Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

That Fateful Day

"Ready?" Chloe asks with barely contained excitement, holding a lighter in her left hand and goggles over her eyes. Dust particles reflect the midday sunlight in a dazzling display that’s about to be outshone.

"I guess. But isn't your mom gonna freak?" Max questions her blonde friend as she joins her on the hardwood floor of Chloe's room, swimming goggles suctioned to her face.

"She's probably cooking with the radio on. She won't hear a thing." Three dolls sit in front of them, tied together around a firecracker. Chloe attempts to ignite the lighter several times, getting nothing but sparks.

"I bet she'll notice a whole in the ground." Max retorts.

Chloe turns towards the brunette, placing a hand on her shoulder and flashing her trademark grin. "Trust in science, Max. Even when science means blowing shit up." 

Turning her attention back to their 'experiment,' Chloe strikes the lighter several more times before it finally produces a flame. Both girls hold their breath as she carefully extends the flickering flame to the fuse. There's an audible sizzle when the fuse ignites, like a quiet warning of the destruction to come.

The girls jump to their feet as they giggle. In their scramble to get to safety, they end up colliding and nearly knock each other down before running behind the bed. They wait with baited breath as they peek over their hiding place. The fuse continues to sizzle as it burns down into the top of the explosive.

Nothing.

Seconds stretch and feel like minutes as Max and Chloe stare at the dolls. Is it a dud? Max asks herself. They rise slightly together but know better than to approach the firecracker. Her heart beats in her ears as they wait, not even aware of the breath she's holding in. Suddenly.

BOOM!

The dolls explode, sending plastic body parts in every direction. Max can almost make out a shocked expression on the doll's face as it goes whizzing past her head. Both girls immediately burst into laughter as they stand and remove their goggles.

"Tell me that wasn't the coolest thing you've ever seen?!" Chloe beams as she meets Max's gleeful look.

"That was truly amazing," the brunette agrees. "Why are explosions so awesome?"

The blonde girl cocks her head, like the answer should be obvious. "That's like asking 'why are kittens cute?' some things… just are."

The excited look on Max's face suddenly fades to one of concern as the reality of what they'd just done hits her. "Um, I'm not sure your mom would see it that way." 

"When she asked me to get rid of my old junk, she never specified how." Chloe states nonchalantly as she glances around at the messy state of her room. "I guess I better do some actual cleaning too," she sighs before meeting the brunette's eyes. “Mind helping a girl out and tossing any trash you find in that pile?" She asks, gesturing to a cardboard box on the floor in front of her closet.

"Yeah, okay. We've got time." A knowing smile lights up the brunette's face as she speaks. 

Chloe responds with her own grin before she walks over towards the closet and begins rummaging through it. "I'm so glad you're not moving anymore," she says over her shoulder as she digs through the clothes on the ground.

"Me too," Max replies. Me too. She looks around the room as she thinks. Mid day sunlight shines through the windows, lighting up the whole room in a cheery glow. Memories of the past eight years fight for her attention. We've had so many fun adventures. I can't believe they could have ended in a few days.

The brunette frowns to herself as she thinks about what moving away might have been like. No more sleepovers, building pillow forts with Chloe and looking for buried treasure. I don't know what I would have done if we'd moved to Seattle. I can't imagine not having Chloe in my life. 

Her chest feels tight, like a vice clamping down on her heart at the thought of losing her best, and only , friend. Max shakes her head, trying to rid her mind of the terrible thoughts. She walks over to the shelves next to Chloe's bed and mindlessly begins sorting through the junk piled on top.

"I kind of feel bad for my dad though. He was really looking forward to that promotion." Max says as she flips through a pile of old homework.

"He's an adult, he'll get over it. I'm thankful for whoever burned down his company's Seattle office. Kind of feels like fate."

"Some disgruntled employee," Max states, remembering her parent's conversation last week when they found out they wouldn't be moving. "I'm just glad it was a weekend and nobody got hurt. But my dad said it'll probably set the company back months if not years."

Max walks over and tosses the old homework in the trash pile before moving on to the desk. Pulling open The top drawer, she spots a box full of trading cards. "How about these boy band trading cards? Super cringeworthy."

She can barely pick up the box before Chloe's at her side. "Yeah, and hilarious. Remember when we gave them all makeovers?"

"You mean when you drew boobs on all of them? I was so mad at you," Max chuckles as the blonde snatches the box from her. 

"And yet, our friendship lived on. So too will these cards." Chloe tosses the box back in the drawer and shuts it before Max can object. The older girl walks back to her closet and sighs. "Why is getting rid of stuff so much harder than collecting it?" 

"Maybe 'cause you're an overly sentimental hoarder?" Max answers as she resumes looking through the desk, gathering up more old papers.

"Granted. But I still need more junk in the trash pile." Chloe retorts, glancing up at the papers in the brunette's hands. She cringes when she spots an old textbook in the pile. "Eww math. That you can throw away." 

Max spends another ten minutes making her way around the large room. They end up reminiscing about almost everything Max tries to throw away. From the board game with missing pieces, to their 'choose your own adventure' book. There are fond memories to be found in every nook and cranny. And I almost had to say goodbye to all of them, Max sighs as she gives up and walks over to her friend.

The brunette glances down at the trash box and frowns. Spotting a familiar red sweater, Max reaches in and pulls it out, examining the well worn garment. 

"What are you doing?" Chloe asks, her voice sounding harsher than intended.

"Your favorite hoodie. You must have thrown it in by mistake, right?" 

"No. It's fine. It's filled with holes and… falling apart." Chloe's voice softens.

"That never stopped you from wearing it before."

"It's fine. Really," Chloe sighs and turns back to the closet.

Max hesitates for a moment before deciding to put the worn hoodie in Chloe's dresser. Turning around to watch her friend sort through a box, the brunette fidgets with her hands as she considers her next words carefully.

"Chloe, are you… Okay?"

"Yeah, great." Chloe deadpans without turning to meet her gaze.

"Come on Chlo, you're terrible at hiding your feelings. Ever since you started taking that science class at Blackwell Academy, you've seemed kind of… down."

"It's just…" the blonde starts before sighing and turning to meet Max's eyes. "It's only one class a couple times a week. But, I can't stand the other kids. They're all a bunch of stuck-up rich jerks. Everyone's so fake there."

"Is that why you wanted to get rid of your sweater?" Max asks tentatively.

"There's this girl in my class, Marisa. She's always complaining about her tutor, even though she never even does any homework. She's so full of herself. I hate fake people." She pauses as she glances at the trash box, several torn shirts sitting on top. "Anyways, she wouldn't leave me alone… So I turned up the Bunsen burner when she wasn't looking."

Max's eyes go wide in alarm. "What?!"

Shaking her head, Chloe raises her hands to reassure the brunette. "It wasn't that bad. No one got hurt. You know I know what I'm doing."

"Chloe," Max breathes out heavily, trying not to get mad. She doesn't need me chastising her. "What do you mean she wouldn't leave you alone?"

"She made fun of my clothes… called me poor."

"Do your parents know?" Max asks, receiving a nod in reply.

"Principal Wells talked to my dad when he picked me up. Said if I got in trouble like that again, he'd have to 'consider rescinding' my scholarship for next year. My mom's still pretty mad about it, but at least dad was on my side."

"I'm sorry Chloe. She's probably just jealous that you're still in eighth grade but taking a high school class. She'll never be as cool as you."

Chloe chuckles a little at the comment, making Max feel a little bit better about her friend. "You're the only one that thinks I'm cool Max." She says as they share a smile. "Anyways, I think we've found enough to throw out. Let's take this down stairs." 

Leaning down, Chloe hefts the box off the ground as Max hurries to open the door. When they reach the bottom of the stairs, the blonde girl drops the box by the front door. She pokes her head into the kitchen when she notices how quiet the house is.

"Weird, my parents should have been back by now." Chloe comments as the girls walk down the hall towards the living room. "Well, what should we do now?" She asks before noticing Max staring at her dad's camera on the kitchen table. "Oh yeah, my dad left that out. Said you could use it if you want. I think he's getting sick of you drooling all over it when he uses it."

Max gingerly picks up the camera, looking over every detail as she does. "This is so cool, way better than the disposable cameras my parents give me." As she looks it over, Max accidentally presses the shutter. "Aghh!" She cries as the flashbulb temporarily blinds her.

"Oh man. You are such a clutz!" Chloe cackles as the developing photo is ejected.

The brunette waits a moment for the spots in her eyes to fade before taking the photo and examining it. The framing is off and crooked, but she's clearly in focus and she can make out the living room behind her. "You know, I actually kind of like it." She comments as she sets the photo on the table.

Turning around to face Chloe, Max holds the camera up to her eye, peering through the viewfinder. "Hey Chloe, strike a pose."

The blonde smiles as she plants one foot on the coffee table and balls up her fists at her hips. She glances off to the side, striking a heroic figure. "Like this?" 

"Perfect," Max grins as she lines up her shot and presses the shutter. With a click and a whir, the camera spits out the photo. Max sets it aside while it develops and walks over to Chloe's side. "Now one of both of us."

The blonde places an arm around the girl's shoulder as Max holds up the camera and tries to point it at both of them. She takes the shot and places the developing photo next to the other on the coffee table.

"Photographer and subject, nice." Chloe comments as the image becomes clear. "You've got some talent, Super Max." 

The brunette's lips curl into a bashful smile at the compliment. "I don't know. They're alright I guess. But I still have a lot to learn about taking photos."

"Well yeah, you're only thirteen. But these are seriously good Max. One day, your photos are going to be in galleries all over the world."

"That's my dream," Max says wishfully. Before grinning at her friend. "I'm gonna need a faithful companion for all my worldly adventures."

"Hell yes, Max! I'll totally be your bodyguard. I can be like Lara Croft." Chloe yells excitedly.

"Deal," Max says as she holds out her hand. The blonde slaps it before they bump fists, completing their usual handshake.

"Now come on, I wanna kick your scrawny butt in Smash." Chloe teases as she runs over and turns the TV on, grabbing the controllers for the old Gamecube.

Max sits on the couch, accepting the controller Chloe offers her. "I guess I have to remind you of how I beat you the last couple times we played."

"Only because I taught you how to use the baseball bat correctly." The older girl argues as she sits and begins navigating through the menus on the screen. "I've got a new trick up my sleeve. You're totally going down Caulfield."

For the better part of an hour, the girls laugh as they trash talk each other and fight for dominance. After almost a dozen rounds, Chloe whoops and jumps from her seat on the edge of the couch as she scores victory in their fourth tie breaker.

"I am the champion!" The blonde girl celebrates as she jumps up and down.

Despite her mild disappointment, Max can't help but smile as she watches the girl. "Okay Chloe, I concede," she giggles as she sets her controller down and stands up to stretch. "You proved yourself worthy of being my bodyguard."

"Damn right. You're totally stuck with me for life." Chloe replies.

The enthusiasm makes Max smile before remembering just how close she came to having to move away. The thought of nearly losing her best friend tugs at her heart and the smile fades. 

Noticing the change in her mood, Chloe places a hand on the younger girl's arm. "Hey. I'm not that bad am I?"

Max shakes her head. "Sorry. Just… thinking about how this could have been our last chance to hang out." The effect of her words on the blonde is immediate as the smile quickly disappears from her face as well.

They're quiet for a moment before Chloe speaks up. "That's not happening though. You're not leaving."

"I just…" Max starts, trying to push the dark thoughts out of her head before they consume her. When she speaks again, her voice is small, barely more than a whisper. "I don't know what I would have done without you Chloe." 

Chloe places a hand on her cheek and looks Max right in those big blue eyes she loves so much. "You'll never have to worry about that Max. You and me. We'll be together forever. Right?"

Taking a deep breath, Max tries to calm herself as she looks back into Chloe's eyes and nods. "Always."

The taller girl smiles at her before wrapping her arms around the brunette in a tight hug. "You're the friggin best Max." The hug lasts longer than usual, neither girl wanting to give up the other. Max feels a fuzzy warmth fill her before they finally break apart with a small giggle.

The front door opens suddenly and Chloe steps around the couch. "Dad?" She asks excitedly as she looks towards the entrance. Max follows close behind and before she can even see who it is, she knows something is wrong.

Joyce stands in the doorway like a ghost. The color has drained from her skin and her clothes are wrinkled. Her usual neat bun is almost falling apart as stray hairs hang over her face. 

"Mom, what's wrong?" Chloe asks, visibly disturbed by her mother's appearance. A police officer stands on the porch behind her. "Where's dad?"

"Oh Chloe," Joyce manages to say, her voice shakes as a tear rolls down her cheek, clearly not the first one. She takes a few tentative steps towards her daughter. "Chloe. Your father… William, he..."

When Chloe speaks again, her voice is a mix of worry and confusion that gives way to desperation. "What about dad? Where… Where is he?"

Joyce takes a few more steps until she's right in front of the young girls. "There… was an accident… with a truck… William is… he's dead Chloe." 

The world seems to go silent as Max watches her best friend stumble backwards a couple steps. She watches as Chloe's expression turns from confusion to outright shock. Her heart breaks when the young blonde loses her footing and falls to the floor. Joyce is there in an instant, wrapping her arms around her daughter. All Max can do is watch. She doesn't even notice the tears rolling down her face.

The rest of the day goes by in a haze before Max's unseeing eyes. She has no idea how long she stood there before someone asked her to help Chloe to the couch. She doesn't know how long she then sat on the couch, holding her friend as they both cried.

At some point, someone helped Chloe upstairs to her bedroom. Max lay with her for a time, the blonde girl refusing to let go of her. Eventually though, Chloe fell asleep.

The next thing she knew, Max was sitting in her home at the dinner table. She mindlessly pushed a piece of chicken around her plate with her fork, only two bites were missing. She didn't hear his words, but understood when her father told her she didn't have to eat.

The next thing she saw before her was the ceiling of her bedroom. It was dark. Something warm and soft lay over her, trying to comfort her. It made her angry but she didn't have the will to push it off.

When Max opens her eyes in the morning, the world is gray. Sound has returned to her, but with it comes a great weight pressing down on her chest. For a moment she can almost believe that yesterday was just a dream. As the fog clears from her head, the pain of loss returns. But before she can shed a tear for herself, her mind wanders to Chloe and how much more painful it must be for her best friend.

Her limbs are heavy, and for a moment, Max is content to stay in bed all day. But her need to comfort Chloe forces her to get up. She makes her way across the hall to the bathroom, washing her face before heading downstairs.

Her parents are both busy in the kitchen when she makes her way downstairs. "Hey kiddo," her dad says softly when he sees her approach the breakfast counter. "Are you feeling up for eating something?" Without a word, Max pulls out her usual stool and sits. "I'll make you some eggs," Ryan states as he turns towards the fridge.

Max watches as her mom shreds cheese over a casserole dish before sliding it into the oven. Vanessa then rinses her hands off before walking around the counter to hug her daughter. "How are you feeling sweetie?" The young girl tries to think of an answer, but shrugs when she just finds emptiness inside her. "We're making some food to take over to the Price's later. I'm sure Chloe could use some company."

"I was thinking about riding my bike over." Max replies quietly.

Vanessa gives her a small smile. "I'll tell you what. Give us a couple hours and then the three of us can go together. Okay?"

Max nods quietly and glances down at the counter. Vanessa returns to the kitchen and begins cleaning some dishes in the sink as Ryan busies himself at the stove. 

The clattering of a plate on the tile counter causes Max to jump as her father sets her breakfast in front of her. "Sorry." 

"It's okay dad, I kinda spaced out."

"Well, try to eat something."

Max gives him another quiet nod before she picks up a piece of bacon and nibbles on it. Turns out, skipping dinner the night before left her with quite an appetite as she quickly scarfs down her breakfast. Afterwards, she takes a quick shower and packs her backpack with a change of clothes.

A couple hours later, Max finds herself standing on the steps in front of Chloe's house. Her parents are busy grabbing various containers of food from the car as she stares up at the fresh blue paint covering the top half of the house. She draws in a deep breath before raising her small fist to knock on the door.

Twenty-four hours earlier, she would have instantly heard the thunder of excited footsteps. The door would have flung open before she could even lower her hand, and Chloe's bright smile would be greeting her.

Today, however, her knock is followed by a suffocating silence as her parents join her. There is no joy to greet them when the door opens to reveal a shadow. The ache in her heart throbs as Max takes in Joyce's appearance. It's as though the life has been sucked out of the once vibrant woman. Her clothes are wrinkled. Dark bags sit beneath her eyes. Her usually well kept hair sticks out from her bun in a frizzy mess.

"Hi Joyce," Vanessa starts in a quiet voice. "We brought some food for you and Chloe."

The blonde woman gives them an empty smile as she looks at each of them. "How thoughtful. That really wasn't necessary though." She adds as she steps aside and lets the Caulfields in. "Can I get you three something to drink? I can put a fresh pot of coffee on."

Joyce leads them into the kitchen so they can store the food in the fridge. "That'd be great, thank you." Ryan says as he pokes his head up from the refrigerator.

"Sure thing."

Max glances down the hallway towards the living room. Everything looks exactly as it always has. But it feels wrong, and it almost makes her sick to her stomach.

"Chloe's upstairs in her room," Joyce informs her when she notices the young brunette standing in the hall. Max snaps out of her thoughts and nods before slowly making her way up stairs. She can barely hear as the adults begin talking about preparations in hushed tones.

She takes each step agonizingly slowly as Max ascends the stairs. She doesn't know what to expect when she reaches the top. Her mind races as she tries to think of what to say to her best friend. 

She reaches the door to Chloe's room all too soon. She doesn't know what to say, so she just raises her fist and gently knocks. Without waiting for a response, she pushes the door open and peeks her head inside. "Chloe?"

The room is darker than expected. Curtains block out the midday sun that would usually light up the room. She quickly spots the blonde in question, laying on her bed.

"Max?" 

"Yeah, it's me." The brunette answers as she steps inside, closing the door quietly behind her. She shrugs her backpack off and lowers it to the ground as her friend sits up and wipes her face. Much like her mother, the emotional strain is evident in Chloe's appearance. Disheveled hair, red puffy eyes, skin lacking in color. Max recognizes the clothes the blonde had worn the day before.

"What are you doing here?" Chloe asks when Max remains by the door. Her dry throat makes her voice sound harsher than she intends.

"I uh, came to see how you're doing. I can leave… If you want me to."

"No! Please… I… I don't want to be alone."

As if the sight of her friend wasn't hard enough on Max, the desperation and pain in her voice breaks her heart. With a small nod, she walks over and sits on the edge of the bed, facing Chloe. Tears begin forming in her eyes as she tries to hold the girl's gaze. "I'm… so sorry Chloe."

Max can barely get the words out before the blonde practically lunges at her, wrapping her up in a tight hug. It takes her a moment to react and return the hug. She can feel the older girl shake a little in her arms as she fights back a sob.

"Why Max? Why did my dad have to die?"

Chloe had always been the stronger of the two. So many times, she had held herself together when Max cried from a scraped knee. Chloe was the only one that could help Max calm down when she was having a panic attack. She had always looked out for the younger girl. The first time they'd met, Chloe had saved Max from a group of bullies.

So Max wanted to be the strong one for once and help her best friend and protector. But all of her will power left her when Chloe began crying. Her own tears started to pour down her cheeks as she was again consumed with grief.

"I don't know, Chloe." 

"Please… Don't l-leave me Max." 

The two girls continued to cry as they held each other. When Vanessa checked in on them a couple hours later, they had fallen asleep, still holding one another. 

Chapter Text

October 16th 2008

The first cool breeze blows in from the sea, carrying with it the smell of salt and news of the changing seasons. It brings welcome relief from the hot sun as it beats down on the diminutive girl walking along the sidewalk. Her chestnut ponytail and pink backpack bounce to the same rhythm with every step. 

Normally, the cool breeze would excite her. It would mean her favorite time of year has finally arrived. The lush green leaves are already yellowing around the edges. And in just a few days, they’ll turn fiery shades of orange and red as well. The breeze would also soon carry notes of cinnamon and spice to tickle and delight her nose with the promise of tasty treats.

But this is no normal October breeze. The salt it carries stings her eyes and dries her mouth. It robs her of the ability to laugh and steals away all the warmth from the world. The leaves are as good as dead to her. Their beauty is but a lie to hide the decay they represent. There will be no tasty treats this year, they’ve all gone stale.

The young girl rounds the corner as she continues down the sidewalk. She hasn't looked up once since getting off the bus, she doesn't need to. You could drop her anywhere in Arcadia Bay blindfolded and she'd have no problem finding her way to her current destination. 

The breeze dies as she turns up the walkway and reaches the front door. She does her best to ignore the mismatched paint above her as she gently knocks on the door.

"Well hello Max," the old blonde lady greets her as she opens the door. She grips the straps of her backpack tighter. The words and southern drawl are so familiar, but the weight and melancholy with which they're said tugs at her heart.

"Hi Joyce. How are you?" Max asks despite already knowing the answer. It's written all over the woman's face. The persistent bags under her eyes and hairs out of place show she hasn't been sleeping well. The red puffy eyes say she still cries every night. It's only been two weeks since the funeral, so Max doesn't expect much improvement in the woman's mood.

"I'll be honest Max," Joyce starts as she lets the brunette inside and shuts the door behind them. "It's still hard. It's all I can do to keep myself together. I'm grateful Chloe has such a wonderful friend looking out for her though. She certainly needs one right now."

Max grips her arm and shuffles her feet, feeling unworthy of praise. "I haven't really done anything. I just wish there was some way I could help her."

"I know it might not seem like it now. But you're doing more than you realize. More than I can do for Chloe. I just want to see my baby smiling again."

"Me too." Max states, not sure what else to say. Joyce glances down at her watch before speaking up again.

"I have to be at the diner soon. There's some macaroni and cheese in the oven when you get hungry. Make sure Chloe eats will you?" She adds as she grabs her keys from beside the door.

"I will Joyce." 

As the door shuts behind her, Max takes a deep breath. It was already routine to hang out with Chloe after school. But their afternoons are no longer filled with fun and laughter. Most days they just end up watching TV and barely talk. On bad days, they curl up together on the bed as Chloe cries herself to exhaustion. Twice now she's found her best friend seething with anger.

She can handle the silence and the crying. Those are easy to deal with and require little more than to be there with Chloe. And while she's seen Chloe get mad before, this anger is new. She doesn't know how to deal with it. No one can apologize and make things right. There's no problem to be solved and words don't seem to help. All she can do is wait for it to pass.

It's the uncertainty of what she'll find upstairs that gives her pause. But she made a promise. And Max Caulfield never breaks a promise with Chloe Price. So she makes her way up stairs, one step at a time. 

"Chloe?" She asks as she gently knocks on the girl's door. She can hear muffled footsteps approach the door before a short pause. When it finally opens, she almost breathes a sigh of relief. The blonde's eyes are red and puffy from crying but there's no anger in them today.

"Max?! What time is it?"

"It's almost 3:30, Chloe." The brunette answers, noticing the girl is still wearing the same clothes from yesterday. "What have you been doing all day?" 

"Sleeping," Chloe shrugs as she steps aside, allowing Max to enter. The curtains are shut, making the room dark and the air smells stale.

"All day?" The brunette asks as she makes a beeline for the window on the opposite wall. The sun floods the room as soon as she throws the curtains open and pushes the window up to let in fresh air.

"I guess." Chloe mutters as she rubs the back of her neck. Max makes her way to open the other window as she continues. "I uh… couldn't sleep after you left last night. The sun was already coming up by the time I fell asleep."

Max turns to face her again and can't hide the concern on her face. It's not the first time Chloe's mentioned trouble sleeping and she's starting to worry it's becoming a trend. "Chloe..."

"Max, please. I'm fine." The blonde tries to reassure her but Max just looks at her skeptically. "Okay, maybe not fine. But, whatever. I just... couldn't fall asleep... for a while." She finishes with a sigh, her shoulders slumping before Max can walk over and hug her. It takes a moment before she's able to return the hug, squeezing her shorter friend tight.

"I'm here Chloe," Max reminds her as they separate. Chloe nods her head and the faintest hint of a smile tugs at the corner of her lips.

"I know."

"Do you also know you stink?" The brunette states, hoping her attempt at humor can tease a smile out of Chloe. The blonde lifts her left arm and sniffs, her nose wrinkling as she does. It's not a smile but Max still sees it as progress.

"Okay mom , maybe I should take a shower." She glances around at the mess in her room, clothes thrown on the ground everywhere. "Help me find some clean-ish clothes."

"I'm on the hunt," Max says cheerfully before making her way towards the closet. Luckily there's still some shirts hanging. She grabs one and then hands it to Chloe who pulls a pair of jeans out of a hamper, giving them a quick sniff to ensure they're clean.

While Chloe steps out to take her shower, Max attempts to clean up the room, tossing the dirty clothes into the hamper before carrying it down to the garage. She starts picking up and throwing away the trash laying around and manages to get the room looking more like it's usual chaotic self by the time Chloe returns.

The blonde pauses while drying her hair as she looks around. "Max you didn't have to-" she starts before the brunette raises her hand to stop her.

"I know. I wanted to though."

Chloe studies the girl for a moment before she hangs the damp towel in her closet. She crosses over and sits down on the edge of her bed as Max joins her. 

"I um, brought you more assignments." The brunette says hesitantly.

"More to add to the pile." Chloe sighs, pointing to the pile of papers on her desk. 

"Do you think you'll return to school soon?"

Chloe groans and lays back on the bed, dangling her feet over the side. "Mom was bitching about it last night. She wants me to go back on Monday. I could care less though." Max lays down on her side, facing the blonde. "What's the point when you can just... die without warning?"

Max cringes at the darkness creeping into her voice. I was hoping today would be better. "You can't just give up Chloe."

"Why not?!" The older girl asks, raising her voice as she sits up again. "Why can't I Max?!"

"Your dad wouldn't want you to-" the brunette starts as she sits up before being interrupted.

"My dad's dead Max!" Chloe shouts, thrusting herself off the bed and causing the other girl to flinch at her explosive anger. "It doesn't matter what he would or wouldn't want me to do. He's fucking dead!" 

Max's eyes begin to water as her voice wavers. "I know Chloe… I'm sorry."

Chloe turns to face her and the anger on her face vanishes as she sees the tears forming in Max's eyes. She slumps down on the bed again with a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry." She whispers to the other girl. "I didn't mean to take it out on you. I just..."

"It's okay Chloe." Max takes a deep breath, and blinks away the tears. "I can't imagine what you're going through right now." 

Turning her head, Chloe meets the brunette's eyes, studying them for a moment. "You know what's fucked up? Sometimes it feels like any moment… he's going to walk through that door… And this will all have been just a dream." She pauses for a moment, a single tear running down her cheek. "It's like I'm waiting for him to come home… but he never will."

Max places a comforting hand on her back as Chloe sobs. "Why did dad have to die Max?... Why?"

Tears begin to run down her face as Max watches her cry. "I don't know Chloe," she mutters before wrapping an arm around the blonde's shoulder and leaning into her. "I don't know."

October 20th 2008

This is so pointless. Chloe thinks to herself as she watches the trees pass by through the car window. Well, she wasn’t really watching the trees; they simply happened to be in the direction she was looking while spacing out. What with their stupid bright colors and their signalling of the change in seasons. Watching the trees is more Max’s thing.

Dad always loved the fall colors too. She shuts her eyes as a memory of William comes to mind. He had driven Max and herself to the lighthouse to see the first leaves turn in anticipation of autumn. They hiked all the way up the trail as William and Max talked excitedly among themselves. He had brought his camera along and was teaching the young brunette how to work the ancient device.

Chloe wipes away the tear that was trying to escape her eye and turns to look out the front of the car. With a deep breath, she pushes the memory away and tries to calm the storm of emotions brewing within her. The last thing she wants is to start breaking down while at school.

The brakes of the old Honda squeal as Joyce pulls up in front of Bay Junior High. “Alright Chloe,” she starts as she turns towards her daughter. “Try to have a good day. I picked up a double shift at the diner so I’ll be home late. The Caulfields will be expecting you for dinner tonight.”

Without a word or even a glance, Chloe grabs her bag from between her feet and pushes the door open. She barely registers what her mom says as she gets out and shuts the door behind her. Taking a few steps, she scans around the front of the school. She notices a few students looking in her direction with unreadable expressions. Ignoring them, she continues to  scan until she locks eyes with a short girl walking towards her, her dark brown hair tied up in her trademark ponytail. 

“Good morning, Chloe.” Max says with a small smile as she approaches, her pink backpack weighing heavily on her slim shoulders, making her look even smaller. Chloe feels the smallest flutter in her stomach at the sight of the only person capable of improving her mood.

“S’up Max,” the older girl replies, lacking her usual excitement.

The brunette crosses an arm over her chest and grips her elbow. Something she had begun doing recently that Chloe realizes is a nervous tick. “How are you?” Max asks, the concern obvious in her voice.

The blonde just shrugs before answering. “I don’t want to be here. But, mom forced me to come.”

“Well… maybe returning to school will help.” 

Chloe starts to roll her eyes, but stops herself. Max doesn’t deserve your shit.  She huffs and shakes her head instead. “Doubt it. Honestly, it feels pretty pointless right now.” Max lowers her head, making herself even smaller. “Sorry, I just…”

“I know,” the brunette states before looking up to meet the girl’s tired eyes. “I’m here for you Chlo.”

The ghost of a smile futilely tugs at her lips as she reaches out to hug the younger girl. “Thanks,” she whispers as Max returns the hug for a brief moment before they pull away.

A bell rings out over the school grounds, signaling classes are about to start. Immediately, students all over the courtyard begin making their way towards the entrance. “Damn, I’ll see you at lunch Chloe.”

“Yeah,” Chloe replies plainly as Max turns towards the far entrance where the seventh grade classrooms are located. The blonde doesn’t move for a moment as she watches the last of the students file through the entrance. With a heavy sigh, she shrugs her backpack and starts walking towards her classroom.

The final bell rings just as she pushes the door open. Instantly, all eyes are on her. She’s  used to catching the attention of the entire class, usually when she makes a smartass reply that makes the other students laugh. This is something entirely different however.

No one laughs. The teacher doesn’t give her a condescending remark. Everyone is silent. No one smiles as their eyes fixate on her.

Yeah, let’s all stare at the girl with the dead dad.

Finally, the teacher at the head of the classroom clears his throat, snapping everyone out of their trance. “Welcome back Chloe. We’ve all missed you.” His voice is kind and warm but doesn’t ease the tension from being the center of unwanted attention.

Chloe quietly makes her way to her usual desk at the back along the windows. As she drops her backpack on the ground and slumps into the chair, she’s grateful to be somewhat isolated. No one can look at her without turning around.

“Now everyone, open your books to chapter 7 where we’ll begin learning about the Reconstruction Era following the Civil War. Chloe, just do your best to follow along.”

Chloe pulls her history book out of her bag and flips through it to make it appear as though she’s trying to pay attention to the lecture. It doesn’t take long before Mr. Butler’s voice becomes little more than background noise. She glances out the window on her right. Those damned yellow and red leaves crying out for her attention.

The sound of the bell jolts Chloe awake. She wipes away the small dribble of drool from the corner of her mouth as she glances around the room. Realizing everyone else is packing up to leave for their next class, she closes her book and dumps it in her backpack. A familiar voice catches her attention as she stands up.

“Hey Chloe. How are you doing?”

She turns to meet the gaze of the boy that had been sitting in front of her. “Hi Elliot. Everything’s fucking peachy,” she answers as she swings her bag over one shoulder.

The blonde haired boy winces at the slight barb in the girl’s voice. “Sorry, I guess that was a dumb question.”

Feeling a little bad, Chloe gives him an apologetic look. “It’s fine. Just not really in the mood to be here.” 

She turns to make her way towards the door as Elliot follows. “I can’t imagine what you’ve had to go through the last few weeks.” He moves to walk beside her as they enter the hall. “You know I’m always here if you need to talk or anything.”

“I’m not really in the talking mood.”

“Sure, of course. If you want, you could come over to my house after school today. We could watch that new mecha anime.”

Dude, what part of ‘don’t want to talk’ do you not understand? “Max’s parents are expecting me tonight.” Chloe states in a bored voice, hoping to end the conversation quickly. Again, she notices several students giving her strange looks as they walk. This is getting really annoying.

“Oh? I thought they were moving out of state.”

Chloe shakes her head as they round a corner and head towards the eighth grade science classroom. “Plans changed.”

“Well, that’s cool. I guess.”

The dismissive tone in his voice pulls at her last nerve and she stops, turning to face him. “Yeah, it’s really fucking cool my dad died and I almost lost my best friend.” She snaps at the boy.

Elliot recoils, raising his hands to calm her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Whatever,” Chloe mutters as she continues down the hall and enters the science room. Again she takes a seat in the back corner and does her best to space out.

The looks continue to follow her through the next class as well but to her relief, Elliot doesn’t make much effort to engage her again. She’s about ready to punch the next person that looks at her wrong by the time the lunch bell rings. She reluctantly makes her way to the cafeteria but her mood improves a little when she spots Max waiting for her near the back of the lunch line.

The brunette smiles at her but drops it as she picks up on Chloe’s mood. “Did something happen?” 

The ease with which Max can read her relaxes the frown on her face as they get in line together. “People keep giving me these weird looks, like I’m some kind of freak. And Elliot just got on my nerves.”

Max put a comforting hand on the blonde’s elbow and met her gaze as they moved up the line. “You’re not a freak Chloe. They’re probably just concerned but don’t know what to say.”

“Then they should just mind their own damn business. Why does everybody in this town have to know?”

“That’s just how Arcadia Bay is. I know it sucks, but I’m sure they’ll stop soon.” 

They moved through the line in relative silence until they made it to the front. With trays in hand, they decide to skip their usual table in favor of something more secluded. Chloe barely picks at the burnt chicken nuggets and soggy french fries. Her appetite still isn’t what it once was and the morning’s events haven’t helped it.

To her credit, Max is able to get Chloe talking about mundane topics. Even if her heart isn’t quite in it, the brunette considers it progress. Chloe pushes her tray of half-eaten food aside after a few minutes. For a moment, she feels content to listen as Max tells her about the book she’s reading in her English class.

“Look who we have here,” a snarky voice comes from out of sight to Chloe’s left. “It’s dead dad and the quiet freak.

The two girls look to see three boys walking towards them. Chloe cusses under her breath as she recognizes the preppy rich kid leading the other two. Not willing to give them any kind of advantage, Chloe stands to her full height and turns towards the boys, placing herself between them and Max protectively.

“Fuck off Nathan. Go pick on someone your own size shrimp.” 

The boy scowls as he meets her face to face. Chloe’s grateful she hit a growth spurt early as she stands a few inches taller than her would-be bully. He chooses to ignore the insult as he speaks. “You know, I heard you were in the car when your daddy died and it was your fault he ran a red light.”

Chloe grits her teeth and clenches her fist as Max tugs at her arm. “Come on Chloe, let’s just leave.”

“I was at home; it was that drunk trucker that fell asleep at the wheel and ran a red light.”

“How would you know if you weren’t there like you say?”

Chloe practically growls in the boy’s face as Max again tugs at her arm. “You’re such a jerk Nathan. Leave us alone.” The young brunette pleads.

“What’s this? The freak has some bark today.” Nathan sneers as he tries to step around Chloe.

The older girl moves to block him, getting right in his face. Her blood boiling in her veins as she prepares to fight. “Don’t fucking call her that!”

“Or what?” 

“Chloe, please. Let’s just go.”

“Better listen to your girlfriend , Kari.” Nathan taunts. “The crybaby knows better than y-”

The boy is cut off mid sentence as Chloe’s left fist collides with the side of his face. Nathan stumbles a couple steps before colliding with one of the other boys. The two of them drop to the ground in a heap as the third watches on in shock. Chloe lunges at Nathan with a yell, preparing to hit him again but finds herself unable to reach him as a small pair of hands wraps around her.

Fear twists Nathan’s face as Chloe struggles to reach him. She can’t hear the shouts from other students and teachers as she swings her fist again and misses. Another, much larger and stronger pair of hands are soon on her shoulders as a nearby custodian reaches them first. The burly man is able to pull her away from the boy but she continues to thrash until a small sob reaches her ears.

“C-Chloe… stop, please.” Max begs through the tears streaming down her face. The sound freezes the blonde girl in place, allowing the custodian to relax his grip as she slumps back and looks towards her friend.

“Are you alright?” The man says, offering a hand to Chloe. She stands without taking it as a couple teachers help the boys off the ground. One, a tall, lanky man with a graying beard she recognizes as the Vice Principal, steps into the middle of the gathered crowd.

“Alright, what’s going on?” He asks as he glances between the two girls and the boys.

The burly custodian is the first to answer as he points a finger at Nathan. “The Prescott boy and his friends started hassling these two girls. I was walking over to intervene when the blonde girl struck him, knocking him into the other boy. The brunette was able to keep her from hitting him again before I reached them.”

The Vice Principal nods. “Thanks Paul. Alright, Prescott, Price, both of you come with me.”

Chloe meets Max’s teary eyes and gives her a weak smile before following the V.P. 

Half an hour later, Chloe is sitting in a hard plastic chair just outside the Principal’s office, waiting. Her backpack is on the ground beside her feet as she holds a plastic bag of mostly melted ice to her bruised knuckles. Nathan had already been sent off to class with little more than a few stern words about being nice to fellow students.

Finally the door opens and Joyce steps out. “Don’t worry Mr. Cohen, I’ll be sure she understands her behavior is not to be tolerated before she returns tomorrow.” she closes the door softly behind her before turning to glare at her daughter. The younger blonde meets her gaze with indifference for a moment before Joyce sighs and turns to leave. “Come on young lady,” she says in her motherly way that shows she’s furious.

Chloe quietly picks up her backpack, slinging it over one shoulder as she follows her mother out to the car. Neither says another word until they’re sitting in the car and Joyce lets out a tired sigh.

“Really Chloe?! You couldn’t even get through one day?” The younger Price turns her head towards the window, trying to avoid her mother’s wrath. “You’ve already missed too much school as it is. They’re close to holding you back from attending Blackwell Academy next year and making you repeat the eighth grade. Do you want that?”

Chloe refuses to answer or look her in the eye.

“I know it’s been hard since your father… passed. But you can’t be doing this Chloe. It’s not fair and lord knows you’re too young to have to deal with this. But you have to step up and start acting like an adult now. I know you like to stand up for Max, but you can’t keep getting in fights for her. You need to find a better way that doesn’t involve violence.”

Joyce continues to stare at her daughter, waiting for a sign that what she’s saying is sinking in. When none is forthcoming, she faces forward and starts the car. “I have to get back to work so I can continue to provide for us, and I don’t have time to drop you off at home. So you’re going to sit yourself in a booth and think about how you can do better.”

Without responding, Chloe slumps down further in her seat until her head rests against the window.

A sudden swat on her leg wakes Chloe as she lies on the worn bench of the corner booth. The smells of the Two Whales diner waft into her nose as she stirs.

“Sit up Chloe, you have a dinner guest.” Her mother’s voice gets her to open her eyes, the fluorescent light temporarily blinding her as her pupils adjust. She sits up with a groan before noticing a familiar head of brown hair sitting on the opposite bench.

“Max? What are you doing here?” Chloe asks, her face lighting up at the sight of the other girl.

“Hey, Chloe. Your mom called and my dad dropped me off.”

The blonde girl turns to give her mom a quizzical look. “I thought I was grounded.”

Joyce returns her look with a soft knowing smile. “While your head certainly wasn’t in the right place, your heart was. And Max said she felt responsible for what happened. I couldn’t let that stand.” She pauses to look between the two before continuing. “Now for the important part: what do you girls want to eat?”

“Cheeseburger,” Chloe blurts out.

“Same,” Max adds with a small giggle.

“Alright, now try to keep it down so you don’t bother the other customers.” The older Price says before turning towards the kitchen.

“I’m sorry Chloe,” Max says as soon as they’re alone in their own little world in the corner of the diner.

Chloe’s brow furrows in confusion. “Why?”

With a pout, the brunette slumps back into the bench. “You always end up getting in trouble because of me.”

The blonde girl waves off the comment. “Dude, Nathan had it coming, and he started insulting me first.”

“But you only end up in fights when you’re protecting me.”

“So? I’m the Captain and you’re my First Mate. Plus, I’m older, so it’s my responsibility to protect you.” 

“But…”

“No buts, Maximus.” Chloe interrupts, catching the girl's gaze for a second. “This isn’t a one-way street you know.”

“I know,” Max starts, “I need to start helping you more.”

Chloe shakes her head. “No Max, that's not what I mean.” a strange tightness grips her chest as she looks into the other girl's eyes. Deep blue oceans reflecting back bright blue sapphires. “You’re my best friend. I’d be lost right now without you. I’ll always be better with you than without. You’re gonna do amazing things one day, Super Max. Beating up a few bullies is the least I can do for you.”

“Chloe…” Max whispers, too choked up to speak.

“Hey, keep that up and mom will give us milkshakes for dessert.” Chloe says with a crooked grin, causing the other girl to laugh, a sound she can never get tired of.

October 23rd 2008

9:02AM

Max: Hey Chloe

Max: Didn’t see you this morning

Max: Meet at lunch?

12:17PM

Max: Did you stay home today?

1:34PM

Max: Sorry for being annoying

Max: I’m just worried ;(

3:32PM

Max: I’m coming over

1:47AM

Chloe: I’m sorry

1:53AM

Chloe: You didn’t deserve that

Chloe: I just

2:04AM

Chloe: I didn’t mean to get angry

Chloe: I know you’re just trying to help

Chloe: I’m sorry Max

2:06AM

Max: It’s okay Chloe

Max: I know you didn’t mean it

Chloe: Sorry for waking you

Chloe: Go back to sleep

Chloe: I’ll see you tomorrow

Max: I’m calling you

3:21AM

Chloe: You’re the best Max

Max: Good night Chloe :)

Chapter Text

November 3rd 2008

Hey diary, 

So cliche, I know. I really need to think of another way to start these entries. Anyways, Halloween just wasn’t the same this year. Not like anything else has been the same since William… I kind of feel bad that Chloe and I didn’t let him go trick or treating with us last year now. He used to get so excited about dressing up with us. I know he was disappointed last year, but Chloe felt we were too old for her dad to tag along. Now I wish she could have had one last Halloween memory with him.

I still went over to Chloe’s, but we didn’t dress up this year. Joyce still bought us a bag of candy but we hardly touched it. Just had pizza and watched some old horror movies. I know Chloe’s always liked them, but they still scare me. At least she didn’t want to watch anything too gory.

I thought Chloe was starting to do better. But I think the reality of spending her first holiday without him hit her hard. She didn’t talk as much through the movies as she normally would. I don’t think she was even really watching them.

I keep trying to come up with ways to help her out. But I haven’t really come up with anything. She says just having me around helps, but I don’t see how. 

Chloe skipped school again today. I can’t blame her. I haven’t felt very motivated to study lately (not like I’ve ever been). I’m sure it must be much worse for her. I’m worried though. She’s almost missed a month’s worth of classes. How much more can she miss before they hold her back.

November 11th 2008

The air has turned decidedly chilly the last couple weeks. Not that Max minds it much. She revels in layering up and getting to sit around the house wrapped in her favorite blanket. A few more weeks and there might even be snow. She still has a score to settle with Chloe from their last snowball fight.

Which brings her back to the present, standing on a familiar street corner where she usually meets Chloe on their walks to school. She arrived early as usual, which is slightly annoying since Chloe has been late in meeting her everyday since she’s returned to school. 

She shuffles on her feet and fidgets as she waits. The chatter of squirrels playing in a nearby tree catches her attention for a moment as she watches them scurry about. When she looks back down the street to her right, she spots a familiar head of blonde hair. Max smiles as the girl approaches.

“Morning Chloe,” she tries in a cheerful voice.

“Hey,” the blonde replies with far less cheer.

With hardly another word, they continue walking towards their destination. As always, Max attempts to come up with things to say to make Chloe feel better. But she can sense something’s off with her friend today.

They’re only a couple blocks from the school when Chloe suddenly stops. Max turns to give her a questioning glance when she speaks up.

“Let’s ditch.”

The brunette blinks, wondering if she’d misheard. “What?”

“I don’t want to go to school today.” There’s a note of trepidation in her voice that Max can’t understand.

“We can’t just not go, Chloe.”

“Why not?” the blonde asks, as if it was obvious.

“We’ll get in trouble,” Max argues.

Chloe shrugs. “What are they going to do? Suspend us? Just means we get another day off.”

Max reaches a hand up and grips her elbow. “I don’t know… I’ve never ditched before.”

“Which is exactly why you should Max.” Chloe grins a little, leaning a bit to meet the brunette’s gaze. “C’mon, everyone pretty much gives me a free pass these days. And you never get in trouble so they’ll just give you a warning.”

The young brunette actually considers the proposition for a brief moment before answering. “The school might not punish us but that doesn’t mean our parents won’t.”

Chloe’s temporary grin disappears as a light scowl takes its place. “Joyce is working all the time, she probably won’t even notice.” Max finds it weird Chloe just referred to her mom using her name, but doesn’t have time to dwell on it. “And you can just tell your parents that I forced you to come with me.”

“I… I don’t know.” Max fidgets more, her brow creasing as she looks away, fighting with her better judgment.

“Please Max.” Chloe tries to meet her gaze again, placing an arm on the younger girl’s shoulder. “I can’t take another day of everyone looking at me like I might break if they get too close and teachers who don’t know how to talk to me. It’s like nobody knows how to deal with the girl with the dead dad.” Her voice grows more bitter as she speaks.

Including me. Max thinks the words to herself she knows Chloe won’t say. She worries her lip for a moment, contemplating. On one hand, she knows they’ll get in trouble if they ditch, despite Chloe’s insistence to the contrary. On the other hand however, she can see how Chloe is suffering. She’s noticed the looks some of the other kids and teachers give her, like people are actually afraid to just talk to her.

She meets the blonde’s eyes again and sighs, resigning herself to whatever fate may await them. “Okay.”

Chloe’s eyes light up and the pleading scowl on her face softens. She pulls the brunette in for a hug. “Thanks Max,” she whispers as she releases the other girl. “Now let’s get out of here. I know just where to head.” Chloe takes Max’s hand in her own and turns in the opposite direction of their school, setting them on a path that will take them towards the shore.

“Okay, so maybe it would have been better if we had our bikes.” Chloe huffs. Half an hour of walking halfway across town has finally landed them at the path leading up to the lighthouse. 

“We should have planned this out better and left our textbooks at home.” Max says nearly panting after the last half mile of uphill hiking. 

“My bad,” Chloe offers, holding a hand up in apology, before slinging her backpack off her shoulder. “Here, I didn’t bring mine, so I’ll carry them for you.”

Max hesitates before her lips twitch in a small smile as she relieves her shoulders of some of the weight. “Thanks Chlo.”

“No probs,” Chloe says as she transfers most of the weight into her own bag. “You’ve always been kind of a weakling anyways.” She teases. Max is about to protest but Chloe interrupts before she can say anything. “But that’s why you have me around, remember?”

“That’s not the only reason,” The brunette mutters before lifting her backpack onto her shoulders. “Now, where to, Captain?”

“This way,” Chloe answers as she walks past the path up the hill and walks into the woods beyond the small dirt lot.

They continue making their way through the woods for the next ten minutes. Though they’ve spent countless days exploring the woods around their small town, Max has no idea where she’s being led and she’s starting to worry about getting lost. 

“Chloe, you’re not just trying to get us lost are you?” She calls to the older girl ten feet ahead of her.

“Have a little faith, Maximus. This is a shortcut.”

The brunette groans as memories of other ‘shortcuts’ Chloe’s come up with flood her mind, her track record isn’t great. “Are you sure you know where we’re going?”

“Yes,” the blonde calls back with a hint of frustration. “We’re nearly there.”

Much to Max’s relief, a few minutes later they step into a familiar clearing. It’s not very large, just enough to allow a small pool of unfiltered sunlight to collect on the ground. As Max glances to the opposite side of the clearing, a wave of nostalgia washes over her. An especially thick tree with low, sturdy branches stands proudly among smaller, younger trees. A series of wood planks nailed into the trunk lead a dozen feet up into a decently sized treehouse.

“Our old fort,” Chloe proclaims as she holds her arms out as if presenting it to the other girl.

“Is it even safe?” Max questions as she looks over the old wood. It’s been a couple years since they’ve journeyed out here to play in the fort their fathers built for them, but the wood didn’t appear to be rotting.

“Looks pretty safe to me,” the blonde comments before crossing the clearing.

Without even hesitating, Chloe begins climbing up the makeshift ladder. Within a few quick seconds, she reaches the top, lifting herself up onto the wood plank floor. Max watches on, nervously worrying her lip until Chloe sticks her head out the window.

“Come on, It’s totally fine.”

Max shrugs her shoulders, settling her backpack as she steals herself to make the climb. After the first couple steps hold steady, her fear of falling lessens and she makes her way up. Chloe offers her a hand when she reaches the top and pulls up onto the floor of their fort. The wood looks a little weathered but steady nonetheless. 

As she stands up, she glances around the small makeshift room. The plywood ceiling, only a couple inches above her own head, is low enough to cause the blonde to hunch in order to stand. Large openings on three of the walls serve as windows, allowing plenty of sunlight while still leaving them mostly in the shade. Some forgotten pillows and blankets lay scattered about the floor. Chloe reaches down to pick one up, giving it a sniff before recoiling a bit and tossing it aside.

“Okay, so it’s not very glamorous.” She starts as she arranges the pillows and blankets to create a comfortable place for them to sit. “But it’ll do.” With her backpack already discarded in the opposite corner, Chloe flops down on the makeshift couch with a huff.

Max quickly follows suit, stowing her bag next to Chloe’s before joining the girl. “Charming,” She offers with a chuckle. The cushion kicks up a little dust as she sits, and it smells a bit musty, but at least it’s comfortable.

The girls sit quietly for a time before the blonde speaks up. “I love it here. Everything feels so far away.”

“Yeah,” Max agrees. She pulls her phone out of her pocket, expecting a call or text from her parents asking about her absence, but instead it just displays a ‘no signal’ message. She slips the small device back into her pocket and returns to listening to the sounds of the forest.

After a few minutes, Chloe slumps over a bit, leaning into the brunette’s side. Max looks down at her friend, noticing her closed eyes and wonders if she’s fallen asleep until she starts talking again.

“Things used to be so simple.” Not really knowing what to say, Max rests her head against the blondes. “Everything just feels like shit now. I just want to get away from it all.”

Max can feel her heart breaking every time Chloe gets in one of these moods, which of course is all the time now. “It’ll get better Chloe,” She states lamely. What did she really know at thirteen? She’s never known anyone that’s died before and she felt wholly unqualified to make her friend feel better.

“Sure,” The blonde answers flatly, not believing her. 

Silence falls between them. It takes a while before Max notices Chloe’s breathing becomes shallow and her head droops a little. Not wanting to disturb her friend, she closes her eyes and focuses on the sound of leaves rustling in the branches around them.

“Considering Maxine’s record of good behavior, I’ll only be assigning her three days of detention after school for one hour.” The slightly distorted voice of Max’s Vice Principal speaks through the speaker of the Caulfield’s answering machine. The girl in question sits at the dining table with her head down as her father sits across from her and her mother stands next to the counter that separates the dining room and kitchen. “Mrs. Kent will be expecting her in room 203 no later than 2:35. Should Maxine happen to be late or skip detention she will face further discipline.”

Vanessa hits the stop button on the machine and sighs, massaging her temples. Max refuses to lift her head but she can feel her parent’s disapproving gaze upon her. Their silence becoming suffocating the longer it drags out.

Finally her father sighs but his voice is warmer than Max expects. “I just want to know why? You’ve never ditched school before.”

“Did Chloe talk you into it?” Vanessa adds in a much harsher tone.

“I-I didn’t want to leave her alone.” Max answers, wringing her hands together under the table.

“Of course,” her mother scoffs in frustration. “She’s always gotten you into trouble. Joyce told me about her fight with Nathan.”

“Nathan started that,” Max speaks up, coming to Chloe’s defense. “She only hit him because he began calling me a freak and-”

“Exactly my point.” Vanessa cuts her daughter off. “You always get dragged into whatever trouble Chloe gets herself in.”

“Vanessa,” Ryan interrupts, signaling her to calm down before turning his attention back to Max. “Your mother’s not wrong. You do often get into trouble when you’re with Chloe. Now I’m not blaming Chloe, you’re your own person Max. And that means you can influence her actions just as she influences yours. I understand Chloe’s going through a hard time and you just wanted to help her. But you have to make better decisions.”

Vanessa’s expression softens a little as she sits down next to her husband. “You can’t just go along with her if Chloe decides to skip school.” She pauses for a moment to let their words sink in before continuing. “You’re grounded for one week. No going over to Chloe’s after school, you come straight home after detention. And she’s not allowed to come over here.”

Max opens her mouth to protest but her father speaks up first. “It’ll do you both some good to have some time apart. I’ve noticed Chloe’s constant bad mood has been wearing on you. And she needs time to herself to grieve.”

Max simply nods and hangs her head again before her mother speaks up. “Now go finish your homework. We’ll call you down when dinner is ready.” And with that, the young brunette somberly pushes her chair back and makes her way upstairs to her bedroom.

Not a week goes by when Ryan is searching the cupboards for a late night snack. The house is perfectly quiet and dark except for the stove light. He finally locates his secret stash of cookies on the top shelf behind their emergency spam and beans. With his treat in hand, Ryan makes his way to the counter just under the kitchen window. He’s only taken one bite before he notices the bushes outside the window rustling. A hushed curse alerts him to the culprit.

Shoving the last of his cookie into his mouth, Ryan quietly makes his way upstairs. With slow careful steps, he walks down the hallway towards his daughter’s door. The burly man stops with his ear pressed against the door to listen. He’s just in time to hear a window sliding open and whispered words.

“C-Chloe?” Max asks, the surprise barely evident in her sleep laden voice. “What are you doing here? What time is it?”

“It’s like 1:30,” Chloe’s barely audible voice is muffled further by the door. 

“I’m still grounded, if my parents wake up and find out you’re here we’ll both be in trouble.”

“I… I keep dreaming about being in the car with my dad when he…” The pain in the young blonde’s voice is evident, even through the door. “Look, I promise to be super quiet and I’ll sneak back out before your parents wake up. I just… Mom’s working overnight, and I can’t be alone in that house tonight.”

“Oh Chloe…”

Ryan hears the window close followed by quiet rustling. He smiles to himself and steps away from the door, making his way back to his own bedroom. 

Vanessa stirs as Ryan climbs back into bed. “Where’d you go?”

“Just needed a glass of water,” he lies to his sleeping wife.

“Sure you weren’t stuffing your face with the cookies on the top shelf of the cupboard?”

“How’d you…?” He asks, realizing he’s been busted.

“I know everything that goes on in this house.” Vanessa answers confidently, rolling over to go back to sleep.

Almost everything, Ryan thinks to himself with a knowing smirk.

Chapter Text

February 6th, 2009

Hey Diary,

I know, one day I’ll come up with something better. Do I really have to address you anyways? I mean, who else would I be writing this to?

Anyways. The new year has been kind of a bummer. The holidays just didn’t feel very cheerful and things haven’t improved much. I don’t think I realized just how much William’s goofiness lit up our lives.

I know it’s been so much harder for Chloe though. I don’t think I’ve seen her truly happy since that day…

It’s gotten harder to be around her. Her mood swings are harder to predict and she gets angry easily. I’m ashamed to say we haven’t hung out much lately. Our last sleep-over was New Years. 

I don’t know what to do for her anymore-

Max’s writing is interrupted by the sound of knocking on her bedroom door. She quickly shuts her diary and drops her pen before getting up to answer the door.

“Hey sweetie,” Her father answers as soon as she opens the door. 

“Hey dad, what’s up?”

“Your mom got a little held up at work so I’m gonna order us a pizza. Just wanted to check if Chloe would be joining or if you were planning on going over to her house.”

At the mention of her friend, Max’s face immediately sank. “Um, no, Chloe isn’t coming over.”

Ryan picked up on his daughter’s sullen mood. “Mind if I come in for a moment?” The young brunette quietly shook her head and stepped aside, moving to sit on the edge of her bed. Her father follows, sitting down next to Max. His voice was soft and steady when he talks “Is everything alright between you two? I’ve noticed you haven’t spent much time together outside of school lately.” 

“Everything’s fine. I-it’s just…”

“Difficult?” He finishes for her, receiving a timid nod as Max lowers her head. “I can certainly understand how you feel. You’re both too young to have to go through such a loss. I’m sure it’s been especially hard on Chloe.”

“She doesn’t talk about it much anymore. But she doesn’t show interest in things like she used to.” Max says, her voice wavering slightly. “It feels like she’s drifting away.”

“So you’ve been spending less and less time with her since you don’t know how to help or even do things with her anymore?” Max simply nods. “You know, when I was a little older than you, I had a best friend that I'd known for years. When we started high school though, he started to change, lost interest in some of the things we had in common, and started making new friends.

“It took a few months, but we started hanging out less and less. He got onto the baseball team and cars. I became more interested in music and computers when our school got a grant to buy a couple to start teaching students how to use them. Believe it or not, but I didn’t know anybody with a computer when I was your age.” The comment got a little laugh out of the girl before he continued.

“Anyways, by the end of my freshman year, I’d completely stopped talking to my friend. I’d made other friends with similar interests and was spending more time with them instead.” Ryan paused for a moment, just looking at his daughter. “As you get older, you’ll find that sometimes you just fall out of touch with friends. It’s just a part of life and it could easily happen to you and Chloe.

“Now, I’m not saying that to make you feel bad. The point of my story is, relationships take work. Be it a friendship, family,” Ryan leaned down and smirked at his daughter before adding in a teasing voice, “or a boyfriend.” 

“Ugh, dad!” Max scoffed as her cheeks blushed slightly, earning a hardy chuckle out of her father.

“Well you are at that age. It’s perfectly okay to be curious.” The young brunette groaned loudly. “Okay, I’ll tease you about boys… or girls, some other time. What I wanted to say is that my friendship ended because neither of us put in the effort to keep it going. We still shared some interests and friends, but we stopped trying.”

He paused again to let his word sink in a bit. “If you truly care about Chloe and want to keep her as your best friend, then you need to be willing to put the work into maintaining that friendship. Now if it’s just one-sided that’s no good, you need to look out for yourself too and one person alone can’t make a friendship last. I’m sure it’ll get easier for her to move on in time, and being around her will become easy again. So don’t give up on her yet.”

They sat in silence for a moment as Max went over her feelings and her father’s words before he spoke up again. “So what do you say you give Chloe a call and see if she wants to come spend the night. Then we can go get some pizza and ice cream and pick her up on our way home.”

Max’s face cracked into a small smile as she nodded. “Okay.”

The light tapping of raindrops hitting the window above her head causes Chloe to stir slightly. She rolls over onto her side, attempting to go back to sleep. However, a rather rude light stabs at her eyes, fighting for attention. The blonde girl gives in and opens her eyes, noticing the blinking light of her phone charging. She gives the device a scowl and returns to lying on her back. 

Wide eyes stare up at a ceiling she knows just as well as her own as thoughts race through her mind, the fading echoes of her dreams. It’s the sign of another sleepless night for Chloe as she lies awake, wishing herself to sleep.

The seconds tick by at a maddeningly slow pace. A deafening silence drags her mind to the darkest corners of her strained psyche. Her thoughts have no rhyme or reason, no structure to follow as she tries to stop each one when they pop up. She knows just where they’ll lead her if she lets them run their course, so she tries to draw shapes in her mind on the popcorn ceiling.

Chloe knows exactly how many minutes have passed when she rolls over to her right side, seeking a different kind of distraction. Her chestnut haired friend lies facing her, sleeping peacefully. Chloe envies the younger girl’s ability to simply sleep through the night.

The call she’d received earlier that evening had truthfully been a bit of a surprise. For the least few years hardly a weekend went by without either Chloe or Max staying at one or the other’s house. In fact they’d occasionally had sleepovers during the week as well.

It’s been over a month since their last.

Maybe she’s finally had enough of my shit. Chloe thinks to herself, and not for the first time. Why would she want to hang around me when all I do is bring her down? She’d be better off finding new friends.

The thought of Max making new friends and losing contact with Chloe makes her stomach sink. She shuts her eyes tight, fighting back the tears that are threatening to form. The bed shifts under her weight as she rolls over and swings her legs over the edge. The blonde sits hunching over, hugging herself tight as a suppressed sob racks her body.

“Chloe?” Max’s sleep heavy voice asks as the brunette pushes herself up on her elbow. The sound causes the older girl to freeze. “Are you okay?”

The blonde lets out a slow breath, trying to steady herself as she breathes a quiet “yeah. Just can’t sleep,” she answers, refusing to turn around. Unfortunately, she isn’t able to hide the quiver in her voice.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Chloe replies, her voice sounding harsher than she intends. “Just go back to sleep Max.” She feels the mattress shift as the brunette moves to sit down next to her. They sit in silence for a moment before Chloe sighs. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about.”

“Yes, I do.” Chloe sighs, turning her head to meet the other girl’s eyes. She can just make out her features with the street light coming through the window. Max’s long hair out of its usual ponytail, hanging over her shoulders, frames her face in a way that makes the blonde’s chest tighten. It’s a sensation that’s becoming more and more common when she is around her best friend. She bites back the feeling and lowers her head again. “All I do is dump my shit on you lately. Aren’t you sick of me?”

“W-what? No, of course not Chloe. You’re my best friend.” 

“Sure Max, that’s why you’ve been so distant lately. Not that I could blame you really.” 

“I…” The brunette doesn’t quite know how to respond. The entire time she thought it was Chloe that was shutting her out. She can’t think of what to say before the blonde continues.

“Other than when we’re at school, we haven’t hung out much since Christmas Break. You don’t tell me when something is bothering you anymore. I know I’ve got my own shit going on... but fuck Max, I’m not so fragile you can’t talk to me.”

Max stays quiet for a moment, Chloe glances at her, seeing the furrow in the younger girl’s brow that means she’s thinking. She tries to ignore the flutter in her stomach as she watches the girl, waiting for the response she knows will be coming. Max has always needed a chance to organize her thoughts before speaking.

Eventually the crease in Max’s brow vanishes and her face relaxes as she meets the blonde’s eyes again. “I’m sorry, you’re right Chloe. I didn’t mean to make you feel like that. I just…”

“Didn’t want to burden me?” 

Max nods her head, feeling slightly ashamed. “I just want to help make things better for you. But… I don’t know how.” 

“Just... be my friend.” Chloe answers plainly. “Dude, unless you can build a time machine and stop my dad from dying. You can’t bring him back. He’s gone.” The two girls sit quietly for a moment. “You can’t change that Max. So just be my friend. Stop treating me differently like everyone else does.”

“I’ll always be your friend Chloe.” Max answers after a moment. With the hint of a smile, she holds up her hand with her pinky extended. “Promise.”

The blonde looks at the offered pinky and for the first time in months, Max can see a genuine smile on the girl’s face. “Damn straight Caulfield,” Chloe says as she hooks her own pinky finger around the brunette’s and shakes. “Now let’s go sneak some ice cream and then I’m gonna kick your butt at Mario Kart.”

“In your dreams Price.” Max taunts back with a light chuckle as they get up from the bed.

They manage to get through a handful of races before Chloe lets out a triumphant yell which wakes Max’s parents. They are promptly sent back to bed but stay up talking until the sky begins turning a lighter shade of purple. Chloe watches her best friend sleep with a tightness in her chest before finally giving into the warm embrace of exhaustion.

May 8th 2009

“I’m Sorry Mrs. Price. But with your daughter’s absences and the fact she’s failing half her classes. I’m afraid we have no choice but to require her to repeat the eighth grade.”

Chloe slumps down in her chair next to her mother as she talks with the Principal. It isn’t the first such meeting they’ve had since November and she wishes she could be anywhere else at the moment.

“What about summer school? Can she make up her grades that way?” Joyce asks with a hint of desperation.

“If Chloe had good attendance and only needed to improve in one or two classes, then that would be an option. However, your daughter has sixteen unexcused absences, three Fs, three Ds and a C. Chloe would need at least three 4 Cs and a couple Ds and no more than twelve unexcused absences to be allowed to enter Arcadia High School with the requirement that she takes summer school to improve a couple of those grades. She quite simply has too much to make up.”

Joyce sighs and lets her shoulders droop. “I know this year has been especially challenging for you and Chloe,” the Principal continues. “Having to repeat a grade before high school won’t affect her chances of getting into a good university. It’s better she does it now than continuing to struggle in the higher grades. And our counselor Ms. Greene has offered to continue working with Chloe for half an hour, once a week through the summer.”

Chloe winces at the thought of having to continue seeing the counselor even after the school year ends. It’s not like I wanted to start seeing her in the first place. 

“That’s a kind offer, I’m sure it would do Chloe some good to continue therapy.” Joyce pauses for a moment to process the situation. “Are you sure there’s nothing else that can be done? She’s already the oldest in her class as it is.”

“It’s the policy set by the state. I’m sorry, but there simply are no other options.”

Joyce lets out another tired sigh. “Alright. Well I appreciate your time.” She stands along with the principal. Chloe takes the que that the meeting is over and grabs her backpack. She silently follows her mother out of the office and towards the school’s entrance.

The car ride home is accompanied by a heavy silence as neither woman talks. It isn’t until they’d been sitting in front of the house for a minute before Joyce finally speaks, her exhaustion evident in her voice. “We’ll have to talk about this tomorrow, I have to go back to the diner for the second part of my double shift. There’s leftovers in the fridge.”

Without even looking at her mother, Chloe grabs her bag and throws open the car door, stepping out. Joyce says something which she just ignores as she walks up the pavement to their front door and digs in her pocket for the key. As soon as she’s inside the dark and eerily quiet house, the young blonde drops her backpack on the floor and slumps back against the door. She’s barely sat down before the sound of the old Honda driving away reaches her ears. Then nothing.

N0ir_Angel 9:27PM: I’m so sorry Chloe.

N0ir_Angel 9:27PM: That really sucks.

The glow from Chloe’s laptop is the only light in the room as she sits on her bed later that night. The discarded remains of her half-eaten meatloaf lay on the ground next to her and Down in A Hole plays quietly through her stereo as she types back her response in the IM chatbox.

Sk8tr.g1rl 9:28PM: At least we’ll get to be in the same classes next year.

N0ir_Angel 9:28PM: True, that’ll be nice for once.

N0ir_Angel 9:30PM: What did your mom say?

Sk8tr.g1rl 9:31PM: Nothing yet.

Sk8tr.g1rl 9:31PM: She went back to work as soon as she dropped me off at home.

Sk8tr.g1rl 9:31PM: Said we’d ‘talk about this tomorrow.’

N0ir_Angel 9:32PM: Do you think she’s mad?

Sk8tr.g1rl 9:34PM: Probably just disappointed in me.

Sk8tr.g1rl 9:34PM: Like everyone else.

N0ir_Angel 9:35PM: :(

Sk8tr.g1rl 9:36PM: What?

Sk8tr.g1rl 9:37PM: It’s true.

N0ir_Angel 9:37PM: No it’s not.

Sk8tr.g1rl 9:40PM: I can see it in everyone’s eyes when they look at me.

Sk8tr.g1rl 9:41PM: It’s probably why Joyce is always working.

N0ir_Angel 9:42PM: I’m sure she has to work more since it’s just her now.

Sk8tr.g1rl 9:43PM: She’s never home Max!

Chloe’s fingers began typing furiously as the anger flares inside her briefly.

Sk8tr.g1rl 9:46PM: After dad died, she didn’t get out of bed for two weeks.

Sk8tr.g1rl 9:46PM: Since then I’ve spent most nights at home alone.

N0ir_Angel 9:48PM: I’m sure she’d love to be home with you more if she could be.

N0ir_Angel 9:52PM: I can ask my parents if you want me to go over.

Sk8tr.g1rl 9:55PM: You don’t know what it’s like being in this house alone.

Tears begin forming in the corner of her eyes as she looks away from the screen. She can hardly make out the opposite wall. Her hands ball up the sheets beneath her as her breathing becomes shaky.

N0ir_Angel 9:56PM: You don’t have to be alone Chloe.

N0ir_Angel 9:56PM: I’m always here for you.

N0ir_Angel 10:02PM: BFF pirates forever right?

N0ir_Angel 10:07PM: Chloe?

Sk8tr.g1rl 10:09PM: Until I disappoint you too or you find a better friend.

Sk8tr.g1rl 10:09PM: How much longer can you put up with me?

N0ir_Angel 10:11PM: Chloe ;(

N0ir_Angel 10:14PM: I’m going over.

N0ir_Angel 10:14PM: Just wait.

N0ir_Angel signed off.

Not fifteen minutes later, Max hops off her bike and leans it against the Price’s garage before running to the door and giving her signature knock. She waits a minute and knocks again when she doesn't hear anything. When there’s still no answer, she pulls out the key Joyce had given months before and unlocks the door. 

“Chloe?” She calls out, not bothering to turn a light on before running upstairs. She pushes the bedroom door open as soon as she reaches it and steps in. She spots a shadowed figure bowed over on the bed, lit only by the light from a laptop screen. 

“Chloe, I-” She flips the switch next to the door and light floods the room, but what she sees freezes her in place. Clothes and trash litter the floor, textbooks lay about haphazardly with their covers open and pages torn. Max is used to Chloe’s room being a mess, but she can tell this had been done purposefully rather than out of negligence. 

The brunette returns her attention to the figure on the bed who hasn’t reacted to her intrusion but once again stops when her foot crumples on paper. Glancing down, Max can see the torn remains of a Unicorn poster. She glances at the wall behind her and the poster’s former home where a bare wall stands until she notices a dent and cracks in the drywall, surrounded by torn scraps of other posters. Her eyes slowly scan the other walls, noticing similarly torn posters.

Ignoring the carnage for now, Max makes her way over to the edge of the bed. “Chloe?” She crawls onto the bed and next to the blonde who finally looks up. Max’s heart sinks as she’s met with red, puffy eyes.

“Max…” A fresh tear runs down Chloe’s cheek and Max notices the torn knuckles on the girl’s left hand. 

Max doesn’t hesitate before gently wrapping the other girl up in an embrace. “I’m here Chloe.”

August 2009

A box fan sits in the corner of the Price’s living room, running on full-blast to cool down two young girls sitting in front of the T.V. Their brows furrowed in concentration as they battled it out in Mario Kart. 

The older girl chances a quick sideways glance at her best friend’s freckled face, seeing one of her favorite expressions. Just as quickly as she feels a small flutter in her stomach does she turn her attention back to the game. 

“Almost Max, get ready to weep as I cross the line first.” Chloe taunts as she nears the end of the track in first place.

“It’s not over until it’s over.” Max comes back at her with an unexpected confidence.

Chloe chances another glance and sees the girl’s lips curled into a smirk. She looks back at the screen just in time to miss nearly going off the track and throwing her win away. “Just give up Max, I’m gonna win.” She leans forward a bit in anticipation with the finish line in sight.

“I don’t think so.” The brunette almost shouts. “Blue shell!”

“What?!” Chloe begins to panic, driving more erratically to try and avoid the incoming missile as Max sticks her tongue out in concentration next to her. Her efforts are in vain however, as a spiky blue shell goes right up her character’s tail pipe, causing her to stop dead in her tracks, mere feet from the finish. “NOOO!” she yells as she frantically smashes the accelerate button. She hardly gets going before Max’s character whizzes past, taking the checkered flag.

“Victory!” The crafty brunette cheers as she throws her hands in the air in a fit of laughter.

“You have failed me Yoshi.” Chloe groans as she falls over in defeat.

“Never underestimate the power of Toadstool.” 

Both girls break out into a fit of giggles until they’re red in the face. They lie side by side on the living room floor, facing each other as they catch their breath. I can’t remember the last time I’ve heard Chloe laugh like that, Max thinks to herself. I know she may never return to her old self entirely, but it’s nice to see her actually happy for once.

Max can’t help but smile as she gazes into those deep blue eyes which seemed so dull for so long. It takes her a moment to realize they’ve been staring at each other. She blinks and something about Chloe’s expression strikes her as odd. Before she can figure out what it is however, Chloe’s cheek flush slightly and she suddenly sits up, avoiding her gaze.

“H-how about, uhm, one more round. I-I’m just… gonna get a drink.” Chloe stammers out as she quickly stands up, still not looking at Max.

“Alright, I guess I can kick your butt one more time.”

“Technically, I’m still ahead by one,” Chloe calls from the kitchen as she opens the fridge. 

“That one doesn’t count, I still say you cheated.” Max answers as she navigates the menu.

Chloe’s about to argue back but stops when she hears the front door open. “Mom? I thought you were working late again.” She says as the older Price woman walks through the door carrying a couple bags of groceries. 

Max immediately jumps up and rounds the corner to the hall to greet her second mother. “Hi Joyce.”

“Chloe. Max, I’m glad you’re here. There’s someone I’d like you both to meet.” Joyce says as she quickly sets the bags down in the kitchen and returns to the entrance as a Tall man with buzz cut and mustache appears in the doorway.

“Who the hell is he, a cop?” Chloe asks before Joyce can get a word out.

The mysterious man frowns slightly at the question as Joyces tries to introduce him. “Chloe, language.” She warns before exchanging a quick glance with the man. “This is David Madsen and he’ll be joining us for dinner tonight. David, this is my daughter Chloe and her best friend Max.”

Max steps slightly behind Chloe, feeling uneasy under David's hard, scrutinizing gaze. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you Chloe. Your mother’s told me a lot about you. You too Max.” David says after setting down the bag he was carrying and offering a hand to the blonde.

Chloe quickly glances at the proffered hand but makes no move to take it. David clears his throat and awkwardly withdraws his hand.The brunette hiding behind her crosses her left arm over her chest, gripping her other arm, growing more uncomfortable with the situation by the second. Chloe turns her questioning gaze back on her mother. “Why are we feeding a stranger?”

“Chloe! Mind your manners. David’s not a stranger. He and I have been… seeing each other, for a while now.”

“What do you mean… seeing each other?” 

If Max was standing any closer to Chloe, she would be able to feel Chloe’s heart begin to beat faster and hear her jaw tighten.

Joyce’s expression softens a little, realizing that it may be too soon for her daughter. “David and I are dating. Now I know this might come as a surprise to you, that's why we’ve waited so long before telling you.”

Max instinctively reaches out and places a hand on Chloe’s arm, she can only imagine the mixture of extreme emotions the blonde must be feeling, anger, confusion, hurt, betrayal. Chloe shrugs her off, not wanting to be calmed down.

“What the fuck?! How the fuck could you be dating? What about dad?”

Chloe’s outburst seems to test the last of David’s patience. “Now you listen here little missy-”

“David, please” Joyce interrupts, trying to diffuse the situation. “And Chloe, what has gotten into you?”

“Me?! I’m not the one betraying dad!” 

Max takes a couple uneasy steps back as everything turns into chaos around her. She can no longer make out the words being said, only the volume and the anger. Her vision begins to darken and narrow slightly and she shuts her eyes as she tries to focus on just breathing. 

By the time she opens her eyes, it’s over. She can hear thunderous footsteps heading upstairs. She sees Joyce and David talking quietly for a moment before the man opens the front door and walks out. Her breathing returns to normal and suddenly she’s standing there in the hallway alone with a deflated Joyce who only seems to just notice Max still standing there.

“Oh, Max. I’m so sorry you had to be here for that. I just don’t know what’s gotten into that girl lately.” The older Price woman sighs, shaking her head. “Maybe you should check on Chloe. All I seem to do is upset her lately. I’ll let you know once dinner is ready.”

Still slightly in shock, Max simply nods before slowly making her way up stairs. She pauses in front of Chloe’s door, bracing herself for the tempest of emotions that likely await her on the other side of the door.

Max jumps slightly as she opens the door and is greeted by a flying blur as something is hurtled at the nearby wall. “Shit. Sorry Max,” Chloe’s surprised voice cracks and she dashes across the room to the brunette.

Max glances at the object in question and relaxes. “It’s okay. Even if it had hit me, I don’t think Mr. Shark would have hurt.”

“Still, sorry. I didn’t expect anyone to open the door.” The blonde’s shoulders sag as she turns and walks towards her bed, now moved against the far wall, and plops down. Max follows, taking up a spot next to her friend. “Is uh… Is he still here?”

The brunette shakes her head and takes a steadying breath before answering. “No. H-he left.”

Chloe picks up on the shaking in the girl’s voice and turns to face her, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Y-yeah. I just… wasn’t expecting that.”

“Ugh, I can’t believe mom’s dating someone. What the fuck about dad? It hasn’t even been a year since he…” Chloe stands up, becoming visibly more angry by the second as she stomps around in a circle, eyes flicking for something to take out her anger on. “Ugh, this is such fucking bullshit!” she yells as she kicks the dresser by the closet. Max has always known Chloe to use colorful language but the amount of profanity working its way into her normal speech has noticeably increased.

“Chloe,” Max speaks up from where she sits on the bed, still watching the other girl fume in the corner. “I know it’s not fair… but maybe your mom is just trying to move on.”

“By betraying dad and dating that asshole?” Chloe turns around, red faced and watery eyed. 

“How do you know he’s an asshole? He might actually be nice.”

“I don’t give a fuck if he is or not. He’s not my dad.”

Max gets up and crosses over to her friend, placing her hands on the blonde’s arms. “I know Chloe. William was amazing, and no one will ever replace him. No one’s asking you to forget him. I know I never will.”

Chloe lowers her head as tears begin running down her cheeks. Max wraps her arms around her taller friend, trying her best to comfort her. Chloe’s arms drift up her back after a moment as a sob racks her body and squeezes the brunette tight. “I miss him so much.”

“I know Chloe,” Max whispers as her own tears start forming for her grief-stricken friend. “But William wouldn’t want you to be sad all the time. He’d want you to be happy.” The younger girl hushes her and does her best to move them towards the bed, not willing to break their contact for a second.

Chapter Text

September 28th, 2009

Max’s foot taps the floor rapidly as it bounces up and down. She’s been watching the seconds tick by on the clock for the past hour. The whole day has felt like an eternity. Mercifully there are only eight minutes left until the last class of the day ends, though it is going to be a long eight minutes.

I can’t believe my parents wouldn’t let me take the day off. I just wish I knew how Chloe was doing. She scans the room to see where the teacher’s attention is, slipping her phone out of her pocket to once again check for messages from her friend. C’mon Chloe, please text me so I know you’re okay. 

The summer had brought some progress to Chloe’s grieving. There were fewer bad days and only occasional outbursts. However, the revelation that Joyce is dating brought that progress to a crashing halt. Over the past week in particular, her mood grew steadily worse as the anniversary of William’s death loomed ahead. Max begged her parents to let her take the day off so she could spend it with Chloe. They wouldn’t have any of it though, stating she can’t keep missing school everytime Chloe has a bad day.

Slipping her phone back in her pocket, Max tries to pay attention to the lesson once more. Ugh, why did History have to be the last class? Half the class is asleep. She glances back at the clock and tries her best not to audibly groan when she sees there are still four minutes.

Her foot tapping continues as each minute painfully takes its time to pass until the clock finally indicates it’s 2:29. Max and the other half of the class that is still awake began shuffling and gathering their things in anticipation. The small brunette is practically ready to fly as soon as the bell rings, being the first one out the door as she races down the hall.

She sends off a text to Chloe letting her know she’s on her way over before jumping on her bike and pedaling as fast as she can. The wind whips her ponytail around as she navigates the streets of the small town. 

Max is surprised that Joyce’s car isn’t in the driveway when she arrives, but pays it little mind as she drops her bike on the grass and throws her helmet aside, rushing up the steps with her key already in hand. “Chloe?!” She calls as soon as the door opens before quickly kicking her shoes off and leaping up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

The small brunette barrels into Chloe’s room, almost knocking the door off the hinges. “Chloe?” Max asks again breathlessly as her exertion catches up to her. She looks around, taking air in gulps as she scans the empty room for her friend. Worry grips her heart for a moment before she hears music coming from behind her.

Turning around, she spots light coming from under the bathroom door. She takes a couple more gulps of air, steadying her breathing before approaching the door and knocking lightly on it.

“Ugh, I’m fine mom, just go to work!” Chloe yells from the other side of the door impatiently.

“It’s me,” Max replies quietly.

The loud punk music that had been playing suddenly stops. “Max?”

“Yeah. You didn’t respond to any of my texts. I was worried.”

Max hears a muttered fuck and some shuffling from the other side before some more quiet cursing. At last the door finally opens, slowly revealing Chloe who stands there uncharacteristically shy. “Uh. H-hey Max.”

The small brunette is completely unprepared for the sight in front of her. Sleeves torn off an old t-shirt with a skull, spike bracelet, dark eye-liner messily applied. However, what really catches Max’s attention is her hair. Gone are the long flowing locks of shimmering strawberry blonde, cut short so as to barely reach her jawline in a jagged, uneven mess. 

“Chloe…” There’s no hiding the shock in her voice. Max reaches her hand out, touching the sloppy haircut. “Why?”

The blonde’s face scours as she looks away. “I… needed a change…” She answers noncommittally. “Joyce’s new… boyfriend,” She practically spits the word out, like an expired gumball. “She’s been bringing him over more. He’s such an old-fashioned asshole… the other day he called me girly and said I’m too much of a tomboy.”

Max pulls her hand away and tries to meet her gaze. “So you cut your hair?” She can see what her friend was going for with the change and she has to try and hide her smirk.

“That was half of it. See how his sexist ass likes my new look.” Chloe answers, forcing a grin that will never fool her best friend.

“And the other half?” Max asks. 

Chloe takes a deep breath and shuts her eyes, trying to fight back tears before they can form. “I uh… thought about what you’ve said before… about dad wanting me to be happy… and moving on.”

She can’t stop a couple tears from falling and Max steps forward, embracing the taller girl. Chloe lets out a single sob but does her best to try and calm herself. The scrawny arms wrapped around her help keep the worst of it at bay. After a minute, she pulls away and wipes her eyes. 

Max again reaches a hand up and runs it through short blonde hair, allowing the smallest smile to grace her lips. “Sit down,” she commands, pointing to the toilet and spotting the scissors on the counter behind her. “Let me at least try to fix up the mess you created.”

Chloe lets out a choked laugh and does as she was told. For a time, the only sound that fills the small room is the occasional snip snip of scissors cutting through hair. The blonde is thankful Max is too focused on her task to notice the blush that dusts her cheeks a light pink.

After about ten minutes, Max steps back a little to scrutinize her work. It’s only then she notices the bashful look on her friend’s face. “What?”

Chloe’s eyes quickly dart to the side, trying to avoid direct eye contact as she clears her throat. “N-nothing. Y-you were just… uhm… uh, i-it’s nothing.” she turns her head, feeling her cheeks burn hotter as the brunette grabs her face and forces her head straight.

“Stay still,” Max chuckles, “I’m trying to make sure it’s even.” She makes a few more snips and then steps back to admire her work. “Much better.”

“Lemme see,” Chloe says as she jumps up and moves in front of the mirror. She turns her head in different directions, checking her new haircut from every angle. “Badass.” She turns around towards the brunette with a real grin this time. “Okay, your turn Max.”

The younger girl pales and her eyes go wide. “What?”

“You cut my hair, I cut your hair.” the older girl explains like it should be obvious.

Max reaches up, touching her ponytail protectively. “But, I like my hair as it is. Does it look bad?”

“Well, no. I-I uhm… I like your hair. Just thought you might want to try something new too.”

The brunette bites her lip as she contemplates what to do for a moment before shaking her head. “No, I don’t think I’m ready for a change yet.”

“If you say so. You could try wearing down more though… uhm, y’know… just a thought.” Chloe glances around the mess in the bathroom; blonde hair covers every surface. “We should probably clean this up before mom comes home.”

“Definitely. I don’t want a repeat of the great bubble fight of 2002.” Both girls burst into a fit of giggles as they recall the last time they’d taken a bath together as little kids, an event that left the entire bathroom and half the hallway covered in soapy water. 

Once they finish cleaning up, Chloe grabs her skateboard and the pair make their way down to the lighthouse. Max locks her bike up in the parking lot at the bottom of the cliff and they make their way up the trail. Naturally Max ends up falling behind as her far more in shape friend continues to the top. 

When Max finally reaches the top, she spots Chloe just as she sits down on the bench overlooking the bay. The Sun is just starting to make its descent towards the horizon, painting the land in a gentle orange hue. She stops about ten feet from the bench and reaches into her new messenger bag, pulling out the polaroid camera her parents gifted her for her birthday. She pops open the flash, uncovering the lens and takes a second to line up her shot, centering Chloe’s profile at an angle in the frame against the sunset. She takes a breath and presses the shutter. 

The following click and whir is like music to her ears as the developing photo is spat out, she quickly grabs it and hides it in a pocket in her bag before walking over and sitting next to her friend on the bench.

Chloe glances over at Max and the ghost of a smile touches her lips. “You used to drool all over my dad’s camera, and now you’ve got one just like it.”

The brunette looks down at the archaic device in her lap and smiles. “It’s an older model, but just as cool. Unfortunately, the film for it is kind of pricey, so I have to choose my shots carefully.”

“Then why’d you take a picture of me?” Chloe asks with a frown.

Max looks up to meet her eyes with a look of confusion. “It was a great shot,” she states as she takes out the now fully developed photo. “Even though you can only see the outline of your profile, I can tell what you’re feeling. I can see the pain losing William still causes you, and how you’re trying to move beyond it. You also look pissed off… but so beautiful.”

A light blush tints the older girl’s cheeks as she tries to hide it. “You are such a goop.”

They sit quietly, admiring the scene before them. Max loves the fact that they can have these moments of quiet between them. It always feels awkward with anyone else, never with Chloe though.

“How was it today?” Max asks hesitantly, not wanting to ruin the moment.

It takes a minute before Chloe leans back and lets out a heavy breath. “You mean visiting dad’s grave?” Max places a reassuring hand on the blonde’s shoulder. “It was… weird. Like… trying to talk to someone who isn’t there. I didn’t know what to say, so I just stayed quiet. Not sure what good it would have done anyways.”

“Are you glad you went?”

Chloe shoves her hands in her jeans pockets and shrugs. “I can’t believe it’s already been a year. Sometimes it still feels like he was just here yesterday. I still dream about him, but not as much. Y’know, I couldn’t even cry earlier. Isn’t that fucked up? I just… felt empty.”

Max doesn’t know what to say, so instead she just wraps her arms around the girl in a sideways hug. She hopes her actions can do what her voice isn’t capable of. It’s not long before she feels Chloe relax and lean her head against hers. 

“Thanks Max,” Chloe says after a bit, sitting back up. She stands up once the brunette releases her from their embrace and walks a few steps towards the cliff. Then she does something Max would never expect. She pulls a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of her pocket, places one between her lips and lights it. She coughs a little as she blows the smoke out of her mouth.

“Chloe?!” Max asks, not bothering to hide the shock in her voice.

“What?” The older girl says as she turns around. “Did you want one?”

“Wha- No! Where’d you even get those?” The brunette stands, glancing around quickly to make sure no one is around to get them in trouble.

Chloe shrugs. “I went to Blackwell to hang out with Eliot last week. I swiped ‘em off one of the rich kids when they weren’t paying attention. You’re not gonna tell Joyce are you?”

“No, of course not. But-”

“Good,” Chloe interrupts her friend before she can say what she knows would be coming next. Max gives her a concerned look and she sits back down next to her. “Dude, you need to relax a little, it’s fine.”

“It smells horrible, how can you stand it?”

The blonde takes another drag and holds it out for the brunette. “It’s really not that bad, just try it.” Max glances down at the offered cigarette and then back up to Chloe’s eyes. “Just put it between your lips and suck it in. Then blow it out.”

Max hesitantly takes the cigarette and does as she’s instructed. As soon as her throat fills with smoke however, she begins coughing uncontrollably. Chloe takes the cigarette back and starts rubbing her friend’s back. “Easy Max, just breathe. I probably should have warned you that this would happen the first time.”

“Eugh, gross,” The younger girl practically gags on the aftertaste once her breathing returns to normal. “Remind me not to let you talk me into trying that again.”

“Fair enough.” Chloe takes one last drag before snuffing the cigarette out. She’s about to throw it on the ground but catches Max watching her and instead, gets up to throw it in a nearby garbage bin. “C’mon, let's go to the Two Whales and see if mom’ll feed us.”

October 2009

Blink-182 plays through the old stereo as Max lays on her stomach on Chloe’s bed late at night. The blonde in question is currently in the bathroom taking a shower, so Max has decided to try and complete some history homework. 

She’s been bobbing her head along to the music when Max comes across a question she doesn’t know. Several minutes of flipping through the current chapter isn’t providing the answer she needs so she decides to Google the answer. Getting up from the bed, the brunette walks over to the desk and flips open Chloe’s laptop. 

Ugh, Chloe never closes any of her windows. She begins idly closing each open browser window, one at a time, being the snoop that she is. None of them are worth paying much attention to until one of the pages causes her to freeze. Her cheeks turn bright red when she reads the title of the video that’s been paused. 

Max’s curiosity gets the better of her and she presses the play button. The volume is loud and immediate as the moans of two girl’s play through the laptop’s speakers. She panics and fumbles around as she tries to stop the video, taking a few tries before finally hitting the X to close the window. She slams the laptop shut as her cheeks continue to burn before she realizes she can no longer hear the shower running across the hall. 

The door’s handle jiggles and begins to turn. Afraid she’ll be found out, Max quickly leaps for the bed, knocking her homework to the floor in her scramble. She grabs the nearest book she can and lays back in bed, using the book to shield her burning face by pretending to read.

“Fuck I needed that,” Chloe states once she shuts the door behind her. Max tries not to peek from behind the book at her friend as the blonde tosses her wet towel on a pile near the closet. She feels the mattress dip next to her as Chloe sits down, running her fingers through her short hair. “Dude you should really consider going with short hair, it’s so much easier to deal with.” Max just hums next to her. She ducks down further behind the book when she sees the other girl turn to look at her. “You okay Mad Max?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Uh-huh. You do realize you’re holding my advanced chemistry book upside down right?”

The brunette’s eyes go wide as she realizes her mistake and closes the book, setting it down on the ground next to her. “I-I was just trying to understand... one of the diagrams.” She uses her arms to cover her face as she lays back down.

“C’mon dorkmeister, you know you can’t lie to save your life.” 

Max opens her eyes without moving her arms and looks at her friend. She is hyper aware of Chloe leaning over her, wet hair hanging around her face. Her loose shirt gives away the fact that the older girl’s chest is developing a more mature shape.

When Max doesn’t answer, Chloe’s expression changes from one of teasing to one of concern. “Did… did I do something wrong?” The young brunette shakes her head, not quite trusting her voice. “Okay. You didn’t find my hidden porn stash under the bed did you? It’s totally cool if you wanna borrow some.” She says jokingly, making Max’s face turn beet red once again. Chloe playfully shoves her shoulder. “Relax Max, I’m just kidding. Now c’mon, what’s got you acting all weird?” 

“N-nothing…” The brunette answers shyly. 

Chloe sighs and drops down on her side, leaning her forehead against the other girl’s. “You don’t have to tell me Max. But you know I’m here if there’s something you wanna talk about.”

“Y-yeah, thanks Chloe.”

“That’s Captain Chloe to you.”

“Aye aye Cap’n,” Max tries in her best pirate voice, giggling as she does.

“Arrgh, that be better, First Mate.” The blonde replies before joining in the giggling. Chloe continues to gaze into her eyes once the giggles stop. 

Again Max notices the girl’s expression changes to one that looks soft and almost sad, but also kind of happy. Chloe’s been giving her that look lately, but she doesn’t know how to read it. She watches Chloe’s eyes look down a little before returning to meet her own again. Eventually the older girl sighs and looks away, pushing herself up in bed.

“Let’s watch a movie.” Chloe says abruptly as she stands up and walks over to the desk, grabbing her laptop. 

Max’s eyes go wide, hoping the other girl won’t notice she’d used her laptop as she sits back down on the bed and opens it. She breathes a sigh of relief when the blonde makes no indication that she’s noticed anything different. “W-what movie?”

“Mmm, I’m kinda in a Blade Runner mood.” 

“I guess it has been a while since we’ve watched it. But are you actually going to stay awake this time?”

“Oh my god! That was one time.” Chloe sighs exacerbated.

“Bull!” Max corrects. “You fell asleep the first time we watched it. Then again on your twelfth birthday and when the theater did a throwback showing-”

“Okay Maxine. ” The blonde interrupts, knowing the other girl hates being called her full name. It has the desired effect though, because the brunette mumbles to herself but otherwise stays quiet as Chloe finds a sight to stream the movie on and hit play, setting the laptop at their feet before laying down next to the other girl.

It’s about an hour later that Max yawns again for the second time in as many minutes. She looks at Chloe next to her. The blonde predictably fell asleep twenty minutes ago and her head had sags against Max’s shoulder. 

Being careful not to wake her, Max slips out from under Chloe. She shuts the laptop and picks it up, placing it back on the desk. She turns off the light before crawling back into bed. As Max turns to face the other girl, she can’t help but think of the video she’d seen earlier. Does Chloe… like girls like that? We’ve never really talked about any of that stuff. Come to think of it, she’s put up a few pictures of girls on her wall but I thought she just liked them for artistic reasons.

Max continues to look at the blonde’s calm face as she sleeps, her eyes have adjusted to the dark and the moon provides just enough light to make out the curves of her face. Without thinking, she reaches out and brushes a few stray strands of hair out of the girl’s face. “Max…” Chloe mumbles quietly in her sleep, causing the brunette to freeze, thinking she’d woken her.

Would Chloe tell me if she was… gay? What if she’s afraid to tell me? Maybe she thinks I would hate her if she did. I could never hate her for that though. She’ll always be my best friend, no matter what. Max yawns again as her eyes grow heavier. She continues watching her friend, thoughts running through her mind until she eventually falls asleep.

December 2009

Chloe 4:42PM: Fucking asshole!

Max 4:43PM: Sorry? ;(

Chloe: Not you

Chloe: Sgt. Dickwad

Max 4:44PM: Oh

Max: What happened?

Chloe 4:47PM: Fucker barged into my room and caught me smoking

Chloe: He didn’t even knock

Max 4:49PM: What a jerk

Max: I’m so sorry you have to deal with that

Chloe 4:53PM: He started spending the night occasionally

Chloe: And now he acts like he owns the damn house

Max 4:54PM: Doesn’t your door have a lock on it?

Chloe 4:55PM: It’s broken

Max: >.<

Max 4:58PM: Do you think you could fix it?

Chloe 5:01PM: Maybe

Chloe: Worth a try if it can keep pornstache out

Chloe 5:04PM: I had to listen to him and mom both yell at me for an hour

Max 5:07PM: For smoking cigarettes?

Max: Didn’t Joyce smoke until a couple years ago?

Chloe 5:12PM: Wasn’t a cigarette

Max 5:14PM: What?

Max: Your mom used to smoke

Max: Remember you made her that ashtray

Chloe 5:19PM: I wasn’t smoking a cigarette

Chloe: It was weed

Max 5:22: Where’d you get weed?

Chloe 5:24PM: Justin

Chloe: His older brother is in some club at Blackwell that always throws parties

Max 5:27PM: Oh

Chloe 5:36PM: Can I stay at your place tonight?

Chloe: I ran out when it started getting bad

Max 5:38PM: Yeah of course

Chloe: Thanks

Chloe: I’ve been wandering around for while

Chloe: I’m outside

Max immediately drops her phone on the bed and runs for the door. She ignores the questioning from her mom in the kitchen as she practically flies down the stairs. She throws open the front door and almost tackles her blonde haired friend in a hug.

“U-um, h-hey M-m-max.” Chloe says through chattering teeth.

It isn’t until the brunette pulls away that she realizes Chloe isn’t even wearing a jacket. “Dog Chloe, why didn’t you-”

“Maxine sweetie, what’s going on?” Vanessa asks as she walks up behind her daughter with a peeler in one hand and a potato in the other. “Chloe? Oh hun, you look like you’re freezing. Max, take her upstairs and get her a blanket.”

Max does as she’s told, and after returning to her room with hot cocoa, she hands one of the mugs to Chloe and sits down next to her on the bed. They sit in silence for several minutes as they sip their cocoa.

“You should've come over and told me as soon as you left.” Max states when Chloe loosens the blanket around her. “You could have gotten sick. Where’s your jacket? Where did you even go?”

“Okay mom,” The blonde jokes, earning herself a warning look from the brunette. “I don’t know. I just had to get out of there and fast. I ended up by the pier before I thought to come here.”

“What happened? Was it really that bad?” The concern is evident in Max’s voice as she gives her friend a worried look.

Chloe sets her mug down on the side table in frustration as her anger from the afternoon's events starts to return. “I was just trying to relax and forget everything for a bit. David just barged in complaining about my music being too loud. Asshole didn’t even knock. I mean, what if I’d been in the middle of changing?” Chloe stands and starts pacing in front of the brunette, struggling to restrain her anger.

“That’s so wrong,” Max replies, feeling her own anger start to build for her friend.

“Exactly. And of course I’d just lit up, I didn’t even have a chance to hide the weed before he saw it. He just marched over and grabbed it out of my hand and started yelling. That got mom’s attention and she joined in as that narc started interrogating me.”

Having at least expended some of her energy, Chloe plops back down in her previous spot on the bed with a huff. “What’d you tell him?” Max asks when the blonde doesn’t immediately continue.

“I didn’t tell him shit. I wasn’t going to rat out Justin or his brother. Mom at least got him to stop asking where I’d gotten it, but she let him go on lecturing me and calling me a loser.” Chloe sighs and lets her shoulders slump. “She didn’t even try to stop him, let alone defend me.”

Max places an arm around her friend’s shoulders, trying to comfort her. “I’m sorry Chloe. I wish I could have been there for you.”

“No, it’s better you weren’t,” Chloe answers, shaking her head. “He would have just laid into you too, and I know how you get with confrontations. This shit never would have happened if dad was still here.”

Max knows she’s right. In all the years she’s known Chloe, all the time she's spent with her family, she never once saw William yell at his daughter. Sure he’d gotten upset when they’d get in trouble. But he always remained calm and made sure to listen to them. 

They’ve been sitting quietly for several minutes when there is a soft knock followed by Vanessa’s voice. “Girls, can I come in for a moment?”

Sitting up straight, Max quickly glances at her friend who nodded, indicating it’s okay. “Yeah mom.”

The older Caulfield woman opens the door and leans against the frame. “I called Joyce to let her know Chloe was here.” She starts before addressing the blonde directly. “Your mother sounded pretty upset but relieved knowing you’re safe. She said it was fine if you want to stay the night but she does want you to call her. I don’t need to know what happened, but do you think you can do that?”

Chloe sighs but nods nonetheless. “Yeah, I’ll call her.”

“Alright sweetie. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes so you two come down whenever you’re ready.”

“Sure mom,” Max answers and Vanessa gives them a soft smile before closing the door behind her.

As soon as the door closes, Chloe groans and collapses on her back before pulling her phone out. “Let’s get this over with,” she says as she hits the call button next to Joyce’s number.

February 2010

“I’m trying not to think about the fact Valentine’s day is next week,” Max groans. She’s laying on Chloe’s bed, letting her head hang off the side, flipping through a Thrasher magazine as Firewalk’s latest single plays on the radio. She blows a bubble with the mint gum she’s been chewing on for several minutes, trying to freshen up her breath. She only agreed to smoke the cigarello with Chloe to say she had. Pops always says you should try everything once. I don’t know how Chloe can stand smoking though. 

The blonde in question is currently rifling through her closet, going through old clothes to see what still fits. “Not looking forward to breaking some hearts this year?” Chloe teases as she pulls off another shirt that doesn’t fit before turning towards the brunette. “You want this one?”

Max shakes her head at the garment and the blonde tosses it into a pile on the floor. “Oh yeah, because there are so many boys lining up to ask me out,” She replies sarcastically. “Aren’t you cold?” She questions the half-naked girl standing in front of an open window in just jeans and a bra.”

“Fuck yeah, it’s like forty degrees out. I guess it’s aired out enough,” Chloe comments as she walks over and shuts the window. “You could totally get any boy you want, Max, you just gotta be more confident.”

“Maybe you could. You’re actually pretty. I’m just plain, and flat. I’m the only girl in our class who doesn’t have to wear a bra.” Max lifts her head up, trying to get a glimpse of her nonexistent cleavage. “Ugh, head rush.” Chloe turns around and starts laughing as the brunette struggles to sit up straight after hanging upside down for so long. “Little help?” Max asks as she lets her head fall. 

The blonde moves over and places her hands under the smaller girl’s shoulders before pushing her back up on the bed and collapsing next to her in a fit of giggles. Max tries to stand up but her sense of balance is off and she falls back down on the bed, causing Chloe to laugh even more. “Oh my god, you are SO clumsy dude.”

“Shut up, I’m just dizzy,” Max argues as she tries sitting up, this time successfully. “Jerk.”

When her laughing fit ends, Chloe sits up next to her. “Seriously though, one day, all the boys will be lining up to get a little piece of Max Caulfield. Not that any of them would be good enough for you.”

“That’ll be the day,” Max sighs disbelievingly. She places a hand on either side of her chest and tries to squish her barely developing buds together.

“You don’t have to have big tits to be attractive Max.”

The brunette frowns back at her friend. “Easy for you to say. You’re already a B cup. I just wish I’d finally hit a growth spurt.”

“Come here,” Chloe commands, standing up and holding a hand out. Max accepts the hand and is dragged over to the mirror. “For starters, let’s get rid of this little kids’ ponytail,” the older girl says as she undoes the hair tie and spreads out the brunette’s long hair. She grabs a brush from her dresser and quickly parts her friend’s hair. “See, that’s already an improvement. You’re prettier than you think.” Chloe then walks over to her closet and pushes a few shirts around before she spots a red and black flannel shirt. “Here, put this on instead of your sweater.”

The young photographer does as she’s told and then checks her reflection in the mirror. Her mouth scrunches to the side as she scrutinizes her appearance. “I’m not sure I can really pull this style off. I look ridiculous.”

“Well, I-I think you look p-pretty cute.” Chloe comments as she looks over her friend’s shoulder at her reflection in the mirror. Her cheeks turn a light pink as she plays with the girl’s hair part.

Is she blushing? Max thinks to herself, noticing the blonde’s rose tinted cheeks and the way she’s playing with her hair. She thinks of when she’d found the video on the older girl’s laptop and all the pictures of girls posted on her walls. Wait, does she… She gulps nervously at the thought of what she’s about to ask. “C-Chloe-”

“Chloe!” 

Both girls freeze and turn as the bedroom door is thrown wide open and David stomps into the middle of the room. “How many times do I have to tell you to keep that punk crap down?!” He pauses for a second and sniffs the air. “Have you been smoking in here again?”

“Dude what the shit?!” Chloe yells, moving to stand in front of Max. “What the fuck happened to knocking?”

“Answer me young lady.” David says angrily.

“No I wasn’t fucking smoking. We were just trying on clothes.”

“Sure you were. Do I need to search your room?”

“How about you try knocking instead of barging in.” Chloe looks over at her friend surprised to see the usually shy girl speaking up. “If you’d come in half a minute sooner, I would have been half naked. Or was that what you were hoping to see?”

“I-I, what? N-no… of course not-” David steps back as he trips over his words, clearly caught off guard by the brunette’s sudden boldness.

“How about you get out of here before I tell Joyce you’re a pervert.” Max adds, taking advantage of the turn in the argument.

“I-I’m not… I would never-”

“Get out of here asshole!” Chloe commands, once again stepping over to shield her friend.

“Th-This isn’t over,” David stammers out as he retreats towards the door.

Chloe waits until she hears the man’s footsteps echo down the stairs before turning to look at her friend. “H-holy shit Max. That was badass!” she cheers excitedly. 

The younger girl’s nerves finally catch up with her though and Max drops onto the bed as her hands start to shake from the adrenaline. “Ugh, I hate shouting.”

Sitting down beside her friend, Chloe takes her hands into her lap and massages the backs with her thumb, something she’d figured out years ago to help Max calm down. “I could kiss you right now, you know that?” The comment gets a weak smile out of Max. “I’ve never been able to get rid of him that easily.”

“How often does this happen?”

Chloe releases the brunette’s hands and turns to the side, her earlier excitement fading. “More, the more mom lets him stay here. Ever since he caught me smoking weed a couple months ago.”

“Have you told your mom?”

“She defends him!” Chloe complains. “Tries to say he’s ‘just looking out for me.’ Bullshit. The douche is a fucking fascist. But seriously, you were like, my beautiful savior.” The blonde reaches out and drapes an arm over Max’s shoulders, pulling her in with a giggle.

She’ll tell me when she’s ready I guess, Max thinks as she laughs along.

Chapter Text

February 14th 2010

Max sits on her bed alone in her dark room, wrapped up in a blanket. Her laptop sits on her lap playing Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within for the second time straight. It’s the first time she can remember ever spending Valentine’s Day alone, and the first time in over nine years she can remember feeling so lonely. Stupid fake holiday! She thinks to herself.

She’d been hoping that since single’s awareness day fell on a Sunday, the other kids at school wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. But low and behold, Friday came, and with it, just one Valentine’s card; from Chloe of course. Just like every other year, even when it was mandatory to give out cards to everyone in the same class. Stupid Teachers throwing a stupid party to let students pass out stupid valentine’s in class.

Sticking her hand in the half-empty bag of hershey kisses her mom gave her that morning, she unwraps another dark chocolate before popping it in her mouth and letting it dissolve into rich, sweet gooeyness. On the screen, one of the more intimate scenes plays out as the main character’s love interest comforts her while she cries, leading to the first kiss in the movie. I wonder what I’d look like if I cut my hair like Aki’s. Maybe it’s time to get rid of my ponytail like Chloe keeps telling me to do.

The lonely brunette pops another chocolate in her mouth just as her phone starts vibrating on the side table next to her. She pauses the movie and moves the computer off her lap before grabbing her phone and answering.

“Hello?”

“What up, Maximum Heart Containers?”

“Chloe?” Max asks in surprise, having not bothered to check the caller ID first. “Did you just use a Zelda reference for Valentine’s Day?”

There’s a short silence on the other side of the line. “...M-maybe?”

“You are such a nerd.” Max giggles.

“Whatever dork.”

“Dweeb.”

“Photo-geek.”

“Punk.”

“Punks are cool, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Well you’re definitely cooler than a photography nerd.” Max replies in a self-deprecating tone.

“Hey, stop talking crap about my best friend or I’ll have to kick your ass.” The line goes quiet for a bit. “Max? Talk to me girl, what’s wrong?” Max opens her mouth and is about to tell her nothing was wrong when Chloe speaks up again. “And don’t say ‘nothing.’ I don’t have to see your face to know something’s bothering you. Spit it out sista.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be on a date?”

“Don’t change the subject.”

“It’s… it’s nothing. Really Chloe. Don’t worry about it.”

“Holy shit Caulfield. I’m gonna hold you down on your bed and tickle you ‘till you pee if you don’t tell me what’s bothering you in about… ten seconds.”

The line suddenly goes dead and Max looks at her phone in confusion, wondering if the battery died. She nearly jumps out of bed when she hears a tapping on her bedroom window. She can’t make anything out due to the darkness as cautiously approaches the window. Grabbing the bottom, the brunette hefts it up and, before she can react, a hand reaches in from outside. Max jumps back and yelps before she sees a head of short blonde hair appear in the window. “Damnit Chloe, you scared the shit out of me.”

“Nice to… see you too… Max.” The older girl huffs out with her hands on her knees, trying to catch her breath after pulling herself through the window. “Damn cigarettes.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Uh-uhn,” Chloe stops her, shaking her head as she stands to her full height. “You’re not getting out of telling me what’s wrong.”

“I just…” Max starts before retreating back and sitting on the edge of her bed. “You’re gonna think it’s stupid,” she says as looks down at the floor.

The blonde joins her on the bed and leans down, trying to meet the girl’s gaze. “Max, it doesn’t matter what it is, I’ll never think that.”

The brunette looks up into her friend’s soft caring eyes and sighs, looking back down at her lap. “I just… felt lonely. You know why I hate today. It sucks being the quiet, friendless, freak on Valentine’s.”

“Hey,” Chloe interrupts, placing a hand on Max’s chin and forcing her to meet her eyes. “I told you to stop talking crap about my best friend.”

“It’s true though. You… had your date and I missed our tradition of pigging out on chocolates and making fun of bad rom coms like we usually do. And if you’re going to be… dating now, then you won’t have much time for me. I’ll just be alone all the time. Again.” Her voice starts shaking as she speaks.

“Max…”

“I’m sorry Chloe, I told you it was stupid. I’m just being needy, of course you would rather go on dates with boys than hang out with me.”

“No, Max-” Chloe’s attempt to stop the brunette’s self-depreciating rambling fails as Max continues.

“It wasn’t really even a tradition anyways. You must be tired of spending so much time with me and-”

“Max, will you just shut the fuck up for a second!” The blonde practically shouts, though it at least succeeds in stopping Max’s rambling and gets her to look at Chloe again. “Sorry but, first and foremost, it’s not stupid and it’s not needy, it’s what best friends are for. Secondly, I’m not going to be going on dates all the time now. It was just one and I kind of sneaked away in the middle of it.”

Max looks at her confused but before she can ask what she means, Chloe continues. “We can talk about that later. Also, I love our traditions, and I’m sorry I missed this one. But most importantly, I will never get tired of spending time with you. You’re Max freaking Caulfield and I love every second I get to spend with you.”

The young photographer hasn’t taken her eyes off the blonde’s. “Do you really mean that?”

“Obviously. I wouldn’t spend so much time with you if I didn’t.” Max’s expression softens into a small smile that makes the punk’s heart skip a beat and her throat go dry. Max can see the vulnerability in her eyes as Chloe takes one of her hands in her own. “Max… I love everything we do together. I love just… being around you.”

“Me too,” the brunette replies softly after a moment, smiling. “What happened with your date though?”

“It was about as bad as I thought it would be.” Chloe groans.

“Why did you agree to it then?” Max asks, the confusion evident in her voice.

“Because Eliot wouldn’t shut up about it. He’s been trying to ask me out for months. I figured if I just said yes and went out with him once, then he’d leave me alone.”

“Was it really that bad?”

The older girl shrugs. “He was so awkward, more so than usual. And it was boring. Not to mention I’m not even into him like that.” Chloe sighs and leans back against the wall. Despite how dark it is in the room, Max can still see a faint blush on her cheeks. When Chloe speaks again, her voice is low and hesitant. “The whole time… I just kept thinking about how I wish you were with me instead.”

“What? like… on a date with me?” Max asks teasingly.

Chloe doesn’t respond immediately and looks away, fiddling with the laces on one of her shoes. Wait… Does she...?

“I-I mean,” the blonde finally answers and Max can’t believe how shy she’s acting as she barely meets the brunette’s eyes. “W-would that be so... bad?”

“I-I…” 

“D-don’t answer that Max,” Chloe cuts in before the younger girl can really think about it. She rolls over on her side to hide her face. “It was a stupid question. I was just… thinking out loud.”

Max stares at the other girl’s back for a moment, wondering what she’s feeling and trying to think of what to say. Was she really asking if I wanted to date her? Would I want to? I mean, we already spend a lot of time together, but dating means kissing and doing couples things. Does she want to do those things with me? Ugh, I’ve never really thought about this stuff before. And Chloe never brings it up, we just haven’t really talked about boys and dating… or girls and dating. How am I supposed to know what if that’s what I’d want?

The silence stretches out between them, one of the few awkward silences Max can remember them sharing as she gets lost in her thoughts. After a few minutes, Chloe sits up and moves to the edge of the bed. “I’m uh… gonna head home,” Chloe says, lacking any of her usual self-assuredness as she stands and moves towards the window.

“Wait, Chloe?” Max asks while she stands and reaches out for one of Chloe’s hands.

“Yeah?” The older girl stops, turning around.

“Do you want to stay and watch a movie? I’ve got some chocolates too.” The light from the laptop casts just enough light for Max to see Chloe’s lips curl up into a goofy smile. 

“Sure.” Chloe answers, taking her black, spiked hoodie off and dropping it on the ground before taking her sneakers off. Max climbs back on the bed and tries to fix the pillows to make room for the blonde. “What are we watching?” Chloe inquires as she sits next to the brunette, accepting half the blanket for them to share.

“Well I was watching Final Fantasy, but we can watch something else.” Max states as she places the laptop and bag of chocolates between them. 

“Nah, this is good. It’s your favorite movie right?” Chloe asks rhetorically as she pops a chocolate into her mouth. She scoots a little closer as Max resumes playing the movie. Max pays little mind when Chloe rests her head on her shoulder. It isn’t until the credits start rolling and Max goes to ask Chloe what she wants to watch next that she realizes her friend has fallen asleep. Not wanting to disturb the other girl, she places the laptop and empty bag on the floor and lays down on her side, facing the blonde. 

She spends all night thinking about that question until exhaustion finally takes her.

March 11, 2010

“I don’t know Chloe, what if I start freaking out or something?” Max asks nervously as she wrings her hands in her lap, watching Chloe work. The afternoon sun shines through the makeshift windows of their old tree house. The blonde has taken it upon herself to try and clean it up since David started spending more time at her house. It’s one of the few places she can relax and get away from everything. 

“Dude relax, you’re not gonna freak out. I made sure Frank gave me a mellow strain.” Chloe answers back from her spot next to the brunette as she rolls the weed she’d bought specifically for today. “This’ll just relax you a bit.”

Max watches as her friend licks the rolling paper of the last joint, sealing it with practiced expertise. She adjusts the blanket draped over her lap again. Even though it’d been a rather warm week for the Pacific Northwest in March, the weight helps to calm her a bit. “What if my parents find out?”

“They won’t.” Chloe shrugs the question off as she puts the extra weed back in her bag, leaving just a couple joints out for them. She glances up to meet her friend’s eyes and sees the worried look on her face. “Max, you don’t have to smoke if you don’t want to. Really it’s cool, I won’t pressure you.”

Max gazes into the blonde’s eyes. Those light blue orbs have always been a source of comfort for her. Chloe gives her a sincere smile, one that has convinced Max to step outside her comfort zone on numerous occasions before. The brunette releases a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “I want to try it.”

Chloe’s face splits into a large grin, the kind that has been making Max’s chest feel tight lately. “Yes! Maxie’s gonna pop her weed cherry.” 

The young photographer can’t help but laugh. “You’re such a dork,” she says, giving the older girl a playful shove.

“Says the biggest dork in Arcadia. Now let’s get this party started.” Chloe picks up one of the joints and fits it between her lips before grabbing her lighter. She lights the tip of the joint and takes a long drag, holding the smoke in her throat for a moment before exhaling it out. “Ready?” she questions, holding the joint out towards her friend.

Max nods and carefully accepts the proffered joint. “Just suck in a little and hold it in for a few seconds.” Chloe instructs, watching the brunette closely. Max places her lips around the joint and takes a short drag. She does her best to hold the smoke in but almost immediately coughs most of it out. She tries to salvage it by holding a little bit in for a couple seconds before she has to release it with another cough. “Not bad for your first try.” Chloe states as she takes the joint back.

The brunette grabs one of the water bottles they’d brought with them and chugs a bit of it. “Eugh, that tastes horrible.” 

“You kind of get used to it,” the blonde shrugs after taking another drag. “Ready for another?” Again the brunette nods, taking the joint back. “Try not to suck it all the way in.” 

Her second attempt is more successful, being able to hold all the smoke in for several seconds before releasing it with just a couple small coughs. “How long does it take to feel it?” She asks as she passes the joint back.

“Shouldn’t take long,” Chloe pauses to take another drag, burning the joint almost to the bottom. “Another hit and we’ll see how you’re feeling.”

Max carefully takes the joint back, taking a slightly longer drag than before. She passes it back to Chloe who finishes it off before putting the joint out by dropping it in an old coffee can. She moves over to lean against the plank wood wall next to the brunette. They sit quietly for a couple minutes, just listening to the sounds of the forest around them. 

It’s when she notices Max lifting up the blanket on her lap, examining it intensely, that she turns her head to look at the girl. “How’re you feeling Maxie?” 

“It’s really soft.” She answers, not taking her eyes off the blanket as she continues to run her hands over the material. 

The blonde can’t help but giggle at her friend. “I guess that means it’s working.” Max leans back, closing her eyes and letting out a long breath, relaxing her body. “Hey, don’t fall asleep on me now.”

“I won’t. I just… feel fuzzy.” Her lips curl up into a big smile. Chloe once again bursts into another fit of giggles. “What’s so funny?” Max questions, opening her eyes and looking at her friend. 

“You, you adorkable little pothead.”

The exaggerated pout Max gives her only makes Chloe laugh even louder. “I’m not a pothead. You’re the pothead.” Max corrects, poking her friend in the side.

“Okay, okay, you’re right. Stop poking me.” 

The young photographer smiles triumphantly as the blonde comes down from her laughing fit. They gaze into each other’s eyes for a moment. “Your eyes are so pretty,” Max blurts out. “Sooo Bluuuue.”

“Oh man, this is turning out to be a great birthday.” Chloe chuckles 

Max’s eyes go wide, “Oh shoot,” she panics, scrambling to stand up and moving over to the corner where she’d left her messenger bag. “I can’t believe I almost forgot.” She digs through her bag until she pulls out a small rectangular package wrapped in decorative paper. “Sorry, it’s nothing special.” She apologizes as she sits back down next to the birthday girl. “Happy sweet sixteen.”

“You didn’t have to Max,” Chloe replies as she takes the package and begins tearing away the wrapping paper. She’s left with a thick black book sitting in her lap after she tosses away the last of the wrapping paper. Careful handwriting in gold ink that reads ‘The Pirates of Arcadia Bay’ decorates the cover along with a skull and crossbones, treasure chest and a goofy drawing of the two friends as pirates.

“Dude this is awesome!” The excited punk shouts as she opens the cover, seeing a picture of the two of them and William dressed up as pirates on the first page. “Dad was such a goof.” She comments through a pained smile. She turns the pages – seeing several other pictures – all of which contain Chloe and Max together, sometimes with their parents. 

“I got a few pictures from Joyce and my mom, but the rest are all pictures I’ve taken.” Max explains shyly as Chloe flips the page and sees one of the first photos Max had taken with her own polaroid of Chloe at the lighthouse. 

“Max Caulfield’s first professional album, this’ll be worth a ton of money someday.” The blonde jokes, getting a slight blush out of her friend.

“They’re not that good.” Max replies as she grips her right elbow nervously.

“Bullshit! These are seriously awesome.”

Chloe continues looking through the album until she reaches a blank page half way through. “Empty pages for our future adventures around the world,” Max explains.

“Hell yeah,” Chloe replies as she closes the album and sets it aside. “Thanks Maximush,” she says as she turns and wraps her arms around the brunette in a tight hug, “You’re the best.” She catches the younger girl by surprise a bit when she kisses her cheek before breaking the hug.

Max isn’t sure if the warmth in her cheeks was brought on by the kiss or the high she can feel starting to wane. She decides to pay it little mind as she leans back against the wall of the fort. Next to her, Chloe picks up the second joint and lights it, taking a drag before offering it to Max. The brunette considers it for a moment before accepting and taking a small hit. She takes one more hit before feeling her high come on stronger than before and shakes her head when Chloe offers it to her again.

“We need to get some music going,” Chloe speaks up after a few minutes. “I feel like stage diving!”

The photographer can’t help but laugh at the other girl. “When have you ever stage dived?”

“Shut up, I’ll do it someday,” The blonde replies as she fiddles with an old battery powered radio. Once she finds a station she likes, she stands up, the ceiling only inches from the top of her head and starts dancing in place. “C’mon Max, dance with me!” She reaches out her arms, taking hold of the brunette’s wrists and helping her to her feet.

“N-noo, I can’t dance.” Max protests but otherwise lets herself be pulled to her feet.

“When has that ever stopped you before? We used to dance in my room all the time.” Chloe counters as she continues to hold the girl’s hands, swaying their arms around in an attempt to get Max to dance.

“When we were little kids,” Max argues, though she can’t stop giggling.

“It’s just us, no one’s gonna see you flailing about.”

Max lets out an exaggerated sigh as she gives in and starts moving her hips awkwardly. “Finee.”

“Yes!” Chloe cheers triumphantly. “Shake that booty girl.” Max quickly stops caring and eventually loses herself as they dance like idiots. The whole time Chloe refuses to let go of the brunette, always keeping at least one hand in contact. Max occasionally catches glimpses through her loose hair flipping around at Chloe. The older girl’s eyes are fixated on her with a soft vulnerable smile she never shows around anyone else. It makes her stomach flutter in a way she’s never felt before, but she’s having too much fun to dwell on the strange feeling.

“Well, it’s about time the guest of honor arrives,” Joyce says from behind the counter as Max and Chloe step into the diner. “Go take your seats, I’ll be there in a minute.” The sun had already started to go down when they left their fort, seeking food for their rumbling bellies, and it’s fully dark by the time they reached the Two Whales. The diner rush is well underway with most of the diner full. Luckily though, the girls are still able to claim their usual booth as they saunter over to it.

They sit down opposite each other and as soon as they do, Max starts playing with a spoon, trying to get it to stay on her nose. Chloe bursts into laughter at the girl’s antics but quickly tries to grab the spoon out of her hands when she spots her mom walking towards them. “Dude, calm down or my mom’s gonna notice you’re high.” Chloe whisper-yells at the brunette who immediately pouts and crosses her arms over her chest in an exaggerated fashion. “Uh, hey mom.”

“How’s my birthday girl doing?” Joyce smiles as she reaches their table.

“Starving,” Chloe answers, her stomach punctuating the statement with a growl. 

“I can gather that,” The older Price woman smirks upon hearing the grumble. “And how’re you doing Max?” She asks, turning her attention to the brunette who has found another spoon and is trying to hold it on her nose but is once again having trouble keeping herself from giggling.

“Hungry enough to eat an entire cow,” Max answers once she finally succeeds in the spoon sticking.

Joyce immediately turns to look at her daughter, raising an eyebrow at her. Chloe shrinks a bit under her gaze, realizing she’s been busted. “Well what can I get you girls to eat?”

“Bacon cheeseburger with extra fries and onion rings please,” Chloe answers, with a hopeful grin.

“Only because it’s your birthday,” Joyce agrees before turning to the brunette again. “And for you young lady, what will satisfy your munchies?” She asks with a knowing look.

“The same please,” Max giggles out.

“Alright Maxie Jane,” Joyce says before turning back to her daughter with her usual smile to let Chloe know she'll be in trouble later. “I’m off in forty so just sit tight once you finish your dinner and then we can go home and do your cake and presents.”

“Sure mom.”

“And we’ll talk about this later,” the older Price warns, pointing between the girls before heading back behind the counter to deliver their order.

Chloe looks back over at Max’s sheepish expression. “Busted,” the younger girl laughs, not showing any hint of worry. The blonde shakes her head with a chuckle before reaching across and grabbing the spoon from the other girl’s nose. “Hey!” Max complains.

Chloe opens her eyes and sighs in frustration at another seemingly sleepless night. She glances at the clock on the shelf next to her bed seeing it read 2:14am. She’s been tossing and turning for over an hour, unable to quiet her mind.

She turns over onto her right side and is met with Max’s calm face as she sleeps, completely unaware of the turbulent emotions swirling within the blonde. The brunette has always been a calming presence for her, but she’s also become a source of restlessness lately. She can no longer deny the way she feels about her best friend, but that doesn’t make it any easier to live with those emotions.

Chloe’s heart aches when she’s away from Max, but it aches even more when she’s with her. It’s like a constant nagging, wanting to be by her side. Her smile sets her stomach a flutter and her laughter fills her heart with joy. Her fingers crave the feeling of the brunette’s skin. Her lips hungered to taste Max’s lips. Her dreams, both when asleep and awake, have become filled with her desire for the other girl. All things Chloe can’t bring herself to tell her.

I wish dad was here. He’d know what I should do. Her chest tightens as she gazes at Max’s face, gently lit by the moonlight pouring in through the window. The brunette has taken to wearing her hair down more, something that thrills the blonde. Without thinking, her left hand reaches out and begins twirling the chestnut locks that lay across the girl’s shoulder around her finger. She bites her lip as a few stray hairs fall across Max’s face. She moves to brush them away but quickly pulls her hand back when the brunette stirs.

“Chloe…?” Max’s sleepy voice makes her cheeks flush.

“Sorry… go back to sleep,” Chloe whispers as one of the girl’s eyes opens, lazily meeting her own.

“Can’t sleep?” The younger girl asks as she opens her other eye, moving slightly to see the blonde better.

“Can’t stop thinking.” Chloe answers with a shrug before looking away.

“About what?” When the blonde remains quiet, Max pushes herself up on her elbow, trying to meet her eyes. “You can tell me anything.”

“It’s nothing,” Chloe mutters, turning away from the brunette. “Just go to sleep Max.”

The brunette lays back down with a disappointed huff and for a few minutes, neither of them speaks. It’s one of the first truly uncomfortable silences they have ever shared. “I might be younger than you, but I’m not a child.” Max grumbles, unable to keep the hurt out of her voice.

“I know Max.”

“Then why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

“Because I can’t talk to you about this.” Chloe says, raising her voice slightly and sitting up to look at Max. Her heart falls when she sees the hurt look on the girl’s face. “I’m sorry, I just…I-I...” She tries to fight the rising emotions within her, to reign them in before she makes the mistake of saying them out loud. Her eyes shimmer as tears threaten to fall. Max quickly sits up and pulls her into a hug. “I-I… fuck.” Chloe tries to resist the urge to hug her back, to squeeze her tight, to tell her how she feels and do so much more.

Max eventually pulls back enough to meet the blonde’s eyes, watching a single tear roll down her cheek. “I know there’s something you’ve been afraid to tell me for a while now.” Max starts slowly, choosing her words with obvious care. “And, I… think I know what it is… But I don’t want to pressure you into telling me.”

When Chloe remains quiet, Max bites her lip and decides to continue. “I uhm… I was using your computer to look something up for homework, a while ago…” The blonde gives her a confused look before her eyes go wide, knowing where she might be going with her story. “You never close your tabs… and there was a video… of two girls.” Chloe can feel her face burning. “Chloe, I don’t care if you’re… gay- or I guess lesbian… or whatever. It doesn’t matter to me. And you don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable. I just want you to know that I love you no matter what. You’re my best friend and nothing will ever change that.” 

Chloe collapses into Max’s arms as she sobs, burying her face in the brunette’s shoulder. Max does her best to try and comfort the girl, holding her tight. It takes several minutes for the older girl to calm down enough to talk again, as they lay back down on their sides. “I… I’ve known I… like girls, for a couple years. I wanted to talk to you about it, but I didn’t know how you would react. If it might weird you out.” Chloe says at last, releasing a shaky breath as a weight is lifted from her shoulders.

“I thought so. It doesn’t weird me out. I mean… at least you know your… preference.” Max trails off at the end, receiving a confused look from the blonde.

“Wait, you don’t know… who you’re attracted to?”

“I-I guess I like boys but…”

“But?” 

Max shrugs, biting her lip and lowering her gaze. “I don’t know? H-how did you figure out you liked girls?”

“I just kind of knew.” 

“That’s not very helpful,” Max sighs.

“Sorry,” Chloe chuckles. “You’re kind of a late bloomer anyways Max. You’ll know when you know.” The brunette pouts and Chloe can’t help but laugh even more. Silence hangs over them for a couple minutes after Chloe stops laughing.

 Feeling emboldened after her confession, Chloe reaches out and brushes some of the brunette’s hair behind her ear as they lock eyes. Their faces are only a few inches apart, a few inches that she desperately wants to close. Her heart clenches in that familiar way as she looks into those deep blue eyes, like the sea reflecting the moonlight off their surfaces. She starts to lean forward, closing the distance without thinking. Her eyes flick down to Max’s lips before darting back up. She licks her lips, her mouth suddenly dry. She’s so close she can feel the brunette’s breath on her face. She closes her eyes.

Their lips meet for a brief moment that sends an electric shock through Chloe’s body. Throwing caution aside, she immediately kisses the brunette again, moving her lips experimentally. Her heart flutters with excitement. Then something occurs to her. Max isn’t kissing back. Chloe’s eyes open and are met with a wide-eyed stare. 

“Oh, fuck.” Chloe gasps and sits up. Max stays, frozen in place with a look of surprise on her face. “Oh fuck fuck fuck. I-I’m sorry,” she mutters as she rolls over to the edge of the bed, covering her head with her pillow. Her heart wrenches, tightening in her chest, more painful than she's felt before as she tries not to cry. “I’m sorry.”

Max’s heart thunders in her chest and her limbs feel like they are made out of lead. The room is silent as she lays awake in the dark. The only sound is the unsteady breathing of her best friend lying next to her, hitching occasionally as she fights back a sob.

Chloe kissed me . 

She touches her lips and stares up at the ceiling as the breathing next to her eventually becomes steady and slower. 

My first kiss.

Eventually she falls asleep, a confusion of emotions swirling within her.

Both girl’s are unusually quiet as they get ready for class the next day. Every accidental touch makes one or both of them flinch. Max can’t concentrate in any of her classes, not like she’s very good at it to begin with. She keeps replaying the events of the early morning over and over in her head, trying to figure out how it makes her feel.

“Is something wrong kiddo?” Max’s father asks as they sit at the dinner table that night.

Max hadn’t realized just how much she’s been spacing out as she looks down at her plate with only a couple bites missing. She sets her fork down and slumps back in her chair. “Just not hungry.”

“Did something happen at school?” Her mom asks, concerned. 

Max shakes her head. “We uh, had a party in class… ate too many cookies,” she lies before she grabs her plate and moves to stand up.

“Hold on a minute Max,” Ryan speaks up, raising a hand to signal her to sit back down. He glances over to Vanessa who nods. “We need to talk to you about something.”

The brunette releases her plate and sits back in her chair, figuring Joyce must have called her parents and told them about her smoking pot. She begins worrying her hands in her lap, fearing the worst. Shit, I knew I shouldn’t have smoked it. Chloe wouldn’t have pressured me, I should have just said no. Then another thought occurs to her. Wait, what if they know Chloe kissed me? Don’t be stupid Max, how could they possibly know about that?

“You remember how I was offered the promotion in Seattle a couple years ago?” Her father continues, unaware of his daughter’s panicked thoughts.

“Y-yeah?” Max answers, confused and taken aback that it isn’t about what she was expecting.

“The guy that I was supposed to replace had postponed his retirement as they rebuilt the office after the fire and got things running smoothly again.” He pauses for a moment.

“What does that have to do with me?”

“Well,” Ryan starts again, speaking slowly in a way that has Max feeling anxious. “Now that the Seattle office is up and running smoothly again and on track to catch up, He’s decided to finally take his delayed retirement.” He pauses once again, and Max fears the words he’ll speak next. “So, our original plan to move to Seattle is back in play. We’ll be moving at the end of the month.”

The news hits her like a freight train and her heart sinks straight through her stomach. “W-what?”

Chapter Text

April 17, 2010

Sk8tr.g1rl 1:52PM: Look who's finally online.

Sk8tr.g1rl: I was starting to think you were dead.

Sk8tr.g1rl 1:54PM: Or just didn’t want to talk to me anymore.

N0ir_Angel 1:58PM: I’m sorry.

N0ir_Angel: We didn’t have internet for a week.

Sk8tr.g1rl 2:03PM: Coulda texted.

N0ir_Angel 2:05PM: Right, sorry.

N0ir_Angel: I’ve been really busy with the move and trying to get used to the new school.

N0ir_Angel: It sucks changing schools towards the end of the year.

Sk8tr.g1rl 2:11PM: Sucks so much you couldn’t answer a simple text and let me know you were still alive?

N0ir_Angel 2:13PM: ;(

N0ir_Angel: I’m sorry Chloe, I suck.

Sk8tr.g1rl 2:19PM: No, I’m sorry, I’m being a dick.

N0ir_Angel: You’re right though.

N0ir_Angel: The least I could have done is answer your texts.

N0ir_Angel: I just…

Sk8tr.g1rl 2:21PM: I know, it’s hard.

Sk8tr.g1rl 2:25PM: I miss you so much Max.

N0ir_Angel: I miss you too.

Sk8tr.g1rl: Of course you do.

Sk8tr.g1rl: None of those Seattle bitches can replace me.

N0ir_Angel: Never.

Sk8tr.g1rl 2:32PM: So, how’s the big city?

N0ir_Angel 2:34PM: It’s okay I guess.

N0ir_Angel: My parents have been really busy with work so I haven’t gotten to see much yet.

Sk8tr.g1rl: You can’t go explore without them?

N0ir_Angel 2:38PM: I could…

Sk8tr.g1rl 2:40PM: Too overwhelming?

N0ir_Angel 2:43PM: Yeah.

N0ir_Angel: It wouldn’t be if you were here with me.

Sk8tr.g1rl 2:46PM: You’re just overthinking it Max.

Sk8tr.g1rl: Just grab your camera and your bike and forget about everything else.

Sk8tr.g1rl: All those people are just subjects on the other side of your lens.

N0ir_Angel 2:52PM: Maybe…

Sk8tr.g1rl: You’re braver than you think.

Sk8tr.g1rl: Believe in the me that believes in you.

N0ir_Angel: You’re such a nerd.

Sk8tr.g1rl: Most badass nerd in all of Arcadia.

N0ir_Angel: Definitely.

N0ir_Angel 3:01PM: Okay, maybe I’ll ride to the nearest park or something.

Sk8tr.g1rl: Atta girl.

N0ir_Angel 3:04PM: Thanks Chloe.

Sk8tr.g1rl: Quit messaging me and go make Seattle your bitch.

Sk8tr.g1rl: I expect to see photos soon.

N0ir_Angel: Sure.

N0ir_Angel: Text you later?

Sk8tr.g1rl: You better.

N0ir_Angel logged off 3:06PM

Chloe closes her laptop and pushes it away from her on the bed. Leaning back against the wall, she stares straight ahead silently. Dark shadows cast across the room, despite the time of day, very little light penetrated her curtains. Her heart is heavy as she runs her tongue over her lips, trying to remember the feel and taste of one fleeting moment.

She feels around the sheets, locating the remote for her old Hi-Fi and pressing play. As Surrender by Billy Talent fills the room, Chloe reaches under her bed and pulls out the metal box she keeps her weed in. A couple minutes later she takes her first hit off the freshly rolled joint, leaning back against the wall once again. The house is thankfully empty so she can turn up her music to block out the sound of her sobs.

June 22nd 2010

Well diary, it’s another boring day. I burned through all my film and now there’s not much to do until I get more allowance. What could I say though? Market Street was just so awesome. So many different vendors, I could spend all day taking photographs. Oh wait, I already did. I can’t wait to show these to Chloe and see what she thinks.

I wonder what we’d be doing if I hadn’t moved. All day Mario Kart Marathon? Or maybe we’d hit up the skate park next to the pier so I could take some awesome shots of Chloe on her board. Then we’d go swimming in the ocean to cool off and visit The Two Whales for the best burgers in Oregon.

Max sighs as she fantasizes about being reunited with her best friend.

I asked my parents about visiting Chloe again but no luck. Mom started a new job finally and says she’s on-call and can’t take any time off. And dad’s been working crazy hours. I even asked if I could take a bus by myself but they said I was too young. And I know money is tight for Joyce, so it’s not like I can ask if Chloe could come up here.

Speaking of Joyce, Chloe said David proposed to her. I can understand why Chloe’s upset about it. Okay, more than upset by the way she screamed my ear off over the phone the other day. It hasn’t even been two years since William… passed, and already Joyce is getting remarried. The way Chloe describes it, he’s gotten worse about being on her case ever since he moved in. I don’t know what Joyce sees in David, but I guess he must make her happy.

I had that dream again last night, though it was a little different. This time Chloe and I were in our old pirate fort. The rest was mostly the same. We were listening to music like we had that day, talking and laughing. Then suddenly Chloe takes my hands in hers, she leans in and kisses me. I can’t remember anything after that, or if I kissed her back.

Chloe and I never talked about what happened after that night. The move made it hard to even think about it. I guess neither of us wanted to waste what little time we had left. I wonder if she thinks about it as much as I do? Did she really mean it? I mean, friends don’t kiss, right? 

I was so surprised when Chloe kissed me. I didn’t know what to do and I totally froze up. I heard her crying after and trying to hold it in. She must have felt horrible, and I just lay there uselessly. I should have said something, anything. To let her know it was okay. That I wasn’t mad about it.

I just wish I knew what it meant for her. What would have happened if I’d stayed? Would she have kissed me again? Would I want her to kiss me again?

Max sets her pen down and holds a hand up to her heart. She can feel a familiar tightness in her chest. The same feeling she gets every time she thinks about Chloe lately. At first, I just thought it was because I missed her, she thinks to herself. But now… After a moment, her hand drifts up, fingertips lightly touching her lips.

October 2010

“Dude, Eliot’s been so weird.” Chloe states into the phone’s receiver as she lays back on her bed, taking a drag of her joint and blowing out a smoke ring towards the ceiling. A small fan is propped up in the window next to her bed to blow the pot smoke out into the afternoon sun. Punk music quietly plays out of the Hi-Fi.

“Hasn’t he always been weird?” Max’s slightly distorted voice asks from the other end of the line.

“Well yeah. But he’s been, like, extra weird.”

“Okay,” Max replies after a slight pause. “Care to explain more?”

“He keeps talking like you’re gone.” Chloe says, frustratedly.

“... I am gone.”

“Well yeah, but he talks like you just up and disappeared and now he’s my only friend. He goes out of his way to point out that you moved away. And he asked me out again.”

“Okay, yeah that is weird.”

“Exactly,” Chloe exclaims as she blows out another puff of smoke.

“What’d you tell him? Does he know you’re a…”

“Lesbian?” The blonde finishes when Max hesitates.

“Y-yeah…”

“It’s cool dude, you can call me that.”

“I-I just didn’t want to assume.” Max replies shyly.

Chloe shrugs before realizing the brunette can’t actually see her. “Mighty Max, I don’t care what you call me. Lesbian, gay, sapphic, muff diver, carpet muncher, puss-”

“Okay, okay, I get it. You don’t have to be so graphic Chloe.” Despite her protests, Max can’t stop herself from giggling.

“I could go on. I spent like an hour the other day looking up all the different names on Urban Dictionary.”

“How ‘bout I just call you Chloe?”

“Aww, did I make little Maxipad blush?” Chloe teases.

“Shut up! And eww, never call me that again.”

“Aww, I miss seeing you blush. Those cute freckled cheeks turning bright red and big doe eyes growing even bigger,” Chloe says with a sigh as she feels her heart ache a bit.

“Uhm…” Max’s voice comes through faintly and Chloe almost bolts up in her bed.

“...I just said that out loud, didn’t I?”

“Yep.”

“Shit, stupid weed,” Chloe curses under her breath, hearing the brunette giggle over the phone. “Anyways, what about you Maxie, anyone steal your little hipster heart yet?”

“I am not a hipster!” Max scoffs.

“That polaroid you showed me the other day of you sitting in that very hipster coffee shop drinking your fancy coffee says otherwise. You totally fit in with the exposed rafters and mismatched furniture.”

“... Whatever, punk” Max sighs, giving up all too easily to Chloe. 

“Punks are cool. And you haven’t answered my question.”

Chloe can hear another sigh come through the line. “I don’t know. There’s a couple of skater boys that are kind of cute I guess.” The blonde does her best to ignore the sinking feeling in her chest. “But they’re Sophomores, and it’s not like they even know I exist. I’m just the quiet weird girl who takes photos. And they’ve got plenty of prettier Skater Bettys hanging around them.”

“You’re not weird Max. I mean you are, but you’re an awesome kind of weird, which means you’re actually interesting. And I bet you’re prettier than all of those bitches. You just have to find your confidence, girl. Then the whole world will bow to you.”

“That’ll be the day,” and she can practically hear the brunette rolling her eyes. “But, thanks Chloe.”

“I wouldn’t be a very good side-kick and bodyguard if I let you beat yourself up.”

Chloe can hear a light chuckling through the phone before both girls go quiet for a moment. “Hey Chloe,” Max’s voice finally breaks the silence with an unusual shyness. “If I hadn’t moved… would you have-”

“Chloe!” David’s voice booms from downstairs, cutting off whatever Max was saying. “I’m coming up there! We need to talk!” 

“Fuck! Step-fuhrer’s pissed about something. I gotta go Max.”

“Okay Chloe. Text me later?” Max’s voice is filled with concern, knowing all too well how the blonde’s stepfather can get.

“Chloe!” David’s voice practically shakes the windows as he pounds on her bedroom door. “Open this door immediately!”

“Just a minute, I’m changing!” Chloe yells back before quickly whispering into the phone. “Yeah I’ll text you once I’m rid of this asshole.” She doesn’t bother waiting to hear Max’s response before hanging up and dropping the device on the bed. She hears more banging and yelling at the door as she quickly shoves her spent joint and ashtray under the bed and spritzes a bit of deodorant. After a quick glance to make sure she hasn’t left any incriminating evidence in plain view, she readies herself for the inescapable shouting match to come.

February 2011

Max sits on the edge of her bed, staring at her phone in her hands. She’s pulled up her text thread with Chloe, rereading through their last messages for clues. She’s certain she said something to upset the blonde, though she can’t tell what from their texts. All she can see is that Chloe hasn’t responded to any of her texts for almost a week. She’s even called several times but her calls go straight to voicemail each time.

Face it Max, Chloe doesn’t want to talk to a loser like you anymore. It’s been almost a year since you moved, of course she’s made new friends and she’s moving on with her life. 

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out her negative thoughts. C’mon Max, you know Chloe wouldn’t just ghost you. She’s probably been too busy, or maybe she lost her phone. Just call Joyce like you planned and ask her.

She navigates back to her contact’s list and pulls up the number for the Price’s home phone. Max takes a steadying breath before hitting the call button and holding the device up to her ear. It only rings a couple times before she hears the line pick up and a familiar southern drawl.

“Price-Madsens.”

“H-hey Joyce,” the brunette says, nervously.

“Max? My, it’s been a while since I’ve heard your voice. How’s the big city treating you?”

“It’s taken some getting used to, but I like having so much to see. How’ve you been?”

“Oh, same old same old. I’m guessing you didn’t call to talk to me though.”

“Oh, erm, well…” Max hears a familiar chuckle as she stammers.

“It’s alright hun, although I’m afraid to say-” Joyce’s voice cuts off suddenly and Max can just barely hear what sounds like a door closing, followed by muffled voices. “Well look what the cat brought in.”

“And threw up on the carpet,” A second feminine voice that Max would recognize anywhere answers, sounding far away. 

“And just where have you been the last couple days?”

“With a friend.” 

Max’s stomach flips and a sense of dread grips her. I knew it, she’s replaced me.

“And you couldn’t bother to at least call and let me know where you were?”

“Moo~m.”

“Don’t ‘mom’ me. We’ll talk later. Max is on the phone for you.”

“Oh shit,” The brunette in question hears shuffling before the second voice speaks to her clearly. “ Max?! Fuck, give me a minute, I’ll call you on my cell. Promise.”

“O-okay,” Max barely gets out before the line goes dead. Thankfully she doesn’t have to wait long as her phone’s screen lights up a couple minutes later with Chloe’s picture. “Chloe?” She asks, holding the device back up to her ear.

“The one and only,” the blonde’s cheerful voice calls out through the receiver, surprisingly sounding more lively than usual. A change which lifts Max’s own spirits. “Uh, what’s up?”

“I just… wanted to make sure everything was okay. I didn’t hear from you and...” Max says weakly, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Fuck. Sorry Max, the past week was… kind of crazy. I haven’t been home much so my phone was dead most of the time. I promise I wasn’t ignoring you.”

“I-it’s okay. I figured there was a good reason. Which I-I’d like to hear… if you want.” 

“Well I know mom’s going to lecture me, so the more I can put that off the better.” There’s a slight pause and Max can hear some rustling noises followed by the sound of a lighter. “So Thursday I went to the old mill to see this local band, Pisshead. I know, gross name, but they actually kind of rock.”

Max moves to sit more comfortably against the wall behind her bed, feeling more at ease knowing Chloe hadn’t intentionally ignored her. “How’d you get in?”

“I verbally abused a three hundred pound Samoan. The whole place is shady as fuck, probably illegal anyways, no one even bat an eye when I grabbed a beer and started drinking.”

“Chloe…”

“Chillax Max, I’m barely getting started. Anyways, I was just minding my own business, thrashing, and some skeevy assholes tried to corner me, yelling something about spilt beer. When who should appear but Rachel Fucking Amber, the hottest and most popular girl in Blackhell. I took advantage of her distraction to knee skeevy asshole number one in the dick and then ran for it.”

“Jeezus Chloe. I’m glad you got away safely at least.” Max sighs in relief.

“Well… I did maybe get a black eye in the process. But that’s not important. What is important, is that Rachel and I totally spent the rest of the night rocking out.” There’s another pause, during which Max can hear the other girl taking a drag of a cigarette. “And it didn’t just end there. Rachel found me at school the next day and we ended up ditching to go hang out in a junkyard.”

“Very classy,” Max chuckles before her voice takes on a more serious tone. “What about your scholarship though? Aren’t you on a strict adherence policy?”

“Mom covered for me, said I was sick. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna blow my scholarship. The sooner I graduate the sooner I can get out of this shithole and go to an out of state college.”

“M-maybe you could go to one of the colleges up here.” Max suggests, feeling hopeful with a small fluttering in her stomach. “We could go to the same school again.”

“Or maybe we could attend one in California. That’s where Rachel wants to go.” Something about the way Chloe says it makes the brunette frown. “Apparently she grew up in L.A. and really wants to go back there. We even talked about getting out of here soon and just driving down the coast. But that idea was quickly put on hold.”

Max sits upright, hardly believing her ears. “You were gonna run away?”

“...Maybe?”

“What about school, or your mom? Where would you even go? How would you pay for things?”

“Woah, woah, easy Maximum worry,” Chloe cuts in. “Like I said, we kind of realized it wouldn’t happen like that. At the very least we need time to save up money.”

“How are you going to do that, get a job?” The photographer’s comment is met with silence.

“Something like that…”

“Chloe,” Max groans, knowing she isn’t going to like the answer.

“Max.”

“Please tell me you talked to Joyce about working at The Two Whales part-time.”

“Hella no! Can you imagine me as a waitress?” 

Max takes a moment to conjure up a picture in her head of the blonde wearing a similar skirt and apron like Joyce. Said image brings a smile to her lips. “I’m totally picturing you wearing an apron right now.”

“You better be picturing me with clothes on under that apron, perv.” Chloe jokingly threatens.

“That wouldn’t be as fun.” The brunette jokes before her imagination does exactly as Chloe warned her not to and the image brings a flush to her cheeks. Oh my dog, what am I thinking?

“Of course not, I am pretty hot… Wait… what?”

The blonde’s confusion gives Max enough time to catch herself. “S-so what uhm… What happened after friday?”

“Oh, right…” Max breathes out a small sigh of relief as the blonde picks up from where she’d gotten side-tracked. Chloe spends what feels like hours, describing the events of several days. From getting to know Rachel and connecting over each other’s trauma, to a heated dinner with Rachel’s parents.

“Wait, so she had no idea the woman who had raised her wasn’t her real mom?”

“Nope. I guess Rach was too young to remember and they hid it from her her whole life.”

“I’m sure they had their reasons. Maybe they just wanted to wait until she was older and could understand it better. I mean, how would you feel if you grew up knowing one of the people raising you isn’t your real parent?”

“It’s not just that though Max…” 

Chloe continues her story, explaining how she and her new friend snuck around the house trying to find information about Rachel’s mother, including breaking into her father’s office. It’s there they found police reports, detailing how the body of Rachel’s mother had been found and how the ABPD traced the cause of death to murder by overdose.

“Poor Rachel…”

“At least that drug dealer got what he deserved. The cops raided his house and killed him in the process. It’s kind of crazy to think that all happened under our noses last year and I wasn’t even aware of it.”

“How is Rachel handling it?”

“I guess it’s hard to miss a parent you never knew. But she’s hella pissed at her parents, her dad especially. She’s talking about moving into the dorms at Blackhell, pretty much has her dad onboard.”

“Wowser…” Max mutters, trying to make sense of everything she’s heard over the last hour.

“Yeah. Anyways, that’s all the depressing shit out of the way.”

“I can see why you were so busy,” Max says as the line goes quiet for a moment. “When did you start saying ‘hella?’”

“I-I, may have picked it up from Rachel.”

“I kind of feel like I know her already. Think I’ll get to meet her if I can talk my parents into letting me visit?”

“Dude, you two would totally hit it off. She’s into acting and wants to be a model, so I’m sure you could geek out with her over photography. I’ll ask if she wants to join our next Skype sesh so you can meet her, erh, digitally.” 

“Sounds good.”

“Shit, mom’s calling for me. Text you later?”

“Sure, bye Chloe.”

Max sits on her bed with her legs crossed, tapping away at her laptop in front of her. She tries to fight back the bit of nervousness inside her. C’mon Max, it’s just a video chat with Chloe. She brings up her laptop’s webcam app to check her appearance, not something she’s normally concerned with, but she feels like she needs to look good. She plays around with her hair, redoing her ponytail again before pulling a few loose strands out to frame her face. A memory of Chloe saying she likes her hair down pops in her head and she decides to ditch the pony tail.

She finishes fussing with her hair and closes the app just as a bubbly tune plays through her laptop’s speakers, alerting her to an incoming Skype call. Taking a deep breath, Max clicks on the accept button and the call connects. The familiar background of Chloe’s room pops up on the screen and she smiles with nervous excitement for a second before a couple unexpected things catch her eye.

“What up hippie?” The owner of the first unexpected object greets her.

“Hey,” a blonde girl she doesn’t recognize also greets her.

“H-hi…” Max replies shyly, transfixed on her best friend’s hair. “Chloe, your hair…”

“Badass, right?” The punk asks, running her fingers through the new streak of blue hair that runs through her normally strawberry blonde hair. “Just did it a week ago.”

“It’s… wow.” The brunette answers lamely and she can feel her stomach fluttering. “You always talked about having blue hair.”

“I think it’s pretty hot,” The stranger sat next to Chloe states as she plays with the girl’s streaked hair, manipulating it back into place with a certain familiarity Max wouldn’t have expected.

“I kinda did it on impulse, to see how it’d look. Think I might go full blue.”

“I like it,” Max blushes slightly as she examines her friend’s appearance. “It really suits you.”

“I agree, it brings out your gorgeous eyes.” The mysterious blonde adds, catching Chloe’s attention for a second before realization dawns on her face.

“Oh, shit. I need to introduce you two. Max, this is Rachel. Rach, Max.” Chloe says, gesturing between the two girls.

“Chloe’s told me a lot about you Max. All good of course.” Rachel states, giving the brunette a big smile.

Max gives the blonde a once over, taking in her features now that she isn’t as distracted by Chloe’s hair. Her long blonde hair falls gracefully over her shoulders, framing her perfectly angled face. Her immaculate makeup makes her eyes stand out, and the blue feather earring adds contrast to her hazel eyes. “Chloe said you were beautiful. You really do look like a model.”

“Did she now?” Rachel asks, turning towards the girl sitting next to her with a smirk.

“Well yeah,” Chloe answers, rubbing the back of her neck after being put on the spot. “You are hella beautiful.”

“Aww, thanks babe,” The blonde says before leaning towards the taller girl. 

It feels like someone reached a hand into her chest and crushed her heart when Max sees their lips meet. Chloe’s eyes close automatically as her hand reaches up to cup the blonde’s cheek as the kiss grows in intensity. Max can feel her stomach drop and she tears her eyes away from the screen, unable to watch the display of affection. A switch flips in her mind, and suddenly she realizes why she gets nervous every time she talks to her best friend. Max. You idiot.

The clearing of a throat pulls her attention back to the screen, seeing the two girls have separated with Chloe giving her an apologetic look. “Sorry Max, I forget you’re probably not used to seeing that.”

The comment stings a little, even though Max knows the punk doesn’t intend it to. “It’s fine,” she starts, hating how weak she sounds. “I take it you guys are…” 

“Dating?” Chloe finishes when the brunette hesitates.

“You didn’t tell her?” Rachel raises an eyebrow at the girl with the blue streaked hair. 

“You said you didn’t want to label ourselves yet. So I didn’t know what to tell her.”

Max worries her bottom lip between her teeth as she watches the girls talk amongst themselves like she isn’t right there listening. “That was a few days after we first met.” Rachel retorts, though she doesn’t sound angry.

“And you haven’t said anything since.”

“I didn’t think it needed to be said. We’ve made out plenty of times the past couple weeks. I thought it was pretty obvious that you’re my girlfriend.”

Max winces, and curses herself. Her hand raises part way as she considers shutting the laptop then and there. It’s bad enough hearing what the other two girls are discussing, without having to see the way Chloe’s face lights up with such glee.

“I’m your girlfriend?” 

Rachel can’t help but chuckle at the punk’s reaction as she wraps her arms around her neck. “How can you be so brilliantly smart but such a beautiful idiot?”

“I’m a girl of many talents,” Chloe grins as she closes in to kiss the blonde, the pair  again seemingly forgetting Max on the other side of the computer screen.

Again Max tries to ignore the display in front of her by looking away and busying herself with a frayed thread in her bed’s comforter. Mercifully, it doesn’t take long before Rachel pulls away when her phone goes off. Max returns her attention to the laptop screen as Rachel looks at her phone for a moment.

“Shit, it’s Nathan,” Rachel starts explaining to Chloe. “He asked me to pose for him tomorrow morning and he wants to get together to go over ideas.”

“You’re gonna pose for that little tweaker?” Chloe asks, not bothering to hide her distaste for the boy.

“He’s actually a good photographer. More importantly though, his family’s hella rich and willing to fund our Vortex Club parties. And he hooks me up with free weed.” The blonde argues as she pockets her phone. “Walk me out?”

“Yeah,” Chloe sighs, clearly annoyed, before seeming to remember they’re not entirely alone. “Be right back Max.”

“Bye Max, it was nice meeting you. You’ll have to show me your photos next time, Chloe says they’re amazing.” Rachel adds before standing up.

“S-sure,” the brunette agrees, but the other girl is already out of the camera’s view. She leans back against the wall behind her with a sigh. You can’t hide from your feelings anymore Max. Face it, you’re totally crushing on Chloe. Not like you can do anything about it though, she lives six hours away in another state. Oh and did I mention she has a gorgeous girlfriend now?

How can I have a crush on her though? I’m not gay. Max argues with her inner self. 

Please, you don’t know what you are. You spent the last couple years worrying about Chloe, always putting her first and trying to help her deal with her shit. And now she has someone else there and doesn’t need your help anymore. It’s time to start figuring yourself out now because she’s not going to have much time for you when she’d rather make out with her girlfriend.

That’s not true, Chloe always makes time for me.

Like when she ignored you for a week?

She didn’t ignore me, she had a lot going on.

Yes, with Rachel.

“Yo! Earth to Max. Come in, space cadet.”

The brunette shakes herself out of her spiraling thoughts at the sound of Chloe’s voice. She blinks and looks up at the girl on her screen. “W-what?”

“Dude, are you okay? You were totally spaced out and not responding. It kinda worried me.”

“Oh, sorry. I-I’m fine. I was… just thinking.” She said she’s worried about you. Calm down Caulfield, Chloe’s still your best friend.

“Don’t think too hard, you’ll hurt yourself. Gotta give those two brain cells a rest” Chloe teases, sticking her tongue out at the girl.

“S-shut up,” Max can’t help but giggle a little with the punk. Her chest tightens a little as she watches the other girl on the screen.

“I should have told you about Rach and I sooner. I didn’t know you’d be that embarrassed by a little PDA.”

Max tries to not show her feelings as she responds. “A little PDA?”

Chloe shrugs. “That was nothing compared to what we get up to when no one’s watching.”

Looking away, Max worries her lip between her teeth again as she feels the ugly tug of jealousy in the pit of her stomach. “I-I don’t need to hear about that,” she says quietly, sounding harsher than she intended 

“Sorry, is my sex life too much for your virgin ears to handle?” Chloe teases.

“You have a sex life?” Max groans involuntarily.

“I mean… we haven’t quite done it yet… but any day now my v-card will officially be punched.” Max groans again, shaking her head as she lowers her gaze. “C’mon Max, I need someone I can talk to about this stuff,” Chloe pleads. “I’ll gladly listen to you talk about your sex life in all its sordid details in return when you finally get a boyfriend.” 

Looking back up at her best friend on screen, Max can see a bit of vulnerability in her eyes. “I don’t know anything about sex,” she answers bitterly. “You’re the only one I’ve ever even…” The brunette stops her mouth from outrunning her mind. Shit, I’m so not ready to talk about that right now. Not after seeing her and Rachel… The other girl is staring back at her, expecting Max to finish her sentence. 

A flash of recognition crosses the punk’s face. “O-oh-”

 But Max speaks up before Chloe can finish her thought, blurting out the only thing she can think of quickly. “Does Joyce know?”

“Hella no, she’d probably freak if she found out. Or worse, tell Major Dipshit and give him even more reason to harass me.”

“I don’t think Joyce would react badly, you're her daughter. Though you’re probably right about David.”

“Exactly. Now, are you gonna show me your latest photos or are you going to make me beg?”

Max is grateful for the change in subject and allows herself to get absorbed in talking about photography. As always, Chloe listens to her ramble on, never losing her patience or becoming visibly bored with the brunette. They fall into their usual banter when they move on to other topics and hours seem to go by in minutes for Max. Eventually Chloe announces she has to end their video call and makes her usual promise to text. 

Her heart sinks as she stares at the call ended screen and every emotion comes rushing back. She hugs her knees and pulls them up to her chest, burying her face in her knees as she sits on her bed in the dark. It feels like an overwhelming void is weighing down on her as the first tear falls.

Chapter Text

July 2011

“We’re nearly there sweetie.” Vanessa says as she gently shakes her daughter’s shoulder.

Max opens her eyes and takes in a sharp breath. She’d fallen asleep with her head against the car’s window. Looking up, she meets her mother’s gaze briefly before the older Caulfield woman turns in her seat to face forward. 

The young brunette sits up straight with a yawn and glances back out the window, just in time to see a familiar weather worn sign. ‘Welcome to Arcadia Bay,’ she reads as her lips curl into a smile. Finally.

A nervous energy takes hold of Max as the familiar sights pass outside her window. It’s been over a year since she watched the scene in reverse as they drove away from the home she’d known all her life. Over a year since she’d left her teary eyed best friend standing on the steps of her house. 

It feels like hours have passed between crossing into the small town before the family car pulls up to its destination, though the sun hasn’t even moved across the midday sky. Max barely waits for the car to come to a complete stop before throwing open the passenger door. She lands on wobbly legs and takes a moment to stretch after the long car ride. She barely notices a flash of blue before she’s suddenly swept up in a tight hug and lifted off the ground with a yelp.

“You’re finally here.” The voice is familiar, exactly how she remembers it. If anything, it sounds even sweeter to her ears without the synthetic distortion of a speaker.

“I missed you too Chloe,” Max answers with a bit of a chuckle. She feels the rumble of the other girl’s chest as she laughs as well. Then a flush creeps up her cheeks as she realizes how much she’d missed hugging her friend and how differently it feels given her recent revelation. Luckily the punk releases her grip and lets her back down onto solid ground

“Holy shitballs, you’re actually here.” Chloe exclaims as she looks the brunette up and down. “You haven’t grown at all. Actually, I think you may have shrunk,” she comments, earning a light smack on the arm.

“I haven’t shrunk, you ass. It’s not my fault you’re freakishly tall.” Max pouts. She too gives her friend a quick look over. Well, maybe a lingering look over. Chloe’s punk look is even more pronounced with the ripped black skinny jeans, faded band shirt and dark jacket. Spiked bracelets, a choker, black ring and bullet necklace round out the look, all accented by the blue streak running through her hair. No fair, she’s developed way more than I have the last year. Okay, stop ogling your best friend you perv.

“Chloe, you’ve grown up,” Max’s father says, reminding the reunited friends that they aren’t alone, before giving the teen a hug. “Love the hair.”

“Thanks Mr. C,” Chloe answers, rubbing the back of her neck. “I plan on going full blue soon.”

“Just as long as Maxine doesn’t come home with a matching color.” Vanessa warns half-heartedly as she walks around the car.

“Moo~m,” Max groans, earning a laugh out of the others.

“Kidding. Is Joyce home?” Her mother asks as Ryan retrieves a suitcase from the trunk. 

“Not for a few more hours,” Chloe answers. “She wanted to be here, but she got stuck working a double. Step-dou… David is working too.” She adds, barely catching herself.

“Well, hopefully we’ll see her when we come to pick Max up in a week.” Ryan states before turning his attention to Max. “You got everything kiddo?”

“Yeah pops,” The girl in question replies, patting the camera bag slung over her shoulder that she retrieved from the back seat along with a small suitcase.

“Alright, have fun you two. I expect you to keep my daughter out of trouble Chloe.” Vanessa warns, giving the punk a knowing wink. 

The four of them exchange their goodbyes, the two teens waiting by the side of the road as Max’s parents drive off. Once the car has turned at the end of the block and is out of sight, Max feels herself once again being pulled into a hug.

“I fucking missed you dude,” Chloe whispers before pulling away again. “Now come on, let's stash your shit in my room.”

Chloe’s room is almost exactly as she remembers it, albeit with a bit more graffiti. Max sets her suitcase down in the corner by the door and looks around. “Not much has changed.”

“Yep, home shit home. Believe it or not, I was actually cleaning up before you got here.” The blonde replies as she picks up stray clothes from the ground. “And don’t worry, the sheets are clean.”

“I am impressed,” Max teases as she surveys the mess, which is surprisingly organized by Chloe’s standards. “I’m not sleeping in the guest room?”

The punk looks up at her with a strange expression, like she’d said something completely absurd. “Hell no, when have we ever slept in separate beds?” She asks as she dumps a pile of dirty clothes in a hamper and strolls over to the bed, plopping down on the edge.

Max grips her elbow, her usual nervous tic, and blushes slightly. “I just figured since you’re with Rachel…” 

Chloe shrugs. “She’s not like that. Besides, she’s still down in California for the next few days. Don’t worry though, the three of us will have plenty of time to hang and you two can get to know each other better. Who knows, she might end up falling for you instead.” She jokes and elbows the brunette as she sits down on the bed next to Chloe.

“I highly doubt that.”

“Please, don’t try to tell me all those Seattle art hoes aren’t all over you. You’re cuter than you give yourself credit for, not to mention smart and funny.”

“Yeah right. They wouldn’t even notice me standing next to you or Rachel.” 

“We’ll let Rach decide when you meet her for real. Maybe she can help you out with your look. Starting with this ponytail.” Chloe teases as she flips the bundle of brown hair.

“I do need a haircut,” Max admits, pushing the ponytail back over her shoulder. 

“It’s settled then. When Rach gets back it’s Operation Maximum Makeover. Now c’mon, I’ve got a little surprise for you.” 

“Hold on,” Max says as she reaches into her bag and pulls her camera out. “One quick photo to commemorate my trip?”

“Hella yes,” Chloe says, scooting closer and leaning into the brunette’s side, wrapping an arm around her. “We’re getting the band back together.” The girls laughs as Max points the camera lens at them and presses the shutter. The punk snatches up the photo as soon as it spits out. “This one’s mine!”

“Fine, I’ll just have to take another then.” Max counters as she raises the camera once again.

“Works for me.”

“And here we are,” Chloe proclaims, throwing her arms wide, gesturing to their destination.

Max, panting lightly, walks up next to her blonde friend and takes in the sight as the summer heat beats down on her. “This is your idea of a surprise Chloe? You made me walk fifteen miles, for a junkyard?” The brunette asks incredulously, staring at the piles of trash and rusted junk.

“Okay, first of all Max, it was more like twelve, and we took the bus the first ten miles. What have you been doing in Seattle, just sitting inside all the time?” Chloe argues, receiving a glare from the shorter girl. 

“I go outside to take photos… sometimes. Besides, you’ve always been way more athletic than me.”

“Wouldn’t be much of a bodyguard if I wasn’t.” Chloe nudges Max’s shoulder, getting a little giggle out of her. “Anyways, just look how awesome it is. There’s so much for a little hipster like you to photograph, all that rusted beauty. Just think of the metaphors. Also, this just happens to be Rachel and mine’s secret hideout, and the real surprise awaits us inside.”

Max isn’t completely convinced, but as she turns her photographer’s eye towards the piles of rust, she begins to see it a little differently. With a sigh, she adjusts the strap of her camera bag and speaks. “Alright, show me the way to Chloe’s cave.”

The girls make their way, winding between piles of trash, discarded appliances and rusted cars. A decrepit boat with a pirate flag catches Max’s eyes as they pass. Here lies the scourge of Arcadia Bay. I could totally see Chloe and I playing on this thing when we were younger, definitely beats the old swing set. Pulling out her camera, she lines up a shot and waits as a breeze unfurls the jolly roger before pressing the shutter button. 

“I totally called it,” Chloe yells out, catching the photographer’s attention as she exits a cinder block shack, carrying a small tool box. “C’mon, this is the real surprise.” She walks over to an old rusted pickup truck and sets the tool box on the ground before turning around. “Whatcha think?”

“I can see why you like it here. It’s raw and rough, but there’s a hidden beauty to it, just like you.” Max smiles at the punk.

“I’m not sure if I should be offended or flattered by that.” Chloe answers, confused but getting a chuckle out of the younger girl. “I meant my truck.”

“Where is it?” Max questions, looking around her but seeing nothing but junk before settling her eyes on the other girl. “Wait, you mean this rusted heap?”

Chloe’s mouth drops and she grips her chest like she’s been shot. “That cut deep,” she gasps exaggeratedly before rubbing her hand on the truck’s fender. “Don’t listen to her girl. She didn’t mean it.”

Max can’t help but laugh at the display. “You’re ridiculous. But seriously, does this thing even run?”

“Of course it runs,” the punk states defensively. “Or… it ran anyway… It was running a couple days ago. Hence the tool box.”

The brunette stares at her for a moment, waiting for the punchline that doesn’t come. “You’re serious? This is yours?”

“Yes, Maximum disbelief. I found it after Rach and I stumbled along this place a few months back and started messing with it. Only took a couple days to get it running and I’ve been scrounging around the rest of the wreckage for spare parts to fix her up.”

“Her?”

“Yes, her. Can’t you tell it’s a girl truck?”

“Uh huh.” Again Max can’t help but giggle. “And what’s her name?”

“Betsy,” Chloe deadpans, causing the hipster to laugh even harder. “Fine, have fun walking home later.”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me. Apologize to Betsy.”

Max glances between the truck and Chloe’s serious expression before clearing her throat. “I’m sorry Betsy. You’re not a rusty heap. I really like your… headlights.”

“Woah there Maximus, stop hitting on my ride.” Chloe chuckles along with the brunette, earning a smack on the arm. 

“You suck.”

“Mind popping the hood? It’s the lever just under the dash on the left side.”

“Good thing I’ve had my tetanus shot,” Max jokes as she walks towards the driver’s side door. The door opens with a metallic groan before the brunette sticks her head inside. Spotting a lever just under the dash, Max pulls it. “This one?”

“That’s it,” the punk calls back as she lifts the hood up while Max walks around to rejoin her at the front. Chloe hefts the toolbox up, setting it on the edge of the engine compartment before opening it. Reaching inside, she pulls out a small radio that she then tosses to the younger girl. “Here, DJ Max Attack, find something good to listen to.”

The brunette twists the knobs on the small device and static starts playing out of the small speaker. Max spends a moment searching through frequencies, passing over a few country and pop stations, each earning a sound of disgust from the punk, before finding something more their style.

“That girl thinks she’s the queen of the neighborhood,

She’s got the hottest trike in town,

That girl, she holds her head up so high,

I think I wanna be her best friend, yeah.”

“That’s more like it,” Chloe comments as she starts bobbing her head to the music. 

“So what’s wrong with the truck?” Max asks as she stands next to the taller girl, aimlessly looking around at the engine.

“Fuel pump keeps crapping out,” Chloe answers as she grabs a wrench and leans over to start her work. “So I ripped one out of another truck and I’m gonna put it in this one.”

“Will that fix it?”

“We’ll find out soon enough. Ngh mother fucker!” 

Max winces at the sound of flesh smacking against metal. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, all part of the fun,” Chloe calls back without stopping in her work. “This shouldn’t take too long, but feel free to snoop around and do your photography… thing while I fix this.”

“You mean take photos,” Max giggles at her friend.

“Yeah, that thing. C’mon fucker”

The brunette can’t help but laugh at her friend’s frustrated cursing. Deciding to take her suggestion to heart, Max takes a few steps back and pulls out her camera, lining up her shot carefully before pressing the shutter. With a click and a whir, the camera spits out a photo of her grease monkey best friend bowed over her truck in all her glory.

“Did you just take a picture of my ass?”

“Well I was just trying to take a picture of this old rusted truck. It’s not my fault your booty was in the way.” Max says sheepishly.

“Arrh, well as long as ye made me booty look er… plunderable?” 

Max can’t help but break out into laughter at her friend’s terrible pirate voice. Taking a deep breath, Max found herself staring at said booty and biting her lip. Okay, those shorts look way too good on Chloe. How’d she get such a nice ass when mine is so… flat. “Oh, it definitely looks plunderable,” Max says under her breath.

“What was that?”

Not realizing she said that out loud, Max’s cheeks flush as a small panic hits her. “I uh, I said I’m gonna go look around.”

The punk finally stands up, pulling her head out of the truck. Already, her hands are covered in dirt and grease with a smudge on her cheek for good measure. Max can’t help taking another shot as Chloe turns to look at her. “You’re gonna give a girl a complex if you keep taking photos of me like that.”

“Well, we wouldn’t want that now would we? Your head’s big enough as it is.” Max teases as she tucks the photo away and walks closer to her friend. Chloe reaches out a finger and before Max can react, wipes a smudge of engine grease on the tip of her nose. “Hey!” She cries, batting the blonde’s hand away.

“That’s what you get for being a brat,” Chloe laughs as Max tries to wipe the grease off but just smears it across her cheek.

“Ugh, dammit Chloe.” Max complains as she glances around for something remotely clean to wipe the grease off. 

“There’s usually some bottled water and things in the shack,” Chloe points towards the cinder block structure. “You should be able to find something to clean with in there if you’re so afraid of a little dirt.”

“Jerk,” Max replies as she walks towards the shack, leaving a cackling Chloe to return to working on her truck.

The interior of the shack isn’t what Max was expecting when she walks through the open doorway. It actually looks kind of cozy considering it’s just a bunch of junk. She thinks to herself as she looks around. There’s a makeshift couch made out of an old car seat with a blanket and a dusty old pillow thrown on it. A big wooden spool serves as a table, covered in empty beer bottles and an old pizza box. A couple tapestries and some street signs hang on the walls with ample graffiti mixed in. There’s even a dart board.

Spotting an old milk crate filled with various bottles in a corner, she walks over to inspect it. There must be half a dozen partially drunk bottles of booze along with beer and some water. Grabbing one of the water bottles, Max twists the tops off and takes a drink first before looking around for a towel of some kind. She spots a cleanish rag and wets it with water before scrubbing at her cheek and nose. Thankfully she spots a small compact mirror next to some makeup and uses it to ensure she doesn’t miss a spot.

Placing the compact back on the makeshift table, Max takes a closer look at the contents, spotting a couple strips of colorful thread. Picking one up, she turns it around to see a letter ‘C’ sewn into the center. Is this a friendship bracelet? It doesn’t look finished. She thinks to herself before she picks up the other and sees an ‘R.’

She’s not sure why she didn’t realize it sooner, but as she looks around, it’s suddenly clear she’s an outsider here. There’s obvious signs of Chloe’s presence, and while she doesn’t know Rachel that well, she can tell she’s spent a lot of time here also. She realizes the makeup probably belongs to Rachel. There’s a win tally next to the dartboard. As she glances back at the couch, she spots a floral pattern bra hanging off the back, clearly forgotten and not something she thinks Chloe would wear. And the biggest giveaway of all – the giant graffiti on the adjacent wall.

Chloe was here

Rachel was here

A small pang of jealousy twists in her stomach. She grabs a black marker she’d seen and marches over towards the wall. She considers squeezing her name in between the other two, but quickly thinks better of it as she signs her own at the bottom.

Max was here.

She caps the marker and steps back, instantly regretting her pettiness. Well that was a dumb thing to do, Caulfield. She tosses the marker back on the table and takes one last look around the shack, feeling like she might suffocate if she stays any longer. 

When Max peaks her head out the doorway of the shack, she notices Chloe’s still busy working on her truck and isn’t paying any attention to anything else. I bet she still sticks her tongue out when she’s really concentrating on a task. She’s so cute when she does that. With a heavy sigh, Max walks around the back of the shack to find someplace Chloe won’t see her. 

She’s not sure how long she wanders around, occasionally taking a photo or two. Eventually she finds a small clearing and sits under a tree. She’s far enough away she can barely hear Chloe’s distant cussing echoing across the junkyard. For several minutes, she simply sits and listens to the sounds of the forest around her.

Maybe coming here was a mistake. Clearly Chloe doesn’t need me around anymore when she has Rachel. Sure she’s happy to spend time with me now when Rachel is away. But what about when she comes back? Is she going to forget I’m even here?  

Chloe’s already been harder to get a hold of lately; often texting me back hours later because she was with Rachel, or missing our skype calls. How much longer before she just stops responding? I wouldn’t blame her if she did. I don’t know why she’d still bother with her loser friend that lives six hours away and only seen once in over a year.

Max sighs and crosses her arms over her chest. Okay, stop being so melodramatic Caulfield. You’ve been looking forward to this trip since you moved to Seattle. You’re here, with your best friend. Forget the self-loathing and your stupid crush and just enjoy your week together.

After spending a few more minutes just enjoying her surroundings, Max finally pushes herself up and makes her way back to Chloe. The music becomes louder as she weaves her way between piles of junk and stacks of cars and old appliances. She rounds a corner just in time to see Chloe slam the hood of the truck shut.

“Is Betsy all fixed up now?” Max asks, causing the punk to jump in surprise and yelp.

“Jesus fuck, Max. You scared the shit out of me. Can’t you make some noise?”

“Sorry,” the brunette covers her mouth as she giggles.

“God damned hipster ninja,” Chloe teases as she begins wiping her hands on an old, dirty rag.

“So, is the truck running?” Max asks again as she looks it over as though she can tell just by examining it.

“We’re about to find out,” Chloe comments as she tosses the rag aside. Reaching into her pocket, she pulls out her keys and tosses them to the brunette. “Care to do the honors?”

Max barely manages to catch the keys without dropping them before she gives the blonde a confused look. “I-I don’t know how to drive. I don’t even have my learner’s permit.”

“Relax, Max.” Chloe comments as she holds her hands up. “I just meant to start it. But, I could always teach you if you want.”

The brunette bites her lip as she glances at the old truck with trepidation. “I think I’ll just stick to starting it for now.”

“Sure, whatever. I can be your faithful chauffeur. Now hop in,” Chloe finishes with a smile as she opens the driver side door.

With a bit of effort, the short girl climbs into the truck before settling on the bench seat. She inserts the key before excitedly saying: “right, here goes nothing.” Max turns the key in the ignition and… silence.

Chloe doesn’t bother containing her laughter as she stands beside her. “Yep, nothing sure is going.” Max scowls at her before the punk points at the gear lever. “It’s a stick shift, you have to put the clutch pedal in first.”

“Oh, right,” Max comments as if she should have known. She glances down at the three pedals in front of her and frowns. “Which one is the clutch?”

Chloe continues laughing at her as she points. “The one on the left, Speed Racer.” 

Max stomps down on the left pedal, pushing it all the way to the floor before turning the key in the ignition once again. This time there’s a little sputtering before the old V8 roars to life and she lets go of the key.

“It’s alive!” Chloe exclaims in a maniacal voice, earning a chuckle out of the brunette before the blonde grabs the door frame and starts hoisting herself in. “Alright, scoot down sista.”

Max does as she’s told, sliding down towards the opposite end of the bench as Chloe settles into the driver’s seat. “So, where to, Captain?” She asks as she buckles her seatbelt.

“I’m starving,” Chloe starts as she fiddles with the radio. “How about we see if Joyce’ll hook us up with free food?”

“You’re always hungry,” Max chuckles and shakes her head. “But yeah, a Two Whales burger sounds amazing right now.”

The drive to the Two Whales was rather tame compared to what Max expected. Despite her fears about the integrity of Chloe’s truck, the old clunker held together. And Chloe herself proved to be much less reckless with her driving than Max thought she would be. Ultimately she was able to relax and just enjoy the drive while the radio blared and they exchanged banter.

As they enter the diner, the familiar smells and sounds envelop Max like a warm blanket. No matter what, this place will always feel like home. The brunette thinks to herself as she glances around to take it all in.

“I should probably go clean up. Mind grabbing a table?” Chloe asks as she shows off her still dirty hands.

“Sure,” Max chuckles before they head in opposite directions. Taking a quick glance around, she notices the table they’d always sit at before she moved is empty and takes a seat. Her eyes slowly scan the diner, taking comfort in the fact it looks exactly as she remembers it. It’s only been a year, I guess it wouldn’t have changed much in that time.

“Well look who it is.” The familiar southern drawl brings a smile to Max’s face as she turns her attention to Joyce. “It’s good to see you again Max.”

“Hey Joyce. It’s good to see you too. It feels like it’s been so long.”

“It has been too long. And look how you’ve grown darlin’, you’re turning into a pretty young lady.”

Max looks away, turning shy at the compliment. “Thanks, but I don’t know about that. Besides, Chloe’s grown a lot more than me.”

“I swear, that girl’s going to be as tall as her father. And don’t you go doubting yourself, Max. I’m sure plenty of boys will be after you soon, if they aren’t already.”

“They’ll have to go through me first,” Chloe states possessively as she walks up behind her mother and slides into the opposite bench from Max.

“Oh, and how do you plan on doing that when she’s all the way up in Seattle?” Joyce asks, raising an eyebrow at her daughter.

“Simple. No one’s good enough for her so I ban all boys from asking her out.” The punk shrugs.

“That simple, huh? Shouldn’t it be up to Max to decide that?”

“It’s okay, Joyce,” Max cuts in when the older Price woman gives Chloe a serious look. “She’s just being protective. Besides, it’s not like I’m interested in dating any boys right now.”

“Well I’m sure your parents would be relieved to know that, hun. But don’t let Chloe scare anyone off just because she’s jealous.” Joyce finishes, giving the young brunette a wink.

“Why would I be jealous?” Chloe grumbles, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I’m just teasing,” Joyce replies. “Anyways, what can I get you girls?”

Max stares up at the darkened ceiling, her thoughts a similar shade as they roil around in her head. She used to find it comforting to sleep next to Chloe. Now though, she can’t seem to relax. She wants nothing more than to be able to reach out and hold her hand. Instead, she’s so afraid of doing the wrong thing, she’s practically hanging off the edge of the bed. 

Over and over, little pieces of the day play in her mind. That first big hug when she got out of the car that morning. A couple other times they hugged or exchanged little touches. Each one felt warm and gave her butterflies. However, their memories are a reminder of what she can’t have. That a slap of their hands or a fist bump can’t lead to interlocked fingers. A touch on the arm can’t lead to one around her shoulders. A hug can’t linger. A boop on the nose or rustling of hair can’t lead to a hand on a cheek or a kiss on the lips.

It was one thing harboring a small crush hundreds of miles away across state lines. The small glee Max would feel when she got a text from Chloe, or how the hours would fly by when they’d talk on the phone. How giddy and a little nervous she’d get before a skype call. The disappointment and loneliness she’d feel when Chloe wouldn’t answer and text hours later or the next day that she was ‘busy with Rachel.’

Just when Max figured out what she’d been feeling for Chloe and wanted nothing more than to be closer to her, she started slipping away. And now here she lay, sharing a bed with her best friend, afraid of being close to her.

With a sigh, Max rolls over onto her side, facing the punk. A sad smile touches her lips as she takes in her sleeping form. From her disheveled hair to her parted lips. The loose shirt exposing part of her midriff. Her hand reaches out on its own and nearly brushes some of Chloe’s hair back behind her ear before she catches herself and pulls it back. Her fingers instead run along her lips, remembering the night of Chloe’s sixteenth birthday.

Fucking Seattle.

Sleep finds her eventually as she watches Chloe rest, her hand just lightly touching the blonde’s.

Chapter Text

“Dammit” by Blink-182 plays out of Chloe’s HiFi from across the hall, dropping to a comfortable level where they are in the bathroom. The soon-to-be former blonde sits on a stool in the center as Max pulls on a pair of latex gloves she found in Chloe’s room.

“Are you sure you don’t want to wait for Rachel to come back tomorrow to do this, Chloe? She’d probably be a lot better at it.” Max says, feeling slightly apprehensive about the task at hand.

“Don’t worry, dude. It’s super easy. All you gotta do is make sure all my hair gets covered.” Chloe comments, looking up to meet the brunette’s eyes with a soft smile. “Besides, it’s been too long since we’ve really done anything together. Like, more than just hanging out the last few days, something… important? Shit, I don’t know what I’m trying to say.”

“I know what you mean, Chloe. I want to be able to remember this trip for a long time.” Max replies softly. Not like I could forget a moment spent with you.

“Yeah. It just sucks you have to go home in a few days.” Max bites her lip, trying not to frown at the comment. “Fuck, we shouldn’t be thinking about that right now. Let’s just slap this color on my hair.”

“Sure,” Max says as she picks up the tube of Manic Panic from the sink.

“Wait, shit, I don’t want to ruin this shirt,” Chloe states as she pulls her shirt over her head and tosses it at the hamper in the corner. Max can’t help the blush that appears on her cheeks as she stares at Chloe in her bra and jeans. “Relax, Max. It’s not like you haven’t seen me in my underwear before.”

“When we were younger,” Max objects, trying to keep her eyes above Chloe’s neckline. “We’re not kids anymore; it’s different now,” Max mutters the last part to herself.

Chloe’s smirk falters and she sounds dejected when she speaks. “Sorry, Max. I didn’t think it was a big deal. I’ll put my shirt back on if it makes you more comfortable.”

The brunette curses herself. “It’s fine, Chloe. I just… You’re right, we don’t want to get color all over your shirt.” Max tries to be convincing but she’s still avoiding looking down at Chloe.

“If you say so,” the blonde mumbles, not sounding convinced before quickly recovering her composure. “Let’s do this.”

“Alright, close your eyes in case it drips,” Max commands as she squeezes out some of the color into a bowl, dipping a brush in to scoop some of it up. She begins separating sections of Chloe’s hair and painting the color on her hair like she’s painting a canvas.

For the next fifteen minutes, the only noise is the music drifting in from Chloe’s stereo and the scraping of the color brush in the bowl. Max tries to focus on her task as if she’s lining up a photo. Though the temptation for her eyes to wander proves too strong as they occasionally glance down. As she slowly makes her way around to the back of Chloe’s head, Max thinks it’ll be easier to focus on her task. That is until she sees Chloe's exposed neck and shoulders with her hair up in a clip and Max has to bite her lip.

Ugh, what is wrong with you, Max? Really? A bare neck? Is that even a normal thing to find attractive? She groans as she closes her eyes and chastises herself.

“Everything alright back there?” The punk asks.

“Y-yeah. Just… stretching. I’m almost done.” Max blushes. Dog Caulfield, get a grip. Chloe has a girlfriend. And even if she didn’t, you are so not her type. So stop it with the stupid schoolgirl crush and just color your best friend’s hair.

Max drops the brush into the bowl before placing it in the sink a couple of minutes later. “All done,” She says as she grabs the included plastic hair cap and fits it over Chloe’s head.

“Sweet. How long before we rinse it out?”

Removing her gloves and tossing them in the trash, Max grabs the box the color came in. “It says twenty to thirty minutes for darker hair. I’ll set my timer.”

“Cool,” Chloe comments as Max taps away on her phone while taking a seat on the toilet. “So… I know you told Joyce you weren’t interested, but she’s not here. So talk to me Max, what’s really going on?”

The brunette looks up at her, confused as she sets her phone on the counter. “What?”

“Y’know… boys?”

“What about boys?” Max asks as her brow furrows. “Chloe, I don’t-”

“Are you dating any? Hooking up behind the bleachers-”

“W-what? N-no-”

“Or maybe finding a room at a house party?” Chloe teases, waggling her eyebrows at Max as her cheeks flush.

“What?! E-eww, no. What the hell Chloe?”

“The lady doth protest too much, me thinks.” Chloe teases further, earning a little glare from the younger girl. “Alright, so maybe you haven’t gone that far. But like, you’ve gone on a date, right?”

“Don’t you think I would have said something to you if I had? Why does it even matter?” Max asks, feeling a little uneasy about the topic.

Chloe shrugs, glancing away. “Can’t a girl ask her best friend about her love life? You listen to me talk about Rachel and our relationship.”

Max frowns at Chloe’s tone when she says the last part but doesn’t push it. “There’s… really not much to talk about.”

“Really? Surely someone’s at least asked you out, right?” Chloe asks in disbelief.

Max shakes her head before staring down at her lap, picking at a loose strand on her jeans. “I mostly stick to myself and everyone kind of just… leaves me alone. I spend more time watching the world through my camera lens than interacting with it. I’m sure it sounds totally lame but… you’re the only friend I have, Chloe.”

“It’s not lame. We just have to work on your confidence. Trust me, Max. One day, the whole world is going to fucking bow before you. And besides, why would you need any other friends when you have a best friend like me?” Chloe teases, giving the brunette her trademark smirk and kicking her foot playfully.

Chloe succeeds in getting a small giggle out of Max. “Of course, because who could compare to the awesome Chloe Price?” 

“Damn right. Don’t think I’m done interrogating you though. Maybe nobody has asked you out… yet. But does little Maxie have a crush on anyone?”

You. Max thinks to herself as she bites her lip and avoids meeting Chloe’s eyes. “N-not really, no.”

“C’mon, you mean to tell me there are no cute guys at your school?” Max simply shrugs, still avoiding eye contact. “You’re really going to tell me you’re almost 16 and don’t think there’s a single cute guy at your school?” Chloe asks, not believing her, but Max just shrugs again. “Are you like… asexual?”

“W-what?” Max mumbles, meeting her eyes at last as Chloe quickly adds to her question.

“Because it’s totally cool if you are.”

“I-I… I don’t even know what that means-”

“It means you just don’t like… experience sexual or even romantic attraction.”

“No. I’m not asexual. Why would you ask that?”

Chloe huffs and reaches a hand up to scratch her scalp before remembering she has color in her hair. “I just… You know just because I’m gay, doesn’t mean you can’t still talk to me about boys, right?”

“There’s nothing to talk about, really,” Max states, feeling relieved when her phone’s timer starts beeping. “Can we just drop this and rinse your hair out?” Max asks before Chloe can say anything more, her tone bordering on annoyance.

“Yeah… sure,” Chloe answers unenthusiastically as she stands and pulls the hair cap off. She tosses it in the sink while Max pulls on a clean pair of gloves. Chloe kneels over the side of the tub as the water heats up, covering her face with a washcloth. As soon as the water is warm, Max pulls the shower head down to begin rinsing out Chloe’s hair.

There’s something unexpectedly intimate about washing Chloe’s hair that Max finds herself enjoying. Her heart flutters when the bluenette hums as her fingers massage shampoo into her scalp. She probably spends way more time than is necessary shampooing her hair and misses the sensation when she removes her hands to rinse. A sentiment Chloe seems to share when she comments. “Damn, I could have fallen asleep if I wasn’t hunched over like this.”

A few minutes later, after a second shampooing to get any spots of color Max missed, the brunette shuts the water off and grabs a towel from the rack for Chloe to dry off with. “Fuck, I’m so excited to see how this looks,” the punk comments as she practically bounces on the balls of her feet. After vigorously rubbing the towel over her hair, Chloe pulls it off and looks in the mirror. Her grin threatens to split her face in half as she rearranges some of her hair with her fingers. “Holy shit. Dude, it looks fucking badass, right?” She asks as she turns to Max.

“Wowser, it looks really hot.” Max thinks to herself before she realizes she actually said that out loud and her eyes go wide as she scrambles. “I-I mean, like, it really suits you.”

“Down girl, don’t start drooling over me, or I might think you mean it,” Chloe says in an obvious attempt to tease but Max can’t help blushing and looking away.

“I-I didn’t mean it like-”

“Dude,” Chloe starts, once again sounding a little dejected. “It’s fine, whatever, I know you’re not like that. Just… help me clean this up before Joyce comes home and freaks about the tub being blue.” 

Max worries her bottom lip between her teeth as Chloe turns her back to her. She can’t help feeling like everything she says today pisses Chloe off.

Heavy drums and guitar fill the room as Max mindlessly bobs her head along, not paying particular attention as she lies on her stomach, flipping through an old photo album. Her long hair, left untied after her shower, hangs like a curtain around her face, keeping her eyes from wandering. Mostly anyways. Out of the corner of her eye, Max can spot the boundary line formed by the hem of Chloe’s shorts and the skin of her thigh between gaps in her hair as the bluenette rolls a joint. Max does her best not to focus on it, but despite her best efforts, she can’t help her eyes occasionally flicking in that direction. 

Dog, Max. You get one stupid little crush and you turn into a giant perv. Why’s it so hard to keep my eyes off Chloe? It wasn’t always like this, right?

A moment later, Max hears the flick of a lighter, followed by the quiet crackling of weed burning as Chloe takes her first drag. The pungent smell wrinkles her nose as she turns the page, carefully inspecting each photo and memory. They enjoy a comfortable silence as both girls focus on their respective activities for several minutes until the mattress dips next to her once Chloe finishes her joint.

“Whatcha looking at, nerd?” Chloe asks as she lies back down next to Max.

“Just some old memories,” Max comments as she turns her head to meet her friend’s gaze. She blows her hair in a failed attempt to push it out of her eyes before the bluenette pushes the offending strands behind her ear. Chloe’s smile is soft and lazy, and her fingers linger as they slowly trace Max’s jawline. Her mouth feels dry and Max swallows hard as she stares into her eyes. 

And then the touch is gone.

“Dude, we really need to cut your hair. Maybe we should make that the first order of business when Rachel finally gets here.”

“Y-yeah. Sure,” Max mutters as she turns her attention back to the photo album and flips the page.

“Scoot. Let me see,” Chloe says as she scoots closer, bumping into the brunette and earning a small giggle from her. Max slides the photo album over so it’s between them, though Chloe doesn’t move and stays pressed against her side. “Oh shit, this is from that camping trip when Dad took us on a hike and got us lost for most of the day.” Chloe kicks her feet up and down, her left leg rubbing against Max’s where they touch.

“I remember that,” Max replies as she bumps her leg against Chloe’s playfully. “I also remember you chasing me around with a big stick like you wanted to sword fight, and I ended up falling in poison ivy. So not cool.”

“Oh yeah, and Mom covered you in oatmeal. You looked like some angry mud monster, it was hilarious.” Chloe laughs at the memory as Max bumps her with her shoulder.

“My parents weren’t happy either. They banned me from going on any more camping trips with you for the rest of the summer.”

“They always were overprotective of you.”

“Still are,” Max grumbles as she turns the page.

“Aww, our last Halloween together before Dad died. He was so disappointed when I told him we wanted to go on our own… I kind of regret that now,” Chloe says somberly.

“Yeah, me too,” Max adds as she leans into Chloe’s side. I know Chloe still gets sad, but at least she’s reaching a point where she can talk about William without breaking down. She thinks to herself as she turns the page.

“Hey, this is from my birthday last year.” Chloe points at a photo of Joyce, David, Max, and herself sitting around the dining table. Or at least that’s how Max imagines it would look if they were a normal, functioning family. Instead, they couldn’t even stay civil for ten seconds while the camera’s timer counted down. In the photo Joyce has her face in her hands, David is rising out of his chair mid-yell, and Max is trying to hold Chloe back as she looks ready to stab him with the cake knife. “You got so high that day, Max. You’re such a lightweight,” she teases as she bumps Max’s shoulder again.

“Thank dog Joyce didn’t end up telling my parents, they would have killed me.”

“You know, despite everything, that was actually a pretty good birthday.”

“Yeah… it was,” Max says to herself as the memory of the night they’ve never discussed plays behind her eyes. The words are out of her mouth before she even realizes she’s saying them. “Chloe, about that night-”

“I’m back bitches!” A new voice suddenly calls out, interrupting Max as the bedroom door is thrown open.

Chloe turns around and leaps from the bed, racing across the room before Max can even process what’s happening. “Rachel! Fuck, finally.” The bluenette exclaims excitedly as she scoops the blonde up in her arms. Max turns around just in time to hear Rachel’s giggles get cut off by Chloe’s lips.

At that moment, Max finds herself wishing she was in her room back in Seattle. She’s seen Chloe and Rachel kiss plenty of times on skype calls, but they were through a computer screen and usually short, chaste pecks. This is entirely different. They’ve seemingly forgotten Max is even there as Rachel’s legs wrap around Chloe’s waist and her hands tangle in her hair. It feels like a white hot iron stabbing Max in her chest as she curls in on herself and tries to look away.

“Somebody missed me,” Rachel comments breathlessly several minutes later.

“Fuck yeah I did,” Chloe replies, equally out of breath as she sets Rachel back down on the ground.

“You’re hair though, holy shit babe,” Rachels says excitedly as her fingers comb through blue locks.

“Badass, right?”

“I was gonna say it’s hella hot. But that works too. I knew it’d look good on you. I thought you were gonna wait so I could color it for you though.”

Chloe rubs the back of her neck as Rachel combes her fingers through her hair, examining it. “I uh… thought I’d surprise you.”

The comment stings as Max recalls a different reason Chloe had given her the other day. It isn’t until she clears her throat and stands awkwardly beside the bed that the couple seems to remember she’s there.

“Max Caulfield in the flesh at last,” Rachel smiles as she crosses the room.

“Hey, Rachel. It’s good to meet in person finally.” Max hopes her fake smile isn’t too obvious.

“Indeed,” the blonde replies before giving Max a quick look up and down. “And once again, photos don’t do you justice. You’re even cuter in person, Max,” she adds as she draws the brunette into a hug.

Annoyingly, Max actually feels her cheeks flush a little at the compliment. “It’s Chloe’s webcam that really doesn’t do you justice, Rachel. You really do look like a model,” Max says as she pulls back from the hug. Forget missing your opportunity, Max. Even if you hadn’t been a completely clueless idiot when Chloe kissed you, there’s no way she would have ever chosen you over Rachel.

“Flattery will get you far, Max,” Rachel says before turning back towards Chloe. “So, what’s the plan for today?”

“I don’t know,” Chloe shrugs. “We were just hanging out, waiting for you.”

“In that case, let's hit the beach then beg some free food off Joyce at the Two Whales,” Rachel suggests.

“Really?” Chloe asks in surprise. “Didn’t you just spend like every day the last couple weeks at the beach in L.A.?”

“Yeah, but you weren’t there with me. Can’t a girl want to see her super hot girlfriend in a bikini?”

“Well,” Chloe begins, kicking her cockiness into high gear as she takes Rachel’s hands in her own and pulls her close. “When you put it that way…” Max averts her eyes awkwardly as the couple kisses.

“You brought a swimsuit, right Max?” Rachel asks a moment later when she finally steps out of Chloe’s embrace.

“Y-yeah, it’s still in my suitcase.” 

“What, you guys haven’t gone to the beach yet? What the hell have you two been doing all week?” Max and Chloe glance at each other before shrugging simultaneously in response. “You guys are so lame,” Rachel fake groans. “Whatever, both of you get changed and meet me downstairs so we can have some actual fun.”

In retrospect, maybe a two-piece was a bad idea after all. Max thinks to herself as the three friends remove the clothes they’d worn over their swimsuits. The brunette can’t help comparing herself to the two older, more grown girls. Even the hanger looked better in this than I do. 

“Yellow is a good color on you, Max,” Rachel comments as she drops her shirt on top of her sandals.

“I don’t know, I think it just makes my freckles even more obvious. I don’t have the figure for this.” The brunette sighs as she pulls her shorts off and sets them with her own belongings.

“You’re still growing, Max, you’ll get there one day. Besides, freckles are hella cute” Rachel adds with a flirty wink. “Isn’t that right, Chloe?”

The bluenette stops in the middle of removing her shirt with the article half-covering her face and lowers her arms to make eye contact. “Er, what?”

“I said: freckles are hella cute, isn’t that right, Chloe?” Rachel repeats, giving her girlfriend an expectant look. 

Chloe’s eyes dart between the other two girls before once again covering her face by pulling her shirt up as she mutters a simple ‘right.’

“Well there you have it, two against one,” Rachel says, flashing Max her characteristic smile before turning away.

Max catches a glimpse of Chloe in her black bikini as the punk wiggles out of her shorts and promptly squeezes her eyes shut before turning away. Opening her eyes again, Max begins digging through her bag before pulling her camera out. “Hey, we should take a photo now that we’re finally all together,” she says as she turns toward the others.

“I’m amazed you didn’t ask earlier,” Chloe comments.

“I never say no to a camera,” Rachel states as she moves to stand next to Max. 

Chloe stands on the other side of Max and wraps an arm around her shoulders as the brunette raises her camera. “On three, say ‘Aarrr.’” Max commands as her eyes flick over to catch the bluenette’s grin. “One. Two.”

“Aarrr!” Max and Chloe say in unison as she snaps a photo of the three of them. 

“Me suspects that’ll be a fine photo of the crew, first mate Long Max Silver,” Chloe says in her imitation of a pirate accent.

“Aye, Captain Bluebeard. It’ll look good on the photo memorial wall of my quarters in the distant port of Seattle.” Max laughs as she places her camera and the photo back in her bag for safekeeping.

“I swear, you two are the biggest dorks I know,” Rachel comments as she shakes her head at the two friends.

“Watch yer tongue siren, yer one o’ us now.” Chloe counters, staying in character.

“Aye, we needs tah give this wench a proper tittle,” Max plays along.

“I’ll admit I like rum, but I’m not going to start talking like you two idiots.” Rachel crosses her arms defiantly over her chest.

“Then you can stay ashore landlubber,” Chloe says, sticking her tongue out at the blonde before turning toward Max. “The seas await the return of the scourge of Arcadia Bay, first mate!” She barks before practically tackling the shorter girl and hoisting her over her shoulder.

“Chloee~!” Max yelps as she’s scooped up and carried toward the water before she realizes what’s happening. Her cheeks burn when she notices where the bluenette’s hands are placed and she barely registers the scowl on Rachel’s face before a fit of giggles takes hold of her. “Chloe put me down.”

“Never! Now quit flopping around like a fish out of water.” Chloe answers as she shifts the girl on her shoulder. “Alright, Max, time to see if you’ve still got your sea legs.”

“What?” The brunette asks as she immediately stops laughing and looks around, noticing the water is already up to Chloe’s waist. “No. Chloe, don’t you dare-” 

But it’s too late for her to struggle as Chloe bends slightly and lurches forward, unceremoniously shoving the brunette off her shoulder and sending her falling back into the icy cold waves.

Panic grips her heart as chaos takes over her senses. Max gasps for air but receives a torrent of salt water instead as she flails about, trying to find the ground beneath her or something to grasp onto. Eventually, the heels of her feet hit the sand and she’s able to right herself, gasping and choking as she once again raises her head above water.

It takes several seconds of panicked breathing for the sound of rushing water to be replaced by maniacal laughter. When Max finally looks up, she sees Chloe doubled over, holding her stomach as she laughs. Anger fills her tiny body before she punches, sending a wave of salt water splashing into the bluenette and cutting off her laughter immediately. 

“You asshole!” Max yells, surprising the taller girl. “Why the fuck would you do that, Chloe? I thought I was going to drown.”

Chloe flaps her jaw uselessly a couple of times before the shock on her face is replaced with guilt. “Fuck,” Chloe’s tone turns apologetic as she steps closer. “I’m sorry, Max. I just thought it’d be funny-”

“Well, it wasn’t!” Max coughs. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“I-I know,” Chloe stutters as she places her hands on Max’s shoulders. “I wasn’t thinking, and I fucked up. I shouldn’t have done that.” Chloe pulls her in for a hug, wrapping her arms around the petite brunette and whispering into her ear. “I’m sorry, Max.”

Even though Max has known her for practically her entire life, it still catches her off-guard whenever Chloe shows her vulnerable side. This is so not fair. How could I possibly stay mad at Chloe when she’s hugging me like this? She can be really sweet when she wants to. Max wraps her own arms around the brunette and sighs.

“Do you forgive me?” Chloe asks, sounding unsure.

Max can’t help a laugh before she pulls away from the embrace. “Yes,” she answers with a shake of her head. “You know, one of these days, I really will stay mad at you for more than a couple of minutes.”

“Yeah, right. You love me too much to ever stay mad,” Chloe teases, giving her shoulder a playful shove.

Max opens her mouth to speak, yet no words form before a third voice catches them both by surprise.

“So are we actually going to swim, or do you two need to get a room?” Rachel asks, barely masking the harsh tone in her voice. 

“Uh, you guys go ahead. I’m going to go lie down for a few minutes and catch my breath.” Max says, shrinking under the blonde’s gaze.

“Are you okay, Max? Do you need some help?” Chloe asks, her voice full of concern again, as soon as Max turns away.

“Yeah,” the brunette answers as she turns and catches Rachel’s glare. “I just swallowed a bunch of water and I’m feeling kind of winded. I’ll be fine,” she adds as she turns back around and starts walking toward their towels and belongings.

With a huff, Max drops down on her towel, looking back at the other two girls as they play in the water. What the hell was that? I thought Rachel was going to kill me for a second there. She thinks to herself.

Well, you were hanging all over her girlfriend, Max. Quite literally in fact, of course, she’s not going to be happy with you. Max pulls her legs up to her, wrapping her arms around them and resting her chin on her knees. For several minutes, she watches Chloe and Rachel in the water as they swim around, throw water at each other, and occasionally kiss.

Chloe might have been the one that started it, but you can’t do that kind of thing with her anymore. You especially can’t hug her like that, she chastises herself.

She spends a few more minutes watching the other two before she decides to distract herself with her camera. She ends up spending half an hour walking up and down the beach, taking various shots. She even takes a couple of Chloe and Rachel from afar. She decides against hanging them on her wall at home and instead gives them to the happy couple.

Max once again finds herself sharing the bathroom, though this time she’s the one in the hot seat as Rachel scrutinizes her hair. Music floats in from Chloe’s HiFi across the hall, just as it had the previous day. The brunette had been excited at the prospect of changing her look. Now that the time has come to actually put scissors to hair though, Max can’t help feeling slightly apprehensive.

“So,” Rachel starts as she fans out Max’s hair around her shoulders and steps back. “What kind of look are we going for?”

“I don’t know… shorter?” 

Rachel’s eyes narrow at the unhelpful response. “Well, that really narrows it down. You don’t put much thought into how you look, do you Max?” The brunette merely shrugs, earning a small chuckle from the blonde. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, you’ve spent too much time around Chloe.”

“The fuck’s that mean?” The bluenette in question asks from her seat atop the cabinet behind Rachel.

“That you two are so much alike, more than you probably realize.”

Chloe And Max exchange glances before looking back at Rachel and saying in unison. “No, we’re not.”

“Right,” the blonde chuckles before turning back to Max. “Anyways. What’s ‘shorter’ for you, Max? You want it below your chin, above it like Chloe’s, super short like a pixie cut, or…” She pauses as she pushes some hair back, revealing Max’s forehead. “A buzz cut?”

“Dude, that’d be so awesome. You could be like G.I. Jane. G.I. Max,” Chloe says excitedly, kicking her feet.

“I don’t think so. There’s no way I could ever go that short,” Max states. 

“Lame,” Chloe sighs and hangs her head back.

“I’m not sure if I’m brave enough for a pixie cut either… Chin length might be nice though.”

“Easy,” Rachel smiles. “Bangs, or no bangs?”

Max opens her mouth to answer before stopping herself. “I can’t remember the last time I had bangs.”

“Bangs it is,” Rachel says as she begins playing with Max’s hair, moving it this way and that. “I’ve got it. Trust me, Max, you’re gonna love it.” She picks up the scissors before turning toward the punk. “You know, I’m kind of thirsty, you think you can bring me some iced tea babe?”

“We don’t have any iced tea,” Chloe answers.

“They sell it at the gas station, you know the one I like,” Rachel replies, turning on her charm. “Please.”

“Ugh, fine,” Chloe sighs as she pushes herself off the cabinet. “Do you want something, Max?”

“Iced tea sounds great,” the brunette smiles appreciatively. 

Rachel immediately sets about cutting the brunette’s hair as the punk walks out, heading for the door. Max closes her eyes and for a couple of minutes, the only sounds are the gentle snip of scissors cutting hair and music coming from the other room.

“So how long have you loved her?” Rachel asks abruptly.

“W-what?” Max stutters at the unexpected question, her eyes going wide before a clump of hair falls past them, forcing her eyes closed again.

“How long have you been in love with Chloe?” Rachel clarifies, her voice sending chills down Max’s spine despite her even tone.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Max lies.

“Don’t bullshit me, Max. I’ve had my suspicions ever since that first video call and today only proves it. Chloe might be oblivious to it, but I can see it clear as day every time you look at her or she calls your name, your face lights up. Don’t even get me started on that whole pirate shit at the beach earlier.”

“Chloe’s my best friend, that’s it. We’ve always been like that with each other.”

“Please, you were all over her the second she put her arm around you for that photo. And don’t think I didn’t notice you checking her out before that.”

“I-I wasn’t… I-it’s not like that.” It’s all Max can do to try and keep her voice from cracking. To keep the tears from falling as she squeezes her eyes shut.

“Fine, play dumb if that’s what you want. You should know though, Chloe already thinks you’re uncomfortable with her being gay and being with me. It would be so easy to turn her against you. Just a few words would be all it takes to make Chloe hate you.”

Rachel never stops cutting as she continues. “Chloe told me about that kiss on her sixteenth birthday. She seemed pretty broken up about it at the time; thought she fucked everything up between you two. I don’t know what your deal was then, but you missed your chance. And if you don’t want to lose your best friend, then you’ll stay the fuck out of my way and keep that stupid little crush of yours to yourself. I don’t care if you’re all the way in Seattle, you don’t want me for an enemy.”

The thought of losing Chloe rips a hole through her heart as a whimper escapes Max’s lips. Rachel doesn’t say another word as she continues her work. It unnerves Max when the blonde returns to her usual charming demeanor as she sets the scissors down and compliments her own work.

Rachel steps out at the sound of the front door and Max takes advantage of the distraction to shut the bathroom door, locking it. She steps back from the door, sits on the toilet, and pulls her knees up to her chest as she lets the tears she’d been holding back free.

“Your tea, my lady,” Chloe’s voice, muffled by the door, reaches Max’s ears. “Did you finish the makeover? Where’s Max?” 

“I did indeed. And I must say, I think it turned out quite cute.”

“Awesomesauce. I can’t wait to see,” Chloe’s voice gets louder and for a moment, Max expects her to push the door open.

“You can’t go in there right now,” Rachel’s voice halts the advancing footsteps. “She said her stomach was bothering her.”

“Really? She seemed fine earlier.” A sudden knock causes the brunette to nearly jump. “You okay in there first mate?”

“Y-yeah,” Max squeaks out, not trusting her voice to say anything more.

“Come on, babe, she’ll probably be a while.”

“But, I wanted to see her new look.” Chloe’s voice sounds further away.

“You can see it tomorrow when she’s feeling better. I on the other hand, have been gone a couple of weeks and I can’t get the image of you in that bikini out of my head.” Rachel’s voice gets quieter until it’s replaced by shuffling and a grunt followed by the sound of a door being slammed. 

Max stays where she is a few minutes longer until she’s sure she can’t hear their voices anymore. Getting off the toilet, she carefully opens the bathroom door. A bottle of iced tea and a pack of her favorite crumb donuts sit on the floor just outside the door. Across the hall, she notices Chloe’s door is shut. She walks over and is about to try the handle when a noise causes her to freeze. Morbid curiosity gets the better of her though as Max places her ear close to the door.

“Fuck, I missed when you do that, Rach.” Max can just make out Chloe’s breathy voice over the music. It’s raw and husky and causes her stomach to flip as she jerks away from the door. Did she…? Are they…? No, don’t even think about it, Max. She tells herself in vain as she backs into the railing, gripping her shirt. Don’t think about it. Just go sleep in the guest room. Shit, my bag is in Chloe’s room.

Her eyes remain fixated on the door until she manages to pry them away and she walks toward the guest room. Pushing the door open, the mostly featureless room that’d gone unused all week seems to mock her. The thin walls offer no relief from the noises that keep her awake all night.

Max Friday 3:01 AM: Pops.

Max: Can you pick me up today instead of tomorrow?

Dad 6:30 AM: Sorry sweetie, your mom and I both have to work today. Is everything okay? I thought we’d have to drag you back home kicking and screaming.

Max 6:37 AM: I just miss being home.

Dad: You know you can talk to me. Are you sure nothing’s wrong? Did you and Chloe get in a fight?

Dad 7:04 AM: Max?

Dad Saturday 7:24 AM: We’re just about to leave. We should be there around noon.

Dad 12:17 PM: We’ll be there in 20 minutes kiddo, get your stuff ready and say your goodbyes.

Max sighs as she sits on the guest bed alone. Her bags sit on the floor next to her. The house is mostly quiet except for the music Joyce has playing in the kitchen. She stares down at the floral pattern on the comforter. She could have slept in Chloe’s bed last night, considering the bluenette hadn’t been home, however, she couldn’t even bring herself to step into Chloe’s room.

So much for my triumphant return to Arcadia Bay. I thought I could handle hanging out with Chloe again without these stupid feelings getting in the way. But just being near her has made them so much stronger, it’s like I can barely breathe. How am I supposed to continue being friends with Chloe when it hurts just seeing her?

I wish she’d never kissed me. Then I wouldn’t have to feel this way.

The sound of tires screeching breaks Max out of her thoughts. It’s closely followed by the sound of the front door being thrown open and a voice that makes her heart ache more. “MAX?!”

“Jesus, Chloe, you nearly scared me to death. And just where the hell have you been?” Joyce’s comparatively quiet voice echoes up the stairs.

“I was at Rachel’s and I overslept,” Chloe replies in a panic. “Please tell me Max hasn’t already left.”

“Not yet. But you nearly missed her. She’s probably upstairs getting packed.”

A cacophony of thunderous footsteps follows before Max hears the door next to her’s thrown open. “Max?”

The brunette takes a deep breath to calm herself before answering. “I’m in the guest room.” 

She barely finishes before the door is thrown open and Chloe rushes in to hug her. “Fuck, I almost missed you.”

Max doesn’t return the hug as she answers with more venom than even she expects. “Yeah, you did. I was starting to think you’d forgotten I was even here.”

“Shit, I’m sorry about ditching you last night,” Chloe responds, her voice heavy with guilt as she sits on the bed next to her and rambles an apology. “I was just going to drop Rachel off and come right back but we… got distracted. Before I realized it, it was already late. I swear I set like five alarms so we could hang out this morning, but none of them went off.”

“It’s fine. I get it. You have Rachel now,” Max says bitterly, an unexpected anger – or is this jealousy – building in her.

Chloe winces at the comment. “Dude, come on, it’s not like that. You’re still my best friend. And… I thought you were okay with me and Rachel. Or you were at least pretending to be,” Chloe mutters the last part so quietly Max almost doesn’t hear it.

“I don’t think Rachel likes me.”

“What? Of course, she does. How could she not?”

Max opens her mouth, ready to tell Chloe about the bathroom, about the glares the blonde gives her when Chloe isn’t looking. Then she realizes doing so would mean having to explain why Rachel has been treating her that way. 

Her phone beeps before Max can think of anything else to say, followed by the sound of a car honking its horn. 

“Is that your parents?” Chloe asks, sounding dejected.

A quick glance at her phone confirms it. “Yeah…” Max sighs before the opening of the front door intrudes on their silence. Neither girl reacts though as they both avoid eye contact. They can hear Max’s parents and Joyce exchanging pleasantries. 

“Max…?” Chloe says at last but the brunette doesn’t meet her gaze as she stands and picks up her bags.

“I have to go,” Max deadpans as she starts toward the door.

However, she doesn’t make it far before Chloe grabs her arm. “Damn it, Maxine Caulfield.” Max nearly drops her bags as she’s yanked around and pulled into a tight hug. “I fucked up, I’m sorry. I don’t want you leaving mad at me, though.”

Letting her bags slip from her hands, Max hesitantly wraps her arms around the taller girl and leans into her embrace. I’m just fucking everything up by fixating on this crush. “I’m sorry, Chloe. I’m being a stupid bitch.” She smells like weed and Rachel’s perfume and it makes her stomach churn but she buries her feelings for the sake of their friendship.

“You’re not a stupid bitch, I am,” Chloe says as she places a light kiss in the brunette’s hair. “You’re my best friend, Max and you’ve always been there for me when I needed you most. I promise I’ll do better next time. So… are we cool?”

Max wants nothing more at that moment than to stay in Chloe’s arms. Reluctantly though, she pushes herself away. “Yeah. We’re cool,” Max answers, trying to convince herself more than her friend.

“Max, sweetie,” Ryan calls from downstairs, “are you ready?”

“Coming pops,” the brunette calls back as she takes one last longing look at her friend and turns away.

Chapter Text

Chloe July 18th, 1:17 PM: Dude this sucks, I miss u being here already.

Chloe: It’s such bullshit u couldn’t stay all summer 

Chloe: Or just move back here.

Chloe 1:52 PM: I still feel bad for yesterday and the night before.

Chloe 2:01 PM: I should have just ditched Rachel so we could hang out.

Chloe 3:21 PM: Ok, ur still mad

Chloe: Message received

Chloe: Or rather no message received

Chloe 3:46 PM: I fucked up I know

Chloe: I’m sorry

Max 4:07 PM: I’m not mad.

Chloe: U seemed pretty mad yesterday

Chloe 4:16 PM: And ur not answering my texts

Max: I just did.

Chloe: One text after I’ve been texting u all day

Max 4:29 PM: It was a long drive and I didn’t sleep well last night so I’m just tired.

Chloe: Y didn’t u sleep well?

Chloe 5:18 PM: Max?

Chloe July 20th, 10:04 AM: Wakey wakey sleepy head

Chloe: Do u still sleep in late?

Max 10:47 AM: Of course, it’s summer.

Chloe: Right

Chloe 10:54 AM: So what does a hipster like u get up to in the summer in a big city?

Max 11:08 AM: Not much.

Chloe 11:32 AM: Taken any amazeballs photos lately?

Max: It’s only been a couple of days.

Chloe 11:40 AM: So that’s a no?

Chloe July 23rd, 3:24 PM: Talk to me Maxie

Chloe: I’m hella bored

Max 3:31 PM: Where’s Rachel?

Chloe: Idk 

Chloe: It’s not like we spend every second 2gthr 

Chloe: And I want to talk to my bff

Max 3:44 PM: So talk.

Chloe: Wat r u doin?

Max 4:01 PM: Not much.

Chloe: Cool

Chloe: But u gotta be doin sumthing

Chloe 7:23 PM: Max?

Chloe July 27th 2:47 AM: U nkow wat Caulifield I said I wsa sory

Chloe: I konw I fukd up

Chloe: but dotn gib me teh silnt treetmnet

Chloe 3:04 AM: U cna be a bicth too somtiems

Chloe: And u ben atcing wiedr adn ditsant evre sinc I startde dtign Rahcel

Chloe 3:19 AM: So wft Max?

Chloe: Just say it ot my faec if u don liek Im gayyy

Chloe 3:26 AM: tehn u can fukc off

Chloe 11:21 AM: Fuck Max don’t read those texts

Chloe: I was drunk and I didn’t mean it

Chloe 1:17 PM: Max?

Chloe 9:42 PM: I’m sorry Max

Chloe July 29th, 6:27 PM: Max?

Chloe stares at her phone as she rereads through the last texts she sent Max. It’s already been several days since she last texted her friend and she still has yet to receive any response. She won’t even answer my calls. 

With a sigh, Chloe drops her phone on the makeshift table in front of her and leans back against the old car seat she and Rachel have been using as a couch in their junkyard hideout. The afternoon sun beats against the concrete walls, though the sea breeze still manages to reach them. 

“Still no answer from Max?” Rachel asks from her spot on the floor across the table as she rolls a joint.

Chloe’s brow furrows in annoyance at the dismissive tone in the blonde’s voice. “What makes you think I was messaging Max?”

“Because you’ve been practically glued to your phone the last week,” Rachel answers without looking up from her task. “And you’ve complained about her almost non-stop for the last few days.”

“I have not,” Chloe argues, crossing her arms over her chest. Rachel simply raises an eyebrow at the bluenette in doubt before returning her attention to her task. “Okay, fine. It’s just… it’s not like her to ignore me like this. Max would at least tell me if she was mad about something I said or did, and then we’d talk it out.”

“Until now that is,” Rachel observes, meeting the punk's eyes once she’s finished rolling several joints. “So what’s changed lately?”

“I don’t know,” Chloe answers in exasperation. “She was upset that I wasn’t around the morning her parents picked her up, but I apologized and managed to get there in time before she left and I thought we were cool.”

“So she was upset you were spending time with me instead of her,” Rachel states matter-of-factly as she stands and sits next to Chloe.

“I-I… yeah, basically. It’s been a couple weeks though, and Max has never been one to hold a grudge.”

Rachel fits one of the joints between her lips and grabs the lighter from the table. She takes a long drag, holding the smoke in before slowly blowing it out and offering the joint to the bluenette. “Well, I think she might have one against me.”

Chloe nearly chokes on the smoke at the comment. “What? Why?”

“Think about the day we went to the beach. From the moment I showed up, she never really seemed comfortable around me. She tried to monopolize your attention with that whole pirate thing. Then when I tried to join in, she got upset and took off for an hour.”

Chloe considers it for a moment, comparing Rachel’s telling of events with her own memories. Come to think of it, Max’s demeanor completely changed once Rachel showed up. “Max has always been uneasy around new people though.”

“Does she usually give them dirty looks too?” Rachel questions as she takes another drag of their shared joint.

“W-what? No, of course not,” Chloe’s brow furrows in confusion.

“Well, she kept giving me a look like she didn’t want me there whenever you weren’t looking.” The blonde states as she offers the joint back to Chloe.

“No. That’s not the Max I know.” Chloe ignores the joint as she stands and begins pacing the small room, unable to contain her conflicting emotions.

“Maybe you don’t know her as well as you think you do.” Chloe immediately stops in her pacing. She opens her mouth to argue but no words come before Rachel continues. “She moved over a year ago right? A lot can change in a year. And haven’t you complained about her growing distant since we started hanging out?”

Chloe slumps down on the makeshift couch next to the blonde with a sigh. “She has seemed kind of… off since then.” She accepts the joint when offered, taking one last drag before snuffing it out in an empty beer can.

“Look, Chloe. I’m not saying you should stop talking to Max. But I don’t think she’s ok with our relationship.”

Turning to face the blonde, Chloe narrows her eyes. “What do you mean, you think Max is homophobic?” Rachel merely gives a non-committal shrug. “She’s never said anything remotely homophobic.”

“Maybe it’s just me she doesn’t like then?” Rachel says before she lights another joint.

The sun may still be out, though the blinds prevent its light from shining through the windows, leaving the room in oppressive darkness. The only light comes from her phone’s screen as Max stares at the most recent messages from Chloe. The one’s she can’t seem to respond to.

Max August 2nd, 6:28 PM: You’re right, I’m being a bitch. I just

Max deletes the message before dropping her phone on the pillow next to her with a heavy sigh. I just can’t get the image of you kissing Rachel out of my head and my heart hurts every time I think about you.

Yeah, like you could say anything like that to Chloe. She wouldn’t want anything to do with you after that.

A light knock on her door causes Max to stir before hearing her father’s voice. “Dinner’s ready kiddo.”

“I’m not hungry,” she tries to call out but her voice comes out raspy and strained.

There’s a slight pause before she hears her father’s voice again, this time it’s quieter and laced with concern. “Can I come in?”

Knowing it’s probably useless to say no, Max relents and mutters a simple “yes.” She curls in on herself, covering her eyes as the light from the hall spills into the dark room. The mattress sinks down behind her a few seconds later before Ryan speaks again.

“I won’t force you to eat if you’re not feeling up to it. But your mother and I are starting to get concerned. You’ve been locking yourself away in here ever since you returned from Arcadia. Did something happen while you were there? Did you fight with Chloe or her stepfather?”

“Not really,” Max mutters after a moment, refusing to turn around to face her father.

“Ok, so no fighting. Did something bad happen? Something that upset you or made you sad?” Max merely shakes her head. “Have you talked to Chloe since you’ve been back?”

“Not… really.”

“So whatever is getting you down has to do with Chloe. Am I right?” Again Max can’t bring herself to do little more than nod. “So maybe it’s not that something happened, but rather it’s something that didn’t happen.”

The words are in her throat, threatening to be vomited out in a string of confessions. Confessions Max is too scared to say out loud. She swallows hard, pushing the words back down.

Ryan sighs before placing a comforting hand on his daughter’s shoulder. “Max. I won’t try to pry it out of you. But I want you to know, that whatever it is, you can tell me. Your mother and I love you, and nothing you can tell us will make us love you any less. Understand?”

“...Yes,” Max manages to whisper and the words rise in her throat again. She doesn’t let them out though.

“You and Chloe have been through a lot together, and you’ve had some rough patches. But I know that if you just talk to her, you’ll work through whatever is going on.”

The mattress decompresses beside her as Ryan stands up and walks toward the door, pausing briefly in the doorway. “I’ll leave a plate for you in the fridge in case you get hungry later,” he states before exiting the room and closing the door behind him.

Darkness envelopes Max once again as she stares at the wall in front of her. There’s just enough light slipping through the gaps in her window blinds to make out some of the photos she has stuck to the wall. One narrow ray of the dying light attracts her eyes to a photo of herself and Chloe smiling in their goofy pirate costumes from years gone. Her heart yearns for a simpler time. Before she moved to Seattle. Before she realized her feelings for her captain had blossomed into something more than best friends.

Pops is right. We’ve been through too much together to just let it fade away over a stupid crush. Chloe’s never going to feel the same way and the sooner I accept that, the sooner I’ll be able to get over these stupid feelings. 

Picking up her phone, Max turns over onto her back as she types out a simple message.

Max 6:57 PM: I’m sorry, I’m an asshole.

She waits with bated breath. Though the reply comes quickly, it’s no less abrasive than she expects.

Chloe 7:02 PM: I’m sorry, who is this? Because I’m pretty sure this number belongs to someone that I used to know, but I haven’t heard from them in a while

Max: I deserve that.

Max: I’m sorry for being a bitch and ignoring you.

Chloe 7:06 PM: Care to explain why u did?

Chloe: Then I’ll consider if I want to forgive u or not

Max 7:11 PM: I’ve just been

Max 7:13 PM: Dealing with some shit

Chloe: Dealing with some shit

Chloe: Thanks for making the effort to help me understand Max

Chloe: Really clears things up

Max: Chloe…

Max 7:26 PM: Please understand.

Chloe: How am I supposed to understand if u won’t tell me anything?

She’s in the middle of typing her response when her phone rings and Chloe’s photo pops up on her caller ID. Max quickly taps the answer button before holding the phone up to her ear. “Chloe?”

“You better have something better than another useless apology, Max,” Chloe’s voice cuts her off, the punk sounding rather impatient.

“It’s complicated, Chloe,” Max pleads.

“What’s so fucking complicated, Max? If there’s something going on with you, or I did something wrong, then fucking tell me. We’re supposed to be best friends who tell each other everything.”

“I know, but-”

“Then why won’t you fucking tell me what’s going on?” Chloe practically yells over the phone.

“I can’t,” Max answers meekly as tears begin to form in her eyes. “I want to Chloe, I swear. But I just can’t talk to you about this.”

There’s a heavy sigh from the other end of the line. “Can you at least give me a reason why you can’t tell me what’s going on?”

“I’m sorry, Chloe.”

“That figures,” Chloe replies, clearly dejected. “I don’t know what could possibly be so bad you can’t tell me about it. Did you kill someone? Because I’d totally help you hide the body-”

“What? No, dog why would you-”

“Are you like… transgender and want to be a man-”

“No, jeez Chloe where do you even-”

“I wouldn’t care and would support you-”

“No, I’m not-”

“Do you hate that I’m gay and dating Rachel?”

“No, Chloe, I would never-”

“Then why have you been acting so… weird and distant since you found out we’re dating?” 

“I-I haven’t,” Max lies. “It’s just… just this once, I can’t tell you. At least not for now.”

“You have been acting different, Max. Ugh, this is bullshit,” Chloe repeats before another heavy sigh reaches Max’s ears. “Fine. I’ll drop it. For now. But I expect an answer at some point.”

“I promise I’ll tell you one day,” Max says as she grips her chest. 

“And you’re not gonna ignore me anymore?”

“No.”

“Good… So, what have you been up to?”

October 2011

Chloe 3:47 PM: Sucks u can’t join us

Chloe: chloeandrachelatthebeach.jpg

Max: Ya

The Smiths play through her headphones as Max taps on the image. A photo pops up showing Chloe with the waves crashing behind her and Rachel with her arms around the bluenette’s neck, kissing her cheek. She has to tear her eyes away from the image and tuck her phone back into the pocket of her black hoodie as that familiar sense of yearning tugs at her heart.

She sighs, resting her head against the window, and closes her eyes. Her mind immediately goes back to that day at the beach several months ago. For just a moment, she can picture the sound of the waves crashing and the cool sea breeze ruffling her hair. Chloe is in her black bikini, water dripping from her hair and running down her skin with her arm around Max’s waist as she leans down to meet her lips.

Max opens her eyes and stares out the window of the school bus, watching the houses pass by. While their friendship had returned to some form of normalcy following their conversation a couple of months prior, Max still has trouble engaging with Chloe like they used to. Luckily for Max, Chloe has been true to her word and hasn’t pushed for an explanation since their talk.

Eventually, the bus pulls up to her stop and Max quickly stands, making her way to the front to get off. She walks the last couple blocks and is surprised to see both of her parent’s cars parked in the driveway when she reaches their house. Immediately she feels uneasy as memories from the day she learned they’d be moving to Seattle come to mind. 

Pushing her apprehension down, Max makes her way to the front door, unlocking it before entering. She barely has time to shut the door behind her when she hears her mother’s voice. “Maxine, sweetie, can you come here?”

She pulls her earphones out and pauses the music on her phone as Max turns toward the living room instead of running up the stairs to her room like she normally would. As she rounds the corner, she notices both her parents sitting on the couch, watching her attentively.

“What’s going on?” Max asks, as one of her hands reaches up to grip her elbow.

“Come. Sit down,” Vanessa says as she nods to the chair adjacent to the couch. 

As Max crosses the room, she recognizes the notebooks sitting on the coffee table. What the hell, why do they have my diaries?

“You’re not in trouble, pumpkin, we just want to talk,” her father says as Max drops her bag on the floor before sitting on the chair. She has trouble meeting her parent’s eyes as she worries her hands in her lap, her gaze continually flicking towards her notebooks. “Before we start,” her father continues. “Is there anything at all you’d like to tell us, Max?”

Her eyes dart toward the notebooks once again and suddenly she regrets wearing all black and an oversized hoodie as heat rushes to her face. “N-no,” she answers as her palms grow clammy.

“Very well,” Ryan starts as he shifts slightly to face his daughter directly. “Max, you know we love you and only want to see you happy.”

“But we’ve been worried about you lately,” Vanessa interjects. “You’ve been distant and more reserved than normal. You’ve been sleeping all day and skipping dinner; hardly leaving your room, and wearing nothing but dark clothes.” 

“We noticed this all seemed to start after you returned home from spending that week with Chloe,” her father takes over. “We were worried that something might have happened while you were there. But we wanted to give you your space until you felt ready to open up to us about it.”

“We couldn’t keep watching you slip further and further into depression without doing anything though,” Vanessa says. “We didn’t know what was going on and we’re afraid you might try to hurt yourself.”

“Mom, I wouldn’t,” Max finally speaks up, fearing where the conversation might be heading.

“That’s a relief to hear, sweetheart,” Ryan replies. “But we had to make sure for ourselves. And since you weren’t talking to us…” His voice drops off with an apologetic expression on his face.

“We decided to go through your room earlier,” her mother finishes.

“What?!” Max’s earlier nervousness quickly gives way to a spike of anger.

Ryan holds a hand up, trying to calm his daughter. “We just wanted to make sure you were safe and weren’t hiding any drugs or any-”

“Drugs, really?”

“Which we didn’t find any of,” Ryan clarifies.

“No shit,” Max replies bitterly as she stands up.

“Language,” her mother warns.

“You went through my stuff,” Max argues.

“Which we’re not proud of, but we had to do something,” her father says before pointing at her diaries on the coffee table. “And we found these.”

Max’s anger is instantly forgotten as her eyes fall on the notebooks. No. Please tell me they didn’t read them. “Mom… Pops… did you…?”

“We did,” Ryan answers with a look of regret.

Collapsing back in her chair, Max buries her face in her hands as a torrent of emotions swirls inside her. Anger, betrayal, embarrassment, worry, fear – all mix into a sickening feeling in her gut. “Oh my god,” she mutters as her fingernails dig into her scalp and tears threaten to fall.

“We understand you’re upset, Maxine,” Vanessa starts. “We want you to know that it doesn’t matter if you’re a lesbian or bi, or whatever. We love and support you no matter what.”

If the situation was any different, Max would feel relieved to hear her mother’s words. However, at the moment she’s unable to feel anything other than violated – like they reached into the very core of her being and everything she is was laid bare to them. Her parents have read her most private thoughts and secrets and seen things she’s never shared with anyone.

Ryan speaks up after a moment when Max doesn’t respond. “Is that why you’ve been so depressed lately? Because you have a crush on Chloe but she’s dating Rachel?”

“I-I don’t…” Max’s voice trembles in what she knows is a futile attempt to deny it as tears start to stream down her face. Still, she’s desperate to hang on to any feeling of privacy. “I-I’m not… like that.”

“Max, sweetie,” her father places a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. “You don’t have to try and hide it from us, we don’t love you any less. In fact, we kind of had a feeling this would happen. You and Chloe were always so close, so it’s not surprising you’d have feelings for her.”

“Some of the things you wrote do have us worried you might hurt yourself though,” Vanessa says. “Like writing that you don’t think you can ‘live without Chloe.’”

“Oh my god… I-I c-can’t believe you… read that,” Max manages to get out between sobs. “That was… private.”

“Maxine, we just-” Vanessa starts before Max shouts angrily, jumping from her seat.

“I don’t fucking care! You read my diary! How fucking could you?!” 

“Now listen here, Maxine.”

Max doesn’t listen though as she grabs the notebooks from the table and storms off toward the stairs, stomping her feet with each step as she runs to lock herself in her bedroom. The entire house shakes with her anger as she slams the door shut.

Chloe 10:47 PM: dude, that’s pretty fucked

It’d taken a while for Max to calm down, her diaries suffering the brunt of her anger as they currently lay about the floor of her room, their pages torn to shreds and secrets forever lost. However, once her anger subsided, she was left feeling physically ill at having her privacy so thoroughly invaded. She hadn’t given any thought to coming out to her parents, but she couldn’t imagine a worse way to do so. Eventually, she collapsed on her bed from exhaustion.

Chloe: I know u like to get ur snoop on sometimes

Chloe: but it’s not like u do it behind someone’s back and read through their diary

Chloe: just thinking about Mom or Cpt. Fascist going through my shit makes me sick

Max: I still can’t believe they did that

Max: I feel so violated

Max 10:52 PM: I don’t want to be here 

Chloe: fucking sucks u can’t just come over to my place like before

Max: I could buy a bus ticket

Max: I’m cereal, I don’t know how I’m supposed to face my parents

Chloe 10:58 PM: dumb question

Chloe: did they read something especially embarrassing?

Chloe: like no shit, ur parents reading your diary is embarrassing and fucked up

Chloe: did they really read something that would make Max Caulfield run away?

Max 11:05 PM: Yes

Chloe: shit

Chloe 11:09 PM: I know I promised to drop it 

Chloe: does it have to do with that thing u won’t tell me about?

Max 11:13 PM: … Yes

Chloe: That makes sense

Chloe: I think

Max: Ya

The three little dots indicating Chloe is typing appear and disappear several times then nothing. Max stares intently at her phone as she lies on her bed in the darkness of her room for several minutes. The three little dots finally reappear before quickly vanishing. Instead of a message, Chloe’s photo pops up on her screen with an incoming call.

“Chloe, I don’t want my parents to hear-” Max whispers – her voice raw from screaming – before the punk cuts her off.

“Just tell me you’re not thinking of hurting yourself.”

“W-what?”

“Please be honest with me, Max.”

“N-no. Of course not, Chloe. Why would you even think that?”

“Because I’m fucking worried about you!” From the sound of her voice, Max would swear Chloe is on the verge of tears and trying to hold it together. “If you don’t want to tell me what’s going on with you that’s fine. But this thing that’s been hanging over you is dragging you down and you haven’t been yourself because of it.”

“I’m sorry,” Max whispers lamely.

“I just…” Chloe sighs. “At least promise me you’ll talk to me before things get that bad. Promise me you’re safe. You practically saved my life before, after my dad died. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Max.”

A warmth spreads through her chest and for a second she almost feels okay. “I promise.”

“Thanks, Chloe. I think I’m going to try and sleep now.”

“Sure thing, Super Max,” Chloe says before she takes another drag of her cigarette, butt sore from sitting on the rough shingles of the roof for too long.

“Good night, Chloe.”

“Go to bed nerd,” she replies before flicking the remains of her cigarette over the roof of the garage and landing somewhere on David’s muscle car.

“Dork,” Max responds with a small chuckle that makes her smile.

She lets Max hang up first before lowering her phone. Chloe glances up at the waning moon as it hangs high in the sky. Her stomach turns and she can’t seem to shake the feeling that something bad might happen. God dammit Max, why won’t you just tell me what the hell has been eating away at you? 

With a heavy heart, Chloe stands before turning and climbing back in through her bedroom window. The room is dark except for the light from the glow bear on the shelf by her stereo. She walks over and sits down on the edge of the mattress, hanging her head low.

“That took a while, everything okay?” Rachel’s silky smooth voice reaches her ear before she feels the blonde’s arms wrap around her from behind.

“Max’s parents went through her shit and she was pretty upset about it.”

“Boo hoo, Tell her to join the club,” Rachel says dismissively. “My dad’s done that several times.”

“Well, Max hasn’t had to deal with that kind of crap from her parents before,” Chloe shoots back, feeling slightly miffed. “And they read through her diaries which contained some pretty private shit.”

Rachel pulls back and moves beside Chloe so she can meet her eyes. “She has a diary? What is she twelve?”

“Max has trouble expressing herself and she says keeping a diary helps her organize her thoughts. What’s so wrong with that?” Chloe pushes herself off the bed, growing more annoyed by the blonde’s comments by the second.

“It just seems a little childish is all,” Rachel comments as she stands, placing a hand on Chloe’s shoulder when the bluenette crosses her arms. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were so protective of her. It makes sense I guess. I mean, you did kiss her. Maybe you’re still in love with her.”

Heat rushes to her face as Chloe drops her arms by her side. “That was a long time ago. Max is my best friend, I’ve always looked out for her since we were little.” 

Chloe steps around Rachel and drops down onto the edge of the bed with a huff. A moment later, the blonde begins running her fingers through blue locks of hair before embracing the punk. Chloe relaxes in her arms and wraps her own around her girlfriend’s waist. 

“I know what’ll make you feel better,” Rachel whispers into her ear in a sultry tone as she places a hand on Chloe’s chest and pushes her back onto the mattress. She climbs on top of the bluenette and leans down, attacking her neck with a series of kisses.

“Rachel…” Chloe grunts in annoyance as she tries to put her hands on the blonde’s shoulders to push her off. Rachel merely bats her hands away as she continues kissing down her throat, dragging her teeth across her pulse. “Rach… stop.”

“Just relax,” Rachel whispers again, batting the bluenette’s hands away.

“Rachel… stop…” Chloe repeats, growing more annoyed as she fights harder against her girlfriend. “Will you just…” Rachel tries to restrain her arms and leans back to do so. However, it affords Chloe the chance to finally sit up and roll out from underneath the blonde.

“What the hell’s wrong-”

“Will you just stop for a minute?!” Chloe practically shouts as she jumps off the bed and takes several steps back. “Fuck, Rachel! Just…” Chloe huffs and shakes her head, taking a few steps to shake off her building anger.

“The fuck’s wrong with you, Chloe?” Rachel shouts, throwing her arms wide.

“I’m just…” Chloe stops and lets out a deep breath to calm herself. “I’m not in the mood right now.”

“Why? Because Max had a bad day?” 

“Because I’m fucking worried about her,” Chloe argues. “Her parents are worried she might hurt herself and so am I. So, I’m sorry, but I’m just not in the mood for sex right now.

Rachel crosses her arms over her chest and scowls at the punk before muttering. “I’m sure you would be if Max was here.”

“W-what?”

“You heard me,” Rachel scoffs. “We can hardly have a conversation without you mentioning Max ,” she continues, spitting out Max’s name like it’s poison. “Ever since we met you’ve been glued to your phone like a love-sick puppy waiting for its master.”

“Rachel, that’s not-”

“-You always put her before me and stop in the middle of whatever we’re doing to take her call.”

“I do not-”

“-Always having your little Skype calls and drooling over the stupid Polaroids she sends you,” Rachel yells, throwing her arm out toward the small collection of photos hung on the wall adjacent to Chloe’s bed. Chloe, for her part, falls silent, as her eyes dart in the direction of the Polaroids. Rachel lets out a tired sigh before regaining her composure. “God, Chloe. You’re so blind to the fact that you’re still in love with her. I thought that would change when we started hooking up. That you could learn to love me instead.”

“I do love you,” Chloe says, taking a step towards her. 

“Maybe you do… But not like how you love her.” Rachel takes a step back.

“I swear, Rachel. I don’t-” Chloe starts, taking another step closer. However, Rachel sidesteps the bluenette, making a beeline for the door. “Rach, where are you going?”

“I don’t know,” the blonde answers, pausing with her hand on the doorknob. “I need some space,” she finishes, pulling the door open and stepping through without looking back.

“Rachel,” Chloe calls out to her just before her bedroom door is slammed shut. “Fuck!” she yells as she kicks the corner of her dresser.

November 2011

“So, do you know why you’re here, Maxine?” An older, greying woman asks her as she sits in a leather chair across from her. Max herself sits on a matching plush leather couch in the rather spacious office. The decor consists of warm colors and plenty of sunlight to give a relaxed and comforting vibe. A large desk made of dark wood sits behind the older lady with a collection of degrees, certificates, and awards framed and hung on the wall.

Her eyes dart around, refusing to meet the woman’s eyes as she picks at the chipped black nail polish on her thumb. Max wishes she could just disappear into her black hoodie and sink into the couch rather than face what’s ahead of her. Seeing as that isn’t possible, she instead resorts to sarcasm to mask her discomfort. “Because my parents think I’m crazy.”

“What makes you say that?” The therapist asks in a neutral tone.

Max’s eyes still refuse to meet her gaze as she shrugs. It becomes apparent to her after a couple of minutes of silence that the woman won’t let her off the hook that easily though. “They think I might… try to kill myself or something.”

“Have you thought about hurting yourself, Maxine?”

Max shakes her head. “Max, never Maxine.”

“My apologies, Max. What would make your parents think that you might hurt yourself?”

Ugh, seriously? Max groans internally. “I don’t know…” Her eyes finally meet the woman’s for just a moment before glancing away again. Silence again hangs between them as Max fidgets with her hands in her lap. She can feel a pressure weighing down on her under the woman’s gaze. Several minutes pass before Max finally mutters an answer. “Because I wrote something in my diary.”

“Do you mind telling me what you wrote?” The therapist asks.

Max meets her eyes again and she can see something that isn’t quite a smile and isn’t quite concern. Still, it lets her know she’s safe. “I wrote that… I don’t want to live without… Chloe in my life.”

“Who is Chloe? A friend?” The woman asks, receiving a nod in reply. “How long have you known Chloe?”

“Practically my whole life. We met when I was four.”

“That’s a long time. How did you meet?”

“Some other kids were picking on me at a park and she scared them off. We ended up playing together after that and became friends.” Max can’t help the small smile that curls her lips as she remembers that day.

“Did she save you from bullies often?” 

“Yes,” Max admits.

“I take it you were pretty close then?” Max nods in answer. “How’s your relationship with Chloe now?”

Max looks away and worries her hands together in her lap. “It’s… complicated.”

“How so?”

“I’ve only gotten to visit her once, over the summer, since we moved here from Arcadia Bay. And… she has a girlfriend now… so we don’t talk as often as we used to. And… sometimes we won’t talk for a while.” Max grows more uneasy as she speaks.

“Do you have other friends you talk to?” The woman asks.

Max shakes her head. “No.”

“Have you met Chloe’s girlfriend?” Again, Max simply nods before lowering her head. “Do you get along with her girlfriend?”

“Not really.”

“And why do you think it is you don’t get along?” Max shifts uncomfortably, her hand reaching up to grip her elbow as heat rises to her cheeks. “I’m not here to judge you, Max,” the therapist says reassuringly. “This is a safe space. I’ll never tell you what you feel is wrong, because there is no wrong way to feel. Also, nothing we discuss leaves this room. Not even your parents will know. The only exception is if you pose an immediate threat to yourself or someone else. Understand?”

“Yeah,” Max nods.

“Good. How about we talk about something a little lighter? Tell me about your hobbies.”

Sk8tr.g1rl 9:24 PM: so, how was ur first sesh with the head doctor?

N0ir_Angel: You mean the therapist?

N0ir_Angel: I don’t know, it was weird.

Sk8tr.g1rl: weird how?

N0ir_Angel: I swear she had some kind of superpower to get me to talk.

Sk8tr.g1rl: oh yeah, they do that

Sk8tr.g1rl: do u think it’ll help?

N0ir_Angel 9:33 PM: Idk

N0ir_Angel: Too early to tell?

Sk8tr.g1rl: tru

N0ir_Angel 9:38 PM: Are you sure we can’t video chat?

Sk8tr.g1rl 9:41 PM: Rachel’s passed out on my bed

Sk8tr.g1rl: I don’t want to wake her

Sk8tr.g1rl: Y, u miss seeing my face?

N0ir_Angel: Yes

N0ir_Angel: I miss talking in-person

N0ir_Angel: I hate living so far away ;(

Sk8tr.g1rl: I’ll let that one slide

Sk8tr.g1rl: because I miss hanging out with ur hipster ass

N0ir_Angel: I am NOT a hipster!

Sk8tr.g1rl: u keep saying that, yet offer no proof

N0ir_Angel: hold on

N0ir_Angel 9:53 PM: dirtymirrorselfie.jpg

Sk8tr.g1rl: that’s a lot of black

N0ir_Angel: Too much?

Sk8tr.g1rl: holy shitballs

Sk8tr.g1rl: since when do u wear black lipstick?

N0ir_Angel: Does it look bad?

N0ir_Angel: It’s the first time I’ve worn it.

Sk8tr.g1rl: it looks hella good girl

Sk8tr.g1rl: I guess your sn finally fits

Sk8tr.g1rl: when did u go emo?

N0ir_Angel: ugh

N0ir_Angel: I am NOT emo either

Sk8tr.g1rl: that pic says otherwise

N0ir_Angel: You suck

N0ir_Angel 10:12 PM: Did Rachel tell you not to talk to me?

Sk8tr.g1rl: Max…

N0ir_Angel: Be honest with me Chloe.

Sk8tr.g1rl 10:18 PM: it’s complicated

N0ir_Angel: I don’t think it’s right for her to tell you who you can or can’t talk to.

Sk8tr.g1rl: she doesn’t

N0ir_Angel: …

Sk8tr.g1rl 10:21 PM: look Max, I don’t expect u to understand so just drop it

Sk8tr.g1rl logged off at 10:21 PM

February 2012

“Runaway” by Linkin Park plays through her old HiFi as Max lays in bed, catching up on reading for her English class. She’d planned on going down to Market Street again to take photos on her Saturday off. However, the weather had other plans and decided to rain down heavily, leaving her unsupervised and stranded at home.

And lame as I am, I’m doing homework. Max sighs as she glances down at her phone beside her. She’d hoped she could at least pass the time by talking to Chloe, except she hadn’t received a response in several days. I guess that means she’s busy with Rachel.

Turning her attention back to her book, Max rereads the same paragraph for the fourth time, not so much comprehending what’s written but rather just reciting the words in her head as she struggles to focus. This is pointless. She shuts the book and tosses it at the foot of the bed before rolling over onto her side. 

The pitter-patter of raindrops against her bedroom window flows together with her music as she pulls the hoodie up, blocking the light above her from shining in her eyes. She scans over the massive collection of polaroids stuck on the wall above her bed. Many of them are shots she took on the street or of nature, though there’s a large section of selfies mixed with photos of Chloe.

Max’s eyes eventually land on a small grouping of photos she took last summer. Chloe and her together on Chloe’s bed. Chloe, sitting on her desk and looking out the window contemplatively as she smokes. Chloe’s sleepy face as she lies sprawled out on her bed with the mid-morning sun in her face. Chloe, leaning over the engine bay while working on her truck. Chloe sunbathing on the beach in her black bikini, her hair wet, and water droplets running down her torso.

She bites her lip at the familiar tingling sensation that shoots through her core as Max’s eyes fixate on the last photo. Her mind grows hazy as she shuts her eyes. She can hear Chloe’s voice as she imagines that day at the beach playing out differently. Her cheeks flush as her imagination takes over, the Chloe in her mind hovering over her as she lies on the sand. Slowly, her hand runs down the front of her body, fingertips brushing the hem of her jeans and slipping underneath. “Chloe,” she whimpers

The roar of an engine and the squealing of breaks snaps Max out of her fantasy as her hand pulls away quickly. In her panic, she jumps from the bed and looks out the window to see a wholly unexpected sight. She smacks the pause button on her stereo and darts across the room, throwing open her bedroom door.

Down the hallway she runs, practically leaping off the top step as she heads for the front door, her heart beating fast. She skips the last few steps, heels landing hard on the hardwood flooring before she skitters to a stop in front of the door. Max doesn’t wait for a knock as she sees a shadow through the distortion of the glass window beside the door. She twists the top lock and nearly yanks the door off its hinges, surprising her guest.

“Chloe?!” Max gasps, short of air.

The bluenette stands there speechless with her hand raised, ready to knock. Her eyes turn from surprise to recognition after a second. Her hair and clothes are mostly dry, though her cheeks are dripping wet. Chloe’s lips tremble and Max’s heart sinks when she utters a pathetic cry. 

“M-Max.”

Chapter Text

February 2nd 2012

The last rays of the afternoon sun cast long shadows across the room as dust particles flicker in the light. The music playing out of the stereo, loud and angry, falls on deaf ears, too distracted to listen. The chill in the air also goes unnoticed as heat radiates off their bodies.

Chloe moves her lips down Rachel’s neck toward her collarbone as she pushes the thick flannel off the blonde’s shoulders. Chloe’s done this enough times that she’s memorized all of Rachel’s sensitive spots. She leans back without breaking contact as Rachel leans forward to remove the flannel. Chloe’s hand immediately slides under the blonde’s shirt as they settle back down on the bed, her fingertips tracing delicate patterns on soft skin.

She begins kissing lower, drawing a line down her sternum while her hand pushes Rachel’s shirt up. Chloe’s so lost in a haze of lust that she doesn’t immediately register the blonde’s protest until she feels a hand clamp down around her wrist.

“Chloe, stop,” Rachel demands firmly, though not unkindly.

Getting the message loud and clear, Chloe immediately removes her hand from the blonde’s shirt and leans back, sitting up worriedly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just… can we not do this right now?” Rachel sits up, leaning back against the wall and putting some distance between them.

Chloe’s brow furrows in confusion and she tries not to sound annoyed. “Why not? I thought you wanted to…”

“I did too,” Rachel argues as she crosses her arms over her chest. “I’m just… not feeling it right now.”

“You haven’t been ‘feeling it’ a lot lately,” Chloe replies dejectedly. She moves to the foot of the bed and sighs when the blonde doesn’t respond. “Rach, what the hell’s going on? Is it something I did? Something I’m not doing?”

“It’s nothing like that-”

“Then what the hell is it?” Chloe asks in a raised voice as she grows impatient. 

“I’m just not in the mood, ok?”

“You never are anymore,” Chloe complains as she pushes herself off the bed. With her back to the blonde, she walks over to her desk and grabs her cigarettes, fitting one to her lips before lighting it and taking a drag. “You say you’re busy all the time – with the drama club, or those Vortex assholes, or… whatthefuckever. And whenever you’re not busy, you just want to get high and drink and we make out for a bit, but you never want to go further anymore.”

“I never heard you complain about drinking or getting high before. And who always pays for that shit?” 

Chloe huffs in frustration, blowing smoke out in a large cloud. “That’s not the fucking point.”

“Then what is?” Rachel argues as she stands, face hard as she tries to make herself look superior.

“I want more than that,” Chloe practically shouts as she throws her cigarette out the window over her desk. “I don’t need to get high and wasted whenever we’re together. I love you, and I want to actually remember the time we do spend together. But I also have needs.”

“You have plenty of toys in that box under your bed if you have such strong needs.”

“That’s not… It’s not the same thing.”

“So you just want sex when we’re together?” Rachel asks, cocking an eyebrow at the increasingly frustrated punk.

“No- I mean, yes- no just… sometimes- It’s not just about sex. But you never want to anymore.”

“Maybe I’ve had a lot going on and I’m tired and stressed and just haven’t been in the mood lately. Did you ever think about how I feel Chloe?” 

“Of course, I just-”

“Hey, what’s going on in there? Why’s there shouting? And why’s that punk shit so loud?” David’s muffled voice calls from the other side of Chloe’s door, followed by the pounding of his fist.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Chloe groans. “Not now, I’m busy!” Chloe yells back as she crosses over to her HiFi and shuts it off.

“Why the hell is this door locked? Open it right now.”

“Jesus fuck, can’t this wait?”

“You open this door right now missy,” David yells back.

Chloe glances over at Rachel who merely shrugs and takes on a blank expression. “God dammit,” Chloe curses under her breath. “Ok, hold on, fuck,” she calls back as she walks over and unlocks the door, immediately taking a step back before it swings inward.

“Just what the hell is going on in here?” David asks as he steps inside the room, full security guard uniform still on as his eyes search the room. “Were you smoking dope again?”

“No, we were just talking. Or is that illegal now?” Chloe scoffs as she takes a couple more steps back, crossing her arms over her chest defensively.

“I heard shouting,” David comments as his eyes flick between Rachel and Chloe.

“For fuck’s sake, nobody was shouting.”

David turns and takes a step toward Chloe, ready to get in her face when Rachel speaks up. “I shouted,” she begins apologetically, catching the man off-guard. “I’m sorry, Mr. Madsen. Chloe and I were having a discussion and I got a little heated and raised my voice.”

“Is that so?” David asks, though his demeanor immediately softens as he meets Rachel’s eyes.

“You know how us thespians get. I promise it won’t happen again.”

“You make sure it doesn’t,” David comments.

“Jesus Christ man, will you stop harassing my friends,” Chloe speaks up.

“You don’t have any friends,” David says dismissively. 

“Whatever. Are you done here?” Chloe asks impatiently as she glances away.

“You need to learn some respect,” David replies before turning to leave.

Chloe waits for the door to close before flipping the double bird in his direction. “Fucking asshole.” She turns towards Rachel and is surprised to see her gathering her things as she drapes her flannel over her arm. “Where are you going?”

“Chloe,” the blonde sighs, suddenly sounding far more exhausted. “I’m tired and I’m not in the mood for all this drama. I’m going home.”

The pit of Chloe’s stomach sinks. “Fine, I’ll drive you home,” she says in a defeated tone as she walks over to her desk to grab her keys.

“No, I’ll walk.”

“What?”

“I just… need to be alone right now, Chloe.”

Chloe rolls her eyes and sighs heavily. “Whatever,” she says before snatching her cigarettes off the desk and walking back around the bed, making a point of ignoring Rachel. She fits a cigarette between her lips, though she doesn’t light it as she watches the blonde leave out of the corner of her eye without another word spoken between the two. As soon as her bedroom door is shut, Chloe takes the cigarette out of her mouth and angrily throws it at the door.

Chloe February 3rd, 11:20 AM: haven’t seen u in class r u ditching?

Chloe 12:04 PM: meet at the usual spot to talk at lunch?

Chloe 3:47 PM: can we just talk?

Chloe 8:12 PM: Rachel?

With a sigh, Chloe drops her phone as she sits on the edge of her bed in the dark room. She’s gone over the events of the day before as well as similar events for the past month over and over in her head searching for clues. None of it makes sense though. She’s witnessed a gradual shift in their relationship over the past few months, like something, has been slowly pulling them apart.

It started with less frequent sex, with Rachel initiating intimacy less often and leaving Chloe to try and pick up the slack. It hadn’t been enough for the bluenette to notice a change until she became the only one initiating intimacy. Rachel would often have an excuse ready as to why she wasn’t “in the mood.” The blonde gradually became distant, sharing less and spending more time with others. 

Winter break saw a large change. Rachel had spent the two-week break in California. At first, Chloe chalked up the delayed responses and lack of contact to the blonde simply being busy. However, even after she returned Chloe was finding it hard to get Rachel to spend any time with her. They’d gone from practically being joined at the hip, to brief encounters at school and only hanging out a few times a week outside of school. And every time Chloe tried to push things further than making out, she encountered resistance, leading to their argument the day before and now radio silence from Rachel.

Chloe reached under the bed for the small metal box she keeps her weed in, hoping to numb the pain. She finds it easily, however, upon opening the small box she finds only rolling papers, a lighter, and a sad empty plastic baggy with just the pungent scent of weed remaining. “Fuck,” she curses as she slams the lid closed and tosses it at a nearby pile of dirty clothes.

Picking her cell phone up again, Chloe exits her text thread with Rachel and pulls up a different number before typing out a message.

Chloe 8:23 PM: I need to re-up, u available?

She stares down at her phone for several minutes, waiting for the reply.

Unknown 8:27 PM: Beach 1 hour

Chloe tosses her phone back on the bed and lays back, grabbing a magazine to try and occupy her mind in the meantime. It does little to distract her from the churning thoughts in her head, but eventually, it’s time to leave.

The beach parking lot is expectedly dark when Chloe pulls in, the few lights being wholly inadequate to properly light the entire parking lot. Still, she manages to spot the old RV easily as she comes to a stop a safe distance away. The truck door groans in protest as she pushes it open and hops out. She walks around to what would be the front door of the RV, keeping an eye out for Pompidue and spotting the dog sleeping on the ground by the front wheels. The dog lifts its head, acknowledging her presence briefly before going back to sleep when she knocks on the side of the RV.

A moment later, Franks pushes open the door, scrutinizing her appearance before speaking. It might be hard to tell, though the man looks even more disheveled than usual like he barely managed to even dress himself. “Price. What do you want?”

“My usual.”

“You got money this time?” The man asks, narrowing his eyes at her skeptically.

“Of course,” Chloe answers as she reaches for her back pocket and the worn wallet. Her hand freezes when she hears another voice from inside the RV.

“Frank? Who’s there?”

Chloe’s brow furrows in confusion as she leans closer to get a look inside.

“Nobody. Just go back to the bedroom,” Frank calls back, waving away the other occupant.

She leans a little further, sticking her head inside the doorway before Chloe finally gets a look at who the other voice belongs to. Her eyes go wide and confusion grows as she sees a blonde girl standing in the kitchen area, not five feet away wearing nothing but her underwear. “Rachel?! What the fuck?”

“Oh, shit,” the blonde girl replies as they make eye contact.

“What, you two know each other?” Frank asks, sounding impatient.

“Rachel, what the fuck are you doing here?” Chloe asks, placing a foot on the step ladder leading into the RV. 

“Hey, back up, Price,” Frank warns reaching an arm out across the doorway to block her entrance.

“Chloe, it’s not what you think,” Rachel says, panic written all over her face, her usual confident composure gone.

“Not what I think?” Chloe yells as she tries to put another foot on the stepladder and push into the RV. “Are you… fucking Frank?!”

“That’s none of your business. Now back the fuck off, I’m warning you.” Frank threatens as he places a hand on the bluenette’s shoulder in an attempt to stop her from entering.

“Tell me this isn’t happening, Rachel,” Chloe yells, her initial anger begging to turn to pain as the realization takes hold.

“Chlo…”

“I said back the fuck off!” Frank yells before his right fist connects with Chloe’s left cheek, knocking her off balance and sending her flying back with one good shove of Frank's other arm.

Chloe lands hard with a groan but the adrenaline pumping through her veins helps her to sit up. Franks shouts ‘heel’ at Pompidue as the dog stands to attention, stopping the dog from leaping to its owner’s defense. “I better not fucking see you again Price,” Frank barks before turning away and slamming the door shut, leaving Chloe in darkness.

Pushing herself up, Chloe grits her teeth at the pain in her cheek, kicking sand at the RV before walking back to her truck. She nearly rips the door off its rusted hinges as she climbs in and fires up the ancient V8. Without thinking she pulls out of the parking lot in a cloud of exhaust smoke and screaming tires. 

Before Chloe realizes it, she pulls into American Rust. The back end slides out as she hits the brakes and turns the wheel, coming to a stop at an angle, just inside the gate. She shuts the engine off and for a moment, all is quiet.

“FUCK!” Chloe screams at the top of her lungs as she beats her fists on the steering wheel, the image of Rachel half naked in Frank’s motorhome front and center in her mind. Her stomach churns and heat rises to her cheeks as her anger boils over. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” 

She pushes the truck door open before jumping out, unable to contain the rageful energy inside her. She kicks the door shut before letting out another loud shout as tears stream down her face. A few motion-activated lamps provide just enough light for her to make out shapes in the junkyard around her as she stomps between piles of rusted cars. Her eyes land on a worn wood baseball bat and Chloe immediately makes a beeline for it. Her eyes scan the area for easy targets before spotting an old TV. 

“You said you loved me.”

Smash

The glass shatters with a satisfying crunch.

“You said we’d run away together.

Smash

She sends a glass beer bottle into a metal drum, shattering on contact.

“You said we’d always be together.”

Smash

A can of paint splatters across the ground.

“Was it all just fucking lies?!”

Smash

The head of a mannequin is sent flying before the body topples to the ground. Chloe raises the bat again and takes aim at the mannequin.

“I fucking loved you!”

Smash

“You were the only good thing in this shit hole after Max left!”

Smash

“How fucking could you?!”

Smash

“You fucking betrayed me!”

Smash

“I wish we’d never met!”

Smash

Crack

With one last violent strike, the bat strikes the battered mannequin, hitting the metal support rods. Splinters spray as the bat splits like her world is being torn apart. With a guttural yell, Chloe throws the broken bat away before grabbing a nearby box and shoving it to the ground, the contents spilling out in the dirt.

A bright flash of light practically blinds her as something hits the ground. It takes a few seconds for the spots to clear from Chloe’s eyes. When they do, her gaze lands on the offending object – an old camera.

Suddenly her arms feel heavy and her knees grow weak as her adrenaline fades. Chloe stumbles to the ground, falling on her hands and knees. Her eyes never leave the camera as tears continue to stream down her face. Carefully, she reaches out for the camera, afraid it’ll be spooked like a doe and run away. Her fingertips brush the cold metal as they wrap around the camera. “Max…” The lens is cracked and the body is in pretty rough shape. She cradles it close to her chest like it’s something precious.

With her energy spent, Chloe eventually stands up and makes her way back to her truck, still holding the old camera close. When she reaches the truck, she climbs in and shuts the door before laying down on the bench seat. She pulls down the old blanket she uses to cover the torn upholstery and wraps it around herself. The tears don’t stop until exhaustion claims her and she drifts off to sleep.

Frost coats the windows of the truck as a chill runs through her, causing Chloe to stir. “Fuck, it’s freezing,” she complains as she pulls the blanket tight before remembering where she is. Opening her eyes, the windows appear to glow brightly as the sun hits the ice. Refusing to leave the warmth of her cocoon, she reaches out and turns the key in the ignition. The old battery struggles but manages to crank the engine over and get it started. She twists the knob, turning the heater to full blast and waiting for it to warm up.

Chloe has to put up with several minutes of cold air blowing on her before the heater finally warms up. As she lies there, the events of the previous night replay in her head. The image of Rachel in Frank’s RV haunts her mind. It stabs at her like a knife twisting in her chest, hollowing out a gaping hole in her heart. Tears begin streaming down her face and she loses track of time as she lays in her heartache.

The tears do eventually stop, though the pain doesn’t. In an attempt to distract herself, Chloe sits up, letting the blanket fall down around her. There’s a thud of something hitting the truck’s floor as she does so. Looking over, she spots the old camera, not realizing she’d brought it with her the night before.

Without a plan, Chloe puts the truck in reverse and backs out of American Rust and onto the highway. She drives north. She doesn’t know where she’s going, just that she has to get away and something compels her in that direction.

She drives and drives until the needle on her fuel gauge sinks into the red. The sun is high in the sky, though it’s quickly being devoured by grey clouds when she pulls into a gas station. Using some of the cash she’d intended to buy weed with, she fills up the truck’s tank along with her own, grabbing a small bag of chocolate frosted donuts and coffee for the road.

Once she’s back in the truck, she decides to actually look up directions on her phone. Pulling her phone out, she opens the map app and goes to her favorites section. There’s only one address saved, though she made a point of programming it in as soon as she got the phone. As the route pops up on her screen, she notices the battery is nearly drained and won’t last the drive. “Shit,” she curses as she searches for something to write down the directions with. She grabs the black marker from across the dash and quickly scribbles the directions on the donut bag.

It’s raining pretty heavily by the time Chloe makes the last turn. She’d hoped the act of driving would help her mind focus on something besides Rachel. However, the entire drive has been a rollercoaster of emotions as tears come and go. Scanning the houses, she spots the number she’d drilled into her head and pulls into the empty driveway. 

She shuts off the engine and suddenly she has no idea what she’s doing here. It had just been a whim. Just a feeling that she had to run. She steps out of the truck and walks along the path toward the front door. She has no idea what she’s going to say as she raises her hand, and before she can even knock, the door swings inward.

“Chloe?!” An excited girl asks. Her cheeks are flushed and she’s clearly short of breath. She’s wearing dark makeup and looks like she’s swimming in her oversized black hoodie. The changes are subtle, yet it gives the girl an edge Chloe’s never seen in her.

Suddenly the floodgates open as Chloe lets out a pathetic cry. “M-Max.”

The brunette’s hand goes up toward Chloe’s cheek but pauses before touching it. “Oh my god, Chloe. What happened? Who did this?”

“Max,” is all she can manage as she breaks down into sobs once again.

She quickly finds herself being pulled into a warm embrace as Max wraps her arms around her tight. “It’s going to be ok, Chloe.”

“So Frank’s the one that gave you that?” Max asks, gesturing to the dark bruise around Chloe’s left eye, receiving a nod in answer.

Max managed to lead Chloe up to her room after standing in the doorway for several minutes, locked in a tight hug. It took longer still for Chloe to calm down enough to explain what had transpired over the last few days. Max listened patiently as the bluenette poured her heart out, holding nothing back. All the while, Chloe refused to let go of the brunette as they sat on her bed in a side hug.

“I’m sorry, Chloe. I just… I can’t believe Rachel would do that. I’m so angry for you.” I wish Rachel was here now so I could yell at her. You never deserved Chloe.

“Is it fucked up that I still love her?” Chloe asks beside her.

Max sighs and leans her head again the bluenette’s. “I don’t think it’s surprising that you do. You’re probably still in shock. It’ll take time to process and… move on,” she says, carefully choosing her words. “You don’t have to do it alone though, I’m here for you, Chloe. But… you are going to break up with her… right? After what she did?”

Chloe lifts her head from her shoulder and pulls away, her puffy red eyes going wide. “You never liked her, did you?”

“She cheated on you. Who knows how long or how many times? My opinion of her doesn’t matter right now, just what she did.” Max winces internally when she notices the shift in Chloe’s expression. Oh, fuck.

“You think… it was more than once?”

“I-I… I don’t know, Chloe.” Tread VERY carefully, Caulfield. “You said she’s been distant… for a while. And always busy – making excuses. I don’t know… maybe?” Worry and guilt gnaw at her insides when Chloe pushes herself off the bed, face hard as she takes several steps while keeping her back to Max. “I’m sorry, Chloe, please don’t be mad. I’m just… trying to put the pieces together.”

For a minute, she fully expects the punk to turn around and start shouting angrily. Instead, Chloe lets out a deep sigh as her shoulders sink. “No… You’re probably right, Max.” She walks back over toward the bed and drops down next to Max, burying her head in her hands. “Fuck this hurts. I really fucking loved her.”

“I know,” Max says as she places a comforting arm around the punk. “It won’t always hurt though.” For several minutes only the sound of rain can be heard. She barely registers the sound of the front door opening until her mother’s voice calls out.

“Maxine, sweetie, are you home?”

“Shit, my parents are home,” Max mutters as she nearly jumps and sits upright. “Yes!” she calls back.

“Can you come down?” Her father’s deep voice comes in response.

“Just a second!” she answers before turning her attention back to her friend. “It’s fine if you want to stay here. I’ll explain what’s going on to them.” Chloe simply nods before laying back on the bed as Max stands to leave. 

Out in the hall, Max can hear her parents’ voices from downstairs talking amongst themselves quietly. She can’t quite make out what they’re saying until she reaches the top of the stairs and hears her mother’s concerned voice. “...If she has a boy o-or girl up there?” 

They suddenly go silent and turn to Max as she descends the stairs. “Hey kiddo,” her father starts, his concern evident by his expression. “Do you know whose truck is in the driveway? Is someone here with you?”

“It’s Chloe’s truck,” Max answers as she reaches the last step.

Her mother relaxes as she quirks an eyebrow. “Chloe Price? You should have asked us before inviting her over.”

Max holds her hands up in defense. “I had no idea she was coming until she got here.”

“She should have called and asked if she could come then,” Ryan says, though not unkindly. “It’s not like when she used to live close by, it’s a long drive across state lines. Does Joyce know she’s here?”

“I-I don’t know… I don’t think so?” Max admits.

Vanessa sighs, clearly disappointed. “Well, bring her down here so we can talk to her.”

“I don’t think she’s up for it right now, she’s pretty upset.” Max tries to argue, hoping they’ll drop the issue.

“Did something happen?” Ryan asks.

One hand goes up to grip her elbow as Max considers how much to say. “Her and Rachel had a… pretty big fight. I guess she needed to get away for a while.”

“How long is ‘a while?’” Vanessa asks, clearly annoyed by the situation.

“I don’t know,” Max answers shifting uncomfortably. “She got here not that long ago, we haven’t talked about everything yet.”

Vanessa scoffs and is about to say something, however, Ryan speaks up first. “How about we just save this conversation for after dinner?” He suggests, glancing between his wife and his daughter. “For now, Chloe can stay the night, but she needs to call Joyce to let her know where she’s at. She’s not Eighteen yet and I don’t want Joyce calling the police thinking she’s run away or been abducted.”

Max nods her agreement, eager to get out of a potential argument with her mother. “I’ll make sure she does.

“Good, but we are going to have a talk about communication later,” Ryan reasserts.

Sunlight dances across her eyelids, causing Max to stir as the edges of consciousness intrude on her dream. She shifts slightly, nuzzling her face into the pillow she’s resting on. The line between dream and conscious thought blurs as she lies there, enjoying the warmth of her bed. It takes her sleep-addled brain several minutes to realize she’s not actually resting her head on her pillow.

Her eyes open wide as Max realizes what she thought was a warm pillow is actually Chloe. Her arm is draped across Chloe’s torso and her head rests on her shoulder. She looks up and is met with a sleepy face smiling back at her. Max panics as she scoots away, cheeks burning red. “S-sorry, I didn’t…”

“Aww, lame,” Chloe mumbles as she stretches, stiff joints cracking. “I was actually enjoying that. Didn’t know you were such a cuddler, Caulfield,” she teases.

“Jerk,” Max mutters as she gives the other girl a weak shove, earning a small, tired laugh. They lay in bed for a time, neither speaking. Max can’t help her eyes from being drawn toward the other girl. Sunlight and shadows play across Chloe’s face as a cool breeze from the cracked open windows blows the curtain. The light highlight’s the punk’s features, from the slope of her nose to the curve of her lips. Her heart flutters at the sight of the bluenette and Max has to look away before she does something stupid like kiss her.

 Instead, her eyes fall on the camera sitting on the edge of her desk, just within arm’s reach. Max leans up on her elbow and reaches out for the ancient contraption before laying back down and holding it high above her head. A small chuckle escapes the girl next to her before the mattress shifts and she feels Chloe’s weight leaning against her side. Max aims the camera carefully and takes the shot, grabbing the developing photo as it spits out. 

“That’ll be a keeper,” Chloe comments.

“It’s the first time you’ve come here. Gotta mark the occasion.”

“Wish it could have been under better circumstances,” Chloe replies bitterly.

“Yeah,” is all Max can really think to say. They fall quiet for a minute as the brunette focuses on the photo in her hand. “Is it stupid to ask how you’re feeling?”

“No. I don’t know… still hurts,” Chloe falls silent for another moment. “Fuck it,” Chloe suddenly speaks up. “I’m done crying over that… fucking cheating cunt. I want to have some fun today and not think about her.”

Max turns her head, examining the look on the punk’s face. She can’t tell if it’s determination or pained anger, but for now, a fire is burning in her eyes. “Okay,” she says as she begins to sit up. “I know what we can do.”

“Yeah?” Chloe asks, raising an eyebrow at Max.

“Yeah,” Max answers as she stands and walks toward her closet. “Let's get dressed and we can go get breakfast. There are some places I’ve been wanting to show you,” she says as she slides her closet door to one side, revealing half her closet.

Chloe whistles as she walks up behind the brunette. “Damn Caulfield, did you rip off a Hot Topic?”

Max rolls her eyes at the comment. “Says the punk. Just shut up and see if you can find something that’ll fit.”

“Max,” Chloe starts before standing to her full height above the diminutive brunette. “Nothing that fits your short, scrawny ass is ever going to fit me.”

“Well, it’s not my fault you’re so freakishly tall,” Max huffs as she steps back and crosses her arms with a pout. “Stupid, worthless puberty,” she mutters under her breath, feeling self-conscious of her body.

“Chillax Max. I keep some spare clothes in my truck.”

The brunette’s brow furrows. “Why do you keep extra clothes in your car?”

Chloe shrugs and looks away. “You already know I don’t always sleep at home and… in case I decided to… run away… Like I just did.”

Duh, did you forget she has to live with that asshole? Of course, Chloe’s prepared to run away. “Right… sorry,” Max mutters.

“Dude, it’s fine. It’s not like you’re around to see how shitty it is,” Chloe sounds reassuring but Max can’t help noticing the hard edge in her voice as the brunette deflates further. “Fuck, that came out wrong. I just meant because obviously…” Chloe trails off as her expression sours.

Max steps forward, wrapping her arms around the taller girl in a hug. Chloe relaxes a little in her embrace before returning the hug. “It sucks I can’t be there physically,” Max says, “but I’m always here for you, Chloe.”

“I know, Max,” Chloe sighs as she pulls away. “Enough mushy shit, I’m gonna go grab my clothes.”

“Starbucks? Really, Max?” Chloe asks skeptically as they hop out of her truck and start walking toward the entrance. “I thought you were into all those hipster cafes. Isn’t this a little too mainstream for you?”

Max rolls her eyes and shakes her head at the punk. “This isn’t just any Starbucks, this is the original Starbucks,” Max states matter of factly.

“I stand corrected. This must be the mecca of hipsters then.”

“It’s iconic. You’ve gotta come here at least once if you’re visiting,” Max argues.

“So it’s like completing the hipster’s holy pilgrimage,” Chloe teases further, bumping the brunette’s shoulder playfully.

“Fine, you can buy your own breakfast then,” Max retorts, sticking her tongue out at the punk.

“Aww c’mon, I’m just teasing, Sugar Mommaxie.”

Despite trying to keep a straight face, Max can’t help but laugh. “What did you call me?”

“Y’know, like sugar momma and Max? Sugar Mommaxie,” Chloe explains as she holds the door open for the brunette.

“That just sounds wrong. Besides, you’re older than me, shouldn’t you be my sugar momma?” Max counters as they get in line to order.

“Aren’t I sweet enough to you already? Or are you looking just for an excuse to call me mommy?” Chloe comments, wiggling her eyebrows at the brunette. Her cheeks flush as an image pops into Max’s head of Chloe leaning over her in bed. The image quickly fades when the punk begins cackling. “Oh my god, Caulfield, you were just picturing something, weren’t you?”

Max looks away with a groan and socks Chloe in the arm. “I was not! You suck,” the punch must not have landed hard as the punk simply ignores it and laughs harder.

“Come on, tell me what you imagined,” Chloe pokes her in the side.

 “I didn’t imagine anything,” Max lies as she bats away the punk’s hand. “You’re an ass.”

Chloe’s still laughing by the time it’s their turn to order, though she becomes oddly quiet while Max gives the barista their order and pays, politely responding to the man’s small talk. They find a relatively quiet table in the corner by a window to sit at. Max is busy hanging her bag on the back of her chair when Chloe leans over to whisper-shout at her.

“Dude, that guy was totally hitting on you.”

“What?” Max asks her, dumbfounded by the comment.

“The guy that took our order – he totally has the hots for you.”

Max’s brow furrows as she glances past Chloe. The bluenette turns to look behind her as well. The young man, Max would guess not much older than herself meets her eyes briefly and smiles before turning his attention back to the customer he’d been helping.

“Please tell me you just saw that, Max,” Chloe says as she turns back to face the brunette.

Max shakes her head. “He so does not. He was probably looking at you.”

“No way, he barely even acknowledged me when we ordered. He’s into that cute little emo waif look you’ve got going,” Chloe teases.

Max is about to argue when another employee interrupts, setting their drinks and pastries before them. She thanks the barista and takes a sip of her coffee before responding while Chloe tears into her breakfast sandwich. “Stop calling me emo, and I am so not cute.”

“Bullshit, Maximum Heartthrob. You’re a lot cuter than you think.” Chloe argues, almost sounding offended.

She’d barely bitten into her almond croissant before setting it down again to respond. “As if being covered in freckles wasn’t bad enough, I’m stuck with these stupid braces for several more months,” Max complains as she flashes the metal hardware on her teeth. “And I’m so flat, if it wasn’t for my hair, I’d look like a twelve-year-old boy. So no, I’m not cute,” she says bitterly before taking another bite of her croissant and sighing dejectedly.

“Come on, Max, you don’t look like a boy, you’re way too pretty,” Chloe starts, setting her breakfast down. “Some people like small, petite girls. And Rach-” She winces as the name almost slips out of her mouth. “I’ve already said your freckles are cute. So are braces. You’ve gotta stop being so hard on yourself.”

Max chews on her croissant slowly. Normally, she’d feel happy and hopeful about Chloe complimenting her. Given the current circumstances though, she quashes those feelings before they can surface. Now is so not the time to think about your stupid crush, Caulfield. She doesn’t know why she looks, curiosity perhaps, but her eyes look past Chloe toward the counter on the opposite side of the cafe. Sure enough, the barista that had taken their order earlier looks over their way and briefly meets her eyes before Max looks away.

“Just go talk to him. Hell, I’ll be your wingman, er… wingwoman, whatever.”

“I’m not going to go talk to him. Can we just drop this?” Max asks, a bit of frustration slipping into her voice. “He’s not even my type.”

“Fine, fine,” Chloe says, holding her hands up defensively. “Just trying to help a sister out, but I’ll drop it… Although,” her lips curl up in a smirk. “If bean boy isn’t your type, then what is?”

Max takes a sip of her coffee to hide the heat rising to her cheeks. “I’m not getting into that right now. We’re supposed to be having fun, not trying to find me a date.”

“So what did you have in mind next then?” Chloe asks before shoving the last, rather large, bite of her food in her mouth.

Suppressing a small chuckle, Max gives her a knowing smirk. “Did you bring your skateboard?”

“No. Fucking. Way,” Chloe practically squees with excitement as she looks out of the truck’s windshield at their destination. They’re parked in a dirt lot beside a freeway overpass. Most people would probably drive past without bothering to even look at what, for the uninitiated, looks like a dilapidated mess. 

Max, on the other hand, knew it would be the kind of thing Chloe would absolutely love. “Welcome to Marginal Way skatepark.”

“Dude, this looks hella awesome.”

“I thought you might like it,” Max says confidently, holding her camera up to snap a photo of the punk’s face-splitting grin. She grabs the Polaroid as soon as it spits out and gives it a quick shake before slipping it into her bag. “Come on, before more people start showing up.”

“Yes ma’am,” Chloe replies, throwing her door open before she freezes and turns back to the brunette. “Wait, what are you going to do? I only have one board.”

Max holds up her camera and shakes her head like it should be obvious. “You know I can’t skate for shit. I’ll be busy taking photos of you, so you better show me what you’ve got, Price,” Max challenges, knowing exactly how to get the punk riled up.

“I hope you brought enough film to capture all of my awesomeness,” Chloe teases as she hops out of the truck before grabbing her skateboard.

“On second thought, I’m not sure your ego can fit in my viewfinder. I wonder if NASA will let me borrow the Hubble Space Telescope,” Max counters as they begin walking toward the skatepark.

“Oh, har har.”

The two climb onto a concrete ledge running along the exterior of the complex series of bowls that make up the skatepark. Thankfully it’s relatively empty with just a handful of other people either skating or looking on, so Max won’t have to worry about getting in anyone’s way. She readies her camera before noticing Chloe hesitate to drop in. Taking another look around, she notices a distinct lack of flat ground.

“Is it too much?” Max asks.

“Not gonna lie, Maximus, it is a little intimidating,” the punk comments, her voice sounding unusually reserved. She takes a deep breath and shakes herself out. “Fuck it,” she says and places her left foot near the front of the board before leaning forward. She appears to be in slow motion for a second as her body follows the rotation of her board before the front wheels connect with the side of the bowl. Down she goes, momentarily disappearing from sight before speeding across the small gap and up the opposite side.

Max quickly raises her camera in time to snap a photo of Chloe as she reaches the lip of the bowl on the other side before turning and heading back down. A delighted squeal echoes out of the bluenette as she races back down once again.

Max does her best to keep up, running around the narrow ledges to get the best shots. At one point, she even drops down into the bowl to get a lower angle for a couple of shots before awkwardly trying to scramble back up the side and needing some help from Chloe. The incident brings out an endless stream of teasing from the punk in regard to Max’s lacking physical abilities. Otherwise, she does her best to stay out of the way.

By the time more skaters start showing up, Max has gone through several boxes of film and Chloe has a case of road rash down the length of her left arm from a nasty fall, though she’s grinning wide all the same. 

“Doesn’t that hurt?” Max asks with concern as Chloe sits down next to her on the perimeter of the skatepark.

The punk shrugs as she glances down at the rash. “Stings a little but it’s whatever. Did you get any awesome shots of me? You better have made me look hot,” Chloe teases

“I don’t have to do anything to make you look hot – and every shot of you is awesome Chloe,” Max answers a little too eagerly as she pats her messenger bag. It’s when Chloe’s grin falters a little that the brunette realizes what she said and quickly glances away as she puts her camera back in her bag.

“So, what’s next?” Chloe asks after an awkward pause.

Max thinks for a moment before an idea comes to mind. “Well, if you’re fine with a little backtracking, we could check out the Space Needle.”

“Show me the way, Cosmo Max,” Chloe replies as she stands up to head back to the truck.

Unfortunately, the Space Needle ends up being a bust. 

“Thirty-five dollars each?!” Max had practically screeched when they approached the entrance.

“Just to go up an elevator and look out a window? Fuck that!” Chloe agreed.

Instead, they ended up walking around Market Street, looking at all the vendors, poking their heads into different shops, and dodging flying fish in the fish market. It reminded Max of the rare times one of their parents would take them to Portland or a couple of towns over from Arcadia Bay to go shopping at the big mall. Neither of them bought anything, but looking at all the crafts and weird stores was fun. Inevitably, Chloe got hungry so Max suggested they get something to eat at her favorite fish ‘n chips place.

“So, I have an idea,” Chloe says ominously as she drops her crumpled-up napkin into her now empty basket.

“That sounds dangerous,” Max chuckles, receiving a death glare from the punk. The brunette simply ignores it. “Well, let’s hear it then.”

“Let’s get some piercings,” Chloe suggests excitedly.

Max blinks hard. “What?”

“I saw a tattoo and piercing salon back there – and I’ve been wanting to get more piercings. So let’s do it.”

“Chloe… I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” the brunette replies worriedly.

“Why not? Piercings are awesome. Not to mention, hella sexy,” Chloe argues, wiggling her eyebrows at Max.

“What about my parents?”

“I’m sure Papa C. will love it and he can handle your mom if she gets upset,” Chloe says as Max worries her bottom lip. The punk leans forward and lowers her voice. “Trust me, Max. With the emo look you’ve got going now, you’d be really hot with a nose ring.”

Max hopes the blush on her cheeks isn’t too obvious as she stares into Chloe’s sky-blue eyes. It’s all the convincing she needs. “O-okay.”

“YES!” Chloe practically shouts as she pumps her fists in victory. “Let’s blow this place then,” She adds as she stands and gathers up her trash.

Half an hour later and with a bit of persuasion mixed with a little flirting – make that a LOT of flirting, jeez Chloe – the punk had convinced the piercing artist they were both over eighteen. Luckily, the guy didn’t question her fake ID as it was from out of state and bought her explanation of how Max had lost her wallet earlier that day. Chloe agrees to go first to put Max’s mind at ease about how much it would hurt as she now sits in the chair.

“So which do you want to do first? Start easy with the nose or jump into the deep end with the navel?” The piercing artist, Mark, asks as he turns toward Chloe with an alcohol wipe at the ready. 

“Nose first. I want to see how skilled your hands are before I take my shirt off for you,” Chloe answers, laying on more charm and causing Mark to smirk.

Max reaches her hand up to grip her elbow. Dog, Chloe. Do you really have to flirt that much? He already agreed to this. She closes her eyes and squashes the jealous feelings before relaxing and opening her eyes. She catches the bluenette looking at her with an expression she can’t quite discern.

“Alright, ready?” Mark asks as he holds the piercing needle close to her nose.

“As I’ll ever be.” Chloe winces and lets out a small grunt as Mark quickly pushes the needle through, following it with a stud which he screws a backer into before wiping her nostril clean. “See, not bad,” Chloe assures Max, flashing the brunette her trademark smirk.

“The next one will be,” Mark warns. “You can just lift up your shirt past your navel.” Chloe does as instructed while Mark preps a clean needle. “This might feel a little cold,” he warns before cleaning the area with alcohol. The punk gasps a little and her stomach flexes in reaction. Max bites her lip as she watches. “Here we go.”

Chloe grunts as Mark jabs the needle through her skin. “Fuck.”

“I told you this one will hurt,” Mark says with a small chuckle as he wipes away a little blood.

“Yeah… no shit.”

“It’ll probably be sore for a little while but the pain should subside. Stand up and take a look,” he gestures toward the tall mirror on the adjacent wall once he finishes cleaning around the piercing.

The punk hops off the chair excitedly as she checks out her new piercings. Clearly satisfied, she spins around and strikes a pose for Max. “What do you think, Max? Do I look like a sexy badass?”

The brunette laughs and rolls her eyes as she tries not to blush. “You’re such a dork. But… it does look hella badass,” she comments as she admires the taller girl.

“Damn straight.”

“It’s your turn,” Mark tells Max as he finishes disinfecting the chair and gestures for the brunette to sit.

Max suddenly turns nervous as she sits and bunches her sleeves in her hands. Chloe places a comforting hand on her shoulder as she stands beside her. “It’s just like getting your ears done. It stings, but it’s over in a second.” Max closes her eyes and lets out a shaky breath as Mark wipes her right nostril with alcohol.

“Ready?” Mark asks. Max nods but otherwise keeps her eyes shut. “Deep breath,” he says before pushing the needle through. Max grunts and her eyes water. Before she knows it though, it’s already over and Mark is cleaning around the piercing. “Not too bad, right?”

“Nope,” Max half lies as she wipes her eyes.

“Have a look,” Mark says as he holds out a hand mirror for the brunette. She takes it and holds it up in front of her, checking the piercing – a simple stud made from medical-grade stainless steel – from different angles. “You’ll have to leave the stud in for at least a couple of months to prevent the hole from closing. After that, you can swap it out for a ring or whatever you want.”

“I told you you’d look hot with a nose piercing,” Chloe comments as she stands back to appreciate Max’s new jewelry. Max can’t help the small blush that forms on her cheeks at the compliment.

Mark glances between the two girls with a strange look before clearing his throat. “Just remember to keep your piercings clean. Jan will give you a little care package and explain how to care for them,” he points over at the front desk, sounding colder than earlier.

“Cool, thanks dude,” Chloe says as she hands the man a couple of bills for a tip.

“Any time.”

The two start walking toward the front counter but only make it around the corner before Chloe stops them. “I think this calls for a celebratory selfy.”

Max’s face lights up with a smile. “Sure,” she agrees as she pulls her camera out. Chloe leans in close with an arm wrapped around the smaller girl, their faces pressed together to show off their nose piercings; on opposite sides, like a matching pair.

“So, how mad do you think your parents will be?” Chloe asks once they pull into the driveway of Max’s house.

Max turns to face the bluenette with a look of disbelief. “You’re the one that said my dad ‘would like it and would handle my mom’” 

“I was just trying to talk you into doing it. Give you a little push. I have no idea how they’ll react,” Chloe admits.

“Y-You…! You said… I-I…” Her jaw flaps uselessly before letting out a loud groan and burring her face in her hands. “Oh. My. God. My mom is going to fucking kill me. I can’t believe I let you talk me into getting my nose pierced.”

“Well… too late to go back now,” Chloe replies nonchalantly.

Max raises her head and glares at the punk. “You’re an asshole.”

“Aww, c’mon Max. It won’t be that bad.” Chloe tries to play it off to calm the brunette down. Max isn’t having it though.

“Don’t talk to me,” she deadpans, holding a hand up to silence the punk before opening her door and hopping out of the truck. She ignores Chloe’s calls as she worries her bottom lip between her teeth and marches toward the front door. She reaches her hand out for the door but a strong grip on her other arm stops her and forces her to turn around.

“I’m sorry, Max. Fuck, please don’t be mad at me.”

Chloe’s voice sounds pathetic and she looks like she’s about to cry. Any anger Max has immediately melts away as she looks her blue-haired friend in the eyes. Those stupid, big, blue… fucking gorgeous eyes. It’s not fair I can never stay mad at her when she looks at me with those eyes.

“I’m not mad at you, Chlo,” Max sighs before she pulls the taller girl into a tight hug.

“You seemed pretty mad,” Chloe counters, sounding remorseful.

Max pulls back and can’t help a small laugh from escaping her lips. “When have you ever known me to stay mad at you for more than a minute?”

“Name literally any other time I’ve completely fucked up in the last couple of years. Last summer for instance.”

Max thinks back to the last time she saw Chloe and the morning her parents picked her up. Her voice sounds small when she speaks. “I wasn’t really mad – not for long anyways. I was disappointed. And hurt. A-and…” She can’t quite say the words as she remembers why Chloe is even standing before her. “It doesn’t matter,” she says, shaking her head before starting to turn back to the door. “Let’s just get this over with.”

Pushing the door open, Max peaks her head inside and glances around for signs of her parents. She spots the back of her father’s head as he sits on the couch in the living room watching TV, though she doesn’t see her mother. Taking a deep breath, she pushes the door open fully and steps inside. “We’re home,” she calls out as Chloe follows her in.

“Perfect timing, your mom’s almost done making dinner,” Ryan calls back, not taking his eyes off the hockey game he’s watching.

“Welcome back girls,” Vanessa calls out from the kitchen as she steps around the corner. “Did you have fun?” She asks before her eyes go wide with horror. “MAXINE CAULFIELD?! What in the hell is that on your face?” She shouts, causing the brunette to shrink in on herself.

“What?” Ryan asks in confusion as he mutes the TV and stands to look at his daughter.

“Uhm… surprise?” Max tries to smile past her fear.

“Is that a… nose piercing?!” Her mother asks, still not using her indoor voice as she rushes over. Max merely nods as she stares down at her feet. “What in the world possessed you to mutilate yourself like that this?”

“Mom, it’s not that big of a deal,” Max tries to argue.

“It most certainly is, young lady. I bet this was your idea, wasn’t it?” Vanessa accuses Chloe.

Much to Max’s surprise, the bluenette doesn’t even miss a beat as she speaks up. “Yes, it was. I was feeling like crap after my girlfriend cheated on me and was feeling a little reckless. I saw a piercing salon and thought, ‘Why the fuck not? Maybe a little physical pain will help ease my emotional pain.’ But I didn’t want to get one alone, so I talked Max into getting her nose pierced with me. So if you want to be mad, then be mad at me. Not Max.”

Vanessa stands there stunned with her mouth gaping.

“Chloe…” Max breathes appreciatively as she takes the punk’s hand in her own, entwining their fingers together and giving her hand a squeeze.

Vanessa’s eyes dart between the two young girls, seeming at a loss for words. She turns toward her husband with a frustrated tone. “Ryan?”

The lumberjack of a man simply shrugs. “I don’t see what the fuss is. Honestly, I think it looks kind of cool.” Max can’t help but smile at her father’s words.

“You don’t see what the fuss is?” Vanessa repeats, clearly not happy with his response.

“Nessa, Max is sixteen, she’s practically a grown woman. She’s smart and responsible and capable of making her own decisions.”

“That’s beside the point,” Vanessa argues.

“I was her age when I let my friends talk me into drunkenly getting that tattoo of a rose on my butt that you love so much. At least Max can always take out her piercing if she changes her mind. I’m stuck with my mistake.”

“Dude, no way,” Chloe cackles. She quickly sobers up though when Vanessa shoots her another glare. The bluenette clears her throat before uttering a small “sorry.”

“Look,” Ryan says calmly before Vanessa can say anything else. “How about we all take a minute to calm down before we have dinner? You girls, Chloe especially, have a lot you’re dealing with. Let’s just have a nice dinner.” He suggests, looking between both his daughter and wife, receiving a small nod from Max.

“Alright,” Vanessa agrees before turning her attention back to Max. “But after Chloe goes home tomorrow, and you get home from school, we’re going to have a serious discussion, Maxine. This conversation isn’t over.”

“Yes, Mom.”

“Oh man, I needed that after today,” Chloe comments as she pushes open the door to Max’s bedroom while drying her hair with a towel.

Max glances up from the book she’d been reading while sitting on the bed in her pajamas. Heat rises to her cheeks as she takes in the punk’s appearance. She’d borrowed a pair of Max’s shorts and when paired with the loose tank top she was wearing earlier, make for a very flattering outfit. “Tonight didn’t exactly go to plan,” the brunette says in agreement.

Dinner had been an awkward affair. Despite Ryan’s hopes, no one had really cooled off before they all sat around the dining room table. Max’s father made several attempts at lightening the mood, but they had little effect as they mostly ate in silence.

“We had a blast though, didn’t we?” Chloe asks as she tosses the towel into the hamper before plopping down on the foot of the bed.

“I really missed getting to actually hang out together like old times.” 

“Me too. It’s gonna suck going back home tomorrow.”

Max softly tosses her book onto her desk before sitting up and wrapping her arms around her legs. “Sorry about my mom.”

Chloe shrugs as she turns to face Max. “It’s my fault for making you get that piercing when you didn’t want to.”

“You didn’t make me do anything,” Max argues. “You just suggested the idea and gave me the courage to say yes… Like you always do,” Max whispers as she pulls her knees up to her chest.

“Goober,” Chloe teases as she reaches out and pokes the brunette’s nose. “We need some music,” she proclaims as she pushes herself off the bed and walks over to Max’s old stereo.”Let’s see what you’ve been listening to.”  She presses the power button and right away electric guitars and screaming lyrics fill the room before she turns the volume down so it’s mostly background noise.

“Don’t laugh,” Max warns when the bluenette turns around with a questioning smirk. “Hybrid Theory is a good album,” she adds defensively.

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Chloe comments as she walks back over. She sits on the bed and leans against the adjacent wall, careful not to disturb Max’s photos.

Neither speaks for several minutes as one song changes to the next. Eventually, Max speaks up. “I’ve been thinking about school.”

The punk groans. “It can’t wait ‘till you’re there tomorrow?”

“No, I mean like… in the future.”

Chloe opens her eyes and quirks an eyebrow at the brunette. “Okay. Lay it on me, Mathematical Max.”

“I want to go to an art college for photography-” Max starts before Chloe interrupts.

“No surprise there.”

Ignoring the interruption, Max continues. “It’ll be easier to get into if I’ve already taken some photography classes.”

“Does your school offer any?”

“No… but Blackwell does.”

Chloe squints her eyes at Max. “But you don’t go to Blackwell.”

“What if I did though?” Max asks rhetorically and cuts the punk off before she can open her mouth. “I was looking into it, and Blackwell has a program for seniors who live out of state. They admit a handful every year.”

“And you’re thinking of applying?” Chloe states more than asks.

“With my grades, my chances probably aren’t great. And it’s expensive. But they have scholarship programs. It’s at least worth a try, right?” Max smiles as she watches Chloe’s face light up.

“Holy shit. You mean we could finish high school together?” She asks excitedly.

“I don’t want to get my hopes up. But maybe?”

“Dude, that would be so fucking awesome,” Chloe says as she practically tackles Max with a hug.

“Don’t get too excited. I might not be able to get in because of my grades,” Max tries to warn, though she can’t help laughing.

“Then I’ll just have to be your personal tutor,” Chloe suggest before doing an imitation of a strict teacher. “Now Miss Caulfield, what would you add to this solution to make a pink gas?” She teases as she pokes Max in the side where she knows the brunette is ticklish and receives a yelp in response. 

“Sodium?” 

Poke

“Chloe, no!” Max squeals as she tries to get away from being tickled.

“Potassium?”

Tickle

“Chlo… stoo~p,” Max can hardly speak as the punk continues her relentless assault on her sides. “Noo~” She tries to move away and push Chloe off but the taller girl straddles her legs and bats her hands away as she continues to tickle her.

“I need the answer, Miss Caulfield. Is it Chlorine?”

Tickle

“S-stop… Chloe~E!” Max screams as she gasps for air and struggles to get away. She’s too weak from laughter though and soon finds it hard to control her breathing.

“Which is it?”

Tickle

“I-I… s-stop… Uncle…! Chloe… I-I can’t… breathe…” Max can barely manage as she uselessly tries to push the punk off. Much to her relief, Chloe stops her relentless attack, too distracted by the brunette’s flailing arms. She gasps for air as she tries to get her breathing under control. It takes a few seconds for Max to realize Chloe has her arms pinned to the mattress on either side of her head as she leans over the brunette. 

“Max.”

Chloe’s voice is soft, barely a whisper. Yet the way she says her name sends a shiver up Max’s spine. She’s still breathing heavily when she opens her eyes and is surprised by how close Chloe’s face is to hers. She can feel the taller girl’s hot breath on her face and she’s suddenly aware of the position they’re in. Max’s mouth goes dry as she stares into Chloe’s eyes, sparkling like brilliant sapphires. “Chloe,” she breathes as her eyes dart down to the bluenette’s parted lips.

Her heart thumps in her chest as Max licks her lips and meets Chloe’s eyes once more. Her mind is swimming and she’s still breathing hard. Her body moves of its own will with eyes half-laden. It’s what she’s wanted to do for so long, and now’s her chance. Her head lifts off the mattress. And for one brief moment, everything Max has ever wanted feels like it’s within reach.

Chloe’s expression shifts, freezing Max in place mere inches from her lips. Her heart clenches in her chest as the bluenette looks away. It all slips through her fingers as Chloe removes her hands from her arms before rolling completely off the brunette. Max squeezes her eyes shut and covers her face with her hands as the mattress shifts beside her.

You fucking idiot, Caulfield.

Max lets all of the air out of her lungs as she screams at herself internally. Removing her hands from her face, she sits up to find Chloe has her back to her as she sits at the foot of the bed. She takes a deep breath, preparing for the verbal barrage she expects to receive. “Chloe…”

“Am I really that fucking worthless and unlovable?” Chloe asks on the verge of crying.

“I-I… W-what?” It’s not the response she expected.

“You can’t even say no… can you?” Tears are streaming down her face when she turns to face Max.

“No, Chloe. That isn’t true at all,” Max answers as she moves to wrap her friend in a sideways hug.

“Then why did Rachel…?”

“I don’t know,” Max replies as she gives the bluenette a squeeze. “You’re the most kind, loyal, beautiful, smart, brave, amazing person I know, Chloe. You’re not worthless and you are loveable. If Rachel can’t see just how hella awesome you are, then that’s her problem. Maybe she knows she doesn’t deserve you and that’s why she did it. But you deserve so much better than her, Chloe.” Max pulls the bluenette’s head to the crook of her neck as she cries softly. She isn’t aware of how long they sit there before Chloe finishes crying. 

Eventually, the punk lifts her head up to wipe her face. She takes a deep breath and Max can tell she’s trying to keep herself together. “Can we watch a movie? Something dumb and mindless?”

“Sure,” Max responds with the smallest of smiles before she stands to retrieve her laptop. She flips the light switch on her way back to the bed, leaving the room in the dim light from the paper lanterns hung across her ceiling. Chloe crawls under the covers of her bed as Max slides in beside her and opens her laptop. She spends a few minutes finding something on Webflix before setting the laptop between them.

As the movie begins to play, Max feels Chloe lean into her side, resting her head on the brunette’s shoulder. The movie isn’t even half over when she feels the older girl’s head grow heavy. Max glances down and runs her fingertips through her hair to ensure Chloe’s asleep before shutting the laptop and moving it out of the way. She can hear the soft snores of the punk in the silence left behind.

“You’re not worthless, Chloe.” Max’s voice is barely a whisper. “ I love you.”

Chapter Text

A chill runs across her cheek, causing Max to stir as she pulls the blankets over her face. She tucks her legs in close, pulling the blankets with her into a sort of cocoon. A small tired chuckle, sweet and soothing like a cat’s purr reaches her ears. Opening her eyes, she’s greeted with a pair of sparking sapphires staring back at her.

“Morning sleepyhead,” Chloe whispers.

Max’s lips curl into a soft smile, wishing she could wake up like this every day. “Morning, Chloe. What time is it?”

The bluenette simply shrugs. “Early? Doesn’t matter.”

Her eyelids droop as Max yawns and stares back into Chloe’s eyes. There’s an intensity about them that makes her cheeks flush. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Does it bother you?” Chloe asks, sounding a little unsure of herself.

“No,” Max admits, her voice barely a whisper. That seems to reassure the bluenette as the smile she’d had before returns and Max realizes she looks a little sheepish. “W-what?” She asks with a small, nervous laugh.

“Your eyes.”

“What about them?” Max asks, feeling a little self-conscious. Chloe has her moments of mushiness, but something about her seems different to Max.

“They’re really… deep. Like looking into a vast ocean. It’s very calming,” Chloe comments after a moment. “They’re beautiful.”

“Oh…” is all she can manage as her stomach flutters.

“I love looking at them.” 

Max blinks, not sure how to respond. Chloe reaches out a hand and gently brushes past the brunette’s forehead, pushing some stray strands of hair out of her eyes and tucking them behind her ear. Max swallows and lets out a slight shudder as the bluenette’s fingertips trace back down along her jaw.

“Your freckles too,” Chloe says as slides her fingertips along the curve of her neck toward her shoulder, pushing the blanket aside.

“Chloe…” Her heart thumps hard in her chest as she stares back into her sky-blue eyes. Max doesn’t resist when the punk gently pushes on her shoulder, rolling over onto her back. They don’t break eye contact as Chloe moves to straddle her thighs, holding herself up with her arms on either side of the brunette’s head as she leans over Max.

“You’re so beautiful, Max.” Chloe’s voice is low and husky and sends shivers up her spine as the bluenette’s face hovers mere inches from her own.

“IloveyouChloe,” Max blurts out before realizing she’s opened her mouth. Panic immediately grips her for the few seconds it takes Chloe to register the words and a large grin appears on her face.

“I love you, Max,” Chloe replies as her left hand cups the brunette’s cheek. “I always have.”

Max’s eyes flick down to her lips and back up as her heart races. She can feel the girl’s hot breath on her face. “Kiss me.”

“As you wish.”

Her eyes flutter closed as their lips meet. Max suddenly realizes she has no idea what to do in the seconds their lips press together. Lucky for her though, Chloe seems to know exactly what she’s doing as her lips move against Max’s. The brunette tries to mirror her movements and it all seems to click into place. Max sighs happily as her lips part and the bluenette seizes her bottom lip, her arms wrapping around Chloe’s neck.

Max gasps for breath once Chloe pulls away and the two break out in a fit of giggles. “Okay, wowser, that was amazeballs.” Though Max’s eyes go wide when she realizes she just said that out loud.

“I know, I’m a great kisser,” Chloe teases before leaning down to kiss Max on the tip of her nose. Max tilts her head up so she can capture her lips instead. She feels light and her head is swimming as she moves her lip against Chloe’s, falling in sync with the other girl’s lips as she smiles into the kiss.

When they break apart a second time, a dark thought forces its way into Max’s mind. “What about Rachel?”

Immediately Max regrets asking as the bluenette’s face darkens upon hearing the name. “She’s a cheating cunt. She can eat shit and die for all I care.” Max worries her bottom lip for a second before the punk’s expression softens again. “I don’t want to think about her anymore. I just want to make out with my best friend.”

When she kisses Max again, it’s harder than the light, chaste kisses they shared before. She practically bruises Max’s lips from pressing so hard before nibbling on her bottom lip, eliciting a gasp from the younger girl. Taking advantage of her now parted lips, Chloe tests the waters by slipping her tongue in a little. Max welcomes her in as the bluenette lies down on top of her, letting her full weight press into the girl.

Max feels like she might explode from the overwhelming sensations as a tingling warmth spreads throughout her and she loses herself in Chloe’s lips. Her fingers tangle themselves in blue locks as she grips the back of the punk’s head. Their tongues dance around each other as Chloe shifts, moving one of her legs between Max’s and pressing her thigh into her.

*VRRRT VRRRT*

Max frowns at the intruding noise but doesn’t break away from Chloe’s lips.

*VRRRT VRRRT*

Chloe pulls away and leans up. “What’s that?”

“It’s nothing,” Max says in annoyance as she pulls the bluenette back to her lips.

*VRRRT VRRRT*

Max leans up and throws her arm out, fumbling around for her phone. She finds it after a second and shuts off her incessant alarm. As she lies back down with an annoyed huff, the edges of her consciousness become clear as the dream quickly fades. “Not that dream again.” She squeezes her eyes shut and tries to hang on to the fading memory. 

An image of Chloe on top of her, kissing her flashes through her mind for an instant before it’s gone. She lifts the blankets up and peaks down at the spare pillow wedged firmly between her thighs. “Fuck,” she groans as she removes it and tosses it to the side. She covers her face with her arm as she lies there, trying to calm down for several more minutes until there’s a knock on her door.

“Maxine, are you awake?”

“Yes, Mother,” she calls back with a sigh before sitting up and throwing her blankets off.

Grabbing her phone from her desk, she opens it in the hopes of seeing a new text from Chloe. Surprisingly, there aren’t any new messages considering the punk has been practically texting her non-stop the last two days since she returned home on Monday. An echo of the words dream Chloe said to her ring in her ears as she types out a good morning text before sluggishly getting out of bed.

Max goes about her morning routine with a strange mix of residual excitement from her dream and the crushing reality that it was exactly that, a dream. She does her best to avoid her parents, particularly her mother and gives only one-word responses. The entire house feels like it’s still on edge after Chloe’s surprise visit and all it entailed.

Chloe February 8th, 8:42 AM: ur mom’s still mad about the nose ring?

Max sighs as she reads the message on the bus ride to school.

Max: I think she’s gone back to denial.

Max: She still seems upset, but avoids acknowledging it.

Max: Instead, she was complaining about how late I was up last night talking to you.

Chloe: guess I’m not her favorite person right now

Max: If it’s any consolation I don’t think I am either.

Chloe: sorry for screwing up ur ‘perfect daughter’ image

Max: Please, you ruined that 11 years ago ;P

Chloe: that emoji better mean u want a tongue ring or I’m blocking u

Max: :( 

Chloe: nope u already used ur 1 per day

Max: Motion to renegotiate my daily emoji allowance.

Chloe: motion denied

Max: You suck.

Chloe: u love me

The faintest impression of deja vu comes over Max as she lowers her phone, trying to recall the dream she had as she closes her eyes.

Chloe 10:17 AM: So

Chloe: Rachel’s here

Max worries her bottom lip between her teeth as she reads the text while trying to keep her phone out of sight in English class. She glances up quickly to ensure the teacher still has their back to her as she quickly types out a response.

Max: What happened?

Chloe: nothing

Chloe: she ignored me when I called out to her and just walked on by

Max: Is that bad?

Chloe 10:24 AM: I don’t know

Chloe: I wanted to confront her

Chloe: get some answers

Chloe: she’d probably just tell me some bullshit though

Chloe: I don’t know if I’d trust anything she says

Max 10:31 AM: Maybe it’s better if you don’t confront her?

Max: If it’s not going to bring you any closure?

Chloe: so I should just forget it all happened?

“Max, is Shakespeare putting you to sleep?” Her teacher asks, causing the brunette to sit up and discreetly hide her phone under her leg.

“S-sorry, I’m awake,” she responds, receiving a couple of chuckles from her classmates.

“Then perhaps you can read the next passage. You have been following along, right?”

“Uh, yes,” Max panics as she flips a couple of pages.

“Thirty-one, top of page,” the girl next to her, I think her name is Kristen, whispers.

Max finds the spot and begins reading aloud. She relaxes when the teacher simply nods and continues walking around the class.

Max 11:02 AM: I don’t mean you should forget it happened.

Max: But maybe it’ll be easier to move on if you just let her go?

Chloe 11:05 AM: y do u always hav to be so rational?

Max: Somebody has to balance out your impulsiveness.

Max: Otherwise there’d just be chaos.

Max: That’s why we’re so good together.

Chloe: we ARE good together

Chloe: but chaos is so fun

Chloe 11:09 AM: wat would I do without u wise-Max?

Max: Corner Rachel and make a big scene in front of the entire school as you air your dirty laundry and then probably get called into the principal’s office.

Chloe: that could be fun tho

Chloe: everyone should know she’s a cheating bitch

Max: When has getting into a huge fight in front of everyone ever gone well for you?

Chloe: good point

Chloe 11:18 AM: fine I won’t confront Rachel at school

Chloe: I’m not going to hold back if she comes to me tho

Max: I can accept those terms.

Chloe February 14th, 7:22 AM: fuck today

Max 7:31 AM: Good morning to you too.

Max: I guess I don’t have to ask how you’re doing.

Chloe: fucking peachy

Max: I thought today might be hard.

Chloe: it’s bad enough it’s singles awareness day, but it would have been our anniversary

Max: I’m sorry.

Max: I wish I could actually be there for you.

Max: Like in-person.

Chloe 7:42 AM: at least ur in my phone

Max: I’ll be here all day.

Chloe: good because i’m going to text u non-stop today

Chloe: hav to keep myself distracted

Max: Happy to be your distraction :) 

Chloe: u don’t get an extra emoji allowance just because it’s valentines

Max: Chloe, you’re breaking my heart.

Chloe: how’d I end up with such a dork as a best friend?

Max: You’re the one that rescued me from those bullies.

Max: Now you’re stuck with me for life.

Chloe: i think i’ll cope

Max sits down on her bed, adjusting the pillows so she can sit up before grabbing her laptop. The last rays of sunlight spilling through her bedroom window are outshone as the street lamps flicker to life. Almost as soon as her laptop finishes starting up, her speaker chimes with an incoming Skype call. She takes a second to fuss with her hair and straighten out her shirt before pressing the answer button.

“Yo Maxinentine,” Chloe greets as soon as her image loads on the screen. “Got your candy ready?”

As always, seeing her best friend causes Max’s heart to flutter. She quickly squashes the feeling though as she smiles, holding up a bag of Hershey's dark chocolate kisses. “Pops always comes through for me.”

“Well…” Chloe drags the word out as she reaches for something off-screen. She holds up half a dozen chocolates in the shape of a rose with a green stick for the stem. “I have mine, you sneaky little cupid. I can’t believe you talked Step-douche into going to the student body’s booth to buy these and have them delivered to me in class.”

Max grins wide. “It was all Joyce’s doing. I asked if she’d be willing to do it for me but she said she’d talk David into it since he’d be there anyway.”

“Either way, it made today a little less shit. So thanks, Max, you’re seriously the best friend I could ask for.”

The brunette blushes a little. “We missed last year, but you’ll always be my valentine, Chlo. Although, there should have been a full dozen chocolates.”

Chloe grows sheepish as she rubs the back of her neck. “About that. I might have eaten one or two earlier. And traded the rest to Justin for some weed.”

Max shakes her head with a chuckle. “Why am I not surprised?”

“You know me well. Anyways, let’s get this double feature started.”

“Okay, what are we watching first?” Max asks as she opens her browser and clicks on one of her favorite sites that will allow them to watch movies together.

“You pick the first one,” Chloe comments as she busies herself with rolling a joint. “You know what I’m picking and I don’t want you falling asleep so early. Just… no chick flicks, please.”

“Damn, I guess that means The Notebook is out of the question,” Max teases.

“That was the longest weekend ever when you discovered that movie,” Chloe replies as she fits a freshly rolled joint between her lips. “My dad literally had to hide the DVD to stop you from watching it on loop.”

“It’s a good movie,” Max mutters as she scrolls down the list. Sorry Scott Pilgrim, not tonight. “How about… The Other Guys?”

Chloe’s brow furrows as she thinks about it. “Is that the one with Will Ferrel and Mark Wahlberg as crappy cops?”

“Yeah.”

“Sure,” the punk shrugs as she takes a drag of her joint. Her image is clouded and blurry as she exhales the smoke. “I could use a good laugh.”

“Okay, I’m sending you the link.” Max ends up spending just as much time watching Chloe on camera as she does the movie. It’s comforting to her to see the bluenette laughing and actually enjoying the movie rather than brooding. And despite Chloe’s earlier teasing, she does manage to stay awake through Blade Runner. At least a little bit longer than the punk does anyway.

“Happy eighteenth birthday!” Max exclaims excitedly as soon as Chloe’s image appears on screen. She giggles when she realizes the punk is wearing an old tricorn hat that barely fits with a Jolly Roger on it.

“Yarrr! Thanks, matey,” Chloe laughs as she holds up a bottle of brown liquid before taking a large swig.

“Is that actually rum?” Max asks, eyeing the bottle curiously.

“Aye!” Chloe cheers, holding up the bottle once more before taking a smaller sip this time and returning to her normal voice. “I stole it from step-shit’s cabinet in the garage. What more fitting drink is there for when a pirate comes of age?”

“Won’t he get mad when he notices it’s missing?” Max grips her elbow as worry fills her. All too often over the years, Chloe has complained about her stepfather’s abusive behavior. And while Chloe has never admitted to it happening, Max fears the ex-soldier has hit her before.

“Probably,” Chloe admits before taking another drink. “But that’s future Chloe’s problem. Don’t worry Maximus, I’ll refill it with tea or some shit before I put it back. He mostly drinks beer so he probably won’t even notice,” she adds, clearly noticing the brunette’s worried expression.

Max sighs and shakes her head. “I’d say to be careful, but you wouldn’t listen.”

“Damn right. I’m a woman who can’t be tamed.”

“Alright wonder Chlo, did you do anything special today?”

“Meh, not really,” Chloe shrugs before taking another drink. “Thankfully Sgt. Asshat is working and Joyce has the late shift, but she still made a cake. I did the usual “becoming an adult” thing and legally bought a pack of cigs and a porn mag. Wasn’t nearly as exciting as I thought it’d be.”

Max cringes. “You bought a porn magazine?”

“Yeah, you wanna see it?” Chloe grins mischievously at the brunette as she reaches off-camera.

“No, Chloe. I don’t…” Her words escape her for a moment as the punk holds up the magazine to the camera. She can feel her cheeks flush as her eyes immediately focus on the model’s nude body.

“Pretty hot, right?” The punk teases.

“Uh… yeah,” Max mutters to herself before Chloe tosses the magazine to the side.

The punk seemingly notices her blushing as she gasps. “Maxine Caulfield, are you blushing from looking at naked girls?!” She teases.

“What?! N-no!” 

“It’s okay to be curious y’know. You are at that age.”

“I-I wasn’t…”

“Relax Max, I’m just kidding,” The punk chuckles as Max groans in embarrassment.

“You suck,” Max grumbles as she crosses her arms and pouts.

“Aww, but you’re so easy to tease.” Chloe’s grin quickly drops as she takes another big gulp of rum. She leans back on her elbows, looking contemplative and perhaps a bit sad.

Max picks up on her change in mood quickly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Chloe says dismissively.

“I know when something’s bothering you. Tell me, Chloe.”

Chloe takes another sip. “I just… I wish…” Max can see she’s trying to force the words out, but something’s holding them back. “Just forget it.”

“Chlo…” The fact that there’s something seemingly eating away at her best friend and yet Chloe won’t tell her makes her heart sink to her stomach. They sit in silence for a couple of minutes. It’s when Chloe takes another drink that Max notices how much she’s consumed and opens her mouth to voice her concerns. However, she’s interrupted by the sound of Chloe’s phone ringing.

“Ugh, give it a fucking rest,” the bluenette groans as she checks the caller ID, her speech beginning to slur.

“Is it David?” Max asks, figuring Chloe would still at least answer if Joyce called.

With a shake of her head, Chloe holds the phone toward the camera so Max can see. “Rachel. She’s been texting me all day.”

A sense of dread grips the brunette’s heart. “What does she want?”

“Fucked if I know,” the bluenette replies as she drops the phone as soon as it stops ringing. “Started a few days ago actually.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” Max blurts out.

Chloe’s brow furrows in confusion. “I didn’t think you’d care…?”

“Of course, I care,” Max scoffs. “What’d she say?”

“I don’t know,” Chloe shrugs without offering anything more. The brunette gives her a questioning look, receiving a sigh before Chloe gives in. “Something about wanting to talk… and apologize.”

“Does she…” Worry and jealousy wrap around her heart like a thorny vine, squeezing the hope out of her. “You don’t think she…. wants to get back together… do you?” The only answer she gets is another noncommittal shrug. “Chloe she cheated on you. With a drug dealer,” Max pleads.

“Yeah, I’m hella fucking aware of that, Max,” Chloe practically shouts.

“Sorry. I just… don’t want to see you get hurt like that again. You’re not going to answer her… are you?”

“...N-no.”

“Chloe-”

“Can we just fucking drop this? It’s my fucking birthday!” Chloe yells, causing Max to wince.

“Yeah… Sorry,” Max whispers as she shrinks in on herself.

“Good,” Chloe replies before taking another swig of rum. She lets out a deep breath as she seemingly calms down. “Sorry, Max, I shouldn’t have yelled at you. It’s just… touchy subject.” 

“I know.”

They sit in silence for a moment, a tension lingering between them. Max wishes she could reach through the screen and comfort her friend, even tell her what she’s been hiding away. She knows now wouldn’t be the right time though. Soon, she thinks to herself, feeling a sudden sense of urgency brought on by Rachel’s texts.

“I need some air,” Chloe announces as she begins to stand and moves off-screen. “Be back in a few.”

“Okay,” Max replies before she leans back against the wall behind her. Left to her own thoughts, her mind begins to wander as she imagines Chloe meeting with Rachel and getting back together. She’s so lost in her thoughts, that she doesn’t immediately notice when Chloe returns and nearly jumps at hearing her voice.

“So, kinda feel like watching a movie and just chilling. That cool with you, Maxie?”

“Oh, uh yeah, sure. What do you want to watch?”

“Something with some action.”

March 28th, 2012

“So, Max. We have a little time left in our session. Any plans for spring break?”

The brunette sits on the couch in her therapist’s office, a place she’s become more comfortable in since her first visit. She used to dread their sessions at first, now though, it’s become routine for her to take the bus to Dr. Thomas’ office every Wednesday after school.

“Chloe’s coming over this weekend,” Max answers with barely contained excitement. 

“Oh, it’s only been a couple of months since the last time she visited, is that right?”

“Yeah. I was hoping she could come for the whole week, but our school’s spring breaks don’t line up, so she’s on break this week.”

“And how are things between you and Chloe?”

“It’s been good, kind of like old times. We talk every day.”

“And how has Chloe been since her breakup?” The older woman asks her.

Max considers the question for a moment before answering. “I think she’s getting over it. She doesn’t bring Rachel up nearly as often as she did at first,” she answers before pausing. “I know Rachel’s tried to contact her, but… I don’t think they’ve talked. At least, Chloe hasn’t told me they have. She says she doesn’t really care what Rachel has to say.”

“I’m sensing a little hesitation and uncertainty,” the therapist comments. “Are you worried they might get back together?”

Max begins wringing her hands together in her lap before nodding. “I think Rachel wants to… And I’m worried if she does, that… Chloe will forgive her.”

“And you don’t want Chloe to forgive her,” the older woman states more than asks.

“Right,” Max mutters as she drops her gaze, her heart clenches at the idea of Chloe taking Rachel back. “That’s why I decided to tell her how I feel this weekend.”

“That’s very brave of you, Max,” her therapist states in a kind voice. “I know this has been a long time coming for you. How do you think she’ll respond?”

“I-I…” Max fidgets as she grips her elbow. “I don’t know. She kissed me – before my family moved. So… I think she feels the same, or at least she used to. I hope she still does.”

“Well,” the older woman starts as she checks her watch. “Unfortunately we’re out of time today. But I want to wish you luck and I look forward to hearing good news at our next session.”

“Thanks,” Max replies as she stands to leave.

March 31st, 2012 2:14 AM

Chloe’s eyes flutter open in the dark as she lays in bed. She isn’t aware of what awoke her, but something immediately feels off as her brain tries to wake up. Her eyes slowly adjust to the low light as she stares at her closet and shapes begin to take form. A squeal from behind her alerts her to the disturbance and she immediately sits up in bed, ready to spring into action.

She can make out a shadow in her window as it’s slid all the way up with another squeal. “What the fuck?!” Chloe says throwing the blankets off her before she recognizes the shadow and freezes. “Rachel? What the fuck are you doing here?” She asks grogily.

“You won’t answer my texts or phone calls,” the blonde answers as she hops off the desk.

“Maybe because I don’t want to talk to you? You fucking cheated on me and then ignored me for weeks after.”

“I know, I fucked up,” Rachel admits as she sits on the edge of the bed, facing the bluenette. The light catches her at just the right angle for Chloe to notice her makeup is smeared and her eyeliner is running like she’d been crying. “You were the best thing that ever happened to me, Chloe. And I made a huge mistake.”

Her gut is telling her not to listen, that she should make the blonde leave. Still, part of her wants answers. “Why’d you do it then?”

“Honestly, I don’t know,” Rachel starts, her voice lacking its usual confidence. “I went to Frank’s to score some molly. I didn’t have enough money on me but I knew he’d been checking me out for a while. I thought I could use that to my advantage.”

“So, what? You fucked him to get high?” Chloe asks, not bothering to hide her rising anger. 

“Yeah. At first, that’s all it was.”

“At first?” Her heart clenches at the implication and it’s like she’s there at the beach all over again when she first saw the blonde in Frank’s RV. “That night I caught you with him wasn’t the first time?”

Rachel shakes her head. “The first time we hooked up was during Christmas break.”

“Jesus fuck!” Chloe curses as she stands and begins pacing in front of the closet. “I knew something was wrong. You didn’t want to have sex anymore because you were too busy fucking Frank!” She whisper-shouts, trying not to lose it and wake the rest of the house.

“Yes,” Rachel confirms, lowering her head in shame.

“Why couldn’t you tell me instead of stringing me along for months?”

“I never meant for it to go on so long”

“Like I’ll fucking believe that,” Chloe scoffs.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” Rachel says as she stands and walks around the bed. Chloe stops in her pacing as she faces the blonde.

“Well, you did. Just like everyone else in my fucking life does.” She crosses her arms as she turns her head. With her this close, she can smell the alcohol on Rachel’s breath.

“I know, and I’m sorry Chloe.”

She hadn’t expected hearing that word would affect her as much as it does, though her earlier anger begins to subside. “What the fuck do you want from me, Rachel?”

“A second chance to make things right.” The bluenette turns her head back to face her again and she can see the real Rachel, not one of the many masks she wears around others. “I love you, Chloe. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you.”

The words reach the deepest scar in her heart and the punk relaxes, dropping her guard. “Rachel…” Deep down she knows she should say no. But fuck if I haven’t missed hearing that. Her eyes fall on the suitcase by her door. “I can’t,” her voice is barely a whisper.

Rachel takes her hands in her own and looks her right in the eyes. “It’ll be better this time. I promise,” she begins as lets go of one of Chloe’s hands, instead reaching up to stroke her cheek. “I know I fucked up, and I’m sorry. But I can’t live without you, Chloe. I’m going to prove how much I love you.”

“Rachel,” Chloe tries to move away but her body doesn’t cooperate as she remains in place. Blonde leans up on her tiptoes to meet her lips pressing them firmly against the punk’s. Chloe tries not to react at first but her resolve quickly breaks as she realizes just how much she’s missed kissing Rachel. Chloe gives in, arms wrapping around her waist before her eyes close as she sighs into Rachel’s mouth when the blonde pushes her tongue past her lips.

They separate momentarily as Chloe’s brain attempts to catch up to what’s happening. Before it can though, Rachel pushes her down on the bed. Her hands immediately go to the hem of her shirt before swiftly pulling it over her head, golden locks falling about her shoulders. Chloe’s eyes trace over the other girl’s curves. She doesn’t have long to admire her, however, before Rachel kneels on the bed, placing her knees on either side of Chloe’s thighs as she sits in her lap. One hand grips the bluenette’s shoulder while the other tangles itself in Chloe’s hair as their lips meet once more, hungry.

Max fusses with the skirt of the latest dress she’s tried on as she checks herself out in the mirror. It’s a simple black sweater dress that hangs loosely and is far from flattering. “Looks like a funeral dress,” Max sighs before she reaches behind her to pull the zipper down. She tosses the dress on top of the growing pile of rejected clothes on her bed and stares at herself in the mirror.

Face it Max, there’s nothing to show off in the first place, no outfit is going to magically make your boobs look bigger or give you wider hips. You’re just a pale, freckly, bean pole. Turning away from her mirror, she walks back over to her closet and rummages around for something to wear. Maybe I should just stick to my boring skinny jeans and t-shirt combo.

No, there’s gotta be something in here that’s sure to catch Chloe’s eye. She pulls out a black, frilly skirt with red tartan fabric in the folds and on the pockets, and a riveted belt to hold it in place. She unzips it at the side before stepping into the skirt and pulling it up. It ends halfway up her thighs, leaving her freckle-spattered legs on full display. I think I have some fishnets that’ll help hide my stupid freckles. Is this too much though? I don’t know why I even bought this thing, I’ve never worn it. She does a little twirl and watches how the fabric flares out before settling back with a bounce. 

I just want to tell Chloe how I feel and ask if she feels the same, not seduce her into having sex. Max bites her lip as images fill her head of Chloe kissing her while the bluenette’s hand slides up her skirt. “Nope. Definitely too much.” She blushes as she quickly removes the skirt and tosses it with the rest of the rejects. Giving up, at least for the moment, she grabs a simple pair of black jean shorts and an old Nirvana shirt she stole out of a box of her dad’s stuff when they were cleaning out the garage. The shirt is easily several sizes too large, but she likes the faded look and the way it hangs off her slim shoulder.

Deciding to check her phone again for what must be the millionth time, Max crosses the room to her desk and picks up the device. Sure enough, there are no new notifications. She rereads the last few texts Chloe sent the night before, promising to text when she’s on the way and that she’ll be leaving early in the morning to maximize their time together. Chloe’s last text sent at 11:24 PM is followed by a dozen or so of her own, each growing increasingly more worried.

You should have been here hours ago. Where are you, Chloe?

With an anxious finger, she taps the “Call” button and holds the phone up to her ear. It rings four times and she expects it to go to voicemail like the last seven times she’s called. So her heart soars when the call finally connects instead and a soft, if somewhat raspy voice answers.

“H-hello? Chloe Prices’ phone.”

However, it’s not the voice Max is expecting to hear and her stomach drops as dread fills her. “R-Rachel? W-why do you have Chloe’s phone?”

“Max Caulfield. It’s been a while since we last chatted. How’re you doing girl?” Rachel asks in her mean-girl tone.

Max grips her chest as she ignores the other girl’s question knowing full well that Rachel isn’t being earnest with her. “Where’s Chloe?”

“Sorry, Max. You just missed her. Chloe’s taking a shower after working up a pretty good sweat last night. Not that I think she’d be able to talk if she was here anyways – her jaw has got to be sore.”

Her bottom lip starts to quiver and her eyes sting as Max’s grip on her phone loosens and she slumps down on the edge of her bed.

“I guess I ruined your little weekend plans. Sorry about that, Max, but I had to get MY girlfriend back.”

“No,” Max whimpers as the phone slips from her fingers, bounces off the corner of her mattress, and skitters halfway across the hardwood floor. She can just make out the other girl’s voice as the tears begin to fall down her cheeks.

“Sorry, Maxie, all’s fair and love and war, right?”

The rest of what Rachel says is lost on Max as she buries her face in her hands.

Chloe pushes her bedroom door open just in time to see Rachel setting her phone down on the bed. “What were you doing with my phone?” She asks as she tosses her towel on top of a pile of dirty clothes. 

“Max called wondering why you weren’t there yet. I told her you were fine but wouldn’t be making it up to Seattle this weekend,” Rachel replies nonchalantly.

“Fuck!” Chloe curses herself for getting caught up last night and forgetting about their plans. “I need to call her,” she says as she practically flies across the room. 

Rachel grabs her wrist before she can reach her phone, however. “She’ll be fine. A little disappointed I’m sure, but she said she understood.” Rachel pulls Chloe’s hand toward her, sliding one of her fingers into her mouth as she swirls her tongue around the digit. “You can call her later,” she adds as she pulls the bluenette with her onto the bed.

“Max, we’re home,” the brunette hears her father call followed shortly by the sound of the front door being shut.

“Chloe’s truck wasn’t outside, maybe they went out,” Vanessa’s muffled voice follows soon after.

“Max would have at least texted to let us know. I’m going to check her room real quick.” The sound of heavy footsteps grows steadily louder as Ryan walks up the stairs and toward her room. Max curses herself for leaving the door cracked open as the hall light slips through the gap. “Max? Chloe?” Ryan asks as he approaches the door.

“It’s just me pops,” Max squeaks out as she resigns herself to her fate.

Light spills into the room as her bedroom door is pushed all the way open, revealing her father’s silhouette. “Max, sweetie? What happened? Wasn’t Chloe supposed to be here by now?”

“She’s not coming,” the brunette answers pathetically as she sits up and wipes her eyes.

Ryan sighs sympathetically as he walks over and sits on the bed next to his daughter, wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulders. “What happened kiddo?”

Max sniffles as she leans into her father’s embrace, one hand reaching up to grip his shirt for comfort. “Chloe~...” a small whine escapes her mouth as she says the name. “S-she never messaged me when she was leaving… I kept calling her… b-but she didn’t answer.” Each word is a struggle to push out as she tries to keep it together without sobbing. “Eventually… I-I got through… b-but it was Rachel… They got back together.” 

Fresh tears spill down her cheeks as Ryan kisses the top of her head. Vanessa stands in the doorway but otherwise gives the two some space. “I’m sorry sweetie. I know that has to hurt.”

Sobs wrack her small body as she cries. “I don’t want to feel this anymore.”

“I don’t want these feelings.”

Chapter Text

April 2013

"I can't believe she'd do this to me," Chloe's voice cracks as it comes through the phone’s speaker. It’s clear how upset she is and Max suspects she’s been crying. In truth though, Max is finding it hard to feel sorry for her friend. Instead, what she mostly feels is frustration.

"I believe it," Max deadpans in response. She leans back against the bathroom sink with a sigh. It's not the first time she's had a similar conversation with her best friend over the last year; not even the third. "Chloe… You can't honestly tell me you didn't see this coming." 

"No!" Chloe shouts, causing Max to hold the phone away from her ear momentarily. "We promised we'd stay together and find a way to make it work. We promised to talk every day. A-and I’d fix the truck up so I could drive down to visit her."

"When has Rachel ever kept a promise to you?" Max challenges, not bothering to hide her frustration. Frankly, she's growing annoyed with Chloe repeating the same cycle every few months.

"Plenty of times," the punk answers, though her voice lacks conviction.

"Chloe… Look, I'm not trying to be mean, I know it sucks and you're hurt. But this was always how things were going to end when Rachel decided to graduate early and leave for California. You and Rachel have been on and off so many times that it's hard to keep track of whether or not you're currently together. And you're almost constantly fighting when you are. You guys can't go more than a few months without breaking up, only to get back together a week later."

"So I'll just wait for her to apologize and then we'll be together again," Chloe interjects.

Max rubs her temple with a groan. "That wasn't the point I was trying to make."

"Then what is it, Max? You just don't want me to be happy."

Chloe's accusation strikes a nerve in the brunette. "That's not fair Chloe. Nor is it true. How many fucking times have I been there for you over the years? How many times have you cried on my shoulder? When Bongo got out and ran into traffic. When your dad passed away, how many months did I spend going over to your house every day to make sure you were okay? To try and cheer you up? Then when your mom started dating David. How many times did I stand up to him for you? And how many times have you cried to me about Rachel? Don't you ever fucking say I don't want to see you happy! Because that's all I've tried to do for you for the last five years. All I've ever wanted is to see you happy again." Max practically yells into the receiver as the anger boils inside her. 

Silence hangs between them for a minute. Max takes a few calming breaths before checking her phone to confirm Chloe didn't just hang up on her. Eventually, though, the punk does speak up. "I'm sorry, Max. I shouldn't have said that. You have been there for me… a LOT." Max releases another deep breath as she calms down and moves to sit on the edge of her bathtub. "But Rachel and I have something special. You wouldn't understand because you've never been in a relationship."

Her words stab at Max's heart like hot iron. "What's so special about the way she walks all over you? How many times has Rachel cheated on you? Dumped you like yesterday's garbage whenever she gets bored of you? All she does is use you and then hurt you, Chloe. I'm sick of seeing you cry because of her."

"Sorry. I didn't realize my relationship is such a burden on you."

"Chloe…" Max groans in frustration. How did we even get to this point? It feels like every time Rachel comes up we just end up fighting because of her. Ugh, you can be so stubborn and quick to anger, Chloe. "You're not a burden. I just… I know you love Rachel and think she's this – amazing person. But she's not. You can't seriously be happy with how your relationship has gone with her." She pauses, giving her friend the chance to think about her question. When Chloe doesn't immediately argue back, she takes it as a sign she's getting through to the bluenette. "It's never going to change – she's – never going to change. You’re always going to be chasing after her. I just… wish you'd forget about her, move on, and find someone who actually makes you happy."

"Easy for you to say when you live in a big city. I only know one other queer girl, and Steph is not my type."

"Well, another year and we'll be headed to college, hopefully, the same school. I'm sure you'll be able to meet plenty of girls there," Max suggests.

"What if… I don't want to meet any other girls?" Chloe asks, her earlier anger absent from her voice as she sounds contemplative. 

"I think it would be good for you." 

"No, I mean… never mind."

"Chloe," Max starts after a moment of silence. "I do feel bad and angry for you about Rachel breaking up with you and the way she’s treated you. She's not good enough for you, so it's her loss. You deserve better."

"I know, Max. Deep down I-I… I know you’re right. It’s just…” Chloe lets out a loud breath. “You're the freaking best for putting up with me."

"Somebody has to," the brunette teases.

"Ass," Chloe chuckles. Another silence hangs between them. "I think I need some air. Maybe go to the junkyard and break some shit. Text you later?"

"Sure, Chlo."

The line goes dead a few seconds later and Max lowers her phone from her ear. She stares down at the chipped black nail polish on her fingers as she mulls over the phone call. I really hope this is the last time. Why can't you just move on and forget about Rachel?

Max pushes herself off the bathtub's edge and stands in front of the sink, checking her appearance in the mirror. "I guess you'd know something about that,” she mutters to herself before turning the faucet on and splashing her face with cold water. 

Once she's dried her face, Max exits her bathroom and crosses the hall to her bedroom. The muffled music becomes louder and clearer as soon as she pushes the door open to enter.

“Look who's back," Kristen announces from where she's sitting on Max’s bed.

“Took you long enough," Fernando adds, glancing over his shoulder as he searches through Max's closet. 

“Sorry guys, I had to take that call," Max replies as she walks over to her desk to plug her phone into its charger. 

"Girlfriend drama?” Kristen asks like she already knows the answer.

Max scoffs harshly as she turns around. "Chloe is so not my girlfriend.”

"The lady protests too much,” Fernando whispers in warning.

“I meant if Chloe had drama with her girlfriend,” Kristen corrects before she crosses her legs and leans forward with interest. “But let's unpack this. You totally have a crush on her, don't you little Maxie?" 

The brunette looks at her friend pointedly. " Had. Past tense. Nothing ever happened – or was ever going to happen. We’re better off as friends anyway.”

"Unrequited love is so bittersweet,” Fernando sighs dreamily. 

“What are you even looking for in there?" Max asks as she turns her attention to Fernando. “You know nothing will fit you. And I thought you wanted more guy clothes anyways."

"My mom threw away my jeans because they’re ‘too manly.’ I was hoping you'd gone through a fat phase before we met you and you'd have some that would fit me. Even girl jeans would be better than a skirt”

"Shit, again?” Max asks, feeling bad about her friend's unaccepting parents. "Did she find your binder too?”

"No, it's over there,” Fernando answers as he points towards the bed. "I tried wearing it during P.E. but it was too restricting and I had trouble breathing. I feel so~ much better now.”

"Dude,” Max complains as she crosses the room to the bed and picks the garment up. "Did you really have to throw it on my pillow? Oh dog it reeks,” she nearly gags as she tosses it at the boy. 

“Hey," Kristen interrupts. “Stay on topic. I wasn't done teasing Max about her crush."

“Past tense,” Max corrects as she returns her attention to the girl on her bed.

“So you say,” Kristen replies, waving her off. “So what’s she look like? You talk about her a lot-”

“I do not,” Max protests.

“You totes do,” Fernando interjects as he sits on the desk chair, having given up on his search.

“As I was saying. You talk about her a lot, but you’ve never shown us any pictures.”

Max’s brow furrows in confusion. “What are you talking about? I have photos of her everywhere,” She says as she gestures at the wall. 

Kristen twists her waist to look at the wall behind her. “ That’s Chloe?”

“Who else would it be? She’s my best, and pretty much my only, friend I had before moving here.”

“Yeah – no. I just never put two and two together. She looks like a badass punk model, and you’re… well…” Kristen states as she turns back to scrutinize Max’s appearance. “You.”

“What does that mean?” Max asks in offense, crossing her arms over her chest.

“You’re like, complete opposites. Didn’t think you were into the ‘bad girl’ type.”

“Chloe’s not a bad girl,” Max replies as she sits on the other end of the bed. “She’s just had a lot of bad shit happen to her. But she can be really sweet and caring. She’s super smart. And fiercely loyal.” A small smile pulls at the corner of her lips.

“Oh, my god,” Kristen gasps dramatically to get the brunette to look at her. “You totally have a crush on her,” she chuckles.

Max groans as she throws her head back in frustration. “For the last time. I don’t have a crush on her.”

“Yeah… still not buying it,” Kristen replies skeptically.

“Give her a break Kris,” Fernando interjects.

“Alright, fine. But I’m not dropping the subject of your love life.”

“You mean lack thereof,” Max scoffs.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Kristen warns. “Jeremy was asking about you the other day and if you were dating anyone?”

“Jeremy Stevens?” Max perks up a little. The image of the tall, handsome skater boy who sits next to her in art class comes to mind. “I talk to him in class sometimes, why wouldn’t he just ask me?”

“Because he wants to ask you to junior prom,” Kristen replies as if it should be obvious.

“You’re kidding,” Fernando and Max say in unison.

“I thought he was going out with Trisha,” Fernando questions.

“He only agreed to go out with her because she kept bugging him about it,” the other girl shrugs. “In any case, he didn’t take long to dump her and now apparently has his sights on our very own Maxter.”

“But, why me?” Max asks, surprised that the boy would have any interest in her.

“He said he likes talking to you,” Kristen shrugs. “Maybe artsy-nerdy pseudo-goth hipsters are his type?”

“Why does that sound like an insult?” Max glares at her friend.

“Your look is kind of confusing,” Fernando comments.

“Says the one who was just looking through my closet,” Max protests.

“For real though. Either choose between hipster waif or go full goth and embrace the darkness,” Kristen says.

“I think you should get a blood-red corset,” Fernando suggests.

“Or wear a hand-knitted beanie,” Kristen argues.

“Black, lacy gloves-”

“You definitely do not have enough flannel-”

“Some black high-heeled boots with too many buckles would complete the look.”

“You guys suck,” Max grumbles, putting a stop to their tag team teasing.

“At least we don’t suck blood,” Kristen counters.

“What does that even mean?” Max’s brow furrows in confusion as she looks at her friend.

“‘Cause you’re a vampire,” Kristen states like it should be obvious.

“But like, you were a vampire before it was cool,” Fernando quickly adds, earning a “Ha” out of Kristen before returning her high-five.

“You know I can kick you guys out, right?” Max states as she rolls her eyes.

“Then what? You gonna rub one out while looking at your wall of Chloe?” Kristen asks before receiving a face full of feathers when Max swings a pillow at her. “Ewww, god, that does smell like ‘Nando’s sweaty binder. Alright. I get it. No more teasing about your Chloe crush.”

“Anyways,” Fernando raises his voice, stopping Max before she can smack Kristen with the stinky pillow a second time. “You were saying about Jeremy?”

“That he wants to ask Max out,” Kristen reiterates before turning her attention back to the brunette in question. “I don’t get the whole skater dude thing. But-” she nervously glances at the many pictures of a certain punk stuck to the wall behind her, some of which feature a skateboard. “It seems like your thing. So should I tell him to go for it?”

Max briefly considers the pillow in her hand before dropping it back on her bed. Her eyes quickly flick towards the photos on her wall, then return to meet her friend’s expecting gaze, her mind made up.

May 4th, 2013

Max adjusts the straps of her dress in the bathroom mirror in an attempt to get it to sit right on her slim frame. She’d taken Kristen’s joking advice to heart and gone for an overly complicated black corset dress with too many straps and a pink lace floral pattern. It caught her eye when she saw it on the rack. However, now that she sees it off the rack – Ha! Get it? Because I have no chest – the brunette isn’t so sure about it. I should have gone with something simpler. It's too late now. She huffs as she gives up and instead decides to be thankful her dress has shoulder straps to hold it up. I look like a total poser playing at being a goth.

For a moment, Max considers how she could slip away without her date noticing to save herself further embarrassment. Okay, maybe I'm being overly dramatic. Jeremy's cute. And for some reason, he actually seems interested in me. We get along at school, so stop overthinking it and just go out there and be yourself, Max. 

She takes one last look in the mirror, trying to ignore what she sees as flaws, and focuses on the traits she likes in an attempt to psych herself up. “Right," she mutters to herself before turning to leave the restroom. 

Max's high-heeled boots thud more than they clack as she weaves through the dining room in search of her date. She draws the disapproving glare of the mother of a small family as she passes their table which she ignores before reaching her seat. 

"Sorry about that,” Max says sheepishly as she sits opposite her date. 

"No prob, Max," the young man in a loose-fitting tux replies as he looks up and smiles at her. 

“This dress isn't as easy to wear as I thought it'd be. I should have gotten something simpler," Max blurts out awkwardly.

“No way, it looks awesome on you. You look hot, Max,” Jeremy adds, causing the brunette to blush. 

Their food arrived while Max was in the bathroom, so she picks up her fork and is about to dig into her pasta when she notices Jeremy hasn't started yet. “You didn't have to wait for me."

The boy merely shrugs as he takes a bite before replying. “I thought that would be rude.”

"I wouldn't have minded.”

It's quiet for a few minutes as they eat, the sound of cutlery and hushed conversations serving as background noise. "So,” Jeremy starts, "you said you're not from Seattle originally, right?”

Max sets her fork down and dabs her lips before answering. "Right. I'm from Oregon actually. A small town on the coast called Arcadia Bay. My family moved here a few years ago for my dad's work.”

"Do you miss it?” The boy asks with interest.

"Yeah," the brunette replies after taking another bite. “Maybe it's just childhood nostalgia, but there always seemed to be something magical about it. Seattle's great, but it can be a little overwhelming sometimes. And I miss being surrounded by the forest – my best friend, Chloe, and I used to go exploring the forest all the time growing up.”

“Do you still talk to her?"

“Yeah, every day. She's helping me apply to Blackwell Academy for my senior year. It's this private art school in Arcadia Bay that she goes to.”

“Oh…?”

“They have this really awesome photography program,” Max continues excitedly. "It's taught by Mark Jefferson. He was a really famous photographer in the punk and grunge scenes during the 90s before going into high fashion. He's one of my photography idols and it'd be so awesome to get to learn from him.”

"Sounds cool," the boy responds.

“It's always been my dream to travel and be a world-famous photographer."

“Well… I hope you get accepted then." 

… 

… 

"We forgot to clean up the bathroom though and left bloody paper towels all over the sink and floor,” Max resumes her story after the waiter takes their plates away. "So Joyce came home and freaked out, thinking something terrible had happened. Chloe still has a scar on her knee from where she scraped it after falling off her skateboard.”

“Ouch. Do you skate?” Jeremy asks, receiving a shake of the head as the brunette takes a sip of her water. "You should totally come to the skate park sometime. It's not hard to learn, I could teach you."

“Only if you want to see me fall on my butt. Chloe tried to get me on her board a few times. It never ended well."

… 

… 

She feels it in her chest with every beat of the music. Her heartbeat keeps in time with the loud bass notes as they pump out of the speakers around the large room. She doesn't care about the song that’s currently playing or any of the songs that preceded it for that matter. The DJ has been primarily playing hip-hop and pop music, neither of which Max particularly enjoys. Still, she tries to enjoy herself regardless. 

The school transformed the gymnasium into a dance hall and hung decorations from the rafters and the collapsed bleachers. The theme the student body settled on was ‘under the sea.’ Blue streamers, starfish, and sea shells hang from the high ceiling. The tables around the edges of the converted basketball court have blue tablecloths and sandy decorations. Even the photo backdrop is set up to look like a tropical beach with palm trees.

Max can't help but think how Chloe would have reacted to seeing it. I'm sure she would have made some comments about being pirates. She'd probably want to attack the ‘enemy ship' and make the DJ walk the plank so she could play better music. 

The image of Chloe in a slim blue dress that cuts off just above her knees and combat boots trying to start a mosh pit in the middle of a school dance causes her to chuckle. 

“What's so funny?" 

The voice breaks Max out of her fantasy world as she glances up to meet her date’s gaze. “Nothing," she answers initially, shaking her head. “I was just thinking Chloe would probably love the theme." 

“Oh," Jeremy replies unenthusiastically before catching himself. “Does she really like the beach?”

"Yeah… something like that," Max answers without offering a further explanation. Pushing the thought out of her mind, she refocuses on the boy in front of her, placing her hands on his shoulders as they dance at their own pace.

…

…

“Feel better?" Jeremy asks when Max lets out a slow steady breath. 

“Yeah. Sorry, I just…get a little overwhelmed when I'm around big crowds like that.” Max takes another deep breath, enjoying the cool night air as they sit on a concrete bench outside the gym. 

“Do you have anxiety?" 

“Something like that," Max answers noncommittally, not wanting to get into her mental health.

“Does it happen often?” Jeremy questions further.

Max shakes her head, hoping he'll drop the topic. "Not really. I think the loud music and flashing lights made it worse.” The look of worry on the boy's face warms her heart. 

“Do you want me to take you home?" He offers. 

“No. I'll be fine, really. I just need a few minutes to kind of… de-stimulate and then I'll be fine.”

"Alright. But if it's too much we can go at any time,” Jeremy reassures Max as he sits next to her on the cold, hard bench. 

"You don't have to babysit me," Max starts to say. “I'll just be a few minutes, you can go back inside if you want." 

“I wouldn't be a very good date if I just left you alone out here." 

Max takes a few more controlled breaths before she feels a comforting weight around her shoulders as the boy drapes his blazer around her. "Thanks,” she mutters shyly, feeling her cheeks flush.

Jeremy doesn't speak as they sit in silence for several minutes. Max occasionally sneaks a glance, trying not to be obvious. 

It's strange how I ended up here. I thought for sure I'd end up going through high school without ever getting a boyfriend or… girlfriend. I mean, it's not like Jeremy and I are boyfriend and girlfriend yet. But… maybe we could be. 

Do I even want to be his girlfriend? Max steals another glance as the boy stares up at the sky. He's definitely cute. And nice. And we have a lot in common. Okay, so maybe I would like to be his girlfriend. 

But then… What was Chloe to me… really? Was I just confusing best friendship with love? Or did I really… An uninvited image springs up in her mind of the blue-haired punk – wearing that sleek, form-fitting blue dress she pictured earlier – holding her hand out for Max as she asks her to dance with her.

Max shakes her head, pushing such thoughts out of her mind. “Come on," she says as she hastily stands up, "let's go back inside.”

May 15th, 2013

“So, are you and Jeremy dating or what?" Kristen asks as soon as she sits down next to Max while she waits for History class to begin, slamming her books on the table and causing the brunette to jump at the loud noise. 

“Kris! Geeze, you just scared the shit out of me." Max complains as she narrows her eyes at her friend. 

“You had it coming, spacing out like that. Now answer my question." The blonde girl sighs when Max simply stares at her with a confused look. "Are you and Jeremy dating?”

"I-I… I don't know," Max admits. And truthfully, she hadn't even thought much of it. 

“What do you mean you don't know?" Kristen asks in disbelief.

“We’ve hung out a few times after school since the dance. But I guess we haven't really talked about it.” 

“Have you had sex yet?” Kristen asks bluntly, causing Max to turn beet red. 

"Oh, my god. No.”

"But You've at least made out. Right?” Max simply shakes her head, worry starting to seep into her mind. "Not even kissed?!”

“Should we have?" Max asks as her fingers begin to fidget with her pencil. 

“Not if you're happy with just being friends. Has he even asked you to be his girlfriend?" 

Again Max shakes her head. Considering she's never been in a relationship before, she really has no idea how things are supposed to happen. Now though, her thoughts are turning dark as she wonders if she's doing something wrong. 

“Have you even told Jeremy you like him?" 

“No." 

"God you're useless,” Kristen exhales, before recomposing herself. "You do want to date him, right?” Max simply nods, knowing Kristen's probably cooking up some kind of plan like always. "Then you need to tell him. If he hasn't had the balls to do it himself, then you need to make the next move.”

“And how do I do that?" Max asks hesitantly. Kristen may have some good ideas – occasionally. However, Max knows all too well how badly her friend's schemes can go wrong. Not unlike a certain punk friend of hers.

“I already told you, you just have to tell him," Kristen blurts out like it should be obvious. “Okay, how about this? You invite him over to your place, take him up to your room, get him to sit on your bed, and then lean into him and tell him how you feel. If he's half the man he appears to be, there's no way he won't at least try to kiss you.”

"That's it?” Max asks, surprised by how simple it sounds. 

"And maybe seal the deal with a blowjob,” Kristen adds nonchalantly.

And there it is. Max groans and grimaces at the suggestion. "Eww. No way am I doing that.”

“What's wrong with giving a guy a blowjob? I'm sure you've fantasized about going down on Chloe.” Max opens her mouth to protest but the words never come. Instead, she blushes profusely as she realizes the blonde is right. "See, it's the same thing.”

“It is not the same thing," Max argues. “Chloe doesn't have a… a penis," she whispers the last part. 

“So one is an innie and one is an outie. I thought you liked both since you're bi."

“I-I…" Max tries to think of something to counter with, but nothing comes to mind.

“Dude, Fernando’s a gay trans man. How is your sexuality more confusing than his?" 

…

…

Max rearranges the pillows on her bed for the umpteenth time to distract herself from the nervous energy coursing throughout her body. She grabs Captain and is about to hide the old teddy bear before changing her mind and placing him back in his spot. 

Following her conversation with Kristen, she'd decided to take the girl’s advice – some of her advice, not all of it – and invited Jeremy over to her house with the intent of discussing their relationship. And yeah, maybe I’ve been thinking about kissing him. He's hot and I'm almost eighteen and haven't kissed anyone besides–

Her train of thought is interrupted by the sound of the doorbell ringing; followed shortly after by her mother calling out “Just a second." 

“I-I’ve got it," Max yells as she practically flies out of her room and down the stairs. Vanessa eyes her curiously as Max pauses in front of the door to straighten her skirt and catch her breath. 

Reaching her hand to grip the doorknob, Max turns it before pulling the door inward. “Yo, Max. What up?" Jeremy greets her in his usual relaxed way before Max suddenly wraps her arms around his neck in a hug. 

“H-hey," Max replies sheepishly before realizing what she's doing and backing away awkwardly.

“Uh, hey," the boy says with a small nervous laugh before stepping inside to allow the young brunette to close the door. 

"Come on,” Max says as she takes his hand – not something she hasn't done before – and leads him towards her room – something she definitely hasn't done before. She barely manages to set one foot on the stairs before her mom speaks up.

“Hello again Jeremy." 

"Oh, hi Mrs. Caulfield,” the boy greets Vanessa, taking on a more formal tone. 

"Where are you two going?” Max's mother inquires, much to the younger woman's annoyance. 

"We’re just going to study in my room,” Max lies, trying to play it cool.

"Mhmm. Keep the door open sweetie.” Vanessa orders before turning back toward the kitchen. 

"Mom!” Max flushes with embarrassment as she watches her mother ignore her.

The two teens make it to Max's room without further interruptions or embarrassment. However, now that Max is opening the door to her room, her nerves go into overdrive. Oh dog, I'm about to have an actual boy in my room. On. My. Bed! Not that Fernando isn't an actual boy, but it's different, he's just a friend. 

"Uhm, everything okay, Max?” 

Jeremy's voice breaks Max out of her spiraling thoughts as she realizes she's stopped. "Yeah, sorry just… do you want anything to drink?" 

The young man merely shrugs. “Maybe later." 

"Okay.” When no other distractions immediately present themselves, Max pushes the door open and steps inside her room.

"Woah,” Jeremy gasps as he steps inside, eyes instantly drawn to the wall-and-a-half’s worth of Polaroids plastered above her bed and adjacent walls. "I know you love to take photos, but this is amazing.”

His excitement does wonders to calm Max's nerves as she occupies herself with her hi-fi stereo. She's already selected a CD to play ahead of time, so she simply presses play and adjusts the volume to a more comfortable level as Syd Matters’ gentle strumming fills the room. Turning back around, she notices Jeremy leaning over her bed to get a closer look at the numerous Polaroids. A strange feeling washes over her at the familiar sight, albeit with a different person in front of her.

"Dude, you're like Super Max with a camera,” Jeremy says excitedly when he glances over his shoulder at her. "You're a hella talented photographer.”

Max's stomach flutters and her cheeks flush at the compliment. "Thanks but, I've still got a lot to learn,” she says sheepishly as she twirls a lock of hair with her finger. 

"Is this your friend? Chloe?” Jeremy asks as he returns his attention to the photo wall. “You guys look… really close,” he mutters. Max kneels on her bed next to him and sees a small group of photos from the last time Chloe had visited Seattle over a year ago when she'd shown up a complete mess after catching Rachel cheating on her.

"Yeah. We’ve pretty much known each other our whole lives." 

“Must be hard living so far apart. At least you've stayed in touch.”

“Yeah, it hasn't been easy," Max replies, thinking of all the times their friendship struggled over the years. 

“Where was this taken?" Jeremy asks as he points at a goofy shot of Max and Chloe at the junkyard in Arcadia Bay.

Jeremy listens quietly as Max starts describing some of the photos on the wall. She points to her favorite shots while telling him where they were taken and sometimes how she got a certain angle or effect. She gets carried away as she always does when discussing her photography and occasionally shares a funny story behind a particular photo. She doesn't know how long she talks for but eventually, she figures she's probably talked for too long.

“Sorry, I must be boring you," Max states as she turns to sit on the edge of the bed. 

“No, it's cool you're so passionate about it. I just do a bit of drawing so I think I learned a lot," the boy says as he sits next to her on the edge of the bed. Max busies herself by straightening her skirt, noting how their legs are nearly touching as Jeremy looks around her room. “I had no idea what your room would look like, but the mix of styles kinda fits you." 

“What?" The brunette asks, caught a little off guard as she glances around her room. She never really noticed before, but Jeremy is right. Half the decor looks like what she thinks a typical girl's room would – all pink and happy colors. However, mixed in ae signs of her more recent style with dark curtains and bedding and the occasional band poster or artwork. 

"Sorry, that sounds bad. I just meant like… you're more complicated than you appear. Like in a good way. You're mysterious." 

“Oh." 

One song changes into another as they sit on Max's bed in near silence. The brunette moves her hand, setting it between them and brushing Jeremy's in the process. Feeling daring, Max extends her pinky, rubbing Jeremy's, and is pleasantly surprised when he takes her whole hand in his own. 

Her heart beats faster and Max turns to look at the boy next to her. His scruffy brown hair hangs just above his dark eyes as he stares into the distance. Her eyes flick down to his lips as she takes a deep breath. 

Jeremy turns his head, meeting her eyes as he starts to speak. "Max, I-”

She doesn't let him finish his thought as she summons all the courage she has and leans forward, pressing her lips to his. His lips are dry, chapped, and rougher than she expects, yet warm. There's a second of hesitation before Jeremy returns the kiss, moving his lips against Max's. The contact sends tendrils of electricity throughout her as they kiss. With a small, delighted hum, Max reaches a hand up and lightly traces her fingertips along his cheek.

"W-wait,” Jeremy says as he suddenly grabs Max's hand and breaks apart. 

Confusion and worry seize her chest as Max's eyes flutter open, searching Jeremy's. “I-I’m sorry. Did I do something wrong?" 

“No-no, I just…” he pauses and turns his head, releasing her hand while avoiding her gaze.

“I should have asked first," Max stammers as she tries to salvage the situation. “I've never done this before and… I-I really like you and I thought…" she leans forward, trying to meet his eyes again.

The boy sighs before pushing himself off the bed, putting distance between them. “No, it's my fault. I should have just done this sooner." 

Max watches the boy pace in front of her, a lump forming in her throat as dread consumes her. “I don't…”

Jeremy stops his pacing and turns to face her. “Look, Max, I like you too. You're interesting, funny, smart, really cute. And you’re quiet and weird, but like in a really cool way.”

"But…?” Max asks when he pauses. Normally hearing the boy she likes say such things would give her butterflies. Instead, it feels like there's a large rock sitting in the pit of her stomach, weighing her down. Her fingers wring the hem of her skirt, a short frilly thing she changed into as soon as she got home from school in the hope Jeremy would like it.

"I-I… don't think this is going to work between us.” He says at last, clearly struggling to push the words out. 

The rock in the pit of her stomach sinks deeper as Max deflates and drops her gaze. “Oh." 

"I'm sorry, Max. I wish I'd worked up the courage to ask you out at the beginning of the school year. But we have finals next week – and my parents have been talking about going on this big trip as soon as my little sister and I are out of school for the summer. And… you're going to be going to a different school in a different state next year." 

Max's head snaps up at the last part. “I don't even know if I'll get into Blackwell though," she states in an attempt to change his mind. 

A small, sad smile pulls at the corners of his lips as Jeremy gestures at the wall behind her. “I might not know much about photography, but they would be idiots to reject you, Max. You're going to get in." 

"So… You’re… rejecting me?” Max asks, still trying to understand how things took such a sudden turn. 

The boy sighs as he rubs the back of his neck and refuses to meet her eyes again. "If things were different, I would have really wanted to ask you to be my girlfriend, Max. We can still be friends though.”

“Yeah... Sure,” Max mutters.

A heavy silence hangs between them for several minutes. Max’s eyes focus on the Vans Jeremy wears every day; held together by duck tape where his skateboard has worn through. She refuses to look up and meet his eyes as he shuffles his feet. 

"I uhm… I should go,” Jeremy says eventually as he starts walking away. He pauses by the door and Max still doesn't look up. "I'm sorry, Max," he says, sounding genuinely remorseful.

She barely hears the front door open and shut before her laptop begins chiming with an incoming video call. Looking over, Max sees Chloe's profile pic appear on the screen. Almost mechanically, she pushes herself off the bed and plops down on her desk chair, hitting the answer button on her laptop. 

"What up, Maxie,” Chloe greets as her face appears on screen with her messy bedroom in the background. “Work was dead today, so Joyce sent me home early and I figured I'd bug you." 

“Hey, Chloe," is all Max can muster.

Not to Max's surprise, the punk picks up on her mood immediately as her face shows concern. "What's wrong? Did something happen at school?”

“It's nothing," Max says in a futile attempt to avoid talking about what just transpired.

"Bullshit, it's not nothing. I know you better than that Max. So tell me what happened. Was it your boyfriend? Do I have to kick his ass?”

The mention of ‘boyfriend’ suddenly makes it feel real. “He wasn't even…" A lump forms in her throat, stopping her words before she swallows past the lump. Tears begin to well up in her eyes as focuses on the punk’s face properly. “We weren't even officially dating but… I think he just broke up with me,” her voice breaks as the first tear runs down her cheek. 

"Shit. I'm sorry, Max,” Chloe replies, her voice becoming soft. "I know how much that hurts. Tell me what happened.”

“I-I," Max strutters before taking a breath to try and calm herself. “I asked Jeremy over because I wanted to talk. We were sitting on my bed, holding hands and he'd been complimenting me. So I just decided to kiss him. And at first, he kissed me back, but then he stopped and said we couldn't be together." 

Chloe becomes visibly irate as Max explains what happened. “So he samples the goods and then just dumps you? What a fucking asshole! What's his address? I'm going to kick his ass. Nobody does that to my Max!" 

Chloe's overprotective response actually makes Max chuckle past the tears. “You can't even drive your truck right now, how would you even get here?" 

“I'll…buy a bus ticket. He needs to feel the pain he's caused you!" 

“Chloe…” Max says before choking out a single laugh and wiping the tears from her cheeks. "Jeremy wasn't trying to be mean. I think… I think he genuinely felt bad." 

“Not yet he doesn't. But I'll make sure he does," Chloe interrupts. 

“Chloe, stop. It's okay, really." 

“But… But you're sad." The concern in the punk’s voice and expression goes a long way to making Max feel better. 

“A little bit, yeah," the brunette admits. “I mean, I do like him and wanted to be his girlfriend. And he said he wanted me to be his girlfriend. It's just… the timing sucks… I guess. He's afraid I'm going to move away before we even get to be together." 

"How do I make you feel better then?”

"You’re already doing it, Chloe.”

July 10th 2013

“Ugh, I'm so bored," Max whines as she hangs upside down on the living room couch. Her legs dangle over the back while her head hangs just over the edge of the seat cushion, blood rushing to her brain. 

"Well excuse me for being so boring,” Chloe's voice plays through the speaker on Max's laptop from where it sits on the coffee table. 

“I didn't mean you," Max responds. Her dark bangs ruffle each time the fan in the corner of the room blows air in her direction. The late afternoon sun casts beams of light along the walls as dust particles sparkle and dance. “I just mean it sucks that your truck broke down. I was really looking forward to you staying with us this summer." 

“Well," Chloe starts, pausing as she licks the rolling paper of the joint she was busy preparing. “A few more weeks and I should have enough saved from my job at the diner to pay for the laundry list of repairs it needs." She fits the joint between her lips and grabs her lighter, taking a couple of drags off the joint before continuing. “Then it will probably be in the shop for two weeks.”

Max does some quick math in her head. "Summer will pretty much be over by that point.”

“Well, you could always get a car yourself. Then you could drive down to see me.”

“But then I'd have to get a job," Max complains. “And driving in the city is kind of scary. Ugh!" The brunette sighs as she lets her arms drop toward the floor.

“You're so dramatic," Chloe chuckles before she takes another puff of her weed. “You might want to sit up before you pass out… or accidentally flash me.”

"Huh?” Max tilts her head up, noticing her shirt has slid down, exposing her stomach. She groans as she tries awkwardly to maneuver her body and sit up straight, nearly falling off the couch in the process. Chloe apparently finds it hilarious as Max can hear her laughing through the speaker. “Ngh, head rush.”

“Dude your head looked like it was about to pop," the punk laughs. “Cute tummy by the way. I wonder how far down those freckles go." 

“Wouldn't you like to know," Max teases in return as the dizziness fades.

“I would," Chloe responds, wiggling her eyebrows. 

The brunette shakes her head, ignoring her friend's obvious attempt to goad her into further embarrassment. “Anyways…”

"Anyways,” Chloe repeats as she takes the last drag of her joint before snuffing it out. "If you're so bored, why don't you hang out with Kristen or Fernando?”

Max sighs at the mention of her friends who are both currently missing in action. “Kristen got grounded for trying to sneak a guy into her room late at night – while drunk." 

“No shit?!" 

“Yeah, it didn't go well,” Max notes as she recalls what her friend told her. "And Fernando's spending the summer with his grandparents in Puerto Rico." 

“Lame," the punk replies as she leans back against the wall behind her . “What about your boy toy? Jered or… Uh… whatthefuck’s name?”

"Jeremy?” 

"Yeah. That's what I said. Is he back from his big trip or whatever?”

"Yeah…” Max answers, feeling a small spike of hurt and rejection in the pit of her stomach.

“So…? Have you talked to him?”

Max lets out another sigh, pushing the negative feelings away. “Not really. He texted me, like… a week or so ago, letting me know he was back and asking to hang out.”

"And?” Chloe asks, waiting for Max to finish her thought.

“I didn't text him back," Max shrugs, glancing down and suddenly finding the hem of her shorts more interesting. "He's texted me a few times but I… I don't know. I just don't really feel like talking to him after…”

“After he kissed you and then crapped on your heart,” Chloe finishes for her. 

"Yeah… that.”

"Good. Keep ignoring him. Long Max Silver gives no man a second chance!” Chloe proclaims for her. "Just proves he wasn't good enough for you.”

"Oh, and I suppose you’re the expert on who I should date?” Max teases. 

"As your captain? Yes. I am. In fact, nobody is good enough for you. Except me, of course." 

“Of course," Max laughs. The sound of a key turning in the front door distracts Max from what she's about to say as she looks up in time to see her parents enter. "Hey.”

“Hay is for horses," Ryan corrects in a teasing tone.

"No wonder you have such a lame sense of humor,” Chloe groans.

"You just can't appreciate how hip I am,” Ryan responds. "And I distinctly remember making you laugh so hard at dinner, milk came out of your nose, Chloe.”

"Yeah, when I was like six and still thought you were cool,” the punk fires back. 

"I'm still cool. And I got most of my jokes from William. So think about who you're calling lame,” Ryan teases back.

"Sorry dear, but you became lame the moment the girls became teenagers,” Vanessa interjects before handing a large white envelope to Max. "This arrived in the mail for you today." 

“What is it?" Chloe asks curiously.

“It's from Blackwell," Max answers apprehensively. The room – and laptop – go quiet as she slides her finger under the envelope’s flap, tearing the paper as she opens it. Max pulls out a thick stack of papers, on top of which is a letter addressed to her. She begins reading it out loud.

"Dear Miss Caulfield. We are pleased to inform you that your application to attend Blackwell Academy for the 2013 to 2014 school year has been… accepted with a spot reserved for you in our photography program." She glances up from the letter in her hands, seeing the barely contained excitement on both her parents and Chloe's faces as they seemingly wait for Max's reaction. Glancing back at the letter she continues: “Furthermore, we are prepared to offer you a full academic scholarship should you choose to attend. We look forward to your response.” It takes a moment before it hits her and her eyes go wide. 

“Holy shit, I'm going to Blackwell!"