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Chapter Text

It was as though the world had slowed. The muffled noise of shouting. Screaming. Wailing. Metal against metal, air being sliced. It was only then that he had realised he had fallen.

Fallen.

Laying in a pool of mud, staring at the grey sky. Ironic; ending right where he started from, born of dirt and suffering.

He was beginning to find it hard keeping his eyes open. Tired of fighting his body, he gave in, seeing nothing but blackness. The sound of his blood pounding in his ears gave a steady beat to focus on, the drone of the noise outside becoming quieter and quieter to him.

He felt his eyes become wet.

‘Am I dying?’

And there was no one there to even answer him that.

…

The war between remnants of Jun Wu’s forces and the rest of the heavens was always to be a bloody one.

Many lesser heavenly assistants had been indoctrinated by Jun Wu, and thus were outraged to the point of full blown riot by his entrapment in Mt Tonglu.The leader, Kai Chao, one of the very few middle court officials who turned to Jun Wu’s side organised the attack.

But the war should be easy. For who else is a match for the mighty martial gods, the civil gods and the upper court combined.

When it comes to war, despite these gods being undoubtedly strong, sometimes quantity really is the deciding factor to victory or failure. And Kai Chao used this to his advantage.

Kai Chao and the other heavenly assistants had gathered thousands upon thousands from the mortal realm to join their fight.

It was an unbelievable feat.

What the enemy lacked in individual technique or power, they made up for in sheer numbers.

The heavens were already in shambles, and with a lethargic flow of spiritual energy giving the gods almost less half of what they would usually have, a sense of impending doom hung heavy over their heads.

…

A humourless laugh sounded through the cool evening air, “I suppose this is that bastard's way of giving us a final parting gift huh? Even beyond the grave he's still creating bullshit problems.” Feng Xin muttered aloud, more to himself, but Mu Qing was to his right.

“Hmm” he hummed in response.

After some seconds Feng Xin finally looked up from where he was re-stringing his bow, having expected Mu Qing to respond with more than just a hmm.

Feng Xin eyed him quizzically from where he sat.

Mu Qing was standing, arms crossed in his dark sleeves, eyes fixed on the field.

A beautiful field, almost glowing with the light from the setting sun, soon to be filled with blood, pain and despair.

“Hey” Feng Xin said as he stood and walked over to Mu Qing.

“Mu Qing..?” he spoke cautiously, the other god’s eyes still fixed on the scenery in front of him.

The silence stretched, Feng Xin getting more and more confused at the others out of character behaviour.

Mu Qing took an audible breath, “I have a bad feeling” as he turned to look directly at Feng Xin.

Feng Xins breath caught almost imperceptibly, for he had never seen Mu Qing hold such an expression.

Mu Qing had always been unreadable to him, and to almost everyone else too. And though his expression was still unreadable, his eyes held something akin to, dare he say, vulnerability?

They held each other's gaze for a while.

Which in itself wasn't an odd thing for them to do. They would glare at each other from across the martial capital hall, when they'd spar, whenever they were together.

But the difference is, they were glaring. They held each other's eyes fueled with anger, aggression and competition. But this moment was unlike those before.

They were gazing. Neithers intent obvious, but it held neutrality. Or, maybe something different.

Mu Qing broke away first, wordlessly walking away toward his tent.

Feng Xin’s eyes trailed after him as he stood a little dumbfoundedly until he turned to look out at what would soon be a graveyard, trying to see what Mu Qing saw.

He sighed and sat back down, finishing stringing and cleaning his bow.

…

The roaring of soldiers got Feng Xins blood pumping. He was in command of a small unit on the east side, whereas Mu Qing was holding the west side of the battle ground.

Feng Xin was shooting arrow after arrow, having to work twice as hard due to only half the spiritual energy powering them.

Feng Xin stopped for a moment to catch his breath as he commanded his unit to cover him.

He glanced up to the sky, “tsk, rain” he muttered, as he reloaded his quiver and bow and began to kill and push the enemy back.

He didn't know how long the battle had been going on for but it must've been a while, especially with the field turning into a mud bath and his energy depleting.

He looked to his side to see Pei Ming ordering his Ming Guang palace officials to prepare for a sudden aggressive charge, Pei Xiu standing to his side. Ling Wen and her deputies were just behind them on the defensive, creating shield upon shield after they were broken with opposing force and powers.

Feng Xins side was doing well. Suspiciously so he thought.

He and his deputies were taking down enemy after enemy and no more were coming. Soon their section of battlefield was clearing, only bodies remained sinking into the mud beneath.

He saw Quan Yizhen and managed to trudge his way over.

Qi Ying was cutting the people down left, right and centre.

“Always so feral” Feng Xin commented to himself before yelling,

“QI YING! OVER HERE”

Quan Yizhen startled, cleanly finished off the last person in his immediate vicinity and made his way over.

“Nan Yang” he said, voice devoid of his usual enthusiastic tone. The continuing spray of rain had made his hair a huge frizzy mess. Under different circumstances, Feng Xin may have laughed.

“The east side is practically clear, the mid ground is stable with Pei ming. Im- there's no way we've beaten them this much already though” he stated, disbelief seeping through his voice.

“My thoughts are exactly, it's almost as though they've pulled troops away from the east” Quan Yizhen stated.

“I wonder if-” But Feng Xin was cut off as a horn sounded

Both whipped their head westward where the sound was coming from, they could just about make out a figure running to the middle, Pei Ming running to meet them halfway.

“I’ll go and see what's happening, you stay here”

Quan Yizhen quickly nodded.

Feng Xin made his way to them whilst hacking down those who got in his way with his secondary sword.

His eyes widened when he realised it was Lang Qingqiu.

Lang Qingqiu who was meant to be stationed west.

Mu Qing was also stationed west.

“WHATS GOING ON” Feng Xin shouted across

“THE WEST IS COMPENSATED, THEY AMBUSHED US, THEY FLANKED THE WESTERN UNITS, WE’RE BARELY HOLDING ON” Lang Qingqiu responded.

“Fuck, FUCK” Feng Xin said angrily has he made it to Pei Ming and Lang Qingqiu

“I've had reports they've even managed to secure a number of easily influenced lesser ghosts and spirits” Pei Ming reported.

Feng Xin couldnt believe what he was hearing, how could they be so stupid not to realise such an obvious plan.

“And Mu Qing, what of Mu Qing, why- hes- HES ON HIS OWN NOW?! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LEAVE HIM AND HIS UNIT WITH NO SUPPORT” Feng Xin exclaimed. Grabbing Lang Qingqiu by the front of his robes he continued “TELL ME GENERAL TAI HUA, WHY IS HE LEFT BY HIMSELF NOW-”

“NAN YANG” Pei Ming intervened, ripping Feng Xin from Lang Qingqiu who honestly looked like he was about to collapse any second.

“He-he told me to go- to warn, you all, I- he was insistent, I-”

“ARGH that fucking self sacrificing fucker, never fucking learns, hes always so-”
A blade whizzed past Feng Xins face.

The corpse of a ghost landed at his feet.

“FOCUS GENERAL! And you owe me one for saving your pretty face” Pei Ming said.

“YOU- oh shit” a swarm of ghosts were heading right toward them from enemy lines directly opposite.

“PEI XIU, GET TAI HUA BEHIND LING WEN” Pei Ming ordered.

“PEI I NEED TO GET TO MU QING” Feng Xin shouted over fighting off the ghosts.

“GO, FENG XIN, I CAN HANDLE THIS, GO, GO”

Feng Xin ran. His pounding seeing the amount of people and ghosts the further west he went.

Even more alarming was how the floor had become a complete mud bath.

He was fighting his way through, hacking and slashing, almost Yizhen style until he felt something sending him to the floor.

A hand with an iron grip held his ankle.

“GET OFF, GET THE FUCK OFF ARGH” he yelled finally manging to slice it.

‘I have to get up, I have to get up’ he repeated to himself. The effort it took was immense. There was fighting happening all above and around him. The mud was making it impossible to move, he kept slipping every time, further draining his energy.

He channelled his limited spiritual power to give him strength and he was finally on two feet, stumbling forwards trying to get his bearings.

“MU QING” he shouted, continuing to lethargically strike his sword around.

MU QING”

He was looking out for dark, cool coloured robes, bright silver armour, long black hair, a mighty sabre flying through the air. But there was nothing.

“Shit, shit, where are you, where are y-you, Mu Qing” he said, panicking now, as rain ran down his face. His mud soaked clothes weighing him down.

Whilst briefly lost in his mind he hadn't noticed the sword coming to his right.

He was a second too late to notice that he wasn't able to flawlessly dodge and his right side was sliced.
He tried to muffle a groan of burning pain as his hand came to grip his side and his other swung at the enemy.

‘I have to keep going, I have to, I have to’ he kept repeating to himself in his mind.

Feng Xin knew Mu Qing was strong- they both were practically the same in strength, and in any other situation Feng Xin would not be worried.

Worried.

He was worried? For someone he had been at odds against for over 800 years…

Under these circumstances of environment conditions, little spiritual power and sheer numbers of enemies, Feng Xin was panicking, no one alone could come out of a situation like this unscathed.

With some renewed vigour he began to run, or run as well as he could, stumbling as his feet would immediately start to sink the second they were put on to the ground.

“MU QING” he began shouting once again, his voice hoarse.

‘Mu Qing, can you hear me? Hello? Mu Qing, where are you?’ he spoke hurriedly into their communication array.

But there was no response.

“Shit, fuck this, i-” he spoke aloud, teeth chattering from the coldness of the rain, still weaving and slicing through the complete chaos around him.

He was looking to the ground until a familiar glint of silver caught his eye.

Although the object was half buried in mud, he would recognise it anywhere- Mu Qings beloved hair guan- tsk of course he cared about looking good when fighting.

He moved his eyes until he saw a form sprawled on the ground. From this distance no one could tell who it was, but Feng Xin could recognise Mu Qing by his mere shadow.

…

The sky had grown dark by the time Feng Xin was finished with preparing his weapons for the battle tomorrow.

He looked to the stars and sighed

“I hope our fate is to be a victorious one”.

Making his way to his tent he passed Mu Qings (which was very close to his own, typical).

He was surprised to see candles still lit and the silhouette of the man not standing or sitting on a chair, but instead knelt on the floor.

“What is he doing?” Feng Xin whispered.

Truthfully Feng Xins nerves had begun to heighten with the growing night, unusual for him, but this was to be an unusual battle afterall, so more apprehension was to be expected.

He wanted something to ease his mind, some company perhaps.

‘Pfttt Mu Qing as company? And no less would he want to see me either’

‘But I could go in to see? The worst he’ll do is just kick me out- but then I don't-’

“Feng Xin, I know you're out there, come in or leave”

Feng Xin froze, then lifted the tent door and with an awkward cough entered.

“Dumbass” Mu Qing said, rolling his eyes.

“HEY I-” but Feng Xin cut himself short when he looked down to see what Mu Qing had in his hands, it was a needle and thread.

“Oh, uh, what are you doing?” Feng Xin spoke rather awkwardly.

“Well esteemed General Ju Yang, this is a needle, and this is thread its commonly used for something called sewing-”

“You little shit I’m not dumb” he said irritably.

He took a moment to think, or perhaps not to think at all, as against all better judgement he huffed and sat down in front of Mu Qing.

“H-HEY?! What the hell do you think you're doing?! Making yourself at home in MY tent?!!” Mu Qing exclaimed, caught off guard.

Feng Xin masterfully ignored him, “Whatcha sewing then?”

Mu Qing looked at him and blinked, “Im embroidering” he said finally, rolling his eyes as per usual.

“Embroidering what?” Feng Xin asked

Mu Qing looked up, “Gods you're like a child. It's a ribbon”

“I like the thread, the gold and silver, it's uh nice” Feng Xin attempted to compliment.

“Yeah?” Mu Qing said evenly, eyes averted back to his work.

“Yeah” Feng Xin responded.

A silence stretched between them.

Feng Xin sat crossed legged, and without warning found his eyes drifting to focus on Mu Qing.

The way deft hands pulled the needle through the ribbon; the way the flickering candle light added warmth to his dark hair. He had always been good at things that required patience and delicacy.

Feng Xin supposed things had changed after Mt Tonglu, for Mu Qing would have not of liked to let Feng Xin sit here observing him sew, especially with how much weight and memories the action of sewing had.

Mu Qing looked up, and pulled a puzzled expression.

Feng Xin cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck, “Ahem, well I’d better get going” standing up.

Mu Qing also stood and moved to place his embroidery down.

Feng Xin stood in the doorway, “I’ll see you tomorrow morning then. Goodnight”

Mu Qing turned to look him directly in the eyes, “Goodnight Feng Xin”.

And Feng Xin left.

As Feng Xin settled into his own tent, he realised something. Mu Qing never asked why he was here, what he wanted. He just let him stay. A small voice told him maybe Mu Qing had wanted the company as much as he did.

And with that fleeting thought, he drifted off into rest.

…

Feng Xins eyes widened as he rushed towards him, wildly swinging at oncoming spirits and ghosts.

“GET OUT THE WAY” he yelled ferally, eyes only locked on to Mu Qing. And the ghost standing over him.

“MU QING” he yelled.

He was suddenly pushed and sent falling heavily to the ground, looking up just in time to see a ghost sword plunged into the other man's gut.

Feng Xin couldn't breathe.

He was shaking as he attempted to crawl his way to standing whilst repeatedly getting knocked down and practically stomped on.

He made it over, and that ghost was gone.

He slumped to his knees next to the man.

The man's face was covered in blood and mud, Feng Xin reached out to desperately wipe it away but found he only ended up smearing it.

“Hey come on, open your eyes”

“Mu Qing?”

His eyes trailed the rest of his mud and blood soaked body.

“Mu Qing? Mu Qing? MU QING? MU QING MU QING”

Feng Xin was shaking violently, his voice cracking with every repeat of Mu Qings name.

He grabbed Mu Qing by the back and cradled his head on his lap.

His frenzied shouts turned into hysterical laughs which soon turned into agonised cries.

He hardly recognised himself. He could hardly believe it was happening again, Mu Qing at Death's door.

He could sense something behind him, but he did not have the motivation, nor the energy to defend himself.

He closed his eyes and almost immediately shot them open again after hearing a pained screech from behind, and slowly turned to see a corpse at the feet of an image clad in white.

“Xi-Xie Lian?” He voiced in an almost whisper.

“Feng Xin!!” Xie Lian said eyebrows knitted, “OH GODS” he exclaimed after seeing what Feng Xin held in his arms.

“I can’t help him,” Feng Xin hopelessly choked out.

Xie Lian stood there, in pure shock seeing his two lifelong friends in front of him in such a situation.

He blinked hard, forcing himself out of his state, “C-come on, Come on, we need to get you behind Ling Wens lines, can you do that?

No response.

Xie Lian grabbed Feng Xins shoulder and shook, “Feng Xin? Feng Xin!??”

Then finally Feng Xin slowly nodded, as though processing such information took several minutes.

Xie Lian, as skilled as he was, still struggled with the enemies surrounding them, but managed to keep a clear path as Feng Xin carried Mu Qing on his back.

Eerily reminiscent of a time not long ago.

…

“Did… Mu Qing Fall?”

It was then, that however much they fought, however much they physically and emotionally hurt each other, however much they supposedly ‘hated’ each other, Feng Xin was scared, truly scared.

To suddenly lose something that had almost been a constant at his side for 800 years?

He had felt a numbness, a horrible empty feeling begin to course through his veins.

…

Mu Qing could just about tell he was slipping in and out of consciousness.

‘Huh I really fucked up this time’ he thought.

He felt as though he was underwater, sinking deeper and deeper and deeper into the void.

Until he felt a blinding pain in his gut. He wanted to scream.

He Needed to scream desperately.

The searing pain too much. Too much.

He couldn't take another breath, his lungs were burning.

…

“GENERALS REGROUP AND RETREAT, WE CANNOT HOLD ON”

Pei Mings voice boomed across the battlefield.

Ling Wen and her officials had been busy drawing an array to send them back up to the heavens.

The Generals of each division and their surviving troops were gathering around the array.

“WE NEED EVERYONE TO PUT IN THEIR SPIRITUAL POWER TO MAKE THIS SEND ALL OF US UP” Ling Wen shouted to everyone.

The enemy and ghost were beginning to pick up speed making their way towards the array; the shields put up would not hold for much longer.

“EVERYONE GET IN”

“Feng Xin here!! Put Mu Qing down” Xie Lian hurriedly spoke.

Feng Xin, amidst the chaos and hurry, slowly and carefully laid the half dead man to the floor.

Once everyone was in, Ling Wen started the activation, as one by one, everyone began to feed in some of their spiritual energy.

The array was lighting but flickering, incredibly unstable.

“Shit SHIT” Pei Ming explained, “This isn't enough!!!”

Feng Xin gave one last looked to Mu Qing and in a daze like state, limped over to Xie Lian,

“See he gets help immediately. Please” he said solemnly.

Xie Lian turned after hearing that voice,

“Feng Xin?”

But it was hard to see through the chaos, the panicking crowd. He could just about see Feng Xin walking away.

“FENG XIN!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING COME BACK!” he yelled trying to push his way through to grab him.

But it was at that moment the shields broke.

“THE SHIELDS ARE DOWN, THE SHIELDS ARE DOWN” Quan Yizhen shouted.

“LING WEN” Pei Ming said, his panic in the eyes of everyone else around him.

“I- I- WE-” Ling Wen stuttered.

Was this it?
Was this how the heavens met such an end?

The enemy was close, so close now. The screeching and wailing getting louder, more aggressive.

Until the ground shook suddenly

The array lit up. Brighter than ever.

And all those looked to where they sensed the source of energy coming from.

Feng Xin.

He had stepped some metres out of the circle and was currently using every ounce of his strength and energy into powering this.

“Oh gods” Ling wen whispered , shocked.

N-NO NAN YANG, FENG XIN, NO” Pei Ming shouted.

“FENG XIN PLEASE, FENG XIN NO PLEASE DONT FENG XIN” Xie Lian sobbed helplessly. Now crouched by Mu Qings body.

Everyone was wide eyed and shocked.

Feng Xin somehow managed to hold a watery smile as he tried to ignore the shouts and pleas for him to stop. But he had to get everyone to safety. Especially Mu Qing. Either they all died, or he could try and finally be successful in his life.

Next thing he knew, the array, and everyone within it, disappeared. Their pleading expressions scarred into his mind.

He took a breath, swaying as he turned around to face hundreds upon hundreds of ghosts and people.

‘Ironic’ he thought, ‘I call Mu Qing the self sacrificing bastard, but look where I am’

He choked out a laugh, “Shit” he said weakly before his vision darkened and he fell to the ground.

…

Light.

It was light and warm Mu Qing realised after fighting to open his eyes.

It took some time to process where he was, but he realised he was lying in a bed, in a room with a large window to the left decorated with flowing white curtains.

He heard some noise to the right and slowly turned his head,

“Mu Qing!!” Xie Lian rushed in at the sight of Mu Qing eyes open.

“Mu Qing, how are you feeling?”

Mu Qing could only look at him wide eyed.

“Mu Qing? We’re in the heavenly capital right now. Do you- do you remember what happened” He asked in his soft voice.

At that line of question Mu Qing averted his eyes.

He remembered- remembered lying on a field of mud, surrounding by darkness, a searing pain in his gut, a pain so unimaginable it-

“MU QING!? Come back to me. Mu Qing, it's okay you're safe, come back!” He heard Xie Lian say, starting to panic, taking one of Mu Qings hands.

Mu Qing hadn't realised he had been shaking violently, eyebrows knit together.

“D-dianxia” he, with much effort, managed to whisper, before falling back into unconsciousness.

Some time later he awoke again, feeling a lot better than he had done before. So much so that he was able to sit up in bed with ease, and combed through his hair with his fingers.

SMASH

His head whipped to the direction the sound came from to see Xie Lian frozen in the doorway, a glass smashed on the ground by his feet.

Before he knew it, Xie Lian was running over and pulled Mu Qing into a hug.

Mu Qing startled, “Uh- Dianxia, Xie Lian wha-”

Xie Lian pulled away, “You- You're awake, you're actually awake” he said with relief and happiness lacing his voice as he pulled a soft smile.

Mu Qing blinked, “I- explain everything… please” he added weakly.

Xie Lian took a deep breath.

“It's been five weeks since you last awoke, and seven in total since the battle.”

Mu Qing blanched, opening his mouth to say something but Xie Lian beat him to it.

“We lost. The battle I mean. I'm not sure how much you remember but they flanked us from the west. Lang Qingqiu has recovered. The palace of Ling Wen has been trying to organise the heavens, as has Pei Ming. Pei Xiu and Qi Ying have been put in charge of the troops.

Mu Qing was trying to take all this information in.

So we lost huh he thought, typical.

With Xie Lian listing off all these names, Mu Qing couldn't help but realise an important one was missing.

He interrupted Xie Lian, “-And Feng Xin”

“H-huh?”

“Feng Xin. Nan Yang, Ju Yang, more muscle than brain” Mu Qing slowly stood from sitting on the bed and huffed “once I get my hands on him”

Mu Qing turned to look him in the face at the silence.

“What is it? Xie Lian, where's Feng Xin?”

Xie Lian stood, “I- Mu Qing he’s, he’s-”

Mu Qing froze, “He’s where?” he said through gritted teeth.

Xie Lian’s eyes became shiny, “Mu Qing” he started in a soft tone, “We were surrounded by the enemy. We had to activate an array to retreat, but we did not have enough spiritual power-”

“And?!” The other snapped, “what's that got to do with where Feng Xin is?”

“He didn't come with us” Xie Lian choked out, “He told me to get you help and then exited the array vicinity” He paused, Mu Qings expression unreadable.

“He then- he used all of his remaining spiritual energy to power it and send us to safety”

Tears began to slip from Xie Lians eyes, “ We scouted the area some days later and have been for weeks but- nothing, Mu Qing-”

Mu Qing was laughing, but not with humour “THAT BASTARD THAT FUCKING IDIOT, WHY?! WHY IS HE SO STUPID?!?” he shouted angrily to himself, head tilted to the ceiling.
Xie Lian began to move toward him, “Mu Qing-” he said weakly.

“No” he replied, throwing his hand out to distance them, “He's not dead. You say you haven't found him right? But you haven't found a body either?”

“I- well uh no; but if you saw what it was lik-”

“Then he's fine. He's somewhere. It's fine. He's probably purposely being difficult, just for me I assume- I’ll have to go get him myself” He said irritatedly, as if this was a normal situation of him and Feng Xin fighting.

“Mu Qing it's been weeks”

“So you don't think he's strong enough?”

“That's not what I- actually yes, yes at that time he was not strong enough, none of us were, none of us ARE, You’ve just woken up from weeks of unconsciousness and a stab to the gut!!!”

Mu Qing was a little taken aback at the outburst.

He sighed, “I'm going to find him, I’m sorry Xie Lian”

Xie Lian too, sighed and walked to leave but just before he walked through the door he stopped, “I can't change your mind can I? Just- you, you promise me one thing, you come back too” and with that he left.

Mu Qing caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and so turned to really look.

“Ugh what a state” he muttered to himself.

He was dressed in simple white robes, his hair loose down his back. His skin a sickly pale colour, his eyes dark. His eyes trailed his body, seeing faint remnants of cuts and bruises.

In ordinary circumstances such injuries would be completely healed within a week with an unlimited flow of spiritual power.

He parted his robes to check his torso, only to see a scar running down the centre of his abdomen.

And just like that, he was once again back in the void. It was cold, freezing even. He was falling deeper and deeper, a feeling of terror seized him, crushed his lungs, his entire body.

He sharply inhaled.

He was back in his room.

He stood dazed and proceeded to lay back on the bed.

‘Why does that keep happening…’

‘I'll come get you tomorrow you dumbass’ he thought before drifting off.

Chapter Text

Mu Qing was at the battleground inspecting the area, the sky was clear, the sun bright. A horribly ironic contrast.

Decomposing bodies were still strewn across the ground, none Feng Xin. He breathed a sigh of relief.

He made his way to the west and was suddenly hit with memories of that day.

…

Mu Qing had thought it strange that it had suddenly gone fairly quiet. He was striking the enemies with practised ease.

“Somethings not right, what are they doing, what tactical move have they planned”

He surveyed the area around him, “a thick forest lay to the west of the battlefield, it curves slightly, almost boxing this area of land in… it would be the perfect place to attack from, but a difficult route for an army of men to move through, unless- they have another ally… someone else? Or something else, creatures or even ghosts… the perfect place for ambush..” he spoke aloud to himself.

He began to make his way into the forest, sneaking as he went. That's when he saw what looked like an enemy division captain talking to someone, he craned his head from his hiding place to see who he was talking to. It was as he suspected- a ghost. He held his breath until both heads snapped in his direction.

He didn't wait to find out if he was quick enough to not have been seen, instead he ran back.

TAI HUA! TAI HUA! IT'S AN AMBUSH” he called out once he made out Lang Qingqius form across from him

“AN AMBUSH? WHAT?!?!”

They made it to each other

“We checked that location before!” he continued “how did they- but there- it wouldn't work!”

“Ghosts” Mu Qing replied breathlessly, “They have ghosts on their side, lesser ghosts and spirits mind you, but still an entire army of them”

Lang Qingqiu was speechless.

“Come, we need to warn th-” but before Mu Qing could finish his sentence an arrow whizzed nothing more than a centimetre past his head.

He whipped around, there was no time, they were here.

Both he and Lang Qingqiu commanded their units to move out and attack. There was no time for tactical positioning.

It was chaos, the sounds of battle overwhelmingly loud. The rain worsened the slipping and sliding.

Mu Qing was good with sabre, he knew he was good. He would never have landed a place in the royal holy pavilion if his skill was never good enough to be spotted by Xie Lian.

But even so, no one could be a match for this amount of ghosts and enemies under such circumstances, no matter how skilled they were.

“LANG QINQIU, YOU MUST GO AND WARN THE MID FIELD DIVISIONS, PEI MING, GO NOW”

“ARE YOU INSANE?!? YOU CANNOT FIGHT THEM OFF ALONE, OUR DIVISIONS HAVE HALVED ALREADY I-

“GENERAL TAI HUA, GO NOW AND GET SUPPORT OR WE ALL DIE!” Mu Qing almost screamed in frustration.

He was somewhat relieved to see Lang Qingqiu finally go, but he was right, now Mu Qing was practically on his own.

He saw his division, some of his own palace officials meet their end right before his eyes. It was his responsibility to protect them, and he couldn't even do that. He felt his eyes sting. A familiar feeling of hopelessness and powerlessness.

All it took was this second of a lapse in his focus that caused a sword to penetrate deeply into his left arm.

He reeled back with a sharp cry,

His Zhanmadao felt like it weighed bricks in his right grip as he, with all his strength, tried to swing at those coming toward him.

He was stumbling, feet sinking into the mud. He held his sabre with both hands, the rain making it hard to grip.

He looked down trying to find his foot, but all he was faced with were the blank, empty expressions of his fallen division members. His fallen Xuan Zhen officials. Blank empty eyes pierced into his soul.

He was dazedly stumbling trying to tear his gaze away from the ground until his body jerked, a sudden throbbing in his back.

His hand reached around to feel an arrow sticking out of his lower right back to which he simply grabbed on and pulled it out. His teeth clenched so hard he thought his jaw would break.

He threw it on the ground with a huff, feeling dizzy and disorientated, feeling blood running down his body, his legs finally gave way as he fell backwards, dropping heavily to the ground.

…

Mu Qing found himself kneeling on the ground, desperately clutching his chest gasping for air, eyes watering.

‘Pull yourself together’ he thought to himself.

He stood up on fairly stable legs and back the way he came, stopping once he saw the scorched array symbol on the ground and crouched to lightly touch it.

“Gods Feng Xin, you really did put a lot into this” he muttered aloud.

“Hmm, it's likely Feng Xin was captured. By how much power he put into this, he probably immediately collapsed. Idiot. And to capture a heavenly general would be of use to the enemy. They would have an advantage, leverage, information- a lot.”

Mu Qing made his way across the vast battleground until he reached the enemy side. From what he saw it was pretty much abandoned except some smoke steadily rising into the air.

He stealthy weaved his way through tents until he saw the back of a person sitting at a campfire.

Mu Qing knew he only had one chance to get this right.

With floating steps and lighting-like speed, he was behind the man in a flash, his sabre held against his throat.

“Hello” Mu Qing said in a hauntingly soft voice, “We haven't met, but I believe you have an answer to a question I've been pondering over for a while”

The man, who had been holding his breath this entire time, finally exhaled shakily, “W-what what, who are yo-”

“Tell me where the general you captured is, where was he taken?”

Silence.

“Im… a forgiving person. You tell me right now and I’ll let you go back to… whatever you were eating” he says, pulling a disgusted face at the bowl of what literally looked like food- poisoning-in-a-bowl, almost bad enough to rival Xie Lians meals. And that's saying something.

“I have no idea what you're talking about, '' the man responded, his demeanour more composed now.

‘I don't have time for this’ Mu Qing thought.

Mu Qing sighed. “Right. Well, unfortunately for you, I know you're lying”. Mu Qing didn't really know, this man could genuinely not know a thing, but a little bluffing wouldn't hurt.

“Well clearly, you're wrong”

A sigh “And here I was, being a humble, forgiving person; unfortunately for you I do not have the patience for his right now” and Mu Qing proceeded to shove the man to the ground, holding one side of his face inches from the campfire.

The man writhed in pain trying to suppress screams.

Mu Qing hauled him back up, “Oh haha silly me, I forgot to answer your previous question, who am I? I can be whoever you want me to be, but right now I'm leaning towards being your worst nightmare” he said the last words so coldly he saw the man shiver.

“Now I ask again, where did you take that general?” he said, almost mockingly sweet as he lowered the man's head once again.

The man finally cracked “STOP PLEASE, STOP STOP, IT HURTS I BEG, HE-HE SOUTH, SOUTH FROM HERE see that mountain range, we are in a cave system there, hes-he was taken there please dont-”

Mu Qing lifted his sword and swung a punch to his face, the man dropping to the ground, eyes wide with fear as Mu Qing raised his sword.

“You- you said YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T KILL ME, I'VE TOLD YOU, LET ME GO, I PLEASE DONT KILL ME, I DON'T WANT TO DIE, I'LL CHANGE, PLEASE I BEG I BEG I-”

“You didn't give a second chance to my officials, they didn't want to die but now they are buried six feet under, they were not shown any mercy. I wonder if Feng Xin has pleaded? Why should I show any mercy to scum like you” he said, voice laced with frost, expression blank except eyes holding a deep fury.

The sword came down, cleanly separating the man's head from his shoulders.

Mu Qing shook his head “fool”.

He looked southwards at the huge mountains that towered into the clouds, “here we go” he sighed, and he set off.

…

“Gods, I can't believe I’m actually doing this” Mu Qing said to himself in disbelief.

Walking over the vast plain gave him time to become lost with his thoughts, to reminisce on long past times.

…

“Why are you so irritated? Tell us- what exactly is it that irritates you?!... without his Highness’ appointment, who knows where you'd be!?... I can’t fucking stand your type…

Your Highness I'm telling you all he ever wants is to find reasons to lecture you; he won't let go of any chance he gets to show he's better than you, because he genuinely, seriously believes he is better than you!... I can tolerate your sarcasm and rolling eyes, I can tolerate you standing where you shouldn't in the upper court… go and show off, you're not good enough to wow the heavens anyway… I'm not surprised you’d leap at the chance to use despicable means…

Don’t you dare be so critical, and don’t ever forget who the Fuck you are!”

He could almost remember it word for word. He never showed it of course but those words of Feng Xins had cut deeper than anyone could possibly imagine.

The classism had torn at him the most, especially as it was something he was still yet to escape. His past was still brought up, whether it be explicitly through insults whispered behind his back or thrown directly at him, or a little more subtly at the constant broom joke everyone found hysterical.

He always had a hope- a foolish hope, that Feng Xin and Xie Lian would one day be able to understand him, understand his perspective. But that day was yet to come, ‘if it would ever’ he thought miserably.

“You think too much” and “Communicate, use your words”, typical phrases of Feng Xins toward him throughout their time together.

Contrary to popular belief in the heavens, he was in fact someone who Could communicate.
But after multiple lifetimes of his voice being undervalued, spoken over, belittled by those of higher power, what else could he do.

Xie Lian being in poverty for 800 years had made him understand those afflicted with such misfortune more and the socio-economic issues that ran rampant in the world, but not a whole lot more than that, and even less relating his understanding to Mu Qings highly relevant circumstances, which often felt like a slap in the face to Mu Qing.

Something that played on Mu Qings mind like a buzzing fly that would never leave, was the confrontation with Xie Lian on the heavenly spiritual land. That event and that whole time with him leaving was something Feng Xin never forgot too.

It was the first time Xie Lian had, outloud, regarded him as a ‘friend’.

Mu Qing remembered being taken aback, because even if Xie Lian regarded him as a friend, Mu Qing could never bring himself to think the same. And the timing of the confession just felt… too convenient to Mu Qing, as if him being regarded as ‘friend’ was just him being used for convenience.

Not only was his status and background holding that thought back but also the fact of what friendship is built on, mutual and equal understanding and care. Mu Qing knew that even if Xie Lian regarded him as a friend he was certainly not treated as one, for afterall, he was but a servant.

What kind of friend would look after the other's parents, wash the other's clothes, do all the cleaning, and do all this whilst neglecting his own mother and not receiving anything consistent and of equal value in return?

Mu Qing couldn't help but feel bitter at the time.

The precious prince born with a silver spoon in his mouth was humiliated, and his status as a royal served him no purpose in that moment.

Whereas humiliation was nothing new to Mu Qing and so many others he knew; and although Xie Lian may not have realised it, but by asking him to side with the other, he was practically asking Mu Qing to drop his entire livelihood and everything he had worked for.

On top of this he still had people who relied on him, like his ill mother and the children in the slums.

He felt as though it was Xie Lians pride over his life and although both of them were in a difficult situation, he knew he would not change his choice if he went back to the past, because he just couldn't.

…

“Hey! Hey!” a voice called.

Mu Qing shook his head to be greeted with an elderly woman in front of him.

“My dear, are you feeling okay? You've been standing here a while”

Mu Qing tried to get his bearings to find he had at some point stopped walking whilst thinking back on past events.

He felt a wetness in his eyes.

He coughed, “I’m fine, I- thankyou for your concern” he said bowing, “I must get going”

“Aya no no, it will be dark soon! You look awfully pale and rather unwell.” She exclaimed

“I’m okay, I really have somewhere to be”

She sighed, and dug her hands in the basket she was holding “at least take these '' she said, thrusting a pouch into Mu Qings hands.

Mu Qing could hardly refuse, “thank you, get home safe” and he walked away.

‘The lady had warm hands,’ he thought fleetingly.

He opened the pouch to find fresh cherries, his eyes widened.

‘I’ll have to make sure to pay her back soon’.

…

The journey to the foot of the mountains had taken a lot longer than he had thought, but he supposed it shouldn't really be shocking with the reduced spiritual power.

He found a cave entrance, guarded with only one guard which he thought unusual.

‘Hmm well I suppose they did take casualties and fatalities too’ he thought.

“You better be here Feng Xin, you better” he said aloud.

He had spent some time quietly stalking the area, finding several cave entrances. The one he was currently at seemed the most quiet and least busy.

‘I don't want to go in sword blazing, they could probably take me out in a heartbeat. This needs to be done tactically, stealthy. I need to cause as little disruption as possible, go in, grab Feng Xin and get out of there’ he was going over his plan in his head.

Mu Qing waited until the early morning to set his plan in motion. It was the time people were least aware.

He took out the guard cleanly, throwing a small dagger that moved so fast through the air, the man wouldn't have known what hit him.

He crumpled to the ground with little sound.

“Good” Mu Qing said under his breath.

He cautiously crept in and followed the route.

Being back in a cave brought back memories of him and Feng Xin in Hua Cheng's maze of a perverse cave system- he shivered at the thought forcing himself to purge that from his memory.

It was dark, most of the lamps and candles almost all burnt out, only glowing softly.

He soon came to his first problem, the nature of caves, there was a fork in the path. One way seemed to lead down deeper underground, the other upwards into the mountain.

‘If I were to hold a captured general, would I hold him underground or higher up…?’ he pondered.

‘Underground seems likely, most prisons are held there. But… escape can still be possible. If Someone were to try to escape from the top of the mountain, there's no way they could scale down, no less after being imprisoned. Furthermore, someone of Feng Xins ranking they'd want to keep an eye on more, it'd be easier if he was kept near them.’

Mu Qing always thought he had a fairly good sense of direction too, and so he went left, up the carved steps, further into the mountain.

His footsteps were so light he may have well been floating.

There were rooms to his left and right, doorways covered by a hanging cloth. He carefully peeked in to see sleeping soldiers.

He continued on, choosing to go the upwards path when he came to several routes.

‘Feng Xin, where are you?!’ he felt as though he’d been walking for far too long.

Pat pat pat

He froze. Footsteps. He saw the shadow of a person on the wall infront, they would see him once he turned the corner.

He dashed into the nearest room to be met with a hard back as the soldier in front promptly turned.

Mu Qing was just quick enough to clasp a hand over his mouth, another around his throat and the man struggled for air.

“Quickly quickly, pass out already! He said in an angry whisper.

The man did and Mu Qing hauled him on to the bed, footsteps drawing closer.

‘Shit he heard something’

Mu Qing ran to a corner of the room and crouched behind a draw.

Through a small gap he could see the shoes of the man outside the doorway. He lifted the curtain and looked in, eyes scouring each part then landing on the man on the bed.

Mu Qing was holding his breath.

It felt like the man was watching for ages.

He gave one last look, then left.

Mu Qing waited some seconds before breathing a sigh of relief.

He anxiously waited a few minutes more, intently listening before exiting the room and turning where that man had originally come from.

The further upwards he went, the more soldiers were patrolling.

‘This must be a good sign at least’ he thought.

He was light on his feet, expertly, moving in a flash out of the eyeline of those soldiers.

He reached a particularly steep and narrow stair which had small windows carved out in the wall.

He stifled a gasp.

He really was high up.

Almost to the top of the mountain range he estimated.

‘How the fuck are we going to get down’ he thought anxiously.

As he reached the next floor he began to hear voices from a room. He silently stepped nearer, pressing himself against the wall.

“Hes fucking stubborn- we tried that test but th- either way we didn’t- results seem-”

Were they talking about Feng Xin?!? Tests? What tests, what results?!

He desperately strained his ears to catch the conversation but could only make out parts of it.

“the- I disagr- I'm surprised too but not a- handles it well enou- break- resentment- no one will-”

It was at that moment he heard an awful sound. A sound so frightening to him.

Screams.

He needed not another second to recognise whose they were, hell he could recognise Feng Xin by his shadow for heavens sake.

He was so shocked he almost forgot to move as in a blink the two men ran out of the room.

Mu Qing, hurriedly followed them and found himself against a wall in a small alcove,

“He’s still not giving us anymore?” he heard a voice from within.

“No sir”

Another pained scream resonated through the floor.

Mu Qing pressed his back against the wall as hard as he could, slapping a hand over his own mouth, eyes squeezed shut.

“We really don't know how he is managing this”

A loud sigh

“Carry on in a few hours time, dismissed”

He heard the several footsteps of heavy footed men walking down the stairs.

Soon after he heard two sets of lighter footsteps, seemingly going further and further away.

Mu Qing checked his surroundings making his way to the room.

This one had an actual door fitted, though executed pretty poorly.

He gripped the handle and slowly twisted it so as to not make any noise. He was terrified.

…

Chapter Text

“Ugh where the fuck am I?” Feng Xin spoke dazedly, eyes barely open and blurry, a painful throbbing in his skull.

“Haha it seems the Hero General has woken up” Feng Xin heard before promptly receiving a powerful kick to the stomach.

He choked, doubling over.

He once again tried to open his eyes more, as his vision began to clear.

He realised he was on the floor. No- chained to the floor via his ankles and hands.

A table was in the corner in which two men were sitting on swinging their legs.

“What's taking so long?” he muttered frustrated to the other, “COME ON, GET IN HERE! HES AWAKE!” he directed his voice toward an open door Feng Xin saw.

A man in dark grey robes strode in gently and confidently and a smaller man in green robes behind him.

Feng Xin instinctively shrank back,

“HA LOOK HE'S SCARED HAHAHAHA” one of the men on the table pointed and cackled.

“Leave.” The grey robed man said.

“We’ve been guarding him all this time! What do you mean leave?! I wanna see the show-”

All it took was a sharp look.

The soldier instantly ceased his rant and gulped, sheepishly hurrying out along with the other man.

“Don’t be scared little hero” The man said, evenly moving closer toward Feng Xin.

He has a smile on his face but it was far too insincere to have any good intent.

“What a huge sacrifice you made; it nearly cost you your life, you've been unconscious for almost two weeks! If it weren't for us, you wouldn't be alive right now! Imagine that”

“T-wo two weeks?!” Feng Xin managed to choke out, voice hoarse.

“Fetch him some water”, the grey robed man spoke whilst the green robed man obediently complied.

He returned in mere moments and a cup was thrust into Feng Xins chained wrist.

‘This could be poison’ he thought, but by that time he realised he had already downed the entire thing.

“Why am I chained, what-”
“Oh it's just a precaution” he replied coolly, that expression still not falling.

“No, no '' Feng Xins memory of what happened was slowly coming back, “no, no ,NO LET ME GO, let, Let ME GO” He said, struggling against the chains, clanking on the ground.

The man stepped back, and stared for a moment, “calm hero” he said with a chuckle.

“Stop calling me that,” Feng Xin said with gritted teeth.

“Ahaha of course, oh how noble and humble you are” he said, that viper-like smile plastered on his face.

Silence stretched for a while and Feng Xin glared up to this man as the man looked down, his stare filled with arrogant ease.

“Do you even remember who I a-”

“The enemy, hello Kai Chao”

A flash of surprise crossed through his eyes, almost imperceptible but he recovered in a blink “Huh so you do recognise me? That is… strange. Heng Hui, come”

The green robed man stepped forward.

“How is he still so… aware?” Kai Chao asked

“Hmm, he's more stubborn and strong than we thought. But don't worry my lord, this will yield us even better results”

At that Kai Chao’s puzzled expression left, to be replaced with a grin.

He lurched forward in a flash to grab Feng Xins chin.

“Oh our dear hero general,we will Break you” he said mockingly soft.

Feng Xin was hit with a hook to his jaw and sent flying back.

“Heng Hui, start the tests whenever, let me know of the results” and with a sweep of his robes he left.

Soon Feng Xin was left in the room alone, surrounded by four stone walls.

“Shit” he said “FUCK” he shouted in frustration.

He desperately attempted to release himself from the handcuffs but it was useless. He tried to use spiritual power but worryingly, none had returned. None at all.

An unknown amount of time later the man called Heng Hui returned, with two large soldiers in tow.

Hen Hui made his way to the table and began to organise some items.

He looked at the soldiers, understanding flashed through their expressions and they began toward Feng Xin

“No, no what are you doing, what the fuck are you doing!!” He struggled as the men held him down.

“YOU FUCKERS LET ME GO” he was thrashing around but ultimately too weak to do anything.

He looked up and could see Heng Hui walking toward him, a gleaming knife and clear jar of.. Something that looked like smoke, black and swirling.

“Hold him tight now” he said to the soldiers as he used the knife to cut a 2 inch wide line just below Feng xins neck on his upper back.

He grit his teeth suppressing his groans of pain. The knife stabbed deeper.

It was removed and Feng Xin felt a sense of dread, doom.

He felt something searing hot enter the cut. He screamed.

It was spreading through his entire body and it hurt so terribly. His mind was clouding, he felt like ripping something apart, he Needed to rip something apart. He felt.. Resentment. He felt a strong resentful energy attack his meridians, invading what was to always be heavenly and holy.

Tears were running down his face, eyes wide in terror.

After what felt like a lifetime he finally realised he was alone. They had left.

Yet he still felt the pressure of hands holding him down, a strong ache in his neck, the feeling of blood and sweat dripping down his back and over his shoulders.

And yet, his thoughts moved to the heavens, to those he helped rescue. And to Mu Qing.

…

Mu Qing slowly pushed the door open and found a form against the far back wall. It was dark. Only a candle on a small table provided light.

The person in front of him looked still. Terribly, terribly still.

“F-Feng Xi-n??” He could hardly whisper the name out.

He crouched in front of the unrecognisable man whose wrists and ankles were bound with chains.

He reached forward with one hand and cupped the man's face, lifting it.

Mu Qing instinctively raised a hand to his own mouth in pure shock. Although it was dark, he could make out some of the horrific looking injuries across the man's face and shirtless torso. The blood that shone on the floor.

“Feng Xin, hey, it's me, it's Mu Qing, Feng Xin wake up, open your eyes for me, I- I- Feng Xin” Mu Qing whispered, hardly recognising his own voice choked with such emotion.

He held two fingers to his pulse point, feeling sick.

‘A pulse! He's alive, gods he alive’

When Mu Qing looked up to glance at the others' faces, he almost launched himself backwards in shock to see Feng Xins eyes half open.

“Feng Xin?” He said, trying hard to keep his composure, “Feng Xin, its Mu Qing, Mu Qing”

“...Mu… Qing..?”

Mu Qing felt like crying

“Oh my god Feng Xin, oh my gods”

He had a million questions running through his mind, ‘later’ he thought.

“Feng Xin we need to get you out of here yeah? I’m gonna help get you out, but you need to work with me okay? We need to be as quiet as possible”

The other man lethargically nodded.

“These fucking chains” he muttered

He held his hand over each one and directly a burst of spiritual energy which shattered them to pieces, ‘Its lucky I haven’t exhausted my powers getting here’ he thought.

He gently took one of Feng Xins hands and began to feed him spiritual energy, however, the other was not taking it.

It was as though Feng Xin had some sort of barrier up against it.

“Feng Xin you must take the energy I'm giving you”
“I dont- dont think i can” He whispered hoarsely

Mu Qing started, unclear what to do, what that meant? Why? How?

He shook his head, ‘I have to hurry up’ he nervously thought.

He gripped Feng Xin under his arms and hauled him up. “Come on, up and at em big guy”

‘’Big guy’ he reflected ‘he feels so small, he feels.. So fragile,’ Mu Qing worryingly thought. It was something that would never even cross his mind when it came to Feng Xin, and it scared him.

Feng Xin groaned in pain while moving and leaned most of his body weight on Mu Qing as Mu Qing held him up.

“Let's get out of here, yeah?” Mu Qing spoke quietly making his way towards the door.

He peeked out first and then helped Feng Xin out once he saw the coast was clear.

He was about to go back down the stairs he came up when he heard footsteps from that direction.

‘SHIT’

He quickly made a u-turn and walked with Feng Xin back the way they came, continuing down through a twisting corridor, practically holding the entire weight of the other.

“HEY, NOW WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOURE GOING?” a stern voice shouted behind him.

“Oh gods” he exclaimed.

He stood in front of Feng Xin, sabre drawn within seconds, just in time to block the sword attack from the man.

He was good. They parried attacks for a while. Mu Qing getting more and more concerned at the loud clashes and pangs of metal against metal.

It was a small corridor, both were finding it hard to use such weapons in such a confined space.

Mu Qing aimed for the mans sword wielding arm and with a powerful attack managed to hit the weapon out of his grip.

Straight after Mu Qing in a flash sheathed his own weapon and opted for hand to hand combat.

It was quieter and something he knew he was extremely good at. All the sparring with Feng Xin over hundreds of years hadn't been for nothing of course.

He had to fight the urge to turn around and check on Feng Xin, needing all his concentration to incapacitate the man in front of him.

He received a punch to the gut whilst at the same time he expertly hooked an uppercut sending the man backwards, promptly rendering him unconscious.

He groaned in pain but swiftly turned round to pick Feng Xin up who had practically collapsed to the floor.

“Come on, come on, fuck they would have heard the swords, shit” Mu Qing said, more to himself than anyone.

He saw shadows of people at every turn,

“THE GENERAL IS GONE”

“SCOUR THE AREA, WE MUST FIND HIM”

“KILL ANY ACCOMPLICES ON-SIGHT”

“Shit shit shit” Mu Qing whispered, practically dragging Feng Xin by now,

“I THINK HE WENT THIS WAY!”

Mu Qing had never felt such panic in his life, he looked behind and could hear footsteps running closer and closer.

The only option was a small, almost back door entrance that led to the outside of the top of the mountain.

They staggered weaving through trees and bushes, the unsteady ground making it a hundred times harder to traverse.

“THEY’RE OUTSIDE, THE MOUNTAIN TOP OUTSIDE” Mu Qing heard from the distance.

He and Feng Xin were crouched down behind a tree.

“No no, Feng Xin keep your eyes open, keep them open” panic lacing his voice.

With the moonlight he could really see the infliction of pain on Feng Xin. His skin was no longer sunkissed and golden but instead ashy and sickly, dark purple bruises dotted his skin, red raw cuts bled, hair dull falling around his face. His eyes welled up.

‘No no, pull yourself together, we need to get out, first and foremost we need to get to a safe area.’

He startled at the sound of voices and leaves and twigs crunching.

He once again lifted Feng Xin and had no choice but to continue forward. He knew they were reaching the edge of the mountain but there was no other choice. He could not take on tens of these soldiers.

He looked over the edge, swallowing down the feeling of nausea. He could make out a large lake at the base of the mountain.

“HALT”

Mu Qing whipped around to find, swords pointed at him.

A walked forwards, clapping, “My, my, the rival general becomes the hero now! What a turn of events. I must say it Has been entertaining, a good thrill if you know what I mean. Unfortunately for you, you were just a fraction too slow, too unprepared” He said grinning.

He lifted his arms and gestured around, “You have nowhere to go now, surrender yourselves now or I will kill you on sight and take our poor little general here back to his cell” He spoke icily, his smile maniacal.

Mu Qing was frozen, shaking with anger as he gripped Feng Xin tighter.

“No,” Mu Qing responded.

“What?” The man said, his smile dropped a fraction.

“Are you deaf?” Mu Qing smirked, “I said no”

“...”

The man suddenly burst out laughing, “AHAHAHAHA”

“Usually I like to entertain my guests but, oh look at that, you're not a guest. And right now I have no patience to entertain a slum dweller like you”

It took everything Mu Qing had not to flinch and to keep his expression.

“I’ll say again, hand me the general, and surrender yourself”

Mu Qing remained silent. He had only had one option to get out of this mess, and even so, this option was so incredibly risky. But there was no other choice.

“Hmm, it seems my stalling worked, here come my reinforcements” he bluffed looking behind those standing in front of him.

He thanked whatever magical forces that they fell for it, for the second they looked back, he wrapped his arms tightly around Feng Xin and pushed them over.

One of his hands wrapped securely around Feng Xins back, the other holding the back of his head, Feng Xins face pressed into his chest as they free fell head first through the air.

“Let's survive this Feng Xin” he said as he used almost all his energy to create a shield around them, particularly Feng Xin, just seconds before plunging into the water.

…

It was dark. Like the void Mu Qing kept finding himself in, falling deeper and deeper.

“Xuan Zhen”

“Mu Qing”

“Qing’er”

Was repeated all around him through distorted voices.

‘NO, NO STOP’ he screamed internally, he couldn't breathe. He felt like he was losing his mind until he registered a warmth in his arms

Feng Xin!

The fog and darkness cleared as he looked up, able to make out the moon light.

He desperately swam up, dragging Feng Xin with him as his lungs burnt.

They broke the surface and he dragged them both to shore as he promptly collapsed onto his back coughing, breathing hard and fast.

Mu Qing took a few minutes before struggling up to look over Feng Xin.

“Feng Xin, we’re going to need to move from here, now okay? They will be making their way down to get us”

Feng Xin groaned in acknowledgment.

“Okay” Mu Qing whispered to himself, one again, practically half carrying Feng Xin to move as far as they physically could.

He chose to continue southwestwards through a huge but rather pretty forest.

Mu Qing wasn't sure how long they were until they came across a small mountain face that had been slightly hollowed out, not quite a cave but creating some shelter.

He carefully laid Feng Xin down as he scrambled to get wood and start a fire.
“Lucky it's not winter or we’d both be dead already wearing these wet clothes” he thought out loud.

The fire flickered gently as he took off his outer robes and hung them on the branch of a nearby tree.

Left only in his inner robes he made his way over to Feng Xin.

He sat down beside him, “Hey, Feng Xin?”

Feng Xin opened his eyes slowly, “Mu Qing”

“Yeah you big idiot, I’m still here”

He put an arm under Feng Xins back, Feng Xin hissed,

“I’m sorry” Mu Qing said quickly, “just sit up, can you sit up a little?”

He supported the man as he brought a water skin to him, “here, drink”

Feng Xin gulped it down then proceeded to start coughing, “Slowly, slowly Feng Xin”

He helped lay the man back down.

“I’m- I’m going to tend to your injuries now okay”

Feng Xin grunted in response, seemingly half conscious.

Mu Qing ripped a piece of his inner robe to use as a makeshift cloth as he grabbed the bottle of medicine disinfectant from the pouch that had been attached to his belt.

He got to work wiping more stubborn dried blood off the other skin, ‘jumping in that water was a fairly good idea after all, most of the blood and grime washed off, lucky it was a fairly clean lake’

“This will sting”

“hmm”

He dabbed the medicine onto the red and raw wounds, Feng Xins face scrunched up.

With exceedingly gentle hands he began to feel along Feng's legs, hip, ribs, feeling for broken or fractured bones. ‘Ankle fracture, rib fracture, possible rib broken…’ next he took Feng Xins hands.

He held them for longer than necessary, seeing the deep bruises and redness from where the handcuffed chains had rubbed them raw, his eyebrows knitted, ‘possible left lower arm fracture…”
He only had limited spiritual energy and so only wanted to use it on the worst or most troublesome injuries. Mu Qing pressed his hand onto these areas, starting with the rib and attempted to directly use his spiritual power to heal the bones. He closed his eyes in concentration.

To his surprise, it seemed to work, though he still felt a presence trying to block the way. Confused, he took one of Feng Xins hands again, trying to feed spiritual power directly into his meridians but like before, it wouldn't work.

``We're going to have to sort that,’ he thought.

“I'm finished” He said quietly and simply.

“Sit up for me”

Once he helped sit Feng Xin up, he move to looked at his back, “I’m going to tend to your back now ok-”

But before he could finish his sentence Feng Xin suddenly grabbed his wrist, Mu Qing startled and turned to face him to see his wide eyed expression.

“N-No”

Mu Qing swallowed, “F-Feng Xin I have to”

“No- I- I-” He stuttered

Mu Qing moved slightly and knelt in front of him, to the side of his outstretched legs.

“stay here- I- I need to see you- to see that it's you” Feng Qing spoke hoarsely and slowly, eyes shiny and vulnerable.

“O-okay” Mu Qing responded, expression as equally vulnerable as he stared at the others face.

Feng Xin slowly let go of his hand.

Mu Qing wouldn't be able to see the exact wounds but he had remembered the general whereabouts of the worst ones and could use his hands to feel.

He gently glided his hands along the plains of Feng Xins back, all the while maintaining eye contact with Feng Xins intense and open gaze. He used the cloth to wipe away at blood around the wounds, and pat medicine in as Feng Xin hissed sharply.

Mu Qing instinctively moved closer “Its okay, I’m nearly done”

He reached one of the nastiest wounds, a deep cut just below Feng Xins neck. His hands crept closer until Feng Xins arm shot out grab Mu Qings shoulder, “Stop”

“Mu Qings hand stilled, “Feng Xin, it's just me, I need to do something, this is one of the worst, I need to at least seal it”

Feng Xin was shaking.

“Please, let me use some of my spiritual energy just to heal the skin across, I won't do anymore-”

“I-I- don't, no i- can't,” Feng Xin said, breathing speeding up.

“Please Feng Xin” Mu Qing voice cracked.

Seeing Feng Xin like this, he hated it.

Mu Qing moved closer, practically embracing the terrified man, gently guiding Feng Xins head to bury in the crook of his neck.

Mu Qing placed a hand stroking the back of Feng Xins head, his other hovering above the cut.

“I’m going to do it now,” he whispered.

He carefully controlled his energy, only letting a small amount through to seal the wound.

Feng Xins hands tightened in the back of Mu Qings robes, pained noises escaping gritted teeth.

“Im nearly done, a little longer, hold on a little longer Feng Xin”

“It hurts, IT HURTS” Feng Xin sobbed out.

At that Mu Qing wanted to stop, but he was sure this would cause further problems if left untreated so he carried on, not realising when tears began to fall from his own eyes.

“I’m done! It's done, Feng Xin, Feng Xin it's okay, you're okay” He said, voice trembling as he wrapped both arms tightly around the other man.

His body wracked with an onslaught of tears and sobs.

“Oh Feng Xin, what did they do to you” Mu Qing managed to choke out before he too succumbed to silent tears.

They sat there for who knows how long, but Mu Qing could see the sky beginning to lighten, Feng Xin was quiet in his arms, gently breathing.

Mu Qing slowly detached himself from him and laid him down.

He walked to fetch his pretty much dry cape and used it to cover Feng Xin. He sat next to the man, pushing the hair out of his face.

He took a deep shaky breath, head tilted to the sky.

“I did it. I got him out and he's alive” he said breathing a sigh of relief, “He's alive”.

…

Chapter Text

Feng Xin awoke with a groan, a comfortable warmth covering him. He sat up and flinched at seeing the orange sky.

‘Oh yeah, I’m out I- Mu Qing!’

He sat up frantically looking around.

“Mu Qing? Mu Qing?!!” panic began to rise in his hoarse voice.

“Feng Xin! I’m here, idiot, I just went down to the stream” Mu Qing said, walking towards him, hair down and flowing behind him.

“Are you okay? How are you feeling?”

“Im.. alright” He said running a hand through his hair, “Ugh” he exclaimed in disgust removing his hand from his hair.

Mu Qing almost laughed, “Yeah you could do with a proper wash soon”

“Oh yeah, so you have time to look after your own precious locks” Feng Xin said with a roll of his eyes

“Hey! Even stealing my trademark actions now huh” Mu Qing said with an eyebrow raised, “Anyway, here” He said, passing Feng Xin a pouch of something.

Feng was pleasantly surprised to see cherries.

“They may be… a little past their best, but that's all we got right now”.

“Thank you” Feng Xin said

“Yeah yeah, whatever, just dont die choking on the pips-”

“No, no I mean, thank you Mu Qing, for coming to get me, for all of this” he said slowly and quietly.

Heat rose in Mu Qings cheeks he coughed, “Well you also… saved me so” he said letting his voice trail off, “Anyway, plan is, you're still not in great condition at all. There was a kind eldery lady who lived about halfway between here and the battleground. I was thinking we could go there as she was insistent on helping me before. Though I was meaning to pay her back. Regardless, I need to wait some time for my spiritual power to recharge so I can draw us an array and send us back up.”

“That- yeah thats sounds good”

“I also-” Mu Qing thought for a moment, ‘No, it'd be wise not to ask him what happened just yet, “nothing. Let's get going as soon as possible.”

He helped Feng Xin up, who shut his eyes once standing, holding his arms Mu Qing asked “You okay?”

“Yeah, just- give me a second”.

After a few minutes it seemed like he had recovered. However Feng Xin was still only clad in the loose trousers he had been wearing since Mu Qing found him.

“Here wear this,” Mu Qing said, handing Feng Xin his outer robe.

Mu Qing put his cape on over his (fairly grimy) white inner robes and belt.

Once everything was packed they set off.

“I wish you had brought a fucking horse” Feng Xin complained.

Mu Qing almost wanted to laugh. That was the Feng Xin he knew, not the one he held in his arms last night.

“Oh I’m So sorry Nan Yang, yes because I totally knew how events would turn out huh” he said rolling his eyes.

He stayed very close walking next to Feng Xin, worried the other may suddenly collapse or something.

After some time Mu Qing estimated they were nearly there.

“I think she lived at the edge of the plain, at the southern end, kind of near-” He suddenly stopped, noticing the lack of presence beside him.

“Feng Xin?!” he said, whipping around seeing Feng Xin breathing hard, hand clutching his chest.

He immediately ran over and supported him.

“Hey what's wrong?”

“I- I don't know, I just need rest maybe”

“Do you think you can make it a little further,

“-don't know” he said sinking to his knees

“Shit Feng Xin”

‘We’re close, we’re so close, we’ve got to get there…’

Mu Qing bent down in front of him, “Get on my back”

“what-”

“Did I stutter? Get on my damn back!”

He didn't hear Feng Xin move, he was just about to throw him on his back himself until he felt arms wrap around his neck.

He stood supporting Feng Xins legs “Finally” he huffed.

Feng Xin just hmphed.

It had been some time of walking in silence, ‘He’s a lot lighter now, I must remember to get him to eat’ Mu Qing fleetingly thought.

He felt Feng Xinslowly bring his head down to rest on his shoulder, feeling his breath against his neck.

“This is eerily reminiscent of something huh” Feng Xin entertained softly.

Mu Qing let out a huff which could almost be mistaken for a clipped laugh, “Yeah”

“It was you on my back last time, after your near death experience”

Mu Qing said nothing

“I was… really scared you know? You really could've been gone”

“...well.. lucky I'm not huh, I'm still here” Mu Qing said, the softness in his voice surprising himself.

“Yeah.. yeah you are,” Feng Xin responded.

…

Mu Qing could see the little wooden house in the distance ‘Oh thank the gods’ he thought.
“Feng Xin, we’re here”

…

“Feng Xin?”

…

“Hey Feng Xin? Talk to me”

“Feng Xin!?”

Mu Qing mere metres from the doorstep placed the man down.

His eyes were closed, skin too warm.

“Hello? Can I help you? Oh! It’s you my dear!” the elderly woman said, making her way toward them.

She gasped upon seeing Feng Xin, “Oh my, is everything alright?”

“My-my f-f-f-friend, hes injured, we just- you don't need to do a single thing but if we could stay under shelter, just for night, we can leave first light tomorrow and I'll make sure to-” He embarrassingly choked out, cut off by the woman slapping his shoulder “Hush hush, you can stay here as long as you need, quick, get him inside”

Mu Qing placed him down on the bed in a spare room and the lady directed him too.

The air started to become thick, a horrible oppressive force invaded the room,

“LEAVE NOW” he told the woman who seemed to want to argue but decided against it.

A swirling red black had surrounded Feng Xin.

Mu Qing stood over Feng Xin speechless, “w-what?”

“Is this… resentment?”

He notcied the energy seemed to be coming from underneath Feng Xin, so he carefully rolled the man onto his side only to gasp in sheer terror and disbelief.

That awful wound he had managed to close had reopened and was almost pulsing with a suffocating energy.

“May the gods have mercy” he whispered in frozen shock.

‘Fuck, I have to close this, gods, shit, fuck, I dont know what to do, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO’ he raged internally.

Resentful energy was dangerous. He didn't want to touch it but there was nothing else he could think of at the moment. So, against all better judgement, Mu Qing settled his hand atop the oozing open wound.

…

He took a sharp breath in.

He was sinking into the darkness.

“YOU FUCKERS LET ME GO, FUCK”

“Hold him tight now”

“He has been taking the resentful energy far better than we thought. He has exceeded our expectations.”

“He waking up, hes strong”

“If this is a success we can implement it to our troops”

“Control? It's… a bit hit and miss”

“We can refine it, do not fret”

…

Mu Qing was thrown backwards, crashing against the wall, Feng Xin was sat upright on the bed, arm outstretched, eyes wide.

“..Mu Qing?”

Mu Qing sat frozen, hardly even breathing, not taking his eyes off the man in front of him

He shakily stood.

'Pull yourself together, why the hell would you be scared of Feng Xin of all people!’ he shouted to himself in his own mind.

“W-what the fuck was that?!” Mu Qing said, trying to regain some composure.

“I- they did something-”

“Ha you think?”

“Let me fucking finish!”

Mu Qing walked toward him, still cautious.

“Resentment, I think. Some shitting, diabolical experiment. I-” Feng Xin let out a long sigh rubbing hand down his face, “I can't seem to get rid of it”

“It's invaded all your meridians right?”

Feng Xin nodded grimly.

Feng Xin was just about to lay back down when a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

“Stop that, your back is covered in blood and that cut looks unsightly and gross”

“Gods, that's your problem with it?”

Mu Qing ignored him. Grabbing a cloth from the washbasin and wiping his back down.

“Don’t close it,” Feng Xin suddenly said.

“Feng Xin it can't be left open! It will get infected, or might make whatever the hells going on worse!”

“No” he sternly said, turning his head to bore his gaze directly into My Qings eyes.

It startled Mu Qing. He had never found Feng Xins stare uncomfortable before, in most cases he matched with aggression, even something as simple as eye contact turns in a competition. But this was unfamiliar, this wasn't Feng Xin.

“You-!”

Mu Qing sighed, “At least let me cover it with a bandage, is that alright for Nan Yang?” He said.

“..fine”

…

“Is your friend alright?”

“Yes he's just…” Mu Qing wasn't quite sure how to put it “…not quite feeling himself”.

He was helping the elderly lady wash the dishes after they had eaten. Feng Xin remained in bed, much to his protests that he was feeling a lot better.

“I tidied the plants outside. Oh, I noticed a curtain had broken on the window over there, I fixed that for you too. I just want you to know how grateful I am for, well the cherries and now letting us stay, tell me if you need me to do anything else, I will come back with money if you want and I-”

He stopped himself when he found he was rambling too much.

The lady was looking at him with a fond expression.

“Your mother must love you very dearly young man”

Mu Qing choked at this and felt his eyes begin to sting, his mother was dead. She had been dead for many hundreds of years.

He often wondered what his mother would think of him now. He pondered over it far too much, never coming to a conclusion, even after all this time. He only hoped she wouldn't be too disappointed.

“..yes, she does” he managed to reply, a soft smile on his face as he kept his eyes on the floor.

“I’ll let you go now lad, it's getting late, goodnight” She said softly before heading over to the far side of the house to her own room and shutting the door.

…

‘Gods I probably scared him going insane like that, fucking Kai Chao, Jun Wu the bastard, this fucking war, none of this would have happened and the shitty w-’

He ceased his brief inner monologue when he heard the door open, watching Mu Qing enter.

“Everything alright?” Feng Xin asked.

He noticed the way Mu Qing paused briefly before replying with a simple “yes”.

Feng Xins eyes followed Mu Qing as he walked to the bed and sat on the edge next to Feng Xin.

Feng Xins eyes zoned in on the new angry red purple bruise on Mu Qings jaw.

Out of impulse he reached out his hand to brush the others hair out of the way to see it better until Mu Qings reflexes reacted and caught his wrist.
Feng Xin swallowed, “I uh, got you good… Mu Qing I didn’t-”

“Shut up, it's fine, it’s not like we haven’t beaten each other up for the past 800 years” he said, letting go of Feng Xins wrist.

They sat in silence for a while. Mu Qing looking at the floor whilst Feng Xin kept passing glances to the other.

After some time Mu Qing walked to the window, looking out at the now dark sky.

“This… resentful energy; how does it exactly work then? Do you think you can use it like your spiritual powers?” He said evenly, continuing to face the window.

“I’m really not sure. T-they just practically injected me full of the stuff, observed how I handled it, wrote notes, discussed-” Feng Xin waved his hands around, “whatever nonsensical stuff they were talking about”.

“I mean, I can't exactly control it as well as my spiritual powers. My body knows it doesn't belong, but it doesn't fully reject it either”, he stood and meandered to the centre of the room.

“I suppose I could learn to use it like my spiritual powers, for strength and just the flow of energy. Maybe healing as my body is partially accustomed to resentment? But who knows. I would have to somehow find a supply, the heavens will hardly have it” he said with a humourless laugh.

“Mu Qing?”

The other turned around, “It's late, you need to sleep”.

“Oh, well, yeah okay” Feng Xin replied.

Feng Xin went to lay down on the bed as Mu Qing began making his way over to the chair.

“And what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Feng Xin said with an eyebrow raised.

“Keeping watch,” Mu Qing said, crossing his arms.

“No, nuh uh, You need to sleep too, for fucks sake Mu Qing, you havent slept for days have you?!”

“I-”

“Dear gods, how the hell have You not collapsed already, sleep right now” Feng Xin countered firmly.

“Okay bigshot, where?”

“Uh there's literally a bed right here, or are you blind?”

“YOU-!”

“SHHHHH you wouldn't want to wake the nice lady would you! She’ll definitely hear us at this rate, quit being difficult making a scene and get over here damn it” Feng Xin aggressively whispered.

Mu Qing made a noise of indignant then strode over ‘curse Feng Xin using the nice lady’s kindness against me’

In an instance he took off the plain outer robe jacket the lady had given him and he loosened his inner robe sash.

Left in his loose white inner robe, he climbed into the bed, under the blanket.

They laid on their back side by side awkwardly.

3

2

1

“Your shoulder is digging right into me-!”
“Your hair is literally smothering me-!”

Silence fell again.

Feng Xin let out a short huff of a laugh, “It's like old times. Remember? We had to share a bed multiple times when we went out with Xie Lian when of course he chose the most booked up inn”

“It's nice you can look back fondly,” Mu Qing replied.

Feng Xin startled at this “huh?”

“Exactly what I said”

“Don’t be so enigmatic” Feng Xin said, throwing his hands up in dramatics. “You mean, you can’t? You don't look back on anything nice?”

“Of course there were some not so shitty moments; but- I was a.. servant Feng Xin. I was hired as a servant from the slums”

“Well-! I guess we weren’t friends at the time” he muttered more to himself “but I still wouldn't have wanted anything bad to happen to you! And you know his Highness always thought of you as a friend!” he continued.

“But bad things did still happen to me Feng Xin, and no. I had no friends in the royal palace or in the royal pavilion, its as simple as that-”

“But-”

“Even after 800 years you still don't get it do you” he said woefully.

“Then help me understand-!”

“Goodnight Feng Xin” and he turned on his side, as close to the edge of the bed as possible, back towards Feng Xin.

With a sigh Feng Xin, laying on his back, gave one last glance to the man beside him, his feelings complicated.

‘Oh Mu Qing’ he thought, and with that closed his eyes to sleep.

…

Feng Xin awoke to the sun streaming through the window, a noticeable emptiness to the side of him.

‘I bet that bastard hardly even slept’ he thought frustrated.

Feng Xin dragged himself up, body feeling sore, head clouded.

He slowly dragged himself to the kitchen, “He's not here?”

‘Where the fuck could he have gone?’

It was then that the door opened, startling him out of his thoughts. It seemed to startled Mu Qing by the way his body jumped slightly.

“Gods what the hell are you doing just standing in the middle here!?”

“I just woke up obviously- more to the point, where the hell have You been?!”

Mu Qing deposited a basket on the table “I went to pick some cherries and get some other supplies to thank her”

Feng Xin peeked in, he raised a brow, “where did you get these buns? This grain? I thought you didn't have any money on you?”

“I don't. And I went to the small market stall nearby”

“And?”

Silence passed between them, as they stared challengingly at each other.

“So you fucking stole didnt you?!?!!” Feng Xin whisper-shouted as to not let the elderly lady hear.

Mu Qing sighed “think whatever the fuck you want” and walked back to their room.

Feng Xin stayed in the kitchen the whole day, as he made polite conversation with the lady.

Mu Qing had been in their room since the early morning, and it was getting dark now.

“I’m going to call it a night” he told the old lady before standing up and walking to their room.

“Oh, well okay my dear. Oh and thank you ever so much for the basket!” she said joyfully with a bright smile on her face.

“Oh no- that was Mu Qing really” Feng Xin said awkwardly.

“Oh yes of course it would be, gods he's been so insistent on paying me back bless him” she spoke softly, “anyway, I won't hold you any longer, goodnight”

“Goodnight” Feng Xin said before slipping into his and Mu Qings shared room.

He was met with Mu Qings back as he sat cross legged on the floor, bathed in the orange light of the setting sun.

‘Has he really been meditating all this time’ Feng Xin wondered

“..Mu Qing?”

Silence

“Mu Qing”

Feng Xin walked toward him, “Hey Mu Qing?” he said louder this time.

However as he got close he noticed the man's eyebrows knit together, eyes scrunch, jaw clenched, a painful expression.

“Mu Qing!? Hey, hey wake up, are you okay?” Feng said, kneeling beside him.

He took the others hand to check his meridians but as he did so felt a fleeting yet agonisingly sharp pain in his head as he opened his eyes to find himself surrounded by darkness.

It was like a void, empty yet filled with pain and suffering and-

But next thing he knew he was back in the room. He opened his eyes just in time to see Mu Qings snapped open, wide and shiny.

“Mu Qing, Mu Qing are you okay? Speak to me idiot!!” he said, getting increasingly concerned and panicked.

Mu Qing was breathing hard, hand squeezing Feng Xins.

“Mu Qing breathe” Feng Xin said trying to soften his voice as he shuffled to sit in front of him and caught both hands in his.

“Look at me, breathe, you’re okay”

“S-shit” Mu Qing shakily got out after some deep breaths

“Shit indeed, what the fuck was that! You haven't been like that all day have you?!”

Mu Qing averted his gaze sheepishly.

Feng Xins expression moved to shock, “please tell me you haven't been doing this all day?” he said, almost desperate.

“I've been trying to cultivate, meditate, I need more spiritual energy if I’m going to take us back up.”

“Well dont kill yourself trying to!” Feng Xin exclaimed.

“Ugh stop looking at me like that” Mu Qing said shuffling uncomfortably, he sighed “I had hoped we could leave this evening”

“I know the situation with the spiritual energy being slow, but surely you must of cultivated more by now, right? Just what was that, what I saw, it was just darkness-”

“Somethings… not right. It- I don't know how to explain it. I keep randomly falling back into it, some kind of void. And, I hear stuff.”

“W-what could it be, why?”

“As if I haven't been asking myself that same question, Feng Xin. But, I think I might know. Its- on my-” He sighed “let me show you” he finally said standing up.

Feng Xin followed and stood up too.

Only a slither of sunlight lit the room as it had almost set.

Mu Qing turned with his back to Feng Xin and took his outer robe off, carefully laying it on the bed. He then loosened his inner robe and open the top part.

Mu Qing turned around.

Feng Xin eyes widened slightly at the sight. A scar running down the middle of his abdomen. It was peculiar in shape, almost zig zagging down, with smaller scars branching off it.

He impulsively stepped forward and reached his hand out.

To his great surprise Mu Qing did not move back nor stop his touch.

He lightly traced it with his fingers.

“The sword. The ghost sword” he whispered.

He lifted his eyes to meet Mu Qings.

“On the battlefield, I felt a… searing pain right there” Mu Qing softly spoke, taking Feng Xins hand and positioning it right in the centre of the scar. He didn't move his hand away.

Feng Xin swallowed, “I know. I saw it happen. I- I couldn't get to you in time” he choked out. “But the sword, it was a ghost sword, it was strange though, powerful..”

“Cursed?” Mu Qing said.

“May be” Feng Xin replied, their gazes boring into each other.

A strange feeling began to bubble up in Feng Xins chest. They were standing too close.

He took his hand away, more sudden than he meant.

“We should rest”

“Yeah… yeah lets” Mu Qing agreed, closing his robes once more.

They lay in bed on their backs, very much like the previous night.

After some silence Feng Xin spoke up, “Maybe we could see if there's a Xuan Zhen, or Nan Yang temple nearby?” he said rolling on to his side to face the other, “I know we’re not in our territory but its not uncommon for small shrines of all gods to be scattered everywhere”

Mu Qing hummed, and rolled on to his side too, “Yeah, that's… huh that's actually quite a good idea. I guess you do have a brain after all” he said, smirking.

“Bastard” Feng Xin muttered, but it lacked any real anger.

“Goodnight Feng Xin” Mu Qing said, closing his eyes.

‘He didn't turn back over?’ Feng Xin thought puzzled.

He let his eyes drift around the other's face, ‘even after 800 years you still don't get it do you?’ he recalled Mu Qing saying the previous night.

‘I don't know how to… change things, or fix things between us Mu Qing’

“Goodnight” Feng Xin whispered, and he too shut his eyes and drifted off.

Chapter Text

“And don't hesitate to come back if you need, promise me that!”

“We promise”

…

“You still feeling alright?” Mu Qing asked Feng Xin

“Yeah, not too bad, you?”

“Yeah, alright.”

“So she told us there's some temples and shrines to the east of here especially”

“Yes, we just need to hope she's right thinking one of them is a Xuan Zhen or Nan Yang temple”

It was strange, Mu Qing thought.

After Mt Tonglu their relationship did improve somewhat. They no longer fueled their words nor actions with such cruel intent anymore, that directly ripped open each other's deepest insecurities.

But Mu Qing almost thought it was too good to be true.

One can’t suddenly change overnight. Their old feelings were still there; they just buried them now and were more in control. But Mu Qing knew they were still there. Feng Xin must still think of him the same way.

More so their acting skills had gotten better.

‘We’re bound to go back to the way we were at some point. We’ll reach a breaking point’

“Watch out!”

An arm caught his own, dragging him to the side.

The unexpected action caught Mu Qing off guard as he was broken from his thoughts. He stumbled over his feet, knocking into the side of whom was presumably Feng Xin.

“Get off!” he said far too sharply than he meant, his cheeks growing hot in embarrassment and lingering anger from his own thoughts, ripping himself away.

“What the fuck-?! I just pulled you out the way from tripping and falling on your ass! What's wrong? Why are you so unfocused?”

Mu Qing took a deep breath, trying to feign his anger. Anger he didn't even know exactly why he even felt at this current time.

“Just, let's keep going. We should be close”

Feng Xin side-eyed him suspiciously, but managed to drop it and carry on.

…

“Of fucking course its one of yours” Mu Qing exclaimed defeatedly as they stood outside a small shack.

“And what the fucks that supposed to mean?! Either one of our temples should be fine, we both rule the south together after all.”

“Distasteful.” Mu Qing said as he entered first, eyeing the place.

He heard Feng Xin mutter something under his breath, most likely swear words.

Mu Qing walked to the small altar. Instead of a carved statue which most shrines held, it was a beautifully carved bow hung on the wall, a symbol of the Nan Yang palace.

“Wow” Feng Xin breathed out in astonishment, also seeing the bow.

“Well, I’m going to meditate now,” Mu Qing said, settling crossed legged in the centre of the floor, “so be quiet,” he added.

“Pft as you wish oh high and mighty one” came a reply dripping in sarcasm.

…

It was some time later.

‘YES’ Mu Qing beamed internally, he had managed to guide a steady flow of spiritual energy to his meridians. ‘I suppose being in such a place has helped’.

He typically imagined his spirit in a light and bright forest, similar to one that used to border the slums he lived in all those years ago.

Just as he had gathered enough he noticed the edges of his vision beginning to darken, the flow of energy becominging increasingly unstable.

‘No, no, nonononono, no this again please no this again’

He tried to rip himself out but he couldn't.

The forest was turning darker and darker, the trees twisting into corrupted forms surrounding him.

“We can throw you out at any time. Do a better job”

“That's not the technique we practise here. Do better”

“Ha you're bottom of the class again, wouldn't expect any more from some like you anyway”

“You could disappear and not a single person would even notice”

“Never go there again! You’re unsightly. You think we want your kind walking around such a place?!”

“You’re only here because of the Crown Prince. Without him, you’re nothing. Don't ever forget that.”

“Don’t forget who the fuck you are”

“Bastard child”

“It seems thieving and crime does run in families”

“Go on run to your father- oh, my bad, I forgot, that sinner was executed”

“Imagine looking like that”

“Who the hell would want to associate with someone from the slums of all places”

He was frantically looking around in the darkness. Those phrases attacking him from the deepest darkest places of his mind. The disgust and cruel joy attached to them.

An almost shadowy figure appeared, an object was thrown at Mu Qing.

“Sweep the floors well enough and you may just get something to eat”
Mu Qing looked down to face the broom in his hand.

“Look theres that new slave”

A voice that sounded oddly like his own responded, “I’m an assistant”

Distorted laughter rang out, “ASSISTANT?!? AHAHAHAHAHA”

“How pitiful”

The shadows surrounded him and grew vicious smiles with gleaming, sharp teeth.

He felt an aggressive tug on his hair, a sharp slap to his face, a punch to his lower jaw, a kick to his stomach-

…

He saw a wooden floor below him, a door in front of him, trees out the window.

‘It wasn't real, it wasn't real, it wasn't real’ He repeated to himself, as palms went to press into his eyes.

‘But it was at one time”

His entire body flinched, hands drawn away as his eyes snapped open.

“WHO’S THERE?!” he shouted shakily.

Yet the only response he got was the gentle breeze from outside and the sound of birds chirping.

His eyes welled- ‘no, no pull yourself together’.

After some minutes he finally stood and left the shack.

The sun was beginning to set, “Gods, it has already been a day?” he said to himself as he observed the fading sunlight.

He had expected to see Feng Xin outside, but he wasn't there.

“Feng Xin!” he raised his voice, “Feng Xin!? Where are you?”

No response.

He felt his heart drop. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

Just like that he pushed what just happened to him to the side, his only focus was on Feng Xin.

“FENG XIN” he shouted, his walk turning into a run, eyes scanning his surroundings as well as he could as the night took hold.

“FENG XIN! FENG XIN!” He tried again, voice breaking slightly.

He slowed trying to catch his breath. It was then that he noticed a small clearing, and a figure standing right in the middle.

Mu Qing perked up, “FENG XIN HEY!” he shouted jogging over, “WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU RESPOND TO ME! WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALL-” He stopped himself short upon getting closer.

A black-red energy was swirling around him viciously.

Resentment.

He was just about to approach the man until to his horror he saw lesser spirits weaving between the trees surrounding the man in the centre of the clearing.

Mu Qing was rendered speechless.

He instinctively took a step back.

The man in the clearing slowly began to turn around, eyes directly boring into the others.

“Feng Xin?” Mu Qing cautiously spoke.

They just stood there looking at each other, the amount of resentful energy almost chokingly thick as the lesser spirits calmly swayed on the spot.

Mu Qing was just about to open his mouth when the man suddenly crumpled to the ground.

“FENG XIN” Mu Qing shouted in shock.

Feng Xins collapse seemed to trigger something, as the previously calm spirits almost roared to life and came pummelling towards Mu Qing.

He was almost a second too late unsheathing his sabre, but thankfully he had some luck on his side, from where? Who knows.

They weren't particularly strong but still filled with a power ferocity.

“FENG XIN, FENG XIN GET UP, HEY GET UP” he called out desperately, slicing spirits left right and centre.

‘I cant use spiritual power, i need all the energy for the array’

Mu Qing was almost a master swordsman and sabre wielder, but with such circumstances, he had sustained many thin, but deep scratches and gouges.

“ARGHHHHHH” he yelled defeating the last ones in his immediate vicinity.

He sprinted over to Feng Xin, falling next to him. He rolled him over “Feng Xin, Feng Xin, say something, open your eyes”.

To his surprise the others' eyes fluttered open slightly, only to almost impulsively widen, focusing on something behind Mu Qing.

Feng Xin snapped his hand up and Mu Qing heard an awful bursting noise behind him.

He looked over his shoulder to find the combusted remains of a rather large spirit.

His head whipped back to Feng Xin, who had promptly lost consciousness, but he was still breathing, and that's all Mu Qing needed.

“Nothings ever easy,” he said aloud as he rushed to draw an array surrounding himself and Feng Xin.

He crawled back to kneel beside the other and lifted him so he was in a sitting position. Mu Qing wrapped an arm securely around his shoulders, his other hand touching the ground as he channelled his energy in the array.

‘Please work, please work, please work’

The array flickered.

He closed his eyes in concentration.

It was a horrible feeling, being drained of all energy.

“Please”.

…

He opened his eyes.

Bright light flooded his vision.

He subconsciously gripped Feng Xin tighter.

He was met with familiar robes, and then familiar faces as he looked up to see those standing around him.

‘Is this real?’ he questioned himself, dazed.

He looked down at the peaceful face of the man that lay in his arms, “You're home” He whispered before his vision darkened to nothingness.

…

He fought to open his heavy eyelids, squinting at the brightness.

He felt a warmth on his hand and suddenly remembered what happened.

“Mu Qing!” he said shooting up

“Feng Xin oh gods, oh gods, Feng Xin, We- I- Thought you were- oh gods Feng Xin- I’m sorry, so sorry we couldnt-”

Xie Lian was the one gripping his hand, tears in his eyes.

“Xie Lian?”

“You're alive Feng Xin” he breathed out in almost disbelief.

Feng Xin had forgotten how long it had been since the battle.

He coughed, his voice a little hoarse, “Oh I’m, yeah, yeah” he chuckled at the sheer absurdity of everything that had happened “Im alive”.

Xie Lian suddenly dragged him into a tight hug.

“Mu Qing said he would bring you back, stubborn as ever”

Feng Xin hmphed in amusement, '`Wait!” he said, breaking the hug, “where is he? He's okay right?!”

“Yes, yes, he's in his palace-”

“I want to see him,” Feng Xin interrupted, “Are you sure he's alright?!”

“Feng Xin hes okay, trust me, you need rest, as does he really but- anyway, rest”

Feng Xin went to open his mouth as if to retort but closed it again, “fine” he accepted.

…

“Finally” Feng Xin muttered impatiently to himself as he waited, agitated, for the moon to reach its highest point in the sky.

In about half a day he was already feeling a lot less shaky and weak, though still slightly off; he knew Xie Lian had stationed deputies outside of his private quarters, thus he had only one option.

“HMPH” He exclaimed, landing on the ground beneath his window with a thump.

‘Right, if I get into Mu Qings gardens, I will be able to get to his room from there’

He pulled a cloak over his head, trying to make himself seem less conspicuous as he walked the main street of the heavenly capital passing few deputies and middle court officials, many of whom seemed drunk at such a time.

He made his way to one of the gates that hold the Xuan Zhen garden.

He tried the bolt.

“Shit” he hissed, “locked, of course it would be” he internally slapped himself.

Taking a step back he looked up at the meticulously carved stone wall, pulling a face of pitiful despair.

‘I cant believe i’m fucking doing this, dear fucking gods, I swear- what the fuck am i doing- if anyone sees im just going to fucking die’ his thoughts were running faster than he could keep up with as he reached the top of the wall and began to haul himself over.

‘I must be near the ground now? I could probably just drop?’ he debated in his head, he was feeling weak, arms starting to twitch with exhaustion.

He let go and realised he underestimated the distance he was from the ground.

“UGH” he groaned landing flat on his back “since when did doing something so simple become so fucking hard” he got out through gritted teeth with eyes clenched shut.
“Since when? What do you mean? Nan Yang has always been clumsy” Feng Xin heard a light, almost floaty voice say, his eyes shot open.

He was met with an almost ethereal sight, a grin across the face of the other as he eclipsed the moon.

Feng Xin could only stare dumbly.

“Mu Qing?”

“Duh. Gods you didn't hit your head or something did you? Come on get up” he said offering a hand- which Feng Xin took.

Once he was up, Mu Qing began to walk a little further into the gardens, Feng Xin followed, not quite knowing what to say until his brain seemed to switch back on.

“Wait! Are you okay?!”

Mu Qing turned to face him, “Am I okay? I look okay, no? Nothing a little spiritual energy can't fix anyway- Feng Xin, are YOU okay? What are you doing here?!”

“I um wanted to make sure you were alright, afterall I don't remember much of, well, how I got here I-”

“And you climbed over my garden wall?” He said crossing his arms, a smirk on his features.

Feng Xin flinched, “Well, no, it's I-” Mu Qing butted in “struggled to climb over my garden wall I mean” seemingly trying to hold back some laughter.

“Oh shut the fuck up” Feng Xin said irritably, “Oh I’m so glad to be of amusement” he said sarcastically, feeling his face heat up with embarrassment.

Mu Qing had a hand to his mouth, trying to stifle his laughs,
“YOU-! How long were you even standing there?! You could've at least helped me you bastard-!”

“Oh I just wanted to enjoy the show” he said, then continued more seriously,

“I wouldn't have let you fall”

Feng Xin raised an eyebrow…

“Not from a dangerous distance anyway, gods” Mu Qing said “who wouldn't want to see General Nan Yang fall on his ass. Come here” Mu Qing beckoned.

…

They walked even further, to the rock garden, beautifully crafted. The gardens were truly the epitome of Xuan Zhen, aside from the general himself.

“So” Feng Xin started, “What happened?”

Mu Qing rolled his eyes, “I cultivated enough spiritual energy and made us an array to get up here obviously”

Feng Xin eyed him carefully, “Oh and I assume getting scratched up comes with the array hmm?”

Mu Qing scowled, “Like I said, nothing a little spiritual energy cant heal, they'll be completely gone in but another day”

Feng Xin just crossed his arms and stared the man in the eye before him.

“...What?! I just told you!”

“Not everything”

“Just leave it”

“Why won’t you tell me-”

“Just leave it Feng Xin!”

“Why are you always like this!?” Feng Xin snapped, arms dropping.

“Like what!?” Mu Qing replied, trying to control.

“Just talk! You're so.. So…” Feng Xin motioned with his arms.

“Oh I'm “sOo, soOOo””Mu Qing mocked waving his arms around, “tsk hypocritical of You telling Me to talk. You can hardly get any words out yourself”

Feng Xin took a breath in, how had this escalated so fast?

“You're just- UGH you're just so damn self sacrificing! So obscure about everything, hiding any and every detail you can! I thought we had-”

“I don't owe you a damn thing so why should I tell you anything?! I can do what ever the fuck I wish” Mu Qing said stepping forward

“And self sacrificing??! SAYS YOU! How many times have I saved your sorry ass-

“AND ME YOURS GODDAMNIT” Feng Xin shouted back, “You came and saved me, why? WHY? Why would YOU of all people come to help ME”

“IT WAS FOR XIE LIAN, FOR THE HEAVENS, I DID IT FOR THEM” Mu qing shouted, pained.
Feng Xin recoiled.

“I can ask you the same damn thing Feng Xin. Dont fucking pretend as if you saved me for another reason, it was for Xie Lian, for your reputation, for your pride-”

“SHUT UP, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN KNOW?!” Feng Xin walked up to him, too close for Mu Qings liking “Why do you still have your mindset from 800 years ago?” he questioned, looking Mu Qing dead in the eye.

Mu Qing couldnt discern Feng Xins motives nor feelings in that moment, he gulped, “How dare you” he hissed “HOW FUCKING DARE YOU. ME? CHANGE MY MINDSET? YOU ARE THE FUCKING SAME FENG XIN, STILL BELITTLING ME AND NOT UNDERSTANDING A DAMN THING ABOUT ME”

“THEN FUCKING HELP ME UNDERSTAND”

“I WANT TO- I WANTED TO, I HAVE TRIED SO MANY TIMES-” he briefly closed his eyes “You- I saved you from your burning, collapsing palace, as you stayed there for what? For what Feng Xin, a woman you could hardly even recognise, you were so preoccupied, SHE WAS ALL YOU CARED ABOUT, THAT WHORE OF A GHOS-'' before he could finish his sentence he felt a bleeding pain in the right side of his jaw as Feng Xins fist met his face.

The hit was strong, causing him to stumble backwards slightly.

Mu Qing spat out blood, an almost manical smile upon his face “ha hahahaha keep going Feng Xin, KEEP FUCKING GOING, ALL YOU CARED FOR WAS THAT CHEAP WHORE AND FERAL FETUS, WHOM YOU DIDNT EVEN-”

Another hit, which this time, he lethargically attempted to dodge but it still clipped his nose, “-you didn't even recognise” he finished, eyes gleaming.

Feng Xin was raging.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU SERIOUSLY MUSTVE BEEN DROPPED ON YOUR HEAD AS A CHILD” He took a breath “something to be expected with a childhood like yours” Feng Xin sneered cruelly.

Mu Qing flinched but attempted to remain unaffected

Feng Xin continued, “HUH IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER ID SAY YOU SOUND JEALOUS, I STAYED THERE BECAUSE THEY ARE MY FAMILY-”

“FAMILY? FAMILY?! YOU WERE WITH HER FOR LESS THAN A YEAR-” ‘ and who has been by your side for almost 800 years?!’ he wanted to plead

But Feng Xin grabbed the collar of Mu Qings robes, bringing his face close to the other, “Anyway family- its something I wouldn't expect you to underst-”

“Dont you fucking dare.” Mu Qing whispered almost imperceptibly, head slightly bowed, “Don't you dare finish that sentence Feng Xin” , his voice shaking with unbridled rage.

Mu Qing grabbed the other's arm and ripped it off his collar, he lifted his head meeting raging golden-red eyes, “even if I am not loved now, at least my family genuinely loved me at one point in this dreary life. Who, pray tell, has loved you?” ‘me’ he heard a tiny voice say.

Feng Xins eyes widened “You know fuck all about love, how could you know how to love, and who, ‘pray tell’, would possibly ever love You.”

It was Mu Qings turn to throw a punch now.