Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When they are thirteen years old, they lose a brother. He storms out in a show of blind confidence, ego on full display as he does the unthinkable. He defies their father.

He doesn’t come back.

The remaining siblings argue about it in hushed whispers for the next few months. It starts with worry for his whereabouts, but sometime when the weather gets cold and then starts to warm again that concern takes a turn into anger.

“Why should we even bother with this anymore?” Allison had said one day. Vanya had been caught once again leaving food out the night before, and the two had stood on opposite sides of the kitchen staring at each other before Allison turned on her heel and marched back out into the hall without ever saying a word.

Klaus sighs loudly from his spot on the floor. Vanya shares the sentiment internally, but doesn’t dare to open her mouth. They’re gathered in the library to do homework, not to discuss their missing brother.

Unfortunately, the dominos are already toppling down. Ben keeps his eyes on his book, but he’s paused his page turning. Vanya casts a quick glance at her siblings who have all taken to their own spots as well, their own books long closed- save for Luther, who she isn’t surprised to see is trying his best to read the mind numbing material dad had told them to look at.

“Probably because we’re supposed to care?” Diego snaps at her. His words were meant to be in defense of Five, she thinks, but it seems a little scathing. She certainly cares.

Luther pointedly turns a page in his workbook, despite having written nothing down on the previous one. Mathematics is a powerful foe. “I think we should just stop talking about it, too.”

Diego scoffs at that, at the same time Klaus lets out another exaggerated sigh of disappointment. Vanya casts a glance at Ben again, but he doesn’t look at her.

“I’m just tired of the depressing team meetings, is all,” Allison cuts in quickly before Diego can open his mouth. It doesn’t stop him from sharing his thoughts anyway.

“Not much of a team meeting without the whole team, Allison.”

This is the closest her family has ever been, Vanya thinks mournfully. Five vanishes and they spend all their time arguing about it, but at least they’re arguing together. They even let her hang around in what she’s certain is an act of pity. When the only sibling who ever bothered to actively include her vanishes, the only nice thing to do is let her hang around after all. Even if the voices seem a little too loud lately.

By the same time the next year, they’re getting ready to turn sixteen and the dosage of Vanya’s meds have increased. It’s at this same point that they’ve all finally drifted apart. A big fight sometime in the fall happened to be the last straw to shatter the shabby little bubble of attempted sibling-ship that they had created in the face of Five’s vanishing. Luther calls it his death, now. It’s a trait that had Vanya turn away from him (even if he never noticed. Luther never really bothered with her enough to even notice her petty attempts to turn her back on him.) They all assume he picked it up from dad, despite never once hearing their father speak of Five for anything other than introducing that horrific portrait and to talk down to the rest of them during training.

It infuriates Diego enough that- even though Vanya doesn’t think he cared so much about Five disappearing than about having something to be angry about- he ends up spending time around Klaus in an attempt to vent.
Klaus, of course, offers meager attempts at comfort and spirit raising that annoy Diego almost as much as Luther’s general existence does.

Vanya clings to Ben. Ben never explicitly turns her away, and while she’s not naïve enough to think that they like having her around, it comes with the benefits of Ben always following Klaus around (and by extension, Diego) in an attempt to stop the bad habits that their most eccentric brother has been getting too deep in.

They all know about it. Luther is the exception, because he tends to be a little too dense sometimes. Too focused on himself and being what their father wants to actually notice Klaus spiraling.

Sneaking out wasn’t new to any of the academy. Klaus had gotten good at doing it alone, and Ben had gotten remarkably good at tailing him even with his rocketing anxiety at getting caught. Diego had tried once, but it didn’t work out too well. They didn’t see him in their free time for nearly a week, reminding them all how easy it had been when Five were here.

Late night runs for donuts had completely vanished from their lives.

Vanya reflects on all of these changes while she puts together a sandwich. They’re more than halfway to seventeen now, and despite all of these changes, she can’t stop herself from coming downstairs to leave the lights on for her brother. The food is in case he’s hungry when he shows up, because she knows he will be. She’s certain of it.

The tile is cold on her feet even through the socks she wears, but she carries on anyway. The sandwich is disgusting. She hates the texture that comes with the peanut butter and bread more than anything, but it was his favorite so she diligently makes it.

Vanya remembers fondly when they’d found marshmallow fluff in the cabinets instead of regular marshmallows one day. Five would never acknowledge his sweet tooth in front of the rest of them, claiming his need for calories even when they could all see the way his eyes would light up when they got their hands on candy, or when he would order the most disgustingly sugary donut on their nights out.

He’d eaten the entire jar. It was only afterwards that he would announce to mom (and Vanya, who had been eating a granola bar when he’d come in) that he preferred the regular marshmallows, if only to be able to snack on them and make his terrible sandwich.

Vanya places the bag gently back in the cabinet, newly opened from the last shopping trip the day prior. She stares at them wistfully before closing them away and turning back to finish her task. Her reminiscing takes longer than what's normal on nights like this. It’s one of the nights where the exhaustion and loneliness sinks into her bones, and everything feels a little too loud even in the dark quiet of night. She heads back to her room and tries not to flinch at the sound of her own footsteps, wondering if she ever remembered to take her pill for the night. She takes one for good measure, and falls asleep.

The week proceeds as normal, for the most part. Vanya practices the violin, and takes notes for her father while her siblings train. On Wednesday, Reginald announces to his children that he will be leaving for a few days regarding business. His return will be Monday, and he expects them to be rigid in their studies in his absence.

They hadn’t been left alone like this in a long time. It’s extremely rare for their father to get called away like this, and excitement floods their faces. Klaus fidgets in his spot in line with the sudden flood of energy, and Ben’s lips press together in the way Vanya knows he’s trying not to let a smile shine through. Luther looks uncomfortable, which Vanya thinks is a little funny with the way Diego looks thrilled directly beside him.

They’re all dismissed. The moment their father steps out of the room, Diego has Klaus’ wrist between his fingers and is pulling him away. Ben rushes to follow, and Vanya is left for a moment in the dust. She hesitates long enough to see Allison do the same thing. They catch each other’s eyes.

Allison stares at her, and then slowly casts a glance back to wherever Luther vanished to. Vanya watches with intriguement as her sister sets her face into something determined, and then marches after Ben and the others. Vanya follows, surprise flooding her system all the way up to Klaus’ room where her brothers are gathered.

Whatever they were talking about is cut off when Allison marches straight in, places her hands on her hips, and takes charge. “We have to do something fun while he’s gone.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be following you’re f…fucking lapdog around?”

Vanya slides into the room and presses herself against the wall timidly. She’s just in time to catch the dark look Allison sends Diego. He averts his eyes.

“Like what?” Ben asks. Allison breaks into a grin.

“We go out! To like… Griddy’s, maybe?” She gets hesitant, like she hadn’t quite meant to suggest that. Vanya’s stomach twists, and Diego’s face darkens.

“No way. I don’t wanna go near that stupid donut shop.”

“What’s wrong with Griddy’s?” Vanya asks before she can think better of it. Her siblings startle like they’d forgotten she was here and she has to fight back the bitterness.

“Oh… um…” Diego supplies helpfully, looking to Klaus for help.

Luckily, Klaus takes pity on him. “Nothing is wrong with Griddy’s. We love Griddy’s! Really, we do. It would just be… well, a little weird without the whole family.” They all hear what he didn’t actually say, and Allison rubs her hands together like she’s trying to get back on track.

“Okay, so no donuts. What about…” They all watch her think. It’s quiet for a few seconds, and then her eyes light up. She snaps her fingers and says, “The arcade! The one we saw a few months ago when we went on that robbery job!”

A pause. Klaus’ face breaks out in a grin.

“Now that could work, brilliant sister-of-mine.” She beams.

Diego rolls his eyes, but mutters something about how “maybe it’s not the worst idea ever” with his arms crossed.

“Do we have money for something like that?” Asks Ben.

“Don’t worry about that. I can take care of it. My treat,” Allison assures. Vanya’s a little worried about what that entails, but Ben shrugs it off, seemingly appeased with that answer.

They settle on Saturday, after their Father is definitely gone and they can have enough homework done to get Pogo off their backs for the day.

The next Thursday is about as normal as it can be. When Friday rolls around, Grace has pancakes made for breakfast and it’s the first time in a long while they’ve chatted normally to each other, like the one empty seat isn’t there. It’s horribly bittersweet.

Training starts earlier than normal, and ends early too. They all watch him leave after lunch, and for the first time in years it’s like they can breathe freely. Even Luther seems to relax just a fraction, and Diego doesn’t look anywhere near murderous which is a definite win for them all. Dinner is a very loud and interesting affair. Vanya enjoys the energy until things start feeling a little too loud again. The voices turn from joyous to painfully grating, and even the silverware clinking is like a church bell ringing in her ears. She excuses herself before anyone else, and rushes off to her room, hands pressed against her ears. It’s quieter up here, and she breathes a sigh of relief and practically falls into bed. Before she falls asleep, she realizes she forgot her pill in all the excitement.

She wakes up late the next day. All of her siblings are already at breakfast when she heads downstairs. The chatter is a little quieter than the night before, and she takes her seat while they cast glances at her.

“Are you alright?” Luther asks, and she’s flooded with something warm at his concern.

“I feel better. Forgot my pill yesterday,” she explains. He nods in understanding, and gives her a tiny smile. She thinks their father’s absence might be a blessing.

“Pogo said he would let us out of class early if we’re good,” Allison says across the table.

“Good thing I’m an absolute angel,” comes Klaus. Diego almost chokes on his French toast, and Luther looks mildly alarmed for his brother’s safety.

“...Right. Angel,” Allison says slowly. “I’m not above rumoring you to make that true today, you know.”

Klaus throws his hands up defensively, fork still clutched in one of them. A piece of bread flings off of it and hits Ben, who looks distraught when he wipes it off his cheek. Klaus gives him an apologetic smile.

“Pinky promise I’ll be good, just for you Ally.”

She grimaces at that. “Right. Okay.”

Grace steps in to let them all know it’s time for class, and they all shuffle out. They sit out of order, and Pogo doesn’t say anything about it. They start with math, which immediately deflates Diego’s mood, but otherwise they remain well behaved enough for Pogo to take pity on them. They get released and told not to mention this to their father with a wink, which gets a sour look from Luther. The blond moves to head to his own room, but Allison catches him by the wrist immediately.

“Where are we going?”

“Team meeting in Klaus’ room,” Ben offers when nobody else speaks.

He allows himself to be dragged, looking like a lost child the whole time. It’s not until the door clicks shut behind them all that Allison releases him.

“We’re going out.”

Luther stares at her, baffled. “You’re doing what?”

“We are going out,” she repeats, but slower.

“Dad would be so-”

“For fuck sake, nobody cares about dad-”

“Shut the fuck up, both of you,” Allison says pointedly, looking at both Diego and Luther. “Or I will make you.”

That gets them both quiet.

“Oh, what a fun party trick,” Klaus says. Vanya bites down a laugh.

“We are going out. Because we’re sixteen, and it would be fun. It’s just to the arcade,” she says.

Luther is wholly unconvinced, and crosses his arms. He stands up a little straighter, and everyone knows what’s coming. “I think it’s a bad idea. If dad finds out, he'll be mad. And we aren’t supposed to leave. It’s not just a free for all because he went on a trip, you guys.”

“Are you gonna tell him?” Diego challenges. “I didn’t think we should tell you, but Allison insisted. So either you ruin everyone’s day, or you suck it up and come with us.”

“He could suck it up and stay all alone,” Klaus sing-songs.

“Yeah, or that. I like that one.” Diego agrees. They high-five, and Ben puts his head in his hands.

Luther looks a little hurt. “What if something happens? Or there’s an emergency?”

“We can definitely take care of it,” Allison shoots back. “I really want you to come…” she says sadly. It’s an act, but it’s a good one. Luther’s defensive stance crumbles.

“You guys are really gonna go no matter what…?” He asks, like they didn’t have conversations exactly like this years ago. Back when leaving was always Five’s idea.

They all nod. His arms drop.

“I guess I can keep an eye on you be-”

There’s a crash of thunder that startles everyone. Klaus jolts so hard that he tumbles off of his bed, and everyone’s head whips around to the window where there is no sight of rain.

Then the floor starts shaking, along with everything else in the room. The second flash of lightning hits, this time tinting the world outside in blue.

“What the f-fuck is going on!?” Diego yells, almost tripping over Klaus in his haste to get away from the window. His brother is scrambling in the same direction on all fours.

“I don’t know!” Luther shouts back.

Someone gets the door open, and they all stumble out into the hall and down the stairs on shaky legs. There’s no sight of Grace on their voyage downstairs. When they hit the bottom, Vanya sees a stronger flash of blue from the side of the house with the courtyard. She grabs the closest person to her- which happens to be Ben- and yanks him that way. “Look!” is all she manages to get out, but it’s enough because they all start running to the door. Things go deadly quiet before they make it there. Allison pauses with her hand on the knob, suddenly unnerved at the quiet and the calm. Her siblings are piled up right behind her, and when she casts her gaze over her shoulder she’s met with five matching looks of hesitation.

“Should I… should I open it?” she asks with none of her usual confidence, voice coming out meeker than Vanya’s ever heard her. There’s a collective moment where they all consider it before Luther nervously speaks up.

“I can open it. Just in case, you know?” He sounds as uncertain as the rest of them look, but Vanya can appreciate the attempt to take the lead. Not even Diego challenges him on it, just giving a small nod.

“Yeah, let Luther do it.”

Allison looks back at the door and then drops her hand, side-stepping to let her tallest brother take her previous place. He puts his hand on the knob… and doesn’t move. A good few seconds pass.

Diego gets impatient. “Are you gonna open it?”

“Yes, of course I am!”

“Okay, then open it.”

“I said, I am.”

“It looks like you’re just standing there like a baby-” The words have barely left Diego’s mouth when Luther lets out a frustrated grunt and practically throws the door off its hinges.

Everyone holds their breath, and Klaus tries to lean around Luther’s frame to see what’s there.

“What the fuck?” Luther says, and it’s painfully out of character.

“What? What is it? You have to move!” Klaus says, unnerved and impatient. Luther does exactly that- steps out the door and out of the way, followed by the rest of them one by one.

Everyone’s eyes land on him immediately. The little slumped form laying in the middle of the yard, looking painfully familiar and terribly in pain.

“Is that..?” Allison says quietly, just in time for Five to raise his head their way, looking horribly disoriented.

It feels a little like a dream, Vanya thinks, as she watches her brother push himself shakily into a sitting position. He’s filthy, and he looks exhausted. He looks young, in a way that makes her stomach twist. He looks at them all. His eyes focus on them, and an emotion floods his face that none of them have ever seen him wear. And then, almost comically, he turns to the side and retches into the grass.

Chapter Text

You’d think watching their missing brother throw up everything in his stomach and continue to dry heave into the yard would elicit more movement from the gathered little group of teenagers. Instead, Vanya finds that they’re all standing there gawking like it’s the strangest show they’ve ever been allowed to see.

The sound starts to turn painful and Vanya starts to shy away without the approval of her own brain, and distantly she realizes Ben is beside her with a comforting hand on her arm. They all stay embarrassingly still even when it subsides, and the hallucination of Number Five spits into the grass one final time and then flops to the side away from his own mess.

He lays there, chest rising and falling with rapid breaths that start to slow until it seems like he may have just passed out. She registers Klaus muttering to himself, a chorus of “Okay, okay, cool, okay,” on repeat that barely breaks through the silence.

It’s enough to shatter the spell that Luther takes one step forward. He pauses, turns to the rest of them looking lost. Vanya sees him meet Allison’s gaze and watches the way she shrugs unhelpfully, eyes wide. Luther nods to himself, takes another step. He’s out of the doorway now where the rest of them had crowded ungracefully to peer around him.

“Is he dead?” Diego whispers. Luther holds up a hand in response at the same time Five starts laughing. It’s a little giggle, at first- and then much like his retching it ramps up into something bordering on a little unhinged. It’s one of the saddest sounding laughs Vanya has ever heard. Her hands start shaking, and she places it against Ben’s shoulder for support. Instead of leaving it there, he reaches up to take it in his own and then looks at her rather determinedly. “Okay, not dead,” Diego mutters behind them.

“I hope I’m not dead,” Five says from the grass. He makes no move to get up, doesn’t even lift a hand. He just stays there once the laughter subsides, breathing carefully.

It’s the first time any of them had heard his voice in years. It’s raspy now and has barely changed pitch from what Vanya remembers, which is somehow more startling than if it were deeper the way the rest of her brother’s voices were starting to be. It sends everyone into a frenzy.

“No fucking way,” Klaus says. Vanya looks his way, so out of her depth, and notes the way he stands behind Diego with his hands fisted in the back of Diego’s shirt.

The same time she sees that, Diego rips himself out of Klaus’s grip and marches forward. Right before he can make it past Luther, the taller boy throws an arm out to halt him. It pisses Diego off enough that he snaps at him, all bark but no bite. “What?”

“How do we know this is real and not some trick, or a test from dad?” Luther sounds so urgent that it genuinely stops Diego in his tracks for a moment. The hand he had balled into a fist moments before goes limp as he contemplates the words.

“How would dad have been able to stage something like this?” Allison has stepped up now, though she also stops before passing Luther like there’s some magical line keeping them all from getting closer.

“Father dearest has done some crazy shit in the past,” is Klaus’s input.

“Yeah, b-but… this s-seems a little excessive, right?” Diego sounds unsure, like he can’t exactly explain why this would be out of Reginald’s league.

Vanya looks at Five again. He just keeps breathing. Somehow, it reassures her enough to take a timid step forward, and then another until she’s joined the others at their invisible line. Ben goes with her, still hand-in-hand looking a little dazed.

Only Klaus is left in the doorway. When he realizes this, he stands up a little straighter and marches forward.

Unlike the rest of them, he doesn’t stop. “I’m great at failing dad’s tests- why try changing today?”

Luther reaches out with his free hand to try and grab Klaus, who clearly saw that coming and dances just out of reach. His face is serious, and Luther makes a noise of frustration before he drops the arm he used to halt Diego and marches up right behind Klaus. The rest of them stand there and watch both boys get closer until they’re standing right over Five.

“M’not a test, I’ll have you know,” he practically slurs.

Much like everything else today, it’s strange to hear Five speak so improperly. Vanya could count on two hands the number of times she had heard Five speak like that. Usually it would be after a very strenuous mission.

“Then get up and prove it.” Luther has taken on the role of Number One again, his voice demanding and his posture fully straight.

Five just breathes for a second, and she can see Luther getting a little impatient. Still, his facade holds strong.

“Just- just one second, sure. Sounds good.” How Five can sound so dismissive and so tired at the same time is insanity, Vanya thinks.

“Get up or I’m going to make you,” Luther threatens.

They can all see that he’s serious about it. Five doesn’t seem to catch on, or maybe he just doesn’t care, because he half scoffs, half laughs, and lifts his hand enough to wave it dismissively at Luther.

“I said one second.”

“Oh, buddy,” Klaus says pitifully moments before Luther takes the final step to loom over Five.

He bends down, arms outstretched and Five’s eyes fly open in abject horror. There’s the tiniest little telltale spark of blue that fizzles out as fast as it came on. Vanya sees him try and push away but Luther has already made the distance and closes his hand around Five’s wrist.

Vanya can hear every bit of air leave Five’s lungs in a wheezing hiss, and then he’s holding his breath entirely as Luther yanks him to his feet. Clearly his feet are unwilling to cooperate, because he starts to fall again even in Luther’s grasp. Another hand reaches for him and then Luther’s got him entirely off the ground, thrown over his shoulder.

Vanya can see a concerned pinch in Luther’s brow, but all he says is “Let’s get inside, buddy,” in the most no-nonsense tone. Vanya doesn’t hear Five take another breath in. Luther marches them past everyone towards the door, and they all trail behind dutifully. She knows the rest of them are looking at his face the same way she is, though he doesn’t look back.

He just keeps holding his breath, eyes screwed shut as he hangs limply. Luther sets him in a chair at the kitchen table, and it’s only when all contact is gone that Five sucks in a breath, and then another.

“Asshole.” Five sends him the most scathing look he can muster. Vanya would never say it to his face, but it’s a little pathetic looking.

“Is it really you…?” Vanya’s own voice betrays her, and the question comes out before she can catch herself. They all look at her in surprise, but the only gaze she meets is Five’s.

His eyes are the same. He studies her curiously, and for a moment she thinks there may be tears forming. Five doesn’t say anything, but she knows. She knows with so much conviction, all she can do is nod in understanding. He smiles at her. Vanya almost shatters.

“If this were a trick, I feel like dad would have popped out by now, right?” Ben asks.

“I heard a rumor that you told us if you were fake,” Allison blurts out in a panicked hurry. Five’s eyes go a little glassy.

“I am not fake,” he says, and she breathes out a sigh of relief. In unison, all of their shoulders relax. “Feel better?” Five drawls.

“No! If you’re real, where the hell have you been?” Diego is fired up again, and all this back and forth is giving Vanya a headache.

“Places,” he says spitefully, and yeah. This is insane.

Vanya turns away and opens a cabinet behind where Klaus is standing. She reaches up to procure a glass, and then fills it with water from the sink.

“No shit!” Diego snaps behind her.

Five doesn’t reply, because Allison beats him to it. “Can you seriously not do this right now?”

Vanya isn’t sure which one of them it’s directed towards. She keeps her gaze level and focuses on the water slowly climbing the sides of the glass.

“Oh, I’m sorry- I’ll just l-let it keep being a mystery, since that sounds so good to you!”

“That is not what I’m saying! I just think maybe we should not be yelling at each other right now?”

“Listen to mommy Allison, Diego,” Klaus sing-songs.

“Shut up, Klaus.”

“Defensive Luther to the rescue.”

There’s a loud clack of glass against wood as Vanya forcefully sets the cup down in front of Five. He had watched her walk over, but stares at the liquid like he’d never seen it before. He looks between it and Vanya, and she clears her throat nervously.

“You sounded…” terrible, in pain, tired, “...thirsty.”

It’s quiet as he lifts the glass off the table. She notices his hand tremble, almost swears she can hear the ripple of the water. When he drinks, he gulps it down greedily and gasps when he pulls the empty glass away. Diego is staring, brows furrowed in concern. Five hands it back to her with unsteady fingers, and she takes it gently.

“More,” he says. She is about to turn when he adds, “Please.”

Five rarely says please. He would say it to her sometimes, or the others sarcastically- but he’s dead serious. Vanya moves quickly, fills it again, brings it back and watches him gulp it down a second time. She repeats the process one more time and is going for a fourth when Ben stops her.

“Hey, slow down. He just threw up, too much water isn't good for his stomach.”

It makes her pause because he’s right, but Five seems distressed at the thought. He’s clearly about to protest when Ben turns to him and softly adds, “We should at least get something solid in your stomach first.”

Five’s eyes light up.

“Hold on, I can- I can make you something!” Vanya is enthusiastic. She drops the glass off by the sink and sets to work.

Luther takes this moment to get back on track. “Where were you?”

“Seriously this time,” Diego adds unhelpfully.

Five looks between them all thoughtfully, hesitant. “Would you even believe me?” He wonders out loud.

“Unless you say something like ‘Narnia’, I think I’ll buy it. You could even sell me on Narnia if you play your cards right,” Klaus says wistfully. The attempt to lighten the mood is appreciated, but Five just fixes his gaze on his brother for a long moment.

He then promptly turns his gaze to stare at a blank wall, looking nervous. The emotion is out of place on confident, arrogant Number Five.

“Apocalypse,” he says to the quiet room.

“What?”

“Bullshit-”

“Hold on, hold on!”

The room erupts in noise and Five flinches violently. It seems like he’s tried to stamp it down, but he can’t keep the composure and Luther waves his hands above his head to silence everyone. To some degree, they settle.

“Why are we supposed to believe that?”

Five looks downright pissed off, and a little hurt. “Oh, I don’t know- because I’ve been gone for two years, I’m dressed in rags, and that’s the first glass of water I’ve had in nearly three weeks!” He tries to say it all like it doesn’t matter, but some of his desperation seeps through.

“Well, I guess it’s not Narnia.”

Ben puts his head in his hands at that, and Allison groans.

“H-how did you go to the- to the apocalypse?”

“I succeeded at time travel, of course.” The words are so bitter he practically spits them.

“Five, you have to understand why this is hard to believe,” Allison pleads with him, stepping forward like she’s trying to play peace-maker but all she does is loom over him, the only one sitting.

Five fumbles with his pocket, throwing one of his gloves off in frustration when he can’t get the button to slip through. Allison waits, intrigued, until he shoves a ripped slip of paper her way. She gently takes it from him and her eyebrows furrow as she reads what it says. Five sits with his arms crossed, impatient.

Allison turns to the group, page held out and disbelief across every one of her features. “It’s true.”

And then Luther steps up and takes it, ever the pessimist. “It- this could be fake, right?”

Five scoffs.

Diego takes it next, and instead of handing it off to Klaus who is making desperate grabby hands, he states very matter-of-factly that “There’s no way. Five was never into petty p-pranks, and this is way too official. It’s a piece of newspaper- and the date is way too weird.”

“But come on… April 1st? Really?” Luther insists.

“That… kind of makes me believe it more. I mean, wouldn’t that be too obvious for a prank?” Five, clearly pleased that Allison is on his side, throws his hands up in a ‘thank you!’ gesture.

“Did you say two years?” Ben finally asks, derailing everything further.

“What?” Klaus seems lost now, and the sentiment seems matched by the rest of them.

“When he explained- he said he was only gone for two years,” Ben explains.

There’s a very poignant pause, where Five glances between them all looking desperately confused. He was never a big fan of not knowing things, and seems deeply out of his element.

“But it’s been-” Klaus starts to say. Allison cuts in, moved back into action and looks at Five.

“How old are you?”

He stares at her like she’s grown a second and third head. When he realizes the question is serious, he starts to look a little uncomfortable.

“I’m fifteen,” he says, and then amends, “in a month.”

Klaus starts laughing. Diego does a little, too, smug smile painted on his face. Luther looks like he may just about have a heart attack, and Five clearly decides that this is unacceptable.

“I must have missed the joke,” he drawls. “Would anyone care to enlighten me?”

“No wonder you still look so little,” Klaus giggles. He presses a finger to his nose dramatically and leans back against the counter seemingly satisfied.

Ben’s eyes go wide and he shakes his head, matching the movement and pressing a finger to his nose. Diego catches it next, and Luther looks at them all disappointedly.

“What are we, four?” But he still follows suit, and Diego levels him with an unimpressed look.

Vanya puts her head down and delivers her masterpiece- extra marshmallows and all and presses her own finger to her nose the second the plate is out of her hand. Five looks at her with pleading eyes, and she hopes she looks apologetic as she steps away. Allison is surprisingly the last to catch on, having been studying the newspaper again after it had made it’s rounds.

She huffs like she’s over it, and puts both hands on her hips. The smug smile on her face gives her away. Five looks downright murderous, still on the outside of the funniest inside joke the Hargreeves have ever kept. He stubbornly keeps his hands away from the food instead to make his displeasure known with crossed arms.

“Today, people.”

“This is so satisfying,” Diego sighs.

If Five could growl, he probably would be.

“Okay, so, two years for you was not two years for us,” Allison starts to say, and Five turns a little pale. Before she can continue, he cuts her off.

“What do you mean? I triple checked everything, there’s no way-”

“We are almost seventeen, baby brother,” Klaus says gleefully. Clearly, telling the news was way more tempting than it first seemed.

Five looks absolutely disgusted, and he runs a hand through his hair in clear frustration.

“Fuck me,” he says.

“Language,” Klaus quips. Five glares at him like he’s picturing the most gruesome end he can manifest. “Come on, it wasn’t that bad.”

“It seems the all mighty Five made several mistakes.” Five turns away while Diego talks, face heating up and starts devouring his sandwich. The way he takes slow bites seems forced, but some of the trembling in his hands subsides. “I mean, really- this has got to be a record for you!”

“Alright, leave him be,” Vanya says timidly, feeling protective. To think Five is eating one of her sandwiches after years of being told it was pointless and a waste. It makes her eyes well up, and she wipes them away quickly.

“Come on, I think it’s only fair. If this were any of us he’d be ruthless!”

“What are we going to tell dad?” Luther asks, and the jovial mood shatters into a million tiny pieces. Five seems less affected by this than he did finding out he was the youngest, but a wave of nervous energy goes over the rest of them.

Diego swallows nervously, but Five just waves them off like it’s nothing. “You aren’t telling him anything. I can take care of it,” he says between bites. Allison looks at him like he’s an idiot.

“I’m sorry?”

Five rolls his eyes, polishes off the rest of his meal, and looks at her. “What? He’s going to pretend not to give a shit, and make me hop back into training like nothing happened. Like whenever one of us was sick,” he insists.

“But you weren’t just sick.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.”

“Can you take this seriously for a minute? Dad is going to kill you!”

Five takes it like bait, flashing his teeth in a grin like he’s some kind of animal at Diego. “Still scared of dad? What, does the dark get you too? Reginald isn’t going to do anything he wouldn’t normally.”

Five’s confidence fuels everyone else’s unease.

“It… it’s not the same as when you left, Five. Dad got worse,” Ben tries to explain.

And it’s true. Vanya watched the way their father would crack down on even the smallest rebellion. How punishments got longer, how she’d see them less and less when things went wrong. How Klaus would shake all day, and Ben would sit in the kitchen all alone in the middle of the night in silence. How Allison would go days without saying a single word to any of them, and Luther would flinch if you got too close, or Diego’s stutter coming and going in drastic waves.

How Five’s portrait would stare them all down as a warning and reminder.

And yet there Five sits, head propped up on one hand as he surveyed them all with the same sharp eyes he always had, like he knew a million things they didn’t (of course he knew more, he was Five). Unphased, unconcerned, clearly too high above to think things could be worse than he could handle.

How small he was, like he had never had a chance to grow, and the way his clothes were concerningly loose on his frame.

“I can handle dad,” he says. Vanya knows there’s no other way to convince him, so she panics and blurts out the first thing she can think of instead.

“We were going to go to the arcade!”

Five tilts his head at her, curiously. His brows furrow the way they do when he’s thinking, eyes fixed on something she could never see. “...What arcade?”

“Oh! Oh! Oh!” Klaus starts jumping, clearly pleased with the new change of topic. “The new one down the street, they opened like a year ago- ugh, such a cute little place, really, you’d love it.”

“Dad is gone for the weekend,” Allison explains to a much more amused looking Five. He nods his head like that makes all the sense in the world.

“I need to shower first, and then I expect to stop at Griddy’s, but I suppose we can make this work. Preferably first.”

Klaus fist pumps the air at Five’s clear understanding, and Vanya feels like her whole world has just been hijacked. She’s so incredibly pleased about it, she feels like she could float. Luther seems absolutely put off by the entire thing, but there’s never room for argument when Five speaks like that.

Not one you’ll win, anyway.

Five stands up and dusts himself off. He seems exhausted but extremely determined. For a moment, he closes his eyes and there’s the weak flicker of blue again that fizzles away. Five bites down a frustrated sigh and walks out of the room. Vanya thinks, of all the things she’s seen today, that’s the weirdest one.

The rest of them are left in an awkward silence before they split off with the understanding to reconvene in an hour. Vanya is eager to decompress and take a minute to process everything, but she feels so much brighter than she has in years.

For the second day in a row, Vanya forgets her medication.

Chapter Text

True to his word, the very first thing Five does is trudge his way upstairs to the bathroom to shower. He could never forget the Academy, but now he feels out of place. A single speck of dust in a perfectly clean home.

It’s terribly unsettling how clean everything is compared to just a few hours ago. When these standing walls were rubble, and the sounds of the city were just hallucinations he would have at his most feverish.

When the same yard he landed in and relished in the feeling of fresh grass was the one he’d turned into a graveyard.

Five has had dreams like this. Ones where he makes it home, and things are better and worse and the same and he’s not so lonely. Today felt like a dream at the beginning, and Five had just been waiting to wake up and go back to his monotonous life of survival.

And then Luther grabbed him by the wrist and it burned. Maybe a little dramatic, but the feeling had become so unfamiliar that Five had locked up, frozen solid in comparison to the radiating heat from Luther.

It was humiliating, but he can’t imagine anyone truly noticed. His return itself was already too much of a spectacle.

Five gets one half of a look at himself in the mirror and cringes away, resolved to ignore that for now. He pointedly keeps himself turned away from the glass.

The water is way too hot and standing in it is overwhelming, but he grits his teeth and turns the temperature down. It’s a little better on the colder side, he finds, and the dirt and grime starts swirling at his feet. He gleefully raises his head and lets his mouth drop open so he can drink some of it without the pitiful looks. His stomach turns unpleasantly but Five doesn’t stop until he gets his fill.

And then he scrubs and scrubs until the water turns crystal clear and his skin feels raw, but refreshing. He never thought a shower could feel so much like being reborn. The one thing that stays is the lingering ghost of Luther’s hand around his wrist, the first point of contact he’s had in two years. At some point it hits him that this is real.

Five stands there, water pouring over him, and he cries. It’s pathetic, and he’s ashamed of himself, but he can’t stop it now that it’s started. He keeps his head down and lets the tears mix with the water and wash away until it all peters off. He stands there after and just breathes softly, exhausted to his very bones until the water becomes too much.

The towel is an extremely unpleasant feeling but he grits his teeth and pushes through it regardless. He’s been through worse, god damn it, and he’s not going to lose his mind (again) over a bathroom towel.

He’s so tired. Five can feel his reserves depleted. It’s been a long time since it was full, and the buzz under his skin is so persistent that he wants to scream. He is much more put together than that, so he screws his eyes shut and pours every ounce of focus and drop of energy the shower gave him back and pushes.

Miraculously, his powers obey him and he stumbles into his old room, slamming into his desk painfully. He shakes it off, pleased with himself. The buzz subsides for now, and that feeling alone is worth the way his head spins concerningly and his vision blurs for three full seconds, black around the edges.

Five waits it out with a hand curled around the edge of the desk to steady himself. He breathes, and the world comes back into focus. Finally he can stand upright.

Everything in his room is immaculate, and exactly the way he left it. It’s clear that Grace still comes through and cleans because there’s no dust, but otherwise Five wouldn’t be able to tell. The clothes in his closet are still neatly arranged, and when he dons the uniform it hangs off of him more loosely than he recalls. He fiddles with it to try and make it look like it fits correctly, but the attempt is more than futile.

At least it’s clean.

Bed is calling to him, but he knows if he lays down now for even a moment he’s not going to get back up, and Five is loath to admit that he needs this time with his siblings while he has the chance, and Reginald is supposedly absent.

Sleep can wait. He has better things to do.

The rest of his family is gathered downstairs when he comes down. Sprawled in various positions, the room is quiet. They’re clearly all waiting nervously, with the way Diego is spinning a pen between his fingers absentmindedly, and Vanya is picking at her skirt.

Allison sees him first, and her eyes fly open. She brings a hand up to her mouth, and Five stands uncomfortably while she looks him up and down. “Holy shit.”

“What?” Klaus flies up from his own upside-down position- or down, rather, from his own perspective- and crashes into Ben’s lap.

Ben promptly shoves him to the floor. Klaus is undeterred by his new position, all gangly limbs tangled on the floor. He pushes himself up into a sitting position.

“Rude.” Ben just shrugs at him.

“You can’t seriously wear that out,” Diego says.

Five bristles defensively, looking down at himself. “Why the hell not?”

“I’ve had nightmares about your ghost haunting me. Looks just like you right now.”

“You want to wear the Academy uniform out and about?”

“We used to before!”

“You’re going to draw so much attention like that, Five,” Allison adds.

His little hands ball into fists. “I don’t have any other clothes,” he grits out. “And besides, I’ve been missing. Most people might not recognize me at first glance. And if they do, they can mind their own business.”

“They could just think he’s a kid in costume,” Ben suggests. Five looks scandalized.

“It hasn’t been that long, his disappearance was kind of a big deal.” Allison has a little bit of a point, and Luther is nodding along like she’s said the smartest thing he’s ever heard.

Five snaps his fingers, and Vanya turns to him immediately. The others pause, focus drawn. “Oh, good, that still works. Frankly, this conversation is a waste of time. I have no other clothes, and I will not be convinced to wear anything Klaus owns,” he says, pointing his accusatory finger. Klaus’ jaw snaps shut.

Instead, he’s convinced to wear Ben’s older clothes. Mostly dull colors, Five dragged his feet the entire time and tried to veto everything purely out of spite. When it seems his family is too interested in this to relent, Five gives up, tired of wasting time and too hungry to let this drag on further.

Allison nods her head at him when he comes back. “Passable,” she says, and Five sneers.

Vanya gives him an encouraging thumbs up, though. Her timid smile has Five easing up on some of his annoyance.

If he’s honest with himself, Five doesn’t like the new clothes. He supposes the clothes themselves are fine- passable, even, as Allison so elegantly put it- but it doesn’t… sit right.

They were all just barely finding themselves when he left. Sure, they had a few items here and there to call their own (Five’s was never clothes, there were so many better things to waste his precious time procuring). But overall, everything was still uniformed. Most of the things they did have were gifts from mom or Pogo, or knick knacks Five himself would steal or buy on outings with money he’d taken from his father’s office.

Peace offerings for his siblings when things were going most sour. With all the shit Reginald put them through, Five liked to consider it payback.

Now he looks at them all and nothing is familiar. Sure, he can recognize them- but Klaus is taller and gangly and almost as concerningly thin as Five himself, and Luther has shot up in height too. Allison’s hair isn’t the same mandatory slicked down style their father had insisted on for years- it has life to it that Five knows inherently that she takes pride in. Diego has little wisps of stubble that Five continues to pointedly ignore.

Things have changed, and the twisting in his gut has his mouth dry up. There are still some remaining pieces of the siblings he knew before- Vanya still seems horribly uncomfortable in all her skirts, yanking at the hems subconsciously a few times a minute, and Ben’s style of clothing hasn’t evolved too far, but the lump in Five’s throat is stubborn and unyielding.

Anything is better than the bodies- much older, harder to wrap his head around. The tattoos were a dead giveaway, but even that had taken time for him to process. Luther from then was cold and heavy, which might be why his touch burned so badly today.

“Five? Earth to Five?” Klaus is waving a hand in his face suddenly, and Five’s first instinct is to swat it away a little more forcefully than he wanted.

That moment of contact burns too.

“What?” He snaps, having found his voice again. It breaks in the middle, and Diego laughs at him, though he tries to muffle it. Five’s ears go red in shame, and he swallows down the lump in his throat.

“Puberty hits hard, huh,” Diego mutters under his breath. They all hear him anyway.

“I was asking if you were still hungry,” Vanya says in that gentle voice of hers.

“You have no idea,” Five mutters. “Let’s go, before we run into Pogo or run out of daylight. Preferably before both.”

They follow him dutifully before they make it to the front of the house, and Five is hit by more sound than he ever remembers the city being capable of. He winces at it, and Vanya gives him a sympathetic look as if she understands.

“Christ,” he says.

Everyone starts chattering now that they’re on the street, excitement at a group outing taking hold. Five shoves his hands in the pockets of Ben’s borrowed pants, gazing around wondrously, suddenly distracted by the lights and the sounds and the people- Five had forgotten just how many people there really were.

Klaus is pointing out every new building or shop, gesturing wildly the whole time. Ben cuts in here and there to clarify what they actually are when Klaus makes up some lie for the shops he knows nothing about.

Allison is practically skipping along. Vanya seems surprisingly at ease, trailing as close to Five as she can get away with. She keeps glancing at him like he’s going to disappear again, so Five makes a point to catch her gaze every time.

On the other hand, Luther walks stiffly ahead of them at Allison’s side, head on a swivel.

“How’d they get you to come along, big guy?” Five asks him. It has his usual sarcastic tone, but the question itself is genuine.

Luther startles at the attention, and Five smirks at the way he understood who ‘big guy’ was supposed to be.

“Oh, uh…”

“Tell him how you told us no,” Diego sounds amused.
“I didn’t say no-”

“You were going to though.”

“I was trying to explain the risks involved-”

“Oh yeah, Number One trying to tell us what the best choice is-”

“I told him we were going. End of story,” Allison cuts in, exasperated.

Five nods like it’s the only thing that makes sense. It kind of is. “Oh good, some things do stay the same.”

They don’t go to Griddy’s first. His siblings get so swept up in showing him everything new that they end up at the arcade anyway. It’s unfortunate, because his stomach feels like it’s eating itself alive and the sandwich he had earlier barely helped.

He’s also so fucking tired, but Klaus is grinning ear to ear and Ben looks so excited even as Five feels like he’s swaying on his feet, so he pretends he forgot about Griddy’s, too, even when he feels Vanya’s eyes on him.

He’ll be fine. Five can push through, pass out later. And he’s gone longer without food. He’ll be fine.

The arcade itself is cooler than the warm summer air outside. Five immediately misses it. He misses the sun, too, traded away for blinking lights and screaming children.

Not even Five before would have loved this place, but he gives it a chance. They gather around, argue about how they’re going to pay for tokens- Klaus steps up, pays for them all, and Diego gives a half-hearted glare at Allison. “Your treat my ass,” Five hears him mutter.

It’s funny enough that Five smiles to himself. They divvy up tokens and Five finds a handful of little coins dumped on him by Klaus, who promptly disappears into the crowd.

Ben stops halfway to follow Klaus, glancing between the direction he went and Five himself, who waves him away. His brother still hesitates, but the sound of Klaus whooping in the distance has Ben hurrying off.

Suddenly it’s just Five and Vanya. Five wishes he hadn’t been so insistent on them going out and had delved more into the Apocalypse business.

Actually, scratch that. He doesn’t want to give that an ounce of his brain before he gets a good night’s rest, even if the looming threat leaves him uncomfortable. There’s time now, he reassures himself. I’ll figure it out.

Vanya is staring at him shyly. “Should we, um… find a game or something?”

“What’s your favorite?” He asks.

She looks surprised, like she hadn’t considered the possibility he would care. It makes his blood boil.

“I’m not sure…” she looks around the room, taking it all in like she’s contemplating. Five waits patiently. He’s half asleep standing, but he wants Vanya to pick something she likes.

“What about that one,” She asks. Five just smiles.

At some point, he tells her he’s going to the bathroom. Every time he turns around he can see a different sibling of his staring him down and he knows they think he’s going to vanish. He’s so tired, and the lights are giving him a migraine and his stomach keeps flipping between numb and searing pain, so he slips into the bathroom and the second the door is closed behind him he blinks outside and stumbles into the alley wall, heaving.

It takes every part of his measly reserves he had built up since he jumped in the bathroom, but if they had seen him use the front door someone would have followed him and he just needs a minute. They haven’t been here more than two hours, and what’s left of the sun is quickly disappearing. It’s still warm, but breezy, and the little wind that makes it down to him is blissful. He slumps down against the wall and puts his head between his knees and takes a moment of reprieve.

Five needs to pull himself together in time for Reginald’s return. If he can’t jump, it’s going to make everything a lot harder. He can’t hide from their father, and he’d tear the whole building down before he gets ripped away from home again to do something as pathetic as hide.

And his siblings can’t know he lied when he said he wasn’t scared. There’s a heavy weight in his pocket- the ripped page of newspaper, and the eye he had found burn a hole in the fabric. Five knows he has to play nice enough to skate by and figure this out. He’s made it out of one hell- at least this next one is familiar.

He must doze off for a few minutes because he blinks and the shadows are longer than he recalls. Ben is calling his name and it barely registers at first. Five curses and leaps to his feet, dusting himself off. There’s an ache in his neck from how he was sitting. He takes a step forward and then jumps again, so he’s standing in front of Ben near the sidewalk.

“Yes?”

Ben startles so badly he almost falls over, a hand coming up to clutch his chest. “Jesus, I can’t believe- I forgot how terrifying that is sometimes!” Five just quirks a brow at him.

“Did you need something?” Five asks.

“Yeah, actually- why would you just disappear like that?” Ben sounds stern, stepping forward to look down at him. Five is absolutely baffled at this display.

“What?”

“You heard me! Vanya said you went to the bathroom and when you took forever she asked someone to see if you were in there and you weren’t. She was practically beside herself when she came to find me.”

Five is at a loss for words. Guilt creeps up, an uncomfortable feeling that he got rather acquainted with the last two years. Logically, he gets defensive.

“What, I can’t step outside for air? You’re the ones who all scattered the moment we got inside, I’ll have you know.”

Ben studies him and Five holds his gaze. “You understand why we’d be concerned, right?”

Five honest to god laughs. “You got real good at babysitting while I was gone, huh? I mean, god, you sound just like a real parent.”

Ben looks unimpressed, and the look on his face is getting on Five’s nerves. He rubs at his temple in a desperate attempt to ease his ever-present headache.

“I’m fine, and I’m not going to vanish into thin air, okay? I will say sorry to Vanya, and we will move on because there are far more important things to worry about than me going outside for five minutes.”

Ben looks at him in concern. “It’s been over half an hour, Five.”

Ah. So he dozed longer than he thought. “That’s what I said.”

There’s no chance for Ben to call him on it because Vanya stumbles out the front door and locks eyes with Five, and then she’s throwing her arms around him and Five has completely locked up at the touch.

Seeming to notice, she pulls back like she was burned and apologizes profusely.

“Sorry, sorry, I just didn’t know where you went and I got worried. I- I should have known you’d be fine, but I just wanted to make sure.” The words come out in a rushed jumble that Five’s sluggish brain barely puts together, but he pats her stiffly on the shoulder regardless.

And then Vanya stands up at her full height and looks like she’s bracing herself. “Don’t- don’t do that again though!” She deflates, looking between Five and Ben nervously, and adds; “Please?”

“I’m sorry I scared you,” Five says, true to his word.

“Oh, hey, there you guys are.” Luther stands halfway in the doorway, taking up enough space that a few people trying to leave behind him shoot him dirty looks. “Um, Klaus said he’s out of coins now and he really wants a donut. So, uh… I think we’re wrapping up.”

It’s music to Five’s ears, and Vanya leans in to whisper conspiratorially. “I think they just realized they forgot about Griddy’s…”

Five’s stomach surges in a painful response, and he laughs humorlessly. “Don’t worry, so did I.”

They both know he’s lying.

Chapter Text

Five has never been one for religion, but Griddy’s stands along the horizon like a shrine. It’s nice to see it standing at all. The last time he saw Griddy’s, it was a pile of ash and rubble that Five couldn’t have gotten into even if he made a real effort to.

He knows this because he had, more than once. It was a mix of desperate nostalgia and the logical thought that surely some food had to have survived. That was months before he had moved on further into the city, where some of the buildings were in better shape and he could scavenge more to eat than a few bugs. Stubbornness had kept him close to the Academy and what was left of his siblings in their pathetically shallow graves, and pure desperation is what had forced him to move on.

He had thought more than once in the eerie silence of the city nights, that he’d never see Griddy’s standing again.

But he’s too far past the dream-like state he’d been in hours prior. Griddy’s stands directly across the street, pulling at Five’s heart so violently that he can’t even pretend he’s listening to his siblings chatter as they wait at the crosswalk. Five would jump if he had any juice left, but the brief energy he regained from his accidental nap he sapped up immediately (against his own better judgement) and food has always been the biggest source of fuel for his powers anyway.

He could sleep until exactly this time tomorrow and still not guarantee he’ll be able to pull himself through his own blue. It’s the reason he always had granola bars or candy stashed away in his pockets on missions, sugar keeping him sane and charged. Five had none of that in the apocalypse, which physically hurt at times when he went weeks and months without jumping even once, the incessant buzz under his skin fiery and impossible to ignore.

It’s practically empty inside as usual. Only a few other patrons, mostly on the older side, sit scattered around the dining room and the single waitress is one Five doesn’t recognize.

They pick a booth and Five finds himself corralled into the seat next to the window, Vanya squished beside him and Ben and Diego shoved in next to her. Allison sits dead center on the opposite side and starts perusing a menu until the waitress asks them for drinks.

Five orders a water, bored and impatient and desperate to skip straight to the food part. He knows he’ll probably drink it faster than he should, even though his residual thirst has been quenched for hours. Water on his tongue hits the same way he has heard adults talk about alcohol, and while he knows that he isn’t going to run out any time soon, that part of his brain that has been locked in survival mode for two years just keeps screaming more.

“This place looks exactly the same.” Five thinks he’s the one who said it for a moment, the thought stolen straight out of his own head. It registers seconds later that it was actually Luther and Five hasn’t gone completely insane yet.

“They can’t even re-laminate their menus,” Allison agrees, and the distaste on her face would be far funnier if Five could stop staring at the kitchen from his seat.

“I think it’s part of the charm!” Klaus kicks his feet up on the table and six noses scrunch in instantaneous disgust. Diego shoves them off himself, and then kicks him under the table afterwards for good measure.

He slumps forward instead, both elbows propped up and clearly not phased in the slightest. Five starts tapping his foot, just in time for the disgruntled waitress to return. She drops off all their drinks and Five is right- he downs half of it the second it’s in his hand.

They all go in a circle to order and Five thinks they made him last on purpose, but knows it’s more that Luther takes his order first, and Five knows without a doubt that it’s because he thinks it’s some duty of his as Number One.

Vanya orders a plain donut, and then it’s finally his turn, and Five smiles sickly sweet. “I’ll take one of everything.”

Klaus chokes on his drink, coughing violently all over Diego, who startles backward in utter horror. The waitress just raises an eyebrow at him and starts scribbling it down.

“Isn’t that a little excessive,” Allison says, and Five wishes she understood. But she doesn’t, and Five grits his teeth and then smiles wider.

“You’re right,” he says, and she looks triumphant for the half a second before he opens his mouth again. “I’ll take one of everything except the plain, thanks. Throw it in a box while you’re at it.”

She nods and walks away.

“You must suck on dates,” Diego tells him. “Buying out the house and then expecting us to pay.”

Five rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry, I wasn’t expecting you of all people to pay. I’m not even sure you know how to count the coins.”

Diego clearly takes that personally, which Five is unsurprised by. It was a low blow on purpose, but all of Five’s patience has been sapped up and he’s running on fumes. If that means Diego has to sit back and pout like a child for Five to get a moment of peace then it’s a sacrifice he can make for the greater good.

“‘M starting to forget why we even wanted you back in the first place…” He mutters it so quietly that Five almost doesn’t hear him with two other people between them, but he does hear and it takes every single ounce of restraint he has to keep his eyes glued to the window even as Ben gasps and Klaus kicks Diego under the table with enough force to have him hiss.

Five pretends he didn’t hear him, because it’s more convincing than pretending he doesn’t care.

“He doesn’t mean that,” Luther says timidly. Five pastes a bored look on his face and turns.

“Mean what?”

There’s a resounding exhale of relief, and Allison smiles the same bright smile that Five imagines made her famous, if Vanya’s book is anything to go by.

“That the plain donut is the worst one!” Five thinks she needs to work on her lying, but he plays along.

“He should. It is the worst one. It’s all dough- you may as well just eat bread, at least it’s cheaper.” Vanya looks sheepish, so he adds a “No offense.”

“No, no… It’s okay… I just can’t stand how sweet the others are.”

Five zones them out after that. He’d probably drop out of the conversation even if he weren’t so exhausted, but with the way it settles over his very soul like a blanket, he can’t help himself. He can barely keep his head upright as is, and ends up resting it against the window beside him while the chatter washes over him, inaudible as far as he’s concerned.

Five is close to dozing off when he feels like eyes are burning a hole into his skull. He starts, blinking away what was almost sleep, and turns his head as discreetly as he can to look around. At first he thinks it’s his siblings- but none of them are paying him any mind, and he wouldn’t have this lingering sense of dread. So he stares at each and every other patron.

There’s an old man at the counter, back turned to them, and a woman alone at a table on the phone, voice hushed. The only other people are a couple at another booth across the shop- or possibly business partners, Five muses, considering the matching suits and the absolutely unimpressed look on the woman’s face.

They aren’t looking at him either, but the sense of dread lingers. He looks them all over again- the old man sips his coffee, and the blonde woman hangs up the phone and starts packing up her things.

The coworkers stay seated, clearly waiting on their food and Five wonder’s why they’re even here together. The man has neatly trimmed facial hair and seems friendly, which is jarring across from the woman with a scowl on her face and short brown hair and neatly trimmed bangs. Five stares at them for longer than he should, still unsettled.

He’s roused from his distracted stupor when the waitress returns with their order, and it slips from his mind at the sudden presence of food. Five just barely misses the two of them turn back to look at him the second his focus shifts.

True to his order, Five is handed a box filled to the brim with sugar. There are sixteen donuts double stacked for a total of thirty two- minus one where the plain should be, for a real grand total of thirty one- and he thinks he may have gone overboard.

Five chooses one at random. The first bite he takes is almost as blissful as the single sandwich from earlier in the day. The sugar is almost too much on his taste buds and he can imagine donuts aren’t the best choice on his relatively starved body, but nothing can bring him to care. His stomach aches at the sudden addition and his head spins. Five devours it, and then a second and third and fourth.

He eats until he feels sick and eats more, ignores the alarmed looks he’s earning and definitely ignores Luther when he says Five should slow down, bares his teeth at Klaus when he goes to grab one so violently that Klaus snaps his hand back to himself, and still keeps eating until his stomach lurches in a warning.

Five feels better. He also feels so much worse. Around three-quarters of the donuts remain, and Five already knows where in his room he’s going to stash them just in case.
It’s the first time in months he hasn’t felt like his stomach is ripping itself open, and the first time in at least a year that he has felt full. Klaus is telling some elaborate story- so into it that he’s standing up at the end of the table, acting half of it out while his siblings jeer and laugh. Five’s head falls against the window while he watches, and he blinks owlishly through the laughter.

The next thing Five knows, Klaus is reseated and the waitress has their bill in her hand. He picks his head up from the cold glass. The sun is completely gone now- the dark is eerie and Five can imagine the pressing cold outside. The old man at the counter is gone, but the weird pair of coworkers remains.

“Allison, dearest sister of mine- you offered to pay this time, right?” The question is so obviously pointed that not even Luther could miss its meaning.

Allison sits up, smiling like the sun, and says; “Of course- but I heard a rumor you let us have it all on the house.”

Five is awake now, aware that they’re going to have to go- not that he was sleeping in the middle of a restaurant, not at all- and he watches with the same fascination he always has as a distant look clouds the waitress’ face, and she nods dumbly. “Of course,” she says, and it’s their cue to pack up. The seven of them in unison, sliding out of the booth.

Luther has taken Five’s box of donuts, and something in the back of his head is screaming that he needs those, he won’t get them back, it’s the only food for miles- he’s being ridiculous, and he tells himself as much.

They all run out the door like the floor is on fire- well, most of them do. Other than the exhaustion Five feels in his very soul, he’s doing pretty well and he can feel the thrum of his powers stronger than he could have hoped for off of a few donuts. So he jumps so he’s the first one outside, thrilled when the pull listens to him on his first attempt and plasters a smug smile on his face while he waits. Five misses the way the two people still inside stare and stare. (It’s still warm outside, and Five is relieved.)

Joyous chatter turns somber when the Academy comes into view. It looms above them in the dark like a haunted house. They all know some of the horrors inside could rival anything on tv. They march up the stairs together like they’re heading to hell itself, and Five pauses.

“When does father return?”

“Monday,” Luther says seriously. Five nods like they’re talking about the weather, doesn’t let his relief show.

They scatter after that. It’s hesitant, but it’s late and Five shoos them away. True to his word, he stashes the box of donuts away under a few floorboards he had pried up years ago. In that same spot he places the eye, but holds onto the newspaper clipping. He wishes he had taken Vanya’s book with him.

Five finally, blissfully crashes into bed. Sleep takes him immediately and he crashes hard. Five doesn’t have a single dream- none of the ones about his siblings, standing over him in anger, or of being trapped beneath rubble or even the occasional nice ones where he was home again. Five sleeps long into the next afternoon and despite the peaceful rest, he wakes up expecting ash and cold.

His heart speeds up and every survival instinct that has taken over his life for the last two years takes center stage. It takes an embarrassingly long minute for Five’s brain to catch up with him and his breathing evens back out. Five never drew his curtains shut, so sun pours in through the window.

The first thing he does is eat. A few more donuts make his stomach churn, but the sugar is addicting. The second thing he does is get dressed, and when he peers into the hallway the coast is clear for him to take advantage of the empty bathroom. His reflection is only a little better than the glance he got the day before. Some of the color is back, but his hair is longer than he’s comfortable with.

It falls below his ears, close to his chin. Five had been accustomed to shearing excess off with rusty scissors and dull knives, but it had clearly gotten back out of hand. The merits of doing it himself again are fairly low and he knows he can’t hide forever. So he seeks out Grace, feeling guilty about trying to avoid his siblings but desperate to get things in order. Their mother is vacuuming as meticulously as she was designed to. Five stands patiently in the doorway until she notices him.

“Oh, Five! Welcome home!” she says. Everything about her is the same, from her perfectly crisp clothes to her pasted on smile and her perfect posture. Five thinks it’s over the top- he also missed it terribly. A real mother wouldn’t be welcoming him home like he was at school for the day. A real mother wouldn’t survive in their home.

“Could you cut my hair?” There’s no point in playing house with her. She seems as overjoyed at the request as a robot can be, and claps her hands together gently.

“Of course! It has gotten rather out of hand. You know how your father prefers things,” she says musically. “Come with me, we’ll get you taken care of.”

She leads him downstairs to the kitchen and Five follows dutifully, hands tucked in the pockets of his uniform shorts. She pulls a chair out for him to sit and he obeys, and watches Grace tut around the kitchen with a swish of her skirt. The hair scissors are in the same drawer they always are, and she brings them back to where he sits with that same smile.

“The usual?” She asks, like Five would ever try anything else.

“Please,” he says politely. There’s no real need to be rude to their mother, and her presence has brought a lump to his throat he can’t swallow down. He lets her guide his head as hair falls around him and listens to her hum while she works. Five recognizes the tune as one of Mozart’s pieces- Vanya plays it often enough that it’s burned into his brain.

Diego stumbles upon them about halfway through. His eyes are drawn to Five immediately and if Five weren’t so perceptive he would miss the relief in his brother's eyes. Diego plays it off, whistling when he sees them and leaning against the door frame with crossed arms.

“Allison is gonna be pissed you’re getting a makeover without her,” he teases.

“Language,” chides Grace, and Diego folds immediately.

“S-sorry mom.”

Five laughs at him. “I would hardly call this a makeover, but if you’re so eager to break the news to her, be my guest.”

“No thanks- I want nothing to do with her wrath.” Five says nothing back. Diego just stands and watches before the silence is too awkward for him. “Uh, you look- better?”

It makes Five laugh. “Bullshit,” he says, but he’s smiling and something about that seems to be a relief to Diego.

“Language,” Grace chides again, and Diego apologizes on instinct. Which is good, because Five wasn’t sorry in the slightest.

“Seriously, at least you’re not covered in- in-” Diego seems to struggle for a moment.
“Ash? Filth? Blood and dust?” Five lists helpfully, and Diego shifts uncomfortably.

“Not your own blood, I hope,” he replies.

It’s clearly supposed to be lighthearted, but Five has always thought Diego had a terrible sense of humor. Another few strands of hair fall past his ears to the floor. Five just levels him with a serious gaze that makes Diego squirm.

“Some of it,” he says vaguely. Diego looks alarmed.

Grace seems oblivious to most of it, but she does pause. “Are you injured? Should I look you over?”

“I’m fine. Are you almost done?”

“Yes, just a few more pieces to trim into place.” She returns to her humming.

Diego does not return to being quiet. “W-what do you mean by some?”

Five scoffs. “Be serious, Diego. You think I was completely fine for two years? That I didn’t get scraped up?”

It was more than a few scrapes, but Diego doesn’t need to be aware of the list of Five’s slip-ups and failures, of the times he miscalculated or slipped up and had to stitch himself back together again with filthy needles and scavenged thread.

“If it wasn’t all yours then who else’s?”

Yours, he does not say. “Bodies here and there,” is what he does.

“That doesn't sound good,” chimes in Grace. Things go quiet again until she sets the scissors down, cheery as ever. “Alright, Five. All done! Would you like to see?” He declines the offer politely, and she struts out of the room humming all the while.

Five runs his hands over his head, pleased at having the weight gone and feeling more like himself. Diego continues to stare at him, clearly torn, and Five doesn’t probe. His brother will cave at some point. In the meantime, he stands and brushes himself off of any loose strands from his shoulders. Grace will have to come sweep later, but it’s simply not Five’s problem.

“Luther told Pogo you were home,” Diego finally blurts out, and Five curses.

“God damn it.” Suddenly it feels like Five is on a time crunch. Grace is one thing, but Pogo knowing almost guarantees their father will be informed. He at least wanted to have some element of surprise to it, if only to see the look on Reginald’s face when he walks in the room.

“I told him it was a stupid idea, and he was stupid for doing it,” Diego tells him urgently. “But he said we were already disobeying like crazy, and he didn’t want to get in trouble.”

Five clenches his fists at his side, forcing his breathing even. “Is that all he told Pogo?”

“Uh…” Diego seems to think about it while Five’s eyes bore holes into him. “I- I think so, why?”

“Did he mention the apocalypse?” Five practically snaps, and Diego’s shoulders rise in defense.

“I-I don’t know, I d-don’t think s-s-so. Why don’t you ask him?”

“Great idea,” Five says. “If he didn’t, then there’s not a word about it to anyone. Dad keeps everything from us. This is ours to keep from him,” he warns, and then he’s gone in a flash of blue.

Five has jumped straight to Luther’s room and is disappointed to find him absent. He tries Allison’s room next, and she screams when he appears. Five steps out of the way of the magazine that goes flying at his head.

“Can you not?” he snaps.

“Can you not?!”

Five pointedly ignores her, scanning her room and finding his target missing from here as well. It’s just Allison, and she’s glaring at him. “-I mean, seriously, what if I was changing?!” She’s yelling, and Five is grossed out at the thought.

“Ew. You weren’t though- why would you be changing mid-afternoon?” The question seems to offend her further, but he cuts her off before she can comment on it. “Where’s Luther?”

“What? I don’t know, why?”

“Alright, family meeting. Get the others while I hunt down the imbecile,” Five decrees, and then he’s gone as fast as he arrived.

It takes half an hour to get everyone in the same room. Allison still seems pissed off, and Diego is looking between Luther and Five like it’s the most exciting part of his day. Five is tapping his foot impatiently until Klaus (always the last one to show up) throws himself onto an empty seat on the couch.

“What is this about, baby brother?”

Five might kill him. “We’re the same age,” he retorts, and Klaus wiggles one finger at him.

“Nuh uh uh- we were the same age,” he says gleefully. Ben slams a hand over Klaus’s mouth and gives Five a thumbs up.

“Oh good, thank you. Anyway, I believe it’s important we go over this now while we still have time,” Five starts, and looks pointedly at Luther, “Especially since some of us cannot keep our mouths shut.”

Luther bristles under Five’s gaze. “Is that what this is about?”

The rest of the group that is out of the loops looks between them in intrigue. Five sneers.

“Ah, good, you know what you did wrong.”

“Pogo needed to know, and it was my responsibility-”

Diego cackles in disbelief. “Responsibility? That’s what we’re going with?”

“Yes! Sneaking out was one thing, but keeping Five a secret until dad gets home is the worst plan-”

“You don’t care about being responsible, you just wanted to get ahead of it so dad would leave you alone!”

“Just because you’re incapable of being responsible-”

Five snaps his fingers and six pairs of eyes turn to him. “Shut the fuck up. I don’t care about your duty or responsibility. What I care about is what else you spilled.”

Luther seems put off at being told what to do, but Diego just crosses his arms and sinks into the sofa to pout. “Spilled?”

“Did you tell Pogo about the apocalypse?”

Luther seems to realize that’s what Five was talking about and shakes his head. “No, I only mentioned you were home. Pogo didn’t ask.”

Five breathes out a sigh of relief. “Dude,” comes Klaus’s muffled reply. He licks Ben’s hand and then continues. “Luther, big guy, you fucked up. You don’t think you should have checked with us all first?”

“No, there was no reason to. It was important to share and I did because it was my job.” Diego seems like he’s about to start up again, so Five snaps his fingers one more time.

“I already said nobody cares. You ripped the rug out from under me, though, so we need to establish a few things. First of all- not a single goddamn word about the apocalypse. As far as all of us are concerned, the word isn’t a part of your dictionary.” He holds his hand up when it seems like there’s going to be a protest and carries on. “I don’t care if you even believe that’s where I was, but it is and for once we know something our father doesn’t. I am not trying to keep it a secret forever, but let me at least try and figure some things out first.”

“What are you going to tell him?” asks Ben, and if it were anyone else Five would take it as sarcastic. Scratch that, if it were anyone else sans Vanya.

That’s the part that Five is drawing a blank on, though he’s starting to get a few ideas going. “I’m going to tell him I time traveled. I’m going to say I got stuck in the future, and that the future is in disarray.” It’s not the best, but he doesn’t have a lot of time.

Time is not his best friend as of late.

“And you think that’s going to satisfy him?” Allison asks in disbelief.

“Absolutely not,” Five answers honestly. “But that’s as much as he’s going to get from me whether he likes it or not.”

Klaus shakes his head. “And he’s definitely going to fall into the ‘not gonna like it category.’”
“And that is something I will deal with,” Five says decisively. He watches them all look at each other in concern, and Five hates it.

Vanya chimes in quietly from where she sits on the side in an armchair. Five turns to her immediately. “It worries me,” she admits.

“If he asks you, none of you know anything. I didn’t share,” Five says. He speaks gravely, because he knows what he’s asking is a stretch but he cannot let them take the fall for him. “It should keep him from taking it out on you all.”

Vanya looks at him with sad eyes. “...That’s the part that worries me.”

For the first time, Five pretends he doesn’t hear her.

“I don’t like keeping secrets from dad,” Luther says. Five levels him with a glare.

“And I don’t like you telling dad secrets. Get over it and be on our side for once.”

It works in making his brother look guilty. Luther looks at everyone in turn and seems to slump in defeat. “Fine,” he says, and Diego grins ear to ear like they just won the lottery and his favorite show got renewed simultaneously.

“Great. Meeting adjourned. I’ll be in the library catching up on whatever reading I can,” Five announces. He knows it’s selfish and that he’s running away, but he knows they have questions that he doesn’t want to answer right now, especially not after what Luther pulled.

So… he runs away. The library is one of his favorite rooms, and it is as unchanged as the rest of the house. In the apocalypse, few books survived the fires. Vanya’s was one of them, and he read it religiously. It was burned in some corners and terribly beat up, but it was legible and that’s all he needed to keep him sane.

Now he has more options and he picks up one of the math textbooks that Five knows none of his siblings would have cared to touch in his absence and settles down to read. Equations run through Five’s brain so often he barely registers he’s doing the math half the time. It’s second nature, an innate part of how his powers work and with how terribly his time travel stunt went he can’t help but be hungry for more.

Numbers have always made sense. It might be why he never minded his name too much.

Shockingly, none of his siblings hunt him down. Ben does join him a few hours later but much like before Five’s disappearance they sit in a companionable silence together, engrossed in their respective readings. Five outlasts him by a longshot, soaking up the last hours of peace he has before their father’s inevitable arrival the following day.

Five doesn’t know what time he’ll be home- but he’ll play his part smoothly, and show up to breakfast on time and then to class. Either Reginald will confront him early, or let him think he’s safe in routine. It’s a classic move of his father’s, to let them think things may be okay and shatter that peace afterwards.

Chess is one of Five’s favorite activities. Unfortunately, Reginald Hargreeves goes about his life as though it’s all one big game of chess and his children are nothing but pawns. He had always wondered who his father was playing against- there always has to be an opponent, after all, otherwise what’s the point? So he plays his children like pawns and makes their life hell all for the sake of a game none of them can see.

Five revels in the comfort that pawns can become queens when they’re played right.