate to tell him 'no'. Did I make myself clear?"

"Yes boss!" I chuckled, imitating the military salute.

She patted my butt one last time before letting me leave the apartment with my suitcase and my dog and join Taehyung downstairs.

"Hey Yoohyeon!" He greeted me, immediately hugging me. "I'm so excited to finally have some days off!"

"Me too, it's been so long!" I answered, hugging him back.

"Hey there little one!" He also greeted Pie who didn't hesitate to jump in his arms.

And without hesitation, he took my suitcase and put it in the trunk of his car, inviting me to sit inside. That was the first time I saw his car, it was pretty big and quite tall and even had a window on the ceiling. It changed from Jiu's car which was more of a saloon car and had nothing fancy. Last year, she wanted to buy it to offer to the members and herself more freedom and it was definitely worth it but she had to pay it with her own money and it was pretty expensive compare to what we have to spend usually.

"Is it your car?" I asked as he climbed into it as well.

"No it's not. I used to have one but my fans learned my license plate and could recognize my car wherever I went to. So now, the agency provides us with cars like this one." He explained while starting the engine and leaving.

"Oh, I see. Well at least, we don't have this problem, we can have our own cars."

It was crazy how every time we spoke together, we learned new differences about each other. We may have been both in the K-pop industry, our worlds were so different. Even if I would have liked our group to be more popular, I didn't regret having this freedom that BTS didn't have anymore.

"So where are we going?" I asked as we entered the highway.

"We're going to Geochang, my hometown." He said with a proud smile.

"If you're taking me there, it must be amazing then." I smiled back.

Since I met him, we shared a lot together, things that we probably never talked with anyone. So him taking me in his hometown showed me how much trust he put in me and I was really honored by that.

"It is. Plus, it's a really little city and people don't really know me so we don't need to hide there." He said. "Oh, and also! You have to tell me something, my family want us to sleep at home but I can understand that you might feel uncomfortable. So I also booked a hotel room that we can cancel. So you decide, my home or the hotel, both are fine with me."

What he just told me really touched me, he was ready to sacrifice some time with his family to make me comfortable. We didn't spend a lot of time together but every time we saw each other, I could feel how much he cared about me in all of his actions and with that, I could tell that he was one of the softest persons I met in my entire life. But nevertheless, I couldn't let him put the others before himself all the time and if he couldn't think of his own needs, then I would do it for him.

"Thank you for the offer but honestly, I don't mind going at your place. It will give me the opportunity to visit your house and meet your parents after all!"

"And my brother! I'm sure you will love them, they already love you a lot at least!" He said as his smile was becoming bigger and bigger. "But my brother might fall in love with you, be careful!"

"You talk to them a lot about me?" I chuckled.

"Yeah I did! My little sister also wanted to meet you but unfortunately, she wasn't available this weekend."

"Then I can't wait to meet them all, I'm sure they are incredible if they look like you." I smiled warmly, squeezing his shoulder.

It had been so long since a last took some days off and I was really glad that my manager accepted. But most importantly, it was the occasion to forget Jiu for a bit and get closer to Taehyung. He was right after all, I couldn't stay stuck on her all my life, I had to move on.

**********

"Mom! Dad!" He yelled as soon as he saw his parents opening the entrance door, hugging them tightly. Was he really ready to give up on that moment just for me?

"Taehyunga, look at the handsome man you became!" His mother said, patting his head. "Oh my god, who is this beautiful lady? Is it this Kim Yoohyeon you keep talking about?" She asked, looking at me.

"Indeed, it's me. I'm Kim Yoohyeon, thank you so much for inviting me." I introduced myself, bowing deeply.

"To be honest, we search your name on internet but you're much prettier in real life!" His father added.

"Thank you very much!" I bowed once again, but this time to him.

But what he just told me made me think about Jiu, she always used to say that too. Gosh Yoohyeon, get her out of your head already!

After taking our stuffs out of his car's trunk, his parents let us in and guided us to our two rooms that were next to each other. Of course, Taehyung used his own room while I took the guest one. The room was pretty cozy and had a big bed at the center where rested a towel and a box of cookies with a little word on it saying 'Welcome Yoohyeon!'. His family was really the cutest, I already liked them a lot.

I quickly put my things away in a corner of the room and opened the door to leave but violently bumped into something as soon as I came out. I needed at least a few seconds to find back my balance and realized what I just hit, or more who. In front of me was standing a tall man around my age with a smirk on his face. Who was he and what was he doing behind my door?

"Hey princess, watch where you're going." He said still with a smirk on, leaning on his arm against the doorway.

"Jonggyu, you're scaring her, stop that." Taehyung interrupted him, putting an arm around his shoulders. "Plus, you have no chance with her so just give up."

Jonggyu, I knew this name. In the car, Taehyung told me that it was the name of his younger brother who happened to be born in 1997 too. I learned that when the BTS member left for Seoul, her siblings were mad at him for leaving them. They were all still very young and lived this as an abandonment from their older brother, what also hurt Taehyung in the process. This new change was a really difficult step for the whole family and luckily today, they made up and were okay with each other.

"What do you mean 'I have no chance'?" His little brother argued. "We are the same age, of course I have all my chances! Plus, you should be nice to me, I just walked your dog!"

"So what? Because you took care of Yeontan once, I should kneel before you?" He chuckled. "Come on Yoohyeon, let me present you my son." He said with a smile, grabbing my hand and guiding me downstairs, Pie following us.

And as soon as we went down the stairs, we suddenly heard a light bark coming from the kitchen. Surprised, I look behind me and Pie was still here, was there another dog in the house? But something crossed my mind. How stupid was I, Taehyung and his brother just spoke about his dog, Yeontan. And at this thought, a black-and-tan Pomeranian dog ran to us. Pie didn't hesitate and immediately went to him to start to sniff each other. But Taehyung interrupted them, taking his dog in his arms and hugging him tightly.

"Yeontan! I miss you so much!" He said, kissing him everywhere.

"You complain that I scare your girlfriend but you do the same thing with your dog!" His brother mocked him.

Girlfriend? Did Taehyung present me to his family as his girlfriend? After everything that happened between us, I knew we weren't just friends but we weren't official either and this term made me feel uncomfortable.

"She's not my girlfriend." Taehyung answered him as if he was reading in my mind. "We're just friends." He added, placing his dog back on the floor to let him play with mine.

"Yeaaah of course..." His brother didn't seem really convinced. "But if that's the case, then I can try." He smirked, putting his arm around my shoulder.

"Don't touch her." Taehyung said, separating us by pulling me to him. What the hell was happening here?

"Boys, please. Behave correctly, you're scaring the lady!" Their mother scolded them. "Darling, do you want to eat something? You must be hungry after this long trip, no?" She asked me with a smile. Looking at her, I could understand where Taehyung's softness came from.

"Thank you for the offer but we already ate on the way here." I bowed respectfully, giving her a sweet smile.

**********

It was already 3pm so Taehyung offered to make me visit the area with our two dogs. We took his car and he drove us to the Hwangsan Hanok Village at 30 minutes from Geochang. According to Taehyung, this village was the home of the Geochangshin clan long ago and there were even a 600-year-old zelkova tree there called 'Angjeong-sewa' which welcomes visitors. It was so amazing how passionate Taehyung looked while talking about the history of his city and its surroundings, a large smile formed on his face. And even if we weren't speaking about each other, I felt like coming here with him made us grow closer. 

We spent at least 3 hours there, talking and playing with Pie and Yeontan while walking in the village. The setting we were in was incredible, traditional houses all around us and we even walked to a huge field of rice where we could sit on a bench and enjoy the view before us. 

After a bit, we cameback to the car and Taehyung took me to Geochang Changpowon Gardens, the first local garden of the area. But as we arrived there, it was already 7pm, so we decided to just sit on a bench and enjoy this calm atmosphere, the warmth of the sun caressing our face and the softness of the colorful flowers around us soothing our senses. Before today, I didn't know how much I needed this weekend to find myself and forget all of my problems but Taehyung was right, it was really an amazing idea to take me here. 

"Thank you so much Taehyung, you can't imagine how much I needed this."I said with a satisfied sigh, placing my head on his shoulder. 

 "It's a pleasure to have you here. In all of my friends from Seoul, you are only the second who came here with me." He confessed, taking my hand in his and intertwining our fingers. 

"Only? And I guess the first one is Jungkook, right?" 

 "Yeah, you're right." 

"Then, I must be really important to you." I chuckled, straightening up my head to watch our dogs play together a bit farer from us. 

"You can't imagine how much." He said, turning to me. "Yoohyeon, before meeting you, I felt so lost in this world of fame, suffocated by this pressure. I smiled so much less and started to feel tired of what I was doing. And then you came in and suddenly, it felt like the sun was coming back in my life. Maybe it sounds stupid but it's true, every time I'm with you, I feel like I can finally be myself again, without thinking about what my members could think, what my manager could think, what my fans could think. You showed me why in the first place, I liked being idol, and you made me love it again. And when I'm with you, I feel valued and not only for my name or my face. Kim Yoohyeon, you can't imagine how much you changed my life." He explained, putting his hand on my cheek. 

Was I really that important to him? Me, the clumsy girl who kept messing everything and had no self-confidence meant so much to him? His words warmed my heart, all this time, I thought that I was the only one who needed the other in this relationship and I didn't notice what I could mean to him. He made me feel so important and he looked at me the way I couldn't, strong and beautiful. With him, I felt safe and could forget my daily life to have a moment with only him and I, far from the rest of the world. 

"You can't imagine how important you are to me too." I started. "Since I met you, you have been my anchor, you had been the one to save me from sinking under my feelings. You help me to fix the mess that my mind was and you had always been there for me, no matter if I draw the attention of a whole room to you." We chuckled. "Thank you so much for entering in my life, I... I..." I tried to continue but was distracting by his face at only few inches away from me, his parted lips almost calling for mine. 

He was looking at me with so much softness, his thumb gently caressing my cheek. The last time someone looked at me this way, it was just yesterday, at the Han river with Jiu. But I knew nothing would really be like before and I had to move on. Taehyung had been the only one with who I could forget her and I knew I would be happy with him, he was the most caring and sweet person I ever met and I genuinely loved him. 

 Suddenly, his face got closer from mine and he closed his eyes, tilting his head to the side. But strangely enough, unlike yesterday, I felt ready to take the plunge and give upon everything for him. I knew my life would be completely different but it was worth it. I closed my eyes and leaned in, wanted to feel his lips on mine. 

But just at only an inch away from each other, his phone rang, breaking our special moment. Why now? He moved back and took his phone out of his pocket, looking at the name displayed on the screen. 

"It's my dad... sorry." He said with a sad tone, picking up the phone. "Hey Dad, what's up?... We are at the Geochang Changpowon Gardens... Now?... Okay, we're coming, see you." He said, ending the call. "They started to prepare the dinner, we need to go." 

"Oh okay, I understand." I nodded with a little smile, a bit disappointed by this sudden interruption. We stood up from the bench and picked up our dogs, walking back to the car holding hands.

**********

"So Yoohyeon, you're not from Seoul, right?" Her mother asked while we were dinning.

"That's right, I'm from Incheon." I answered.

Since they didn't know what I liked to eat, they prepared a whole feast with all kind of food and everything was just so delicious. I really didn't regret to have chosen to come at Taehyung's place instead of the hotel. He could finally see his family again and I could meet them too. They were really nice to me since I arrived and his brother was super fun, trying to act like a bad boy when in fact, he was just a softy.

"We saw that you were in another group before Dreamcatcher. So I guess that you left for Seoul really early, no?" Her mother continued.

"My agency took me in when I was 16, just like Taehyung." I explained. "Honestly, it was really hard and at a certain point, I was ready to give up. But my actual members helped me a lot to get better and now, I don't regret having fought for it." I smiled.

In fact, Jiu was the one helping me the most but thinking back at this time only hurt me, reminding me how she fooled me back then. I was really grateful for her help as a friend but I should have never started a romantic relationship with her, it just destroyed what we had built together.

"Yes I can imagine that. Our Taehyung also suffered a lot during his training time. He used to call us a lot, crying and saying he wanted to come back. But luckily, his friend Jungkook helped him a lot to face his difficulties. And today, I'm sure he's glad that we pushed him to fight for his dreams. Right kid?" His father said.

"Yes you're right Dad. It's hard to be trainee if you're alone. But Yoohyeon and I both fought and now, we are the happiest." Taehyung said with a soft smile, holding my hand under the table.

I smiled back at him and squeezed his hand, showing him that I agreed totally with what he said. But when I looked at his brother, he was watching us with a smirk on and an eyebrow raised. Since we came back from our afternoon, he kept teasing us and I found it pretty fun now.

"Yoohyeon, I wanted to thank you." He mother told me with a sweet smile, taking my other hand on the table. "Since Taehyung met you, we all noticed how happier he was. You literally lightened up his life, giving him what his fame took away from him. So thank you a lot, we all are really grateful."

"Oooh Mom, stop that!" Taehyung blushed, hiding his face in his hands.

"What? I think it's important that she knows it!"

"She already does, I told her..."

"And how should I know? Plus, I wanted to thank her myself!"

"It's my pleasure Madam. And he helped me just as much as I helped him." I smiled, trying to contain my laugh seeing Taehyung all red.

"You really complete each other then." His father said. "I advise you two to stay close to each other, I'm sure you will need each other in the future."

"Plus you're cute together." Jonggyu added. "Even if I would be better for you princess." He smirked at me what made me laugh but not Taehyung.

"Of course not! Go play with the girls of your age in the kindergarten, kid." Taehyung joked, messing his hair.

"Hey, I'm the same age as him!" I pretended to be offended. "Am I a kid in the kindergarten too?"

"Yes you are! Look, you can't even make pasta without burning yourself and destroying your kitchen!" He mocked me.

"Not cool..." I pouted.

"But don't worry baby, I will take care of you." He smiled, caressing my hair.

Suddenly, I became redder than a tomato. Did he just say that in front of his family? And did he really call me 'baby'? Now, it was my turn to hide my face in my hands what created a burst of laughter around the table.

**********

During the evening, Jonggyu went out to hang out with some of his friends and Taehyung's parents chose to just chill in their room and let us the living room to watch a movie. And after a lot of discussion, we ended up choosing an action movie.

"Do you think I'm your pillow?" He chuckled.

We started the evening sitting normally on the couch but to tease me, he laid down on the sofa, pushing me away in the process. So to bother him too, I laid down on him, not caring if I was cutting the air in his lungs. But I wasn't heavy enough to disturb him and he was pretty cozy so we ended up staying like this for a good part of the movie.

"But you're comfortable!" I pouted, not wanting to move from my spot.

"You can thank Hybe's gym for that!"

"I will then." I laughed.

"But if you prefer nice abs and pecs, you should go to Jungkookie or Namjoon hyung. I have volume but unlike them, it's just soft."

"No, I don't like when it's too hard." I said, straightening up a little to touch his pecs with the end of my fingers. "You're all soft, it's better. You are a big bear pillow." I affirmed cutely, putting my head back on his chest.

"And you're a cute puppy." He chuckled. "Strange mix, don't you think?"

"Right." I chuckled with him when I heard my phone vibrate on the little table in front of us. I reached out my arm to grab it and looked at the screen.

'Hey there, how was your day? Do you want to call me to tell me everything?' Jiu sent with a rabbit emoji and a moving sticker of a beating heart.

That was true, every time we were away from each other, during holidays for example, she called us almost everyday to take some news. Usually, I was really excited to call her to tell her what I did and hear her angelic voice again but this time, I didn't want to do that. I left to get her out of my head and heart, so calling her right now wouldn't have been a good idea. I unlocked my phone and sent her a quick answer.

'Hey unnie! I'm busy right now so no need to call. See you tomorrow!'

I clicked the send button and put my phone back down on the table, getting comfortable again on Taehyun's chest. And just like that we fell asleep in front of the movie, holding each other tightly without thinking of anything else.

**********

The next day, we knew we had to leave early because Seoul was 4-hour-drive away and we couldn't arrive too late. So we decided to spend the morning at Suseungdae, one of Geochang's oldest tourist attractions where we could hike and even swim in the river. We spent the morning walking around and trying to not lose our dogs who were smaller than the bushes and found a nice spot next to the river to sit and enjoy the meal we prepared for lunch.

"That's so good!" I said, testing the bibimbap Taehyung's mother made for us. "She's really an amazing cook!"

"For real!" He smiled proudly. "Sometimes, when I eat at fancy restaurant, I can't help but think that my mom's dishes are better and free."

"I never ate in a fancy restaurant before. I'm more like midnight ramyeon in convenient stores." I laughed thinking of Dongie and I's night trips.

"Well it's really good!" He said, suddenly standing up. "Do you have your swimming suit?"

"Hum... yes, you told me to put it on this morning. Why?"

"I'm super hot right now, I'm going to swim a bit. Wanna join?" He asked, pulling off his shoes.

"R-Right now?" I stuttered.

Even if I was all the time wearing short clothes, I was really shy with my body, especially since what happened with Jiu. So being in swimsuit in front of Taehyung was going to make me really uncomfortable. Plus, I felt a bit awkward with my body and had a lot of complexes and seeing hot girls like Sua unnie or Gahyeon everyday didn't help at all.

"Just... don't make any comment but you will see, I'm not well built. I-I mean... I don't have any pecs or... abs or... anything. Yesterday, I was laughing about it but... I have a complex on it..." He said, blushing a bit.

And suddenly, seeing this side of him made me more confident. He was also human and he also had complexes on his body, just like me. But he was still ready to face them now because he trusted me. So I knew he deserved my trust too and I didn't need to hide from him. I stood up and put off my shirt, showing him that there was no need to be shy. It was only him and I and no one to judge us.

I was the first one to get into the water but arriving at knee height, I noticed that the water was colder than I thought. Though, I didn't have time to think about it that I got grabbed by behind and threw under water, arms around my waist. I quickly rose to the surface to breathe and wiped my eyes, seeing Taehyung in front of me laughing so hard.

"Yaaah! The water is so cold!" I complained, splashing him.

And the war started as he splashed me even more, not letting me a second to breathe or even wipe my eyes. I raised my hands up to show him that I was giving up and I heard him stopping too. I brought my hands to my eyes to wipe the water away but suddenly I felt lips on mine kissing me gently. I immediately kissed him back, crossing my arms behind his neck. He was so sweet in each one of his moves, not trying to take the lead but simply following the movement. His hands on my bare back and behind my nape were so gentle, supporting me just enough for me to be comfortable.

After a bit, we pulled away, out of breath, and just looked in each other's eyes, reading how sincere this kiss was. We both wanted it and needed it. And the sweet smile he had on his face only made my heart beat faster.

"Kim Yoohyeon..." He said almost in a whisper, gently caressing my cheek with one of his hands. "Would you be my girlfriend?"

Chapter Text

Minji's POV:

'Hey unnie! I'm busy right now so no need to call. See you tomorrow!'

What did she mean by 'I'm busy'? What was she doing? Was she with Taehyung? They couldn't be doing something inappropriate since she was answering me, right? But why didn't she want me to call her? Was she still trying to avoid me? But didn't she tell me a few days ago that I was the most important person to her? Then why was she running away from me?

Too much questions were in my head and I had no answer for any of them. This evening, I chose to go to bed early, to try to escape from reality with sleep but it had been two hours since I said good night to the others and still nothing happened. It was now past midnight and even Siyeon was asleep but here I was, turning over and over again in my bed without being able to fall asleep. Today had been hell, every single second, I couldn't help but think about the day before and regret that I didn't confess right away. And now that I was in my bed with nothing to do, this same though was haunting my mind even more. If only I had kissed her on that bench, if only I had told everything to her in front of the movie, if only I had prevented her from entering Yubin's room, then I would be with her by now. But the ifs were useless and she was now in the arms of someone else, miles away from me.

"Kim Minji, I beg you, stop moving!" Siyeon suddenly said.

"Oh, sorry Siyeona..." Damn, now I was even annoying my roommate.

"What is happening to you? You always fall asleep quickly."

"I... I don't know." I lied. I didn't want her to know that I was trying to ask Yoohyeon out again but mostly, I didn't want to bother her with my heart problems.

"Stop lying to me unnie. I know that something is on your mind. Just tell me, it's okay."

"Hum... i-it's Sua's gift, I couldn't find it." I lied again.

I knew that she would do anything to help me to get better because she hated seeing me down. So I would have rather tell her something she could fix than something that was hard to do, especially seeing how Yoohyeon ran away from me yesterday.

But the only answer I received was a deep sigh. Of course, she kept saying that to me all the time, I was a really bad liar. I heard her covers move and, a few seconds later, she was in my bed, hugging me tightly. Without any hesitation, I hugged her back, I needed it so badly, a bit of comfort. It wasn't from the person I wished for but Siyeon was my best friend and her hugs were the best.

"It's Yoohyeon." She suddenly said.

How did she guess? Did Sua tell her anything? What she just told me surprised me a lot but after thinking about it, it was pretty normal. We knew each other for more than 10 years, she was my soulmate and she knew me like no one else. Of course she could guess what was bothering me.

"I can imagine it's hard to let her go." She continued when she didn't receive any answer from me. "Sua unnie is the love of my life and I can't imagine living without her. So I can totally understand what you can feel unnie."

I wanted so much to tell her how I felt about it, that I just wanted to confess to Yoohyeon and tell her what happened, but I knew Siyeon would have never excepted. She was against this relationship since Minx and even Sua told me to not tell anything to her. But even if I knew what she felt about Yoohyeon and I together, I wanted to know what she thought about this whole situation with Taehyung.

"What do you thing they are doing this weekend?" I asked in the crook of her neck.

"I don't know, probably hanging out together."

"N-No but I mean... together. Like... do you think something will happen between them?"

In front of the members, I always wanted to look strong and confident and I was for most of them a role model. So I knew that, showing them a weak side of me would affect them, erasing the image of the invincible figure they had of me. But with Siyeon, it was different. She had always been there for me to comfort and reassure me when I needed her. I knew that with her, I could let out freely my worries and she would be here to help me.

"If you're question is: will they have sex, I'm sure that no. Yoohyeon would never do that this early in a relationship, knowing that they aren't even a thing. But seeing what happened during their date here, they could kiss or do those kinds of soft things."

"But she's not even the kind to kiss just like this neither. Do you think that... she feels something for him?"

My heart was beating faster and faster. I knew Yoohyeon was talking to Siyeon so she was probably aware of her feelings toward him. And I was really scared that she did like him because that was making things even more complicated. Plus, he never did anything bad to her so she didn't have any reasons to not try with him.

"Honestly I don't know. You know, since you broke up with her, Sua was the one taking care of her and today, Yoohyeon is speaking mainly to Yubin and her. It's not like before unnie, I'm not the one she goes to anymore."

Fuck. First I destroyed the heart of the person I loved the most, then I made Dongie hate me because of a lie and now, I just discovered that I ruined Siyeon and Yoohyeon's friendship. In fact, I affected the whole group with my shit.

"I'm so sorry about that Siyeona." I whispered, hugging her tighter. After everything I did, how could they still call me their leader and friend?

"Unnie, please don't blame yourself. All along, your intentions were good. But let's say that being her leader wasn't the best thing since it was difficult for you to separate private and professional life. Plus, this jerk of Jaesung didn't help at all."

"Please don't talk about him. Already, we are lucky that he didn't say anything when he left." I sighed, thinking back of him. It was so frustrating to hear him threaten Yoohyeon and the members without being able to do anything.

"Right, he deserved a big punch in his face. And when he left, we talked about it with Sua unnie and we were ready to do our coming out to protect both of you if he dared to denounce you." She confessed.

"W-What? But why? You would have been in so much trouble because of that..." I said with tears in my eyes. Siyeon was really the best friend I could ever wished for, always willing to sacrifice herself for me.

"Yes but the difference was that Sua and I were still both dating while Yoohyeon and you were absolutely heartbroken and you had to handle the group as the leader. Sua and I didn't have any responsibilities so in the worst case, we could have just leave. But luckily, he didn't say anything so we are still all together happy and safe!" She cut the subject, seeing that it was hard for me to talk about it. "And to go back to the puppy, I don't know what she feels for Taehyung."

"D-Do you think he's going to ask her to... be his girlfriend?" I asked, feeling a tear fall down from my eye. Just the thought of it was breaking my heart.

"I don't know him enough to tell you but... probably? I mean, he didn't organize this whole weekend just as a friend I think. But honestly, I have not any idea on Yoohyeon's potential answer."

"Well why would she refuse? He's handsome, nice, famous, rich and he takes good care of her. If I was her, I would have accepted..."

"But if she doesn't love him, why should she say 'yes'? It's not because she's not dating anyone that she has to date. I'm not the best to say that but being single is cool too." She chuckled.

"That's fun, your girlfriend said exactly the same thing some days ago when I didn't know what to do with Kai. You're connected." I finally smiled.

She was right after all. I really liked Kai and these last few days, he was the one who made me smile the most. But I wasn't in love with him and I didn't see my future with him. So thinking that Yoohyeon could be in the same situation warmed my heart.

"Well Sua might be loud and crazy, she's really wise and has good advices. She probably rubbed off on me!" She laughed a bit. "Are you feeling better now?"

"Yes, much better. Thank you so much Siyeon, I don't know what I would do without you." I thanked her, hugging her tightly.

"Now sleep a bit unnie, or you will be tired tomorrow. Good night." She said, placing a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Good night." I answered, before quickly falling asleep in the arms of my best friend.

**********

The following day was horrible, I couldn't stop thinking about her and what they could do together. Despite what Siyeon told me, I was still scared that Taehyung might ask her out. And if she accepted, I would be eternally angry at myself for not having dared to ask her earlier.

"Hey Minji!" Kai answered from the other end of the phone. "How are you?"

"Not good..." I sighed.

In this desperate situation, I chose to call Kai to ask for some help. I knew that he was the only one to have made things move for years so he could probably do something for me or at least reassure me as he knew well how to do.

"What happened? Yoohyeon rejected your feelings?" He asked.

How was I supposed to tell him that I was just a coward and didn't dare to ask her? He was going to be so disappointed after everything he did for us.

"I... I couldn't tell her..."

"Why? Do you feel like she wasn't ready or were you?" He asked with a calm tone as if it wasn't a big deal, what made me relax immediately.

"I don't know, I felt like she wasn't fully comfortable with me and every time I wanted to tell her, she kept running away. Do you think she knew what I wanted to tell her and just didn't want to hear it?" I let out my worries.

"First, I don't have any doubt on how she feels about you. The way she looks at you and gets jealous when I'm with you, she's in love for sure. What did you do these two weeks to get closer to her?"

"Hum... Sua told me to act like her girlfriend to see if I was really ready to take good care of her. So I organized dates and gave her a lot of little attentions."

"Then she must have guess what you wanted to do, she's not stupid."

So she was really running away from me on purpose, she just didn't want to be with me again. And against my will, my tears began to fall from my eyes. I couldn't bear to think that between Yoohyeon and I, it was finished, it couldn't be real. I loved her more than my own life and I just wanted to have her in my arms again. Why did I have to be such a bitch back then?

"Minji, stop crying." Kai took me out of my thoughts.

"I-I'm sorry, it's just... I c-can't live without her..." I admitted between my sobs.

"Please, you're being dramatic." He sighed. "Minji, you're meant to be together so don't give up."

"B-But, she's with Taehyung now and I-I'm sure he's going to ask her out." I said as more tears filled my eyes. Right now, I just wanted to drive to where she was and take her away from Taehyung, away from the whole world, just to keep her for myself.

"So what?" He asked casually.

Usually, his calm tone relaxed me but right now, it just angered me. Couldn't he see that it was important? He was my only chance to fix my mistakes but it looked like he didn't care at all.

"If you're going to be this passive, I'm hanging up." I said, ready to end the call.

"No, wait! Minji, I'm no passive, don't you remember all the things I did for you?"

He was right, he did everything he could to help me and thanks to him, I had the chance to get closer to Yoohyeon again. But I failed to confess to her and I was the only one to blame.

"Yes, I'm sorry..." I sighed.

"Minji, I promise there's not any reason to panic. Unfortunately, now it's too late to do anything, she's spending a whole weekend with Taehyung so there's nothing we can do. And I have no idea if he's going to ask her out or if she's going to accept neither, so just wait for her to come back and then we will see what we will do. But no matter what will happen, don't give up. She loves you more than anything and it's not because she's with someone else that she's going to forget you. Got it?"

"Got it..." I nodded, still sniffing a bit.

"Great. Now, try to stop thinking about, okay?"

"Okay... thank you again Kai, I don't know what I would do without you." I smiled against the phone.

"No problem princess, see you!" He added before ending the call.

Kai was right, the die was cast and panicking and crying was useless. The only thing I could do was pray that nothing would happen between them.

**********

To occupy my mind for the rest of the day, I offered Yubin and Gahyeon to play board games with me and decided to call my brother at the end of the afternoon to take some news.

"... BTS were cool but you were way cooler on stage. Dreamcatcher is the most charismatic K-pop group ever after all!" He said while we were talking about our collaboration with the famous boy group.

"Did you doubt it?" I chuckled. "We have Siyeon as our main vocalist, she's more charismatic than the whole K-pop industry!" I said as I suddenly heard the entrance door open.

"I'm back!" Yoohyeon yelled, going straight back to her room, probably exhausted by her weekend.

"For real!" My brother laughed from the other side of the phone. "Aren't you scared to die when you argue with her?"

"H-Hum... I-I'm sorry, I need to hang up now. I will call you later." I interrupted him, not able to wait to see Yoohyeon again.

"Okay no problem. Call you later sis!"

"Call you later, I love you!" I said, before ending the call and quickly running to Yoohyeon and Sua's room.

But as I arrived in front of their door, I noticed that it was slightly opened, allowing me to hear what they were saying. But at that moment, eavesdropping was the last thing I wanted to do. I just wanted to barge into this room and take Yoohyeon in my arms to tell her how much I loved her and wanted her back. But suddenly, their discussion made me stop in front of the door, hand on the handle. What were they talking about? 

"... asked me out." Yoohyeon said to Sua. 

"No way! He asked you to be his girlfriend?!" Her roommate yelled, shocked by what she just heard. 

"Y-Yes." 

"And what did you answer?" 

My heart was beating so fast right now, faster than it ever did before and every second she spent silent killed me more and more. I knew I didn't deserve a second chance with her but I loved her more than anything and I knew she felt the same so why not try again? But I also knew that Taehyung was someone great and he always took good care of her so she had no reason to refuse. But everything was possible though. 

So now I was waiting in front of her door a response that was going to define our future relationship. Just one word and she was mine again. One word, one little 'no' and I was running to her. Only one 'no'... 

"Yes... I accepted his offer." 

In just a second, I felt my heart break into a million pieces and heavy tears fall down from my eyes. Who could think that a single word could hurt that much? 

I quickly ran away to not let hear my pain and clumsily put my shoes on, my tears blinding my eyes making the task harder, and left far from there, far from her. What was left of my heart burnt in my chest from a fierce fire that was preventing me from breathing properly and this sudden race didn't help me at all, making me fall on my knees at a certain point, out of breath. 

I just wanted to scream out my pain and tear my heart out of my chest to erase all traces of feeling. Loving her was the best thing that happened to me but still, it was what hurt us the most. Why me? Why couldn't I just be happy with the girl I loved? Who turned fate against me? I was ready to give my entire self to her and treat her as she deserved to be but she preferred going to him. 

Now I could truly understand what she felt when I put an end to us and it made me regret everything even more than before. In just a second, I went from a confident leader to a broken mess. I who had always been a strong and exemplary woman in the eyes of my members and my fans was now a pitiful girl trying to pick up the pieces of her heart on the sidewalk. 

After some seemingly endless time, I dragged myself to my car which was a few blocks away from where I was, the large clouds above me forcing me to find a temporary shelter. Indeed, I couldn't let myself get sick during the preparation time of the American tour just for a stupid heartache. But I couldn't go back home yet, I couldn't bear to see her now, all happy and smiling while I was just a broken shit that deserved everything she had. I broke her heart and was now paying the price for it. So my car was the only option left. And just as I got into the vehicle, the rain started falling, as I predicted it. Now, even the weather was punishing me... 

 And just as if my body was reacting to it, my tears fell down at the same pace as the rain, leaving no respite for my tired eyes. I ran away from her to forget the pain in my heart but she was haunting my mind even more. 

'Yes... Iaccepted his offer.' 

Why? I thought that you loved me too. I thought I was the one you wanted. Didn't you tell me that I was the most important person to you? Then why are you in the arms of another one?  So many questions were in my head, but no answer was able to fix my broken heart. 

Between my sobs, I could hear my phone vibrate next to me but I didn't care. At that moment, I just wanted Yoohyeon to pick me up and tell me that everything was going to be fine. Kim Yoohyeon, please, I need you... 

And suddenly, my hopes were rekindled as I heard knocks on the window of the other side of the car, a feminine silhouette blurred by the glass covered with raindrops. Yoohyeon? I quickly wiped my tears away with the sleeves of my hoodie and straightened up on my seat, observing the door that was slowly opened. And after a few seconds, I finally recognized the familiar face smiling at me, unfortunately, it wasn't the one I was waiting for. 

"Hey unnie." Dongie said as she took place in the car and closed the door behind her, all wet by the rain. "We heard you leave in a hurry without a word, so we got worried." She said, taking my hand in hers. 

"Yeah, I..." I tried to say but as soon as I opened my mouth, the tears began to fall again. I had to look so pathetic in Dongie's eyes right now, not even able to put two words together without crying. 

But instantly, I was hugged by two strong and comforting arms, gently stroking my back to calm me down. And strangely enough, it worked pretty well. 

"Unnie, you don't need to say anything, I can already imagine what you must feel." She said in my ear with the softest voice. "Please, don't hold back because it's me, just let everything out, you will feel better after." 

And this sentence was enough to make me break down again, crying all the tears I had left in the crook of her neck while hugging her tightly. I loved Dongie as much as I would love a little sister but, just like with the whole maknae line, I always tried to show them my best side every day and never my weaknesses. So I had never experienced how soft and comforting Handong's hugs could be. 

 After a bit, I pulled back from the hug, a little ashamed to have wet her top with my tears and to have crumpled it with my fists tightened on it. 

"Are you feeling a bit better now?" She asked with a sweet smile, cupping my face with her hands to wipe my last tears away with her thumbs. 

"Yes...thanks to you." I smiled back, sniffling a bit. 

"No problem unnie." She answered, taking her phone out and tapping something on it. "I just need to tell the other members that I found you. They are all searching for you under the rain and I wouldn't want them to get sick." 

"A-All the members? Even..." I tried to say but I knew that pronouncing her name now would just made me cry again and I probably already cried enough for at least a week. 

"Yoohyeon? No, she stayed at the dorm." Hold back, Minji. "In fact, she insisted on coming but we thought she couldn't help you much if she found you first. And same goes for Siyeon, so we asked her to keep an eye on Yooh as an excuse." She said, making me release an unwanted relieved sigh. "Luckily, your amazing Dongdong found you first so you don't need to tell the whole story again!" 

"Yes, right..." I lightly smiled at her enthusiasm. "I don't really how I could have explained everything to Gahyeon..." 

"Indeed, this kid is asking way too much questions." She chuckled, brightening my mood a bit. Who could have guessed that she was this good at comforting people? 

"Dongie...what should I do with her? I know I should be happy for her and congratulate her but... I just can't. All I wanted was to have her back but I was too slow and now... now she's with someone else..." 

"So what? This guy is useless anyway." She said as if it was just a normal thing to say. 

"What?! Are you crazy? You can't talk about her boyfriend like that!" I tried to defend him even if deep inside, what she just said made me so glad. 

"Boyfriend? Nah, he's just a temporary replacement. The girl is lost and plus, that's Yoohyeon we're talking about, she doesn't know what she's doing and she had always been bad at taking important decisions anyway." Now, I understood why the fans called her the ice princess, she had clearly no pity neither for Taehyung nor for Yoohyeon. 

"W-What do you mean? You think she made a mistake?" 

"Of course!" She yelled, making me jump on my seat. "Unnie, would you date someone if you loved someone else?" 

"Hum... no?" 

"I think she was in the same situation as you but she had no one to advise her on the subject so she just decided to date him because there was no other choice. Just like when you hesitated for Kai!" 

Yes, that was exactly what I was thinking too. She was in a dark phase in her life and Taehyung brought her back the sun, just like Kai did with me. But Handong was right, she had no one to advise her correctly so she just went for it on a whim. 

"Then, what should I do?" I asked. For once, I wasn't playing the leader but waited for the instructions and honestly, it felt good to just trust my member to take care of me. 

"Right now, Yoohyeon is super excited about it because it's new to her and it's been long since she dated someone. So just wait for the excitement to go down a bit and use the American tour to get closer to her while her 'boyfriend' is far from her." 

"You want her to cheat on him?!" I was shocked by what she just told me. I could understand that she didn't like Taehyung but that was probably a bit extreme. And most importantly, Yoohyeon was going to feel so bad after that. 

"No! In fact, I heard your discussion with Kai at the agency and I'm sure he can figure something out. He looks to be a huge JiYoo shipper and has a lot of ideas! So don't worry about it, simply wait for the American tour to get closer to Yoohyeon and Kai and I will take care of the rest!" She said with a confident smirk on her face. 

I didn't know what she was up to, but when she had something in mind, no one could stop her. And honestly, I was so glad to have her on my side, she just wanted to make Yoohyeon happy and I knew she was going to do everything she could to achieve that. 

Kim Taehyung, enjoy your time with her because it won't be long.

Chapter Text

Yoohyeon's POV:

After two hours at least, Jiu and Handong finally came back. Hearing the entrance door open, Siyeon and I didn't hesitate to stand up from the couch and run to them, anxiety rising inside. Why did she run away like this without saying anything to anyone? But as soon as I saw her, my heart broke. Even though she was looking down, I could see her red and puffy eyes and her cheeks all wet. She had been crying.

"U-Unnie are you okay? Did you... cry?" I asked, trying to put my hand on her shoulder to give her some comfort but Dongie prevented me from touching her.

"Yoohyeona, don't worry. We are just wet because it was raining a lot." She smiled to me.

She was right, all the members came back all wet from head to toe and even Handong was in this state. But there was something different with Jiu, her eyes were different. Where was that confident aura she usually exuded? Right now, she just looked so little and vulnerable, able to stand only thanks to Dongie's arm around her waist.

"A-Are you sure?" I asked again, wanting an answer from the source of my concern. "Jiu unnie?"

But the only answer I got was a light nod from her. Why couldn't she look at me in the eyes? I've been worried about her for two whole hours and now that she was back, she wouldn't even look at me. Was she angry at me for avoiding her on Friday?

Suddenly something crossed my mind, I was finally dating again since her. No matter what her reaction was going to be, I needed to tell her, she deserved to know. And the sooner the better... right?

"U-Unnie. I have something to tell you. I-" I started but Sua cut me in my tracks.

"Puppy, maybe you should let her take a shower first, she must be freezing cold. Right Minji?"

"Indeed..." She answered, lightly smiling at her. Why was she looking at her but not at me?

"Then go take a shower. And Yoohyeon, maybe you can announce it to the others?" She suggested.

"I-" I still tried to say it to her, after all, it wasn't too long to say. But without even a glance back, Jiu rushed to the bathroom and closed the door behind her, not letting me the time to say anything.

After the announce, all the members were really happy for me, congratulating me and showing me their support like they always did. But still, I needed Jiu's approval more than the others. I didn't know if it was because I wanted to show that her I could be happy again or I just needed her to agree with this new relationship, but Jiu's opinion was really important to me.

Unfortunately, I didn't have time to see her since she went straight to bed right after her shower, without saying good night to anyone. Why was she acting like this?

The next day, Jiu left for the agency way before us and I couldn't help but feel sad about it. More I thought about this whole situation and more I was thinking that she was like this because of me. I didn't know what I did to hurt her but I felt really guilty about it. But her actions also hurt me. I remembered her telling me that she would always support me no matter what I did with who. And now that I wanting to talk to her about it, she was avoiding me. Was it selfish to want to share something that was important to me?

But Siyeon reassured me as soon as she saw my distress. The previous evening, she told Jiu that I was now dating Taehyung and, according to her, Jiu approved it with a smile. And as if she was reading my mind, she also assured me that Jiu's escape from the day before had nothing to do with me. It comforting me a bit but it didn't explain why she was avoiding me.

**********

Luckily, after two days, she started to talk to me again and acted as if nothing happened. It wasn't deep talks but at least she smiled and looked at me again. So on a whim, I told her about my new relationship and, as Siyeon said, she approved it. Everything went back to normal and we could finally interact just like before until that day.

'Hey there my beautiful girlfriend <3' I received one morning from Taehyung. 'When do you finish training today? I will pick you up to have dinner together!'

The mention of his name on the screen of my phone made me smile immediately. We hadn't even been dating for a week and yet, I felt like it's been years. We texted and called each other every day and I couldn't help but think all the time how happy I was with him. But I quickly remembered that I was in the training room with the staff and some dancers so I immediately stopped smiling at my phone, I couldn't let anyone out of my members know that I was dating. I focused my attention back on my phone and answered.

'Hey mister perfect!' I used the nickname Siyeon gave him. 'I finish probably around 9pm!'

'Then wait for me! See you tonight!!!' He answered right away with a moving sticker of an excited cute bear.

And I couldn't help but smile again, he was so adorable. But as soon as I raised my head, I noticed Sua looking at me with a smirk on her face.

"I beg you, don't say anything please!" I stopped her before she could talk.

And luckily, she listened to me and left to chat a bit with the dancers. I put my phone away and joined them as the break was ending, eager to be this evening.

**********

It was already past 9:30pm and we just finished our training for the day. On one hand, I hoped that Taehyung had waited for me all this time but on the other hand, I didn't want him to waste his time. So as soon as I finished packing my bag, I ran to the entrance and noticed in front of the agency the large black car. He was still here.

With a smile on my face, I walked to the exit to join him but as soon as I got out, a voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Yoohyeona!" Jiu called me. "Yubin and I are going to buy some foods at the Chinese restaurant for the group, Sua is lazy to cook tonight. You want the usual?"

Right, I forgot to tell the members I wasn't coming back home with them this evening. I was about to answer but lost myself in her warm smile for a few seconds, my heart melting at the sight. Why did it have to be so complicated between us? But that was a question I couldn't ask myself anymore, now I was with Taehyung. I blinked a few times to come back to reality and cleared my throat before answering.

"Tonight, I'm not having dinner with you guys. Taehyung came to pick me up." I said, pointing at his car behind me.

In a second, her smile disappeared and even if she tried to hide it, I swore I saw an inch of sadness in her eyes. And seeing her like this hurt me just as much. But her face lightened up a bit as she took my hand in hers, caressing it lightly with her thumb.

"I understand, don't worry. You're dating now, you're allowed to have your time with him." She smiled at me.

I was relieved to finally be able to talk with Jiu just like before and the fact that she didn't say anything bad on my new relationship also reassured me, I didn't want to disappoint her.

I was about to hug her to thank her but a car's horn cut me in my tracks, making me jump out of my skin. I turned my head to where the sound was coming from and saw that Taehyung had opened the passenger side door, looking at us with a dark expression. Of course I knew why he did that, he was extremely jealous of Jiu and didn't support seeing us together, even if she was my leader.

But as soon as he noticed my disappointed look on him, he dropped the dark gaze to give way to a broad smile.

"Baby let's go!" He said.

'Baby'? It was the first time he called me that way and honestly, it made me a bit uncomfortable. Nevertheless, I waved at Jiu and walked to the car when I noticed the smirk he gave to my leader, he was taunting her.

That was enough, she didn't deserve that. I quickly climbed in the car and immediately closed the door behind me, creating a barrier between them.

"Stop that." I said coldly, my arms crossed on my chest.

Since they met, I noticed quickly that they didn't like the other and at first, they kept challenging each other. But it had been a while since Jiu stopped and even supported my new relationship but he kept telling me how I shouldn't be with her and how much I couldn't trust her. And it was getting on my nerve more and more, I couldn't let him continue like this.

"What do you mean?" He asked clueless, leaning in to get a kiss.

But instead, I moved away without looking at him, pushing him with my hand. I couldn't act as if it didn't affect me, he needed to understand once and for all.

"Jiu unnie, stop challenging her like this. She didn't do anything to you, did she?" I said, but this time looking at him straight in the eyes. I wanted to make sure he knew I wasn't joking.

"Of course she did! She hurt yo-"

"Me! She hurt me, not you!" I cut him. "And that was long ago, now I forgave her and she changed. So stop criticizing her all the time and smirking at her every time you see her!" I ordered him.

I was tired of this behavior, he acted like a 5-year-old kid and that wasn't what I signed for when I accepted to be his girlfriend.

"Yes, but..." He wanted to argue but stopped immediately when he saw the way I was looking at him.

I was no longer the weak and naive girl I was before and there was no way I was letting him talk like this to the person I loved the most. Jiu and I's relationship failed because we were lacking in communication so I couldn't do the same mistake anymore. If something was bothering me, I had to say it.

"Okay, I won't do it again, I'm sorry Yooh..." He said with a sad expression.

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to." I answered with an earnest face.

"Are you kidding?! I'm not apologizing to her!" He argued. "Yoohyeon, I can understand that you want to protect her and I promise I will stop challenging her and talking behind her back but you also need to understand me. We both don't like each other, do you really think some apologies are going to change how she sees me? It's just going to be awkward and useless."

In a way, he was right. I knew Jiu was behaving well because they still stayed quit far for each other and didn't talk to the other. And I could still remember the tension between them during our first date at the dorm. Taehyung was right, forcing them to discuss would only rekindle Jiu's hatred for him and that wasn't what I wanted.

"Yes indeed... it was probably a bad idea to ask you that." I admitted, looking down a bit ashamed.

"Please don't blame yourself for that." He said with a soft voice and taking my two hands in his, turning me toward him. "You just wanted to fix our argument and that's really nice of you. But sometimes, people just don't get along, it can happen." He smiled warmly at me.

I nodded even if I wasn't fully convinced by what he just told me. I felt stupid right now, he was right, some people just couldn't get along well, especially with what Taehyung knew. He knew what she did in the past and I could understand that he couldn't forgive her for that.

But as I was lost in my thoughts, he quickly brought me back to reality by gently turning my head toward him with his fingers under my chin and placing a soft kiss in my lips. I couldn't help but smile immediately at that, looking away to hide a light blush on my cheeks. As usual, he was the best to comfort me and that was why I accepted to be with him.

"So for tonight, I first thought of taking you to a fancy restaurant since you told you never went to any of them. But then, I remembered that you liked simple meals in good company, right?" He asked, starting the engine and driving away from the agency.

"Indeed, I love it." I confirmed, touched that he remembered such a detail.

"So how about taking some tteokbokki at one of these food trucks in the center of Seoul and then find a quiet place in town to eat in peace?" He offered.

"I would love that." I smiled when something suddenly crossed my mind. "B-But... what if someone recognize us?"

At this worry, he told me to look in his bag on the back seat where I found a pair of masks and a cap with a puppy printed on it.

"I took the masks from the agency and I bought the cap for you. As soon as I saw it in the shop, I knew I had to take it for you." He chuckled. "I think with these on, we won't have any trouble. Plus, it's already dark outside, we can't see properly."

All of this was really new to me, hiding everywhere, scared to be recognize. Since Dreamcatcher wasn't that popular in Korea, not a lot of people stopped us in the street so we never needed to hide. But now, I was dating one of the most popular K-pop idols ever so there was no choice but to hide if we wanted to avoid any scandals and fans' hatred.

**********

Taehyung parked his car in the area and put on big black glasses that didn't make him look so good.

"How do I look?" He chuckled, turning toward me.

"You look like the Brainy Smurf!" I laughed. "Why do you put them on?"

"First, stop laughing because those are my real glasses." He said with a smirk, knowing he would make me blush from shame and that's exactly what I did. "And then, you probably noticed that I'm not at my best with those on, so it will be even better to hide from fans."

"For me, you're still the most handsome man I ever met." I said in all honesty.

"And you're the most beautiful woman in the world." He answered, putting his hand on my cheek and leaning in, placing a gentle kiss on my lips. "Now, put your mask and your amazing puppy cap on and let's go." He added, adjusting his own mask on his face.

We came out of the car and walked for a few minutes to arrive in the center of the city. And as expected from a Friday evening, the streets were crowded.

"Are you sure you won't be recognized?" I asked him, scared of the possible consequences.

"Don't worry about anything. And if something happens, I will protect you." I could see the smile under his mask.

I probably didn't have any reason to worry. After all, it wasn't the first time he was going out while hiding his identity, so he must have been used to it. Perhaps, I was just overthinking as always and everything was going to be fine, just like he planned it.

Taehyung placed me in front on him and guided me with his hands on my waist, to make sure I didn't lose myself in this huge crowd. After some difficulties, we managed to find the tteokbokki truck and get into the queue of people who were waiting their turn to order. Still behind me, Taehyung came closer, put his head on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around me, singing something in my ear I couldn't recognize.

"What are you singing?" I asked, intertwining our fingers on my belly.

"A song I had in my head all day long because I listened to it in the car this morning. But I won't complain though, I really like this song."

"And what is it?"

" ~ Baby please don't leave me, this night is long and lonely so..." He started to sing, causing a giggle from me when we heard behind us high-pitched screams.

Suddenly, Taehyung quickly pulled away from the back hug and pushed me forward, making me almost fall from the surprise. I turned around and was about to scold him when I heard these same voices scream even louder.

"OH MY GOD KIM TAEHYUNG!!!" They yelled with shrill voices as they were running to him.

I was about to go back to them to help him getting rid of those three crazy girls when I noticed his hand behind his back. He was making a discreet hand gesture to signal me to leave and it felt like a stab in my heart. The evening just started and someone already recognized him. At this rate, it wasn't even worth trying.

I walked away, looking down, and went to sit on a bench in a park nearby. How could I be with him when the only moment we could have together was at kilometers away at his parents' place? But a notification from my phone took me out of my thought, Taehyung had texted me.

'Please wait for me, I will pick you up.'

Almost the same message he sent me this morning. How could I know that what he planned was going to be better than that? I knew it wasn't his fault but still, I couldn't help but be disappointed. After all, I was finally dating again but even that, I couldn't do it properly.

If only we didn't have all those eyes on us, maybe we could just be him and I, be together without fearing the consequences. But unfortunately, it couldn't be this way, so we had to adapt and I knew what I got myself into when I became his girlfriend. So I couldn't break up with him just because we faced some difficulties.

After those more positive thoughts, I sent him my actual position and waited for him on this same bench. And I waited. 5 minutes. 10 minutes. What was he doing? It wasn't that long to sign some papers and take a few pictures, right? 15 minutes. 20 minutes. Was he really going to pick me up or did he forget about me? 25 minutes. 30 minutes. Okay, now that was enough. My trust in him was fading by the minute and after all that time, it was gone. He wasn't going to come for me.

Plus, he took us really far from my dorm, how was I supposed to come back alone? I had at least 45min of walking from where I was, and I didn't have my wallet so I couldn't even call a taxi or take the bus. Should I call Jiu to ask her to pick me up? What would she think of me if she saw how my date went?

At those thoughts, I bit my inner cheek to try to contain the tears. How stupid was I to date to most famous idol of Korea? It was a horrible idea to ask him to choose between his fans and me, of course he wasn't going to choose me. Who was I to him? Just a girl he met who helped him remember what a normal life looked like, nothing more.

With a mix of anger and sadness, I stood up, ready to leave, and brought my hand to my face to take off the cap and the mask. But suddenly, someone hugged me tightly from behind, preventing me from revealing my identity to the world. Those strong arms and soft smell, of course I knew who it was. But right now, I just wanted to come back home and hug my members for some comfort.

"I'm sorry, please forgive me." He said, not letting go of me.

"Why should I?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

"I asked them to go away, but more and more people started to recognize me so I had to pretend like I was leaving. They followed me to the car and it was hard to drive away with all of them in front of me." He explained, squeezing me in his arms even more. "I promise I didn't want things to go this way, so please forgive me and give me another chance. I swear I will make this evening memorable, just for you."

At those words, my head dropped. I wanted so much to be mad at him and blame him for what happened but he wasn't responsible and I knew that. He did his best but his fans made everything complicated and it wasn't his fault at all, he deserved another chance for sure. But did I really wanted to risk it again?

"I..." I started but my voice broke, forcing me to take a deep breath before trying again.

"Please... just one more chance..." He pleaded before I could say anything.

"Okay..." I sighed. After what happen just now, I didn't expect anything so I couldn't be disappointed, right?

"Thank you Yoohyeon, I promise you won't regret it!" He said, hugging me even tighter.

After a few seconds, he pulled away and took my hand in his, guiding me to his car parked in front of the entrance of the park. The drive was quiet and a bit awkward, but at this point, it was probably better, I needed some time for myself to think about what happened and to calm myself down a little.

A few minutes later, we arrived in front of a huge gate next to a security post, blocking the access to a large area hosting tall buildings. Where were we? We stopped in front of the doors as a man wearing the security uniform knocked on Taehyung's window.

"Hey kid!" The man greeted him. "You finally brought a girl home? Feeling too lonely? Damn, she's hot!" He smirked, looking at me from head to toe, making me look away, too uncomfortable. "Hum, she looks shy but I'm sure she's wild. If she takes good take care of you, send her to me. Let's share our girls, right dude?" He laughed, punching Taehyung on the shoulder.

"Yes, of course." He answered with a nod before closing the window as the gate opened. "I couldn't reveal your identity but I will make sure he gets fired. No one is allowed to talk about you like this." He said with greeted teeth, entering in an underground parking lot.

His words reassured me a bit even if what this man said about me hurt me and scared me. He thought I was a prostitute and wanted to... have me? My heart was still beating fast in my chest when we made our way to the elevator. Taehyung promised to protect me if something happened but he didn't and now I didn't feel as safe as he made me feel before.

We entered in the elevator still in silence and I didn't dare to look up and meet his eyes. I should have gone home instead of waiting for him. Now things were awkward between us and I didn't know what to do to make it better, or even if I wanted it.

"Come here." He said, pulling me in a hug. "I know this evening didn't start well but I promise I will make it better. We will be alone in my apartment with no one to bother us. Are you comfortable with that?" He asked, pulling away and cupping my cheek, forcing me to look at him.

Was I feeling comfortable? We might have spent some times alone in my dorm and in a hotel room, he was still asking the question, checking on me every time he saw I wasn't feeling well and it was really endearing. Even if this evening made me doubt my decision and this new relationship, Taehyung kept remembering me why I wanted to be with him and all of his little attentions made me feel better quickly.

"Yes, thank you." I said with a light smile.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked, surprising me.

After what happened tonight, he didn't want to impose me anything and wanting to make sure that I felt good with me. I might not have been in love yet, my heart was melting for him more and more.

"Of course, silly!" I chuckled before standing on my tiptoes and kissing him gently, feeling his arm supporting my waist.

Without any hesitation, he kissed me back, his soft lips curving perfectly with mine. I was about to deepen the kiss when I heard the ding of the elevator. But my jaw almost dropped on the floor as the doors opened, revealing the inside of the apartment. His living room was as big as my whole dorm and the view on the Han River through the windows was breathtaking. The marble floor and the black leather armchairs could have given an austere side to the interior if it weren't for the colorful artworks displayed on the wall which brightened the apartment.

"Sorry for the mess, I didn't plan to bring you here tonight." He said, putting off his shoes.

Which mess? Everything was perfect and there wasn't any single hint of dust. In my dorm, we considered hiding our dirty socks under the bed and putting our cake crumbs under the carpet clean.

"No problem." I answered, still searching for the mess.

"So what do you want to do?" He asked, guiding me to the couch in front of a TV that was probably four times the size of mine. And his agency was probably not blocking half of the channels on his. We only had access to the news and the cartoon channels. They were probably scared we were going to watch dirty things but honestly, we already had Sua and Siyeon for that, we didn't need to hear more awkward sounds in this dorm.

"Watch a movie?" He offered. "I have plenty of them."

"Hum... but I'm hungry and... every time we are alone, we only watch movies. I want to do something else."

"Okay, let me think." He said, looking at the ceiling as if he was going to find the answer there. "Oh I have an idea! Last time, you tried to make an Italian dish and you failed miserably." He chuckled.

"Orh, don't remind me that." I blushed, hiding my face in my hands. Just with pasta, I managed to destroy a kitchen and burn my ankle, it wasn't my best achievement.

"What do you think about doing lasagna?" He smiled. "Jin hyung taught me how to not ruin a kitchen and it's a pretty easy thing to cook. Like this, Sua-ssi won't mock you anymore if you can cook it!"

Lasagna, good idea! Plus, I really loved Italian food so learning how to cook one meal would be amazing! And he was right, I was probably going to impress my members with it but he said something false though.

"I think Sua unnie would still make fun of me." I chuckled. "But it's a really good idea!"

After agreeing on this new plan, Taehyung called a staff member of the building, something I didn't have neither, and asked him to shop for groceries for us. And a few minutes later, someone knocked at the door, with the ingredients we needed in a plastic bag.

"Yoohyeon, can you take care of the garlic and the onions please? I will prepare the meat." He said, taking out a knife and a board for me and a pan for himself.

"Sure!" I answered a bit unsure, not really trusting myself with the knife.

But in fact, everything went pretty well and I managed to cut everything just like the recipe asked. But at the end, it was getting more and more complicated to be precise as my eyes were filling with tears.

"Oh my god! Baby, why are you crying?" Taehyung asked in a hurry, taking the knife out of my hands. He turned me toward him and cupped my cheeks, wiping my tears away with his thumbs.

"I-It's the onions..." I sobbed bit.

"Oh! But you don't have to worry Yooh, you're not responsible of its death. It was already dead before." He joked, kissing me tenderly and erasing my last tears. "Are you done?"

I nodded. He then took out a casserole and put my art in it with a bit of olive oil. And after a few minutes, he added the tomato sauce and some herb that he mixed.

"Yooh, can you turn on the oven please?" He said, precising the heat while he started to mix in another casserole butter, flour and milk.

" ~ Smooth like butter..." I started to sing, making him laugh immediately.

And finally came the last step, the assembly. Taehyung told me to do it on my own while he would be next to me, checking on what I was doing. And honestly, it went pretty well. But for the last floor, I didn't have enough meat to complete the whole plate and I didn't know what to do.

"Hum... Taehyung, what do I now?" I asked for help.

"You spread the meat all over the surface, it doesn't matter if this layer is not thick." He explained, standing up from the counter and walking behind me.

He placed himself against my back and wrapped my waist with his arm while holding my hand with the spoon. And just like that, he started to show me how to do what he just explained but my brain had just left far from there to make room to a crazy heart. My heart was beating so fast, I was sure it was going to pop out of my chest and Taehyung probably noticed it seeing how close he was from my neck.

"... you understand?" I could only hear the end of his sentence.

"Y-Yes..." I stuttered with a voice that didn't sound natural at all.

"Good then." He smiled, placing wet kisses all the way down from my jaw to my collarbone and that was enough to completely turn me on. What the fuck! "Now, let's put it in the oven!" He said, suddenly pulling away.

At that sudden movement, my legs almost failed me but I managed to stay up and took the plate to the oven as he asked.

"It wasn't that hard, right?" He smiled, pulling me back to the living room and making us sit on the couch.

"I-Indeed." I stuttered again, trying to hide my face that was probably redder than the tomato sauce.

"Are you okay? You're a bit red... maybe we should open the windo-"

"Yes!" I yelled before realizing how desperate I must have looked. "I-I mean... yeah, good idea." I scolded myself in my head.

But when I raised my head to look at him, I noticed that he was trying hard to hold a laugh. He knew what he did.

"Ya! You did it on purpose I'm sure!" I accused him.

"Yes I did, and it worked really well!" He burst into laughter.

"That's not nice..." I pouted.

"No, I know but still." He was still laughing. "But don't be ashamed of it Yooh, we are human, it's normal to feel this way." He smiled at me. "Anyway, while waiting for the masterpiece we just made, I want to show you some magic tricks I learned with Jimin! I can also teach you, I'm sure your members would be impressed!" He said, standing up and walking to his bedroom.

What the hell was that? He just turned me on on purpose and then talked about magic tricks. I knew we said we would wait but honestly, I didn't expect him to just do it as a joke and then forget about it. I wasn't saying I was ready but at least, this thought crossed my mind. But in fact, it was probably a good idea to not do anything, I was sure I would have freak out just before or something like that.

He came back after a few minutes and we spent 45 minutes playing with the cards and it was a really nice moment. After all, we didn't need sex to spend a good evening. And finally, the lasagna was ready. We took it out of the oven, more like he caught it just in time before I let it fall on the floor, and ate it right away. Honestly, I was really proud of it, even if Taehyung did most of the work. I finally made something that didn't poison anyone.

"Thank you for this evening." I said, holding his hand on the floor.

We first started the dinner on the table of the kitchen but ended up sitting on the floor around the little table in front of the TV to watch some cartoons.

"I told you I was going to fix my mistakes." He smiled at me.

"You're right! Plus, choosing to make lasagna was the best idea. But there is a problem with it though."

"What is it?" He asked, confused.

"We can't do like in 'Lady and the Tramp' and eat each of us one end before kissing." I chuckled.

Funny enough, it had always been my dream to do it with my partner. The first time I watched this Disney, I was probably around 14 years old and seeing those two dogs kissing each other just reminded me how single I was. So that was a thing I wanted to do with the love of my life, to prove to the animation that I wasn't alone anymore.

"Why wasting time with a spaghetti when you can go for the kiss just like that." He said, leaning in before locking lips with me.

The kiss was at first slow, sensual and as usual, I could feel all the softness and tenderness he put in it. But quickly, we deepened the kiss, letting our tongues dance together and express our hidden desires for the other. But the table between us was bothering us so Taehyung bypassed it and crawled on top of me, making me lie between the cold marble floor ad his burning body. His hands were all over me, but still not on my most intimate parts. Despite the moment we were in, he was still so respectful and I loved it. But I quickly lacked of air and pulled back from this crazy kiss. And to my biggest surprise, he stopped too, looking at me with the softest look I ever saw.

"Yoohyeon..." He started. "Please, stay for the night."

Chapter Text

Sua's POV:

Finally, America! Since our CEO announced us that we were coming back here, we were so excited! It was going to be our first time in United States with Dongie and we couldn't be happier. First with our appearance at the Primavera Sound and now this tour, our Idol life was perfect.

Our first stop was New York and for the day of our arrival, we had the rest of the day off. We arrived at the hotel around two in the morning and fell asleep right away, too exhausted by this long flight. For the tour, Siyeon and I decided to share a room to finally have something that looked like a real couple real without bothering the others, because I wasn't sure Yoohyeon liked it when I kicked her out of our room to welcome Siyeon instead.

After catching up on a few hours of sleep, we met downstairs at 10 am to explore the city all together and have lunch somewhere nearby.

"I miss Yoohyeon." Siyeon said with a sad tone.

It was now 1 pm and we just left the restaurant. Yoohyeon was walking at the front, linking arms with Dongie and the maknae and Minji were just behind her, chatting joyfully while Siyeon and I were at the back.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"It's been at least a month since she sleeps at home only once or twice a week and now... I feel like she doesn't tell us anything anymore. In fact... she didn't confide in me for a few years now and honestly... I miss it. I used to be her best friend and confident but now... I'm none of those things to her anymore..." She sighed.

She was right, since her first date with Taehyung as her boyfriend, we couldn't see her a lot anymore. Almost every evening, he was picking her up by car and took her back to the agency the morning after. She only came back home once or twice a week to take some things she wanted to bring at his place like some clothes, her beauty products or her personal stuffs. Even I missed her so much. She was like my little sister so seeing her go away little by little pained me. We met every day at the agency but we couldn't talk too much, we had to focus on the preparation of the tour. And even when she came back at the dorm, she was keeping a lot from us, never telling us anything about her new relationship.

"Do you know if... she's happy at least? Is he good enough to replace us?" She asked with a broken voice.

"He won't replace us, Love. We are her family and nobody's going to change that." I reassured her, taking her hand in mine to give her some comfort. It really pained me to see her so down.

"But they met only a few months ago and she's already living with him. He is taking her away from us and if it wasn't for the group, I'm sure she would have forgotten us. You know, I just wanted to be close to her again, to have our moments together, just like before. But now, she's just putting all of us on the side of her life." She said with a trembling voice, ready to cry.

I was about to take her in my arms but someone was faster than me, pink hair flying in my face. Right, I forgot, Minji dyed her hair in pink for the tour.

"I completely understand how you feel Siyeona, you're not alone in this." Minji said, gently caressing her back.

And without any hesitation, Siyeon hugged her back immediately, hiding in the crook of her best friend's neck. Of course she understood, she was feeling exactly the same, but it was probably even harder for her. She loved Yoohyeon more than her own life so seeing the love of her life growing apart from her to be with someone else must have felt like a stab in the heart.

It broke my heart to see them so devastated and even if I didn't show it, I was feeling just the same way. Every evening, I loved having our conversations in the dark where Yoohyeon fell asleep while speaking, it was probably one of my favorite moments of the day. She usually told me some things that happened to her, we shared some jokes or just cuddled, and it warmed my heart more than anything. But now, my heart was cold, just like this empty room and the whole dorm. Dreamcatcher was a family of seven members, not six, and Yoohyeon's absence was hurting every single one of us.

But I couldn't show my pain to the others, Minji and Siyeon were suffering a lot from this and the maknae couldn't handle the group by themselves so I had to stay strong for them.

"Unnie, what are you doing?" Gahyeon asked innocently, seeing the two broken-hearted girls hugging each other.

"Nothing kid." I answered, patting her head. "Siyeon and I were just saying goodbye to Minji. We're leaving on a date together." I smiled.

"W-We are?" Siyeon asked, blinking away some tears that threaten to fall.

"Yes, we are! We need to take our minds off things and take some time for ourselves. Right my love?"

"Indeed." She smiled warmly. I knew she needed this break and honestly, I needed it too.

"Oh! By the way Gahyeon, didn't you want to watch a movie at the cinema? What was the name again? Something with the dinosaurs you know." I asked her.

"Oh, 'Jurassic World'! Yes, I would love to watch it!" She answered excitedly.

"Then, you should go this afternoon with Dongie and Yubin. Plus, you will train your English with it!"

"Okay, I will do that. Thank you for the idea unnie!" She said, running to the little group in front of us and grabbing Yubin and Handong's hands, taking them away with her.

Dongie told me she prepared something with Kai to help Yoohyeon and Minji to talk things out. According to her, they found a solution to not force them but help them realize their feelings for each other and confess. It was okay if they didn't end together but keeping their feelings hidden to the other would have only hurt them. So they had to let everything out at some point. And for that, she needed them to spend more time just the two of them, and that was why we put them in the same hotel room for the tour and I was trying to make them spend the afternoon together.

"Where did they run to?" Yoohyeon asked, coming back to us.

"To the cinema. They're going to watch 'Jurassic World'." Minji answered, looking at her with this loving gaze that only she knew.

"Oooh, I wanted to go too..." The puppy pouted as she used to do.

"Are you kidding? Last time you watched a dinosaur movie at the cinema, you screamed so loud when it suddenly ate the guy. You embarrassed all of us!" I scolded her.

"Haha... true." She chuckled.

It was so refreshing to have her back with us, laughing and smiling like this. And seeing the way Minji and Siyeon were looking at her, they were probably thinking the same thing as me.

"So what do we do?" She asked again.

"Siyeon and I planned to go on a date. I mean, you can come with us if you want, it would..." I was about to do a joke about double date but managed to stop myself before doing this big mistake. "... but you would definitely be third wheels. And I don't think you want to see what's going to happen." I smirked, squeezing Siyeon's butt, making her scream immediately.

"Ew!" Yoohyeon yelled.

"Ew? Come here you brat!" I scolded her, chasing her right after. And it wasn't long before I managed to catch her and chock her with my elbow for a few seconds, forcing her to bow to be at my level. "Minji, take this puppy far from here before I finish her." I said, releasing her and taking Siyeon's hand in mine, walking in the other direction. "Have fun girls! See you tonight!"

And just like that we walked, hand in hand, without any word needed. It felt so good to be just the two of us, without anyone around. Just her and I enjoying each other's presence. The members had always accepted our relationship and they did their best to give us some time alone but it was difficult, we were together 24/7. So now that we were able to, I wasn't going to let this opportunity pass me by and I was going to enjoy it until the end.

**********

We walked in the city for the whole afternoon, doing some shopping and playing with funny stuffs displayed in the stores we went in. Siyeon even bought for me an elephant pin! We took some pictures in front of the Empire State building and in Time Square, ate a waffle for the afternoon snack and even visited the amazing wax statue museum, Madame Tussauds.

But around 8 pm, Siyeon's stomach started to rumble so we knew that it was time to have dinner. After at least 20 minutes, we finally managed to find a restaurant that had a free table and took place inside. Bonus, it was a Japanese one.

"... and Jiu unnie just bumped into me!" Siyeon laughed, telling me how one day, Minji was to focus on flirting with the Insomnias to see where she was going.

"This girl can't even flirt properly!" I laughed with her.

Even if we were on a date, we still ended up talking about our members. But honestly, it wasn't a problem. After all, Dreamcatcher was everything we had, it was normal we wanted to talk about it.

"By the way, the end of our contract is in January and Minji is having private conversations with each member to know what they will do. Did she already talk to you about it?" I asked.

"She did. And of course, I told her I would renew it. You?"

"Well, before taking my decision, I wanted to know what you wanted to do." I admitted. "I can't continue if you're not by my side." I said, taking her hand on the table.

"Miss Kim Bora, are you saying you would stay just for me?" She chuckled with a smirk.

"I mean... there's also the insomnias and... the members,... the staff and the CEO. I love them so much, they are like my family but I can't live without you, Siyeona."

I already thought about this a lot and being in Dreamcatcher without Siyeon was something impossible for me, I couldn't live without her. It was or we both renew our contract either none of us. But there was no way I was continuing without her, she was all I had.

"I think you don't realize what you mean to me." I said, looking at her straight in the eyes to show her how serious I was about this. "Lee Siyeon, you are like a light in the dark, like a compass in a wide forest. You are the love of my life and I couldn't do anything without it. I'm living for you and I would die for you. I-I..." I tried to continue but not even words could express what I wanted to say, my love for her was way too endless to be summarize by words. "Siyeon, I-"

"I know exactly what you feel, unnie. Because I feel exactly the same. I already see us at 80 years old flirting with each other as if we were still 25." She chuckled.

"No matter how old we will be, your flirting skills will always make me fall harder for you." I said, squeezing her hand in mine.

At that moment, I wanted so much to stand up and kiss her, to show her all the love I had for her. But I knew it was impossible, we were famous and gay, people wouldn't have accepted and we would have destroyed the whole group with this coming out. But seeing the smile on her face, I knew she understood how I felt right now, and that was enough to make me relax.

"So unnie, are we renewing this contract?" Siyeon asked, breaking the silence.

"Of course we are!" I answered right away. "And by the way... I know it pains you to not be able to call me by my real name... even after all those years together." I said, lowering my head.

"No, it's n-"

"Please Siyeon, I can see it in your eyes." I smiled sadly finally looking at her.

In fact, as soon as I joined Happyface Entertainment, I always introduced myself as Kim Sua, I wasn't confident with the name Bora. I always loved dancing and since my youngest age, I knew I wanted to become dancer. So I trained harder and harder every day. But in middle school, some girls of my class told me that I would never succeed because I wasn't talented enough and didn't even have the visual to be idol. They even tagged on my locker 'Bora loser' and kept calling me that for at least three school years. Since then, I associated the name 'Bora' with these girls and it only reminded me how weak I was at that time.

But I trusted Siyeon, she was the woman of my life and I knew she would be able to erase those memories but I guessed I was just scared, scared to remember and feel the same way again.

"Siyeon, please... call me by my real name..." I asked her with pleaded eyes. I couldn't keep running away from my past, I had to overcome this fear for me, for her, for us.

"Okay, I will... Bora." She said, smiling widely. This name felt so nice from her mouth, and hearing her saying it melted my heart more than ever. She was so incredible, sweet, caring, it just made me want to cry but I couldn't, the date wasn't finish yet, I couldn't cry. After all, she was the cry baby in this couple, not me.

"Love, are you crying?" Siyeon asked with a chuckle.

"N-No, I'm not." I answered, trying to hide the obvious. "Just some dust in my eyes I guess." I said, using the excuse the wipe away some tears that threaten to fall.

"Oooh, you're so cute!" She was now laughing holding both of my hands on the table. "I didn't know you were so emotional!"

"Honestly, we neither. It's probably my endless love for you that made me such a softy." I smiled at her.

"Stop accusing me, you're the only responsible!"

I missed so much those kinds of moment where we could pretend to be normal people, loving each other freely. In Korea, even the country was against us, we didn't have any rights as a gay couple and it was so complicated to organize some dates just like we were doing right now.

"By the way, do you thing that Yoohyeon will... renew her contract?" Siyeon suddenly asked.

Of course I knew it was on her mind for a long time and honestly, it was on mine too. This last month, Yoohyeon had been really distant with us and I felt like she was waiting for the end of the contract to run out of the group, at least that was my feeling. Though, none of us dared to ask her anything and say what we thought about her new relationship since she was happy again. And disturb her happiness was the last thing we wanted to do.

"I have no idea but... I really hope she will. Dreamcatcher wouldn't be same without her..." I answered her question.

"This guy, Taehyung... I liked him a lot before but now... it's different. He's taking her away from us. Does he even love her? He's probably feeling too lonely and wants... hum... you know." She added, blushing lightly at the end of her sentence. "Do you know if they already did it?"

"I don't think he's playing with her, she's really important to him. But does he love her? I absolutely don't know." I said. In a way, I hoped that he truly loved her, because little by little, he was talking her away from us so, I hoped that it wasn't for nothing. "And concerning the sex, I asked her and she told me that they didn't, but that was some time again. So they probably did it, I don't know? But Siyeon, Yoohyeon is 25, she can do what she wants with who she wants, she's not a kid anymore." I tried to make her realize this. Siyeon met Yoohyeon when she was only 16, it was natural to still see her as the child she was.

"Yes I know." She sighed, rubbing her fingers on her temples, eyes closed. "I just don't trust him, he's sus."

Suddenly, something crossed my mind, Minji. Maybe this new relationship could help Siyeon to see how our leader could be way better for the lead vocalist. Minji truly loved Yoohyeon and that wasn't a secret. Plus, some years had passed and she changed, she realized her mistake and worked on it. I knew Minji was ready to do well this time, and I wanted Siyeon to see it too.

"Minji was the one for her." I said, using the past on purpose. I first wanted to hear what she thought about it.

"No, she wasn't." She answered without hesitation and it really broke my heart, poor Minji. "I know she loved her more than anything and was doing her best but she kept hurting her and Yoohyeon still has traumas from their relationship."

"Her traumas mainly come from the lie we gave her. And I agree that she wasn't the best girlfriend but she had a lot of pressure from Jaesung. Now, they are both adults, Yoohyeon deserves the truth and I'm sure Minji learned from her mistakes. Maybe we should allow h-"

"No." Siyeon said coldly. "She did learn from her mistakes in the past, but that was never enough. A hug and a kiss and Yoohyeon forgave her, she was way too in love to give up on her. If we let Minji and Yoohyeon back together, the puppy will be hurt again, I'm sure of that."

Despite Siyeon's opinion, I was still going to support my leader and I knew she could do better than before. We just needed to find a solution for Siyeon because she could be a problem.

"Well, Yoohyeon is already dating someone, so the problem is solved." I tried to change the subject.

I knew Minji wasn't going to wait for Siyeon's permission to get back with Yoohyeon so if I couldn't convince my girlfriend, at least I had to erase her possible suspicions. She was probably going to be upset once she found out but seeing Minji and Yoohyeon back together could maybe make her realize that a second chance was possible for them.

"Yes, you're right... even if it's not that much better."

"Anyway! Are you done eating? Because the evening is not finished yet." I said with a smirk, knowing exactly what was coming.

**********

"Let's spice things up, the one who lose has to do something for the winner." I said full of confidence, holding the heavy bowling ball in my hands.

After dinner, I took her to play bowling a little further in town. It was something I had always wanted to do with her for a date but couldn't because of our schedule. We only did it once with Gahyeon and Minji when we still weren't dating, and I remembered that we were both really good. But I was confident, I was going to win. After some years, we finally had our night off and I wasn't going to let this chance slip through my fingers. So now that we were playing it again, why not doing it in the Suayeon way and give a reward to the winner.

"Oooh, I like your idea. If I win, you have to submit to me. All. Night. Long." She challenged me with a smirk.

"Don't be too confident, Siyeona. I used to play bowling a lot with my family when I was younger. So don't dream too much, you will never top me. But since you talked about it, if I win, you are mine until dawn." I said with a wink, throwing the first ball.

But to my biggest surprise, it went straight to the gutter, making Siyeon laugh immediately. We played for a few minutes and around the end of the game, we had almost the same amount of points, Siyeon had 54 points and I had 56. It was the last round, my last chance to beat her. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to focus and be sure to have a good result, before opening them again and throwing the ball that kicked down 9 pins. I had now 65 against 54, so unless she was making a strike and then touched at least 2 pins, I won.

"Siyeona, just give up, you know you have no chance to beat me." I smirked. "But don't worry, I will take good care of you tonight."

"Thank you for your encouraging words, I promise I will reward you well tonight... when you will kneel in front of me." She said with confidence, throwing the ball.

And I looked at the ball rolling to the pins in slow motion as my heart was beating faster and faster. And after a few endless seconds, I was taking out of my thoughts by a scream of joy from Siyeon.

"Strike, let's go!" She jumped, coming to me with a big smile. "Prepare yourself because I swear, you won't be able to walk properly tomorrow." She said, patting my butt.

She had now 64 and I had 65. She only needed to put down two pins and she won. Plus, she still had two chances to shoot, I had to find a way to make her lose.

"Do you see this ball, Bora? Because it will the cause of your defeat." She chuckled, showing me the ball in her hands.

She walked back to the track and got ready to throw the ball, taking a deep breath before raising her arm back. Suddenly, an idea crossed my mind. I quickly stood up and put myself against her back, gently caressing her waist with the tip of my fingers.

"Are you sure you don't want to let me take care of you?" I whispered in her ears. And that was enough to make her fail the throw, the ball going straight to the gutter. One shot missed, I just needed her to miss the second one and I won.

"Ya, that's cheating!" She complained, turning toward me with a pout before pulling me by the hand to the bench to make me sit on it. "Now stay here and I don't want to hear you, miss Kim Bora." She said, calling me by my complete name on purpose to destabilize me. And it worked pretty well.

"Okay, okay, I won't move." I promised, raising my hands up.

She took another ball and walked slowly to the track, she knew it was her last chance. She took a deep breath and throw to ball toward the pins in front of her. That was it, the game was finished, we both did our last shoot. I stood up and looked at the screen that was displaying the results, I managed to gain 65 points and Siyeon... 69. She won.

"69, is it a sign?" She whispered in my ear.

"Shut up wolfie, and let's go before I take back the power by force." I said, ashamed of this defeat but also horny for what was coming.

I never admitted it to her, but I absolutely loved when she was taking the control. So in a way, I was pretty glad she won the game.

**********

As soon as we reached the hotel room, Siyeon didn't waste any time and pushed me against the entrance door, pressing her intoxicating lips against mine, kissing me eagerly. She clumsily opened my jacket before taking it off of my shoulders and throwing it on the floor, her hands travelling all over my body, desperately searching for some skin. I was so ready for her, my body screaming for her touches and kisses like it never had before.

In a smooth move, she managed to find the bottom of my shirt and put it off, making us pull back not even for a second before placing her lips back on mine, kissing me passionately. Her soft plump lips were so addictive, even after all those years together, I couldn't get tired of them, and the way they were dancing perfectly in sync with mine was driving me completely crazy.

"I'm so ready for you babe, please don't make me wait." I pulled away without detaching our lips, panting heavily.

"Don't worry my love, we have all night." She smiled, grabbing my thighs and wrapping them around her waist.

She might have been younger than me, I felt so safe in her arms, she was my shield against the world and I knew I could face anything when I was with her. The way she looked at me, hugged me, kissed me, carried me, it made me so invincible.

And just like that, she took me to the bed at the center of the room and placed me so gently on it, as if I was the most precious thing in the world. With her, I felt so important and beautiful, making me completely forget those girls in middle school. Now, it was only Siyeon and I and no one to disturb our happiness.

"I love you, Lee Siyeon." I said, wanting to make sure she knew how essential she was to me.

"And I love you even more, Kim Bora." She answered with a warm smile, kissing me tenderly.

Chapter Text

Minji's POV:

"So what do we do now?" Yoohyeon asked as Siyeon and Sua disappeared behind the corner of a building.

And without even realizing it, I was suddenly hugging her tightly, my eyes closed to enjoy the touch. After more than one month, she was finally back with us and we knew she was going to come back with us in the evening. One month since we last laughed with her, smiled with her, hugged her, one month since she left us.

This month had been hard for us, to be far from her. Especially Gahyeon who felt really lonely without her, even if we were still here for her. But nevertheless, nobody dared to talk to her, she finally found someone who could make her happy and we knew that telling her she was hurting us would just affect her new relationship.

"I miss you, Yoohyeon." I thought before realizing it came out in words. Shit.

"W-What?" She stuttered, pulling away from the hug.

Great, I must have looked so strange right now, suddenly hugging her and telling her I missed her while we were together. Looked like I couldn't fight against my thoughts, I really did miss her during this whole month that felt like a year. And with Dongie who kept telling me that she wasn't really in love and would quickly get tired of him, my hopes were high. But I saw enough to know that her happiness wasn't just temporary. He was truly making her happy and he was taking care of her like I never did, I was no one to try to break them apart. They deserved and completed each other, and I could clearly see that.

I was really thankful for what Sua, Kai and Handong did to help me but now that I thought about it, it was stupid to try to manipulate Yoohyeon's feelings. She was now an adult and even if she still loved me, she chose Taehyung and we weren't allowed to influence her. I had my chance and I missed it so now it was Taehyung's turn and he was doing really good. Maybe Yoohyeon and I weren't mean to be together in this life but a next one, who knew?

So after all of that, I knew she couldn't be mine again and, even if it was hard, I managed to accept this fact. Despite her feelings for me, she decided to not come back to me and I had to respect that. And now, my new goal was just to become someone she could trust as a friend and nothing more.

"I was just saying that I missed spending some time with you." I answered with a smile.

"Me too." She smiled back, hugging me quickly. "So, is there something you want to do?"

"Hum, not really since I'm not familiar with the city. Let me check what we can do." I said, taking my phone out. And after a few seconds, I found some things that could be great. "What do you think about it? We can go to a gaming arcade and do some shopping on our way there. And after that, we can just... have a drink somewhere?"

"I love this idea!" She said excitedly, clapping in her hands. "Let's go!"

**********

"Unnie, are you ready?" She asked from the other side of the curtain.

On our way to the arcade, we found a really nice shop and decided to play a game, we had to choose some clothes for the other. Even if she knew that showing skin was making me shy, she selected a black crop top with a bit of cleavage, saying that I shouldn't feel shy when I was that pretty. And that comment didn't leave me indifferent.

"I'm coming, just a few seconds!" I said, buttoning the simple pants she gave me to wear with the top.

Once I was ready, I took a deep breath and grabbed the curtain, hesitating to pull it open. What if she didn't like it? But I quickly took this thought out of my head, I wasn't trying to impress her, I just wanted to have a nice moment between two friends, nothing more.

I was about to open the curtain when it suddenly opened on its own, two puppy eyes looking at me intensely as if they were trying to reach my soul.

"... okay? Unnie?" Yoohyeon asked, cupping my cheeks to wake me up from me daydream.

"Y-Yes... I guess." I immediately pushed her hands away, trying to hide my pinkish face.

I was waiting for her to say something to break the silence I created but nothing came. Did I hurt her again by pushing her away? Lately I was doing my best for her but sometimes, I was still scared to hurt her feelings. I raised my head but was met with wide opened eyes, looking at me from head to toes, her lips parted in shock.

"Unnie... you're so beautiful." She said, looking at me with so much love and admiration.

Fuck, now my heart was beating like crazy and I was sure my face was so red. Why are you doing this to me, Kim Yoohyeon?

"I-I feel a bit uncomfortable showing this much skin." I admitted, covering my belly with one arm and my collarbone with the other. It was one of the things I loved about our agency, they never gave us clothes we didn't like, so I never had to show skin if I didn't want to.

"But you shouldn't." Yoohyeon smiled, taking my hands in hers. "Seriously unnie, look at you. I would give anything to be as pretty as you!"

"But you are..." I said without even realizing it. After all, it was true, Yoohyeon was the most beautiful person I ever met, on the outside just like in the inside. She was always so sweet with everyone, ready to help her members when they needed and her smile was the only thing that made me wake up in the morning. If only she could realize how incredible she was instead of admiring me so much when I didn't deserve it.

"Taehyung tells me that all the time." She chuckled shily.

Taehyung, again. Every time I heard this name, I could feel shivers running down my spine. I may have accepted their couple, I still hated him more than anything. He stole the love of my life from me and, as if it wasn't enough, he was even taking her away from the whole group. If his goal was to keep her only to himself, I wasn't going to let that happen, he didn't own her.

"I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have talked about him." She stuttered, letting go of my hands before taking a step back.

"N-No, it's okay Yooh-" I was about to try to reassure her but she suddenly closed the curtain between us, ending this conversation before it even started.

"Unnie, w-we should hurry if we want to have some time to play at the arcade." She said from the other side, trying to sound natural. But I could hear that this situation made her feel uncomfortable and it made me feel sorry. If only she could talk to me freely, just like she used to do back then...

**********

It was so refreshing to finally spend some time with her. It had been so long since I last saw her smile and laugh like she did this afternoon, and I really missed it.

We spent almost two hours at the arcade, to try every game, but to be honest, we stayed more than 20 minutes at the clamping machine because there was a plushy she absolutely wanted. And in the end, I managed to get it for her, what got me a big hug from her that I enjoyed more than anything. Apart from being the love of my life, Yoohyeon was also my best friend and the person I loved the most in this world. So when she moved out of the dorm, it really broke my heart.

"Yoohyeon, I want to ask you something." I said, as we were peacefully walking in the street, arms linked.

"Sure, go ahead!" She answered with the prettiest smile, looking at me. And that was enough to make my heart go crazy. Get your act together Kim Minji, she's not yours anymore and she will never be again!

"H-Hum..." I said, clearing my throat. "So, the end of our contract is getting closer and closer and I wanted to have this talk with each of you... to know what you will do, you know? A-Anyway..."

Yoohyeon was the last member I asked this question since she was the only one I wasn't sure of the answer. And honestly, I was scared of what she wanted. Years ago, I told Siyeon and her that I wouldn't debut without them, and today, it didn't change. I couldn't imagine myself continuing without any of them, especially Yoohyeon.

"You want to know if I want to renew the contract?" She said, taking me out of my thoughts.

"I-Indeed..."

"Of course I want to! Why would I stop? Dreamcatcher is everything I have. If I could, I would renew it for my whole life!" She chuckled. And suddenly I felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. But still, something was bothering me...

"And Taehyung? What if... he wants to have a family or something?" Seeing how easily he convinced her to move at his place, I was sure their relationship was going to evolve really quickly, and I knew Yoohyeon wanted to be a mother. One more thing I couldn't give her...

"Please, don't talk about this, we didn't even do it yet!"

"Really?!" I said, thinking out loud. Shit, why couldn't I just shup up?

"Yes, I-I mean... we did it after 4 years of relationship, even if I loved you more than anything." She said looking down, her voice trembling at the end of her sentence. "Did you really think I would do it only after a month?"

"I-I don't know. You live at his place and you're keeping your relationship so secret... Honestly, I didn't really know what to think." I admitted, scratching the back of my neck.

"Well... I want to take things slow and... I'm not ready to do it with him..."

"Why? He doesn't take good care of you?!" I asked, tensing up a bit. I needed so much time to accept her new relationship, but in the end, I did because I thought he was good to her. But if she told me he wasn't, I was going to make him understand the mistake he did.

"No, he does! Of course, he does!" She clarified quickly. "It's just... no, it's nothing..."

I probably knew what she was thinking about. She was scared because she still remembered our first time and didn't want to live the same thing after. And that was also probably the reason why she didn't want to talk about it with me.

"Do you love him?" I suddenly asked. I knew I wasn't allowed to ask this or interfere in their relationship but I had to know. After all, the others were probably right, she could have just accepted to be with him because she was feeling lonely, and not because she truly loved him.

"I... I don't think so." She said, lifting a weight off of my heart. "But I think my feelings for him grow every day. I don't think I love him yet but when I'm with him, I'm the happiest. It's probably just a matter of time before I definitely fall for him." She added with a smile, as the weight came crashing back to my heart.

"I hope you will find happiness, Yoohyeona. You deserve it more than anyone." I admitted. Seeing her with someone else was killing me but I couldn't complain. All I wanted was for her to be happy and feel loved again.

"Thank you..." She giggled, blushing lightly. Cute.

Even if we were together at the moment, I missed her so much. And it was impossible to enjoy this moment knowing that, once back in Korea, she would disappear again. The last month had been horrible for us and the dorm felt so empty without her, but not like it was when Handong left. We could still call her everyday and see her smile on the screen. But with Yoohyeon, we were so scared to bother her when she was with Taehyung. And as the days passed, her smile disappeared during the training and we had no way to know what was on her mind. Little by little, she was changing and we didn't know what to do.

"... unnie?" I heard Yoohyeon's voice like an echo. "Do you hear me, unnie?"

"W-What?" I blinked a few times, trying to wake up from my daydream.

"You seem so out of it today, even in the shop earlier. Are you feeling okay?" She asked, stopping me and turning me toward her, her eyes looking at me with so much worry and care.

"Y-Yeah, I was just... thinking." I looked down, feeling so vulnerable under her gaze.

"About what? If it's bothering you so much, maybe talking about it will help you, don't you think so?" She said, gently lifting my head with her fingers under my chin.

"I..." I had to stop hiding things from her, I wanted to build a great friendship with no secret between us, and I knew the communication was the key for that. "I miss you, we all do." I admitted, looking straight into her puppy eyes.

"What do you mean? And who are you talking about when you say 'we'?"

"The members. Yoohyeon, you had been so distant with us since you started dating Taehyung. You never come back home in the evening and when you do, you're so cold with us. Don't you like spending time with us anymore?" I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Of course I do! You're my family, why wouldn't I?"

"Then why are you doing that? Gahyeon came to my room crying the other night and even Handong and Yubin are affected by this!" I admitted. I didn't want to make her feel guilty but I wanted to make her see what we were going through. She was adult now, Sua made me realize this, so I knew she could find a solution.

"I-I didn't know that..." Now, it was her turn to look down. "To be honest, I needed this time away... from the group. And Taehyung understood that, that's why he helped me."

"Why?"

"To move on from you?" She said with trembling lips, a tear suddenly falling from her eye. "I knew I had to move on from you but it was so hard until Taehyung came in my life. He helped me a lot and when he asked me to be his girlfriend, I saw a great opportunity, it was my chance to forget you. But I knew I couldn't fully enjoy this new relationship if I was still living under the same roof as you." She explained, trying to hold back more tears.

The girls were right, she just accepted because she was feeling lonely and wanted to move on from me. But what they didn't think about was that this new relationship was really important for Yoohyeon and it truly helped her to fix her mind and get better. And even if she wasn't in love with him, I knew she found her happiness in him, and I wasn't going to interfere like I first planned to do.

"I hope this time away helped you." I smiled at her, putting my hands on her shoulders. "But I think you need to come home more often and speak with the others. Sua didn't say it but I know she's feeling really lonely without her roommate."

And the thing I wanted the most for a long time happened, she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly. After a whole month far from her, her hug was the only thing I wanted and now that she gave it to me, I didn't hesitate to hug her back right away. I was never going to be tired of her contact, she was the sweetest human being.

"Thank you unnie, for telling me all of that. After the tour, I will come back at the dorm, he will understand. You're my family and I missed you too so much." She said, hugging me even tighter before pulling away.

"Are you sure you're ready to come back?" I asked, gently wiping her tears away with my thumbs.

"I am." She smiled. "And unnie, thank you for accepting Taehyung. It means a lot."

"It's normal, you deserve it." I smiled, patting her head. "So now, what do you want to do?"

"Hum... ice cream?"

"Gladly!"

Chapter Text

Taehyung's POV:

"When will you tell her?"

"Tell her what?"

"Don't pretend you don't know what I mean."

This afternoon, I invited Kai at my place, since I didn't have the time to get to know him during our training days. He was such a legend in the K-pop industry so working with him without taking the time to enjoy his company was such a shame.

It started really well and he was indeed really kind and friendly, it was a pleasure to spend some time with him. We ordered food at a sushi shop and ate in my living room, on the dining table, talking about everything. But after some time, our conversation shifted to my relationship with Yoohyeon and I knew what he was talking about, I just didn't want to talk about it.

"I really don't know what you mean." I tried again. Maybe I was going to convince him.

"I'm not stupid, Taehyung." He sighed before leaning on the table, his chin on his hands. "What do you feel for her?"

The question I was avoiding so much. Even to myself, I didn't want to think about it, because I knew where it was going to lead us, and I didn't want that to happen, especially to Yoohyeon.

"Taehyung, please tell me." He said softly, putting a gentle hand on my shoulder. "We both know that this whole story won't end well, and I just want to help you."

How did he know?! How could he guess something like that when even Yoohyeon didn't have a clue on what was happening? But in fact, he was right. I had to do something about this, and I knew he could help me. So I had to trust him on this.

"So tell me, do you love her?" He asked with a friendly smile.

"Yes, I do." I answered honestly. "But not romantically."

Suddenly, I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulder. As if I didn't have to carry this burden alone anymore. And it felt good to finally have someone to talk about it.

"And when did you realize that?"

"I... guess I always knew? I just didn't want to face the reality..." I admitted, looking down, too ashamed to meet his eyes.

"I can understand that." He said, giving a light squeeze to my shoulder. Did he?! I just delayed the moment I was going to break Yoohyeon's heart and he still understood? "Yoohyeon looks really happy in your new relationship and I can see you care a lot about her, so I can understand that it's hard to stop everything."

"Thank you, hyung. Honestly, I feel like I'm the evil one in the story. But now you made me feel a bit better about that." I smiled back at him. "But it's so frustrating you know. I had a lot of relationships in my life but I never fell in love. Am I meant to... stay alone?"

I knew it sounded stupid but it was really how I felt at the moment. Yoohyeon was just so perfect and I loved more than anything spending time with her. But still, I couldn't catch this feeling of love and I honestly hated myself for that.

"So you never fell in love?"

"No..."

"Not even once? Boys or girls..."

Boys or girls? Why did he say that? What was he thinking about? It wasn't not like I was interested in guys, I never...

Damn, now I knew what he meant. Jungkook. I remembered the time when his father slapped me for kissing his son. At that time, I felt hurt and scared but after some days, I was proud of what I did, and especially proud of how he stood up for me. It was the first time he was raising his voice in front of his father, and I could see his hands tremble behind his back. But even though he was only 18, he was the bravest man ever to my eyes.

"Did you ever have romantic feelings for him?" Kai asked as if he was reading my mind.

"I like girls, I can't have feelings for boys." I answered. It was true after all, I always dated girls, why would I be into guys?

"Hm hm, sure. Remind me one girl you had some feelings for?" He said, raising his eyebrows.

Easy, there were a lot. In middle school and high school, I had a lot of relationships, and even now, I was dating Yoohyeon. This discussion was starting to annoy me, it wasn't going anywhere.

"Look hyung, I respect you a lot, but I seriously think that you're losing your mind."

"Do you?" He smirked.

It was enough. I stood up and brought back our plates to the kitchen and took this opportunity to have a deep breath. I started to regret this afternoon.

"Taehyung, you look like you're avoiding the subject so I'm going to ask you this question directly. Have you ever fallen in love with a girl?" The soloist asked as he entered the kitchen as well.

He was right. Now that I thought about it, I never had any love feelings for anyone, or at least for any girls.

"... No." I didn't dare to look at him. Now, I felt so guilty for Yoohyeon, as if her first break up wasn't enough.

"And what about boys?"

Jungkook, what did I feel for you? Why did I even start something with you? Because you made me feel good? Because you were different?

What I had with him lasted a bit more than one year, but it was what helped me the most every time I was feeling down. His kisses were so sweet and his hugs so comforting, he was really my safe zone. But as we became more famous, we had to stop what we were doing, it was too dangerous. What if our fans discovered it? But even though we stopped long ago, I could still remember how much it hurt me, it was so much worth than all of my breaks up.

But even with everything this relationship made me feel, I never thought about it as love. But was it?

"Honestly, I don't know..." I answered.

"It's normal. But at least now, you know that there might be something behind this, right?" He said, patting my shoulder. "Also, think about what you should say to Yoohyeon. Be gentle with her please, she already suffered enough."

Could I really break up with her when we were so happy together, just because I couldn't fall in love with her? Kim Yoohyeon, what should we do...

**********

After some time at my place, Kai had to leave to an appointment with his team. And as it was only five in the afternoon, I decided to go to the agency to train a bit and keep my mind busy. My relationship problem was the last thing I wanted to think about at the moment and I knew that training was going to help me forgetting for a bit.

In the elevator, I texted Hoseok to know if he was in the building and wanted to train with me. And as usual, he answered me immediately.

'I'm in the room number 6, you can join me! But first, can you go get my charger in the resting room please? My phone is almost dead.'

Got it, hyung! As soon as the doors of the elevator opened, I went straight to the resting room. But I clearly wasn't ready for what I was about to see.

Frozen. That's how I was at the moment, standing speechless in front of the scene that was happening in front of my eyes. Jimin was sitting astride Jungkook and was furiously kissing his lips, the maknae responding to his action with his hands holding tightly the dancer's thighs. What the fuck was that?!

I saw red and couldn't contain my anger after what I just witnessed. My heart was beating so fast and I felt like it was about to explode. With clenched fists and a tense jaw, I couldn't take my eyes off of them. And as if my body was acting on its own, I was suddenly behind Jimin, violently grabbing the back on his shirt before throwing him on the floor, far away from Jungkook's lap.

"Don't touch him!" I yelled at him, sitting on his waist and grabbing aggressively the collar of his shirt. "You ca-" I wanted to say but a hard fist in my face quickly cut me, leaving me breathless for a moment.

"Get out of me, you freak!" The dancer defended himself, pushing me backwards. "You really want to fi-"

"STOP!" A voice yelled behind us, suddenly waking me up. What was I doing? "Taehyung, what the fuck are you doing?!" Jungkook yelled at me, his expression was hard and devoid of his usual love and compassion. Seeing him looking at me this way made me feel so little and guilty. He never looked at me like this ever before.

"Jimin was literally on top of you! I couldn't let that ha-" I tried to defend myself but he cut me immediately.

"Why? Why did you have to interfere with what I was doing with Jimin? Did you see me interfere with the relationship you have with Yoohyeon?" He said pointing at me, as if I was the bad guy in this whole situation.

Why was everyone talking about this relationship today? First Kai and now Jungkook, as if it was the main problem of all of our lives. Yoohyeon and I had some troubles to fix but I knew it had nothing to do with what I just saw.

"Don't bring her in this me-" I threatened him but once again, I couldn't finish my sentence.

"Why would you be allowed to be happy and not me?" He asked, softening a bit. Even if he tried to hide it, I could hear his voice tremble a bit, he was really meaning every word.

"Forget about it, Kookie." Jimin said, standing up and grabbing the maknae's hand. "He just wants all of the attention, don't give him that." He added, before pulling Jungkook out of the room, far from me.

Here I was now, frozen on the cold floor of the resting room, with so much things going in my mind.

**********

After this argument, I didn't feel like training anymore. I brought his charger to Hoseok and excuse myself before leaving back home and lying on my bed, starring at the ceiling.

Why did I act like this? Was it really because I was searching for attention? But I was never the kind of person to do that, Namjoon always reminded me of this. Then why did I have to interfere with what they were doing? Jungkook was right after all, I wasn't allowed to do that, it wasn't my life. But seeing them holding and kissing each other angered me so much, I acted almost automatically.

And why did they bring Yoohyeon up again? She had nothing to do with my mistakes. She was one of the best things that happened to me and I didn't deserve her. I was just a mess who couldn't understand what he was feeling while she was hurting already enough. I knew I was going to be a part of her pain and I didn't know what to do to avoid this. Hurting her was the last thing I wanted to do.

My life was getting completely out of hand and I didn't know what to do. But as I was struggling with my thoughts, I heard my doorbell rang. Who was it at this hour? It was already past seven.

I lazily stood up from my bed went to my entrance door, picking up the intercom phone. Avoiding being bothered now would have been amazing at the moment but looked like it wasn't my time for loneliness.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Taehyung, it's Jungkook. Let me in please, we need to talk."

Jungkook. Right now, I didn't know if I should have been stressed and bothered by his presence or glad that he came to fix the situation. But I didn't have the time to think about it that his voice rang again in the intercom.

"Taehyung? Please..." He asked again.

His tone was much softer than earlier and I could feel that he didn't come here to argue with me. So without more thinking, I unlocked the door and waited for him to climb up to my floor.

As soon as the elevator's doors opened, a smile appeared on his face but I could see that he was uncomfortable. And honestly, I was as uncomfortable as he was, not knowing what to say or how to act after what I did this afternoon.

"Hum... Hey! What's up?" I asked trying to break the ice.

"Well... nothing new. You?"

"Me neither."

It was so awkward. Our discussion was superfluous and we were just looking around, trying not to make eye contact. All of this situation was my own fault, I should have never done this. Jungkook was right, it was his choices after all, not mines.

"Can I come in?"

"S-Sure!" Why was I stuttering? It was not like we never fought before. "You can sit on the couch, I will bring you something to drink."

Was I running away from him? Absolutely. But I was so ashamed of what I did and I didn't know what I was going to say to explain my behavior. 'Hey, I was just so jealous and I reacted like an animal!'. No way I was going to say that. Wait, was I thinking 'jealous'?

"Taehyung, do you need help?" I heard him from the living room.

"Hum... No, don't worry. I'm coming." I couldn't avoid this discussion so I might as well fix this problem as soon as possible.

I took two glasses and a bottle of coke before bringing them to the living room, still avoiding the eye contact.

"So what was that?" He suddenly asked, without even waiting for me to sit. He wanted to go straight into the subject, didn't he?

"Honestly... I don't know?" I answered, more like a question than an affirmation. After all, it was true. I just acted without thinking and I was still wondering why I did this.

"Jimin said that you did that because you were searching for some attention, but I don't believe that. Where you jealous?"

Jealous? Why would I have been jealous? Because Jimin was kissing my best friend? Jungkook could kiss whoever he wanted, it was none of my business.

"Why do you think that?" I asked. The last time we had a real conversation, it was during the party in Germany, and I missed talking to him, more than just a 'hello' and a 'goodbye'. SO now that I had the opportunity, I wasn't going to miss the chance to know what he is really thinking.

"So you're telling me that you didn't get angry because someone else than you was kissing my lips?" He asked again, but this time, looking at me straight in the eyes.

"N-No! I-I mean..."

How stupid was I? Of course I knew it was for that. I was the first and the only one to ever taste his lips so seeing someone else doing it angered me so much. But why? I was already dating Yoohyeon and Jungkook was a man, I didn't have any feelings for him.

"Do you miss our old relationship?" He asked, seeing that I was lost in my thoughts. "I mean, the time when we were free to share our love the way we wanted to."

I remembered that time. Every day, I was impatiently waiting for his return from school to hug him and kiss him. It was so good to always have him next to me, being able to cry in his arms, sleep on his chest and feel the warm of his body against mine. But fame arrived in our lives and we were forced to stop, scared to be discovered. After that, I felt so lonely and not as strong as before, until I met Yoohyeon. But romantic feelings never came, and I knew it was selfish to stay with her. Jungkook was the only one who truly made me feel fulfilled. So yes, yes I missed our old relationship.

"I... I do." I answered honestly, meeting his eyes to show him how sincere I was.

"You do?!" He asked, he bunny eyes wide opened. "I-I mean, me too..." He chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. "And to be honest, I kissed Jimin because I kinda... missed it? The relationship we had I mean. These last few days, I felt really lonely, especially when I was seeing you living your happy life with Yoohyeon..."

So that was why he brought her in the discussion earlier, he was hurt to see me with her. Yesterday, I wouldn't have understood what he felt at the moment but now that I saw him with Jimin, I could totally understand. And it hurt.

"Well... I get what you feel to be honest..." I confessed. "Knowing that I was the only person to ever kiss your lips... it angered me so much to see Jimin do it. I-"

"Do you want to do it again?" He suddenly cut me.

"W-Wha-"

I didn't even have the time to understand what was happening that his lips were suddenly on my lips, sending a powerful electric discharge in my whole body. After all this time, our lips met again, and it made me forget everything else. It was only him and I, and all of those memories coming back up.

Quickly, our lips started to dance in perfect sync, just like before, and I felt a wave of memories wash over me. Fuck, I missed it so much. The softness of his moves, the taste of his tongue, the contact of his lips on mine, I missed all of this, way more than I thought I would.

Without even realizing it, my hands were all over him, caressing gently all of his upper body, analyzing every inch of this muscular bust that he made so much effort to build. And feeling his body reacting so well to my fingers excited me even more, making me deepen the kiss and closing the distance between us.

After just a few seconds, I was laying down on him, my lips finding back the way to his neck and my hands discovering this new body wanted by half of our country. Just his scent was enough to made me go crazy so when I felt his hands slipping under my shirt, I completely lost my mind.

This evening started really badly, and Jungkook's arrival scared me more than anything but it turned out that this day became one of the best I had in a long time, my problem far from me.

**********

After so many years, I felt alive again. The adrenaline running in my veins made me feel like I was stronger than ever and I was so good. Who would have thought that his body against mine would transform me this way? For the first time in a while, I finally felt like myself again.

"Thank you, Jungkook." I said with a smile, touching gently his lips with mine.

"No problem." He answered, kissing me back. "But for what exactly?"

"For everything you did for me... and made me feel too." I added, wanting to be a hundred percent honest with him. After all, it was true. He made me feel different and I wanted him to know that.

"So you mean that... you're feeling something for me?" He asked, his eyes widening. "And Yoohyeon? I mean... you are cheating on her... and with me!" He said, suddenly straightening up.

"W-What? No, of course no!" I tried to reassure you. If only I knew that my next words were going to change both our lives. "You and I are just friends!"

Frozen. It was how he was looking at me at the moment, not a single sound coming out of his mouth. I knew that a thousand thoughts were running in his mind but I couldn't read anything on his facial expression, and it started to scare me. What are you thinking, Jean Jungkook?

"F-Friends? Is it really what you think we are?" He finally spoke. But I didn't know if I should have been glad or not. We just fucking had sex Taehyung!" He suddenly yelled, sending chills down my spine.

"Hm... With benef-" I tried to save the situation but honestly I was so lost. And I quickly understood that I angered him even more when he stood up from the couch and dressed up in a hurry.

"Fuck you, Taehyung! I don't know what is going on in your life right now, but you're on your own. Don't count on me anymore!" He said, walking to the door.

"No, wait!" I tried to stop him. "Let me expla-"

"Explain what? That you're cheating on your girlfriend? That you're using me only for sex? Or that you're making me fall in love even more with you before pushing me away?"

What? In love? Jungkook was in love... with me? His last sentence rang in my head again and again, so much that I didn't hear him slamming the door after leaving. My heart was beating so fast and more I thought about it, worth it was getting. I felt a knot in my stomach and my head was spinning, forcing me to put a hand on the wall. Jungkook loved me? But since when? And why?

Now, I could understand why he had been so distant since I started to date Yoohyeon and why he couldn't look at me in the eyes neither. And it honestly broke my heart. I hurt my best friend and I was about to hurt my girlfriend too. What was I supposed to do?

And what was I supposed to say to Jungkook? That I didn't like him back because I was into girls? But then, my talk with Kai came back to my mind and I remembered him telling me to think properly about it. Could I like Jungkook the way he liked me?

Too much questions were running together in my head and I couldn't answer to any of them. I needed to talk to someone and I knew perfectly to who.

**********

"Hey hyung!" I greeted Namjoon as soon as he opened his entrance door to me.

"Hey Taehyung! Please, enter!" He said, moving to the side to let me in.

My night had been full of thinking and I couldn't fall asleep, not even for just a second. So as soon as the sun showed up, I sent a message to my leader to know if I could come at his place to talk a bit. I knew I needed someone to advise me and he was definitely the best to help me with that. After all, Jungkook and I grew up with him so he was probably going to know what to do.

"So tell me, what do you want to talk about with me this early in the morning?" He asked as we went to sit in his living room.

"Hum... well... do you remember what we used to do with Jungkook when we were younger?" I decided to go straight into this subject. After all I came here from that.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, scratching his chin. Oh God no, I didn't want it to say it out loud.

"Hum..." I started without really knowing what to say. "You know the..."

"Oh! You mean when you were dating?" He cut me.

Dating?! Where did he get the idea that we were dating? We were just some friends kissing and hugging, nothing more. But it wasn't the time to debate about the past, more about the future. I absolutely needed some advice, and I couldn't wait.

"We weren't dating but anyway. So I came here because yesterday, I talked to Jungkook after I saw him and Jimin kissing at the agency, I discovered that all this time, he had romantic feelings for me."

After this revelation, I looked at my leader, waiting for eyes wide open or maybe a shocked expression but it was nothing like that. Namjoon looking at me with a soft smile on his face.

"it's crazy how you didn't notice it earlier. You're really blind, Taehyung. From the start, he loved you so much and you didn't see anything!" He chuckled.

"No way, you knew it! when did he told you?!" This time, it was my turn to be shocked.

"He never did, but it was obvious." he laughed. "Anyway, you came here because you need some advice. Tell me everything." He said, looking at me straight in the eyes.

"So... Yesterday, Kai came over and we had a serious talk about it. He made me realize that I never had any feelings for any girls and that the only person with whom I really felt like myself was Jungkook."

"Do you think you also have romantic feelings for him?" he asked without an inch of judgment in the eyes.

"Honestly, I don't know..." I sighed. It was horrible not to know what I felt, for him and for me.

"Then, explain to me what you feel for him, and I will try to put words on it." it wasn't for nothing than Namjoon was our leader.

"Well, when I'm in his arms, I feel so safe and loved. I can't help but smile when I think about him and I know I can always count on him when I feel down." I tried to be as honest as I could.

"And what did you feel when you saw him kissing Jimin?"

"I was so mad." I said, remembering how I felt yesterday. "I... I even jumped on Jimin almost started a fight." I confessed, looking down, ashamed.

But I got no answer from my leader for a few seconds and it was starting to scare me. I raised my kid to look at him, and that surprisedly, he had a large smile on his face.

"Taehyung, oh my god. Can't you see? it's typically what you call love." he said now laughing.

Love? What is it really love? all his kisses, hugs and nice words really made me fall for him? Suddenly, it was as if I was seeing all of our moments together from the start and I couldn't help but feel how much I loved him way more than just a friend. So, it was really but I felt for him, love.

How stupid had I been all this time? Love was just in front of me and I was too blind to see it. I couldn't waste more time, Jungkook had been waiting for me for too long.

I thanked Namjoon before running out of his place to drive to Jungkook's apartment. I climbed the steps of his stairs three by three before knocking more violently than planned on his entrance door.

I felt like he took hours became opening the door for me, his body wrapped in a towel and his wet hair falling over her eyes. He probably just got out of his shower but he was breathtaking, making me realize even more what I felt for me.

"Taehyung, what do you want know?" He asked so coldly. I hurt him and now, I understood why. So I had to fix the situation.

"Jungkook... I think I love you."

Chapter Text

Minji's POV:

She was crying. I couldn't see her but I could hear her struggling to breathe, her pain probably crashing her chest. It was easy to imagine her tears falling uncontrollably on the screen of her phone, still showing the name of her boyfriend who just hung up.

Or ex-boyfriend should I say. Taehyung just called her to put an end to their relationship, saying that he already loved someone else. Her who started this call with a smile was now inconsolable and I didn't know what to do from the other side of the bathroom's door.

When Yoohyeon's phone rang this evening, we were having a good moment only her and I, playing card and laughing together. So seeing his name on the screen followed but a purple heart angered me. The only think I thought about was leaving the room to take my shower and that was what I was about to do, when I heard their discussion.

And here I was now, frozen in the bathroom, not knowing what to do with the poor girl at the other side of the door. But I knew I had to do something, I was important to her and I knew I could comfort her well, just like before.

I took a deep breath and opened the door, my heart breaking immediately at the sight. Seeing her so weak and crying reminded me the old time when I was the one who made her cry. But this time, I was going to be the one to help her.

"Hey Yooh-..." I was about to ask her when suddenly, she raised her head up to look at me straight in the eyes.

"Unnie... why d-does nobody want m-me?" She asked between her sobs.

"Please, don't think it's your fault." I said, running to the bed to hug her tightly in my arms.

It hurt so much to see her like this, knowing that I did the same thing to her too. If only I could have gone back in time, I would have fix everything and I would have never hurt her this way with a lie.

"Then why? Even you didn't want me!" She yelled, crying even more and destroying my heart in the process.

"Because Yooh... You're way too good for me, I didn't deserve y-" I tried to explain but I was quickly cut.

"Shut the fuck up!" She cursed, surprising me. "Do you think I'm stupid enough to believe this?! You just don't want me!"

"Of course not! I-" I was about to tell her my real feelings but I couldn't. What I said was true after all, I didn't deserve her, I hurt her way too much.

"You just don't want to admit it, that's all." She said with a low voice, her bottom lip trembling a bit. "Thank you for the confirmation, I get it." She concluded, standing up from the bed and walking to the door.

No, I couldn't let her leave this conversation like this, thinking that she wasn't lovable. She meant the world to me, and even if I wasn't allowed to have her again, I had to show her how important she was.

"Wait Yoohyeon!" I ran to her, grabbing her shoulder and turning her toward me.

"Let me go!" She yelled, her eyes filled with tears. She was fighting against my hand but I couldn't let her. "I said let me g-" She was about to continue but I suddenly cut her... with my lips.

It was so good to finally feel her again, to taste her, to have her against me. It reminded me so much memories, our first kiss, our first date, our first time. The feel of her lips on mine sent an electrical shock through my whole body, but it quickly stopped when I felt a violent slap on my cheek, making me dizzy for a few seconds.

"I'm not this kid you can use anymore!" She shouted at me.

I wanted to answer but the time for me to find back my balance and realize what she said, she was already gone. Shit.

**********

The following day, we had the first concert of the tour and we were all so existed, jumping everywhere and talking nonstop. But Yoohyeon, who was usually so happy and impatient was now sitting alone on the sofa, looking down with a sad expression on her face.

"What's up with the puppy?" Sua asked, exiting from the changing room. "She doesn't look so great... and she didn't sleep in your room yesterday night, right? I saw her coming out from Yubin's room this morning."

"Hm... yeah, right." I confirmed.

But how could I tell her what happened the previous evening? 'Yoohyeon's boyfriend broke up with her, I kissed her and then she slapped me'? No, really bad idea. I didn't want Sua's pity and I knew it was what I was going to have by telling her that.

"Minji, just tell me what happened." She said with a soft smile, putting a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Yubin already told me that Taehyung called her to break up with up. What a jerk, breaking up by phone, it's so cowardly!"

Because breaking up with a lie was better? I made her have a panic attack and I hated myself even more for that. So the break up by the phone was really nothing compare to what I did back then. In both ways, she didn't deserve any of that. If only she could have found someone good enough for her, someone who could have taken care of her without hurting her even once, I would have been the happiest.

"But she definitely didn't leave your room just for that." Sua continued. "What happened between you two?"

Could I really tell her that ? After everything she did to help, she was going to be so disappointed. Yoohyeon didn't even hesitate one second to reject me. But still, she deserves to know. She had always been by my side no matter what happened, so I had to tell her.

"Well... After Taehyung broke up with Yoohyeon, I tried to comfort her. But she kept saying that she wasn't worth being loved so... I wanted to show her that it wasn't true..." I started. But the more I talked about it, the more I was shaking, and my hands were getting more and more sweaty.

"Oh my god... Kim Minji, what did you do?"

"I... I kissed her..." I said, almost in a whisper. But I was suddenly startled by the scream of my best friend.

"WHAT?!" She yelled, creating a general silence in the room and drawing all eyes to us, including Yoohyeon's.

"Quiet!" I scolded her in a whisper, taking her in another room.

"And then what happened? She kissed you back, right?" She asked with a large smile, so excited about this news. I could understand her in a way, because I also thought that this was what was going to happen. But no.

"No... she slapped me. And not a little slap, it still hurts now." I commented, rubbing my cheek at the memory of yesterday.

And as excepted, Sua's jaw almost dropped to the floor. Or course she was shocked, and I was too. Just a few weeks ago, Yoohyeon told me that she still loved me more than anything, and she was now rejecting me with a violent slap on my face. I was really not excepting this, and I think no one was.

"And you know why she did this?" Sua asked, searching for an explanation.

"Hum..."

'I'm not this kid you can use anymore!'. Yubin's excuse, Yoohyeon still thought that I used her by playing with her feelings. If only she knew how much I loved her, how much she meant to me. But instead, she still had in mind that I used her, only to satisfy my desires.

"She thinks that I'm still a playgirl who tries to play with her feelings again..." I confessed to my friend.

"Oh... yeah okay, I see why she reacted this way then." Of course she did. We would have all reacted the same way if we were in Yoohyeon's shoes. "Look Minji, I think it's time for you two to have an honest talk, she needs to know what you really feel for her."

What?! Telling her how I felt? No, I couldn't do that, we both suffered enough. It would have only brought back old memories that hurt both of us and I didn't want that, she didn't deserve to suffer more that she did.

"Minji, please think about it." Sua continued. "First, just tell her that you still love her, explain to her how you feel in the present. And later, you can tell her what really happened."

Was it really the thing to do? What if it was going to break us even more? What if it was going to destroy the friendship we managed to build again? I already lost her once, I couldn't lose her another time, she was way too precious to me, I couldn't live knowing that she couldn't look at me anymore.

Without answering to my friend, I went back to the room and my eyes were immediately directed to the only person I couldn't stop thinking about. Yoohyeon looked so weak, seated alone on the sofa. How would she react if I told her how I felt? Would she slap me again? Kiss me? Or just leave the room, crying again? My heart was beating so fast just at this thought, and I couldn't manage to calm it. And it became worth when I noticed a tear falling from her eyes. That was too much, I couldn't let her suffer alone. I walked to her, ready to take her in my arms, when the voice of a staff member cut me in my track.

"Dreamcatcher, on stage in 3 minutes!"

**********

This first concert went so well and we had a lot of fun, even Yoohyeon was smiling and laughing with our Somnias, it was so refreshing to see her like this. But her happy hour didn't last long and as soon as we got back to the hotel, she isolated herself in our room, so I decided to let her alone for a bit.

It was now 1 am, and I just came back from the bar with Sua and Siyeon. We drank beers, talked a lot, but we mostly laughed together and it felt so good to have this moment with them.

I opened the entrance door as quiet as I could and, as I expected, Yoohyeon was already sleeping. I quietly walked to the bathroom and stayed there for a bit, to do my evening routine and dress into my night clothes. But something suddenly broke my peaceful time, the lead singer's tears. She was crying again.

Without any hesitation, I came out of the bathroom and climbed in her bed, back hugging her to try to give her some comfort. She was suffering a lot and I wanted to be here for her.

"Please, don't cry Yoohyeon... he's not worth it." I whispered in her ears, tightening my hold around her waist.

"Y-Yes, he is..." She cried even more. "It w-was the first time I-I thought that it would last..." She added, breaking my heart. What about our relationship?

"So you never believed in you and I's relationship?" I asked. I wanted to know. Depending on her answer, I knew if I was going to have a chance with her or never again.

"I did... but you never truly loved me... so it couldn't go anywhere..."

'I did'. She believed in us, she believed in us! 'I did' was all I could hear right now. Without even realizing it, I was now hugging her even tighter. Sua was right, I had to tell her everything, she had to know what I felt for her, to let her the choice. I couldn't decide for her, and even maybe, I could get another chance.

"I truly loved you Yoohyeon... and I still do."

Chapter Text

Yoohyeon's POV:

"I truly loved you Yoohyeon... and I still do."

What? What did she mean by that? Jiu never really loved me so I couldn't understand why she said this, even if my heart was suddenly beating really fast. No, I couldn't hope again, I couldn't believe that her and I could work when I knew that she didn't have any feelings for me, and she would never have. This kiss the day before and now this confession, it was only to have me again in her bed, nothing more. Yubin already warned me once about her and I didn't listen, so now, I wasn't going to do the same mistake again.

"Please, leave me alone. I don't need your bullshit." I said, trying to push her away. Having her body against mine like this made me feel so hot and dizzy and I couldn't help but suddenly feel weak in her hold, just like before.

"I bet you, Yoohyeon, none of this is bullshit." She said with a soft voice, trying to turn me around to face her.

But I couldn't meet her eyes right now, I knew how weak I was going to be in front of her. At the moment, I was trying to be strong and not show how her confession affected me. She was my first love and, even after my relationship with Taehyung, I knew that my feelings for her were still there. But I had to stay strong and not let her get to me like she did before.

Unfortunately, my attempt to resist her was useless, since she quickly gave up on the idea to turn me around and just stood up on her elbow to see me from the side. Fuck, how could I quickly put an end to this conversation?

"Did you hear me, Yoohyeon?" She asked, softly caressing my hair.

But the only answer I was able to give her was a shy nod. One word and I knew that the tears I tried so hard to keep were going to fall.

"Then tell me, what do you think about that? Do you... believe me? I promise you that my love for y-"

"Love?" I cut her, finally turning around to face her. Hearing her say that word to me felt so strange. At the same time, it warned my heart to hear it again after all those years but on the other side, it hurt more than anything. Why was she having this speech after everything she did to me?

"Yes... love." She smiled softly to me. And that was enough to break my defense and let my tears out.

"T-Then... why now?" I cried out, trying to wipe away all the tears that were uncontrollably falling.

I had so many questions in my head and the answer for none of them. But more than anything, I didn't know if I could trust her and what she was telling me. After all, I have already been fooled once, and I didn't want it to happen again, especially after my breakup with Taehyung.

"I..." She started, probably searching the good words. "After our breakup a few years ago, I realized how mow I missed you and I needed you in my life... as more than a friend I mean. But I knew that I was only making you suffer and I couldn't bring anything good to you, only pain. So I decided to let you go." She explained, not daring to look at me anymore.

And see her this weak, tears threatening to fall, broke my heart more than anything. At this view, I just wanted to take her in my arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay. But I couldn't. How many times did she use this technique to soften me and keep me from breaking up with her? Too many and I couldn't let that happen again. I wasn't this young and naïve Yoohyeon anymore.

"No matter what you think... or what you feel. What we had once is over and I don't want to go back to that." I said, trying to look confident even if inside, I wasn't at all.

"Is it... is it because you don't trust me enough? Yoohyeon, I swear my feelings for you are real, and I only have good intentions toward you, I don't want to make you suffer anymore." she explained, gently caressing my cheek.

But I knew what she was doing. She was trying to soften me and made me fall into her trap once again, just like before. But I couldn't let her do so, just the memories of our past were able to hurt me and remind me of the pain I felt back then. I didn't know if she was lying or not, but I couldn't trust her or at least not only with these words. She might have been my first love, I needed to protect myself and take time to think about it. I couldn't accept her feelings just like that without thinking properly of what she just told me.

"Yoohyeon, I don't know if you need proof or something but please believe me." she pleaded, taking my face in her hands and forcing me to look at her in the eyes. "I love you so freaking much, Kim Yoohyeon. I love you to the moon and back, I love you more than my own life, I love you so much than words can't even express the extent of my love for you. I-"

"Please, Minji stop." I said, taking her hands off of my face.

Hearing her say all of this was making my heart beat way too fast and I couldn't help but feel warm inside. If only she didn't make me suffer like this in the past, I would have probably melted in her arms and trust her just like before. But too many things happened and I couldn't just forgive her like that.

Suddenly, I realized the way I just called her, and I knew it was too late to find an excuse when I saw the facial expression she had. Shit.

She was looking at me with a last few tears in her eyes but a large smile of hope. She knew she had an impact on me with her words and I could see how glad it made her. And even if I wasn't sure about her true feelings, I could read an inch of honesty in her eyes, as if she really meant what she just said.

But the memories of our past kept coming in my mind and just the thought of them made my heart ache. I couldn't just believe her that easily and take the risk to get hurt again. I needed time to think about it and she had to prove me that it wasn't just a trap to use me like she did before. But I knew that, at the moment, I couldn't give her a positive answer.

"You called me Minji!" She smiled widely, ready to take me in her arms if I didn't stop her. "Hyeon?"

Boom. It was crazy how just five letters coming out of her mouth could feel like a punch in my heart. This nickname meant a lot and carried so much memories. False memories. I had to keep reminding this to me, I couldn't just forgive her right away, as if she didn't do anything.

"Unnie, please. I need some time." I said, avoiding her gaze. I couldn't look at her right now, I knew how weak she could make me just with her eyes. "Please, go to sleep now, I need to think about it..."

"Of course you do, Hyeon. And I understand." She smiled this warm smile of which only she has the secret. So beautiful. "Good night, my love." She said, placing a soft kiss on my forehead before stepping back and going to her bed.

I was finally alone and able to think but my heart was beating way too fast for that. "Hyeon", "my love", why was she suddenly calling me this way? Why was she confessing today? Why was she coming back to me after all those years? My head smoked with all these thoughts and the more I tried to find answers, the more questions came up. Kim Minji, what did you do to me?

**********

The next day, I woke up with an awful headache. I kept waking up during the night and I had trouble falling back asleep. Luckily this morning, Jiu wasn't in the room anymore, she had already left. I was finally able to rest a bit and take some time to think about what happened the last evening. Well at least, that was what I though before violent knocks were heard on the entrance door.

"KIM YOOHYEON, OPEN THIS GODDAMN DOOR!" I heard someone scream from outside. Of course I knew who it was. This girl was such a pain in the ass but I loved her more than anything, she was like a sister to me. "YA, ARE YOU DEAF OR WHAT?"

Even after all those years, I was still wondering how it was possible to be so noisy from morning till night. Just looking at her was tiring me. But I had to live with it and, from time to time, I was glad to have her in our life.

I took a deep breath and stood up to open the door but I was suddenly hit by a violent tiny tornado, making me almost fall on the floor if it wasn't for the wall just next to me.

"Okay puppy, today is a big day!" She announced, starting to rummage through my suitcase.

"Hum... Hello?" I said, a bit lost by what was happening.

But the only answer I got was the sound of her creating a mess in my stuffs. Even after all these years by her side, I still couldn't understand what was going on in her head.

"What are you doing, unnie?" I asked, going to her, rubbing my eyes. This wake-up call was a little too violent for me.

"Damn, Kim Yoohyeon, you have nothing to wear!" She complained, standing up from the floor. "Are these the clothes you bought the other day?" She asked, pointing a plastic bag resting on a chair.

"Y-Yes. But can you tell me what you are doing?" I said, trying to remind her that I wasn't reading her mind and I had no idea of what she was doing.

"I'm dressing you up for your date with Minji of course!"

What. The. Fuck. Did she really just use the words 'date' and 'Minji' in the same sentence? And for me? What did you plan again, Kim Bora?

"Hum... You lost me more than anything. Can you, like... explain to me what is happening?" I asked, trying to steady my voice. Just the idea of being alone with Jiu again was making me shake.

And I knew that Sua immediately saw my distress when she stopped everything she was doing to come to me and hug me tightly. Even if we were fighting every single second of the day, she knew me better than anyone else and she was always here when I needed some comfort.

"Yoohyeon, listen to me, it's important. I know for sure than Minji really loves you and losing you is the last thing she wants. She told me what you talked about yesterday, and I can tell you that it wasn't easy for her to confess. She knows how much she hurt you in the past and she deeply regret it today." Sua explained, gently caressing my back with her hands.

I couldn't believe it. After all these years, she was telling me that she loved me as if nothing happened in the past, and to back up her words, she sent Sua to defend her. Did she really think that I could forgive her that easily? That I could forget that easily? I didn't trust Jiu, or at least not fully, but I knew that Sua would never lie to me that way, she had never wanted to hurt me. So hearing her tell me these things made my heart ache.

On one hand, I wanted to hate Jiu, hate her for what she did and for the audacity she had to come back as if everything was fine when it wasn't. But on the other hand, I started to believe that her feelings were true and that she really loved me, like Sua just told me. Could I trust her and risk to get hurt again? Or should I protect myself against her power over me? I knew that, if I went back with her, it would only take one word or one action to bring me down. And this time, I wouldn't be able to get back on my feet again.

"Puppy, I can guess how you feel by just looking into your eyes... you're lost." My roommate said, pulling back from our hug. "Take some time to think about this situation, I'm sure you need it. But try to understand her feelings too please." She smiled, gently caressing my cheeks.

Of course I was lost. How could I not be? In just a few days, my boyfriend broke up with me and my first love who used me in the past was now confessing her feelings to me. I was now torn between forgiving her and giving her another chance or rejecting her in memory of the past.

"Unnie... Do you really think I should believe her? After all... you know what she did, right?" I asked, my heart beating uncontrollably fast. Sua had always been the best adviser and I trusted her.

"Yooh, we all did things in the past that we regret now, don't you think? Of course, what she did was awful and if you chose to not forgive, I would totally understand. But I'm sure that, if you listen to what she has to say, she will prove to you that she won't deceive you again." She said with a soft and reassuring voice. "Now, it's up to you."

Forgive. Reject. Forgive. Reject. Forgive. Reject. Even though I had the control of my future, I felt like I was a prisoner of this choice, as if both choice would be a bad choice. But I was probably just overthinking again? Maybe Sua was right and I should give a chance to Jiu? Or at least listen to what she wants to say.

"So... You would advise to have a discussion with her?" I asked.

"Maybe not a discussion if you don't want to talk. But it doesn't cost anything to listen to what she has to say, right?"

"Right."

Once again, Sua had the best advises and she knew how to calm me and make me have a better look on the whole situation. She might have been the loudest and the craziest girl I've ever met, I still loved her more than a sister.

"By the way, what did you start to search in my suitcase?" I asked, remembering her sudden arrival in my room.

"I told you puppy, I'm preparing you for your date with Minji!" She said. Oh crap, I forgot that.

"So... you mea-"

"You're going out with her now."

Chapter Text

Yoohyeon's POV:

"So... what do we do now?" I asked, not daring to look at my leader in the eye.

After some talking, Sua managed to convince me, and here I was now, standing in the lobby of the hotel facing the girl who once had my heart.

"Well... I have some things planned for today that I know you will like. But are you sure you want to come? I-I mean... I can understand if you don't, I hurt you after all." She said, her voice shaking as she looked down at her shoes.

Where was the confident and radiant leader I knew? Was it because of the discussion we had the night before? Was she really telling the truth when she told me she regretted what she had done in the past?

The look on her face made my heart ache. No matter what she had done in the past or how much she had hurt me, I hated to see her like this. After all, she was still my leader, my best friend and my first love.

"Unnie, let's go." I said, patting softly her shoulder to calm her down. Even though I wasn't sure where this 'date' was taking us, I knew I had to let her the opportunity to explain everything.

"Okay." She smiled, finally looking at me in the eye. "Um... C-Can I maybe, hold your hand?" She asked, holding out her hand for me to take it. But I couldn't, at least not now. Accepting this moment with her didn't mean that I forbidding her. And I didn't want to give her too much hope before I heard what she had to say.

"I don't think that's a good idea, unnie." I said, fighting with myself not to call her by her real name. Seeing her so weak reminded me of the time we dated and I couldn't help but want to say her full name, Kim Minji. "We might meet some fans out there so it's better not to hold hands." I added, reminding her that we were famous and had to be careful of everything.

"But Hyeon, they already saw us holding hands! After all, they really like our fan servic-"

"Please, let's go." I cut her off, taking her arm in mine and guiding her to the exit.

She was going to fast with me and it made me uncomfortable. If she was going to be like this all day, I knew I wouldn't be able to give her another chance again. It would have meant that she couldn't read my discomfort and I definitely couldn't date someone who was blind to my feelings.

**********

"So... what did you have planned for today, unnie?" I asked as we walked peacefully, my arms still in hers.

"You'll see!" She said, looking at me with a proud smile on her face. What had she prepared?

We walked for a little more but "a little" was starting to become "a lot". Jiu was glued to the map on the phone, her eyebrows furrowed but she never let go of my arm and I couldn't help but smile. Despite the fact that we were lost in a city we didn't know with a map we couldn't understand, she never let go of me, and it honestly began to give me some hope about her true feelings. Had she really told me the truth the night before?

"Okay, I give up." She sighed after a while.

"Give me your phone Unnie, I will try to find the way back to where you want to go!" I offered, holding out my hand so she could give me the map.

"NO! Otherwise you will see our final destination!" She suddenly shouted, putting her phone far from me. How cute was she? "I will call a cab and ask him to take us there, don't worry about this, Hyeon!"

I wanted to say that calling a taxi was a waste of money and that I wouldn't look at the destination but I knew it was useless. Jiu was stubborn and when she had her mind on something, nobody could make her think otherwise. So the only thing I could do was to laugh at her behavior and let her follow her plan.

**********

After a while, I felt the car stop and heard the driver apply on the handbrake. Had we arrived? About five minutes ago, Jiu tied her cardigan around my eyes for me to not see where we were going to. And it made me even more excited to arrive, knowing that nobody knew me better than Jiu. So I was sure that what she had prepared for me would be amazing. And I wasn't wrong.

A few seconds later, I was standing in front of the Medieval Torture Museum of Chicago! That was the best idea ever, I loved so much everything that was related to horror, so taking me there was the best idea she could have had!

But something was bothering me. Even though I loved this kind of Museum, I knew Jiu was terrified of it. Just a few weeks ago, before my trip with Taehyung, she took me to the cinema to watch a horror movie and came out with tears in her eyes. Why did she put herselft through that?

"Do you like this surprise?" She asked with a large smile, but definitely trying to hide her fear. Was she really willing to do anything to make me happy? When had her feelings for me changed? When had my happiness become more important than hers?

Without an inch of hesitation, I took her in my arms and hugged her tightly, feeling her body tremble a little as soon as my body touched hers. I was right, she was already scared even before entering the museum.

"Unnie, I love this surprise." I first reassured her at first, guessing that, at the moment, it was what was on her mind. "But I don't want to do it if you're not comfortable with it. You're scared and I can see it."

"No, don't worry!" She pulled away from the hug to look at me with her bright smile. "To be honest, I knew I was going be scared so I spent some time this morning looking at a lot of pictures of the museum on the internet. Now, my eyes are ready for what's inside and I won't be scared!" She said confidently, showing off her strong biceps.

"Are you sure?" I asked, receiving immediately a cute nod from my leader.

So she really worked hard for this 'date' to be perfect. She might have hurt me in the past, but seeing her so devoted to me like this made my heart beat faster and I couldn't help but remember how happy we were before our first disband. Kim Minji, what are you doing to me?

"Let's go!" She suddenly said, taking my hand in hers and pulling me inside.

And after less than 10 minutes, we managed to get our tickets and entered this place full of History.

And despite all the fake blood, the corps and the facial expression of suffering on mannequin's face, it was super interesting. The people who created those machines were absolutely crazy and good for a nice visit to the psych ward, but I couldn't deny that they had a lot of imagination. The way they invented punishments for every crime like a woman cheating on her husband or a man stealing something was absolutely horrifying but fascinating at the same time. These tools were made only with their imagination. Could we be that creative today without the internet or all the technology we have?

But suddenly, someone took me out of my thoughts, pulling me to a cage at the corner of a room were a mannequin with its face covered in blood was standing.

"Hyeon, look at him! It's crazy how real he looks." Jiu said, coming even closer to look at the details of the man in front of her.

But all of sudden, the mannequin we though was fake jumped to the cage's bars with a loud scream, scaring to death the poor girl clutching at my arm. Seeing her desperately trying to hide in the crook of my neck was just making me want to hug her tightly and protect her from all the things of this museum. But at the same time, I couldn't help but smile at her reaction, it was so cute!

"Unnie, it's okay! Look, it's just a comedian!" I laughed, showing her the man now waving at her as if nothing happened.

"God, I almost had a heart attack!" She said, breathing heavily, her hand on her chest.

We greeted the comedian in his cage before heading to the exit, our visit being finished. And I could easily see on my leader's face that she was pretty happy about this.

"What happened inside, unnie? Looks like miss 'I'm not brave' wasn't that brave in the end!" I kept teasing her.

"Ya, Kim Yoohyeon! I'm not your roommate but she's not the only one who can make your bed disappear!" She threatened me, but still with a bright smile.

**********

And as expected, Jiu's idea was a success. She knew me better than anyone else, of course she would be able to find the perfect date! Wait, did I just think 'date'? Was it one? It was crazy how just one moment with her could make me forget all the pain she had caused me in the past. Part of me wanted to listen to her and forgive her for what she had done. After all, we were both young and stupid back then, now we have changed. But another part of me was ringing the alarm and waving the red flag. Was I going to get hurt again? I didn't know what to do but I knew that listening to what she wanted to tell me wouldn't mean anything, right?

After our visit, Jiu took me to a nice burger restaurant and even did her best to order our meals herself, with the little English she knew. And not without some difficulty, the waiter finally managed to understand her in the end. The food was absolutely amazing and I couldn't have asked for better company than my leader to share this lunch with.

And after Jiu paid the entire bill despite my objections, we left the restaurant to walk peacefully along the Chicago Riverwalk and I knew it was the moment I was most dreading. With our arms linked just like in the morning, we kept walking quietly, not daring to break this restful silence, until my leader did the first step.

"So... did you like my idea of this morning?" She asked, looking for an excuse to start the conversation.

"Yes! It was an amazing idea, thank you unnie!" I smiled, remembering the museum and especially the fun I had with her while visiting it.

"Great, I'm glad then." She chuckled, seeming relieved. "To be honest, I was a bit scared."

"Yeah, I noticed!"

"Yeah, well... I prepared this date a bit late. I woke up at 6 this morning so I had only a few hours to plan everything. Luckily, Sua was here to hel-"

"Wait, you woke up at 6?!" I said, stopping right away.

"Sure!"

What the hell, Kim Minji?! You're telling me you had almost no sleep to plan just one day with me and you wanted to use more time? I knew that my leader was crazy but after that, I was sure that her case was worse than my roommate's.

"And also, hum... yeah, well... you probably think I'm, like... avoiding the subject." She started, making us sit down on a bench away from the main road.

I could see her hands shaking and I knew she needed to be reassured to continue her explanation. Despite all the things she made me go through in the past, I realized how hard she had worked these past few years to rebuild a nice relationship between her and I, the leader and her member, the singer and her best friend. Since then, it was undeniable how wiser and more mature Jiu had become and with today, I was now sure that she had changed for the better. So she deserved to be heard and I wanted to show her that I was open to her explanations.

"Unnie, I'm listening." I reassured her with a soft smile, taking her trembling hands in mine.

"Okay." She said, taking a deep breath to give her some courage. "First, I want you to know that I never wanted to make you suffer, Yoohyeon. And, you will probably not believe me, but I always loved you more than my own life. Kim Yoohyeon, you mean the world to me! When I'm sad, you're the sun I'm looking for, yours hugs are the warmest and it's crazy how easily I could lose myself just with your smell around me. You will probably think I'm insane, but since I met you, I felt like my heart was made to belong to you, that it was beating only for you. You're the one I love, and you will always be, no matter if we end up together or not."

I was speechless. Her confessions sent shivers down my spine and I had difficulties breathing, my throat filled with emotion. Kim Minji, my first love, never lied to me about her true feelings? So in the end, our love was real, she never used me like she pretended, right?

"But why?" I asked what was on my mind. "Why did you lie to me? Why did you pretend to have no real feelings for me?"

"I..." She started but stopped immediately, as if something suddenly popped into her head. "You will hate my answer but it's the truth, I wasn't good enough for you."

"Stop with this excus-" I began to get mad, hearing her say this sentence once again. But before I could say anything else, Jiu cut me off, continuing her explanation.

"Please, let me explain!" She shut me up. "Yoohyeon, you knew how toxic this relationship was, right? And no matter how much I loved you, I kept hurting you and I couldn't take care of you the way you deserved. We... we tried to break up, and more than once, am I wrong? But we couldn't stay away for too long. And with you running after me, it was too hard for me to push you away."

I didn't need more to understand the end of this story, it was obvious. And the truth broke my heart into a thousand pieces. The thought that I had been living in a lie for years, hating Jiu for not feeling anything while she was actually suffering in silence, made me want to cry so badly. How dumb had I been?

"So to stop hurting you once and for all..." She continued.

"...You had to make me hate you." I finished her sentence, with a heavy heart. "That's why you lied."

"Indeed..."

Without even realizing it, tears streamed down my cheeks. Kim Minji, why did you put yourself through all this? Now, I could finally understand everything and it was now all clear in my head. I always wondered how the kindest and most loving girlfriend could break me this way but with her explanation, I realized how much she broke her own heart too in the process.

"And after all these years, I managed to rebuild a nice friendship with you and was trying to erase all of my love feelings for you. And honestly, I thought it worked for a moment! Until Taehyung arrived to take you away from me..."

I always knew why V hated my leader, since I told me my version of the story. And now that Jiu explained everything to me, I understood why she wasn't a big fan of him either.

"What do you want, exactly?" I asked. I wasn't the type to say such things but I wanted to know. After all these years of living in a lie, I wanted to know and I deserved it more than anyone. So if there was something she wanted out of this conversation, I wanted to know it now.

"I want to have a second chance with you, Hyeon." I answered right away, not even scared to admit it. "I know I change, I know what I did wrong in the past, and I know I can do way better. Kim Yoohyeon, you are the love of my life and I want to be the girlfriend you always wanted me to be for you. So I'm begging you, give me a second chance." She asked, looking at me straight in the eyes.

Her bunny eyes never lied and I could clearly see how honest she was. She definitely wanted her second chance and seeing her so determined was almost enough to make me give it to her. But it was a difficult choice and I had to think about it before I decided.

"Well, first of all, I think I need to apologize for the slap of the other day... I had no right to hit you." I chuckled a bit ashamed.

"It's okay Hyeon, I had no right to kiss you too." She smiled warmly, reassuring me immediately.

"And as for the second chance you're asking for... I don't think I can give it to me." I finally replied, not daring to look at her.

During all these years, I always thought I was a victim of a playgirl and just a few minutes ago, I discovered that all of this was a lie. Minji wanted a second chance, promising that she had changed but bad memories of our old relationship kept popping into my head. It was too big a step for me to take right now, and I knew I wasn't ready.

"But I forbid you, Minji." I smiled, pressing a little her hand still in mine. "And I promise I will think about your request. I just need some time."

"I understand." She finally smiled too. "And don't worry Hyeon, take all the time you need. I will wait for you, always."

Chapter Text

Minji's POV :

I was the happiest girl in the whole world. Yoohyeon made me be the happiest girl in the whole world. Her smile, her eyes, her words, every single part of her was the cause of my happiness, and just the memory of her hand in mine was making my heart go crazy.

During the concert we had the next day, I couldn't stop smiling and jumping everywhere. But I had to stop myself from looking at her the whole time or the fans would have noticed that something was different. Luckily, they only saw that as our usual fan service. At that moment, I was so glad of the work we did these past 9 years on our idol's image. Just like with Sua and Siyeon, the public was used to see use flirt explicitly so we didn't have to restrained ourselves too much. But still, it was hard to not take the mic and scream to the world that Yoohyeon forbad me.

And the lead vocalist might have rejected my demand of a second chance, I wasn't disappointed. I knew from the start that she wasn't going to accept but at least, she knew now what I really wanted.

After the concert, I couldn't help but keep day dreaming, already imagining Yoohyeon hugging and kissing me, with her eyes full of love like they used to be. I knew this step was still far, but thinking about it made me want to work even harder to achieve it. She deserved the world and I was going to do my best to give it to her.

"Unnie?" Siyeon took me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"Can I talk to you for a second?" She asked, looking quickly at the puppy already asleep on the couch of the changing room.

Shit. Lee Siyeon. Suddenly, a light flashed in front of my eyes reminding me who forced me to break up. If Yoohyeon told her what we talked about, my dreams were going to stay far from reality and it broke my heart. After so many years, I finally managed to fix this with the vocalist so it would be too hard to see everything fall apart once again.

"Don't you have something to tell me?" She asked once we were out of the room, far from the others.

"W-What are you talking about?" I said, trying to look clueless.

"I noticed the way you were looking at Yoohyeon during the show, it looked like you were about to jump on her to kiss her. Something happened?"

No way, there was a chance she didn't know anything. It was the opportunity for me to know more about her thoughts today. With some luck, she probably changed mind about Yoohyeon and I.

"It's called fan service, my wolf." I said with a big and proud smile of my lie. "Yesterday on Weverse, I saw some comments saying that we didn't have any interactions anymore. I'm pretty sure the comments will be better this evening!"

Please don't notice I lied. Please don't notice I lied. Please don't notice I lied. I prayed in my head while trying to keep a straight face.

"Oh okay I see. Right, Yoohyeon wasn't really in the mood to do fan service these days, because of the break up... He really chose the worst timing! And by phone?!" She started to get angry.

And I could really imagine what she was feeling toward Taehyung at the moment. Yoohyeon was like her little sister so seeing her heart-broken a second time must have been horrible for her. But even if the way Taehyung broke up was unforgivable, I wished to him to not meet Siyeon again or the cemetery was going to be his new house. I mean, I wouldn't complain still.

"At least she didn't have a heart attack." Siyeon added.

Ouch. Memories.

"That wasn't my intention..." I said, feeling the guilt coming back at full speed.

"I know, unnie." She smiled at me. "I know you never wanted to hurt her, I can't imagine how important she is to you."

"Even if we broke up years ago, she still has the same place in my heart."

"I understand."

Okay, now was the perfect timing to test her. After what she just told me, I was hopeful that she'd changed her mind about us and accepted our relationship, or rather future relationship.

"You know, sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I didn't break up with her. I tell myself that, after all this time, I've become more mature and responsible, and that I would have been more aware of his feelings. And besides, with Jaesung away, I'm sure we'd have been happy today. What do you think?"

"Ew, just saying his name gives me goosebumps." She started, but that wasn't answering to my question. "And I can understand why you're thinking that, unnie. Regrets are coming back, right?"

"Indeed." I answered a bit too quickly. But I was dying to know what she really thought.

"To be honest, I don't think it would work. Imagine you go back together, I think Yoohyeon's trauma will keep coming back and you won't be able to handle both Dreamcatcher, your idol's image and your girlfriend's sensitivities. And I think you're too involved in your career to put your girlfriend first."

Memories once again. Jaesung wasn't the only obstacle in our relationship, I was the biggest problem. I could have just admitted to the world that I was dating Yoohyeon instead of choosing my career and my image. Siyeon was right, back then, I had to juggle a lot of things, and stupidly chose to drop the most important one. But I trusted myself this time.

I wasn't going to do the same mistake.

"When you will be 40 and both your singer career will be behind you, maybe you can give it another chance but even then, I don't think it's a good idea." She added.

This talk broke my heart into pieces. Even after all those years, my best friend didn't trust me to care of the girl I loved. All I wanted was her approval, her blessing. But in return, all I got were reproaches.

I couldn't just let her talk like this about me, about us. I was going to prove her wrong, prove her that I was the one for Yoohyeon.

**********

"Hey beauty! Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you look today? You just woke up so I must be the first. Good, because I also intend to be the last." I said, waking Yoohyeon up with a soft touch on her cheek.

"Unnie stop!" She stammered, still have asleep. "You're making me blush..."

Boom boom. Boom boom. How could she make my heart beat faster already in the morning? I tried to regain my composure without her noticing and came back to the confident leader I was a few seconds ago.

"Hyeon, what do you think about this? Keep sleeping for a bit while I go down and buy breakfast for you. And after that, I will take you to somewhere nice. Sounds good?"

But the only answer I received was the deep silence of the hotel room. Damn, she already fell back asleep.

**********

After around twenty minutes, I came back to the hotel with a plastic bag filled with a pain au chocolat, an orange juice, a fruit salad and a coffee. I was sure she was going to love it, or at least, I hoped so.

I hurried to our floor and walked-ran to the room, trying not to look too excited to come back to the lead vocalist. But as soon as I arrived in front of the door, I noticed it was slightly opened. Oh no, Yoohyeon.

I suddenly had a moment of panic, already imagining the worst. I was about to break down the door, ready to confront the one who was threatening the woman I loved, but a familiar voice inside reassured me immediately. Sua.

"I understand. It's not an easy decision." I heard her say.

For a few seconds I fought against myself to not listen to what they were talking about. It was a private discussion and I had no right to eavesdrop. But I couldn't bring myself to leave, it was probably my only chance to know what Yoohyeon felt.

"It's too hard, unnie. I don't know how to handle this." Yoohyeon said.

Was she talking about our situation? I felt suddenly really bad, thinking that I was the one who made her feel this way.

"Tell me more, puppy."

"It's so conflicting in my head and in my heart. On one hand, I want to believe her, to trust her again. This part of me just wants to hold her tight in my arms and never let her go again."

Hearing this warmed my heart. Was I still this important to her? Was she really thinking this towards me. Me too Hyeon, I only want you. But I knew that, seeing how it started, there was going to be a 'but' and I wasn't going to like it.

"But on the other hand, I stop myself from succumbing. I don't feel ready to give myself to her so quickly, after all her years of suffering. And above all, I'm just coming out of my relationship with Taehyung, I need time to really realize what's going on, to get back on my feet."

She was right. I wanted so much to be with her that I didn't realize that it was going way too fast for her. Even if the only thing I wanted was her, I could understand each of her point, and I promised myself to follow her rhythm, even if I had to wait for her for years. She was the love of my life and I wanted to show her that I was always going to be by her side.

"And I think..." She continued. "I want to make her wait as a... revenge?"

Ouch. She used to word 'revenge'. So she didn't fully forgive me. I hurt her for years and now I was paying the price. Stupid Kim Minji, you only have yourself to blame. You've been looking for shit, and now you've found it.

"What do you mean?" Sua asked.

"When we were dating, I was suffering a lot but I loved her too much to break up. But when she did I... I don't think I've ever suffered so much." Yoohyeon said with a trembling voice. "After that, I felt so lonely, even if you were all here. And now, years after what happened, she dares to come to me to say that... all of my pain was just for a lie."

Selfish. I was so selfish from the start. I was the one who wanted to date her. I was the one who broke her heart a first time before promising to do better. I was the one breaking her heart again and again. I was the one who destroyed her whole life. And today, I was the one who came back, thinking that she would forgive me just like nothing ever happened. She deserved better and I knew that but I was too selfish to try anyway.

I was heart-broken, and I had no one to blame but myself. A few seconds ago, I was motivated to give my all to all, but after hearing that, I promised myself to never bother her again with all of this. I was already lucky she was still greeting me and calling me her leader.

My heart was burning and my tears kept threatening to fall. If only I could grab it and crash it my hands. It was useless after all, I understood quite well that love wasn't for me. I was about to leave but something made me stop on the spot, making what was left of my heart skip a beat.

"Minji, I love you." Yoohyeon said, at the other side of the door. "That's what I'm dying to tell her. I'm just too scared to be hurt again."

I love you, Kim Yoohyeon. I love you more that my own life.

"And what if she changed? What if she promise to never hurt you again?" Sua asked.

My heart was beating so hard in my chest that its beats almost drowned out the sound of their voices.

"If she really changed, then I want to trust her."

Without even thinking about it, I pushed the door open, running to the one I loved before kissing her with more passion and love than ever before.

Chapter Text

Minji’s POV:

I couldn’t pull away, I was too scared to. Yoohyeon’s reaction was unpredictable and I wanted to push this confrontation as far as I could. My lips were trembling against hers, feeling her contact slowly backing away from mine. Without even thinking about it, I grabbed the back of her neck, kissing her even deeper. I was so ashamed of what I just did, and now I was scared to pull away, to look at her in the eyes. Luckily, Sua was here to help me out. At least, that was what I thought before I heard to door close behind me. Shit.

After a few seconds, I had to pull away and take responsibility for my actions. I messed up and now I had to face her. Looking at the floor, I couldn’t see Yoohyeon’s expression, and it was probably better. With the silence she was leaving, I was convinced she must be upset and shocked, and she was right. I acted on a whim when I shouldn't have.

“Hyeon… I’m so sor-“ I was about to say when her lips suddenly cut me in my sentence.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, KIM YOOHYEON?! Was it all real? Or was I doing the best dream ever? Was she really kissing me on her own will? Without the alcohol influence?

Dream or not, I was going to enjoy it. I closed my eyes and deepened the kiss, pulling her closer with my hand on the back of her neck. The taste of her lips was making me go crazy, making me to want so much more of it. A taste so impossible to describe but so intoxicating and heady. Her touch, her smell, how could I resist her? How could I resist you, Kim Yoohyeon?

But faster than I wanted, she pulled back surprisingly quite violently. Looking down, she seemed embarrassed, but I couldn’t know why. Until I saw Sua still in the room. So it was indeed a dream, you never kissed me.

“I think I’m going to let you alone, you probably have a lot to say.” Sua said before leaving the room for real.

The last sound I heard was the door being closed before a heavy silence settled over the room. I didn’t know what to say and my heart was beating so fast that I could hear it beat in my ears.

“I guess you heard everything…” She finally said something. But was it really better than the silence?

“Yeah… I heard you talk and my curiosity got the better of me. Sorry…” I didn’t dare to look at her in the eyes, I was so ashamed of what I did.

“Honestly…” She started. But I could feel that she had trouble finding the good words to express what she was thinking. “I can’t tell if it’s a good or a bad thing.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, suddenly searching for her gaze. Was she really saying that she wasn’t mad? That me eavesdropping was good? Was it another one of those crazy dreams?

“I mean… I wouldn’t have been brave enough to tell you all of this… when I knew it would have made things way simpler.”

Boom boom. Boom boom. My heart was beating as fast as if I just ran a marathon. I didn’t know where this conversation was going to take us but I felt a sudden hope growing inside.

“Then… tell me what you think, as if I didn’t hear anything.” I found enough courage to tell her.

“I…”

Boom boom. Boom boom. My heart was beating so hard in my chest that it was almost as loud as her voice.

“I love you.” I thought, before realizing I said it out loud. Shit.

“W-What?” She asked confused, tilting his head to the side like the cute puppy she was.

“I-I said I l-loved you.” I repeated, way less confident that I was a few seconds ago.

I felt as if the seconds before her reply lasted an eternity. The world started to spin around me and I could feel a ball forming in my stomach. Why was her answer stressing me more than our debut in 2017?

“I don't know what to answer.” She finally said.

Damn, Kim Yoohyeon! I felt like dying just to here that?! I couldn't stand still anymore, but I knew I couldn't force her to say what she didn't mean. After all, I made her live in a lie for years, I couldn’t expect her to take a decision in less than a week.

“What do you feel for me?” I tried to guide her.

“Hm…” She started to think. And I could feel her fighting with her thoughts, probably a lot was happening in her little head. “I don't think I've totally moved on since that morning.”

Victory! But I tried to calm my joy, knowing that it didn’t mean anything. I wasn’t because she was still thinking about us that she wanted something to happened again. But it was a good opportunity to search deeper what she was feeling.

“And Taehyung? You didn’t love him?”

“It was different. I think what I liked about him was the way he made me feel. Since you broke up with me, I felt really lonely. Even after all those years, I felt like I wasn’t loveable anymore, that I couldn’t be loved and couldn’t love again. Since the first day I met you, you became my star, the center of my world, you made me feel more alive than ever. But after our break up, I felt like my heart was dead, I totally gave up on love.”

“But Taehyung made you feel loved for the first time after all that.” I guessed what she was about to say.

“Yes… But even when I was with him, I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about us. I couldn’t help but compare everything we did with what I used to do with you.”

After all the things I did to break her, she was still thinking about me. Hearing this made me the happiest girl in the world but I couldn’t help be ashamed of myself. How could I look at her in the eyes and ask her out? How could I dare think I deserved someone like her?

“Do you regret what we had?” I asked. “I mean, if you could go back in time in 2013, would you still date me, knowing you were going to suffer this much?”

“Of course.”

Frozen. That was my state at the moment after hearing an answer so fast. She didn’t even hesitate but why? Why she already think about it before? So our love was worth all of the pain?

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… we are living in a country full of constraints for people like us. Plus, we are idol and have cameras on us almost 24/7. I knew from the start that I was meant to suffer in this relationship but I loved you… and I still do.”

Boom boom. Boom boom.

“So I had the choice between two options.” She continued. “Or I gave up on this relationship and these feeling, keeping my heart safe from the pain but also from love, or I chose to give it a try, even if it meant I'd end up suffering terribly. Because it also meant I would feel loved and fulfilled by your side and it was the only think I wished for. Tell me honestly Kim Minji, do you think we should stop living knowing that we're going to die one day?”

She grew up so much and I was so proud of the woman she became. I met her when she was only a 16-year-old girl scared of the world, and here she was now, telling me how to live my life to the fullest, and I loved it.

“Are you saying that, even if we know we will suffer, w should go for it?” I asked.

“If you think this choice will make you find some happiness, at least for a time, I think it’s worth it.”

I couldn’t help but love her even more. After all these years, she became so beautiful and wise. How could I not fall in love with her even more? She was always trying to see the best in everything and didn't let the bad times spoil the good memories she'd created.

“If I tell you that I will do my best to give you back this happiness you’re talking about…” I started, scared to end my sentence. “Would you give me another chance?”

I never knew a silence could crash my heart so hard before living this moment. I raised my head, trying to catch her gaze and maybe find an answer in her puppy eyes. But against all expectations, I caught her staring intently at my lips. What was she thinking?

And without even giving me the time to think about it, she suddenly crashed her lips on mine, her hands imprisoning my face in her embrace. What the fuck?! My hand quickly reached for my thigh before pinching it strongly, the pain making me realize it wasn’t a dream this time. Kim Yoohyeon was kissing me for real!

I didn’t need more to go completely crazy. I took her under her legs and carried her to the bed before laying on top of her, deepening the kiss more and more, trying to feel her to the fullest. Her touch, her smell, her taste, I couldn’t stop anymore, I was head over heels for her.

After a few seconds, I felt her being out of breath, but I wasn’t done, not yet at least. My lips began to trace a path along his neck, absorbing all the salty drops of sweat on their way. How come even this felt delicious? But the fight I was doing inside to not take off all of her clothes was started to be too hard, I knew I needed to stop before I couldn’t control myself anymore.

With light kissed along her neck, I slowly came back to her face, placing my lips all over her cheeks, forehead and mouth. I missed this feeling so much that I couldn’t contain my joy, especially when she wrapped her arms around me, hugging me stronger than ever.

“Does that mean I have a second chance?” I asked, looking at her with my desperate bunny eyes.

“What do you think this kiss meant?” She asked with a rictus.

“I think it meant yes?” But with everything that happened lately, I couldn’t be sure of anything.

“Then it must be.” She smiled, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead.

I was the happiest girl in the whole world. Yoohyeon was the center of my life and I knew my heart was beating for her and only for her. So seeing her reciprocate my feelings was making my heart beat at 10000 miles per hour.

“Let’s go out!” I suddenly said.

“What?” She asked, confused.

“Let’s take a walk, hands in hands, with the breakfast I bought for you!” I said, showing the treasure I brought for her.

“It’s for me?” she asked, clearly touched by my action. “And what about the fans?”

“Of course it’s for you, silly! Anything for you.” I smiled, stealing a kiss from her. “And for the fans, they already know we see Sua dancing naked in the apartment every day after her shower, so I don’t think they will say anything.”

“You’re right, then let’s go.” She smiled, kissing me back.

I stood up before picking from my suitcase a scarf I bought the previous day and gently putting it around the puppy’s neck. I was too afraid she'd get sick from the fresh American wind.

“Please wear this today, it might be a bit cold outside.” I said, fighting against the urge to dive into another fiery kiss. “And for lunch, let’s eat some ham and cheese sandwiches on a nice bench, just the way you like it.”

“Sounds good. Thank you.” She smiled before standing up. “But don’t forget the video conference with our CEO tonight, it’s important.” She reminded me. Oh damn I almost forgot!

“Oh my god, thank you Hyeon! I almost forgot…” I faked cried in the crook of her neck.

This meeting was really important, we were going to discuss about the members contract with our manager and our CEO. And it was my goal to find compromises for the girls, to allow them to live their life without idol’s constraints. We were starting to get old and we needed more independence as individual, so it was my duty to convince the CEO to rearrange contracts. I worked for the meeting during weeks and I wasn’t going to give up before he accepts my conditions.

“Thank you so much for fighting for us, Minji. You’re the bravest girl I know.” Yoohyeon said, making my heart miss a beat just by pronouncing my name.

She was so incredible, I couldn’t even take my eyes off of her. I didn’t know what I did in my past life to have her, but I was more than grateful. She was my world.

“I love you, Kim Yoohyeon.”

Chapter Text

Yoohyeon’s POV:

After a month, we were finally back in Korea, and it was definitely not to rest. We had to prepare for our next comeback and the title track ‘Vision’ looked just insane. And for this new comeback, our CEO asked me to change my hair color, trusting my creativity to find something the fans would love. I liked this freedom he was giving us and the importance he had for what we wanted. For example, Siyeon was more comfortable performing in pants and Minji wasn’t really into short tops so our CEO asked the styling team to create clothes we were comfortable in. And I was pretty sure that we could count groups as lucky as us on the fingers of our hands.

Speaking of freedom, Minji had an important meeting a few days ago with the manager and CEO to talk about the renew of Dreamcatcher’s contract, and it was a success. Just like our actual contract, they were going to listen to what we wanted and we wouldn’t be forced to do anything against our will. What wasn’t new either was the right to be in a relationship. Indeed, since Minji and I started dating during Minx era, our CEO promised to protect our relationship and help us as much as possible in a love life. With the members, we agreed that his wife and him were the sweetest human being and that we were so lucky to have them in our daily life, seeing them almost like our own parents.

But what was new about this contract, if we signed it would be first, our rights to move out of the dorm. They understood that some of us were almost 30 and that maybe we would like to move out and have some intimacy. And with this fact, we were of course allowed to build a family on condition that we inform the agency in advance of our plans, so that they can adapt the group's timetable. And the last new change we would have would be the manager’s organization. To allow more solo activity as artist, Minji managed to negotiate one manager for each member and the idea was accepted.

Now that the terms were modified, we didn’t have any reasons to not renew the contract, and it was making me the happiest. 6 more years with the girls I loved the most on the Earth, what more could I ask? But out of everything, I couldn’t help but think about Minji. We were finally back together and more ready than ever to live this idol life hand in hand.

Sua unnie knew about our situation and was happy for us, but she still told me to be careful to not trust Minji too fast, and I was listening to her advice. I was keeping in mind what went wrong back then and couldn’t help but notice that today, it wasn’t a problem anymore. After one month dating, I saw how hard Minji tries to be a good leader and a good girlfriend, and she was definitely doing good. At one point, Gahyeon felt down and she managed to comfort her and later give me some times. And more than that, she was more honest with me, not hiding her struggles from me anymore. She was finally showing me her weaknesses and accepted my help, and I liked that. She was right after all, she did change, and it was for the better.

“What are you thinking about?” A voice next to me took me out of my thoughts.

“Just how lucky I am too have you as my leader.” I said, turning to a pink haired bunny. “… and as a girlfriend.” I whispered with a smirk.

“You’re so cute damn, I think I’m falling in love again.” She smiled, sending a flying kiss with her hands.

“Ew, you’re so cringe.” An annoyed dwarf said behind us. “Puppy, keep your head straight or your color will be fucked up.”

“Ok, but there’s nothing straight here…” I mumbled, but still proud of this joke.

Minji, Sua unnie and I were at the salon, they came along to keep me company while the color set in my hair. For this comeback, I found a great idea accepted by my manager that would remind the lighting and storm concept of our music video. I chose to go for a choco mint color! The girls were a bit skeptical about that but Minji believed in my idea and I wanted to prove her that she was right to trust me.

“By the way, girls.” Sua unnie added. “Tonight, Dongie, Yubin and Gahyeon will go out. So, as the nicest friend ever, I’m also taking Siyeon out to let you the apartment. To do your… little dirty things, you know.” She whispered with a smirk, letting me speechless. W-What?

“Thank you dear friend, we will make good use of this time.” Minji winked at me. Sorry… the fuck?!

**********

It was now almost 9pm, the hour Minji asked me to come back home, and honestly, I was so scared of what she must have prepared. I knew I was definitely not ready to do it but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, seeing how well our relationship started. I didn’t want her to think that I didn’t trust her, but I was just not ready yet.

I slowly climbed the stairs of the building, arriving quicker that I wanted on our floor. My heart was beating so loud in my chest and I felt like my hands were glued to my sides, preventing me from reaching the door to knock. But with all the strengths I had, I managed to raise my arm, knocking twice on the door. And what appeared in front of me made me speechless.

Minji opened the door with a big smile, dressed only in a bathrobe, her long silky hair falling to her shoulders. From which world was this goddess from? What did I do in my past life to deserve a queen like her? Among all the people who wanted her, she chose me, a clumsy puppy. And I still didn’t know why, but I wasn’t going to complain.

“Hey, my beautiful girlfriend, my eyes are over there.” She said, pointing at her face. Shit, she probably noticed me checking her out.

“Oh, m-my bad, I just don’t have my glasses.” I mumbled, finding my own excuse completely stupid.

“Well, here they are.” Minji answered right away, giving me my glasses. “And I can tell you, you will need them tonight.”

“W-Why?”

“Don’t you have a guess?” She asked with a large smirk on her face.

And with that, she began to gently and sensually skirt all the shapes of her body, making sure that my eyes did not leave the movement of her fingers. I could see from the side her proud smile but I couldn’t take my eyes off of her, she was just too stunning and… sexy. My throat started to become dry and I could feel a tingling sensation in my lower stomach. I definitely knew what was happening but I also knew I would regret it later if I listened to those signs.

I was about to say something to take me out of this crazy phase when suddenly, I heard the neighbor’s door open right next to me. And without even thinking about it, I pushed Minji in our apartment, closing the door right behind us. But after a few seconds, I realized that I was pinning her against the wall. Oh shit, what was I doing?

My heart was beating so hard in my chest that I could hear it in my ears and the heat started to rise more and more. I needed to stop all of that right now, or the return would be impossible. But her lips were calling me, her whole body was calling me. At least, that was what I thought before noticing a pink clothes under her bathrobe. Was she wearing something under?

“Good job, Hyeon, you finally noticed!” Minji said, placing a quick kiss on my lips. “This was going a bit too far so I wanted to stop that but luckily, you noticed that on your own!”

“W-What do you mean?” I asked, completely lost on what was happening.

“I mean… you saw that I was wearing my pajamas, right?” She said, taking off her bathrobe to finally reveal a cute pink outfit with some bunnies on it. No way, I started to get seriously turned on when in fact, she was in pajamas.

“Damn, Kim Minji. You will make me go crazy, I swear.” I sighed, finally realizing the joke she played on me.

“I know, but that was fun!” She laughed with the most beautiful laugh I’ve ever heard. “And don’t worry Hyeon, I know how you feel about that, and I won’t ever force you to do anything.” She added, placing another soft kiss on my lips. How cute was she?

She quickly helped me to take off my shoes and took me to the living room to reveal what she prepared for tonight. I was blown away. The sofa was covered with soft and comfy blanket while the little table in front was full of food. Some cute little home-made sandwiches, chips of different tastes, cheese cubes, saucisson, candies and a chocolate cake I knew Minji made herself. At the moment, I was using all the strength I had in me to not devour everything in a second. And on top of all that, the TV opposite was displaying the home page of the series I was currently watching. I felt like this evening was going to be one of the most amazing evening I would ever live.

“Yesterday, I checked your Netflix account and saw you were watching ‘Business Proposal’ and stopped at the sixth episode. So I spent the night watching the first episodes to be able to have a Netflix evening with you.” Minji explained before I could even ask the question. I had no doubt anymore, she was indeed coming from heaven.

Without even thinking about it, I jumped in her arms, squeezing her tighter than ever. Even when we were in a stressful time because of the comeback preparation, she was working hard for me, and I couldn’t be more thankful.

“Thank you so much Minji, you’re the best girlfriend ever!” I hugged her before kissing her on every spot of her face.

“It’s the less I can do for you, Hyeon.” She kissed me back with a large smile on her face. “Go put on your pajamas quickly and join me on the couch!”

“Consider it done!” I shouted, running to my room.

**********

It was now almost 11pm and we watched two whole episodes but I was starting to fall asleep on my girlfriend’s shoulder, the training for the comeback was exhausting.

“Hyeon, you’re sleeping?” Minji asked, probably seeing how dead my body looked like.

“Hm.” I managed to answer, half asleep.

“Let me take you to bed then.” She said, crouching down in front of me, signaling me to get on her back.

And I didn’t need her to ask it twice before climbing on her. But before even realizing it, I was laying in my bed. Damn, I really managed to fall asleep between the living room and my room? But even if I was already half in the other world, I wanted to thank her properly for what she did for me.

“Minji, I’m really grateful for what you did tonight. It means a lot to me.” I said, pulling her in my bed to hug her tightly.

“Don’t worry, Hyeon, it’s nothing. And it made me happy to make these efforts for you. You deserve it.” She added, placing a soft kiss on my lips.

“Still… you’re the best girlfriend in the world… and I’m so glad to have you by my side.” I said, fighting as hard as I could against sleep.

“I’m trying to be.” She answered, squeezing me even tighter. “I know that in the past, I wasn’t giving you the attention you wanted, and it was even worse when we were in stressful periods like now. I was trying to be a good leader and a good idol, and I think that it made me forget what was really important to me. You. But today, I’m trying my best to give you everything, because I know that just one second can destroy everything I love. So I’m enjoying each moment as if it was the last and I’m working as hard as I can to not have any regret. I want to show you that, even if the public won’t like it, even if the country won’t approve it, even if the world is against us, I will always be here, to love and protect you as I always should have.”

“I like this confidence you have, you’re a strong girl, Kim Minji.” I said before adding in a whisper. “And I love strong girls.”

“And I love cute puppies.” She chuckled with the melody that is her laughter. “I love you.”

Boom boom. Boom boom. How could she possibly make my heart beat this fast with only three words? She loved me. Kim Minji loved me. What I was feeling at the moment was indescribable but my heart was pounding so hard in my chest that I felt like it would pop out of it at any moment.

“I love you.” I repeated, trying to convey in my words everything I was feeling.

And for a few seconds, I felt like the time stopped. Despite the darkness of the room, I could see the light shining in her eyes, and I knew she could see mine too, the light that mirrored the flame burning in my heart. No words were needed, the only sound of her fast breathing was enough to show me that our heart were beating together, making the both of us breathless.

“Sleep well, Hyeon.” Minji broke the silence, hearing the entrance door of the apartment open. “I can’t wait to see you tomorrow, and the day after, and every day for the rest of my life.” She added before reaching for my lips, staying long enough to make me feel the intoxicating taste of her kisses.

“Good night, Minji.” I answered, switching quickly in the realm of Morpheus.

**********

“Quoicoubeh.”

My heart was beating like crazy. Siyeon entered in the training room just as we were about to kiss, and Minji specifically told me to never let the main singer know about us. And seeing the expression on the leader’s face, I could see how scared she was too. But I quickly realized that Siyeon entered in the room glued to her phone, so she probably didn’t see anything, what explained why she was so casual about it.

“W-What?” I asked, suddenly realizing that she said something that had absolutely no sense.

“I said ‘quoicoubeh’.” She repeated with a crazy alien smile on her face. If Minji was from heaven, I was sure Siyeon was from another planet. “It’s a French word I discovered. When someone says ‘quoi’, meaning ‘what’, someone answers ‘quoicoubeh’. It’s a fun French joke.” She chuckled, probably proud of her discovery.

“If it’s a joke, please tell me the moment I should laugh.” Sua unnie saved us from this awkward moment.

“Careful little one, or your wolf will eat you alive.” The main singer threatened, biting in the air. “Anyway, girls it’s lunch time, you should join us.” She added before leaving the room.

Sigh. I felt like I could finally breath again and looking at Minji’s relieved face, she was thinking the same. But seeing how Sua unnie was looking at us with her crossed arms, I knew for sure that the rest wouldn’t be long.

“For fuck’s sake, what do you have in your brain? Does love make it empty?” She started to scold Minji. But why not me?

“Yeah, I wasn’t careful enough, it’s all my fault.” The leader said, her head down.

I couldn’t understand why Sua unnie was scolding only Minji when we were both at fault. After all, I knew that the members couldn’t know yet but still, I went for the kiss. And I loved my roommate, but this time, I found her really unfair.

“Why are you scolding only Minji?” I interfered, wanted to show that I wasn’t going to let my girlfriend take all responsibilities.

“Don’t worry, Hyeon, I got this.” She smiled at me. But that smile felt too fake to reassure me.

“No, I-“

“Please, let me handle this.” She cut me right away. “It’s my choice to hide it from the members, and I wasn’t careful enough. I’m the only at fault and I will be more cautious from now on. Thank you a lot for helping us, Sua, you won’t need to worry anymore.”

“I hope so. Now let’s go eat quickly, lunch time is almost over.”

What the hell just happened? Why were Sua and Minji so nervous about Siyeon finding out? Did they really think she wouldn't accept our relationship when she herself was in a relationship with a member of the group? I had no idea on what was going on but if both of them were so sure, I guess I could trust their judgement. 

Chapter Text

Taehyung’s POV:

Despite the deodorant, I was sweating a lot, even though it wasn't that hot and I couldn't stop my leg from shaking. Why was I so stressed about seeing Yoohyeon again after all this time? Because I was ashamed of having dumped her over the phone? Or because I was rather ashamed of having broken up with her to be with someone else?

I already used all of my courage to call her yesterday to ask her to meet, and I almost fainted after hanging up. How was I going to survive?

Even performances to the greatest stages couldn’t make me in that state. And with all of this stress, I couldn’t fall asleep last night, I even had to use a documentary about elephants to finally managed to find some sleep. But here I was now, lacking of sleep and completely shaking.

More than 2 months had passed since we parted and it was only thanks to the media that I could get news of her. I didn't dare to contact her, even though I wanted to, and as expecting, she didn't try to reach for me either. But every day, I was thinking about her and praying for her to get better and find her happiness, like I found mine.

Indeed, after a lot of deep talks, Jungkook and I realized that we shared same feelings and, even with the fear of cameras and the country's prohibitions on this kind of love, we decided to give it a try. And not for a second did I regret that decision. Jungkook was making all of my days better, his laugh, his voice, his touch, I couldn’t be happier.

But this happiness kept reminding me of the situation I put Yoohyeon in, and I couldn’t keep living normally without talking to her about it. I was feeling so bad about what I did and I couldn’t stop thinking about her and how much I hurt her. Every daily little things reminded me of her, I couldn’t even eat my morning's cereal bowl without imagining her suffering because. So I needed to talk to her. I wasn’t going to ask for her forgiveness, because I knew I didn’t deserve it, but at least I wanted to explain to her the situation and check how she had been doing since then.

Ding dong, I heard the doorbell ring, making my heart instantly beat faster. 2:53pm, she was early from 7 minutes, a precious time I wanted to use to prepare myself a bit more to meet her again. But it wasn’t a bad thing either, I could see her earlier too.

I walked to the door and checked that it was her with the camera. A baggy jeans, large sweater, colorful sneakers and a hat covering her eyes, I had no doubt, she didn’t change a bit. And after opening the access to the building, I caught myself smiling at her sight, but it wasn’t surprising. Even if I wasn’t in love with her, she was still someone really important to me and she had a special place in my heart. So I wasn’t feeling ashamed from feeling excited to see her.

“Hey.” I greeted her when I saw her finally arriving at my floor. “How are you doing?”

“Fine and you?”

“Yeah, me too.”

And of course, this awkward conversation led to an awkward silence. What was I waiting for, after all? I made her come here and I wanted her to act as if nothing happened? How fool was I?

“So… wanna come inside?” I broke the silence, leaving some space for her to enter.

“Yeah thanks.” She said, head down, as she made her way to my living room.

It was so awkward. How was I going to do to have a normal conversation with this heavy tension between us?

“I…” I started once I joined her on the couch, but I had no idea on what I was about to say. “I’m sorry. Not for breaking up with you but for the way I did it. By phone, it was so cowardly. M-Maybe I should have wait for you to come back, I-“

“You did well.” She cut me, finally looking at me. And surprisingly, with a light smile on her face. “Are you happy with him, now?”

What?! Did she know for Jungkook and I? But how? And how could she be so cool about it, knowing that I broke up to be with someone else? Thousands of questions were popping in my mind but the only thing I could focus on was her. She was waiting for an answer and seeing her expression, I knew she wasn’t mad at all.

“Yes, I am.” I finally answered, feeling so relieved to be able to talk about this with her. “I have the impression that we've always been attracted to each other but that there were too many factors between us, that it was like an insurmountable wall. So to finally be free with him makes me happy.”

“I definitely understand what you’re talking about. And I can't help but be happy for you.” She gave me a sincere smile. And getting her approval was really the icing on the cake.

“Thank you, Yoohyeon.” I said, taking her into a hug. Even if we weren’t together anymore, her hugs were still the best and I needed one right now. “You mean a lot to me, and what you just said is the greatest gift I could have.”

“Don’t hug me too tight or your boyfriend might be jealous.” She chuckled, gently patting my back.

If anyone deserved to be happy more than anyone it was her. Despite what I put her through, her good humor, smile and kindness never left her. And after all of this, she was still accepting me and the happiness I found in someone else. I wished her all the best and I couldn’t help but hoped that she would quickly find her other half. She'd already been through enough, it was time for her to find the person who would fight for her all the way. But just as I was thinking about it, an idea came to my mind.

“What do you think about my leader?” I asked her, pulling away from the hug.

“Who? RM?”

“Yeah, Namjoon. He’s nice, right? Honestly, I couldn't have wished for a better leader. If I had been a girl, I would have definitely wanted to date him.” I said, before realizing how stupid I was. I was already, what bullshit was that? “No, wait. What I mean is that… hum… he’s not really into… you know, boys. So yeah, pretty sure he is the best boyfriend.”

My attempt to convince her to date Namjoon was probably the worst ever but at least, I tried. I raised my head toward her, checking her reaction but, seeing her raised eyebrows and questioning smile, she was definitely not convinced.

“What are you trying to do?” She chuckled. “You don’t want me anymore so you’re trying to give me to your friend?”

“NO! DON’T THINK THAT!” I screamed without even realizing it, probably destroying her ears in the process. “Damn, my bad. No, in fact… I really want you to find someone able to take care of you as you deserve. And I trust my leader 100% for that. Plus, I’m sure your personalities would fit.”

I was doing my best to convince her but I could see with her expression that she didn’t change her mind.

“Actually, I found someone too.” She announced.

“No way! Who?” I asked, shared between the surprise and the excitement.

I was just so happy for her, she found that one person for her and I’m sure he or she helped her to get over our relationship, so I couldn’t be more grateful. I definitely needed to meet that person to thank him properly.

“Minji.” She answered, making my heart skipped.

No. Not her. I was definitely never going to thank her for anything. How could she dare come back after all the trauma she made Yoohyeon go through?

“Why? Why her? Don’t you remember all the things she did to hurt you?” I said, trying to hide the anger and the disappointment I was feeling.

“I do! But let me explain before judging my choice. Please.” She begged me, looking straight into my eyes with a confidence I never saw before. She was sure of this relationship and I could feel how much she thought about it.

“Tell me then.”

“You’re right, on a lot of points. She did hurt me, like no one had ever hurt me before. But during our American tour, we talked, about our past, about our future, about the way we were both feeling. She promised me she changed and, I swear, I didn’t trust her, and for a long time. But still, I chose to give her a chance to prove me wrong. And after two months by her side, I can definitely see how much she changed and how hard she’s working for us.”

I could see how much trust Yoohyeon had in her girlfriend and, without even seeing the leader, I started myself to believe that she did change. After all, she almost lost the girl she loved, it probably woke her up. And I knew the lead vocal, she was a grown adult who knew what was good for her. I was convinced that her last two relationships made her realized what she wanted to have with a partner. She was intelligent and mature and I believed in her judgement. If she thought that Minji really did become a better person, then I was sure of the same thing.

“So you think she will stay this perfect till the end?” I asked, remembering what Yoohyeon told me many times. Back in 2012, Minji used to be the perfect girlfriend but it didn’t stop her from hurting her member.

“Well…” She started, thinking deeply about my question. “I think being a perfect idol, a perfect leader and a perfect girlfriend at the same time is exhausted and I’m pretty sure she will have her difficult moments when she won’t be like she is now. But I will be by her side to take to role of the perfect girlfriend. And I’m confident that she will never hurt me the way she did before. She understood the mistakes she did and I’m sure she won’t do it again.”

I'd never seen her so determined to defend an idea and I could only believe in what she was saying. If she had so much confidence in the new Minji, then I wanted to have confidence in her too.

“I trust your judgement, Yoohyeon. And I trust her.” I said with a smile, returning the blessing she had bestowed on me earlier. “Please, be always happy.” 

Chapter Text

Handong’s POV:

‘Hey Dongdong! My brother is in town today so I won’t be there for the whole day. Could you find an excuse to take all the members out and give the Jiyoo couple some time please? Thank you!! Kiss kiss on your little butt cheeks <3’ Sua unnie texted me this morning.

Since Yoohyeon and Jiu decided to get back together, I offered to be the commander under general Sua. I knew that, for now, we had to hide it to Siyeon and I was willing to help them if it meant seeing the puppy happy like she used to. But now that I had to find something on my own, I realized how hard was the main dancer’s mission. What the hell was I going to invent?

“Hey Dongie!” Siyeon took me out of my thoughts. “Why are you making that face? Did a ghost sent you a message?”

“W-What face?” I tried to fix my mistake. “Just a crazy video on Instagram, you know.” I chuckled, wishing to have better skills in acting. But she just nodded and left, probably believing what I just said. Oof.

Today, we were at the agency and decided to train a bit together and to film some tiktoks for future contents. But we were Sunday, so we were probably going to go out in the afternoon, to breath a bit after all the comeback stress. I had to find quickly something to take all the members with me and let Yoohyeon and Jiu alone, but nothing crossed my mind. Until…

“Hi girls!” Said a masculine voice entering the room. There was my idea!

“Hey Kai!” My leader answered, hugging her friend. “Do we miss you too much?”

“Hm, must be that.” He laughed. “I just realized I didn’t have your news for some time so I decided to use my day off to come here.”

There was no way I was that intelligent, I was myself surprised by the crazy idea I just had. But Yoohyeon had better be grateful for this because I was going to use a huge lie on all of my members. But first, I had to fix my acting skills.

“Hey, Handong! How are you doing?” He asked me, but at my surprise, in Mandarin.

Did he know how to speak? But I didn’t have the time to wonder this kind of things, it was a great opportunity to start my plan.

“H-Hi Kai! I didn’t know you could speak Chinese!” I answered in my mother tongue, trying to act shy in front of him, seeing the gaze of my members on me. But in fact, I was half playing it. After all, it was super impressive to have an EXO member in our training room.

“W-What? I’m sorry, my Chinese is not good, I’m trying my best to learn it.” He shifted back to Korean a bit ashamed, avoiding my gaze.

I couldn’t help but find him cute. Even if he was the Kai that everyone loved, he was still so humble and was trying his best. I almost felt bad for putting him in a bad position by answering in Chinese.

“I’m sorry Handong, I promise to work harder on my Mandarin skills.” He suddenly bow, startling me. Why did he take it so personally? I honestly didn’t know what to answer to that, he was so dedicated.

“I-I… Don’t worry, I’m sure you will be good in no time.” I chuckled, not really believing my own word, knowing how hard Chinese was.

But suddenly, someone grabbed my arm behind me and took me out of the training room before closing the door behind us. Siyeon was now looking at me with a huge smirk on her face. Well… my plan must have worked then.

“What was that?” She asked, her arms crossed on her chest.

“What was what?” I answered innocently, but knowing definitely what she was talking about.

“This!” She screamed-whispered, pointing at the room we were coming from. “I mean… Kai trying hard to speak Mandarin, you being all shy in front of him. Are you dating?!”

“Who is dating?” A voice suddenly asked next to us. Jiu was looking at us, half scared and half shocked. She was probably thinking that we were talking about Yoohyeon and her, I had to reassure her quickly.

“Hum… Siyeon unnie thinks that Kai and I are dating.” I gulped.

“Oh! Right, I noticed that too!” She started to laugh with the main vocal like two kids excited about a crazy gossip they just discovered. “So you’re dating?!” She asked me once they finally calmed down.

“No!” I answered a bit too fast, before remembering my plan. Damn, their excitement almost made me lose my concentration, I had to stay focus on my mission. “I-I mean…”

“You mean what?!!” Siyeon almost jumped on me. Help, she was crazy.

“Well… we’re definitely not dating but… I think I kinda… like him?”

“OH MY GOOOOOD!!” She screamed, probably waking up all the late risers of the neighborhood.

“Shh!” I tried to shush her. “Please, don’t let him know!”

Siyeon loved way too much gossips, it was too easy for me to make her believe in this lie. Now, I had to make Jiu understand that it was only to let her the day.

“Dongie, it’s the perfect day!” The main vocal added. “We all are on a day off, let’s hang out all together with him, you know as a ‘friendly’ hang out between friend, so that you can get closer to him!”

“Y-You think?” I stuttered. Was I that good at acting? Netflix, wait for me, I will be your next biggest actress.

“Of course!! Dongie let’s do that!”

“Then, can you ask the members? If I do it myself, I’m scared they will suspect something…”

Even if lying was bad, I was having so much fun doing that. Siyeon was just so into it and after all, it was easy for me to tell her at the end of the day that, in fact, he wasn’t my type. Plus, she was going to organize a great hang out with the members and I knew I was going to have fun with them.

“Don’t worry about anything Dongie, I got your back!” She said, before going back in the training room, leaving me alone with my leader.

“Soooo, how did y-“ She started with a smirk, probably ready to bombard me with questions.

“It’s a lie, unnie. Please enjoy your day with Yoohyeon, I will keep the members away.” I smiled at her, showing her that I was still ready to help them.

And she didn’t need more than that before taking me in her arms. Even from afar, I could see that it was hard for them to have a normal couple life with the crazy schedule we had and the members around. So she was probably really grateful for my help. I hugged her back for a few seconds, before the training room door opened on a smiling puppy.

“We’re going to an amusement park, I’m so excited!” She said, grabbing Jiu unnie and shaking her in all directions as she often did.

Oh damn, of course she didn’t know, I didn’t have the opportunity to tell her that it was a lie. But seeing the leader’s expression, I knew she had a plan.

“Yoohyeon, oh my god! Are your memories that short?” She said, stopping her right away.

“What-“ The puppy asked, completely lost.

“You’re seeing your brother today! You even asked me to take you in town by car since I’m also seeing a friend!”

“Today, really? But you didn’t talk to me about it.” Siyeon said, skeptical.

“Oh yeah, I remember! You told me that too! Unnie, it was yesterday evening, you weren’t back home yet!” I added, trying to make it look real.

“That must be it then!” She was finally convinced. “Anyway, let’s not waste any time let’s go!” She quickly changed subject, pushing me in a hurry to the entrance.

I had only the time to see my leader mouth a ‘thank you’ before ending up in Kai’s car. I didn’t know if it was because of the idol’s presence or the impressive modern vehicle I was in, but I felt so little in my seat. Plus, the members let me alone in his car for a 30-minute car ride while they all took one of the agency car Yubin would drive. But after 10 minutes, I finally realized that I forgot the most important thing I needed to hang out.

“Oh my god, I forgot something!” I said in horror, feeling the heat rise to my face with the anxiety.

“What? Your phone?” He asked, searching for something in his pocket. “Here you go! I found it in your training room, thought it could be useful.” He handed me my phone with a smile.

What the hell? How could I forget my phone? And did I manage to not realize it was missing? I took it, still wondering how a stranger thought about it for me and thanked him but it wasn’t the object I was thinking about.

“In fact… I was thinking about my cap. I never go out without it.” I admitted, feeling naked without it on my head.

But suddenly, Kai stopped the car on the side of the road and walk out to the back of the vehicle. What was he doing? He opened the trunk and I heard him start to turn over all his belongings, he was probably searching for something under all of his stuffs. I could even see the girls' car parked behind us in the rearview mirror, and they looked as lost as I was. But after a few minutes, he came back next to me, looking satisfied.

“Here you go!” He said, handing me a nice white cap. No way, did he really stop the car for that? “My sister forgot it long ago here in my car. I have other caps but I thought it would be too large for your little head. And I thought that this one would fit well with the beautiful white highlight in your hair.” He chuckled. “Here you go, princess.” He added, adjusting it on my head.

Now I was hot, but I knew it wasn’t because of the anxiety anymore. Why did he call me ‘princess’ all of sudden? It was probably a nickname he was given to all of his friends who were girls, no? I thought I already heard him call Jiu unnie ‘princess’ too, I was sure it was a common nickname. And he was also nice to everyone, I had no doubt. I was just being stupid for nothing.

“T-Thank you Kai.” I tried to hide my red cheeks under the cap.

After 15 minutes, we were finally out of Seoul and I loved the way the countryside rolled by before my eyes. From fields of wheat to pastures of cows and sheep, I couldn't help but think about the country I came from. These landscapes reminded me of the road trips I used to take with my parents, admiring the Chinese countryside and just the thought of it made me nostalgic. I liked living in Korea with my members, but even today, I sometimes felt homesick thinking about what I left behind.

“I need your opinion on something.” Kai suddenly took me out of my thoughts. “Yesterday, I saw a girl on Instagram talking about her favorite Disney character. And for her, Aurora from ‘Sleeping Beauty’ was the most beautiful princess but I disagree, to a 100%! The girl was like ‘yeah, with her long blonde hair and her dress changing color, she’s so beautiful’, but it only made me upset. Do you really judge the beauty of a girl only by her hair and her dress?”

Why was he suddenly talking about Disney princesses? And why did this subject made him so upset? I could even see him clenching his fists on the wheel, I could understand that this was really important for him to share his thoughts on this.

“Then… who do you think is the most beautiful Disney princess?” I asked, kind of interested about what was a beautiful woman for him.

“For me, it’s Elsa from Frozen.” He said. Oh. “I mean, yeah, physically she’s beautiful. Nice make up, nice outfit, nice hair and al those things that makes kids love their dolls. But more than that, I like how strong and independent she is. She needs no one but herself to fight for what she wants, no need for a man who’s just going to steal the spotlight. I liked how Disney wanted to show that she doesn’t need a charming prince but only the love of her friends and family. So yeah, I think that the most beautiful Disney princess is the ice princess, strong and independent.” He ended up his speech, a satisfied smile on his face.

Ice princess, why was he using this term when Elsa was a queen? And seeing how well he knew her, he shouldn’t have made this mistake, right? Did he know that my nickname was the ice princess or was it just a coincidence? I had to stop all this thoughts, I started to feel the heat from earlier and I knew it meant that my cheeks were changing color. This was a pure coincidence and a simple mistake from him, nothing more.

“B-But Elsa is a queen, you know. So you probably meant ‘ice queen’, right?” I corrected him.

“Is she? Damn, she's going down in my esteem! Is there any ice princess, then? Because SHE must be the most beautiful princess of all!”

What. The. Hell. I tried to fix his mistake to clean my head but he just made it even messier. But once again, I was sure it was only a pure coincidence, nothing more, nothing less. What else could it be, anyway?

“Oh also…” He added with a softer tone. “Thank you a lot for helping Yoohyeon and Minji. I don’t know how much your leader shows you but I can tell you she’s really grateful for what you do every day to help them. I talked a bit with her and she told me that she doesn’t know what to do to thank you but you’re really taking a heavy weight off of her shoulder, just with your presence, you know.”

Oh, now I could understand why he was so nice to me. I knew how he was with Jiu and I could tell that he would have done anything to help her. So that was probably what he was trying to do now, being nice to me as a repayment. I didn’t know why, but it made me feel disappointed. After all, I was maybe asking for too much. Of course that a huge idol like him would not have any interest in me. But at least, he didn’t let me hope for too long, I quickly discovered why he was acting this way with me. And luckily in a few minutes, we were going to arrive to the amusement park ‘Everland’ and spend the day with my other members. I had to pretend for only one day and after that, Kai and I were going to part way as if nothing happened. Only one day, nothing more.

Chapter Text

Handong’s POV:

As soon as we parked, I left his car in a hurry without even looking back and ran to my members. I’ve never been so relieved before to come back to them cause at the moment, they were like my lifeline. But I didn’t even have the time to breathe that Siyeon started to look at me with a large smirk on her face. Damn, I knew that this day was going to be awful, Yoohyeon was going to owe me a big one here.

“Sooo, how was the car trip?” The main vocalist asked.

“It was horri-“ I started before remembering that I was supposed to like him. “It was really nice, Kai was really good to me.” I nodded, trying to convince myself at the same time. He was annoyingly good to me, I wanted to say instead.

“Really?” She continued. “And did he say something cute or romantic?” She asked, eager for more gossip.

I was about to answer no but something suddenly came to my mind. ‘Is there any ice princess, then? Because SHE must be the most beautiful princess of all!’. What the fuck was that? He only wanted to mess with my head and I didn’t find it cute or romantic at all.

“Unnie, is it your cap?” Gahyeon suddenly asked. “I never saw it before though.”

“I-“ I was about to answer but was suddenly stopped but an arm put around my shoulder. What was that again?!

“No, it’s mine!” Kai said, his face only a few centimeters away from mine. And when I thought it couldn’t get worse, he turned his head toward me, getting even closer. “This lady forgot hers so I gave her mine.”

Boom boom. Boom boom. His arm around me, his body against mine, his face only a few centimeters away, I couldn’t do it anymore. I was willing to do anything for my members but right now I just felt too oppressed and the heat coming more and more to my face wasn’t helping at all. I needed air and now.

“Let’s go now.” I said, colder that what I intended to, but at least I had an excuse to push Kai away and walk at the front, finally breathing.

At the entrance, Kai paid for our tickets, what didn’t even surprise me at this point, and we entered in the park, huge roller coasters and nice smell of churros welcoming us in. It felt refreshing to think that we were having a day off after all this work and that we could finally enjoy some free time between us. Plus, this place was an amazing idea. I didn’t like strong rides but I really enjoyed spending some time with my friends in amusement parks.

“So?” Gahyeon asked with a cute smile, taking my arms in hers.

“So what?”

“With… mister Kai.”

“Oh.”

What about him? I didn’t have anything to say except that he had the bad habit to make me go crazy for absolutely no reason. I was grateful for everything he did for Minji and Yoohyeon, but I didn’t want him to thank me for what I did in this way.

“Honestly, I think you have a chance with him.” She continued.

“What do you mean?” I asked, not understanding. What would she say that when what was happening between Kai and I was false. After all, I was just pretending and he was just grateful for helping his friend.

“The way he looks at you, I know he likes you.” She said with a sincere smile.

“I don’t think so.” I said, sounded surprisingly disappointed. Even though I wasn’t. Or was I? No, why should I be?

“Come on, girl. You didn’t see how he was looking at you? The way he gave you his cap, the way he paid for us just because you were here.”

“No, he just paid because… he is a gentleman, or I don’t know.” I tried to expose my point of view but I could clearly see that she didn’t want to listen.

“Unnie, he never talked about paying for us until you took out your wallet. And I know you didn’t notice but after paying, he checked on you. he probably wanted to make you happy and draw a smile on your face.” She added, pushing me lightly with her shoulder.

“Gahyeon, listen I-“

“No, I didn’t finish, unnie. When you pushed him away earlier, he was genuinely worried about you. I could see it in his eyes, he wasn’t hurt by your move, he just wanted to make sure you were okay. Dong unnie, he deeply care about you, I can see it. And I can tell you that he doesn’t behave like this with any of us, not even Jiu unnie.”

Was all of this real? Thoughts started to flow in my head and I couldn’t help but think about every moment we had since the start of the day. Him bringing me back my phone, giving me his cap, calling me princess and complimenting me. So he really did all of that because he liked me? But the more I thought about it and the more I found it absurd. We didn’t know each other that much, we only met a few times during our dance training for ‘Love shot’ but nothing more.

“Gahyeon, I know you truly believe it but let’s be serious two seconds. How can a famous and perfect guy like him like someone like… me?”

“You mean the most beautiful, nice and sweet unnie I’ve ever met?” She chuckled. And I couldn’t help but smile too, she was the best to boost my mood. “Joke aside, I know what you mean. But look, Taehyung liked Yoohyeon! And even if they broke up, I know that they deeply care for each other.”

Yeah she was right, as always. But it didn’t mean that Kai liked me in that kind of way, he was maybe just worried for me as a friend. And even if he was interested, I wasn’t at all. I was just doing that to help Minji and Yoohyeon, nothing more.

“Gahyeon, look. If I came here with Kai and you, it was mainly to take Siyeon away from our couple, to let them have their peaceful date. I… I don’t really like Kai…” I admitted, a bit ashamed of the way I used her.

“Oh, okay I get it.” She said, but I knew I disappointed her. Until I raised my head to see a smile on her face. “You know unnie, it’s not because your reason to come here was false that you can’t be open to the proposition. Please, here me out. From what I saw, he likes you and, you CAN’T argue on this, I know he doesn’t leave you indifferent either. Am I wrong?” She finished with a smirk.

I didn’t know what to answer. If I thought about it, it was true that every little attention he gave me made me feel something inside, even though I didn’t exactly know what it was. And earlier, was I really feeling oppressed or was it his proximity with me that made me feel that strange?

“I can see that you’re a bit lost and I understand.” She took me out of my thoughts. “So if I had an advice for you, it would be to just enjoy your day with us, and with him. And don’t be scared of what you might feel, just accept it, okay?”

“Yeah, got it.” I finally smiled. “Thank you Gahyeon, you’re the best.” I kissed her on the cheek, hoping that this kiss could show how grateful I was to have her.

“Waw Gahyeon, how does it feel to be kissed by a human-sized cat?” A masculine voice said behind us, before Kai walked in front of us, with some churros in his right hand.

“Really nice! Wanna try?” She smirked before I shut her by pushing her with my shoulder. Did she lose her mind?!

“I would love to but I’m pretty sure the princess over here would turn redder than a tomato.” He chuckled, pointed at me.

They definitely lost their mind, both of them. I tried to hide my face, feeling the heat burning my cheeks, but they surely could still see the red from my ears and I knew it was the reason of their laughs.

“Anyway, Handong.” Kai said once they both calmed down. “This is for you, Sua told me you liked churros.” He smiled, giving the cone of food he had in his hand. And I couldn’t help but notice Gahyeon’s smile on the side. So was she really right after all?

“Y-You didn’t have to…” I said, but still grateful for what he was doing for me. I had no idea about what his intentions toward me were, but as Gahyeon said, I just needed to enjoy the moment and trust my feelings.

“Don’t worry, it’s my pleasure.” He smiled, taking my hand in his to place the churros in it. And as soon as his hand brushed mine, I felt curls run down my back.

“Thank yo-“ I was about to say but I suddenly got cut by a high pitch voice screaming behind us.

“KAIIIII!!!” Three girls in their twenties screamed, running toward us before jumping in his arms. “We love you so much!!”

“Hey girls, how are you doing?” He chuckled, impressing me with his calmness in this unexpected situation. “Are you Exo-L maybe?”

“Yeah, since your debut!”

“Waw crazy, thank you so much!” He smiled, genuinely happy.

These girls were so lucky to have an idol like him, if only they knew that he was even better than what they could imagine. I was about to walk away to my members, to let him have his time with his fans when I suddenly heard him call me.

“Girls, this is Handong!” He said, pulling me by the arm to bring me back to him. “She is a member from the group Dreamcatcher, they are amazing, you should stan them!” Why the hell was he doing that?!

“Oh… Are you guys… dating?” One of the girls asked, looking a bit disappointed.

“Not at all, I’m just hanging out with all the group, look!” He pointed the rest of the members. “You have Dami there talking with Siyeon, Sua doing something on her phone and Gahyeon with the pink dress! They are really nice and talented, you should definitely look up to their group!”

“Then we will! Anyway we need to go, that was so nice meeting you guys!” They waved before leaving.

I waved back, feeling like I could finally breathe correctly once they were out of sight. But still, I felt like someone was watching me, before turning my head and realizing that the Exo member was looking at me with a smirk.

“So?” He asked.

“So what?”

“They asked if we were dating and I said no… would you rather I had said yes?” He asked, lightly tilting his head to the side like a puppy.

“What would I? We’re just friend, silly.” I said, before walking away from him. But I actually wanted to hide from him the colors of my cheeks. How come he was able to make my heart beat so fast with this kind of stupid joke?

**********

We'd done so many activities in the morning that we didn't realize how late it was, and ended up having a late lunch around 2pm. I had so much fun with my members and I had to admit that Kai was a good company to be with. He was so funny and kind, always up to try anything to make the members happy. Even going in the haunted house with Siyeon so that she wasn’t alone.

For lunch, we decided to go for burger we found in a random restaurant in the park, and of course, Kai insisted to pay. So to thank him, I offered him a smoothie he seemed to want, and I could see to his smile that it made him really happy.

“Let’s do this roller-coaster!” Gahyeon suddenly shouted, pointing at a red crazy ride from where we could hear people screaming in the multiples looping. No, there was no way I was riding this one, or I would die for sure.

“I-I’m not so sur-“ I tried to interfere but the members all agreed one by one, making me feel a bit ashamed to let them down.

“Kai, what do you think?” Siyeon asked to the only guy of our team.

“Well…” He started with a smile, and I was convinced he also wanted to try this roller-coaster. “I don’t think I’ll follow you girls on this one. I just ate so it wouldn’t be a good idea.” He said, looking straight into my eyes. “Handong, you shouldn’t do it either. With the churros and the lunch, I’m scared that your stomach won’t hold this ride.”

My saver.

“Y-Yeah, I think you’re right, it wouldn’t be a good idea.” I agreed, trying to express how grateful I was to him through my eyes.

“Oh, I see…” Gahyeon answered, a bit disappointed. “Well, is it okay for you guys if we do it and you just wait for us?”

“Of course, go ahead and have fun! But the queue is pretty long so I think we’ll just find something else to do. Let’s text each other when we’re done!” Kai said, before the girls nodded and left for their ride. “So what do you want to d-“

“Thank you so much.” I cut him, hugging him as tight as I could.

I knew we were in a public place and everyone could see and probably recognize us but I absolutely wanted to thank him. I was terrified of roller-coasters but I didn’t want to disappoint my members and he saved me in the best way possible, even though I knew he also wanted to try this ride.

“Hey princess, there’s nothing you need to thank me for. I saw you were feeling uncomfortable and I did my best to help you.” He said with this calming voice I liked. “I just don’t like to see you feel bad, your smile is too beautiful to disappear behind such expression, don’t you think so?” He added, lifting my chin toward his face with the tip of his finger.

That was sexy.

“I…”

“你很漂亮.” He cut me.

“W-What?” I was startled by him suddenly speaking my native language.

“Isn’t it how you say it? You are beautiful?”

“Y-Yeah, that’s how you say it.” What the fuck, I could now even hear the beats of my heart in my temples.

“我觉得你的笑容很美，我想多看几眼. (And I think your smile is so pretty, I want to see it more often.)” He added, his face only a few centimeters from mine.

And I couldn’t help but stare at his soft lips moving as he spoke this language I missed so much. Why did they look so… tastable? But I suddenly came back to reality when I realized that the distance between us was getting smaller and smaller, his lips coming dangerously close to mine. No, I can’t. I thought, quickly moving back. In the middle of all those people who could recognize him, how could he do something like that?!

“I-I’m sorry.” He apologized, lightly bowing his head to me. I wanted to stop him but I was frozen from what just happened.

“L-Let’s just find something to do while waiting for my members.” I finally managed to say after a few seconds.

And for at least 5 minutes I was walking in front of him, pretending to search for some activities but I was actually replaying what happened again and again. So Gahyeon was right after all, he was indeed interested. But why me? Wasn’t he scared of paparazzi? Did he even know me enough to like something about me? So many questions were running in my head and I had the answer for none of them.

We walked a bit more before finding something that both of us wanted to do, the Ferris wheel. I already did this once when I was young in China, but it wasn’t as big as this one. And even from down there, I could imagine how nice the view must be from up there. I wanted to do it and I could see from Kai’s sparkling eyes that he wanted too.

We walked to the queue and, for the 10-minute-wait, we kept silent, still embarrassed from what previously happened. So I was just starring at my shoes, scared to meet his eyes if I raised my head.

“Next!” Someone called us, making Kai and I entered in the small booth and sitting across each other.

But no sooner had he closed the door than the ground began to recede further and further away. I felt like a child again, the thrill of the height rising rapidly within me as a smile spread across my face. But I suddenly felt the cabin move strongly before it steadied again, tilting to one side. I turned my head to the side and realized that Kai had changed side to sit next to me.

“What are you doing?” I asked a bit stressed, now that the booth was not balanced correctly anymore.

“Don’t worry princess, I got you.” He said with his reassuring voice. And I couldn’t help but feel affected by it… again. What kind of super power did he have to always make my heart skip a beat with just a few words.

Being so high up seemed unreal. Down below, I felt like an ant lost in the crowd and the noise. But up here, out of this world, I felt like I was finally breathing. Passers-by were like moving dots, and the roller-coasters that terrified me seemed small and harmless. And although the man at my side sometimes annoyed me in a strange way, I had to admit that his presence was comforting.

“Handong, there was something I was wondering.” Kai suddenly asked me.

“Sure, tell me.” I said, turning my attention to him.

“Well… it will probably make you a bit uncomfortable, especially after what happened.” He awkwardly chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. “I think you are really beautiful, and I mean it! It’s not only to joke or… flirt or something.” Boom boom. Boom boom. “So I was wondering, why do you always wear a cap? I think it’s really a shame to hide your pretty face.”

Once again, my heart was beating fast and I knew it wasn’t because of the thrill of the height, but because of what he just say. Was he really asking me the question or he just wanted to tease me? But seeing the way he was looking at me like a kid waiting for an important answer from his mom, I understood that he was serious about it.

“Well… I think the cap is a way for me to protect myself.” I tried to find an explanation.

“What do you mean?” He asked with a soft voice that made me want to share more.

“I… When I arrived in Korea, I was lonely and scared. I felt like everyone was looking at me and… judging me. It made me feel so bad. So I decided to wear a cap and always look down. That way, they couldn’t see me anymore. That’s why, still today, I wear a cap to feel… protected from all the negative things out there.” I explained, feeling a lump form in my throat from the emotion of thinking back on all those difficult moments.

“And… do you need to be protected from me?” He asked with puppy eyes. Damn, Yoohyeon wasn’t the only one, actually.

“No, not with you.” I answered sincerely.

I already shared some things to him I never shared and I liked the way he was listening without judging. He had this reassuring and caring look that made me want to trust him. So I wanted to be honest with him.

“I know it’s probably too early to say this kind of things, and I’m sorry if it scares you..” He started, taking the cap off my head and staring at it for a while before continuing. “Handong, let me be your cap. I want to be the one who protects you from everything that can hurt you, but without preventing you from shining like this does.” He suddenly confessed, pointing at the hat in his hands.

Speechless. I was speechless. I thought I must have seemed crazy just staring at him when he had just told me he wanted to have a special relationship with me. But I didn’t know what to say, what to think, or even what I was feeling. Was I happy? Was I sad? Was I mad? No, I was just… lost. But he suddenly laughed, immediately dispelling the heavy atmosphere that had just descended on us.

“Handong, you don’t have to answer anything, don’t worry.” He smiled, gently caressing my cheeks. “I just wanted to share what I was feeling for you. Actually, when I saw you the first time in the training room, hidden under your cap, I could feel that you went trough a lot. But you still worked so hard and I found you so brave. And the way Minji was talking about you when I was hanging with her, I couldn’t help but fall more for you. Handong, you are wonderful, courageous, loyal, and always giving all of you for the persons you care about. How could I resist?”

And now, how could I resist? My heart never beat that fast for anyone even though I knew almost nothing about him before this morning. And he did more for me in one day than any men before him. With Kai, it was the first time I felt so free to talk about me, and about the hard times I had to go trough when, even to my members, it was a topic I didn’t want to talk about. I got to know him for only a day but something was sure, he was special. And he was right, it was too early to confess and too early to answer. But there was still one thing I wanted to do.

I grabbed a piece of his blouse with the tip of my fingers and pulled him toward me, closing my eyes before feeling his lips lightly brushing against mine. My first kiss. To others, it might have seemed like a simple smack, a worthless touch. But for me, it was the ultimate proof that I trusted him. And I knew he understood that when he didn't try to deepen the kiss, only enjoying this moment that felt like stop in time.

After a few seconds, I finally pulled out, the sound of my heart still beating hard in my stemples. After this time, I could see that I was the one who made him speechless.

“You’re right, it’s too early for a confession.” I said, taking him out of his phase. “But one thing is sure, I want to get to know you better. Kai, I want you to be my cap.”

Chapter Text

Minji’s POV:

The door closed behind Kai and the girls and I could finally let all of my excitement out.

“Hyeon, we have the whole day for us !” I said, running to the lead singer before cupping her face with my hands and smacking her passionately.

“I can’t believe Dongie lied like this just for us!” She answered hugging me tight.

It was now 10am and, knowing the girls, especially Siyeon, they wouldn’t be back home before at least 10pm. 12 hours just the two of us, Yoohyeon and I, the member and her leader, or today, the sun and her lucky girlfriend. 12 hours, felt so long, but I knew how fast it would go, and I didn’t want to waste any second of it.

“So what do you want to do Hyeon?” I asked, ready to go. “I didn’t have time to prepare anything but I’ll do my best for you !” I smiled. Yoohyeon was usually Dreamcatcher’s puppy but, right now, I felt like one, almost jumping from excitement.

“You know what makes me the happiest ?” She asked, with the warmest smile I ever saw.

“Tell me!” I answered, ready to accomplish every single one of her wishes.

“I want to finally see you rest, Minji. Don’t think of anything and let me take care of the day.” She said, softly pecking my lips with hers. “Put down your leader card, and watch me handle everything. After all, we are two in this relationship, why should you be the only one working for us?” She winked, before taking my hand and leading me outside the agency.

**********

I had no idea where she was taking me but for once, I accepted to be in the unknown, and even surprised myself liking it. Watching her driving and yapping at the same time made me smile and I couldn’t help but fall in love again and again. And when I thought she couldn’t be more amazing, she took advantage of a red light to take out her phone and start a playlist.

“Minji, do you recognize this song?” She asked.

Of course I recognized it right away. ‘Don’t forget me’ by Suzy from Miss A was playing on her phone and it suddenly brought me so many memories from our past. This song was the one Yoohyeon used for her final evaluation before the choice of Minx’s members and I remembered spending hours and hours training her and breaking my own voice in the process but it was definitely worth it.

But even tho it was supposed to be a beautiful memory, I couldn’t help but feel a wave a guilt flowing over me. She never told it to me, but I knew Yoohyeon chose this song to indirectly tell me her fear and communicate what she was feeling deep down at the thought of losing me.

‘Don’t forget me,

Please remember me,

Farewell only comes once but why does longing come a lot?

I have never forgotten you for a single moment, I love you’

She wasn’t sure to debut with me and wanting to give me a proper and sincere farewell, and I truly realized that only when we confessed to each other.

“Of course I remember.” I smiled, gently putting my hand on her thigh. “Your ability to perfectly sing this song at only 17 was impressive. And I loved how much we could feel this song by just listening to your voice.”

“Because… I was feeling it.” She admitted, as if it was a revelation to me.

“I know, Hyeon.” I chuckled. “You do know I would have never forgotten you, right?” I asked, looking at her suddenly with a serious tone.

“I…”

She didn’t have to answer, I already knew her response. I gently caressed her leg with my thumb to let her know she didn’t have to say anything, to let her know that I could read in her, as always. I knew she wanted to show me how much she trusted me, that she never doubted me, but it would have been a lie. Back then, I wasn’t trustworthy at all, running away at the end of Minx, yelling at her, ghosting her, making her think that I played her. I was the worst and I couldn’t help but understand the way she was feeling about it.

‘Don’t forget me’ finally came to an end as the next song started, almost startling me. ‘Sk8er boi’ by Avril Lavigne. It had been probably more than 7 years since I last heard it, but it felt so good, it felt like going back in time.

“Do you like my playlist?” Yoohyeon asked, finally smiling again.

“We’re only two songs in but I already love it.” I smiled back. “But ‘don’t forget me’ and ‘sk8er boi’ are so different, how did you manage to put them together in one playlist?” I wondered. If the rest of the list was as random as this, I bet that it was as messy as her side of the room.

“Well, if you think about it, those two songs are linked, just like the rest.” She explained. “Take a look at the playlist, and tell me if you get it.” She said, handing me her phone.

I took it right away and tapped in her usual password 190923, the day she adopted Pie, but at my surprise, the phone displayed an ‘incorrect password’.

“Did you change your code?” I asked, confused.

“Oh, yeah I forgot to tell you! Actually, I had an illumination, and thought that putting the creation of the eighth Wonder of the World was better, you see?”

What? I thought she had the best culture among us, how could she say that there were 8 wonders when there were only 7? I froze, confused until… Oh no, Kim Yoohyeon, don’t tell me you just rizz me?

I push the button on/off of her phone again and tapped in 940517, unlocking the phone right away. So, I was the eighth Wonder of the World.

“Ya, Kim Yoohyeon, how you dare rizz me like that?!” I laughed, pinching her waist.

The phone now unlocked, I quickly ran through the playlist and understood right away, she made up a list of all the songs the two of us used to like from our trainee days till now. I smiled and read all the titles, feeling a wave of nostalgy flowing over me.

“I’ve been working on it for years.” She said proudly. “And even when things were… off between us, I always did my best to update the titles.”

“I appreciate everything you did and still do for me, Hyeon. And I swear that I’ll do everything I can to live up to you.” I promised, slightly squeezing her thigh still between my fingers.

“You know Minji, I never asked you to be perfect, and I never will.” She said, parking the car and turning the engine off, now looking at me straight in the eyes. “I love you, Minji. And by that, I mean that I love all of you. I love how strong you want to be for us, for me. But I also love you when you’re weak, scared, lost. I love when you finally let yourself go and ask for help, cause everyone needs help, even you, Kim Minji. As lovers say at the altar, for better or for worse, and I’ll always be here no matter what. No one’s perfect Minji, nor you neither me. So please, stop tiring yourself trying to be someone you’re not.”

Yoohyeon was just next to me during all these years and still, I never noticed how much she grew. The lost 16-year-old kid I first met now became a beautiful and wise woman. I felt almost small next to her words, feeling like I could bury myself in her arms and let her protect me like I always try to do with her. We both changed so much and I knew that this relationship would be so much different from what we used to have. I, who used to shield and carry her, was now driving our love ship equally with her. I knew my way of loving and caring for her wouldn’t change, but feeling like I could let myself go felt so restful. Sua was right after all, I needed someone who could make me forget my leader’s duties and take care of me like I took care of my members, and I now knew that Yoohyeon was the one who could help me take that weight off of my shoulders.

“Every day, I’m sure I can’t love you more and you always manage to prove me wrong.” I said, a tear slowly making its way down my cheek.

“Then… wait for tomorrow, I guess?” She chuckled, leaving a soft kiss on my lips, before unbuckling her seatbelt and stepping out of the engine. “Now let’s go Minji!”

**********

This morning, Yoohyeon chose to take us to Eungbongsan, a mountain in the middle of Seoul. I always liked this place but never really took the time to come here again since I last came 4 years ago with my brother. This park was popular among locals but unknown for tourists, making it invigorating being far from the noise and the crowd.

We walked for a little more than 1 hour, taking ancient paths, passing nice wood bridges, climbing few steps and spending some time around the main pavilion, before finding a nice bench with a beautiful view on the Han river.

“How do you feel, Minji?” Hyeon asked, taking me out of my daydream.

“I feel good.” I answered, squeezing her even tighter.

Who would have thought that, just sitting on a bench while being hold by Yoohyeon would feel this restful, recharging? And if it wasn’t for her question, I definitely would have fallen asleep on her shoulder.

“And what about the comeback? I know how stressed you always are during our preparation.” She added.

“I…” I started, thinking of what I could answer. I was used of always finding a response that could reassure the others, but I had to force myself to open up more, especially to Yoohyeon. “The fact that we had our first prices with ‘Maison’ adds an extra pression and I don’t want to disappoint anyone… Plus, I know that the CEO is raising a lot of money for the filming of the music video and the promotion behind it.” I explained, as a knot was forming gradually in my stomach, as anxiety rose within me.

“Honestly Minji, I think I never saw our CEO disappointed in us. Himself keeps saying that we are his biggest life achievement, after his wife of course.” She chuckled. “I can tell you for sure that if wins was the only thing he wanted, he would have drop Dreamcatcher long ago. I admitted that it’s nice to have prices but honestly, it just feels like a bonus, and I definitely speak for the members too by saying that.”

She was the voice I needed to hear, my lifeline in the midst of a stormy sea. Even if this comeback preparation kept crashing my heart more and more with anxiety, she was the one making it beat strong enough to fight back.

“Actually, I know it’s crazy to say that, but even with this pressure on my shoulders, I’ve never felt more at peace.” I said, after deep thinking.

“What do you mean?” She asked, as she gently caressed the back of my neck with the tip of her freshly made nails, immediately sending shivers down my spine, and making me forgot what I was about to say.

After all, I wasn’t better than a man, becoming so weak between the fingers of a beautiful woman. Damn Kim Minji, get your act together!

“Minji?” Yoohyeon suddenly took me out of my thoughts.

“Y-Yeah? Ah yeah, I was saying…” I answered, clearing my throat before continuing. “I mean, having you by my side gives me so much confidence to do things I had doubts on before. And when I feel down, I know your arms are waiting for me. Being a leader is definitely not an easy task but I signed for it, and it’s a real honor to see you girls trusting me for that. So with such great members and this amazing girlfriend, I can tell you I really feel fulfilled, and I swear I mean it.” I smiled at Yoohyeon, now looking at her straight in the eyes to show her how sincere I was.

“If that’s how you’re feeling, then I’m as fulfilled as you are, Minji.” She answered, before cupping my cheek and leaning in for a kiss.

But without even thinking about it, I impulsively backed away, leaving Yoohyeon speechless, her hands still hanging in the air. Why did I do that? Suddenly, a wave of memory flashed over my eyes, bringing me back 9 years ago when I chose my career over her. Back then, I was ready to do anything to not let the world know who I really was, and even decided to loose my girlfriend for that. But today, how was I really feeling about it? Was my fear still the same? Would our fans still support us? And our CEO? Our sponsors?

Too many questions were flowing in my head and I didn’t know what to do, but what I definitely knew was that I didn’t want to disappoint Yoohyeon again, especially seeing her puppy eyes, looking at me with uncertainty. After all, she did her best to fully trust me but I knew it was still hard for her.

Those eyes were enough to make up my mind. Fuck it, I thought before gently grabbing her face and leaning it, ready to risk anything to show her how much she meant to me.

**********

We had lunch in a nice sushi shop and ran late to an activity Yoohyeon booked in the morning, pottery! We arrived out of breath and immediately put on our aprons before getting to work, guided by the instructor’s advice. Preparing the clay and keeping it steady on the spinning pottery wheel turned out to be harder than I thought but, after laughing at my struggles, Yoohyeon came to my rescue and helped me to get it right.

I chose to go for a simple cup, not having enough skills to try anything else. On the other side, my talented girlfriend chose to go for an elegant and high vase, and she definitely seemed to have the skills for such ambition.

“Look Minji.” She said, motioning her head toward her art. “This vase is like our relationship. We have to constantly work for it, and we sometimes face struggles but, in the end, the more we try, and the prettiest it gets. The struggle is worth it to finally have the best result.” She smiled, before suddenly feeling the clay yield under the pressure of her fingers, making me burst out laughing instantly. “I-I mean… no, it wasn’t meant to happen, I wanted it to be romantic.” She pouted, trying to fix her mistake.

“Then let’s say that our love is like my cup. It’s not the most perfect one, but at least it’s simple and I love it.” I added. “And it’s definitely not straight!”

“Minji!” Yoohyeon laughed, pinching my waist with her hand full of clay, starting a war between us.

The end of the session came to an end and we could say that the aprons weren’t so useful since our little fight splashed clay all over our clothes and faces. But at least we had a lot of fun even if our works of art looked like that they came out of an apocalypse. But at least, they represented what we were, damaged but perfect to our eyes. We clumsily wrote our initials on both potteries and called them our trophies, proud to bring them back home.

It was a bit more than 6:30pm when we came out of the activity and our stomachs started to growl. Seeing how dirty we were, we chose to pick random food from street food stale like tteokbokki, bimbap and corn dogs, before buying beers to nearby convenient stores and quickly heading back home to shower.

**********

Tonight was a chill night for us. We chose to hide our trophies in Sua and Yoohyeon’s room and played some team video games on the TV while eating what we bought earlier. And honestly, I probably never laughed that much in a long time. Every failed jumps, stupid deaths and Yoohyeon’s frustration was the funniest and I felt like I could finally be free from my daily responsibilities and be Minji for once, and not Jiu. I was finally at peace and felt more alive than ever.

“Thank you for making me feel normal again, Hyeon.” I smiled gratefully at my girlfriend, my eyes leaving the screen for a moment.

“Thank you for making everything feel right again.” She smiled back, making me see how sincere she was.