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Chapter Text

Naruto doesn't remember a lot of his childhood before he met the Uchihas (not that they know about him). He tends to block it out and focus only on the good things, like sunlight on his face (after almost a month locked in a random villager's basement to "contain the demon creature's venom from spreading further") and meditating (when he's absolutely certain he's safe, which isn't often) and Ichiraku Ramen (the owner and his daughter are kind and friendly and they like him. It's mesmerizing when he realizes).
So when Sakura asks whether he's ever learned proper manners for a dinner table before or if he's just always eaten like a stray dog, he doesn't notice Kakashi's grimace (even though Sasuke does, and his eyes narrow at the implications) and simply says, smiling, "I've never felt the need, Sakura-chan; if I'm going to be fighting for my life, I'm not going to have time to focus on the appropriate table etiquette." because she's not ready for the things he's seen yet.
Like he knows what Naruto's reflecting on, Kakashi catches Sakura's attention with a well-placed comment about a rip in the back of her dress that's showing off way more than she most likely intended it to.
All in all, the fiasco ends with Kakashi getting a thumping, Sakura storming off to fix it, and Sasuke watching with narrowed eyes and whirring thoughts as Naruto leaves the table.
Without finishing his ramen.

Chapter Text

There's a tree in the middle of a park by the Hokage's office that houses squirrels, the odd bird's nest, and, until he was three, Naruto. There was a family of foxes that recognized his scent as intermingled with their Lord Kurama's and raised him until they were killed by those who feared foxes even now. By that age, three, Kuu-chan had been speaking in his head for ages and it wasn't hard to navigate to a safer area with his guidance. They ended up behind the Uchiha house, eating the bits of meat and soup they could find among the trash. They were ill many times but they were smart enough not to get caught.
Until one night. Naruto was almost six, and had been living off the Uchiha's garbage for a little less than three years. That night, they put something in the trash: a whole drumstick from a chicken.

He spared a moment to wonder why it had been thrown out, but seeing nothing visibly wrong with it, he ate it. But afterwards, hiding in his little den in the ground and retching desperately, wishing the burning would go away from his stomach, he realized they must have noticed something was stealing their trash and poisoned the pest with some kind of insecticide or something.
`¤♡¤`
When he woke up, he wasn't in his den or his clothes, and Kuu-chan was screaming in his head, something about cruel bastards and stolen liberties and disgusting filthy hypocrites. Naruto sat up dazedly and wondered why his back and butt hurt so bad. 
"Kuu-chan?" He cried when he tried to move and found blood leaking from his butt, where it hurt the most. "Kuu-chan, it hurts!" He found his pants and put them on, wondering at the bites and bruises covering his skin.
[I know, kit.] Kuu-chan sounded mad, but not at him, and just a little sad, and when Naruto closed his eyes he could see Kuu-chan pacing restlessly. [I know, and we'll make them sorry. We'll make them guilty.]
Naruto left the building quickly, easily finding his way back to his little den, and only upon realizing the den smelled like piss and vomit did he remember the gross stuff he'd eaten.
He kept stealing the Uchiha's trash, but he checked everything carefully now, and he made sure to take a little from everyone on the street, not just the Uchihas.

Chapter Text

::Present Day::

The mission has been grueling, and everyone's tense with that "I just fought for my life you wanna say something?" attitude that, if they're all honest, doesn't ever go away. But all in all: the mission was completed, the pompous idiot who hired them is safely away from their torture devices, and no enemies were sighted. Well, actually, that part's a little strange for an A-rank mission.
Naruto's about to mention this to his team, and he's turning to say it, but Sakura looks over and the look on her face is enough to make him pause and whip around, only to find what out a kunai held to his throat feels like.
"'Sup, dude?" Comes the childish challenge, and he's raising his arms to fight back until he realizes his body's not moving.
Sakura's screaming and he thinks, with his body lolling, his eyes gaping in what was astonishment and is now paralysis, and the blood trickling unapologetically down his neck, that he must look dead.
But he's not.
He's awake as they grab Sakura and Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei, rifle through their gear, and end up camping with him laying still and empty, oddly tranquil, and his team tied up practically naked and wearing chakra restraints.
"Oh, relax!" One enemy complains as Sakura shrieks at them in high-pitched death knells. "'S not like we're gonna rape you! Well, maybe Blondie over here, s'not like he'd put up much of a fight, all blissed out like he is." A laugh, and Naruto's head is dangling as he's dragged off the ground and onto someone's lap like a ragdoll. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Team 7, trussed like turkeys and snarling at the perpetrator. He smiles with all his teeth. 
Someone coos in his ear and there's a faint "Oi, Tatsuki, what the hell do you think you're DOING?!" before his fist flies up and crunches into the man's nose.
Naruto feels a giggle rising up and lets it loose, blocking out the scream of pain from his would-be violator. Why fight it? Everything feels so good, and he just wants to lay there and absorb the sunlight. And that gets his brain off on weird paths.
He's busy thinking about if plants don't move simply because they don't want to when he sees something bright red right in front of his eyes (but his eyes are closed, aren't they?).
It's Kuu-chan, rolling like he's found a patch of foxnip in the grass of his mindscape, tongue flopping heavily and tails wagging in delight.
"Ah dunno whut dey gave yuh, kit, but it's awwwwwwwwesome..." Kuu-chan mewls like a kitten, and Naruto can't help but agree. It's very awesome.
(0)
He's vaguely aware that they make Sasuke carry him the next morning, tied with chakra inhibitors and teeth clenched against what is obviously a degradation of his pride. He snickers into Sasuke's neck and murmurs lowly into his ear, "Ne, Sasuke, s'not so bad is it, touching me? I feel all warm and floaty and Kuu-chan just looooves whatever they gave us! He's all roll-y like a kitten or somethin'. Adorable," He coos, and all three of his teammates shoot him worried and shocked looks as he flops loosely on Sasuke's muscled back.
Somewhere deep inside he's panicking, screaming, rattling the bars and yanking desperately on the chains anchoring him here. He's begging someone to help him, because Kuu-chan's about as much help as a rubber chicken right now and he doesn't like this... weakness.
But on the outside he's bubbly and floating and the sun is blinding him even though it's nighttime out, and he remembers something else he swallowed once that caused this kind of behavior, and he becomes afraid.
His body's jerking and twitching now, trying desperately to expel the toxin slowly killing it, and somewhere he can hear Sakura-chan screaming in horror.
"NARUTO!"
(0)
He wakes in the camp, and right away he can tell something is wrong. Kurama's snarling, tails lashing and body vibrating in anger and fear and hatred. He feels like rubber, stretched and limp as wet ramen noodles. 
He turns his head and finds Sakura-chan watching him, eyes wide and determined. He smiles at her and winces, because something about that feels off, like he pulled a muscle but it's gone numb.
His hand lifts to touch it but that feels wrong too. All...liquidy. His hand pulls away and brings with it a piece of melted skin, dried like jerky and sitting complacent in his palm, like it's trying to be less terrifying than it is.
He stares at it for a while, remembering what's happened and what's going to happen, and in his mind he can hear Kurama raging, but it's weak and resigned and he doesn't sound hopeful. He was there last time, too.
(0)
They reach the destination they've been aiming for, and Team 7 is shoved in a kennel the size of a room. The cavern they're in is the size of a mountain, open at the top and filled with kennels just like this one. Across the way, Gaara looks up and blanches at the sight of Naruto, dragged heavy and limp onto a platform in the center of the cavern.
He's tied down in chakra restraints and regular fastenings weighted down by cinder blocks and bricks of cement. His head rolls to the side and he gazes with lidded eyes at his team and he knows, no matter how this ends, he's not going home with them. He can't.
Sasuke's growling, yanking at the bars of the container and screaming abuse at the group locking them away. Sakura is sitting indian-style, eyes never leaving his own, and he thinks she knows, too. Kakashi is watching, leaning against the back wall of the container and feigning nonchalance like a pro, but his kunai stare is cataloging every movement made, every word said. Naruto lets a tear escape, listens to it trickle off his cheek onto the ground, and Sasuke stops screaming and collapses to his knees, eyes wide. Because Naruto never cries, no matter how bad it gets, and if he's crying now they're all screwed. 
He hears a chant begin and closes his eyes. He lets himself fall asleep. 
There's no darkness to fall into, no murmur in his ear that tells him he's gone. It's so much simpler than that. It's going to bed at night, outwardly sure you'll wake up but doubting it on the inside because you have to get up several times a night and make sure no villagers or shinobi made it through his locked windows and booby traps. That's where his pranks come from, the defences on his apartment.
It's like turning off a television: one minute everything's bright and lively and then the screen turns black.
It's peaceful.
(0)

Chapter Text

He reclines in his mental rocking chair and relaxes, eyelids falling low and limbs going limp. Kuu-chan curls up on his lap and purrs. It's so quiet here... Kuu-chan murmurs, the soft rasp  echoing in Naruto's thigh and causing him to mumble something that sounds vaguely like Japanese but could just as easily be French. It's difficult to say, and Kuu-chan huffs a laugh and closes his eyes.
That odd banging sound grows louder and louder, but they just tune it out. They deserve their rest.
`¤♡¤`
He's alone, but the smell doesn't go away. He cries silently, shoulders heaving and face screwed up, but something's out there, making sound. He finally raises the courage to poke his head out of his little den, to see what that awful smell is, and he catches sight of something tall, with long black hair and a strange robe with red clouds on it. It shouldn't be here, he knows that, and he's too grateful to the Uchihas for feeding him (even if it is involuntary and they tried to poison him once) to let this creature escape, so he tenses and breathes deep. Opens his mouth wide, and lets out a sound that makes every eye over four open wide in remembered terror and hatred. Kuu-chan's been teaching it to him, in case that  one thing ever happened again.
A fox's bark, only as loud as a thunderclap and just as disarming.
The figure whips around furiously and he sees an orange spiral cut into his face and he screams for real this time, a human's noise escaping his battered lungs, before he darts from the hole and along the edge of the fence, clawing at the grass with elongated fingernails and desperate swipes of his hands. He turns back just once at the ending of the street, to see that the figure is fading into a strange wrinkle in space and a black eye with red teardrops glistening in the center is staring at him. A woman, Uchiha-san, and he hates to think that she's crying (he can't stand it) and he wants to go back and help her smile again, the way he's seen her do through open windows and as she leaves the house, but Kuu-chan is crying at him that if he turns around, everything will change. Everything will be different, and he's a child, a little boy.
Change is scary. 
So he runs. He doesn't look back this time.
`¤♡¤`
He coughs and comes up for air, hands raising to slash at a man who isn't there, hasn't been there since he was four and terrified out of his mind because of the ghost at the door, and he can feel someone grab his wrist and pet his forehead. Something wet falls on his face and he frowns, tries to wipe it off, but his arms won't move anymore.
At least they're still there. He'd hate to lose them.

Chapter Text

Sakura can't understand this... blankness. It permeates everything Naruto does, whether it's picking up a glass of water or spilling the blood of an enemy on filthy soil. Ever since that day, he's been a robot, operating on autopilot and living like he's asleep, dreaming. 
Tsunade had said he was locked inside his head, reliving his memories over and over again, and Sakura didn't understand why at that moment Kakashi and she looked so sad, so quiet and mournful as if there was nothing to be done and they'd already lost him. That couldn't be possible.
Sakura wouldn't let it be.
(0)
He's in a wide, open field, standing and watching as his six-year-old body collapses into the grass and tall waving weeds and sobs, eyes clenched just as tightly shut as his fists. He wails, emptying his tears and lungs into the dark, until finally there is nothing left to give and he sits there, empty, and gazes blankly at the stars. 
I am alone. Why is it so hard to get used to this?
[Because you aren't alone, kit. I'm here. And if you ever feel lonely, look up. The stars are there. The sun and moon are there. They'll never leave you behind, and neither will I.] Kuu-chan murmured, mentally wiping a gentle tail around Naruto's subconscious. Naruto smiles ruefully.
"Hello." The voice is startling and both present-Naruto and Chibi Naruto jump and snarl threateningly at the shadow that stares through a bird's face.
Naruto pounces, a fox's tail and ears popping up as Kuu-chan leaps to the forefront, eyes slitted and grieving, teeth jagged and wide.
He never lands.
(0)
Sasuke is unnerved. The dobe isn't here, he can tell that much, but sometimes there are moments when he turns to speak or laugh or argue and the light returns to his eyes, however briefly, and there's a flicker of hope inside Sasuke's stomach that catches him by surprise.
But then the flicker dies because Naruto's turning away, and that glazed, shuttered look spreads thickly over his pupils and Sasuke thinks he might hear a choked sob from Sakura that none of them recognize.
Sasuke's not giving up. Naruto will return all the way.
There will be a way. 
(And somewhere deep in his heart, Sasuke locks the box that whispers he might have allowed himself to love again, if only certain events hadn't transpired. Maybe.)
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