Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He’d been through this a million times before, but he just couldn’t find the right words. Michael Wheeler was writing a letter to his best friend of 10 years, William Byers, who moved away to California last summer. This was the first of many drafts to never see the light of day.

Mike had written dozens of letters… to his girlfriend, Eleven… who happened to be Will’s sister, but this was Will, for god’s sake! Why couldn’t he just write what he meant? With El though, it was different. It didn’t seem to matter as much what he wrote.

Every single letter he’d written “from, Mike”, believing that ”love” was just not the right word. El would know what he meant. Obviously, he loved her, she was his girlfriend. He liked how she’d laugh at his jokes like his friends do. How she speaks softly when she’s with him, like Will. How she… wait. Did he just compare his girlfriend to Will twice?

I’m sure it’s nothing, he thought to himself.

But that ”nothing” turned into a nagging feeling. Mike put his pen down. Why was he thinking about his girlfriend when writing to Will and Will when writing to his girlfriend? That shouldn’t happen. No normal person would think like that. Mike shuddered. 

Maybe I should take a break. 

Mike stood up and stretched. He checked his watch. Will and Mike had accidentally gotten matching ones in 3rd grade and they never got rid of them. The numbers read 10:57 PM. He hadn’t realized how long he spent at his desk trying to find the words for how he felt; or if he felt anything other than friendship. 

The next day was a Saturday, but there was a meeting for Hellfire, the DnD club Mike and his friends were part of. So he turned off his desk lamp and tucked himself under the blue duvet. He needed to go to sleep early so he could wake up with enough time for a real breakfast.

But that didn’t happen. Mike couldn’t sleep. His mind was flooded with thoughts about his feelings ( or a lack thereof ) surrounding Will. Mike should be able to talk to him without the pressure of using the right words, they just got each other like that. Mike decided that he would call Will the next day after the meeting and just tell him everything; how much he misses him, all about Eddie and Hellfire, how Mike just feels lonely without him. But it’s probably just him missing his girlfriend and mistaking those feelings for his best friend. Yeah, that’s probably it.

Shit.

Mike accidentally slept in after thinking late into the night. He was groggy and only had time to throw on the clothes he’d worn to school the day before. His dark curls were in knots at the back of his head, and his shirt bunched up around the shoulders. Nancy had to work on the school newspaper, so she had agreed to drive him; but, when he woke up, he discovered she’d left without him. So Mike took his bike and showed up at 8:30 instead of 8:00 like they had all agreed to. The group was in the middle of a discussion when he burst through the door.

“Wheeler, you’re late.”

“I know. Sorry, Eddie. I just didn’t get enough sleep last night, is all.”

Mike was embarrassed, but his face was already flushed from running through the school halls, tripping on his untied laces multiple times. An annoyed, yet slightly concerned look crossed the dungeon master’s face.

“Hm, okay. Just don’t let it happen again, got it?”

“Of course. Sorry.”

Throughout the meeting, all Mike could think about was the call. He had to keep reminding himself that it was just Will and there was nothing to worry about. 

“Mike!”

Dustin’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. Mike looked around and everyone was packing up their stuff. He quickly stood up and started following the group out the door. 

As soon as they were out of earshot of the others, Dustin asked, “Are you okay?”

“Hm? Oh, no yeah, I’m fine.”

“Clearly.”

“Well, what do you want me to say?”

“Just tell me what’s wrong, dude.”

“God. Nothing’s wrong,” Mike sighed. 

He realized he was being a bit of an asshole, but Mike had a lot on his mind, after all.

“Alright. Well, see ya Monday?”

Mike nodded.

“Okay, bye. Oh, and see if you can convince Max to come to the next meeting.” 

Dustin wheeled his bike away from the school building and Mike. 

“Bye. Sorry,” he said so quietly, he almost couldn’t hear himself.

As soon as Mike got home, he ran down the basement stairs. He skidded to a stop next to the phone. On the ride from school, Mike had thought a lot about what to say first. He figured to start with the basic “how are you” and then continue to Hellfire and then eventually escalate to his confusing thoughts recently.

Mike dialed the number he had memorized for calling El. Immediately there was a tone that meant the line was busy. Maybe Ms. Byers was on a call with a client. Mike decided to call back ten minutes later. Occupied. Fifteen minutes. Still busy. Twenty. Busy. Thirty? Nothing.

He called them over five times at varying increments just to make sure he wasn’t missing anything. With that option off the table, Mike resorted back to his unfinished ( unstarted really ) letter. After an hour of stress and contemplation, it read:

Dear Will,

I hope you can forgive me for not calling much. Your phone is always busy. Maybe you guys should get a second one so your mom doesn’t hog it all day. Haha. I have a lot to tell you. Me, Dustin, and Lucas joined this DnD club called Hellfire. The Dungeon Master Eddie is really cool. He’s got long hair and a lot of rings and a leather jacket. Playing DnD again made me realize how much I miss you. Actually I think I’m starting to get on Dustin’s nerves, but I’m just kind of frustrated all the time. I don’t know. I can’t wait to see you during Spring break. 

Love,

Mike

Chapter Text

Mike had waited a week for a response from Will. On Friday, he got home from school and immediately checked the mailbox. A small envelope with a red, white, and blue stamp was on the top of the stack. It was to Mike from… he looked at the return address… Will Byers. 

Mike ran inside, up the stairs, into his room, and flopped onto his bed, not bothering to take off his shoes. He stripped open the envelope and unfolded the piece of paper that was delicately folded into thirds. In black pen and neat handwriting, Will had written:

Mike,

I miss you too! Sorry about the phone, my mom has a lot of calls. I’ll try to convince her to get another one. I’m glad the party has found another way to have fun playing DnD. The club sounds really cool. But you shouldn’t have to miss me while playing. I promised I wouldn’t find another party, so that’s what I’m doing. Please don’t kill each other. I know Dustin can be stubborn and so can you, just please leave me some friends. Spring Break will be amazing.

Love, 

Will

P.S. El says hi.

Mike had to read it over a few times, just to make sure he’d gotten everything. 

“I miss you too!”

Did Will genuinely miss him that much? Enough to say so? Mike felt his face getting warmer. He tried to imagine what Will looked like now. Maybe taller, a deeper voice, though it was hard for him to see Will with those features. And then there was the “P.S. El says hi”. It didn’t make him feel anything. That should’ve been a sign of something, but what? 

He heard a knock at the door. Mike quickly pushed the letter under his leg and picked up a nearby comic book.

“Come in.”

Nancy opened the door and stepped into the room. What could she want?

“Hey.” She closed the door behind her. Why on Earth was she closing the door?

“Hi? Did you need something?”

“Wow, rude.”

“Well, I’m just in the middle of something important.”

“You’re literally reading a comic book.”

Mike frantically thought about what to say.

“I’m uh… I’m on a part that’s very critical to the plot.”

“Mhm.”

She looked suspiciously at the comic book in his hands. It was in the center, luckily on a page with lots of action. Nancy pulled Mike’s desk chair towards the end of his bed. She looked around disapprovingly at the piles of clothes on the floor and the many papers on his desk with scrapped versions of the letter he’d sent a week ago before turning around. He was fidgeting with the corner of Will’s letter poking out under his leg. 

“Are you… okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve just been distant. More so than usual. And I know you’ve been staying up late, you’re not very discrete about it.”

Mike thought about this before Nancy continued. “I’m just worried about you. I know that Will and El moving away was hard for you, so I’m trying to consider that. I don’t want you to feel alone, even if you kind of deserve it. I am your sister, after all.”

There was a moment of silence. Mike could feel his face becoming warm and his eyes burning, but he told himself not to cry. That wouldn’t be a very manly thing to do, especially in front of Nancy.

“Mike?”

“Yeah?”

“You gonna say anything?”

“Yeah. I’m good; just stressed about school and… stuff.” 

“Stuff?”

“Yep.”

“Mike, you can… talk to me, tell me things. I may not be an expert, but I know when something’s up with you. And if I did anything to feel like you can’t tell me something, I’m sorry. Whatever it is, I’ll listen; I promise.”

Did Mike want to tell her? Did he want to explain that even though he hasn’t seen his best friend in months, he might be developing feelings for him?

I’m not supposed to feel like that. It’s wrong… disgusting…

Mike broke through his thoughts. He threw himself into Nancy’s shoulder and hugged her. His eyes were burning even more now, so he couldn’t stop the tears from pouring onto his cheeks. They dripped onto Nancy’s purple sweater and left circles that were quickly fading. It had taken her a second to realize that this was Mike’s attempt at a hug. Nancy pulled him in tighter and wrapped her arms around his torso. Mike was almost falling off the edge of the bed. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“I’ve just been so… sad… o-or confused,” he stuttered. 

“Confused?” Nancy pulled out of the hug so she could see Mike’s face. His eyes were puffy and his cheeks bright crimson. But he started blinking as soon as she pulled away and the tears came to an end. 

“Confused about what?”

“Oh, um. Just this math we’re learning.”

“Mike. You expect me to believe that you, of all people, are struggling with math?”

“Sorta?”

“C’mon. What is it?”

He sighed. Nancy knew he was upset, there was no avoiding it. Maybe he didn’t have to tell her the whole truth, though.

“I just miss them.”

“And you’re confused because…?”

“I don’t know, Nancy. I don’t know. I just– there’s something wrong and I don’t know what.”

“Wrong how?”

“God, Nancy, I said I don’t know.”

“Well is it something with El? Or Will? Did you guys get into another fight, somehow?”

“What? No. Actually, I’ve barely talked to Will.”

“Maybe that’s why.”

“That’s why what?”

“Maybe that’s why you’re so upset and grumpy all the time. Will kept you sane. He kept you in line when you did stupid shit and got into trouble.”

Mike thought about every time Will covered for him. When he was talking to a girl in Mr. Clarke’s class, Will said he had been asking for a pencil. And when Mike was mad that Lucas and Dustin invited Max to trick-or-treat with them, Will reassured him that Max was cool and that he should just trust them.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“What are you confused about then?”

Crap. There’s no getting out of this, huh?

“I guess I just feel different about El… and Will.”

Nancy seemed confused, but she gave him a look of encouragement.

“The way that I feel about El just isn’t the same. It doesn’t feel like what I think love feels like. And I’ve been thinking a lot about Will, too. Just in a different way. Like, I don’t know, maybe…” His tears started to come back. Nancy put her hand on his shoulder, a sign that she understood. She smiled at him and Mike went for another hug.

“I really miss him,” he whispered.

“I know.”

Chapter Text

It’d been a month since his breakdown, but Nancy kept looking at Mike any time anything related to Will was brought up: DnD, school, just friends in general. It was getting on his nerves. Mike visited the broken Castle Byers whenever he needed to escape the chaos. He’d tried pulling the sticks back up and re-laying the blankets, hanging up different drawings, but it was no use. Will had been really upset after the fight, and rightfully so. Mike had said some stupid things that he regretted, one thing being worse than the rest.

It’s not my fault you don’t like girls.

He hadn’t meant it that way. He hadn’t meant it all. Mike just said it out of anger and annoyance, but not at Will, at himself. How had he let himself ignore his best friend for over a month? And all he’d wanted to do was play through one campaign, but Mike had even turned that down. It was all so stupid; the ignorance, the fight, the guilt he felt when Will left, how all he wanted to do was make up for all the time he’d spent with El. 

Mike looked around at the torn pictures and soggy drawings, the dirty teddy bear and blanket. No matter how hard he fought he couldn’t get rid of the image in his brain of Will crying, holding a bat. Mike wished he could go back in time and stop himself from saying those stupid things, convincing himself to ignore El for once and spend time with his best friend. Even though Mike had said sorry, he didn’t feel like it was good enough for all the pain he’d caused Will. But he was in California now and there was no changing the past or present. Maybe he could prevent anything bad from happening to Will in the future.

Luckily, spring break was just a month away. If Mike could manage until then, he’d be able to see Will and be nice and caring towards him like he used to be. But Mike didn’t know if he could handle seeing Will right now. He wanted to be alone. So as he sat in the half-broken stick fort in the woods behind the Byers’ old house, he thought. And thought. And thought some more. He thought about Will and about all the letters he’d written that weren’t sent or weren’t for him. Then he thought about why he was thinking about Will. Mike did a lot of thinking. 

Mike did this for two hours a day for a week. But that turned into one hour because his schoolwork was starting to get heavier before the break. His mom started yelling at him for his grades and forced him to do his homework as soon as he got home. That took two hours and he was supposed to be home for dinner at 6:30, leaving Mike just over an hour for thinking time at Castle Byers. 

He wanted to spend more time there, trying to fix the mess he indirectly caused. Eventually, Mike stressed himself out too much with the thoughts in his head. He stopped visiting the site and laser focused on his school work and writing letters for El.

Now Mike just had a few days before getting to see Will. And El of course. He’d missed them for so long it almost caused him physical pain along with mental pain. No doubt he was causing the people around him mental pain as well. But Mike was just hurt and he was going to be able to see the person he’s missed for almost a year… which was obviously his girlfriend. Obviously. 

He started packing early since it was already on his mind. Mike packed lots of yellow and blue because it was his favorite color. 

Will likes yellow. El likes purple. But she also likes yellow, right? 

He pulled out a purple crew neck sweater.

Wait… didn’t she say something about it being hot?

He set aside some sandals, a yellow button-down, shorts, and a plain blue t-shirt for the day he would leave. Then all Mike had to do was survive the next few days of school and Eddie’s campaign on Friday.

I’ll be ready to go to see my favorite pers- PEOPLE. My favorite people. 

It was Friday. Mike woke up to a letter hitting him in the face.

“Hurry up and get dressed when you’re done with that. It’s already 7:20.” Nancy smiled awkwardly at him before closing the door.

He looked down and realized that the letter was from El. Her writing wasn’t the best but it was pretty good considering her lack of education in the past. He quickly skimmed the beginning but slowed when he saw Will’s name among the curly writing. 

I think it is for a girl he likes.

Nope. Mike wasn’t going to let that bother him. He’d bugged Will for so long about dating, so clearly he should let it happen. But who was this girl El mentioned? 

No. No. It doesn’t matter. It’s not going to matter. If Will is happy it’s okay. 

Why did it matter? Mike decided to think about something else. He reread the beginning of the letter, remembering something about flowers. He got an idea. After school, he could get some flowers from that field and bring them to California with him. For El, of course. 

Mike was becoming irritated with the day, especially since he and Dustin literally had to replace Lucas in Eddie’s final campaign with his sister. Luckily, Erica was skilled and won for them. Throughout the day though, Mike was only focused on what California and the Byers would be like. It prevented him from paying attention in class and distracted him during conversations, especially whenever Dustin brought up Suzie. But as Mike fought through the DnD campaign and said goodbye to his friends, it wasn’t El who was on his mind. 

It’s not normal. It’s not normal. It’s not normal…

On his way home, Mike stopped by the field on the outskirts of town and picked some purple and yellow flowers. At first, it was just purple, but he figured why just one color? 

Mike rode back home, clinging to the flowers over the handlebars of his bike. It was a long ride and all he had were his thoughts to keep him company. Mike thought about exactly what would happen when he walked into the airport lobby. He would hug El and give her the flowers, and then hug Will. 

Hug Will…

Did he need to hug Will? Maybe a “hi” would suffice. No- he needed to hug his best friend, it’d be weird if he didn’t. 

But it would be weird to hug him. Right?

Maybe these thoughts should pause for the moment, to avoid chaos and overwhelming stress. So, Mike rode the rest of the way home in forced silence with himself, immediately humming loudly anytime he started to think of anything. It was highly annoying for himself and anyone else on the road at 8:30 on a Friday night.

Mike woke up at 5 am the next morning to make it to the airport on time. Nancy drove him but made him go through security and check in by himself. He had some time to kill, so he bought a hat and sunglasses at the gift shop that he thought would go great with the California weather. The flight lasted about 5 hours and Mike slept through most of it. He’d put the flowers he picked in some water the night before and attached a quick note that morning reading “To El From Mike”. The bouquet sat in his lap the whole flight, was a little squished from his clenched fists, and brown around the edges from a lack of attention.

About an hour before landing, Mike woke up and started thinking again. He was becoming nervous and his stomach started to hurt. 

I’ll be fine. It’s just Will. It’s just El. Everything will be fine.

But everything was not fine. As soon as he walked into the lobby, his heart started beating faster and his stomach felt like it was in his throat. This was no condition to meet his best friend and girlfriend in, but he had to. And seeing them just made it so much worse. They looked so happy and…

Will looks…

Mike was thankful for the shades and hat covering the crimson on his cheeks. He could barely breathe, not only from nerves but shock too. Will was taller and broader, his jawline and shoulders more defined. Before Mike could get a hold of himself, El was hugging him. He snapped back to reality. He stumbled over himself trying to explain the flowers, but she started shrugging it off as soon as she looked at the note. What was that about?

Up until now, Mike had pretended not to notice Will. Which was a stupid move, but how else could he keep himself from saying something stupid? 

He panicked, realizing he hadn’t yet decided whether or not to hug Will. But Will was going for a hug. Oh god. He was going to hug Will. Mike panicked even more, offering a single arm around Will’s shoulder for less than a second. 

Oh shit. That was bad. That was really, really bad.

This had gone much worse than Mike intended.

It’s gonna be a long day.

Chapter Text

Jonathan and Argyle had driven the three of them halfway across town to get to Rink-O-Mania, which appeared to be very popular based on the number of people that were there. Mike was ( somehow ) successfully keeping his eyes off Will, no matter how many strangers he had to accidentally make eye contact with. 

Before Mike could put on his skates, El reminded him that he needed socks. Will tapped his leg to show him and as Mike turned around, he only then noticed just how close they were sitting. Their legs just barely touched. But he had to go get socks. He stopped at the counter. 

“Hey, do you guys have socks?”

“Yeah, what color ya’ want?”

“Uhm, what do you have?”

The girl sighed. She held up four different socks: bright pink, bright blue, bright orange, and bright green.

“I guess I’ll take the vomit green. Size 10.”

She turned to the back counter and started looking through the bin of socks. Mike looked back towards Will. It seemed like he and El were arguing, but why would they? They both seemed perfectly fine earlier. Unless you counted the multiple times they said different things at the same time in response to Mike’s questions. His heart told him something was off, but his brain told him to ignore it and keep going.

The employee cleared her throat and Mike turned around. He handed her the dollar in his hand and walked away without a word of thanks. An overbearing sense of doom clouded his thoughts, but he forgot it shortly after.

Mike clumsily rolled next to El, holding her hand loosely. Mike could feel Will behind them, but after a few moments, he had fallen behind. He wished he could hold Will’s hand… platonically of course.

I hope everything’s okay…

Eventually, he and El agreed to get something to eat. They exited the rink and motioned to Will who was just a few yards back. The three went into the dining area and Will volunteered to get the food. He came back with two milkshakes and some cotton candy, handing Mike and El the milkshakes and keeping the cotton candy for himself. 

“What about yours,” El pushed.

Will scrunched up his nose slightly and furrowed his eyebrows, a face Mike had known for years. 

He’s uncomfortable. But why?

“I just didn’t want one.”

“Oh. Okay.”

After a few moments of eating in silence, a few people came over to their table. El called the girl in front Angela. Where had Mike heard that name? In one of her letters, probably. 

A friend, right?  

Will still looked nervous, maybe just lingering feelings from before. El did too… though she never was one for social situations. They pulled El away from the table and all Mike could do was ignore the thoughts and feelings that said something was wrong. These were El’s friends. He sipped more of his milkshake, but then Will stood up. 

“Oh no.”

“What?” What did everyone but him know? Why were El and Will so nervous? Why were they arguing earlier and what was making Will so uncomfortable that he needed to distance himself from Mike?

Before he knew it, Will started talking about El having trouble and problems here… at Rink-O-Mania? She seemed fine skating earlier. Why didn’t they tell Mike anything?

“What kind of problems?”

Then, the music stopped and everything went South. El got a milkshake thrown on her and hid. Then he and Will got into a fight like they always do. It was almost identical to the one they’d had that summer. Mike’s thoughts swirled in his head again, making it harder for him to be nice. Will blamed him for not calling enough, but with Ms. Byers on the phone 24/7, how could he? He’d tried. He really did. So maybe it was Will’s fault! He knew when his mom was off the phone, so he should’ve taken the chance and called. And on top of that, he was quiet and visibly upset all day and Mike didn’t know why. He wanted to be there for Will. He wanted to make sure he was okay. But Mike’s never been good with words and all his feelings just came out… wrong. 

“And us?”

“We’re friends. We’re friends.”

Something within Mike told him this wasn’t true. That they were either closer, or further than that. Definitely not friends.

“Well, we used to be best friends.”

“Well then maybe you should’ve reached out more. I don’t know. But why is this on me? Why… why am I the bad guy?”

Anything he said sounded rude and condescending; he was blaming everything on Will. That just wasn’t true. Why was he saying those things?! No matter how hard he tried, he just kept talking and before he knew it, they were back in the rain. Will, ready to leave, and Mike blaming him for not sticking around.

But then it got worse. It all happened so fast, Mike didn’t know how to think. He was scared, shocked, and confused most of all. 

The trio sat in silence in the back seat of the Pizza Boy van. Mike was in between Will and El, which he deeply regretted as soon as the door closed. Jonathan and Argyle were obviously high and definitely shouldn’t have been driving, but there was nobody else willing to drive them home. Mike had stared straight ahead for most of the ride, but then he dared to glance at Will. He was looking out the window, clearly upset. Mike wanted to comfort him, but it was not the time or place, or person . 

The group walked into the house and saw… Murray… wearing one of Ms. Byers’ aprons and cooking. 

Oh god.

Murray’s story was a little suspicious, and it made Mike wonder if there was something else going on. But he had enough on his mind, so he blocked out most of the conversation. He overheard Argyle say that Angela would be fine and it caught his attention. Obviously, she wasn’t fine, her face was cracked open. Mike didn’t want to start another fight, but he couldn’t stop himself. 

“She didn’t look fine.”

That was a stupid thing to say and he realized it right after he said it. El threw her napkin onto the table and went into her room. Mike didn’t look up, but he felt the energy in the room change. Will sighed and put his head in his hands. Ms. Byers was confused, Murray alarmed, and Jonathan and Argyle were… well, still high. 

Hopeless.

The next morning, Mike decided to make El some eggos as a segway into an apology. He really didn’t know what to apologize for, but definitely, something, considering how upset she had been. Mike and Will sat down at the table together, expecting El to come down eventually, but she hadn’t. Mike could feel Will staring at the side of his face as he silently watched the eggos cool off and the syrup start to crystalize. He decided to just get up and bring her the breakfast he made if she wasn’t going to come get it herself. Maybe she was still asleep or just didn’t want to come out of her room. 

The door was open slightly, so Mike knocked, but he walked in when there was no response. All he wanted to do was give El breakfast and make things right. 

Mike decided to take a leap and just bring it up. But he must have said something wrong because they ended up fighting. Apparently, El did care that he always wrote “From, Mike” instead of “Love, Mike”. He didn’t understand what the big deal was. 

“I care for you so much.”

“Care. But you don’t love me anymore?”

Of course, he loved her. That’s what these feelings were right?

“Who said that I didn’t?”

Was he too obvious about the strange way he’d felt? How something inside him wasn’t quite the same as it had been in the Hawkins Middle cafeteria many years ago? But El was making a point. Mike never had written or said the word “love” to her. He’d written it many times for Will, and said it indirectly. But that was different, it was Will! 

What’s the difference…?

The doorbell rang. Both Mike and El looked back at each other with confused and concerned looks. They slowly went down the stairs, listening to the back and forth between Jonathan and an unknown voice. El entered the room cautiously.

“Hey there. Are you Jane Hopper?”

Mike watched her eyes as she was cuffed, taken to the police car, and driven away. The look she gave was subtle and would be difficult to read for anyone else, but he understood. Mike knew that their fight wasn’t technically over, even if things were going sideways. He still hadn’t said “I love you” and El was even more convinced now that she was a monster.

The three made it back to the Byers’ home and government officials were waiting for them. They explained everything that was happening in Hawkins, what was going to happen to El, and Mike couldn't grasp all the information. He just couldn’t understand anything anymore. What was going on with him, with El, with Will? None of it made sense. 

The lady speaking handed him an envelope labeled Mike. He ran up the stairs and slammed the door and sat down on El’s bed. In messy handwriting, it said

Dear Mike,

I have gone to become a superhero again.

From, El

Superhero. From. El. 

Mike’s thoughts were racing once more. He stared and stared at the note, hoping he was reading it wrong or missing something in between the words. But nothing. Mike felt nothing. He was hopeless.

Chapter Text

Bang. Bang.

Will was throwing his rubber band ball against the wall of his room in the middle of pacing. He was going on and on about how this was all bullshit and something else, but Mike wasn’t listening. His eyes were focused on the note in front of him. 

“Yeah,” he replied when Will paused. 

“If you keep staring at that, it’s not gonna change. You know?”

Mike looked up at him for the first time in ten minutes. Will looked worried and upset. He must’ve really cared about El. 

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”

Mike crumpled the paper and threw it in the can by Jonathan’s desk. He sighed. He’d been thinking too long and hard about the words when they could mean anything. Obviously, El was fine and they would get out of this. He’d go back to normal. Well, as normal as he could be without the Byers again. 

Will say down next to him. Mike was a little alarmed at how close they were to each other, but there wasn’t much space on the bed, that was all. Their knees touched, but neither of them shifted or scooted over. 

Mike started talking about the fight he and El had, how it felt permanent and damaging. He remembered the way she looked at him from the police car, it was painful. They wouldn’t ever be the same and it was clear to him.

“No. Look, Mike, you’re gonna see her again, and whatever you didn’t say, you can say it to her then. Okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah.”

He smiled. Will always knew what to say, how to say it. It was comforting knowing that he was with him again, especially after their fight at Rink O’ Mania. 

“That was you guys who saved me. That was you guys.” 

Will’s face was cast in shadow, but Mike could see the glimmer of hope and pride in his eyes. He smiled and looked away.

“Looks like it’s gonna be up to us again.”

He turned back to Will. He was smiling too.

“It always is, isn't it?”

Mike laughed but didn’t turn away this time. Maybe he and Will were really getting better. They could be back to how they were in middle school in no time. Easy breezy. 

“Which is why we can’t stay here.”

Jonathan’s voice broke the moment. Why was he always there, just when things were going so well with Will?! 

Then they began to hatch their plan.

Mike stuffed his clothes from the day before into his bag and gathered his essentials. Toothbrush, comb, sunglasses, and hat from the gift shop. He opened Will’s door to find him kneeling beside his dresser, throwing clothes into an old backpack. Mike sat down on his bed. When did Will get so tall? He was at the same height kneeling that Mike was sitting. He stared at the back of Will’s head as he packed to avoid staring anywhere else; his defined shoulders, strong legs…

No. What? No. Nope. He has normal shoulders and normal legs. Why am I even looking at his body?! Look at his face, that’s normal. 

Mike decided to strike up a conversation to take his mind off of… everything.

“Thanks by the way.”

“For what?”

“For knocking some sense into me. I was being a total self-pitying idiot,” Mike smiled.

“I didn’t say it.” Will shrugged and laughed. Mike missed that. He’d done it all the time when they were kids and it slowly went away over the years, as if he was preventing himself. 

“You didn’t have to.”

Will’s eyes shined and seemed to wander away from Mike’s face before he turned.

He’s probably just thinking and distracted. That didn’t mean anything. Nothing at all.

Mike didn’t want to bring it up, but the days before had been weird and he felt as if he owed Will an apology for being stupid.

“Hey, also, about the last few days-”

“You don’t have to say anything. I… I was being a total jerk to El. I deserved it.”

He was repeating the things Mike had said during the fight. He’d done some damage, hadn’t he?

Stupid. I’m so stupid.

“No! No, no, no. You didn’t deserve anything.”

Will turned around. Good. Mike wanted him to hear everything he was saying because it was just how he felt. He was going to say how he felt, even if he didn’t fully understand it.

“Listen, the truth is, the last year has been weird, you know? And I mean, you know, Max and Lucas and Dustin, they’re… they’re great. They’re great. It’s just… It’s Hawkins. It’s not the same without you. And I feel like maybe I was worrying too much about El, and I don’t know, maybe I feel like I lost you or something. Does that make sense?”

Will nodded at him, almost teary eyed and Mike felt like he was actually saying the right things for once. Mike looked down and anywhere he could, he couldn’t bear seeing Will cry, even if it was good tears.

“I have no idea what’s gonna happen next. But, whatever it is, I… I think we should work together. I think it’ll be easier if we’re… we’re a team.”

Will nodded, urging Mike to continue. He could tell he was doing something right. 

“Friends. Best friends.”

Mike looked Will up and down since they were fully facing each other at this point. The bag abandoned on the floor and the drawers standing open. His eyes glowed bright green in the light from the window and tears dared not to fall onto his cheeks. 

“Cool.”

“Cool.”

They stared at each other, neither wanting to break the moment. But then they heard the screech of tires. Argyle must have been speeding to get there that fast. Jonathan burst in. A knock would’ve been nice. Or at least an “I’m coming in,” but no. He scurried around the room double-checking they had everything they needed. Mike watched him as he muttered to himself looking everywhere in the room. He saw Will stick something in his bag out of the corner of his eye. They got prepared to climb out the window when they heard the doorbell ring. Jonathan pulled the curtains further back and set his bags down. They heard the door open and then a gunshot and crash. Jonathan ran out of the room, warning them to stay put.

Mike and Will turned to each other. They were both scared and the other knew it. They cautiously walked to the doorway and the shooting got louder. Will grabbed Mike’s arm. 

Oh. This is fine. He’s just scared, it doesn’t mean anything. This is normal.

Jonathan ran back into the room and before he could explain anything, the window shattered next to them. They ran into the den, narrowly avoiding flying bullets. The government guy seemed to know what he was doing, so they followed quickly behind, holding onto each other for moral and physical support. 

No matter what corner they turned, or what wall they hid behind, Will kept holding on to Mike’s arm or hand. Jonathan constantly held his arms out in front of them or threw himself on top of them to protect the boys. There was glass shattering, bullets flying, and bodies falling everywhere. Will seemed more scared than Mike, but Mike was more cautious. They ran out the back door and around the side of the house, tripping with almost every step. But Jonathan pushed them back up every single time and urged them forward. Mike and Will noticed the government man stumbling behind and they went back to help him get to Argyle’s van which was miraculously timed. 

As the van sped down empty roads, Mike, Will, and Jonathan tried to keep the man from bleeding out. 

“The girl. She… she’s in danger.”

Mike held onto every word he said. Why was El in danger? Why were people shooting at them? What was going on? Will and Jonathan seemed just as confused and concerned. They frantically looked around for paper, magazines, napkins, anything for this man to write the number for a woman named Nina. But soon, he closed his eyes and Mike realized with fleeting terror that he was dead. They would never be able to save El now. Mike slouched against the back of the van seat. 

I can’t be there for her. Does she even need me? If she went to get her powers back, she won’t need me anymore. She’s not a machine, or a baby, she doesn’t need to be taken care of. And she won’t need me anymore.

They drove to the junkyard and began to bury the body. Argyle was no help, still freaked out over the fact that a man had just died in the back of his van. And to top it all off, they had told him about everything; the Upside Down, El’s powers, and bad government officials. But the other three had seen it too many times to count, so it didn’t phase them. 

“They’re gonna kill her. And if they kill her, they’re gonna kill us! Actually, they might kill us before they kill her. I dunno, man.”

Jonathan and Argyle continued screaming at each other, but Mike couldn’t listen. He started thinking, which was one of the worst things for him to do. El was in trouble and might die, and they might die before they could get to her. Was there any use in trying to save her at this point? Mike looked up to find Will watching him. He seemed concerned and upset towards Mike, towards the situation, everything. It was hard to tell. Mike looked down and back up at Will multiple times within a second, almost scared to drop his gaze. He started shoveling the dirt back into the makeshift grave before he could be distracted by Will’s eyes. 

What? Just my best friend’s eyes. In the bright sun. Why are they distracting? It’s nothing. 

They finished with the grave and decided to take a break. Argyle had some extra sodas in the van, so they took full advantage. Mike and Will climbed on top of a junk car and drank their sodas. Will knew something was going on in Mike’s head, and that meant a conversation was coming. So Mike mentally prepared himself to be therapized.

“I should’ve explained myself. Maybe Eleven would’ve taken me with her and things would be different, but… I didn’t… I didn’t know what to say.”

“Sometimes I think it’s just scary to open up like that. To say how you really feel. Especially to people you care about the most. Because what if… what if they don’t like the truth?”

What did that mean? Was there something Will felt that he didn’t want to tell anyone? He looked down and back up at Mike, almost looking for a response. But Mike didn’t know what kind. He opened his mouth as if to tell Will everything, but there was always an interruption. Argyle was just doing his thing. 

Then Mike realized, Unknown Hero Agent Man’s pen didn’t work, but why? He walked over and took apart the pen. The number for Nina fell out. 

They drove for miles until they finally spotted a phone booth in the middle of nowhere. As soon as they dialed the number, Mike knew something was wrong. 

“Busy?”

The phone definitely wasn’t busy. He knew that sound by heart, considering he’d heard it every time he’d tried calling Will over the year. Mike held up the phone to Will, expecting him to take it from him, but instead, he layed his hand over Mike’s, their fingers resting on top of each other. Mike’s breath caught slightly, but he made sure neither Byers heard it. 

Calm down. We’ve literally held hands before, this is nothing. So stupid. 

He distracted himself by thinking of a plan.

If Nina is a computer, we can track it, but we need someone who can do that. A hacker. Suzie! She hacked into the school system for Dustin, why not hack into Nina for his friends?! She lives in Salt Lake City, so we’ll need to get there as soon as possible. 

Will started singing “The Neverending Story,” which to be honest was a little cheesy, but also a little cute.

Cute? No. Stop. That’s not normal. Off the rails. Too far. He’s my best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. But more could be nice? Nope. Not the time. Stop it, brain . Now let’s get to Suzie quick.

Chapter Text

The drive to Suzie’s house was long and agonizing. The van smelled of old pizza, weed, and sweat, and those did not go together. Mike kept his hand over his mouth for most of the trip to prevent himself from gagging. The only reason he hadn't noticed the smell before, was because he was focused on a dying man and finding a phone to call Nina. 

Mike kept his eyes on the road and open landscapes around them, avoiding eye contact with Will at all costs. He just knew that if he caught a glimpse of his eyes or the smirk Will had whenever Mike cracked a dumb joke, he would burst into flames. 

Not soon enough, they had reached Suzie’s large home on the edge of Utah. Mike knocked on the front door and was immediately met with a suction arrow to the face, a great addition to his already frustrating week. They ran up the stairs, seeing and interacting with many of Suzie’s strange siblings. They found her on the roof messing with what seemed to be a compact version of Cerebro. 

The group had executed a story in the van that didn’t expose the Upside Down and was a good enough explanation for Nina. They retrieved the location of the computer, and all the while Mike couldn’t stop glancing at Will. The side of his face, the back of his shoulders…

What am I doing? This isn’t normal. Plus, he definitely doesn’t feel anything more than friendship toward me. But why do I care? Do I feel more than friendship?

They returned to the van with the new information and set out for somewhere in Nevada. Jonathan was falling asleep at the wheel and Argyle was still as high as ever, but Mike and Will sat side by side in the back seat, wide awake.

Will had started talking about his dreams of Vegas riches and playing Nintendo for the rest of their lives. Mike couldn’t help but notice how the sun shone behind him and complimented his bright smile and green eyes, but he was still worried. Worried about his feelings for Will and if El was okay. He turned away. 

“We’re gonna make it, Mike. She’s gonna be okay.”

“Yeah, I know. I… I know she is. But… But what if after all this is over, she sh… she doesn’t need me anymore?”

Mike felt a deeper meaning behind his words. He knew El had never really needed him. He was just in the right place at the right time. She was powerful enough to be on her own. Hell, she’d escaped a guarded prison at 11 years old. There was no way she needed Michael Wheeler. But maybe he was something to her. Maybe he’d been good enough.

“No, o-of course she’ll still need you. She’ll always need you, Mike.”

“I keep telling myself that, but I… I don’t believe it. I mean, she’s special. She was born special. Maybe I was one of the first people to realize that. But the truth is, when I stumbled on her in the woods, she just needed someone. It’s not fate. It’s… It’s not destiny. It’s just simple dumb luck. And one day she’s gonna realize I’m just some random nerd that got lucky that Superman landed on his doorstep. I mean, at least Lois Lane is an ace reporter for the Daily Planet , right? But…”

Mike suddenly realized just how long he’d been talking. Then he reviewed everything he said. Almost all of it was true, he‘d just left certain details out. 

“Sorry,” Mike blurted.

“No.”

“No, i-it’s so stupid given everything that’s going on. It’s just… I don’t know… Uh…”

Mike had so much on his mind. He was focused on his best friend while people in Hawkins were dying and El was in trouble.

“You’re scared of losing her,” Will suggested.

Mike looked over at Will, face focused on his own. He was hunched over with his hands on his legs like he had been listening intently to all the stupid shit Mike said. 

“Can I show you something?”

Mike quickly nodded and swallowed, forcing himself to calm down. 

His hands. He still has the watch. What’s he gonna show me? Why does he look nervous?

Will pulled out a large scroll the size of a poster. Hadn’t he been carrying the same one at the airport? Mike wasn’t sure. At the time he’d been too anxious about hugging Will, and now how close they were. 

Mike carefully unrolled the parchment to find a beautiful painting with a bright red hydra and the party fighting it off. He smiled for the first time in days. 

“This is amazing! Did you paint this?” Mike couldn’t believe that Will had made this for him! Maybe Will did feel different too.

“Yeah! I mean… I mean, El asked me to. She commissioned it basically…” 

Mike’s face dropped. He’d thought that Will made it specially for him, but it was El’s idea.

Why is that bad?

“Anyway, my point is… see how you’re leading us here?”

Will pointed to the knight closest to the dragon. This drew Mike’s attention back to his hands. Strong with calloused fingers from pencils and paintbrushes, he presumed.

“You’re guiding the whole party, inspiring us. And see your coat of arms? It’s a heart. And I know it’s sort of on the nose, but- but that’s what holds this party together. Heart.”

He looked up at the roof of the van and Mike followed his face. The light from the setting sun still bounced off of his bright green eyes. 

“Without heart, we’d all fall apart. Even El. Especially El.” 

Mike noticed that Will seemed to know what he was talking about. Maybe most of the painting was Will’s idea and El had just suggested it. Mike glanced back down at the painting to admire the artwork again.

“These past few months, she’s been so lost without you. She’s just so different from other people. And when… when you’re… when you’re different, sometimes… you feel like a mistake. But you make her feel like she’s not a mistake at all. Like she’s better for being different. And that gives her the courage to fight on.”

Mike could see pain and tears in Will’s eyes. He knew something was wrong with what he was saying. It was too good. It was exactly the words that should make Mike feel better, but he just didn’t. Something felt off. He didn’t tear his gaze away for one second, scared he would miss something, anything.

“If she was mean to you or she seemed like she was pushing you away, it’s probably because she’s scared of losing you like you’re scared of losing her. And if she was going to lose you, I… I think she’d rather just get it over with quick. Like ripping off a bandaid.”

The nagging feeling was back in Mike’s stomach. This was definitely Will talking, there was no way that El felt like that, especially from the way everything had happened in the last few days. At one point it seemed like Will was talking about himself. 

I… I think she’d rather just get it over with quick. I think. I.

“So, yeah. El needs you, Mike. And she always will.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Mike could still hear the pain and fear in Will’s voice, but what he didn’t understand was why. Why was Will on the verge of tears talking about El’s supposed feelings? It was alarming thinking that Will could be talking about himself. But what could it all mean? 

Mike spent an hour trying to gather his thoughts about Will, his words, and El. It was all a swirling mess of confusion and emotion: the anger he felt at himself for feeling differently about Will and El, the worry he’d done something wrong again. None of it made sense. His stomach churned, mostly from the smell in the van, but also from anxiety and confusion. 

Eventually, Jonathan pulled them over in the middle of the desert to complain about being lost. Suzie was a genius, why would she give them the wrong coordinates?! They argued over the fact that they were in the right place, but with no signs of civilization other than the long road ahead of them. Argyle called the three over and showed them tire tracks. Big ones, military. It must have had something to do with El. What else would the government be doing in the Nevada desert? 

The van sped down the road looking for something, anything that could point them in the right direction. Five minutes later, they heard a helicopter and large trucks. Mike turned to Will and then at Jonathan’s reflection in the rearview mirror. The same look of knowing crossed all of their faces, except for Argyle. El was definitely in trouble and they might have to do some fighting or running once they got to her.

Up ahead, a helicopter came into view, and eventually many bodies littered the ground. Uh oh. They scanned the horizon until they spotted her amongst the wreckage. 

“There she is! There she is!”

El had stood up and the helicopter started spinning out of control. It spun quicker by the second until it smashed into the sand and dirt, exploding in a wave of red light. The van drifted to a stop six feet from Eleven. The dust from the tires hadn’t even settled when the group flung themselves out of the pizza-themed, weed-smelling hotbox. 

Mike was the first to get to her. He had been thinking and rethinking everything from their fight, to what Will had said. He hugged her tightly, putting in all the stress of losing one of his best friends. His girlfriend. 

Oh, right. 

Their foreheads pressed together, Mike purposefully kept the bottom half of his face further than the rest. He helped her to her feet and guided her toward where Will was standing. He looked on the verge of tears again. This time, they seemed to come from relief and happiness. Mike watched as they hugged intently. It was strange for him to see the girl he was supposed to love and the person he really loved, hugging. Then El’s collar shut off. She looked over towards another body lying in the dirt, bloodied, but better off than the others among it. Mike took a closer look; it was Dr. Brenner, Papa as El had called him. They watched as she approached and exchanged unheard words with the man. Eleven stood up triumphantly and walked back towards the group. They rushed back into the van and set out for somewhere, they weren’t sure yet. Preferably somewhere that El could help save the world from whatever was killing in Hawkins, whatever the rest of their friends had been dealing with the past week.

They reached a gas station where they filled the van’s tank with some money from Argyle’s stash under the backseat. They had over 2,000 miles between them and Hawkins and needed to be there immediately. It simply wasn’t possible. They had called many airlines and travel companies trying to form some sort of plan. 

Mike had been avoiding eye contact with both Will and El, because those things were still on his mind, no matter how awful their situation. Will felt indifferent towards him and El just wanted him to say three words. Mike didn’t care for either of these topics, but it was all that he could think about to distract himself from the impending doom of reality. He could swear that whenever El was around, Will was at least six inches further away from Mike than he normally would be. But if she ever turned around or walked off, Will was right back in his usual spot, right next to Mike, hands, and shoulders dangerously close to each other. 

El returned and informed them that she could reach Max from California, through her mind. Mike turned to his left only to find Jonathan looking back at him instead of Will. Similar, but very different from what he was expecting to see. They arrived at the Surfer Boy Pizza restaurant and began to unfold the plan. 

Mike had a feeling that he needed to get his thoughts in order before anything substantial happened. As he helped fill the freezer with water and gather pieces for El’s blind he thought about how exactly he felt towards her. He knew it wasn’t pure, romantic love. But he did still care, a lot. But he felt more than that towards Will, so maybe that wasn’t how best friends were supposed to feel. Mike pondered that he did love someone, Will. 

No. He doesn’t feel the same way, and why would he? It’s wrong.

He would have to wait and see.

Chapter Text

Mike was finishing up taping old pieces of cardboard over the pair of sunglasses he’d bought from the airport gift shop. El was watching him and she’d looked sad the whole time. He wanted to cheer her up. Mike put on the self-made blindfold.

“Do I look cool?”

She laughed. Goal accomplished, but that didn’t mean she was necessarily happy. He had to keep going. 

“I feel like I look really cool. Are you giggling? You’re giggling because I look awesome. I can’t see it, but I know you’re smiling because I look so good. Right?”

He felt her hands touch his. They were warm and soft, but it felt wrong.

“Mike.”

“Yeah?”

He put the glasses down and surrendered both hands to her, ready for whatever words she would say next.

“I… missed you.”

Oh.

Mike sighed. Whether of relief or disappointment, he wasn’t sure. But maybe he could rock the boat; bring up the topic and stay on it for once.

“Yeah. Yeah, I missed you too. You know, the last few days, I… I’ve had to think about the last talk we had. You know, before the cops and… the whole world went to shit and everything? I… I guess… I just… I dunno. I guess I just wanted to say that—”

He was cut off by a tray being dropped in between the two of them. 

Apparently, the whole time Mike and the Byers boys were working on the bath, Argyle had been making a pizza. A pizza… with pineapple on it. 

Disgusting.

“Surfs up, Romeo.”

Argyle and El had grabbed a slice of the pizza and his face, trying their best to get him to eat it. They kept yelling “try before you deny” like it would change his opinion on the matter. He screamed in protest but eventually lost the fight. He took a bite of the pizza, which was surprisingly good. 

“No, you’re right. It’s good.”

Now that Argyle was here, he couldn’t resume the conversation, but maybe for the better. El was already upset and he didn’t want to do any more damage. 

Argyle had started eating the rest of the pizza as fast as he could. Then Jonathan came in. The bath was ready. Will’s eyes and cheeks were bright crimson. Had he been crying? Or it could just be from the salt or heat. Something like that, right?

El stripped off her extra blue layers and entered the bath, giving an account of everything she saw. 

The four boys kneeled around the bath, Argyle and Jonathan opposite Mike and Will, whose elbows knocked into each other. They were far closer together than the other two.

Probably just a coincidence. He probably kneeled too close but didn’t want me to feel weird if he moved over. 

They watched in silence as El floated in front of them, lights flickering all around. They didn’t know for sure what was happening; any time she started talking, Mike turned to Will who seemed equally concerned and confused. 

Fifteen minutes passed and El had mostly been quiet. Then, the lights started blinking faster and faster; El started shaking and breathing heavily. 

“She’s fighting him.”

More time passed, lights still pulsing. Then, she started choking, gasping for air. Mike grabbed her hand.

“El, can you hear me? El, come on. Wake up! Wake up, El! Wake up! El!”

“She can’t breathe.”

“El, get out of there! God, El! Wake up! Wake up!”

They pulled her out of the bath and laid her on a rolling countertop. She was still struggling to breathe, all the while Mike still called for her.

“Mike.” 

He turned around, and Will was right next to him on the verge of tears. 

“Don’t stop, okay? You’re the heart. Okay, remember that. You’re the heart.”

Mike knew what he had to do. He had to get El back, no matter the cost. If he had to lie, so be it. He just needed to tell her what she needed to hear to survive. It was all with good intentions, who cared if it was all bullshit?

“El? I don’t know if you can hear this, but… but if you can, I want you to know I’m here, okay? I’m right here. And… I love you. El, do you hear me?  I love you.  I’m sorry I don’t say it more. It… It’s not because I’m scared of you. I’m not. I’ve never felt that way. Never.” 

At least that part was true, Mike hadn’t ever been scared of her. He knew the power she held and what she could do, but he was scared of just that. The power. He could still feel Will’s hand on his shoulder, encouraging him to continue. Mike had to continue. He had to keep her alive, even if the words he said weren’t true. Even if they weren’t meant for her.

“But I am scared that one day you’ll realize you don’t need me anymore. And I thought if I said how I felt, it would somehow make that day… hurt more. But the truth is, El, I don’t know how to live without you. I feel like my life started that day we found you in the woods.”

That day, Mike had been freaking out. He never realized how much of an impact Will had made on him until the day he was gone. It made him feel empty and he finally realized that he needed Will. But right now, this was about El. He needed to save El. 

“You were wearing that yellow Benny’s Burgers T-shirt. And it was so big, it almost swallowed you whole. And I knew right then and there, in that moment, that I loved you. And I’ve loved you every day since. I love you on your good days. I love you on your bad days. I love you with your powers, I love you without your powers. I love you for exactly who you are. You’re my superhero. And… I can’t lose you. You can do anything. You can fly. You can move mountains. I believe that. I really do. But right now, you just have to fight. Okay? You have to fight. Fight!”

Her breathing became heavier as the lights started to flicker once more. 

“Fight!”

Mike was now crying, stressed from almost losing El, saying all those things that weren’t true. Lying to the person he cared about. 

El’s breathing was slow and calm, but she kept her eyes shut and the lights were still pulsing. They could see her eyes darting back and forth beneath her eyelids. What was going on? She kept muttering the word “no” under her breath. It worried them. 

She jolted upright, eyes filled with tears, and wrapped her arms around Mike’s neck. He stood still for a second, not knowing what to do, but hugged her back. His returned hug was less comforting and more awkward than he had hoped it to be. El slowly pulled away, eyeing his face with concern and confusion, but she didn’t say a word. El slid off the table and grabbed her extra clothes. 

“We have to go to Hawkins now. Right now.”

They quickly locked up and left the Pizza Boy shop and headed out to the van. Will sat behind Jonathan and Mike and El sat in the very back, leaving a space between them. None of them tried or wanted to address anything from the past week. 

Jonathan warned that it would take a while to get there and that they should stop halfway to eat and rest. El fought against it, urging that they needed to get there as soon as possible. But Jonathan had a good point; Argyle was the only one who had slept in the past twenty-four hours and he was not in a good enough condition to drive. 

The radio played senseless love and rock songs from unknown bands in the van that — despite them leaving the windows open while they were in the restaurant — still smelled of stale pizza and weed. Ten minutes into the ride, Jonathan opened his window, blowing dusty, hot California air at everyone inside. Without a word, they collectively decided they’d rather endure the smell than the humid wind. 

After getting food and more gas, Argyle’s stash only had enough money for two motel rooms. Argyle and Jonathan took one room and Mike, Will, and El took the other.

Mike took the room key from Jonathan, it read  102  on a brown tag. The three of them walked up the stairs, silent all the way to the room. As soon as Mike opened the door, he felt his stomach drop. There were two double beds, meaning he would have to sleep with either El or Will.

El or Will? Definitely Will. Wait, no. But… I can’t with El, not after—

While Mike was lost in thought, Will checked for bedbugs. Then, he and El both sat on the same bed. It looked like Mike was going to be sleeping alone for once. He watched them, Will’s head hung loosely as he stared at a random spot ahead of him; El laid back with her hands over her face. 

Mike felt awkward standing in the center of the room, staring at his girlfriend and best friend. But Mike had left his bag at the Byers’ house, so he forced himself to ask for some pajamas from Will, and went to take a shower, giving them some time away from him.

Mike scrubbed at the dirt on his hands and arms, the traces of blood under his fingernails. He stood for ten minutes with his head in his hands, drinking in every drop of the cold water that practically leaked from the too-short shower head. 

Mike wondered when things had started going wrong. Maybe it was when he refused to say “I love you” to El. Or when he ignored Will for half the Summer. Or maybe it was when he first kissed El in the Hawkins Middle cafeteria. How had he let himself get this far? He called El for almost a year and realized after that he didn’t actually love her. Then, he blamed Will for things he’d done himself. Michael Wheeler was a dumbass.

He got out of the shower and could hear low murmurs coming from the bedroom. Mike’s curiosity got the better of him as he strained his ears to listen. 

“I don’t know. He’s been nicer and I think he feels bad about it. So, yeah, I guess so.”

“You are best friends again?”

“Yeah.”

Mike pulled on his t-shirt and a pair of borrowed pajama pants from Will. They were slightly too short, but it was better than wearing dirty jeans to bed. Mike opened the door and stepped out, Will patted El’s shoulder before making his way to the bathroom. Mike could tell that she wanted to say something to him, but in the twenty minutes that Will was gone, neither of them spoke. Occasionally, one glanced across the room at the other, but both mainly stared at the ceiling or wall.

El stood up as soon as Will came out; they exchanged a look Mike couldn’t decipher and quickly swapped places. Will was wearing a pair of blue shorts that barely peaked out from under an old band t-shirt. His hair was sleek and dark at the ends, pushed to the sides and dripping onto his shoulders. Mike stared for a moment, but Will soon caught his eye. He looked at the floor, then glanced back up at Will who was still watching him.

They heard the water turn back on. If Mike hadn’t heard Will and her talking, no doubt El wouldn’t be able to hear them too. 

“Hey,” Mike forced. His voice was croaky from disuse and he sounded like a frog.

Frog face wants to join his boyfriend in Fairyland… all happy and gay.

“Hey.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know. I mean I know I apologized already but I- I said some pretty shitty stuff this week. Actually not even just this week, all last Summer too.”

“Mike… it’s okay. Really. I’m fine, I promise.”

“Are you sure? Cause I kinda heard you and El talking a little while ago…”

He saw Will’s face drop. What had they been talking about? 

“Not much, but I could tell you were upset. And it’s probably my fault because it almost always is-”

“No, Mike, it’s not your fault. I swear. I just… it’s my fault for thinking differently.”

What could that mean? Mike traced the back of his mind, looking for what Will could be talking about.

We could just play D&D and Nintendo for the rest of our lives.

“Oh. Will, you don’t have to worry about that. We can still play D&D. Eventually… eventually, all of this Upside Down stuff will blow over and we can live normally again. I know it.”

Will still looked unconvinced and upset. Maybe that wasn’t what he was referring to. Something else was wrong and Mike wanted to get to the bottom of it.

“What is it, Will?”

“What do you mean?”

“What else is wrong? I mean… what’s bothering you? What did you think differently about?”

“It’s nothing, Mike. Let’s just try to go to sleep okay?”

“No, Will, I want to know. I don’t want you to feel bad especially if it’s something I did o-or said! I feel like I did something wrong but I don’t know what. And I know you were upset when you gave me your painting, bu- but I still don’t know why!”

Will turned to him completely. He looked scared, shocked, and uncomfortable. His face resembled the way he had looked in the van like he wanted to run away. The shower shut off and Will turned to the door, but Mike kept his eyes on his face. 

“Nothing’s… wrong, Mike. Can we please just go to bed?”

“Why won’t you tell me? I’ll understand! Crazy together, remember?”

“I remember. But I don’t want to talk about it, okay? Not now, but not never.”

“But, Will.”

“No, Mike. Let’s just go to sleep. Please. We can talk about it when Hawkins isn’t in danger.”

“Which will be soon.”

“Whatever.”

“Will.”

Will ignored his final call and slipped under the sheets on the side farthest from Mike. El came out of the bathroom and Mike knew that she had heard at least some of that. He sighed heavily and flopped onto his back, arms spread like he was falling. 

Mike remembered when he had jumped off of the cliff at the quarry to save Dustin’s teeth. Where was that Mike? But there was more in his mind that day than he first realized. He’d still thought Will was dead and he’d lost all hope for the future. So he’d jumped off a cliff for his friends, just like every adult had told him not to.

Mike fell asleep shortly after, dreaming of nothing. He had so much on his mind that even his subconscious couldn’t make sense of it all. At 7:00 in the morning, Argyle banged on the room door, yelling at them to wake up. Mike could make out Jonathan’s voice from farther away telling him to be quiet. He, Will, and El all took turns changing in the bathroom and stepped out into the still-dark outdoors. 

The van ride back took another day, but they’d driven through the night without the money or time to stop. Argyle had slept off his high and was able to take Jonathan’s place at the wheel when he started to doze off. The radio played the same music as the day before and nobody spoke unless they were trying to cheer everyone up with a joke. 

Time blended in Mike’s memory and vision; they had reached Hawkins at 10:00 am. The town looked like a living hell, with buildings torn apart by gaping gates in the ground. Police and government surrounded the library that collapsed where the four gates met. The van slowly pulled into a culdesac, homes abandoned and cars gone, where they reached the Wheeler household. They could see people in the driveway packing cars with boxes. The group turned towards the pizza van as it pulled up. 

They stepped out one at a time, Argyle, Mike, Will, Jonathan, then El. Everyone seemed to be staring at them with shock and joy. 

Both groups ran towards each other, different people meeting for hugs. Mike hugged his mom first. 

“You are never going on vacation again. In fact, you can forget about college. You are staying right here.”

Mike could hear the worry and love through her sarcastic words. It made him smile, knowing that she still held that motherly love no matter how much of a pain in the ass he was.

Soon, they gathered word that Max was in a coma. Nancy drove Mike, Will, El, and Dustin to the hospital. Now that El’s hair was shaved again she had to be more careful with who saw her. She pulled on one of Nancy’s old hoodies and hid between Will and Dustin while going through the lobby. 

The four mentally prepared themselves before Mike opened the door to Max’s room.

“Oh my god. We’ve been calling you like crazy.”

Lucas came and hugged him and Will, then El. She whispered something to him before turning to the bed. The three of them walked over and El rested her head on Mike’s shoulder. He secretly wished it had been Will who’d done so, but he put his arm around her just the same. Luckily for Mike, she picked her head up to speak.

“Do they know… when she will wake?”

“No. They say she might not. Her heart stopped. For over a minute. She died. I- I mean clinically… but then she came back. The doctors don’t know how. They say it’s a miracle.”

Mike and Will turned to each other at once. This definitely had something to do with El. Why else would she have taken that extra time in the void? They both looked at her for an explanation or even just a facial expression, but nothing happened. She sat on the bed and put her hand in Max’s. 

“I’m here, Max.”

They watched expectantly for twenty minutes, but El returned to reality with just tear stains and blood dripping from her nose. There was no point. They had to face the truth, Max was gone, possibly forever. And so were Mike’s romantic feelings for El.

Chapter Text

The group had gone back to the Wheeler house where Nancy left her car and Jonathan drove them all to Hopper’s old cabin. According to Nancy, they planned on fixing it up for the Byers to live in. 

Mike knew that losing Hopper had been hard for El. He was like a father to her. But he didn’t know how living here again would affect her; trying to sleep in the room that Hop had once yelled at them for kissing in.

They walked through the front door that was barely holding on to the hinges. The last time Mike had been there, a giant meat version of the Mind Flayer had busted a hole in the roof and almost dragged El through it. He’d forgotten they threw all the furniture around, trying to barricade the doors and windows. But Nancy did what she always did: she took charge and forced some optimism down their throats. She walked around the kitchen, opening cabinets and drawers, pulling out cleaning sprays, towels, and any other tools she could find. 

After a while of cleaning, El walked into her room with purpose and closed the door, leaving a slight gap like she always did. 

“Did she… talk to you at all?”

“Not much. I mean, a little bit.” Mike sighed. He knew El was upset at herself that she couldn’t save Max, that she couldn’t stop One. She always did things on her own, for herself. And now that she couldn’t, it broke her.

“Dr. Brenner. He says that she wasn’t ready. And now she’s starting to think he’s right.”

Mike and Will sat down on the flipped-over couch. The sunlight shined through a broken window behind them. Mike observed how it illuminated Will’s face and eyes. He sat with his hands over his crossed ankles and shoulders slumped. Mike always admired how Will could look effortlessly perfect.

“That’s crap. If it wasn’t for her, if she hadn’t left the lab, Max wouldn’t be alive right now-”

“I know. It’s just, she’s um… she’s never lost before. Not like this.”

“She’ll have another chance.”

“Let’s hope not. Let’s hope One is dead and rotting.”

“He’s not.”

A spike of fear shot through Mike. He turned to Will, whose head was bowed, eyes staring at the ground between their feet. 

“Now that I’m here, in Hawkins, I can feel him.” 

The fear and pain in his voice were unsettling to Mike. He somehow knew that Will was in trouble. If Vecna was even half as powerful as he was days before, he could hurt his main target, Will. 

“And he’s hurt. He’s hurting. But he’s still alive. It’s strange, knowing now who it was this whole time, but… I can still remember what he thinks, and how he thinks. And he’s not going to stop. Ever. Not until he’s taken everything. And everyone. We have to kill him.”

Will was breathing heavily, like something was pushing him down, trying to force him through the ground to the Upside Down. Mike gripped his shoulder, making sure that the invisible force couldn’t take him away. 

Not again. I’m not letting that happen. I can’t lose him again.

“And we will. We will.”

Will started to turn to him as if to say something, but they heard a car pull up to the front of the cabin. They quickly stood at the same time and made their way to a hole in the wall. They watched as a shiny black car drove around the trees. Ms. Byers, Hopper, Murray, and the government lady from California got out of the car. 

Will and Mike rushed outside. Hopper walked straight past them and into the house, no doubt to hug El. Will and Jonathan ran to hug their mom as Mike and Nancy watched. Then El and Hopper came out of the house, arms wrapped around each other. El ran to hug Ms. Byers. 

Mike turned around to find Hopper staring in his direction. Even if Mike didn’t have any feelings left for El, Hopper was always good to him. Not to mention Mike was still interested in one of his kind-of kids. 

“Hey.”

“You’ve grown.”

“Yeah.”

Mike smirked. He knew he shouldn’t say it, but what the hell, he knew Hopper wouldn’t kill him.

“You shrunk.”

Hopper pulled him into a hug. Mike hadn’t realized it before, but Hopper was the only adult male figure in his life with some authority and care for what Mike went through. He was truly there for him. Steve and Jonathan cared, but not in the same way Hopper did. Not like this.

Hopper slowly pulled out of the hug, his eyes towards the sky. Mike turned around and looked as well. Clouds rolled in, bringing thunder and red lighting. Ash fell from the sky like snow, but it stung their skin and clung to their clothes. It was difficult to see from the trees, but they knew what it was. 

The seven of them walked to the nearby hilltop. It was the same hill that Cerebro was placed on, the same where Mike had picked the flowers for El. The lightning stained the sky a deep red and the gates poured smoke, clogging the air. Mike and Will had stopped a few yards before the dying life in front of them, but El kept walking. She stooped down to look at the flowers, crumpling before her eyes. 

Mike could feel Will next to him, their breathing almost in sync. Nancy and Jonathan were close to each other and Ms. Byers and Hopper held hands. Mike wanted to do the same, but he knew, even at the end of the world, that it wasn’t right. 

They would all stare. El would be hurt, Hopper would be mad, and Ms. Byers, Jonathan, and Nancy would all be shocked. It’s not the time or place. Not yet.

The world got colder, the days endless without sun, and the air hurt to breathe. The occasional cry of a demobat drifted through the gates, carried by the wind. 

Everybody chipped in to help fix the cabin, but Mike and Will weren’t much help. They both lacked the building skills that were necessary to fix the holes in the roof and walls. After a few weeks of work, it wasn’t perfect, but it was liveable. Hopper, El, and the Byers all moved in with what little belongings they had with them. Mike lent Will a lot of clothes and Jonathan, Hopper, and Joyce got clothes from the Hawkins High donation bins. 

Mike had avoided talking to El because she avoided him. It was easier to pretend that nothing had ever happened between them than trying to discuss how they both felt. Mike didn’t know how El felt. At the Pizza Boy restaurant, she seemed to still like him, right? But she hadn’t said a word to him since he said: “I love you”. Maybe she realized she doesn’t love him. That would be better for Mike, but then again, he didn’t know. 

Mike zipped down the road on his bike, curls and coat floating behind him. He reached the cabin and parked next to the stairs. Mike knocked on the door in a rhythm he and Will had used throughout their childhood. Everyone had agreed to use specific knocks for safety purposes. Hopper opened the door. He was wearing a plaid shirt and dark sweater that fit snuggly against his newly formed muscles from Russia. 

Nope. Not thinking about that.

“Hey, kid. Will’s out back.”

“I’m actually here to talk to El.”

“Hm. I thought you two were uh… dunzo.” He made a slicing motion with his hand.

“N-no. Not officially, at least.”

“Huh. Okay…”

Hopper stepped to the side to let Mike in. It wasn’t much warmer inside the cabin than it was outside. Ms. Byers was sitting on the couch, legs crossed under her, wrapped in a blanket, and drinking coffee out of a homemade mug. She was slowly adding pieces to the barely-built puzzle on the coffee table. 

“Hi, Ms. Byers.”

“Hi, Mike.” She waved her hand behind her, still staring at the puzzle. “I’ve told you, just call me Joyce.” 

“Right. Sorry, Ms- Joyce.”

Mike walked around the couch towards the bedroom El and Will had been sharing. He knocked on the cracked-open door and walked in. El looked up from the comic she was reading and gave him a soft smile.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

Mike set his backpack down by the door and walked towards El.

“I’m uh… I’m here to talk. To you. I wanna talk to you about… something.”

“Oh. Me too.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I think… I think that we need to break up.”

“Oh, wow. Yeah. Uhm… I was thinking the same thing.”

“You were?”

“Yeah. I mean… after everything it just seems like we don’t feel the same way that we did a year ago. You know what I mean?”

“Yes. I know what you mean. I think we should stay friends.”

“Agreed.”

Mike held out his hand for El to shake it, but she hugged him instead. Now that he knew she didn’t feel that way, it was easier for him to hug back. 

“I have seen the way you look at Will. It is okay if you like him now,” she whispered.

Mike’s breath caught in his throat. How had she known about him liking Will?

“What?! I don’t… uh… I’m not…”

“Mike. It is okay. I know.”

“But… you’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad? I am just glad you found someone to say “I love you” to.”

Mike hugged El again. He was so happy that she wasn’t upset with him because he was sure it would happen. He had imagined El yelling at him for loving Will instead of her. But this was so much better.

Mike waved goodbye to El and walked around the back of the cabin where Will was sitting under a tree with his eyes closed. Mike sat down next to him and watched his slow breaths. Will opened his eyes, turned to him, and smiled.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, just looking at each other and feeling the frigid wind in their hair. But this quiet made Mike’s thoughts run wild. 

He looks so calm. Would it be so bad if I just held his hand? Yes, it would be so bad. 

Mike didn’t want to disrupt the peacefulness, so he simply admired the way Will’s hair brushed against his eyelids and the way he still smelled like paint and cigarettes despite wearing Mike’s clothes. He assumed Will had still been drawing during this weird in-between of the end of the world. There were lead stains on the back of his hands and some smudged paint on his neck as if he had put his brush there while thinking. 

“I can feel you staring at me, Mike.”

“Oh, sorry.” 

Mike looked away as he felt his face heat up against the cold air. He glanced back at Will whose face was also turning a pale pink.

“Is there a specific reason you came out here? Not that I don’t want you to be here… just is there something you wanted to do? Or talk about?”

“Oh. Uhm… I’m not really sure. I just kinda wanted to… be with you.”

“Oh.” The crimson that was already on his cheeks grew brighter.

Mike and Will sat inches away from each other under a tree that dropped leaves all around them. Multiple had landed in Will’s flying hair and Mike was tempted to pick them out. The sky grew darker than before, which meant it was getting late and the temperature dropped by the minute. Mike knew he should probably go home, but he didn’t want to leave Will who had started to shiver at every breeze. Mike scooted closer and put his arm around Will’s shoulder. He turned his head and they stared into each other’s eyes for one second too long to be socially acceptable. Will looked down and put his left hand on top of Mike’s. Hazel eyes found their way back to his face and he could swear they lingered somewhere before reaching his own eyes. 

I could just lean in. Kiss him. Right now. Do it. I’m gonna do it.

Mike leaned in a centimeter more. 

“Mike,” Will whispered. But he didn’t hear him. Mike was focused on Will’s lips and the way his silhouette looked against the darkening sky. 

“Mike,” he said a little louder.

“Yeah?”

“Can we go inside? I’m really cold.”

“Oh. Uh, yeah... Yeah, definitely.”

Will let go of Mike’s hand and stood up. He reached out to pull Mike up too. 

“You’re covered in leaves,” Will laughed.

“So are you!”

Will picked a few leaves out of Mike’s tangled curls and he did the same to Will’s shaggy bowl cut. While pulling off the last leaf, Mike hesitated and put his hand on the back of Will’s neck. That was it. He didn’t lean in or whisper Will’s name or try to flirt. He just put his hand on his neck. It made Mike burn inside, like at any moment the dirt beneath his feet would catch on fire and the only thing that could put it out was Will, the very thing that started the fire. 

Chapter Text

Mike and Will sat down next to each other on El’s bed. She was in the kitchen making dinner with Joyce, so they had the room to themselves. Mike felt watched now that they were inside, even if the door was closed. He averted his gaze from Will and looked at anything that would distract him. There were pencils, brushes, and sketches lying about Will’s side of the room, one of them seeming to be an early version of the painting Will had given him. 

Then Mike remembered. He remembered everything that the painting stood for and all of the words Will used to support it. They were supposed to be El’s words, even if they sounded like Will’s. But he would never lie to Mike. Ever. Rule number one of their party was ‘friends don’t lie,’ so why would he have done so? 

Mike shoved the thoughts onto a mind shelf for later. He didn’t need to worry about that right now. He was with Will. Alone with Will. Mike should be celebrating, not concerning himself with pointless arguments. But, if none of what Will had said was from El, was it all his? Even the part about hurting and losing Mike? 

“Are you okay?”

Will was watching Mike whose eyes were still stuck on the sketch of the painting. He turned to look at Will and felt his stomach flutter. Will’s hair was still messed up from the wind and he had wrapped himself in a blanket, resembling Joyce’s look from earlier. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good… really good.”

“Really good? Wow. Did something happen for me to deserve a happy Michael Phineas Wheeler?”

“Really? The middle name too?”

“Yup.”

“Jeez, okay. I’m just happy to… be with you. Is that okay, Mr. William Byers?”

Will’s cheeks brightened. 

It could just be from the cold. That’s a plausible explanation. He’s only red from the cold.

“Yeah! Yeah, that’s okay.”

Will bit his bottom lip and Mike sucked in his cheeks. They stared at each other, smiling faces bright crimson. Mike saw a flash of red lightning across Will’s face, who winced as if he’d already heard the thunder. But before Mike could ask if Will was okay, there was a knock at the door. Jonathan spoke out through the splintering wood.

“Hey, Will, Mom wants help setting the table.”

“Why can’t you do it?”

“I’m helping make the food!”

“What about El?”

“She was helping too! She went to take a break. Just, come set the table please.”

“Fine,” Will grumbled.

Mike stood up.

“Do you want me to go?”

“No, please stay for dinner. These things have been so awkward. I want you to be there. I need you to be there… to stop me from saying something embarrassing.”

“Who? You? Never.”

“Oh shut up,” Will laughed. He walked out of the room and Mike followed, grinning the whole way.

Will was right, the dinner was awkward. Joyce asked about everyone’s days even though they were mostly stuck inside together. And Hopper had tried to start a conversation with Jonathan about him and Nancy, but he failed miserably. After eating, Mike decided that then was the time to think about the painting. Will had been asked to help clean up, so Mike followed El into her and Will’s bedroom. 

“Hey, El… Can I talk to you about something?”

“Oh. Yes. Is something wrong?”

“Uhm. I don’t think so? I just have some things on my mind. Do you mind if I ask you some questions?”

“Uh... Okay.”

“So first, I just wanted to ask about the painting. Ya know the one with the dragon and the party?”

“What?”

“Will gave me a painting and said you asked him to paint it. He said a lot about how you’d supposedly been feeling and how you wanted to make that painting for me. But I’m wondering now if that was all- all a lie. Because obviously, you don’t feel that way about me anymore.”

“Mike, I’m sorry. I don’t know anything about that. I knew Will was painting a lot, but I thought it was for… somebody he likes.”

El trailed off at the end, making a face as if she suddenly understood everything in the world.

“Oh, Mike. What kind of things did Will say?”

“That you needed me and that saying that would make me leave and it would hurt more… but you didn’t feel that way. So why would Will lie to me?” 

Mike stood up and started pacing. 

“Why would he lie to me?”

“Mike. I think you should talk to him.”

He stopped in front of El.

“I think so too. He’s got some shit to explain.”

Mike turned towards the door, but El grabbed his forearm.

“Mike… be gentle.”

“I know.”

Mike still had a concerned, upset look on his face. He found Will in the living room on the couch, mindlessly staring at the puzzle on the coffee table. 

“Are you okay,” Will asked.

“Can we talk for a second?”

“Oh! Uh… yeah, sure. Lemme grab my jacket.”

Will put on a green patchy coat over his flannel. The shade was more earthy than the pale green of Mike’s sweater. They walked through the back door and stopped below the same tree they had been sitting under before. Mike could just barely see Will’s face in the dark, but the porch lights glowed from afar and created a dim atmosphere. It was almost dream-like. The wind had died down and the night was quiet, apart from the occasional flash of red lighting and booming thunder. 

“So… what did you wanna talk about?”

Will sounded worried, which worried Mike. 

Why should he be worried?

“I was wondering. A lot, actually. I’ve been thinking a lot. I just wanna know why you lied to me about the painting.”

“What? Mike, I- I didn’t.”

“Will, I know El didn’t commission the painting. She told me!” 

“She- I had to.”

“Why would you have to say that? Why would you say it if it wasn’t true?! Why give me false hope that everything could be normal for once?!”

It started to drizzle, but neither of them cared. They stood one foot apart, yelling in the rain. Again.

“What is normal , Mike? No, really, tell me. I haven’t seen it in at least ten years.”

“Ten years? We’ve known each other for ten years, Will! Are you saying I’m not normal enough? What, a girl doesn’t love me, and all of a sudden I’m not normal?!”

The rain grew heavier.

“That’s not what I meant!”

“Well, what did you mean?! Because she doesn’t love me and you lied about it! You made me feel normal for once! You made me feel normal for not loving her!”

“It’s not my fault you don’t love her!”

Mike pulled back. That was almost exactly what he’d said to Will last Summer.

It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!

“What?” Mike said, voice softer than before.

“I said that’s not my fault.”

“Actually, you’re wrong... It kinda is.”

Mike decided if everything he just fixed with Will was already going to hell, he might as well just put it out there. 

“What are you talking about, Mike?”

“I’m saying that it is your fault I don’t love her!”

“And why is that?!”

“Because I love you !”

Will’s mouth opened slightly. He took a step back and Mike watched as he looked for something in his face. Will took another step back and muttered something Mike couldn’t make out.

“You’re joking,” Will whispered. 

“I’m not.”

“No, no, you’re just making fun of me. I get it.”

Will turned to leave, but Mike grabbed his hand. He pulled away and continued towards the cabin. There was another flash of lightning.

“You really think I’m the type of person to lie about this?! Did I lose you that much?”

Will looked back at Mike over his shoulder. He could feel the distant rumble of thunder in his chest.

“Mike, stop.”

“Stop? Stop what?! I’m in love with you, Will! I have been for like a year!”

He turned back fully and took a step towards Mike.

“No. Mike, I swear if you’re joking-”

“Will!”

Mike grabbed his hands again. But this time, he held on so tight that Will couldn’t pull away. Their hair and clothes were soaked and Mike fought the urge to push Will’s wet bangs out of his eyes.

“Please. Can we just talk?”

Will seemed on the verge of tears, but managed to hold them back against the rain beating on his olive skin and his knuckles turning white under Mike’s fingers. He sighed.

“Fine, but shouldn’t we go inside?”

“I like the rain. It reminds me of you.”

“Mike.”

“Look I don’t understand why you couldn’t say all those things yourself. Why go and twist it like that? Make me think that El loved me and I could still pretend?”

Will’s eyes were starting to fill up even more and Mike could tell it was getting harder for him to hold the tears back.

“Because I was still pretending, Mike! It’s not easy for some people to just say what they’re thinking all the time.”

“I do not-”

“Mike. Think about this, okay?”

Will’s eyes gave way and tears ran down his cheeks, blending in with the rain. Mike knew he should stop talking, but he couldn’t. He just didn’t understand.

“Why? Think about what? What is there to think about? I love you, I’m pretty sure you love me unless that’s a lie too. So what is it, Wi-”

Mike felt Will’s arms around his neck, his face stuffed into the crook of his shoulder. His face heated up, cheeks bright crimson. 

“Will, what…?”

Mike heard a sniffle and felt Will’s heaving cries against his chest. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.”

He wrapped his arms around Will’s back and hugged him tightly. Warmth spread throughout their bodies. Mike didn’t want to let go for fear of freezing over, but soon the crying had died down and those dark hazel eyes stared up at him. He couldn’t resist and put his right hand on Will’s cheek and wiped away rain and tears that just came back. Mike wanted to kiss him so much. 

“Mike, do- do you really…”

“Love you?”

Will nodded.

“Of course I do!”

“Why?”

“‘Why?’ Will! You’re kind, gentle, and an amazing friend. Why wouldn’t I love you?”

“Because I lied to you. For years. I lied for years, Mike. I’m so sorry.”

Will stuffed his face in Mike’s shoulder.

“Will. I’m not mad. I just want to know why. Did I do something to make you feel like you couldn’t tell me?”

Will pulled out of the hug and stared at Mike, eyebrows raised, mouth in a frown.

“Oh. Right.”

It’s not my fault you don’t like girls.

Oh, hey. Accompanied by an awkward hug.

Did you think we were never gonna get girlfriends?!

“You know what, that’s my bad.”

Will laughed and Mike admired the crinkle at the corners of his eyes, the dimples on his cheeks. Mike really couldn’t help himself. He returned his hand to Will’s cheek, the other still on his shoulder. Mike leaned in ever so slightly and no longer masked his glance at Will’s lips. They were parted, drops of rain making their way into his mouth. Mike looked back up at Will’s eyes to find them staring right back. He sucked in his cheeks like he always did when he was nervous. But he’d kissed thousands of times, so he should be fine.

This is fine. I’m fine. He’s fine. He is fine. Oh god, what am I doing?

Mike was about to force himself to let go, but then Will’s hand found its way to Mike’s neck. He pulled him closer but didn’t move his head like going for a hug. 

It’s really happening. This is really happening. I’m gonna kiss Will.

Will’s lips moved like he said something, but the rain and Mike’s thoughts were too loud. All he could focus on was how much he wanted to kiss him.

“Mike,” Will said again.

“Yeah,” he whispered.

“Did you hear that?”

Mike recoiled. “Hear what?”

“I- I dunno, it sounded like a Demogorgon. Like it was… close.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m pretty sure. I did spend a week listening for them, after all. Now shh.”

“All right, no need to get so Will the Wise on me.”

“Mike.”

“Right, sorry. Shutting up now.”

They stood in silence, arms still tangled around each other, listening for anything. There was another flash of lightning and thunder quickly followed. The storm was getting closer to them. Then, they heard it. A snarl and faint clicking sound, like a wolf getting ready to attack its prey. But Mike and Will knew better than to assume it was a wolf. They dropped their arms, and Will grabbed Mike’s hand, running and pulling him as fast as possible to the cabin’s back door.

Chapter Text

Mike and Will ran inside, slamming the back door of the cabin behind them. Everyone in the house turned to them, confusion and worry spread across their faces when they saw the boys. They were soaked, red, and breathing heavily. Joyce was the first to speak.

“What’s wrong?”

“Demogorgon,” they shouted in sync.

Hopper and El looked at each other, seemingly having a quick, silent conversation. Hopper grabbed a gun and their coats, and they both walked out the door. Joyce ushered the two boys towards the wood-burning heater in the corner. Jonathan grabbed towels and clothes from the boxes of donations from Hawkins High while Joyce poured them each a mug of coffee, despite the time. 

Mike and Will changed then sat in silence until they were fully dry and warm. They kept the towels and coffee with them when they moved into Will and El’s bedroom. She and Hopper hadn’t returned yet, most likely still hunting down the Demogorgon. 

“So…”

“So?”

“So everything you said before… you know.”

“Oh, right. That. Yes.”

Mike had been so in shock from the Demogorgon, he’d almost forgotten about confessing his love to Will. Everything he’d said had been… what, exactly? Not so much a confession as blame.

It’s your fault I don’t love her… because I love you ! 

Will had been crying, hugging him. They almost kissed, didn't they? 

Oh shit. We almost kissed. Oh, he must feel so bad cause I know I would. I mean he just… wow. We almost kissed. 

“Mike… are you okay?”

“Hm? Oh. Yeah, yeah I’m okay. I just uh… I was thinking, I guess.”

“Okay…”

“It’s true, though.”

“What?”

“It’s true that I love you. And not just in a friend kinda way. Like in a love way. You know what I mean? I’m talking too much now. Obviously, you know what I mean. I think you feel that way too, right? If you didn’t, I’d feel pretty stupid. Not that it’s your fault that I’m stupid, I just mean-”

“Mike.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s okay. I understand.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. I- I feel the same way.”

“Oh! Cool. Cool.”

Will smirked. “Cool.”

Just that little smile sent chills down Mike’s body like he was outside in the cold again, rather than in the warmth of the Byers-Hopper cabin. But it was good chills. Like how he felt whenever he started to perform a new campaign for the party. Mike watched Will’s face as he looked down into his mug. The coffee swirled around, the last bit of steam curling into the air as it finally cooled off. 

But Mike noticed a sudden change in his expression. Will’s faint smile turned into a hard frown and his eyes glazed over as if he were zoning out. He lifted his hand to the back of his neck like he always did when something wasn’t right. Mike bent down to look Will in the eyes and Will gave him a sad, scared look. 

“What is it?”

“I think Hopper and El killed the Demogorgon, but I- I could feel it. I haven’t been able to feel it since… since it was inside me.”

“Did it hurt?”

“No? Not really. It was more like a pinch but over my whole body. Like an ice-cold breeze suddenly hitting me. I don’t know. It was weird.”

“It’s okay. He’s far away from becoming powerful enough to do anything to you. To us.”

“But how do we know that?”

“We hurt him pretty bad. I think it’ll take a bit longer than a month for him to pick himself up again.”

“Okay. Yeah, yeah you’re right. I’m just being stupid.”

“You’re not stupid, Will. C’mere.”

Mike took Will’s mug and set it on the bedside table with his own. Then he pulled Will closer and wrapped his arms around him, their knees touched from their cross-legged positions. It hurt Mike’s back to hug like this, but he didn’t care, he just wanted to be there for Will.

Given that it was a little after 11 o’clock, Mike decided to just spend the night. Will didn’t have a real bed, so they couldn’t sleep next to each other like they used to in elementary. Even if he did have a bed, Mike wasn’t sure they’d be able to for many reasons — they’d both grown significantly since their last sleepover, they’d just admitted their feelings for each other so it might be awkward, and El was in the room. Mike threw his pillow and blanket next to Will’s sleeping bag that was draped across the floor on the right side of the room. 

“You don’t have to sleep so close to me, Mike. I’m fine, really,” Will whispered.

“I know but… I want to,” he whispered back.

Mike woke up. There was a warm feeling in his fingers. He looked to his left to find himself holding Will’s hand. Mike didn’t remember doing that, so they must’ve done it in their sleep. Will’s watch read 4:52. Mike let out a soft sigh, aggravated at himself for waking up at such an odd time. He shut his eyes and quickly fell back asleep. 

The sound of voices called Mike awake again. He didn’t want to get up, but he slowly remembered that he had been holding Will’s hand. The absence of warmth made his eyes peel open. Mike lifted his arm above his head and squinted at his watch: 8:06. He blinked a few more times before sitting up. 

“Not much of a morning person, huh,” said a figure in the doorway. 

It took Mike a few moments before he could fully make out that the figure was Joyce. She was wearing a donated t-shirt, sweater, and jeans, with an apron that said: “Kiss the Cook” on top. Mike looked back at the empty sleeping bag next to him.

“Where’s Will,” he slurred.

“Outside. He was the first one up. I told him to wait for you before leaving, but he didn't listen. Well, I guess you’ll find him anyway.”

Joyce closed the door and Mike listened to her footsteps as she walked back to the kitchen, presumably in the middle of making breakfast. He pulled on some spare clothes he’d brought and his now-dry jacket and headed outside.

Mike followed a trail of footprints into the forest. Dead leaves crunched and mud squished under his feet. He found Will ten yards past the tree line. 

“Hey, what’re you doing out here? It’s freezing and not safe.”

“I’m fine,” Will held up a shotgun he’d been holding under his arm. 

“You can use that?”

“Uh… yeah. Why else would I have it?”

“Alright, Will the Smartass… You never told me. Why are you out here? Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m– actually no. Sorry. I just… I dunno. I thought maybe… maybe if I could find the Demogorgon, I might be able to understand why I could feel it. It’s stupid, I know.”

“No! No, it’s not stupid, Will. Can I come with you?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Mike and Will walked along a path of mud, disturbed by Hopper and El’s boots. After about half a mile, they could smell rotting flesh. Will turned towards the smell and Mike followed, finding the demolished body of the Demogorgon 15 feet from the path. Will stopped in front of the scene, staring. 

“God, that’s disgusting. Do you feel anything, Will?”

Will didn’t respond, he just kept staring ahead. Mike put a hand on his shoulder and turned him around. His eyes were rolled into his head and his body was stiff as a board.

“Will? Hey, Will. C’mon, please. Will! God.”

No matter how much Mike shook him and called his name, he couldn’t seem to wake up. This wasn’t like the trances he went into a couple of years ago. Hot tears stung Mike's eyes and ran down his cheeks. Soon El reached them, wearing pajamas and a large coat. 

“What is it? What happened?”

“I-It’s Will. He felt something last night when you guys killed the Demogorgon, so he wanted to look for it. But as soon as we got here he just…”

El took Will’s shoulders in her hands and called for him, but it was no use; he was fully out of it. Mike ran back to the cabin and informed Joyce, Hopper, and Jonathan of what was happening. Joyce started calling everyone who knew about the Upside Down while Hopper and Jonathan started looking for music that might help. Mike ran back to find El sitting on the ground, eyes shut, yelling into whatever memory Will was stuck in. Mike took his shoulders again, tears still spilling over. 

“Will! Will, I know you probably can’t hear me, but I’m gonna get you out, I promise. Okay? I promise.”

Joyce, Hopper, and Jonathan ran from the cabin empty-handed.  

“His favorite song. Is it still Should I Stay or Should I Go? Jonathan?”

“I-I don’t know. It doesn’t have to be his favorite as long as it means something to him. But we don’t have it, remember?”

They didn’t have anything. But Mike figured something was better than nothing. He immediately started singing. The lyrics were burned into his brain when Will wouldn’t stop singing it in sixth grade. His throat was clogged from tears, which made it hard to breathe, but he didn’t care. Mike just kept singing; he made it through filled to the brim with tears. At the end of the song, a few seconds passed when everyone thought they’d lost Will. But then he gasped and opened his eyes with a flutter. Mike was the closest and the first one to throw his arms around Will. 

“Will! Oh my god, we thought we lo-”

Will pushed Mike off of him and fell backward, with a scared look on his face. 

“Will… what h– are you okay?

He had fallen into Joyce’s arms and stuffed his face into her shoulder. He was crying. Mike reached out towards him, but Joyce gave him a look that said: “Wait. Give him space.”

Then El walked towards the pair and Will turned away, further into Joyce. El pulled back, scared that she accidentally hurt him, but Joyce gave her the look too. Then she and Mike turned to each other. A note of sadness and understanding passed between them. 

Hopper took Will from Joyce’s arms and carried him back to the cabin, Jonathan followed closely and Mike and El walked behind him. Mike put his arm around her as comfort for both of them. 

“Just let him have his space. We don’t know what he saw in there, but I’m sure it wasn’t good. So El we’ll set you up on the couch and you head home, Mike.”

“But, Ms. Byers–”

“It’s Joyce and Will needs time. I’ll let you know if he’s ever ready to–”

“If? With all due respect, Joyce, I deserve to know what’s going on with him. I'm his... best friend.”

“And with all due respect, Mike, I am his mother. He needs space and I’ll call you when he wants to talk. But until then, you stay safe. At home.”

Mike’s bike ride from the cabin was much less joyful than the one to the cabin. He was worried for Will, mad at Joyce and Hopper for keeping him from seeing his best friend, and mad at himself for not doing something, for not believing Will.

The days at home felt long to Mike. He would fall asleep at 3 am only to wake up at 7 am. His thoughts kept him from falling asleep and the nightmares forced him awake. Every night was the same: Mike reaching out for Will, calling his name into the darkness. But every time he appeared, he would vanish into a puff of smoke, leaving behind a warning that something was off. After five days, Mike couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t wait for a call from Joyce, or even tell her he was coming. He got dressed, hopped on his bike, and headed straight for the cabin.

Chapter Text

Mike walked up the front steps of the cabin and knocked on the door. This time, Joyce opened the door.

“Mike, I told you to wait until I called you. I’m not sure if he’s–”

“I waited! I deserve to see him now.”

“Mike… I’m sorry. I don’t think he’s ready.”

“Look, I don’t expect him to talk to me. I just wanna see him and… make sure he’s okay.”

Joyce sighed. But after a few seconds of concentrated stares between Mike and a nonexistent spot on the porch, she finally agreed. Joyce stepped out of the way for Mike to come in and closed the door behind him. The small room was dark despite all the curtains being drawn open.

“He’s in the bedroom. El gave him her bed temporarily. Just… try to be sensitive, Mike.”

“I know. Thanks, Joyce.”

They exchanged a smile and Mike knocked lightly on the bedroom door. 

“Come in,” he heard a small voice say.

Mike slowly opened the door. This room was even darker than the first, given that the only light was a candle in the corner. He didn’t know how Will would react to seeing him, but he took Joyce’s warning seriously. 

“Hey… It’s me.”

Will turned towards the door. But Mike could tell he wasn’t exactly happy to see him. He didn’t know why Will was sitting on the floor, but he was always like that: finding the oddest places and positions to sit in. Their eyes met for a moment, but Will quickly looked back at the paper in front of him. He was messily drawing something with a broken red crayon. Mike sat down on the bed to the right of Will’s turned back. He didn't need to bring it up, but there was tension Mike wanted to get rid of.

“Do you… wanna talk about it,” he asked cautiously. 

“About what,” Will replied without looking up.

Mike knew that whatever he saw was probably traumatizing, but it seemed he was getting better otherwise. Will would have to talk about it eventually. 

“You know what I’m talking about, Will.”

“I don’t.”

Mike held back a sigh. “If you don’t wanna, it’s okay. I understand.”

“No. You don’t.”

Mike hated when he did that; when Will suddenly felt the need to push away from him. He just wanted to help, to understand. But there was the constant push and pull between them, preventing any progress from ever being made. 

“What don’t I understand, Will?”

“Anything… everything.”

“Well, I can’t just know everything. I can’t read minds, Will. If you wanna say something to me, say it. I wanna help. Just tell me what-”

“Please, stop.”

“Stop what? Trying to be here for you? Love you?”

Will finally turned around. He remained seated on the floor next to the bed, staring Mike down.

“Don’t say that.”

“What?”

“You don’t love me.”

“Will, what are you talking about? I told you just a week ago that I did!”

“It’s not true.”

“I wouldn’t lie about that!”

“Wouldn’t you, Mike?”

“What the hell are you talking about? I would never lie to you, Will.”

“But you did . If you loved me, why didn’t you say anything?”

Mike was slightly caught off-guard. He held his breath for a moment before continuing.

“I- I guess I was just scared. Of everything. I mean, I didn’t know how people would react and I didn’t even know you felt the same way.”

Will scoffed. “Of course you didn’t.” He stood up and turned away from Mike, beginning to gather his art supplies from the floor.

“Will, I-”

He stopped in the middle of picking up another piece of paper and looked over his shoulder. “I don’t wanna hear whatever bullshit excuse you have now , Mike. I waited and I finally realized I wasn’t enough for you. I thought that maybe you would be happier with El. So that’s what I did.”

“What?” Tears were beginning to form behind Mike’s eyes. He was glad Will couldn’t see them in the dark.

“Oh my god- I told you those things because that’s how I thought El would’ve felt too. And I’m sorry I was wrong, but I was trying to make you happy.”

“Will. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t bother, Mike.”

“No, really. I- I should’ve been better. I should’ve noticed. I should’ve been able to understand, but I couldn’t see past the stupid thoughts in my head. I’m sorry.”

“I guess that’s better than what the fake you said.”

“Fake me?”

He must’ve seen me in his trance. But those are really bad- Oh god. What could he have seen?

“Yep,” he sighed. Will let his head drop towards the floor as if he had accidentally let a secret slip out.

“Will, I-”

He turned his body back towards the bed but kept his head down. “You don’t have to say anything, Mike. It’s technically not your fault.”

“Technically?”

“Well,” he sighed again. “The things he said were your words, just… twisted, I guess. He made it sound like… like…” Will’s eyes had started going red, but it didn’t seem like any tears were there. Maybe he’d cried them all out already.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to… I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that. It’s not your fault, really. I’m sorry for blaming you.”

“No, I get it. Vecna me sounds like an asshole.”

Will laughed. He actually laughed. It had been a long time since Mike heard it. It was choky and faint, but it still existed. Will’s laugh still existed and Mike heard it. He heard it. Not anyone else.

“I love you.”

“Mike-” Will finally looked up at him.

“I’m sorry. I just couldn’t help myself.”

Mike could barely see in the dim room, but Will’s eyes lit up and his face went crimson.

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“I- I’m sorry, I don’t…”

Mike’s face dropped. Did Will not actually love him? He opened his mouth to say something but Will cut in first.

“No! I’m sorry, I just meant… I don’t know what to say.”

“Oh.”

“I- I do still…”

“Like me?”

Will nodded.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he whispered.

“Maybe this is the best thing that ever happened to me,” Mike laughed. 

“Hm?”

“You don’t- Do you not remember?”

“Remember… what?”

“Oh. Well, when you were possessed, so to speak, we uh… kinda interrogated you in your shed.”

“You what?!” Will was covering his mouth with his hand, but Mike knew he was smiling; he could hear it in his voice and see his eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Yeah,” he laughed. “We… we were trying to remind you of everything. So it was, uh, me, your mom, Jonathan, and Hopper. We all stood in the shed- which we, like, covered in paper to camouflage it… it actually looked kinda cool. Anyway, we all brought up different memories. Like Jonathan played ‘Should I Stay or Should I Go’ and your mom talked about your drawings and stuff. And I… uh…”

“Mike?”

“Yeah… yeah I- I talked about us. I talked about the day we met.”

“Can you say it?”

“What?”

“Tell me… tell me what you said that day.”

“Oh uhm… I don’t really remember it too well.”

“Mike.”

Will was frowning. He could always see past Mike’s words somehow. Maybe he wasn’t as good of a liar as he thought. He stared down at the floor.

“Sorry, uhm. I think I said something like, ‘I was alone. But I saw you on the swings and you were alone too. So I asked if you wanted to be my friend and you said yes. It was the best thing I’ve ever done.’ Or something like that…”

“Something like that.”

Mike looked back up to see Will smiling. His eyes were still red and puffy, but he was smiling. The specific smile that Mike had never seen him give anybody else. It must be reserved for him. Mike’s breath caught for the millionth time since meeting Will and his face heated. He almost coughed when trying to speak again.

“Do you- Is there anything else you don’t really remember?”

“Well… pretty much anything from when I was flayed but nobody ever told me everything from that first week. The week I,” he made air quotes, “went missing…”

“Oh, right! Oh my god, we never did, did we?”

“Nope…”

“Well, sit down I guess because there’s quite a lot.”

“And then James and Troy started chasing me and Dustin towards the quarry. But you know we’re both shit at running, so they caught us.”

Will gasped under his breath. He knew the extent that their middle school bullies were willing to go.

“Yeah. So, Troy pulled out his pocket knife and grabbed Dustin. He like put it by his mouth and said he was gonna cut out his teeth if I didn’t jump off the cliff…”

“Well, Dustin didn’t get his teeth chopped and, obviously, you didn’t jump, so… what happened?

“A-Actually, I did jump.”

“You what ?!”

“It’s okay, El caught me.”

“ What ?! Mike, you could’ve died! You didn’t know El was gonna be there! I mean, I’m glad she was, but what were you thinking?!”

“Well, I-”

What had Mike been thinking? He forced his memory back to that day. He tried to put his mind in the same place it was on the edge of the cliff:

If I don’t jump, Dustin will get hurt. This could kill me, but why do I need to live? Lucas left. El left. Dad doesn’t care. Mom and Nancy don’t understand. Will is… Will is dead. He’s dead. I can be dead too. I can see him again. 

“I was thinking… well, I didn’t think anybody would care.”

“Mike-”

“It was after they pulled the fake body out of the quarry, so I still thought you were dead. Lucas and El left and… I wanted to be with you. I-I wanted to see you again.”

“No, Mike… what do you mean you ‘didn’t think anybody would care?’”

“You know like I didn’t feel like it would really make a difference if- if I was dead too.”

“Mike that’s… I mean, I guess I feel that way sometimes, but it’s not… okay .”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, it’s not normal to think like that all the time.”

“Oh. Right, no. No, yeah I mean… I’m fine, though.”

“Ya know… you’re always asking if I’m okay, but… are you ?”

“Yeah, I- I love you. I have everything I want, so why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“Mike. Being in love doesn’t make everything okay…”

“Oh.”

“But why do you feel like nobody would care? Because I know I would; Nancy, Dustin, Lucas, El, even Max would!”

“I mean, yeah I know. But… I guess…”

His eyes and cheeks were starting to burn and he couldn’t cry in front of Will again. Especially not now.

“Do you… wanna talk about it?”

Mike found a way out.

“If I do, will you talk about yours?”

Will sighed in defeat, Mike had won. Again.

“Fine. But you go first.”

Mike sniffled a laugh. “That’s fair.”

“But I’m sure that’s nothing compared to your shit. I mean, I’m upset about my family and you literally almost died. Multiple times.”

“Mike, I barely remember a lot of it. Sure, I remember some things, but I was possessed and blocked stuff out the whole time so I don’t have too many memories of anything. But you do; you have like actual trauma. I mean you watched me go through that and I know we lost each other mentally, but you lost me physically. And that hurts, Mike. It’s okay to feel bad, but you’ve gotta talk about it before it gets to your head… I know you feel like people will… judge you, and I understand that I really do. But you can talk to me.”

At this point, Mike’s thoughts were racing. He never realized how much everything had affected him, but here was Will the Wise telling him he understood his feelings. Will was the only one who ever understood. Lucas was always the “cool” one and Dustin didn’t care what other people thought. But Mike and Will always stuck out.

I wanna kiss him. No, no, not right now. Not now. I look like shit. He doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want me. He doesn’t want me.

Although Mike could feel Will’s eyes on him, his crimson complexion, wet cheeks, and puffy eyes kept him from making eye contact.

“Mike?”

“Hm?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“You sure?”

Mike was done holding himself back. He leaned forward slowly, aware of how easily Will got nervous.

“Can I- Can I kiss you,” Mike whispered.

“Uh…”

He could see every detail of Will’s face. The freckles and dark circles under his hazel eyes, the marks on his bottom lip from biting it, the way his cheeks flushed with a color so vibrant Mike swore it was the color of cherries. His throat bobbed as he swallowed and eyes shifted over every inch of Mike’s face. 

Mike dared to move closer. Their noses brushed and he could feel Will’s breath on his lips. He could smell cigarettes, stale rain, lavender detergent-

“Mike-”

There was a knock at the door. It couldn’t have been worse timing. 

Chapter Text

Will practically threw Mike off the bed as soon as they heard the knock, and a few seconds later, the door opened. Jonathan stepped through the doorway and looked around carefully before speaking.

“Is everything… okay?”

Both boys were breathing unevenly and their faces were red.

Will was the first to respond. “Yes, uh… why wouldn’t it be?”

“We just heard some yelling and then it got pretty quiet. Thought something happened, I guess.”

“What? No. N-Nothing happened.”

Jonathan eyed Mike and Will suspiciously. They hadn’t actually kissed, but it still felt like they were doing something they weren’t supposed to.

Shit, shit, shit. He knows. He definitely knows.

“Nothing’s wrong, Jonathan… Is there anything else you need?”

Although his face had turned an even brighter crimson, Will seemed to be handling the situation oddly well. 

“You’re sure everything’s okay?”

Jonathan stared right into Mike’s soul like he was searching for something he knew was there. The answer to a question he had already figured out. Mike’s brow furrowed and his mouth went into a straight line. He’d given Jonathan this look many times, but never to his face and never in front of Will.

“Jonathan, we’re fine— I’m fine. It’s fine .”

“Okay. But if you guys yell anymore, Mom will literally throw Mike out the house.”

Mike closed the bedroom door behind Jonathan as he left and made sure to lock it this time. He and Will had been so close . Closer than best friends should be. Closer than two boys should be. But Mike was learning not to care. If it was the end of the world, did it matter? If Jonathan could see right through it and didn’t say a word, would it still make a difference?

Mike walked back towards the bed in what felt like slow motion. He could either sit a safe, respectable distance from Will, or he could try to continue what had been interrupted. That’s what Mike wanted. He wanted Will. But did Will want him? Hadn’t he been in the middle of saying something before Jonathan practically kicked down the door? 

Mike reached the edge of the bed and had to make a decision. He sat down next to Will with approximately two inches of space between them. 

Fine. Normal, even.

Mike looked at Will again. His head was tilted towards the floor and his eyes were shut.

“Are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Will,” Mike took the risk. He cupped his hands around Will’s face and lifted his head towards him. “Are you okay ?”

Mike could see Will’s face become even darker under the shades of crimson, but he nodded yes all the same. Mike smiled and quickly removed his hands from Will’s cheeks, only for Will to hold them in place. 

Mike swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. Will’s hands were wrapped around his wrists and Mike glanced at his lips much more than usual. He looked into Will’s hazel eyes for an answer in response to his silent question. But Will’s hands released his wrists and moved down to the front of Mike’s sweater. So he let his hands go down to Will’s shoulders. Clearly, he didn’t want to kiss him. But Mike needed confirmation.

“Can I—”

Mike couldn’t finish the question before he got his answer. Will tugged on his sweater and pressed his lips onto Mike’s. They were warm despite the cold room and soft despite the bite marks and peeling skin, but it didn’t last long enough for Mike to even fully register that it had really happened. 

“I-I’m so sorry! That was my first kiss. I— I don’t know what’s wrong with me. You probably didn’t want—”

Mike couldn’t help himself. He pulled Will in for another kiss. He let it last longer. Mike could once again smell the rain, cigarettes, lavender detergent, and something he hadn’t noticed before: a faint air of paint and wax. Mike moved his hand onto the back of Will’s neck where his hair had begun to hang down. He intertwined his fingers into the soft brown waves, letting them braid between the strands. Mike tried not to get too carried away; this was only Will’s second kiss after all. 

After what felt like a lifetime, he finally pulled away. Will looked so pretty. His eyes were sparkling with surprise and his mouth was slightly parted. 

 “Too much?”

“No! I mean— no. No, perfect,” Will grinned.

Mike couldn’t even process his thoughts fully; they were all jumbled into a ball of fear, hope, and love.

Will and I— Kiss— He— Then I— Holy shit!

“Mike?”

“Hm?”

“Are you okay? You look a little pale. Do you need water? Some air? I could see if we have some soda if your blood sugar—”

“Will, I’m fine. Perfect actually…”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Mike smiled.