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My eyes met the brown ones that used to make me freeze with terror. Alcohol lingered on his breath, the same harsh scent that overpowered our kisses years ago. A half-empty glass sat in his left hand, an unlit cigarette in the right. His face rested in his signature pout, tongue running back and forth over his teeth to the left.
I put my shoulders back and gazed over his, laying my eyes on my friend. I glanced back at his face, he glared out of the corner of his eye and shifted his lips to the side. My stomach twisted. I nodded my head, slouching down again as I passed him. I drew in a deep breath, tapping Mike on the shoulder. He frowned, I flicked my head to the side, glancing to the door. He nodded.
Mike stopped once we were out the front, lighting a cigarette, his eyes following me as I paced. He put his shoulder against the brick pillar and took a drag, brows furrowed.
I finally organised my thoughts, taking another deep breath and turning to my friend. "Who invited him?"
His brows knitted further over his eyes, head tilting to the side. "Who?"
"Benmont," I whispered through gritted teeth. I glanced through the window, scanning the room for him. I turned back to Mike, trying to analyse his face in the moonlight.
He took another puff and checked through the window. "He's one of Ron's friends, why?"
I pursed my lips and clenched my fists, inhaling slowly through my nose. How would I explain this to him?
"What’s up?" He asked quietly, reaching out to take my hand the way he usually would when I needed comfort. "Do you know him?"
"What kind of a question is that?!" I snapped, slapping his hand away. He took a small step back. "Of course I fucking know him! Would I be like this over some random that I'd never met?!"
He seemed to hold his breath. He looked down and tapped the ash off of his cigarette and sighed. "What's the problem with him?"
I clenched my jaw and tightly folded my arms. "Everything."
The door rattled as it slid open, the very man I was in a state over swinging around from the frame. "Michael, Ron wants you." He stepped out, cigarette between his lips as he searched his pockets for a lighter. He clicked it a few times as Mike passed him, the door shut behind him.
I froze up, eyes wide and stuck on Benmont as he fought his lighter. I sucked in my lips, putting my head down, but I was still glued to him. He managed to light his cigarette, tossing the lighter into his pocket and taking a long drag. He glanced over at me, blowing smoke upwards and smirking. I didn't miss that smirk. Every muscle in my body tensed up as he stepped closer to me, eyes scanning my body. I stepped back. He took another step forward.
I drew in a shaky breath, averting my gaze from his hypnotizing face. He blew smoke at me, I held my breath. He let out a blunt laugh. I glanced up, those beautiful dark eyes luring me in. I couldn't fall for him again. His smirk turned into a gentle smile, my heart melted.
His hand took mine, fear, yearning, panic and desire mixing in my heart. Confusion brewed as he stepped closer, his tight grip stopping me from running. He blew his smoke away from me. The smell mixed in with his cologne and alcohol. Memories flooded my brain.
How I cried on the floor, begging for him to stop. How his hands held me against the wall as he screamed at me. How his nails tore my skin. How his fists bruised every inch of me. How his voice softened and told me he loved me. How he kissed me and tucked my hair behind my ear. How he called me beautiful. How he loved me. How he hated me.
I tried to remove my hand from his, but he squeezed it, pulling me in against him. "You said you wouldn't run, Tommy."
My gut twisted. I swallowed, attempting another step back. He dropped his cigarette and stamped it out. He placed his hand on my waist, keeping me in his hold. My hands shook.
"Benmont," I said under my breath, pushing on his chest.
He hummed, leaning in closer to my face. Despite his intoxication, I was too scared to fight. He freed my hand, putting two fingers through my belt loop and pulling me in. His thumb pressed against my groin.
But naturally, I closed my eyes as our lips met. I gripped his blazer, my other hand rested on his shoulder. I melted. He pulled away. His gentle fingers brushed my hair from my face. He smiled gently.
"I'm sorry," he said, looking me in the eye. Every other apology he'd given was a half-hearted 'sorry' while he refused to look at me. This was different. It was real. "I'm sorry for everything."
I nodded, my eyes lingering on his. "I forgive you."
His brows raised and his lips parted. He softened, the most genuine love I'd ever seen brewing behind his dark eyes. "You don't have to."
"But I do," I told him before pressing my lips back onto his. The sting of the alcohol didn't bother me like it used to, and neither did the cigarettes. The cold night air whipped our faces, blowing our hair around. I held him tighter. "I still like you, Ben."
The smile that drew me in all those years ago returned, and those eyes that held the universe calmed down into a gaze of love. My mind raced as he cupped my face with his hands that almost killed me. "I still love you."