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Chapter Text

Helping Hand – Chapter 1 (Crashing Walls)

Everything felt like it was crashing down around him as Simon Spier kept looking at his computer screen. As if begging for his glasses to be blurry and the words being a part of his sick imagination. But they never changed, no matter how much he wanted them to.

He had emailed Blue in desperation, begging and pleading for him not to leave him alone. And that is exactly what he did.

The words, I’m sorry, Simon, they echoed through his mind as if on constant repeat. Followed by his final words, I can’t do this anymore…

Blue knew who he was and yet he didn’t know them. And he could still remember the pleading email that he had sent back. He couldn’t help but feel how true that statement was. It had felt like everything was falling apart around him and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. But all he could see was the failed email because he knew that Blue had deleted his email account. Cutting off contact from him forever. Disabled permanently only meant a couple of things.

It had hurt worse than losing his best friends. That had been a gut punch since he had been best friends with Nick and Leah since he could remember. Though Abby had been more recent but her absence had hurt just as much. So, much for being the first person besides Blue, that he told about being gay. He had thought that maybe she might understand some and be there for him. Even his hope that maybe his two best friends may understand that he didn’t have a choice. He had been wracked with fear for months just for his worst nightmare to come to life.

Being all alone at school with nobody. He no longer had that safe haven of being able to email Blue about what happened at school. To have someone that understood on how he felt. He didn’t have someone who knew what it was like having a secret this big. And now his was out in the open. Even though he knew that Blue had never experienced being outed like he had. He couldn’t help the slight anger for Blue disappearing on him like that. To take the cowards way out and slink back into the shadows. The way he wanted to.

It wasn’t like he could talk to his parents about it either. Or his little sister, Nora.

He still regretted on how he had blown up on her because he had been emotional when he had been outed. He needed to remember to tell her thanks for reporting the post so it could be taken down even though he knew it didn’t change anything. Everyone at the school knew. It was officially the worst Christmas ever.

The disconnection from Blue felt like his heart had broken into two pieces. He knew it probably wasn’t the wisest thing to fall for the boy behind the emails. They felt so real to him. He didn’t even know who he was or what he looked like. Blue had never told him, and he had tried to think of so many people it could have been. But he had been wrong each and every time.

Now that hope was gone forever. And he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know now.

And yesterday had been the worst day of his life. It had been the first day back to Creekwood High School, after everyone knew. There had been eyes on him the entire day and he just wanted to run. He knew his eyes were probably still red from crying the night before. He hadn’t wanted anything to change and now everything was different. His parents knew and he knew that the reaction from his dad hadn’t been the best. But there had been a background fear that he could have been kicked out. It hadn’t happened and so that had helped calm some of his fears. And maybe… he wasn’t completely alone.

But he couldn’t even count where he had been shoved against the wall and he had been spoken to the same way that Ethan was. In those moments he couldn’t see why Blue thought he was brave. He retorts weren’t as good as Ethan’s, who gave their comments right back. Enough that it would offend them. He could remember when he commented that he wished Ethan wouldn’t make it so easy for them. Now, he was regretting that comment.

He felt his ears burn with shame every time he was named a fag in the hallways. And then there was lunch…

He knew of Aaron and Spencer, the same two bullies that would verbally attack Ethan any chance they could about his sexuality. The pair of them decided to get on one of the tables in the cafeteria and act like they were him and Ethan. Acting out a sex scene in front of the entire school.

Simon never felt more embarrassed and ashamed. Though he refused to let the tears fall but he could feel them at the corner of his eyes. He didn’t remember getting up, feeling rage fill him up. He hadn’t even made it a few steps before he felt a hand on his shoulder.

He had a snarl at the edge of his lips when he realized it was Garrett Laughlin, best friends to Nick and Bram Greenfeld. The three of them were on the same soccer team. Nick… who he was no longer best friends with. There was a look of concern in his electric blue eyes. He hadn’t realized how blue they were until he was more up close. He could feel a blush rising to his cheeks. The close proximity was starting to get to him, he felt.

“You think this is funny!?” Garrett’s voice wasn’t the gentle and filled with amusement that Simon was used to. It was harsh and cold.

“Because I don’t see a single one laughing right now! Everyone knows that you both are just a bunch of dicks and that we are sick and tired of it!” Garrett continued.

“What would you care, Laughlin,” Spencer had the nerve to laugh.

“Care!? Maybe because he is one of my friends and someone needs to point out what a douchebag you are being!” If it was possible, Garrett’s tone got sharper.

“That is enough, Mr. Laughlin! I think I can take care of it from here,” a voice spoke from behind them.

Simon looked around to see who it was, not that he needed to. He could recognize Ms. Albright’s voice from anywhere. And she wasn’t happy but she also hadn’t sent Garrett to the office for his language either. So, he considered that a bit of a win there.

But he couldn’t help but cast a side glance at his former friends, they weren’t even looking at him. He’s wasn’t sure what hurt worse at that moment. It was painful to know that after all those years of friendship, it never mattered. Would they do the same if they knew one of the students was kicking him? Doubt it…

His internal thoughts took over as Ms. Albright chewed out both Spencer and Aaron before walking the pair of them to the Vice Principal’s office. It would be only a matter of time before he and Ethan would have to go there as well. Since they were a victim of this. It wasn’t the most pleasing thing to know. But Ms. Albright had at least been true to her words, the pair of them had been suspended for the remainder of the year. It was at least good to know that they did uphold their bullying policy. It wasn’t like they could be charged for a hate crime; they hadn’t done anything to them even as crude as it was. Even when Ethan came out, it was only words. But he knew how much words could do damage.

He could at least finish his lunch, even though he felt he couldn’t eat much of it. But Garrett didn’t go back to the table with Nick and them. He had left his tray at that table and sat across from him.

The silence was… awkward.

Simon couldn’t understand why Garrett had done it. He had hung out with him a few times, but that was when Nick would invite him and Bram over. And he would come to the soccer games, but Nick was also on the team. Garrett and Bram just happened to be there too. And they did wind up talking every day at lunch. And he had been there when Garrett and Bram had invited them to the Halloween party. But now… he didn’t know what to say. He felt speechless.

So, he picked out a little of his food and only ate a portion of it. His stomach felt in knots, he didn’t know what to expect now. And he hadn’t known a day without hanging with Nick, Leah, or Abby. He could feel their absence and he missed them.

It was Garrett who spoke first, “You alright, Simon?”

Simon couldn’t help the snort that slipped through his lips, did it look like he was alright?

A low sigh could be heard, “that wasn’t the best question, I know. But I know that today has got to be rough. Given… that…”

“Okay… I—” Simon looked down at his tray.

A warm hand touched his, making him look up.

“Nobody says that you have to be okay with this… I may not know what happened and why Nick and them didn’t say a damn thing. Which I will definitely be kicking his ass for that later. But you didn’t deserve that, any of it,” Garrett’s voice was firm.

“Why did you jump in?” Simon’s voice was soft.

“I am still your friend, Simon. Just like I am Nick’s and Bram’s friend. And I for sure won’t let you go through this alone!”

The remark from Garrett made Simon give a small smile. The most real one he gave since he was forced out. He knew he probably shouldn’t have doubted Garrett’s words since he was still here. But after losing his closest friends, he wasn’t sure what to think anymore. And he had been in their close knit of friends even before all this happened.

He almost wished he had never met Martin Addison and maybe he would still have been eating lunch with his friends. He peeked his eyes up at them and saw they still weren’t looking his way. Despite that Garrett was there, it was like it didn’t affect them. He felt his posture slump in the seat, he should have expected that really. Though he was surprised that Bram still seating with them. Did he believe them? He knew that Bram was as much as Garrett’s friend as he was Nick’s.

But it wasn’t like he knew Bram any better than Garrett. They shared a few classes and played soccer. He knew he could be a bit shy and would let Garrett do most of the talking. Besides the time when he told them about his aunt and they had that party at his house.

Which reminded Simon of something, “you didn’t really shave your legs, did you?”

Garrett snickered, “No, but Nick almost did.”

Simon’s lips twitched at that; the sight would have been an amusing one. Especially when he could recall how much Nick had protested that he would never shave his legs. That would have been an interesting conversation with his mom. Especially if he had swiped her razor to do it.

That was when the bell rang for the next class.

“I got to go,” Simon muttered.

“You’re not going to eat more of your lunch?” Garrett questioned him. It was clear that Simon had barely touched his food.

Simon shrugged, not really giving him an answer and leaving Garrett in the cafeteria.

Simon hadn’t really seen the purpose on why he had been called into Mr. Worth’s office until he had seen Ethan. The door was shut, and he could see Spencer and Aaron still in there. No doubt Mr. Worth was still giving them a lecture when Ms. Albright had sent the pair of them to his office.

He knew why he had been summoned to the office.

It had been one thing when insults have been said to Ethan.

Simon could help the wave of jealousy that ran over him. Ethan had made it seem so easy when Spencer and Aaron would make slur comments at him. It had never seemed to faze him no matter what was said. He always gave them as good as they got. He wasn’t as strong willed as Ethan.

He couldn’t even say a word to Spencer or Aaron in the Cafeteria. Garrett hadn’t hesitated in jumping in to defend Simon. He had never been that type of person that was outspoken. Maybe more around his friends and family.

Some of his feelings leaked out in a small rant as Ethan sat in the chair beside him. It was probably the first time he had even spoken to him. He even admitted that he was sometimes jealous. Everyone in the school knew he was gay since he was sixteen.

But that was how he learned that even for him, not everything was prefect. His mother would still act like her son was straight. But he could hear the strain of hurt and that fact his grandparents would never know the truth about him. Though he didn’t know why he had never told Ethan. Being gay himself, he probably would have understood what it was like. But like everyone else, he had been just a bystander and observed.

“I never meant for this to happen…” Simon whispered. “Why now would they decide to get involved?” Since none of the teachers had before but again, those had only been comments. Not many people but students had been privy to that. It wasn’t like there was a teacher to catch them at it.

That didn’t mean Simon was surprised by Ethan’s reply to him. If he actually thought about it, it did make some sense. He figured that some person out there would probably say that this was too close to a hate crime. But it wasn’t like they had cornered him and hit him. And he doubted this would help, it would probably only make things worse.

Which is exactly what Mr. Worth did. He wasn’t his favorite person in the world but it seemed like he sort of cared for his students. He hadn’t expected to ask if he was okay. It hadn’t seemed as sincere as when Garrett asked him. But he at least knew Garrett more than he did his own Vice Principal.

Simon felt annoyed that Mr. Worth just didn’t get what him and Ethan were trying to tell him. Just because you happened to be gay, didn’t mean you wanted to be with every guy that you saw. He still had standards and what appealed to him in other guys.

He still wasn’t sure on what that meant for him since both Aaron and Spencer found it more amusing. They seemed more edgy when they got in trouble with Ms. Albright opposed to Mr. Worth. But they were still suspended for half the year. He could only imagine what their parents must think of that. He didn’t want to imagine if he got in trouble in school and they had to call his parents.

That didn’t mean the school wouldn’t, since he had been one of the targets. But he just wanted the conversation to be over and pretend it never happened. Even though he knew that wouldn’t ever happen. But it did make him appreciate that no matter how easy he had thought Ethan had it. He couldn’t be more wrong. At least his parents had been more understanding. He couldn’t imagine his own mom and dad pretending that he still liked girls. No matter how awkward it was around his own dad.

But he felt he had made a bit of a friend in Ethan. They didn’t really share much in common. But they did share those similar feelings of fear before everyone knew. Even though it was more forced on Simon’s end. They still had fears of people judging them and not just because of the interests they held. But it had been a secret that they shared and admitting things weren’t as bad as they were before.

It was something that Simon kept in mind when he left the office. Well… left wasn’t exactly the correct word. More like a fast walk to a run.

Typically, he would go to the soccer field and watch Nick practice. But he never turned in that direction. It felt weird to do, like his body knew that is where he went on most afternoons when there wasn’t play practice.

Which was another thing different. He did enjoy doing the acting in Ms. Albright’s rehearsals. He never wanted any major role in a play like Taylor or Abby did. He liked being in the background. So, when he was thrust more in the limelight, he felt terrified and scared. It wasn’t something he was used to.

He headed for his car, which had been a gift to him once he got his license. It probably wasn’t the prettiest car in the world. But that meant he didn’t have to ride on the bus anymore. And given today… he wasn’t sure he would be able to stand that. His car felt more of a safe haven at the moment than school or even his own home did.

That was when he wished he had just gone to the soccer field because he didn’t think Martin Addison standing in the parking lot was a good thing. He was waiting on someone, and he knew who that someone was. And he didn’t want to say a damn word to him. He was the reason his life had literally turned upside down. He was the reason he had no friends and had to lie to protect himself. Something that his friends never understood, and that thought was a bitter taste. It made him wonder if they had been his friends to begin with.

At least, if he was at the soccer field, maybe he could have avoided this. Maybe not see Martin ever again. And maybe Garrett may have intervened again.

He felt his face turn slightly pink, which he assumed to be embarrassment. All because he couldn’t stand up for himself. So, he tried to avoid him and act like he didn’t see him.

“Simon!” Martin called after him.

Simon kept walking, pretending that he didn’t even hear him. It might have worked if he didn’t follow him to his damn car, almost blocking his way.

“Move,” Simon hissed, he could feel his anger start to rise. He didn’t want a confrontation, but he would make it one.

“I just want to say—”

“Say what!? Haven’t you already made my life enough of a hell already?! You seem to have got your damn wish because now I have nobody! Its your fault that I no longer have any friends and its your fault that the school now hates me because of what I am! So, really… What else would you like to fucking say to me!?” Simon cursed, his voice getting louder with every word.

“I didn’t mean it to happen!”

“Really!? Because you had no trouble in posting it to CreekSecrets to make my life a living hell!” Simon snapped.

“I just wanted to give them a distraction…”

“A distraction?!” Simon gave a bitter laugh at that. What a fucking joke.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” Martin tried to apologize.

“What other way could you have meant it! I’m sorry I got rejected so I will make someone else’s life hell!” Simon demanded.

A wave of guilt seemed to run over Martin, it was obvious that he didn’t think of that.

“You don’t have to deal with that rejection every damn day of your life. I do! And what you did was unforgivable! It is supposed to be my right to tell people and who I want to know! Or do you think I want to be shoved against lockers because they think I’m disgusting! I could be living on the streets because you decided that you wanted for people to focus on something else! You better never talk to me again or I may do something I regret!” Simon snarled.

He knew he wasn’t a violent person but he wanted nothing better than to hit Martin in the jaw for what he did.

“Simon please—” Martin tried to say. He didn’t get any further because he was on the ground. Martin then held a hand to his nose and mouth, which looked to be bleeding before he ran further down the parking lot.

Simon stepped back in surprise as he watched Garrett slightly shake his hand.

“Garrett?!”

“That felt better.”

Simon blinked at him, “why did you do that?”

“Are you saying you didn’t want to do that yourself?” Garrett raised an eyebrow at him.

Simon stayed silent as he felt himself going a bit redder and he wasn’t sure why. Maybe because he knew that Garrett was right. He did want to, still did. He didn’t know if it would make him feel better about the situation.

“See, I proved my point. And he deserved it,” Garrett pointed out.

That made Simon crack a small grin, feeling the rage starting to fade.

“Don’t you have soccer practice?” Simon questioned him.

“I forgot my uniform in my car,” Garrett gave a shrug of the shoulders.

That was when Simon realized that Garrett wasn’t in his soccer shorts, which made him a bit disappointed. He was still wearing his green jacket and a pair of faded jeans.

“Ohh…”

“Don’t change the subject, Simon. So, all of that was true? He outed you on CreekSecrets?”

Simon felt himself shuffling his feet, “it’s not like I can deny it, now, can I? You practically heard every word since it wasn’t like I was quiet while yelling.”

Garrett looked furious at that confirmation, “he’s lucky that a bloody nose is all that he got.”

Simon shrugged, “it’s whatever…”

“Simon, this isn’t just whatever. He still had no right to do that to you, no matter what selfish reason he had. But I am guessing that this have something to do why Nick, Leah, and Abby are refusing to look at you?” Garrett asked.

Simon bit his lip; he could feel his eyes welling up. It had been easy not to think about them when he was yelling at Martin. He had been holding it in all day since that morning. He didn’t want Garrett to know why but it was clear that he knew something was up. But he couldn’t tell if he had actually questioned Nick or not. It was possible that Nick may have admitted it and Garrett wanted to hear it for himself.

But he wouldn’t know which one it was unless Garrett told him.

Though, it was probably a good thing that Garrett was so close to him. For in any other situation, Simon may have felt ashamed for this to happen. But it was like his feet had failed on him and would have collapsed if not for Garrett.

He caught him in his arms as he supported his weight against him. It was probably that action that broke the dam of tears. He literally cried into Garrett’s arms as everything finally caught up with him.

Like it finally sunk in on what had happened to him that day. And how much the school must have hated him. The fact that his friends hated him because he had tried to do what Martin had been blackmailing him to do for months. No matter how much he hated it and didn’t want to. Maybe that had been his mistake, he shouldn’t have thought of himself, he should have thought of his friends first.

The bullying and teasing that he had been facing all day. He knew if he probably took off his denim jacket and hoodie, he probably would find more than one bruise. The shoves as he walked down the hallways hadn’t been gentle as the laughter echoed in his ears. Nobody would stop and try to help him off of the floor. He had learned to keep his books in his bookbag the first time it had happened.

Everything had changed so fast and he didn’t think he would be able to catch up with it. It was a miracle that he didn’t start crying while yelling at Martin, even if they would have been anger tears. He still had refused to let them fall. Wanting to save those tears until he got in the safety of his car or maybe his bedroom. Where he knew that he would probably cry himself to sleep, hoping that everything was a dream.

That was when he still thought he still had Blue. He was craving the safe net of sending him an email to vent his frustrations and troubles of the day.

But he could feel the warmth that Garrett was giving him. Arms were curled up, still holding him up. He knew that his tears were probably staining the jacket he was wearing. But he still didn’t move.

It was practically a hug, and it was meaning everything to him at that moment. There was a desperate wish within that wanted someone to say that it would be okay. He felt that this was the closest thing that he could get with that.

Nora probably still wouldn’t talk to him after he lashed out at her. His mom would probably give him concerned looks but wouldn’t press him to talk. And his dad… he barely even looked at him anymore. He knew that his dad didn’t hate him, he wouldn’t be living at his home anymore if that were the case. But he knew it made him uncomfortable and he didn’t know how to talk to him anymore.

Simon didn’t even know what he could say to his dad. He hoped that his dad wouldn’t be like Ethan’s mom and pretend that he still dated girls. Though the jokes still had hurt. He knew he needed to apologize to his little sister. He didn’t want her to think that he hated her.

He imagined this is what it might be like to receive comfort from a guy he was dating. But he wasn’t dating Garrett. He was a friend.

Apparently, the only friend he had right now. And it was a friend that he needed right now. Yet there was a deep yearning that he still wanted someone to love him. Though it would be after he would get home to know how much the dream of it being Blue was crushed.

Simon knew he probably made Garrett miss the entire practice by the time that his tears had turned to sniffles. He felt embarrassed that Garrett had witnessed all of that and still held him. He still felt confusion on why. But he couldn’t help be a little grateful that it had been Garrett and not someone else.

Chapter Text

Helping Hand – Chapter 2 (The Worst does get Better)

There was a heavy weight on Simon’s mind and heart since that first day back. He wondered if it would have been better if he just skipped that first day but then he would be right back where he was. It wouldn’t have changed a damn thing. The day had been beyond horrible and it had gotten worse since that final email.

He tried not to think about it much because it would only make him start sobbing again. He probably had been sitting at his desk for hours as he cried into his arms. The wood probably still had evidence of his trail of tears. He had cried himself to sleep that night.

If Nora had tried to check on him, he didn’t know it. It wasn’t like their rooms were that far apart. And he had other things on his mind and forgot that he was supposed to apologize to her. He hadn’t remembered until the morning of. By then, he knew that she would already be downstairs making breakfast of some creation she made.

Then there was going back to school.

Simon wanted to say that he was surprised that Garrett would sit with him when it was time for lunch in the cafeteria. He no longer would even glance towards Nick and his former friends. But Simon noticed that any classes that he had with him, he would also choose a closer seat as well.

And he must have told Bram something because he was doing the same thing in classes that he didn’t share with Garrett. There wasn’t many of those, like maybe one or two.

Simon hoped that Garrett didn’t tell Bram about his little breakdown incident in the parking lot that day. He could feel the flush of embarrassment every time that he thought about it. It wasn’t like he didn’t know that Bram was shy. So, it could be possible that Bram knew but he wasn’t the type of person that would bring that up. He still liked to think that Garrett wouldn’t do that to him. Even if that person happened to be their best friend. Perhaps it was something he could ask Garrett when Bram wasn’t around. Like after class or something.

That was to say if Garrett would actually admit to doing such a thing. He could always lie to him but he didn’t think that was something he would do. Which was crazy to think since he didn’t know if Garrett was the type of person to lie to someone’s face or not.

Maybe there was a reason why Blue deleted his account. That maybe he had been too pushy on wanting to know who he was. He was already a terrible friend even if he just wanted someone that he could talk to about things and not get judgement. Like he had been able to do behind a computer screen and it certainly was very anonymous. It was different. He wanted to be able to admit these things while standing face to face with someone. To see their looks of concern or even touch. To know that he wasn’t completely alone with what he was feeling.

To be able to tell people how scared and terrified he was. Every moment he hated himself for what he was doing to his friends. But they couldn’t see that. There was a deep loathing inside himself that he did deserve this. Everything that was happening because of what he did to his friends. He couldn’t even admit to Garrett on what he did to his friends, and he had just cried like a baby in his arms. He was pathetic.

He had wanted for Nick to be able to tell Abby his feelings for her. But that would put him at risk with Martin who had already gotten mad at him because Nick had been flirting with her. He could still remember the spike of fear that ran through his body.

High school wasn’t the place that he wanted to be out and bullied at every corner. To hear words hissed in his ear that he was disgusting and needed to see a doctor. That he needed to be fixed… He had never felt ashamed for what he felt for another guy. But he could feel it starting to get to him. He heard the word, fag the most.

He just wanted to curl into a ball and pretend this wasn’t happening. He didn’t know how Ethan managed to deal with this on a daily basis.

Simon didn’t know what to think about Leah. She had been his best friend as long as Nick. Years and years of friendship that was just thrown away like yesterday’s trash. She had called him cruel because he had led her to get her heart broken. How was he supposed to know that she liked him?! He couldn’t help if he saw things a certain way and yet he misinterpreted it so badly. He would never do that to her if he had known. Even at the cost of himself, he had prided in their friendship too much.

Not enough…

Simon felt his arms tighten around himself, slightly shivering despite the hoodie and jacket he was wearing. He had thought maybe she would be happy… that all those side looks, and blushes had been for Nick. How could he be so wrong? And the idea of kissing a girl… he couldn’t… He could never be what Leah would want.

He had wished they had given him more of a chance to explain before they stormed away from him. He had told them that he had been blackmailed for months and it didn’t seem to bother them. He had admitted to him on who was doing the blackmail and they still didn’t get it.

Simon took in a shaky breath.

They had walked away right before his life started to crumble before his eyes.

Before… they would have stood up and gave Spencer and Aaron a piece of their mind… But they just turned their heads. It was like he didn’t exist to them anymore.

A tear fell down his face as he hung his head low.

He had been shoved against a locker and they just walked past as he dragged himself off the floor. He had never felt more alone in his life. He could feel the sob that wanted to come out. His glasses were starting to fog up on him. He was surprised they weren’t broken yet.

Then it started to rain but he didn’t move. He was currently sitting on the grass close to the soccer field. He knew that he probably could get sick from just sitting there but he didn’t care. At least the rain did a better job of hiding his tears.

His hoodie and jacket were supposed to protect him and keep him warm, but he only felt cold to the bone. His blonde hair was plastered to his forehead, and he kept his arms tight around him.

Whatever practice they had would probably be cancelled. But he stayed lost in his thoughts. There was a mass of confusion that fell over him. He couldn’t understand why so many people hated him.

It was like whatever they knew about Simon Spier had just vanished. He would sometimes get a nod or small wave as he walked through the hallways. He only met glares and like he belonged under their boot.

It was in this moment that he could almost understand what Leah had meant by feeling apart from the crowd. Like he was standing on the outside, just watching and observing. Not really a part of anything. He couldn’t imagine another two years of this, and it had only been a few days.

He was only seventeen and he still had to get through this year. Whoever said that high school was supposed to be the best days of their life were lying. It was a living nightmare. The only living peace he got was back home. He had skipped his last class and he didn’t even care if they called his mom or dad.

Simon knew that they would understand. Approving, probably not as much. His mom had always been the top of her class and he never could seem to match that. He wasn’t a sports type of guy like his dad. But his grades were about the same. He would graduate and his grades were well enough to get into college. Now… he wasn’t so sure about. That was the last thing on his mind.

His clothes were beyond soaked by the time someone came across him. They would probably try to cling to his skin whenever he would get dressed. Which he knew that he shouldn’t have been surprised that someone did find him. He just didn’t think they would care.

But he also thought Garrett would have already left school since practice would have been cancelled. He doubted that he actually went looking for him.

“My god, Simon! You must be freezing!”

Simon gave a shrug, he did feel a bit cold, but he had been ignoring it. At least out here, nobody would bother him. The rain had helped keep people away from him. They didn’t want to get wet just so they could give him a hard time.

A warm hand curled around his arm, making him stand. His legs felt slightly unsteady, but he didn’t fall back down. His legs must have fallen asleep on him.

“You’re soaked!”

Garrett kept his arm around him while walking towards the parking lot for students. His eyes kept flickering towards their destination and Simon. It was like he was afraid that he was going to fall or something on him.

That was when Simon realized something, they weren’t at his car. They had past that by several feet. They were standing in front of a dark red Jeep Wrangler. It must have belonged to Garrett because he tossed his bag in the back seat before rummaging for something.

“Hand me your hoodie and jacket.”

Simon’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, not quite understanding. Why would Garrett want to have them?

“You’re going to catch a cold if you keep them on,” he said as he stretched his hand out.

“Oh…”

If Simon looked back, he probably would have wondered why he didn’t pitch much of a fight or argument. Even though he knew that Garrett was just doing this in his best interests. He never went anywhere without his hoodie or jacket. Though it was a struggle to get them off since they wanted to stick to his skin.

That didn’t stop the feeling that he felt very exposed in just a regular shirt as rain continued to fall on his head. Then a towel was placed on his shoulders.

His hoodie and jacket were placed in the backseat of the jeep as well as his bag. He had forgotten that he had it with him.

“Let’s go.”

“Go?” Simon asked.

“I’m not letting you drive in this state, Simon. I can have my mom get your car in a short bit. And you can warm up on the way.”

“Won’t I get your seats wet?” Simon protested.

“Nothing that won’t hurt them, and I already got your bag,” Garrett waved off.

Simon still felt apprehensive about it but climbed into the passenger seat. It was an odd feeling since the only vehicles he had been in was his car, his parents, and when they would ride with Nick. Though the last one wasn’t that often since they usually took his. And the only time he had been up front was when he was driving. He usually rode in the backseat since Leah would always ride up front.

He started to hate having to drive and get his own coffee alone. He had been so used to there being three other people in the car every morning as they went to school. Music was a good distraction, but he eventually had to turn the car off. But it had been a bit weird to sit in Garrett’s Jeep in the passenger seat while half listening to the music from the radio. And the music was vastly different to what he listened to.

He eventually had to ask who the singer was.

“You never heard of Jason Aldean?”

Simon could feel a slight blush on his cheeks, country wasn’t a genre he listened to very much.

“I know the name…”

“Oh, we need to change that!”

That made Simon give a slight laugh, he never knew anyone that was that passionate because you never listened to country music. But he supposed he could be the same way on some of the songs he liked. Country just wasn’t one of the genres of music that he listened to, and it definitely wasn’t on his phone playlist or CDs.

He knew he listened to a lot of different music, so he never really focused on one music genre. But he could remember that one debate in the lunchroom because Leah never even heard of Jason Aldean. Garrett had been just as passionate then as he was now.

Then, he hadn’t really paid much attention to it and now it was refreshening. That wasn’t to say that whatever song he had playing would be his favorite song. The guy singing tended to sing, ‘She’s Country’, over and over again. It was a bit catchy on certain parts of the song and he could get on how some people would get lost in the song. He just didn’t see it for himself when he could be playing Bleachers and listening to Rollercoaster.

It carried on that way until they got to Garrett’s house, somewhere Simon had never been before. All he knew was that he lived in a house on Roswell Road, which wasn’t too far from Nick’s house. He probably could walk all the way here if he wanted to, it wasn’t all that far from his house.

He hadn’t even known where Bram’s house was for the Halloween party, but Nick had drove all of them there. His house was a bit further away and he probably wouldn’t walk there.

It still surprised him; he had expected Garrett to drop him off at his house. Unless Garrett didn’t know where it was. It was very possible since it was always Leah, Abby, and Nick that came by his house. Garrett and Bram were the only ones of their friends that never been there.

The house was two-stories tall like his, though without the short balcony on the second floor. He sometimes used that at his own home since it was connected to his room. He wasn’t old enough to remember if the house had come like that or it had been built for that look.

That wasn’t to say he thought the house was terrible, Garrett’s mom probably made sure it stayed clean. But it was still unclear on why he was here to begin with. He could have just left him at his house. But when he huddled the towel around him more, he understood why. He probably looked like a drenched rat.

“Are you sure? You can just take me to my house?” Simon suddenly felt nervous.

“Didn’t think you would want your parents to worry more than they did, and I was going to throw your hoodie and jacket in the dryer. You were practically dripping in the rain,” Garrett noted.

“Thanks,” Simon mumbled.

“Why were you just sitting in the rain?” Garrett asked.

Simon shrugged, not really giving him an answer.

Garrett frowned but didn’t press him. He already had a good idea on the reason why but that didn’t mean that he agreed with it. He grabbed his stuff from the back seat and kept an eye on Simon as he followed after him.

Once past the door, Garrett took the flight of stairs up. He knew his mom and dad would hear the door and if they needed him, they could find him later.

Simon followed; the towel was still draped over his shoulders. His hair was still probably wet, he hadn’t tried to dry it. Mostly he had been sucking up the warmth, not realizing on how cold he was.

“This is my room,” Garrett said, opening the door to the first room on the right. He went straight to the dresser to go through some of his clothes.

Simon peeked inside; he was curious on what it looked like. His bed was to the far side of the room as the dresser was closest to the door and he could see a closet on the other side. There were soccer uniforms scattered on the floor and a few pairs of jeans. It reminded him a bit of his own room except it was a bit messier. He had a desk on the other side of the room where his laptop was sitting. At the foot of his bed there was a television stand along with his game systems. He could even spot a guitar in the far corner, and he remembered when Nick said he sometimes would borrow Garrett’s dad guitar, but he didn’t know that Garrett had one as well.

And unlike Simon’s room, Garrett didn’t have posts of Elliott Smith or different bands he listened to. He had a few posters along his wall, reading their names. Luke Bryan, Alan Jackson, Thomas Rhett, Jason Aldean, and Brad Paisley. They weren’t the full-sized posters, though he didn’t recognize all of their names. Garrett also had photographs as well. A few were of him with Bram and Nick. He even had one with all six of them together. You could even see one with the entire soccer team.

It was interesting what you got to know of someone by just looking at their room. Which only proceeded to make him slightly blush. He was in another guy’s room, and it was really hard not to think of that thought. But Garrett had never seemed uncomfortable even though he knew that he was gay. It never bothered him.

It was at that moment that Garrett had found what he was looking for as he handed Simon a shirt, jeans, and sweats.

“What is this?” Simon asked.

“Clothes that you need to change into.”

“I don’t need any clothes,” Simon said, confused.

“Simon, you are still wearing a wet shirt and jeans. You need something until I can get your clothes dry. The fact that you were in wet clothes for who knows on how long,” Garrett brought up.

“Oh… right. Do you have an umm—”

Garrett snickered, “there’s a guest bedroom right after mine. You don’t want to go in the last bedroom.”

Simon scrunched his eyebrows but took the answer. “So, is there a reason why you have me two pairs of pants?”

“I gave you jeans or sweats since I wasn’t sure which one you preferred more.”

Simon nodded before quickly darting out of the room, to the find the guest bedroom that Garrett mentioned. He immediately noticed the next bedroom, which was bare compared to Garrett’s room. There was a bed in the room, already made for whoever decided to stay in that room. Two dressers were pressed against the wall and a desk in the corner. Besides that, the bedroom was empty.

He wouldn’t admit it to Garrett, but he had a point when he literally had to peel the shirt off his body. His skin felt clammy and cold as he ran the towel to dry as much as he could. He did the same with his pants and boxers. He was almost tempted to keep his boxers on but they were also soaking wet. If it wasn’t the fact that Garrett had given him boxers as well. He could feel his face go red and if he looked in a mirror, it would probably resemble a tomato. He was literally wearing Garrett’s clothes until his were dry again.

Simon could only blame himself for that. There was one thing true, he didn’t want to go into his house while wearing soaking wet clothes. There would be questions that he didn’t want to answer and one of them would be why. So, as embarrassing as it was, this was the preferred alternative.

Though he picked the jeans over the sweats that he was given. They weren’t the tight jeans that he liked but it wasn’t like it was obvious that he was wearing someone else’s clothes. They fit if not a bit baggy on him. Which he already preferred baggy shirts, but he wanted his hoodie. It made him wonder if Garrett had already thrown it into the dryer while he was getting dressed. He ran a hair through his blonde hair, probably making it even more messed up while he was at it.

All of this was a complete mess, and he still didn’t know why Garrett was doing it. If things had been switched around, he knew that Nick would have loaned him his clothes. But that was the difference, he no longer had Nick as a friend. But he had Garrett and Bram.

With the wet clothes in hand, he headed back to Garrett’s room and noticed he wasn’t there. Simon bit his lip softly; he wasn’t sure where Garrett must have gone to. He couldn’t be far; this was his house. But he didn’t want to just wander his house and find where he went to. But as he walked out of his room, he saw Garrett heading up the stairs.

“Uhh… you said something about drying my clothes…”

Garrett grinned at him, “yeah, sorry. Mom had to ask me something while I put your hoodie and jacket into the dryer.”

“About what?”

“She didn’t know if you wanted to stay for dinner, but she went ahead and dropped your car off. Dad rode with her so that he could drive her back to the house. She said that your parents asked where you were, that they couldn’t reach you. But seemed fine that you were just hanging out with friends.”

Simon felt guilty at that, he hadn’t meant to worry his parents about him.

“You didn’t ruin your phone from sitting in the rain, did you?” Garrett asked.

Simon shook his head, “I left it in my room. I didn’t see a reason to have it on me anymore.” Not since Blue decided to delete his account, he thought.

“The emails?” Garrett asked.

“Yeah…” Simon mumbled.

“Here,” Garrett said as he grabbed his phone out of his pocket and then handed it to Simon.

“Why?”

“Don’t you need to call your parents and let them know you’re here. That way you can let them know when you’ll be back. My parents always liked knowing where I was so that in case something happened. I always try to give them an idea when I’ll be back. And I think mom wants to meet you,” Garrett asked.

“Ohh… yeah, probably,” Simon replied, taking the offered phone. He was thankful he had memorized his mom’s cell number. Otherwise, he would probably be in for a worse lecture when he got home. Though usually they knew about play practice, for all they knew, he had that after school. And then one of his friends asked if he would hang out for a bit.

They would probably still ask him on why he had left his cell phone at home and didn’t have it with him. He could always tell them that he had forgotten and was already at school when he remembered. That he hadn’t expected one of his friends to ask to hang out for a bit. It was mostly the truth.

Though he had left his phone behind on purpose and didn’t want to think about it. It was probably a good thing because it would have gotten water damaged and probably unusable. Then he would probably have to ask his parents for a new one. He didn’t think they would be too pleased about that one.

The only thing he would have used his phone was if his parents called him. Nora still wasn’t old enough to get a cell phone yet. He hadn’t gotten his until two years ago. He also used it to call and text his friends since Leah liked to send video calls. Well, he didn’t have a use for doing that anymore.

Simon could feel his hands start to slightly shake as he typed in his mom’s number. His grey peeked at Garrett while he heard the phone ring in his ear. Who in turn had sat on his bed while digging through his bookbag. It looked like had already changed because he wasn’t in jeans anymore, it was a pair of basketball shorts. Simon had to force himself to turn away and focus on the phone call.

“Hello?”

“Hey mom,” Simon said softly.

“Simon!? I thought you were still at your friend’s house, his mom just dropped of the car not that long ago.”

“I am. Garrett let me borrow his phone so that you know that I’ll be having dinner here. Can you also tell Nora that I’ll miss her cooking,” Simon confirmed.

There was a soft laugh on the other end, “I’m sure she knows. Are you spending the night?”

Simon started to shake his head before realizing that he was on the phone, his mom couldn’t see him. “No, I’ll be back after.” He felt a blush creeping on his face, he had heard the curious tone in her voice.

There were no questions about why he wasn’t with Nick or his other friends. He hadn’t told his family about that part yet. Even though he knew that his mom probably noticed and was curious. He figured that was her way of giving him space. But there was no way that she hadn’t missed that he no longer talked about them anymore. And as far as they knew, he wasn’t dating anyone yet.

He wasn’t sure if that would ever change. He still felt a bit hung up on Blue but not in the way he was when the emails started. There had been a lot of tears of the fact. But he was still coming to grips that it would never happen. And it wasn’t like there were many people at his school that he liked that he knew was gay.

Simon then hung up the phone before handing it back to Garrett.

“Thanks, and not just for letting me use your phone. I didn’t expect… really any of this,” Simon said as he fiddled with the sleeve of the borrowed shirt.

“Simon, it wasn’t like I was just going to walk by when you were just sitting in the pouring rain. I am not heartless, and I know Bram wouldn’t have stood idle either. What your friends did to you is inexcusable. I don’t know if they would have walked by, and I don’t want to ask them either. Far as I’m concerned, I’m not friends with any of them. I won’t stand by people that will do that shit like they did to you.”

"What if they're right?" Simon asked, he could help that his voice started to waiver.

"Right about what!? What the hell did they say to you?!" Garrett asked, there was an edge to his tone.

Simon bit his lip at that. It was one thing for him to think about what happened and it was another to have to explain it.

"Do you remember Homecoming?" Simon asked, he decided he better start easy.

Garrett frowned, "kind of hard to forget that." It happened in front of the entire school or least everyone that was present at the Homecoming football game.

Simon took in a deep breathe, "That's the same person you happened to hit because of the whole blackmail thing."

Garrett narrowed his eyes at that. It had been impossible to forget that. He could still remember the feel of Simon in his arms as he let out all the emotions that he had been holding in. It hadn't been hard to guess what it was about even though he didn't hear the entire conversation.

"He was the one that posted that on CreekSecrets," Garrett said, there was still a remaining question, where did he get those emails? He doubted that Simon handed them over.

Simon nodded.

"Why? What would he have to gain from that?"

"He liked Abby..." Simon said softly.

Garrett's eyes went wide, "so that entire speech?"

"Yeah..."

"How did he get those emails? I know they're real," Garrett asked, he could see that from Simon’s reactions.

Simon blew out a harsh breath, "that was my own fault. I was impatient and used the computer in the library. I forgot to log out and Martin happened to use that computer."

"Nothing about this is yours to blame! The only fault here is Martin but I know there's more to this." Garrett cut him off.

The words didn't help comfort him, but Simon still appreciated them all the same. He still felt guilty on how everything had started. So, the blame was still heavy on his mind and that he was the only one to blame.

"If I didn't want Martin to out me, I had to help him get with Abby. Which meant I had to lie to my own friends to keep them apart..." Simon admitted, he could feel his eyes starting to well up again. But he refused to let them fall. “Nick was mad at me because I prevented him from asking Abby out. And Abby was mad because of the lies I had to tell and the fact I was trying to hook her and Martin up. Leah… I convinced Nick to ask her out and she liked me, and I was supposed to know. That I was the reason why I broke her heart…”

"You mean to tell me that they cared more about their relationship and not their best friend!?" Garrett hissed.

Simon winced, it hurt to hear even though it was true.

“Listen to me, Simon. I was friends with Nick just as long as you were. Nick and them, they have no excuses for this. They should have understood you and been there for you. This is not some simple argument that takes a few days and you’re all good. Your entire life had been set upside down because of some dickhead that don’t know any common decency. I can get being mad and upset but even I would understand that it was out of your control in this situation. All of them were out of bounds for what they did.”

Simon frowned as he listened to Garrett’s words. It wasn’t like he didn’t get what he was trying to tell him. It was easy to forget that Garrett probably had been friends with Nick for as long. But it wasn’t as easy to just forget years and years of friendship in just a few days. He knew that they had done it so easily which made him doubt himself. That he felt himself doubting if their friendship was real to begin with if they could easily turn it off and not think about it.

He had never doubted it before, and it wasn’t like he didn’t have other friends. They weren’t as close as Nick and Leah had been. Even Abby was able to join their close knit of friends and it felt like she had been there the entire time. It was hard to displace that it only had been less than a year ago that he had met her.  

Maybe that was why it was so hard to forget because she had been the first person that he had come out to. To finally admit that about himself out loud and make that decision for himself. Then there was Leah’s snapback on why she hadn’t been the first one. There had been so many reasons why, he told himself.

It had been so easy to talk to Abby about anything that came to mind, she had been so easy to talk to. And he didn’t have years of friendship to worry about if she decided that she hated him for who he was and liked. There was so much less to lose by telling Abby first. But he had lost her friendship anyways.

Leah and Nick had been there at first when he was first outed but that was before they knew about the blackmail. Then tables had quickly turned on him and he had been dropped like yesterday’s trash. It was all of these things that made him doubt the friendship. But there was a part of him that desperately wanted them back.

To talk like they always had, and it didn’t matter what time it was. Act like things had never changed and go back before Christmas. So, it didn’t make sense that Garrett would drop his own friendship with Nick all because of him. It wasn’t like they did that to him and Bram. And he still had soccer that he had to team up with Nick. Where Simon only had a few classes with him and then play practice with Abby. He almost wished that he could drop it, but he couldn’t…

But as soon as the play of Cabernet was put on, he wasn’t going to join another. Which pained him because he did enjoy the acting and getting into it. But it hurt even more when he was on the same stage and backstage as Abby and that he couldn’t talk to her anymore. He couldn’t help her when she was having trouble with her lines. It was like he couldn’t get out of the school fast enough on those days.  

So, instead of saying something to what Garrett told him. He asked something else just so he didn’t have to think more of it. Because he knew he probably would start balling again. And it already felt bad enough that he had cried on Garrett last time. And he didn’t want to show up to eat dinner with Garrett’s parents with red eyes.

“How long will it take to dry my clothes?”

Garrett’s eyebrows furrowed, as if he knew that Simon was avoiding the topic on purpose. But it wasn’t like he could blame him for it. “Should be done by the time dinner is done. Mom is a pretty good cook. Dad too when he tries to help mom out after she worked all day. Hate wearing my clothes that much?”

Simon blushed at the teasing. "No! That's not what I meant by it. I just want to strip off – No! I didn't mean it like that umm, wait, they smell nice... but not in a weird way! I feel great, you're great - I mean they're great! I - God..." Simon trailed off covering his face, mortified.

Garrett had to raise a hand to his mouth to try to stop the slight snickering as he watched Simon’s face just get redder and redder by the second. It was obvious that Simon was just getting more and more embarrassed by every word that slipped out. But he enjoyed hearing every word, which were probably fueling his ego at that moment. As it did confirm that Simon probably found him appealing, something he wouldn’t have known beforehand.

Before anything else could be said, Garrett’s mom then hollered up the stairs.

“Garrett! Dinner is ready for you and your friend!”

The yell made the pair of them jump in surprise, not entirely prepared for it.

“Come on, let’s go. My mom makes the best BBQ ribs and even I know that the lunches at school aren’t always the best,” Garrett says before descending down the stairs.

Simon slowly nodding, he could still feel the embarrassment fading. He still couldn’t believe that he had said all of that. He figured that Garrett would finally be disgusted since he had almost let a few things slip. But nothing like that happened. He quickly followed after, since he had no idea where they would eat at.

He saw the door that he had walked through earlier as they went around and walked down another flight of stairs. The first room had to be their living room since he spotted a couch, a few chairs, and the television. If he looked to the right, that had to be a sitting room with the walls covered in bookcases. That was when he spotted the kitchen, there was a plate of some of the ribs that Garrett’s mom had cooked, sitting on the stove. That was when he spotted the table after you walked through the kitchen.

He saw a woman by the table, who was probably Garrett’s mom. She was currently setting the table. She had light blonde hair that went past her shoulders. She was wearing a tank top and jeans as she placed the plates down.

She looked up and grinned at the pair of them. Though she glanced at her son quick, as if confirming something with just looks.

“You must be Simon. It is lovely to finally meet you. I don’t think I have met a person that my son talks about more.”

Simon felt a blush creeping up on his neck at the words. He glanced at Garrett to see that he was blushing as well. It wasn’t a sight that he saw very often. But he also knew how embarrassing moms could be.

There was an embarrassed whine as Garrett complained, “mom!”

“I’m only telling the truth, Garrett dear. Though your mom seemed very nice when I dropped of the car earlier,” Garrett’s mom commented.

Simon felt himself smiling, “I really appreciate you doing that.”

“Think nothing of it, Simon dear. Why don’t you two sit while I try to pry my husband off his guitar.”

Simon slowly nodded before slowly sitting down in the closest seat. It wasn’t even a minute before he saw Garrett’s dad.

He could see where he got his looks from. Garrett’s dad had dark brunette hair and was wearing a plain grey shirt and jeans.

“You must be Simon,” he greeted.

Simon gave a slow nod, since he hadn’t really met his dad before.

“It’s good to meet you and I am sure you are hungry for dinner,” he said.

It was at that moment when his stomach growled.

Garrett’s mom gave a gentle smile, “then I see no reason for all of us to deny dinner.”

Simon watched as she dished him some of the ribs on the plate before serving the rest of them. It was quite different than the dinners at his own house. Nora always surprised him by some type of meal that was on Top Chef that she would try to make. Which were slowly getting better.

But Simon had to give Garrett some credit, he wasn’t lying when he said that his mom was a really good cook. Nora hadn’t yet mastered yet on the perfect way to cook ribs. Sometimes it was too tender or too overcooked. That or it was little or too much seasoning to the meat. That never stopped him from giving her compliments as he didn’t want to discourage her when frankly the food did suck.

There was light topics over dinner, mostly asking Garrett on how school and practice was going. And some questions towards Simon on what his family was like. It was nice that they didn’t pretend that Simon wasn’t there and tried to include him in the conversations.

Though he had to step back and watch as Garrett helped his mom clean up the table. His dad quickly stepping back and heading towards the door. He would later see that he only went to the other room to watch tv.

“Hope my parents didn’t overwhelm you too much. Mom sometimes gets a bit excited when she meets one of my friends for the first time,” Garrett apologized.

“Your mom seemed really nice, and they didn’t,” Simon grinned.

Garrett nodded before darting down one of the hallways. Which confused Simon until he returned with his clothes.

“I almost forgot about your clothes and figured you didn’t want to spend the entire night in mine,” Garrett grinned as he handed the clothes over. They were still really warm from the dryer, which must have meant they had just finished drying as they finished dinner.

“I really appreciate all of this. I know that your mom didn’t have to offer me dinner and all of that,” Simon thanked him.

“Mom doesn’t mind, I think she likes the fact that she can feed my friends and make sure I’m doing okay,” Garrett shrugged.

Simon nodded. He started to open his mouth to ask Garrett something but decided against it. He had been curious about something but quickly changed his mind.

“I’m just gonna… get dressed now,” Simon said awkwardly before climbing up the stairs towards the guest bedroom. He still felt embarrassed by what he had left slip before dinner. Though it was nice to finally be back in his own clothes again. It had been really weird not to be wearing his hoodie and jacket. It was like he lost a part of himself without them. Even though he knew exactly where they were.

At the same time, he kind of missed the feel of wearing someone else’s clothes. He wasn’t sure exactly on the reason why he felt like that. But the clothes had been comfortable but there was something different about it… He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what the reason was or not.

He wrapped his jacket around him tighter and sighed, it still had that warm feeling from coming out the dryer. The room wasn’t cold or anything, but he could feel himself starting to relax. He supposed that meant that Garrett would take him back home now. He didn’t know why he felt disappointed by that thought.

Chapter Text

Helping Hand – Chapter 3 (Rumors… True or Not)

If you told Simon that things at Creek Wood High would get worse as time rolled past, he wouldn’t be surprised. But it seemed like things hadn’t changed much with Ethan.

Aaron and Spencer were still suspended so both him and Ethan got a break from that. But that didn’t mean that the rest of the school didn’t give him a hard time. Though he never saw anything physical or violent happen with Ethan and he wondered on why that was. It was just another thing for him to be jealous about.

Was it because Ethan actually had friends that wanted to be around him? It was a bitter thought, but Simon didn’t care.

It wasn’t like he was going to run to Garrett or Bram when every little thing happened. He didn’t know if that was part of his pride or not. But it seemed like the school would believe anything that went on.

Granted, he never denied it when Martin had outed him on CreekSecrets. Maybe he should have but he didn’t see what purpose it would serve. The school would believe anything if someone said something. So, he had kept quiet but never denied it when someone asked. Which meant it would spread to the rest of the school that Simon Spier was indeed gay and liked dudes.

Which probably brought the next raging rumor and of course he had heard about it too. But it had been because of some girl he didn’t know. Not because he heard someone whispering about it.

“Is it true that you’re dating Garrett on the soccer team?”

The girl has short brunette hair as her friend giggled beside her.

“What?! No!” Simon denied. “We’re only friends.”

The girl looked at him like she didn’t believe him but at least she had left him alone. He didn’t get on why they would think that. Just because he was friends with another guy didn’t mean he was in love with them. But apparently nobody understood that.

He was like any other person who had a crush on someone. It didn’t matter if he was gay or not. You didn’t just have a crush on them because they had something between their legs or not.

But it didn’t seem to matter that Simon denied the rumor, it still had spread around the school and seemed to be all they wanted to talk about. Since it was apparently a big thing to him that one of the gay kids was dating someone. He didn’t really see why it would be any of their business if it were true.

Even though it was a rumor, it didn’t stop from Simon thinking about it more than he should. It was like once the idea was heard, it was stuck. Soon enough, it was all that he could think about. Which made him think about that night at Garrett’s house. He still couldn’t get it out of his head on how his clothes had felt and the fact that they smelt like Garrett and his deodorant. But he tried to put it out of his head because then he started to feel a bit weird after.

Because then he couldn’t help but picture what it would be like to be dating Garrett. To walk down the hallway and be greeted with a kiss to the cheek or lips. To be able to openly hold hands as he went from class to class. Which meant his looks lingered on Garrett during lunches and he had to force himself to look down before he got caught. He hoped that Garrett didn’t notice either. He didn’t need anymore embarrassment right now.

The dinner at his house would come more to his mind when he had these thoughts. Not just because of the clothes. But because of what Garrett’s mom had said when he first met her. It had been clear that Garrett had been telling his parents about him. But he couldn’t figure out yet on why. And the way that she said it…

You must be Simon. It is lovely to finally meet you. I don’t think I have met a person that my son talks about more.

It was more than just a few mentions of his name, the way the words were said. It seemed something that was more frequent. But as far as he knew, Garrett wasn’t gay. So, it made his feelings feel all scattered and confused, not knowing what to think anymore.

He knew that if Blue hadn’t deleted his email account, he probably would still be focusing on him. He probably wouldn’t even be thinking about this so hard. But that was the difference, wasn’t it? Blue had deleted his account and left him all alone and yet… he hadn’t.

Simon had Garrett, at least as a friend and someone that seemed to care about him. He couldn’t say that he didn’t care especially after what he did for him. It was more than just sitting with him at lunch so that he wouldn’t be alone. He didn’t feel alone like he had that day when the email account had been deleted.

Did that mean that Blue had only been an infatuation on what could be? He had always assumed that what he was feeling was the beginnings of a crush. Since there really weren’t really anyone at school that he had a crush on.

What did that mean for whatever feelings he had for Garrett? He wasn’t sure but he was positive that Garrett would never feel the same anyways. He was straight and probably only saw Simon as a friend.

Is this what it felt like to like someone that was considered out of your league? To experience heartbreak by your feelings alone. All because you had feelings for someone that you knew would never happen. Falling for a guy that was straight was one of the things that Simon told himself that he would never do.

So, he did what he could to not think about it. But it was hard when Garrett did things like that. Even when it was as simple as him giving him the burnt tater tots all because he could remember that he preferred them more. Simple things that he had never told Garrett before but all because he noticed and remembered. He wasn’t used to that besides when Leah would just hand him hers. He had always assumed that Garrett was too wrapped up in whatever he was telling Nick or Bram. So, it was a small surprise to him that managed to make him smile.

But it wasn’t something he could do because he didn’t even know what Garrett liked and he hated not knowing. He had always been good at observing what people did and liked. It was how he showed that he did pay attention to things that they liked. On how he showed his appreciation for their friendship. After so many years of being friends with Leah and Nick, he knew their quirks, likes, and dislikes. But that wasn’t something he knew with Garrett, and it made him want to kick himself for not knowing.

The only thing he knew about him was that he liked BBQ ribs given that he ate his mom’s cooking and at a much faster pace than he did. But that was the most that he could say that he knew about Garrett. Well, besides that he knew that he played guitar and loved to play soccer. Which he supposed was a bit more than most people knew. The entire school probably knew that Garrett was on the soccer team but not about playing guitar.

Since he doubted that he would still play it if he actually hated it.

That was another thing that had changed. In the two months since the dinner at Garret’s, he wound up attending the soccer practices again. It had been something he had avoided since he had been forced out and lost his friends.

He still went to the play practices since those didn’t end until a month or so before the end of the year. He couldn’t avoid those as much as he liked to. And because he didn’t have a major role in the play, it wasn’t like he had direct contact with Abby. It was as much as he could handle for the moment.

And going back to the soccer practices and games wasn’t intentional. All because Garrett had asked if he would go since he didn’t have play practice.

When did Garrett notice what days that he had play practice?! It wasn’t like he told him in words on the days. He felt like an idiot that he had agreed to it. Because he still did have a thing about seeing the calves when soccer players would be out in the field.

Though he had to remember not to call it an audition again. He could still remember blushing because he forgot that for sports, it was called a tryout. And he knew that Garrett would probably tease him about it. But he remembered not to stay in the rain again because he wasn’t sure he could deal with going through that again.

He at least made sure he kept his phone with him, the lecture from his parents had been enough. But they had least taken his excuse that he had just happened to forget to put it in his bookbag before leaving that morning. Though he couldn’t escape the questions about Garrett since his mom had told them on who she was.

It wasn’t as bad soon as he admitted that he was one of his friends from lunch and was friends with Nick. Which there would have to eventually be a conversation to tell his parents about Nick, Leah, and Abby.

Though he did finally get to tell Nora he was sorry for lashing out at her during Christmas. He couldn’t help the guilt that kept eating at him. But he should have known that Nora would have never blamed him for that.

“You’re still my older brother, Si. I get that things were too much for you,” Nora told him.

“I wanted to tell you, but I just didn’t—”

“Know how,” she smiled. “I know dad can be a bit much with the jokes, but he does love you.”

Simon nodded before hugging his sister.

There was probably some inside hope that the school would keep it at slurs and comments when Simon would walk through the hallways. He didn’t know what he was thinking when he thought that. Maybe because with Ethan, that’s all he saw. And Ethan didn’t say that there were any violent encounters because of his own sexuality.

But he knew that he didn’t have the constant presence of having someone with him at all times like Ethan did. Ethan’s friends all shared the same classes.

There was a majority of classes that were shared but there were several times where he had to walk by himself to his next class. He had the occasional pushes and shoves. Sometimes where they would push him to the floor and would drop anything that he was carrying.

That was when he had learned to keep everything in his bookbag and not carry anything in his hands. He definitely made sure that his phone would be in a place where it wouldn’t be destroyed. The school already knew about that other pen pal that he would email. For all they knew, he probably talked to them. So, to them, his phone was vital to him. It was, but not for reasons they thought. He used it mostly for when his parents needed to get hold of him. Or when Garrett decided to send him a text or would call him.

He was no longer at a part where he felt so impatient that he needed to check to see what they sent him. Which only made him want to kick himself that he had been so excited to see a single email from Blue.

It was as the weeks and months rolled by that he would just push the thought of Blue out of his mind. There was still some hurt on how he had abandoned him. But it didn’t hurt as bad as the day he read the email. He didn’t know what it meant for himself.

That wasn’t to say he would forget about the emails and how he found some of the courage in himself to tell that part of himself. Even though one of those people he no longer spoke with anymore. It still meant something to him that he was able to have that courage in himself.

It was for this reason that Simon tried to ignore when one of the guys from the football team was swearing at him. Since he found it easier to just block it out and try to go through his day as much as he could. Reminding himself that he only had this year and one more year. He could do it.

He expected for him to knock him into the wall and trip him. And then hear the laughter as he tried to pick himself back up. He just wanted to get to lunch so he could leave school sooner. Cause that meant that half of the school day was over. And he was supposed to meet Garrett in the lunchroom anyways, like he always did.

He felt someone tug on his bookbag, and he couldn’t stop his own two feet from being pulled back. He couldn’t even try to pull forward and get them to lose their grip on him. The strength of the pull was enough to make him fall backwards.

His face felt red as he heard laughter around him. Everyone that was around had stopped in their tracks to watch. Like they had nothing better to do and watch how one of the football guys bullied one of the gay guys in the school.

He felt himself pulled to his feet before being pinned against the wall. The putrid stench of their breath was practically nauseous.

“Look at me when I talk to you, fag!” He spatted at him.

“Trying but the disgusting odor of your breath makes that hard,” Simon snapped before cringing. He didn’t think that would be the best thing to say right now.  

He could hear gasps around him as he got punched in the eye before he was slammed back down on the ground. He could feel the wind being knocked out of him.

But nobody still offered to help him up. Only now walking away to wherever they were going, most likely to their next class or lunch. He hated them.

Simon raised a hand to touch where he had been punched before wincing. It hurt. He used the wall to help himself back on his feet. The hallway was now deserted as he made his way to the bathroom.

He could see red as part of his face were slowly bruising. It would definitely be noticeable in a few days and suddenly he wasn’t hungry.

He pulled up on the hood on his hoodie as he exited the bathroom, he walked down the hallway before looking both ways. He still didn’t see anyone as he opened the door to the empty classroom. He doubted that anyone would come looking for him.

He tossed his bookbag to the side as it crumbled to the floor. His back was against the wall as he slid down onto the floor. He placed his head into his hands before breathing deeply as a tear rolled down his check. He hated this so much. He didn’t even know how he was going to explain this to his parents. It was easier to do in the morning since he could go down the stairs, swipe what Nora had made and get out the door. Dinner… that wasn’t so easy, and he could feel the dread settling deep in his stomach.

He couldn’t see the school doing anything since he doubted that anyone would report what happened just now. And it wasn’t like he knew exactly who that guy was and why he had hit him. No, he knew why… Why couldn’t they just pretend he didn’t exist, he would have preferred that.

He had an alarm set on his phone that would let him know a few minutes before his next class started, which usually he had with Garrett and Bram. But right now, he didn’t feel like seeing either of them. There was a part of him that just wanted to leave the school and not come back until tomorrow. Give him time to sort through the feelings of anguish and tears until he could get them under more control.

Though he wasn’t sure on how much time had passed, it couldn’t have been long before he heard the door open. He resisted the urge to look up and see who it was. That would be the easiest way to get recognized and then they would see his eye.

“Simon? Why are you in here?” Garrett’s voice was familiar as ever.

Simon tried not to blush as he clutched his jacket even tighter around him. Like that would help him disappear into the walls. It was a nice thought.

“Not hungry…” he muttered.

If Simon looked up, he probably would have seen a disbelieving look on his face. Like the words didn’t make much sense to him. Given that he had spent every day at school eating with him at one of the tables. But it wasn’t something that Simon thought about since he only wanted to hide right now.  

“I’ll be right back,” Garrett muttered before walking right back out of the abandoned room.

It actually made Simon looked up to see where Garrett disappeared, if he hadn’t heard his voice… he may have assumed he dreamed it all. It probably wasn’t even five minutes later when he saw the door opening again.

It was Garrett and he was wearing his usual soccer hoodie. He honestly thought it looked good on him with the colors of green and white. His face tinted pink at the thought before looking down again.

Not only had Garrett came back but he was currently carrying two trays with him. It looked like neither of them had been touched.

“Why do you have two trays?” Simon asked, his eyes flickering up. Forgetting that his eye was probably still red.

“Because I know you and that you probably barely ate this morning. And I wasn’t going to let you wait till you got back home before you finally ate something. So, the not hungry, that is an excuse if I ever heard one,” Garrett replied.

Simon blushed; he had remembered telling Garrett that sometimes Nora’s cooking sucked. There were a lot of times he would just get something along the way to school most of the time. Though he had to suck in a breath when he felt one of Garrett’s hands on his neck.

Only to realize that Garrett used that moment to flick his hood down, so that his face was no longer hidden by the hoodie. His hand felt warm on his face as it traced the redness at his eye.

He slightly flinched from the pain. His eye still felt sore from the punch. The hand was gone, and Simon felt guilty because he was missing the touch.

“Not hungry, huh?” Garrett murmured.

Simon stayed quiet before reaching for some of the fries on the tray. That was when his stomach growled.

“It’s nothing,” Simon whispered when he was no longer chewing on food.

“Simon, that is not nothing!” Garrett snapped. “This isn’t some calling you words, someone hit you!”

Simon shrugged; he didn’t know what he could say to that. He knew what it was, and he hated it. He didn’t need Garrett to tell him that.

“It’s not like I can do much of anything…” Simon murmured as he took a bite out of the sandwich. There was even grape juice. “Even if I told Mr. Worth, there was no teacher there to witness it. All they have is some confession from one of their gay students and it would be one word against another. There wouldn’t be a point…”

Garrett frowned at that; he still didn’t like it.

“Who was it?”

Simon shrugged, taking another bite.

“Simon…” Garrett pressed.

Simon felt himself flushing despite himself, “I don’t know. Someone from the football team, I think. And how did you know I like turkey?”

Garrett grinned at him, “lucky guess.”

Simon bit his lip at that, glancing down as he opened the grape juice. He tried not to think about that it was more than a lucky guess. He knew that Garrett was probably furious over what happened. The way that his lips tightened, and his blue eyes narrowed. There was a hidden rage in them.

It was hard not to feel a bit elated because he was getting furious over his behalf. He was sure if his former friends saw him, they wouldn’t even say anything. Which he was getting used to the feeling of that now. That knowing his old friends no longer gave a shit about him. Before it would make him cry or even tear up. But now, it was just a resigned feeling. All it wanted him to do was sigh and try to go with his day.

He wasn’t sure on how Garrett managed to get another tray, but he really appreciated it. He couldn’t think of anyone else that would have gone and done that. And they probably knew that Garrett already had a tray and possibly charged him for extra food.

“You up for skipping the rest of the day?” Garrett asked.

Simon had been in the middle of shoving more fries into his mouth so all he could do was blink. He had to make sure not to choke as he swallowed.

“Garrett, I’m not going to skip class every time I have a problem. Not to mention my parents may kill me for that. But avoiding isn’t going to help me any. And it’s not like high school will last forever,” Simon narrowed his eyes.

Garrett shrugged his shoulders before taking a bite out of his sandwich.

“Is there a reason why?”

“Thought you may like a distraction from everything,” Garrett commented easily.

“As nice as the offer is, I will be just fine.” It felt like a lie even as Simon said it. He didn’t really want to deal with all the bullying but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. So, he dealt with it the best he could. He refused to shed any tears around them, he would never give them that satisfaction. He could feel the slow ache, but he ignored it as he ate the rest of lunch.

Even though, Simon had said he would go to the rest of his classes. That didn’t stop him from being extra cautious of everyone around him. He didn’t want to run back into that same football player.

He never had to deal with physical violence in school, so he was doing his best to avoid it. Getting hit in the eye didn’t feel too good. And it was giving him a headache as he went from class to class. Though he wasn’t surprised to see that Garrett would even go to his class before going to his own.

The close proximity should have annoyed him and maybe any other time he may have told him to get lost. But he enjoyed it too much to even think about it. He thought he knew why Garrett was doing it. Because if he wasn’t alone down the hallways, it wouldn’t happen again. Or if they tried, he would know who it was. He had hit Martin and given him a broken nose. So, there was no telling what Garrett would do if he found the one that hit him.

Simon almost pitied the guy that hit him because of that. He didn’t know why but he knew that Garrett probably wouldn’t hold back. He had never seen him truly furious, but he might if that happened. At least now, he knew that Garrett would make sure that nobody would pull anything. It was like having your own personal guardian angel that looked after you. Which only helped make him blush at the thought.

It was almost a relief by the time that his last class ended, and he wasn’t surprised to see that Garrett was leaning against the wall. He wondered if his class had ended early or if he made an excuse to leave early. No matter what it was, he felt thankful as he went on to talk about the essay that Mr. Wise had assigned them.

He was a bit surprised that he wasn’t heading towards the soccer field and kept walking with him to the student lot.

“Don’t you have practice?” Simon questioned.

“Nope, coach decided to cancel. Something about a family emergency, which most of us think that his wife is getting close to being in labor,” Garrett shoved his hands into his pockets.

“I bet he must be proud,” Simon replied.

“Probably will take up the entire practice after,” Garrett agreed.

That was when Simon reached his own car and was about to dig out the keys before he felt Garrett’s hand.

“Nope! You’re riding with me today, Si.”

Simon couldn’t help the small grin on his face, “will your mom drop it off again?”

“Might just keep it around the house until you want to drive home. I think she enjoys when you come over for dinner,” Garrett said, leading them to his own vehicle.

Simon didn’t hesitate in opening the door and throwing his bag to the backseat. Since the first time he rode in Garrett’s Jeep, he was getting used to the constant country music playing. And he did like eating at his house.

“Your house?” Simon asked.

“Thought we go somewhere different today,” Garrett says instead.

“Where?”

Garrett just looked over at him and grinned, “you’re welcome to guess.”

Simon bit his lip and watched as Garrett pulled out of the lot and onto the road. He wasn’t sure where Garrett was taking him but noticed he was taking a familiar path.

“You’re not taking me to Waffle House?” Simon said, starting to feel apprehensive about the entire thing. He hadn’t been able to go back since the last time he had been there. That was when made the excuse to help Abby run lines with Martin. He couldn’t go back. That was where he had hung out all the time with his former friends. There were too memories, and it was too painful to even think about. It would only remind him of what was and what would never be.

“Guess again,” was the only answer Garrett gave.

Simon leaned his back against the seat, slouching. He gave a huge sigh, secretly relieved that wasn’t the place Garrett was driving to. Which was proven to him when he drove right past and didn’t even give it a second glance.

That didn’t stop the surprise that washed over him when he saw the place that Garrett pulled into.

“Denny’s?” Simon questioned.

“You need a distraction.”

Simon frowned, did he? He wasn’t exactly sure on why Garrett would have picked this place. Granted he couldn’t ever remember going here since Waffle House had always been his go to place. He decided to unbuckle the seatbelt than question it further.

The pair of them were given a booth when they walked in. It felt… a bit… intimate when he was just looking at Garrett across the table. But used the menu as a way to distract his own thoughts and avoid looking at Garrett.

It was after they placed the drinks that Simon looked up when Garrett said he was going to the bathroom. Shrugging his shoulders, Simon took a sip of the Coke he had ordered while looking more at the lunch and dinner menu. He wasn’t in a mood for breakfast food and so he missed Garrett walking up to the lady that had took the order for their drinks. Whispering something in her ear before walking towards the bathrooms, just like he said he would.

He was back by the time that Simon found what he wanted and didn’t hesitate to order one of the Club Sandwiches. It looked good and he had never tried it before.

Garrett wound up getting a burger with chicken, bacon, and beef as he took a drink of his own Dr. Pepper. But got to watch as a new drink was brought to the table.

It was a shake, that much was obvious.

Simon scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, “we didn’t order this…”

The lady only gave him a grin before walking away.

“Try it,” Garrett commented.

“What?! What is it?”

“Try it. You may like it.”

Simon looked apprehensive about it before tasting the shake and his eyes went wide.

“You got me an Oreo Shake?!” He knew he was grinning ear to ear, practically vibrating with excitement. “How did you—”

“Not hard to miss that you love Oreos and I like their shakes here. I prefer the Cake Batter one myself,” Garrett replied.

Simon could feel himself blushing and wished he had the menu to hide behind. He didn’t know what to say to express what he thought. So, he took another drink of the shake instead.

The bright grin on Garrett’s face told Simon exactly what he thought.

The shake was about one-third gone by the time the food came out. And the food was just as good as the shake. Simon almost had a hard time to pick which one he wanted first. The food won out since that would get colder faster. The Coke was almost forgotten by the time Simon finished the shake.

That was around the time that Garrett finished his own food. Paying for it before Simon could even say a word of paying for his own. The same girl from before only gave them a secret smile.

Simon could feel himself wanting to ask something but didn’t say a word until they were back in Garrett’s Jeep. A conversation he didn’t start until Garrett started driving as soon as he pulled out of Denny’s.

“Thank you,” Simon murmured at first. “I wasn’t sure what to expect when you said that I needed a distraction. I don’t think I would have ever expected this, and I didn’t even realize you knew that I liked Oreos.”

“It would be pretty bad if I didn’t since you are always eating them at lunch,” Garrett gave a little laugh at that.

It made Simon chuckle, he supposed that Garrett had a point. But none of his friends had done something like this. Just because they thought he needed some cheering up. He didn’t even know that Denny’s had Oreo Shakes. He already wanted another one. It had been hard not to ask for another so he could have it to go.

That was when they pulled into Garrett’s driveway, and he saw the familiar red car. And then it felt like they were completely alone despite that Garrett’s parents were just inside.

Simon felt nervous as he finally brought up his thoughts that he had been wondering for a couple months. He wasn’t sure what gave him the courage for it. Maybe because Garrett had done this for him. And it wasn’t the first time either.

“When I first had dinner here with your parents… What did your mom mean that you hadn’t met a person that you talked about more?”

It was the first time he saw that Garrett was at a loss for words. It was a minute before he finally spoke.

“Have you ever had thoughts so focused on one person, that they are the only thing you can think about?” Garrett wet his lips with the edge of his tongue.

“Yes…” Simon breathed, and for the first time, he wasn’t thinking about Blue.

Simon watched as Garrett released his seatbelt and leaned over. His eyes fell shut as he felt Garrett’s hand cupping his cheek. Then he felt wet lips.

Garrett’s other hand cupped Simon’s face, his fingers curling into his blonde hair. His head was tilted to the side so that he could move his lips against his. When he pulled back, all he could see were Simon’s eyes.

“I—I thought you were straight—” Simon stuttered, as if he couldn’t believe that Garrett actually kissed him.

“Pansexual actually,” Garrett was smiling again.

“I don’t—”

“I have never seen it as I like him or her. I never really cared what parts my crushes had. Its usually them that I like despite all of that. It wouldn’t matter if you were a guy or girl, Simon. I just… just like you. The one that focuses so much on his friends that he doesn’t think of himself. The guy that loves Oreos and geeks out about Harry Potter, not caring how he’ll be judged. The one that is so strong despite the entire school being against you. That’s who I like.”

“Oh…” Simon’s eyes were wide. “So, all of that before—”

Garrett gave him a nod, a blush appearing on his face.

“I think I would be okay with that,” Simon grinned, meeting Garrett’s lips halfway.