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Akk called Ayan and asked him to meet up. Something was off though, his voice was distant and emotionless.
He told Ayan to meet at the cliff where his uncle died. It was weirdly specific but maybe there was a reason behind it. There must have been one, an innocent, harmless reason.
That's what Ayan kept telling himself while he was driving to reach that cliff the quickest he could.
Ayan saw Akk standing where he used to leave the flowers in memory of his uncle that passed away long before that night.
Ayan walked to get close to his boyfriend but soon realized something was wrong. Akk wasn't replying to him even though he was calling him again and again.
"Hey Akk. Why did you call me? Akk? What are you doing there? Akk? Are you okay?"
Akk slowly turned around to face him. He had a smile on his face but it was emotionless, he was like an empty toy forced to wear a smile drawn by someone else.
"Thank you for everything Aye. I love you."
Then he turned around again and Ayan's worse nightmare came true. Akk took a few steps closer to the edge of the cliff.
"AKK! What are you doing, Akk?! STOP! AKK". He could only scream, his body was refusing to move, while tears were falling from his eyes. Akk took a last step forward, disappearing under the rocks of the cliff, ending his life in front of Ayan.
Ayan was screaming and screaming but his voice stopped coming out, he couldn't move nor scream, everything went blank and he felt like dying.
"Aye? Aye? Hey, wake up! What's happening? AYE!"
Two hands on his shoulders gave him a strong shake.
"Aye, are you okay? It was just a nightmare. Breathe."
Ayan's face was wet, covered by his tears, his eyes were open but empty, looking at Akk but without being able to see him.
"Aye, breathe. C'mon, breathe with me. Inhale...exhale... inhale...exhale."
"Pills." Whispered Ayan while trying to breathe.
"Pills? The ones for your panic attacks?" Asked Akk worried.
Ayan nodded, holding on Akk's hands like it was the only light at the end of a dark tunnel.
Akk prepared the pills and handed them to him with a glass of water, always full besides his bed.
Ayan finally calmed himself down a bit, his eyes finally focused on Akk's face.
"It was just a nightmare, I'm here with you, okay?" Said Akk to comfort him from whatever bad dream he had.
"What happened? Do you want to talk about it?" Asked cautiously Akk.
Ayan took another couple of breaths and, still panting, whispered, pointing at Akk's chest. "You..." his tears were rolling on his face again, but this time there was Akk, ready to wipe them away.
"You... you killed yourself... just like my uncle..." Let out between sobs.
Akk hold his boyfriend's face and spoke looking at him, right into his eyes "look at me. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here, Aye." Then slowly moved to hug him but letting him the time to adjust and not make him feel oppressed.
"You're here. You're here. You're here." Started murmuring Ayan again and again, like it was a way to convince himself that Akk was right there with him.
"I'm here." Said one last time Akk, breaking the hug, looking at him again in the eyes and getting closer to him to leave a kiss on his lips. "It was just a nightmare. Let's go back to sleep."
Ayan looked scared though. He quickly shaked his head "I don't want to sleep. I'll have another nightmare."
Akk caressed his head and suggested "what about we cuddle for a bit? We won't sleep, we'll just cuddle." Ayan agreed to it and they went back to lay down on the bed. Akk let his boyfriend hug his chest and rest his face on his shoulder, while he was caressing his head.
"Can I hold your hand?" Asked Ayan moving his head to look at Akk.
"Of course, Aye. I'll let you hold it all night so you'll always be sure that I'm not leaving you."
Akk kept cuddling his boyfriend until eventually the other fell asleep and so did he, after making sure he was hugging Ayan really tight.
Ayan started dreaming again.
He was at the swimming pool of the Suppalo school, sat on the edge, dangling his feet in the water.
Suddently, he felt someone else's presence from behind and turned around.
There was teacher Waree looking down at him, with a scornful gaze and a smirk on her face. She stared examinating his knowledge about all her previous lessons. Ayan had to keep up with all those questions and answer correctly to all of them, but he started missing pieces of the things asked and, eventually, her words started overlapping letting him unable to understand.
He was overwhelmed and scared. Her voice was becoming louder and louder, filling his whole mind, not letting him room for an escape. Ayan closed his eyes and covered his ears, wishing for her to disappear, while trying to make himself small, then he let himself fall on the side and realized afterwards that he had fallen into the swimming pool, where he was sitting a moment before.
He, initially, let himself fall to the bottom of the pool, leaving everything behind, but he soon started gasping for air, not being able to breathe underwater.
He felt conflicted: a part of him wanted to fight for his life, swim back to the surface and go back at breathing again, but the other part of him only wanted to give up, leave everything hurtful that was waiting for him on the surface, and wait for his lungs to give up.
He lifted his head, looking at who was waiting for him on the surface of the pool: all his teachers, principls, headmasters and classmates were looking down at him, with red eyes and horrible smirks.
Ayan started crying underwater. "Akk... Akk, please... Help me."
He was starting to feel weak, his lungs lacking air, his mind feeling heavy and feeling his body close to pass out.
He was hugging his own body, curled up on the bottom of the dark pool, his last thought went to Akk's smile, before starting to feel someone holding his hand tightly.
He opened his eyes and weakly looked at himself being drugged outside of the pool. It was Akk's hand, bringing him out of the horror that was that place.
He finally gasped for air and received a tight hug the moment he got out of the water.
"Don't leave me" said Akk. "I'm here."
Ayan, after a moment, broke the hug and looked at Akk's face. He was looking back at him with a bright smile
"Where were you?" Asked Akk "I was waiting for you".
Ayan looked back where a moment before there was the swimming pool but only found a field full of colorful flowers.
"You saved me" whispered Ayan, going back to look at his smiling boyfriend.
"Hey Aye, wake up. We need to go to school. I can't stand up if you're on top of me."
Ayan opened his eyes and found his boyfriend's face upclose trying to wake him up.
Ayan, still half asleep and confused because of the dream he just had, looked at his boyfriend and tears started to fill his eyes.
"Aye? What's wrong?" Asked worried Akk, sitting up.
Ayan didn't reply though, he sat up next to him and kissed him with all the strength he had.
Akk was the reason Ayan was still alive, he was the reason why he didn't give up everything and followed his beloved uncle, he was his hope and the reason why he was still ready to fight.
"Hey. What was that? Are you okay?" Asked Akk blushing, when Ayan moved away from his face.
"I love you" just said Ayan while his boyfriend was wiping away the few tears that were falling from his eyes.
"I love you too, Aye" said Akk, smiling brightly at him.
"Now let's go to school" continued Akk, getting up from the bed "today is exam day, it will be tough."
But Ayan was ready to face every hard day if he was going to have Akk by his side.