Chapter Text

Sunny turned on his heel, gave a quick salute and dropped off the roof of the Faraway hospital. He has reaching the pavement pretty fast, despite ridiculously long drop. He closed his eyes, and made peace with himself, but then…

“Hold! Freeze frame!” Sunny yelled mentally. “Yep. That’s me… your boy. And you’re probably wondering how I got into this situation. Well it all started when…

It was a beautiful, peaceful evening in the forest. Birds were settling down, animals hiding, corpses slowly sinking into the soil. A familiar looking, older man approached Sunny and his friends.

“We knock him out and incapacitate him!” Sunny said excitedly.

“What? What do you want to do now?!” Mari said in a very frustrated tone as she looked up from the rule sheet. 

“You’ll see.” Sunny grinned like a little shit he is. “We knock him out and tie him up. We set up a camp, start a fire, heat up an iron rod and then shove it down his ass so he will scare off local fauna!”

“Yeah!” Sunny, Kel, Aubrey and Basil said as they high-fived across the table.

Mari cringed. “That… was you quest giver.”

“Oops.”

“Yeah oops! Like that time you kidnapped a halfling waitress and made her marry an ork necromancer! Or like that time you threw my npc into the lake to check if there’s and I quote ‘slap dash weed stash at the bottom’. Or that time when you killed the red dragon by throwing a jar of piss at its eye, making a shard blind him and then he collapsed the cave on himself! I can’t.. I just can’t.” Mari slapped down some dnd stuff on the table and got up. “Session’s over, I’m going to take a nap.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dE04Tllsp6U

Better than bad

By TheMattrex

Starring:

Sunny

“Fuck aliens!” Sunny blew E.T.’s brains out.

Basil

Basil kicked down the door while holding several guns. “Knock knock it’s the united states!”

Hero

“How… to… commit… tax fraud…” Hero typed on his laptop.

Kel

“Mustard, ketchup, mayo, large drink and some extra fries.” Kel sang as he made a triple cheese burger with cheese dip.

Mari

Mari slammed her hands on the counter. “Get me your manager!”

Aubrey

“My ass would have stayed in the primordial soup if I knew this shit was gonna happen.” Aubrey said while laying on bed.

Main villain

“2012 is back!”

Twist villain

“Omorbin time!” A mysterious twist villain said as he unlocked ultra-instinct.

And some other… individuals

“BAGELBOYBLUEEATMYASSWITHYOURBROKENHARMONICSTRUEMEANINGOFCHRISTMASRIDEATTEYDIOTARUMKILLIHATEOVERWATCHNERFAKALIYOUKNOWTHISISYOURFAULTRIGHT!”

It's been 2 years since Mari was revived. As mentioned in the ending of the previous fanfic, the faraway friends group lives together in a huge mansion outside the town. They could afford it due to Mari’s successful business, selling air conditioning called ‘Humphrey’s breath’.

“Come on Mari, my friend , pal, bread slice, pie slice, nacho piece, burgir bun.” Kel tried to ease up the situation unsuccessfully just like his mailman career.

“Sigh Seriously guys… you always make everything weird. Especially since you hit age of 18, constantly making those innuendoes just cuz there won’t be any repercussions.” She pointed at Sunny and Aubrey. “You two specifically!”

Basil chimed in. “I like it when Kim give me b-“

“STOP IT!” Mari yelled so loud you could see the sound waves. “I’m going to bed. Bye. Stillloveyouall! : ).”

“Wellllll bugger. What we do now?” Kel asked.

“I got streaming to do.” Sunny said as he left to get some of that money from Twitch simps.

“My plants need training.” Basil left.

“Guess its just two of us?” Kel said to Aubrey.

“Yeah.” She responded.

…

“Karaoke?”

“Fuck yeah!”

Stream started. Around 2k people were watching.

“Hey guys. Snuy here. In today stream we’re doing something special. A tier list!” Stock cheering sound played. “And not just any tier list. Oh nonononononononono… we’re doing the ultimate, ultra, awesome, doormat tier list! So let us begin.”

Coconut made doormat.

“Pretty good, functional, eco-friendly, looks decent but all are brown… A tier.”

Aluminum doormat.

“No, just no. E tier.”

Textile Doormat.

“Looks good, has many different variations, you can customize it, serves it purpose, problem is it retains the dirt so you gotta clean it and when you do it’s messy. B tier.”

Rubber doormat.

“It has… an appeal. Really good at winter tho, captures snow perfectly and makes a cool sound when you scrape your shoes. C tier.”

Plastic doormat.

“Now there’s a quality product! Looks good, is cheap, and once you put your boots on that bad boy aint noting and I mean nothing is going to stay on them. Easy to clean, customizable and varied. S tier.”

Recyc-

A notification sound popped up.

“KingEnderDragon thank you for a hundred.” Sunny said.

TTS voice came through, telling the context of the message attached to the donation. “Have you ever heard of Estranged?”

“Yeah, it’s an incredible Guns N’ Roses song.”

Hero was chilling on a couch, watching TV. He saw Mari taking the elevator. Better that than falling down stairs again… for real, she’s like a magnet for gravity around steps, like really she falls the moment she places one foot on them. “Hey sweety.” He said as a married man like him would.

“Hey honey.” She responded.

“Whatcha doing?”

“Going to bed… Care to join?” She grinned smugly.

“Nah, we already passed the limit of sex jokes in this chapter. Get some rest love.” Hero said.

“Ok, have a good day dear.”

“You too.” They’re in love if you couldn’t tell.

Hero continued to watch the program about ascending to the path of the elder ones. The man on tv was explaining a transformation into a cat person spell.  “And remember, failing at this part could have horrible consequences such as dying, passing away or even getting killed.”  

“Huh… will keep that in mind.” Hero took note.

Aubrey and Kel picked the song. It’s called ‘Shine On You Crazy Diamond’ by Pink Floyd, not realizing that it’s a 13 minutes long song with only about 2 minutes of lyrics… And so they just stood there and vibed to some to quality toons.

Basil was watering his ‘special’ plants implanted with Basil’s own nanobots, for he was still very much a cyborg. “Yes, partake in this tap water my children… Think fast!” Basil threw a target into the air, instantly a sharp and pointy vine popped out of the ground and pierced it. “Good.” He petted the plant. Remember to do that to Mikhael when he shows up.” he looked on proudly at his garden, full of the most hostile plants known to man, such as piranha plants, tress with manually controlled jump ropes at the ready, and of course purple plant one true nightmare of Arin Hanson. 

“Someone help!” A voice came from outside the premise of Basil overly grown garden.  

Basil entered his battle mode that totally not looked like green Optimus Prime, and jumped into the action. He spotted someone familiar… It was Mincy and she was getting mugged by 3 huge Colorado potato beetles who happen to speak Polish.

“Ojciec, prać?”

“Prać dziada!”

A huge blast of energy explode right next to them. “Get away from her or I’m about to do to you what Disney did to episode 9.” Basil threatened them.

“Wpierdol mu spuść synek!”

“Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.” Basil pressed a button on his neck, activating automatic translator in his vocal cords. “I tak nie wygracie Mistrzostw europy w 2024.”

The potato beetles run away while crying.

“You ok?” Basil helped Mincy up.

“Yeah, thanks.” She took him by shoulders. “Listen I bring urgent news! You need to take me to others! Something horrible has happened!”

Come on you target for faraway laughter,

Come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!

Kel and Aubrey were singing, Mari was woken up by them so she just sat there and was cranky, while Hero tried to force feed Sunny some greens.

Basil jumped through the window. “Guys! We have a guest. Mincy come in!”

She touched a sharp piece of glass still in the frame. “Ummm I’ll just take the front door.” An awkward moment of her just walking over to front door and to the living room lingered on. Finally she arrived. “Guys we need your help! Faraway is seized, so many deceased and apparently nobody is to blame!”   

“What is happening?” Mari asked while thinking. ‘Ah shit, here we go again.’

Mincy grabbed the tv remote. “Look!” She turned on news channel.

A buff shirtless gigachad wearing Corinthian helmet was shaking the hand of Joe Biden. The headline said. ‘King Leonidas of Sparta elected mayor of faraway town.’

“That’s odd… but what’s wrong with it?” Hero asked.

“That tyrant in matter of hours enslaved the whole world, killed several people, legalized drunk driving, gave IRS power to judge people on spot and sold google to China.

Basil got a notification on his phone that his google account got deleted for based af ani-communism posts.

“Eh I can live with that. Don’t need more of this shit in my life.” Sunny said.

“Sunny, he banned anime worldwide!” Mincy yelled.

Sunny looked at his manga pile in the corner of the room. In a second it left existence.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO……………………… we’re going.” 

The gang stepped into the elevator leading to the attic.

“Mincy, take care of the house while we’re gone.” Mari said.

“O-Oh, ok.”

They entered the attic where 6 space pods were waiting for them. They all entered their respective pod. A huge hole opened in the roof and so they flew away in the direction of faraway town.

“This whole mansion just to myself…” Mincy said. She walked up to the TV.

Turn down for what!

Meanwhile in Faraway

“Hmmm… I’m bored.” King Leonidas said. “I feel like blowing up something.”

“How about Australia?” An advisor said. 

“An excellent idea.” Leonidas pressed the button.

Meanwhile in Australia

“Oi mate where the a-“

KABOOM

Meanwhile in Rome

“Units ATTACK!”

“May gods be praised! The enemy general is killed! Fear makes home in our enemies hearths!” 

“Archers Auxil- Fire at will!”

“Legionaries! Units! Units forward!”

“General! Rally!”

The flight sure took a while for a space pod that is supposed to you know… go to space. Sunny was slowly falling asleep.

Welcome to Whitespace

“Oh boi… here” Sunny said in his dream.

“About fucking time you showed up!” Omori yelled from behind him.

“Ah right you exis… What are you wearing?” Sunny tried not to laugh (impossible 99,9% lose) *red arrow pointing at red circle*

“It’s my drip!” Omori said while showing of his black coat with words “by any means necessary” all over it, and his not so fake ass jordans.

“You look ridiculous.”

“I look fantastic! Anyway, this is not the reason why you’re here.”

“Then what is? You want royalties for the plushies, cuz I’m not paying anything to a walking oreo!”

“See? This is it! You keep treating me like second fiddle, you play me like a damn fiddle! Everyone is like ‘oh Sunny this, Sunny that.’ I AM THE MAIN CHARACTER! I’m the title character! And I deserve to be the center of attention!”

“Ooooooook… and my trauma demon boy got insane.”

“I’m not insane! I’m taking over soon, I’ll take your body and it will no longer be about Sunny it will be Omorbin time! It’s Omori franchise so I deserve to be main character!”

“Yeah like I’m gonna let you do that! Go fap or whatever our og version form 2012 was doing.”

“Hehehehehe enjoy your quips and references while you can because I’m almost in control, soon you’ll be mine.” 

“We’re NOT doing that.” Sunny transformed into his chaos marine form and stabbed Omori in the chest. It did nothing.

“Heheheheheheheeeee…”

“What the fuck!” Sunny opened game console. “/gamemode Omori 0” It did nothing.

“You absolute buffoon! This drip is not just overprice clothing, it’s the greatest piece of armor in the universe. It has no defense, it has no stats but one. Take a look.”

Drip + 100% plot armor

“N-No…”

“Soon Sunny, soon! Hahahahaha! I should start making brand deals. Get me Omocat on the phone!”

Sunny woke up.

“Huh… I should probably not tell anyone about this for sake of Cliché.”

“Are we there yet?” Kel asked.

“No.” Aubrey said. 

“Are we there yet?” Kel asked.

“No.” Aubrey said. 

“Are we there yet?” Kel asked.

“No.” Aubrey said. 

“Are we there yet?” Kel asked.

“No.” Aubrey said. 

“Are we there yet?” Kel asked.

“No.” Aubrey said. 

“Are we there yet?” Kel asked.

“No.” Aubrey said. 

“Are we there yet?” Kel asked.

“No.” Aubrey said. 

“Are we there yet?” Kel asked.

“No.” Aubrey said. 

“Are we there yet?” Kel asked.

“No.” Aubrey said. 

“Can we stop by Denny’s on the way?” Kel asked.

“No.” Aubrey said. 

“Are we there yet?” Kel asked.

“No.” Aubrey said. 

“Are we there yet?” Kel asked.

“No.” Aubrey said. 

“Are we there yet?” Kel asked.

“No.” Aubrey said. 

“Are we there yet?” Kel asked.

“No.” Aubrey said. 

“Are we there yet?” Kel asked.

“No.” Aubrey said. 

“Are we there yet?” Kel asked.

“Yes.” Aubrey said. 

They finally landed in Faraway. The moment their pods opened they all jumped out and hit a group pose.

Tokusentai Tokusentai Tokusentai Tokusentai

Sure is the Maverick around here…

“Well here we are gang.” Hero said. “Now we just need to evaluate the situation and…”

Faraway town was in ruins, everything was on fire, people were panicking and running chaotically in circles while screaming.

“Why did it took us so long to reach here?” Sunny asked. “We live right outside Faraway.” 

Mari checked one of their pods. “Idk maybe because someone SET THE GPS TO ‘CROSS THE WORLD!’”

“That would explain those missiles with russian writing coming right at us.” Basil said. “I did kill putin that other day.”

“Aubrey! You’re here!” Kim yelled as he run up to them. “My Bagel boy you’re here too!” She and Basil proceeded to make out way harder than Sunny and Aubrey ever could.

“Righttttt… You got any details about what’s happening?” Mari asked.

“Ah yes, everything is in ruin!”

“Yep.”

“People are dying!”

“We noticed.”

“All is lost… you have been in this kind of situation before?”

“Oh we were the source.” Kel said proudly.

“Ok good, so Leonidas made his stronghold inside the hospital.”

“You mean the super tall one?” Hero asked.

“Yes. Now go kill him!”

“Alrighty!” Hero smiled as he faced his friends, and wife (who technically is his friend, they are vibing). “Gang listen up! We are about to commit 1st degree murder again! So remember, don’t steal kills, support your friends if things get heated and most of all have fun!”

“Yay murder!”

“But one does not simply walk into that hospital.” Kim said while trembling and making an O with her fingers. “It’s a building full of IRS employees, orkz, minions from 1933 to 1945, deadly traps, cool neon guns and other whacky shit.”  

“Watch us!”  

A receptionist was sitting at the desk near the entrance of the hospital, reading a fanfic. The door opened, and group of 6 people walked in. You know who it is… why am I trying to be ambiguous.

Mari walked to the front desk and slammed her fist on it. “Get me your manager!”

“Hahaha… the receptionist revealed itself, it was actually King Leonidas. “I am the manager!”

“You! You sonnofabitch!” Sunny rushed at him with his sword, unfortunately his attack was blocked.

“And it was so quiet before you arrived. I was enjoying a good fanfic called Peaceful Morning https://archiveofourown.info/works/34594174/chapters/86114269” He smiled. “But now that you’re here we can get down to business. Actually I was expecting you and made some choice allies. Behold!”

Teutonic Knights

“Geben Sie uns Ihr Geld Heide!”

Dante from Devil May Cry

“GUNSWORDTRICKROYALGUNSWORDGUNROYALTRICKROYALSOWRDGUNSWORD!”  

Bronies

“Guys have snort anyone seen my jar. Ouch! My pimple popped.”

Jeff Bezos

“Yeah reschedule my hair transplant for tomorrow, and tell them that I’m not paying.”

Decepticons

“I will be the new leader- Shut up Starscream!”

And last but not least!

Engineer TF2

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Test your might Test your might MORTAL KOMBAT! FIGHT!

Teutonic Knights pulled out their swords.

“Holy shit that’s a lot of swords!” Omori yelled inside Sunny’s brain.

“I know! This excites me!” Sunny draw his blade. He jumped into the middle of them and begun his 1 v whole order (yes all of them). Metal clashed to the left, to the right, to groins sometimes. Sunny slayed everyone, it’s not like the Teutons didn’t put up a good fight, it’s just that power levels are bullshit.

“Stirb einfach du Schwein!” The last knight like transformers 5, yelled. Sunny slashed him across the chest. “Scheiße!”

“Hey you look just like Pinkie Pie.” Leader of bronies said. “Would you like to be me waifu?”

“NO!” Aubrey beat the fuck out of him. “You’re franchise is dead! You are an obscure fandom forgotten to time. You are nothing but a literal dead horse! And I’m the undertaker.” Aubrey cracked her knuckles. Bronies gulped.

Meanwhile at DeviantArt HQ

“Wow.” CEO of DA touched his head.

“What is it?” Head of HR asked.

“It’s like I had this headache since 10th of October 2010 or even earlier, and suddenly its gone.”

“Yeeeeehaaaaaaaa!” Engineer let out his primal roar. Explosions surround him as he danced the dance of people, Texans.

“Guess I have no choice.” Mari said as she was backed to the wall. “Michael Bay go!” She threw out a guy in the suit out of her pocket.

What I've done I'll face myself To cross out what I've become

Even more explosions happened. It was a challenge. Engineer accepted it. He jumped at Michael Bay, it created a singularity of explosions, consuming both of them. They became one with the combustion.

Hero and Dante were enjoying a nice pizza time in the middle of battle field.

“Pass me some ketchup.” Dante said.

“Sure thing.” Hero gave him red sauce, unknown to both that was Carolina reaper sauce.  

“Thanks buddy.”

Kel and Jeff Bezos tried to wrestle each other.

“You are way past your prime!” Bald headed ass said.

Kel straggled to come up with response just like I am doing rn.

“I think I will ship you for 20$ straight to hell.” Bezos continued.

“Ngh… No amount of money will ever buy you basic human sympathy.” Kel said.

“As if I need one!”

“Ummmm…! You look like off brand J.K. Simons!”

Jeff died.

Megatron took one glance at Basil and something activated in him. Flower boy looked too much like Optimus Prime.

“Prime!” Megatron yelled.

“Megatron!” Basil yelled.

“Prime!”

“Megatron!” 

“Prime!”

“Megatron!” 

“PRIME!”

“MEGATRON!”

“Star scream just showed you middle finger!”

“What!? Kill the bastard!” Decepticons proceeded to tear each other apart as the animation errors continued making other Decepticons look like the seeker with overgrown ambition.

“Surrender, your minions are dead! You can still end this madness!” Sunny said as his friends stood behind him.

“Madness?” Leonidas raised an eyebrow.   

“Oh no…” Hero whispered.

“This! Is! Spar-!”

Leonidas kick Sunny so hard it created an explosion that caused the floor to collapse below the gang, making them fall all the way down to the basement.

“-ta.”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-“ Sunny hit the floor.

“Sunny… I’m almost in control.” Omori said. “Soon the plushies will be real. I will create Omori x Dragon Ball Z anime. I will get to smash! And best of all I will take over r/Omori. I will ban Basil haters!”

“That one… aint so bad.” Sunny woke up.

“Glad your with us again little brother.” Mari smiled just like in the console trailer.

“What is this place?” Kel asked.

“Welcome to the underground!” A skeleton chained to the wall sang.

“How are your balls?” Other skeleton asked.

They all looked at the skeletons as a cool guitar riff played during they close up on their skulls. 

“Pretty good actually.” Hero said. “I’m a responsible man and do regular testicular self-examination.”

“Oh that’s a pog.” Skeleton said.

“Aren’t you two dead?” Aubrey asked.

Two skeletons look at each other.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- ded”

“Ok but 4 real what is this place? It’s full of computers, and pipes and science stuff.” Mari said.

“Hohoho It is the secret laboratory hidden deep below the hospital.” A jolly voice came from behind them. They looked around and noticed a fat man in red wear.

“Santa?!” Kel got excited.

“Indeed. Leonidas banned Christmas and trapped me here.” Santa said. “After Leonidas got defeated he was transported here where he was nurtured back to health and given incredible power. Now he controls the world, looking for revenge.”

“For losing at Thermopylae?” Hero asked.

“What? No, he let that go a long time ago. Global warming is pissing him off, he likes winter the most, and well winter is kinda dead. Trust me getting my sled to move on the ground without snow, for past couple of years was difficult… poor Vixen we had to put her down on the spot.” 

“Why do you sound like Jack Black?” Mari asked.

“Hang on!” Sunny interrupted her. “You’re saying that the equipment that made him so strong is still here?”

“Correct.” Santa nodded.

“I have an idea. Kel, how do you feel about being gigachad?”

“We have to save Christmas Sunny.”

“But its October.”

Chapter Text

“So am I on the nice list?” Kel asked Santa.

“Of course you are, you’re the best boy according to fandom.” Santa smiled jolly.  

“What about me?” Aubrey asked.

“Aight I see where this is going so I’ll just deadass say you all are.” Santa said.

“Then who is on the naughty list?” Mari asked.

“Sunny x Mari shippers.”

“Oh thank God.” Mari and Sunny both sighed in relief.

Meanwhile on one of the upper floors.

Leonidas was chilling to some tunes but every time the beat dropped, Napoleon who happen to be behind him, tended to show off his bakery. 

“Here we are.” Santa said as they entered a strange lab with just as many blue lights as there are pink in average femboy bedroom. “We just have to put Kel in that tube, press few buttons and make the magic happen.

“Alright, let’s do this.” Kel stepped into the tube. “What now.”

“Sit tight and relax, this will only hurt like motherfucker.”

“Oh ok.”

Sunny and crew pressed some random buttons that were making beeps and boops. Eventually a lightning struck Kel and tube was filled with smoke. Kel stepped out of it but he was 12 and purple.

“Nice…” Omori whispered. 

“Son of a amethyst bitch, we’re trying again.”

They tried again. Kel got out of the tube but he was an extra from Cars 2.

“Again!”

Kel was too buff, he had trouble getting back in tube.

“One more time!”

Kel got out of the tube. He was a woman now.

“Agai-“ Sunny stopped. “Maybe… we could keep her that way.” Sunny said. ‘I wouldn’t cheat on Aubrey but…’

“My my my my…” Mari had a smug grin.

‘Why is he so fucking hot as a girl!!1!!!!!!!!!!!’ Aubrey screamed internally.

Hero was just looking at his brother? Sister?

Sweet home Alabama Where the skies are so blue

They all turned around to see that Basil was vibing to some tunes in the back of the room.

“Change him back.” Hero said.

“Ok Kel get back in.” Sunny said.

“Alrighty!”

One more attempt, this time seemed to be successful. Kel’s silhouette through the smoke looked normal yet they could sense his increased power level. 

“Kel?” Hero called out his brother.

“Indeed dear brother.” Kel stepped out of the tube. His eyes had a dark eyeliner beneath. “It is I… Kel.”

“Ok… since when he can talk like he DIDN’T OD’d on sugar (or drugs idk what he does in his room)?” Aubrey asked.

“Ah yes, Aubrey. A scummy gummy that is constantly belittling me.” Kel clenched his fist.

“Kel… maybe go back into the tube?” Basil suggested.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because to put it simply, as of the current moment I am like, extremely, earth-shatteringly, unreasonably fuck ass-mad.” Kel said calmly.

“Ummmm…”

“About time you fell for this oldest trick in the book.” Someone above them said. Suddenly Leonidas dropped onto their level right behind Kel.

“YOU?!” Mari yelled.

“Yes me. Anyway as I was saying, I rigged the machine and created my greatest minion. Evil Kel! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Now my boy why don’t you take this to the arena while I’ll take care of some ‘mayoring.’”

“Yes.” Leonidas left and Kel quickly after snapped his fingers. “Arena is cannon.” Suddenly their surroundings changed from lab to a huge, empty stadium. It was very devastated after shooting party after last Super Bowl, where americans in their typical fashion decided to start shooting the shit out of their guns during post game party. “A perfect place to settle our quarrel.”

“What quarrel? What have we ever done to you?” Mari asked.

“Ugh What have you done? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!” Kel powered up, his hair was glowing yellow. “The fandom claims that I’m the ‘best boy’ yet all they do is meme me to oblivion, and when they do take me seriously they either get my pain wrong and oversaturate it or downplay it completely. I carried the plot of this game yet all I receive are repeatable memes and rare occasional BACKGROUND ships! Not only that, you… all of you hurt me yet I never received an apology, I had a near perfect life and then you all ruined it one after the other, with your perfectionism, loosing temper at tense situations, having ingenious plans to cover up crime scenes, treating me like second fiddle or refusing to get of your twisted moral high ground. You all took a piece of me… and it’s time… to pay your dues.”

“I… don’t like evil Kel.” Basil said meekly.

“Kel shut the fuck up!” Aubrey yelled before she went on a rapid rant.

“So the legends were true, Kel angst do exists.” Mari said in awe. “And it’s glorious.”

“Kel, c’mon be a bro.” Hero clenched his fists. “Don’t go Vader on us.”

“INHALE EXHALE I’m afraid its too late for me brother dearest.” Kel said.

In middle of the ensued chaos someone decided to take the opportunity. “And there’s my entrance.” Omori said.

Sunny’s brain shut down for a moment, and then… there was just Omori, and his plushies ambitions.

Omori took over Sunny’s body. “My.” He whispered with a devilish smile.

“Ok fuck this.” Aubrey charged at Kel with her bat.

That boy just stood there and clowned on her with a simple backhand sending Aubrey flying backwards all the way to the wall with a painting which absorbed her.

Papapapapapa Letsa go!

Aubrey woke up in a strange place. Upon inspecting her surrounding she realized that she’s at the most vile, foul and horrid location known to mankind, France.

Mission objective: You know what to do.

Aubrey became aware of her situation, only way to escape this hell is to do what she must. And there was one universal truth she knew for sure – It’s always morally correct to bully French people.

She smiled.

“Well that happened.” Hero said as he looked at the place where Aubrey disappeared. “So, Kel-“

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH” Kel powered up, his brown hair became gold and stood up, his muscles were well defined, his evilness unstoppable, last for revenge absolute, hatred endless, hotel trivago.

I watched a change in you It's like you never had wings Now, you feel so alive I've watched you change

”So… Brother, are you going to stop me?” Kel smirked.

“I will do what I must.” Hero said.

“Oh I’m sure you will.” Kel said. “But first why don’t you tell them how our fight TRULY went, tell them how ‘heroic’ you were.”

Hero had a sour expression.

“Fine I’ll do it then.” Kel shrugged. “Let make this quick, so a year after Mari died I tried to help Hero stop acting like such a bitch. And you know what he did? He raised his voice at me, then hands. We battled, and our parents… cheered for him, not me. All I wanted to do I set things right and he hurt me… so much, and I can’t forgive him breaking my spleen in 3 spots. So how about this brother, rematch?”

…

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!” Hero powered up, his hair also stood up, just little less, it however turned blue. “You’re not the only one with new tricks Kel. Let’s settle this.”

I was a sacrifice To a scornful king, a coward You will pay the price I've returned to end your life

“I wouldn’t have it any other way bother.”

They both flew at each other with incredible speed, their clash caused a shockwave thought the air. And so the most epic duel in history has begun, brother against brother, best boi vs prefect boi, Kel vs Hero.

Mari deiced to take a page out of Sunny’s book and pretended to be an anime side character, making big teary amogus eyes while having her hands clapped near her chest. "Wait where's Santa." She looked around, he was gone. "Eh whatever." 

Basil made himself some popcorn, he tried to offer some to Sunny. But Sunny ignored him. Basil shook the bucket with words ‘property of: Stanley’ written on it. Sunny still didn’t pay attention, something was wrong, he was just looking at Kel and Hero fighting, and he smiled.

“Lilskrunklyemoboy says what!” Basil said.

Sunny didn’t react.

‘Nani! Impossible… unless… that’s not Sunny.’ Basil thought. “Oh shit.”

“Basil.” Omori said. “Tell me, are made of watermelon?”

“Ummm nope, more like human flesh and special kind of steel called-“

Basil got interrupted by a gut punch diving deep into his stomach. “Too bad, I was kind thirsty.” Omori said as he dived his fist deeper.

“S-Sunny-kun.” Basil blushed.

Omori stopped smiling and pulled his hand out. “Nah you ruined it. You made it wired Basil.” Omori said to Basil who was pretty sure that he was dying .

Omori looked at Mari who was paying attention to Kel and Hero’s fight. “Now, Sunny… I will finish what you have started.” Omori pulled out a comically large knife, it ignited with a cool red glow and a low bass sfx.

Meanwhile in Dacia

“Chieftain, forward!”

“This is a disaster, the enemy has broken through our walls! Ready the defenders or our people will be slaughtered!”

“Warband! Units! Move out!”

“Onagers! Fire at will! Use fire!”

“Ahhhhhh!”

“The Scythian king is dead!”

Hero and Kel were still fighting high in the sky, repeating same animation of punching and dodging over and over for past 10 minutes.

“Go ahead brother, tell me how this is my destiny to be unloved middle child!” Kel said as he finally landed a kick across Hero’s jaw. “Hehehe… sigh I never wanted this, but you… you made me this way.”

“Kel, you’re just evil right now because plot demands it.” Hero said.

“No… I am evil because it’s about time the world sees this shit. It always either you going evil and blonde and poor fashion, or Aubrey goes evil and McFucking kill one of us, or Basil goes yandere psycho, or Sunny goes little shit psycho or Mari goes bad touch/abuser. It’s never me, I can’t have darkness in me, all I am suppose to be is positivity. Well surprise surprise.” Kel hit Hero in the gut VERY hard, to the point where Hero had to clench his stomach. “There’s you’re positivity.” Kel intertwined his hands and hit hero in the top of his head, sending him flying.

Meanwhile in another room

So you can keep me Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet

You finally confessed your love to your crush.

They say they love you back.

There is no alarm clock, this is real.

They lean in for a kiss.

And then… Hero breaks through one wall only to get stuck on another and Kel rams into him. He then kick Hero several times deeper into the wall. Kel lands few punches into Hero’s ribs, afterwards he grabs his head back and throws him back into the arena.

What happened to you? Idk idc gl

Hero landed in front of Mari.

“Well brother, I think it’s about time we wrap this up.” Kel said. “What do you think Mari.” Kel looked at her with an expression that said ‘you’re next’.

“Now listen here, that’s not very poggers of you! What would Cr-“ Mari didn’t finish as her ragdoll fell down on the floor and then down the stairs that magically appeared in front of her.

“I never really was on your side.” Omori said as he hid his knife back. He looked at Mari downstairs. “Damn history really likes to repeat itself.”

“Sunny?” Kel was confused.

“Oh, Sunny isn’t here at the moment… still you impressed me Kel. I have a proposition for you. Let’s work together. We can take down Leonidas, and have the world just for us. So how about it?” Omori wanted to shake Kel’s hand. “Suntan?” 

“After everything… I would be a hypocrite to accept it.” Kel chuckled. “Good thing is, I don’t care anymore about what am I.” Kel shook Omori’s hand. “Suntan.”

“Yeah.” Omori smiled devilishly. “Except I’m straight in this one.” Omori lifted Kel up and proceeded to pound him into the floor multiple times like Hulk in that one scene in 2012.

Aubrey finally jump out of that wall, covered in blood and wine and good dlcs. “Well that was fun. What did I miss?” She saw Basil, Hero and Mari ded not big soup rice. “Oh.”

Omori smiled like an anime villain he thought he was in his edgy little brain. “Ah Aubrey, my Auby, my gf.” Omori approached her like he wanted to hug her. He quickly pulled out his knife and tired to stab Aubrey but she dodged.

“Ok, I missed some shit.” Aubrey said. “You tr-8r!” Aubrey took out her bat that was engulfed in electricity and spun it around, she then kicked Omori’s ass in a 1v1.

“Ok this is going as planned.” Omori said. Using the opportunity Kel blasted him with beam on energy, knocking Omori back, and rendering him unconscious for a bit.

“Heh huff huff heh Surprise motherfucker.” Kel said. He quickly got up and attack Aubrey.

“Ok shit bitch everyone wants me dead apparently, and here I thought MCYT community would be more persistent in trying to end me.” Aubrey said. She was getting overwhelmed by Kel but in the last second an arm came out of her chest and punched Kel across his face.

“What the?”

Aubrey struck a pose as menacing signs appeared around her. “You can see it, don’t you?” An overdesigned humanoid figure appeared behind her. “My stand! Motorhead! Come one  then, bring it!”

“Hmmm Aubrey… this will be cathartic.” Kel said.

“Oh you have no idea just how much.” She smiled.

They clashed, exchanging blow for blow with incredible speed.

Coming through, coming through, coming through Shake it like it's heat, Overdrive!

With each punch Aubrey’s stand yelled “Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color! Gross Color!”

And so on for like 7 pages.

“Why… why am I getting weaker?” Kel asked.

“That’s the power of my stand, my bad bitch personality drains your life away, with each hit your self-esteem lowers and soon you’ll be like fanon Sunny.”

“Fuck.” Kel fainted.

“Alright…” Aubrey’s stand went away. “Can someone explain to me wtf is going on!?”

“Domestic violence!” She heard Omori happily yell behind her as he punched her in the head, knocking her out.

Omori lifted his knife above Aubrey. “Now, time to turn you into scrunkly scrimblo dream versions.” Omori stopped before he stabbed Aubrey, he dropped the knife on the floor and started to shake. “Sunny! Not fucking now! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Omori run into the elevator. “Sunny!!!!!!1!!!” He screamed one last time before doors closed. That primal rage woke Basil up.

“What happened?” Hero woke up.

“I think Sunny got possessed.” Mari said.

“wat?” Aubrey asked. “By who?”

“That little fuck.” Mari hissed. “Omori, he’s been inside Sunny’s head ever since the incident.”

“Oh him, I was wondering when he will pull a shit like that.” Hero said.

“What?”

“Oh man that idiot, he finally did it.” Aubrey said.

“Ok… who knew about Omori?” Mari asked.

“Me!” Hero, Aubrey and Basil raised their hands, Kel too mentally.

“And you knew that he wanted to kill us?”

“Yep.”

“Have you seen the mail?” Basil asked. “We get a death threat from him like every Thursday.”

“WHY DID NO ONE SAID ANYTHING!” Mari yelled as her hair aligned into inverted bob.

“Idk plot I guess.” Aubrey shrugged.

“Fair enough.”

“So what now?” Hero asked.

“Well Sunny… Omori went up the elevator so we better go catch him.” Basil said.

“Right, Basil can you hack the elevator?”

“I’ll try.” Basil put his finger in a control panel, it made a sound of usb being plugged in.

“Well?” Aubrey was impatient.

“Hold on steam is updating… Ok aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand nope, Sunny broke the control panel inside, I can’t do shit.”

Meanwhile in the elevator

Omori decided that his gonna just stand there peacefully since this elevator goes up to upper atmosphere, he leaned his back against elevator’s wall and his heavy space marine armor crushed the buttons.

Meanwhile somewhere in space

Ba-ba-biddly-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba We are Number One Hey!

Doom Slayer, Samus Aran, Master Chief and Isaac Clarke danced and sung while committing mass genocide on some not human things.

“You know with all those meanwhile jokes we’re just missing a Family Guy cutaway gag.” Hero said.

“Oh you mean like that time I was on Family Guy?” Basil asked.

Knock Knock

“I’ll get the door Lois.” Peter Griffin said as he walked up to the door and opened it.

“Babil Omori?”   

“Ok… so how do we save Sunny then?” Aubrey asked.

“We’ll have to go upstairs.” Hero said.

“U-upstairs?” Mari became afraid.

“Come on Mari you can do this!” Basil cheered her on.

Mari slowly and steadily put one foot on the first step and immediately slipped and broke her neck.

Mari X 68

“Ah fuck, there goes another life.” Mari said. “Looks like Hero will have to carry me.” She had the most overused by fandom smug smile on her.

“K” Hero said.

Aubrey meanwhile picked up unconscious Kel. “He’s going with us, we’re all in this together.” She turned into Vin Diesel for a second. “He’s family!” 

On top of hospital’s roof Omori could see the stars, they were basically in space with gravity.

“So what now?” Omori asked.

“Omorbin time is over.” Sunny forced Omori to walk his body to the edge with broken hand rails.

Sunny turned on his heel, gave a quick salute and dropped off the roof of the Faraway hospital.

Chapter Text

“Sunny is going down!” Hero yelled as he looked over the hole in the balcony!

“Going down!?” Aubrey asked.

“Going down!” Hero yelled again.

“Sunny is going down…” She looked at Mari. “My fair lady, what can we do.”

Basil poked Mari. “Maybe do that thing that you can do.”

“Ah right I completely forgot.” Mari smiled. “THE WORLD!”

Time has stopped. Sunny was suspended in the air.

“Now, for some more psychic fucky wacky that I could do this entire time. At least Sunny’s KDA won’t be 1…46646780913543/1/9393939393969. I feel like I should have a talk with him about that, later. Anyway, back to the topic at hand.” Mari spread out her arms, said some stuff in ancient Greek and closed her eyes.

Welcome to White Space x5 or more like welcome to jungle! We got fun and games We got everything you want

“And uno!” Mari heard Sunny’s voice.

“You bitch!” Omori yelled.

“Well that’s settled, gimme back my body or I’m suing, I won fair and rectangle.” Sunny said.

“Sunny!” Mari and the other said as they run up to him. Except for Kel, even in dream world he was still unconscious and getting carried by Aubrey. 

“Wassup. I just won my body back. But thx for visiting my head, dontlookthroughttheseptember222018memorieskthx.”

“Sus.” Aubrey said.

“Amogus!” A deep voice came from within Basil, one of the strange gimmicks that was programed in him was that every time someone says anything related to among us, it will automatically play the Amogus voice line followed by among us drip music.

“I’m not giving it back.” Omori said in a deadpan voice.

“Then fuck you and I’ll see you in court.”

“Not if I kill you all first!” Omori said as he pulled out his knife out of his drip pocket.

“Merc this bitch!” Aubrey said and they all charged into battle.

On a cold winter morning In the time before the light In flames of Death's eternal reign We ride towards the fight When the darkness has fallen down And the times are tough, alright The sound of evil laughter falls Around the world tonight

Hero punched Omori.

Sunny slashed him.

Mari called the police on him.

Aubrey beat the shit out of him.

Basil shot him.

Kel was gurgling on the floor.

And it all did nothing.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU ABSLOUTE BAFOONS!” Omori laughed. “This drip was forged by George Luckas himself! Deep within the darkest corners of Disney HQ! It was made with special kind of fabric, hand crafted by martian monks using the wool of 300000 years old water sheep’s that decide the fate of this universe! In other words, you can’t hurt me.”

“Bullshit!” Aubrey attempted to attack him again, and Omori dodged all of it, gathering style points in the process.

Drip sidestep + Drip roll + Drip drag + Drip drag + Drip drag + Drip jump + Drip neck dodge

879676,988799 Points!

“Heh, what did I just say?” Omori just said.

“Crap baskets.” Aubrey said as she got shot with an energy blast. She fell right onto Sunny’s arms… guess it wasn’t all so bad. “Well we can’t win, so what now?”

“Omori may think that he has the upper hand, but we still have something far stronger, since I’m a weeb this should work here.” Sunny said.

“No……” Omori head him and he knew what’s coming.

“All of us working together.” Sunny  continued.

“No no no.”

“We’re family!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

“And we have the POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!” Sunny said triumphantly.

“FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCC-“ Omori rushed at them.

“Sunny’s right!” Hero yelled. “We can win!”

“Combo him!” Mari said.

Sunny cached Omori’s punch, tighten him grip on the trauma boy’s hand and smacked him couple of times on the ground. “Drip joke was so last year!”

Aubrey jumped in, boking Omori so hard even the horny jail could accept an inmate like that. “Your jordans are fake!”

Mari dropped kicked him. “You look radicicolous!”

Hero did a split and punched Omori in the dick. “Bootleg UI Goku looking ass.”

Basil poked him in the eye. “We’ll show you who’s Supreme!”

“NO this can’t be happening!” Omori flew up. “I must win! By any means necessary^TM!” He fired a powerful energy beam, it was strong to the point where I start to wonder why am I taking so much stuff from dragon ball in this. Hey did you know that in my headcanon Hero is a dragon ball fan since he was born in the mid 90’s.

“Oh yeah?” Mari mocked him. “Well get ready for our strongest attack. Come on everyone, all together now!”

ULTIMATE THERAPHY BLAST!

And so the beam struggle started. Seem like both sides were evenly matched.

“I hope I’m not too late.” Someone said behind them.

“Kel!” They all said.

“Hey guys… sorry for being an ass earlier.” Kel said as he was back to normal aka evil eyeliner was gone. “We still homies?”

“Yeah…” Sunny nodded and smiled. “We still homies.”

“Ok, but after all of this is done I need to be treated better by EVERYONE, k?”

“K!” They all said. “Sorry for getting your angst wrong, and lack of ships, and repetitive memes, and everything else.”

“Cool.” Kel said as he joined his friends and fired his blast as well. That appeared to be enough to overpower Omori.

“Damniiiiiiit!” Omori said.

“Just a lil more!” Sunny grunted.

And they pushed through, sending Omori away with a bang!

“NOOOOOOOOOOO FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-“

“Huff huff Dress for less you sonofa bitch.” Sunny said.

They walked over to where Omori was laying on the ground, broken and defeated as a sad 16but chiptune music played.

“I guess this is the part where I spare the villain that is connected to me in some way.” Sunny said.

“This is the part where you spare the villain that is connected to you in some way.” Mari nodded.

“So what do you say Omori, wanna join us take down 2012 memes?” Sunny offered his hand.

“Can… Can we still have Omorbin time?” Omori asked.

“Yes, we can still have it, without need to kill us. I’ll get you and your friends into real world I promise, I’ll help you make your own plushies.”

Omori smiled as he took Sunny’s hand.

Meanwhile Kel, Aubrey and Basil were bawling their eyes out at such emotional scene.

“Aight we gotta go.” Mari said. “Time stop is over in like 3 seconds.” 

“K I ttyl Omor bye.”

Sunny woke up suspended in falling. “Huh, that was an unnecessary subplot.” He started to fall again.

“I got him!” Basil said as he jumped off the hospital and transformed into a jet. “Hop in!” Basil told Sunny as he got close and opened his cockpit… heh cock.

Sunny jumped in.

“Hmmmmmm…” Basil hummed happily.

“What is it?”

“It’s the second today that you’re in me.” Basil said.

…

“Where’s the eject button?” Sunny asked.

“Oh come on Sunny I’m just doing a mild amount of tomfoolery.”

“Ok fine, but we need to tune down on the sex jokes.”

“Why? We’re 18 in this.” Basil asked.

“Yeah but… twitter.”

“Ah gotcha. Anyway, we’re back on the roof.”

“Oh pog.” Sunny jumped out of Basil jet. “Hey guys, thx for help back there. Anyway, so what we doing now?”

“Well…” Hero looked around. “We still gotta stop Leonidas but he’s too strong for us so idk.”

“Oh but I have an idea.” Sunny smiled. “We can’t beat him in a 6v1 but how about 7v1? He Omori you wanna fuse our powers?”

“K.”

Sunny body flashed with pure white color and his eyes became empty for a moment as energy engulfed him. Then it exploded, Sunny looked the same, but he felt far stronger. “Let’s fuck this fucker the fuck up.”

“Leonidas must be stopped, no matter the cost.” Basil transformed into a truck.

You got the touch You got the power YEAH

They jumped into a Basiltruck and proceeded to bust through every wall, getting closer to Leonidas that they truck down by Hero doxing him. On their way they run over every henchman Leonidas still had.

“Oh they have a cave troll.” Hero pointed at someone standing in the dark.

“No wait, that’s Mikhael.” Aubrey said.

“Mikhael?” Basil tuned into his direction and sped up massively.

You’ve been hit by You’ve been stuck by Truck!

Basil run the Maverick over.

Mari peeked out of the window. “Is he dead?”

Basil turned the side view mirror slightly to see Mikhael getting up. “No.” Basil turned gear into reverse.

Meanwhile in Asia Minor

“The ladders are at the walls! Now comes the measure of your soldiers courage!”

“They gates are down and our troops should be ordered forward. Begin the slaughter!”

“Cataphracts! Charge!”

“Cataphract archers! Forward! Fire at will!”

“Arminian legionares! Move out!”

Meanwhile in Poland

“Alright if I hurry up I can finish this by the end of the day.” I said couple of days ago.

Steam notifies that Sonic Frontiers has been downloaded.

“I guess I can put this off for a day.”

5 days later.

I'm here Reaching far across these new frontiers With my life I fight this fear In my hands I hold the ones I love Walk forward through the cold dawn Always to new horizons

“Wait what was I doing again? Oh btw yours truly has been shadow banned from all yt live chats, unless if I’m a mod apparently. Cool I’m glad I can’t talk to my friends while they stream, thx yt.” I said in the most murderous passive aggressive tone.

Meanwhile in a poorly lit and very spacious room

Leonidas was standing on a podium, speaking to the crowd hidden in the dark. “My friends, soon… soon we will return to mainstream, soon we will have our revenge, soon we will be epic again!”

A loud car horn interrupted him.

Basil broke through the wall of the room and transformed back into squishy lil bagel boi.

“Not so fast King Leonidas I of Sparta!” Mari stepped forward and pointed at him like an action hero. Well truth be told she does have a hero.

“You again?! Kel, you betray me?” He said.

“Yeah pretty much.” Kel said.

“Fuck. So, ready to get your asses kicked again?” Leonidas asked.

“Bring it!” They entered battle stances.

“This is Sparta!” Leonidas kicked Sunny. Sunny blocked it. “Oh… poop.”

“This this bitch!” Aubrey yelled.

Yet another wombo combo was committed, too amazing to describe, too incredible to behold.

And yet he stood, like he did with his 300 dudes.

“Ok this is getting nowhere.” Sunny said. “Leonidas! I challenge you to you a duel.” Sunny took out a strange card and a small black metal ball.

“Ah I see, and I accept.” Leonidas had his card ready.

“Everyone, hold on to me.” Sunny said and his friends, and his sister, and his future wife did as he asked.   

“Field open!” Sunny and Leonidas said in unison as Sunny’s card glowed purple and Leonidas’s red.

They entered a different dimension, the gang stood across an empty field with Leonidas on the other site.

“Gate card set!” They both threw their gate cards.

Leonidas threw a red ball on his gate card. “Bakugan brawl! Bakugan stand! Rise Pyrus Siege!”

Pyrus Siege – power level 390

Sunny begun to laugh like a maniac just like he always wanted, he had an expression of an anime psychopath, it was so scary his friends backed away a step.

“You fool, you fell right into my trap!” A dark ball begun to emit strange smoke in his hand. “Bakugan brawl!” Sunny threw it to fight Siege. “Bakugan Stand! Kill him… Darkus Phantom Dharak!” Sunny casually summoned a bakugan responsible for 95% of casualties in season 3.

2 minutes later.

Leonidas was defeated. “No this can’t be.”

Sunny bend over him. “Do you know the difference between a wimp and a man like me? Your mama.” He threw a small box at him.

“What… is this.” Leonidas turn it around to see its cover. It was Prince of Persia.

Leonidas died.

The voices from the dark begin to whisper amoungus them. Sunny and Basil had unpleasant flashbacks.

“OK what’s going on here?” Aubrey flipped the light switch and what they saw terrified them.

The room… it was full of 2000’s and early 2010’s memes. Rage face, derp, forever alone, troll face (not the eldritch version), dancing baby gif, nyan cat and so many more were there, even some newer faces were present such as an army of ugandan knuckleses in the back.

“I guess all Leonidas wanted to do is bring back the old memes.” Mari said. “Should we let them back, little brother?”

Sunny took a moment to think about, about all the good times he had with those memes while doing lockdown before it was cool.

“Hmmmmmmm… nah. Go away all of you, you’re outdated, sho sho.”

The old memes withdrew into the shadows where they belong.

“Hold on a second.” Hero said. “Santa said Leonidas was doing all of this as revenge for global warming, but in reality he wanted to bring back old memes… so Santa lied, but why?”

“Hmmm.” Basil pressed a button on himself. “Computer, what are the chances that Santa planed on betraying us from the beginning?”

“Calculating… chances are 1…0…0%”

“Wait that’s a hundred.” Sunny said as the energy behind them heat up the air.

Santa has absorbed Leonidas’s power and became incredibly buffed to the point where you could grind meat on his abs. “Hohoho Now behold the power of mighty Claus!”

“But why?!” Aubrey asked.

“Because I deserve some respect! Because I want to remind people the TRUE meaning of Christmas!”

“Birth of Jesus?”

“Yes! I mean no! ME! Everyone is like ‘oh the true meaning of Christmas is family and time we spend together’. What about me? I sweat my ass off to deliver almost 8 billion gifts in span of 24 hours! I started this shit when I was just a guy delivering bread to people’s doorsteps in Myra, I expended my business, I became an icon and yet I still have shit talked about me!”

“Santa, if I may…” Kel walked up to him. “I know what’s it like, when people mistreat you, misunderstand your message, and you just end up not even being yourself… but that’s not the way, you’ll only ruin yourself further and hurt those you care about. So please, instead of beating people up, try to remind them why you and gifts matter in the first place.”

Santa powered down. “You… you’re right Kel, I’m sorry. I’ll make sure this will be the best year for me and everyone else. Thank you again young warriors, and Merry Christmas.” Santa disappeared within snow.

“It’s November!” Sunny yelled. “So what now?”

“Celebrations?” Mari asked.

“Fuck yeah!” They all replied.

I Well, party party party I wanna have a party I need to have a party You better have a party

The next day

Sunny woke up, his vision was blurry, he was laying on something hard, it was a bit dark. “Wha… What happened?” He noticed a window, Hero and Mari were looking out of it, they looked worried. Then Mari saw that Sunny woke up, she immediately run up to him and slapped him across the face. “Ouch! What was that for?”

Mari looked really really REALLY pissed. “Everything! And same goes for all of you!” She yelled at Kel, Basil and Aubrey that also were waking up.

“Where are we? What is going on?” Aubrey asked.

“Of course you don’t fucking remember, you all passed out drunk!” Mari continue to yell until Hero put his hand on her shoulder.

“Let me handle this sweety. So we’re currently hiding in a warehouse in NYC.” Hero walked back to the window, it was a beautiful dusk outside. “After you guys started drinking things go… dicey. First Kel left a bag of burning poop outside of Microsoft HQ, except no one came to extinguish it and he set the whole building on fire while yelling at them to fix excel. Then Sunny acquired an orbital cannon, took over every TV station and threaten to blow up the planet but instead did THIS.” Hero pointed at almost set sun. There was a text written on it saying ‘Susny was here’. “And then Aubrey and Basil… You two decided that you want to go karaoke in a pub. Except you just had to pick Calm Down by Busta Rhymes as your song!”

“What’s wrong with it?” Basil asked.

“That song has 19 n-words.”

“… did we?”

“Mostly Aubrey.”

“So now we’re hiding, since the whole world wants us dead.” Mari said.

Sirens came from the outside. They been found.

“This is Obama speaking. Came out with your hands in the air or we will use force.”

Aubrey walked out of the warehouse. “Oh yeah, just try to stop us-“

Sunny quickly jumped forward to cover her mouth.

“you ni

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iQLNR9btr4

After suffering through twitter cancelation Aubrey made a speedy recovery, she’s currently getting married with Sunny. So shhh they are being cute.

Kel got all the respect form fandom he wanted and beachball became a far more popular ship in the fandom. He’s happy.

Mari and Hero took a long vacation in Mongolia. They like it.

Basil became a main star of Metal Gear Rising 2.

Sunny held up his end of the bargain and made Omori and his friends real. They are now working as a hired mercenary group.

“Yeah like that’s ever gonna happen… what a lot of-“

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed

The End… or more like the beginning? Go watch Shrek now.