Chapter Text
Every day he visited. Staring at that starry sky in their place, wondering what he could've done better.
Outertale was a peaceful AU. What Error had called 'genocide runs' never happened.
Well, there was one time, but it had been abandoned rather quickly.
Despite this, they were still stuck in space. Away from the planet they used to call home.
Error had said that he wanted to show him places outside this universe, but…
He never got the chance. It was always too dangerous, in his eyes.
Also according to him, is that this universe had never had a planned route to go back to Earth. There were other variants like it that had the chance, the thought unsettling in a way, how his world wasn't as good as others existing like it.
But it's okay now, because he knows that he would want to experience all those new things with Error. Like said before, he can't though, as it has been deemed impossible due to how this place was made.
He still can't believe that he's gone.
If only, if only he had a way to bring him back. Turn back time like how people with enough determination can.
But resets are bound to their own universe. It wouldn't change a thing if he gave himself that power.
Which scares him. Because there's no turning back what has happened.
So he sits here, every day, alone, wondering what he could have done differently.
Today too he sits here. Like every single day. Wondering what he could have done different.
It's a constant. No matter how he tries to convince himself of otherwise, he feels like it's all his fault.
If he could have been there to protect Error, if he could have been the one to fall instead, maybe it would've been okay.
But where would that leave Error? His dear Firewall, without the only person who cared about him.
It seems selfish to think that, that you were the only person there for another, but in this case it's true.
Error had nobody before him. It was clear from Nightmare and Dream's visit that the multiverse wasn't kind to him.
He was the only one to lend a hand, and stars, he hates that.
His Firewall would be all alone. And his Firewall would still be trapped in a constant cycle of creation and destruction.
He doesn't know if he'd be able to take it, after everything that's happened to him.
It's funny, in a cruel type of way, that in comparison Sans' life was full of uneventful nothing.
Oh, how he wishes their roles had been reversed.
But Error wouldn't want that.
Again.
He's here again.
It's been a week now, since he found out.
Found out that horrible truth.
Why does he keep coming?
Error isn't going to magically appear out of thin air. He isn't coming back.
Is it because of the memories of this place?
Maybe.
All that time he spent with him he would never want to forget.
It's painful, though. To feel powerless in a scenario that you could've stopped.
He wanted to fight for him. Fight for Error.
But he insisted on him staying here.
So he did. Because that's what made him happy.
Error cared more about others safety, his safety, than his own.
And that led to his downfall.
At least Ink is missing. Error, he probably dragged him down with him. Because the Error he knows wouldn't leave this multiverse in someone's hands like him .
But that doesn't make it better.
Part of him wishes him and the rest of this place would be gone.
But that ignores what Error would've wanted.
What Error would've wanted…
What about what he wants?
He wanted to fight with Error. No, fight for Error. He wanted to help him! Keep him from getting hurt, all mentally, physically, and emotionally!!!
But Error didn't- He didn't want that!
And because he was so stubborn, so set on keeping him safe, he got hurt.
He could've stopped Error from losing it the first time if he had been there, fighting with him!
Maybe then things wouldn't have been so… so… so…
So much like this!
Horrible, ugly, cruel, saddening. So many words that he doesn't even know.
Every single time he's come here since then he's felt like this.
If he had done something, anything , it surely would have turned out different.
He had seen a glimpse of something when he was walking to their place.
Yes, walking. He wants to take his time coming here. Just to think.
It was probably just a hallucination, because it had disappeared as he came closer.
But why does looking at it feel so, so familiar.
And before he knows it, he's there again.
What will his mind wander to today?
Nothing good, he supposes.
There's just so much bad relating to what he's lost, even though nobody knows. Life just continues as normal, and he hates it.
It shouldn't be normal! Why aren't they as sad, as upset, as angry as he is???
But he knows why. They don't know about Error. They don't know that he's gone now.
Most of them never even knew he existed.
The most they've seen of him was when he had to drag him back to his house. And even then, that wasn't for long.
He's been trying to keep his emotions a secret, but it's hard. But nobody has asked him about it, so he assumes he's doing a good job.
Part of him wishes he wasn't doing a good job.
Part of him just wants to break down and cry to anyone, anyone at all.
But he can't.
He saw that figure again.
A bit closer, this time.
That something he had seen, he had almost mistaken it for Error.
It looked like Error, had the same stature of Error, had the same clothes of Error, but it wasn't Error.
He wishes it was Error.
Those greyed-out colors aren't him.
He sighs.
Everything still stays the same.
The figure disappears before his eyes.
He's really losing it, isn't he?
Why does that figure he sees look so much like him? Like Error?
Is it just a manifestation of his grief, or something more?
He's getting closer each time, getting a better look at him.
Each glance looks, and especially feels more like Error.
Why is that? Is it even real?
Is it his guilt? He does feel guilty for not doing anything.
Has been feeling that way for a while now.
He hates this.
That figure is most definitely Error.
How does he know? Because he got close enough to see him this time.
Same scarf, same coat, same glasses, but…
He's lost all the color in his body.
Sans rushes towards him, running as fast as he can. He has to see him. He has to see Error.
He has to. He has to. He ha-
But Error disappears yet again from his sight.
Tears fall from his sockets.
Why did things have to turn out this way?
He approaches slower, closer this time.
That seemed to help, as the figure actually stayed put.
He notices something. Parts of his body drifting in and out of reality. He mistook it for his glitches before, but this is clearly something different.
Why is it different?
"Hello. I see you've come to this spot." The figure, 'Error', states.
Sans jumps. He didn't expect a response. "Error, i- is that-"
Error interrupts him. "Do you want to sit with me? The stars are nice."
"I-" His voice is different. Echoey instead of corrupt.
Why?
"Please, take a seat. It's lonely without any company." Error doesn't divert his gaze from the sky.
His gaze… It's pupiless and white. Empty in a way.
Why?
Sans takes a sit. "Wh- What happened to you, Error?"
Error doesn't answer the question, instead keeping his focus on the sky. It's like he isn't even processing that it's Sans next to him, only realizing that there's a person who approached him.
"I used to stargaze with someone. Someone I cared about an awful lot. I wonder how they're doing?" Error stares.
They're doing awful, Sans subconsciously says to himself. But he plays along with the act, not knowing what else to do. He has to smile for him. "They're surely doing fine, but I think they miss you."
"I miss him." He states.
Sans scoots closer to this apparition. "I think he misses you, too."
Error still doesn't divert his gaze from the sky. "We always spent time together. Though I could never do everything I wanted with him. It was too dangerous."
"What do you mean?" Sans questions, knowing exactly what he means.
The other doesn't seem to process the question. "We had a schedule. It was hard to keep up with, due to universes' times passing differently, but I somehow managed."
Sans stares at Error. What is he? Error was gone, wasn't he?
This looks like him, has the same memories of him, but…
Like he said, Error was gone.
But a reflection of him is staring right at the stars next to him.
Oh.
Reflection…
This is him.
"He was special to me."
Error was special to him, too.
But this isn't Error.
It is, but it isn't fully Error.
It's a fraction of him, a part of him that was scattered in the void that somehow reached Outertale.
Then, as it sets in that this isn't really him, Error hits him with what he had known for a while now.
"He was the only one that seemed to care."
Tears fall from Sans' sockets.
He knows that! He knows that nobody else seemed to care about Error's wellbeing, his health, or anything, for that matter!
"I- I k- know F- Firewall…" He manages to stutter out.
He's breaking down right at the moment.
Error here. But he isn't. But he is.
He doesn't want a fraction of Error, he wants all of Error.
But that's impossible.
Tears stream from his face. A face that appeared fine before, but was hiding under a mask of pain.
He tried to smile for this part of Error. But he can't.
"He was my Starshine." Error closes his eyes, and smiles. "I loved him, even though I could never say it."
Loved him…
Error- He loved him…
And he realizes that he loved him back, all this time.
Sans, trembling, grabs that reflection into his arms, and hugs him tight as he can.
"I loved you too, Firewall! I'm sorry I could never say it, and I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to protect you from what happened!!! Even now, I still love you!!!" Sans shouts, sobbing.
Error doesn't move. Error doesn't hug back. Error doesn't even respond.
And that's the most painful part about it.
Hugging him is like hugging nothing. There's something there, he can tell, but his arms feel like they're touching nothing. They meet contact with something, and can't move past it, but it feels like they're floating in the air.
He wishes there were more than that nothing something.
He wishes that that nothing something was a something something.
But it remains a nothing something.
This just affirms his sadness.
"Why did you have to leave! Why did they have to be so cruel! Why couldn't the multiverse be as kind to you as it was to me!!!" He shouts.
Error still doesn't respond.
"It's not fair, Firewall! Why couldn't we be happy together!? I hate how things turned out!!!" Tears still fall.
He grabs him tighter. It still feels like nothing.
He wants it to be something.
He wants it to be something.
He wants it to be something.
But it is nothing .
Sans shuts his eyes tight, never wanting to leave this place ever again.
He should've died with him.
But then their memories would be gone.
The only reason he stays living is to keep their memories alive.
It feels like that's all he's worth.
Especially now, when one of Error's shattered parts sits before him.
"I'm sorry… I- I wanted things to turn out different." Sans opens his eyes. Error is gone. "I couldn't change anything, in the end."
He hugs himself, and collapses onto the ground.
Today again, he sits at their spot.
Error isn't here. Not even a fragment of him remains that sat there before.
Nothing's going to change, is it?
He'll just remain here, stuck.
He never got to see those universes that error loved. He never got to experience all their joys with him. And the cruel thing is that he's never going to.
And he's alone with his feelings. His memories, his precious memories. Nobody is going to come visit and understand him.
He has people in his universe, sure, but without error he feels unabashedly alone.
And he remains that way.
Loneliness suffocates him. Sadness strangles him. Anger stabs at him.
He lies down.
At least the stars look nice.