Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was twenty till midnight and the disco was packed with bell-bottoms, colorful lights and people dancing in every open space.

And there James was.

He had gotten there right after work and had been dancing and talking since he arrived. An exhausting but exhilarating experience for James.

(Authors note: I was totally born in the wrong decade. I would’ve thrived in the 70s if technology like this existed then as a punk. Now everyone is just normal and makes fun of me for being emo…they have no idea that I’m not supposed to be here. I’m supposed to be there, with James and Coolguymaster, In the 70s)

After a few more minutes of this, finally tapped out of the dancing, his ears high and alert as he walked to the bar and ordered a Martini on the rocks and of safe consumption for a dogboy and started towards the more empty back of the disco and started chatting with people, before he noticed a door at the end of a dark hallway.

Curiosity quickly got the better of James and he slowly inched toward the door, looking back to see if anyone was watching him until he finally reached the knob of the door and turned it. The door revealed the outside of the disco, a dark, alleyway, but with the shadows of people and distant music.

Punks

James pulled himself back into the disco, scared they might’ve heard. (They couldn’t cause they were looking for the Dead Kennedy’s) and then started opening the door, more quietly and tiptoeing carefully to the sound his ears were picking up on.

Before he could move out of the way, a guy headbanged into him. And he saw them. A gaggle of punks. All adorned with soft hair dyed red, white and black, some covered by beanies and cool T Shirts of bands like Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins and Radiohead.

They all immediately stopped and sneered at him, asking him mean questions like “why are you here, loser?” Or “get out of here, you creepy weirdo” and “you’re really bugging everyone, can you leave?” Like jerks, well, all but one of them.

After the downpour of comments started, they were only stopped by one guy’s hand.

Chapter Text

A man walked out from the group of punks, revealing himself to have jet black hair, covering one side of his face, tired black orbs for eyes and a Green Day shirt.

“GUYS. Stop. He’s just a disco boy. He’s not doing anything wrong. What do you want, Disco boy?” The man asked, crossing his arms.

James’ palms got sweaty and he could feel his toes wriggling in his shoes before he tried to speak;

“I-um I-w-was just wondering what was b-b-behind that door?” He claimed, pointing to the door he walked out of.

“Well this ain’t some disco after dark zone, this is the punk area and we don’t appreciate your type. I’m Coolguymaster by the way.” Coolguymaster, the main punk said

“Oh, well–My name is…um well…it’s James. Pretty boring, I know” James replied, now shy and brushing the hair in his face out with his fingers.

The punks all backed off a little more as Coolguymaster stepped up in James’ face to say; “It’s a fine name. Bad self talk is not very punk, and if you’re gonna be around us, you need to at least act like a punk, James.” Coolguymaster practically spat at James.

“Uh, you got it, dude! My name is pretty decent! Thank you-”

“Don’t thank me.” coolguymaster quipped “and feel free to look around.” He continued.

James took this invitation with vigor as he explored the little alleyway, checking for anything interesting around, until he found a rat sitting on top of a barrel. He reached out to touch it, but before his hand and the rat made contact, Coolguymaster grabbed James hand and looked him on the eye;

“Don’t touch him. He’s our leader. His name is Julius Cheeser.” Coolguymaster shot.

James nodded and ventured through the rest of the alley, walls and floors covered in news paper, countless boombox stereos, both broken and working. Puddles of oil and water trying to mix together and even a trash can fire. The punks watched him with evil eyes as he moved throughout there terf and Coolguymaster held a hand out to keep them from attacking.

After an uncomfortably long silence as he looked around, James announced that he was going to head back to the disco area.

“I’m going to arrive back at the disco section”

Coolguymaster snickered and led him to the door by the shoulder. “Well, it was lovely to meet you, disco boy. Have fun at your disco”

With that James nodded and waddled back to the hallway in the Loud and colorful club.

Suddenly, as he was wandering around, he ran into Zethy and Maraselaf. Maraselaf quickly started “where were you? You said you were here almost thirty minutes ago!” She clucked and fussed.

Zethy smiled a little and nodded along with Maraselaf as she ranted.

“I mean you could’ve told me you weren’t here yet or something!”

James stood there, blinking until finally speaking up "I'm sorry Mara...I-got lost from the room!" he stumbled to Maraselaf's suspicion.

"okay I can forget it for now, but I swear to God if you do that agai-" Maraselaf was cut off by Zethy rolling her eyes and pulling Maraself into a circle to dance. They are such good friends inside and outside of work.

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It wasn't long until James found himself in the center of a mass of bodies, aggressively gyrating around him like leaves in the wind and the lights-oh the lights were hypnotic. There wasn't a better place to be on a night he didn't have to wake up for. He wasn't at the firm, he didn't have college classes the next day.

It was perfect.

But like all perfect nights, the one had to end. After dancing, lounging at the bar, then dancing some more, Zethy and Maraselaf were completely tired out and ready to go home. James was worried that Maraselaf was far too drunk to take herself home, but Zethy was there to disignated drive.

This comforted James, now drinking a margarita on the rocks he waved goodbye at the two, Maraselaf flipping him off while giggling, and Zethy shrugging with a smile before shoving a helmet on Maraselaf's head and getting the both of them on her Vespa (Author's note: vespas are so cool. I would kill to be there right now).

James sipped the last of the margarita down and started to order another, but the bartender cut him off "I'm cutting you off" he said.

James huffed and growled at the bartender, before noticing...he was one of the punks from earlier! James quickly fixed his attitude and tried to continue the conversation. "Oh, I remember you...I didn't think you guys all worked at the disco-"

"we don't, just me. The names Jim, Jim Halpert. Wbu?" Jim cut off James as he grabbed his margarita glass to start washing it.

"My name is-um-j-j-James, why do you as-" James started shyly before he was cut off by Jim starting.

"why are you drinkin so much tonight, James?"

"oh you know, the usual. lonely, bored, wanted to fill the lonliness with noise. So I came h-" James was mumbling until he felt tears forming in his eyes. Jim looked back at him knowingly.

"I get it. the ol' case of unrequited love amirite? I get it. There's this guy I know-Michael, that I've loved for awhile. I don't think he'll ever like me. He likes disco too." Jim comforted James with a pat on the shoulder.

James wiped his tears, smiled at Jim "I see, well I'm so sorry about that, but that's not what's up with me. I just have a case of the lonlies-"

"that's what they all say. Trust me-You'll understand soon." Jim said with a wink

James cocked his head with confusion but then shrugged it off, accepting a glass of water from Jim. Before he could thank, Jim, he started again. "say, you look like you could use a ride home. There's not many people left. I think I have a friend that is not drunk that could give you a ride...sound good?"

James nodded and took a lap from his water glass and got up. Jim jerked his head towards the terrifying punk hallway door. James gulped and started with him with a shake. Tail metaphorically between his legs.

Chapter Text

Coolguymaster shuffled out of the allyway and looked at the bar, hoping to see a beautiful woman, but instead seeing James the disco boy from earlier. Coolguymaster didn’t hate James or anything, he just didn’t match his vibe and he was so nervous…it kind of made Coolguymaster nervous by pronxy.

coolguymaster threw James a helmet and lept on his Ducati Monster Motorcycle. James just stood there, looking in awe before a wave of anxiety washed over him. Coolguymaster cocked his head, telling James to get on. "Get on" He said.

James finally started inching towards the motorcycle. Coolguymaster rolled his eyes until James said "ar-ar-are you sure this is s-s-safe?" with tears forming in his eyes, Coolguymaster's demeanor softened. he nodded his head and patted the small seat right behind his own.

James went to sit on it and rapping his arms around Coolguymaster's waist and immediately feeling awkward that he did it without being told first. So he took his arms off; "why did you do that? do you want to fall off of the cycle and die bruh?" Coolguymaster questioned. James put his arms back around Coolguymaster.

Coolguymaster turned on the motorcycle and James immediately started shaking and getting ready to cry and pass out until he heard Coolguymaster say "It's alright, dude, It's just a Motorcycle" as he started pulling off the sidewalk he parked on. James took some deep breaths and returned back to normal.

Coolguymaster was speeding down the highway when he asked "where do you live, Disco Boy?" Coolguymaster asked. James jolted a little and started murmuring.

"wh-why do you um-ask?"

Coolguymaster looked over his shoulder "because I need to take you HOME." he said, rolling his eyes.

"oh..um yeah, I live on 324 Birch Creek" James stuttered while squinting through the wind beating against him on the motorcycle while he tried to see Coolguymaster's face. Coolguymaster looked back and smirked his trademark smirk.

"alrighty, well, that means we'll have to take a sharp turn to make the exit!" Coolguymaster smiled and stared at James as he grimaced at the aggressive U-Turn Coolguymaster made. Cars honked and people yelled out at them, but Coolguymaster just flipped them off and sped off, black orbs sparkling in the night.

Coolguymaster sighed and started flipping through channels on the radio "Do you like the Suicide Machines?" Coolguymaster turned to ask James, now feebly nodding, face white as a horse.

"I've never heard of them" James admitted, worried it would upset Coolguymaster.

"It's okay, no one knows em'. I swear every time I ask, people lie to me. They always claim they've listened--even my Punk bros. they just nod and say yes, like I don't know that The Suicide Machines are serious underground punk. The world is full of fakes and liars, James. I'm glad you aren't one of those two faced samers. You have punk potential." Coolguymaster said, putting an hand on James' shoulder. (Authors Note: this is loosely based off of a convo I had with one of the jerk jocks in my class that caused me to get called a nipple sucker in front of my crush. I told this guy that he's too dumb to understand what real music is. he tried to tell me that his music taste was at the same level as or higher than my own, and I hate myself, but my music taste is phenomonal, so of course I put him in his place by asking if he had even heard of the Suicide Machines, Radio Head, MGK, or YungBlood, and of course he didn't. I'm sure my crush wants to kill me now tho. I wouldn't blame her. It was evil of me to do that to him.)

Coolguymaster turned onto James' street and turned down his music started counting house numbers until he was at 325 Birch Creek. "well, here we are, Disco boy. Ready to check in for the night?" Coolguymaster said, leaping of his Motorcycle. James carefully removed himself from straddling the motocycle and taking off his helmet. Coolguymaster took the helmet and James bowed his head slightly, thanking Ooolguymaster for the ride and heading to his door, but he couldn't help but noticed how the helmet he wore sparkled in the moonlight, just like Coolguymaster's eyes.

"Thank you for the ride, Coolguymaster-"

"don't worry about it, Disco boy" Coolguymaster interrupted, studying James' boring, cookie cutter house.

James smiled and started to unlock his door, now staring once again at the helmet before finally getting in and closing the door.

Chapter Text

James closed the door and leaned his back on it, slowly falling to his knees with a confused smile on his face. He was in love with this Biker, whoever he really was. James could not wait to see him the next day no matter how it would happen.

After thinking for way too long about Coolguymaster on his bike James got up from his welcome mat and went to his bedroom. He couldn't stop thinking about it no matter how he tried to busy his brain from thinking about the scary man that brought him home mere moments ago.

He finally got up from the front door when he heard his landline ring, making him jump and run to the kitchen counter where his orange landline phone sat.

"James house, who is there?" James asked meekly before being even more startled by the response.

"You left your wallet in my motorcycle. I'm coming back." IT WAS COOLGUYMASTER

"oh-oh! um-w-w-well you don't have to! I-I can just swing b-by and get it t-t-tomorrow, Coolguy!" James stammered while twirling the phone cord around his finger.

"No It's alright. I'm almost there anyway. Do you have any food?" Coolguymaster asked casually.

James got up and went to his fridge, phone tucked into the crook of his neck as he went to check the status of his fridge. It was completely empty. James panicked and said "No, but my neighbors definitely will! Let me go ask"

"Okay"

James practically flew out the door full of excitement that Coolguymaster was coming back, but the excitement quickly suobsieded when he was about to knock on his neighbor's door. "I'm scared what if he gets mad at me?" James whispered into the phone, hand still about to knock on the door.

Coolguymaster audible sighed over the phone "Just do it, okay? I'm sure he won't mind too much." Coolguymaster sighed, now speeding up on his Motorcycle.

James took a deep breath and knocked. He could hear groaning and feet getting out of bed and going to the door and opening it. It was his neighbor in a nightgown and cap, with a small candle lighting his way. "Can I help you?" His neighbor asked in a dry, creaky voice.

"Oh! um-do you have ayn snacks I could have? I have someone coming over to hang out and I need some food, but I don't think I'll make it to the store in time...d-d-do you thinking you can help?" James belted before flinching and waiting to hear the neighbor talk.

"Oh yeah sure...who's the lucky girl?" The neighbor asked gesturing to James' covered phone. James looked away and started trying to explain, only making it worse.

"I UM-H-She's not a lucky girl-n-b-nnot like that! and-and but she's coming over and I don't want her to think I'
m a loser!" James failed to explain.

"sure buddy, tell me how it goes in the morning. I'll go get you some cookies" The younger neighbor smirked at James and went to his kitchen to get the cookies.

"Okay he's going to get us snacks!" James said cutely, uncovering the phone and speaking to Coolguymaster. He could hardly believe he was coming back still.

"Great. I'm five minutes away." Coolguymaster said before quickly hanging up the phone. James felt like he was having hot flashes, but snapped out of it when his neighbor came back out. He wished his neighbor didn't ruin the moment, but James always appreciates cookies!

James happily took the cookies and ran back to his house, picking up whatever he could before he heard a knock at the door.

Coolguymaster.

He opened the door for Coolguymaster and watched in awe as he walked in the house with so much dominance, looking around the interior like he was stiffly judging it. He then started sniffing the air and made a beline to the kitchen and grabbed the plate of cookies and eating all but a few in one bite.

James watched in awe before snapping out of it and then asking about his wallet. Coolguymaster tossed his wallet at James with persision, James fumbled the wallet until it was safely in his hands. Coolguymaster then wordlessly started to leave. James was hoping for much more to happen, but was happy to aid Coolguymaster in his cookie needs,

It was only a few seconds later that Coolguymaster burst back inside.

"Somebody slashed my tires" He proclaimed "Do you have a guestroom?" James did not.

Chapter Text

"n-no!" James yelped, stepping back from the question.

"okay. I'm gonna CALL some towing places to see if any of them can take my WHIP." Coolguymaster replied, stepping to the phone that James was using moments ago.

Coolguymaster called every towing place in a 100 mile vicnity, but none of them were open this late.

"none of them took my call" coolguymaster stared lasers into James' eyes before asking again "is there anywhere I can sleep here?"

James looked from side to side at his house before saying "well-there's the couch and the floor and-" James faltered "...and I guess there's always my b-b-b-bed but obviously you wouldn't want t-"

"perfect. now do you wanna sit on the couch and watch some tv or something? or do you usually go to bed this early?" coolguymaster snickered, looking at the clock above the tv and then plopping himself on one side of the couch and looking up at James expectantly.

"uh yeah we can watch tv! I think pet cemetery is on soon, so we can watch that! (authors note: pet cemetery is one of my favorite movies. I don't know if you guys (if anyone still even looks at my art) have seen it (it's pretty indie so I doubt many), but I highly think you should watch it) James said nervously, knowing he couldn't handle scary movies well, but thinking that it would impress coolguymaster. Coolguymaster just grabbed the remote and flipped through channels until he found the movie.

James sat down nervously, watching Coolguymaster find the channel, and watched the pleasant beginnning of the movie, getting quite upset at the cemetery full of dogs and cats, but trying not to let it be known. then the horror started. James flinched at the scary images on the screen and became squished into his couch like a scared puppy, hoping the other man wouldn't notice and then they could go to sleep.

By the time the movie ended, James was practically pressed next to coolguymaster and he did not notice until coolguymaster sighed at the credits that he yipped and scooched away from coolgumaster. Coolguymaster nodded in James' general direction, making him feel slightly better about his actions, then he realized he would be sharing a bed with coolguymaster and he had no idea what he was like while he was asleep. for all he knew he talked in his sleep, and that would be so embarrassing!

Coolguymaster abruptly stood up and started towards James' bedroom and threw hiself into one side of the bed. James got up nervously and followed his lead, carefully getting into the bed, as far from coolguymaster as he could manage without falling. Coolguymaster noticed this and tried to put more distance between them, so James could lay fully on the bed. Typical disco boy. so afraid of sharing a bed with another man, for what reason? it didn't have to be weird if james didn't kaem it weird. This is why coolguymaster stuck to his fellow punks and rats of course, rats always had his back.

James slowly moved fully onto the bed and turned to face the wall, shutting his eyes as hard as he could, eventually thinking that it had been long enough for Coolguymaster to have fallen asleep. James turned slowly, now facing into the bed and coolguymaster's sleeping face! James blushed, looking at the sleeping punk next to him, thinking that he looked so at peace when he was sleeping, not at all like the coolguymaster James had come to know. james wished for a moment that he could get to know this cuter coolguymaster a little better before snapping out of it when Coolguymaster's eyes snapped open, his dark orbs piercing James'. James yelped and turned around, now sweating profusely and hoped that Coolguymaster was just sleeping and that he just did that in his sleep.

"like what you see? " coolguymaster asked, snickering at James' back, watching it tense up. James' eyes became wide.

"I-i-i um...I was just maing sure you weren't dead! wouldn't want a dead person in my bed with me haha goodnight!" James almost yelled, pulling the coveres up to his neck.

"well I wasn't" Coolguymaster replied before turning and pulling up the covers a little as well.

after what felt like hours, James finally felt sleep coming at him and quickly overtaking him. Coolguymaster on the otherhand did not sleep a wink all night. sometimes he stared up at the ceiling, sometimes at the wall, and a lot of times at James in his various positions. Coolguymaster smiled at James' sleeping face looking at nothing, and decided tpp capture the moment.

Coolguynmaster pulled a camera from his pocket and snapped a photo of James before turning around and staring at the photo on the camera's small screen.

Chapter Text

When James woke up, Coolguymaster was gone…from bed. He was in the house. James could smell the delicious aroma of bacon and ham. He let this smell lift him from bed and into the kitchen-living room.

Coolguymaster was at the stove, moving the sizzling meats around to saok up the oil. James shyly walked up to the counter, watching Coolguymaster and his rats cook. Once Coolguymaster realizes James’ presents, he becomes startled and flings a piece of sizzling ham at James. James catches the ham in his mouth and swallows it whole with a gulp and a smile :)

Coolguymaster steps back from the stove, taking the pan with him and pouring the contents on a plate and tossing it on the table. James sits down and has a sudden realization.

“Hey I didn’t have Ham and bacon in my fridge…did you go out and get some at the store? How did you get there? Wait-did you use my car?” James is halfway through praying that Coolguymaster hadn’t seen his chew toy console or his bone glove box when coolguymaster interrupts his worry

“NO, my motorcycle IS broken.” coolguymaster shoves a piece of bacon in his mouth with large amounts of vigour.

“Then where did you get this stuff from? Did the rats get it for you!?!?!” James is growing confused. Maybe he forgot about putting these things in his fridge? No he would’ve gobbled them up by now, James never forgets about bacon and ham.

“The RATES certainly did HELP” Coolguymaster says before very nonchalantly shiving another slice of ham in his mouth. James thinks about this and then smiles and eats another piece of bacon.

“I-I uhm I didn’t know you would do that for me…thank you!” James cries, the rats not running out of an open window.

Coolguymaster smiles and finishes chewing. “I also called the TOWING SERVICE and they are on THEIR way to come and get my WHIP bbg” Coolguymaster replies, gesturing towards the phone on the table. James’ heart drops a little when Coolguymaster says he already called. Did this mean he wanted to leave that badly? God he must hate James (author’s note: I remember when I was like James…Happy, giddy, joyous…then someone had to ruin it. My first crush…she told me I was the worst thing like ever and then it all came crashing down…I was only 11 years old…). Maybe he was too annoying.

“Oh…u-um that’s cool! Well I-I’ll just clean up around here I guess…and hope that I see you again C-C-Coolguymaster” James starts to water. He hopes that this doesn’t come across.

“YEAH. Well I should be heading OUT.” Coolguyaster replied really smoothly while getting up and heading towards the door. James quickly turned around to hide the tears now falling from his head. “B-b-b-bye coolguymaster!!”

Coolguy looked back briefly, but heard the tow truck beeping into the driveway, then closed the door behind them.

Once the door clicked shut, James fell to the floor, sobbing. “Why can’t he ever notice!” James curses the heavens and curls into a ball on the floor. He just wants coolguymaster to notice his feelings, but he always seems to look away before he can express himself. It’s not fair…maybe coolguymaster really does hate him, only tolerating him so he could stay under a roof for free for a night. James starts to get up when he realizes that Coolguymaster forgot his leather jacket. He bursts through the door, wiping his tears away, only to see that coolguymaster has already left. James frowns and returns to the indoors, locking the doors and sliding down the door, letting the tears fall again, until he finally got the courage to get back up.

He places the jacket on the couch, before sitting next to it and turning the pet cemetery back on, breathing in the smell of the jacket.

After what feels like hours of laying on the couch, watching pet cemetery, James hears a loud knocking at the door that nearly scares him out of his skin. He gets up in a hurry and tries to sneakily check who is at the door through his blinds. As he pulls the blinds apart, he is met by coolguymaster’s face only separated from his wno by the glass of his window. James shrieks and stumbles back and Coolguymaster lets himself inside

“...oH you have my JACKET. Why didn’t you TELL ME?” coolguymaster asks, pulling James up by his bootstraps. James looks back at him thankfully, and then points to the tear soaked jacket on the couch and immediately feels embarrassed.

“Y-yeah but-” James tries to explain the fluid on the jacket but is cut off by coolguymaster

“Oh thank you…what is this LIQUID on my JACKET?” coolguymaster asks, expecting an answer.

“I-well I-got lonely…so I watched pet cemetary again. And it was just there so I-I drank water over it an spilled!” James tries to explain. Coolguymaster gives him an blank stare and then just nods and picks his jacket from the couch.

“OKAY. I am also here to pick up my RATS. Where ARE they?” coolguymaster asks, looking around James’ home meanly.

James stands up and gestures towards the back door. “Oh I think they are playing in my backyard! Don’t worry I’ll get them for you!” James replies, already running into his kitchen towards the back door. Coolguymaster just stands there. Before he leaves through the door to loko for the rats, he discretely grabs a knife from the knife drawer in his kitchen.

James looks around for the rats, but is really b-lining for coolguymaster’s newly repaired motorcycle. He tip toes up to it and re-slashes the tires before going back into his backyard and ditching the knife and going back inside.

James carefully approaches coolguymaster. “I c-couldn’t find any of your rats. Are you sure they aren’t on you?” James says, lookingg anywhere but coolguymaster’s eyes. Coolguymaster looks at his person and then back at james.

“No.”

“Oh then -uhhahaha they must be around here somewhere…maybe we can look over some lemonade and bones- and b…brownies!” James tries to save.

“NO they are probably waiting for me with the other PUNKs at hom, I should probably be getting BACK. I don’t want my pals to think I am spending too much time with disco boys. BYE” Coolguymaster quickly leaves again.

James does not cry this time, expecting coolguymaster to come back, and surely enough he does.

“Somebody slashed my tires" He proclaimed.

Chapter Text

James carefully tried to hide his smile as colguymaster uttered those words again. He tried to not smile and frowned so coolguymaster wouldn’t suspect a thing. “Oh no! I guess my neighborhood isn’t as safe as I thought!” james looked down at his feet and muttered.

Coolguymaster wasn’t happy about his tire situation, but he was glad there was someone with James to keep him safe in the violent neighborhood he lived it, and it was him. Coolguymaster plopped back down on James’ couch. “Its okay. I’ll find some new ones. Do you have a bicycle?” Coolguymaster yelled out, now looking out the windows for a bicycle. “And a landline?” James added testily, now shaking with the knife he used to slash the tires only a ew minutes before in his pocket. “No. Punks don’t use phones. Read a book.” coolguymaster shot back with his gun-like voice. James shuddered an scurried off to his kitchen, planting the knife in a place where Coolguymaster would never find it.

James, unfortunately had to go to work, leaving coolguymaster in his house. He set coolguymaster up with some bowls of food and water, and the TV remote before grabbing his keys. Coolguymaster had already turned on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” as James looked wistfully at him, but only for a moment before closing the door and walking to his car. He opened it. When he opened it he suddenly felt a rush of tears invade his colored orbs. As he got onto the highway, he tried to turn on the radio which played Love Bites by Def Leppard on almost every station. James choked out a sob and continuously wiped the tears out his eyes all the way to his office’s parking lot.

Coolguymaster turned off “Who Wants to be a Millionaire quickly after James left, disagreeing with the idea of making lots of money because he was punkl. He immediately put on Soap. Coolguymaster, at his core, was sensitive and always ended up wheeping when the credits rolled. Something about it was so dramatic and relatable to him. Once he had finished wiping his tears, he put on the Cure and began to dance like he and his friends did in the alleyway. The dancing was like one half of a dance, pining for a second person to be the other half of the dance.

Once James arrived in the office, Mara and Zethy both unched him. “Where were you yesterday??? We were supposed to go to another bar after that one, but you were gone and we couldn’t find you anywhere.” Mara clucked at him, trying to find evidence of where he had been that she surely wouldn’t find, because he was at his house. “Sorry, I just wasn’t feeling my best. I decided to go home early and didn’t tell you because I couldn’t find you.” James defended himself valiantly, but Zethy shot back. “Yeah I’m guessing you didn’t find us in that ALLYWAY!” she stared at him convictingly. James turned pale and suddenly felt nauseous. “We were worried about you we thought you got taken by those PUNKS after we couldn’t find you. Those gross people keep rats you know.” Mara shook her head at james before heading over to the office watercooler. James was immediately reminded of coolguymaster. He kept the rats by his side all the time and suddenly his eyes were welling with tears again. “C-coolguymaster’s not a freak though.” James muttered under his breath before returning to his cubicle to dry his tears.

James worked diligently at his desk, willing Coolguymaster out of his mind by turning up the volume on his walkman up as high as he could without it being a disturbance, playing 70s classics. He began mumbling the lyrics to How Deep is Your Love by the BeeGees which he only noticed when his supervisor angrily stomped up to him, ripping the headphones off his ears. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING JAMES?” his supervisor yelled tauntingly at James. James coward and the supervisor pretended to accidentally kick James’ ankle. “I-i’m working!” James yelped back, looking at his word document that was intended to be about the money making quarter for the office ended at page 2, and all after that was pages of Coolguymaster’s name. He scrolled up quickly and gestured at the document. His supervisor growled at him and sneered. “You need to go to lunch. I don’t want to pay you for this, idot!!” James began saving his work before his supervisor wrenched one of his desk drawers open, pulling a bone out and throwing it. “GO FETCH JAMES!” he belowed. James couldn’t resist fetching a bone, but refused to let his supervisor win, so as he got up to get his bone, he stuck his foot out and tripped his boss, sending him to the ground. James muttered an apology and then scampered off, bone in mouth.

The supervisor, now alone in the office during lunch snarled. “You’re going to regret this, James.” he said, dusting himself off and sneering as he pulled a phone out of his pocket.

Coolguymaster had not stopped dancing to see how late it had gotten until I Think I’m OKAY by MGK (featurign Yung Blud) had ended. He looked at the clock and saw it was late. He felt an unfamiliar tinge of sadness as James had not yet returned. He then heard a knock at the door, and strategically opened it. When there was no one on the other side, he was about to close it before noticing a piece of paper on the mat.

“To whoever it may concern (if there is anyone) we have kidnapped James and we will not give him back until we are paid 600,000 dollars. We doubt there is anyone that even likes him enough to pay this because he is so unpopular, so enjoy the break HAHA!!!” - the midnight human thieves.

Coolguymaster dropped to the floor “JAMES!!!!!” he yelled his name, hoping that wherever James was, he could hear him yelling his name.