Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Alright folks, we’ve got one more jam. It looks like the teams are neck and neck…” the bullhorn of the announcer was drowned out in the raucous cheer of the crowd. However, the team paid no mind as the noise rung out, huddling around the bench.

“Alright, we need just a few more points. What’s the plan?” the captain asked as she wiped her brow. Sweat poured down her face, smearing blood from a cut on her lip. Luckily, her team’s insignia remained on the bridge of her nose in bright, red lipstick.

Her second-in-command brought out a white board, drawing out x’s and stick figures. The lipstick insignia across his nose was dripping off as well, but the determination in his eyes didn’t fade. “We’ll do the first part of play 8, and once the other team thinks they know what we’re doing…” He slashed his marker on the board. “We wheel them!”

The captain smirked. “I’ll be the jammer?”

The second-in-command nodded slyly. “And I’ll be your pivot.” It was just a precaution; the captain knew she wouldn’t need it.

“Alright, hands in,” the captain called to her teammates as she pulled her yellow mask down. The other skaters each held a hand out to arrange in the middle of their group. “APEX! May our spirits be high!”

“And our scores higher!” they echoed. 

“Down with the false competitors!”

“The true heroes shall rise!” After their hands flew in the air, everyone lined up. A whistle screeched, and wheels went flying.

~

The team won that championship a third year in a row that night, putting the other team to such shame no one could even remember their names. The memory was immortalized in a photograph, the two team leaders slinging their arms around one another and smiling proudly. While the frame it rested in shone a vibrant gold, the image itself seemed to fade, as if aware of the shift in time itself. Now, in the current present of this story, the owner of the photo could only think one question every time her eyes scanned it.

How could it have all gone so wrong?

Chapter Text

“How was boot camp?” the second-in-command asked dryly. He was leaning against the door of the gym where the cheer squad threw each other into the air.

“Come on, practice isn’t that bad,” the captain rolled her eyes as she put her sweater on and slung her bag over her shoulder. Cheer squad at least kept her out of the house and her parents at bay since it could get her a scholarship into university. Plus it could hide if she stayed out past practice. “Unlike all that detail work you do, I’m surprised you don’t throw your shoulder.”

“How am I going to show the diorama of my epic battle if I just ‘skip a paint job’?” he put in air quotes grouchily, and the captain playfully shoved him in the arm.

“God, I can’t wait to go to practice that’s actually fun,” she sighed as she let down her ponytail.

“I can’t believe you waited so long to tell me about this,” he mentioned as he adjusted the strap on his shoulder. Before the school year started, the captain showed him her coveted rink when he started to falter if the Apex’s grip on respect was loosening. Sure, they were only seniors in high school, but what’s a little white lie about their age? “It’s the perfect way to show everyone that we’re no one to be messed with.”

“I just wanted to see if you could handle the heat.”

“Handle the heat? The minute you showed me the rink I started designing my own skates.” The second-in-command stopped walking to reveal his on-going project. They were skates painted in a bright teal with gray accents and lightning bolts.

“Not bad! For someone I met who wore socks and sandals.”

“Would you let that go! I was ten.”

Giggling, the captain swung the door out of the building and walked backwards towards the shuttle stop. “Let’s see if these recruits can handle the heat as well as you can.”

~

“You want something, don’t you?”

Grace jerked her head up from swirling the straw in her drink. She had ordered a strawberry smoothie, which was really an excuse to stay in the cafe where she met weekly to study with her student mentor (how much they actually studied was a different story, regardless of the school’s mentor policy). “What, no! Min, why would you say that?”

“You’re giving me that face,” Min-Gi remarked, sipping his cup of black coffee. Grace didn’t know how he could stand something so bitter. Then again, he would gag any time she would swig a mountain dew, so in a way they were even. Still, his face didn’t wrinkle when he drank it. “And that face means I’m gonna be roped into something.”

“It’s not roping in, it’s just…asking for a small favor,” Grace offered diplomatically. Min’s unamused stare didn’t shift. "Come on, I don’t ask much of you.”

“What about when you convinced me to get my ears pierced with you?”

“You never took off those studs.”

He covered his right ear lobe. “How about the time you called me at 3 AM because you wanted corn dogs at 7-Eleven?”

“You weren’t sleeping and you know it,” Grace pointed a finger at him, causing him to press his lips into a thin line. “Come on, it was better than studying for finals in your room alone, right?”

Min allowed a small grin to crack. “The pizza-homework nights were fun…”

“Or the one time we were working on a lit paper and your mom sent you back to school with all that food.”

“You hogged all the kimchi and ate it by itself,” Min shook his head, and Grace laughed. “I still can’t believe you finished that book in a week no problem and had to help me with it.”

“Come on, you did a good chunk of it on your own,” Grace encouraged as she flicked a tiny crane folded from a receipt at Min, who groaned playfully as it hit him in the chest.

“I still needed your help with my reading and public speaking classes, even though I’m a year older than you,” he argued as he tucked the crane in his shirt pocket. “Sometimes I wonder if you should be the tutor, you’re so smart.”

“Yeah right,” Grace snorted and rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t have passed econ and algebra without you. You don’t need me.”

“Dude!”

“Relax, I’m kidding.” She waved a hand and he slouched his shoulders. Min looked up, noticing as Grace quietly twirled her straw around. His tone was concerned, serious, but not unkind when he asked “What’s on your mind, Grace?”

Grace sucked in a deep breath. “I want to start a club, but I need a student adviser.”

“Really, that’s awesome!” Min perked up, but reverted back to his cautious glance. “Wait, that’s it? Why are you being so weird?”

“What? I’m not being weird!”

“Yes you are! You’re talking like this is a business deal and not a regular conversation.” Fuck, she thought she was getting better about that! Grace barely had a chance to think of a response before Min spoke again, in a lowered voice, “It’s derby, isn’t it?”

Startled, Grace pressed her lips together before giving them a trill. “Mhm, well, not exactly-”

“Grace, we’ve talked about this,” Min groaned, pushing his hair back. “Isn’t this what got you in hot water in the first place?”

“It wasn’t the derby itself,” Grace defended. “It was the stuff the team did…outside the derby that got me in trouble. But this is gonna be a new team! None of that shit anymore.”

“And what makes you think the school is going to fund a club around a sport where you beat each other up on skates?”

“Okay, first of all, I resent that simplification of roller derby, but I will forgive you since you’ve been a very good friend these past months,” she protested, pushing a leg underneath her to perch herself on the seat. “And second, that’s only if it’s a chartered organization. We can make a club without getting money from the school, we just need a student in good standing, such as yourself, to advise!”

“How will you get the money to do what you need to do, then?”

“Bake sales, obviously.” The booth creaked as Min leaned back with his arms crossed and rolled his eyes. She began to get defensive. “I’ll figure out those details later!”

Min huffed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Grace, even if we can get this club up and running, how are you going to convince people to even compete in derby? It doesn’t sound easy from what you’ve told me.”

“I actually thought about that, and I have a compromise,” Grace said, proud that she was prepared for the question. Reaching into her bag, she placed a flyer on the table between the two of them. It said ‘Roller Skate Club Interest Meeting’ in big blocky letters, a date and a meeting time below. A tag line that said ‘no experience, no problem!’ laid at the bottom of the yellow page. The design was haphazardly shellacked together in a Word document with poor spacing of letters and stock images, much to Grace’s dismay, but it was something. “The first meeting I’ll ask if anyone would be interested in making a team, and if they aren’t, we’ll just be a regular club that hangs out at the rink.”

“I-I don’t know Grace,” Min said, and Grace huffed irritably. 

“What, do you want a powerpoint?”

“I just think this all a little too close to home with what happened. Maybe you just need to try something new.”

“Min, I’ve been trying everything,” Grace lowered her voice, feeling as if circles spontaneously sprouted under her eyes. “I’m doing community service, working at the aviation center, and so focused on school I’m taking summer classes. I’ve tried at least three different hobbies and I still feel like a mess. Don’t you ever just want to let loose?” 

Ever since she tried going on the straight and narrow, a huge part of her mourned being able to compete in derby: the adrenaline rush, the community, the ability to forget all obligations and let out her frustrations of trying to be a model daughter to just skate and be messy for a bit. 

And it seemed that judging by his dumbfounded expression, Min resonated with that feeling, too. Despite his efforts to keep up with his grades, the more they spent time together, the less he wore his mask of ‘star student.’ It was apparent with every mention of the future he wrinkled his nose at, every longing look he spared at street musicians when he thought she wasn’t looking, and every vague mention of his friends from home, that he wanted something more than to be a finance major. 

She reached over the table and used her eyes to plead at him. “I really need this. Please, will you help me?”

Min stared at Grace for a moment before rubbing his chin. His mouth flapped open and closed, trying to logic something out. Finally, he released a belabored sigh and looked up at the ceiling, “Okay, fine.”

Grace nearly leaped out of her seat. “Really?”

“Yeah, but only because you need a student adviser and you’re my friend and…that doesn’t mean I’m gonna play because I’m not a sports guy and-” Min’s rambling was cut off by Grace pulling him into a hug.

“Thanks, Min,” Grace whispered, giving him one more squeeze before jumping up to grab her bag. “I’ll start posting the flyers.”

“I’m not skating.”

“I’ll see you at the first meeting!”

“I’m not skating!” He called out as Grace skipped backwards out the door of the cafe. A hint of a smile tugged at his lips, and he tried to cover it with a veneer of dubiousness.

“Bye Min!” He was probably rolling his eyes, but Grace didn’t care. She was too busy flying back to campus, mini stapler ready in her fanny pack. Every cork board, corridor, business window, and telephone pole was smothered with flyers. Seeing each yellow paper hung up to be seen zapped Grace with dopamine. 
Because it was going to be a new year.

~

The Apex’s leaders knew the kids they recruited were far too young to compete in derby, but then again so were they when they started. Yet flocks of misfit teenagers still came to their secret practice location to try out. Not everyone could skate in competition, but those who were considered strong enough for the Apex were still allowed as members and permitted to stay, given they help the team out in some form or another. 

“Looks like they found our symbol,” the second-in-command commented idly, taking pride in his design and secret code containing the meeting information. He was the one who designed the Apex logo, after all. Much effort was taken to spread it as it was scrawled it on graffiti clad walls and hidden flyers for any lost soul to find.

“Notoriety helps too,” the captain said as she hung back on the rail. “Such as being the best in our league.” The Apex only competed in one year, but their vicious reputation preceded them quickly.

“Well hopefully these new recruits are up for it,” he said, eying the crowd for fresh meat.

“They will! Once they realize it’s better to be on top,” she smirked, and whistled out to the crowd. “Who’s ready to skate!”

The teenagers cheered, eager for a taste of victory. Some already dressed the part, whether it was attaching spikes to their clothes or ripping their sleeves off. The two leaders looked at each other, grinning wickedly as they planned the next steps for domination of the rink.

~

“What’s taking everyone so long?” Grace complained, flinging herself dramatically across the bleachers. She had already folded fifteen paper cranes from her excess flyers, and not one person showed up at the school’s gym.

“It’s only been ten minutes,” Min-Gi countered, not looking up from the mini-synth he poked at from on top of the textbooks he skimmed occasionally.

“Ten minutes is a long time for your club’s first meeting,” Grace pointed out. “I put flyers everywhere, and not one person wants to show up?”

Min jerked his head up. “Really? On campus?”

“Uh, yeah?” Grace looked up at him, perplexed. “I even put a couple in the business hall, you didn’t see them?”

Sticking his lower lip out, he shook his head. “No, I haven’t seen any there.” Great, Grace finally gets a chance to restart doing the thing she loves, and it’s ruined because some jerk decided to take them down. It must have been some stuffy faculty member, like her economics professor she and Min argued with on every project to get an A.

Speaking of Min, he was crouched over his books, squinting at the fine print. A part of Grace felt bad for him. “You don’t have to be here, you know,” Grace said as she flipped herself to sit up. “I know you have work to do.”

“I mean, I feel like it looks bad if you’re club adviser isn’t at the first meeting,” he mumbled with a shrug, tapping his stylus against the corner of his synth with a demure smile. “Besides, a day where I don’t have to deal with a bunch of rowdy patrons at Dumpty’s is a day I’m happy.” An offhand way to express support, but Grace took it.

“Well, hopefully you’re ready to deal with a bunch of rowdy skaters,” Grace teased as she elbowed him playfully.

“Yeah? Okay,” Min chuckled. “Just be prepared if you don’t get what you-” The doors slammed open with a tinkling fanfare. 

“SUP CORPSE NUMBER ONE!” a voice echoed throughout the gym. Hearing before seeing the person, Grace’s eyes followed the sound to a small lady parading in, keys jingling loudly. They flew around on a purple carabiner loaded with charms, clipped onto the belt loop of a pair bedazzled, bell bottom jeans. “I BROUGHT CORPSE NUMBER TWO!”

“-Expect,” Min finished, eyes suddenly growing bags. He turned towards the entrance and weakly lifted a hand. “Hi, Kez.”

“You said this was a roller team? I didn’t know you liked skating,” Kez-presumably-said in a laid-back drawl as she bounded over. The puffball of her gray toque bobbed atop her hijab, gradient in pink, purple, and blue. Up close she was shorter than Grace anticipated, not even reaching five feet tall. Not ideal for a high contact sport-

Don’t make assumptions, Grace scolded herself mentally. If she wanted this team to work, she needed to keep an open mind.

“Oh, um, I’m not skating,” Min shook his head as the two of them climbed off the bleachers and walked over. “I’m just the club adviser.”

“Aw, damn, missing out on all the fun, Min?” Another voice came from behind Kez. Around the corner slunk in a guy with shoulder-length, wily brown hair and red aviator glasses. He adjusted the strap of a guitar case on his back to straighten up his brown leather jacket, heeled boots clicking loudly on the gym floor. He was taller than Kez, but still was a solid inch or two shorter than Grace, his lanky frame swaying casually.

“Ryan! You like skating?” Min asked, surprised. The synth nearly fell out of his hands as he fumbled to stuff it into his backpack. 

“Well, I figured in between making music, I could spend some time with my friends elsewhere,” he shrugged, then tilted past Min to look at Grace. “And you are…?”
“Oh, sorry! Kez, Ryan, this is Grace, she’s the leader of the roller skating team,” Min gestured to Grace. “Grace, these are my friends.”

“Hey, weren’t you the cheerleader captain? I used to see you at all the football games, did you like quit or something?” Kez asked loudly. Grace tensed up without meaning to. Min was standing behind her, wildly gesturing for Kez to drop it. “Oh, I mean…did you find other interests?” He groaned despondently, face palming.

“Well, not exactly…”

“Hey, I think I remember seeing you, too,” Ryan popped in. “Didn’t you hang out with that blond guy who works at the comic store?”

“Uhm-”

“And all those random kids?”

“Well-”

“Yeah, I think I saw you with that girl with leaves in her hair too! Hughes’ kid?”

“Alright, enough,” Min-Gi finally said sternly. “You don’t have to jump on her like that.”

“Min, it’s okay,” Grace patted him on the shoulder reassuringly. Recomposing herself, she directed her attention towards Ryan and Kez. “So, I used to be on the cheer leading squad, but, as time went on, I…” She trailed off, looking to Min for help. To her dismay, he just shrugged uselessly. “I decided to work on myself and find new interests since I’ve been doing it since high school, and I was hoping to do so with this club.” Min sighed with relief, giving her a thumbs up. “So! How did you find us?”

“Oh! Min said he was advising for this,” Ryan said. “He’s told us all about you.”

“Really? What did he say?” Grace cocked her head curiously.

“Just that you fucking shred on skates,” Kez said as she jumped up on Min-Gi’s shoulders, sharing a devil horns hand gesture with Ryan as the two stuck their tongues out at each other. Min rubbed at his temples, exasperated.

“Are you three friends?” Grace asked, hands on her hips. Min would occasionally bring up that he had people to meet with following their study sessions, but could be painfully vague regarding certain details of his personal life.

“Uh, yeah?” Ryan said as if it was obvious. “We grew up together. Well, not Kez, we both met her last year, but Min and I grew up in the same town.” He lingered off and looked at Min-Gi, who shamefully turned his head. Grace felt her spirit drop slightly, partly because Min didn’t tell her more about his life despite them being friends, and partly because she was embarrassed the only club attendees were his friends. Was this his way of showing she couldn’t and shouldn’t start a new team? No, he wasn’t that mean. Maybe he just felt bad for her; that almost felt worse. 

Perhaps it wasn’t meant to be.

“Um,” a small voice came from the doorway as it creaked open, and the four of them turned their heads towards the noise. A younger girl in a magenta puffer coat peeked her head in, her afro sticking out from behind the pink headband wrapping the top of her forehead. “Is this the meeting for the roller skating club?”

So the flyers did work! Grace straightened up and smiled brightly. “Yes! Come on in, have a seat! Everyone, have a seat.” While the attendees took their place on the bleachers, Min walked over and leaned into Grace’s ear.

“Remember, tell them-”

“From the get-go, I got it,” she finished his phrase, flashing him a cheeky wink. He raised his eyebrows and stood back, hands shoved in his jacket pockets.

Turning towards her audience, she clasped her hands together in front of her. “Alright, welcome to the roller skating club meeting. Before I give the spiel, I think we should go around with introductions. How about we say our name, year, major, and experience with skating?” The crowd of three silently nodded after looking to each other. “I’ll go first. My name is Grace, I’m a junior education major with a minor in dance, and I’ve been skating for about ten years.” Ryan and Kez muttered to one another, sounding impressed, and Mikayla widened her eyes with a grin ghosting her face. Grace turned towards Min. “You want to go next?”

Min jolted and pointed towards himself. “Me?”

“Yes, you,” Grace urged with a smile, piercing him with her eyes.

“Mhm, okay,” he muttered reluctantly, removing his hands from his pockets and patting his thighs. “Hey, I’m Min-Gi, as some of you know.” Kez and Ryan responded with some claps and whooping. He repressed the urge to roll his eyes before continuing. “Anyways, I’m the club adviser, not a skater. But um, I’m a junior and I major in finance, and I’ve never really skated before.”

“What about that birthday party when we were eleven?” Ryan heckled.

“Ryan!” Min hissed, keeping his lips tight.

“Okay, okay,” Ryan muttered as he held up his hands in defeat. He dropped them a second later. “I guess I’ll go next. My name’s Ryan, I’m uh…” He paused a moment, a brief flash of something Grace couldn’t identify crossing his face before he continued. “Transfer student that came last semester, undecided, and I also haven’t skated other than a handful of times. But I’m a super fast learner!” The last part sounded optimistic, too cheerful to tell if he was being genuine. Grace would probably find out soon enough.

“Oooh! My turn,” Kez said while clicking her tongue. “Sup, I’m Kez, on my 4th out of 5 years here, psych major, aaaand skated a couple years in high school.” She kicked her leg in the air, her keys jingling along as she pointed two finger guns to the last student.

“Hi everyone,” she started simply, intimidated by the energy. “My name is Mikayla, I’m a freshman graphic design major, and I’ve only skated a little bit but I’ve really wanted to get into it more. Which is why I’m here!” She looked around at everyone, and Ryan and Kez gave her an approving nod. Out of everyone there, she looked the most focused on the roller skating aspect.

Well, that was some consolation. 

Facing her new club members, she continued her speech. “So! It’s nice meeting all of you.  I’m really excited to be starting this club this year. What we do is…” Mid-sentence, her eyes trailed to the back door of the gym. It looked like there was a figure entering, but it quickly vanished and the door clicked shut. She shook her head. “So what the club does is…” Suddenly, she felt everyone’s eyes on her. What if she wasn’t ready for this, what if she wasn’t meant to be a leader, what if this is a waste of time, what if she is-

A firm hand on her shoulder snapped her out of her intrusive thoughts. Looking up, she saw Min-Gi’s tall frame. “So the club has a few ideas on what we could do, but we figured it would be better to ask you all first to see what you want out of it. Right, Grace?” He smiled down at her, not smugly, but in an attempt to encourage her. While he didn’t really understand why Grace loved roller derby so much, his point to stand by her meant more than any corny encouragement. 

She smiled back as a silent ‘thank you,’ and began again, “Right, so we have two options on what we want to do for this semester. The first option is we just meet at the roller rink once a week and skate around. Very casual, mostly relaxing, you get it.” It seemed that everyone’s interest stayed attentive, even though it was silent. “Now the second idea is a little more…intense, and requires us to do a bit more work.”

“How much work?” Kez asked, now sounding a bit tentative.

“Probably more like two nights a week, and maybe a couple weekends,” Grace answered.

“Oh jeez, I mostly work at night,” Ryan commented idly, gripping his guitar case’s strap.

“I also need time for my homework,” Mikayla added, but didn’t let it dismay her too much. “But maybe I can make it work! What is it?”

Taking a deep breath, Grace counted to three before she spoke. “Have of any of you heard of roller derby?”

“Option two,” Mikayla blurted.

“Option two, too!” Kez followed quickly behind.

“Option two, too…to?” Ryan asked himself, and then shook his head to raise his hands in the air. “Fuck it! Let’s kick ass!”

“Whoa! Whoa, I didn’t even explain the rules,” Grace chuckled, startled by the immediate enthusiasm.

“Uh, getting to race around in cute uniforms surrounded by jacked women?” Kez asked rhetorically. “You can count me in!”

“Well, it’s actually co-ed-”

“Fuck yeah! Co-ed!” Ryan cheered as well, high-fiving Kez.

“Wait, are you guys sure you’re prepared for something like this?” Grace began to backtrack, unsure of how to deal with this newfound eagerness. She didn’t even get a chance to thoroughly persuade them, and they already wanted to jump in the deep end? Should she even bother with her old recruitment tactics?

“Well, I might need a little help skating,” Mikayla admitted. “But what’s a better way to learn, right?”

Looking at the quieter girl, Grace smiled. Looking up at Min-Gi, he gave a shrug, knowing he would rather the former option but was vastly outnumbered. “Alright, derby it is!”

“Woo! We’re gonna rock!” Kez screeched as she hopped onto Ryan’s back, who then swiftly stumbled on top of Mikayla. Min-Gi darted over to the heap, helping them up as they groaned their Kez-inflicted downfall.

It seemed that Grace had her work cut out for her.

Chapter Text

“So, what are we thinking?” The second-in-command whispered as they turned away. They were meandering along the streets while the current Apex practice area was currently shut down after an animal infestation when they were playfully sprayed with a hose after unwittingly wandering onto private property. The owner and her ward seemed pretty lenient about it, as opposed to the second-in-command being grouchy about not taken very seriously. 

They would have left it alone, if not for the young girl’s curiosity about the captain’s skates. The captain did explain the Apex team, and how they trained young kids like her to win these tournaments. The girl was all geared up to go, except one issue: she wanted her guardian to come along.

The captain thought aloud. “Well, the younger one we might be able to bring up into the ranks, but the other one…” 

“Automatic null?” An unspoken rule was the leaders were to be the oldest in the Apex, since adults were less willing to listen to their rules and didn’t have the endurance to keep up with the sport.

“True, but they’re attached at the hip. Look,” The captain cocked her head at them as the little girl nuzzled against her guardian’s hand. “We’ll take both of them on, and once her guardian sees it’s really not for adults, she’ll back off.” 

The second-in-command looked at the guardian, who stood a solid three inches above him and was twice as muscular. As someone who was the main heavy hitter, he swallowed at her size. “Alright,” he grumbled.

“Okay!” the captain spun around and put on her little-kid voice. “Turns out the both of you can join and see what we do!”

The little girl gasped in joy! “Yes! I’m gonna meet more kids!” She danced victoriously and began tugging at the arm of her guardian, who hesitantly took her hand in agreement.

It seemed the captain had a new protegee.

~

“Thank you again, for letting us use the rink,” Grace said as she sets her skate bag down on the stained, space-patterned carpet. Skyline Skating Rink had definitely seen better days, the surreal murals of pink clouds and eyeballs peeling off the walls.; however, it was perfect for practice.

“Yeah, yeah, just don’t make a mess,” Blake, the roller derby attendant, grumbled. He pushed his frosted tips out of his face as he slouched behind his usual place at the skate rental cove. Despite lacking any grace of a dancer, he got stuck in a dance history elective with Grace, where she helped him with his homework in return for borrowing the rink space during off hours. Luckily everyone in the club was able to find two afternoons to allot for practice, right before it needed to open to the public.

“How would we even make a mess? We don’t even have any food?” Grace inquired as she laced up the worn-in yet carefully toothbrush-cleaned leather of her skates.

“You see some shit when you’ve worked here as long as I have,” Blake sulked and failed to elaborate any further.

“Well, if you wanna see different shit, you can always join our team,” Grace offered.

Blake chuckled without a smile. “Pay me and then we’ll talk.” 

Both of them knew derby wasn’t a paying sport. No matter; Grace was here to get some early practice in before everyone else arrived.

She gazed down at the glossy tile floor of the rink, and it seemed to stare back at her. She hadn’t been able to skate since the incident, not freely anyway. With her parent’s controlling tendencies, her efforts to improve her grades, and her time spent at work and volunteering, she hardly had the time. It was barely a year ago, yet it felt like a familiar stranger.

She placed one skate on the rink, and it glided like a deep, easy breath.

Letting the skates do all the work, she glided a little more, moving one foot in front of the other. Soon she was gaining speed, taking each lap faster and faster. Soon she was doing crossovers with the occasional spin. The AC of the building blew like wind in her hair, and soon enough she was an eagle on wheels, faster than sound, on fire like a-

“What’s up, G-licious?!” A shrill greeting followed by the clanking of metal charms snapped Grace back into reality. If she were any less experienced, she would’ve tripped on her skates from the intrusion, but luckily she was able to slow down with ease to the sound at the entrance. 

Kez practically floated in even though she was wearing chunky boots, her galaxy-patterned bodysuit a stark contrast from underneath her gray t-shirt and gym shorts. A reusable grocery bag was nearly tipping her over, her keys clipped to one of the straps. Despite the warm September weather, the fuzzy toque remained atop her hijab. 

“G-licious?” Grace sounded out, bewildered at the nickname.

“Yeah, like delicious?” Kez answered as if it was obvious. “It’s a cool nickname.”

“Oh. Is it?” She managed to keep the sarcasm in her tone to a minimum.

“Grace! Whew!” the door clattered open as Min-Gi stumbled in with Ryan and Mikayla not too far behind him. The latter two were wearing exercise clothes, with Ryan in a band t-shirt and bright green gym shorts and Mikayla wearing a sunflower shirt and pink sweatpants. Min was in his typical slacks and windbreaker, but was drenched in sweat as opposed to the other two. “I-I tried finding the rink-but I missed the turn-and I-didn’t wanna be late-WHEW I need to sit,” he wheezed, plopping on the bench to catch his breath.

“Min, you’re right on time,” Grace raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms.

“Don’t worry about him,” Ryan shrugged off his guitar case. “He’s just being a keener.” Ryan stuck his tongue out at Min playfully, which he weakly returned in response.

“Uh, is he on the team, too?” Mikayla hesitated as she pointed towards the rental counter.

“Oh, that’s Blake! He’s letting us borrow the rink for practice,” Grace said. “Everyone say hi.”

“Hi, Blake,” everyone said in unison. Blake weakly raised a hand to wave, not bothering to look up from his lap.

Grace shrugged at the cheeky interaction and trilled her lips briskly. “Well, now that we’re all here, why don’t you all lace up and I’ll go over some basics?”

“Uh yeah! I just,” Mikayla hunched her shoulders, face flushing. “I don’t have skates.”

“Yeah, me neither,” Ryan admitted while rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “Sorry.”

Grace kept her sigh as short and quiet as possible. She gestured for them to go to the skate rental counter and turned towards it. “Blake, can I borrow three pairs of skates, please?”

“Oh, just two!” Kez hollered as she held up a pair of silver skates adorned with a jumping unicorn, rainbow stripes, and light-up wheels. “I still have mine from when I used to skate.”

“Oh,” Grace said, eying the child-like skates. “That’s…”

“Really cool!” Mikayla exclaimed as she took the skates from the counter and rushed over. “How long have you had them?”

“Technically since middle school, but I mostly used them when I was in high school.”

“And they didn’t shrink?” Ryan asked as he kicked his boots off.

“Nah, pros of being short, y’know?” Kez winked, and Mikayla giggled. An indescribable feeling hit Grace in the gut, but she couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

“Well, okay,” Grace rode towards the ledge of the rink wall, facing the crowd on the benches. “I wanna ask a few things while you’re all getting ready. So what does anyone know about roller derby?”

“Ooh!” Mikayla waved her hand excitedly. “Two teams on roller skates have to, I guess race each other?” She put a hand on her chin, thinking about her answer.
“No, it’s like, you beat each other up on skates until the last person standing wins!” Ryan countered while making a boxing gesture.

“I saw the movie ‘Whip It’, like, twice,” Kez drawled, rolling her wrist in a circle.

“The-the movie?” Grace blinked a few times.

“Yeah? It’s like, the roller derby movie,” Kez explained as if it she said the sky was blue. “You’ve seen it, haven’t you?”

A pause filled the air before Grace picked back up. “Anyways, let’s go over the basic rules. So typically you have two teams of five; one jammer and four blockers on each team. The jammer scores a point with every member of the opposing team they pass, and the blockers have to make way for their own jammers to pass and keep the other team behind. Team with the most points wins.”

“So it’s just one big race?” Mikayla asked.

“Well, it’s divided into jams. Each one lasts 2 minutes, and we get 30 seconds between each jam to regroup and strategize.”

“So it’s like…football?” Ryan scrunched his nose as if it would make it more digestible.

“Yeah, but like, if they let you wear makeup and punch people in the face,” Kez murmured as she leaned over. Min must have heard, because he slammed his head face first into his textbook.

“Well, not exactly,” Grace coughed. “How about we get a feel for the skates and do some laps first, sound good?” 

“Hell yeah, let’s do this!” Kez hopped to her feet, raising her arms in the air.

“Kez, don’t get too nuts, it’s just practice,” Min cautioned her.

“Min, Min, Min listen to me,” Kez whispered as she leaned into Min’s face. “We got this.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek, and took off in her colorful skates.

Grace scrunched an eyebrow upwards, perplexed. “Are you two…?”

“What? Oh, god no! Kez is just like that with all her friends,” Min explained. He then leaned to whisper. “She has the coldest hands, but the warmest kisses. Wild, right?”

Grace inhaled politely. “Sure, let’s go with that.” She got ready to follow the other skaters already in the rink.

“Grace?”

She turned around to look at him. “Yeah?”

“Be nice, okay?”

Grace scoffed. “I’m nice.”

“I know, it’s just…” Min looked to either side to make sure the others were out of earshot, then lowered his voice as he crouched over. “You can get a little competitive.”

Grace grasped a hand to her chest. “Me? Competitive?”

“Yes, you! You wouldn’t stop talking about the girl in your ballet class that kept ‘showing you up’ by landing the difficult jumps for weeks,” he explained. “They’re not pros. Just take it easy, okay?”

“Alright, fine.” Rolling her eyes, she caught up with the rest of the skaters. Ryan was skate-walking with his arms sticking out, while Mikayla clung to the wall. “Hey, you two need help?”

“Heyyy, guys!” Kez called out as she finished her whole lap. She was weaving back and forth, gliding without breaking a sweat.
Grace nearly jumped. “Wha-how did you-”

“You’re so fast!” Mikayla exclaimed with a huge smile on her face. 

“Yeah, you just gotta step and glide!” Kez said as she seamlessly turned around. She said she only skated a few years in high school, how was she so natural at this?
Mikayla stepped away from the wall, and began to push on her skates the same way Kez did. “You’re right, it’s working!”

“Kez, you’re like, really good at this!” Ryan whooped as he evened out his skate-waddle to a more natural gait.

“Yeah, well, just be cognizant of what you’re doing!” Grace called out as they went ahead of her. “You need focus when we compete in the real thing!” The crowd didn’t seem to hear her, getting into a natural rhythm of skating and laughing together. Grace eventually caught up, watching as they breezily improved their technique by watching Kez’s example. The twisting in Grace’s gut continued to weave around, as if her intestines were tying themselves in knots.

Ten minutes passed, and she finally decided to take the reigns again. “Okay, now that we have a feel for the skates, maybe lets try racing each other. Line up.” 

Grace could feel her heart pounding in her ears as everyone stood next to one another. “Ready, set, go!”

Taking off, Grace took the lead, using her height to push her forward. She initially easily took the lead, skating with the ease she had earlier. But soon enough, a jingling set of keys scratched at her ears.

“Sup,” Kez gloated as she reached Grace in earshot. “You’re like, super fast.”

“Thanks,” Grace responded through gritted teeth.

“I’m keeping up pretty well with you, which must mean I’m fast, too.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Oh, look! We already made a lap.” Kez started to drift in front of Grace, and all she could see were those stupid technicolored wheels. Grace heaved as she pushed herself to catch up with Kez, who wasn’t even skating in a straight line.

“Kez, I think you’re being a little aimless in your skating,” Grace suggested.

“Why? I’m doing pretty well!” She argued.

“Well, you don’t wanna go too close to the middle of the rink.”

“Relax, Grace-a-licious, I’m doing great!” God, how does she find the most grating nicknames! Grace felt her lungs burn as she battled to keep up with Kez, eventually neck and neck with her. This went on for several laps, and she began to lose track of time. The friction of the skates nearly made tinder out of the rink floor, the heat making Grace sweat. Kez was gaining on her, beating the captain of her own team, and acted like it was nothing. Who did she think she was, coming to practice to show up Grace at her own game? Grace couldn’t let that happen, how could the captain not be the best?

Subtly, Grace slipped her foot next to Kez’s skate and watched her tumble to the ground. 

“Ow! Fuck!” Kez yelped as she fell on her knee.

“See?” Grace started in a honeyed voice. “This is what I meant by focus.”

“Kez!” Ryan shouted, rushing to Kez’s side.

“Are you okay?” Mikayla echoed, gliding nearby.

“Do you need anything?” Min-Gi even joined, leaping off the bleachers.

Kez sat up, cradling her knee. “Just a little tumble. Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Are you sure?” Min asked.

“I’m fine, really,” Kez assured him as she got to her feet, demonstrating her lack of injury by spinning in a circle. She went up to Grace and held out her hand. “Good race, Grace. Hehe, it rhymed.”

Grace was almost taken aback. “Oh! Yeah, good race,” she said as she shook Kez’s hand. “Hope that fall wasn’t too much.”

Kez snorted and held up a non-existent bicep. “In you’re dreams! I’m tough as metal!”

“Ahem!” the entire team turned their heads towards the rental cove. Blake was staring at Grace unamused, twirling his finger in a circle.

“Alright, practice is over! See you soon,” Grace waved to Mikayla, Ryan, and Kez.

“Whew, I’m wiped!” Kez exclaimed as she plopped on the bench. “Ryan, are you gonna be up for your gig tonight?”

“Gotta be,” Ryan shrugged. He then perked up. “Oh! You guys wanna come?”

“I can’t tonight, my friends are picking me up to study later,” Mikayla lamented as she put her skates in her bag. A buzz came from her pocket, and she reached in to look at her phone. “Oh! Looks like they’re here. See you guys next time!” Mikayla headed out the door, with Ryan and Kez following not too far behind.

“Min, you coming with?” Ryan asked.

“I’ll be out in a minute,” Min replied as he put his things away in his backpack.

“Alright, see ya, Grace!” Ryan said as he placed his skates back on the counter with Blake.

“See ya, Speed Gracer!” Kez shouted with a wink.

“Bye,” Grace waved back weakly, stare lingering at the doors even after they clicked shut behind Ryan and Kez.

“Hey Grace?”

“Yeah?” She said while turning to face Min.

“You wanna tell me what that was?” Min seethed, hands on his hips.

Grace turned away from him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Kez fell when she was next to you in the race.”

“Are you saying I tripped her?”

“I’m not saying that,” Min said, walking over with his thumbs hooked on his belt loops. “But I am saying you were the only one that didn’t check to see if she was hurt.”

“She said she was fine.”

“But what if she wasn’t?”

“Well, she said she was so she is,” Grace’s words became laced with more frustration, slamming her skates into her bag. “She can skate super well despite not doing it since high school, so why would she need any help since she’s apparently already a pro?”

“Already a pro?” Min repeated the words back, and then scoffed bitterly. “You know what? I think you’re jealous.”

“What?” Grace turned sharply towards him. “Why would I be jealous of Kez?”

“Because she’s faster than you,” Min said without a moment’s hesitation. “She’s took a tiny lead on you. And I think you know it, too.”

“It has nothing to do with that,” she stammered, suddenly crossing her arms defensively. “Besides, even if she is faster, she has no focus and skates aimlessly.”

“She’s just having fun,” he defended. “Why are you being so hard on her?”

“It’s just she’s,” Grace trailed off and twirled her wrist around. “You know, not like us.”

“No, I actually don’t, Grace,” Min shot back, raising his eyebrows suspiciously. “What are you trying to say?

”
“I’m just saying I want what’s best for the team and I don’t know if that’s Kez.”

“Kez is part of the team, I think you better start acting like it,” Min said indignantly as he  slung his backpack over his shoulder. “I know she’s not the easiest to get along with, but she’s still my friend. And I don’t want her getting hurt because she’s not the star player you imagined.” He only spared looking at her one more time before walking out the door.

“Min.”

“Figure it out, Grace.”

“Min!” He didn’t turn around as he shut the door, leaving Grace alone in the rink.

~

“What do you mean we can’t enter? This is our rink, we reserved this space!” the captain argued with a bald man in a trim blue suit. Since the Apex’s rink was currently out of service, the captain and second-in-command had to take their protegee and her guardian elsewhere to demonstrate the sport. But this bald man was their only roadblock, for he was the head of the current event their rink had been robbed for: figure skating.

“Well, if you want to use our space so badly, perhaps you could ask with a little decorum,” the man spat. “Maybe show us you can keep up with the professionals.”

“Okay!”

The captain and second-in-command whipped their heads around to protegee, smiling and staring upwards cheerily. Her guardian nodded slowly.

“ What?!” The two leaders shouted in unison.

“Splendid!” The man clapped his hands together in faux delight. “I’ll let you four practice a dance number, and once you have proven yourselves you may use the rink.”

The captain sputtered. “But-”

“Ta-ta for now, my lovelies!” the man turned around to attend to extravagantly dressed figure skaters.

“This is a joke!” the second-in-command griped. “This is what happens when we give other skaters lee-way with our space.”

The captain began to pace, hand on chin. “You take the high ground, I’ll distract the people here-”

“What about the dance?” the protegee asked simply, expression unmoving.

The captain wrinkled her nose, quickly putting on a fake smile. “You are so sweet!” she cooed sarcastically while pinching the protegee’s cheeks. “But we do things a little differently around here.”

“It is wise to do what we know,” the older guardian mused, uneasy frown playing at her lips.

“Thank you for the input, but-”

“If we don’t do the dance, we can’t practice here,” the protegee suddenly shouted. The captain jerked backward at the volume. “And if we can’t practice, I can’t be in the Apex to meet more kids!” Hair fell into the protegee’s face, hiding her embarrassment. “I can be special and brave,” she mumbled, twisting her shirt.. “I promise.”

An ache took over the captain’s chest, something familiar, something compassionate, and something full of loss she couldn’t quite describe.

The captain pushed aside the young girl’s hair and sighed with a conceding smile. “Alright. Let’s try it.”

~

Min didn’t text Grace for the next two days. She figured he was still annoyed about the other day, so she just let him cool down. It wasn’t like she was trying to be mean to Kez; she just wanted everyone to succeed. And derby teams don’t win with flighty jammers too small to take a hit. Min wasn’t in the sport, so it’s not like he’d get it.

The door opened before Grace could even raise her fist to knock. She blinked, surprised. “Blake! You’re here already?”

“Yeah, one of you’re teammates came early,” Blake groaned, eyes sagging. “Knocked for like, ten minutes solid.”

“Teammate?” Grace raised an eyebrow as she walked in. Min had class before practice on Thursdays, so it was doubtful he would have made it early. All of Ryan’s talk about gigs showed he was unlikely to be able to put in the extra time, but it could be possible he stopped by. Maybe Mikayla came early, but she always needed a ride to take her back and forth. It helped that she was so enthusiastic, so maybe Grace could give her some pointers.

And then she heard the jingling of keys. 

Alone in the rink, Kez sped along in laps. She whizzed around, not going perfectly straight but less in a zig-zag pattern than the other day, still nailing expert speed. There was something in her eyes that Grace never noticed before: determination.

“Kez?”

“Oh, hi Grace!” Kez startled for a moment, but recovered quickly as she glided over to the wall. “I was hoping to catch you before practice.”

"Oh, really?” Grace’s chest seized up, a strange feeling of deja vu making itself at home in there. What if Kez was confronting her about her behavior yesterday?

“Listen, this is gonna sound weird, but-”

“I know what you’re gonna say.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Grace said as she rubbed her elbow. “And I’m really sorry. I was just trying to-”

“Sorry for what?” Kez asked quizzically. “I’m the one that didn’t take your advice.”

“What?”

“I wanted to get some time in so I could skate better in the real games, like you said.” Suddenly, Grace felt like the biggest jerk in the world. Kez was never trying to show up Grace, she was just trying to impress her. And Grace ignored her for what?

“How’s it going you two?” the slight echo of a voice disturbed the discussion, and both skaters turned their heads. Min-Gi was waving as Ryan and Mikayla followed not too far behind. While Ryan and Mikayla were casually chatting and laughing, Min’s brow was creased the same way whenever Grace suggested they took a shortcut on their homework. “Is everything okay?”

“Uh, yeah! I was just talking to Kez,” Grace answered. A breath seemed to leave Kez as if the previous conversation was forgotten. Well, almost. “Why don’t you all lace up and come here?” Flashing Kez a reassuring smile, she headed towards the counter where Blake kicked his feet up, scrolling through his phone. 
“Hey, can you do me a favor?”

Blake lolled his head over irritably. “Are you really gonna make me work on my time off?”

“Don’t be so cranky, I just need to borrow something,” Grace rolled her eyes. Leaning over to whisper to him, he nodded to her after a moment. Reaching under the counter, he handed her a few items she stuck into her fanny pack. “Thanks again.” She skated towards the middle of the rink, where her players were stretching.

Grace clasped her hands together and began to speak. “So, typically practices for derby are scrimmages so we can practice the actual game. Like I said the other day, roller derby requires five players, but we only have four since someone doesn’t wanna play!” The last sentence crescendo-ed as she leaned pointedly towards the bleachers.

“I’m not a sports guy, I keep telling you,” Min called back without looking up from his writing.

“Anyways, so I was originally thinking of doing what we did yesterday, given we don’t have a lot of players. But then I realized that derby takes a lot of teamwork. We’re gonna have to work together, and we can’t do that if we’re all competing for ourselves. So here’s what I figured.” She unzipped her fanny pack and pulled out 4 cloth items. Jerseys were held out for her teammates, 2 yellow and 2 gray. “We’ll do a relay in teams of two.” The gray jerseys were tossed at Kez and Ryan, while Mikayla received a yellow one. “Me and Mikayla versus Ryan and Kez. One person makes a lap and high fives their teammate to do the next lap. Whoever can make the most laps wins. Min, can you count for me, please?”

Min jolted, putting his books down before giving a thumbs up.

“Okay, let’s line up.” Grace and Kez stood next to each other, while Mikayla and Ryan were not too far behind. “Ready, set, go!”

She and Kez took off, wheels flying. Instead of focusing on Kez, Grace turned her attention to the murals on the walls since they were nothing to be envious of. It turned out she skated better, and the two of them tied the first lap as Ryan and Mikayla took off at the same time. 

“I’ll tell you,” Kez breathed. “This derby shit is a lot harder than it looks.”

“Yeah, it is,” Grace agreed without much bite. Min stared at them while bouncing his leg, and she simply nodded at him. These laps passed without much change, the degrees of how ahead each mini team was slightly fluctuating each time.

On this current lap, Mikayla came in about three seconds ahead of Ryan and passed it off to Grace. She was now skating on her own, skating to reach that floating feeling from the first day before practice, trying to fly like a-

All of a sudden, Grace heard a loud shrieking. “What the-?”

“GET DAZZLED, FUCKERS!” Kez screeched as she went flying past Grace, holding a hand out to high five Ryan as he carried into the next lap.

“Ahhh! Come on, Grace!” Mikayla cried out.

“I gotchu!” Grace swooped in for a high five, and clapped as Mikayla took off. “Get him, Mikayla!”

“Come on Ry-Guy!” Kez called out, and the other two skaters felt the competitive energy too. They huffed and puffed as they barreled through, passing the clap to their counterparts. Kez once again took off with the bloodcurdling screech.

“Why are you screaming?” Grace asked, amplifying her voice with hands cupped around her mouth.

“It helps my adrenaline get going!” Kez shouted. “You should try it!”

“I don’t know if that’s my thing!”

“Come on, G-Squad!”

“G-Squad? I’m one person!”

“Don’t think! Just try!” Kez continued to yell.

“Ahhh?” Grace tried to copy Kez’s vocalization. As she saw she was gaining some speed, her volume increased. “AHHH!”

“AHH!” Kez screamed back with pure ecstasy. Soon Ryan and Mikayla were joining the chorus with screams of their own, despite not skating. As their chaos harmonized, Grace’s yells devolved into pitchy laughs. The minute she began to laugh she forgot about being the best, about beating Kez, and could only get caught up in one thought.

Skating is really fucking fun.

“Ayo!” the calling of Blake’s voice interrupted the euphoria of the session, pausing the skates on the rink to a standstill. “Rink opens in fifteen minutes, time to pack up.”

“What?” Grace braked on her skates. “Why didn’t you say so earlier?”

“I tried but you were all fucking yelling!” Blake threw his hands in the air and muttered. “It’s for your grades, it’s for your grades…”

Gulping in some breaths to slow down, Grace turned to Min. “Who won?”

“Silver by a little bit,” Min said. Kez and Ryan immediately cheered, Ryan picking up Kez and spinning in a circle. Mikayla clapped for them graciously. And Grace couldn’t help but feel the tightness in her chest replaced with warmth.

“Alright, lets head out,” Grace announced, holding up her hand for a high five. “Good job everyone, I’ll see you next time. Good job, good job!” First Mikayla, then Ryan, and then Kez came up to high five her. 

“Hey so, was I okay today?” Kez asked, slightly ducking her head.

“Okay? Kez you did awesome today!” Grace exclaimed. “Where did you learn how to skate like that?”

“Like I said, I used to skate in high school. I even tried to sneak it into my job.”

“Really? What did you do?”

“Bellhop!” Kez said, tapping the puffball on her hat for emphasis.

“At a hotel?”Grace asked, and Kez nodded proudly. She chuckled in disbelief. “No way! They let you skate?”

“Well, used too. Management said I was too much of a ‘speed demon’,” she said in air quotes. 

“Fuck management!” Ryan called out. “This is why I don’t do retail.”

“Sounds like they have a stick up their butts,” Grace agreed. “You really learned all that skating on your own?”

“Well, yeah. Plus I may have given ‘Whip It,’ a third rewatch the other night,” Kez shrugged. “We could maybe do a movie night, if you wanted to see it?”

Grace thought a moment before a cattish grin crossed her face. “How about I do you one better?”

~

“Alright, that was sufficient,” the bald man sighed. “You may use this space as you please.”

“Yeah! We did it!” the protegee cheered!

“You did it! We could have never done it without you,” the captain knelt down. Reaching into her fanny pack, she unscrewed a tube of lipstick. “I think you’re just about ready.”

“I’m in the Apex?” the protegee asked excitedly.

“Uh-huh!”

“Woo-hoo!” She giggled and ran to her guardian. “She’s next, she’s next!”

The leaders glanced at each other, and the second-in-command shrugged in fake apology. “Sorry, the marks are for kids only.”

The guardian grumbled, but didn’t argue further.

“Now how about we get some slushies to celebrate?” the captain praised. The young girl began to run ahead.

“Say,” the second-in-command smirked down at her. “You wanna teach me that song you were singing earlier?”

“Yeah!” the protegee skipped to the concessions counter with him. “It goes ‘don’t be a worry baby, no need to hurry baby when you’re with me’….”

As the captain lingered behind, she caught a glimpse of the guardian. Her head was tilted down in a frown, yet showed no trace of anger. The Apex excluded her, like they excluded anyone her age.

And, for what may have been the first time, the captain couldn’t help but feel bad about it.

~

“YEAH KICK THEIR ASSES!” Kez whooped as she leaned over the rail towards the teams that were skating. The air was thick with sweat and shouting, the sound of skates thundering in the rink.

“This is so cool! How do you find derby matches?” Mikayla asked, swirling around her can of sprite.

“Well, I found stuff in the junior leagues while trying to find tournament stuff,” Grace explained with a wave of her hand. “This is still tryouts for the major competition, which is what we’re gonna be playing.” Two particularly burly players got into a tussle, one throwing the other off their shoulder and straight into the wall.

“So,” Ryan said, rocking on his heels. “Do people get like….injured a lot playing this?”

“Uh, yeah a decent amount. There’s some medical responders but each team brings their own first aid kit,” Grace turned towards Ryan. “Why?”

“Oh! No reason, it’s cool,” he said absently, eyes fixed on a jammer spitting out some blood. “Cool, cool, cool.”

“Is this another thing we have to worry about in our budget?” Min asked. “We already need a lot of equipment.”

“Oh! I’m actually going to buy skates this weekend,” Mikayla jumped. “My friend needs to get some stuff for swim team, so we’re going to a sports store.”

“That’s awesome!” Grace said. “What about you, Ryan?”

“Oh! I’ll, figure it out,” Ryan said.

“You know,” Min started. “You could always ask-”

“Nope! Don’t need to ask anyone,” Ryan interrupted, grimacing.

“Are you sure? You could save some money-”

“Definitely! Definitely have money!”

“Well as long as you get the skates one way or another, we can pool in on the rest of the gear,” Grace pointed out, starting to count on her fingers. “Helmets, knee and elbow pads, mouth guards, and probably a basic first aid kit.”

“What about uniforms?” Mikayla asked.

“I wouldn’t worry too much until after tryouts,” Grace shrugged. “For that we can just have everyone wear the same color.”

“Oooh! What about, magenta?” Kez suggested, wiggling her fingers.

“Maybe we can pair it with another color? I’m learning about color theory in class, and…” Mikayla paused mid-suggestion, smacking herself upside the head. “AH! I forgot I have an 8 AM class tomorrow!”

“It’s okay, we can give you a ride,” Min eased her. “I have class tomorrow too, so I probably shouldn’t stay out too late.”

“Fuck, that reminds me, I have a gig at the retirement home at 9,” Ryan muttered, running a hand through his hair.

“Jeez.” Grace’s eyes went downcast. Min drove her over, so that meant if he left she would have to go with him, too. “If I knew you guys had stuff to do tomorrow, I wouldn’t have made you come out…”

“I’m wide open!” Kez pointed out. “If you wanna stay I can give you a ride home.”

Grace perked up. “You’d do that?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” Kez’s eyes sparkled with genuine curiosity, head cocked to the side.

The pause lingered, and Grace finally closed her gaping mouth. “Okay, I guess you three can head out without us.”

“Thanks so much for taking us out, sorry I had to cut it short,” Mikayla apologized as she flipped her coat back on her shoulders. “I’ll see you next practice!”

“Can’t wait to see your skates!” Grace replied.

Ryan pointed a finger gun at her. “I know you mentioned having a bake sale, I can make brownies if you want?”

Grace smiled. “Sounds perfect.”

“Mr. Brownie Expert over here,” Min teased as he nudged Ryan in the shoulder, who playfully rolled his eyes before exhaling. “You two start heading to the car, I’ll catch up in a second.” Ryan and Mikayla nodded, and they waved before taking off, chattering to each other excitedly. “You two get home safe, okay?”

“Not a problem, Min-OOH SHE GOT KNOCKED DOWN!” Kez jumped at the sound of a thud, pressing a quick kiss to Min’s cheek before rushing to see what the audience was cheering at. Grace watched her fondly.

“Hey Grace?”

Grace turned her head back to Min-Gi. “Yeah?”

“Thanks,” Min smiled. “I know Kez can be a lot at first but-”

“Don’t even mention it,” Grace waved a hand. “Turns out there’s a lot more to her than I thought.”

“So…are you admitting I’m right?”

“Don’t push it.”

“Okay, okay,” Min put up his hands in defeat, knowing better than to test Grace with his ego. “Have a good night.”

“I’ll see you around!” Grace gave him a quick hug and waved at him before he quickly shuffled into the crowd back towards his friends. Turning towards the game, she found Kez was leaning over the rail, feet kicking in the air. 

“How’s it going?” Grace asked, joining her on her right.

“Pretty intense, score’s 40-50 right now. Oooh! Look at her, she’s cute!” Kez pointed at a jammer with dyed red hair, and Grace shrugged noncommittally. “What, you more into the guys out there?”

“Eh, not really.”

“Well, what’s your type?”

“Mmmm,” Grace put a finger on her chin with a drawn out hum. “No.”

Kez’s eyebrows lifted to the top of her forehead in realization. “Oooohhhh.”

“What about you?”

“Mmmm…yes?” Kez shrugged coyly with an awkward grin, and the two of them burst into giggles.

“So I guess next someone hits on me,” Grace said between laughs. “I’ll just send them your way.”

“Hell yeah! Now we’re talking teamwork, Grace-in-the-face!” Kez hollered while offering Grace a high five; she took it while rolling her eyes. When the hysteria settled down, Kez eagerly cheered on the team with the allegedly cute jammer.

“Hey, I’m really glad you like this,” Grace said with a sigh while looking at Kez, still fixated on the skaters. “I got a little worried that everyone wouldn’t be as into it once we played.”

“Are you kidding? It’s so much better once you actually do it,” Kez commented, twirling around away from the match.

Grace turned and leaned her elbows on the edge of the rail. “What made you wanna skate, anyway?”

“Well, I really liked skating when I was in high school, but I haven’t been able to keep up with it because of work and school and junk, but when Min told me about this club I was super excited to do something like that again, so,” Kez faltered off, and her voice got soft. “I wanted to skate like you did when I saw you before practice.”

Grace straightened up suddenly. “You…saw me?”

“Ugh, I knew I shouldn’t have said anything! I just made it weird!” Kez groaned as she lightly banged the top of her head.

“No! No, I’m kinda flattered actually,” Grace said, rubbing the back of her neck. Maybe she should finish the comment she made at practice the other time. “Listen, Kez, I-”

“KEZ! What the hell are you doing here?” a drunken voice bellowed amongst the noise. Kez seemed to visibly cringe, but covered it up immediately.

“Hey, guys,” she tried with her casual intonation, but her brief micro expression betrayed her. Grace turned towards the noise to find the issue.

Five frat-looking guys slunk over, swaying red solo cups that matched their beer stenched clothes. A tall guy in a stained yellow t-shirt slurred his words, “Oooh, is this the mysterious Morgan you’ve talked so much about?”

“Uh, actually this is my friend Grace,” Kez’s voice hitched as she stepped a little behind Grace. “We’re on a roller derby team together.”

“Hey!” A shorter guy with a unibrow jumped and waved. Grace returned the gesture. The thin line of her lips pressed together was the closest she could force a smile at them.

“Oh, is this an actual team like how you found an actual band for that party?” a short guy with long green bangs laughed rudely, with the remaining crew joining in.

“Uh, yeah! We’ve been totally practicing!” Kez used part of her hijab to wipe the sweat off her brow.

“You gonna play in the tournament?” a guy covered in tattoos commented. 

“Just signed up for tryouts, actually,” Grace said, raising her eyebrow.

“Ohoho, you’re not gonna chicken out, are you?” Yellow shirt teased. A big guy in cargo shorts bawked, and they all chortled at the remark. 

“No, we won’t. Anyways, we should probably get going, right Kez?” Grace began to pull at Kez’s shoulder, hoping she would pick up on the hint.

“Nah, Spiceman’s got a point,” Green hair egged on as he patted Yellow shirt-or Spiceman-on the shoulder. “Kez always bails before things get interesting.”

“Um, I think Grace is right,” Kez asserted shakily, gripping to Grace’s arm. “We really need to head out for um, team stuff.”

“Nah, Kez, I wanna see what you can do,” Spiceman crouched directly into her face. He was clearly breathing on her, as Kez scrunched her nose away from him. “Come on, hit me. I’ll make it nice and easy for you.”

“I’d rather not-”

“I won’t even flinch.”

“Please stop.”

“Go for it, Kez!” Soon, the other boys starting joining in with the jeering. Kez began to shrink more and more, as if hiding her chin in her hijab would make her disappear. Even though she was short, her presence was always larger than life. This was the first time she ever seemed small.

And Grace knew the latter was the worst feeling in the world. “Hey, Spiceman?” she asked sweetly. Spiceman finally got out of Kez’s face, intrigued by Grace speaking up. “You see, punching actually is against derby rules. If you wanna make physical contact, it has to be a little different.”

“Ohhh,” he drawled out, stupid smirk showing his yellowed teeth. “Mind if you show me, little lady?”

Grace flashed her teeth in a dangerous imitation of a smile. “Gladly.” And in a flash, she grabbed Spiceman by th shoulders and kneed him in the gut. After several sharp jabs, she elbowed him in the face and used his lack of balance to push him on the floor for good measure. He rolled on his back and groaned in pain.

“Woah, shit!” Tattoo guy startled as the rest of the gang oof-ed. “Take it easy!”

“You wanna be next?” Grace warned, and it was enough to get him to shut up and shuffle back. “If any of you bothers my teammate like that again, you’ll answer to me. Kez, we’re leaving.” Before they could react, she took Kez by the hand and briskly walked out the rink. 

“Wha-how did you do that?” Kez squawked as she was tugged along.

“Years of practice,” Grace said without missing a beat. She continued to march until they exited the building.

“Yeah but like, he was so much taller than you, and he was so in your face and intimidating, like,” Kez continued to fervently ramble. “How do you follow through on it?”

“Well, when you’re out on the rink you gotta push through your fear,” Grace shrugged. “Besides, I’m not really scared of much-AH!”

She jumped as a large Coupris Kineema abruptly squealed its brakes on the wet asphalt. The two of them barely got out of the way as the tall car, height increased by cartoonishly massive tires, pulled over and rolled its window down. It revealed a man with mutton chops fiddling with the already too loud radio on the passenger side, while a slighter man in round glasses tapped the steering wheel. He abruptly turned the stereo off while keeping his composed demeanor. Grace would have dismissed it for a regular conceited college student who barely passed driver’s ed, if not for the campus police logo on the car.

“Sorry about that, are you two alright?” the glasses guy asked, leaning out the window.

“Uh, yeah,” Grace said, smoothing her shirt cautiously. “Didn’t mean to get in the way.”

“Yeah, why were you in such a rush?” Kez asked, and Grace was mentally cursing her for stalling them.

“We received a noise complaint down on Tracy Ave,” he explained.

“Yeah, we got plenty of noise of our own, don’t need any more!” mutton chops added while switching the station. Harsh synth noises crackled in the air before glasses coolly turned it off.

“Say, that rink is very loud,” glasses pointed out. “You didn’t happen to see any underage drinking in there, did you?”

Grace and Kez side-eyed each other before straightening up.

“Nope,” Grace lied.

“Perfectly chill and legal,” Kez added.

“Ah, you two are good kids,” mutton chops admired. “Unlike these wack punks running around with spray paint.”

“Huh?” Grace tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

“Recently there’s been vandalism all over campus,” mutton chops commented.

“Say, would either of you know anything about this logo?” glasses asked, handing them a photograph. It was the back alley of the science, only the brick was caked in spray paint. Various symbols adorned the walls, but the most prevalent was a red ‘A’ with a squiggle line in the center.

“Ah, Nope!” Kez popped the ‘p’ sound. “What about you, Gracious?”

The symbol was the exact same that had been painted outside the performing arts building. And the freshman dorms. The only difference with this symbol was Grace never saw it at that particular wall before; it was painted on the back wall outside of the gym where the cheer leading team practiced.

Tracing the letter almost felt like muscle memory.

“Grace?”

“Never seen it before in my life.” She said with a straight face.

“Alright, sorry to bother you. Drive home safe.” And while swatting his passenger’s hand away from the radio dial, glasses guy took off in his Kineema to probably be a buzzkill to some other group of college kids.

“Whew! Good thing that wasn’t officer Morpho, she’s a real narc,” Kez sighed breezily. She nudged Grace in the shoulder. “Hey, you good?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” Grace said, still slightly absent. “Let’s get going.”

Grace thanked whatever being was out there that Kez was oblivious. “Fine by me, I don’t wanna be around when the party gets busted,” Kez shrugged as she slunk towards the parking lot, hands resting behind her head.  “Thank you again, by the way.”

“Don’t mention it,” Grace smiled softly. “Those guys were dicks anyway.”

“Min and Ryan say the same thing.”

“Then why do you bother talking with them?”

“Eh, cuz they’re around,” Kez shrugged as she opened the door to her tiny tin can of a car. “Honestly if I didn’t meet Ryan and Min I probably would still be hanging out with them. It’s just easier sometimes, you know?”

Grace’s fingers lingered to the zipper of her fanny pack, opening it to feel around the lipstick tube inside. “I guess I do.” Noticing Kez’s silence, she applied a smile and patted her on the shoulder. “Well, now you have the rest of our team, too.”

Kez smiled back. “Yeah, I do.” She started the engine of her car and shifted gears. “You still gotta teach me how you did that thing back there.”

Grace’s smile was no longer forced, curving into a grin indicating a light bulb went off. “Then I think I know what we’re doing next practice.”

Chapter Text

Before the captain was a captain of anything, she was a lost kid who missed her train stop. Getting on wasn’t an issue, as her parents ensured she was on the correct train for her boarding school. No, it was after she dozed off and the conductor shook her awake, informing her she was at the last stop. Groggily, she left the train to find absolutely no school and no children. Just dry wasteland decorated with dead grass surrounded her, the only sign of civilization a dark, dilapidated building.

Rushing to the building, she attempted to peek through the slats boarding up the windows to see if anyone was in there. Raucous noise hammered her eardrums, startling her to push a little too hard on the boards and fall flat in the middle of the floor.

Bright lights blinded her, and she attempted to squint to see where the thunderous noise was coming from. Unfortunately, large skates were pummeling towards her, too fast for her to process. She screamed, squeezing her eyes shut to brace herself.

But no impact came. All she heard was a thump in front of her. Turning her head cautiously, she found those skates tackled to the ground by another skater. Scrambling away and tucking herself underneath the bleachers, she got a closer look at the situation.

The other skater rose to full height, only standing for a split second before violently smashing into another helmeted player. They continued this pattern, knocking down one player after another as if they were bowling pins. Each movement screamed with rage, although no true emotion could be seen by the skater; their face was obscured by a black motorcycle helmet that adorned a red wave across the center of their face. This display of power and vitriol entranced the young girl, eyes fixed as they flexed their brawny muscles until the last opposing skater dropped to the ground.

The crowd roared, but the girl only focused her hearing on the announcer who raised the skater’s hand victoriously in the air and called out through the bullhorn:
“Everyone give it up for the Cruel Conductor!”

~

“Okay, we’re signed up for the derby tryouts in November. That gives us about two months to get ready, so we may need to speed some of our training along,” Grace explained, and then pointed to her small white board where ‘blocking’ was written in bold, capital letters. “Blocking is important for two reasons: it helps move your jammer ahead, and keep the other team behind. Now from watching the team tryouts last night, this season’s players will not hold back. So for today’s exercise, I want all of you to think of something that makes you really angry. Something that makes you so angry, you just wanna smack someone. And bring that out in the rink.” 

Her teammates immediately attempted to embody it physically. Kez tried to growl and held her hands like claws, Mikayla clenched her fists and held her breath as if it would spawn a super-powered transformation, and Ryan…

Well, Ryan just sat there with his eyebrows furrowed, staring at a spot in the distance. His steely gaze was a stark contrast to his normally jovial exterior.

“Okay, let’s do this!” Grace put down her marker and white board with a clack.

“Oh! Grace, I meant to show you,” Mikayla waved and reached into her backpack, pulling out a pair of roller skates. They were purple and teal, with a velcro strap sealing the top laces.

“Ooh, look at you!” Grace complimented as her fingers brushed against the leather.

“Yeah, looking zippy, Kayla-Bayla,” Kez clicked her tongue with a wink, and Mikayla cackled a little.

“What about you Ryan? Have any luck getting skates?” Grace turned her attention to the other skater, who was opening his guitar case.

“I did actually,” Ryan said as he humbly held up his skates from where he opened his case. The leather on them was a worn shade of deep red, the stitching style akin to that of an older ice skate. “Hopefully they’re not too old.”

“Hey, if they fit and the wheels spin, they’re perfect,” Grace shrugged. She knew how hard it could be to get equipment as a beginner, so she wasn’t very picky.

“Aren’t you glad you asked your sister to use her old skates?” Min said to Ryan smugly.

Ryan ducked his head away as he began to tie his skates. “Yeah, suuuper glad,” the sarcasm in his voice didn’t drip, it downpoured.

And Min detected none of it. “It’s like I know what I’m talking about sometimes.”

“You sure do,” Ryan huffed as he finished tying his skates, pushing himself off the bench without another word. Grace looked between him and Min, raising an eyebrow at the latter. Min shrugged, so she decided to let it go.

She positioned herself five feet in front of her teammates on the rink floor. “Alright, each of you try to get past me, I’m gonna push back so don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty, got it?”

“You got it, boss!” Kez gave a fake salute. Grace couldn’t help but smile at the geeky gesture, flicking her hand to copy the signal. Charging headfirst, Kez let out a signature battle cry. This time, however, Grace was prepared. She leaned down to push Kez, grappling her in a shoulder hold. A few seconds later, Kez was pushed back, cartoonishly spinning in a circle. 

“You have the right idea, but you push through me, not just at me, okay?” Kez gave a thumbs up, and skated to the back of the line.

“Mikayla, you’re up!” Mikayla did something similar, holding her arms out this time. The two of them struggled with each other for a few more seconds, but she ended up flying backwards as well. “You’re a little hesitant, which gives you too much give. Try to power through next time.” Mikayla nodded, and followed Kez in the loop.

A single, slightly moody skater remained.

“Ryan, show me what you got!” Ryan got into position, taking a deep breath with his eyes closed. They opened with a newfound fire, and he charged towards Grace at full force. Gaining speed, he nearly shouted as he hurtled towards her. She held an open palm up vertically.

Ryan’s chest smacked into it, knocking him flat on his back as if he hit a concrete wall.

“Ryan!” Min stood up, voice cracking with a shout. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Ryan groaned, sitting up and glaring at Grace. “Well played.”

Grace scoffed. “Barely.” She held out a hand to him, pulling him to his feet. “You’re looking aggressive, but I need you to actually be aggressive when you block. You got an ex?”

“Three, actually,” he sighed.

“Perfect! Think about them when you slam into me.” He nodded wearily, and went back in line. “Let’s do this while skating, gain some momentum and we’ll start back to Kez.” Grace decided to skate backwards to keep an eye on the techniques of her teammates.

The order continued. Kez finagled around Grace using her small stature. Mikayla was able to push Grace off her a little more easily.

Ryan somehow ate shit even worse, hesitating before Grace knocked him down again. 

 “Dude! What happened that time?” Grace asked. 

“Well, I did think of my exes,” Ryan explained as he pushed himself up. “But then I realized I had no reason to be mad at them.”

“What, why?”

“Well, my first one fizzled out after a month, my second one got mad at me for getting both of us kicked out of a house party we played, and my third I had to give my van for accidentally breaking her TV.”

Grace blinked at him slowly. “Okayyy…well, maybe think of some justified anger, hm?”

“Okay.” He huffed noncommittally and took off in the loop. 

“Be careful!” Min called out, and Ryan waved a hand. Grace noted the slight irritation in his expression, and got hit with an idea.

The next lap came, and it was the same. Kez found a way to pass. Mikayla found a way to pass. Ryan fell on his face.

“Come on, Ryan,” Grace said in her voice she typically reserved for younger kids. “They don’t call it a contact sport for nothing.” He glowered up at her, but didn’t say anything as he pushed himself back on his feet.

Grace smiled to herself, reveling in the fact that her plan was working. After the next lap, she pushed Ryan down again.

And again.

And again and again and again.

And each time Ryan fell down, he got a little more worked up, and Grace grated on him more viscerally. “You really can’t do any better?” “Aw, that was a cute nudge.” “I didn’t know you liked the ground so much.”

This seemed to get his gears going; sooner or later his much needed aggression would pounce out. The plan was working perfectly.

The next lap Grace used her elbow to shove him off his feet and onto the floor as he tried to pass her on the side. He stumbled up, skating to catch up with her. “Come on, you’re not even trying.”

“I am trying, okay?” Ryan panted, frustrated. Sweat made his hair stick to his forehead, and he was panting trying to keep up.

“Well, I need you to try harder,” Grace explained with a shove. “You just need to shove me, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out.”

That was the final straw. Ryan let out a visceral growl and shoved Grace back into the wall, putting his body into it. She bumped into it with a thud.

“Come on,” she taunted wryly. “Is that the best you can do?!”

“Would you just get off my back, Min?!” He bellowed, whirling around to make his point. The wheels rolling against the wood of the rink went silent, the dull whir of the flickering incandescent light bulbs the only evidence of noise. 

Paper shuffled against the bleachers. “What?” Min was now fully attentive to the situation, diverting attention from his homework to the activity in the rink.

Ryan’s eyes widened as he realized what he just said. “I-I meant-” His head swiveled back and forth between Grace and Min before ducking away. “I need to go.” Without another word, he grabbed his guitar case and went out the door, not bothering to remove his skates. The remaining occupants stared at Grace, discomfort radiating in the room. 

Grace looked at Kez and Mikayla and sighed. “Alright, practice is done for today.” The other two reluctantly nodded and skated off. Grace glided towards Min-Gi, who looked equally as confused. “Is everything okay?”

“I dunno, you were the one skating with him,” Min mumbled out.

“Well he said your name,” Grace pointed out, and Min frowned. “Did something happen between you guys?”

“Not really.”

“What about when he tricked you into getting on that train to go to New York and you guys got lost until I found you,” Kez interjected.

“Wha-Kez!” Min squeaked.

“Or the time you couldn’t agree on how to fix the thermostat?”

“It was one time!”

“Or when you called him stupid for trying to get into that party a different way than you and when you realized he was right you didn’t even apologize?”

“Kez!”

“What? I’m just saying,” Kez hauled her skates over her shoulder and turned towards Mikayla. “Am I still driving you home?”

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Mikayla answered, standing up. She waved awkwardly at Grace and Min. “I guess I’ll be seeing you guys.”

“Yeah, see you next time,” Grace said quietly, waiting for the two of them to leave before speaking to Min again. “Did all that really happen?”

Min’s eyebrows spiked up defensively. “It’s…more complicated than that.”

“Is it?” Grace asked, and only got a grumble for an answer. Her voice inflected more sensitively. “Is this the friend you mentioned having trouble with?”

He dropped his head, rubbing his chin. “We weren’t talking for a while since high school because he wanted to tour and I…had uni to focus on. And then last semester, he comes back out of nowhere and tries to get me to board this train for his New York show, but we got lost. Luckily Kez was there and helped us get back, but then there was this thing and…” He lingered off, swallowing hard. “And we took some space for a while, but it’s frustrating! We can’t agree on anything because he makes his problems my problems!”

“Does he?” she asked, keeping her tone neutral.

“Yes! It’s not like I want to quit school for some blind road trip for a dream that would never even work out,” he spat, slumping his shoulders as if weighed with stones. The longer he paused, the more his face indicated that he was trying to convince himself of that. “And even after everything he did, I’m trying to look out for him, why doesn’t he get that?”

“Well, maybe that’s not what he needs,” Grace suggested as she sat down on the bench next to him.

Min sputtered, “What-why wouldn’t it be?!”

“Would you like it if I told you how to do your finance classes?”

“You’ve helped me on my homework before.”

“What about how to play your mini-synth?” Min’s lips flapped closed immediately. “Min, I know you mean well, and you’re a really caring person. But you’re not always nice about it.” She poked him in the forehead. 

He sighed dejectedly, staring at his shoes. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Fine.” Neither of them said another word on the ride back to campus.

~

Boarding school was hell. Her stimuli for loathing spiked, from the amount of rules and expectations to the whispers she heard behind her back. She never took it lying down, though, making snide comments in return or even destroying some of the other students’ belongings. Kindness meant nothing in the face of survival.

And she wasn’t the only one who got picked on. One day, she was sneaking out of the cafeteria to get some air when she heard some noise by the dumpsters. Peering over the boxes, she saw a young boy getting cornered by a bunch of people in pristine blazers. He quivered in his black socks and sandals as he got pushed to the ground and he scrambled away. 

“Hello! Samantha?! Help!” He was wailing as a loud chittering overtook his senses. The group of kids immediately bailed, leaving him alone with a shadow rustling about the garbage. Four clawed legs scratched the pavement and reared back before it lunged. 

She dove in and knocked it sideways, grabbing the boy’s hand as she ran around to a back door. The door slammed shut as the two wheezed in the janitor’s closet, coming down from the adrenaline.

“You,” the boy started. “You saved me."

“Oh,” she rubbed the back of her neck, realizing what she had just done. She smiled proudly to herself. “Yeah, I did.”

He started to sniffle. “Samantha left me!” He began wiping his eyes, crying uncontrollably. Her eyes darted from him to  the door, worried someone would hear them. She didn’t know who this Samantha was, but it sounded like she wasn’t much better than her parents.

“Hey, this place sucks, but you’re fine now,” she tried, putting a hand on his shoulder and a reassuring smile. He stared at her for a moment, dumbfounded out of his tears.

“How did you do that?” was all he managed to ask.

“Oh?” she was surprised at the question, because frankly she wasn’t even fully sure of the answer. “I’m like, really good at this.” She flashed at him confidently, and he finally returned her smile.

~

Birds are chatty, but never in a bad way. And that’s what Grace liked about them so much. She could never say they weren’t mean, as they did bite and scratch and squawk rudely at times, but it was never out of a deep hatred in their souls. They were just birds. It was afternoons like this where Grace would sit in the aviation center by herself, her daily feedings and cleanings as therapeutic to her as it was for the animals.  

Three solid knocks hit the door. “Come in!” Grace called, putting a parrot back on its perch. Visitors weren’t uncommon, but it was still a blue moon event when they appeared without calling first. “How can I help-”

She stopped mid sentence to see Ryan standing by the door, awkwardly shuffling his boots on the floor. His hands were clasped behind him, shaggy hair hanging in his face. “I just wanted to know if we could talk,” he smiled sheepishly. “Min said you would be here?”

“Uh, yeah,” Grace answered, and then gestured to one of the chairs. “Take a seat if you want.”

“Uh, nah, I’m okay,” he said while putting up a hand.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” He paused, craning his head towards the glass ceiling. “So uh, who do these birds belong to?”

“Just the sanctuary. Some are up for adoption, actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s cool.”

“Mhm.” Chirps and squawks echoed in the room rather than human voices as the skaters stared at each other. “You don’t like me, do you?”

“What? No!” Ryan denied, head snapping forward. “Why wouldn’t I like you?”

“Well, judging by the way you stormed out the other day…” Biting his lower lip, Ryan rubbed his chin and turned away. Tapping her fingers against the table, she sighed. “About what you said…is everything okay between you and Min?”

Flipping his head to the side, his eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

“Ryan,” Grace warned, tone icy. “Don’t bullshit me.”

“Like it’s your business?”

“It is when you bring it up at practice like that,” she retorted. It was enough to get Ryan to deflate, the standoffish attitude fizzling out. A dove landed on Grace's shoulder; her favorite one. Her name was Lily, and she seemed to listen to Grace despite her blank looks. One such look she gave was as if encouraging Grace to open a dialogue. “Look, I won’t judge you if you guys are having problems, but we can’t work as a team if we’re jumping down each other’s throats.” Her voice softened, “So tell me, what happened?”

Ryan sucked in a breath, clasping his hands together until his knuckles turned white. He leaned down on the table. “Min made me ask my sister to use her skates.”

He didn’t elaborate. “You don’t like your sister?” Grace coaxed.

“What? No, she’s fine.”

“Then why does that bother you?”

“Because…I left home to do music, and I wanted to go back when I really made it. Not that I’m doing bad, I just haven’t made it big-big yet, you know?” His fingers tapped apprehensively together. It reminded her of Min’s concerns of his parents worrying about his grades. She wondered if the two of them grew up in similar environments that drew them close when they were kids.

“Does your family put pressure on you to succeed?” Grace guessed. 

“You have to expect things to put pressure on someone. They don’t expect anything out of me,” Ryan scoffed grimly. “And Min doesn’t get that when you ask favors and have nothing else to show, it’s really fucking humiliating. So when you kept egging me on at practice, it’s just,” he put his face in both of his hands. “You sounded a lot like him.”

Grace tilted her head along with the dove, who was bowing it for scratches. “How do you mean?”

“He just…he acts like he knows more than me,” He looked up, agitated. “It’s like he gets it in his head that since I don’t go to a big fancy uni-”

“Ryan, you are a student.” Ryan stared at her quizzically. “You go to school here?”

“What? Oh! Yeah, yeah,” he muttered with a forgetful intonation. “But um…the point is, just because I’m not some model student and don’t want a boring office job like he does, he acts like I’m doing everything wrong. And it just makes me feel, feel-”

“Stupid?” Grace offered, using her thumb and forefinger to snuggle Lily.

“Yeah, stupid. And that’s what it felt like at practice,” Ryan finished, exhaling. “I know you’ve been doing this longer than me, but I have a bit of an idea of what I’m doing, you know.”

Grace sighed. “The whole reason I was pestering you was because I was trying to help you get your anger out so you would be more physical.” 

“Yeah, well, it just felt like you were singling me out,” Ryan said sarcastically, but the bite was shallow.

“I…I didn’t mean...” Lily flew off of her shoulder and onto the perch, staring at her with curious eyes. The prodding method usually worked great on her old team, but she needed to remind herself this wasn’t her old team. “I guess I did. I’m sorry.”

Ryan raised his eyebrows, and softly chuckled, “I actually came to apologize.”

“Really? What for?”

“Storming out of practice the other day. And um,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “About what I said, I don’t wanna make things weird between you and Min.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Are you two not talking anymore?”

“What, no! Min’s my best friend, it’s just…” Ryan lingered, twirling around a stray feather that floated off on the counter. “Something happened last semester, and he wanted space for a little bit. We’ve been gradually talking more recently, but now he’s doing this arrogant bullshit again with me when he’s completely nice with you!” He flailed his arms out towards her for emphasis.

Grace scoffed dryly to herself and walked over, thumbs hooking over the strap of her fanny pack. “Listen, I know you think I might just be saying this to make you feel better, but,” she leaned over to nudge his shoulder. “Min can be a bit condescending towards me, too.”

Ryan perked up, the lines on his face contorting as if he was hit with lightning. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah! He’s my student mentor, so he always feels like he needs to give me advice.”

“Even if you don’t need it?”

“Especially if I don’t need it!” Grace agreed, and the two of them laughed. 

“God, and he’s such an only child about it,” Ryan bemoaned. “He doesn’t get the pain of trying to stand out between four siblings.”

“Well, I do kinda get it,” Grace conceded. “He feels like his parents want him to be the best, and I’ve been there, you know?”

Ryan gave her a crooked smile. “What, do they do detailed inspections of your report cards?”

“No, they’d have to actually pay attention to me to do that.” The dark joke slipped naturally off her tongue, and it took her a split second to realize who she was talking to when she saw Ryan frown. “Sorry! That was out of pocket, I didn’t mean to-”

“Hey! It’s okay,” Ryan quickly reassured her. “I mean, I’ve been there too, you know?” He gave her a small smile and she nodded slightly in silent understanding. “It’s kinda nice talking about my family with someone that’s not Min believe it or not.”

“Yeah, well,” Grace patted her bird buddy on the top of the head. “He’s still good to talk to, even if he has a massive ego.”

“Yeah but…how does it not drive you crazy?” Ryan asked, drumming the table with his hands.

“I stop him the minute he acts like that,” Grace said plainly. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m super grateful to have him as a friend. But the minute he gets high and mighty with me?” She made a guttural noise while slicing her hand in the air against her throat. “Just because he’s my friend doesn’t mean he gets to bully me around.” 

The other part, which she really didn’t feel cozy enough with Ryan to say, was that some of his bad tendencies were reminiscent of her own. The know-it-all it behavior set something off in her, like a lighter to a deja vu bomb. I get to say what I do with my life, so stop making it about you. I’m not gonna be friends with a control freak. I know you’re better than that, so knock it off. 

You’re better than me, so act like it.

Grace trilled her lips, thinking back to practice the other day. “You gotta stand up to him if he acts that way, Ryan.”

“That’s the problem, though,” Ryan continued. “I kept imagining that I was being mad at Min at practice, but when I slammed you into the wall and said…you know,” Grace nodded at him that she understood, and he closed his eyes to avert her gaze. “It felt like I hurt him. And the weird part was-it felt good.”  His fingernails began to anxiously scratch on the table, Lily walking over and mimicking the action with her beak. “It was only for a second, but I just couldn’t shake it. I don’t want to hurt Min-Gi, but I thought about it, and it feels just as bad.” His hands dug into his hair, and he laughed humorlessly. “God, you must think I’m crazy.”

“No, not at all!” Grace reached over, leaning over on the table next to him. “Hey, sometimes I want to be mean to people, too.”

“Really? But you’re always so friendly, you never seem angry.”

“But here’s my secret.” She leaned over to Ryan’s ear, as if sharing covert information. “I am angry so, so much,” Grace whispered coyly. “I’m angry at my parents, the teacher who gave me a bad grade for no reason, the guy that beeped at me in the crosswalk on the way to the sanctuary today, the people I know, the people I used to know-” She cut herself off before she could say ‘myself.’ “And I use all that anger, and take it out in the rink. And it’s gone! I just needed a place to put it.”

“Yeah, but…don’t you feel bad?” Ryan hesitated. “Like you’re being awful to them in your head?”

“I mean sometimes, it depends,” Grace shrugged, shaking his shoulder lightly. “But if I don’t deal with my anger, it just gets worse and then it hurts people when I don’t want it to.” It was true, though her emotions weren’t explosive. Her unmanaged anger took the form of a slow poison, slowly infecting anything good about her or the people around her. It was resentment towards people who got ahead while she stayed behind, it was pretending that others’ feelings didn’t matter in comparison to her own gratification, it was singling out kids who she thought were weak because she was insecure of her strength. 

And worst of all, it was her incessant need for attention, taking over like a famine that she could never seem to satisfy no matter how many people paid attention to her. This neglected anger left her with nothing but a hollow sadness for a long, long time.

“Do you have all kinds of birds here?” Ryan blurted suddenly. It occurred to Grace that he was poking his finger out towards the dove.

“Uh, yeah I guess so, “Grace shrugged. A parrot was now raising its wings at Lily, a display of territorial behavior, before the dove flew off. “Why, are you looking to adopt?”

“Nah, nah I don’t really have the means,” Ryan waved off, walking in a circle to observe the birds. The side of his mouth twitched. “You got chickens?”

“Uhh, just one.” The dove returned to her perch began to preen herself. “Do you like chickens?”

“I mean, I was just wondering since it’s a bird center, and you have all types of birds flying around, and chickens are pretty cool I guess-”

“Ryan, do you want to see the chicken or not?”

“Yes please oh my god that would make my day,” Ryan eventually rambled out, giving Grace pleading eyes before he giggled shyly. Rolling her eyes with a smile, she motioned for Ryan to follow her. 

“Come here.” Kneeling down to a small coop, she opened the door and reached in. “Hey baby, are you awake?” A few disgruntled chirps escaped the enclosure, and within a minute Grace scooped out a moderately sized chicken in her arms.

Ryan’s eyes immediately shone, jaw dropping and hands flapping. “Oh my god she’s fucking precious!” 

“Do you want to pet her?” Grace asked as she rose to her feet. Ryan’s arms hung to his sides as he clearly tried to restrain his excitement. Not waiting for an answer, she took his hand and gently pressed it to the hen’s dark red feathers. 

“This is the best day of my life,” Ryan mused in awe, slowly moving his hand to stroke the chicken. “What’s her name?”

“Aubrey Chicken Little, one of our volunteers named her,” Grace explained. “She was found malnourished on the side of the road, so we’ve been taking care of her until someone else can take her in.” She brought the chicken to her face and made kissy noises. “And now she’s super chubby!”

“Hey! Don’t be mean,” Ryan gasped, and then leaned over to the chicken to smooch at her as well. “Don’t listen to her, you’re perfect just the way you are, Aubrey.” He chuckled to himself as he ran his fingers over her feathers. “You know, Min and I had a band called Chicken-”

“Choice Judy?” Grace finished.

Ryan nearly jumped. “Wha-yes! How did you know? I thought Min didn’t really talk about me.”

“He did, he just didn’t mention your name,” she shrugged. “But he did tell me about this friend he knew since he was a kid, and how they would play music together, and…” She paused, mind wandering to a past friend of her own. “And that he wished he spent more time with him.”

Ryan blinked without saying anything. It was hard to decipher what he was thinking; he was not quite shocked at the revelation but he didn’t shrug it away either.
“I won’t tell you what to do, but I think you two have more in common than you think,” Grace suggested, plopping Aubrey on the table before pushing the seed dispenser into her hand. “Maybe try to talk to him before next practice?”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Ryan finally says, eyes fixed on the chicken. “Do you think she likes music?”

“You wanna find out?”

Ryan cracked a smile. “I’d be willing to try.” He crouched down to open his guitar case, finally taking a seat to pluck at the strings for his newly found friend.

~

The boy was struggling with a marshmallow in his mouth, mumbling something before spitting the treat out. “I said it!” he proclaimed proudly.

“No you didn’t!” the girl argued. The two were in their usual spot, a disused building between the boys and girls’ dormitories. They were currently hiding under a makeshift tent sharing a bag of marshmallows.

“You just don’t wanna admit I won!”

“Whatever makes you feel better!” she giggled, and he joined in shortly before casting his eyes downward. “What is it?”

“Nothing, just,” he sighed. “I feel like nobody takes us seriously. Like we’re easy to leave out of things. I just-it makes me angry!” He grunted, clenching his fists in emphasis. She frowned, knowing exactly what he meant. The two stuck together while the rest of the student body either shot them nasty looks or turned the other way. Other than him, her solace was all the nights she snuck out to that one abandoned building by the train station, stealing a pair of old skates from the counter to mimic the vivacious methods of her heroes.

“Then maybe we should get angry!” the captain said righteously. “Someone pushes us, we push them back!”

“Yeah,” the second-in-command said quietly.

“We deserve respect! We deserve it because we’re strong!” She rose to her feet and raised a fist to the air.

“Yeah!” he answered more emphatically.

“And we are the Apex!”

“Yeah!” The two of them were now standing together, fists raised in defiance. Their eyes gleamed at each other, and suddenly the captain was hit with an idea.

“Come here,” the captain beckoned, shuffling through the bag she packed. Rustling through it, she finally found a red lipstick tube she took from her roommate after she unwisely made fun of the girl’s hair. “We’ll show everyone who we are.” 

“What’s that?” the boy asked, gesturing to the red wave she drew on the bridge of her nose. 

“Something I saw from someone really strong,” the girl answered as she reached over to do the same to her friend. This would mean that they were going to be the toughest kids in school, strong enough to be treated like royalty. After all, the Cruel Conductor was a force to be reckoned with, striking fear into the hearts of anyone that dared step foot into the same rink as them. They were an idol that controlled the rink on pure power, channeling their strength with anger.

Well, at least the captain assumed it was anger. What else could it be?

~

“You guys better not be screaming like you did two days ago,” Blake complained as he hopped up on the skate rental counter. For some reason he always watched Grace and the rest of the team while they skated, even though he could just as easily go in the back.

“Aren’t you always blasting music into your headphones?” Kez commented while gesturing to her own ears after finishing her laces.

“It’s not me, it’s just that you’re gonna scare-” Blake abruptly stopped talking, pressing his lips into a thin line.

“Scare who?” Grace asked. 

He exhaled out his nose and looked side to side before facing Grace again. “If I show you something will you promise not to tell?”

Grace and Kez turned to each other before returning their gazes towards him. “Uh, sure?”

Looking around conspiratorially, Blake reached down into the pocket of his cargo pants and cupped something before pulling it out. One would have thought he was sharing government secrets with the precision and care he took revealing his secret.

In his hands, he held a small, baby rat with white fur.

Grace squinted, “Is that…?”

“SHHH!” Blake hushed before she could get a word out. He flinched at his own overreaction, coddling the animal in his hands. “Sorry, but, yes, this is my rat, Turnip.”

“Turnip?” Grace brought a finger to her chin. “What kind of name is Turnip?”

“My mom named him okay? She only let me have him if she got to pick the name,” he hissed, a flush of embarrassment crossing his face.

“So like,” Kez lolled as she brought her nose to Turnip’s face, who sniffed in turn. “Is he a service animal?”

“Legally speaking, no,” Blake explained while holding up a finger. “But! He helps me get through class and long shifts and being around you motherfuckers.” The rat began to squirm, and Blake began cooing at him again to relax him.

“Why do you care so much anyway?” Grace shrugged. “He’ll probably be fine.”

Blake shot her an offended look. “He is sensitive! He’s my friend and I’d protect him with my life.” The sentence rang a bell in Grace’s mind, and she turned back towards the benches. Ryan and Min were talking, or moreover Ryan was talking while Min was nodding his head. After a few moments, they smiled awkwardly at each other, and Ryan got up from the bench and headed towards the rest of the team, tying a white, pink, and yellow bandana across his head.

“So,” Grace said as he rolled towards her. “How’s it going?”

“Good, I think,” Ryan answered, eyes still lingering towards Min. “I think we’re okay.”

“Good,” Grace smiled. “You ready to start again?”

A determined smile crossed his face. “Oh you bet!”

“Alright, line em up!” Grace hollered to the whole rink. “I know Mikayla’s not here yet, but we’ll start and let her catch up later.”

The exercise was that both Kez and Ryan were going to try to get through Grace at the same time each lap. As the two lined up, he looked at Min, who remained quiet but gave an encouraging glance. Grace noted this, and had a good feeling about practice.

And then they actually started.

Grace still didn’t hold back, and Ryan fumbled backwards. She wasn’t as coarse with him the first time, checking in before continuing the laps. Then he did it again.

And again.

And again and again and again.

It was just Ryan, too. Kez did have some difficulty since she didn’t have much pure muscle, but at least managed creative ways to get past Grace. Ryan, on the other hand, skated headfirst into a figurative brick wall and got confused when he kept not going through said wall. It was perplexing and frustrating; if he resolved the Min-Gi dispute, then why was he still so distracted? He was somehow playing even worse, not even trying to push through her.

It was about the fifth fall that she finally broke. “Dude! What is up with you today?” Grace questioned with an air of annoyance. “You’re playing worse than usual.”

“Ohhh, that’s super helpful,” Ryan sneered with an eye roll.

“And I bet you’re gonna sarcasm the other team into losing?” Grace put her hands on her hips.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Grace!” Ryan complained, exasperated. “No matter what I try, I can’t do it!”

“But don’t you wanna stop being pushed around?”

“What’s the point?” Ryan nearly collapsed on himself. He turned to leave the rink. “I’m probably just dead weight anyway.”

Suddenly it hit Grace how low of an opinion Ryan had of himself. A motivational speech lingered on the tip of Grace’s tongue, but there was a feeling he’d lash out if she tried it.

“Would you let Min get pushed around like that?” Grace asked pointedly.

Ryan stopped moving, hunching his shoulders. “What?”

“I said,” she repeated slowly. “Would you let someone treat Min like that?” Ryan nearly swallowed his own tongue with his sputtering, hopelessly looking between Grace and Min. Her eyes were fixed on Blake swaddling Turnip, switching a light bulb on.

“What? Did someone say my name?” Min jerked his head up, only half paying attention.

Grace turned her head to the bench. “Min, cover your ears, please?” Rolling his eyes, he complied. 

“Should we also cover our ears?” Kez shouted from across the rink.

“Yeah, I don’t want Turnip to get startled,” Blake added.

Sighing, Grace flapped her hands to her sides. “Sure why not. Kez, you mind taking a break?” The two of them shrugged and listened. Once Kez was out of earshot, she turned back to Ryan. “Well, would you?”

“What? No, of course not!” Ryan answered defensively.

“Well, what would you do if he was?” Confuddled, he weakly pushed Grace. “Come on, he’s your best friend since birth and this is how you stand up for him? I wanna hurt Min-Gi, what do you do?”

“Just tell you to stop-” He tried to push again and she skated backwards away from him, sending him careening over. “Hey, I was talking!”

“Less talking, more skating!” She called back as she encircled Ryan. She snatched the bandana from the top of his head. 

“Hey! What are you doing?” Ryan growled, trying to snatch it back. “Give it back!”

“This bandana is Min-Gi, and you gotta save him from me. What are you gonna do about it?” Grace smirked. Ryan stared dumbfounded at Grace, and then his brow furrowed as he pushed off his skates towards her. He continued to try and jam into her, but kept getting knocked down with basic elbow jabs. Yet he got up every time. Finally, Ryan was able to slide in front of Grace. Cleverly, she let him think he was gaining distance on her and floated backwards to sting him in the back, sending him tumbling forward.

“Ryan!” Min cried out in worry, hands still covering his ears. Ryan flopped against the wall ledge, panting heavily.

“Had enough?” Grace mocked. 

Ryan huffed a couple breaths, eyes on fire behind his newly freed bangs. Then, a smirk followed by a dry laugh barked out. “You fucking wish!” He flashed a wink at Min before pushing himself off his feet and raced towards Grace.

Grace grinned wickedly back and then turned to skate at full speed. It nearly distracted her from Ryan lunging at her to grapple her before she ducked out of the way.

“Derby rules say you can’t do that!” Grace called haughtily.

Ryan and Grace were now caught in a dance, weaving around each other like a braid of intensity. “Derby rules also say don’t pick on the people who don’t skate!” Ryan argued as he finally side swiped Grace. Experience kept her from going into the ground, so she skated low and tried to swipe him back.

“Oooh wow, I’m gonna draw a mustache on Min’s face,” Grace fake-taunted as she waved the bandana back and forth.

“Leave him alone!” Ryan shouted, fists clenched at his sides.

“Or what?” Grace leered with narrow eyes, slowly yet dramatically reaching for where she kept her marker in her fanny pack.

“I said,” Ryan gritted his teeth and launched himself forward, grabbing Grace by the arm. “Leave, him, ALONE!” He used his momentum to yank her backwards, sending her flying across the rink with a yelp. The cloth fell out of her grasp, fluttering in the air before Ryan snatched it and held it out towards Min-Gi. “Min, are you okay?”

Min propped his elbows on his lap, bewildered eyes staring at Ryan as a flush ran all the way up to his cheeks. “WHAT?” He realized his hands still stifled his hearing, and lowered them. “Sorry, what?”

Ryan’s eyes popped when he realized why Grace had Min cover his ears. “Oh, I just meant….was that okay? As in my skating?”

“Oh! It was, cool I guess. I wouldn’t know, but um, you seem pretty skilled,” Min muttered, gripping tightly to his books. “You looked pretty intense out there, how’d you do it?”

Ryan wrung the fabric in his hands. “Umm…”

A door clicked open, tearing away the tension. “Hey everyone!” Mikayla politely greeted. “Sorry I’m late, it’s just my one friend with a car was running late out of swim practice and I couldn’t find the bus schedule and-Grace?”

Kez gasped. “Grace!”

Everyone turned to where Grace was, back slumped against the rink wall on the far opposite side of the room, nearly crouched to the ground. She straightened herself up, and rolled over to where Ryan was. “You told me off,” she said in a frighteningly even voice.

Ryan cringed at himself. “I did.”

“You flung me halfway across the rink.”

“I did.” He squeezed his eyes tight, waiting to get scolded.

Grace put a hand on his shoulder. “Good job!”

Ryan opened his eyes suspiciously. “Wait, what?”

“I said good job! You played like a real derby player, and that slingshot maneuver?” Grace pointed to where she was flung before. “That’s an actual derby technique.”

 “What is?” Mikayla asked, shuffling over in confusion.

Grace raised a knowing eyebrow. “Why don’t we show her, Ryan?” Ryan eyed her cautiously, waiting for another trap. When she didn’t and started skating forward with her arms out, he shrugged and followed. He repeated the maneuver, his speed and adrenaline about the same but with a less angry grip on her arm this time. Now prepared for the fling, Grace was able to brake, but still traveled in a large arc across the rink.

Mikayla bounced on the balls of her feet. “That’s so cool! Is that really a thing?”

“Yeah! It’s called the whip. Technically it’s used to move your jammer forward versus throwing opponents backwards, but you gotta learn somehow, right?”

“But, I lashed out,” Ryan fumbled over his words. “You’re not mad?”

“Mad? That’s what I’ve been trying to get you to do this whole time!” Grace was beaming at him now. “You finally got your push!”

“Wait, so what was the push?” Min asked. “I couldn’t hear a thing.”

“Yeah, I thought you said something about leaving ‘him’ alone? Who is he?” Kez asked.

“Oh!” Ryan looked shocked, then twisted the cloth in his hands uneasily. “Uhhhh it was…Turnip the chicken. I mean, Aubrey the rat! I mean…”

“Ryan and I were just tapping into different situations to help him play rougher,” Grace cut in, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “Right, Ry?”

“Oh! Yeah,” Ryan readily agreed, looking at Grace gratefully. “Just remembering what was important.” Min’s eyes darted to the headband Ryan was holding before they dropped away towards his lap.

“Yeah, Ry-Guy finally tapped into his anger!” Kez flashed a hang ten.

“Well, I wasn’t even that angry. I mean, yeah I was angry, which felt a little weird, but also more like…” Ryan looked at Grace, trying to find his words. “Protective, I guess?”

Grace nearly took a step back. Anger seemed to be the driving force when she first practiced skating; she never thought about tapping into other emotions to get the same effect.

“Anyways, can we skate now? I feel bad I came so late,” Mikayla toed her skate on the ground.

“Yeah, and keep it down now that you’re all friends this time,” Blake hollered. “You’re scaring the little guy.”

“Yeah, and then you can finish that project by yourself,” Grace quipped back, and Blake’s mouth curled into a thin line before he hunched back towards Turnip. She turned back towards Ryan. “I’m really happy you finally got your spark, Ryan. I’ll trust you to do your thing and not get on your case again…if you remember that spark, we got a deal?”

Ryan stared at Grace for a solid minute as if he never received a compliment in his life before his face split into a grin, eyes flitting briefly towards Min-Gi before returning to her. “You got it, Gigi.”

Grace smiled. “Great.” As Ryan began to move away, Grace grasped him by the shoulder and leaned into his ear with light menace. “But don’t ever call me Gigi again.”

“What?! But Kez calls you bad nicknames all the time!” Ryan argued.

“Yeah, and somehow yours is worse than all of them combined,” Grace counterpointed. Ryan slouched with an overdramatic groan. Min-Gi held a breath before he laughed, and somehow that was enough to wipe the annoyance off Ryan’s face. 

“Hey Min?” Ryan turned towards him. “Would you wanna like…hang out after practice?”

“Oh! I have homework tonight,” Min started, but then saw Grace give him a steely glance. “But um, yeah we can hang.”

Ryan grinned. “Cool.”

Grace clapped her hands together “Alright, back to practice!” The skaters got into position; they were dutiful but still laughing and teasing each other easily. Ryan was able to rough it up more easily, less hesitant and diving into the fire with exuberance. They eventually worked up to techniques from the player’s handbook, building their derby machine slow but steady. 

The next practice, Ryan and Min showed up together, Ryan wearing a wrinkled white t-shirt. The logo was a yellow chicken with a choker and bright pink wig, captioned ‘Chicken Choice Judy’ at the bottom. 

“Hey Ryan, I like your shirt!” Mikayla exclaimed as she finished stretching. “I always wanted to do a sketchy art style like that, where did you get it?”

“Actually,” Ryan came forward, tugging the shirt where it didn’t reach his belly button. “Min made it for me when we were in high school.” Min turned away, rubbing the back of his neck with a tiny grin. 

It was then that Grace realized the shirt had the same colors as Ryan’s headband the other day. “Ryan,” Grace started. “About last practice-”

“Don’t,” Ryan politely held up a hand as he walked the two further away from the rest of the group. “It’s alright, you didn’t know.”

She looked down at his shirt apologetically. “You sure?”

“Yeah. Besides,” he nudged her elbow. “I can always get back at you while we train.” She snorted and shoved him playfully, and he returned the gesture with a snicker.

“What’s the shirt for? How did you make it?” Mikayla asked eagerly. Min looked towards Ryan.

“Well,” Ryan started as he strode back over. “It’s a bit of a story, but since Kez is getting ready…” He continued the conversation with the two of them with relaxed chatter.

“Hey,” Kez whispered to Grace from down on the bench. “I think you really helped Ryan.”

Grace raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah, he’s like…he seems less antsy around Min,” Kez shrugged as she slipped her skates on. “He’s different, but not bad different, you know?”

Grace lingered at Ryan. His muscles were less tightly drawn than before, as if he was switching from a job interview to comfort mode. Hands flew around as he made animated gestures, and genuine excitement filled his eyes as if weights behind his eyes had been cut loose and he was able to think and speak more freely.
Grace didn’t think she had much to do with it. Hell, the anger release wasn’t even a strict skater thing. It was mainly a skater coach technique.

But then again, maybe what Ryan needed wasn’t a skater coach.

“Huh,” Grace mused to herself. “I guess he is.”

Chapter Text

Screams of ecstasy and terror mixed deliciously as the raid continued. The Apex had their fair share of raids, but these felt more special now that they were post game rituals. The next victim was an outdoor skate park, overtaken by a carnival by someone not too fond in the Apex’s eyes. The captain scared off a vendor with a look as she took a corn dog off the heating rack.

“Hey lady!” An angry teen with a silver buzz cut and wide ear gauges marched towards her. A taller boy in a blue and yellow varsity jacket jogged alongside them, a large, roughed-up dog in tow. “What the heck was that all about?”

“Oh? Sorry, didn’t know you were super precious about this fair or whatever.” She rolled her eyes under her raid mask as she lifted it slightly to eat.

“I mean, she did get our money back from that con artist.” The boy caught up next to them and shrugged. He was tall and athletically built in comparison to his scrawny companion.

A new opportunity. “I really appreciate that,” the captain smiled, twirling around. “Say, you kept up in that game competition, you run pretty fast.”

“Oh! Thanks, we all have been running a lot together, so that makes sense,” he said humbly while rubbing the back of his neck. His friend was not so amused, huffing before their eyes trailed to the captain’s arm.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” The captain preened, holding up her forearm marked with X’s in green paint. “It’s okay, admire me.”

“What is that?” the boy mused.

“Well, I play a sport called roller derby. These X’s represent all the wins I’ve had, whether it’s points scored or opponents knocked down.” She put her hands on her hips. “Say, we have a need for new players, you should stop by one of our practices sometime.”

“Really?” the boy exclaimed. “That’s so cool!”

“Uh, excuse me, but we have more important things to do,” the punk hissed while ushering the dog away.

“Fine by me,” the captain shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s not for everyone, especially the faint of heart.”

“I’m not-” they began to shout, but stopped short as they scowled at the smirking captain. They huffed, “I guess we could check it out.”

Bingo.

“Alright, really good work so far! Let’s take a break and do some notes.” Grace clapped her hands and headed towards the ledge where the rink wall cut out to the regular floor. The routine that followed next was customary for each practice: each skater high-fived Grace while she gave them feedback. 

“Kez, great speed, but you’re burning out a little fast, so you need to pace yourself. Ryan, major improvement on blocking, but you’re getting a little close to the no-zones, stick to hitting the torso, shoulders, and hips. Mikayla…” 

Grace paused for a moment, wondering what advice she could give. Mikayla’s skills laid perfectly in the middle of the road; she didn’t have Kez’s speed, nor Ryan’s strength (and pent up aggression for that matter), but she didn’t necessarily fall behind either. She was just a perfectly average skater. 

“You’re keeping up pretty good, but just put a little more oomph in your everything,” she settled on. “All good?”

“Yup, thanks!” Mikayla said, chipper in contrast to her two other teammates. 

Kez nearly collapsed on the bench, wheezing to catch her breath. Ryan rolled his shoulder in circles to stretch it out, wincing slightly.

“Whew! Kayla, how are you not tired?” Kez gasped as she took a swig from her water bottle. “I’m wiped.”

"I dunno,” she said lightly. “Maybe you’re just going too hard.”

“I don’t know if there’s ‘too hard’ for a sport like derby,” Ryan countered while wincing.

“Woah, careful!” Min called as he rushed next to him, tossing his backpack to the side as he reached into the team’s cooler for an ice pack. Ryan laughed and rolled his eyes with good nature.

“Well, we can’t wipe out too easily,” Grace warned. “We only have 30 seconds in-between jams, remember?”

“THIRTY SECONDS?!” Ryan and Kez boomed incredulously in unison. The puffball on Kez’s hat bobbed violently, and strands of Ryan’s hair stuck out like a frazzled cat’s fur. 

Blake shushed them harshly, glaring from where he was stroking Turnip’s fur. “Sorry,” Ryan mouthed, and then turned back to Grace. “Thirty seconds?”

“Yeah, that’s the rules.” Grace held up her hands apologetically. “That’s when we strategize the play for each play.”

“Oh, man,” Kez sighed. “I don’t know if I can stay that fast a whole game with only 30 second breaks.”

“Come on, guys. The game play isn’t that bad,” Mikayla shrugged. 

“What happens if someone wears out in the middle of a round, anyway?” Min asked. He rarely contributed to the skating discussion, as he was adamant about not playing, so Grace was pleasantly taken aback by his curiosity.

“Well, there is something called a pivot, a type of blocker,” Grace explained, jumping up to sit on the rink wall. “The jammer wears a sock with a star on their helmet, and they can pass it to the pivot to become the new jammer for that round. I don’t really recommend it, though.”

“Why not?” Mikayla prodded. “It sounds like the perfect solution.”

“Well, jams are only two minutes each anyway, so in my experience it’s better to push through than to waste time trying to pass it off to someone else.” Grace was typically the main jammer on her old team, and seamlessly combined speed and strength to push through the pack and get the points. Even though there was technically a pivot, she never utilized the opportunity. Sure, teammates were essential to any victory, but pushing through set an example to them as well. It wasn’t just a game strategy, but a leadership one as well.

“Well, hopefully I don’t pivot my joints out of whack,” Ryan groaned as he popped a bone in his back, causing Min to wince. Kez still seemed to be breathing a little heavy as well.

“Okay, let’s take ten and then go back out, okay?” Grace suggested.

“You got it, Grace-of-spades,”  Kez gave a weak thumbs up.

Ryan snorted at the nickname. “Thanks, G.” Grace thumbed her team notebook out of her fanny pack to flick through the pages. It listed all the derby rulebook strategies and practice notes in smudged, purple ink. Some of them were easier to memorize than others, maybe she could start by planning specific plays that would play into each teammate’s strength-

“Hey, you have a minute?” Mikayla asked, wringing her hands slightly. 

“Uh, yeah! Of course,” Grace tucked the notebook away. “Everything okay?”

“Uh, yeah! I just um,” she cleared her throat, eyes darting to her teammates and back to Grace. “Wanted to ask you something, one-on-one.”

“Oh! Yeah, no problem.” She jumped off the wall and skated to the opposite side, gesturing for Mikayla to join Grace’s left. Skating over, Mikayla gripped the railing. “What’s up?”

“So, when you compete in derby,” Mikayla started. “Do you ask people to come see you?”

“I mean, I guess?” Grace answered more like a question. “Most of my…old friends were already on the team.” She watched as Ryan pulled Kez around the rink, Min jumping on the track each time he thought they were going to fall only for them to rebound and laugh at him. “Why?”

“Well, I wasn’t sure if it was normal, you know?” One of Mikayla’s wheels spun in the air as she idly kicked out her leg.

“Was there somebody you wanted to ask?” Grace teasingly nudged Mikayla’s elbow. “I wouldn’t recommend inviting your parents if that’s what you’re thinking.”

Mikayla chuckled. “No, but, there is someone. My roommate, actually. We haven’t talked in a while, but she’s my best friend.” She sighed despondently. “I know she’s going through a hard time right now, but it feels like she’s ignoring me.”

“Sounds like she’s taking out her issues on you.”

“No, it’s more complicated than that,” she murmured, scratching the back of her head. “Her parents split, and I know it’s hard on her, but she keeps brushing it off like it’s no big deal. And I wanna help and be there for her, but…I don’t know.” It was the most melancholy Grace had ever seen Mikayla, her usual enthusiasm muted.

She trilled her lips. “Well, would you maybe wanna bring her to practice?”

It was like someone turned on a lamp behind Mikayla’s eyes as she jerked her head up. “Really? I can?”

“Sure! You can ask if she wants to join the team, too, if you want. Might help get her out of her head.” 

“Can I bring my other suite mates too?”

“Sure! The more, the merrier.” The team was also in desperate need of at least one more person to compete in tryouts, and having other players to switch out with would be a massive aid.

“Okay! I’ll text her and let you know what she says!” Mikayla pushed herself off the wall. “Thank you so much Grace!” She waved excitedly as she skated backwards.

Min was busy squawking at his two friends when Mikayla tugged on his sleeve. After a few moments of conversation, the two of them walked over to the bench, Mikayla rifling through her bag to grab a notebook. She began to scribble something, and Min watched the paper intently, their focus becoming shared.

Watching the scene unfold poked at a bud of nostalgia in Grace’s chest.

“You’re a natural!” the captain praised as she swirled around, watching as one of the new possible recruits-the boy from the carnival-stumbled against the ledge after several quick laps.

“Yeah, well, you know what they say about swimmer’s lungs,” he chuckled breathlessly, grabbing his water bottle. Luckily, she was able to keep him separate from the punk and the dog, leaving her second-in-command to deal with them. It was obvious they wouldn’t make a good fit with their propensity to question everything she said, unlike the eager-to-please boy.

“So, your friend is quite the character,” the captain commented.

“Oh yeah, they’re awesome!” the recruit said brightly. “We’re at the same sleep-away camp and we befriended this cool dog, checking out stuff like this carnival and-oh! Right, you were there.”

The captain grinned politely. “They seem nice but, they’re kinda different from us, don’t you think?” she said. 

He cocked his head in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Well, they don’t really listen to anybody. Roller derby is a team effort, and teams have to work together to win,” she crouched down to look the boy in the face. “You want to win, don’t you?”

“Of course I do!” he answered. It was clear he didn’t want to make anyone upset, his friend being no exception. “But they’re just being cautious, the security guards at camp have been bothering them lately because of our dog. I keep trying to explain that it’s okay, but it seems like everyone has it out for them for no reason.”

“Sounds like they put problems on you that had nothing to do with you,” she alluded. “The Apex is supposed to protect each other, and how can we do that if we’re so concerned about ourselves?” He looked down, and she knew she had him where she wanted him. 

“Hey, cap!” One of the veteran members skated over, holding a handful of golden painted clay cubes. “Was investigating that guy hanging outside. Said he wanted to give these to you as an offering to join.” She took the cubes in her hands and stared out the window where said guy stood. He was a bit older than she was, looking goofy with his over-sized hat and constant giggling. That would get old quick.

“Let’s see.” She looked at the cubes and crushed them swiftly with her fist, dropping them to the ground as she kicked them for good measure. “Hya!”

“Why’d you do that?” the new recruit asked feebly, watching the guy’s horrified expression through the window.

“It was a test to see if he could handle us, and he failed,” she dismissed. “He’s a null.”

“A null?”

“It means nothing, not even a zero, I read it in a book,” she bragged. “They hold skaters back from reaching their true potential. Roller derby is a difficult sport, but nulls just turn it into a joke.” He chuckled weakly, as if unsure. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Hey don’t worry about it, you’re one of us, so we’ll look out for you.”

“Hey, where’s Mikayla?” Kez asked as she tied her skate planted on the bench. “She’s usually on time.”

“She’s carpooling with some people,” Grace explained as she stretched her legs. “She wanted to bring a few of her friends to practice.”

“That’s nice,” Min commented.

“Yeah, so nice,” Ryan added, sarcasm dripping in his voice. “Really nice that she tells her friends what’s going on in her life and thinks to let them in on things.” Min and Kez hunched in response. It was bizarre, considering their comfort with each other just two days ago.

“Hey, are you okay?” Grace asked, testing the waters of his mood.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Ryan forcefully pulled the laces on his skates taut. “Why, you gonna give me another emotional obstacle course, cap?” The ‘p’ in ‘cap’ was popped irritably.

“No, I just wanted to check in on you,” Grace glowered at him. “You don’t need to be a dick about it.”

“Grace?”

Grace’s face shifted into a bright smile. “Mikayla, hey!” She skated away from the previous conversation towards the door where their last player came in. Her attitude was just as bright as her outfit; Mikayla’s canary yellow shirt was sleeveless with a high neckline, paired with pink gym shorts and high, shooting star patterned socks. A scrunchie tied her hair in high ponytail, two little bangs coiling in front of her crimson scarf tied in a bow. “Ready for practice?”

“Yes, but first I want you to meet my friends,” Mikayla answered while gesturing out the door. A girl with a long orange ponytail came in, hands shoved in her green, oversized hoodie pockets as her eyes darted around the room. She slouched under the weight of her tan-hide backpack, nose scrunching up the thin wire frames of her glasses. “This is Tulip! She’s my roommate and friend.”

“Hello,” Tulip waved, shifting from foot to foot in her fuzzy boots. “Just tell me where to sit and I’ll be out of your way.”

“Just on the bench is fine! Mikayla told me all about you, it’s nice to finally meet you,” Grace put out a hand for her to shake.

Tulip’s ears perked up as she shook Grace’s hand. “Really?”

“All good things, don’t worry,” Grace winked, and Tulip seemed to relax a little. “Now who are your other-”

Grace’s blood went cold at who came through the door next.

A tall boy with a blue and yellow varsity jacket had his arm slung around someone with buzzed, silver hair and ear gages. A pair she would recognize anywhere.

Thankfully Mikayla said their names before they could slip off of Grace’s tongue. “This is Jesse and Lake, we’re suitemates. Well, Lake is in one of my art classes, and they room with Jesse.”

“…Nice to meet you,” Grace needed to remind herself how to speak.

“Mikayla told us all about you,” Jesse-the blue jacket guy-introduced conversationally. 

“Oh, has she?” Grace mentally willed herself to smooth out any stress lines on her face.

“She says you’re really cool and have a lot of fun here,” he smiled.

“Yeah, she’s said a lot about your club. Gave us run-downs of your practices,” Lake-the one with the silver hair-added. They squinted at Grace. “Have we met? You seem familiar.”

“What? No! Never seen you before. In my life. Ever.” Sweat started to drip down the back of Grace’s neck. Were they messing with her?

“Grace says we might be in need of more skaters if you decide you wanna join,” Mikayla added, cheerfully and unhelpfully.

Grace dug her nails into her palms. “Oh, I don’t know if it’s that urgent, plus it’s really difficult-”

“You saying we aren’t tough?” Lake accused.

“Lake, relax! Grace is just looking out for everyone, right?” Mikayla assured her friend while looking back at Grace.

“Um, yeah! Yeah,” Grace responded less than confidently. “Let’s uh, stretch and get started.” She quickly moved away before anyone could argue. A bundle of nerves began to ache in Grace’s legs, and her muscles felt tight as she willed them to move. Not now, she thought to herself.

“Hi, Blake!” Mikayla waved as she pulled her skates out of her backpack. “I brought my friends to watch us skate today, if that’s alright?”

“Your friends aren’t noisy, are they? I don’t want anybody startling Turnip any more today,” Blake leered carefully at the guests as Turnip popped out of the neck of his shirt.

 “Well, if they are, here’s something for his consolation,” she rummaged through her backpack to pull out a plastic bag full of sliced apples. 

Blake’s brow upturned in curiosity. “Are these for me?”

“For Turnip. I don’t know what rats eat, but I figured he would want something since you two are here for a while.”

“Oh. Well, thanks,” Blake said softly as he took the baggy. Softness was an alien expression for him ever since Grace met him. “Have fun skating today.” And he put on his headphones as he pulled out an apple slice for Turnip to sniff and nibble at. 

Unfortunately, Grace couldn’t linger on the sweet bonding moment. Her mind kept racing as a dull ache inched up her knees. Over a whole semester of trying to outrun her past team exploits, only to trip at the finish line at the sign of her dark days in the form of two unexpected guests. She was wearing a mask when she last saw them, she reminded herself, but what if they still recognized her? How was she supposed to react? Were they waiting to catch her red handed? Did they already rat her out? Should she apologize? Should she wait it out?

“Grace!” A hand waved in front of her face, and she blinked. Mikayla’s freckles crinkled around her eyes in concern. “I said your name a few times, are you okay?”

“Oh! Yeah,” Grace shook her head as if it would dispel her thoughts. “Just, uh, thinking about what we’re gonna do today.”

“Okay! Ready when you are,” she shrugged and skated out to the rink with Kez and Ryan, waving to her friends on the benches. All three of them waved back, Jesse being emphatic, Lake being nonplussed, and Tulip half-paying attention as she stared at the screen of her sticker-coated laptop.

Inhaling deeply, Grace slowly made her way over to the other skaters. “Alright, um, let’s practice getting through the pack. One person goes through at a time while the rest of us practice blocking. Sound good? ” 

Everyone nodded, but something felt off. Mikayla’s bright smile starkly contrasted Kez’s uncertain slouch and Ryan’s standoffish attitude, her cheery exterior disorienting like looking into the sun. 

“Ready, set, go!” Everyone took off, and Grace started a few seconds later to demonstrate. Her mind began to wander, trying not to focus on her distress, physical or emotional. She only winced slightly when she pushed through the rest of the skaters. “Alright, who wants to go next?” 

“I’ll go,” Ryan said sharply, taking off without a second glance. Within another minute he was back, seeming to knock into Kez on purpose.

“Woah, dude!” Kez exclaimed irritably. “Watch out, I’m right here!”

“You could learn a thing or two about watching out,” Ryan muttered.

Kez sputtered. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Okay! I’m going next!” Mikayla interrupted, quick to leave the tension. She made a huge arc around the rink, waving proudly at her friends. Grace tried to keep herself from staring too much at them, glancing in her peripheral. Jesse and Lake looked perfectly content to watch, but Tulip appeared almost smaller than before. Was there a hint of scrutinizing in their glances that Grace couldn’t see?

“And, tada!” Mikayla announced proudly as she effortlessly swept through the three of them. With all of their preoccupations, the other skaters forgot they were supposed to be blocking. “How was that?”

“Ryan, why didn’t you block?” Kez tried to ask in the least offending way possible.

“Oh, are you telling me how to block now?” he snapped back.

“Is everything okay?” Jesse called from the bleachers. “Grace, you look a little shaky.”

“I’m fine, thanks,” Grace gritted through her teeth, feigning calm. Every muscle groaned with pain, firelogs of stress being tossed into her agony. She didn’t even realize it was visually apparent now. “Kez, you go now.”

While Kez had a speedy start, her energy seemed to wither out by the time she reached the pack. 

“Maybe you guys should take a break,” Lake echoed a similar sentiment. “You seem pretty tired.”

“I-I don’t think that’s necessary,” Grace managed to breathe out. “As captain, I think we should keep going since that’s what the game is about.” Lake crossed their arms irritably, something not unnoticed by Grace.

Meanwhile, Kez slowed to a stop, hunching over on her knees.

“Kez, are you alright?” Min called.

“Why do you care? You were never interested in the game until now,” Ryan rolled his eyes.

“What? Why are you being so dogmatic?” Min huffed, agitated. “It has nothing to do with you.”

“I don’t know, why are you being so dense about this, Min? You know what she did!”

“What?” Kez piped up. “I didn’t do anything!”

“Kez, that’s not really true,” Min said, not unsure but not confident either.

The bickering continued, and Grace stared uncomfortably. Between the burning in her legs, the arguing of her typically friendly teammates, and the presence of…the others, it made it hard to focus on anything. The clamor blended together into a hush of white noise in her head, as if her ears only processed static.

“Guys,” somehow Mikayla’s voice cut through the non-existent buzz. “Do you need anything?”

“Mikayla, stay out of this,” Min said firmly, ending with a “Please.”

“Look, if you’re struggling with something, we could take a break. Right, Grace?” Grace couldn’t respond, sweat blurring her vision.

“Oh, um,” Kez’s voice raised an octave. “Well, you see, it’s no big deal, so yeah! No worries!”

“Guys, I can help-”

“No, you can’t!” Ryan snapped, and a millisecond later a slam echoed through the rink, snapping Grace out of her trance.

 Everyone’s eyes followed the sound, watching as Tulip yanked her backpack over her shoulder and stormed into the bathroom. Jesse and Lake looked helplessly at Mikayla before tearing off after her. Mikayla stared at everyone, and then at Grace, who couldn’t find any words before the younger girl ran out the door of the rink.

“Oh, look what you did!” Min scolded.

“What I did?” Ryan accused. “You know it all started with Kez!”

“Oh, you’re one to talk!” Kez shot back, and the three of them continued to argue in circles. The door Mikayla slammed burned in Grace’s mind, soon igniting her temper.
 
A whistle pierced the air, and Kez, Ryan, and Min whipped their heads to find Grace creating the signal with her fingers at the corners of her mouth.

“What the hell is up with you guys?” Grace fumed. “You have been acting weird all day.” Instead of answering, Ryan and Min looked pointedly at Kez. 

“Well,” Kez picked at the edge of her hijab. “We had a bit of a misunderstanding yesterday.”

“A misunderstanding?” Ryan scoffed. “More like she lied about her roommate to try and get us to live there full time, and then said roommate blew up at us, and she’s wondering why we’re upset!”

“Ryan!” Min lightly snapped, but more in a way to diffuse the situation. 

“Am I wrong? Morgan literally threw shit at us, and we didn’t get so much as a warning! Kez doesn’t think about how things affect other people, and you said yourself that she never says sorry,” Ryan barked back. 

“What? Yeah I do!” Kez argued.

“No Kez,” Min said, growing a sterner expression. “Even if you say you never meant to mess things up, you never apologize.”

“It’s just like…fumbles and mishaps and-” Sweat began to form on Kez’s brow. “Grace, you’re on my side, right?”

“What? Why are you bringing me into this?” Grace asked, feeling annoyed.

“Well, you’re the captain,” she mumbled. “And we’re like, all on the same team, you know?”

“You want captain’s advice? Fine,” Grace curled her lip into a snarl. “You three are going to take however long it takes to squash this beef, and apologize to Mikayla for how you acted in front of her friends today. Until then, no more practice.”

“What?” Kez and Ryan shouted in unison. 

“Grace, isn’t that a little extreme?” Min said indignantly, the other two stiffening up.

“Why does it matter to you, you don’t even skate, remember?” she shot back, and Min immediately fell silent. “Now I’m gonna check on Mikayla and see if she’s okay, so figure whatever this is out.” She turned around and paused a moment, stilling. “Please,” she finished, more softly this time. Waiting for a response, all she heard was a collective sigh. She took that as her cue to make her exit.

Grace rushed out of the rink, eyes darting around to find Mikayla. Soon they landed on her figure, curled up on the ground next to the building. She was hugging her backpack close to her chest, hair loose as her scrunchie fell to the ground. Hair curtained her face as she made an effort to shrink into herself.

“Hey, I’m sorry about what happened in there,” Grace started.

“Are you?” Mikayla used a bitter tone Grace never heard from her before. 

“I didn’t know they were gonna act like that-”

“No! I mean, yeah it was that, but,” Mikayla finally looked up at her, malcontent. “It was you too, Grace.”

Grace took a step backwards. “What?”

“You’ve been acting distant all day. First with my friends, then with the team. It’s like you don’t even wanna be here,” Mikayla scolded, faltering to curl in on herself. “Did they do something wrong? Did…I do something wrong?”

“No! Mikayla, no, it’s not your fault, it’s…” Grace fumbled to fabricate a reasonable explanation. She tried so hard to keep everyone out of her past only for them to get entangled in it again. “I don’t have anything against you or your friends. It’s…it’s all me.” She deflated, at a loss for words as Mikayla stared at her expectantly. “Can I sit here?”

A second’s hesitation passed before Mikayla scooched over. Grace slowly lowered herself so she wouldn’t collapse. Her muscles screamed at her, but she took steady breaths to let the pain fizzle out. 

“I was really excited to bring my roommate friends to meet my derby friends,” Mikayla said wistfully as she slid a notebook out of her backpack. “I thought we could all get along, but it was awful.”

The book was flipped to a colored-pencil drawing of stylized characters wearing glamorized outfits. Upon further inspection, Grace realized the figure in the center was meant to be Mikayla, smiling in a fancy, magenta school-type uniform and tiara, posing in her skates. Her arm was around someone in a similar green outfit and orange ponytail-Tulip. Soon she recognized all the other characters-Kez, Ryan, Min-Gi, Jesse, and most notably, Lake and Grace standing next to each other.

“Why’d you put me next to Lake?” Grace asked cautiously.

“Because you’re both really strong and confident, and I…kinda look up to you two. So I thought you would get along,” she explained sadly.

A tightness pulled at Grace’s chest. “Sometimes, you meet people and they remind you of something bad that happened. Not because they’re bad, it’s usually something stupid or innocuous.”

Sweat dripped on Grace’s palms as Mikayla tilted her head. “Was that what happened today with my friends? What did they remind you of?”

“Well.” It felt like Grace’s throat was going to close up, preventing her from even alluding to the truth. “When I was younger, I made some stupid decisions, and your friends reminded me of people that were…around when I made those decisions.”

Mikayla tapped her fingers against her sketchbook. “It’s not their fault, though.”

“I know! I know it’s not. Like I said, it’s all me,” Grace lamented. “Not all your friends will get along with each other, that’s all I’m trying to say.”

“I know, I just feel so awful that I can’t help. I can’t stop the team from fighting, I can’t keep my friends happy, I don’t even have something that’s helping the team.”

“Stop it, that’s not true, Mikayla,” Grace said gently. “And it’s not on you to fix everything. What happened out there wasn’t your fault.”

“But what can I do? My roommates all seem so independent, not to mention you, Kez, and Ryan have all these talents I don’t. And I’m not the hyper-aggressive roller derby player the team needs,” Mikayla rested her head on her crossed arms. “How can I help?”

At first, Grace didn’t know how to answer. All her coaching towards Mikayla had been vague; she didn’t know what skills to tap into because nothing really popped out to her, positive or negative. Practices with Mikayla were just a general pleasure for Grace; she was always kind, open to feedback, and resilient.

But then Grace recalled there is one derby trick specifically for the resilient; one she tended to ignore in the past.

“I don’t know how to help fix the whole friend thing,” Grace started, picking up the discarded scrunchie. “But…I think I can find a way for you to reach your derby potential.”

Mikayla raised her head slowly. “Really? What is it?”

“I would show you, but I think our team is a little out of commission at the moment,” Grace shrugged despondently. “I told them no more practice until they figure things out.”

The corner of Mikayla’s mouth quirked upward. “I think I can get some volunteers.” She pushed herself up and offered Grace her hand. Reaching out felt strange to Grace, as normally it worked in the reverse. Still, she felt it was wrong to reject Mikayla’s gesture, so she set herself upright. Her pain mostly subsided, but a dull ache left her a bit wobbly.

“Are you okay?” Mikayla asked, quickly adding, “Please don’t lie.”

Grace felt her mouth go dry, trying to find a good explanation. “I’m okay, just…a little sore today.”

“Is that why you skated slower?”

“Oh, no, it’s that obvious?” She groaned. 

“No, no! I’m just sorry I didn’t check in earlier.” Mikayla waved her hands apologetically. 

“Hey, don’t even worry about it,” Grace assured her. “We’ll both look out for each other, okay?” Sharing a consoling smile, the two opened the metal double doors with baited breath.

The rink’s silence was ghostly. Kez, Ryan, and Min-Gi were all facing away from each other as if they were magnets from opposite poles repelling one another. All three of them jolted up when Grace and Mikayla entered, looking more ashamed than earlier.

“Mikayla,” Kez began.

“Did you sort it out?” Grace asked firmly. They all looked off to the side, silence overpowering any sort of words. She sighed. “Why don’t you three head home for the day?”

“They can stay,” Mikayla cut in quickly, then looked at the other three. “If you all want to, that is.”

The threeway glance repeated, and Min spoke up this time. “Only if you want us here.”

“Of course, I wanted to show my friends my derby moves, after all,” she proclaimed with a tiny smile as she skated away. Stunned at her boldness, Grace followed Mikayla to the counter.

“Hey Blake?” Mikayla chirped as if nothing happened. “Can I ask a favor?”

“Mhmm, what?” Blake groaned as he slipped his headphones off, annoyance quickly wiping away as he saw who was speaking to him. “Oh, Mikayla! What’s up?” 

“I know you already do so much for us, but, could we borrow three pairs of skates please?” She scribbled three numbers on a smudged piece of sketchbook paper and slid it over the counter. “My friends are gonna help us practice today.”

Grace froze. “They’re what?”

“Anything for my favorite derby skater,” Blake said while leaning in. “Though your teammates are on thin ice. You need me to kick their asses, give me the word.”

Mikayla looked over at them thoughtfully before shrugging at Blake. “Not yet, thanks!” Grace wasn’t sure what was funnier, the key to Blake’s friendship bequeathing gifts upon his beloved Turnip, or the lovable Mikayla abusing that power if she was wronged.

She didn’t linger on the humor long, though. “Look, I’m not doubting your friends’ abilities, but are you sure about having them skate? You said I didn’t make a great impression and I don’t wanna, you know…” The words ‘make them feel used’ died on Grace’s tongue. 

“If they see us here talking, they’ll know everything’s okay,” Mikayla assured her. Stepping out, she waved towards three figures hiding in the foyer of the bathroom. “Hey guys, Grace is gonna need your help to demonstrate a trick, if that’s okay.” Grace froze up at the phrasing she specifically would not have chosen.

Lake spoke up with uncertainty. “No funny business?”

Mikayla looked at Grace, and she remembered she needed to answer. “None. We just had some…team differences earlier. Sorry about that.” It took a lot of effort not to sound disappointed; Grace couldn’t understand how Mikayla could be so gracious towards the team, towards her, even.

Jesse turned to Lake. “I’ll only do it if you’re comfortable.”

“I’m okay,” Lake assured him. They turned to Tulip. “What about you, T?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Tulip clenched her hands. “I should finish my coding homework, I’m a little behind on it.”
“Aren’t you always behind on it?” Mikayla teased as she glided over, back straightening.

Tulip snickered, relaxing her hands. “If I’m gonna be the coding hero of Wisconsin, I need to do all my assignments.”

“I’m sure even coding heroes need a break once in a while,” Mikayla held out the pair of rental skates towards her. “I won’t push you, but I would really love it if you skated with me.” As if shot with a freeze ray, Tulip stood speechless. Without another quippy remark, she took the skates from Mikayla’s hands and wordlessly sat to lace them up.

Now slightly more at ease, Grace took the place of captain once more. “Now, what we are going to do is called passing the star, a trick with a jammer and a pivot.” Mikayla’s eyes lit up with recognition, and Grace winked at her. “In order to switch jammers, the jammer has to pass the star on their helmet to the pivot in a legal way,” Grace explained. “I’ll start as the jammer, Mikayla will pivot, and the rest of you will try to block me from getting to Mikayla. Sound good?”

“Yup!” Mikayla gave an emphatic thumbs up.

“Mikayla,” Grace said somberly as she pulled Mikayla to the side. “I’m not saying this to scare you out of doing this, but being a pivot is a big job. You’re essentially leading the pack, so even if the jammer doesn’t switch, you’re setting the pace of the bout. Do you think you can handle that responsibility?”

Mikayla looked off to the side in thought, then returned her gaze to Grace, fire in her eyes. “Yes.”

“Then let’s do this.” Grace reached into her skate bag on the floor and pulled out something she hadn’t used in months. It was her helmet, rose finish scuffed on the outside. A small sock sat inside the helmet. Tossing the helmet in the air, Grace spun around to face everyone. “All right, everyone stand in line, Mikayla go in the middle. We’ll start simple so you get the premise, but I’ll be the jammer. You can tell by this-” she paused to emphasize pulling the sock over the helmet, adorning a golden star. “Star on the side of my helmet. To swap jammers, I would give this to the pivot, who normally wears a sock with a stripe on their helmet. Since we don’t have that equipment yet, I’ll just pass the star to Mikayla.”

“Oh does Mikayla need a helmet? There are spares back here!” Blake waved from his spot.

“Blake,” Grace said, impressed. “Are you offering to help?”

“A friend of Turnip is a friend of mine,” Blake proclaimed as he tossed a helmet to Mikayla. “You might wanna wear a headband underneath that one. You know, lice precautions.”

“I got it! Thanks Blake!” she answered as she flipped the bow around on her head and stretched out the scarf so it covered her entire scalp. Once she had the helmet buckled on, she tied the rest of her hair in a low ponytail with the scrunchie.

“Lucky for you, I got the pivot cover as well,” Grace handed her the sock with the stripe to pull over her helmet. “Ready?” 

Jesse raised his hand. “Just one question?”

Grace swallowed any discomfort of a possible accusation. “Yes?”

He tilted his head in confusion. “What’s a jammer?”

“Dude, it’s the point scorer,” Tulip chided.

“You remembered my mini-lesson!” Mikayla squealed.

“Oh, well,” Tulip’s agitation fizzled out, and she twisted a strand on her ponytail as the corners of her mouth slightly upturned. “It’s not rocket science, really.”

“Can we please get started?” Lake huffed irritably.

“All right, on my signal,” Grace said as she crouched down. “Ready, set go!” The skaters took off at a reasonable pace so Grace didn’t have to aggravate her joints more than usual. She took the sock off her helmet and went around the pack to give it to Mikayla in the middle. She pulled it on her helmet effortlessly, taking a lap before passing it back to Grace. The motion was repeated for a couple more laps before Grace stopped the skaters.

 “This time, go another lap through the pack after I pass the star to you, like you’re the jammer,” she told Mikayla. “Can you handle if we’re a little more intense?”

Mikayla scoffed confidently. “You bet!” She swiveled to her friends. “Crank it up, you guys!”

“On it, boss!” Jesse saluted in a goofy manner. Lake punched his shoulder, and the two of the them laughed. The nostalgia bud once again bloomed a little more.

“Okay, ready, set, go!” The pack took off once more. It was a little faster, but with Mikayla’s steady pace it was nothing Grace couldn’t handle. She once again managed to push through the pack, but not before getting hip checked by Tulip. The strength was only moderate, but it was enough to throw Grace off her groove for a minute.

“Nice block!” Grace couldn’t help but compliment.

“Woah, girl!” Mikayla gasped. “Where did you learn how to hip check?”

“Uh, guess and check?” Tulip answered, unsure. “Like the scientific method, and stuff.”

“You would use the scientific method for a contact sport,” Lake snorted.

“It’s not my fault I’m the logical twin!” Tulip argued, and Grace used that to nudge an opening. Swiftly, she and Mikayla swapped helmet covers. 

“Go, go go go!” Grace shouted as she ushered Mikayla on.

“You got this, Kayla-Bayla!” Kez cheered from the sidelines.

“Come on Mikayla, you’re almost there!” Ryan joined in.

“Go, Mikayla!” Min shouted, and soon everyone in the rink was cheering her on. The smile returned to the skater’s face, and she used her well-saved energy to pick up the pace. Grace was too caught up in the euphoria to notice they were heading towards a curve. She tried to brake, but her leg was still feeling off, and she tumbled over on her knees.
 
“Mikayla, watch out!” Tulip cried. Before Grace could upright herself, she felt a heavy weight on one shoulder, and tilted her head up in astonishment.

Mikayla soared over Grace’s head, a meteor missing a planet by just a hare. Time slowed down as her legs reached the wooden floor, arms waving as she caught her balance. Wheels clacked loudly against the ground, echoed only by a small squeak from the benches.

The entire room’s jaw dropped. 

Min was the one that squeaked, face covered by his hands in shock. 

“Did you just fucking leap frog over Grace?” Ryan shouted in disbelief.

Kez agreed in a crescendo, “I think she fucking did!”

“Little Miss Hardcore!” Blake held up Turnip in a ‘cheers’ gesture.

“Unbelievable!” Lake shouted with their hands over their eyes.

“Woo! Go, Mikayla!” Jesse cheered as he pulled her in for a hug and spun her around, Tulip and Lake not too far behind them. She laughed and looked at her friends, surrounded by the love she put out in the world.

“You never told me you could do that!” Tulip said in shock, still reeling.

“I didn’t even know I could do that!” Mikayla giggled excitedly as she pulled away from Jesse.

“That was awesome!” Grace stood and reached to give her a double high five. “You were amazing, Mikayla!”

“Really?” Mikayla asked.

“Yeah! Stamina’s your wheelhouse. I think the rest of the team could learn a thing or two from you,” Grace winked. She turned to her three other friends. “You guys kept up pretty well, too. I’m impressed!”

“Yeah, I can’t believe Tulip did that well,” Lake quipped while elbowing Tulip. “It was nice seeing you get off the computer for once.”

“Shut up!” Tulip shoved Lake back. “You sound like mom.”

“Do not!” Lake argued.

“So…what did you guys think?” Mikayla asked expectantly.

“It was nice!” Jesse beamed.

“Yeah, it was cool seeing what you guys do,” Lake readily agreed.

Tulip quirked her mouth to the side while everyone waited for her response. “It was…fun.”

“So fun you’d wanna join me?” Mikayla asked playfully. She looked up at Grace. “If the invitation is open, of course.”

The conflicting emotions quieted to a stir, so Grace could take in things more clearly. Just like Grace could deal with the physical pains of doing the sport she loved, she could find a way to deal with the past if it meant seeing that bright smile on Mikayla’s face. “I won’t pressure either way,” Grace finally answered. “It’s a big commitment, so what do you say?”

“Well, I have my robotics team, which takes up a lot of time,” Tulip said. When Mikayla’s expression fell slightly, she rectified, “But…maybe I could see about next semester?”

“Yeah, I’m tied up with swim and Lake’s busy with that welding class at night, so I’m not sure we can commit,” Jesse said. “Sorry, we’ll try to make your games, though!”

“I appreciate the thought,” she smiled, then whirled her head to three sets of foot steps. Min-Gi, Ryan, and Kez stood in a tripod, metaphorical tails between their legs. Tulip immediately darted away to take her skates off, and Mikayla sighed at the action before facing her teammates.

“Mikayla,” Ryan started. “We’ve kind of been going through something that happened all of a sudden yesterday, and we didn’t wanna get you involved in our mess.”

“We shouldn’t have ignored it, because it ended up hurting you,” Kez continued.

“The three of us still need to talk, but, we, um…hope you can forgive us,” Min fumbled on his words.

“We’re sorry we shut you out,” Grace finished, putting a hand on her shoulder. “And for upsetting your friends.” Mikayla looked back at Grace, and then at her teammates. Their eyes were pools of sorrow, all pouting in their own unique ways. After a moment, Mikayla held out her arms. “Group hug?”

Everyone hesitated a moment, looking at one another with uncertainty before they reached for Mikayla. Everyone cocooned around one another, nearly toppling over before righting themselves and laughing, lightening the severity of what just happened.

“I won’t brush you off,” Kez mumbled.

“I won’t snap at you if I’m angry,” Ryan promised.

A beat of silence, and then a yelp from Min. “Hey!”

“Your turn!” Ryan scolded with a dubious glance.

“I-I-” Min became tongue-tied before settling on, “I’ll try not to be so patronizing.”

“And I won’t push you out, especially if I need help.” Grace looked directly at Mikayla, who was now beaming. “It’s a rule.”

“Hey,” Lake put up a single hand as they walked over with Jesse, disbanding the group hug. “Listen, about what happened with Tulip, it was nothing personal, she just can’t handle being around fights sometimes.”

“It’s fine, I don’t think anyone enjoys them,” Min tried lightly.

“No, I mean yeah, but,” Lake groaned. “Our parents are divorced.”

“Oh,” Min gaped, staring at his shoes. “Sorry.”

“What, no! It’s fine, I mean they were awful for each other. I’m glad they split, I was sick of hearing them fight,” they countered dryly. “But Tulip took it really hard, especially since our mom is dating someone new now. She was starting to get used to it, but ever since classes started, she’s just been in her room ignoring everyone.”

“Lake, be nice!” Mikayla scolded.

“It’s true! She doesn’t answer anybody’s texts, it’s not fair. You don’t see me doing that.” Opening her mouth, Mikayla stopped short, unsure of how to do that. “Anyways, maybe we could nudge her into doing this more, she seems to like it. And…” Lake patted Mikayla on the shoulder. “This seems to be good for you too, Mikayla. I can’t wait to see you in action!”

“Thanks!” Mikayla smiled before her gaze wandered to Tulip. “I’m gonna check on her, thank you so much for coming!” She gave Lake and then Jesse a hug each.

“We’ll see you at the dorm!” Lake said, and then locked eyes with Grace. For a moment she thought she had been caught.. “You’re a…pretty good captain.”

“Oh. Thanks,” Grace reeled. “You’re not a bad player yourself.” She began to skate towards the benches when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she found Jesse reaching out to her.

“Hey, before we leave, can I talk to you?” he asked.

“Uh, sure!” They both walked into a secluded area by the water fountains. “What’s up?”

“Look, I know you’re working hard to get this team off the ground,” Jesse began. “But I don’t want Mikayla to get hurt.”

Grace shifted uncomfortably. “Well, while she might get bruised a little bit, but we always take precautions while playing-”

“No, no, that’s not what I mean,” he interrupted. “See, awhile back, Lake and I almost joined this roller derby team, but the people there weren’t…the nicest. They kept trying to exclude Lake, and I wasn’t gonna tolerate that.” His eyes became stony, and Grace began to feel the weight of them on her shoulders.

“The last thing I would want is to hurt Mikayla, or anyone,” Grace asserted, fully honest.

“I know, sorry I just…” Jesse sighed, rubbing a hand on his face. “I think Mikayla’s been having a hard time, and this team is all she talks about so…don’t push her too hard. Please?”

The concern on Jesse’s face was one Grace had become familiar with. “I promise.”

Relieved, Jesse nodded. “Okay, I’ll see you.” He turned and met Lake at the door, calling to both Mikayla and Tulip. “See you at the dorm!” Grace stared at the door long after it shut, the image of the two of them burning in her mind. 

“Grace? Grace!” 

“Huh? What?” Grace startled, not realizing Mikayla was shaking her shoulder.

“I was asking if you wanted to come with us to get a bite,” she asked. “Tulip’s coming, and the other three are gonna join up after they talk.”

“Oh! Sure,” she shook the memories out of her head. “What were you thinking?”

A sly grin crept on Mikayla’s face. “Somewhere I know we can get a good deal.”

“What are you doing?” the recruit shouted angrily. His friend was being dragged to the middle of the rink floor, kicking and screaming to be let go while the dog was being dragged out by a makeshift leash. Other Apex kids were lining up, crouching in a prepared stance.

“Don’t worry, this is the wheeling,” the second-in-command assured him with a hand on his shoulder. “When you’re part of the Apex, the Apex takes care of you.”

“Stop it!” he snapped, swatting away the hand on his shoulder. “Tell me exactly what you’re doing to my friend. Now!”

“The wheeling is our final winning move for each bout. All the skaters pummel through the pack at once, not holding back,” the captain nonchalantly explained. “It’s how the nulls become null. And this way, they can’t hinder you anymore.”

“I-What?” His confused demeanor vanished, voice bellowing in rage. “What is wrong with you?! Get your hands off them!”

“Think about what you’re doing,” the captain reminded him sternly.

“Don’t tell me what to do. I’m not going to be part of anything like this, in or out of camp! I’m done with you!” He scowled. “And anyone else like you.” Grunting, the punk threw off the Apex kids and the ex-recruit waved his arms and yelled in retaliation before removing the mutt’s leash. He embraced them, and the captain felt a flash of disappointment.

“You know, I tried to do it the easy way, but you made it hard. If you let the nulls take advantage of you, they will,” the captain glowered, but neither of the teens faltered. “You’ll thank me for this later.” She opened her phone and searched a few moments before dialing a number. “Hello, yes? I think I saw a few of your campers walking around with a stray dog?” The boy’s face paled, and the punk angrily reached up for her phone before she knocked them down effortlessly.

“Stop it!” they screamed.

The captain grinned coldly as the voice on the other end of the line clamored. “Yup, that’s them! Near the closed down mall. Byeeee!” She clicking her phone off and regarded the boy only.

“Now you have a choice. Never come back here, or you stay for the wheeling, and I’ll call the counselors back.” Looking at each other in a frenzy, the two teens and mutt scampered off, slamming the doors after them. The captain sighed, “I can’t believe he left.”

“He was weak,” the second-in-command said contemptuously.

“He wasn’t weak, he was lost.”

“But-”

“We just lost another kid,” the captain walked away. In a way she was sad she couldn’t help someone else by adding him to her ranks, all because he was hung up on someone who’d never fit the Apex criteria. “Show some respect.”

“Mikayla! Tulip!” a boisterous woman with rosy red cheeks exclaimed when the team walked into the pizzeria. She walked around the counter and pushed the beehive out of her eyes. “Girls, lovely to see you!”

“Hi, Nancy,” Mikayla and Tulip said in unision, taking turns greeting Nancy with a kiss on each cheek.

“How has school been for you girls?” The lady crooned. “Are you eating enough? You look so skinny, Tulip!”

“We’re eating plenty, Nancy,” Tulip assured her.

“And I wanted to introduce you to one of my school friends! This is Grace,” Mikayla guided Grace to the front to face the woman. “She’s the captain of a school sports club I’m in.”

“Sports, eh?” Nancy said. “You have quite the active girl on your team, Miss Grace. Mikayla worked here this summer, and she ran all over the place! Waiting, bussing, hosting, delivering, she was our girl!”

Mikayla hunched her shoulders. “I’m still sorry about quitting-”

“Nuh-uh-uh!” Nancy hushed her. “You focus on the school first! Now, time to get you three a table! Come on, mangiare!” She quickly ushered them to a table.

“We’re waiting on three more people, too,” Grace pointed out.

Nancy put her hands on her hips. “You are quite the popular girls! I’ll get you some garlic bread, on me, no I don’t wanna hear it! I’ll be back, enjoy!” She bustled off, leaving the three of them alone.

“She seems…energetic,” Grace commented.

“Yeah, she really likes us because Mikayla worked here last summer and I fixed the computer software for the orders,” Tulip shrugged. 

“Mikayla are you from here?” Grace asked.

“No, I actually moved here a while ago,” Mikayla answered. “My parents move a lot for work, so I’ve lived a couple places, including Minnesota, where I met Tulip!”

“Oh, you guys were friends! That’s nice.”

“Yeah, I remember in sixth grade we were waiting for our bus, and I was hungry and Tulip gave me her snacks, which were raw onions!” Mikayla guffawed.

“She thought I was pranking her, so I had to eat them to prove I wasn’t lying!” Tulip popped in. “You couldn’t handle my palette.”

“Yeah, ‘cause it’s gross.”

“Sophisticated!”

“Fancy word for gross!” The two of them continued to laugh together, slipping into an easy rhythm as if they’ve been doing it since forever. A new type of Mikayla came out when she spoke with Tulip, someone that was hidden under a shy exterior from when she quietly entered the gym for their first club meeting.

“Well, it’s nice your friendship lasted through high school and college,” Grace commented.

“Oh, we didn’t talk in high school,” Mikayla said, and Tulip’s smile vanished. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine. Your parents moved, you couldn’t control it,” Tulip responded shortly. “Things change. It’s whatever.”

Grace sensed tension, and attempted to soften the mood blow. “So, how did you reunite?”

“It’s kind of a funny story actually,” Mikayla answered again, relieved. “Tulip and Lake bumped into me while I was at work when they came for college visits, and we were able to get back in touch. Lake and Jesse met at this sleep-away summer camp, and when we found out we were all going to the same school, we decided to room together. We were able to get a dorm the summer prior to classes starting since everyone was moving from far away.” She smiled softly at Tulip. “And I feel like we got even closer then.”

Eyes widened behind Tulip’s glasses, once again tongue-tied. “Yeah…” she lingered before coughing. “I’m gonna, uh, use the bathroom. Be right back.” She gave finger guns before awkwardly scrambling away.

Mikayla sighed, “She’s always deflecting when I try to get sentimental.”

“I don’t think it’s personal, if it makes you feel better,” Grace assured her. “Some people have trouble caring head-on.”

“I guess so,” she muttered. The jingling of the door startled both of them, and they jolted to see Kez, Ryan, and Min-Gi enter the restaurant, looking confused. Mikayla shot a hand up, and Min caught her eye, leading the trio towards the table. “You made it!” she greeted excitedly.

“Hey, sorry we’re late,” Ryan said as he took a seat. “So, we get to talk with the infamous Tulip?”

Mikayla nearly choked on her water. “I’m sorry, infamous?”

“She does have a bit of a reputation on campus,” Kez pointed out. “Like I hear she eats raw onions…like apples!”

“Well I heard she said the robotics teacher’s code sucked,” Min added and paused for emphasis. “To her face!”

“Well I heard that she works at the video game store next to the comic shop, and when someone came in to make some money off his old Nintendo DS, she bought every single game except his mint copy of Nintendogs,” Ryan finished with a huff. The entire table was stunned into silence.

Mikayla clapped her hands together. She pointed at Ryan-“I think you’re just salty”-then at Min-“someone might be exaggerating”-and finally at Kez-“…that one is actually true.”

“Seriously! You’re roommates with the most terrifying freshman on campus!” Min whispered worriedly. “She’s a computer science major too, those people scare me.”

“I thought she was fine,” Grace shrugged. She seemed introverted, sure, but nothing about Tulip read to her as threatening.

“Yeah, guys, you’re overreacting! Lake is the one everyone is scared of, Tulip is harmless,” Mikayla waved off. A basket of bread was placed in front of her, and she beamed. “Thank you, Nancy!”

“Of course! Ooh are these your friends? Oof, so skinny!” Nancy tutted. “We’ll have to get you some of my famous homemade pasta.”

Min began to sweat. “Uh, I don’t-”

“Ah, ah, ah! I take care of any friend of Mikayla’s!” she said. “Now, what do you like? Do you like fettucine alfredo? You look like an alfredo man.”

“Uhh-”

“We’ll get one to share, and then we’ll decide,” Mikayla answered for Min.

“Alright, I’ll take care of you!” Nancy smiled as she walked off.

“I’m not even that skinny,” Min grumbled.

“Trust me, she says everyone is skinny,” Tulip piped in from behind as she climbed back in her seat. “So, how are you all doing?”

“Fine. Haven’t played too many video games lately,” Ryan deadpanned.

Tulip squinted at him with confusion. “Okay…”

“She doesn’t remember him,” Grace whispered to Mikayla.

“Oh my god,” Mikayla murmured into her hands, mortified. Before the silence could get more awkward, Mikayla shot up. “Ooh! Tulip, there’s something I need to show you,” she exclaimed before rummaging through her backpack. Eventually she pulled out her sketchbook and thumbed through it before landing on a specific page. “There!”

Tulip gasped, “Good guys popping bad guys?!” She traced her fingers over the geometric logos. Contrasting hues of cadmium yellow and eggplant purple shone in the incandescent lights of the restaurant.

“Yup! I had to make a logo for my class so I did your game.”

“But you hate video games?”

“I do,” Mikayla admitted before flashing a toothy smile, “But I like yours.” Tulip spun her head into her hand. The nostalgia flower bloomed in Grace’s chest.

“Now how does a computer programmer and someone who hates video games become friends?” Grace rested her chin in her hands, intrigued.

The two of them looked at each other and faced Grace to answer in unison, “Anime.”

“Ooh, you two are nerds,” Kez said in a sing-song voice.

“Hey! I just like the complex metaphors and animation sequences!” Tulip said defensively.

“I like the art style,” Mikayla admitted, less offended. “The magic girl shows are my favorites.”

“Yeah, I haven’t watched much magic girl stuff, but Morgan and I…” Kez’s chatter soon died down, and she slumped on the table. “Nevermind.”

Grace frowned. “Is this about today?”

“Yeah, so,” Kez murmured, folding her hands with uncertainty. “To fill you in, my roommate kinda sorta kicked me out when another roommate of ours left, and when I tried to bring Ryan and Min over, she kinda flipped out on us, and I realized how much I screwed up-”

“Kez, no,” Min put a hand on her shoulder. “You were just trying to help your friend Jeremy, Morgan had no right to get mad at you for it.” He rubbed her back soothingly. “Some things might be your fault, but that? That’s not on you.”

Grace recalled hearing Morgan’s name before from the group of frat dudes that bothered Kez. “How’d you even meet Morgan?”

“Well, our families knew each other and ran this hotel business together. We worked at it and even lived in one of the big suites for a while, but the business got transferred to her and it’s been a lot on her shoulders. She felt like Jeremy was the only one that cared about her outside of that.” She sighed, “I think she’s stuck, but it’s like she doesn’t wanna move forward.”

“Maybe she doesn’t want to,” Tulip suggested. “Maybe it’s hard for her to move on from things because everything was better before.” The rest of the team stared awkwardly at the table, too afraid to say anything.

“Maybe she doesn’t,” Grace conceded. “It’s always easier to stay the same, but it doesn’t make it right to treat people that way.”

“Well, maybe if people understood why it’s so hard to keep going, it wouldn’t be so bad,” Tulip countered.

“You can’t understand someone out of being mean to you. Yeah, it sucks when something bad happens, but you can’t spend the rest of your life feeling sorry for yourself,” Grace continued. “Otherwise it can hurt you and the people you care about.”

Tulip blustered, “I-well-” A buzz interrupted her, and she shuffled her phone out of her hoodie pocket. “Augh! Surprise robotics meeting, gotta go!”

“This late at night?” Mikayla asked. “You didn’t even order.”

“I’ll eat at the dorm. Catch you later,” she brusquely stood up and nodded at everyone. “Nice meeting you all. Good luck with tryouts.”

“Okay, Well text me when you get…” Mikayla was halfway through her sentence when Tulip was out the door. “…back.” She deflated on the table, right when a plate of pasta was plopped at the center. 

“Well, she’s missing out,” Kez shrugged as she swallowed a forkful of pasta. “Oh, damn! This is good. Min, why don’t we go here to eat?”

“Money?” he mumbled.

“Oh. Right.” She shrugged and continued woofing down the pasta, Ryan and Min eventually joining in. Grace couldn’t bring herself to eat, stuck on Mikayla’s despondent expression.

“Hey, I’m sorry today didn’t go exactly how you wanted,” she apologized.

“Sorry none of my friends could join,” Mikayla returned. “I know we need a fifth person.”

Grace put a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, we’ll manage with four.”

“It’s not just that. My friends are busy these days, and…” she huffed. “I missed hanging out.”

Trilling her lips, Grace felt the nostalgia flower in her chest wither away. “Well,” Grace thought aloud, trying to conjure some inspiring words. Nothing came to mind, as more and more despondent thoughts slithered in, the should-have-would-have-could-haves.

But the slurping of pasta from her teammates brought her out again. “We could always hang out more.”

“Mhm?” Ryan finished chewing before looking up. “What’s that?”

“If you all want to, we can meet up outside of practice. Do non-derby stuff together,” Grace suggested. Everyone traded looks, and began to nod together.

“Yeah,” Mikayla was the one to speak up. “Yeah, that would be nice.”

“Yeah, reunion of the, uh,” Kez faltered off. “Roller skating club doesn’t sound right anymore.”

“We do need a team name when we compete,” Grace said thoughtfully while putting a finger on her chin. “Usually there’s a symbol or theme when you name a derby team.” 

“What should we name it?” Ryan asked.

“What about something with the cranes you’re always making?” Mikayla suggested, holding up a paper placemat folded into a bird shape. Grace inwardly cringed at herself; she didn’t even realize she had made it while they were eating dinner. “Maybe like roller cranes?”

“Eh, usually derby names have a bit more…” Grace held a fist up. “Punch?”

“Oh, like lyrics! Just gotta make it rhyme,” Ryan muttered to himself. “What rhymes with crane?”

“What about…gain! Like you gain points?” Kez offered loudly.

“Or maybe bane? Like the bane of your existence?” Mikayla wondered.

“Eh, not feeling it,” Grace said.

“Pain.” Everyone’s heads whipped to the answer’s source. Min was looking down at the table, doodling something idly on the place mat. It took a beat of silence for him to look up. “What?”

“Min-Gi Park.” Ryan said slowly, rising to his feet and placing his hands wide apart on the table. “That is BRILLIANT!” His thoughtful expression was now brightened with an enormous grin. Min flinched in surprise. “Dude you’re like, so good at this, now we just need a phrase. What about, crane threshold?”

“A little confusing,” Mikayla snorted. “And it sounds like a prog-rock band, not a team.”

Ryan scrunched his brow in disapointment. “Okay, crane in the ass?”

“Eugh! Too crass!” Min fake gagged.

He laughed at that one. “Alright, alright, hmm…phantom cranes?”

“Oooh, spooky,” Kez crooned before her shoulders dropped, eyes lost. “What’s that mean?”

“Like phantom pain, when you lose a limb but it still hurts?” Ryan explained.

“I think we’re getting a bit too abstract,” Grace said gently, putting her hands on Ryan’s shoulders, who pouted. “We need something catchy, but relatively easy to understand.” Ryan pursed his lips and looked at the ground. 

“What about…” Mikayla clicked her tongue, and a few seconds later, her head rose, eyes filled with clarity as if she just met a higher being. “The chronic cranes.”

Grace quirked an eyebrow. “Huh?”

“Chronic cranes, you know, like chronic pain.” Mikayla emphasized. “The kind that never goes away.”

“Oooh, nice!” Ryan crooned. “It’s got a nice zing to it”

“Yeah, and then we can be like, ‘you can’t get rid of us, bitch!’” Kez added.

“I think I have a better tagline,” Mikayla raised her hand shyly, and everyone looked intently at her. She cleared her throat, and dramatically glanced up with her chin tilted down. “Feel the crane.”

Kez and Ryan gasped dramatically, linking arms. “Feel the crane! Feel the crane!” They chanted together excitedly. 

“And!” Mikayla put up a finger. “The initials are CC, which is an alliteration and could look super cool on a logo!” 

“Mikayla, you’re so smart!” Ryan exclaimed while wrapping an arm around her. “Grace, this name is perfect.”

Grace fumbled, “Oh, I don’t know…”

“Come on, Grace n’ Glory, can we be the chronic cranes?” Kez hopped up to rest her chin on Mikayla’s shoulder. Grace opened her mouth to argue, but found all three skaters making puppy-dog eyes at her. 

“Pleeease?” the pleaded in unison. Grace glanced at Min, who only shrugged.

Finally, she sighed. “Alright, Chronic Cranes it is.” The entire group cheered, only cowering when a nearby table shushed them angrily. They giggled together mischieviously, Kez and Ryan scrambling to sit down and hush manically over one another.

“Grace, I’ll get the logo for the uniforms done as soon as I can,” Mikayla said eagerly.

“Wait, hold on, we don’t need uniforms until after tryouts,” Grace waved her hands. “Plus, I don’t wanna take up your time with school.”

“It’s okay, I could use it for a logo project in my graphic design class. And I think I can get some help on it,” she turned to Min and gave him a cheeky wink. He looked up just in time, swiveling his head to see if she was looking anywhere else.

“Okay, if that’s what you want,” Grace conceded. Mikayla turned to sit back down, but Grace found her voice again before she could. “And thank you, Mikayla.”

Mikayla smiled warmly back. “Thanks for letting me help.” She joined the rest of the table, laughing over flying bread crusts and crinkled place mats. The folded paper shape still held most of Grace’s attention, feeling the sharp creases with her fingers.

“They seem happy,” Grace said, more to herself.

“Yeah,” Min said, a trace of doubt in his voice.

“Hey, it’s gonna be great,” she encouraged him with an elbow, and he only returned a soft chuckle as he continued scribbling on his place mat. Seeing her teammates chatter excitedly with one another, she believed what she said, but for the first time, she felt it wasn’t because of her. 

Chapter Text

Snow had come early that year. The four of them were spending time in the rink, getting the protegee used to her skates, when it was announced that the cars were getting buried in the snow outdoors, so the rink was closing early. Unfortunately, that included the van of the protegee’s guardian.

The second-in-command seemed militant on keeping warm, only to turn around and throw a snowball right at the captain. She burst into giggles, and he followed in suit. It was nice seeing his goofy side.

Soon the snowball fight was in full swing, the second-in-command taking on the other three. The captain swiftly threw the snow ball in a perfect line, only to notice a piece of paper fell out of her pocket. Curious, she knelt down to pick it up, only to feel a different kind of chill as she recognized what it was.

The protegee was pelted in the face with a snowball, falling flat on her back. She looked up in shock, and then burst into a fit of giggles. The captain laughed in suit, helping her up, but then drifted back to thinking about the note. It clouded her senses, she heard ‘the big one’, something something, ‘armistice’, something something, ‘lodge’, something something-

“Hey!”

“Wha-?” The captain snapped her head upwards, realizing her second-in-command was looking for direction. “Oh! Let’s go to the lodge…” Her voice faded as they trudged along in the snow.

The lodge was built like a cabin, round logs of the building collecting frost as the blizzard continued. When they managed to push the doors open, everyone shook off their ill equipped clothing.

“Tch, the first vacation I take in years, and I have to deal with tourists.” A blonde woman lifted her reading glasses irritably.

The captain gasped in recognition. “Not you!”

The woman rose. “I don’t know what you think this is but-”

A strangled noise came out of the second-in-command’s throat. The woman froze, staring in recognition. He glowered.

She relented. “Well, I suppose you could stay for a bit.”

“We’re gonna do a little exercise today,” Grace said as she dramatically dropped her skate bag in the middle of the floor, facing her three skaters. “This is going to be a fallen skater. We can’t always go around people when they fall down.” She skated backwards in a loop, still facing the others. “So we have to jump over them to keep up.” The end of the sentence was punctuated with a leap over the skate bag. “I want to warm you guys up to that, okay?”

Mixed versions of ‘yes’ came from all of her team members, eager to get practice started.

“Alright, do some laps first, but ONLY jump when you feel absolutely ready. We don't want any dog piles in the middle of a bout.” She clapped her hands. “Let’s get to it!”

The jumps were of mixed quality. Kez needed a couple laps before being able to make the jump; Grace scribbled a note in her book that plays lower to the ground might work better for her. Mikayla was the obvious star jumper since the previous week’s practice; her only note was not to use all her energy jumping too high. Ryan was struggling a little, as he barely managed to leap an inch over the bag. The second time he jumped, he used the wall for support.

“You can’t use the wall to do that, you know,” Blake called, sitting atop the skate rental counter and petting Turnip. “The only support you can use is from other members of your own team.”

“What?” Ryan complained in a pitchy voice. “How would you even know?”

“Well.” Blake leaned back against the wall. “I did dabble in derby for a bit.”

“You were a roller derby skater?!” Kez crowed in disbelief as she finished her jump.

“Derby referee, actually,” he corrected, a nostalgic grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I was the one making sure everyone followed the rules. Sure, I did get shit for some of my calls, but it was fun for a while.”

“Well, why’d you stop?” Grace inquired. While she knew Blake avoided roller derby, it never occurred to her to ask why. And then she was struck with the realization that she didn’t really know Blake outside of class.

Light flickered off of Blake’s eyebrow piercing as he sighed in reminiscence. “Well, there was this brutal game, and the winning team was banging up the others left and right. Eventually it broke out into a fist fight, but when I tried to break it up…” He paused petting Turnip to clench his fist. “My rat fell out of my pocket and ran off.”

“Turnip?” Mikayla clarified before making her next leap.

“No, Turnip I got way later. This was Radish,” he sighed. “I tried to grab her, but she scampered away into the cracks in the walls. And because I was distracted, the fight got even worse, and a couple of players got permanently injured.” Blake cast his eyes into space, and Grace felt her stomach churn. “I never saw Radish again, and I never refereed since.”

“Oh, no. I’m sorry, Blake,” Mikayla consoled, slowing her pace.

“Yeah, it probably sucks the rat’s last few years were spent lost in the derby walls.” Kez shook her head sadly.

“Kez,” Ryan said, warning in his tone.

“What?” She gave him a clueless look. “Rats only live, like, 2-3 years.”

Blake rolled his eyes. “Woah, way to rub it in.”

“WHAT?!” Mikayla choked out, grief-stricken. “That’s so short!”

“What? Everything dies.” Kez shrugged. “You’ll probably outlive me ‘cause you’re  younger and junk.”

“Kez!” Ryan’s admonishment was interrupted by Mikayla whimpering, head in her hands. Immediately he shifted to hold Mikayla by the shoulders. “Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay! Kez just…says things sometimes.”

“Yeah, I say a lot of things!” Kez agreed as she skated over, giving Mikayla an awkward hug from her short height. “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad about our inevitable demise.”

“Okay! Enough death talk for one day!” Grace interrupted loudly. While it was quite comical seeing the types of banter her teammates would engage in, she figured she should butt in once in a while so nothing could get too out of hand.

“Hey, Grace?” Min coughed from the bleachers. Grace turned to find him shifting from foot to foot, hands shoved deep in his jacket pockets. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

“Oh! Um, yeah. Keep jumping, you three,” Grace instructed everyone before following Min to the empty snack bar. Once they were secluded from the main group, Grace turned and looped her thumbs on the strap of her fanny pack. “What’s up?”

“Well, uh, about last week.” Min rubbed the back of his neck.

“I wouldn’t sweat it.” Grace waved a hand. “It seems like everyone is getting along now.”

“Yeah, but they’re not competing right now.” He averted his eyes to the floor. “What if training just escalates arguments between everyone?”

She squinted at him. “Min, what are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying,” he paused and sucked in a deep breath before making eye contact with Grace again. “I’m not sure this team is a good idea anymore.”

The wind was knocked out of Grace’s lungs.

“What?” Grace gaped in disbelief. “Min, I thought you were with me on this.”

“I am! Well, I was, but I’ve been reading articles about roller derby, and some of the injuries are real gnarly,” Min explained. “Like this one lady from Chicago, she fell backwards onto somebody’s toe stop, and it snapped her neck and she lost use of both her legs and arm for a while.”

She stared at him for a few moments. “Min, that is so fucking improbable.”

“But not impossible!” Grace rolled her eyes as Min held up a finger to continue. “And you heard what Blake said about that fist fight in the rink. It even turned him off from it.”

An icy chill ran through Grace’s veins. “Blake is different, he’s just a referee.”

“Exactly! He’s less involved in the action than the players, which means they’re more likely to get injured!” He rubbed his temples, pushing a stray strand of hair back. “Look, I just don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

“And you think I do?”

“No! I’m just-” Min cut himself off when his voice pitched upward, recomposing himself. “I’m just concerned this will be too much for them.”

Grace huffed in disbelief. “Wow. I can’t believe you.” She glared at him. “You criticized me for saying the same thing about Kez when we started.” The two stewed under the dim glow of the red neon lights, not saying another word.

“Hey.” Min and Grace whipped their heads around to find none other than Blake standing there. “Hate to break up your little heart-to-heart or whatever, but you might wanna see this.” Giving each other an incredulous look, they followed Blake to whatever was happening on the main rink floor.

The three of them were still practicing jumps, but the obstacle in the middle of the floor wasn’t Grace’s skate bag anymore. It was Mikayla herself.

She laid there nonplussed as Kez and Ryan expertly soared over her. While Grace’s heart swelled with pride, she felt Min flinch beside her.

“My turn!” she called while sitting up. Ryan crouched down mid-stride to roll over onto the floor. After gaining some momentum, Mikayla leaped over Ryan. She gained speed as she hurtled towards Kez, but instantaneously Kez crouched down and Mikayla pushed off her back in a jump most of the members of Grace’s old cheerleading squad could only dream of doing.

“Woo! Look at you, crazy legs!” Kez grabbed Mikayla’s hands to spin the two of them in a circle.

“You think that’s allowed in the game?” Mikayla asked.

“Who cares? That was awesome!” Ryan agreed as he threw his arms around both their shoulders.

“Well, maybe let's try one of the official moves?” She suggested as she picked up the derby rule book that tumbled out of Grace’s bag. “How about…the leg whip?”

After a few moments of looking at the book, Mikayla and Ryan skated ahead, hand in hand. As Kez caught up with them, Ryan kicked his leg out for her to grab onto. Mikayla finished the move with a hard turn that shot Kez further ahead in the track. The three of them giggled and cheered, raining high fives on each other.

“They’re having fun.” Grace softened at the sight of her team, then looked up at Min with pleading eyes. “Why can’t you see that?”

“It’s not that I don’t,” Min argued quietly. “It’s just-”

“Grace! Min!” Kez waved. “Did you see us?”

“We did! That was great, you guys,” Grace said, pointedly ignoring Min. “You think you’re ready to learn some more official moves?”

“Yeah! I can’t wait ‘til we actually play!” Ryan did a little dance on his skates. “Maybe we can make up our own moves, too!”

Grace scoffed. “Let’s learn the basics first, Crash,” She teased as she flicked the hair framing Ryan’s face.

“But we can make up our own moves too, right?” Mikayla’s eyes widened with glee. “That way we can have a thing!”

“Ooooh! Maybe you can combine your old cheerleader stuff with skating stuff,” Kez suggested, gesturing wildly. “Like how you do that catch when they throw you in the air.”

Grace raised an eyebrow dubiously. “We will not be throwing each other in the air here.”

“But if we did, or if a skater was like, falling to their death, what would we do?” Kez’s gray eyes shimmered brightly with curiosity. Ryan and Mikayla were not too far behind, giving the same look.

“Alright, but just this once.” The rest of the skaters cheered in whispers. “Blake, you wanna volunteer for a demonstration?”

“The fuck I do,” Blake sassed.

“Please, Blake?” Mikayla pleaded. “We’d really appreciate it if you helped.”

Blake blinked and let out a low exhale. “Okay, fine.” He brusquely leaped off the counter, dropping Turnip in Min-Gi’s arms. “Hold him.”

“Oh! Um, okay.” Min fumbled with the rat for a second, trying to keep a firm grip on him.

“Okay, so we basically have to interlock arms to cradle the person who’s falling, like this.” Grace demonstrated by reaching out to hook arms with Ryan, and Kez and Mikayla followed suit. “Blake, can you give me a trust fall?”

“Sure can,” he said indifferently, letting himself fall backwards. The team caught him easily, the locking of their arms making a soft catch.

“Great!” Grace said.

“Can we try like, an actual fall?” Kez asked, wiggling excitedly.

“Hmm,” Grace hummed as her eyes wandered to Min. Stern brown eyes attempted to dissuade her. A smirk crept on her lips. “If Blake is okay with it, sure.”

“I don’t care.” Blake shrugged, climbing on top of the rink wall without a second thought.

“I’m not sure we should be doing this,” Min blurted out. As if he didn’t say anything, Blake tipped backwards on the wall. Shrieking, Min rushed forward. “WAIT!”

The team launched into action, interlocking together more forcefully this time. The weight of Blake was more apparent, and Grace briefly grunted before pushing him back onto his feet along with the others.

“Woah! Easy, there,” Grace gasped a chuckle. “I’ve never actually done that on skates.”

“See? The other teams won’t know how to react, roller or cheer,” Kez pointed out.

“You’ll at least make the cheer girls all jealous,” Ryan joked.

“They already should be,” Blake added. “They don’t have a Mikayla on their team.”

“Blake! What a nice thing to say!” Mikayla said with a smile. 

The rest of them continued bantering. Grace threw her head back laughing, and accidentally caught Min’s eye. His face was still twisted in a sour frown, Turnip wriggling in his arms. The expression was infectious and spread to Grace.

“Oh, Min!” Mikayla moved away from the group to approach him. “I forgot to ask, did you get my texts for the thing?”

“What? Oh! No I haven’t really checked my phone lately, sorry,” Min answered, slightly absent.

“Well, can you when you get a chance? I really wanna get it finished before tryouts.”

Discomfort made itself home in Min’s features. “Oh, uh, I guess? I can’t promise anything.”

“Min, are you okay?” Ryan asked, wiping his brow. “You can talk to us if something’s up.”

“Yeah, you’ve been quiet all practice,” Kez pointed out.

“I’m fine, really. Just busy with school,” Min mumbled, quickly passing Turnip back to Blake. “I really should be doing homework.” He quickly retrieved his backpack, fumbling to find a piece of schoolwork to further avoid looking at anyone.

While Grace was annoyed by Min’s lack of confidence in the team, a pang of sadness thrummed through her chest.

“Min, wait.” He bit his lip as he looked up at Grace. “Before you get busy, why don’t we…plan our next team get together?”

“Oooh, yeah!” Mikayla clapped her hands. “Lake is going with Jesse to his swim meet this weekend, so I’m wide open.”

“We could go to a party together! I’m a pro at those things,” Ryan added with a cocky hand wave. “It could be our team introducing ourselves to the world.”

“Yeah! Chronic Cranes debut!” Kez said. She hopped in the air, skates clacking loudly against the floor in a way that made Grace flinch. 

“You know, I don’t know if it’s still there,” Blake said idly as he let Turnip climb his shoulders. “But I know there’s a skate park where derby players hang out. One of their houses is next door too, so they have killer parties after games on Saturdays.” He pursed his lips. “Not that I can go, I work on Saturdays.”

“Maybe we should save the debut for when we actually skate,” Grace suggested, not fully feeling ready to be seen yet (or more accurately, be recognized). “But, I think that sounds perfect.” She threw on a knowing smile, and then tossed her head towards Min. “Min-Gi? Will you be joining?”

“Oh!” Min clenched his pen tightly in his fist. “I don’t know if I should since I’m not a skater.”

“Just because you’re not a skater doesn’t make you not one of us,” Mikayla pointed out. “You’re an honorary Chronic Crane!”

“Yeah, we need you to complete the party crew!” Kez whooped. It looks like the team was doing Grace’s job for her. Not that she couldn’t convince Min to come on his own, of course; having numbers just helped was all.

Min huffed with a wry smile, shaking his head. “Not really.”

“Dude, we totally do!” Ryan held out his hands emphatically. “It wouldn’t be a party without you.” A moment after finishing the sentence, his face turned pink. He rubbed the back of his neck. “But it’s really up to you.”

The hardness melted from Min’s eyes into doubt. His gaze flicked between all the team members, starting and then ending at Ryan. Grace was afraid he would push them out again.

“It’ll be a nice break from school.” Grace glided towards him, holding out a hand. “So what do you say?”

“The snow is too heavy, we have to hunker down!” The captain scolded irritably. Luckily the protegee and her guardian stepped away to order some tea.

“And stay with her?” The second-in-command said incredulously. “You know what adults are like.”

“So we’ll figure things out!” She turned around to the store counter. “I’m gonna collect supplies.”

“But what am I-”

“I don’t know, am I supposed to make every decision for you?” The captain snapped, annoyed that everything had to fall on her shoulders. “Go…look for something.” He grunted, sulking away with a few hard stomps. The doctor’s note burned in her pocket, making her feel on edge. She needed space, but couldn’t get it with him hovering over her shoulder all the time.

“I told you to stay away!” She heard an angry yell, pulling her away from the supply counter. Following the sound, she found the second-in-command standing between the protegee and the blond woman in front of the fireplace.

“Why can’t I talk to her?” the protegee asked.

The whistle of a kettle shrieked as his own hurt boiled over. “Because she abandoned me!” He slammed a fist into the wall, and the kettle’s whistle petered out.

He inhaled. “She was with me before the Apex. My parents sent me away for school, and she came with me to watch out for me. It was like you two.” A tear pricked the protegee’s eyes, and she leaned into her guardian’s hold.

“And after a few months of helping me,” he said with contempt. “She left me alone to get picked on.”

The woman reached out for him apologetically. He swiped her away. “Am I wrong? Did you leave me or not!?”

The woman looked away. “You’re not…wrong.”

“I was ten years old! I was a child! And you left me to a wild animal! If the captain didn’t find me, I don’t know what would have happened to me.” He swirled around to the captain, causing her to flinch. “But what’s with you! Every minute I’m in here is like a weight pressing down on my chest.” A fist curled on is sternum for emphasis. He looked at her, and it felt like a bomb dropped on her.

“And you don’t even seem to care.”

“Remind me why we’re here again?” Min muttered to Grace.

“To assure you that roller derby players aren’t all mindless brutes.” 

Right as Grace finished her sentence, a skater went airborne into another partygoer, sending them flying over a ping pong table.

Min narrowed his eyes as the two of them watched the spectacle. “Right…”

“Come on, that’s no different than a regular college party,” Grace deflected. She tucked away the strings of her sunset-colored, short-sleeved blouse that matched her burgundy harem pants. While the summer heat was fizzling away, she figured the heat of the party would be enough to keep her warm.

“Yeah, college parties that I never go to,” Min reminded her, fiddling with the sleeve of his white and green pinstripe shirt. It clashed horribly with the blue windbreaker tied around his waist, but he insisted it would get cold later.

“Besides, I wanted to celebrate how much progress we’ve made.” Grace nudged Min’s elbow with a side eye, bracelets heavily clinking together. She wore her typical golden bangles to match her earrings, but kept on a single expired glow bracelet. There was no reason for her to keep it, it was a dull pink, but…it felt special for tonight. “And not just on skates.”

Min raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“Min.” She pulled up her phone to show the email she had just received. “I’m on my way to getting off academic probation!”

“What? That’s amazing, Grace!” he exclaimed as he scrolled through the email. “No more volunteer hours or anything?”

“Nope, I just have to finish my fall classes and then we’ll have a meeting at the end of the semester to square things up!” She felt herself become giddy, waving her hands back and forth. “They might even let me back on cheer squad, and I can go to state!”

“That’s awesome, I’m so happy for you!” Spotting the drink table where their friends congregated, Min began to bound toward them. “Let’s meet the others and toast to this.”

“WOAH! Slow down.” Grace slid in front of Min, blocking his path. “We don’t need to tell them all that.”

Min titled his head in confusion. “Why not? They’d be happy for you.”

“Yeah, but,” Grace lowered her voice to a whisper. “Do we really need to tell them I wasn’t doing great in the first place?”

Giggles erupted not five feet away from them, and they turned away from each other and towards their three friends.

“I keep telling you,” Kez’s volume carried across the ruckus of the party. “Pineapple on pizza is not that bad!”

“It is too!” Ryan argued as he stuck out his tongue in disgust. “You don’t put something that sweet with fucking tomato sauce!”

“Well, let’s ask the pizza expert.” Kez smugly turned towards Mikayla. “What’s your opinion, Kayla Bayla?”

“Don’t have one.” Mikayla held up her hands apologetically. “I’m allergic to pineapple.”

“Ha! So it proves my point that putting it on pizza is worse!” Ryan pointed with vindication, and Kez gasped in mock offense as Mikayla failed to control her giggles.

 Min pushed his hair back. “I don’t think they’re going to judge you for it, if that’s what you’re scared of.”

“I’m not scared, it’s just…” The seed of doubt wedged in Grace’s brain never seemed to budge. Not every bit of dirty laundry needed to be exposed, and Grace still had some problems working out in the washer. “I’ll figure out how to tell them on my own. Just don’t say anything in the meantime, okay?”

Inhaling, Min gave her an empathetic nod. “Okay, I won’t.”

Grace’s smile grew more comfortable on her face. “Now let’s have some fun.” She spun on her heels to approach her other teammates.

“Hey, slowpokes!” Ryan waved widely. The unzipped sleeves of a wine-colored jacket clinked against the table he leaned against. His hair was pushed back, showing off his multiple ear piercings, olive green t-shirt, and black twine necklaces.

“I’m not the one that took us in circles for 20 minutes,” Grace teased back. “That was our cowgirl over here.”

“Hey, lay off the threads, Graceless! I got it on sale,” Kez said defensively as she grabbed the edges of her silver cowboy hat. It had matched her literal star-studded bell bottoms and shiny jacket, rhinestone fringed sleeves jingling as she moved. “Besides, I was just getting a feel for the area.”

Min leaned between Grace and Mikayla. “That’s Kez speak for she got lost,” he whispered, getting the two girls to giggle.

“I’ve never been to a party like this before,” Mikayla mused. The sleeves of her pink bearskin jacket fell to her elbows. Paintings of flowers covered the skirt of her denim dress where it laid over a yellow t-shirt. She twirled a lock of hair where it curled behind her rose-patterned headband. “What do we do?”

“Well, I think we should start by getting drinks,” Grace proposed, grabbing some plastic cups on the sidebar.

“Wait!” Kez took a cup and poured a splash of punch from the drink dispenser labeled ‘non-alcoholic’ and handed it to Ryan. “Alcohol check?”

He took a swig and gave a thumbs up. “All clear!”

“Nice! Thanks for looking out, Ry-guy!”

“I’ll take some of that, too.” Mikayla put her cup under the same dispenser as Kez while Grace, Ryan and Min poured from the clearly labeled spiked jug.

“Alright.” Grace held up her cup. “To the Chronic Cranes!”

“Feel the crane!” Mikayla added.

“Can’t get rid of us,” Ryan supplied.

“…Bitch?” Kez finished for him, and laughter sputtered as the plastic cups clacked towards the middle. Grace sipped her drink before watching Min. While a smile was pressed onto his face, his eyes were clearly elsewhere and darted around uncomfortably. She drank a little more, hoping she was just seeing things.

“Woof! That’s kinda zingy,” Mikayla commented after sipping her drink.

“Really? I don’t taste anything weird.” Kez swirled around her cup to see if anything got in her drink.

“Now who are you five?” A voice rang from behind them. Nearly choking on her drink, Grace quickly lowered her cup and tugged a golden face mask over her nose.

She turned to face two adults with their arms slung around one another. One had circular glasses and white hair with a tint of blue. The other had enormous gray hair pulled back in a braid, the arm not around her partner hanging by her hips with a golden hook at the end.

“We just heard there was a party, and that’s what we’re here to do,” Grace answered curtly, eying them suspiciously.

“Then you’ve come to the right place!” the blue-haired one said. “Especially if you’re roller skaters.”

“We are!” Mikayla bubbled up, and Grace flinched. “We’re the Chronic Cranes.”

“Oooh, zippy! I like it.” The hook-handed one clicked her tongue. “But I’ve never seen you compete before. Say, what are your names?”

Grace refused to answer, so Min cleared his throat. “Well, I’m Min-Gi, and this is-”

“Pfft! No, nah, nah, nah, your derby names,” the hook lady said. Everyone stared at her blankly. “You know, your roller derby names?”

“Are they like stage names?” Ryan asked.

“Sort of, yeah. I’m Acid Paine with an E at the end, and this is Owl Play.” The blue haired one-or Acid Paine-smiled. “Well, I’m guessing if you don’t have derby names, you’re not here to help plan the travel tournament.”

“Wait, there’s derby travel teams?” Kez popped in.

“Oh sure!” Owl Play said. “You meet and compete with teams across the country, and once a year there’s Roller Con in Vegas.”

“Roller Con?” Mikayla squealed.

“Vegas?” Ryan echoed.

“Yeah! You meet up once a year to discuss new rules in the big leagues. There’s also derby weddings, mix and matching teams, and of course, the Black and Blue Ball.”

“Ball?” Min cocked his head. “Like a dance?”

“OOOH? DO WE GET TO WEAR FANCY DRESSES?” Mikayla jumped and shook Grace by the shoulders. “Grace, we should try this!”

“Yeah, this sounds super fun!” Ryan beamed.

“Can we try it? Pleaaase?” Kez begged.

Grace’s hands went clammy. “Um-”

“WHY HELLO THERE!”

“Oh my god!” Grace jumped, hunched over to see a massive woman looming over them. Tattoos circled her bald head, and she waved her toned, muscular arms with a bright smile.

“Woah.” Kez drifted towards her, eyes moony and wide. “You’re like, super buff.”

“THANK YOU, FELLOW SKATER! I AM MINNIE ROUNDHOUSE.” For some reason the woman continued shouting. “I ENJOY YOUR SPARKLING ATTIRE!”

“Well, I love to dazzle,” Kez chuckled nervously. She threw a loose strand of fabric from her hijab over her shoulder.

“I ENJOY THAT PHRASE. LET’S DAZZLE!” The woman-Minnie Roundhouse-repeated. She playfully punched Min in the shoulder, but it was clearly a lot heavier than she intended. He winced and smiled politely, sweat glistening off his forehead.

“Minnie, relax.” A middle aged man came from behind her to pat her shoulder. He was a foot shorter than her, scratching his graying stubble that was more fit for a substitute teacher than a roller derby skater. “You’re gonna scare the poor kids.”

She hunched over. “I AM SORRY, WAYNE BRUTE-TON! I WAS JUST SAYING HELLO.”

“We’re not kids!” Grace crowed, coming out a little pitchier than intended. Her stance widened defensively. “Look, I don’t know if you’re all cops or something, but if you’re here to kick us out-”

“Relax, kid! We’re not here to rat anyone out.” Owl Play lady rolled her eyes.

“Listen, I get it,” the grizzled man-Wayne Brute-Ton-said. “I scorned my elders back in my teen years, but we’re all players just like you. Just more seasoned, is all.”

Teen years? How old were these people? Peering around the party, Grace began to notice a pattern. Graying heads of hair and wrinkled smiles were littered throughout the crowd, people her own age few and far between.

“What league are you again?”

Acid Paine smiled. “We play at the Boil City Bank Track!”

It clicked what Grace was missing. “Ohhh, you’re the banked track league! Yeah, we’re in the flat track league,” Grace thankfully found an out.

“Oh! Are you in Locomotive City’s league?” Wayne asked. “I know a team who was gonna compete there this year. The Hornets, but their stuff got trashed after tryouts.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve never heard of them.” Grace brushed her hands against her pants. “Anyways, we’re so sorry to crash your party, we’ll leave immediately.”

“Hey, hold on!” Ryan held her back by the shoulder, pulling her to the side. “They seem pretty cool, why don’t we stay for a bit?”

Grace rubbed the back of her neck, trying to think of an excuse. “But they’re…authority figures! Do you really wanna hang with those?”

“Grace. I am a stick-it-to-the-man kind of person. However, in this case, the man is a bunch of cool people with a custom rink and killer drinks!” Ryan nudged her with a coy smile. “So why don’t we give it a shot?”

“Yeah, and it never hurts hanging with MILFs,” Kez agreed.

Grace raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you a little young for those?”

“Not really, I’m thirty.”

“Wait, WHAT?” Grace and Mikayla shouted in unison. Ryan and Min laughed, obviously in on the information. Once the laughter subsided, the two locked eyes before quickly tearing away from each other’s gaze.

“Yeah, what about it?” Kez sipped her cup nonchalantly.

Words got stuck in Grace’s throat for a moment, and then she managed to speak. “Nothing, it's just…you look really good for your age.”

Kez gave her finger guns. “Damn right I do.”

“But Grace, seriously,” Mikayla said. “We could learn alot from these people. Don’t you ever wish you had a mentor?”

Grace averted her gaze to the concrete. She wanted to say ‘aren’t I a good enough mentor,’ but deep down she knew it was petty. It was not like she had met any grownups that had genuine interest in something like roller derby; they assumed it was a phase at best and a danger den at worst.

However, she didn’t want Min to think anything was wrong. The point of this outing was to get him to believe in the team again.

She sighed, watching Min sulk in the corner. “I guess we can stay for a bit.”

“Wooo!” Mikayla cheered. She pulled Grace in for a hug, and Kez and Ryan weren’t too far behind. “Let’s see if those skaters will take a team photo of us.”

“Mmmm,” Min grunted, fiddling with his sleeves.

“Come on Min, we’re at a party!” Grace held him by the shoulders and began to shake him, hoping her shift in mood wasn’t too obvious. “Loosen up!”

“Yeah Min, get wild!” Ryan joined in by shaking him from behind. Soon Kez and Mikayla joined, each taking a hand to wag around.

“Uhahhahhuhuh STOOP OKAY FINE!” Min flailed his arms, and the team backed away. “Sheesh, I’m gonna get nauseous.” He crossed his arms. “But I guess I’ll try.”

“That’s the spirit!” Grace lightly punched his arm. She was glad he was going to at least give it a shot, even if she herself doubted people their parents’ age would be much fun.

The captain was left alone, fire crackling beneath her. The flames of irritation from earlier faded to ash, and she knew she needed to make it up to her best friend.

She padded on the carpets of the lodge, trying to find a sign of him. Instead, she found the door of a storage room swung open. Knick-knacks of all sorts lined the walls, wooden dolls spilling off the tables and onto the floors while mildew-encrusted books squeezed between the shelves. The most notable in the room, though, was a taxidermy raccoon, pointed out and ready to strike.

“She’s collecting again.” The captain turned around to find the second-in-command sitting alone on the steps, eyes downcast.

She sighed. “I’m sorry. This must be horrible for you.” She walked to his side, sitting on the steps beside him. “I should have seen it, but I’ve been dealing with…something…”

Slowly, she unfurled the piece of paper she had been hiding the whole time. It was a doctor’s summary from her physical earlier that week. Everything had been normal, except the incriminating chicken scratch at the bottom:

• May have issues with overexertion, cut back on physical activity

“I’m slowing down,” the captain said, the words forced out of her mouth. “I’ve been trying to keep up, but I can’t play like I used to. I didn’t want the Apex…or you, to see me like this.” She looked up sadly, expecting the worst. “And think less of me.”

The second-in-command had been frowning the entire time, but his face softened with a reassuring smile. “I’m always with you. We’re a team.”

Something in her chest burst. Of course he would be there for her. Instinctively, she dove in for a hug.

“Alright.” She leaned away for a moment. “Let’s get out of here.”

The party turned out to be pretty fun. 

The center of the outdoor rink had a massive tower of couches and other upholstered furniture stacked crookedly on top of each other, an artistic centerpiece to the curved concrete. The top ledge was right outside the host’s home, sliding doors wide open for people to mill in and out. Mini strobes littered both inside the house and outside by the skate park, one of the few sources of light including the streetlamps just outside the park and fluorescent bulbs from the swimming pool. It was near impossible that there was something that didn’t appeal to someone, whether it was beer pong on roller skates or racing to the top of the couch tower; they even had strap-on skates for guests to borrow. The energy was infectious, making anyone wild from the derby euphoria.

And the Chronic Cranes were no exception. Kez attempted pull ups on Minnie Roundhouse’s biceps, Ryan stripped to his underwear to go for a swim, and Mikayla took photos to send to everyone. Even Min eventually loosened up, rolling up his sleeves and letting a few strands of hair fall loose on his head.

As for Grace, she was racing to the top of the couch tower with Wayne Brute-ton. He was closing in close on her, but she swiftly reached the top before sliding down the couches as if they were sand dunes. 

“Made it!” Grace slapped the concrete victoriously. The landing was a bit shaky, but she managed to bite back an ‘oof’ before anyone noticed.

“Nice! Cheers!” Kez held up her drink to clink with Grace’s.

“Is it hot out here, or is it just me?” Mikayla asked as she sipped her virgin punch.

“No, it’s fucking f-f-freezing!” Ryan chattered his teeth in a laugh as he shivered in his wet undershirt.

“Yeah, because you decided to jump in a pool in the middle of October,” Grace reminded him without bite.

“What? I’m just getting wild!” Ryan defended, and Min began to giggle. He was definitely a little tipsy, given he didn’t even blink at Grace’s stunt.

“I’m gonna do something real wild,” Min slurred with a goofy grin, wiggling his eyebrows.

Grace raised her eyebrow. “Oh yeah?”

“Watch this.” Making sure everyone was watching, he walked away from the pong table. Then after a dramatic pause, he laid flat on his back across the concrete. “I’m on the ground!”

“Yeah! Min’s getting wild on the ground!” Ryan celebrated. “Min’s on the ground! Min’s on the ground!” Soon the other Cranes joined him in the chant, spreading to other people at the party. It was incredible how easily Grace’s teammates fell into unison, let alone spreading it to other people.

A random party goer, wearing a massive fish bowl on their head like a wannabe astronaut, swung around a bullhorn. “JUMPING TIME!”

“Do the jumps! Do the jumps!” The party goers were chanting in a frenzy.

“Heh, what’s jumping time?” Min chuckled, two parts oblivious and one part nervous.

“It’s when the skaters take turns jumping over their teammates!” Acid Paine said. “Perfect practice for tournaments.”

“Haha, yeah.” Grace pushed her hair back. It was just like they had done at practice, only Min didn’t participate before.

Oh.

Shit.

“Wait, hang on, he doesn’t skate!” Grace called out before getting pushed backwards and drowned out by the sea of people.

“Min! Min, can you hear me?” Ryan attempted to wrestle his way out of the crowd fruitlessly. Soon the rest of the team was swept up and away from Min-Gi. He tried to sit up, but the flying legs deterred him and left him shielding his face.

“What the hell was that for?” Ryan snapped.

“You’re all skaters, aren’t you?” the rando asked.

“Well, all of us except Min,” Mikayla said quietly.

“Yeah, he’s more like our…moral support?” Kez explained with a so-so hand gesture.

“I brought him out here so he wouldn’t get freaked out by other skaters!” Grace fumed. “And now he’s gonna get freaked out because he doesn’t know how to do this!”

“Oh. Well.” Wayne Brute-ton looked out ruefully at Min-Gi. “Fuck.”

“Relax! It won’t be too bad, as long as you can jump over him and not crush him under the weight of your skates,” Owl play snorted. “That’d be pretty nasty, huh.”

“Who’s jumping for you?” the rando with the bullhorn asked Grace. Min shifted on the ground uneasily, so she scanned each of her teammates one by one. Kez looked high on life and raring to go, but the frenzy kept diverting her attention in a million directions. Mikayla by far had the best jumps during practice, but she seemed a bit intimidated and weary, so it was a gamble with how confidently she could land. Grace could always do the jump herself, but given Min’s current lack of trust in her with the team, he might wig out.

Then there was Ryan. His landings were the most clunky of anyone’s on the team, and he tended to jump better when he had a wall or other person to lean on to gain momentum.

And yet he remained undeterred by the ongoing chaos, laser focused on Min-Gi with his jaw set.

“Ryan,” Grace said, and he briefly diverted his attention to her. “You’re up.”

He nodded shortly. “You got it, G.” He saluted his teammates with a wink and a toothy grin. He lined up next to the other skaters. He was dwarfed by the other skaters as he dripped of pool water in just his underwear, glasses and roller skates.

Min attempted to crane his head up. “What’s going on?”

“Don’t freak out,” Grace cupped her hands to speak with him. “But Ryan’s gonna jump over you.”

He jolted. “WHAT?!”

“I SAID DON’T FREAK OUT!” Grace watched as Ryan stretched his legs. If he wasn’t half-naked and sopping wet, he would look almost intimidating. “It’s gonna be great, trust us.”

Min grumbled incoherently as he settled back on the concrete. The rest of the team shimmied up to the front of the crowd. Rows of people curved along the sloping skate ramps, much different from the flat rink the Cranes had grown accustomed to.

“So it looks like we have the Coven Crashers, the Forest Dangers, and uh.” The announcer paused to lean over to Ryan, who whispered in their ear. They returned to their bullhorn. “The Chronic Cranes!” The three girls cheered extra loud on the last note.

A whistle pierced the air, and the skaters flew. They whizzed around the bank like bullets.

The first skater to jump was Owl Play, legs flying over Acid Paine before the lap was completed. “And there goes Owl Play, flying high!”

Grace clenched her hand in a fist, pressing it to her face as if to bite her nails from under the mask. Min squirmed from where he was on the ground.

Two laps later, the second skater, Minnie Roundhouse, made the leap over Wayne Brute-ton. “Minnie Roundhouse just landed the leap, bravo!” One last skater was left making laps, water flying as it dried off his skin.

“Think I’m ready!” Ryan said as he flew past his teammates with a high five, going into the next lap. “Watch out, Min!”

“What?!” Min craned his neck to try and see what was going on.

“Ryan’s gonna jump next lap!” Grace told him. “Relax, you’re doing great!”

“Come on Ry-Guy!” Kez cheered.

“You got this, Ryan!” Mikayla joined. The rest of the crowd was screaming in anticipation for the last leap as Ryan bounded the corner.

Ryan was hurtling straight towards Min, preparing himself to jump.

20 feet and Min was still lying on the floor.

10 feet and Min began to shake.

5 feet.

2 feet.

The last foot Min shot straight up. “Wait!”

“Gah!” Ryan pitched forward, tripping on the rubber stop on his skates. He nearly crashed into Min-Gi, if not for Grace gripping his arm and swiftly pulling him out of the way. A shaky breath escaped Ryan’s throat, and he held tight to Grace’s shoulders as he steadied himself.

“You okay?” She asked.

“I’m okay! I’m okay,” he wheezed, straightening up to meet Grace’s eyes. “Thanks.”

“Oof! Looks like we got a doozy from the Chronic Cranes.” The single announcement made Grace realize the entire party went silent. Everyone was staring at their group, and she could practically feel the announcer cringe. “It’s okay, you’ll get ‘em next time.” The crowd slowly resumed its normal chatter, but Grace felt like bacteria under a microscope.

“What was that?” Min shouted angrily as he pushed himself up, approaching Ryan.

“Why did you sit up?” Grace asked sternly, ignoring his question and standing in front of Ryan.

“Because he was gonna jump on me!”

“He was gonna jump over you,” she corrected. “He had perfect form, he was going in a perfect arc and you sat up because you didn’t trust him. And both of you could have gotten really hurt.”

“I-I…” a retort died on the tip of Min’s tongue and his eyes darted to Ryan’s before falling to the ground.

Grace turned to the other skaters. “Derby isn’t always gonna be pretty, which is why we always have to be alert. We can’t always prevent getting hurt, but if we’re scared of that, then we don’t see what’s actually going around us. And that’s when shit goes downhill. Do you follow?”

Everyone looked at each other, a solemnity keeping them quiet. They eventually nodded, looking smaller than their usual exuberant selves.

“I really want all of you to think this over,” Grace continued. “This is a very serious game, and if we don’t all trust each other, we’re gonna get hurt. So why don’t you three think it through before next practice, okay?” The three skaters nodded, kicking loose stones on the ground.

“Ryan, I-uh-I…” Min kept starting and stopping. Grace shot a steely gaze at him, though not too hard. Come on, you can do it .

He sighed. “I should go.” Goddammit.

Ryan deflated. “Whatever, man.” He brushed past Min, firmly bumping shoulders before storming off. Min squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing his face before running away.

“I’ll go talk to him,” Grace assured Kez and Mikayla, who were staring at her dumbfounded. “You two keep enjoying the party.” She didn’t stay to watch their awkward reactions, marching off to find him..

Luckily, Min didn’t get too far, wedged between dancing drunks and red solo cups. “Min, Min!” Grace weaved through the crowd before grabbing his arm.

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?!” He snapped, twisting around. The sea of people managed to at least part around them, whether it was common courtesy or avoidance of conflict.

“I don’t know why you’re mad!” Grace retorted, a bitter taste rising in the back of her throat. “He could’ve broken his neck tripping on you, and you couldn’t even give him a simple apology.”

“You don’t know him like I do,” he defended. “He doesn’t pay attention.”

“Maybe not, but I know him enough, and he seemed pretty attentive then,” she shot back, feeling herself get more and more angry. “He wants to be your friend, but you just keep spitting in his face.”

“I don’t-it’s not-ugh!” After a few sputters, he shook his head angrily. “Why does it matter to you what I do with my relationships, anyway?”

“Because you have someone that’s willing to give you a second chance, Min!” Grace gripped onto her bracelet. “So many people would kill to start over with someone, to get closure, but don’t have that chance, but he comes back and what do you do? You push him away! Just like you push everyone else away!”

Min’s brows furrowed, even though he took a step back. “That’s not true!”

“Really? Then what about the team?” She snarled back. “You have Kez, Mikayla, me, hell, even Blake tries to talk to you! But you just blow off everyone!” The stench of alcohol and ire was hot in her breath. “Maybe if you didn’t act like this, she wouldn’t have left you!”

“It’s not my fault he wanted to-” Min began to yell back, but stopped short. “Wait, she?”

“What?”

“You said ‘she wouldn’t have left.’ I wasn’t…what are you talking about?” Grace’s eyes widened, blood running cold. The sounds of the party became a muted murmur, and her vision blurred everywhere except Min’s face.

“Grace, are you okay?”

“I-I need a minute!” Before Min could answer, she tore off.

“Grace, wait!” But she was already stumbling away, attempting to find a quiet corner. It was virtually impossible, as every inch of the place was sprawling with noise. Her finger snatched at the zipper of her fanny pack, scrambling to remove a piece of paper to make a paper crane.

“I can’t believe they’re still letting those delinquent kids compete after what they did to that skater.” Grace overheard someone in the hot tub.

“Yeah, it’s hard to believe they got away with it, poor woman,” another responded. “To get hurt, lose her job, and her kid? Despicable.” Paper sliced Grace’s thumb, and she hissed. She tore away from that corner, trying to find somewhere she couldn’t be watched.

Something caught on her shoelace and she went tumbling forward. A shock wave of pain reverberated from her knee. Fuck, this hurt. An attempt to stand failed, and she crumpled under her own weight. It was pathetic, how the captain of multiple teams couldn’t even pull herself up. Thunder pounded in her ears, and the world seemed to drown out in a sea of agony.

A hand came on her shoulder, and she swatted it away without thinking. She whipped around to scold the person, but only faltered.

Min was squatting in front of her, eyes puffy and red. “You seemed freaked out, is everything okay?” Grace tried to form a sentence, but all she could do was wheeze trying to catch her breath. Air burned in her dry throat, and it took a few forced slow inhales to settle herself.

“Here.” Min untied his windbreaker from around his waist and draped it over Grace’s shoulders, cautiously avoiding direct touch. “Pull it tight around you, it helps me when I panic.”

“I’m not panicking,” Grace managed, but still wrapped the coat around herself anyway.

“Never said you were.” The two remained quiet. The pressure did help Grace see things more clearly, funny enough. The party came back into focus, but so did the pain in her knee.

“Are you hurt?” Min asked.

“Nope, all good.” Grace gritted her teeth behind her mask.

Min’s eyes dropped to the half crinkled paper in her hand. “I don’t know how you make cranes when you’re stressed, I can’t fold a straight line on a good day.”

“I’m not stressed.”

“Then why is there blood on the paper?”

A red streak incriminated the sheet, and Grace crumpled it up in guilt. She attempted to suppress a groan as she cradled her knee. “It’s nothing, really. Don’t worry about it.”

It didn’t seem to convince Min, though, as he stood from where he crouched. “Stay here, I’ll get you some ice.”

Grace hobbled to her feet but was just out of reach of Min when he got up. “Min, wait-!”

“Excuse me!” Min waved his hand to get someone’s attention. “Hello? Can someone help me?” He nearly got knocked over in the sea of partygoers, his height the only thing keeping him from falling flat on his back. Grace shrunk behind him, praying someone would ignore him so she wouldn’t be found out.

“You alright?” The soft ring of a woman’s voice finally responded. He turned to see an older woman with her hands on her hips. Her long, graying hair coiled down her back in a ponytail, and she dressed in quarter-length slacks with a brown flight jacket covering her yellow collared shirt. She was dark skinned, and while wrinkles on her face indicated age, there was a quiet maturity to her that wasn’t present with the other loose cannons they met tonight.

“Um, yes, do you know where I can get ice and like, put it in a bag?” Min asked, and Grace cringed inwardly.

“You mean an ice pack?” The lady’s face went stony as she braced her arm on the counter. “Is someone hurt? Because if someone’s hurt, I need to know.”

“Yes! It’s, it’s…” Min trailed off as he saw Grace’s face. It was scrunched in a grimace, silently begging him, don’t . “It’s…me.” The lady raised a single eyebrow. “I…have bad knees? It’s why I don’t skate.” Sweat trailed down Min’s forehead, and Grace felt herself perspire in suit. Eyes tracing between the two young adults, Grace prayed the look on the lady’s face wasn’t skepticism.

“Well, why didn’t you say so?” the lady said kindly, expression softening. “Wait right here, I’ll get you your ice.” She patted Min on the shoulder and smiled before walking away; Grace thought she heard her faintly shouting at the other party goers for help. Min turned around to face Grace.

“Thank you,” she said, voice barely above a whisper as she slumped on a stone ledge to sit.

“Don’t mention it,” he replied, groaning as he widened his legs to sit down next to her. His thigh bounced a couple times before he spoke again. “So, how long has this been a thing?”

“The pain just started a few minutes ago,” Grace explained, but Min furrowed her eyebrows at her in a way that indicated it wasn’t what he was asking. She shifted uncomfortably. “I found out last fall I get minor pain in my legs sometimes. I think doing both skating and dancing makes me tired, it’s not a big deal.”

“It /is/ a big deal!” Min argued. “The derby is probably making it worse, this is exactly what I was worried about. You shouldn’t be skating!”

“And you don’t get to make that choice for me, Min-Gi!” Anger bloomed in Grace’s chest once more. “I’ve had enough of people deciding what’s best for me, and I don’t need it again, especially not from you.”

“What are you talking about?” Min tapped his knee apprehensively. “Was this about, whoever ‘she’ was?” Luckily, Grace didn’t need to respond, as footsteps on cobblestone alerted both of them away from the argument.

“Here you go, hon.” The lady returned with a plastic bag of ice in one hand, and a plastic bag full of miscellaneous objects in the other.

“Thanks,” Min said as he took the ice pack. He almost offered it to Grace, but paused as his arm flailed before laying the pack on this lap and chuckling nervously.

“Also some donations from the other skaters here.” The lady plopped the items between the two of them. Grace skimmed through them, becoming more and more bewildered as she picked through them. A Gas ‘n Dog giftcard came across her search, and she held it up with questioning eyes. “A lot of them do not have kids,” the lady joked dryly, and the three of them shared a short laugh.

“Thanks, you didn’t have to do all this,” Grace thanked with relief.

“Of course, your friend asked for help after all.” Her attention turned towards Min. “Say, if you don’t skate, what brings you here?”

“Oh I’m here with my friends.” He gritted his teeth at Grace. “I’m worried they might get hurt doing stuff like this.”

“Well maybe you should trust their judgment a bit more, Min,” Grace seethed right back. “A little risk won’t kill us.”

The tension was sliced by the woman’s laughter. “Oh, you two sound just like my granddaughter.”

The two of them turned their heads away in a stupor. “Wait, really?”

“She’s a skater, too. Brave, smart, always wants to do the right thing. But she can be real stubborn, too.” The lady leaned back. “She’ll bite off more than she can chew, and won’t admit when she’s scared or ask for help when she needs it.”

“Why not?” Grace asked.

“She’s afraid of letting people down.” Nerves tingled at the bottom of Grace’s gut. “I told her she has a whole group of people that are willing to help her, but they can’t if she won’t tell them what she needs. That’s why I admire you for asking me for help, young man.”

“Oh, it was no big deal,” Min scoffed while rubbing the back of his neck.

“Nonsense. I know this bunch can be a bit…much,” she said with a playful twitch of the eye. “But when it comes down to it, they’re willing to help others in their community, on wheels or off.”

The plastic of the glow bracelet Grace wore weighed heavily around her wrist. She wanted to believe this lady was right, that she could reach out when she needed to. But she couldn’t deal with another backfire from being vulnerable; her heart couldn’t take it. The paranoia of being recognized by other skaters was exhausting. Maybe joining a travel league could be a good way to reach out. Still…

“What kind of help?” Grace asked.

“Well, the derby community is known for their volunteering and service,” She explained, putting a hand on her hips. “Though I’ve heard stories of players coming together for strangers out of nowhere. One team pooled together money for a family to take the bus home instead of walking 20 miles.”

“Is that why they gave you all this random stuff?” Min asked, holding up a roll of toilet paper.

“Oh, yes. They heard someone was hurt and immediately pooled together what they had.” A muffled crash rang out from inside, and the woman sighed. “Well, duty calls. Better make sure no one’s getting concussed again. You two take care, alright?”

“Okay. And thanks, uhhh…” Grace trailed off, realizing she didn’t have the woman’s name.

“Call me…the OMG. It’s what my granddaughter came up with,” The woman said fondly. She paused for a moment as she stood, considering her words carefully. “I know you have bad knees, but there are definitely work-arounds.”

Min straightened his back. “Really?”

“Trust me, while I don’t compete anymore, I’m still an adrenaline junkie. You just have to know your limits and trust your team to help you.” Even though Min was the one directly conversing with her, Grace couldn’t help but get an itch in that moment, just like in the entire conversation, that the OMG was actually talking to her, deep brown eyes locked on her own the whole time. 

“Y’all take care.” She walked away with a wave.

A few seconds passed before Min remembered to pass the ice pack to Grace. “Thanks,” she said, resting it where the muscles felt aggravated and letting the cold relieve them.

“No problem,” he replied simply. Hands folded in front of him, he dropped his head between his knees and sighed deeply. “Look, if you’re not gonna listen to me and stop playing…can you at least tell me why?”

Adjusting the pack on her leg, Grace trilled her lips together as she tugged down her mask to her chin. “You’ll call me dramatic, but…I’m in love with this sport, Min. Everyone always had some sort of image in their head of what I should be, but whenever I’m in the rink, I feel like I could do anything, be anything, be free. I started playing because I didn’t want to be a bystander in my own life; it was the first time I really felt seen, you know?”

The solid stare of Min’s eyes began to waver, a hurricane brewing in his irises. “It’s just,” Min sighed, looking at his hands. “How are you okay with that? Getting hurt, I mean.”

“Min, that’s just the territory of derby,” Grace explained. “You get hit. Everything has a risk attached to it, and maybe this risk isn’t worth it to you, but…” She made eye contact. “It is to me, okay?”

Min pressed his lips into a thin line, and ducked his head away. “I guess I can’t argue with that.” He wiped his nose. “Do you think it’s worth it to everyone else?”

Grace was going to immediately affirm it, but paused to really think about it. She always assumed everyone loved derby as much as she did, given how they would laugh and joke even in the most grueling of practices. But that wasn’t before some of their major hiccups. She completely forgot that everyone was working towards their different majors and careers. She had gotten into her head so much she didn’t think about if they were as into the sport as she was.

“I guess we’ll have to ask.” The two sat in silence for a minute, the cold sinking into Grace’s knees with relief. With everything more calm, she noticed that rings traced under Min’s eyes. “I shouldn’t have jumped down your throat, and I wasn’t trying to embarrass you earlier. I brought you here because I wanted you to understand me, and I only picked Ryan to jump over you because I can see he really cares about you. I can’t think of anyone on the team you’d trust more than him.”

Min’s frown deepened. “It’s not that I don’t trust him, it's just…a long story.” Grace scooted closer to him, playfully knocking their knees together and resting her chin in her hands. He raised an eyebrow. “What, are you curious?”

“Can you blame me? I didn’t even know he existed until a month ago.” The joke didn’t land, as he put his head in his hands. Grace frowned. “What happened, Min?”

A loud breath released from Min, and he lifted his head to stare straight ahead. “Ryan left me.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” Someone popped a balloon in the distance, the cheers drowned out between their silence. “That freak train trip I mentioned…at the tail end when we were almost back to campus, there was this event. Art students throwing this party at a gallery or whatever. We had a fight in there and then…” He rubbed the bottom of his chin. “I needed space, but it was so crowded. Everyone kept touching me, but it still felt freezing in that room. They were whispering for their ‘next muse,’ which apparently means dunking me in an ice tub before using me as a cast mold to join their creepy hand sculpture.”

“Jesus,” Grace whistled lowly. “How’d you get out?”

“Well, the exit was this weird optical illusion that blended in with the place. I slipped out before anyone could really grab me, but then I saw Ryan running over, and…” His aggrieved expression returned, hands gripping the sides of his hair. “And it felt the same as when he left me without a word in high school. I kept calling his name in there, but he was outside the whole time. It felt like I was invisible to him.” Tears rolled down his cheek, but more in resignation. “I know I should trust him, but I just can’t.”

Grace bit her lip; this felt familiar yet different, like looking at a reflection from inside a mirror. “Do you want him off the team?”

“What? No!” Min shook his head sharply. “I asked him to join, I wanted to end our break, but…” He leaned his head back, looking for stars in the inky black sky. “I feel like there’s something he’s not telling me.”

“Maybe, but he did stay close to you.” Something wasn’t adding up about the situation. “He seems to like doing this, and spending time with you. So what are you afraid of?”

The blare of the TV in the background playing WWE caught their attention, the people indoors cheering at the spandex-clad sportsmen. “You know how on that wrestling program the fighters will like…gently cradle each other’s heads before smashing each other into the ground?” He mimicked the movements that were playing on the TV with his hands. “That’s how I feel when I’m with Ryan.”

Grace pursed her lips. “Have you been taking writing tips from Kez?”

“I’m serious!” Min tried to stay serious, but a little giggle escaped as Grace laughed. He sobered up quickly, though. “Look at everyone else here, look at you! You’re not scared of anything. And look at me.” He tugged at the collar of his shirt to make a point. “What if he realizes there’s cooler people to be with than me, and doesn’t wanna be my friend anymore? What if everyone does?”

Min looked genuinely torn up. This was the most he told Grace anything about his past, and his face indicated he was expected to be thrown away. That if he wasn’t enough, he shouldn’t even try.

Grace threw her arms around his shoulders. “Well, I wanna be your friend.”

Min’s eyes widened before scrunching up. A gasp escaped his lips, and he devolved into silent sobs. Grace squeezed a little tighter, staying with him for what felt like forever. Once he calmed down, she returned his windbreaker to his shoulders. “Do you wanna go home, Min?”

Sad, glassy eyes met Grace’s. “Yeah,” Min said with a sniffle. “I don’t wanna make everyone else go home because of me, though.”

“I’m sure they’ll be fine.” Grace stood up, peering through the crowd for any of the other teammates. “If we can find them, that is.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll grab a drink first.” Min poured himself a cup of the virgin punch.

“Once we get back, we’ll-” Grace was cut off by Min spitting his drink, pressing a hand against his mouth. “Are you okay?”

In lieu of an answer, Min poured a harried cup of punch for Grace and shoved it towards her. “Drink it.”

“Why?”

“Just do it.” Getting no further explanation, she took a cautious sip. “What does it taste like?”

“I don’t know, fruit punch?”

“Yeah, but what’s in fruit punch?” Min urged.

“I don’t know, Min! Like Kool-Aid, or pineapple…juice…” Grace slowed down, realizing what was in the drink.

What she was told had a ‘zingy’ aftertaste.

Min shared the same grave look with her. “Where’s Mikayla?”

“Let me call her.” Min fumbled his phone out of his pocket, dialing her number only to groan in exasperation. “It went straight to voicemail!”

“Her phone must have died, shit!” Grace tapped her foot anxiously. “If she’s not feeling good, she might be in the bathroom.”

“Let’s check, come on.” The two of them fought their way through the crowd, calling out for Kez, Ryan, or Mikayla. No luck, but they eventually found the door for the bathroom. Grace knocked on the door.

“Occupied.” It was Kez’s voice.

“Kez, it’s Grace, and Min,” Grace answered. “Have you seen Mikayla?”

A pause. “You may not enter without saying the password.”

Min groaned. “Kez, come one, you know it’s us.”

“Secret. Password!”

Grace looked at Min for help. Min shifted on his feet, waiting for Kez to rescind her demands. When it didn’t come, he threw his head back with a groan. “Get dazzled.”

The door opened a crack. “You may enter.” Grace rolled her eyes as she and Min entered the bathroom. All annoyance quickly dissipated once her eyes hit the floor.

Mikayla was crouched on the tiles, head leaning on the lid of the toilet. Her bearskin jacket was cast aside, and sweat stuck to her face. Ryan crouched next to her, rubbing comforting circles on her shoulders; he was wearing his jacket and shirt but was still pantless, hair sticking out in towel-dried frizz.

“Mikayla!” Grace dropped to her knees next to her. “What happened?”

“She got sick to her stomach,” Ryan explained. “I was hanging in the shower to dry off, but I heard her and Kez come in, and…”

“I don’t know why,” Mikayla croaked, nearly breaking into a sob. “I didn’t drink any booze.”

“Pineapple juice,” Min filled in. “The non-alcoholic punch had pineapple juice.”

“Ohhhh.” Kez put a finger to her chin. “That’s why you said it was zingy.” Mikayla made a pained noise.

“Poor thing.” Grace sympathetically winced, then turned upwards towards Min. “Does that bag of random junk have anything that could help?”

He rustled through with a disappointed head shake. “No, it’s like an old person’s grocery cart in here.” Min read the labels aloud one by one. “Fiber powder, bunion pads, Mrs. Tinsley’s Butter Lozenges for Well Behaved Boys?” His voice cracked in confusion on the last one. “No thanks!”

“It’s okay, I think I’m done being sick-sick,” Mikayla mumbled, shifting into an upright sitting position. “I don’t need specific medicine or anything.”

“Well, why don’t we get you home?” Grace reached a hand out, but Mikayla scooched backwards. She sighed. “Kayla, we gotta get out of the bathroom if we wanna leave.”

“I know, I just,” Mikayla whined, curling into a ball. “I just don’t want people to see me like this.” She stuck her head in her knees,and everyone frowned.

“Hey, no one has to see you like this, okay?” Grace assured her. She couldn’t blame her for not wanting more experienced skaters to see her like this; mean nicknames, even made in good humor, had a habit of sticking. “I just need to think.”

“Grace?” Min waved towards Grace. “I think I know who could help.”

Sucking in her bottom lip, Grace shook her head. “I don’t know.”

“Why not? It’s worth a shot.” 

“She’s-” Grace flipped her head back and forth before whispering. “She’s an adult.”

“And what are you?” His eyebrows formed a pleading stance. He mouthed, ‘For Mikayla?’

Another groan filled the bathroom, and Grace turned to see Mikayla hiding her eyes. Sighing, she slowly stood up. “I’m gonna scope the scene. Min, wait by the door for me and I’ll give you the signal.” He nodded, and she reluctantly left her sickly teammate to find a solution.

Pulling her mask back up, Grace quickly scanned the party until she found who she was looking for.

“Hey, OMG!” She called out in the loudest voice she could manage. Luckily, the long, curly ponytail swirled around as the woman faced her.

“Hey!” She greeted. “How’s it going?”

“Okay, I guess.” She turned to Min, who waved at her to continue. She steeled herself. “I wanted to ask a favor.”

“Oh! Okay, shoot.” Making sure no one else was listening, Grace leaned into the OMG’s ear and whispered. Her eyes widened, and she found Min in the back. “You want to do what ?” Grace whispered some more. Creases in the OMG’s face hardened into determination. “Alright, I’ll take care of them, you do your thing.”

“Send him over to me while you’re there.” Nodding, the OMG strided confidently as Grace hopped up on the fireplace. A split second later, Min climbed to her side.

“What now?” he asked, wringing his hands together. Winking, she sliced the air with a sharp whistle.

“Hey everyone!” She shouted to everyone. The bathroom door creaked open, and she caught the glint of Ryan’s glasses watching her. Grabbing a fistful of chips, she flung them at Min-Gi. “Food fight!”

“What the-oh yeah!” Min quickly caught on, picking out a few chips and sprinkling them on Grace’s head before smiling awkwardly. “Fighting with food, woo.” The two grimaced, praying for anyone to take the bait. More confused glances came their way.

Roars filled the room as everyone immediately flung what they could at each other. Sodas and beers exploded in rockets of foam. Showers of cheese puffs bulleted towards one another. Crumbs and dust obscured the view of the room like gunsmoke. Grace topped it off by dumping the chips on the crowd before grabbing Min’s hand and leaping off the fireplace. She winced a little, but Min stayed by her side and led her to the kitchen, where the OMG was ushering them.

“This way, you two.” She gestured towards the door. “Your friends are waiting, watch your step.”

Grace eased herself down the steep stairs, knee still feeling a little sore. Sure enough, Ryan and Kez were huddled around Mikayla, looking relieved.

“Hey OMG!” A random voice bellowed from behind the two remaining occupants. “Wanna join the food fight?”

“What? No, I’m not joining a damn food fight.” The OMG attempted to shoo away the person Grace couldn’t quite see. “I’m a little busy right now.”

“Come on, get WILD!”

THWACK!

A sharp thud landed, and suddenly Min was flying over the stairs.

“AHH!” He screamed.

Adrenaline kicked into overdrive. “CATCH!” Grace yelled, practically yanking Kez by the arm. Luckily everyone caught on quickly, and forcefully clashed their arms together to form a basket under Min-Gi.

“Oof!” Grace nearly buckled under the weight, but managed to hold him up with help from her other teammates. Min didn’t touch the ground, even if everyone was practically crouching to keep him up.

“Min, are you okay?” Ryan instantly asked, eyeing Min for any pain.

In place of an answer, Min nodded dumbly, looking as if he swallowed his tongue.

“Alright, up you go,” Grace said as she guided Min to his feet, the others following suit. While she could admit starstruck Min was an amusing sight, her legs weren’t so quick to agree.

“Damn! You kids are strong!” The OMG whistled, impressed. Grace nearly forgot she was there. “Where’d you learn that? I haven’t seen that on any track.”

“Oh just our cool-and-groovy captain,” Kez bragged, clapping Grace on the shoulder.

“Yeah, we wouldn’t be here without her,” Mikayla added, giving Grace a tiny smile that she couldn’t help but soften at.

“Well, she’ll take you far.” The OMG saluted them. “Good luck with your season, Cranes!”

“Bye, Miss OMG!” Min waved as he steadied himself on his feet.

“Yeah, thank you,” Grace said humbly. “For everything.”

“Of course! Rollers stick together.” The OMG winked at Grace, and a weight lifted off Grace’s chest. A feeling she couldn’t name it in the moment rested in her ribs; normally she shirked any opinion of adults, but she felt…seen. 

With a final wave, she and her friend made a beeline to Kez’s car.

“You have the window open for her?” Grace asked Kez when she buckled in the front seat and pocketed her mask.

“One step ahead of you.” Kez looked in the rearview. “How are you feeling, Kayla Bayla?”

“M-kay.” She shrugged, head pressed against the car door. For some reason Min was squished in the middle seat while Ryan attempted to wriggle his jeans back on. The three of them swayed when the car began to move. Min clasped his knees to avoid bumping into either passenger, each miserable looking in their own ways.

Grace pursed her lips together. “I’m sorry about tonight. I thought it’d be fun, but the whole thing was a mess.”

Min bounced his leg a couple times before reaching into the plastic bag. “Kez, can you pull into the closest Gas ‘n Dog?”

“Oh, sure! There’s one right here,” Kez answered while putting on her blinker. “Why?”

“Well, someone at the party gave me a gift card, sooo,” he drawled the last vowel, trying for a smile that a dad would use while trying to coax his kids into getting ice cream when they were feeling sad. “Tonight doesn’t have to be a complete bust.”

“Dude, how much is on that thing?” Ryan adjusted his glasses to look better at it.

“You know? It didn’t say.” He flipped the card around for any indication of price. “Hopefully it’s enough to get drinks.”

“Oh, sweet! Thanks Min,” Kez chirped as she pulled into the spot in front of the convenience store. “I can get one of those funky iced teas.”

“Can I get corn nuts?” Mikayla asked, voice wispy.

“No, you are getting a ginger ale,” Grace said sternly. “I don’t want you getting sick again.”

“It’s not for me, it’s for Tulip. We have an inside joke.” She blinked sadly. “Please?”

Unfortunately, Grace’s immunity to sad eyes waned within the past year. “Okay, but don’t eat them, okay?”

“Get her some soup crackers if you can,” Ryan advised. “Those are good for when you’re nauseous.”

“Really?” Min raised an eyebrow. “Where’d you learn that?”

“Did you forget I have two younger brothers, one that would get sick a lot?” Ryan clearly played it as a joke, but Min turned his head away in shame. A sharp breath went into Ryan’s nostrils, more despondent than angry. “Anyways, I’ll probably have a Red Bull or something like that.”

Grace half expected Min to scold Ryan like he would her whenever she would get something he would deem gross, but he remained silent. The conflict with him and Ryan must really be messing with him tonight. “Min, black coffee, I presume?”

“Hm? Oh sure,” he murmured, blinking back to attention. “I always forget you know that.”

“Well, you get it every time.” Grace wiggled her eyebrows mischievously. “So you can guess my drink!”

Min rolled his eyes. “Grace, I cannot in good conscience buy you a Baja Blast.”

“I can!” Kez swiped the giftcard out of his hands from the front.

“Wha-Kez!” Min grumbled, and Ryan and Mikayla giggled. For a moment, Grace saw the worry lines in Min’s face vanish.

“We’ll be back soon!” Grace unbuckled her seatbelt and followed her inside. “So, how did it go with Miss Roundhouse?”

“Hm? Oh she was nice,” Kez shrugged. “She has a boyfriend.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Wayne Brucie or whatever his name is.”

“Oh.” Grace went to the hot drink counter. “Sorry, I could tell you liked her.”

She shrugged. “It’s whatever. I should probably work on myself and that junk before dating anyway.” She scanned the fridges, hands in pockets. “I don’t know how you do it.”

Grace looked up from where she poured coffee into one of the cups. “Do what?”

“Work so well under pressure.” Bottles clunked together with a sigh. “You knew exactly what to do when you saw Mikayla was sick. How?”

“Oh!” She didn’t want to admit that Min urged her to seek help, so she went with the next best truth that applied to most situations. “I mostly try to analyze things as fast as I can and go with my gut.”

“I feel like every time I go with my gut, it’s telling me the wrong thing.” The constant glimmer present in Kez’s expression faded, making even her rhinestones look dull.

“Well, I don’t think it was telling you the wrong thing when you stayed with her in the bathroom,” Grace offered. “Or when you opened the window for her.”

Kez looked up. “Yeah?”

“Yeah! We all watch out for each other in the best ways we can.” Grace briefly caught her reflection in the coffee canister, fatigued yet confident. “You just gotta do it the Kez way.”

Kez allowed herself a grin. “Yeah!” She grabbed a bag of corn nuts. “Now let’s quench these corpses.”

The two of them paid and walked back to the car, holding their spoils from war and passing them around.

“Sip slowly,” Min advised Mikayla. “The bubbles will help you feel better.”

“If you need to cool off, you can hold my can to your face,” Ryan offered.

“I’ll drive slow,” Kez assured her.

The only noise for a moment was the sound of the engine turning. “I’m sorry I got sick,” Mikayla mumbled, followed by a chorus of ‘no’s’ and ‘don’t apologize’s’.

“You didn’t know what was in the drink, Kayla,” Grace assured her from the front. “It happens to the best of us.”

Wind blew through Mikayla’s curls from the open window. “What if it happens at a bad time, though?”

“Like when?”

“Like…what if I wanna kiss someone, but then I get sick?”

The entire car shared concerned glances with one another. “I mean, you can’t really control when you get sick,” Grace attempted. “I’m sure your date would understand.”

“But if I really like her?” Mikayla burrowed her face in her lap. Everyone exchanged shocked looks, realizing it was the first time she mentioned liking girls. “Then she’ll think I’m the worst.”

“Then it’s her loss,” Kez said defiantly, emphasizing ‘her’ to show her support. “Everybody pukes!”

“Yeah, anyone would be lucky to have you! Besides, I’ve puked like, so many times,” Ryan said casually. “Like my first party-”

“OKAY! Maybe instead of talking about…this, we should talk about something else,” Min (thankfully) ended the topic before Grace had a chance to. “Maybe…you could show me the team logo stuff you’ve been working on?”

Mikayla lifted her head, eyes shining a little less sadly than before. “Have you not seen the stuff I’ve been sending you?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, I saw you sent messages, but I haven’t been able to look at them with class and stuff. I wasn’t trying to ghost you, honest.” He shifted so he could pull his phone out of his back pocket. “We can look right now, if you want.”

Slowly, Mikayla leaned over to look at his screen. The two scrolled through the messages one by one. “I keep trying to do something with the paper cranes, but I’m struggling with the angular shapes,” she sighed. “I wish I could draw like you did with your band’s logo.”

“Oh!” It seemed Min was taken off guard by the compliment; Ryan also turned his head around to see his reaction. “Well, you don’t have to copy my style. I like yours already.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! Maybe we should do something so it fits it better. Like drawing a regular crane?” He suggested. Grace glimpsed at Ryan, now fully engrossed in their artistic discussion. He caught her gaze in the mirror, because he quickly faced the window, hand over his mouth to hide his smile.

“I don’t know,” Mikayla hesitated. “The reason for the team name was the paper cranes.”

Grace looked at the receipt in her lap now folded into a crane; origami became a stress reflex at this point.

“Maybe we could have them, but separate from the logo?” Grace turned around in the front seat to hold her creation. “We could pin them on our uniforms.”

“Oooh, yeah I like that!” A smile grew on Kez’s face as she turned the wheel. “I can pin one on my hijab or my beanie!”

“Don’t forget you’ll be wearing a helmet,” Grace reminded her. “And if you’re jamming, you can’t wear a hat on your helmet so people can see the star.”

“What? I’ll just get a hat with a star on it!” Kez protested, and stray giggles escaped from the back seat. She glowered. “Guys! You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“Sorry, Kez,” Ryan laughed with a shrug. “Can’t go against Cap’s orders.”

“Won’t you get sweaty with a beanie anyway?” Mikayla asked.

Kez pursed her lips to the side. “This is antifeminist.”

“Kez! The car is 3/5th’s women!” Min guffawed, then paused in consideration. “Wait, did I read that right?” Silence, then all at once:

“Yeah.”

“Definitely.”

“Sure.”

“Think so.”

“What?”

“Nothing!”

The tension dissipated in the car, filled with bubbles of laughter that fizzled into a collective, contented sigh.

“How are you feeling, Mikayla?” Grace asked after a moment.

“Better, I think,” she answered, sipping on her soda. “I’m probably gonna crash when I get back.”

“Well you’re in luck, because we’re here,” Kez announced as they pulled into the driveway right outside the freshman dorms.

“Holy shit,” Ryan half-gasped. “Kez, did you get somewhere without getting lost once?”

“Uh, yeah?” She unbuckled her seat belt as she jangled her keys out of the ignition. “Why?”

Ryan and Min looked at one another with suppressed, impish grins. “You’re being responsible,” Min muttered in a sing-song voice.

“Oh shut up!” Kez irritably waved a hand as the two guys laughed. “C’mon, Kayla-Bayla. Let's get you away from these corpses.” 

The team followed Mikayla to her door; luckily she was on the first floor, so she didn’t have to traipse her unsteady legs up a set of old stairs. Before Mikayla could unlock her door, it thrust open, nearly knocking her over.

Tulip looked a mess, hair loose in its ponytail while strands stuck in the frames of her glasses. She nearly tripped in her Uggs when she saw her friend standing there.

“I brought corn nuts.” Mikayla held up the snack bag like a trophy, smiling weakly.

“You’re okay!” Tulip burst through the doorway and held tightly to Mikayla, nearly knocking her over.

“Woah, hey.” Mikayla patted Tulip on the back, a drowsiness to her voice. “I’m okay.”

“But you texted me you weren’t feeling good, and then you stopped answering and I-”

“Tulip, I’m fine. My phone died, that was all. I wasn’t feeling good because I accidentally drank pineapple juice.”

“Pineapple juice!” This seemed to stress Tulip even more. “But you’re allergic!”

“I just had a bad stomach, and the team was there to help. I’m okay, Tulip.” The two girls broke the hug to face each other more clearly. Worry lines creased under Tulip’s eyes, enhancing their frantic shine. A faint trace of something red smudged across the bridge of her nose.

“Tulip, are you okay?” Grace couldn’t help but feel inclined to ask, pointing to her own nose. “You have something on your face.”

“Oh my gosh, are you bleeding?” Mikayla brought a thumb to touch the reddened skin on Tulip’s face. “Are you hurt?”

“No!” Tulip sharply pushed away Mikayla’s hand, backing out of the embrace. Her face now turned a deeper red, a flush of embarrassment. “I was out, but then I saw your text, so I came back to the dorm first and I was about to head back out, and, and…” Tulip scrubbed her face furiously. “I hit a bump on the way back.”

“Where’d you get hurt?” Grace inquired, not seeing any cuts or bruises on her.

“I uh…doesn’t matter!” She wrapped her arms around Mikayla’s shoulders once more. “What matters is you’re back and okay and you can rest up until you feel better.”

Mikayla began to shuffle inside before rotating to look at her teammates. “I guess I’ll see you all next practice?”

Grace thumbed the crane in her hands. “You…you want to?” She completely forgot to follow up on the question posed to her teammates that night.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Even while sick, Mikayla kept that genuine quality about her. Even though the night was a complete disaster, even though she’d seen the less desirable part of derby, even after getting sick to her stomach and doing a stakeout to escape, she still wanted to be part of the team.

“I…nevermind. See you next week.” Grace reached to give her a hug.

Ryan and Kez took turns giving Mikayla hugs as well. 

“Feel better, Kayla-Bayla.”

“Take care.”

“Oh, Min!” Mikayla called before Tulip ushered her inside. He looked up, rubbing his wrist. “Text me if you wanna work on the pictures I sent, okay?” She gave him a conspicuous wink.

Min’s eyes flitted around the room, considering what she said. In lieu of an answer, he winked back with a click of his tongue.

“Okay, well, good night,” Tulip waved as Mikayla went inside the dorm. She then lowered her voice. “And thank you, for bringing her home safe.”

The corner of Grace’s mouth upturned. “Of course, we always got her back. We got each other’s back.” Tulip nodded, and clicked the door shut.

“Thank god someone’s home to take care of her,” Ryan said as the four of them turned on their heels. “Being sick and alone sucks.”

“Yeah,” Min said quietly as he opened the door to leave the building. He glanced back and forth between his jacket pockets and Ryan, steeling himself to speak again. “Hey, um…it was really cool how you all came together for Mikayla.”

“Of course,” Kez said nonchalantly. “She’s like, the baby sister of the team.”

“Not even that, it was also that lady we barely knew.” He scratched the back of his head. “I guess I didn’t realize how…connected roller derby players are.”

“Me neither.” Ryan looked up at Grace. “Why didn't you mention that there was a derby community? They all seemed cool.”

“Oh!” A patch of sweat dampened under the glow bracelet. “I guess I was…nervous about doing too much before we skated.” Ryan, Kez, and Min stared at Grace, and she averted her gaze. “You know, in case it didn’t work out.”

“It’s a good thing we’re still working it out then, yeah?” Kez clasped her hands in front of her.

Relief sunk into Grace. “Yeah, I’m into it as long as you all are.”

Ryan gave her a grin. “I know I am.”

“Well, this is our building,” Min announced, patting his sides.

“Okay, well, goodnight you two,” Ryan said shortly.

“Niiight!” Kez sang, and the two turned to go back to her car. Min swallowed, flapping his mouth open and closed. Grace put a hand on his shoulder, not to urge him to say something specific, but just to get out what he needed to say.

“I’m sorry about the jump, Ryan,” he blurted, perking up Ryan’s ears. He turned around, frankly more shocked than smug.

“It’s no big deal, man,” Ryan dismissed.

“No, it is a big deal!” Min continued. “You could’ve gotten hurt, and…I should have paid attention.”

Ryan kicked a pebble, scoffing to himself. “Yeah…I guess I should too.” The car door opened and let the light in as Ryan flashed a smile. “I’ll see you around.”

“See you.” Min gave a small grin and waved. The engine of Kez’s car roared and scooted away. He slumped against the brick wall of the building.

“How are you feeling?” Grace asked, making sure he wouldn’t fall.

Min licked his lips before answering. “Lighter.”

“Good.” She shivered against the cold autumn breeze. “Let’s get inside.” The door nearly tugged out of her grasp with the strong gust of wind, but she managed to pull it shut.

“How’s your leg?” Min asked.

“Okay.” Grace shrugged. Her knee still had a dull ache and needed icing, but nothing too out of the ordinary from her usual pain.

“Look, you don’t have to tell me, but whomever she was…” Grace tensed for a moment. “I’m sure she’s missing out.”

Grace nearly tripped over her shoelace again. There were so many things Grace could say, like bringing up the nuances of the topic, or reminding him he doesn’t know what happened, but instead, she settled on: “Thanks.”

“Of course.”

“And just so you know.” She bumped into his side. “I think you’re pretty cool.”

He perked up. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” A smirk crossed Grace’s lips, and she decided she couldn’t pass up the opportunity for a quip. “That’s why I think you’d be a good skater.”

Min rolled his eyes in resignation. “Good night, Grace.”

“I’ll even crowd fund your skates!”

“Good night, Grace!” He turned to the stairwell, not looking back. Grace giggled to herself; it was a lost cause, but she’d be damned if she couldn’t tease him about it once in a while.

She reached into her fanny pack for her room key, but found something smooth sticking out of it instead. Picking it out, she found a business card with retro lettering spelling out ‘Roll With It: Family Owned Roller Rink.’ A pen made big looped letters on the bottom, and Grace scoffed as she tucked it away again.

‘Keep in touch-OMG’

“Welcome, skaters, to the public skate! You can call me Roy, because I am your boy!” The new announcer for the rink today giggled at his own pun, spinning around in the chair in his booth. It had been almost 2 months since they started practicing at the rink, but this guy was a new and unwelcome surprise. The captain rolled her eyes as she tied the protegee’s skates, mumbling about the kiddie-grade garbage they would have to deal with during practice today.

“Why don’t you like Roy?” the protegee asked, eyes bright and shining with curiosity.

Looking over her shoulder to find the guardian with the second-in-command on the other side of the rink, she answered. “Because Roy’s a null.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means nothing, not even a zero.” The captain made an ‘o’ shape with her fingers and raised it to her eye. “It’s someone that can’t handle the dangers of roller derby, usually adults.”

After tying the last knot in the skates, the captain stood up and offered the protegee a hand. Sadly, she looked at the announcer booth. “What’s wrong with nulls?”

“You can’t trust them,” the captain said gravely. “You’ll never know what they’ll do.”

The girl still hesitated. “But, haven’t you ever gotten to know one?”

“I don’t need to, I can just tell, okay?” The captain was getting more agitated. The protegee stared out at the opposite side of the rink, watching her guardian.

“But she’s good.” And the problem was, the protegee wasn’t exactly wrong. The guardian may have been quiet, but not really in a bad way. Other than the occasional remark of concern, she never argued with them. Everything she did was for the well-being of the protegee.

The captain stared at where her second-in-command and the girl’s guardian were bickering. “Yeah, well, she’s one of the good ones.” Finally, the protegee smiled and took the captain’s hands. “Now, let’s have some fun!”

“Thank you, have a nice day!” Grace said to the student as she handed them a bagged brownie. The cash box now had fifteen measly dollars.

“So how many brownies will cover the cost of equipment?” Ryan asked as he idly strummed his guitar.

Grace trilled her lips. “You want the optimistic answer or the realistic one?”

“Come on, guys!” Mikayla looked up from her sketchbook. “If we have to buy our own stuff, it’s not too bad.”

“I know, I’ve just been trying to avoid that. Equipment’s not cheap, especially if you want good quality stuff.” Grace tapped her pen against her notebook. Different notes on prices of knee and elbow pads were scrawled in butchered math.

“If only some kind donor gave us a bunch of money, right?” Ryan joked wistfully.

“Hey, maybe we can ask her!” Kez pointed towards a figure across the back patio, and Grace felt her heart leap in her throat.

A tall, older woman brushed her graying brown braid over her shoulder as she walked. A gray overcoat draped over her shoulders underneath the black strap of her teacher’s bag, the only pop of color her pants belt with a red sine wave Grace would recognize anywhere.

“Professor Hughes?” Ryan asked. “Didn’t Min say she was tenured here?”

“Uhhh, I don’t know,” Grace said uneasily. She was the last person Grace wanted to see; well, one of several to be honest. “She’s not exactly the generous type.”

“Yeah, that’s Tulip’s robotics teacher. I hear she doesn’t really like students,” Mikayla agreed, thankfully. “I’m not sure she’ll want to support us.”

“Don’t worry, just let Mama Kez work it out,” Kez whispered as she gave Mikayla a friendly kiss on the cheek. She stood proudly and cupped her hands around her mouth, clearing her throat.

Grace reached to tug on her sleeve. “Kez, I don’t think that’s the best idea-”

“YO PROFESSOR AMELIA!” Kez bellowed, and the entire foot traffic stared at the table. Grace ducked her head in her hands as if it would help her vanish. “AMELIA? AMES! AMY!” Kez kept shouting, but all she received was a deadpan glare as the woman walked away. “What a swell lady.”

“You’re just saying that because you think she’s jacked!” Ryan teased as he knocked Kez’s shoulders.

“What, like you wouldn’t be weak to someone’s biceps?” Kez countered, and the two laughed as they play-slapped one another.

“Heyo, this the roller skating club?” Some guy slunk up to the table, shit-eating grin across his face. His hands rested in the pockets of his slacks, orange bowtie on his neat green shirt accentuating his sandy coiffed hair. Five or six other guys similarly dressed stood behind them. It was as if someone took Min-Gi and made a bunch of clones of him, but all the clones were short douchebags.

“Uh, yes?” Grace said, guarded. “How can I help you?”

“We heard you had a bake sale and wanted to support the local business,” he answered, eyebrow quirked in a cartoonish way.

“Oh, that’s awesome!” Mikayla said brightly. “We’re raising money for-”

“Yeah, yeah, just give us the treats,” he waved several bills dismissively, plastered grin not leaving his face. Mikayla’s face fell, and she arranged the treats together.

“How’d you hear about us?” Grace asked suspiciously, squeezing Mikayla’s shoulder protectively.

“Well, I was told about this fine establishment by one of our classmates,” he explained methodically.

“Surprised he agreed to your deal,” one of the other boys snickered. “He’s getting the short end of it.” The other boys laughed in a way that reminded Grace a little too much of the girls in her old dance classes.

“Alright, here’s your stuff,” Grace pushed their goody bags forward. “Goodbye.”

“Woah! No need to hurry!” Green shirt eased obnoxiously. “It’s not like the lunch rush is kicking in any time soon. Say, why don’t we make a deal-”

“Sorry, we’re too busy skating to make deals,” she interrupted, then leaned her head to the side as if someone was behind them. “Next!”

The group of guys jumped to look around to find nobody was there. The green shirt sighed. “Alright, but I’m around if you’re still interested. You don’t exactly have cheer leading funding anymore, captain.” Grace gasped then let her gaze fell. “Here, you’ll need this.” He turned to snivel with his friends, leaving Grace with a handful of bills and despondence.

“Don’t listen to that dickhead.” Ryan leaned forward to assure Grace. “I get people like that when I play music gigs all the time, he was just trying to scam you.”

“I know that, Ryan. It’s just…” Grace huffed, not finishing her sentence as her gaze drifted to a different gaggle of students. Cardigans and green skirts fluttered in the wind towards the library; practice typically ended this part of the morning, so the cheer leaders would go and get smoothies. Not that Grace ever joined them when she was on the team, anyway.

“Sure, we may not get the money the cheer leading team does, but I think we have way more fun.” Mikayla nudged Grace with a shy smile. “I did track in high school, and we never got to come up with our own player names or jump over each other.”

“Yeah, and I’m sure we’ll get by on-AUHHH?!” Kez yelped mid sentence as she counted up the bills. “They left a hundred dollars!”

“What?!” Everyone yelled in unison. Grace snatched the money to double check, but Kez didn’t miscount. “Why would they leave that much?”

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” Min exhaled as he stumbled over to the table, shuffling more papers than usual. “Did a short business major come by here?”

“Sounds like a con artist and leaves a ton of money?” Grace clarified.

“That’s the one, thank god,” he groaned as he neatened the papers to slip into his shoulder bag. “At least he kept up his end of the deal.”

“What deal?” Ryan prodded, curiosity glinting off his glasses.

Min must have realized he slipped, mouth forming an ‘o.’ For a moment Grace thought he was fabricating something in his mind, but then released an exhausted sigh. “Perry is in my finance math class, and he offered me a deal in order to get the other guys to support the team.”

“Perry?” Mikayla furrowed her brows, and snapped her fingers in realization. “Wait a minute, Jesse and Lake met a business guy named Perry! Said he was no good and tried to use their dog to start a pyramid scheme. They called him a parasite.”

“Yeah, I’m learning that now.” Min’s eyes fell to the concrete in defeat.

“Well, what was your end of the deal?” Grace asked carefully.

Min exhaled through his nose as if it was the first time he breathed all day. “He would pool money to support the team’s bake sales for the rest of the semester, if I would do all his assignments.”

“Min’s helping someone cheat?!” Kez choked on her bag of ketchup flavored chips. “That’s so unlike you.”

“I know.” His reply was grave. The team got the memo, and remained silent.

“Min, you didn’t have to do that.” Ryan was the first to speak. The strings of his guitar wavered in trepidation where his fingers brushed them. “I know you worked hard to get into uni and get that scholarship.”

“Ryan’s right.” Grace unfolded her hands. “A bake sale isn’t worth risking your school record.”

“I know, but,” Min paused, eyes flitting between Ryan and Grace. “I guess that’s the point of taking a risk.” Grace’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. She never expected Min to take her advice to heart. Stubbornness sat between the two of them, the invisible bystander egging on conflict between Grace’s urge for control and Min’s need to be right. Seeing him acquiesce should have been nice, but something felt wrong about it.

“Well, I better finish this.” Min held up a hand as he backed away. “See you guys around.”

“Min?” Grace called out before he completely turned.

He faced her once more. “Yeah?”

“Just uh,” she rubbed the back of her neck and gave him a shy grin. “Thanks.”

The words were apparently unexpected, as his eyes widened. After a brief pause, he huffed lightly. “Don’t mention it.”

“Oh wait, Min!” Mikayla shot up out of her seat. “Can we show them the thing?”

Min’s brows rocketed upward. “You think it’s ready?”

“We might need to adjust the font, but yeah! They’re gonna love it!” The loose sole of Mikayla’s old sneaker flapped against the concrete as she bounced her leg.

Tilting his head back and forth, Min eventually aceded. “Okay, I guess I can stay for the reveal.” Mikayla whispered a ‘yes’ as she pulled her backpack from the chair they were saving for him. He slung his shoulder bag off and onto the ground, leaning towards her. Shuffling through her backpack, she pulled out her laptop and clicked through several tabs.

“Ah-ah-ah! No peeking!” Min scolded as the three others attempted to look over her shoulder. “You have it?”

“Yes,” Mikayla announced proudly. “Drumroll, please?” Grace patted her legs, Kez banged on the table, and Ryan loosely strummed his guitar. Once a steady roll got going, Mikayla flipped the laptop on the table. “Say hello to the Chronic Cranes!”

Grace covered her mouth in a gasp. “Oh my god!”

The sleek body of an off white crane swooped downwards, wings pulled back in fierce elegance. The bird reared one foot back and outstretched the other to land, both feet adorning red wheels. Fuschia flames licked the ends of the crane’ black-tipped wings and the landing foot, matching the outline of the bird as a whole. It’s beak curved downward in tandem with the black and red circles behind it, sketchy block letters labeling it ‘Chronic Cranes.’

“This is gorgeous!” Grace exclaimed as she zoomed in on the image. “You two did this in just a few days?”

“We both had a break between classes on Monday, so I came up with the design and he helped me iron it out!” Mikayla explained proudly. “I did most of the drawing, but the pink flames were Min’s idea.”

“Oh, please,” Min said, face heating up. “You did all the heavy lifting.”

“But I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Yeah, dude,” Ryan agreed. “This is really cool.”

“Guys, really, I didn’t do that much.”

“The two artists giving us wings,” Kez whooped, taking both Min and Mikayla by the shoulders to give both of them a cheek kiss. “Call that M&M’s.” The two artists giggled, ticklish from the kisses.

“Hey, Min?” Turning around from the embrace, Min faced Ryan, who was tucking his guitar back in its case. “Since you’ve been doing stuff for the team, maybe we could pay you back and help you with this finance homework?”

“You and finance?! That’s like oil and vinegar.” Min couldn’t help but snort. “Besides, how would you know how to do it?”

“I don’t.” Ryan shrugged as he reached for the papers in Min’s bag. “You just told the guy you’d do his homework. Never said it had to be correct.” He stuck his tongue out playfully in Min’s face.

“Ryan!” Min half squawked, half giggled. After a quick shove, he scooched his chair closer to Ryan’s, fumbling with the worksheets.

“This really is amazing, guys,” Grace mused, mostly to herself. The team was still committed to playing, even though the party last weekend was a disaster. There should be a way to make it up to them.

“Say,” she started, twirling around her pen between her fingers. “What if we had a party with just us? To celebrate how far we’ve come.”

The puffball on Kez’s toque bobbed up. “Really?”

“Yeah, we can have it on our turf, and just invite whoever we wanna invite,” she suggested, noting the specific glint in Mikayla’s eye.

“Well, what kind of party were you thinking?” Ryan asked.

Grace smirked. “So a certain holiday is around the corner…”

Chapter Text

“Look at that, you’re a natural!” The captain praised. The protegee squealed in delight at the turn she was able to make. She smiled in all her missing-baby-tooth glory, and the captain smiled back fondly.

“You even look like a derby player with that smile.” She ruffled her hair. This pleased the protegee immensely, and she did a little dance.

Two deep laughs bellowed from across the rink. Looking up, the pair saw another pair getting along. It was…the second-in-command and the protegee’s guardian? They weren’t hugging or anything like that, but they still seemed more pleasant than when the session started off.

“Do you think it’s working?” The protegee asked. “Do you think they’re becoming friends?”

The captain did have a conversation about the guardian with the second-in-command earlier before the session.

“God, why can’t we just get rid of the null already?” he had complained.

“You see how strong and protective she is. If we try to scare her off physically, she could put up a serious fight and take away our newest player,” the captain had rationalized. “We’ll have the rest of the Apex to help soon enough. Once she sees it’s all kids, she’ll stop coming out and we won’t have to worry about her anymore.”

The second-in-command had given her a wary eye. “You don’t think she’ll snitch?”

“If she hasn’t by now, I don’t think she’s going to.”

He turned away, and then smirked. “Bet you I can take her solo.”

A weight had sunken into the captain’s chest. She had shaken it off with a playful smile. “No, come on.”

His eyebrow had raised. “Is that a dare?”

Her face had turned stony, as she had to put down the gavel. “No.”

And that was the end of that conversation.

“Maybe,” the captain said wistfully. She took the protegee’s hand and skated over to the others. “How’s it going?”

“Pretty. Good,” the guardian spoke in her lethargic fashion. She smiled at the second-in-command, and he shared it.

Suddenly, the loudspeaker blared.

“Hello, visitors of the Color Clock Rink! My name is Roy, and I’m your boy,” Roy said in typical fashion. “Due to some technical difficulties, the rink will be closing early-”

“THERE’S A RABID RACCOON IN HERE!” A stray voice screamed. “RUN!”

The crowd immediately yelled, trampling on one another to get out. In the flurry, the captain and second-in command got pushed out of the rink. Noticing the other two got split up, they turned around and noticed they got stuck behind the rink wall in the flurry.

“Throw her to us!” The second-in-command shouted.

“We got you, I promise!” The captain held out her arms.

“No, wait!” The protegee cried. Her guardian shushed her, sharing some comforting words. It was brief, as the girl was launched into the air. The captain rushed in to catch her, nodding to assure her she was safe. The two of them looked up, and gasped.

The guardian got knocked over, struggling to pull herself up on the rink wall.

“No!” The protegee reached out for her.

“Get outside! I’ll go back for her.” The second-in-command said. The captain nodded and left the rink. She trusted him with her life. He would do good by her.

“Woah, this is nice!” Grace whistled at the building as she got out of the car. Its elegant masonry, pointed rooftops, and colorful, geometric stained glass made it look like a castle. “Kez’s family really owns this place?”

“Well, it’s kind of a long story,” Min answered as he grabbed two trays before kneeing his door shut. “Her and Morgan’s parents co-owned it since they were kids, and then the business got passed down to both of them. Though I think Morgan’s the one running things.”

“And she’s okay with Kez having a party?” Grace asked. She pushed through the glass doors into an ornate lobby. It was empty, as Kez directed them to go straight to their room. “You know, after…everything?”

After Grace suggested her idea for a party, Kez concocted a plan to split the price on a suite so they could spend the night together. She was able to get a discount considering she worked as a bellhop here, but Grace wondered if she considered…other factors.

“Morgan’s actually away this weekend? At least that’s what Kez told me.” Min shrugged as he pushed the button on the elevator. “Kez keeps trying to talk to her, but she’s been leaving here a lot more, and apparently that’s VERY weird for Morgan.”

“Maybe she just needs space?” Grace guessed. “It sounds like they went through a lot.”

“Maybe. I just don’t want Kez to get hurt, you know? I know she messes up, but she tries,” Min said wistfully. “And that’s what counts. To me, anyway.”

Grace clenched the box she was holding a little tighter. “Yeah, I hear you.”

Min adjusted the collar of his black jacket. The dark denim outfit was covered in duct tape and red yarn to imitate wires and buttons on a control board; his explanation of the costume was so convoluted that it got lost on Grace every time.

He looked quizzically at Grace’s outfit. “What are you supposed to be, anyway?”

She wore an all black ensemble of a blazer, skirt, fishnets, and boots. Ruby earrings dangled from her ears, and a choker with a little origami bat hung around her neck. The outfit was completed with simple dark eyeshadow and red lipstick.

It took Grace a while to decide what costume to wear. There was an old costume from last year, something she did for her friends that liked Pokemon. However, just pulling it out of its box brought back sour memories…

“Just a vampire. Didn’t feel like buying too many costume parts,” Grace shrugged. Min raised his eyebrows and scoffed. “What?”

“That’s the laziest vampire costume I’ve ever seen. You don’t even have fangs!”

“What? It’s implied!”

“You just look like a goth.”

“Wooow!”

A smirk crept up on his lips. “A mall goth.”

“WOOOOW!” Grace didn’t let the insult get to her. “Big words from the walking keyboard.”

The grouchy face reappeared. “We’ve been over this, I’m a synthesizer!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Grace rolled her eyes. “At least I’m dressed for Halloween.”

The laughter subsided. “Sooooo,” Grace drawled out. “How are things with Ryan?”

“Good,” he said quietly. “He’s been helping me with Perry’s homework scam.” He paused. “Well, I do the homework and he forges it and makes jokes about my classmates.”

“The incorrect homework thing didn’t work?” Grace said. “What a dick.”

“Hey, he’s paying for this at least.” Min nodded his head towards the box in Grace’s hands.

“But homework? That’s all you and Ryan do together?”

“No! No, we’ve uh, hung out.” Min’s mouth twitched back and forth. “And maybe had a few jam sessions.”

Grace smiled at this news. “Chicken Choice Judy reunion?” Min barked out a laugh, dry and humorless. “It’s not a bad thing, Min. I’ve seen your pocket synth out at practice, I know it’s not homework. It could be a good break from finance.”

Min’s face fell. “It’s just a toy.”

“Whatever you say.” Grace shrugged, knowing better than to push it.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Cheer squad. Once you get off probation, do you really wanna go back?”

Grace’s shoulders stiffened. “I mean, why wouldn’t I?”

“Well, you told everyone you quit that team, and derby has been taking up a lot of time, so I just thought-”

On cue, the elevator door dinged and opened. Min sighed, looking into the hall. “Nevermind.”

The two of them walked silently to the designated hotel room door that Kez gave them: 202. Min knocked on the door three times. After a moment, it cracked open a sliver, held back by the chain lock. “Password?”

“Kez, come on, you know it’s us,” Min groaned.

“None shall enter without the password.”

Rolling his eyes, he turned to Grace. “I said it last time.”

Tilting her head back, Grace released a prolonged groan. She huffed, “Get dazzled.”

The lock swiftly clinked and the door widened, Kez opening her arms like any gracious host. “Welcome to the party, corpses.”

The hotel room was pretty spacious, large enough for 2 queen sized beds and a couch by the window. A large TV was playing a horror movie; the volume was turned all the way down since music was also playing on a stereo. Orange and black streamers covered the tapestries on the walls. Fake plastic candles illuminated the beautiful stained glass windows. Card tables as well as beautiful wooden desks held the food spread. It was a strange clash of historic building and garish college get-together.

“Would you like some witch’s brew?” Kez swung her ladle around. “Made it myself.”

“I thought you didn’t drink?” Grace asked, putting her box under the table.

“Just because I can’t drink doesn’t mean I can’t make drinks. Besides, I have a taste tester. Speaking of which.” She turned over her shoulder. “Ry-Guy! I need your mouth for a sec.”

“Why do you always phrase it like that?” Min grumbled. He rubbed his temples in exasperation.

Kez ignored him, pouring some dark blue liquid into a cup. Ryan swooped over and took a swig. “Mhm! Perfect!” He said with a thumbs up.

“Thank you! And we have another brew, which has no alcohol OR pineapple!” Kez smiled proudly while gesturing to a punch bowl of green liquid. “When we were in the grocery store, I stomped on the cursed juice jugs.”

“You didn’t have to,” Mikayla pointed out. “It’s not gonna, like, judo-kick me or anything like that.”

“You never know,” Kez said seriously, as if she was a protagonist in a western. Her cheery exterior returned quickly, though. “By the way, thanks for doing this today and not Friday.”

“Yeah of course!” Mikayla said. “I’m lucky my teacher canceled my 8 am.”

“What did you have on for tomorrow, anyways?” Grace asked.

“Oh, well on Fridays the Muslim Student Association holds prayer days, so I’m trying to get back into going. Typically Morgan and I-” Kez froze, as if saying Morgan’s name was enough to paralyze her. Before anyone could interrupt, she shook her head. “But anyways! Let’s party.”

There were a bunch of different snacks on the table, from mummified mini hot dogs to chocolate cupcakes with pretzel spider legs sticking out. Pepperoni jack-o-lantern pizzas were there from none other than Nancy’s, likely brought by Mikayla. Ryan didn’t fail to make his famous brownies, which had eyeball sprinkles in them. Min removed the foil from his two trays as he set them down on the table: one with seasoned meat, and one with white rice pushed into a ghost shape. A little toothpick with a sign in the meat said ‘boo-golgi’, because it wouldn’t be made by Min if it didn’t have an explanation for the punchline. How he managed to marinate and cook it in a tiny college dorm was beyond Grace, but she wasn’t complaining because DAMN it was good. And of course, Grace poured a few bags of chips into bowls; cooking wasn’t her favorite activity, so she figured some store bought snacks never hurt.

“So…” Grace took a sip from her drink and looked at each of her friend’s costumes. “Who are you all supposed to be?” She raised an eyebrow at Kez. “No cowgirl Kez tonight?”

“Hey! First of all, that look is called Cactus Kez, and second, I’m no one trick pony!” Kez crowed defensively. “I’m a time traveling alien!”  

She was wearing a yellow puffer coat, but the rest of her clothes were all green. Her silver hat was replaced with a green one with big, buggy eyes and a long antenna sticking up. Obscuring her face were a pair of dark sunglasses pointed up at the outer corners. She held up what looked like a thermostat dial. “This is how I time travel.”

“Really?” Min mused. “Well, what’s the parka for?”

“My annual alien ski trip, obviously,” Kez said.

“Oh! Do you travel back in time so you don’t ever miss a trip?” Mikayla theorized excitedly.

“No.”

“Oh.” Everyone stared at Kez and she looked back, only blinking once.

“Anyways, what about you, Ryan?” Grace coughed.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Ryan held up the ends of his red cardigan. He wore a white v-neck shirt and black pants was underneath it. A simple silver chain hung around his neck. His hair was puffier than usual, and it seemed to fluff more in annoyance when nobody answered him. “I’m Freddie Mercury!” More silence. “From Queen?”

“Ooooh! Is this the Queen II era?” Min bumped his head. “Should’ve known with that red velvet jacket.”

“Yeah!”

“I thought he had a mustache?” Mikayla said, confused.

“That was way later!” Ryan waved a hand. “When Queen started, they all had this long hair that made them look 2 inches taller. He didn’t cut off his hair and grow the mustache until like, their 8th album.”

“Well, it suits you,” Min said without thinking. Ryan looked up at him, and Min quickly covered his face with his hand. A flush ran across Ryan’s cheeks, but he shook it off.

“For someone who knows a lot about this guy, you didn’t exactly pick his most iconic look,” Grace teased, flicking a strand of hair. “I thought you were a shady casino owner or something.”

“Everyone’s a critic,” Ryan huffed, casting a side glance at Grace. “What are you, anyways? A Hot Topic kid or something?”

“Dude!” Grace gestured sharply to her outfit. “Vampire?”

“Wait, really?” Kez scratched her head. “Where are your fangs?”

“I don’t know, I was asking the same thing,” Min said pointedly.

“Oh, you asshole!” Grace tried to reach up to muss his hair, but he blocked her. Soon they were a tangle of arms deflecting one another. After a few seconds, she finally managed to knock a tiny hair loose on Min’s forehead. “Gotcha!”

“Hey! It took me ten minutes to get it to stick!” Min grumbled. He attempted to push the hair back to no avail. It was so goofy everyone couldn’t help but laugh, Ryan’s chuckles being the loudest.

“Min, what are you supposed to be?” Mikayla asked.

“Oh! So I’m a synthesizer,” Min began his long winded explanation. “So you see, all these strings are the cables that would connect to different modules of a synth, or a patch. So you could also say this is my…patch jacket!” He held his hands out in a star pose, grinning as he awaited credit for his pun.

It took 3 seconds before a singular laugh hit the room. “AHA! That’s great, Min!” Ryan clapped his hands together in glee. “You should’ve told me, I would have matched with you.”

“Really?” Min suddenly looked very alert. “It’s not too…geeky for you?”

“Not at all! Besides, Halloween is the time TO be geeky,” Ryan assured him with a smile. “I bet even Blake is gonna do something that outs him as a nerd.”

“Blake’s coming?” Grace said in surprise. “He never answered the group chat, though.”

“Well, I texted him directly and he said he was going to stop by after work tonight.” Mikayla brought up her phone. “He even sent me pictures of his costume.”

The entire team huddled around her to see. Blake wore an old green flannel and a straw hat. A burlap sack with jagged holes cut out for the eyes and mouth covered his face in one picture, and then was pulled up to reveal him sticking his tongue out. On his shoulder sat a rat wearing a white, purple, and green doily as a collar.

“Aww, is Turnip a turnip?” Kez pointed at the photo.

“Yeah! He’s so cute! Blake sends me photos of him all the time.” Mikayla continued to scroll through the pictures, one of them being Turnip eating a pile of root vegetables.

“Wait a second.” Ryan zoomed in on one of the photos. “If Turnip is eating turnips in a turnip costume, does that make him a cannibal?”

The entire team looked at one another.

“Would he…?” Min started to ask.

“It’s Blake,” Grace answered. “He definitely would.” Everyone laughed in agreement. These past 2 months everyone became more accustomed to each other’s sense of humor, wearing each other in like a loved pair of skates.

A loud buzz rattled Mikayla, who quickly clicked out of her photos to check her notifications. The light in her eyes dimmed out as she read the screen, smile withering away. “Uh, looks like we’re down one person tonight,” she mumbled. “Tulip says she can’t make it.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Mikayla,” Grace comforted.

“It’s fine, she said she had a last minute group project for school, but…she promised she’d come tonight,” Mikayla sighed. “She was really excited about it, too. We even planned matching costumes!”

“Really? What were you supposed be?” Min-Gi asked. Mikayla looked more like she was dressed for prom than Halloween, wearing a crimson gown that would put Cinderella to shame. The collar of a mint button-up shirt peeked out of the top of her dress, and she attached green yarn to the golden buttons on her shoulders to look like tassels. A purple wig and round glasses finished the ensemble.

“Oh, well…it’s from this anime from the 90’s.” Mikayla clenched her skirt. “You probably haven’t heard of it.”

“Hey, I was around during the 90’s!” Kez protested. She scanned her dress, and Mikayla looked even more nervous. “Wait a second…you’re that girl from Revolutionary Girl Utena, aren’t you!”

Mikayla’s eyes widened. “You…know about Utena?”

“Of course I do, I’m bisexual.”

“I’m sorry, what are you two talking about?” Grace interrupted.

“Oh, it’s this old anime that was an edgier version of magical girl stuff.” Kez waved a hand. “I only really remember the movie, where the pink-haired girl turns into a car.”

Ryan furrowed his brow. “Was…Tulip coming as a car?”

“It doesn’t matter because she’s not coming at all!” Mikayla yelled, ripping off her wig and plopping down on the couch with her face in her hands. Her skirt poofed up with what Grace could only describe as the despair of a bride left at the altar.

“Hey, it’s okay!” Ryan encouraged as he sat next to her. “Sometimes you just have to realize people aren’t always reliable, and you should just keep going. They wanna leave you behind, don’t wait up for them! The only person you can depend on is yourself, so getting your hopes up about others is useless, you know?” He finished with a placid smile while everyone gave him a disturbed stare.

“Wow,” Kez said. “You must really be hung up about those video games.” Grace couldn’t be fooled as easily, noting Min was shuffling his feet on the floor.

“Kind of a weird thing to say when you’re on a team, Ryan.” Grace sat down next to him, crossing her legs. “Are you saying you can’t depend on us?”

“What? No!” Ryan blustered.

“Too good for your friends?” Grace suddenly got him in a headlock, ruffling his hair.

“Hey, I didn’t say that!” Ryan grunted. “I just meant be careful who you trust!” He pinched Grace’s sides.

“Ah! You little shit!” Grace squealed as Ryan wrestled out of her grip. He playfully managed to push her off the couch and onto the floor.

“Owwww,’ Grace cried, a little too dramatically.

“Oh my god,” Ryan stood up from the couch. “Are you okay?”

Quickly, Grace kicked out his legs from underneath him, sending him crashing to the floor. She expected Ryan to drop his head in defeat, the way he did at their first blocking practice.

But instead, laughter bubbled out of his throat. “Oh, you motherfucker!” He lunged at Grace, fingers flying. Soon she found he was tickling her, and she laughed right back. The two rolled around, wrestling for some form of leverage while failing to maintain composure.

“I gotchu, Gracelet!” Kez called as she descended towards the chaos, trying to outnumber Ryan in his tickles.

“Ryan!” Min attempted to pull him out of the tickle-fight pile, but found himself yanked to the floor as well. He tried to get up, but succumbed to the allure of play-fighting. Limbs flew everywhere; it was pure luck no one got kicked in the face. Eventually they all gave up on the war, sighing and laughing in a heap on top of one another.

A loud groan interrupted the giggle fit. Mikayla was still crumpled up on the couch, not even trying to feign a laugh. Hair was wrapped around her fists, as if she was trying to clench her anguish away.

Everyone on the floor frowned at one another with creased brows. It didn’t work.

Grace joined Mikayla on the couch. “Hey, the wig seemed to ruffle your hair a bit. Do you want me to fix it for you?”

“The costume is really supposed to go with the wig,” Mikayla grumbled. “But…my comb’s in the side pocket of my bag.”

“Well, costume or no costume, I really like your hair as it is,” Grace said, filing through the bag.

“Yeah, you could always dye it purple if you wanted,” Ryan suggested.

“You’d look like a total star with purple hair,” Kez agreed. She put a hand on her chin. “Or a…blueberry? Wait, that’s blue.”

Min-Gi scratched the back of his head. “No, they’re a little purple when you squash them.”

“I don’t know, guys.” Mikayla propped her chin in her hands so she was looking up. “What if it messes up my hair?”

“You probably just need to take some extra steps that wouldn’t damage it,” Grace said as she started to comb through her curls. “I don’t blame you for being nervous though, your curls are gorgeous.”

Mikayla glanced up. “You think so?”

“I know so! I love your hair, it’s super pretty.” Grace chuckled to herself. “I wish I got to play with my hair a bit more when I was younger.”

“You didn’t?” Mikayla asked. “How did you grow out your locs, then?”

“Well, my mother always liked my hair straight as a kid.” The strands of Mikayla’s hair ran through the comb like ocean waves. “So when she sent me to boarding school where I had no one watching me, I chopped it off.”

Kez nearly spat her drink out. “No way! That’s like, pretty metal!”

“All by yourself?” Ryan asked, and Grace hummed affirmatively. He gave an approving, toothy grin. “I had no idea you had a punk phase, Grace.”

“How’d your mom react?” Min asked, a little fidgety.

“Unhappy, as always!” Grace scoffed. “So she got me a wig until my hair got longer again. But I was away from her so much that I could keep growing my locs out and save the wig for when I saw her. It’s funny, I don’t even think she noticed it wasn’t my real hair after a while.”

After a few seconds, Grace realized the swoosh of the comb was the only noise. She looked up and noticed everyone staring at her. “What?”

Everyone immediately looked away. “Nothing, uh…Mikayla’s crown! Here you go,” Ryan said, picking the tiara out of the wig and handing it to Grace. She ignored the way he barely stifled a frown.

“Alright, and here you go,” Grace said as she fastened the crown on Mikayla’s head. She pulled out her compact mirror for her. “See? You’re a beautiful princess.”

“Thanks, Grace,” Mikayla said softly.

“And listen.” Grace wrapped her arms around Mikayla’s shoulders. “You always have us if you need anything, okay?”

Mikayla smiled for the first time since she got Tulip’s text. “Okay.” She turned and hugged Grace back.

“Alright, now let’s get to the party!” Grace leapt up. She knelt under the table. “It’s present time!”

“Halloween isn’t, like, a present holiday, though?” Kez said.

“Most people’s Halloweens aren’t.” Grace held out the box to everyone. “But Min and I have a surprise for you guys!”

She opened the flap, and all three of them gasped. “Gear?!”

“Mhm-hm!” Grace smiled, placing the box on the bed. “We’ve been shopping around for a while. Some of it we had to get used, but most of it’s new.” Her face darkened. “I was not taking a chance on old helmets giving you lice.”

“This! Is! So! Cool!” Kez hopped as she tried to tug a kneepad over her pants. She would have fallen, had Mikayla not caught her.

“So,” Ryan said as he flexed his fingers in his wrist guard. “Does this mean Min is free from his deal with the devil?”

“I wish,” Min muttered. “He said it was until ‘the end of the semester,’ even though it was never in writing.”

“I’m surprised you just don’t tell him to fuck off,” Grace said.

“I don’t know, he could tattle on me if I back out.” Min shrugged, and Ryan frowned at him. “Besides, we still need to buy uniforms.”

“Ooh! I got the site to order them, but I just need names to put on them.” Mikayla waved her now padded elbow.

“Right, derby names!” Grace brightened. “Let’s come up with them right now!”

“How, though? Don’t they need a lot of thought?” Min asked.

“Well, it needs just enough thought. It has to be unique to you, nothing vague or similar to other names in the league,” Grace explained. “You can really relate it to anything about you. Job, hobbies, interests, personality, that weird special item you own. And then you can tie it back to skating, or even just something that sounds bad-ass.”

“What’s your derby name?” Mikayla asked.

Grace took a step back. “My name?”

“Yeah, you know so much about derby, I thought you’d have a name.” She sat on the bed, grabbing her note book and settling atop a pillow. “C’mon, what is it?”

“Oh, uh,” Grace hesitated. “I…used to have one. But it was really dumb and childish.” Her cheeks puffed out and she sputtered another sentence before being further questioned. “But! For example, I can relate my derby name to something I like, like dancing, or birds.”

“Ooh! Maybe we could combine those things,” Ryan suggested, putting a hand on his chin. Quickly putting together the pieces in her mind, goosebumps rose on Grace’s arms. “Now what’s a ballet that has birds…?”

“The Firebird!” Grace blurted out. She held her breath shortly after.

Everyone stared at her in confusion. “The what?”

“The Firebird, by Igor Stravinsky,” she answered, relieved that she gave an actual answer. Luckily, her school activities kept it fresh in her mind. “It’s about this magic bird that gave some guy her feathers after he spared her while hunting. Blake and I learned about it in dance history class.”

“Firebird?” Min scratched the side of his head. “You mean, like a phoenix?”

“Yeah! Yeah, exactly.” Grace felt her heart rate slow down. “Let’s come back to it later! Kez, do you have any ideas?”

“Easy. I’m Hell’s Belle,” Kez answered without missing a beat. “But with an E at the end.”

“That was quick,” Grace chuckled. “How are you so sure?”

“I’m a concierge, and you got the concierge bells, so…” Kez paused to pull a mini concierge bell off of her keychain. “Tada!”

“Why do you carry a bell with your keys?” Mikayla tilted her head curiously.

“I just think they’re neat,” Kez shrugged while she clicked the ringer. “Besides, you never know when you’ll need a pocket bell.”

“You are lucky that thing doesn’t jingle, otherwise I would’ve lost my mind.” Min muttered with a shake of the head. “Damn thing reminds me of Dumpty’s.” Kez playfully rang the bell, and Min jerked upward automatically, a blank look replaced with a scowl.

“What about you, Ryan?” Grace flicked a lock of Ryan’s hair, but he didn’t move. His hands were folded over his face in contemplation. “Ryan?”

“I don’t know,” he groaned. “I keep trying to think of a clever pun, but nothing’s clicking.”

“Well, maybe start with a concept first, and then something will come to you,” Min suggested. “It might work better than trying to force something.”

“Yeah, exactly!” Grace agreed. “You like music, right? What are some musicians you like?”

Ryan leaned back and crossed his hands behind his head, exhaling slowly. “Well, I like older rock music. David Bowie, The Clash, The Runaways, Jimmi Hendrix, YMO…”

“Who’s YMO?” Grace asked.

“Grace, they’re on the joint playlist I made for the car!” Min squawked in disbelief.

“How was I supposed to know?”

“Because you can see the songs!” A hand on Min’s shoulder fizzled him down, Ryan laughing as he threw an arm around his shoulder.

“I appreciate the effort to spread the word, Min,” he said kindly. “But yeah, YMO, or Yellow Magic Orchestra, is an electro Japanese band from the 70’s and 80’s. ‘Behind the Mask’ is fantastic, but there’s a lot of good songs, and a good chunk were written by-” The rant abruptly stopped, Ryan’s jaw snapping shut and eyes ballooning wide.

“Ryan?” Min nudged him.

“Guys, I have my roller derby name,” Ryan said in barely restrained elation, hands on his hips. “My name is, drumroll please.” The team tapped on their laps together, completely out of sync until Ryan raised a hand triumphantly. “Ryuichi Smackamoto!”

A bright smile addressed his teammates, only to be met with blank stares. “Who?”

“Ryuichi Smackamoto! Ryuichi Sakamoto was one of the founding members of YMO. I figure I’m a blocker, I smack people, Smack-amoto!” Ryan explained proudly while making a punching gesture. “Pretty clever, eh?”

Before Grace could tease him about the obscure reference, someone spoke up. “I like it.” A soft smile crossed Min’s face.

“Really?” Ryan beamed, smile bright enough to blind someone.

“Yeah, it feels right. Besides, maybe more people will listen to YMO that way.” The two high fived, Ryan doing a little victory dance.

“Well, it’s definitely unique,” Grace conceded with a small chuckle. “I don’t think anyone else is gonna have that name.”

“All the better, right?” Ryan said.

The smile crossed Grace’s face as well. “Yeah, all the better.” She turned to Mikayla. “What about you, ‘Kayla? You have any ideas?”

“Mhm, I dunno,” Mikayla sighed. “I feel like I’m not really threatening, so nothing is coming to me.” She finished the sentence with air quotes.

“Come on, I keep telling you, you don’t need to be an aggressive hard-head to be in roller derby.” Grace nudged her arm. “Besides, if everyone was like that it would be a disaster.”

“The party was hard proof,” Min mumbled with raised eyebrows before receiving an admonishing elbow from Ryan. “But, um, we really like having you here.”

“Yeah, you’re like, the sweetest person,” Kez added.

“But you still hold your own,” Ryan included.

Mikayla flipped through her notebook. She stopped for a moment, staring at the page. She stood up from the bed, facing away from her teammates. “I think I know who I wanna be.”

The team shared bewildered looks before facing her again. “Okay?” Grace crossed her arms. “Whatcha got?”

“I want to be there for my friends. I want to be someone who can come out better of a bad situation. I want to be the champion of justice,” Mikayla said lowly, almost theatrically. “In the name of the moon, I will right wrong and triumph over evil! I’m Sailor Doom!” She whipped around and flashed a smile, holding a peace sign with a thumb over her forehead.

The audience stared at her wide eyed. Not a split second later, everyone cheered and stampeded in to hug her.

“You are so ADORABLE!” Ryan screeched as he jumped around with her in his arms.

“Have I ever told you I love you so much?” Kez whispered, squished against her cheek.

“It’s a good name!” Grace said.

“I gotta ask, though,” Min began. “You could have picked any anime. Why Sailor Moon?”

“Well, Tulip and I used to watch it together, but I really got into it after I left Minnesota,” Mikayla explained. “I had trouble making friends for a while, so it was nice having a story where this hero of the universe still struggled with regular issues and had friends who had her back.”

Grace glanced at the open book on the bed to see a drawing on the page. It was a doodle of a smiling, fat girl with sparkles for freckles and an afro held back by a large bow. She did a pose similar to what Mikayla did for her name drop, wearing a heart patterned dress and roller skates that seemed to shoot beams of starlight.

Looking up from the drawing, she patted the top of Mikayla’s head. “I think it’s perfect.” She squeezed Kez and Ryan by the shoulders. “I think all your names are perfect.”

“Now we should give Min a name!” Ryan exclaimed.

“What?!” Min shrieked, hair practically standing on end. “Ryan, I don’t even skate.”

“But you’re an honorary member, come on,” Ryan egged on. “I’ll even come up with it for you, we can have matching YMO names.”

“You could join in on the fun!” Mikayla added.

“Yeah, it’s either that or Minsters, which I know you hate.” Kez poked his shoulder.

“Hmm,” Grace hummed before trilling her lips. Her eyes caught Min-Gi’s, and a devious smile crawled upon her face.

Min seemed to catch on, as his own eyes filled with dread. “Oh, no.”

“What?” Grace said innocently.

“Nope. Not doing it.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“You didn’t need to.” His finger circled around his face. “You’re giving me the-you know-the look.”

Grace scoffed. “Min, come here.” Disgruntled, he marched over to Grace. She leaned up and whispered in his ear. He jolted as if he got zapped by lightning.

“I won’t push it if you’re not comfortable, but I think it could be fun.” Grace held out her hand to shake. “So what do you say? You wanna be the team’s morale?”

Min stared at her hand, making sure there were no tricks up her sleeve. Finally, he shook it. “But only once!”

“Okay!”

“What’s only once?” Kez asked. They had everyone’s rapt attention now.

“Since tryouts are in a few weeks, we should give ourselves a goal to keep us motivated. So if we win tryouts and get into the main competition…” Grace lingered for dramatic effect, leaving everyone in baited breath. She nodded towards Min to finish.

Min let out a cartoonishly long groan before speaking. “I’ll go roller skating with you all.” Everyone was ready to shout excitedly before he held up his pointer finger. “Non-competitively! No racing, no roughhousing, no wild jumps or gymnastics.”

A squeal burst from everyone, jumping as if that was a victory in itself. They huddled around Min-Gi and began cheering him on.

“Yes, Min, yes!” Ryan grabbed Min’s hand excitedly, waving it around. “I’ll teach you all you need to know about skating, it’ll be so much fun!”

“Alright, alright!” Min barely hid the chuckle in his voice, cheeks warming up. “You have to win first, remember that!”

“Ry-Guy! We need pump-up music!” Kez ordered. Ryan saluted and dropped Min’s hand before darting to the stereo. Min traced a thumb from his opposite hand into his palm. Grace nudged his elbow and gave him a little smile, and he only returned it after rolling his eyes.

The haunted house music was abruptly cut off. Ryan placed the record on the player. A heavy guitar riff began to play as the needle dropped.

‘Just like the white winged-dove, sings the song sound’s like she’s singing, who, who, who.’

“Wait a minute.” Grace’s ears perked in recognition. “I’ve heard this song!”

“Of course you do, it’s really popular!” Ryan exclaimed. “Stevie Nicks. Pretty good, huh?”

Grace nodded her head back and forth to the music, trying not to show too much interest. “It’s alright.”

“Just alright?” He began to snap his fingers rhythmically.

The corner of her lips tugged upwards. “Mhm, maybe a little more than that.”

“Yeah?” Ryan looked at her with elation. “Come on, let’s dance!”

“You really wanna dance?”

“You’re studying it. Need to keep in practice, right?”

Taking it as a challenge, Grace held out both her hands. Ryan grabbed them right back, only to find himself be spun in a circle. The two of them laughed as they went in circles.

A tinny, beeping noise joined the stereo. Grace turned to see Min playing along on his mini-synth, nodding his head along with a tiny smile. She expertly twirled Ryan out so he fell into Min’s arms. The synth nearly slipped out of Min’s hands before Ryan caught it, handing it back.

Grace then reached out for Mikayla and dipped her, sending her red skirts flying. Mikayla laughed, attempting to switch the roles. A half dip lowered Grace, and she kicked out her leg in a dramatic gesture.

Once she was upright again, Grace made eye contact with Kez, who lifted her arms straight up. Getting the cue, Grace snuck over and scooped Kez into the air. It was a little less ‘Dirty Dancing,’ and a little more holding a cat up to the camera while their legs stretched out leisurely. Everyone was cheering at that one. Once Kez was lowered to the ground, she was jumping over to dance with Mikayla.

“Singing, ooh, yeah ooh, ooh,” Grace found herself singing along. Normally she wasn’t huge on rock music, but something about this lady’s vocals buzzed Grace to the core, charging her with energy that made her ready for the track. “This is really good!”

“Yeah-ha! That’s Stevie Nicks for you,” Ryan laughed only to cut himself off with a gasp. “Wait a minute, that’s it!”

“What’s it?”

“You’re roller derby name! I’ve got it.” Ryan stood atop the bed, cupping his hands around his mouth. “Introducing to the rink, Stevie Phoenix!”

Grace cocked an eyebrow. “Stevie Phoenix?”

“Yeah! It makes total sense!” Ryan hopped down from the bed to rifle through the record collection. “You’re ballet is called the Firebird, which also means phoenix, phoenix rhymes with Nicks, Stevie Nicks studied ballet for a while, you’re studying ballet, and look!”

He stuck an album cover in Grace’s face, nearly knocking her in the nose. It was an album dubbed ‘Stevie Nicks-Belladonna.’ A blonde woman stood in a flowy white dress while holding a cockatoo in her hand. “She has a bird on her album cover, and you like birds! What do you think?”

“Stevie Phoenix is kind of a bad-ass name,” Kez agreed.

Grace eyed him dubiously. “Do you really think I’m like her?”

“Well, aside from the fact that you’re not a blonde lady and you don’t play music.” Ryan put a hand on his chin. “And  you don’t do drugs.” He frowned. “Or have had any love affairs that the media tore you apart for-”

“Okay! Maybe this isn’t the most fitting,” Grace said while she pushed the album out of her face.

“I don’t know, Grace. It sounds really cool,” Mikayla countered. “I don’t like every single part of Sailor Moon, but I still like it enough to use it as inspiration. Maybe it’s the same with this.”

“Her Fleetwood Mac stuff does remind me of you,” Min said, shrugging.

“Really, why?”

“I don’t know, I just get a vibe. You would know if you LISTENED TO MY PLAYLIST,” he said incredulously, too dramatic to be taken seriously. Still, Grace made a non-committal noise.

“Come on! Phoenix, Phoenix, Phoenix,” Ryan said in a whisper.

“Oh God,” Grace muttered.

“Phoenix, Phoenix, Phoenix,” Mikayla and Kez joined, and soon all three of them surrounded her in a circle. The chant grew in volume and became enunciated by claps. “Phoenix! Phoenix! Phoenix! Phoenix!” Grace covered her face to hide her laughter, her teammates relentless. She tried to look to Min for help, but he just shrugged with a lopsided grin.

She sighed dramatically in defeat. “Alright, I’ll use it as a placeholder!”

“PHOENIX!” Her teammates all clobbered her in a hug. Min hovered over the group for a minute before Ryan yanked him in as well. The chant got mixed in with everyone singing along to the song. Grace rolled her eyes, but it couldn’t stop the warm feeling from spreading in her chest.

The protegee was shaking, eyes downcast. She huddled up against the captain’s shoulder. Both animal control and paramedics were parked outside of the rink, still investigating the cause of the disturbance inside the rink. And there was no sign of the other two from inside the rink.

“It’s fine, they’ll be okay!” The captain assured her.

Speak of the devil, the second-in-command walked out of the rink, wide smile on his face. The captain immediately brightened; she knew the two of them would make it through the stampede okay.

But then she realized he was alone.

“Where’s Tuba? Where’s Tuba?” The little girl sprang up from the curb, running towards the second-in-command. “Where is she?”

He knelt down to her level. “Don’t worry, you’re safe.” He placed his hands on her shoulders. “You never have to worry about that null again.”

A gurney left the rink, guarded by several EMTs for privacy. It was pushed into an ambulance.

The protegee backed away. “Is-is she-?”

A placid smile crossed the second-in-command’s face. “Yeah. I wheeled her. I know you might not understand now, but trust me-”

He was cut off by a shrill cry, tears flowing out of the girl’s eyes as she dashed away towards the edge of the woods. This didn’t seem to bother him, as his pleased expression never left his face.

The captain reached to call out to the girl, but she stumbled back as the second-in-command rose to his feet. “Told you I could take her solo! Let’s see, how many marks does that count for?” He pulled the neon green paint marker out of his pocket, drawing X’s up his forearms with a greedy expression. This was normal.

This used to be normal.

Situations like this were so normal between the two of them.

The current feeling of disgust in the captain’s gut was not normal. “Ugh!” She shook her head, walking off to comfort the protegee. The girl fled in tears, and all he could care about was a scoreboard?

The captain didn’t turn back to her second-in-command, even when she heard him say, “I thought you’d be happy!”

She forged through the trees, calling out the girl’s name. Eventually, sniffles could be heard between the bird calls and rustling of trees. Following a track of footprints in the mud, the captain froze and gasped.

The protegee fell into a batch of poison ivy, and it quickly spread into an angry rash on her skin.

“It’s my skin! It hurts!” the girl screamed, scratching her arms as if it would get it off.

“It’s poison ivy, come on, let’s get you out.” The captain tried to reach out.

The protegee flinched back and wailed. “No! I want Tuba!”

“She’s not here right now.”

“Let’s go get her!”

“We can’t, she’s going to the hospital,” the captain said sadly. “She’s not always going to be around.”

“What if I’m really good? I won’t do anything bad, ever.” The girl flung her arms around the captain, scared as if to lose anyone else. “Please.”

The captain hesitated, then crouched down. “Hey, come on.” The captain enveloped her into a hug. “It has nothing to do with you being good or bad. It’s not like that. It’s not your fault.”

It’s my fault , the captain thought to herself. She quickly shook the thought away, knowing it would get her nowhere. Wrapping the girl in her jacket, she walked her back to the parking lot, where the second-in-command stood, nonplussed.

“You guys were out there for a while.”

The captain snapped. “Don’t you ever take action like that again if I haven’t given you explicit orders!”

“Are you pulling rank on me?” he asked, defensive.

She glowered at him. “Yes.” She then turned towards the EMTs still there. The only other comment she heard was a muttered “yes, ma’am.”

The wide expanse of a rink floor overwhelmed the room. While it was covered in blue matting for roller skates, the unmistakably chilled air couldn’t hide that it was usually an ice rink. Even though it was still early, people began filtering in and making themselves at home in the audience seats. While those seats would be nowhere near as filled as they normally would for the rink’s normal hockey goers, a thrum of anticipation still hummed in the air.

Tonight was the night the Chronic Cranes skated competitively for the first time.

“I can’t believe we’re actually here,” Kez said in awe as she dropped her bag on the floor.

“It always feels unreal the first time, doesn’t it?” Grace mused.

“I’m still sorry the uniforms couldn’t come in on time,” Mikayla said. The manufacturer was delayed, so everyone was wearing their own black, pink and red clothes to signify their team.

“Hey, no worries! Once we get through tonight we’ll have plenty of chances to wear them, right?” Grace playfully nudged her shoulder with a smile. “Now let’s stretch.”

They began their regular warm up. As the minutes ticked by, an uneasy feeling settled into Grace’s stomach. “Anyone know where Ryan and Min are?”

“They said they’d come together,” Kez said. “They’re probably stuck in traffic.”

“It’s been ten minutes though,” Grace mentioned.

“I hope they’re okay,” Mikayla muttered. While Grace silently agreed, affirming it would give everyone unnecessary nerves. She had an extra surprise for the whole team, but she had given Min’s to him early in case they were strapped for time. Hopefully he didn’t spoil it for Ryan.

So instead of ruminating on the topic, Grace switched it. “Did either of you invite anybody to come?”

“I asked my roommates, but it’s always a gamble with them,” Mikayla bemoaned.

“Cool.” Kez went quiet for a minute before she spoke again. “I asked Morgan to come.”

“Oh? What’d she say?” Grace asked carefully.

“Nothing. I sent her a text but she didn’t answer,” Kez muttered despondently before switching her optimism back on. “But she could still come! She’s probably just busy with the hotel.”

Grace and Mikayla glanced at each dubiously. “Kez-”

“It’s fine! It’ll be great,” Kez interrupted, and the three of them stretched on the floor in awkward silence.

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” Ryan huffed as he bustled through the door. He was wearing his makeshift skater uniform, kneepads crooked on his legs and skates not fully tied on his feet.

“What happened, and where’s Min?” Mikayla asked, tilting her head towards the entrance with a concerned frown.

“He got stuck covering someone’s shift tonight at Dumpty’s,” Ryan grumbled as he tossed his skate bag to the floor. “And he didn’t find out until last minute, so I couldn’t get a ride, and I barely made it on the bus.”

A tiny pang vibrated in Grace’s chest. Min was always at every practice, even if he wasn’t always paying attention to what they were doing. She hoped he would at least be able to make tryouts to show off all their hard work and training.

“Oh, man,” Mikayla said, bummed out. “I was hoping he’d make it.”

“We need to bother him after,” Kez suggested.

“Well, of course we’re gonna bother him after! We need to rub our win in his face,” Ryan boasted. He pulled Kez to her feet, and the two of them laughed.

“Ahem.” A cough caused the team to jerk their heads up. Three people in identical yellow puffer vests stood there, arms crossed irritably. They were a tall, slender bald man, a short blonde woman, and a muscular person with short hair. “And you all are?”

“Oh! Hello, you must be running the game.” Grace pushed herself to her feet. She held out her hand to be shaken. “We’re just stretching for the tryouts tonight. We’re the Chronic Cranes.”

Instead of shaking her hand, the trio stared at it. Sheepishly, Grace lowered it, wiping it against her shorts. The blonde lady counted each person on the team with her eyes before looking at Grace again. “You only have four players.”

Everyone looked at each other in panic. Grace sputtered only for a moment, regaining composure quickly. “Now I know we look a little short-handed, but I promise we play like a five person team.”

The bald man did not look impressed. “Get out.”

Her heart sank. “Come on, it’s just a tryout. We can find a fifth by the time the actual tournament starts-”

“Roller derby needs five people on the track.”

“Please, we’ve been working so hard for months. Can we at least show you what we can do?”

The muscular person glowered over them, using their height for intimidation. “I’m sorry, but you can’t play with only four players-”

“We only have four players!” Everyone’s heads whipped towards a new voice coming from the back entrance of the rink. Four people clad in green stepped towards the officials, arms crossed. A fat, muscular girl stood towards the front, sporting blue, braided pigtails, yellow sports goggles, and striped, black and yellow skates. Behind her was a shorter guy with black spiky hair and blue kneepads, a muscular girl with a fish hook earring and a messy brown bun, and a limber girl with a long undercut dyed silver and tied back with a pom-pom scrunchie. They all looked closer to Mikayla’s age, the short guy maybe being a bit younger.

The blonde lady stepped around slowly, hands on hips. “Excuse me?”

“One of our players couldn’t make it tonight,” the girl with the braids said firmly. “It will be an even match.”

“Plus you have a whole crowd of people itching to see a game tonight, so the choice is yours,” the shorter guy added slyly.

Looking between the two teams, the yellow vested posse huddled together. After about fifteen seconds of harsh whispering, they turned outward again, scowling. “Alright, you have ten minutes.”

Mikayla stood up from her stretching spot on the ground. “Thank you so-”

“Hurry up,” the bald man snapped.

“What about our names-”

“We don’t need names for tryouts!” The blonde woman waved a hand. “Now go!”

“Okay! Okay.” The teams quickly snatched their bags and headed to the locker room.

“Alright, everyone,” Grace puffed as she reached into her bag. “It’s makeup time.”

“What kind of makeup are we doing?” Mikayla asked, pushing the door open.

“Anything you want, just team colors.” Unpacking her fanny pack, she laid out her containers of eyeshadow and face paint. “Don’t worry about making it perfect, it’ll get smeared once we really start playing. Just pick something fun.”

“I don’t have that kind of makeup, though.” Ryan sadly pulled an eyeliner stick out of his guitar case. “Just this I keep for shows.”

“It’s okay, I can do your makeup!” Grace offered as she gave him a friendly bump on the shoulders.

He glanced over to her, eyebrows raised. “Really?”

“Yeah, come on, sit down, hurry!” She waved him over to the bench nearest to her. Kez and Mikayla sat across them, dipping into the facepaint for themselves. “What do you want?”

Ryan drummed his hands on his legs for a moment. “You know the Ziggy Stardust look?” Grace looked at him blankly. The bench creaked as he leaned over. “Please tell me you know who David Bowie is.”

“Save the lecture, tell me what it looks like.”

“Big lightning bolt across one eye.”

“Perfect, pull your hair back for me.” The mass of brown bangs on Ryan’s forehead was pushed back with his glasses. Grace began to draw the zig zag shape with her eyeliner pencil, and he wrinkled his face at the contact. “Hold still, Ryan!”

“I am!”

“No, your eyes are twitching!”

“Well I wouldn’t twitch if you didn’t dig into my face!” Grace was about to argue back, but then noticed she was clenching the makeup tool in her hand.

She exhaled deeply. “Sorry. Just take a breath for me, okay?” Ryan complied, and the process went a lot smoother. “So, how are we feeling about our first derby bout?”

“Nervous. Really excited! But, nervous,” Mikayla chuckled across the way, out of breath. “This rink feels so much different than Blake’s.”

“Well, your first game always feels huge.” Grace dipped her eyeshadow brush in the pink pigment. “But then you kind of fill up the track if that makes sense? Like you take up more space, but in a good way.”

“Can’t wait to go zig-zagging!” Kez chirped.

“Yeah, just don’t zig-zag out of bounds,” Grace joked. “Besides, this will feel small once we play Pain Station.”

“Pain Station?” Ryan said with intrigue. “Sounds like an underground metal club. What is it?”

“It’s even cooler than that. It’s this disused train platform that’s under the main station that got revamped to be a flat track.”

“Really? That’s so cool! How’d they do that?” Mikayla asked, delighted.

“Not completely sure. It was taken over decades ago. No one really knows who did it, but…” Grace trailed off. The tip of her brush nearly trailed off the pattern before she snapped out of it. “I can’t wait to show you guys.”

Snapping her eyeshadow case closed, she handed Ryan her compact mirror. He picked it up and inspected his reflection carefully. “What do you think, Ry?”

The black of the pencil eyeliner crinkled as Ryan smiled. “I look…awesome!” he chuckled excitedly, finger tracing carefully outside the outline of the lightning bolt. She gave him dark pink eyeshadow on both eyes so the red of the lightning stood out even more. The smile on his face was similar to her own reflection when she painted her face for her first ever derby game.

Grace grinned in turn. “Welcome to derby, Ryuichi.” His grin doubled, teeth flashing with glee. “Belle! Sailor! Are you guys ready?”

“Yeah! Look!” Kez and Mikayla rushed over. Kez’s face was covered in pink and red sparkles akin to freckles. Mikayla had a sideways crescent moon in the center of her forehead, a sun on her right eye and a moon on her left.

“Look at you two!” Grace praised, while Ryan whistled playfully.

“You like it? I call it the dazzler.” Kez wiggled her fingers in mystique. Quick strokes of eyeliner implied the sparkle shapes, the color filling in the diamond shapes. It was a bit of a rush job, but from someone who had done it a million times.

“There weren’t too many Sailor Moon makeup tutorials that would stand out from under the helmet, so I had to improvise.” Mikayla scratched the side of her head. “I hope it looks okay.”

“It looks great! You look like an adorable bombshell!” Ryan squished her cheeks affectionately and she giggled.

“All of you are adorable bombshells!” Grace threw her arms around her teammates. “Now let’s get out there!”

“Whoa! Aren’t you forgetting something?” Kez slid in front of Grace as she headed for the door.

After a lip trill of consideration, Grace snapped her fingers. “Oh! You’re right!” She unzipped her fanny pack, digging around. With a flourish, she held out her palm. “To pin to your uniforms.”

Everyone gasped in unison. “Dibs on the red!” Ryan yelled as he snatched the red origami crane.

“Kez, which color do you like?” Mikayla asked.

“Oooh, I like purple,” Kez said. She took it and immediately began to attach it to her hijab; it was black with red flame decals on the bottom.

“Okay! Then I’ll take the yellow.” Mikayla plucked the yellow one.

Kez waved her hands with the purple crane in it. “Wait, are you sure? I don’t wanna step on your toes.”

“No it’s okay! I like yellow. Promise.”

“Well, in that case, I’ll take the orange.” Grace pinned the crane to the shoulder of her uniform.

“Wait, wait, wait! This isn’t what I meant!” Kez screeched. “Well, these cranes are pretty sweet, but I was talking about your makeup!”

“Oh! Don’t worry about me, Kez.” Grace scratched the back of her head. “They seemed pretty pushy about us getting out there.”

“Cranky Pants one, two, and three can wait a few extra minutes for us.” Ryan nudged her with his elbow. "It’s your special night, too.”

Grace hummed, unsure.

“I have a great idea for your makeup! I promise I’ll be quick.” Mikayla waved the makeup brush excitedly. “Please?”

Once again, her teammates were giving her the look that they wouldn’t go down easy. Sighing in fake exasperation, Grace straddled the bench. “Alright, alright” she conceded. “Just make it quick and don’t make me look like I have pink eye.”

“You got it, Grace!” Mikayla mock saluted. “Or should I say…Captain Phoenix.”

“I keep telling you, that name’s a placeholder!” Grace snorted, closing her eyes. “You make me sound like a pirate.”

“Hey man, don’t diss pirates!” Kez squawked defensively. “They’re like, super cool.”

Giggling, Grace allowed one small eye roll before keeping still. “Okay, so while Mikayla’s doing my makeup, I’m gonna go over our strategy.” The brush tickled her eyelids. “I’ll jam first so I can get a feel for the team. They seem a bit younger than us, though, so I wouldn’t worry too much. Mikayla, do you feel good about pivoting first?”

“Mhm-hm,” she hummed.

“Sweet! Just remember to stay assertive, skate your bout, and don’t let the other skaters intimidate you. Kez, I’ll be asking you to jam throughout the game, so remember not to skate too fast all at once; I don’t want you wiping out in the first half. And stay. In. Bounds.”

“You got it, Evie-Stevie.” Kez clicked her tongue. Grace had to suppress a smile at that one.

“Now Ryan, I mainly want you blocking. Keep firm, and remember to pretend you’re protecting your friends out there, okay?”

There was a moment of quiet, and then a scoff. “Thanks, but…” Ryan whispered, “I don’t think I need to pretend anymore.” Something like sentimentality sent a jitter through Grace. It was strange being so moved by something Ryan said, especially with how taciturn he got about his feelings.

But the feeling didn’t last long, as Ryan patted the top of Grace’s helmet. She then heard a shuffle of arms. “Besides, someone’s gotta watch out for my girls!”

“And have some guy do all the heavy lifting for me?” Kez squabbled. “Don’t turn the clock back on women’s lib, man!”

Ryan laughed, coughing a little. “You’re right, I’m sorry, women’s lib.”

“Ryan! Don’t jostle me around, I’m not done!” Mikayla argued. Grace felt the brush tremble a little. Everyone was laughing.

The brush made a jerky motion across Grace’s brow. The room went silent. “Uh, everything okay?” Grace asked, hesitant.

“Wait, I got this!” Kez said loudly. Suddenly, a cold set of hands were on Grace’s face.

Grace jumped back at the feeling. “Ah! Kez!”

“Just hang on! I got you.” Cool thumbs ran on the outside of her eyelids. It was already nerve wracking that they were running late; the last thing she needed was Kez of all people ruining her makeup.

“Alright, done!” Kez proclaimed. “You can open your eyes now.”

Slowly lifting her eyelids, Grace was met with a reflection. Her eyelids were covered in bright red, but billowing out from the edges were pink flames. The lines smudged at the ends, but it made the colors look like they were flickering. It gave her look a new edge; one that wasn’t straight and perfect, but jagged and thrilling.

“How’s that for a phoenix?” Kez said smugly. Ryan and Mikayla looked over each of her shoulders, grinning ear-to-ear at Grace’s newly painted face.

“That’s…this is…” she chuckled in disbelief. “How did you-”

“I used my Mama Kez Magic!” Kez winked at her.

Grace rolled her eyes fondly. “Alright, enough goofing around! It’s game time!” She rallied her team out of the locker room and onto the rink floor.

The stands were now filled with dozens of people. It was the pre-season, so there weren’t as many people as there would be for a main tournament, but there was still a spectacular quality to seeing a crowd full of faces cheering and ready for action as much as the players were.

Mikayla stopped in her tracks. “Tulip!” She squealed in delight as she rushed towards the bleachers, her friend sitting by herself. “I thought you weren’t able to make it!”

“Yeah, well, luckily my thing got canceled so I could come see you!” Tulip explained. She twisted her ponytail. “And Jesse and Lake couldn’t come, so I wanted to make sure you had at least one of us cheering you on.”

Grace’s stomach squirmed at the mention of Jesse and Lake. It started as discomfort as to why they couldn’t come, relief that Grace wasn’t being scrutinized by them, and more guilt for even thinking that way.

“Well, break a leg!” Tulip said, then put a hand on her chin. “Or don’t, because you need to skate.”

“Thanks! Bye!” Mikayla waved as she caught up with the rest of the team.

“And out come the Chronic Cranes! They’ll be competing with the Emerald Entrails tonight for the spot in the Locomotive City Flat Track Tournament next year!” A voice through a bullhorn rang through the rink. The echo reverberated poorly as the Cranes took their warm up lap. “Unlike the Entrails, who competed in junior leagues prior, this is the first any league has seen the Cranes. So we’ll see how well they take flight on their debut!”

The good thing about skating is it made it easier for Grace to hide her cringe at that last part. It shouldn’t have bothered her; they were gonna be fine.

They had to be fine.

Once their lap was finished, the four of them huddled in a circle. Grace put her hand out, face-down. “Feel the crane on 3?”

Everyone put their hands in the middle.

“One, two, three!”

“FEEL THE CRANE!” Everyone threw their hands in the air, whooping with excitement.

The three of them took the front of the pack while Grace stayed back in the jammer’s position. She crouched next to the other jammer, the short guy.

“Good luck,” he said. Grace simply nodded with a hum; she never really trusted opposing teams. There always seemed to be a catch when they were nice, so she erred on the side of caution.

Grace closed her eyes.

Three. Two. One.

TWEET!

Her eyes snapped open and she propelled herself on her skates. The Entrails jammer was a second faster than her, taking a small lead. Luckily, Kez reached an arm out for Grace to grab.

“The Entrails have a small lead, but the Cranes are flying to catch up!” The crackle of the bullhorn snagged the air. Apparently it caught Kez’s ear too, judging by the way she dropped her arm and looked towards the noise.

“And the Emerald Entrails mined a way through!” The announcer bellowed as the other jammer slipped through a crack in the pack.

“Wha-Kez!” Grace snapped. The other blockers swarmed Grace. Using her shoulders, she slammed her way through the wall.

 The distraction slowed her down a little, so she leaned forward on her knees. It did the trick, and Grace was able to catch up with the jammer.

Her teammates were in formation, on the nose with how they practiced. Once Ryan caught Grace’s eye, though, he shifted towards the other blockers, scrambling when the jammer was making some leeway. Mikayla started to push back, but when the action was returned, she relented.

“Both jammers are about to re-engage with the pack, and-OOF! The Entrails just busted through the pack.” Grumbling to herself, Grace tucked her arms in and pummeled her way through the Entrails’ pack. She was nearing the other jammer when he tapped his hips.

“That starts us off with a 3-3 tie with the Entrails calling off the jam.”

Grace rolled back to her team. “So that’s our first jam, and we’re tied! Let’s keep up that energy.” She gave everyone high fives. While the pack was a bit of a mess, she figured it was just first game jitters.

“Why did it end early?” Mikayla asked, confused. “I thought we had 2 minutes.”

“The jammer called it off early, either so we couldn’t score more or so they wouldn’t tire out. Speaking of which…” Grace nodded to Kez, holding out the star. “You ready to jam?”

Kez blustered. “Uh, yeah of course! I can totally jam. Jammy-jam time.” She clapped her hands and took the star from Grace. Grace looked to Ryan, who only gave a shrug. Everyone got into formation.

“That was a good jam!” The girl with the undercut held out a fist to Mikayla to bump.

“Oh, thanks!” Mikayla answered shyly. “It’s our first time skating in roller derby. Well, my first time. My captain has done this a bunch of times, but-”

TWEET! Grace grabbed Mikayla into their pack before the jammer could bust through. Unfortunately, it was for naught. The pigtailed girl was able to shimmy through the side while Ryan had his attention turned towards Kez and Mikayla weakly held her hands up.

Speaking of Kez, she had hell of a time trying to find an opening in between the blockers. Ryan noticed this, rushing towards her. He attempted to muscle between the other blockers, but he jumped around indecisively, not staying long enough for Kez to grab his hand.

“And the Cranes are still engaged with the pack while the Entrails are making their way around the track.” Once again, Kez turned her head towards the speakers. She drifted towards the inside of the track, exactly when the other jammer slammed into her and knocked her on her knees.

Grace pushed back against her, but the girl’s momentum flung her off to the side. The rubber of her toe stops barely kept her in bounds. Where were Ryan and Mikayla?

TWEET TWEET TWEET!

“Uh oh! The Cranes just scored themselves a foul!” Fish hook earring and shortie apparently were getting dual blocked by Ryan, who made the foolish mistake of pushing with his hands instead of just his arms. Mikayla lingered nervously to the side, about to block the jammer when she flinched away at the last second. The jammer tapped her hips twice, ending the jam.

But Ryan was still getting in position for the next one.

“Ryuichi!” Grace yelled as she dashed over. “Get off the track!”

Ryan held a hand up to his ear. “What?!”

“You got a foul, dude,” fish hook earring said to him. “If you don’t get in the penalty box, you’ll get another one.”

“What?” Ryan squeaked. “I thought that was only for last round!”

“It carries through rounds. Now go!” Grace scolded him, patting him on the pack. Disgruntled, he tore off to the penalty box, ever so graciously labeled ‘the sin bin.’

The whistle blew, and Kez tore off. She got pushed out of bounds, but instead of going to the back, she persisted forward.

“And there’s another foul for the Chronic Cranes, giving the Emerald Entrails a big advantage.” Throwing her hands in the air in confusion, Kez scurried away from Grace’s scrutinizing gaze. The Entrails jammer managed to slip by in the chaos.

“Come on.” Grace jerked her head with the rest of the Entrails, Mikayla following closely behind her. Once the jammer reached them again, the two Cranes attempted a feeble wall while the the Entrails tried to reach towards him. Once again, Mikayla shrunk while the jammer passed the star to undercut, who placed it on her own helmet.

“And look at that beautiful star pass from the Entrails!”

“Why’d you do that?” Grace reprimanded.

“I dunno! I felt bad.” Mikayla wrapped her arms around herself.

“What’s going on?” Ryan slipped behind the two of them.

“We need to keep them from gaining more points before Kez gets back in.” Grace turned sternly. “Get ready.”

The three of them grabbed each others shoulders. The timer went off in the sin bin, but Kez still stared off blankly.

“Hell’s Belle!” Grace barked. “Get out here!”

“Oh! Sorry!” Kez scrambled out of her seat, waddling back on the track.

“And the Cranes’ jammer is about to re-engage with the pack.” Once again, Kez got that spacey look on her face, staying back instead of chasing the other jammer as he racked up more points.

“And that was our first power jam, putting the Entrails in the significant lead.”

The whistle blew to signify the end the jam. Grace furrowed her brows, and yelled to the referees. “Time out, time out!” She then gave a harried gesture for the others to come over.

“What’s going on out there?!” Grace put her hands on her hips. “We’ve done this a million times, and you all did it perfectly. But tonight it’s like you forgot how to do it out there.”

“Well, I feel like I have to change the plan because the announcer keeps saying what you guys are doing!” Kez said defensively.

“I don’t care what the announcer says, they’re not out in the rink with us,” Grace scolded. “And our blocking has been weaker than before, what’s up with that?”

“I dunno!” Ryan threw his hands in the air. “I keep trying to do what you taught us, but the other team keeps…getting in the way.”

Grace raised an eyebrow. “Ryan, that’s how sports work.”

“But we don’t know how this one works,” Mikayla said, ashamed. “We don’t have your experience.”

It then hit Grace: her team had never done a scrimmage with other teams before.

Taking a deep breath, Grace sat down on the bench. “Okay, what’s throwing you guys off?”

“Everything here is distracting,” Kez admitted. “But mostly the announcer talking about the game.”

“Blocking more than one person is harder than I thought,” Ryan said.

“I know you said don’t be afraid to be aggressive, but I just feel bad because the Entrails are being so nice to us, you know?” Mikayla scratched the back of her head.

Dipping her head, Grace trilled her lips in thought. “Does anyone here have earplugs?”

“Oh! I do, they’re in my guitar case.” Ryan raised his hand.

“Awesome, do you mind giving them to Kez for tonight?”

“Not at all, just gimme a sec.” Ryan went to rummage in his case.

Grace turned back to Kez. “The announcer’s job is to watch us from a distance and explain to the audience what’s going on. But you’re not the audience, you’re the player.” She put a hand on Kez’s shoulder. “The earplugs will help a little, but I need you to focus on what you see, not what you hear. So anything that will help you stay on track, do it. Okay?”

Kez gave her a salute. “I gotchu.” Ryan bounded up not far after, handing Kez his earplugs.

“Now Ryan, I don’t expect you to block every person in the pack, so I want you to focus on one player at a time,” Grace explained. “The girl with the brown hair and fish hook earring seems to be their strongest defense, so when we’re not blocking the jammer, keep her at bay so our jammer can get through. Got it?”

Ryan nodded. “Mhm!”

“Great! Now Mikayla.” Grace pressed her palms together and breathed. “The Entrails are not our friends. They’re probably just trying to get our guard down so they can win.”

“What?” Mikayla almost sounded betrayed. “But they’re always encouraging us, were they lying the whole time?”

“No! Mikayla, people aren’t that mean,” Ryan assured her. “Most people don’t say things like that if they don’t mean it.”

“That doesn’t mean they aren’t here to beat us,” Grace countered.

Ryan looked at her and sighed. “Grace, if the Emerald Entrails really were these bloodthirsty jocks who only wanna take home the golden skate or whatever we win at these things,” he paused for emphasis. “Would they really have kept us from getting kicked out?”

Grace’s eyes widened as if she got splashed with cold water. “I-I don’t know.”

“Come on, we’re playing roller derby, not 5-D psychological chess!” Kez punched her in the arm. “So let’s just play!”

Some say old habits die hard, but in Grace’s case she didn’t realize the old habits were dead until her teammates were beating them up with sticks.

She shook her head. “You’re right, I don’t know why I was worried. If they Entrails wanna play, then we’ll give them something fun to remember. Hands in the middle.” Four palms stacked on top of one another. “One, two, three!”

“FEEL THE CRANE!”

“Let’s go!”

Everyone lined up against the other players. The girl with the pigtails offered a fist bump. Eying her hand, Grace felt a nudge in her side. Ryan and Mikayla both gave her a nod; Mikayla’s was one of encouragement, but Ryan’s had a hint of steel.

Without fanfare, Grace bumped her fist back. The whistle blew, and everyone was off.

Grace, Ryan, and Mikayla blockaded the Entrails jammer, moving quickly on their skates to make sure all bases were covered. And then, came the noise.

That awful, fantastically blood-curdling screech.

“HIYAAAAA!” Kez muscled her way on the inside, startling one of the blockers out of the way. The one with the fish hook earring tried to jump in front of her again, but Grace lunged a second earlier to pull Kez out of the way.

“And it looks like the Chronic Cranes have taken the spot as lead jammer!” The crowd cheered, but Kez remained undeterred.

“Go, go, go, go, go!” Grace yelled to Kez as she launched her forward. The other jammer tried to catch up, but Ryan and Mikayla grasped hands to create a wall in between. The jammer tried to push through, but slipped and used a hand to push back. A referee blew the whistle on him.

“And it looks like the Emerald Entrails have a penalty, giving the Chronic Cranes an advantage.”

The bullhorn crackled, the whistles from the referees blew, and the crowd roared, but Kez remained undeterred. She released another banshee wail, speeding towards the pack. The Entrails caged the pathway with their arms, but Kez wove around on the outside of the pack. Before she could teeter off the track, Ryan grabbed her arm and whipped her around the apex of the track.

“Keep going!” Grace yelled. This prompted Kez to skate a lot harder. The Entrails began to gain speed, no doubt to wear Kez out. A hand grabbed Grace’s, and she looked up to find Mikayla nodding at her confidently.

“Triple whip?”

Grace grinned. “Let’s do it.”

Her other hand slapped into Ryan’s, and the three of them skated linked together. The line was not hard for Kez to see, so she swiftly dodged the other blocker and latched onto Ryan’s hand. They continued to skate until the Apex of the track, where Mikayla made a hard T-stop that swung everyone along the track, Kez being propelled the furthest.

The other jammer was about to re-engage with the pack, getting ready to break through. Ryan crouched and pushed him back, linebacker style. One of the other blockers was reaching for him, but Mikayla finally (finally!) used her hips to push back, knocking the person off balance.

“AGHAGHAGHGAHAGHGAHA!” Near barking, Kez pummeled forward. She swept side to side, trying to find an opening. The Cranes pressed against the backs of the Entrails, trying to reach through to grab Kez.

“Pass the star!” Grace yelled, pointing rapidly between Kez and Mikayla in case Kez didn’t hear. Getting the message, Kez jumped straight in the air and flicked the star straight to Mikayla. Mikayla dashed away, pulling the symbol over her helmet.

The other blockers dashed to catch up with her. She was able to muscle through two of them, but the third one knocked her on her back. This didn’t deter Mikayla, though, as she got up without missing a beat. That was the moment the other jammer broke through and was about to catch up.

“Call it!” was Grace’s final order, rapidly flapping her hands. With two dramatic flaps, Mikayla tapped her hips.

“And the jam is called off just seconds before time, and the Emerald Entrails are calling a time out!” Both teams skated off the track to regroup.

“Get over here, all of you,” Grace said, almost sternly.

Nervously, the team huddled together. “Yeah?” Kez said, guarded. Grace held up her open palm. “Uh, what’s that for?”

A smirk tugged at the corner of Grace’s mouth. “For skating your first power jam.”

“Power jam…” Mikayla furrowed her brow. “Was that-”

“The thing where the other jammer is out and you get free rein to score a shit ton of points? Yes I do,” Grace whispered excitedly. “And now we’re catching up!”

Everyone looked at the scoreboard. What was previously a 3-12 loss was now a solid 11-12.

The o-shape of Kez’s mouth widened into a smile. She launched up in the air and swung her arms around Grace. Catching her balance, Grace swung her in a circle. “We’re catching up!”

Mikayla and Ryan weren’t too far behind to join the group hug, everyone cheering and laughing all the way.

“Alright, alright.” Grace set her down. “Now let’s keep the momentum going. Here’s the plan.”

A week had passed since the incident, but the protegee was no less ‘over it’ as the second-in-command had wished she was.

“Our hideout is so close to being cleared out,” he had complained. “Why don’t we just go back instead of being stuck in these public skates?”

“Look, I see what you’re saying,” the captain said, words carefully picked. “But do you really wanna put her in with the Apex kids while she’s still crying over a null?”

The second-in-command furrowed his brow. “I-I guess that makes sense.”

“Of course it does! Everything I do makes sense!” She said flippantly, trying to end the conversation. “I’ll go get her while you wait in the car.” A sour look scrunched his face, but he made no complaint as she went back into the rink.

“Hey, you ready to go?” The captain said to the girl at the door.

The protegee’s shoulders were hunched, skate bag dwarfing her in size. “Do you hate me?”

“What?” The captain felt like it was completely out of left field. She knelt to the protegee’s level. “No! Why would you say that?”

“The hospital said my skin gets hurt easier,” she said sullenly. When they visited the hospital both for the guardian and the protegee’s poison ivy, the doctor explained her rash got bad quickly due to a reaction from eczema. “And you hate people that aren’t strong. Like you hated Tuba.”

A shard of guilt pierced through the captain’s chest. “I didn’t-hate Tuba.”

“But your friend does.” The protegee clenched her fists over her ears, becoming more and more panicked. “And when he hates someone, he hurts them, and he’s gonna hurt me too! I’m afraid of the wheels.”

“No! No, he won’t.” The captain immediately dove in for a hug. “We just…” She thought about saying something to him, but then realized how poorly he reacted to even the tamest of nulls. “Won’t tell him, okay? He doesn’t need to know. So you and I will figure this out.”

The girl nodded, and walked out the door. The captain paused, looking at the row of pamplets labeled ‘Junior Roller Derby: No Contact League.’

The types of leagues the Apex frowned upon, due to their infestation of nulls.

The captain stuck a pamphlet in her notebook.

The drive back was relatively quiet to the foster home, where the girl temporarily stayed.

“Hello!” A social services worker in the front greeted them.

“Can I see Tuba yet?” the protegee asked, insistent as she had been all week.

The worker frowned. “Actually, I spoke with my boss…” They took a deep breath. “We thought it would be better if you separated from her for a while.”

The protegee’s face twisted in agony. “No! You promised!” she yelled. “It’s been a week, you said I would be able to see her when she got better!”

“I said, we would wait and see,” the worker said sternly. “While she was able to leave the hospital, her injuries have prevented her from returning to work. And based on the nature on how she got those injuries, we’re not sure she’s fit to take care of you.”

The captain seized up. After the guardian’s injury from the wheeling, foster care agents came to interview both her and the second-in-command. The minute they explained they were training for a roller derby team, the captain noticed the look in the agent’s eye sharpened as they quickly thanked them and got on the phone.

“No! She loves me! She cares about me!” the protegee protested.

“Ugh, no she doesn’t!” The second-in-command barked. “She would’ve left you eventually, just get over it!”

“Stop it! You did this!” The protegee pointed at him angrily. “I won’t give up on her like you did.” She dug her nails into her arms, and then tore off crying. The worker went after her into the building.

The captain turned to her second-in-command with disdain. “She’s eight! Can’t you take one second to remember how you felt when Samantha left you?”

He huffed. “Fine. Do what you want, but I’m waiting in the car.” He walked off, and the captain wasn't hesitant to find the girl.

The game continued, and the Chronic Cranes found their rhythm. Just like how everyone else on the team had to get used to playing a real game with new players and occasional fouls, Grace needed to shake off the rust both as a player and a coach. Watching how each of the players reacted to game situations, she crafted specific advice for each of them to bring their all.

Kez was a belle that certainly raised hell, weaving around the pack like a lightning fast thread. The banshee scream wore off as the team Entrails got more into the game, but it still helped keep up her momentum so she wouldn’t hesitate diving into the pack. Eventually the audience joined in on her screaming, and she was quickly making her impact with her persona.

Ryan was an absolute beast of a blocker. In the first half, he had issues getting fouls for getting a bit too riled up and pushing outside of target areas on other players. He always took it in stride, though, not arguing on his walk of shame to the penalty box. Eventually he was able to hone his strength into keeping the Entrails from getting too far ahead.

The biggest growth came from Mikayla. Eventually she didn’t need Grace to shout instructions, taking initiative on certain maneuvers. Funny enough, the other blockers complimenting her on her plays made her more assertive in her plays. She claimed that since the other team was having fun, it made her less nervous about being rough.

“Looks like we’re coming up on a tied match at 145-145, folks! Will the emeralds in rough shine through, or will the cranes soar sky high?”

“That was an amazing comeback! Awesome work!” Grace cheered, offering high fives to all her teammates. “We just need to break the tie, and we have the game!”

“Yeah, woo…” Kez huffed out. She slouched on the bench.

“Are you okay, Kez?” Grace crouched towards her.

“Oh, totally! Just gotta-woof-catch my breath.” The worst downside to a smaller team was coming to light: no extra teammates meant no rotations, and no rotations meant exhausted skaters. Normally Grace would push through her exhaustion, proving that she deserved to be there even if she was tired.

But Kez did more than enough to earn her stripes tonight.

“Do you want me to take this jam?” Grace asked. “I don’t want you collapsing on the track.”

Kez darted her eyes up, only nodding before mouthing a ‘thank you.’

“What’s our blocking strategy?” Mikayla inquired.

“Stay tight, the Entrails are gonna put their whole muscles into it so we gotta stand our ground. Whoever’s on the outside give me a leg, and I’ll whip across.”

“I’ll do it,” Ryan volunteered.

“Awesome. Hands in the middle.” The team huddled around in a circle.

“FEEL THE CRANE!”

Everyone lined up on the track. The short jammer smiled at her. “May the best jammer win.”

Grace allowed him a small grin. “Yes, they may.”

TWEET! Grace charged ahead, trying to push through the blockers. The Cranes were holding off the other jammer as well, nearly pushing him backwards on the track. Pride swelled inside Grace, and she used that feeling to help her jump around the Entrails on the apex of the inside curve.

“Looks like the Chronic Cranes have the lead jammer position,” the announcer observed. “But it looks like the Emerald Entrails have made a clean star pass.”

Looking behind her, Grace saw the new jammer was the pigtail girl. She was quickly gaining on her. On one hand, Grace could call off the jam and go into overtime to get that tie breaker.

But something about the victory from a leg whip sounded very enticing right now.

The Cranes had position in front of the Entrails, so Grace whistled for their attention. Whipping his head around, Ryan met Grace’s eyes and gave her a wide, Cheshire grin. One kick and his leg was out for Grace to grab onto. He quickly used the energy to propel her forward. Wind whipped into her face, cooling her face hot from exertion. Energy coursed through her veins, making her feel like she was flying, nose diving off a cliff and ready to spread her wings like-

A bright flash caught Grace’s eyes, drawing her attention towards the crowd. The color came from a white hoodie that obscured the wearer’s face. It shifted through the crowd, almost floating like a ghost. Grace felt her stomach drop. Was that-?

THWACK! Solid gear and flesh crashed into her, sending her sprawling onto the rink floor. She let the pain bloom into her, the hot ache cooled by the cold wood.

“And the winner is the Emerald Entrails!” Bullhorn echoed throughout the rink, and cheers followed quickly. Grace pushed herself up on her hands, seeing that the other jammer did in fact pull ahead of her and tapped her hips.

“Grace!” A flurry of three shapes rushed towards her; wiping the sweat from her eyes, Grace saw it was her teammates. Mikayla carefully stopped to kneel down, Kez loomed over her shoulder, and Ryan slid on his kneepads next to her.

“Are you okay? You took a nasty spill.” Ryan frantically looked her up and down for any  visible injuries.

“Do you need a hand?” Kez offered her own for Grace to pull herself up.

“Should I call the medics over?” Mikayla fretted, swiveling her head back and forth to the first aid table.

Grace’s eyes once again drifted back to the crowd. While different colors rippled throughout the crowd, there was no white hoodie.

“I’m fine, sorry about that,” Grace deflected quietly as she pushed herself up, not taking Kez’s hand. Her three teammates glanced at each other with concern. “Come on, let’s line up.”

Grace led her team as they skated to give the Entrails high fives. All of them met the Cranes with a courteous enthusiasm, not at all sparked by arrogance.

“Good game!”

“Awesome job!”

“Hope to play you again!”

“Nice meeting you!”

While Grace was disappointed, it was hard to keep a sour face when they were all so gracious about it. And it was even harder when they got to make the rounds to the crowd.

Whoever wasn’t holding out a hand to be high-fived was clapping excitedly. From rebel teens in patchy clothes, to little kids with their parents, everyone watched with elation as if they were walking down the hall of fame. As they skated down the line, spectators’ excitement ballooned as well as the team’s.

“GO CRANES!” Came an especially shrill yell. Tulip was on the end of the line. And was she with…?

“Aha! Thank you so much for coming!” Mikayla dove in for a hug and picked up Tulip, spinning her around. She then looked at who was next to her. “Blake? I thought you were working!”

“Well, I was. Tried to head here after work, but only caught the last few jams,” he said, trying to feign disinterest. He fiddled with the white sweatshirt tied around his waist. Air deflated out of Grace’s chest with a quiet gasp. He continued, “You know, making sure I’m not going overtime for nothing.”

“And because we wanna support our friends, you dumb-dumb!” Tulip flicked him in the back of the head.

“Ow!” Blake complained. “God, you’re almost worse than that name stealer of a sibling.”

“Name stealer?” Ryan asked for clarification.

“Long story, I’ll tell you later.” Tulip waved dismissively. “Anyways, you guys were so good! I’m happy I was able to see you play your big game.”

“Yeah, me too! Well, it was just the tryouts, anyway.” Mikayla’s smile faltered. “And we didn’t make it into the tournament, I guess.” Ryan and Kez looked down as well, their apparent loss catching up to them. Tulip and Blake suddenly looked uncomfortable, not sure how to ease the situation.

A louder applause erupted from behind them. The Emerald Entrails took their victory lap, high fiving the audience in a whirl. These cheers were louder than the first ones. Grace couldn’t blame them; it’s always more fun to be on the winning side, right?

“Listen, uh, I gotta get home to Turnip.” Blake pointed awkwardly out the door. “You guys need me?”

Grace huffed irritably. “No, Blake. Thank you.”

A loud buzz rattled Tulip. Reaching into her pocket, she grabbed her phone. “Nooo, not now!” Tulip groaned irritably, pushing her hair back. “My teammates-groupmates-told me I was okay to go out, but now they’re in a hurry for me to get back-”

“Tulip, it’s okay.” Mikayla clasped her hands over where Tulip held her phone. “I’m just really happy you came out. It means a lot.”

“Yeah, hope you’re not too busy with video games,” Ryan mumbled under his breath. Grace bumped him for the attitude, but apparently Tulip didn’t notice.

“Oh! And I think the bearings on your skates are a bit loose. You seemed a little wobbly,” Tulip pointed out.

“Ooh, look at you, smarty pants,” Kez crooned. “Where did you learn about skate mechanics?”

Tulips face flushed bright red. “Uhh, well my dad taught me how to use tools, so it’s mostly guess and check with mechanics.”

“Skate mechanics are pretty specific though,” Grace noted, crossing her arms suspiciously. “Only people with skates really know how the bearings and stuff work.”

Kez’s face made a v-shape, a cattish look as she regarded Tulip.

“What?” Tulip asked, defensive and exasperated.

“Learning about your friend’s hobbies, are you?” Kez wiggled her eyebrows.

“Oh my god, Kez!” Mikayla rolled her eyes. She pulled Tulip in for a hug. “I’ll meet you home, okay?”

“Okay.” Tulip pulled back and waved to everyone else. “Goodnight all. Happy skating. Why did I say that? Bye!” She hurried off before she could fluster herself any further. The lack of extra people led to a lull in conversation, causing the mood to drop once more.

Hearty cheers caught Grace’s attention, causing her to swirl around. The other team poured gatorade on each other, shouting their team name.

“Why don’t you guys get your stuff?” Grace mentioned absently. “I’m gonna check on something.”

“Oh! Okay,” Kez answered, not sounding too confident. Skating off, Grace approached the Entrails and tapped the girl with the pigtails on the shoulder.

“Hey! Can I talk to you for a second?” Grace asked the captain. Taken aback for a moment, she nodded to her teammates before gliding over to Grace.

“What can I do for you?” the captain asked casually.

“Well, first of all you guys played really well out there,” Grace started, causing the opposing captain to proudly beam. “I’m just wondering, when it got tough for you, how did you bounce back so easily?”

Her eyes widened. “Did we really put up that good a match?”

Grace chuckled, “You won, didn’t you?”

“Fair enough,” the captain reasoned. “I guess since we’re all friends it really helps. We have each other’s backs, and know at the end we did our best, no matter the outcome or things anybody says about us. I could see it with you guys, too.” Grace peeked over to the Entrails celebrating, and then peeked back to her own team. They were slouched over the bench, seeming to talk in hushed tones. It was the first derby match for all of them, and they kept up surprisingly well.

“I guess you’re right,” Grace mused, mostly to herself.

“What’s your name, by the way?” the captain asked as she held out her hand.

“Oh,” Grace shuffled a little. “I don’t really share my real name at these things.”

“That’s okay! Let’s share derby names, I’m the Clover Rover.” She held her hand out.

Suppressing a chuckle, Grace put her hand out. “I’m…” Her eyes wandered towards her own team. “Phoenix. Stevie Phoenix.”

“Cool name! Maybe next year we’ll see each other again,” Clover shook her hand. While her grip was firm, she still remained pleasant. “You guys played great, good match!”

“Nice meeting you,” Grace waved as Clover skated away to her team. She couldn’t believe the other team took the time to say the Cranes did well.

Maybe it was time Grace said so, too.

Skating back to the bench, everyone looked tentatively at one another.

“Hey,” Grace started as she faced her teammates, who looked at her expectantly.

“Before you start,” Mikayla stood up and began to twist her hands. “I know we haven’t been able to practice that move too much, and I should’ve checked to see if you were okay-”

“No it’s all me,” Ryan interrupted, leaping to his feet and patting Mikayla on the shoulder. “I didn’t expect them to be so rough, it caught me off guard.”

“Me too,” Kez jumped up as well as she took off her helmet. “It was hard to stay focused because everything was happening so fast-”

“Cranes!” Grace said in a firmer voice, getting them all to settle down and fix their eyes on her. “I wasn’t gonna say any of that.”

Their eyes widened. “Then, what are your notes?” Ryan asked.

“No notes, I just,” Grace took a deep breath and trilled her lips. “I just wanted to say I’m proud of you guys.”

“What? But we lost,” Kez pointed out.

“Yeah, we blew our one shot at competing,” Mikayla added despondently.

“Well, we did lose, but, we also played a really hard game,” Grace pointed out. “Like Kez? You are a speed demon out there. We wouldn’t have been able to keep up if it wasn’t for you.”

Kez stared at Grace with wide eyes. “I did?”

“Absolutely!” Grace nodded. “And Ryan? You were tough as nails out there. Some of the best blocking I’ve seen. You could play football if you really wanted to.”

Ryan scoffed, rubbing his chin.

“I’m serious! You gave the other team a run for their money.” She turned to the final member. “And Mikayla, you stepped up into the leader role of a pivot. You took the initiative and helped strategize us, especially when you got the star.”

Mikayla shrugged humbly. “I just followed my gut.”

“And that’s part of the game.” Grace then widened her stance. “This was your first ever derby competition. We haven’t even been able to practice doing normal scrimmages, but you all still held your own against some really good players. If roller derby was easy, anyone could do it. But you guys aren’t just anyone.” She paused for a moment. “You’re some of the most determined, tough, kind, and amazing people I’ve ever had the pleasure of skating with.”

“Really?” Mikayla said, almost delicate. Her voice sounded close to tears. “In all ten years of skating?”

Grace nodded solemnly. “In all ten years.”

Looking uncertain for a moment, Mikayla immediately dove in for a hug. Soon Ryan and Kez followed suit. This hug felt different than the other team hugs, though. It wasn’t jumpy and energetic, nor solemn and apologetic. It was solid, and understanding. The cooling embers with sweet smoke after a raging fire.

“I think this calls for celebration!” Kez announced. “Let’s get a post team dinner at Dumpty’s.”

“Oooh! It can double as Friendsgiving, too,” Mikayla added. “A nice send off before break.”

“You sure?” Grace questioned hesitantly. “I thought Min hated working late.”

Ryan wrapped an arm around her. “Trust me, he’ll probably be excited to see us.”

She hurried through the rooms of the care center. Hallway after hallway, she finally heard her voice. Opening the door to a nature themed room, she was talking softly to the service worker. The two of them were sitting on the floor, the girl hugging a pillow to her chest.

“Tuba was really nice, and protected me, and gave me good hugs,” the protegee’s voice said, more softly now. “She made me feel like I was warm all the time. But not the type of warm outside that makes you sweaty, but like, inside and comfy.”

The protegee turned away from the service worker and towards the captain. She jolted, realizing she was leaning on the doorway. “Would you like to say something?”

“Oh! Um, I don’t-” The captain suddenly felt tongue-tied. “I don’t think I should.”

“Please? You knew her,” the young girl pleaded. The worker straightened up, intrigued.

The silence moved the captain. “Okay, um.” She moved in to join them on the floor. A lip trill attempted to generate any valuable words. “I didn’t know Tuba…well. But she is very important? To her?”

The protegee looked at her with hard, doleful eyes, urging her to continue. “Tuba was…nice to me, too. She’s quiet, but not in a bad way.” The captain smiled fondly. “And she helped us…and was really brave…” Clenching a fist at her side, the captain was overcome with emotions. She was realizing the tragic part: even after all the months of spending time together, she never really got to know the guardian.

“It’s okay.” The protegee took her hand. “That was good. Now I’m gonna sing a lullaby that was for her kids and she said was for me too.” Taking a breath, she began to sing.

Don’t be a worry baby, no need to hurry baby when you’re with me

Don’t run way up ahead, take the long way instead there’s lots to see

When you slow down to listen, and you don’t go a-missing chances to play

We’ll always have tomorrow, don’t need to let it borrow time from today

So don’t be a worry baby, no need to hurry baby when you’re with me

Just take it easy peasy, my little lemon squeezy, you’re always with me

“Guh,” a sniffle served as a finale for the song. The protegee and worker, both teary eyed, turned to find the captain a sobbing mess. She squeezed her eyes shut, letting the tears fall. It had been so long since she had a long cry like that; the feeling in her chest was simultaneously tightening and freeing.

“Wow,” the service worker wiped her eyes, sniffling a little. “I guess I’ll have to put that in the report. We may not get immediate results, but we’ll see what we can do.” They tapped their pen against the clipboard. “And I suppose we can schedule a time for you to say goodbye.” They stood and left, letting the captain cry as the protegee put down the pillow.

The protegee tapped her shoulder. She sniffled and wiped her eyes quickly. “Yeah?”

“I have to go to the bathroom,” the protegee whispered. The captain blinked, and then laughed. She pulled her in for a hug, and for a brief moment, everything was okay again.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“What? Don’t tell us you’re not excited to see your favorite customers,” Ryan batted his eyelashes, not moving Min’s unamused stare.

Min groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You guys do realize we’re half an hour to closing, right?”

“We just wanted to celebrate our first derby game,” Kez put triumphantly.

“Yeah, like other sports teams do!” Mikayla agreed. She wrapped her arms around Ryan and Grace while Kez leaped atop her shoulders.

“Aw jeez, am I gonna have to wear skates now?” Min asked.

“No,” Grace said, dejection finding its way into her voice when she didn’t mean it to. “No, uh, we lost.”

Min suddenly looked more awake. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, it happened.” Rubbing her arm, Grace began to back out the door. “We should go-”

“Hang on! Let me…” Min swiveled his head in all directions. After a few moments, he fled through the swinging doors into the kitchen. Stray voices escaped through the little food window. Broken bits of discussion dropped in and out, making it hard to gauge the tone.

Finally, Min emerged. A deep inhale flared his nostrils. “Take a seat.”

“Are you sure?” Grace asked.

“Yeah, just…sit quickly? My boss might not be here, but I don’t wanna keep the cooks here forever, you know?”

“Thanks, Minsters!” Kez said as she slid into the booth.

Min rolled his eyes as he slapped 4 menus on the menu. “I told you not to call me Minsters.”

Ryan sat next to Kez on the outside of the booth, and Mikayla and Grace sat on the other side. After a few minutes, four glasses of water were placed in front of them.

Min straightened up to his work posture, pad and pen in hand. “What can I get for you guys?”

Mikayla squinted at the menu where her finger underlined the words. “Are the strawberry pancakes any good?”

“Any of the pancakes are good since we have Frank tonight.” He leaned down. “Though personally I’m more of a fan of the apple ones, the fruit is a little fresher.”

“Oh wow!” Freckles danced on Mikayla’s face as she smiled and winked. “Then I’ll get those, please.”

“Of course.” Min shot a silly wink back. He scribbled on his pad and turned to Ryan. “What about you?”

“Can I get the uhhhhh…” Ryan let out a prolonged note before finishing his sentence. “Happy waitress special?”

“Sorry, you’re stuck with me tonight,” he answered dryly. The table went silent, no one offering so much as a pity chuckle. “Get it, because it’s a…nevermind.” Min grumbled as he wrote on his pad.

 It was then that Ryan reeled over, snorting with laughter. “Ohhhh! I get it-”

“Nope, it’s too late, Ryan.” Min shook his head. “Do you want fries with that?”

“Yeah, sure.” Ryan shrugged, and then he jolted up. “Oh! And can we share a thing of disco fries?”

“What are disco fries?” Mikayla asked.

“It’s like poutine, but American.”

“Oh, okay!” Mikayla nodded before leaning towards Ryan’s ear. “What’s poutine?”

“Grace, two corn dogs, I assume?” Min asked without looking up from his pad.

“Oh, I don’t really know if I’m hungry,” Grace waved her hand.

“That typically translates to either picking off someone else’s plate or ordering way later, and since I don’t wanna keep the kitchen open forever, it’s two corn dogs,” Min looked up with a glint in his eye. “Unless I’m wrong, of course.”

The two stared at each other before Grace slumped in her seat. “Can I get a chicken parm sub, actually?”

Min scoffed. “Always gotta make sure I’m wrong?”

“Just wanna keep you on your toes.” Grace stuck out her tongue, tired but no less friendly.

“How could you eat chicken? Doesn’t it freak you out since you work with birds?” Mikayla whispered, scandalized.

“I don’t care as long as it’s not my chicken.” Grace shrugged.

“Not sure Aubrey would agree,” Ryan muttered. He straightened his back. The plastic shine of the menu glared at him, and he briefly flicked it open to quickly read something before closing it once more.

Min finished writing on his notepad. “And for you, Kez?”

“Does Barclay still have that French onion soup?” Kez asked, kicking her feet under the booth table.

“Doesn’t every diner have French onion soup?” Grace raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, but Barclay’s is the best!” Kez swept her hand dramatically across the table. “He uses-”

“Ingredients! Just regular ingredients, haha!” Min interrupted as he slammed his palms on the table. His cheeks puffed up, eyes darting towards the kitchen cautiously.

“What the heck?” Ryan lightly hissed.

“Sorry,” Min slouched with a deep exhale. “Kez knows Barclay’s secret recipe and I didn’t want her revealing he uses Amish gruyere.”

“GOD. DAMMIT!” An exasperated shout bellowed from the kitchen, and Min’s face stiffened in horror at the realization that he fucked up.

“I’ll get your order,” Min said quietly before half-jogging back towards the kitchen, a faint “Barclay, I’m sorry!” fading out as he exited. The table waited until he got to the kitchen before they burst into giggles.

“He’s funny,” Mikayla laughed.

“Yeah, that’s our Min, he’s great,” Ryan sighed.

“I’m glad he’s our bud,” Kez commented, then turned towards Grace. “How did you two meet, anyway?”

“Oh! Uh, we kinda just bumped into each other.” Grace swirled her straw in her water. “We both needed study partners, so we started meeting up to work together. And then as we hung out more, it became…less work related.” She huffed a small laugh. “Took a little bit to get there, though.”

“How? Did you have an enemies to friends kind of thing?” Mikayla leaned over the table, eager for the answer.

“No, no, not enemies. We just had different tastes.”

“Music taste, right?” Ryan smirked.

Grace put her chin in her hand, smiling. “Now how’d you guess?”

“Normally I’d say luck, but…” Ryan held a finger over his straw before releasing it. A water droplet came out the bottom, soaking the straw wrapper. “He and I used to listen to old records together, and then he’d go to school trying to convince everyone what they were missing out on. Didn’t always work, but it’s hard not to admire the effort.”

“You mean he’s always tried to get poor, innocent bystanders into ‘good music’?” Grace waggled her fingers in air quotes, and the two of them began laughing.

He looked at the straw wrapper. “So what was it?”

“What was what?”

“The music you guys agreed on.” He looked up at her. “And don’t say nothing, because Min needs at least one musician in common with someone to get along with them.”

“Really?” Mikayla scratched her neck. “We got along well when we got together to work on the logo. He didn’t complain when I played my music.”

“Well, what music were you playing?”

“Hmm, just a mix. I think Janelle Monáe was on that playlist-“

“There you go! Min loves dance-y music,” Kez interjected. “He would sing along to my disco CDs in the car.”

“Eh, I’d say that it was more 50-50.” Ryan waved his hand in a so-so gesture.

“Oh, you just say that because you’re allergic to fun!” Kez took her still half-wrapped straw and blew into it. The paper shot Ryan in the chest, and he clutched it as if fatally wounded.

“Nooo, my reputation as a fun guy!” He groaned dramatically as he slumped in his seat.

“Sailor, quick! Use your powers to heal him from stick-in-the-mud syndrome!” Kez shook Mikayla by the shoulder.

“I would, but I’m afraid I have doom powers!” Mikayla said, giggles seeping into each sentence.

“No, not another man down!” Grace stretched along the table to cradle Ryan’s head as if they were soldiers on the battlefield. “Why? Whyyyyyy?!” Pretty soon everyone was cackling. There was no lost game, no disappointment, no ghosts. There were only a bunch of bruised and tired college kids laughing in the booth at a diner.

“But you never answered my question.” Ryan sat up in his seat, looking at Grace. “What’s your guys’ song?”

Sneakers squeaked up to the booth before Grace could even think of an answer.

“Alright, here we go.” Min balanced plates on his arms. Despite their precarious placement, he didn’t actually look worried that they were gonna fall. “Pancakes for you, happy waitress for you, chicken parm for you, disco fries for everybody.” Three steaming plates clinked on the table in front of Mikayla, Ryan, and Grace respectively. The fourth one, French fries smothered with gravy and melted mozzarella cheese, was placed in the middle.

Kez stared at the blank place setting in front of her. “Where’s my-”

THUNK.

“French onion soup.” A bowl of hot soup was nearly dropped in front of Kez, casting a tall shadow over her. Everyone’s eyes flicked to the hand that harshly delivered the food.

It belonged to a burly, fuzzy man. He wore a grease spotted apron, a red flannel and torn jeans underneath. A long beard grew an inch past the bottom of his chin, his dark curls pulled back in a hair net. His muscular arms were hairy as well, a small tattoo of what looked like the silhouette of Bigfoot walking along his bicep. Thick eyebrows were twisted into a scowl.

“Ooh.” Kez raised her eyebrows. The corners of her mouth curved into a flirtatious smile. “Hello again.”

“Barclay, I know I screwed up, but everyone here can keep a secret.” Min turned nervously to everyone. “Right guys?”

"Hm?” Grace was halfway through her first bite when she looked up. Everyone looked at her with disbelief, judgment, and slight horror.

Well, everyone except for Min. He just looked tired.

“What?” Grace said defensively.

“So you expect me to trust someone that eats a sub like that?” Barclay raised an eyebrow at Min.

Grace put down her sandwich, a little peeved. “Like what?”

“Like-like sideways!” Looking down, Grace realized that instead of eating the hero lengthwise, she took a bite right down the middle.

Barclay huffed, irate and tired. “What’s next, you eat a baguette out the middle?”

“…Yes?”

All the teammates along with Barclay nearly jumped. “WHAT?”

“Once you see it a couple times it’s not so bad,” Min said dismissively.

Grace waved her hands expressively. “See? If Min’s with me, then you guys are overreacting.”

“But why?” Mikayla creased her eyebrows, trying to understand the meaning of the universe.

Leaning back into the booth, Grace shrugged. “I was trying to piss off a French lady.”

After a beat, Ryan held up his hand for a high five. “Okay, I can respect that.”

“Hey, my girlfriend’s French!” Everyone turned to a new voice in the conversation. A face popped through the kitchen window. His only discernible features were short brown hair and a pair of Ray-Ban sunglasses.

“Frank, stay out of this!” Barclay barked towards the kitchen.

“Clay, go easy on the kids!” The guy in the window-Frank-argued. “Min said himself they came back from playing sports, they’re probably exhausted.”

“Yeah! We just finished are first our roller derby game, whoop WHOOP!” Kez cheered, high fiving everyone at the table.

“Oh, that’s funny, my girlfriend knew some derby kids.” Frank leaned his arms on the window sill. “I think she had a bad history with one of them, though. She told me to stay out of it, so the details are fuzzy.”

“Really? Who was the team?” Ryan asked.

“I think they were called the Atlantis or something. Atlantis, Atlas…” Frank tapped the windowsill for a moment before snapping his fingers. “Apex! I knew it would come to me!”

A strangled gasp escaped Grace’s throat. She barely managed to swallow her bite of sandwich.

“Oh, those renegade wannabes?” Barclay scoffed. “Surprised the league even lets them play after everything they did.”

“Renegades are cool, what’s wrong with that?” Ryan pointed with a French fry.

“No, no, renegade derby is an underground league. And they play especially rough.”

“Rougher than normal derby?” Mikayla prodded, cutting her pancakes.

“Definitely, there’s no penalties or fouls, so it’s a free for all. And a lot more injuries.” Min twisted the fabric of his apron. “Don’t get me wrong, to each their own, but what I don’t like about the Apex was they took that behavior into other leagues where it’s not okay.”

“Maybe they were just trying to prove themselves,” Grace mumbled. Her sandwich morphed into something less appetizing, so she took a sip of her now lukewarm water.

“Prove themselves to be what, king of the hill? Several teams and refs had to drop out of tournaments because Apex kids were playing too rough and destroying their things. But the league couldn’t kick them out because the crowd eats that shit up, and every tournament conveniently didn’t have enough teams.” Barclay put his hands on his hips. “They’re part of the reason derby gets a bad reputation, especially their captain, the Atomic Swan.”

Grace spat water out, coughing. Everyone ducked out of the line of fire.

“Oh, shit! Are you okay?” Kez yelled suddenly. A flurry of napkins flew onto the table to clean up the mess. A couple sturdy pats thumped on Grace’s back, and she hacked even more.

“Sorry, sorry!” Mikayla yelped in panic.

“Okay, okay, just breathe it out. Cough when you need to.” Ryan reached over the table to the booth Grace was sitting in. She heaved a couple deep breaths, coughing into her arm along the way. Eventually, her hacking did subside, and the burning in her throat was now a dull ache. “You okay?”

Grace looked down at the carnage of the water. It spewed all over her plate, turning her toasty sandwich and fries into sad, bloated carbs washed up like a dead whale on a beach. The few bites from the middle of the sandwich gnawed at her insides, jagged and uneven.

“I’m not really hungry.” Grace pushed the plate away. Min’s brows furrowed with concern, but he wordlessly took the plate out of her way and walked back towards the kitchen.

“So, what happened to the Apex?” Mikayla looked up at Barclay cautiously. “And the Atomic Swan?”

“Not too sure, but you know what’s funny?” Barclay rubbed his bearded chin. “The Atomic Swan disappeared. The team didn’t make last fall’s tryouts, so we thought they finally got axed. But then the spring came around, and of course the Apex weaseled their way in, but she was the only one not there. And the Atomic Swan never missed a game. Went from wanting to be the star of the show to-” Barclay made a popping noise. “Without a trace.”

“Hmm.” Ryan tapped his fingers against the table. A smirk twitched on his face. “Maybe she got scared she was gonna get burned by the Phoenix!”

Both him and Kez pointed at each other, yelling, “WHOAAAAAA!”

An arm wrapped around Grace. “It’s okay, we’ll get them next time,” Mikayla reassured her, and Grace smiled wanly. The whole conversation was filtered as if Grace was underwater, trying to resurface out of the pool of her thoughts.

A clank startled Grace out of her half-trance of the entire conversation. An empty plate was placed in front of her.

“In case you change your mind,” Min said simply. He gave her a kind smile, and she nodded at him.

Turning to Barclay, he clasped his hands together. “So, are we okay on the whole…soup thing?” His teeth gritted into a feeble attempt at a smile. The chef looked at the table, where everyone mirrored the look.

Barclay pinched his brows together and turned away. He muttered something that sounded like, “I did not spend 2 years at culinary school for this.” And without another word, he pushed his way back into the kitchen.

“I should probably help clean up.” Min pointed with his thumb towards the back. “You guys enjoy.”

“We’re good!” Frank called out. “You can eat with your friends. The Big H isn’t here to bother you.”

Min sputtered. “But-”

“Come on, be a kid for once,” he egged on before vanishing from the window. “Sometimes I get old just watching you.”

Min opened his mouth indignantly to retort, but he lost steam quickly. He twitched back and forth between the kitchen and booth, and with a defeated sigh, scooched next to Ryan with much trepidation. Hands folded in his lap, he bounced his leg as the rest of the table kept eating.

Ryan held up half of his sandwich in Min’s face. “Wanna bite?”

Min held up a hand. “Oh, I don’t wanna steal your food, man.”

“Come on, dude, you’ve been working all night. You’re probably starving,” Ryan insisted. “I’ve got plenty here.”

Reluctantly, Min took the sandwich out of Ryan’s hand. “Alright, just one bite.” He sunk his teeth into the corner, and within the second melted with relief. “Oh, I needed that,” he groaned, head hitting the back of the booth. Ryan silently pushed the plate towards Min as he continued eating the other half. Min took another bite of his food, either seeped of energy to argue or overtaken by his newfound hunger.

Grace stared at the blank spot on her plate, eyes connecting the microscopic specks in the ceramic. Suddenly, the white was replaced with a golden brown. Blinking, it took a minute for Grace to realize it was a small wedge of pancakes.

“Min’s right, they’re really good!” Mikayla said. “Thought you might wanna try some.”

Grace looked at her in shock.

“Here, try a little of my sandwich, too!” Ryan tore a corner off his half of the sandwich and put it on Grace’s plate.

“Uh-”

“And have some disco fries, too!” He scooped them with his fork onto her growing meal. “I got them to share.”

“Also I’m symbolically putting soup on your plate, because, you know, it’s soup.” Kez twirled her spoon between her fingers. “But if you wanna try some…”

A low rumble buzzed in Grace’s stomach. Even though her mood was soured, she couldn’t deny she was a little hungry.

“I’ll try a bite.” Kez dipped her spoon into her soup and handed it to Grace. A piece of toast smothered with cheese topped the broth, and the savory scent of onions was hard to deny.

One bite, and Grace was instantly transported to heaven. “Mhm! Shit, that is really good,” she said while handing Kez her spoon back.

“I know, right? No one makes it like Barclay,” Kez agreed.

“No wonder he’s so protective of the recipe.” Grace finally decided to cave and eat the food her teammates shared on her plate. “How’d you get it, anyway?”

“Oh, he dropped it,” Kez said. She then didn’t elaborate further. No one asked, probably too busy eating.

“Hey, um.” Min put down his sandwich and sighed. “I’m really sorry I missed your game tonight.” He fiddled with a shape on his apron. “I know this was really important to you guys, I really wanted to go. I asked for off tonight, but there was a last minute switch, but I-I shouldn’t have caved.”

 Focusing, Grace saw what Min was playing with: a paper crane, in his favorite color of blue. Her pre-game gift to him.

“Well, I’m glad you missed us as much as we missed you.” Mikayla smiled at him, ever earnest as she always was. “It wasn’t the same without you there.”

“Really? I feel like I don’t say much when I’m there.”

“You don’t need to.” Kez encouraged him. “Your presence is  present enough, or whatever they say.”

“Besides, you would’ve loved it.” Ryan turned to everyone else. “When we were in high school, Min used to sit with me to watch my younger brother’s hockey games when I had to pick him up. He would get so into it, yelling stuff like ‘put em in the ground’!” He emphasized the last part with a growl.

“Okayyy! We don’t need to share too many anectdotes,” Min huffed, grinning as he looked back down at the table. Everyone else giggled at it before they continued eating.

“What’s it like? Playing a real game,” Min asked.

“Well, you’ve seen us practice, you know what we do,” Grace said between bites of pancake.

“Well, I know, but like, what’s it feel like?” His hands were now propping up his chin curiously.

“Hmm.” Ryan chewed the last of his sandwich and picked up his straw in thought. He released another droplet of water onto a different piece of straw wrapper. Finally, he swallowed and answered. “Kind of like if a drag queen played hockey.”

Min laughed and coughed, taking a sip of water to clear his throat. “Why’s that?”

“Well, I’m basically running around in makeup with a stage name knocking the shit out of people.” Ryan held up his hands. “It’s kind of like performing, when you get so in a zone that you forget there’s an audience until you hear everyone cheering, you know? It’s fun.”

“Really? It was hard to ignore everyone until Grace gave me those earplugs,” Kez slurped.

“Well, what does skating feel like for you, Kez?” Min turned to her.

“I guess, like a bullet?” Kez wiped her mouth on her sleeve. “But like, if the bullet was screaming and going ‘ahhh get out of my way,’ and then ‘holy shit, I’m faster than the other bullets’ or whatever.”

Grace blinked, and then laughed. She held up her hand for a high five, and Kez readily accepted.

“I guess it’s my turn! I feel…” Mikayla took a pensive bite of her pancakes, waving her fork in the air. A decisive clank of the fork, and she settled on her answer. “Safe.”

“Safe?” Min leaned over the table to make sure he heard right. “When everyone’s trying to knock you down?”

“I’m with Min on this one.” Grace turned to Mikayla. “Why safe?”

“I mean, sure everyone is roughhousing, but that’s kind of the point. No one gets mad at you for pushing back, they even compliment you!” She shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s kinda silly.”

“No! No you’re good,” Kez assured her. “It’s like when you hit your friends with foam swords or something.”

“Yeah, it’s all in good fun,” Ryan said more succinctly.

“Yeah.” Mikayla then gave Grace a coy look. “And last but not least…”

“Augh, should’ve seen this coming.” Grace trilled her lips together, thinking about the feeling skating gave her that made it so addictive. “Free.”

“Yeah?” Mikayla said with a smile.

“Yeah.” Grace was gonna leave it at that, but she smiled to herself. “So, when I was 10 I got sent to boarding school. I took the train to get there, but I fell asleep and missed my stop."

"Wait, your parents let you ride a train alone??" Min asked, slightly concerned.

"Not important," Grace waved him off. "Anyways, I remember getting off at this former pumpkin patch with this old building at the bottom of the hill, so I went in to see if I could get help. But it turned out it was a roller derby rink!" She looked up fondly. “It was so cool to watch, seeing all those bad-ass players. When I was a kid, every decision was made for me, but seeing my first bout made me want to make my own choices like all the skaters. Nobody tells a derby girl what to do, or how to dress, or how to behave ‘like a lady.’  They could be as rough and ugly and messy as they wanted to, and people still loved them for it.”

“That’s…kinda poetic,” Ryan commented. “Shit you hear in song lyrics.”

“Yeah.” Grace looked at her plate. The golden memory quickly faded into a dark sepia, and Grace frowned. She looked around the restaurant, trying to occupy her mind. The pastel colored booths made every white spot stand out, just like the hoodie Grace briefly saw. She was just being antsy, that was all.

The red shine of a jukebox against all the white caught her eye.

“Can I put on some tunes?” Grace asked Min.

“Uh, sure? The back can’t hear too much back there, so I think we’re okay,” Min said.

“Sweet, give me a sec.” Climbing over the booth behind them so as to not disturb Mikayla, Grace made her way to the machine. Flicking through the songs until she found what she wanted, she inserted her coins and clicked play.

Music filtered through the speakers, and everyone’s ears perked up.

Ryan started, “Is this-?”

“Dreams? Yup!” Grace began to sway rhythmically. “I usually forget the name of it, but it’s nice. The first song Min and I ever agreed upon.”

“I didn’t realize you liked Fleetwood Mac as much as I did!” Ryan said to Min-Gi, pleasantly surprised. “I would’ve thought your guys’ song would be something more synthy.”

“Well, we were trying to find study music, and the dance-type stuff was more distracting.” Min rubbed the back of his neck. “And your taste kind of rubs off on me, so…” He trailed off, looking at an outstretched hand towards him. “What’s this?”

“Dance with me!” Grace wiggled her fingers and smiled. “I didn’t get to at the Halloween party.”

“Yeah! Min, Min, Min!” Ryan began to chant, Mikayla and Kez joining soon after while Grace shot him a knowing smile. Looking between the booth and the floor, Min dramatically stood up. He brushed his apron off, offering his hands to Grace with a deadpan expression.

She took them, and everything went from still to chaotic. Min attempted to spin the two of them around, movements awkward like that of a poorly oiled robot. His jagged swaying made even the worst pupils of Grace’s dance class look like professionals. Eventually he tried to dip Grace, but the floor was slippery and he stumbled. Min swung Grace out of the way into the table in time, but he went crashing to the floor.

“Min! Are you okay?” Ryan hovered over him in worry. Min laid there for a few seconds without saying anything, and then bellowed a deep, ugly laugh.

“I’m such a loser,” he guffawed.

“Don’t say that! You’re just a klutz,” Ryan debated as he helped Min up into his seat. “I didn't mean to get pushy, grab you’re synth and I’ll get my guitar. We’ll play along so you’re not a hazard to yourself.”

“Okay, okay,” Min aceded. The two of them actually caught on to the melody quite fast, matching the tone near perfectly.

Meanwhile, Kez joined Mikayla and Grace on the pretend dancefloor.

“Now lets groove as well as we can to this depressing-ass song.” Kez pointed one finger in the air. “Mikayla, shimmy with me.” The two went back and forth until Mikayla laughed, pulling Kez forward into a hug.

“Come on, dance circle!” Mikayla cheered. “Show us what you got, Grace!”

Feeling a slight surge of confidence, Grace decided to combine some ballet, hip hop, and freestyle moves. She let the rhythm move through her like water, bending and twisting as she got more and more loose. She did helicopter on the floor, posing on the bottom as everyone yelled “WHOAHHHH!”

“What get’s better than this?” Kez said, pleased. “My best friends, some sick jams, and French onion soup with homemade ciabatta toast on top.”

“God. DAMMIT!” Another shout bellowed from the kitchen. The entire team stared at one another as if the cops burst into the room. After a minute of silence, everyone bellowed into laughter and resumed singing and dancing. And in that moment, Grace was filled with a feeling alien to her.

Because after years of breaking her back to be the best, Grace, for the first time, was genuinely happy she lost the game.

Chapter Text

“Hey, this next guardian probably won’t be so bad, right?” The captain rubbed circles into the protegee’s back, who didn’t answer. She had come to the after school care that collaborated with the captain’s teaching program, so it wasn’t difficult to see each other with all the insanity going on.

“Pfft,” a scoff came from the second-in-command. He leaned against the wall, aloof. 

Things had grown tense between him and the captain since the wheeling. The captain wanted to spend less time with him, despite her guilt of having those feelings.

They’d even gotten into a fight during a practice after he grabbed her arm to do a contact drill when she wasn’t feeling good. She snapped to get some space, but felt bad when he walked away, and even worse when the protegee got defensive over her.

So who knew? Maybe this new guardian could take the place left empty in the protegee’s heart and worm their way into the second-in-command’s, even if distantly. And maybe they’d even be on board with starting a junior league.

“Don’t know why they called me down to the play pen,” a voice grumbled in the doorway before it clicked open. Fumbling with her tablet, an older woman shoved it into her side bag. She wore a gray pantsuit, a tight braid thrown over her shoulder. There was one strange thing about her, though: she wore a belt with a red wave on it.

She looked at the three of them, and asked, British accent rudely popping out: “What are you three looking at?”

Grace stood up. “Hi, we’re friends of your new foster child?”

“It’s not fostering if I’m next of kin,” The professor grouched as she looked at the protegee. “Were you Alrick’s niece?”

“What’s an Alrick?” the protegee asked.

“He was a person. My person.” The professor looked away, more downcast. “And I…lost him.”

The protegee immediately hugged her legs. “I like you. We’re all here for you.”

“Heartwarming,” the professor said flatly while pushing the girl away. “But I need to figure out how exactly I’m supposed to watch you.”

“Well, normally we go skating after daycare,” the captain explained.

The professor raised her brows. “Skating?”

“Yeah, we’re training for roller derby,” the second-in-command grumbled. “It’s nothing you’d be interested in.”

She scoffed. “She’s a little young for that, innit?”

“We’re just…priming her up for when she gets older,” the captain explained stiffly.

“Charming. Now where do you skate?”

“Normally we’d go to our rink but we’ve had an infestation, so we’re stuck at free skates!” The second-in-command threw his hands in the air. “The leagues are probably conspiring against us to sabotage our hideout. That way we’ll be stuck with slowpokes.”

The professor snorted. “They don’t give a bloody damn where you practice, short pants. There are no victims in roller derby, just circumstance.”

The protegee giggled. “You’re weird.”

“Yes, I am!” She sighed, and then slid off her jacket. “If you’re looking for a quiet place to skate, then…” 

The captain was too distracted to listen to the professor, looking at her arms. They were toned biceps, some covered in tattoos. Those were arms of a derby skater, muscled and colored and ready for action.

The professor pulled the braid over her shoulder, revealing her strong back as well. “Are you even listening?” She grumbled. “Ough, I’ll just pick you up tomorrow.” 

“Hello…That’s me…Wait, really?!…Wait, is the other team…Oh…Okay…Thank you so much!” Grace hung up her cell phone, resisting the urge to jump in the air. 

This had been perfect timing, as the team was meeting in just thirty minutes. For some reason everyone still wanted to practice derby drills after losing tryouts, but this news would give them all a reason to still hang out. “Hey Min, you ready?”

Her friend seemed to be busy on the phone as well, whispering in tones she couldn’t hear. His eyes briefly darted towards Grace’s, and then he said one last thing before clicking his phone off. “Hey! Sorry about that,” Min said sheepishly as he straightened up.

“You okay? You’re acting weird,” Grace raised an eyebrow as she slung her skate bag over her shoulder.

“Me? Weird? Pshh, no,” Min answered. She could practically hear him sweating. “Let’s uh, get to the rink! Wouldn’t wanna keep them waiting.”

Clearly Min was hiding something, and being really bad at it, but this one time Grace decided to not needle him about it. Her news was too exciting to be preoccupied with anything else, anyway.

The ride to the rink had been pretty uneventful, the two of them bringing up anything but skating. It became clear why, as Grace was met with cheers the moment she opened the door. 

“PHOENIX! PHOENIX! PHOENIX!” Kez, Ryan, and Mikayla were chanting, huge smiles plastered to their faces. Kez added to the noise by swinging her keys around.

“Guys! What’s this all about?” Grace gasped, looking to Min-Gi. He just flashed her an innocent, bad-liar smile.

“Well, we have good news!” Ryan announced and nodded to Mikayla, who brought out a large box. When Grace looked up at everyone, they simply looked at her expectantly. She turned to the box and opened it, and what she saw nearly caused her to drop it.

Rose-colored jerseys lined the inside of the box. Bold, cursive letters spelled out ‘chronic cranes’ lined the front of each shirt. The fiery crane logo graced the bottom of the shirts, flames coming out on the backside of the wheels. 

“We got the jerseys?!” Grace shouted.

“We got the jerseys!” Kez confirmed, and everyone screamed in excitement. Blake was probably none too happy about the noise, but he was probably hiding in a corner somewhere. Not that the team paid any mind to that.

“Guys, this looks awesome!” Grace asked as she put the box down to pick up and inspect the jerseys. She flipped one of them around to find her number and derby name on it: Stevie Phoenix, 148. “The logo came out great, too!”

“I know, it’s sick! It’s almost better than the CCJ logo!” Ryan commented as he picked his jersey out, marveling at his jersey marked ‘Ryuchi Smackamoto, 202.’

“You think so?” Min asked, sounding almost insecure. His face flushed up to his ears.

“Well, almost,” Ryan nudged Min in the elbow. “Nothing is gonna beat Chicken Choice Judy in my book.” Min chuckled awkwardly, but Ryan still regarded him warmly. 

“Well, I think it’s awesome, thank you guys,” Grace said genuinely.

“Go team artists!”Kez hollered as she waved her jersey imprinted with ‘Hell’s Belle, 415’ She spun Mikayla around by the hands, the two of them giggling all the way. She hopped on Min’s shoulders, and began to chant. “Chronic Cranes! Chronic Cranes!” The rest of the team joined in the cacophony, lasting a solid fifteen seconds before it sizzled out into fits of giggles. 

“Oh! We almost forgot,” Mikayla startled. The jersey marked ‘Sailor Doom, 17’ fluttered out of her hands and into the box. “Kez, Ryan, do you have the thing?”

“The thing?” Kez looked at Ryan and Min, confused until they gave her a pointed glance. “Oh! The thing!” Sliding off Min’s shoulders, she hurried over to her skate bag and brought out a brown paper bag, handing it to Ryan. 

“For being such a great captain and coach, this is from us to you,” Ryan explained as he held the bag out to Grace. 

“Aw, guys, you didn’t have to,” Grace smiled warmly at the unexpected surprise. The smile quickly disappeared as she gazed into the bag, dumbfounded at its contents.

“Go on, try it on,” Ryan encouraged, stifling a snort. The rest of the team seemed to be straining to keep on straight faces as well. Grace, deadpan, stared up at the team, and walked away into the bathroom. A few minutes passed in silence, and Grace re-emerged, wearing her gift.

It was a striped, tie-dyed, white and pink t-shirt. A flamingo wearing roller skates sat in the middle of the shirt, standing atop the words, ‘just roll with it.’ The shirt had a ‘justice’ logo in the top corner. It didn’t even cover Grace’s belly button, it fit so snug.

The team was breathing hard through their noses, waiting for any indication of Grace’s expression cracking. Her emotionless stare remained a few more seconds before she cracked a smile. “I hate you guys so much.”

The Chronic Cranes doubled over in a deluge of laughter.

“The look on your face!” Kez pointed at Grace, who had trouble remaining serious. 

“The flamingo kinda looks like a crane?” Mikayla attempted a serious tone before breaking out into giggles again.

“Okay, who’s idea was this? Mikayla? Kez? Ryan?”

“Actually…” Ryan’s eyes pointed upwards towards Min. “Your advisor was the one that came up with it.” 

Min-Gi clenched his teeth, anticipating his punishment. Grace walked slowly to face Min-Gi, only to dive in for a hug.

“Thanks, Min” she whispered.

“Really? I didn’t realize you-hey!” he grunted as Grace ran her hands through his perfectly slicked hair. She jumped back to revel in the spiky mess that was Min’s head, his face reflecting his disgruntlement. “It took me ten minutes to get my hair like that!”

“Oh, she got you good!” Kez laughed along with the rest of the team.

“Yeah,” Mikayla commented, sighing as she came down from the high. The shimmer in her eyes seemed to fade. “It’s too bad we can’t compete sooner, though.”

“Actually,” Grace started, waiting for everyone’s eyes to be on her. “Today I just got a phone call from the league…”

“Uh-huh,” everyone said in unison.

“And due to some line up changes, we can actually compete in the next competition!” She squealed, her voice rising in excitement.

“Wait, really!?” Mikayla exclaimed.

“Mhm-hm!” Grace broke out into a wide smile, pulling her jacket onto her shoulders. “They even said they could modify the rules to have a 4-player line up if we can’t find a fifth.”

“When do we go in?” Ryan asked.

“The tournament starts in February, so we have all of break to get ready!” Grace practically shouted. “If we make it to finals, we’ll finish up around March!”

“This rules!” Kez reeled, flexing her muscles. “The rink will be no match for Hell’s Belle!”

“Not to mention Ryuichi Smackamoto and Sailor Doom!” Ryan added as he slung an arm over Mikayla.

“And how can we forget our captain,” Mikayla said as she pulled Grace in for a hug. “Stevie Phoenix!”

“Phoenix! Phoenix! Phoenix!” The whole group started chanting as they encircled Grace in a group hug. She didn’t show it, but it was the first time in months she felt any sense of community. The hype didn’t need to be facilitated by her; all the excitement came from her teammates themselves. Grace let herself be embraced, living in this moment even if it meant wearing the stupid ‘justice’ shirt.

“Hey! We should celebrate!” Mikayla piped up.

“I heard a rink downtown is having a huge adult skater night!” Kez mentioned. Grace looked at Min ominously, revealing a wicked grin.

“What now?” Min sighed. 

“Min,” Grace lilted. “You remember that deal we made before tryouts?”

Min balked. “You-we said it was if you guys won tryouts.”

“Nuh-uhhh,” Mikayla piped in, wiggling her eyebrows mischievously. “It was if we got into the main competition.” The room dangerously silenced, eyes of the four skaters onto Min like a pack of vultures onto their prey.

“But-listen-” Min kept starting and stopping his sentences as the team kept ramping up their insistence. This eventually devolved with all of them following Ryan’s lead of taking him by the arm and dragging him out the door, leaving the new uniform box behind in a state of chaos. 

They decided to practice in a skate park that day. Since there was a construction site next to it, less people would come during the week to avoid the din of machinery and worker conversation. 

“So to block, you push back like this!” The captain explained as she and the second-in-command chest caught each other. The protegee was taking a break to watch them practice contact drills. 

“You gotta go back and forth to make sure you’re covered on all sides. Otherwise-”

The second-in-command found a gap and skated around the captain. “The jammer gets around you, and that’s when your team really needs to kick in.” His face darkened. “You’ll have to play a little harder, force them into a penalty or even try to get them out of the game. Sometimes we’ll even have to wheel them-”

“Hey,” The captain scolded him.

“What? The rink is ours, not theirs.” He threw an arm over the captain’s shoulder, oblivious to the young girl’s discomfort. “That’s how we do things.”

“ It’s just a game,” the professor muttered. She worked on her tablet off to the side on a bench, not even looking up.

“Just a game? This is how we stay on top.” The second-in-command marched over, insulted. The captain almost stopped him, but wasn’t in the mood to see him more angry. He looked at her belt again, and grew more inflamed. “And it’s to prevent posers like you from co-opting our symbol.”
She stood up, exasperated. “What are you prattling on about?”

“You’re corrupting the mark of the Apex!”

“What this belt? It’s a sine wave, pip squirt,” the professor chided him. She became more confused as she looked at the rest of them. “Wait, is that why you’ve smeared lipstick on your faces?”

“This mark represents the Cruel Conductor,” the captain explained. “A skater who wore a helmet with a big red wave on it.”

“Yeah!” The second-in-command pointed. “And if they weren’t booted from the league, they’d eat you alive!”

The professor doubled over in laughter. What was wrong with her?

“So this skater had a helmet with a wave on it.” The professor wiped a tear from her eye. “And let me guess, took over the Scrappy Stewards team after beating them?”

The captain gasped. The game she saw when she was a kid!

“If anyone is a Cruel Conductor, it was yours truly.” The professor mockingly bowed.

“That can’t be right, you’re not enforcing your power or anything!” the second-in-command argued. “Instead you’re grading papers!

“It’s a persona, genius! You really think people go around hitting people and destroying things off skates?”

“Ten years ago!” The captain skidded over, interrupting them. “Ten years ago, do you remember saving a little girl from getting crushed by a skater at a rink in a pumpkin patch?”

“No,” the professor said shortly. “Now let me finish grading while you keep doing your training or what have you.”

Walking back to her seat, she grunted in the second-in-command’s face to make him flinch. Shaking his head, he skated back to the starting line.

A weight sank down the captain’s chest as she watched the professor type. She began to understand why her name was the Cruel Conductor.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” Min grumbled as he collapsed on the bench with his rental skates. The rest of the team was gearing up for the free skate alongside him.

“Relax! No stunts, remember?” Grace playfully elbowed him before lacing up her own skates. 

“Mm, I guess,” Min grumbled. He reached down to tie his skates, making more and more impassioned noises.

“Hey, we got you!” Ryan encouraged him. “I’ll even give you my kneepads if you want.”

“I’m not made of glass, Ryan,” Min complained, standing up. “I can handle a little-WHOA!”

He slipped backwards, legs flailing up to his waist. A pair of hands snatched him to pull him forwards, steadying him upright. Min looked up sheepishly, facing a smiling Ryan that saved him from a nasty tail bone injury. “…skating.”

“Okay! Offer’s still open if you change your mind.” Ryan shrugged. “Now just relax and follow my lead, okay? I won’t let you fall.”

“Okay,” Min squeaked out. He let Ryan lead him out onto the rink floor. Turning back towards Grace one more time, she gave him an encouraging wave. He gritted his teeth in what she guessed was a nervous smile before returning to his impromptu skating lesson.

“Look at those corpses go.” Grace turned to see Kez popping a large bubble before resuming chewing her gum. “At this rate Min will be skating with us and we can play with 5 people!”

Grace snorted. “Please! When I first brought up derby to him, he thought we would be skating over alligator pits and crap like that. I could twist his arm and he still wouldn’t play.”

“Well, maybe we could convince him to do more of…” Kez teetered off, rolling her wrist in a circle while gesturing at the rink. “Whatever they’re doing out there?”

“Well, there’s mostly jam and rhythm skaters here, like that girl over there!” Grace pointed at a girl with a long afro and a pink flannel. She went around in a few disco turns,  sliding on the floor like she walked on water. “See how she’s shuffling her feet? She’s dancing with her skates on.”

“Cool,” Kez said, entranced with the girl’s moves. “Do you think we could expand the roller skating club to that kind of skating, too?”

“Well, we are mainly derby focused, which is a different skating style.” Grace turned to Kez, who was giving her big doe eyes. She tipped her head coyly. “Buuuuut I’ll think on it.”

Immediately Kez smiled and pumped her fist in victory. “Yes!”

“Tulip! Hey!” Grace and Kez turned their heads to Mikayla’s voice. While her skates were on, she was still sitting on the bench, looking at her phone. “How are you feeling?”

“A little better,” a sniffly voice came from the phone. “I hope I get over this cold quick. Wait, I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

“Oh, I’m out skating with the Cranes.” Mikayla waved Grace and Kez over. She held out the phone, displaying a red-nosed and scruffly looking Tulip. “Say hi!” 

“Hi, Tulip!” Grace skated over and waved. 

“Hey, Lips, how are you doing?” Kez greeted in her Kez-ian fashion.

Through the phone screen, Tulip narrowed her eyes. “First of all, never call me that again. And second, feeling sick but trying to get better.”

“Maybe that’ll teach you to stop running yourself into the ground with school and clubs!” Mikayla chided. 

“I’m trying! I’m trying,” Tulip complained. “Anyways, what are you up to?”

Mikayla looked at Grace. “Well, Grace gave us some good news.”

Taking the hint, Grace smiled. “It turns out one of the teams couldn’t compete, so we’re playing in the tournament this season!”

“ACHOO!” Tulip sneezed. Her eyes were widened in recovery, and then she quickly brightened into a smile. “That’s amazing, congrats!”

“Thanks!” Mikayla was clearly happy with the praise from her friend.

“Say, it’s been a while since Tulip’s seen us practice,” Grace thought aloud. “Mikayla, why don’t you show her some of your moves?”

Mikayla blinked in surprise. “You sure?”

“Yeah! Give me your phone.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Mikayla handed the phone to Grace. She skated out on the track just as Ryan and Min pulled up to the carpet. When Ryan opened his mouth to say something, Grace put a finger to her lips and pointed at the phone.

Mikayla got out on the track, speeding while avoiding bumping into other skaters. She did her perfectly practiced slaloms, and then was her practiced trick at the curve: a backwards spin on her toe stop to leap forward, the same way a jammer would to sneak through a tight space at the curve’s apex.

“Yeah, Sailor!” Grace cheered, and the rest of the team whooped alongside her. Even a few of the passing skaters joined in on a little applause. Mikayla swooped back, ducking shyly as she reached back for her phone. “What did you think?”

“That’s so cool!” Tulip said. “I can’t believe you learned how to do all this in a few months.”

Mikayla proudly puffed up her hair. “Well, maybe I’m just a quick learner.”

“Of course you are-ACHOO!” Tulip sneezed, wiping her nose. “But, if you need help with the new tournament, I could…ask around.”

Everyone looked at each other. “Ask around?” Grace asked.

“Well, I know people in my club, so I could…see if they wanna help?”

Mikayla’s smile grew tenfold. “You’d do that for me?”

“Well, yeah! I mean, I said I’d check, I don’t know what they’ll say but…I’ll check!” Tulip’s cheeks reddened along with her already sore nose.

“Thank you so much!” Mikayla waved. “I’m gonna go, but we’ll talk later. Feel better!”

“Thanks, bye all!” Kez and Grace obnoxiously squished around Mikayla’s face in the camera frame, Ryan dragging Min there too to offer a quick wave. After an out-of-sync goodbye, Tulip hung up and Mikayla put the phone back in her pocket. 

“I can’t believe she’s gonna help out!” Mikayla said cheerfully. 

“Yeah.” Ryan looped an arm around Mikayla’s neck to give her a playful squeeze. “Maybe she can buy us skate parts for cheap, like how she bought all my video games except my mint copy of Nintendogs!”

“Would you stop with that!” Mikayla playfully shoved Ryan, who laughed in turn.

“So, where to next?” Min asked as he fixed Ryan’s kneepads on his legs.

“I wanna request a song.” Kez swiveled her head back and forth. “Where’s the DJ?”

“Over there!” Grace pointed to the turntable stand. She looked back at Ryan helping a hobbling Min. “You two coming?”

“Yeah, as long as you don’t pick any Bee Gees junk to play,” Min grumbled as he gripped the wall onto the rink floor.

“Well, that’s a TRAGEDY!” Ryan finished his sentence in a falsetto, earning him a nudge from Min. Everyone laughed at the joke as they glided over to the DJ stand. 

Ryan adjusted his glasses. “Is that-?”

“Blake?” Grace finished the sentence. Sure enough, it was none other than their punk acquaintance jamming at a laptop.

He paused and pulled his headphones down. “Oh, hey guys! What brings you here?”

“We’re just celebrating…what are you doing here?” Grace shook her head in disbelief.

“It’s a side gig I take up sometimes.” He shrugged.

“Well, you look like you’re having fun,” Mikayla said. 

“Yeah, I think this is the happiest I’ve seen you,” Min agreed, staring at him to make sure this was their Blake.

“The rules at this rink are looser for adult skates so we can do what we want. Way better than monitoring middle schoolers so they don’t stick gum on the rink walls.”

Blake shook his head in disgust. “Anyways, what’cha want?”

“Oh! Can you play disco?” Kez asked. 

Blake raised his pierced brow. “You’re gonna need to be a little more specific.”

“Hmm.” Kez put a finger on her chin, then leaned over the table to whisper in his ear.

“I think I got something.” Blake nodded. “Go skate out, I’ll get you after this song!”

“Thanks!” Grace waved, and the Chronic Crane crew skated out on the floor. 

“This rink is nice!” Mikayla said. “How did you find this, Kez?” 

“Was looking up stuff for night skating.” Kez shrugged. “Didn’t wanna take you all to like, a nerd rink.”

“Of course,” Grace fondly rolled her eyes. Most of the skaters were closer to their ages, gliding around the reflections from the mirror ball. The lights illuminated the murals of bubbles on the walls. The streaks of the paint looked newer, like they covered up an old mural. Something felt oddly familiar about it. “Do you know how long this rink has been around?”

Kez made an ‘I dunno’ sound, so Grace let it slide. When you’ve been to as many skating rinks as Grace had, they start to blend together.

“Alright skaters!” Blake spoke through the speakers. “The next song is for someone I’m…very familiar with.”

“WOO, GO BLAKE!” Kez shouted towards the DJ table. 

“Love you, Blake!” Ryan added with a hand heart.

“You’re the best rink DJ!” Mikayla waved excitedly.

Grace decided to join in and holler a ‘woo-hoo’ at him, if only because it was a little funny. Blake stared at their group, sighed, and turned the music back on. The beginning electric guitars of the song began to play, and Kez cheered.

“Asked him to play ‘Bad Girls’ for my bad girls!” Kez held up two hang tens. “And Ryan and Min, of course.”

“Eh, I can be a girl for this song.” Ryan shrugged while Min flailed his arms to keep balance.

“Oh, I love this song!” Mikayla exclaimed as the vocals began to play. Kez whizzed over to her and grabbed her hands, spinning the two of them in a circle. Ryan scooted over to gently bop them with his hips, Min in tow.

“Hey! Let me show you something.” Grace skated in front of the rest of the group. “Stagger your feet back and forth like this.”

Grace shuffled her feet, and the rest of her friends followed suit with varying degrees of success.

“Then try lifting up your heel on the foot going backwards. There you go!”

Kez picked it up naturally, even managing to do a slower turn. Mikayla only lifted her heels a little bit, but balanced it out with arm movements to dance. 

“How are you all doing this so fast?” Min panted as he staggered his feet.

“We’ve been doing this longer than you,” Ryan reminded him as he shuffled. He was going for faster strides, making him a little wobbly but fluid looking. 

“Wait, I think I got it.” Min stuck out his tongue as he began to lift his heel. However, he brought his back foot up too far, tipping his balance forward and sending him crashing to the floor on his kneepads.

“Min! Careful.” Ryan rushed to his side and helped him up. 

“Thanks,” he groaned. His face flushed, but he didn’t let go of Ryan’s hand where he was pulled up. “Ugh, I feel so clumsy. I’m probably gonna get a nasty bruise later.”

“It’s okay! Bruises mean you’re working hard!” Grace pulled up her pant leg to show various bruises peppering her calves. “I heard somewhere that they’re called derby kisses,” she said proudly.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” Min gasped at her injuries.

“Pfft, totally! I barely feel them after a while, derby kisses are a rite of passage.” The first part was true, mostly. Falls and hits were leaving her more sore than usual after practices. Despite what the doctor had told her, it was hard for her to slow down when her instinct was to keep pushing. 

Min looked like he was gonna lecture her, but instead he sighed and smiled. “Well, if you say so, I believe it.”

Grace blinked, then smiled back. 

“Wait a second.” Mikayla looked at Min with a glint in her eye. “If bruises are a rite of passage, does that mean Min needs to get a derby name by the time he gets his first skating bruise?”

“Oh no, not this again.” Min lazily pushed a hand through his hair. “I’m not even skating on the team.”

“Non-skating people have derby names, too, you know.” Grace playfully nudged his shoulder.

“I came up with a name for you already. It’s…” Kez spun dramatically, posing her hands as if she held up a sign. “The Hard G.”

Min lurched forward, Ryan and Grace catching him. “I’m sorry, the WHAT?”

“You know, because you’re always yelling at your boss that your name is pronounced with a hard g.”

“Barclay says your name wrong?” Mikayla asked, concerned.

“Barclay’s not my boss, Horace is. You’ve never met him, and hopefully you never will,” Min scoffed. 

“Well, at least you’ll be out of there once you graduate,” Grace assured him. He hummed, malcontented.

“And you will get out.” Ryan put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure that internship you applied for pays better than that diner.” 
Grace’s ears perked up. “Internship?”

Min crossed his arms, looking away. “I may have…applied to an internship at the business school this summer.” His mouth twitched. “And I may have gotten into the final interviews.”

“Really? That’s amazing!” Mikayla clapped. “Go Min!”

“Congrats, man.” Ryan nodded at Min. He forced a smile on his face.

“Thanks,” Min said quietly. He paused a moment before saying, “I do wanna make space to see your New York show, though.”

Ryan’s brows raised. “What?”

“I know I can’t stay long, but I wanna support your stuff too, you know?” 

“OOH! Maybe we could all do a field trip to see Ryan play in the big leagues!” Kez popped between the two of them. She hopped up to give Ryan a peck on the cheek. “Just tell us when.”

“Oh, yeah! Yeah, it’s still a work in progress, but I will.” Ryan faltered. He coughed. “But uh, Kez! You’re gonna be graduating soon, too! What’s your plan after?”

“Well, I gotta do clinical hours and a bunch of other junk before I can work.” Kez stretched her arms over her head. “But I wanna do counseling stuff.”

“Counseling who?” Mikayla asked.

“I dunno yet. Maybe kids, maybe adults. I don’t think hospitals are for me because it’s too much science-y science, but having an office would be nice.” Kez did a little spin.  “I just wanna help people get through their stuff.”

“Well, just don’t go kissing your clients on the cheek for support,” Grace teased.

“I just do it with my friends!” Kez crowed defensively. “Besides, it’s haram.” 

“Kez, a lot of stuff you do is haram, to be fair,” Ryan pointed out.

“I just lapsed for a while, no biggie! I’m currently un-lapsing, so take that.” Kez wagged a finger in Ryan’s face. “Besides, I feel like you and Min are more like my family, so it’s okay if I’m touchy-feely with you guys, right?”

“Really? Because when I asked about that the first time you kissed my cheek, you said we were basically married,” Min raised an eyebrow, hands on his hips. 

Kez giggled. “I can’t believe you fell for that, you got a few gray hairs.”

“That’s so bad, Min,” Grace stifled a laugh.

“Listen, I just didn’t wanna be disrespectful, okay?” Min threw his hands in the air. “It’s not my fault Kez gave me false information.”

“Oh, so it’s now haram for women to have fun?” Kez rolled her eyes.

“If it’s lying, then yes!” Min put a finger on his chin. “I think.”

Mikayla whispered to him. “I think lying is bad in all religions.”

“Hmph. Only God can judge me, not you corpses,” Kez pouted, poking her tongue out. She turned towards Mikayla. “Anyways, what are you gonna do, Miss Graphic Design?”

“Well, I have a couple ideas,” Mikayla explained. “I could try to work in advertising and then have a webcomic or online store on the side. Tulip said I could design websites, but I’m not sure.”

“It sounds pretty flexible, like you could find work anywhere,” Min mentioned.

“You know what they say,” Kez said. “The world’s your oyster, so slurp it up.”

Grace raised an eyebrow. “Pretty sure nobody says that.” 

Mikayla laughed. “Yeah I guess. It’s just hard, in some ways. Like I wanna create and draw, but wanna save time where I can make stuff for myself, you know?”

“Totally,” Ryan agreed. “You gotta sell enough, but not enough to sell out.”

“Exactly!” Mikayla agreed. “What about you, Grace?”

Grace jerked her head up. “Huh?”

“Dance is an art, how do you balance your passion and your work?” Mikayla asked. “I know you’re doing dance and teaching for school, but I never asked what you wanted to do with it.”

“Oh! Well, I was gonna try to start out in the dance field and then work my way up to being a choreographer,” Grace said. “I could work with kids if I really wanted to.”

“What kind of choreography?” Ryan asked.

“Any kind, I guess, I’m flexible.”

“Ooh, do you think you’d ever be a skate coach?” Kez asked. “You seem to know a bunch of skating styles.”

“It’s not exactly a lucrative field. I would if I could, but I’ll just work with what I have for right now.” She shrugged. “I’m good at dance, and I’m good with kids, so…”

“You’ll do great,” Min said confidently. “You always do.”

“Yeah, I guess I do.” Grace smiled, but it slipped off her face. It was her default answer whenever she was asked about her career direction. The dancing field was cutthroat, and while Grace could handle harsh criticism and competition, she couldn’t control the fact that she could only be hired for so long. Dancers typically ended their careers younger than most other fields due to athletic demands, but if she got into choreography, it could still give her influence and control. And she loved working with kids.

Well, she hadn’t seen any kids since last year. And her academic probation prevented her from working in the teaching clinics. But Grace was a resilient leader, and could get back into it.

If she couldn’t, then what would that say about her?

“I kinda wanna talk to that skater over there,” Mikayla said. “I just don’t know how to approach her.”

“Just watch and learn from Mama Kez.” Kez flexed her hands, then skated over to the girl in the pink shirt from earlier. 

“HeyIlikeyourmovesokaybyeeeeeeeeee!” Kez scooted by her a bit too fast, careening around the bend before skidding on her kneepads. 

Grace laughed as Kez quickly got up and returned to the group. “How’d you forget your plow stops already?”

“Hey, I remembered my falls!” Kez pouted. 

“Fair enough.”

“I think I’m gonna do it,” Min said suddenly. “I think I’m gonna skate with no help.”

Ryan grinned. “Okay, daredevil. Show us what you got.”

Letting go of Ryan’s hand, Min pumped his skates. His stride was still more akin to a slow waddle, but he was skating without any wall. He turned towards the rest of the team and gave them an excited thumbs up.

“Go Min!” Everyone cheered.

“You’re a natural!” Ryan whooped. He leaned over to Grace’s ear. “I’m gonna spot him and make sure he doesn’t fall.”

Grace laughed. “Go ahead.” Ryan skated ahead, waving happily as Min proudly strode in small steps.

“Those corpses grow up so fast,” Kez said.

“Hey!” A new voice joined the conversation. Everyone turned to see the girl in the pink flannel. “I thought you said something earlier, but I couldn’t hear.”

“Oh! I was just saying you have good skate moves.”

“I agree!” Mikayla popped in.

“Thanks!” The girl said. “You’re pretty smooth on the floor yourselves.”

“Thanks! We’re on a roller derby team actually.” Mikayla said, pulling Grace forward. “This is our skate captain.”

“Nice!” The girl waved and smiled. “I know it’s not the same, but I can show you some jam skate moves if you want.”

“Really, we’d love that!” Kez exclaimed. “Let’s go!” The girls tore off, and Grace followed a few feet off the to the outside of them.

She drifted to the side, watching the jam skater give the lesson. She was agile, possibly more than Grace. Kez and Mikayla watched her intently as she gave the lesson. Kez would flail a little, and Mikayla would laugh as the girl patiently explained it to them. Ryan and Min would also pass them at intervals, now moving faster than before. Min looked a little more relaxed, and Ryan seemed more than emphatic to show him the ropes. Everyone was having a good time.

And then there was Grace.

But Grace also was having a good time! She didn’t need to be the center of attention. She knew that Min, Ryan, Kez and Mikayla all cared about her regardless of who they were talking to. 

However…Ryan and Min were practically attached at the hip now, Min gripping Ryan’s hand less anxiously as they laughed about something. It was clear from the earlier phone call that Mikayla would always fall her roommate friend group, specifically Tulip. And Kez also seemed enthusiastic about meeting new people, especially getting back into the dating scene. Everyone has someone.

And then there was Grace.

But dating wasn’t everything! Grace didn’t want nor need it, she had other things going for her, like her skating.

However…everyone in the friend group had pretty specific career paths, some not allowing for the time needed during derby practice. The club was made through their college, after all. And after graduation, they’d have to really grow up and start working. Everyone had their end goals.

And then there was Grace.

But Grace didn’t need to worry about that right now! She was here to skate and enjoy the music. 

The last track ended, and then a new track started, a lot quieter.

Reluctantly crouched at the starting line

Engines pumping and thumping in time

Oh no. Not this song.

The green light flashes, the flags go up

Churning and burning, they yearn for the cup

Any song but this one.

Grace looked up at the mural walls to distract herself, and noticed something different. A shadow of an old painting hid behind the new, thin coat of paint. Drifting closer to get a better look, Grace traced her fingers over the bubble murals to see the shape underneath. There were jagged lines where the white paint covered up.

She froze. It was a puffer fish.

The same puffer fish from the murals she and her childhood friend first visited as kids. The rink they went to before they found their own space. No wonder the place felt so familiar, even in the dark with a different coat of paint. But if this was that old rink, that meant it was close to…

He’s going the distance, he’s going for speed

The room began to spin. Nausea overcame her, as she realized she was listening to his favorite song in his favorite rink he would visit with her as kids (at least, favorite before their new rink. His new rink). Every drum beat and baseline seemed to get louder and louder, the lyrics screaming in her ears.

She’s all alone (All alone!) All alone in a time of need

Everyone was dancing to the music with reckless abandon, enjoying the night.

And then there was…

“Grace!” 

“What?” Grace blinked, and realized Min saying her name. “Oh, what’s up?”

“I was just gonna ask if you wanted to request a song while I go to the DJ booth.” Min pointed with his thumb to Blake’s station.

“Oh, no I’m okay!” she said hurriedly. “Actually, I’m gonna take a quick break.”

“Okay!” Min smiled and nodded, oblivious to Grace being distracted. “And Grace?”

“Yeah?”

He walked a little closer, lowering his voice a bit. “I just wanted to say thanks.”

Grace scoffed. “For what?”

“You know, just everything you do.” Min put a hand on her shoulder. “Your confidence in this team spreads to everyone and helps us get along, I hope you know that.”

“Oh, thanks.” It normally would’ve made Grace feel good, but now she felt like she was gonna throw up. “Anyways, I’ll be outside for a minute.”

“Okay, see you soon!” Min waved and skated off towards their other friends, steadier than when he started. They were all laughing as they skated together.
And then there was Grace.

She stepped into the rink foyer, hoping the cool air would help her think more clearly. A pit began to form in her stomach, and her mind began to spiral. Her dread of the past triggered by the rink fueled her anxiety for the future. The tournament was exciting, but what would happen afterwards? When everyone had to go back to class? To graduate? To get a job and move away? Where would Grace be?

Quickly, she reached into her fanny pack to find any loose paper. Unfortunately, her sticky note stash was depleted. Cursing herself, Grace decided to resign to making origami from the flyers on the corkboard. She shuffled hastily to see which one people would miss the least, and eventually tore down one.

Her hands began to fold on instinct, but paused looking at the odd layout of the paper. It had random lines strewn all over the page and a vague slogan:

Are you awesome? Proud? Excel in skating and merge a path all the way to the top! Crush opposition and end in victory!

There was no specific group named on the flyer that was advertising this. Grace traced her fingers on the sheet out of curiosity. Her nail wiggled over a squiggly line, and then her blood ran cold.

She folded a crease along one of the straight edge lines. Then another, and another, following the pattern that felt like second nature; she didn’t even realize how she could have forgotten. Each line, number and letter lined up perfectly until she couldn’t convince herself it wasn’t what she dreaded: a message.

Apex 

Mall opposite Victor

Grace exhaled a shaky breath. This rink was at the corner of Sand Street and Victor Avenue, how could she forget? Maybe she could blame it on being dark, or being too caught up in the news from earlier tonight. If the flyer was here, this meant not only was he still there, but actively recruiting, continuing the cycle Grace started years ago.

Hearing laughter in the rink, Grace looked back to see her teammates skating and dancing with whimsy. She looked ahead at the cross section of streets, towards where the address on the sheet of paper was. 

She skated into the darkness, crumpling the paper in her grip before dropping it.

The protegee was practicing the drill course they set up for her. She was going slowly to make sure she got the technique down, occasionally looking to the captain who would give her an encouraging word or two.

“So,” the captain started, looking at the professor. “You were the Cruel Conductor, huh?”

The professor looked out wistfully. “I was. I’d just lost Alrick. Didn’t like how the league did things.”

“Lies,” the second-in-command coughed. Both women glared at him.

“So, I took control,” the professor resumed pointedly. “Worked my way to captain of the league. Skated hard, mean, efficiently. I tried to hit my grief away, but it just grew so I needed to hit more until I couldn’t skate hard anymore.”

“Weak,” he coughed once more.

“Shh!” The captain harshly hushed him. She turned back to the professor. “So, how did you get kicked out?”

“Overstayed my welcome. My knees started getting bad, but I refused to level down. Both my team and my job had issues with my attitude, luckily my job just gave me a warning but my team booted me since I ended up hurting too many skaters.” She sighed. “It was for the best.”

“How is that for the best?” The second-in-command shouted. “You had all this power and what? Threw it away? They needed to get over it.”

“Why do you think they have rules about hitting?”

The captain hesitated. “To keep younger people from playing and outranking adults?”

The professor sighed. “Roller derby is a game made by adults. The rules are meant to keep each other safe regardless of your age. It’s a community, not a hierarchy. Once you win, the game is over and you go back to your own lives.”

“Lies! The rink is our right!” The second-in-command.

“Stop,” the captain said softly.

“Noooo, she’s brainwashing you!” he whined in his hands.

“Listen, she was the Cruel Conductor.”

“Well-” He stopped short. “Well even if she was, she’s lost her way.”

“Whatever way you think I had was never my way.” She poked at his chest. “Have you ever considered that you’ve been wrong? Ha! Of course not! You’re a child.”

His eyes widened, and contorted into angrily. “Say it again!” He lunged to hit her, but she stepped out of the way and sent him tumbling to the ground.

“I’ll give you to the count of three to stop,” the professor said with a neutral face. “Or I’ll put you down. One!”

The captain tried to hold back the second-in-command, but he pulled away and tried to kick the professor, who simply kept dodging his blows.

“Stop it, stop it!” The protegee cried, now aware of the drama.

“Two.”

The second-in-command growled, then launched himself towards the professor.

“Three.”

“AHHH!” Everyone turned towards the high pitched scream. 

The protegee was crying, fallen to her knees. From her scrapes bloomed red, scaly rashes. Her nails frantically scratched at the rashes as she whimpered from the flare.

“I-” The captain sweat, looking at the second-in-command’s astonished face. “I can’t believe it!”

“Blimey, her skin!” The professor gasped. “It was just like Alrick’s sister!”

“What are you talking about?” The second-in-command shouted irritably.

“She would break into a big rash like this.” The professor looked down at the protegee thoughtfully, as if she was an experiment rather than a child. “She won’t be able to do high contact sports like this. Come on, up, we’ll try to see a doctor before class.”

“Come on, let’s go,” the second-in-command whispered in the captain’s ear. “Leave the null with the old woman and finally go back to the base.”

The captain was off put by the nonchalant way he switched his language about the protegee. The little girl locked eyes with the captain.

“You aren’t leaving me, are you?” Her voice cracked. 

The captain looked back to the second-in-command, still watching her. If she broke his trust now, she’d lose not only his friendship, but everything they worked towards.

“I’ll leave if I want to, null,” the captain said with as much gusto as she could muster.

“Huh?” the protegee whimpered. The captain felt a shard in her heart realizing what she had done, and another when she heard the second-in-command chuckle cruelly.

She spoke to him. “Maybe…we do need a ride back to campus. It’s getting late and all.”

"What is the problem?” The second-in-command angrily shook her shoulders. “We can leave!”

“It’s just safer!” The captain jumped back, hugging herself. “It’s just safer this way, okay? It’s safer.”

A pause. “Okay,” he said flatly. “You’re the leader.”

The captain quickly took off her gear, trying to think of a plan. The second-in-command passed her back her fanny pack that she took off earlier. With her heavy burden to solve, the captain barely noticed the pack weighed a little less .

An eerie silence hung in the mall. Usually noise was to be found in every corner of the disused shopping plaza, from rowdy cheers to screeching wheels-on-floor action.

Now as Grace stood in the base’s threshold, not a skater was to be found, sending chills down her spine. The polish on the ramps and track around the escalator served to add to the unease. The base was exactly as she left it, save for one detail on the floor: red spray painted letters proclaiming, “Down with the False Conductor.”

Grace cautiously rolled in to see if there was any other sign of life. A book sat on a table by the escalator, so she picked it up. It was a spiral notebook titled “The Esmeroth Trilogy, Book 1: Rise of the True King.”

Grace couldn’t help but roll her eyes; his metaphors were always heavy handed.

“That’s as far as you go, void!” Grace jumped at the end of a broom shoved in her face. At the other end stood Lucille Brawl (even though Grace opted to call her Lucy most of the time). She scowled at her with one eye, the other eye covered by a patch from an unfortunate skating accident.

“Lucy, what’s going on?” Grace asked. “And…what’s a void?”

The scowl slightly faltered, and then returned. “You! And we all know how the Apex deals to voids.”

“Well, I don’t.” Grace walked towards her conversationally before the bristles of the broom pushed against her chest.

“Lord told us everything.”

“Lucy, I-”

“Lord of the Rink! Lord of the Rink!” The swirl of a noisemaker buzzed as Louis Loudmouth ran past the two of them towards the escalator. “The void infiltrated the base!”

Lucy gave Grace an apologetic glance. That’s when she knew that she wasn’t just trying to kick her out. 

She was trying to warn her.

A roar echoed throughout the mall, making the lights shake. Following the battle cry, the squelch of wheels surrounded Grace like a hurricane. Out of the shadows of the overhangs, swathes of kids and teens skated out in unison. Their smaller statures didn’t diminish their tight formation. While they were all trained to have an edge about them, this was different. It was cold. All of them closed in on Grace, pushing in towards her menacingly like a swarm of hornets.

“Whoa, wait, wait, stop!” She waved at them to back up. “It’s just me!”

The heat of a spotlight burned on her back. Grace turned. While she squinted her eyes to adjust, it would not prepare her for what she saw next.

“Look who came crawling back,” a familiar voice echoed, and Grace looked up the escalator. “The void that betrayed us all.”

Sitting atop what once was her throne of old hockey sticks, the figure was carried in the chair by several kids. His blond hair was no longer tied in it’s stubby ponytail, flowing long and loose off of his shoulders. A deep crimson jacket draped over his shoulders, now muscular and painted with bruises and neon green X’s. A lipstick wave stood out on his face like a wound; a battle scar proudly displayed. Grace almost wouldn’t have recognized him otherwise.

Facing her was the one and only: Lord of the Rink.

“I didn’t betray anyone,” Grace argued.

“Oh?” The Lord of the Rink rose from his throne and circled her, lion-like. “Then where’s your mark?”

Grace averted her eyes from his steely gaze, feeling bare in contrast to Lord’s red and green pigments on his pale skin. “Look, I just wanna talk.”

“Talk?” Lord chuckled darkly, then resumed his dark stare. “We’re skaters, we don’t talk. We skate.”

Pulling a whistle out from under his jacket, Lord blew into it sharply. “Apex! Wall formations!”

The crowd immediately dispersed away from Grace. Several groups of three lined up on the track, each roughly ten feet away from each other and braced in blocker stance.

“What are you waiting for?” Grace turned to see Lord giving her a sneer. “You were always so eager to jam. Unless you’ve forgotten the rules.”

Frustrated, she turned on her back wheels. “We’re not going to solve anything with a drill.” She held out her arms towards the rest of the skaters. “As leader, I think-”

“Most hits!” The empty sleeves of Lord’s jacket billowed out as he held out his arms arrogantly, much like a bird boasting it’s plumage. “I’m the leader now.” He encroached on her space. “Now don’t make me push you into starting.”

“Listen, I-”

BAM! A solid hit landed on Grace’s shoulder, sending her flying backwards. It was like Lord had barely moved his shoulder to get her off balance, and his smirk indicated he knew it too. Pursing her lips, Grace knew talking to him wasn’t going to work. She haggardly pushed herself to her feet, skating towards the packs. 

The first pack held steady, moving swiftly back and forth. It was a perfect ratio of fast and strong skaters, limber enough to jump to each position and firm enough to keep Grace from passing through.

Maybe they would listen. “Look, we’ve been doing things wrong-”

“Void coming on the inside!” Rookie Monster, the brace with choppy red hair, shouted. The inside blocker heaved to push her out of bounds, even kicking out a leg to knock her down. Luckily Grace was quick enough to dodge it and crossover to the outside, allowing her to escape through the outside curve. 

Approaching the next pack, she saw Kali Clysm as the outside blocker. She was on the older side of the Apex posse, so maybe she would listen.
Grace slid up to the pack in her charging position and was met with a chest block. “You know me! I wouldn’t try to hurt you on purpose!”

“Knock the void down!” came the orders from pink-haired Freddy Fracture as the brace. Kali complied, even if she had a guilty glance. Grace tried to say something else, but she nearly lost balance in how hard the pack knocked into her. This time she had to jump the Apex to get out of the pack.

“What was that? You let her get away!” Grace heard the kids scold Kali, ponytail swinging in shame against her studded jacket. “Do you wanna be a null?”

“Hey, that was a good wall!” Grace defended. “She stumbled, it happe-AH!” 

The third pack was a lot less forgiving, actively skating towards her to knock her back.

“That’s not even in game rules!” Grace protested as she attempted to wrestle her way through. “All three of you would’ve gotten a directional foul!”
The pack all began to mutter amongst themselves, wondering if it was true.

“Lies!” Lord called out. “The void has fallen to things like ‘rules and regulations,’ things made up by false conductors and officials to keep you from reaching your potential! Finish her!”

The doubt fizzled out and the pack continued to push back. “You really would come back to lie to us?”

“No! I’m trying to do the opposite!” Grace tried to jump through a small space, but ended up getting knocked to her knees. Thankfully she had her knee pads on, skidding a foot away from the pack. Instead of pausing, the pack closed in on her even further, a shock compared to what happened at the last game she played.

“Please, I don’t wanna fight!” She implored, trying to stand up. The pack formed a wall again, pushing her down to the floor. On the outside of the formation, Scuffles, a skater with an afro mohawk and beige t-shirt, approached Grace. He raised a skate, looking ready to kick.

Grace gritted her teeth. “I said,” she growled. “I don’t wanna fight!”

She swept out her leg and knocked the kicker flat out, making a hole in the pack so she could speed through. Adrenaline thrummed through her as she whizzed down the track, and a giggle escaped her. She plowed straight through the next pack, sending all three of them sprawling and not even looking back. 

Looking ahead, the next pack kept swiveling their heads towards and away from Grace. Five feet before she was going to push through, they all split up on their own. 

And the final obstacle was the Lord of the Rink, standing int he middle of the track with a neutral stare. Grace didn’t slow down, and he didn’t move. 

Fifteen feet. No change.

Ten feet. Stubborn as ever.

Five. Four. Three. Two.

In the last foot, Grace landed a harsh plow stop. Her wheels let out a wicked screech on the floor as she glowered at him, heart racing with boiling blood. Between the sweat in her eyes, she stared only inches away from Lord’s infuriatingly calm face.

Lord’s neutral expression cracked into a smirk. “Looks like you still got it.” He turned to the Apex. “No voids here, Apex! We have a contender!”

The rink cheered. Everyone’s expressions changed to that of confusion and malice to relief and joy. A funny tickle rested in Grace’s chest, and since the first time she entered the mall, she let herself smile. She really was able to get through all those packs, and in turn, she got respect. 

“Now everyone! Line up, and I’ll adjust your marks!” Everyone readily got into line.

Well, almost everyone. The ones that hesitated and let Grace through straggled towards the back, not looking at anyone. A few kids were recovering on the ground as well, cradling scraped limbs. Grace’s heart sank when she realized she rammed right into them. She started to head towards them when an arm pushed her back.

“I’ll handle this,” Lord said, not even looking towards the back. “You wait over there, and then we can discuss matters.” He shared a smile with her, and something in her felt like this one wasn’t of the malice he displayed earlier. Something more familiar.

Friendship. “Welcome back, Swan.”

The captain woke up to her head knocking against the window. Rubbing her sore head, she realized she fell asleep on the car ride back from the rink to campus in order to avoid talking with anyone through the heavy traffic. The professor was driving, the protegee sitting in the passenger seat with her face pressed into her knees, and the second-in-command glaring out the window.

“So, I’ve been thinking,” the captain started. “It was a big surprise to find out our young friend has…some medical complications.”

“Just so you know, I have class after I drop you off,” the professor said sternly. “You do have a time limit.”

“I need to get this out, okay?” the captain retorted, then resumed her placid expression. “From what I understand, this skin condition will make it dangerous for her to skate and she’ll need extra protection. As leader of the Apex, I have a group to protect.” She paused for emphasis. “And she’s part of that group! We don’t leave Apex behind.”

The second-in-command scoffed, but the captain ignored it.

“You’re sticking with us,” the captain leaned towards the front seat where the protegee sat, giving her a big smile.

“I don’t wanna go with you,” the protegee murmured, tightening her hug around her knees.

“Huh? Hey, it’s okay, we can work on the skin thing-”

“I’m not going with you!” The protegee yelled, flipping her head upwards so she could look in the backseat. “You said the Apex was supposed to be brave, but if that’s true, why are you all so…scared of me?”

The second-in-command glared at the little girl, but she glared right back. 

The captain tried to interject. “Listen, I-”

“I don’t wanna go skating anymore.” The protegee was now facing the professor. “You say you know things about me that I don’t. I wanna go with you.”

“Well of course you’re coming with me!” The professor said as if it was obvious. “But don’t think of it as some coming of age thing, this is your health! You still have to look out for your rashes, I can’t always be your parent.” 

“Swan and Lord weren’t either.” A pang hit the captain right in the chest. “I promise I’ll take care of myself.”

All the captain heard ringing in her ears was ‘Swan wasn’t either,’ repeating over and over in her mind as her chest heaved and her eyes welled. The professor was cold, testy, bad with kids, but the protegee chose her over the Apex in the end. 

And the captain didn’t feel ready to admit why. 

“Alright, here you are.” The professor put the car in park. They climbed out, and she rolled down the window. The protegee now looked as cold as their new caretaker. “I suppose this is it. If you want my personal advice, I’d get a better hobby before you get too old.”

“Listen, it’s not too late to change your mind,” the captain begged, barely holding back tears.

The protegee held up a hand to wave. She said cooly, “Good luck.”

The car drove off without another word. Something inside burst inside the captain, and she wailed, feeling her heart torn out as it got dragged away along with the vanishing along the horizon.

The marking procedure took a while. Grace watched at the table where she found the Esmeroth book, catching her breath from the intense drill.

Each Apex member approached Lord, who would scrutinize them before deciding how many green X’s to draw on their arms. Grace couldn’t help but wince at the few kids that got little to no X’s, especially hobbling Scuffles and ashamed Kali. Once they were done, Lord blew his whistle to send the Apex back to running drills. 

“That’ll keep ‘em busy for a while,” Lord said as he slunk into his throne across from where Grace sat in a regular chair. “Pretty good defense, right?”

“Yeah, they’re tough kids,” Grace said honestly. She was trying to think of how to ease into what she wanted to talk about. “You must’ve trained them well.”

“Oh of course! We’re not going to win by sitting around.” Lord leaned forward, fingers on his temples. “You had no idea how long it took them to form tight packs, it’s like herding cats.”

“Pfft!” Grace held back a laugh. The image of a very stern Lord trying to get these kids to do intense drills was very comical; even Grace had some difficulty getting them to focus back in the day. “Now you know how hard it is!”

“You’d think them being on a derby team would get them to focus!”

“Yeah, but it’s a sport, so they wanna have fun!” Grace offered. “They’re just teens. Remember when we messed around the rink making up new moves?”

“Oh, like the spinny whip?”

“That was a fun one.”

“Yeah, once you learn how to not get dizzy.” He laughed. “I think we made the other teams’ blockers nauseous looking at us.”

Grace felt comfortable enough to fully laugh. “Remember the time when-”

“Lord! Lord!” Screaming interrupted them as two younger skaters ran over. 

“Lindsay kicked me when I fell over!” Alexander Slam Bell, a blond boy with glasses, complained.

“Did not!” Lights Out Lindsay, a girl wearing sunglasses and a backwards cap, argued.

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“Enough,” Lord said sternly. “Do I need to call code red?”

Alex and Lindsay looked down at their skates, embarrassed. “No, Lord.”

“Then get back to practice,” he ordered.

Grace opened her mouth to speak to them, but the skaters quickly took off after a fleeting moment of eye contact. The comical image she had of Lord earlier withered away, reminding Grace part of why she came back.

“You think they’re gonna be okay?” she dared to ask.

“We’ve all learned to cope with these kind of things.” Lord fiddled with the buttons on his jacket. “Though we recently got new members, and they’ve have been helpful with keeping them on task.”

Grace shifted uncomfortably. The elephant in the room weighed between them. Normally she would shrug it off and change the topic, but she knew that she couldn’t do that anymore. It wouldn’t feel right to; that’s something she learned from her new friends.

“Listen, I know a lot happened between us.” Lord didn’t look up. Grace continued.

“I’ve been replaying what went down last year. There was a lot happening and…I didn’t want anything to change.” Lord looked up. “But some things need to change to get better, and I wanna make things better for everyone. And I thought I could start here with you.”

Lord straightened up in his seat. “I’ve been thinking some things need to change, too.” 

Grace looked at him hopefully. “Yeah?”

“The Apex needs people to look up to. That’s why it was started in the first place. And we need to set examples for them.”

“I totally agree.”

“Great!” Lord slapped both arms of his chair and stood up. “Then you won’t have a problem with going on probation.”

“I can’t wait to start over with-” The words finally sunk in, yanking Grace’s relief away from her. “Probation?”

“A period of time where I’ll see how serious you are about coming back. You’ll train with us obviously, testing your endurance, strength agility. We’ll also have some raids and other non-skating rites you’ll have to go through to get your wave back, though it’ll take a while for you to gain your green marks. I have to set an example to the Apex of what happens when you can’t keep up, after all.” He flashed the green x’s on his arm. “You won’t be able to skate in bouts for a while, obviously. Not until I can trust you again.”

The air felt like it was being sucked out of Grace’s lungs, leaving her gaping like a fish. “Wh-why did you think I came back in the first place?”

“Assuming you’re not lying, making things right between us.” Simon marked the chalkboard full of names, adding and removing x’s from different skaters’ names. “You need to prove your Apex again, and frankly I think I’m being more than generous.”

“So…you’re not going to apologize?”

“Me? Why would I apologize?” He said indignantly, breath staggering as if he was knocked off balance. “If anyone owes me an apology, it’s you.”

“Me? But I-” Grace scoffed and shook her head. “You nearly got me kicked out of school. You don’t think that was a little overboard?”

“Careful, Swan.” Lord glowered over her. “You’re on very thin ice right now. Especially after you lied to me about that null.”

“You mean the one that was eight years old?” 

“You never seemed to care how young they were before.”

Grace bit her lip. 

“Things are perfect here. We have respect and dominance over the derby community. No one wants to mess with the Apex. And you were ready to throw it away to cater to someone that couldn’t even take a hit?”

“Things aren’t perfect here!” Grace grunted and turned to the other Apex skaters. Among them was Disgrace Jones. She came to the Apex after starting to transition and looked up to Grace, even emulating her old style of off-shoulder shirts and anti-theft tag accessories. If anyone had a chance of listening, it was her. “Disgrace, can you come over here for a second?”

“Disgrace, don’t!” Lord barked. “Get back to drills.”

“It’s okay, it’s just me.”

Disgrace looked back and forth between the two of them, unsure of who to listen to. Eventually, she skated off the track towards the two of them.

“I just wanted to ask you something,” Grace said softly. “Is there anything the Apex can do to make it feel better for you?”

“That’s a leading question!” Lord argued.

“What? Are the skaters not allowed to talk about how they want their own team run?” Grace looked at the young skater once more. “I’m just curious what you think of the way things are done here.”

“Well, I do like the skating drills and scrimmages we do,” she said.

Lord straightened up smugly. “See? Our way has nothing wrong with-”

“But I do wish we could talk with other teams.”

A blond strand of hair fell out of place onto Lord’s shocked expression. 

“How do you mean?” Grace asked.

“Well, I like playing the games, but nobody seems happy when we win,” she admitted. “I mean the Apex is happy, but everyone looks mad at us all the time.”

“It’s because they respect us,” Lord countered.

“It’s not respect, it’s fear,” Grace said. “Every time we sabotage or bully another team, they’re scared of us and don’t even wanna play with us.”

“It’s the same thing.”

“Well, it shouldn’t be.” Grace turned back to Disgrace, smiling. “We could try talking with other teams. But we would have to make things right with them, first.”

“We are not going to do any such thing.” Lord stepped between the two of them. “How could you forget that you started your own derby team after getting kicked off other teams?”

Grace faltered. “I…” She turned her head away.

“You know, I almost didn’t have you do the jammer test. But then, I thought for a moment our time apart built character for you, but it seems you’ve gone soft,” Lord spat the words as if they were acid, looking away from her eyes. “You even got your wardrobe from Claire’s, it seems.”

Confused, Grace looked down and realizing she was still wearing the stupid flamingo shirt her teammates got her. She gasped, grabbing either lapel of her jacket to cross it over her chest and hide it.

This gave Lord a chuckle. “Did Hazel really skew your sense of self that much? Or were you always this weak?”

“Hazel didn’t make me weak!” Grace argued.

“Who’s Hazel?” Harshmallow asked, long ringed pony tail bobbing in the air. The Apex was now focused on the two of them now, waiting to see how things were going to end.

“Why don’t you tell us, Swan?” When Grace couldn’t muster an immediate answer, Lord faced the skaters. “See that, Apex? The void has lied her way to infect us with her ideas. She wants us to be weak for the other teams to overtake us.”

“That’s not true.”

“Oh yeah? What about the wobbly knees you got after that drill? I saw you wheezing.”

“I just needed a breath! If we keep going too hard, we’re gonna wear out!”

“Your lack of number speaks louder than words, void!”

Grace jerked. “Okay, what is a void?” she shouted.

Lord raised a fist in the air. “What is a void, Apex?”

The skaters raised their fists in the air, and began to chant in unison. “A leader who is no longer fit to lead. A danger to us all!”

“And how does the Apex deal with voids?”

The rink fell silent. Grace saw Lucy, Ava en Garde, and Toddless Behavior sharing worried glances with one another.

“We wheel them! Wheel them!” Lord cried out. “Wheel the void!”

Before Grace could process the horror of it, she was suddenly swarmed.

“Hey-listen-stop! It’s just me!” She protested as they tried grabbing her. “Let me go!”

“Hey Gracie!” The familiar shrill of Kez’s voice cut through the din. Grace cringed. The Apex skaters backed away.

“Are you sure it’s her? She’s not answering.” That voice was Min’s.

“It is, she’s with that Alucard looking guy.” Mikyala’s voice followed.

“Maybe she didn’t hear us.” A short cough, and Kez was at it again. “Yo Grace! Grace in the face! Grace the ace! Grace the…aroace? G-Squad!”

“Friends of yours?” The Lord of the Rink said smugly. 

“Nope.” Grace gritted her teeth at each butchering of her name. “Problem just a bunch of randos.”

“HEY, GIGI!”

Frustrated, Grace whirled around to face the Cranes. “What?!” She hissed.

“Hiiiiii,” Ryan said, drawing out his greeting like taffy as if he didn’t call her the worst nickname at the worst time. The team emerged from the shadows, blissfully unaware of the danger afoot.

“We were wondering where you were!” Kez greeted.

“Grace! You’re okay!” Mikayla ran over. “We were wondering where you went because you didn’t answer your phone, but we saw a folded up piece of paper with an address and some foot prints in the mud, so we followed it and-”

“Yeah! You, uh, solved the puzzle,” Grace interrupted, chuckling nervously as she pushed Mikayla’s hands back to refuse her hug. Mikayla gave her a puzzled look, the others raising their brows as well. Grace lowered her voice to a whisper. “Listen, I have to take care of a few things here, so why don’t you all go back to the free skate and I’ll catch up later, okay?”

Mikayla frowned, confused. The four of them suddenly became aware of the swathes of kids surrounding them.

“Uh, hello.” Min awkwardly waved. 

“Is any one of you…” Ryan pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket and squinted at it. “Alex?”

Alexander began to raise his hand, but Lord pushed it back down. “Are you looking your Atomic Swan?” he asked.

“Atomic Swan…?” Kez furrowed her brows before they shot up in recognition. “Wait a minute, you don’t mean the bully skater, do you?”

Grace flinched. Lord looked intrigued. “Bully skater?”

“Yeah, my coworker told me about her…” Min said cautiously.

Kez on the other hand, wasn’t so cautious. “Yeah, she apparently was the worst and would harass skaters and junk before vanishing off the face of the earth. Sounded like a real jerk, you know? I mean, naming your team ‘the apex’? A little on the nose.”

“So yeah, we don’t fuck with swans here.” Ryan slung an arm around Grace’s shoulder, making her wince. “We were just looking for our amazing captain, Stevie Phoenix!”

“Phoenix, eh?” Lord smirked at Grace, and the way his lip curled let her know he knew the Chronic Cranes weren’t on the same page as them. And he was going to abuse the hell out of that knowledge. “And what exactly is she the captain of?”

“Our roller derby team, the Chronic Cranes,” Mikayla said (un)helpfully. “Hey, you all look like skaters, too! Do you play?”

“Oh, we do more than play.” Lord skated towards one of the ramps. Following the curve, he went horizontal in the air before sliding back down and gracefully coming to a t-stop. “We win.”

Louis Loudmouth raised his fist. “Apex always wins!”

Lord smiled and raised his hand. “Down with the false conductor!”

“The true winners shall rise!” The skaters echoed.

The cranes seemed to catch up, all of them stiffening. 

“Wait, you’re the Apex?” Mikayla asked. 

“Oooh.” Kez put her hands on her hips. “Are you the Atomic Swan? Because I didn’t mean any disrespect because eyy rumors! And uh, I thought you were-”

“What? No!” Lord protested. He shook his head and resumed his proud stance. “My name is Lord of the Rink.”

Silence.

“The captain of the Apex?” He said as if it would ring a bell. 

Mikayla shook her head. “Mhm, sorry.”

“Doesn’t ring a bell,” Kez agreed.

“I’m new to this crowd,” Ryan said.

“I don’t even skate.” Min put up his hands defensively.

“Okay, we don’t know each other!” Grace tried pushing back. “I think the free skate is a lot better than here-”

“Now don’t be hasty,” Lord interrupted. “I wanna see if you’re all the real deal, or just some nulls aching for adrenaline.”

Min frowned. “I’m sorry, what did you just call us?”

Lord raised his fist again. “What is a null, Apex?”

“Nothing, not even a zero. A skater who can’t handle the dangers of roller derby,” the Apex choir echoed. 

“Now, hold on.” Ryan walked into Lord’s face. “Who do you think you are, judging and calling people names on their skating ability?”

“Yeah! We all started playing this semester, and we’re just as capable as any other skater.” Mikayla strided up next to Ryan confidently.

“Besides, how would you even judge who can and can’t handle it? That’s like, so arbitrary,” Kez argued.

“Not to mention non-skaters do just as much for derby as skaters do.” Min joined the wall.

Lord smirked. “Well see.” He blew into his whistle. “Apex, attack!”

Grace finally snapped out of her stupor. “No!”

Freddy Fracture hurtled towards her, likely to make up for Grace getting through his wall easily. Before making impact, Kez slid in front of Grace and tried grappling him at the waist.

“Don’t hurt him!” Grace yelled before she could hold her tongue.

“He was gonna hurt you!” Kez yelled back, straining against him before he pushed her on her butt.

“Hang on, maybe we can talk about this before playing-AH!” Mikayla got shoved down by Anne Tithesis and TNTina.

Cardinal Shins headed straight towards Ryan, red-dyed mohawk puffing with intensity.

“Wow, you look a lot like my ex-girlfriend-OW!” Ryan was cut off as he got knocked over.

“Hold on-I-don’t-SKATE!” Min flailed his arms as 4 kids grabbed his jacket and tossed him to the floor. “Grace, help!”

Grace rushed over to get the other skaters off of Min. Mid-stride, she made eye contact with Lucy. She was only 14, like a lot of the other kids that started. Kids that she had taken under her wing and taught the importance of power and belonging. 

Grace stumbled and slid onto her kneepads, unable to finish the blow and joining everyone panting on the floor. The Apex glowered around them in a circle, waiting for the next order.

“The Chronic Cranes? Is this a joke?!” Lord mocked. “You know, I’m not surprised you didn’t even clear tryouts.”

Grace’s blood went icy. “How did you-”

“You think the Apex doesn’t keep a pulse on the derby community? Especially when impostors make their way around?” Reaching into his pocket, Lord carelessly tossed a crumpled wad of paper. It unfurled revealing a familiar yellow sheet.

Grace’s first advertisement for the roller skating club.

“Our flyers?” Min looked down, then craned his neck up angrily. “You’ve been tracking us?”

“Thought I’d remove any unnecessarily competition since any team led by this void is bound to fail, wouldn’t want people wasting their time.” Lord paced. “But then I heard you managed not only to create a team, but get a near tie at tryouts? I thought ‘maybe this will be fun for the Apex.’ But now I’m thinking I’ll have to call code red.”

“Wait, did you make the Emerald Entrails drop their spot so we could play against you?” Mikayla said incredulously. 

“Man, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Ryan furrowed his brow. “I didn’t skate so I could be part of your sick power fantasy.”

“It’s not a fantasy, it’s a statement,” Lord proclaimed. “Roller derby was always a fast paced, cutthroat sport and doesn’t belong to those who spend it holding hands and braiding each other’s hair. Those people make it joke.”

“Well, laugh at this, BUDDY!” Suddenly, Kez jumped off the floor. Leaping into the air, she reached into her pocket and thrust something into Lord’s face. It went off in a cloud of-glitter?

When the sparkles subsided, Lord faced them again. Purple glitter smudged around his eyes, but not enough to hide the red Apex mark on his face. He slowly turned towards the center of the circle, opening his eyes into a terrifying scowl.

“Get glitter bombed,” Kez said smugly. “No one calls my friends names, right Stevie?”

Grace was trembling.

“Why did you do that?”

Kez frowned. “What?”

“Why did you do that, Kez?” Grace stood up, now yelling. “What made you think that was an even relatively good idea?”

“Hey, a lot just happened.” Mikayla stood up, trying to smile. “Maybe we just need to-”

“To what, Mikayla? We don’t all live in your fantasy comics where everyone magically gets along, so I’d suggest you join the real world like the rest of us.” She got a little meaner with her tone, making Mikayla shrink away.

“We were just trying to stand up for you!” Ryan defended. “What’s your problem?”

“Maybe my problem is I didn’t ask you to rescue me, Ryan! Not everyone wants you butting in,” Grace began to pace. “I asked you specifically to go back to the free skate, but could you listen to me? No! I mean, are you all stupid or something?”

A wind of gasps blew over the room. The Apex kids remained quiet, some of them covering their faces. Kez, Mikayla, Ryan, and Min looked at Grace with such horror, you’d think she was Medusa. Their faces were enough to make Grace feel like a monster.

Finally, Ryan’s face scrunched with contempt. “Fuck you.”

He then turned on his heel and stormed out. The other cranes watched him leave for a second. Sparing one more look at Grace, they filed out one by one until the last person clicked the door closed behind them.

Clap. Clap. Clap.

“See that, Apex?” Lord crooned as he watched Grace smugly. “Voids just can’t handle the pressure, especially when it comes to nulls.”

Grace turned to him in anger. “They weren’t doing anything wrong, why did you do that?”

“You’re lucky I didn’t wheel them. Frankly I’m a little hurt you replaced us with…” Lord paused to wipe a stripe of glitter off his eyebrow. “This.”

“You replaced us?” Rookie Monster yelled.

“Guys, no, come on, it’s me!” Grace pleaded, trying to find a sympathetic face. “Sage ‘n Fury? Remember when I taught you how to get your knee taps right?”

Sage rubbed the numbers on their arm, not wanting to lose them.

“Noah Fence? I found you that face guard!”

Noah scratched his newly grown facial hair, looking pensive.

“Apocalypso? Ava? Em?” Grace turned more and more frantically. Her eyes landed on one face hidden by an eyepatch. “Lucy?”

Lucy bowed her head.

“Nobody?” Grace threw her hands up. “So what now? Are you gonna wheel me so you can forget about me?”

“No,” Lord said simply.

He faced the rest of the team.

“If the void wants to flit around with her Chronic Cranes, let her,” Lord explained. “Why should I stop someone who wants to keep being weak?” 

Most of other skaters retreated as well back into the closed stores shrouded in shadow, leaving Grace more abandoned than safe.

“Don’t think of this as an act of mercy, by the way. You’re no threat with those nulls you call teammates. At least, if you could even call them that after you lied to them, too. You’d be lucky to get past the first round with them, if you can even reform your team. But all I know is that one way or another…” 

The Lord of the Rink slunk back in his throne, snapping at 4 Apex members to lift him back up. The throne began to retreat back up the escalator, shrouding Grace in his shadow. “I’m gonna be the one who watches you fail.”

His shadow felt cold on Grace. She shivered, realizing seconds later that wind gusted through the doors where the cranes had left.

Grace turned on her heel, chasing where her teammates had gone. Slamming the double doors open. Four figures marched away, shrouded by a December rainstorm.

“Hey! Hey, wait up!” Grace chased them, nearly slipping in the mud. “Can you all just hold on, please? I can explain!”

“Explain? Explain what, exactly?” Ryan laughed; a hollow, empty sound. He swung around, wet hair sticking to his face as he whirled angrily. “How you basically berated us in front of those assholes?”

Grace felt a punch in her gut. “I wasn’t trying to insult you, I just got overwhelmed.”

“Then why did you snap at me when I stopped those skaters from hurting you?” Kez asked, more confused than angry.

“They weren’t gonna hurt you, they’re not evil.”

“I don’t know, making up mean nicknames for people and then jumping them? Pretty evil,” Ryan said coldly. “And FYI, they did hurt us and you won’t even admit that! You’re being a bad captain.”

“Excuse me?” Grace creased her brow. “I’ve been the one teaching you guys from scratch, organizing the games, settling your arguments, and keeping us afloat. I’m only trying to do what’s best for the team, why can’t you trust me on that?”

“How can we trust you as a leader if you won’t even tell us what’s going on as a friend?” To Grace’s surprise, this complaint didn’t come from Kez or Min-Gi or even Ryan. It was Mikayla, wearing a cloudy expression with a chance of tears. 

“You always talk about how proud you were of us, but then you acted like you didn’t even know us back there before you insulted us. And now you’re trying to shrug it off like it’s no big deal!” Mikayla’s voice sounded more and more hurt as she continued speaking. “It’s like…it’s like you just keep us around to make you look good until we didn’t anymore.”

Ryan then fake gasped. “Oh, I know! You kept us around so you could show off to the big bad Apex how tough you are and win Lord of the Rats’ approval.”

Grace felt the most wounded by that comment. “Do you really think I’m that shallow?”

“What else am I supposed to think?” He rolled his eyes. “Maybe you quit cheer squad so you could dump your superiority complex on people you knew you could boss around since we knew less about skating than you.”

“That’s not why I left!”

“Then why?!”

“Grace got kicked out of cheer squad,” Min said quickly. It was the first time he spoke since inside the rink, darting his eyes nervously as his gelled hair fell in his face.

“Someone got Grace in trouble and she got removed from the team, she was probably just trying to stay out of trouble.”

“You said you wouldn’t tell,” Grace whispered.

Min balked. “Look, I’m sorry, but maybe you needed to-”

“You said you wouldn’t tell.” Grace gritted her teeth. “You promised me.”

“I know, but if you told us a little bit more about you, we could understand how to help you-”

“Min, that was about me! Quit making it all about you!”

Min’s calm exterior broke, and his face turned angry. “You know, I wouldn’t have to make things about me if you didn’t drag me and everyone else into your issues.”

“You mean the issues I told you to stay out of ten minutes ago?”

“We just wanted to help, but your pride and your ego were just too much to tell us who those skaters back there actually were. I help drive you around and get this team up and running, only for you to turn your backs on us!”

Grace stomped her foot. “You didn’t even want me starting this team!”

“What I didn’t want is for someone to get hurt! And now we’re all hurt, and you’re pretending we aren’t!” Min argued back. “I wouldn’t care if you did illegal mud-wrestling, so long as you had a bit of integrity about it.”

“Oh-ho-ho,” Grace chuckled angrily. Her mouth curled into a snarl. “You, of all people, are the last person that gets to lecture me about integrity, Min-Gi.” 

She marched towards him, making him back-step. “You sit around, acting like you’re too busy to be involved with anything because of your finance homework, but it’s not the homework that made you this way. You bitch about your job, your classes, and other people all the fucking time, but you never do anything to make anything better.” 

She geared up for a final scream. “I’m starting to think that the reason you wanted to be my student mentor is because you see me as some charity project to feel better about the fact that you don’t even know who you are!”

Her breath came heavy as she braced herself for another retort, nearly ready to pounce.

But instead, she was met with tears.

Min looked at Grace as if she burned his house down, eyes quickly becoming wet and crumpling into hurt. His breath began to quicken, clutching his jacket as if he got shot.

The anger fizzled away in that moment. Grace suddenly felt as if a bullet of her own got lodged in her chest. “Oh, no! Min, I’m-”

Before Grace could apologize, she heard a ripping noise. He tore the blue crane from his label, crushing it in his fist before throwing it in a puddle. Without another word, he stormed off, wiping his eyes as he trudged through the slippery grass.

Everyone stared at Min, and then their eyes returned to Grace. 

Kez turned her head back and forth between the two of them. With a harried sigh, she spared Grace an unreadable look as she chased after Min, calling his name as her crane fell off her hijab. 

Mikayla sadly looked at her crane, unpinning it carefully before dropping it on the wet earth. She slowly walked off into the darkness. 

Ryan angrily tore off his crane before ripping in it into pieces, grinding his foot into the paper scraps for good measure. He then turned around to leave as well.

“Wait, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to snap, just let me explain!” She grabbed for Ryan’s shoulder. “I didn’t have a choice!”

“Bullshit, Grace!” Ryan crowed as he slapped her arm away. “Everybody has a choice! People who say they don’t just pick the easy one!” For a moment, his gaze softened. “I thought we would’ve been the easy choice for you.” He shook his head. “But I guess I was wrong.”

Grace felt her throat tighten. “Ry, please-”

“Only my friends get to call me that.” He marched away, leaving Grace with a gaping hole in her chest.

“Ryan, Ryan wait!” Grace called. “Mikayla, Kez, Min-Gi!” Her voice was drowned out in the sounds of the storm. Rain whipped around the others until they vanished into the night. Grace was left alone, drenched and clenching her jacket around her tie dyed flamingo shirt.

A buzz from Grace’s pocket made her jump. Realizing it was her phone, she yanked it out, shielding it from water. 

Blake: where r u? everyone is gone

Of course it was Blake. Looking to where her former friends vanished, she began to type.

Grace: outside. can I have a ride home?

The walk back to the dorms was quiet. It took a while for the captain to stop crying, but eventually she slowed down to a sniffle. There were several animal habitats on the ground that she carefully stepped around.

“Finally, things are back to normal,” the second-in-command sneered behind her. She ignored him.

“Me and you, like it’s supposed to be.” She heard him kicking around, stomping on nests and sending little critters running. “No more Hazel holding us back.”

“Knock it off,” she murmured. “I’m not in the mood.”

“Really? Because I feel really good right now. For the first time in a long time, things are right in the world!” He put a hand on the captain’s shoulder, and she slapped it away.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” She snapped, now looking at him. “Hazel was our friend and you wrote her off like she was nothing.”

“I was your friend first!” The second-in-command roared.

“What is your problem?!”

“Well, I can tell you what your problem is.” He held up a small, pink notebook. The exact same one the captain used for taking notes and thoughts.

She patted her fanny pack, noticing it was slightly lighter. “Where did you get that?”

“I’m so excited to play the first game of the season,” he read from the journal aloud. “Mom and Dad would be pissed if they found out, but I don’t need them. They wanna ignore me, I’ll ignore them. One day I’ll get the Cruel Conductor’s approval, and then that’ll be a win.”

The captain ran to grab it away from him, but he pushed her back with one arm.

“We got new recruits today,” he continued. “I’m so glad to take them in, it feels good telling people they don’t need to be scared; the Apex sticks together!” He paused to scoff. “Glad I wasn’t the only one you lied to.”

She growled. “I wasn’t lying!”

“Tuba just got put in the hospital and Hazel is a mess. Apparently she has a skin condition, but I told her it was our secret so she wouldn’t be so worried about getting kicked out of the Apex.”

The captain balked. “That’s out of context-”

“It’s been a few weeks, I’m glad she hasn’t had a rash outbreak yet-”

“I was trying to figure stuff out-”

“Why is my best friend so awful to her-”

“You would’ve kicked her out and humiliated her!”

“ I’m gonna convince him to switch the younger kids to non-contact roller derby!” He held up the flyer for the junior league from a few weeks ago, glaring daggers as he waggled the receipt in her face.

“Look, I’m sorry!” The captain burst into tears. “Is that what you wanna hear? Will that word fix it? Do we get to parade around your worst memories next?”

“I didn’t want it to be like this.” The second-in-command snapped the journal shut. “I liked what we had, but you made me do it. You betrayed the Apex, and you betrayed me.” 

Pulling away, he threw the journal to the ground. Before walking away, he said, “You’d better not come back to the mall.” 

The captain stared at the journal, shaken and utterly alone .

Grace stared at the door for five minutes before she opened it. Last night was a disaster with her teammates getting mixed up with the Apex. She was trying to avoid speaking to them, give everyone time to breathe before hopefully patching things up with a better thought-out excuse. 

However, those plans fell through when she received a text from Blake that only said, ‘rink. ASAP.’ 

Inhaling deeply, she slowly opened the doors.

Blake, Kez, Mikayla, Ryan, and Min-Gi all stood in a semi-circle. Their arms were crossed as they faced the entrance. Grace dropped her head to avert her eyes from meeting their disappointed looks, only to be met with a more harrowing sight on the floor.

The box full of jerseys was reduced to a near pile of ash. The pink of the shirts were barely visible as they glimmered with charcoal, cut into pieces for good measure.

The burnt cardboard stained the rink floor, but it was nothing compared to the spray paint on the floor. A large ‘A’ with a squiggle in the middle dripped red, still fresh.

“You wanna explain this, Grace?” Blake asked tersely. 

Grace looked up. “What?”

“Team tells me some assholes on a team called the Apex knew where we practiced, and you visited them the other night.”

“And Jesse and Lake told me all about what the Apex did to them,” Mikayla said, brow furrowed. “They tried to run Lake over with their skates, and you went to their base.”

“You-you guys really thought I did this?”

“I don’t know, Grace. Why else would you flip out when we pushed back against them?” Ryan replied snydely. “Were you trying to join their team since we weren’t cool enough for you?”

“What? No! I was just-ugh, I don’t need this,” Grace began to march away.

“Grace, it’s okay if you’re scared.”

Grace turned around to see who said it. It was Kez, who had a look of understanding on her face. She didn’t even seem angry, walking towards instead of away from her.

“What-I’m not scared.” Grace clutched her arm defensively.

“Then why did you tell us to leave?” Kez was not unkind. “You never hesitated to stick with us before.”

“You did seem to want us to leave when we got on the base,” Min murmured. He wouldn’t look at her. “Were you scared of what that captain was gonna do?”

“No! He’s not like that.”

“He seemed pretty aggressive,” Kez said. “He got all those kids to swarm us.”

“They were just following orders-they’re not bad people.”

“Why,” Ryan groaned into his hands before throwing them up in the air. “Do you keep defending someone who doesn’t give a shit about you?!”

“Because he was my friend, Ryan!” She screamed, and she clamped her hand over her mouth as if it would take the words back.

The air changed in the rink, still charged but with surprise rather than ire. Stares of shock and pity from her friends were trained onto her. Icy beads of sweat ran down her neck. Peeling paint of the blue eyes on the rink murals loomed over Grace, the neon pink of the clouds roaring thunder in her ears. The weight of a thousand stares caused Grace’s knees to buckle.

“I-I mean…” It was too late to backtrack; all her friends locked eyes onto her, as if she told them the world was turned upside down. Finally, she sighed and fell forward on her knees, in front of the burnt uniforms.

“I didn’t want anyone to find out, but you all deserve to know the truth.” Her thumb rubbed the inside of her palm. “My first derby team…it was the Apex. And the Lord of the Rink? He was my best friend.”

Blake stood up. “What’s his name? His real name.” He searched Grace’s face to see if she was lying.

“Simon,” she exhaled, shaky. “His name is Simon.” The name felt foreign on her tongue, a language she was once fluent in now near-gibberish saying aloud. “He was my second in command, and I was the captain. I was the Atomic Swan.” More silence. “Swan Lake-”

“I got that,” Ryan said sharply. 

“Right, right.” Grace nodded, pressing her lips together. “Anyways, the two of us went to the same school as kids, so we formed the Apex. It was just our thing to look out for each other at first, but then we got more kids involved and it turned into a stupid power trip.” She swallowed as if it would reverse her dry throat. “We thought we were protecting each other, but we were the bullies.”

Kez toed the floor. “Did you even like skating?”

“Of course I did!” That bit came out a little too defensive, so Grace toned it back. “What I told you about finding out about derby, that was true. I’d lie about my age to join renegade leagues since I knew my parents would never let me join, but once the head of those leagues found out, I’d get booted. They told me it was because of liability, but I thought they were lying and it was because they didn’t like that I was a kid.

“It was around high school when Simon got scared of the Apex kids would lose respect for us, so I came up with the idea to take the Apex to the rink. A place we’d be respected and in charge” Thinking about the spark of excitement she felt at the time made her sick now. “We’d lie about our ages and play dirty, trying to hurt people we thought were weak, or a ‘null.’ If a league kicked us out, then we’d either skip to another one or sabotage another team so they would have to let us play tournaments.”

“What about Jesse and Lake?” Mikayla asked tentatively. “Why were they considered ‘nulls’?”

“Because Lake wasn’t going to fall in line, and Jesse wasn’t going to leave them,” Grace admitted. She couldn’t bear to look Mikayla in the eye. “There were the ones that would follow, and the ones that wouldn’t.” Her eyes felt bleary. “And then there was Hazel.

“She was this sweet little girl Simon and I met when our rink got shut down from a wildlife infestation. I convinced her we’d train her to join the team when she was old enough, but her foster parent had to join us. Simon and I wouldn’t let anyone older than us in since adults don’t like sports like derby. But she was…supportive. She even came up with a derby name for herself: the Mighty Tuba.” Grace chuckled at the memory. “She’d come practice with us, but then one day, Simon decided to get her out of the picture. He wheeled her.”

“Wheeled, like ran over with skates?” Ryan clarified, and Grace shamefully nodded. 

Kez grimaced. “Did she…die?”

“What? No! God, you’re morbid.” Grace pressed a palm into her forehead. “He broke her hand.”

“Oh my God,” Min muttered.

“Anyway, Tuba had to leave work because she was a band teacher, and she couldn’t teach if she couldn’t play. With no job and the injury being from a rough contact sport, child services took Hazel out of her custody, and they eventually found Hazel’s next of kin.” 

Grace swallowed. “And that’s when I found out that Hazel’s aunt and my derby inspiration, the Cruel Conductor, were the same person: Professor Amelia Hughes.”

Everyone gasped. Kez nearly fell over. “WHAT?”

“I know, I know. But when I told her she was my inspiration, she didn’t even care. She said we were playing the game all wrong, that derby wasn’t meant to be this big power hierarchy. The only reason she played rough was to get over her dead boyfriend. Last thing she said to me was that I should quit. It was like I didn’t even have my own name.” Grace held her head between her hands. 

“And of course on top of that, I found out that Hazel had eczema, which could make it painful to play, but I kept it between us because I had no idea what Simon would do. But one day, we had a practice and Hazel had a nasty flare-up, and when she needed me to speak up for her…I didn’t. I insulted her and tried to shrug it off so things would be normal again.” Pain bit where her nail beds sunk into her palms.

“Grace,” Ryan said softly.

“She made it very clear she didn’t want anything to do with me after that. But Simon found my diary and saw that I didn’t tell him about Hazel’s condition. He also saw my thoughts on convincing him to change the Apex into a non-contact junior league since we have mostly teens and Hazel wouldn’t get hurt. So, to get back at me for lying and considering ‘fake derby,’ he went to the school about one of our team’s raids on campus and got me on academic probation. So now I’m kicked off the cheer team, but even if I can get back on I can’t be captain anymore.” 

The room was quiet. Grace could still feel everyone’s eyes on her, only peeking through her hair for a few seconds at a time before bowing her head again.

“Last night was the last time I saw him in a year,” Grace quickly interjected. “I swear I didn’t tell him about the team, the tournament, or the rink we practiced at. I had no idea he knew anything about us.” 

“So, why did you go back?” Mikayla asked.

“Because…because you guys have lives outside the rink and they’re incredible. Like Mikayla, you’re so talented you could do anything you want in the creative world, and you’ll have no issue making connections because you’re friendly. Min, you’ve worked so hard to get your internship, which is gonna set you up for a great career. Kez, you’re becoming a psychologist because you wanna help people, and what’s not to admire about that? And Ryan…well you’re gonna play New York City and become a big star. But me?” Grace threw her hands up, sadly smiling. “I don’t really have anything outside of skating.”

“What?” Kez staggered. “But your future plans-”

“Are stupid. The dance field is so competitive that I’m not sure I’ll even get my foot in the door, and I’m scared my body’s gonna give out on me and I’ll have nothing. The Apex is proof that I shouldn’t be teaching kids, or really anybody. And the Chronic Cranes is a college team, so you guys are gonna graduate, and then I…I don’t even know.” Grace hugged her knees. 

“But we weren’t gonna leave you,” Mikayla said. “We’d still be friends.”

“But there’s always something above friends. Dating, marriage, starting a family…Simon and I never worried about that stuff because we always had each other. And seeing you all still have your friends from when you guys were kids, and being able to talk things out to stay friends, I thought, ‘why can’t that be me and Simon? Why can’t I have that?’” She curled in on herself. “I just wanted my friend back.”

Guilt crinkling in Min’s eyes. “I…I don’t know what to say.”

“I don’t think there’s anything to say,” Grace sighed. “I thought I could do this, the right way this time. But all I did was let you all down.” Her voice cracked. “Just like I let Hazel down.”

Grace stared at the ashen box. There was only one way to make this right.

“What I said about you guys wasn’t true. I think you’re all smart, amazing skaters, even if you don’t fit Apex standards. It’s me who’s the problem. This never would’ve happened if I didn’t go back.” It was incredible how the toxic thinking of Apex quickly seeped back into Grace’s brain the minute she stepped back into the mall, unable to rip off the remaining feathers of the Atomic Swan. 

She picked up the box. “So maybe it’s in everyone’s best interest that I’m not your captain anymore.”

Ryan uncrossed his arms. “What?”

“Blake, I’ll come back and get everything cleaned up. If you’re boss comes, tell them I’m to blame and I’ll fix it. I’ll pay you guys back for the shirts.” She was backing out towards the door, tears threatening to spill. She wasn’t gonna cry and make them pity her. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You guys deserve better. You don’t need me.” 

“Grace, wait!” Min rushed towards her, but her back was already turned, peeling out the door.

When the door was open, there was no sign of Grace, or relatively speaking, life. A harsh blizzard was starting to rage, blurring everything into a wall of white. The birds had already flown South for the winter, leaving a lonely paper crane drowning in a puddle.

Chapter Text

The captain had walked around to try and clear her head. The diary burned a hole in her fanny pack; she was half inclined to throw it away. Having your second-in-command and former best friend read all your private thoughts to you in a mocking way kind of soured things.

“Ahh!” THUNK!

Lost in her thoughts, the captain tripped on a tree root. She grumbled as she pushed herself up. It appeared that she had gone deeper into the forest on the edge of campus. The sun was getting low behind the trees.

“Dammit,” she grumbled, throwing a clump of sticks in frustration.

Then she heard a faint tweeting.

“Huh?” the captain shuffled closer to the noise. A bird’s nest was crumpled to the ground. When she peered inside, she gasped.

Two birds were flapping around, struggling to get off the ground. One was flying in circles, while the other kept falling on what looked like a broken leg.

“Oh no!” The captain reached out. The birds flinched against her. “Hey, it’s okay! I’m not gonna hurt you.”

Her heart ached and raced at the same time, trying to think of how to help the little creatures. She pulled out her phone, and sighed in relief that she at least had some service left. After a bit of searching, she clicked and dialed the number she found.

“Hello, Sunset Bird Rescue and Conservatory, how may I help you?”

“Hi, I’m in the woods and found these two injured birds, they can’t fly,” the captain explained. “They’re in this nest on the ground, but I don’t think it should be there.”

“Oh dear, do you see a mother?”

“No, they don’t look like babies either. They have feathers and stuff.”

“Okay, we can definitely book them for our veterinary services, they just need to be brought over.”

The captain put a worried hand in her hair. “Shit, I don’t have a car-”

“Hey, it’s okay! We’ll just get our van out to you, alright?”

“Okay,” the captain sighed in relief. “What’s your name?”

“Erris, I just need to know where you are. Can you tell me?”

“Yeah, one second.” Quickly, the captain tried to take stock of where she was in relation to campus.

And then it hit her. She could have walked away, but she didn’t. Instead, she was going through all this effort to save these two helpless animals.

She can’t remember the last time she and the second-in-command would do something like that.

Grace wasn’t depressed.

Depression wasn’t burying yourself in your studies, spending hours on end in the most private corners of the library. It wasn’t taking up extra shifts at work to triple check all the feeders were full, cages were clean, and birds were up to date on their medicines and treatment. Depression wouldn’t take hours at a time scrubbing floors and walls clean of graffiti anywhere she saw a red A symbol until her hands felt raw. And depression wasn’t trying to avoid staying in your quiet dorm with your thoughts, because depression sapped energy from you and kept you from getting things done since it was hard to get out of bed, right?

Sure, maybe Grace would triple check the library to make sure she didn’t bump into any familiar faces. And perhaps she skipped her economics classes under the guise of illness to avoid a certain someone. Or the fact that after finishing her homework, she stared at the wall for hours on end to prevent herself from getting anxiety spikes from looking at her phone. And maybe she’d spent a few nights crying herself to sleep while wearing her favorite t-shirt, terrified of sleeping because her nightmares returned.

There’s also the inconsequential fact that she no longer skated everywhere (or more accurately, anywhere), tossing her skate bag under the furthest corner of her bed.

But those are unrelated. Grace wasn’t depressed.

Right, Grace?

“Grace? Grace!”

“Huh, what?” Grace shook her head out of her daze.

“I was asking if you knew the answer to this question,” Blake asked quizzically over his notebooks.

“Oh! Right, I should have it right here.” Grace flipped through the pages of her worksheet until she found it. “There.”

Blake stared at her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, why would you ask?” she answered sharply.

“You’ve been zoning out the entire study session.”

“I’m just tired.”

“Uh huh.”

“You don’t believe me?”

“You don’t exactly have the best track record, Grace.”

Grace hunched her shoulders. Blake sighed. “Sorry, it’s just been three weeks, and you still seem raw about…everything. Everyone’s worried about you.”

She scoffed. “Yeah, right.”

“Would they be texting you if they weren’t?”

No answer.

“Look, maybe you should finish talking things out with them. I know you don’t think I get it, but-”

“Of course you don’t get it!” Grace exploded. “I finally found a group of friends that liked me for me, but when it came down to it, I let them down! You saw how they all looked at me. But you wouldn’t get how much it hurts, since you only wanna make friends with your rats!”

A pencil dropped with a thunderous boom. Blake stared at her, dumbfounded.

“Grace?” The sanctuary door pushed open, and out popped the head of Grace’s boss, Erris. A dark braid hung over her shoulder, and she looked at the two of them with her kind smile. “Is everything alright?”

“Oh! Yeah, sorry I just…” Grace looked around for an excuse. “Got startled. A bird almost pooped on me, heh.”

Erris chuckled. “Never gets old, does it.” The age lines around her eyes crinkled soon after. “Say, you haven’t skated to work in a bit, I was wondering if your leg had been hurting or anything?”

“Oh, no, I’m just taking a break from skating,” Grace lied. A cough came from the side, and she saw Blake duck his head into his fist.

“I get that. You know, I used to skate, but I had to put it on hold too when I was working for my old job,” she said fondly. “So if you wanna talk about it, you know where to find me. You always seemed so happy skating to work. I hope you can pick it up again when you feel comfortable.”

Grace grimaced. “Yeah, comfortable.”

“Anyways, sorry to interrupt. I’ll leave you two to work.” And with that, Erris closed the door, leaving Grace and Blake alone again.

“So what were you saying about my only friends being rats?” Blake asked sarcastically.

“That came out wrong, sorry.” Grace pressed her forehead into her palm. She knew she shouldn’t have yelled at Blake; he didn’t report her for the Apex’s sabotage of his rink, even after he got fired a little bit later. In some ways, it was easier talking to Blake because he didn’t seem to care as much. There were no personal stakes with him, no tall pedestal for her to crash down from.

“I get what you’re trying to say, but I went too far and keep making the same mistakes,” she sighed. “They deserve better, so I gotta let them go.”

Blake flapped his mouth open and closed to come up with a rebuttal, but he shook his head in a huff.

“Whatever, it’s your team,” he answered coolly, hopping off the table and walking out. “See you at finals.”

The way he said it stung, but Grace couldn’t find it in her to be mad about it. She leaned back against the table, watching all the birds flutter and chirp about. Normally it cheered her up, but seeing the especially social ones preen each other just got her more down.

Against her better judgment, Grace opened her phone. Several messages from Min-Gi, Mikayla, and Kez popped up (Ryan never sent messages since the incident). Her chest seized, and she quickly swiped them away.

Grace popped in her ear buds, cursing as she untangled them before plugging them into her phone. Clicking on the joint study playlist she never opened, she put it on shuffle and let it play.

‘Rock on, gold dust woman. Take your silver spoon, and dig your grave.’

Great, even Spotify was reminding her how much she screwed up. Unless it was subliminal messaging from her old friend, warning her of the folly of her hubris. She didn’t know if that was better or worse than apathetic coincidence.

“I thought I recognized you.”

Grace whipped around to the voice to find a girl looking at her. Two blue, braided pigtails laid across her shoulders, circular golden glasses framing her eyes.

“Clover Rover?”

“Nice to see you too, Stevie Phoenix,” Clover chuckled. It was unusual seeing her in regular attire; light gold frames replaced her sports goggles, and she wore an orange dress and forest green cardigan in lieu of her lime-colored skate uniform. A Polaroid camera hung around her neck, her fingernails tapping against the plastic.

“What brings you here?” Grace asked, quickly pausing the music on her phone and ripping out her ear buds. “Are you looking to adopt?”

“I’m actually here to take photos for my school’s photography club,” Clover explained, holding up the camera. “Say, do you have any red cardinals?”

“Uh, no, sorry.” Grace scratched the back of her neck. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, just for a friend. He really likes them and…” Her face fell, and then she shook it off to flash a strained smile. “Nevermind. Do you mind if I take some photos here?”

“Oh! Of course not, go ahead.” Grace held out an arm to give Clover free reign of the sanctuary. She photographed bird after bird, not saying anything. After about ten clicks of the camera, Grace couldn’t hold back her curiosity. “I heard you dropped out of the tournament. I’m sorry to hear.”

Clover shrugged. “It’s okay.”

“What happened? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Freezing for a moment, Clover then lowered her camera. “Well, our school has kinda been a mess. A few of our friends are trying to fight back against a donor from installing really bad policies. And one of them is…grieving at the same time. So we’re trying to be supportive.”

“Oh,” Grace said softly. “Well, I hope it works out.”

Clover smiled. “Thanks.” She continued snapping pictures, and Grace didn’t interrupt.

“If anyone tells you it was the Apex trashing our stuff, it’s not true,” Clover put plainly. “Well, I mean it was true that they did trash our stuff, but it’s not why we aren’t playing.”

Grace’s head jerked up. “What? You’re not freaked out by that?”

“I mean of course I’m a little freaked out, who wouldn’t be? But I won’t let them scare me out of doing something I love. Besides, I gotta be the reliable one,” she shrugged, forcing a grin. “I don’t want my friends to worry about me.”

“I’m sure they would’ve worried because they care.”

“Yeah, but sometimes it’s too much, you know? I don’t wanna be coddled.”

“Clover, from what I’ve seen, your players adore you.” Grace leaned against the table next to her. “When you played us, they didn’t get upset or angry with you when we were catching up on the scoreboard. They respect you as a leader, but also as a friend. You just gotta be honest with them. They won’t know how to…help if you…don’t tell them how.”

Grace faltered off, feeling a burning hole in her pocket where her phone was.

“That was…really thoughtful, Stevie,” Clover said thoughtfully. She dropped the forced smile. “Your team is really lucky to have you.”

Grace snorted to hide her flinch. “Oh, I don’t know if I’d say that.”

“I would. You all worked together so well, it’s like your guidance rubbed off on each other. You deserve to play the tournament.” Clover smiled, genuinely this time. “Seriously, thank you.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.” Grace coughed, keeping her guilt from hacking up. “I uh-gotta go get more feed from the back-”

“Oh, of course! I should probably get back to campus anyways.” Clover capped her camera lens. She winked at Grace. “Kick that Apex guy’s butt for us, okay?”

Grace chuckled, looking at her hands. “I’ll see you around.”

Clover waved. “I’ll see ya, Stevie.”

She walked away. The minute her hand was on the door handle, urgency bubbled in Grace’s throat.

“My name’s Grace, by the way,” she blurted. Her gaze made uneasy eye contact, hoping she didn’t do anything stupid.

Clover blinked, then smiled. “Willow.”

“Nice talking to you, Willow.”

“You too.” The door clicked shut, and Grace was alone again. She put her ear buds, but before she could restart the song, her finger hovered over the message app for several long seconds.

A pair of wings flapped against her ear as a pigeon fluttered towards the rafters. Grace ducked her head out of the way, startled. When she looked down again, she saw her messages where her thumb slipped. The top sender was Min, with a blurb “hey I know it’s been…”

Grace quickly turned off the app, dropping the phone as if it burnt her. She began to hyperventilate, but steadied her breathing as she stared at it, disappointed.

Dammit.

It was frustrating not being able to go to the rink to blow off steam. It was the captain’s one safe haven from all the bullshit everyday life brought. Nonetheless, she at least had another team she was in charge of.

She dropped her bag on the bench and lazily put her hair up in a ponytail. The locker room was oddly silent, despite the multitudes of girls also getting ready; at least a minor clamor of chatter would echo off the walls, but the void of sound unsettled her.

“What?” The captain turned around to find all the girls either flat out staring at her or making a show of avoiding her eyes. They all glanced at each other uncomfortably; it wasn’t like they were friends, but they were being weirder than usual.

That’s when she saw the coach walk in. She parted all the girls as if they were the red sea and stalked directly towards the captain.

“Excuse me, we need to talk for a moment,” the coach said lowly.

“Uh, yeah okay,” the captain answered, becoming increasingly uncomfortable. “What’s up?”

Whispers erupted behind them.

“Girls, enough!” The coach snapped. “Get out and start warming up.”

The other cheerleaders silently filtered out of the locker room, leaving the two of them alone. Once they got privacy, the coach pulled out an envelope.

“An anonymous source sent over photos that are of concern both to me and the academic committee.” One by one, the coach removed several printed photographs from the envelope.

They were various images of the Apex spraying their symbol on campus. The grainy quality made it clear it was printed from a cell phone, but it didn’t make them any less damning.

“Would you know anything about these?” The coach asked.

“Uh, no,” the captain swallowed.

“Interesting.” She looked down, disappointed as she showed the captain the last photo. “Then I guess you wouldn’t know anything about this.”

It was a clear picture of a person making a cheeky pose in front of the tag ‘nulls get wheeled.’ She was holding a spray paint can in front of the performing arts center, close to the office of a teacher she didn’t like. She was smiling and sticking out her tongue. Of course, that part could be seen with the mask dangling around her neck.

That way both of them could tell it was the captain’s face in that photo.

Blood drained from the captain’s face. She looked up at the coach, throat gone too dry to say anything.

The coach sighed. “You are going to have a big talk with the dean.”

The long wig itched the back of Grace’s neck. She kept brushing the bangs out of her eyes, but it still felt like bugs crawling on her skin. Her too-small pencil skirt and crimson blouse only heightened her discomfort, the tightness adding to the suffocating feeling in her chest.

She sighed as she fixed her makeup in the mirror, neatening her foundation. Concealer was her least favorite type of makeup, leaving a tacky feeling on her skin that seeped everywhere. However, it was needed to hide her eye bags and acne spots; scathing indications that she was human. It was as if an uncanny porcelain doll stared at her in the reflection: a horror movie mask.

The more she hated wearing masks, the less she knew how to take them off.

Three knocks on the door. “Grace, it’s us.” Sighing, Grace took one final look at herself before smoothing her shirt and answering the door.

A formally dressed couple stood at the entrance, stony faced. “Hi Mom, hi Dad.”

“Let’s get this done quickly,” her father answered. “We have important things to attend to tonight.”

Nice to see you too, Grace thought wryly to herself.

The ride over to the dean’s office was silent, as was any time Grace had to be in the presence of her parents. Over the years, she learned that whenever she tried to have anything beyond small talk with them, it had ended worse than if she had never said anything at all.

Apparently her mother tried to break the pattern. “You haven’t tried any of that skating again, have you?”

Grace felt her stomach clench. “No, Mom.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I said no, Mom!” Grace raised her voice slightly. The steely gaze of her mother immediately made her cower back into her seat. She wasn’t going to get off this easily. “I was going to, but I quit. I’m done with skating.”

“Good,” Her mother said simply, turning away to fix her stare on the wall. “I don’t want you getting involved in something that isn’t going to help with your future.” Here comes the skating-will-leave-you-with-no-money-and-broken-bones lecture.

“When I was younger, I used to be on the debate team.”

Grace perked up. This was new.

“I started in high school, and soon I became captain of the team. We traveled all over to compete with other schools. Our track record was so great, we eventually got to the regional debate championship.” Her mother looked up, a softer pride on her face different from her typical aloof air. A shadow of a smile appeared on her face. “I made some of my closest friends there.”

“That’s…pretty cool, actually,” Grace admitted quietly.

The smile quickly faded. “It couldn’t last forever, though. We ended up losing regionals, so I stepped down as captain and focused on getting into college. It’s where I met your father, and he had a leg in for me to get involved in the political world.”

“But, you could’ve continued debate in college. You never did it again?”

“Why would I?”

“Why would you? Mom, you loved it, you were good at it!” Grace exclaimed, then shrunk back down when she remembered who she was speaking with. “Why wouldn’t you?”

“Because none of it was going to help me in the long run. It had some applications, but so many of the fields I saw it in were so competitive. If I wasn’t the best, I was never going to make it. I needed professional connections, and all my debate teammates were a little too hippie-ish for me to be taken seriously.” She sighed. “They just held me back, they wouldn’t have understood. It’s why I’m so hard on you.”

“What?”

“I wanted to have fun and spend time with my friends when I was younger, not thinking much about my future. But then seeing how harsh the world was on me, I learned how to be serious. How to align myself with people that could push me ahead.” She looked at Grace, trying to smile but looking almost sad. “I didn’t want you to struggle like I did. But I’m glad you seem to have taken after me.”

Grace felt her insides shrink.

A soft creak alerted the family. The dean opened the door to his office and smiled politely. “Grace Monroe? Come on in.”

They all filed in, sitting at the long table. Grace fixed her eyes on the wood grain in front of her, visually tracing a knot to avoid looking at the dean. He rambled on about her slowly rising grades and community service, but it all rung hollow in her ears.

“Originally I had a decision made. That was, until I received a letter yesterday from Grace’s student mentor, Min-Gi Park.” Grace hunched her shoulders. “He could not make it here today due to a final exam, but we asked him for an assessment of Grace’s progress, and he left us with this.”

So this was it. Another friend was going to turn his back on her, putting her back at square one again. It was all her fault, though; she sealed her fate when she left that rink, ashen box in hand. She squeezed her eyes shut, preparing herself for the worst.

The dean cleared his throat and began to read: “When I first met Grace, I was not sure what to expect. Not knowing anything about her or her fields of study, I wondered if we would even work well together.”

Here it comes.

“But I found I was wrong. We made a great team.”

Grace jerked her head up, wondering if she heard correctly.

“Throughout my time of knowing Grace, I found she was a driven, intelligent, and persistent student. This could be seen not only by her grades and volunteering, but her leadership skills.”

She leaned over the table.

“When participating in student organizations, I found Grace intent on helping other students, even if they were different from her and she had to think outside the box to do so. A word of encouragement from her can motivate anyone to put their mind to something, her determination infectious in the best way possible. She pushes everyone around her to be better versions of themselves, including myself. For these reasons, I think she represents academic excellence the university strives for in their student body, and should be removed from academic probation as such.”

The light scrape of the paper being laid down nearly made Grace jump. The dean looked up at her, hands folded on the table. “Mr. Park is an esteemed student in the business school, according to his professors. I trust his word greatly. So the academic board has decided to remove you from probation. Your admittance to the university cheerleading team is up to the discretion of the coach, but other than that, you are in the clear.” He smiled and held out a hand. “Congratulations, Miss Monroe.”

Grace stared at his hand for a second before remembering she should shake it. “Oh, um, thank you.” Her parents shook his hand, and they silently left the room.

“Well, it’s a relief that mess is over,” Grace’s mother sighed.

“Yes, now we can head home and leave this behind us,” her father agreed. “You’ll feel so much better now that this is off your-”

THWACK! Her father stumbled suddenly as a young man ran straight into his chest, staggering backwards himself.

“AUGH! Sorry, I was just trying to-” the young man rambled before cutting himself off. He pushed his black bangs back to reveal none other than Min-Gi Park. “Grace! There you are, I hope I wasn’t too late for your meeting.”

“We just finished there,” her mother said curtly before Grace could answer. “And you are?”

“Oh! Min-Gi. Min-Gi Park, I’m Grace’s student advisor,” he held out a shaky hand.

“So we’ve heard,” Grace’s father said, and Min immediately faltered.

“Uh, can I talk to Grace for a minute?” he asked.

Grace froze. “Um-”

“Make it quick,” her mother interrupted. “We’ll be waiting for you in the car.” Her parents exited out the glass doors without another glance at the two of them. The one time her parents gave her space was the only time she wanted to take off.

“Hi.” Min coughed, “You look, um…”

“What?” Grace couldn’t help but be sharp. Her outfit was already making her feel awful; it was the last thing she wanted to focus on. “I look what, Min?”

“You look tired, Grace,” he settled on, as if lines weren’t starting to curve under his eyes as well. Her defensive stance faltered a little bit. “So, how did the meeting go?”

“I’m off probation,” she answered, not looking at him.

“Congrats.”

“Thanks.” The heaters of the building whirred between them, the short distance between them more akin to miles away. “What are you doing here, Min?”

“I wanted to see how you were doing,” Min answered, and Grace could tell he wasn’t lying, but wasn’t saying the full truth, either. “You haven’t been going to class or answering your phone and…I started to get worried.”

“You always worry,” Grace deflected.

“I’m serious,” he asserted. “You practically disappeared. Did you really think I wasn’t going to worry about you?”

“Why should you? I lied to you,” she said as she turned her head to the side. “I put everyone into this mess, so if I leave the equation, everything will be fixed, right?”

“That’s not true!”

“You didn’t even want me to do this club.”

“Why does it matter what I wanted? It was your team.”

“Because you were my friend, Min-Gi!” Grace stomped into his space. “You were my friend, and what you said mattered to me, okay? But I wasn’t what you wanted me to be, and that’s fine. But I don’t need you coming back to say ‘I told you so’.”

Min choked on air trying to form a sentence. “I-I wasn’t going to say that.”

“Then what were you going to say?” The two of them stared at each other, studying what the other was going to do next. Min kept sputtering silently, and Grace sighed and walked towards the door.

Min sucked in a breath. “Hazel is moving away.”

Grace’s hand hovered over the door handle. She turned around. “What?”

“Amelia got a new job out of state, Boston from what I’ve heard. Good research opportunity or whatever, and Hazel’s going with her.”

Grace cast her eyes down. “How’d you find out?”

“Amelia teaches robotics, which Tulip takes, and Tulip told Mikayla, and well…” he gestured in a circle. “Apparently the uni has good insurance too, so Hazel will get better treatment for, you know…”

“Eczema?”

“Yeah.” Min kicked the carpet, staring at his shoes.

Grace picked at the cuticles of her nails. “Are you gonna tell me to apologize?”

“No.”

She balked. “Are you…gonna tell me to find Amelia’s contact info?”

“No.”

Frustration bubbled in her chest. “Then what are you gonna say?”

“Nothing.” Grace’s head jerked upward to find Min boring his eyes into her. “You don’t like it when I tell you what to do, so I won’t. I just thought you deserved to know. That was all.” He shrugged, turning around to walk away.

“Wait.” He turned towards her again. “When is she leaving?”

“Tonight, probably after Amelia’s finals. I don’t know when, I just know they’re taking the train.” Min said. “That’s why I’ve been trying to get in touch with you.”

“Right,” Grace nodded, and Min turned away once to leave. She hesitated before calling back out. “Min?”

He looked over his shoulder. “Yeah?”

“Just uh,” she willed herself to look him in the eye. “Thank you.”

“Yeah,” Min said. He looked down for a beat, and gave a small smile. “I’m here if you wanna, you know, talk.”

“Okay. Bye,” Grace waved, and Min returned the gesture before walking out of sight. Staring at his figure disappearing into the building, she wallowed in the hall before the honk of a car horn snapped her back into reality. She turned to find her parents watching her sternly through the car windows. She trudged over to the car and entered the backseat, tuning out whatever conversation her parents were having. Clicking the door shut, Grace slumped against her seat, exhaling as if she dropped 100 pound weights.

Hazel was leaving. She wasn’t going to just be gone in a metaphorical sense; she was actually going to leave. Be out of Grace’s life, permanently.

And Grace was gonna go home about it.

The back of her head itched of an idea she was trying to suppress.

Go see her , the idea said.

What’s the point, she mentally argued back.

Making things right?

A simple 'I’m sorry' isn’t going to fix anything. She doesn’t want anything to do with me.

What about your other friends?

Didn’t you hear me? It’s too late with them, too.

Are you sure?

“Grace? Why are you bouncing your leg?”

Grace startled, looking towards her parents. Her leg was shaking on its own volition.

“Oh, uh, I don’t know.”

“Well, could you stop it? It makes people nervous,” her mother chided. She then turned back to her father and continued where they left off.

Sheepishly, Grace slowed her leg down. Maybe getting some sleep would help. Leaning against the window, Grace closed her eyes, hoping all the baggage of the last few weeks of the semester would melt away in her sleep.

It always started the same. The captain would run between rooms, flashing between different memories. Her first group ballet recital. Her fight with the other girls in her class. Her attempts to endear herself to her mother, only to be scolded and shunned.

They would keep morphing, from her first roller derby game to making friends (or recruits, more accurately) at private school to transforming their clique into a bully roller derby team. The memories of that flashed quicker and quicker until they blurred into frames of a fast-forwarding VHS tape. At this point, the captain stopped running and began to freefall, screaming all the way down.

As she hit the ground, a mopey voice echoed into her ears:

“I don't want to go with you.”

Gasping, she pushed herself up to see what was going on. Giant versions of herself, her second-in-command, and her protegee, Hazel, towered over her. It was the fateful memory in the car, except in a white void.

“Huh?” Memory captain still seemed confused, even though she’d seen it a million times over. “It's okay, we can work on the skin thing.”

This is when the curled up figure of Hazel split into three figures. They unfurled from their fetal positions, shooting firey glares at the smaller captain watching the memory. They began their damning remarks, one by one:

“What part of-"

“-I'm not going with you-”

“-Don't you understand?!”

“I'm not going with you!” They screamed in unison. The captain backed up in fear. Her back pushed into something soft. Turning around, a wall of large blue eyes stared her down. She tripped backwards, landing on hardwood.

Looking up, she was in the middle of a flat track. Jeering filled the rink from the audience. The faces of the audience were in shadow, some clearer than others. Along the jam line were Kez, Ryan, Mikayla, and Min-Gi. While their faces were dark, their body language seemed more tangibly furious. Blake was off to the side, wearing referee stripes with a whistle in his mouth. In the center of the track, the three Hazel apparitions towered over her.

Blake blew the whistle. The Chronic Cranes lunged forward. Each one of them knocked Grace around, hitting her like levers in a pinball machine. After each hit, she heard the Hazel’s chorus once more

“You tried to control me.” Smack!

“Just like you-” Bam!

“-Control The Apex!” Push!

“But I never meant to hurt you,” the captain caught her breath, trying to stay upright. Blake sharply blew the whistle, and Grace got knocked right in the shoulder.

The Hazels began to sob. “You took Tuba away from me!”

“No, it was Simon!” she pleaded. Another whistle blew.

The eyes of the crowd opened, their vibrant blue irises burning into her. This time, the mentioned second-in-command emerged from the crowd. He didn’t acknowledge the captain, his apparition simply hovered over her.

“He didn’t come up with the idea of wheeling on his own!” Hazel one pointed.

“It’s your fault she’s gone.” Hazel two glowered.

“You think you're strong,” Hazel three accused. “But you're scared.”

“A coward leading cowards!” The three of them yelled in unison as they marched towards the captain, backing her off the track.

“Hazel, please, I didn't know.”

“And worst of all?” Hazel pointed at her. “When you had the chance to make it right?”

A painful twist in the captain’s chest caused her to reel over. A projector emerged from her stomach, glaring over what was formerly the scoreboard.

It showed the image of Hazel breaking out in a rash, crying on the pavement. And then the captain’s flustered reaction.

“I-I can't believe it!”

“You protected yourself,” the Hazels said. “You tried to control me, and Simon instead of being honest.”

That was the part where she started crying.

“Oh, boo-hoo, she thinks we’ll feel sorry for her,” she heard Ryan’s voice off to the side.

“Crocodile tears much? She’s got a lot of nerve,” Kez agreed.

“I don’t think I can trust that she actually feels bad,” Mikayla whispered.

“I wish I never bumped into her,” Min said, and that got her crying the hardest.

And then the sequence changed.

Suddenly, the Atomic Swan version of the captain stood in front of her. “You're wrong, captain. Wrong about roller derby. The Cruel Conductor. Non-skaters. Everything.” While her face was stern, tears leaked down her cheeks. “And you know it.”

“It's true. I-I'm afraid,” the captain sniffled, the words painfully wrenching out of the chest. “Afraid of being wrong, of disappointing others, of not being enough. I did everything to avoid being alone...”

The captain looked down, seeing she was in the white void again. “And it's exactly how I ended up.” She sighed. “I'm so sorry, Hazel. You deserved better.”

Turning around, she saw Hazel in the car with her new guardian. Her skin was covered in the eczema scars, but she looked more calm.

“Good luck, Grace.”

And then the captain was violently thrust forward into the light.

A gasp erupted from Grace’s lungs when she awoke. Her breathing was heavy, but eventually it evened out.

Rubbing her sore temple, Grace blinked to look around. There was a smudge on the car window next to her, the outside now covered in inky night time.

“Could you go any faster?” Grace’s father asked irritably.

“I’m sorry sir,” the driver answered. “But the traffic gets bad this time of night.”

He huffed. “Let’s just hope we aren’t late for tonight.”

Grace stared at her parents, who hadn’t even noticed she stirred. They didn’t seem excited that she got off probation, or even bring up plans to spend time together over winter break. Hell, they didn’t even seem excited for whatever stupid gala or dinner or meeting they had tonight.

A buzz startled Grace. She looked down at her phone and unlocked it. It was just a school email, but when closing out, she mis-clicked and got into her phone gallery.

She hesitated upon seeing the camera roll, but then slowly scrolled through.

One after one, there were pictures of her and the Chronic Cranes. Of course some of them were just videos of different players to observe their form, but alot of them were just them goofing off. A group selfie of them at Dumpty’s after tryouts. Ryan flipping off the business building while Min laughed off to the side. The sing-a-long from the Halloween party. Mikayla proudly showing off the new stickers she added to her helmet. Everyone crawling along the skate park pavement at their first derby party. Kez pointing at a heron she saw because she said it was ‘close enough’ to a crane. Blake even made some cameos of him and Turnip watching the team in disapproval. The Grace in those photos looked unfamiliar, but warm, the bright smile a distant memory.

And then the photos shifted to the semester prior. The semester where she met Hazel.

They were all from before things went South, which made the prickles in Grace’s heart more severe. Hazel smiling after she got her first Apex mark. Simon tinkering with skates while Grace snuck bunny ears behind his head. Tuba trying to figure out how to stand in skate rentals. Her presence showed up in more and more photos, from the brief Team Rocket group costume they put together for the prior Halloween to Hazel hanging off her arms like monkey bars. Then came a photo of the four of them, standing proudly around Hazel as she held up a drawing of a girl on skates that says “I’m an Apex derby girl.”

And then it hit Grace.

What the hell am I doing?

“Let me out of the car.”

“Grace, please,” her father condescended. “You’re mother and I are speaking-”

“Let me out of the car,” Grace said, louder. “Please.”

“What? No, we’re almost home,” her mother argued.

“I need to go back to school, I’ll get a ride home. Either tonight or tomorrow morning.”

“You had your chance to do everything at school-”

“I’ve done literally everything you asked. I dressed the way you wanted me to, I didn’t say anything during the dean’s meeting, and look! I’m off probation!” Grace’s words were measured, even if they were angry. “Don’t you think this is the least you could do for your adult daughter?”

Her parents stared at her, mouths agape.

She sighed, unbuckling her seatbelt. “Why do I think you’re gonna listen?”

Hey!” Grace’s mom snapped. “What are you doing?”

Grace pried up the car lock.. “Something I should’ve done a long time ago.”

There was continued yelling, but Grace ignored it as she slammed the car door. She marched across the stopped traffic, not minding the horns blaring at her. Luckily there was a bus stop towards the direction back to school on the curb.

“Grace Monroe, you get back here!”

Grace firmly turned towards her mom. “Mom, if you could go and fix your biggest regret, wouldn’t you?”

Her mom looked at her like she grew a third head. “What are you talking about? I told you I don’t regret anything I’ve done.”

“You never said that, but honestly? I don’t believe you when you say that,” Grace shook her head. The bus began to pull to the curb out of the corner of her eye. “You made your choices, now I need to make mine.”

Her mother almost looked wounded. “Grace-”

“I’ll see you when I get home.”

And with that, Grace boarded the bus back towards school.

It was a godsend the traffic towards school was lighter than away from school, likely because of break. However, the bus still had to make each of its stops, canceling out any progress. Grace’s leg began to bounce rapidly again. If the STEM finals end around 6, then Amelia would need time to pack and get Hazel ready for the train. The inter-state train lines didn’t run super late, around 7:30 was the last departure. It was 6:47.

6:48.

6:49.

6:55 was when the bus stopped at the school. Grace gave the driver a hurried thank you as she stepped off. The winter made everything so damn dark it was hard to see she was. She began a brisk pace towards the street lights. The skirt and long coat hindered her movements.

After several minutes of walking, she saw a sign that said ‘train station this way.’ Grace smacked herself on the head. She got off a stop too early! Checking her phone, it was 7:15.

Not willing to wait for another bus, she began to run. Rain drops began to plop on her shoulders. The backs of her shoes chafed at her heels; if she had her skates, she wouldn’t be so slow. Still, she persisted, her steady jog devolving into a frantic run as she got closer to the station. Rain down-poured, icy cold piercing through her coat as her legs burned with effort.

Finally, she reached the station counter. “Hello,” she wheezed. “Do you know when the last train to Boston leaves?”

The clerk looked at the clock and jumped. “Oh, in just a few minutes!”

“What?! It’s only 7:20!”

“It came early tonight, because of the weather,” the clerk said apologetically. “We can still get you a ticket, if you like?”

Frazzled, Grace shook her head. “I’m supposed to meet someone there before they leave-do you have the track number?”

“Track 10, all the way at the end.”

“Thank you!” Grace spun on her heel and bolted down the train hall. She nearly slipped a few times between her wet shoes and the smooth concrete. God, why didn’t she have her skates? Why couldn’t she be faster? Heaving up the stairs, she made it to the top before her foot slipped.

SLAM! Grace face-planted right into the ground. Pain emitted from the bridge of her nose.

“Fuck,” she muttered, wiping her nose. Red smears of blood covered her hand as she brought her hand away.

“Train departing for Boston.” The train began to move.

“No!” Grace pushed herself up to her feet, running frantically to keep up with the train. “Hazel? Hazel!”

Her eyes scanned through the windows of the train, faces of passengers blurring together. She tried to spot the frizzy, leafy head or gap-toothed smile of her former friend, but nothing was showing.

“HAZEL!” Grace shouted at the top of her lungs. The train was nearly out of the station. Sweat and rain blurred her vision, so she could never say if the one clear face she saw turn on the train to look at her was who she’d come for.

“I’M SORRY!”

BLAREEEEEE!

The last train horn echoed through the station, and it was gone. Grace slid painfully on her knees, staring at the vacant tracks as rain thundered outside.

She blew it. The chance was right in her lap, and she was mere seconds too late. Even if Hazel never forgave her, Grace would have at least told her it was never her fault. That she would do anything to make things right. But that olive branch got crushed under the train wheels.

I’m not going with you!

Then again, what good would it have done? Hazel made it clear she never wanted to see Grace again. That she was done with whatever their relationship was.

But it wasn’t so clear with other people in Grace’s life.

In fact, she’d never allowed herself to actually find out.

Good luck, Grace.

Grace stumbled back on campus, unsure if the fog was in the air or on her mind. The rain faded into a drizzle and barely registered against her skin, shoes clunking against puddles in the concrete. It wasn’t like she needed to think; it was mere muscle memory getting her where she needed to go.

Past the glass door, up the creaky stairs, into the stained carpet hallway, she found the door with the single paper name tag on it.

She knocked three times.

The door opened, and there stood Min-Gi.

“Look, I told you, I’m not interested in-” Min’s grumble stopped mid-rant when he looked up at his visitor. He was in a pair of sweatpants and a band t-shirt, normally gelled bangs falling across his forehead and framing his shocked face. “Grace?”

“Min, I’m sorry for everything,” she immediately blurted. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what actually happened on my old team and I’m sorry I got mad at you for sticking up for me and I’m sorry I was mean to Kez on the first day of practice-”

“Whoa, easy-”

“And I’m sorry I interfered with you and Ryan and I’m sorry I got all up in your business with your friends and I’m sorry if I made you feel like you were only there to do me favors-”

“Grace, Grace!” Min held up his hands. “Slow down, what happened?”

Grace paused, feeling a lump well up in her throat. “I never asked you what you wanted from me.”

“What?” He stared at her.

“Hazel said she didn’t want anything to do with me, but I never found out if it was the same for you. I made your mind up for you and everyone else, and that’s not what a friend does.” Cracks began to seep into Grace’s voice, but she refused to shatter. She remembered clearly in her mind how when Hazel first left the rink, she bawled her eyes out and Simon didn’t do as much as blink.

And if Simon wouldn’t give her an ounce of compassion for feeling loss, a pinch in her gut told her Min-Gi would react similarly, given she had done something infinitely worse.

“I want to fix things in a way that helps you, so whatever you need, I’ll do it.” She swallowed. “Even if it means you want me to leave.”

Min sucked in his bottom lip. He didn’t say anything.

And then he wrapped his arms around her.

It wasn’t that Min hated hugging, but he was never one to initiate them. He held her steady, never faltering even against her wet clothes. “I never wanted you to leave, Grace.”

Tears leaked out of her eyes. “But I screwed everything up. With Hazel, and Simon, and the Apex, and now you and the others-”

“Shhh, come on, I’m not angry,” he whispered. “I’m over it.”

And that broke Grace then and there. A wet, ugly sob ripped out of her throat, and once it started it didn’t stop. She gripped onto Min-Gi, returning the hug tightly. The two of them stood silently in the hallway, drenched in apology.

It was improper to call herself the captain, since she wasn’t captain of anything anymore. The academic evaluation meeting just finished; luckily she wasn’t kicked out of school, but she lost her position on the cheerleading team, owed at least 30 hours of community service, and needed to meet with a student mentor weekly to make sure she was getting back on track. Her parents barely looked at her when they left, ignoring her profuse apologies as they entered the limo and drove away from the school building. She even wore a wig for the meeting, straight hair hiding her short locs. It curtained her tear streaked face as she hid in the bathroom. Normally she would go to the rink whenever she was in a sour mood, but she was now banished from her one safe haven by her own childhood friend. So here she was hiding in a dingy stall, all alone.

Well, maybe not quite alone. The door to the bathroom swung open, and she held a hand to her mouth to keep quiet. Sneakers squeaked against the linoleum floor, only slightly louder than their owner’s shaky breaths. Plastic clattered to the floor, and quiet curses spilled out as a hand reached to retrieve the plastic. A bang hit the stall door, and horror hit her as she realized she forgot the lock was broken.

“Ow! Stupid-” grumbled a voice as the door swung open. A tall guy rubbed his head, coiffed strands of black hair falling in his face. His polo shirt wrinkled under his windbreaker, a facade of neatness cracking. As he lifted his head, wet eyes met hers. They stared at one another.

And the two screamed at each other.

“What are you doing here!?” the ex-captain shouted and held a roll of toilet paper defensively.

His hands shot in the air as if he was at gunpoint. “What do you mean-it’s a gender neutral bathroom!” the guy argued as he straightened to his full height. “Why didn’t you lock the door?”

She dropped the roll. “Lock’s broken.”

He sighed, coming down from the scare. His shock and annoyance faded for a moment, eyes glinting in familiarity. “Wait, aren’t you the cheer captain?”

Just as her tears subsided, they deluged out again as she could barely contain her sobs. The guy’s eyes widened in panic, waving his hands frantically. “Hey, sh sh sh, don’t cry! I didn’t mean-I wasn’t trying to-what’s wrong?”

“What do you care?” she snapped defensively.

“You just seem upset, Jesus,” he huffed as he crossed his arms. “I just wanted to see if you need any help.”

“Well unless you can get me off academic probation, back on my teams, and my friends back, there’s not much you can do,” the ex-captain hugged her knees to her chest as she spat the words. “So go find some other gender neutral bathroom to cry in.”

“I…” the guy trailed off, unsure what to say. Shuffling his feet against the floor, he slowly moved towards the ex-captain. “I lost my best friend, too.” She looked up at him, not saying anything. He crouched down, sighing. “And I know how much it sucks.”

“What happened?” she asked.

“Got ditched. You?”

“Same.”

Silence.

“You said ‘teams,’ what other team were you on?” He asked tentatively.

She wiped her nose. “You know what roller derby is?”

He quirked an eyebrow. “Like roller skating?”

“Yeah, that.”

More silence.

“Do you wanna…get a coffee or something? It’s kinda grody in here,” the guy offered. “I don’t mean in a date way, just in a hanging out way. You’re not really my type-wait, shit, I don’t mean it like-”

“Thank god,” the ex-captain muttered to herself, and began to chuckle. Nervously, the guy joined in with her, and eventually it dissipated into tired laughs. A sigh and a pause, and the guy reached out a hand.

“I’m Min-Gi, by the way,” he said quietly.

She looked at his palm and shook it tentatively. “Grace.”

Grace wasn’t sure how long the two of them stood in the hallway. Under other circumstances she would be mortified to be crying so openly where anyone could see, but she was so wracked with emotions she couldn’t fit the space to feel ashamed of that too. A few babbles about Hazel escaped her throat, but she barely registered when Min hugged her a little tighter after she mentioned it.

Min eventually pulled back and commented on her being freezing. The crash of grief made everything a bit blurry, but they eventually agreed to go up to Grace’s room for her to get warmed up (Min offered his shower, but she still felt too raw to go into his room after not seeing him for so long). The blur of tears faded by the time Min sat on her bed, waving politely to Grace before she shut the bathroom door.

Time seemed to wash away under the shower head. Grace didn’t know how long she stood with her face pressed against the tiles, trying to feel grounded by the water pressure. The dorm showers were absolute shit, with the hot water only lasting ten minutes on a good day. It didn’t matter much, though; Grace barely noticed when the soothing burn of hot water faded into a lukewarm stream. It was only by looking at her wrinkled fingers that she realized she should come out.

After getting into her pajamas, she wiped the mirror down to take stock of her face. With the awful makeup removed, her face could finally breathe. However, the cut on her face created an angry, crimson crevice across the bridge of her nose. She shuffled through her drawers, and after struggling to find a plain band-aid, she settled for using a pink one to cover it for the time being. Once she was semi-presentable, Grace opened the bathroom door.

The room was far more presentable than it was before. The bed was now made with the comforter flipped to the opposite side. All her laundry was either folded in neat piles or placed into the hamper. The piles of books on her desk were shelved, scraps of paper disposed. Stray snack bags and fast food containers were collected in two knotted plastic grocery bags, waiting by the door to get picked up. It even looked dusted a little, with the furniture and floors looking much cleaner. Min sat with his hands folded in the desk chair, as patient as Grace’s skate bag that had been moved from the floor to hanging on the bed’s footboard. He looked at her clothes and opened his mouth to say something, but shook his head.

“I hope you don’t mind that I cleaned up a little,” Min said sheepishly. “Needed something to do.”

Another shaky breath hovered in the back of Grace’s throat. It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate the gesture; it was the newly cleaned room that made her realize how bad she had let things get.

“I don’t wanna be here right now,” she said.

“Okay,” he answered. “Are you alright coming back to my room?”

Grace nodded. Min stood and joined her as they left her dorm and made their way to his. 

“You can sit on the bed,” Min said as he unlocked the door. “I’m gonna make some tea.”

Grace sat down as he filled the electric kettle. Min’s roommate dropped out before the semester started, so a half-filled suitcase occupied the other bed. The textbook on the desk had several papers sticking out of it, closed for the semester. Pencil shavings were pooled around the legs of the desk, but the floor was otherwise clear. The makeshift ashtray next to the window had several used joints sticking out, the window open to let any remaining smoke waft out of the room.

To anyone else, it would look like a semi-neat room.

To Grace, it was a mess according to Min’s standards.

“Sorry,” Min said, hurried as he sat opposite of Grace on the bed. He clasped his hands together awkwardly. “The kettle usually takes a bit to warm up.”

Grace stared at Min like he was a complete stranger as he watched her expectantly. The gap between the two of them seemed farther, even after their earlier embrace. 

“Min, why aren’t you mad at me?”

His eyes widened. Quickly, his head jerked downwards. Scratching the back of his neck, he sighed, “I guess ‘cause I don’t really have a right to be.”

Grace only continued to stare at him, waiting for Min to elaborate.

“What you said, it really hurt, but you weren’t completely wrong. It’s not that I don’t know who I am, I just…try to ignore it I guess. ” Min brought his knees to his chest, crossing his ankles. Leaning back against the wall, he inhaled deeply as he looked at the ceiling. “Do you remember at the roller derby party, when I told you Ryan left me?”

Grace furrowed her brows. “Yeah, why?”

“Well, I didn’t give you the whole story. The truth is…” Min squeezed his eyes shut, bracing for impact. “I left him first.”

Grace jerked, legs flying. “What?! When?”

“Well, the first time was in high school. We were supposed to play Battle of the Bands, but when Ryan told me last minute we were leaving for the road to play music, I panicked. I ran right before we were supposed to go on stage, didn’t even say anything to him. So, he left for the road without saying goodbye.” His knuckles cracked from how tightly he clenched his fists. 

“And then it happened again, a few days before the art gallery incident. We were gonna play a song at this party with Kez’s friends, and I thought I was ready, but…I chickened out. Again.” A sharp gasp escaped his lips, as if it was physically painful to remember this. “I left my best friend all alone.”

Grace shifted on her knees. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Because I didn’t want you to think less of me?” Min shrugged. “When I met you, it was right after my break with Ryan started. I was so low, but you were nice to me.”

“I don’t remember being nice,” Grace scoffed. She picked at her cuticles. “I nearly threw a roll of toilet paper at you.”

“God, how could I forget that? ‘Go find another gender neutral bathroom to cry in,’” he mimicked, and the two of them began to laugh softly. “Well, after we left the bathroom, I didn’t wanna bring it up since we just met. And then the semester continued, and I wasn’t trying to distract you from school. Then summer rolled around, and I was talking to Ryan again, so I figured why bring it up if we’re not really fighting anymore?” He looked at her. “There was never a good time.”

“Okay, so you didn’t tell me,” she said slowly. “That still doesn’t make what I did okay, Min. I lied to you and everyone about who I was, and I couldn’t even stand up for you when you needed me. Not to mention what happened with Hazel, and Simon…”

“Stop that,” Min chided. “You didn’t make Simon do anything.”

“But the Apex was all my idea, and he just followed along. If I’d known sooner what derby is actually supposed to be, if I tried to tell him sooner-”

“That doesn’t give him a free pass to read your diary and humiliate you in front of your friends. He had no right to do that.” Min’s voice started to crack. “Just like I had no right to tell the team about you getting kicked out of cheer squad before you were ready.”

Grace looked up. Tears were welling in Min’s eyes. “I know you were just trying to help-”

“But I wasn’t! You said it yourself, and I didn’t listen. And earlier that night, I should have seen that something was off with you, but I was just so caught up in my own head I forgot to look out for you. I kept saying thank you, when what I really should have said was…” Min swallowed, and tears began to fall as he spoke. “I’m sorry.”

“Min…”

“That should’ve been the first thing I said to you when I saw you today. I’m sorry I didn’t listen. You’re not a charity project, and I shouldn’t have made you feel that way.”

Grace pressed a hand to her mouth. She was silent for a moment, not looking at him. “You’re a real pain in my ass, you know that?”

Min chuckled. “Yeah.”

“You really suck at talking about these things.”

“Yeah.”

“And when you said I had no integrity and ripped the crane off your jacket? It really fucking hurt my feelings.”

“…Yeah.”

“But the worst part?” Grace looked up at him again, fresh tears in her eyes. “I still missed you after all that. Even when I ignored your texts, I still missed you.”

Taking a breath, Min put a hand on Grace’s shoulder. He smiled, teary. “I missed you, too.”

They briefly stared at one another. Then Grace dove in for a hug. Min seemed to need it too, as he held firm. The two of them sniffled in gross, boogery harmony. 

“You’re not just someone I go to when I need something,” Grace murmured into his shoulder. 

“I know,” Min said softly. They paused.

“I finally listened to your playlist,” she said, weepy.

“Oh yeah?” He answered, just as emotional.

“Yeah. You won’t believe what song played first.”

“What?”

“Gold Dust Woman by Fleetwood Mac.”

Min scoffed. “You also won’t believe what song played first when I put it on shuffle.”

“What?”

“Cranes in the Sky by Solange.”

“Oh, shut up!” Grace laughed.

“It’s true!” Min half-laughed, half-sniffled.

Finally, Grace pulled back, wiping tears from her eyes. “You wanna watch trash TV for a while?”

Min grinned. “I’d love to.”

He opened his laptop, then stood up to pour the tea into two mugs. He sat back down, handing her the other mug as he looked up the videos. They normally would laugh and comment on all the stupid drama conspiring in these shows, but they opted for silence this time. Grace leaned her head on Min’s shoulder, and he wrapped a blanket around her in return.

“And that’s how you get the answer.” Min-Gi firmly put the pencil down following the equation.

“Okay, I think I got it!” Grace said, sticking her tongue out as she finished writing it out. “Can we take a break now?”

“Is that the only question you ask?”

“Come on, we’ve been at it foreverrrr!”

Min tapped his chin, then sighed. “Okay, sure.” He closed his notebook.

“I can’t believe winter break is almost here,” Grace said, stretching her arms above her head.

“You have any plans?”

“Probably do training. I need to sharpen up my skating at-” Grace stopped herself, remembering that she no longer had access to the mall rink anymore. Min raised his eyebrows at the sudden pause. “Well, I guess I’ll have to look around for spaces by me. What about you?”

“Probably not much,” Min shrugged. “My parents will probably wanna celebrate my birthday early, since it falls right when we come back.”

“You’re birthday’s soon?” Grace brightened. “We should totally celebrate when you get back! We’ll have to go partying.”

Min snorted. “Yeah, right.”

“Come on, it’ll be fun, we can get dressed up, you can probably drink in the states now-”

“I don’t think so-”

“I can show you a derby game and take you skating-”

“Nah.”

“Maybe even watch a concert-”

“I said no!” Min shouted sharply. Grace shrunk away, unaware that she struck a nerve. His furrowed brow loosened, and he rubbed his arm sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. I know I can be a bit harsh.”

“No, it’s fine! I guess I can be a bit pushy without realizing,” Grace admitted. Awkward silence wafted between them. It was times like this that she realized how different the two of them could be.

“I guess we don’t have to do nothing, either,” Min said. “We could just do something smaller in my room, if you want?”

Grace looked up. “You don’t mind?”

He shrugged. “Why should I? It’s not like I’m dying to study 24/7. God knows it’d be better than my first birthday at uni doing finance homework.”

A smile spread on Grace’s face. Maybe they had more in common than she thought. “Alright, but I want in on making the celebration playlist.” She pulled out her phone and began to play the Gorillaz song they both liked.

“Deal.”

One of Min and Grace’s guilty pleasures was watching reality TV show clips. It made Grace feel better about all the mess in her life and realize she wasn’t that messy, and also scratched her need for drama without getting involved. Min would always argue blindly at the screen, not realizing the participants couldn’t hear his advice. It made Grace laugh.

Yet, watching the clips now, they bled together. Eventually they seeped into Grace’s thoughts, blurring with her current anxieties and interpersonal conflicts.

Grace sighed. “Min?”

“Yeah?”

“How do I tell the others I’m sorry?”

Min blinked, surprised. “Well, I guess the same way you approached me. Maybe don’t go running in the rain before hand-”

“Stop! I wasn’t thinking straight.” Grace nudged him, covering her face as she laughed. She sobered up quickly. “I’m serious, though.”

Sighing, Min paused the video. “Well, maybe they won’t be as harsh as you think. You already apologized after the sabotage thing, after all.”

“That was a bad apology, and you know it,” she sighed, depressed. “I shouldn’t have ran off.” She thought about the venom they spat back and forth in the rain that night. “Mikayla doesn’t trust me, Ryan made it very clear he hates me, and I don’t even wanna think what Kez-”

“Kez never said a bad thing about you.”

Grace jerked her head back in surprise. “What?”

“She was never angry at you, just confused,” he explained. “She was the one that knew something was off when we found you at the mall.”

“How?”

“Because-”

A rapid knocking on Min’s door interrupted them.

He paused. “Because she-” More knocking. “She said that-”

“Yo, Min! You in there?” A loud and all too familiar voice said. Min and Grace locked eyes, the room becoming a little colder.

“I-they wanted me to tell them if you came back,” Min stumbled. “I swear, I didn’t say anything about-”

“It’s okay, they can come in,” Grace said.

Min paused. “Are you sure?”

“May as well.” Most of the shame had washed away from earlier; if Grace was going to talk with them, she may as well do it while it was fresh versus reopening an old wound.

Exhaling, Min closed his laptop and walked to the door. He opened it and muttered something Grace couldn’t make out.

In a single file line, Kez, Ryan, and Mikayla walked in somberly. All of them were wearing black clothes, disheveled as if they were getting ready for a last-minute funeral. The only pops of color in the ensemble was Kez’s gray toque, Ryan’s brown leather jacket, and Mikayla’s pink headband.

“Hi, Grace.” Kez smiled weakly. It was very jarring hearing her not use a silly nickname. The three of them stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.

“You can sit down if you want,” Grace said, trying not to sound too rough.

“Oh,” Mikayla said, embarrassed. “Didn’t wanna…” She didn’t finish her sentence, opting to sit at the edge of the bed while trying to fix the hem of her dress, more to fiddle with something than that she actually needed to. Ryan sat rigidly at the furthest corner of the bed, hands curled up in his lap very unlike his usual relaxed poses. Kez sat the closest to Grace between her and Mikayla, and Min half-sat-half-stood on the other side of Grace.

“Nice shirt,” Ryan said quietly after a silence.

Grace looked down, and realized under her cardigan she wore her favorite t-shirt: the pink tie-dyed shirt with the roller skating flamingo on it that said ‘just roll with it.’ The one she wore when she felt especially lonely. She wasn’t even thinking when she picked out her clothes; she just chose what felt the most comforting.

“What are you guys doing here this late?” Grace asked.

“We wanted to say we’re really sorry about Hazel,” Mikayla started.

“Don’t be,” Grace wiped her face. Her stomach twisted. “I did it to myself.”

Silence.

“We also wanted to apologize for what happened a few weeks ago,” Kez continued. “You know, at the skate night.”

Blinking, Grace huffed in confusion. “Why? I was the one that was a jerk.”

“Well, you were, and the things you said to us were really wrong,” Ryan started, but faltered when Min-Gi gave him a stern glare. “But…”

“You’re not the only one that’s made mistakes,” Kez added when Ryan didn’t complete his sentence. “Throwing glitter in Simon’s face probably escalated things.”

“We should’ve checked in on you more,” Min said quietly. “Instead of assuming you were fine. That you were always fine.”

Grace pursed her lips. Min made it clear he had forgiven her, but it was harder to read everyone else. The tension was thick and she didn’t know how to break it. So, she brought up the only thing she could think of.

“How’s skating been going?”

Everyone looked at each other, shocked that she asked. Some glances went over to Ryan, who tried to say ‘what’ with his brows before Min furrowed them and he shrank.

“Could be better,” he said.

Kez whispered, “Min, get the thing.”

Min widened his eyes. “Are you sure? Now?”

“If not now, when?”

Min looked at Ryan. Exhaling, Ryan nodded. Min ran over to his dresser, shuffling around for something.

“It’s been tricky,” Mikayla said. “But, we decided we’re gonna skate the tournament.”

Grace felt her stomach drop. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

She nodded slowly. “You guys are gonna do great out there.”

Kez cleared her throat. “Yeah, except there’s one problem.”

Only one? Grace thought about all the problems they would have trying to compete, most of them caused by her. “What’s that?” she croaked.

Min placed a thickly wrapped package in front of Grace. She looked up at him, then at everyone else, but they watched her expectantly. Sighing, she began to rip open the plastic. Once the last of the wrapping was ripped off, Grace nearly dropped the parcel.

It was a beautiful varsity jacket, dark pink with black sleeves. Large block letters spelled out “Chronic Cranes” on the back of the jacket, with the signature crane on a flaming wheel. This crane looked more ornate, though, different colored threads embellishing the design. When Grace flipped it over, she saw that the right side of the jacket had two words embroidered: Stevie Phoenix.

“We need a captain in order to compete,” Mikayla said, a smile twitching at her lips.

“This was your real captain’s gift,” Min explained. “The shirt was just a stand-in because I asked my mom to help with the embroidery, but it didn’t come in the same time as the uniforms.”

“You-want me back on the team?” Grace asked, awestruck.

“Uh, obviously,” Kez answered, frank as ever.

“But I let you guys down. I got selfish, I couldn’t stand up for you when you needed me.” Grace put the jacket to the side, feeling like she sullied it.

“You had no issue standing up to my so-called friends.” Grace’s jaw dropped. It felt like years ago since she encountered the guys that were heckling Kez; she was surprised Kez even remembered. Kez’s gaze burned right through Grace. “You told them to back off, even when no one else was around to see you do it. So, you can’t be that selfish.”

“It’s how Kez figured out something was wrong when we went to the mall,” Min said, finishing the tangent from their earlier conversation.

“And when she told us, she helped us realize we weren’t being good to you, either,” Mikayla admitted.

Grace blinked. Ryan shrugged. “She is a psych major.”

“I-I still don’t get it,” Grace huffed, a humorless laugh wheezing out. “I didn’t even give you guys a chance to respond after the sabotage, how could you forgive me so easily?”

“Not that easily,” Ryan muttered.

“Ryan,” Min said his name, though not unkindly. Ryan shrunk.

“Well…you weren’t always honest or nice, but I don’t think anyone else was either,” Mikayla shuffled her knees to her chest. “I don’t think it’s fair that you have to say all of your problems without any of us acknowledging ours.”

Everyone bowed their heads.

“Why don’t we go around in a circle and say something we never told each other?” Kez suggested in a way that made Grace remember she was studying to be a therapist. “That way we’re not singling one person out.”

Grace shrugged, tired. “If that’s what you guys want.”

“Great. I vote Min goes first!” Kez blurted.

“Wha-Kez!” Min shot her an incredulous glare.

“Come on, honesty is the best policy.” Her knowing eyebrows seemed to stop a retort from coming out of his mouth, twisting into a pout.

“Alright, fine, but you’re going next,” He wagged a finger at Kez, who only shrugged. Clenching his fists in his lap, he sucked in a breath before talking. “I never wanted to go to uni. There, I said it.”

“Really? But you’re always doing homework when we practice,” Mikayla pointed out, head cocked to the side.

“I was always pretending to do homework at practice,” Min corrected, gripping the sides of his hair. “I hate my classes, I hate my job, I hate my stupid racist boss and stupid asshole classmates that take advantage of me.”

“Then…why do you do it?” Kez asked. Grace had a feeling she knew the answer, but still leaned forward on the bed to hear it.

“Because…I’m scared,” he admitted, chest falling as he let out a slow exhale. “I’m scared that if I do what I want, it will fall through and I’ll have nothing left. It’s just exhausting faking it anymore.”

Ryan frowned, turning his head away.

“But,” he said quietly. His mouth softened into a smile. “Meeting all of you was the one good thing about my time here. I’d only do it again if it meant you’d all be my friends.”

The sun could have collided with the Earth before Grace expected Min to say something like that.

He nudged Kez in the shoulder. “You’re up.”

“Right.” Kez tapped her fingers on her thighs nervously. “So, no one’s ever really expected anything of me growing up. I was always the funny one, the one that didn’t know what she was doing, the irresponsible one. And that’s kinda why the whole…roommate thing happened. But being on this team really felt like the first time someone expected things out of me.”

Grace felt a lump form in her throat. “Kez, I’m sorry. I never meant to put all that pressure on you-”

“What? No! I mean, yeah, there was some pressure, but it was also nice. People saw me as more than an airhead for once,” Kez elaborated. “No one at home would trust me with important stuff. Especially at the hotel, they would just ask my other siblings or even Morgan to take care of it! And because my siblings left to do their own things and Morgan resented the work after a while, I always convinced myself that responsibility was a huge drag. But if being responsible meant people actually trust me…”

Cold fingers wrapped around the top of Grace’s knuckles. Kez looked at her with an earnest smile. “Then maybe it’s not the worst thing in the world.” Despite her cold hands, Grace felt warmth from her.

Kez coughed. “Ry-Guy, it’s you.”

“Alright, let’s see,” Ryan said, furrowing his brow before speaking. “I never actually went to school here.”

Everyone stared at him.

“Ryan, I know that, everyone knows that,” Min deflated irritably.

“What? No way!”

“I mean, you are dodgey when people ask what you study,” Grace realized aloud.

“And you are lowkey staying in my dorm without paying room and board,” Kez noted.

Ryan scoffed. “I mean, it could have been-”

“Ryan, you’re not being fair,” Mikayla scolded.

“But-” Another uncommon glare from her shut him up, and he sagged his shoulders. He pondered for a moment, eyes fixed to the bed.

“Fine,” he muttered. “I never actually had a show in New York.” He grimaced, throwing his hands up.

“What?” Min said, barely above a whisper. “But that means you-”

“Lied?” Ryan finished miserably. Min flinched. “Yeah. I lied to you, Min.” His voice cracked. “And then when I actually got offered a show there…I lost it.”

“When did you get offered a gig?” Grace asked.

“Outside this party at an art gallery. Some guy came up to me and asked if I wanted a solo gig. And even worse,” Ryan inhaled, tilting his head back. “I thought about taking it.”

“You don’t mean when I was trapped with all those art students, do you?” Min stared at him in disbelief.

“Yeah, when you were trapped. I got a gig and thought about taking it. I didn’t, but…I thought about it.” The remaining piece of Ryan and Min’s conflict clicked into place. “And then when I took too long to answer, he said to forget it. He knew I was garbage.” Ryan ashamedly glanced at Min-Gi. “And now, so do you.”

Min looked down, unsure what to say. Before he could reach out, Ryan took a blanket and pulled it over his head. Grace looked at Kez for any kind of clue, but she seemed just as helpless.

“Okay, I guess it’s my turn,” Mikayla mumbled as she shuffled to sit cross-legged. It was clear didn’t wanna steamroll Ryan, but he seemed to shut out any further conversation around his confession. She took a breath. “I didn’t know anything about skating when I joined. I just wanted to make more friends in case anything happened between me and my friends.”

“What do you mean, if anything happened?” Grace inquired. “Your friends aren’t going anywhere.”

“I mean, I guess. But I know them all through Tulip, and I get nervous of what would happen if anything goes wrong between me and her.” She picked at the edges of her skirt.

“Is it because she’s ignoring you?” Kez asked.

“No, that’s not it,” Mikayla disputed.

“Is she being mean to you?” Ryan asked, muffled from under the blanket.

“No! No, not like that.”

“Then why would anything change between you two?” Min nudged.

“Because…because…” Mikayla held her breath and then covered her eyes as she groaned loudly. “Because I have a crush on her!”

“WHAT?” Everyone shouted in unison. The bed shook with jostling, Grace and Ryan’s blankets flying off of them. (Grace secretly had a feeling about it, but it was still startling to hear admitted aloud nonetheless).

“I liked her when we were in school together, and I thought it would go away when I moved.” The heels of her palms pressed into her eyes. “But ever since she came here and became my roommate, it’s gotten worse! I joined roller derby partially to impress her, and partially because I was scared of being alone.”

“Ohhh,” Kez said in realization. “Is that why you have that fear of throwing up when you kiss someone? Because I know that onion breath is rank.”

“Kez!” Min, and Ryan snapped in unison.

“Yeesh, don’t blame a girl for asking.” Kez held up her hands in surrender.

Grace laughed the first time for the whole entire conversation. She laughed until there were tears in her eyes, buckling over on the bed and wiping her eyes.

“Thank you, Kez,” Grace said quietly, patting Kez on the shoulder. Suddenly, she shrunk back. “I-I’m sorry-I didn’t mean to assume-”

“Shh-sh sh sh sh!” Kez shushed her, putting a finger on top of Grace’s lips. Once Grace was thoroughly perplexed, Kez wrapped her arms around Grace in a hug. “You assumed right.”

Grace’s breath shuddered. “Okay, we all have our skeletons in closets, but I still don’t get it. Why do you want me to be captain again when we’re going into a tournament against my old team? Especially since I caved when I saw them again?”

“Ugh, you’re not getting it!” Kez put a hand to her forehead. “Have you screwed up? Yeah? We’re the mistakes really, really bad? Absolutely. Could they have endangered us? Very likely so.”

“Kez,” Min said in a warning tone.

“But the point is, you learned from them,” Mikayla helped out. “You saw all of us, who had no idea what roller derby even was, and you stayed with us the whole time. If you were pushy, you backed off. If we didn’t get it, you helped us learn how. If one of us got hurt or upset, you rallied everyone together to make them feel safe.”

“Yeah, honestly if that Apex run-in didn’t happen, I’d say the worst thing you’ve ever done was making us do burpees after sprinting across the rink,” Kez agreed.

Grace chuckled. “I’ve been feeling so weak these days, I’m not even sure if I could do them as intensely anymore.”

“Then we’ll play to your level. The last thing we want you to do is get hurt.” Mikayla leaned over. “We all talked about it, and we trust you.”

Grace got quiet, frowning. The affection was almost too much. “You guys don’t have to do this for me, you know. It’s not gonna be easy.”

Everyone else followed suit. Kez shifted her eyes uncomfortably. Ryan stared down at his hands. Mikayla kept opening and closing her mouth, guessing at what to say. And Min-well, Min reached over his desk to grab something.

And then, he began to play on his mini synth.

It was a repetitive tune, nothing Grace recognized. The melody was interrupted with the occasional ad-lib, but the stylus tapped on the keys definitively.

“What are you doing, Min?” Ryan asked.

“Practicing,” Min said without looking up.

“For what?”

The last few notes teetered off. “Well, you’ve been keeping in practice so, I’m behind.” He looked up at Ryan with a soft smile. “I don’t want you to outshine me when we get to New York.”

Ryan sputtered. The other three girls watched as his eyes glistened, more sentimental than Grace had seen him before. “You-still wanna play with me? After almost leaving you?”

“You didn’t leave me, you had a bad thought,” he said, shrugging as he put his synth down. “I have those all the time. I don’t know if we’ll sell a single album, but we’ll figure it out as we go.”

Suddenly, his face darkened. “But what I do know, is that I hate finance.” He grabbed his keys to the diner off his desk. “I hate fairy tale themed restaurants.” He jumped off the bed. “And I hate Horace!”

With the windup of a baseball pitcher, Min threw his keys out the window. A second later, a loud crash followed by the blaring of a car alarm rung in from the outside.

Ryan gasped, a wet laugh escaping him. “Min!”

“You stuck with me, so now you’re stuck with me,” Min said confidently, only wincing slightly as the car alarm kept interrupting his speech. “Someone once told me that sometimes the risk is worth being happy, and I think this is the risk for me.”

He turned directly towards Grace.

“What-what does this have to do with me?” Grace asked, shifting uncomfortably.

“I think-what he’s-getting at-” Mikayla kept starting and stopping. “Dammit, can someone take care of their stupid car alarm?!”

Grace laughed. “Mikayla!” She began to giggle until tears formed in her eyes. She had never heard the girl curse before, so no matter how minor the bad word, it was humorous.

Kez walked to the window. “Pipe down! Some of us are trying to have emotional revelations!” Ryan finally got up to drag Kez away from the window, trying to shush her between giggles. Min opted to shut the window, and the sound was more muted until it turned off after a few seconds.

“You’re all insane,” Grace muttered, not unkindly. A smile was on her face.

“Well, maybe we need to be more insane. If it means we can be happy,” Min said boldly. He reached a hand out to Ryan. Ryan took it and they did a solid handshake, only for Min to pull Ryan forward into a hug. A grunt of surprise came from Ryan, but he held on tightly.

“Yeah,” Mikayla agreed. “Yeah! Like maybe I don’t need someone else’s validation to do what I want! Even if things don’t work out with Tulip, I still have all of you guys that made me feel apart of something. From now on, I’m gonna skate because I want to! And I’ll send everyone who gives me issues to their…their Sailor Doom!” Everyone started cheering at that.

“Yeah! And I’ll…well…” Kez put a finger on her chin. “Well, I might actually need to be more normal.”

“Don’t,” Grace shook her head.

“Don’t?”

“You can do all your homework, have the best selling hotel, be an award winning psychologist,” she continued. “But for the love of god, don’t ever be normal. It’s why I’m your friend.”

Kez blinked at her in surprise. She smiled. “That’s why I like being your friend.” Suddenly, she furrowed her brow. “Wait, Min what was your point again? Grace is dodging the question.”

Grace tried to shove Kez, but apparently those positional blocking lessons were working a bit too well.

“Right, sorry,” he said sheepishly. “The point is, we never needed to do play roller derby! Nobody ever needed to slam into each other on skates for any reason, other than they wanted to. Just like I don’t have to play music. Just like we didn’t need to reach out to you after our fight,” Min argued. He put his arm around Ryan proudly.

“But I’m playing my synth with my best friend because I want to. Ryan, Kez, and Mikayla are skating in the tournament because they want to. We gave you this jacket and are asking you to come back because we want to. We want you in our lives, Grace, even if the Chronic Cranes won’t last forever.”

Grace gasped. No caveats for their friendship, just pure, platonic unconditional love. “I-I’m not sure what to say. This is all so nice, but I feel like I’m caught between so many things, I just feel stuck.”

Min walked over to her and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. “What do you want to do? And I’m not talking about the daughter of the Monroes, or the leader of the cheer squad, or the Atomic Swan, or even Stevie Phoenix. What does Grace want?”

Grace bit her lip. “I think…” All masks were removed, and she finally had to look at what was underneath. “I think she wants to skate with her friends and have fun. But…” The image of the train rolling away flashed in her mind. “She also doesn’t want to forget any of the bad stuff. The Apex kids won’t; it’s all they’ve known. And when those kids grow up, they’re gonna tell new kids and it’ll keep repeating. I don’t want anyone else to get hurt by something I started, but don’t know how to end it. They won’t listen to me.”

Everyone nodded. The room got quiet again, gears turning in their minds.

“Fleetwood Mac had the some of the messiest inter-band conflict in music,” Ryan finally spoke. That was when Grace realized he had been quiet almost the whole time. “Everyone was cheating on each other, lots of scandals. The most talked-about relationship was probably between Stevie Nicks and Lindsay Buckingham, the guitarist-”

Grace sighed. “Look I don’t see how a music history lesson is gonna help-”

“Just let me finish, okay?” Ryan hissed lightly. “Anyways, they were disagreeing about creative stuff on their most recent reunion tour, and it came to a head between Stevie and Lindsay. Stevie eventually said to the other band mates, ‘it’s either me, or him.’ And you know what happened?”

Grace shrugged. “They went 50/50?”

“No, everyone went with Stevie and Lindsay got kicked out of the band,” Ryan explained as if it was obvious.

“Isn’t that what happened with me and the Apex?”

He faltered, clearly not where he was going with his metaphor. “Maybe, but it sounds like that-” Ryan held his tongue, watching as Kez gave him a warning glare. He exhaled. “Guy…twisted what actually happened. Those kids do deserve to know what derby’s actually about, what you’re actually about.” He paused. “And you deserve to enjoy that kind of derby too.”

Grace looked at him. His eyes locked onto hers, more fiery now than ever.

“So, what’s next? You gonna keep running?” Ryan asked firmly. “Or are you gonna rise from the ashes, Phoenix?

Grace stood from the bed, looking at the jacket in her hands.  “If I can’t skate against Simon, would you still be saying all this?”

“You’re not the only one he hurt,” Ryan shrugged. “Even if you can’t skate, I still wanna kick his ass. For all of us.”

“We’re playing the game for ourselves,” Mikayla asserted. “But if it’s too much going against him, we still want you back. We just figured if anyone deserved closure, it’s you.”

Grace turned around, facing away from her teammates. “We’re gonna have to practice a lot more.”

“I can make time,” Kez said promptly.

“And we’ll need new uniforms.”

“Already thinking about it,” Mikayla answered.

“And before you say anything, I have a few ideas for how to get funds,” Min interjected.

“It won’t be easy.”

“Well,” Ryan said slyly. “If it was easy, anyone could do it.”

Grace inhaled. She pulled the jacket over her shoulders; it felt warm, like a thousand hugs from the people she loved. What fire she thought had burnt out in her started to rekindle again. Motivation overwhelmed her, but not the kind she felt as the Atomic Swan, where she made sure she got the outcome she wanted no matter what. This was ‘I’m doing this, for better or for worse.’

“Well, then.” Rising to her full height, the captain looked over her shoulder and faced her teammates, finally looking away from her past and towards something she wanted. “I guess we have some work to do.”

Chapter Text

Sentimentality fueled the rest of the night. Many hugs, tears, laughter and stories were swapped between the whole team. It kept getting later and later, Grace’s eyes getting droopier as the minutes oozed by. She was tired, but it was a different kind of tired; the type of relief you feel when you finish a 2 minute jam. The paranoia from the past few weeks slipped away, and Grace let herself close her eyes.

The teammates looked at her. “How can she sleep sitting up like that?”

“Who knows.” A blanket was draped over Grace’s shoulders. “She earned the rest.”

Silence. 

“I could punch that guy.”

“Don’t.”

“Why not? He’s trying to ruin her life, why not give him a taste of his own medicine?” Footsteps stomped towards the door.

“Because if we do, he’ll just take it out on her.” A hand on the wrist paused the padding on the floor. “If we’re doing this for Grace, we have to do it for her, not to spite him. She doesn’t need a white knight, she just needs her friends.”

“She’s right,” someone else said. “As much as I’m upset about what happened, I think insulting someone she’s still not over is just gonna push her away.”

A loud sigh entered the room. “Alright.”

The bouncing of the mattress caught everyone’s attention. Grace snored peacefully, now toppled over horizontally. A few sets of hands rearranged the blanket so she was more tucked in.

“Hope that’s better.”

“Least we could do.”

“What else should we do?”

“I’d say follow her lead, but…she’s got so much going on. I think we have to pick up the slack.”

Four heads nodded in agreement.

“Alright. After finals we’ll make a plan.”

Hands shuffled so everyone was hugging each other.

“Say…what do y’all have planned for the holidays?”

“Grace, come here!”

Grace rolled her eyes and dragged her feet over. This summarized her whole winter break thus far: stretches of solitude interrupted by her parents assigning her mediocre tasks. While at Christmas she was able to get away with texting her friends, New Year’s Eve brought her the unpleasant job of hostess-in-training. This made Grace especially cranky, considering it foiled her plans; she was excited for the video call between all her friends as it got closer to midnight until the last minute chore came up. The team made it clear it was no big deal, but it didn’t stop her guilt.

And now she was going to have to greet another stranger, wearing clothes she hated while surrounded by food she either couldn’t eat out of ‘politeness’ or didn’t fill her up.

“Yeah?” Grace huffed as she approached her mother. 

“We seem to be having issues in the kitchen,” she replied flatly. “According to one of our chefs, you told them to approach you if they had any questions with this dish.” 

Grace raised an eyebrow. “Really? I don’t-GHK!” She nearly choked. 

Behind her mother, holding a tray of appetizers, was Kez. Her short stature was accentuated by baggy white clothes and an oversized chef’s hat that drooped over her eyes.

“Bon-George!” Kez greeted in a half-hearted attempt to disguise her voice. 

“Grace,” her mom said tersely. “This is Lorraine, one of our chefs for tonight.”

“Kiss me, I’m a chef’s a hat!” Kez said in an obviously-forced deep voice. 

Grace’s mind raced to think of an explanation, but luckily her mother whispered in her ear. Her voice was weary when she asked, “Please, deal with her.”

“Okay,” Grace agreed quickly. She promptly grabbed Kez by her sleeve to drag both of them out of the room. 

“I’ll get those mini quiches out, oi oi!” Kez called back.

Once they got into the hallway, Grace dropped her hostess mask. “What is going on?”

“Okay, this might be a lot, so try not to be surprised.” Kez put her hands out, and then swiftly ripped off her chef’s hat. “Tada!”

Grace balked. “What?!”

“Oh, right, sorry.” Shuffling through her back pocket, Kez pulled out her beanie and put it on top of her hijab, plain in black for a change. “Tada!”

“What-I-” Grace grunted, rubbing her face. “I know it’s you, Kez!”

“Oh,” Kez said. “Then why are you confused?”

“Because I don’t know what you’re doing here! Or how you even got in here.”

“Oh! Well, getting in wasn’t that hard.” Kez waved off. “But tonight, I’m here to rescue you to celebrate New Year’s!”

Grace raised an eyebrow. “Rescue me?”

“Yeah! From your parents and their dull party?”

Grace shifted uncomfortably. “Look, normally I would, but I think I’m on thin ice with them right now.”

“We don’t even have to leave the house if they’re that specific about you staying, I know you have a roof patio we can escape to. That’s how I got in.”

“How did you-”

“Not the point. Come on, you’re what, 20, 21?” Kez egged on. “What are they gonna do? Ground you?”

Teetered between feet, Grace sighed. “Follow me.”

Kez grinned a devious, sparkling smile. “You got it, Phoenix.”

Grace led Kez through the empty study, trying not to smile at her derby name being used. The tall shelves of books were dusted despite it’s lack of use, and Grace’s hands thumbed over them to find the switch.

“Why don’t we just use the regular stairs?” Kez asked.

“Because they’re in the middle of the main living room,” Grace mumbled. “It’d be too obvious if I left.”

“So you go up your secret way to get out? How long have you been using it?”

“For a while, I guess.” Grace finally found the latch and clicked it open. “Gotcha!”

Two bookcases parted, revealing a stairwell.

“Ooh, you have a secret staircase?” Kez touched the walls in awe. “Neato.”

“Yeah, always thought we had buried secrets down here when I was a kid,” Grace narrated while walking up the stairs. “Turns out it just leads to storage.”

“That’s kinda cool, right?”

“I guess, but it kinda got old after a while, especially when I didn’t have anyone to share it with.” Walking to the floorboards, Grace muscled a panel out of the way. Lights from below shone up. “You can jump down. Just be careful-”

FWOOP! Suddenly Kez wasn’t next to Grace anymore, but down below, splayed on the bed. 

“Ow,” Kez murmured.

“…Or not,” Grace sighed. Slowly, she lowered herself through the floor panels, landing where Kez scrambled out of the way. “Wait here while I get changed.”

“Okey dokey.” Kez patted the bed while Grace walked over to her closet. Grace’s room was an outgrown version of herself, clips of magazines clashing with her baby pink walls from when she was a kid. Even as Grace opened her closet, old boxes of dolls tumbled out. Grumbling, she stepped over her old toys as she picked for comfortable clothes.

“Oooh, Grace lore!” Kez exclaimed as she picked up one of the dolls. It was a modified Barbie doll, fitted with knee pads and skates from a different doll and hair cut to look more similar to Grace’s. “How did you get a derby doll that looks just like you?”

“Oh, I had that doll for a while. For my 15th birthday Simon altered it for me,” Grace said casually as she took off her wig. A split second later, she froze, a pang hitting her stomach. “But anyway…”

“Hey, you don’t have to ‘but anyway’ about it,” Kez offered, even if it was a little awkward. “You can talk about it, if you want.”

“What’s there to talk about? I feel like I kinda told you everything. It’s just…” Grace sighed as she pulled on a sweater. “Being home just reminds me of all the stupid stuff I did when I was a kid. Like I’m stuck being the kid my parents assume I am.”

“Then why do you stay here? You make it obvious you don’t like it here.”

“I’m not sure where I’d go.”

Silence. “Well, while you figure it out, you can room with me if you want.”

Grace looked at Kez, who immediately averted her eyes. “Only if you want to! I just figured I’m not sure how long me and Morgan are gonna, you know, and you don’t have to deal with your parents or your baggage or whatever else you might have to deal with.”

“Grace?”

The voice made Grace whip around. It was her mother, staring at her in disbelief.

“What is Lorraine doing in here?”

“Oh, mon ami!” Kez tried to interject. “The little Monroe was just-”

“It’s okay,” Grace patted her on the shoulder. “Mom, this is my friend, Kez. We go to school together.”

Her mother raised her eyebrows in shock. “I thought I raised you better than to sneak people into the house.”

“I didn’t sneak her in, she came because she cares about me.” Her mom scoffed. Grace clenched and unclenched her fists. “I’m not being funny.”

“I’m aware,” her mother glowered. “Now show your friend to the door and get redressed, you look sloppy. And stop fidgeting so much.”

“Mrs. Monroe, if I may,” Kez stood between them again. Her voice had a slight edge to it, even if it didn’t tip over the edge towards ire. “I was merely assisting Grace with celebrating the New Year…in a scholarly way. I hope someone of your-” She looked up to how tall the other woman was. “Stature would understand.”

Her mom was taken aback by this. Grace was begging, almost daring her to make another snyde comment. That way she’d have an excuse to say that she’s an adult and her own person and capable of making her own decisions and to get off her back about it.

“Mrs. Monroe?” A voice called from outside. “We must get the champagne ready.”

After staring at them for another beat, Grace’s mother sighed and turned away. “Just…keep it down.” She pulled the door closed behind her. Grace looked at her feet, defeated.

She sighed. “I’ll show you outside.”

“Oh I already-” But Grace as already storming off, and Kez jogged to keep up with her. Finally, she got to the glass doors and slumped against it. The cool air tickled her skin, wind blowing off the steam of the confrontation. Kez sat next to Grace, waiting for her to say something. She didn’t.

“So…” Kez pulled out a bag. “Hungry?”

“Starving,” Grace said flatly.

Kez grinned. “Perfect. I hope this stayed warm, it’s from my favorite gyro place.”

“Is it real food? Not the tiny plate crap my parent’s are serving down there?”

“Oh it is anything but small.” She passed Grace a cylinder wrapped in foil. It took a moment for Grace to pick the foil off the end, but when she finally took a small bite relief gushed through her.

“FUCK, that’s good!” 

“Isn’t it?”

“I owe you one,” Grace said as she dove down for another bite.

“Oh! But don’t get too comfortable yet, we still got a light show.” Kez jumped up and removed a tarp off the patio fence to reveal several rows of fireworks on the banister.

Grace blinked. “Did you attach fireworks to my parent’s balcony?”

“Yeah, you wanna light them?”

It’s been a long night. After a moment, she put down her gyro and walked over. “Yeah, sure, fuck it. Why not?” 

Giggling, Kez offered Grace her lighter. After pointing to the end of the firecracker, Grace lit it before the two of them ran off. Holding their ears, they waited before nothing happened.

“That’s weird,” Kez said. “Must’ve been a dud-”

CRACK! The firecracker exploded in a shower of sparks. The two girls ducked away from the fire, watching a bright pink ring go off in the sky. Grace whipped her head around to the glass door. When nobody appeared, she slumped down and laughed.

“You’re crazy!” Grace cackled.

“I just know how to party,” Kez laughed back.

“Yeah? Watch this.” Grace ran back to the fireworks. Detaching one from the terrace, she lit the end before throwing it as hard as she could before running back to Kez. The sky suddenly got lit up in golden light, showering them with a thunderous boom.

“WHOA!” Kez stumbled back. “Who’s the crazy one now?”

Grace laughed, then picked up her gyro. “Well, cheers to the best party-goers on the team.”

“Cheers.” They ‘clinked’ food before eating in silence for a few moments. It was comfortable, but the inevitable itch of guilt hit Grace.

“Kez, there’s something I need to tell you,” Grace said. “When you first joined the team, I made assumptions about how you were gonna play. And when it looked like you were gonna catch up to me speed wise, I was kinda…jealous. So during our first race I tripped you.” She ducked her head in shame. “I’m sorry.”

Kez was silent for a few moments, but then spoke up. “I think I was a little jealous, too. I kinda kept trying to chat you up because I really wanted you to think I was good, I guess. It’s why I kept bothering Blake to let me into the rink early, so I could practice.”

Grace looked at her. “You really wanted my approval?”

“Of course, who wouldn’t? You’re talented, you’re good with words, you’re beautiful-”

Grace scoffed. “Please, I’m not-”

“Oh shut up, what are you gonna say? That you’re not pretty because you have a muscular build and acne? Bullshit!” Kez tried to give Grace a noogie, which proved difficult since she was so short. “Get rid of that Western beauty standard garbage they taught you in ballet. You’re not a doll.”

That got Grace to laugh. But then she started to think.

Under the watch of her parents, Grace felt more like a doll than a person: always what people expected her to be, stuck in one place to be seen as a beauty ideal. When she saw the Cruel Conductor in the rink, she realized she wanted to be an action figure. In all those years spent perfecting her derby techniques, learning how to bend people to her will, and optimizing the attention she got, she missed one important detail.

An action figure is still a type of doll, and she had forced herself and Hazel into the plastic molds this time. And the minute she broke out of that mold, she lost her best friend.

But now she was with a friend who couldn’t give less of a fuck about doll molds and probably just wants to play.

“Thanks for being so patient with me,” Grace said. “I know I haven’t been my best, I’m trying not to be hung up about things.”

“Don’t even mention it. I was so hung up on Morgan and Jeremy when I joined, so I get it. I owe you thanks, too,” Kez shrugged. She offered Grace a smile.

Ding! Kez’s phone went off. Picking it up, she jolted. “Shit! Forgot about the team call.” Fumbling with the buttons, Kez opened the call while Grace watched her fondly.

“Where have you been? It’s almost midnight!” Min’s voice came through on the phone.

“Well, I was getting a special guest.” Kez moved the phone so she and Grace were both in the frame. On the screen was Min and Ryan together on the couch in one corner, Mikayla at a desk in the other corner, and a black square in the corner that just said ‘Blake.’

Grace waved at the camera. “Hey, cranes.”

“Grace! Happy New Year!” Mikayla exclaimed excitedly. “I thought you weren’t able to come.”

“I thought so too, but this little knight in shining armor broke into my house and disguised herself as the kitchen staff.” Grace playfully nudged Kez into the shoulder.

“What can I say, I’m a master of disguise,” Kez bragged with a fake hair flip.

“It was Lorraine, wasn’t it?” Ryan asked dryly.

Grace widened her eyes. “It’s a regular thing?!”

“Only in a culinary setting, jeez,” Kez shrugged. Min and Ryan gave her a look.

“Anyways, should we stream the ball drop?” Blake asked.

“Actually, I think we have something better over here.” Grace turned to Kez, and nodded towards the fireworks. Kez grinned in recognition and immediately set up the camera to face the fireworks.

“Oh Jesus, Kez are those-sorry, my mom says hi!” Min said as a woman entered the frame briefly in the background.

“Hi Min’s mom!” Everyone said nearly unanimously.

“Hi, Happy New Year!” The lady said before walking away.

“I wish my brother was awake, but he’s still too young to stay up this late,” Mikayla said.

“You have a younger brother?!” Grace asked in disbelief. “If anything I thought you were a younger sibling.”

“Yeah, well, he didn’t come into the picture for a while,” Mikayla shrugged.

“I must meet this Sailor Doom junior…doomior?” Ryan muttered to himself.

“Guys! Countdown started!” Blake shouted.

“Okay, start counting when you get to ten!” Grace shouted.

Eventually the phone blared a disorderly countdown, in which Grace and Kez began lighting the fireworks. They hurried back to sit down and covered their ears.
“Five, four, three, two, one!” 

The fireworks all went off at once, booming in different colors. The night sky was brilliant and loud, the way Grace loved her derby matches.

“Happy New Year!” Everyone on call cheered. 

“Look at those fireworks,” Min-Gi’s mom said off to the side. “Min-Gi, are your friends professionals? Those are very close.”

“Mom!” Min shouted in disbelief, and Ryan laughed and nudged him on the arm. 

“It’s been a great year guys,” Mikayla said, smiling wide. “I’m glad we got to be together-ish for the new one.”

“Yeah,” Grace looked at the screen, and then at Kez. For once she wasn’t saying anything, just enjoying the moment. Grace offered her a fist bump, and she took it. “Me too.”

“Okay, nice warmup!” Blake shouted to the Cranes. “Get some water and do a few laps, then we’ll get into contact drills.”

“How did you even get this rink back, Blake?” Mikayla asked, wiping her brow.

“Oh, I didn’t. I just had a copy of the key,” he held up a spare key.

“What?!” Min squawked on the bench. “Wait, is that why we’re out so late?”

“Oh, boo, I know teams that practiced 4 times a week. This is generous. Just don’t shout so much.” Blake rolled his eyes. “Besides, it’s not like I had much else to do.”

“Blake’s right. If we wanna get better, need to put the hours in,” Grace proclaimed. A twinkle danced in her eyes. “Besides, you know what that means.”

Blake squinted suspiciously. “What?”

Grace slung an arm around him playfully. “If he broke the rules to keep watching us skate, it means he likes hanging out with us.”

A chorus of ‘oohs’ rung out in the rink. The other players huddled around him, Kez even trying to close in with a kissy face. 

“Alright, alright, enough!” Blake hissed. “Now stop hugging me, or we’re doing endurance.”

Everyone immediately backed off. They were still shaking off the rust from winter break, so no one was willing to die so quickly even if they still had a few more days before classes officially started. Once the swarm of bodies backed off, Blake sighed as he trudged back onto the track, tugging at his old striped referee jersey.

“Well, congrats everyone,” Grace said proudly, albeit a bit tired. “We found out for sure Blake sees us as friends.”

“Yeah!” Mikayla raised a hand to high five Grace.

“I mean, he always liked you the most so it’s a given,” Grace teased. “Now go get your laps in.” While Mikayla raced to the track, Grace turned to Kez. “You, on the other hand, can gloat as long as it’s after practice.”

“When would I not?” Kez winked and then high fived Grace with a noise of effort. She then took off, going way too fast for a lap to stay warmed up. Shaking her head, 

Grace couldn’t help but laugh. She’d eventually learn how to conserve her energy.

Grace smiled to herself. While she had some jitters at the beginning of practice, getting into the routine of practicing her plow and hockey stops had her feeling more like herself.

“Chronic Cranes are finally back-”

Ryan wasn’t even looking at her when she raised her hand. When he finally turned his head, he startled for a moment. He lifted a hand but the moment passed. A guilty grimace crossed over his mouth guard.

“Oh.” Grace deflated. “I’m sorry.”

“No! I mean, no it’s fine, I just-” Ryan looked back and forth at the track. “I didn’t see you there.” His eyes shifted towards her skate bag. “You haven’t worn your varsity jacket.”

“Oh!” Grace flushed. “I just-I mean, it’s not the warmest in this weather and…” Her eyes went downwards, and then she noticed Ryan’s skates. Instead of the old dancer skates, he wore brand new, bright red Riedell’s. “New skates?”

“Oh, yeah,” Ryan mumbled. “Christmas gift from my sister.” He held his breath, an honest sentence begging to be let out of his mouth. “Anyways, I didn’t mean to freak out, I just…need to get into skate mode.”

“Yeah, of course.” She nodded, accepting the lie. “See you out there?”

He gave a weak set of finger guns. “See you out there.” His awkward smile fizzled out. Looking back and forth for a moment, he went back out on the track. Once he was out of earshot, Grace deflated, slumping over the rink wall.

“You alright?” Min asked, a reminder he was silently watching the whole time.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Grace responded dryly. “It’s just that Ryan’s still not normal about me, that’s all.”

“Grace.”

“I just don’t get it!” She whispers, exasperated. “One minute he’s telling me to step up and be the captain again, the next he won’t even give me a high five. What’s up with that?”

“It’s not you,” Min consoled her. “It’s…he’s been carrying a lot on his shoulders, and when you left the team, it shook him up really bad. We tried to practice without you and he kinda…cracked. So I think he’s still mentally waiting for another shoe to drop.”

Grace frowned. “Was I really that bad?”

“That’s not what I meant! What I mean is what you did made him get inside his own head about, you know, New York.” Min propped his chin on his hands. “He said he’d come back to the team if you apologized.”

Grace paused. She watched the way he skated on the rink, tension in his shoulders. While she only just learned about Ryan lying to Min about New York, she could only imagine how it felt for him to carry that information for months. They say the truth will set you free, but Grace still sometimes felt weighed down by how exposed she was; is that how Ryan felt?

“Can you just try to talk to him?” Min pleaded. “He might be more receptive to it now.”

Sighing, Grace straightened up. “Okay, fine. But it’s not my fault if he doesn’t want to.”

She skated onto the rink where they were doing laps, catching up to Ryan.

“Hey, Ryan,” she said softly.

Not soft enough, apparently, as Ryan startled when he looked next to him. “Oh, Grace! Hi.” While Ryan could normally push aside his feelings for pleasantries, he didn’t even fake smile at her. “It’s uh…been a minute.”

“Yeah, break just feels like forever, you know?” Grace attempted to joke.

“Mhm-hm.” Nothing else. Not much to work with.

“So,” she said. “You and Min spent the holidays together.”

“Oh, yeah!” Ryan said, almost dazed. “Yeah, we talked with our families, and…yeah.”

“Cool.” They rolled in silence.

“It was nice that you could join the New Year’s call,” he said quietly.

“Oh, me too!” Grace replied. “I wouldn’t have been there without Kez.”

“Yeah, that’s Kez.” He could barely force a chuckle. Thickness broiled in the air, making an awkward stew of a conversation. Grace trilled her lips to fill the silence, looking away from him.

“Listen, um…” Ryan scratched the back of his neck. “What I said the night of the open skate, I didn’t really mean it. You know that, right?”

Grace scoffed. “No, you did.”

Ryan blinked. “What?”

“You always felt kinda weird about me. But it’s okay, Smackamoto.” Grace bumped his shoulder as she passed him. “I can handle it.”

Ryan’s jaw dropped, blinking after her. Sighing, he joined the others at the center of the track. Grace almost felt bad, but in all honesty wasn’t in the mood. Some of the support and apologies felt like they were souring into pity after a while.

“Tweet tweet tweet tweet!” Blake shouted despite having a whistle around his neck. “Alright, keep rolling. I’m gonna start hitting so be ready!”

Everyone started taking slow laps. Grace braced herself in derby stance, ready for the hit.

Or so she thought. Blake rammed into her and sent her flying like a pinball. She gracelessly skidded on her knees, taking a minute.

“Grace!” Everyone turned their heads. Mikayla nearly bolted to her. “Are you alright?”

Grumbling, Grace took her hand. “Yeah, thanks. Keep going.”

“Okay, ready to go again when you are,” Blake said.

“But don’t feel the need to rush!” Kez interjected, waving her hands. “Take your time.”

Grace exhaled and nodded. They got back onto the track, but Ryan lingered for a minute.

“You got this,” he said quietly, then resumed his place on the track. Shaking her head, Grace set back up on the track.

And she got knocked down again.

And again.

And again and again and again.

If she were a rookie Apex player, she’d get chewed out. Instead, her teammates kept offering her encouragement and support. Checking in on her, making sure she wasn’t hurt, and letting her know she could slow down if she needed to. It should have been comforting, but it honestly made Grace feel even worse about her sub-par performance.

“Okay, water break!” Blake clapped his hands together. Relieved, Grace stumbled to the wall and took deep gulps from her bottle.

“Hey, Grace? A word,” he interrupted. Sighing, Grace looked at Blake. He was actually circled by Kez, Mikayla, and Min, all looking apologetic.

“What?” Grace asked, shrinking back subtly.

“We just wanted to check in on you,” Mikayla said gently.

“Are you feeling alright?” Blake asked.

“It’s not an insult if you’re not!” Kez blurted. “We’re just asking because, you know, we had a break, and now we’re skating together again, and-”

“You’re skating like dogshit, Grace.”

The room went silent for a split second, heads whipping around to see Ryan looking at her with a neutral look, his hands on his hips.

“Ryan!” Min hissed the minute he got his wits together.

“What did you just say?” Grace said lowly, making sure she heard right.

Ryan took even strides towards her. “You. Are. Skating. Like. Dog. Shit,” he enunciated, a smack hitting the end of the last ‘t.’ “Or do you prefer horse shit?”

Grace sputtered. “I-I am not! Why would you say that?”

“Well, first of all, you are way too upright.” Ryan bumped her from behind, making her stagger. “Second, you’re a lot slower on your reaction time.” He pushed her from the side, a bit harder this time. “And third, you’re holding back against us! It’s like you’re scared or something.”

“What the fuck, dude?” Kez said.

“Yeah, what she said,” Blake agreed.

“Relax, she’s not made of glass. She’s been doing this for years, and she won several championships. She skated with the Apex of all teams, she’s the toughest skater here. You don’t need to coddle her.” He turned away from everyone, and Grace thought the conversation was over. “Unless, you know, I was wrong about you.”

Anger replaced annoyance. “What did you say?” Grace asked, voice low.

“I said maybe you just don’t have the stuff anymore,” Ryan shrugged nonchalantly.

She exhaled through her nose. “You didn’t last one second on your feet before I taught you how to hit.”

“Yeah! And now you can’t even catch me with your hips.” Ryan swooped past her. Grace tried to move past him, but he slid in front of her. She tried to move the opposite direction, but he caught up to her quickly. “Look, it’s like we’re dancing!”

“Come on, Ryan. Knock it off,” Grace muttered. 

“What’s a matter, Gigi? We gotta practice our laterals,” he said casually, smirk growing. Frustrated, Grace kept trying to move past him but he was just one second faster than her. Eventually she tried to push past him, but he caught her in a hockey stop. 

“Hey!” Grace tried pushing past him on her toe stops, but he remained firmly in place. “Just leave me alone.”

“Okay, fine. Maybe I’ve been too hard on you this practice.” He relented, backing up several feet. “Then again…” Ryan smirked, brow curving deviously. “I never had to skate against my boyfriend.”

The string holding back Grace’s temper snapped. Growling, she sprinted towards Ryan. “He’s not my BOYFRIEND!” 

She slammed her hips into Ryan, hard. He flew back about 4 feet, going airborne before his back smacked into the wall. He nearly crumpled to the floor. An audible gasp filled the room, as if echoing the wind knocked out of his lungs. Grace caught her breath, staring at him. 

Before her adrenaline could fade into guilt, though, Ryan’s eyes widened, lips stretched into a mad-scientist grin. “There she is!”

He began to race towards her. The other skaters fled from the track, but Grace wasn’t even getting started yet. Grunting, she sped up and slammed into him with a hockey stop, managing to stop him in his tracks.

“Wow, that was pretty good,” he huffed, then flipped around so he was flush with Grace’s back and began to push her forward. The smirk never left his face. “But we’ll see if you can keep doing it.”

“How did you learn how to do that? You don’t even like jamming,” Grace complained as she moved laterally to keep him back.

“Someone once told me there’s nothing worse than a blocker that moves like a jammer!” He then pulled on Grace’s hips to propel himself forward.

“Hey, get back here!” Grace popped up on her toe stops and began to chase Ryan. She didn’t quite catch up on him, so she yanked on his shirt and swung him backwards. He stumbled for a minute, and Grace used the opportunity to punch him with her shoulder. His head swung backwards violently.

“Oh, fuck,” Ryan huffed, rubbing his cheekbone. “That actually hurt.”

“What do you mean, actually?!” Grace charged at Ryan with her chest. He managed to dodge the blow, even if it was unsteady.

“Okay, I deserved that,” Ryan mumbled, voice strained. “But this is what I mean! This is the Stevie Phoenix we need on the track!”

“You don’t get it, you never needed Stevie Phoenix! Nobody did!” It was one thing for Grace to know that she wasn’t good as she used to be, but another to be made an example out of. Desperate to paint her anger anywhere, she rushed towards Ryan. He turned his back in time to throw her off, sending her careening in the air. Without thinking, Grace pushed her palms on the floor to erect herself, bouncing off her kneepads and fully standing with a skid from her toe stops.

Ryan gaped at her for a moment. “You just did a goddamn somersault! How is that not badass?!”

“Stop joking around, Ryan!” Grace threw up her hands, exasperated. “If I can’t beat you, I won’t stand a chance against Simon!”

For once, Ryan didn’t have a clever comeback.

“So just do both of us a favor, and cut the crap, okay?”

Ryan glowered. “Not until you take me down!”

Grace growled, a final surge of anger propelling her forward. Ryan raced in tandem. A crescendo built up between the two of them, coming to a battle cry in which they were going to collide.

THUNK! Grace tripped on her toe stop and flew forward, tumbling into Ryan. Ryan flew back, and they careened into the floor. Grace rolled onto her back, wincing in pain. No one said anything, their quickened breaths filling the silence.

And then Grace laughed.

It was a small chuckle at first, but then hysteria escaped from her and came out in droves of laughter. Ryan joined as well, laugh initially cautious but just as chaotic as hers was. The two of them laid in pained laughter on the floor. The red around Grace’s vision faded, and the adrenaline in her lungs wheezed out.

“Oh, god,” Grace sighed. “What are we doing?”

“I have no idea,” Ryan agreed. He smiled at her, and then it faded to look more apologetic. “Look, I’m sorry about what I said.”

“What, about Simon being my boyfriend?”

“Yeah, I know it’s not like that, you just seemed in a rut and it was killing me seeing you like that and I-hey, ow!” Ryan yelped as Grace tugged on his ear. She wiggled it around, giggling a little.

“Okay, now we’re even,” Grace laughed. She sighed at the ceiling. “You know, I’ve never seen Simon as anything other than a friend. But ever since we stopped talking, he’s felt a lot like an ex-boyfriend. Is that weird?”

“No, actually.”

Grace turned her head. “Really? You’ve had that happen?”

Ryan then startled. “Well, I mean just losing friends, and it hitting harder is just- you know what I mean!” He crossed his arms. An exhale deflated out of his chest. “But like, I’m also sorry about what I said to you that night.”

“You weren’t wrong.” Grace shrugged. “I was full of shit.”

Ryan paused. “Well, maybe I was full of shit too.” 

Grace turned to him. His eyes were downcast, and he looked ashamed. 

“You really pissed me off, but then when I found out why you did what you did, I was even more angry. It made no sense why you would forgive someone who treated you and all your friends like that.” He chewed his lip. “And then Min told me you apologized to him. And I thought, ‘well, she said it, but I have to see it for myself.” I didn’t know how anyone could forgive someone who said what you did to him.” Ryan picked at his shirt. “And then Min forgave me for lying about New York.”

So it wasn’t just Grace that kept comparing their friendships. It was a bit comforting, as bizarre as it was. Ryan always struggled with self-reflection, though, drawing devil horns on anything that resembled a mirror. She could try to pry at the crack he opened.

Instead, Grace scoffed at him. “What an asshole, right?”

“I know! The audacity of that bastard.” 

The two chuckled for a minute. “It threw me off when he forgave me and all you came to check in on me.” Grace swallowed. “I haven’t worn the jacket because I feel like I haven’t earned it.”

“Oh, don’t be such a Catholic, Grace.”

“Too late, I went to Catholic school.”

Ryan gaped at her. “Shut up, you didn’t!”

“I did! It’s how I met Simon.” Grace tilted her head at Ryan. “Why is it so weird?”

“No, it’s just I feel like I understand so much about you.” Ryan gave her a playful pat on her helmet.

“Oh shut the hell up!” Grace half-heartedly shoved Ryan, but couldn’t stop her laughter.

“But seriously,” Ryan said. “You don’t need to prove anything to us. You deserve someone that’s not gonna make you jump through hoops just to feel loved. Like Min.” 

He than inhaled. “And…I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”

Grace smiled. “Thanks, Ryan. I think I needed to get that out of my system.”

“Me too.” He winked at her and offered her a fist bump. “Welcome back, cap.”

“Hey,” Blake called from across the rink. “You two good?”

Grace sat up with a grunt, offering Ryan a hand. She pulled him up, and he winced but had his heartfelt smile on nonetheless. “Yeah, we’re good.”

“Cool,” Blake replied. “Because I think we gotta book it.”

Grace shook off the morning chills as she entered the freshman dorm. A draft still lingered in the hall, only getting warmer the further one walked into the dorms. It seemed the buildings forgot that the students were back on campus and needed the heat back on. 
Bounding up the steps, Grace eventually found Mikayla’s dorm number. She raised a hand to knock and inform her they were ready to go to practice, but was quickly interrupted by loud muttering.

“Why can’t you understand that this is my choice?” Mikayla’s voice projected through the door. Agitation was all over her words.

“Look at what she did, Mikayla!” It was Lake that argued back. Grace froze. “She’s really good at lying, you have no idea whether she’s still using you or not.” The words avalanched on Grace, making her flinch.

“First of all, she never used us. Grace genuinely loves roller derby, and you can’t do it without a team,” Mikayla countered. Grace leaned towards the door to hear a little more. “And second, if she was lying, then why would she have left us for a bit after telling us about Simon? Wouldn’t she have tried harder to make us stay?”

“Well, even if she’s telling the truth, there’s no way of knowing that she’s actually changed,” Jesse now joined the discussion. Grace’s stomach dropped. “What could have possibly happened that made her change her mind on the Apex?”

“I don’t know? Maybe the same thing that happened with you and your brother, Jesse!” Mikayla snapped.

Silence. “Only Grace never got the chance to apologize. And because of that, she’s making the effort to apologize to the people she has now. She’s behind me, I know it.”

The door was yanked inward, sending Grace lurching forward. Barely catching herself, she looked up.
Mikayla, Lake, and Jesse all stood in a semi-circle. Mikayla had one hand on the door knob, and the other slinging her skate bag over her shoulder. Jesse and Lake’s eyes widened, unsure how to respond to their new guest.

“Hi,” Grace said slowly. “I was just here to pick up Mikayla.”

They all continued to stare at her. 

“You know, because we have…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Grace turned around. “I should go.”

“No.” A hand tugged on Grace’s arm, stopping her in her tracks. Mikayla shifted so Grace could at least see her in her peripheral. “I’m actually glad you’re here now. I think it’s about time we all talked about it.”

“I don’t think there’s anything to talk about,” Jesse said icily, stepping in front of Lake.

“Get over yourself, Jesse,” Mikayla scolded. “You had plenty to say before.”

“Kayla, stop,” Grace said, not unkindly. Mikayla straightened up, attention back on her like a soldier waiting for the next order. It sent a twist in Grace’s gut, so she lowered her voice. “Look, I don’t wanna get between you and your friends. I don’t want you standing up for me when I was the one who messed up.”

“It’s not about you messing up, it’s about closure,” Mikayla explained. “Grace, you changed my life with this sport. I want you to be my friend as much as I want Jesse and Lake to be.” She smiled at Grace, who returned it. “Which is why the three of you are gonna figure this out.”

Grace furrowed her brow. “I’m sorry?”

Before she knew it, Grace was being led by Mikayla to have a seat on her bed. Mikayla sharply nodded to both Jesse and Lake to follow them. Awkwardly, they took 2 opposing desk chairs and faced them. Grace and Jesse would take a breath to start at the same time, both stalling when it looked like the other was gonna speak.

“So,” Grace finally mustered up. “Jesse has a brother?”

Jesse gave a bewildered look. It was a ballsy move, sure, but she knew Mikayla could wait out the awkwardness and pettiness all day.

He licked his lips before speaking. “You have a sibling?”

Grace swallowed. “Not exactly. I mean, she felt like one, but…” Sweat laced her palms as she felt Jesse and Lake’s eyes on her. A squeeze on the shoulder brought her back to the present. She looked over, and Mikayla gave her that ever patient look she had when she was helping her fellow blockers hold a particularly unruly jammer.

“She had the biggest heart I’d ever seen, and I think I broke it,” Grace finally said. “I made a little girl feel like she wasn’t enough for me. And then she was smart enough to leave. She was braver than any of us in the Apex combined.” She managed eye contact. “Just like you two. I can’t imagine how scary it was back then, and I don’t blame you for hating me, but I want you to know that I’ll do anything to make it up to you and stop the Apex from hurting anyone else. I’m sorry.”

While they didn’t take their eyes off her, Jesse and Lake’s shoulders were considerably less tense. Jesse was squeezing Lake’s hand, and they leaned over to whisper in his ear. He furrowed his brow at them, and after a few silent glances at one another, he sighed. 

“Mikayla, can we have a moment alone?” Jesse asked. 

Mikayla looked over at Grace, who simply nodded in assurance. “Okay, I’ll be out of the hall.”

Grace was suprised when Lake also got up, still looking at her. “Hey Grace?” 

She swallowed. “Yeah?”

They held up a closed fist towards her. “Kick Simon’s ass for me, will you?”

Grace blinked. Her eyes darted between Lake’s hand and face, seeing if this was a prank. When it wasn’t, she scoffed nervously and bumped their fist. “Yeah, okay.”

Lake then walked out with Mikayla, muttering, “Does this mean I have to talk to Blake-” before the door clicked shut, leaving Grace and Jesse alone.

Coughing, Grace tried to start up again. “What was Lake saying about Blake?”

“What? Oh, they have this weird beef,” Jesse explained, taking a breather from the previous conversation. “Blake came out as trans around the same time Lake did, and they each claim the other copied their new names.”

“Sounds like something Blake would get petty about,” Grace snorted. “Who do you think is right?”

“You can stop deflecting now, Grace,” he said flatly, and she shrunk. The chair he sat in creaked as he crossed his legs, sighing. “I got my brother’s arm broken when I was in high school.”

Grace blinked. “Oh?”

“Yeah.” A pensive silence hung over Jesse as he rubbed his chin. “There was this ‘man test’ my friends made him do, and I just watched…I made up with him but I’m still haunted by the way he looked at me.” 

The stages of betrayal on Hazel’s face flashed in Grace’s mind like an old tape. The tears, the anger, the resignation…

“I know exactly what you’re talking about.”

“So you know why I don’t take any of this lightly.”

Pursing her lips, Grace nodded. “Yes.”

“We all love Mikayla and want her to be happy.” His eyes shifted back and forth. “I don’t think we’ll ever be friends, and I’m not even sure I forgive you. But all I know is that ever since Mikayla joined your team, she’s been the most confident and happy that I’ve seen her.”

Tears pricked at the corners of Jesse’s eyes. “I don’t wanna share too much about her past without her permission, but Lake told me how in school Mikayla was more shy. Tulip really was the one person to get her to come out of her shell. But now she’s like that with everyone, and she deserves to feel like that all the time.” His voice cracked. “Just promise you’ll keep helping her feel that way, okay?”

The emotion caught Grace by surprise. Her impulse was to assure him with self-confident humor, but she bit it down. “I feel honored that the team helped her, but it’s not all me, Jesse,” she said, tracing over the pink patterns of Mikayla’s comforter. “I meant it when I told you the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. I know you want her to be safe, but I think the three of you don’t need to play protector with her all the time.”

Now it was Jesse’s turn to be taken aback. “What?”

“She has a good head on her shoulders, I think you need to trust that she can handle herself,” she explained. “And that she’ll come to you all for help if she can’t.”

Opening his mouth in a retort, Jesse stalled. He slumped. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He stood up. “Truce?”

Grace looked at his hand for a moment. She stood to shake it, and he pulled it away to sweep his hair back. 

“Too slow,” Jesse snickered.

Grace rolled her eyes. “How long were you waiting to do that?”

“The whole time,” he admitted. “I wanted to be cool, but was afraid Lake was gonna beat me to it.”

They walked through the hallway and opened the door to where Mikayla and Lake were waiting. 

“All good?” Mikayla asked.

“As good as we can be,” Jesse said. He looked at Grace and nodded, and she returned the gesture.

“Thanks,” Grace said quietly to him and Lake. She then patted Mikayla on the back. “Now come on, we’ve got work to do.”

“Bye!” Mikayla waved at the two of them as they made their way down the hall. “So, are you and Jesse okay?”

“We’re not enemies, if that’s what you mean,” Grace said. She grimaced as they went down the stairs. “I hate to say it, but I don’t think we’re gonna be friends. I know how badly you wanted us all to get along and have a big group.”

Mikayla exhaled levelly from her nose. “I’ve been coming to terms with it. But maybe it’s not so bad to have different friends for different things.”

“Yeah,” Grace mused. She remembered was Jesse said earlier. “Can I ask something personal?”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Jesse mentioned you were a bit of a wallflower when you were younger, except around Tulip. Why’s that?”

“Oh! Well, she kinda had a personality I wanted for a while,” Mikayla explained. “I had moved schools around 6th grade after I had come out as trans. My parents wanted me to have a clean slate, but I was still so nervous. Tulip didn’t care about any of that, she’d even yell at kids on the playground if they teased me. She saw me for me.” A small smile ghosted on her face, which then dropped into a frown.

“What’s wrong?” Grace asked. 

“Oh, nothing.”

“I know that face. Spill.”

“It’s just…” Mikayla tightened the grip on her skate bag. “When we moved again for my brother to get better schooling, I had gone stealth in high school. Eventually I went from puberty blockers to hormones, and then I gained weight, so once I saw Tulip again I looked pretty different.” She stopped mid step, looking sadly at Grace. “What if the reason she’s distant is that she doesn’t like how much I’ve changed?”

“What? Mikayla, that’s ridiculous.” Grace took one of Mikayla’s hands into her own. “If she felt that weird about it, she wouldn’t have roomed with you. Not to mention her twin and cousin aren’t cis, so if they heard she was ignoring you for that reason, they’d whip her into shape.”

A wet laugh escaped Mikayla’s throat. “I know, I know, but I guess…I just want her to like me.”

“I know, Kayla, I feel that,” Grace said sympathetically. The last thing she wanted was Mikayla to feel dejected the way Hazel did, but it seemed out of her control. “But there’s only one person who you can control who likes you.” She pointed to Mikayla. “And that’s you.”

Mikayla sniffled. “How do you like yourself without feeling arrogant?”

“I think I’m the wrong person to ask that,” Grace whispered, mouth quirking upward. “I’m told I have a bit of a reputation for being vain.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, it got so bad I started my own derby team full of kids and made them the worst.” Mikayla held her breathe, and Grace said, “You can laugh, that was a joke.”

“Heh, sorry,” Mikayla laughed.

“Don’t be,” Grace said. “But, I guess it wasn’t actually self-love. I was trying to love this person who I wasn’t, and that just made me act like an ass. In the end I still struggled to like myself.” She ran a thumb over Mikayla’s hand. “That’s what’s so cool about you, Mikayla. You’re so openly yourself, and you make other people wanna relax and be themselves, too.”

Mikayla wiped her eyes. “Really?”

Grace smiled. “Really.” When it looked like Mikayla couldn’t decide what to say, Grace reached over and gave her a hug.

“Thank you for coming back,” Mikayla said quietly, burying her head in Grace’s shoulder. “And for talking with my roommates.”

“Of course,” Grace responded, rubbing her back. 

“Hazel would be proud if she saw you now.”

Grace balked, catching her breath. She cleared her throat. “Alright, I think we’re actually gonna be late at this rate.”

“Okay, okay.” Mikayla pulled back from the embrace, giggling a little. “What are we gonna be doing?”

“Since the only spot I could find was an empty basketball court,” Grace wiggled her head back and forth. “Probably really bad plow stops.”

“Oof,” Mikayla huffed. “Hopefully our fundraiser helps us find a new home.”

“Are you sure more people were supposed to come?” Grace asked as she finished her twenty-fifth crane.